#days not even fucking over its 1:35 pm

[petermustdie]

in conclusion

[3terna15unshin3]

Then Because She Goes

When you leave, I cry on the inside

★ Chapter 11 of 15, 5082 words

★ Matty Healy x Original Female Character

★ warnings: !!! mature content, minors please do not interact !!!, smut, thigh riding, edging

<< 10

9 June, 2019

“Fuck,” Este cursed, as a loud sound in the flat below hers caused her to spill a drop of tea on her pants. She quickly wiped it away and got up to grab her beloved Tide pen—drawing on the spot to prevent any staining.

With a film on the TV, it was a quiet morning and a relaxing day off for her. She stayed in comfy clothes, hair tucked away messily in a clip, not worrying about work or bills needing to be paid or how desperately her room needed tidying. Her body had been stationary for most of the morning. It was a deserved laziness, in her opinion. But, a buzz from her phone signalled an incoming text, interrupting her and her tea once more.

matty <3

Sun, 9 Jun at 10:59 AM

Attachment: 1 Image

Thinking of you x

It was a photo of a small yellow origami star. He held it delicately between his thumb and middle finger, raising it up in the air in front of his hotel window. Este could see the architecture of the city he stayed in in the background. Germany, I think, she considered, though she couldn’t remember which city.

Sun, 9 Jun at 11:00 AM

Xx

:((((((((

Why the sad face

You’re getting all sappy on me and i miss you

Am I being too sweet for your liking??

Yea like chill for a sec

I’m smiling at my phone and everything

Soz x

But you’ve got me doing little crafts alone in my hotel room just because they remind me of you so maybe you should chill

Or maybe be less chill bc why are you never sappy or sweet with me ????? Hm???

hey I’m sweet !!!!!!!!!! Don’t be rude

The star thing is like painfully cute tho how do you expect me to top that

--- 22 June, 2019

Este ★

Sat, 22 Jun at 18:35 PM

Hey, I know it’s been hard lately and that you’ve been busy writing but this poem makes me happy and I think you need some hope at the moment

Attachment: 1 Image

Maybe you’ve heard of it already or will think it’s too simple but it's what I want to say to u :)

Matty’s heavy eyes stared at the bright blue light of his screen. The band were closing out on their sixth month of touring, and his head had gotten a bit cloudy. Desperate to get Notes On A Conditional Form out as soon as possible, any free moments they had were spent writing and recording. He poured so much of himself during every show and even more into every song written that not much was left when he was on his own. It was nonstop. Slumps like this were bound to occur while on the road, and now that Matty had healthier ways of coping with them, they weren’t as big of a deal. But they were still there, eating away at his energy—blurring the lines of his self esteem and self hatred.

The poem Este attached was “The Orange” by Wendy Cope. He hadn’t heard of it before. So, he read the words quietly to himself.

“At lunchtime I bought a huge orange—the size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave—they got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy, as ordinary things often do. Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It's new.

The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list and enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I'm glad I exist.”

Este was right about it being simple. But it was its simplicity that made Matty feel it deeply in his stomach. If he’d been sent such words by any other person in the world, it might have felt patronising—but coming from her, it made sense. There wasn’t anything that he loved more than things, art, that commanded him how to feel. Este knew that. And the words she sent commanded him to find light in the simple things. To bask in the innocence of life. To realise that if he isn’t happy, he’s just human. Fleeting moments of beauty are what matter. It was exactly what he needed to hear.

Este ★

Sat, 22 Jun at 19:00 PM

Please never stop sending me stuff

Reading the line “I’m glad I exist” felt so important

Because I am

Especially with you around x

--- 1 July, 2019

Luckily, flying from Stockholm back to Manchester wasn’t very far. So, it was easy for Matty to get on a plane to catch Este’s 28th birthday between his shows. He was a day early, but it was the only chance he had to come see her—so he took it. And somehow managed to keep it a surprise.

With Cate’s help, Matty followed through with his plan to Uber to their flat as soon as he landed; to drop off his stuff, grab food, and set up birthday decorations before walking over to Greenhouse to see Este. A bouquet of variously coloured tulips with brown paper surrounding it was cradled in his arms as he made his way. The sun peeked through the partly cloudy sky, beaming down on his tired state. He shook the nerves out and reached for the door handle.

The familiar chime caught him by surprise, as the seven months it had been since he’d last stepped into the shop forced him to forget that they were there. It brought Este’s attention to the front from her spot in the back corner where she was shelving. Sam poked his head out from the back room in curiosity.

“I heard an ‘Este Manansala’ turns 28 tomorrow…” Matty announced sarcastically before she realised who he was. The look on her face once she did was priceless.

“Oh my god. Shut up,” muttered Este as she weaved through the cramped furniture to embrace him excitedly. A giddy and uncontrollably happy laugh came from her belly had Matty leaned back while they hugged to lift her feet off the orange carpet.

“Happy Birthday, love.” he whispered in her ear before putting her down. Este tried to wipe the dumb smile on her face but failed. She kissed him instead.

Matty tasted like cigarette smoke and smelt of the flowers he held. The month between their last kiss didn’t stop her from recognizing the familiar shape of his lips when they were against hers. It lingered long and deep. They sighed into each other with satisfaction.

“What are you doing here? You’re mad,” reacted Este when they pulled away.

“To take you out on your birthday.” His hand remained on her cheek as he responded, enjoying the feeling of her soft skin. “And by ‘take you out’ I mean take you to the food I’ve put on your dining room table.”

“Have you already been by my flat?”

Matty nodded. “Went straight there after I landed. We boarded early, so Cate said I almost caught you before you left.” He laughed at the dumbfounded look on Este’s face as she struggled to accept the fact that he was real and face-to-face with her. His arms extended to shove the flowers into her grasp. Tulips were her favourite.

“Are you going to introduce me?” His finger pointed at Sam. “Or will you just stare at me with your mouth open right in front of your boss?”

She snapped out of it and turned to face the blond shop owner.

“Gosh, I’m sorry. Sam, this is Matty. My, um, my—”

“Nice to meet you, mate. I’ve been in here a couple times over the years and seen you then, but I’m glad to be formally introduced, I guess,” interrupted Matty.

It was a bit odd that he cut her off so quickly, as the timing allowed her to almost hear his fear of the topic—audibly in his voice. Her smile faltered slightly as the two men made small talk, and she spiralled silently about what she could’ve said. I should’ve just stopped at ‘This is Matty,’ instead of trying to explain who he is, thought Este. Did Matty think I was going to say he was my boyfriend? Do I want him to be my boyfriend? Does the idea of me thinking he’s my boyfriend scare him?

Her ears perked and she snapped back into the conversation when Matty mentioned that they should be taking off soon.

“Food might be getting cold by now, E. We should get going,”

“Matty, it’s half two.” She looked over at Sam for confirmation that she couldn’t just leave in the middle of her shift, but was met with a smug smile instead.

“Go on.” he encouraged with little explanation.

“Who’s going to look after the—“

“Oliver’s on his way. He wanted extra hours this week anyway.”

Guilt settled into Este’s chest. “You didn’t have to call him in and make him rush over just for me, Sam. I feel terrible,”

“I didn’t call him in. I put him down for a three o’clock start when I made his schedule last month.” Sam reassured, as he came around the counter to stand in front and lean on it. He crossed his arms, waiting for Este to accept that he had been in on the plan to let her off early.

But, she didn’t let down. “Then why would you schedule me as well?”

“Jesus Christ Este, to surprise you! Now please leave, I’m begging. I can’t take this any longer,” Sam said while laughing in her face and forcing her towards the door. “Happy early birthday.”

“How long have you had this planned?” asked Este, turning to Matty and waiting for a response.

“A while. Any more questions, or can we go?”

-

Este’s arm tangled within Matty’s as they walked the few blocks back home along the pavement. Her work bag was slung over his shoulder as she held the tulips and sniffed them occasionally for the comfort of their fresh smell. Now that the shock had disappeared and she had the time to fully take in his appearance, Este smiled at his outfit. The Vans tied round his feet were paired with a bright and fitted graphic tee, tucked into high-waisted green trousers.

“You’re staring at me.”

A giggle escaped her lips as her and Matty turned down her street and approached her flat. “Am I not allowed to?” she argued.

He shrugged, with a smile. “I don’t mind. Just want to know why.”

“Dunno, really. You’re just pretty. And I like your outfit.”

Her keys jingled when she pulled them out of her pocket to let them into the building. As they stepped in and through the next couple of doors, soon finding and pressing the ‘up’ button for the lift, Matty said, “You know, you’d think I’d be weird about you calling me ‘pretty’, but it actually felt quite nice.”

“I can call you ‘pretty’ more often, if you want. I think of it all the time, so I’d just have to start letting you know when I do,” Este suggested, turning her doorknob and entering her place.

There was a banner of letters that spelled out ‘happy birthday’ delicately strung across the wall that sat above the dining room table. The decoration was slightly crooked, but colourful and iridescent—so the sun pouring in through the window bounced off of them and shone glittery reflections all over the room. Floaty balloons were trapped against the ceiling with their strings hanging downwards at different lengths. A vase of water was the centrepiece, ready to be the home for the tulips that Este still held as she looked around. Her eyes travelled to everything else littered on the table; noticing the handful of tall tapered candles whose colours matched that of the flowers, confetti scattered across the surface of the stained wood, a bottle of wine, and a couple of takeaway bags.

A nervous Matty stood behind and waited for her to say something. When silence remained, as she continued to search for ways to thank him, he filled the space by slinging his arm around her shoulder and rubbing it gently.

Bringing his face next to hers, Matty asked, “Do you like it?” and pecked her temple.

“Does the general public know that you’re this soft of a bloke?”

He shook his head at her inability to take things seriously. “They’ll catch on eventually.”

Este laughed and turned to him, grabbing his chin, pulling it towards her to give him a kiss on the cheek back. “It’s perfect. You have a good eye,”

“Cate helped pick everything out. I’m not the best decorator. But she was busy dealing with the helium tank to fill all the balloons so I ended up laying everything out by myself in a rush. That’s why it looks a bit shit.” Matty explained, pointing at the crooked letters on the wall.

“Stop it,” she insisted, unwrapping the tulips to dip their stems in the vase and complete the decor. “There’s nothing ‘shit’ about you. It would’ve been enough even if you’d shown up empty handed and sat on the sofa with me all night.”

Stepping closer to the table to copy her, Matty unpacked the food he’d ordered for them. He uncorked the bottle and poured a glass of wine for each of them. She sat down, getting comfortable and increasingly hungry as her stomach rumbled. Hearing its noises and laughing, the two of them dug in.

Once their plates were scraped clean, Matty threw out a “Room for cake?” while a smile sat on his face, knowing they were both too stuffed to even sniff something sweet.

She cradled her full belly, slouching in her chair. “I can’t bring myself to turn down cake but I’m frightened that like, anatomically, it won’t fit in here.”

Matty got up and walked to the fridge to fetch it anyway. “Let's just do the whole ‘sing and blow out the candles’ thing. We can eat it later.”

The white box was set on the table. He let her open the lid and slide out the dessert herself. It was a small heart-shaped cake with light green and white piped icing, reading ‘Happy 28th Este’ across the top. Bright maraschino cherries lined its edge. She grinned at how perfect and delicate it was. A 2 and an 8 candle were peeled out of their package by Matty, who stuck them into the icing, getting a bit on his finger in the process and licking it. Once a match was struck and the wicks were ignited, Matty sang the classic song to her gently.

“Happy birthday to you,” he finished with the last line, maintaining eye contact from across the table.

Este’s brown irises glowed a honey colour from the warmth of the flickering fire, while her cheeks ached from the smile plastered onto it that refused to leave. Looking down to the cake to avoid confronting Matty’s phone that now pointed up at her as he took a picture, she paused to make a wish. He admired her through his screen. A couple of seconds passed before she finally blew out the flames.

As expected, they couldn’t bear the idea of eating a slice. So, they packed it up into its box and placed it back in her fridge, continuing to clean their lunchtime mess, collecting the dishes in the sink and tucking their seats in. But, Matty knew that the corny birthday celebrations weren’t over just yet—he still had her small pile of wrapped presents sat next to his bag, which he then picked up and brought over.

“You really didn’t need to get me anything. All of this is so great already,” she complained, guilty that she hadn’t done anything for his birthday, and gesturing to everything he’d done so far.

They found comfort on her fluffy sofa as he shook his head.

“It’s just something small. Don’t worry.” reassured Matty, who set the three rectangular gifts in her lap. They were similar in shape and size, individually & messily wrapped in patterned paper. He watched as Este’s apprehensive fingertips ripped through the material and revealed what was beneath it.

Of course they’re books, she thought, smiling at how predictable the two of them were. But, what she saw next caught her by surprise. As the other two got unwrapped, Este came to realise that they were all books she had been desperate to read. The shock came from the fact that she hadn’t ever mentioned the titles to Matty, and that as she flipped through them, they were written in. Sticky tabbed, underlined, and starred lines jumped out to catch her attention. Her mouth remained agape for a minute.

“How did you know that I’ve been wanting these?”

“Just looked at that app you showed me during Big Weekend. Came in handy,” he explained. “I picked the five from your ‘to read’ list that seemed the most interesting to me but only ended up getting to finish these three.”

“See, I told you it’s useful.” She laughed in disbelief as she inspected each novel. “Did you really read all of these and write in them for me?”

Matty nodded, grabbing one and looking through it himself. “They’re all great. Helped quiet down my thoughts, I think, since they’ve been too loud lately. Plus, they’re kind of like letters—everything I marked as important or stand-out, and every note I wrote in the margins was done with you in mind. Written for you. It made it fun,”

Este pulled him in for an embrace, squeezing him with delight. A couple of repeated pecks landed on his cheek.

“This is so thoughtful of you, Matty. I don’t know what to say,”

He kissed her once she finished speaking. Her lips had a minty flavour to them.

“So what did you wish for? When you blew out your candles?” Matty wondered aloud, while turning sideways and crossing his legs over one another, to face her fully.

Este copied him. “It won’t come true if I tell you,” she defended, “But there is something I was thinking of getting for my birthday.”

“And what’s that?”

“Do you know of a good piercer around here?”

-

Less than ten minutes later, Matty and Este found themselves walking side by side into the heart of downtown Manchester. Affleck’s was their destination; and the journey was short and sweet. She’d explained to him that she loved the adrenaline of getting pierced and was in the mood for some change. Since The Studio, the piercing and tattoo parlour within the beloved market, took walk-ins, they wasted no time before heading out of the flat with determination.

It was the early evening on a Monday, so there weren’t many people around, and there wasn’t a wait to get seen by a piercer. A couple of waivers were signed before Este winced in pain from the needle going through the cartilage between her nostrils.

Matty held her hand while it happened and hissed painfully alongside her as she squeezed his fingers to brace herself. The minute he complained that she was hurting him, Este gave him a death stare as the needle still sat in her nose and the piercer prepared the jewellery for insertion. Clearly her pain was a bit more intense than his. He got the message.

After it was done, she was handed a mirror to take a look. Este liked the symmetry of the new silver hoop that went through her septum; how it balanced out the weight of the plethora of jewellery stacked on either of her ears. She grinned at her reflection.

“I love it, thank you so much!” said Este, to the piercer. She then looked over to Matty, waiting for his opinion. He reached out to flick a piece of fluff out of her hair, lovingly.

“You’re like my little bull.”

There were stars in his eyes.

With their mission accomplished, they wandered around the rest of the shops without any intention of buying anything else. Her arm was linked with his. They pointed at mannequins clad in heinous clothing to make fun of them and people watched.

“Want to see something funny?” asked Matty as they approached a stairwell far too familiar to him.

“Depends on what it is.”

He dragged her up the first flight and Este’s eyes scanned over its walls. Every inch was covered in posters. A certain one caught her eye, and she instantly knew what he was referencing. Young Ross, Adam, Matty, and George were displayed on an angsty black and white poster near the floor, casually accompanied by ones of David Bowie, The Smiths, and Bob Dylan. Este couldn’t help but laugh at how different Matty looked in the dramatically contrasted shot.

“My god, look at the state of your hair!” she teased.

“A lot of people actually want me to bring the shaved sides back, you know.”

She stepped back and held her phone up, gesturing for him to pose for a picture next to the silly anecdote, still laughing. “I can’t even recall how many times I’ve walked up these stairs without even noticing your little face down there.”

Matty kept a straight face and held up his hand in a thumbs-down position for her photo. “I like to come here whenever I’m in town and have the time to. Seems to get smaller every time.”

“Okay, granddad.”

-

Their legs grew tired of sauntering around with no objective, so soon enough, they collapsed back onto Este’s sofa. She lazily put something random on the telly and sprawled her legs across Matty’s lap—laying down while he sat upward. Rhythmic circles were traced onto the skin right above her ankles by his fingertips as they happily relaxed in the privilege of doing nothing, but together. The lack of plans helped them appreciate every minute passing; how they somehow seemed to pass by slower and feel sweeter as they sat in each other’s company.

In need of the toilet, Este forced herself to leave the nestled position they’d spent the recent hours in. The chill enveloping Matty after her body warmth was no longer draped across him made him frown. But, she came back quickly, and wasn’t even gone long enough to need to ask him what she’d missed on the episode of Bake Off that flashed on her TV screen.

Returning to Matty and the sofa, she decided to sit on top of him. Her knees were on either side of his hips. He smirked at her forward and suddenly bold demeanour as his hands found themselves on Este’s arse. They were comfortable there.

“Have a good wee?” Matty asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, great actually. Thanks.” Her fingers combed through the long and shaggy section of his hair, near the front, to part it down the centre and tuck the curls behind his ears. Seeing more of his face was the goal in her action. “You look pretty.” she repeated, from earlier. Matty’s smirk morphed into a closed-mouth smile at the sound of her niceties.

“I feel pretty with you on top of me.” he retaliated, suspending the suggestive mood she initiated.

Este’s hands remained on either side of his neck when he brought her lips down to meet his. They moved against one another delicately, but both wanted more. It was only a matter of time before the lust between them escalated the heat of the moment. So, she deepened their kiss, pulling Matty in closer and shifting her hips to feel more of him and humming in the process. She winced when his nose brushed against hers and her fresh piercing, but it didn’t stop her.

The friction she created over his bulge made him groan. He pinched the skin at her waist with greed as his hands crept beneath her top. It only encouraged Este to continue with her fluid movements, his pants growing tighter.

As much as Matty wanted to revel in the pleasure of his girl hovering above him—one of his favourite places for her to be—he considered the fact that it was her birthday. Her day. The thought made him want to try something new.

“Can I make you feel good?” he whispered, breaking their lips apart for air and to squeeze his question into the muggy air.

She nodded against him, beginning to climb off of his lap to lay on her back; assuming Matty wanted to go down on her. But, he stopped her before she could. Instead, he just sat up straighter, nearer to the edge of the cushion beneath them, and used his hands to position her straddle over only one of his legs. He wanted Este to ride his thigh.

They didn’t bother taking off any of their clothes. His hands guided her back and forth, her eyes fluttering shut in indulgence as the seam of her shorts and the pressure of his leg pressed against her clit. She bit back a moan with her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.

“Let me hear you, E.” encouraged Matty. Obliging, the next roll of her hips dragged a string of profanity out of her throat. “That’s better.”

The tightness in her lower stomach grew. Hot breath cycled between them as they breathed through their mouths during the lulls that found their lips no longer tangled together. Este could feel his hard-on when the top of her thigh came forward to graze it, growing wetter and closer to her climax by the second. She was a mess, and putty in Matty’s hands.

His eyes were glued to her. The way she moved and moaned his name with determination drove him insane, and made it hard for him to ignore the throbbing in his pants. Her face dropped into his neck, scratching at his skin softly with her teeth as she whined.

“Harder,” Este muttered, clearly getting close. He listened to her command and used his hands to bring her heat along his leg with aggression. The increased force made her cry out into him, head still hidden beneath his jaw.

Matty let her moans heighten in pitch, feeling her start to shake against him. But, suddenly, his hands slowed down her movements. “No,” he told her, “Not yet.”

Cruelly, he deprived her of the feeling she was chasing. A gentler and slower pace continued, much to Este’s dismay, as she quietly begged for more.

“Matty, please,” fell from her lips with desperation.

In response, he began building up the pressure, but at a snail’s pace. Her hips buckled forward in attempts for any pleasure she could get.

“Ask me one more time, baby.”

Her thick hair fell around her face, sticking to her sweaty skin as her head spun. “I need to come. Please, let me,” she forced out to him between her heavy breathing, and as soon as Matty heard her words, he tightened his grip and encouraged her hips to move faster. The sudden boom of resistance on her sensitive core drew more noises from her mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Este could almost see stars. Only a couple seconds of him grinding her against him and uttering filth into her ear finally brought her to her orgasm, the convulsed muscles in her abdomen releasing their pressure. A wet patch soaked through her shorts and onto Matty’s when she moaned his name. The two of them slowed to a stop to catch their breath and kiss hungrily once more. A giddy expression couldn’t be wiped from her face if she tried.

When she gained a bit of her composure back, still sat on Matty’s lap, she took note of the almost concerning amount of sweat that encompassed their skin and the now dirty clothing they were wearing. “I think I need a shower,” Este decided.

Matty scoffed. “You’re going to leave and take a shower? When this is what you did to me?” he pointed to his crotch in disbelief. He was painfully hard.

Giggling and with a shrug, she responded, “Then come with.”

--- 2 July, 2019

That night, they washed the perspiration off of each other (after the shower head Este promised) and threw on comfy clothes. Both exhausted, they planned on climbing into her bed—but when Matty caught The Goonies popping up on the TV out in the lounge, they ended up staying awake.

Not for much longer, though. They must have only seen ten minutes of the cult classic film before dozing off and spending the night with their jumbled limbs squished together on the sofa. Aching muscles were a theme of the morning that followed.

It was reasonably early when they woke. Matty remembered to wish Este happy birthday the minute he learned she was conscious, showering her face in playful pecks. She didn’t want to do anything more with her day though, and thought yesterday was kind enough for him to plan. A quiet day in with Matty by her side was what she wanted. So they did exactly that, and stayed round her flat to do more nothings. It was peaceful. It was needed.

The annoying thing was that Este didn’t allow him to smoke in the house. When it was a joint, cracking a window was fine—as she frequently did so herself—but she forced him to take his cigarettes outside. As Matty needed another one, she followed him down, to soak up all of him she could get.

But, in the back of her mind, Este knew she was looking for a moment to be serious with him. Have a conversation about what had been fogging her conscience since he surprised her at Greenhouse the previous day.

Leaning against the wall of her building while he took a drag next to her, she mustered up the courage.

“So,” she started quietly, “Do you see other people?”

12 >>

[rastronomicals]

11:35 PM EDT September 21, 2023:

Eno/Cale - "In The Backroom" From the album Wrong Way Up (October 5, 1990)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

Back when it was new--and I was 25 years old--I eagerly purchased this compact disc. Oh, it was a time, man. The CD was packaged in--get this (if you can: most people today I would assume don't know what it had been)--a longbox. A theft deterrent then, and a music geek collectible now. Funny the way things transform, sometimes.

So. It being that time, I didn't know as much about Brian Eno or John Cale then as I do now, but I still knew Here Come the Warm Jets and White Light/White Heat. And because those records had been great, I expected Wrong Way Up to be pretty awesome.

Did I know then that the 3-1/2-minute revolution called "Sky Saw" featured Cale? Or that there was a cult album named June 1, 1974 that featured them both?

Not sure. Wise now, was I wise then?

Anyway, the excitement before the purchase turned into disappointment afterwards. This album, it did not rock, it bore no traces of Warm Jets or White Heat, and it wasn't weird at all, and I sold it and I forgot about it as quickly as possible.

Lately though, nearly 30 years later, thinner of hair, and wiser of the music, man, I've been on an Eno jag, and I came across a review of the album on Pitchfork that suggested the album, synthpop though it was, achieved nothing less than brilliance in its rather conflicted creation.

Hell, I hadn't even known that the artists hadn't gotten along. . . . So I figured, what *had* I known, in my judgement 30 years ago? I'd been only 25, and had probably been a little bit um, over-influenced, by hardcore punk. My tastes are more sophisticated now! I could like an album that maybe wasn't so manic. Really I could. And shit, everything I've been doing for the last month was all about what a fucking genius Eno was. . . Maybe I'd been hasty in my dismissal of WWU back then, simply because it didn't sound like "Third Uncle," or "I Heard Her Call My Name." 'Cause hell, on reflection, thinking about it in 2019, in the midst of a Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno freakout, neither does "Luftschloss."

Goddamn, then, let's try it again, I thought. So last week, I bought a CD copy off Discogs. Received it yesterday, listened to it on the way into work this morning, and ... it's unabashedly awful.

It's lame, predictable, and without a trace of the genius which otherwise marks both men's work. You're tempted to say a few things, although you should probably resist the urges. You're tempted to say that it was a case of men outside the times attempting foolishly to sound like them, but that's wrong. 1990 had no great rush of synthpop albums.

1990 was about Jane's Addiction; Jane's Addiction, and Happy Mondays and Sonic Youth's major label debut. Nobody was making synthpop. That these two major artists felt like going there, I don't know, it's odd, it's strange, it's fucked up.

You're also tempted to say, maybe, if you're not that familiar with the facts, that this was the work of giants who had exhausted their creative energies prior to its making, young lions become old farts. But, of course, that's ridiculous. Five years after this mistake of a record, Eno would record Nerve Net, which showed him as able as his youngself to stretch things out. And if you want pop, shit, Eno made Another Day on Earth in 2005, as he was approaching 60, and that is a brilliant, quirky, intelligent pop record, even if it's not as much like M83 as I might prefer.

Wrong Way Up is a detour into mediocrity. Definite, and puzzling, that is.

It all goes to show many things, perhaps most importantly--and I swear I'm not looking to trash Pitchfork specifically here--that if an artist known for making good things makes something crappy, there will always--always--be somebody around to tell people that, fuck the facts, it is in fact pretty good.

There's also the reminder given that I had the suss of the thing down back in 1990. I like to think of myself as smarter now, wiser if you have to go there, and I was prepared to second-guess myself, and take a lesson from it too, but at least in this case, me and the version of myself that existed three decades ago are smack dab in agreement. There's a stolidity about that I find appealing, but maybe, just maybe, there's also a disappointing inability to evolve.

Funny the way things don't transform, sometimes.

https://lahistoriadelamusicarock.blogspot.com/2019/04/enocale-wrong-way-up-opal-records-back.html

File under: Fool Me Twice

[tearstoshed4ever]

"Please, love. Calm yourself. Remember your vow....Things will get better in time." Widow said, trying to console her.

iv tried but al its gotten me is this

emily sniffled

getinering to her arm again

she wiped her tears on the hem of her mothers dress

todays is a very hard day for me

id be 19 today

but inseed im stuck at 18 forever

which in itself wouldnt be so bad

but on top of everthing esle i aslo miss my family

mommy

daddy

lydia

but i never see any of them anymore

im fucking sick of being dead

i want to be alive again

surly there must be some way

Jul 1, 2021 11:47 PM

to revrese this mistake

and let me go back home to my family

she turned back to maggot and widow

maggot was hurt and ready to cry at the of her leaving

widow was alos hurt but maily cause emily spoke like she didnt think they were a good enough family

oh maggot dont u start crying again

i just manged to stop

to

and widow dont look at me that way

if i hurt your feelings im sorry

u know i think of u as my family

and that i love both more then anything in the world

but i dont belong here

i belonge upstaires

and i think my vow was a mistake

i know i said i would wait as long as it takes but im tired of waiting

i dont want to be patent anymore

iv tried to be happy here but its not working

please tell me is there even the sightst chance i can live again

if so ill anything

Jul 2, 2021 4:47 AM

Maggot and widow looked at each other, trying to come up with an answer. "There's not a way we know dear, not until a human caused a fuss by raising his cousin from the tomb. But that was ages ago." Widow said sadly. "Elder goodnicht might know. But I doubt he would help," maggot suggested

(whars the raising the dead thing from

emilys black eyes lit up and she smiled for the fisrt time that day

"Oh, what a fantastic idea!

she squealed jumping up

ill go see him right now

maggot u stay here with widow

we dont need a repete of last year

(from what?)

(it was from the bible. Jesus raising Lazarus.)

"Gladly. Just make sure she doesn't go petting all those smelly old crows!" Maggot said back.

emily just rolled her eyes that was excaty why she told him to stay

ill be back later

and with that she left the ally

u know u just set her up for dissappment

widow said

shes gonna end up getting her poor little heart crushed

hey i was just trying to help

maggot protested

i know and thats very kind of u

and your one to talk widow your the one whos always trying to keep her hopes up

Jul 2, 2021 7:09 PM

"well somebody has to! Tge poor girl is devastated!" Widow snapped

why are u pissed at me what the hell did i do now

maggot snapped back

Jul 2, 2021 9:36 PM

"I'm not pissed I'm just...I'm afraid for Emily. I didn't mean to take it out on you, love. You're just so darn candid." Widow said

im scared for her to i thought she was over this bullshit

uptill today she seemed fine

no nightmares

no crying

she was eating and talking to people

she wasnt even crying in her sleep anmore

and id know if she was cause i live in her head now

but now shes right back where she stared from

she hasnt left her room all day

she looks like shit

she hasnt eaten

shes crying again

and now shes hurting herself

and wants to leave

i dont think shed even want us as parents

and i know u feel the same cause i saw the look on your face

Jul 2, 2021 11:35 PM

hi! I'm back😊) "We just have to keep trying, maggot. She's got to accept the reality of it all. We have to help her, even if she doesn't want our help. We can't let her become a lost soul, forever longing for life and trapped between two worlds." Widow said softly. Maggot was right. What Emily said, how she reacted had broken her heart. But she couldn't abandon Emily.

crawling over to the pillow she curled up and began to wepp softly

holy shit i havent seen u cry since the furnel last year

wiggling over to her

Jul 5, 2021 4:27 PM

his own hurt feelings resufecing

(Emily or widow is crying?)

widow

emily already left

(

"I can cry! I have feelings just like anyone else in this family!" Widow so bed

*sobbed

well at least tell me why

your crying

maggot asked hesently storking her head with his tail

he was used to emily crying but not widow

shed always been the strong put though one

Jul 5, 2021 6:46 PM

Smartass as he was

And and as hardass as he tried to act

Deep down he was as emotional and kindhearted as both of his girls were

And knowing the women he loved more then life itself were in pain brought tears to his eyes

Jul 6, 2021 6:01 AM

"oh stop with all that nonsense! You're not failing you're mother. Nobody's pissed at you for leaving. They're all drunk and having a bloody good time. Do they wish you were there, yes? Do they understand why you left, yes? Don't worry about it!" Widow said

and that was enough to finally get though to her

she smiled

your right

im done moping

done crying

and done being depressed

"I'm going to take action! I'll find a husband and finally get out of here!" Emily declared

and u and maggot are coming with me

when i leave

she added

Jun 26, 2021 11:51 PM

She kissed her finger pressed it to widows head then stood up

Come on widow let’s go back to the party and have some fun

Jun 27, 2021 5:48 AM

"As you wish, dearie." Widow smiled. She was happy Emily was trying to move on. Even if she wasn't entirely happy yet, she could be way less sad.

Jun 27, 2021 11:37 AM

and with that they rejoined the party

the end

Jun 27, 2021 4:53 PM

Yay! Are you happy with how it turned out?

yes very

now we gotta do the other prequel

the bday one

Jun 27, 2021 8:27 PM

The birthday one? I've forgotten about that, what was that one about?

its gonna be a follow up to this one

its one year into her death

Oh right, I remember now.

this is where the things hinted at in the last one come in

we start with her alone in her room once again

the ally virabtes with tiny sobs

and sniffls

she sits on the stepsa buring candle in her lap

cold tears streaking down her pale blue cheeks

shes a mess

her beauful blue hair is a scarggly clumpy tangled mess

her mascura caked in the hollows of her eyes

making her look like a very pretty raccon

Jun 28, 2021 12:46 AM

Depressed, the only light she sees is the flame of the candle. She'd never notice how alive fire was. It made her jealous. "I could snuff you out right now, if I wanted." Emily tells it, her fingers coming close to the flame. But the fire is unafraid. It flickers in, as if she doesn't exist

Snilffing she boldly sticks one finger into the dancing flame

She expects to be burned, to feel any type of pain. But there's nothing. It all just feels cold. She's completely numb, everywhere but in the inside

If I touch a burning candle I can no pain

She whimpered

She try’s again with all the fingers of her right hand

Jun 28, 2021 3:55 PM

but just gets the same reselt

scwoling she looks at her left arm

though tearfilled eyes

and and hand

the skin has startd to dry and flake

from always having it sticking out of the ground

the thing her best friends warned her about has happened

"Horrid. Positively horrid." She sighs, looking forlorn. She wants to be sad about it but somehow she knows it's just how it is. There's no use crying over it

shed begain to rot

she drys her eyes with the backs of her hands then picking up the candle pours some hot wax into her open plam

"Nothing. No pain at all" she sighed, not realizing her guardians were approaching

she wanted to get the knife from under her pillow and slash her wrists

still not noticeing them she puts down the candle gets up and goes to her bed

drawing out the knife

to lost inher own mirsty

to notice

she puts the sharp blad to her left wrist and pulls it arcross

black tarlike blood ozzes from the the cut

bringing froth the smell of rot

but once again she feels no pain

if u cut me with a knife its still the same she sniffles and begins to sob again

her tears salting the wound

Jun 28, 2021 6:49 PM

hey what the hell do u think your doing

maggot yells

starling her and making her drope the knife

Jun 28, 2021 9:49 PM

hi

Jun 29, 2021 8:03 PM

so this is what happens if im not in your head all the time

u go and do something stupid like this

malating your pretty skin

and getting blood blood on your dress

sloppy carless stupid little goose

maggot snerred trying to hide how worryed he is

hurt embrassed and deprssed emily flopps sidways on the matresss and weeps into her pillow her bedgallged hair falling over her face

Jun 30, 2021 4:38 AM

(hi, sorry I was gone yesterday. I had a rough day at work and then just went straight to sleep when I got home.) "oh maggot, that's not the way! You're being too rough on the girl!" Widow chides. Quickly she runs over to Emily, creating a web with her spindly legs and putting it on Emily's wound like a bandage. "Rough!? I'm rough! If she wasn't already dead, she would have killed herself! We can't let her harm herself like that or she'll turn to dust before we know it!" Maggot bristled.

the thought of turning to dust made emily cry even harder

Jun 30, 2021 5:03 PM

"Shh! maggot! See what you did!" Widow snaps before turning to comfort Emily. "Don't listen to him Emmy, that won't happen. You'll have to be older than an Egyptian mummy before that happens. You'll never see that far because you're going to find a nice young man before then."

i dont see how now that im fucking rotting emily sobbed sitting up

look at me she wailes thrusting her [ealing arm at them

pealing

the cut had ripped off a chuck of skin eposing the bone under nethg

Jun 30, 2021 7:22 PM

more tears spill down her cheeks

Jul 1, 2021 1:15 AM

and her bottom lip quakes

"oh...oh dear, now don't cry! Uhm...perhaps the fancy ladies have something to cover it up! Perhaps needle and thread can do the trick." Widow suggested

well what about this emily whimpered getering to her stab wound that had now decayed to the point that her ribs showed

"I...I'm afraid it's too late for that, dear. But maybe the other spiders and I can repair the dress so it doesn't show?" Widow proposed. "What's the point! It would only get ruined again!" Emily wailed.

this is the wosrt fucking brithday ever she howled bursting into deep gurtter sobs

guttler

Jul 1, 2021 5:19 PM

chocking on her own tears

Jul 1, 2021 7:23 PM

"Please, love. Calm yourself. Remember your vow....Things will get better in time." Widow said, trying to console her.

iv tried but al its gotten me is this

emily sniffled

getinering to her arm again

she wiped her tears on the hem of her mothers dress

todays is a very hard day for me

id be 19 today

but inseed im stuck at 18 forever

which in itself wouldnt be so bad

but on top of everthing esle i aslo miss my family

mommy

daddy

lydia

but i never see any of them anymore

im fucking sick of being dead

i want to be alive again

surly there must be some way

Jul 1, 2021 11:47 PM

to revrese this mistake

and let me go back home to my family

she turned back to maggot and widow

maggot was hurt and ready to cry at the of her leaving

widow was alos hurt but maily cause emily spoke like she didnt think they were a good enough family

oh maggot dont u start crying again

i just manged to stop

to

and widow dont look at me that way

if i hurt your feelings im sorry

u know i think of u as my family

and that i love both more then anything in the world

but i dont belong here

i belonge upstaires

and i think my vow was a mistake

i know i said i would wait as long as it takes but im tired of waiting

i dont want to be patent anymore

iv tried to be happy here but its not working

please tell me is there even the sightst chance i can live again

if so ill anything

Jul 2, 2021 4:47 AM

Maggot and widow looked at each other, trying to come up with an answer. "There's not a way we know dear, not until a human caused a fuss by raising his cousin from the tomb. But that was ages ago." Widow said sadly. "Elder goodnicht might know. But I doubt he would help," maggot suggested

(whars the raising the dead thing from

emilys black eyes lit up and she smiled for the fisrt time that day

"Oh, what a fantastic idea!

she squealed jumping up

ill go see him right now

maggot u stay here with widow

we dont need a repete of last year

(from what?)

(it was from the bible. Jesus raising Lazarus.)

"Gladly. Just make sure she doesn't go petting all those smelly old crows!" Maggot said back.

(cool

emily just rolled her eyes that was excaty why she told him to stay

ill be back later

and with that she left the ally

u know u just set her up for dissappment

widow said

shes gonna end up getting her poor little heart crushed

hey i was just trying to help

maggot protested

i know and thats very kind of u

and your one to talk widow your the one whos always trying to keep her hopes up

Jul 2, 2021 7:09 PM

"well somebody has to! Tge poor girl is devastated!" Widow snapped

why are u pissed at me what the hell did i do now

maggot snapped back

Jul 2, 2021 9:36 PM

"I'm not pissed I'm just...I'm afraid for Emily. I didn't mean to take it out on you, love. You're just so darn candid." Widow said

im scared for her to i thought she was over this bullshit

uptill today she seemed fine

no nightmares

no crying

she was eating and talking to people

she wasnt even crying in her sleep anmore

and id know if she was cause i live in her head now

but now shes right back where she stared from

she hasnt left her room all day

she looks like shit

she hasnt eaten

shes crying again

and now shes hurting herself

and wants to leave

i dont think shed even want us as parents

and i know u feel the same cause i saw the look on your face

Jul 2, 2021 11:35 PM

hi

Jul 3, 2021 4:07 PM

(sorry gone on family vacation tty on monday!)

ok

Jul 4, 2021 6:35 PM

(hi! I'm back😊) "We just have to keep trying, maggot. She's got to accept the reality of it all. We have to help her, even if she doesn't want our help. We can't let her become a lost soul, forever longing for life and trapped between two worlds." Widow said softly. Maggot was right. What Emily said, how she reacted had broken her heart. But she couldn't abandon Emily.

crawling over to the pillow she curled up and began to wepp softly

holy shit i havent seen u cry since the furnel last year

wiggling over to her

Jul 5, 2021 4:27 PM

his own hurt feelings resufecing

(Emily or widow is crying?)

widow

emily already left

(

"I can cry! I have feelings just like anyone else in this family!" Widow so bed

*sobbed

well at least tell me why

your crying

maggot asked hesently storking her head with his tail

he was used to emily crying but not widow

shed always been the strong put though one

Jul 5, 2021 6:46 PM

Smartass as he was

And and as hardass as he tried to act

Deep down he was as emotional and kindhearted as both of his girls were

And knowing the women he loved more then life itself were in pain brought tears to his eyes

Jul 6, 2021 6:01 AM

hi

Jul 6, 2021 4:40 PM

(hi sorry I had a rough day) "Why do you think, Maggot? I keep trying and trying to keep this family together, but nothing I do is working. Emily is kind, but we're not really her family." Widow sobbed.

maggot was shocked at how much she sounded like him

right now

he wanted to tell her she was wrong but he could

not

so he jusy layed down next to her hugged her tight

and let the tears ran down his cheeks

i guess this means wer not gonna apot her after all are we

he whimperd

Jul 6, 2021 7:31 PM

"No...no maggot. We are. It's just...it's just going to be harder than we thought." Widow sbiffled

*sniffled

he nodded

as she wrapped her eight legs around him

then the two of them just lay there and cried their broken little hearts out

[dopaminergicaddictions]

The hallucination got to much worse yesterday. I wonder why? I couldn't focus cause I was so tired.. I heard it talking at me during therapy it went from inaudible just i could hear it trying to it was saying full sentences. This is why I always worry about sleeping cause when I talk to someone I can drown it out very easily when I actually slepe even when it's 5 hours of sleep.

I took maximum dose at 5:35 last night and laid down at 6:30. I got up a few times over the night and had to take like 30 to 40 minutes to knock back out but I woke up at 6 am. I am staying up. It fixed my schedule and the hallucination went back to the way it was. Quieter and less distracting and I can focus again. I prob got 7 to 9 hours but it's so segmented with bathroom breaks. That's its somewhere in between.

My will to live went from 2 to like 8. My doctors don't want to increase from 1.0 to 1.5..... I'm having my therapist Erin call in cause of they can just get me to fucking February 21st sleeping every fucking night. I'd need two weeks without weed and I'm going to go back to fucking normal.

I'm requesting a gene test and a hair test for the 22nd... I want to rule out the gene thing... cause I mean tbh.... with the onset. How it visited everyday and went away after I stopped being high it it's so obvious thc... but until i see that I don't have the gene and as long as I hallucinate I'm going to keeo worrying...

I worry that I have the gene but thc started it..... if that's the case I'd wait until the thc drained out and end it if it hasn't left once I get the thc out.. when I sleep regularly and everything it seems to get minorly and I mean minoely better every single day...

I'm worried I won't slept tonight. My doctor is pushing me to see a psychiatrist to take over and percribe a higher dose.... it's making me lose hope cause just push me through the next month and half. It could be done tomorrow or next week or even before the 22nd.... maybe it'll be Feb 10th... but I need to SLEEP EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'm going to take less than maximum dose at 10 tonight and if I'm not sleeping by 12 I'm going to raise it so hopefully I'm our by 2. At least now my 17 hour mark is fucking 10 pm... 10 pm seems like so fucking long from now. I wish I could take it at 8 but I tried 12 hours, I tried 15-`16. I guess my body needs 17 waking hours.

Wish me luck as if Erin can't get them to push it to 1.5... I'm going to have major issues Well before this goes away. Getting in with a psychiatrist is almost impossible and they are going to push fucking antipsychotics and anticholinergics... and prob antidepressants for christ sake. I won't take any of those EVER... and it could be a useless thing to do If they won't increase it.

I'm hoping that after my doctor has another provider in the loop they'll consider it. At least they'll give me 1 for the foreseeable future but I can't scarfice one night of sleep.

I'm not joking yesterday it might as well even been November 15th when I couldn't even watch a movie or talk in therapy without the voice taking away my entire fucking focus... and today it's like wait it's Jan. 12th and It's like it even improved from the day before I didn't sleep...

[swinterr]

fic rec vi ♡

hi!

this is a another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

made some changes like tidying up a bit and adding summary, for those that doesn’t have any summary i’ll try my best to add my own summary (it will probably be shit tho, i ain’t making a smut summary guys, i’m not confident in my describing a fic ability but i’ll try my best. if its in italic it means i made the summary hehez )  if the summary is shit, i made it okay.

read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

nct 

jeno

no title by @tyongf-nct | s

- smut blurb.

body guards and boyfriend by @pastelsicheng | f

-  sometimes the only way you can really get some alone time with your boyfriend is by making his job hard.

lipstick smears by @kopikokun | f

-  jeno never thought trying to get his makeup artist’s attention would be this hard.

jaehyun

[10:30] by @moonttaeil | 

- a lockdown moment.

[2:40] by @nct-jungjaehyun | f a

- cute quality fluff time with bf!jae with a dash of angst.

[11:41] by @jeongvision | f 

- family time with apples.

just like magic by @starryhyuck | f s

-  jung jaehyun’s body count is almost as high as yours. however, after yuta spreads a nasty rumor, you learn that jaehyun’s always imagined those girls to be you instead.

love to hate me by @moonctzeny | s a 

-  you and jaehyun meet as sm trainees, developing a friendship until he debuts and you decided to leave the company and pursue a solo career. when you reunite again in a music show and he acts like he barely knows you, you stubbornly begin a series of hate-brimmed sex rendez-vous. your touch-and-go relationship continues on, until a song collaboration will force you both to deal with all your repressed feelings for each other.

moving on by @ddeonghwaa | f a

- reader has been chasing jae for some time but when she moved on jae suddenly enter the picture.

sun&moon by @ppangjae | f a

-  asking jeong jaehyun to accompany you to your family’s 1-week christmas vacation as your boyfriend has its consequences. one can surely get through 1 week of pretending to be in love with an enemy, right?

snack run with a snack by @kopikokun | f 

-  on your usual movie night with the members, they assign you sudden snack collecting duty. you’re a little peeved, but at least jaehyun offers to tag along. Unfortunately for you, things really aren’t going in your favour tonight.

lover boy by @neoct-zen | f s

- bunch fics of lover boy jae and reader.

jungwoo

one more time, please by @haequarius | f s

-  you don’t know what you and Jungwoo are, but you are certainly weak for him.

jealous by @whiplashsan | s 

-  jungwoo is all smiles and sunshine until he gets jealous, and he just so happens to get jealous over the smallest things when it comes to you.

doyoung

sugar, spice and everything not nice by @alreadyblondenow | s

-  doyoung getting your ring size wrong, unprotected sex, kitchen sex, slight fingering, wedding tragedies.

no title by @ncteaxhoe | s

- dom!doyoung, rough? i need holy water.

the little one by @ethaeriyeol | f 

-  a gift of life; female reader x husband!Doyoung; fluff, light angst, married au

lucas

exquisite taste by @weishenkonbini | s f

- smut but with a fluffy ending.

for you always by @labyrinthsofyou | f

-  in which you surprise yukhei when he forgets about your date.

6:19 by @cozykpopblurbs | f

- a cute fluff ft kun and winwin.

10:18 pm by @nctsoftarchives | f

- reader supports lucas at his superm debut stage. 

16:47 by @sichengssmile | f s 

- a fluffy smut. lucas a big boi.

missed you by @tokyobts | a f

-  after you and yukhei broke up, yukhei still has feelings for you. he reaches out to you at school and tries to get you back. at first you avoid him but later his actions manage to make your heart flutter. you’ve come to a sudden conclusion that you maybe still want him in your life.

johnny

34 + 35 by @domjaehyun | s 

- you and your husband johnny decide to take your marriage to the next step.

i couldn’t wait a little longer by @alreadyblondenow | s f a

-  you two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. it was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. johnny tried, you tried but it never happens.

what happens in korea, not stays in korea by @alreadyblondenow | f s 

-  a week vacation in korea for your sister’s wedding became even more exciting when a famous dj had a crush on you. johnny was sure that it’s love at first sight. not putting both of your careers on the line, you two had no regrets when the time comes and you finally leave.

laundry day by @immabiteyou | s

- a domestic fluffy smut.

make a wish by @sluttyten | s f a

-  you’re jungwoo’s sister, and he’s made it clear he wants you and Johnny to have nothing to do with each other. so you and johnny start fake dating to piss him off.

want it all by @sluttyten | f s 

-  you are entirely innocent to the point of being naive. johnny is not innocent, but he loves that you are because it means he can teach you everything you don’t know.

sungchan

wish i was her by @softsungchan | f a 

-  you wished you were her, laying in Sungchan’s arms and feeling his warm breath on your neck, giggling about sweet nothings whispered into the starry night. You wished for it to be you, the girl he liked.

2:21 am by @the32ndbeat | f 

- sungchan being whipped, thru a text message.

haechan

14:52 by @ukiyoexo | f

- a cute haechan and reader ft the reader’s baby sister moment.

prince’s order by @nsheetee | f

-  prince haechan nurses you after you faint, and orders you to stay with him until you feel better.

sweet treat by @markresonates | s

-  haechan takes you for ice cream but all you can think about is sex with him.  when you act like a brat, eventually you end up in the bathroom. with no panties. 

clingy by @love-mi | f 

-  I’m not clingy! I just love your company and constantly want to be around you and have your full attention at all times

mark

hyuck is always right by @luvrenjun00 | f 

- ceo!mark x reader ft baby donghyuck. a tooth-rotting fluff.

taeyong

snow storm by @whereisten | f s 

- a fluffy smut whilst a snow storm.

1:59 by @smoll-tangerine | f

- reader and taeyong ft my favorite game (where i always die first) among us!

bts

taehyung

is this allowed 1 2 by @seokiie  | f s

- how were you supposed to know bts would be filming at your coffee shop today? how were you supposed to know a certain curly-haired boy would take a liking  to you?

cabin pressure | f by @jiminrings | f 

-  pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

art major!tae and biochem major!yn | f by @jiminrings | f

-  tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

gank mid lane by @kimtaehyunq | f s 

- gank / verb: (in a video game) use underhand means to defeat or kill (a less experienced opponent)

birthday surprise by @ephemeralkookie |

-  like every year, you prepare a little surprise for your boyfriend’s birthday, one that you’ve been preparing for days. and after a very tiring day, taehyung only wants to spend the night in your loving arms.

jungkook

cookies & cream | s by @1kook | f s 

-  jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (and maybe having his dick sucked.)

unholy night | s by @ephemeralkookie | f s

-  after a christmas day passed with the Jeon’s family, Jungkook decides to transform the holy night into an unholy one.

‘a short’ abstinence | s a by @seokiie | s a

-  maybe blue-balling you boyfriend (who has an insanely high sexual drive) wasn’t the best.

in which she’s done with him by @minstrivia | a

-  jungkook angst/fluff where he always pushes oc away (who confesses her feelings but was cruelly rejected) and insults her but she always comes back to take care of him when he’s drunk or picks him up from his one night stands and she finally decides to leave him alone.

bad influence by @noteguk | s 

-  in which you know jungkook is a bad influence on you, but you can’t avoid falling for him every time.

jock!jk and shy art major!yn by @jiminrings | f

-  established relationship ft. jock!jk and shy art major!y/n, y/n gets an unexpected pep talk and jungkook doubts himself, and either so much tears or so much dUST according to kook

special affair by @1oserjk | f

-  sugar daddy au except it’s just jk spoiling u thru animal crossing

fairy of shampoo by @ironicarmy | f s

-  sundays are for relaxation, house cleaning, and happiness.

abstract ft bob ross by @mimithings97 | f

-  paintbrush in one hand, joint in the other and you sitting on his dick is what jeongguk wants. and what jeongguk wants, jeongguk gets.

badboy!jungkook by @jungshookz | f 

- badboy!jungkook falls for good girl reader ft the boys and the reader’s apple. 

growing by @lesgetittkookie | f

- dad!jungkook teacher his daughter how to walk. super super cute family/domestic fluff.

quiet, baby by @bratkook | s 

- i don’t how to write a summary on smuts so imma just put this. reader and jungkook doing something in the subway.

still want that by @whatifyoulivelikethat | s

-  fucking min yoongi ex-girlfriend? a terrible idea. being hopelessly in love with her at the same time? an even worse idea. knowing he was being used and still doing it anyway? ah, Jeon Jungkook, what are you doing? part 2 of savage love.

desiderium by @jeonggukingdom | f s 

-  “we’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still so horny?”. a newlyweds!au smut.

chapstick by @softyoongiionly | f s

- based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. or jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. 

lover boy by @jingukk | f 

-  jungkook likes you. a lot.

unexpected confession by @sunkissedjk | f

-  you gathered up the courage to confess your feelings, but it seems everyone in school knows about it before you could even find him.

string attached by @ephemeralkookie | s

-  jungkook is what we can call your sexfriend. No strings attached, just you and him having fun and releasing the huge pressure and stress of being idols. But after spending an entire day together, you realize that maybe he’s not just your sexfriend.

no title by @himbojk | f s 

- dilf jk.

astro

eunwoo

ceo!eunwoo by @m0onbean

no title by @yutopiada | f

- a cute idol!reader and eunwoo moment at a music show.

disney by @bangchan-sonyeondan | f

- a cute date with eunwoo at disney. reader likes vintage things hence using a disposable camera.

baby, it’s cold outside by @fresh-outta-jams | f 

- a cute cold christmas fluff with eunwoo ft. the boys. reader went to the boys’ place for a sweater and cocoa gift exchange.

got7

yugyeom

cruel brothers by @imsarabum | f

-  jackson and jaebum have always acted as if they were your big, overprotective brothers. so when they both walk in on you and yugyeom in a very intimate position, things get a little tense!

txt

soobin

a special night by @gyuluster | f

-  an intimate insight on the first night of choi soobin’s wedding, consisting of kitchen floors, witches and an eternity of love.

boughs & branches by @jeogiyall | f 

-  decorating the tree with boyfriend! choi soobin from txt! fluffity fluff fluff with a lot of cute fluff thrown in and a dash of christmastime fluff. 

sleepy binnie by @immabiteyou | s

-  “i’ll let you do anything if you just touch me now. “ a sleepy soobin smut.

cake by @immabiteyou | s

- reading waiting for mc soobin with the guys. a cute fluffy smut moment.

kpop oc/s

seri by @ggukkiedae

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

[evqnbuckley]

Chapter 1: Hopeless

Okay so i wrote my thoughts on what I wanted the finale to be and this got out of hand...this is like almost if not 6k and i’m not even finished. If this is popular enough I’ll continue to post on here but I’m gonna continue to update on ao3! @princesscas

Sam awakens from his nightmare, disoriented. The visions of seeing himself grow old, having a family and dying feel all too real. The beginning of his nightmare is fading and somewhat fuzzy but he remembers Dean making an appearance. He remembers seeing himself fight alongside his brother, killing some vampires, a normal hunt. Then his memory clears and the image of his brother impaled against a wooden pole catches his breath.

He wipes a hand across his face, trying to erase the images of Dean saying goodbye, of Dean's hand dropping as he took his last breath, and the image of lighting his own brother's pyre.

Sam pulls the covers off and walks toward the kitchen for a glass of water. The bunker is quiet, peaceful even. He still hasn't gotten used to calling it home, not really. The thing about a home is, four walls don't constitute it. Family is similar. It's not based on who you're related to but who loves you and has your back. Family, a home, whatever they are things you build around you. He had learned that long ago.

The wooden floors creak as he walks through the library. The silence is deafening yet comforting. It's a reminder that, for once, the world isn't ending. The linoleum sends shivers down his spine as he enters the kitchen. Sam replays the nightmare in his head while he downs a glass of water from the sink. The images slowly become distorted and misplaced in his memory. He eventually cannot picture it in his mind.

Sighing, Sam places the glass in the sink and walks back to his room. His feet make a pit-pat noise, approaching the hallway. Dean's door is cracked open slightly with faint light seeping through. Sam turns toward the door and peers in. His face softens, taking in the scene. Dean is cuddling a pillow adorned with a worn, rough, blue pillow case. The light emits from a lone lamp on his desk. Some type of paper for a mechanic position sits atop a few books from the library. Sam eyes the paperwork, puzzled. Dean never told me he got a job. Underneath, one of the books has a bookmark in three different places. There are a few crumpled up papers on and around the floor. Sam picks one up and unravels it.

Cas I know you're in the empty and you probably can't hear me….why did you do it? Why didn't you tell me about the deal before? I know I messed up and Billie was about to kill us both but….we could have died together found another way.

Why didn't you tell me?

Sam picks up another one. This time it's the one closest to the trash can. The markings are a bit sharper than the paper before. Almost more angry. It appears some words are smudged but still legible.

I try to move on and put on a brave face for Sammy. He needs to know now that Chuck is gone we can move on. We have to. I have tried to find a way to bring you back Cas. None of the books are fucking useful. I can't read Enochian. I don't even know if Enochian text is the key to saving you. I've tried contacting Rowena but i think she's busy. I'm at my wits end. I haven't gotten much sleep to be honest. As I'm writing this I have looked through 28 books all based on portals to other dimensions, hell, sacrificial rituals and reverse rituals. Even Astral projecting. I don't know what to do….

Sam swallows past the dry lump caught in his throat. He glances at Dean, making sure he's still asleep. Dean briefly shifts, pulling the pillow closer. Sam relaxes and picks up one more crumpled up paper. This one appears fresh, as if Dean wrote it tonight.

I tried praying to the angels. They didn't listen. No one is listening. Jack isn't even listening. He took himself out of the story, I know but this is you I'm talking about. How can he just sit by while you're suffering. I guess I'm on my own.

Why did you say that now?

The last sentence confuses Sam. He burrows his eyebrows as he studies the three entries. Dean is searching for a way to save Cas. To bring him back. And he didn't tell me? Sam quietly crunches the papers back up and places them back where he found them. Dean doesn't move. As Sam switches the lamp off, he feels the heaviness of the dark engulf him. I have to talk to Dean tomorrow.

Dean rolls over as the aroma of burnt bacon fills his room. He rubs the sleep from his eyes as he sits up. Realizing that Sam is about to burn the bunker down, he slips on his robe and jogs to the kitchen.

"What the hell are you doing in my kitchen?"

"Well good morning to you too," Sam replies a bit offended. He's flipping bacon as Dean yanks the tongs out of his grip. "What- I am making breakfast. Can I not make breakfast?"

"I don't know what you think you're making but it definitely, definitely ain't breakfast," Dean smarts. He trashes the burnt bacon and starts a new batch. "Sit. No, why don't you make some coffee."

"Already did. Here ya go," Sam slides Dean's mug across the island, "your highness," Sam says under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yeah, me too," Sam perks up. "I think I found something that screams our kinda thing. We should head there after we eat breakfast. It's not too long of a drive." Dean finishes as he places the cooked bacon on some paper towels and grins from ear to ear. Sam just watches as his brother starts on some scrambled eggs. This might be more challenging than I had hoped.  

"So when you said our sorta thing you meant pie?"

"I meant pie," Dean confirms with a satisfied smirk. "Now, I'm gonna go eat me some of that pie."

"Didn't we-Dean we just had breakfa- nevermind," Sam gives in and follows Dean through the crowd.

Several families are participating in the pie fest. Some are gearing up to find out who can eat the most pie, who makes the best pumpkin pie, and some are just making whip cream pies and pieing each other. Sam observes those around him with a small smile. A life he desperately wants someday but knows he can't have. Or can I?

Dean approaches Sam with a big box and almost runs into some bystander. "Hey, watch it."

"What is that?" Sam raises an eyebrow.

"I couldn't pick just one! Come on, Sammy we're at a pie fest. What do you take me for?"

"An idiot."

Dean ponders his answer and let's it slide. He picks up one of the pies and offers it to his brother. Sam declines. "Dude, you gotta at least try it."

"No, really I'm good."

"Alright, what is it? What's got you so down today?"

"Nothing. I'm fine," Sam replies.

"No, see I know my baby brother. So I know that is your sad Sam face. Fess up, what's wrong?"

"I'm not-" Sam begins, but Dean gives him a look.

"I don't know. I'm just thinking about Cas, about Jack."

Dean's expression falls. He looks down and places the pie back in its spot. "Yea me too. I think about them too. Every day. But we have to move on, Sam. Live our lives. Or else that sacrifice, it will all be for nothing," Dean looks at Sam. "So help me finish this pie."

Dean reaches down for the same pie again but his face is met with a cold surface. Sam smothers the pumpkin pie in Dean's face, laughing. "You know what, I do feel better!"

Sam shakes his hand to free the whip cream, watching Dean rake the remainder of the pie off his chin with his fork. Suddenly, Sam's temples begin pulsing painfully and he has an immense sense of deja vu. His smile falters and he feels out of place. Almost, as if he's reliving this moment. It's similar to the feeling he had this morning.

"Hey, Sam. You okay?"

"Uh, yeah." He's not honestly sure if everything is okay.

Sam texts Eileen and tells her he wants to make up for the date they missed months ago. She agrees it has been too long and tonight would work for her. Sam doesn't want to make promises, as the day is still young, but they plan for their date tonight at 7. Dean teases Sam about it even though the two are already a couple. Saying things like, "don't do anything I wouldn't do" or "make sure you use protection." Sam just sighs and shakes his head.

It's 6:35 pm and nothing has come across the wire. Social media is quiet, so Sam texts Eileen that the date is a go. She replies five minutes later, ready to go and excited to see Sam. Dean offers to let Sam take the Impala out to pick Eileen up. For once in a long time, Sam is excited. When he reaches the garage door, Sam glances back at his brother and sees him nursing a brand new whiskey bottle. Sam frowns at the sight. Dean deserves to feel excited, to be happy. Sam will go on this date with Eileen, tell her about Cas, and they will come back to help Dean. Help Dean get his best friend back. Our best friend back .

Dean waves his brother off and slumps into the chair in the library. It's not very comfortable. In fact, the wooden back is digging into his thoracic spine and causing some pain. But it's better than the alternative. The alternative of thinking about what he's lost, who he's lost, and how he lost them. That pain will never go away. Right now I can focus on this acute pain and center my thoughts on it. Keep myself from sinking into the dark hole of nothing I've been trying to climb out of since I lost - since I lost

Dean finishes the whiskey bottle before Sam gets home and he's still not drunk enough. He rises from the chair and walks to the liquor cart. All the bottles are half empty or nothing but drops of whiskey, gathering at the bottom of the glass. He picks up one empty glass bottle and stares at it for several moments. His vision becomes distorted from the small glass textures, his left ear begins to ring from the silence as he falls into a trance like state. Then, a glint of sapphire reflects in the textured glass. It catches his eye; Dean swallows. Suddenly, he's thinking of Castiel. Cas. He's thinking of "I love you's" and "Goodbye, Dean" and black goo. He's thinking of how the image of his best friend disappearing into a black mass of nothing is seared in his memory forever. He's thinking of how he didn't get to say goodbye, or anything really, and now he never will.

He grimaces at the bottle, squeezes the neck so hard his knuckles blanche, and throws it across the room, into the kitchen. It lands by the island, shattering to pieces, with a deafening crash. Dean feels his eyes burning and hot tears gathering at the corners. Before he realizes, Dean is grabbing all the glass bottles and throwing them into the kitchen. In his fit of rage, Dean throws one bottle too high and it shatters against the side of the kitchen table. Glass spreads across the floor. He doesn't even register the intensity of the mess until one bottle knocks off another, shattering it at his feet. He stops throwing the bottles, breaking from his trance.

"I tried everything! I can't save you! There's nothing left! How could you do this to me, you son of a bitch," Dean cries. He places his hands on either side of his head, thinking. "Jack! How can you just leave us? We need you. Cas needs you! Fuck this all powerful, all knowing God bullshit. We're family!" Dean tosses the cart over. "Isn't that enough?" He pauses and glances around for a moment. Nothing. "Dammit, Jack. Why won't you answer my prayers? I need some help!" He cries out and slowly sits down. "I can't do this on my own," he whispers between his sniffles. He begs over and over again please please please in his head for a few moments. But he's met with silence like every other time. Dean accepts this and wipes his tears away, picks the cart up, grabs the broom and dustpan from the kitchen and picks up his mess. He can't have Sam see what a hypocrite he truly has become.

Dean cuts himself on a few lone pieces of glass, but it's nothing he can't handle. In fact, for a brief moment, the pain gives him something to focus on. He mindlessly watches the crimson slowly drain down the sink as he holds his palm under the running water. He wonders what it feels like to float down the water, through the pipes, through the darkness, into nothing. What is wrong with me? But that's where Cas is right now. A bunch of nothing. Dean grabs a hand towel and wraps it around his left hand before returning to the broom. The kitchen is just about clean. Within about 5 minutes, all the glass and spilled whiskey is gone. Almost as if it never happened. Dean places the broom and dustpan back in the corner and trudges through the hallways.

There is a secret stash of whiskey in his man cave that Dean hid for emergencies. And this constitutes an emergency. He walks to the wall, removes a Star Wars poster from the fifth movie, and pulls out a few bricks, revealing the beautiful brown bottle of Jack Daniel's. Not his favorite but Dean was in a rush when he bought it a couple of weeks ago before they defeated Chuck just in case anything went sideways. Also, in case Sam found his stash at least it wouldn't be his good whiskey. Popping the cap off, Dean takes a long swig as he stumbles toward the couch. Sam should be home soon. I'll be done with this bottle by then and be able to forget anything blue for a while. Except all he dreams of is blue.

Bright blue swirls fill his dreams as he drifts off. He feels immense warmth as the blue wraps around him like a large ribbon and he floats above the grass. The ribbon caresses Dean like a soft, silk cloud, holding him in place. A slight breeze causes the ribbon to ripple in harmony and alternate between hues of blue. The colors circulate between indigo to azure to cobalt to cerulean to teal and finally midnight blue effortlessly. Dean sees dark angels wings above and feels safe. He flies higher as the ribbon ascends toward the wings. Flashes of cerulean eyes skip by, sad and yearning, before Dean is pulled down into dark azure ocean water by the wings. The ribbon of blue dissolves into nothing. Dean feels alone. In dreams, people don't usually have their sense of smell, but Dean swears he smells hints of sandalwood, a campfire, and honey. Then, he sees Castiel materialize before him with his wings extended, long and wide. Beautiful. They're untouched with no sign of rebellion or impurities. Just as Dean had first seen them. Before he met me. Before he rebelled and lost everything for me. I cursed you, Cas. Green eyes lock with blue and Castiel smiles at Dean. Then suddenly, Castiel's wings begin to dissipate and burn away. He appears to scream in pain. Dean reaches out just as soon as the water darkens and swarms around Castiel. He thrashes against the thick water but cannot break free. Dean is frozen in the water and at once cannot breathe. He screams out to Castiel but no sound comes out. He, instead, inhales the water. Castiel disappears within the black, thick water just as soon as he appears. He's gone.

Dean's eyes slowly open. This is a recurring nightmare he's had since Castiel sacrificed himself. Since he left. Dean had hoped the alcohol would impair his subconscious enough to avoid the nightmare. Beer hasn't been strong enough, nor tequila, or vodka. Whiskey is his last resort and apparently it does jack-shit. I need something stronger, if I am to get any sleep. Although the whiskey does not keep the nightmares at bay it does keep him numb. That is enough to continue drinking. He reaches for the bottle and misses. I may be seeing double. After a few tries, Dean successfully retrieves the bottle and downs the remaining third of the whiskey. His head feels heavy and his chest feels hot. Dean can feel his fingers tingling and toes numbing against his socks. This is the sweet spot of feeling drunk, he thinks.

Sam returns from his date, unnoticed, and walks into the room, seeing Dean spread out on the couch. He eyes the empty whiskey bottle on the coffee table and sighs. Sam remembers the other whiskey bottle left on the library table. The same one Dean had been nursing before Sam left. Dean is on a bender again. Eileen shuffles up next to Sam and glances at the couch. She looks at Sam with a sad look. At dinner, he filled her in with everything he knows about Castiel and his sacrifice for Dean. But Eileen didn't realize it would affect Dean this badly. She walks over to Dean and pulls the blanket from on top of the couch and covers Dean. He's passed out again and is slightly twitching. His eyes are racing back and forth.

"We will regroup tomorrow and discuss Plan SOC," Sam whispers while signing.

"I'm still not sure about the code word," Eileen signs with a grimace.

"We'll work on it," he signs with a shrug.

The next morning Dean wakes to his Jack Daniel's replaced with three ibuprofen pills and a glass of water. Grateful, he slowly takes them one at a time due to the agonizing headache. Usually he doesn't have headaches or hangovers but the nightmares don't give him much rest. He really isn't able to sleep off the alcohol. Pressing the heel of his hands into his eyes to push back the headache, Dean sighs with exhaustion. He doesn't even know what time it is. His watch reads 4:32 but Dean is unsure if it's AM or PM.

Suddenly, he feels his stomach growl and Dean realizes he hasn't eaten since about noon today. Yesterday? He sloppily rises up and makes his wake toward the kitchen. Nothing really sounds appetizing except for some string cheese. Only, they don't have string cheese. Of course. So, Dean settles for the two day old pepperoni pizza in the fridge. Not too bad, and he will never say no to pizza. Dean isn't sure how long he was passed out but the effects of the whiskey have certainly worn down a bit. He can't walk a straight line, but his vision is more clear. He clumsily carries the pizza box over to the library table next to his laptop and sits it down. Quietly, he pulls the chair out and takes a seat. The hunter in him wants to make sure everything is quiet out in the world. The clock on his laptop confirms its 4:38 AM.

A few clicks and searches show there's a local mysterious killing. Our kinda thing. Dean smiles, knowing that this case will help keep his mind busy. And he will be able to save someone. At least this way he will feel like his life was worth saving. Ironic. I feel like I've said that before. Why do people feel the need to jump at any chance to save me? I don't deserve saving. Dad sold his soul for me and now Cas. I don't deserve it. He shakes his head and munches down on cold pizza in silence.

Dean finishes the last three slices of pizza, underestimating how hungry he had been. He watches a few dumb YouTube videos for a while, to keep his mind off things, waiting for Sam to wake up. Dean is tempted to grab a beer from the fridge but decides against it. He needs to be as sober as possible for the hunt, for Sam. If Dean were to go alone, he would not care. Not at this moment anyway.

Dean has realized his mood swings are ridiculous lately. At one moment, he's super depressed and doesn't care about anything. He honestly doesn't care if he lives or dies.  The next moment he can't wait to see what life has to offer. It's as if his brain doesn't know how to comprehend what Castiel's sacrifice means to him. His thoughts can become so tangled and incoherent Dean doesn't know how to act - what to say. That's why he started writing down some of his thoughts, and then thought how much of girl that made him and crumpled the papers up. Right now, he can really use a moment to write down his thoughts.

He grabs the notepad and pen on the table and scribbles away. I hate this feeling. What am I supposed to feel? Anger? Sadness? Relief? Emptiness? Frustration? All of the above? Others? You left me with so many unanswered questions and I left you with nothing in return. How am I supposed to go on knowing this? Cas, how can I go minute to minute, hour to hour, knowing what I know now? I fucked up. I had a chance to say what I've been wanting to say for a while and I couldn't. I didn't. Did you even know? I mean do I even fucking know? I can't even hate you to make myself feel better. I can't bring myself to say I hate you for doing this to me. Because I could never hate you. The paper becomes wet with a few tear drops. I will find you, Cas. Just wait for me.

Dean places the pen next to the notepad after a moment. He wipes his nose with his flannel sleeve. Not many tears fell but his nose is running pretty good. Out of all of his thought entries, this one felt the most cathartic. He sometimes pretends that Castiel can hear him read the words to himself or even hear him as Dean writes the words. Just as Castiel heard his prayer in Purgatory. But he doesn't. He won't. The empty is a dark and torturous place. My prayer and words will be the last things he'd focus on.

Dean lays his head on the table from exhaustion, but doesn't shut his eyes. He won't risk falling asleep. Instead, he focuses on counting the books on each shelf to his right. Then, once he's done with those he counts the ones on his left. Dean notices some of these books, he nor Sam even use. He doesn't know half of the content in these books. Unfortunately, Dean underestimated how counting can cause drowsiness no matter the subject at play. His eyes begin to drift when Sam walks in with loud footsteps.

Yawning, Sam says, "What are you doing in here? You should be in bed."

Dean jerks up, shaking his head from thoughts of sleep. "I found us a case," he replies.

"Mhm. Is that all you were looking for during the early morning?" Sam asks, eyeing the covered notepad. Dean notices and quickly turns it over.

"Sam," he warns. "mind your business."

"Good morning," Eileen joins the boys in the library.

Dean isn't too surprised to see her here but is happy for Sam nonetheless. "Morning, Eileen. I hope sasquatch here didn't take up the whole bed."

Eileen blushes and laughs at Dean. "I don't kiss and tell," she winks at Sam as she kisses him on the cheek. "Who wants breakfast?"

"Yes, please!" Sam signs.

Sam joins Dean at the table and a long beat passes between them. Sounds in the kitchen of water running, the clinking of plates, and banging of pans fill the silence instead. Dean repositions himself in the chair, still not making eye contact with Sam. Sam, however, is studying Dean. He appears disheveled, bags under his eyes, day old stubble and crust around his lips from dried whiskey. He's a wreck.

"So this case-" "We need to talk-" They start simultaneously.

Dean glances up for the first time. "You first."

"I know about Cas." Dean's eyes widen slightly. "At least I know there's more to the story. You didn't tell me everything and I know whatever happened is eating away at you." Dean gestures to dismiss Sam. "Dean, I know you. I can see it. I know when you get like this it's because of something close to you." Sam pauses. "I also read some of your crumpled up papers." A dark look crosses Dean's face. Almost like he wants to punch Sam.

"You did what?" Dean says.

Sam continues, ignoring Dean's comment. "I know you're trying to bring Cas back. I want to help," Sam offers.

Dean sighs, looking to the side. He knows the many dead ends and how disappointing it is trying to save Cas. He doesn't want to subject his brother to the very same thing. "It's no use, Sam. Everything is a dead end. I've tried everything I can think of. Cas is gone," Dean resigns, defeated. "All we can do now is save people, hunt things, and live our lives. It's what Cas would want. It's what everyone, who we have lost, would want."

"Dean," Sam starts. "You're giving up way too easily. There is always another way. Don't you always say that?" Dean doesn't respond. "I know how it may seem hopeless but we have options. We have the resources to continue the search to save him. You can't give up now, Dean. This is Cas."

"I've tried everything I can think of, Sam. Everything! Praying, research, calling Rowena. She doesn't answer. Jack is off grid. I've tried! There's nothing. He's gone!" Dean's voice cracks. He swallows down the pain. "We have to accept that. And however I deal with it is my business. So don't give me those judgy eyes like you are now." Dean says pointedly.

"But, Dean-"

"I said no Sam."

Dean gets up, signaling he's done with this conversation and takes the notepad with him. He doesn't even acknowledge Eileen as she brings breakfast to the library. "The case is pulled up on my laptop. I'm going to get ready." Dean turns the corner and is gone before Sam can reply.

Eileen's face falls as she holds a plate of french toast, bacon, sausage, and lots of syrup. Then one plate of regular scrambled eggs with toast for Sam. She sits the plates on the table and watches Dean leave. "Is he not hungry? I made his favorite." She says.  

"It's not that, he's dealing with some, he's just-" Sam doesn't seem to know how to finish his sentence, or fully explain his brother's behavior.

"Cas?" Eileen offers. Sam nods.

Sam reads the case on Dean's laptop and begins to feel nauseated. He has a bad feeling. He, again, has a sense of deja vu. Two days in a row, it can't be a coincidence. It's like there is an itch at the back of his brain, crawling to the surface, wanting to show him something. He feels a headache come on and the pain is similar to when he used to get visions as a young adult. The pain grows stronger as the itch continues, pulling toward his frontal lobe.

Then, a flash of images of Sam and Dean dressed in their normal FBI threads quickly blink by. Another image of them at an abandoned barn fighting some strange, masked creatures. Sam recognizes the mask from Dad's journal. And then a burst of images, showing Sam and Dean fighting these creatures appear. They're vampires! The brothers are winning, slicing the vamp's heads off one after another. The last image shows Dean pushed against something sharp and… Oh no, Dean Sam thinks.

He grabs his head and shakes the images away. Groaning in pain, he sees he's on the floor. He must have fallen while the vision took over. Eileen is at his side, freaked out. She's signing, "Are you okay?" over and over again.

Slowly, Sam regains his thoughts and tells Eileen he's okay. Dean rushes by Sam's side by this point after hearing the loud thud from his fall. Dean places his hand on Sam's shoulder, in concern.

"Dude, what the hell happened? Say something. You alright?" Dean glances over Sam, and around the bunker, checking for any intruders.

"Yea, yea. I'm fine. I feel like I just got hit by a freight train. Like how my visions used to feel." He pauses. "I actually think I just had a vision." Sam looks at Dean with bewilderment and Dean returns the look.

"I'm sorry. Did you just say you had a vision?"

"Yea." Sam breathes.

"You haven't had one of those since you were like in your twenties and yellow eyes was after you. Why the fuck now?"

"I-I don't know. I thought it was a nightmare, but last night the same images played in my mind. I went all day yesterday feeling a sense of deja vu. The pie fest, reading the case, even eating breakfast."

All three are silent for quite a while. Their breakfast grows cold but no one pays it any mind. "What if it's a sign?" Eileen questions.

"Like from God, uh, Jack?" Sam offers.

Dean huffs in response. He knows damn good and well Jack is staying out of everyone's business. There isn't any possibility Jack is interfering. "I doubt it."

"It's possible," says Sam. "Maybe he has taken himself out of the narrative, but what if he's helping us still by guiding us through this vision?"

"He hasn't answered any of my damn prayers since two months ago. Why would he start now?"

"I don't know, change of heart?" Sam offers, half-heartedly.

Dean stands and laughs with a bitter shake of his head. "You honestly believe that? Come on, Sam. The kid has a new sense of almighty. We, you, me and Cas, we are now left in the dust. He said so himself. You're just having some freak migraine."

Sam stands, with Eileen in tow. She helps him up by the arm. "You're wrong. I know he's not like Chuck, and stays away, but he still cares. I know he sent me this vision to help us. All of us," Sam stares at Dean's glare of hopelessness. "I have faith, Dean."

"How can you be so sure? How can you be so positive that this is from Jack and he's trying to help us? Doesn't make a lot of sense that out of all the times I've asked for his help, to save Cas, or help me bring him back, he's now warning you of an ordinary hunt?" Dean says frustrated.

"Because in this hunt you die, Dean," Sam blurts out. Dean stays quiet. "You die and I have to go on without you. You leave me and I have to live a life without my brother."

Dean's gaze falls to the floor. He's quiet for a moment, processing this information. "You live a happy life?" He barely says.

"What?"

"After I die, do you go on having the whole white picket fence, apple pie life with the 2.5 kids?" Dean clarifies, calmly.

Sam searches Dean's face for any kind of sign of self actualization or will to live. "Why does it matter? I can still strive for that with you alive. We both can," he adds.

Dean smiles, that tired, sad smile. "No, Sammy. You and I both know as long as I'm alive you will always be in this life." He looks at Eileen. "You two will never have a chance at a happy, normal life with me around. Besides, hunting is what I do. There is nothing else for me. Not anymore.”

"That's not true," Eileen says, with tears in her eyes. She reaches out and places her hand on Dean's cheek, pleading for him to understand how wrong he is.

"It is. I'm the one that dragged you back into this life, Sam. I'm the only one keeping you here. Let me give you an out."

"Stop. Okay just stop. We are not going on this hunt. If you want to be suicidal, fine, but I'm keeping you out of danger. You are always so quick to jump in front of a gun or blade. Do you still care that little about yourself, Dean?" Sam searches his brother's eyes. "What about that job paperwork on your desk? You must have cared at some point. Wanted to live!" Dean is quiet. Sam sighs. "Cas wouldn't want you to die. He died to save you, remember? So, what I am going to do is bring Cas back. Are you going to help me?"

Dean ponders Sam's offer for a moment. "What about the people that will die, if we don't save them?"

"I'll call some hunters and give them a heads up on what to look out for when they go there. It'll be taken care of," Sam reassures.

Dean glances between Eileen and Sam. Fiddling with a loose string on the end of his flannel sleeve, he sighs. On one hand, he'd love to see Castiel again. He'd do anything- to hug him and tell him all the things he didn't get to say. But on the other hand, he's so tired. So very tired. There are no leads. And he's lost all faith in his search to save Castiel.

"Dean?" Sam starts.

"Okay. Let's bring Cas home."

[cloudselkie]

Ooooo, enhanced (orange) severe weather threat today around here.

It's so fucked up that I am excited, but I am excited.

I've included today's convective outlook from the Storm Prediction Center below. I've made a few notes, these can be found in [brackets] within the text, and also included a link to the Mesoscale Discussion for Tornado Watch 116.

SPC AC 281246

Day 1 Convective Outlook

NWS Storm Prediction Center Norman OK

0746 AM CDT Wed Apr 28 2021

Valid 281300Z - 291200Z

...THERE IS AN ENHANCED RISK OF SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS OVER PARTS OF SOUTHWEST TO NORTH-CENTRAL TEXAS...

...THERE IS A SLIGHT RISK OF SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS SURROUNDING THE ENHANCED RISK

...AND ALSO OVER PARTS OF THE LOWER GREAT LAKES REGION...

...SUMMARY...

Severe thunderstorms are possible across parts of the southern plains to southwest Texas this afternoon and evening. Other severe storms may develop in parts of the lower Great Lakes region. In both areas, the most intense thunderstorms may produce large hail and wind damage. A tornado threat also may develop in the southern plains and southwest Texas.

...Synopsis...

A synoptic-scale split-flow pattern will dominate mid/upper levels over most of the CONUS, with a through-cutting northern stream from the Canadian Rockies across the northern Plains, Great Lakes and Northeast. A strong, positively tilted trough is evident from the central High Plains through a cyclone over AZ and across central Baja. The cyclone should shift eastward to eastern NM and far west TX through the period, with the trough extending from KS across northwestern MX. Downstream, a shortwave trough -- apparent in moisture-channel imagery over the upper Mississippi Valley region -- will cross the upper Great Lakes region through midday, penetrating the mean ridge, then crossing the lower Great Lakes and northern/inland Mid-Atlantic midday through afternoon, with some deamplification.

At the surface, 11Z analysis showed weak lows near BGM, MKG and RFD, along a wavy/quasistationary frontal zone. A cold front extended from the northern IL low across northern MO, south-central KS, the TX Panhandle, and central NM. A dryline extended from the front over the Panhandle southward across the Permian Basin to eastern Big Bend region. That segment of the front from MO across the southern plains is forecast to make a net southeastward shift through the period, while moving more slowly/erratically east of the Mississippi River. By 00Z [7 PM CDT], the front should be located across western NY, the Lake Erie area, northern portions of IN/IL, western MO, southwestern OK, and the Permian Basin region. From north-south, the front will slowly overtake both the dryline and a prefrontal convective boundary discussed below.

...Southern Plains to Southwest TX...

A broken and episodic belt of thunderstorms is expected through much of the period from the Ozarks region across OK to southwest TX. See tornado watch 116 and latest mesoscale discussion (446 at outlook time) for near-term guidance.

The greatest overall severe threat and most-favorable parameter space should develop this afternoon and evening from north TX to the Rio Grande Valley near DRT. In that corridor, a few tornadoes are possible, along with large hail and damaging winds. Some of the hail be significant (2 inches or larger diameter), especially in the Rio Grande to southern Hill Country area, where very deep, well- organized supercells are possible with hailstones to near 4 inches in diameter.

An outflow/convergence boundary, much of which still had reinforcing convection to its west, was analyzed from northwestern AR across east-central/south-central OK and north-central TX (west of the Metroplex [Dallas-Fort Worth and surrounding counties]), north of SJT and near OZA and 6R6. Some westward/northwestward retreat of the activity/outflow boundary is probable today, especially during mesoscale spatiotemporal lulls in convection to its west. Increasing large-scale ascent and mass response to the approaching mid/upper cyclone indicate an enhanced severe threat today across this region -- both near the boundary and with more unconditional potential for late-afternoon/evening supercell development moving out of the Serranias del Burro region and across the Rio Grande. Low-level lift and vorticity should be maximized near the boundary, locally enlarging hodographs within an already favorable broader-scale CAPE/shear regime for supercells. Diurnal heating along and east of the boundary, rich low-level moisture (surface dew points commonly upper 60s to low 70s F and 1.5- to 2-inch PW), and steep midlevel lapse rates, will support MLCAPE from 1500-2500 J/kg over north TX to 22000-3000 J/kg over the Hill Country and Rio Grande -- all amidst 50-60-kt effective-shear magnitudes. Though with weaker moisture and deep shear, steep midlevel lapse rates and at least marginal CAPE will support severe hail and perhaps gusts or a tornado possible this afternoon and evening with convection developing on either side of the cold front (west of the warm-sector boundary activity) over OK and northwest TX.

...Lower Great Lakes region...

Widely scattered to scattered thunderstorms should develop this afternoon and this evening along and south of the front, offering sporadic large hail and damaging gusts. The deep-layer environment should destabilize and become buoyant fairly rapidly during midday and into the afternoon as these processes occur essentially simultaneously:

1. Moisture/theta-e advection from the southwest and west-southwest, contributing to surface dew points increasing into the 50s to locally near 60 F;

2. Increasing large-scale ascent and lapse rates aloft ahead of the approaching Great Lakes mid/upper perturbation;

3. Diurnal heating and related steepening of boundary-layer lapse rates. Some mixing associated with this process may offset moist advection enough to slow the dew-point increase; still, MLCINH still should be reduced to near zero in much of the area such that only weak lift from the front, lake boundaries or orographic forcing will be needed to initiate convection.

Accordingly modified model soundings indicate a deeply buoyant layer with 500-1200 J/kg peak/preconvective MLCAPE. A dominant westerly surface component will limit low-level shear and keep hodographs small, though mid/upper-level winds will be strong enough to support effective-shear magnitudes commonly in the 35-45-kt range. This will support mixed modes, with multicells, a few supercells and small bows possible. The threat should wane during mid/late evening as nocturnal cooling/low-level stabilization offset advective processes in reducing buoyancy.

...Mid Mississippi Valley/lower Ohio Valley...

Scattered thunderstorms are expected to develop predominantly south of the front through the evening hours, offering at least a marginal damaging-gust and large-hail threat. A tornado cannot be ruled out as well, with storm- to mesobeta-scale processes being the maindeterminant. This activity will be supported by a broad plume of low-level warm and moist advection, and diurnally weakened MLCINH in preconvective areas, away from the northeastern rim of the southern plains EML. Surface dewpoints in the 60s F already are common across this corridor and should remain so, supporting areas of 1000-1500 J/kg MLCAPE -- locally/briefly higher this afternoon. 40-50-kt effective-shear magnitudes should become common as the buoyant layer deepens into stronger flow aloft.

Parts of this region my realize a greater severe threat than the "marginal" probabilities currently depicted, conditional on sufficient organization and upscale/cold-pool growth of any thunderstorm clusters that can develop. If so, unconditional wind probabilities in particular may need a boost in a succeeding update, as mesoscale convective/environmental trends warrant.

..Edwards/Jewell.. 04/28/2021

[kessielrg]

[Mega Man X AU] Follow Me

Summary: After Axl breaks a promise with Aero to help fix her car, they instead go to a trampoline park to, in his words, 'fly above their worries'. Aero doesn't buy it, but Axl's hard to say no to. [oneshot]

Rating: T (for swearing)

Word Count: 2,419 words

If you like this story, please reblog!

---

Aero hated the summer heat; especially when she had to work on a broken transmission for her car in said heat. She was smart enough to leave out a jug of water beside her tools, but it was so hot out that it wasn't even cool anymore. The only thing she had to keep her company -and to drown out her numerous curses- was a portable radio, tuned to a station that played mostly mainstream music.

During some song with an exceedingly repetitive chorus, Aero took a small break from wrecking her car further to take a swing from her water jug. Savoring what she could from the lukewarm liquid, Aero found herself checking her watch for the time. A full hour had passed since she started this futile mission- she was a computer science nerd for God's sake, not a car nerd. Maybe if she was less frugal, she could have taken it to an actual dealership, but that was just the thing: she wasn't supposed to start this alone. Axl, who could hot-wire a car in his sleep and once worked on other (similarly shady) car related activities as a side job, had promised to help her. But, as obvious circumstances could show, he never showed up.

Taking another swing from her water jug, Aero looked back at her transmission and decided she was done for the day. No matter how much she needed her car, a heatstroke wasn't going to go over well for her health either. When Aero entered her home, she almost fainted from the cool air as it instantly covered her body like a well dosed drug. She just barely managed to stumble to the couch and flopped herself down. Aero might have even passed out for a few moments before coming to again- she felt groggy enough that she wondered if she did. Too lazy to go to the kitchen to actually drink something cold, Aero reached over on the coffee table for her phone.

Surprise, surprise: Axl had texted her when she had been working on her car. None of them pertained to his broken promise though.

Axl, 12:32 PM: Zero's laying the insults thick on you today so of course I defended your honor.

Axl, 12:34 PM: called him goldilocks twice just for you

Axl, 12:35 PM: your welcome btw

Okay, so she had to snort at that, but that didn't mean she wasn't still angry at him.

Aero, 1:22 PM: fuck you

Axl, 1:24 PM: okay

Axl, 1:24 PM: so I know I deserved that somewhere along the line today

Axl, 1:25 PM: but what did I do now?

Aero, 1:26 PM: one word loser: transmission

It didn't even take a minute after that Aero got a call from Axl himself. She answered it, but said nothing- as if the dark glare she was giving could radiate through the phone. It seemed to have worked, because once Axl realized she had picked up, he immediately said,

“Aero, I swear I didn't forget to help you.”

“Bitch you lie.” Aero hissed without skipping a beat.

“Yeah, okay, I absolutely am.” Axl sheepishly admitted. “And I'm totally sorry for it! What can I do to make it up for you Breezy? I swear I'll do whatever you want.”

To this, Aero cocked an eyebrow of interest.

“So when I get heatstroke?”

“I'll carry you to the hospital.”

“And when I get a sunburn so bad that I'll cry because I can't sleep or move because it hurts too much?”

“I'll rub aloe on you so gentle and smooth that X and Zero will be jealous.”

“And the outrageous bill the dealership's gonna give me to fix that damn transmission?”

For this, Axl hesitated. Aero found herself amused at this silence and found herself smirking at the challenge.

“I'm waiting.” she reminded him.

It was quite a bit of time before Axl quietly suggested, “I'll help take it to the dealership...”

“Like hell you will.” Aero snorted in return.

“And we'll go some place too while we wait.”

“Oh will we now?” the young woman mused. “And where would that be?”

“It's a secret.” came the cheeky answer. “Just get ready tomorrow and I'll take it from there.”

“You better not be lying to me, loser.” Aero hissed.

“Yeah, yeah. Be ready by noon- I've got plans to make!” Axl returned before hanging up the phone. For a moment, Aero just looked at her phone before letting out a deep sigh. Whatever Axl had planned, it sure was going to be… something: he always had better ideas than in ways on how to execute them. Knowing him, Aero was almost certain that it wasn't going to be as simple as going to a diner or watching a movie. Letting out another sigh that signaled the start of a headache, Aero started to dial X's number to talk about the situation.

. . .

It was just as hot the next day, so Aero waited for Axl inside her house. He didn't bother to show up until a little after eleven with his orange truck. Just to spite him, Aero still waited in her house as Axl attached her car to his truck's ball hitch and she still didn't come out when he waved to her- signaling that he was ready for her to come out. When he realized that she wasn't going to come out, Axl gave a small sigh before making his way to her door. Even after he rung her doorbell, Aero still waited a few moments before going to answer it.

When Aero swung her door open, the blast of hot air from outside greeted the cool air inside her house. Standing at the door was Axl with a sheepish hand behind his head.

“Still mad, huh?” he chuckled.

“Just slightly.” Aero mused with a smart little grin. She leaned against her doorframe before proceeding to ask, “Are you going to bother to tell me where we're going today?”

To this, Axl gave a wide smile of his own. “'Course not!” he proudly declared. “You're going in blind after we drop your car off.”

“Lucky me.” Aero snorted.

She should have known right then and there that Axl had something horrible planned. But for some reason she did not, so the duo walked to his truck and got inside. There was not much for the two to talk about on the drive to the dealership. Aero did give Axl some flack for when she got back into his truck after leaving her car behind. But they were back on the road again to wherever Axl planned to surprise her just as quickly.

Axl's truck was just old enough to still have a cassette player attached to its stereo. Some years back he had made a mix tape filled with songs that he knew Aero liked, and right now he had purposely stuck it in the player for them to listen to. Admittedly, it was rather relaxing as Aero looked out the window, watching as various scenery flew past them. It was when she noted a particular sign that a flare of suspicion shot through her body.

'Circus Man's Trampoline Park: Just a Mile Away!'

She should have asked Axl about it right then and there, but she didn't. She liked to pretend to give him the benefit of the doubt every now and again. But the feeling that this was exactly where Axl was taking her did not go away. Her eyebrows furrowed deeper as the path to the trampoline park became more obvious. She waited until Axl made a turn at the entrance that she finally gave him a glare that had been growing for the past few minutes.

“You're joking.” Aero demanded. He turned to look at her for a moment with a rather cheeky grin. It only fueled her annoyance more. “You have got to be fucking joking me Axl!”

“Where else are you going to fly above your worries, Breezy?” he said back, as if it were as simple as day.

“You ass!!” she indignantly hollered before making slightly aggressive punches to his face.

“Wait 'til I'm parked, wait until I'm parked Breezy!” Axl shouted back, trying to dodge and fend her off with one hand and trying to steer into the parking lot with the other. When he had the truck properly parked, he remained in his seat as Aero continued to hit him. She didn't seem to realize that they had parked for a moment, and when she did, she paused her assault to unbuckle.

“First you forget to help me with my transmission,” she spat at him, listing each offense off with her fingers, “Then make me pay the full bill at the dealership, and now you try to make it up by taking me to the fucking trampoline park?!”

“Well, when you phrase it like that...” Axl mused as he started to unbuckle as well.

“Axl, I'm going to murder you!” Aero screamed once more as she started to hit him again.

It was her fighting spirit that Axl liked the most about her. Not all girls could hold a grudge like this, and that truly made Aero one of a kind.

. . .

“I'll play popcorn if you don't attempt to have some fun.”

“Try me.”

Between the two of them, there were no adults. Axl was still obviously a child in some regards, and in moments when Aero would curl herself into a ball of annoyance while Axl jumped around her, it became clear that neither of them acted their age.

“Alright Breezy, you asked for it!” Axl decided as he started to bounce a bit more purposely. “Get ready to be popped!”

He only gave Aero time to give a grunt before he started to bounce around her. Despite her body starting to gain momentum in bouncing from Axl's jumps, Aero remained in her ball of annoyance for quite a while. It was when Axl almost tripped over her that Aero came out of her little ball to protect her face from Axl's foot.

“You can not stop the popcorn master!” Axl proudly declared, even flexing his muscles for the fun of it. After enjoying his hubris for a moment, he offered a hand to Aero to help her up. She looked up at it for a moment before giving him a smirk.

“Such a gentleman.” she mused as she accepted his hand.

“You know it!” he agreed with a wide grin. Aero only shook her head in playful exasperation. Axl admired her for a moment before suddenly getting an idea. “Come on,” he told her, taking her hand without permission, “Let's go throw ourselves off the wall! It'll be great!”

“Axl, wai-” Aero tried to say but didn't have the chance to finish as Axl pulled her along. It was honestly kinda hard to keep up as Axl almost ran on the trampolines like he learned how to walk on them. Aero barely had time to give Axl warning as she lost her balance. All Axl knew was that Aero let out a yelp of surprise, then the two of them were careening to the side. Aero ended up falling almost directly on her back with Axl on top of her. With the wind knocked out of both of them, the duo could only stare at each other in bewilderment.

Axl would have recovered sooner had he not stared into Aero's dark brown eyes.

“Admit it,” Axl then cheekily told her with a smirk. “You wanted to make out with me for half a second.”

“Get a load of yourself.” Aero snorted in return, pushing Axl off her. Axl remained where he was and laughed as Aero started to get up and brush herself off. From his lower position, he still caught himself admiring her as Aero fluffed her hair a bit.

Speaking a thought, he carefully said to her, “You know, I don't get the way X treats you, Breezy. I mean, he talks about you like he likes you a lot, but he normally never really acts like it. He doesn't buy you dinner, he won't lead you on, he just… acts like he's talking to another friend with you. Doesn't that bug you?”

“Does X have to flirt with me to show he likes me?” Aero questioned, looking at Axl with a raise of her eyebrow. “There are different love languages, Axl.”

“And X speaks nothing but gibberish.” her friend retorted with a bitter snort. He worked himself up with a grunt so he could give Aero proper eye contact. “Aero, please, I've been crushing on you for so long that I'm practically dust by now. Let X go. He's not interested in you.”

For a moment, Aero didn't know whether to agree with him or call him out for acting desperate. Her hesitation was evident on her face as well. Seeing it made Axl deflate a little.

“I'm gonna go jump off one of the platforms, then.” he said to her with a sullen sigh. “Don't wait up for me.”

“Axl, I-”

“Don't utter a thing,” he said, cutting her off with a rather dramatic raise of his hand. “I already know what you're going to say. 'Axl, I'm just not interested in you. X is the only one I trust enough to love like that after it happened. I like you, just not like that. Maybe in the next life. It's not you, it's me...'”

“Well, you downer,” Aero mused as she put a hand on her hip, “I was going to say that I had a fun time today. Even though you did jack squat in regards to my car. But if you want to turn this into a rejection moment, then by all means.”

Axl immediately perked up as he looked back over at her. “So I still have a shot?”

“Don't think I said that.”

“Don't think you're refuting it either.”

Aero shifted her weight to the side while Axl continued to give her a wide, cheeky grin.

“Let's race over to the other end of the room.” Axl happily suggested. “If you lose, you and I are going on a proper date. On the count of three; one...”

“I don't think I agreed to-”

“Three!” Axl merrily declared before jumping back onto the trampolines and starting to sprint away. Aero took a moment to laugh at him before making her way back onto the trampolines as well.

[imagines-to-quench-thirst]

Cabin fever: Victor Creed (NSFW)

Anon: Victor Creed lives in the woods. Reader after taking a walk in the woods gets lead into Victor cabin and becomes his pet of sorts. He teaches reader his rules for living with him and the reader breaks them. Smut maybe

Anon I hope you like it I did sprinkle in some smut at the end but ended it in a more humorous way. Enjoy!

Warnings: some swearing maybe 4 times.

Tuesday 12:39 am

-Victor, come in. Report your location.

Wednesday 6:55 am

-Victor, pick up.

Thursday 10:47 pm

-Victor, please pick up. We... I miss you.

Friday 8:34 am

-Fine, be then like that!

Friday 8:35 am

-Sorry for leaving my previous message but I'm angry because I miss you. Please call me back.

Clicking the delete messages button Victor leaned back against his couch looking out of his window. Seeing the vast and lonely forest with him in the center of it, far away from people, mutants, the X-men and Y/n. Looking at the wind rustling the leaves he wanted just to leave this pace all together but he couldn't not after what he did.

At the beginning, of the forest was Y/n holding her bag on her shoulder feeling the cold air breeze against her as she felt her skin tighten against the cold atmosphere. Stepping her foot in she looks at the far distance seeing nothing but kilometers of trees and the lonely atmosphere. Watching her step carefully she looks up for a moment hearing a branch break as her leading foot steps into something sluggish. Looking down she sees a deer corpse with her foot in its open degrading belly as flys and maggots ate the meat.

With the quick realization of her stance, she hops over the deer as her bodied foot is scraping against the moss of the nearby tree. As her mind focused on the wiping another branch snaps but this time behind her. Feeling an ominous presence behind her back she grabs her gun turning and pointing it at...

-Victor!

Y/n yelps surprised as she lowers the gun seeing his feature comply change. His hair a little longer his beard unkempt and his eyes accompanied with large dark circles.

With no word said he grabs her hand yanking her into his cabin. She didn't yell or pull away but was very much relieved seeing him alive and well. Shutting the door Victor let's Y/n stumble into the warm home seeing the opened cans that littered the place. She turns around to face Victor.

-Why didn't you respond to my messages?

-I don't have to.

-Bullshit. I will bet you everything I have that you heard my messages, all of them.

Victor tenses as her tone seeing her tired face.

-...Sorry...

He replies as he passes her plopping on the couch. The wind picks up its pace the house shaking with each blow.

-I wouldn't go out if I were you. Not in this weather.

Deeply sighing Y/n walks to Victor sitting next to him.

-Why didn't you answer?

Victor responds coldly

-Rule 1: when in my house you don't ask a question. You will only talk when spoken to.

Y/n jerks her head at the statement looking at him like he lost all sense in the world.

-Excuse me?! I'm a human being, asshole. Treat me like one.

Victor turns his head to her leaning closer in a slow and scary manner.

-No. Since you are in my house I will treat you like I want to... pet.

He said as he popped the 'p' to shock her even more.

-Pet? You must be joking...

She responded as he continued.

-Rule 2: you will sleep on the ground next to the fireplace.

He points to the fireplace in front of him seeing the big flame heating the whole cabin.

That's not that bad. She thought.

-Rule 3: you will clean up when you are told to.

Fuck. She thought again.

He stands up walking to his bed and stops as he turns to face her.

-I'm going to sleep but please do clean up the kitchen. Night, Y/n.

Y/n huffs eagerly at him as she snaps back.

-Damn you Creed.

He turns again said in a deadly whisper.

-If you break one rule from tomorrow there will be consequences.

Taking a deep inhale she stands up walking to the kitchen sniffing the pungent smell that will surely remind her for a lifetime.

The next day arises and Y/n and Victor are sitting next to each other on the couch silence laced between them in a thick sheet. She needed to know why he was hiding from her.

-Why didn't you respond to me?

He snarls keeping quiet.

-Don't you care about me?

Silence.

-Do you know how many times I cried?

-Y/n, you are breaking the rules.

-Fuck the rules! I need to know! I deserve it.

He sharply turns his head in his face a dangerous snarl.

-You are really aggravating me.

She leans closer in her fave no fear only sorrow and despair on her lovely complexion.

-I get it, I really do but you aren't the one at fault because of the accident.

He leans back his eyes glazing with shock. She knew it. He was hiding because he couldn't save a civilian.

-Stop it!

His hands flew to her grasping them tightly above her head against the couch material. His breath was ragged as he saw her. She missed him, for real. He saw the way her lips tremble and her eyes filled with tears.

-You could have just answered back that you don't want to hear from me. I get that but do you understand how long I was searching for you. 4 days. 4! With the hope that I will bring you back. But it seems you don't want to. Just let me go and I'll go back saying I gave up and didn't find you.

Wiggling from his grasp she looks up at him seeing the anger gone being replaced by sadness and realization.

-I'm sorry.

He watches her seeing her stare that spoke a while story.

-Why? Why did you search for me?

He waits for her truest answer yet.

-Because I like you. And I feel like a better person with you.

He looks at her watching the tear slide down her face. He made a mistake. He was the jerk he thought he left to die. A mutant that was going to be better and not a mutant that will treat others badly surely especially someone he likes. With a fistful of courage, he leans down letting his lips softly press against her. A small test. Feeling her lips press against his he leans back in letting his desire power over him. His hands letting her go. As he felt her hands land on his rough cheeks.

-Are you sure?

He asked watching her expression of there are any traces of suggesting otherwise.

-If I wasn't would I let you kiss me?

She sassed back seeing a smirk on his lips. He drags one claw against her stomach tearing the shirt in 2 pieces. Her skin was warm as his cold hands dragged along with her figure. The wind picks up his pace hitting the house with each blow. Y/n lifts herself up sitting in Victor's lap. The air hits against the door a few times with full force as if mother nature is knocking on the door. Victor continues kissing Y/n completely forgetting the harsh weather outside letting himself immerse into the experience. The door falls down startling both Y/n and Victor. As the door fell Steve Rogers enters the cabin his face in as much as shocked as Y/n and Victor.

-Finally, we found you.

Y/n stands up covering her chest with the teared up shirt.

-You could have come at late 3 hours later.

She mumbled seeing Thor infiltrating the cabin.

-Oh, brother!

-Lady Y/n! You are found!

Victor stands up laying his coat across her shoulders.

-Let's get you home so you can fornicate in peace.

Thor said as he laughed at the embarrassed Y/n.

-I'll never live this down.

[twisted-trunk]

 I Don’t Have Time for This [A Day In The Life]

I drag myself up from my bed, heaving heavy winter blankets off of me. I take one step away from my place of rest and despair. My medicine, pills placed in two separate containers; morning and night, lay on the dresser that functions more as a tall nightstand. Choosing the one closest to the door, I squint and try to remember the day. It shouldn’t be so hard between taking my meds and keeping my medical diary. Good thing I don’t fully close the tab from the day before. 

I take my medicine: some float on the water in my mouth, some are small, some are big. I down half my water bottle. My heating pad clinks to life as I tap the remote on the cord three times then slink back into place. I maneuver my laptop in front of me, slightly tilted then click on a YouTube video.

The window for sleep is gone. 

I’m tired. 

I open my phone. 

The time flashes brightly at me then gives way to my home screen. I click the weather app. The barometer reads 1023 hPa (hexopascals; normal or one atmosphere is 1013 hPa), last night ended at 1018 hPa. What’s the point in this, I ask myself even as I dutifully record it in my medical diary; I feel like shit either way and it’s been doing fucking backflips. 

Next, I record the time: 6:35. It’s winter. The sun isn’t up. My birds are, for the moment, quiet. The house isn’t awake. Save for the annoying neighbor that straight-piped their muffler, the world is quiet. The fish tank’s filter pours water back down into the tank. Car lights flash on the wall through the slight opening my layered curtains allow. Soon, the sun will come and the light will force its way into my world far before I’m ready. 

I can already tell it won’t be a cloudy day. 

I click a new YouTube video, something’s ought to catch my attention. I pray the depression med will finally do something. I pray the rest of the medicine with do something. The dose of one has been upped, there has to be a difference, right?

Through muscle memory, I click through apps. Weather. Instagram. Solitaire. Tumblr. Instagram. Safari. Solitaire. 

I check the time. 

6:53 am. 

Unconsciously, I sigh. I check my blogs though I know nothing’s new, no one has interacted with them; no notifications tell me otherwise. Still, though, I check. Maybe someone will want to talk with me. I think I expressed that enough? I hope I did. 

I don’t want the disaster or awkwardness from attempting to make conversation first but then really having nothing to say besides please talk to me, give me something, anything, I need something to take my attention away. Let me know I’m not alone. 

7:03 am. 

Light is invading more of my space. I pull the stiff blankets up as a pathetic barrier against it. I exit the YouTube video and search my recommended for something. 

I refresh. 

I refresh again. 

One more time. I click on something. I play with my phone again. The water continues to fall and splash. I open a different app. The noise grates on my thin nerves if I focus on it. I try my mindless games. Nope. 

I flow through Instagram and tumblr and instagram again. 

8:59 am. 

It’s bright and I don’t want to get up but I’m thirsty, and it’s a horrible feeling and my mouth is dry and my doctor even prescribed me to drink more and I don’t want a kidney stone. 

I don’t know how long it takes, but I get up and trample around my bed to fold the curtains in. The best it’ll get. The room is shaded only slightly; more so if it were darker out. Winter, I think, it’ll be darker, I think, but as ever, I remind myself that snow reflects light and it will be worse than a bright summer’s day.  

I grab the same cup I used the day before. My inner germaphobe winces but nothing’s been in there but water; I barely had enough energy yesterday to make myself a small bowl of pasta. 

I throw my forlorn, now warm compress into the freezer and ensure it’s shut with a knee to handle. I hate this freezer. 

I refill my glass and go to the bathroom. 

I come back and stand in front of my bed. Just do it, it think. You’re already up, I think. 

I shame myself into doing my physical therapy—at least the exercises I am able to do. Halfway through my first, I remember the ones I could have done before ever getting up to warm myself up for the rest. That was the plan I’d had for two weeks yet could never quite do it without flipping the order. I’ll lay down again anyway, after this I won’t have much pith and vinegar left. 

I never do. 

A few in, the hardest ones, I feel sick. Whether it be the “exhaustion” or unintentional dehydration or my poor eating habit courtesy of a very sickly stomach, I don’t know. 

I grit my teeth and focus on whatever distraction I’d last clicked on. 

I do some stretches in the middle, finish what’s left of it all while I’m still up. Then I lay down. I open my phone again as I begin this round of exercises and stretches. 

10:15 am. I write down when I started in my medical diary, giving a very wide birth of time considering my... inabilities. 

I click through apps again. YouTube plays in the background. My birds rise to an unknown challenge. I get up and whisper sweet nothings at them, half chiding them for being so damn loud. They direct their complaints directly at me. I give them food and open their cage doors. One flies directly onto my shoulder. Another makes declaration and flies past me to a tall perch. Two others share the same shyness. The rest take their time. Despite the time I’ve spent with them and my attempts at training over the last year or so, the second two flee my attempts to hold them. The last addition plain out tries to bite me. He doesn’t do it hard and still takes my finger as a perch, but his cuddlebug-ness needs direction. Still, he has his moments. I mumble at him and lightly chide him, petting him with my cheek as one hand has my phone and the other is holding him. I set my phone down and make entreaty towards the shyer two. They make exclamation and half hearted attempts to flee. They’ll come around. They all will, eventually. But now I have to lay down again. 

I pause in my room again. I look around. At what, I’m not quite sure, the thoughts come and go, barely a thing left behind. I mull on the thought of food. 

Nah. Nothing’s “ready.” Pulling something together seems too much. I set my cuddle bug on a perch on their birdy playground I have set up in my room. It’s next to the bike I got as an early Christmas present. 

I gather my laptop and make myself comfortable on the bike. I watch a YouTube video, my phone still open on solitaire. 

The video ends. I catch a glimpse of the time: 11:45 am. 

Nearly time to take my midday pills, I think as my legs continue to move and my finger clicks on another video. 

Finally, something catches my attention. 

I still play solitaire on my phone. 

I add a science-y video to my watch list. 

I check the barometer. 

1019 hPa. 

I keep peddling. 

1:51 pm. 

I get up and take my midday pills. 

I blow kisses to my birds as I refill my water. 

I stare at the counter for a minute. Food, I think, it’s about time. I need food. I evaluate my appetite and what my stomach would accept. Spaghetti, I decide. I retrieve my laptop and listen to a tiktok while I wait for the water to boil, and eat. 

I retreat back to my room to lay down and record the time I took my meds and ate. 

I text a friend. Something they say triggers me. I take a breath. That’s not how they meant it, I say to myself and do my best to tone down my response. It still comes off rudely. I hope they don’t take it the wrong way. 

3:47 pm. 

The light has faded some, the shadows have shifted. 

My friend and I make light conversation. Something viscerally in me feels off. It’s like when I dread something. 

I try to distract myself. 

3:51 pm. 

I move back to my bike. 

3:56 pm. 

I keep peddling. 

4:03 pm. 

I keep peddling. 

4:08 pm. 

I keep peddling. 

4:12 pm. 

I keep peddling. 

4:16 pm. 

I refill my water bottle. 

4:23 pm. 

I keep peddling. 

4:27 pm. 

I keep peddling. 

4:34 pm. 

I keep peddling. 

1022 hPa. 

My room is slightly darker than before. A YouTube compilation drones in my vision. 

Tomorrow will be rinse and repeat.

For the nth time, I think about all that I could be doing. I know why I can’t yet I shame myself all the same. 

I find something interesting to watch. 

Then refresh. 

And refresh.

And refresh. 

And refresh. 

I give up and turn to Netflix. 

Nothing. 

Something borderline interesting. 

6:50 pm. 

Dinner, maybe? Energy level? Nada. I’ll think about it later. 

Another video plays. I play on my phone, half interested in everything. 

7:13 pm. 

Dinner? 

I need food, I think. 

Can’t. 

I’ll regret it, I know. 

I’ll probably binge some in the morning whenever I get up. 

I don’t move from my place. I try to down talk myself for bed, for the hope of not staying up half the night. 

I drag myself up from my bed, heaving heavy winter blankets off of me. I take one step away from my place of rest and despair. My medicine, pills placed in two separate containers; morning and night, lay on the dresser that functions more as a tall nightstand. I take my medicine: some float on the water in my mouth, some are small, some are big. I down half my water bottle. My heating pad clinks back to life as I tap the remote on the cord three times then slink back into place. I close my laptop and set it further from me. 

That sickly feeling comes back. 

I realize it’s dread. 

I open my phone. 

[NOTE: this is not about suicide—I noticed after writing this that some things could be taken in such a way, hence this note.]

12/7/20

To those suffering: I see you; I support you; I love you.

~Rosa ❤️

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: that was not easy. i feel like its my worst chapter so far but i stlll hope you guys enjoy it. yes its their first time and yea its a bit awks but i guess thats how it was meant to be. i promise more smut asap. actually there will be a smut scene in the next chapter and i wont make it all loving and awkward like the one in this chapter lol! thank you so much of you read, like, reblog, comment or message me! ily! here’s the ‘request’ i sort of added in this chapter!

Chapter 36 : His chapter

NIALL

I could barely remember getting back home and falling asleep in my bed. The only thing I could clearly remember was the warmth of her body when she cuddled me and the short and low whimpers she let out before falling asleep. It's not that the ride was long or that we hadn't slept in the past few days but for some reason, we were both exhausted. When I opened my eyes, it was already dark outside and I grimaced. It was hard to tell what time it was and I just closed my eyes again and pulled Liv closer with one of my arms. She whimpered again but kept her eyes closed.

"What time is it?" she mumbled, gripping the front of my shirt over my stomach and making me smile a bit.

"Any time between four pm and seven in the morning." I let out, making her lips curl.

She sighed and I knew she was forcing herself to wake up and I watched her as her eyes fluttered open but remained half-closed anyway. They met mine and we both smiled at each other as I let my hand rub gently her back. She shivered but moved up slightly so her head was closer to mine and it made me smile more.

"There's something waiting for you in the living room." I just whispered, making her frown. "Under the tree or somewhere near it, I believe."

This time, her curiosity seemed stronger than her tiredness and her eyes opened completely. They roamed on my face before she frowned and a smirk appeared on her lips, making me chuckle. She moved up, holding herself with her hands on the mattress as she looked down in my eyes. I saw her gaze move to my lips before she kissed me gently and suddenly, she jumped over me, almost tripping on her own feet, getting up next to the bed. I was still laying down and I let my eyes run on her back and down to her ass. She was only wearing a shirt I was pretty sure belonged to me and a pair of black panties and I couldn't help but be slightly excited by the sight.

We had been so close to make love at my mom's and it was a shame we hadn't. With the discussion we had had right before, it would have been the perfect time to show her how much i love and want her. At the same time, though, I knew why we decided against it and it was better this way. Without thinking, I brought my hand to her butt and slipped a finger in her panties, on one of her cheeks. It made her jump and she turned around, making my finger slip out and making me laugh.

"Niall!"

"What?" I asked still laughing, shrugging and sending her a smirk. "You place your beautiful ass right in front of my face, what did you expect?"

She grimaced, scrunching her nose and eyes at the same time and it was so endearing that it made me stop laughing. She shook her head slightly and licked her lips.

"Come on, get up, I want to find out what's waiting for me in the living room!" she urged me, her eyebrows now raised up. "You got me curious."

"Only if you don't put pants on."

Her traits softened and she smiled fondly at me, a spark of amusement gracing her face.

"Deal."

She ran to the living room and I got out of bed slowly to follow her. I leaned against the wall and smiled when I realized she had lighted up the tree only and was on her knees, trying to find her gift on the floor.

"Love." I said to catch her attention, raising my eyebrows in an amused way. She turned to me and I crossed my arms on my chest. "Look slightly up."

She moved up, still on her knees, and her eyes got bigger when she noticed something hanging on one of the branches. She bit her bottom lip, staring at it for a while, and it made something stir in my stomach. I walked up to her and sat on the floor, leaning back slightly and holding myself with my hands behind me.

"It's just a little something." I pointed out as she grabbed the box, her eyes moving up to meet mine. "Nothing big but... I don't know." I shrugged. "I saw it and thought of you."

She licked her lips without saying anything and finally opened it. She stared at the necklace for so long as I tried to decipher her expression without much success.

"I know, it's a bit cliché but, I know you love hearts and I thought, I mean, I don't know, if you don't like it we can always go back to the store and you can pick something else."

Without looking at me, she took it out of the box and put it around her neck. I could see the diamonds on the golden heart shine with the white lights of the tree and I ended up wondering if it would have been prettier with multicolored lights, like she had proposed a few days ago.

"It's perfect." she whispered, running the tip of her forefinger on the heart. "Thank you Niall."

Her voice was low but I could swear it had cracked a bit and when i looked up in her eyes, I could see she was tearing up. The sight was incredible with the illuminated tree behind her and I felt my heart swell with love.

"Come here." I said even lower with a quick head movement.

Her lips curled a bit more and she got closer, bringing her lips on mine. I closed my eyes and deepened it before she nibbled gently on my bottom lip. I let out a short groan and smiled a bit, keeping my eyes closed.

"Merry Christmas, Niall." she whispered this time, smiling against my mouth.

"Christmas was a few days ago darling." I argued with a chuckle, feeling her warm breath hit my skin.

"Maybe I have a late gift for you, too."

My heart jumped at her words and I immediately felt bad for the thoughts in my head but when I felt her move closer, my heartbeats accelerated. I spread my legs on the floor and she straddled me, her lips still attached to mine, but I couldn't move. I felt her ass on my thighs and I kissed her deeper as I felt my fingers scratch down, trying to grip the carpet.

"Do you love me?" her voice came to my ears in a murmur and I finally opened my eyes to look at her.

"Yes, I love you, Olivia."

"Real love?"

The thought of that day when she admitted her feelings to me and asked me the same thing came to my mind and I kept staring in her eyes. This time, I was not going to disappoint her, I was not going to hurt her.

"Real love."

She smiled and grabbed the bottom of my shirt, moving it gently but with difficulty over my head. I laughed when she pulled on it a bit harder as it got stuck in my ear and she raised her nose up in a grimace.

"Such a clumsy ass." I joked, staring at her before she let out a low groan.

She finally let my shirt fall in the floor next to us and I kept my body slightly leaned back if only to have a good view of her. I was just thinking about slipping my hands under her shirt when she slowly took it off, shaking her head a bit to move her hair out and my eyes fell on the necklace around her neck, laying on her skin, near her breasts.

"Fuck, that's such a sight."

She giggled a bit and I finally moved my gaze up to look up at her. She was sitting on me, we were both almost naked, and I couldn't take my eyes off of hers.

"Can I touch you?"

Her lips curled into a fond smile and she slowly nodded. It took me a few seconds to sit up and I ran the fingertips of one of my hands between her breasts, sliding gently on the heart of her necklace. I tried to keep that image forever in my head and held my breath when my fingers moved to one of her nipples. Her lips parted but she kept staring at me and I let my fingers run down on her stomach to her panties. Two of my fingers slid on her core, over her panties and she let out a short and low whimper.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Her answer was quick and she seemed so sure of herself that I pressed my fingers more between her legs. She ground down on them and the sight of her pushing her hips towards me made me even more excited than I already was. I couldn't wait and just slipped my hand in her panties, my fingers rubbing gently against her pussy and coating them immediately.

"Fuck you're so wet already." I whispered, looking back at her face.

Her eyes were closed and her lips still parted, and it made me want to kiss her more than I ever wanted to. I kept moving my hand slowly over her and brought my mouth to her neck, kissing and nibbling gently on her skin. It made her whimper again and I could feel myself get harder at the sound. I wanted to feel myself inside her so bad I couldn't think straight and I tried to focus only on her instead. I slipped two of my fingers inside her and I heard her let out a curse word in a whisper. It made me groan when her hips moved again and I bit her neck harder as soon as she started riding my fingers gently.

"I want you so fucking bad." I breathed out as I brought my thumb to her clit. "You make me so hard, petal."

She stopped moving over my fingers and just got off me, struggling and squirming to take her panties off as I watched her. She was endearing and she cursed again, making me chuckle. She moved closer to me and pulled on my boxers, making me smile even more. I moved my ass up to help her but I couldn't take my eyes off of her naked body until she was back on me, straddling me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to make this awkward." she just said, grimacing slightly and making me chuckle again.

"Don't apologize, this is perfect."

She cupped my face and I felt my eyes flutter when she moved closer to press her mouth against mine. She pushed her body against mine and I could feel my cock rub against her lower stomach. I felt so horny and excited for what was going to happen that I groaned in her mouth, I slipped my hand on her arms and down to her waist, grabbing it tight. She probably took it as a request because she got up on her knees and moved even closer. I stiffened when I felt the tip of my cock press against her pussy and slowly, she sat on me, making my grip tighten on her waist.

"Fuck, please, don't move." I almost begged her, shutting my eyes tighter.

I had never thought I could be close to an orgasm so quick but I knew that if she moved even just slightly, I would probably cum right before we even started. I knew that the wait, the teasing and the thought of making love with her had made this moment even better but I wanted it to last. I could feel her throb around me and it felt so good that a shiver crossed my back, making me quiver very slightly.

I opened my eyes only to see her hands run on her breasts slowly before one of them reached between her legs. She remained motionless except for her fingertips brushing gently against her clit and without thinking, I pushed my hips up and made her whimper louder. She started moving over me as my hands reached for her thighs, traveling on her soft skin as I felt myself slip in and out of her.

"Darlin' you feel so good." I whispered, tilting my chin up to look at her.

She kissed me again, her hips grinding down on me and moaning in my mouth and I couldn't help it. I brought my hands to her waist again and pushed my body her way. She gripped my shoulders as I was laying her on the carpet and laughed a bit as I hovered over her.

"You like to be in control, Horan?" she asked with amusement, a large smile gracing her lips.

My eyes roamed on her face and my smile grew.

"Oh you have no idea, pet."

She bit her bottom lip and I dipped my head down to kiss her again as I pushed myself as deep as I could inside her. She moved her knees up and started grinding against me in rhythm with my thrusts, bringing me closer and closer to an orgasm.

I moved up a bit to enjoy how fucked she looked. Her hands were placed palms up on each side of her head as her hair was sprawled around her head. She looked beautiful and I wanted nothing more than to make her cum. I let the fingers of one of my hands brush against her arm before it reached her hand and immediately, she gripped my fingers tight. I allowed myself to lay completely on her and did the same with her other hand.

"Oh my god, you're gonna make me cum."

The thought made my whole body throb as I desperately pushed myself inside her, still gripping her hands tight and when I felt an orgasm hit me, I buried my face in her neck and groaned louder than I thought I would. I kept moving in and out of her even after I came down from my high and without thinking, I bit the skin of her neck, making her squirm beneath me.

"Fuck, Niall!"

She started shaking and I just stared at her, admiring her as she came hard, her thighs pressed against my sides, trapping me close to her and her back arching. After a few seconds, she sighed but let out a few whimpers and her eyes opened, meeting mine.  We looked at each other for a while and she moved her head slightly, her hair now messy but still spread around her face. She was glowing with happiness and I knew I most likely was too.

"I'm... i'm sorry it didn't last longer."

She started laughing and brought one of her hands in my hair, pushing on my head to bring me close. She kissed me but laughed again against my mouth before I finally pushed myself away from her to lie down next to her on the floor. Once again, I felt her hand reach for mine and she squeezed it tight.

"I thought we'd do that in a bed." she finally admitted after about a minute of silence. "I thought i'd be too nervous to get an orgasm."

"I thought I'd cum too quick and I did." I confessed with a chuckle, feeling her turn her head to look at me.

"But you kept going until I came too." she pointed out, making me turn my head too to look at her. "I appreciate that."

I let my eyes roam on her face, noticing her shining eyes and her red cheeks, and brought one of my hands on one, brushing my thumb against it softly.

"I love you." I expressed, making my own heart skip a beat.

She was beautiful and I seemed to be stuck in that post-orgasm state where everything is perfect until I realized that it had not much to do with the orgasm and more to do with the whole situation. I was exactly where I was supposed to be with the right person and no other feeling could ever top that.

"I love you too." she whispered, licking her lips. "I love you more than anything."

                                                         ----

When the door opened a very happy (and maybe slightly tipsy) Louis appeared, his arms wide open before he took me into a tight hug.

"NEIL YOU'RE HERE!"

I laughed but hugged him back before he turned to my girlfriend and sent her a smirk, tilting his head. He moved his head frenetically and Olivia chuckled, taking a step closer as he engulfed her in a hug too and kissed her cheek.

"I'm very happy you're here, both of you!"

He let us in and I could feel Liv a bit tensed next to me. I grabbed her hand in mine and squeezed her fingers in an attempt to show her I was there with her and she held my hand tight back.

"Hey everyone! The lovers have finally arrived and they're holding hands!"

A bunch of people turned to us and I rolled my eyes as I heard a few 'Hey!'s and 'Hello's being shouted. I smiled and waved with my free hand before shaking my head a bit and looking at my friend.

"You're a pain in my ass, Tommo, you know that don't you?"

"Totally doing it on purpose Niall." he smirked and turned his head to look at Olivia and wink at her. "Love what you did with your hair."

He didn't give her time to answer and she just stuck her tongue at him, making him laugh as he walked away, turning to us and going backwards.

"Wine? Beer?" he asked, his eyebrows raised and pointing at us with both hands.

"Wine!" we replied at the same time, making us both laugh.

I turned to her and she was extending her pinky to me, making me roll my eyes. I intertwined mine around it and stared in her eyes with a smile as I tried to think of a wish to make. We always did that when we talked at the same time and we always preferred that to the common jinx thing people did.

"Key." she whispered with a smile.

I bit my bottom lip and without thinking, I wished to keep this beautiful girl in my life until forever.

"Lock." I finally replied to keep our wishes a secret, sending her a fond smile as she took her hand away from mine.

Louis came back with two glasses of wine and we thanked him, both of us taking a quick sip to ease our nerves. I pulled her with me to the living room and we found a place on the couch to sit together. The room was full and I started thinking coming here for New Year's Eve was a bad idea.

"Are you okay?" she asked as I inhaled deeply and nodded.

"No yea, i'll be okay."

"If at some point you need fresh air or just to go upstairs for a while i'm sure Louis will understand."

I was about to answer when Julie and Liam walked to us. We got up to hug them and finally sat back down as they sat in front of us.

"I just knew you guys would make the cutest couple." Julie laughed as Liam put his arm around her shoulders. "It was just a matter of time."

I glanced at Liv who seemed to blush and I smirked with a shrug.

"Yea I guess i'm a bit slow." I admitted, half-joking. "But we're good now."

I ran my hand on my girlfriend's leg, my fingertips brushing gently on the inside of her thighs. It made her shiver and I smiled more, enjoying the effect I had on her. We chatted for a little bit about everything we planned to do during the next year and at some point I just shrugged again, leaning against the couch and bringing one of my legs on the other, my ankle leaning on my thigh and my knee pressed on my girlfriend's thigh.

"The trip I have planned, of course, but after that then I don't know." I explained. "I'll write no doubt but I don't see myself releasing any music soon, at least not until the end of the year. I'll be busy."

I turned to Olivia and she sent me a small smile before biting her bottom lip and I barely heard Liam laugh as Julie let out a too loud "awww!" I kept staring at my girlfriend, realizing how bad I wanted to spend time with her and focus on her for a while, and felt a twist in my chest at the thought of not seeing her for a few weeks. I was never the clingy type of guy, I was mostly independent and laid-back, but that didn't mean I was not going to miss my best friend and my lover pretty much the whole time I would be away. The truth was, it was the first time I felt like that for someone, and it made me realize that everything I didn't care about in my past relationships seemed to matter a bit more in this one. Like spending 6 weeks away from her.

I don't know what came over me but I moved closer and cupped her face, bringing her head up before pressing my mouth against hers. I let my lips hungrily move against hers as I kissed her slowly but deeply. I forgot about everyone in the house, forgot about where we were, forgot about anything that was not Olivia and I. I just wanted to taste her and show her how much I loved her and how much I would miss her without using any word.

"Fooking hell, Neil, get a room!"

I kept my eyes closed and groaned low against my girlfriend's mouth, slowly coming back to reality and when I finally turned to the voice, I realized all my friends were staring at us. Louis was smirking again and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"Yours, Louis?"

He turned to Liv and raised his nose up with amusement.

"I wouldn't recommend it, love." he let out. "So many unholy things happened there, it could ruin your virtue."

This time, she laughed and raised her eyebrows.

"Oh you clearly know nothing about me, Tommo, nothing at all."

I turned my head to look at her again and let my eyes roam on her profile as she smirked at him. I wanted to know what she meant, I wanted to know what she liked and what kind of things she wanted me to do to her. Just the thought made me feel a bit dizzy and I cleared my throat, trying to get out of my sexual daydream.

"Yea? When Neil is gone, we can hang out then." he proposed, making my heart sink in my chest. "Imma find out everything about you there is to learn."

"Works for me." she chuckled, raising one of her shoulders.

"Alright! Now let's go to the kitchen, dinner's ready!"

Louis clapped in his hands and everyone got up to follow him. I stopped Liv who was about to leave by grabbing her wrist gently. She turned to me and sent me a smile, making my lips curl immediately.

"I'm gonna find out about how unholy you are before he does, right?"

This time, she laughed and shook her head, bringing her hands to my cheeks and running one of her thumbs on my lips. I loved the way she was looking at me and when she got on her tiptoes, I could have sworn she was going to kiss me but she remained very close to me and her amused smile turned into a mischievous one.

"Of course." she whispered. "I'll tell you, and then i'll show you."

[joseph--reed]

Here’s to surviving the apocalypse

03.05.2035 It has been roughly two years since the world went into lockdown due to a worldwide pandemic that swept the nation within a blink of an eye. The cause of all this mass hysteria is a virus which affects the tissues in the brain, permanently altering them to change the human body. Currently, there is no cure although the world health organization has tried countless times to manufacture a vaccine however each trial for a vaccine has so far been unsuccessful. Therefore a worldwide lockdown was imposed for the virus to be contained. Even with a lockdown, there have been many casualties due to this virus and the numbers of the infected only seem to be on the rise.

 It's a dark and dangerous world out there, every man or women for themselves. Many people formed pacts, groups they can rely on to survive others chose to go at this world alone. There is no right and wrong in this world, many people who went in groups have now become infected and the same can be said for those who went at alone. It's survival of the fittest and you've got to work with what you've got to make it because not everybody is built to survive this harsh pandemic. My wife and daughter being among the many who didn't make it. Not a day goes by that I don't long for their existence. It still haunts me that I had to leave them that way, in that house, the house we were all supposed to live in, grow in, die old in yet it seems fate had cruel intentions instead. 

I don't believe I am one of the lucky ones. Who would want this life but then again who would want that life either its all one big catch twenty-two and the "lucky" ones are stuck in the middle trying to survive on the bare minimum. The government are supposed to help but they hardly do shit. They'll hand out scraps to the common folk and keep anything worthwhile to the rich assholes. Yet they'll have their military parade about the streets vowing to "protect us" when we all know that's a facade. God, I hate people in the office. 

"Okay enough of that." Joseph mumbled to himself as he placed his pen back into the middle of his diary before carefully closing the black leather book and stowing it away in his bag. He knew if he continued to write he was going to go on a tangent about how he hates the oval office and that would just be a waste of paper. That diary is there to document any thoughts he has about the pandemic, not his political views. For that, he can get a spray can and deface a public building however he would rather not be thrown into any kind of government solitary. Just as he is pulling away from his bag his eyes catch a glimpse of the wooden photo frame that is beside his bed. A soft sigh escapes his lips as he leans over and carefully picks it up, his icy blue hues scanned the picture as his brain relived the memory. The photo consisted of him, his wife and newborn daughter at the beach together. Oh, how he longed for better days like those in the past. "I miss you both." The male whispered to himself before gently placing a kiss to the glass. He took another moment the gaze at the photo before setting it back in its rightful position. "Another day of this bullshit." The dark-haired male spoke to himself as he started to get geared up for the day ahead. He needed to find some new supplies, mostly he needed food but any other equipment he could find along his way that he could trade for food would also be a bonus. 

Joseph got himself dressed in his usual 'work' gear before he loaded up his bag with essential supplies for his trip. He took one good look around the room to make sure he hadn't forgotten to pack anything before he set off for his day out. It is still early hours of the morning, the sun only just rising but in this day and age you needed to start any essential travel very early otherwise all items of value will be gone. It's not the world we were all once used too, there are no self-checkouts, contactless payments, take-aways, click and collect. there is none of that, supermarkets seize to exist as we once knew them, you get rations — if you can even call them that. Most days you can't even get basics like bread because they are gone within an instance or the government 'forget' to restock your designated food area. Most folk try to survive on their own without having to wait on government hand me downs, it's a hard life but it sometimes works out more beneficial if you know how to play the game. 

"It's a beautiful day." Joseph murmured as he stepped outside his house, taking his first steps into the world as he set off in search of supplies. The sun beamed down on the dark-haired man, The male still had a slight twinge of blonde in his locks however his natural colour dominated. Joe took a slow walk through his town — town as if you could hardly call this place a town, it was just houses and a few rationed shops barricaded in by the military some life huh? "Out again Joseph?" Mary — one of his neighbours called out to him as he made his way to the gates which gave him access to other areas outside of his town. "You know me, can never stay still." A dry chuckle escaped his lips- Joseph wasn't one for small talk nor did he want anyone to pry into his life. "Do rememb—" Joseph quickly put his hand up to silence Mary. "Do remember there is still a curfew and anyone outside the gates after 9 pm will be locked out there. I remember. It's been the same message every day for the last two years." Joseph replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me I'm off to try and not get infected." With that, Joe closed the conversation and exited his town.

 Stepping outside the gated community you could tell the world is in an Apocolypse. Inside those gates, people were still desperately clinging onto normality however it's a whole different ballgame once you cross that line into the real world. Everything is falling apart, buildings being blown up, mother nature taking back her earth. Everything manmade seems to be crumbling, this city didn't even look like a city no more. There are no cars, no mass crowds, no architecture. It all just looks run down and out of place, it is not eye candy that's for sure but this is the new normal and it has been for the last two years. 

Roughly about 35 minutes into Josephs journey is where it started to get interesting. He knew from doing this routine every day that the first hour or so he would never find anything worthwhile. Maybe a scrap here and there but nothing worth any value. Finally, he has managed to stumble upon a small cottage, untouched. No forced entry, no broken windows and it is all perfectly intact. A rare yet exciting sighting. "Now now what do we have here.." The male mumbled to himself as he observed the cottage from a good distance. Although it seems untouched that doesn't mean it actually is. People have gotten craftier these days and this could easily be a trap therefore he knew he had to be cautious before entering the cottage. Just as he was about to move in closer that was when he heard the dreaded noise of an infected. "Fan-fucking-tastic." Joe grumbled as he pulled out a small pair of binoculars to scope the area to try and find the bastard. "Gotcha." Joe whispered as he locked sights on the infected who was currently lapping its way around the front of the cottage. "Time to deal with this." He ran his hand through his hair before carefully creeping behind a set of knee-high stones that were perched in the front garden, thus giving him enough cover so the infected doesn't seem him. 

Gingerly Joe peered up from over the set of stones to gauge what kind of method of attack he'd need for this infected. It only seemed to be a stage 1 infected given by the bite mark on their arm and the small lacerations down their neck and back. A very recent case, An hour or two give or take. Was this person trying to get into this cottage? Is this the place it all went pear-shaped for them? Either way, Joe couldn't fixate on the questions at hand, he needed to get rid of it and fast. He waited for the right moment before he tiptoed up behind the infected and grabbed it by the neck making sure to cut off any air supply. Of course the infected didn't go down without a fight as it wriggled its way around in Joe's grasp however it was unsuccessful and after a few moments of thrashing around it soon died. "And that's that." Joe concluded by dropping the lifeless body to the ground and stepping over it before walking up to the front door of the cottage. He placed his hand on the cool brass before giving it a turn, nothing. It's locked. "Pickin time." He muttered as he crouched down before grabbing his lock pick set from his bag. It was a tricky old bastard but he got there in the end. 

With the door now open Joe stepped foot into the cottage and to his surprise, it is actually untouched. "Holy shit." He said as he made his way into the kitchen as he started to raid the cupboards, taking any supplies he could before some other bastard stumbled upon this find. "Peaches, spaghetti, soup." With every item, he placed in his bag Joe was taking a mental note of what they were. Just as he was about to move into another room he heard the floorboards of the front room squeak. God damn it who the fuck has found this place already? Joe drew in a quick breath before he grabbed his 9mm from his holster, he carefully pulled back the hammer and took off the safety as he kept the gun to his side as he moved towards the door. The closer he got the door the higher he raised his gun, who the fuck was he going to find today?  @elsierenshaw

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #196

Sun Aug 25 2019 [01:53 PM] Wack'd: Normally I don't post covers but there's a lot going on here

[01:53 PM] Bocaj: A lot to unpack [01:54 PM] Wack'd: So for the record [01:55 PM] Wack'd: What actually happened was that Skrulls abducted Franklin Storm out of prison, replaced him with a Skrull. Skrull Storm then broke out of prison and claimed he'd given himself superpowers and was now a supervillain [01:55 PM] Wack'd: "The Invincible Man" [01:56 PM] Wack'd: When the Four figured out the truth, the Skrulls send Franklin Storm back with a gun strapped to his chest, but rather than murder his kids he dropped to the floor so the gunshot would rebound on him [01:56 PM] Wack'd: So, uh, no. By no metric did Sue and Johnny "murder" him [01:57 PM] Wack'd: This was all back in the 60s which I read a fucktillion years ago in 2016 so I hope that recap helped [01:57 PM] Bocaj: That sure is nonsense [01:58 PM] Wack'd: In fairness. Not bad revenge for being tricked by a comic book and having your soldiers turned into cows [01:58 PM] Bocaj: Fair [01:59 PM] Wack'd: So anyway Reed is in a hypnosis chamber to have his will broken so he'll kill his friends [01:59 PM] Wack'd: When his new bosses said that there was free mental health treatment I don't think this is what Reed had in mind [02:01 PM] Bocaj: Truly businesses supporting mental health hasn't gotten any better since the 70s... [02:01 PM] Wack'd: This mystery man who may or may not be Franklin Storm somehow has cannibalized Psycho-Man's suit for more effective hypnosis. You might remember him from the Four 1967 annual [02:01 PM] Wack'd: Also other stuff [02:03 PM] Wack'd: Also his assistant is Hauptmann, from the 85-87 arc where Doom tries to trap the Four in Latveria forever [02:03 PM] Wack'd: I really should be keeping a running list of who's been doing the most cannibalizing from the 60s [02:03 PM] Wack'd: Because jesus fuck have we been on a continuity kick lately [02:04 PM] Wack'd: BACK TO HOLLYWOOD [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Sue tries desperately to pretend she's had a single meaningful conversation with Johnny since 1964

[02:06 PM] Bocaj:

"Hey.... you" "Its me, Johnny! The loveable rascal! Your brother!" "Right right right of course!" -to Reed- "I have no idea who that is"

[02:06 PM] Wack'd: I'd like to nominate Keith Pollard for worst-ever drawing of any child, ever

[02:06 PM] Bocaj: Kill it with fire [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Maybe Pollard is just...bad at art?

[02:08 PM] Wack'd: The coloring isn't helping though [02:08 PM] Umbramatic: oh god [02:08 PM] maxwellelvis: I was about to say [02:08 PM] maxwellelvis: Good lord! First-phase Liefeld's Syndrome! [02:10 PM] Wack'd: Something I haven't mentioned is that Agatha is now Franklin Richards' live-in nanny which, I think, would probably have been a smarter writing choice from the beginning [02:10 PM] Bocaj: Oh so she returned to the job? [02:10 PM] Wack'd: It was always kinda weird that Reed and Sue had to shlep out to Agatha's house to see their kid [02:10 PM] Bocaj: This must have been around the time she told Wanda 'I've taught you all I can, laters' [02:10 PM] Wack'd: Yeah since New Salem and also her house got got she's been following around Sue and Franklin, including to Hollywood [02:12 PM] Wack'd: So Sue, Ben, and Johnny go sightseeing, and talk about reforming the team. Only problem is convincing Reed [02:12 PM] Wack'd: They arrive on the Walk of Fame, and--

[02:12 PM] Wack'd: I am officially declaring Pollard the worst [02:13 PM] maxwellelvis: AHH! ART ATTACK! [02:13 PM] Umbramatic: my eyes [02:13 PM] maxwellelvis: THE ART IS COMING RIGHT AT US! [02:14 PM] Wack'd: Ben tries to get an autograph but is shoed away by cops [02:14 PM] Wack'd: Who think he's a guy in a costume because Let's Make Another Deal™ is shooting across the street [02:15 PM] Wack'd: Okay, I laughed

[02:16 PM] Bocaj: Hah [02:16 PM] Wack'd: *Alex Ross goes on to use this panel as the basis for his drawings of Sue and Johnny* [02:16 PM] Bocaj: To choose which celebrities they look like? [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Yes [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Dats da joke [02:17 PM] Bocaj: Is it a joke? I thought you were seriously imparting trivia [02:18 PM] Wack'd: It was a joke, I can't actually name the celebrities off the top of my head that Alex Ross picks, sorry [02:18 PM] Wack'd: So the scenes from the cover happen but they're hallucinated in the middle of this lovely restaurant [02:19 PM] Wack'd: Also, this

[02:20 PM] Wack'd: So apparently this was all a battle in the center of the mind not in physical space. Sue, Johnny, and Ben lose, allowing Invincible Man to extract them from the restaurant [02:21 PM] Wack'd: Just another day in Hollyweird, lol

[02:22 PM] Wack'd: So back at Reed's new job, it turns out Invisible Man was--REED! [02:22 PM] Wack'd: He was hypnotized [02:23 PM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:23 PM] Bocaj: Another Evil Reed? [02:23 PM] Wack'd: But then he snaps out of it and gets angry so they're all thrown in a dungeon [02:23 PM] Bocaj: Another Evil But Its Not His Fault Honest Reed?? [02:23 PM] Wack'd: YEP [02:23 PM] Bocaj: Weird trend lately [02:23 PM] Wack'd: I know, right? [02:25 PM] Wack'd: I maintain that Wein was throwing a hissy fit over the idea of Reed having character flaws. But Wein is gone, and it's a weird grudge for two consecutive writers to hold, especially when the divorce arc has been over for like 45 issues [02:26 PM] Bocaj: Maybe the current writer is just copying Wein [02:26 PM] Wack'd: Maybe [02:27 PM] ThreeOfFour: someone tell The Maker he isn't special [02:27 PM] Wack'd: So anyway Reed agrees to go back to work because otherwise his friends die I guess [02:28 PM] Bocaj: Hey, the Maker. You're not special [02:29 PM] Wack'd: ...this guy hasn't appeared before this issue so I'm not sure why I'm supposed to care here

[02:30 PM] Wack'd: I actually went back and checked just now to see if this guy was in other issues at Reed's new job and no, he's not, Wolfman introduced to this supposedly important character just to make a joke about the fact that he's not important [02:31 PM] Wack'd: The beginning of the issue kind of implies that he's the mysterious man in chair? But there's a panel later on that implies it's Doom, so [02:32 PM] Wack'd: So this is what Reed's been working on

[02:32 PM] Bocaj: The set of a high budget fantasy movie? [02:32 PM] Wack'd: These mirrors are so powerful that they will drive you insane if you look at them with your eyes open, and even with your eyes closed it's not great [02:32 PM] Bocaj: why [02:33 PM] Wack'd: I guess this is what they thought solar power would be like in 1978 [02:34 PM] Wack'd: The Red-Haired Man is also planning on getting Reed his stretching back for some reason [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Back in the dungeon, Sue uses her force fields to break the team's shackle and the--okay

[02:35 PM] Wack'd: I know Janet has that whole speech about how when you focus on power sets and not what each personality brings to the team, you don't build something that lasts as long as the Avengers do [02:36 PM] Wack'd: That said I'm kinda feeling like Sue can do everything Reed could with far less threat of bodily harm [02:36 PM] Bocaj: But can she be a giant asshole who tells the others what to do all the time? [02:36 PM] Wack'd: Fair [02:37 PM] Wack'd: Also why are so many artists convinced Sue's powers come from her forehead [02:37 PM] Bocaj: That’s where psychic powers come from [02:39 PM] Wack'd: I should probably take a moment to point out the interior blue highlights on Sue's powers, an embellishment that will gradually lead to more dynamic illustrations and the eventual obsolescence of the classic dotted-line look

[02:40 PM] Umbramatic: Sue's slow evolution into one of the most powerful people in Marvel pleases me [02:41 PM] Wack'd: Anyway no sooner do they escape then they are immediately re-captured by Doom, who let them escape because they are powerless and he is great and yada yada yada [02:42 PM] Umbramatic: DOOOOOOM [02:43 PM] Bocaj: "There would be no plot if DOOM did not allow you fools to escape"

[hcneymilkks]

Christmas Prompts Requests

As this decade is coming to a close and another Holiday is creeping up, I decided to open up my request....

But with a few exceptions:

(request on my ask or pm me) 

REQUEST GUIDELINES

- Any k-pop idol, male or female (these prompts are mostly romance ones though sooo...)

- Main character name can be your name, a made up name or just Y/N

- choose between bullet point form, drabble under 1000 words, or full-fledged imagine

- and prompt number(s) (can request more than one number)

EXAMPLE

- Got7's JB

- Name: Y/N

- bullet point

- prompt numbers 11 and 12.

<Without further or do, I present prompts taken from different tumblr blogs with full credit.> 

< these ones in bullet point form are credited to the original creators! Mine is found under the cut!> 

christmas writing prompts

winter/holiday prompts

holiday prompts

OTP christmas scenarios

[FULL WARNING: IF THE PROMPT CROSSED OUT THAT MEANS IT HAS ALREADY BEEN REQUESTED!]

1. Getting trapped in a shopping mall together during after-hours in which they were christmas shopping too hard.

2. SWEATER PAWS AND CUDDLES. “If you don’t grab me a blanket, I’m breaking up with you.” “I’m watching Barbie Nutcracker.”

3. Losing S/O at a christmas market and having to make an announcement over an intercom as to reunite them again (I’m thinking early 80’s era with fluorescent jackets and big old scarfs and brick phones that they left at home).

4. “Are you humming the Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy?” Falling asleep in front of the fire whilst their S/O is playing them ‘dance of the sugar plum fairy’ on piano. They pull a blanket over them and curl up beside them.

5. Spilling hot chocolate/coffee/a hot-fucking-beverage on the other and insisting on paying for a new drink and new clothes for them, unaware that they’re rich and very capable of buying themselves another coffee. Besides, they don’t know that this jacket is Louis Vuitton and cost more than the knock-off Gucci belt that had caught their eye in the first place (probably looking a little lower than the belt, but we digress).  “So you wanna… hot chocolate and chill?” “If you ask me that one more time, I will dump my hot chocolate on you.”

6. First christmas with their S/O and panicking to their best friend/sibling about what to get them. Somehow, a plushie didn’t seem exactly suitable when they knew the other had bought them an engagement ring.

7. Being gifted tickets to see a family member overseas, but having to leave their S/O at home for christmas, not expecting them to turn up on their doorstep on christmas morning with a bouquet of roses.

8. Buying animal-proof fairy lights, confusing their S/O, but it all makes sense when there’s an ENTIRE puppy in their living room on christmas day.

9. Falling asleep in the passenger seat whilst their S/O drives them to a family members house for christmas, but not wanting to wake them for further directions because they look so p e a c e f u l.

10. Sleeping in until midday because they just want to be in each other’s arms and it is so warm with them right here beside them.

11. Making out under the christmas tree because the lights reflecting in their S/O’s eyes just looked too ethereal for them not to kiss them until they lost their breath.

12. Falling asleep on their significant other’s chest whilst they’re wrapping christmas presents, meaning that some aren’t wrapped the next morning because the sellotape had RUN OUT.

13. Failing to get the right meat and their S/O sending them back multiple times until they end up going together and realising that they weren’t even going to the right store.

14. “Wanna go skating in Central Park?” “Who even came up with ice skating? Do you know what a terrible idea it is? Its like,,, strapping knives to your feet before getting on ice which you may or may not fall through.” Ice skating and them BOTH BEING REALLY GOOD ACTUALLY.

15. Avoiding the mistletoe at all costs, however, everyone is trying their best to get the otp there.

16. Neighbour au in which one gets drunk on mulled wine and ends up knocking at the other’s door, drunkenly trying to seduce the other and- instead- passing out in their living room

17. Crawling into their roommate’s (S/O’s) bed because it is too cold in their own and they want cuddles.

18. Person A tries to get their friends to kiss under the mistletoe, and they completely forget about their crush on Person B until they both end up under the mistletoe.

19. Person A and Person B sitting next to the fire, drinking hot chocolate, maybe even cuddling. “So you wanna… hot chocolate and chill?” “If you ask me that one more time, I will dump my hot chocolate on you.”

20. Person A stays out late one night to find the perfect gift for their partner. Does Person B scold them for being out so late?

21. Imagine them being complete fools while playing in the snow. Bonus points if they have a dog or another pet that joins them. “Let’s make snow angels!” “Are you nine?” “How can you possibly look good with snow in your hair?”

22. Person A comes home freezing, so Person B happily cuddles with them to warm them up.

23. Matching. Sweaters.

24. Person A is ready at 3 am on Christmas morning, while Person B isn't ready until 10 am.

25. Person A plays Christmas music in October, and Person B is just Done with them. “Can we PLEASE watch something else? This is the 3rd time we’ve watched elf today. And it’s November 1st.” “Nightmare Before Christmas is a Christmas movie, not a Halloween movie.” “If you turn down the Christmas music, I’ll murder you.”

26. “We made too many cookies.” “Are you sure your family can eat all these cookies?” “What? No! These are just for us!” “You burnt the holiday cookies!”

27. “You’re impossible to shop for!”

28. “Who brought the fruit cake? I just wanna talk…” “ALRIGHT, WHO SPIKED THE EGGNOG?” “Wait, that wasn’t sparkling grape juice? I drank like 5 glasses of it! No wonder everything is so funny!” “I got apple cider up my nose.”

29. “I can’t believe I got stuck on a ski lift with you, of all people.” “Listen, it isn’t my fault you broke your wrist trying to snowboard down that hill.”

30. “Who walks on an ice covered pond anymore? Don’t you know how stupid that is? You should’ve died in that pond. Natural selection.”

31. “You’re either terrible at wrapping presents, or you’re one of santa’s elves. There’s no in between.” “There’s more tape on that present then wrapping paper.”

32. “Don’t you think gingerbread houses with gingerbread men in them are kinda morbid? I mean, it’s a house made out of flesh.” “Everyone knows you’re not actually supposed to eat the gingerbread house. Those things are stale as hell.”

33. “It’s not what’s under the tree that matters, it’s those who are gathered around it.” “Shut up and give me my present.” “We all know damn well that Mariah Carry cares about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.” “You’re getting coal this year.”

34. “Christmas is so close, I can almost smell the mistletoe I’m never going to get kissed under.” “Oooo, we’re under the mistletoe!” “No No No No- mphh!”

35. “Come outside and and have a snowball fight with us.” “I don’t really feel like it…” “That’s because you know that you’ll lose…” “Don’t you dare bring that snowball in the house, DON’T YOU DARE-“

36. “Bath and Body Works was having a sale on their holiday scents so I bought twenty bottles of lotion.”

[thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters]

JJ’s Rockin’ 100 (Ready, set… DRABBLE!)

This is long overdue but I really wanted to do this. It always looks like so much fun and even if I only get one request, I wanted to have given you guys the chance to let me thank you properly for your support.

BECAUSE a little while back, this blog reached its first milestone!

Thank you to everyone who decided to join this fanfic-loving family and continue to help me spread the love to all those talented writers on this platform. Not only that, but also the love I’ve received since I started posting my own work. I can’t thank you guys enough <3

As for the way I plan to celebrate with you guys:

I have made a list of, wait for it… one-hundred drabble prompts. Fitting, isn’t it? I think so. All you have to do is tell me which one you’d like me to use in a drabble, and I’ll get writing :)

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS

1.       (A) You will find the prompt list below the cut at the bottom of this post. You can pick only one.           (B) Some of the prompts contain a ‘[blank]’. It is entirely up to you what you want this to say, so let your creativity flow and let me know! To make sure I know what exactly you want me to put in the blank, put the same brackets around it in your request, like this: [insert idea] 2.      Once you have selected a prompt, it’s time to pick a brother. For now I’ll only write reader-inserts for Sam or Dean, so I’ll need to know who you want me to pair the reader with in your custom drabble. 3.      OPTIONAL: If you want, you can give me a trope to work around. This can be anything, but for clarification I’ll give some examples: fluff, angst, break-up, first date, nightmare, etcetera. Just make sure to keep it either one word or a short phrase. 4.      Once you have picked all your factors, it’s time to send in the request! You can do this HERE by sending me an ask.       Example 1: “#3 with Sam, [you’re right]”       Example 2: “#55 with Dean, hunt gone wrong” 5.      MUST BE FOLLOWING! Because this is a follower celebration, I will not accept anonymous asks. If you, for any reason, really do not want anyone to know you are the one who requested the drabble, shoot me a message through pm and we’ll figure something out! No problem, I want to celebrate with every single one of you (:

REQUEST DEADLINE: Undetermined (going to leave it open permanently, for now)

ASK BOX || MAIN MASTERLIST

Let me know if you have any more questions! Signal boosts are always appreciated, of course

Special thanks to @manawhaat for helping me figure out how best to go about this celebration. Sorry I’m such a pain in the ass to brainstorm with! You’re a godsend, really.

-

FINISHED DRABBLES

Prompt List

1. "Do you think this is funny?" 2. "I like it. It looks good on you." 3. "I can't believe I'm about to say this but [blank]." 4. "Did you not hear what I just said?" 5. "If there ever was a right time to tell you, I know this is it." 6. "Stop making excuses. I'm sick of them." 7. "I am never going to be able to live this down, am I?" 8. "Why are we whispering?" 9. "I know that look, and I don't like it." 10. "Is that a hickey?" 11. "I'm about two seconds away from punching you in the nose." 12. "Let's think this through first, okay? Please." 13. "I breathe bad luck." 14. "Remember three seconds ago when I told you to fuck off?" 15. "I thought I lost you." 16. "Oh, that's rich coming from you." 17. "You would look good in that." 18. "That was about as subtle as a wrecking ball." 19. "Why is your tongue blue?" 20. "This is exactly why I didn't tell you." 21. "Does that answer your question?" - "Not even a little bit." 22. "Did you just hiss at me?" 23. "If we weren't about to die, I would totally kiss you right now." 24. "You singlehandedly took down a nest of vamps last week like it was nothing, but this scares you?" 25. "I told you to stay out of it!" 26. "Yes, right there!" 27. "I did it to protect you." 28. "You're lucky you're cute." 29. "Why is it always me?" 30. "You did that on purpose!" 31. "Can't you see I'm right here?" 32. "Take off your clothes." 33. "Let me make it up to you." 34. "How can you live with yourself?" 35. "What time is it?" - "One minute later than the last time you asked." 36. "Stop touching it!" 37. "Don't let the door hit you on your way out." 38. "How do you live with yourself?" 39. "Let's do it right there on that couch." 40. "On the count of three, okay? One... Two..." - "Wait!" 41. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this." 42. "Time for plan B." - "We didn't even have a plan A." 43. "Would you just shut up and listen for one second!" 44. "All right, that's it. I have officially seen it all." 45. "You owe me big time." 46. "Don't even think about it." 47. "You look like you've seen a ghost." 48. "Of all the people to get trapped in an elevator with, it had to be you." 49. "After all this is over, we should [blank]." 50. "I beg your pardon?" - "Oh, I'll get you begging for much more." 51. "That's a lot of blood." 52. "Say something, damnit!" 53. "You're toxic." 54. "Let's try this again, shall we?" 55. "I trust you." - "I gotta tell you that's a bad idea." 56. "Let's just get this over with." 57. "Are you high?" 58. "I only looked away for a second, I swear!" 59. "If you die, I'm gonna kill you." 60. "You were talking in your sleep." 61. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to hear about it. I just want to forget about it." 62. "Are you jealous? You are totally jealous." 63. "I can't even look at you right now." 64. "You're embarrassing me!" 65. "I'll play you for it." 66. "Keep saying things like that and I'm gonna [blank]." 67. "Step away from the [blank]. Slowly." 68. "If you do this, I will never forgive you." 69. "Someone's looking a little hot and bothered right now." 70. "Why were you screaming?" 71. "Are you attracted to her?" 72. "I'll treat ya real nice." 73. "Why can't we do it the easy way?" 74. "You touched it!" 75. "You made a list of [blank]?" 76. "Are you asking me out?" - "I think I am." 77. "Is that a gun in your pocket?" 78. "Did you just take a picture of that?" 79. "That is just absolutely disgusting." 80. "We're not friends." 81. "Good morning, sunshine!" - "It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon." 82. "What's that smell?" - "Sorry." 83. "I've got nothing left to lose." 84. "Monsters aren't real." 85. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" 86. "That wasn't a request, it's an order." 87. "You go first." - "Why do I always have to go first?" 88. "Can you just leave?" - "I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me." 89. "I don't really have a choice, do I?" 90. "I found him in the [blank]... Asleep." 91. "Say please." - "How about 'fuck off'? Will that do?" 92. "What would be the fun in that?" 93. "I don't trust you." - "Good. You shouldn't." 94. "You planned this from the start, didn't you?" 95. "You can't just sit in your room and listen to break-up songs for three days straight." 96. "Why are you doing this to me?" 97. "You are the last person I want to talk to right now." 98. "Don't think I'm gonna start being nice to you now just because you [blank]." 99. "Am I drunk?" 100. "Everyone keeps telling me I should stay away from you."