#definitely don’t want the boyfriends to be caregivers again but it could be fun to get Lo & Ro to help V rn

[pattonsfam-ily]

im kinda slipping but Devin isnt home rn this is not fun -virgil

[logical-little-lies]

Under The Stars- Little Vlogs (Chapter Ten)

A/N: Again, sorry that I only update this every month or so. I like to think that the chapters tend to be higher quality when I just wait for inspiration to strike for this, that's what seems to work best for this story. Just so you know, there's no little sides in this one, it's romance-centric. I think the next chapter will be agere centric, maybe with little vee since we haven't gotten that in a while?

anyways, this is also kinda the start of the end? I see this being fifteen chapters-ish overall, since there's only two actual plot points I have planned before I wrap it up, and I will be stuffing fillers and fluff between that. Thanks for sticking around so long! I can't wait to see what you guys think of this chapter! It about 3300 words without the authors note+summary.

--

Chapter Summary: Logan takes the other three on a date that will change their lives forever. He asks a very important question that could wind up putting a label on their four-way unofficial thing. Everyone was quite relieved to hear his words, if they were honest.

They've been waiting for it forever.

--

"Hey, nerd. You should totally kiss me right now."

Logan glanced up from his computer with an amused smirk, looking over at the tanner man across the couch. Roman tapped away on the screen of his phone. "Should I really?" he questioned, challenging him.

"Mhm," Roman nodded, placing his elbow on his knee and his chin it his palm, leaning forward. "You totally should."

"Why should I, princey? Convince me." Logan looked back down to his laptop as if he was uninterested, offending the man clad in his red t-shirt.

"Because I'm hot and want a kiss?" he raised his eyebrow hopefully.

"Solid argument. You definitely made a few great points," Logan said teasingly, closing the computer and leaning forward to set it on the coffee table. He got up, placing himself next to Roman on the couch. He softly pulled his arm from under his chin, using his fingers to lift his chin up. Roman had to turn a bit to face him. Logan pulled him into a soft, but firm kiss. "Was that good?" Logan asked, tilting his head softly.

Roman nodded, humming. "Yep, definitely." Logan chuckled, getting up to grab his laptop before sitting back next to Roman.

--

"Y'know, you get like, really giggly when someone flirts with you?" Virgil asked, teasing Patton, who he had his arm wrapped around. "And blushy," Virgil paused, reaching over and cupping the side of his face. "And cute." he pulled him closer.

He kissed him softly, and as he pulled away, he muttered out a whisper. "And absolutely beautiful. Though you're always like that."

When did Virgil get so flirty? He had definitely spent way to much time about Roman and Logan.

Patton giggled, blushing and looking down. He bit at his lip. He spoke after a moment of silence. "Vee, we've been on a lot of dates and stuff..and you and Roman practically live here. When do you think we'll officially become 'boyfriends'?" he asked.

Virgil faltered, not quite knowing how to reply to his curiosity. "I-i'm sorry to be so straightforward or whatever...but Logan was talking about it the other day and I just couldn't stop thinking about it-" Patton stumbled over his words, regretting bringing up the topic.

"No,no, no. You're okay. It's a valid question," Virgil assured, giving him a soft look. "It'll happen eventually, I think. Roman and I like you guys to much to pass up on the opportunity. But I couldn't tell you exactly when." He admitted.

"Oh..." Patton trailed off. "Hopefully it'll be soon."

"I hope so too." Virgil agreed, letting Patton lean into him.

Maybe, it'd be a lot sooner then they thought.

--

"Is another surprise playdate to get us to regress?" Roman questioned, messing with his hair as Logan adjusted his shirt in the mirror.

"Nope. It's just a surprise date. You'll see where we're going when we get there." Logan spoke simply, picking up his phone off of the bathroom counter. Roman dramatically sighed.

Logan gave him a look for the attitude, which immediately shut him up. Then, Roman pouted. "Hey! Stop doing the caregiver thing when I'm not little!" he whined.

"I'm not doing any 'caregiver thing'!" Logan defended. Roman rolled his eyes before jumping into an explanation.

"You give looks and have a specific voice that you use on us when we're little, and that there was one of them!"

"I do not have a caregiver voice..." Logan seemed confused, following Roman out of the bathroom.

"You so do." Roman stated as Logan flicked off the bathroom light behind them.

"Okay, whatever. Go get in the car," he ordered. Roman left without another word.

--

Just like when Logan had taken the boys to the park, everyone bugged him about where they were going, trying to figure out what he could possibly have planned. They managed to get nothing out of him until they were literally pulling up.

"Surprise!" Logan said, putting the car in park.

The other three looked around, trying to see where they were. Virgil's eyes landed on the sign of the place they had arrived to.

Logan had taken them back to the skating rink. The same one where they had their first date.

"Yay! I love skating!" Virgil cheered, rushing to unbuckle himself.

Patton and Roman seemed to realize where they were from the front seat, their faces breaking out into smiles as well. Logan always had a way of planning pleasant surprises for them. Ones that reminded them that he paid attention, that he knew what they liked and what made them happy.

They reminded him that he cared.

"I thought you'd like it," Logan smiled, unbuckling himself as well. "You all ready?" he asked.

After three quick nods, he cracked open his door and stepped out.

This was the start of a very important night.

--

They all had lots of fun at the rink. Virgil and Logan were improving their skating skills, too! Though, they still had to hold someone else's hand to ensure that they wouldn't fall over. By the end of their session, they had only fallen a handful of times collectively.

"I beat you!" Patton bragged, holding up his prize of a few pieces of candy. He could only get so much with his tickets from the arcade, but he cared more about the victory then the prize. Virgil rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Pat. No need to brag," Virgil walked next to him as they crossed the parking lot.

"Someone's just mad that he losttt," Roman jumped in on their conversation, joining in on the 'let's tease Virgil' game. Virgil crossed his arms, shooting an annoyed glare to the other two. Somehow, it was absolutely adorable.

"Boys, stop teasing Virgil. You're going to upset him," Logan told them, causing Roman and Patton to shut up quickly as they approached the car.

"We were only playing!" Patton assured, opening the door and climbing in.

"Yeah, only playing!" Roman agreed.

"Still, it's not nice," Logan repeated, shutting the driver's side door once he was in the car. Virgil had taken the passengers seat, still seemingly grumpy about the teasing.

"You're using your daddy voice," Roman said, distracting him from the previous topic.

"I don't have a 'Daddy voice'." Logan scoffed. Virgil immediately dropped his pouting to give Logan a look that read 'you're wrong'. Patton and Roman held matching looks of disagreement.

Logan gasped, "I don't!" he defended.

"Sureeee," Virgil spoke in a very sarcastic tone, bucking himself up and leaning back in the seat. Logan rolled his eyes, going silent as he started the car and headed towards their next destination. After a while, Patton realized they weren't heading home.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere." Logan replied, making a turn.

"Very helpful, Freckle Face." Roman looked out the window, trying to mentally locate where they were at and where they could possibly be headed. He only vaguely recognized where they were, and he had no idea where they were going.

"It's 9 o'clock, what's open?" Virgil asked, turning in his seat to look back at the other two. Patton shrugged.

"We're not going to a store or restaurant. We're going to a location." Logan corrected.

"Like an outside thing? Logan, it's so dark out," Roman whined. It seemed like he was always complaining, but Logan always found a way to shut him up.

"I know. It's kinda needed for what we we're doing." Logan said, making a turn into a small, empty parking lot. There was a large circle of grass, surrounded by trees in most directions. The parking lot felt out of place in this natural area.

There were a few large rocks that you could climb and sit on, some of them stacking against each other to create tall platforms. It was hard to tell whether they were there naturally, or if the rocks were put there specifically to climb and lay on. Either way, you could tell that they've been there for ages.

"We're stargazing!" Virgil said, his eyes widening as he looked around.

"There's blankets and snacks in the trunk. I say we set up on the big rock," Logan said, pointing to the largest one. It was flat on the top, and the side was diagonal and jagged, creating a set of natural steps to the top. It was wide and long, and it looked sturdy, so the four of them could easily lay up there and watch the stars.

Most of the rocks sat near the circular tree line, so there was still a huge open space in the middle. "Virgil and Patton, help me with the stuff. Roman, see if you can climb up there."

Everyone nodded, jumping out of the car and following his orders. Just like usual.

Virgil and Patton stood on either side of Logan, letting him open the trunk before they grabbed an item. They went to run off, but Logan grabbed one of each of their hands, pulling them back.

"Did you need me to carry somethin- Oh!" Virgil's talking was interrupted when Logan pulled him close, kissing him. "Hi," Virgil giggled when he pulled away, looking up at him with a light blush.

"Thank you for helping me."

Virgil nodded, smiling. "Anytime."

"Do I get a thank you kiss?" Patton asked, causing Logan to avert his attention from Virgil to Patton.

"Why of course," Logan assured, before looking back to Virgil. "Go join Roman on the rock, we'll be there in a second." Virgil nodded, walking off.

Patton stepped closer, standing on his toes to peck Logan's lips. The kiss got deeper really quickly, but Logan cut it off. "I wanted to ask you something..." Logan began. Patton hummed, tilting his head.

Logan took a breath, taking the blankets in Patton's arms away and setting it in the trunk, before taking Patton's hands in his. "You're my boyfriend...and I care about you so much," Logan started.

Patton chuckled awkwardly, "You aren't breaking up with me on a date, are you?" he joked. Logan quickly shook his head, smiling.

"No, of course not. That'd be stupid of me, I love you...but I did wanna ask, how would you feel if I asked Virgil and Roman to be my boyfriends too? I can care about all three of you," he squeezed his hands is. Patton smiled widely, getting rid of any doubt in Logan's mind that he wouldn't be open to it.

"Is that why you brought us here? To ask them to officially date you?"

Logan nodded softly, confirming his thoughts. "I'm completely okay with that. I've been wanting us all to officially date forever, but no one seemed to want to start the conversations. You can ask them to be your boyfriends if I can ask them to be mine."

Logan nodded again, now smiling too. "Let's do this then." Patton stepped away from him, holding out his hand. They intertwined fingers, and Patton used his empty arm to grab the blankets before Logan closed the trunk. They walked around the car, heading towards the rock they saw Virgil and Roman holding hands on, wishing for the best possible outcome.

Hopefully, by the time they headed home, they'd have each other and  the two handsome men sitting atop the rock.

--

"Oh, are you scared?"

Roman spoke to Virgil softly, sitting on the top of the rock with his legs hanging off the edge. There was a lot of room on the surface, and he was sitting on the edge, where he could fall. He looked down to his emo boyfriend, who stood at the bottom of the side with the "stairs".

"A little," Virgil admitted, looking up. It was a pretty high structure. Virgil bit his lip, glancing up nervously at Roman.

"Okay, can you see all the steps?" Roman asked. Virgil looked up the angled side of the rock, nodding a bit. "I want you to shoulder the snack bag, and then when I count to five, I want you to place you hands on two steps and place your feet on the lowest ones."

Virgil followed his instructions, stepping on the lowest two steps, one at a time, once Roman finished counting down. He steadied himself using two slightly higher ones. "Now, take a deep breath, and when I finish counting down, take another step up. Don't look down."

Roman continued to guide him trough like this, making him stop to take deep breaths, reminding him that he was okay. Once he was high enough, he held out his hand and helped him finish climbing up. Virgil sat next to him, hesitantly dangling his feet over the edge and intertwining his fingers with Roman's, holding his hand.

Just as Virgil got up there, Logan and Patton appeared from behind the trunk of the car. Virgil only thought to wonder for a moment what took them so long, before brushing it off.

--

Patton seemed to have no problem with the height, standing on the rock without an issue as he laid out the blankets side by side. Virgil had an impulse thought continuously telling him to 'stay low', as if standing up would make him fall over the edge.

"What snacks did you bring?" Patton questioned, as Logan started going through the bag.

"A drink for each of us, some candy for each of us, and then some chips." Logan replied, going through the bag. He set a bag of dark chocolates farthest to the left, on top of the blanket.

He was using the candies to mark their spots. That one was Roman's. He set a box of Nerds next to it. Then a bag of sour gummy worms. Then some normal gummy bears. That was Roman, Logan, Virgil, and Patton, left to right.

No one fought the spots he picked for them, moving to sit on the bankets in front of their snacks. "Can you distribute the drinks while I grab the pillows?" Logan asked.

"That's a huge responsibility," Roman joked. Logan waited for an actual answer, crossing his arms. Roman laughed, "I'll do it."

After snack distribution, every one got settled, eating their candy and talking away. It was pretty dark already, and you could already see some stars just by looking up at the night sky. But it wasn't about the star gazing. It was about the moment, and the time they spent together.

They sat side by side, their legs hanging over the edge, all holding the hand of the person next to them. Roman held Logan's, Logan held Roman and Virgil's, and so on. "How do you find places like this?" Roman asked, popping a chocolate in his mouth.

"Pretty places?" Logan questioned, raising his eyebrow and looking to the man next to him. Roman nodded a bit. Virgil and Patton just watched their interaction. Logan sighed, before speaking in a voice that signaled some form of nostalgia. "Back in high school, I did photography for fun. I used to run around and find cool places like this, and just sit in silence for a while  Then, I'd take some cool pictures, before moving onto the next spot." he explained.

"Is that why you're so good with a camera?" Patton pondered. Logan shrugged.

"I did videography too," he told them, only confirming Patton's thoughts. Patton and Virgil reached into each other's bags on sync, taking a piece of the others candy without asking. They really didn't need too, it wasn't like they'd say no. Of course, they didn't mean to sync up like they did, crossing arms with each other.

They continued talking, swinging their legs over the sides of the rock. They shared stories, even personal ones. Nostalgia filled the air as they learned more and more about each other, talking for hours. Logan didn't know how he was gonna start the conversation. When he was gonna ask the big question.

Do you wanna be boyfriends?

At some point, they moved from the edge of the rock, to the blankets, all cuddling close as they looked up at the sky, having finished their snacks long ago. "I'm so glad I met you," Virgil told them. "All of you. I'm glad we ran into each other when I first started working at the mall," he started, lifting his head to look over at Roman.

"I'm glad that Patton led me to you," he smiled at Logan. "And I'm so glad I messed you on tumblr all those years ago. You all mean so much to me."

Virgil didn't just say stuff like that all the time. That was him openly displaying vulnerable emotions, and the others knew that that was sometimes difficult for him. "I'm glad I met you too, Vee. And you guys, too," Logan looked between the other three, smiling. All of them were pretty tired at this point, but also wide awake at the same time.

It was like they were sleepy, but the night felt to memorable to miss out on.

"I care about you guys a lot. And I was thinking..." he paused, taking a breath, looking up at the sky. Virgil squeezed his hand, not exactly knowing what was happening but figuring he needed the encouragement. It helped Logan a lot. "We've been sort of experimenting with the idea of 'us' for a while. All four of us together...and it feels amazing. Perfect, really, with you three. It just works, and I don't wanna miss out on that."

Logan never looked away from the stars above until he finished talking. "I want us to be official. Like, the four of us all together. What do you think?"

"As in, we're all boyfriends?" Roman asked, sitting up and pulling away from the cuddle pile. Logan nodded in affirmation.

"If you want," he replied, sitting up as well. He stretched, eyeing the other man with curiosity.

"I'm in if he is," Roman confirmed, looking over at Virgil, who held a loving look in his eyes. The purple-haired boy sat up, hugging Logan's side before speaking in a definite tone. A voice that assured that he was confident in what he was saying. You rarely heard that coming from Virgil.

"I've always been in. Like Logan said, we're too perfect together to pass on it."

The three looked to Patton, who quickly replied. "Are you expecting me to say no? Three hot boyfriends is too good of an offer to pass up."

His words caused everyone to laugh, the sounds of happiness mixing and flowing through the air, lifting the mood. "Who's the hottest out of us?" Roman pondered. "I vote Logan." he added, without hesitation.

"Logan, most definitely." Virgil agreed.

"I feel like as your original boyfriend I should be offended but...look at him," Roman motioned to the attractive nerd in question. "You're only stating the truth." he playfully sighed. Logan's cheeks were a bit red. It was fairly rare that they made Logan flustered. He always kept his cool, so making him blush was pretty hard.

"I have to agree," Patton shrugged. "Awe, your face is all red! If you're gonna have three boyfriends, you're gonna have to get used to compliments," Patton told him, speaking in a teasing voice.

"I may be the hottest, but who is the most adorable?" he settled on shifting the topic.

As a joke, Roman immediately exclaimed, "Me, obviously."

"Wrong, it's Virgil!" Patton said.

"Nope, it's you." Virgil replied.

The conversation dissolved into a playful fight about who was the cutest among them, full of compliments and flirty remarks to one another. It seemed like they all took a collective sigh of relief, because they had finally done it.

For a while, it was an uncertain waiting game to see who would be the first to bring up the idea of them all dating each other. But the waiting game was over.

They'd sort out the details later. Things that were okay, things that weren't. But for now, they just talked. They caught fireflies and cuddled in the moonlight. They shared kisses under the stars, and held hands in the loving moment.

It seemed so perfect for them to start their relationship like this. Through a beautifully planned date, amongst snacks and affection. It felt right.

When they were together, everything felt amazing. Because they loved each other. They wouldn't outright say it for a while, but it was true. It was from the moment they went on their first date, at the skating rink. Many would say that's where their love started.

But to them, they'd remember the day they made in official. Right here, surrounded by trees under the beautiful night sky.

They'd say that their love started under the stars.

--

Taglist: @stimmingsides @smollilsanderssides @novacloudcat @analogical-agere @fairyhuman2000 @aphandgflover@softastarlight @littlesapphygem @softflowerinmyheart @virgietheprincess @babeyalstar @b3an-spr0ut @babeyvoid @because-were-fam-ily @lonelysoul43-0 @lgbtqiaemo

[panevanbuckley]

so I fell down the team leckie ot4 hole and had no choice but to make a load of headcanons for them...enjoy! (warning: hella long post)

First to confess their feelings:

they're all emotionally stunted idiots so it actually takes a while for them to have 'the talk'. when they do, as they're lounging around limbs tangled and talking shit at each other, it's Hoosier who brings it up (surprising them all).

he doesn't outright call it what it is but he does ask what they're all doing. the others try to fake innocence (well...Chuckler isn't faking) until Hoosier smacks them each upside the head.

Leckie, naturally, has a whole poetic speech about love and connections which Runner shuts down by pulling him down into a kiss from where he's laying on Leckie's lap. they don't really question whatever it is between them from then on, they just all go with the flow.

First to apologize after a fight:

Chuckler will not let anybody go to bed angry so, yes, he forces them all to apologise to each other before they sleep (even if it means holding Hoosier and Leckie hostage in a tent glaring at each other after Hoosier made a fleeting comment about Leckie's overdramatics until they crack and kiss and make up).

Runner will pretend to not want to apologise but he's first after Chuckler, and he's a clingy apologiser; he'll drape himself over the others and mutter how sorry he is until they shove him away.

First to wake up:

Leckie and Chuckler, though Chuckler actually gets out of bed first whereas Leckie will bury his face back into the pillow for at least another ten minutes.

Hoosier can sleep through almost anything, and almost always has a blanket attached to his person. when they return home, it's not uncommon for him to fall asleep squished between his boyfriends as they talk quietly over the radio/television.

First to fall asleep:

Hoosier is the first asleep, as expected, but Runner isn't far behind. it probably helps that Runner has a guilty pleasure in snuggling close to Hoosier as he drifts off so he ends up wrapped in the sleeping man's arms listening to his steady breaths.

Chuckler will join them soon after, tucking himself behind Runner and dropping an arm over the two smaller men.

Leckie won't sleep until late, crawling into bed after a long writing session, his eyes drooping as he slides under the covers and presses himself close to Hoosier. he pretends not to be a cuddler but every night, without fail, he smiles to himself as he nuzzles his nose into Hoosier's hair and inhales his apple shampoo.

The affectionate one:

Runner is huge on physical affection. like, I mean huge; he'll always be leaning on someone, grabbing for their hand, sleeping curled up against them, draped over them, you name it. it makes him feel safe, knowing he's not alone and is surrounded by others that care for him (it's probably a side effect of war but he refuses to see someone about it).

the others have grown used to it now, to the point where they often initiate contact with him before he can. it's not hard to notice when he feels nervous; his fingers tap or his leg will bounce. Chuckler has a habit of pulling him onto his lap, Hoosier tends to sling a comforting arm around his shoulders and Leckie just leans into him and entwines their legs.

surprisingly (or perhaps not) Leckie is also very affectionate. this isn't always shown physically, although he is pretty big on hugs. Leckie tends to be the one that writes cute poems and notes that he leaves scattered in random places for the others to see, which they make fun of but all secretly find adorable.

The overprotective one:

Chuckler, through and through. one of them is ill? he's there. someone's saying shit about one of his boys? not on his watch. nightmares or just overall anxiety? he gives the best mama hugs.

Hoosier is also down to throw fists (or hard-hitting insults) at anybody that gives them a strange look. he fought in a goddamn war, he's not letting some nosey old lady try to tell him what's wrong and right. especially not when he gets to wake up to three smiling men that he now understands love him to no end. what could ever be wrong about that?

The money savvy one:

when they return home, Leckie is the one who takes on the role of the money keeper; he organises their wages and bills and expenses into a nice little book to keep track of them.

Hoosier is pretty good at saving money up. he just tucks random coins away when he finds them and it adds up quickly so, if one of the others (usually Runner) needs to borrow money for something, they'll go to him first.

The more charismatic (popular) one:

they're all pretty charismatic (well, maybe not Hoosier most days because he just doesn't do people). Runner is the out-going type, he'll strike up conversation with just about anyone and can charm them within minutes.

Chuckler is friendly beyond belief and will smile at almost anyone, he has this magnetic pull to people. Leckie is the schmoozer, he wins people over with his educated drawl, fancy words and that damn crooked smile.

The better caregiver when the other is sick:

Chuckler, no doubt about it! Chuckler goes all out, of course, with blankets and hot drinks and regularly checking in on them. he is, quite literally, the mom of the group and he takes that role very seriously.

Leckie will make sure they're comfortable, grab them some blankets and pillows and read something to them as he strokes his fingers through their sweat-matted hair. when they fall asleep, he undoubtedly presses a soft kiss to their forehead and then settles in nearby so he can keep an eye on them.

Hoosier worries endlessly, if he's in the room with them, you can guarantee he'll spend most of his time watching over them and looking out for any change in their behaviour or temperature. he also tends to crack light hearted jokes just to see the unfortunate guy smile, and will make sure there's a pot of steaming coffee waiting for when they wake up from a mid-day nap (he might even gently sing them to sleep).

Runner never quite knows what to do; he's the one with the worst immune system so he's usually the one being looked after. he tries to make sure they're comfortable, lying with them (even if it means he'll probably get ill too) and making up elaborate stories to keep them entertained. what he lacks in knowledge of nursing people back to health, he makes up for in his ability to absolutely smother either one of his boyfriends with love and adoration - no matter how gross they are in the moment.

Does the cooking:

Chuckler can cook pretty well, flavour-wise. Runner is the one watching over his shoulder criticising his choices and making sure he doesn't set fire to the place.

Leckie is a hopeless cook and Hoosier makes sure to remind him of this constantly. he once tried to cook them all a lovely meal on Valentine's Day but it didn't go well...at all.

Hoosier loves to experiment with flavours and spices. he and Chuckler tend to spend hours in the kitchen cooking up something absolutely amazing (like their infamous sticky bbq chicken).

Does the housework:

they all chip in to do their bit. that doesn't mean there aren't complaints and passive-aggressive reminders to "get your ass of the damn couch and pull your weight around here".

Does most of the speaking:

Chuckler and Leckie, usually. Runner will chime in now and then, he's a charmer and will win anybody over with a flash of his smile and his creative way with words. Chuckler and Leckie are more the 'parents' of the group, they're civilised and mature.

Hoosier won't speak to anyone unless he absolutely has to or if he has a witty remark to drop in unexpectedly.

Designated driver:

Hoosier is a great driver but he goes too fast for the others' liking. Leckie is okay, but he can be annnoying driver; he dictates the music and tells everyone to shut up when they get too rowdy.

Runner is the best driver of them all, if they're out drinking he'll be the designated driver of the night).

Keeps more secrets in the relationship:

none of them really keep massive secrets from each other; they're so close and trust each other completely (as well as huge gossips).

Hoosier can be hard to read a lot of the time, if he's feeling out-of-sorts he's not the type to express this to anybody. Leckie can be the same, but since returning home he's learning that opening up about his insecurities in the relationship can be much more beneficial for everybody.

Chuckler doesn't have the ability to keep a secret for his life, he's a total gossip and basically just an adorable puppy. if he knows something he thinks will make his boyfriends smile he'll tell them, even if he was told to keep it to himself - the only exception is if it'd hurt the person who told him.

Runner is a great liar, if he wanted to keep a secret he definitely could. luckily for the others, he's never really felt inclined to not tell them things

Sensitive to subtle changes in their partners:

being an observer, Hoosier is usually the first to notice a change in one of the others' behaviour. whether that be them just being quieter than usual or more short-tempered.

Chuckler is good at reading people too and can usually tell someone isn't feeling 100% before the person even knows themselves.

Leckie tends to get wrapped up in his own head a lot of the time and can be completely oblivious to an argument taking place between the others until it's too late and he's made a dumb comment that kicks the whole thing off again.

in all fairness, they're all pretty in-tune with each other by the end of the war and can usually tell what's wrong eventually and know exactly what to do/say to help them.

they work well together. they trust each other wholeheartedly. they love each other.

[frobster]

Little!Peter having a play date with little!Pietro while their daddies, Bucky and Clint, hang out. Maybe they show each other their plushies.

This is so sweet 😭💜

☆☆☆

Clint was curious about Bucky and Peter's relationship ever since he started noticing similar tendencies between Peter and Pietro. His boyfriend was snarky and sarcastic most of the time, but he became a sweet baby when he went into littlespace and sometimes Peter seemed to be the same. Peter would cling to Bucky, curl up in his lap, demand to be wrapped in a very specific light blue blanket. Pietro had his own grey blanket that he clung to when he felt little too.

So one day, Clint went off in search of Bucky with the intention of asking him about it all. He found Bucky with Peter on a couch in the common area, Peter wrapped in his blue blanket and sound asleep with his head on Bucky's lap. The sight was so very familiar to his own weekends when Pietro got soft and sweet, he couldn't help his smile as he walked over.

Bucky glanced up as Clint got closer and seemed to tense up, like he was ready to defend his boyfriend or leave. But Clint's smile didn't waver as he sat down on the other side of the couch and his voice was low when he spoke.

"You comfortable talking right now? It's kind of about Peter, but nothing bad," Clint said, a hint of hope in his voice.

There was a moment of hesitation before Bucky nodded to give Clint permission to ask his questions. He didn't want to talk too much while Peter was napping but he didn't really mind so long as it was an easy conversation.

"I've noticed that Peter acts.. different sometimes," Clint said carefully. "Pietro gets the same way," he added quickly before Bucky could rise to Peter's defense. 

"The same?" Bucky asked carefully, as if wanting Clint to elaborate. 

"Yeah, y'know. Soft, quiet, sweet. Needs gentler interaction," Clint explained, a little awkwardly. He couldn't quite put it into words.

Bucky nodded and thought quietly, his hand slowly petting through Peter's hair as if he didn't really notice what he was doing. Clint wondered faintly if Pietro would like his hair played with too. Maybe even brushed out after a shower or bath.

"So have you done any research?" Bucky finally asked, breaching the subject without naming it specifically.

"Yeah, a bit." Clint took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Wanda told me about it too, how she used to take care of him. I don't really know how young he regresses, but he gets more subdued and dependent. It's really.. sweet."

Bucky finally smiled and nodded, but his eyes were down on Peter. There was a shine of affection in his eyes and Clint had to smile again too. He was glad Bucky had finally found someone to be with without any fear.

"Peter usually regresses to around 3, I think. I've taken notes and we've talked about it, looked up other peoples' experiences. It takes a lot of trust for him to feel comfortable sharing it with other people. I'm only telling you because you have Pietro too."

Clint recognized the seriousness of Bucky sharing this information. He hadn't told anyone else about Pietro either, and didn't intend to until he noticed Peter and Bucky.

"Thank you for trusting me," Clint said with a nod. "D'you think.. they would want to talk at all?"

Both men looked at Peter, who was still sound asleep. Pietro tended to still be quite a bit outgoing when he was little, as opposed to Peter who got soft and quiet. Clint worried that Pietro might be too much for Peter to handle, but to his surprise, Bucky shrugged before looking up again.

"Yeah, probably. Peter has been opening up to Nat lately too, and he mentioned wanting a friend to play with who wasn't a caregiver." 

Clint grinned and the rest of their conversation was spent discussing logistics of when they'd get their boys together.

-----

By the time the boys got together, both Clint and Bucky had spoken to them about the situation and they both agreed to it. They met in Bucky's apartment to allow Peter to feel more comfortable with the meeting, and Pietro bounced in place as they waited for Bucky to open the door. 

"Calm down, kid," Clint said with a soft laugh as he ruffled Pietro's hair.

Pietro huffed and swatted at Clint's hand before shooting him a snarky look.

"I'm still my regular self, Clint," he said as he rolled his eyes.

But then Bucky opened the door and Pietro perked up as he waved and darted into the apartment. Clint shrugged in apology and stepped in too, letting Bucky close the door behind them as he wandered to the living room. 

Peter was sitting on the couch with his blue blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his panda plush on his lap, eyes wide as he watched the cartoon Bucky had turned on earlier. He clearly was at least partially regressed, which Pietro realized right away. So he slowed down and perched lightly next to Peter, who blinked and looked over before curling up shyly.

Bucky immediately went to Peter's side and Clint set his bag down before sitting next to Pietro. Peter wormed his way onto Bucky's lap and hid his face in his daddy's neck, who laughed softly and rubbed his baby's back.

"It's okay, little one. Pietro is a friend, yeah? And Clint is his daddy, just like I am for you," Bucky reassured him.

"Papa," Pietro corrected, then blushed when both Bucky and Peter looked over at him.

"Papa?" Peter asked, voice soft and curious.

The voice had Pietro relaxing with the reminder that Peter was like him too. He nodded with a smile and scooted a little closer, glancing briefly at Bucky to make sure he was allowed to.

"Mhm, papa. Call Clint papa, not daddy," Pietro explained.

Peter looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding in understanding. Then he slid off Bucky's lap and held out his panda plush to show Pietro, making it wave one of its hands.

"This is panda, he's my favorite. You got plushies?" Peter was curious whether he was in littlespace or not and his love for soft plush animals bubbled up along with it.

Pietro lit up at the sight of Peter's plushie before realizing he didn't have one. He turned to Clint and opened his mouth to ask for one, but the older man was already holding out his hedgehog and grey blanket. Rather than blushing this time, Pietro grinned and grabbed both before turning back to Peter to show them off.

The two got into their conversations easily and despite Pietro's insistence that he wasn't regressing earlier, he slid into his littlespace quite easily. The caregivers shifted to another couch so they could talk, often glancing over to watch their boys interact with fond smiles.

Pietro was older than Peter both in literal age and regression age, but they still got along well. As their conversations tapered off with both feeling soft and lazy and no longer in the mood to talk, they wound up practically cuddled together with their own blankets, plushies of choice held to their chests. There was an easy sense of calm in the apartment, everyone feeling safe and settled and accepted for who they were.

Clint and Pietro stayed through lunch and dinner since the littles felt so comfortable with each other. They even went into Peter's room, which was essentially a playroom since he always slept with Bucky in the other bedroom. When Pietro came back out, he immediately clung to Clint's arm and begged his papa to make him a playroom too.

"Only if you help me, little prince. You aren't little all the time," Clint chuckled, already having made plans to make a playroom after Bucky had mentioned it earlier.

Pietro was happy enough with that answer and darted back to Peter's room. A bit later, the caregivers went to check on their littles and smiled from the doorway. Peter had set up his plushies like they were in a meeting, something he did often, and he was systematically introducing each one to Pietro's hedgehog.

Eventually, as the evening wore on, the boys piled together on the couch again and laid down with their heads close so they could still feel like they were cuddling. Peter was the first to yawn, and Pietro was soon after, rubbing at his face before nuzzling into his hedgehog. 

In hushed voices, Bucky and Clint said their goodbyes and agreed to set up another playdate soon. They were both surprised that their boyfriends got along so well in their littlespace right away, especially given that they didn't interact a whole lot normally. Over all, it was a great day for everyone.

Clint gently woke Pietro up when he started to doze off, taking his hedgehog and blanket to tuck into his bag again so they weren't dropped or left behind on accident. Pietro whined and rubbed at his face again, but thankfully it didn't take too much nudging to get him up off the couch. Clint held his hand as they walked out, waving to Bucky once more before closing the door.

"You have a nice time, baby?" Clint asked as he pressed a kiss to Pietro's head.

They were waiting for the elevator to their floor since Clint knew Pietro would pout about stairs and demand to be carried.

"Yes, papa," Pietro murmured, his head resting on Clint's shoulders and eyes half-closed.

When they got back to their apartment, Clint took out the hedgehog and blanket to set on their bed before helping Pietro into his pajamas. They opted for patterned pajamas this time since he still felt little and always liked when there were fun shapes on his clothes. 

They fell asleep easily that night with Pietro's blanket bundled around his shoulders and his hedgehog tucked against his chest. He liked to curl around his plushie when he felt small, finding a sense of safety and comfort in it. And Clint was more than happy to be the big spoon and press close to nuzzle into Pietro's soft hair as they slept.

Both couples slept easily with their littles worn out from a day of play and the caregivers filled with new ideas and hopes for the future. They would definitely have to plan another playdate soon.

☆☆☆

♡ requests open! ♡

[the-awkward-outlaw]

How would a modern au Arthur feel about a female reader who had an invisible illness that caused a lot of pain on the daily? How would he be? Feel?

Hmm, this one may be a bit more challenging. I’ve never written a modern Arthur, but I’ll give it my best shot. 

Arthur puts his grooming brush away and pats his horse affectionately. He loves his little ranch he lives on. He wouldn’t live anywhere else, especially not in the city just beyond the mountain range. Sure, there’s more work and a lot more money in the city, but a lot less happiness and love. He grew up with his uncles Dutch and Hosea after his parents died in a car accident when he was a kid, working on their ranch. Of course, they showed him a few tricks in how to make the most money out of their work and how to do it on the sly. 

Unfortunately for him, Hosea passed away a few years ago due to cancer and Dutch was never the same after that. He ended up just disappearing out of the blue one day and Arthur was never able to contact him again after that. He hoped Dutch was just off trying to find himself now that Hosea’s gone. His own life became rather lonely as he worked on the ranch alone. Since it wasn’t huge, he managed to do it just fine. 

Then he met you at the only gas station in town. You were hopelessly lost trying to find your way to one of the lakes up in the mountains for a peaceful and quiet weekend, but service was spotty out this far and you’ve never been good at reading paper maps. Arthur was there and he helped point you in the right direction. He could see you were rattled because you’d been so lost. Not only that, you were taking the weekend off in order to get away from your own troubles. Your boyfriend at the time was abusive in the emotional sense and you’d just discovered he’d been cheating on you. 

It was pretty late in the day by the time Arthur helped you get sorted and the town’s so small there’s no hotel or even bed and breakfast. It’s all just ranches and farms out here, plus a trailer park but no one goes there. He doesn’t like the idea of someone who doesn’t know the area traveling into the mountains when it’s dark. The roads are windy and several of them are dirt. Many inexperienced drivers have crashed their cars on those roads. He offers you to come home with him, have a beer and something to eat and then says he has a spare room in the barn (where he used to sleep as a boy) that you’re welcome to. Relieved to finally get some help, you accepted. 

The two of you got on so well that the next morning, you asked for Arthur’s number. He was incredibly attractive with his rugged cowboy hat and boots. You’ve only dated soft city boys before, but you always wondered what it was like living out here where no one can bother you. Arthur gave you his number and then said he’d love to go to this lake with you as he knew the roads better. 

After that, you two started dating. It was difficult at first because you lived in the city two hours away. However, you video chatted with each other almost every night and grew incredibly close. Every weekend, one of you would drive to see the other and spend the weekend together. Arthur was a perfect gentleman. Kind, thoughtful, rugged and rough in just the right places. One time your ex even barged into your apartment and accused you of cheating right in front of Arthur. He went home with a bruised jaw and split lip. 

Arthur smiles as he thinks about the last time he saw you. It was nearly a year ago he bumped into you and he’s never been happier. You ended up getting a remote job that allowed you to work from home mostly, so you moved into his ranch home. You’ve never been happier. Sure, the drive to the local grocery store isn’t as convenient as the city and if you want to do anything fun, there’s always at least a thirty minute drive to the largest town, but you love the quiet, the peace. Arthur’s a huge bonus too, of course. 

Arthur finishes filling the troughs with water and then goes to turn off the hose. You left this morning to go to the city to do one of your monthly days in the office. Your job requires you to come in once a month for paperwork, attend meetings and so forth, but it’s not too bad. Arthur hates the days you’re gone. You’ve brought a new light to his life to fill the absence of Hosea and Dutch. He couldn’t imagine being happier than he is now. 

Just as he finished rolling up the hose, his cell phone rings. Since the weather’s clear, service is actually pretty decent. He pulls out his phone, expecting to see an unknown number from a likely scanner. Instead, it comes up as the number for a hospital three towns over. His stomach drops and he picks it up. 

The voice tells him you’ve been in a serious accident. A driver suspected of being on drugs hit you head on at high speed and totaled your car. You’re in critical condition and the person on the phone asks he come see you. Of course, he doesn’t hesitate. He grabs the keys to his truck and drives as fast as he can to the hospital you’re at. 

When he sees you in the bed, tubes all along your body and scratches on your face from the broken glass, he breaks down. He’s so frightened about what’s going to happen. The nurse explains you suffered a concussion but they doubt you’ll be out more than a day or two. You’ve suffered a broken hand, wrist and a fracture in your sternum, but luckily they don’t think any of your organs were injured. Arthur stays by your side night and day, fretting over you. 

When you finally wake, he’s overjoyed. He wants nothing more than to hold you, but he knows how much pain  you’re in and how broken your body is. Of course, because of the pain killers, you don’t feel much. After another day in the hospital, the doctor deems you well enough to return home but orders you to bed rest for the next several weeks so your sternum can heal. 

Arthur’s the best caregiver with you. He comes and checks on you every hour in the bed, making sure you have enough to eat. He even moves the TV into the room so you can watch something if you want. Anything you want, he’ll get it for you. He checks his phone constantly as he works in case you’ve texted him. He’s so gentle and loving, you don’t even feel scared anymore.

After a week has passed though, you start feeling horrible pain in your chest. It’s not from your sternum either. Instead it feels like someone is grabbing your lower ribs and trying to crush them. It’s a horrible pain and Arthur, fearing the worst, takes you back to the hospital. Tests are run and scans are taken, but unfortunately the doctor can’t find any explanation for your pain. An exploratory surgery is even done but still, no answer. A few more screenings are taken and then they send you home with more painkillers and promises they’ll try to find what’s causing it. 

Weeks go by and nothing. Arthur has called the hospital and even yelled at people trying to find the answers, but nothing. Your injuries have all healed but the pain in your ribs is still there. It fades though, allowing you to do work around the ranch and your own job, but at least once a day, a wave of horrible pain will slam into you, forcing you to sit down wherever you’re at and clutch your midriff. It often causes you to cry. 

Arthur almost seems to have a sixth sense for when you’re having an episode. He finds you every time. He sets down whatever he’s doing, sits down next to you and pulls you into his arm. He lets you cry into his shoulder, pets your hair and whispers promises that the answer will be found. He wishes he could do something, anything, to help you. Unfortunately, there’s nothing more he can do other than support you like this and he hates it. He does everything in his power to make you feel better. 

Sometimes he can be a bit of a pest with how protective he’s become since the accident. Occasionally you’ll try to get up on the horse he lets you ride, but he’ll try and argue with you about it, stating if you have an episode, you’ll fall off. You know he’s just trying to protect you, but sometimes it comes off as if he thinks you can’t do it. 

Finally the doctor calls and explains they still can’t find an answer to your pain. They’re sure it’s some kind of injury, but they believe the episodes will begin to fade over time as your body heals. 

Another year passes and while the episodes are not as common, only every couple of weeks, you still have them. The doctor prescribed medicine for you to take during one of these episodes that will help the episode pass sooner than they used to.

Arthur’s been so good to you since the accident. He’s not as protective anymore, but if he sees you start to have one, he’ll grab you and help you sit down. If you’re on your horse, he’ll help you off and just hold you until it passes. He always makes one of your favorite meals after you’ve had an episode. He just wants you to know that he cares about you. He’s easily the best boyfriend you’ve ever had and there’s no doubt in your mind you’ll spend the rest of your life with him.

Thanks for sending this one in! It was definitely more of a challenge but I really enjoyed it! 

[rankdisasster]

Five and Nine dearie! ;)

since you asked about all my stories, I have around 13-ish so this is basically a giant commentary for everything:)🤘🏼😃

hidden in plain sight

what part was hardest to write?

The fucking letters, jesus christ. I thought, ‘hey, wouldnt it be fun to have Billy’s point of view with him reading what she admires about him and make it super lovey dovey and sweet?’ and I almost gave up so many times cause fuck it was hard. Took over a week with switching the wording around and finding what flowed best. Also finding what didn’t sound creepy.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

Nah, I mean I could’ve had their places switch, where he’s the one that writes to her... but I loved writing him feel all blushy and giddy over someone thinking of him like that.

look what you’ve done

what part was hardest to write?

After the fight and the ignoring and all that pent up anger being released, there was an awkward moment with all this tension between the two in her room - that was challenging for sure. Cause he was being a piece of shit and he himself knew it, she knew it, everybody knew it. But what took some thinking was to be able to show the guy he was before the fight and his insecurities getting the best of him.

were there alternate versions of this fic?

I dabbled with a lot of reasons why they’d fight, but Billy as a person is just sensitive and insecure and him seeing something like that, no matter how innocent or short the exchange could’ve been in reality with her and some nameless stranger could still set him off and trigger the monster he’s got hidden inside. I can’t remember other scenarios I had thought of but that one stuck to me.

sixteen

what part was hardest to write?

The relationship felt natural, like I could hear all the conversations they’ve had and seen everything they’d done together, I really really liked that dynamic but one stupid small part that killed me was writing the douchey boyfriend lol. Ultimately it’s such an insignificant part, so I scrapped any further drama with him and his deal because the story wasn’t supposed to be about him; it was supposed to be about her and Billy, their past, how it affected them both when they saw each other again after so long.

were there alternate versions of this fic?

None actually! I had it in my mind right off the bat that I wanted him to be nervous and caught off guard for once. like I said in the commentary for this, I know his personality, I know he’s quite used to thinking/believing he’s the most powerful in the room but I wanted that to change for this instance, and I strayed away from having him be untouchable or macho in any way.

whipped

what part was hardest to write?

THE KIDS. I’ve never ever written them before, and I even debated watching a few episodes before tackling it.... but I didn’t and I think I pulled it off alright. I loved their humor. I knew Dustin was always being a paranoid goofball, Lucas as the same without all the anxiety or nerdy interests, Mike as impatient and pessimistic, and Will as being very quiet. So yeah, I overcame that doubt and just did what I thought felt right.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

I thought a lot about what movie they’d watch - like a rom com would’ve been pretty funny too, but I had to have him tease and scare the kids so I made their movie of the night thing be Nightmare on Elm Street😂

punch-drunk love

what was the hardest part to write?

A lot of this flowed easy and generally wasn’t stressful at all. Describing him as a fun drunk was a blast. Thinking of what he would he say if he had no filter and felt on top of the world. I can’t think of anything that I was held back by this time, it all came out in just a couple hours when I should’ve been sleeping lol.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

When I was brainstorming by myself I thought it would just be more smutty and desperate or even a little more sad. I had it planned that she’d reject him initially, but then I got an ask that changed the game and I’m really proud of how it turned out.

naive

what part was hardest to write?

I hardly went over it or stressed much other than tweaking a few details, but plot was pretty self explanatory - I think the most difficult part to write was all the possible ways there could’ve been scenarios where he could’ve mislead her

were there any alternate versions of this fic?

I almost wanted to write them in class but thought him on lifeguard duty would’ve been more engaging and had a lot more to go off of

old habits die hard

what part was hardest to write?

Literally everything. every. single. PART about writing people have sex is challenging, omg. Foreplay....down to kissing.....then down to actually fucking, I got red the whole time. Especially after posting it I’d almost pissed myself ‘cause it’s so nerve wracking putting smut out there holy christ.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

I wanted to get into their marriage and relationship but.... tbh I thought everyone would just skip it and get to the good stuff. So yeah there was probably an almost started version on my phone where I had backstory on how he proposed and all but thought no one would care too much lol.

obstacle 1

what part was hardest to write?

Hurt/comfort is a little challenging when you wanna do it differently. I wanted to sway away from her being this perfect female caregiver that knows exactly what to say and what to do cause that’s just so hard to picture when it comes to real life and all, not that I’m mixing fiction and life it’s just sometimes hard to believe that every girl is perfect at taking care of a guy breaking down.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

Nothing too different, I reasoned in my head how he’d get into trouble cause there are infinite ways Billy could’ve fucked up but.... stealing chocolate is pretty funny and juvenile, and he knew it too, but he’d absolutely still get his ass whooped anyway.

playing hooky

what part was hardest to write?

I found it hard to know what they’d do after she got blasted, cause.....what would two teenagers do in a small town skipping school? Also easily taking personal experience for her snapping and getting tired of her careful image cause everybody had these impossibly high expectations for her, but what they’d get up to doing that was ‘illegal’ that they could get arrested for took some time to think about.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

At first I pictured them maybe like breaking in somewhere they weren’t supposed to, hence the ‘we could get arrested’ line, but skinny dipping was my favorite pitch.

thick as thieves

what part was hardest to write?

The ending gave me a tough time, I had to think whether or not if I’d forgive someone for doing that shit to me. It’s happened before, to everybody and myself, the pains of drifting apart and the jealousy that comes with seeing them blossom and become social butterflies, the joys of being in high school... Oh and I’m still working on another part:)

were there alternate versions of this fic?

I dabbled with lots of ideas but I knew I wanted two friends growing apart, a push/pull between their relationship...I don’t remember what else I had planned that I ditched.

the craft (1996)

what part was hardest to write?

Maybe the love spell part. I wanted to write it as severe and dramatic as possible, and really show how desperate and gone he was.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

Hmm, I based this off the film and it does show a lot more about the girl group besides the love spell bit, but I wanted it to focus on that cause it was more interesting fucking with Billy. I liked how dark both the movie and the fic was

in utero

what part was hardest to write?

My obstacle with this one was creating this female Billy in my head, which to me was basically a flawed, outrageous, outgoing/promiscuous high school girl who makes a mistake. Writing him pining was definitely enjoyable, and him practicing his lines on how he’d say how he felt and stuff. The wording was switched around a ton, but I’m fairly happy with it. It’s not perfect, he stutters and trails off because he’s nervous, but in it’s own way I think it’s a perfect display of an insecure guy summoning up any courage he has and trying to shoo away any doubt.

were there alternate versions to this fic?

Oh man, tons of ideas came to my head with this one. I wondered if maybe she could’ve never gotten ‘rid’ of ‘it’ and then they run off in the sunset, raise ‘it’ together.... Billy maturing and finding a home with their own family. BUT the reason I chose the path she took was because she’s just a kid, fresh from high school, had no idea what she was gonna do with no money other than visit her best friend. I think she knew she didn’t want it and couldn’t stand the guy who put her in this position, so she ran.

— so there it all is, kudos to you if you actually read this far down and to anyone who has reblogged or commented on any of these.... THANKYOU🖤🥰✨

And especially thanks to Haiden cause you’re the best

[apieceofcakecat]

Children’s Wedding (Noremma Week - Day 2: Childhood)

   Emma carefully closed the door behind her and tiptoed through the corridors, careful not to be seen. She crept all the way until finally slipping into one of the rooms, where Gilda and Anna were waiting for her

   “Did you make it?” asked the girl in glasses, with expectation.

   “Of course.” the redhead raised both arms and in her hands was Isabella’s sewing kit, which she had taken from her room. “Never doubt my incredible skills.” she said proudly.

   “I never doubted it.” Gilda clapped her hands cheerfully and ran toward her friend, being followed by Anna.

   “Won't we be in trouble?” she asked the blonde, worriedly.

     “Of course not. We'll return him before Mama realizes he's gone.”

   Gilda readjusted the glasses on her face and took the sewing kit from Emma's hands; the three then marched to one of the beds, where there was a fashion magazine and some sheets. Gilda had found the magazine in the orphanage library and while leafing through it with Emma and Anna, she came across a picture of a beautiful wedding dress, which she decided she would make on her own, because she thought it would be a great training to help her realize her dream of becoming a fashion designer in the future.

   As they knew that Isabella did not allow any of the younger children to handle any object that could cut or puncture them, Gilda asked Emma to sneak into the caregiver's room and take the sewing kit. Now that she had the kit and the fabric – in this case, some extra sheets removed from the warehouse – only one model was missing.

   “Emma, you're going to be my model.” said the girl with the glasses.

   “Why me?” questioned the redhead, hanging her head to the side.

   “Anna will help me sew, so I need someone to be the model.”

   “Not to mention that you're going to look really cute in that dress.” completed the blonde.

   “All right! I will help you by being the model.” Emma said, with determination.

   After that, Gilda started working on the process of making the dress, being assisted by Anna, and despite being very young, the girl with glasses was really talented. The time spent flying and the girls were so distracted with their games, the cuts and seams in the fabric that ended up not realizing the hours passing. Before they knew it, the sun was setting.

   “We'd better fix it soon, it's almost time for dinner.” said Anna.

   “But we're not done yet.” said Gilda, gesticulating to Emma. “We're almost there and it's getting so beautiful.”

   Even before the blonde had time to answer something, the bedroom door was opened. The three of them immediately looked towards the entrance to the room, where Isabella was, standing with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

   “What did I say about not touching my sewing kit?”

   “Sorry, Mama. But look, we're fine.” said Gilda, trying to ease the situation.

   “Still, you could have been hurt. Not to mention they disobeyed me.” said Isabella, in an accusing tone. The three of them bowed their heads, almost synchronously. “However, I must admit that you have made a beautiful dress.” your look and tone of voice softened a little, causing the girls to sigh for relief.

     “Mama, isn't it amazing?” said Gilda, proudly.

   “Yes, it's beautiful and Emma is very cute in It.” the redhead smiled when she heard the compliment. “You girls are really talented, but you still disobeyed me. So I want you to promise me that you'll never get your hands on any dangerous objects again.”

  “We promise, Mama.” said the trio in unison.

   “Great. Well, unfortunately I will have to apply some punishment, but for now?” Isabella paused and approached the girls, then took her kit. “I will help them finish the dress.” The trio's eyes lit up and they jumped in celebration.

   Isabella in fact did what she promised; she finished the dress and soon after all went to the kitchen where the dinner was served. And after the meal, Emma, Gilda and Anna were in charge of tidying up the kitchen as punishment.

                                                    [...]

    Norman searched the whole area around the orphanage, but did not find a single trace of Emma. He was quite discouraged, after all, really appreciated the presence of the girl. The albino decided to enter the house to look for her and went straight to the room she shared with other girls in the orphanage.

   “Emma, are you-“ he interrupted himself as soon as he opened the door to the room, seeing an Emma inside wearing a wedding dress, even a veil. Norman's eyes widened a little and he blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

   “Hey Norman.” she greeted him, opening a smile.

  “Emma... Where did you get this outfit?”

  “Gilda made this dress yesterday with Anna's help and she asked me to be a model. Gilda wanted to take a picture of me using him as a souvenir, so she asked me to dress him while she went to borrow Mama's camera.” the redhead explained.

   “Oh.” was the only thing he could say, since he was still a little stunned. Because of this, they remained silent for a few minutes, until Emma decided to break it.

   “What did you think?” the redhead stared at him while he waited for an answer.

    “Oh... W-well…” the nervousness was making it very difficult to verbalize a coherent response and Norman could feel the sweat dripping from his forehead. “I think... I think you're a very cute bride.” he said, feeling his cheeks warm up.

    “You know, Gilda and Anna said similar things to me, but... Actually, I still don't understand what a bride is.”

   “Huh? Don't you know?” Norman asked, blinking his eyes in surprise. Emma nodded in response.

   “Norman, do you know what a bride is? And do you also know what a wedding is? They were saying that word too.”

    “Well, yes. A marriage... Let's see...” although not completely unrelated to Emma's subject matter, the albino's knowledge of marriage was very limited because of his youth. Therefore, he had to think a little to elaborate an explanation that was easy to understand.

    “Weddings are parties where two people wear fancy clothes, such as your dress, and these people are called bride and groom. The bride and groom swear in front of their entire family and friends that they will be together no matter what and that oath will last forever. This is a marriage.”

    “It seems to be very nice.” the redhead's eyes lit up and she held the albino's hands. “Hey Norman, let's get married.”

    “We…What?!” the question came out in a higher tone than intended because of the shock.

    “There's Ray too, but I think he'd definitely call me empty-headed if I asked him. And you said that people who get married stay together forever, and I don't want to be separated from Norman ever. So, let's get married.”

    Those words made the albino's heart melt and his cheeks become redder than ever.

    “Yes, Emma. I will marry you.” he replied, giving a smile of satisfaction.

   In the end, even Isabella ended up being involved in the fun, and she, together with the other children, organized the ‘ceremony’. Norman wore a suit made by Isabella, and the guests – in this case, the other children in the orphanage – sat in the chairs covered with sheets that were scattered around the garden, while watching Ray – who after much reluctance and being bribed with books, ended up accepting the role of ‘priest” – perform the marriage of Emma and Norman.

     Ray recited some excerpts from things he had seen said at wedding scenes in the books he read, and soon after that, Emma and Norman joined their pinkies and swore never to abandon each other. The moment was recorded by Isabella, who took several photos throughout the playful wedding, and when the ceremony was over, she served some cupcakes to the children.

                                                         [...]

    “Hey, what's this picture?” Yuugo pointed to the picture frame that Emma was holding, in which was a picture of a younger version of her next to an albino boy, the two were with their little fingers crossed and smiled at each other.

    “Oh, it's from my wedding. I found it when I was messing with some old stuff.”

    “Marriage?” the man arched an eyebrow.

    “Yeah. It happened before you guys adopted me.” the redhead explained.

    When she was about 11, Emma was adopted by Yuugo and Lucas, who were her parents now. Even though she left the orphanage, she always kept in touch with all those who stayed there, especially with Norman, who was adopted about 9 months after her and the two of them ended up going to the same school. Over time, the bond between the two grew more and more until they finally became boyfriends.

    “I think Lucas will be a little upset when he hears about it. After all, he's always had the dream of going into church with you and all that bullshit.”

    “Don't worry. When we make our wedding anniversary, we can do a renewal of vows.” she said, laughing a little, making Yuugo laugh too.

    The sound of the bell distracted both their attention, and because of the way Emma's eyes lit up, Yuugo didn't even have to answer the door to know who he was.

    “Well, I have things to do. Take care of yourself.” having said that, the man left the room, leaving the redhead alone.

    Emma looked at the picture one more time and a silly smile formed on her lips. She placed the picture frame on the coffee table and walked to the door, not noticing the crack that formed on the glass moments later.

[anotherkpopvictim]

Thank You (For Everything You Do) - NamjoonXBTS Littlespace Drabble

(Source: nikadonna) I was searching for gifs for this fic and came across this perfect fanart that just so happened to say Thank You! I’d titled this fic before I found it so I just had to use it :)

Unfortunately, it will not allow me to actually link the source :(

A/N: I wrote this for our leader’s birthday ;) I wanted to write a story showcasing BTS giving back and appreciating all Namjoon does for them as a leader.

Hope you enjoy!

Also, just for reference, this is what Namjoon refers to the others as in littlespace:

Jin - Eomma (I know this is kind of overdone, but I liked it for this fic)

Yoongi - Appa

Hoseok - Daddy

Jimin - Oppa (Again, kind of done a lot, but I chose it anyways)

Taehyung - DaDa

Jungkook - Hyungie

Relationship: Little!Namjoon X Caregiver!BTS (My first OT7)

Rating: G

Words: 3130

Fluff, just fluff. Too much probably. Y’all gonna need a dentist after this, it’s just too sweet.

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Namjoon felt only half asleep as he stumbled up the three flights of stairs to their dorm, because, of course, the elevator was out of order.

Their promotion period just came to an end after months and months of concerts and interviews and music shows and filming Run episodes. The rest of the BTS members had been sent back to the dorm five hours earlier, but Namjoon was asked to stay back at the company for a meeting with Bang-PD.

Now, he was finally finished. It was barely four o’clock in the afternoon but he was tired and he ached all over. The front door of the dorm never looked so inviting, and the fact that all of his boyfriends were inside and one of them would surely be willing to cuddle tonight, made it all the better.

Namjoon thought about the comfort of his bed and sighed out contentedly. He lifted one of his hands to grab the doorknob of their dorm door when the door opened on its own.

The leader looked up with a heavy blink, taking in the smiling forms of Jin and Yoongi. They appeared to be well-rested - no doubt they spent the last five hours catching up on some much-needed sleep while Namjoon was busy.

“Oh - hi, hyungs,” he said, so tired that it made his voice more raspy than usual.

“Hey, Joonie! Come on in!” Seokjin exclaimed, his voice a bit too happy.

Namjoon arched a curious brow at the odd behavior, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Yoongi was the one to reply, stretching his arm around the younger’s shoulders and guiding him into the dorm fully. As Jin closed the door behind them, Yoongi sat Namjoon down on the bench in the entryway and began removing his shoes for him.

“What are you doing?”

Yoongi looked up at him, confused, “Removing your shoes?”

“Okay,” Namjoon drawled, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “But why?”

“Because I feel like it.”

The younger whined and he didn’t care one bit that it sounded extremely childish. “Why are you guys being so difficult?”

Yoongi and Jin shared a look between them that the younger couldn’t decipher and then the oldest was grabbing Namjoon by the cheeks and pulling him into a kiss.

Namjoon was pleasantly surprised and kissed his hyung back gently. When Jin backed away again (much too soon if you asked Namjoon) the younger asked with sparkling eyes, “What was that for?”

Jin winked at him and pressed one last kiss to his lips, “We wanna spoil you today, baby. How does that sound?”

The leader heard the term of endearment and felt the tugging of littlespace in his mind. “Y-You really want to do that?” he asked hesitantly.

Namjoon was always a little insecure about his little self. He was the leader of BTS, he was the one that was supposed to be taking care of the others, not have them take care of him.

Yoongi spoke up, placing a kiss to the leader’s cheek. “We really, really do, bub.”

It wasn’t a hard decision to make after that. Namjoon felt all the built-up stress and tension release from his body as he let out a whine, “Appa!”

“Ah, there’s my good boy,” Yoongi said with a smile reserved only for little Joonie.

“Come on, baby,” Jin picked up Namjoon in his arms without much difficulty and began leading them further into the dorm. The little wrapped his arms around his oldest hyung’s neck and nuzzled in contently. “We have a lot planned for our baby today.”

First, they went to the bedroom, where Jin and Yoongi worked together to change the younger into an old t-shirt and sweats. The little was confused as to why they weren’t putting him in something more comfortable, like a onesie, but he accepted it without question.

They left the bedroom and entered the living room, Yoongi trailing behind them, to find Jimin and Hoseok sitting patiently on the floor in the middle of the room. A tarp was spread over most of the space, and about a dozen tubs containing different colors of paint as well as multiple sizes of canvases were set up beside them.

Namjoon eyes widened at the sight. If there was one thing little Joon loved to do, it was paint. “Pretty colors!” he exclaimed as he began squirming in the oldest’s arms, “Eomma, pretty colors!”

“I see that, baby,” Jin replied fondly, placing the younger on the ground so he could hurry over to the two sat on the floor. “Appa and I are going to go start on dinner while you hang out with your Daddy and Oppa, okay?”

Namjoon nodded his head excitedly as his eyes darted to each of the tubs of color. He was already planning his first painting.

Jimin scooted over to sit beside him and smiled so wide his eyes nearly disappeared, “Hey, baby, are you excited to paint?”

“Yeah! Joonie gonna be a artist!” he said.

Jimin ruffled the light brown hair falling over his forehead, “We have some paintbrushes if want, honey, or you can just use your hands.”

Namjoon responded by dipping his entire left hand in a tub of bright pink and slapping it on the canvas closest to him.

“Okay, hands it is,” Jimin mused.

“Joonie, can we paint too?” Hoseok asked, sitting across from the little.

“Mhm!” Namjoon hummed his reply, more focused on his masterpiece.

Jimin and Hoseok both chuckled at the adorable little and set about working on their own paintings, opting for using the paintbrushes Namjoon hadn’t wanted.

Little Joon spent the next half hour slapping and smearing color over his canvas until it was absolutely drenched in paint. Thank god the others had put down a tarp, otherwise the floor would have been a mess.

“Daddy, look!” Joonie picked up his first finished painting and held it out so the other could see.

Hoseok looked up from his own painting to observe the younger’s artwork. It was an abstract mess of pink, blue and yellow, with accents of red and purple. “Wah! You made that, Joonie? That’s amazing!”

Namjoon giggled and blushed a bit at the compliment, “Thank you, Daddy!”

“Let me see, let me see!” Jimin demanded. Once Namjoon showed it off to him as well, he grinned, “We’ll definitely have to hang that in the living room somewhere!”

“Right there!” Namjoon pointed to an empty space next to the television.

“Perfect,” Hoseok replied, clapping his hands together. “We’ll put it up once it’s fully dried in a few days.”

“What you make, Daddy? Oppa?”

Jimin puffed his chest out proudly and lifted his painting up for all of them to see, “I worked very hard on it, so be nice!”

The white canvas had been covered in various blues, creating a nice ocean base. On top of that, Jimin had painted multi-colored fish and other sea creatures in a rather, ah, basic technique. It looked more like a child had painted it than Namjoon’s did.

Hoseok was holding a hand over his mouth in a weak attempt to hide his snickers at the sight, but Namjoon - well, Namjoon looked in awe.

“Oppa painted pretty fishies!” he exclaimed before pointing to a particular blob of orange, “Lookit! Baby crabs! Joonie loves crabs, Oppa!”

“Well, thank you, baby, at least someone likes it,” Jimin sent a glare in Hoseok’s direction, who simply held his hands up in surrender.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“What about Daddy? Can Joonie see his picture?”

Hoseok’s attention was directed to the hopeful looking little holding his hands clasped together adorably. “Well, I can’t say no to someone so cute, now can I?”

“Nuh-uh!” Namjoon agreed, grinning widely.

Hoseok chuckled and lifted up his own painting for the others to observe. He had created a forest scene and splattered some white paint over everything so it looked like it was snowing. It certainly wasn’t the best painting in the world, but it was definitely better than Jimin’s, and it seemed the younger knew it too by his defeated pout.

“It looks like real trees!” Namjoon said, “How did Daddy make them look so pretty?”

“Why don’t I show you, baby?”

They spent another hour painting before Yoongi walked back into the room from the kitchen.

“Woah!” he exclaimed as he took in the mess of paint all over the tarp and the little. It looked like more of the colors had ended up on Namjoon’s body than on the actual canvases. “Someone had fun, didn’t they?”

Namjoon looked up at him with a giant grin, his adorable dimples showing as tried to simultaneously hold up the three canvases he had worked on at the same time. “Appa! Lookie! Joonie made the most prettiest pictures ever!”

Yoongi wandered over to take a closer look at the pieces of artwork as Jimin and Hoseok looked on fondly. “That one definitely needs to go there...” The second oldest pointed to the little’s first masterpiece and then to the same spot Namjoon had pointed to earlier, right next to the television.

The little lit up, his eyes so wide they nearly bulged out of his head. “That’s what Joonie said!”

Yoongi chuckled and gestured to the other two, “I think those should go in the entryway. That way whenever someone comes home, they can be greeted with your beautiful pictures.”

Namjoon giggled and clapped his hands together happily at the thought.

The others could only look on with heart eyes. They were all so damn whipped for the little and he probably didn’t even realize the extent of it.

Yoongi did a double-take as he caught sight of the ocean painting, “Uh...who painted this one?”

Hoseok snickered again, “Jiminie did.”

Jimin reached over and smacked him on the shoulder, “Shut up!”

“Well,” Yoongi began in a teasing voice, “It looks like...something else, that’s for sure.”

Jimin pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. Hoseok cooed at him and leaned over to pinch his cheeks, only to have his hand smacked away.

“Anyway,” Yoongi straightened up, “I came to get you because dinner is almost ready.”

Namjoon’s eyes lit up before they dimmed a bit once more, “Joonie has to help clean up, though.”

Jimin and Hoseok moved to either side of him and pressed kissed to each of his cheeks. “We want this to be a special day for you, baby,” Hoseok said, admiring the blush on the little’s face at their blunt displays of affection.

Jimin hummed and finished, “So just this once, you don’t have to help us clean up.”

“Really?”

Hoseok chuckled, “Yeah, bub, why don’t you go with Appa and get yourself a bit more cleaned up for dinner, huh?”

Namjoon eagerly accepted the oldest rapper’s hand and let him lead the two of them from the room.

Jimin sighed as soon as they were gone, his head in his hand and a smile on his face, “God, he’s so adorable. He’s gonna be the death of me.”

Hoseok scoffed fondly, “That boy only has to smile and I’d willingly give him the world.”

Yoongi used a cloth to clean up the worst of the splattered paint (he wasn’t sure how he managed it, but Namjoon had gotten some vibrant purple behind one ear and neon orange behind the other). He didn’t worry about getting everything since he knew the little was going to be having a proper bath after dinner.

“Did you have fun painting, bub?” he asked as he wiped some blue from between the younger’s fingers.

Namjoon nodded and swung his legs where he was seated on the bathroom counter, “It was the bestest, Appa! Joonie likes all the pretty colors!”

“I can tell,” Yoongi teased, “How did you get so much green on your feet? Weren’t you wearing socks when your Eomma and I dropped you off in the living room earlier?”

The little gave him an innocent smile, “Yeah, but Joonie wanted to paint with his feet!”

Yoongi blinked, “And your Daddy and Oppa let you do that?”

“Mhm, they thought it was funny!”

Of course they did, Yoongi thought to himself with an inner eye roll.

“Well then,” Yoongi grinned at the other, “I think it’s dinner time.”

Yoongi hitched the little up on his hip (the others were always amazed that the rapper, who had little to no muscle, was able to carry him, but he wasn’t that weak, okay?) and walked them to the kitchen.

When they arrived, everyone else was already seated at the table and they all turned to them at their entrance. Jungkook and Taehyung, who Namjoon hadn’t seen since he’d gotten home, gave him bright greeting smiles.

Namjoon saw the food on the table and promptly gasped, “Chicken nuggets! And mac’n’cheese!”

“Your favorite,” Jin said with a smile as Yoongi moved to place the little on the oldest’s lap. Jin scooped up a spoonful of the macaroni and cheese and lifted it up to the younger’s mouth.

Namjoon eagerly accepted the food, “Yummy!”

Jin kept feeding the younger, alternating between the macaroni and cheese and the chicken nuggets. Namjoon ate all the food with gusto, swinging his legs back and forth from his spot on the oldest’s lap.

The others were only eating half-heartedly, much too interested in their leader’s little side - well, all except Jungkook. The maknae was stuffing his face with food like it was the last meal he was ever going to eat.

“Jungkook, that’s gross,” Jimin commented as the youngest attempted to chew without fully being able to close his mouth. Jimin scrunched his nose up in disgust, “Please, stop.”

“This shit’s great!” Jungkook exclaimed, shrinking when five hands all reached out to smack him for swearing in front of the little. “Ah! Sh - sorry, sorry! But this is so tasty. Can we have this for dinner every night?”

Five mouths opened to shoot down the idea when one spoke up excitedly, “Yeah! Joonie want this every day!” Namjoon grinned, showing off his dimples. “Oh, please!” he added hastily, never one to forget his manners.

Taehyung cooed loudly and reached over from across the table to bop the little on the nose, “Oh my god, I really can’t say no to you.”

“But we will have to this time,” Jin said, giving the others a pointed look before focusing back on the little in his lap. “It’s not healthy to have this food every day, but if you’re a good boy I think we can have it more often.”

“M’kay!”

Hoseok and Jimin made simultaneous noises that sounded similar to that of a dying whale at the cuteness.

Namjoon promptly looked up at them with worry, “Oppa! Daddy! Are you okays? Do you have booboos?” his wide, innocent eyes and adorable pout were too much for the others to handle.

Yoongi was the one who answered, “They’re fine, baby. They’re just being silly.”

“Oh, okay!” Namjoon’s mood did a one-eighty and he was back to his grinning self.

The rest of dinner was pretty uneventful - aside from Jungkook nearly choking from how fast he was eating, but Hoseok gave him the Heimlich and Namjoon only had a mild heart attack at one of his caregivers nearly dying, so it was fine.

After dinner, the others were put on dish duty while Jin and Yoongi gave Namjoon a proper bath.

The little had a blast playing with the toy boats in the nice warm water of the bathtub, so much so that he almost didn’t want to get out when it was all over. The promise of cuddles made the decision easier, though.

After toweling Namjoon off, Jin put the younger into a diaper (he nearly slapped himself when he realized they had all forgotten to do that earlier) and slipped him into the cutest frog onesie. Yoongi distracted the little by making funny faces for him and making him giggle behind his green pacifier.

It was common for Namjoon to slip further into his headspace the more tired he got, and the bit of energy he had regained by slipping earlier was slowly fading.

As the three of them began making their way down the hall, Namjoon dropped down to the floor and began hopping in clumsy movements, “Ribbit! Ribbit! Joonie is froggy!”

God, they were so whipped for him, it was ridiculous.

They entered the living room (now cleaned up from the art session earlier) to find everyone scattered on the couches and few bean bags, television paused on one of the little’s favorite movies.

“Tangled!”

Namjoon scrambled to lay on top of Jimin, Hoseok, and Jungkook, who were already a mess of tangled (haha) limbs. They preened like they were the chosen ones while the other three rolled their eyes and tried to hide their pouts.

Yoongi climbed into Taehyung’s lap where he was lounging on a bean bag while the oldest took a seat in an empty one next to them.

The movie played and they all genuinely enjoyed it, even if they were constantly distracted by Namjoon’s cute little giggles and wide, intrigued eyes.

Soon enough, the credits were rolling and Namjoon’s eyelids were drooping.

“I think it’s somebody’s bedtime,” Taehyung mused, getting up from the bean bag chair and going over to pick up the sleepy little.

Namjoon nuzzled into his neck and sighed contently.

Jin and Yoongi first came over to press mandatory kisses to the little’s cheeks, whispering their goodnights to him.

Then came Hoseok and Jimin, who followed the oldest members’ actions with matching kisses on the little’s reddening cheeks.

Taehyung carried Namjoon back to his bedroom, Jungkook not far behind him. By the time they’d changed into their own pajamas, the little was pretty much asleep.

Taehyung and Jungkook exchanged fond smiles before crawling under the covers and settling on either side of the little. Namjoon gripped onto Jungkook’s t-shirt and cuddled into his chest, his other hand reaching back weakly to grab onto something of Taehyung’s, which ended being his wrist. Taehyung complied by wrapping his arm around the little’s stomach.

“Thank you. For taking care of Joonie.”

The two of them opened their eyes at the little’s words.

“Oh, you’re welcome, baby,” Taehyung replied with a kiss to the back of his head. “We all love taking care of you.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook agreed, kissing the little’s forehead. “You always take care of us as our leader when you’re big, and we take care of you when you’re little. It’s a win-win.”

Namjoon let out a tired giggle behind his pacifier, “Love you, hyungie. Love you, DaDa.”

“Love you too.”

Arms tightened around him from both sides and Namjoon couldn’t help but smile as he settled back into Jungkook’s warm chest.

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A/N: There will never be enough Namjoon appreciation fics. Hope you enjoyed adorable Joonie!

Let me know what you thought! Comments and likes are greatly appreciated.

If you would like to request a BTS littlespace drabble, you can go to my Request Guidelines page :)

Happy Birthday, Namjoonie!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

[stardustandash]

Fic Recommendations

Its Author Appreciation Day so here are some of my favourite fanfics! Go give them some love!! 

The list here is long, but not nearly long enough, it’s only made up of fics that I have reread at least once in the last 3 months. If any of y’all want recommendations for more (or other fandoms) hit up my inbox!

Dragon Age:

1. hit me double hard by spectre_tabris is my favourite AU fic ever. A FemInquisitor/Cassandra fic.  Its a modern AU, with Lavellan being a student/TA at university, and Cassandra is a detective. A real good slow burn friends to lovers type romance, and does an excellent job of bringing all the characters to a modern setting. Also features a Leliana/Josephine wedding if you love that ship as much as I do!

2. Ok its not actually a fic but Project Elvhen by FenxShiral is AMAZING, it is a language lesson for elvhen with breakdowns of grammar, sentences, conjugations, phrases, you name it. They’ve also made a dictionary. Its honestly the best fan made resource I have ever seen. If you write DA fic please check it out!

3. Shattered Souls and Weary Hearts by thunderscape7 is another AU with a ship I don’t usually go for, Marian Hawke/Varric, but it makes for a nice fic. Hawke joined the army at 19, and after an injury she is discharged and tries to settle into civilian life with the help of Garrett, his bf Fenris, and the Kirkwall crew. 

4. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Weak by dramasweety is a fic I’m always super pumped for seeing that new chapter email in my inbox. Its a Dorian/Lavellan fic that takes place after Inquisition but before Trespasser. Lavellan is kidnapped by slavers and taken to Tevinter, where he loses his memories and yet manages to bump into Dorian. Little by little Lavellan regains himself with the help of Cole, Varric, and Dorian. 

5. The Tower translated by soriso and written by le_mru is a gorgeous FemTrevelyan/Cassandra fic translated from polish. Its the first fic in a series and oh my god I love it so much. Its an epic romance with lots of chivalric flavour where Trevelyan and Cassandra met pre-Inquisition with Cassandra as a true Pentaghast dragon slayer and Trevelyan as a circle mage. If you like high fantasy you’ll like this fic!!

Check, Please!:

1. Olympic Caliber by Claire3467. Where Bitty never joined the Samwell hockey team, but befriends them nonetheless after he starts using Faber as his training facility. Its still endgame Bitty/Jack and boy does Jack fall hard in this one. There’s only six chapters as of yet but man oh man is it great. Bitty is also a bit of a celebrity and is (as we know) a damn good figure skater. 

2. Nothin’ could ever change by ofherlionheart. Is an AU in the slightest sense; the only difference is that Bitty has an older brother, Tommy. This fic always gives me the warm and fuzzies. The gist of it is Tommy has always been and will always be Bitty’s big brother, no matter what he sees when he stumbles upon Bitty’s vlog. Features the residents of the Haus totally mistaking Bitty’s brother as Bitty’s boyfriend in 10/10 comedic fashion.

Final Fantasy XV:

1. Elixir by Mayoki. This is pure hurt/comfort. Literally. Each chapter one of the boys faces down things like status ailments, allergies, and other fun stuff and gets appropriately cared for (in platonic ways) from the other three. It was written before the game’s release so there are things that conflict with canon and are very au, but all in all a great fic if you’re in the mood for some h/c. All the chapters are labelled with what kind of hurt and what character is getting beaten by the author for easy browsing if you just want to read one kind of story or for one character.

2. Just in Case I Need You by ayuhime is a really well done IgNoct AU. No royalty, none of this crystal business, its actually more of a sick fic than anything else. Noctis suffers badly from chronic fatigue and Ignis is the caregiver hired by his father to help look after Noctis. It’s definitely a slow burn fic, though it does a good job of describing the good days vs bad days of people with chronic illnesses or pain. Fluff and some h/c. 

3. About time to set up camp? by tactical_nuclear_penguin is a great collection of moments behind the scenes or expanding them. This was a fic I followed from chapter 4 or 5 to completion at chapter 20, and update day was the best day! No ships, just the boys loving each other like brothers. I have definitely gone back to reread it after it finished.

Voltron:

1. Singularity by this_book_has_been_loved is a fantastic fic where Pidge, upon exiting the wormhole in the s1 cliffhanger, is spat out not in the trash nebula, but instead near a Galra prison camp containing one very important prisoner. Pidge goes through a series of trials in order to reconnect with the team and rescue Matt. Uses female pronouns. I’m a sucker for the family stuff and this was great for both Holt family feels and team as family feels. 

2. Phantasmagoria by VelkynKarma is again Pidge centric, and is a great creepy fic. The team is split up exploring an ancient castle made from a tree and Pidge gets the uncanny feeling like something is watching her, and that feeling evolves in many scary and hallucinogenic ways while the rest of the team tries to find her. 

[regressionuncensored]

Why I Left Agere...

I’m submitting this on anonymous because I do not feel comfortable giving out my new URL– especially with this controversial opinion I’m about to give. I don’t think age regression is healthy. My therapist did not think my age regression was healthy. Over the three years I’ve been in this community I have not improved mentally by any margin– and here is my story. TW: grooming mentions, swearing, pedophilia mentions, mental illness mentions, possible sexual assault mentions. Read with caution if you’re triggered by any of these things. I will jump right into this without making introductory small talk. I have OCD. I have the delusion of being dirty by even thinking of sexuality in any form. The forced sexualization of agere (even if it’s claimed to be “nonsexual”) is too much for me to handle, and it’s very clear that it overlaps with kink in many areas even if you don’t want it to, or say it doesn’t for you. Somehow, saying your regression isn’t sexual has wrapped around and become sexual again– read in between the lines of any cg / little post and you’ll see what I mean. Anyway, daddy / mommy / caregiver– rather we like it or not– are terms associated with kink and they have been for several years, even before agere. The only time it isn’t is when actual, real children use it as a nickname for a parental figure, or if a person is giving care to someone who is physically unable to help themselves for a medical reason. This is the only time the term is not sexualized because people don’t know about age regression and they more than likely never will. Secondly, the amount of minor and adult relationships in cglre are ridiculous (you all know very well who I’m talking about)– but as an added example, remember the eighteen year old being groomed by a twenty eight year old and none of you said anything about it because it was “not sexual”? Yeah. “BUT SHE WAS EIGHTEEN WAAAHHHHH” I don’t give a fuck, that’s no excuse for a twenty eight year old to be interested in someone of that age and if you disagree you need to rethink your life. Cglre is grossly predatory from my experiences and the things I have witnessed there have made me report multiple blogs to NCMEC because that’s how disgusting it is, and every single cg needs to think hard about their interactions towards minors (THAT INCLUDES EIGHTEEN YEAR OLDS). Adults (AKA people in their late twenties and early thirties in this case) in this community should be absolutely ashamed for interacting with minors– and I’ll be watching the notes of this post, too! I’ll report you if I have to! Not to mention when Tumblr blocked the tag for adult content it was for a reason. “C” “G” “L”. Caregiver/little. Aka a kink with a power exchange. You can’t slap “regression” on the end and expect it to magically become safe for work… look at your tag for fuck sakes. People are constantly cross tagging it with kink tags. It was a mistake right from the beginning and everyone refuses to acknowledge it because it’s inconvenient for them to– just like me having this opinion is also inconvenient for them. As for chire, it fell apart way back when mod wolf got called out for being a pedophile and Donut got called out for being a mega jerk. The new chire community is empty and is filled with recycled ideas from 2017. It’s dying, and I think it should stay that way, but I have to applaud them for actually trying to keep kink out of their coping mechanism by not using the word CGL– other than that, it’s the same community as cglre, but it’s more successful for being safe for minors, where cglre is not (and still is not) and has failed miserably at doing so, despite the many block lists the community has created. Let’s not even mention their allowing of truscum and transmeds and how they did absolutely nothing to keep their trans members safe– I see you, cglre mods! Averting your eyes has been the death of your community, and the reason for this entire letter. Don’t even try to tell anyone in cglre this, though. They’ll just act like literal children… but, like, accurately for once, unlike the cheap baby talk they always use. They just plug their ears and go “Nwooooooo it’s not bwecause it’s rwegression and you’re just a bwig fwat mweanie head :((((((( I’ll tell my dwaddy on you.” The cringe writes itself and I don’t even support cringe culture. That’s not even a healthy way to think, by the way. You just decided it was to go along with the majority’s opinion. Regression is so harmful, especially for people like me who already have issues becoming adults due to my BPD. I am leaving this entire community utterly upset for what it’s done to me– and to see minors regressing to a younger age WHEN THEY’RE ALREADY MINORS is absolutely ridiculous. There are better, healthier coping mechanisms than sticking a pacifier in your mouth and calling your musky-husky-two-month-old-boyfriend “daddy”. Take a walk. Learn to knit. Bake cookies. Practice mindfulness and thought correction. Do CBT and DBT. Literally any of those are better than regressing– any good, licensed therapist will tell you this. Mine did. If yours didn’t, find a better one. You are only hurting yourself by regressing. You are only hurting yourself by refusing to grow up and be an actual, functioning adult in society– and if you can do that and regress? Good for you. The fourteen year olds in your communities can't– and they especially can’t have caregivers (especially when none of you can take care of yourselves at that age already), otherwise you may need to report that to the authorities. I know no one in this community will, though, because the last person who did that was chased out of your community. I saw it with my own two eyes. There is also a reason porn bots and daddy dom blogs follow you against your will. It’s because, rather you like it or not, are participating in age play at the end of the day. Not all age play is sexual but it is most definitely a kink and I highly recommend the Wikipedia article on it, as it provides accurate information to what everyone is really participating in (look, I’ll even tell you if you’re lazy or angry at me to click: Ageplay or age play is a form of roleplaying in which an individual acts or treats another as if they were a different age… wow, sounds very familiar, eh?). It’s really all regression is– age play made out to be therapeutic, but in reality, holds people back from accepting their problems and permanently harms their state of mind. Is it really any surprise that people who act like children will also do so when shown the cold, hard facts? Amazing, really. And to be honest- this is just my opinion– there’s nothing normal or therapeutic about a thirty four year old wearing a diaper and sucking on a pacifier claiming their healing from past trauma. I won’t believe you for a single second if you told me that. It’s not healthy. I don’t see any of that stuff outside Tumblr (except a poorly written and unsourced Wikipedia article) unless it’s attached to age play or ABDL– and that’s the facts. Not to mention the original age regression article specifically fucking states that it’s a hypnosis technique used in therapy, but is incredibly controversial as it provides negative results most of the time. Do your research– I know you won’t, though, or else you’ll get five page call out and get suicide baited off your blog (way to go, cglre. Suicide bait the people who don’t need it unlike, you know, TERFs or MAPs). Anyway I’m going to wrap this lengthy ramble up here and watch all the anons come in and attack me. Worst case scenario they’ll poorly dissect my letter without textbook psychology sources and think that they won– the equivalent to the pigeon shitting all over the chessboard quote. Sorry for the oncoming shitstorm in your inbox… remember to block if you have to. I know I have.

Love, A very hurt and tired former member of the agere community.

_______________________________________________________ I agree with some of what you said but I think there are some main things I need to point out.

1. I think your mental illness is changing how you perceive things. I have ocd and I am scared of animals cus I think they are contaminated but I decide to examine why I am having these fears and challenge myself because I could not live well if I didn’t. 

2. I regressed when I was younger like an actual kid. From guess what? Trauma!!! Yeah I was stuck at a younger age and guess what I am now! I have been in therapy since I was four but regression does actually help me. I don’t think regression on it’s own fixes anything but along with therapy (I currently do DBT) I think it’s fine!  3. Just cus you think it’s weird does not make it bad. Maybe a grown adult never had any trauma resolved (or just thinks it’s fun) and it relaxes them. Then WHO CARES if they don’t think it’s kink and they are not being sexual in anyway then WHO CARES. I am sorry but by saying regression is ageplay (even nonsexual) is sexualizeing people who regress. 

4. Kink is not bad and even if it is it’s not your job to tell them. I mean people are drug addicts and that’s bad but I don’t make it my job to tell them that it is. I mean there are people who use drugs (like drugs and alcohol) and are fine! Even if you think drugs are gross if people are not addicted then it does not matter. Like with anything weather pain or smoking weed if you are doing it for the wrong reasons. (not mentally stable, a minor etc) then yeah it’s bad but the average person who has a few drinks a week or even one drink a day is not actually in harm's way and does not need your input. (for anyone who didn’t follow drugs are kink I know bad analogy cus kink is even less harmful but whatever.)

Yes I think we need to protect minors and maybe even age gate it a bit (like I see 11 year olds here and like I was not mature enough to be here at 14 soo) but I think what everyone here is tired of is being told we are gross. That we are sick, crazy, stupid, sexual etc by everyone. Look I don’t like agere either i’m going to kink as soon as I can cus that’s what fits me better but making people feel gross fixes nothing it just sorta makes you annoying. CGLRE (you have a clear bias for chire even though I know you have issues with them too) has worked hard to be a safe place. I know kinksters and miseducated regressors might use the wrong tags but the issue is them not cglre and people can be non comm if cglre is not for them. Why not educate I mean I write stuff on this blog hopefully to show and honest side of agere and I want to educate not shame. Also it’s kinda hard to have a nonsexual kink that you do alone (most of the time) with no power exchange......well i’ve rambled enough but I think you get my point. There is nuance to this issue and people need to know both sides. My side has points and so does yours but people need to hear both and I really don’t suggest shame as your vehicle to get your point across-Lyra

[logical-little-lies]

Block Towers and Desired Independence- Agere!AU (Part 38)

A/N: This is another simple side chapter that follows CG!Logan and Toddler!Patton through the day. I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but I threw out a chapter-idea related to Patton being bratty for the first time a while ago, and now i'm bringing back to write something. Hope yall like it.

Also this includes Patton crying, and pulling himself out of little space for a bit to talk to Logan easier. but also fluff.

--

"Patton, baby. I wanna get upppp," Logan whined, half asleep with Patton still laying on him from the night prior. Patton had declared that he was spending the night with his boyfriend the night before because 'Logan worked too hard and they never did anything romantic'. Of course Logan didn't mind to cuddle him, or entertain the fact that Patton wanted a cutesy and overly-romantic relationship with him, but Logan still had a hard time waking Patton up in the morning most of the time.

"Noooo, wan sleep," there came his sleepy words of defiance as he snuggled his head into Logan's chest. Logan's eyes widened, and he softened his voice a bit.

"Am I talking to my boyfriend or my little?" he asked, waiting for an answer before continuing. Patton lifted his head, looking up at him.

"...little?" he was hesitant, hoping that Logan wouldn't mind that. "I-is that okay? I can stay big if you want me to-" Patton wasn't completely regressed yet, but he was close to it. Whether or not he'd let himself depended on if Logan was up to playing the caregiver role.

"Of course it's okay," Logan gave him a soft and reassuring smile before continuing. "I just wanted to know if you were little or not. How small are you feeling today, sweetheart?" Logan sat up, forcing Patton to do the same. Logan should've expected this, Patton regressed easily, and he went to bed happy and excited. Positive triggers like positive emotions can make Patton slip sometimes.

"I don't knowww," he whined, pouting.

"Am I gonna have to deal with a fussy little one today?" Logan teased, raising his eyebrow. Patton sat up completely, looking down and blushing a bit.

"Sorry," he apologized for whining. Depending on how little he was, he would whine and get upset over anything, though he was usually a fairly happy baby. Kinda similar to how Virgil got fussy sometimes.

"It's alright. How about we go to your room and get you ready for the day?" Logan offered, Patton nodding a bit. He was in pajamas, but he still would like a onesie. Logan was able to climb out of bed now that Patton had move off of him. He reach over to his bedside table, handing Patton his glasses and putting on his own.

"Come on, baby," Logan instructed, touching his feet to the ground and standing up completely. Patton came and sat on the edge of the bed, making grabby hands to be picked up. "Darling, I just woke up. Could you walk for now?" Patton pouted, "I'll hold your hand instead." Logan offered.

Patton settled, Logan helping him off the bed. Today was gonna be a fun day.

--

Patton sat on his light blue playmat, covered in a white star pattern. He wore a white onesie, his kitten pacifier sitting in his mouth. He wore a slightly visible white diaper under the clasps at the crotch of his onesie. As usual, he regressed younger once Logan started babying him and getting him into little clothes.

A stuffed bear sat on the mat near him, and he was currently playing with baby blocks. He stacked them up in little towers, until he hit something and it came crashing down. When that happened, he'd whine slightly and pout around the pacifier before starting over. Logan sat in front of where he was facing, helping him stack the blocks as high as he could.

He reminded him that it was okay every time the blocks fell, and would help him start over. "Papa, helppp!" Patton whined, harshly throwing the baby block in his hand down on mat in frustration. The other blocks came tumbling down onto his lap, and he retracted his legs so that they were pulled up to his chest.  

"Baby, no throwing things, remember? It's on your rule list." Logan scolded a bit, gather the blocks from around the boys legs. Once he had collected them and moved them to the side, Patton returned to a criss-cross-applesauce position. Patton pouted a bit.

Patton huffed, ignoring his statement and starting again. He was so set on stacking every single lock he owned into a single tower. Now, Logan could admit that the boy was creative. He had started making pyramids, forming bases with some blocks before deciding that they didn't count as a 'tower' and that they weren't tall enough. But Logan didn't think it was good for him to be so focused on one thing, and get frustrated when it didn't work.

"No, no, no!" he shouted around the pacifier, it sounding more like an angry babble. Angry tears came to his eyes as he huffed and crossed his arms. He kicked his feet out, somehow hitting Logan's knee.

"No shouting or kicking, please take a breath." Logan commanded, taking his hands in his. He pulled them away and continued his frustrated tantrum. He was glad that everyone was gone currently. Roman had left earlier that morning to go hang out with Remus, and Virgil went to the dark side tower with Janus. So Patton wouldn't be as embarrassed later for his sudden outburst.

Logan internally panicked, not knowing what to do. He did the same thing whenever he had to look over Virgil or Roman, and they misbehaved. He was a good caregiver, for a perfectly well-behaved baby.

"Darling, calm down a bit. Take a deep breath-" Logan tried his best to speak in a soft, guiding voice that wouldn't upset him more. He was interrupted by a baby block hitting hit square in the forehead, his eyes coming to focus on a still-angry baby with crossed arms.

"Patton, I told you not to throw things already..." Logan hesitated, knowing the given punishment that the others would've given to their littles if they acted like this. He didn't know what was wrong, but he did know that he'd have a hard time doing this. "Go sit in the timeout chair, immediately." He spoke in a harsh voice that would've definitely make Patton cry usually, regretting it right after.

Logan was able to pinpoint when the realization that he was in trouble, that he did something wrong, that Papa was upset with him had hit him. Logan stood up, reaching down for his hand. Patton felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, and he wanted to burst into tears already. He took his hand, and allowed his caregiver to lead him over to the small white beanbag in the corner. It faced the wall, and it was placed there so that the littles didn't have to go to their rooms each time they got in trouble when they were in other parts of the house.

The only exception to this was Virgil. He was anxious, and he didn't get put in timeout anyways. But if it did get to that point, he'd hate to be punished in front of anyone else, so Roman would take him back to his room. Logan softly lifted him up, setting him down.

"Take deep, deep breaths until I tell you timeout is over, okay?" Logan spoke softly, leaning down next to the baby's ear. "It's gonna be okay," he promised, kissing the side of his face before backing away. Patton hadn't replied, and he focused his eyes on the wall around him. Logan knew those words of reassurance weren't gonna go far, considering that fact that he had still put him in timeout. In the mind of a little, that probably showed that he was still upset and such.

He sat on the couch, watch Patton's back intently. It was only a few minutes before Patton busted into tears once again, and Logan gave in instantly. "Shh, shh, shh. You're okay, Papa's here," he lifted him up from behind,turning him around so that he was properly holding him. He hugged him tightly, the boy's state of sobbing not changing in the slightest. Logan rushed over to the couch, sitting down so that Patton was sitting on his lap.

"I'm sorry that I put you in the corner so quickly, there must've been another way to deal with this. You're just a baby, of course you're gonna throw fits sometimes. I'm so,so, so sorry sweetheart," Logan was rambling on and on, apologizing and hugging the boy.

"Papa isn't mad?" Patton interrupted him eventually, speaking in a wobbly and shaky voice, still sniffling a bit. That broke Logan's heart. How could he be mad at his baby?

"No! I just didn't know how to deal with you not listening to me and I jumped to doing what the other sides would, but you're different and I'm different and I'm just-" Logan seemed to be panicking about his mistake, but he stopped himself from spiraling. He did something wrong, and now he'd deal with the situation if this ever were to happen again. He took a moment before speaking,focusing back in on the point.

"I'm not mad, baby. But can I know why you got so upset about the block tower?" he asked softly, brushing a bit of Patton's hair out of his face.

Patton whined,very small and not capable of forming full sentences. He had already been reaching out of his usual headspace just to speak any words at all. He tried his best, though,talking in a very babyish tone. "I wan do it right! Can't do things well when I'm like dis and I don't like it..." his voice seemed to get a bit bigger near the end of his statement. He spat his pacifier out and it hung from his paci clip.

He didn't move out of Logan's lap, but Logan could tell he had pulled himself out of headspace in favor of talking to him for a bit. "I um, was kinda set on doing something harder by myself. Because when I'm little I'm not good at doing things by myself most of the time and I depend on you a lot, when I'm supposed to be the 'dad' the helps everyone else." he explained in pure vulnerability. Logan still had no idea how Patton pulled himself out of his headspace, he was surely unhealthily repressing it, but he'd leave it for the time being.

"Patton, how long have you been stressing about this?"Logan questioned firmly, looking at him. Patton scrambled out of his lap, feeling uncomfortable and sitting next to him instead.

"Um, a while, I guess. That whole thing was my childish attempt at being independent, and it didn't work so I got frustrated with myself and threw a fit. I'm sorry..." Patton seemed embarrassed, and guilty. It felt weird seeing Patton expressing these traits, because it felt almost uncharacteristic for him. Logan knew that those traits didn't exclusively belong to Virgil and Roman, but it surely felt more usual coming from them.

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize. Or feel guilty because I punished you," Logan promised. Patton gave a little unsure nod, Logan continuing. "And the whole point of your regression is to let go of those responsibilities. You don't have to be independent, and you don't have to try and do things yourself. You're just a baby sometimes, and babies aren't expected to be able to do everything independently, right?" Logan raised his eyebrow,giving the boy a knowing look.

Patton sheepishly shook his head, uncomfortably shifting in his onesie and diaper. That either meant that he felt big and didn't like being dressed like a toddler, or the baby clothes were making him wanna be small again. From how he was acting, Logan figured it was the later.  

"And neither are you. Stacking all those blocks that high seems like a simple, babyish task, but there is so many that the balance of the tower is knocked off my the time you get halfway done. Also, you can't stand well, so once the tower reached a certain height, it's pretty much impossible for you to add to it. You're also clumsy so you knocked it down multiple times as well," Logan explained a couple reasons why Patton was unsuccessful with his tower idea, causing the boy to pout a bit. "You were asking yourself to do something impossibly hard for someone who is mentally less than one year old. It's no shock that you weren't able to do it well, sweetheart."

"I guess I didn't think that through, huh?" Patton laugh at himself, looking kinda disappointed.

"Aw, baby. You're fine, I promise you." Logan spoke in a reassuring way before he kept speaking, "Now, next time you get frustrated like that, I want you to take deep breaths and then talk to me about what's wrong, alright? You're allowed to be upset, but throwing things and kicking people is not the correct response to that." Logan lightly scolded him, Patton obediently nodding.

"Okay, Papa! Gonna be better, promise!" he cuddled into his side, silently asking for comfort as he quickly regressed and fell into headspace. Logan softly kissed his forehead before replying,

"You're already perfect, sweetheart." Patton blushed at that, sliding his pacifier into his mouth. Logan used his power to turn on Mickey Mouse on the tv in front of them, summing Patton's stuffed bear and hand-held rattle from the play mat.

Patton spent the next hour or so babbling along to the Mickey Mouse characters, bouncing when he was excited, and shaking the blue rattle. His giggles always followed the rattle noises, and he seemed pretty content with the situation.

Of course, he eventually fell asleep cuddled up to his Papa. Some things never changed, like their dynamic. How much Logan cared for Patton, little or big. How grateful Patton was for everything his boyfriend did for him. How much the sides saw each other as family, as support.

But other things did.

And what they didn't know, is that a lot would change soon.

Very, very soon.

--

A/N: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE: A) don’t hate me for not posting much, I’m having agere-specific writers block and I’m trying my best, and B) send your reactions to this in my inbox, I love seeing them! It can be the most random thing, a thought that popped in your head at a specific line, WHATEVER! Seeing positive reactions to my work encourages me to write, so please help a girl out. Okay, hope y’all enjoyed this!

[esoteric-paradox-blog]

#MeToo

Trigger Warning: sexual assault & molestation

Let's get personal, and not in a fun way. I'm about to share some things that I don't like to talk about, but I'm going to anyway. Why? Because I want other women to know they aren't alone. And I want men to know that their behavior is something that can impact someone's life forever, so they should think before they act. And please spare me the "not all men narrative." I am addressing every single man right now, and as a survivor of assault, I have every right to do so.

The first time I was assaulted I was 6 years old. I was at a sleep over at my best friend's house. While I slept next to them on their living room floor, A Bug's Life flashing on the television screen, their father molester me. I was 6 years old. I had no idea what had just happened, but I knew it was wrong. I knew I was supposed to stay quiet, not that I would have even known what to say had I felt like I was able. I didn't have the language to tell anyone what happened at 6, sexual terms not on my comprehension level or in my vocabulary. This person stayed in my life for the next 5 years. While it never happened again, I never forgot it.

When I was 12, puberty took hold full throttle. I was already in a C cup bra and my hips reflected the curves of a full grown woman. That's when I got catcalled for the first time. I was hanging Halloween decorations outside with my parents when a truck full of men rode by, hooting and hollering at the 12 year old body I was just growing into and trying to understand. I asked my mom why those guys were yelling and she said sometimes, men yelled out their windows at women they thought were attractive, trying to make me feel as if I should be flattered that these grown ass men were admiring the body of a 12 year old.

When I was 13, I finally told someone what happened when I was 6. I told my best friend at the time. She told me she had been molested as a child too. It was all starting to make sense now, and I didn't feel so alone. I decided to tell my parents now that I had found my voice all these years later. Both of them remained stoic, saying how they had no idea. No apologies or compassion shown. I'm sure they were just in too much shock, but a hug would have been nice. They never contacted the authorities. It was never mentioned again except for my mother telling me years later she hung out with him and his wife and I "would be very pleased" because the man who had molested me at 6 years old was "in poor health and miserable."

2 years later I was 15. Hormones raging, inhibition a foreign concept. I found a person I thought I was in love with. I wasn't really, but at 15, anyone who shows you attention and has a handsome face loves you, right? He was 20 years old. I was 15. I lost my virginity to this man. What did he have in common with a 15 year old at that stage in his life? I guess that his hormones were also raging, inhibition not being in his vocabulary either. He treated me very poorly - threatened me, told me I wasn't allowed to have male friends, gave me drugs to manipulate me.

I went to a concert with this boyfriend and had my behind pinched by a grown man. No one noticed but me, and I kept it that way. After all, with his firey temper, it would surely be a bad idea to tell him, probably even be my fault somehow. I was 15 years old.

Once that relationship ended, I jumped into another one - this time with a 25 year old. I was still 15. Today, as I write this, I am 25 years old myself. I can not possibly imagine being sexually attracted to a 15 year old child. At the time, I felt so special; all these older men were attracted to me because I was mature for my age, right? He used to get me drunk then take pictures of me once I fell asleep. He once told me to be quiet when we had sex in his apartment. I thought maybe he just wasn't into noisy girls. He also used to always take a bath directly after sex, often times asking me to join. I thought he was being romantic. He was washing away the evidence.

Fast forward to 17, I finally found a boy my age. All the girls wanted him, and I felt so special that he chose me. My family loved him, so much that they let me take him on our family vacation and my aunt sold him her old car. His ex girlfriend reached out to me one day and told me to he careful - he had tried to rape her when they were together. But they were still friends, weren't they? And wasn't she known for being promiscuous? She must be jealous. It had to be a ploy to break us up so she could have him back. After all, she wasn't even wearing underwear at that Halloween party we were at the other night. One day, Mr. Perfect Boyfriend cheated on me. A stranger told me in school - they worked together at a fast food joint, she knew I was his girlfriend and she felt obligated to tell me. She saw him hook up with a coworker in a cooler the other night. I invited him over later that day and confronted him, told him I wasn't sure what I was going to do yet but he was definitely in the dog house until I decided. He didn't like that remark. He pinned me down on my bed, holding my hands down at the wrists with one hand, his other hand desperately trying to rip off my pants. My adrenalin kicked in full throttle and I maganed to kick him off of me. He landed on my bedroom floor and I ran outside. Once I caught my breath, I came back in and he was still there, crying and apologizing, making weird excuses that he blacked out and he had mental health issues and couldn't control his actions. I was 17 years old. I didn't know what was true and what was false, how to feel, what to trust.

At 22, I landed a job I loved as a caregiver in a group home. There was a coworker that I often relieved from his shift or would relieve me who was 40 years old. He seemed nice enough, and we fell into conversation easily. We never worked the same shift, as it was a single person job, but he would often linger to talk, and I didn't mind. What was the harm, right? Isn't it good to have a good rapport with coworkers? He then started buying me random gifts. Strange, sure, but maybe he was just a generous guy. There are still good people left in the world, right? It made me feel uncomfortable that he gave me things, it seeming out of place. But how do you say no without offending someone? I didn't want him to think I was unappreciative, so I let it go. After all, he knew I was engaged - I talked about my fiance all the time. He couldn't mean any harm, right? This then transpired into him wanting to hang out outside of work and take me places. He claimed he got tickets to events for free because he owned a record label and he was offering to take me because he knew I would enjoy it. I didn't think there was any harm in hanging out with a coworker outside of work. People went out for drinks after work together, yes? This would be similar, surely. We hung out a few times and then something uncalled for happened. One night, he tried to kiss me on the clock. I told him he needed to leave and that was uncalled for, and he did. He tried to act normal after that, but it wasn't, and I let him know. Not long after, he snuck in without me knowing while I was asleep at work. All of a sudden, I felt him laying next to me on the couch, holding me, his manhood pressed firmly against my leg. I was scared beyond belief, a cold running through me that froze my movements. I was paralyzed. I didn't know what he was going to do to me. Eventually he ended up leaving. I don't know what changed his mind, but I was lucky that night. After that I told him we were no longer friends. He had a wife and there was no reason for him to be trying anything with me, he could go home to her. The next few nights, he broke into my work again, crying, begging me to forgive him and be his friend, insisting he had never crossed any lines and that was what friends did. I screamed at him each time, ordering him to leave and he would refuse. This was my nightmare at work, repeating itself nightly, this man I was afraid of badgering me while I was trying to do my job. I was too scared to call the authorities, so eventually I tearfully confided in my other coworker what was happening. They reported it for me, but unfortunately, I was not believed. This predator spun a story that we were messing around and things went south, me being bitter about it. I was removed from my position and reassigned somewhere else. Me, not him. I was 22 years old. I was an adult, wasn't I supposed to be able to handle these things easily and know what to do? And weren't people suppose to believe the victim, not the predator? 3 years later and this man still attempts to call and text my phone. I still do not feel safe.

Today, I am 25. I am engaged to a man I have been with for almost 6 years. Never has he made me feel unsafe in any capacity. He is my age, a few months younger actually. We have a son together who is almost 2. I am proud that he has a father that is such a good role model. I plan to raise my son to prioritize the safety of women and treat them as his equals. I am a loud and proud feminist, as is my fiance. Hopefully my son will follow in our footsteps.

Writing this was extremely uncomfortable, but I am glad I have done so. Never do I want men to think it is okay to terrorize women. Never do I want a woman or girl to feel ostracized because of experiences beyond her control.

#metoo

[logical-little-lies]

Making Up and Making Out-Agere!Sides AU (pt.32)

warnings!!: Implied making out/smut near the end, and panic attack/mental breakdown in first scenes of this chapter!

Little Roman was panicking. He wanted to cuddle and be held by Virgil, but he felt like he didn't deserve it. He wanted comfort, more then anything. But he wasn't ready to ask for it. He was scared, and lonely. His breathing speed up, and his eyes glossed over. The rule was that he had to find his carer when he was little, and if he wasn't available, find Patton or Logan to babysit.

Virgil wasn't exactly unavailable, but he was close enough in Roman's mind. Roman had never felt so anxious while little, he sniffled and tried to slow his breathing. He'd helped Virgil through enough panic attacks to know what was happening. He tried to be big, he swears, but he couldn't seem to erase the childlike fogginess. He was in pajamas still, he hadn't gotten up to eat, and it was at least noon.

Roman was trying to gather the courage to go out and find one of the glasses-clad sides when a knock sounded at his door. He whimpered. What if it was daddy? Would he be angry, and yell again?

"Roman, it's later than usual for you, and I just wanted to ask if you were okay," He heard Virgil's voice first, followed by Patton's.

"If not, maybe we can talk this over while making cookies?" Patton was the one who decided to turn the doorknob and let himself in. Virgil's eyes landed on Roman, who had obviously been crying. Roman found his bunny stuffed animal from Easter, quickly cuddling it to his chest in order to try and calm himself down again. You could tell he was visually panicking.

"Roman, are you alright?" Patton was quick to run to the side of the bed, crouching down to Roman's height. He gave a pout while motioning to be hugged by Patton. "Oh no," he muttered, looking to Virgil, "The emotional stress must've caused him to regress."

Roman was in Patton's arms quickly. Virgil tried to come stand by Patton, but Roman shied away.

"Woah, what was that for?" Virgil tried to lighten the mood with a chuckle.

Roman lifted his head out of Patton's chest. "What is it, little prince?" Patton had the strength to hold him up with one arm, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Daddy's mad at me....yelling was scawy," he sniffled again, and Patton held him close.

"You don't need to be scared of me! I didn't mean to- ugh," Virgil stopped his quick rambling. "I wanted to talk to big Roman, work this out." He didn't mind having little Roman, but he hated that he was scared, and reassuring a five year old was gonna be more tough.

"You can't be upset with him for regressing though, this is probably the most emotionally draining situation he's been in...well, since he's begun regressing. Try talking to him?" Patton spoke over Roman's head, moving to set him back down on the bed. The affection seem to stop his tears, and slow his breathing again, but he was still scared.

"Princey, I'm sorry I scared you. We both said things-" Virgil was cut off by Little Roman.

"no, no, no, I was bad! Now you're angry at me, because I got angry with D-dec..Janus!" Roman seemed to look guilty, casting his eyes down.

"How about you have this discussion when he's big? He's obviously not in he right headspace to talk about this, and he's not gonna listen to it coming from you. I can talk to him, and we can try again later?" Patton interrupted, and both Virgil and Roman seemed relieved.  

"You can go for now, Vee. I got him," Patton promised. Virgil left on that note, leaving Patton to help Roman get ready for the day.

"So? Is he quite alright?" Logan stood, leaning against the counter, sipping a cup of coffee. Janus sat on the table, shifting his attention to Virgil. There was literally a chair, multiple chairs, actually. Right there. Why sit on the table?

"He's little," he paused, looking at Logan, who looked to Janus.

"Oh, I know already, spare me the dramatic reaction. I'm a little too," Deceit rolled his eyes, Virgil chuckling slightly. Logan seemed confused, pausing before nodding. He gave a silent shrug and took a sip of his coffee.

"So, he regressed. Emotional stress and anxiety combined will do that. But how come you came back, and Patton didn't? Is Roman okay?" Logan questioned again.

"He's scared of me. He thinks that I'm mad at him, and he's scared I'm gonna yell at him. When I tried to apologize for yelling, he stopped me because "he was bad". Way to break my nonexistent heart!" Virgil seemed pained, groaning. Logan moved to pour him a cup of coffee. Logan himself had had some earlier, and so had Virgil. But he definitely needed more.

"So I'm guessing Patton took over then?" Janus asked.

"Yeah, he's not accepting my comfort while little, and that's a serious conversation for when he's big. So unless Little Roman comes around when Patton talks to him, then I have to wait until he comes out of his involuntary regression," Virgil accepted the black mug Logan handed him, taking a seat next to Janus on the table.

Not at the table. On the table. Chairs are useless, obviously.

"I'm sure Patton will take care of him just fine, let's hope he comes around with Patton's comfort, yeah?" Logan spoke, trying to comfort Virgil, who felt all types of terrible.

"Let's hope so," Virgil lifted his mug to his mouth, taking a long drink of the energizing liquid. Today was gonna be a long day.

--

"All ready, little prince?" Patton watched Roman mess with his hair in the mirror. Patton brushed his hair, helped him wash his face, and do a small self care routine, to hopefully make the boy feel better. You could barely tell he had cried.

"veevee gonna be out there, Pat!" Roman whined. He wore a light blue sweater, that was big on him and was definitely stolen from Patton, but wearing the clothing that smelled like cookies was comforting to him. He wore black leggings with it.

"I can promise you, Virgil is not gonna yell at you. He isn't even angry anymore, he just wants to talk things out," Patton picked up his stuffed bunny from the bathroom counter and handed it to him.

"Still nervous, tho. Janus gonna be out there! He don't know that m' a little, what if he makes fun of me?" Roman questioned.

Patton hoped Deceit wouldn't mind this, "Honey, he knows about us. He found out when he was here a little while ago, and he regresses himself."

"Oh," Roman looked down. "Is it bad that m' scared to talk to vee?"

"you're anxious, that's all it is. You were thrown into a involuntary regression and you can't help it, and you can wait to talk to Virgil until you're big. But know, he is not mad at you, and he is really sorry that he yelled at you like that," Patton leaned forward to kiss his forehead softly.

"B-but! I yelled too, n' I insulted Dee, n' I was really mean to both of dem. If I did dat while little, Vee would make me say sorry to him too," Roman bit at his lip.

"Like I said yesterday, we all kinda did stuff. And whether or not you apologize to Janus, is your decision to make, but I support you no matter what," Patton promised.

--

The whole day. Literally hours passed before Roman acknowledged his own caregiver and boyfriend. He played with Patton, and cuddled up to his side. At first, Virgil hung out in the commons, talking to Janus quietly. Then, him and Janus eventually left to go to his room, because they weren't getting anywhere with Roman.

Roman wasn't regressed quite as deeply anymore, still little, but not in an anxious babyspace. Logan could hear the loud giggle coming from the kitchen from his room, at the end of the hall.

Roman covered his mouth, "Sorry! Didn't mean to be so loud, oopsie!" Patton chuckled at him action, removing his hands from his sides, where he had been tickling him. Roman sat on the kitchen counter, currently, because Patton stood right there while making dinner.

"Time to get down, we're gonna eat now," he instructed, trying to take his hand to help him down. Roman pulled his hand away.

"I like this spot," he swung his feet a little.

"Roman," Patton gave him the same caregivery look Virgil gave as a warning, the next step usually being a stern scolding or timeout. "It's time for dinner," he spoke again.

Roman shook his head, "I wanna stay here."

Patton internally groaned, he hated being strict, especially with littles who were sensitive.

"Now, baby, I know what Virgil would do and I don't wanna have to do that. Be a good little prince and listen to me?" Patton looked at him again, hoping he'd give in. He stood in front of him, so when Roman swung out his foot more harshly in annoyance, he managed to kick Patton in the stomach. His eyes widened.

"D-didn't mean to! Don't wanna hurt you!" he looked at Patton apologetically.

"You didn't hurt me. Just be more careful, I know you were annoyed, but there's other ways to take out your anger rather than aggression," Patton knew he didn't mean it, and it didn't actually hurt him. "Come on, kiddo."

Roman pulled his hand away again, shaking his head. Patton gave him a much more stern look. Roman whimpered, "I'm sorry! I get down now?" he held out his hand for Patton to help him. Which he did, he hugged Patton, resting his head on his chest.

Roman was noticeably shorter than usual. Logan had a theory that they subconsciously regressed physically in certain aspects. "You're okay, honey. How about you make it up to me by getting the others for dinner while I set the table?"

Roman eagerly nodded, making his way through the hall to get the other three.

--

"I'm telling you, whenever he's big again, he's gonna apologize and you're gonna be able to talk it out," Janus sat on Virgil's bed, Virgil next to him. They were covered in blankets and surrounded by pillows.

"I know, I know. But when we walked in this morning, he was having a break down, and panicking. I induced some form of a panic attack for him, and I feel so bad for it," Virgil groaned, leaning his head on Janus's shoulder.

"It's gonna be alright. And plus, Roman's actually pretty cute while little," Deceit tried to shift the subject.

"Yeah, a cute brat," Virgil scoffed. "He thinks rules and listening to his caregiver are optional."

"I'm sure it isn't that bad."

"The first time he regressed he threw a sippy cup at Logan."

"I will never question you ever again."

Their eyes snapped up when Roman knocked on the door lightly, and opened it. "Hi, sweetie. What's up?" Virgil spoke softly. Roman didn't seem as scared of him, but still visibly nervous.

"I helped Patton made dinner, he told me to come get you guys..." he looked down, shuffling his feet a little.

"Oh, well, we will be out there in a bit," Janus spoke this time.

Roman didn't move, looking up at Virgil with guilty eyes. "What is it, do you need something else? You wanna talk to me?"

Roman nodded, quick to approach and climb onto the bed. Virgil scooted away from Janus, and let him sit in between them. Roman silently cuddled into Virgil's side, and the anxious side hesitantly wrapped his arm around his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"So am I. But, besides that, are you okay?" Virgil asked, ruffling his hair a little.

Roman nodded. Janus watched the sight in front of him.

"I was scared but I know you don't like yelling at me, and that you didn't mean to upset me that much. So m' sorry, daddy," Roman was shocked by the tight hug Virgil pulled him into.

"It's okay. And you're right,  I don't like yelling at you, and I didn't mean to upset you. We both got caught up, and were emotional. It's okay now, right?"

Roman shifted to look at Janus, nervously looking up at him. "I-i'm sorry, to you too. I was mean, you're name isn't weird and-" Roman huffed, trying to come up with words.

"I accept your apology, Roman. I understand what you're trying to say and I forgive you. And I also apologize for comparing you to Remus, that wasn't fair to either of you," Janus gave a soft smile, and Roman nodded.

"Thank you!" he cheered, feeling so much better than before already.

"Ro? Are you wearing Patton's sweater?" Virgil noticed, and Roman blushed.

"It smells like cookies! And it's soft!" he let out a giggle, it ringing out louder when Virgil starts to place kisses all over his face.

"You're my little prince, and I love you so much," Virgil stopped his act of dorky affection, leaving Roman red-faced and smiley. "Go out there with Patton, I'll be out there in a second."

Roman, now much more cheerful than when he entered the room, nodded and left. Janus climbed off the bed and helped Virgil up. "See? It's all fixed," he said, and Virgil rolled his eyes.

"And it was much easier than I thought it was gonna be," Virgil sighed in relief.

"told ya so," Janus stuck out his tongue,causing Virgil to roll his eyes.

--

IMPLIED SEXUAL THINGS/SMUT IN NEXT PARAGRAPH. NOTHING BAD, JUST IMPLIED

The next morning, Virgil woke up in Roman's bed. Images of the night before popped in his head. Roman coming out of regression after dinner, talking to him for a while. At some point the talking faded into kissing, then making out. You can fill in the blanks on what happened next.

Roman also planned to give Janus an apology later in the day. Everything was gonna be okay. Things were starting to get back to ‘okay’ again.

For now.  

a/n: i’m now the ceo of barely getting on tumblr for weeks and then droppig in w/a new chapter at 3 am. Whoops, that’s just how writers block works. Also writing a chapter for little vlogs,,,might be out tonight,,,,may be out in three weeks idk yet.