#he actually considered half killing someone to get back home

[wandixx]

Justice League never helped Amity Park.

Why?

They genuinely didn't need any help, it was one of the most normal and safe town in America.

Other than Jack Fenton on the road hazard but it's not like he can break walls with his orange jeep, is it? It's too little to get JL on it.

Okay, so what does Phantom do right outside of the Watchtower drinking Capri sun? Is it related to how horrified Flash is, running around meeting room like he tries to wear down the floor?

Why yes, absolutely. You see dear traveler, Ghost child is just not from this timeline.

He is from the other one. The intense one. The one, where Amazonians were at war with Atlanteans, where there was no line Batman wouldn't cross, where doctors Fenton didn't stop their research after their dearest friend had accident.

Yeah, that's the one. One that Barry created by saving his mother and the one he allegedly destroyed.

How do they tell the stressed ghost child that timeline he lived in ceased to exist?

*~*~*

Maybe I'm not clear enough but yeah. Phantom is from other timeline but as I heard, Dan shoved time medalion into Danny's chest so now our boi has wonky relationship with time. When Barry erased "wrong timeline", Danny got yote into his time and was confused. Like, one day he wakes up in the middle of the nowhere because of some shit and isn't even surprised at first but then realises something is off. Especially when he gets to the nearest town. Things are all sorts of wrong, like:

There is less ambient ectoplasm in the air.

Meme references are just not right.

There is no supernatural war.

Nobody is trying to post mortem murder him for being a ghost.

There are a lot more heroes and the ones he knew are different, like, why is Batman suddenly so much against killing?

So he goes of to find Amity and see which one's of the ghosts bullshit he has to clean up this time, only to see his city... Normal? Happy even? No broken pavements or anti ghost tech? No teenage stans? No alive food? His parents are more of the local handymen than mad scientists?! There is SECOND HIM, who isn't a ghost in the slightest?!

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AND HOW DOES HE FIX IT?!

Because yeah, this world seems nicer than real one, but he just can't stay here. Ghosts are probably wrecking havoc in his Amity again and he needs to get back now.

Just question is how, because it starts to look like whole new world and not some weird hallucination or Desiree doing her shit again. However so much things is similar that he assumes it's different timeline. He dealt with these before, once, but he managed. He just needed to find this Clockwork guy that showed up last time and learn what he has to do to fix it.

Wait, his parents here didn't made portal and Vlad didn't either because they're actually kind of trisome (ew) and he didn't have enough time. That's alright, Danny was raised in the shadow of the portal, he knew everything about it by heart. He could built it on his own.

Wait, portal needs and sacrifice. Can he use this world's himself as a sacrifice? He could probably ask these heroes for help but on the other hand he really doesn't want to do this to him. Being Phantom majorly sucks ass and he is jealous but he knows better than to destroy other his life over it.

Before he can resolve his dilemma, something he does pings Justice League's radar and Flash is send to investigate. Thank ancients it's him because allegedly other heroes wouldn't really get it. But it was Flash who somehow gets at least part of it, gives him a food and takes him to the space station (in space!). Now they have meeting about him and he has best view of stars he could ever imagine. Even though they're a little different than he remembers from back home.

.

Hope you enjoyed this little idea and maybe can add to the shenanigans. Comments and reblogs are whole yours.

I hope I'm englishing correctly and won't see too many spelling or grammatical mistakes when I wake up in the morning

Have a great whatever part of day it is to you

[babyleostuff]

baby, you’re a drunk mess

fluff 𐙚 established relationship 𐙚 idol!wonwoo x fem!reader 𐙚 wc: 958

. . . being drunk is not that bad when you have wonwoo to take care of you

wonwoo knew exactly how this night would end the second he received a message from seungcheol, inviting you over for a drink. it never ended with only a drink. 

„baby, lean on me,” wonwoo grabbed you tighter by your waist, as you stumbled over your own feet, trying to act as if you weren't totally waisted. “i’m going to kill mingyu for making her play that drinking game”. 

„m’ fine,” you mumbled. „see, i can walk on m’ own,” you took his hand that was resting on your hip, and shoved it away, taking a step forward. wonwoo smirked at your weak attempt to push him away, considering you were drunk out of your mind, but your confidence that you were so much stronger than him was truly comical. he knew he shouldn’t have let you go, but maybe if you eventually ran into a wall or something you’d cooperate better because there was no way he’d get you home with you acting like this. 

wonwoo could only shake his head in amusement, while following your every slow step. there was no way he’d actually let you fall. „you’re doing great, sweetie, but let me help you, hm?” you whipped your head around, glaring at him. „i can do it,” you hiccuped, „on m’ own,” you said, but as you took another step, you stumbled once again, falling right back into your boyfriend’s embrace. 

„are you done?” he shifted you around, so he could hold you properly, taking most of your body weight on him. you nodded, and put your hands around his bicep, finally calming down. wonwoo slowly started walking towards your apartment, holding you tenderly, and even though he didn't have to see your drooping eyelids, he could feel your energy dropping with every step. 

somehow he managed to open the door and get you to the bed without either of you falling over. "okay, now let's lie down," he said quietly so as not to startle you, seeing that you were already half asleep. you nodded weakly, and with his help, you finally managed to lie on the bed.

wonwoo stroked your head gently and kissed your slightly sweaty forehead before turning on the bedside lamp next to the bed so he could turn off the main light and enflug your room into soft darkness.

„wonwoo,” you called softly. 

„i’ll be right back baby, we have to wipe your makeup off.”

after turning off the light, he quickly went to the bathroom where he took all the things he would need to put you to sleep. "i'm coming," he said, grabbing one of his t-shirts and hoodies from the closet in case you were cold at night (especially since he knew that when you were drunk you became clingier and wearing his clothes always made you so happy). 

he put all the things on the bed and grabbed your hands. "come on honey, you need to change." happy that you were cooperating so much better than you were fifteen minutes ago, he easily helped you change into his clothes and placed you back on the pillows so he could wash off your makeup.

“you don't have to do this, wonwoo,” you whispered, but when he placed a cotton pad on your face, you closed your eyes and sighed, grateful that you had someone who could take care of you so well. "Was I very insufferable today?"

wonwoo didn’t even move, he just continued to focus on your face, slowly removing more of the makeup from your face. "you're never insufferable," he said. "don't ever say that."

"i know, but i feel like i ruined your night because you have to take care of me and-"

"do you want me to get mad at you?" he asked sharply, looking straight into your tired eyes. "you didn't ruin my night. being with my brothers and you at the same time is the biggest gift from the universe, no matter how drunk you are. i'm your boyfriend, i'm here to take care of you, just like you take care of me ,” he said, throwing out a used cotton pad. "should i remind you how many things you do for me when i'm busy at work? how you prepare my food for rehearsals, and how you do my laundry when i'm too tired to do it? when you listen to me complain for hours about how exhausted i am?"

"baby, drunk or not, i will always take care of you, and not because i have to, or because it's my duty, but because i love you," he said with sincerity in his eyes, and despite your not-so-sober state, you didn't miss his look full of love. "seeing you having fun with my friends means everything to me." you nodded slightly in understanding. what did you do to deserve jeon wonwoo?

"okay, make-up removed, clothes changed, do you need anything else?"

"maybe water?"

"of course, let’s just get you under the covers."

after covering you up, wonwoo went out to the kitchen to get a glass of water and painkillers for tomorrow morning and returned to your bedroom.

“okay, now we can-,” his words faltered when he saw you already asleep, your hand on his pillow, and you snuggled into yours. he placed the glass and pills on your bedside table quietly, and turned off the light before lying on his side of the bed, lifting your hand and placing it on his stomach. almost as if you knew in your sleep that he was next to you, you placed your head on his chest, treating it like your new, comfy pillow.

"i'm a drunk mess," you whispered after a while, kissing his jaw.

"yes. but you're my drunk mess."

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111 @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings

[undiscovered-horizon]

Hi! I really enjoy your one piece writings, they have given me so much comfort when I don't feel okay 😭

Can I please get a Mihawk (I'm completely in love w this man aah) imagine where his wife is a sensitive person who gets sad when someone is rude to them but they feel insecure couse they think it's stupid

Thank youuuuuu ❤️🥺

First of all, I'm honoured that I can provide a source of comfort to you. I'm glad my work has made you feel better in your time of need.

Second of all: oh yessss bestie this hits the spot. It also reminds me of a wonderful scene in The Gentlemen (10/10, highly recommend) [it also hits close to home because I am a sensitive person]

The thing about strong people is that they make others want to be just as strong, which isn't always easy if even possible. You've always known you're a little 'softer' than most people but only after marrying Mihawk did you find the difference in temperament bothersome. Instead of considering your sensitivity a fact of nature, you've begun to find it a flaw, something that you should change about yourself.

You've never admitted it to yourself but the truth is plain and simple - you think it's embarrassing. That Mihawk will find your sensitivity embarrassing. Maybe if you had been up-front about it with your husband, you'd learn that he adores your soft heart. If he felt forthcoming enough, perhaps you'd even hear that you're the source of warmth and light in his life. Hence he calls you his 'sun'.

To say that Mihawk grew concerned when he heard your muffled sobs would be like not saying anything. A delicious euphemism at best. Anger and fear bubble inside his chest. There's a strange itch in his hands that eggs him to wreak havoc.

"Apple of my eye," his voice carries well through the rather empty room you're both staying at currently. "What is the meaning of this?"

Frantically wiping away your tears, you look over your shoulder to meet his gaze. Mihawk is leaning against the doorframe, blocking the entrance if you so wish to run away from this situation.

"Oh, it's nothing. Really, I'm alright. No need to worry," you half-heartedly attempt to reassure him.

The swordsman loudly exhales through his nose. He's your husband, worrying about you is his duty. In slow steps, Mihawk walks over to the edge of the bed where you're sitting. Pride and titles as if forgotten, he drops on one knee in front of you. One of his hands gently squeezes your knee.

Unsure what's the best way to go about these circumstances, you timidly meet his intense gaze. The passion in his yellow eyes makes you think of a maelstrom captured in a jar - something devastating held back by a miracle. He's already seething, just doesn't yet know who exactly to direct his violence at.

"Indulge me," he prompts you to confide in him. There's a rare sense of pleading in his tone.

So indulge him you do - you tell Mihawk all about the unpleasant encounter with a local tearaway. Your husband tries his best to control his expression as you recount the unambiguously offensive words, unwanted touches and threats of real violence coming from someone who was probably looking for a cowardly scapegoat to vent his anger. As you continue your story, tears just keep rolling down your cheeks, fear and humiliation finally finding their way out of your heart.

"I know I'm being stupid," you mumble as you clumsily wipe your face, "he was just rude and it's not like he actually hurt me but-"

Mihawk's touch makes you cut your sentence short. His hand, its skin rough and calloused, gently cups the side of your face. Your hot, salty tears disperse as his thumb slowly rubs them away. Something about the tenderness of his touch, of hands that have killed and maimed, is enough to make you feel like you're about to break in his arms. Even if you do, you know that when dawn breaks you will be whole again, put back together with the unending love Mihawk holds for you.

"You've always been too good, my sun," he tells you in a low voice. He could have said 'too soft' or 'too sensitive' but then his remark would come off as deceitful as it would suggest his dislike towards your nature. Nothing of that sort - Mihawk genuinely thinks you're a better person than most people walking this plane. And he'd rather succumb to torture than let anyone make you feel bad about that.

The man leans in and places his warm lips against your forehead. Without much effort, he lays you down on the bed and you let him. Even if you wanted to fight back, you're way too tired to do so.

He's sitting on the edge of the bed, caressing your face, neck, arms and back as he's waiting for you to fall asleep. The anticipation doesn't require much patience - Mihawk's tender touches lull you to peaceful slumber rather swiftly. When he's sure that you're asleep, he kisses your forehead again before cautiously leaving the bedroom and closing the door behind him.

Perhaps he can't turn back the time and make the offending man choke on his words but he can ensure that the tearway won't hurt you ever again. Someone resting in peace so you can rest peacefully is a good bargain.

Mihawk knows exactly who he's looking for. He made a note of a certain characteristic trait you had mentioned - an earring with a single, red-coloured feather. It doesn't seem like a piece of jewellery that would be common anywhere.

It doesn't take much to find the tearaway. He makes his presence well-known as he stumbles out of a tavern, his legs almost giving away with each step.

So he assaults random women minding their business and then gets blackout drunk. It's pathetic enough to consider his death merciful.

Staying true to his name, the swordsman stalks his prey before lunging. Appearing as another patron of the inn, Mihawk follows the stranger around the corner towards barns, stables and pigstys. Fitting place for the likes of him, Dracule thinks to himself.

The man with the curious earring staggers his way towards a drinking trough. He's fumbling with his pants, desperately trying to pull them down to relieve himself but his fingers are not dextrious enough.

Mihawk picks up the pitchfork leaning against the barn wall. In one, swift motion he gores the tool through the back of the man's knee. A guttural scream tears through the night as he falls to the ground.

The swordsman grabs a fistful of the tearaway's hair. He forces the kneeling man to look up into his seething, yellow eyes.

"Do I owe you money?" The man is slurring his words. He squints his eyes, trying to focus his hazy vision on Mihawk and, possibly, recognize his creditor. "It's money, isn't it? Shit, just give me two days, man. I'll give it back with interest."

"I don't care about money."

Instantaneously, panic appears in the tearaway's eyes. Did he just find himself in the same position he's put hundreds of people in to cure his own boredom and need for grandiosity?

"Then what it is?!" he shouts, fear settling in his viscera. Dracule's calmness put together with the sheer hatred emanating from him makes for a deeply unsettling impression.

"You hurt my wife," comes the answer. The fist clenching the man's hair tightens its hold further, threatening to tear off his scalp. "My wife," Mihawk growls.

But before the tearaway can ask for clarification, his head is forced into the drinking trough. Surprised and scared, oxygen is escaping him fast. Soon, his throat and chest begin to clench and throb painfully. Dark spots dance across his vision, foreboding blindness.

Then, Mihawk pulls his head just above the surface. The man desperately gasps for air.

"If you believe in a god," the swordsman begins in a low voice shaking with anger and adrenaline, "I suggest you start praying. Fast."

The tearaway's head is forced underwater again but this time, Mihawk keeps it there until the ruffian's body stops trembling and shaking. After that, Dracule waits for a while longer - just for good measure.

You're woken up by the creaking of doors as they slowly open. Blinking sleep away from your eyes, you look over your shoulder only to experience a sort of deja vu: Mihawk is standing in the doorway. Before you can ask about his strange behaviour, your husband makes his way to you in long, quick strides. He kneels on the floor beside the bed.

Mihawk takes your hand in his. He takes something out of his pocket and places it in your palm. You recognize the red feather earring immediately. And is that... a piece of skin still attached to it? Gently, your husband closes your fist and lifts your hand to place a chaste kiss on your knuckles.

"The rat has paid for its sins," he whispers to you. Judging by the intense look in his eyes, you don't want to know the details of this story.

[senseandaccountability]

“Is this truly our prodigal son?” - meta ramblings about Astarion and Cazador and breaking vicious cycles

“I didn’t have a choice… but it seems now I do.” Astarion is indeed the prodigal son in the sense that he has to return to his home in order to find himself and his purpose. 

For at least half the game, he is - at least outwardly - what he has been made to be. A pretty facade to be consumed. In the mirror he doesn’t see himself, he remembers nothing of his past, he can’t even read the words etched into his own back - he is, in all aspects, unwritten, unmade until he starts walking back into his own life. Reclaiming it. Or rather - remaking it. Because there is nothing sustainable there to reclaim, his heritage from Cazador contains nothing but death and violence. And power built on those two ingredients. Even when he claims that’s what he wants - power, walking in the sun, to never be afraid of anyone again, you can hear how hollow the desire is. Isn’t this what you want for me? he asks Tav, equal parts manipulation and the fact that he probably has no idea whatsoever how to figure out if he wants something like that for himself. He’s never had the luxury of choice. Shouldn’t I want this? When Tav later says that considering slaughter of seven thousand spawns isn’t who Astarion truly is he doesn’t even say she’s wrong, he replies: IT SHOULD BE.

“If I can’t have my freedom, then neither can they.”

Astarion is also, to use the same religious myth, the son who remained behind and keeps count. He counts the injustices done to him, he compares, he gathers bitterness and lust for revenge over two hundred years. Nobody ever did anything to help him. Nobody came to his rescue - he even says so himself early in the game that no hero saved him, it was the mindflayers who did. He admits to Gale that he’s prayed to all deities - but no one answered. When Tav prods about the countless of spawn he’ll sacrifice for his own ritual he brings up the same argument - what about what he’s owed? Everything was taken from him, too!

“You’d almost feel sorry for the poor, deluded souls. But they’re idiots who brought this on themselves, so… don’t.” 

Astarion doesn’t want to identify with the victims because then he has to identify as a victim. (Or even worse, someone who willingly accepted the offer of a vampire, aka idiot who brought this on himself.) And no matter how much he talks about what Cazador put him through, he’s not ready to do that, not fully. Instead he pushes them further away from himself, especially as his guilt and pain and self-loathing gets poured into preparing for the Ascension. That one thing that will finally separate him from everyone else, make him safe and untouchable. The others, the victims, they’re weak, pathetic, nothing like him at all, they’re too far gone, they’re different, they couldn’t survive out there so it’s better he kills them so they serve a purpose. It’s not exactly subtext, either, Tav can outright ask him if he really intends to kill them just because they remind him of himself and his voice breaks when he answers that. “They do not. That weakness inside me is dead. It’s dead. I have a higher purpose.” He comes a little bit closer to breaking out of his cycle with the Gur children, they happened not that long ago, he’s visibly moved by the fact that he had forgotten them and felt nothing when he delivered them and when Tav asks about his feelings on the subject, he admits: “I just… I never want to see these little scraps of misery again. The world doesn’t need to know my shame.”

But it takes the encounter with Cazador to truly break out of the pattern.

“Did I not make you who you are?” “Do not slouch before me, boy! Have you no respect for yourself?” he snaps at Astarion when you first enter his ritual. And when the camera pans to Astarion, so full of rage and fully intent on killing Cazador with his bare hands if he has to, we see that he actually does slouch. He’s that boy again.

He’s returned, the boy who caused so much trouble, who screamed the sweetest when he was tortured, who was thrown into a tomb for a year for refusing his order and who eventually stopped fighting back. Godey says: “You always were sharp, little one. Sharp enough to cut yourself.” The boy who Cazador tried to make something of, but to no avail. He was incorrigible. “I fondly remember your empty boasting, your tired jokes, your endless prattle…” All abuse aside, Cazador hurts Astarion in that precise way only a parental figure can hurt a child - through constant disappointment, the cruelty of not caring. The parent that only punishes, that sees nothing but faults. He even tells Astarion that he ought to be begging their forgiveness for coming crawling back after abandoning them. “Forgiveness? You’ve never forgiven anything.” / “No! No, fuck you and fuck everything you’ve ever done to me.”

“I’m so much more than what you made me,” Astarion tells Cazador when he finally has him on his knees, one last attack away from getting the revenge he’s dreamed of for two hundred years. When he asks Tav for help he - again - brings up the “isn’t this what you want?” Because even if he knows he’s more than what Cazador created him to be, he doesn’t know what that “much more” consists of yet. If you detect his thoughts at that moment you learn that he’s afraid, hungry, intoxicated. That all he can see is the power of the ritual and the freedom to do anything - to be anything.

“I want you to live a life you’re proud of,” Tav pleads. “You can’t be proud of this.” Tav who sees someone else in him, a way forward that isn't steeped in Cazador's tyranny. Tav, who treats him like a person, with autonomy.

“I know you think this will set you free, but it won’t. The power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador.” And it was this Astarion required to truly remake his life. Returning as the prodigal son to the place that was his home, where he was taught he amounted to nothing, that he was a means to an end, that the only way to ever feel safe in life is to hold power over someone else. 

That’s why I found his “No! No, fuck you and fuck everything you’ve done to me” so powerful, because it’s it’s much more than an insult or a protest. It’s an acknowledgement that you were hurt and that you didn’t deserve it. 

And by extension here - that you’ve hurt others in turn and they didn’t deserve it, either. That perhaps you are just the same as the weak, pathetic spawn in the dungeons. That perhaps we all are. That perhaps the true power lies in daring to hope. For forgiveness, for understanding, for more people out there to have a heart like Tav’s. That you, if you’re given a chance to make choices for yourself, can make a life you can feel proud of. Even if it means you have to let others see your shame. To care again is to live again, like Tav says while they're exploring casa Cazador. And Astarion wants to feel alive.

When you can make Astarion realise he can be better than Cazador, he immediately shows  protectiveness towards the spawn, telling his siblings to lead them to the Underdark and then telling the truth to the Gur but making sure to point out that if they come hunting - they’re hunting their own children. Cazador’s been dead for a couple of minutes and Astarion is already doing a better job as some sort of wretched father figure for these poor souls. Because he's given them freedom to make their own choices, treated them as equals. Shown them the care nobody ever showed him before. That's how you break cycles and pack one hell of an emotional punch. Fuck you and fuck everything you’ve done to me, indeed.

[wolfnight2012]

Yes, Nandor fell to his knees when the Baron dumped "Guillermo's" body in the foyer. (In Front Of his entire family [sans Colin Robinson] and the Baron!) As if he could no longer bring himself to care about who saw him break down/how weak he might be perceived

Yes, cradled (what he thought was) Guillermo's dead body

Yes, his little half-sobbed "Oh, no" was very telling & heartbreaking

But let's talk about his positively distraught cries when he thought Laszlo was gonna desecrate Guillermo's corpse???

Because that's Guillermo to him. As in, that's still Guillermo to Nandor, even as a corpse.

And that's not something we see often with vampires in the wwdits world

Vampires here seem to simply accept death & move on. Once someone/something is considered dead, it is time to move on

Our main characters do it with the Baron. He gets fried to a crisp, they bury him, say a few half-hearted words, and move on (he's Nadja's sire! He had a trist with both her and Laszlo. He's like, their unofficial superior/boss, in that he can order them to take over North America & just like, move into their home?)

They do it with Colin Robinson, twice! Both when he fakes his death in 2x05 (simply bury him & say a few words) and to a lesser(ish) extent when he "dies" on his 100th birthday (few words, few sentimental touches & thats it, we move on)

Nadja does it with her reincarnated lover, able to drop him/forget about him the moment he dies

iirc, the only instances that don't follow this pattern is when the dead person isn't considered truly dead (yet)

Nandor wastes no real time grieving Gail, because she's not dead dead (yet) he can fix her! She's temporarily not alive at worst.

Topher, similarly, can be revived (or so they think) so he's not dead dead either, because he can be fixed. Once its clear he can't be truly fixed, they can easily discard & forget about him.

Young Colin Robinson isn't dead dead either. His adult self is alive & well (and back) Laszlo is simply grieving the fatherhood/son that only exists in his memories.

Guillermo is dead dead. Either because vampirism only takes immediately after death or because the Baron would simply kill him again, turning him into a vampire isn't an option. (And I like to think they learned their lesson with the necromancer/zombie!Topher)

Guillermo is dead dead & everyone reacts accordingly: the Baron chills out immediately, even feeling a little bad (not for Guillermo's death, he was only a familiar after all) for causing a fellow vampire/one of the vampires he's arguably closer to pain

Nadja (who was fighting & scheming & panicked to save him) declares he should be buried before he starts to stink. She might care about Guillermo & consider him family (even if she'd never say those actual words) but the body on the floor isn't Guillermo anymore, it's just a corpse that needs disposing.

Meanwhile, Nandor has accepted Guillermo's death; he's not planning on how to revive him/bring him back.

Guillermo is dead dead.

But Nandor is still protective of what he should only consider to be a corpse now. That's still Guillermo to him.

He cradles him up off the floor. He gently brushes his hair back. He's distraught at the thought of Laszlo cutting him up, even in death.

Anyways, there's zero chance of Nandor trying to kill Guillermo in earnest. That man could not handle the emotional toll

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Here In Your Arms: Charles LecLerc

Formula One Masterlist

word count: 700

prompts used: Tell me about your day baby, let me make it better + You're home early! featuring Character B shuffling into Character A's arms

a/n: had a stressful few days at work and wished that someone could've taken care of me :(

You were absolutely exhausted by the time you reached home, you were supposed to be let off nearly an hour and half ago but had to stay because some needed to go home more than you apparently. This was still early considering when you normally got off work but when you've been at work since 7 this morning and told that you were getting off at 4:30 only not to get off until 5:20, you would be exhausted and ready to climb into bed. You quietly grabbed your bags, and walked up to your house, where you opened the door and walked in dropping your bags by the door. 

"Hey baby, you're home early!" Your boyfriend Charles said. 

You didn't said anything but instead quietly made your way into his arms and let out a huge sigh as you felt him wrap his arms around you. He gently rocked you guys for a few minutes as he rubbed your back trying to help ease some of the stress off your body. 

"Tell me about your day baby, let me make it better." He said. 

"It was exhausting we were short staffed which isn't shocking, corporate came today, three kids got sick which reminds me I shouldn't even be touching you, and I got yelled at for sitting so my feet are killing me and let's not forget I was supposed to get off at 4:30 and didn't get off until 5:30 because apparently others needed to go home more than me." You said running a hand through your hair. 

"I'm sorry that happened baby, why don't you take a seat on the couch while I draw up a bath for you to help relax your muscles? And once you are nice and relaxed we can order some takeout and watch a movie or something if you would like that?" He asked me. 

"I would love that but first I need a kiss or two." I said looking at him with a smile. 

"I can happily help with that." He said with a smile as he placed a few kisses on my lips and then all over my face making me giggle. 

"There's that beautiful laugh. Take a seat on the couch and rest your feet while I draw you a baby, okay?" He asked as you nodded your head. 

A few minutes later, he came back and picked you bridal style refusing to let you be on your feet any longer today and carried you to the bathroom. He set you gently on your feet, helping your undress and helping you into the tub. 

"Take your time and relax baby, I'll be here when you are done." He said to you. 

"Actually bubs, do you think you could stay here in with me and tell me about your day?" You asked looking up at him.

"Of course I can baby." He said taking a seat by the tub and telling you all about his day. 

After about thirty minutes you were relaxed and ready to get and hungry as you and your boyfriend heard your stomach growling. He helped you out and dried you off before letting you get dressed before you guys made your way towards y'all's room. 

"Baby you know what sounds good?" You asked him. 

"What's that sweetheart?" He asked you. 

"Pizza." You said with a smile as you two took a seat on your bed. 

"I was hoping you say that." He said with a smile as a knock came to the front door. 

You watched as he disappeared out of y'all's room and then a few minutes later he returns with food from y'all's favorite pizza place. 

"I had a feeling that you might want pizza tonight. So while I was drawing your bath, I ordered our usual. I hope it's alright?" He asked taking a seat next to you on the bed and placing the food in front of you. 

"I love how you can read my mind, this is perfect. Thank you." You said leaning over and pressing a kiss to his lips. 

[queersouthasian]

Ok so, I have come across some "ok but why would Charlie risk HIS life just like that" takes, and here is this thing,

What did Charlie plan to do in the first place?

He approached babe to earn his trust so that he could warn him about tony when required while keeping track with tony's shit, and took away his powers 'cause that would divert the attention from babe, why? Charlie wanted to protect babe from being potentially R worded by a possible Enigma considering he didn't even knew who that was. He would not let an innocent person be used so mercilessly and especially a child. I believe Charlie's initial plan was not that far-fetched, but he got entranged once he fell for babe. On top of that unfortunately, his plan got outed. He, who at first just wanted to protect an innocent person from something so terrible is now protecting his lover, he would not only protect babe by becoming the target but would "kill" himself so no one can take advantage of either him or the child.

Now why so much for babe?

Charlie has been alone all his life just the way Babe was, even if Babe was physically surrounded by people, 24/7, babe was emotionally unavailable or he made himself distant because reasons, Way pretty much added onto that. Charlie just had Jeff by his side and half of his life just like jeff and babe was wasted on top of that, he was kicked out because he was not "special", I believe Charlie had always considered himself worthless 'cause he was raised under the impression that if you are not special you don't deserve a home (sold basically but whatever), while others had powers which could benefit in some way or other (like jeff's powers can be used to deflect something bad from happening, or how babe could use his powers to race or be aware of problems etc) Charlie could absorb powers, basically steal from others and knowing how he is, he most probably hated that. Do y'all remember how many times babe told him that charlie matters to him more than his powers and how his life is worth more than just what he thinks? yeah. Charlie who most definitely disliked his powers, most definitely felt worthless considering how little he thinks about himself (even before falling for babe,cause he wanted to keep Jeff out of this and wanted to do everything alone, remember?) , fell for this man who loves him for him, who loves every little bit of him, he loves his torn pieces, loves his smile, loves his aura, loves him as a person and just adores him more than anyone ever. Babe sees charlie as this adorable puppy who loves him beyond love itself and he does too. This unfiltered love is enough to make one feel that they are worth it, this unconditional adoration makes Charlie feel full, finally loved and seen, finally understood. So he thinks a person who loves him so much deserves a life way better than this, babe deserves to wake up without the fear of someone hunting him down, without the knowledge that someone is planning to brutally hurt him, he deserves a better life. Maybe Charlie thinks Babe would find 1000 different Charlies cause he is so ordinary, so simple, but he would not find another pit babe. And he would do anything to give babe the life he deserves, he knows his death is going to ultimately stop tony and babe would get his powers back without anyone realising, and that's his ver. of perfect ending.

But babe actually will never find another Charlie. Someone who sees him beyond the "king of hallows", beyond the tough exterior he puts up, someone who would hold him, kiss him, love him to this extent. Charlie doesn't realise that maybe he is ordinary for others but not for babe, he is beyond special for him, beyond the title of just a lover for him.

[dairy-farmer]

Haven't preached the gospel of Civilian Tim in a while >.> my boy would be so disappointed in me. I forgot about my boy! <:O

So consider!

Smol Tim! Knows he has to be SUUUPER careful. Mrs. Mac or his parents COULD find his Batman Notes and collection of blurry Baby's First Photographs, after all. So he keeps it vague. Never any names. Cryptic references. The works. Nothing that someone who doesn't know what HE knows, would understand.

But! He's also slightly less athletic then Cannon Tim. Or perhaps, Mrs. Mac is slightly less oblivious. She suspects Somethings Up(tm). Gets that distinct wiff of "child doing something they know they shouldn't behind my back". So waits in her car one night instead of actually going home like she usually does.

Oh dear lord.

Is he SNEAKING OUT!?

TIMMY!!!

Unfortunately, she picks the worst time to startle him. He's half way down the wall, having avoided the already Alarm Primed front door, from the SECOND FLOOR. The small child falls. Eats it, crushing a decorative bush.

This does NOT calm Mrs. Mac down.

He gets a concussion and one of two DOZEN hysterical calls to his parents from Mrs. Mac at the hospital. They think he's dying. Drop everything and rush back.

Are FURIOUS but relieved he's mostly okay.

His Dad, determined to figure out what the FUCK he thought he was doing, finds his Batman stuff. Tim sits, woozy, and wonders if he's watching his parent's Villian origin story as they rage and curse Batman out. His mom wants to shoot him.

It's decided (for him, no he does NOT get a say) that he is NOT staying in Gotham. Where God forsaken furries stalk the night, tempting innocent people's sons into running around the crumbling rooftops and too their early graves. Absolutely not. Tim is going to boarding school.

Tim doesn't WANT to go to boarding school.

But he doesn't get a say.

However... his parents? Do seem really excited? And spend lots of time with him looking over the options. Telling him stories about trips they took to countries near by. It's... it's actually kinda exciting. Nice, even.

And boarding school isn't even that bad.

No one makes fun of him for being quite or "new money". He makes friends. His parents VISIT since the airport isn't too far and they can plan lay-overs through it. He slowly forgets about the Heros of Gotham.

There are local Heros. They kinda suck. He keeps trying to send them notes on how to improve but somehow? They interpret it as a threat? God, they are dumb.

The trip that should have killed his parents? Never happens. Because there was an important event at the School and then CERTAIN local idiots failed to stop their telekinetic Villian from destroying all the planes. By the time his parents managed to reschedule? The local police in Haiti were desperately calling to warn them to Stay Put.

He graduates. Heads... well, he guesses "Home"? Back to Gotham. After a decade away. It's still just as Gothic, shitty, and creepy as always. His parents are out on their new dig, so? Place to himself~ Sweet.

Even if his old room is basicly untouched. Kiddy sheets and all. He'll need new everything. Which? As he pokes around? Leads him to finding his own HIGHLY Creepy? Cryptic, Possibly-Haunted, Horror Movie Notes(tm).

Baby Tim... WTF.

He remembers these. Remembers understanding them...

Does... NOT understand them now.

Huh.

He can? Sort of decipher them. Based off what he knows about himself at that age? It's "something, something, circus, something, Wayne's." And this other one just references Bats, which... kinda obvious. This is all clearly about BATman.

The question is? Does he CARE?

.....maybe a little bit.

Curse his insatiable curiosity. He collects Baby Him's creepy notes. The horror movie photographs. Starts making a list of furniture he'll need, and... Ding~ Dong~! Door? Who in gods name would be at the DOOR? Houses around here are massively spaced out.

He goes to check.

Standing there, in their work out clothes, is the unfairly gorgeous Dickie Wayne and sharply handsome young blood son, Damian Wayne. Life long neighbors. Haven't seen one of them since childhood, the other at ALL. Why are they at his house?

Hi?

Dickie is like getting hit by a semi-truck of Friendly. Tim feels an almost feline urge to hiss and bite the man to make him back off. The blood son just watchs. Sharp gaze an unfairly beautiful green, as he just? Seems to observe and consider. So, clearly no help there.

Dickie seems to think Tim is moving in? Is new? Wow. Way to be observant. Dude, the Drake's have lived next to your family since BEFORE TIM WAS BORN. We're just abroad a lot. We travel. Tim's just graduated. Is going to start his work in Drake Industries.

He gets a blank look from Dickie.

Damian at least know exactly what he's talking about. Was simply unaware that they were neighbors. Apologizes for Dickie's... He means well.

Tim has to laugh.

What a brutal kid. He likes him. They part ways. Tim doesn't notice the lingering looks or flushing cheeks, his fluffy and unguarded appearance has gotten him. Soft in a way nothing in Gotham or their lives ever is.

Tim gets to work. Modernizing the house and updating the furniture. Lots to buy and do, after all. Its exhausting. Thank god for the pool. And since it in the back, away from the road, he doesn't have to worry about all those absurd prudish drama queens he's met at the local market, getting food.

He can relax in a barely-there, string, bikini bottom. Topless. Soak in what little sun there manages to be.

Utterly entrance various Poor Bats, who are just trying to get their steps in. With so, so much soft and unmarked skin. Pretty little mosquito bite tits, the gentle curves and dips of his lounging body. Long legs, relaxed and sprawled teasingly open. Enough to torment but not enough to see.

They could never be that relaxed. Too many enemies. Too deeply ingrained to stay on gaurd. But there Tim lays, soaking up the sunshine with a drink and podcast. Utterly boneless.

A glimpse into another world. What they fight to protect. So different it... it almost become a fetish.

And it quickly does. Mentally playing house. Pretending civilian. They would go on dates and bring him flowers, they think, spying on him. Have dinners for two, cuddle on the couch, they imagine, as they break bones in the frigid rain. On and on. Them and their pretty civilian boyfriend.

The boy next door. Hallmark romances. Romantic novels. Fated encounters. Each of them framing it differently in their head. No less obsessive. Getting more by the day.

And Tim? Well, for him, things are feeling... Off(tm). His neighbors are? Weirdly friendly. He'd say cultishly friendly, but he doesn't even think they're religious. Yet his gut is SCREAMING "somethings not right here".

He can't figure out his creepy kid-self's notes. And it's starting to seem IMPORTANT. Because he HEARD that Brucie Wayne? Was a himbo. An idiot. But no one in that family reads as genuinely dumb to Tim. So why are they pretending? What are they HIDING? And??

Does it have something to do with how he keeps seeing the fuckin BATS around his house? His office? He's pretty sure they broke in. Found at least on bug. There might be cameras. He got kidnapped and like? Five! Of them showed up. FIVE.

Crowded super close to untie him, all lingering touches and predators grins.

Is he being hunted by vampires? Demons?

Bat people?!

How many times did they watch him masturbate before he realized there could be cameras!? And is he REALLY sure the shower is safe to get off in, now? It better be. He refuses to stop, just because he's being hunted by cryptids!

And off course~♡ Ivy, our Beloved. (We salute you o7) Oh dear and precious Bringer of Convenient Plot Devices. Escapes! Oh nooooo! And she was doing so well.

She hits? You guessed it! Drake Pharmaceuticals. The main branch of Drake Industries. Because a CERTAIN member of the Board has been lying about where he's been putting run-off. Like that's not a known death-sentence in Gotham. Are you KIDDING US, Geoffrey!?

Tim, bravely, tries to talk her down. Was already trying to fix other damage. WILL fix that. He didn't know. Please, Dr. Isely!

She thinks he's young and twink-y. Gives him a chance. Feeds Geoffrey to a plant. Chaos and Bats ensue.

But on no! Ivy definitely pulled the "remember. I can DESTROY YOU" card with her Chance(tm) and hit Tim with a Pollen dose. It's already been too long. Anti-agent will help, but? Ultimately not enough. Tim needs treatment.

......don't WORRY, Civilian! The Bats say with far more enthusiasm then the rightfully should, coming dangerously close to perky chirping. They are Here To Help~!

Odd, how Tim does NOT feel terribly safe, being stared down by the hungry eyes of Bat Cryptids. But also his skin feels like it's on slow fire and his insides hurt, soooo.... Make It STOP.

He's scooped up and dragged to the nap room he had set up connecting to his office. The don't stop CROWDING. Hands reaching out, stroking and touching. Gazes heavy enough to feel lewder the their hands, as they blatantly plot what they're going to do to him.

Batman, who by all accounts, is supposed to be the one to keep his various hellions in check, leading the charge. Seeming almost giddy as he carries Tim off. Gently dumps him on his napping bed.

He's surrounded.

They work together to get rid of "pollen contaminated clothing". Which is apparently everything. Hands are everywhere, making him whimper as they stroke oversensitive skin. Nightwing holding his head and neck still, plundering his mouth until he can't breathe.

Gloved hands are teasing his tits. Stroking his stomach. Holding his hands tight, to wrap it around something hard and hot. Thrusting against his palms. Legs being held open by strong hangs. Hearing Batman shift but being unable to move.

Embarrassing noises ripped out of him, back bowing, as squirming wet heat starts eating him out. Sucking, swirling, fucking in and out. None of the boys at school could EVER have come close. Tim finds himself twitching and coming apart embarrassingly fast.

Only it doesn't end.

He's never gone past one before.

The Pollens going to make sure EVERYONE gets a turn. Bruce barely holding back, while he stretchs him. The instant he decides it's enough, he's surging up, lining up and fucking himself in. Tim is utterly destroyed. Not a single Bat missing their golden chance to fuck Tim. Several times, at LEAST.

And of course? Once you have a taste of what you desire? Obsessions get so, SO much worse. A few more Pollen incidents that spring and summer? Well obviously, he's their Boyfriend now. Even if he doesn't know it.

It's all very horror movie, but the moster wants to bone you incoherent. Will Tim ever figure out the secret of the Waynes? Will he eventually be seduced by the constant, unexpected, but frankly mind-blowing dickings? Can orgasms win the day?

Who knows! Not me!

I just want them to obsess over Civilian Tim, fetishize his sexy Normal Life and hot bod, and (importantly) LOVINGLY gang bang the Timmy. He deserves to be the center of attention, you know? Get so, SO many orgasms. Be treated like a treasured princess of fuckies. Then cuddled for taking it so well, when they pounded him drooling and nearly to tears.

Give the Bats something to come home too! Their lives suck! They should have a Tim!

-🐼🐼🐼

them fetishizing civilian tim's life, growing more obsessed and voyeuristic with him!!😍😍

[ravenrune]

A little Luis x F!reader thing I've been working on for the past few days. I enjoy writing the reader meeting a character for the first time, so here is one for Luis. I went for she/her pronouns this time. I'm sorry I didn't go for gender-neutral. I will again next time! <3

No warnings. Fanfic. Not beta-read. Around 900 words.

The first step

Under any other circumstances, Luis loved to attend parties. The wedding he was at right now, however, had killed his joy very early on. Luis barely knew the couple and didn’t understand why they’d invited him. Politeness, he figured. He used to work with the man, and they had kept in touch after he’d left Umbrella, but to call them friends would be a massive overstatement. Vague acquaintances seemed much more fitting.

Except for this time, anyway.

Initially, Luis had looked forward to the wedding. Not because he cared much about the wedding couple, but because he always wanted to meet new people. This wedding, however, was boring with a capital B. It seemed as if everyone present was in a relationship and didn’t feel like interacting with strangers.

Luis himself had come alone. He’d tried to get a friend to join him, but nobody had been interested. Luis didn’t have any women in his life that he was romantically involved with, so he hadn’t been able to score a date, either. Didn’t matter much, though, because normally, he was pretty good at keeping himself, and strangers, entertained.

Bored and annoyed, he got up from the table, seemingly invisible to the people around him. He’d go out for a smoke, have another drink, and maybe then it would finally feel appropriate to leave. He didn’t think he’d ever be home before eleven after a party, but he really wasn’t feeling it this time.

“Ai, ai, ai,” he muttered, stepping out into the rain. He was pretty sure the weather forecast had promised clear skies, but apparently they’d been wrong again. “How hard can it be to predict the weather?”

“Surprisingly difficult, actually,” came a female voice from behind him. “Want to stay under my umbrella?”

Luis turned around and saw a woman standing there. Relatively young. Nice dress. It was too dark to see the colour of her eyes or hair. She was holding a big umbrella and gestured to him to come over.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Luis flashed her a big smile and stood next to her. “You mind if I light one up?” He held up his pack of cigarettes.

She shrugged. “Nah, go ahead.”

Luis lit his cigarette and placed the pack and the lighter back in his pocket. “Why are you outside? It’s a bit cold, no?”

“Cold doesn’t bother me much,” she replied. “It’s a bit too… crowded inside.”

Luis glanced at her. She had nice features, but he still couldn’t tell what colour her eyes or her hair were. “Is it too crowded, or is it just too boring?” He asked, only half joking.

She laughed and looked around to ensure nobody was close enough to hear her. “It really is very boring,” she groaned. “I kinda regret coming here. I could’ve stayed home and watched a movie. Would’ve cost me less money, too.”

“Yeah… I don’t even know why I was invited,” Luis muttered. “They don’t seem that interested in their guests.”

“Money, probably. They just want gifts. Isn’t that why people get married in the first place?”

Luis nearly choked on some smoke. “People get married for money? Where’s the romance in that, amiga?”

“Romance is dead,” she stated matter-of-factly, “everything is just a financial transaction nowadays.”

Wow. Luis wasn’t sure about what to say. How could someone think that way? He wondered if perhaps something had happened in her past, that someone had hurt her badly enough to turn her away from romantic interactions.

It was hard to imagine, and the thought made him feel a bit sad. His first instinct was to see this as a challenge. A challenge to try and conquer her heart. Then again, he also knew very well that that could end badly. He may consider himself quite the ladies’ man, but he wasn’t in it to hurt people. He didn’t hop from woman to man to woman just to satisfy his needs and move on. Not anymore, anyway. Not like when he was younger.

Luis had gotten so lost in thought, his cigarette started to burn his finger. “Agh!” He threw the thing on the ground and stomped it out. “That hurt!”

“Not the smartest thing I’ve ever seen,” she joked. “Do you need a plaster?”

Luis smiled. “Nah,” he muttered. “I just gotta pay attention.”

He liked hearing her laugh, he thought to himself. He wouldn’t mind hearing it more often.

“You eh… you got a name, amiga?” He asked.

“Y/N,” she replied.

“Good name. I’m Luis Serra.” He extended his hand, which she shook. “Encantado.”

“Same… I think?” She smirked. “How about we go back inside and get something to drink? I’m sick of the rain.”

Going inside for a drink. That seemed like a very nice first step for Luis. “Yeah, why not. I’ll buy you one.”

“Eh?” She frowned at him. “Drinks are free tonight.”

“Oh yes, of course.” Luis laughed. “Well, I’m sure that after tonight you’ll want nothing more than for me to take you out and buy you one elsewhere!”

“I doubt it,” she muttered while folding her umbrella. “But hey… surprise me, I guess.”

Now that was definitely a challenge, and Luis wasn’t the type to say no to one.

[lakesbian]

rachel and alec are specifically interesting to me re the undersider Situations as of early worm posting. thats right for the first time in my life im saying rachel specifically is interesting to me. everyone on the team is at least a bit lonely i think but it's so loud and obvious with rachel, because she's loud and obvious about everything. she's a disabled teen who's been homeless since she was very young. she was deeply abused by the foster home system, and the legal system responded to her wounded and confused outbursts as an autistic child by criminalizing her and hunting her down. she can't exist in public without the cops being called. society has done everything to demonstrate that it doesn't want her, and then blames her when she doesn't trust people.

brian says that the undersiders are the closest thing she can have to friends. alec says that they're the closest thing she has to a family. (which is an entire can of worms in itself wrt alec's relation to the undersiders.) and both of those things are true, but there's also something so tragic in their assumption that their tenuous connection w/ rachel where she can only just barely tolerate them is the best she can ever have. they're the only people she can even remotely trust to have her back or treat her somewhat fairly instead of fucking her over, but they're still fundamentally considering her beyond close connection, less of a friend or someone to attempt befriending and more of someone to keep on a leash. of course taylor is the only one to actually get close to her--taylor is the only one who tries to engage with her, as a person, on rachel's own terms, instead of begrudgingly tolerating her. rachel :(

& alec is the other team member who's in the Extra Lonely Isolation Club...he gets silly with the team sometimes, he has his little teenage banter w/ brian, he and lisa are clearly very familiar with each other in the way ppl who've been living together for a year and a half are. it's really good for him. it's the first time in his entire life he's gotten to have a consistent home with his own belongings, and he's getting to have it because he's part of the undersiders. the undersiders are literally the first people in his entire life that approach counting as a friendship. he gets SO FUCKING MAD!!! when he leaps to assuming that rachel stole the money from them. he gets So Mad he immediately goes "i vote we kill her" and then goes on a seething rant about how he wouldn't have thought she'd do that since the undersiders are the closest she has to family, but apparently she would. and the projection is so obvious! he's not wrong about applying the sentiment to rachel, but there's a reason he goes farther than brian's "closest she has to friends" and into the more intimate territory of "closest she has to family"--the two-way street there means that the undersiders are the closest he has to family, and the idea of being betrayed by one of them hurts enough to trigger the aggression he always displays when he's feeling vulnerable.

and he still doesn't tell them Jack Shit. he obviously lies to them all the fucking time, because brian is under the impression that he "dropped out" of school, when the reality is that he never went. even lisa brings up heartbreaker to taylor without any awareness that he's the father of the boy she's been living with for over a year. alec spends most of the early arcs in worm in dissociative, depressed fugues. the other undersiders have lengthy conversations where they're sharing personal info and he's just trailing along behind them, not speaking for so long that even the readers can forget he's there. lonely broken little shell of a boy who is so empty all of the time and does not even know it. aisha cannot get here fast enough if i have to see him being depressed and disconnected for one (1) more chapter i will explode

[blues824]

hi! i absolutely adore your stories and if you have the time, would like to request the octotrio (separately) and malleus, rook, and deuce (separately) with a gender-neutral yuu s/o who’s from a apocalyptic dystopian world

so something like, even before they started dating yuu, it was pretty obvious how they were always on edge and were confused by the simplest of things like what a birthday was, and concepts like a bank or the ocean environment or healthy living non toxic plant life because all that was lost to time from before their world collapsed on itself and they very much still have habits learned from surviving in that environment, so i imagine one day while they are on a date or something they ask yuu a simple question, one they didn’t even consider a hard or intrusive question but yuu freezes and starts to tear up and gives context on what their world was like for the first time, so like how the oceans are more like sludgy toxic wastelands where a single breath could kill you and how it’s not uncommon to see people murder others and how they don’t even want to go back because they aren’t scared of the students who hate them or the overblots they have to deal with, but they are scared of losing them. again, only write this if you have time because even if you don’t i will continue to support you and your work, i just love me a good angst/comfort fic

Again, gender-neutral. Guess who was selected by the random number generator!

Deuce Spade

You both got off on the wrong foot, what with you being frantic about losing Grim. He asked why you were so freaked out about someone you had barely met, and you just brushed him off. Once you did find the cat, Deuce was surprised at the pure seriousness in your tone as you stated that he will not run off again or he will be locked out of Ramshackle.

Anyways, when you both are dating, you do open up to him. It was actually when he took you on a date to the village at the bottom of the mountain where you asked why the water was so clear when coming from the fountain. He was confused and asked if you didn’t have fountains in your world. You froze, staring into the clean water, then you started shaking as you sat down on the ledge.

“Well, there’s no clean water at all. You usually have to filter it yourself. I had never seen a clean ocean until I went to Octavinelle. Back home, you have to wear gas masks around any body of water because of the radiation. The first time I attended a party of some sort was the unbirthday party held. You wonder why I’m not scared of anyone, and it’s because I have seen a dead body before, and half of the time I’m wondering when someone will not make it out of their overblot alive.

“... I don’t want to go back, Deuce.” The waterworks started working the water, and tears started spilling. Your boyfriend immediately sat next to you, wrapping his arms around you. From what you had just told him, it sounds like you’ve been through Hell and back. He felt shitty for prodding into your life, but at least now he knows a small piece of what you have gone through.

Azul Ashengrotto

He saw your curiosity when you entered Octavinelle, but a lot of students react that way when they go to the dorm for the first time. He paid no mind to it, but he did pay mind to your rather hostile attitude. You knew very well about making deals with shady people, and you actually had your hand on your knife as you demanded that he let your friends out of your contract. Needless to say, it was a rough first impression.

That did get the wheels turning in his mind, though. When you started dating, you were very thrown-off about the issues he had gone through as a child. However, when he asked about what it was like when you were a child, you froze up. Your eyes went wide, and he thought that something was happening. However, you took a deep breath and shakily went to explain the circumstances in which you grew up.

“Well, you can’t go near the oceans because one breath and the air could kill you. There are mutated animals as well as humans trying to kill you. Humans are at the bottom of the food chain. I’ve made promises to people who I knew would end up dead. I’ve had to bury some of them myself.

“I’m not scared of many things, but I don’t want to lose you like I’ve lost many others.” Tears started streaming, and Azul quickly whipped out his handkerchief and started wiping your tears. He told you that he would do his best to take care of himself so that you wouldn’t worry about him anymore, and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead to help you calm down a bit.

Jade Leech

Again, he saw your curiosity when you entered Octavinelle, but he didn’t dismiss it like his boss did. After your rather violent meeting, he went up to you and asked if he could give you a tour around the place. You, however, were not easily tricked and even had your knife easily accessible in the case he tried something funny.

Well, it obviously went well because months later you were dating. However, the memory of you being so curious and taken aback when you first visited Azul never left Jade’s mind. To be fair, you had no magic, so he assumed it was just that. He asked you about it one day, and your smile immediately dropped as you looked away. He was growing steadily concerned until you started speaking.

“I had never seen the ocean in such a peaceful state. Back in my world, it’s a toxic wasteland. You inhale so much as one breath, you’re a goner. The first time I went to your dorm, it was the first time I had seen a clean and clear ocean. It was beautiful, and I almost felt at-peace there until I remembered what my friends had done to themselves and what I went there to do. But, it’s how I met you.

“I don’t ever want to leave Twisted Wonderland, and I don’t want to leave you, Jade. As sketchy as you are, I can at least rely on you to be unreliable.” The eel was very surprised at your little sentiment and at the apparent state of your world, but he wiped away the stray tear and placed a kiss upon your lips before apologizing for prying.

Floyd Leech

He, too, noticed your interest in the Octavinelle biome and a;most immediately asked about it. You just brushed it off back then, saying something about how you should not be conversing with the enemy. He didn’t like it because you spent the entire time ignoring him. However, you managed to grab his attention, and he eventually managed to grab yours much later by saving you from getting grabbed by Azul’s tentacle.

It didn’t take much for him to win over your heart because of that one incident, and how he swore to protect his ‘shrimpy’. However, the memory of how you were so hostile towards him and how you have pulled a knife on him a few different times whenever he snuck up behind you. One day, he asked about it, specifically because you pulled a knife on him again.

“You don’t even want to know, Floyd. The amount of times I have almost been killed is a higher number than you could reach when you count. I keep a weapon on me at all times just in case one of my enemies from my world manages to make it into Twisted Wonderland. Now, if you could please stop scaring me, I wouldn’t almost stab you every time I see you.”

As you can imagine, this definitely surprised him, but he told you that you didn’t need to have a weapon because he would always be there to protect you. He picked you up in his arms, leaving you squirming and trying to wiggle yourself out of his grasp, and he started the trek back to his dorm where he could cuddle you until you felt better.

Rook Hunt

It should surprise no one that he is stalking you, and that you can tell you are being stalked. You saw him hiding in the trees in your peripheral vision, and eventually you got to a point where you were deeply unsettled. You quickly grabbed your knife and threw it at him, almost hitting him had he not caught it by the handle. He jumped down to return it to you, and that was the start of a really weird relationship.

However, it did not escape the hunter’s mind, how you had a knife on your person. Not just any knife, but a throwing knife. He was lucky to be wearing leather gloves or he might have cut himself. He eventually asked you about it, making sure that you were aware that you didn’t have to reveal anything that you didn’t want to. After all, he didn’t want his beloved trickster to feel pressured. He felt as though he did something wrong when he saw your smile disappear, but you began speaking.

“To sum it all up, it’s a total wasteland. War ruined my world, and it’s every person for themself. I’m very used to being stalked, either because someone wants me to join their band of merrymen or to kill me and loot my body. It’s also not uncommon for someone to become a cannibal when they haven’t had access to food like we did at our camp.”

Not going to lie, it sounded like a twisted, dystopian novel to the hunter. Even though he’s very analytical and he guessed that things weren't going well in your world, he never expected it to be that bad. He took his glove off to quickly wipe away your tears and pressed his forehead against yours, swearing upon his life that you would never be brought to harm in his presence.

Malleus Draconia

You both met when he went to Ramshackle, not knowing it was inhabited. However, he was aware that two knives were making their way to him, spinning in the air. He used his magic to suspend them, and he turned around to see you. The knives dropped to the ground, and he assured you that he didn’t mean to scare you, and that he did not know anyone was here. Another weird start to a weird relationship.

This wasn’t the only interesting instance either. You have attacked a few of his retainers for surprising you, and he had to admit that he had never seen anyone at NRC have reactions quite like yours. He didn’t really like to impose upon your life, but he was very curious as to what could cause you to be very hostile. Eventually, on one of your nightly walks, he asked. You froze, and he quickly regretted asking but you started speaking.

“The government gave up way before I was born. My family is dead, and most of my camp back home is either sick or gone to scavenge about. Until I got teleported here, I had never seen a clean ocean or a true plant rather than some messed-up, mutated version. I have blood on my hands, and I’m not the type to hesitate.”

Typically, murder is not justified. However, as you continued explaining the state of your world, it all came as a shock to the dragon prince. Then, you got to the part where you had been betrayed by your friend and had to kill them as a result. The memory made you start tearing up, and your boyfriend here took your face in his hands and gently wiped away your tears before giving you a kiss and promising his title as the Crowned Prince of Briar Valley that no harm would come to you.

[meownotgood]

a little death / hayakawa aki

You meant everything to him, and Aki promised to keep you safe, even if it meant dying for you.

fic playlist: click here!

pairing: hayakawa aki x fem!reader

word count: 20.6k

tags: 18+, smut, angst, smoking, love confessing, that one trope where they step in front to protect you, tending to wounds, hand job, finger sucking, tender sex, aki is touch-starved and needy as hell

this work contains explicit content intended for 18+ individuals. please read the tags and do not interact if you are a minor.

Human life is expendable. In this world, it always has been. If someone dies, they'll simply be replaced, such is the perpetual ill-fated existence of a devil hunter. 

In a way, it's like the cigarettes Aki smokes. Sometimes they burn halfway, sometimes they burn down to ash, but when you're done, you just smoke another. They do well to remind him of the fragility of life in more ways than one. He inhales, and even though he knows it's slowly killing him, when the rich taste of smoke fills his lungs, all he can feel is heaven. Yeah, she was right. Life is so much better when you have something to take the edge off. 

Aki pulled the cigarette from his lips, tapping it with his finger over the ashtray and watching the dying embers scatter. The smoke from his exhale rose into an oddly calm, cloudless blue sky. As it left his lungs, Aki could almost feel his stresses melt into the tranquility of the cool breeze. Almost. He was only escaping from his work for a short time, because once this cigarette was spent, it was begrudgingly back into the fray. 

Why was it always on the nicest of days that Aki had to be stuck working? Actually, that's a stupid question, considering he works pretty much every day. But shame on him for wanting to patrol peacefully with you and enjoy the nice weather for once. 

Whatever, the devil this time was supposed to be weak anyways. Only you and him were dispatched to the scene, and you were told it was okay to take your time, so this must be something the both of you could handle quite easily. Soon, the sun would set, but maybe if you both managed to get this job done quickly, he'd be able to enjoy what was left of the day. 

"Shit, Aki, I can't find mine. Can I have one of yours?" 

"Nope, it's my last one. Sorry." Aki replied, taking another long drag from the cigarette. 

"Dammit, I left my jacket at home 'cause it was supposed to be hot today. They must still be in my pocket." 

The sun was beaming down, blistering heat radiating off the concrete sidewalk, but while standing in a large shadow cast by the looming buildings, a soft breeze dancing through the air cut through the tepidity. It brushed against Aki's arms bared by rolled up sleeves, tickling the side of his face and the hair on the back of his neck. This corner of the city was calm and quiet today, with the only sound being the rhythmic hum from cars on the nearby street whizzing by. 

"Hey, Aki, let me have a hit of that one." 

Aki shook his head. "No way." 

"Oh come on, I'll be quick. There's no way I'm getting through this mission without some nicotine in my system." 

Aki took the thin cigarette from his mouth once more, holding it carefully between his fingers, puffs of smoke wisping up from the firefly light on the end. He turned his head, finally meeting your pleading gaze. You cocked your head at him and he hesitated, if only for a moment, before sighing in defeat. He brought the cigarette to your lips until they closed around it. 

"Inhale." 

You followed the command, breathing in as he held the half-burned cig steady. The moment the smoke hit your lungs, it instantly flooded your senses with pure bliss. 

It wasn't very hard to convince Aki when it came to you, never has been. But there's something about sharing his cigarette with you, something about watching you take a hit between his fingers, eyes locked onto his. Something about it enthralled him every time. So if you asked, he was sure to let you have a taste, and this time was no different. 

He pulled away when you took in a sufficient breath, bringing the cig back to his own lips. You tilted your head upwards, catching glimpses of pale blue obscured by a tangled web of power lines before the smoke was blown out steadily from your mouth. 

Funny, at one point, you told Aki you'd never smoke. Yet now, here you were. Somehow, "Ew, I'd never," turned into, "Fine, I'll try it," turned into, "What brand do you get again? I'm just curious," turned into now, all right before his eyes, and all because of him. It filled him with a little sense of pride. 

If you were going to be a devil hunter beside him, experiencing the same loss and turmoil as he has his entire life for the rest of yours, he supposed you deserved something to indulge in. Or at least, that's what someone else taught him a long time ago. When you first became his partner, whether it was a nostalgic force of habit or an urge to put you through the same rite of passage he himself once underwent, Aki made it his goal to convince you to smoke. 

With how adamantly against it you were at first, he almost gave up. But after countless missions together, months spent growing closer and further trusting one another, something seemed to crack. He managed to convince you to try it, and in no time at all, he had turned you into just as much of a hopeless addict as he was. It was a satisfying feeling at first, but now, that feeling wasn't enjoyed without a sharp pang of guilt. 

Aki's life was expendable. If he died, what impact would he leave on the world? He had no loved ones, no family, no-one he cared about, besides you. And the very day after he breathed his last, you'd find that he'd be replaced, just as simply as everyone he himself has come to lose. You'd forget about him and move on with your new partner. A stick of tobacco was certainly not going to be his final nail in the coffin, but it doesn't really matter either way, does it? 

Your life though, your life was different. Your life was precious. It was filled with time he didn't have, filled with hope he didn't have. In himself, he saw nothing, but in you, he saw love. To him, you were love. You were the embodiment of everything that made life worth living, everything beautiful. A star-filled night spent drinking the sweetest liquor, or finally getting home and taking off your shoes. The world beat him and broke him down, but in your soul, he found solace. 

But hey, that's something he would never admit. Not out loud, anyways. 

Regardless, you were someone he found worth protecting, and that's exactly what Aki vowed he would do, and that's exactly why he changed his mind. If he could go back, he would have never given you a cigarette. Hell, he would have quit smoking if that's what it took to get you to never try one. Your life was precious, and he should have never taught you to shorten it. 

Ugh, he was thinking too much. What he should do is shake these thoughts from his head and start focusing on the mission. 

Aki took a final drag in before stamping the cigarette bud out into the ashtray. "Alright," He spoke through a mouthful of smoke, "You ready?" 

"As ready as I'll ever be." You pushed yourself off of the wall you had been leaning on, stretching before you stood up straight. "You okay Aki? You've been spacing out." 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry." Aki replied nonchalantly. You walked closer to him, hands reaching to grab his tie, and you pulled on the fabric, adjusting it straight around his collar. 

"Remember," Aki starts, "If things go bad, you stand behind me, understand?" 

"Don't worry, we've got this." You stated, looking up at him, "And after we're done, we can go out for some celebration drinks." 

When your gaze met his, Aki felt his worries fade away, like snow melting to a warm flame. He smiled softly, something only you could seem to make him do, he thinks. Drinks together after a stressful day sounded great. All he had to do was get through this mission, and then he could relax. And with the two of you, it would be easy, right? 

Aki nodded, "Right. Let's go." 

—

Devil Extermination request for the Public Safety Commission. Devil sighting inside block #9's parking garage. According to the request, the devil fled to the 3rd floor. It is described as a rather weak Spike Devil. All civilians have been evacuated safely from the area. Dispatching two devil hunters from Public Safety Devil Extermination Special Division 4. 

It was never supposed to happen this way. It was supposed to be an easy job. It was supposed to be to go in, locate the devil in the building, and eliminate it. Get things done like you both always do and get out, simple as that. So how did you end up getting cornered like this? 

From the minute you saw the state of disarray the parking garage was in, you knew "rather weak" was a complete lie. You've been a devil hunter long enough to know this much damage couldn't be caused by a mere low-rate devil. Cars were toppled everywhere. Some appeared to be flung with incredible force, and some were covered in holes where something had pierced straight through the metal. A chill was sent up your spine when you began to wonder what that something could be. This devil was definitely much stronger than it may have appeared. 

Likewise, you've been fighting alongside Aki long enough to know when he gets quiet like this, gritting his teeth roughly, sweat coating his furrowed brows, it's usually a bad sign. The only time he goes silent is when he knows things are about to go to shit. 

With no words exchanged, you made your way to the third floor alongside Aki. Neither of you were sure what to expect, but you both were saying silent prayers in your minds as you climbed the stairs. Prayers that this devil really was weak, and prayers that today wouldn't be either of your last. Once you were face to face with the titular Spike Devil though, your assumptions were dreadfully proven. 

First of all, it was no small-fry, boasting a rather large body of contorted limbs and mismatched appendages. It was a disgusting freak of nature, like every devil you've come across. What was most interesting were the equally sizeable spines that covered the entirety of its body. 

The devil appeared to be able to shoot them out and recall them back to its body at will, so not only did it have great range and offense, but when recalled, the spikes also provided an excellent layer of defense. They weren't porcupine levels of spines either. The size was comparable to railroad spikes, and they were heavy enough that it took a wide swing of your sword to deflect them, leaving your arms aching. 

Second of all, thanks to all of those limbs helping to propel it, the damn thing was blisteringly fast and incredibly relentless. Its movements were a blur you could hardly even make out. All you could manage to do was block, block, block, never having the opportunity to get a hit in. 

Despite the growing severity of the situation, you were able to control your breathing and maintain some of your cool. You were both going to get out of this alive, you always do, don't you? After all, you had your full trust placed in Aki, and he had his full trust placed in you. You stood back to back, pressed close to one another, covering for each other's blind spots to deflect the devil's attacks. 

Aki has always been more agile than you, so at this point, you were relying on him to land a blow while you focused on simply keeping yourself from being impaled. Unfortunately, try as he might, he was just as unsuccessful as you. At least he was able to take a few swings at it, which was more than you were able to accomplish, but they proved to be fruitless when the devil dodged them easily. 

With every movement of your sword, it seemed to become heavier and heavier in your hands. In your chest, you could feel every single pound of your heart. It was hard to breathe, almost like the air was being forced into your lungs. You were slowing down, threatened to succumb to your exhaustion. 

Aki could sense it. Where you started to lag, he only moved faster, swinging his blade wider, harder. He blocked where you failed to, and before you knew it, the fight was in a league all its own and you truly weren't a part of it anymore. Aki deflected every hit on his own while slowly backing away with you behind him, taking every opportunity, each break in the devil's attacks to put space in between the two of you and itself. 

Eventually, you both were able to back up far enough that the devil's attacks subsided a little, although not completely. Instead of sending out as many continual attacks as it could, the devil instead honed in on concentrated strikes. It was trying to eliminate one of you, and it clearly didn't care which, with one strong blow. Aki deflected the first hit, but not without briefly staggering under the weight of the impact. 

"Go. Run away." 

Your attention was pulled away from the fight when Aki suddenly spoke, his voice breathless yet resolute. It was the first thing he'd said in a frighteningly long amount of time. His command hung in the air, his eyes remaining locked on the devil as he deflected another attack. 

Do something, fucking do something, you screamed at yourself, but you were rooted in place and couldn't think, couldn't move. Everything was a blur, moving in fast motion while you were stuck in the past. All you were able to do was uselessly stand at Aki's side, your eyes darting between him and the devil as he blocked strikes with the flat length of his sword, loud clangs of metal against metal echoing throughout the garage. 

Aki abruptly turned to you, grabbing your shoulder, and his iron grip paired with his sharp gaze meeting yours was enough to briefly shake you from your trance. He raised his voice, shouting, "Did you not hear me?!"

"I… I heard you, but I…" You stammered frantically, trying to come up with the words, trying to come up with anything at all. Right now, you're aware that you're only a liability, just someone he has to protect. But you didn't want to leave him. You couldn't. You were hoping somehow, someway, you'd find a way to assist. If you searched your brain hard enough, you'd have to come up with something. 

Aki's face seemed to soften the slightest amount when he spoke again, staring into your eyes with an expression ever pleading. "I can handle this, you're only going to get hurt if you stay so please, please just-"

You should do something. Anything. Something to help him, something more useful, something better than just standing there. 

No, you should run. You should listen to him. You should take the chance he's made for you and get out. So why weren't you? Why were you numb, unable to move? 

Wait, when did he start standing so close in front of you? And when did the noise of clanging metal cease? 

And why was Aki not moving? 

The air was filled with a suffocating silence, save for a faint plip, plap sound of droplets splattering on concrete and the twofold echo of weary gasps for breath. You were terrified to look, shaky vision remaining fixated on the devil, but when a spike stained crimson was recalled to its body and the sound grew from a light dribble to a loud splatter, your eyes darted downwards. 

Blood. Aki's blood. 

Aki's sword slipped from his loose grasp, falling to the ground with a clatter amongst the spots of red painting the floor below. His legs buckled, and as he swayed forward, you reached out and caught him by his waist. 

"Aki, oh my God, I'm so sorry, Aki please-" 

Everything was scrambled, surreal, and you were fumbling over your words, shaking, struggling to hold up his weight and not even sure what was going through your mind anymore. 

Aki wrapped his arm around your shoulders, still wobbling but regaining a little bit of his balance. He opened his mouth to speak, but as soon as he tried, he sputtered into a cough, spitting up spots of blood into his hand. 

His mind was a dizzying blur, coherent thoughts swirling, drowned out by a razor-edged pain that kept hammering away at his senses. He's losing blood. He can feel it warm and wet against his side. Even though his adrenaline is pumping right now, he can't have much consciousness left before he's done. 

Make the best call, otherwise we're both dying here. 

The devil seemed to be taunting you now, taking its time to lick the blood off the spike clean. But Aki was the only one who noticed this. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him. 

Despite how much it made your heart sink to see his face contorted in such pain, his lips parted as he took in ragged breaths, your gaze remained locked on. You focused only on watching the heave of his chest, right above where his white dress shirt is stained a vivid red, because you were terrified of the thought that if you looked away, when you looked back, it wouldn't rise and fall anymore. 

At least the devil seemed to have finally let its guard down. The damn thing probably thought it had already won. The two of you had lured it all the way to the edge of the parking garage. Orange rays from the setting sun cast large shadows upon the devil's figure. 

Now was the only chance Aki had to finish it, and he needed to do so quick, before the monster started paying attention again. 

"Aki, please, come on, we need to get out of here-" 

Make the best call, make the best call, make the best call… 

Was this close enough? Was it too dangerous to summon it here? What if the entire building toppled? 

No, stop hesitating or you'll die, idiot. He had to do it, and he had to do it right now. 

Aki brought a heavy, trembling hand up, middle and ring fingers pressed faint to the pad of his thumb. Through blurry vision growing dim, he aligned the circle between his fingers with the shadowy silhouette of the devil. 

Before he even spoke, he could feel the blood bubbling up in his aching throat, but he forced himself to push past it. He choked out the one word he needed so quietly he might as well have been mouthing it. 

"Kon."

The fox's head burst through the nearest wall like it was nothing, its might obscuring the glow of the setting sun, and in one fell swoop, the Spike Devil was gone, swallowed in the Fox Devil's jaws whole. Aki used a final burst of energy to hurriedly twist until he was in front of you. He wrapped his arms around your back and held you close, his tall frame leant over yours to shield you from the flying debris. 

It's over. 

The devil was taken down, Aki kept you safe, and once this realization hit him, the ache in his chest seemed to increase exponentially. It was a piercing, hot, all-encompassing pain, like nothing he could even describe, and nothing like anything he's ever felt before in his life. His ears were ringing, and every breath he took in was starting to become shorter and shorter without his control. 

There's so many things he wants to tell you. He wants to say it's alright, we did it. Don't worry about me because everything is going to be okay. But words wouldn't form anymore, let alone comprehensible thoughts. He was at the end of his rope now, wasn't he? 

It hurts, it's fading away, everything is fading. I don't want to die, God, please don't let me die. 

"Aki, hang in there, look at me, please." 

But your face was a blur, a mere swirl of colors growing hazy, almost as if he was being swallowed into the darkness of a long, pitch-black tunnel. 

Don't give in just yet, don't give in, it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts… 

"Focus on me, please don't close your eyes…"

But your voice was growing fainter, muddier, as if Aki was plunged underwater, the depths threatening to claim him, and his eyelids were starting to feel so, so heavy. 

I'm going to die. 

The realization should have been terrifying. Instead, he felt release, like finally letting go when your hands had been burning from holding on for far too long. The end should have hit him much harder than it did. Instead, he found it soothing, like a river's rippling waters finally settling into a still, tranquil pool. 

"Aki…" 

It's okay, please don't cry. I didn't have that much time left, anyways. 

It was never supposed to happen this way. It was supposed to be an easy job, and now the person you cared for the most was dying in your arms. 

"Can you hear me? Aki?" 

At this point, if you were saying anything, he couldn't tell what it was anymore. He could feel himself slipping, losing the fight, and before he knew it, he was speaking before he was thinking. Soft words tumbled from his aching throat at barely more than a whisper. 

"I'm sorry, I love you." 

And then, he was done. 

Aki's head fell to rest on your shoulder. His body went limp against yours, motionless and heavy. You could feel the ever so subtle tickle of his shallow breaths against your neck. 

He was barely breathing, but at least he wasn't dead yet.

— 

It's happening again. He's there, but at the same time, he is watching himself, a mere observer to the snowglobe that is the microcosm of his life. Inside the dome is a familiar house, surrounded by dead trees with branches clothed in white. Through frosted glass, he can see it; he can see himself, tiny and meager, while as innocent and pure as the pale white snow. But all he can do is watch. 

All he can do is watch as the scene plays out just as he knew it would, just as he's seen in his dreams countless times before. Someone shakes the globe, and all at once, his home is torn into the sky, blown away with the same disorder present in a gorgeous flurry of snowflakes and glitter.  

It's strange. Seeing it now, so small, so far away, a swirl of mesmerizing crystalline, it almost seems beautiful. But as he watches, he can taste the bile rising in his throat, he is weighed down by the sinking of his heart, and in that moment, he's filled with the same sense of dread he felt that day. The feeling of being lost at sea with nothing but miles and miles of blue in sight. Nowhere to run to, no-one to reach out and help you, left treading water until you drown in the deep. 

Aki feels cold, down to his bones. Is it because of the snow? Or is it coming from within? 

The scene fades, and a new one opens on what he remembers to be the first time he wielded a sword. He watches a much younger, inexperienced version of himself through the shiny reflection on the blade. His fragile hands grip the hilt tight and he swings with a reckless naiveté. God, he was so young to be fighting, and even though he tried to hide it, Aki knew him better than anyone, and he knew the boy he saw in the mirror was terrified. 

He became a spectator to his first devil kill. Adrenaline pumped through his veins and he was overwhelmed with the satisfaction of finally doing something useful. From then on, he killed more, more. He didn't stop, not even for a second. 

His sword was plunged into devil after devil, but the madness didn't end for him once they were dead. He cut their bodies open and searched through every last revolting inch of their insides until he found what he was looking for. When he was done, his palms were stained red, down to the crevices. He remembers feeling as though it would never wash out of his pores. With his blade coated in blood, Aki could no longer see through the steel, and so the scene faded anew. 

When the picture took shape once more, Aki was standing on a lonely street. Through a wide set of windows, he could see himself inside, eating dinner with his late partner. Or perhaps it was lunch, he can't remember. The inside of the restaurant appeared to be empty apart from his table, and although he could see himself clearly, the one sitting in the chair across from him was blurred. He knew exactly who it was, and yet, her face was obscured and just wasn't quite right. 

"Aki, wanna job hop to the civilian side with me?" 

Even though he was watching from outside, he could hear the conversation clear as day, like it was coming from inside his brain. 

"We don't have to hunt that damn gun, y'know?" 

Aki didn't look up, although now, he wished he did, because if he had, maybe he would have remembered her face more. 

"I'll go drinking with you as much as you want," He replied firmly, "But I will never go to the civilian sector." 

If he could go back now, would he have changed his answer? 

Right now, he isn't sure, but in this world where he's only an onlooker, it doesn't really matter. He is on the outside looking in, left staring at his double and the hazy vision of Himeno, the window pane seeming fogged up around her form as she lights a familiar cigarette. 

Why was Aki seeing all of these things? Is this what they call your life flashing before your eyes? 

He stood idly, watching the film continue to play out, although he already knew how it was going to end. For a second time, Himeno died right in front of him, and for a second time, he was utterly powerless to stop it. He was a prisoner to a story already told, and even though the rest of the memory was fuzzy, he could remember everything about her as he watched her slowly disappear. 

That memory was always the clearest. His own brain is so cruel. 

Aki couldn't bear to see much more of this. He turned and started walking, then running, leaving the stage behind him. 

Perhaps it was because he hoped to enter a memory more pleasant, or perhaps it was because your face was the last thing he saw, your voice the last thing he heard, and so you were still lingering in the labyrinth of his mind. Whatever it was, Aki began to reflect on recollections of you. 

The first time he gave you a cigarette. He demonstrated how to smoke it before passing it off to you. When you coughed and sputtered, it was almost endearing, like watching a younger version of himself. You didn't give up though, and when he watched you, he couldn't help but smile. That day, he smiled for what was the first time in a long time. 

The first mission you completed together. He didn't think it was anything to write home about, but you were so excited, and some of that cheerfulness couldn't help but be rubbed off on him. You praised him for how strong he was, rambled about how much you wished you could be a devil hunter as strong as him. Never become like me, was what he wanted to say, but instead, he offered to train with you, show you some of what he knows. You graciously accepted, and after that, training sessions together became a regular occurance. That was only the start of Aki spending time with you outside of work. 

The first time he took you to his family's grave. He told you it wouldn't be anything fun, but you insisted on coming. He's still not sure why you did. 

It was chilly that day. You both left early in the morning. You slept on his shoulder on the train ride there. Then, on the boat, it was freezing, so while you looked out at the water, he took off his jacket and draped it over the two of you like a blanket with his shoulder pressed against yours. Lastly was the bus, and even though it was totally empty, for some reason, he stood close to you. Close enough that every bump in the road caused him to lean into you. Close enough that his fingers kept accidentally brushing against yours. 

Another thing he's not sure of is why you decided to grab his hand then. It could be because you were getting tired of all those accidents, or maybe it was because you figured it was awfully close anyways, so you might as well. It wouldn't be a far extension of what was already occurring. 

Or possibly, it was because you could see right through him. You could tell deep down, he was troubled with the reminders of all of this, of everything he lost that day. So when you took his hand, it was to give him something to hold on to. A small form of comfort. He likes to think the reason was the latter. 

"Your hands are cold." You commented. 

"Yours are warm."

The trip was always a long one, but with you, it seemed to go by in an instant. You prayed alongside him, and something about you being there made it easier, made him feel less alone. 

In his eyes, in every memory, your face was clear. He could see every detail of it, but he swore it was more beautiful than he remembered. 

The first time you came over to his house, he showed you around, and when you were hungry, he peeled and cut an apple for you. He remembers the way your face lit up when you saw the bunny-shaped slices, the way you smiled at him as you ate. You watched movies together, talked about stupid shit and gossiped about co-workers while forgetting about the world. For just one night, everything was normal. Aki remembers wishing he could freeze time right at that moment. 

The first time you went out drinking together, you both probably shared more secrets than necessary, but Aki can hardly recall what was said. What he does remember is taking you home when you got too drunk, your whole body leaning on him, your infectious laugh when you wobbled, and the way you relied on him to keep you safe without question. It made him feel important, made him feel like he was needed by someone. 

It's the dullest of moments that Aki remembers the clearest, he notes. They also happen to be the ones he loves the most, because when every devil might be what drives you to the brink of insanity, a little bit of something simple goes a long way. 

Aki relives a conversation he had with you on his balcony, over a shared cigarette and under the dull light of the crescent moon. He recalls something you asked him that night. 

"If you could go back and change your past, would you?" 

You posed it as a pretty casual question, teasing him when he simply replied he doesn't know. 

Ask him any other time, and Aki would have said yes, absolutely. There were so many things he'd like to change about his life. So many people he'd want to save, and when he really thinks about it, all of this started with that stupid house and that damn gun. Against the impossible odds, he'd find a way to prevent it, find a way to save his family. Find a way to fix his life. 

Now though? He's come to feel a bit differently, not just about that question, but about his life as a whole. No matter how much you wish it could, the past can't be changed. The only thing you can do is learn to live with it. Accomplish your goals and treasure what you have left until it's gone. And if you do, you might just find something that makes all the suffering worth it in the end. Someone who makes you look forward, instead of looking back all the time. 

The only thing he regrets is ever giving you a damn cigarette. 

This world has always hated him from the start. Was showing him all of this the universe's way of trying to get him to finally give up? 

To hell with that. Aki still had a job to do, and for once in his life, he had someone out there waiting for him. Someone who would cry if he died, and he can't let that happen. He needed to get out of here. 

"Aki, where are we going?" 

With no warning, he found himself on a busy street, and he heard your voice clearly through the suffocating crowd. 

"We have to patrol the south side," Came his response, although it wasn't coming from his own mouth. Aki turned to where he heard it, and standing out from the group as if a spotlight was shown upon them was the striking image of himself walking with you close on his heels. 

"Try to keep up," His duplicate continued, "I won't have time to babysit you." 

"You must have pretty low expectations of me, sir." 

"I have low expectations of everyone, especially softies like yourself." 

Aki felt his hands ball up into fists. Man, was he always such an asshole? 

"And why's that?" 

"Because everyone in Public Safety ends up either-"

Aki charged forward, closing the distance between himself and you. Before he let himself say another word, he reached out and grabbed your hand. Your palm was warm, and he could feel it when you gripped back, the touch distinct and real. For a moment, his heart skipped and he hesitated, a gravity almost drawing him away, but he held on tight and let it pull him with you in tow. 

He moved as quickly as he could manage, shouldering past those in the way, and when the sea of people seemed to part, he started running. 

"Aki, wait!" Your voice cried out from behind him, and you were slowing down, stumbling, struggling to keep up. "Where the hell are we going?"

His vision was growing muddled, and he wasn't sure where he even was anymore. His surroundings were a confusing, vague blur, in an uncanny kind of way. 

"We're getting out of here," He replied, and the next thing he said poured from his mouth thoughtlessly, "I'm not ready to die." 

"You're not dead, Aki."

Aki froze in place. "I'm not?" He murmured, although to be honest, he knew a long time ago that he wasn't. He knew from the moment he first saw your face, and from the second he felt your touch so strongly when he grabbed your hand. He could feel this was only a dream that he was on the edge of waking up from.  

And as if on cue, a loud boom pierced right through the languor, and the calm haze of a quiet dream was severed in favor of a heart-pounding awakening. 

— 

I'm not dead yet. 

Aki awoke suddenly, the fog blanketing his mind rapidly fading to a clear consciousness. The first thing he heard was the crack of thunder, and once his eyes fluttered open, the second thing was the rolling thrum thereafter. He fought against the grogginess still lingering in his mind and the heavy weight of his eyelids begging to close, attempting to take in the area around him. The room was dim, covered in a veil of grey, and the gentle patter of rain could be heard outside. 

He sat there for a moment, pondering the loose threads from his dream still lingering in his memory. As his senses returned, he felt something in his open hand, holding it carefully, but firm. Your touch blended so well with his dream that it took him a bit before he noticed. Fabric rustled as he turned to look at you, your head rested on the edge of the bed. You had pulled up a chair next to him, and although he couldn't tell since you were facing away, he guessed you were sleeping. 

Aki felt his body relax and his heartbeat slow once he saw you, and for a minute he was settled there, simply enjoying the feeling of your hand in his. It was warm. So warm. 

He could tell from his surroundings that he must be in the hospital. How long had he been asleep? Or, more importantly, how long had you been waiting for him to wake up? Hopefully he didn't worry you for too long, he thought, and as he attempted to recall how he got himself into this in the first place, the memory of the day prior began to return. 

That's right, you and him were dispatched on an extermination mission for the Spike Devil, and that's where he became injured. He remembered fighting alongside you, stepping in front of you, and taking a spike right through his stomach. Aki could feel his middle wrapped in something snug, and to confirm it true, he snaked his free hand up his hospital gown. Sure enough, when his fingers met his side, he felt the smooth cotton of a bandage cloth. 

The next thing he recalled was the pain. How sharp and hot it was, and then the feeling of almost dying that followed. It felt oddly calm, like slipping into a peaceful slumber, but now, the mental image it conjured utterly terrified him. 

He summoned the Fox Devil, didn't he? Yeah, he definitely did. He can't forget to feed it later. 

You weren't hurt, were you? No, if you were here now, you must have gotten out safely. Aki remembered your panicked voice as you begged for him to stay awake. The look on your face that shot a bullet through his heart when he realized you were crying. He remembered being held in your arms, slowly slipping away, whispering his last words… 

Oh, fuck. They were supposed to be his last words, anyways, but considering he was alive and well right now, they certainly didn't turn out to be. He wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. 

In the moment, his mind was in shambles, and all he was concerned with was making sure something left his mouth so you could hear his voice one last time. He wanted those words to be meaningful and good, but he didn't have much time nor energy left to decide on them. The grim prospect of death was staring him right in the eyes, and he could tell from the dwindling sand within the hourglass that he didn't have much time left. He dug a hole for his own grave, and as he did, he unearthed feelings he had long since buried in the dirt. In the moment, all he could think of was not allowing those feelings to be forever buried alongside him. 

Aki could feel his heart constrict in his chest. I love you. I love you. I love you. Each resoundment was like a punch to the gut, echoing throughout his head, spoken in his own voice. Out of all the things he could have said, why did he have to go with that? Maybe it would have been endearing if he had actually ended up six feet under, but in this instance, all he did was force his feelings onto you. 

He shouldn't have said it. The time and place couldn't have been any more horrible. You shouldn't feel pressured to accept his confession just because he almost died, so Aki decided the first thing he's going to do when you wake up is take it all back. He'll tell you he didn't mean any of it, even if that was an outright lie. 

Speaking frankly, Aki didn't know much about love, but somewhere down the line, he became pretty sure he was in love with you. He could feel it clearly in the way his heart came alive every time he was around you, and in the way your presence alone brought him so much peace. You treated his life as anything but expendable, and you cared about him in a way almost no-one else ever has. There was something about you that captivated him and made him grow him very, very attached, until before he realized what was happening, you became the most precious thing in his life. 

Nevertheless, for so many reasons, he swallowed those feelings and kept them concealed. You were his partner firstly, his friend secondly, and he couldn't allow something stupid like this to get in the way of either of your jobs. Besides, if you grew closer to each other, it would only lead to more hurt when one of you inevitably departed. Aki had to keep you at a certain distance. For his own sake and yours, you two could never be more than friends. 

But when you find yourself on the brink of death, something about you changes. You start thinking of all those things you've tried to keep hidden and you're met with a choice: speak now, or die beside them. 

Oh, whatever. What's done is done, so it's not worth agonizing over now, is it? 

Searching for something to distract himself, Aki finally decided to push himself up, doing so slowly as to not wake you. The second he rose, he immediately felt the strain of fatigue on his body, like a hook held by a taut line threatening to drag him backwards. The slightest bit of movement also triggered a steady throb in his side. He brushed strands of long hair from his face, rubbed some of the stress from his temple, and forced himself to stay up. 

A dull flash of lightning brought his attention to the window beside him. Gentle droplets tapped against the glass, then steadily cascaded down, obscuring the view with blurry streaks of water. Dark, puffy clouds hung low in the sky and blotted out the light from the sun. The slosh of water could be heard when cars in the streets below passed by, headlights casting streaks of yellow that travelled across the room. 

For a while, Aki watched the rain, the soft rhythm beginning to settle his thoughts. He could still feel your hand in his, and he faintly closed his fingers around it, holding it in a tender grip. The drizzle outside bounced off of the sidewalk and soaked into the soil. Where it had the chance, it collected into puddles that reflected the city's colorful glow. It could have been his imagination, but he swore the storm was only picking up. 

"Aki?" 

A voice calling his name stirred him, but before he could fully turn towards it, before he could even form a word in response, you had already flung forward and wrapped your arms around him. Aki's breath hitched in his throat. For a few seconds, he stalled, before he hesitantly returned the embrace, shaky arms clutching around your back. Loosely at first, but tight when he gave in. 

You held him close, close enough that how glad you were to see he was okay was conveyed through your touch alone, and without a single word spoken, he understood. You could feel his heart beating through his chest and the fabric of his clothes was balled up tight in your hands. 

His heartbeat. In the grand scheme of things, it was inconsequential, but hearing it now made it sound like the world's most perfect melody. 

Although his lips trembled like there was something he wished to say, Aki was rendered speechless until you pulled apart. You held his shoulders, the look on his face one of relief. When he met your gaze, he got lost in your eyes, and when he spoke to end the silence, his voice was low. To hear it after so long made it sound especially comforting. 

"How long have you been here?" 

"Since this afternoon," You replied, "They've been letting me off work early 'cause I can't patrol without a buddy." 

Aki looked away, his face tensed in thought, and you spoke again, figuring you knew what was on his mind. "You've been asleep for three days now." 

Three days? He should be grateful he wasn't out for longer, but three days was still far too long to have left you worrying about him. He was so stupid, so sloppy, such an idiot. How could he let something like this happen? 

Aki sighed, "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? For what?"

"Fuck, for everything," He answered, his voice fragile, like it was glass about to break into a million little pieces. "For failing you, for making you worry about me, for what I-" 

The hospital room's door opening with a creak caused Aki to trail off, his attention and yours shifted to a nurse standing in the hallway. 

The nurse stated simply, "Visiting hours were over a long time ago."

Your hesitation made Aki almost think you were going to protest, but instead, you responded, "Okay, I'm leaving in a minute." 

When the nurse left, you pulled Aki into another curt hug. You were about to tell him not to apologize because there was nothing to apologize for, but when he rested his head on your shoulder, you heard him say quietly into your ear, "You should leave now anyways, the rain is picking up."

As much as you didn't want to, you cut the hug short and decided to leave the conversation there, since it seemed like what Aki wanted you to do. You began shuffling around the room to find your belongings. "Yeah, I guess you're right, but I wanted to talk to you for longer." 

"I know. Me too."

"I'll come back tomorrow as soon as I'm off work." You said, pulling your arms through the sleeves of your jacket. 

Aki shook his head, "That's not necessary." 

"You don't want me to?" 

Of course he wanted you to. If he was truly listening to his heart, he would have begged for you to stay and never fucking leave his side again. But he has to listen to his head. 

"No, just… Don't worry about me, okay? I'll call you when I get out, we can talk more when I'm feeling better." 

"Alright. Do you need anything before I go?" 

"I could use a cigarette, but I doubt they'll let me smoke in here, so..." Aki pondered with a shrug of his shoulders, but without a care for what he just said, you rooted around in your jacket pocket, tossing a lighter and then a half-full pack of cigarettes at him. He saw them out of the corner of his eye and spun to catch them with ease. 

You were about to leave the room, but as you grabbed the door handle, you stopped to say one more comment, "Hey, make sure you get some rest, alright?" 

"Didn't I tell you not to worry about me?" 

In response, you only chuckled. 

Aki spoke between the cigarette already placed between his teeth, "Be safe." 

"I will, see you later. Call me." 

Aki waved, and after catching one last glimpse of him, you left and closed the door behind you. 

—

Aki never called you. 

After almost a week of not hearing from him, you decided to take matters into your own hands. You went to the hospital first, only to find his room empty upon opening the door. You flagged down a nurse, who informed you he left a few days ago. Against the wishes of his doctor, might they add. Yeah, sounds just like him. 

So next, you tried to call his phone, but of course, it rang infinitely without an answer. When that plan failed, you didn't waste any time trying to leave voicemails. You got in your car and drove right to his apartment. 

Considering what the nurse told you, it wasn't hard to believe he was ignoring you because he was trying to get some rest, but considering what you knew about Aki, the real reason was probably because he didn't want you to fuss over him. It was either that or he was too embarrassed to talk to you. 

You parked in front of his apartment and then made your way to the door. The sun hung low in the sky, casting orange ribbons of light upon everything it touched. A sharp chill was settled in the air, leaving goosebumps on your arms in its wake. You raised your knuckle and knocked. 

No answer. 

You rung the doorbell, hearing the muffled chime resound from inside. 

No answer, again. 

The lights weren't on, but his car was parked in the lot, so he definitely was here. Was he okay? Something didn't happen to him, did it? You're starting to get a little nervous. 

You were about to try knocking at the door again, but to your surprise, it unlocked with a click. You hurriedly moved your hand away, and when it swung open, you couldn't hold back a sigh in relief. 

Aki leant on the doorframe, his hair down and an utter mess. He was wearing comfortable clothing, what you assumed to be his pajamas, and a weary look was present in his eyes. Maybe he actually was resting after all. He eyed you up and down before asking in a flat tone, "What are you doing here? Do you need something?" 

You scoffed, "You said you would call me and you didn't, idiot." 

"Oh, sorry." Aki replied, his attitude standoffish, and he averted his eyes, looking down at the floor. 

Could he be any less subtle about this? At least you were here now, so he couldn't avoid you for any longer. 

"Can you let me in? It's cold out here." You said, crossing your arms. 

Aki appeared to be unsure, but regardless, he opened the door further and moved aside, allowing you to walk in before he closed it behind you. The second you entered, a heavy warmth settled over your body like a cocoon. The familiar smell of his apartment and the distinct musk of his cigarettes filled your lungs. The scent was comforting, albeit a little suffocating, but it smelled exactly like him, and that's what you loved about it. His living room was lit solely by the rays of light shining through the balcony's sliding glass door. 

He wobbled past you, and before he sunk down on the couch, you noticed how he was clutching his side. "There's beer in the fridge if you want one," He said, grabbing a can from the coffee table in front of him. 

You rolled your eyes, but decided to take him up on that offer, walking over to the kitchen. "Isn't it bad to drink while you're recovering?" 

Aki brought the can to his lips, head tilted back as he took a drink. After a swallow, he simply stated, "It helps take the edge off." 

After rummaging around in the fridge, you grabbed a beer can of your own, cracking it open with a satisfying hiss. The bitter taste of alcohol pricked at your throat when you took a sip, and as you made your way to the living room, you looked at Aki again. He didn't look to be in much pain, but he was still holding his stomach like something was sore there. His expression was plagued by exhaustion and his hair was in total disarray. He probably hadn't even brushed it since he got home. Most curiously, his arm was wrapped in bandages stained a dark red from dried blood. 

"Aki, are you alright?" You asked, plopping next to him, the couch sinking under your weight. 

"I'm fine." 

"You don't look fine." You snapped back after his curt response, pointing to his arm as he brought the beer can to his mouth again, "How'd you get that? Have you been changing your bandages at all?" 

"I fed the Fox Devil flesh from my arm in exchange for using its power." 

"You didn't answer my second question." 

Aki looked away, unresponsive. There was your answer, you supposed. You took another swig of your beer before setting it on the table and pushing yourself up. 

"Where are you going?" Aki asked, peering up at you. 

"Bathroom." 

This was far from the first time you'd hung out at Aki's place, so you knew exactly where the bathroom was. You dug through all the cabinets and drawers until you found everything you were looking for: a roll of bandages, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, a washcloth, and his hairbrush. 

When you returned, Aki immediately saw everything you were holding and a slight look of annoyance formed on his face. "You don't have to-"

"Come on, let me help you." You interrupted, setting everything down on the table besides the brush, which you held in your hand. "Face forward, I'm gonna brush your hair first." 

Aki gave a few more flustered comments, but you ignored them. You stood behind him and grabbed his chin when he tried to twist around, tilting his head back until it was forwards. Realizing there was no sense in fighting you, Aki sighed rather dramatically and reluctantly kept still, allowing you to run the hair brush through his tangles. 

You were gentle, as much as you possibly could be, anyways. Aki tried his hardest to keep still. It was impossible for you to tell from this angle, but if you could see his flushed face, you would know he was totally embarrassed. Not embarrassed enough to stop you though, of course. It's fine if you wanted to brush his hair, because he definitely wasn't enjoying this and his heart definitely wasn't pounding right now. 

"Hey, Aki, I have something I've been meaning to ask you." 

"Yeah, what is it?" 

Oh, were you finally going to ask him about his last words? It's okay, he already prepared what he was going to say, so it'd be fine. It'd be awkward, but he'll get over it, you'll get over it, and everything will go back to normal. 

"On our last mission, why did you step in front of me?" 

Why did he… do what? For a second, Aki was taken aback. This isn't what he expected you to say, not at all, in fact. Was this really all you were wondering about? 

At first, he isn't sure why. In the heat of the moment, the only thing in control was his reflexes, and when he protected you, he did so without a conscious thought. But the more he thought about it, the more the answer became obvious to him. 

Aki is used to losing partners. It's nothing new, and even though he tells himself he's not going to get attached, he always does. When they die, reduced to nothing but ash, their souls burn on in his memory, haunting him until he drowns in salty tears and the thick smoke of another cigarette. They're replaced with hardly any time given to mourn, and the cycle repeats itself. The world discards them, but he never will. 

The thing is, you're not just another partner to him. You're not just someone who can be easily replaced. You meant so much to him, more than you would ever really know. If you died, you'd be taking a piece of him with you, and the void left behind is one he would never be able to fill again. Not with anyone else. Not with the cigarettes or the alcohol or the rush from fighting devils. Nothing else would compare. 

Aki is tired of this, and he realized he was a long time ago. He's sick of the world giving him something he thinks he can cherish, but no matter how tight he holds on, it always ends up slipping away, right between his grasp. He can't do this anymore. He can't sit back and be complacent, allowing the cycle to repeat itself over and over again until everything he finds beautiful is wilted, all right before his eyes. He can't sit back and let this shitty world win. 

He doesn't care about all the pain he's in now. The temporary sting from this injury doesn't compare to how much it hurts to lose someone he cares about, a wound that aches everlasting. And he knows he could have died, he knows the feeling of death to an uncomfortable degree. But if keeping you safe means giving up his life for yours, he'd do it in a heartbeat, and he did. 

Hah, finally, he understands her now. He finally gets all those letters he read that day, why she wanted him to quit so badly, why she kept him alive. This was what she must have been feeling back then, wasn't it? And when he protected you, must he have been feeling the same emotions she was? 

"Aki, did you hear me?"

"I did it because I didn't want to see you hurt." 

You stopped for a moment, before exhaling a long sigh. "I don't want to see you hurt either, you know. You could have died." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Don't apologize, just next time, let's both be more careful. I don't want you dying on me any time soon." 

Aki didn't say anything back, half expecting you to ask him something else, but the discussion stagnated. 

I don't want you dying on me any time soon. How could one little sentence carry so much weight? He'll try, God, he'll try. He'll do anything and everything in his power to stay with you for as long as he can. 

By this point, you finished brushing out his hair, and it was soft to the touch when you ran your fingers through to make sure you didn't miss any knots. One thing's for sure, it looked a hell of a lot better than when you started. 

"All done," You said while moving to stand in front of him, setting the brush down on the table, "I'm going to do your bandages now, take off your shirt."

"Huh?" 

"I said I'm going to do your bandages now. I'll do the wound on your side first since that's gonna be the harder one." 

"No, no," Aki shook his head, reaching for the bandages, "I'll do it." 

You promptly put your hand on his and pushed it away. "No, you won't. Aki, please. Let me help you." 

Although his mouth opened like he was about to argue, he ultimately kept it shut, the pleading tone in your voice convincing him. He sunk back on the couch and his gaze avoided yours as he reached down, grasping the hem of his shirt and pulling it up and over his head, the faintest blush dusted on his cheeks when he tossed it aside. 

It's the first time you've seen Aki without a shirt, and under it, he's a lot more fit than you expected him to be. His body is lean, but with defined muscle. Especially in his biceps, which you would assume is from wielding a sword. Bruises kissed his skin and scars decorated every last inch. You could imagine each one telling a different story: some of sorrow, some of triumph, but all a reminder that through everything, he lived. Just below his ribs, stained bandages were wrapped tightly. 

"Uhm, how should I…" You stood in front of him, leaning down, attempting to figure out the best way to go about this. After feeling around, you located the end of the bandage, pulling on it and beginning to unwrap it from around his body. You could see the gentle rise and fall of his chest and hear the sound of his breathing: soft, and a little shaky. The angle was awkward and quickly caused an ache in your back, so to alleviate it, you rested your knee on his legs. 

When the last of the bandage was unwrapped, you finally got a good look at his wound, and the only thing you could think was this would definitely leave his biggest scar yet. The cut was sealed by stitches and travelled up the length of his abdomen, dried blood coated around it. 

You took the bottle of rubbing alcohol from the table, then the washcloth, pouring a small amount onto the surface. When you turned back to him, you decided the easiest way to continue would be to climb into his lap. 

Aki couldn't hide the blush on his cheeks anymore, nor could he stifle the way his breath hitched when he felt your weight settle on top of him. You were so close, way too close, and when you shuffled against him, his entire face suddenly felt very, very hot. He could feel the warmth all the way from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. 

"Alright, this is probably going to hurt. Are you ready?" 

"Uh, yeah." 

God, why was he so embarrassed? Why couldn't he calm down? His heart was thrumming against his ribcage, pounding so hard he wouldn't be surprised if you could hear it through his chest like he could hear it in his eardrums. With you pressed up against his lap, he could admire the details on your face like he never could before. The curve of your nose, (Was it always so perfect?) the color of your eyes, (Were they always this beautiful?) each and every mark and… and he didn't know where the hell to put his hands. Maybe he should… No, it'd be best if he just- 

"Ow! Holy fucking shit that hurts, why didn't you warn me?!" 

"I did, you dumbass." 

The second you pressed the rag to his cut, a sharp sting shot through him and he flinched back instinctively. When you pressed it to him again, he tensed up and subsequently jerked away. 

"Aki, you need to hold still." 

"Sorry." 

You gave him a second to compose himself before trying once more. Aki winced and swore under his breath, but he was able to keep still this time. You cleaned around his wound carefully, taking the washcloth away to give him a break whenever he squirmed or made it obvious he was in pain. Searching for something to hold onto, he grabbed your shoulder, squeezing tight to ground himself. 

"You shouldn't have left the hospital so early, this looks horrible." You ascertain. 

"I- shit, ow… I need to get back to work, I've-" He cuts himself off with a sharp intake of air, "I've lost enough time already."  

The pain stung like all hell, but there was something about being looked after by you that felt nice, almost calming, in a way. There was also something about how you fit in his lap that felt so, so right. Aki could hardly get over that feeling, and when he was squirming too much so you gently held his waist to keep him still, your soft touch against his bare skin was tender and heavenly and perfect. Any more of this, and his heart might pop like a balloon. 

"I'm almost done," You said softly, your tone comforting, "You're doing good, hang in there for me." 

Aki gave a quick nod and you continued. You cleaned the entire length of the wound, and once you thought your work was sufficient, the next thing you grabbed from the table was the fresh roll of bandages. You began wrapping them around him, winding them up the width of his body once, then twice, then a third time for good measure. When you were finished, you asked him, "Are you okay?" 

Aki merely nodded again. 

"Are the bandages too tight?" 

He shook his head. You secured the bandage with a knot, and when you started to slide off of him, Aki suddenly stopped you by grabbing your arm. 

He can't let this moment end. Not right now. Not when he needs it. Not when he's needed you for so long. 

"Wait," He said nervously, swallowing, "Can we… Can we stay like this for a little bit longer?" 

You smiled, "Of course." 

You slid back into his lap, carefully straddling him, and Aki couldn't help but feel the way your body connected to his was like puzzle pieces finally fitting together. He's not sure if he planned to or if it was purely by natural reflex, but he was a slight bit bolder this time when he allowed his hands to find your waist and hold it faintly through the fabric of your clothes. 

"Are you alright?" You asked him. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just really missed you." 

To be honest, that didn't even begin to scratch the surface. Aki missed you so goddamn much. He longed for your touch, for your mere presence alone. To have you in his lap now was a blessing, and what he didn't tell you was on that day, when he woke up at the hospital and you wrapped your arms around him, the feeling which leapt through his heart was the most he's felt in a long, long time. 

Fuck, he was so stupid. Why did he ever try to push you away? Why did he think that was a good idea? 

"I missed you too." You replied. 

"I'm sorry, I should have called you." 

"Aki," You said with a half-hearted laugh, "It's okay." 

"No," Aki shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing, "It's not, and I'm sorry. It's not okay for me to get hurt so badly I'm out for three days, or for me to ignore you, and I won't let it happen again. I promise." 

His expression seemed to soften, and the next thing to leave his mouth was spoken a little quieter, a little softer, and much, much warmer.

"I don't ever want to be apart from you, not for that long. You matter too much to me." 

The way he said it so genuinely took you by surprise and ignited a little feeling inside your heart. It was a few seconds before you responded, "I don't want to be apart from you either." 

The room grew silent, and in between the two of you, only deep breaths and lingering gazes behind heavy blinks of eyelashes were exchanged. The sun is nearly set by now, the day nearly spent. Twilight casts the faintest lush glow of orange on half of Aki's face, and the other is obscured by the dark shadow the light creates. The way it makes him look is practically ethereal, and your hand starts to drag up, up, until you're caressing his jawline, cupping his cheek, feeling warmth radiate from his skin when he leans into your touch. 

Aki's not really sure what it was, or how it happened, but something fell into place right then. A want turned into a need turned into a desire, and Aki knew, he knew he was done for, but quite frankly, he didn't care. 

He shouldn't be doing this, should he? His fingers shouldn't be trailing under your shirt. They shouldn't be shaking, climbing slowly upwards until he can study your waist, the dip of your sides, the outline of your ribs. He shouldn't be losing himself to you, nor should he be allowing you to touch him so earnestly, so intimately. 

With one hand, you toy with the piercings on his earlobes, and the other you run up the back of his neck, tangling it in his hair until he can feel tingles throughout his scalp. Meanwhile, he touches you with the delicacy of feather-light fingertips against your skin, like he was scared you might shatter if he wasn't careful, and the nervousness of unsure movements and trembling hands. And when he does so, he shouldn't be wanting more. If he shouldn't be doing this, why did it feel so good, and so right? 

All he knew anymore was right now he wanted, no, he needed you, more of you. More of your touch, more of everything you'd be willing to give him, and then some. He needed you to take him somewhere far away from this world, because when you touch him like this, he doesn't feel empty anymore. He doesn't want it to end, even if he should, even if it would be the smarter choice. Truth is, he's been cold inside ever since that snowy day, and this is the most warmth in his soul he thinks he's felt since then. 

You're his partner, nothing more. But in this space away from reality, inhabited by just the two of you, the world of devils doesn't really fucking matter. 

Maybe it's because he was a little tipsy, or maybe it's just because he was high on you, but his mind was a dream-filled haze, and with a budding, lovesick ache in his chest, Aki felt words blossom until they were falling from his mouth like petals, words he thought he would never say again. 

"I love you." 

It came so naturally, as did his affectionate hold on your chin between his thumb and finger, as did the way you whispered I love you too in return without missing a beat. 

Do you? It felt like a dream, but if it was, this was one Aki definitely didn't want to wake up from. 

I do, always have. It wasn't a dream, it was real. You loved him. You said you loved him, and he didn't even know how to process it. He didn't know where to begin. But with you right here, he didn't think, he didn't complicate it, he just believed you. He let his heart take control and allowed everything to unfold. 

His eyes dropped to your lips, and then gravity started to pull him in closer, closer, listlessly, his hand seeming to guide you forwards in the same way. His voice was quiet when he asked, Can I kiss you? and your response only came in the form of eyes fluttering closed and your mouth pressed against his. 

His lips were soft, hesitant, woven with sparks, filled with a longing he didn't even know he had, and to him, yours felt like a dizzying sense of relief. All of his longing, all of his infatuation. All of the times he was so close to you but stopped himself from doing anything more. All of the indirect kisses shared through sticks of cigarettes. All of it led up to this. And yet, the moment was cut short when he pulled away almost as quickly as he leaned in. 

When you met his gaze, you smiled, and told him, "You can kiss me like you really mean it, you know."

"Like… Like how?" 

"Like this." 

Your lips sought his again, but this time they pressed harder, for longer. In between struggles for breath, your mouths parted. Suddenly, your hands were becoming lost in his hair and he was kissing you much deeper than he ever could have expected or imagined. He tasted vaguely like cigarettes and beer, the ones you both always smoke, the kind you both always drink. Comfortingly familiar. 

It had been forever since he'd kissed someone, and never since he'd been kissed like this, so everything was clumsy and messy. The dance became one you were teaching him how to do, and eventually, he started to get the hang of it. He was hesitant at first, but when he pulled you closer by your waist and you rocked your hips hard against where he was stiff beneath you, all nervousness and any attempt to control himself went out the window. 

Sucking on your tongue has him feeling lightheaded, and with soft sighs and gasps echoed between each other, it was then that Aki realized: you didn't just taste like his cigarettes, you felt like them too. Your lips on his felt like the way nicotine soothes your lungs, working its way into your blood until you're left hopelessly addicted. 

When you pulled apart, he was breathing heavily, eyes filled with lust and an almost divine sense of adoration. Your hand pressed to his chest, the steady beat of his heart thrumming beneath, and you pushed him until he settled backwards. Tender kisses were blessed to his cheek, his jaw, his neck, where he tilted his head up to give you better access, and then you kissed the Adam's apple in his throat, where he let out the sweetest whine. 

Your lips traced downwards, and where they did, they wrote words Aki wished he could etch forever into his skin. There was a kiss on his collarbone, then one on his chest, over a faded scar. Another, on top of a bruise, and although still sore, the pain was drowned out by tingles of pleasure. 

If it's possible for heaven to exist on Earth, Aki thinks this might be what it's like. 

Somewhere down the line, his hand met yours. When exactly? He doesn't know, but what he does know is your fingers fit into the crooks of his too perfectly to be a coincidence. He knows it's ridiculous, but it has him thinking perhaps, his hands weren't meant to summon devils or hold the hilt of a blade. They were meant for something more like this. 

Somewhere down the line more, he's asking, Can I touch you? and the hand that's free is moving on its own the second he sees you nod, his palm exploring wherever it oh so desperately wants to. It slips under your bra, caressing and squeezing your breasts, rolling the nipple between delicate fingers. Callouses morph his touch into a mix of rough and gentle, providing the slightest bitter reminder. 

A moment of clarity finally befalls him when he notices your fingers playing with the drawstrings of his pants. A moment which whispers to him, Hey, this is your last chance to get a grip, are you going to take it? He chooses to pretend he didn't hear. 

Actually, he chooses to go directly against the little voice in his head when he grabs your hand, his fingertips brushing against your knuckles as he starts to guide it down, down, right to where he's craving it to be. There's a gnawing hunger for more that festers in his heart, in his stomach, and in between his legs and… For fuck's sake, when did he get so hard? He's so turned on it hurts… Was all of this just from a little kissing? 

He's hopeless. Way more hopeless than he thought, way more needy than he thought. And who can blame him? No-one has ever touched him like this or loved him so strongly, not once in his life. Certainly you can't blame him for being a little desperate. 

So if he wants you to touch him, you will. If he wants you to make him feel good, you'll make him feel even better, all because he deserves it. He works so goddamn hard, he's been through so much. He deserves to be happy, he deserves to be pleasured, he deserves to be loved. He deserves to have a break from how horrible the world can be and indulge in something much sweeter. 

You know exactly what he needs, and so, you give it to him. Grant him a little taste to hold over his appetite. And God, when you do, Aki's mind is so far down the gutter there's truly no hope of saving him. (Not like there ever really was, anyway.) 

"Fuck," Aki swears under his breath once you palm the shape of his dick through his pants, nearly stuttering. When he speaks again, his voice is barely uttering the words, but they roll off his mouth so effortlessly that he hardly knows what he's saying anymore. "Right there baby, just like that, holy shit…" 

It doesn't take long before his legs are starting to squirm and his head is tossed back, needy moans punctuated by his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. His hand flies to cover his mouth in an attempt to muffle the noise, and his hips rut upwards in a desperate plea for friction. Even though you're only rubbing him through his sweatpants, the feeling that pumps through his veins, settles in his core: it's addictive. He can feel himself sitting thick and heavy against his thigh, leaking out all over it. Your touch feels so damn good he doesn't even notice when your hand slips down, past the hem, until it starts feeling a whole hell of a lot better. 

One less layer of fabric makes all the difference. You can feel the outline of his cock more prominently, big and incredibly hard, the cotton of his boxers damp and slightly see-through over the tip. He needs something to hold onto, anything, so he grabs your waist with a firm, white-knuckled grip. The way you're squeezing him and rolling your palm is driving him fucking crazy and he knows he can't hold back anymore, not when it feels this amazing, not when he wants it this bad. All it takes is one more grind into your hand before he's on the edge, and when everything is tumbling over, he's riding it out and letting it happen. 

Cries of your name are entangled with gasps for air as he finishes, cumming right in his boxers. His back arches into you, his entire body tensing before it abruptly goes limp. His moans are so perfect, and the way he whimpers even after his release is absolutely adorable. 

You give him a moment to catch his breath and recollect himself, his chest rising and falling with force. You reach up, brushing his messy hair from his face and tucking it behind his ears. Then, you lean forward, lips connecting with the nape of his neck. The skin gives between your teeth, and he sighs when you softly suck a deep mark, one you know will last 'til morning. 

He must be so pent up. That's the only explanation behind him cumming before he's barely been touched, before you've barely even done anything. He must have never been touched by anyone like this. Hell, he probably didn't even touch himself like this. There must be so much built up tension, so much that he's starved for any kind of touch, so much that he'd get hard from just a kiss, from just you sitting in his lap. 

You want to touch him more, give him more, give him everything until he's whole again. You can help him relieve some of that tension, couldn't you? 

You pull back, admiring the bloom of dark purple on his neck, before kissing his jaw. Then, you trail up, where you nibble at the metal piercing on his earlobe, kiss the shell of his ear, and whisper, "Can you keep going?" 

Aki's mind is in a complete daze when he answers, his voice light, like he's high, "Yeah…" 

Your thumb hooks around the waistband of his pants and the briefs he's made a mess out of, and he raises his hips to help you pull both garments down just as far as necessary. You know his dick wants to come free so bad, and when it does, it springs up and taps against his abdomen. 

Aki can hear you spit into your hand, hear his heart pounding in his ears like a drum. He knows what you're going to do, but he's still nervous. The anticipation might kill him, but he's too embarrassed to look, so when your hand suddenly wraps around him, the surprise causes him to jolt and his breath to catch in his throat. 

His pretty cock has a certain weight to it, a certain curve and thickness which makes your fist fit perfectly around it. Paying careful attention to the high he just came down from, you stroke him slowly, gently, almost in a lazy manner, sliding off of his lap and making yourself comfortable beside him so you're able to get a more desirable grip. The mixture of his slick and your spit is enough to make your hand glide up and down easily, echoing a soft, wet sound. Your shoulder is pressed to his, and here, you're able to utter the quietest of words into his ear. 

"Does it feel good?" 

Aki nods. "Mhmm…" 

"How good? Tell me." 

"Really good, really really good… Ah, fuck-" Aki momentarily cuts himself off when your palm swipes against the sensitive tip, his hips rocking upwards desperately, "Please, don't stop." 

It feels amazing. Being touched by someone else like this, and that someone being the one he's so desperately in love with. It's like nothing he's ever felt before. It's making his head spin, like he can see stars. He's already fully hard again, and he can feel himself fucking throbbing. 

"Do you want more?" 

"Yes…" Aki groans between sucks of air through his teeth. He's thrusting into your tight grip shamelessly now, his dick sliding in and out of the hole you've made with your fingers, to the point where you don't even have to move it anymore. He's whining, getting himself off on your hand and dribbling precum all over it, all by his own doing. 

"What do you want?" 

"I- You- I…" His attempts to get the words out mostly end in failure until you hear him swallow, and with a sigh, he admits, "I want to fuck you." 

His comment is direct, way more inappropriate than you thought possible for him to say, and goes straight between your legs. It's hard to keep up your previous confidence now, but still, you tease, "Do you? How bad do you want it?" 

"I want it so bad, I want more of you, I want to be inside you," Aki begs, each sentence punctuated by a breath as he fucks your hand, "I need you so goddamn much. You don't understand." 

"Yeah? You wanna fuck me so badly, huh? I can tell." 

"Yes, yes… Fuck- I'm gonna cum again, I'm gonna cum, oh my God-" 

You jerk him off as his thrusts take on an unsteady rhythm and all of the sudden, Aki is falling apart in your grasp, moaning as he cums all over his chest and his stomach. It shoots out in ropes, and even when he thinks he's done, it still drips out of his cock, coating your hand and making your fingers sticky. And after everything, even once he's came, he's still half-way hard and thrusting slowly into your hand like he can't get enough. 

You abruptly take your hand off of him and he whines in dismay. You lick your fingers first, then shift back on his lap and bend down, dragging your tongue from the bottom to the top. Over his stomach, over his bandages, up his abs and over his chest, all the way until he's squirming and you've licked up every last drop of his cum. 

When you're finished, you comment, "I think I understand a little." 

"Huh?" Aki replies, still catching his breath. 

"I mean I understand when you said you need me." 

"Do I make it that obvious?" 

You smirk and plant a faint kiss on his lips, one that makes his heart jump a little in his chest, and then pull back to speak against them, "You always have." 

Aki grabs your chin and goes to drag you in for another, but he's interrupted when you're blabbering, "Wait, wait, wait, wait," and pulling yourself away from him. 

"What?" 

You point to where his arm is wrapped in bandages, "I need to take care of that. I'll give you what you want after." 

Aki can't even attempt to hide his disappointment before it's plastered all over his face. "Are you serious? Can't it wait?" 

"You're not going to want to do it later, so no, it can't." 

Ugh, he knows you're right. Once he gets started with you, he's not going to be able to stop, and either you're going to forget, or both of you are going to end up too exhausted. He knows he has to listen to you, but fuck if it isn't frustrating to have to control himself right now. Honestly, he's not sure if he can, and he definitely doesn't want to. He needs you and he's tired of waiting any longer, so he brazenly asks, "Can you do it while I'm inside? On my lap?" 

You brush off the vulgarity of his comment as to not let it affect you, but it's hard to ignore the feeling between your legs when you start to imagine it. "I can't multitask like that. I want this as badly as you do, you know." 

"I won't move. I just want to feel you."

He seems awfully sure of himself with that statement, so sure you almost believe him, so sure you're starting to consider it…  

"Are you sure you can't wait?" 

"I can't."

"You're annoyingly stubborn, you know that?" 

Aki watched your hands find the bottom of your shirt, where you grasped at the hem and pulled, wrestling it and your bra over your head before tossing both articles of clothing in a heap on the floor. You reached for your pants next, and he asked, "Is that a yes then?" 

"It will be if you help me." Came your reply, your pants and underwear discarded at the same time, just as hastily. 

"With what…?" 

Your answer comes in the form of you straddling him, grabbing his hand, and bringing his fingers to your lips. 

The sight that follows is one Aki simply cannot begin to tear his eyes away from. It's a bit befuddling at first: the way your mouth parts, and the way you lick a prudent stripe of saliva up the length of his middle and ring finger. When you take the digits further, pushing them down your throat, wet and hot tongue swirling around them, Aki's breath gets caught in his lungs, and it's there that he realizes what you're trying to do. 

His gaze remains fixated to the display. You're sucking on his fingers, gagging, practically choking on them with tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. They're getting all wet and messy with your spit and drool. It's such a fucking cocktease, and it's making him imagine things he shouldn't be imagining, but things he absolutely needs. He doesn't protest when you drag his fingers out, prop yourself up on your knees, and proceed to guide them right between your legs. 

Aki has no idea what to do and he's totally transfixed by you, so he allows you to press them inside you, and then he follows your lead, shoving them in the rest of the way. You groan when his fingers fill you, leaning over and whispering quietly in his ear, reassuring him, "I'll show you what to do, it's okay." 

You've taken his fingers all the way down to the knuckle. They're slender, trained, and fucking long, much longer than yours. They reach so deep inside, feel so amazing stretching you out. 

Aki really, really wants to make you feel good, and that's the only thing running through his mind as he concentrates fully on you. On the feeling of your cunt around his fingers, on your moans, on your beautiful face. He needs to return the favor for you, and he desperately wants to see how you look when you're overwhelmed by pleasure, hear how you sound when you can't hold back, and he wants all of it to be because of him. 

So he pays the closest attention. His fingers are slick from your saliva and spit, and he takes note of the way you're pressing them in and out. When you instruct him to curl them, he does so, and when you're screaming, There! Right there! he commits that spot, that movement of his fingers to memory. 

He's a rather fast learner. You understood this when you kissed him, but with the way he's working you, massaging that perfect spot inside again and again, you've become aware of it even more so. Your instructions were no longer needed, and Aki took the liberty of fucking you with his fingers all on his own, scissoring them, until you're getting wetter and wetter around the digits. They're so damn good to you, so perfect, as perfect as the way they sit between the crooks of your own. Surely, his hands were made for you. 

"So wet… It's squeezing so much." He mumbled quietly, half to himself, almost as if he's in awe. 

Searching for more stimulation, you maneuvered a hand to your clit, rubbing tight, hasty circles. Aki noticed your movement and your noises starting to pick up, so he innocently asked, "Can you show me what you're doing?" 

When you grab his hand and pull him out of you, Aki can feel the resistance, as if his fingers are being sucked back inside, and the thoughts that immediately manifest in his head would be enough to send him to hell ten times over. They come out covered in your slick, and you press them to your clit carefully. 

It takes him a little bit longer until he's got a good grasp on this one. He keeps a slow, deliberate pace, mindful of how your body reacts and the manner you're guiding him. He doesn't always find the sweet spot at first, but each time he manages to, it feels like utter bliss. In due time, he begins to pull more noises from you, and when your focus starts to shift from teaching him to grinding against his fingers, searching for more of your own pleasure, he starts to take the initiative. 

His fingers rub precise halos right where he can tell you're most sensitive. They're so disciplined, so dead on, and fuck, he's teasing you with them. Rubbing your clit determinedly before slowing down, stopping, edging, before starting up again, and repeating the process. His dick aches just by watching you and knowing he's making you come undone in this way, so he's trying to draw this out, make this last as long as possible. 

"Is this good?" Aki asks curiously, sweetly. 

"Yes! It feels amazing, oh my God, Aki-"

His name falling so deliciously from your lips makes his heart flutter before it goes right between his legs, making his cock throb. It's an abrupt, awkward realization when Aki notices he's been dribbling precum all over his abdomen, and probably all over his bandages too. Damn, between that and him finishing all over them, he's created more work for you, hasn't he? 

Your knees feel like they're going to give out, so you rest your hands on Aki's shoulders for support. Your breath is coming out in ragged gasps as you feel your release already close, and when your head dips, Aki is using his free hand to hold you up, support you, lovingly muttering into your ear, "I wanna make you cum baby. Are you gonna cum all over my fingers?" 

Everything in your core builds to a fever pitch, and all at once, you're wrapping your arms around him as you finish, clumsily grinding your hips against whatever part of his hand you can find, making it messy. His arm goes around your back, and he praises while you tremble, voice smooth and resolute, "Just like that baby, just like that. You're so beautiful when you cum." 

Aki holds you while you come down, and you almost, almost forgot what your objective was going into all this, until you can feel the bandages on his arm rubbing against your bare back. You're a bit reluctant to move, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't eager for more, eager to get his cock inside you. His fingers were one thing, but they weren't enough, and almost as if he can read your mind, Aki whispers low and breathy into your ear, "Do you want my dick, sweetheart?" 

He's asking you, but it's mostly his way of telling you, of prompting you. Telling you he wants you too, right now. And God you want it, need it, and you really don't need him to tell you twice. 

Your hand finds his cock and he sighs as you pump the length a few times, getting it wet with his precum. It's so hard, thick, and throbbing steadily beneath your palm. With how needy he is, it's impossible to tell he already came two times before this. 

You grasp the base and hover your hips over him, aligning it until the tip presses right against your entrance, prodding, teasing, so close but not quite and making your cunt pulse around nothing. He grabs your chin, tilting your head until he can look at you. His eyes meet yours, and behind the kind, cerulean gaze, is nothing but lust and desire. 

"Do you want it?" He asks again, unflinching. 

"Yes, I want it, yes…" 

"Then take all of it." 

Aki grabs your waist and pulls, guiding you to sink down on his cock. He's whimpering the moment he's inside of you, but he doesn't get greedy, continuing to drag you down awfully slow as he opts to enjoy the feeling of filling you up inch by inch. 

Your cunt is squeezing him so much, sucking him in, taking all of him so well. He's not sure what to focus on: your beautiful face contorted in pleasure, eyelids fluttering closed, or the near addictive view of his dick becoming buried further and further inside. The sight is somehow enough to make him even harder, and he can't contain himself from rolling his hips upward in tandem with pulling you on him further. 

It's you, it's him inside you, and holy shit, it's a feeling that's hardly set in yet. It doesn't hit him fully until he's stuffed in to the hilt, filling your stomach, with your weight settled on top of him. In this moment, it feels as though now, more than ever, the love he'd kept hidden for so long is finally tangible, finally real. He almost moves, nearly thrusts up, but he stutters and stops himself before he can once he sees you reaching behind you for the roll of bandages. 

Fuck, he almost forgot. 

"These first," You gesture to the bandage wrapped around his sides, speaking through ragged breaths, "You got them filthy." 

"Sorry." 

Despite the calm veneer you're trying your best to maintain, it's clear you're hurrying, unwrapping the bandages with haste and a hint of desperation. They're tossed to the side without a care when you're done. Aki's chest heaves with every shaky breath, so you instruct him to hold it, otherwise the bandages won't be secure. He complies, and when he does, he can hear his heartbeat in his ears, feel it pulse in his dick; it's near agonizing to keep still, and he hardly can. 

When you're finished there, you reach for his arm next. Thankfully, this wound isn't anywhere near as bad as his other one, but the press of the rag against it is still enough to give him a sharp sting. Trying to avoid hurting him too much, you slow down a bit and focus, well, as much focus as the situation will allow. 

Aki shifts beneath you, his hips fidgeting, fingers of his hand still held deft to your waist drumming against your skin just to keep himself busy. You can tell he's desperate for something more when you feel him twitch inside your stomach. Right now, he's so enthralled in you, in the feeling of being inside you, in being one with you. It's not long before the pain blends with pleasure and he doesn't even notice it anymore. He'll let you do whatever you want to his arm while he stares at you, drinking in the view like this'll be his last time seeing it. 

You wrap the roll of bandages around his arm once. He's shuddering, and he can't resist rutting his hips up a bit, just barely so that you won't notice, but just enough to get an ounce of relief. 

Twice. You've almost wrapped up the length of his arm. One more time, just one more time around and he'll get to fuck you. 

Three times. He's so dizzy the room is spinning. 

Four times. Fucking hell, he can't handle being teased like this, was now really the time to be this thorough? 

Finally, finally, after the fifth time, you wrap the last of the bandage around his arm, tear it off and tie it. The second you've tossed the roll aside, his hands are grabbing fistfuls of your hair to pull your lips onto his. The kiss is frantic, sloppy, and he's using way too much tongue, but you don't have the time to correct him, nor does he have the patience to be corrected. 

When Aki pulls away, he wipes the spit from his mouth with the back of his hand while thrusting into you, wasting no time at all to satisfy everything he'd been craving and fulfill the pleasure he was desperately waiting for. His grip on your waist guides you to bounce shallowly on his cock. He doesn't let you go up far before he's dragging you back down again, longing to stay deep inside you. Each press down has his eyes threatening to roll back into his head, and each thrust up has him moaning a pathetic string of swears, practically whining between every word. 

"Fuck, fuck… You feel so- a-ah, fucking good baby, oh my God-"

He reaches so deep inside you, and when he guides your body by your waist, it's not only for him, but for your needs as well. He tilts, curved cock fucking into you at just the right angle to hit the perfect spot like he was made for it. His hips are moving with reckless abandon now, rolling upwards to an unsteady, ragged rhythm. You hold his face, caress his parted lips with your thumb, feel his hot breath ghosting against your skin, and suddenly, he stops. His hips halt as he firmly holds you still, and his voice is rough, a bit hoarse when he gasps out, "Can we change positions?" 

You're a bit confused, but give an affirming nod. Aki pulls you off of him gently, slowly, savoring the feeling for as long as he can. When he's out, he uses his strength to easily twist you around until your back is on the couch and he's oriented above you, pulling his pants and boxers off the rest of the way and discarding them on the floor. Long, dark hair falls over his face in a mess, and he reaches up to comb a hand through, pushing it out of his vision so he can see all of you properly. 

"Are you okay with this? Are you comfortable?" Aki asks at barely more than a whisper, his eyes locked onto yours as he grips your thighs and tenderly pushes them open. When the couch has no more space to provide and your leg is about to slip off, he grabs it and tosses it over his shoulder. 

"Yeah, I'm okay," You answer, continuing to say, "Aki, don't push yourself. You're still injured, remember?" 

"I won't, I'll go slow. Don't worry." He affirms with the faintest smile. 

Aki's never been dirty-minded, but when he looks at you, allows his hands to take to your body, palms gliding up every curve of your form, his mind can't help but wander. You bring out something in him that he's never experienced before, something that makes him want to have his way with you. It's awfully strange to him, that feeling of wanting, of yearning. For so long, he's wanted a lot of things and never got them, but he's never desired something this selfish before. Every second of your time, every inch of your body, your everything, he wants all to himself. It feels good to want something, someone. 

Aki's never been much of a daydreamer, either, but he can't say he hasn't imagined this from time to time. Meaningless sex has never appealed to him, but sex with someone you trust, with someone you truly love, deeply and passionately, is another story. Being as close and as vulnerable as possible to another person, giving them all of you, and they trust you enough to give themselves in return; it's something he's always desired to experience at least once in his life before he dies. 

Yeah, maybe he shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't have let it get this far from the start. But after a lifetime of never being selfish, never getting anything he wanted, right now, what he should or should not be doing doesn't matter. All that matters is you under him. 

His hands settle on your hips, adjusting them until they're lined up with him, and then he leans down to murmur, "Are you ready?" And all that matters is the way you whisper back, "Yes, Aki, please, give it to me. I need you."

That's all it takes. That's all it takes before there's no going back, and Aki is fully drowning in this sensation of utter want and utter desperation. He's so easy to convince when it comes to you, always has been, and if you're telling him that you need him? Being needed by you is the best feeling in the world, and when you ask him like that, he couldn't deny you any longer even if he wanted to. 

Aki presses inside you steadily, colliding his mouth with yours and stealing a quick kiss to silence his moans, his hair tickling your face as he does. You're still so wet, and he slides in easy, filling you up until his hips are flush with yours and your legs are wrapping around his back, crossed at the ankles. When he pulls away, he notices your arms splayed above your head. He grabs your hand, linking his fingers with yours, his grip tight, safe, and familiar. Warm, for the first time in a long time. 

Aki doesn't move, not at first. He catches his breath, stares at you, at your face, admires everything he finds perfect about it. He can't stop himself from smiling now, and from the way you're smiling back, he's sure he must look like an idiot. So he lets his head fall, burying his face in the nape of your neck, softly mumbling, "God, you're so beautiful." 

When he finally does start moving, every drag of his cock out is done at an exceptionally slow, meticulous pace, and once he presses back in, he puts his full weight behind the roll of his hips, shoving himself as deep inside as he can possibly get. His breath is hot and quivering when he moans into your skin. 

"Oh my God," Aki whines, "You're so fucking good to me baby, feels so good… Can I go faster? Please?" 

It wasn't much of a question, more like a heads-up, because before you're even telling him yes, Aki's moving faster. He bites at your neck as he becomes a bit rougher, a bit less contained, but steady; he's still holding back. He leaves impressions of his teeth and places wet, open-mouthed kisses all over your neck, sending a tingle up your spine. Finally, he gives you one last kiss before he draws himself away, his eyes immediately connecting with yours. 

He's so damn pretty. Everything about him is pretty, from his staggered whimpers and moans in pleasure, to the lovely mark you've left on his neck, to his messy dark hair. It frames his face perfectly, and loose strands he has to keep pushing out of the way stick to his forehead from sweat. No-one gets to see him like this, with his hair down, since at work, he makes a habit of always keeping it up in his topknot. At work, he's a totally different person: the Division's strongest, coldest Devil Hunter. But here? He's just yours. 

You're the only one. The only person who knows how pretty he is, and what he's really, truly like, under all that coldness. You know it's just a facade, and underneath everything, he's just someone who wants to be loved. All he desires is a little bit of intimacy, a little taste of something normal, just to feel something. Perhaps, you're the only one who understands, or perhaps, his warmth is something you draw out of him. 

You bet you're definitely the only one who gets to see what his face looks like when he's all hot and bothered, though. 

Aki's tempo is quickening more, the couch starting to creak under the pressure. He's breathing harder, and he chokes out as he fucks into you, through gasps of air, "I know you can be louder than that sweetheart… Don't hold back… Let me hear you." 

If what he wants is to hear you, that's what he's going to get, and he's going to get all of it. 

"Aki! Fuck!" You cry out, and you swear you hear him start to hold back his own whines so he can focus on yours. "It feels so good-"

"Yeah?" He teases, a little smirk present on his face. He still hasn't broken eye contact with you, fawning over you with blown pupils and a half-lidded gaze like he's so unbelievably head over heels. His voice is light, bordering on a whine when he speaks again, "Does my dick feel good?" 

"Yes! It's s-so… fucking good." You're slurring, stumbling over your words, just focused on him, all of him. 

"I bet it does baby, you're- fuck- taking it so well, you're so perfect." 

Aki's grip remains tight on your hand as he drinks in every noise that comes out of your mouth. The sun is well past the point of dipping below the horizon, rays of light starting to fade away. The room is growing dark, growing dim, illuminated by only the faintest pink glow, but through it all, you can still see the outline of his face, his body. His defined nose, sharp jawline, dark hair, and broad shoulders. Earrings that shine when they catch the dying light at the perfect angle. If Aki had more patience, he'd get up and turn on a light, but he doesn't, so this will have to do. 

The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes around the room. The way Aki makes love to you is tender, relaxed, languid, like he has all the time in the world and he's going to savor it. He hardly cares about chasing his own release, just about enjoying it and making you feel good, but multiple times, he finds himself having to deliberately slow down to keep from finishing too quickly. 

He can feel his body tensing up, but each time he gets too close to the edge, he shoves himself all the way in and stays there, lets himself calm down. His cock is throbbing, and holy shit, he wants to cum so bad. So bad that if he moves even the slightest inch right now, he's not going to be able to hold back, but he has to. He has to when you get impatient, rut your hips against his, and plead, Aki, move. Please. 

He wants this moment to last, so he's going to hold on for as long as he possibly can, staving off his orgasm until he just can't take it anymore. He gives himself a couple more moments to come down from the euphoria before he's fucking you again, giving you everything you want. 

And he's so damn vocal, so much more than you expected he would be. He doesn't attempt to hide how good he's feeling at all, moaning at every thrust, at every clamp of your pussy around him. He teases you, praises you, like he can't hold back from saying any and every thought that happens to enter his brain. 

You want me to fuck you deeper? Harder? 

Tell me. Whatever you want, I'll give it to you. 

Are you comfortable, baby? Does it hurt? 

Ah, fuck, I'm so close already, I don't wanna cum until you do, baby. 

Aki holds himself off, for longer, for further than he even thought possible. Even when he wants to cum so bad he's fucking delirious, he holds it, focusing on giving it to you just how you want, just how you beg him to. You're begging for him to go faster, Fuck me harder, I can take it. Fuck me like you really mean it. And you and him both know, whatever you ask him to do, he's going to do it. His side is starting to hurt, a little dull throb, but he ignores the pain when it's overwhelmed by waves of pleasure. 

The sounds coming from the both of you are so obscene, so loud they can probably be heard a few apartments over. Aki is still holding your hand, never let go, and his grip is clammy and sweaty, but he still holds onto it tight. He can feel you beginning to tense around him, and when he does, he doesn't relent. He keeps up the same deliberate pace, just how you like it, hitting the perfect spot inside you every single time. The way your pussy squeezes around him is making his head spin, and when he once again finds himself right on the precipice, he knows it's over, he can't hold back anymore. 

He can't stop, there's no way in hell he can. Not with your moans and screams and chants of his name in his ear. Not when your cunt is throbbing around his dick, so hungry for his cum, so demanding of all of him. He rolls his hips and fucks you deeply, hand reaching down and fumbling to find your clit, and when he does, he rubs clumsy, rough circles that quickly build up a tight coil of pleasure right in your core. His head dips and he presses even closer to your body. Your hand snakes into his hair, fingers threading through close to his scalp where you grab and yank back hard, drawing a needy whine from his lips. 

"F-Fuck, I'm gonna cum, please," Aki begs, voice high-pitched and desperate, helpless, "Please let me cum inside you, please, I need it so bad, I can't- I-" 

He can hardly speak, and each thrust of his hips is sloppy and inconsistent. Between his dick fucking butterflies into your stomach and his fingers messily working your sensitive clit, the stimulation is growing too much to handle, and you can't deny him. You can't when he begs so sweetly like that, when he sounds like he needs it so goddamn bad. Before you know it, you're gripping his hair tighter and commanding, Cum for me, Aki, fill me up with all of it. 

"Yeah? You want all of it? Then- Fuck!" He cuts himself off, ramming into you one more time before his hips are shaking, his whole body's shaking, actually, and he's stammering, "I'm cumming I'm cumming I'm cumming, oh my God, I love you, I love you…" 

Aki's holding onto your hand so hard his grip might break it, and his voice in your ear is enough to throw you over the edge. You cry out, cunt pulsing hard around him. The steady throb around his dick feels like it's milking him, pleading for every last drop he's willing to give, everything he has left. And he's going to give it to you, pump you full of it and not even let a single drop go to waste. It's what you want, after all. 

Everything, it's so overwhelming, it's too much, it's nothing like Aki has ever experienced in his life. He's shaking so hard and he can't stop it, and his vision has gone so blurry he can't see a thing, all he can see is black. He's gasping, whining, and he can hardly breathe, just feebly choking on air as he fills you with so much of him. When he's finally done, the feeling that overtakes him is utterly euphoric. 

It's like he's floating. His body goes limp, and his heart is pounding, but he's calm. Incredibly calm, like finally letting go, vulnerable, allowing the waters to take you wherever they so choose. He's tired, so tired, but not a heavy, exhausted kind of tired. The sleepy kind of tired that holds you tight and weighs you down, that promises to take care of you and if anything, never let you go. It envelops him until he's slipping away, and it's kind of like, kind of like… 

It's kind of like dying, isn't it? 

To die by your hands is a pretty good way to die. 

Aki's body pins you to the couch as you both come down from your high. The both of you are covered in sweat and smell undeniably like sex. He's so close, so warm, to the point where you start to feel hot, but his weight pressed on top of you feels nice. It's comforting, feels safe and puts your mind at ease. 

For a while, the two of you lay there, relaxing and letting yourselves sober up. His heartbeat is slow; you can feel it through his chest pressed up against yours, and eventually, the rhythm of your heart begins to match his. He's still inside, still holding your hand, but through a much looser grip. His head is nestled in the space next to yours and you can feel his steady breaths fan out on your neck, tickling the shell of your ear. 

He's quiet, really quiet. His breathing is so deep… Is he falling asleep? 

"Aki?" 

No response. None. 

"Aki. Hey." You squeeze his hand and shift a little bit under him, wiggling like you're attempting to push him off of you, although there's clearly no real effort put behind it. 

Nope, nothing. He doesn't move an inch. He's got to be out cold. 

"Come on," You drag your hand away from his to shake him a little by his shoulders, and it seems like your grip disappearing was enough to wake him up a little. He shifts, just the tiniest amount, and you continue, "Aki, I know you can hear me." 

He doesn't move, again. Just grumbles in your ear. 

You sigh in defeat. Fine, he can lay on you for a little bit longer. His injury might be hurting him. He did work himself really hard, after all. If he's exhausted, he can rest, he deserves to get some. You run your fingers through his hair, stroking the back of his head, listening to the constant inhale and exhale of his breath. 

The moment is oddly peaceful, considering what just transpired. The room is covered in a thick darkness now. It's deathly still and incredibly silent, save for the distant whistle of a train passing by somewhere in the city, but it feels like you and him are the only ones to exist in this world. 

Aki is just barely awake, teetering on the edge of falling asleep for real. His weight on top of you and the rhythm of his breathing might be enough to lull you to sleep as well, that is, until he starts mumbling in your ear. 

"Love you. So much." His voice is groggy and tired, to the point where it's difficult to tell what he's even saying. You can make it out close enough, thankfully. 

"I love you too." 

"Thank you." 

You laugh half-heartedly, "What are you thanking me for?" 

"Everything." He replies simply, and finally, he decides he's ready to get up, pushing himself off of you with a large exhale of breath, his muscles feeling weary and spent. 

He meets your gaze and asks, "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm okay." You nod. 

Aki's eyes briefly rake up and down your body before he slowly pulls out, flopping back hard against the couch with an annoyed groan. 

"My side fucking hurts." 

"I wonder why," You push yourself up on your elbows, staring at him with a knowing look, "I told you not to push yourself too far." 

"You were the one babbling about, 'Go faster' this and, 'Go harder' that. I think it's your fault." 

"No way… Aki." 

"Yeah?" 

"You got any smokes?" 

Aki laughed. A real, genuine laugh. Now there's something he never does. 

"Let's get dressed. Then, I'll give you one." 

Aki turns on a light resting on top of a table beside the couch. He outright refuses to allow you to put on your dirty clothes, stopping you when you went to reach for them on the floor. From his room, he brings you some of his clothes, and some for himself as well. He takes care of you first, kissing your forehead as he pulls a shirt over you, gently lifting you by your hips to pull on a pair of his boxers and pajama pants. His clothes fit baggy on you and they're covered in the smell of him. 

He dresses himself next, hastily, before rummaging around his apartment to find where he left his box of cigarettes. Actually, they're your box of cigarettes that you leant him at the hospital. He hasn't had the opportunity to go out and buy some more because he's been resting at home, so he's been trying extra hard to make this box last. 

How many were left again? There's probably a couple. He opens the box to check and… 

One. Just one. Did he really smoke that many? They go by so fast. 

"There's just one in here," He muses, walking over to where you're laid back on the couch and showing you the near-empty box. 

"I guess we're sharing again." You reply with a smile. 

"Guess so." 

It's not long before you accompany Aki to the balcony. The night air is cold, and there's the slightest hint of a chilly breeze passing through. Aki holds the cigarette between his teeth and shields the lighter from the wind with his palm, striking it once, twice, three times before it comes to life in a flurry of sparks. You stand close, holding his arm, leaning on him. 

Aki can't help but feel… strangely euphoric. Now that he's coming to his senses, thinking more clearly about everything, he knows he probably, definitely shouldn't have done this. He's letting himself grow closer to you. What's going to happen when you die? When he dies? When one of you is killed in the line of work, it's not going to be fair to the other. It's not fair to fall in love with someone when you always tow the line between living and dying. 

It's not fair. It's not fair, the world isn't fair. In another life, maybe Aki would have a better chance with you. Maybe you two could be a regular couple, be normal for a change. But he can't change the past, can he? All that waits for him is the future.

He's made his choice. He made his choice to be selfish, and now he's got to live with it, but fuck if he isn't going to enjoy it for as long as he possibly can. A man like him doesn't kick the bucket so easily. He's through with complicating things, done hiding anything. He's going to live for as long as possible, and it's going to be with you, whether the damn universe likes it or not. 

And if you die, it's going to kill him. It's going to be the death of him, and he knows it. 

But the world is better with a little self-indulgence, even if it kills you, right? 

"Will you stay the night tonight?" Aki asks, ending the silence, taking a long drag out of the cigarette before exhaling and watching the smoke rise into the starry night sky. The nicotine immediately soothes his lungs and aching body, and with you pressed close to him, all he can feel is total relaxation through his veins. 

"Yeah, I can." 

"Good. Because I don't want you to leave." 

"I won't leave any time soon, then." 

A little smirk forms on Aki's lips, and as he goes to take another hit of the cigarette, you push against him, pouting. "You were supposed to share." 

"I will. Hang on a sec." 

Aki takes another long hit, breathing in the smoke, holding it in his lungs. He turns to you then, and he grabs your chin firm, tilting it up to where he leans over you. In an instant, his lips press against yours in an open-mouthed kiss and your eyes flutter shut in response. 

Aki blows the cigarette smoke into your mouth slow and steady, and when he pulls away, it's only slightly, only enough to let stray wisps rise in the space between the two of your mouths. He already breathed in all the nicotine, so there's none left for you, but the smoke still pricks at your throat, still gives you that familiar feeling. Maybe you should complain and ask him to give you a proper hit, but his kiss is just as addicting as any cigarette, so honestly, you don't really care. 

"How was that?" Aki asks quietly, pulling away to give you a chance to exhale. 

"Another?" 

Aki smiles, "Of course." 

He's so easy to convince when it comes to you. 

— 

Aki falls asleep by your side. 

He drifts off with his large frame pressed against your back, his dark hair fanned out over the pillow. His whole bed smells like him, and his blanket and sheets are soft. As his arm is splayed over your body, his hand is connected to yours, holding gently where it lays delicately in front of your face. You can feel his heartbeat against your back, his gentle embrace clutching you closer to his body, the warmth radiating off of him, his breath hot against your neck. 

For the first time in a long, long time, Aki doesn't dream of that stupid house, or of people dying right before his eyes. He dreams of something much more serene. His own slice of heaven, in this wretched hell. 

He dreams of a future with you. 

And even though he knows in the back of his mind that it's going to end tragically, he doesn't care. Even though he's aware he's going to die, and just how soon he's going to die, too, he ignores it. Forgets about it. 

It's selfish. So, so selfish of him. But he's stopped looking at himself objectively. He'll only look to the future, with no turning back, and it doesn't matter how unattainable that future might be. 

He's going to love you until the end. 

And besides, there's no one else who's arms he'd rather die in than yours. 

[wandasaura]

i decided to be nice and not individually send every thought i’ve had in the last hour, you’re welcome babygirl.

reader:

- getting a drunken tattoo during the mommy and daddy don’t know they went out request

- wrecking (minorly) with daddy on the bike

- getting high asf and causing mischief w/ yelena while mommy and daddy are out and them coming home to absolute chaos

- run away reader run away ready run away reader

- car breaks down on the what was it? 40 minute drive? to westview from campus in the middle of the hottest summer ever, thanks global warming

- breaking something in the house or something along those lines and losing her shit because her real mother would kill her for something like that

- slipping while running around the pool after mommy has literally punished her for doing that previously. hurts herself, could break something, cries like a baby while wanda just sighs with her hands on her hips with that “i told you so look” until she can’t stand not holding babygirl

- someone gets sick (hurt/comfort) or baby gets sick and get literally everyone sick, rip squad

- mommy and daddy finally realize how few actual meals reader eats and institutes the sticker chart to earn stickers and eventually a super special treat

- mommy and daddy make reader get life360 or an airtag attached to her after running away so much

- 👹

i was waiting to answer this until i finished what i needed to do. but okay let me ponder all of this:

— r would get a henna with monica and be absolutely distraught when she wakes up the next morning and there’s a mini palm tree on her hip bone. it would take natasha literally holding her down on the bed to get her to see it’s literally only temporary

— never going to happen, absolutely not. if natasha has even the slightest bad feeling she’s calling wanda to come pick you up. she’s a reckless driver, but after her accident she’s reluctant to even get on the bike but she knows that you adore it so she does it for you. she’s not willing to risk your safety even if she knows that logically nothing would’ve happened had she kept you on with her

— after the first time you get high yelena offers to show you an actual good time, more so you stop associating weed to ill practically greening out lol. she makes you wait half an hour between hits, slaps your thigh when you take a hit too hard/deep. she’s a total mother hen which is funny considering she’s the most chaotic person you know. when you’re high enough, you and her try and make wandas cookie recipe bc you’re properly suffering from the munchies and guess who walks in right as you drop flour all over the floor… wanda and natasha who had been out at a business dinner that you’d willingly elected not to attend. you practically fling yourself at natasha and giggle about how wanda’s face is as red as her hair.

— she accidentally knocks a certificate off the wall when she tries to open up the window in natasha’s office. it’s only a small crack in the frame, but her mind sends her back to a place where any minor infraction was punishable. she’s an inconsolable wreck when natasha gets home but it’s reassured that it’s only a frame and it can be fixed.

— no because r would eat absolute shit and wanda doesn’t know whether to rush over and assess the damage or reprimand her for once again running next to the pool, but when he notices the blood that’s slowly tainting the pavement she’s at your side in minutes trying to calm you down

— the little bug gets a bug and she’s down bad. it’s only a day before natasha gets sick too, and wandas the last man standing. she never thought having two girlfriends would become having two whiny and clingy toddlers but alas she’s found herself in a position that’s not at all dissimilar. you’re clinging to her whenever she’s around and natasha’s whining for kisses despite turning her head away everytime wanda tries to give her one. “don’t kiss me, you’ll get sick too” and wanda just rolls her eyes because natasha’s fever is so high there’s no doubt she’ll forget by time she’s better. you and natasha get better and a week later wanda is sick… which nobody wants

— they compromise and let her have coconut shrimp and literally nothing else for dinner because apparently that’s “the only thing that i’m going to eat, my brain has been demanding it all day”

— no because i think it would come into play when natasha has to leave for another business trip! she’s suggests the life360 so you know where she is and that she’s safe if she can’t text back right away… and it does come in handy when you inevitably take off again

it is fucking brutal trying to type in the rain

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 2, Poll 5

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Riku-Kingdom Hearts

Qualifications/Propaganda:

So Riku is neither canonically LGBTQ+ nor canonically disabled but there's quite a slew of subtextual evidence. And this subtext is considered basically canon due to the creator's (Tetsuya Nomura) stance on media, which is that he enjoys leaving clues for players to figure out. So while Riku is never explicitly said to be queer or disabled, there's clear evidence on both accounts.

So first: Riku is gay. There's no doubt about it (despite what the dudebros insist...) Riku is gay for Sora, his childhood best friend/former rival. Long story short, Riku was afraid of Sora's friendship with this girl Kairi, didn't realize those feelings were gay jealousy, and he got gaslighted by the Mistress of All Evil, MALEFICENT HERSELF, into believing that Sora didn't care for him anymore. He went Dark Mode, destroyed their home, and antagonized Sora for most of the first game. But then he gets trapped in the Realm of Darkness after Sora kicked his ass for the millionth time and he realized how *sora voice* stUpid he was being and helps Sora stop the apocalypse (saved the world counter: 1) Then Riku goes through a whole arc of "wow i was an idiot. sora will never forgive me and i have Darkness in my heart and i need to protect sora while he's in a year-long medically-induced coma to undo his amnesia" and. idk. theres a Lot of stuff. So much so that someone made a 6-HOUR video essay about it! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll17V9DJr7g)

Riku is also likely suffering from chronic pain. Throughout the year that Sora is in a coma, he fights Sora's Nobody, Roxas, to get Sora's memories back. During the fight, Roxas breaks Riku's wrist, and it never heals correctly. Throughout the finale of Kingdom Hearts 2, the next game chronologically, Riku wears a wrist brace that goes largely unexplained. During the final boss fight, Riku throws himself in the way of Xemnas (the Big Bad) to protect Sora, getting hurt twice in the process; being struck so hard in the shoulder that he's flung halfway across the battlefield, and then hit in the side so badly that it causes him to collapse as soon as the adrenaline from the fight fades. It's likely that none of these injuries healed properly, as even in Kingdom Hearts 3 (which is like 5 games later. dont ask) he has some interesting tells; his walk is incredibly stiff and his battle stance changes, likely because of the strain put on his wrist for the old stance. (https://www.tumblr.com/nobodyriku/706960754548604929 shows this pretty well, though i can't find the other post i had in mind but whatever)

Anything Else?:

soriku endgame actually <3

Darth Maul-Star Wars

Qualifications:

Maul is canonically disabled; he was bisected at the waist by one Obi-Wan Kenobi, but SOMEHOW did not die, and was in fact teleported into a garbage dump, where he proceeded to live as a spider cyborg for the next 12 years, when he was found and rescued by his long-lost brother. He has used prosthetic legs of one kind or another ever since, and in Rebels, he uses a cane. He is also definitely gay. In The Clone Wars cartoon, he is OBSESSED with Obi-Wan, to the point that Obi-Wan is his entire personality and the entirety of his life goals. All he wants is to kill him and cause him suffering in revenge for being cut in half and subsequently abandoned by his master. However, this obsession is. Definitely homoerotic. Dude fights Obi-Wan naked at one point (the animators forgot that people with prosthetic legs still have to wear pants). He literally builds a hate shrine to Obi-Wan's dead ex-girlfriend, who he killed, AFTER he kills her. In Rebels, once he is able to merge the two holocrons and ask any question he wants, he asks where Obi-Wan is. The answer is Tatooine, of course. He goes there, has one final fight with Obi-Wan, and is fatally wounded. HOWEVER. He dies in Obi-Wan's arms. He dies being HELD GENTLY by Obi-Wan. I cannot adequately explain how insane that is. Makes me froth at the mouth. Anyway.

Propaganda:

I love this severely fucked-up dude so much. He dedicated almost 20 years of his life to a single-minded obsession with Obi-Wan Kenobi, an obsession which literally kept him alive when he was chopped in half in a garbage pit, stuck in a hole on Planet Sith, and just generally attempting to live after being raised for nothing but violence as a child. He is missing half his bones, many vital organs, and got his two biggest blood vessels sliced right open, and yet REFUSED to die. He then became a spider cyborg. The first thing he did when coming onboard the Ghost was critique the interior design. He took over an entire planet just to get a guy to notice him. He was kidnapped as a child and tortured nonstop for the first 20 years of his life, resulting in an attachment style where he can only conceptualize relationships as a hierarchy (master/apprentice), so he searches constantly for an apprentice, and even treats his brother as one; despite how he very clearly just wanted a brother, he didn't know how to be in an equal relationship. He does absolutely nothing but cause problems for people-- be they Jedi or Sith. Ahsoka once released him from a magic strait-jacket as a "distraction" and he immediately began tearing panels off of the walls and decapitating people with them. He has a death grip on my brain.

Submitted by @convenient-plot-device

[mossmurdock]

omg hi bestie :3 if ur doing requests i was wondering if we could get more stuff abt stablehand!reader x prince!gojo 🩷 only if you want to ofc! btw i love ur writing so much!

hello hello! and yes ofc!! it was very fun tapping back into this little au again :oo and thank you bestie that means so much ! i hope you enjoy

prince!gojo/stablehand!reader

Satoru’s bed is comfortable and large; capacious even, some people might simply say too big. He thinks you would say so, with a look on your face that says he grew up with too much. 

Though, he might never find out. Satoru still hasn't found a way to sneak you up into his room. 

This late afternoon is quiet, slow in chatter and bickering. Satoru came to unwind from his new frivolous duties to find you already wrapped into your chores.

“There’s hay on your back,” he says, breaking the silence. He’s been staring at it for at least five minutes now. Your shirt is thin, practically transparent, so much so that the sun is shining through the fabric, blessing Satoru with glimpses of your imperfect skin. You might be trying to kill him. “When’s the last time you bathed?” he questions cruelly. All he gets in return is a soft chuckle. 

“There’s always hay on my back, Satoru.” You don’t turn as you speak, still working on whatever it was you were doing before he walked in. The lack of obvious attention from you isn’t meant to be conveyed as dismissal. Your interest is hooked into his veiled words, trying hard to coax what he really wants to ask you out of him. When you speak that way, the hands you work with so frequently feel like they’re inside of him somehow, continuously pulling and weaving. He likes it; loves making it more difficult for you. 

“Do you sleep here?” he reiterates. 

You shift your shoulders before finally turning, wiping the sweat off your palms by dragging them across your pants. “Sometimes. When I’m too exhausted to walk back home,” you explain. 

He looks at you pointedly, “The palace is closer,” he suggests. 

That earns him more than a chuckle. “The palace is guarded. Last I heard they’re meant to be protecting someone very important there.” 

“Wouldn’t sharing the same bed be nice, though?” Satoru asks. You don’t blush at his words yet, letting them hang in the air. There’s an expression on your face that says you’re actually considering his thoughts. But you lack the time to humor him so obviously; the sun is setting and your shoulders are beginning to sag heavily. You’re missing the glow of your healthier exhaustion, instead shrouded in a paled and lethargic dullness. 

You distract, moving towards him and hesitantly nudging at the leg of the bar stool he’s sitting on. There is a strange displacement behind the action; it’s like you replaced the thought of another movement with a half baked one. Your mouth moves around the air before finally pushing something out. “I’m nearly done here."

He frowns at your words, a disgustingly dramatic expression. “You’re kicking me out.”

“I’m asking you to go rest.” You cast a fond grimace at the look on his face, placing your hands on your hips before deciding to lay them to rest on the empty sides of the stool. The space between the two of you shrinks in the span of a cruel second. Satoru’s knees are subtly pushed together as they slot between your legs; he can smell the scent of the old wood that’s permanently cemented itself into your skin, the smell of the animals you take care of, the feed you pour out for them, hay and dust are subtle but noticeable notes. 

The aroma used to be too overwhelming for him, completely ruined and punched out by the odor of manure that he used to performatively complain about, but now everything has turned warm and pleasant. It’s a complex thing, like earth during spring, like something deemed ugly taking its first beautiful breath. No one else could carry that as elegantly. 

He can never bring it back with him properly; the scent fades and erodes itself into something only slightly recognizable. It isn’t strong enough to seep into the fabric of sheets, never strong enough to wrap around him tightly as he tosses and turns. It's like a rejection of transference.

“Hypocrite,” he accuses, finally finding the sense to move his hands, ghosting them across the shadows underneath your eyes. You hold your breath when he does, suddenly tense and serious. It’s a funny thing, the way you react to him touching you won’t ever not make him preen. Your roles are reversed. He’s the only one meant to think that he’s untouchable. 

You send him away after that, hay still stuck to your back, hands curved back into your hips. He watches you head back inside without any plan, eyes empty and tired, never cast toward what could be your home. 

Satoru doesn’t sleep that night and he hopes you don’t either. Maybe the both of you will learn more quickly that way.

[mytragedyperson]

ok, kinda wish we got to see the conversation between Choi Han, Deruth and Hans at the beginning of the novel, when he tells them about Harris Village. Because what did he say for Hans to see him defeat the Count's knights and just not question it? How much of the tragic backstory did he tell them, all of it or just the Harris village bit? Because if he didn't tell them everything, to them, it looks like Cale just came home one day with a random homeless stranger, who told them about the assassination at Harris Village, and possibly that he'd killed the assassins but, again, not clear if he actually told them that part or just the assassination of the villagers. And then the homeless stranger from Harris Village fought and defeated Count Deruth Henituse's knights. and they had no further questions? What did Choi Han tell them? Because while it makes more sense that Choi Han told them the whole story about the assassination and that's why neither Hans nor Deruth questioned it, I'd find it a lot more funny if this wasn't the case, that Hans just saw this, was impressed so forgot to question it and then just went on with his day. Maybe he even forgot to mention it to Deruth and he found out some other way, or maybe Deruth didn't know about this. Hans forgot to mention it in his report and none of the knights were about to admit that they'd been bested by some random stranger who their young master randomly found. God, imagine being one of those knights. seriously, no one, not one person, questioned it? Not one of them was so paranoid they worried that Choi Han was lying about who he was or where he was from. I can't imagine every single knight knew about what happened at Harris Village, though I could be wrong. They might've been told in case the assassins were sent to their territory again. But this was still early on. everyone just took this at face value and accepted it? Honestly, one of the things that makes this story work is how utterly unphased everyone around the main character is. Yes, Choi Han and Rosalyn and Lock and the Calefam are completely unphased. But even the unnamed knights, Hilsman and Hans just never question anything. Honestly, I love Deputy Butler Hans. He comes the closest to questioning Cale but you can almost tell he wants to ask but then realizes actually, on second thought I don't wanna know, and just goes about his day, oblivious to the craziness that surrounds him. Either that or he's about to ask or say something but gets interrupted before he can and then it just feels too awkward to ask later. This book wouldn't work half as well if the characters didn't all share a brain cell.

every time I remember Choi Han is physically seventeen and Cale is physically 18, it makes me sad that they're dealing with this shit. I know Cale is 20 now but that's insane. i know mentally or whatever they're older but can you imagine? 18-year-old Cale acts as a father to On, who is only 8 years younger than Cale Henituse. Like Kim Rok Soo is older, I get that but damn. To everyone else, this 18-year-old who's acted like trash for years is suddenly helping people, making friends, and adopting children. every time he returns home there's someone new with him. He's best friends and brothers with the crown prince. God they drive me crazy. i love them

Also, the way Hans asks Cale if it will be okay for Choi Han not to go back to Harris Village in the beginning of the novel is everything. He just automatically trusts Cales judgement and sees him as the person to ask. Now he may have asked the Count as well but we have no proof of that and, if there's no proof it didn't happen so I'm choosing to believe he waited to ask Cale since it was his guest, which is even better when you consider that the day before he was scared Cale was going to throw a bottle at him. Like the fact that he trusted Cale enough to trust his judgement on this matter after he'd been different for two days. God I love Hans and Cale. And I've never seen anyone talk about them and their relationship but like Hans is one of the first people to feel completely at ease around KRS!Cale. It doesn't take him that long to drop the formality. Man I love deputy butler hans. His relationship with Cale feels so underrated.

Also for future reference when I talk about relationships in this sense I mean the Canon relationship. If I make headcanons, which is a real possibility, that may change to include a romantic aspect, but for now, in this case its purely platonic.

And Hans mentioning Ron hurting himself while working again, and that letting us, the audience know that Cale is wrong when he says Choi Han, Ron and Beacrox seem to be getting along. Because we already know about their first spar, but none of the other characters do. Uts another example of unreliable narrator Cale and we love to see it. OK so I really like this story. There's a huge chance that any posts I make are just gonna be this, like talking about unreliable narrator Cale, nobody ever questioning anything that happens and just general reactions as I reread and most of it is just gonna be random thoughts I have while reading. I already feel like I'm going to be so annoying about this but I have zero regrets and refuse to apologise so consider this a fair warning for if you seem to stumble across my posts a lot

Also Cales immediate response without thinking about it being "give him medicine". Further proof that KRS!cale is way nicer than he gives himself credit for. Also I'm sorry but him saying this while thinking "he probably killed somebody again" absolutely sends me. And the fact Ron hasn't actually killed anyone yet. Also its giving "I don't care if he's a murderer, he's one of my people" which is just so Cale

The interview scene is a great example of why Cale can never seen to get rid of the strays he collects. So, as usual, he thinks he's being selfish and using Choi Han, whatever. And obviously there's the whole, if you can kill people, then you should be able to protect people thing, which is already a pretty good message for Choi Han to hear at this point, that he's good for something more than hurting other people or things. But more than that, by phrasing it as an interview, when Choi Han passes that means he's qualified, that Cale believes he can protect/save people. Cale is probably one of the first people to believe in him, to believe he's capable of more than hurting others, and for someone like Choi Han who's just lost everyone he cared about and killed people for the first time, and is probably suffering some serious surivivors' guilt, it's probably what he needs to hear, that someone still believes in him, even if it is a complete stranger. And it's not actually like Cale is being selfish because, if everything went how he planned at this point, it wouldn't even be like he'd gain Rosalyn and Lock's skills to use because he planned to just send them on their way. Also, the way he asks Choi Han's name and introduces himself - it shows a certain level of respect that most wouldn't expect from a noble. He's not looking down on Choi Han, He's treating him as an equal and, by saying he's heard his name from others but wants to hear from Choi Han himself, it shows that he wants him to have his voice and speak and that he'll listen. this may seem like a reach because it's such a small thing but how many nobles would care enough to ask a commoner, one who looked homeless, their name. Most wouldn't even bother to ask to confirm the name they'd heard was correct but Cale does. Imagine how that must feel to Choi Han, knowing his status, that Cale bothered to ask and treat him like an equal.

also can you imagine if Choi Han had slipped up and admitted Cale sent him when he first met Rosalyn and Lock. It wouldn't be completely insane for him to assume they knew each other. that would've looked so bad. oh yeah, this guy who you've never met somehow knew, not only who you were, but where you'd be in order to send me to find you. God the amount of times Cale just gets lucky is insane. He's also insanely unlucky. i Can't decide if the God of Luck loves or hates him.

also don't know if this was the intention but I've always in my head read the "I'm glad you know how to read" bit as sarcastic and throwing shade, especially because he knew before this he could read and because he doesn't offer any further information about who these people are and why Choi Han has to go get them or whatever. i get that it was probably written down on the paper, or maybe he just didn't mention it. It probably wasn't intended but that's how i always read it.