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loveisanimaginarydagger3000 · 10 months ago

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Good Luck, Babe! (7)- I Told You So

Wanda Maximoff X Reader 18+

Inspired by the song 'Good Luck, Babe!' by Chappell Roan

Summary: Returning to Westview after twelve years away causes you to look back on your secret love affair with Wanda, to remember the intimate moments you shared together before her refusal to accept her true self drove the two of you apart, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart alone.

What happens when you reunite with the woman you've been trying so hard to forget, forced to watch her suffer in an unhappy marriage that was slowly drowning her, still too scared to confront her true feelings?

Chapter 7- 5.5k Words

Good Luck, Babe! Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 6

As you were cleaning up the last of the dishes you had used for dinner, your mind roaming for something interesting to think about after your boring evening alone, the twins who you usually entertained on a Friday evening away at their uncle's house, you snapped back into reality at the sound of voices being raised next door, your brows furrowing as you wiped your hands clean, concerned at the noises coming from Wanda’s house.

The sound of the married couple arguing when the twins were away wasn’t a surprise to you, but the sheer amount of shouting was. Normally, you would hear a few raised words, mostly coming from Vision and the occasional slam of a door but tonight it seemed different, they both seemed to be screaming at one another.

You wanted to go over and make sure things were alright as the argument seemed to grow louder, the voices muffled meaning you couldn’t make out what was being said, but you reluctantly decided against it as it wasn’t your place to intervene, to make sure Wanda was alright. By the sounds of it, she was handling herself alright against him, a loud, hostile shout coming from a female voice before you decided to give them their space, not wanting the temptation to go on over there.

Grabbing Lucky’s lead, you quickly found everything you would need for a long walk with the bundle of fluff before heading out, your gaze trained on the house as you passed it slowly, listening to the continuous shouting, having to fight against every instinct that told you to knock on the front door and interrupt them. You hovered as the shouting suddenly stopped, a sense of panic trickling down your spine unpleasantly before it seemed to erupt again, your feet reluctantly taking step after step until you walked away from the house, trying to get rid of the worry building in the pit of your stomach as you roamed around Westview, taking a trip down memory lane once again to try and clear your mind.

***

Turning the corner to enter the avenue you lived on, your gaze immediately caught sight of auburn hair, Wanda’s despondent form slumped on her doorstep as she sat on the edge of it, her fingers deftly wrapped around a cigarette as she took a long, tired drag, seeming to try and lose herself in something other than the emotions forcibly drowning her. The sight of her stirred something inside you as you grew closer, your features softening but also filling with concern as you felt a prominent pain in your chest at how small and broken she looked, a lump forming in your throat when you caught her empty stare. The mesmerising green that hypnotised you were nowhere to be seen as her gaze lacked life, her inner demons clawing away at her and prying away any hope or happiness she had, your mind tormented at having witnessed her in such a heartbroken state.

“If you’re here to say ‘I told you so’, I don’t want to hear it,” she mumbles defeatedly as she lifts her gaze marginally to see your approaching steps, an onslaught of confusing emotions coursing through her as she somehow manages to feel her heart flutter and clench at the same time at your presence, a familiar ache growing unpleasantly in her chest as she wipes away the tears threatening to fall, not wanting you to see her like this. She didn’t want you to see her so lost and confused, to see how you were right. You had always been right. She couldn’t run away from it forever, no matter how hard she tried to stop the shame eating her alive. It slowly tore her apart everyday, even more noticeably when you had returned to Westview, only adding to the pain and longing she felt since you left that day twelve years ago. Why did you have to come back? Why did you have to rip open her heart again and let over a decade’s worth of anguish and agony seep into her blood, consuming her entirely and overwhelmingly. Why did you have to come back and remind her of how much she loved you- No, she didn’t. She never loved you, she didn’t. She couldn’t. She wasn’t like that, she was normal, she was…

Your mouth opened to reply to her but a deep, frustrated sigh escaped her, her head tilting back, looking up at the night sky as she blinked back the tears that were about to fall, her teeth biting down on her lower lip to stop it trembling as she felt bile rising up in her throat for denying everything once again. Why couldn’t she just say it?

She lowered her head from the canvas of the dark sky to look at you, the raw pain in her eyes taking you back at how overwhelmed by sorrow she was, the look soon fading to disgust and shame as she tried to hold the intimate gaze, unable to stop doubts and insecurities picking at her thoughts whilst your features softened as you attempted to comfort her, unsure of what to do as she gradually composed and collected herself.

Wanda hands pressed against her eyes as she focussed on breathing calmly, her throat tightening as the air managed to push past the lump that had formed there, shaky breaths escaping her as her mind continued to race, your approaching steps seeming to speed some of the thoughts up whilst slowing others, her heart splitting into two, unable to chose how to feel. She was just so tired, so tired of wanting to love someone she shouldn’t, so tired of feeling like she was trapped, the walls of expectations and reality closing in on her everyday and suffocating her, her only escape being something that seemed to inevitably push the walls in faster.

You waited patiently for her to calm down as you stood before her, carefully moving to sit on the doorstep with her, Lucky sitting on the floor by you feet as you managed to comfort part of her without doing anything, the warmth of your body being next to hers allowing something soothing to wrap around her heart that was crying out for help, her hands eventually leaving her eyes to wipe away the stray tears lingering on her cheeks.

“That’s not what I was going to say,” you softly whisper, keeping your voice calm and delicate for her, not wanting her to know the whirlwind of pain coursing through you at knowing she was struggling, your mind filling with memories of that sob you caused to rip its way out of her that day, the tears you caused in her eyes. You hated seeing her hurt, it was the one thing you couldn’t cope with, a familiar sense of dread crawling up your spine, ready to corrupt your mind. “I was going to tell you about someone I once knew,” you start off, a hint of nostalgia lacing your tone as she listens to you, her tangling thoughts soon fading as she focuses on you, on how she wants to lean into your body and feel your comforting touch again, the way your bodies always slotted against each other perfectly, your souls seeming to connect. She longed to feel that spark of electricity flow through her body at a simple touch from you, even just a brush of your shoulders as you sat so close, but she refrained from moving any closer, deciding to stay still and silent as she listened, a small sniffle filling the brief silence that amplified your concern for her.

“She’d always tell me how bad smoking was for me,” you murmur, tentatively moving your fingers to wrap around the cigarette that was hanging between her fingers, slipping it out of her grasp and dropping it to the ground, letting your foot crush it with the heel of your shoe, “How I should stop, how I should be thanking her for ‘saving’ my life because she was. She did save me.��

At your words, Wanda turns her head to look at you in the eyes, memories of the many meetings in the old convenience store car park filling her mind as you watched the nostalgia swirl in her eyes, her mind recalling the sheer excitement that would swarm through her stomach as she took those steps towards your truck, ready to feel free from the world. However, the reminiscent look swiftly faded to anguish, your shoulders slumping at the way her eyes flickered away from you, a visible glossiness coating them as she tried to stop more tears from spilling down her cheeks, the corner of her lips attempting to tug upwards as she whispered to you,

“You owe me a cigarette,” her voice wavered as she attempted to tease you, mimicking the tease you would always offer her after she ended your smoke early, earning a small, gentle smile from you as your tender expression encouraged her to look at you again.

Gazing into her eyes once again only stirred more emotions inside you both, your soft stare somehow seeming to still the storm raging on inside her head and heart, the lingering fog more manageable for her as she reluctantly let herself sink into the comfort you provided, a gnawing thought at the back of her mind desperately trying to convey to her that she didn’t deserve your care, not after the pain she caused you.

“I think you owe me more,” you whisper in a delicate tease, offering her a playful smile in an attempts to ease the pain in her, seeming to succeed as a timid smile graces her lips, her hands coming up to wipe away the stray tear that spilt whilst she kept her green on you, relishing in the safety your presence provided. You lost yourself momentarily in her eyes, both of you subconsciously leaning your bodies closer together as your shoulders brushed briefly, sending a spark through the both of you at the mere touch, an electric warmth flowing through you both as the gaze lingered longer than it should have, each passing second amplifying every emotion you felt.

You wanted to let your fingers graze the soft skin of her cheek, wipe away the other tear that trickled down her skin before cupping her face, letting her sink into your palm that was there to comfort and console her, but you knew it wasn’t right. You couldn’t do that to her, offer her that false sense of hope and safety knowing that it couldn’t happen again, you couldn’t do that to yourself. You couldn’t.

“I told you Wanda, I’m here for you,” you murmur, honesty lacing your words as a hint of pain washes over her face at the conflict coursing through her veins, the care you provided tearing her apart. She didn’t deserve your kindness, she didn't, you should hate her for everything, for the lies, for what she did to you, why couldn’t you just make this easier for her? Instead, you had to give her the one thing she craved, the care and look of love she had yearned for over the last twelve years. “Tell me what’s wrong,” you practically coo, her eyes fluttering shut in defeat as she battles between following her heart or her mind, her lower lip trembling slightly, only furthering your worry.

“I can’t,” she croaks out, reluctantly opening her eyes after she manages the words out, a hint of confusion but also realisation on her face as you watch her battle with her demons once again, that desperate look in her eyes as she begs you to not push it further, to push her to face the truth. “I can’t,” she whispers again, emphasising the pain it would cause her as she looks away from you, needing this conversation to end so she could escape the doubts picking away at her mind. “You should probably go home now, Lucky must be tired,” she tries to excuse, looking at the way the bundle of fluff lays by your feet, his head resting on his paws as he sleeps, the walk tiring him out.

“I’m not leaving you like this,” you say without hesitation, a serious tone seeping into your words as you look at her, noticing the way she avoids your pleading gaze. “You don’t deserve this Wanda,” you murmur, expressing your concern for her as she shakes her head at you, the part of her she despises dismissing your words.

“I’ll be fine,” her watery green meets yours, trying to persuade you to stop caring about her for once in your life, the raw look of guilt and regret swirling in her eyes making your throat tighten as you can imagine the thoughts playing on her mind like a broken record.

“I’m not leaving you, not again,” you murmur out, lowering your head slightly to try and meet her gaze as she looks away from you, hoping that you’d get the hint and walk away from her, letting her drown in misery on her own as she had done since you left.

“Please,” the word fell from her lip in a pleading tone, but even Wanda didn’t truly know what she was begging you to do. She wanted you to leave, to stop bubbling pain, hurt and conflict inside her but she also needed you to stay, to let her try and focus on the brief happiness, love and care you stirred within her, her head tilting to look at you, the lingering look her green gave you telling you what she wanted.

“I’m not leaving,” you whisper, highlighting your honesty behind your words as your gaze turned serious momentarily, needing her to know you weren’t here to hurt her again, despite the avalanche of pain your arrival back in Westview brought her. When she stays quiet, a hesitant look in her eyes, an idea pops into your mind, a nervousness growing on your face as the thought may not be the best idea, but you didn’t care if it meant she wasn’t alone.

“I’m not leaving, not without you. Come…Come with me,” you murmur in an apprehensive voice, her eyes widening a little bit at what you were suggesting before continuing, “We don’t have to do anything, we can sit in silence, or we can talk, or we can watch those sitcoms you love, I don’t care. We’ll do whatever you want just please don’t make me leave you alone like this, I can’t do it again.” At the rawness and regret seeping into your voice, she realised the sheer amount of torment the memory of walking away from her caused you, further confusing her as her features subconsciously softened at the pain in your voice, her mouth parting, unsure of what to say.

It wasn’t going to be a good idea, you both knew that as you longingly looked at each other, waiting for the other to say ‘no’, to not let this situation get any worse but neither of you did, you simply kept looking at each other as though the world around you was fading away, leaving you both to remain locked in the moment. All Wanda knew right there as you stared at her with a look that expressed more than what words could, was that she wanted you. She wanted your safety, your care, your comfort, just you.

***

Relaxing against your sofa, Wanda’s eyes travelled across the décor in your house as you wandered off to find the two of you a drink, trying to figure out what you were like now but failing as her focus soon switched to the bundle of golden fur heading her way, the corner of her lips inevitably tugging up at the dog’s actions. Her heart melted a little at the way Lucky effortlessly hopped up onto the sofa to join the other woman, his body circling a couple times in the spot next to her before dramatically flopping, his head moving to prop itself on her knee, sensing she needed a little comfort. His eyes looked up at her as her fingers naturally moved to pet him, her slender digits trailing up and down his soft locks as he sighed in a satisfied manner, pleased to be given the head scratches whilst a chuckle left her lips at his adorable state.

Her attention remained focussed on him as she let herself slowly relax further against your soft pillows, her fingers mindlessly playing with tufts of fur as her eyes took in some of the photos on your wall, the one of a young Natasha and yourself standing out to her as well as one of you hugging an unfamiliar woman, a sense of curiosity stirring in her as she let her gaze linger on the framed photo.

Oblivious to your return, you paused at the frame of the door with her requested glass of red in your hand to stare at her, a strange sensation consuming you whilst you observed the other woman, a lump forming in your throat. It felt… teasing to look at her like this, the domestic sight of her almost mocking you for how you never got to have her in your life like this, the way she was curled up on your sofa, with your dog, in your house an image that would make you ponder and wish things were different. Why couldn’t things have just worked out?

The thought played on your mind momentarily before you pushed it away, remembering the only reason she was here was to be comforted and not left to suffer on her own, your mind clearing of any selfish thoughts or desires you had as it wasn’t the time. It never seemed to be the right time.

Sitting next to Lucky, a smile found its way to your lips as his tail started to wag, creating a sound similar to a beating drum against the sofa at his excitement to see you, his head remaining on Wanda though as he was far too comfortable to move, your gaze following his to the soft and less despondent look on her face, a small feeling of triumph floating through you at the lack of tears threatening to spill.

“I think he likes you,” you playfully whisper whilst sitting back, turning the tv on quietly to have some background noise as Wanda sipped on her drink, a small smile stretching across her lips, hiding some of the nerves building inside her at being alone with you in private, the alcohol attempting to ease them. Nodding to your words as she was unable to find the courage to reply, a silence seemed to brew between you both as your gazes locked onto the tv screen, mindlessly watching whatever show was on as your fingers stroked Lucky’s back whilst Wanda’s his scratched his scalp, neither one of you wanting to be the first to speak up, leaving you both to your thoughts.

Her mind naturally went to the earlier events of the evening with Vision, her jaw clenching as frustration wrapped tightly around her heart, spreading like wildfire at the words he had shouted, at the words she had shouted. The argument had started by a small remark from the blonde man, purposely irritating his wife about the cleaning and triggering over a decade’s worth of bottled up emotions to force their way out of her as she finally reached her breaking point. She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t live this life with him anymore, she wanted more. Wanda wasn’t a servant or a slave, she wasn’t put into existence to serve him his food, clean and take care of the kids despite everything that was engraved into her. She wanted more, she deserved more. She had dreams and ambitions, she wanted a life she enjoyed, a life where she woke up in the morning and was excited about the day ahead of her and the happiness that would consume her. She wanted a life full of love and excitement, a life with someone else, a life with… It didn’t matter if she wanted it, she couldn’t have it, she couldn’t have you.

Sitting next to you after all this time caused her thoughts to roam about your life as her eyes occasionally flickered over to the photo of the unfamiliar woman, a strange feeling of jealousy building in her as she wanted to know more about you, about your life in England. You had managed to move on, to be happy it seemed, how? It tormented her, the other woman never truly getting over what had happened between you as she threw herself straight into Vision more committedly, deciding to push the issue away rather than confront it like another aspect of her life, part of her wanting to know how to deal with it all as it all seemed to pile up and drown her now. Why couldn’t she move on? She needed to.

After drinking and sitting in silence for a while, the deafening lack of noise started to annoy Wanda, her hand lifted her glass to finish her wine in an attempt to build the courage to ask you a question, her gaze turning to you, inviting you to meet her curious green.

“Can you tell me about England?” She tentatively asks, breaking the quietness that had surrounded the room as you offer her a gentle smile, a wave of happiness growing on your face as you see her guard seeming to lower, becoming more comfortable and less overwhelmed than before.

“It… It was amazing,” you say in a whisper, smiling to yourself as memories over the last decade flood your mind, reminding you of how much you loved the place and the city you were in. “It was beautiful but in its own unique way,” you start off with, struggling to think of a way to describe it, “I loved it, the city of London, the people, just everything. I thought I’d spend the rest of my life there but things don’t always work out ,” the happiness in your voice clearly fades away to the end of your words, only further amplifying the curiosity in the woman next to you as she can’t help but admire your features, her green travelling across your side profile, appreciating your beauty before she realised she was staring, letting her gaze drift to Lucky who hopped off the sofa to leave you two completely alone.

“What happened?” she questioned a little cautiously, your smile dropping momentarily making the woman next to you wish she never asked. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me that,” she mumbled but you just shook your head, deciding there was no point in keeping it a secret.

“No it’s ok,” you softly murmur out, needing to say it out loud and get it off your chest, even if Wanda wasn’t the right person to be sharing it to. You needed to say this for yourself, to acknowledge that it had happened and move on completely from it. “I made the mistake of falling in love again,” your tone is gentle despite the hurt underlying it, Wanda’s attention focussed solely on you as she listens attentively. “Gamora, my best friend,” you say whilst motioning over to the photo of you and the dark haired woman, having caught Wanda staring at it a couple times, “Introduced me to a work friend of hers, Valkyrie. We hit it off instantly, it was um… passionate to start with before we both realised we wanted more. I wanted more with her,” you confess, the memories of tender nights with her, loving caresses and delicate touches filling your mind as a small smile made its way to your lips briefly as you remembered how deeply you loved her. That was always your problem, you loved too much. “Cut to a few years later and we were engaged, I thought I’d finally found the right person to spend the rest of my life with but it turns out she didn’t feel the same.”

Your gaze lowers from the tv to the floor as the haunting image replayed in your mind, a deep, frustrated sigh escaping you as it still angered and hurt you to this day, the knife in your back twisting violently as you try your best to vocalise another painful experience that would torment you forever.

“A couple weeks before the wedding, I came home early from work to surprise her but instead… I caught her in our bed with her maid of honour between her legs,” your voice wavers as you manage to get the words out, a bitterness lacing your tone as you felt the onslaught of frustration and hurt gnaw away at your thoughts, your eyes flickering over to hers momentarily to gauge her reaction.

Wanda’s features softened as she listened to you, knowing that you never deserved that, her heart physically hurting for you as you deserved to be loved right. She knew how caring, compassionate and tender you were, how you remembered the little things about people and made sure they were always alright, you should never have been hurt by Valkyrie or herself. You hadn't done anything wrong, you never had.

“The worst part was, she had the nerve to blame me,” you say in a breathless laugh, slowly exhaling to stop yourself from getting too annoyed, words falling from your lips freely, “She said she only went to Carol because it was clear I was still in love with someone else.” Almost instantly, you realised you shouldn't have said the words to her, a look of confusion swirling in her eyes before the realisation kicked in, a tension building in the room as you looked away in embarrassment and fear, not having wanted to send more racing thoughts through both of your minds.

“Were you?” She asks in a delicate whisper, a familiar ache tightly gripping both of your hearts as you both realise what you could have had, the different lives you could have lived if it had just worked out.

Part of her wants you to say no, begs for you to say no as insecurities pick away at her mind mercilessly, reminding her of how wrong it was to think of you in that way, to think of loving you whilst the other part did everything she was against. She didn’t have it in her to pretend anymore, she was exhausted from pushing it down, of lying to herself, berating herself for wanting something, for wanting someone. Despite how frightening and reluctant she was, she needed to confront herself, there was no use in coming up with another excuse or a stupid reason. She… wanted you, that’s all she ever wanted. She loved you.

All the doubts swarming her head were nothing compared to the yearning she had for you, everything seeming to click into place in her mind as she finally realised you were always worth the risk of loving. You made her feel like she was living, that she was lovable and that there was a reason her heart was beating in her chest, sending warmth through her when she’d stare at you. It was your eyes she wanted to get lost in as she relished in the sound of your laughter filling the room, it was your hair she wanted to play with mindlessly as you relaxed against one another, that inevitable spark going through her at the slightest of touches you’d offer her. It was you she wanted to love.

Catching the various emotions swirling in her hypnotising green, you hold the intimate stare whilst your features soften, pausing before answering as the shared silence expressed more than words could. Your lips parted as you went to answer her honestly, your heart beating wildly in your chest as longing evidently consumed your features, the movement causing her gaze to lower, drifting to your lips and unable to look away as you wet them subconsciously. All the other woman could think about was what it would feel like to kiss you, to kiss you like you were her lover this time, not holding back anything.

When her eyes flicker back up to your stare, all you can think of is the memory of how her lips felt against yours, your mind cruelly imagining the feeling of them crashing to yours now, despite how wrong it would be. If you concentrate hard enough, you could feel the ghost of them brushing yours tenderly, conveying every single ounce of longing the two of you felt into it, a kiss that would heal the wound of your heart or tear it completely into two.

“I think I’ve always been,” you confess, your heartbeat pounding in your ears at the brief silence that envelopes the room, feeling as though it lasted an eternity, time seeming to slow as you both subtly move closer to one another, confusion drowning you. You didn’t know what to do as you watched the gap between the two of you gradually lessen, your head tilting marginally as hers did, welcoming the advances as your lips got closer and closer, your faces mere inches apart as you gaze at her lips, not knowing what to you. You wanted to kiss her, you’d been wanting to for the last decade, but you couldn’t do it all over again if it meant getting your heart shattered once more, you wouldn’t be able to survive the heartache again.

Letting your eyes flutter shut, a small sigh escaped you as you paused, trying to stall as your mind raced, trying its hardest to make a decision on whether it was worth the risk, whether the broken bond could ever truly be fixed.

“We shouldn’t,” you croak out as you feel her lips ghost yours, the warmth of her body intoxicating, the feeling of her breath tickling your face almost nostalgic as memories of the many kisses you had shared filtered through your mind, every stolen kiss trying to ignite the fire in your heart.

“I know,” she whispered out, your faces so close you can feel her lips move as she murmurs to you, her words laced with conflict as she struggles to decide along with you, logic failing to win her over. She was married, she had a family and a life she couldn’t just throw away like it was nothing, despite not enjoying it, she had to be responsible as she wasn’t a young naïve girl anymore. The reason and sense gnawing away at her was soon drowned out by her emotions, Wanda deciding it was time she did something for herself for once, “But I’ve missed you.”

Her words stirred something deep inside you, a tenderness settling within you before it was dampened out by the fear seeping out of your chest as you couldn’t do this again. Not like this. You couldn’t survive the agony that would rip through you if she changed her mind or avoided the truth again, you were too broken to handle the knife being pulled out of your heart, to feel that brief moment of relief for it to just be thrusted in deeper, leaving an even bigger scar behind to remember her by. You were too scared to take the risk.

“I can’t,” the words are torn out of you as your hand moves to cup her cheek, your contrasting actions only adding to the hurt and rejection flooding through her, breaking the dam that was holding back her emotions as a tear falls from her eyes, further adding to your anguish. “I’m sorry but I can’t, not like this, not again,” you mumble out, meeting her broken gaze in a distraught manner, the warmth of your delicate touch burning into her skin as it was all too much for her, her lips trembling at the avalanche crashing down on her.

She wanted to scream, to cry and let everything out but all she could manage was a choked sob, a familiar tightening in her chest and lump forming in her throat making it impossible for her to do anything other than look at you with an expressive look of pain as the walls of despair closed in forcibly on her.

It tore a gaping hole in you to witness her fall apart in front of you, took everything out of you to not let tears pour down your cheeks as she sobbed because of you once again, your body moving without care as your hand cradled the back of her head, encouraging her to collapse against your body in an embrace you both needed. Whispered apologies fell from your lips in an attempt to sooth the guilt ripping through you for hurting her, to fill the room with something other than her muffled cries as she gripped onto your shirt, unable to stop the barrage of tears spilling from her green at the way fear, rejection and heartache festered deep inside her, your caring actions not going unmissed but dampened out by the overwhelming amount of agony filling her.

The two of you remained in the embrace of lost lovers until your cries eventually quietened, a despondent realisation clouding both of your minds at the fact the melody of your love seemed to forever be out of tune, your souls moulded for one another but just always seeming to meet at the wrong time, never quite aligning.

---

Did I mention that this fic involves angst?😅

Sorry if this feels rushed/is all over the place, I've been really struggling with writing at the minute and this is the best I could do without throwing my laptop out of the window.

Updates may take longer now as I managed to get a job and I'm returning to college next week, so apologies in advance! Also, I think we're nearly at the end of this fic but it depends on if I change my plan as I do that a lot :)

I hope you enjoyed!

Please leave any thoughts/comments/votes! They are greatly appreciated <3

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