#danny is a little morally ambiguous in here

[wandixx]

Justice League never helped Amity Park.

Why?

They genuinely didn't need any help, it was one of the most normal and safe town in America.

Other than Jack Fenton on the road hazard but it's not like he can break walls with his orange jeep, is it? It's too little to get JL on it.

Okay, so what does Phantom do right outside of the Watchtower drinking Capri sun? Is it related to how horrified Flash is, running around meeting room like he tries to wear down the floor?

Why yes, absolutely. You see dear traveler, Ghost child is just not from this timeline.

He is from the other one. The intense one. The one, where Amazonians were at war with Atlanteans, where there was no line Batman wouldn't cross, where doctors Fenton didn't stop their research after their dearest friend had accident.

Yeah, that's the one. One that Barry created by saving his mother and the one he allegedly destroyed.

How do they tell the stressed ghost child that timeline he lived in ceased to exist?

*~*~*

Maybe I'm not clear enough but yeah. Phantom is from other timeline but as I heard, Dan shoved time medalion into Danny's chest so now our boi has wonky relationship with time. When Barry erased "wrong timeline", Danny got yote into his time and was confused. Like, one day he wakes up in the middle of the nowhere because of some shit and isn't even surprised at first but then realises something is off. Especially when he gets to the nearest town. Things are all sorts of wrong, like:

There is less ambient ectoplasm in the air.

Meme references are just not right.

There is no supernatural war.

Nobody is trying to post mortem murder him for being a ghost.

There are a lot more heroes and the ones he knew are different, like, why is Batman suddenly so much against killing?

So he goes of to find Amity and see which one's of the ghosts bullshit he has to clean up this time, only to see his city... Normal? Happy even? No broken pavements or anti ghost tech? No teenage stans? No alive food? His parents are more of the local handymen than mad scientists?! There is SECOND HIM, who isn't a ghost in the slightest?!

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AND HOW DOES HE FIX IT?!

Because yeah, this world seems nicer than real one, but he just can't stay here. Ghosts are probably wrecking havoc in his Amity again and he needs to get back now.

Just question is how, because it starts to look like whole new world and not some weird hallucination or Desiree doing her shit again. However so much things is similar that he assumes it's different timeline. He dealt with these before, once, but he managed. He just needed to find this Clockwork guy that showed up last time and learn what he has to do to fix it.

Wait, his parents here didn't made portal and Vlad didn't either because they're actually kind of trisome (ew) and he didn't have enough time. That's alright, Danny was raised in the shadow of the portal, he knew everything about it by heart. He could built it on his own.

Wait, portal needs and sacrifice. Can he use this world's himself as a sacrifice? He could probably ask these heroes for help but on the other hand he really doesn't want to do this to him. Being Phantom majorly sucks ass and he is jealous but he knows better than to destroy other his life over it.

Before he can resolve his dilemma, something he does pings Justice League's radar and Flash is send to investigate. Thank ancients it's him because allegedly other heroes wouldn't really get it. But it was Flash who somehow gets at least part of it, gives him a food and takes him to the space station (in space!). Now they have meeting about him and he has best view of stars he could ever imagine. Even though they're a little different than he remembers from back home.

.

Hope you enjoyed this little idea and maybe can add to the shenanigans. Comments and reblogs are whole yours.

I hope I'm englishing correctly and won't see too many spelling or grammatical mistakes when I wake up in the morning

Have a great whatever part of day it is to you

[theplanetprince]

Pick Your Poison || Invisobang 2022

Fic: AO3 || FNN

Fandom: Danny Phantom

Rating: Teens and Up

Word Count (approx): 38k~

Chapters: 5/5

Relationships:

Valerie Gray/Wes Weston (implied, one-sided)

Danny Fenton & Wes Weston

Dash Baxter & Wes Weston

Jazz Fenton & Danny Fenton

Characters:

Wes Weston

Kyle Weston

Valerie Gray

Dash Baxter

Danny Fenton

Jazz Fenton

Penelope Spectra

Additional Tags: Horror, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Morally Ambiguous Character, Poisoning, Poison, Mental Health Issues, Therapy, Really Bad Therapy, Paranoia, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Psychological Horror, Angst, Teenagers, Teen Angst, Gaslighting, Violence, High School, Bullying, One Shot, Blood and Injury, Animal Death, Origin Story, Not Fanon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Anxiety, Separation Anxiety, Family Drama, Family Feels, Villains, Bastardization Arc, Missing Persons, Danny Fenton is a Little Shit, Pretentious, Obsessive Behavior, Feral Behavior, Inspired by Music, Based on a The Front Bottoms Song, Song: I Ran (So Far Away) (A Flock of Seagulls), Inspired by Stephen King's IT, Inspired by Stranger Things (TV 2016), Song: Voodoo Magic (The Front Bottoms), Attempted Murder, Assault

Fic Summary: Grief has a way of changing people. Wes Weston's older brother going missing during the haunted house fire last year had changed him. His therapist would agree. Change isn't always for the better.

What hasn't changed are the countless questions Wesley was left with. Though some had more puzzling answers but answers nonetheless...

Could you kill a ghost?

And could Wes get away with it?

Author's Note: Thank you all to the lovely people who host @invisobang and who let me come back this year. I also wish to thank my lovely fic partner for this year @valpal5117 / @valpal5117-art! Go check out the artwork they've done for this piece, as well as everything else they post bc it's fantastic. I brought you all something a little different from my usual style, something a bit darker and a bit more spooky since the season is arriving. It's my first time writing Wes Weston, and I hope I've done this fan character some justice. Like last year I've included the link to my fic as well as the first chapter under the read more. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed making it! Thanks again! -Voorhees 🤟

Every morning Kyle would check the rat traps in the basement for his Dad. It wasn’t that he had strong feelings for the creatures, but he still winced at the idea of killing the poor things. It bothered him, but you get used to it, y’know? It wasn’t like he was a vegan or, god forbid, an ultra-recyclo-vegetarian. But death seemed so… permanent, for lack of a better word. It was such a severe punishment for the crime of just existing in a hostile environment. 

Then again, this is Amity Park. Death didn’t seem to stick here. 

It had been more than a year or so since they moved here, and with every passing minute, it felt like an eternity longer. Kyle, like any child, was apprehensive about transition, but when his father said they wouldn’t have to move again after their resettlement to Amity Park… he was more receptive to it. 

But then again, it’s Amity fucking Park. It had this habit of sucking all the good out. As soon as you step into the county boundary, it's like you forfeit all rights to happiness. 

At the bottom of the first-floor stairs, the sixth-grader had sleepily pulled on his socks. He hated going down there. The concrete floor was always so cold. It was like the ice resting on Lake Eerie. It was freezing and— it’d kill someone in this house to break out the broom. Rocks and shards of debris would lodge into his heel, and the youngest Weston would limp around the house. Kyle’s jaw popped as he yawned. The boy organized his choppy red hair into its natural cowlick before stuffing it into his ball cap. He got to his feet and shuffled towards the back of the house. The stairs creaked under his weight as he descended. The basement door caught a gust of wind and slammed against the wall, sending vibrations through the house. 

Damn, I hope I didn’t crack the wall. 

There was no arm rail for the stairs because this architectural nightmare was built before common sense. Kyle turned his head back from the light of the first floor, back into the blackness of the basement. He didn’t want to upset his Dad again.

See, this first year hadn’t been smooth sailing, if you managed to guess. Kyle’s brothers weren’t as ‘go-with-the-flow’ with the move. Or anything that came after. Kyle didn’t believe in conflict. He was the youngest; he was the baby of the family. He was the one who got the pat on the head for every single achievement; before, inevitably, the conversation shifted. It wasn’t his job to rock the boat. It was his job to be a good student, get the garbage out, and of course…

Go into the creepy-ass basement to check for rats that may or may not exist. 

See, Wes was the first one to see the rats. Or, more accurately, he saw the damage the rats did. Some chewed and frayed wires in the power box—things of that nature. 

…Wesley was a lot to unpack. Some would say. 

He was high-strung, had trouble letting things go, and, oh yeah, he kept seeing things that didn’t exist. That was the concerning part. At first, everyone wanted to shrug it off as a 'middle child' thing. That's before he started saying his classmates were… dead. Wes said one of his classmates had been replaced with a ghost. Then there were the weird phone calls at all hours of the night. The obsession with short radios and the police scanners that would buzz and burst to life randomly with noise. 

That’s what led to Kyle and Easton being dropped off at practices and games, while every other Thursday, they had to wave off their brother Wes in the parking lot of a therapist's office. Kyle had only been inside that building once. It didn’t smell like how a doctor’s office should, sterile, harsh, and chemical. Instead, it vaguely had the stench of coffee and cigarettes and was… overwhelmingly stale. It wasn’t a very ventilated place. There were hardly any windows except those in the private rooms where Wes would allegedly spend his allotted hour staring blankly out like he was in The Shawshank Redemption— effectively burning their father’s money.

The shrink— or rather, Ms Penelope, seemed really nice. Teetering on the edge of overkill. Kyle understood why his older brother would be reluctant to share anything with someone who appeared to be trying too hard to seem trustworthy rather than proving it. She didn’t seem too interested in Kyle’s issues per se; they spent their introductory session playing all manner of board games. Her office was plush. The couch was padded arm to arm with throw pillows, the kind with the fur on them. Not that the sixth-grader could get comfortable anyway. It may not have smelled like a regular doctor's office, but it sure was cold like one. What little hair he had on his arms stood on end with the chill. 

Kyle spent most of his appointment hunched over the coffee table, trying to rationalize in his head which colored 'Sorry!' pawn meant he had the least amount of mental disturbances. The idea behind the practice was to become emotionally vulnerable, but often that feeling overlapped with being completely exposed. Not that the middle schooler had anything to hide. Nothing out of the ordinary for a kid his age. 

Kyle would argue that he was the most well-adjusted in the family, including the two adults, in terms of who needed therapy and who didn't. Ms Penelope agreed and thought Kyle was quite mature beyond his years. However, that wasn’t the thing that stood out the most about that first and last session. Maybe it was something in his mannerisms or when Wes was brought up— perhaps it was what Kyle didn’t say. 

Penelope seemed to believe that Kyle was developing the early stages of SAD. Separation Anxiety Disorder. She said it was completely natural, given what he’s been through. Kyle didn’t like to be alone. Who did? What shocked him was that he didn’t refuse. There was no initial denial when the shrink laid it out like that. With her soft and educated voice, she had smoothed out her red pencil skirt, and lowered her cat-eye glasses to the bridge of her upturned nose. She just said it without any preamble; no fanfare at all. 

Who isn't anxious these days? In this economy? Have you seen where they live? 

Penelope had deduced effortlessly that Kyle used his humor to distance himself from his fear. The facade that took him twelve years to craft had been pierced. 

In even less time, she had come to the conclusion that the trigger for Kyle’s anxiety was… Wes. 

At once, Kyle had leaped to his older brother’s defense. Saying that, while Kyle may have been a bit… stressed , for lack of a less clinical term, Wes would have never done anything intentionally. 

That’s where she stopped him, her pen coming to a halt on her yellow notebook. Penelope dotted the end of her last sentence. Her eyes found him, then the cozy clutter of the office fell away. The maternal cadence dissolved into something cold and purely analytical. 

She told him, ‘The path to hell is paved with good intentions.’ 

Every morning Kyle would check the rat traps in the basement. 

The wooden stairs exhaled—Groaning with each step the youngest Weston landed. The water heater churned ominously. The grey floors were warped with age and stained with damage from times long gone. Kyle carefully found his way to the bottom and glanced up from his feet. He saw his brother now. Wes was hunched over the rat traps. He had one of his freckled hands inside like he was digging something out of it. 

Kyle cocked his head, still blurry with sleep, rubbing his eyes, “What’re you doin’?” 

Startling, Wes didn’t drop the metal box. Instead, the elder brother froze and stared up at his younger with bloodshot eyes. He didn’t answer right away. 

Clearing his throat, Wesley pulled his fist out of the plastic box. He explained, “I thought I’d check the traps for you. I know it's… it’s kinda gross.” 

Kyle let go of a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. He’d rather not look at something that small being dead. He asked, “Did we get’em this time?” 

Hesitant to answer, the elder moved the now closed box into the trash, “Ye-yeah. We did.” 

“Thank god.” Kyle scratched his forehead nervously, “Well, I mean, it sucks that it’s dead-dead, but…” 

Standing, Wes clapped a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, “It's just nature. Don’t feel too bad about it, ‘kay? If it wasn’t us, then it’d be a cat later or somethin’ else. They were already dead when they walked in here.” 

“I guess…” Kyle begrudged and leaned into his brother’s hand, taking him wholly at his word. It was effortless to believe him. Wes had a way with words. Y'know that was his nickname when they were younger; Wesley the wise. Then there was Kyle the kind, Easton the earnest, and Clay… 

Kyle winced. They weren’t supposed to talk about Clay. 

Awkwardly, the older turned and stuffed something into his backpack before zipping it up, “Hey, don’t get too bummed out, alright? It's still kind of early, so now you have extra time to stop by the corner store and get some doughnuts for breakfast.” He threw his bag over his shoulder, “Doesn’t that sound good?” 

Kyle rubbed his arms, sniffling, “Uh, yeah… chocolate milk with a maple bar… what’re you gonna get?” 

Mirroring his younger brother’s body language, Wes shook his head, “You can go on ahead of me; you're old enough.” 

“But Dad says—” 

Wesley cut him off, “What Dad doesn't know won’t kill him.” He extended his pinkie, “I promise.” 

Taking a step forward, Kyle wrapped his pinkie around his older brother’s; he nodded, “Alright. I’ll walk to school by myself.” 

“Get a move on! I wanna hear all about your solo excursions when I pick you up!” Wes coaxed his brother up the stairs and out of the basement, “Talk to some cute girls, put in a good word for me.” 

The conversation struck Kyle as odd. He couldn’t exactly put his finger on why. Maybe because Wes, for once, didn’t have to be dragged out of bed by his ankles. He seemed motivated. 

Then there was the second fact: Wes basically told him everything he wanted to hear. This wasn’t a conversation but the facsimile of one. Like there was a cue card Wes was reading just behind Kyle’s head. Somewhere out there, the same audience that got their kicks from Full House would be cracking up about this. 

He was pretending to be okay. 

Like with every rehearsed motion, the elder was telegraphing silently, ‘Look! Look at me! Look at how good I am! Aren’t I fixed now? Aren’t you proud of me?’ 

There was something quiet about his desperation to be accepted back into the flock. The family didn’t like to acknowledge their blackest sheep. It was almost like an unspoken rule. Wes’ appointments and his antics were written off and thrown under a huge rug. Less like he was a young adult approaching college and more like a precocious toddler or a rambunctious family pet that was resistant to discipline. After all, both of those options bite people unprovoked. 

Kyle could only wince through a smile. What was he supposed to do? He was just a kid, and as life liked to remind him at a near-constant pace— there was very little someone his age could contribute. So, he stays out of the way. What else could he do? 

“Uh…” He asked once more, knowing he wouldn’t enjoy the answer, “Are— Are you sure?” 

Wes silently tilted his head. He didn’t understand the rising fear in his younger brother’s voice. 

Kyle clarified, “Are you sure you don’t want to walk together?” 

“Don’t sweat it, bud. I won’t be late.” 

That was the furthest thing from what Kyle was worried about.

[dannyphantom-justiceleauge]

This may be a minor gripe but something that has kind of bothered me about discussions and depictions of Dan is how often people seem to forget that Dan isn't just an older evil Danny, he's a combination of Danny and Vlad's ghost sides. Like people always talk about him like Danny threw away his humanity and turned evil but that's not even true. Sure, we can say that Dan is the result of Danny's action but that's a little unfair. (1/2)

(2/2) Him cheating on a test, coincidentally putting his loved one's in a position where they could be killed, is absolutely not his fault. Letting Vlad take away his ghost powers with a strange contraption might not have been the smartest move, but we are talking about a grieving CHILD here, of course he isn't going to make the best decisions. If anything Vlad's the one to blame here, and even then, it's not like he could predict what happened

---

you aren't wrong, my friend. it really isn't entirely danny's fault and the whole 'if you cheat on a test, you'll loose everything you love' moral is confused at best. i think as fandom we find it more interesting to look at danny's potential evil and moral struggle with himself. so simplifying it to be dan is a worse case scenario of danny makes the conflict less abstract.

particularly because when it comes to self blame danny isn't going to go easy on himself just because it was excusable mistakes.

i think another talking point should be how danny is the target of the time assassination more than vlad is, even though vlad is part of the evil whole. you could argue that danny is the catalyst of his friends death and vlad inventing the claw things. but vlad invented the claw things. maybe because his human side survived and acted relatively harmless from then on? or maybe it's because the observants based on the available evidence recognized danny as more of a threat. i think that fits actually, for all vlad tried to be an evil mastermind, his achievements outside of terrorizing a teenager and theft isn't particularly impressive. danny was the one who got shit done. all his fights he finished one way or another and i could see how that would bleed into dan defeating everyone.

the real question is how to we fix this. ideally we could shape this idea so it's less confused, though i do honestly find the dynamic of half danny, half vlad interesting. if for not other reason. than two half ghosts make a whole. actually that's something else to be said about dan. his self-loathing is what led him to killing his human half, another negative aspect coming from danny.

i wonder if we could frame it like fusion, from su. obviously dan isn't stable or healthy, or based on love. he's most comparable to malichite. but with less internal debate. dan took the best and worst of both of them. danny's determination, danny's fighting ability, danny's anger, danny's sarcasm, vlad's anger, vlads lack of morals, vlads schemes, vlad's control. heck, vlads desire to rule the world. i don't think we ever got that from danny.

maybe if vlad was more involved in the fight with dan it could have been used as an opportunity to compare and contrast their characters. to go we're not so different you and i. danny gets to recognize that he has that dark potential. vlad gets to be humbled by the fact that what he wants isn't good for anyone, especially himself. and to be fair, we do see some of that humbling with future vlad, but none of that character growth is given to present vlad, so, really it's just another vehicle for danny angst. it also depends on what you want to do with vlad though. he's a fascinating character and could be given redemption under the right circumstances or be a character who has the opportunity for redemption but chooses not to be redeemed every time.

that fits him and makes him both a more pathetic and despicable villain. it's hard to pity someone who ignores the opportunities to heal and grow.

as for danny, he becomes far more aware of the consequences his actions, especially his selfish and cruel ones can have. because that potential was always there. he has a history of abusing his powers. perhaps for this specific incident him abusing his powers can be something less understandable than almost cheating on a test that he couldn't study for through no fault of his own. (maybe i just have flexible morals?). maybe it could be something more character relevant, like he did something particularly vlad like, maybe he set up a prank at the nasty burger to get dash but it set off the explosion that killed his family. or maybe he did something particularly cruel and manipulative. there are better catalysts than a test. either way he recognized that he should never go that far again and strive to avoid being actively cruel.

he also has the opportunity to recognize that vlad does have a human half, even the one he's fighting everyday. he can face some conflict in it's not entirely clear what trait belongs to vlad and what trait belongs to him. he can empathize with vlad and he can recognize that situations aren't always in black in white. those who fly the highest, fall the hardest, after all.

it can be a growing experience. and while making it solely a danny goes bad and learns not to do evil kind of story. maybe we could cut vlad from the equation and just have danny face himself, full evil refection. i think exploring both vlad and danny through this fusion is far more interesting. especially because we can build on what's revealed about vlad in these episodes, in later ones. danny sees a future where vlad chills and that maybe his vlad could get their. later he see vlads past and what he lost to become who he is.

and then there's vlads turning point episodes. i don't know when motherly instinct took place but maddie fully recognizing he's a bastard and rejection him, was a turning point for his sanity, and danny helped it along. then we have danny rejecting him repeatedly, then we the clone episode, which we can all agree was a desperate move on his part, that danny once again thwarted. and we can all agree that this was the cannon turning point for his character where he stopped fighting for a family and started trying to be danny's villain. in that episode, i think danny could potentially pity vlad enough to try and reach out. he's not going to justify what vlad did and he's not going to apologize for stopping him. he went too far. he hurt danny and dani, he crossed a moral line that can't be justified even with his desperation. but if he changes...

he lost this time but if he changes, maybe they'll reach the point where they're ready to accept him.

i think the same thing could be said about his relationship with jack and maddie. if he changes, if he reaches out. if acts like less of a crazy fruitloop, his friends would be there for him. jack is still trying to be there for him, even if he's being oblivious about vlad's faults. vlads the one driving wedges into his relationships and pushing everyone away.

and that's so freaking human and understandable.it would be such a cool thing to explore with his character.

i could also see a potential arc where after valerie finds out vlad and masters are the same person she tries to get close to him, both to sus out how evil he is and to understand him as a halfa. afterall danny got her to acknowledge dani as human enough, the same would apply to vlad/plasmius, right? only he's a bad person and the more she uncovers about vlad masters the man, the more she realizes it's not the ghost half that's evil. but this is a double edged sword because, vlad is getting attached to her and encouraging her to be more evil. he's encouraging her to go darker and darker in her fight against ghosts and her fight specifically against phantom. to the point where she finally draws the line and says, i'm not doing that! boom exploring the moral ambiguity of her character and getting her to take a hard stance on her morals, because there's a line too far for her.

and boom a further breakdown of vlads character because he finally had someone outside the fentons to redeem him. she could have helped pull him out of the hole he'd been digging himself into. she wanted to help him. he got attached to her, but he and his bad decisions decided to dig himself deeper instead. so once again he's 'abandoned and betrayed'.

from that point, i think it'd be time for him to finally face jack head on. not through manipulative schemes. not through veiled threats and insults. but the full confrontation of 'i always hated you. you ruined my life. you're the reason i lost everything'. which is really just his own self loathing speaking. and jack... empathetic jack can see that vlad desperately wants help. and jack would offer it to him. jack would try to hug it out and apologize and give vlad the love and friendship vlad's been fighting to steal this whole time.

and vlad would reject it.

he'd probably lash out a jack and go into a full breakdown/world destroying attack. could finally put the stolen crown to use and try declaring himself king and embracing his megalomaniac thing and actually be a threat this time. and THAT would be our series finally. everyone teaming up to fight 'king vlad'. danny probably finding out that he's technically king because he beat pariah dark but the matter being a bit confused because he had help. val and danny trying to find the ring of rage or at least find someone who can make one. secrets are out. i imagine vlad, upon revealing himself to jack would out danny to make danny as sad and alone as him. except nope, his family still loves him and val has had the character development to come around to him. (she's still gonna punch danny for lying for so long.) the ghosts will come and help because no one wants another tyrannical kind and vlads obviously off his rocker.

ah, the could have beens

anyway, i didn't mean for this to become a full vlad character analysis and rewrite when we were supposed to be talking about dan, but hey, i'm a simple creature. i like good writing, and i have to rewrite things myself, so be it. - Hestia

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis is a series that looks at villains across various media in the hopes of coming to something of a consensus on the overall quality of the character. Are they performed well? Do they enrich the narrative? Are their motives fleshed out? Are they voiced by Tim Curry and thus a sex icon? 

There are a lot of important questions that I look into, but ultimately, Psycho Analysis boils down to asking one simple little question: How bad can a character be?

Thankfully, there’s one villain who decided to answer that question for me... in song form.

Psycho Analysis: The Once-ler

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Yeah, I’m finally talking about everyone’s favorite greedy bastard who, back in some of the darkest days of Tumblr history, ended up being the premier sexyman on the website. People were thirsting over this twiggy weirdo, acting as if he were God’s gift to women and shipping him with alternate versions of himself. Much like the movie he’s from, he is now incredibly hard to take seriously.

But hey, speaking of alternate versions of himself, I’m going to be covering him from the original book and the animated short film as well. Might as well just knock it all out of the park at once, right? Now let’s see how ba-a-a-ad this guy can be.

Motivation/Goals: The Once-ler is all about biggering. He’s making thneeds (things that everyone needs) and he is gonna stop at nothing to craft these things. Not even the power of the Lorax, Danny DeVito or otherwise, is going to stay his hand from getting that sweet, soft Truffula fluff to make his wares. This is ultimately a little unrealistic, at least for the Illumination version; if Danny DeVito asked me not to do something, I’d listen, no questions asked.

Performance: In the animated special, Bob Holt does double duty, as he is portraying both Once-ler and the title character. It works really well for what they’re going for, and the double casting is interesting because it highlights the ultimate role of the Lorax as the Once-ler’s conscience given form.

In the film, Ed Helms portrays the Once-ler, and he’s fine. He’s certainly better casting than Audrey, but that’s not particularly saying much considering that’s a non-singing Taylor Swift (when Cats is able to utilize Taylor Swift better than your musical, you know there’s trouble). I don’t know, Ed Helms is fun and all, but I’m just not sure his take on the Once-ler is all too compelling overall.

Final Fate: In the original book and the special, the Once-ler wins… but even he realizes it’s a terrible, pointless victory, and all he has achieved is ruin, his family leaving him, his business ultimately collapsing, and the environment permanently damaged. He’s left as a miserable, jaded hermit, broken by the bleak consequences his greedy actions have sown upon the world and only able to tell his story and pass on the last Truffula seed in the hopes that maybe, maybe someday the trees can regrow and the Lorax will return. The Illumination version follows this but then tacks on a happy ending  where the Lorax and Once-ler reunite because as we know ambiguity and bittersweet endings cannot exist in children’s films.

Best Scene: Obviously it’s the scene where he shakes his ass to seduce Jack Frost, in one of the greatest gay romances ever put to film.

Joking aside, it is undoubtedly his villain song. It has become such a meme, but real talk? “How Bad Can I Be” slaps. This is a really good song, probably too good for the movie but you know what, I’ll take it.

Best Quote: HOW BA-A-A-AD CAN I BE? Yes, I’m using a line from his villain song. Sue me.

Final Thoughts & Score: What can one really say about the movie version of the Once-ler that hasn’t already been run into the ground? Well, how about… He’s not too bad, honestly? Like, yes, he has next to nothing to do with his book counterpart and they really go way too far into trying to make a capitalist pig sympathetic… but the animated special from the 70s did that too. I think the Once-ler honestly works better when there is a dash of complexity to him and he isn’t just a simple-minded Captain Planet villain.

Of course, the issue here is that the 70s version took a simpler approach, kind of less is more. The 70s Once-ler brings up some valid points to the Lorax about his work, and the Lorax can’t help but agree that there’s no easy answer while also stressing that the environmental devastation is still really, really bad. It works, it feels complex, and it arguably helps the ultimate point that we need to protect the environment better than even the book did (and I love the book, don’t get me wrong, but its take on the Once-ler is a bit too simple for its own good; it almost runs into the Femme Fatale problem by being a bit too much of a strawman). The movie version has a bit too much going on, especially with his family. His family are much more blatantly evil, greedy, and manipulative, but they’re relegated to the background for much of the film and don’t effect things all that much. The whole narrative would have been infinitely stronger if they were the greater scope villains behind Once-ler and were who needed to be defeated and maybe taught a lesson, but instead they are ignored in favor of someone I’ll address very shortly.

All of this leaves movie Once-ler feeling extremely disjointed, but not irredeemably so. As I said before, his villain song is unironically awesome, and as lame as it is compared to the more haunting, contemplative ending of the book and the special, I’m not so much of a curmudgeon that I didn’t at least smile when he finally reconciled with the Lorax. Ultimately though, him being memed to death really didn’t help his case, but it means I’m not giving the movie version anything less than a 3/10. He might in fact be the best “so bad it’s good” villain ever, or at least up there. He’s just so undeniably enjoyable even if the narrative isn’t making him as complex as it thinks it is. The animated special version gets a 9/10, the book version is a 7/10, and the Once-ler’s family gets a 5/10 for being an interesting concept they sadly do little with, which will now be elaborated on as I follow up on the foreshadowing from the last paragraph...

Psycho Analysis: Aloysius O’Hare

Remember how I said the Once-ler’s family gets ignored in favor of someone else? Here he is, Aloysius O’Hare, one of the absolute lamest villains ever put to screen.

Motivation/Goals: He’s greedy. That’s it. I’m not kidding. He’s just a cartoonish caricature of a rich person, which still makes him a realistic portayal but also makes him boring as sin compared to the wacky dude with a big musical number about how bad he can be.

Performance: Rob Riggle does a decent job, but there’s really not much for him to work with here. This character is a cardboard cutout who exists to be as cartoonishly greedy and evil as possible with no nuance so the kids know who to root against and so that Once-ler doesn’t look bad in comparison.

Final Fate: Look, he’s a blatantly evil corporate villain in a kid’s movie about the environment. Of course he gets defeated and everyone turns on him. What’s especially funny though is that, on the brink of learning his lesson, he rejects any form of redemption and just goes whole hog on being a villain.

Best Scene: I will absolutely give him this: in the face of his ultimate defeat, after having the virtues of trees sung to him and the entire town turning on him, he for a moment contemplates turning over a new leaf… and then absolutely rejects the thought and instead decides being evil is just too much fun, at which point he tries to get everyone back on his side by seeing a funny little song about death while wavedashing. If more shitty villains did this, I don’t think there would be shitty villains.

Best Quote: LET IT DIE, LET IT DIE, LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIE! Yes I’m quoting a song again.

Final Thoughts & Score: Look, I’m not gonna mine words here: O’Hare sucks. Big time. He is a prime example of why The Lorax failed as an adaptation. In a story that is dealing with a moral grayness with no easy answers, O’Hare is just a big, blatant target, a dark shade of black in terms of black-and-white morality. He’s like a reject Captain Planet villain with Edna Mode’s haircut.

The movie would have been infinitely better if, instead of him, the Once-ler’s family were in control of the town, and they needed to learn the lesson about saving the trees instead of simply vanishing from the story. They were shown to be overbearing, manipulative, and greedy, and they had a much more personal connection with Once-ler being, you know, his actual family. The fact they abandon him and never really get any sort of comeuppance despite being perhaps the most evil people in the move, egging on Once-ler and taking full advantage of him, makes O’Hare all the more egregious, because there could have been some strong thematic elements that would have tied the film together and made it come off as much less preachy and more nuanced.

But we don’t live in a world where that happened, we live in a world where we got O’Hare. Aside from some genuine hilarity from him at the end, O’Hare really adds very little to the film. I gotta give him a 2/10, but I will say he’s a lot closer to a 3 than he is to a 1; there’s no denying his absolute rejection of learning a moral is absolutely hilarious. I love when villains do that. It’s just a shame those funny moments are wrapped up in something monumentally unimpressive.

[annapogorilayas]

LoD season 3 rewatch Thoughts

kate's undercover had no right to be so successful this season, she was about as subtle as a fire extinguisher through a glass office door brick through a window. it's hilarious to me that on paper, this was her best undercover op - it was the only one in the show's history where nobody figured it out!

it blows my mind every time i remember that danny waldron was only in one episode of the show. one. he's easily one of the most important non-trio characters. and he was in one episode. his influence to episode count ratio is up there with jackie lav's.

this was really the first season where the AC-12 office itself became a character. won't elaborate

ted saying "none of my people would ever plant evidence" while dot was running around putting phones in steve's gym bag is almost as funny as steve saying "this'll be good for me" before AC-12 thoroughly ruined his life

"the jury obviously thinks i must've shagged you into conspiring to kill a protected witness" "steven!" everything about the Truth and Reconciliation scene in 3x04 is absolutely A fucking star.

dot's line about how steve shouldn't be carrying a firearm because "this isn't the bronx" is funny as fuck in light of later seasons, when this mid-sized midlands town appears to have a violent crime rate on par with baltimore in the 90s

lindsay denton continues to be the GOAT. "because i'm a police officer" is, without question, my favourite scene in the whole show. i'm still emo about the fact that nobody went to her funeral. AC12 would be nowhere without her. her ghost would've been a better AC12 commanding officer than S5 Ted.

the repeated references to the real-life operation midland didn't age too well. (cw child sexual abuse)

i loved the scenes with lindsay and steve investigating danny's list. they are the dysfunctional buddy cop duo we deserve.

i wasn't expecting to laugh out loud in 3x06 and then we had individual reaction shots of everyone in steve's interview listening to the lindsay tape. even the lawyer.

i'm still not sure what exactly made kate clock dot's involvement. i'm torn on whether she went to AC-3 for undercover authorisation purely because the CO was a woman (and therefore not a mason, because she was investigating ted) or if she went there because AC-9 was dot's former unit and she was investigating him. we know she was suspicious of dot before lindsay's murder because she went to his flat and he saw he wasn't there. i'm tempted to think she was suspicious of all three of them; hastings was being oddly friendly and doing masonic handshakes with fairbanks, she just found out steve had lied about his involvement with lindsay which destroyed her trust in him, and dot failed to pass on her request for the second post-mortem and then pressured her not to look further into morton's statement about the caddy while pointing the finger at steve.

CW: child sexual abuse every time steve interviews someone about the sands view child abuse, we get long lingering shots of steve's expression. and then when steve visits dale roach in the home he's angrier than i think we've ever seen him with a suspect - same again three seasons later when steve interviews fairbank in prison. does anyone else wonder if jed was leaving crumbs to imply steve was abused or that there's something in steve's past that makes this a particularly difficult issue for him? on one hand, steve tells joe he had a nice childhood with a loving family. OTOH, when steve gets worked up about a case, it's usually because it has a personal connection to his own past (he got quite worked up about danny waldron's team lying to cover up the shooting of an unarmed man, and he was very determined to prove michael farmer was being framed)

it's "moaning about the trajectory of the writing" time:

as much as i think S3 was part of the LoD Golden Age, it was definitely the beginning of the end of the more authentic dialogue and rapport between characters. the trend of the season premieres being full of extremely clunky exposition began here also. aaaaand just as i wrote that, maneet appeared and made her charming little "get you a lead" joke. miss you babe </3

in my opinion, LoD at its most interesting was never about "which of these four characters is The Bad Guy?" it was about "how is this guilty but morally ambiguous person going to deal with the mess they've gotten into?" i feel like we gradually saw less and less of that as the show moved towards a traditional whodunnit with the introduction of balaclava man and H.

S3 really was Peak Ted for me; S5 and S6 sadly made me forget how much i loved his character. his "whole bloody barrel" speech to gill in 3x06 remains another one of my favourite moments on the show.

S3 was the peak of Kate the Brilliant Detective, just like S2 was the peak of Kate the Emotion-Having Human Being.

[ao3feed-izuku-midoriya]

The Crazy Inventor, the Timekeeping Boy, and the Bird Trying to Keep the from Accidentally Killing Themselves

The Crazy Inventor, The Timekeeping Boy, And The Bird Trying To Keep The From Accidentally Killing Themselves by Monkeygirl77

"The Observants look at time like they are watching a parade: one thing after another, passing by in a sequence right in front of them. I see the parade from above, all the twists and turns that it might, or might not, take."

~Clockwork, Danny Phantom

Words: 4550, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Kurogiri, Nishiya Shinji | Kamui Woods, Sasaki Mirai | Sir Nighteye, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Shinsou Hitoshi, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Todoroki Shouto, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Todoroki Touya, Todoroki Rei, Shirakumo Oboro, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Iida Tensei | Ingenium, Akaguro Chizome | Stain, U.A. Faculty, Pro Heroes, Nedzu, Hatsume Mei, Class 1-A, Hero Public Safety Commission, Hero Public Safety Commission President, Tsukauchi Naomasa, Bakugou Katsuki

Relationships: Midoriya Izuku & Nishiya Shinji | Kamui Woods, Midoriya Izuku & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Midoriya Izuku & Nedzu, Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi, Midoriya Izuku & Sasaki Mirai | Sir Nighteye, Midoriya Izuku & Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Tokoyami Fumikage, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Enji | Endeavor & Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Rei, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Touya, Akaguro Chizome | Stain & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Everyone, Midoriya Izuku & Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Kurogiri & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Shirakumo Oboro, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Shirakumo Oboro, Shirakumo Oboro & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight & Shirakumo Oboro, Iida Tensei | Ingenium & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & U.A. Faculty, Midoriya Izuku & Pro Heroes, Class 1-A & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko & Midoriya Izuku, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku, Hero Public Safety Commission & Midoriya Izuku, Hero Public Safety Commission & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Midoriya Izuku & Tsukauchi Naomasa, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku & Takami Keigo | Hawks

Additional Tags: Powerful Midoriya Izuku, Time Quirk (My Hero Acadamia), Time Travel, Sort Of, No actual travelling thru time, More like looking through time, Izuku's quirk is kind of like Nighteyes, but not really, At the same time, Its way different, But same in a small way, Chronokenisis, Midoriya Izuku Has a Quirk, Bakugo katsuki is a bully, Bakugou Katsuki Faces Consequences, eventually, Morally Ambiguous Midoriya Izuku, You know Clockwork from Danny Phantom?, izuku is clockwork, Dead Midoriya Inko, Izuku knew from a young age he wasn't going to have his mom all his life, He knew he'd lose her very soon, Found Family, Izuku is well known among the hero community, Izuku wearing a purple beanie, Izuku going by Izuku, Midoriya is too upsetting for him, It makes him think of his mom, Protective Takami Keigo | Hawks, Parental Takami Keigo | Hawks, Papa Hawks, Izuku has the biggest found family in the world, Hero Public Safety Commission Bashing, The Hero Commission is terrified of Izuku, Protective Midoriya Izuku, Hawks is Izuku's favorite hero, He does not approve of how the Commission treats him, Midoriya Izuku is a Little Shit, Midoriya Izuku is a Problem Child, Midoriya Izuku & Nedzu Friendship, Hatsume Mei is a Good Friend, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku are Best Friends, They make babies together, Fucking with time, general fuckery, Time Shenanigans, Shirakumo Oboro Lives, Kurogiri is Shirakumo Oboro, Izuku fixing things, Because everything is wrong, everything is so wrong, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is Not a Villain, He has a complicated backstory, Izuku fixes him, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko Needs a Hug, Sensei | All For One Being an Asshole, Mentioned Sensei | All For One, Izuku calls All For One out on his bullshit, Older Sibling Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, All For One brainwashed Shigaraki, Smart Shigaraki, Izuku knows Pro Heroes, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Parental Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Parental Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Parental Kurogiri, Parental Shirakumo Oboro, Parental Tsukauchi Naomasa, Protective all of the above, Yagi Toshinori | All Might is a Bad Teacher, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Idiot, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Asshole, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing, I'm not a fan of All Might, Izuku does not like All Might, Shinsou Hitoshi is in Class 1-A, Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi Friendship, Protective Shinsou Hitoshi, Cute Midoriya Izuku, Everyone Loves Midoriya Izuku, Everyone is worried for Midoriya Izuku, Protective Class 1-A, Class 1-A as Family, Ticklish Midoriya Izuku, everyone knows this, He tries to be hard to get, but he's not, Everyone gets him, Izuku needs to laugh, Poor baby's been thru so much, Izuku agrees with Stain's ideals, Just not his execution, Murder is never the answer, Hero Killer Stain Arc, Parental Akaguro Chizome | Stain, Izuku and Stain talk, Izuku saves Tensei, Izuku follows Iida when he goes after Stain, Izuku is not a fan of Sir Nighteye, The Future isn't set in stone, Midoriya Izuku Needs A Hug, Don't worry, he gets lots of hugs, lots and lots, all the hugs, Izuku is a very tactile person, He craves physical attention, physical affection, its okay, He gets everything he needs, Mei is a badasss, Lots of explosions, Mei and Izuku are siblings, Hawks is trying to keep them from accidentally killing themselves, So much exasperation

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29651430

[thealphabetmurders]

The Guys Who Didn’t Like (Modern Day) Musicals

3.3k words | AO3 Link | warnings: swearing, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Remus angst, Remus-typical language and themes

Janus knows that one day his soulmate and himself will be happy, and their love story would be a great and wonderful one... And yet if he has to hear "Freeze Your Brain" playing one more time, his soulmate may not live to see their wedding night.

(Or when your soulmate listens to music or is singing, you hear it in your own head as well.)

***

Janus was on his very last nerve. Sure, wanting to strangle your soulmate was a bit morally frowned upon, however when the song of his nightmares plays for the 4th time that day, he believes anyone would agree that those lines blur to the morally ambiguous side of things. 

Attempting to hold his composure, he waited until they were out of the lecture hall and in Virgil’s car to punch the dashboard with all his might, throwing his beanie off into the backseat, collapsing into his knees, wanting to scream. 

“Jesus Christ, Jay, what the fuck was that?” Virgil stared at his friend with wide eyes, wanting to place his hand down on Janus’ back, comfortingly, but decided against it once he analyzed the outburst, instead keeping his eyes on the road as he pulled out of the parking lot toward their shared dorm.

Janus didn’t respond, just gripped his ears as if that would make the music stop or deafen it. It didn’t, of course, seeing as it was literally in his head. 

“Just play something,” 

“J-” 

“Do it Virgil!” Janus snapped, and Virgil hit the volume button on his car, loud music from a pop punk band he did not recognize played loudly through the car speakers. The noise deafened in his head, and Janus leaned back in his seat sighing, he turned his head towards the driver, “Thank you, Virgil,” He turned his attention towards the road, sighing, before looking up at the ceiling, smirking, “Yeah, you like that, fucker? You make me listen to your shitty pop songs, now you got trash emo in your head,” 

Virgil scoffed, “Trash emo? I promise you Yellowcard is good, they have a violin, I am sure you like that with your jazz weirdness,” 

Rubbing his knuckles, Janus rolled his eyes, “Oh yes, I am sure it is used practically and it is not just a gimmick,” Virgil fell silent and Janus smirked, knowing he had won, “Apologies for my earlier, er, outburst. It is just simply so frustrating that this stupid song has been playing so much for so long,” 

“The smoothie one?” 

“Pretty sure 7-Eleven doesn’t sell smoothies, I think it is a slushie.” Janus stared out the window as Virgil’s playlist rolled to a different song, the lyrics still biting his brain with a dull ache, “Lyrics are so meaningless.” He muttered, “Freeze your brain, suck on that straw, get lost in the pain,” Janus mocked the singer bitterly, a short laugh following, “What kind of lyrics even are though. So shallow and meaningless…” 

“Wait, Freeze Your Brain, that’s from Heathers!” 

Both Virgil and Janus let out a scream that was a much higher pitch than either of them would care to admit. The car swerved over into the next lane, but Virgil corrected it once he regained his composure. 

“By the way, here is your hat back, Jannie,” Remus smiled with his pearly whites on display, acting as though he was doing the pair a service and didn’t almost kill all 3 of them by startling the driver with his unknown presence. 

“Remus! What the fuck- where did you come from,” Virgil yelled, gripping the steering wheel, knuckles white and face red with anger. 

“Well I had abnormal psych earlier in the East-” 

“It’s a figure of speech, dumbass!” Janus said sternly. 

Remus nodded, smiling, “Well, I am in your backseat of course. I got done with my classes about 15 minutes before you and didn’t feel like waiting for a bus in the cold and then walking and then my roommate getting mad at me about the snow on the floor and then us having a fight and then I have to sleep on the sidewalk again which is actually more comfortable than my acu-” 

“How did you even get in here?” Virgil growled, still obviously not over the shock of someone being in his backseat unexpectedly. 

“Door was unlocked,” 

“Sure as fuck wasn’t!” Virgil shook his head, laughing in a way that was scary to watch. The kind of laugh that a serial killer does right before ending the life of their prey. 

“Virgil, shush, Remus what were you sa-” 

Virgil scoffed, “No, Janus you shut up before I shut you up. Remus,” Virgil turned around to face his friend, anger in his eyes, and this was the first time Remus’ expression had faltered, “You don’t get to break into my car, you do not get to break into my dorm, and you don’t get to break into the breakroom at my job, or so help me God I will rearrange all of the uses of your orifices, ‘kay?” 

Remus sighed, resting his hand in his chin, “Are you sure we’re not soulmates?” His voice steeped in adoration.

Virgil opened his mouth to respond, bit his lip and shook his head, opting not to answer. Exasperated, but a little more calm. 

Janus waited a few more moments, making sure the coast was clear from any further outbursts before turning to Remus, “Anyway… My soulmate is listening to what?” 

“Oh,” Remus clapped his hands together, “Freeze Your Brain from Heathers the Musical.” 

Janus rolled his eyes, looking at Virgil, “Oh, wonderful, my soulmate like modern day musicals, just what I needed,” 

“You listen to Hamilton,” Virgil grunted.

“Hamilton is the most popular musical in the world, most likely what revived the entire modern day musical scene, it would be more shocking if Janny hadn’t listened to it,” Remus pointed out, helpfully, resting his chin on the back of Janus’ seat. 

Virgil frowned, lazily flipping his turn signal,  “Why do you know so much about theater, Reme, that isn’t exactly your scene,” 

“Yea, isn’t your favorite band-” 

“Ninja Sex Party,” Virgil finished. 

This caught Remus’ attention, he perked up in his seat and clapped his hands together, wiggling with excitement in the back seat, “Ooh yes! Danny Sexbang is fucking delicious. He makes me want to strangle an ox with my bare hands!” Remus made a gripping motion before quickly putting a finger up to his ear and closed his eyes, “Nobody showed but I'm gonna have some fun, let's get this party started it's an orgy for one, it’s me and my h-”

“Remus!” Janus cut off Remus’ singing with a clap, “I need you to focus. Whilst we all love your singing,” He side-eyed Virgil with this comment, who looked at him but said nothing, “I would like to know about your aptitude for theater knowledge,” 

“Because of the soulmate thing, right you don’t actually care about why I know so much?” Remus said, uncharacteristically seriously. 

Both Virgil and Janus felt the guilt and discomfort settle over the car. Janus laughed awkwardly to save face, “O-of course not, Remus, we like to know your thoughts and interests and-” 

Remus started cackling, “I know Janny, I’m just messing with you. If you guys didn’t like me, Black Parade over there wouldn’t have let me talk to him for 3 hours about John Wayne Gacey on Sunday,” Janus quirked an eyebrow up at Virgil who had a slight blush on his cheeks, keeping himself very focused on the road, “Anyway, my twin’s nuts for musical theater, it is all he would talk about growing up, and now he is in a production of Heathers and he will not shut up about it,” 

“Not shutting up must run in the family,” Virgil muttered, shaking his head. 

A devious smirk was plastered on Remus’ lips. “I am sure you can think of a couple ways to get me to shut up, princess,” 

Virgil gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, and Janus didn’t even want to know what was running through his friend’s head, “So, this play-” 

“Musical,” 

“Whatever. My soulmate is listening to it?” Janus frowned. He was concerned, but a little relieved. There have been countless stories of people having to learn a different language because the native tongue doesn’t match what music is in their soulmate’s head. Happened enough that he gets shitty Facebook adverts for language classes, specifically for soulmate related reasons. 

“Seems that way. Actually, our uni’s theater is putting it on, that’s where my brother is performing it. Do you think maybe…” Remus trailed off, quirking up an eyebrow. 

Janus frowned, thinking, “It is possible, yes. Do you think your brother would mind if we sat in on his rehearsals?”

Remus smiled, “Not at all, he loves the attention, I am sure if we go now we’ll be able to catch the end,” 

Virgil groaned, parking the car at their dorm, “So, you’re telling me we just got back to our dorm and now you want me to leave and drive all the way back?” 

“Better punch it Emo Alfred, love is on the line!” Remus ruffled the back of Virgil’s hair who smacked him away, pulling out of the parking lot and driving back towards campus. 

Virgil and Remus began bickering with one another like children , but Janus was not paying much attention to them, he was trapped in his own thoughts. His calm demeanor as he stared out the window of the passenger sat did not match the nervous energy coursing through his body. The music played loudly through Virgil’s car speakers but there was still a dull rhythm in his head where his soulmate's music was still playing. 

 Maybe Janus’ soulmate would hate him. He was not exactly a fan of musicals (plays being more his speed, though he has never been one to be confined to the stage to have a flair for the dramatics), which is a red flag, seeing as that is mainly what his soulmate listens to. What if they are destined to hate one other? What if throughout the great expanses of time and space, the strings of fate connected their two selves just because it would be on sight any time they make eye contact (the homoeroticism of that is not lost on Janus, though he would be an even bigger liar if made himself believe that he did not want a romantic relationship). 

“Jan, we are here,” Virgil put a tentative hand on Janus’ shoulder after he turned the car off. Someone less timid than himself may have jumped, but he was better trained than that, so he simply looked at Virgil, nodding, before exiting the car. 

Shoving his beanie on over his ears and shoving his hands in his coat pocket, he walked with purpose towards the theater, head down and feet hitting hard against the ground, lightly dusted with snow. 

“Remus why- fuck- why do you never talk about your brother?” Virgil pulled his hoodie closer around his middle, the light material not made for weather in the negatives. 

Remus wordlessly pulled off his coat, throwing it over Virgil shoulders, “Same reason you don’t hear me constantly talking about Kanye West: insufferable egomaniacs do not really need any more attention,” He spat out like venom. “Besides, don’t want you to abandon me once you meet Roman because he is just perfect,” He laughed like normal but no one could ignore the intent behind his words. Virgil and Janus side eye’d one other, never hearing Remus speak so seriously. 

Janus swallowed thickly, “Y’know, Remus, we do not even know if Roman is my soulmate. We do not have to go meet him, it is honestly not that important to me,” 

Skipping up the steps, Remus grabbed the doors to the theater, holding it open to his two friends. He snorted at Janus' comment, pulling off his hat and messing up his hair, “Liar,” Essentially ending the debate in a very short, very Remus way. 

The entrance to the auditorium was modest and did not have many decorations. The area is mainly filled with old posters advertising previous shows, as well as accolades for the directors and actors, the newer ones stating a couple familiar names. Virgil and Janus looked at the posters for a little bit before they were summoned by the twin. 

He followed the two towards a side door that opened up backstage. It was dark, but Janus could just make out Virgil pushing his sleeves over his hands, biting his thumbnail. Janus shrugged off his coat, setting it down on a nearby table and fiddled with his winter gloves, beginning to get an uneasy feeling as well. 

“Not to be that guy,” Virgil said in a low voice, grabbing onto Janus’ bicep, “But do you seem to get the feeling we are not supposed to be here?” 

Janus hummed, “I think we are incredibly welcome. Why else would we have to sneak through the back and creep around in the dark?” 

“Remus, why ex- Wait, where is Remus,” Virgil asked in a hushed whisper. 

“Brother!!” Was yelled, followed by a crashing sound. Janus and Virgil looked at each other before rushing towards the noise, finding themselves on a set that looked like a convenience store. Janus saw a girl with short black hair standing near them, looking at the pair confused and Remus on the ground on top of another body. 

“Remus!” The figure pushed Remus off of him before scrambling to stand up. Janus' heart stopped. 

“Oh,” He thought to himself, before praying to any Gods above that might exist, “Please don’t make Remus get us kicked out,” 

The man who Janus cleverly deduced was Roman brushed off his black pants (now covered with sawdust) and ran a hand through his hair, which matched Remus black curls but seemed to be actually styled. Roman held out a hand to Remus who took it, but instead of standing up, pulled Roman back down onto the ground with him. 

Someone towards the front of the stage cleared their throat and sighed, “Salutations once again, Remus. Why do we… Let’s take a 10,” The man sighed, adjusting his glasses before making a sharp exit leaving just the 4 of them on stage. 

“By the grace of Poseidon above, Remus, what exactly did I say about coming to my rehearsals unannounced,” 

Remus tapped his chin, playing with the stubble, thinking, “That I can come anytime and do whatever I want?” 

“No. To not to. Very simple. Just don’t,” Roman sighed standing up, tentatively offering his hand out to Remus again, with a pained expression. Remus’ expression softened as he took Roman’s hand, standing up slightly…. Before falling onto his backside again, taking Roman with him again.

Roman groaned as Remus cackled wildly, “Jeez, are you sure you are the one who got a scholarship, or did they confuse us again?” 

Running a hand through his hair, Roman stood up before backing away like a frightened animal, “It was a theater scholarship, thank you, not a scholarship to avoid being tricked by my tormented, tirisome twin. How did you even get in here... again?” 

“Door was unlocked,” 

“Sure as fuck wasn’t!” Roman ran a hand through his hair, looking down at his brother and finally making eye contact with Janus and Remus across the stage. His cheeks subtlety colored before smiling, walking towards the pair. 

“Oh, I was not aware that Remus had brought an audience this time. I am Roman Prince. I would apologize for his behavior but seeing as your expressions are as externally exasperated as mine, I assume you are used to his… Shenanigans,” Roman’s tone seemed tired but his expression still seemed quite fond.

“Used to it a kind way of putting it,” Virgil grumbled, as Remus ran over, throwing an arm around his shoulder, which made Virgil wear that same fond expression. 

Remus smiled, “This cutie is Virgil, hands off, but this intimidating looking dude right here is Janus. He likes debating, philosophy, vintage style music, and he hates society and styling his hair,” 

Janus bowed his head, instinctively adjusting his beanie, “Thank you Remus for that kind introduction, I am sure Roman wanted that,” 

Roman laughed, “I don’t mind. I hate society and also listen to my fair share of vintage music,” 

“Oh, yea?” 

“Yea, well,” Roman rolled his eyes fondly, “Not exactly by choice. My soulmate listens to that style of music and holy Hephaestus' hammer there is a lot of swing. I mean it is good, but I almost feel bad because ballads before Britney Spears I am not particularly interested it,” 

“My soulmate will not stop playing music from the dreaded musical Heathers, I swear if I have to hear it again I am going to find my soulmate and strangle him,” 

Roman’s expression went from intrigued to devious, the expression makes the difference between Remus and Roman almost indistinguishable, “Oh really?” He smirked, “Did it go something like…” Roman backed up a little bit, standing in the middle of the stage but facing Janus stage left, “ I've been through ten high schools, they start to get blurry, no point planting roots 'cause you're gone in a hurry. My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den, so it's only a matter of when…” 

Janus' eyes widened to the size of saucers, as he completely forgot the reason they came to the theater was because the theater department was putting on a production of that “dreaded musical” Janus was entranced either way, the mesmerizing voice that has played in his head all his life was standing right in front of him. He looked behind him to gauge Remus and Virgil’s reaction, but the pair must have left the stage without him noticing. 

Roman walked around the stage, still singing, following some choreography he is sure, but another part of him says it cannot be, because it looks so natural, like Roman is the singer, like this was real life and the world is his musical.

The band didn’t need to play, because Janus remembered every beat and every flourish from the countless times it has played in his head. And yet, he is not annoyed this time. It would be impossible to be, when Roman on stage is the most glorious and breathtaking thing. Like a shooting star or fireworks or a tasteful nude- you just cannot look away, even if you wanted to. 

“Just freeze your brain, freeze your brain, go on and freeze your brain…” Roman stopped right in front of him, “Try it,” He spoke, lightly stroking Janus’ cheek with the back of his hand, and God did he want to kiss Roman right there. To taste the faux cherry slush that he imagined was on his lips and tongue… But he didn’t, because he could barely move under Roman’s touch. 

“I-” Janus opened his mouth to speak after a while, “That was- uh- that was alright,” Janus stuttered, fiddling with the ends of his glove. Roman threw his head back, laughing, “I am not one to typically enjoy the, er, modern day musical but you seemed to carry that incredibly well,” 

Roman shrugged, “I was born for this,” He retracted his hand and did a purrete, a soft smile present on his lips. 

“Would you want to go to the cafe with Remus, Virgil, and I? I would understand if you say no, Remus has been kicked out of that cafe too many times to count on one- no- to count on six hands,” 

Roman ran a hand through his hair, “Yes, that seems incredibly on brand for my brother. That pugnacious peasant has no idea how to control his inhibitions,” 

Janus squinted his eyes, smirking slightly, “Do you ever stop with the word play?” 

Roman smiled, real and genuine this time, “No. I suppose that would be something you have to get used to, huh?”

Taking Roman’s hand, he laced their fingers together, “Stop playing show tunes 24/7, and I think I will be able to manage,” 

“Play a song from the 21st century once and while and I think we have a deal,” 

Janus crossed his fingers behind his back, a devious smirk on his lips, “Oh, of course, my Prince,” 

[keyofjetwolf]

Carmilla Final Thoughts

Firstly, and generally, I had a really good time liveblogging the show! And before I get too deep, I want to thank @cello-moon​ for sponsoring this for all of us. Your enthusiasm for me doing the show has been infectious from the beginning, and has brought me some of my biggest smiles every month. YOU ARE THE ANGLER FISH MONSTER OF MY HEART

I mentioned this in today’s liveblog itself, but there’ve been a lot of elements I’ve been interested in watching develop throughout this, both as a creator and a consumer. The (professional) webseries format isn’t one I’ve delved into very much. (The only one I can bring to mind that isn’t Carmilla is The Guild.) It’s an interesting storytelling structure, one that I think hasn’t yet seen its full potential, and it’s been cool to see the ways it works, and doesn’t, for Carmilla, at least for me.

Now I’ve gone through the whole series, I admit to some disappointment with many of the major plot choices and direction. Most of that disappointment, though, is fueled by frustration at how we came so so so close to doing something I felt was new and interesting AND OH HOW I WANTED. That’s the stuff that really makes you want to scream, the moments of near-brilliance just out of reach. Adding to that, I’m not sure we COULDN’T have done it! Perhaps not in all instances, but in some!

Which is actually, I think, the beginning and end of my frustrations with the show: when all is said and done, in those moments, I was rooting for it to be something it never had any intention of being.

At some point along the way, I said how Carmilla was like fanfic. I meant then, and I mean now, that in a largely positive sense. It’s very emotion-forward, it likes to have fun, it knows what it’s here to do -- and to NOT do -- and it’s 1000% devoted to doing it. It also, however, comes with the fanfic (general!) tendency to not be especially interested in much outside of its very specific view. CARMILLA/LAURA OTP5EVA DON’T LIKE DON’T READ

Which isn’t ...... okay, it IS a criticism. But also not! There’s room in the world for all kinds of stories, and gods know, this is an area where stories have come few and far between. AND IT WENT HARD. There was no ambiguity about it whatsoever, it totally fucking went there in an assortment of ways so many stories just DON’T, and it’s long overdue.

Man though, in a perfect Jet Wolf-shaped world? It would’ve been all that AND MORE.

I wanted so so so much for the show to say a little more, to do a little more. I wanted Laura to have a real significant dose of growing up and have that stick in a way that was meaningful (or at least meaningful in my own definition of the word). She got her impossible fairytale ending where everything Just Worked Out, and so consequently didn’t really have to learn anything, which is I think the biggest itch I can’t scratch. Also though: Danny’s anger at sacrificing herself but not being martyred the way she wanted was fucking BRILIANT, and could’ve led to so many interesting ideas about the nature of sacrifice, the purity of it, the sanctification of the dead, SO MANY AVENUES. Perry’s legit-ass PTSD meaningfully explored (WITH BONUS DEAN-POSSESSION JESUS WEPT), LaF walking that continual moral grey line and having to come to terms with (or absolutely refusing to pay) its cost, HETEROSEXUALITY ENDING THE WORLD

But with all this -- and I know it sounds weird, but it’s true! -- comes the fact that my frustration is evidence of how invested I became in Carmilla. I really came to love the characters, even as I wanted to shake and scream at them. I think they could’ve carried so much of what I wanted from them, and I’ll regret that we didn’t get the opportunity to see it.

Brass tacks and all that, though, I had an awesome time liveblogging the adventures of these kooky kids, and I hope you had just as much an awesome time with me. Full thanks once again to @cello-moon​​, whose sponsorship brought the show to us all. And if you had a bit of fun watching this show with me and want to toss a thanks my way? Well, here are some suggestions!

Tell me! Your comments and participation help fuel my enthusiasm, particularly in whatever weird ass timeline we now find ourselves.

Sponsor me at my Patreon! It’s that sponsorship that keeps my puppy fed and allows my job to be entertaining you. Not only does becoming my patron let the content flow here, but you can get some pretty fucking sweet bonus exclusive shit, too!

Tip me at Ko-Fi! If you really enjoyed my liveblog of Carmilla, this is a great way to let me know. All tips this month (and several months to come) will go toward something I can’t share yet, but desperately want to make happen, and will share if I’m able to accomplish it!

Send me love/hate mail! I’ve got a shiny PO Box, after all, might as well use it. (Doc and I share it, by the way, so you can send her stuff there too!) If you’ve got a thing you’d like to send my way, I’d super fucking love to receive it!      Jet Wolf (and/or Doc Holligay)      PO Box 1621      Billings, MT  59103

I leave you, friends, with this final very important Carmilla thought:

WHERE WAS THE TIARA YOU COULD’VE HAD DEAN ALMOST ANYA WEARING IT AS SHE TRIED TO END THE WORLD IT WOULD HAVE BROUGHT IT ALL FULL CIRCLE WHAT KIND OF MISSED OPPORTUNITY IS THIS JUSTICE 4 TIARA 2K20

[ao3feed-hawks]

The Crazy Inventor, the Timekeeping Boy, and the Bird Trying to Keep the from Accidentally Killing Themselves

The Crazy Inventor, The Timekeeping Boy, And The Bird Trying To Keep The From Accidentally Killing Themselves by Monkeygirl77

"The Observants look at time like they are watching a parade: one thing after another, passing by in a sequence right in front of them. I see the parade from above, all the twists and turns that it might, or might not, take."

~Clockwork, Danny Phantom

Words: 4550, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Kurogiri, Nishiya Shinji | Kamui Woods, Sasaki Mirai | Sir Nighteye, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Shinsou Hitoshi, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Todoroki Shouto, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Todoroki Touya, Todoroki Rei, Shirakumo Oboro, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Iida Tensei | Ingenium, Akaguro Chizome | Stain, U.A. Faculty, Pro Heroes, Nedzu, Hatsume Mei, Class 1-A, Hero Public Safety Commission, Hero Public Safety Commission President, Tsukauchi Naomasa, Bakugou Katsuki

Relationships: Midoriya Izuku & Nishiya Shinji | Kamui Woods, Midoriya Izuku & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Midoriya Izuku & Nedzu, Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi, Midoriya Izuku & Sasaki Mirai | Sir Nighteye, Midoriya Izuku & Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Tokoyami Fumikage, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Enji | Endeavor & Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Rei, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Touya, Akaguro Chizome | Stain & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Everyone, Midoriya Izuku & Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Kurogiri & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Shirakumo Oboro, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Shirakumo Oboro, Shirakumo Oboro & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight & Shirakumo Oboro, Iida Tensei | Ingenium & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & U.A. Faculty, Midoriya Izuku & Pro Heroes, Class 1-A & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko & Midoriya Izuku, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku, Hero Public Safety Commission & Midoriya Izuku, Hero Public Safety Commission & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Midoriya Izuku & Tsukauchi Naomasa, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku & Takami Keigo | Hawks

Additional Tags: Powerful Midoriya Izuku, Time Quirk (My Hero Acadamia), Time Travel, Sort Of, No actual travelling thru time, More like looking through time, Izuku's quirk is kind of like Nighteyes, but not really, At the same time, Its way different, But same in a small way, Chronokenisis, Midoriya Izuku Has a Quirk, Bakugo katsuki is a bully, Bakugou Katsuki Faces Consequences, eventually, Morally Ambiguous Midoriya Izuku, You know Clockwork from Danny Phantom?, izuku is clockwork, Dead Midoriya Inko, Izuku knew from a young age he wasn't going to have his mom all his life, He knew he'd lose her very soon, Found Family, Izuku is well known among the hero community, Izuku wearing a purple beanie, Izuku going by Izuku, Midoriya is too upsetting for him, It makes him think of his mom, Protective Takami Keigo | Hawks, Parental Takami Keigo | Hawks, Papa Hawks, Izuku has the biggest found family in the world, Hero Public Safety Commission Bashing, The Hero Commission is terrified of Izuku, Protective Midoriya Izuku, Hawks is Izuku's favorite hero, He does not approve of how the Commission treats him, Midoriya Izuku is a Little Shit, Midoriya Izuku is a Problem Child, Midoriya Izuku & Nedzu Friendship, Hatsume Mei is a Good Friend, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku are Best Friends, They make babies together, Fucking with time, general fuckery, Time Shenanigans, Shirakumo Oboro Lives, Kurogiri is Shirakumo Oboro, Izuku fixing things, Because everything is wrong, everything is so wrong, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is Not a Villain, He has a complicated backstory, Izuku fixes him, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko Needs a Hug, Sensei | All For One Being an Asshole, Mentioned Sensei | All For One, Izuku calls All For One out on his bullshit, Older Sibling Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, All For One brainwashed Shigaraki, Smart Shigaraki, Izuku knows Pro Heroes, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Parental Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Parental Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Parental Kurogiri, Parental Shirakumo Oboro, Parental Tsukauchi Naomasa, Protective all of the above, Yagi Toshinori | All Might is a Bad Teacher, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Idiot, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Asshole, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing, I'm not a fan of All Might, Izuku does not like All Might, Shinsou Hitoshi is in Class 1-A, Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi Friendship, Protective Shinsou Hitoshi, Cute Midoriya Izuku, Everyone Loves Midoriya Izuku, Everyone is worried for Midoriya Izuku, Protective Class 1-A, Class 1-A as Family, Ticklish Midoriya Izuku, everyone knows this, He tries to be hard to get, but he's not, Everyone gets him, Izuku needs to laugh, Poor baby's been thru so much, Izuku agrees with Stain's ideals, Just not his execution, Murder is never the answer, Hero Killer Stain Arc, Parental Akaguro Chizome | Stain, Izuku and Stain talk, Izuku saves Tensei, Izuku follows Iida when he goes after Stain, Izuku is not a fan of Sir Nighteye, The Future isn't set in stone, Midoriya Izuku Needs A Hug, Don't worry, he gets lots of hugs, lots and lots, all the hugs, Izuku is a very tactile person, He craves physical attention, physical affection, its okay, He gets everything he needs, Mei is a badasss, Lots of explosions, Mei and Izuku are siblings, Hawks is trying to keep them from accidentally killing themselves, So much exasperation

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29651430

[skimblyshanks]

If you want all of my problems with Sideways’ video in a more articulate-ish post, here you go

basically, he had me for a good while, then lost me when he started making some implications in Part V and falling into a trap he tends to fall into when he gets heated abt the treatment of the orchestra and that’s ultimately forgetting the time it can take actors to learn and polish numbers vocally before heading into rehearsals with live accompaniment. when you title a part Dance Rehearsal I expect some more talk abt the full range of actors’ rehearsal for a movie musical, especially when there were many new faces, wholly new choreo, and a system of on-set accompaniment that was inconsistent and meant to follow the actors more than actually provide them that accompaniment. He barely brings up the rehearsal process in this part of the video which was ???? like he raised a good point tho, which was that all the weird tempo changes could have been discussed with the orchestra in rehearsal, but then kinda seemed to blame celebrity actors for the orchestration being weird? Like I think I get what he was trying to play at, which was more in the way of Hooper not structuring things effectively? But it’s like, he effectively pits Jason and Steven against the rest of the soloists and I’m not here for that. Even if he only really meant to pit their performances against Wilson, Corden, And Sir Ian, I can’t really say I like the implications he made. I’m also quick to bristle at “They came onto se not knowing the music” when it’s rather common knowledge how little time Francesca had to learn Beautiful Ghosts, on top of oh, idk, learning how to sing, period.

Again, I don’t think the implications were intentional, but this part didn’t need to be in the video. Also, he makes a point about how long the orchestra were working on the movie which yes, absolutely it’s insane, but the thing is that everyone involved in post were working up to the deadline, especially VFX who had to keep working PAST the premiere. Everyone in the production was crunched.

Basically, part V was like. Unnecessary, lmao. It really only serves to highlight his bias towards the orchestra alone, and kind of threw most of the cast under the bus, accidental or no. The strongest aspects of the video were the parts looking at how the movie missed the mark on the show’s score; how the false attempt at what we assume Hooper thinks is whole-show rubato damages the structure of the songs; how the inserts mess up the pacing. He had a really good argument going there; one that didn’t explicitly go after the actors, and I wish he had stuck with it, and ended with the further discussion of Hooper’s on-set methods and how they’ve increased in part IV.

Other gripes:

In his breakdown of the show, he left out the Macavity fight even though there are returns of excerpts from the jellicle ball, and it shows that they need Mistoffelees to bring deut to them.

he was doing so well in looking at the show’s score and what it communicates, then essentially went “They should have gone with the upbeat M+R arrangement bc it’s what most ppl know and I think it sounds better.” And that just. That annoyed me a lot bc mate. You talk abt the instrumentation and intended atmosphere of Gus: The Theatre Cat, did you not notice the jazz influence on Macavity’s number in the stage show? There could be an argument made abt the reinstrumentation in 2019 but it’s like, it’s still a jazzy piece. You can see them clearly working for Macavity. They are meant to be more morally ambiguous in the movie. I know you watched the 98 film all the way through at least once and they are v much not working for macavity there.

What annoys me even more with the M+R overlook is that there are still issues with the re-arrangement of the version they went with. He explicitly mentions that Danny gets stuck with a lot of movement during his solo lines in the song that work against his performance, but like. He looked at the stacked harmony in Gumbie cat and how they stuck Rebel on a solo that isn’t the top voice (what some ppl hear as the melody voice for that segment), and if he looked at the OL composition for M+R he’d have seen that the first two verses are meant to be sung almost entirely in unison, and with a harmony on “Rove” which Danny had to handle alone and while moving.

[kochampierniki]

John Brannox x male, cardinal! Reader

Okay, I thought I won’t post it, because it’s my first fanfic and that’s like totally new, undiscovered “land” for me and I don’t feel confident, but I really like final effect. So I will just see, what will happen, lol.

Fandom: The New Pope Backstory: It all happens, when you with other cardinals arrive to Brannox’ manor to ask him, if he wants to become pope. You’re a bit frustrated, because it was supposed to be short trip, but he don’t give you easy answers.  Notes: John Brannox x male, cardinal! Reader (or you can read it from ex: Gutierrez’ perspective), angst

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was lying in bed with eyes closed, waiting for impulse to finally get up. My fingers were a bit cold, I could feel that fire died at night and the day is propably (again) foggy and cold. Rome was much warmer, milder. When will we get home? Maybe today he will tell us his answer? Sir John was constantly misleading us, keeping us in doubts, even when most of us was determined to already go back to Vatican. I'm not sure, if I was so excited to come back without him. 

I got up with silent sigh and dressed more casual and functional - I kept my cardinal's suit for better occasion. In high, leather boots, khaki pants and long, dark coat I went for small breakfast and walk. At least I could enjoy some fresh air and landscapes, when it's not raining, right? I was sure most of cardinals are sleeping, because manor was truly silent. So I was quite astonished seeing sir John sitting in saddle and talking to his butler. Well, his mount wasn't most suitable choice - a bit too heavy, not royal at all, but with elegant and classy nobleman in saddle. I hadn't opportunity to get in saddle for years, so before I've stopped myself from asking unwanted questions, I said:

- May I join you, your Eminence?

He looked surprised, but accepted with short nod. 

- Danny will prepare your horse and tell you, how to find me.

Find him? Now I raised my eyebrow, because he surely won't wait for me. A small doubt got into my heart, questioning if I should ride after him, because maybe he was just too polite to reject my company? 

- Of course, thank you. 

I followed Danny to stables, turning away to watch sir Brannox becoming smaller and smaller spot on sandy road. Butler was - as always - polite and gentle, smilling all the time, so I can't guess if I should follow his lord. - Do you think that his yes was honest?

- I believe so, your Eminence. I think he will be pleased by your company. 

Danny showed me stables and much younger stable boy helped me choose and saddle up horse. My mount was more classy - energetic, young mare. She barely could stay in one place, was so focused on going forward. I followed Danny's instructions, at first just in walk, so this bay beauty could warm up a little. Then with firm impulse I ordered her to trot, she reacted even a bit too enthusiasthic. After few minutes of riding down the road, I began thinking, that I've lost way or was too slow, so sir Brannox was already home. Then I finally found him standing by riverbend, watching gray water flowing over the rocks. His horse was drinking and he surely wasn't in hurry. I stopped my horse next to him. 

- I hope you I don't mind me interrupting your loneliness, sir John. 

He smiled a little, but his eyes remained sad.

- I'm never alone, even now, your Eminence.

For a short while, he was just watching river... 

- I used to ride with Adam, my twin brother. So he follows me also here... But that doesn't change a thing.

You should read beetwen the lines, to understand this man and his ambiguity - his honest laugh followed by tragic remainings of the past, melancholy and sometimes shadow of his parents disappointment. 

- Well, I thought there are ghosts only in your manor, not by your side. And do you enjoy his presence?

- As a man of church, we shouldn't believe in ghosts and presence of shadows of the past. Don't we?

Another rethorical question and blind alley, he mentioned his brother few times, but never want to talk about it.  He took reins in his hands and lead his horse back to the sandy road, I followed him trying to keep my overexcited mare in right pace. We both agreed, that our horses would enjoy some running, so we warmed them up in trot and then allowed them to stretch legs and a catch a bit of wind in canter. That wasn't easy to stay in saddle in trot, because my mount was so energetic, but her canter was much kinder for me. Then we gradually got back to walk and I recognized road - we were heading back to manor. A man with such strong personality as sir John won't answer, if he don't want to talk, so after longer pause I admitted:

- Astonishing landscapes. So simple, but also quite overwhelming.  Fog was like gentle curtain covering soft, curvy hills. There are few small bushes with almost naked trees. Whole landscape was emanating with distance and melancholy. 

- Overwhelming? Interesting choice of words.

- There are two ways to make human feel overwhelmed. First, when it's too much to handle - when everything is like waves slowly covering you and making breathing impossible. Second is just emptiness. It's just landscape, but right under your skin and maybe just by your heart you can feel, that this space is too empty. It's lack of what? I can't tell, but when we meet emptiness, we try to cover it by ourselves and that's often not comfortable...

He was listening carefully, I could tell even without looking at him. No interrupting, no polite smiles. 

- ...because we are the hardest company for ourselves. 

That touched him deeply, so he remained silent. In his manor he often ended conversation at such point and run away, but now? There was no escape and there was no chase, because I didn't continue this topic. I focused on the ride and long minutes later looked at John with surprise, when he asked me:

- What make it so difficult? - his eyes darkened with eyeliner met my eyes and I was sure, that his question wasn't just curiosity - To meet yourself, your Eminence?

- For me? I'm rarely enough for myself. It's hard to look at my mistakes and sins, when I know, I can be better, more succesful or loving. I can't accept my imperfection, even when I see, that others see me as a bright star on the sky and as mentor or guide. It's vanity, because I almost believe than I can be perfect as only God can be. And it's hard to live your whole life with person, that doesn't allow you to fail and make you feel guilty for it. Of course, you can ease this feeling, try to accept yourself, but it's long process. 

He gently touched my arm.

- You shouldn't be so harsh for yourself. Such vanity could lead you to moral perfection, because you try to follow highest standards - god himself. And as his servants or maybe rather listeners, we know glory of sacrifice and living for others. 

- Thank you - I barely replied with lump in my throat. 

We were riding home in silence. I felt that I couldn't leave it like this. For the last few days I was watching him suffer, fighting with something only on his own - he won't allow anyone to help and my heart was just breaking. I wouldn't admit it loud, but I was ready to do almost everything to soothe his pain and make him smile - without this shadow of irony or sadness. But he was like well defended castle, we saw only, what he allowed us to see. Nothing more. I don't have to say, that this were rarely something personal. Manor was almost in front of us, when I looked at him with tenderness and said: 

- I don't know, what make it so hard for you, sir John. But I know, that there is always way to get over the past and find peace for ghosts haunting you. 

That was only hipothesis, that his problem is his brother or maybe barely living parents - he mentioned Adam too often, it was like open wound and like yelling for help without allowing anyone to get closer. He wanted change, but was he ready for this? Voiello was seeing this only as his deppresive side, oversymplyfying and ignoring his family issues, which can be obstacle in taking responsibility as a pope. And what's more important: in being good pope. One of previous pontifs Pius XIII showed us, how you can use papecy to deal with your own family issues and act as a little kid on most important position in roman church. At least he became more mature at the end, but I still wasn't convinced to him. For me he was too concerned on dogma, forgetting about people and also too focused on himself sometimes. Will John Brannox be good candidate? He was looking too much to the past, but was also great theoretist of middle way and charismatic, gentle material for new leader. I could feel, that he just have to open himself to become great pope. 

- Thank you for company, your Eminence. I felt a bit less lonely at least for a while. 

He shooked my hand with gentle smile of gratitude and strong gaze. Maybe he was defeated man, but not broken yet. 

- That was pleasure, thanks to you. 

My heart was wildly pounding in my chest, when I was watching him leading his horse back to stables. Well, now I was sure, that I'm not thinking about him only as a candidate for a pope.  

[scrapsofsky]

I have once more (and a very long time ago) been challenged by Ian Sales to join him in our un-named war to come up with the best arbitrary list of films within an equally arbitrarily selected category. You can find previous iterations of this absurdity here, here, here, here, and here. We have, alas, not done this in a long while, which we can both blame on being busy with many other things.

But in the interest of rekindling silliness, I have been loosely challenged by Ian to come up with a list of 10 underrated SF/F films from the last 20 years, which is a direct response to this ScreenRant list. Since this list is in response to a link with a remarkably open prompt, I’ve opted to stick to the 10 item list format. Future challenges will go back to our favorite number:  5.

Ian, of course, has already dropped his list. Go check it out!

With that in mind, the following list of 10 films represent my attempt to put together films that I consider to be overrated. My criteria is fairly simple:

It must be a SF/F film released since 1999.

It must be underrated in the sense that it is underappreciated by the SF/F community or has largely been forgotten. Box office numbers may be part of the equation, but mostly I will go on my own interactions with the SF/F community and sadly arbitrary interpretations of what has been “lost” to everyday discourse.

I literally don’t care if the movies I pick are considered “good” by other people, and so I’ve picked films that I think are interesting for some reason or another. This inevitably means that you will hate my list and wish me to fall into a pit of endless fire.

So, without further adieu, here’s my list:

The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)(dir. Makoto Shinkai)

One of my first academic essay publications focused on this film, which should tell you how much I enjoy it. Kumo no Mukō, Yakusoku no Basho is, in my opinion, Makoto Shinkai’s magnum opus. A story of friendship, betrayal, and love. A story of the Cold War, imperial control, and out of control technology. Shinkai’s method of storytelling is remarkable:  low key and vibrant, emotionally tense and freeing. In a world where Hayao Miyazaki is considered the King of Japanese Animation, Shinkai’s work has sadly not received the appreciation it deserves — Kumo no Mukō, Yakusoku no Basho especially.

The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)(dir. David Twohy)

I strongly considered putting 2000’s Pitch Black here instead, but I think that film, while perhaps a bit underrated today, has received considerable praise. Its sequel, The Chronicles of Riddick, however, has often been derided for one reason or another. Unfairly, in my opinion. From its Gothic (with a side of emo) aesthetic to its expansion of the Riddick universe into a sprawling space opera to its total commitment to the gritty, morally ambiguous treasure trove of dirty, grungy themes, places, and characters, The Chronicles of Riddick is easily one of my favorite science fiction films of the last 20-ish years. Plus, the cast is fantastic. This is a hill I’m willing to die on. (Also:  I look forward to checking out Furya and Merc City in the near future!)

Night Watch and Day Watch (2004 and 2006)(dir. Timur Bekmambetov)

I’m counting these as one because it’s my list and I can do what I want. This Russian duology is based on Sergey Lukyanenko urban fantasy novels about the conflict between two supernatural factions who monitor the actions of one another as part of an uneasy truce. Part detective thriller and part dark fantasy, the films pack quite a punch. However, outside of the circuit of foreign film lovers within SF/F, they’ve largely flown under the radar, this despite starring well known Russian actor Konstantin Khabensky. If you’ve never seen these films, you owe it to yourself to watch them, even if for no other reason than to watch someone drive a sports car across the face of an apartment complex!

Sunshine (2007)(dir. Danny Boyle)

I considered putting Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later here instead, but I don’t think that film is actually all that underrated even if it doesn’t get as much play today as it did a decade ago. Sunshine, however, has spent most of its existence floating between general praise for its visuals and premise and general dislike for its second act. And, yes, it is a spectacularly gorgeous film, but that second act is, in my opinion, far more interesting than most people are willing to admit. Turning a space thriller into a horror film as a commentary on the paradoxical frailty and strength of the human spirit is, in my opinion, a gutsy move. For me, that move pays off, and it’s one of the reasons I think this film has remained underrated. It doesn’t follow the pattern these stories usually follow. It’s basically Armageddon if that film took itself seriously and Rockhound actually went insane. And that makes it an infinitely more interesting film.

Upgrade (2018)(dir. Leigh Whannell)

If you didn’t get a chance to see Upgrade, you’re missing out. This sleeper scifi action thriller had some of the most compelling fight choreography and shot compositions of 2018, and yet it flew under the radar. I had the good fortune to see the film in theaters; the experience did not disappoint. Much of the fight choreography relied on some impressive camera trickery to follow the lead actor’s movements, giving the entire film a robotic and wonky feel. It’s truly exciting to watch, and I wish more people had had the opportunity to do so in an actual theater. Because it’s gorgeous on the big screen!

Push (2009)(dir. Paul McGuigan)

I will watch almost anything with Djimon Hounsou in it. Push is one of those forgotten little films that takes a less in-your-face approach to the whole super powers concept. In this world, people with powers are test subjects or hidden in plain sight, monitored by a nefarious organization with equally nefarious intents. By comparison to the typical superhero film we have today, Push is quite restrained, relishing in the quirks and trickery of its list of powers and giving actors like Dakota Fanning the space to place (watching her drunkenly stumble around is kinda fun). It’s an imperfect film to be sure, but one that I still love.

Hulk (2003)(dir. Ang Lee)

I’m going to catch hell for this, but Ang Lee’s Hulk is one of my favorite superhero movies to date. I even prefer it to that other Hulk film by a long mile. Lee does give us some of the stuff you expect from a superhero film (big fight scenes and visual spectacle), but I particularly love the softer focus on Banner and his mental state. It feels more like a film that is trying to say something about human nature than a film stuck in an endless action sequence or caught up in villainy for the sake of villainy. For me, that means the film takes more chances with its performance and themes. And I’m always more compelled by the film that tries to do something interesting and failed than I am by the alternative.

Another Earth (2011)(dir. Mike Cahill)

Independent cinema has a tendency to produce some truly introspective and powerful films. Another Earth is no exception. A film about loss, guilty, love, and second chances, Another Earth‘s science fiction premise (a mirror Earth) is really just background, offering an opportunity in the conclusion and lending weight to the central thematic of loss and guilt as the romance between the protagonists comes head-to-head with a secret that threatens to tear them apart. The narrative is at times quite haunting, but it also commands us to think more deeply about what it means to seek forgiveness, to seek second chances, to live with loss, and so on. And if you like this one, Sound of My Voice (2011) is a far creepier film about cults that also stars Brit Marling!

Dredd (2012)(dir. Pete Travis)

We will never get an adaptation of Judge Dredd that is as good as 2012’s Dredd. A vicious, unrelenting and dark film, Dredd is one of those films that desperately deserves more credit than it has thus far received. Karl Urban’s performance is textbook perfection, and Travis’ direction gives this a brutally honest tone. And unlike its predecessor adaptation, Dredd isn’t endlessly mockable; instead, it is a visually arresting satire that makes most action thrillers look tame. There are few films on this list that I would say are perfect. Dredd is one of them.

The Cat Returns (2002)(dir. Hiroyuki Morita)

Studio Ghibli gets a lot of well-deserved love for its many Hayao Miyazaki films (my favorite Miyazaki is actually Mononoke Hime / Princess Mononoke). But one film the studio doesn��t get enough credit for is the utterly delightful Neko no Ongaeshi / The Cat Returns (or The Cat’s Repayment). It’s an Alice in Wonderland type tale (or tail, heh) about a young girl who gets sucked into the secret world of cats. Calling this film delightful is an understatement. It is downright adorable, and it has been sadly overshadowed by Ghibli’s many other exceptional productions. But if you’re looking for a cute (and sometimes hilarious) fantasy adventure involving talking cats, The Cat Returns is the film for you.

And that’s it. That’s my list. I could add many other films here, but I’ve limited myself to ten.

Now for a challenge to Ian and anyone else who wants to take it:  pick your five favorite films featuring talking animals! Go!

It's time for another #FilmChallenge. @ian_sales challenged me to come up with 10 underrated SF/F films released between 1999 and 2019. So here's my list! :D I have once more (and a very long time ago) been challenged by Ian Sales to join him in our un-named war to come up with the best arbitrary list of films within an equally arbitrarily selected category.

[selfcallednowhere]

March 2, 2018 Los Angeles, CA

They opened with "I Left My Body," and then came an amusing mix-up. The band was playing what was clearly the beginning of "Damn Good Times," and Flans started talking over it. "We're They Might Be Giants from Brooklyn, New York! We have a new album out and this is the single! It's called 'Why Does the Sun Shine?'!"

And then everyone stopped playing because of course "Why Does the Sun Shine?" wasn't the next song--y'know, as evidenced by the fact that they'd already started playing the next song and it was obviously not it. John said, "None of that was true. Not a single word of it. We are not They Might Be Giants." Flans: "Hi, we're Cheap Trick!"

So then they went back to playing what they were actually supposed to be playing. When I'm singing along at shows I normally always sing the lead part, but not on this one--I sing along with John's "Damn! Good times!" in the chorus because it's way more fun and also inevitably describes how I'm feeling right then.

"Why Does the Sun Shine?" actually was the next song up. John informed us that if the sun were hollow a million earths would fit inside "comfortably," and also that "Scientists have found that the sun is a huge atom-smashing machine. They're wrong. But that's what they've found." Also, the heat and light of the sun were caused by the nuclear reaction between "hydrogen, something else, that guy, and everything."

Afterwards, Flans said, "We're frozen in time, but this audience seems more bearded than ever." Then he said that these are complicated, shitty times, and that they were surprised when their management told them they have a new album out. But they thought that was cool, and when they listened to the copies they gave them they discovered that it was "so much better than it had to be." Then he explained that they'd be playing two sets and we should "treat us like you would any other opener--with total emotional distance."

Flans introduced "Mrs. Bluebeard" by saying it was "the part of the show I've all been waiting for." I was looking forward to it too, because at this point I'd just become deeply curious about if John was ever going to manage to get the lyrics right. The correct answer to this question turned out to be NOPE. He messed it up yet again, though he at least managed to do better than the previous night, when some of the things he was singing weren't even words.

After they played "Your Racist Friend," Flans said that during the song he'd been "rocking out stage left" and he'd seen a guy who had his camera out but then had immediately put it away "like he expected me to go all Axl Rose on him." Then he said a thing he'd been joking about other times about how they wanted to encourage flash photography (joke though it may have been, it would've been about the only way one could reliably get decent pictures with the terrible backlit lighting setup they were using), and also if we were recording a bootleg we should send them a copy. He also said that if we had any work emails to catch up on we should feel free to go ahead and do it now.

Next they played "The Statue Got Me High"--on keyboard again, siiiiiiiigh. Once again it was too difficult for me to push past how upset I was about this to properly enjoy one of my all-time fav songs.

After that, John put the contra-alto clarinet on. Flans said that they wanted to thank their corporate sponsor, Microsoft, and that this was Clippy, the mascot of Microsoft Word. John said that he should have just left it at Microsoft, and Flans said he was leaving it at that, that this was all he was allowed to say. Then John told us that it was the contra-alto clarinet. "It's not legal unless you say the whole name." Flans said it was "unrelated to other contra groups," and John said it was "equally controversial." Then Flans said it would be implanting a tracking device in us.

So then they played "All Time What." The more I see that song live, the more I like it.

Afterwards, Flans said that normally he would ask John how his day was, but this time he didn't need to ask because they'd actually spent the whole day together. He said that they'd discussed some documentary about Chicago and "whether the moral ambiguity of Three Billboards was ok or not." Then John said that they'd met four Uber drivers, all of whom enjoyed the job, which surprised him. Flans said they all seemed to have post-doc educations and were interrupting their conversations to correct them about stuff--he said it had happened when they were discussing controlling children and also when they were discussing drugs.

Then John asked Flans if he was staring at his setlist to see what the next song was, and Flans said he absolutely wouldn't slow the show down by doing that (as if knowing what the next song is wasn't the entire purpose of them having setlists in the first place). Then John said the next song was in the movie Mayor of the Sunset Strip, and Flans said the reference was "for people who are old enough to know that Laugh-In wasn't funny." John: "I Think there are people who are old enough to be operating under the delusion that Laugh-In was funny." The song was "Bangs."

Next was "Hearing Aid," and after Flans said that they were "testing the threshold of the PA."

JL: I think I feel the subwoofers under me. JF: I think subwoofers are very expensive, John. *takes microphone off stand* When I take the mic off like this, do you feel like you're about to get a TED Talk? Disrupters. Next slide. JL: You thought this, but no, that. JF: A new way of making deals. They do the work, you make the money. It'll cost you a little to get in on this opportunity. JL: All we need is the kajillions of dollars that you all have. JF: We just need one investor, who has nothing but his Jimi Hendrix replica guitars. We actually did a TED Talk, and we were part of the "what's wrong with this picture" brigade. The theme of the weekend was "genius," which seemed a little fulsome, as my mother would say. We played at like 9 AM, and I was joking that we'd never played that early except at a librarian convention. And afterwards a librarian came up to me and said, "Libraries don't open at 9 AM."

John introduced "The Mesopotamians" by saying it was from "a TV show that was on very early, before Laugh-In."

Before "When the Lights Come On," Flans said that he "forgot if they had an intro to this song," and John said, "That was it right there. You just found it." GOD this song is SO FUCKING GOOD live. I'm so happy that they're playing it so much.

Next came "Nothing's Gonna Change my Clothes" (two completely glorious songs in a row!). All the times I've seen this one live, John sings it in the cadence of the demo, which makes me really happy because I love that version.

After that John held up his coffee and said "Mazel tov." Flans said he didn't think he'd ever heard him say that before, and John said Danny said that he'd said it a couple of days ago. He said Flans said he didn't think he'd ever heard him say it before that time too, but then he said he didn't remember saying it at all. Flans said it was like a KISS concert, with one of them saying over and over that they'd never played a certain song before (which of course made me think of "P.S.O.K."). Then he said that the other day on Twitter some Trump administration official had used the phrase "mazel tov cocktail," and "I salute their scrambled brain." John said that they were talking about all this unrelated stuff and someone had just yelled "We love you!" and it was as if they were saying "Come back!"

After "This Microphone," Flans introduced Curt and said he'd come from Connecticut on a minibike. Then he asked Marty if he was playing a hollowed-out orange, and then asked if he bought it that way or if it came in a kit, then asked him if his sponsor was here. Then Marty said it was supposed to stay on the drumstick, but he hadn't been able to get it to, and Flans said "So you did a mod. It's like a life hack." Then he said that Marty was "putting percussionists out of business."

Next they played "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal," which remains one of the absolute show highlights for me with Curt there. Where we were standing there was a pole just to the right of John when he was at his keyboard, and I was bopping around so much during that song that I kept having the pole block my view of him. Being able to see him during shows is normally priority #1 for me, but I couldn't help it! That's just what that song + trumpet does to me!

They closed the first set with "Particle Man," and then returned for the Quiet Storm. They opened with "Older" as per usual. This time John was pointing at the crowd for parts of it as if he were Death himself (ala that one fantastic Mink Car promo picture).

After "I Like Fun," Flans said that they love the old songs, and they particularly love this one cos it's "so damn old." People were yelling things out, and Flans said "You can shout out all the names of what you think we're going to play and you'll be wrong." Then he said the song was full of "vitriol and unbridled hostility," which was very appealing to them.

So then they of course played "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too," and then did an introduction to "James K. Polk" that was pretty similar to the night before: John said they'd be going all the way from the 1840 of that song into the future of 1844, with "self-driving beards and electric buggy whips," and then that the song wasn't letting their true feelings about its subject come across, which are that "he was a dick." Flans: "It's value-neutral...about someone who was a dick." Then Flans said that he was the reason where we are right now in California is a part of America, but that isn't necessarily a good thing.

So next was "James K. Polk," of course. Right before the bridge, with Flans's solo, John did the silly thing he does sometimes where he says some variation of "John Flansburgh, explain!" Then, after Flans played the first half, he said, "I see, go on." There was also some quality spazziness during the last verse--he's often spazzy during that part, I'm not sure why but of course I love it.

Next they played "The Famous Polka."

JF: The only polka we know. People ask us how we sequence our songs--that was "Polk," and then "Polka." "Polk-a." JL: That was also a Radiohead album. JF: That was the good one. This next song is from the John Henry album. It's underrated. JL: I think it's overrated. JF: It's underrated by me. JL: It has a histogram like this. *holds hand up, then moves down, then across, then up again* There are super-haters, and super-lovers.

It made me sad to hear John call it overrated, since it's tied as my favorite album. I do think he's right about how polarizing it is within fandom though, but the "super-haters" are WRONG WRONG WRONG.

So then they played MY SONG. I swear to god, I could see that song at every single show I go to from here on out and it would never stop being an incredibly special experience for me. I just love the song so, so, so MUCH, and it's a really big deal for me to see them play it. I always cheer like crazy when it's over.

That was the last song of the Quiet Storm, followed by "Istanbul." Then Flans introduced "Bills, Bills, Bills" by fist talking about when they did "Tubthumping." He said that the list of songs the AV Club gave them was "notorious and vaguely dubious," and that they had to figure out "how to make it feel good" so they had the staff come in and sing it with them. Then he said that after that they the "opportunity" to come back a second time, and that there are "many reasons not to cover Destiny's Child," but that the song is so complicated that now that they've learned it they don't want to drop it from the set, like they did it in vaudeville. Then he explained that John will sing Beyonce's part and he'll sing Kelly's part, and that she's "my favorite child--I think they call them children--not that I'm an expert." Then he said that there was "the third one" whose name he couldn't remember, and John said "You have to love all your children the same." Then people were yelling that the third one's name is Michelle, and Flans said "Michelle! It's even in the song!" (I'm not sure what he meant by this.)

So then they played the song (I became a Flansgirl for the length of it as per usual), then "New York City," then "Birdhouse in Your Soul."

When John was getting his Kaoss Pad ready for "Wicked Little Critta," he said, "I pressed the button that makes the song happen." After that he was telling someone in front that he couldn't quite read what their homemade shirt said but that it was "freaking me out." I'm not sure what it said exactly, but then Flans said (apparently in response to it) "Two votes? But what about the midterms?" Then he said he needed one for his mom, and then I think the person must've been starting to take the shirt off, because Flans said, "No no no! My mom's in Florida! She can wait!"

After that Flans went back to his joke of the night before about Dan Miller being Tabitha on Bewitched, repeated almost word-for-word the same as the previous night (disillusioning!), but with the new addition this time that they'd added this "fact" to Wikipedia and no one had caught it yet.

After a run of a bunch of great songs that I don't have any special comments on ("Number Three," "Answer," "Twisting," and "Man, It's So Loud in Here"), they did band intros and then Flans thanked "all the lit majors in the audience" (which was random but did make this particular lit major feel pretty awesome!).

They closed the main set with "The Guitar," rockin' and fantastic as always. As bonuses it featured John (adorably) hopping and (adorably) waving during the "the lion waves good-bye" bit in the last verse.

When they came back for the first encore Flans made an announcement that was very exciting to me as a Pacific Northwesterner: that they'd be touring Canada later in the year. He said they're going to be "going to cities that are a mistake to go to." Then he talked about how they just got the I Like Fun vinyl, and that it resembles "a fireman's calendar from 2012."

Then:

JF: This next song is for everyone. JL: Well, almost everyone. *pause* I'm actually not sure what you mean by that. JF: I didn't want to say that it's for you. JL: Are we talking about the same song? JF: "Do They Know It's Christmas?"?

The next song was actually "Dead," so yes that was a mysterious comment to make! But anyway I was thrilled to see it again, and even more thrilled when they followed it up with "Don't Let's Start" again.

When they came back for the second encore Flans was taking a picture of the crowd with his phone, and John was goofily posing at the edge of the stage to be in it too. When I found the picture later that night it was as great as I hoped it would be.

Then John said that he'd just noticed Danny wasn't wearing red pants, and Flans said we should check out the pants that he was wearing, which were these blue ones with a grid pattern that were indeed pretty wild. Then Flans was saying that there's some festival in Boston that they've played a lot, and that they kept having bands that were opening for them right before they made it big (the example he gave was The Cardigans), but one time it was a band called Royal Clown Revue, and he told the promoters that they absolutely did not want a band with a name like that opening for them, but that they told him it was a typo and it was actually Royal Crown Revue, and they were a ska band. Then he told Danny that if he "wanted to make a lateral move into Mighty Mighty Bosstones," he definitely could with those pants.

Then John was thanking us and said "We love you, in an inappropriate way," which was...strange.

The final song was "Doctor Worm," which I think is a good closer--I like it when they end with something really high-energy like that, and everyone gets so into that one.

So it ended up being exactly the same setlist as in San Diego the night before, which surprised me--I've been to shows multiple nights in a row quite a few times, and I don't think I've ever seen them not switch out at least a couple of the songs from one night to the next. The setlist consisted of some really terrific stuff, don't get me wrong, all of which was really exciting to see, but I'd be lying if I said I weren't a bit disappointed about it being exactly the same. Still had an amazing time, of course!

The final all-important JL wardrobe report: he was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt, and I managed to be less upset about his dumb haircut than I was the night before.

[probablybadrpgideas]

PBRPG idea one year game sum up!

It’s my one year anniversary! *excitment* thank you for following my humble blog! I have 16800 followers and enough spinoffs to make my own spin-off tumblr! Thank you, you are all great!  Now, the every bad rpg idea game

Our GM is @zigzagzoom94 (you may remember him from a previous idea!)

Our heroes are a group of Larpers in super city Deathsythe/Gurn Blanson (me)- had his parents killed in front of him as child. Went on a campaign to stop crime. Legally distinct from any major DC characters mostly due to not having any money. Uses a brick on a rope.  Ol’ Ironside (@dumpableoffence​ )- the leader! By which I mean the one responsible member of the group. Mostly tries to stop Deathsythe killing people, Science Kid freeing everyone and SkateMate from… actually SkateMate’s pretty cool, good job SkateMate. Wants to smooch Jeff Goldblum. And these two played by people you don’t know in any way!

Science Kid/Methusla Honeysuckle (@stripeysocksarecool) a gender-ambigous ten year old! Likes science. Doesn’t know much science. Wants everyone to be friends. SkateMate/Trapezium Milkington  ( @anders-was-right )- a skimpily dressed person on a skateboard. Enjoys telling their tragic backstory at any/all opportunities. Overly fond of jumping in front of bullets for people. At the larping convention( after beating up Danny Devito) the heroes hear a cry for help from outside! They scuttle off to help! Oh yeah all of them are giant spiders I forgot to mention. Outside, some dude in a hazmat suit is stealing the powers of the worlds two greatest superheroes- Fireman and Ionised Carbon Man! Deathsythe climbs onto a gargoyle to brood- and finds a gun! He shoot the hazmat guy. It misses. Hazmat guy shoots back but Skatemate jumps in front of the beam (they are unharmed) (they rolled a 76 toughness) (using D100s in M&M is a little broken) Now, it’s time for science kid to try! They tackle Hazmat Guy! He goes down, and is pinned by a small child! That was easy! Hazmat guy explains he was mindcontrolled by the superheroes until he developed the power to copy powers and went to take revenge! Also he beat a guy to death with a brick! Science kid decides this is too morally ambiguous and calls the police. Deathscythe decides this is too morally ambiguous and tries to shoot him. He fails, but now the police are on the way, so the gun goes back in the gargoyle. Just a standard gungoyle, nothing to see here. Police officer Jennifer Aniston (famed for her role in the gritty crime drama “Friends”) shows up and arrests Hazmat Guy! He reveals that he is going to fill the city's water supply with power-copying drugs! Removing everyone’s powers! The heroes decide to run the fuck away so it’s up to us! First plan! Evacuate the city by faking a terrorist attack! For this we need knitting needles, tinsel, school disco supplies, and a kazoo. We get the knitting needles from Ironside’s grandma Nicholas Cage, and DeathScythe’s entire utility belt contains only Kazoos, so that’s sorted out. DeathScythe breaks a window, steals tinsel and is arrested. Science Kid goes to school and remembers that prom is coming up and they don’t have a date! We remember this too! (science kid is ten and won’t be at prom) (the rest of us are midtwenties and won’t be at prom) (getting a date for prom is inexplicably a major motivation anyway) After skatemate breaks us out of prison (and dates a policeman) we listen to ironside’s plan to fake a terrorist attack. Luckily, it fades to black before they can explain how those help and we’re in the corporation that produces chemicals! They have a ominous latin name and employ Jeff Goldblum! We take some superpowers, Deathsycthe can now control cards! SkateMate can fly while holding a glowstick! Science Kid has 308 arms! So we beat the bad guys (308 arms are wildly overpowered) and discover the villain behind all this- our old gm! He has tricked us into a replica of our last dungeon where we must fight our old characters in a game of deck of many things uno! Dammit this is why we don’t let you GM anymore So, after we removed all the paladin’s intelligence, sent SkateMate to the elemental plane of pistachio and froze deathscythe, science kid drew the moon. Giving them 1d3+1 wishes. You may remember we replaced all dice with d100s And then the story of how the day was saved, everyone’s tragic backstory was reversed and we all got dates for the prom thanks to a ten year old with 300 arms and godlike control over reality! (they still have wishes, there is no way this could go wrong in future) Other stuff that happened- - Gun fight with sue perkins! - “if you don’t kill anyone I’ll give you a pony” - We try to persuade a 2 year old to steal money to bribe our gm - we are spotted by guards by making them all grow hundreds of arms -Ol’ Ironside is dumped by Jeff Goldblum Other stuff that could happen! - if we are all defeated, there are backup grandma sheets to replace us. -One of them has the dark secret that she fakes her cakes - The elemntal planes of Chandler, Joey, Ross, Pheobe, Rachel, and Monica, sadly, we could not go to -if we rolled a natural 20, we got to be GM! luckily, we were using a d100 -We could have got the powers to move as fast as a sloth, to make inaninamte objects sad, or to travel to dimensions that don’t exist

in short, exactly what I was hoping for when I made this blog. All my dreams have come true :’) 

[dalekofchaos]

My problem with Stanley Kubrick’s version of The Shining and why it deserves to be remade

I have a love and hate relationship when it comesto Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. To be clear I do not completely hate it. The atmosphere, the location and aesthetic of The Overlook Hotel and the cinematography of the Kubrick movie is what makes it good and I love it as a horror movie. What makes it bad is calling itself an adaptation of Stephen King’s The Shining but ignoring everything about the book, completely changing the characters and overall butchering the story just to stroke Kubrick’s inflated ego. I think it deserves a good remake that is true to the novel but taking the aspects of the Kubrick movie such as the atmosphere of The Overlook Hotel but staying true to the characters and story of the novel. I did my fancast here.   I like the movie and appreciate it for what it is. I just think it's a failure as an adaptation. It stands on its own very well and deserves its spot on all-time top movie lists.

In Stephen King’s own words. “The book is hot, and the movie is cold; the book ends in fire, and the movie in ice. In the book, there’s an actual arc where you see this guy, Jack Torrance, trying to be good, and little by little he moves over to this place where he’s crazy. And as far as I was concerned, when I saw the movie, Jack was crazy from the first scene. I had to keep my mouth shut at the time. It was a screening, and Nicholson was there. But I’m thinking to myself the minute he’s on the screen, ‘Oh, I know this guy. I’ve seen him in five motorcycle movies, where Jack Nicholson played the same part.’ And it’s so misogynistic. I mean, Wendy Torrance is just presented as this sort of screaming dishrag. But that’s just me, that’s the way I am.”

Stanley Kubrick didn’t respect Stephen King. According to Diane Johnson, the credited screenwriter of THE SHINING, Kubrick was at one point contemplating two different properties at the same time—Stephen King’s novel The Shining and Johnson’s own novel The Shadow Knows.  Kubrick chose King’s novel… then hired Johnson to adapt it.  King had already written a screenplay based on his novel, but Kubrick reportedly discarded it immediately.  Johnson accepted the job, but not without reservations.  In a 2011 interview with Mark Steensland, she conceded that she was “not a big Stephen King fan,” or even a “big horror story fan.”  Furthermore, she thought that THE SHINING novel was “pretentious” and “predictable.”  Not exactly an auspicious beginning.  

The aspects of the supernatural are completely ignored. There are ghosts and The Overlook Hotel is a living entity.  The motivation of the ghosts is to possess Jack Torrance to get him to kill Danny; if Danny dies in the Overlook, his "shining" ability will be absorbed along with all the other awful energies that are manifest there; the hotel itself is a sentient entity and so would become far more powerful and able to extend its powers beyond the confines of its grounds.  The motive is more ambiguous but seems to be to "reclaim" Jack , who is apparently a reincarnation of a previous caretaker of the hotel, as suggested by the 1920s photograph of Jack and Jack's repeated claims to have "not just a deja vu". 

Kubrick did not understand the character of Jack Torrance. King objected to the casting of Jack Nicholson. Jack Torrance in the novel is a good man who made a terrible mistake due to his alcoholism and struggles with being a good man and being good to his family, while Jack struggles with alcoholism and authority issues and the Overlook Hotel slowly drives Jack insane. In King’s own words “The character of Jack Torrance has no arc in that movie. Absolutely no arc at all. When we first see Jack Nicholson, he’s in the office of Mr. Ullman, the manager of the hotel, and you know, then, he’s crazy as a shit house rat. All he does is get crazier. In the book, he’s a guy who’s struggling with his sanity and finally loses it. To me, that’s a tragedy. In the movie, there’s no tragedy because there’s no real change.”  With Nicholson as Jack Torrance, Jack is crazy from the beginning of the movie, doesn’t even seem to like his family and is annoyed by their mere presence. King fought against Nicholson because he’s seen him in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest and Nicholson pretty much plays the same character in every movie and did not fit the character King created. The casting of Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance undermined the moral struggle at the heart of the story. King reportedly tried to get the filmmakers to consider Robert Duvall, Robert De Niro, Jon Voight and Martin Sheen as alternatives to Nicholson. Hell, a friend of mine suggested Christopher Reeve as a good choice to play Jack Torrance and he damn well would have been perfect to play Jack Torrance. But Kubrick’s mind was made up… because, it seems, Kubrick wanted Jack Torrance to be “nuts to begin with.”  The filmmaker said, “Jack comes to the hotel psychologically prepared to do its murderous bidding.  He doesn’t have much further to go from his anger and frustration to become completely uncontrollable.  He is bitter about his failure as a writer.  He is married to a woman with whom he has only contempt.  He hates his son….”  For King, those were fighting words. Especially since The Shining ends with Jack sacrificing himself to save Wendy and Danny and explodes with the Overlook/

The casting, the horrid treatment and portrayal of Shelly Duvall as Wendy Torrance.  In his 1979 interview with Fangoria, King claimed that he saw Wendy Torrance as “a kind of middle-intelligence, beautiful piece.” Stanley Kubrick, however, had a different idea.  He told Soho News, “I think Shelley Duvall, in addition to being a wonderful actress, perfectly embodied the kind of woman who remains married to a man like Jack Torrance, even though she knows he has brutally assaulted their son.  You certainly couldn’t have Jane Fonda play the part; you need someone who is mousy and vulnerable.” not only that, but Kubrick decided to mentally and emotionally torture Shelly Duvall on set.  Apparently, he was determined to help get her into character by browbeating her like an abusive husband.  King’s character would have fought back. Hell I JUST found out that the Supreme Jessica Lange ALMOST played Wendy Torrance and god that would have been perfect, not only would she have been absolutely perfect to play Wendy, but she would not take Kubrick’s bullshit.

Dick Hollarann. In the book.  Danny's shine tell him that he is known as Dick to his friends. Dick also asks Danny if he wants to go to Florida with him multiple times. Danny asks why the woman wanted to get in the car guy's pants. The conversation when Dick explains the shining takes place in his car, and he tests Danny to see how strong his shine is. Also Dick is very friendly and kind to Danny. Dick in the movie.  Dick asks Danny if he wants some Ice Cream. Dick explains the shining in the kitchen and is not very kind to Danny. In the book Dick Hollarann was meant to live. Danny contacted Dick with his shining to save them. He is knocked out by Jack. He rescues Wendy and Danny and goes on to be Danny’s father figure and a positive influence on Danny in Doctor Sleep. In the movie Dick is brought back to the Overlook and killed for no reason. I honestly would be fine with the movie if Dick lived.

The ending. In the ending of the novel. Jack does not kill Dick Hollarann, just knocks him out. He doesn’t kill anyone. The boiler must be dumped several times a day or it will explode. After his mental breakdown from the ghosts of the overlook, Jack regains his sanity and  tells Danny and Wendy to get out and tries to relieve the pressure in the boiler. He fails and the building explodes killing him. In general, Stephen King’s problem with Stanley Kubrick’s THE SHINING is that it’s too “cold.”  In the end the characters succumb to the malevolent influences of the Overlook, and there is no indication that their story could end any other way.  According to King, Kubrick had always planned to change the ending of the novel.  In 1978 the novelist said that the filmmaker initially “asked me for my opinion on Hallorann becoming possessed, and then finishing the job that Torrance started, killing Danny, Wendy, and lastly himself.”  Kubrick envisioned a coda in which the family would appear as ghosts, now permanently trapped in the Overlook.  King responded that “audiences would have his head if faced with the slaughter of characters they cared about.”King himself had already wrestled with the possibility of a tragic ending to his story.    He told interviewer Marty Ketchum that, when he was writing the novel, “the original plan was for them all to die up there and for Danny to become the controlling force of the hotel after he died.”  When it came time to write the words, however, King couldn’t do it.  The note of hope at the end of The Shining novel is emblematic of the general “warmth” of Stephen King’s work.  He is a romantic and a guarded optimist.  Kubrick, it seems, was not.

[gavinhalm]

The Ambiguous Labyrinth: “Night and the City” and Film Noir

When one thinks of Film Noir as a genre, the first thing that comes to mind is a plot driven by a detective's desire to solve a crime committed by sub-characters trapped in situations they have little control over but have exacerbated to a large extent, thus creating a moral ambiguity for the viewer to ponder. 

Another trope within Film Noir is the lighting and camera work; much of it inherited from a vast array of German Expressionist movie-makers, which mostly consists of low and abstract angles utilizing wide-angle lenses, and is often set up to be reflective of the psychological mood and dualistic moral situation of the main character. This is, in part, graphically signified by stark light and dark contrasts on the character's face via such things as Venetian blinds, etc.

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At first glance, Night and the City fits squarely within these formalistic constructs, yet the figure of Harry constitutes a bit of an anomaly within the genre. Not only is he far from the usual detective characterization, he seems to have more in common with the sub-characters rendered in other examples of Noir. 

In fact, he is the epitome of an anti-hero wrestling with his inner nature (something akin to a struggling artist recklessly searching for his "voice", as his romantic rival posits in the film) and who creates havoc not only for himself, but for his "friends" and loved ones to the point where we as viewers hardly have any sympathy for him in the murderous end. 

Indeed, this type of characterization and outcome has more in common with later "Neo-Noirs", such as Woody Allen's Match Point, where a morally ambiguous character plays with the audience's affection and trust to an uncomfortable breaking point, thus leaving the viewer’s feelings toward the protagonist suspended between relief and outright loathing.

The lighting in Night and the City is also something of a different order altogether. Whereas a "typical" Noir will use stark nocturnal effects of light and dark signifying the "good and bad" morality of a character, here there is hardly such optical reflectivity of psychological states. Instead, we have a situation where the protagonist moves in-and-out of light and dark, night and day without too much metaphorical regard to his situation (for instance, when rummaging around in his girlfriend's apartment looking to steal some cash from her, the girl’s apartment is well lit with hardly a shadow cast).

Perhaps the only solid connection this film has to "typical" descriptions of Noir is in the rendering of the city as a constricted space of moral and physical trauma; its snaking paths through alleyways and nocturnal scenery render it very capable of being a paragon of the genre. 

Yet, upon further reflection, one must take issue with such critics as Paul Arthur who see Night and the City as reflective of an urban labyrinth with "(n)early every setting...crammed with architectural grids, frames, cul-de-sacs, narrow stairways, (and) perspectives (which) choke off the mobility and freedom of (the) human subjects". Though it is true there is a constrictive circularity reflected in the various paths Harry takes though the city (and towards his fate), the geographic spatiality hardly constricts him (and the viewer) in the same way the near-contemporaneous Kiss Me Deadly does, in which the camera rarely looks up from either the ground or immediate architectural space, thus hermetically sealing the main character and audience within the box of the plot. 

Indeed, there are several moments in Night and the City that show a far-off London, and by implication, a way out and into the countryside (this is especially true in the final scene by the Thames River). Though this could be seen as alluding to the futility of Henry ever thinking he can escape, it hardly proposes the strict labyrinthian bondage Arthur finds within the film.

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In closing, one can certainly see why Night and the City is often considered a classic of the genre (though, early on it was not given the critical due it deserved), with its amoral characters, use of the city, and cinematographic style. But, upon further reflection it seems to sit uncomfortably within the typical descriptions reserved for Noir, and as such illuminates the continuing battle that exists in trying to empirically define this unique and popular genre.

Sources:

Ballinger, Alexander, and Danny Graydon (2007). The Rough Guide to Film Noir. London: Rough Guides.

Night and the City: In the Labyrinth. Essay from the insert for The Criterion Collection DVD