#death only made him sassier

[neptnzz]

self-repost of a ghostscream I drew a while ago, but I still like it a LOT >:-) he’s Aesthetic ✨✨

I like the idea of him havin ghostly hologram wings don’t look at me

[smolvenger]

Stella of Essex or The Vicar's Wife Betrayed Series. Chapter 13- Birdsfoot Trefoil

A Fix-It Fanfiction Series based off of The Essex Serpent

Pairing: Some Stella Ransome/Will Ransome but focusing on the tragedy of their marriage and the angst from his cheating. Stella Ransome/Male OC: Harry Cavaradossi.

Series Summary: The Essex Serpent is reimagined and told from the perspective of Stella Ransome. And with a new ending. Stella must come to terms with not only her mortality but her husband's heartbreaking affair. A portrait of a woman who became The Ideal Lady her time and marriage required her to be. A picture of a marriage of love and bliss torn apart by a husband's infidelity. And Stella herself in the center of it all, torn between a wife's duty and her own quiet but present rage. Where in the midst of devastating heartbreak she gains her strength, finds her voice, and dares to seek freedom, hope...and even revenge.

Chapter Summary: Stella and William Ransome are reunited. The unfaithful husband Will learns that every English Rose has its thorns.

Prologue//One//Two//Three//Four//Five//Six//Seven//Eight//Nine//

Ten//Eleven//Twelve

If you like this, buy me a Ko-Fi

A03 Link

A/N: The Last Image is again from @crescentmoons-and-stardustust and their beautiful moldboard so go follow them. And here we go! Stella confronts Will about his cheating and drama goes down! If you like this, comments, reblogs, asks, and messages are appreciated!

Content Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH (sorry not sorry), Description of Major Character Injury, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Good For Her Cinematic Universe Submission, Me Supporting Women's Rights and Wrongs, Victorian Era Attitudes, Drinking, Illness, Religion, Descriptions of blood and gross stuff briefly, mentions of death and dying, Cheating and The Psychological Trauma of being The One Cheated On is portrayed and Discussed And the cheated on wife finally gets some justice, Will being an Asshole, Stella being sassier than she is in canon, (but that's character development baby), swearing, canon divergence, references to the show adaptation are thrown in, and police appear in at the very end. Being Anti-Will Ransome and Anti-C*ra so if you like those characters or the pairing you have been warned.

"I have been wronged. You listen to me, and tell me if my grief is excessive. He was everything to me, and is gone, my own husband, transformed into a serpent, slithering from my bed to another, leaving me abandoned, alone. The fate of a wife."- Medea by Euripides, Translation and Adaptation by Ben Power

“And the LORD discomfited Sisera, and all his chariots, and all his host, with the edge of the sword before Barak; so that Sisera lighted down off his chariot and fled away on his feet…Howbeit Sisera fled away on his feet to the tent of Jael the wife of Heber the Kenite…And Jael went out to meet Sisera, and said unto him, Turn in, my lord, turn in to me; fear not. And when he had turned in unto her into the tent, she covered him with a mantle. And he said unto her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water to drink; for I am thirsty. And she opened a bottle of milk, and gave him drink, and covered him. Again he said unto her, Stand in the door of the tent, and it shall be, when any man doth come and enquire of thee, and say, Is there any man here? that thou shalt say, no. Then Jael Heber's wife took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground: for he was fast asleep and weary. So he died.” – Judges 4:15-21 KJV

“Stella?” he asked from behind.

“It’s me” I answered.

William opened the door.

His white shirt was open almost down to his toned stomach. I could see the hair on his chest. The chest I rested my head on for so many nights. I could see some of his toned stomach. All part of a body that once made love to me almost twice a day. And over it, a tan overcoat. His one blue eye looked at me, the right socket covered with a pirate-like eye patch. He looked stunningly handsome when he was disheveled. On the end of the right sleeve, I could see bandages, fresh and white, over the stub. Though his face looked tired and weathered. Even a little old. But still handsome as the day I met him.

I looked back at my siblings and Harry. They tipped their heads goodbye. Then my siblings got into the carriage, and it drove away.

“Come in, Stella…I’ll take your bags to your room,” he offered.

He reached down and picked up one bag with his left hand and then retreated inside. I followed him. He vanished into a room on the left, I just looked around the place.

The room was bitterly cold. It all looked very grey despite the sunshine coming in from outside. At the end of the entrance hall, was a parlor. I wandered down there. It had a window decorated with white curtains. In front, there was a small brown table and two chairs. On top of the table were stacks of books, pens, some stationery, an unopened bottle of sherry, two clean little glass cups for the sherry, two Bibles, reading glasses, and a little clock to tell the time.

I heard him go out, get my other bag, and then he closed the front door. But I turned to face him. He dropped the bag and ambled toward me. We looked at each other. He then went up to embrace me and I let myself melt into it. I teared up a little. I forgot how much I still loved him.

“Hello, Stella…” he said softly.

“Hello, William…” I spoke.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Yes, you can.”

He kissed me tenderly on the lips. Then cupped my face. His thumb wiped off a tear of mine. I could see he was crying too. I saw the man who I fell in love with all those years ago. The man I still both loved and hated with all my heart.

“You never answered my letters,” he commented.

“There was too much to say…” I answered.

He kissed my forehead. He continued to hug me, pressing me to him. I looked at the table, resting the side of my head on him.

“I…I felt…just so sad and so angry when I read them… I couldn’t answer them,” I explained.

I then looked up at him.

“Do you know how much I love you? I was only angry and sad because of how much I love you. But I’m here now…” I whispered.

He smiled at me.

“You’re an angel from heaven, Stella,�� he said.

“I’m also a woman, William.”

He let go and then took my hand his left one.

“Here, I’ll lead you to bed…” he offered.

He took my hand. And lead me to the little bedroom. I saw my bag and suitcase were already on the floor, near my usual right side of the bed. He led me to the right side and I sat down on it.

“You exerted yourself a lot by traveling today…try and get some rest…” he suggested.

“What’s near this house?” I asked, lowering my head onto the pillow.

I looked out the window to my right. There were thick white curtains hiding the outside. A cloud had covered the sun and the room looked like it was already evening even though it was ten in the morning.

“There’s a pharmacy, a grocer…anything we could need… we’re in the center of town…”

“I think tomorrow…I’d like to go to the grocers…” I requested.

He knelt beside me.

“Really? I think you need to stay in bed!” he replied.

“I find when I move around outside in the air, I feel better, Will…” I added on.

“If you say so, my dear.”

“If you give me some money…then I can buy us some things for dinner tomorrow when I go to the grocer…”

“There is food now. What I can make…” he answered, gesturing to his right stub.

“I can still cook. Let me cook, Will, I want this to be just like the old days…” I spoke.

“Yes, I promise you, it shall be….” He assured me.

I coughed some. He brought me a handkerchief to cling to.

“I’m going to the table to do some reading; I’ll be right back. Let me know if you need anything.” He said before exiting.

I noticed a desk in the room. It was kept very neat. No stacks of papers anywhere. I got up, took my bag, and hid it under the bed. I placed my suitcase in front of it and pushed it to a far corner. Where only my small hands and not his large ones could reach. William returned with tea and gruel. They tasted cold and bland.

“Are you called to serve at another church in London?” I asked.

“No. I’ve been visiting them and the officials in town. But that’s not why,” he explained.

“So why are you here?” I asked.

“For you, Stella…”

He sat by me. I didn’t touch my tea or gruel. I handed the plate and cup. He took each, one by one, to sit on the desk. I heard the clock ticking from the other room.

“Do you…do you want to talk about it…” he suggested quietly.

A lump gathered in my throat. The words were making my voice break.

“No. I’m not ready to talk about her yet…I just want to be with you for now…” I answered.

“Then, I’ll be with you. But in an hour, I need to head out. I…I am going to churches here. Making use of my time. Seeing the vicars and bishops there, talking to them. Might as well. I’m going there…will you be back when I’m gone?”

“I will be. I’m not going anywhere,” I promised.

He got dressed from his white shirt into his black pants, black shirt, and black jacket, and pulled the small white flap through his collar.

“Hopefully, with enough effort, I can rise to the rank of bishop…” he confided in me.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then left.

I knew better than to believe him. Even if he was visiting the other clergy in town, there was someone else he was seeing. And not for holy reasons. I went to the desk, I tried to open the drawers. They were locked. It wasn’t a wild guess of mine what was inside. I glanced at the bag under the bed.

Not now, not now my thoughts warned.

Wait. You will know. He wants a sweet, devoted, loyal wife who will think of him and not herself. And that’s the part you must play. Lure him in. Then, when he believes you are his submissive wife... when the moment is right...

He returned in the evening at about half-past five. I didn’t ask him where he went or what he did.

I only said, “Hello darling…”

I got up, in my nightgown and dressing robe. I greeted him at the door with a kiss.

“Here…have let me make you some tea or sherry…which would you prefer?”

“I think I would prefer sherry tonight…”

“I’d like some too…” I said.

We walked over to the table.

“You never used to drink…” he commented.

“I think it will calm me…and I’ve been feeling nervous lately…” I replied.

“It calms me too, that’s why it’s my favorite. So typical of a vicar!” he joked.

We went to the table. I poured two glasses and handed one to him. He raised one.

“Let’s toast…to happiness…” he said.

“To happiness…” I repeated.

We both took our first sips. He smiled at me, wearily.

“I missed you, my Stella, my star…” he spoke.

I swirled the liquid and observed the glass. It was the same from home. It was decorated with the sun rising the cup with a thin handle that spread at the bottom.

“If Stella means star, then what does the name William mean?” I asked.

“It means the will or desire…” he explained.

“You always had a strong will indeed. And you have the desire too, so it suits you…” I commented.

He immediately began to clutch my hand and kiss it, interrupting the rest of that thought.

“Only from how badly I desire you, my darling!”

I said nothing, finishing my sherry in three quiet sips.

“There are pork chops in the kitchen, I saw them…I’ll cook them up…” I offered.

“Stella, you need to rest…” he protested.

“I’m alright…let me move around, Will. It makes me feel better when I get to move a little…I’ll cook for you…”

I put the chops on the frying pan on the stove and turned it on. Once they were cooked, I served them with carrots, rolls with butter, and half a pear for each of us. There was another larger dinner table off to the side with two chairs. We started to eat. He stabbed at his food with a fork, lifting it to his mouth.

“May I ask…what…what happened to your hand?” I asked.

“Fanny,” he replied plainly.

“And your eye?” I asked, trying not to smile.

“Mrs. Taylor.”

The clock continued ticking. It was seven-thirty in the evening now.

“Do any of the church officials ask what happened?”

“Only the ones that know me.”

“And what do you tell them?” I asked, biting into my soft pear.

“Burglar.”

He paused, setting down the pork that was halfway to his mouth back onto his plate.

“Your friends love you…” he commented.

I wiped my mouth with the napkin on my lap.

“Do you love me?” I asked.

“Yes, I do…”

We went to bed. I changed into another nightgown, and he put on some of his night clothes. He kept saying he was cold at night. We slept. I woke up at six the next morning and he was gone from bed. He returned at ten o clock. He used to leave at eight to walk and return at nine.

“You still walk every morning?” I asked.

“Yes. Old habit.”

I didn’t ask why he took so long.

“I need to write…would you please leave me alone in the room for an hour, Stella?” he asked.

“Yes…I’ll get a book and my sewing…” I replied.

Again, I didn’t ask why. The reason was obvious.

I would read when all was quiet. The only book of Dante’s I chose to bring with me was a collection of mysteries and detective stories. Often, I’d re-read them once I finished one.

After he finished writing, I noticed that he hid the letters beneath his coat. He went out to mail them. Then he returned.

A doctor would visit. Or one of my siblings. My siblings would talk to me for half an hour. William only accompanied us silently. Discussing only polite subjects, not the ones we all wished to speak of. Harry never visited, but he sent us a bottle of wine for our home. There was a card explaining his absence for the week: his father’s heart was discovered to be in bad condition.

Every day was the same. William returned from his morning walks. He’d use the room to write letters and exile me to the parlor. I’d read. I’d have a guest or the doctor. Then he’d go out for his business, leaving me some money.

Every other day, William would leave money for whatever I wanted for dinner that night. Though he had a key, he kept the door unlocked for me. I’d change from my nightgown to my normal blue dress. After he would leave for his business and The Woman in the early afternoon, I would walk outside. I would bring a book or my sewing in my coat pocket. I would read or sew for about half an hour. I also liked to watch the London people around me sometimes.

I would go to the grocer’s store in the second block over. His name was Mr. Poole. He was a youth, just twenty years old. Scrawny with red hair, only thrilled to work for his father’s business and was willing to show off his long-acquired knowledge of food.

“I’m having a small fish for dinner for my husband, what else goes good with small fish? I also need some more sherry, please,” I would ask.

He would tell me in a chipper tone of voice, and I would buy it. He was pleasant company, I found.

Then I would go home. Wait for him. He’d return. Practically beaming from how his greyish blue eyes shone at me.

“Hello Stella, my dear,” he’d greet.

“Hello Will, my darling.” I’d say.

I’d kiss him. Then I poured us both a glass of sherry. Then I began to cook dinner. We’d eat. We’d have a glass of Harry’s wine with our meal. We’d talk about the children, especially during this.

“I must tell you…Joanna is the one who won’t write to me, much less talk to me anymore,” he told me on the third evening.

“Really…” I mumbled.

“Every day she grows bigger, and every day she looks more and more like you…”

He cried a little.

“You’re not even dead yet, and yet you already haunt me…”

Then we’d go to bed. On the fourth night, I nudged him in the dark until he awoke. “William… want you to make love to me, make love to your wife…at least one more time…” I pleaded.

Please love me. Just once. Change my mind. Now is your chance, Will. Please change my mind before I do this, I thought.

He shook his curly head.

“No…it’ll risk your health. You know you’re too weak to, now. And I might get it too…” he refused.

But he kissed and cuddled me instead until he fell asleep. I carefully slipped out of his arms and opened the curtains for the moonlight. He fell asleep on his back. Gingerly, I nudged the corners of the collar of his shirt to see his skin. There were hickeys and lip stains on his neck and chest.

At the fifth dinner, he discussed ideas about my funeral with me. I told him what I would approve of. If there was a suggestion I didn’t like, I didn’t tell him.

Then I said “Will…I don’t want to be married to you anymore…could you please divorce me?”

He looked at me and shook his head.

“Stella, your life is about to end very, very soon. It’s too late for that…”

The bed, though not the one from Aldwinter, still felt hard and cold to me. Every room in that house was cold. And his embraces were warm, but once he was asleep, I would soon be back to shivering.

It was a repetition of this. Day in and out. I felt like a clockwork figurine doing its dance per hour and then returning inside.

The seventh dinner was lamb with walnuts and asparagus. We finished the bottle of wine.

“I’ve missed you…I cannot wait until we return home, Stella…perhaps you can die back in your bed…” he sighed.

I took the last sip of my wine. He flashed a smile. His eye twinkled.

“Will…I have one more question…will you…will you end things with her?” I asked.

There were tears in my eyes. I wiped them off with my napkin and then put it back on my lap.

“You know I can’t, Stella. And you don’t need to make such a fuss about it like you did back home.”

He ate his lamb chop and wiped off the sauce from his beard. I didn’t have the appetite to finish my own plate.

On the eighth day, there was no doctor and no visitors. William went out again for his morning walk and said he would continue to his business. He wouldn’t be home until evening, he told me. When I looked outside, it was another cold, cloudy, grey day. After he left, I drank two cups of coffee, and then the pain returned to my chest. The room spun for a minute. I coughed out a lot of blood onto my handkerchief. As I was washing it off in the kitchen, a thought struck me like lightning.

Today could be the day you die, Stella. Each day, you’re getting weaker and weaker. You know it. This could be it.

The moment is here. It’s now or never.

I went to the bed and retrieved my bag from underneath it. I pulled out the jar. I poured all of it into our new bottle of sherry. Then I sealed the lid, placed it in my bag, and hid it under the bed.

He came home at five. A little earlier than normal. I was still in my white nightgown from dozing and being in bed for most of the day. He was in his black vicar suit.

“Hello Stella, ” he greeted with a large smile.

“Hello William,” I said with a practiced smile.

I gave him an embrace- him in black, me in my white nightgown. I pecked his pink, warm lips. I noticed the circles under his eye. From out of the pockets of his black pants, I saw the corner of a letter sticking out.

“Why don’t you sit down, you look tired…” I offered.

“I have had such trouble sleeping last night…and today was so busy…” he complained with a sigh.

I took his arm and walked him to the table.

“Here…you can relax now…”

He plopped down on his chair. The one that was mine was closer to the kitchen, to the right. His was on the left.

“Could you pour me some sherry, darling wife?” he asked.

“Yes.”

I got one of the glasses and poured him a drink, handing it to him. He sipped at it.

“Would you like me to start dinner?” I asked.

“No…”

“It’s chicken with rice tonight…” I told him.

He another sip at the sherry. It rested in his large hand, and he stared down at it. His smile dropped.

“I want to talk about her, Stella…” he confessed.

I sat down on my chair. My heart was beginning to race, and my hands were sweating a little.

“I do too,” I confirmed politely.

He downed the glass. I eyed the stub on the other end.

“Did you pleasure her with your right hand?” I asked.

His face shot up at me in surprise. He didn’t answer. I didn’t need him to. Then his eyes softened.

“You always were so good, Stella, I don’t deserve you,” he said.

“You’re right, you don’t.”

His lips were tightly pressed together.

“Why did you leave me?” he asked.

“You know why,” I answered.

Then he placed his left hand on his forehead.

“My head hurts…Stella, you must listen to me and have pity on me, on how hard this all has been for me…more sherry, please…” he complained.

I poured him another glass and returned to my chair. He began to nurse it.

“Hard for you?” I hissed, trying to contain the urge to yell.

I folded my hands on my lap and looked directly at him.

“Don’t you remember our marriage vows? You’re the one who leads weddings all the time- you should have them memorized at this point. You promised you would forsake all others, save me, in sickness and in health- in sickness and in health, Will! Every Sunday, you spoke of kindness, love, and putting another person’s needs above your own. You didn’t have to sleep with her. No one was forcing you to sleep with her. You could have put my own needs before your own- and you did not!”

My heart was racing, and I felt hot. His eye was shiny. His beautiful face seemed more lined, weathered, and tired, if not older. At almost forty-one, he was looking his age. I continued.

“You dared to break your own marriage vows- a sacred oath you made not just before the law, not just before everyone in town, but before God! If this is how you behave as a vicar, what kind of bishop will you be?”

His face turned red.

“I didn’t know this would happen…I didn’t know I would meet a woman like her…She’s… she’s different from any other woman!” he cried.

“What’s so wrong about other women?” I asked.

He took another sip of sherry. His grip tightened on the glass and his nostrils flared.

“You married me…not her…did you forget that? Did you ever consider how I would feel about it? What it would be like for me? That I would be hurt?”

“Darling, you said-“

I interrupted his next words, despite my breaking voice.

“I love you, Will…but I’m not your only love. And you promised me you would be.”

He finished his drink, setting it down.

“I remember when I visited you and your family before we were betrothed. You told me one of your favorite books was Pride and Prejudice. So, I read it for you. I wanted to be your Mr. Darcy…act like him, perhaps even look like him!”

My eyes began to blink away tears and my voice was shaking.

“Mr. Darcy wouldn’t sleep with Charlotte Lucas once Elizabeth was sick…”

He scoffed. I heard him exhale deeply. His voice was low and sonorous, the one that once I swooned over now made me want to spit.

“Then again…you fit Jane, far more than Elizabeth- Jane would forgive Mr. Bingley and return to him…I loved you for that. You are a Jane Bennet. You always were. Soft, sweet, selfless…”

I took in a breath and looked at the floor. I looked at the sherry bottle, then the clock, and then back at him.

“Is your lover more your kind of woman? I thought you married me because I’d fit being a clergy wife…but I guess you lied to me then. Was that who you wanted me to be this whole time?” I asked.

“I need more sherry, please…”

I poured him another.

“My heart’s racing right now…and I feel as if I could get sick and vomit from my grief…you torture me, Stella, my star…You’re forgetting several things too, Stella. You wanted me to be with her. You encouraged me to be with her. When you told me to go and dance with her, it was an act of romantic, loving, marital sacrifice…”

“Sacrifice, William?”

I met him in the eye. I no longer let my rage contain itself.

“I’ve sacrificed for you our entire marriage!”

I leaned closer to him, my hand gripping the desk and my other hand curled into a fist.

“I gave you my devotion, my time, my energy, my youth, my virginity, my prayers, my life, and my body countless times!”

I felt my voice raise.

“I bore you five children! Five! Did you forget? And did you forget when we lost Josephine and Julianna? That I carried and bore them as well! One died in my stomach and the other in my arms! There was always a baby in the house for years-I was pregnant five times in less than a decade! That’s about four years of my life with a living person inside of me! And as careful as we were, I still…still gave into your desires, the very acts that could get me pregnant again, because I wanted to please you! So, I bore five children in less than a decade, knowing I could die in the process!”

I took in a breath, wiped off the tears, and continued.

“I did everything for you and asked for nothing but your love and fidelity in return. I bore you five children, I helped your ministry, your church- made myself the very wife you needed me to be for God, for your church, for Aldwinter, and most of all for you! And you repay me by falling in love with another woman and acting on it?”

“Stella, I…”

“You could go to church early. You could go on your morning walks. You could search and hunt for the Serpent, alone or with her. I couldn’t join you- why? Because had to look after the three children? Me! I was the one! I was the one looking after them, dressing, feeding, watching, and bathing them while you run off to the forest to pleasure her against trees!”

He slammed a fist on the table.

“You told me to dance with her!” he argued.

The words blubbered out of me. My hands would not stop shaking and the tears would not stop from my eyes.

“Dancing is not…the same…as lovemaking, Will.”

He dropped his jaw. Then he downed the sherry in one gulp.

“Stella, listen…”

My voice lowered, but I would not stop speaking.

“No, you listen! I told you to dance with her, not to sleep with her! How hard can that be to understand?” I asked.

His jaw tightened. I glanced at the clock again, and then back at him.

“Stella, you have consumption! You were lying in bed, coughing out blood! And…it broke my heart to see you like this!” he continued.

“You think you’re the one with a broken heart!? You slept with her, just because you couldn’t sleep with me- your wife! You wouldn’t even make love to me the other night…and even now, after all this, you’re still seeing her…” I countered.

He sighed again. His eye drooped and closed. He raised the inner ends of his eyebrows.

“Stella…I…I love you…but the problem is I love her too…I love C-“

“Don’t you dare speak her name! I cannot stand that heartless bitch!” I interrupted.

“STELLA!” he shouted.

I flinched back further into my seat. But it felt freeing to finally curse. The aftertaste of it was sweet.

“You…I…I never heard you speak like this…I have never heard you curse…I never saw you angry, I never thought you were capable of hating anyone…” he wondered.

I took a quick glance at the clock on the table, then back at him. He placed a hand on his face and then lowered it back to the table. I saw it fall over one of his brown Bibles.

“I…I didn’t think, didn’t imagine, you’d find out about me and her," he reasoned.

He looked at it for a bit and then turned back to face me. I noticed his hair looked wilder. Probably the wind outside.

“But I did. Why…why didn’t you tell me, or confide in me, that you were struggling with lust for her? Then at least you’d be an honest man. I could have helped you- pray for you, even! I’d pray every day for your struggles with your temptations…” I responded.

“If I told you then, you would have died on the spot. You would have died of both consumption and a broken heart,” he explained.

“I found out still. And here I am. Still alive.” I retorted.

He reached out his hand. I did not take it, keeping my own on my lap.

“I ask for your pity…I was so tormented, so full of grief for you…”

A bit of light from the sun shone from the outside, the windows seemed to glow. The days were getting longer at last. At last, the eternal winter of The Serpent was going to end. Spring would be here so soon.

“And you forget one important thing," William began.

He reached over with his left hand and touched my arm in pity.

“You’re dying, Stella.”

“So are you, William.”

He blinked at me. I let myself smile.

“What do you mean I’m-“

He began to cough suddenly. Violently. He looked down at his hand- there was a lot of blood. As he got up to stand, his legs gave in, and he fell onto the floor.

“What am I dying of? Do you know? Tell me!” he pleaded.

He then looked at the bottle of sherry, and then at me. I folded my arms, looking down at him.

“Cyanide. Even a little is fatal. And you just drank three glasses.”

His fists were clenched and white. He coughed more. His black sleeve was stained with blood.

“Murder is a cardinal sin, Stella…” he said.

“Adultery is a cardinal sin, William…” I replied.

He began to vomit out blood and it fell onto the floor. It was getting to be a puddle. I lifted the skirt of my nightgown so it would not be stained and took a step back.

“Should I fetch a man on the street and stick my hand down his pants in front of you, so you know how it feels to be me now?” I asked quietly.

He looked up at me and I down at him.

“Not you… Not that sweet, delicate girl I met, not my Stella…of all…you…you to be the one to…to…to kill me...” he hissed.

I shushed him like a child. His eye was brimming with amazed and angry tears.

“Do not speak, before you die, I must tell you something…” I whispered.

Blood poured down his mouth, down his beard. He kept quiet. I took a step back to avoid the pooling blood. And I kept speaking, low enough so only he could hear.

“I’ve learned something else. All this time these past few months, everyone in Aldwinter was so frightened of the Serpent. That thing that ruined lives, the monster, the creature, the destroyer of Paradise, the Devil himself, the Leviathan in our ocean, the Aldwinter snake, the threat of Essex…yes, some found a boat and others a whale that left those tracks, but…I’ve realized something. There actually was a Serpent in Essex…”

I kept my distance but looked right into his eye and he into mine. The last thing he would see. The last words he would ever hear.

“You, William. The Serpent was always you.”

He collapsed his head onto the floor. His curly head shook with cough and vomiting, the blood beneath him continuing to spread. Then he stopped and was still.

He was dead. At long last, he was dead.

I went to my room, and from my hidden bag I pulled out the empty poison bottle. From one of my journals, I got out an excerpt of the draft of his letter to The Woman. I then returned to the room with his corpse and the table.

I placed them next to the empty jar of sherry on the table.

I went to our bedroom again. I changed from my nightgown into one of my blue dresses. I did my hair. I got the money he usually left in the kitchen for groceries and my embroidery of some bluebirds flying freely in the wind. I put them in the pockets of my blue coat, put on my blue hat, and blue scarf, and then tied on shoes.

“Will, I’m going out to sew outside and then to the grocer for dinner, I’ll see you soon, my love!” I called out, closing the door.

I walked out to the bench. For half an hour, I pulled out embroidery and continued working on it. Sewing more furiously than I ever had before. But it made my hands stop shaking. Then I went to the grocer.

“Hello Mr.Poole,” I said, feeling like an actress in a play.

“Hello, Mrs. Ransome!"

“I’m fixing chicken with rice tonight…what else will I need?” I asked.

He listed it out and I listened to him. We chatted about the dinner- the side dishes and even what fruit or dessert to consider. Then I asked him about his family and the history of the store. I coughed into my sleeve, but no blood. I took my time with him to discuss food and his family. I purchased it all and thanked him.

I gathered the bags and walked back with a practiced, happy smile. I thought of a hymn and began humming it. I reached the door and knocked.

“Will! Will, I’m home! Will, I have dinner! And your favorite- apples! My arms are full, could you let me in?” I asked out loud.

Nothing.

“Will… I need to sit for a while, I’m losing my breath-could you open the door, please, darling?”

Nothing.

With one hand, I turned the doorknob open, I turned my head around, looking for him.

“Will? Will! Will!” I called out.

I then looked down at the body. I dropped the groceries and let out a scream.

This time, I allowed myself the grief. I leaned down, embraced his body, and began to sob over it. Real, genuine, sobs. No pretending. No practiced lines or faces. Real sobbing over the man I adored beyond myself, the father of my children, the love of almost half of my life, and at once the great villain, the traitor of everything, my prisoner, the man who had become my idol who transformed into my tormenter. My husband, the Serpent.

I traced my hand over his features- his cheekbones, his lips, his beard, the curly reddish-blonde hair.

“Hello, Mr. Ransome! Mr. Ransome, I heard a scream! Is your wife alright? Mr. Ransome!” a voice cried out from outside.

There were fast footsteps towards the door that was left open. I turned my head around to see Harry with a bottle of wine with a bow in his hand. He saw the fallen groceries and then me, cradling William’s body.

“Oh shit! Oh God!” he screamed.

“Harry! Please! Get the police! Help! Help me at once- I think he’s dead! William’s dead!” I pleaded with snotty tears.

The police and a detective arrived, Harry right behind them.

“What is your name? And who is the deceased?” the first policeman asked me.

“M-My name is Stella Ransome…and my husband…his name…his name is…was…William. William Ransome, and he was a vicar and we lived in Aldwinter…”

The police were flying by me like bees. One leaned down with a sheet. I leaned down, and through tears, I gave my husband a last kiss on the forehead.

“Goodbye, Will,” I whispered, closing his eye.

May you be in hell now, I thought.

He placed the sheet over William’s body, and I stood up, backing away. The policemen after searching the rooms reached beneath the white sheet and searched through his blood-stained clothes and pulled out the letter. They opened it and read it.

“We are so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Ransome,” the detective said, lowering his cap.

I had to be very careful. And choose my words. This evening would determine my fate and a wrong step would land me in a prison cell.

The detective went over to examine the two bottles and the cups, as well as the sheet of paper. My heart was roaring in my ears. My whole body felt tense. The first policeman took off his cap too and expressed his sympathy, but then adjusted it back on. The detective searched around the room for a quarter of an hour, and then returned to me.

“Let her sit down…we have more unpleasant news for her. But she needs to hear it.”

Harry led me to what was once William’s chair- and I sat down.

“Mrs. Ransome…it seems like there was…was cyanide in his sherry. He poured a whole bottle of it inside and then drank it,” the detective reported.

“And not a drop to spare for me?” I asked.

“No…but…do you have children, Mrs. Ransome?” asked the detective.

“Yes…we have three beautiful children back in Aldwinter…” I answered.

The detective offered his hand, and I accepted it, then he squeezed it, his eyes were kind.

“Then you need to be alive for them…they need you now more than ever. Did you know there was poison in the house?”

I burst into tears and said, “No, I didn’t!"

“Did you see this paper on the table?” he asked, pulling up the scrap.

I wiped my tears aside and shook my head.

“N-N-no…I just ran to his body… I loved him so much!” I answered.

“It reads this-, just so you know…it’s a suicide note, for sure, but even the content inside could be shocking. Prepare yourself, Mrs. Ransome…”

The detective cleared his throat and read out loud:

“I feel so torn and tormented. I feel so torn between my saintly, dying wife and the love of my life. I feel as though I would rather die than be torn between two women I love so much!”

I put a hand over my mouth. He handed it in front of me to read. I stared at the paper with two hands.

“What were you doing an hour ago?” the first policeman asked.

“I was outside, sewing like I usually do. And I was getting his dinner at the grocer's. The kind he likes.”

“Did you know he had a mistress, Mrs. Ransome? We found a letter from another woman in his other pocket…” He explained.

“…Yes, yes I did…but…I thought…”

I sighed. The detective gave me a handkerchief. It was shaking in my hands. I kept crying into it.

“If I just made this house a perfect home…he’d say he was sorry and promise to love me like he always did…that he would leave her for good and be with me…it was perfect, we were even going to go back later this week…”

“And what were you doing in London?” The detective asked gently

“I was here to see certain doctors for my consumption. My husband joined sometime later,” I answered plainly. It was the truth after all.

“Mrs. Ransome, what were you doing an hour ago?” the policeman asked sternly.

“I was out walking and getting air for my health I sat on a bench to sew like I usually do. Then I went to the Poole’s grocery stop. I got us food for our dinner tonight, then I returned home and found his body bleeding…” I reported.

The detective observed the scene and clicked his tongue. The letter and the paper were in his hands. Then he sat in the other chair and looked at me.

“He drank poisoned sherry while you were gone. The guilt of having a mistress out of you- and you are such a sweet, innocent woman! And in bad health too! That… must have been why. So, he got out the poison he hid from you, put it in his sherry, and drank it… The body is still freshly dead. This is a textbook suicide case if I ever saw one,” he said.

I put my head in my hands and cried. Harry pulled a chair to sit by my side.

The detective observed the scene and clicked his tongue. The letter and the paper were in his hands. Then he sat in the other chair and looked at me.

“He drank poisoned sherry while you were gone. The guilt of having a mistress out of you- and you are such a sweet, innocent woman! And in bad health too! That… must have been why. So, he got out the poison he hid from you, put it in his sherry, and drank it… The body is still freshly dead. This is a textbook suicide case if I ever saw one,” he said.

I put my head in my hands and cried. Harry pulled a chair to sit by my side.

“Tragedies are just a part of life, Mrs. Ransome, makes sense for a woman to cry at this, though,” The policeman said coldly.

“Here, I’ll make you tea if you’re alright by that.” The detective offered.

“I would.”

I heard him talking to one of the officers in the kitchen as the kettle whistled.

“Poor lady, poor Widow Ransome…”

Widow…the word felt new. There was one way I and the Woman were now equal. London had freed us of our husbands. Each man was cruel in his own way.

He returned with tea, and I drank it. The saucer kept shaking in my hand and Harry had to hold it for me. He kept quiet the entire time. The first policeman went up to me.

“We’ll send a telegram. The children must know their father is dead. Would you like to stay with any of the family you have in town, Widow Ransome? Would you rather stay over there than here?”

“Yes, please."

“I could escort you there,” Harry offered.

The policeman let out a little laugh.

“Mr. Cavaradossi! Surprisingly noble of you! Tell me- which revel did you just return from?”

“A rather boring one, compared to this, I must confess…I know the home address of one of her brothers, Mr. Dante Harris. He's a friend of mine. Let me escort her there…” he offered.

The detective stepped forward.

“Widow Ransome… I’ll escort you too. I’ll pay for a taxi for us, too,” he offered.

“Yes, I’d like that. Let me get my bag and a few things for the night. Mr. Cavaradossi…could you help? Tomorrow, could you bring my other things to be returned to me tomorrow?”

Now, finally, they were truly my things.

“Yes, of course,” Harry agreed.

I filled the bag with clothes for the next day, the book of detective stories, and one of my flower journals. As they walked me out, I heard voices with clicking tongues of the policemen inside.

“A vicar sinning first by adultery…and then another sin by killing himself! He must be damned by now from all that…isn’t that what the Bible says about suicide?” I heard the first policeman.

“When love and lust are involved, Bible verses get forgotten, Mr. Stevens…but you heard what she said when we told her it was poison. She is a true wife-wanting to follow her husband to death! No wonder he felt so guilty…” another replied.

Harry and a policeman walked me into a taxi. The three of us sat in silence the whole ride. The taxi stopped in front of Dante’s home.

“Be careful with the lady, she’s had a nightmare of a day, Mr. Cavaradossi. She lost a husband she loved; you know…” the detective warned.

Harry nodded. He handed me my bag.

“I’ll see her inside. Could you go to Dante’s workplace and let him know his sister is there and why? I’ll come back and give you an address and join you,” he suggested.

The detective nodded.

Harry helped me upstairs to the guest room that was now to finally be mine. Then he fetched a glass of cold water and gave it to me.

“Do you need anything before I go?” he asked.

“I need coals for the fireplace. I feel cold…” I answered.

He left and returned with some coals and fireplace tools. He put the coals into the opening. I poked at it with a poker until the flames were born.

“Anything else? I’m afraid my wine bottle is still over there, else I’d give you some. Thank heavens I didn't drop it! I can go retrieve the wine if you like after we tell your brother. You can help yourself after!” he offered.

“I’d like that. I also… need to be alone to process this…to process that my husband…k-k-k-killed himself…” I stuttered.

“Of course, I will see you later, Stella,” he said.

He closed the door. I heard him go down the stairs and shut the front door. Once alone, I finished the glass of water, sitting by the fireplace to warm myself from the cold drink. I set the glass aside, kneeled on the floor, pressed my hands together, and now alone, out loud, I began to pray.

“Dear God, I confess, I am a murderer.”

I then prayed the confession that I recited every Sunday all my life. I spoke quietly, but with every bit of emotion going through me right now. I had to cleanse myself before God if I were to die soon, as William said.

“Most merciful God, I confess that I have sinned against you in thought, word, and now deed…I am truly sorry and I humbly repent. For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on me and forgive me; that I may delight in your will, and walk in your way, to the glory of your name, Amen.”

I reached into the bag with the flower journals. I opened it and took out the letter and the note- one that went with the cyanide encouraging me to kill myself for my husband. To die so he could be with his lover. To die for his happiness.

I reread it. And laughed heartily at it.

I tossed the small note that went with the poison into the fireplace. Then the long pages, one by one. I watched as each of them was destroyed. The bottom of the flames was blue. I smiled.

[manias-wordcount]

Mmmm, giiiiiirl, i loooove the way you write for link aaaah. The fic abt the house keeper? Rejuvenated my s o u l. Anywhosies, I was wondering if I could request a Link x Reader fic where she and him have been travel partners and friends for a while and she is patching him up. The reader would be more on the sassier side and v quick witted but as she is tending Link's wounds she is quiet because he did something stupid and got himself hurt. And imagine with me if you will, it's the first time Link sees the reader cry. The fluff angst romance bro,,,,,,think abt it. Thank you in advance ♡

You Over Me (Any! Link x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗮𝗮𝗮𝗮𝗮𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵! 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗮𝗮𝗮𝗵! :] 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀, 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗮 𝗴𝗼! 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴! 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴!

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 (𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗱) 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗱, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝗷𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

“Idiot!”

Tighter.

“Idiot!”

Tighter.

“IDIOT!”

Tightest.

This time, Link let out a hiss. The sound was quiet, and you almost didn’t hear it at first. But despite the volume, it perfectly portrayed the pain he must have felt. Though, you couldn’t tell if it’s from the way you wrapped his gauze, your sudden rise in volume, or your purposely rough cleaning of his latest stomach stab wound. Not that you cared. He deserved this for what he put you through.

You’ve known the blonde all your life. Ever since the moment the two of you met, you’ve stuck to each other’s side like glue. Wherever he went, you went. In your early childhood, you were rarely seen without him. And he was rarely seen without you. What he lacked with his respectful, quiet, good boy personality- you made up for with your fiery and tough attitude. Together, the two of you made up for each other’s shortcomings. The perfect pair, the dynamic duo. You and Link.

Forever.

Then a crisis came. Death and destruction riddled the land as monsters lurked behind every corner. Innocent lives were in danger, and the side of light needed someone to protect those who were good and pure. The world had a last hope. And that last hope just so happened to be your very own Link. Even though he was still so young and only one boy, no one could argue with fate. He had a job to do, and nothing could stop him from doing what’s right. Not even countless nights of fighting, begging, tears, and shared fears. No matter what angle you looked at it, there was no way out of this. No matter how badly he still wanted to be a kid. No matter how badly he still wanted to be with you. But that wasn’t his decision to make. Neither was it yours.

So naturally, when the world needed a hero for all of Hyrule, they got your Link. And your Link got you. Because even a hero needed someone to save them too.

Suddenly, your life went from laying in the sun and ignoring chores to fighting for your life against forces you would only dream about in your nightmares. You went from brandishing dull wooden swords and pretending to be knights to always keeping a bow on your back, a hand on your knife, and a sword attached to your hip. And no matter how much you’d complain about having no food to eat and no bed to sleep on, you know you wouldn’t have changed your answer the day he asked you if you would join him. There was no way you could send him off to fight this battle alone. Because you know you would look up at the stars the two of you would sleep under every night and wonder if he was just as scared and alone as you were.

If he was even alive at that point.

That’s why every fight is a moment of anxiety that threatens to destroy you from the inside, out. Link means everything to you. He is your everything, and you’d do absolutely annoying things to keep him alive. But he’s the picture-perfect idea of a hero. The very thing he was scared he could never live up to is the same behavior he was able to fall into naturally. He’s courageous and always willing to take a stand. He’s kind in the sense that he looks out for the little guy- the ones who aren’t always able to help themselves. And he’s more than willing to sacrifice his life for the sake of another.

A good habit for a hero. A bad habit for the fated hero and Hyrule’s last hope.

“Honestly, I just don’t get how you manage to injure yourself again and again.” You find yourself exclaiming hotly as you tie the two ends of the gauze surrounding his torso together before shooting him a glare. “People give medals to those who come back from war, you know.”

The way he playful huffs at your concern is dismissive enough to make you groan aloud and flick his forehead. Though you can’t find it in you respond back as he drops his tunic from where he was holding it out of your way and sticks his tongue out at you. Instead, you hold out your hand, and he presents you with one of his, covered by a long, jagged slice down his forearm that just oozes blood.

You had seen him get hurt thousands upon thousands of times. You were the one and only witness to the moments when he refused to be pushed around. But you were also there for the moments when it seemed like he was never going to get back up again. Each time, you were his nurse. The one who cared the most about his safety when it seemed like he never did. But this time- this time hurt.

During the fight, you had heard the grunt of pain he let out when the monster aimed for his throat. He easily blocked with his hand, but at the cost of directing the knife into the one blind spot on his leather his arm guards: the point where they were tied together. You made quick work of your own foe before you were able to spare a glance in his direction. A peek just long enough to see if he was in mortal danger. What you saw was terrifying and yet so cruelly familiar. Link, lying on his back and fighting with all his strength to keep the monster’s knife from plunging further into his stomach.

With all its attention on Link, tackling the monster was easy. You were able to catch it off guard, knock away its weapon, and make a quick and easy kill. After that, there were only a few more monsters left to handle. Luckily, you were able to use their lack of coordination against them to win your fights. Above all things, you had to be quick. Link needed you right now.

But with the immediate danger gone and the adrenaline starting to die now, you were able to start focusing more clearly. You turned your head to face your best friend. He was already trying to prop himself up by leaning back on his arms just to look back at you. His left arm was the one that took the hit- you could tell by the way he gingerly avoided putting his weight on that arm. The left side of his torso was the side that was stabbed. There was no doubt in your mind that it was. The dark stain on his green tunic that seemed to grow larger and larger by the second told you all that you needed to know. And so did that sheepish, apologetic smile on his face.

He had taken another hit for you.

Again.

“You’re so reckless. And stupid.” You say as you remove the broken arm guard and begin to clean his wound. You’re angry. You’re just so upset that your chest feels heavy, and a lump gathers in your throat. And while your eyes start to water and water, you keep on scolding him because he just never realizes. When will he realize? “Honestly, I don’t know why I bother. I should just leave you behind wasting our medical supplies like this. All you do… All you do is throw your stupid life away!”

He gives you a shrug before the movement suddenly jerks into a pained wince. The old you would have laughed at him some more. The old you would have called him funny names while he’d shoot you a stink eye and tackle you down the hill. But that was the time where you both were just kids. When the worst injuries came from falling off of trees and scraping knees while racing home. That was what the old you would have done. The child you used to be.

Now, everything is so much more real. The consequences are no longer cool scars that you can show the rest of the village children. It’s life or death now. A life you could easily lose if you’re not careful. You knew that from the beginning. It’s the very reason why you choose to travel with him. So he never had to face a battle alone. So he’d never feel helplessly in pain. So there was always someone who had his back. But that required him to take care of himself too. To not view his life as worthless because he’s all the world has left. Because he’s all you have left. The world needs him, not you. And you knew that. So why...

Why…

“You’re just- you’re just so stupid!” You couldn’t hide the sob in your voice as you wrap his arm in gauze. Nor could you hide the giant tears that rolled off your cheeks like waves you used to make in the pond at home. All you could do was keep your head pointed towards the ground and avoid his gaze and hope he didn’t realize. But this was your Link that you were talking about. He knows you. He knows everything about you. He knows when you’re happy and when you’re hungry or sad. When you’re confused and when you’re angry. When you lie and when you tell the truth. And now…

And now he knows what you look like when you cry too.

You don’t fight him when he takes his injured arm and uses his hand to lift your chin up. You know you look like a mess. Your face dirty and your eyes bloodshot from all the tears you’re crying from him, but you don’t care. What you do care about is the way his blue eyes soften in surprise and remorse. Because those are eyes that are still alive. They look at you and they blink and they tell you that the body before you isn’t slowly fading and going cold. And that’s all you care about. That’s all you need. For your Link to stay alive. Your life be damned, all you wanted was him and his pulse and that would be enough. So why...

Why…

“Why can’t you just be more careful, Link? Please. I need you, Link. I need you.” You’re sniffling as you tie the final knot before dropping your hands to your lap. Even through your blurry vision, you can see the way his lips quiver in a way that mirrors his own. You’re getting to him. Your sadness, your fears, and your vulnerability. It’s reaching him this time. It’s finally reaching him. After all these close calls he finally seems to understand what you’ve been trying to say to him. You’re just glad you’re just thankful you weren’t too late. “So stop worrying about me like this! Stop hurting yourself like this! I just want you, okay? I just want you to…”

As you trail off, he’s quick to snatch into his arms and pull into the uninjured side of his torso. You fall unceremoniously onto his lap and that’s all it takes for you to break out into full-grown, ugly sobs. It wasn’t fair. Why did he keep throwing away his life for you? He was the Hero. You were just the support. The world could live on without you. But the world couldn’t turn without him. So why did he never listen? Why did he never value his own life as much as you valued his?

If only you knew...

Your fist closes around his tunic, holding tight, as he slowly strokes your hair and shushes you best he could. In reality, he got your message. He got it a long time ago. He knew from the moment you decided to come with him and venture off into the scariest and the most dangerous parts of Hyrule just for him. He always knew. Despite that, it never stopped him from doing what he thought was right in his heart. He never wished to cause you this much distress. And if he could take away all your pain, he’d do it again and again in a heartbeat. Because if only you knew...

If only you knew that he felt the absolute same about you.

[gamerwoo]

[Tales from the Pack] Seungkwan: Void (Part Eight)

Characters: Seungkwan x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, banshee au, fantasy, a little fluff but angst at the end

Word count: 1,567

Summary: Seungkwan can’t resist the urge to go searching for the banshee any longer, but his trip into the woods has him coming face-to-face with a strange girl who doesn’t seem to remember anything about where she came from or how she got where she is. The only things she knows are the things the voices she hears tell her. And that strange girl is you, his mate.

a/n: idk if y’all recall that bonus part from seungcheol’s storyline, but that happens around this time so if you haven’t read that part yet, you should after this!! i hope that weird timeline makes sense lol

Previous | Next | Void Masterlist

A few days had gone by since you’d moved in with your new pack, and it hadn’t stopped raining since. Everyone was friendly and treated you well and normally -- in that sense it was better than being back with Seungkwan’s pack. However, despite being given the cold shoulder by some, you still would’ve rather have been with Seungkwan deep down. But you never voiced that.

After dinner one night, you decided to hang out with the pack for a little bit. Not only did Luhan like excitedly talking to you, but you were pretty fond of Jongdae who always seemed to try to get you to smile. Sehun was nice as well -- a little shy at first, but nice -- and Zitao had brought home a few items of clothing from the market for you the day after you’d begun staying there. They definitely seemed thoughtful.

However, the pack had introduced you to a new pack. They said they were a pack of special werewolves, all of them having a power. They seemed nice enough, and Junmyeon had explained they were friends with them. Junmyeon mentioned some of Seungcheol’s pack were familiar with them as well, but promised this new pack wouldn’t mention anything about you to Seungkwan.

The alpha, Jiung, seemed incredibly sweet. He was a taller boy with curly dark hair that was shorter on the sides, sparkling gold eyes, and seemed to have the hints of a smile on his face all the time. His sister, Kyung, was shorter than him with her curls tied in two buns on her head, and she seemed a little sassier than the alpha. Still, she showed you nothing but kindness despite the snarky remarks toward some of Junmyeon’s pack.

“Have you been alright today?” Kyung asked you as you sat on the couch beside her.

Jiung’s pack wasn’t necessarily brought to meet you to help the pack with you or anything. They just happened to come visit and Junmyeon explained your situation. Kyung seemed to take an extra liking to you for whatever reason -- that, and she didn’t want you to feel lonely away from your mate. She didn’t really know what that felt like since she was still unmated, but she’d seen it and didn’t want some poor girl have to experience it. She understood you felt very confused about everything so she just wanted you to feel like you had someone.

You nodded, though you could never tell if it was the truth or not, “Yeah, thank you.”

“She’s been adjusting well,” Junmyeon commented with a nod.

“Other than the screaming,” Baekhyun grumbled.

It was true that you still woke up shrieking in the middle of the night, but nobody was ever sure if it meant death or if you was just trying to hear voices on a different plane -- it had always been the latter considering you hadn’t come to beside any almost-dead bodies. Either way, the screams made everyone nervous and a little bit annoyed.

“Aw, it’s not that bad…” Dae insisted, though she didn’t sound convinced herself.

“Could be worse,” Jongin agreed with a shrug. “One of us could’ve woken up dead.”

Minseok rolled his eyes, “Bad joke, Jongin.”

Kyungsoo whacked the wolf in the back of the head.

You began fidgeting with your fingers, your cheeks turning pink as you felt a little guilty. You weren’t trying to be a bother -- in fact, it was the opposite of what you wanted -- but it was something you couldn’t control.

You suddenly felt eyes on you, and looked up to see Kyung watching you.

“I-I’m sorry,” you said shyly. “It’s not something I can control…b-but I can try!”

“No, you don’t have to try,” the female wolf was quick to reassure you despite her being a guest in the house and basically having no say or authority. “You can’t help it, and they’ll have to deal with it.”

“Yeah!” Dae agreed before giving a stern look to the pack. “Leave _____ alone.”

While you seemed to be making friends well enough with this new pack, you seemed quieter to the pack – if that were possible. You rarely spoke up much, and when you did, it was only to say a few words – literally – before  you clammed back up. Honestly, the only time the pack ever really heard you speak up more was when Luhan or Kyung were around. But even with Luhan, he did most of the talking. Kyung tried to ask questions and keep up an active conversation with you.

While Kyung began asking you more about your day just to get you to engage a bit more, Junmyeon walked over to Dae who was paying attention to the conversation instead of the alpha. He nudged his mate before he nodded his head toward the door, making the girl furrow her eyebrows.

“You really don’t sense that?” the alpha asked quietly, leaning in so you wouldn’t hear him.

She shrugged, “Is something outside?”

“Just c’mon,” he sighed, taking her hand and pulling her up with him when he stood. “We’ll be right back.”

Junmyeon dragged his mate to the back door, bringing her outside into the drizzling rain before he closed the door. He let go of her hand, walking out into the backyard. Dae followed cautiously, her sharp eyes darting around the yard in search of whatever Junmyeon seemed to sense or smell outside, her muscles tensed for anything.

“I know you’re out here,” Junmyeon chuckled.

“Who’s out here?” she whispered.

“Dae, why are you whispering?” she heard a familiar voice ask.

Emerging from the tree line was Seungkwan. But Seungkwan didn’t look how the pair remembered him. He looked like he hadn’t slept or showered since they last saw him. His clothes were the same, his yellow eyes were dull, and even his full cheeks were looking sunken in already. In only a few days, he had turned into a shell of himself.

“Kwannie, you look awful,” Dae frowned, rushing over to cup his cheeks and inspect him closer.

Seungkwan shrugged, “That’s what happens, I guess…”

Junmyeon walked up to stand beside his mate, his eyes taking in every detail of Seungkwan. Neither of them could believe this was what happened to him in such a short amount of time.

“This quickly?” she breathed.

She frowned and brought the young wolf in for a hug, but not wanting to hug him too tight. It was weird fearing she’d somehow hug a werewolf too tight, but he seemed to be deteriorating fast.

Then again, it normally took about a month for the heartbreak to take a werewolf... 

“What’re you doing here?” Junmyeon wondered. “Especially out in the rain, you should be inside.”

“That’s just Seokmin,” he explained, which seemed odd to the couple. “Apparently he’d been causing thunder and lightning at night when he had nightmares. Now his new power is fully developed and... Well, when he feels an emotion too strongly, the weather changes. He’s... He’s not taking...my health...well.”

“So why are you all the way out here?” Dae repeated.

Seungkwan let out a sad chuckle, “Is it bad that I still can’t manage to stay away from her even though she doesn’t want me?”

Both packs swore they’d let you do things at your own pace so you’d be comfortable, but hearing that and seeing Seungkwan in the state he was in just made Junmyeon and Dae want to go inside, grab you off the couch, and force the two of you to be together. They never would, but they really wanted to.

Dae sighed, “Seungkwan–”

“I know I can’t see her or talk to her, but just being closer to her at all feels better,” Seungkwan admitted, his eyes moving past the two to the house behind them. “Is she doing okay? Is everyone treating her well? Is she happy?”

Junmyeon looked down at his mate for her answer, so Seungkwan looked at her expectantly as well. Other than Kyung and Luhan, Dae had been spending the most time with you, so it only made sense for her to answer.

“Everyone is very nice to her,” you assured him. “She met the other pack that had helped us and your pack at one point. Kyung really seems to like her and _____ talks with her a lot. But–”

“But?” Seungkwan’s eyes widened.

“She just seems…off,” she continued with a shrug, unsure of how to explain it without either giving Seungkwan a false sense or hope or worrying him.

But Seungkwan panicked anyway.

“Off? Off how?”

“She’s quieter, kinda more distant.”

“I think she misses you,” Junmyeon admitted. “You have to tell her that–”

“I can’t,” Seungkwan sighed, shaking his head. “She made her choice, and I don’t want to guilt her into staying with me.”

“We’ll try to get her home soon,” the alpha promised.

Dae nodded in agreement, “Her real home is with you.”

“If she doesn’t want to come back, she doesn’t have to,” Seungkwan stated.

“But look at you!” she exclaimed, gesturing to the physical state he was now in.

“I don’t care,” he insisted. “I don’t care if it kills me, ______’s comfort comes first. And if she doesn’t want to be with me...so be it.”

[pennyprofit1]

10 Things Most People Don't Know About Money

Every day, we use money, unfolding folded dollars and rummaging for coins. But how much do you truly know about money, other than the occasional peek at a new quarter? Are you aware of which cities have their own currency? Do you know the value of a $2 bill? But what does money have to do with the Secret Service?  Make sure no one is following you and continue reading to learn 10 things about money you probably don't know and a digital saving jar is one of them.

Top 10 Things Most People Don't Know About Money         

Pennies Used To Be A Lot Sassier

In 1787, Renaissance nerd Benjamin Franklin developed the first US cent. It was imprinted with the slogan "MIND YOUR BUSINESS" instead of E PLURIBUS UNUM.

That Eagle Was Well-Known

Your money's eagle can have a name. From 1830 to 1836, a particular bird swooped into the United States Mint building so frequently that workers dubbed him "Peter the Mint Eagle," cared for him, and purportedly used him as a template for coin engravings for years.

Money Isn't Made Of Paper

Paper money in the United States is made up of 75% cotton and 25% linen. Torn bills were repaired with a needle and thread in Ben Franklin's day.

Is The Machine Refusing Your Payment? It Is Microwaveable

A banknote will tear after around 4,000 double folds (first forward, then backward). A vending machine will reject your bill with considerably fewer folds—but you can solve that by tossing your Washington in the microwave for about 20 seconds to crisp it up.

Ink Used For Currency Printing

It takes 9 tonnes of ink to print new currency each and every day. Every day, the United States Bureau of Engraving and Printing uses about 9 tonnes of ink to produce 26 million currency notes with a face value of $974 million.

Your Quarters' Grooves Serve A Crucial Purpose.

The edge of a quarter contains 119 grooves, while the edge of a dime has 118. The grooves were intended to prevent coin faces from being scraped off and sold as precious metals.

The Secret Service Was Established In Order To Combat Counterfeiting

Between a third and half of all cash in circulation after the Civil War was counterfeit. On July 5, 1865, the United States Secret Service was established to combat the counterfeiting plague.

293 Different Ways of Exchanging a Dollar

Does this fact seem exciting to you? Yes? Do you need to keep someone occupied for an extended period of time? In 293 different ways, you can spend a dollar. There are many different ways you can go about spending a dollar.

The Majority Of Paper Money Never Reaches Puberty

Bill's death is more common than you might expect. The $10 bill has the lowest longevity of all our bills, lasting roughly 4.5 years. The $100 dollar, our longest-lasting banknote, lasts only 15 years.

Amazed To Know There Was A $100,000 Bill

The $100,000 Gold Certificate was the largest note ever created (printed from December 1934 through January 1935.) They were solely used in transactions between the Federal Reserve Banks and the Treasury Department.

Final Words

These are the top 10 things people don't know about money. Penny Profit is also one of the best platforms that most people are not aware of. Penny Profit helps you to manage your spare change by creating a digital savings jar. It is one of the best platforms for saving your money in a digital coin saving jar. Visit them now, choose the jar that suits your needs well, and start savings today!

[toutallyahoe]

Hey, it me, a dumb sleeby bitch. I know you're not taking requests. So I'm gonna leave this at your doorstep and if you ever want to do it, go for it. No pressure. But pls if you ever have time and motivation, could you give me some cute sleepy headcanons for any of our very good cowboys? Thanks in advance and I love you and everything you do. You're amazing.

i would literally write a fucking book for you-- i have told you this so many already asdfghjkl

but ya want some of the good boahs and some cute sleepy headcanons? BOI I AM IN!

also, before i continue-- CALL YERSELF DUMB BITCH AGAIN AND I WILL gently KICK YER ASS and hug you to death because ya ain't dumb or else i am more dumber than a fucking rock you sweet, talented smort, beautiful fecker!

AND ANOTHER THING !!! *sobs* HOW CAN YE DO THIS TO ME?!? SHOOTING ME WITH A SURPRISE COMPLIMENT-- ACK ME HEART! I FEEL M U S H ASDFGHJKKLXNBSOHD

okay, i calmed down now... onto the headcanons! btw, multiple characters because ya didn't specify who you want in this headcanon and because i knew yer beautiful ass would like more than one boah

⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃

Arthur Morgan

• first off, best boah right here

• second off, this bitch won't admit he is sleepy even if his life depends on it

• is it pride???

• probably...

• definitely

• i dont know, i see Arthur as one to not really say anything he feels because he doesn't want to be a bother or thinks he'll be a dead weight

• because life as an outlaw? it ain't really the best life

• so, when there are jobs that takes a few days and he volunteers to take watch, Arthur won't admit he is tired and would continue on be on guard no matter how many times he is asked to get his ass some rest

• it'll be a pain in the ass if you aren't patient enough or very worried about him

• because knowing Arthur, he'll just suck it up

• so, if he is sleepy, his [Name] is on his ass immediately

• "you need rest"

• "don't need nothin"

• he IS stubborn as fuck

• and also incredibly more sassier when he is sleepy

• it honestly sometimes annoy [Name]

• "Arthur, you look like you're goin to pass out-- jesus christ! just rest already!"

• Arthur is too stubborn for his own good

• and it sometimes lead to some arguments really

• but [Name] will be the first to give up when he just sees Arthur and sighs

• [Name] will sit by his side and just talk about stuff

• trying to make Arthur relax and at ease

• he'll be sassy at first but will ease up and comment genuinely

• Arthur will then unconsciously place his head on his [Name]'s shoulder as the [Hair color] haired man's voice drowns his thoughts with stories of the past (either his or [Name]'s past)

• before you know it, Arthur "sleep is for the dead" Morgan is fucking asleep

• [Name] notices how quiet Arthur and will turn his head to see the outlaw asleep

• [Name] just smiles at Arthur and place his head on Arthur's and let a content sigh as he close his eyes

• they'll be fine sleeping for a bit

John Marston

• best greasy dumbass raccoon looking ass bitch

• but-- ahem

• like Arthur, John will be stubborn at first

• it's pride and John doesn't want to get babied really

• he already gets that enough from the rest of the gang since he is a real life predatory bait and gets mauled by a lot of animals

• honestly, this man has the shittiest luck

• but also lucky in some way...?

• but yeah... ANYWAYS

• when John gets tired, he is functioning with no braincells (like he doesn't already)

• [Name] is honestly tired with it

• just fucking glaring the shit outta that greasy raccoon boi

• then maybe...just maybe, you can get him to rest his greasy ass

• John will be a bit of a whiny bitch to be honest

• like, he'll whine he ain't sleepy

• but as if it was on cue, he'll yawn

• John looking a bit embarrassed and [Name] looking at him with that "really?" look

• [Name] ain't dealing with yer bullshit raccoon boi

• i can definitely see [Name] restraining John from running away and carry the guy to his tent and slam his in the cot and glare and order John to stay and sleep like a damn dog

• John would be honestly pissed because DAMN IT [NAME]! YA HAVE TO DO THAT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?!? ARTHUR AND SEAN AIN'T GOING TO LIVE THIS DOWN (because those two are bastards... lovable bastards though asdfgghjkl)

• but also turned on but pfft-- he won't admit that

• but yeah, [Name] just sitting on the side of his bed and will not leave until he makes sure John rest

• "you ain't leavin, are you?"

• "i aint leavin till i see yer ass sleep, Marston"

• yikes, getting called his by his last name? usually his [Name] does that when he is annoyed or angry at time

• that when John know he ain't getting out of this

• "aight... fine! i'll sleep! happy?"

• "very"

• to be honest, John feels happy when [Name] does that

• it's because this is how his [Name]'s care for him and it is sweet

• a bit annoying but sweet

• John sleeps and [Name] softly sighs and place a soft kiss on John's forehead and leaves the tent to do his work

Leonard "Lenny" Summers

• pure child

• pure child who can never do anything wrong

• just, this fucking boah is pure child who can never do anything wrong and y'all can fight me is ya say he aint

• ANYWAYS

• Lenny is adorable when he is sleepy

• just utterly adorable as fuck and his [Name] just smiles at how cute he is

• like, Lenny is reading a book under a tree and the day was just a lovely day despite it being so fucking boring

• Lenny planned to read but as the calm breeze pass by him, it didn't take long for Lenny to be yawning and his eyelids dropping but the young man is trying so hard to fight the sleep off and stay awake

• honestly, [Name] saw Lenny sleepy but being too stubborn to admit defeat with sleep will try to stay awake

• [Name] is just amused by it and found it adorable

• always adorable with Lenny

• but anyways, Lenny would be one of the submissive out of everyone if you ask him to go to sleep when he is tired

• will literally not fight back on it because his mind shuts down from the sleepiness

• honestly? will act like a baby

• because he is a baby and [Name] loves him so much and spoils him

• "come on Lenny, let's get ya to yer cot"

• "hmmm, [Name]? can you carry me there... please?"

• just adorable akdbjqjdjsjfjjsjd

• me baby

• aNYWAYS

• Lenny is just a good boah

• like, he gives up rather quickly because he knew his [Name] is looking out for him and besides, if he says yes? he gets cuddles

• so yeah, that's good for him

• Lenny gets warm cuddles and sleeps well in the arms of his [Name] who holds him very close and just being soft boahs

Sean MacGuire

• loud and dumb irish bastard who stole me heart

• i adore him asdfghjkl

• but ON TO THE HEADCANONS

• Sean is a whiny loud ass bitch when he is sleepy

• he acts like he seems drunk

• and it is both hilarious and tiresome for [Name] because he is the one dealing with this shit

• i can see Sean just clinging to his [Name] and yelling on the top of his lungs on how tired he was

• and his [Name] rubbing his temple and tell Sean to get to bed then

• "[Name]! there ye are ye beautiful fecker! i have been looking all over fer ye"

• "and why is that?"

• "i'm sleepyyy"

• "then rest Sean"

• "but i dont want to!"

• honestly acts like a kid

• a loud ass bratty kid...

• it's not even cute

• kinda

• okay, [Name] finds it adorable but he ain't telling no one shit because he already suffers from a sleepy Sean who acts like a drunk toddler

• he doesn't want to deal with everyone teasing him on being soft with his drunk toddler lover

• but yeah

• like John, i can definitely see [Name] try to restrain this dumb bastard

• probably had to hoagtie Sean if i had to be honest

• which may or may not have the sleepy minded Sean blurt out something that made [Name] exasperatedly sigh and a bit flustered

• because-- goD DAMN IT SEAN! stop being a thirsting bastard for a bit and get some sleep?!?

• "Sean, keep this up and I'm goin to hoagtie you..."

• "that's a bit kinky [Name]-- but yer boy is always happy to please ye--"

• "oh my lords-- Sean!"

Charles Smith

• stronk hunt boah

• he is just so beautiful-- im gonna cry asdfgghjkl

• bUT ANYWAYS

• Charles won't admit it outloud when he is sleepy

• he is usually reserved and quiet anyways so his [Name] has to pick up some signals when Charles is sleepy

• but Charles won't be so stubborn about it though

• like, he is kinda like Lenny, a bit submissive and giving in on his [Name]'s words if the man tells him to sleep

• well, if [Name] finds out he is sleepy that is

• when this boah is sleepy, he usually sits in a somewhere in a shade and looks at the sky

• preferably under a tree and away from camp for a bit because honestly, the camp is just too noisy at times

• so yeah

• [Name] will notice him not doing anything and just cloud watching and will sit by him

• Charles would send him a small smile and a nod

• the two would just be quiet and after sometime, Charles would lay his head on [Name]'s lap as the [Hair color] haired man braids his hair and then undoing it again, repeatedly doing the action for a bit

• it honestly soothes Charles a lot

• just his [Name] playing with his hair which he is the only who can

• it was nice and with him already be sleepy, Charles would be lull to sleep

• and with that, Cahrles is softly snoring in his [Name]'s lap as the [Hair color] haired man undoes the braid again and then look at Charles' sleeping face fondly then look at the view in front of him with a gentle smile

• it doesn't take long for [Name] to sleep too with that

Javier Escuella

• a man after me own heart

• honestly, this man is just gorgeous asdfghjkl

• BUT BACK TO HEADCANONS

• Javier would probably be the only one who ACTUALLY goes to his tent and sleep in his cot

• maybe drag [Name] there because the mexican just want a nice cuddle you know?

• honestly, sleepy Javier is adorable to his [Name]

• Javier's mind just shuts down and he forgets how to speak in english and mumbles in spanish until he falls asleep

• i can also see Javier being one to plop himself down on his [Name]'s lap when the guy is sitting somewhere (below a tree or on a seat) because when is sleepy-- he loses his braincells and all functioning

• Javier just searches for his [Name] and throws himself because one, his boah can carry him alright anyways and two, he just loves too

• his [Name] is honestly amused because Javier won't be like this when he is functioning well

• well, not all the time

• but yeah

• [Name] thinks it's cute and will hug his lover

[sass-and-suspenders]

Resolutions (Part 2)

GIF from yunafire

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Author’s Note: Continuation of the prompt “Tell me you need me” (#91). Part one can be found here

As the weeks went by, Rafael remained in his self-made purgatory. Despite seeing you nearly every day, he never told you how he felt. He blamed it on your age difference, the fact that you were colleagues, his heavy caseload -anything to avoid admitting that he was holding himself back. That he wasn’t daring enough to disturb the status quo, too afraid of what would happen if he did.

And so, his days were spent maintaining a cool façade around you while his nights were consumed by thoughts of you. You, unbuttoning your shirt tantalizingly slow. You, with messy bed head in the morning.

You, leaning against his office doorway with your hands in your pockets.

“Hey, Rafael.”

He blinked, trying to determine whether his grip on reality was unraveling. His long hours at the office were surely catching up with him. Then, Sonny appeared beside you, dissolving any notions Rafael had that his fantasies were coming to life.

“Hi, Barba!” Sonny cheerfully greeted, entering the office with you in tow.

“Detectives,” Rafael nodded, sitting up straighter as you approached his desk. “What do you need now?”

“A warrant for the suspect’s financials,” Sonny answered, unaware of how Rafael’s gaze favoured you.

“It looks like he might be paying off other potential victims,” you explained.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Rafael sighed, thinking about his ever-growing to-do list. “Anything else?”

The ends of your mouth curved downward as you spied the numerous empty coffee cups littered around his desk. Rafael could see the concern in your eyes and felt self-conscious that you were seeing him like this: overworked with dark circles under his eyes, his usually polished appearance giving way to dishevelment.

“Do you want to join us for dinner?” you asked. “No work talk. We’ll even let you choose the place.”

“Ya, it looks like you could use a break,” Sonny chimed in, evoking a scowl from Rafael.

Rafael barely hesitated before answering. “Next time. I need to finish this.” While dinner with you was certainly tempting, dinner with you and Sonny was not. He didn’t need to see Sonny give you heart eyes while listening to inside jokes he didn’t understand.

“If ya sure you’re not hungry…” As if to punctuate the thought, Sonny’s stomach began rumbling.

“I guess that’s our cue to leave,” you laughed. “Text if you need anything. We can bring you something back if you change your mind.”

“Have a good night, Barba!” Sonny grinned.

“And remember that 70 cups of coffee can kill a man of your stature,” you smirked, your eyes flicking from Rafael’s to the empty cups scattered across his desk.

Rafael snorted. “I’ll keep that in mind. Good night, Detective.”

As he listened to you and Sonny in the hallway squabbling over who got to drive, he tried to push down the envy slowly bubbling up inside of him.

***

Sitting at his desk, yesterday’s mountain of paperwork still in front of him, Rafael let out a groan. He laid his forehead on his desk, thinking about what he’d just done: composing and recomposing a text to you (eventually settling on, Drinking my 67th cup of coffee. Send help) and then, his inhibitions lowered due to his erratic sleep schedule and work-related stress, actually pressing send.

The possibility that the text hadn’t sent crossed his mind, causing him to check his phone. He could only stare at the screen in horror as he realized that, not only had you received it, but you were typing a reply. His pulse increased as he watched the three dots disappear and then re-appear. Your message arrived a few seconds later.

It was only a matter of time. Are you at your office?

He paused, his fingers hovering over the phone screen. Should he tell you not to come, joke that he was only on his 29th cup of coffee? But, even as he was debating, he already knew what he was going to do.

Yes

Rafael didn’t have to wait long for your response.

On my way. In the meantime, try drinking water (it’s the clear, splashy stuff)

When you showed up twenty minutes later, smiling brightly and holding a takeout bag from his favourite deli, Rafael had to remind himself to breathe. It wasn’t hard for him to imagine that you were his partner, lovingly bringing him food while he worked. As you sat together, talking through bites of food, other scenes of domestic bliss flooded Rafael’s mind. You, brushing your teeth beside him in the morning. You, stealing a quick kiss before leaving for work. You, nestling against his side while you watched television together.

“So, what can I do to help?” you asked, once the food wrappers had been cleared away.

Rafael’s brow furrowed, wondering if he missed something while he was lost in thoughts of you. “Pardon?”

“The pile of work on your desk -what do you need help with?”

“You don’t have to stay. I’m sure you have better things to do on your day off,” Rafael remarked, the amount of tenderness he felt for you increasing by the second.

“Would you feel better knowing that my motives for staying are purely selfish?” you asked, causing Rafael to cock an eyebrow. “If I don’t stay and help, you’ll definitely drink more coffee, and the new ADA we get after your untimely caffeine-related death might not be sassy. That just won’t work for me; I need my ADA to have a certain amount of sass.”

“What if they’re sassier than the one you have now?” Rafael countered, a smile on his lips, as he tried to ignore how his heart fluttered when you called him your ADA.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” you grinned cheekily.

Rafael finally acquiesced, pretending that saying no to you was ever an option. As he rummaged through the stack of files on his desk, his back towards you, he reminded himself that you weren’t his. That he shouldn’t read too much into your offer of help.

He continued to remind himself of this as you sat side-by-side on the couch, your knee nearly grazing his thigh, acutely aware that this was the closest he had ever been to you. Eventually, the pounding of his heart quieted and the two of you fell into an easy silence as you worked on your separate tasks.

When the light outside began to fade, you spoke up. “I need a break. You think your heart can handle another cup of coffee?”

Rafael chuckled. “Let’s hope so. Feel like talking a walk to the café on Lafayette?”

“Sure!” you nodded, eagerly setting aside your work. “I love that place.”

This, of course, was not news to Rafael. He often spotted a to-go cup with the café’s familiar paper plane logo in your hand or on your desk. And, on the rare occasion you visited him alone, you would bring him one, too, claiming it was to butter him up for a search warrant.

Stepping outside, you and Rafael found yourselves in the middle of a snow flurry. You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. He frowned, but nodded, confirming your suspicion that coffee took precedence over the snow.

“So,” you began as you navigated the icy sidewalk with ease. “Did you make any New Year’s resolutions?”

Rafael’s heart nearly stopped. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that you had noticed his numerous, often unwarranted, visits to the precinct or how his eyes always searched for you when he entered a room. But, to know about his unspoken resolution -surely, that was impossible.

“I don’t believe in making resolutions. Why do you ask?” He hoped you didn’t pick up on the twinge of nervousness in his voice.

You shrugged. “Just curious. I once read an article saying that only 8% of people meet their resolutions.”

“Did you make any?”

“Yeah, not to press the snooze button so much in the morning.”

“And how’s that going, Detective? Are you part of the 8%?” Rafael asked, trying to shove aside thoughts of you lounging in his bed.

“Let’s just say that my resolution and alarm clock were both broken on January 2nd,” you laughed. “There’s always next year, though.”

Rafael laughed, but a feeling of melancholy washed over him. Was that what he was going to do: keep telling himself, year after year, that this would finally be the year he would tell you how he felt? He glanced at you, noticing the small snowflakes on your eyelashes, and made a decision.

“Do you want to get dinner tomorrow?” he asked, thankful that the redness in his cheeks could be attributed to the frigid New York air.

Your eyes flicked to his for a brief second. “Like a date?”

He hesitated. Was this your way of giving him an out? He couldn’t tell by the tone of your voice and he didn’t dare look at your face in fear of losing his nerve.

“Yes,” he finally acknowledged. “Like a date.”

“Is that allowed, a detective dating their ADA?”

Rafael nodded; he had checked the first day he met you. “We would need to inform our bosses but, yes, it’s permitted.”

You smiled at him as if he passed some unwritten test. “I’d like that.”

“Tomorrow, then,” Rafael widely grinned, his heart feeling lighter than it had in years.

As the café’s familiar sign came into view, a new thought entered Rafael’s mind. He had been so concerned about how he would confess his feelings to you that he never considered what he’d do if you returned the sentiment.

And now, as he opened the coffee shop’s door for you, the paralyzing fear struck him that he had less than 24 hours to plan your first date.

“Are you coming?” you prompted, smiling at him from the warm interior of the café.

And it had to be perfect.

Tag list: @madpanda75 @obsessionprofessional​ @madkingcrowley​​ @im-like-reallythirsty​ @burningg-red​ @nikkijmorgan​​ @misssirenlove​​ @zoeykaytesmom​ @mommakat32​ @thatesqcrush​ @southern-magnolia​ @evee87​ @amirightcounselor @sweetsummertime99​

[marvelmymarvel]

Bratty Bratty

Scenario Characters: Hawks, Aizawa

Synopsis: You had a bad habit of being a brat. While it was cute sometimes, most times it annoyed your lover to no end.

A/n: I’m a brat 190% of the time... This came to me in a dream ok love me... And send me My Hero ideas :) I also may do more characters to this scenario, but since this is my first ‘scenario’ (I think, let me know) I wanted to just try out two people. 

Keigo Takami (Hawks)

“- and then, you forget your coat of all things?! I mean seriously Y/n, how hard is it to remember your coat?! You’re going to freeze to death” he nagged for the fifth time as you two walked down the street. You didn’t feel cold with all of the alcohol coursing through your veins and frankly, you were tired of him nagging you to death over it. “God look at you! Your skin is turning blue” he snapped out once more as he stopped you in your tracks, fully taking in the deathly color. You looked straight at him, expecting him to say something else. “I mean seriously come on-”

Your overexaggerated eye roll cut him as his jaw dropped in disbelief. Did you seriously just roll your eyes at him?! Especially when he was right? He was silent for what felt like hours, but you knew only seconds had passed. His jaw tightened as he licked his bottom lip, trying to keep calm. You were drunk, you were tired, but you were being a brat. You rolled your eyes once more before turning swiftly in order to keep walking home, he didn’t follow at first, but you knew he would.

“Did you really just roll your eyes at me?” 

His low tone made you stop in the middle of the street, sobering up rather quickly at the way it sounded. You fucked up, and boy did it excite you. You composed yourself before turning back to face him. Crossing your arms across your chest, you bumped out your hip to seem sassier under his steely gaze. “Yes. Yes, I did Kei. What are you gonna do about - ” you cut yourself off with a squeak as he crossed the distance between you swiftly, taking you by surprise as you stumbled back. He grabbed your arm, stabilizing your swaying body under his. “Do you really wanna see what I’m gonna do about it? I’m not sure you do” he snarled in your ear. A shiver ripped up your spine as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his warmer body into your cold one.  

What started out heated turned into something rather soft as your head lolled against his shoulder, the alcohol finally kicking your ass. “How about we go home my love” he cooed softly in your ear as he lazily dragged his hand up and down your spine. You nodded sleepily in his neck before letting him guide you back home. He wouldn’t show you what would happen while you were in this state of mind.

But it was all over when you sobered up.

Shouta Aizawa (EraserHead)

“No, you cant go. Quit asking” 

His words were sharper this time around, letting you know that he was on his last straw with you. You wanted to go to the training camp and since you taught 3-A you thought you’d be a good addition. But Shouta didn’t think so. “And why not” you pressed causing the taller man to sigh heavily at you, he loved you, but you were testing him. 

“Because I said so” 

At his words, your eyes instinctively narrowed while your eyebrows shot up in incredulity as if testing him to repeat what he just said. “Oh really. So just because you said no means that I have to listen to you? News flash, that's not how this works-”

“That is how this works and you will listen to what I say. Now I am finished with this topic. Drop the bratty attitude or else.” he grumbled out as he dragged his hand down his face in a rubbing motion. He tried to keep his voice from sounding angry, but you somehow managed to find the tone. “Oh so now you’re angry with me-”

“Y/n”

“Is there someone else? Why do you keep sheltering me like I’m some child instead of your wife-”

“You’re acting like an inconsiderate brat.” he snapped out furiously... There goes that calm composure. Your face softened and your eyes widened a bit, you knew deep down you were being ridiculous... But a brat? Just as quickly as your face softened did it harden up again. Huffing, you crossed your arms across your chest and gave a little stomp as if telling him to take it back. “Am not!” you argued back only provoking him to let out a sprightly snicker at the way you were acting. “You’re right Y/n I’m sorry” he trailed off, allowing silence to fall between you two and for you to soften up before he once again spoke.

“You’re an even bigger brat when you pout like that”

Your mouth dropped at his words causing him to let out a loud laugh. He noticed your sad look and decided to stop his teasing before it went too far. Closing the distance he took you into his arms, sweetness flowed through his body into yours and you forgot what you were arguing about. “Say. How about we spend the day together before I leave?” he questioned before placing a firm kiss to your temple. You smiled at the affection before nodding at the idea.

That's all you really wanted after all.

[aaronhart93]

ménage à trois || aaromtin

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @quentindelancret & @romanbeckett

When: Jan 8th, 2020

Where: the grind 

Mentions: -

Description: aaromtin becomes official

Trigger Warnings: -

Quentin.

Quentin was nervous to say the least. But he knew this conversation was one that all three of them needed to have. He had been so torn for the past week, just trying to think of any type of solution to ease his mind. But now everything was coming to a head. He asked Aaron and  Roman both to meet him at the Grind, but he was sure as hell taking his sweet time on going in. He was just sitting in his Tesla outside of the shop smoking a cigarette and watching as both men walked in to the establishment. Honestly, he didn’t even know what he was going to say. All he knew was that he loved them both, and he really didn’t want to have to choose. He grabbed his new man purse that Aaron had bought for him in Cali, and he draped it over his shoulder. Getting out of his car and heading inside before watching the two men from a distant. Accidentally giving himself away after only a few minutes when he tried to duck out of the sight of Karen and knocked over a display of coffee cups.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Was Roman a little nervous about Quentin asking for this last minute meeting at the grind? Honestly, yeah. It seemed odd that he’d want to meet in such a public setting if he wanted to talk, but at the same time, he could just be paranoid. As much as Roman didn’t like to think of himself as a pessimist, sometimes he just really couldn’t help but be unsure of things. “What do you think this is about?” Ro looked over at Aaron while he nursed his black coffee, blowing on the steamy surface before taking a sip. His attention was pulled away from the smaller male immediately when he heard a crash in the distance, squinting when he realized it was Quentin knocking over their display of coffee cups. Fuck, he’d worked forever on those. But also, why the hell was he being so weird? “Q?” Ro raised a hand, as if he was unsure if the other male even saw them or not.

Aaron.

How was Aaron only just now finding out that him and Roman had the same coffee order? It was probably something that he should've asked the other man a long time ago considering Roman made his coffee for him nearly every morning. Aaron had already chugged half his coffee even though it was still steaming hot. Consider him a caffeine addict among other things. He was just so nervous he needed something else to do. His attention turned to Roman when he spoke to him. He had a pretty good idea of what Quentin was wanting to talk about but he was unsure as to why Q had picked such a public place to do so. Aaron scratched his head and before he could answer, he head something fall, followed by Roman calling out for the youngest of the three. He peered over his shoulder to see the musician surrounded by fallen coffee cups. He got up to start cleaning them up. "You okay?" He asked, as he bent down to start clearing everything up.

Quentin.

Quentin’s face absolutely couldn’t be any redder than it was right now. His hands frantically reaching for each cup as he tried to pick up the fallen display. “No, it’s okay. I got it” he said to Aaron. Not even making eye contact as he set the cups back up on their pedestal. “I’m good. Yeah, I’m great” he nodded with a nervous little chuckle. His eyes shifting over to Roman with a nervous smile before looking back at Aaron. “Hey do you guys wanna get out of here? I wanna take you guys somewhere” he said a bit shiftily. His fingers fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie as he started to walk backwards toward the exit. He wasn’t sure what he was even thinking right now. But seeing these two together was a tad overwhelming.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman felt a little guilty for the way Quentin was acting, though he wasn’t sure why. He just seemed so...off, and he couldn’t help but feel like maybe it was his fault? Still, he smirked and nodded when the other male suggested going somewhere else, and began gathering his things. “Taking us to a secondary location to kill us?” Roman decided to joke, because he was king of inappropriate comments, so why not? Once he had his coffee in one hand, he used his free hand to rub over Quentin’s back, trying to calm him down since he seemed so on edge. “Are you okay?” He asked, and then chanced a glance back at Aaron. God, he hoped all of this wasn’t about to blow up in their faces.

Aaron.

Aaron kind of lifted his head to watch Quentin place the rest of the cups on the display with a worried look on his face. Now he was starting to get a little nervous. Well, he'd been nervous for this...but now this was all seeing a little too real. Aaron grabbed his peacoat and suitcase, barely laughing at Roman's joke even though on a normal day he would have been on the floor laughing. Aaron gave Roman a look that said 'I have no idea but I'm worried about him' as he looked back at the businessman. He darted in front of them to open the door for the both of them. "Where are you taking us, Q?" He asked, trying to sound casual even though his heart was rapidly beating against his rib cage.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰

It was definitely out of character for Quentin to be acting this way. The look on both Roman and Aaron’s faces making that even more evident with each interaction. “Ha, yeah. I’m totally gonna kill you” he grinned playfully at Roman. His head nodding in thanks to Aaron as he pushed the door open and he made his way outside. “I’m just taking you up there” he pointed toward the roof. “This way.. ya know. If this goes poorly, I can just jump” he mused. Obviously joking even though the joke was hella distasteful. He turned around just slightly to grab ahold of Roman’s hand and then led them both toward the back of the building. His other hand grabbing onto Aaron’s as they continued to walk clear past the building all together. “So, we should talk, yeah?” he asked. Swinging both their arms as he held onto their hands and walked randomly down the back alley way.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman gave Quentin a pointed look when he said he could just jump if this went poorly, and then turned to look at Aaron. Q was acting really strange, and he had absolutely no idea where he was doing with this. What could he have to say to them that might go poorly? Was he going to ask them to back off? Had everything gotten to be too much? Roman was always worrying over everything, expecting the worst, so when Quentin said the famous words of ‘we need to talk’ his heart dropped in his chest. “Quentin, what’s wrong?” He asked in counter to the other male’s suggestion, just wanting him to get out with it already.

Aaron.

Aaron faced twisted slightly at the off putting joke, mostly because he just didn't know how to react to something like that. And because things were so tense between the three already. He glanced at Roman for a brief moment, face twisting even more when he noticed how off put the actor was as well. Nonetheless, he squeezed onto Quentin's hand tightly and let him lead the pair up the fire escape and onto the roof. Aaron was not the same as Roman; he wanted to wait as long as possible for bad news. So he stalled. "So who brewed that coffee this morning? It was amazing." He said quietly, swallowing hard after he spoke. Maybe that wasn't the bed idea because clearly Roman wanted to get on with this.

Quentin.

once they were on the roof Quentin found a place where he could sit down. Letting go of both of their hands and just looking out over the city. “I don’t know, I wasn’t working” he replied a bit mindlessly. Clutching his man purse in his hands as he avoided eye contact at all cost. Of course if he looked at either of them for too long, his whole facade would probably break. “Soo..  you wanted to talk? The three of us. You should talk” he insisted.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman gave Aaron the side eye when he tried to curb the conversation to the coffee this morning, as if any of them cared about that right now. He hated playing this game, beating around the bush when they both knew he was impatient as fuck. “Quentin. Seriously?” He asked when the other male tried to turn it back on them, like he wasn’t the one who had mentioned wanting to talk. The taller male crossed his arms, and cocked a hip, looking way sassier than he probably even meant to. That was just the way he was. “Q, what’s up?”

Aaron

Aaron put a slight physical distance between himself and the other men, leaning against the high wall that was the only thing between him and death by falling however many stories down. Aaron looked down at his feet and shook his head. "No...Ro." He began, taking a deep breathe and deciding to man up. "He's right. I did suggest we all talk when..." He took another very long, deep breathe. "...when he suggested to me that all three of us...like...date - be in a relationship. I just wanted to wait until we were all back in the city so that we could all properly talk about it, and how we all felt about it. I think that's why Quentin's acting the way he is now." He said, taking control of the conversation like he would in any board room. Except...this wasn't a board room. The board room was a place in which he was comfortable. Where he thrived. This was completely new territory for him.

Quentin

Quentin’s eyes shifted between Roman and Aaron and then he looked back across the city for a moment. “No, stop. This is my doing. I can do this” he said. Standing up and walking over to the edge of the room beside the businessman. He had no clue what he was going to say. But he knew he loved them both, and if it wasn’t for him, they wouldn’t be in this situation right now. “I...” he started before turning around to face them both again. “I love you both. I wanna be with you both. It’s like.. impossible for me to choose between you two. I can’t do it” he confessed. Everything was so perfect between him and Roman. Mind blowing even. While other things were just as intense and breathtaking with Aaron. There was no easy way out of his feelings for either of them. So it was time to see if they felt the same way. “So um...” he sort of mumbled as he unzipped his bag. “I want to cuff you both. I want you both to be my boyfriends... and the rest is up to you two.” He turned to face Aaron and snapped a handcuff around his wrist before walking over and doing the same to Roman. Taking a seat back in his initial spot and closing his eyes. His heart racing a mile a minute as he held his breath and waited to see if they would cuff him back.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman watched Quentin as he came out of his shell, and said what he wanted to say. The truth was that he had strong feelings for both men as well, and understood how Q felt. It didn’t feel right to have to choose, even if this was something unconventional. Not everyone was going to understand what they had here, which was kind of a little scary, but at the same time, he was too comfortable to care. As long as he had Quentin and Aaron, everything would be okay. Right? Ro was a little surprised when Q decided to use literal handcuffs, but he barely even hesitated before he stepped forward, and cuffed himself to the other male, standing over him with a small smirk as he waited for him to open his eyes, and for what Aaron would do.

Aaron

Aaron shut up quickly when Quentin told him he would take over. Honestly he was kind of proud of the younger man for doing so. He knew this was w coming but like Roman, Aaron was surprised that Quentin was using actual handcuffs to ask them out. Kinky. The businessman quickly got his head out of the gutter and took a deep breath in. He watching and Roman didn’t hesitate to walk over to Quentin and cuff him immediately. Aaron had thought a lot about this and had even asked a couple of friends for advice. His only real hesitation was what Alison would think, whom he hadn’t bothered to tell that his love life was heading in this direction. He was certainly about how he felt about Roman and Quentin. And he was certain that something would be missing in all of their lives if they had to choose. He looked down at the handcuff that was dangling from his wrist then he looked back up at Quentin and Roman. “Okay.” He said to himself before he walked up to the two men and literally cuffed them.

Quentin.

There was a million and one reasons why this was never gonna work, but Q had given up. He couldn’t fight against it anymore, and hell, if everything ended up crashing down. At least he would have the satisfaction of bringing Aaron and Roman together.  He wanted them both to be happy more than anything in the world. Of course he had his insecurities about all of those, but his heart nearly stopped when he felt Roman cuff him back. The hesitation from Aaron definitely not going unnoticed, but when he finally joined, Q opened his eyes. He had this battle inside his head for a week or two now and it was all finally coming to a head. They were going to be together, all of them. Which meant Q had to take the biggest step of all now. He put his trust issues aside and he grabbed both his boyfriends free hands and linked them together. “Okay, someone else take over now” he chuckled. His fingers on their cuffed hands now lacing together as his cheeks shaded pink.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman squeezed both Quentin’s, and Aaron’s hands when all of them were joined together, and then moved over to lean his forehead against Q’s. He knew this had been a big step for him, and honestly, it was a huge step for all of them. Roman and Aaron both had insecurities as well, reasons why they would be scared of a relationship, but the feelings they shared for each other was too much to ignore. Roman was in love with both of these men, and vice versa, so why should they try and push that aside for the satisfaction of others? “As much as I’d love to continue with the handcuffs, I’m starving. Why don’t we have Aaron take us out to celebrate? I wanna get drunk.” Ro giggled, and pulled back to look back and forth between the other two males. “Also...why has no one kissed me yet???”

Aaron.

Aaron watched as Q joined his and Roman's hands together, then is blue eyes gazed up at the tallest of the three. He glanced back at Quentin, who looked much more relaxed than he was earlier. Aaron was happy. Like actually really happy with these arrangement. There was no competition, no choices that need to be made... Aaron got Roman and Quentin which was exactly what he'd wanted. At Roman's request, he leaned over to place a loving kiss on Roman's lips...sinking into him for the a brief moment before turning to Quentin and doing the same thing, his hand still laced with Roman's. "Yeah, let me take my men out for a celebratory dinner. We can do dinner and get blasted anywhere you guys want." These two men were about to get everything and anything they wanted anyway.

Quentin.

Hearing Roman ask for a kiss literally made his heart drop. His eyes immediately shooting over to the taller as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. He was scared of this, and when he saw Aaron move in his head instinctively turned away. Okay, breathe Quentin he said to himself before forcing his head to turn back. His lips crashing straight into Aaron’s when he did. “Uhh...” he chuckled for a moment when Aaron pulled away feeling hella giddy all of a sudden. That was no even half as bad as he thought it was going to be. “Yes food... and drinks” he nodded. His smile stretching across his face as he looked over to Roman. “Just one issue here” he smirked. “Think you can guess what it is?”

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

It didn’t go unnoticed that Quentin looked away when Aaron kissed him, and now he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Was this not okay? He tried to push down the feeling though when Q’s mood them seemed to flip, asking him what he thought the issue here was. “Well first, I still need a kiss from you.” He held up a finger, and then grabbed the other male by the collar to pull him in for his own heated kiss. “Also, we may need to take these cuffs off...” he looked down at their hands, and then let out the dumbest sounding chuckle. “I mean, unless you wanna walk around like this all night.” He lifted up the wrist connected with Quentin’s.

Aaron.

It was going to take a minute to get used to this polygamy thing. It was certainly something Aaron wasn’t used to and he knew the other two men weren’t used to it either. Now he could spoiled not one but two people? Come home to two people. Complain to two people when he needed to. He was never going to be alone now. He smiled slightly when the other men kissed because those were his men. YEAH. “Yeah Q, please tell me you brought the keys.” He chuckled. “Although we should definitely keep these for like...later.” He alluded with a playful smirk.

Quentin.

This all was gonna take a bit of getting used to. But Quentin honestly never felt so loved, and not only from one man, but two. His hand immediately going to grip the back of Roman’s head as he kissed him. Bringing the businessman’s hand right along with it. Another soft chuckle falling from his lips when he pulled away because... oops. “Yeah, about that” he internally cringed. “I think I left the keys in my car.” Of course he wouldn’t think this all the way through, but he was the baby after all. “Think we can get back down the fire escape like this?” His eyes scanned their wrists, which luckily Aaron and Roman both still had a free hand. But he was distracted from any escape tactic when Aaron mentioned keeping the cuffs for later. “Oh..” he grinned looking back up at the businessman before standing up. “You wanna get kinky, baby?” he asked. Leaning in closer to Aaron and wrapping his arms around his neck. This time bringing Roman’s arm with him as he crashed his lips back into Aaron’s.January 9, 2021

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman let himself be dragged over to Aaron, forcing a spot in this makeout session somewhat awkwardly, though roman really just ended up staring. It made him feel a little dirty, but hey, these were his men. He could stare if he wanted to, right? “Alright, guess we’re staying cuffed until we get down to the car.” Roman point out the obvious, and tugged on the connected cuff with Q in order to coax him to follow back down the stairs. “I hope you have these damn keys.” Roman teased on their way down.

Aaron.

Of course he'd left the keys in the fucking car. He maybe thought that Q did that on purpose just to kind of mess with them. But whatever. it'd be one of their first adventures together and honestly Aaron couldn't be bothered in the slightest. The businessman barely had to time to speak before Quentin was kissing him again. He clutched onto Roman while they kissed, then moved to lead his men down the fire escape. "We should get wine...No! We should get tequila drunk during dinner." He suggested. Aaron just wanted to celebrate...he was happy with this. With them. he quickly found Q's car and turned to him. "Alright, get us out but we're definitely keeping these for a later date." He chuckled.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰

You know, this was definitely something Quentin would have done on purpose just for shits and giggles. But, sadly that wasn’t the case. He was just so damn nervous he didn’t think to even grab the key. It was okay though. They could stay cuffed together forever for all he cared. Just having their arms locked together like this gave him such a sense of relief. He finally had them both and there was no more pressure to choose. He was happy. So happy in fact, he must have been floating on cloud nine. Because before he knew it, they were standing outside his locked Tesla. “Uhm... I think my car keys are in there too” he cringed. “Please don’t kill me” he laughed.

[autobotmedic]

{ an apparently unpopular analysis opinion: 

tf p ratch isnt tsundere, he’s grumpy and has a dry sense of humor/sass. Even when he clearly doesnt care for the idea of the human children staying, he never thREATENS them, he points out a very real danger of how easily they could be harmed by complete accident just from the bots walking, and when he comments about sending them all to tokyo, it was in the context of sending them to Miko’s parents, meaning other trusted adults to watch them, not dropping three children alone in a city just because he didn’t want to babysit. Soon afterward, he’s helping said children with science homework, which he does end up getting carried away with but it’s because he doesn’t know how to Half Ass anYTHING he’s overly dedicated hfksjhdf

Anyway, no, he does not always express his personal emotions, or he expresses them very honestly which is not always done gently, but it is truthful, not with the intent of being mean. After he actually becomes MEAN due to Syth En, and regains his senses due to energon loss, he DESTROYS the sample of it KO had, rather than taking it to ‘win’ or restore his health, because it made him behave differently and dangerously to those he cared about. He would take death over hurting them again, and when he wakes up later, he SAYS, “I did not mean to hurt anyone” because that is the opposite of what he does. He fixes things. He takes care of people. Human or bot. Optimus calms him down when he realizes he doesnt know enough about human biology to help Raf when he is exposed to Dark En without June’s help, BUT HE STILL DOES NOT GIVE UP AND SAVES HIS LIFE. He cares immensely, and he does not have to speak sappy or hug others for that fact to show.

Also, he comforts/speaks multiple times if op is not present to calm genuine worries, such as miko’s concern toward bulkhead in the episode T.M.I., or when bumblebee is about to face unicron in Predacon Rising. He is incredibly sensitive in his own ways, such taking slight offense when he picks up Raf from school and Raf comments that he expected another bot, only to offer turning on his siren for no reason except to entertain a child a moment later. He is humble, as he usually waves off compliments, or is frustrated he cannot do better, such as carrying guilt for MILLIONS OF YEARS about being unable to fix bee’s voicebox, or being unable to give ultra mag a proper servo to replace his damaged one.

Additionally, while I haven’t actually watched a lot of anime, apparently “ showing a warmer, friendlier side over time “ is also part of the definition. Ratchet doesn’t really change in the way he acts. Like. Ever. He becomes closer to Raf, due to shared interests and otherwise, but he??? rarely acts any differently with the ppl he has known years vs ppl he has not. He’s just ratch, all day everyday, who is softer when it’s needed, and sassier when someone’s being difficult.

He’s not tsundere. He’s an imperfect sassy exhausted parental veteran. Obviously this is my personal opinion no one is obligated to agree, but I felt I should say it for This blog.

[kittenshift-17]

Can you do prompt #29 for thorfinn x hermione?

No 29. “Come over here and make me.”

“Come here, Princess,” Thorfinn Rowle invited thecurly-haired witch as they squared off in the coffee shop, their wands drawn,their faces serious. “Be a good little witch and come quietly, yeah?You’re only going to get hurt.”

Granger’s reply was a nastystinging jinx that he just barely managed to block.

“I said, come here, Granger!”Thorfinn growled, ignoring the two companions with her as they fiercely dueledDolohov deeper inside the shop.

“Eat slugs, Rowle!” she hissedhe reply, firing another spell at him, this one a nasty slug-vomiting hex thathe had to dive to his left to avoid. Thorfinn winced when it whizzed right byhim and collided with Antonin, throwing him off balance.

“You little bitch,” Thorfinnsnarled, rapidly losing his temper. 

Firing off three rapid-firecurses of his own, he gave up on trying to out-hex her when she blocked thefirst two and dodged the third. Maintaining a shield charm, Thorfinn chargedher. She wasn’t expecting him to get physical. That much was clear when she landedheavily on the floor of the coffee shop beneath his weight, the wind knockedout of her and her wand skittering away across the linoleum. Thorfinn summonedit quickly before Disapparating with a resounding crack, much to the horror ofthe witch in his arms and the companion left in their wake.

Not thinking clearly in hisanger, Thorfinn apparated her to the first place he could think of. His bedroomin Rowle Tower. Granger huffed underneath him when they landed in a heap on themiddle of his unmade bed.

“Shit,” Thorfinn muttered,levering himself up and off her quickly, peering down at her and noting thatshe must’ve hit her head on the coffee shop floor. 

She was unconscious andThorfinn scowled, rolling off her quickly and flipping her over so he could geta look at the damage to her head. Other that a small goose-egg, she seemed ok,but he wasn’t sure he trusted the bitch not to be faking. Pinching her armharshly, he was satisfied she was completely out when she didn’t flinch or cryout, or even screw up her face at the pain. 

“Got you now, Princess,” hesmirked to himself, using his wand to bind her hands quickly.

Of course, now that he hadher, he didn’t know what to do with her. Their orders had been to bring Potterto the Dark Lord. Thorfinn could just imagine the horrid things the Dark Lordwould ask him and his fellow Death Eaters to do to the little witch if hebrought her before him now. 

Securing her hands to hisbedpost, Thorfinn stood beside the bed and frowned down at the witch. He hadn’tseen her in months. Not since the night atop the Astronomy Tower when he’daccompanied Bellatrix and the others to murder Dumbledore. She’d been in herpyjamas then, scared but determined to do what little she thought she could toprotect the school and to save her friends.

She looked different now. Itwas clear the war had been weighing on her. She’d lost weight. Her hair was allin a mess, despite the fact that he knew she’d been at a weddingearlier that very evening. The clothes she wore were snug, scuffed as thoughshe’d changed into the quickly; as though she hadn’t worn them in a long timebefore now.

What was he supposed to dowith her now? Thorfinn wondered idly. Now that he had her, he could think ofany number of things he’d like to do to her, but hedoubted she’d be on board with any of them. She wasn’t particularly fond ofhim, these days. He snorted. Who was he kidding? She’d never been fond ofhim. 

“Wake up, Princess,” hecommanded, flicking a Reviving spell at her when he grew tired of his ownpanicky thoughts in her presence without her snark and her sass to distract him.

She groaned softly, wakingslowly as though rising from the deepest depths of unconsciousness and Thorfinnwondered how badly she’d hit her head.

“You alive, Princess?” hedrawled, pocketing both of their wands and eyeing her critically, standing atthe end of his bed.

She gasped, her cinnamon eyespopping wide when she realized she’d been captured, and she scrambled up thebed away from him, realizing quickly that her hands were bound and that herwand was gone.

“Let me go, Rowle,” shedemanded, her eyes snapping to his face after a quick sweep of the room todetermine that they were alone. 

“Nah,” Thorfinn shook hishead, crossing his arms over his chest and watching her intently. 

“Yes,” sheinsisted. “Now. Or so help me, I’ll…”

Thorfinn’s mouth twitched intoa sly grin when she trailed off, clearly realizing she was entirely at hismercy and that without her wand, while her hands were bound, any threat shemade would be an empty one.

“Yeah,” Thorfinnchuckled. “I thought you’d say that. Got you all to myself now, Princess,and all you’ve got is that wicked tongue of yours for your own defense. So…How’s tricks, eh?”

“Tricks?” she narrowed hereyes. “For Merlin’s sake, Rowle! Let me go. You can’t keep me hereforever, you know. I’m going to escape, in time.”

“Aye, that you might,” henodded. “But I reckon you and me could have a whole lot of fun before youdo, eh? So, stop being a rude little bitch and answer my question.”

She narrowed her eyes on himhatefully and Thorfinn narrowed his in return.

“Why don’t you come over hereand make me, Thorfinn?” she hissed, throwing down the gauntlet in challenge. 

It would be her worst mistake.And for a witch so unaccustomed to making them, he suspected she wasn’t goingto handle that fact too well. 

She screamed when he lunged ather, knocking aside the leg she tried to kick him with and moving until hepinned her to the bed. She fought wildly, pulling against her bindings andtrying to kick him. He yanked her legs straight by a tight grip on her anklesand planted himself on top of her, pinning her body to the mattress with hisown much large one.

“You ought to be a bit morecareful about the things you say, Princess,” Thorfinn smirked. “You’re nota smart-mouthed ickle firstie anymore, you know?”

“Get off me!” she hissed, hereyes flashing dangerously as sparks of bright purple magic began cracklingthrough her curls.

“Who’s going to make me?”Thorfinn taunted. “You’re at my mercy, little witch.”

“Rowle,” she began, andThorfinn could tell that for all her bravado, she was afraid.

“Princess,” he repeated in thesame tone.

She gulped, desperatelywriggling beneath him, clearly wanting to be set loose.

“What are you going to do?”she asked fearfully when it became clear that the only way she was getting outof this was by cooperating.

“Wait for you to answer myquestion,” Thorfinn shrugged.

“What question?” she asked.

“How’re tricks?” he asked.

“You kidnapped me just to askme how I’m doing?” she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders,waiting.

“I’m… f… scared,” she admittedtruthfully, and he could tell that she’d intended to answer the same wayeveryone tended to. The word ‘fine’ had been on her lips before she realizedthat she’d be wasting her time lying and that he’d just push her for the realanswer. “And my head hurts.”

“Mmmm, you hit it when Itackled you,” he nodded. “There’s a lump, but no blood.”

She frowned into his face.

“Anything else?” she askedwhen he didn’t say anything additional.

Thorfinn shrugged.

“Been a long time, eh?” heasked, one corner of his mouth pulling up in a crooked grin.

“Not long enough,” shedisagreed. “The Astronomy Tower, remember? You hexed me.”

She twisted under him a littleand nodded down the length of her body indicatively and Thorfinn frowned. Hedidn’t remember hexing her.

“I remember snogging you,” hedisagreed.

She scowled in return. 

“You burned me,” she argued and Thorfinn pulled back furtherfrom her, lifting off her enough to pull up her shirt. She made a small noiselike she didn’t appreciate the intrusion, before rolling a little under him,letting him see a scar on the middle of her back in the perfect imprint of hishandprint. It was shiny and pink. A burn.

Thorfinn pressed his hand overit curiously, noting that it fit perfectly.

“There’s another to match onthe back of my neck,” she told him, twisting her head to show him.

Thorfinn recalled holding herin both places when he’d latched onto her and snogged her stupid against one ofthe walls in seventh floor corridors. He hadn’t been able to help himself.Everything about her had provoked him and taunted him and enticed him foryears. When she’d been just an ickle firstie, two years below him, she’d givenhim nothing but grief at every turn. As they’d aged the smart-mouth remarks hadturned sassier, and Thorfinn would admit to flirting with her on numerousoccasions. 

“Mementos of the sexualtension sizzling between us,” Thorfinn grinned at her, aligning his hands overboth marks as he gripped her and flipped the two of the until she was sprawledacross his chest, rather than pinned beneath him. 

“Battle wounds,” shedisagreed. “You took the Dark Mark, Rowle. There is no sexual tension. Notanymore.”

Thorfinn’s blue eyes tracedover her face carefully, noting that she looked deadly serious, but knowing herwell enough to know that no matter how badly she wanted the words to be true,they were still a lie.

“There’ll be sexual tensionbetween us until we’re both crotchety old fart, Princess,” Thorfinn informedher smugly.

“There won’t,” she shook her head vehemently.

Thorfinn rolled his eyes. When she didn’t say anything else,and didn’t bother wriggling, clearly knowing she wasn’t going anywhere until hewas good and done with her, Thorfinn traced his eyes over her carefully, drinkingin the sight of her and unable to help noticing that she was only growingprettier with age.

“You look tired,” he told her instead, still holding her snuglyagainst his chest.

“Gee, thanks,” she rolled her eyes.

“You’ve been worrying yourself,” Thorfinn surmised.

“Can’t imagine why,” she sneered sarcastically. “And you,Rowle? Proudly wearing the brand of the monster who wants to wipe people likeme from the face of the earth. Does he know you’ve captured me? Does he knowyou seem to fancy kissing me whenever you can manage it?”

“’Course he doesn’t,” Thorfinn grunted. “Not that he’d havemuch to say on the matter, other than to sneer. We all have our vices, you know?”

“And I’m yours, apparently,” Hermione said. “What are youplanning to do with me now that you’ve kidnapped me, Rowle?”

“Dunno,” he confessed. “We were sent after Potter.”

“You realize that if you take me to him, he’ll…”

“Give you to the brethren of Death Eaters for sport?” hesuggested when she trailed off fearfully. “Yeah, I know.”

“So, then, what are you going to do?” she asked.

Thorfinn sighed, tracing his eyes over her face.

“Maybe I’ll keep you,” he suggested quietly. “I can protectyou here. Certainly, better than Potter can.”

“I’m not staying, Rowle,” Granger shook her head andThorfinn frowned at her.

“Because of my Dark Mark?” he guessed.

“Among other things,” she sniffed.

“Why?” he asked. “Even with the brand, you still want me,baby-girl. I know you do.”

“I don’t,” she denied. “I never did.”

Thorfinn raised one eyebrow at her doubtfully.

“Liar,” he accused before flipping the two of them acrossthe mattress once more.

When he had her pinned beneath him, Thorfinn lowered hismouth to hers, kissing her tentatively, wondering what she would do. The last timehe’d kissed her, he’d pushed the kiss on her hungrily, overcome with how badlyhe wanted her when he’d laid eyes on her that night on the Astronomy Tower.Merlin, he had it bad for this witch. He hadn’t known how bad until that momentbut lying there with her in his bed and pinned under him, her mouth pliantbeneath his own before her tongue struck out to spar with his, Thorfinn knew he’dalways have it bad for her.

She kissed him back greedily, her mouth moving with his, hertongue smoothing along his own, her hands - bound as they were – pulling at thebindings until she could tangle her fingers into his golden mane of blond hair.Her legs curled around his waist slowly, tightening the longer he kissed herand Thorfinn rolled his hips slowly, grinding against her hungrily andwondering whether she might finally let him have her.

Without thinking he broke their kiss to unbind her hands,intent on getting her naked and making her his witch forevermore. She didn’tfight him off when he lifted off her enough to pull her shirt off over herhead. Instead, she reached for the hem of his own, tugging it up and off himand Thorfinn took great satisfaction when he listened to the way her breathcaught as she traced those eyes over his muscled torso greedily.

“Oh, yeah,” he teased lightly. “You don’t want me at all,huh, Princess?”

Her cheeks flushed pink and Thorfinn grinned, leaning downto steal another kiss from her. She reached for him greedily, her hands trailingover the bare expanse of his back, her nails digging into him hungrily as shekissed him back and rocked her hips, desperate for friction. Thorfinn was sointent on giving it; on devouring her; on finally claiming the woman he’dfancied for sodding years, that he almost jumped out of his skin when his bedroomdoor was flung open to admit an angry Russian.

“For fuck’s sake!” Antonin Dolohov growled before vomitingup a slug into a bucket he was clutching.

Thorfinn froze, breaking the kiss with Hermione to turn andglare at the bastard for daring to invade his home, let alone his room. Granger’shand slid all the way down his back and too late he realized her intent.

“NO!” he shouted just as she seized on her wand where he’dshoved it in his back pocket.

She smirked evilly from beneath him before disapparatingwith a resounding crack, leaving him to slump into the gap she’d left, crushinghis throbbing boner against the mattress.

“Bloody hell, Toshka! Did you have to!?” Thorfinn snarled,his fists clenching in the sheets and beginning to smoke as his temper roaredto life like a raging inferno.

“You can’t fuck a mudblood, ditya,” the elder wizard growled, referring to him as ‘son’ as he’ddone since the minute Thorfinn had approached him following Dolohov’s escapefrom Azkaban.

“As though you’ve never fucked one?” Thorfinn challenged hisgodfather.

Antonin flicked his fingers dismissively. “Never Potter’smudblood. Never the one witch the Dark Lord would kill to get his hands on. Ifhe learns you had her and let her slip through your fingers…”

“He’d skin me alive, I know,” Thorfinn growled.

Antonin eyed him for a long moment, spitting up another slugbefore shaking his head, disgusted.

“You are in love with her,” he accused.

Thorfinn didn’t bother denying it. Hell, sometimes hethought he was.

“I will be,” Thorfinn grumbled, rolling to his back and tryingto adjust the uncomfortable steel rod in his jeans. “Just as soon as I fuck mykid into her belly and can get a bloody ring on her finger.”

“Durachit’.” Antoninaccused, shaking his head and clucking his tongue disapprovingly. Thorfinn knewthat one. It meant ‘fool’. His godfather’s favorite adjective to describe him.Sighing and closing his eyes, Thorfinn reached for the shirt he’d peeled offhis witch before she escaped, lifting it and dropping it down on his face. Ashe laid there breathing in her sweet scent, he began to plot how next he mightmanage to capture and kiss her all over again.

Read it here

[elounorfluff-blog]

Troublemaker

Eleanor was exhausted. She had resorted to taking one of her courses online, so she could go on this tour. Last year she had waited in agony for months in between visits from her boyfriend. She had skipped the concert tonight, sitting quietly in the tour bus with her laptop open. It was almost eleven and they should have been finishing up performing if her timing was right. Tonight was one of those lovely nights spent on the tour bus, driving to the next city. On the bright side, there was a day off in between shows so they would get to wander around whatever part of America they were navigating to for 24 hours.

            The doors to the bus opened and Harry and Liam entered, laughing. “And they say manners never helped anyone!” Harry joked as Eleanor took out her headphones.

            “Can he even do thirty push-ups?” Liam replied grinning. “Eleanor!” He shouted her name and put his arms out as if was surprised to find her in the same place as four hours ago.

            Harry put his feet on the edge of the bunk beneath her so he could lean his arms on her mattress, “We’ve been sent to summon you for a very important mission.”

            “Hello to you too!” Eleanor rolled her eyes, “exactly what kind of mission am I being summoned for? Is it the kind I have to put a bra on for?”

            Liam smirked, “depends on how you feel about the world seeing you bra-less, I’m going without one, but it’s your choice.” El laughed as she closed her laptop. Harry grabbed her hand as though he were speaking to her about a life or death situation.

            “El, we are in Boston. There is a pie named after this city and we are not really living if we don’t go and get some.” He was maintaining total urgency in his voice.

            “Alright…and why hasn’t Louis come to get me for this very important mission?” Harry jumped down from the bunk so he could help her down. She dangled her legs over the side as grabbed Harry and Liam’s hands on each side of her to drop to the ground.

            “Because,” Liam let go of her as she grabbed her things to change out of her pajamas, “he flipped somebody off and security made him do thirty push-ups, which I’m quite sure he will never get to.”

            El stopped to laugh, “I can’t believe I’m missing this! Let me change.”

            In the bathroom, she threw on her jeans and Calvin Klein sweatshirt. She took a shaky breath. Going out in America was always interesting, especially with Louis. Paparazzi were even more adamant than in the UK, and people didn’t always hide behind twitter to shout horrible things at her. Counting to five, she double checked her ponytail, left the room, slipped into her shoes and grabbed her bag. “Okay, I’m good.”

            “Well then let’s go get some pie!” Harry held out his hands to double high five her and they ran off the bus.

            By the time they got to the vans, everyone else was waiting inside. “If it isn’t my beautiful girlfriend, how have you been this evening?” Louis asked as she climbed into the backseat with him and Niall.

            “Well, I wrote a paper for Social Psychology, on why social norms determine someone’s likeability in a certain culture. For example, in America, celebrities trying to make a good impression probably shouldn’t flip people off for amusement.” She smirked at him.

            Niall couldn’t help laughing, “Well she really is the sassier one between the two of you! Nice one, El!” She got a round of high fives.

            Louis sighed and shook his head, grinning. “Remind me not to send these idiots to get you, clearly they are making up stories.”

            “No, a made-up story would be you easily doing all thirty push-ups!” Zayn shouted and El fell over on a sharp turn, laughing in Louis’ lap.

            Harry shouted over the noise, “Everyone shut up! We’re here.” El knew this part of the drill. Leave quietly in single file, put your sweatshirt hood up and don’t draw any attention to the fact that you are with one of the world’s most successful bands.

            They managed to get inside the diner quietly enough, security agreeing to sit at a different table. Almost no one was here this late anyway. El was half asleep in the middle of the booth on Louis’ shoulder while the boys talked and ordered, his left hand on her back and their right hands intertwined on the table. She closed her eyes as she waited on her diet Pepsi. She was on the verge of sleep when she felt cool fingers just barely graze her bare back underneath her sweatshirt. The world thought they didn’t have PDA in public for a variety of reasons, but the truth was just that Louis may have been the subtlest person on earth. He hadn’t even stopped his conversation with Liam for a beat, as he moved his fingers methodically to her side just barely pulling her body half an inch closer. She opened her eyes when the food and drinks came, drinking half her Pepsi in one stride to wake up. Louis took the conversation change to quietly turn his head towards her ear. “If I remember correctly, that was your last paper?”

            El grabbed fries from his plate and looked at him pointedly. “Yeah…are you trying to seduce me in the middle of the restaurant? Because I’m exhausted, Lou.” She said it so quietly, not even the other boys noticed she was awake.

            Louis held back a laugh, but grinned at her, “I meant tomorrow, I’m not dumb enough to do that on a tour bus twice!” El burst out in laughter and the other boys stopped to look at her.

            “You two all right over there?” Harry asked in confusion.

            “Alright?” Liam joked, “They are probably over there making plans to break all the rules, they’re more rebellious than they look.”

            “What rules would we break? Eleanor’s an angel.” Louis asked as though she could actually keep him out of trouble.

            “The no sex on the tour bus rule for starters,” Zayn spoke up from his spot next to her, smirking. El’s eyes widened and she had to force herself to swallow her Pepsi, coughing before she spoke.

            “I’m sorry, what? Are you implying that I’ve actually broken that rule?” She had in fact broken that rule.

            Zayn laughed, “No I was implying you were going to, but your reaction makes it seem like you probably already have. Don’t worry, we’d still love you E.”

            Eleanor didn’t dare look at Louis, she hoped his composure wasn’t giving anything away.

            “I have not done anything of the like, and even if I had”, she paused to look at Liam, “It’s not like we would be the only couple. You forget how much Sophia and I talk.” Sophia had never mentioned this, but she was looking for leverage.

            Liam gasped in pretend shock, “Now you��re just turning around accusations!”

            Harry quieted everyone down, “Alright, I’ve got a way to solve this mess of who is lying and who is telling the truth.” He waved down the waitress, “We need six shots of whatever people like to drink around here.”

            Everyone groaned. Shit, Eleanor knew exactly where this was going. She took a bite of pie to keep her mouth occupied and dared to glance at Louis who was just staring at her, grinning. She kicked him under the table lightly. When the waitress arrived with shots of who-knows-what, Louis did at least try to bail her out. “You know El is tired, maybe we should just head out without giving her any alcohol?”

            Harry and Niall who sat at the edges of the corner booth, didn’t budge. “No way, El knows the rules. But fair reminder to everyone else, this is the highest form of honesty and secrecy. We won’t speak of it again, and all who answer truthfully will be forgiven of any crimes their drinking admits them to. So drink if you’ve done it, the whole shot, since in this case we only have one thing to settle.” He spoke as if he were reading an oath in a court of law.

El unhinged herself from Louis and grabbed her shot glass like everyone else. She had to own up to it, because she knew Louis would on those terms, and lying would mean they would either call her out or assume he had done it with someone else other than her.

“Okay,” Harry began, “Never have I ever”, he leaned in slightly as security was eyeing them suspiciously “had sex on the tour bus.” Eleanor tossed back the highly sweetened alcohol, feeling it burn in her throat, as quickly as possible and then watched in shock as five other empty shot glasses joined hers on the table.

“You fucking hypocrites.” She shook her head and laughed, kissing Louis just to piss them off, before hiding in his chest, blushing bright red.

****

Later that night she silently got off the couch, where she had been sitting alone, watching the cars pass in peace. She scrolled through twitter, idiots asking her when her contract was up, others commenting wishing they could be her, which really just meant they wanted her position as her Louis Tomlinson’s girlfriend of three years. She sighed as she shut off her phone and climbed the ladder.

She laid down quietly as she pulled the covers up around her and draped her right arm over Louis’ chest. He stirred silently and yawned, turning to look at her, eyes half open. “Hey, Trouble.” He whispered to her half awake.

“Hey.” She smiled at him.

“I want to break all the rules with you one day.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and she smiled in return. He kissed her forehead and pulled her closer, where she fell asleep almost instantly.  

[fiction-phan]

Ghostly

Summary: Dan Howell has been able to see ghosts his whole life. Things have gone from bad to worse now that his mother remarried and he finds himself sharing his new room with Phil, avery good looking guy. A guy, who happens to be dead. 

Words: 22.7k

Rating: Mature

Read it on AO3

A/N: I’m not even sure what I’m going to say. I wrote the first few paragraphs of this story back in December 2016. I was going to post it for one of the days of the 25 days of christmas but I started getting so many ideas that I knew it would be too long for that. It took me months to get it completely done. I stressed, I panicked and I cried because I wasn’t sure I was going to finish it in time. Somehow, I did it. This story is like my little baby and I’m so, so proud of it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

(Btw, don’t let the title get to you. I promise the story is much better than the title I came up with in five minutes)

Big thank you goes to @findmeinthekingdm. She was the best beta I could have asked for. From rewording sentences that made no sense to pitching me new ideas, she was essential for this story to be posted today. Thank you for dealing with my procrastination. 

Thank you also to @gay-lizard-dads for the amazing art. You’ll get to see it soon, I promise. 

Warnings: Mentions of death. There is a short mention of homophobia in the beginning of the story. It’s nothing too bad but you should be aware it’s there. 

Dan was ruined. His mother obviously hated him, his father wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, and his friends had lost interest in him the second he said he was moving to a different school. It’s not as if it was something he chose himself. He couldn’t be blamed for his mother choosing to remarry someone who lived two hours away from his school.

If you asked him, the obvious choice would have been to drop this guy and find someone more accessible who wouldn’t ask for them to pack up their whole lives and move two hours away from their home. His mum clearly disagreed, judging by the dark stare she gave him when he dared to share his opinion.

Confronting his mum had resulted in an hour long rant from his mother about the beauty of falling in love, which only made Dan roll his eyes. “Falling in love is a beautiful experience that makes you do the craziest thing, the most thrilling things, no matter how stupid it may seem,” she said.

“Even if it means packing up everything and going to a place you’ve never been to?” Dan replied in the most monotonous way he could manage. Dan bit his tongue in order for him not to blurt out a sassier reply. All that coming from a woman who divorced twice, with one marriage that didn’t last a year. Hilarious.

“It’s well and good for you, mum, but I’m not the one who fell in love, so why the hell am I the one who’s stuck packing my whole life away?” He muttered angrily under his breath just as he taped up the last box with his belongings. He couldn’t get over how stupid the idea of them moving. Not only was he going to have to change schools in order to go to one closer to his mum’s future husband, but he was also expected to move into his house with them.

At first, Dan didn’t think it sounded too bad. Apparently Clive owned a larger than average house which would be an improvement over their minuscule apartment. He should have known that Clive owned a big house for a reason.

Imagine Dan’s shock when he found out that Clive had three sons. Three sons. He was going to have to share a bathroom with three tiny devils running around his feet and expected to take it with a smile. Not to mention that he couldn’t risk uttering a single complaint lest causing the end of his mother’s third marriage before it even happened.

Dan protested, of course he did. Not once, not twice, but countless of times. His mother found a way to shut him up, threatening him to leave him with his father if he didn’t stop complaining. And Dan did shut up. As much as he wasn’t happy about having to move away from where he had lived all his life, he would gladly take that option over having to live with his homophobic father who had quite a few choice words to share with him when Dan finally had the guts to come out to him. Needless to say, it didn’t go so well and they barely ever spoke anymore. Dan imagined that living with him would be like hell on earth.

His mum seemed to think that changing school meant Dan would no longer surround himself with criminals. If only she knew that Dan chose to have friends like that because it meant he didn’t have to let anyone get too close to him. Having people close to him meant forming relationships and feelings, both things Dan couldn’t allow himself to have.

It’s a never-ending cycle, and Dan seemed to be the only one who constantly has to face this. Dan had “friends” telling him they’d be there for him through thick and thin, but the second he does something that seems weird to society, they drop him like a hot potato and pretend they never even knew him. Dan learned it the hard way. How could eight-year-old Dan possibly have known that it wasn’t normal for kids to suddenly start seeing dead people and attempting to talk to them?

The first person he told was his mum who freaked out and started looking for psychiatrists she could send him to because, in her words, ‘he clearly was taking her divorce from his father really hard and that made him see things that weren't really there’. Her words, not his.

All the visits to specialists and psychiatrists did absolutely nothing. He kept seeing dead people and they still kept trying to communicate with him. No matter how many times he said that he didn’t have any idea who they were, they kept asking him for help in getting them out of the limbo they found themselves in.

It took him a while, but he finally figured out that the trick in getting his mother to stop sending him to specialists was to lie his way out of it. It hurt having to tell his mum that he was fine now, that he wasn’t seeing dead people anymore, but he kept seeing more and more of these people.

When lying to his mum, Dan lied to himself too. Every moment convincing his mum that it probably was a figment of a child's imagination that got a little carried away, he told himself the same exact thing. It's just my imagination. There's a little voice at the back of his mind chanting "You didn’t see anything. Your mind is just playing tricks on you,” but all he could see was a dead lady standing by his door frame. He felt her stare on him, and he felt violated, but he didn't dare to look or to speak up. The fear of seeing her sent shivers down his spine. She didn't look particularly ghostly, but there's just something about knowing she doesn't belong in his room.

He just ignored it. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes.

Dan should have known. After his mother’s reaction, his ‘gift’ was a secret he needed to keep to himself. It clearly wasn’t something normal and everyone would treat him differently like he was a freak. Dan’s not a freak, and he hated every moment spent having to see ghosts, and at the same time, living, breathing humans treating him as if he belonged in a mental institution if he hinted at the fact that he could see dead people.

Dan persevered. They don’t see it but he does. He decided to act as if everything about him was as normal as his peers but, as his mother said, love makes you do the craziest of things.

When Dan was thirteen, he was absolutely sure he was head over heels in love with his best friend. Thinking back on it now, it makes Dan cringe. His so-called feelings of love were enough for Dan to come clean to his best friend.

Dan had told his friend that he could see dead people. He helped them fix or get over the bad things they had done in life so they could leave the limbo they found themselves in and move on to the afterlife. Add that to the fact that he was gay, and Dan should not have been so surprised over the reaction he got.

Ollie had looked absolutely disgusted and called him names that was hard for Dan to forget to this day. He should have known that Ollie wouldn’t keep his mouth shut and Dan quickly became the school’s laughing stock; the faggot who can see dead people and talk to them.

He’ll never forget the months of bullying he endured just because he trusted someone with his deepest secret. That’s when he learned that people can’t be trusted, and someone like him couldn’t have any kind of relationship with anyone. He wasn’t ‘normal’ -- whatever normal meant -- and it was about time he accepted it.

Luckily enough, his mother remarried for the second time a few months after the incident and he changed schools. He attended a school where no one knew who he was or what he could do. He would never be normal as long as he kept seeing dead people, but as long as they don’t know about his condition, they wouldn’t consider him a freak. Dan got the fresh start he wanted.

That didn’t mean he wanted to be alone. He quickly learned how to fit in with the outcasts of his new school. He tried to ignore their bad habits and sometimes straight out offensive behaviour so he could have people to hang around with at school. No harm done. His mother clearly disagreed, though. She thought his “friends” were the reason why he never brought anyone home for her to meet and why he was so against the idea of moving home. Again.

Knowing that arguing was futile and not wanting to risk his mum going through with the threat of sending him to live with his dad, left Dan with very little he could do. He was just going to pack his stuff in boxes for the second time and hope there would not be a third time.

In the end, packing was better than thinking about the upcoming wedding.

*

The wedding was anything but extravagant. Dan never considered himself liking weddings and his mother’s was no different. However, he admitted that his mother actually looked really happy. Maybe moving would not be so bad if it meant his mum’s happiness didn’t just vanish after the wedding.

Luckily for Dan, there were no ghosts hanging around at the wedding, hence enjoyed a drink or two without anyone interrupting him and without having to disappear from his own mother’s wedding. His step-brothers did try to initiate awkward conversation with him but he was quick to start avoiding them after that.

Even though he was going to have to start living with them in the same house, Dan didn’t have any interest in involving to playing the part of a loving family. He agreed, albeit reluctantly, to move into a house with his mother’s new husband and that’s as much as he was willing to compromise.

Dan and his mum spent the previous week packing everything up into labelled boxes in preparation for their move since his mum was adamant that they spend the first night after the wedding in the new house. All of their belongings were taken to their new house by the removal guys, and now all that was left to do was for Dan to actually go to the house and start unpacking his stuff.

Not that he was in any rush to do that. As long as his room has a bed he can readily  sleep on, and all his toiletries are out of the box, there was no need for him to rush the unpacking process. He only hoped that this was going to be the last time he would have to pack his whole life away only to have to unpack it again somewhere new.

It was more work than it was worth.

A few hours into the wedding, Dan started getting restless. It was nice to see his mum in a pleasant mood, but he was very much looking forward to leaving the party and get into bed for a good night’s sleep. Parties were never really his thing and it only got worse when he swore to keep socialising with other people to a bare minimum.

He could only drink so much before his mother started directing worried frowns on his way, and so he soon found himself leaning against the wall in a corner and hoping his mum and her new husband didn’t take too long to cut the cake.

It seemed his wishes were finally answered since the photographer hired by his mum was soon pulling him to the very front so that he could take a photo of the whole ‘family’ together as his mum and her husband cut the cake together.

Dan tried his best to smile in a way that was considered realistic. He glanced at his mum and they shared a look. While his mum’s smile was warm and content, he prayed that his smile mirrored hers, and was not one of boredom. Thinking about getting to go to his new home after eating a piece of cake made it a bit easier.

After the cake has been cut and distributed among the guests, many people started saying their goodbye. Dan tried not to look overly happy when his mum let him know that they were going to leave soon so he could go home first.

He was aware that ideally he would have told his mum that he was fine with waiting so that they could all leave together as one new happy family, but he just couldn’t bring himself to actually tell her that. He just wanted to go home, get changed out of the uncomfortable suit he was forced to wear and get into bed.

So with a quick goodbye to his mother and an awkward handshake with Clive, he was off.

Now that Dan was on his way to what could be considered as his new home, he couldn’t help feeling a little uncomfortable. The only time he was taken to visit their new home by his mum was a few days before the wedding, when they had taken a few boxes that could fit in the car. His mum insisted on showing him his new room, maybe as an attempt to get him feeling excited over their upcoming move.

Dan didn’t hate the room his mum chose for him. It was spacious and there was a large window that allowed for a lot of light to shine inside. It was a nice upgrade that almost made their move worth it. Almost.

Now he found himself having to go to this new house by himself and Dan couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding somewhere he did not belong. He was almost inclined to turn back and return to the party in order to wait for his mother so they could go to the house together for the first time.

The thought of having to return to and force himself to engage in conversations with people he has never even seen before in his life quickly changed Dan’s mind. Clive’s house was going to be his new home now and so Dan needed to get used to going in and out on his own. Sure, he would have felt more comfortable going in with his mum for the first time but he had no intention of ruining the last few minutes of her wedding day.

He got out his new set of keys as soon as his home was visible down the road. He didn’t waste much time looking at it from the outside. Dan was looking forward too much to finally getting some well needed rest. It had been a very tiring week but Dan could finally put it all behind him.  Dan unlocked the door and quickly made his way inside, planning on preparing a nice hot bath to relax before going to bed.

Imagine his shock when, on walking into his new room, he realised that the room was inhabited by someone else. Someone who was not exactly alive.

*

“What the hell?”

This could not be happening to him. Of all the problems Dan had thought of regarding moving to a new home, he had never considered having a ghost in his room to be one of them. The ghost looked equally surprised as him, but that didn’t make Dan feel much better.

“I didn’t expect to see anyone coming in this early,” this man - this ghost - said nervously. He glanced at the clock that was already on Dan’s bedside table. Midnight. “Well, that’s not too early either,” the ghost admitted.“ It’s been awhile since anyone has come to stay in my room. My name is Phil,” the ghost said, smiling at him brightly. Dan wasn’t buying it.

Dan’s brain went through the two things things he wanted to do when he arrived home: take a relaxing bath and then sleep the night away. Instead, what he got was a ghost in his room who, unlike most ghosts Dan had met before, seemed to have no intention of starting a fight. That could mean two things: either Phil was still not aware that he was dead or he’s a harmless ghost.

Judging by what he said, Dan guessed it was the latter. That made things a little bit easier for him as it meant he didn’t have to break the news that Phil was dead and no longer exactly human. Few were the ghosts who took that piece of information well and Dan winced when he remembered back on all the times he ended up with bruises on his body because of that.

That didn’t mean Dan was at all happy with the current situation he found himself in. It was quite late in the evening and his week was tiring, to say the least. He didn’t have the time to try and get Phil to move on to the afterlife. Phil the Ghost would just have to wait.

“I think you mean my room. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re dead, so that means the room is not yours anymore. If you could kindly leave so I can get some sleep, it would be very much appreciated”, Dan said, already moving around the room to get the things he would need for his bath.

Phil’s smile was quickly wiped off of his face at Dan’s attitude. “Excuse me? I might be dead but this is still my house and you are still in my room. I’ve been staying here for years so, if anyone should leave, it should be you.”

Dan groaned and fought the urge to hit his head against the wall a few times. Of course he was stuck in the bedroom inhabited by a ghost. A ghost who did not seem the least bit inclined to get out and leave Dan alone.

“Look”, Dan started, trying to take on a different tactic. “I know you’re probably excited over finally meeting someone who can see you even though you’re a ghost. You probably can’t wait for me to start helping you fix whatever it is you need to fix so you can move on to the afterlife. I promise I’ll start helping you tomorrow, but for now I just need some rest. It’s been a hellish day, so I’ll repeat myself: get out.”

Phil looked confused and offended. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I have no intention of going to the ‘afterlife’, as you called it, and I was perfectly happy here until you barged in, demanding that I leave.”

Dan was quickly coming to his wit’s end. He realised that he could stay in the middle of the room arguing until he turned blue in the face, and Phil would still be adamant on not leaving. Dan considered his best option: to ignore Phil and carry on with his plans regardless of the ghost currently sitting on his new bed.

He grabbed a towel and changed out of clothes, then walked to his ensuite bathroom, ignoring the pair of eyes following his every move. Dan slammed the bathroom door shut, hoping to get across to Phil just how pissed off he was feeling.

There wasn’t much he could do about the ghost situation at the moment. The following day, he would politely ask his mum’s husband for a new room and hopefully this whole mess would be put behind him.

*

“Absolutely not,” his mum said, crushing all his hopes and dreams of getting a bedroom that was not inhabited by a ghost.

Dan’s night with the ghost was not as horrible as he initially thought it would be. Phil barely talked to him at all and was gone most of the time. That didn’t mean Dan was going to stick around.

His bedroom had always been the one place he could go to that felt safe and private. He could do whatever he wants to do in it and no one would be the wiser. Dan lost count of how many times he slept naked at night when he got too hot or walked around naked when he forgot to take a towel to the bathroom. There was no way he could do that knowing there was the chance a ghost could have just appear out of thin air and see him in that vulnerable state.

He needed a new room. Surely, in a house as big as this, it would have some spare room he could use instead of the one that he was given.

Apparently not.

His mum refused to ask Clive for a new room. “I don’t see why you would want a new room. You have the biggest bedroom in the house because Clive wanted to get on your good side, and you’re the only one who doesn’t have to share anything. What’s not to like?”

It’s not as if Dan could tell her all about finding a ghost waiting for him in his new room when he got back from the wedding, so instead he tried to come up with a half-assed excuse that wasn’t convincing.

“I’m used to noisy rooms and this one is so quiet. I couldn’t sleep properly last night so I thought maybe I could get a bedroom that was facing the main road instead?” Dan wanted to hit himself the second he opened his mouth. What sort of excuse was that? His mum was not going to believe him and she isn’t the one to be blamed.

HIs mum raised her eyebrows at him, clearly have caught him lying, but she didn’t call him out on it. Instead, she suggested something that made Dan’s skin crawl. “I’m sure James would love to make some room for you so you can share with him. His bedroom is facing the main road so it’s just what you’re looking for and you can get to know each other better. You would have to share a bathroom but I’m sure you won’t mind”.

Dan’s plan had backfired completely and he wasn’t sure how he was going to get out of it. Even the idea of the ghost in his room catching him sleeping completely naked was more appealing than the thought of sharing a room with one of his new step brothers. Not just any step brother, but James. He was one of the most disgusting persons Dan had ever met and sharing a room with him is equivalent to Dan voluntarily entering his own personal hell. That was not something what he wanted now.

“You know what, I think I’ll just stick with the room I have now but thanks for the offer. I think the quiet will do me some good once I get used to it. Help me think better and… stuff,” Dan rambled, slowly backing out of the room, making a hasty retreat. He didn’t fail to notice the amused look on his mother’s face and, with a sigh, admitted that she played him really well.

Dan was left with only one choice. He was going to have to learn to share a bedroom with a ghost, at least until he could figure out the reason why Phil couldn’t get to the afterlife, and then try to help him out. He tried not to think about the fact that Phil didn’t seem inclined on leaving the world of the living and move on to the afterlife.

He walked into his room and somehow managed to keep himself from jumping a foot in the air when he caught sight of Phil sitting on his bed as if he was the king of the bed. Dan refused to admit that this probably was an everyday occurrence for Phil. Whether it was or not, Dan planned on putting a stop to it.

He fake coughed in order to get Phil’s attention and then went straight on to business. “My plan to switch rooms failed so I’m stuck here, at least for the time being. I understand that, technically, this is your room as much as it is mine, but we’re going to have to establish some ground rules.”

Phil grunted, and didn’t look particularly happy about it, but Dan couldn’t care. His goal is to win himself some privacy from this ghost. Dan’s the one alive and breathing. This is his room anyway.

“First of all, no random appearances in the bathroom. I don’t want to feel paranoid while taking a shower because I’m scared you’ll just pop up out of nowhere and see me naked. Also, you’re capable of knocking. Please do so before coming into the room so I can at least expect your appearance.” Dan didn’t think he was being too unreasonable with his requests. It’s what everyone with a roommate would expect in order to live peacefully.

Phil was not of the same opinion. “You think I’m going to be knocking to come into my own room? If anyone here should be knocking, it’s you! How dare you just show up here and expect me to live like a guest in my own home? Who do you think you are?”

Dan probably looked like a fish out of water. From the second he laid eyes on him, Phil seemed like the kind of guy that was very difficult to anger. Dan was surprised that he managed to do so after just two encounters. He was not about to back down, though. This room might have been Phil’s at some point but he was dead now and Dan was the rightful owner.

Phil just had to deal with it.

“I don’t know if you’ve realised this but you’re dead,” Dan said, starting to lose his patience. “The one thing you should really be doing is trying to figure out a way to move on so you can leave me alone and I can finally get some privacy in this stupid house.”

That seemed to be the worst thing to say. Phil started turning red (or as red as you can turn when you’re a ghost) and then simply disappeared with a pop.

Maybe Dan had finally gotten through to him.

*

He didn’t.

The following night, Dan was woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of banging coming from his bathroom.

“What the hell?” he muttered, quickly getting out of bed to check what all the commotion was about. He could only stare in bewilderment at the sight of Phil throwing bottles of shampoo and body wash onto the floor.

“What in the world are you doing?!” Dan shouted, and then bit his tongue, realising that it is the middle of the night and he doesn’t want to wake anyone up.

Phil looked at him in what appeared to be satisfaction, and then threw one last bottle to the floor just to spite Dan before disappearing as if he was never there in the first place.

Dan really wanted to think that this was all a big misunderstanding. Maybe Phil needed to use the shower, and he accidentally dropped the bottles he wanted to use. Even with his brain feeling muddled with weariness, Dan could tell that was probably not the case. Why would a ghost need to take a shower?

The truth was that Dan knew perfectly well what Phil was doing, he just couldn’t believe it. The ghost was trying to get back at him for trying to put up some boundaries. “I can’t believe this is the thanks I get for not exorcising him and instead trying to make things go smoothly.”

He went back to bed, hoping that this would be the last time before his patience wear off.

*

That wasn’t the last time.

In the next few days, Phil continued to try his very best to make Dan’s life difficult. It started off with a mild disturbance; an instance that was similar to how Phil woke Dan up by throwing bottles in the bathroom. But now, it was going downhill.

Dan still turned bright red whenever he remembered catching Phil peaking from behind his bedroom door as he was changing into his pyjamas for the night. The only reason he didn’t start yelling on the top of his lungs, screaming to lecture Phil the Ghost about privacy, and reminding the ghost the importance knocking was because he didn’t want to wake up the rest of the people in the house. If he was caught, how would he explain to his mum the reason why he was yelling at the wall about privacy?

He hadn’t gotten off before they moved out, and Dan was feeling particularly lustful. He hadn’t gotten off since before they moved out and now Dan was feeling the effects of it. He was never the kind of guy to go too long without having a little bit of fun, even if by himself. With everything that had been going on since he moved, Dan just never found the time.

Phil’s presence, or the fact that he can poof into thin air without a warning, had been the constant reason why any of Dan’s plans to enjoy himself were ruined. He didn’t consider himself to be very shy but certain things were meant for his eyes only. However, the ghost had cheekily seen him changing into his clothes more often than he should. There was no way Dan was letting the ghost see him in the midst of pleasure.

Strangely enough, it had been a few days since he saw Phil. Even though a part of him knew that it was probably a ploy so as to get to him when he least suspected, a more hopeful part wanted to believe Phil had finally given up and was leaving him alone for a few days.

Whatever the reason, Dan was not about to waste an opportunity like this. He hurriedly grabbed an extra towel, and walked into the bathroom, feeling excited. Dan made sure to look his doors, in case any living person in this house decided to barge into his room. Even though Phil could easily appear wherever he wanted to, at least he was secured from one thing, and that allowed him to be a little less paranoid than he already was.

Dan stood under the shower and waited for the warmth to kick in. He tried not to think about how he preferred his bed than being in the shower. He didn’t let his mind go there. Phil’s a creep and Dan really wanted to avoid feeling embarrassed. This was his chance, and Dan was not going to waste it.

All thoughts of Phil were gone from his head as he slowly started moving his hand up and down, letting out small huffs and moans with each drag of his hand. One thing was for sure, Dan was never going to go so long without getting himself off again.

He spent the next few minutes in the same way, moving his hand up and down and making sure to change his rhythm every once in awhile in order to keep himself on his toes.  Dan could feel himself getting close, but he still made sure to keep his noises under control. The last thing he needed was for his mum to hear him or even worse, his new “family”.

Dan used one hand to hold on to the wall and kept pleasuring himself with the other, making sure to increase his speed just as he felt himself getting closer and closer to the edge. He was so close, just a little longer and he would get there--

“Oh my God.”

Dan quickly whirled around when he heard a voice behind him and almost caused him to slip in the shower. He could feel himself turning bright red the second he realised it was Phil staring at him with his mouth wide open and looking him up and down; flustered.

Dan quickly tried to cover himself as much as he could with his hands and then threw the bottle of bath wash he was using at Phil’s head. He missed.

“Get the hell out of here!” Dan hissed, wanting to get out of the shower and push Phil out himself but not wanting to risk exposing himself more than he already had. Thankfully, that made Phil snap out of the daze he seemed to have found himself in and quickly walked out of the bathroom by walking through the wall; probably the same way he had let himself in, but not before getting one last look at Dan which made the latter turn rosier out of embarrassment.

With the knowledge that Phil was safely out of the bathroom, Dan turned around once again and made a quick work of rinsing himself off. The lustful mood he was in before had completely disappeared just like his hard on, and now all he wanted to do was to get out of the shower, get dressed and then find a corner to hide in for the rest of the month.

Just the thought of facing Phil after what had just occured made him wish the ground would just swallow him up so that he never had to look at the ghost again.

Dan quickly dried himself up and got dressed then walked out of the bathroom. It was time to give the ghost a piece of his mind. He was putting up with way too much and Phil was clearly taking advantage of it. Walking in on Dan during such private moment was the last straw.

His anger ebbed out when he noticed Phil sitting on Dan’s bed, looking petrified. “I didn’t mean to walk in on you like that!” Phil defended himself as soon as he caught the sight of Dan. “I thought I’d mess with you because I haven’t done that in a while so I decided to scare you while you were showering. I didn’t know you would be doing… other things.”

Dan could feel himself turn red in embarrassment again at having the ghost remind him of what the latter saw. Even though he wanted to be angry at Phil for barging into the bathroom on him during something that should have been private, he couldn’t find it in himself to yell at him.

It was clear by the look on Phil’s face that, even though he wanted to be mischievous and get on Dan’s nerves, it was never his intention to sneak a peek at Dan while he was busy pleasuring himself. It was also clear to Dan that Phil was not going anywhere and they needed to figure out a few ground rules if they were to cohabit without a problem. Dan hadn’t seen this situation coming when he tried to make a truce with Phil in the beginning, but with the ghost finally seeing the point, it might be a good time for Dan to try to establish a protocol.

Dan sighed and sat down next to Phil on the bed. “What happened today cannot -- under any circumstances -- happen again,” he started, and was glad to notice that Phil was nodding vigorously from the corner of his eyes. At least they were finally on the same page.

Despite wanting to solve the matter, Dan’s mind muddled with trying to come up with a solution to their dilemma, and he couldn’t think of something that would allow him to have the privacy he wanted.

It was then that Dan recalled the time at his old school -- the time when he heard a couple of students talk about what students in university do to get some private time when they are in shared dormitories. Dan figured that that could actually work for him and Phil without being too awkward.

“I could use a sock”, he said, and but pressed his lip to keep himself from laughing when he saw the baffled look that Phil was giving him. “Students at college tend to wrap a sock around the door handle when they don’t want their roommates to barge in on them. Maybe we could adopt that system ourselves so no more awkward encounters like today happen again?”

Phil seemed to be a little confuse,  and it reminded Dan of the fact that he knew next to nothing about the ghost who was inhabiting his room with him. Phil could have died years before Dan was even born and he wouldn’t know because he had never bothered to ask.

“How old are you exactly?” he asked, a little hesitant to know the truth. “I mean your real age, not how old you were when you died.”

Phil seemed to be in thought for a few seconds before he answered. “I think I might be thirty years old this year. I can’t be sure, though. It’s hard to keep a proper track of time when you’re dead. All I’m sure of is that I was twenty-two when I died.”

Dan couldn’t help but feel relieved. If he had to be stuck with a ghost sharing his bedroom, at least said ghost wasn’t much older than him. The situation they found themselves in would have been a lot creepier if the ghost Dan was stuck with was double his age.

“You’re old enough to know about the sock method then, right? I put a sock on the doorknob, and you’ll know that I need some alone time, and you’re not to interrupt me. Do you think you can do that?”

Dan half-expected the ghost to argue and say that this was his house, not Dan’s, and he wasn’t going to be stopped by some stupid sock on a doorknob. But Dan was pleasantly surprised when all Phil did was nod in acceptance of Dan’s idea.

“That sounds good to me. I wanted to apologise again. It’s true that I had no idea what you were actually doing in the shower,” he started, being kind enough to ignore the way Dan’s face turned cherry red at being reminded of the incident earlier. “It was wrong of me to just barge in like that, no matter what you were doing.”

Dan was not expecting an actual apology from the ghost, who just a few days earlier, was yelling at him for being an intruder. This left Dan off guard, and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to reply. In the end, he just settled for a thin smile and a nod.

His plan was to leave it at that, but then Dan remembered that he was not the kindest to the ghost when they first met and, in retrospect, had said things that he shouldn’t have said. Phil was not the only one who needed to apologise.

“I’m sorry too,” Dan finally said, figuring that he needed to get their misunderstandings out of the way. “I wasn’t the nicest to you when I got here, and I could have been a little more understanding of the fact that a stranger was walking into your home; trying to order you around.”

Dan almost made a joke over the fact that he didn’t really need to apologise for walking into his room in the first place but changed his mind at the last second. Something told him Phil would not appreciate the joke, especially after he had finally apologised.

With all the apologies out of the way, Dan decided this was the right time to bring up something that had been making him curious ever since he found Phil in his room. “You never did tell me why you didn’t move on to the afterlife.”

He realised it might not have been his greatest idea when he saw the way Phil’s face closed off when he brought it up. They were finally making progress and acting friendlier towards each other, but it seemed as if Dan somehow managed to ruin it with just one sentence.

“I don’t really want to talk about it, and I don’t think it’s any of your business anyway.”

Dan wanted to accept that as his answer and move on, he really did, but curiosity always got the best of him. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I can help you if you want. I’ve helped many ghosts who were stuck here get to the afterlife.”

Phil scoffed at that and shook his head. “My apology did absolutely nothing. You’re still trying to get rid of me.”

Dan could understand why the ghost would get that impression, but it really wasn’t the case. Now that they got a few things out of the way, he was no longer in any rush to get rid of him. He was genuinely just trying to help, but it seemed like his good intentions were not getting through to Phil.

“I can understand why you would get that impression, but I swear this isn’t me trying to get rid of you,” Dan explained, trying to get through to Phil. “I genuinely just want to help. It can’t be easy hanging around on your own with no one to keep you company.”

He managed not to upset Phil even more with his answer and even got a small smile in return. “I appreciate you wanting to help me, but I’m fine. You get used to it after a while and besides, I’m not completely alone anymore. I’ve got you to keep me company.”

Dan tried not the let his words affect him but ultimately failed when he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. How they had gone from arguing and fighting to enjoying each other’s company was beyond him, but Dan couldn’t find it in himself to care.

*

Their relationship improved after the conversation. Phil was always careful to knock before walking into his room, and Dan soon found himself comfortable enough with the ghost to open up like he never had before, not even with Ollie.

“I’ve been able to see dead people since I was very young,” he said, as he was lying in bed with Phil lying down next to him. “At first I didn’t realise they were dead. I would see someone staring at me, and I would point them out to my mum, only to be told that there was no one there. It took me a while to figure out not everyone could see what I was seeing.”

Dan let out a humourless laugh; thinking back on what he went through from such a young age. “At first my mum just thought it was harmless imagination. She thought I was pointing out my imaginary friends to her. She freaked when she realised I had been serious all along. That’s when the visit to the therapists started.”

He felt a hand settle on top of his and he squeezed in return to show Phil he appreciated his comfort. Dan learned from their budding friendship that Phil was a really good listener. He always let Dan finish what he had to say before making any comments and knew just how to comfort him silently.

“They all had something different to say. Some said I was delusional, others thought I was experiencing hallucinations. Most of them thought it was just my way of showing how upset I was over my parents getting a divorce. It didn’t matter that I kept telling them I was glad for their divorce because it meant I didn’t have to hear any more fighting.”

A part of him still couldn’t believe that he was speaking about this out loud to someone for the first time in his life, and he wasn’t getting judged. He wasn’t sure what was making him trust Phil so much.

Maybe it was the fact that the ghost already knew he could see dead people, so he knew he wouldn’t be judged over it. Whatever it was, Dan was grateful for it. It felt really good to finally be able to open up about a part of himself which he had always kept hidden.

“When the therapists started talking about giving me medication, I panicked. I knew what I was seeing was real. There really were dead people trying to talk to me, and they weren’t just a fragment of my imagination. In the end, I figured out that the only way to get everyone off my back was to lie and tell them that I stopped seeing dead people. It worked like a charm.”

Dan still felt bitter when he remembered how accomplished everyone looked when he lied. As if their useless treatment and telling him over and over again that what he was seeing was not real, was finally working. As heartbreaking as it was as a child, Dan couldn’t help but to think back on that moment with a degree of happiness.

Lying to everyone got him out of a situation he hated being in. There were no more therapists behaving as if they knew better than him, and his mother stopped looking at him with eyes and words brimmed with worry and fear. He could finally live a normal life with his friends, even if that didn’t last very long.

He had already told Phil he was gay, and recalling the ghost’s reaction after telling him just what Ollie did, never failed to put a smile on his face. Phil had demanded Dan to tell him just where Ollie lived so he could give him a little visit for revenge. Dan couldn’t bring himself to remind Phil that he could not really do much to Ollie considering he was a ghost and no one could see him. It was the thought that counts, anyway.

Once he was sure he was finished with his story, Phil turned to look at him, and Dan was shocked to see him looking so sad. It was true that what he told Phil was not a happy story, but it still amazed him to see someone else looking so upset on his behalf. It was a new feeling and Dan found himself feeling fonder of Phil.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. It can’t be easy, but I can’t say that it’s an unfortunate ability to possess. If you weren’t able to see dead people, we never would have met, and I would have kept on walking aimlessly in this life with no one to communicate with.”

Even with the pain and suffering Dan went through because of his ability to see the dead, he still couldn’t disagree with Phil. It’s true that they didn’t get along at first, but now Dan couldn’t even imagine himself coming back home from school without finding Phil ready to greet him in his room.

Even Dan’s mum was starting to notice a difference, and even commented on the fact that Dan seemed happier these days. She thought it was because of his new school and the new house, but to Dan, his happiness comes from coming home to see Phil. He finally had someone to listen and talk to after so many years. Dan could finally say he was content.

Of course that wouldn’t last forever.

“You’ve been so honest with me”, Phil suddenly said, shaking Dan out of his thoughts. “You’ve told me about being gay, about Ollie, and now you’ve even told me about what you went through when you were younger. I haven’t even told you why I never moved on to the afterlife.”

Dan found himself suddenly sitting up straight after hearing that. It was true that Phil never brought up the topic again after Dan offered his help. Dan was still curious about it,  but never brought it up himself because he wanted to respect the ghost’s wishes. He wanted to wait until Phil was ready.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Talking about personal things that still hurt us… It’s hard. I don’t want you to tell me just because you feel like you owe me. You don’t. I told you all of that because I trust you. I want you to do the same. Tell me only when you’re ready.”

Phil was quick to reply. “I know I don’t have to tell you, but I want to, because I trust you.”

Knowing that Phil trusted him enough to talk to Dan about something grievous warmed his heart. It was a good feeling, but he shouldn’t fail Phil’s trust in him.

Phil took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to say. “Ten years ago, I was sleeping in this very room. I woke up in the middle of the night because I could hear screams and shouts coming from outside. At first, I thought it was some drunks having a fight or something but, when I looked out of my window, I realised they were all looking at my house in horror. The whole thing was on fire.”

Dan could only look at Phil in shock. Clive had never mentioned anything about the house being burnt down when Dan and his mum moved in. Granted, Dan never really asked him anything about the house, but it was still a shock to hear.

“I quickly ran to the door to get out even though I was already thinking it was going to be hopeless. You know this room is at the very top of the house. The chances of me getting out of my room and downstairs safely were slim, but I didn’t want to just give up. Turns out, it didn’t matter. My bedroom door was locked from the outside, and there was no way for me to get out.”

Even though Phil didn’t say it, Dan could still assume what he meant. He was killed. Someone must have locked the door from the outside, then set fire to the house with the intention of Phil being trapped inside with no way of getting out. “It was murder.”

Phil nodded with a bitter smile. “Yeah. That’s not why I can’t move on to the afterlife though. I.. .never found out who murdered me. From what I figured, the police carried out an investigation but, by the time they put off the fire, the whole house was in ruins, and they could barely even identify my body. There was no evidence -- everything was destroyed by the fire. The case was filed as unsolved.”

Dan wasn’t sure what he could say. He desperately wanted to help Phil to find peace after years of uncertainty, by moving on to the afterlife. Dan didn’t even know where to begin. If the police were unable to find anything after investigations, Dan doubted he was going to have any luck in finding Phil’s murderer.

“I’m going to do everything I can to help to uncover the truth, Phil,” he promised.

Phil smiled at him, but Dan could tell that the ghost was convinced that there was nothing Dan could do, and he wasn’t exactly wrong. But Dan was determined not to give up.

You deserve to know who killed you. I know it might seem impossible right now, but so does seeing the dead and… Here I am,” Dan said, gesturing to himself, making Phil laugh.

“Thank you,” Phil said with a smile. That only made Dan more resolute to find out the truth.

*

“Dan, you’ve been on your laptop for days and haven’t gotten any closer to figuring it out. If I had known you would act like this I would have never told you what happened. You haven’t done your homework in three days!”

Dan could only roll his eyes at Phil. “Please. If I wasn’t looking things up, I still wouldn’t do my homework until my teachers threatened to expel me so I’m really not doing anything different.”

Phil looked like he wanted to argue but it wasn’t as if Dan was lying. He was never the kind of person to finish his homework early and always tried to find whatever excuse possible to simply not do it at all.

“Fine, don’t do your homework but at least stop wasting your time searching for things you won’t find. Whatever it is you’re looking for, you won’t find it on the Internet. It happened ten years ago, Dan.”

Dan was on a streak; looking through the internet in the hopes of stumbling on something that could help him in his search for Phil’s murderer, but Phil was right. The chances of finding anything remotely useful about a case that happened ten years was almost impossible.

He stopped typing and scrolling long enough to give Phil a dirty look. “It’s like you don’t even want me to find out who murdered you. I know that the internet is most probably not going to give me what I’m looking for, but I can’t just do nothing. I’ve already looked through every newspaper in the library with no results.”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to find out the truth. I just don’t want to see you waste your time on something that happened ten years ago.”

Phil just didn’t get it. Dan needed to find out the truth. He wanted to help out Phil more than he ever wanted to help any ghosts he has encountered before. It just so happened that Phil’s case was the hardest one he had ever tried to solve.

Usually the dead people who ask Dan for help just want him to deliver a message to loved ones or want to know how their families were doing. Once, there was even an old lady who wanted him to find a new home for her dog. Never before did he have to play detective and attempt to solve a murder.

It suddenly hit Dan. “I think I’m searching for the wrong things. You said the police gave up because there were no evidence, and yes, it’s unlikely I’d find any if they can’t even find anything. But maybe I can look something up about my… power,” he said.

Dan thought his idea would be received well by Phil, and the ghost would finally offer to help him out rather than leaving him to look things up on his own, but all Dan got was a sigh. “What are you going to look up, Dan? ‘I see dead people in the streets and need to know how to help them cross to the other side’. I’m sure that is going to give you a lot of trustworthy results and not swindlers, taking money from people who are grieving.”

That was not the attitude Dan was looking for. “You know what, I’m not doing this for fun. You’ve been stuck in this limbo for ten years and I’m doing my best to try and help you out. I would appreciate a little help rather than you trying to demotivate me,” he snapped.

Dan was more than aware that he was fighting a losing battle. He was not going to find any evidence about who killed Phil and the chances of finding anything remotely helpful about his power on Google was slim.

He knew all that, but Dan still didn’t want to give up. Phil was turning into the one person who meant the most to Dan and it killed him to see Phil stuck in a limbo with no way out. He just wanted to help, so having Phil constantly telling him to give up was getting on his nerves.

Phil didn’t seem to have any intention of backing down. “Did you ever think that maybe I don’t want your help? I’ve been here on my own for ten years and suddenly you show up, trying to change everything. Maybe I don’t want to go to the afterlife. Maybe I just want to stay here and talk to you and have actual conversations with actual people after years of only having myself for company.”

Dan tried to ignore the guilt feeling that was starting to creep up. It never occurred to him that Phil might not want to move on to the afterlife. He just figured that since Phil opened up about the reason why he was still here, it meant he was finally ready to accept Dan’s help and that he was ready to move on. He also tried not to think that Phil moving on to the afterlife would mean never seeing him again. The thought hurt Dan.

“You can’t possibly want to stick around here, Phil,” he said, trying to reason with him. “I enjoy your company as well but I’m the only person you can talk to. No one else can see you. And I’m going to get old, Phil. I’m going to get old while you stay exactly as you are because you’re dead. Is that really the life you want for yourself?”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Phil snapped; he looked hurt. “Don’t you think I spend every moment thinking about having to watch you grow older, while I stay looking exactly the same? I think about it all the time, but it doesn’t make me want to leave. I appreciate you wanting to help Dan - I really do - but I should be the one to decide what I want to do.”

Dan wasn’t sure what he was supposed to reply. On one hand, Phil’s words warmed his heart. Phil enjoyed spending time with him as much as he did. He didn’t want to leave him. On the other hand, Dan didn't want to be the one keeping Phil from finally moving on to the afterlife to  live a better life.

“You’re right, I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t force you to help me find out the truth, and I’ll accept your wish not to move on to the afterlife if that’s what you want. But you can’t stop me from looking. I will keep on looking for ways in which I can help you so that, if you change your mind, I’ll know what to do.”

Phil seemed disappointed and it was clear he disagreed with Dan, but at least he didn’t argue. Dan was going to count that as his victory. He was going to respect Phil’s wishes and secretly celebrate the fact that he was going to have Phil all for himself, at least for the time being.

But no one was going to stop him from looking for answers.

*

Dan spent weeks searching for answers and he wasn’t any closer to finding out anything than he was at the start.

Looking through Google gave him nothing but disappointment and frustration as he could only find websites of people claiming they could talk to dead loved ones for a price. Dan didn’t doubt for a second that these people were all frauds and not like him.

At least they were all frauds, until he stumbled upon a particular website which did not seem as shady as the others had. At first he was uncertain, as it was a website dedicated to the supernatural and Dan never considered himself as anything. At the most, he could say that he considered himself to be a medium.

Or he didn’t, until he stumbled upon a particular post written by a guy who appeared his age. What caught Dan’s eye was the fact that this guy described everything Dan went through from when he was young; when he started seeing dead people.

His logic was telling him that this was all coincidence and this guy was just joking around or lying. There was no way there were other people like Dan out there, who knew what it was like to be like him.

Even knowing that the chances of this being fake were high, he couldn’t help but try to get in contact with the person who wrote the post: Maurice.

Dan quickly typed out a message and sent it to him. He made sure not to say anything about his own abilities, instead he kept the message general. He just wanted to learn more about Maurice; not expose himself.

Maurice was quick to reply. He told him all about seeing his first dead person when he was six years old and telling everyone at school about his ability. Much like Dan, it resulted in him getting shunned by all his classmates.

Dan tried not to fall for anything, but he couldn’t help it. Maurice’s story almost matched his experiences - and they were convincing. He couldn’t help but to consider that there could be some truth to it.

Dan then messaged Maurice back, asking him to meet up before Dan changed his mind. If there was any chance of other people out there having the same ability as him, he wasn’t going to waste it. He might never get another chance to learn about himself.

It didn’t take long for Maurice to reply and agree to meet up. They quickly settled for a place and time and agreed to talk more face-to-face.

After setting up their appointment, Dan began to regret his rash decision. He thought of what Phil would say if he were ever to find out Dan agreed to meet a total stranger to discuss about his power. There was no doubt in Dan’s mind that Phil would be completely against it.

That was mostly why, in the end, Dan decided not to tell him anything about it. Dan was going to come up with some excuse of why he was going out, then meet up with Maurice. If things went well, he would tell Phil about it, and if it didn’t go to plan, Phil wouldn’t know anything in the first place. It was a fool-proof plan.

Now all Dan needed to do was to meet up with Maurice and hope that he was not making a big mistake.

*

Dan was relieved to find out that Maurice really was telling the truth about seeing dead people, and he was only a few years older than him. One of the biggest fears Dan had about this meeting was not having known anything about Maurice, not even his age. At least now he could confirm that he was not old enough that Maurice could pass as his dad.

“Do you know anything else about people like us… apart from being able to see dead people”, Dan asked curiously.

Now that he knew someone who was in the same boat as him, Dan was desperate to find more about who they were and what they could do. Dan found it hard to believe that all he could do was see dead people. There have to be other things he could do, maybe even something he could do to help out Phil.

Maurice did not disappoint. “Did you seriously think that all you could do was see dead people? After all these years, you’ve never figured anything else out?”

Dan could feel himself turning red. How was he supposed to learn anything else about his power when, until a few days ago, he was certain that he was the only person in the whole world that could do this? Not to mention that half of the time he was too busy trying to hide his abilities from everyone else.

“Are you actually going to tell me what else we can do, or do I have to guess?” Dan asked sarcastically. So far, he was not impressed by Maurice’s attitude towards him.

“It’s not as simple as a lecture. There are things which I can’t describe but I can definitely show you. If you’re interested, that is.”

Of course Dan was interested. He would not be here if he didn’t want to learn more about his ability. He would be back home and hanging out with Phil.

“What else can people like you and me do then?”

The last thing he was expecting was for Maurice to smirk and shake his head. “I’ll show you everything you want to know and teach you. However, we can’t possibly do everything today and it’s getting late. How about we meet up another time?”

Dan was starting to get the impression that Maurice didn’t have much interest in talking to him about their abilities, and was much more interested in getting into his pants instead. The hungry look he was giving him only confirmed his suspicions.

He was so close to saying no and going back home, but then he thought of just who was waiting for him back at home. Phil. He needed to do this if he was going to have any luck in finding out a way to help out Phil get to the afterlife if he ever changed his mind.

“Fine, we’ll do it your way. I’ll meet you next week at the same coffee shop, and you can show me everything I need to know. Happy?”

Maurice wasn’t done trying to get what he wanted. “One meeting is not enough to get through everything. There’s a lot for me to teach you. I’ll make you a deal. We’ll meet at my place every Tuesday at five and I’ll teach you everything you want to know.”

Dan had no doubts over what Maurice was doing now. He didn’t have any actual interest in teaching him, and at this point, Maurice was just taking advantage of the situation. He must have realised that Dan was desperate for more information and decided to gain something from it.

At first thought, Dan didn’t have any intention in saying yes. Maurice didn’t interest him in the same way, and it was clear that they both wanted very different things from each other. Thinking about Phil again quickly changed Dan’s mind.

He needed Maurice, whether Dan liked it or not. Without him he was not going to learn anything new about his abilities and he would not be of any help. He wasn’t happy about having to spent so much time with Maurice, but it was clear that there weren’t many choices for him to choose from. Maurice got nothing out of helping him out and so he was not going to settle for anything else than what he was offering.

“Fine, it’s a deal. But I’m only meeting you for an hour every week. No more and no less.”

Phil wasn’t going to be happy about this.

*

“You did what?!” Phil yelled, looking at Dan as if he completely lost his mind. Dan couldn’t blame him, but there was no need for yelling.

“I know it sounds bad, but there’s a reason why I agreed in the first place. He’s going to teach me more about my ability, about what else I can do other than seeing dead people,” he rushed to explain.

Phil didn’t seem to be unfazed. “You agreed to meet a complete stranger without telling anyone about it, and now you’re telling me that you’ve agreed to go to his place once a week. Dan, I shouldn’t be telling you what a stupid idea this is,” he said, sounding exasperated.

“You know nothing about this guy. For all we know, he could be lying about seeing dead people and just using it as an excuse to take advantage of you. You can’t just show up to his place like that.”

Dan knew that what Phil was saying was true, but he also knew that he didn’t have any other choice. “What he told me fits perfectly with what I have experienced ever since I started seeing dead people. I don’t think he’s lying, Phil, and if there’s any chance for me to learn more about what I can do, I have to risk it. It’s the only way I can help you.”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say judging by the way Phil clenched his fists and looked away from him. “I’ve already told you that I don’t need your help! We agreed that you will give me the choice and going around to strangers’ homes for ‘lessons’ is not giving me a choice.”

Dan was getting tired of his attempts at helping being thrown back in his face by Phil over and over again. “I said I’m going to give you the choice and I have no intention of going back on my promise. But I want to have it all figured out in case you change your mind. Besides, did you ever think that maybe I’m not just doing this for you? That maybe after years of thinking I’m the only one who can see dead people, I’ve finally found someone who is like me? Who can understand me?”

Dan made sure not to mention anything about how Maurice did not particularly impress him with his attitude. Phil already seemed to be on edge, he didn’t want to end up making it worse. Let Phil think that he was happy to hang out with Maurice.

Phil let out a resigned sigh, then shook his head. “I don’t know why you even bothered telling me. It’s pretty clear to me that you never had any intention of listening to what I have to say. Go, hang out with Maurice. See if I care.” With that Phil disappeared and Dan was left alone in his bedroom, staring at thin air.

This had gone even worse than Dan was expecting.

*

Phil didn’t really talk to him for the next couple of days. He was adamant on telling Dan just how bad of an idea hanging out with Maurice was.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Dan? Because we’re talking about spending an hour every week with a complete asshole who only wants to get in your pants. It’s dangerous.”

Dan had enough of this. “I’m going to his place to learn more about my abilities. How is that dangerous? Besides, I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. Can’t you just trust me?”

Phil didn’t bring it up again after that but it was clear that he was not happy about the situation but Dan didn’t care. Phil would eventually get over it, and he would have more knowledge about what he could do.

The first session with Maurice wasn’t bad. He still tried flirting with Dan, but it never went further than that, and he did keep his end of the bargain by explaining to Dan more about their abilities and what they could do.

He even introduced Maurice to Phil and, even though the ghost was determined on hating him, at least now he could no longer give Dan grief over meeting with a stranger.

The problems only started later on, when it seemed as if Maurice was starting to get more confident in his advances on Dan.

“Not everyone can do what I do,” Maurice said. “I’ve met people whose powers are not strong enough; they can just hear dead people. Others can see them. People who are more powerful tend to have more capabilities. I have a good feeling about you.”

Dan ignored the smirk Maurice was directing his way. Instead, Dan only focused on the new information he was given. He could certainly do more than just hear dead people; Phil was proof. Not to mention that Dan could also touch them. Maybe Maurice wasn’t exactly wrong. “What can you do?”

Dan regretted asking Maurice the question as soon as he saw the shade of cockiness on the latter’s face.

“I’m glad you asked. I can do more than just talking to the dead. I have the ability to remove someone’s soul from their body and replace it with someone else’s. That’s pretty cool, but I think my favourite ability is being able to travel back in time. I’ve always wanted to be a time traveller.”

Dan wasn’t sure whether Maurice was just taking the piss or was being serious. Both abilities sounded far-fetched and he couldn’t help but think that Maurice just made them up to mess with him. Then again, even speaking to dead people sounded far-fetched to someone who couldn’t do it.

“Wouldn’t removing someone’s soul from their body kill them?” Dan asked, saying the first thing that came into his head.

Maurice shrugged. “Essentially, yes.”

Dan would have taken a step back from Maurice if he could.  Maybe Phil was onto something when he said Maurice could be dangerous. Someone who went around ripping people’s souls from their bodies didn’t  seem like the sort of person Dan wanted to be associated with.

Maurice must have noticed the effect of his words on Dan because he quickly backtracked. “I only did it once and I didn’t know what I was doing. I was still new to this whole thing and it just happened. I don’t make a habit out of ripping souls out of people.”

Something about the way he said it didn’t convince Dan. He was so invested in this new tidbit of information he got from Maurice that he barely thought about the fact that apparently Maurice could travel back in time.

“I think we should call it a day, I’m not feeling very well,” Dan said. He needed to get away from Maurice to try to process what he had been told.

“You’re leaving already? It hasn’t been an hour and our deal was that we meet up for an hour once a week.”

Dan knew he was right. Their deal was an hour every week, but he couldn’t force himself to stick through their meeting; not when his mind was filled with thoughts of people painfully having their souls ripped out of their bodies, leaving them in a comatose state. Dan’s thought was going to be the death of him.

“I know, but I’m really not feeling well today. We’ll continue next time.”

Maurice didn’t seem to be buying it, but at least it didn’t seem like he was going to argue. “Fine, we’ll continue this next week then. I’ll just give you something so that you don’t miss me until I see you again next week…”

Before Dan could get a chance to react, Maurice had already leaned in to kiss him. Dan quickly pushed him away in order to put more space between them. “What the Hell do you think you’re doing?!” Dan hissed.

Maurice didn’t even look remotely guilty. He was still smirking at Dan as if he hadn’t just kissed him out of the blue, given that he must have sensed that Dan wasn’t interested in him.

“Oh, come on, Dan. You must have realised that I like you.”

Unbelievable. Dan could not believe that Maurice was acting as if nothing was wrong. “And you must have realised that I have zero interest in you whatsoever, and yet you still kissed me. I think these meetings were a mistake. Don’t expect to see me next week,” he said, making a move to grab his bag. He was stopped by Maurice.

“I don’t think you want to do that, Dan,” said Maurice in a provocative voice that creeped out the wits of Dan. “At least not if you want to keep on seeing your precious Phil.”

That stopped Dan right in his tracks, turning cold. “What did you just say?”

“Let’s just say that I did a bit of research after you introduced us and I know where he is buried. I could very easily exorcise him if I wanted to. Do you really want that to happen to poor Phil?”

Dan wanted to punch the smirk off of Maurice’s face. He did not want to keep attending these ‘lessons’ with Maurice, not after what happened. Maurice made his intentions clear. Dan could see that he didn’t have any real interest on helping him learn more about his abilities.

As much as he wanted to tell Maurice to get lost and never see him again, he knew he couldn't do that. Dan wasn’t sure if Maurice was serious about exorcising Phil. He didn’t have any way of knowing if Maurice could really exorcise Phil to the afterlife, but he knew that he couldn’t risk it. Phil meant too much to him.

Maurice knew that, which is why he was looking so smug, like the cat that got the cream. “So, I’ll see you next week?”

Dan left without another word, but they both knew that he would be back.

*

Dan didn’t mention anything about what happened with Maurice to Phil. The ghost already hated him, and Dan didn’t want to give him more reasons to do so. Phil would probably insist Dan to stop seeing Maurice, even if it meant Maurice might carry out his threat of exorcising him. Dan couldn’t let that happen.

He also refrained from telling Phil about his newfound abilities. Maybe it was because he wasn’t sure about it himself, or maybe it was because he wanted to forget everything that happened from the second he met Maurice.

It was his fault he was in this situation in the first place. Phil warned him it was dangerous to meet up with a stranger and to take ‘lessons’ from him, but Dan didn’t listen. He was so excited at the idea of finally meeting someone like him and knowing more about his abilities that common sense went out of the window.

Now Phil was in danger and it was all because of him. The thought of Phil getting exorcised… Phil who was a great listener, who trusted him enough to tell him how he died, who spent hours watching movies with him.

Dan admitted - at least to himself - that what he felt  towards the ghost was more than the merely caring for a friend. However, it was completely ridiculous, and Dan knew that the chances of something more happening between them were slim. Phil was dead while Dan was very much alive.

But Dan would never let anything bad happen to Phil, even if it meant he had to keep seeing Maurice once every week.

“What’s up with you?” Phil asked, shaking him out of his thoughts. “You’ve been acting weird ever since you came back from meeting that guy. Did he do anything to you? Because if he did I swear I will-”

Dan cut him off before Phil could go on a rant on just what he would have done to Maurice if given the chance. “It’s fine, nothing happened. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Phil didn’t seem to believe him, but quickly gave up and changed the subject. “Do you want to watch a movie tonight? We haven’t done that in a week.”

Dan wanted so badly to say yes and be able to spend some quality time with Phil to forget everything about Maurice. Unfortunately, he couldn’t.

“I can’t. One of my stupid stepbrothers is throwing a party in the garden today, and my mum wants me to supervise while she and Clive are gone. Something about making sure things don’t get too wild,” he said, rolling his eyes.

Phil looked disappointed, but he nodded. “That’s fine, I understand. If your brother is involved in the planning of the party, then things are bound to get pretty crazy. I’ll leave you to it and wait for you here.”

Dan was hoping Phil would offer to keep him company during the party. No one he knew was going to be there except for his stepbrothers, and watching on while a bunch of teenagers were dancing horribly, drinking bottles after bottles of alcohol wasn’t exactly his idea of fun.

However, he understood why Phil wouldn’t really want to hang around. It didn’t really seem like it would be his kind of scene either. Not to mention the fact that Dan would be the only one capable of seeing him so he would be his only form of entertainment.

“I’ll try to sneak up here at some point, if things don’t get too crazy.”

Dan was positive he wouldn’t have any problems doing so. After all, what was the worst that could happen?

*

Things ended up going very badly.

It started like any other party did. People arrived and, after mingling, most of the guests moved on to the drinks table.

The music was a little too loud for Dan, but nothing worried him more than the party annoying neighbours and the impending noise complaints. Overall, it seemed like it was a fun night, and Dan was positive that if no one was being disruptive, he would able to sneak up to his room to hang out with Phil sooner than he thought.

Of course, that was when things started going wrong.

Dan was just about to head up to his room when he heard shouting coming from behind him. Since his mum made it pretty clear that he was responsible during the party, it was up to him to figure out what was going on and put a stop to it.

Dan groaned when he realised that the shouting was coming from two guys who seemed ready to attack each other. Dan deduced that they were both drunk and probably didn’t know what they were doing.

Dan asked people around him quickly, asking why the two drunk guys were almost throwing punches at each other. He was told that the two guys were fighting about a girl, and that only made Dan want to groan louder. Why couldn’t they just resolve their situation in a friendly way instead of ruining his plans to hang out with Phil?

He considered letting the two guys ‘discuss’ it between them, but knew he would have to interfere when one of them threw the first punch. His mum would kill him if she found out he let a fight break out in their garden.

Dan wasn’t a fighter and always preferred to hide in the shadows, especially when it meant avoiding fights, but today was not his lucky day.

“Guys, stop this. Someone is going to get hurt.”

They both seemed very uninterested in what Dan was saying, and so he found himself with no other choice than getting in between them in the hopes that he could speak some sense to them. He should have known it wasn’t a brilliant idea to do so.

His reflex hadn’t kicked in when a punch landed between his cheek and the bridge of his nose. Dan fell onto the ground, wincing from the impact of the punch.

Dan could feel blood oozing from his nose, and he was almost sure it was broken. The two guys who were fighting in the first place where nowhere to be seen and the rest of the guests were quick to leave when they found Dan on the ground, hurt. No one offered to help, but Dan could hear murmurs around him. He was on his own.

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this embarrassed. So much for trying to end a dispute. Dan quickly pulled himself up before more guests could see him, and ran to his bedroom only to come face to face with Phil.

Shit. He forgot that Phil was waiting for him in his room to watch a movie in case he managed to sneak away from the party.

Phil looked shocked. He wasn’t expecting for Dan to be done with the party so soon, and definitely not with blood gushing out of his nose.

“What happened?” He asked, quickly snapping out of his stupor, reaching for a wet towel from the bathroom. Phil pulled Dan to sit, and held his head up then pressed the wet towel to his nose as gently as possible. “Do you think it’s broken?”

Dan really didn’t want to recount the story of how he tried stopping a fist fight between two guys, then ended up being the one getting punched, so he tried keeping it as vague as possible. He wanted some of his dignity to remain intact.

“There was a bit of a fight but nothing big. I don’t think it’s broken, but I’m no doctor.”

Phil realised Dan was feeling embarrassed about it, so he didn’t push him further for explanations. He just held the towel to Dan’s nose in silence until the bleeding subsided, then popped away for a minute to get Dan a bag of frozen peas. “I don’t know if these will be much help, but I’ve seen they do it in movies, so I thought you could give it a try.”

Dan couldn’t help but to smile at what Phil said, but winced painfully since smiling apparently didn’t help his aching, probably broken, nose. Dan took the bag of frozen peas and held it up to his nose. The coolness of the bag helped slightly in numbing the pain. Dan nodded at the ghost gratefully.  “Thanks, this helps a lot.”

Phil selected the movie they would be watching that night, so that Dan wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with Phil worrying over Dan’s condition. They spent the next two hours enjoying the movie and each other’s company.

By the time the movie was over, Dan was half asleep and his head was resting on Phil’s shoulder. If he wasn’t so tired, he would think about moving away, giving the ghost his space since they were practically cuddling, but he didn’t. Instead, Dan just edged closer with the excuse of feeling cold.

“Thanks for taking care of me.

Phil just shrugged it off with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. It actually wasn’t so bad. I’m just glad your nose wasn’t broken, although it’s probably going to bruise for the next couple of days or weeks.”

Dan wasn’t too upset about it. This was much better than having to go to A&E for a broken nose, then having to explain to his mum how he broke it when he was supposed to be the one in charge while she was gone. It was better for everyone this way.

“Still,” he said, lifting his head slightly to look at Phil. “I appreciate it, so thank you.”

Dan didn’t know who leaned in first. It could have been him, but it could also be Phil. All he knew was that they were kissing, and Dan was enjoying it. He was enjoying it a lot.

Or at least he was before he felt Phil pushing him away, and he found himself sprawled on his back on the bed, almost falling off, looking at Phil in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

Phil was looking more panicked by the second. “I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so sorry.”

That only left Dan more confused. What was Phil sorry about? Wasn’t it obvious that Dan wanted that to happen, and was willing to kiss Phil back? “There’s no need to apologise. I wanted that.”

Unfortunately, his confession did nothing to calm the ghost down. “Don’t you get it?” Phil finally snapped, looking at Dan as if he was the one freaking out. “I’m dead and you’re very much alive. Nothing can come out of this! I’ll end up ruining your life.”

Phil made a compelling argument. It wasn’t exactly something Dan would argue against, considering he was often thinking the same thing whenever he thought of the ghost. But having Phil saying it out loud somehow made it worse. Dan didn’t want to think that their relationship was a mistake.

“But in what way could you ruin my life? I know you’re dead, and I’m one of the few people who can see you, but we can figure something out. Don’t you want to at least give it a try?”

For a second Phil looked tempted, and Dan was sure that he managed to somehow convinced Phil, but it didn’t last long.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that to you.”

Phil was gone within the blink of an eye, leaving Dan to stare at the empty space Phil had left behind.

*

Dan didn’t have a clue of where Phil was, but he definitely wasn’t in his room. He didn’t catch a single glimpse of him since they shared their kiss which meant the ghost was hiding from him.

It’s not that Dan was expecting anything, considering the ghost was completely freaking out the last time he saw Dan, but it still hurt. Dan thought they had finally gotten somewhere when they kissed. Instead, it went downhill.

One step forward, two steps back.

Things would have been easier if Dan had any idea where Phil was hiding. He could corner him and convince him to talk before the ghost could disappear once again.

Unfortunately, Phil managed to keep his distance from Dan. Phil didn’t even seem to care what was happening between them, and Dan could feel himself going crazy. Dan just wanted to talk. Was it too much to ask?

This kept going for a while until Dan decided that it was time for some drastic measures.

He got up one morning and left for school as usual. He attended the first two lessons and then, when he was absolutely sure both his mother and Clive would have left the house, he made his way back home. Dan thought it would be the perfect way to corner Phil since the ghost would not be expecting him back home so soon.

His plan ended up failing since he couldn’t find Phil anywhere in the house. Dan could have just given up. Phil couldn’t hide from him forever, and eventually, they would get the chance to talk. But Dan didn’t want to wait. It was something they needed to talk about.

I did say that drastic times call for drastic measures, he thought.

“I’m sick and tired of this Phil,” Dan yelled, trying not to feel foolish over shouting into the wind. He impatiently waited for a reply. No reply from Phil.

Dan knew that the ghost was listening to his every word. He just needed to figure out what would make Phil snap and come out from hiding.

“I’m serious, Phil! You know… you’re not the only one who kissed me lately,” Dan said challengingly, though a part of him regretted it for taking it too far.

“Maurice gave it a try last week. I stopped him, told him I wasn’t interested. I might just go back right now; finish whatever we left off. Not that you would care, right, considering that you’re still ignoring me.”

Dan smirked when he heard a dull thud that came from behind, but quickly recovered. “Interesting that the thought of me making out with Maurice made you change your mind.”

“He kissed you?” Phil asked, bewildered, completely disregarding what Dan had said.

Dan needed to be really careful about what he had to say next. Phil didn’t need to know about what Maurice told him about Dan’s other abilities, and definitely not the fact that Maurice had threatened Dan.

“He did, when we met last week. I didn’t let him kiss me. I did what you did: I pushed him away,” he said. Dan knew he was being petty, but he couldn’t help it. He, too, kissed Phil, and was pushed away.

Phil looked distraught, but he quickly turned away to leave Dan once again.

Dan quickly grabbed a hold of Phil’s arm before he could disappear again. “Stop that! You’re behaving like a child. I’m not going to jump you and force you to kiss me. I just want to talk.”

“I like you Dan, I really do. But if you want something more out of our relationship, that’s too much to ask; it’ll never work. I’m dead and you’re alive. I can’t take you out on dates, I can’t meet your parents. You’re the only one who can see me. A relationship where we would be happy and alive would make no sense!”

Dan knew that already, but he didn’t care. He liked Phil more than he had ever liked anyone before. Dan realised that he was acting selfish, but all he wanted was a chance to be with the one he loved.

“I know our situation isn’t normal. Hell, it’s so unusual that it’s laughable; madness. But do you really not want to give us a chance?”

For a moment, Dan was certain that Phil was actually thinking about it. Dan wanted to give him more of a reason to say yes. “If you’re so worried about not being able to take me out on dates, I have just the solution. I know a place, it’s near the lake. It’s well-hidden; no one knows about it. We can go there as often as you like. Maybe for a picnic and… other things.”

Dan’s words seemed to be the push Phil needed to finally take the leap. He inched closer, and pulled Dan in for a kiss he had been dreaming about ever since their first kiss. Dan broke the kiss, but positioned his forehead against Phil’s. “Took you long enough,” he mumbled.

Phil rolled his eyes, and kissed Dan again.

“So, that lake you mentioned,” Phil said, as he pulled away from the kiss, “want to go there some time?”

*

As much as Dan hated Maurice, he wanted information. But their meeting was over promptly, and Maurice didn’t give him any information. Dan lost count of how many times he avoided the the stranger’s advances.

Maurice couldn’t care less even after Dan told him he was seeing someone. Dan observed Maurice and deduced that the guy seemed like the kind of person who wasn’t used to being told no, and so he behaved as if he was oblivious to the fact that Dan wasn’t interested in him. If it wasn’t for Phil, he would have left Maurice ages ago.

He jumped when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but quickly smiled when he realised what it meant. Their meeting was coming to an end, and he could finally leave and go on a date Phil promised him in the morning.

Dan got up to leave, but was blocked at the door by a smirking Maurice. “Are you sure I can’t interest you in staying for a little longer? I’ve got a bottle of wine that we can share.”

Dan refrained himself from rolling his eyes. Instead, he politely shook his head. “Thanks, but I actually have a date that I need to get to. Maybe next time,” he said, even though in his head he was already thinking of how he was going to avoid another proposition from Maurice for the following next week.

Maurice was obviously not happy about it, but at least he let Dan leave without anymore complications.

Dan quickly made his way to the lake, and was glad to find Phil waiting for him at the entrance of the park. “I spent an hour with Maurice. I had to ward off his advancements, so I hope you brought food. I’m starving.”

Dan knew that mentioning Maurice’s name never failed to make Phil jealous, even though the ghost was aware that Dan was not interested in the guy. A little jealousy never hurt anyone, and that’s why Dan liked to bring him up occasionally.

Phil pulled him in for an intense kiss, and Dan smirked. Bingo.

Since Dan was the one who knew where the hidden area was, he was in charge of leading the way.

The view did not disappoint Phil. The area wasn’t spacious, so they didn’t have much space to move around, but they had a perfect view of the lake, shining under the sunlight.

Phil took care of spreading out an old blanket for them to sit on, then took out various foods from his bag. “You better appreciate the effort I went through to get all of this prepared without anyone catching me. Explaining to your mum or step-father why sandwiches were floating in the air in the kitchen wouldn’t be fun.”

Dan couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the thought of that. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that as he was the only one who could see Phil. What Dan deemed as normal would freak other people out as they can’t see ghosts, like his mum once did.

Dan took a bite of the sandwich and smiled. “Well, you’ll be happy to know that your efforts were very much appreciated. This tastes great; just what I needed after a long day.”

Phil tried to look as if he didn’t really care whether Dan liked the sandwiches or not, but Dan could tell from the blush on Phil's face, that he appreciated the compliment.

Spending time together like this made them forgot that that they were not like the usual couples. Like this, enjoying each other’s company, and soaking up the sun, it was easy to forget that outside of their little world, things were not as straightforward.

Dan sometimes couldn’t help but think of what his mum would say if she were to meet Phil. She would probably say that Phil was a good influence on him and she would probably be happy that Dan had finally found someone he loved and cared about, after the mess that was Ollie.

He always tried to quickly shake himself out of such thoughts. Thinking about things that could never happen would lead them to nowhere. He wanted to enjoy the times he got to hang out with Phil like this with no interruption.

Dan saw Phil sneakily move his hand in order to take the last sandwich, and quickly snatched it from under his nose, laughing at the affronted look the ghost aimed at him. “Better luck next time,” he said, taking a bite of the sandwich.

He should have known that Phil would not let him get away with it, and that was how they spent the rest of the day chasing each other around the little clearing and kissing softly on the blanket whenever they got tired of running.

*

Things were going great for Dan for the first time of his life, but he couldn’t help but to make the mistake of thinking it was going to remain that way.

Maurice quickly ruined his good mood and optimism during their next meeting.

“You know,” Maurice began as soon as Dan walked in, not even offering his guest a simple ‘Hello’. “When you told me you couldn’t go out with me because you were seeing someone, it never even crossed my mind that you would lower your standards so that you could date a ghost.”

Dan felt his blood run cold. Maurice was never supposed to know that he was dating Phil. That was supposed to be their own little secret. Even though Phil never failed to let him know just how much he didn’t like Maurice, Dan knew the ghost wouldn’t be stupid enough to go and confront Maurice without telling Dan.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, acting as undoubtedly clueless as he could. For all he knew, Maurice was just guessing, and it just so happened to be right. Dan needed to be careful not to validate Maurice’s assumptions, and Dan’s secret with Phil would be fine. At least that was what he thought at first.

“I couldn’t help but feel curious when you told me you were actually dating someone. I wanted to know who this person was, but I knew you would never tell me, so I followed you,” he admitted, a smirk stuck firmly on his face.

“Imagine my shock when I saw you kissing that ghost you’re always so adamant on protecting. Everything makes a lot more sense now.”

Dan was at a complete loss of what to do. Maurice had seen them, and that made it difficult for him to somehow lie his way out of it. He remembered Maurice’s threatening words that convinced Dan to agree to weekly meetings with Maurice in order to protect Phil.

That was before Maurice was aware of Dan’s relationship with the ghost. Dan got the feeling that things were about the get a lot worse.

“I don’t think I’ve ever pursued anyone who has told me no before, and you’ve done it over and over again. You rejected me so that you could be with a ghost who’s been dead for years?” Maurice hissed, smirk dropping off to be replaced with a grimace. “He can’t give you what you want, but I can. Think about it, Dan. Are you going to spend the rest of your life with someone only you can see?”

Dan was terrified. This was the exact situation he wanted to avoid, and he didn’t know to what length Maurice would go to. That didn’t mean he was going to let anyone talk about Phil like that.

“Phil might be a ghost, but he’s ten times the man you are,” he snapped.

That was the wrong thing to say.

“You’re going to regret saying that. Have you forgotten that I can do things you haven’t learned yet? I can go back to the past and stop Phil from getting himself killed in that fire. There won’t be any ghost for you to kiss, then. Or there will be, but he’ll have no idea who you are.”

Phil was right, Dan admitted. He shouldn’t have ignored the risks and he shouldn’t have agreed to the weekly ‘lessons’ in the first place, knowing that Maurice was interested in other things. What was he supposed to do now?

Maurice wasn’t lying about what he would do. Their ‘lessons’ consisted more of Dan ignoring Maurice’s flirts than learning anything, but it goes without saying that Maurice was still more knowledgeable than Dan was.

If Maurice really could go to the past and keep Phil from getting murdered, then Dan had no way of stopping him. Dan didn’t have a clue on how people like them could go to the past. And even if he did, what was he supposed to do? Tie Maurice up until he gave up and taking them back to present time?

Dan didn’t have much time to think things through. He could see Maurice’s skin losing colour, almost as if he was turning into a ghost himself, and it was then it dawned on him that he didn’t know anything.

“It wasn’t hard to figure out when and how your little boyfriend died. I’ll admit that I haven’t got a clue of who killed him, but that’s not going to matter when I get to be the one saving him from death. You should be thanking me, because I’m about to give him a second chance at living. If you really liked him, you would be helping me, not stopping me.”

That made Dan pause. As much as he hated Maurice, he couldn’t deny that he had a point. Wasn’t he the one who was desperate to learn about who killed Phil in order to help him get to the afterlife? He should be all for the idea of giving Phil another chance. No one deserved it more than him.

But Dan wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Judging by the fact that Maurice looked so transparent that Dan could barely even see him anymore, whatever Maurice was doing was working. Dan wasn’t even going to get a chance to see Phil for the last time.

He couldn’t let that happen. Before he think about it too much, he jumped forward and grabbed onto Maurice’s hand.

Everything turned into a blur.

*

When Dan regained consciousness, he was greeted by the sight of Maurice glaring at him. “What the Hell is wrong with you? I could have killed you!”

Dan tried not to think too much about what could have happened to him if things went awry, instead, focused on the situation he found himself in.

It seemed Dan had somehow traveled to the past with Maurice when he grabbed onto him. It meant that he still had a chance of saving Phil. All he needed to do was keep Maurice from stopping Phil’s murderer.

But it made Dan pause. He could stop the murderer and save Phil. It meant Phil wouldn’t have to spend years stuck in a limbo. It meant he wouldn’t have go through the pain of being burnt alive.

The only downside to this was the fact that Dan would never see Phil again. He would lose the only relationship he ever had in his life. The only true friend. But was that more important than Phil getting to live his life?

Dan was being selfish, he knew that. Maurice was about to give Phil something which Dan hadn’t been able to give himself, and instead of being happy for him and trying to help out in every way he could, he was planning on putting a stop to it.

If Dan really loved Phil like he thought he did, then he knew what he had to do - he needed to do everything he could to keep Phil alive. Phil would get another chance at life and, hopefully, when he did eventually die, he would not be stuck in a limbo, unable to move on to the afterlife. It was the least he could do for someone who had made such an impact on his life.

Maurice seemed on edge. He probably thought that Dan was still intending on trying to stop him. Little did he know that Dan had decided on doing the very opposite of that, even though it was killing him on the inside.

“No need to keep staring at me like that. I’m not going to stop you. I’m going to help you.”

The bewildered look on Maurice’s face helped making Dan feel a little better. At least until Maurice managed to shake off his shock and gave him his signature smirk - the smirk that never failed to make Dan’s skin crawl.

“I knew you would get it eventually. Honestly, it took a little longer than I had hoped for, but at least you get it now. Don’t see this as me trying to ruin your life. Think of it as me helping your little ghost friend out.”

Dan took a deep breath. He needed to stay on Maurice's good side for all the help he can get. Punching him in the face like he desperately wanted to do would probably be counterproductive. It was hard not to try and wipe that stupid smirk off of his face, though.

“Don’t get cocky. I’m going to help you because I love Phil, and he deserves a second chance. I still can’t stand you and, once we get back, you can forget about our weekly sessions.”

Maurice ignored him and started walking towards a house that shared some similarities with the one Dan currently lived in. Whoever rebuilt the house after the fire decided to keep some of its original characteristics. But somehow, it reminded him of his room, where Phil would be waiting for him. Dan’s heart ached.

Dan quickly followed Maurice and grabbed his arm to stop him. “What exactly is the plan? We can’t just break into the house and drag Phil out. Not to mention that we still have no idea who murdered him in the first place.”

Maurice didn’t seem worried at all. In fact, Dan would actually dare say that Maurice knew more about Phil’s murderer than he was letting on.

“Did you think I was going to travel all the way to the past without having a clear idea of what I was working with and what would need to be done?” Maurice snapped, then rolled his eyes. “Have faith in me, Dan. I happen to know that your little friend’s parents had the tendency to leave the backdoor unlocked in the afternoon, because Phil was always around. We just need to get in and find Phil.”

Dan could only stare at him. “How the Hell do you know all that? Phil couldn’t have been the one to tell you, he would have told me first. Not to mention he happens to hate your guts.”

“I didn’t need your ghost’s help to figure everything out,” Maurice said, exasperated. “You shouldn’t forget that you’re not the only one who can see dead people, Dan. I can see them too, and I’m more experienced than you. I saw the ghost of Phil’s father lurking near your house. Did you know your boyfriend had a really turbulent relationship with his dad? Or should I say stepdad?”

Dan could feel a ball of dread dropping in his stomach when he heard of Phil’s father because he got the feeling that he knew where this was going. “What does his dad have to do with anything?”

“Do you even need to ask me that, Dan?” Maurice asked, beamused. “Phil’s stepdad was the one who murdered him. They never got on well, and Paul felt like Phil was always trying his best to turn his mother against him. One day, they got into an argument, and Paul had enough. He waited until Phil was sleeping then set the whole house on fire. I found it quite ironic how he did everything out of fear of losing his wife but risked her life as well in order to get rid of Phil.”

Dan was left speechless. He had no doubts that even if he had spent months looking for information about what happened on the night Phil was murdered, he would have never figured out the truth. He would have never realised that the person behind the whole thing was Phil’s own stepdad. It certainly didn’t help that Phil had never confided in him regarding his relationship with his family members.

Phil lost his life because a person he considered family hated him enough to murder him. He was left to burn alive in his own bedroom because his stepdad considered him to be a danger to his relationship with his wife.

“So how exactly are you planning on saving him?” Dan managed to mumble once he got his emotions under control.

“Simple. You get Phil out of his room and out of the house. I’ll stop his stepdad from burning the whole house to the ground.”

“You do realise that there is nothing remotely simple about your plan right?” Dan said, if he should be taking Maurice seriously. “How do you expect me to convince Phil to listen to what I say and get out of the house? In case you’ve forgotten, ‘alive Phil’ doesn’t know me. I think the chances of him trusting an intruder are very slim.”

All Maurice did was roll his eyes. “Introduce yourself! Do whatever you did to get the ghost interested in you and use it on this Phil. Charm him. Flirt a little.”

Dan could already tell that this whole mission was going to end up disastrously. If Phil’s chances of not dying that night rested on him having to trust a complete stranger who intruded his home, and flirting him, then Phil was as good as dead.

However, Dan was aware that they didn’t have much time. It wouldn’t be long now until Phil’s dad sneaked out, and they needed to get to work before it was too late.

“Just to be clear, I still think your plan is shit, but there’s not enough time to come up with something else. I’ll try my best to get Phil out of the house, but it’s going to be hard, so you need to keep his dad from setting fire to the house,” he said, already making his way around the house in order to get to the back door.

Just as Maurice said, the back door was unlocked, and Dan didn’t have any trouble making his way inside. His mind flooded with Phil’s recount of the night he died, and he quickly figured where Phil’s room was located, and didn’t waste anymore time.

Dan tried to move as quietly and quickly as possible. He couldn’t afford someone hearing or seeing him. It would raise a lot of questions that he would not be able to answer, not to mention ruin their whole plan.

He couldn’t help but hesitate once he finally got to Phil’s room - the same room he had been sleeping in for the past few months. The same room where he met Phil for the first time, and where they eventually started getting to know each other. The room where Dan fell in love with Phil.

Dan was determined to save Phil, and it would be as if everything they had shared together, never actually happened. Dan was terrified that the second he saw Phil - his Phil - alive and well, he wouldn’t be able to go through the ordeal. He wouldn’t be able to stop his murder from happening, not knowing that, in doing so, he would never be able to see him again.

Taking a deep breath, Dan reached his hand out and opened the door. It revealed a dark room, and Dan saw a figure - Phil - on the bed, sleeping soundly. How was he going to get Phil out of his room to somewhere safer?

Knowing that there was no time for him to waste, Dan shuffled closer to the bed, then hesitantly tapped Phil on the back in an attempt to wake him up. When that didn’t work, he tapped the latter’s shoulder with vigour. Phil tousled in his bed. Dan was pleased to see Phil slowly waking up.

At least, until Phil bolted up when he saw an unfamiliar figure looming over his bed, startled, and before Phil had the chance to scream, Dan quickly covered the latter’s mouth preventing Phil from waking up his mother and stepfather.

“Please don’t shout! I’m not going to hurt you,” Dan said hastily. He hushed Phil who was retaliating under his grip, and Dan listened attentively for footfalls. His first mission was cleared. Now, time to convince Phil to trust him. “Look, I know you have no idea who I am, but I’m here to help you. I’ll remove my hands if you promise not to scream. I just want to explain myself. Do you promise?”

Phil frantically nodded.

Dan hesitantly removed his hands from Phil’s mouth. He was relieved when Phil kept his word. “I know this sounds insane, but I’m here to… I’m here to save your life. Hear me out! Someone is going to murder you in a few minutes and you don’t deserve that. That’s why you need to listen to me, and you need to get out of the house right now, for your own safety,” Dan said quickly. He was under immense pressure, and their time was running out, and Phil’s refusal to cooperate is something he didn’t want to deal with at the moment.

But to Dan’s surprise, Phil simply jumped out of his bed and did what Dan said, no questions asked. But this Phil wasn’t Dan’s Phil even though, deep down, he knows that his Phil was in this Phil.

The air was unusually still, and Dan was nervous. He saw Phil’s face; scowling. Dan didn’t expect for Phil to burst out laughing after Dan intruded his house, his room, and his sleep.

Once he calmed down, Phil turned to face Dan, looking angry, nonetheless. “Look,” Phil began to speak for the first time. “I have no idea who you are, or what you drank before you barged in here but clearly, you’re a bit out of it. I’m not as cruel as other people who live in this house, so if you walk out right now, I won’t call the police.”

Dan had known that Maurice’s plan was stupid and it had no chance of working, but he was still a little disappointed. A part of him had been hopeful that maybe this Phil he was facing would feel whatever connection they shared back in the future, but it was clear now this was just Dan’s wishful thinking.

“I’m so sorry,” Dan said, leaving Phil looking confused. “I know you don’t believe me right now, but I’m doing this for your own safety. If you don’t get out of the house, you’ll die.”

Dan grabbed Phil’s wrist. Phil was still disoriented, and Dan started dragging him out of the room, but Phil was not making it easy. He quickly fought back. He knew they were not going to make it outside if they continued like this.

“Please just listen to me, we have to go outside…”

“Let go of me! You’re out of your mind for breaking into my house, expecting me to believe some crazy story about someone trying to kill me,” Phil said, pulling his wrist and kicking his feet to try and break Dan’s hold on him.

“It’s not just anyone, it’s your stepdad. You had an argument today, didn’t you? He’s still pissed at you and thinks you’re trying to break him and your mum up and he’s going to get rid of you!” Dan hissed desperately.

It didn’t matter what he said. Phil was not interested in listening to anything Dan had to say, and Dan couldn’t blame him. If their roles had been reversed, Dan surely wouldn’t believe a stranger that broke into his home and started spouting out crazy stories about a crazy stepdad wanting  to kill him too. Who was he kidding? Dan definitely wouldn’t believe it.

He was just about to let Phil go and start thinking of an alternative plan when he heard it. There were voices coming from outside. “No, no, no, it’s too early…” Dan muttered to himself, quickly getting up and moving to the window. The sight of fire was unmistakable.

“Dan!”

He whirled around at the sound of his name, to be greeted with the sight of a panicked looking Maurice running into Phil’s room.

“What the Hell is going on here?” Phil snapped, looking between them like the apocalypse was coming. “Look, I don’t know what the Hell you two think you’re doing but it’s not funny and you need to get the Hell out right now before I call to the police.”

Maurice ignored Phil. “We need to get out of here right now. I couldn’t stop his stepdad. I tried to reason with him, and then used force when he wouldn’t listen to me, but he hit me. Let’s go,” he said, taking a hold of Dan’s hand and starting to pull him out.

Dan shook Maurice’s grip off him and moved back. He quickly walked over to Phil, who at this point was starting to realise that what Dan had been telling him might not have been so crazy.

“Listen, I know this is all probably really overwhelming but we need to leave or we’re going to end up burning alive.”

“I-I can’t..”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Maurice snarled before pulling on Dan’s hand again. “His stepdad surrounded the whole house with fuel. This place is going to burn down before you know it. Let’s get the Hell out of here.”

But Dan couldn’t leave. He couldn’t leave Phil to die, not after he travelled so far into the past to stop everything from happening. Maurice was right, if they left now the ghost version of Phil - his Phil - would still be there to welcome him home, but it wasn’t worth it.

The Phil welcoming him back in his time would just be a shell of the man he was seeing in front of him right now. He was a version who could be seen only by Dan and others who shared his gift. The man he had slowly fallen in love with deserved so much more than that.

But Dan wouldn’t be able to live knowing that he saved his own ass and left Phil… the real Phil… to burn alive.

“I can’t… Maurice, we can’t just leave after all of this. He’s going to die in here. I love him, I can’t leave.”

Maurice looked at him like Dan had lost his mind.

“What difference will it make? Instead of him just dying, you’ll be dying with him. Is that what you want? Sacrificing your life so you can die together like Romeo and Juliet?” Maurice sneered in a mocking tone. “Suit yourself, but I’m not hanging around to watch it. I’m out of here.”

Dan could see Maurice start to fade out, and all he could do was stare at him with wide eyes. He never liked Maurice, but he had never thought that he would abandon him like that.

“What the Hell is wrong with you people?”

Turning around, Dan saw Phil staring at Maurice with complete bewilderment. “I have no idea what the Hell you’re talking about… both of you, but I’m not stupid. I understand if you don’t want to save me because you don’t know me, but you obviously know each other. You can’t just leave him here,” he said, pointing at Dan.

Dan heard a creaking noise coming from underneath them. They didn’t have a lot of time. A look at Phil let him know that the other was aware of it too.

“If he wants to risk his life to stick with you, then he’s more than welcome to do that.”

Another creak, another warning that they were surviving on borrowed time. The floor was not going to hold them up forever. The house was burning down and it wouldn’t be long until it gave out underneath them.

Maurice was almost gone at this point, and Dan felt helpless. Dan and Phil were doomed.

Everything was a blur to Dan after that. He saw Phil running towards him and covering his body with his own. Phil pushed him towards Maurice and all he could do was grab on to the vanishing boy. The floor underneath them gave way straight after, but before his mind started working, Dan’s body spinned and saw Phil’s face looking sad and horrified at the same time, and then all Dan saw was complete darkness.

*

The first thing he saw when he came into consciousness was white. Looking around he realised that he was staring at the white walls of the hospital. “W-What am I doing here?” Dan thought to himself.

A hand squeezing his own brought his attention away from the hospital walls to the figure sitting beside his bed. What he saw made Dan’s breath caught in his throat.

Phil. His Phil. Not the one in the past who had no idea who Dan was. This was the ghost, but Dan couldn’t help but to think that he preferred him like this or maybe he was just biased because the ghost was looking at him with adoration.

“What happened?” Dan croaked, at which point he allowed Phil to help him sit up and drink half a glass of water.

“You were stupid, that’s what happened,” Phil said, but his harsh words were softened by the fond tone he uttered them in. “Next time, when you decide to travel back in time to save someone’s life, how about you let me know so that I’d at least know what to expect?”

Dan couldn’t quite understand how Phil knew about what had happened. Had Maurice woken up before him and admitted to everything?

Phil must have caught the confused look on Dan’s face because he sighed. “I know your sessions with Maurice usually last an hour, so when you didn’t come back home after two hours, I started getting worried. I dropped by at Maurice’s and found both of you passed out on the floor. But I saw another body there with yours.”

Dan froze. There was no way they could have brought past Phil here with them when they travelled back to their present time. But who else would the third body belong to if not past Phil? A nod from Phil confirmed his suspicions.

“Is… is he okay?” He asked, unsure of what he was supposed to say in a situation like this.

Phil sighed and shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’m in a coma. Well… not exactly me. My past self. No one knows for sure what’s wrong with me, but I think I have an idea. My past self can’t live in this time; not when I’m inhabiting this time as a ghost. You know what I mean?”

This was all so strange and so new that Dan wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t anymore. He still understood what Phil was trying to tell him, regardless of his circumstances. Phil from the past couldn’t live in this time with ghost Phil still around. He was dying.

Dan should have never messed with time.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

Phil gave him a weak smile and squeezed his hand again. It seemed as if they were both left without words after what happened.

“What’s going to happen to you?”

Phil sighed and that’s when Dan knew that it wasn’t going to be good news. “I can’t be sure but I don’t think I have much time left here. My body is slowly dying, and you helped me figure out who murdered me all those years ago, so it won’t be long now until I get to go to the afterlife.”

Now more than ever, Dan wished he had somehow stopped Maurice from going back in time. He knew it now: messing with time caused consequences, and those consequences hurt more than one could imagine.

He tried to save Phil from the fire because he knew he deserved another chance, but when they didn’t manage to do it, he really thought he would be able to go back to his Phil and enjoy their time together. He failed to realise that finally knowing who murdered him would mean Phil would finally be able to move on to the afterlife without anything holding him back.

Phil must have realised how devastated Dan felt. Phil felt responsible to change the subject. “Can you walk?” When Dan slowly nodded, Phil continued, “Come on, I want to get a look at myself again. It’s so strange seeing myself alive again, even if in a coma. I’d gotten used to looking pale and no one being able to see me.”

Dan let out a watery laugh and allowed Phil to lead him to the Intensive Care Unit.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw Phil’s body lying on the bed. It was surreal seeing Phil’s his chest moving up and down slowly with every breath he took, despite having to have a ventilator to help him breathe. Even unconscious, he looked breathtakingly beautiful and it pained Dan to know he was dying. He didn’t even get the chance to hug him and feel his warmth rather than the chill he always felt when hugging Phil’s spirit. The sound of the ECG machine beeping loudly but steadily made Dan’s heart clench. At least Phil was still alive.

Dan was about to say that Phil looked beautiful when he noticed Phil slowly fading away, almost like Maurice did when he travelled back in time.

Phil let out a shaky breath then gave Dan a sad smile. “I guess it’s time for me to go,” he whispered, voice cracking with emotion.

Dan desperately wanted to be strong because he knew that, at the end of the day, this was something good, even if it hurt him. Phil had waited years aimlessly for the chance to move on to the afterlife; he deserved to finally get the chance to move on.

It still didn’t stop Dan from tearing up. “I’m going to miss you,” he said in a shaky voice, trying to get his emotions under control.

“Me too,” Phil said, taking a hold of his hand and squeezing it. “Thank you… thank you for trusting me, for being my friend, for doing your best to help me out.”

Phil leaned in to kiss Dan for one last time and, in doing so, his hand brushed the leg of his unconscious body. They stopped, and the next thing Dan realised, he saw Phil’s body covered in white light and Phil was gone in a blink. Dan was finally alone in the ward with nothing but Phil’s lifeless body on the bed.

He dropped into a chair and rested his head against the bed sheets. With Phil gone, there was no need for him to be strong anymore, and soon found himself crying. “I love you,” he mumbled, taking Phil’s cold hand into his. The sound of the ECG machine made Dan become aware of Phil’s current state. He wasn’t dead.

That was when Dan felt his hand being gripped tightly, and his head snapped to look up. Phil’s arm moved. Dan saw Phil’s pale knuckle gripping Dan’s  own. Dan stood, alarmed. He saw Phil frown, but slowly trying to open his eyes, trying his best to adjust to the harsh white light in the room.

“Phil?” he asked, alarmed.

“W-where am I?” Phil’s raspy voice said inaudibly, but Dan gets closer to him to hear Phil repeat his question once again. “Where am I?”

“In the hospital. I-I’m gonna get the nurse. W-wait, I’ll be back in a second,” Dan panicked, rushing out to find a nurse.

*

“Dan!” His mum called from downstairs. This was the third time she was calling him but there was still no sign of Dan coming down the stairs. Dan was taking his time. Going to the Winter Dance with his boyfriend will only happen once in a lifetime, and Dan wanted to look as perfect as possible. He wanted to live the moment and… maybe he wanted to make a big entrance too.

Dan reached for his phone to check for messages, but realised that he had made everyone waited for him for five minutes. Standing in front of the mirror, he was satisfied with how smart he looked. He smiled at his reflection in the mirror, and promised himself a great time at the dance. Quickly, he grabbed his phone and keys then started to make his way downstairs.

As he was making his way down, he caught sight of his oldest stepbrother hurriedly making his way upstairs with an armful of books. “Am I about to start seeing pigs flying? Because if you are actually studying, then anything can happen.”

All he got in return was a glare, but his stepbrother did stop before entering his room. “Hey, Dan,” he called out. “You look good.” Before Dan could say thank you, he had already closed his door behind him.

That was the only positive interaction they had so far.  

Dan looked down onto his feet to watch where he was stepping before he rolled down the stairs, but when he looked up, he smiled at the sight that greeted him.

Clive was asking everyone who happened to be in his way to taste some new dish he was preparing for dinner. His mum was playing around with the camera in her hands, trying to figure out how it worked.

And then there was Phil. Dan couldn’t get over how Phil looked absolutely breathtaking in his black tux and bowtie. He couldn’t wait for the Winter Dance to end so he could have fun taking off Phil’s tux when they were spending the night at his boyfriend’s new apartment.

Dan stopped short at the sight of Phil, and he had to bite his lip to keep himself from showing everyone just how much it was affecting him.

It was a pretty typical family scene of the parents making a big deal out of their child’s first school dance and their date picking them up, but to Dan, it meant something more. Because his family could actually see his date.

He was dating someone real and not a ghost that only he could see. He was going to attend the school dance with his very real boyfriend, and he got to show him off to all his schoolmates, instead of going alone like he planned all those months ago.

Dan’s mum was the first one who saw Dan walking down the stairs. She gave him a big smile and gestured for him to come closer so she could fix his bowtie. “You look stunning, sweetheart,” she said and, to his horror, he felt himself blushing at the compliment.

He gazed at Phil who was still talking to Clive, and their eyes met. Dan caught Phil’s grin, and the next second, Phil’s attention was on Clive. Dan guessed Phil had to present himself as likable to Dan’s parents.

“So, I see you’ve met Phil,” Dan said as his mother fixed how bowtie.

Dan’s mum smiled tenderly. He missed his mum’s motherly smile. Dan had no doubts that after years of worrying over her son not having any friends, she was over the moon when Dan revealed he had a boyfriend, even though he was a few years older than him.

“I have,” his mum said. “It’s lovely to meet you, Phil,” she said, smiling at Phil. “Come over here Phil so I can take a photo of you two together.”

Dan groaned but moved closer, moving his arm around Phil’s back.

“I won’t hear any complaints from you, young man,” she said sternly, but smiled to indicate that she wasn’t serious. “I deserve to take many photos of you two after you hid the fact that you have a boyfriend.”

Dan’s mum took enough photos of them to fill up a whole album before she finally allowed them to leave and start heading for the dance. He waved goodbye, promising his mum to be back home safely after the dance, even though the both knew he probably wouldn’t be back before lunchtime the next day, and then made their way to Phil’s car.  

Well… more like Maurice’s car. Maurice had felt guilty for almost leaving Dan to burn alive with Phil and he offered to lend Phil the car for the occasion when he came over to apologise to Dan.

A part of Dan wanted to say that lending his car was a small price to pay for almost leaving him to die, but then he remembered what Maurice had told him before he left. “You two are meant to be together. Phil protected you even when he had no idea who you were. I could have never done that. He really loves you.”

Dan thought maybe they could make peace.

Dan just hoped they weren’t stopped by the police on the way to the dance considering Phil had no licence, or birth certificate, or school reports so he could start attending college… nothing really. They were still working on it.

They were lucky that Maurice had once again helped out by getting Phil a job. At least Phil now could afford his own apartment.

Once they arrived at the school, Dan found himself having troubles controlling his giddy smile when he walked down the hall with Phil, holding hands. He could finally show off his dashing boyfriend.

Just as they were passing in front of the back doors, Dan caught sight of a man walking around aimlessly. The greyish tinge to his skin proved he was a ghost. He knew that the responsible thing to do was to help him, but tonight, Dan just wanted to be with Phil at the dance. He swore to himself that he would look for the man to talk the next day.

“Want to dance?” he asked Phil, before leading him to the dance floor.

“We should talk to that man tomorrow, see if we can do anything to help,” Phil said, slowly swaying to the beat.

Dan nodded in agreement before he realised what his boyfriend had just said. “Wait… you can see him? The man walking around near the back door?”

Phil nodded with a chuckle. “I can definitely see him. Why, is that a problem?”

Dan shook his head, dumbfounded. “No, but… that means you can see dead people too.”

“Apparently so.” Phil paused. “That means we can go on supernatural adventures together, helping them cross over to the afterlife. Maybe we can start a business or something,” he joked.

Dan rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. Phil… his Phil, was no longer a ghost. Instead he was just like him. “I hate you.”

“I love you too.”

*

A/N: So there you have it! My fic for the Phandom Big Bang 2017. Like I’ve already said, I’ve been working on this for almost a year and it’s surreal to finally have it posted for everyone to read. With almost 23,000 words, it’s also the longest oneshot I’ve ever written. I hope you enjoyed it and, if you did, make sure to let me know! Like, reblog, send me asks! I reply and appreciate everything. 

Now look forward to the 25 Days of Christmas 2017, starting on December 1st!

[valkerymillenia]

Omg there's so much I want to talk about in TLJ that I don't even know where to start!

And my ships 😏 hehe I see what the authors are doing.

Red herrings everywhere.

Spoilers ahead.

These are random disjointed fangirlish thoughts on the movie that I have to spill out before I can become coherent again. Bare with me.

THE HUMOUR! So good and yet so well nuanced that it complemented the seriousness of the  movie very well.

GENERAL HUGS and SALT GUY need to be memes. I mean, c’mon guys, you know I’m right.

LEIA USING THE FORCE TO SAVE HERSELF, IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE! My gods, she always had so much potential and it’s good to see some of it finally being expressed. They built Leia up so well in this movie, so much development, I love it but now I’m so afraid of what they’ll do for ep IX without Carrie...

Billie Lourd having way more protagonism! The legacy continues.

WOMEN EVERYWHERE!  As many as the men and in equal posts! Thank you, gods! Also, POC everywhere! YES, THANK YOU!

Rose is freaking adorable and well written, the viewers form an instant connection with her through her sister and she has that innocent and wonder that we haven’t had since New Hope’s Luke.

Though Rose describing Canto Bight made me laugh because it was a perfect echo of Obi-Wan describing Mos Isley... In fact when she described it as an ugly horrifying place filled with the most despicable people, all I could think was ‘girl, you’ve clearly never been to Mos Isley’. Though in the end Canto Bight is more civilized but morally worse than Mos Isley so she’s not wrong.

Still wondering was the message Rey asked Chewie to give Finn...

Shipping wise... They're baiting us with Finn x Rose AND Finn x Poe AND Finn x Rey all at once. Interesting to see the guy being the center of a love tangle for a change. Anyway, they are clearly letting the audience chose how to interpret each relationship.

Now, I’m trying to analyze this without shipper goggles (yet) so...

Poe's body language is all over Finn who seems clueless, Poe just acts so differently around Finn compared to others, hell, he even acts possessive of Finn (the way he examines all of ‘naked and leaking’ Finn, and, his face when he meets Rose and slightly places himself between her and Finn- “Who’s this?”).

Rose kisses Finn but he doesn't kiss back, it's not even shock he just looks confused and more concerned with saving her. In sum- Rose's body language is all over Finn, even more explicitly than Poe (because heteronormativity and all) but once again Finn looks absolutely clueless of what others feel towards him.

The only times Finn's body language and attitude go beyond more than friendship and admiration are when it's related to Rey... Though then she’s the one whose body language only denotes platonic feelings.

I see what's happening- the authors are showing all these options as red herrings under our noses, which often happens in the middle of trilogies, all so the fans won't be able to guess what's coming. Hell, I could almost feel an asexual vibe from Finn and the Rose x Finn kiss echoes the red herring Leia x Luke kiss in ep V so much...

Personally I still ship stormpilot (though not averse to Rose and Poe sharing Finn but that will never happen and still prefer stormpilot), even though I openly admit that it's clear they wanted to show obvious Finn x Rey chemistry and some Finn x Rose (albeit more one-sided).

Moving on...

ALL THE FUCKING REYLO! My poor shipper heart was exploding!

Topless Kylo! Flustered “please-cover-up-that-distracting-bod” Rey! LMAO!

I'm so happy that reylo is a cannon thing now. Sure, it's in a tragic ship sort of way instead of openly romantic, but damn, that back to back battle against the praetorian guard... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scarred Kylo! 

Kylo hesitating and refusing to shoot, most likely because Leia was on board the ship...

Rey crying when she touches Kylo and connects to his emotions. 

Official confirmation that Snoke was already manipulating Ben when he was Luke’s apprentice (like what was stated in the novelization of TFA).

Ben turning to the dark because he felt betrayed by Luke (echoing Anakin and the Jedi Council). 

Kylo constantly conflicted and expressing it through anger and obvious emotional vulnerability, even (or even more so) as he becomes “the big baddy”.

Kylo BEGGING to have Rey on his side. And vice-versa.

Kylo killing Snoke, not for power but for Rey, the power was just his ambition and greed bubbling up as Rey denies him.

Pretty sure Kylo will get a redemption arc- I know it doesn't seem like it but the clues are there and I'm a good 90% sure of this, otherwise we'd just have a copy of Anakin's conflict all over again albeit Kylo being more ambiguous and also less determined in about his intentions. Now, if this redemption ends well or not, with love or without it, with grey jedi or otherwise, that is where the mystery lies.

Ok, I admit, Reylo is my otp but objectively in canon I don't know how the ship will end, at this point it can go either way; but imho Kylo will be redeemed somehow. As a writer and someone very much used to deconstructing plots, I can tell that there are enough clues for this, not just in this movie but in the big picture of the whole SW movieverse. 

One thing is for sure- the old dichotomy of jedi and sith as we know it is dead. Luke, Kylo and Yoda give us enough confirmation of this (and admittedly the whole black-white/good-evil extremes thing was getting SO old).

Personally I'm praying with all my might that we get Grey Jedi at last! And that would make both Rey and Kylo’s predictions true- she strays from the light and him from the dark and they meet in a middle term... It would make sense and seems to have been foreshadowed but unfortunately it’s not one of those things I can say I’m certain off. 

Let’s also have in account that the title of the movie is “The Last Jedi” but intended as plural (even here the subtitle was plural) so when Luke says “I will not be the last jedi”, I don’t think he means Rey exclusively.

Kylo was not made for leadership and rule either so I do wonder who will take the reigns of this crumbled government when it’s all said and done.

What else...

POE BEING A HOT-HEADED DAREDEVIL! He had such an aura of competence and poise in TFA but in TLJ we saw so much development, he was so humanized and flawed (but in the best way).

Phasma’s death was... as we say in Portugal “soube-me a pouco”, aka it felt lacking. Don’t get me wrong, it was epic, but they made such a huge deal of her in PR and marketing (especially in TFA) that it feels like she had a bigger role that got edited out in post-production. The fight with Finn was perfect and excellent for his growth but it felt like we needed more on Phasma to make it more meaningful.

HOLDO’S KAMIKAZE MOVE! Goddamn, I had mixed feelings about her through the whole movie but, although I usually dislike the kamikaze martyr trope, at that moment I just adored her. I feel like we could have gotten a bit more personal with her but either way it was tragically perfect.

Luke’s death felt unnecessary. Again, don’t get me wrong- I was afraid I’d hate it but it was a good death, an appropriate and meaningful one; however, it felt anti-climatic and unnecessary in the progression and pacing of the story itself. Perhaps if framed differently... Either way, the only way the manner of his death can be justified to me is if he has an important role (big or small, whatever, but meaningful) as a Force Ghost in ep IX.

Kinda wish we'd have a Luke-Anaking force ghost reunion; the two of them guiding Leia and Rey and even Kylo... But that's just wishful thinking.

The sweet moment between Leia and Luke broke me, I wanted to cry. They deserved so much more time together, hell, WE deserved to see so much more interaction between them as close siblings.

The almost imperceptive glance we get of the Jedi books safely stored in the Falcon! Begging the questions- who and why?

I wanted more Chewie and definitely more Maz! I really, really, REALLY want more Maz as a sassier modern version of Yoda.

Speaking of- loved the Yoda cameo- Mr ‘if you don’t have the balls then I’ll do for you’.

I get a feeling we’ll be seeing DJ again... But, honestly, so many new characters and they COULDN’T BRING BACK LANDO FUCKING CALRISSIAN?!

Please tell me Rey will build her own lightsaber now! And make it a lightsaber pike, it fits her much better than than the Skywalker saber. 

Liked Rey’s parentage reveal, honestly so much better than having her conveniently be the heir of a pre-existing character. Also gives her tragic past much more intensity.

Porgs were cute but screw them, the Vulptex’s were soooooo much better.

I’m conflicted about Snoke’s death... It was brilliant but at the same time it wasn’t as impactful as it could be if his role had been more pronounced in TFA. Still, very good though.

Best of all- HUX BEING TOSSED AROUND LIKE A DOLL. Deflates his ego beautifully. And when Kylo gives the “shoot with all you got” order when Luke pops up and Hux repeats the order word by word but louder to the troops and Kylo just gives him that ‘bitch, I just said that’ face... Priceless.

I loved BB-8 before but now I ADORE HIM! In Poe’s ship trying to fix the circuit board and then just goes “fuck it” and smashes into the whole thing. xD “Finn, wet, leaking” ! And taking out the prison guards! And piloting a damn AT-AT alone to shoot troopers! He’s so fucking smart and resourceful and just as much a daredevil as Poe, not to mention cute AF! 

BB-9E was interesting we didn’t get much more from him than appearance so BB-8 FTW!

Give me BB-8 merch. All the BB-8 merch!  Pillows, plushies, the drone! I’m in love with all things BB-8!

But when it comes to droids, I wanted more from R2, he felt neglected. Though that move of showing the old recording of young Leia’s distress message to push Luke really was genius.

Wondering if the little boy at the end is force sensitive or if he (or other kids) will have any role in the Resistance, there was a lot of foreshadowing there.

OMG the movie was just sooooo good! The spoilers terrified me but it was so good, for a mid-trilogy movie it was just right. Let’s hope IX lives up to it.

Finally, one last question- WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER HANDFUL OF PADAWANS (KNIGHTS OF REN) THAT LEFT WITH BEN??????

I got up and practically saluted when the “in memory of” showed up. It got me in tears.

Ok, end of rambles... for now. 

[yellowsugarwords]

Walking Dead Game - "Sugar Rush"

[ivoryribcage]

Story + 21 for donut bc fuck you u thought this was gonna be cute like blaine's thinK AGAIN SWEETHEART

@deadbeatcentral | Send “Story + #” | ACCEPTING

PROMPT. The first time my muse missed your muse.

TITLE. Stick to Your GunsSETTING. Red VS BlueCHARACTERS. Arthur Driscoll ( @etherealmeliorism), Franklin Donut (@deadbeatcentral​), Rithisak Aydelotte (@ireofembers), Veata Aydelotte (@ivoryribcage)

SUMMARY. She hadn’t belonged there. Neither had he.

It’d frightened her: the realization that she could no longer function in a time of peace. Her reassignment to Blood Gulch had been one of the least violent of her experiences since her unwilling recruitment to the UNSC yet it’d caused her more emotional stress than any other chapter of her service. Veata had hated it there. In the field she could at least anticipate the horrors that waited for her, but more important than that she could perform her duties as a field medic with the understanding that the members of her unit could be trusted. It hadn’t been like that at Blood Gulch. Her CO, she had felt, had been as good as senile, and half the members of the unit she wouldn’t have trusted a pebble to much less a human life. 

The single kindness granted to her had been her brother. It’d been four years since she’d last heard from him though that’d been through no fault of his. Quite often Rithisak had tried to establish her whereabouts as she would later learn, but without a trail of breadcrumbs to guide him he’d been left blind in his search. Not to mention the fact that he’d had to focus on surviving the bloodshed of warfare himself at the time. In parallel to her Blood Gulch had been a transfer. She had to question how much of the decision – one Rithisak had thought related to his disciplinary problems – had been pulled through the CO that had enlisted her. Compensation. Veata didn’t believe in God, but she’d often prayed that her CO would burn for what he’d done to her.

She’d never told her brother the finer details of her enlistment. It hadn’t been as if his knowing the circumstances could change what had been done. But there had been a soldier stationed at Blood Gulch that had learned about her start with the UNSC. If Rithisak had been her kindness then Arthur had been her reprieve. He’d been one of three people that hadn’t treated her as if she were an unfounded, paranoid fool, and of the three he’d treated her fears and her paranoia with the most intimate understanding. Arthur had spent thrice the amount of time that she had in the field. Whereas Rithisak had mastered the callous detachment common to soldiers Arthur reacted in a more serious vein similar to hers. In his presence she had felt she could breathe again.

If it hadn’t been for Arthur she doubted she would have survived Blood Gulch without putting a bullet through her head though their connections had splintered their unit in half. The others hadn’t understood them. Not even empathetic Donut. Their active service had seen them stationed in Blood Gulch, and but for themselves there’d been no threats to their lives. How could these soldiers, outside of Arthur and Rithisak, understand what it did to a person’s psyche to spend a single night in silence after months of constant warfare? The senior members of Red Team had seen a bitch that had been wound too tight, but when she’d looked at them and she’d seen incompetent liabilities that couldn’t be counted on in times of crisis. But not Donut.

Franklin Delano Donut. Of the men stationed at Blood Gulch Donut had been the single individual she’d forgiven for his faults. Unlike Grif and Simmons – men that had had a considerable amount of time to get their collective act together  – he’d been fresh from training and without the experience under his belt he would need to be considered a proper soldier. For as ruthless as her service had made her Veata couldn’t have brought herself to resent him for that. His willingness to shoulder a fair share of their burden as a unit had been the key difference that distinguished him from Sarge, Grif, and Simmons, and the results had been tangible as he managed in a single afternoon more than either of the three men had in months.

Given the time to train under Arthur she didn’t doubt he would have proven to be quite the marine. But part of her hadn’t wanted that for him. Donut had been too gentle a person for the horrors of warfare. It was within his capabilities to be a soldier, but not without cost to his person. Arthur had seen it too. During the earliest months of his assignment to Blood Gulch Donut been a quiet and reserved young man, but as he’d settled into his station his quirks had begun to express themselves: the sharp edge of his sarcastic wit melted into sassier retorts, he began to test the waters of what he was allowed through requesting non-essential supplies such as wine and cheese, his conversations pursued more personal questions with the excitable twittering of a songbird.

The part of herself that had remained human loved him, but the damage had been done and the gentleness that she loved him for she’d understood would cost him his life if permitted to flourish. Grif and Simmons she could not have cared less for, but Donut had stood a fighting chance that Arthur and she wouldn’t have seen wasted. When Blue Team recruited the services of a woman that hadn’t hesitated to detonate a plasma grenade within range of him she’d held his hand through the night as he’d faced his first brush with death. It’d been the inevitable cataclysm Veata had known would come, and her regret had not been for the webbing of scars that left him disfigured but that he’d been made first to suffer.

The memories ebbed from her thoughts as Veata considered the holographic notification: New Message. Likely Arthur or Rithisak checking on her. Donut she suspected had been transferred to a remote location as it’d been three weeks since his last contact. For a brief moment an image of blue eyes flashed through her thoughts before she quickly dismantled the half-formed memories. It’d been two weeks since his last attempt at contact. So long as he hadn’t deviated from his established pattern he wouldn’t send another for at least a month. She dragged her fingers through her thick, knotted hair, her shoulders folding with a slow, deep exhale before she reached for the contraband communications equipment. Within the minute she’d opened the most recent transmission. 

Just as she suspected a message began to read in Arthur’s voice: “Status Update. There’s been no further chatter about what happened at Blood Gulch, but that doesn’t mean we’re in the clear yet. I’m keeping an ear to the ground, and I want everyone else to continue to do the same. I don’t want to be caught off guard again.” Here he sighed, and she could picture in vivid detail how his hand dragging the length of his face. He wouldn’t have shaved in the past week, and there’d be deep set bags underneath his eyes. “Fire Team Dingo is on assignment at a location our network doesn’t reach. They’re excused from check-in for the time being, but I want everyone else to message me theirs before the end of the week. Out.” 

Static replaced the sound of Arthur’s voice for a short moment before the transmission cut into silence. She considered its content as she opened the direct private line that connected hers to his. At least one of her suspicions had been confirmed: Donut, alongside Delbarre and Tucker, had been transferred to a distant, remote location. Fire Team Dingo. “Check-In: Veata Aydelotte. Date: August 30th, 2560. Time: 0200 hours. No changes to report. End Transmission.” She waited until the hologram confirmed the message had been sent before she began to fiddle with the modified TACPAD. Arthur had done it. He’d also overseen the establishment of the channel of networks through which their units communicated with Simmon’s assistance.

If someone were to find the TACPAD she would be reprimanded, and the contraband equipment confiscated. How Arthur had procured such a number that each soldier of Red Team and Blue Team could be in possession of one she hadn’t known, but then there hadn’t been much about him that Veata had known unless he’d wanted her to. She traced the edge of it. Its modifications, she imagined, had cost him twice the amount of effort their acquirement had, but it hadn’t been for naught. After the chain of events that had been triggered by Tex’s presence at Blood Gulch Arthur had wanted their teams to maintain contact after reassignment, and though he’d permitted them to use the TACPADs for more personal reasons she’d only used it for the bare minimum.

On the holographic screen she sorted her unread communications by their individual author. Donut’s name printed at the top of her screen. Of his eighteen transmissions – two per a week interval – ten remained unread, and of the eight she had read only four had been replied to. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to keep in contact with Donut. It was that it was easier not to. She couldn’t distance herself from the memories of Blood Gulch – memories of the A.I. – so long as he anchored her to them. For as much as she cared about him affection couldn’t clean her of the poison that tainted her blood at the memories of her former team. Only just this month she’d reached the point that weeks could pass without a single thought for Blood Gulch.

The others – Grif in particular seeing as he could no longer laze about without supervision – wouldn’t share her sentiment, but she’d considered the transfer from Blood Gulch to Solace a blessing. The finer details of how Red Team and Blue Team had survived the events that had preoccupied their last months stationed there she didn’t understand, but it’d at least been a vindication of her paranoia and solid evidence to the fact that she couldn’t depend on at least half her team. Luck wasn’t her token like it was theirs. She needed half-competent soldiers that were willing to put in the effort, and Red Team despite its addition of Arthur, Donut, and Rithisak hadn’t been that. At least not enough. Solace, on the other hand, had no shortage. 

Despite her convictions there were times that she permitted the compulsion of guilt to influence a regression. She opened the most recent unread message: text rather than voice. It took her a long minute to scan the message, the barest hint of a concerned smile at the corners of her mouth. Despite her near radio silence Donut had not once failed to write her without genuine enthusiasm. Most of the chatter was mundane, and often it’d been scattered with questions of her well-being. He’d learned rather soon after their initial meeting not to push her, but that hadn’t meant he didn’t leave her opportunities to open up. His last message was a more somber detailing of his reassignment, and in his Donut fashion he ended it in apologies to her for his coming lack of contact.

It wouldn’t matter whether or not Veata replied to him. The transmission had been dated three days earlier. By this point in time, and as evidenced by the content of Arthur’s communications, he’d have transferred to his next assignment. Yet the holographic screen reading out his most recent message to her remained open. As if of its own volition her fingers began to tap out the sequence to initiate a voice recorded message. Arthur had not been so skilled as to install a video recording modification that could project a hologram of their image, but she found the words came easier knowing that her face wouldn’t be attached to them. She cleared her throat once before finding her voice. “Donut, be careful out there.”