#dark night of the soul

[apilgrimsprogress]

Morning Prayer For Fellow-Prisoners

O God, early in the morning I cry to you. Help me to pray And to concentrate my thoughts on you; I can’t do this alone.

In me there’s darkness, But with you there’s light; I’m lonely, but you don’t leave me;

I’m feeble in heart, but with you there’s help; I’m restless, but with you there’s peace. In me there’s bitterness, but with you there’s patience; I don’t understand your ways, But you know the way for me.

~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

[wildwithlight]

"To work in the dark, you must be able to hold your own light, and still be intimate with the darkness."

- Thomas Lloyd Qualls

[holyfigtree]

...for Simone Weil, the dark night of God's absence, is itself the soul's contact with God. When she speaks of an 'ineffable consolation' that fills the soul after it has renounced everything, renounced even the desire for grace, she does not mean that supernatural love is something distinct from the acceptance of the void. To endure the void, to suffer evil, is our contact with God."

— Susan Taubes, The Absent God

[theshadowworker]

Take care when battling your demons that you don't banish the best thing about you

- Friedrich Nietzsche

[thatghostelizabeth]

Read a post that said something like:

Don’t turn off my light

And then complain about the darkness

[mise-n-abyme]

"—I prayed for strength, and life gave me hard times at my weakest.

—I prayed for happiness, and life gave me sorrowful times.

—I asked for forgiveness, and I received ridicule and blame from others for all my mistakes.

—I prayed to change the world, and ended up becoming the product of the world."

"Life did not punish me, or play a cruel sick joke. Life answered my callings with its own; no strength can come without first being weak, no happiness can be felt without first knowing true sorrow; no forgiveness can arise without first forgiving yourself, and no change can occur to the world without first creating the change in yourself. To seek life, to know life; we must accept death. Experience death in ourselves and in the expectations we perceive life to be. To be born again, one must be annihilated—to experience death in what one perceived themselves to be and realize the masqueraded existence of ones illusion.

To undergo change, we must peer beneath the curtained mirror, as it is ultimately us that can only change ourselves. It is what you do in your circumstances which define who you truly are. What you choose to see at your darkest hour and what you choose to be, life does not punish you but prepares you for what's yet to come."

~Mise-n-abyme

|Artwork: 'Awen' — Silk Alchemy, Unknown

[saintmachina]

easter is coming and an as an ex catholic i was wondering if you have any insight on wanting to reconnect with the christian religion but feeling like god has abandoned/forsaken/forgotten you? is it possible to conceive of a christianity that doesn’t center god? could you even be a christian in any capacity or within any denomination if you feel a disconnect or even just plain upset with god?

Hi anon! This is such an interesting ask to me, because people often come to me expressing a kinship with God but an alienation from the church or religion writ large. However, it sounds like you're seeking reconnection with religion while expressing ambivalence or a feeling of upset towards God.

I would start with a little soul-searching. What elements of the Christian religion are you drawn to? What currently speaks to you about the tradition? Following those affinities should be a good guiding light for you as you explore. There's no rush to this, no formula to follow. So give yourself grace.

That said, non-theistic Christianity does exist! This religious alignment typically celebrates the teachings of Jesus and/or the work of the church as a site of community and charity and social justice, but eschews traditional doctrines such as the divinity of Christ, the virgin birth, the resurrection, and so on. You might want to look into the work of John Shelby Sprong; he was an Episcopal bishop who encouraged the church to move away from theism towards a humanistic model. I might start with Jesus For The Non-Religious or Why Christianity Must Change Or Die. You might also poke your head into to a Unitarian Universalist Church, which unites people from many different faiths as well as agnostics and atheists in the pursuit of community care, connection, and justice. It could scratch the religious itch while giving you space to believe (or not believe) whatever you need to.

However, you told me you're an ex-Catholic, so religion for you may feel much more liturgical, sacramental, or mystical than what you'll find in a Unitarian Church. If you're thinking of reconnecting with Catholicism in some way, I want to remind you that you have every right to be there, no matter what your faith looks like at present. Also, there is a very long and deep tradition of doubt, anger, or ambivalence towards God in the Catholic Church. Some church leaders may only make space for those emotions as a stepping stone on the path back towards explicit faith (and be extension, orthodoxy), but I think it has value and legitimacy in and of itself.

You could look into the art and theology thinkers have created about "the dark night of the soul", a period (sometimes quite long) of spiritual helplessness, or discouragement, or, more importantly, the perceived absence of the presence of God. You could read My Bright Abyss, a series of essays by a poet wrestling with his relationship to God after being diagnosed with a rare and incurable cancer. You could try creating your own art about the emotions you're feeling about the Divine, or find an interfaith spiritual director (like a counselor for the soul) who can help your emotions work your way through your body. My spiritual director is Rachel Parsons, and I recommend her highly to anyone.

And, if it matters at all, (feel free to skip this section if you don't want to hear me pontificate about my own unverified personal Gnosis about God), I don't think God forsakes any of us, under any conditions. Even in the most abject and wretched of circumstances, God is there, suffering with us. Even when we look up at the most cruel, silent, empty sky, God is present in the stardust and the insect song and the sweat on the back of our necks. And, most importantly, God will always be there if you decide you want to walk that strange and winding path back towards some semblance of belief, often appearing to us in the way we least expect. And even if you literally never find your way back to any belief-shaped thing, that's fine. God is big and wild and incomprehensible and intensely personal. God can handle all your frustration and grief and rage. That's kind of God's whole thing. But that's just my opinion.

Be so well, anon. I hope you find what you're seeking, and I hope the Easter season is kind to you!

[umbrae-sortilegium]

"In the darkest hours of the soul's night, we find ourselves face to face with our deepest fears and unresolved shadows. But it is in this profound obscurity that the soul's transformation begins, for only by navigating the abyss can we emerge into the radiant dawn of self-discovery. As the moonlight guides us through this sacred journey, it is the spark of inner illumination that ultimately leads us from the depths of despair to the luminous path of self-realization."

© Dʏsʜᴀɴᴋᴀ/Oᴅᴇᴛᴛᴇ ₂₀₂₃

[loneberry]

St. John of the Cross on the recklessness of love

But when once the flame has enkindled the soul, it is wont to conceive, together with the estimation that it already has for God, such power and energy, and such yearning for Him, when He communicates to it the heat of love, that, with great boldness, it disregards every-thing and ceases to pay respect to anything, such are the power and the inebriation of love and desire. It regards not what it does, for it would do strange and unusual things in whatever way and manner may present themselves, if thereby its soul might find Him Whom it loves.

6. It was for this reason that Mary Magdalene, though as greatly concerned for her own appearance as she was aforetime, took no heed of the multitude of men who were at the feast, whether they were of little or of great importance; neither did she consider that it was not seemly, and that it looked ill, to go and weep and shed tears among the guests, provided that, without delaying an hour or waiting for another time and season, she could reach Him for love of Whom her soul was already wounded and enkindled. And such is the inebriating power and the boldness of love, that, though she knew her Beloved to be enclosed in the sepulchre by the great sealed stone, and surrounded by soldiers who were guarding Him lest His disciples should steal Him away, she allowed none of these things to impede her, but went before daybreak with the ointments to anoint Him.

7. And finally, this inebriating power and yearning of love caused her to ask one whom she believed to be a gardener and to have stolen Him away from the sepulchre, to tell her, if he had taken Him, where he had laid Him, that she might take Him away; considering not that such a question, according to independent judgment and reason, was foolish; for it was evident that, if the other had stolen Him, he would not say so, still less would he allow Him to be taken away. It is a characteristic of the power and vehemence of love that all things seem possible to it, and it believes all men to be of the same mind as itself. For it thinks that there is naught wherein one may be employed, or which one may seek, save that which it seeks itself and that which it loves; and it believes that there is naught else to be desired, and naught wherein it may be employed, save that one thing, which is pursued by all. For this reason, when the Bride went out to seek her Beloved, through streets and squares, thinking that all others were doing the same, she begged them that, if they found Him, they would speak to Him and say that she was pining for love of Him. Such was the power of the love of this Mary that she thought that, if the gardener would tell her where he had hidden Him, she would go and take Him away, however difficult it might be made for her.

8. Of this manner, then, are the yearnings of love whereof this soul becomes conscious when it has made some progress in this spiritual purgation. For it rises up by night (that is, in this purgative darkness) according to the affections of the will. And with the yearnings and vehemence of the lioness or the she-bear going to seek her cubs when they have been taken away from her and she finds them not, does this wounded soul go forth to seek its God. For, being in darkness, it feels itself to be without Him and to be dying of love for Him. And this is that impatient love wherein the soul cannot long subsist without gaining its desire or dying.

—St. John of the Cross, Dark Night of the Soul

[heycarrots]

It’s here!!! It’s finally here!!! Episode 4 of Reading Between the Lines is here!

Episode 4 features ‘There Most Certainly Lies a Dark Moment Between Here and There’ by Short John Silver

This episode, I sit down and chat with Leckie, aka Short John Silver and discuss his introspective Flint fic, our mutual love of Black Sails, James, Thomas, and Silver dynamics, and the war in Ukraine. 🇺🇦

Once again, featuring the stunning cover art by Kelsey McGriff, aka @magicbubblepipe

Now, with added attempts at Ukrainian! (Apologies in advance)

Come geek out with us!

[wildwithlight]

[diariesofanoldsoul]

in the midst of darkness, light will reveal itself.

[theshadowworker]

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self

- Aldous Huxley

[thefeminineessence]

Your dark feminine energy is the you that you don’t want to acknowledge. You may think that she’s ugly, base, or unwelcome, but she demands to be seen and heard – by you. Acknowledge and love her – she’s a part of you.

Abiola Abrams

[mise-n-abyme]

"Whatever it may be that you do, allow yourself to experience it fully—whether it be old or new. Whenever you may feel, may you allow yourself to feel it fully in order for it to heal, and to observe it's flow, as it twists and contorts; as it soars way up high or sinks deeply below. May you have the strength to witness the ability to endure this flow, to accept the beauty for what it is and what it may show. Embrace everything fully and enjoy the ride; what is it that you may find on the other side?"

~Mise-n-abyme

|Artwork: 'The Forest, Trees, & Dryads' — Mario Duguay

[darkpoetrynprose]

“He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

– Emily Brontë (Wuthering Heights, 1847)