#depictions of animal violence

[kimdokjas]

We are alive. And we will continue living. So long as you remain by my side.

[aftgficrec]

Hi! Thanks so much for doing this i have wanting to catch you open for so long!! How are you? I hope you have a good day!

I was wondering if there were any fics focused on neil and mary/neil and Nathan? Like his emotions, thoughts, etc, and the things he went through bcs of them/how they still affect him even now? Thank you so much in advance!

Our poor traumatized Neil! Yes, there is much to explore on this topic. -A

most previous asks lead to more recs:

angsty bad days for Neil here

Neil with ptsd here

more Neil with DID here

Neil cries, comforted by Andrew/foxes here

Neil says ‘it’s fine I’ve had worse’ here

Neil’s scars 2 here

scars and healing here

Neil goes to therapy here 

Neil attempts suicide here

‘You're Wonderful’ here

‘Hold My Hand?,’ ‘I'll Still Solve You,’ and ‘Fear (but not of you)’ here

‘The Books of Baltimore’ series: ‘Ghost of You’ here, ‘Run to You’ here

‘the upswing’ (completed), ‘please (don't bite),’ ‘Will you love me for who I am…’ ‘To be safe,’ ‘Safe with him,’ and ‘i called your name ‘til the fever broke’ here 

‘my friends and I…,’ ‘Pasts Intertwined,’ ‘My Stomach is a Wasteland,’ ‘side effects may vary’ ‘Bad Apple,’ and ‘You Are So Much More Than Your Father's Son’ here 

‘Medicated rabbits don't run as fast’ here

‘Broken Symmetries’ and ‘No More Fucks To Give’ (updated) here

‘24 Floors’ here

‘A Quiet Little Seedling,’ ‘If I Knew You,’ and ‘Step By Step’ here

‘slow down (you crazy child),’ ‘Make a Home’ (updated), and ‘make me a promise’ here

‘Dreamed in red’ here

‘...Just Us, and Y(our) Friend Kevin’ here 

‘Nothing Mattered Until You’ here (jeanneil)

amputation or permanent leg damage:

Neil's legs (the fucked up edition) here and here

Neil dies/amputations in Baltimore here

‘La jetée n'est plus loin’ here

‘I’m More Than This Body of Mine’ here (completed)

‘Next to You’ here

‘Rare pair hell series’ part 9 here

‘Live for you / Stay for me’ here 

‘“I pick up daddies at the playground.”’ here

‘lie to me (for i do not wish to live the truth)’ here

‘White Hands’ and ‘If Neil, Then Fox’ here

‘(don’t fear) the reaper’ here

‘Under the kitchen lights…’ here

‘Point Nemo’ here

‘Lifelines’ here

‘does the dog die at the end’ here

you may also like:

Neil runs after joining the foxes 2 here

andreil on the run from the mafia here

soulmates who feel each other's pain here

Mary/Nathan's people come back here

Mary tries to take Neil from the foxes here

Neil kills Nathan here

tell me where i came from, what i will always be by geeseproblems [Rated G, 317 Words, Complete, 2021]

She lives in his body like no other.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: canonical character death

Down with Something by pawnofkings [Rated T, 3051 Words, Complete, 2021]

Neil is sick, and he does his best to keep anyone from finding that out. He collapses in the middle of practice.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

you asked for this by Anonymous [Rated M, 790 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Neil Josten and guilt

tw: implied major character death, tw: child abuse, tw: emotional abuse, tw: blood, tw: negative self talk

A reflection or a lie by ShadowDolphin [Rated G, 839 Words, Complete, 2022]

Sixteen year old Neil Josten has an identity crisis cuz depersonalization is a wonderful thing that exists and he doesn't feel real

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

i know you'll take me with you by lil_macaroon [Rated T, 6129 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2023]

Neil has feelings that make him want to run. The only thing that keeps him at Palmetto State, hell, what keeps him in South Carolina, is the promise he made when Andrew asked him to stay three years ago. Unable to run, it all keeps building within him until one day, Andrew puts him in the car, and they go.

keep your head above the water (I can’t) by drewdrop44 [Rated T, 1156 Words, Complete, 2022]

The feeling of water moving over his head, swallowing him whole. Neil woke with a scream trapped in his mouth.

tw: drowning, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: violence, tw: nightmares 

It's a punch and a kiss, I'm trying to remember by beckdarkthrone [Not Rated, 18604 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2024]

He has a hold on himself as Neil, as Abram, as Nathaniel.. Until he doesn't.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: dissociative disorder, tw: blood, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: internalized homphobia

NB: this author has a podcast with aftg-centric episodes; check out ‘So You Think You Like’ on spotify.

We're all Monsters Here by serene_chaos [Not Rated, 892 Words, Complete, 2022]

"I am part of the slaughter house. I feel that makes me more of a monster than you.” “Don’t look at me to absolve you.” Andrew flicks his cigarette towards Neil. Sparks landing inches from Neil’s hand. OR Neil doesn't think Andrew is a monster, but thinks he might be.

tw: childhood trauma, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture

Who Am I to You? by serene_chaos [Rated M, 91907 Words, Incomplete, Updated April 2024]

Neil Josten was born with violence in his blood and raised as a weapon to hide in plain sight. And then he finds himself surrounded by foxes and his usual survival tactics ruined by a five foot goalie. The whole mobster mafia problem isn’t helping either. -- Cue a Neil who cares a little less, a past raven, and potentially a little something more to live for.

tw: attempted rape, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: murder, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: attempted nonconsensual drug use, tw: panic attacks, tw: flashbacks, tw: homophobia, tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism, tw: animal abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm 

you will always be my favorite form of loving by something_boring [Rated T, 15831 Words, Complete, 2024]

5 times the Foxes tried to take care of Neil and 1 time they didn't have to.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: panic attacks, tw: nightmares, tw: alcohol abuse, tw: blood, tw: vomit, tw: violence, tw: bullying

pain our brain has made by pipedreamaddy [Rated M, 16052 Words, Incomplete, Updated July 2024]

Neil and his discovery that he has trauma-induced migraines because we all know how he neglects his health. Between everything else going on with him, a migraine seemed very minor to him. But now that he is in a healthy, safe, and loving environment where he is thriving, he can take care of himself—theoretically speaking, at least. Or the fic where Neil finally gets the healing that he needs.

tw: needles, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: childhood trauma, tw: implied/referenced torture,  tw: flashbacks, tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced murder

Keep Your Head Down and Don't Look Back by Capheira [Rated G, 775 Words, Complete, 2024]

Neil has spent most of his life running from his past but perhaps this time he was a little too efficient.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks

Scars Like Stars by Kory_Rory [Rated T, 3429 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2024]

Neil deals with his trauma by biting himself while being completely oblivious to the harm he's putting himself through. But it's okay cause the foxes are there to help him :)

tw: self harm, tw: body dysmorphia, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: negative self talk, tw: flashbacks 

I’m not used to all this water, love (it’s true) by niicowo [Rated T, 1415 Words, Complete, 2024]

Neil never thought anyone could ever love him. His parents never made him feel loved. But then again, what did he know about love? Nothing, he guessed. But one thing he did know was that Andrew loved him. And he just may love him too.

tw: past suicidal ideation, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Razor’s Edge by godless_writer [Rated T, 2178 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil Josten, a caring, shit-talking, striker for the Palmetto State Foxes. Nathaniel Wesninski, a runner, and the son of The Butcher of Baltimore. When Neil thinks that Andrew is in danger after he walks into Kevin and Andrew fighting, his world turns red and those lines become blurred.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: dissociation

Don't let me be by Cutie_Wan [Not Rated, 1983 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil suffers a major dissociation episode in front of the Foxes.

tw: dissociation, tw: self harm, tw: violence

grin and bear it by wlwmlmsolidarity [Rated G, 1221 Words, Complete, 2024]

neil has chronic pain due to lola and tries to just ignore it and push through on a bad pain day, andrew forcefully makes him relax and accept help

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: chronic pain

NB: includes fanart by @clementinecloudz

scream and yell but i feel speechless by DepressedTerrestrial [Not Rated, 6770 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil had some unnecessary surgery done when he was younger. No one (including Neil) knows how to handle this except for Andrew (kind of).

tw: past medical abuse, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture

Isn't he the monster by DarkD [Not Rated, 16033 Words, Complete, 2021]

On a day when Neil "wakes up" in a particularly bad mood, hearing anyone being cruel to Andrew becomes unbearable to the point that he is on the verge of an explosion.

tw: violence, tw: blood, tw: self harm, tw: dissociation, tw: panic attacks, tw: child abuse

Art

Day 19: bullet and Day 4: stitches art by @thefluffiestbird

Nathan was known for his extravagant parties and incredible entertainment art by @mac-monsters; twitter

Neil & Mary on the run edit by @romanovass

These ouches feel a little rough for a child on the run. comic by @softerstorms

“Don’t you dare be more afraid of me than you are of Andrew” art by @rainbowd00dles 

There’s nowhere to run art by @/tryashaa on instagram

“I’m fine” - *literally dying* art by @/koldangrey_art on instagram

[illmoraineakoi]

The Chosen One, desperate to be free of his enslavement, devises a way to escape.

[novafire-is-thinking]

A lot of my mutuals and ‘following’ rn: BANG BRAVE BANG BRAVERN 🔥🔥🔥

Me: BLUE EYE SAMURAI 🔥🔥🔥

[azulock]

LIGHT SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA HERE

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PANEL!!

I legit fucking hope that as soon as bllk ends Nomura gets hired to do some battle shonen, cause he is gonna KILL at it. He's an insane artist with an absurd ability to show movement and intensity and he would murder at a battle manga. Legit this manga wouldn't work without his art and he deserves all praise for that.

Anyways love that this chapter is Barou imploding, Hiori airing out his kinks (we didn't need to know that, king), and Kaiser going super sayan in rage alone. Also crumbs of PXG, but only Rin, WHERE IS SHIDOU???

[miyanagi]

i uate it when kruger says to grisha that he thinks it was important that nazis killed his little sister to inspire his hatred and make him fight back against them i hate that eren heard that and went ohhh okay so i should kill my mom to inspire myself to commit global genocide. got it. I hate eren so fucking bad he's so scary he's so SCARY!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DID YOU GET HERE FROM THERE!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate that fucking BOY. regardless. i do love the way aot addresses the nuances and intricacies of fascism and hatred and the way some people just crave violence and will do anything to justify that desire and present it as valiant. eren is such a complicated and human character and that's part of why he's so terrifying. he's not a one note villain isayama himself said that he was upset when he realized eren was the character he related to the most while writing because armin was literally the pov character he was Intended as isayama's self insert. i hate it out here. im going to curl up into a ball i'm so scared of the finale and the revised ending. also i think it's interesting the way that the selfishness of erwin smith's agenda inadvertently inspires eren's brand of fascism. that susumu shit... the fucking scene where erwin asks eren who the 'enemy' is super super early on. the way that meant different things to both of them but ultimately also the same thing (the enemy is those who impede my ability to achieve my PERSONAL goals.) yhey both fought for their own personal desires rather than for the betterment of society. ughhgggghhggsdbbrkcnnndnfkekfbfnfnn the way that erwin's constant calls to action for people to move forward translated to eren refusing to relent on his goals of mass destruction. walking forward and forward and forward with the rumbling at his side ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ FUCKK!!!!! i love yhe way that eren has been the same since the beginning i love that he never changes i love the twist on the hotheaded shonen protag. i love how his goals for 'saving people' were always written as hatred and a desire to 'kill every last titan.' and you're supposed to write it off until you slowly see 'i'm going to kill them all' become more and more blatantly about Just fucking EVERYONE. it's such an amazing feat of writing the way aot recontextualizes itself into a different work when you consume it after learning everything. it's literally such an amazing narrative about the horrors of fascism and war while also humanizing the motives behind it and reminding us that fascists are people who made DECISIONS to be the way they are. that or they were groomed into it! AND ON THAT WE HAVE FUCKING GABI'S ARC going from a brainwashed jewish child nazi soldier who believes she's "one of the good ones" who needs to prove herself to realizing that there were, in her words, "no devils, just people." God don't fucking touch me

[evilwriter37]

Winter Whumperland Day 7

Prompts: Inhuman Whumpee, Exile

Rated: mature

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, animal death, blood, mild gore

Relationships: Stoick & Gobber

Word Count: 4,376

Summary: It was only supposed to be a legend, but legends don’t come out of the woods and bite people. Now, Hiccup finds his humanity slipping away.

[ryderdire]

Cw: blood animal abuse light body horror eye strain

And still It was never enough. I was never enough no matter how much I let them cut out.

——

I’d apologize for my hand writing but I am not sorry soooo

[edsbacktattoo]

inktober day 5: map

[maybe-im-dark]

Lullaby

It was one of those nights that Rocket knew would result in a nightmare.  The Guardian tossed and turned uneasily.  He had already tried everything to stay awake.  He'd had five cups of coffee, disassembled and cleaned his entire arsenal of weapons, and even taken an ice-cold shower.  The result: headaches, paws smelling of detergent and wet fur.  But he was still dead tired.

Think of something nice!  Think of something nice!  His claws dug into his palms as he struggled to recall positive memories.  A self-painted picture of Groot, when Peter gave him the Zune player, the raccoon babies.  Yes, the raccoons!  The feeling when their little snouts pressed against him.  Lots of little feet on him as they walked over him and sniffed at him curiously.  But none of that helped.  Fight as hard as he could, Rocket felt his eyelids grow heavy.  Until they closed and his mind slipped down into the darkness of the dream world.

Bright light blinded him.  A huge sun hovered over him, but it was a wrong sun.  Its light was not warm and golden, but cold and white.  He wanted to put his arm protectively over his eyes, but something held him.  A look down revealed large metallic rings encircling his wrists and ankles.  On a slab beside him lay a stick with a twisted tip.  A red crust stuck to the tip and a smell of iron filled his nostrils.  He knew that smell.  Blood.  old blood.  foreign blood.  Who had been here before him?

"Paralyze it."

"But sire, doesn't it need an anesthetic too?"

"Just make it not move!  It's an animal, it won't remember anything!"

Something appeared in his field of vision.  Huge birds bending over him.  They lacked feathers and their beaks were too short.  Something stabbed his neck.  Cold spread inside him and his body went numb.

There was a screeching sound and something entered his chest violently.  Indescribable pain shot through him and he screamed.  But the scream was only in his head because his mouth didn't move.  He wanted to bite and thrash, but he couldn't feel his snout or paws.  The scream grew louder, bouncing off the walls of his mind and reverberating in a never-ending echo.

HURTS!  HURTS!  HURTS!  HURTS!  HURTS!

 

Some time had passed.  He couldn't say how much.  The world had alternately consisted of light and dark.  Now he was crouched in a room.  One of the birds stood a little apart from him.  His dark gaze was as piercing as a thousand needles.

"Up!"

He didn't want to get up.  moving hurt.

"Up!"

When he didn't respond, the bird grabbed him brusquely and hauled him to his feet.  He squeaked in protest.  Standing up was unfamiliar and his muscles burned.  He immediately got down on all fours again.

"Stand up!  You’re supposed to stand up, 89P13!”

He tried to stir, but couldn't manage more than a tremor.  A whoosh cut through the air and something heavy hit his calves hard.  Fearfully he curled up, steeling himself for the next blow.

 "Urgh, it just doesn't listen!  Either it can't stand or it's too stupid!  We'll probably have to do more surgery."

No!  No, he didn't want the knives and saws again!  He didn't want it to hurt again!

 

Rocket jerked into a sitting position.  A scream reached his ears and it took him a moment to realize it was his own.  Someone shook his shoulder.

"Hey, hey!  Rocket, you had a nightmare!"

He spun around and stared at Drax.  His small beady eyes were wide open, revealing the auburn irises.

"Drax?  What are you doing here?” he finally choked out.

"I heard you screaming from outside and I went to see if you were alright," the Kylosian replied.

"I am alright!  Now get lost!” Rocket hissed, teeth bared.

He didn't need pity or talks about not being alone.

Drax appeared unimpressed.  "You dreamed about your past, didn't you?"

"Beat it, man!"

"How about you talk about it?"

Rocket let out a low growl.  "How about you piss off?"

"Shall I sing you a lullaby?"

Rocket buried his face in his paws.  "If you finally leave after that."

Drax was silent for a moment.  "I used to sing this song to my daughter when she had a bad dream.  She felt better immediately afterwards.  Maybe it will help you too.”

Now the raccoon felt guilty.  Drax was the only one who had never shared his story at length.  Rocket may have lost his friends, but the own child and wife?  That had to be rough.

He leaned back and sighed.  "You can try."

Drax began to sing.  His voice was low and raspy, but he wasn't as bad a singer as Rocket had feared.  It was a language he couldn't understand even with his translator chip.  Maybe a Kylosian dialect?  The words, however, sounded beautifully melodious and soothing.  With a yawn he drew his knees up to his chest and draped his tail around himself.  Maybe he could actually get some restful sleep.  The world grew calm and warm and the only sound was this beautiful song.

Drax smiled as he heard soft snores.  He gently tucked Rocket in.

"Sleep well my friend."

[kstarlitchaotics]

🚨 GRAPHIC DETAIL🚨

Welp...I know it shouldn't affect but I don't think I'm going to ever get fully of 97 anymore this is just....I'm disgusted if he can be saved he needs help

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

Watching the walking dead made me realize I been consuming too much kids' media. I'd always be sittin there hoping for them to cross a line. do something wild. have somethin outrageous and exciting happen. I've been craving violence and misery from shit that has to follow TV-PG rules. Wow watching something I'm the actual target audience for is great, who'da thought? 💀

[to-the-starlit-west]

As It Should Be, Derek Mahon

[chaosoftheages]

Me doing prep for Perfect Prime Target and realizing I'm gonna be writing graphic scenes again after just doing that for my novel:

[angelic-ish-phantom]

Drown

Danny knows what his parents are. He’s seen things people don’t tend to see. He’s grown up around the arcane and unrealistic.

Doubting it’s reality was never something he did. Not the way his sister always tried to.

But then, Jazz had spent her early years in house, going to school and having friends, ignorant as the people they passed by. All Danny remembered was traveling.

Danny’s earliest memories were of the RV, of his parents doing government work.

That’s why Danny knew without a doubt, monsters were real. Every kind was strange and spectacular; Danny wouldn’t have minded the idea joining his parents professionally if what they did didn’t always end up so violent.

He thought of a writhing black thing, a cat with too many tongues and too many teeth, caught in a glowing green net.

He thought of seals strung up like butchers meat, skin pulling in places like a slow-falling coat.

He thought of a hydra’s fallen heads twitching, a harpoon thrust through their body.

Danny’s parents were hunters, and they hunted monsters.

This wasn’t something Danny was too-strongly opinionated about.

Sure, he didn’t like the way people would look at his parents like they were insane sometimes, and he always tried to avoid staying near the RV when things got messy. But, he got to see a lot of places. And he didn’t really feel like he was missing out on much, being homeschooled.

Really Danny’s life is good. Everything is fine.

Or at least, it was.

It was, before his parents took a boat out on sea, the shore still relatively close.

It was, before his parent caught some massive scaled thing that looked a little to human for him to be comfortable with, and he couldn’t go far as it’s screeches grew quiet, because they were on a boat.

It was, until Danny gone to the railing and focused on the waves, knowing from experience he wouldn’t throw up if rode out his nausea.

And then all of a sudden it wasn’t, because the boat was rocking, and Danny had tipped over the edge, and something much bigger than whatever his parents had caught was dragging him down, down, down.

If he didn’t panic, he might have lasted longer, but he thrashed and struggled and tried to swim up.

It was no use.

And the water filled his lungs. And the pressure filled his ears. And his throat burned as he tried to scream between each intake of water.

His eyes stung, both from the water and unshed tears, as his vision darkened.

He got one good look at the one that had pulled him down to this fate. A woman, he thought, with a salmon hide and green skin, and matted white hair.

“A child for a child.” She might have said, voice like venom.

Then everything went dark.

oOo

Danny dreamt.

He Dreamt of magic and moonlight making him new.

He dreamt of waking up, his eyes too round, taking in a world of darkness like it was made from light.

He dreamt of feeling every wave and fish around him through the twitch of whiskers.

And in that dream, he swims with flippers and tail, contorting through waters until he remembers the blinding shore. All blurry shapes and sand and sharp smells as he drags himself up.

And then he wakes up.

oOo

Danny will wake up and draw a too-far line of what were and weren’t dreams.

He will wake up and see himself shivering on the sands of a shore, his parents boat not too far in the distance, and he will think washed up on the beach after falling off the boat.

He will let himself think it was only an accident and will try to keep tears from his eyes as he thinks of drowning.

He will hug his coat comfort, only to realize he hadn’t been wearing one.

He throw the garment away from himself reflexively for its too-close resemblance to the seal skins his parents seemed so eager to destroy.

He will struggle to his feet, and try to stop turning back to see if the coat is still there, unharmed and safe.

He will receive help calling his parents back to shore, will face comfort and relief that soothes him.

He will think of how much more soothing the coat would be.

He will be wrapped up in the RV and be safe and tended to, inexplicably not sick, but he will still feel like there are a thousand grains of sand pricking his skin.

He will listen Jazz argue with their parents, unable to mediate or reassure, because all he can think of will be soft furs on a beach and a dream that felt too real.

He will wait until the dead of night, the day before they’re set to leave, and he will return to the beach.

He will dig for hours until he finds his coat.

He will feel hands running down his own skin as he gently dusts its furs clean.

He will see the spotted pattern ripple underneath his fingertips.

He will wear it and look to the sea and consider.

He will decide.

He will wrench himself away, and hide the coat so deep in his mess of clothes it’s suffocating, and try to never think of what happened to every seal his parents caught, to every cloak his parents found.

He will try not to remember dying.

[definitelynotnia]

so you're telling me that I have to now tolerate sigmafied edits of Ranbir Kapoor in Animal being a chauvinist abuser to his onscreen wife and killing hundreds of people for his "love" for his emotionally absent shitty father?? as if watching sigma edits of Kabir Singh and American Psycho was not enough?