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chan-gbinsimp · 1 year

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swinging | kakashi hatake x male reader

A new member of Konoha opened up an art shop in the village. Coincidentally, he managed to open Kakashi's heart up to parts of himself that he didn't know existed at the same time.

requested

word count: 6.4k (damn!)

reblogs and comments are always appreciated:)

a/n: it has been a while, hasn't it? I'd say I normally don't take this long for fics, but it turns out my writing speed and the flow of my creative juices has decreased substantially since the last time I did it consistently. the length of this one doesn't help either (I got really carried away><). either way, I hope it was worth the wait! and I'll be trying to get out the rest of the requests at a faster rate, now that I have a little more time on my hands.

another little note for the story! "geijutsuka-sama" is essentially "mr. artist!" or at least that what I hope it is. finally, enjoy!

It’s no secret that Kakashi had a reputation as a loner around Konoha.

As much as the man was highly revered by many, he was an enigma, and most people simply gave up on trying to understand him. He was powerful, he was reliable (when he needed to be), and he was a loner. Simple as that.

It’s due to this simple fact, however, that whispers were shared between the old ladies in the village over tea, students during break time, and shinobi during quiet moments on missions. The whispers started from a handful of observant people, and multiplied as time went on, blanketing the entire village in the sound like cicadas do trees on a warm summer’s night.

It wasn’t easy to decipher the original meaning of the whispers, as each stream of sound differed in word choice and subtle meaning. Some claimed of a passionate night between two lovers, while others did of a newly blossomed friendship.

Funnily enough, the truth behind the whispers was rather simple.

It was that Kakashi was fucked.

Utterly, irrevocably fucked.

The man himself realized this one night as he laid in bed, reviewing the events of the day. That night was a particularly mind blowing one, as it was the one in which he realized that he had a crush on you.

________

It all started when you opened your shop.

Kakashi had gotten back from a fairly simple mission, and decided to go on a walk for no particular reason. Guy had decided to do the same, and the two ended up walking together. The walk coincidentally happened on the same night that you were finishing up the preparations to open your art shop. You’d cleaned up the fresh canvas you called a rusty hut, and painted it until it was filled with artworks on display and ready to be sold. On the counters there were paintings, pottery, wood carvings, jewelry, and even some of your own writings.

Guy, being the social Mothra that he is, heard of the new development and wanted to check it out asap. Unluckily for Kakashi, who was rather antisocial in comparison to his walking partner, he was dragged along to see the shop.

It was late evening, when most street vendors and shops had closed, and bars began taking their place. The streets were silent, except for a handful of drunken men, and illuminated only by a few lamps and the brightness of the full moon. The air was crisp with cold, which Kakashi would’ve been appreciating, had he been allowed to enjoy it alone.

Yet there he was, approaching a small hut that was rather secluded, and would’ve hardly been visible had the street been as busy as it was during midday. It was a clearly old building, with the wood of the supports splintering and roof having the appearance of one that wouldn’t survive a single stormy night, but it was cleaned up nicely. The wood was newly painted, windows replaced, plants draped over the walls in a way that made it seem like the building was growing them. The main shop seemed to be inside the hut, but there was a section outside with tables that displayed a few of the artworks.

Kakashi just about finished taking in the building, when Guy’s voice snapped him out of his haze.

“Hello there! How are you this fine evening, sir?” He exclaimed in a tone that was far too energetic for such a dark and quiet night. Luckily, you didn’t seem to mind.

Kakashi watched as you came out from behind the hut, wearing an apron and disheveled. Strands of your hair stuck out in various directions, some of it clumped together by what appeared to be paint and clay, and your hands and clothes were covered in dust and various art supplies. You said something back to Guy, but Kakashi hardly noticed because he was too busy looking at your face.

He’s… smiling. He’s smiling?

As much as he loved the man, Kakashi couldn’t handle Guy’s eccentricity at times. You, however, seemed overjoyed to be greeted by a stranger in the middle of the night. In fact, it was like your face glowed in the moonlight, and your hair was illuminated by the lamp near your head. Like a halo, he thought absentmindedly.

He didn’t notice you were talking to him, until Guy lightly jabbed his side.

He blinked.

“Oh, you’re talking to me.” He didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t heard what you’d said, what you and Guy were talking about, and what the appropriate response was. More than anything, he was a bit embarrassed at being caught looking at you so intently. Luckily, you said something for him.

“I know I’m not half bad, but I don’t look that good covered in all this dirt, do I?”

Maybe unluckily, actually.

Kakashi felt his face heat up more than it did when he read the most erotic of the Icha-Icha novels, and his brain short-circuited just a bit.

“Ah– that’s uh… My apologies for staring. I didn’t mean anything by it— not to say that you’re unattractive in any way, of course! You’re a very attractive man! I just wasn’t staring with any particular intention, is all.” Kakashi chose to stop before he said anything more embarrassing, if that were even possible.

Guy was staring at him with an incredulous expression that would’ve made Kakashi tease him, had it not been directed at his foolishness. The same couldn’t be said for you.

“I get it! Guess I shouldn’t have assumed you swung that way, yeah?” You chuckled halfheartedly, looking substantially less happy than prior to when Kakashi spoke. He internally berated himself, but your words couldn’t help but make him think.

Yeah, I don’t swing that way. Do I swing that way? I guess I haven’t really thought about it. I’ve never really thought about it for women either, but I just knew. Surely, if I were attracted to men too, I would’ve noticed by now as well. Then again, how can I know for sure?

Getting caught up in his thoughts, Kakashi forgot to respond, and you opted for a change in topic.

“Anyways, I think I’m done setting up! If you gentlemen don’t mind, could we continue this conversation tomorrow? I’d like to sleep early before opening day” you suggested more than said, clearly not wanting to come across as rude, but neither Guy nor Kakashi minded much.

“Well, of course! I’m sure you’ll be overwhelmed with customers tomorrow! In fact, I’ll guarantee it by being your personal walking advertisement!” Guy made sure to end with an exaggerated wink, although Kakashi was sure his words were nothing but.

The rest of the interaction was a blur, and before Kakashi knew it, he was sitting on his favorite tree, basking in the glow of the full moon, and contemplating the burning question in the back of his mind. Although many women had made advances, which he rejected more often than not, never had a man. You were the first to imply anything beyond friendship, and the copy nin wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it. The only thing he was sure of was that his face felt a little bit hotter each time that scene played back in his mind.

________

Kakashi was exhausted.

It wasn’t a difficult mission by any means. At least, not in comparison to the ones Kakashi’s been on in the past, but it left him uncharacteristically worn down as he dragged himself through the village gates. It was already late enough for the sky to be glittering with stars, and for the typically hot air to have simmered down to a refreshing breeze. Kakashi took in a deep breath of the cooling air.

He was contemplating what to make for dinner, if anything, when he heard a soft humming coming from somewhere. Under it was the soft sound of a knife slicing through wood. Kakashi recognized it immediately.

Now, at this point, Kakashi had gotten substantially closer to you over the months you’d been a shop owner in Konoha. The aforementioned whispers were a result of the sudden development of him having a new friend, after all.

The issue with this development, however, was that Kakashi wasn’t quite sure what to do with you.

How long had you sat there, carving away?

He got closer to the now familiar hut and watched as you sat on a log disguised as a chair in front of the store next to a growing pile of wood shavings. You hunched over a palm sized piece of wood in one hand with a knife in the other, bottom lip caught between your teeth in concentration. The light from the lamp next to you was flickering, evidently having been lit for quite some time.

Better question, how long had Kakashi stood there, leaning on a lamppost and watching you?

By the time the copy nin realized he was developing a dazed grin, you’d finally looked up from your artwork and noticed him.

“Kakashi-san! Back from your mission, I see” you smiled and invited him over with a wave, scooting over on your log in case he wanted to sit.

He accepted the invitation and sat on the now empty space, desperately trying to ignore the way his face flushed when his knees and shoulders brushed against yours. Gods, what were you doing to him?

You sat in silence for a moment, Kakashi content with watching you whittle away, and you being content with sitting in his company. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to lean his head against your shoulder.

“Is that a dog?” Kakashi finally spoke up once you’d gotten far enough along in your project for it to have taken refined form.

“It is!” You replied, turning your head to look at the shinobi. You noticed him gazing at the little dog, and held it out closer to him.

“You can hold it, if you’d like.”

Kakashi felt himself tense, albeit accidentally.

“You trust me with it?” He reached out for carving as he spoke, but in a way that felt as though he were holding himself back.

“Of course! We’re friends, aren’t we?”

When the comment did nothing to bring his hand closer, you took his hand into yours and rotated it so his palm faced skyward and placed the figure in his hand. If your touch lingered for a moment more than necessary, nobody commented on it. Kakashi simply couldn’t — not with the way the touch felt like a shock of electricity running up his arm and through his body.

“I.. guess we are'' the shinobi mumbled out the response, and he couldn’t explain why the title made his heart clench unpleasantly. Later, he would know that the inexplicable feeling was one of longing, but for now he directed his focus towards the piece of wood in his hands. He ran his fingers over the grooves you made to mimic the dog’s fur, finding it to be surprisingly smooth, and marveled at the craftsmanship.

“I could teach you if you wanted, y’know.”

Kakashi merely hummed in the way a question mark in a comic book would sound, encouraging you to continue.

“It’s just– I’ve caught you watching me work a couple times. I thought you might be interested in learning s’all” you shrugged.

Kakashi was stunned. He wasn't used to the idea of his hands being used for creation, no. His hands were meant to destroy. To steal. To kill. They brought destruction and pain and death and nothing good came out of his hands. They were stained with blood that would never wash out.

You watched as his hands stilled on the piece of wood and he stared at his hands, as though he were recalling a memory. The air around you suddenly felt slightly charged, making you feel like you shouldn’t break the spell in fear that the electricity would explode somehow. It was silent save for the sound of crickets, but even they died down to fit the mood.

Kakashi broke the silence soon enough.

"I couldn't. I'm… not a very crafty person, you see.” He looked up from his hands and made eye contact with you, but it was as though he were looking somewhere else. Somewhere far away, either in space or time.

Even so, you weren’t one to give up.

"You don't need to be talented to create. Nobody's good at something at the first try.”

That seemed to bring Kakashi back to the present, and he blinked the fog away from his visible eye. He turned his attention back to the little carving, seemingly thinking about your words. You gave him time to think, which Kakashi was eternally grateful for.

Of course, he’d love to learn from you. He admired your artworks and the passion you put into your crafts endlessly. Watching you work and seeing the process of an ugly lump of wood becoming a gorgeous carving, a blank canvas becoming a breathtaking painting, or a lump of clay becoming an intricate piece of pottery, had undoubtedly become one of his few pastimes. To learn how to do the same — to be there next to you, just like now, talking to you, and spending more quality time with you — sounded like a dream.

But he couldn’t quite shake off the hesitation at allowing himself to indulge in such pleasures. The idea of getting closer to you, as incredible as it was, scared the shinobi. Besides that, trying to imagine himself doing something with a knife besides stabbing and slicing and covering it and himself with blood — it scared him.

You seemed to notice his internal conflict, and tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. It was such a soft touch Kakashi nearly didn’t notice it in his daze, but it grounded him more than he would've liked to admit.

“You don’t have to decide anything now, Kakashi-san. Take all the time you need. I’ll be right here by your side, for as long as you accept me to be.”

You smiled at him when he looked up to meet your eyes again, and Kakashi felt the familiar tug in his heart again.

For the first time, Kakashi didn’t ignore the feeling. Even as you gifted him the little dog and he thanked you endlessly for it, even as he walked through the cold streets of Konoha on his way home, and even as he laid alone in the cold bed, covered in cold sheets, did he allow himself to be enveloped in the warmth of the feeling that you elicited deep inside of him.

And it was that night that he laid in bed, holding the little wooden dog to his chest, that he allowed himself to think. He thought about how your mere presence was enough to make the exhaustion from the day a thousand times more bearable, and what implications it carried for his relationship with you. Or, his desired relationship with you. Would he have felt the same had it been anyone else? His friends? Acquaintances? Students? Does he want to feel the same with anyone else?

What if, when you handed the carving to him, you didn’t pull your hand away? What if, while he was watching you work, he acted on his impulses and did lay his head on your shoulder? What if, instead of you calling him “Kakashi-san” you called him the pet names he read so often in his novels? Baby? Darling? Sweetheart? My love?

The result was Kakashi nearly melting into his bed with how heated his face became, and ultimately being forced to concede.

I have a crush on him. I have real, romantic feelings for him. I want to hold his hand and hug him and maybe even kiss him a little. I want him to put down the honorifics and call me stupid nicknames like baby or sweetheart. Holy shit.

It was safe to say he got little sleep that night, but the sleep he did get differed from the ones that led to rude awakenings covered in cold sweat. For the first time, his dreams were filled with soft touches and smiles and so much affection that left him wanting more in the morning.

________

Nearly a year had passed since Kakashi realized his feelings for you, and he hadn’t made much progress. He did manage to get you to drop the honorifics, so he’s been upgraded to “Kakashi” status, but that was about it. Not that he’s complaining, of course. How could he possibly complain about his relationship with you when you let him into your personal friend circle?

Is what he would have said had it not been for Iruka Umino.

Now, he had nothing against the teacher. He was good at his job — great, even — and Kakashi could even say he had a positive opinion of the man due to how much he looked out for Naruto during his childhood.

That was before he noticed your closeness with him.

Kakashi didn’t get jealous often. He liked to think he was a master at keeping a level head and observing all relationships and situations with an objective eye (pun intended), but it appears that his ability to do so took a quick trip out the window when it came to you.

He’d make time out of his week to spend time with you, whether it was after a mission, lesson, training, or getting groceries, and it quickly became one of his favorite times of the week. Unfortunately, there were moments when said times went sour.

He noticed you started getting closer to the teacher after he stopped by your shop one day, and more often than not, you were talking to him while working on something. It wasn’t a bother the first few times, but it became a problem when you said you couldn’t talk or have a drink because you were busy. With Iruka. At your shop. On the log that Kakashi was supposed to be sitting on.

Today was one of those days. Having successfully convinced Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke to train without him, he had the day free, and wanted to spend it with you. He hopped over to your shop over rooftops, but stopped on the building across from yours when he noticed you were with Iruka again.

Rather than jumping in and trying to make small talk with you, as he usually does, he watched how the two of you interacted from behind a copy of Icha-Icha. Iruka was sitting next to you on a separate log — something Kakashi appreciated much more than he would’ve liked to admit — while you were busy at work creating a pile of wood shavings at your feet. You would stop once in a while to show him what you were working on, and continue when the teacher nodded in what appeared to be approval. The copy nin frowned when he made your shoulder brushed after he made you laugh, and you playfully hit his shoulder.

Then, the atmosphere changed. Became more charged. Your body deflated and your wrists went limp, letting go of the wood and knife, and Iruka took your hands into his. He shifted his position until he was able to meet your eyes, and even from a distance was Kakashi able to make out the furrow in your brow. Kakashi watched with a careful eye as Iruka leaned in, and you leaned in, and your hands stayed connected, and something was surely about to happen, when—

“Kakashi-sensei! What’re you looking at?”

His vision was filled with a blur of orange, pink, and dark blue, and suddenly Kakashi knew how it felt when Naruto tried so desperately to get a glimpse of his face.

“Wha– hey! I thought you guys were training!”

The three stood in front of him, and the entire group had shared knowing looks painted on their faces. Even Sasuke replaced his typical brooding expression with a slightly smug one.

“Why were you looking at geijutsuka-sama like that? Hm? Hmm? Hmmmmm??” Naruto dragged out the hum while wiggling his eyebrows until Sakura rolled her eyes and hit him to stop.

“We know you like him, Kakashi-sensei” Sakura had her hands on her hips, looking extremely proud of her deduction.

“What are you guys on about? I don’t like anyone.”

“Liars get stitches, sensei!”

“It’s ‘snitches get stitches,’ idiot.”

“Potato, potahto, either way he’s totally lying! You totally like geijutsuka-sama, we all know it!”

“That’s right! Why won’t you just admit it?”

“I’m not admitting anything because there’s nothing to admit. I don’t have romantic feelings for anyone.”

Naruto and Sakura stilled. They then shared a look that consisted of waggling eyebrows and eyerolls, and ended in mutual stoic expressions.

“I guess that’s a shame, then” Sakura began, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, ‘cause we all know that he likes you a ton too!” Naruto picked up, crossing his arms also.

“Even you could figure it out, it’s so obvious” Sasuke finished with an eye roll.

Kakashi blinked.

He what? No, that couldn’t be. He’s clearly already in a relationship with Iruka. I can’t believe them, they’re just kids. Don’t get your hopes up. You’re just friends.

“He does?”

Hopeful. Undoubtedly, he sounded hopeful.

The moment the words escaped his lips, he regretted it. Naruto’s grin morphed into the largest smile he’d ever smiled, Sakura’s smugness seemed to only intensify, and Sasuke’s additional eye roll told Kakashi everything he needed to know.

Gods, they know.

Kakashi pocketed Icha-Icha and sighed. He could feel his face go hot.

“Fine. I do… have feelings. For him.”

The effect was immediate.

“Then you should confess! Let’s do it now! He’s right over there, and he’s about to close his shop too, it’s the perfect time!” Sakura tugged on Kakashi’s hand and pointed at you, who was still with Iruka.

You weren’t holding hands with him anymore, and you were smiling. A stark contrast to the gloomy atmosphere from the last time he saw you. You were using sandpaper now, indicating that your project was coming to an end. Iruka said something. You laughed. You shone.

Kakashi’s heart retracted into itself.

“Calm down and look at them.”

It was as though his voice were a kunai slicing through the air. The students went silent and opted for listening, turning to take in the sight of you with their old teacher.

“They’re clearly in a relationship. I couldn’t, also shouldn’t, intrude on it with my own feelings.”

There was a moment of silence, rare for the group, until–

“You really are blind.”

Sasuke’s voice pierced through the silence, making Kakashi’s visible brow lift.

“Isn’t taking in your surroundings one of the most basic things a ninja should do? Look at what he’s making. It’s Pakkun. Something related to you, sensei. What could it be if not a gift for you?” Sasuke turned to face Kakashi, rolling his eyes once more.

“Stop jumping to conclusions and ask him directly. I’m getting tired of you pining after him and these idiots making me care about it.” He nods his head towards Naruto and Sakura, both of whom looked ready to push a mountain in protest.

“Are we done here? I’d like to do something valuable with my time.”

Another moment of silence. The back and forth between speaking and thinking was akin to the blinking of fireflies in the night, or the on and off buzzing of cicadas, but the entire group could sense that it was over.

A nod was all it took. The group left Kakashi alone to go god knows where (likely to spy on Kakashi during his attempt to confess), and Kakashi willed his heart to stop attempting to escape the jail cell of his ribcage.

He took a moment to observe you once more. The shop was evidently closed now, with the only light being a lamp sitting on the table next to where you stood. You were sweeping up leftover wood shavings from earlier, humming along to something only Kakashi could hear if he strained his ears. Your movements were fluid — graceful, even, with muscles moving in a way that only could with years of practice with this particular action.

He couldn’t help but think you were beautiful.

He took a deep breath, steeled his will once more, and jumped down from the rooftop.

“Evening.”

With that simple greeting, you ceased your humming and looked up from the shavings on the ground. Your lips were turned up in a smile, and Kakashi felt a blossom of warmth bloom in his chest at the sight.

“Kakashi! I thought you weren’t coming by today.” You set the broom against the front door and stepped closer to the shinobi. Kakashi opted for leaning against one of the wooden supports next to him.

“I wanted to come earlier, but I didn’t want to disturb you and your boyfriend.” He lifted his eyebrow and watched for your reaction. Your eyebrows furrowed and your head tilted.

Confusion! That’s good… right?

“I’m not sure who you’re referring to, but I don’t have a partner.”

“Not even Iruka?”

It was your turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Iruka-san? Why would you bring him up?”

It was Kakashi’s turn to be utterly flabbergasted.

“You don’t see it?”

You simply shook your head in response.

“He’s been here nearly every day for weeks, and you always seem brighter when you’re around him. You’re always smiling and laughing at — what does he say that makes you so happy, anyway? Not only that, but I’ve seen you holding hands with him multiple times!”

“Are those all the requirements of being a couple?”

“Sorry?”

“Spending time together nearly every day, smiling and laughing together, holding hands — are those the requirements of being a couple?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say requirements, but they’re very romantic things to do. Most people who do them are probably together, aren’t they?”

“I guess that means we’re only one step away from probably being a couple, then?”

At that, Kakashi choked on air. Not his most graceful moment, but he believed his reaction was justified. As he settled down from his coughing fit, you seemed entirely unphased at the implication of your words, simply standing in front of him with your arms crossed and a slight smirk on your face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, I’m glad you asked, Kakashi! Let’s think for a moment, shall we?” You took a few sweeping steps to get even closer to him. You stepped closer and closer until Kakashi had nowhere to go between the wooden pillar and your body. His back straightened.

“Who else, besides Iruka-san, comes by the shop nearly every day?” You lighty jabbed a finger at Kakashi’s chest with a soft thud. The impact felt equivalent to a fly landing on his arm with all the protection his vest provided, but the heat that spread from the point of impact outwards was equivalent to the eruption of a volcano.

“And who else, besides Iruka-san, do I laugh and smile with every time I’m near him?” You jabbed him once more, sending another shot of lava through the ninja’s veins.

“W-well, that’s different! I mean—”

“Who else, Kakashi?”

With your finger putting pressure on his chest, and the heat under his skin creating pressure on his brain, Kakashi was helpless to the truth, toppling out of his lips like a wingless bird attempting to take flight.

“Me.”

Similarly to the volcano that erupted under his skin, the grin on your face was instantaneous, and made Kakashi a little more immune to the chill of the night air. Then, you huffed and pulled away from the puddle of blush disguised as the copy nin, turning away.

“With your logic, the only thing we’d need to do to date is hold hands.” You made your way over to the table where the lamp sat, still facing away from Kakashi. He thanked every god in every religion that you weren’t looking at him. It gave him a moment of respite, so he could become his calm and collected self once more (ignoring the fact that he hadn’t been calm nor collected near you in months).

“Anyways, I have a present for you!”

Lo and behold, Sasuke was right.

When you’d turned, your arm was outstretched, and in it was a wood carving of Pakkun that just covered the surface of your palm. He looked as grumpy as he did in real life, just without the disapproving grunts. It was, frankly, adorable.

“You made this for me?” He tentatively reached out for the carving, unsure if he was allowed to touch it or not. When you nodded and encouraged him to accept it with a nudge of your hand, he finally allowed himself to accept it.

It was smooth and soft, likely a result of the sandpapering he saw earlier, and the grooves meant to imitate the look of fur were dull enough to eliminate any risk of being hurt. The time he introduced you to Pakkun and the other ninken made a lot more sense as he took in the detailing on the clothes and his facial expression. You’d had a sketchbook and pencil out the entire time, although you paid equal attention to it and the dogs. You must’ve sketched them out and used it as reference for the carving.

That was months ago.

“Have you been planning this since you first met the ninken?” Kakashi finally looked up from the little piece of wood at you. You, who now sat on the table, leaning back onto your arms, looking proud of yourself.

“No, actually,” your voice floated in the air, as though you didn’t want to break the fragile glass that was the atmosphere. “The sketches I did then were just because I wanted to draw them. The idea to carve Pakkun came from Iruka-san about a month ago.” At that, Kakashi’s eyes widened.

“Iruka?”

You nodded and chuckled, enjoying the confusion on Kakashi’s face.

“I heard about your birthday from Guy. I wanted to give you something, but also wanted to surprise you, and Iruka-san offered to help,” you explained with a cheshire grin.

“I didn’t realize you’d get so jealous.”

“I was not—!”

“I can see right through that skin-tight mask of yours, Kakashi, you’re so obviously jealous!”

“That—”

Kakashi sighed in defeat. After his accusation from earlier, he couldn’t possibly hide his true emotions for longer. He returned his gaze to the little wooden figure in his hands, running a thumb over each and every groove. Funnily enough, it was him that felt like a puppy at the moment. One that was denied a walk, or his favorite treat.

This confession was not going in the direction he planned.

Apparently, his disappointment was far more evident in his expression than he’d thought. You hopped down from the table and stepped in front of Kakashi, lightly placing a hand on the side of his face and lifting it. Your grin took on the form of a soft smile, and there was something in your eyes that made Kakashi feel safe. You were safe. To him, you were like the lamp on the table — a light in the darkness, repelling the cold with your comforting warmth.

How could he possibly confess in a way that would put these feelings to justice? How could he possibly handle the rejection?

“Could you… sit down, for a sec? I want to tell you something.”

You looked confused, but complied anyway. You sat on the table and Kakashi brought the log closer to the table to sit in front of you. The height difference made it so Kakashi’s face was level with your chin — perfect for avoiding eye contact in case this went badly.

Kakashi took one last moment of silence to gather himself. To lasso all the furiously flying thoughts and nerves in his body into a functional state, just for a few minutes. You waited patiently, although the silence did nothing to soothe the nerves now beginning to bubble under your skin.

“Do you remember what you said to me the first time we met?” He looked up to make eye contact with you, a new determination set in his iris. Goosebumps formed on your arms at the intensity.

“I… flirted with you, if I remember correctly.” You hummed in thought and looked away for a moment. “I noticed you looking at me, so I thought flirting was the right move,” you looked back at Kakashi, trying to fight the slight embarrassment at the memory.

“It wasn’t, because you don’t swing that way.”

Kakashi coughed, the sound echoing awkwardly in the silent night.

“You’re right. I don’t swing that way.” Kakashi fidgeted with the Pakkun carving slightly, already getting used to its presence. He would remember your friendship by it, if you decided to end it after hearing his confession. Strangely, the thought comforted him. It also made his eyes feel like they were being assaulted by a thousand microscopic kunai.

“At least, that’s what I thought at the time.”

Your eyes widened. Deciding it was best to get it over with before you came to your own conclusions, Kakashi pressed on.

“I did a lot of thinking since then, and I’ve come to a lot of realizations about myself — about my sexuality. I couldn’t exactly do much exploring when I was young, considering my life story—” he chuckled humorlessly “—but now, I can. I did, and it’s all thanks to you.”

“Me?”

Kakashi nodded, laughing an empty laugh once more, “yes, you.”

“And I know that you won’t feel the same, but—”

It was as though someone were shoving a wad of paper filled with harsh words up his throat. He swallowed thickly to get rid of it, but it only served to embed it deeper into the walls of his throat. He instead tried a deep breath, but that only blew away the dam that held back a stream of tears. He let them fall.

“What I’m trying to say is, I like you. Romantically.”

Kakashi couldn’t handle keeping eye contact with you any longer. He ducked his head down and watched the ground, watching the packed dirt turn dark with tears. What would’ve normally been absorbed quickly stayed on the surface of the dirt for quite some time — likely due to the cold, dark atmosphere.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but was cut off by the feeling of your hand on the side of his face. It only sat there for a moment, as though giving Kakashi a moment to adjust to the feeling, before it applied slight pressure to bring his face back to its original position. The ninja could’ve easily resisted, but he felt it in every fiber of his being. He could never resist you.

When your gazes connected once more, Kakashi was shocked to find that you were smiling. A soft smile — similar to the one you had earlier before the beginning of his confession. A smile of comfort and of understanding. A smile that never failed to envelop the ninja in a blanket of safety.

You ran your thumb under his eye, wiping a few loose tears away. Even after his cheek was clean of tears, you continued the movement. A silent message. I’m here. You’re safe.

Kakashi waited for you to make your move.

You moved your hand down to his shoulder, running it down his arm with a feather-light touch. Kakashi naturally brought his arm up to allow you to continue the movement without needing to bend down. You stopped your hand at his wrist — right before it reached his free hand. He couldn’t help the tug on the corners of his lips.

You spoke.

“This is your fifth time here this week, and it’s only Tuesday.”

You ran your thumb against the inside of his wrist. It tickled slightly, but Kakashi didn’t mind.

“We never fail to make each other smile and laugh — even though our sense of humor is horrible.”

As though on cue, Kakashi snorted softly. It was true. The two of you had an entire library full of inside jokes and bad puns that would make all fathers blanch in horror.

“The only thing we’re missing is…”

You slid your hand down a few more inches, finally landing on Kakashi’s gloved palm. You curled your fingers in between his, and he did the same. Your fingers were cold — likely a result of having worked with your hands outside so late at night — but Kakashi didn’t mind the chill. The heat of the interaction was more than enough to make up for it.

“There. We’re officially probably a couple.” You finished with a wider smile than when you began.

Kakashi was at a loss for words. The tears started building up again, but they were different. This time, the paper was covered in good words — words of happiness, contentment, safety, love. This time, the stream flowed freely, because there was no need for the dam.

“Care to make it officially definitely a couple?”

With the wad of paper still stuck in his throat, all Kakashi could do was nod and lean up in an attempt to close the gap between your faces. You giggled, but pulled away at the last second.

“Words, Kashi. I need words.”

With another deep breath, Kakashi rid himself of the cursed paper and cleared his throat just enough to speak once more.

“Yes. I want to officially, definitely, 100% be a couple.” Both of you shared a laugh in the middle of his sentence. Another inside joke to add to the library.

“Good. So do I.”

And with that, finally, finally, did you lean down to meet Kakashi where he left off. His mask was in the way, but neither Kakashi nor you could find it in yourselves to care.

The kiss was chaste — hardly more than an extended peck — but it made both streams of tears turn into rivers. Kakashi wrapped his free arm around your waist and pulled you closer into a half hug, tightening his grip around your hand with it. When you gripped his hand tighter in response, he felt it — the everlasting swinging of his heart becoming in sync with yours. And it was at this point that he knew he would never let it swing in another direction ever again.

#kakashi hatake x male reader #kakashi hatake #naruto x male reader #kakashi hatake fic #kakashi hatake fanfiction #kakashi hatake fluff #fluff #x male reader

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public-trans-it-deactivated20240 · 1 year

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i would love to hear your dark spore rant. i didnt even know spore had a sequel.

Oh anon. Poor sweet anon. I’m so sorry.

So, the thing about Darkspore is…

… it was a really REALLY… mediocre game.

Like, the moment to moment gameplay was… fine. Just fine. Not incredible. But not BAD! Really, it only had two major flaws:

The first, it was buggy as hell. One particularly nasty bug was present in the games launcher, and on certain systems the game would fail to install at all. They were unable to ever fix this bug, which I speculate was a major reason the game was abandoned by the devs so quickly and lead to it being taken down from every major digital distribution site. You could still install and play it if you already bought it though! If… it actually installed for you.

Which leads us to the second flaw. It’s right there on the box.

“Internet connection required”

The game has Always Online DRM. All the levels, enemies, loot, your entire account, was all stored server side. And servers are expensive. So, when the games bugs became unwieldy and not worth fixing, and they took it offline… it became a money sink. It was a game generating ZERO revenue, but had huge server maintenance costs. So eventually, they just shut down the servers.

It is now very difficult to obtain the game, requiring you to buy one of the few unopened physical copies remaining. And even once you do have it, it is IMPOSSIBLE to play. There is a project called Resurrection Capsule in the works, some fans trying to create a private server for it. But with so much info stored server side, they basically have to recreate entire subsystems from scratch. It’s… not going very fast, and to my knowledge hasn’t been touched in over a year.

Story

The story of the game is pretty basic. A progenitor race of alien super-scientists create a new, synthetic form of DNA, called Exponential-DNA, or E-DNA. This rapidly mutates to create new life, and can be guided to create specific, specialized organisms, condensing thousands of years of evolution to a few hours. It can also be injected into existing creatures to alter them and make them more powerful. However it also linked everything affected by it into a hivemind. So it was outlawed. The creator of it decided to respond by creating a E-DNA virus, called The Darkspore, infecting himself with it, and spreading it across the galaxy and conquering it, wiping out his own race.

You play as another member of that race, who has been in hibernation for 1000 years while that was going down. Your ship AI has woken you up because it has managed to stabilize E-DNA and also keep it disconnected from the hivemind, and needs you to go kill the guy who took over the galaxy. That is how the game starts.

…

And how the story ends. There is not really any more story past that part. You get a cutscene describing each of the games 6 planets the first time you visit it, and a final “Hey you won!” cutscene after killing the final boss which ends with the cliche “implication the villain isn’t really dead” trope, and… that’s it. That’s the entire story. Not really the selling point of this game. Its not even entirely clear if it takes place in the same universe as Spore! It’s just set dressing for “Run through these 24 levels and beat everything up”

Gameplay

Darkspore was created by Maxis. This alone was HUGE. This was a team of developers who only really made lifesims like The Sims and Sim City, taking a stab at making a diablolike game.

And I GENUINELY BELIEVE every single studio out there needs to do shit like this. Designing for something so outside your wheelhouse creates SOOOOO much innovation so quickly. You get fresh new ideas injected into the genre so quickly. The final product won’t be good! You don’t have any damn experience in the genre! But it will create something unique beautiful, and god damn I wish we lived in a world where that alone was enough and devs weren’t focused on chasing profits instead.

Genesis

Genesis is just a fancy way of saying ‘Element’. There are 5 of them: Plasma (fire and lightning), Bio (plants and animals), Cyber (machines), Necro (death and fear), and Quantum (space and time) and the way they interact is… certainly a choice I guess. Each Darkspore you face has a genesis it falls into, and each of your heroes has one as well. If your Genesis matches that of the darkspore you are fighting at the moment, you take double damage and they take half damage. If they don’t match, all damage both ways is neutral.

The system itself is kinda mediocre. The biggest part of it, however, is the Variant Skills. Each Genesis has 4 unique skills tied to it that represent the common elements of that type.

Heroes

There are 25 heroes in the game, which each have one Genesis and one Class (Sentinel which are the tanks, Ravagers which are the DPS, and Tempest which are the Casters/Support)

Each hero has 4 total variants, with the first one you unlock being Alpha, and as you level up your account (heroes do not have their own levels) you eventually can purchase their Beta, Gamma, and Delta variants, with each variant having slightly different stats, and a different one of their Genesis’ 4 variant abilities.

Each hero has a unique basic attack, which USUALLY has a little extra to it. For example Sage shoots a bolt that hurts enemies it hits, but heals allies it hits. Zrin alternates between two different punches, one of which has a short duration DoT and the other of which has a 10% stun chance. Stuff like that.

They also have a passive effect that is always active while you are playing them. Collect a soul from each enemy killed for a 5% damage boost, 10% damage bonus when attacking from behind, a stacking defense buff every time you take damage, stuff like that.

Finally, a character has 2 unique abilities. One that is unique to them and can only be used while you are playing that hero, and a second ability that is everyone in the squad can use if that hero is present.

Squad Decks

Which brings me to the first rant and something I am SO AUTISTIC ABOUT (positive). SQUADS. The game had you craft Squad Decks, collections of 3 heroes that you can swap between during your missions, for a total of 883.2k squad combinations (I think my math might be off on that). Swapping between them is on a cooldown of about 10 seconds, but otherwise is don’t instantaneously and as often as you want without penalty. You always have 5 abilities active:

- The unique ability of your active hero

- The Genesis ability of your active heroes variant

- Hero 1’s Squad ability

- Hero 2’s Squad ability

- Hero 3’s squad ability

The first two abilities change out every time you swap heroes, but the last 3 are fixed. So you have 3 abilities that you always have access to, and 6 abilities that are paired up and you can swap between which pair of those abilities is active.

Your heroes do NOT share a health/energy pool, but DO share healing pickups. Any time you pick up a health or energy restoration pickup, it refills a chunk of the respective health pool of your currently active hero, and a smaller chunk of each of your inactive heroes in the squad.

So the core loop of moment to moment gameplay becomes swapping situationally between heroes both offensively and defensively, to get access to your other heroes skills and also to mitigate damage from enemies based on their genesis or control where your healing is directed.

Loot

Loot in Darkspore is fairly standard for your average Diablolike. Item drops have 4 tiers: Common (Item Level=Account Level-5), Uncommon (Item Level=Account Level), Rarified (Item Level=Account Level+5), and Purified (Item Level=Account Level+10)

Items of higher tiers have more chances to roll on a table to gain beneficial modifiers.

Each item fell into one of a few different categories: Weapon, Hands, Feet, Offensive, Defensive, or Utility.

Each hero has one of each slot, plus an additional slot based on their class. Ravagers have an extra Offense slot, Sentinels have an extra Defense slot, and Tempests have an extra Utility slot. Any hero can equip any item you gain, with the exception of Weapons that are hero specific. Some heroes also lack Hands or Feet, in which case their weapon has extra stats and can get the same modifiers as hands and feet can.

The items you equip can then be added onto the Hero in the Hero Editor. The Hero Editor is often equated to the Creature Editor in Spore, which is BULLSHIT and was a pet peeve of mine the ENTIRE DAMN TIME THE FAME WAS LIVE. This is a FALSE EQUIVALENCE. It uses the outfit editor from the Tribal/Civilization phases of Spore instead. Importantly: this means you cannot alter the overall silhouette of your hero. It will always maintain the same basic profile and animations. However you can freely place the extra parts you equip anywhere on its body, and can also place multiple copies of them.

Additionally, old parts can have their stats stripped, converting them into ‘Detail’ parts with no stats, of which you can equip 6 different parts, each of which you can include 10 copies of on your hero. So you could get some pretty cool looks from it!

However all this loot is garbage and you likely would not use most of it outside of appearance. Which brings me to…

Cash-out Loot

Usually if you mention the word ‘cash’ in any sentence involving a game published by EA, it would be a call for concern. Luckily this isn’t that! It’s just gambling! Everything is fine!

The main progression in Darkspore comes from gear, and the best gear comes from how good your ships engines are. These come from account upgrades as you level up your account, determining how many levels you can do in a row. Every time you complete a level, you are given an option: Keep going, or ‘cash out’ and get a guaranteed piece of Uncommon gear, with a 10% chance of it becoming Rarified, as well as all the gear you picked up in the level.

If you choose to keep going, you have to complete the next level. If you die, you lose ALL the gear you picked up, including that guaranteed piece. If you make it to the end, you are given another choice: Risk it all again and go on to the next level, or stop here and get your TWO pieces of guaranteed uncommon loot, which each now have a 20% chance of becoming rarified and a 5% chance of becoming purified.

You can only go another of levels equal to the number of Engine Upgrades you have earned by leveling up your account. So at first, after the second level you HAVE to cash out. As you progress you can start to do many more levels at a time, getting a dozen pieces of gear that are practically guaranteed to be the highest rank.

But of course you have to play these levels in order, and you don’t get a chance to upgrade your character with all the cool new loot you found on the way, so you can’t just jump straight into this. You have to slowly build up to being able to push yourself this much, and once you can, you have a readily available source of some of the best gear in the game.

And that ties into my absolute favorite system of Darkspore:

Catalysts

Many diablolikes have a mechanic called ‘Sockets’. The gear you equip has its own type of equipment slot, and you put gems in there that give you small bonuses. Every game does it a little differently, but it’s kind of a staple of the series.

Darkspore uses a similar system, but utilizes it VERY differently. While you are running levels, enemies will rarely drop Catalysts instead of loot. These come in 5 colors: Purple (boosts your base stats), Red (boosts offensive secondary stats like damage or attack speed), Blue (boosts defensive secondary stats like health regen or damage resistance), Green (boosts utility secondary stats like movement speed or lifesteal), and Rainbow (can contain any of the bonuses of the previous categories) They also come in two sizes: Big and Small. This determines how big the bonus from them is.

You have a 3x3 grid on your HUD that the catalysts you collect go into. You can rearrange them however you want, and if you create a line of 3 of the same color (Rainbow is a wildcard and matches with all of them), it will double the bonus of all Catalysts in that line. This stacks, meaning if you create multiple lines over a single catalyst it could get a x3, x4, or even x5 bonus if it’s the center piece of the grid and forms a line in every direction.

However, you can’t save Catalysts. You can equip it to the grid or drop it on the ground and move on. That’s it. You have to decide now. Do you keep that Big Purple you have for the big buff to your most important stat, or do you trade it for that Small Rainbow for a mediocre stat you just found that you can plug in the middle and double everything else in your grid?

“Surely that only matters early game, and once you have good catalysts you don’t swap them out that much, right?” I hear the diablolike veterans asking, because that is how socketing works in most of those games. And normally you would be right. Except for one major change: All your catalysts only last until the end of your run. When you get to the cash out screen, and choose to keep going? You keep them. But if you choose to cash out, or if you ever die, your catalysts all vanish. Every new run you have to go through and collect them again, which results in you playing your heroes in new ways and adopting new strategies based on what catalysts drop for you each run.

It’s an INCREDIBLE easy to learn system that adds SO MUCH depth and replayability to the game. I love it so incredibly much. Each mechanic flows elegantly into the the next. The catalysts help you do better runs which gets you better gear which upgrades your heroes which lets you do better runs, the entire spiral being locked into your account level to give a quantifiable metric of how far this spiral is gone. It was so good!

And now, it’s gone forever.

Man that sure was a long post. Friends have heard me go on this rant SO many times. Thank god I never got into a second mediocre game filled with novel innovations that are ultimately lost to time and can never be experienced again due to Always Online DRM making it unplayable. Can you imagine if I didn’t learn my lesson and did that a second time? Ha!

… I never did that again. Right?

… right?

…

HEX: Shards of Fate

Hex was a digital TCG legal battle with TCG elements created by Cryptozoic. It was originally put up on Kickstarter, advertised as a digital card game with both PvE and PvP modes, a unique focus on the design space opened up by being a digital game, and gameplay damn near identical to Magic: The Gathering.

The thinly veiled truth was that this game was never meant to succeed. They had hoped it would, and it would be great if it did, but I’m fairly certain that was always a secondary objective. The first objective was to get sued by Wizards of the Coast over the similarities to Magic: The Gathering.

Now, that might sound strange to an outsider, but to anyone in the industry, they are probably nodding along and going “Yeah that tracks actually.”

You see, Wizards of the Coast is… bad. Really bad. They do everything in their power to choke the life out of the industry and have resorted to a lot of questionable tactics to do so. One of these is against anyone who develops any form of trading card game. You see, WotC has a patent on booster packs, customizable decks of cards, and turning cards sideways.

Literally.

U.S. Patent No 5,662,332 (A)

It is not a coincidence that the second two biggest names in TCGs don’t involve turning your cards sideways. Konami contested that Yugioh was different enough to not violate the patent.

WotC responded by suing them. They settled out of court.

Nintendo actually hired WotC to design the Pokémon TCG to NOT violate the patent in return for WotC getting to distribute the first few sets. WotC gladly accepted, distributed the game, got their cut of the sales, and as soon as that was over….

WotC responded by suing them. They settled out of court.

Every single other game out there ended up paying royalties to WotC. Because the cut of the sales to WotC was cheaper than going to court even if you won. WotC had their fingers in every pie, but was smart enough to make sure not to piss people off so much that refusal was ever a viable option.

Cryptozoic was a company that, at the time, was making several licensed TCGs. The big one that jumps out was the World of Warcraft TCG, which they were in charge of (though it was originally made by Upper Deck). Cryptozoic was begrudgingly paying royalties because having the WoWTCG license was too good and they didn’t want to give that up. Then Hearthstone happened and Cryptozoic was going to lose the WoWTCG license as it got discontinued.

So Cryptozoic set up their new game, Hex, specifically to bait WotC into suing them, so they could get the patent overturned.

See, the patent isn’t actually valid. You cannot patent a game mechanic. There are certainly aspects of the patent that ARE valid and CAN be enforced, but the parts about mechanics can’t actually be enforced. WotC uses it because people can’t contest it, but if it actually was used in court it would get overturned VERY easily, and WotC would be declawed.

So Cryptozoic created a game that was a clone of MtG, used a Kickstarter to build up a large amount of legal funds, and got sued by WotC! Yes! Exactly what they wanted!

… and then they settled out of court.

Sigh.

I guess I’ll talk about the game now.

Lore

The lore of the game was solid. Pretty typical fantasy setting. Humans and elves and sort of racist orcs (better than most other orcs I’ve seen at least) and extremely racist tribal coyote people make up the good guys. Undead, spider-orcs, dwarves, and also pretty racist samurai rabbit people make up the bad guys.

There are two types of magic in the world: Blood magic and Wild magic. Elves are adept at wild magic. Shin’hare (the rabbit people) are adept at wild magic as well. The Shin’hare tried to take over the world, forcing the Orcs, Humans, Elves, and Cyotle to ally together to drive them underground into the underworld.

There the Shin’hare met and allied with the Vennen, an all male race descended from Orcs. They were adept blood mages, and they procreated by kidnapping orcs and using them as incubators for spiders. I fucking love the Vennen. I’ll focus on them a lot in this. The Vennen taught the Shin’hare how to sacrifice their young for more power.

The two then allied with the Dwarves, a genderless race of sentient stone statues who excel at creating machinery, and who believe the world itself is a giant machine. Specifically, a weapon of mass destruction, and they are trying to set it off. They believe blowing people the fuck up to be their natural calling.

The underworld and overworld forces go back and forth a bit, with the Elves doing a large chunk of the work as the only overworld race that can use magic.

Then Hex happened. Hex is a massive meteor made up of Diamond, Emerald, and Sapphire. Hex punched clean through the world, scattering gems all across it, before stabilizing in orbit on the other side, becoming the worlds moon.

These gems were incredibly magical, allowing every race to now use magic. Diamonds were restorative, bringing life to things. Rubies were extremely destructive and burned bright and hot and quickly. Sapphire allowed finesse manipulation and control over water. These

Yes this is just the MtG color pie.

Eventually, humanity stumbled into one of their old crypts that was very close to the impact site of Hex, and found it CRAWLING with undead. They were taking the Diamonds from Hex and putting them into the eye sockets of human corpses, causing those corpses to reanimate. These were NOT actually undead, but an alien consciousness that existed within the gems that were using human corpses as a host.

The Necrotic sought a peaceful and symbiotic relationship with humanity as thanks for the use of the bodies. Humanity responded by getting really pissed off that the Necrotic were grave robbing, and went to war over it. Eventually the Necrotic retreated deep into the underworld and allied with the other races instead, eventually helping the Shin’hare with a second attack on the surface.

The lore has a lot more depth than that, but that’s the basic. I liked it a lot. The Orcs being good guys who just really liked tests of strength was a refreshing take on orcs. I liked them a lot. The extremely racist caricature that made up the Cyotle and the Shin’hare? Less so.

Digital Design Space

As for the actual gameplay… it was MtG. Like, almost 1:1.

Like…

Seriously.

Shards work similarly to Lands, with there being 5 basic shards, Diamond, Sapphire, Ruby, Wild, and Blood. You can only play one Shard per turn and when you do you get 1/1 Resource. 1 resource to spend on this turn, and 1 permanent resource. You spend that resource to play a card that costs 1, and you go down to 0/1 resources. Start of your turn, you would go back up to 1/1 resource.

Pretty straight forward stuff. Resources are a card type like in MtG, but once it’s played it acts as a perpetual resource like the Mana in Hearthstone, with no need to care about where the resource is coming from.

… wait a second though, this is a MtG clone. It uses the color pie. Caring where those resources come from is KIND OF a big deal in MtG.

Which is the first really cool difference between Hex and MtG! THRESHOLD! Each time you play a shard you gain 1 threshold in that color. To play a card, you have to have at least as many threshold as are displayed below its cost. See that purple dot below Murder? That means you need 1 blood threshold to play it.

Threshold is NOT consumed when you play a card, which DRASTICALLY alters deckbuilding and how feasible multi-color decks are.

For example, in MtG, if you had 4 swamps and 1 mountain in play, and 5 cards in hand that all cost R…. You can play 1 whole card this turn.

In Hex, if you have 4 Blood and 1 Ruby, and have 5 cards that all cost 1 and have a single Ruby threshold, you can play your entire hand that turn. This made it incredibly viable to splash colors in relatively smaller amounts. It also opened up cool new design space, like cards that cost 1 but still required 3 threshold in a color. Or cards that require 1 threshold of every type to activate a bonus effect (very common among Necrotic) or… for sockets!

HEY WE ARE COMING FULL CIRCLE!

Remember how I mentioned Diablolike games having sockets, but how Darkspore didn’t use it? Well Hex DOES. There was a pair of keywords called Socketable Major and Socketable Minor. Each set, there would be 10 gems (two of each color) that rotated out for Socketable cards. Cards with Major sockets could equip any gem, while minor sockets could only equip half of them. So for example the current rotation might have the Sapphire gems be “While you have at least 1 Sapphire Threshold, this card has Flying” for its Minor gem, and “When you play this card, if you have at least 3 Sapphire Threshold, target player draws 3 cards”

You chose which gem was in each Socketable card during deckbuilding. Different copies of the same card could have different gems equipped, or you could have the same gem equipped across multiple different cards. It was basically a way to go “This card was designed to be splashed in other color decks. You pick what that other color is.”

It opened up a lot of design space! This was something Hex did VERY well. They knew they were making a MtG clone, but they weren’t beholden to the same restrictions a physical card game did, and they THRIVED in those areas.

For example, REPLICATORS GAMBIT, a one cost card that creates six copies of a troop (read: creature) that just… could not exist in MtG.

Another example of this was in my favorite archetype in Hex: Mill. Now, I’m not normally a blue player. I’m not a big fan of the ‘you don’t get to play the game’ archetype. Even mill isn’t really my thing. But the way it worked in HexTCG? God I loved it. I wish I could see my opponents faces as they reached a trembling hand out to their bloated, grotesque deck, a cruel mockery of what it once was. They had started the match with only 60 cards, but now it held twice that number. Knowing every draw was more likely to bring their own skittering death out.

…

Maybe I should back up a bit.

Vennen are, in MtG terms, tribal Blue/Black with a focus on control. Specifically an aggressive form of control. Your wincon is still ‘beat your opponent to death’, but the means by which you do it is… spiders.

Lots of Vennen cards work by still allowing your opponent to do the thing that you blocked, but it now creates Spider Eggs in their deck. Lock down a creature as it enters play with ‘Everytime this creature becomes tapped, shuffle 3 spider eggs into your deck’ or ‘Whenever an opponent draws a third card this turn add a spider egg to their deck’ or ‘When this creature is destroyed add a spider egg to your opponent’s deck’ and when they DRAW a spider egg… well… the effect of a spider egg is more or less ‘When this card enters your hand or graveyard, draw/discard another card into that zone and destroy this one. Your opponent creates a Spiderling and puts it in play. “

Spiderlings are 1/1 Unblockable creatures.

The Vennen win con is to just fill your opponent with spiders and then shred them apart once the spiders start hatching. It was a DELIGHTFUL playstyle.

PvE

Hex also features a fairly robust PvE mode with a point crawl encounter map that was quite delightful. There were cards unique to PvE, but all PvP cards were also legal in PvE. In general, all your staples came from PvP and were the same core staples everyone uses to win (they were very generous with handing out common/uncommon PvP cards in the single player mode, which in turn also made Pauper a very popular format), however you also had PvE cards which made up your win cons. PvE cards weren’t balanced as tightly, and allowed to just be dumb overpowered bullshit just because it’s fun to use dumb overpowered bullshit sometimes!

There were also equipment slots that would modify the cards in your deck, turning PvP cards into PvE cards. For example, Replicators Gambit made it so that EVERY copy of that card gained that text.

PvE started with character creation. You would create a character that was one of the 8 races, and one of 6 3 different classes. Warrior, Cleric, or Ranger. I think there was a late update that added Mage but I don’t recall too clearly, and it isn’t document online anymore as far as I can tell!

Each class had a unique talent tree that you could customize and change how you played. Your race determined what colors you could play, and your level determined how many of each rarity you could play.

I played a Vennen Cleric. Cleric’s whole thing was that you would gain Blessings, 0 cost cards that would rise in your deck each turn, and could be played to draw a card as well as additional effects based on your build. My blessings put more eggs in the enemy deck, to the surprise of no one.

As you went from encounter to encounter you would earn new cards to modify your deck, swapping decks between fights. Then there were dungeons, long laborious streaks of a dozen or so encounters, with branching paths and decisions to be made, earning you tons of new packs and equipment and experience to boost your character. One especially fun encounter was crossing a desert with a pack of… I think it was gnomes? There were 20 of them that needed rescuing. The way you rescued them was putting them in your deck, and then leaving the desert through a single combat encounter. Except they were AWFUL. Like 3 cost vanilla 1/1’s level of awful. The more you had in your deck, the harder the encounter became. It was a really nice way to portray the logistical challenge of trying to fight while protecting all these useless tagalongs.

There were plans to even introduce Raids, 3v1 PvE encounters, but they fizzled out as the game got sunset.

The game was good. REALLY good. It relished in the digital design space in a way I haven’t quite seen since then. A few games, like Legends of Runeterra, have come close, but always fall short, and that’s so sad! I DESPERATELY want to play a TCG with this level of customization again!

Luckily that was the end of it. I finally learned the error of my ways, never touched anything ‘always online’ again, and now can live a life without regrets! … except Legends of Runeterra a little bit like I mentioned above but THATS IT! There are no other always online games I have regrets about!

…

ToonTown Online

Okay no, not seriously. I’ve never played toontown. But honestly it looked kinda silly and like a shitpost in video game form. I think it would have been fun to try at some point with a few friends. Not seriously, just to screw around in for a bit.

Never going to get that chance. Just like nearly everyone reading this will never get to play two of my biggest influences that shaped how I think about game design.

Always Online DRM is an insidious beast. It doesn’t just kill games, it kills *archival*. All we have left of these games is a relatively small number of gameplay videos. I was planning on having a lot more pictures in this post of all the interface elements I was talking about as I talked about them, but there just… aren’t any good pictures of them. Even these details are based on my own memory cross referenced with a couple of wikis, and even those were sparse.

Some games can’t feasibly avoid Always Online. MMO’s are a big example. But by adding it into a game that has a single player experience involved, and not making that single player experience a standalone thing on its own, you are destroying any hope that your game will be remembered. It will fade into obscurity. There will never be a cult revival. Your work will be discarded and forgotten and it’s… so incredibly sad to see.

I jokingly titled this section being about ToonTown, but really this section is about Kingdom Hearts: Union X. It was a mediocre and disgustingly predatory gacha. It was horribly managed with horrible issues around localization and it was just… a mess. But it was part of the world of Kingdom Hearts, and it’s story was important and mattered.

The game is no longer playable, but it’s also not entirely lost. The devs created a new version of it, as a gallery to view the cutscenes. The single-player side mode, Dark Road, is also included. The devs didn’t have to do this. They could have gone the same route as Darkspore and HexTCG, and had their work be forgotten. They chose to save it. Not in full, but at least the parts the deemed important.

It also makes me wonder how much this happens in other mediums. Ludology is a pretty new field, and it rarely goes into specific games and their impact on the medium, mostly just focusing on the impacts they have on humanity, rather than the mechanics themselves as these beautiful pieces of art. And it makes me wonder how often this happens with say… film critics. Are there any indie film makers who are deep in the paint of indie films and critique of not just the films themselves, but the very techniques being used, just sitting there going “It’s so upsetting that this big studio managed to do something this beautiful and all of us in the scene recognize it’s beauty, but no one else seems to, and now it’s gone?”

… as I’m writing this I actually realize that this does happen there. It’s how I found out about what became my favorite film of all time, The Man From Earth. It’s a small film that flopped horribly in theaters, and only gained any attention by being pirated by a lot by indies who wanted to talk about it. It’s a good movie, highly recommend. Not for everyone though.

I don’t know. I’m sure I had a point with all this but… seeing it happen again and again and now with streaming services taking stuff down it’s just… I can’t help but seeing not just more and more games, but more and more of EVERY artistic medium ending up in this area. How many digital artists entire portfolios have vanished off the face of the earth because their tumblr got deactivated? How many movies are going to be gone forever when Netflix eventually goes out of business? We can’t even rely on piracy! Many old pieces of media is just lost forever. Just ask the Doctor Who fandom. They probably know more about that than anyone else at this point.

But mostly I just really wish more developers would consider what parts of their games are important, and what kind of legacy they want to leave, instead of just what will generate a short burst of profit, with no care for what happens after.

… I should start doing video essays with how long this got. It’s like some kind of text based video essay. A text essay. Those are a new thing I just invented.

#Darkspore #Spore #Those are the only two tags on this post because those are the only games I talk about don’t worry about it. it’s fine. don’t read further.#HexTCG #Hex: Shards of Fate #Kingdom Hearts: Union X #Always Online DRM #The Man From Earth #I swear to god if anyone tells me I should just play Temo on LoR I will scream #YES I KNOW AND I DO #but also LoR sucks #and also that is missing THE ENTIRE POINT OF THIS RANT #the SAME THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO LEGENDS OF RUNETERRA #maybe not soon #but it WILL die someday #and be gone forever #because it isn’t being preserved #Text Essay

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bonefall · 9 months

Note

Thank you for removing the romance between Gray Wing and Turtle Tail, I personally never really liked that ship. Not sure why, but I like them better as friends.

I ALSO like them better as friends, but to be totally fair, I also just don't like Gray Wing lmaoooooo

He's awful in-canon. He's everything terrible about how the writers portray "nice guys" and ALL of his romances were trash. All FOUR of them.

He's totally oblivious to how Bright Stream is being pressured into leaving the mountain, because he's thirsting about how lucky his brother is to have such a beautiful woman as a mate. Then he gets her killed by tripping like a teenager in a horror movie during Eagle Quicktime Event 44 and mopes about it, until they decide her death was Nobody's Fault :)

Storm is really not that into him, she's pretty obviously just friendly and polite, but he spends all his time with her anyway neglecting all of his other friendships. Until Storm has a Hotel Transylvania ass ZING moment looking into Clear Sky's Baby Blue Eyes and falls in true love. Gray Wing doesn't notice this, of course, and gets dumped. Then when she runs off while pregnant later he just lets her, so that he can have a casual chit-chat with his brother over some guy's dead corpse.

He was treating Turtle Tail like ABSOLUTE shit the entire time he was courting Storm, screaming at her about having the wrong friends, not giving her the time of day, and when Storm dumps him he goes crawling back to her only to find out she's moving in with Bumble.

And then later he sneers about a fat woman trying to escape domestic abuse, this is a series for kids where he's framed as the good guy

and he gets to have a Wowowowow Sooo Cooool moment SAVING TURTLE TAIL FROM TOM THE WIFEBEATER, because it's as if the ONLY reason poor fucking Turtle Tail exists as a character is to serve HIS arc. Before she gets turned into a pancake by a car so he can be sad about it

And then, after THREE women have already died in various awful ways so that Gray Wing can feel bad, Slate fades into existence like a powerpoint slide halfway through the series. Now he can finally have his own children, who don't drop him the minute they find out he's not their biodad

Where was Slate before? We don't know! We killed off so many women that we had to beam in new ones. Just replace them. They're basically all interchangeable and Gray Wing was such a good boy, he "deserves" a reward.

So, for my AU... GOD no. Not happening. None of these relationships were worth salvaging, imo. Gray Wing dies in the first book like GOD INTENDED.

#bone babble #your honor. i hate him #also in BB xeir pronouns are xey/xem because BLASTED with the third gender beam. trinyary gender system my beloved #DOTC hate #Btw you can filter my DOTC hate by adding that to your tag filters #I had an influx and I'm sorry everyone new <3 I am the notorious hater <3

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valle-de-sombra-de-muerte · 14 days

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Homestuck Reread: Act 4, Part 3/4 (p. 1669-1864)

Read the previous post here.

The second half of Act 4 starts here. And oh fuck no, it's the introduction of Hussie's self-insert.

Yes, it is a terrible idea. This whole bit should've died right here.

Hussie proceeds to recap the entire first year of Homestuck which really is just a big waste of time to read. If you're really lost about what's going on, you should just read all my reread posts up to this point instead! Which... actually isn't ideal because I'm not really writing a comprehensive plot summary here. This series of posts is mostly aimed toward people who are already familiar with Homestuck and have read it before. If you tried showing these to someone who has never read the comic before, they'll likely be confused. Err, fuck it, let's move on!

John is rightfully reluctant to listen to Terezi again. He typically shows resistance to commands only when they might put him in life-threatening danger. And since he finally decides to believe Dave's warnings, this counts as one of those situations.

I forgot to mention this in the last post, but Davesprite and Terezi's conversation was the first time "jegus" is used. Some people seem to think that this is the name of a troll analogue to Jesus, but really it's an in-joke between Dave and Terezi that gradually disseminates through their respective friend groups.

John's adversity shatters and he decides to start listening to Terezi again. It really didn't take much for her to convince him to do this. This is hardly portraying Terezi as some kind of "master manipulator." It's just another instance of John being a gullible moron.

Also, this will be the last conversation between John and Terezi until Act 6. Her conversations with the humans will be exclusively limited to Dave until that point. I guess she wasn't so serious about being John's "pal" after all.

Bro what do you mean you decide to name him? That's Rose's cat. You can't go into someone's house and rename their pets.

I do like that Davesprite immediately points out how dumb it was that John decided to listen to Terezi again.

John is such a massive fucking cunt. He's really going to disrespect the guy who saved his life like that? Even apart from that, that's his best friend, or at least supposedly.

Davesprite's reaction is entirely justified here. He's supplying John with useful info, only to be met with disinterested responses and being told to fuck off in favor of the other Dave. I really think "ok" is John's catchphrase, even moreso than Aradia's. Pretty much every time someone tries to talk to him about the game is met with him going "oh ok" or "wow ok" like some kind of spongehead.

This conversation is notable because Dave's entire persona is centered on being detached, aloof, and "cool" but here Davesprite sounds genuinely pissed. He doesn't even care about maintaining the facade because his "best friend" just revealed he doesn't even see him as a person worth talking to.

Dave thinks he can speak on Davesprite's behalf, which he's definitely not qualified to do. He spent four months living in a pointless reality offshoot with the full knowledge that everything in it is a mistake that needs to be rectified. Rose, the one person he had for company in that timeline, had to be essentially killed in order to fix the timeline. And even if there's still a Rose that currently exists, that single version of Rose he spent all those months together with was still destroyed by his actions. Her blood is on his hands.

All this is to say he's definitely not the same person as current Dave. They may share the same memories and past experiences, but everything Davesprite experienced past the point of divergence is uniquely his. He's his own individual.

That "yeah" right before signing off cuts deep. He is sick of John's shit. Not that I imagine John would notice at all.

Davesprite might be the most tragic character in this godforsaken story. Having Rose's death weighing on his conscious, being forced to mutate himself into a ghostly half-bird monstrosity, letting another version of himself live out the rest of "his" life. He did it all for the sake of making sure his friends have a future to live in, but said friends don't respect him or even like talking to him. To them, he's an extraneous copy of their existing friend. He isn't "real."

And the sad thing is that it's not just his friends who think that. Hussie didn't give a shit about him either. Wouldn't it have been crazy if this conflict was explored and Davesprite was a bigger presence in the story? If he was actually acknowledged as part of the team and the other kids had to learn to stop treating him as "the other Dave"

Well too bad because for one thing, Hussie cannot write convincing conflict. If two characters don't like each other, they simply ignore each other and don't speak. So instead of Davesprite being a ever-present source of awkward tension within the group, he's downgraded to an impotent background character. Tough shit, Orange Dave.

Oh yeah, the less said about Davesprite's ultimate end, the better. What a fucking travesty.

Dave really wants John to snoop around Rose's belongings. The little freak. At least he stops short of asking John to rummage through her underwear drawer.

Technically one of the journals does contain "important game stuff" but Dave doesn't know that. I bet he just wants to know if she wrote about him in her journal.

Dave is putting more effort into invading Rose's privacy than just about anything else prior to this point. Obsessed much?

My god, that "come hither" expression. Things are about to get steamy on Derse.

"Whipping Bugwinged Fuckall" is an amazing Kanaya quote.

Oh look, Sollux's first appearance. He and Kanaya should've talked more. It almost feels like they're co-workers and he's the guy she bugs for IT support. It's a fun dynamic.

Also, I guess Alternia has sex offender registries, which makes no sense. I feel like you'd get straight up killed by the drones for much less.

No I didn't leave this page open while the entirety of "Derse Dreamers" played. That would be silly. Also when I said things were gonna get "steamy" I obviously meant they'd get all sweaty from dancing. Jeez, what'd you think I meant? 😇

Cal is kicked out of the party for being a cockblock.

What are these "shenanigans" Davesprite engaged in to get the hammer from Hephaestus? Fuck if we'll ever find out.

Even though the two kingdoms are fated to fight each other and yadda yadda, there doesn't seem to be much enmity between them. WV is able to unify everyone with little effort.

[S] WV?: Rise Up is certainly a flash that exists. It serves as a follow-up to [S] Jack: Ascend, which I also wasn't really too enthused about. I didn't spend much time talking about it in the last post because I couldn't think of anything to comment about it. Which is strange, because you'd think the big flash to celebrate the comic's one year anniversary, as well as the one that introduces the story's main antagonist, would be a bigger spectacle.

But there's no action, no cool shots like in previous flashes, and ultimately Jack's "ascension" comes from the stupid bunny shit and not from any action on his part. The only real highlight of that flash is the killer tune that is "Black". Apart from that, it pales in comparison to previous flashes in the comic. Much of the same can be said about this one. At least "Skaian Skirmish" is a cool track.

When does this ever have a use? Just like with John, the only point of this whole alchemizing montage is to create a new outfit, computer, and weapon for Rose. The rest of these creations are useless junk.

I mention a new outfit, but the true irony is that the kids' best outfits (John's Vriska jacket, Rose's black dress, Dave's raglan shirt, and Jade's uhh... God Tier dress?) aren't even a part of these montages. For the first three, they're all acquired off-screen and we don't even know the recipes for them.

Trailing right behind Rose's montage, Dave gets his as well. Again, nothing of true value gets made here. These montages feel like Hussie padding out the page count. Seriously, who actually enjoys these parts of the comic?

The alchemiter can potentially create body parts, albeit at an exorbitant cost. Could you imagine if this was actually implemented? If one of the characters lost a limb or something and they got an alchemized replacement?

They could've done that with Vriska or Tavros so they wouldn't have had to use robotic prosthetics. Man, that would've been cool.

I like how this is essentially a "secret" SBaHJ page because it isn't available alongside the others and only appears in Homestuck.

The "most important thing"? My gosh, he really wants to get in her business.

Yes, Rose's story is overly florid, verbose slop, but it feels so similar to Hussie's usual prose when he's trying to be descriptive that I'm not even sure if this story is written to be intentionally pompous or not.

Has Hussie ever tried submitting something for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, the contest to write the worst possible opening paragraph for a novel? I'd bet he'd win without trying. (If you've never heard of this before, look it up and go to the website to read the winning entries. They're hilarious.)

It is rather sweet that Dave likes the story enough to want to read more of it later, though.

Dave is able to figure out Mom Lalonde's intentions simply because he knows Rose well enough to tell when she's being dramatic. See, Dave doesn't even need to read Rose's journal to discover her true thoughts. He already sees through her well enough already (and she likewise sees through his act just as clearly).

The fact that Rose remembers "some things" about her previous self's existence sounds like something that should be investigated further, instead of being written off so abruptly.

Or is that "ok cool" a defense mechanism on Davesprite's part? Maybe talking to Rose is too painful for him, because she's not "his" Rose. Even if she retains all the memories from the future, she'll still never be the same Rose he left behind.

I really wish this was explored more. Davesprite and Rose never talk again after this conversation and it drives me insane. What if he actually tried pressing further about what she remembers about the timeline, trying to seek out remnants of "his" Rose? He could be trying in vain to reconnect with her, to apologize about leaving her to die, but all that ever happens is that he gets rebuffed.

And Rose might recall the moments she shared with another Dave in another timeline, but stamps them out as she continues to focus on the present and as she grows closer with Kanaya. Perhaps revisiting those memories of the doomed timeline, reliving the loneliness leading up to her demise, are too painful to recall. And Davesprite is a living reminder of them, so she pushes him away to make herself forget.

If only Hussie could write convincing and earnest tragedy. We were utterly robbed.

Dave makes it seem like Jade is the one who's going to freak out about the body. But somehow I doubt the girl who lives with the corpse of her grandfather, along with other taxidermied creatures, on permanent display is going to be fazed by another dead body. Yeah, I'm thinking Dave is the one who doesn't want to keep looking at his own corpse.

Also, I never noticed DD hanging out on the I-beam before. That's a neat detail.

This part of the Act is admittedly fun. Could it be because a lot of it had a healthy focus on Rose and Dave? It's amazing how much nicer the comic is to read when the focus is put on the stronger characters.

Unfortunately I already know that the next few upcoming pages are going to be one of my least favorite parts of the comic, so I'm not terribly looking forward to wrapping up this Act next week...

Read the next post here.

#homestuck #homestuck reread #john egbert #terezi pyrope #davesprite #dave strider #rose lalonde #daverose #kanaya maryam #sollux captor #wayward vagabond #jack noir

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dragonrider9905 · 6 months

Text

Celebrating You!

Hi guys! I’ve been on here for a bit now and while I never had a follower goal, I do appreciate you guys who have decided to follow me! So now I’d like to celebrate you!

In light of TBB ending, and how much we'll be missing the boys, I thought this was as good as a time as ever!

Here’s the idea! I’m opening a prompt request for the dates of April 5th through May 5th, 2024 (you may start submitting now though!) and choose from the prompts below! You can choose one from each category, or just one category. It’s ok if it is just the prompt or the prompt and a brief idea. If you have a fun idea or prompt not listed, please share!

Rules: I only write SFW. I typically write for clones; I reserve the right to refuse requests which make me uncomfortable for whatever reason. I have had a few requests in the past that really unsettled me for various reasons. Or if I don't know the character. I'd hate to try to write something then upset the person because it is so ooc that it's cringy. (But if I said I would write your request and haven't yet, I just honestly haven't gotten to it :D I like to do well on the stories you guys entrust to me so it does take me a bit :D)

This is supposed to be fun so lets keep it fun!

You may submit as many requests as you'd like! The more the merrier!

Characters: Star Wars Clone Wars or The Bad Batch (as long as I know them. I know a lot of clones but alas, not all.)

Story genre:

Classic SW! (Pick an era if they exist in more than one if you wish)

AU of choice (modern, western, pirate, mermaid, time traveling, etc if I’m unfamiliar with the genre, I may have to change it or request more details)

Dialogue Prompts:

“Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

“If we’re going to do this we’ll need—“ “A plan?” “No! Code names! Cool ones!”

“I don’t need to be anything to you. I just want my life to mean more to you than my death.”

“You are playing a dangerous game without even a glimpse of the rule book.”

“I’ve never been terrified of death, til he set his sights on you.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” “Yeah, you’re not allowed to ask that in this situation.”

“Where’s your shoe?” “The giant mud puddle in the road demanded a sacrifice.”

“Love at first sight doesn’t exist.” “Then how else do I describe the feeling I got when I first saw you?” “You…love me?” “Apparently not, according to you.”

“A fate worse than death….” “They’re burnt cupcakes.”

“White paint has more color than your face.”

“Why is there a dragon in my fridge?” “It was hot.”

“Touch **, and you’re dead.”

“I am the law.”

“Do that again and I’ll throw you out the window. Wait, what are you doing?” “Checking how high the drop is; seeing if it’s worth it.”

“I’d rather have you hate me than loose you entirely.”

“I have a mission but don’t know what it is.” “Well that sounds incredibly counterproductive.”

“I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties in your life.” “You are the worst at this comforting thing.”

“I don’t know if you’re aware of this but I’m quite petite.” “Really? I had no idea in our twelve years of friendship that you’re shorter than I am.”

“But what is power?” “Loyalty.”

“Don’t you sign to me in that tone.”

“I’m with him/her for better or worse.” “It’ll probably be worse.” “I knew that the day I met him/her.”

"I'm sorry I tried to kill you." "It's fine, but next time you should try harder."

"C'mon, like I need an excuse to spend time with you."

"You're not as bad as everyone says you are."

"The only one who gets to kill you is me."

“blood loss”? well it’s not lost. I know exactly where it went. right over there.”

“How the mighty have fallen!” “It’s a dropped chocolate bar, stop being dramatic.”

“Shit, we’re gonna die” “Now I don’t want to hear that negative attitude, look on the bright side!” “Yay! We’re gonna die! Woo!”

“How do you do it?” “How do I do what?” “Pretend you are ok.” “I’m not pretending.” “Yes, you are. Every single day and it breaks my heart.”

“Hey, so I know things are pretty f**** shitty right now but I need you to breathe for me.” “Wha-wh-wh-” “You’re having a panic attack. It’s gonna be ok. Just breathe with me.”

“Please, my arms—I can’t wipe my tears, don’t let them see!”

"Smiles are contagious!" "Don't worry, I'm vaccinated."

"I don't want to get involved, it's too risky." "Please do it for me, you're the only one I can turn to." "It's not worth it. You really want to lose everything? 'cause I don't."

"Do you ever think of anyone other than yourself?" "No"---a long pause---"actually yes, at Christmas time"

"There is a reason I go through that door first, It's to make sure everyone else walks back out"

“I can’t leave you here!” “You can and you will.”

"OH! Are you alright? Are you alright?" "Apart from being trapped under here, and maybe suffering from broken bones and embarrassment beyond what I am capable of handling. . . I'm dandy, why do you ask?"

Oh no, are you alright? You're covered in blood!" "Yes, it's yours, Now will you please let me take you to the hospital?"

"What did love ever do anything for anyone anyway?"

"What the hell were you even thinking?!" "You told me not to think!"

"With love comes loss, that's part of the deal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end, it was all worth it. There's no greater gift than love."

“'Temporary stitches' all stitches are temporary if you have a pair of scissors and aren’t a coward" "What do you....that better not mean what I think you mean......" "Am I just talking about sewing stitches or sutures too? Maaayyybe?" "NO! Absolutely not!"

"I made the calculations, and boy am I bad at math."

"It'll be over soon, I promise."

"Working together again, just like old times." "Well, not just like old times."

"I am many things but not your enemy."

Action Prompts:

Forehead kisses

Palm/hand kisses

Dramatic rain scene

Touching foreheads

Jealousy

Dancing

Last stand

Christmas/Life Day celebration

mistletoe

Accidental hand touch

First date

First kiss

Spending time with the family

Bad day cheering up scheme

Pranks

Going to a pet shop

Going to the movies

Always go after the girl

soft spoken person has loud, unnerving scream.

Lullabies

Nightmares

injury

amnesia

pretend/mistaken to be married/in a relationship

cooking

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jut-and-dae-enthusiast · 1 year

Text

Case 143! //h.h.j\\

HyunjinxPlusSized!Reader, kinda slow burn? Friends to loversssss, she fell first he fell HARDER, flufffff

Warnings: a bit of like self-image stuff but not too much. Not edited as well as it could be. Tooth rotting fluff tbh. Hyunjin is a simp but ofc he is.

“Why do I keep getting attracted?? I cannot explain this reaction.”

Hyunjin thought he would never see you romantically, that is until he realizes too late that he’s fallen head over heels for you.

The day you met Hwang Hyunjin was chaotic from the very start. You had managed to sleep through all three of your alarms, barely made it in time for work, and thought your bad luck was over when you arrived at the coffee shop. However, as you quickly turned from the counter after grabbing your large iced macchiato, you ran directly into Hyunjin, who had been waiting his turn.

“Oh my god! I’m so so sorry!” You apologize profusely, looking for the nearest napkin dispenser. He was still in shock, looking down at his now stained sweater. “Um, I can buy you a new one?” You suggest, trying your best to clean up your mess without being weird and gropey.

“This sweater was a custom limited edition Prada.” He muttered, looking sadly down at himself. You felt your heart drop into your ass at the realization that this sweater was probably worth more than your entire existence.

“Oh, uh, well…” you trail off, still dabbing napkins against his sweater as your face flushes bright red.

“Don’t worry about it.” He gently rests his hands on yours and pushes them towards you. “I have a really good dry cleaner.” He gives a small smile and turns to leave.

“Let me at least buy you a coffee?” You grab his arm, stopping him before he could leave. “I need a replacement anyway.” You shrug sheepishly. He gives you a once over, trying to decide if you should be trusted before shrugging and agreeing.

“I’ll take an iced americano.” He replies softly before taking a seat in the corner.

Thus began your wonderful friendship. Hyunjin made it clear pretty early on that you weren’t his type, talking to you about the girls he liked or hooked up with. Almost in too much detail at times. He didn’t see you romantically, just as someone to hang out with. Someone who listened to him and liked to sit in silence with him while he painted.

At first, of course, you thought he was cute. You have eyes. But realizing he wasn’t interested in anything like that with you was enough to push you past those feelings quickly. Now, well over two years later, you two have settled into a comfortable platonic relationship.

“What do you need, Jinnie?” You answered the random FaceTime from your best friend, applying makeup to your face.

“Huh? What are you getting all dolled up for?” He asked, clearly forgetting whatever reason he had called you for before.

“I have a date tonight. One of my coworkers set me up with a friend of hers.” You responded simply, dabbing on some lipstick and not even looking at your phone.

Hyunjin was quiet for a moment, watching you with furrowed brows. What was this feeling stirring in his stomach? Surely it wasn’t what he thought it was.

“Have you met this guy before?” He finally asked, clearing his throat.

“Uh, no. But I trust my friend. She wouldn’t set me up with anyone weird.” You shrug, now glancing over to see his concerned look. “Hyunjin, you go out with girls all the time. Don’t tell me you’re suddenly being protective.” You tease, laughing and shaking your head.

“No, it’s not anything like that. I’m just concerned… as your best friend…I want you to be safe.” He tried to argue, but the feeling in his gut kept growing and latching onto every fiber of his being.

How dare someone else get to see her beautiful smile. See how pretty she is with all of her makeup done- Oh my god, what? Get a hold of yourself, Hwang Hyunjin.

Hyunjin shook his head and dismissed the weird thoughts.

“Why did you call, Jinnie?” You asked, eyes narrowing on him in concern.

“Oh, I was just wanting to hang out while I paint. But you have plans, so no worries. Guess it’s just me and Spotify tonight.” He gives you a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and waves before signing off.

A few weeks later, the two of you met up for a late night movie night. You wore what you normally would, a t-shirt and baggy pajama shorts, since you had no one to impress. When Hyunjin gave you a questioning brow, you teased him by saying,

“Changbin isn’t here, so there’s no point in dressing up.” Which earned you his signature side eye and made you laugh. You found your spot on the couch, scrolling through your phone while Hyunjin grabbed the snacks from the kitchen.

“They didn’t have the chips you like, so I-“ He stops short when he glances up at you sitting on the couch. His eyes locked onto your bare legs, which he had seen a million times at this point, and felt his heart lurch. You looked up at him in confusion, your brow slightly furrowing.

“Which ones did you get?” You reached out for him to hand you the chips, but he was frozen. You stand up and gently pull the bag from his hands, narrowing your eyes at him. “You’re being weird.” You mutter before turning and taking your seat on the couch.

“I’ll be right back.” He quickly leaves the room, heading straight for the bathroom. Once inside, he splashes his face with cold water, patting his cheeks frantically. He then looks himself squarely in the eye through the mirror. “Get a grip, Hwang. This doesn’t even make sense. You just haven’t been with someone in a while. Yeah, just touch starved. That’s it.”He whispered to himself, taking deep breaths to steady his heart. After he finally calmed himself enough, he reemerged into the living room with a small smile on his face.

“You okay, bestie?” You looked up at him in concern. “I’m sorry if I took it too far with the Changbin thing. I was just joking.” You had clearly spent the last ten minutes wondering what could have upset him.

“No, it’s not that! It’s nothing, actually. I just had a weird stomach cramp.” He smiled assuringly and took his seat beside you. However, he almost immediately realized that he had sat too close and your arms were pressed up against one another.

“Feeling a bit clingy, are we?” You teased while leaning into him and he could feel the red slap its way onto his cheeks and quickly spread down his neck and up to the tips of his ears.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize-“ He moved to scoot away, but you grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Oh, c’mon. It’s not like this is the first time we’ve sat this close.” You rolled your eyes and turned your attention to the movie. He, however, couldn’t look away from your side profile. The curve of your nose, your lips that pouted without even trying.

The second you left his apartment that night, he basically ran to his studio and began sketching you from his memory. Putting love and care into every single curve and freckle. It was frantic- his heart racing the entire time, his fingers trembling. As he sat back from his drawing, gasping for air, it finally dawned on him.

“Oh my god, I’m in love with her.” He muttered, all of the pieces of the puzzle clicking into place. He was wracking his brain trying to understand when this happened, how this had happened. He swore he hadn’t been interested in you, that you were far from his type. He immediately stood up and began pacing his studio, muttering to himself and trying to figure out how this could have occurred.

Before he knew it, morning had come and he hadn’t gotten a minute of sleep. He entered dance practice that day looking like a zombie, especially with the dark bags under his eyes. The guys kept asking him what was on his mind, but he waved them off and gave excuses. He had barely grasped what this was, he wasn’t going to have them teasing him on top of it.

To make matters even worse, they had a comeback right at that time and so he wasn’t able to see you even if he had wanted to. Time seemed to drag on but he soon realized that it had been a month since he had last seen you. Since he realized his feelings. He found himself missing you, scrolling through his camera roll and looking at the photos he had of you. Textbook definition of lovesick (even though he hadn’t confessed his feelings yet). Being ever the observant one, Seungmin caught on rather quickly. He also had happened to glance over Hyunjin’s shoulder and see him sketching your smiling face on his iPad.

“Does y/n know you like her?” Seungmin asked quietly one morning over breakfast. Hyunjin choked on his soup, looking up at his member with wide eyes.

“What are you talking about?” He tried to ask cooly, but the terrified look in his eyes was dead giveaway that Seungmin was right.

“Hyung, it’s written all over your face. I’m guessing you haven’t confessed then.” The younger one nodded to himself and took a bite of his rice.

“I… I don’t know if I should. We have a good thing going right now. I think I’m just being greedy.” Hyunjin shook his head and sighed.

“You’ll never know how she feels until you tell her, Hyung.” Seungmin warned as he stood from the table and took his dishes over to the sink.

It had been at least a week since you had spoken with Hyunjin. While you missed him a lot, you also wanted to check in on him. He had been distant lately. So, you grabbed your phone and sent him a message.

He quickly stood up and quietly went to his room, shutting the door behind him. Just like magic, your face popped up on his screen. He opened the FaceTime call and smiled softly.

“Hey bestie! Haven’t heard from you in a while, so I just wanted to make sure you still liked me.” You teased, laughing. His eyes widened, afraid you had found out his secret. “Not like that, dummy! I already know that one.” You were sure his reaction was because he was shocked you made that assumption.

“R-right. Yeah, you’re still my bestie.” He smiled, his heart rate slowing. He felt like he was going to melt into the floor at the sight of your relieved smile. Had you always been this pretty? It seemed amplified now that he was pining for you. “Uh, have things been good for you?” He tried to seem normal as to not key you in to the fact that he was definitely memorizing the way your hair fell into your face right now so he could draw it later.

“It’s been good! I miss you, though. My work friends are okay, but who am I supposed to watch dramas with when you’re gone?” You laughed at yourself and felt a little sheepish at your admission. “Can we do a self-care drama night when you get back? I just got some nice face masks.”

“Yeah, that would be nice.” He smiled dreamily as he thought about it. He definitely wouldn’t feel nervous the entire time, no way. He’s the rizz-master.

His hands trembled so badly when he tapped on your door that he nearly dropped the drinks he was holding in his other hand. Why was he so nervous? He had done this a hundred times by now, if not more. His mind went completely blank when you opened the door in your baggy t-shirt and sweats.

“Bestie!” You pull him inside and wrap your arms around him in a tight hug. The sudden skinship had his heart pounding even harder than it was before. You pull away from the hug and smile up at him. “I’ve got everything ready! I’ll stick these in the fridge.” You take the drinks from his hand and disappear into your apartment.

Hyunjin wandered over to sit on the couch, wiping his now clammy hands on his sweats hoping you won’t notice. You sit beside him and excitedly begin pulling stuff out for your self-care night.

“Your headband, sir.” You hand him the llama one you had picked out for him a while ago, then you grab your frog one and you both push your hair back from your faces. “You’ve been traveling a lot, so I picked this one out for you.” You explain as you open a face pack and lean over to put it on his face. Normally, he leans in and closes his eyes, “sitting pretty” as you mentally called it. However, this time he moved out of the way with wide eyes.

“I-uh- I can do it!” He reaches for the mask, but you pull back frowning.

“We’ve always put them on for eachother… why are you being weird?… Do you have a new girlfriend?” You searched his face for answers, only to see his eyes somehow go even wider as his head shakes quickly.

“No! Definitely not!” He makes an “x” with his hands and aggressively shakes his head. “I just- whatever. Just put it on.” He leans in, his eyes closed and waits for you to gently put the mask on. Every touch feels like shocks of electricity, so much so that he finds himself holding back shivers.

“There we go.” You say slightly and sit back, admiring his handsome face before he opens his eyes and looks back at you. He quietly grabs your face mask and opens it, hesitantly reaching forward to put it on. Your eyes are closed, complete trust in him as you lean forward slightly.

“How did that double date go?” Hyunjin asked later as you two were letting your masks set and watching a drama.

“That was like forever ago, Hyune.” You tease, rolling your eyes. “I mean, it was fine. But he just wasn’t really into me. I could tell he didn’t expect me to look like this,” she gestures to herself as a whole, “when he agreed to the date. I guess I’m a bit of a catfish.” She giggled, shaking her head. His brows furrowed in confusion as he looked you over.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, so I don’t get what his problem was. And you look nice in all of your pictures, yeah, but you look just as lovely in person. He must be an idiot.” He grumbled, focusing on the tv.

“Jinnie! People are allowed to have a type. You have one and I’ve never said a word about it.” you tried to reason, looking at him in shock.

“Your type doesn’t determine whose name your heart chooses to call.” He says seriously, looking into your eyes. You feel the mood shift, see the intensity of his gaze. “I… I have been… realizing some things lately. About myself. And uh… about you.” His hands are trembling in his lap, but he knew he had to get this out now. “Y/n, you’ve been by my side for so long now. Through a lot of things. And I’m sorry it took me this long to see you. Truly see you.”

“Hyunjin, what’s happening right now?” Was all you could muster, eyes wide as you watched him carefully. “If this is a joke, it’s not funny.” You warned, frowning.

“It’s not a joke, y/n. I… I love you. I have for so long that when I finally realized it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart calls your name. I find myself doodling sketches of you without even realizing. I-” He pauses, realizing his rambling and looks down. You sit there in stunned silence, your brows furrowed and eyes set directly on him. “Please say something. Anything. I-I know this is sudden, but I can’t help-“ before he can finish, you cross the space between the two of you and gently place a kiss on his lips. He lets out a squeak of surprise but melts into you immediately after, his hands holding your face tenderly.

When you finally pull away, you can almost see the hearts swirling in his eyes. There’s no need for words as the two of you smile at one another, gazes full of love.

“Thanks for finally seeing me, Hyunjin.”

(I got the Inspo for this from a “would skz date a plus sized person” tiktok and now we are here. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! 💗)

#skz fluff #stray kids #stray kids fluff #skz texts #hwang hyunjin #skz hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x y/n #Hyunjin x plus sized reader #plus sized y/n #skz

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v1x-holo · 8 months

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ENA THEORY - POWER OF POTLUCK.

"What's the meaning of.. FUN?"

This abstract nonsense world of the internet that never ceases to amaze us.. We all know how fun it is to make ENA HCs and theories! ENA is one of those things that's as written super vague so everyone gets something different out of it & the story is often unimportant if it even exists. I believe that deep inside there's some logic through implications and only. You have to think outside the box and more conventionally to get something out of it n I just love to hyperanalyze content that has hidden or no lore. I think I'd be cool to share my own take on some stuff. In today's episode…. ba dum tssss I wanna discuss about the meaning behind the latest episode: Power of potluck. Like, the meaning behind the "joy" roaming throughout the entire thing. First of all. This episode seems to be the biggest source of the real meaning of emotions and the life on this universe. The "implications" are also pretty much forward, the straight-up Therapy thing took me aback pretty much LMAO- u just don't see this showcasing style of deep significances in the ENA series at all. Anyhow, let's start! 1) THE NAME MEANING:

Potluck is apparently a food gathering where many people eat at. This has a strange connection with BBQ. Idk yet why Joel decides to connect ENA with dishes n such. However, just like I said before about "Potluck", people enjoy and share food with others. In the ENA episode everyone tries to support ENAs journey to the " Fun" with any way they can, one giving her instructions, other dancing… They have that sort of positive connection, just like in Potlucks! :]

2) THE MASKING

While the while journey of ENA searching for the "Fun", you see her having a mask stuck on her blue side's face. The sad side is neutrally negative, low-down, sad, pitiful n such. The mask THOUGH is more of silly, hyper, and a sneaky lil goober. Jokes aside, we all know how much ENA dislikes her emotions, especially her blue side's. The mask, full of not necessarily happy emotions, but enough to mask such gloominess, works as a replacement for her sad side. However, one can't mask it all forever and you eventually can't hold it inside at some point. That's where ENA got sensitive again when she got rid of the mask, and couldn't bottle up her emotions anymore.

Near the end, the therapist finally gives us an answer for the "Fun": "The greatest of fun can be found in the little moments." So, what's the meaning of the "Fun"..? In other words, enjoy the moment of the small, joyful things. Go have some fun with your friends, chill a bit, do something you enjoy. Even if you don't have the respect from others, the luxuries and the fame, you better enjoy the little things. These are what are worth in life. Pretty much similar with irl, ain't it?… Despite ENA being surreal, it's never far away from reality.

… That's all guys :] Hope you liked it. Here I also put some lil things from other theories that I liked, so credt to them as well lol :]

#ena #ena joel g #dream bbq #ena dream bbq #temptation stairway #auction day #joel guerra #extinction party #joel g #ena fanart #ena theory #Theory #ENA theories #power #ena power of potluck #bunny power of potluck #power of potluck

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builtbybrokenbells · 1 year

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Gold Dust Woman | iii

A confession that was long overdue makes life even more complicated than before. Y/n has to make the hard decision of logic or emotion, only to realize that the answer she is so desperately seeking brings even more questions, and holds no comfort at all.

Read part two here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader, sam kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 13.1k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex (wrap it), fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!reveiving), oral (m!receiving), face-fucking, choking, praise, touch of orgasm denial, biting, overstimulation, name calling, pet-names, multiple orgasms (male & female), dirty talk, some fluff, angst if you squint (light arguing, mostly just the plot line angst), feelings of guilt, swearing, sorry if i miss any!

howdy. im back from the dead 😁 here’s a little apology for all you wonderfully patient people. thanks for sticking with me ♥️ this is basically porn with plot. sorry if it’s not fantastic, i really wanted to get this out for you guys so some parts are a bit rushed and it’s poorly edited. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻

“Why now, Sam?” You asked, still trying to wrap your head around the information. His hand was still resting atop yours, the heat of his skin searing and the feeling just as electrifying. He didn’t respond, just took the opportunity to watch your face, studying the details like he was dependent upon it. You raised your eyebrow, prying for an answer.

“Now is as good as any time, right? Something about living in the moment, or whatever.” He shrugged, the boyish charm of his humour showing. While it usually made you swoon, now it was infuriating.

“No, not really.” You laughed, but it wasn’t because the situation was humorous. You had no idea what else to do, and that was the only sound that wanted to make an appearance. “Maybe a few months ago? Last week? Last night, even?”

“Why does it matter?” He asked, thinking he could catch you in your lie.

“Because it does!” You exclaimed, keeping your voice as quiet as possible. The last thing you wanted was to make a scene and get everyone else involved. To get Jake involved, more specifically. “I’ve been in love with you for…” you paused, looking past him and settling your gaze on the wall. You needed to gather your thoughts before continuing. Your emotions were high, which never meant anything good. You much preferred to use logic instead of emotion, and the last two days had been completely void of anything logical. “A long time, Sam.” You finally said, looking back to him. “A really long time, and you never gave me any idea that you felt the same way.”

“You never said anything, either.” He defended, a sinking feeling settling in his stomach. Had he known you felt so strongly for him, he might have acted sooner.

“Because every time you come over, you always seem to want to talk to every girl other than me. You always acted like I was just another one of the guys, not that you liked me, too.” You could see the look of regret form on his face, but you didn’t feel bad for saying it. You were hurt, completely baffled that he’d waited so long. “And the one night…” you took a deep breath, forcing the words to come out, even if you didn’t want them to. “The one night I wasn’t sitting there watching you, waiting for you to pay attention to me like a lost puppy, is the night you notice. The night I finally decided to have fun, instead of just existing, you happen to be watching me, too. The night you see another guy paying attention to me was when you finally decided to speak up? Like I was only worth liking when you were scared you couldn’t have me?”

“No, y/n. It’s not like that.” He shut the idea down, realizing how bad it looked, now. “I mean, yeah, it definitely made me want to speak up, to say something before I lost the chance, but that’s not why I’m telling you.”

“Months, Sam. You can’t tell me you didn’t notice. My entire world revolves around you, and you waited until someone else made a move?” You didn’t realize the extent of your words; once you said them, his demeanour changed.

“So, it was more than a game of beer pong?” He questioned, but he didn’t sound angry. Your stomach dropped, realizing you had sold yourself out. When you didn’t respond, he took it as more than enough of an answer. A small smile graced his lips, one that was more than unexpected. You didn’t like the look in his eye, like you’d just lit a fire inside him. “I have competition?”

“No, Sam.” You shook your head, shutting it down before he could go any further. “No competition. Not a game, or a race. This isn’t like that.” But he wasn’t listening, already straightening up in his seat with a smirk adorned on his lips, like he’d been waiting to reveal this idea to you, but didn’t know when he should. “Sam,” you warned. He moved his hand from yours, making a move to stand, now. You got up, too, not willing to let him leave without any more conversation. Once you were both standing, he didn’t turn away. Instead, he stepped towards you, brushing your hair from your face. Your heart sped at the sudden contact, not expecting it.

“It’s okay,” he assured you, running his thumb over your cheek. You couldn’t help but lean into him, feeling the same gravitational pull you felt with his brother. Maybe it was a Kiszka thing, or it was just something they had in common. That, you weren’t sure of. You were sure of the heavenly feeling of his hand on you, and how badly you wanted to stay like that, forever. “You can have your fun with him, because I know you’ll end up with me, princess. I’ll make sure of it.” He promised, no tone of joking present within the statement.

“Sam,” you breathed, wanting to put a stop to the situation before it could start. Even so, you couldn’t help but feel your head swirl at the closeness of his face. The scent of incense was still lingering on his clothes even after a long night of drinking, captivating you and pulling you in even further. Through all the similarities you’d noticed between him and his brother, the feeling of their touch was so different. Both fantastic, but so unlike one another. The idea of kissing Sam was almost comforting, like a promise of safety after a long journey. The thought of kissing Jake felt almost forbidden, like it had to be kept a secret, but it was exhilarating. It was a battle of thrill and security; you’d never had much of an issue with it before, but now it seemed impossible to choose.

“Why are you saying my name like that? I haven’t even done anything to deserve it, yet.” He hummed, pulling you into him a little more. You were certain he could sense the effect his words had on you. Your chests were practically pressed together, heartbeats synced and rapid. You were torn, stuck between the satisfaction of finally having him in such a way, and guilt for doing it behind Jakes back. For something you’d been wishing about for so long, it was producing a lot of conflicting emotions.

Unbeknownst to you, Jake was well aware of what was happening in the kitchen. He’d caught on as soon as Sam followed you in there, and he wasn’t mad about it. Anyone with a set of eyes could tell you had feelings for Sam, but he was confident in his ability to win you over, too. Both boys had the same deadly mindset, no worry in their mind that they would lose the game. Their cockiness and determination was leaving them blind to the reality of the situation. Both were so certain they could win you over that they were forgetting they were playing with real emotions, yours and their own.

But, it’s nothing if not human nature to be selfish, and in this specific triad, greed was the only motivator.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” You finally said, but you knew you didn’t mean it; there was nothing you wanted more.

“No?” He questioned, using his finger to tilt your chin upwards. “You want me to stop?” You wanted to say yes, to push him away and forget the whole thing ever happened, but you couldn’t seem to find the strength within yourself to do so. His stare was captivating and his touch was invigorating.

“Just kiss me.” You expelled, once again unwilling to think about any consequences. Permission was all he needed to proceed. He leaned down, capturing you in a kiss that was sweet enough to make you forget your worry. It was different than any you’d had before; filled with emotion and not reliant on lust. It was over soon after it started, and unlike the moments you shared with Jake, the ending of the kiss with Sam left you with a feeling of fulfillment and relief. For the first few seconds, at least. Then, a crashing wave of panic followed.

He picked up on your change of demeanour, immediately pulling you into an embrace to soothe the after effects. He held you to him, hand rubbing circles in over your back in attempt to calm you down. “Hey, it’s okay.” He assured you, finally realizing that he may have put a little too much pressure on you. When you didn’t respond, he pulled back to get a look at your face. He wasn’t expecting you to pull him into another kiss, shocked at the suddenness of your actions.

He snaked his hand to your hip, the other cupping your cheek in a loving hold. This one was hungrier, a type of desperation laced within it. He assumed it was for him, but in truth, it was desperation for an answer. You thought if you could pinpoint the exact emotion the kiss produced within you, it would make your choice a lot easier. For a moment, it did. When you pulled away, it seemed like the world made sense again. The comfort from the short moment you shared with him was incomprehensible; something you’d been yearning for forever. The logical thing would be to let Jake go, to understand that at the end of the day, you had real feelings for Sam that had been solidified even further with time. To understand the animalistic nature of your attraction to Jake was just that, and nothing more.

The right way to go about it was to end your entanglement with Jake, and pursue the relationship with Sam. You understood that had this happened just a day sooner, there would be no internal debate or struggle about being with Sam. You had to act based on that, because bouncing between both boys was immoral and wrong. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt either of them, and allowing things to continue as such would only result in a catastrophic failure. But, even as you came to terms with the fact of the matter, you still felt saddened at the thought of losing Jake. You wanted Sam, that much was undeniable, but just within a day, Jake had earned a spot in your heart and didn’t seem to want to leave.

You yearned for the opportunity to be with Sam for so long that you seemed to put him on an untouchable pedestal. One where he was almost angelic and was viewed as if he could do no wrong. That was the issue with crushes, because it always made the subject appear like they were above all else. And, the idea of them was solely based on imagination. Whereas with Jake, you had actually been with him. Your idea of him wasn’t a fallacy; it was more real than anything you had ever shared with Sam. You knew his hands, his mouth, and his ability to bring you to your knees with just a glance. The version of Sam you had in your head was complete fantasy, and the idea of Jake was reality. And because of that, he was settled in your bones like sediment and was weighing you down while you tried to make the right decision.

“You’re evil,” You sighed, looking over his face. He gave a small chuckle in response, still hesitant to let you go.

“I never said I would make it easy on you.” He teased, giving you a smile. “Think about it, princess. You don’t have to give us an answer right now.”

“You’re asking me an impossible question.”

“Not impossible, just difficult.” He corrected, as if it would make you feel any better. “Like I said, I’m not worried.” You fought back an eye-roll at his statement. He was so caught up in his own cockiness to realize you were hurting over it. This was not the position you wanted to be in, and although he wasn’t helping, you had dug your own grave by giving in to temptation for both of them.

The sounds of footsteps in the hallway caused both of you to part, shying away from each other as if you’d committed a crime. You quickly sat back down, burying your face in your cup of coffee to hide your rosy cheeks and guilty expression. Danny and Josh walked into view, almost immediately picking up on the tense nature in the room. Danny looked as if he was about to comment on it, but decided not to. He always seemed to notice when you were acting out of the ordinary. “I think we’re gonna head out. You coming?” He eventually asked Sam. The boy looked to you one last time, but gave a nod. “We’re still on for lunch, tomorrow?” Danny turned his attention to you, now.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll pick you up at 12?”

“Yeah, perfect.” He agreed.

“Thanks for coming over.” You smiled. “I’m sure you’ll be back soon?”

“You can’t get rid of us that easily.” Josh assured you. You bid your goodbyes, eyes following them as they walked towards the front door. You listened for the sound of the door shutting before slumping down into your seat. You pulled your head into your hands, fingers tangling in the roots of your hair and gently pulling at them.

You knew what you had to do, but you wanted to process it before having to face Jake. You could hear the gentle hum of the guitar from the living room, taunting you with serenity. The sound was much too calming for your situation. The idea of joining him in the living room produced nothing but unease within you; knowing you had to go in there and tell him to leave was agonizing, because deep down, you still wanted him to stay. You were completely caught in your own mess but couldn’t find the strength to have sympathy for yourself, knowing you’d created it all on your own. Right vs. Wrong was barely existing within you, because every possibility seemed to be a little bit of both.

You thought that the shared moment with Sam would have solved everything, that it would have made the turmoil make sense. In a strange way, it did. In many more ways, it made it worse. So, you stood, no real plan in mind, and walked to the living room with intent to settle your mistakes, to right them in some sense, even if you weren’t sure how to. When you appeared in the entryway, Jake didn’t even seem to notice your presence. Instead of announcing it, you watched him for a moment, admiring him while you still could. His hair was framing his face, cascading down in a sea of brown and perfectly showcasing his features. His eyes were settled on his hand, gracing the fretboard with their talent. He seemed to be playing so effortlessly, like it was more natural than breathing. You supposed, to him, it was.

You didn’t notice the trance you’d found yourself in until he looked up at you. The simple eye contact was powerful enough to steal the air from your lungs. It only took a smile for you to forget what you’d come to talk to him about. “Alone at last, Gold Dust Woman.”

‘Fuck.’ you thought to yourself. As confident as you were in your decision, your ability to follow through was diminishing more by the second. ‘Damn him and his pretty face.’

“Come to break the bad news?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. Your blood ran cold, unsure of how he knew without you even speaking a word. He gave a small smirk at the expression on your face, wondering if you would come clean or not.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” you said once you’d gathered your thoughts. He let out a chuckle, shaking his head at you.

“I told you, angel. You’re not a very good liar.” He searched beside him, finding the case for the guitar. He unplugged the cord before gently setting the instrument where it belonged.

“M’sorry,” you mumbled, unsure of what exactly you were apologizing for. Part of you felt it was because it was a show of guilt for your actions, the other part of you thought it may be because you were ending whatever you’d started with him.

“For?” He questioned, sitting back against the cushion of the couch. In place of an answer, you stared, realizing you still hadn’t made up your mind, despite being certain you had. Maybe it was his aura, so intense and alluring, or perhaps it was due to the unfulfilled promise you had made to each other. Either way, any coherent decision and moral was long gone now that he was in front of you. “Hmm?” You swallowed hard, only focused on his hand resting in his lap. The curious hand that started it all, the one that contained all of his power.

“I, uh…” his eyes never left your face, making your nervous demeanour even worse. He expelled a long breath, almost as if he was annoyed for having to answer for you again.

“Sorry that you were sneaking around with my brother?” He theorized. “Or sorry that you were caught?”

“How did you know?” You finally mustered the strength to speak up. He gave a shrug, one that radiated carelessness. He didn’t give a single shit about what you’d done with Sam, and it was blatantly obvious.

“It’s written all over your face, sweetheart.” He let out a laugh, like he couldn’t believe you were so oblivious to your own stature. “Everyone knows you like Sam, y/n. We’re not blind.”

“So why did you start whatever this is?” You asked, feeling annoyance bubble in your chest. If he was so aware of your feelings, there was no logical reason for him to instigate a relationship with you.

“I can’t give you all of the answers.” He replied, nonchalant and unapologetic for his actions.

“At least give me some!” Your frustration was apparent; both boys had been elusive and indirect about their motives, and it was driving you insane. If their intent was to drive you crazy, it was working. He let out a little sigh, as if your inquiries were an inconvenience.

“You like Sam, Sam likes you.” He stated, as if he were explaining the situation to a child. You clenched your teeth, slowly becoming more angry as he continued on. “I like you, you like me.” He paused again, waiting for confirmation of the fact. You wanted to shut the idea down, deny that you had any interest in him. But, you couldn’t, because it simply wasn’t true. If you had no feelings for Jake, it would have been easy to tell him to leave, to end the debate without a second thought. Instead, you were struggling with the simple idea, let alone the execution. As much as you hated to admit it, you did like Jake, and you liked him way more than you originally thought.

“Yeah,” you nodded.

“Now we have a level playing field.” He shrugged. “If you’re going to pick between us, it should at least be a fair decision.”

“So you guys decided this on your own?” You couldn’t help but feel a bit betrayed at the knowledge, that they’d let you drown in guilt and regret while they knew what was happening the whole time.

“I think you decided it, too, actually.” He explained. “You haven’t told me to leave yet.”

“Okay, leave.” You snipped, crossing your arms over your chest in annoyance. He laughed at your command, finding the bossy persona entertaining.

“Is that really what you want, sweetheart?” The longer you looked at him, the more you felt the urge to strangle him. Something about his air of superiority was insufferable; the nature of his entitlement was off-putting, almost like he knew you were bluffing, even before you did. You couldn’t find the strength to confirm your statement, because the truth was that you were dreading his departure.

The whole situation was ridiculous, completely unnecessary and utterly pointless. In the battle of winning you over, they didn’t seem to realize that they were only pitting themselves against each other. The promise of affection from you simply wasn’t enough to excuse the loss of their relationship, and you wanted them to understand that before they took it too far. You were well aware of how dangerous the game was, but even so, you were enjoying it despite the fact. Something about being loved by a Kiszka was euphoric, and to have it from both of them was more than enough of a reason to ignore any potential consequences.

“This isn’t a good idea, Jake.” You whispered.

“It’s a better idea than one of us sitting back and suffering in silence. We both have a fair shot, now.” You shook your head, baffled at his inability to see the issue. “We know what we’re doing, angel.” He promised. “Now, tell me the truth. Do you really want me to leave?” You felt dirty even holding a desire for him to stay. The idea of being pursued by both brothers was thrilling, but unsettling, especially knowing that it was bound to be a catastrophe. Knowing that they were aware of the situation and were actively trying to win you over was no comfort; all it served was a reminder that they were obviously not thinking clearly. You knew you should shut it down, stop it before anything bad could happen, but that pull he possessed was stronger than ever. You felt like you were gravitating towards him without even realizing it, with no means to stop it.

He stood, now, slowly making his way towards you. The gentle nature of his movements were like a cloud of a reassurance, a silent promise that he would take care of you and aid you in forgetting any of the worries you had. It was their charm in action once again; both of them had the ability to make you see past even the worst of decisions. The air surrounding him even radiated with a sense of calmness, like everything would be okay as long as he was around.

As his hands landed on your hips, your eyes fluttered closed at the feeling. Morally, you knew you should have recoiled, shied away from his touch and told him to leave. You came in with the intent to do so, and still hadn’t let go of the nagging thought. Then again, you felt the same way when Sam was touching you like so. Afterwards, you seemed to have a new found sense of clarity. You thought that the clarity might make a reappearance if you kissed Jake, that the decision would be so much easier if you allowed it one last time. That way, you could have an unbiased opinion on both feelings, and make a plan accordingly. You repeated that thought in your head until you believed it.

Once again, you’d failed to see the repercussions of your actions, blinded by your own stupidity and lack of self-control. In no world was allowing the kiss an intelligent decision. But, you wanted him so badly that in the moment, it seemed only right to do so. The devil was a master at his own game, and you’d fallen right into his trap. As certain as you may have been about your course of action upon your arrival, deep down you knew that Jake would never let you go so easily. “You should go, Jake.” You managed to get the words out, despite not wanting to say them. He was close enough that you could practically feel the warmth radiating off him. His face was just close enough to taunt you, his lips so easily accessible that it was hard to think of anything else.

“I didn’t ask if I should, I asked if you wanted me to leave.” He reminded, the low hum of his voice vibrating through you. You took in a long breath, keeping your eyes closed in hopes it would help you to follow through with your statement. “Because if I remember correctly, you were the one who wanted me to stay.”

“That was before everything got complicated.” You said, barely speaking loud enough for him to hear.

“I don’t think it’s complicated at all, angel.” He lifted a hand to your face, cupping your cheek with the utmost care and caution. Your heart was pounding against your ribs, stomach twisted in a knot, knowing that if you didn’t put a stop to his antics, you’d end up in the same position as you were the night prior. “I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it.” The devil inside you was partnering with the one that was possessing him, pushing you further into his arms. “If that’s what you want, of course.”

You did; you’d been starving for it since he’d given you the first taste. Even if it was wrong, the temptation was too high to turn him away. “You’re despicable,” you breathed, finding the truth of the statement proper for both brothers. Relentless and utterly despicable in their charm.

“You like it.” He taunted, knowing all too well that he was correct. He awaited a verbal answer, but the time for talking was through. Before he could get another word out, you leaned forward and closed the gap between your mouths. As much as he was hoping for the outcome, he was shocked at the suddenness of your motion. It only took him a few seconds to catch up to speed, pulling you into him and responding with as much enthusiasm as you were giving him. The internal struggle you were caught up in was immediately silenced; the only thing that mattered was him, and how you never wanted to forget how it felt to have him on your skin.

When you broke away from each other, you were too far gone to take a moment to reassess the situation, only thinking about the promises of the night prior. There was no more debate on whether he should leave. The thought of not finishing what you had started was unbearable; the idea of his departure was excruciating. You decided that you could decide later, that the damage was already done and you were only allowing yourself to be fully educated before picking your path. You could wallow in your guilt later, but for the moment, Jake was the only thing you could think about.

The human ability to overlook pain for momentary pleasure is abstruse.

“Still want me to leave?” He asked, breathless from the kiss. Although yes was the best answer to his question, you were aware that he wouldn’t even make it to the door before you were chasing after him.

“Shut up,” you snapped, still annoyed from the events that unfolded, and on edge from the pent up sexual tension. His grip on you tightened at the harsh words, picking up on your energy and preparing to match it. “Are you going to finish what you started?”

“Don’t expect to speak to me like that and get what you want.” He warned, lips still hovering over your own. You didn’t cower under the authority, too worked up to submit just yet.

“You can’t walk away either, and you know it.”

“Don’t be so sure about that.” He muttered. He knew he wouldn’t, but he absolutely could if he wanted to. He’d mustered the strength to do it once, and he knew he could do it again. Instead of continuing the bickering, you snaked your hand around to the back of his neck and pulled him into another kiss. It was needy, both of you trying to make up for the state you left each other in the night before. A messy struggle ensued, a battle of trying to remove each others clothes without breaking a kiss.

He managed to free you from your shirt, only breaking away from you for a second. You took the opportunity to do the same to him, wasting no time returning back to each other. Now his hands had the opportunity to roam your upper body; the feeling of him on you was better than you remembered it, perhaps because you were sober, or maybe just because you wanted him so badly. It didn’t really matter which it was, you only cared about him never stopping. He guided you towards the couch, neither of you bothered by the fact you were still in the living room. You had both come to the conclusion that the bedroom was too far away and were content with the current location.

Once you were secure on the sofa, he hooked his fingers through the sides of your shorts, pulling them off in a swift motion. There was no more willingness to wait, you were both starving for each other. He settled between your legs, reminding you so strikingly of the night prior that you were almost scared he would leave again. Your worry subsided when his hands returned to your body, knowing no other thought could override how he was making you feel. His lips curiously drifted over every available part of you, remembering every sensitive spot while he used the gesture to appreciate you all at the same time.

You could tell his patience had greatly diminished since the night before. He seemed less concerned with teasing, focused more on catching you up to his speed than anything else. In that moment, you understood just how hard it was for him to walk away from you. His plan had worked; you hadn’t stopped thinking about him once, but he achieved it at a price. His determination for the long game had faltered, and he was caught in your web just as much as you were in his. His silence spoke volumes, proving further that fucking you had been the only thing on his mind.

His fingers slipped between your legs, the act as natural as breathing for him. He took a moment to appreciate the arousal that had begun to pool, but didn’t hover too long. His thumb found its way to your clit, barely applying any pressure. Even so, the small action caused your breath to hitch in your throat. A hard realization washed over you; his hands didn’t only posses such power when you were drunk and everything seemed fantastic. You were sober, no diminished inhibitions and all normal brain power restored, and he still felt better than anything you had ever experienced. The devil inside him was constant, not encouraged by intoxication or any other means. The version of Jake you knew from the night before was the same one in front of you, now. You were gutted at the thought, knowing that liquor didn’t have any effect on the situation; he was just as charming, and you were just as willing to fall for it.

He gradually increased the pressure of his thumb, the small action quickly turning you into a mess below him. He barely had to touch you to drive you crazy. He watched your face, intent on seeing every micro-expression you were willing to make. He had yet to speak a word, and you almost didn’t want him to. As good as he made you feel, there was a part of you that was still pissed off at him. You continued to tell yourself that this was solely to settle the score, to finish what you started and move on, but you knew it wasn’t true. The intense emotions incurring within you were a direct result of his minuscule actions. Without a doubt, that told you that whatever your situation was, it wouldn’t end with your orgasm. It was far beyond sex, now. If it was just a hookup, or just for the sake of sex, you would have no issue telling him to leave. If you wanted to hook up with someone, all you had to do was go to the nearest bar. Whatever this was, was laced with emotion and coated with complexity. Even with his hands on you so intimately, you were terrified of him walking out the door.

When his fingers slipped inside you once more, you were ashamed to admit that the thought of Sam was long gone. Whatever evil Jake was doing, he was doing it unfathomably well. The spell he casted over you made it impossible to think of anything other than him, and it was terrifying. You knew that even with the knowledge of a future filled with suffering, that moment made it all worth it. The things you were willing to do to keep having him like this was despicable, and they made you feel dirty for even thinking such a way. But, as you grew to understand in the last twenty-four hours, Jake was inescapable, and part of you was okay with that. As much as it made the nature of your predicament so much more complicated, it radiated an air of comfort. That was another revelation that made your decision so much harder; the thought of cutting him off was unbearable, but the idea of continuing on as such was anxiety inducing. No matter which way you looked at it, every possibility seemed terrible.

“Does that feel good, angel?” The gravelly tone immediately stopped any forebodings before they could surface. In an instant, just with a few words, he had you completely immersed in his being once more. His caring nature seemed to be genuine, but there was a distant look in his eye that made you second guess the sincere impression. You thought maybe it was a question pertaining to his ego, and the idea did not take you as a surprise in the slightest. Still, with how generous his actions were, you had no problem feeding into him a little bit.

“Feels so good, baby.” You sighed, reaching down and cupping his cheek in your palm. The pet name seemed to spark a fire in him, his eyes darkening and his jaw clenching. He took in a long breath through his nose, seeming to relax him and allow him to focus back on his objective. He sped his movements slightly, letting his thumb brush over your clit with every pump of his fingers. “God, please don’t stop.” You whined, back arching off the cushion of the couch begging for just a bit more contact.

“Being so good for me, baby.” He stated, his mind clearly fully immersed in your face. “You know I’ll give you whatever you want.” And he wasn’t lying, although the terms were subjective and almost always his own. You had little say on when you could get what you wanted. Still, you knew that anything at all from Jake was well worth the world, even if you had to suffer first. “You gonna cum for me?” He asked, picking up on the furrow of your eyebrows, the slight part in your lips and the laboured breathing. Even if he’d only seen the expression once before, he could recognize it anywhere. It hadn’t left his mind.

“Y-Yeah,” you stuttered, eyes squeezed shut and the burning in the pit of your stomach growing more intense with every second that passed. You both knew it wouldn’t take much more, but you were afraid he would pull away before you could. Jake’s arrogance left you constantly on edge, wondering if his words were true or laced with deception. Not in a terrible, untrustworthy way, but in a sense so minor that it made you second guess yourself, slowly driving you insane and leaving you begging for more. He’d never lie to you about anything important, but he was quite keen on being an asshole in the bedroom. That was part of his whole wicked agenda. You were certain he only harnessed such a persona to keep you guessing what his next move was, to keep you on his hook.

“Come on, angel.” He encouraged. The three words sent a rush of relief through you, settling the fear and letting you know he wanted it just as badly. He didn’t have to work much harder, because within a few seconds you were coming undone. It was a mess of heavy breathing and slurs of moans decorated with his name. He coaxed you through it, soaking up every detail of the experience as he watched you. “So beautiful,” he breathed, muttering the words to himself as you came down from the high. You would have missed his statement if you had not been immersed in every word and action he gave. Another rush of emotion ran through you, but this one was different than the normal feeling of arousal he usually produced within you. It was endearing, the type of statement that made your cheeks heat with a blush and a smile fight its way onto your lips. It was genuine, and you were certain you could live a lifetime surviving solely off of compliments from him.

He made a move to stand, sending you into a panic, worried he would decide he was going to leave again. He gave a small chuckle at your expression as he steadied himself on his feet. “Don’t leave.” You sat up, head still buzzing from the intensity of the orgasm. You planted your palms on the cushion of the couch to keep yourself upright. “Please.”

“I’m not, baby. Don’t worry.” He reached out, guiding your chin upwards with his hand so he could get a good look at your face. The worry in your eyes was evident, but the sincerity in his face rivalled it. You gave a small nod, opting to trust him. Your eyes drifted downwards, settling on the bulge in his jeans. He was clearly worked up himself, maybe even more than you were. He released his gentle hold on your face to undo his belt. You took in a long breath, trying to keep your excitement from showing to much.

He tossed the belt to the side, continuing his work at freeing himself from his pants. When his jeans and boxers were discarded on the floor, you bit down on the inside of your lip to keep yourself from letting out a gasp. He stood, fully exposed in front of you, and even more attractive than you could have imagined. You were no stranger to the fact that Jake was beautiful, but the sight before you was breathtaking. His cock was eye level with you, tip red and glistening with pre-cum, and even larger than anticipated. Your mouth was practically watering, and you felt your arousal growing more by the second. You reached out, grabbing his hand and pulling him a little closer to you. Before he could comprehend what you were doing, you had slipped off the couch and onto your knees in front of him.

You took him into your mouth, and although he wasn’t expecting it, it was more than welcomed. The relief he felt from the small act was quite evident. He let out a low groan, bringing his hand to the back of your head and gathering your hair. He kept a gentle hold on the strands, not enough to cause you any discomfort, but enough for you to know that he was still in control. You slowly worked yourself up to speed, focusing on the head for a moment before gaining the confidence to take him further. He didn’t push you, content with anything you were willing to give him. Despite his silence on the matter, he was desperate for you, too. After you familiarized yourself with him, your need for him grew. You relaxed your jaw, allowing easier access, and took him as far as you could. Once the feeling became less foreign, you started at a steady pace.

His grip in your hair tightened and his breathing sped, a sure sign that he thought you were doing a good job. “Fuck, y/n.” He groaned, doing his best to stop himself from thrusting in time with your movements. “Doing such a good job, angel.” He didn’t want to push you, but you were both at the point of forgoing any gentle nature. The pent-up frustration from recent events were coming to an explosive climax; any and all formalities of the first time were no longer needed, and the lust was driving you both feral for each other. Your gaze fluttered up to meet his face, your stature refusing to falter. When he caught your eyes, it looked as though it flipped a switch inside of him. His jaw hardened, stare narrowing and the hold on your hair grew tighter still. He pulled you off him for a moment, taking a second to catch his breath.

When your eyes connected, it was almost as if an unspoken agreement was made. As if he’d turned into a whole different person, an aura of dominance surrounded him with just a slight expression change. “Tap my leg twice if you want me to stop.” He ordered. You gave a nod, understanding that you were giving up any control you had previously. If it was anyone else, you might have been nervous to do so, but not with Jake. As much as he could piss you off by times, you trusted him in every sense of the word. “I need to hear the words.”

“I will.” You promised, assuring him you would be honest. He looked over your face for any sign of discomfort, but he was met with an excited expression. With that confirmation, any loving undertone in his concern disappeared. He roughly guided your head back to its earlier position, the tip of his cock resting on your lips. You had to take a second to process the sudden change, but wasn’t fast enough for his liking.

“Open.” He snapped. Your shock over the harsh word was evident, but the change was welcomed. You felt a burning sensation in the pit of your stomach, excited at the change in pace. You did as he asked, and he wasted no time taking advantage of the compliance. He started slower than you anticipated, but it didn’t last for long. Once you had adjusted to him once more, he held your head in place and set his own pace with his hips. You did your best to keep up with him, trying to steady your breaths and relax your muscles as much as you could. You had confidence in your ability, but you had to admit that it wasn’t an easy task. If he decided to push you further, you knew it was a possibility that you would have trouble taking his whole length, especially at such a pace. Still, you persevered, knowing that pleasing him was just as, if not more pleasurable than getting off yourself.

“You look so pretty with my cock in your mouth.” He growled. The blunt statement settling inside you, weighing you down like concrete had replaced your bones. The filthy praise was exhilarating, almost sending you into another orgasm from the sound alone. The new rush of arousal that took over you was primal, all fear of underperformance disappearing instantly. You reached your hand between your legs, fingers immediately finding your clit. You desperately searched for some sort of relief while he used you as he pleased.

The whole display was obscene, certainly not where you had expected to end up when you first joined him in the living room. Still, you couldn’t find it within yourself to be upset at the shift in plan. As immoral as it was, having sex with Jake seemed to ignite a whole new part of you that you weren’t sure even existed before. After years of lighthearted flings with boys who tried too hard to act like men, you believed sex was never going to be wholeheartedly enjoyable. Instead, it felt more like a chore by times. Just one night with Jake had you rethinking the entire belief, and now experiencing it again solidified the fact that you were wrong. Never in your life had you been so elated to be wrong about something.

As Jake noticed where your hand ended up, the knowledge seemed to fuel him further. As he fucked your mouth, he used his hand to push your head down in time with his thrusts. Even though you were content with the action, you had to admit that it was a little hard to handle. Your eyes were watering and you fought back a gag with every movement of his hips. You kept his words in mind, knowing that if you wanted him to stop, he would in a heartbeat. You decided you could keep up for a little while longer, mostly because you believed he wouldn’t be able to maintain his pace for any length of time. His breathing was ragged, he was glistening with sweat, and the moans slipping from his lips were pornographic. If he didn’t slow down, you were certain he was going to cum.

One particularly deep thrust caught you off guard, causing the gag you’d been holding back to surface. Your throat constricted around him while a few tears involuntarily slipped down your cheek. In your messy state, you felt his cock twitch in your mouth. Before you had time to worry if he was going to orgasm or not, he withdrew from you completely. It took him a moment before he moved or spoke. He had to calm himself down before you moved on to something new. After a few deep breaths, he carefully released his hold on your hair. His hand drifted to your cheek and he used his thumb to wipe away the stray tears that still lingered on your skin. Then, he guided your chin upwards so you he could fully see your face. He took in the sight, wishing he could sear it into his memory.

“Such a good girl,” he hummed, eyes flickering down to your hand between your legs. “Do you like being a little whore for me?” You watched him, wide-eyed and unsure of how to answer. You felt frozen, stopping your hands movement completely, wondering knowing if he wanted a verbal answer or if it was a trick question. His hand cupped your chin, settling it in the space between his thumb and index finger. When you didn’t respond, his fingers tightened against your cheeks, trying to pry a response from you. “Answer me,” his voice was low, but demanding.

“Yes,” you nodded against his grip.

“Yes, what?” You studied him for a moment, trying to pinpoint his desire. When you caught his eye, the answer seemed to come to you with ease.

“Yes, Sir.” You said, confidently. Although he wanted to keep his demeanour firm, you couldn’t help but notice that the corners of his lips upturned ever so slightly. You could both feel the connection; how easy it was to read each other, how easy it was to please each other.

“That’s it, sweetheart.” He muttered, loosening his grip on your face. “You liked it so much you couldn’t even wait for me to touch you?” Redness sprawled across your face at the question, suddenly embarrassed at the act of desperation. You quickly moved your hand, but the feeling of shame remained. “Don’t be shy, angel. S’okay.” He assured you, settling the unease that had risen within you. “Why don’t you let me help you out?” Your eyes fluttered closed, already imagining the feeling of him between your thighs again. After the thought passed, you thought it best to answer before he could change his mind.

“Yes, please.” You breathed. He let go of your face, reaching for you hand. You accepted the gesture and let him help you off the ground, noticing the ache in your knees from the hard floor.

He guided you to the couch once more, never straying from you as you sat down. He didn’t speak another word before he sunk down to his knees. He settled between your legs so naturally, like it was where he had always belonged and he’d been grievously suffering from homesickness. He hooked his arms under your thighs, pulling you to the edge of the cushion as he guided your legs over his shoulders. As he placed soft kisses to the sensitive skin of your thighs, you felt your upper body melt back into the sofa. You were excited for the next activity, but something about the gentle touch was soothingly sweet. “What have you done to me?” He mumbled, but you could feel him smiling against your skin. You reached down, tangling your fingers in his hair.

“What do you mean?” You asked, tone breathy from the closeness of his mouth to your heat.

“You’ve got me on my knees for you.” He let out a small chuckle, fingers grazing over your hips as he continued to litter marks over your thighs. “You didn’t even have to try.” You swallowed hard at the statement, realizing how quick and willing he was to abide to the change. You were both aware he was still in control, but it seemed as if he’d give you whatever you wanted with the snap of your fingers, now.

“I like it,” you smiled, the knowledge of his soft spot for you swelling your ego slightly. You knew he liked it too, even if he’d never admit it.

“I’d stay here all day if I could.” He confessed.

“Yeah?” You pressed.

“Mhm,” he hummed. “Waited all day, couldn’t stop thinking about how fucking good you taste.” With that, he brought his mouth to your cunt, not willing to wait for any type of response. You let a gasp out, an involuntary response to the feeling of his tongue on you again. His hands were talented beyond measure, but his mouth held power like no other; you were certain that if heaven was real, whatever was waiting for you beyond this lifetime was barely comparable to the euphoria Jake bestowed upon you. He ran his tongue through you, finally getting a taste of what he’d been doing to you. He let out a hum of appreciation, the small sound instantly sending a wave of pleasure through you.

You let your eyes flutter closed, enjoying the sensation as much as possible. When he’d gone down on you the first time, you believed there could be no greater pleasure. Now, you knew you were wrong. Your sobriety allowed you to fully immerse yourself in the moment, and it was better than anything you thought you felt the night prior. He started slow, taking his time really appreciate you. As much as he was pleasuring you, he was enjoying himself, too. Once he satisfied his need to tease you, he pulled back for a moment. “All of this for me, beautiful?” He asked, a small sigh sounding from him. You looked down, eyes casting over his face and soaking up his expression. He looked as if he’d just been gifted the opportunity of a lifetime to have you like this.

“All for you, baby.” You agreed, breathless just at the sight of him. His eyes fluttered closed at the sound of such a beautiful statement. He seemed as though he wanted to speak again, but couldn’t resist the temptation of what was in front of him. He pulled you down a little more, leaning forward to meet the motion. His tongue found your clit with an expert precision, like it was second nature to him. The warmth of his mouth mixed with the feeling of his fingers searing into your skin was overwhelming. You’d never admit it to him, but he already had you on the brink of an orgasm.

Without moving his mouth from you, he freed one of his arms from under your leg and guided it further to the side. The change in position couldn’t even take your mind off of the spell he was casting on you with his tongue. As if he thought he wasn’t already doing enough, he slipped his middle and ring finger inside you, gently curling his fingers upward as he did so. A guttural moan sounded from your lips, completely impossible to hold back. Your fingers tightened against the roots of his hair, a silent show of appreciation for his effort. The sound only seemed to drive him further as he placed his lips around your clit. As his fingers pumped into you, keeping the same momentum, he ever so slightly suctioned his cheeks.

With the curl of his fingers and the growing pressure on your clit, you were having a hard time keeping yourself quiet. Every movement seemed to coax another sound from you, in which he used for more motivation. He knew exactly how he was making you feel, and he was determined to continue doing so. He was encouraging you with his actions, and if he could, he’d be giving you all the praise in the world. To him, there was no better sound than the ones you were making for him. The knot forming in your belly was growing tighter by the second, both of you certain that your climax would come soon. In his true generous nature, he couldn’t find it within himself to deprive you of the feeling.

Within a few seconds of steady stimulation from both his hand and his mouth, you were coming undone below him. Profanities were slurred into the air, your grip on him tightened, and all of your muscles grew tense. Your chest heaved with shaky breaths you so badly wanted to take, but were struggling to find. The orgasm was intense, one that topped any other that came before. It was long, drawn out even further by his unwillingness to slow down. By the time the peak had passed, you had no time to recover before being thrown into another, more intense phase. He’d let up on the pressure on your clit, but his tongue had returned at a steady rhythm. His fingers were still pumping into you, hitting the sweet spot that he had found and refused to give up.

The normal post-orgasm overstimulation was quite unlike this one; it was unpleasant, mostly, and would usually cause a person to shy away from touch. The feeling that came over you while he continued was new, intense and searing through every nerve in your body, but not uncomfortable. The gentle nature of his movements were pleasurable in a whole new sense. He barely had to work for another climax. You thought that maybe it had to do with how badly your body had been craving him, how desperate you had been for his touch. It was the logical answer, but the more pressing idea was hard to overlook. The one that told you Jake was just that good. That whatever entity controlled him, or whatever entity he was, could make the most painful situations seem pleasant.

His ability to pleasure you without knowing anything about your body was unfathomable, like he’d been born solely for the purpose. Every touch was exhilarating, ever glance or expression was laced with deeper meaning, and every word was coated with a type of emotion you couldn’t fake. As much as you wanted to believe that he was possessed by the devil, you had to find a more logical explanation, but one that came to mind was much less of a comfort than the initial belief. As he guided you into another orgasm with the grace of an angel, your heart ached at the newest revelation your mind had presented.

Jake knew you so well, could pinpoint every lie and pick up on any hidden emotion, knew exactly how to please you, and knew exactly how to draw you in for one simple reason; he’d been watching you, the same way you had been watching Sam. He studied every minor detail that nobody else cared to look for, and instead of you noticing his distant admiration, you were caught up in loving his brother, who in turn was doing the same to you. The twisted nature of the situation had not begun the night before because of too much vodka and a game of beer pong. The situation had been begging to be resolved for a long time, the universe imploring someone to make a move, just to end the tireless circle of suffering. Jake was in love with you, and you were in love with Sam, and nobody picked up on the sorrow until you had all had enough.

You tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t true, that you hadn’t hurt Jake the same way his brother had been hurting you, but it was impossible to convince yourself otherwise. He even said it himself, before you found yourself in a mess of tangled limbs and unspoken truths. He liked you, and it hadn’t begun when you partnered up for a friendly match of pong. It had been blooming for a long time. The lesson you’d been dreading with Sam had manifested itself into one big lecture, now coming from every angle. And, as everyone knows, the karmic tendencies of the universe had never been forgiving. Instead of learning about what the world intended for you to know, you ignored it until it was too late. Your karma was exactly where you were in that moment; still in love with Sam, but undoubtedly falling for Jake, too. Whether that be in lust or love, you didn’t know. Instead of making the easy choice and facing up to the facts when they first arose, you now had a long road of difficult decisions ahead, and you didn’t want to let go of either feeling.

Before you could dwell any deeper about your profound regrets and emotions, a jolt of pleasure ran through you, stronger than the ones previous. Through the overstimulation, Jake had pried yet another orgasm from you at the most malicious time possible.

“F-fuck!” You expelled, head falling back deeper into the cushion. You were clenching around his hand, the burning in your stomach unwilling to settle. Your legs were shaking, hand keeping an iron grip on his hair while you cried out his name. He tapered his speed, slowing down so you could catch your breath for a moment.

“That’s it, angel.” His voice vibrated through you, making every bit of pleasure just a little more intense. “Such a good girl. Doing so good for me.” The words, the orgasm, the caring aura he was radiating were all more than enough to make a person fall in love, but emotions were the last thing you wanted to think about. After only a day, you were exhausted over stressing about the future and refusing to enjoy the present moment. So, without any fear of what was to come next, you leaned forward, pulling his head towards you at the same time, and brought him into a kiss. It was needy, sloppy, and not really well executed, but you didn’t care. You wanted access to every inch of him, finally submitting to the part of you begging to be consumed by him.

The devil doesn’t bargain; merely coerces you to see things his way, and he wanted you to believe that the worst decisions felt the best.

Jake broke the kiss, quickly moving to the spot beside you on the couch. You didn’t have time to process the change before he was scooping his arm under you and pulling you on top of him. You let your legs settle on either side of him, content with the new position. He guided your face back down to his, already yearning for another kiss. As your mouths were connected, he used one of his hands to lightly tap your ass, imploring you to sit up a little more. You obliged, feeling him reach under you to line himself up with your entrance. Instead of pulling you down onto him, he pulled back from the kiss.

“You okay?” He checked in, a bit breathless.

“Yeah,” you nodded, no promise ever holding as much truth as that one. He waited a moment, just to give you enough time to change your mind if you wanted to. When he was met with a staggering silence and a hopeful gleam in your eye, he used his hands to guide your hips down on his cock.

When he bottomed out inside you, you both let out a mutual sigh of relief. The feeling was long overdue, and you were growing impatient with the lack of movement almost instantly. He took one of his hands and cupped your cheek, his fingers tangling in the hair that was hanging over your face. He let his thumb dance over the soft skin, silently begging you to look at him. Your eyes drifted towards his face, but you almost wished they hadn’t. The expression he adorned was far more alluring than anything you had ever seen. It was so beautiful that you wished you could live in that moment for the rest of your life. It was excruciating.

Captivated in his face, you slowly began to rock your hips, giving both of you the pleasure you had been craving. The hand that remained on your hip tightened, fingers digging into your skin in the most delicious way. He moved his other hand to the back of your neck, pulling you towards him. You rested your forehead on his, basking in the intimacy. Although the softness was unexpected, you were thoroughly enjoying being so close to him. You steadied yourself with a palm on his shoulder, your other hand clasped around his arm that was holding you to him. “Does that feel good, angel?” He asked, voice low and full of lust. “This is what you wanted?”

“God, yes.” You groaned, the feeling of him inside you amplified even further by the sound of his voice. With every roll of your hips, he used extra force to bring you down onto him, just for an added effect of pleasure. The tip of his cock was hitting your cervix as you moved, making up for the slow pace by intensifying the sensation.

“I could fuck you all day,” he muttered, tightening his grip on you a bit more. “All of those pretty noises, those pretty faces… you’re driving me crazy, y/n.” He confessed, taking a sharp intake of breath as you sunk down on him again. “Feel so fucking good.” His hand snaked down to your back, pulling your body closer to him. You straightened yourself up, bracing your hand on the back of the couch for better support.

Your chest was now eye level with him, and in his true nature, he couldn’t pass up an opportunity. He ghosted a few kisses over your collarbones, gently sucking marks into the delicate skin, and even leaving a gentle bite when the moment permitted. He worked his way down to your breasts, pulling a hardened nipple into his mouth. The new sensation was overwhelming, making your eyelids flutter closed and your head to fall back in bliss. Being loved by Jake in any way was blissful, and how you were feeling was reflective of the thoughts that had already been swarming your head. Before you could succumb to any more ponderings, he gently bit down on the nipple he had been focusing on, causing you to let out a sharp gasp of shock. You could feel him smiling against you as you did so, forcing an eye-roll from you. He was still an asshole, but it was oddly charming. You couldn’t find it within yourself to be annoyed with him.

Instead, you upped your antics, rolling your hips faster and coming down on him harder. The new pace made it impossible to hold back any noises, the room filled with slurs of moans and the sound of skin on skin. You could tell he was enjoying it, too. The low groans that were muted by his mouth on you only drove you to work harder. Knowing you were pleasing him was orgasm-inducing. His fingertips were searing into your skin, his hold equivalent to that of someone who was taking life-saving measures. You were both worked up, your bodies begging you to succumb to the orgasms you so desperately wanted. Neither of you were willing to end such a fantastic moment so soon, one that had been bound to happen for a length of time. You wanted it to last forever, even if it was impossible. The thought of living in the cloud of bliss he was consuming you with was a comfort, almost as if nothing could ever go wrong as long as he never left.

“Baby,” he breathed, making an attempt to slow your hips but failing miserably. As much as he wanted to hold back, he was too far gone to slow down. “Gotta slow down, m’gonna cum.” He warned. The burning in the pit of your stomach reached a new level, his words only driving you to go faster. You knew it wouldn’t be long before you came undone, too. When you showed no sign of stopping, his head fell back into the couch cushion in a show of defeat. “Y/n.” He let out another warning, but it was too late. With a few more seconds of continuous movement, you had reached your peak. Your fingers grasped at him, holding yourself up as you cried his name. Your climax seemed to break the willpower he possessed. He brought both hands to your hips, muttering a few curses as he came, too.

“Fuck, Jake.” You moaned, trying to ride the high for as long as you could. As your hips came to a stop, you expected a whirlwind of comfort, for him to hold you close and enjoy the bare intimacy of the post-orgasm low. Instead, it was as if a new man were below you. In one swift motion, he shifted and roughly laid you down on the couch without ever withdrawing. As if it were instinct, you wrapped your legs around him, an invitation for whatever he was doing. When you caught sight of his eyes, you realized the soft Jake you’d seen previously had dissipated. The persona was replaced by a feral look, sex-crazed and angry with his loss of control.

“You don’t know how to fucking listen?” He growled, looking over your face for a hint of discomfort. Your features held shock, but no doubt that you wanted to continue. He used a free hand to arrange a throw pillow by your head, ensuring your comfortability despite his annoyance. “I told you, sweetheart, you don’t get to call the shots.” He reminded.

“M’sorry, sir.” You squeaked, slightly embarrassed that you’d pissed him off so badly, but when you looked deep enough into his eyes, you could tell his facade was just as such: an act. He wasn’t willing to walk away from you so soon, orgasm or not. You hadn’t really derailed any plans, because he’d already been certain he’d fuck you for as long as he possibly could.

“Are you?” He pried, supporting his weight on the cushion below you. The new position was delightful; he had never looked more ethereal than when he was on top of you. “Or are you just saying it because you want me to let you cum again?”

“I mean it.” You promised, completely entranced by his beauty. He was having a hard time keeping the tough exterior up, watching you look at him with so much admiration. Behind the act, he was looking at you just the same.

“Prove it, then. Be a good girl for me, okay?” He said. “Can you do that, angel?” You gave a nod, but realized your mistake before he could chastise you for it.

“Yes, I can, sir.” You promised.

“I know you can, baby.” He hummed. “You know your colours?” You watched him for a moment, waiting for him to speak again. “Green means you’re okay, yellow means slow down, red means stop.”

“Okay.” You agreed.

“If you can’t talk, tap me twice.” He said. Your eyebrows furrowed, questions blooming in your mind more by the second. Before you had a chance to ask any, he withdrew and slammed his hips back into you with a force that made your head spin. You let an involuntary yelp out, shocked at his suddenness, but he paid no mind to it. He was already focused on keeping his strength and his pace the same, not worried about anything else unless you were to tell him to stop.

A guttural groan sounded from you, the new angle he was hitting sending waves of pleasure through every nerve in your body. You were certain that there was nobody in the world who could make you feel that good, because you’d never experienced anything like it before. The noises you were making were filthy, absolutely sinful, and he was loving every second of it. Once you had grown used to his thrusts, he used his free hand to reach down between your bodies and find your clit again. He did so with ease, barely even struggling to keep his hand in place as he moved his hips. The added stimulation was enough to push you close to the edge again, and he barely had to work for it. Then again, he barely had to work for any of the orgasms so far. You thought, if there was such a thing as an expert at sex, he would take the crown.

You were already sensitive from the previous climaxes, making his job that much easier. He couldn’t help but let a cocky smirk grace his face, knowing he already had you where he wanted you to be. Your eyes were closed, the pleasure too much to keep them open and focused on anything. Your stomach was burning, head spinning, and lungs aching from the inability to catch your breath. “Not yet, baby.” He warned, knowing you were teetering on the edge.

“I-I can’t,” you stuttered, hoping he wouldn’t make you hold it back.

“You can.” He snapped, not letting up on either of his movements.

“Jake,” you whined, not wanting to disobey the order but knowing you might not be able to control it.

“Shut up.” He hissed, applying a bit more pressure to your clit with his thumb. You clenched your teeth, a violent growl sounding from your chest at your frustration. He couldn’t expect to keep up his pace and not let you cum; the two did not coincide with each other. His request was unreasonable, but you tried your best to comply. You bit down on the inside of your lip, a desperate attempt to distract yourself from the orgasm that was so desperate to be had. It worked for a moment, the pain taking away your focus from his antics. Next was breathing, you focused your breaths to be steady, internally coaxing yourself through the process.

After a few agonizing moments, you were a mess. All of the coping techniques were useless, and you were seconds away from cumming. “Jake, I can’t.” You said again, more serious this time. He knew you weren’t joking; the redness of your cheeks and the glisten of sweat on your forehead was a dead giveaway. When he didn’t respond, you gave up hope that you could push through.

“Cum for me, baby.” He demanded. The four words were the most beautiful ones you’d ever heard. In a mess of moans that resembled more like screams, you came undone once more. Your legs locked around him tighter than before, limiting his movements as you submitted to the pleasure. As you came down, he slowly removed his thumb from you, but didn’t slow his hips. The loss of contact made it easier to deal with the overstimulation from the sensitivity. “Does that feel better?” He crooned, but his tone did not match his movement. His soft voice was an oxymoron to the power behind his hips.

“Mhm,” you managed to give him a sound of agreement, but your brain was only focused on the feeling of him inside you. It felt fantastic, but was beginning to border on pain as continued at the relentless speed. Even so, it was a phenomenal experience, and you never wanted him to stop.

“Such a pretty little whore,” he managed out amidst a moan of his own, clearly getting himself off to the state you were in. Another groan tore through you, the only way you could express your delight at his filthy nickname. Words were unable to form in your brain, any complex thought completely disappeared and was only replaced with his name. His existence was suffocating, but you loved it. It was so wonderful that you almost felt the need to thank him, even if it was slowly killing you. “Give me one more, baby. You can do it.” He attempted to sound demanding, but he was pleading with you. You were surprised he had the stamina to continue so steadily, but you knew he was getting close to another orgasm, too.

“I don’t know,” you cried, genuinely believing you had no more to give him. He took the hand that had been anchored beside you, and slowly trailed his fingers up your body. He focused on your nipple for a moment, gently pinching it and rolling it between his fingers. The feeling caused your or arch your back off the couch, allowing him deeper access to you if it was even possible. He moved on from your breast, but not after palming it and gently squeezing it in his hand. He had been so focused on pleasing you that you couldn’t even chastise him for it; the simple joy he got from the action allowed you to look past the boyish nature.

“You can, sweet girl.” He encouraged. The change from the term sweetheart was new, but very charming. The adoration laced within the words was enough to ignite the fire in you again. His hand drifted upwards still, landing gently on your neck. The touch was welcomed, but he was cautious about your comfort. “Colour.”

“Green.” You assured him.

“Remember what I said?”

“Tap twice.” He gave a nod, happy with your answer. With that, his fingers began to close on your neck, slowly but surely cutting off the blood supply to your head.

“Come on, angel.” He gave the small statement of motivation, hoping it would help you get there. Part of it was because he was desperate to see you cum again, finding it more addictive than any substance. The other part was because he was close, and he refused to give in until he was certain he’d done everything he could to please you. Your head was spinning, not dangerously enough to cause concern, but enough to heighten the insatiable fire coursing through your veins. “I need it, baby. Just one more.” He begged, throwing the dominant tone out the window.

Your heart was pounding against your chest, vision slightly blurry and mind foggy. The only thing keeping you in the realm of reality was his dulcet voice and beautiful words. His face, although shining with sweat and hair sticking to the skin, was one of the most enchanting things you had ever seen. Even if you could, you wouldn’t be able to deny him of the wish. Even as fucked out as you were, there was this small part of your brain that was screaming at you to give him whatever he wanted. It was the devil, maybe, or it was just your heart giving in to the generosity he’d shown you in the last few hours. Whatever it was, you were determined to please him, and it wasn’t hard to do.

He tightened his hold a little more, the small action enough to send you spiralling over the edge again. You let in a choked breath, trying to fill your burning lungs with a hint of air as your legs shook and your eyes squeezed shut. “That’s it,” he groaned. “That’s my girl.” He held his grip until he reached his peak, too, and you both rode the high together. He gradually let go of the pressure he was holding on with, allowing the blood flow to resume and bring you back to earth. Once you had relaxed against him, your mind was able to produce thought again. Your chest slowed, finally suffice with the amount of air in your lungs. You opened your eyes, immediately met with the sight of his smiling face.

You couldn’t help but give one back, finding his joy incredibly infectious. He leaned down, placing a kiss on your lips. You reached up, pulling him closer to you. He slowly let himself down, resting on top of you. You were a mess of sweaty bodies and tangled limbs, but completely content with the position and comforted by the intimacy. He was still resting inside of you, not caring about the mess you’d both made. He just wanted to be close to you, and you did, too. He broke the kiss, instead letting his lips trail over any available body part. You quickly realized that out of every version of Jake you knew, aftercare Jake was your favourite. Every movement was laced with care and love, making sure that every crude action or word was known to be an act. Your body was exhausted, your mind was, too, but you were more than willing to stay awake all night just to be able to continue experiencing the affection.

“Glad I stayed?” He asked, smiling against the skin of your collarbone. You rolled your eyes, but let out a small laugh.

“I think you just need me to want you.” You joked, but he didn’t laugh.

“Yeah, I do.” He agreed, looking up at you through strands of messy hair. “Of course I do.” Your stomach sank, rattled by the blunt honesty. “It’s the best feeling in the whole world.”

No devils advocate for the sinful desire could overpower the guilty conscience that took over. Jake felt the same for you as you did for his brother, and it was gut wrenching to realize that no matter what destination the road was leading to, it would still be painful for someone. As certain as you were for your love for Sam, you couldn’t deny the fact that you were falling for Jake, fast and incomprehensibly hard. In attempt to ward the thoughts away, you pulled him into your chest again. You wrapped him in a hug filled with emotion, an apology hidden deep within the action. You held him there for long enough that it made the revelations disappear.

Wake up in the morning,

see your sunrise loves to go down

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