#cw: paranoia

[cult-of-the-eye]

I had 4 nightmares in a row today and most of them were tma themed...I've never found it that scary but I guess now I am?? I'm gonna tell you them now:

(these are slightly unsettling btw so check the tags for trigger warnings)

You know desecrated host and confession? Yeah it's just that except I am experiencing what father burrows experienced. Except I kill and skin my little sister and I feel the absolute horror of waking up and realising what I'm doing and somehow it's worse when I realise that I've made my twin sister distraught. Cut to next dream where

I'm running from a burning hilltop house and through some sort of death trap maze thing made out of hedges and while I'm running for my life, terrified, it occurs to me that hey I think I might've listened to a tma episode about this, so I try to remember what happened so I can either avoid/follow that fate. I can't think of anything but for some reason I find a dragon shaped hole in the hedge so I run through that towards another house which is suspiciously similar to hilltop house. It's like a white clinical version and the family is smiling at me and they take me in and make me share a bed with their son. I am extremely uncomfortable and hyper vigilant so I just lie there awake and run away as soon as it starts to get a bit lighter. Cut to next dream where

I'm at home, it's like 9 pm and my dad has called me downstairs. Every day he checks everything is locked before going to bed after I've checked everything is locked cause hes kinda paranoid. Hes about to tell me off cause the front door is unlocked. The door slowly creaks open as we're standing there, showing a humid, dark street, backlit by an orange glow. It's very unsettling and I turn to my dad and shout SHUT THE DOOR SOMEONE MIGHT GET IN!! I then turn around into the house and it dawns on me that someone is already in the house. I know it's a man with a ratty top hat and an even rattier black billowing cloak, hiding in the shadows of our house and I know when I'll find him, he'll be pointing at me. Because of this knowledge, I tell my dad to stay put, because I'm gonna find him and potentially sacrifice myself. He lets me. I comb through the house, looking behind furniture and in every saturated, dark corner and I find him. Hes just as I imagined, pointing at me, with an open mouth, as if he's just about to scream. Cut to next dream where

I am still in my house. It's morning. I am entrusted with the care of a small child (around 7 or 8) and I am told that people are trying to kill her. People are baying at my open front door trying to see her and I tell her to run upstairs, while I block the staircase using my whole body. They're pushing against me and I see the girl peep down and I shout at her telling her to get away, they're gonna get you. The dream cuts away to the next morning. I wake up, feeling hollow. The girl is gone. I know in my heart that she's dead and probably has died a painful death and that I failed but instead all I feel is a sense of relief that I don't have to take care of her anymore.

Yeah so I'm gonna spend the rest of my life thinking about that.

[theemmtropy]

Two moods recently have been

1) Don't know what's real (paranoia)

2) Don't know what's real (dissociation)

[trinoxtrinox]

Xitalu's eyes

Ectoberhaunt 2022, Side Order. Prompt: Eyes

Summary: There are some legends in the Infinite Realms, the one now is about The Eyes, something that had a name before but not anymore, and which drives anyone who sees them insane with paranoia.

Content Warning: After "Unknown source, circa 10 millennia ago" there's a moment of paranoia and someone being followed by an entity that doesn't show itself. "After Last memoirs of a ghost with a shattered core" insanity comes to play, and I ask for forgiveness for anyone that has Dyslexia.

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There are some legends in the Infinite Realms, tales of different places, myths brought upon by various ghosts that became famous on their own rights, phenomena that even by standards of the Realms can’t be explained and researching them are far too dangerous.

Such is the case for The Eyes, they might’ve had a name before, however with how much time has passed since the last time there was any documentation about what they were, it is believed that all records of the original name of the being were purposefully eradicated. For whatever reason which remains unknown to this day, it was deemed safer for no ghost to actually know about them, and the Ancient and Observants, the only beings that might have some knowledge on the matter, refuse to let anyone other than themselves know how real or fake some of them might be, like the fact that The Eyes come from the Realms itself, or that the Observants are behind them, or that it’s only  ploy to protect some sort of important treasure. Those last ones are never heard of again once they travel towards the location of The Eyes.

The Eyes are located above the Infinite Realms, in what could be considered the sky of the dimension. One would have to travel quite a distance and for a long while if one wishes to find them, and for those who find themselves accidentally stumbling in their domain there’s plenty of empty space in between the section of the Zone where the ghosts’ lairs are and the place of residence of The Eyes.

There are some tales of The Eyes from the ghosts that encountered it and stayed intact for a while before finally going down by their hand, here are some of their records left:

Unknown source, circa 10 millennia ago

“At the beginning there was nothing, the more I traveled upwards the more space began showing up empty, the more the green expanse was left empty and the color desaturated, it all went from a neon green slowly to a lime green. I didn’t notice this change at first, too focused on leaving a trace to not be lost during my travels, however once I took notice of that I was already far too gone upwards, most likely in the territory of the beast that is currently hunting me. I dare not call it a ghost, for I could never see their true form, and I fear that doing so would break something in me. Once I noticed that I was truly alone, I felt someone bearing their sights on me, I turned around in order to search for the source of the gaze, however no matter where I searched, up or down, front or back, left or right, I couldn’t find an origin to such a sensation, and thus chose to go back the way I came from. This proved to be a wise decision, for I heard many different sounds I can’t put into words behind me, it sounded like a squish mixed with a splash and splats, something meaty yet ethereal that kept moving and clashing with itself many times over and at the same time most of the time, however not once leaving a second of silence. I kept following the orbs of ectoplasm I left behind as fast as I could in order to escape, however I managed to catch the reflection of whatever was behind me through one of them. Behind me there were an infinite amount of eyes that left almost no empty space between themselves in the Realms behind me, all of them blinking pretty fast and with each of them a sound being made. I flew as hard as I could and somehow managed to leave them behind, however I never stopped once, not until I managed to reach my lair and crossed the door, finally reaching my own safe haven from whatever was pursuing me.

Yet I don’t believe I’m truly alone, thus far I feel safe and unbothered in my lair, however every time I leave it, every time I even open my door, I always have the feeling that someone takes notice of me and pushes their gaze in my direction, and I’ve discovered that no matter how far I travel nor how fast I go, that gaze never leaves me. I began hearing the sounds of those blinking eyes behind me whenever I step outside my lair now. I’m afraid of what’s to come since I can’t leave my only safe haven.

Here’s Marduk, hoping I gain a solution to my dilemma soon.

Today I heard the blinking inside my lair.”

Last memoirs of a ghost with a shattered core.

“I can feel them there are so many, why don’t they leave me alone? Why can’t they leave me alone? LEAVE ME ALONE! I can hear them, I can feel them, I can see them, I can’t see them, what is happening to me?

There’s no safe place for me, I have nowhere to go.

I have to find a safe haven, why can’t I free myself from its gaze, what’s it going to do to me?

They won’t leave me alone, well HA I won’t leave them alone, let’s see how it likes it when I also stare right into it.

Eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes there are so many eyes where do they come from what are they watching so many eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes I can’t stop watching them they surround me eyes eyes eyes eyes where do they come from eyes eyes eyes eyes I can feel them everywhere eyes eyes I can understand it eyes eyes eyes it wants my eyes it wants me to share their body it wanted me to gain more vision it wants me to see everything that there is that there will be that there was eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes I don’t want to join them I want to join them I can’t I have to I don’t want to I have a need to eyes eyes eyes I mustn't go I must go I ought to leave this place I ought to join them I can’t shift my gaze I can join their gaze I should join their eyes I shouldn’t be left behind eyes eyes eyes I’ll become an eye yes that’s good I’ll join them I’ll become another member of them I’ll become one with the eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes.”

Everything else that was left in those memoirs is considered illegible and can’t be read by anyone else lest they suffer enough damage to shatter their core and be ended.

There aren’t many records of any ghost meeting The Eyes, however they all coincide on the same thing, they reside on the top of the Infinite Realms, there’s plenty of space between the border of our territory and the beginning of its territory, once one is perceived by them there’s no turning back, and the only thing one can recognize from this entity is that it has many eyes that blink with an uncharacteristic sound accompanying each of them.

[skaiawards]

something inside something inside there's something inside of you something inside something inside there's something just out of view

something inside something inside there's bloodstains in the grout something inside something inside and i'm gonna tear it out

[margumis]

oooh the paranoia is winning tonight!

[ominouspuff]

when ur inconsiderate genetic duplicates fake a few deaths and kill a Sith w/out you

(you are a million other genetic duplicates)

Sketch Week! More concept art for Repurposing GAR armor towards the end of pulverizing wrinkly Sith — A guide by CC-1010, ecstatically-ex-marshal commander of Coruscant (AU)

[sweetgaleria]

Aaaw, you thought she was being cute <3

[maxcatz]

“the A in lgbtqia+ stands for ally!” i’m in your walls

[one-time-i-dreamt]

My cousin's stepdad kept making fun of the items I was gonna sell at a garage sale, calling me stupid for thinking anyone was going to buy them. Meanwhile, a group of roughly 5 people listened into all my conversations from massive pipes under my house as part of their efforts to ruin my life. I knew they were there, but everyone else thought I was insane.

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

TMA season 1, except instead of coping with the feeling of being watched through stubbornly ignoring it altogether, Jon takes the route that he does with many of the Statements early on, where he denies anything supernatural, and instead comes up with a more mundane explanation for why he feels constantly watched and scrutinized: corporate surveillance.

Clearly, Elias must be watching him through the security cameras, waiting to see if he messes up, because he knows that Jon is underqualified for this job! Jon, of course, deals with this suspicion in a very normal way. Throughout work, he talks out loud, directly to Elias, under the assumption that he’s listening, and whenever Martin does anything at all ever, Jon looks directly into the security camera like he’s on The Office.

[themichaelvan]

i hope the admiral knows i love him

(original image under cut, id in alt)

[caseyscraftycorner]

Bipolar, part 1.

[fecto-forgo]

fermi paradox - it is the nature of intelligent life to destroy others.

(textless under cut)

[annabelle--cane]

sometimes I get weird paranoia about mind readers and start to think like "oh nooo what if someone knows I'm thinking about [x] in class" but then I remember that my thoughts are always immaculately entertaining and 100% correct and any mind readers around me are probably sitting there in shock and awe of my beautiful mind, mayhaps even weeping silently to themselves because they'll never have what I do. and then I go back to thinking about the sexual undertones between emperor charles the bald and christ on the cross in a mid ninth century illuminated prayer book.

[dying-weeds]

[antiendovents]

gonna post my own little vent now, because god am I frustrated right now, so uh warning for that I guess???

I'm so pissed off about what endos have done to this community. I wish they didn't exist. Honestly. Fuck endos. Fuck their made up shit. I am already paranoid enough as it is about social interactions (and many other things) and endos have not helped one bit. I can't even like a single post related to systems, mogai, disability, ect without checking to make sure the person I'm interacting with isn't an endo / pro endo. Not just on this site either, but on other apps and websites. And it sucks because either a) they're pro endo / an endo and I have to deal with that , b ) they have no listed opinion / are neutral or if I'm lucky c ) they're anti endo. If there's no listed opinion (not even saying they're neutral, just nothing on it) I get oddly anxious. Like I know not everyone is required to give their opinions or beliefs but it makes me so paranoid that they might be a pro endo in disguise and I'll have to deal with that eventually.

I hate what endos have done to this community. I hate what they have done to me