#depends on how quickly i get settled in my New living situation or how fast i empty the inbox

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

k i thiiiiink i'm gonna close my inbox for a Bit bc there is... so much in there... and more gets buried with each new ask & i Want to get to them all! but there are ninety-five (95!) asks in that box rn. and i know from experience that if i don't take care of it that number will build to ungodly levels, and then it'll get so overwhelming i won't be able to get myself to answer Any <3

[scarfacemarston]

please do a fluff prompt for abigail roberts marston, my beloved <3

I rp Abigail so I'm ALWAYS happy to indulge. Prompt here if you want anymore. L: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)- I don't know if Abigail would say I love you first if it's a new relationship. It depends actually on how it ended with John. It would be more likely be a conscious decision on her part rather than it being blurted out - but in a high stakes situation, you never know! It just depends on how safe she feels and at that point, but I think she'd show it in every way she could without saying it first. I think she'd hope the reader would say it first so she wouldn't have to because I hc and believe that Abigail said it first to John and so that makes it scarier for her to be "in charge" again but, if the moment is right she'll do it. Does she say it all the time? I don't know. I think she might say "love you" kind of quickly and quietly instead , or keep them for more quiet moments at first. Definitely night time before sleep. It overall depends on how safe she feels with you/John. If she's with Sadie, there is a lot of guilt involved at first because she doesn't want to push her into anything she doesn't want, but I think it would happen relatively quickly once the dust has settled in the gang.

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every detail in passing, or do they kind of forget? ) Abigail remembers everything, including things you wouldn't want her to remember. She is meticulous in remembering things like dates and coordinates , directions to travel somewhere or orders to take on a heist. Drink orders at the dive bar she works at in a Modern Au , details about patrons like who will grab asses, who tips well, who tips like shit. When a sex worker, she'd remember who to avoid servicing if she could, when she needed to avoid someone, if someone had a particular fetish, etc. She'll remember everything down to the littlest detail because it's her perfectionism. She does not have a photographic memory, but this is something she strives for. She lived in a time where someone had to be quiet and bide their time just in case their safety called on it. (Ex: knowing dirt on someone, knowing when to be quiet, knowing where to be, how to avoid something) Modern au: But on a lighter sense, she won't forget a birthday, or a dance recital, a baseball game, Jack's projects or tests, and if you have university or a job, she'd help you as well. If It's Sadie, this includes her contracts and her borderline outlaw activities. Unfortunately Abigail hates remembering those because it reminds her of the danger Sadie could be in. She wishes Sadie could just put the guns away and help out on the ranch, but she knows it's not that easy. Now, she does need to look at agendas and sheets every once in a while to refresh her mind, especially if things get chaotic, but she has a huge memory bank R: Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?) She would love for John or a reader to take her out of home, out of town and they drive somewhere to get a nice view. I was thinking as sappy as it might sound - a sunrise because Abigail is usually up for those, but if the reader or John aren't usually morning people, that's a bonus as it would would show they're sacrificing her sleep for Abigail. (Of course, Abigail isn't always happy to be woken up at that time and it's dark, but she's perfectly fine - if not tired - afterwards. Something like getting coffee and breakfast afterward would make it even better.

But she'd also enjoy a sunset in a flower meadow and a meal whether it's a picnic or somewhere cute to eat where she can enjoy her meal and people watch.

U: Ugly (What would be a bad habit of theirs?) She worries and paces so much I bet she could make a mark on a wood floor. I'd also say maybe checking in on people too much. Some people like Jack and John think it's bossy and nosy, but she's trying to help for the most part. If it's Jack or John.........or Uncle, she's trying to make sure they're behaving..

On a lesser scale, she either seems to have great posture, or really bad posture, no in between, it seems. Finally, her squinting at the sun really damages her eyes, causing her a pain.

[forrestfanfics]

So This is Love || Age of Ultron 11: “Boy Maximoff”

“So This is Love” Masterlist

Previous Chapter  ||   Next Chapter 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Do you see..."

My attention was pulled away from the ascending land when Ultron's voice echoed throughout the city.

"The beauty of it? The inevitability? You rise, only to fall."

More buildings on the edge of the floating island collapsed with the lack of support, causing the civilians below to run.

I felt bad, being unable to get them out of there. I could bubble them but moving them would mean accidentally launching them away.

"You, Avengers. You are my meteor. My swift and terrible sword. And the earth will crack with the weight of your failure."

I spotted my dad hovering a bit beyond the island. It was hard to tell what he was thinking at that moment, and I could only hope he was thinking of a way to stop this.

"Purge me from your computers, turn my own flesh against me..."

An arrow from Clint came hitting Ultron dead centre in the face, knocking him down, only for another to come up behind it.

"... It means nothing. When the dust settles, the only thing living in this world... Will be metal."

"Hey, Dad?" I spoke into my earpiece.

"Oh, thank God. Are you okay? What happened?"

"Yeah, I'm okay... I-... I need a new suit, though." I said simply.

"What?"

"Well, I just found out that I could- I actually don't know what happened. It was sudden and my arm just-"

"You can explain later. I got a situation."

My dad flew overhead and straight into a building.

Then came another voice.

"The rest of us have one job, tear these things apart." Steve spoke.

"Oh shiiiiiit." I didn't realize he was there the entire time I was bantering with my dad.

"You get hurt, hurt 'em back... You get killed, walk it off."

"Great pep talk, Cap," I mumbled.

"Great Batman impression, kid."

"Thanks. I'm working on it," I sassed.

Another round of mini Ultrons arrived at the island, allowing me to further experiment on my new abilities that seem to constantly come out of nowhere.

I readied myself to run at one when a body harshly collided with my own.

"Sorry!" A hand landed on my upper arm, and I was met with greenish eyes belonging to boy Maximoff.

"Hey! Hi!" I greeted.

"Move," he simply said.

I stepped aside and watched as he zoomed past me and into a bot that was seemingly charging at me from behind.

He zoomed back and pointed a finger at me.

"Oh, it's you. You're Tony Stark's kid, yeah?" He asked, taking a proper look at me.

"Yeah, Y/N. You're the fast guy," I pointed out.

"Yes, Pietro. You make... Bubbles?" He leant forward with a small shake of his head.

I sucked in a sharp breath. "Yeah. Nice to meet you," I held my hand out.

"This is your first time, I presume." He hesitantly shook it before going to zoom away.

"Yeah..." I scratched the back of my head.

"Oh wait!" I called out.

He managed to run a few feet before stopping to look back at me. The frantic look on his face let me know he was in a hurry, so I quickly spat it out.

"There's this new thing I learned I could do with my powers. I don't know how to do it again."

"What do you want me to do?"

I pursed my lips. "When you... How are you able to- to-... To... Go zoooom-"

He clicked his tongue. "Uh, concentrate really hard. It really depends on the thing you want to do. For me, it's muscle memory and for Wanda it's usually because of strong emotions," he explained as fast and as simply as he could.

"Thank you! I'll try to take that into consideration..."

"Oh, and one more thing. This. This whole thing. Usually a lot less small talk. Less talking in general. Preferably none," with not a second wasted —and with a strong gust of wind— he was out of sight.

"Thank you!" I shouted, although he was already too far to hear it.

With the first piece of good advice in a while, I actually felt a little encouraged. A little.

I looked down at my exposed arm, thinking about how I was going to approach this.

It felt very different from bubbling or shooting myself in certain directions or walking on walls.

If anything, the burning sensation I felt when doing all those things was centralised in my hand.

If I could channel the energy into my arm again, then I could probably form it into a blade on demand.

Pietro mentioned strong emotions. A lot of what happened to me came from extreme fear or excitement.

I am on the verge of shitting my pants right now... So that's a start.

●    ◉    ◎    ◈    ◎    ◉    ●

The end of the first wave finally came, and I found myself leaning against a building to catch my breath.

The amount of energy I used up was too much. The purple veins appeared again, and my vision started to blur.

If another wave of bots was coming, I couldn't go on in this state.

I haven't even heard from my dad in a while. I was starting to wonder if he was okay.

I haven't seen much of the Avengers since we started, besides Steve and the Twins.

My dad was right. This was difficult. Having the strength to fight an army of robots while making sure civilians were safe while keeping tabs on your teammates...

I felt like giving up.

On being an Avenger, at least.

I needed much more training than I was already getting... Which was none at all.

I sighed, knowing this would be my last mission in the meantime. I was nowhere near ready for another one, let alone missions that put the fate of the planet in my hands.

My gaze landed on Nat and Steve, who were standing by the edge of the island, looking over the sea of clouds.

I managed to gather enough strength to limp my way to them.

"Y/N?" Nat was the first to notice me, meeting me halfway and catching me in her arms.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She looked mortified. "Look at you! You're-"

She paused, stunned by my heavy wheezing and popping veins.

"Wendy, check for vitals," the hazy voice of Steve came into the mix of screaming and buzzing.

"Body temperature is at 32° Fahrenheit or 0° Celsius. Pulse rate is at 200 beats per minute. Respiratory rate is at 35 respirations per minute."

"Oh, sweetheart..." Nat whispered, running a finger along my hairline.

"She's stable."

Nat took a double take at the man behind her. "Stable? This is far from stable! She's- she's dying!"

"Trust me. This right now is normal for her body. She just needs some time to breathe," Steve explained.

Nat shook her head. "I don't understand. What are you talking about? What is going on with her? Why is she here?"

"There's a lot to explain. Right now, we focus on the task at hand," Steve walked away, only for me to hear his voice through comms.

"The next wave's gonna hit any minute. What do you got, Stark?"

"Huh? Nothing great." My dad answered. "Maybe a way to blow up the city. That'll keep it from impacting the surface if you guys can get clear."

"What did he say?" I choked out.

Nat immediately put a hand on my chest, shushing me. "Relax, Honey. Focus on me. Focus on your breathing."

"I asked for a solution, not an escape plan." Steve replied.

My dad sighed. "Impact radius is getting bigger every second. We're gonna have to make a choice. And if it ever comes to that... Please... Get my daughter out of there."

"Wait. What? I don't get it. What does he mean by that?" I asked.

Nat gulped. "There's nothing to worry about. Come on."

With my arm under her shoulder, Nat helped me back towards Steve, who was ready to take my other arm.

"Cap, the people are going nowhere," Nat said. "If Stark finds a way to blow this rock..."

"Not 'till everyone's safe."

"Everyone up here versus everyone down there? There's no math there." Nat argued.

"I'm not leaving this rock with one civilian on it."

The finality in his voice made me feel nauseous.

Of course, it could've easily been the exhaustion...

"I didn't say we should leave," Nat looked up at him.

Steve, having not once spared her a glance, finally looked her in the eye.

Nat nodded her head. "There's worse ways to go."

I coughed. "What?"

The two adults shared a look.

"You're not... Planning to- to sacrifice yourselves, are you?" I asked.

Nat closed her eyes, completely ignoring my question.

With a heavy sigh, she opened her eyes and turned her attention to the horizon.

"Where else am I gonna get a view like this?"

"Glad you like the view, Romanoff. It's about to get better.

Steve and I followed Nat's stunned expression and watched in astonishment as the Helicarrier rose from the sea of clouds.

I stuttered out a laugh. "Holy fucking shi-"

"Watch the language, kid." Nick fucking Fury laughed through the comms.

I would've given a witty response if I didn't start coughing all over Steve's shoulder.

"Nice, right? Pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do."

"Fury, you son of a bitch," Steve mumbled.

"Ooh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

I scoffed. "To be a kid."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Hayloft p.4

Pairing: Arvin Russell x F!Reader

Summary: Your dad brings home his new coworker, Arvin Russell, telling you that he’ll be living with the two of you for a while. While attempting to keep Arvin from seeing the disfunction of your relationship with your father, the two of you grow closer than you thought. (Inspired by “Hayloft” by Mother Mother, though that’ll really only be one chapter later on so I don’t know if it really counts…)

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, death, abuse, and sexual assault (depictions of none, though), alcoholism/ drunkenness, mentions of teen pregnancy, mentions of infidelity, murder

Word Count: 6.4k

A/N: Pretty lightly edited, just a warning

Read the Previous Chapters!

Part 1  Part 2 Part 3

“Hey, hun, what can I getcha?” You leaned into your popped hip, pen and notepad in hand.

A man you hadn’t met before, clearly someone just passing through town, was sitting across the diner bar in a light blue button-up and suspenders. He was fairly clean cut save for the day-old scruff across his face. He studied the menu intensely before setting it down and looking up at you with a sweet-as-pie smile. “Can I please have coffee with some cream and the grits?” He asked with a southern drawl.

You scribbled down his order on the notepad, “That all?”

“Mhm, I think so. Thanks doll.” He slid the menu towards you before reaching for a newspaper that had been left on the counter beside him by the last patron. You turned around to pin the man’s order on the little turnstile for the chef when the little bell on the door rang.

Tucking your notepad back into the apron tied around your waist, you grabbed the pot of coffee from the counter and poured the man a cup of the rich black liquid. Next, you prepared a little ceramic cup of cream and walked back to set them on the counter in front of him. His polite thanks were only the background when you saw Arvin walk behind the man and shoot you a smile before settling down in a seat at the bar only a few seats away.

You walked over to him and leaned on the counter with a smile, “Well, hey there stranger. You on lunch already?”

Arvin nodded, looking to you hopefully, “Yeah ‘n I was hopin’ you might be too so I could grab a bite to eat with my favorite girl.”

“Shh!” You hushed him with exasperated wide eyes, like it should have been obvious that he needed to keep his voice down, because in your mind it was. You nodded your head to the other patrons in the diner. “Y’know word travels fast in little towns like this ‘n I don’t need my daddy findin’ out ‘bout us,” you whispered to Arvin who sighed in annoyed understanding. You knew he wasn’t annoyed at you but the situation was less than ideal.

He tapped his fingers on the counter and his knees bounced under the bar, “So is that a no for lunch?”

You glanced over your shoulder to look at the clock that hung on the wall. It was only eleven in the morning but maybe you could ask Charlene if she could cover so you could take an early lunch. “Let me double check real quick.” You held up a finger to excuse yourself into the back to find your coworker.

No more than ten minutes later, you and Arvin walked out to his car with two take-out boxes of burgers you had managed to swipe from the kitchen in hand. He slid into the driver’s seat while you planted yourself beside him in the passenger’s. You handed him one of the boxes of food before opening your own and

digging into the small handful of fries. “So how is your day going so far?”

Arvin took a large bite of his burger, covering his mouth with his hand has he tried to speak and chew at the same time, “Ain’t too bad. I got an engine to rebuild for an old Ford when I get back but nothin’ too terrible. How ‘bout you?”

“Ready to go home already,” you chuckled, popping a fry in your mouth, “But it ain’t too bad here either. Just would like to not be here.”

Arvin laughed a little beside you, “I know how that feels. Thanks for the burgers by the way. I appreciate it. I don’t want you gettin’ in no trouble for stealin’ food.”

You shrugged off his concern, “Don’t worry ‘bout it. If people don’t eat it, it just goes in the trash anyways. I ain’t gonna get in any trouble.”

He let out a heavy breath, resigning to your insistence, which he really just found an adorable confident stubbornness. A comfortable silence fell over the unmoving car as the two of you ate your lunches in the parking lot. When you finished chewing your bite, you looked over at Arvin, “How long you been livin’ with us?”

Arvin looked up at the brick wall straight ahead in thought, “Maybe five months now. Longer than I meant to-"

"I didn't mean it like that! I was just wonderin'...." you got awkwardly quiet for a moment, "Havin' you 'round has been the best five months in a really really long time."

"For me too. When I came into town, I thought I'd be livin' in my car. Didn't know how lucky I'd be gettin' to live with the most beautiful girl in the world." His hand reached over to your thigh, squeezing lightly.

Even after all of his sweet affections and compliments, they never failed to make your cheeks ache from trying not to blush and smile like a schoolgirl. “You really think flattery will get you somewhere?” you giggled teasingly, turning towards him and nudging his leg with your hand.

“Well it got me in your house so…” He teased back, something that he had been doing more often in the last few weeks. Arvin had never been the most humorous of people, aside from the occasional chuckle or hidden smile. That had been changing since the two of you had gotten closer though.

“Uh, no! It might get you kicked outta my house though if my daddy ever finds out.” It started as chuckle but the words faded into concerned worry as you realized how true they could really be.

Arvin sensed the shift, “You really think your daddy would kick me out if he found out ‘bout us?”

You nodded, “Without a doubt. Would probably throw me out too.” You shifted so you were sitting on your bent leg, suddenly uncomfortable.

He began cautiously, “I mean… would that really be such a bad thing?”

You whipped your head to look at him, “I ain’t got nowhere else to live right now. I been savin’ up for a year to move out but it ain’t enough to buy a place of my own yet.”

“How much you got?”

That number was in your head immediately, one that you kept a running total of with every paycheck. “$4,317.” It wasn’t enough, though, and you knew it. Even the old run down houses around town cost $12,000, which meant you weren’t even halfway to the fixer-uppers, not that you minded buying a fixer upper. “I don’t need a mansion or nothin’ but it ain’t nearly enough for even something small.”

Arvin chewed his lip, thinking about the box of cash he’d been stashing away with each of his paychecks as well. He knew exactly what it was like in your position, struggling to save up the money to get on your own feet. He hated relying on others and, even though he really liked you, he hated depending on your and your father for shelter. “You ain’t gonna be stuck in this ol’ town forever,” he promised you and it came out just like that. A promise. “You’re too good for this place.”

Another smile forced its way onto your face at his words of hope, “I’ll get outta here eventually…”

Suddenly, a familiar male voice yelled your name and you flinched. You turned towards the voice to see your boss, Harold, standing at the backdoor of the diner with his hands on his hips. He gave you a stern look and tapped the watch on his wrist before pointing at you then jabbing his thumb over his shoulder towards the door.

“Shit! I totally lost track of time!” You scrambled to gather up the trash from lunch and stuffed it into the paper bag you’d brought it out in. “I’m sorry, I have to run!”

Arvin had nearly jumped out of his skin when your name had been yelled, the only person he’d ever heard calling you that way being your father. He crumbled up the paper wrapper for his burger and stuffed it in the paper bag for you. “‘M sorry. Didn’t mean to get you in trouble with your boss.”

“Nah, he’s fine,” you waved off the worry dismissively, “He acts all tough but he ain’t nothin’ but a softy.” You opened up the door and began to slide out when you stopped and took a quick glance around. Nobody was in the parking lot, or really anywhere in sight for that matter. In an impulsive swift action, you grabbed Arvin by the collar of his greasy shirt and pulled his lips to yours quickly before pushing him before anyone could see.

He looked stunned, big brown eyes wide and shocked by your courageous kiss. Your heart raced and your cheeks flushed with the exhilaration of actually sneaking a kiss to Arvin in public. It was a dangerous move but your dad was at work and there was nobody else around to see. You tried to hide your excited smile by chewing your bottom lip but it didn’t work. “Thanks for lunch, Arv.”

“Uh - y-yeah. Thank you for the burger.” Arvin stumbled over his words while you slid out of the car and closed the door behind you, leaving the poor boy struggling to make his brain catch up to reality.

“See you at home!” You waved one last time before turning. Arvin watched as you jogged back to the entrance of the diner, your little dress bouncing with every movement. You turned to give him one last glance before you disappeared behind the door.

Work had passed rather uneventfully for you. You put in the last few hours of your shift, went to the grocery store, and then headed home to start on dinner.

Arvin, on the other hand, the rest of his day at work had shaken the good feeling he’d had since his lunch break with you. He had found himself with a wrench in hand, trying to bolt back in the engine he’d been rebuilding for the last few hours. Grease smeared across his shirt, pants, and face despite how hard he tried to keep his dirty hands from ruining his clothes. Even if they were work clothes, he didn’t have that many sets of outfits nor the money to go out and buy more.

“My cousin lives o’er there with his wife. Said the sheriff up and disappeared for a while but they found him dead in the woods.”

Arvin’s head nearly hit the hood of the car that was propped up when he heard those words. He looked over his shoulder to see Davis and Fred, two of the other guys that worked at the mechanics shop, talking over two cans of beer.

“You hear anythin’ ‘bout that, Arvin?” Davis asked, sipping his can.

Arvin’s heart twisted in panic but he shook his head like hadn’t heard what they were talking about, “Hear ‘bout what?”

“Few months back, the sheriff in my cousin’s hometown turned up dead. Someone shot ‘im in the woods outside o’ some small town nearby. His name was like Lodeck or Bodecker or somethin’ like that.” Davis explained the story to both of the guys.

“Eh, pro’lly had it comin’,” Your dad came entered from the storage room with a handful of bolts, “I know I’ve met some sheriffs that deserved a bullet between the eyes.”

Fred rolled his eyes, “Yeah well you’re an angry drunk so I’m sure you’d say that ‘bout anyone who took a drink from you. I’m sure this guy wasn’t that bad. What kinda sick fuck you gotta be to shoot a sheriff? This ain’t no wild west movie where you go gunnin’ down the law.”

“Nah, I heard he was a no good son o’ a bitch. Guess his sister and her husband got murdered the day before. Found tons of pictures o’ them kissin’ on some dead guys. Some real sick shit, Fred. Sheriff might have been in on it too. Regardless, my cousin said he ran into ‘im one time with his wife and the sheriff really was a bastard,'' Davis shrugged off Fred’s comment, refuting the tragedy Fred was trying to make Bodecker’s death by tarnishing his name.

Arvin’s heart was racing and he began to feel dizzy. The images of those few days had haunted him since they had happened but he had found himself thinking about it less and less as the days passed.

“Arvin?”

Arvin shook his head out of the clouds and snapped back into reality, “What?”

“You came into town ‘round the same time all this happened. Did you hear anythin’ about it?” Fred questioned, wiping his greasy hands on his jeans.

The young man just shook his head, “Nah, I ain’t heard nothin’ ‘bout it till now. I heard ‘bout the sister though. Sounds like she and her boyfriend were no good.”

“You know what I think?” Your dad began, picking up a wrench and pointing it in Arvin’s direction, “I think our man Arvin here did the sheriff in!”

Arvin stiffened up, “What? Why would you think that?”

“You come strollin’ along through town with nothin’ but a backpack and no backstory ‘bout the same time four people turn up murdered. Mighty suspicious.” Arvin tried his hardest to stand tall and not allow his fear to show but the tension in his jaw was bordering of painful now.

Davis swatted at your dad, “C’mon, leave the boy alone. There’s gotta be thousands of people in that area that coulda murdered them. Can’t imagine Arvin doin’ such a thing.”

Arvin was grateful for Davis’s trust. If only he deserved it.

“I’m only jokin’! Y’all a bunch of whiny little girls, can’t take a fuckin’ joke.” Your dad grumbled to himself, swatting his hand towards his coworkers.

“Ah, shut up.” Fred stood up from the table he’d been sitting at and laid back down on the dolley before sliding under the jacked up Chevy he had been tasked with. “Ain’t nobody ‘round here takes you seriously.”

Arvin watched as your dad walked past Fred, kicking him in the leg and earning a loud exclamation of annoyance, but it was as if he were disconnected from the whole scene. He had tried so hard to forget what had happened back in Knockemstiff and Coal Creek, though it seemed damn near impossible considering it had uprooted his entire life. This tiny town a few hours away was his safe haven, his new beginning. He never would have imagined that anyone this far away would have heard about the murders.

Hearing Davis and Fred bring up Bodecker’s name made Arvin’s blood turn to ice in his veins. What kinda sick fuck you gotta be to shoot a sheriff? Fred’s words played over and over in Arvin’s head. This was just what he was worried about. This was why he ran. Nobody would believe Bodecker was trying to kill him first. Self defense didn’t mean shit when it was against the law. The same with Reverend Teagarden. A man of the word? Arvin didn’t stand a chance if anyone found out what he’d done.

“Hey son,” Davis’s soft voice made Arvin nearly jump out of his skin, “Don’t take nothin’ that ol’ man says to heart. I’m sure you know since you been livin’ with him that he’s just a cranky ol’ drunk who don’t know when to shut up. You’re a good kid, Arvin. Ain’t none of us actually think you did it.”

Arvin looked down at where Davis’s hand rested on his shoulder, the same way his dad used to touch his shoulder when he was reassuring him. He forced a small appreciative nod and a strained appearance of being unbothered, “It’s alright, Davis. I know he’s just kiddin’ ‘round. I ‘ppreciate it though.”

_

Your father arrived at home before Arvin, much to your dismay. Elvis Presley’s Blue Hawaii album was spinning on the record player when he came into the kitchen, kicking his boots off by the door.

“Hey, daddy! How was work?” You asked, mashing a bowl of potatoes for dinner.

He made a line directly to the fridge, grabbing a beer and popping the tab off with no effort, “It was alright. Damn Gilligan blew out the transmission on his truck so I been stuck fixin’ that up all day. Lookin’ forward to this right here.” Your father lifted up the beer bottle and sipped it with satisfaction. Yeah, I’m sure you were, you thought, rolling your eyes with your back turned to your dad.

“Well, if you wanna get cleaned up, dinner should be ready in about twenty minutes. More than enough time for a shower,” you offered with a cheerful voice. Lunch with Arvin today had made your day good in a way that was hard to ruin.

“Yeah, I might go do that. What’s for dinner?” Your father walked over and peeked over your shoulder to see what you had cooking on the stove.

“Mashed potatoes, green beans, and chicken.” You cut in a few slices of butter and added them to the bowl of mashed potatoes, sprinkling some salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste.

Expecting some words of discouragement like you usually earned from your father, he just nodded contently and disappeared out of the kitchen towards the bathroom. You turned to watch him walk away, your mouth fallen open in pleased surprise at the fact that you just had a semi-pleasant interaction with your father for the first time in several weeks. You turned back to mixing in the now melted butter into the mashed potatoes when the front door opened yet again.

You looked back to see Arvin walking in through the living room, “Hey, Arv!”

His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and judging by the way his eyes shot up to you, as if he hadn’t expected your greeting, he had been staring at the ground when he walked in. “Hi,” he answered low and short with no emotion one way or the other.

Your brows furrowed, “Everythin’ alright?” Leaving the food on the counter and wiping your hands on your apron, you walked out into the living room towards him.

Arvin visibly took a step back and his eyes widened a little, his shoulders squaring up, “Yeah, ‘m good. Just wanna take a shower.”

Before you could get the words out, he had already begun walking away. “My dad’s already in the bathroom,” you called out after him, finally getting him to stop.

Arvin didn’t turn back to you though, only half glanced over his shoulder, “Oh, alright.” He turned back to continue his walk back to his room.

“Dinner will be ready soon!” You attempted to add, only earning a small thanks in response and the sound of Arvin’s door closing. “O-oh… okay.” You stood alone in the living room, the sound of running water coming from the bathroom and Elvis Presley’s voice filling the room but not loud enough to drown out your concern.

Dinner went by just as uncomfortably. You poked at your mashed potatoes, keeping your gaze stuck down at the food on your plate except for when you glanced over at Arvin who seemed to be actively looking anywhere except for you. This only made you roll your eyes out of frustration and stare back down at your food.

Your dad talked about his day, mostly grumbled complaints, “I don’t get nearly ‘nough respect ‘round here. Damn Fred and Davis callin’ me a drunk. What? A man can’t enjoy a damn beer without being called a drunk! Damn prudes.” When you didn’t respond, he reached over and tapped your arm, “Hey? You even listenin’?”

“Hm?” You tried to make yourself focus on what he was saying this time, “Sorry, long day. What happened?”

“See? I ain’t get no respect at work and I can’t even get no respect at my own damn house from my own damn daughter!” He grumbled, the feet of the wooden chair scraping against the ground as he stood up forcefully, swaying a little side to side but bracing himself on the wall to walk out of the room.

You didn’t even possess the mental capacity to care about his little tantrum. Your mind was swimming with confusion and, honestly, anger, at Arvin’s little unexplained silent treatment. “Okay, what’s wrong?” You asked, leaning towards Arvin.

“Nothin’.” He answered simply, taking a sip of his water. His voice was low and he still refused to make eye contact, despite nothin’ being wrong.

“That’s a lie. Everythin’ was fine this mornin’ and now you’re suddenly not talkin’ to me. Won’t even look at me! What the hell, Arvin? Did I say somethin’ wrong?” Thinking back, there wasn’t anything you had said earlier that you could imagine warranting such a negative response from Arvin so your confusion and concern had quickly turned to frustration.

Arvin shook his head, “No, no, you ain’t did nothin’ wrong.”

“Then what is it?” You practically begged him to tell you. You hated being upset at him when clearly something was bothering him but this felt like he was just playing some broody guessing game with you, something you got enough of from your dad.

Stress shone through Arvin’s eyes and he met your gaze finally, if only for a second, before looking away again. You could see there was a flicker of something you hadn’t seen in him before but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Whatever it was, it was really bothering him and you felt guilty for being upset. You just couldn’t understand why you suddenly were being ignored for something that apparently had nothing to do with you.

“I can’t tell you.”

Arvin’s admittal just made you more upset. “So you’re not mad at me but you’re ignoring me and can’t tell me why?”

Arvin hadn’t seen you look at him this way. At your father, yes, but he was unaccustomed to that raised eyebrow and frustratedly desperate crack in your voice being directed towards him. He hated it. He hated knowing that he was causing you to feel upset and helpless when he was supposed to be your escape from those exact feelings.

But he couldn’t bring himself to tell you the truth. You’d think he was a monster. You’d hate him. He’d lose the one good thing he had in his life because-

Arvin shook his head, “‘M sorry.” He looked anywhere but at you because he couldn’t stand to see the way your face fell, though he could practically feel your heart fall from across the table. He didn’t need to see it. He knew.

“Fine.” You stood up and grabbed your plate, scraping the rest in the garbage and setting the plate in the sink. Your appetite was gone and your patience had snapped, not that you had been the most patient thus far anyways.

Arvin watched as you stormed out of the kitchen, grabbed your coat off the coat rack by the front door, and walked out of the house. His head hit his hands. No matter how hard he tried to protect those he cared about, he only seemed to hurt them more.

-

You hadn’t expected Arvin to find you here so when the door opened to the old barn, you turned around in surprise. You were curled up in your coat, sitting on an old wooden crate that had been untouched in this unused barn for God knows how long. A large window looked out over the large field that had once been the family farm but was now practically a glorified dirt lot. Your coat was wrapped tightly around your body, held in place with one hand while you held a lit cigarette with the other.

“Didn’t know you smoked,” Arvin took a few steps in, his hands shoved guiltily in the pocket of his denim jacket.

You blew out a large plume of smoke that you had been holding in and looked away, “I don’t too often.”

Arvin closed the barn door behind him as he approached you and you had to fight the urge to get up and leave but you knew that made you no less immature than the way you felt he was acting.

“‘M sorry. I really am.”

You took another drag and turned to him, the moonlight illuminating his features - somehow so boy-like but so rugged - and it was hard to stay mad at him. “I am too. I don’t mean to be dramatic but I just… I don’t understand, Arv. If somethin’s wrong, you can tell me. This whole silent treatment BS with zero explanation doesn’t cut it.”

Arvin let out a heavy breath. While doing the dishes from dinner for you after you stormed off, he had had time to contemplate what to do. And he had decided. “If I tell you, it’s gonna change how you look at me.”

Your head tilted up at his cryptic opener but you said nothing, only urged him to continue with your eyes.

With a deep shaky inhale, he started his story, “I ain’t a bad man but I’ve done some bad things. Things that I thought I could run away from. I been livin’ a lie for a long time, actin’ like I ain’t hurt nobody, but it ain’t true.” Arvin paused for a moment to gauge your reaction and all he saw was fear in your eyes, just as he had feared.

A million thoughts of terrible things people were capable of ran through your head as you tried to figure out which one Arvin could possibly be guilty of, though they all felt so out of character for him. Was it murder? Assault? Rape? Thievery? The man you had come to care for so deeply now swam in a murky pool of doubt and distrust. Arvin saw all this and more in your deep, worried eyes.

“What did you do?” Your voice was weaker than you wanted it to be, cracking with fear. Until today, you hadn’t imagined Arvin capable of doing anything that could real harm to anyone, maybe aside from a stupid fight in high school or something along those lines, but you could see it in his eyes that whatever it was he was trying to confess to really was that bad.

Arvin lost his ability to speak for a moment. He had resolved to tell you everything before even coming out here to talk to you but the fear shining in your eyes already had his heart breaking. It was as if every new line of moonlight reflecting off the growing whites of your eyes was a new stain that he managed to tarnish your view of him with. Arvin had to look away because he couldn’t bear to look at you when he finally admitted his crimes, couldn’t stand to watch your face contort in fear when you realized what a monster he was.

“Y-you remember that preacher I told you ‘bout? The one that hurt my sister?”

You nodded, “Y-yeah…”

Arvin swallowed hard and he gripped his thigh tight enough to turn his knuckles white. “Well few weeks after we buried Lenora, a police officer came up ‘n told me the coroner had found out she was havin’ a baby. None of us knew before. I don’t know how but I just knew it was that no good preacher. I didn’t have any proof though so I started followin’ ‘im ‘n found out he was worse than I thought. He was no good to his wife ‘n I saw him out takin' advantage of another girl in town who was even younger than my Lenora was. He was doin’ nothin’ but hurtin’ people ‘n I… I killed im.”

Your mouth fell open, “You- You killed him?”

Arvin looked down at his feet, “I shot him.”

It was silent as you processed the information. This preacher sounded like a terrible man, abusing young girls and leading one to commit suicide. The infidelity to his wife was a moot point against his other indiscretions and even that was unacceptable. It honestly sounded like Arvin had done a service to the world, taking this monster out of it, but it was still difficult to look at him the same after knowing that he had actually shot someone.

When you didn’t respond, Arvin had decided to continue, not thinking he could cause much more damage, “I ran. Left a note for my grandma and uncle and disappeared. I tried hitchhiking my way out of town when I got picked by this couple. They seemed nice ‘nough at first but the husband, he started actin’ real weird. They pulled us way off the road. Said he wanted to take some pictures but then I saw him pull out a gun and then he tried pullin’ me outta the car. I-I panicked and I kicked the door into him ‘n I shot ‘im before he could get me.”

Arvin’s voice was cracking as tears began to fall down his face. It was one thing to replay the memories in his own head but it was another thing entirely to actually confess his sins to someone he cared so deeply about, knowing the truth would most likely hurt you. “The wife, she pulled out a gun and pointed it at me ‘n I pointed mine at her. I begged her to put the gun down. I-I didn’t wanna shoot her. I really didn’t. I was so tired of killin’ but then she apologized ‘n I knew she was gonna pull the trigger. We both shot at the same time. I got no clue how she didn’t shoot me. I fell out the car without a scratch but I when I got up, I realized I got her through the neck 'n she was gone. I panicked ‘n searched the car. Found all these pictures of her all naked and huggin’ up on some naked dead guy ‘n I knew… I knew I was gonna be next.”

Your brain sprinted a mile a minute to try and keep up with the trauma Arvin was confessing and you didn’t know whether to hug him and let him cry on you or run as far away as possible.

“Then-”

“There’s more?” You wanted to beg him to stop talking, to stop telling you about the blood on his hands, to stop telling you about all the suffering he had been through. You sounded shocked and heartbroken and yet none of these tragedies were yours.

Arvin hiccuped and sniffled in a failed attempt to hide a sob. Red had taken over his features, both physically and metaphorically. Obviously distraught by his past and now your reaction, he felt like he was beginning to spiral down that hole of darkness that he had tried so hard to claw his way out of. There were nothing but snakes down there, ready to bite him and poison his mind with the words he had fought so desperately to keep out. Murderer. Stalker. Liar. Sinner. All of these and so many more.

Yet, he nodded, feeling as if he’d still be lying if he didn’t finish telling you everything. When he nodded, you made a small squeak of disbelief.

“I-I ran,” He sniffled out, “I hitchhiked my way back to my old hometown. I didn’t know why at first but I just needed to go home. Felt like maybe I could fix what had been broken there. Went there to find it all burnt down but then this sheriff came lookin’ after me. Turns out he was that lady’s brother - the one who shot at me and had the pictures of the cut up dead guys. He was all angry and wanted to kill me for shootin’ his sister. I tried… I tried to tell ‘im that she was no good and that she was gonna kill me but he didn’t wanna listen. He was shootin’ at me and… and… I ain’t had no choice.”

It was silent, aside from the ambient bugs chirping outside. You had tried so hard to focus on Arvin’s face but you had long since zoned out visually, only able to focus on the words he was saying. How could he have gone through all of this? How could your wonderful, amazing, beautiful Arvin Russell have survived so much suffering and been forced to murder people? Murder.

“Please say somethin’.”

Your lips quivered as your vision came back into view and all you saw was a tearful, fearful, remorseful boy before you on the brink of falling apart. Arvin’s hair was messy from having run his hands through it, his eyes were red and puffy from the tears, his breathing was shaky from remembering. There were no words.

You threw your arms around his neck and held him tightly to you. You didn’t know what else to do. How does someone respond to information like this? There was so much trust that Arvin needed to put in you to tell you - you couldn’t freak out.

“You don’t hate me?” His hands flew to your arms, prying them off his neck so he could see your face.

Your head shook, “How could I hate you for what you did?”

“I murdered four people.”

“You took out a disgusting predator who practically killed your sister and was harming who knows how many other girls. Then you killed a couple of murderers who pulled guns on you first in self defense. And then, yet again, you were put in a life or death situation with a sheriff who was shootin’ at you for killin’ his murderin’ sister. Three of those were self defense and I’d dare say that first one was a public service. You have nothin’ to be sorry for. You have nothin’ to regret. You did what you had to do to survive.” You squeezed Arvin’s hands tightly, running your soft thumbs over the lightly calloused skin of his knuckles.

Arvin looked down at your hands on his, hands that were so much smaller than his own but right now felt so encompassing and comforting, as if they wrapped his own in a blanket of protection. He couldn’t believe you were okay with this. He was barely okay with it. “I don’t regret it but I didn’t wanna have to do it. If I coulda let that lady go, if she only woulda listened to me ‘n put the gun down I wouldn’t o’ had to pull the trigger. I coulda let the cops deal with it. Same with the sheriff. If only he woulda listened… I only wanted to shoot the preacher. I was okay with havin’ that on my conscience. But I had no idea how outta control that day was gonna get. All those cold dead eyes starin’ up at you, watchin’ the life drain from someone’s face ‘n knowin’ you’re the one who caused that... Even if they were real fucked up people, it ain’t a sight that’s easy to see.”

“I can’t even imagine what it must’ve been like, Arvin.” Your hand slid up his arm to rest on his bicep and you leaned your forehead onto his shoulder. His arm snaked around your body and held you close but cautious, like he was scared if he held you too tightly that you’d be scared he’d hurt you too. Of course, you weren’t. The thought did cross your mind that perhaps it was unwise to trust a man who just admitted to killing four people but that wasn’t Arvin and you knew it. “You may have killed people but that does not make you a killer. You’re just someone who was put in some really hard situations and had to make some tough choices.”

You pulled back and put your hand on his cheek, slightly scratchy from not shaving that day, and you spoke gently, “You are wonderful, Arvin. You are caring and hard working and loyal and willing to stand up for what is right. You are everything good in this world-”

“I hurt people-”

“You protect people,” you corrected, “‘N if some bad people had to get hurt to keep the good ones safe, well maybe they shouldn’t have been such bad people.”

Arvin could have melted into a puddle at your feet, and likely would have if you hadn’t been holding him. Never had he expected to tell anyone his terrible deeds and in every imagined scenario in which he did, it had never ended well. He had imagined you running for the hills, screaming at him to get out, maybe even threatening him physically out of fear that he’d hurt you now (which he’d never dream of doing).

But you didn’t do any of that. Gentleness and understanding were far from the reaction he’d expected or even felt like he deserved but nevertheless here you were holding him and reassuring him that he wasn’t the monster he’d called himself for so many months.

“I love you.”

His admission surprised you but Arvin felt fully confident in his words. He had never known what love felt like - romantic love at least - but this was damn near the closest thing he could imagine to it. You occupied his thoughts every waking moment, your face and your voice swimming around his imagination in a beautiful ocean of warmth and kindness and goodness that he would gladly drown in. You were strong and responsible and understanding and oh so beautiful. Much like him, you’d been handed a shit hand by life and struggled each day to make the best of it. Arvin cared about you so much it scared him because he had not felt this compulsion towards anyone since Lenora had passed. After losing everything he’d ever loved, he was scared that if he admitted that he loved you, life would take you away from him as well. If there was one thing that you did, though, it was take away Arvin’s fear.

“I love you too, Arvin.” He pulled your body flush against his when you responded, a heavy sigh of relief leaving his chest. Much like Arvin, you hadn’t known what real love felt like. You’d even started believing that maybe you weren’t meant for such a luxury.

Now you and Arvin felt like the richest people in the world, despite having almost nothing to your names. As long as you were in each others’ arms, you had everything. You were each others’ trust, honesty, comfort, compassion, and protection.

_______

Taglist:

@peterswebshooters

@thisisparadisemylove

@justapurrcat

@tomsirishgirlx

@peterswebshooters

@femmme-xxx-fatale

@kittyformannn

@aidinniram

@minejungwoo

@mathletemadison

[hotkoyo]

SFW Howie Alphabet Headcanons

Author's Note: When will my husband come home from war?

Disclaimer: These headcanons are based on how I imagine Howie to be based on the game. You don't have to agree with what I say here as everyone is free to have their own ideas.

𝄥 𝄞 ── 𝄇

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

VERY affectionate. I honestly feel like he grew up surrounded with so much love and now he’s just overflowing with it. Howie is all about showing his love through warm hugs, having his arm around you, swinging your hands as you walk, head pats, you name it. Another one, in my opinion, is words of affirmation. He'd tell you how much you matter to him through words, like quoting lines from his favorite movies and saying "I love you" before you both go to sleep.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Affectionate. Lots of play fighting and cuddling during movie sessions. Singing to Disney songs at the top of your lungs. You guys make friendship bracelets for each other (and he never takes off his). Definitely one of those dudes who drive their best friend everywhere.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

If it’s not apparent already, this dude is a giant golden retriever and he lives for the cuddles. He is born to cuddle, baby. Due to his size, it’s natural that he ends up as a big spoon more often than not but he definitely loves the moments he gets to be the small spoon.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

So domestic, even when you guys just started dating. It’s easy to imagine yourself settling down with someone as warm and comforting as Howie. He would love to settle down and build a home with you and you guys love having conversations about your dream house and how your life would be like in five, ten years. He’s alright at cooking in general but can cook some amazing Chinese dishes that his mom taught him.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would be hard for him to get out of a relationship, to be completely honest. He’s one of those people who easily gets attachment issues and finds it hard to move on from a relationship. If he really has to be the one to end the relationship, he would want to talk it out with you and try to end your relationship on a good note. I feel like he’s one of those people who really values respect, even when things aren’t working out anymore between you two.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Howie is a hopeless romantic and while he does have his insecurities, I feel like he would really love to commit to someone. In terms of marriage, it really depends on you. I don’t think his career would hinder him much when it comes to popping the question, to be honest. If he feels like he’s comfortable enough with the relationship and sees that you are, too, I think he’d propose to you when he feels like the time is right.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Howie is a textbook example of a gentle giant. He knows he’s strong so physically, he knows when to hold back a bit. Emotionally, it’s canon that he’s a soft and caring boy through and through and he would never hurt you on purpose.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Ugh, he LOVES hugs. It’s canon that the Yan fam is really good with hugs so if you need a pick-me-up, he’s your man. Whenever you guys are alone, he acts like an overgrown koala because he can’t get enough of hugging you. If hot chocolate is a hug, it’s what Howie’s would feel like. Warm, familiar, and comforting.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He knows he loves you when he does but holds back a lot in fear of coming off too strong. If he feels that you feel the same, then he would say it pretty quickly into the relationship or during a spur of a moment. If it seems that you need more time, he would hold back just so that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s the type who’s less jealous and more insecure. His jealousy isn’t going to make him act rashly and put you on the spot. It’s slow and creeping and you might not notice at first because of how well he conceals it but it becomes apparent by the way he starts to act distant.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Warm and gentle. His kisses make you feel so safe and loved and he likes to take the time to show you how he feels through the gesture. He loves to kiss you everywhere but his favorite places to kiss you are your nose and temples.

Also, kiss him on the forehead and he’d melt into a puddle. Another one of his hotspots is at the back of his neck. Kiss him there and watch him sputter as he tries to gain back his bearings.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He loves kids, kids love him. He humors the kids a lot and is a great impersonator so prepare yourself for some improvised skits in front of the kiddos. Can’t say no to the kids, though, so you might have to step in from time to time. Kids treat him like a human jungle gym. Which he actually is.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

I definitely see him as a morning person. Also, he’s so fit that you can’t tell me he doesn’t workout every single morning. Probably goes on an early jog and is one of those people who seems so chipper even if it's only seven in the morning.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Have you seen actors with their stage makeup on? There’s no way Howie’s skin stays so smooth and supple without some form of skincare routine. Has his own skincare routine and loves doing it with you together in front of the mirror (while making faces at you). After a good skincare session, he'll sit on the couch or in bed with you cuddled up to him as he reads scripts from his new upcoming projects.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Depending on how much he trusts you, it could be sooner or later. The thing with him is that he keeps things bottled up to himself. It’s hard and it’s tiring and the moment he feels safe with you, the dam breaks and he starts to reveal things about himself.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It’s definitely hard to annoy Howie and even harder to provoke him. He has the patience of a saint and unless something is very wrong, you can always find him just chillin lol.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’s quite sentimental so he definitely remembers your relationship milestones. He remembers a lot of small things about you; like how you like your cereal and your best friend’s name from high school. Some of the details can be fuzzy at times but he tries!

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Canonically: The moment you said yes when he asked to be your boyfriend at Luca’s "sister's wedding".

Headcanon: The time you both visited his family in Chicago for the holidays. You were walking home from dinner when the snowfall turned into a snowstorm. It was terribly cold and windy but you both kept on laughing at the situation and you looked so gorgeous with snow stuck to your hair under the waning streetlight that he didn’t even care that he's freezing his butt off.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Isn’t too protective in the traditional sense because he knows you can take care of yourself. More protective of how you feel because of his words and actions so he’s careful in what he says and how he says them because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Highkey loves to be protected tho. Thinks it's kinda hot.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Puts a lot of effort in his career, obviously. Howie is always so passionate and ambitious when it comes to being a top actor. Relationship-wise, he’s a simp. Dates are mostly casual with him but he puts extra time and effort in choosing or making gifts. All the extra and expensive bits goes into your anniversary dates.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

A lot of times, he leaves his wet, sweaty workout shirts at the corner of the room and somehow always forgets no matter how many times you’ve scolded him. Sometimes doesn’t close or tie snack packages properly so when it's your turn to eat them, they’re often stale. A terrible snorer when he’s had a long day on set.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Quite concerned. He likes to highlight the nice parts of his body through the clothes he choose to wear and tries to follow a healthy diet in general. He worked hard for his body and as much as embarrassing as it is to admit, he loves to show off and be admired for it (especially by you).

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

A strong believer that every person is complete and whole on their own. He believes that every person is their own and just because you love someone, it doesn't mean that your life must revolve around that person. Even so, he is a romantic. So even if he knows that he's complete without you, he does prefer to have you by his side.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He can play the piano really well. Aside from dance lessons, his parents put aside a lot of money to sign him up for piano classes when he was younger. Now, he plays them whenever he’s deep in thought and it’s always relaxing to hear him play.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In general, Howie doesn’t like broccoli. Keep those away from him. Please. When it comes to partners, Howie stays away from people who make him feel less. Basically people who put him down for being who he is and liking the things he likes. Narcissists, if you will.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He’s a snuggler and he nuzzles into your side a lot when he sleeps. Whether you get too warm is your problem because this dude is Strong™ and won’t let you push him aside that easily. And, God, I hate to say this but he’s definitely a snorer. Not all the time but when he’s really tired.... let’s just say you won’t be getting a decent sleep.

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

SFW ALPHABET A-Z

Gojo Satoru Edition 💙

note: I just want to thank everyone for making this blog hit 500+ followers. Never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have a writing blog and a one that is so supported and loved. I love everyone single of my followers and readers who took the time to read my content. English isn’t my first language so I struggle a lot when writing since I make a lot of typos and I barely have any writing skills. Even though I reread it to check I still manage to find some typos so I’m constantly editing, even my old posts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how happy each comment or reblogs makes me, I love reading what you guys think. I will continue to work hard for you guys and the jkk community! Please look forward to future updates my lovelies! ❤

A= Admiration (How do they admire you? What is their thoughts about you? What is their reaction in meeting you for the first time? Do they instantly like you?)

Gojou loves staring at you and he's not afraid if he gets caught.

Even if you're doing chores or you're laughing with the first years. You could of just woken up with messy hair, drool dried on the corner of your mouth and he'll still think you're the most beautiful person in the world.

When he stares at you it's as if the world slows down and everyone goes in slow motion. He'll notice the twinkle in your eyes or how you suddenly shifted to your right. As he's in a trace where his hearts flutters at the sight of you.

His Six Eyes will notice even the tiniest detail about you.

Even in a crowded room his eyes will immediately try to find your form. You're the first person he seeks whenever and wherever.

He likes to boast about you to everyone, especially his students. You're his lover and he's proud to have you.

To him, you're his equal, his safe haven. You're the only person he can truly let his guard down with. You love him not because "he's the strongest shaman" but just as "Satoru" and that's something he thinks about that makes him feel all warm inside.

You're his everything, he wouldn't know what would he do if he ever loses you. If Gojou truly loves you he will fully commit to it.

You and Gojou didn't exactly start off on the right foot.

You thought he was too arrogant and annoying.

While he thought you were weak and boring.

You quickly proved that wrong, and his perception of you changed. He would often tease you and find opportunities to spar with you.

You slowly started to grow on each other from rivals to lovers.

He's still annoying though.

B= Bestie (Do they act like best friends while dating? How comfortable are they with you?)

Why absolutely! You guys are lovers at the same time bestfriends.

Gojou is very comfortable around you. He's pretty confident man already but when he's around you there's no breaks for this man.

He will do the wackiest and craziest things just see you laugh and smile.

You both tell each other everything, such as recent turn of events or even student gossip. He loves to gossip.

You can expect him to wake you up at 2 am just to go to McDonald's while blasting music from the car while you both sing on top of your lungs.

Of course there will be moments where both have arguments or disagreements but they don't last long. They get solved pretty easily.

"Wanna get icecream?"

"Fine, but you're playing."

Gojou can be quite obnoxious at times and you're not afraid to let him know. He doesn't listen and still annoy you anyways.

But now you should be used to his antics and don't take them too seriously.

There is no such thing as a boundary for this man.

He can literally become your safe haven during sad times or hell as he tickles you until you cry.

C= Cuddles (How often do they cuddle? How are they when they cuddle? What cuddle position do they like best? Are they the Big Spoon or Little Spoon?)

If he could, Gojou would always want to be cuddling with you. Whenever and wherever you both are.

He loves the feeling of having you in his arms or him in your arms. His home is where your arms are. It's one of the moments where his Infinity isn't activated.

He wrap his long limps around you and bring you as physically close as possible so he can nuzzle against you or press kisses to you.

Whenever he's in a cuddling mood or he's feeling stressed he'll come to find you and pull you to the nearest chair. He'll have you sit in his lap while he embraces you tightly. He won't go until he's satisfied too!

He usually prefers to be the bigger spoon, he likes the idea that you're safe within his arms. Sometimes he'll just stare at you while you sleep, smiling to himself as he drifts off to sleep.

If you're both in bed you must cuddle! It's a rule he made up.

He doesn't being the little spoon either, he loves the feeling of when you playing with hair. He truly feels comfortable and vulnerable within your arms.

He can't decide with position he likes best, he just likes the feeling of your body close to his.

D= Domestic (Are they willing to settle down with you? Are they willing to do chores? What do you two do at home?)

Gojou never thought he would settle down. That is until he met you!

With his busy and dangerous lifestyle, he thought he would spend the rest of his days alone.

Being with him, is a huge risk. The higher ups or the enemies would use you as a bargaining chip.

After lots of convincing, that you'll promise to be by his side forever. You'll have his heart now and forever.

Gojou when he's at home...he's lazy. He'll be munching on some snacks, lying on the sofa while you hang the laundry.

Somedays he's tired from work, so you let him be but if he really isn't doing anything. Some threats work really well on him.

"If you don't don't do the laundry, you're sleeping on the sofa tonight!"

"Then I'm off to do it!"

Having growing up with servants, he's not used to doing household chores.

But he will try, because he doesn't want you take take on the full workload. Teach him, he's a fast learner!

At home, within your arms is where he feels safest. Majority of the time you two would be in contact with each other one way or another.

You're watching tv? He's sitting you with his arm around your shoulder. If you're cooking, he'll come and unexpectedly hug you from behind. This man craves your touch.

Watching movies or television is something you both do very often, you'll both be snuggled up together, while Gojou throws commentary here and there.

Cooking or baking is another thing you both do. Majority of the time you both rarely get to spend together due to Gojou's work schedule. Who ever arrives home first will have to make dinner. However, you two are both at home you both help each other make a delicious dessert or meal. Nothing like eating a home cooked meal together.

Playing video games together is a must! You're his player number 2. He's very competitive so if he wins, it's non stop boasting but if he loses he demands an immediate rematch. Mario Kart or Super Smash Brothers is some the common ones you both play.

E= Endeavor (Are they supportive in you trying to do something? Will they help you reach for it?)

Gojou Satoru is known to be your literal hype man.

He will be very supportive of you and what you're trying to accomplish. As long as it's not something like becoming a murder. He's gonna have to do a double take on that.

If you're gonna become a piano, he'll have a grand piano delivered straight to your home. If you're gonna become an artist, he will buy you the best art supplies.

As they say "live your life to the fullest" and Gojou completely agrees with that statement.

If you're trying to learn something new, he will be encouraging you. There are times where he can be a little but don't take it to heart. He just wants you to improve and sugarcoating things isn't always the best way to improve.

If you're feeling down but you're trying to achieve, he'll be there to comfort you and motivate you.

"Things won't always go your way, but I promise I'll be there to cheer you on."

If you're trying to learn a new skill, he might have a go at it too. He's a fast learner but if he doesn't or can't do something, he'll just blame it on the fact that if he does it then he's gonna become perfect so he chooses not to. It's just to save his huge ego.

F= Fights (How often do you guys fight? Who apologizes first? How long will the fight last? What is the reason behind the fight?)

You guys argue pretty often but they're mostly about trival issues. Like Gojou forgot to take out the trash or who cooks today.

If you both do fight seriously. It would definitely have to do with "work". Because of Gojou's busy schedule you're not sure when will he be back home or when he will be gone. If you both have very different schedules it would definitely lead to some misunderstandings.

If you realize you did something wrong you'll apologize to him right away. While he spouts things like "I told you so!" but he's only teasing.

If he realizes he did something wrong it'll take him a while for him to admit it. Depending on the seriousness of the situation his apology will differ.

If it's something trivial, he'll just pepper you with kisses while says sorry a hundred times.

If it's serious, he'll fully embrace you and apologize, straight to the point no needless words.

Trivial fights don't last long but serious one may take time. Depending on who's wrong or right.

Gojou is a stubborn person so even if he's wrong it'll take him a while to admit it. Maybe days or a week but no longer than that. After all he can't resist not being around you.

G= Guard (Are they protective of you? How protective are they? Are they willing to risk themselves to save you?)

This depends whether you're a shaman or a civilian.

If you are a civilian, he will be very protective of you. You don't have the ability to see curses so who knows what or when can hurt you.

He'll take sure to put lots of talismans and barriers around your home for safety.

Gojou due to his busy work schedule won't always be home or be around you. During these days he's worried sick about you.

He'll be sure to message or call you whenever he can to check up on you.

If he truly senses you're in danger, no matter what he'll go to you instantly. After that happens he'll more frightened of losing you and might resort to leaving you.

Despite how much he loves you, you're life is more precious than him. He can't risk that by being around you.

If you're a shaman just like him, he won't be as protective over you. He'll understand and trust that you'll be able to defend yourself.

He'll make sure to spar with you so that you won't lose in touch in fighting.

Even though he knows you can take care of yourself, in his heart he still worries for you. So he may or may not pop up randomly during your missions and exorcise the curse immediately.

You may end up getting annoyed or mad at him because you may think he thinks you're weak but that's not the case. He just loves you and worries about you.

Whether you're a civilian or shaman, Gojou will 100% risk his life to save you. He's lost so many people, he can't afford lose you too.

If you're out in public, he'll be sure to be holding your hand or have an arm around your waist. He'll glare at anyone who looks at you funny through his sunglasses.

Gojou has a massive presence so good luck to anyone who tries to approach you. They gotta get through him first.

H= Healing (What is their reaction in you getting hurt? Do they get hurt often? Do they help you patching you up? Or do they not know how to patch you up, and tries their hardest?)

Gojou hates seeing you hurt in anyway. Even if it's a tiny wound. It's kinda like if you're hurt he's hurt too. That's his way of thinking.

If you get injured during a mission, you can bet Gojou will be all over you.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"For the hundred time, yes..."

Despite your assurance that are fine, he'll still insist to take you to Shoko just to be safe.

If it's a trivial wound like you accidentally cut yourself or you stubbed your toe. Gojou will be the one to take care of the wound. He does have basic knowledge on how to treat wounds.

If it's a severe wound, he'll instantly bring you to Shoko. He'll teleport all the way from Hokkaido to Tokyo if he has to.

He doesn't know how to use the Reverse Cursed Technique but at the moment when you're dying in his arms he will try his best to.

He will literally become your human shield if he knows things are dire.

If he sees an enemy wound you, well it's gonna be game over for the enemy. Instant oblivion.

It is known that Gojou has his Infinity activated at all times, so he doesn't ever get hurt whether from missions or trivial issues.

Very rare but when he does turn off his Infinity he can get hurt but it's because he let's it happen.

He still gets sick from time to time because that's something his Infinity can't protect him from.

I= Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do you two often go on dates?)

Gojou as we all know is very affectionate and romantic person.

He's very cheesy and likes to tease you just to see you blush.

He can't keep his hands off of you, he has to be touching you even just by lacing your fingers together. He also likes to stand near you often behind you or right beside you.

Gojou goes all over Japan for his missions and he makes sure to always bring a souvenir home for you whether it's a little trinket or something you'll like. Definitely will buy sweets, he'll share just a little though.

You'll often be surprised with deliveries of bouquets at work addressed to you but not written from who but you know who it is.

This man is extremely rich, so you ever have an eye on something, he'll secretly buy it for you.

When you're cold, he'll give you his jacket or hug you to keep you warm. If you're feeling hot under the sun, use this man as your personal shade. He doesn't mind.

It's rare for the both of you to have day offs at the same time so it's always something special to him.

He'll either take you out shopping or a cafe date.

He loves going around Tokyo with you to different places and secretly takes pictures of you when you're not looking.

If you don't feel like going anywhere he's fine with just cuddling you while watching a movie.

Gojou just has a sense for you if you're feeling down or stressed. He'll instantly know and would try to make you feel better.

He can cook your favorite meal or even give you a massage.

He's not shy to show the world how much he loves you, everyone in the Jujutsu society knows about you two.

J= Jealousy (How often do they get jealous? Do they get easily jealous? How will they react?)

Gojou doesn't get jealous easily. He trusts you and knows the things you do and won't do. However, on rare occasions it does happen but he won't directly voice it out.

"I'm the strongest most handsome shaman ever!" But behind that he still has insecurities. It usually depends on the person you're interacting with. If he sees you getting a little too close to someone, he'll step inーcausally stepping in between the two of you. A hand around your waist around strangers and a full on back hug around people he knows.

If a stranger tries to pick you up, he'll swoop right in towering the poor stranger. He knows he's attractive and he knows show to use it.

"Pay attention to me (Y/N), not Nanami!.

"Satoru, we're talking the recent sighting of a grade 1 cursed spirit."

Afterwards he'll just be very whiny and needy, he wants your full attention on him and him only!

K= Kissing (Do they like kissing you? Are they shy or confident in kissing you?)

Gojou Satoru loves all forms of affection. Kissing being one of them.

Gojou has had experience with kissing so he knows what he's doing. One moment he'll be kissing you sweetly then it turns into a full blown make out session.

He's not embarrassed about kissing you in public. Despite the Japanese culture of being conservative of PDA. He won't be making out with you in front of the entire crosswalk but he'll give you pecks or smooches that last a moment or two.

Whenever he leaves for work, he'll always ask for his goodbye kiss or when he's back home he'll be eagerly waiting for your kiss.

Whenever you both pass by each other whether at home or at school, he'll press a chaste kiss to you.

His tongue is divine, he definitely knows how to use his tongue. You can bet he knows how to tie a cherry into a knot using just his tongue.

You will always taste something sweet lingering on him as you kiss him.

He doesn't have a specific type of kiss he likes, he likes them all as long as they're with you. Forehead kisses, cheek kisses, eskimo kisses you name it!

He will definitely will to try out all forms of kisses with you.

L= Love (Who drops the L-word first? Would they rather say it or do it?)

Love is a complicated feeling, Gojou hasn't felt that before with any of his past relationships.

That was until he met you. That's when he realized that what the feeling was.

You were cuddling in bed together, face to face. There was no talking just silence as the two of you stare deeply into each other's eyes. Only the light of the moonlight peaking through the curtains illuminating the room.

Gojou stares into your eyes with a soft smile on his face as he gently lays his hand on your cheek.

Your eyes held the universe within them, the universe that is you and it's staring back at him with so much love and affection within them. He feels the warmth spread throughout his body. He whispers softly "I love you..." as his own eyes reflect yours.

You gasp with eyes widening, processing the words he spoke. You feel your eyes well up in tears, as your cheeks warm. You place your hand over his and whisper back "I love you too.." smiling brightly at him.

That was the moment when he first told you he loved you, it was so genuine and raw.

Afterwards he'll always voice out that he loves you but of course he shows it as well. He'll call you beautiful while pressing a kiss to your forehead.

M= Marriage (How do they propose to you? What’s their ideal wedding like? Where do you plan it?)

Gojou is a very spontaneous man, I can imagine him doing it during the most mundane and random moments. Such as after you're both walking home from a date or maybe it's late into the night while you're both cuddling.

Maybe moments where you're hurt or if he almost lost you.

"Marry me, (Y/N)..."

It's just a spur of the moment kind of thing, when he's the most vulnerable. When he realizes "ah, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person..."

Gojou is pretty flexible with the kind of wedding he wants. He doesn't really have a dream wedding.

The elders of his clan would definitely bug him for a Traditional one as it is customary.

However, if you want a Western style wedding instead he will definitely go for it.

Mostly likely, you both will have two weddings one traditional and western.

Money is different not an issue with this man. Say the word and you shall receive. It's definitely going to be extravagant.

Whether you want to or not he'll find a way to splurge his money.

If the elders are opposed to your marriage you'll both will just have a private wedding, inviting the people closest to you guys.

Not marrying you because someone said no is not an option for him.

N= Nicknames (What do they call you? Do they call you these in public as well? How often do they call you in nicknames?)

Gojou has a variety of nicknames for you!

Ranging from the typical baby, babe, sweetie, darling and honey.

Or something more sweet such as princess/prince, my love, my dearest.

And there's those really cringey ones such as sugarpie, cupcake, my strawberry cheesecake.

He will literally call you by any dessert name.

"Hey, my kikufuku!" Yup, that's you.

If you're shorter than him you can add shorty, short stuff or munchkin to the list.

When he uses them usually depends on the situation. If he's feeling really affectionate or needy he'll be using the really sweet nicknames.

Sometimes he'll even come up with the most ridiculous ones as much as it embarrasses you.

Usually he'll just call you using the common nicknames. He will only use your real name during serious situations.

He's not shy about proclaiming you as his chocolate cupcake. Not even in front of his students or colleagues.

"Are you referring to (L/N) sensei?" "Bingo!"

You've tried to beg him to stop but the man doesn't listen.

O= Open (How open are they with you? Are they willing to share their secrets and past with you? Do they trust you?)

Gojou despite being a man who loves to talk does not like talking about his private life or his past.

It's very personal information to him and he doesn't want the information to fall into the wrong hands.

If anyone asks about it he'll either ignore the question or answer it very vaguely.

You would have to be someone has spent years by his side to be to attain that level of trust with you.

There are some things in his past that isn't easy to talk about, even though it doesn't bother him now. If you ask he will tell you about it briefly.

If it's information not regarding his secrets or his past, he doesn't sharing those details. If you wanna about his mission or want to check his phone, he will let you. He has nothing to hide except the secret pictures he takes of you.

He in return trusts you as well, but he won't pry into things you don't want to talk about.

If you manage to gain his trust enough for him to reveal personal information about him, don't break it. If you do, you will never be able to gain it back.

P= PDA (Are they into PDA? Do they often do it? Their reaction if you hold their hands or kiss them in public.)

Gojou is into PDA but he doesn't flaunt it as often as you think. He won't be making out with you in the middle of the school hallway but he will press chaste kisses to you.

He's not afraid to hug you or hold your hand around the faculty or students.

He won't do something inappropriate in public he likes to keep that in private. Through sometimes he will because he likes seeing you embarrassed while you desperately ask him to stop. Trying not to gain the attention of the people around you.

He also likes seeing the reactions of other people when he does display affection towards you but mostly he does it to see your cute reactions.

If you initiate hand holding with him, he will definitely hold your hand back tightly. If you kiss him, he'll be surprised but then he's quick to tease you about it.

"Oya, is my cupcake getting bold～?"

If anyone looks at you two with disgust he will yell out "you got a problem?"

He's not shy to show the world he loves you.

Q= Quirk (Do they find your quirks adorable or odd? Do they tell you or not? Do they have a quirk of their own?)

Nothing escapes his keen eyesight. He'll notice and remember a lot of your quirks even the ones you're unconsciously doing.

He thinks its absolutely adorable, like how you furrow your eyebrows in concentration how you pout when you're deep in thought.

All these little quirks make you who you are and he adores them.

Gojou will tell you about them of course, even if you try to deny it. If you don't believe he'll try to take a picture to show you which ends up making you really embarrassed.

"I can't help it, I don't even know that I'm doing that..." you whisper with a blush on your face.

Gojou has a quirk of fiddling with his blindfold or his sunglasses if he's wearing them.

Definitely a fan of putting his hands in his jacket or hands while he stands or walks. He doesn't like the feeling of his hands being empty.

R= Reliable (Are they loyal? How loyal are they? Are they there for you when you need someone?)

Gojou is a very honest and down to earth kind of guy. Of course, loyalty is something he firmly commits to.

Cheating is something he won't resort to at all costs. No woman or man is tempting enough for him to be swayed.

We all know he is a good looking guy, he's bound to attract suitors anywhere but he'll turn them all down. He already has you, why would he need anyone else?

There are times where you might feel insecure or jealous but Gojou will always be there to assure you not to. He'll do his best to comfort you, until you're smiling again.

"You're the only one I need..."

During these times he'll even share his precious sweets with you. He'll feed you cake while hugging you from behind.

Have faith in him because whenever you need him, he'll make sure to be there.

S= Solace (How do they comfort you? Do they immediately notice you being sad?)

Gojou just has sense whenever you're feeling sad, even though you try your hardest to hide it.

He just sees through your facade. He won't ask if you're okay when he clearly knows you'll try to lie about it.

If you're trying to avoid him, he'll either pin you against the wall or pull you into his embrace.

He'll be silent as he takes off his blindfold to stare deep into your eyes, how could you lie when those eyes are looking straight at you.

He won't ask you about what's bothering you but he will always be there to comfort you.

Gojou would pull you into his lap on his expensive chair and cradle you like child as he gently caresses your hair.

Ligerning forehead kisses is also he does to comfort you.

Gojou would also bring his sweets stash and slowly feed you some while he hugs you from behind. If you want food, he'll be glad to cook up your favorite meal.

He knows a lot of cringy and cheesy jokes, in which ends up with him laughing at his own jokes. His laughter is contagious so wouldn't be able to hold back a smile after that.

T= Turn-off (What do they dislike in people? What is their turn-off?)

Gojou hates the old way of thinking he finds in elders especially the elders of his clan and the jujutsu society.

He doesn't like anything anything serious or boring. If you're too uptight, he'll find a way to break that.

Another thing he hates is when people do something behind his back or say something behind his back. If you have something to say, then say it straight it to him.

Routine is another thing he dislikes, he's very spontaneous and looks for the fun in things.

He dislikes vegetables and anything bitter. He's a lover of sweets afterall!

Prying too much into his personal life, as proud as he isーhe doesn't like going around talking much about his private life or his past.

U= Umbrageous (Do they easily get offended by what you said? How will they react when you get hurt by what they said?)

Now if you mean playful gets offended then the answer would be yes. If you're seriously trying to offend him, he won't. He's not the type to take things like that to heart.

Call him an idiot, a narcissist, he will playful hold his chest in pain and whine to you while he pouts.

He'll even tease you back if he feels like it.

"Sorry, did you say something～?"

Even though he doesn't take insults to heart, if you use his past against him, he will take offense to it. His past is something he doesn't want to bring up so if you or anyone brings it up. That changes things.

He tries to keep the optimism but he's only human with emotions so there will be times you could offend him.

If you managed to offend him, he'll be unusually quiet as he dwells on your words.

He won't resort to anger but that doesn't mean he won't at times. That's when he's firing insults back you, blinded by rage. He will regret it afterwards though.

V= Vision (What do they imagine their future? What is their dream? Do they want to spend it with you?)

If Gojou truly loves you, he'll definitely would want to spend the rest of his life with you by his side. Somewhere where he doesn't have to be on guard and would always welcome him with open arms.

Yet at the same time he is afraid of the dangers that come associated with him. If you're a civilian he'll try to distance himself away from you. He's afraid one day when he's not around, someone might come after you. His world is completely different from that of a normal person's afterall.

If you work in the same field as him. He'll definitely be more reluctant to push you away, because he knows you can handle yourself. It lessens his worries.

Still life as a shaman is still as dangerous, you're putting your lives at risk every time you go on a mission. The thought of losing you scares him to the very core.

Despite that he still loves you and if can't be with you he would like to associated with you someway maybe as acquaintances or friends.

He dreams of a world without cursed spirits, where he can live a peaceful life, settle down and start a family with you.

In a world crowded with darkness he dreams of a single ray of solace that is you.

Someone that will stay by his side no matter how difficult it will be.

W= Wacky (What is their reaction in you doing something crazy? Will they join you or stop you?)

Gojou Satoru is a man child, he does the most ridiculous of things like wearing a skirt of a highschool student.

If you're the type of person who's just as energetic and wild as him, it's going to be chaos.

You both will pull pranks on the students and faculty. Poor Ijichi being one of your primary targets.

If you're the type of person who's more on the serious side then he'll be shocked by your suggestion.

But of course he's willing to join in whatever plot you have.

Gojou already gives the higher ups a headache, if you're added to the mix it's going to end up being a massive headache.

He lost count of the amount of times he got scolded by Principal Yaga.

He can come up with the wildest ideas and sometimes you will have to become his break.

Principal Yaga specifically asked you to keep him in check after all.

X= Xtra (Random Headcannon about them)

Gojou Satoru has a driver's license. In fact he even owns several cars.

Of course, they're all the expensive ones because he thinks they look cool.

Does he use them? Not that often, when you literally have the ability to teleport or have Ijichi to drive you around.

As you expect he's a fast driver, you will literally be griping your seatbelt for dear life. It looks like he's gonna crash but he won't. He just likes to scare you.

Of course there's a stash of candy and extra pairs of sunglasses in the glovebox.

Gojou is surprisingly a great cook. You would think being raised with servants he wouldn't know how to cook but he does.

He studies the recipe very carefully and cooks. It's as if he has a natural talent for cooking.

At first, you were pretty skeptical of his cooking but once you had of bite of his dish. You could feel the literal flavors explode on your tongue.

When it's his turn for him to cook, expect him to be wearing a cute apron while blasting music from his speaker.

He'll be singing and dancing in the kitchen.

Hug him from behind while he cooks and he'll melt right then and there. Trying to hide a blush from you.

Y= Yearning (Do they long for you? Will they find themselves missing you while you’re away? If so, how will they cope with it?)

Even though you haven't seen each other for a day he terribly miss you. Your just gives him warm and when you're not there he feels cold.

He goes on missions very often and they can last days or even weeks depending on the case. He'll try to update you as much as he can on when he could come home.

Even when he's in the middle of fighting cursed spirits, he'll find his mind wondering towards you.

If he's away from you, you'll be getting calls and texts from him quite frequently. He'll make sure to always greet you good morning or good night and ask how you are.

He'll always ask if you've eaten or not and asks you to send a picture of your meal to prove it to him. He needs to know you're being well fed.

If you think he talks too much he texts just as much. He'll even take random selfies of himself or something interesting he wants you to see.

If you send him a selfie or video he'll save that so fast and save that to his folder. So he can look through them whenever he misses you.

If it's a long mission, he might pack one of your shirts which has your scent so he could take a whiff to calm himself or cuddle as he sleeps.

After a mission if he's not tired yet, he'll video call you every now and then.

He'll try to come back as fast as possible because he doesn't feel complete without your presence.

Z= Zzz (Do they fall asleep easily? Do they move around while sleeping? What sleeping position do they like best?)

If we are talking about the past Gojou, maybe around his youth then no. He had difficulty sleeping because sleeping meant he's vulnerable to attacks.

This is why relies mostly on sweets to stimulate his brain because there are days where he can't sleep at all. His powers drain a lot of energy to keep up.

Once he could run Infinity automatically, he doesn't have any trouble sleeping at all. In fact, he passes out instantly once his head hits the pillow.

The man works hard and goes on tons of missions so of course he's bound to be tired when he gets home.

Gojou Satoru is 190 cm tall so of course he has a large king sized bed at home. He likes having a lot of space but he tends to move around a lot unconsciously.

There have been times where he has fallen off the bed as well.

If you're sleeping with him and want to prevent him from taking all the bed space, you both cuddle that way his limbs are locked on you.

His likes to sleep laying on his back while you lay on your chest or embracing you from behind as you both sleep on your sides.

It's very rare from him to snore but that doesn't mean he doesn't and when he does, it's loud.

However sleeping with him has it's benefits, if you wake up before him you'll be graced by the most angelic view. As he breathes softy while his long white eye lashes remain closed.

If he does wake up you will also be graced by his morning voice which is divine.

[definitelynotsuzumi]

Zapped to Another World

Genshin Impact x Fem!Reader

I wrote this in my spare time when I was working back in November and thought that I should share this ^-^ 

Depending on the comments/notes and if I have spare time, I may be updating this. 

[Masterlist]

The rain poured down your umbrella. The clouds coloured the sky a dark grey as you ran for the bus. You sighed as you reached the traffic light. Yup, you were definitely not going to be able to catch it now.

School had ended for the year, which meant more free time for you and the new game you had recently gotten into. Genshin Impact.

You could not help but smile at the thought of it. With school out of the picture, you could finally focus on the game completely. There was so many things to do. Farming for artifacts, completing your daily commissions…

You sloshed your way over as the lights turned green. While you love that school is out, you honestly hated the wet weather that came with the winter break and the feeling of wet socks on your feet. After safely crossing the road, you winced as a white truck rushed by, soaking your clothes through as the giant puddle you have been trying to avoid poured onto your skirt and legs.

You let out a sigh as you quickly took shelter under a tree nearby to try and wring out the remaining water when it happened.

“Just my luck…”You muttered as you clumsily balanced your umbrella, “Can it get any worse?”

Just as those words left your lips, it happened. A white flash lit the sky for a brief second. But it was too late. Thousands of volts came cascading upon your body and everything turned white.

“This is your fault.” You heard a voice. It sounded like a young, sulky boy.

“How is this my fault? You’re the one who lashed out when I put down that +4 card down.”

“THAT AIN’T FAIR STILL! I WAS SO CLOSE TO WINNING AND YOU BLEW IT!”

“Uh…What’s going on?” You blinked as your vision settled. You sat in what looked like a library of sorts, with several shelves lining the walls and a long white and gold marble table in the centre of it all. A girl with long, platinum hair glared down at her male counterpart, who huffed in annoyance.

“How about you explain it to her, Artem.”

“Sorry, but I don’t speak to cheaters.”

“Oh for gods sake- fine. We apologize for uhm…Killing you. Truly, a thousand apologies. If only someone can control their temper for once in their life-“ The girl shot a dirty look at Artem.

“LIKE YOU ARE ONE TO TALK! SOLARIA, YOU SINGED MY EYEBROWS OVER KILLING YOU IN AMONG US!”

“Well excuse you! My anger was perfectly justified! You voted me out even when I told you the truth and that I was innocent!”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO EMBROIDER AND GROOM THEM BACK TO NORMAL AGAIN?”

“Could you guys please stop fighting for 10 seconds?” You yelled over the noise. The girl and boy finally stopped, leaving you to rub at your ringing ears.

You sighed. Kids were always a handful back in your home. You had to take care of your cousins whenever your aunt was over, and it often resulted with your ears ringing and your head pounding.

“What’s done is done. I’m…well, dead and I seriously have no idea where I am.” You said, trying to stay composed.

“Well…In your human terms, this is kind of like the After Life.” The boy, Artem explained, sighing as he put down his Uno cards.

“Or well, it shouldn’t since…You were supposed to live for like, another 50 to 60 years. But someone messed it up.” The girl, Solaria, summoned a book from a shelf. You blinked as a weathered leather book with gilded, golden pages floated down onto the table.

“Shut up. I said that I was sorry, didn’t I?” Artem groaned.

“Sir Artem, are you losing your braincells? I was the one who apologized. You still owe the human an apology.” Solaria bit back icily.  

With a wave of her hand, the pages of the book flipped and she studied it carefully for a minute before looking back up.

“Well, as a soul now, you have an option. You can go into Elysium or be reincarnated.” Solaria sighed as Artem huffed again.

“Huh. What do you know? Elysium sounds real good right about now-“You thought out loud as Artem’s eyes turned wide with fear.

“Please don’t go into Elysium!” Artem yelled. The books shook in the shelves as his voice echoed.

“Ow, inside voice please? Hasn’t your mother taught you better?” You winced in pain. It seems that immortals had a throat of steel, judging from the way they could shout infinitely.

“I’m really sorry, but if Dad finds out I brought in another human because I accidentally killed them…He’s going to banish me…To Earth…” Artem looked down onto the table.

He was unable to meet your eyes as you stared at him with bemusement.

“Yeah, as much as I hate to say it, please…Reconsider on our offer to reincarnate. He is on thin ice with Father and if he is banished, I’d have to take on his duties as well. I’m pretty exhausted with the workload as it is.” Solaria sighed.

“As long as it’s not Earth, I’m cool with it.” You looked up at the ceiling, which took your breath away. The entire solar system was on it. With it, was the familiar sphere of white, green and blue.

“Hm, that is easy enough. I could reincarnate you into my world.” Artem brightened up.

Solaria sighed with relief.

“And to make up for it, I could buff you up with a couple of blessings here and there-“

“Within reason.” Solaria cut in, with a sharp look at Artem.

“Psssh, as if it’s hard to make a Gnosis.” Artem had considerably relaxed after hearing your statement.

“Are you serious? Don’t you even know the situation down at Teyvat?!” Your eyes widened. Were they talking about what you were thinking of?

Artem rose to his feet, the ivory wings on his lower back flaring. His eyes gleamed gold as he stared down his sister.

“It’s my world. I do what I like with it. If you don’t like it, get a world of your own.”

“You only got your world because Mother took pity on you. Don’t act all big when you have killed so many humans.”  Solaria hummed, rolling her eyes.

“I’ll only grant this human the bare minimum. Anything more, and I’ll let Father know of your deeds thus far, even if it means more work for me.” Solaria glared back. Her eyes gleamed silver as she did so. You felt a shiver run down your spine. 

“That’s all that I’ll need then. Work on your blessings and gifts. I’ll work on mine.” Artem turned away from his sister. The siblings set to work, the atmosphere of ice cold professionalism now in the air.

Solaria rose from her place on the table. With a flick of a finger, the Uno cards vanished with a burst of gold sparkles. The leather book floated beside her as she constantly referred to its pages while flying around the room.

“Hmm…Not much of a combatant, I see. Polearms and swords will probably be hard for you. Perhaps…A catalyst?” She pulled out a bright blue book adorned in gold, with feathers sticking out.

Blowing off any dust from the beautiful book, she casually tossed it over her shoulder and onto you. You instinctively brought your arms up to protect your face but as the book hit your arms, it disappeared into a burst of gold.

“Huh?” You blinked as you saw the book reappear beside you, its pages flipping.

Solaria returned with a satchel and a bag of gold coins. Looking satisfied as she noticed the book beside you, she inserted the bag of coins into the satchel before sliding it over your shoulder. Solaria hummed to herself before smiling again.

Reaching behind her neck, Solaria detached a shimmering teardrop necklace before slipping it around yours.

“There’s nothing special about it, apart from it glowing. I thought it would be a nice touch.” Solaria winked at you. 

Tilting your chin up, you froze with shock as she pressed her lips against yours.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” You felt heat rush to your cheeks.

“Oh, please. Don’t be flustered. That was merely a blessing of mine. It will help you when you need to speak with the natives of the land.” Solaria coolly said as she wiped her mouth.  

You were still reeling in shock. Your throat seemed to tighten as you coughed. 

“..Thank you, for agreeing with us on our selfish request. To be forcibly stripped of our powers can be the worst pain and humiliation a god or goddess can bear.” Solaria murmured to you as she hurried to the end of the room, where she knelt and seemed to draw symbols in gold.

You held back your tongue. ‘What about me? I got zapped to death here.’ You thought to yourself.

“It is done. Please step into that summoning circle there.” Artem held a floating, golden cylinder in his hands. Solaria rose from her place on the floor, gesturing for you to come over.

It was a Gnosis! You were quick to obey as you hurried to Solaria’s side.

Stepping into the centre, you turned to face Artem and Solaria, who stood side by side. They flared their wings as you sensed an energy swirl around you.

“I, Artem, God of the Moon, grant you passage and dominion over my world, Teyvat. Do you accept, (Y/N) (L/N)?” Artem’s voice echoed in your ears.

“I accept.” As the words left your lips, the Gnosis within his hands flew into your chest. You gasped as it did so, a heat spreading rapidly across your chest.

“Be safe on your travels, (Y/N) (L/N).” Solaria flashed a warm smile as you coughed.

“Resigno!”

The gold summoning circle glowed bright blue and you found yourself falling through the blue skies.

You screeched ungracefully as you fell from the sky headfirst. The green grass was coming up way too fast. 

‘Am I going to die again?’ You thought as you held out your arms to break your fall, only for a huge gust of wind to cushion your fall. 

“Huh?” You blinked in surprise as a person clad in green floated beside you. 

It was a young boy with 2 braids, which gleamed blue in the light. His eyes were a beautiful mix of green and blue. 

‘Venti?’ You gaped as he grabbed your hands and guided you back onto the ground. 

“Never thought I’d have an audience during my practice session. Are you okay?” Venti grinned at you. 

“Never...Never better. Thank you...”You gave a thumbs up as you got air back into your lungs again. 

His deft fingers plucked at his harp as he sat down on the soft grass. 

“It’s no problem. But what brings you here anyways? Not many people know of this spot.” Venti tilted his head. It seemed as though you uncovered his secret place. 

“I- uh well...Accidents happen. I’m not a mad fan or a stalker, I swear. Well, maybe I am a fan but still.” You rambled but you forced yourself to stop talking and to breath. Venti is real and he is in front of me. Venti is real and he is in front of me. 

Your heart was beating fast. 

‘I should say something smart, introduce myself or something.’ You thought to yourself as you composed yourself. 

You wanted to at least tell him your name but the words are out faster than you can stop them. 

“Wanna grab a drink?”  

[huttons]

if you’re in love, you’re a lucky one || nathan mackinnon

word count: 20.7k

summary:  Rory is just trying to find her place in Denver after landing her dream job after university. As she slowly finds friends and starts to feel comfortable with the choices she made, she meets none other than Nathan Mackinnon. They hit it off fast, but not everything turns out like a dream.

author’s note: This was written as part of @hockeynetwork​‘s winter fic exchange for @broadstbroskis​! I’m sorry this took so long, but I really do hope it’s worth the wait <3 A lot of love went into this, and I’d also love to thank @antoineroussel​ for listening to me yell about this fic for far too long.

“Never leave a friend behind. Friends are all we have to get us through this life - and they are the only things from this world that we could hope to see in the next.” �� Dean Koontz

Rory feels extremely lucky that she managed to find a job in her field before graduation has rolled around, even if it’s cutting things a little bit close. She knows how hard it is, especially seeing her friends struggle with it all. Even knowing how lucky she is, a huge part of her is anxious about having to move to a completely different state than all of the people she’s gotten close to during university. There’s something terrifying about starting over in a place you know nothing about.

At least the things she’s heard about Denver are almost all good. Besides, it’s not like she’s moving to the other side of the country, but Rory still feels overwhelmed at all of the things she has to prepare for. In the moments that it all starts to become too much, she wonders if she made the right choice.

“I think it’s a little too late to back out,” Piper laughs. “You already have everything set up and ready to go. Besides, you got that LiDAR job you were freaking out so much about. I refuse to let you drop out of it now.”

Rory sighs. “I know, it’s just scary. Like… what if I hate my coworkers? I’m depending on the fact that we become friends because how else am I supposed to make friends?”

“You’re pretty likeable, I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Piper replies, smiling brightly. “But if they end up being shitty, I’ll fly down here with the girls and fight them for you.”

“I appreciate it,” Rory says softly, smiling a little.

“Of course, it’s the least we could do. Now, do you want to go over your list again?” Piper inquires. “Or do you feel confident about it now?”

“You’ve told me I’ve had everything the last three times, I don’t think it’s possible for me to be missing everything,” Rory sighs.

“There we go, that’s the spirit!” Piper teases.

Rory rolls her eyes. “Maybe it is a good thing I’m moving to another state.”

“Whatever you say,” Piper replies, smiling. “Now, do you wanna have movie night with the girls?”

Rory smiles, nodding, knowing that this is probably the last time everyone will be able to hang out before finals and everyone going their own ways. It’s a terrifying thought knowing that they won’t be seeing each other again come September, but she knows that everyone is going to be doing amazing things. Besides, they’d all still be friends, things would just be looking a little bit different.

The last few weeks roll by in a state of panic Rory hasn’t felt in a long time. All of her friends were panicked by finals, but also saddened by the fact that this would be the last time everyone would be doing this together. When the day comes for Rory to pack up everything in the back of her SUV, everything feels a bit surreal.

“I’m scared,” Rory whispers to Piper as she puts the last box in the trunk.

“I think we all are,” Piper replies, smiling sadly. “This feels like we’re all being thrown into proper adulthood again with no better idea of what to do.”

Rory snorts. “Yeah, it really does. I just… nothing is gonna be the same, is it?”

“No, but don’t think you’re gonna get rid of me that easily. We didn’t go through all of this for nothing,” Piper reassures. “I know I can’t just waltz over when someone breaks your heart, but I’m still just a phone call away.”

“And you better call before making any impulsive decisions,” Rory teased.

“But they won’t be impulsive if I tell you first,” Piper groans.

Rory laughs. “Yeah, that’s kind of the point.”

“You’ll do great, Rory. Don’t let them intimidate you too much down there.”

“I’ll do my best.”

They hug tightly one last time before Rory gets in the car and starts the long drive to Denver. It feels weird not making the usual drive back to her parents house, and it takes everything in her to not just turn right around. She turns up the music, and focuses on just trying to get to the first motel of the drive. There’s something lonely about not making the long drive with anyone else, especially being so used to just driving with her friends. 

Over the next week, Rory makes the drive to Denver, making stops at different state parks to take in the view. Before she knows it, she’s rolled up to her new apartment complex. Everything starts to feel a bit more real as she realizes that this is where she’ll be living for quite some time. Taking a deep breath, she prepares herself for the long process of getting signed into her new place.

By the end of the day, Rory feels exhausted, even though she’s barely managed to unpack everything she brought. None of it is even organized yet, but it’s good enough for a first day. As she gets ready for bed, she groans, remembering that she still needs to get a bed, meaning that she’ll be sleeping on an air mattress until that happens. 

“Ugh, this is what I get,” Rory mutters as she sets up her sleeping situation. “At least I don’t start work for a few days. That’s an upside, right?”

A few moments later, her phone is ringing, and it’s none other than Piper, probably checking in to make sure that she made it safely to the apartment.

“Oh good, you’re not dead,” Piper says, obviously smiling.

Rory rolls her eyes. “No, I’m not dead, but I just remembered that I’m gonna have to sleep on an air mattress until I get a proper bed.”

“See, I told you that you should just tie one to the top of your car!” Piper exclaims.

“It would have gotten wet from sitting outside overnight though. Nobody wants a wet mattress.”

“But I bet it sounds better than an air mattress.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know about that,” Rory replies, laughing. “I guess that should be my first priority tomorrow. Honestly, I can’t believe I didn’t sort this out before I left.”

“You had other things to worry about, like making sure you didn’t fail your geology final,” Piper jokes.

“I suppose you’re not wrong,” Rory sighs dramatically.”

“Of course I’m not. Now, where are my pictures? Send me pictures,” Piper demands.

Thankfully, the rest of the conversation helps ease Rory’s nerves, and she falls asleep quickly that night. When she wakes up in the morning, she groans as she stretches a bit. She decides that trying to find something more comfortable to sleep on is her mission for the day.

The next few days pass rather quickly as Rory does her best to get herself organized and situated before starting work. As her first day approaches, she feels nervous, still unsure of what to make of everything. But she’s also excited for it, knowing that she’s been waiting for this moment ever since she decided to become a geology major.

When her first day rolls around, she can feel the nerves thrumming through her, and she ends up at the office almost an hour early. It doesn’t seem like anybody else is there yet, so she waits in the parking lot until somebody taps on her window. She startles, but calms down when Rory realizes that it’s Shea, the guy who interviewed her.

“It’s good to meet you in person, Rory,” Shea greets as Rory gets out of the car. “Got here a little bit early, I’m guessing?”

“Yeah, you would be correct,” she replies, smiling a little. “I just wasn’t sure what to expect with traffic and I was nervous, so…”

“Happens to all of us. We’re the first ones here, so I’ll give you a quick tour before everyone else gets here,” Shea replies.

The office is fairly small, but that’s not surprising considering a lot of the work is done on various field sites. Rory perks up a little when Shea shows that she’ll have her own little corner of the office; she’d assumed she’d have to share space with someone else.

“We just like to make sure everyone feels like they have their own space here. It just makes everyone feel a bit more comfortable, you know?” Shea explains when Rory brings it up. “Besides, it’s not like there’s that many of us to take up space.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” she replies.

Over the next few weeks, Rory feels a bit in over her head, but slowly starts to settle in. Her coworkers are welcoming, some inviting her to hang out outside of work as well. It’s more than she expected before moving to Denver, but she’s grateful for the warm welcome. There’s still days where she feels overwhelmed and misses seeing her friends every day, but she manages her best.

It’s a little over a month later when Shea invites her to go to the bar with a few other people from the office. Apparently it’s somewhat of a tradition with the group, and Rory feels delighted at being included.

“Of course you’re invited,” Shea says when Rory brings it up. “We just didn’t want to scare you off with being too much.”

Rory laughs a little. “I don’t think you guys can get any louder than my friends from university.”

“Well, I think we can take that as a challenge,” Ashton retorts. “Things can get a little bit wild over here.”

“Don’t listen to them, they’re just kidding,” Blair says, trying to hide her smile. “We mostly just hang out and grab a few drinks since most of us are past our partying days.”

The casual banter continues as they walk the few blocks to the bar that they frequent. Rory isn’t quite sure what she was expecting, but it seems like a relatively laid back place, at least in comparison to what she’s used to. At first, she feels a little bit out of place, unsure of where she stands with everyone in this new setting, but after a couple of drinks, she starts to settle in.

By the time she’s heading back to her apartment, Rory realizes that it’s been a long time since she’s laughed so much. There’s a small part of her that feels like she’s betraying her university friends, but she knows that’s ridiculous. Still, the feeling tugs at her, so she gives in and decides to call Piper, knowing that her friend will pick up.

“Hey, babe, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you,” Piper greets. “Is something up?”

“No, just missed you,” Rory whispers as she flops onto her bed. “Went out with some of my coworkers tonight and it felt weird. They were nice, but it’s just so different.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” Piper replies, obviously smiling. “I’m glad you found new drinking buddies.”

“Nah, it wasn’t like that,” Rory says. “We mostly just talked, you know? But made me miss everyone.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Piper inquires, a little bit concerned. “Or is it like a ‘just kind of missing everyone’ type of thing?”

“I guess I just realized how different everything is going to be now,” Rory says softly.

“Well, that’s not a bad thing. Besides, you know I would come kick your ass before I let you forget about me. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do, Piper, you know I wouldn’t forget you.”

“That’s good then. Now, tell me about who you went to the bar with. I want to know everything.”

Rory smiles softly before talking about her night. She’s not sure how long they spend on the phone together, but when she falls asleep, she feels calmer than she has in a long time. 

~ ~ ~

A few years down the line, and Rory has truly settled into Denver. She can’t imagine herself living anywhere else, and she’s grown to love her job and coworkers far more than she ever expected. There’s moments where it all feels a bit surreal that Rory was ever scared of moving, but now that she has great friends and a routine, it feels like this is what was meant to happen.

It’s another Friday night when she and the usual group are getting ready to head to the bar, albeit a bit later than normal. They all got swept up in a large project with a close deadline, and while going straight to bed sounds tempting, they’re more tempted by the new menu the bar rolled out earlier this week.

“I can’t believe I could be in bed, but instead I’m staying up to get bar food,” Ashton groans. “How the hell is this my life now?”

“I mean, it’s not too late to head back,” Rory teases. “We can always tell you about it on Monday.”

“That’s… that’s even worse,” Ashton complains. “This better be worth it.”

“Okay, but when has their food ever disappointed us?” Blair points out. 

“Exactly!” Shea exclaims. “Besides, we can just stay for food and then leave.”

“I guess,” Ashton sighs. 

When they get to the bar, they grab their normal table as Shea goes up to order. Considering it’s a Friday night, there aren’t too many people here, which is a big reason why they keep coming back. However, when Shea comes back with their food, a loud group comes walking in, earning them a couple of glares.

“Wait a minute,” Shea whispers, squinting at the group as he sets down the food. “I recognize them.”

Rory looks at him, confused. “Are they like… friends of yours that we don’t know about? I thought we were your only friends.”

“Oh my god,” Shea says, trying to hold back laughter. “No, they definitely play for the Avs. They are definitely professional athletes.”

“Well, what the fuck are they doing here then?” Ashton inquires as they grab some fries. “As much as I love it here, it’s kind of dingy.”

Shea shrugs. “Hell if I have a clue.”

They ignore the group for most of the night since they’re on opposite sides of the bar and never quite intersect. However, when Rory goes to get another drink, she sees her friends trying to not laugh as she makes her way back. She gives them a confused look, unsure if she did something weird.

“What did I miss?” Rory asks, concerned.

“Nothing, just seems like someone is checking you out,” Blair answers, smiling and glancing over to the Avs players. 

Rory snorts. “That’s a good one.”

“No, we’re being serious, I promise,” Ashton says, smirking. “You’re getting us drinks next just to make sure.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Rory replies, squinting. “Besides, I think you’re wrong.”

“Well, there’s no way to prove it if you don’t go back,” Ashton teases. “Don’t you want to know if a professional hockey player is checking you out.”

“I really think I’m good,” Rory sighs.

“Weren’t you just complaining to us about your lack of dating life? This is a great chance to turn things around,” Shea says, smiling widely. 

“I really hate all of you and I have no clue why we’re friends,” Rory groans.

“Look, it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?” Blair inquires. 

“Why do you say that like I’m going to go talk to them?” Rory whispers intently. “Because I’m not going to.”

Ashton rolls their eyes. “Fine, I guess. But it’s your loss. I was thinking you could at least badger him into buying our drinks or something.”

“Please, as if we don’t already get a discount for coming here all the fucking time,” Rory laughs. “Besides, I don’t think that a professional hockey player would want to date someone who’s idea of a Friday night is to go try new bar food.”

“You say that like this is a bad thing,” Blair jokes. “But we won’t push it if you really don’t want us to.”

“Look, maybe he checked me out, but that means nothing,” Rory says. “It just makes me feel kind of weird, I guess.”

“We’ll leave it alone then,” Shea replies firmly. 

They spend the rest of the night joking around, and start to head out. As Rory is grabbing her purse, ready to catch up with her friends who are already at the door, she hears a faint hello. She turns around and sees one of the Avs players, presumably the one her friends said was checking her out. 

“Oh, uh, hi,” Rory says awkwardly. “Did… did you need something?”

The guy blushes a little, which Rory admits is a little cute. “I just wanted to say hi and uh… maybe ask for your number?”

“I, uh,” Rory replies, taken off guard. “Going straight for it, huh? Not even going to ask my name?”

“Shit, that was… that was way too forward, wasn’t it?” the guy says, awkwardly laughing. 

Rory smiles a little bit. “Yeah, just a little bit. I’m Rory, by the way. And what’s your name?”

“I’m Nate,” the guy replies, looking a little bit confused.

“It’s nice to meet you Nate. And as much as I would love to give you my number, I also don’t know anything about you,” Rory replies.

“So that’s… that’s a no?” he asks, looking a little defeated.

“My friends and I come here every Friday night. If you’re not busy next week, swing by with a couple of your friends,” Rory answers, giving him a small smile. 

“Ah, you want to see if I pass the friend check first?” Nate inquires, smiling crookedly.

Rory nods. “See you around then?”

“I - yeah, of course,” Nate says faintly as Rory walks off.

She can feel herself internally screaming, unsure if what she did was smart or not. Even if Nate is a professional athlete, she still doesn’t know him, and giving her number to strangers doesn’t feel quite right. When she meets up with her friends outside, they’re all giving her inquisitive looks.

“So, did loverboy come over and talk to you?” Ashton inquires.

Rory blushes. “Yeah, he asked for my number, and I, uh, I didn’t give it to him? I just told him to meet us here next week if he was really interested.”

“Holy shit, that’s bold,” Shea says, smiling. “But like… not in a bad way. It’s probably for the best, if I’m being honest.”

“Making him work for it, I like it,” Blair comments, smiling.

Rory sighs loudly. “I’m not making him work for it, it’s just that I don’t like giving my number to people I don’t know.”

“Whatever you say,” Blair says, rolling her eyes a little bit. “Let’s just hope he shows up next week then.”

Throughout the next week, they find any chance to tease Rory about the upcoming Friday night. Not that any of this really surprised her, though, especially knowing that they’ve been there for all of her complaining about being single. They want this to be something good just as much as she does. When the day finally rolls around, they all keep giving her smirks, knowing what’s about to happen.

“You know, he might not even show up,” Rory points out as they pack up their things.

Ashton snorts. “Something tells me that he will.”

“If Ashton says so, then it must be true,” Shea says, smiling widely. “Hopefully he doesn’t keep us waiting too long.”

“You guys are the worst,” Rory mutters. 

Everyone laughs as they start the familiar walk towards the bar. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, Rory feels nervous. There’s a big part of her that feels like the previous week wasn’t even real, especially considering what a big shot Nate is in Denver. If he doesn’t show up, she tries to reason that it was a fluke and she has nothing to be hurt over. However, there’s also a small part of her that hopes it means something.

“So, like… did you even sort any details out with him besides coming here tonight?” Blair inquires, curious. 

“Just decided to hope for the best,” Rory replies, shrugging. “Didn’t think it would be a big deal or anything.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Shea snickers. “And would you look at that - looks like he brought backup too.”

“Dear god,” Rory murmurs as she looks over at the entrance.

Nate looks around confused for a few moments before he spots Rory. He smiles brightly when he spots her, making Rory blush and sink down in her seat. Even though she knows that she’s the one who set this up, she still feels weird about it, unsure of what to really expect of tonight. Thankfully, her friends don’t say anything as he makes his way over.

“Good to see you didn’t bail out,” Nate says once he gets up to the table. “Mind if we grab a seat?”

“Might be more convenient than standing,” Rory jokes.

“I - okay, you have a point,” Nate says as his friends try to hold back their laughter.

“So, who are your friends?” Rory asks as they grab a seat.

“Oh, this is Gabe and Tyson,” Nate answers. “And… you all are?”

“These are my coworkers and, unfortunately, also my best friends,” Rory explains. “This is Shea, Ashton, and Blair.”

“Nice to meet all of you,” Nate says awkwardly. 

There’s a few moments of silence where nobody quite knows what to say. To be honest, Rory didn’t actually plan for this because she wasn’t sure if Nate would actually show up tonight. She’s not quite sure how to break the silence, unsure of what to talk about.

“So, what do all of you do for work?” Gabe inquires, obviously looking for anything to talk about.

Things get a little bit easier after that, as they explain the work they do with LiDAR. They end up using the same explanation they use when schools tour their office - just a simple way to explore what’s underground using light. Rory gets the sense that a chunk of it is going over Nate and his friends’ heads, but they genuinely look interested in what’s happening. Something about that makes her feel a little bit more at ease, even if they aren’t totally getting it, they’re at least trying.

“And I mean, we’re a pretty ragtag group since this is kind of a weird field to end up in. So I guess it makes sense that we all just kind of clicked,” Shea explains. 

“That must be nice,” Nate says, smiling softly. 

“So, what do you do?” Ashton inquires, trying their hardest to not smile.

Rory rolls her eyes, knowing that Ashton is just trying to get them to talk a bit more.

“Oh, uh, we all play hockey for the Avalanche,” Nate answers, obviously taken a little bit off guard. 

“Care to tell the class about what that means?” Blair asks. “Like… what’s that even like?”

Nate seems to loosen up a little as he gets to talk about something he’s obviously comfortable with. The rest of the night seems to pass quickly, and before Rory knows it, everyone starts heading out for the evening. Before she gets up from the table, though, she notices Nate giving her a questioning look.

“We’ll wait for you outside,” Shea says as he looks between the two of them. “If you’re not out in five minutes, I’ll come back inside, though.”

Rory nods and turns back to Nate. “Seems like you passed the friend check.”

“Oh, well, that’s good,” he replies, laughing nervously. “Does that mean I can get your number?”

“I suppose so,” Rory replies, trying to not laugh.

After exchanging numbers, they head out, and Rory’s friends are obviously interested in what happened. She rolls her eyes, knowing that they’re too nosy for their own good.

“We just exchanged numbers, that’s it,” Rory says. “Literally nothing else happened.”

“Like… no future dates planned?” Blair inquires, teasing.

“No,” Rory says. “I still barely know him.”

“But like… is that not the point of a date?” Shea replies, smiling. 

“You’re all the worst, I can’t believe we’re friends,” Rory groans. 

Ashton smiles widely. “Please, we’re the best. Who else would sit through an unofficial first date?”

“That’s not what this was!” Rory exclaims, blushing. “I don’t need you to chaperone me.”

“Sure, but we did it anyways,” Ashton snickers. 

Rory rolls her eyes, but lets it drop. “Well, at least you’ll be the first to know if anything actually does happen.”

“We better be,” Blair laughs. “Anyways, I’ll see you all on Monday. Make sure to get some sleep because we all know how busy things are going to be next week.”

“Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it,” Ashton groans. 

The group laughs as they all head their separate ways. When Rory gets back to her apartment, she knows she has to tell Piper, knowing that her friend is going to want to know everything. Piper has been there for everything, and if anyone would know what to do next, it would be her.

“Rory, what’s got you calling me so late?” Piper asks, teasing a little.

“So, uh, do you remember me telling you about the guy last week? I finally got his number,” Rory says. “And, uh, I’m only freaking out a little bit.”

Piper snorts. “Well, that’s a good start at least. Have you texted him at all yet?”

“Uh, no?” Rory replies. “What would I even say?”

“Maybe ask if he had a good night or whatever,” Piper says, obviously trying to not laugh.

“I- fuck, you’re probably right,” Rory mutters.

“But honestly, you don’t need to make it a thing right away. And that’s probably the right way to go, you know?”

“So… just be friends? I feel like he wanted my number for a date.”

“Sure, but also as your best friend, I know you don’t like dating people you don’t really know either. If it’s a big deal, then it’s whatever.”

“That’s easy for you to say, Piper.”

“Maybe, but there’s no harm in taking things slow. Besides, you said he was a professional athlete, right? The dude could pick anyone to hang out with on a Friday night and he picked you. I really think you’re fine.”

“I really hate when you’re the voice of reason,” Rory groans.

Rory laughs. “It has to happen sometimes. But seriously, I would stress about it, and just play it casual. There’s no reason to force yourself to do something you’re not ready to do.”

“I want to be ready, though,” Rory whispers. “I’ve been complaining about this ever since I moved to Denver.”

“Whatever happens, it’ll all be okay. Just keep me in the loop, okay?” Piper says. “Now go drink some water and go to bed.”

“Thank you Piper,” Rory says softly. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. I’ll talk to you soon,” Piper replies before hanging up.

Rory sighs, but does what Piper said. After chugging down a glass of water, she sends a quick text to Nate asking what he thought of the night before promptly deciding to pass out. She’s not even sure if he’s still awake, but it’s better to just get it over with.

When she wakes up, Rory immediately checks her phone, but doesn’t see a reply. She shrugs it off, assuming he’s still asleep. As the day goes on, she gets more nervous at the lack of reply, but tries to not think anything of it. Professional athletes have weird schedules, so she blames it on that. Turns out, she’s right when he replies later that afternoon.

Hey, sorry for not replying earlier, I barely made it to practice on time :(

No!!! Don’t worry about it, I can’t imagine having to go to work right now lmao

I had a great time though!! I really liked your friends and I’m glad I got to meet them

I’ll be sure to tell them, hopefully their ego doesn’t get to big 

Fingers crossed lmao

Would you maybe want to hang out again sometime? Or I can invite you to a game or something

…is now the time to be honest that I don’t know that much about hockey

Is that why you didn’t know who I was that first night?

Yeah it would be 😅

Rip looks like I lost that bet. But it wouldn’t be a deal breaker! Just have to have you come to a game so you can learn :)

I’m sold then 👀 Can’t wait to be confused the whole time skfjsdf

Would any of your coworkers want to come? We actually have a game Friday night, and I’m guessing that you’re all usually free then

I’ll have to check to see if they won’t be too mad at messing up our bar ritual. I’m sure they’ll agree though!

Let me know asap so I can get you tickets

omg no don’t worry about that, we can get our own tickets

I can get you all good tickets though :) 

…fine

:)

Rory rolls her eyes, but she smiles a little bit. She’s excited that Nate is including her friends in plans like this because they’re important to her. And she also wants to make sure that they like anyone she’s interested in as well. Before she forgets, Rory sends a text to the group chat asking if they’d be up for the game the following week.

By the end of the day, they all agreed, and she lets Nate know immediately. He sends a smiley face back, and says that their tickets will be at the front office. Despite knowing that she won’t see him at all that day, she still feels nervous. There’s something about it that feels like he’s letting her into a part of his life, even though it’s such a public position of his.

Before she forgets, she lets Piper know, who promptly screams about how excited she is. Knowing that one of her best friends seems to approve of him - even in a vague way - helps reassure Rory just a little bit more. 

Despite the large workload, the week passes by quickly, and before Rory knows it, it’s Friday night, and she’s headed to Pepsi Center. She feels nervous, and it doesn’t help that her friends have been teasing her all week. Even though she knows she won’t be seeing Nate after the game, she still feels the need to impress him somehow.

“Come on, the dude gave you fucking tickets to watch him play. I think he wants to impress you,” Shea points out as they grab their seats.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Rory mumbles. “I feel like he doesn’t need to do much.”

“I mean, you were the one who turned him down the first time,” Blair replies, smirking.

“Yeah, I’m sure he doesn’t get that often,” Ashton says. “Like, the dude probably hasn’t heard ‘no’ for a while.”

“Have I told you that you’re all the worst?” Rory jokes. “But seriously, this feels like a lot when we still barely know each other.”

“Okay, but also consider that he has money. Like this was probably nothing for him,” Ashton says. 

“You know, this really isn’t making anything better,” Rory groans. “It’s just making me even more anxious.”

Blair tugs her into a side hug. “Look, I’m sure he just wants to show off a little bit. And he also probably gets some allotted tickets or something. Just don’t sweat it too much.”

“But if he’s willing to give us more tickets…” Shea jokes.

“We’ve officially hung out once, you guys,” Rory groans. “I don’t even know if I can consider him a friend.”

“Whatever you say,” Shea replies, trying to not smile. 

Thankfully, they all move onto lighter subjects after, and get lost in conversation until the game starts. Rory had asked Nate some questions about the game throughout the week, but she’s still lost as she gets lost in the action. Sure, she understands the basics of it, but there’s moments where she’s not quite sure what just happened.

Towards the end of the second period, Nate scores a goal and Rory cheers loudly. It’s almost over as quick as it started, but he points over to where she’s sitting, making her blush and sink down into her seat. Her friends don’t even try to hide their laughter at the whole situation.

“Maybe he just always points over here,” Rory mumbles.

“Something tells me that he doesn’t,” Blair replies, still laughing. 

Rory rolls her eyes before turning her focus back onto the game. Thankfully, the rest of the game passes without incident, and the Avs end up winning. She sends Nate a quick congratulatory text, as well as saying that she really enjoyed the game. He doesn’t respond, which she figured would be the case, so she tucks her phone back into her pocket.

“Are you sure you’re not meeting up with him after?” Ashton inquires. “We won’t tease you too much about ditching us for him.”

“Yeah, he said he’s usually pretty tired after evening games and isn’t much for conversation,” Rory replies. “Not that I can really blame him.”

“That’s a shame,” Shea sighs. “I was really hoping we’d have something fun to bet on.”

“You wouldn’t dare bet on that,” Rory accuses, squinting a little. 

“Oh, he most definitely would. It’s a normal thing, unfortunately,” Blair replies. “But that’s understandable. Hopefully you can catch him some other time.”

Rory shrugs. “I’m sure we will.”

When Rory gets home, she checks her phone and sees that Nate sent a smiley face and a simple call me? She hesitates for a moment, before deciding to hit the call button.

“Hey,” Nate greets after a few moments. “I’m really glad you came tonight.”

“Yeah, I had an amazing time. It was a lot more fun than I was expecting,” Rory replies.

“I’m really sorry that we couldn’t hang out for longer, but I wouldn’t want to fall asleep on you,” Nate explains. “But if you’re free this weekend, maybe we can get lunch or something.”

“I - yeah, that would be really nice, actually. Do you have a preference for which day?”

“Uh, I guess Sunday would work. I can text you a time and place.”

“That would be really nice,” Rory says softly. “I’ll see you then.”

They sit on the phone for a couple seconds in silence, neither quite sure what to say. Rory doesn’t want the call to end, but she doesn’t want to keep Nate up too long.

“Can I ask why you didn’t give me your number that first night? I know you said you wanted me to pass the friend check but…” Nate inquires, hesitant.

“I mean, I didn’t really know who you were. I just felt kind of weird giving my number to some strange guy I briefly talked to at the bar,” Rory answers.

“Oh, I… yeah, that makes sense,” Nate says. “And Sunday, would it be a date? Or just friends?”

Rory pauses for a moment to think. She wants it to be a date, but she also knows that it would give Nate the wrong idea. As much as she wants to have a partner, she also knows that she just needs a little more time to be sure of herself and her emotions.

“Just friends, if that’s okay,” Rory whispers. “If that’s not what you were hoping for, I’m sorry. It’s just… I want to be friends first before anything else.”

“Of course that’s okay,” Nate replies. “Doesn’t change a thing.”

Rory frowns a little. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m very sure. I wouldn’t say it otherwise.”

“I - okay then,” Rory replies. “I should let you go to bed.”

“See you Sunday then,” Nate says, smiling, before hanging up.

Much to Rory’s surprise, Sunday went well. Things weren’t weird, something she was fully expecting to happen, but lunch passed by quickly. They ended up making tentative plans to hang out again soon, with Nate making it very clear there were no expectations attached. Knowing that, Rory started to feel more and more comfortable around him.

“I don’t know what to say to you except that it tore the heart out of my body saying goodbye to you.” — Vita Sackville-West

To be honest, Rory never really expected to become such good friends with Nate, as well as some of his friends by extension. Over the last several months, they’ve gotten close, but never spoke of a possibility of furthering their relationship. As much as she wants to bring it up, Rory also is perfectly content with keeping things the way they are.

However, there’s moments when she wonders if she should say something. Sometimes, she’ll see Nate giving her a look or a certain smile that just makes her think. And he was very adamant in the beginning that if they were to ever date, it would be at her pace. So maybe he’s waiting for her to say something, but Rory doesn’t have the heart to ruin a perfectly good friendship.

“You know, I really feel like he feels the same way. I don’t see the harm in doing something about it,” Blair says one Friday night. “I mean, you have the dude wrapped around your finger.”

“I just want to be sure,” Rory says firmly.

“You know what would make you completely sure? Asking him out,” Ashton replies. “Like, you’re in a perfect spot right now.”

“And I really doubt he would be mean about it either,” Shea points out. “Plus, you’ve been saying how you wanted to be friends first before doing anything. And now what are you?”

“Ugh,” Rory groans. “Just give me some time, okay? I’ll do it when I’m ready.”

Blair frowns. “If you say so.”

“I do say so,” Rory replies. “Besides, if I fuck this up, we won’t get anymore free hockey tickets. Then what?”

“Then we don’t go to hockey games. Like, we’re going because they’re fun, but most importantly because Nate has become someone important to you,” Ashton answers. 

“I promise I’ll say something when I’m ready,” Rory whispers. “Just drop it, please.”

“Okay,” Shea says, obviously unsure. “We’ll have your back no matter what you decide.”

“Thank you,” Rory replies. “Now, what’s everyone’s plans for Valentine’s day this year? Because Nate invited us to a game if nobody has anything going on.”

“You want us to drop the subject but then you immediately tell us that Nate invited us to a Valentine’s day game?” Ashton exclaims.

“I - you know what, shut up,” Rory groans. “He’s friends with all of us, okay?”

“Mhm, I’m sure of that,” Shea mutters. 

“Maybe I’ll just take the tickets then,” Rory retorts. 

“I’m sure he would appreciate that,” Blair whispers, smirking.

“Good lord, do you want the tickets or not?” Rory asks, exasperated.

“I guess we can go,” Shea answers, acting put out.

“Oh, I guess we can go,” Rory mocks. “Jesus, you can just say yes.”

Ashton smiles widely. “But that’s not as fun.”

“Whatever you say,” Rory says, rolling her eyes.

Later that night, Rory texts Nate, saying that everyone is in for the game the following week. He sends back a smiley face and a thumbs up in return. She sighs as she gets ready for bed, thinking over what her friends had told her earlier that night.

She knows that she doesn’t have much to lose in confessing her feelings, but she also knows how busy Nate is. He’s especially focused now with playoffs coming up in a couple of months, and she knows that most of his time is spent at practice or doing something hockey related. Not that she can really blame him, she knows how hard he works, especially being a face of the franchise.

Even Piper has told her that he makes time for her now as a friend, and if he seems to feel the same way, he would definitely make time for her as a girlfriend. But something about it feels selfish to Rory in a way that she can’t explain. So, she decides to wait until the playoffs are over to say anything, and at the very least, it’ll give her more time to feel confident in her confession.

Before she knows it, she and her friends are off to Pepsi Center for the Valentine’s day game. Since this is an afternoon game, Nate agreed to meet up with them after at their usual bar with a couple of his friends. With none of them having plans, they all agreed they could all commiserate together. At the very least, it would feel less lonely than normal.

Something Rory didn’t tell the group is that they got seats right behind the Avs for today's game. She hesitated saying anything, knowing that her friends wouldn’t shut up about it. But maybe that was a bad decision because once they got to their seats and made themselves comfortable, everyone turned towards Rory. She groans, knowing exactly where the conversation has headed. As much as they laid off the teasing about Nate, she also knew they wanted the best for her.

“So, like, nothing has changed in the last week, right?” Blair inquires. “Nothing we should know about?”

“No, Nate just wanted to get us good seats for today,” Rory grumbles. “This is why I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh so you knew that we would be getting good seats today,” Ashton replies, inquisitive. “I’m starting to  think that you’re lying to us.”

“I swear I’m not lying!” Rory exclaims. “He just wanted to do something nice for all of us. Because we’re all his friends.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” Shea replies, smiling. 

The game goes by in a blur, and before Rory knows it, they're off to the bar. Thankfully, her friends only tease her a couple more times before laying off. As much as she knows they mean well, it still gets a little tiring not hearing the end of it. When they get to the bar, things are fairly slow, especially considering what day it is.

“So, did you have fun?” Nate inquires as he comes to sit with them at their usual table. 

“It was fun, but it would have been even better if Rory told us we got better seats today,” Shea answers, giving Rory a look.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Rory groans. “How many times will I have to tell you this?”

Shea snorts. “You know we’ll never let you live it down. But it was seriously a good game.”

“Good, I’m glad you guys had fun,” Nate replies, smiling softly.

As the night starts to pass, Rory feels herself look at Nate more than she wants to admit. But it’s hard not to - he just naturally demands attention. Whenever she catches herself looking too long, she does her best to look away and not think about all of her feelings. As much as it pains her, she’s going to keep true to her promise of not saying anything about them quite yet.

By the time everyone is heading out of the bar, Blair holds onto Rory’s arm, holding her back. Rory gives her a questioning look, but quickly picks up that Blair wants to say something. They wave off the rest of the group, and finally get a moment alone.

“Are you really not going to say how you feel, Rory? You can’t keep quiet forever,” Blair says. 

“I - yeah, I’m not going to say anything. It’s just… things are hard for him right now with the playoffs coming up and I don’t want to get in the way of that,” Rory replies.

Blair frowns a little bit. “I have a feeling it wouldn’t be as bad as you’re making it out to be.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but I feel too guilty doing anything,” Rory sighs. “Just let me say something in my own time, okay?”

“Okay,” Blair says hesitantly. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is what I want,” Rory says, much more firmly than she feels.

~ ~ ~

And as much as it pains Rory to do so, she doesn’t say anything all through the lead up to playoffs. Blair keeps giving her looks, but never says anything, knowing that there’s no changing Rory’s mind now. Besides, if Nate turns her down, she has a whole summer away from him to recover from the rejection. She’s just doing her best to keep herself safe at this point.

It’s mid-April now and the playoffs are starting to ramp up, and Rory is hanging out with Nate on a rare afternoon where they’re both free. She’s savoring it as much as she can, knowing that his free time is especially thin now. Nate hasn’t made it to a Friday night bar trip in weeks, and Rory has mostly watched him from afar at games.

“I feel bad that we’ve hardly seen each other lately,” Nate says as he pulls up some random nature documentary.

“You’re busy, Nate,” Rory replies. “I’m not exactly expecting to be a priority right now.”

Nate frowns. “I… that sounds so bad when you put it that way.”

“It’s true, though,” Rory says, shrugging. “And I’m not really hurt by it. I know you and the other guys have a lot to prove this year.”

“I just feel bad about it,” Nate whispers.

“You warned me that this would happen. I can’t exactly be mad that what you said would happen is happening.”

“You’re right, but it doesn’t make me happy.”

“But we’re here now. And I really don’t mind that you forget to text back sometimes,” Rory laughs. “As long as you don’t completely forget about me.”

“I would never,” Nate snorts. “Besides, your friends make it hard to forget anything.”

“And that’s what makes them loveable.”

“Unfortunately,” Nate replies, smiling softly. “Ugh, as much as I love being in the playoffs, it sucks that I don’t get more days like this.”

Rory gives him a curious look. “What, watching random nature documentaries?”

“No, just hanging out with my friends,” Nate says, laughing. 

“Huh, didn’t know you had a chill bone in you during the playoffs,” Rory teases. 

“Oh my god, I hate you,” Nate groans.

“I’m sure you do,” Rory replies, smiling.

They pass the rest of the afternoon teasing each other, hardly paying attention to anything that plays on the TV. There’s a moment where she wants to say something, put everything out in the open, but it would be the end of everything if she was being honest. So, she keeps quiet, and tries to squash down her feelings.

“Well, I’ll see you soon, I hope,” Rory says as she gets ready to head out. “And don’t forget to text me back.”

Nate smiles softly. “I’ll do my best.”

“I suppose that’s the best I can ask for,” Rory sighs, smiling back. “And good luck on your game on Monday. You’ve been working hard for it.”

“I’ll win it for you,” Nate says softly.

There’s a brief moment where their eyes connect, and Rory thinks about leaning in and kissing him, but she looks away before she makes a mistake. By the time she glances back over, the moment is broken, lost to the short moment of hesitation. She wonders what would have happened if she kissed him, but tries to not think about the what-ifs.

“Alright, I’ll catch you around,” Rory says softly as she heads out.

“Uh, yeah, see you around,” Nate replies awkwardly.

As Rory drives home, she sighs deeply. She feels a twinge of regret at not doing anything, especially with an opportunity like what she had. But rushing it and saying something when she wasn’t ready feels even worse, even though she’s been ready for longer than she wants to admit. As much as she wants to talk to Piper or Blair about what happened, she knows that they would just be confused.

The one thing that keeps her calm is just waiting for the end of the playoffs to happen. And with how well the Avs are doing right now, it might be through the Stanley Cup finals. Rory does her best to make peace with it, knowing that she inflicted it upon herself. Besides, she’s been waiting this long to say something, a couple more months wouldn’t seem like much.

Except the following months seem to pass by like dripping honey. Even with all the things that are piling up at work, Rory finds herself having a hard time focusing. Nate barely replies to her texts anymore, and the responses are usually just smiley faces. It hurts more than she wants to admit to anyone, but her friends pick up on it right away.

“What’s going on with you?” Ashton inquires one Friday night. “You’ve been like… super out of it lately.”

“I - this is going to sound so dumb,” Rory mumbles. “It’s just Nate hasn’t been replying a lot lately, but he’s busy with the Avs right now.”

“Like… he’s just ignoring you?” Blair asks. 

“I mean, I guess? But he replies to things eventually, even if it takes a little while,” Rory explains. 

“There’s more to it than that, isn’t there?” Shea says. “Don’t forget we can read you like a book, Rory.”

Rory sighs deeply. “I mean, it’s just his replies have been super short, like just emoji responses. I don’t think I’ve gotten an actual word from him since the end of April.”

“That’s actually kind of shitty,” Ashton replies, frowning. “Like, you guys are friends, you think he could respond with something.”

“He’s busy though,” Rory whispers. 

“Too busy to send a short text with words to one of his friends?” Blair asks, raising an eyebrow. “I really fucking doubt it, babe.”

“Shit, you’re probably right, but he told me this would happen,” Rory groans.

Blair gives her a look. “That doesn’t make it any better, you know.”

“Yeah, I feel like that makes it even worse,” Shea replies, frowning deeply. “Who the fuck doesn’t reply to their friends?”

“He’s just got a lot going on! I’m sure things will be better soon,” Rory says weakly. “Right?”

“I don’t know, Rory,” Ashton answers weakly. “Maybe just be a bit more firm with him next time. Like he has to reply with words at some point.”

“I guess so,” Rory mumbles.

“If he doesn’t, I’ll personally kick his ass,” Shea replies brightly.

“There’s no way you could take him on,” Rory says, squinting. “I love you, but there’s no way you would beat him in a fight.”

“That’s what you all think, and it’s why I would win,” Shea jokes.

Rory rolls her eyes, snorting. “If that’s what you want to believe.”

“Of course,” Shea replies, smiling brightly. 

Things get a little bit easier after that, but there’s still a distinct silence from Nate. As much as Rory wants to wave it off and not be hurt by it, she is. She’s starting to miss the smiley faces at this point because at least then, she knew that he was seeing her messages. But now… now she’s not really sure what to think.

She ends up calling Piper, knowing that her friend will get what she’s going through. And she also doesn’t want her friends in Denver to worry more than they already are about the whole situation.

“Honestly, I don’t think there’s much else you can do unless you want to barge into his apartment,” Piper says after Rory explains everything.

“I can’t do that,” Rory replies, frowning. “I don’t want to force him to hang out when he doesn’t want to.”

“Well, he’s not responding to anything, stopping by won’t hurt anyone,” Piper suggests. “I mean, you’ve been there before.”

“That’s just different,” Rory sighs. “Maybe this is his way of saying he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“Something tells me that you’re wrong about that,” Piper says. “I mean, you said everything was fine the last time you hung out together, right?”

“Yeah,” Rory answers. “Like, I knew he was busy and he said he would try to not drop off the map, but…”

Piper snorts. “That obviously didn’t work out. But are you sure you can’t just stop by or something?”

“It feels like a step too far,” Rory whispers. “Like, I don’t want to seem desperate for attention or anything. I knew he was going to be busy and that I wouldn’t be a top priority, you know?”

“I - shit, that doesn’t sound great,” Piper says. “Maybe just give it until after the playoffs. If he doesn’t say anything afterwards, it’s definitely time to move on.”

Rory sighs. “You’re right. I just feel like I fucked up somewhere and I don’t know how.”

“To be honest, I don’t think there’s anything you could have done differently.”

“I suppose so.”

“Look, I’ll be here anytime you need something, no matter how stupid it sounds. Take care of yourself, babe,” Piper says. “Now, tell me about work? What’s the new hot gossip?”

The conversation moves on to lighter topics and Rory feels lighter after hanging up. She’s still worried about Nate, but there’s nothing she can do about it all now. Whatever happens next, Rory still has her friends and that’s what matters the most, even if she wishes it could turn out a bit differently.

As the weeks drag on, Rory still hears nothing from Nate. It starts to hurt less the more she accepts that he’s never going to respond. Piper suggests going to his place again, but it feels wrong intruding on Nate when they haven’t spoken in months. He’s giving clear enough signs at this point that he wants to be left alone.

It’s early June when Rory hears about the Avs winning the Stanley Cup. She’s happy for them, for Nate, even if they haven’t had a single conversation in ages. They worked hard for this and deserve the numerous celebrations that’ll be coming in the following days. 

There’s a moment of hesitation Rory has about sending a congratulatory text to Nate. She’s not sure if it would come off as weird or anything, but she decides to send something anyways. Despite everything, Rory wants Nate to know that she’s proud of him and how hard he’s worked to get this. The silence in the following days isn’t surprising, but something about it still hurts Rory.

“It’s because you care too much,” Blair says at their usual Friday night ritual, smiling sadly. “And he had a chance to say anything, but he didn’t.”

“I don’t know what I was hoping for,” Rory whispers.

“Maybe you were hoping for him to be a decent person,” Ashton snorts. “You’ve given him more chances than he deserves.”

“Like I’ve said before, I’ll kick his ass,” Shea offers. “Dude probably deserves to be knocked down a peg or two.”

“I appreciate it, but he deserves this,” Rory says. “He’s worked hard.”

“Worked harder at breaking your heart though,” Ashton mutters.

Rory rolls her eyes. “It’s fine, I really should have expected this from the start, if I’m being honest. I was pushing my luck even being his friend.”

“No, I don’t think you were,” Blair says firmly. “He was lucky to have you in his life at all.”

“Yeah, he’s the one losing out,” Shea says, smiling. 

“You guys are the best,” Rory whispers. “I’m sure I’ll forget about him after the summer is over. Lord knows we have our work cut out for us with all these new jobs.”

“I don’t even want to think about it,” Shea groans.

“Aren’t you the one handing out all the work?” Ashton teases. “I don’t think you have the right to complain about this.”

“Please don’t remind me,” Shea sighs.

Thankfully, the conversation moves past Nate, something Rory is incredibly grateful for. Whatever this summer holds, hopefully getting over him is in the cards for her, even if it pains Rory to think that. There’s no point left in worrying about someone who doesn’t care to respond to her texts as much as she wants to.

Rory’s workload over the summer piles up, which is to be expected for this time of year. Summer is always busy, especially with all of the interns coming through the office. She tries to help them as much as she can, but it makes for some long days. Even though it leaves her exhausted, it also lets her slowly get over the initial hurt of Nate. Besides, she remembers being in their shoes and it’s the least she can do to be nice to them.

By the time October and the start of a new NHL season roll around, Rory feels less bitter and far removed from the whole thing with Nate. But there’s still a small part of her that’s filled with regret and longing for what could have been. She would be lying if she didn’t think about all the things she could have done differently, but didn’t out of fear. It’s too late to change things now, though, and she does her best to not think about it in her weakest moments.

“You know, I never realized how much they plaster Nate’s face all over the city until this year,” Shea comments one Friday night. “Like… do we really need to be seeing his face that much.”

Rory snorts. “You sound more mad about it than I do.”

“Yeah, because you won’t let yourself be upset,” Ashton points out.

“Because I’m not upset,” Rory replies, rolling her eyes. “I promise I’m over him, okay? Like, it wasn’t going to go anywhere.”

“Uh huh, sure it wasn’t,” Blair says, giving Rory a pointed look. 

“Look, it’s been months at this point, I don’t have anything to be hung up on,” Rory groans. “Do you want me to prove it or something?”

“Yeah, actually,” Shea says. “Like… are you over him enough to go to a hockey game?”

Rory squints a bit at him. “Are you challenging me?”

“Maybe so,” Shea replies, smiling. “So… how does next week sound?”

“Let me guess, you already got tickets?” Rory inquires.

“You would be right,” Shea answers, smirking. “If any of us catch you longingly staring at him, it’s game over and we’ll have a proper night to drown out our sorrows.”

Rory sighs. “Fine, I guess.”

As the game day approaches, Rory can feel herself growing more and more nervous. While she feels confident about the fact that she’s gotten over the worst of it, she’s not sure how she feels about seeing Nate. Seeing him in person feels odd - especially at a game, where she only ever went to specifically see Nate. But she does her best to assure herself that she’s strong enough to get through one game.

When they grab their seats the following week, Rory doesn’t feel much better. She knows her friends can tell, but they’re being kind enough to not say anything. If anything, Rory wants to prove to herself that she can get through this without being weird about the whole situation. Besides, their seats are rather far back and she tries to reason that it’ll make things easier.

However, she turns out to be very, very wrong when Rory sees the players skate to their bench before the game starts. Her heart drops and feels a twinge of panic seep through her bones. Even though she knows that there’s no way Nate will know they’re here at a game, she fears that he’ll just know and get angry for intruding.

“Are you going to be okay?” Blair whispers.

“I - I think so,” Rory answers softly. “I need to get through this for myself.”

“It’s not too late to leave, it’s really not that big of a deal,” Blair reasons. “I promise none of us will be mad if this is too much.”

“I just - I want to show myself that what happened isn’t that big of a deal, okay?” Rory replies firmly.

Blair frowns. “Okay, but if it gets too much…”

“I’ll let you know,” Rory says, smiling softly.

As the game goes on, Rory can feel herself feeling more comfortable with seeing Nate. Something about seeing him just helps seal the deal, and Rory decides that he’s not worth being sad over as much as her heart says otherwise. By the time it’s over and everyone is leaving the game, she feels a bit lighter.

“So… how are we feeling?” Ashton inquires innocently.

Rory smiles. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“I mean, I hope you’re happy, But the sky is still the sky without you, And I’m not surprised by that anymore.” — Caitlyn Siehl

As the months pass and as Rory makes it through another Denver winter, she starts to forget about Nate. There’s still times where she thinks about the possibilities, but she’s moved on and passed the worst of it. She has other things to worry about, like a new promotion at work and trying to catch up with all of the new responsibilities that come with it.

“Who the hell decided that I was the best person to be put in charge of the interns?” Rory groans one early spring morning. 

“You helped them anyways, we just decided to make it official,” Shea snorts. “Now you officially get to be the mother hen.”

“Have I told you that I hate you?” Rory teases.

Shea lets out a loud laugh. “It’s been a whole week, I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Rory says sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “God, I never realized how many fucking applications we got. How the hell am I supposed to choose?”

“Drunk darts?” Ashton suggests as they pass by Rory’s desk. 

“The fact that I briefly considered that…” Rory says, sighing. “I might take a look at them on Monday because I feel like my brain is melting.”

“Welcome to the club!” Ashton replies cheerily. “At least today is Friday and we can all drown our sorrows together.”

“Cheers to that,” Rory sighs. 

By the time they get to the bar that night, Rory feels completely exhausted. She loves her work, but her newfound responsibilities have been a lot to try and handle. It only made the Friday night ritual all the more welcome and she had an even better understanding why her friends started it in the first place.

“You know, I never expected to be in this position when I graduated,” Rory remarks.

“What, working in the field you specialized in?” Blair inquires, confused.

“No, like...being in a place I genuinely enjoyed working at. I feel like it’s such a long shot and I never expected to stay here this long,” Rory explains.

“Well, it just means you were meant to end up here,” Ashton says smiling.

“I suppose so,” Rory replies, smiling softly. 

None of them process the door opening until Shea starts frowning a little bit. Rory turns a little to look, and feels herself freeze a little when she spots Nate. She spins back and tries to not think about how they're in the same space again for the first time in months.

“Fancy seeing him again,” Shea remarks bitterly. “Can I punch him if he comes over here?”

“We’re not getting kicked out of our favorite bar,” Rory groans.

“Fine, I guess,” Shea sighs. “Only for you, though.”

“Only because I’m here, right?” Rory asks, giving him a stern look.

“No, most definitely not,” Shea answers, trying to not smile.

“Whatever, we’re ignoring them,” Rory says. “I want to have a good time and it doesn’t involve him.”

“Even if he’s staring us down?” Ashton inquires, trying to be quiet.

“Please tell me he’s not,” Rory groans.

“Unfortunately he is,” Blair responds, with a hint of bitterness. “You know what, maybe it’s time we change up bars, try something new.”

“But we’ve been coming here for years, I don’t want to leave just because that asshole is here,” Shea complains. “I don’t want to hunt for another one!”

“Maybe it’s just for one night,” Rory says weakly. 

“Do you think the bartenders like us enough to kick out several NHL players?” Ashton inquires innocently. “I mean… I know they have money, but we’re also like… regulars.”

“Might be a long shot,” Blair answers, sighing a little bit.

“He’s still staring at us,” Ashton mumbles. “I kind of just want to leave. Maybe we can stop by the diner right down the road instead.”

“Maybe that can be our thing for a couple weeks to throw him off our trail for a bit,” Shea replies. “And also so I don’t punch him.”

Blair snickers. “That sounds like a solid plan. Let’s go.”

As they head out, Rory chances a glance over at Nate. He’s watching them leave with a frown on his face. Before he gets any ideas on coming over, she looks away, trying her best to seem closed off. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as if he follows them, so she relaxes as they walk over to the diner.

“This feels weird,” Rory comments as they grab a booth in the back corner. “But I’m glad to be away from him.”

“Do you think he would have tried to talk to you?” Blair asks, concerned.

Rory shrugs. “I mean, maybe, but I don’t see why he would bother at this point. I haven’t seen him in almost a year now.”

“Maybe he’s just now realizing what he lost,” Ashton suggests hopefully.

“Well, it’s staying lost,” Rory snorts. “I really can’t be bothered to fix things with him. He’s had time to say something, but he hasn’t.”

“You really wouldn’t give him a second chance?” Shea asks, raising an eyebrow.

Rory pauses for a moment. “I want to say no, and I think I would in terms of a romantic relationship. But… he was a good friend and it was sad losing him in that sense, you know? And I would want him to work on himself too. Like, I can’t have him dropping off the face of the planet again.”

“I get that,” Blair says softly, smiling sadly. “Maybe one day.”

“Maybe,” Rory sighs. “But also, I think we were headed for heartbreak, there was no other option. I mean… we’re two very different people.”

“But you worked well together,” Shea said. “And that’s the saddest part about all of this.”

Rory shrugs. “It’s over now. There’s no point in caring anymore.”

They end up changing subjects, sensing that Rory is truly done thinking about Nate. Seeing him outside of a hockey game was a weird experience and everyone felt a little bit off balance from it. By the end of the night, Rory feels better, and tries to push any thought of him aside. Whatever reason he came to the bar tonight, she hoped he got the message - that Rory no longer needed him in her life.

The following morning when Rory checks her phone, she feels herself freeze. Looking right back at her is a text from Nate. She hesitates before opening, knowing that whatever it says can’t be good. There’s a moment where she thinks about deleting the message and blocking him, but her curiosity gets the best of her.

I was hoping to talk to you last night, but it looks like you were busy. Maybe we could meet up some other time to clear things up?

Rory can’t help but to laugh. After a year, Nate finally wants to talk? The audacity he has thinking that Rory will just talk to him willingly after everything is too much for her to handle. He’s had plenty of opportunities to fix things, but going about it this way just makes everything even worse.

No, I think I’m good. You made it very clear where I stand in your life.

Rory tosses her phone to the side before seeing if Nate replies at all. Whatever he has to say to her won’t change her mind, not now. Before she can think anymore, she grabs her phone again to call Piper. It’s been a long time since they’ve talked, but Rory trusts her the most right now, knowing that her friend will be the solid voice of reason right now.

“Something tells me something is up if you’re calling me this early on a Saturday,” Piper jokes. “Normally you’re hungover at this point.”

“You’re the worst,” Rory groans. “But you’re right.”

“I’m always here for you. Now, tell me all about it,” Piper replies. 

“Well, uh, Nate finally texted me after a whole fucking year asking if we could talk,” Rory says bitterly. “And this dude had the audacity to stop by the bar last night. We ended up leaving because of him.”

“I can fly down and punch him if you want me to,” Piper suggests.

Rory snorts. “I think that Shea is first in line for that.”

“We can take turns then,” Piper says, smirking. “But seriously, how are you dealing with that? Have you blocked him?”

“I - no, not yet,” Rory answers. “I told him it was too late to fix anything.”

“So… just ignore him after this. Unless you want to talk to him.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that. There’s so much I want to say to him, but I never thought that it would be like… an actual option.”

“Then just think about it. And he can wait for as long as you need him to. It’s what he deserves after dropping you like he did.”

“I feel like that’s letting him win, though,” Rory whispers.

“There’s no winning in situations like this, especially if you let him feel all of your anger and frustrations. What he did was shitty and wrong, and he deserves to know all of that before he does it to someone else,” Piper explains. “And I know how worthless it made you feel.”

“I didn’t -” Rory tries to say.

“Don’t you dare say that you didn’t feel that way. You called me crying multiple times that summer. He hurt you and he deserves to know that,” Piper says firmly. “That is, if you even want to talk to him.”

“I don’t know,” Rory says softly. “I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of talking again, but I also want to let him know how shitty he made me feel.”

“Maybe that’s all that needs to happen. One conversation doesn’t mean you’re letting him back into your life. It can maybe help put an end to this part of your life.”

“You’re right, you’re right.”

Piper sighs. “I’m sorry you had to see him again, though. I can’t imagine what that all felt like.”

“I’m just lucky I was with friends,” Rory replies. “But thank you, Piper, this helped a lot.”

“Keep me updated, okay? I want to know if I need to knock some teeth out,” Piper jokes.

Rory snorts. “Of course.”

Once they’ve hung up, Rory quickly checks her phone to see if Nate has replied. He still hasn’t, so she decides to continue on with her morning, trying to not think of him. As right as Piper is about having a conversation to try and put an end to anything having to do with Nate, the thought scares her. She knows that there’s a very real possibility that she lets him into her life again, knowing that she misses his friendship.

But she doesn’t want to let herself give in so easily. Nate hurt Rory in ways that she feels like she’s still recovering from. It’s terrifying that he was able to hurt her like this, and the more she thinks about it over breakfast, the more comfortable she gets with telling him all of this, as long as it’s on her terms.

She ignores her phone for the rest of the day and decides to focus on cleaning her apartment instead. It’s been a while since it’s been properly cleaned and she knows it’ll help keep her mind off of Nate. So, she puts on some of her favorite music and proceeds to get lost in her chores. Before she knows it, her stomach is loudly grumbling, and Rory notices that it’s now mid-afternoon.

As she grabs some stuff for a late lunch, she decides to chance looking at her phone. Her heart drops a little seeing several texts from Nate, but Rory opens it before she can think twice about it. She has to read it a couple times before it fully processes what he said.

I’m sorry I broke what trust you had in me as a friend and I want to fix that

In whatever way you see fit

I guess even if it means you never talk to me again. I just...I want to make everything better

Please

Rory pauses for a moment, and tries to think of a response. She wants to talk to him, to let him feel the full impact of how much he ruined her - but she doesn’t want to give him hope. No matter how apologetic he is, Rory doesn’t want to give him too much hope.

I want to talk, but on my terms. You deserve to know what you did to me

I hated you for a long time, Nate

Still kind of do, if I’m being honest

Just… give me some time, okay? I gave up on the idea of you a long time ago

Sighing, Rory puts her phone off to the side, and decides to try and eat her lunch in peace, but she keeps thinking about Nate. Whatever happens next, Rory wants to be ready and confident in what she wants to happen next. At the very core of it all, she’s scared of letting Nate back in and history repeating itself.

If Nate wants to be in her life, she’s going to need to see that she matters to him. But as much as she wants that, Rory knows that it’s really asking for too much. It terrifies her that the thought keeps managing to weasel it’s way into her head, no matter how much she tries to ignore it. Blair might say that it’s a sign, but Rory really hopes that it isn’t.

Her phone buzzes, and she takes a deep breath before opening her phone. So far, Nate has been understanding, but that hardly means anything at the moment.

I understand completely

And I’m truly sorry I ever did that to you

Whatever it takes for me to show you that, I’ll do

You deserve that at the very least, Rory

Thank you, Nate. I’m sorry to make you wait a little longer

I’ll try to not take too long, but this is a lot

I would wait for you forever

Ah, getting poetic now

Maybe you have changed

I’ll take a while, but maybe not that long :)

:)

Rory sighs, but she feels good about not caving to what he wants. As much as she wants to fix everything, she also knows that she’ll regret it. Before she forgets, Rory also sends a text to Piper telling her what happened, knowing that her friend will want to keep tabs on the situation. 

Groaning, Rory also remembers that she’s going to have to tell her coworkers what happened as well. Even though they’ve talked plenty of shit, she knows that they’ll be supportive of her reconciling with Nate as long as it’s on her terms. However, she also knows that they’ll gladly make sure to keep him in his place.

When Monday rolls around, Rory can immediately tell that her friends know something is up. Thankfully, they don’t say anything, knowing that she won’t be comfortable talking about it at work. But they keep a close eye on her, like she’ll fall apart at a moment's notice. And maybe they’re right, she’s not really sure what’s held her together this whole weekend.

“So, care to spill whatever’s going on with you?” Ashton inquires, walking with Rory to her car.

Rory notes that Blair and Shea aren’t too far behind, and she sighs, accepting her fate of being cornered by all of them. They all eye her as she leans up against her car and lets out a huge sigh.

“Nate reached out to me to apologize for last year. He wanted to talk in person to let everything out, but I told him no for now,” Rory explains. “I want to talk to him, but on my terms.”

Blair frowns. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m not really sure, but I think I want to let everything out in the open, you know? Like, I want him to know how much it hurt,” Rory answers, shrugging. 

“Would you be meeting at his place?” Shea inquires, looking concerned. “Not that I think he would do anything, but like… that’s a lot of pressure.”

Rory pauses for a moment. “I think if we were to meet up, I’d want to do it at my place. I wouldn’t feel comfortable in his apartment. He can come to me.”

“Sounds like you already have a plan,” Ashton remarks, smirking a little. 

“It’s going to happen eventually, I think. I just want to be ready,” Rory says. “It feels weird hearing from him again, though. I was ready to let go, but seeing him last Friday was harder than I expected.”

“If this is what you want, we’ll support you in it, okay? I know we shit talk him a lot, but...he was a good guy while he was around,” Shea says seriously. 

“Thank you,” Rory says softly. “Now, enough digging around in my personal life, okay?”

“But what else is supposed to keep us entertained?” Ashton snorts. “You’re the one who was besties with an NHL superstar.”

Rory rolls her eyes. “You guys are the worst.”

“But that’s why you love us,” Blair replies, smiling widely. 

A couple more weeks go by before Rory thinks about messaging Nate back. There’s a couple nights where she almost caves and sends something to him - but she knows she’s not fully ready yet. It’s a late Friday night after a diner run with her friends that Rory feels like she’s ready to speak to Nate again.

There wasn’t a monumental shift that made Rory change her mind, but rather the fact that her heart stopped falling apart any time she thought of Nate. She thinks she’s ready to have a conversation with him because in the end, she’s not sure if she wants it to be anything more than that. 

Against Rory’s better judgement, she sends a text to Nate, fully knowing that he won’t reply until the morning. And that feels safer in a way. He won’t be able to ask questions that she isn’t ready to answer quite yet, at least not over the phone.

I want to talk soon

At my apartment, though

I’d feel better being in a space I feel comfortable if we’re going to be talking

And honestly the sooner the better, if you don’t mind

I want to get this over with

With that, Rory plugs in her phone and tries to fall asleep. Instead, she keeps herself up, thinking of all the things she wants to tell Nate. She wants to let him know how much he hurt her when he left without a word, but still leaving his trace in her every thought. By the time she falls asleep, the sun is just peeking over the mountains, signaling a fresh start.

When Rory wakes up, she pauses, unsure if she wants to check her phone. But she knows that waiting won’t help anything, and it’s best to just check. As she suspected, there were a few texts from Nate. Taking a deep breath, she opens them and skims over the messages.

Whatever makes you feel the best

And I can come over tomorrow night if that isn’t too soon

But I’ll wait for as long as you need me to

Rory pauses for a moment, unsure if it would be too soon. But she did say she was ready, and like ripping off a band-aid, Rory decides it’s best to just get it over with.

Yeah, I can do that. Before or after dinner?

Or during?

Whatever works for me

…..during dinner if you don’t mind

I miss your cooking

Was that too much?

I’m sorry

You better not just be reconciling bc of my food

But yeah, that works

I’m making curry though

Don’t make it too spicy

I’ll try my best lmao

But I guarantee nothing :’)

Rip to my taste buds then lol

But I’ll see you then

Rory takes a deep breath and tries to process the conversation. It felt weird to have Nate joke with her like nothing ever happened. In different circumstances, she would have laughed and teased right back, but it was too much too fast. Nate was picking up where things left off last year, but Rory isn’t ready for that. She’s not even sure she wants to be ready for that again. 

Only a moment later, it finally hits her that Nate is coming over to her apartment the following night. She screams into her pillow, and then sends off a text Piper and her other friends. No matter how tomorrow ends up going, Rory knows that she’ll be an absolute mess afterwards. The thought of seeing Nate in her space is terrifying, but it’s a fear she’s willing to face if it means that they’ll be able to resolve everything.

Before she knows it, Rory is pacing her apartment waiting for Nate to come over. Dinner is already made, due to the fact that she was trying to keep herself busy while waiting for him. As much as Rory wanted to prepare a speech for Nate, to make sure she said everything she wanted to, she also knew that she wouldn’t remember any of it the second she saw his face.

When she hears a loud knock on her door, Rory freezes for a moment. This is her last moment to back out, but she steels herself and goes to open the door. The second she opens the door, there’s a moment of silence, Nate and herself unsure of what to do. Seeing him here makes Rory feel overwhelmed.

“I - hi,” Rory greets weakly. “Um, come on in.”

“Uh, thanks,” Nate replies awkwardly, stepping into her apartment. “It smells good in here.”

Rory smiles a little. “Dinner is already finished. I, uh, got kind of nervous.”

“I can leave if you need more time,” Nate says, concerned.

“No, it’s fine. You just… make me feel a lot of things, I guess,” Rory explains. “Waiting even longer wouldn’t have helped anything.”

“If you say so,” he says, obviously not believing her.

“Well, I guess we can eat first and talk over food,” she replies. “Everything is in the same spot. Still haven’t moved anything yet.”

Nate snorts. “I’m not surprised. And I’m guessing nothing is on the top shelves still?”

“You’re literally the fucking worst, McKinnon,” Rory teases. “I can’t believe I invite you over for dinner and this is what you say to me.”

“Oh I - I’m sorry,” Nate replies, flustered. 

Rory rolls her eyes. “I’m kidding, it’s fine.”

Nate blushes and goes to get plates. They serve up their food in silence and go to sit on the couch. Neither really know what to say, so there’s a few beats of awkward silence. Rory can tell that he’s waiting for her to say something, not wanting to push her too far.

“For the longest time, I wasn’t sure what to make of you just… ignoring me,” Rory whispers. “I knew that playoffs were going to be a hard time. I mean, you already were terrible at replying to things during the season, so I knew the playoffs were going to be worse.

“But then you just… kept ignoring me, even during the summer. And it was hard to not think it was maybe my fault in some way that you kept ignoring me. Like I wasn’t useful or fucking interesting enough to keep around. That’s what hurt the most, you know?”

Nate looks absolutely broken at the confession. He sets down his plate, and Rory follows suit, knowing that neither of them are going to eat until after this is over.

“I never meant to make you feel that way,” Nate says, voice breaking. “I was so scared of fucking up what we had that I thought it was better to stop talking to you. I figured that I had messed up things enough that you wouldn’t care if we stopped talking to me. Gabe tried to tell me otherwise, but I wouldn’t hear it.”

Rory laughs bitterly, trying to hold back her tears. “I cared so much about you Nate, and seeing you just go about your life made me feel so shitty. And it’s been a year now, and I’ve done so much to get over it, but now here you are… somehow, it feels just like it did last summer.”

“You were the one person I had outside of hockey, and I know that if I was just me and not ‘Nate the hockey player’, you would have liked me just as much. That made me so terrified to mess things up that I thought it was better to lose you sooner rather than later,” Nate confesses.

Rory smiles sadly. “In the end, you felt like ‘Nate the hockey player’, and I think that’s what hurt the most.”

“I - fuck, I never meant for it to turn out like this,” Nate says, choking back his tears.

“Neither did I,” she replies. “Seeing you that night in the bar, it scared me. I thought that I was finally over you, but that night showed me that you could still hurt me.”

“Is there anything I can do to fix this? I wanted to talk and I wasn’t sure if you would ever speak to me again.”

Rory pauses for a moment to think. “I don’t really know, if I’m being honest. I want to forgive you, but I’m scared of this happening all over again. My heart isn’t ready to be broken again.”

“Whatever it takes,” Nate whispers.

“Give me some time, okay? Tonight feels like a lot and I don’t know what to do now that you’re here. But I want to make sure that you actually talk to me, Nate. You can’t ignore me again.”

“I promise I’ll try my best. I just… get so focused on one thing, but I won’t push you away again, I swear,” Nate says.

“Okay,” Rory replies, voice breaking, with tears starting to fall down her face.

“Can I hug you?” Nate asks.

She nods, and he pulls her in, holding her tightly. Rory isn’t sure how long they sit there with her cradled in Nate’s arms, but it feels better than she wants to admit. Having him here like this is overwhelming, and she mourns the fact that things are going to be so very different now, no matter what happens.

“Thank you,” Rory says after a few minutes, voice rough from crying.

“Of course,” Nate whispers, slowly pulling back.

When Rory looks up at him, his cheeks are tear-stained as well, and something about that settles something within her. Something about it helps her feel like he missed her just as much, even if it wasn’t in the same way. 

“Our food is probably cold now,” Rory jokes, trying to lighten the mood up a little bit.

“Is that you hinting that you want me to go heat it up again?” Nate asks, smiling.

She laughs a little. “Of course it is.”

“Glad some things never change,” Nate snorts, rolling his eyes. “I’ll get right on it.”

The rest of the evening passes with lighter conversation topics. Rory talks about her promotion at work, and Nate talks about all the new rookies she has to meet soon. It almost feels normal, and it terrifies Rory. Seeing how well he fits back into her life is a lot, and she’s not quite sure how to handle it. She doesn’t want things to move too fast, not before she’s ready, but having these quiet moments back is making it difficult. 

“Thank you for having me over,” Nate says softly as he places the dishes in the dishwasher. “I’m glad we could talk again.”

“Me too,” Rory whispers. “Just… I want things back to normal, but I don’t want to be left behind again.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t,” Nate replies, confident. “Playoffs are happening again soon, and I’ll do better this time. I can’t lose you again.”

Rory smiles sadly. “You could always find someone else, though.”

“You aren’t replaceable, you know,” Nate comments. “You keep saying things like that, and I know you think I could, but I can’t.”

“You’re really making this hard, you know.”

“I just want to show you that you’re worth everything.”

“Still loving flattering people, I see,” Rory teases. 

Nate rolls his eyes. “And you still love to not accept my compliments. I’ll show you one of these days.”

“I’m sure you will,” Rory says, smiling. “You sure you don’t want leftovers?”

“I told you it was too spicy!” Nate exclaims.

“You think everything is spicy, though,” Rory snorts. “But I guess that just means more for me.”

“I guess so,” Nate says softly, smiling. “Well, I’ll talk to you soon?”

“We better talk soon,” Rory replies pointedly. “No falling off the map again.”

“Not this time,” Nate promises. 

Once he’s gone, Rory flops down on her bed and screams into her pillow. The whole evening didn’t feel quite real if she’s being honest. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, Rory feels herself getting to a place where she can forgive Nate. Tonight reminded her how easy they work together and everything felt… normal. It’s a terrifying thought, especially because if he doesn’t fall off the map again, Rory can envision herself falling in love again.

When Rory walks into work the next morning, she can feel her friends’ eyes on her. She knows that they’re going to interrogate her after work, so she doesn’t mention anything the whole day. Thankfully, they don’t mention anything either, but they definitely keep an eye on her.

“So, emergency meeting at the diner tonight?” Ashton inquires innocently during lunch. “Seems like there’s something going on.”

Rory huffs. “Yeah, an emergency meeting sounds good. There’s a lot I need to catch you up on.”

“Sounds fun,” Ashton replies, smirking. “I’ll tell everyone else about our plans.”

“Thanks, Ash,” Rory snorts. 

When everyone finishes up for the day, they all make their way to their new spot. Thankfully, nobody mentions what the meeting was for, but Rory has a feeling that they already know what happened. Once they’re all seated in a booth towards the back of the diner, everyone turns to look at her.

“I feel like I’m being interrogated for a crime,” Rory jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

“Did you commit a crime?” Shea asks innocently.

“Not that I know of,” Rory says weakly. “But I did meet up with Nate last night. He came over last night for dinner.”

Everyone gives her a questioning look, so she launches into her recap of the night. They all listen patiently as Rory stumbles through it all. Even though they let her talk, she can tell that they’re all concerned.

“So, uh, yeah, that was it,” Rory says, finishing explaining. 

“Are you sure that you’re okay with this?” Blair asks, genuinely worried. 

“I think I'm as ready as I’ll ever be. Seeing him last night made me realize how much I missed him in my life,” Rory answers. 

Blair frowns. “But if he doesn’t do better, are you ready to let him go again?”

“I’m going to have to be, aren’t I? I don’t think I really have a choice in the matter,” Rory replies. “But I think I want to give him the second chance.”

“So… I can’t kick his ass on sight now?” Shea jokes. 

“I don’t think so,” Ashton sighs. “What a shame.”

Rory rolls her eyes. “You’re all the worst.”

“We love you too,” Blair replies, smiling. “I’m glad that you were able to talk to him, though. Even if this all doesn’t work out, you got to talk it out.”

“Yeah, it was nice,” Rory whispers. “Hopefully things turn out a bit happier this time.”

"You have a place in my heart no one else ever could have."  —  F. Scott Fitzgerald

As playoffs and summer rolled around, Rory was pleasantly surprised at how much Nate texted and called her. Even though this is what she was hoping for all those months ago, it felt odd to hear from him so much. Seeing tangible evidence of Nate trying his best to be better felt like too much to take in sometimes, even if it was something small, like making sure that Rory was taking care of herself during the busy workdays.

The only downfall to this is that Rory can feel herself falling back in love with Nate. She tries to push back on it, and tries to ignore the fluttering feeling every time she sees his name pop up on her phone, but it’s hard. Knowing that Nate was making an effort for her caused a tidal wave of feelings, ones that she’s certain aren’t reciprocated.

“I think you’re fooling yourself, you know,” Blair states one Friday night. “Like… he’s putting in so much effort to reconnect that he has to feel something.”

Rory frowns. “I don’t want to get my hopes, I’ve only just gotten him back. And it’s reading too much into it, right?”

“I’m inclined to back up Blair on this one,” Ashton says. “The dude probably has a million friends, but the fact that he missed you so fucking much, even after a year…”

“But he also ignored me for months,” Rory points out. “We all agreed that was fucking terrible, and I doubt he would do that if he was into me.”

Shea shrugs. “That’s definitely a possibility, but… just think about it, okay? I know it’s too soon, but it could be worth a shot eventually.”

“I’m not going to be the one to fuck things up,” Rory says. “I’m just happy we managed to work things out.”

“If you say so,” Ashton replies. “But do you think things are going to be worse once he comes back to Denver?”

“I’m really trying to not think about that,” Rory mumbles. “I’m sure it’ll all be fine. I was doing fine before.”

“Well, we’re all here if you need it,” Blair says, hesitant.

Thankfully, her friends let the subject drop, but Rory knows that she hasn’t heard the last of it quite yet. As much as she wants to be completely open with Nate, she’s terrified of making things awkward between them. It’s only been in the last couple of months that they’ve gotten back to their easy camaraderie they had before.

When September rolls around, Shea insists that Rory invites Nate out to a Friday night bar run. After Nate happily accepts for the following week, Rory starts to feel nervous. She knows that her friends are probably going to give him a subtle shovel talk, and she’s honestly not quite sure how she feels about it. As appreciative she is about her friends looking out for her, Rory also doesn’t know how Nate is going to feel about it.

“You can’t be too mean to him,” Rory states as they all walk to the bar. “I can’t have you scaring him off, okay?”

“We’ll be on our best behavior,” Ashton says cheerily, smirking a little.

“Good lord,” Rory mutters. “At least wait until he’s had a drink or two.”

Shea shrugs. “I think we can manage that.”

By the time they get to the bar, Nate is already there, having grabbed their usual table. Rory warms at the thought of him remembering something like that. Once they all grab their seats, there’s a few beats of silence, nobody quite sure what to say first.

“It’s been a while, good to have you back,” Shea greets, eyeing Nate up. “Good job on winning the cup last year. Rough you couldn’t do it again.”

Nate laughs nervously. “Thanks, we tried our best. Just happy to get to the playoffs again, though.”

Ashton snorts. “We’re not the media, dude. You can be pissed off if you want to be.”

“I - I mean, it’s true,” Nate says weakly. “It was hard getting so close and not winning it again. But, uh, what do you want to drink? I figure the first round can be on me.”

The group looks at each other in pleasant surprise, but lists off their drink orders. When Nate goes up to the bar, they all watch him like a hawk. As Nate’s waiting for their drinks, a girl walks over to Nate, obviously flirting with him. He looks caught  off-guard for a moment, but then smiles brightly, appearing to flirt back. Rory’s friends look to her in concern, and she does her best to shrug it off. It’s not like her and Nate are dating - they’re truly just friends, even if her feelings say otherwise.

“Rory....” Blair whispers.

“I told you, we’re just friends,” Rory whispers harshly. “It’s not that big of a deal, he can do whatever he wants.”

Blair frowns, but doesn’t say anything as she notices Nate walking back with their drinks. Despite what Rory is feeling, she knows that she has no right to be jealous over Nate. They’ve both made it very clear that they’re just friends, and Rory isn’t inclined to mess things up now, not when they’ve just got each other back.

“Sorry it took so long, I just got distracted talking to someone,” Nate says, blushing faintly.

Shea raises an eyebrow. “Did you get a number?”

“Oh, uh, no, I’m here to hang out with you guys tonight,” Nate answers, flustered. “And, uh, I’m not super interested in hooking up right now. I have other things to worry about.”

“Riiiight,” Ashton replies. “So, what have you been up to since you left us last?”

“Not much really, just a lot of practice and games. I also moved into a proper house again since my apartment was feeling a little small,” Nate explains.

“Wait, really? You were just starting to make your apartment look good,” Rory teases. “Am I going to have to give you decorating advice again?”

“I - no, I have everything covered,” Nate defends. “Besides, it was never that bad!”

“Uh huh, whatever you want to say,” Rory says, laughing.

“I mean, I did hear plenty of horror stories from Rory. We’re here to support you,” Ashton says, smirking.

Nate pouts. “I can’t believe I paid for all your drinks and you all gang up on me like this.”

“Don’t worry, it just means we like you well enough,” Shea replies, smiling brightly. “But honestly, you’ve just been up to hockey? That sounds kind of…boring.”

“It’s what I do every summer,” Nate mumbles, obviously embarrassed. 

“He has to keep up his reputation, don’t worry,” Rory jokes.

“At least you have my back,” Nate sighs. 

The rest of the night passes in a similar lighthearted manner. By the time everyone is getting ready to head out, Rory feels pleasantly warm and slightly more drunk than she normally gets. It’s just been nice to be back with Nate in the way she always remembered too fondly. She wants to tell him that, so she looks around, trying to find him.

But her heart drops when she sees the girl from earlier heading over to Nate. Rory glances away and continues following her friends out of the bar. They all look behind her expectantly, thinking that Nate is still following her.

“He’s, uh, talking to someone. I think we’re good to head out,” Rory says, trying to smile.

“Rory…” Blair says softly. 

“No, no, it’s good. I don’t get to be jealous or mad over this. I’m just a little bit drunk,” Rory whispers. 

“Okay, I’m driving you home. Your car will be fine in the staff parking lot over the weekend,” Blair sighs.

“Thank you,” Rory whispers.

The car ride to her apartment is silent, neither wanting to broach the subject. Thankfully, Blair helps Rory to her bed, but before Blair can leave, Rory holds her close and starts sobbing. Rory really isn’t sure how long they sit there with Rory crying into her friend's shoulder, but by the time she pulls back, Blair’s shoulder is wet from the tears.

“Are you really going to be okay?” Blair asks quietly.

“No,” Rory answers, voice rough. “This wasn’t the plan.”

“You never really stopped loving him,” Blair states.

Rory laughs bitterly. “I don’t think I did. And I hate him for that.”

“I still have a couple of friends that might be interested, you know,” Blair comments, joking.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Rory snorts. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re one of my best friends, of course I’m here to help,” Blair says. “Maybe call Piper in the morning, okay? She always seems to knock the most sense into you.”

“That… is too true,” Rory sighs. “I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Yeah, see you on Monday,” Blair says before heading out.

Once Rory hears the door shut, she sighs deeply. It scares her that just seeing Nate flirt with someone had this effect on her. She knows that she shouldn’t be hurt if she isn’t willing to confess her feelings because of course Nate is going to find someone else. He’s a professional athlete, it’s not like he doesn’t have options.

And Rory has to accept that she’ll never be an option - even as much as she wants to be. Nate put so much effort into reconnecting because he wants to be friends again, not because he ever loved her in any non-platonic sense of the word. It hurts, but Rory will learn to get over herself as long as it means keeping Nate in her life. She lost him once, she refuses to have it happen again.

When she wakes up the next morning, she feels a bit gross, and as she remembers the previous night, Rory doesn’t feel much better. But she also knows that she should call Piper, knowing that her friend will want to know what’s going on.

“Hey sweetie, what’s up?” Piper asks in lieu of a proper greeting. 

“Um, so you know how Nate and I have been becoming friends again? I think I might have fucked things up and fallen in love with him,” Rory confesses. 

“Does he not love you back? I’ll come and kick his ass,” Piper says. 

“I don’t think he does,” Rory whispers. 

“Wait, why do you make it sound like you don’t know for sure?”

“He was flirting with someone last night and we agreed to be just friends.”

“Are you sure that he could have just said that to make sure you were in his life no matter what? He could be just as scared as you are about saying something.”

“Why would he be scared of me?” Rory inquires, confused. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that you’re not something replaceable? You are worth so much, and I think Nate knows that,” Piper says firmly. “You should tell him, Rory.”

“I only just got him back, though,” Rory whispers.

“Just… think about it, okay? I really think it could be something good if you gave it a chance.”

“I’m not ready yet,” Rory says softly. “Losing him again would feel… god, it would hurt even more than before. It would tear my heart out, Piper.”

Piper takes a deep breath. “I think Nate loving you has been so subtle that it’s hard to see at first. But I think it’s there, for all that it matters.”

“I hate this so much,” Rory sobs, not able to hold back the tears. “I can’t love him anymore, Piper. I can’t handle this.”

“You can, babe, I know you can handle this,” Piper says soothingly. “If he really doesn’t love you back, then there will be someone else to love you just as much as you love everyone else.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course I do. You deserve it.”

“I hate that, even now, he has me crying over him,” Rory whispers. 

“I’m sorry I can’t be there for you, but I know you’ll figure it all out soon enough. Now, is there anything else fun you can update me on?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Rory says, grateful for the distraction.

By the time Rory hangs up, she’s feeling a bit better. Even though Piper seems to think that Nate has feelings for her, Rory refuses to mess things up again. She’s willing to keep her friendship with Nate, even at the cost of seeing him love other people in the way she wants for herself. As much as she doesn’t want to, Rory thinks it might be time to ask Blair about her friends.

Despite coming to that resolution, it still takes Rory several days to build up the confidence to ask Blair about it. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, something about it feels like she’s giving up on Nate. But she’s cried over him enough now, and she accepts that it’s time to move on forward from her feelings.

“Wait, so you’re… actually interested?” Blair inquires, obviously unsure. “Or are you doing this just to get over Nate?”

“A little bit of both, if I’m being honest,” Rory answers. “But I have to put myself out there eventually. I can’t keep putting it off.”

Blair frowns a little. “Well, if you’re totally sure, then I can set something up. Do you remember Jacob from the holiday party last year?”

“Yeah, he seemed fun,” Rory says, already knowing where this is going.

“He was definitely interested in you, but I knew you were still going through it with Nate, even if you didn’t want to admit it. But if you’re up for it now…”

“I’m definitely up for it now.”

And this is how Rory finds herself going on a coffee date with Jacob the following Saturday. It’s definitely awkward at first, but once they find their stride, Rory finds herself enjoying her time. They spend hours talking about anything and everything. By the time the date is over, Rory feels tentatively hopeful about the whole thing.

Once Rory gets back to her apartment, she notices a text from Nate asking if she wants to get dinner with him. She hesitates - she doesn’t want to ruin the happiness she felt earlier today with all of the confusing feelings Nate brings with him. But that’s also not his fault, so Rory says he can come over if he brings takeout. 

Nate sends a smiley face and that he’ll grab food from her favorite diner on the way. While Rory waits, she tries to calm herself down. Her date with Jacob was good, and he was genuinely interested in her, not something she could say for Nate. Before she knows it, she hears Nate knocking on the door.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Rory greets as she lets him in.

“You replied late today. Rough night at the bar last night?” Nate teases, setting the food down in the kitchen. 

Rory blushes. “Oh, uh, I actually went on a date today, so that’s why I didn’t reply.”

“That’s, uh, that’s great,” Nate says, smiling a little. “Was it a good one?”

“Yeah, we had a great time. I mean, it was pretty chill, but it was nice to get to know Jacob a bit more,” Rory explains. “We actually met last year at the company holiday party.”

“Oh, I’m glad it went well,” Nate says awkwardly.

“Are you okay?” Rory inquires, confused. 

“Yeah, of course, just a bit tired from practice, I guess.”

“If you say so. Now, did you get the usual?”

Nate snorts. “I’m a creature of habit, what else do you expect?”

Things lighten up a bit after that, the awkwardness slowly disappearing the longer Nate hangs out. Rory’s really not too sure what to think of it, but she takes it worth a grain of salt. If he says practice has been exhausting, then she’ll just take his word for it. 

The weeks pass and Rory goes on more dates with Jacob, even to the point of bringing him to this year’s holiday party as her date. Nate hardly asks about him anymore, but Rory takes that as him not really being into her romantic life. She can get that, especially since she hardly ever asks about his dating life as well, even if it was because she was scared to hear the answer.

All of the careful walls Rory has built recently all fall apart on a Saturday afternoon. Jacob is over for lunch, and he seems to have a serious look on his face. Rory doesn’t think much of it at first, thinking it must be something work related that he’s still hung up on.

“Are you feeling okay?” Rory inquires softly. “Looks like you’re doing a lot of thinking over there.”

Jacob smiles softly. “I - well, I really hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but are you in love with Nate?”

“Am I… what?” Rory replies, freezing. “Where did you get that idea?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him the couple of times we’ve gone to games, and just the way you talk about him…” Jacob explains. “It’s okay if you love him, but I really don’t think we should be dating if that’s the case.”

Rory pauses for a moment, thinking over her answer. “I lost my chance with him a long time ago, and… I’m still trying to get over it, I guess.”

“You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if he loves you back,” Jacob says, smiling sadly.

“That would be a nice thought,” Rory replies, trying to laugh. “But I promise I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t want to.”

Jacob sighs deeply. “You’re an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to have you. And if Nate doesn’t realize what he has, he’s a fucking idiot. But I think you need to figure out your feelings first.”

“Are you… breaking up with me?” Rory asks, voice cracking.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Jacob says softly. “I just think you need to say something to Nate because something tells me he won’t say no.”

Rory laughs bitterly. “You wouldn’t be the first person to tell me that.”

“Then maybe they’re right,” Jacob points out. “Look, this is just as hard as it is for me, but I’ve seen how you look at him. This is the healthiest thing for both of us to do, okay?”

“Shit, you’re right, I know you are,” Rory groans. “It just fucking sucks.”

Jacob smiles sadly. “Things will get better soon, I promise. I’ll, uh, see you around.”

“Yeah, of course,” Rory says softly as Jacob heads out.

As sad as she is over what happened, Rory knows that Jacob is right. Despite how much she enjoyed being around him and doing things with him, there’s still a small part of her that’s hung up on Nate. And in the end, that isn’t fair to either of them in the long run. 

It also makes her think about how honest she wants to be with Nate. He’s going to want to know what happened between her and Jacob, but she’s not sure if she should tell him exactly why. The thought of telling him everything is terrifying, but if there’s any chance that he could feel the same way, even after everything that’s happened…she’s not quite sure what to make of it all.

When Monday rolls around, she asks her friends for an emergency meeting at the diner after work. They all look a bit worried, but agree to not ask any questions until then. If anyone could talk sense into Rory, it would be them.

“So… what’s going on?” Ashton inquires once everyone is piled into a booth.

“Jacob broke up with me because I’m still in love with Nate,” Rory confesses in a rush. “And… I don’t know what to do.”

“I - well, that’s a lot to unpack,” Shea replies. “I thought you were over Nate.”

Rory snorts. “So did I, but I think I was ignoring my feelings because I had Jacob. And, uh, that’s obviously not very healthy at all.”

“Are you going to tell Nate about them?” Blair asks innocently. “Because I think he deserves to know. And if things don’t work out, maybe you can finally move on.”

“I - honestly, I really don’t know,” Rory whispers. “I know it’s probably the right thing to do, but it scares me. The thought of him rejecting me hurts more than I want to admit.”

“I know I’m a huge advocate of saying things when you’re ready, but it might be time to do something about it,” Blair says. 

“Yeah, we all love you, Rory, and it hurts seeing all of this happen,” Ashton replies. “Just consider it, okay? And if things go to shit, we’ll be ready with junk food and shitty wine.”

Rory smiles sadly. “Thanks, guys, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Things lighten up a bit after that, but Rory feels a bit better. Asking Nate to put in effort to try and make their friendship better only makes sense if she’s doing the same. Sure, this has the potential to ruin everything, but it’s not any better to keep her feelings trapped up either, especially if her heart is out on her sleeve. 

Despite coming to this conclusion, Rory avoids Nate for as long as she can. She’s still afraid of rejection, of being officially told that he doesn’t feel the same way. Blair does her best to encourage Rory, and it’s not like Nate’s going to accept being ignored, not this time. Eventually, it comes down to Nate coming to Rory’s place unannounced for them to meet up.

“Oh, uh, hi,” Rory greets as she opens the door for Nate.

“I was getting worried about you,” he replies, frowning. “But everyone said that you were just really busy.”

“Uh, yeah, it’s been a bit hectic. I’ve been starting to open the internship applications for the summer, so there’s a lot of stuff to focus on,” Rory explains with uncertainty as she leads them to the couch.

“I’m not intruding, am I?” Nate inquires, frowning.

“No, of course not,” Rory answers, taking a seat next to him. “Um, I guess I’ve also been a bit out of it because Jacob broke up with me.”

“Oh,” Nate says, shocked. “I - shit, are you okay?”

Rory feels her heart pounding in her chest as she decides to confess and lay everything out in the open. There’s going to be no going back after this, but she has to be brave for just this one moment.

“I think I will be,” Rory says quietly. “He actually broke up with me because he thinks I’m still in love with you.”

Nate freezes for a brief moment, looking like a deer in headlights. “And… are you still in love with me?”

“Yeah, I am,” Rory whispers. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time, but could never fully admit it to myself.”

“What a coincidence,” Nate says, laughing a little. “Because I’m in love with you too. I’ve been trying to get over you for so long, but it always comes back to you. Losing you the first time was terrifying.”

Rory gives him a confused look. “Why did you never say anything? I would have said yes.”

“You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me and the thought of fucking it up… I couldn’t handle it, so I focused fully on playoffs. Gabe tried to get me to say something, but I thought never seeing you again was better than hearing no,” Nate explains.

“I can’t believe we’ve both been so dumb,” Rory says breathlessly.

“Can I kiss you?” Nate asks softly.

“Of course you can, you idiot,” Rory answers, just as soft.

When he leans in to kiss her, she feels a brief moment of disbelief that it is actually happening. But it’s so much softer than she was expecting as she leans into it, holding onto his shoulders to try and ground herself. As Nate pulls away, Rory feels the immense loss, even though he’s right in front of her.

“I waited so long to do that,” Nate says. 

“Same here,” Rory replies, giggling. 

“Um, would it be rushing if I asked you to be my girlfriend already?” Nate asks, nervous.

Rory shrugs. “Maybe, but it’s a yes anyways.”

“That’s good,” Nate whispers before kissing Rory again.

“When I go towards you, it is with my whole life.” — Rainer Maria Rilke

It’s summer again in Denver and Rory has taken to staying over at Nate’s place more often than not. He decided to come back early this year to spend more time with her to make up for lost time. Rory was flustered at first, knowing that it was disrupting his usual routine, but he was insistent that she was worth it.

Rory rolls over and curls into Nate, who’s still surprisingly in bed. He kisses her head softly, causing her to smile. It’s rare that they cuddle together in the morning with Nate’s training schedule, so she enjoys every moment she can.

“Good morning,” Nate says softly. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, just enjoying this,” Rory mumbles. “Thought you would be gone by now.”

“This seemed a little bit better than working out,” Nate jokes. 

Rory laughs and adjusts to look up at him, smiling widely. Nate leans down to give her a quick kiss before setting his phone back down on the nightstand. In this moment, Rory feels the most content she’s felt in a long time. Everything just… feels right and she doesn’t want to break the moment.

“What are you staring at?” Nate asks, trying to not laugh.

“You,” Rory answers, smiling a little before giving him a quick kiss.

“Mmm, morning breath,” Nate mumbles, kissing her back. “Also didn’t realize I was that nice to look at.”

“Well, you are. And I’m just really happy,” Rory states. 

Nate's eyes crinkle as he smiles widely and goes to kiss Rory again. They get lost in each other and the slowing of time that only an early summer morning can bring. This time, Rory pulls away, knowing that they have other matters to take care of today. She knows that there will be plenty of other moments like this to enjoy now that they have forever ahead of them.

“You promised that we would go furniture shopping today,” Rory says.

“Ugh,” Nate groans, pulling her up to kiss her jaw. “I don’t want to though.”

“We can’t keep putting this off forever, though,” Rory points out. “I’ll just keep bugging you until we do it.”

“Why can’t I just give you my credit card? It’s not like I’m going to be any help,” Nate points out.

“But I want you to be there,” Rory replies, smiling. “I like being around you.”

“I’m sure you won’t be saying that two hours into furniture shopping. There’s a reason why I made my mom do all the shopping.”

“And I love your mother, she made some very good choices. But it’s… kind of empty here, isn’t it?”

Nate sighs. “Fine, I guess I can go. Just this once.”

“I love you,” Rory blurts out, then immediately freezing. 

“Oh,” Nate says softly, seemingly surprised.

“I - sorry that’s probably too much,” Rory whispers. 

“But you meant it?”

“Of course I do. You’re one of the best things to happen to me, Nate. I know things have been hard before this but...I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Nate stares at Rory for a moment, trying to process everything. He reaches over and holds her face, stroking her jaw before giving her a quick kiss. 

“I love you too,” Nate confesses softly as he pulls back. “I’m so sorry I left you the first time, but I promise to keep making it up to you, no matter what.”

Rory laughs a little, before smirking. “And now you can make it up to me by going furniture shopping with me.”

“I guess it’s not going to be so bad with you if it means I get to keep you around.”

“Good answer, babe.”

“I’m going to make some coffee, but take your time.”

Rory hums a little. “Okay, I’ll be out soon.”

Once Nate is out of the room, Rory takes a deep breath. Despite being together for months now, he still manages to set her off balance in the best of ways. There’s brief moments where none of this feels real to Rory - she still has times where it’s hard to imagine Nate being happy about dating her. But hearing Nate tell her that he loves her...something about it settles some of her worries about their relationship.

The smell of fresh coffee finally tempts Rory to roll out of bed and throw on one of Nate’s old t-shirts in place of her pajamas. As she makes her way to the kitchen, she also hears the sizzling of bacon and Nate cracking some eggs. This brings a small smile to her face, knowing that this means Nate is going to try and push for a lazy morning as long as possible.

“You look nice,” Nate says, smiling. 

Rory rolls her eyes. “I don’t look any better than before.”

“Ah, I think that’s where you’re wrong,” Nate remarks, giving her a quick kiss. “You -”

“Always look better with my clothes on,” Rory finishes, smiling. “I think you’ve mentioned it a couple of times.”

“Still true, no matter how many times I’ve said it,” Nate says. “I’ve got breakfast going, so you can just grab some coffee and relax.”

“This is nice,” Rory replies softly. “It’s not going to get you out of shopping today though.”

Nate sighs, laughing a little. “It was worth a shot.”

“You should feel lucky that I’m going furniture shopping for a place I don’t even live in, though,” Rory points out. “Like, I’m not even going to fully enjoy everything I pick out.”

“You could though,” Nate blurts out, immediately blushing.

“Are you… implying something here?” Rory inquires, raising an eyebrow. 

“Um,” Nate says. “I was just thinking you could, uh, maybe move in with me to fully enjoy whatever you pick out.”

“Babe, you literally just told me that you loved me this morning,” Rory snorts. “I appreciate the offer, but this is a lot right now.”

Nate groans and hides his face in Rory’s shoulder. She laughs a little, knowing how embarrassed he’s feeling right now. Ever since they’ve started dating, he’s gotten a lot better at communicating, even if it means blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Look, my answer isn’t a no,” Rory says. “I still have my lease for a little less than a year, but after that, we can talk.”

“Okay,” Nate mumbles before pulling back. “I’m sorry for being too much.”

Rory smiles. “I don’t mind it, you know that. But if you ever want to back out of the offer…”

“I’m not going to back out,” Nate pouts.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, babe,” Rory says, smiling. “Now make sure the bacon isn’t burning, okay?”

Nate smiles, kissing her softly. “Okay, can do.”

This might not be how Rory was expecting her morning to go, but she’s grateful for it nonetheless. Being here with Nate likes this is more than she could have asked for this time last year, and she’s never felt so lucky.

[funkymbtifiction]

Can you help me find my type please?- I have been torn between Infj and infp for a little while. I had settled with Infj originally, but in hopes of not being mistyped I am also considering the possibility of me being an infp. There are certain aspects from both types that I resonate with....

You are a wonderful, creative, imaginative ISFJ. Let's look:

On a daily basis I feel as though I am constantly preparing for events or situations in hopes of having some sort of control over my environment. It’s not so much that I want to control people, but I want to know what’s going on around me constantly in order to be prepared for what’s coming next. Being prepared gives me a sense of peace because I know what is going to happen so there’s no unwanted surprises. <- strong Si

When I’m completing an assignment for one of my classes, I always evaluate my options and pick which one is best depending on the circumstance. For example, recently I had to write a paper, psychoanalyzing a character with mental illness from a movie. While there are plenty of movies with characters that have mental illness, I quickly came up with two that I had previously watched since a familiar movie would make the analysis easier for me. Then I was able to narrow it down to one based on the complexity of the characters involved in the two movies and which one had more interesting information to discuss in the paper. This thought process was done quite quickly in my head. <- Si. You chose a character you are intimately familiar with to streamline the process (this is not abstract thinking, this is a useful, practical sensory method of easily accomplishing it)

I like to know the deeper meaning of things and I constantly do that even when I’m out for a walk. For example, if I’m out on a nice sunny spring evening and so see a lovely tree with green leaves. I might start to think about how these leaves are so bright and lively, but in a few months they will change color and fall, then the tree will completely loose its leaves. However, in the end the tree always comes back to its happy state with green leaves swaying in the cool breeze. I would then relate that to the human circle of life. Humans actually don’t have much time on earth, but every stage of life we experience is just as valuable as the next l. There’s will be moments that are more positive than others but they all teach us lessons that are valuable. Once one life is gone another life begins and the process goes on and on as humans evolve through generations similar to the changing leaves of a tree through seasons. <- 100% gorgeous example of Si and Ti. Si knows what is permanent, and sees what things were, what they are, and what they are becoming, the permanence of things. What LASTS. What outlives us. What has stability. What does that tree mean to me? Who has sat under its branches? Who has leaned against it? What has sheltered beneath it in a storm? What can this teach us (Fe) about being human? What do we learn from our life experiences (Si)? A lovely, sensory abstract comparison (Si is abstract, just not abstract in the way Ni is).

When I am with a group of people, whether I know them or not I can easily get a feel for the atmosphere and adhere to what is expected of me. If they are sad I will be somber with them while trying to comfort them if I feel they need it. If they are happy I will be happy with them and try to keep them happy. If people are angry I usually start to feel anxious because I don’t react well to anger. Peoples emotions heavily influence me ever since I was little. <- Fe. My ENFJ says Fe is like being a chameleon. You have no choice but to change colors around other people, to adapt yourself to them so you can reach them on a level they can understand.

My thirst for knowledge is constant and never ending. I’m never satisfied because I know there’s more to learn. When I start researching something about a certain topic, I read article after article, watch video after video, and look at as many posts as I can pertaining to that topic solely for the sake of learning more about it. <- Si detail gathering.

Actually, there have been many times where I’ve completed assignments in a different way to what was “expected” simply because it felt for logical to me. I understood it better that way so I completed the assignment that way. Also, I enjoy helping my friends out with their homework which I usually do. When I am checking my friends work I am easily able to point of mistakes or errors in their work that they were not able to notice. <-Si and Ti. All I can say is thank God for ISFJ proof-readers, I owe them a debt of gratitude. ;)

When I’m not thinking about the future, I’m thinking about memories that I’ve made. These memories are usually triggered by a pretty scenery or an object that holds a lot of meaning to me. For example, sometimes I’ll look outside of my bedroom window when the sun sets and every time I do that, I get emotional thinking about the times I would walk down these streets as a kid and how fast time flew by. I remember how the area changed and people that I loved left to continue their lives. Then I think about how one day I won’t be looking out of this window, but out of the window of my own home looking at a different scenery and introducing new people into my life. It gets me thinking how beautiful life is and how much we take for granted. Usually after these moments I feel very appreciative for the life that I have and the wonderful people in my life. I conclude that I wouldn’t want it any other way. <- delightful SiFe. Warm, centered in what one values for oneself (the things special to me - Si), leading into low Ne thoughts about the future and what it means to be human.

Ever since I was young I felt like I understood things that other children or people did not pick up on. This usually pertained to social cues. I’ve always known how I was expected to act based on the atmosphere of the situation and how the people around me were behaving. However, it seemed that others didn’t really care as much. Children would behave however they wanted and even if they got yelled at by the teacher they would carry on the next day. I didn’t understand how they didn’t know how to behave or why they didn’t seem to care. Also, I always take into consideration the feelings of people, but I’ve noticed over the years that many people don’t care as much. In my everyday life I try to be kind to everyone I encounter. If I were to ever make someone upset or feel a negative emotions I would feel like a horrible person. However, I see other people offending each other all the time and they don’t seem to care. I don’t get how people could easily be so insensitive towards others. In addition, I have always had very good problem solving skills. When people would not understand something, I would immediately try to help them because somehow I understood it without much prior experience. I was just able to figure it out based on observations, which I didn’t see a lot of people doing as much while growing up. <- strong Fe. FJs can automatically know what is appropriate or not and adjust to a situation and become uncomfortable when others do not, because then the "rules" of social engagement are being broken, and it will make everyone uncomfortable or not know what to say or do within the situation.

I doubt I need to go on. You love to make cherished memories, the hallmark of an ISFJ. Memories are all we have, they connect us, they give the world meaning, and we build them around what holds great personal significance to ourselves, yes? ISFJ. Embrace it. Feel at home in it. Love it. :)

[remmushound]

Chapter 9 - Dinner Drama!

Summary: The Splintersons have a look around the home and then try to enjoy their dinner with their hosts.

Tags: @brightlotusmoon @scentedcandlecryptid @selfindulgenz @digitl-art-monstr @ilo-artistry

After a swift perimeter check to ease their nerves, the visitors finally started to settle into the lair. It was still so new, so enclosed, that Leo couldn’t see himself being comfortable any time soon. Not until he could confidently locate all the exits, and all the entrances, and where weapons were stored. Not until everything was as secure and as open as his lair was. It wasn’t his right to change the place, but it was his right to not feel comfortable when there were so many places enemies could be hiding unseen. So many dark corners, concealed cubbies that could be hiding threats. So much potential for danger.

When Leo got an opportunity alone with Leonardo, he immediately knew what he wanted to ask. “Hey Leonardo, is your Raph still… you know, calling the shots?”

Leonardo had been anticipating that question all day. He gave a pointedly loud sigh and rolled his eyes as he slumped around to be facing his counterpart, “You ask that every time we see each other. You know that?”

Leo felt his cheek grow hot and his head shrank slightly. Trying to save face, he was quick to defend himself. “Well— a lot can change in six months!”

“Six months…” Leonardo sighed again, and this time it was more genuine and heavy. The revelation of just how long it had been washed over him like an icy bucket of water. Yes, it had been six months, hadn’t it? The time seemed to slip away from him. “Yeah… and a lot has changed. But that hasn’t.”

“I just figured… your whole situation would have changed by now. Especially with you boys growing up.” Leo made an effort to explain, awkward now that he knew he was wrong in his assumption. And he had been so certain too! Since he and his brothers had arrived, Leonardo was acting so confident, so much like a leader! Had Leo just imagined all that?

“Well you figured wrong.” Leonardo said, and now his voice had a defensive edge, “Raphael is just as capable as ever. He is and will always be our leader. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, no, not at all!” Leo put his hands up in an offering of peace, “i was just wondering.”

“Yeah.” Leonardo made sure to side-check Leo as he passed, “Sure you were.”

~~~

“Hey little Mike, you got a minute?” Raph waved at the smaller version of his brother.

Michelangelo looked back, and then skipped over to Raph while humming a happy, upbeat tune. “You’re really risking it all by calling me little again~! What do you need?”

“Er…” It took Raph a second to brush past the threat laced into the happy voice, “Just… y’know… I saw a pool during the tour and was wonderin’ if it was recreational or jus’ for training?”

“Well we usually swim laps in it for warmups, but I don’t see why you couldn’t swim whenever. We got floaties if you need ‘em! Mine have sharks on them!”

Raph grinned. “Do they now?”

Michelangelo nodded eagerly. “Yeah! I’m not allowed to go in the pool without them cause I can’t swim so good.”

“Aw.” Raph nodded along, “That’s too bad.”

“Yeah! I‘m too heavy— I sink like a rock! Can you swim?”

“Eh, more or less.” Raph gave a so-so motion. “If my life depended on it, sure. Never really had much access to water that wasn’t a cesspool or Amazon river.” He shivered at the memory of being dropped in the water, the current pulling him and his brothers along like they were little more than skipping stones.

“Oo! Sounds fun!” Michelangelo chirped, “But do be mindful of Piebald; she likes to swim in there sometimes!”

“Piebald?”

“Oh, she’s a mutant goldfish. She was dad’s pet, but then we flushed her and she mutated and then pretended to hunt us with a hook, but it was really all just an elaborate prank from her and dad to punish us for lying.”

Raph stared. “Oh.”

“Yeah, but she’s totally nice now and not at all sadistic and revenge-driven! No worries.”

“Wasn’t worried at all.” Raph lied.

~~~

After their quick assessment, Leonardo and Donnie had come to the decision that Mikey needed the simplest medicine of all: rest. Raphael had been more than happy to stay with Mikey until the turtles could adjust to the new environment, but exactly when that would happen was anyone's guess. Mikey was sat in Raphael’s bed, wrapped in the snappers heaviest comfort blanket and hugging Cheech as he listened to the snapper chatter with all the joy of a child. Klunk had settled in and was sleeping on Mikey’s lap in a tight orange ball, purring to his hearts content.

“Oh oh oh!” Mikey chirped quickly, “Tell me more about the capybara tell me more about the capybaraaa!”

“His name’s Todd.” Raphael indulged, “He owns a puppy farm in the woods near here.”

“Puppies..” Mikey sniffled softly and hugged Cheech tighter, “This day just keeps getting better and better. Are he and the mantis friends?”

“Todd’s friends with everyone.” Raphael answered.

“Oh my gaaaawwdd…” Mikey fell back down on his carapace, laughing weakly as he stared up at the ceiling. “That’s awesome…”

Raph moved to carefully reposition Cheech in a way that Mikey could still hug him while laying down, fixing the blanket and pillows to make sure the shinobi was as comfortable as possible. Mikey’s eyes were closed now, the stuffed bear drawn to his chest as he laid peacefully. Raphael stood slowly and made his way to the door.

The moment Raphael’s hand touched the handle, Mikey sat up straight. “Where are you going?”

“Oh— sorry. I thought you were asleep.” Raphael said, and he returned to Mikey’s side.

Mikey settled back into the bed, cuddling deeper into the blankets and giving a series of high pitched chirps that eventually faded to nothing. Raphael gave it a few more minutes before slowly getting up and going to leave again.

Like Dracula out of his coffin, Mikey sat up again and spoke so suddenly that Raphael couldn’t help but flinch. “What about the other mutants?”

Raphael took a deep breath as he spun around on his heels to face the turtle who still wasn’t asleep. “What do you wanna about them?”

Mikey grinned. “Everything!”

***


Donnie didn't think anything could top him meeting Shelldon that night— and then he saw Donatello’s lab for the first time. The beautifully artistic designs mixed with a generally futuristic style made for a gorgeous display of technological genius . Just like Donnie’s own lab, Donatello had several screens activated at once, scanners and alarms and traps all set to be activated at the simple trip of a sensor. The entire room was lit up in a peculiar violet hue, almost as if it was under one big black light. If that was the case, then Donatello certainly kept his room spotless.

“Oh my kami…” Donnie gulped, his eyes emeralds in the darkness. “Can I live here? I wanna live here…”

“You gotta pay rent.” Donatello said.

“I’d give anything to have my lab like this!”

“Would you give your right cornea?” Donatello leaned against the wall.

“Eh, my eyes are useless. I would give up a kidney or a gallbladder though.” 

“I’ll grab the bone saw.”

“I’ll sign the consent form…”

***

“Dinner is served!” Michelangelo presented a simple dish of pizza gyoza to the table; one could say it was just homemade pizza rolls, but that ruined the magic! Besides, they were more doughy like a dumpling than anything crunchy. 

The two families were gathered around and eager to eat, seated around two tables that had been pressed together to make enough room for ten diners; each set of brothers were on opposite sides of the table, while the heads of the table were reserved for the Splinter’s. The absence of one of the two fathers didn't go unnoticed.

“Itadakimasu.” Splinter said to the proud Michelangelo, “The food looks delicious. Won’t your father be joining us?”

Another chill came to the room. Another exchange of unsettled looked.

“Dad asked not to be disturbed.” Leonardo said simply.

The Hamato family turned their eyes to their food, working with the same mind to scarf down the gyoja as fast as possible, filling their mouths so they wouldn’t have to speak. The Splinterson family took the same opportunity to look around at each other, all but Mikey having the same, constricted looks on their faces; Mikey was already lost in his own mind, his eyes blank as he smiled and shoveled the offered dinner into his mouth.

“Surely your father would prefer to eat his supper while it is still hot?” Splinter insisted.

Raphael stood abruptly. His plastron bumped into the table and made the dishes clink and glasses splash with the force of his motion, but chair screaming as it was pushed back.

“You know what? You’re right.” Raphael hurried to gather another plate and pile it with gyoji, his eyes avoiding Splinter’s as he piled the dinner on a tray with freshly brewed tea. “I’ll bring this to him right away.”

When Raphael left, he took the conversation with him. He returned minutes later but the air of the room remained quiet and tense. Eager to break the silence, Leo finished off the last of his gyoji.

“Gochi sou sama deshita.” He said, and bowed to Michelangelo, “And while I am thankful for your hospitality— we all are— this isn’t a social visit. We really need to get back to our world. Can your gift do that, Donatello?”

“Should be able to.” Donatello said with a nod, “It was designed for two trips, here and back.”

“Great, then what are we waiting for?” Leo looked around for an answer but no one offered one, “Those creatures are still in our world, could be targeting our people, our city!”

“We need a plan first Leo.” Donnie tried to reason, “We can’t just run in blind.”

“Then we should be planning instead of just hanging out!”

“Can’t plan on an empty stomach.” Michelangelo said, pointing his chopsticks at Leo. “We’re eating!”

A sharp hiss came from Leo’s throat. “Don’t. Point. It’s rude.”

Michelangelo put his chopsticks back down and shrank away from the violent hiss, the retreat as instinctual to him as going into his shell.

“Leonardo…” Splinter tried to reason, “Please settle down and allow us to have a nice supper before discussing.”

“But we need to discuss this now!”

Leo’s disobedience of his father made his brothers gasp, Raph pulling back slightly while Mikey even broke out of his minds wandering to tune back in. Leo flinched at his backtalk and fell into a quick, clumsy bow.

“Shitsurei shimashita, sensei.” Leo said in a low voice before regaining his composure, “I just feel like these guys aren’t taking this situation seriously.”

“And I feel like you expect us to pull a solution out of our asses.” Leonardo hissed back.

“Now now, there’s no need for vulgarity…” Splinter tried.

“I’m not suggesting that you have the answers, I suggesting we need to find them instead of doing house tours!” Leo snarled back.

“If you don’t like it, you can get out.” Leonardo didn't back down.

“Leo, it’s fine, cool it.” Donnie tried to mediate, grabbing a hold of his brother’s arm; he was almost convinced Leo might lunge over the table at his smaller counterpart if this went on for much longer.

“I am cool!” Leo pulled his arm free, knocking Donnie back in the process. That got Raph involved, the box turtle standing up ready to confront his brother. Before he got so much as a word out, however…

“Everybody COOL IT!” Raphael slammed his fists down on the table.

The table splintered under Raphael’s slamming weight, chips of wood flying out like dangerous projectiles. The words, with all the force of a hurricane knocking trees out from their roots, brought a silent stalemate. Raphael looked pissed. His eyes were white, entire body like a taut wire that would snap at the slightest breaths. His nostrils flares, and when he had screamed, white, foaming spittle flew across the table. Now, it dripped down his lopsided jaw and chin.

“Not another word.” Raphael said, this time calmer as he left the table once more. All eyes followed him to the doorway to find a small, gray rat standing there watching them.

Yoshi’s mouth was pulled down in a tight frown, eyes glossy. His paws, shaky as they were, held his tray of dirty dishes that he had been intent on cleaning; for now, he just… stared. His fur seemed several shades paler, his hair tangled and unkept, and though it was hard to tell through the clothes. he looked skinny. The mutant looked around at the table, at the turtles and the rat he had paid many visits to, but when his eyes passed over them they held no recollection. No memory. Just dark confusion, empty and cold.

“Dad…” Leonardo said softly, but at Raphael’s threatening chuff, Leonardo said nothing more.

“Hey pops— here, let me get that for you…” Raphael took the tray from his father and hurried over to throw them haphazardly into the sink. He came back after, his massive hand completely engulfing Yoshi’s back to guide the old rat away away. Yoshi followed the snapper at a slow gait, though his feet dragged as if they were made of the heaviest lead and it took a while for him to get anywhere. “Come on, let’s get you back to bed okay?”

Everyone watched as the father and son disappeared out of the dining room, none of them daring to breathe, nonetheless utter a word.

[potionsprefect]

A United Workforce

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke, June Hirata x Tobias Carrick, Danny Cardinal x Sienna Trinh (all minor)

Word count: 4k

Summary: How did those associated with the victims cope with the Senator attack?

Missing moments during Open Heart book 2 chapter 11

Rating: Teen

Category: angst

Warnings: mentions of the events during chapter 11 of Open Heart book 2

Diagnostics Room 1:10pm

June had been smiling at her phone for the last 20 minutes, much to the amusement of Baz who was sat reading a medical book.

“What’s made you so happy June?” Baz asked.

June looked up a little too quickly but kept a cool and composed face. “Is a woman not allowed to be happy without a reason?”

“Not when it comes to you.” Baz chuckled.

“Ok fine. Let’s just say I got lucky.” June shrugged.

“Anyone I know?”

“Even if you did you wouldn’t have a witty remark to say about him.”

Baz rolled his eyes and went back to his book. June continued to text Tobias:

My place or yours tonight?

It didn’t take long for a reply.

That depends. How quickly can you put the key in your front door?

June smirked at the reply but before she could answer his question her pager went off.

Diagnostics Room - emergency

She looked at Baz who was looking at her with the same confused look.

“You don’t think somethings happened to the Senator?” Baz asked.

“Whatever it is, it sounds urgent.” June jumped out of her chair and hurried out the door, Baz following her quickly behind.

They sprinted down the hallway and down the stairs where they found Ethan pacing nervously.

“Ethan what’s happened?” Baz asked.

“Travis has released something dangerous in the room with Victoria inside. Rafael Aveiro, Danny and Bobby are also inside.” Ethan explained.

“Do we know what it is?” Baz said.

“No, there could be hundreds of options. We desperately need to find out what it is. Bobby has already died and the others are critical.” Ethan took a deep breath but his voice was still shaky.

“Take a deep breath. We need to stay calm for Victoria. If we panic, it’ll give her reason to panic.” June said looking at Ethan. Given the recent conversation she had with Victoria, she was convinced that her and Ethan were in some sort of relationship. And given how panicked he looked right now, June was sure she was right.

“You’re right. We can’t panic. We need to keep a level head.” Ethan said grabbing a hazmat suit. “We’ll need to put these on to protect ourselves.”

“Are there any traces in the room?” June asked as the three headed down the corridor.

“No whatever was in the can has been fully discharged. There were no traces anywhere.” Ethan replied.

“So whatever it is only lives within their bodies?” Baz said.

“Exactly. It could be a long night.”

June’s mind drifted to all the obstacles they had faced in the past. None were as serious as this but they hadn’t been beaten yet and were certainly not going to be beaten now.

Whatever this was would not win. Not if she had anything to say about it.

— — — — —

Room 516 1:23pm

The nurse looked at her colleague as he took shallow breaths in the glass box, his oxygen mask trying to help him as much as it could.

“Danny, listen to me, you are not dying you hear me!” Sarah said through tears. “You are not leaving us so soon.”

Danny gave a weak chuckle, momentarily taking off his oxygen mask. “Well now I know I can’t even observe the Grim Reaper from a distance.”

“This isn’t funny Danny.” Sarah sighed.

“I know it’s not. But that’s how I deal with situations.” Danny replied.

Marlene then entered the room in a hazmat suit, her bloodshot eyes showed she had been crying.

“Oh Danny. How did you get yourself entangled in all this.” Marlene sighed.

“You know me. Always looking for trouble.” Danny chuckled.

Danny’s breathing turned into slight wheezing, it was clear he was struggling to breathe. Sarah, who’s hand was holding one of Danny’s noticed the grip had weakened.

“No, no Danny. Danny? Stay with us. You’ve got to keep your eyes open. Don’t shut your eyes.” Sarah pleaded but it was a losing battle.

Danny’s eyes flickered, as if he was desperately fighting to stay awake but he couldn’t. His eyes shut and his hand dropped away.

“Page the diagnostics team.” Sarah said. Marlene nodded and grabbed her pager writing the message as quickly as she could.

Danny wasn’t moving. His breaths were short and shallow and his body was desperately trying to fight whatever was in his system.

Whatever this was was cruel. And it was effecting everyone.

— — — — —

Mass Kenmore 1:38pm

Aurora smiled to herself as she walked out of a patients room, file in hand. She had successfully diagnosed a benign tumour in the breast of a patient and was happy that it would simply have to be removed in surgery.

Aurora was always glad to give news like that because it wasn’t just the news the patient hoped for. Delivering good news was always better than delivering bad news.

Aurora filled in the chart and filed it away, satisfied with her work. As she looked up she saw a face looking at her.

“Successful diagnosis Aurora?” The Doctor asked.

Aurora did all she couldn’t to hold back a sarcastic retort. She didn’t like socialising with this doctor outside of the hospital walls. Not after what he did.

“Yes Dr Olsen.” Aurora gave him a thin smile.

“That’s great. Personally I’ve diagnosed three patients this morning but whose counting?” Landry smirked.

“You by the sounds of it.” Aurora retorted. She’d have this one only once.

A flicker of surprise danced across Landry’s face but he hid it well and recomposed himself.

“So how is... uh... everyone?” Landry fidgeted.

“Why do you care?” Aurora asked.

“I’m just making conversation.”

“Well don’t. I don’t want to speak to you. And neither would anyone here if they found out what you did back at Edenbrook.” Aurora glared.

“You can’t talk to me like that!” Landry glared back.

“And what are you going to do about it? Turn off my pager? Hide my charts? Spread hurtful rumours to my colleagues about me? Is that how low Landry Olsen will go?” Aurora got in his face.

“I’d do it again if it meant fairness for all.” Landry sneered.

“You little-“

Aurora’s phone cut off the sentence. She looked at her phone

You need to get over to Edenbrook NOW. Something’s happened to Victoria.

Aurora froze. Her and Victoria weren’t on the best of terms at the minute. Her outburst at the baseball match was over the top.

But from Elijah’s text, Victoria sounded like she was in danger. And if she was in danger, Aurora was going to be there for her.

“Aurora?” Landry’s voice tore her away from the text.

“I... I have to go.” Aurora said, putting her things down and straightening her coat.

“Is everything ok?”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

“You walk out of here and I’ll tell Tobias you’re bunking off.”

Aurora whipped her head round and strode up to Landry, gripping his arm tightly.

“You do that and I’ll tell everyone in this hospital what a snivelling little rat you really are, how you’ll do anything to make sure you’re in the graces of Kenmore’s gods. How Landry Olsen already fucked it up once and will almost certainly do it again because he cares about no one but himself. And if he ever thinks about trying the stunts he pulled off at Edenbrook, he will be out of this hospital faster than Usain Bolt’s 100m world record.” Aurora said through gritted teeth before she let go of Landry’s arm and walked out the hospital.

She ran down the street as fast as she could, dodging everyone in quick movements, desperate to get to Edenbrook. The tone of the text made it sound serious and the panic rising in Aurora’s chest wouldn’t settle until she knew what was going on.

Aurora entered the hospital searching the large reception area for any sign of her roommates, when she couldn’t see them she headed further into the hospital, finding them by the nurses station.

“I got here as fast as I could.” Aurora panted, the panic in her chest was made worse by the grave look on her roommates and Bryce’s face. “What’s happened?”

“There’s been an attack on the Senator. His aide released something in his room with Victoria and Rafael inside, Danny and Bobby the security guard were also there as well.” Bryce explained as they rushed upstairs.

“What was it?” Aurora asked.

“We don’t know. Travis didn’t say what was in it.” Bryce sighed.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” Sienna looked at Aurora.

“Whatever is going on between Victoria and I doesn’t matter right now. What matters is I’m here for her. And she’d do the same.” Aurora said. “I’m sorry you’ve all been caught in the middle of it this past week, I don’t think either of us want you taking sides.”

“What’s important is we’re all here for her now. And Rafael. Whatever this is, it sounds bad. Doctor Ramsey was organising for a decontamination tent so he and the diagnostics team can enter and exit the room safely.” Bryce explained.

“That makes it sound toxic.” Elijah shuddered.

“We have to keep positive. For Victoria and Raf’s sake. They’re probably terrified.” Jackie sighed.

“Agreed. If we panic, they’ll panic. We have to stay strong.” Sienna replied.

Aurora nodded and continued rushing down the corridor where Victoria and Rafael were. When she saw them, her heart stopped.

“Oh thank god you’re still standing.” Aurora said.

Their bodies looked tired, their eyes bloodshot, their hair disheveled. Rafael looked much worse than Victoria. He looked pleased to see them whilst Victoria looked slightly anxious.

“You guys shouldn’t be here.” Victoria sighed.

“Don’t be silly. As long as we stay on this side of the door we’ll be fine.” Jackie sighed.

“How did you get here Aurora? You’re supposed to be at Mass Kenmore.”

“I cut out as soon as Elijah text me. You’re in trouble so I’m here. That’s that.”

She could’ve sworn she saw Sora out the corner of her eye but she didn’t take her eyes of Victoria, desperate to show her that she was determined to put the past behind her and be here for her now. Whatever had happened had been long forgotten.

Aurora was determined to help cure whatever had gotten inside Victoria’s body. And she wouldn’t rest until she found a cure.

— — — — —

Labratory 6:25pm

This must’ve been the hundredth vial of blood Ethan had looked at today. He put it in the machine and waited for the results. It was a repetitive process and Ethan was beginning to get frustrated.

Ticking off every possible cause one by one was irritating him. They needed to find out what it was, they didn’t have time to go through every possible idea. If they continued with this much longer, Victoria and Rafael’s system could shut down.

Images of Victoria flashed through his mind. He felt like he was letting her down. He had managed to solve everything they had faced before. Why was this so difficult?

Before Ethan could find out the results from the machine, his pager went off.

Code blue room 516.

“Shit!” Ethan said out loud and took off down the corridor, June hot on his heels.

“Did you get the same page?” June shouted, their footsteps loud on the hard floor.

“Yes! We can’t lose him. We can’t.” Ethan’s voice cracked and he could feel tears forming in his eyes.

Ethan and June quickly put on the hazmat suit and burst through the door.

“His BP’s low.” Marlene said working through the monitors.

“I can’t feel a pulse.” Sarah said looking at the doctors.

“Start CPR and push the adrenaline.” June instructed.

Ethan grabbed the crash cart, he desperately tried to stop his hands from trembling.

“Stand back.” Ethan said, he placed the pads on Danny’s chest and shocked him. There was no improvement.

“Push lidocaine.” June said to Sarah who nodded.

Another 15 minutes went by and there was still no change in Danny’s condition. Panic had fully set in Ethan’s chest and judging by the looks of his colleagues, they felt the same way.

“Ethan.” June said taking the panels off him. She gently put them down. “He’s gone.” There were tears rolling down her face.

Ethan wasn’t sure he heard her, the sound of the monitor was deafening. He stared down at Danny, it looked as if he was sleeping. That he would wake up at any point.

But Ethan knew he wouldn’t.

“Time of death 6:51.” Ethan said in a shaky voice. He looked over at June who was looking down at Danny with sad eyes, Sarah and Marlene were crying quietly. Ethan then looked up and regretted it instantly.

Sienna was stood outside the window, being held up by Jackie, crying her eyes out. Ethan’s heart broke for her. He was sure if it was Victoria in front of him he’d have the same reaction.

Ethan didn’t even want to think about that. Losing Victoria would mean the end of the world for him.

As June turned off the monitor, Ethan headed out the room and took off the hazmat suit. He approached Sienna and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and before he could react, she went to hug him, still crying, gripping the lapels of his lab coat.

Ethan didn’t hesitate to comfort her. He had shared his feelings for Victoria with her not that long ago and right now she needed a shoulder to cry on. He was sure she’d be comforting him if it was the other way round.

“We got the results back from the machine.” Jackie said quietly, her eyes glistening with tears.

“And?” Ethan asked.

Jackie’s hesitation told Ethan everything he needed to know.

“It’s not good news.”

— — — — —

Labratory 6:28pm

Baz glanced at his two colleagues as they sprinted out the door. His pager had also gone off but he decided to wait for the results from the machine. June and Ethan were more than capable of handling whatever they were about to face.

The beeping of the machine startled him and he reached over and ripped out a set of results. Baz scanned them, seeing lots of ticks everywhere. He breathed a sigh of relief but then he noticed what it said next to them.

A maitotoxin.

Baz’s heart sank. It wasn’t good news. Yes they knew what it was but maitotoxins were deadly and there was no cure to them.

Fuck you Travis.

“What is it?” Aurora asked.

Baz handed her the results. The others craned their necks trying to read what the paper said. Their faces faded as their eyes scanned it. Sienna let our a little whimper, Jackie kicked the chair in frustration, Bryce ran his hands through her hair and Elijah felt a tear roll down his cheek.

“Is there nothing we can do?” Bryce shakily asked.

“I’m afraid not.” Baz sighed, tears swimming in his eyes.

“We should tell Ethan and June.” Jackie nudged Sienna and she nodded as they both headed out the room.

“How did he get ahold of that?!” Elijah sighed.

“We may never know.” Baz sighed.

Aurora who still held the results in her hand tossed the paper away and pulled her phone out her pocket. “The fights not over yet.” She said and she headed out the door as her phone rang.

“Pick up pick up pick up.” Aurora muttered hoping she would hear the voice she wanted to hear.

“Dr Emery?” A voice said.

“Thank god you answered.” Aurora sighed in relief.

“Where are you? Doctor Olsen said you ran out of the hospital hours ago? What’s going on?” Tobias asked.

“There’s been an incident at Edenbrook. Senator Farrugia’s aide Travis has deployed a maitotoxin in his hospital room with Doctor Clarke inside.”

“A maitotoxin?”

“Yes! It turns out he’s been poisoning the Senator in some sort of revenge plan. We need all the help we can get. Please Tobias. One person had already died and two others are seriously ill. We need your help.” Aurora pleaded. She had never resorted to begging for help, but this was a life or death situation.

“I’ll grab the team and we’ll be right over. Clarke’s not dying. Not on my watch.” Tobias said.

“Thank you Tobias.” Aurora said and hung up. She headed back into the room where she saw Baz staring at his pager. “What is it?”

Baz handed her his pager and Aurora’s heart stopped.

Danny died. Rafael is in a coma.

Tears were spilling down Aurora’s face. Travis’ actions had claimed another life and Rafael was going downhill.

They needed a cure and they needed it now.

— — — — —

Hospital Corridor 2:56am

The Paediatric wing was one of the most decorative floors in the hospital, pictures of sea animals lined the walls, hoping to calm the children who were sent there for treatment down.

Bryce wasn’t sure why he was walking around this specific floor. He had intended to check on Kyra again but had taken a detour mid route. Maybe seeing the children sleep peacefully would help calm his nerves.

The team were working tirelessly to find a cure for Victoria and Rafael. He had already lost Danny, he couldn’t lose two other friends. He felt helpless. He was only a surgeon who could offer ideas, it was the doctors who put the theories to use.

Bryce came to a stop outside Kyra’s room. She was sleeping peacefully. Her chest was heavily bandaged but she was alive. She had made it through the worst.

“Your friend is very lucky.” A familiar voice said. Bryce turned his head and saw Dr Tanaka walking towards him.

“Any complications?” Bryce asked.

“None. Her vitals are good. I think she’ll make a full recovery.”

“That’s great.”

“How’s it going upstairs?”

“Not great if I’m honest but we’re trying to stay positive.” Bryce sighed.

“Don’t give up hope Lahela. Hope is never lost.” Tanaka said before he headed off back down the corridor.

Bryce took one last look at Kyra before he headed back upstairs to where the team were working, determined not to let the maitotoxin win.

They would find a cure. And they would find it soon.

— — — — —

Labratory 4:02am

“The moment of truth.” Tobias said. He took the pipette in his hand and gently squeezed it.

This was it. If this wasn’t the cure they would be back to square one. Everyone watched with baited breath. You could hear a pin drop.

They were almost waiting for the worst. They had been back and forth so many times, if this didn’t work they wouldn’t be surprised.

And in the blink of an eye, they had the answer they had been hoping and praying for.

It has worked. The compound was sure not to bind to the plasma membranes. It would attach to the toxin.

Cheers flooded the room. Sienna practically burst into tears. There were hugs to go all around.

They had done it.

“We need to give it to them. Now.” Tobias said.

“Go to Rafael first. He’s much more serious.”Jackie said.

June and Baz nodded and rushed out the room.

“Did Ethan stay with Victoria all night?” Tobias asked.

“Looks like it. I think he wanted to keep her company.” Sienna replied.

“Is that all?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve known Ethan for a long time. He’s never shown this much dedication to someone ever. He’s completely infatuated with her.” Tobias chuckled.

Sienna, mindful of the conversation she had with Ethan earlier replied “he cares about her a lot because they work closely together.”

“With all respect Doctor Trinh I think he cares about her a lot more than you think. You should’ve seen him at Mr Bloom’s mansion. Ethan was prepared to walk out of there and never see the man again but Doctor Clarke was the only one who could’ve persuaded him to stay. And he did. Because of her.” Tobias said.

“Would you say he’s-“

“Madly in love with her? Yes I would. Now all he has to do is tell her.” Tobias laughed a little.

Sienna thought back to the conversation she had in Ethan’s car.

I decided it would be better for her career if we kept our distance.

She knew how much Victoria cared for the older doctor but she didn’t realise just how much. She thought catching her sneaking him out of her room last year was just blowing off some steam.

It was clearly much more than that.

— — — — —

Room 172 8:21am

Sienna’s eyes were so puffy from crying she could barely keep them open, the fatigue was catching up on her. Her whole body was sore.

She was currently sat outside Rafael’s room on the floor, desperately praying for him to wake up. Victoria was out of the woods. Now it was all down to Rafael to get the all clear. One down one to go.

Her heart ached for Danny and Bobby. Bobby always said hello to her whenever she arrived for her shift, whenever she was feeling down his jokes would cheer her up.

But Danny held the biggest spot in her heart. Joint with Victoria of course.

She always thought there was a little spark there. She knew he felt it too. Now she would be kicking herself for not pursuing it sooner. They could’ve had months together before all this.

Fat tears rolled down her cheeks again and she didn’t even try and stop them.

“Doctor Trinh he’s awake!” Sarah said from the doorway.

Sienna scrambled to her feet and approached Rafael’s bedside.

“Rafael? Can you hear me?”

“Sienna?” Rafael’s eyes darted to her.

“Look at me. Do you remember what happened?”

“Yeah. The attack on the Senator. Wasn’t I just talking to Victoria? Where am I now?” Rafael groaned.

“Take it easy, you were in a coma.” Sienna replied.

“What?! Did you find a cure? Is Victoria ok?” Rafael tried to sit up but winced in pain.

“Rafael no sudden movements! We found a cure. You’ve both been given it. Victoria’s fine, she’s recovering down the hall.” Sienna glared at him.

“Thank god.” Rafael breathed a sigh of relief.

Ethan then walked in the room and asked Rafael similar questions. When he was certain Rafael was clear, he turned to Sienna.

“You better go tell Victoria. I know she’ll be glad to hear Mr Aveiro’s ok. Good work Doctor Trinh.” Ethan smiled.

Sienna beamed and sprinted out the door and down the corridor, telling everyone and anyone she saw that Rafael was ok.

— — — — —

Room 172 9:34am

“Did someone say there was a party in here?” Bryce stuck his head in Rafael’s room.

“It ain’t a party until Bryce turns up.” Victoria laughed from one of the seats next to Rafael’s bed.

“Good answer.”

“Where’s Aurora?” Jackie asked.

“She’s got a shift soon, she went home to get some sleep.” Victoria replied.

“I can’t wait to hit my bed and not be interrupted for at least twelve hours.” Jackie sighed.

“Twelve? Catch me not waking up in fifteen.” Elijah laughed.

“Doctor Ramsey’s given us today off. Although he’s making us come in at 6am tomorrow.” Sienna said when Victoria shared a confused look with her.

“The more things change the more others stay the same huh?” Victoria laughed a little.

“Just work your magic on him, I’m sure he’ll bend the rules then.” Jackie winked.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Sure.”

“I’m glad you two are ok. I don’t know what would’ve happened if...” Sienna trailed off, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“You don’t have to think like that Sienna. We’re ok. Not perfect but we’re alive.” Rafael took her hand.

“We’re not going anywhere Sienna. We’re here. I promise.” Victoria smiled.

“Last night was awful. I’m glad it’s behind us.” Sienna smiled sadly.

Victoria looked round at her friends all nodding in agreement. Her heart filled with warmth.

“Me too.”

— — — — —

Thank you for travelling on the angst train to your heart. We hoped you enjoyed your journey 😉

Hope you enjoy this! (If enjoy is the right word 😂🤷🏼‍♀️) Lmk if you would like to be tagged. I’m gonna go cry now 😢

Tag list: @ohchoices @openheartfan @queencarb @genevievemd @iemcpbchoices @choicesaddict5 @schnitzelbutterfingers @alina-yol-ramsey @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @stygianflood

[voltagesmutter]

Kids?

Request: can i ask the boys with a s/o who does NOT absolutly not, want kids? like she rather have 1000 pets than 1 kid

Kiro:

Kiro wanted a baby, there was no doubt about that. The hints started out subtle but grew and grew until he fully asked you one day.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have a baby chips?”. You almost choked on your drink. 

“Kiro, I love you but we’ve not been dating that long,”.

“I know, I feel like we’re just meant for each other, wouldn’t a baby be the perfect way to express our love,”.

“Kiro… a baby isn’t something you just decide on off a whim, it's a lifetime commitment of bringing a physical being into the world,”. 

“I just love you so much,”. 

“I love you too but I don’t want kids yet Kiro, your career is in such high peak what would happen if you went on tour again?”.

“Well you could both come with me,”.

“Kiro, you can’t bring a baby on tour… It’s wouldn’t be fair on us or our baby without you here,”.

“Well I-”.

“And I… I’m not ready yet to be a mom Kiro, I know you love it when Savin brings his baby to the set but having a baby to look after for a few hours is completely different to being a parent,”. 

He pouted but he knew you were right over the situation. You had a long chat into the night about your thoughts and feelings both of you agreeing you was still to young for kids. 

“Kiro! You home?” You yelled, opening your front door waiting for him to come running from somewhere within the house.

“Here Miss.Chips!” He strolled in through the living room before stopping, seeing you with a small bundle in your arms, “W-what is that?”.

“So this is a test run, to see how we would actually cope as parents,” You giggle as you unravel the blanket for a baby corgi fast asleep cradled against you, “This is our baby chips,”.

The two of you loved the puppy beyond words, you called him Sonny and was often found in co-matching outfits with Kiro. Sonny brought the pair of you closer in a way, the new responsibility making you see Kiro in a different light, a more mature responsible light. You would come home from work and find the pair of them passed out on the sofa cuddled up or Kiro showing him off on social media, determined to teach him every trick under the sun. Whilst you were set on not having kids yet, you knew when the time came, Kiro would be the best dad that existed. 

Victor:

Neither of you had spoken about having kids, they seemed like a extremely far, far, far away in the distance. 

That was until Goldman came into work one morning, late and extremely exhausted. Victor was ready to launch hell onto him, preparing to deduct a few zero’s of that eye-watering pay-cheque but it wasn’t until Goldman apologised telling him ‘Clare’ had been keeping him up did he change his mind.

“Don’t let your sex life effect your working ways Goldman,” Victor sighed with slight disgust but Goldman chuckled softly.

“Clare is my daughter, she came a few earlier than expected so it’s been a bit manic,”. Victor, having a heart, was intrigued by the photos and stories, demanding he brought the precious, tiny bundle into work for him to meet. And when he first laid eyes on the tiny newborn?

That was it, Victor had one thing on his mind, to get you pregnant with his child. 

“We’ll have to get married first of course,” He hummed, taking your hand in his. You was currently sat opposite him taking in the information: A. Goldman had a wife, B. Goldman had a child, C. Victor wanted to have a child with you. It was all overwhelming. 

“Victor, as lovely as that is, I’m not ready to have kids yet,” You sigh, watching his face drop slightly before pulling it back to his casual poker face.

“But, you’d be my wife, you would have everything you wanted,”.

“Victor! I want you to marry me because you love me, not just because you want to get me pregnant…” Your voice trailed off.

“I do love you, I do and I do want to marry you but I grew up with nothing, *You cocked an eyebrow* Okay fine, I grew up with very little compared to what I have now and I want to pass down the Li legacy and who better than to our child?” His words flooding your body as endless amounts of oxytocin pumped through your veins.

“I love that Victor, and I understand it all, but we can’t just have a baby so you can have an heir to your business, I’m not ready for that responsibility just yet Vic and that’s me being honest with you,” You squeeze his hand and he reassuringly squeezes it back, “Besides, you talking about marriage as if you’ve already proposed,”. You teased and wiggled your bare ring finger in front of his face as he chuckled softly.

Oh if only you knew about the diamond studded ring he had in his pocket, which he would present to you later that night during your private dining experience at Souvenir.  

Gavin:

Gavin wanted the whole family shablam. The big white wedding, the house, the two kids. He envisioned it to be part of his life. So the day you told him you wasn’t overly keen on the idea of kids it crushed him and his dreams.

“It’s not that I don’t ever want kids, but I just like having you to myself is all,” You shrugged, turning your back to him to him so you could begin preparing dinner.

“But wouldn’t it be nice, little us’s running around, you’d be an amazing mommy,” He wraps him arounds you from behind, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck. With a sigh, you place the vegetables in your hands down and rest against him.

“I do want that Gave, but just… just not right now okay, how would we cope? We both have full times jobs and your away on missions, you couldn’t keep coming home with all these new scars and wounds,”.

“Well, I mean… I could take an office job at the department, I know it’s less dangerous and more money and you could, well I mean, we don’t need two incomes with an office wage,”. He chose his words carefully, he knew how much your job meant to you. 

“So what? You expect me to give up my career and be a perfect stay at home mom? Waiting hand and foot, clean the house, care for the baby, do the cooking for when you come home?” You snapped, wrestling your way out his arms.

“No that’s not what I-” He started, the redness growing on his cheeks.

“What next? Ask you for my money allowance so I can go to the shop and buy things,” You huff, he had touched a nerve deeply with this subject. 

You refused to speak to him the rest of the night, kicking your husband out of your bedroom for him to sleep on the sofa. 

You did make up rather quickly the next day after a hearty long discussion, this had been your first fight as a married couple. Both of you agreeing now wasn’t the time to consider a baby and for you both to just enjoy each other.

The biggest shock the pair of you faced…

When Shaw turned up to your home one day, a baby carried and wee little dot fast asleep inside it. 

“So uh… this is Astrapí, meet your nephew,” He mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. A drunken one night stand and nine months later a baby boy had been left on his doorstep with a note, Shaw having the *Deeply hidden* gentle soul he had, raised his son with the help of Gavin and you. 

Whilst it wasn’t your own child Gavin was tending too, he knew this practise would be perfect for your baby when the time was finally right. For now, he gladly settled on being the world's best uncle. 

Lucien:

He was fascinated by human emotions, each of them so similar yet so different, all triggered by environmental factors and hormonal impulses released from the brain.

His favourite one currently was pregnancy and the female anatomy around pregnancy, the radial glow, the increased sexual appetite, the instinct to protect the life inside them at all costs. He was beyond intrigued and he wanted to find out more.

“Right, so let me get this right,” You sighed heavily shaking your head, “You want to get me pregnant so you can observe me and the whole pregnancy?”.

“It would do wonders for my research,”.

“Jesus Lucien, we’re talking about a baby here! Not some frickin lab experiment,”.

“I understand, but then the child would be an immense breakthrough with my work,”.

You literally felt your jaw drop. Was he serious? Was this lunatic, too handsome for his own good, serious?

“Lucien, a baby is something conceived out of love…”.

“I’ve already thought of this, we could extract an egg from you, fertilize it with my sperm and once developed enough we can insert it back into you,”. You literally felt dumbstruck at your boyfriends proposal. Even if, if, you considered this, there was no way that would be happening, you was at least going to get some mind-blowing sex out of it.

“No, no- that’s not what I meant, couples have children Lucien because they want to grow and start a family, not because it will ‘help with research’”. 

“So I take this as a no?”.

“Look, I don’t want kids right now Lucien and certainly not by boyfriend who purely wants one for science,”.

“What about in the future?”.

“Well that depends…”.

“What if we stay deeply in love, we produce our own child?”.

“For science?” You ask, cocking an eyebrow.

“For love,” His soft words, enveloping over your heart as you smile.

“Now that I can agree to,” Wrapping your arms around his neck as he pulls you close to his chest, savouring sweet kisses between you. 

Shaw:

Both on the same wavelength, kids could be a possibility in the extremely deep and distant future. 

However after a couple of months of dating Shaw suggests the idea of potentially moving in together.

“We could get a snake, call it Jerry or something,” His eyes glowing as he knelt down in the pet shop, taking the vivid breeds of specimens. 

“Ooh what about this one!” You squeal, as a western hognose slithered against the tank to when your finger was pointing, its tongue flickering in a slightly hiss.

“I think it likes you,” He chuckles, moving close to you.

“Well duh? Who doesn’t,” You tease, the pair of you fixated on the small reptile, slithering across the bedded rocks.

“Here we are, nice and home,” Shaw beams, placing her into the freshly set up tank, as she slithers around exploring her new surroundings. The pair of you spend the whole afternoon adoring her every movements, making little comments about what she was doing, still deciding on her name. 

“Hmm, she’s speedy, very speedy! What about ‘Blitz’?” You ask, Shaw turning to face you.

“Blitz?”.

“It means lightning with German,” You smile as a quick bolts flash over Shaw’s eyes as he nods in agreement.

“Right, well I best be off, some of us have work in the morning,” You huff, standing up and giving your new shared pet a quick goodbye as you gathered you bag.

“I’ll mis- She’ll miss you, not having another pair of eyes ogling over her and dropping a stupid amount of treats into her bowl,” He mumbles, wrapping his arms around you as you headed to the door.

“I’ll miss her too, when I next come over she better not be the size of a house!” You tease, playfully poking his chest.

“Maybe you should stay and keep an eye on her,”.

“But she has you?”.

“Yes- but- I.. ugh forget it,” He mumbles once more.

“Shaw?” You ask, admiring the slightly flustered man in front of you.

“I don’t want you to go,” He admits.

“Well, I can stay but I’ll need to head out early to get changed for work,” You smile, running a hand over his cheeks.

“No I don’t ever want you to go back home, I want- I want this to be your home, our home,” His words almost stop your heart. Shaw, your Shaw, Shaw who refused to let you know how he truly felt almost 90% of the time was asking you to move in with him.

“Forget it, it’s stupid,” He mumbles off after you don’t say anything.

“I’d like that,” You giggle, his face turning to yours as he pulls you close.

“Wait, go outside a minute,” He quickly pushes you off him as he takes his keys out of his pocket and shoves you to the door. Rolling your eyes with a laugh, you follow and wait side, hearing the door lock. “Okay now open it,” he calls out from the other side. You insert the key but it doesn’t unlock.

“You have to jiggle it,” You hear him yell as you follow his words, finally opening the door. The minute you step inside, Shaw pulls you close and wraps him around you.

“Welcome home baby,” He smirks, pressing an electrifying kiss to your lips.

Astrapí -Greek for lightening

[ladyanput]

Seeing Green Ch.10

Quick warning: there is one threat of suicide in this chapter.

''You'll always be mine, my lady…''

Marinette sat up abruptly in bed, her body drenched in a cold sweat as her breathing came out harsh and fast. She closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing, her hands tightly gripping the bed sheets. 

She forced herself to calm down. Chat- No, Adrien could not get her here. He was in jail, he didn't have his Miraculous anymore, there was no reason to panic. She was with the Waynes, they'd protect her, she'd protect herself. Adrien couldn't hurt her anymore.

Marinette opened her eyes and gazed around the large room Bruce had situated her in. It was the fanciest room she'd ever had the pleasure of staying in, with its massive size and the bathroom being almost as big as the bedroom itself. She never had a bubble bath before, but she'd taken the chance to have a nice, relaxing bath with bubbles nearly overflowing out of the tub, even though the water had stung the rope burns around her wrists.

Marinette gingerly touched her bandaged wrists, then glanced over towards her bedside table, the numbers 3:27 casting a faint green glow from the clock. Maybe some hot chocolate would help calm her down. She slid out of the plush bed and silently made her way through the labyrinth of a mansion until she reached the kitchen.

To her surprise, she found Tim sitting at the table in the center of the room, typing away on his laptop, with dark shadows visible under his eyes. Marinette eyed the coffee mug next to his laptop as she made her way into the kitchen.

"What are you doing up? Aren't you tired?" Mari made her way over to the electric kettle on the counter and quickly flipped it on when she saw it was full of water. Tim glanced up and rose a brow at the sight of the Parisian girl, then gave a wry smile.

"When you get tossed around by a man-child in a leather catsuit, you're not really up for sleeping, especially when your room is right next to Jason's and you hear some rather suggestive noises." He stated dryly, then chuckled at the sight of Marinette's face going beet red from his words. "Why are you up?"

"I… I had a nightmare." She admitted, raiding the cupboards until she found the hot chocolate powder and got to work on her hot chocolate. "I think I'll be having them for a while."

"You probably will, Angel." Damian appeared in the doorway, his hair mussed and wearing only a pair of pyjama pants that had little Robin logos all over them.  He made his way over to her and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist, drawing her close. "With what you went through, anyone would."

Marinette snuggled into her boyfriend's warm embrace and found herself with a dopey grin on her face. The nightmare seemed to fade from her mind as she felt Damian kiss her, making her shiver ever so slightly.

“Aren’t you all supposed to be asleep?” Eva stepped in, wearing only a fluffy robe. Marinette chuckled at the sight of the woman’s messy hair and general unkept appearance. “Though, I suppose I should be too.”

“Kinda hard to sleep with hearing a headboard slamming repetitively on the wall.” Tim piped up dryly, shooting the woman a withering glare as she opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water.

“Well, Tim, if you ever wanna join in, I’m more than open to it.” Eva sent him a wink, causing the boy to go red, even his ears. “Hey, sugar cookie, you okay?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Marinette met the pitiful look in Eva’s eyes and felt her gut clench. She’d have to get used to that look in everyone’s eyes for quite some time. Even Bruce and Dick had been giving her those looks the entire evening, making her feel like crumpling into a mess of tears.. But she wouldn’t do that, not to anyone, she just had to get things back to normal again, she’d have to find a new Chat Noir, get back to Paris, find Hawkmoth, and then she could just move to Gotham and be happy.

If only things were so easy.

“Your parents are already on their way.” Eva’s voice cut through the rapidly messy thoughts and Marinette quickly busied herself with making her hot chocolate, ignoring the raw guilt in her gut that began to hurt. She hadn’t called her parents the entire time she’d been in Gotham, what kind of daughter did that?

They deserved a better daughter. Paris deserved a better Ladybug. Then maybe she would have seen the signs of Chat’s unhinging, maybe she could have prevented it. Now he was sitting in a cell, all alone, and it was all her fault, because she didn’t do anything to save her partner.

She quickly noticed the silence in the room and looked up to see everyone staring at her, as if expecting a response. Marinette quickly put on a bright smile and nodded, picking up her hot chocolate.

“I can’t wait for them to get here! I want to introduce them to everyone, especially Damian. I know they’ll interrogate you, but I’m sure you’ll pass the test.” Mari kissed Damian’s cheek, then quickly headed towards the kitchen door, her heart pounding wildly in her chest now. She felt tears brimming her eyes, which only heightened her frustration as she quickly made her way back to her bedroom. Tikki was awake and waiting for her when she got there. “Oh, sorry Tikki, did I wake you?”

“No, not at all Marinette. How are you feeling?” The kwami flew over to her chosen and smiled when she smelled the sweetness of the hot chocolate. She sat on Marinette’s shoulder as the girl settled in a chair by the window, staring out at the moonlit night. “You seem very calm.”

“Of course, silly, why wouldn’t I be calm? I’m on a fantastic field trip, dating the sweetest guy on Earth, and everyone is happy!” Marinette’s tone was cheerful, but Tikki saw right through it in a snap. She had watched as Alya and Lila accused Marinette of drugging Adrien and setting him up for this entire thing, she’d watched as Caline Bustier had done nothing to try and soothe Marinette, instead she went to try and calm a cry Lila as she kept making outlandish claims. And the kwami had watched as Adrien had been hauled away in cuffs, and once he had awoken he had started screaming about him and Ladybug were soulmates.

Tikki silently wished them all the worst luck in their lives, they didn’t deserve her good graces after all they had done. She was about to say something, but a knock on the door drew Marinette away, leaving the kwami sitting on the windowsill. She watched as her chosen opened the bedroom door and could easily make out the form on Damian, smiling sadly as she saw Marinette fall into his embrace as he opened his arms.

The couple laid on her bed for quite some time, just holding onto each other in comfort. Soon the sun began peeking over the horizon, filling the room with a warm light. Damian ran a hand over his girlfriend's hair as he watched her. He had known the moment he'd seen her in the kitchen that she hadn't slept right and wasn't going to for a while.

"I'm sorry." Marinette's soft voice broke the stiff silence as she laid her head on his chest, listening to his beating heart. "I should have seen it coming. I'm the Guardian of the Miraculous, I should have known."

"Angel, you're not to blame for any of this. You did nothing wrong." He tried to assure her, planting a soft kiss on her forehead as he felt her tremble. "He took advantage of you, of your kindness. He took advantage of your forgiving nature and manipulated you and then kidnapped you. Angel, he never once called you by your name when he was arrested. He kept calling you Ladybug."

Marinette had noticed that too. She hadn't been 'Marinette' or 'princess' once during the entire kidnapping. Chat Noir had become so unhinged, he had only seen Ladybug, he had only seen the mask he had forced upon her. She shivered in disgust at the thought.

"But still, I was his partner, I should have seen this, I should have stopped it." Marinette whimpered, hugging Damian tighter. Damian, seeing her tender, forgiving heart, felt pity for her. She could not shrug this off as easily as he could.

"Nothing could have stopped that. He was sick from the very beginning, no one to teach him right from wrong." Damian slowly sat up, taking her with him. "How about today, we spar before we head to the police station?"

…

The duo was surprised to see the training room was in full swing; walking in just in time to see Evangeline being sent flying towards a pile of mats, landing in them with a heavy thud and a loud groan leaving the woman.

“You need to balance more. You won’t always have your powers as a crutch, Eva.” Kate smiled as she made her way over to the scowling T.A,  helping her stand.

“I know, I’ve just never thought I was gonna become a superhero.” Eva snorted, standing and stretching her body, clad in a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra. Her dark hair was up in a messy bun, giving anyone looking the sight of the bruises and bite marks along her skin. Her vividly purple eyes landed on Marinette and she beamed. “Good morning, sugar cookie!”

“Oh… Um, good morning. Are you training too?” Marinette smiled, though she fiddled gently with the zipper of her hoodie, feeling a bit unsure as she saw the entire Wayne family was there. She watched as Dick did chin ups, Bruce beating up a very abused punching bag, and Jason pumping iron.  She nervously gulped. “I can do this another time, it’s okay.” 

“Hey, I wanna see what you’ve got.” Kate spoke up, stepping onto the exercise mat as Eva took a seat on one of the benches off to the side. “You’ve been a hero for a while, I’m sure you’d want a bit more training, so you won’t always be dependent on your magic, right? Maybe go up against Cass here? Just an easy sparring round, whoever gets pinned first loses.”

Marinette eyed Cass’s body carefully, seeing the strong muscle and amazing power in that sleek body of hers. Wordlessly, Marinette nodded and shrugged off her hoodie, not noticing as Damian tried not to swallow his tongue.

Marinette was no longer that slim, shy fifteen year old she had been when she had first become Ladybug. She had trained herself to become strong, to become the hero Paris deserved. She was still rather short, but she had certainly grown,  her sports bra straining ever so slightly against her chest, her arms flexing to show off the strong muscle, and Damian could see the powerful muscle in her thighs, and her abs… Well, they just made Damian feel weak in the knees.

He shook his head, blushing in shame. The girl had just been kidnapped and assaulted yesterday, yet here he was ogling her. He cleared his throat and took a seat beside Jason, ignoring his brother's playful nudge.

Cass and Marinette took their starting stances, then went at each other when Bruce signalled for them to begin.

They both fought hard, many watching as one dodged blows from the other, though it was clear to everyone, even Marinette herself, that Cass was the superior fighter here. Not surprising, as she had been raised to be the ultimate killing machine, just like Damian. But it was Cass who came out on top when she managed to kick Marinette's feet out from under her and pinned her down in seconds. The Waynes clapped and whistled.

"You did quite well against a trained assassin." Damian commented casually as he made his way over and helped Marinette to her feet. "Your center is a bit off, amongst other things. But we can help you train, Angel, get better. Trust me, it will help you."

Marinette grinned and nodded, then felt herself blush as Damian took her hand and walked with her to where most of the equipment was held. The family watched the duo, before exchanging looks.

"They've got it bad." Jason grinned as he saw the looks the two were sending each other when the other wasn't looking. "It's like a couple of lovestruck puppies."

Bruce chuckled softly at the sight of his son coming out of his shell around the French girl. While his son had outgrown that bratty part of him that had come out as a result of becoming an adult far too soon, he was still a recluse with his emotions. But seeing him smile so brilliantly, though it was directed at Marinette, made Bruce feel content.

He couldn't wait for grandchildren.

And one hour of punching a punching bag with Chat Noir's face taped to it, with the poor bag sadly beaten to a messy pulp on the gymnasium floor by everyone in the room, they made their way down into the Bat Cave. The entire group of vigilantes suited up, before turning towards Eva and Marinette, then eyeing the jewelry they wore.

"So those turn you into your superhero selves?" Tim spoke up, skeptically eyeing the necklace dangling from Eva's neck.

"Yes, they allow us Kwami to lend our chosen our powers." Tikki smiled, sitting promptly on Marinette's shoulder. It felt nice not having to be always in a purse or jacket around these people, it felt so freeing. "Marinette is by far my strongest Ladybug yet. She can handle immense power, she's worn several Miraculous at once."

Okay, now it sounded like she was bragging, which she rightfully deserved with all she had put up with. 

"And I finally have a kit." Trixx piped up, warmly nuzzling Eva's cheek. Marinette blinked in surprise when Eva and Trixx looked their way, their eyes both the same shades of vivid purple. "And it's all thanks to Marinette that I found her. Alya was a good fox, but her versions of the truth are… Misguided."

Marinette didn't comment, feeling an ache in her heart at the memory of her broken friendship. All of her class was back at the hotel with Miss Bustier, many of them shaken by their experiences in Gotham. It would certainly be a trip to remember for the Parisian group, especially for the likes of Nino.

Nino. Marinette cursed under her breath and turned towards Eva. 

"Nino broke up with Alya and apologized to me." Marinette blurted out before she could stop herself. "I want him back as Carapace."

"Are you sure about that Marinette?" Eva crossed her arms and seemed to ponder the outburst carefully. "He didn't protect you or side with you for how many years? Given, he wanted to remain loyal to his girlfriend, but still. I would go rushing back towards anyone who's asked for forgiveness, Marinette. They deserve your anger and mistrust for what a lot for them did to you, especially Nino. You told me you'd known him since you were little kids, remember? He should have known you the best and been there for you."

Marinette was quiet after that, not paying attention to the others listening in on their conversation. After a few minutes, she let out a defeated sigh. 

"I'm sorry, I am just… Everything is messy in my head. I just want everything to be normal again." Marinette closed her eyes and rested her head against Eva, who hugged her gently.

"Things won't ever be normal again, sugar cookie, I'm sorry. Maybe we should look into getting you a therapist." That got everyone staring at Eva. "What, surely you guys have someone you can talk about the traumatized shit you guys have been through, right? You don't just go around with this baggage weighing you down and tormenting you."

She was greeted with silence. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped.

"Jesus fuck, guys, that isn't healthy! That can fucking destroy your mental health!" 

"I can contact Black Canary." Batman spoke up, looking uncomfortable under the woman's harsh, judgmental gaze. "I mean, she's a trained therapist, I go to her from time to time because… Because she understands because she's also a hero."

"Finally, someone with some sense." Eva grumbled, before setting her hands on her hips. "Marinette is going to see her, understand? No arguments, no complaints."

No one said a word, until Dick cleared his throat.

"Shall we head to the police station so that Ladybug can give her statements?" Nightwing stated uncomfortably, as Eva transformed into Lady Vixen, resulting in a wolf whistle from Red Hood. 

"Yeah, let's go." Marinette transformed, then smiled over at Robin. "Hopefully you can behave yourself there."

"Why should I? I still wanna skin him alive." Robin growled softly, his hand resting on the handle of his sword. 

"I'd rather you not commit murder, please?" Ladybug begged softly, giving him a sweet smile. "I have more kisses for you if you behave."

Robin snorted and shook his head, motioning her towards his bike. 

"Let's just go, before I turn soft on the guy who kidnapped you and held you against your will." He said dryly.

Ladybug smiled, but when she turned her back to everyone, tears brimmed her eyes.

…

The police station was a flurry of activity, the usual for a city full of supervillains and roaming vigilantes.

Ladybug smiled once Batman pointed out Commissioner Gordon, making her way towards him and shaking his hand.

"Hello Commissioner, it's lovely to meet you. I heard there was an incident of a girl getting kidnapped because it was thought she was me." Ladybug smiled sadly, being led into Gordon's office. "I am sorry for the inconveniences that were caused."

"Adrien Agreste did kidnap a girl, yes, saying she was you. We got her statement and she is staying someplace safe, don't you worry." The commissioner assured her, then crossed his arms, looking thoughtful. "He keeps shouting about he is Chat Noir, miss Ladybug. I don't really know about who you are, but Batman informed me that you are heroes in Paris?"

"Yes, we've been keeping the entire situation in Paris tight lipped due to safety reasons." Ladybug spoke up quickly, her face looking grim. "And I will admit, the entire situation is rather messy."

"Was he Chat Noir, this other hero that he's been ranting about?" Gordon met her gaze. Ladybug didn't say a word, but the look in her eyes spoke volumes. He knew exactly why she was there."I see… Would you like to talk to him? I can give you a few minutes, if you'd like."

"I'd appreciate that, thank you." Ladybug smiled sadly. She was here to say goodbye to her partner, and also hopefully to stop any spread of her identity, if he were to go back to Paris. She could only hope.

Gordon guided Ladybug and Lady Vixen into an interrogation room, while Robin, Red Hood, and Batman watched with the commissioner on the other side of the glass.

Adrien was lead in, dark shadows under his eyes, his hair messy and greasy, and a look of distaste crossing his face once he caught sight of Vixen, though it brightened at the sight of Ladybug.

"My lady, you're here! Thank goodness, you finally see reason and you're here to get me out! Then we can go back to Paris, right?" Adrien grinned, not even fazed as he was roughly shoved into the chair across the table from the heroines.

"No, Chat Noir, I'm here because I heard you were terrorizing a poor girl, thinking she was me." Ladybug scowled as she crossed her arms, trying her hardest not to tremble as his eyes, eyes such a vibrant color of green, met hers. "Marinette was in tears when she told me everything."

"Don't be silly, Ladybug, I know you're her. I saw you with your kwami the other night." Adrien soon got a dreamy smile on his face, gazing up at the heroine. "You have such a lovely figure, my lady, you've really worked hard."

It took everything in Ladybug not to spew the bile that rose in her throat, but she held it all down.

"Marinette was feeding my kwami cookies, Adrien. I had to go to that warehouse and help Batman and the others save her from you, remember?" Ladybug snapped, feeling her fury rise in her chest. "You have been acting out a lot over the years, but this takes the cake! You're lucky I managed to get her out of that warehouse while Lady Vixen distracted you!"

Adrien then focused his eyes on the silent fox that was leaning back against the two way mirror. Her fox ears flicked ever so slightly as she caught him staring. She merely grinned, showing off the sharp fangs in her mouth.

"What happened to Rena Rouge?" Adrien glared, crossing his arms and hunching his shoulders. "She's a much better fox."

"You're changing the subject, Adrien. You did horrible things to Marinette, you think you're owed my love, when I've told you time and time again that I love someone else!" Ladybug's voice rose an octave as she grew more furious, but then she took a deep breath and stepped back. He couldn't hurt her. Looking at him, she could clearly see he was delusional, he wasn't worth her guilt, her tears. "I'm done with you, Adrien. You're not worth my time."

It was as if reality had finally struck the Agreste boy. He teared up and got to his feet, though her couldn't move far thanks to being cuffs to the table 

"No, my lady, please! I love you so much, we're soulmates! I can't live without you!" Adrien's eyes welled with tears as he struggled to get to her. "Please, Ladybug, please! You're my lady and I'm your loyal knight."

"Let's go, Ladybug. He's not worth this." Vixen set a hand the small of Ladybug's back, carefully guiding her out. But just as they were about to step out, Adrien let out a scream.

"I'll kill myself if I can't be with you, Ladybug!"

That made Ladybug and Lady Vixen freeze. The guilt swamped the former like a tidal wave, guilt and shame rushing over her as she fought back a sob as she looked back at him. This was all her fault, she had hurt him this deeply. She couldn't hurt him anymore, she-

Lady Vixen stormed her way up to Adrien and grabbed him by the throat. She ripped his cuffs from the table and slammed him so hard against the glass, many webs of cracks covered it.

"You do NOT ever fucking say that to anyone ever, you abusive, selfish, manipulative piece of SHIT!" Vixen got right in his face, baring her fangs and hissing, appearing like a feral wild animal. "I should tear out your vocal cords right here and string them up your ass so you can keep talking shit!"

"Vixen!" Batman rushed into the room and pulled the fox off of the teen, sending Adrien sprawled across the floor with bleeding scratch marks at his throat. "That's enough!"

"No, he's not going to manipulate her like that! You don't guilt and scare someone into a relationship, you low life!" Vixen screamed at Adrien as she was dragged out of the room and the precinct.

Once outside, Batman set her down, but grasped her shoulders in a bruising grip.

"You crossed a line. You don't threaten a perp like that, that could cause legal action against you, or worse; make the public see you as an unhinged sociopath." He growled at her, giving her a firm shake. But Vixen was too busy hyperventilating. When she looked up, her pupils had become thin slits and tears brimmed her eyes.

"Doll?" Red Hood stepped forward, a hand reaching out for her. Vixen slapped his hand away and darted off into the night.

"Just let her go." Ladybug spoke up, sadness strong in her tone, though she would later regret that decision. "Just give her some space. Let's go home? Please? I just… I want to forget everything that happened in there."

As the night went on, an orange mist began to spread through the city, emanating from a frantic, hyperventilating heroine.

Taglist:  @realrandomposts @interobanginyourmom @ladybug-182 @ladylb @zalladane @mochinek0 @persephonebutkore @urbanpineapplefarmer @vixen-uchiha @angelofmusickaterinapetrova @thewheezingbubbledragon @northernbluetongue @violatiger8 @thequestionablyhuman @ginamarie1512 @maude-zarella @2sunchild2 @saphiraazure2708 @ayuchan07 @virgil-is-a-cutie @thepeacetea @mindfulmagics

[purplesurveys]

1248

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say?  I feel like I’ve answered a similar situation recently, but I would assume it was a drunk text or wrong text, inform them about it, and move on.

Do you play video games?  Nah. I do feel a sort of connection of video games since I grew up surrounded by them, though; but I’m more of a watcher than anything. I like watching playthroughs of video games I’ll never play. Do you spend a lot of time with family?  No. We used to, back when the quarantine was still a relatively new thing – we hung out in the living room all the time. But now that we’ve settled in this new normal, we’re back to our normal routines and I usually like staying in my room.

Is your house more than two stories tall?  Technically, yes. We have a rooftop that serves as the ‘third’ floor.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you?  My ex and I never hit one another; that’s a gigantic red flag even I would notice, considering I ignored most of the ones I saw hahaha.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!)  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to answer this question directly, but I like my generosity. I’m not sure if I can call it attractive, though. But if we were focusing on physical features, I like my smile.

What color is your hairbrush/comb?  Pink.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm?  My dad splurged on chips in his last grocery run so we actually have quite a lot of junk food in the pantry at the moment. He also bought several packs of cookie sandwiches, wafers, sunflower seeds, and garlic-flavored peanuts.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive?  Neither.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged?  No, she’s just a good friend of mine.

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you?  I guess I don’t, because I’m not even aware of them.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female?  Guy. It was another reporter, so I just ignored it and luckily he didn’t PM me just to ask to add him back, which others have already done. I really hate when work people try to make their way into my personal accounts.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you?  My parents, especially when they are rude to service crew. Gen X-ers are impeccably talented at that, apparently.

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate?  Around two or three weeks ago when I had dinner at Angela’s. Her dad gave me a bar of Crunch so I can have something sweet after our meal.

Do you play any games on Facebook?  No, I never did hop on that trend.

What would you like to get a degree in?  I wanted a degree in journalism, and graduated with such. At the end of my college stint I didn’t want to pursue it anymore, but I pushed through with it anyway because it was too much of a hassle to shift and start all over.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Technically not, because I stay up until the middle of the night anyway. It’s been a while since I fell asleep anywhere between 8 to 10 PM.

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game?  Watch a show.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater?  I don’t like either; I get fries instead.

What genre of films do you like the best?  Drama.

How many bank accounts do you have?  Two but I haven’t been using the other one in months. That was the bank account I initially opened when I first started ~adulting~ but when I got employed I was required to enroll in this other specific bank, so that’s what I mainly use now.

Have you ever had the flu?  Not really. I just get the occasional fever that pop out of nowhere.

What is your goal for the next few months?  Start saving FOR REAL, and also prioritizing furniture over merch for a while so I can finally fix up my room, which is quickly starting to look and feel like just a warehouse and not very homey at all.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life?  Nope.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience.  Yeah, it was from barbecue that apparently went bad, even though it tasted nothing of the sort. I woke up at 3 AM sweating profusely and with the most excruciating stomachache; I was feeling hot, cold, and nauseous all at the same time, and it probably lasted for like an hour or so.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for?  Sealed albums and my pets’ vet expenses.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex.  Charming and smart.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it?  It felt nice to help people.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? Good question; I’ve never encountered this before. I would let her live a more comfortable, privileged life, where she didn’t have to staple her shoes to keep them closed or have to choose between eating at a fast food restaurant or being able to commute back home.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I’m not sure, actually. Everyone’s always slightly taller than me.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you?  I haven’t.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see?  Tumblr, I guess? My survey blog isn’t for any irls to see.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping?  I don’t really do either often, but I’ll go with mopping.

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious?  Not for me.

Did you pull a senior prank?  No, that’s not a thing here. Did you graduate?  Yeah, elementary, high school, and college.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship?  Nope.

What was the last song you listened to?  It’s a song called Epiphany.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision?  Not ever since I was like 9 lol.

Is fashion one of your interests?  I’m way more interested in it now for sure, mostly because the celebrities I’m into these days put a lot of effort when it comes to their style; so it makes me more aware of the trends that come and go, as well.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone?  I’m keeping it as a possibility, but it’s not a priority for me now.

Do you care what people think?  To an extent, I would say. My life doesn’t depend on it, though.

Is acting something you enjoy?  Never been.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained?  Do you mean a thing or a body part? Anyway, I’ll answer both. The last thing I broke was my BTS Mic Drop pen of V looooooooooool the figurine came off the pen :(( It was pretty cheap though so I’m fine with it; I can always get another one. Last body part I sprained was my ankle, when I had a bad fall a couple of years ago.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours?  Either hasn’t happened.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language?  I don’t think so.

Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at?  Angela’s. Also JM’s, just because their family doesn’t hover and that vibe can sometimes be nice whenever I’m at someone else’s place.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you?  Never.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? Not as a very young kid, but I took up table tennis starting when I was 12. Did you ever watch the show Full House?  Nope.

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry?  Now that’s just delusional haha. I’m pretty obsessed with some celebrities, that much I can admit; but thinking of them in the context of marriage is so many steps overboard.

Have you ever burned someone’s picture?  No. I could, but I am scared of fire and will probably just think of other ways to express my anger, like tearing up the photograph. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on?  Total length was probably like 3 hours. I haven’t gone too far when it comes to hiking.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo?  Not interested.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Hans.

Do your parents smoke cigarettes?  My mom tried it once in her life, I think. My dad has never smoked.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it?  “Hope right here!”

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want.  Anything that’s supposed to roam freely in the wild, like squirrels.

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller?  Taller, since I’m already quite pint-sized to begin with lol.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. < Agree, especially with the eras. Childhood photos are always fun to look at, but I have had to delete a CHUNK of photos from years ranging from 2014 to 2020 because I’ve lost a handful of friends from that period.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people?  It’s hard to for the most part, but I’ve noticed very few people people really don’t. Most of the time it’s bullshit though.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in?  That it’s pretty close to the metro.

What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during?  Hmm, I prefer TV shows if I’m craving comedy.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during?  Life Is Beautiful.

What’s your favorite restaurant?  Omakase for my sushi fix; School Tteokbokki if I want Korean; Yabu if I’m looking for a generous rice meal.

Is there a dessert you don’t like?  Anything with fruits.

Favorite album?  After Laughter by Paramore.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it?  I can name authors instead of books – John Green and Haruki Murakami.

Underwater or outer space?  Outer space.

Dogs or cats?  Dogs.

Kittens or puppies?  Puppies.

Bird watching or whale watching?  Whale watching. I don’t get to be in the water as much, so I would jump at the opportunity.

What is your spirit animal?  I dunno if I have one but let’s just go with dog and elephant, I guess? They’re my favorites.

What was your best subject in school?  History.

What was your worst subject in school?  Chemistry.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school?  Don’t waste your time.

Who is your fashion icon?  Audrey Hepburn.

Diamonds or pearls?  Diamonds.

What color dress did you wear to prom?  For my own prom it was cream-colored/beige. When I went to Mike’s ball, I went with a royal blue gown.

What’s your favorite plot-twist?  I don’t think I’ve found my favorite yet.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?  Not actively.

Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?  I dunno...road rage, maybe?

Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad?  It’s very likely.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out?  Sometime in the last week.

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? No thanks.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call?  Nope.

Who are you closest to?  Angela.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience?  No, all the ones I’ve been to have been amazing experiences.

Are you currently sad about anything?  Not really. I can’t complain.

Have you had any form of exercise today?  Nah.

Can you handle blood?  Nope, I will feel faint if I see it 100%.

Has any place hired you underage for a job?  No.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon?  I haven’t.

Are you currently searching for a job?  No, I like the one I have.

Does eating breakfast make you sick?  No?

[tosikoarts]

SFW Alphabet | Mihael Keehl

You can check tosikowrites tag for more! Warning: there’s a lot under the cut.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

The most straightforward among main three of Wammy’s boys. His interpretation of own feelings is excellent and he makes sure everybody around knows about them. If he hates you, you’ll feel a burning hole in your back whether it is because of intense staring or literal bullet. If he loves you, you’ll be surrounded by abundance of affection.

When it comes to person he loves, Mello is very vocal. Words do matter, they oblige you and put responsibility on your shoulders. That’s why he loves to brag about his dearest to the closest friends, and even acquaintances know about this one special person. Another important thing is nickname, which Mello chooses based on the brightest features of character/appearance. Baby, honey, dearest are common too but he feels that  they deserve exceptional treatment and exceptional nickname.

He absolutely loves physical affection. Skin to skin contact gives him weird sensation right in the head as if he can physically feel neurons releasing dopamine. It also helps with keeping his anxiety under control.

By the way, sometimes inferiority complex gets the best of him, and in these moments he is extremely capricious. For the same reason Mello may act like his loved one deserves everything, while he can go with bare minimum.

He is great at reassurances. The second he realizes his loved one is insecure, upset, lost, the gears in his head start zealously turning. The words he uttered are always spoken in the right tone and able to touch the necessary strings of the soul. At the same time Mello always has doubts in the efforts made.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Friendship with Mello carries spirit of 80s-90s. It’s a wild ride he once invited you to and then you couldn’t get off. Stuff gets messy, stuff gets hot, but it doesn’t matter until you both have fun.

He will roast you so much and will never get offended if you roast him in response. Mello aims for a good laugh only. His favorite entertainment is to go shopping together just to critic each other’s outfits.

You better move that body when he drags you on the dance-floor. Blasting music and colorful lights make him feel like a fish in the water so Mello will try to teach you dance. Yes, from the easiest ones to Michael Jackson’s moonwalk.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddles are essential for relationship with Mello. He enjoys snuggle up to his loved one on calm evenings, when there’s nothing to disturb the peace. Warmness of loved one’s head on his chest and smell of their skin calm him down better than chamomile-mint tea. He loves to listen to the sound of another person’s heartbeat as well.

Mello has one pet peeve tho: frequent head pats and hair stroking lead to greasy hair and this is exactly what he hates. If they put hand on his beautiful blond locks, he will take them by the finger and place their palm on his lips. This is a small but very loud gesture.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

The thought of settling down     never popped up in his head. Mello is way too young, he wants to live his     life to the maximum without thinking about another dirty plate in the sink     or how long it takes to make boiled eggs. Based on this you can say he     doesn’t like to do any housework. His cooking skills are decent but he     prefers creative mess to boring order. Mello likes to help someone in     kitchen when he is in the good mood.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Nervous type he is, Mello doesn’t want to end this relationship. But he has to. But he can’t. He is indecisive and hesitates on the way to them. Hell, if they are in good mood or overly excited, Mello won't say a word about break up. In his mind it has to be like pulling a tooth – painful but necessary, - but real life doesn’t work that way. When the moment finally comes he cannot keep his voice steady. Mello tries to end it as fast as possible and hold back a scream because yelling at his loved one is something he promised he’ll never do. Actually, I can see him doing something impulsive to blow off steam. Breaking random stuff, for example, or shooting bottles.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

No. Getting married is too much. He can’t see wedding bells ring no matter how hard he tries. Every day he becomes more confident in thought that strong sincere relationship do not need bureaucracy in the form of marriage. The only time you need a marriage certificate is during the divorce process. Mello isn’t 100% sure but pretty close to this percentage. If his loved one insists on marriage he will immerse in conflicting feelings. Then his next actions will depend on many factors but Mello definitely will try to explain his  position and convince them in its     validity.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Mello is on the rougher side when it comes to both physical and emotional affection. Childhood in the orphanage, involvement with the mafia, psychological issues, and responsibility placed on his shoulders taught it is necessity to be tough to survive in this world. When he lets his guard down nasty inner voice keeps reminding Mello about situations in which it could be a critical mistake. This leads us to the next point.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Here he comes, another  touched-starved male with trust issues. Mello needs time to get used to soft touch of other’s person hands. Sometimes he puts too much strength in his hugs and it may come across a little rough. Likes them anyway, takes initiative 90% of the time.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It completely and entirely depends on his gut feeling. Something elusive tells him whether to trust a person or not, it’s not a rational decision. As soon as this strange sensation appears, he will immediately calmly utter three treasured words, and it’s not even so important for him to hear them in return. Mello just wants another person to know that they have become an integral part of his life.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

In addition to being easily jealous, Mello is scary as hell when someone is hitting on his loved one. If he witness such insolence, he will be extremely vocal and, well, unexpectedly rude. He is not afraid to get physical too.

If it’s his loved one who is acting flirtatious, Mello will be pissed off as well. His feelings are explosive mix of disappointment, anger, malcontent. It’s better to get off his way and let him cool a little before trying to explain anything or make excuses. In a fit of jealous rage he may say some terrible things which he’ll regret later.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

The most passionate kisser imaginable. He loves to kiss and he knows how to do it properly so why would you complain. He tends to forget about personal boundaries in process so make out sessions can get really… touchy. Anyway, loves to shower his loved one with kisses all over them, but lip smooches are his favorite. At the same time Mello doesn’t care where they kiss him because of solid fact he is being kissed.  

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He is so awkward. Calm/gentle/kind children are ok, but if he has to deal with angry little shit who throws tantrum whenever possible, he will flip out. Being around his own children is more or less bearable but don’t expect much when it’s someone else's kids annoying poor man. Mello definitely will teach his favorite one all of the swear words as a joke.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

On a free day no matter who wakes up first you will spend another hour in the bed cuddling. Then life will pour cold water on you when Mello gets frustrated with making breakfast. This may grow into small quarrel but most of the time he pulls himself together and you two find a satisfying compromise. During breakfast on work week you rarely hear any plans for the day from him but he stays curious about your schedule just to see if he can catch you for a lunch or a short call. Nothing special, really.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Night is his favorite time of the day. Neon signs, coolness, slight buzz of a big city work as a charm on Mello, he feels free from people’s staring, empty chatter, and daily duties. If he could show the world as he sees it to his loved one, at least approximate image, dim reflections of pale moon in the high-rises’ glass, he would. So to do it he takes them on late night walks and rides, new places every time.  

Cafes and restaurants are another of his weaknesses, not only pastry shops, but also small diners with food that would seem boring to many. Take-outs are frequent too because chilling under the lilac sky and stargazing with Mello are 10 out of 10.

Don't let yourself be fooled, he likes to stay inside as much. Thanks to Matt, you’ll spend most of the time playing video-games and drinking pop until one of you starts yawning.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Mello is straightforward within adequate limits. You wouldn’t expect person to blur out “I hunt a Kira with my genius rival that works with FBI and Japanese Police” at any point of your movie night anyway, right? He does not pretend and does not resort to excessive secrecy but prefers to reveal facts about himself one by one.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Quickly gets angry, quickly cools down. Sadly, he his emotions are too strong and he does not know how to handle them and it often ends in heated argument. Even during a quarrel he feels his actions are hurting you but it’s not something he can stop at the click of a finger. After everything has settled down he is extremely remorseful and tried to make amends but Mello never ever promises to change. Why you make ask? In that case actions speak louder than words.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Remembers the stupidest things. He can’t remember any important dates like the day you started dating but will remind you about the most embarrassing thing you did in high school. Hell, he forgets your number sometimes but can describe the exact clothes you wore on that rainy day when car splashed you.

Unknown forces help Mello in choosing a birthday present. He has no clue what you wanted and if you wanted anything at all. Surprisingly, it always hits the mark.

Tried to write down “important” stuff about you once. Failed miserably. Decided to never do it again.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time when they confessed their love to him since Mello rewound this moment in his head like a hundred times. He remembers what color sky was and what song was playing on the background and those little details made this moment more beautiful than the masterpieces of the Louvre. Joy overwhelmed him and he couldn’t get this picture off his head for a few days too.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Not that paranoid protective and obviously doesn’t need to be protected However, he will be fluttered if person showed that they care. He will freak put if they don’t answer his calls or messages for hours and in the case of real danger he will take that gun and shoot someone as a warning.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts more effort in the beginning of relationship and its amount slowly declines with time. The closer he gets, the less he needs to try to cover up his sharp edges and imperfections or try to distract person with some kind of mask, mannerism, maneuver. Playing nice in early stages of dating gives him chance to throw the bait, to show he is able to be that datable material. A completely different question is whether a person wants to stay with him in spite of his inner demons.

Mello likes to surprise them with something special on anniversaries. Expect romantic late night motorcycle ride, car dates with take-out, and, of course, gifts. He likes to make/buy a presents person will like, something they wanted for a long time but couldn’t afford.

Acts extra-extra after anger tantrums. He knows he fucked up, okay, he just can’t control himself. Yes, it’s a lot easier to cover up consequences with huge bouquet and box of chocolates than to correct behavior learned over the years.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

If you ever had to deal with person stubborn as a donkey, you’ve seen demo-version of Mello’s behavior. Making compromises is not his strategy, so get ready for “this is the only right option”, “I said what I said”, “Yeah, go ahead, I’ll do it my way”. He immediately begins to sulk and spill his sassiness all over the place if things don’t go his way.

Doubtful impulsive decisions are most likely the cause of constant arguing and problem mentioned above. At first he does something (to say the least) stupid with impressive confidence. Then, after hours or days, his brains finally comes up with reasonable arguments but now it’s too late to back out.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

It’s obvious Mello likes to take care of himself. His sense of style is indisputable, he sticks to it and never fails to embellish the picture with shiny jewelry or other accessories. There may be dirt on his leather boots and soot on fur hood but they only complete his conceived image.

Probably has one company from which he buys all the hair care products. Feeling of easy combing through smooth silky hair before bed is another of his a little happiness.

How does he have such perfect face despite eating chocolate everyday? Mello is fond of beauty creams, masks, serums, and he doesn’t allow a single pimple ruin his day. Also, he uses different healing creams to soften the scars.

He would love to mess around with loved one trying new beauty products. There’s nothing better than taking care of each other.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes, yes, yes. It doesn’t matter why they are not in his life anymore, he feels devastated. All attempts to distract himself fail as he goes back to thinking about them every five-ten minutes, and not only thinking but overthinking. Sometimes his thoughts throw him back to the past, first meeting, first kiss, and it gnaws Mello even more.

If they left for some reason, he will try to get them back. A chance meeting in the evening is completely planned, he also rehearsed his lines in the head more than a thousand times just to stay calm and avoid going off on tangent.  

If they died, he will attend their grave for a few months. It doesn’t help much. He becomes incredulous and gloomy, scaring everyone around with frequent mood swings and defiant behavior. I can see him growing more actively aggressive and acting like he doesn’t have anything to lose too.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Because of his chocolate addiction, Mello has to visit dentist’s office quite frequently. The problem is he hates dentists and everything about them. The sound of a dental drill makes his skin crawl.

Mello can pull off any style, rock any outfit. He can dress up in trash bag and be fabulous as always. You can splash that man with the dirtiest water and he will still shine bright like a diamond. Unholy beauty.

He was that kid that got the highest score on Facebook picky sheet. He hates broccoli, never eats mushrooms, avoids pickles. Name any controversial food – he doesn’t eat it.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Mello can deal with pushy people but manipulators drive him nuts. As soon as he notice the smallest attempt to manipulate him, he will lash out. So you have to be the master manipulator to twist him around your finger or the batshit crazy person to pull an obvious manipulation on him.

Absence of communication. He won’t play mind games and try to guess your thoughts, so you better speak out your mind.

Oh, Mello doesn’t want a person who nods to everything he says. Sharing personal opinions plays a big role in relationships and he won’t agree to lose such way to connect.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Mello sticks to adequate sleeping schedule. His lifestyle forces him to break it from time to time but he quickly makes up for sleepless nights. He doesn’t even get moody or irritated. On the contrary, his reactions slow down, and the only thing he is interested in is comfortable bed.

Speaking of comfort, Mello likes to wrap himself in fluffy blankets. The more pillows there are around him, the better his mood will be in the morning.

Dark chocolate rich in magnesium can help you sleep better so Mello prefers switch from milk chocolate to dark in the evening. It is not uncommon to find a wrapper foil on the nightstand in his bedroom.

[sincerelyreidburke]

Sorry, me again, i wanted to add this to the previous post but ran out of space, anyway, my last questions would be: Would Will be sad he doesn't understand technology enough to be as good as a handyman as he was during the 60s? Or would that only motivate him to learn faster and be a master of fixing again? and last (sorry for the amount of question), what kind of work does he get in 2021? was getting legal papers (ID, brth certificate, etc) and stuff hard?

Thank you for such good questions! And also, don’t be sorry! I promise, it’s always okay— I really, really, really love receiving asks🤍🤍🤍🤍

So let’s hop under the cut for this one, and I’ll address each of these in turn!! (Ask me anything about love finds you Dex in 2021!)

- I think technology is definitely a learning curve at first. I can’t even imagine the culture shock of coming from the 60s and landing in the 21st century, where everything is high-speed, there are screens everywhere, and the world is built around instant gratification which usually depends on technology. You see him freak out about a cell phone alone in the second-to-last chapter of lfy, so you can imagine that it takes a lot of adjusting when he realizes just how different technology is in Derek’s time.

- But. I think about canon Dex being a compsci major, and I feel like the way this would reflect in lfy Dex is that, like you said, his lack of knowledge about modern technology motivates him to learn about it so that he can be helpful and handy the way he always was back home. I also think that he’s a really fast learner, all things considered.

- So basically, before all that long, once he gets settled in and adjusted, he’s back to being able to fix things the way he was before. (See him rigging an aux cord connection in his super old truck so that Derek can play his music. And yes, he hangs onto that truck for as long as he can. He keeps it in ship shape, and it’s really important to him.)

- His first 2021 job is... wait for it......... at a diner. In New York City. I keep meaning to write a ficlet about this to more thoroughly introduce you all to the concept and situation, but at the end of the day, serving is what’s most familiar to him, and it also is one of the jobs that’s changed the least over the past sixty years. Living in the city, he gets really restless without a job pretty quickly, and he wants to go back to work. This little diner that reminds him of Annie’s winds up being a good place to make a small living, and to entertain himself during the days.

- In Good Haven, because they do live there part-time, I... am actually not sure yet what he does. I think he keeps up the town handyman thing, although 2021 Good Haven probably has a mechanic or something by that point. Maybe, actually, he goes and works for that business, in the summers. He could also help with landscaping or basically any kind of hands-on manual labor.

- I don’t necessarily think Will has ‘a career’ the way Derek has one. The future, career wise, looks basically the same for Derek in any of my fic: after he gets his PhD in literature or English or something else very Derek Nurse-ish, he winds up working in the publishing industry alongside being a published author. He’s probably an editor. He has an office, but his job is flexible and allows him to work from home some of the time. He’ll do speaking events, book tours, and the occasional guest lecture at a college. It’s very academic and literary, and he loves every second of it.

- So there’s that. But back to Will. I don’t really think he ever makes a career in this AU the way I imagine him making a career in compsci in the CCU. Instead, I think he just works the same kinds of jobs all his life that he was accustomed to as a young adult in the 50s and 60s. He’s definitely the kind of employee who will still be working a diner bar at the age of fifty, and all his regulars love him.

- When, eventually, they retire to Good Haven, in the way-far future of their lives together, Will works on the farm again.

- Anyway. To answer your last question as well: yes, I think getting legal papers was difficult for him, but a factor in this which I’ve only hinted at so far is: Derek’s parents. There are hints at the end of the story that heavily imply he’s going to get back in touch with them, and here’s essentially what happens: they reconcile after all their difficult history, and there’s a lot to mend and make up for, but...

- Since his parents are so well-to-do, and they see that their son is happy, and they hear his story and believe him, they wind up helping Will get legal papers.

- I also can imagine that Will gets a little legal help from the time travel magic. Here I go again with the magic thing. But this is not a very real-world realistic story in the first place, so are we surprised?

Thank you so much for all your great questions!! I welcome them all, and any more you may come up with. :D