#cw queer discourse

[silly-media-enjoyer]

reminder that being queer is not a medical condition and you don't have to fit in a specific set of symptoms to use certain labels. just call yourself whatever you'd like even if you don't fit in the commonly accepted definition.

[squidfreak]

"Notice how we always see things about lesboys but never gaygirls? men are always trying to invade lesbian spaces..."

One, we don't tell you guys about turigirls/gaygirls because you'll also flip your shit over them just like you do with lesboys. Two, what the hell are you talking about??? And three, you're harassing lesbians and invading their spaces?!?!?!?!??! Even then, no one cares what turigirls/gaygirls are because people are too focused on trying to control lesbians.... 🫠

[kneptoon]

The most infuriating thing about the debate on whether polyamory/kink should be considered queer, is the argument that “oh it allows cishets to invade the Queer community!!” as if that is something we should be worried about at all. (spoiler alert, it isn’t.)

Cause here’s the thing: allocishets invade Queer spaces and appropriate Queer culture all the time. And they don’t have to falsely-identify as Queer to do it. The systems in place give them the power to do that already.

Allocishets who identify as Queer because they’re poly/kinky (which, let’s be honest, is few and far between to begin with) usually identify as Queer in good faith. To try and disprove their experiences as “not queer” or to accuse them of having malicious intentions is just flat out invalidating and exclusionary.

Who cares if polyamory is queer or not. Who cares if kink is queer or not. These aggressive Queer Theory debates aren’t going to protect Queer spaces. So maybe instead of debating what objectively is and isn’t a Queer identity, we should instead be focusing on implementing practical, tangible protections that DON’T exclude entire populations of people who may be looking for community.

[rotting-brains]

reminder that "for women and nonbinary people" is dumb and doesn't work, it's just actively excluding other members of the community, including women and nonbinary people

[sophie-baybey]

There is a very specific type of trans ally who’s feminism is very into free the nipple and not shaving their stache legs or pits who will go beyond posting about how women don’t and shouldn’t have to remove body hair and how wrong it is to view like, a bush as unhygienic, and into “if you, as a woman, shave, you’re dismantling feminism” I don’t think the “people” mentioned in the post are outright open transphobes

dont send me stuff like this i dont care

[gourde]

Also I know I'm reblogging a lot about crimew and the harrasment to it despite there not being much on Tumblr and mainly a Twitter thing but. I'm doing it because someone had an argument with me in DMs saying I'm all the phobics for "supporting" bi lesbians even though I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS??? WHATEVER! I will now support every single bi lesbian out there and by god I will support crimew it deserves it after all, being an enemy of the state. Icon behaviour. Queen shit!

[gor3sigil]

One evening, I was at the LGBTQIA center for a trans committee and I was the only trans man in attendance. One trans woman told me she never understood how I could want to be a "disgusting man".

Later that evening, she told me she'd love to swap bodies with me (I was pre T, pre op and didn't bind). I told her I didn't understand why she'd want to have the body of a "disgusting man".

She called me transmisogynistic.

Oh, the irony.

[januscorner]

It’s so weird when people act like cishet people know about queer discourse, I don’t think that frat bro hit on you cus of bi lesbians he hit on you cus he’s a dick

[glimblshanks]

I will say that learning about Christianity has helped contextualize so much about queer and leftist discourse for me like,,,

Why are some people so insistant on gatekeeping queer identity? Well, because they got kicked out of their religious community for being "not really Christian" when they came out as queer. Now, rather than actually deal with that trauma, they've decided to export it by policing queerness in the same way their ex-community policed who was allowed in the faith

Why do some leftists talk about "the revolution" like it's some big inevitable moment that they're waiting for? Because they grew up in Evangelical Christianity believing in the rapture, and when they became an atheist/agnostic/whatever and started reading leftist theory they applied that same mindset of waiting and belief to "the revolution"

Why would so many leftist rather not act at all than act imperfectly? Because they come from Christian backgrounds with an incredibly unnuanced, black and white view of morality where you get horribly eternally punished for doing anything wrong. If you apply that mindset to politics it can feel genuinely paralyzing to try and take political action that might be imperfect, because you don't want to be punished (by who? twitter?) for doing something wrong.

Like obviously these are very broad generalizations, and some of this is also gonna apply to people who weren't raised Christian because, at least in the U.S., we live in a culturally Christian nation where a lot of these beliefs get imparted in "secular" spaces like schools as well. But I swear the more I dig into Christianity the more I go "oh, this is where these very confusing political beliefs come from! That's why I don't get it!"

[kiruliom]

can we stop the belief that terfs hate transfems exclusively or like more than they hate cisgender men or transmascs and pretending it's just the trans women's battle against them and you're allies for them or whatever. this literally undermines how much harm theyre doing both to the trans community as a whole and even to the people (cis women) they claim to be protecting. terfs hate trans men just as much as trans women, transmascs arent safe because terfs view them as "uwu confused girlies trying to escape oppression", that is a very narrow worldview and inherently transphobic itself (it excludes butches, transmascs who's medically transitioned, intersex people, etc. etc.) transfems arent more oppressed by terfs than any other people theyre oppressing, please understand this. Im so sick and tired of people undermining my transmasc siblings when it comes to harassment from terfs because "well you arent a target to them", why are they harassing them then????

I just geniuenly dont like how the queer community can claim to be transmasc friendly and then view transmascs the same way transphobes view them (again, uwu girlies who are tricked into ruining their feminine beauty, they dont know anything and how lucky they are). feels both andromisic and misogynistic at the same time on top of transmisic idk how the fuck you manage to fuck up that badly

tldr: stop pretending transmascs arent affected by terfs nearly as much as transfems

anyone can reblog, except terfs of course they can fuck off

transfem is used as a way to refer to "TMA"/"AMAB" trans people transmasc is used as a way to refer to "TME"/"AFAB" trans people I know the definition is a bit more fluid now so I just wanted to note that

[silly-media-enjoyer]

bi lesbians aren't a thing, go play in traffic terf

which sounds more terf:

everyone should be free to identify and label themselves in whatever way makes sense to them personally regardless of whether they fit into the common definition of the labels or words

or

there are rules to sexuality and gender that everyone must follow. and if someone decides to experiment and break these rules ive made up then they are wrong and should die

[squidfreak]

I've noticed a lot of exclus think "mspec" means "male spectrum" or something related with male LMAO

[punkitt-is-here]

So when are you gonna address your rampant lesbiphobia without being all "teehee XD" and trying to brush it off and deflect.

[bodiesbodiesbodiesx3]

All jokes aside, find it very disgusting how white queer people treat being a person of colour and being a queer person as separate categories so when a queer person of colour speaks out about racism in the community, queer oppression is slung at us as a defence as we are not queer in their eyes but cishet-adjacent.

Like our queerness is under control and if white queer people don't like how we act, it's stripped from us and we're treated like oppressors.

[lovewireds]

im going in fucking SANE pony town makes me go XRAYZ

[catgirl-kaiju]

i don't want anyone to start shit with tumblr user velvetvexations, but i do have some criticisms about the way she seems to operate.

when visiting her blog and looking her up in the tumblr search function, i see a pattern of behavior where she will go into people's ask boxes to badger folks who post about transmisogyny, interpretting many comments regarding the subject to be anti-transmasc, even when transmasc people are not even mentioned. she refers to this as "activism", but it reads more as a petulant "debate me" behavior that serves only to start fights with people she disagrees with.

this tendancy of hers is why i'm not @ing her or tagging her in this post, and why i've blocked her. i have no interest in dealing with a combative stranger on the internet.

i find it curious that she puts so much effort into harassing people who disagree with the transandrophobia model of talking about transmasc issues, or even just people who post about transmisogyny in a way she feels demonizes transmasc folks (just based on vibes, i guess), while putting very little effort into actually spreading awareness about the challenges that transmasc folks face.

like, i may disagree with transandrophobia being an appropriate or productive way to model the kinds of challenges unique to transmasc folks, but that doesn't mean that i think transmasc issues aren't worth talking about and making space for. i mostly post abt transfem stuff, bc that's what i most easily relate to, and it's what i can speak to from my experiences. but i do actually try to boost posts from transmasc folks that talk about transmasc issues and the transmasc experience. transmasc folks are an important part of my life and my community; i want them to be heard and cared about.

but, under the narrow conception of someone like velvetvexations, i actually hate transmasc folks bc i don't talk abt their issues and experiences the specific way she wants people to. and, frankly, it's strange that she seems to consider herself an authority in this area when she is not able to speak from a transmasc perspective. i think her energy would be much better spent boosting the words of transmasc folks speaking to their own experiences and drawing attention to causes that can address the challenges that they face, instead of trying to police the speech of her fellow transfems.

anyway, i think it would be hypocritical of me, on some level, to insist that she should boost the speech of transmasc folks and draw attention to causes that aid transmascs without doing that myself. so, i'll be taking a moment to post some links here to charitable causes that benefit transmascs:

Tbuddy bridges the critical gap in mental health support for transmasculine individuals by fostering a safe, 24/7 peer support network that leverages the power of lived experience. Through compassionate and confidential connections, we combat isolation, depression, and empower transmasculine individuals to thrive.

you can donate to Tbuddy on their website and you can apply for their services and resources if you are a transmasc person in need. they have been around since 2017, and were founded in response to the 51% suicide rate among transmasc folks at the time, seeking to combat the issues that drive transmasc people to suicidality.

DCATS (DC Area Transmasculine Society) is a trans-led nonprofit organization that serves to advance the lives of transmasculine folks by providing resources that help overcome the social, economic, and health-related barriers to living authentically. Founded in 1998 as a monthly support group, DCATS has transformed into an organization that offers a variety of services to meet our community's needs.

DCATS has a donate option on their website, as well as methods of contact, events, and programs.

Trans Masculine Alliance Houston is a peer led community group for anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) who identifies as FtM, transmasculine, non-binary, or who is questioning their gender. TMAH’s mission is to provide a safe and supportive environment for the transmasculine community. We hold workshops, community building and social activities, and meet to engage in discussion of issues related to transmasculine identity. Additionally, we are working on a program to help offset the cost of gender affirming surgeries and name/gender marker filing fees.

there does not appear to be a place to donate on their website, but they do have a directory of various resources pertinent to transmasc needs, some of them specific to the Houston area, and some more widely accessible.

i'm gonna stop there, just bc this post is already SO long, but anyone feel free to post more in the reblogs. also, transmascs, feel free to post any of your donation or fundraising links on this post. i will do my best to boost!

alright end of post, g'night y'all!