#depression and anxiety ain’t a joke

[fifisworld212]

Cleaning frenzie

when you decided to do a cleaning madness frenzie where your house cleaning gets a little outta control it does you the world of good in regards to your mental health and stability. It make things easier to cope and less stressful if you like the smell of bleach and cleanliness as much as I do it is a really great stress reliever and it really makes you relax your mind

[nickeverdeen]

hello! could i please request a ship from the hunger games, avatar the last airbender and the umbrella academy? i’m ok with being shipped w any of the adult characters in any of the fandoms also. my name is noelle & i’m a bisexual cis female (she/her pronouns). my fav romance tropes are arranged marriage & forbidden romance, and (i think) my love language is physical touch. i’m also an entp & gryffindor! i LOVE to travel & i value experiences over possessions. my family is very important to me and i also really want to have children in the future but not necessarily get married. i’m a people person but i enjoy having some quiet time to myself. i like think i’m pretty nice, but do not cross me 👀 also, my dream job is either a comedian, working in film or something to do with traveling <3 i’m also considered “the funny one” & the ‘wild child.’ i also struggle/have struggled with anxiety, depression, substance abuse & eating disorders. i love to read books and write (mostly scripts & poetry.) i love my job as a barista and i also enjoy going on spontaneous adventures! i love camping, swimming and anything to do with nature. i have a navel piercing, a sagittarius (my zodiac sign!) arrow tattoo below my neck and a fig tattoo on the back of my arm. my style is very 70s mixed with early 2000s. i thrift basically everything i own. i’m 5’3 & have dark blonde hair with blue eyes, i’m pretty chubby but i have a great ass lol. thank you so so much!! :)

Your Hunger Games match is…

Peeta Mellark

After the games he needs physical touch

His love language is physical touch and time quality

Peeta would also like to have children one day

He also prefers to have some time for himself

Likes your jokes and would try to beat you with his

Would fail

Peeta knows how to handle mental/emotional problems ‘cause he expirienced some of them himself

Takes you outside on a date 100%

He is a very observant person so he’d notice your tattoos

Asks if they have any meanings or you just took them because you liked them

Would need you to remind him what’s real and what’s not, sometimes

Your Avatar The Last Airbender match is…

Zuko

Zuko tried not to fall for you considering that being with you - someone who ain’t a firebender - would disappoint others

But he does fall for your personality and body

He ain’t much of a touchy type at first, but would “warm up” after few weeks

Zuko would to your suprise take you to travel on his boat

He ain’t really sure if he wants kids in the future

Likes your attitude

Doesn’t really get your jokes at first, but after a while he would start to understand

Knows exactly how to help you if you’d ever feel down or have your mental problems back

I mean he went through some of them himself

Jokes about your hight

Finds your clothing style funny and real good at the same time

You’re his comfort person and he’s very protective of you

Your Umbrella Academy match is…

Allison Hargreeves

Take in vain her childhood making her touch-starved

So she is seriously into physical touch

Would like to have children one day too

I mean look at her when she had Clarke

(or whatever her name was)

Seriously likes your jokes and puns

Allison has a truma and some other mental issues

So

She knows how to help you if you’re ever back at it again

Feeling upset in general? Let’s go out or whatever you wanna do

Cuddles 100%

Allison likes your clothing style a lot and would ask for your tips with hers sometimes

[ittybittycrocodile]

So it 1am right?

Well I’ve got the worlds most normal brother in a family of very not normal people. The guy does great with school, doesn’t have depression or anxiety, very much a bro dude, all that jazz. He goes to the gym, is passing school, a pretty decent Christian, too. He’s def got the tism and ADD but he has it in such a way that you wouldn’t realize it until a bit after knowing him. (It kinda cancels out in a way, and he’s an internal thinker so you’d kinda miss it at first)

Anyways. Normal brother found a burst of motivation tonight, was doing a bunch of laundry, and just walks in my room to put up said laundry. First thing he’s says is “I knew you weren’t asleep!” I responded “well you ain’t either so shush”

He proceeded to stand in front of my mirror and flex his muscles to himself, insult both of the chairs and my room (Joesef and Izzy) and even kick one, and when I told him he better sleep he said “I’ll kill you >:)”(/j tone, he wasn’t serious), then just left.

I wanted to share this bc it’s became a core memory forever now, and is even more reason to why he’s one of my fav and coolest ppl on this whole earth. He’s the most normal and least normal person I’ve met and never fails to intrigue me. He may not get most jokes, sarcasm, or social situations, but he sure is hilarious and fun to be around.

I

[selectivechaos]

i talked a bit about my depression on the tiktok comment section (cause the video was about it)

and i alredy get told that "i hope it gets worst" and "womp womp"

social anxiety momment so silly haha.

- 🪦💤

hey 🪦💤 anon,

that’s so messed up. that’s actually a ridiculously cruel way to treat people and it makes me angry. 

whole internet can be so cutthroat and dismissive. it’s always the whiplash of a complete stranger insulting or critiquing you. 

this is why was terrified to post. this is why am scared to comment. because it’s fine if everyone else provides their thoughts; they’re a valid part of the conversation. but as soon as i dare to add to a conversation online, brain goes: this ain’t safe, this is inherently embarrassing, this is too vulnerable. 

and in many ways it is too vulnerable. when everything is public. but the problem isn’t that people can see what you write; it’s that some of those people decide to make real people and their experiences into a joke. 

your experiences are real, and i’m so so sorry that those strangers treated you like shit. it’s not your fault, you’re not embarrassing or silly. it should be fine for people to make comments online, it should be safe. they should be met with kindness and support. 🌹🌹

[sbpstudios]

Rating the TMA fears by how much they freak me out

the Buried: on one hand weighted blankets are not enough, i need the hydraulic press. and also i like dirt and my job is literally being a rock dealer. on the other hand the thought of getting stuck freaks me out. i once got my knee stuck in the railing waiting in like for a roller coaster and i panicked so bad. also on the not literal side, i have bad money anxiety. so like- it's a sometimes fear. 5/10.

the Corruption: i hate ants i hate ants i hate ants SO fucking much every time i see a bunch of them my skin crawls and i can FEEL them under my skin and any time a ant gets on me it takes hours too not feel it on my skin anymore. 8/10 FUCK ants.

the Dark: the dark itself isn't a problem for me. it's just my anxiety sees darkness as a chance too kick my ass with existential dread. 4/10.

the Desolation: the desolation doesn't really spark much fear into me. i suppose i wouldn't like being hurt or my shit being destroyed but i don't exactly FEAR it. 2/10.

the End: 10/10.

the Eye: you ain't scary bitch. 0/10.

the Flesh: i thought i didn't fear the flesh until i had too look up organ references so i can Know Textures and then i felt actually sick looking at this shit. 6/10.

the Hunt: the reason i don't play a lot of horror games is because i do NOT take being pursued well. i played Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion once for a twitch stream and i felt like i was gonna pass out right then and there. but also i’m a monster fucker and the Hunt is the sexiest fear so- 7/10.

the Lonely: i suppose too some extent? being lone would not be ideal. a lot of times when i lived away from people where like, my only friends were online, i was SUPER depressed. currently living in a place where i can go places and talk too people in the flesh who aren't my family has done GREAT things for my mental health. and i suppose i do fear losing my online friends. the fear of them not liking me anymore and then leaving. 8/10.

the Slaughter: i'm a very queer person living in the midwest i always have some fear of getting my ass beat. and there's been plenty of times where i've feared violence. but also the Slaughter is the second sexiest fear only because of Melanie King. 7/10.

the Spiral: one time my boss pointed out that the door too the shop was still locked even tho i could have sworn i unlocked it and it caused me distress for the rest of the day. i always half joke that i wouldn't be surprised if i started hallucinating but i think realistically i would be just a touch freaked out if i really did. 7/10.

the Stranger: the first sexiest fear because my bf is a self proclaimed avatar of the Stranger and he's the sexiest man alive. 5/10.

the Vast: this one gets me both because ever since i broke my arm i've had a fear of falling and also because i suffer from existential dread. on the other hand i love the feeling of the wind screaming in my ear and the way my face and hands sting and tingle after being assaulted by the air rushing past me.  9/10.

the Web: ???/10.

[bianca-alexander88]

don’t let any yoga instructor convince you that being so means one is necessarily spiritually “advanced” or in some way “more spiritual than thou,” because we ain’t 

we eat junk food and consume trash media 

we deal with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues 

we make mistakes and sometimes poor choices 

we have implicit biases and are vulnerable to other common cognitive errors

we struggle with our own insecurities 

we judge ourselves and sometimes others 

we make awkward comments and tell ill-timed jokes

we are coping with our owns trauma and triggers

we have days when we can’t wait to teach and other days when (despite most often loving our jobs) we’d rather not 

we have days when our sequencing in class is on fire and other days when maybe we’re all over the place 

none of us float on a cloud in a constant state of enlightenment and nirvana 

none of us are pristine, perfect, always put together creatures; we’re just flawed humans, like everyone else

but… 

a half decent yoga teacher doesn’t have a problem admitting any of this 

we do our best with what we know, and we are committed to continuing to educate ourselves

we diligently avoid falling into a mentality of “having arrived” or becoming closed-minded to learning new knowledge or ways of doing things

we are responsible and accountable, and teach within our scope from a place of compassion and authenticity

we care about our students as human beings and make it our priority to provide practices that help cultivate self-love, self-care, and self-acceptance

[rascal-shark]

not to be egotistical but-

there’s only two writing/art double majors at my whole 30k+ person university including me. i’ve been against (read: we are tentative friends but i’m competitive as fuck so i secretly see them as a rival, it ain’t healthy but live for the fight when it’s all you’ve got etc etc).this other person, and they post every single thing they draw to 10 servers with the same copy paste message attatched - they’re not otherwise active on these servers. it’s clearly for attention, just based on our irl interactions and their chats on our mental health club’s server vent chat (we both have PTSD/depression/ADHD/anxiety, whatever.) and they get like 4-8 reacts per server, so like a hundred interactions overall.

i will never say this to their face, but they have one semester left (super senior) and their art looks like it’s done by a total novice. they say they want to be an animator and focus on humans, they have two animations and it’s just 1. laggy eyes blinking with NO squash and stretch and 2. 3-frame hand drawing - little movement. they don’t know anatomy at all and they just draw themselves in one of three poses. (also no tea but they draw their hair as a level 7 light brown when they’re like. a level 2.)

meanwhile, i’m learning the basics of human anatomy. i’ve spent around 30 hours on the pelvis bone alone in the last month (along with more time on the spine and ribcage from all angles)and i’m working from the skeleton to the muscles to the clothes. i want to be a master. i don’t care about attention, i know i’ll suck as i learn, i don’t want to be focused on a performance instead of diligent studying that will benefit me long-term. i’m playing the long game.

but MAN is it hard to see them soak up the praise once a week on our 5 mutual servers from a sketch with awful awful stiff-procreate-ipad-on-their-lap lineart quality that they tote around like a boytoy in hot girl summer to everyone they can find. my stuff isn’t as impressive; a page of ovaloid cylinders (pevlic bone shape), a page of literal eggs with cross contours (ribcage), a page of long cylinders (spine). it has the mechanical qualities of someone with chronic wrist tendintis (why try to hide my wobbles if it’s just for my own understanding?) it’s repetition, it’s ravenous; even motel art is leagues better.

i impress no one. i would lose artfight. i am lost in my own pages. i am jokes told to no one, “so this is the bone that’s causing me chronic pain,” a captain holt “BONE?” thrown into a speechless night. but it hurts to see them winning. i’ll keep my head down and keep going, i guess.

[arbitrarycogitation]

Adulting? I think not.

Note from future wah: I genuinely do not remember when I wrote this, but looking at the content, maybe around 2021? It's safe to say that I am not this angsty these days, but enjoy, I guess.

Going into my 20s at the same time as the world practically ending has been one hell of a ride for an anxiety-ridden hermit that is my real husk on earth. Who am I kidding, I am not a doomsday prepper, nor am I focused enough to play bitcoins. Meanwhile, my world is unfolding itself into the vast nothingness that is our "new normal". What a joke. Is this a timeout from mother earth? Or a punishment from those above? Maybe.

Thankfully, my whole life has always been online, so I was not a stranger to video calls and studying on the web, I am a digital native due to how my generation was collectively raised. Worry not, I still stare at the walls and windows and coffee mugs when I can. I read, write, throw random facts on the dinner table and stretch like my bones are lead on a daily basis too. It’s a miracle anti-depressant are the only thing I take away from this whole ordeal.

That’s a lie. I took away so much from life during the pandemic. In return, the virus took away as much from me. It’s not all bad, I hear myself saying. It’s not all good either, I feel my heart screaming. Nothing seemed fair, and although most adults might think “Well, life ain’t fair kid”, I personally think that kind of mindset will make me push myself into a self-pitying hole that I will never make myself crawl out of.

Grief comes with age. Grief comes with speed. Grief came over everyone on earth in one way or another since the dawn of 2020. Grief, while natural, is still an emotion I wish we could just pawn off to the devil in exchange for some riches and gold. Alas, the devil is busy making use of himself, with the staggering amount of people passing through his domain lately. I wish I can help them if that means seeing all the people I lost this past few years. Human greed knows no bounds, but I’m willing to play the role of Orpheus in a heartbeat if it meant changing the course of one’s life. The fates would not be happy, but they have been grumpy for centuries, I reckon.

Maybe it's true what they say on the internet. The roaring 20s was wild, and this one is no different. I kept thinking to myself, I just want to live a quiet life. I don't mind hearing roars every now and then, but I would appreciate it more if no one gets eaten alive. As of now I am pretty much constantly overwhelmed and living the days one hour at a time, but hey, at least I never caught that blasted virus that kept me away from my loved ones for so long. The virus made humanity’s brittle foundation crumbles. My heart still aches when I remember the news. There were no festivities, and there was no celebration. No school, no community gatherings, no vacations. We as a species were reduced to our earlier form, cavemen hiding from dangers lurking outside. It was as if the world’s creator put us on time out.

I feel robbed of my newly acquired "adulthood", but really, what is it anyway?

[fifisworld212]

A simple hug or cuddle

I find that a simple hug or cuddle off someone can make me while to let a lot of relief off my mind. It’s very stressful when you’ve got a lot on your mind in regards to anxiety, depression and PTSD but a simple hug can sometimes help people are suffering very badly

[missoverlord]

Still trying to get a comparative height nailed down.

As for me, uh... things have been going on. Taking care of my mom who’s gotten creamed by a particularly stubborn cold. Walking pneumonia ain’t no joke.

I’m sick, too, but not as much which is a relief given my position as her caregiver. This is going on as I try to find the right balance of meds for myself to deal with a combination of depression, menopause and ADHD.

That last one is kind of a big dealie on its own. Coming to terms with over 20 years of self-loathing over being ‘defective’ in various ways isn’t an easy process. I think it’s been almost two years since being diagnosed, now? Sometime I really need to write out my feelings over finally finding out why I am I way that I am in my 30′s, it’s just very complicated. Acknowledging it is still difficult... like, I didn’t tell my mother for months out of a mix of anxiety and almost fear. I was scared she’d think I was less competent just by knowing, I think.

,,, Her reaction was just, “oh, okay”. I was so worried, but apparently it made a lot of sense to her. There’s a good chance she is, too, but that’s yet another dealie.

[godtiertalk]

What’s up, long time no see.

I’m probably not re-opening this blog (but shit’s wild out here these days, so who knows).

What I am doing, however, is giving you all my magnum opus:

Homestuck Aspects, But Fucky.

Are you sick of Aspect quizzes where the answer is weirdly self-evident and you feel a terrible compulsion to “aim” for you “preferred” aspect?

Well, motherfucker, have I got the quiz for you. Every single one of these “questions” is nonsense, every single answer is absurdity, and every single person I tested it on got the right aspect at the end.*

*My sample size was three people this is a meaningless claim.

Take the quiz at your leisure, and then when you’re done and remembering the Ancient Days of Quizilla where you got to see what all the personality types were at the end after getting yours?

Head on back to this post, where I am putting all 12 answers below this cut.

Oh damn, you're a power player (even if you don't want to admit it). You're probably pretty okay at being The Mom Friend (even though you don't want to be it). You may be immortal, it's really hard to be sure. Either way, there are a lot of people out there who envy your psychological stability. The joke's on them though, you're approximately as stable as Pluto's orbit: you only look that way from a distance.

Rage

How's your blood pressure? Good? Good. With that in mind, take a deep breath. Feel the air move past your teeth, into your chest. A relentless cycle of in and out that only stops on your command, and otherwise persists. That's you. You persist, at your own command, unyielding. Good for you.

Time

TIME TO FUCK SHIT UP MORE LIKE. Whether this means "fucking up the enemy" or "fucking up your own very good plans and intentions" is hard to say. But rest assured, the shit is fucked.

Mind

My girlfriend is a mind player, so you're probably my favourite. Unfortunately, beneath the well practiced veneer of professional chill, your anxieties are not merely infinite, but one of the larger infinities available, and definitely still growing.

Hope

Hey!!! Sorry if your depression is still untreated or uncontrolled! But the good news is, you haven't died yet, and you aren't going to die any time soon, which means all those weird notions you have of what to do next (the ones that keep competing with each other for your limited brain space)? You get to do them. Literally roll the dice and pick one, we all know you're going to nail it.

Life

Everyone else's problems are everyone else's problems. You do not actually need to fix them, even though the temptation is SO REAL. I promise, no one is going to think less of you for taking some time to focus on your own shit. In fact (brace yourself) they probably won't notice at all, because being obsessed with other people's issues instead of your own makes you very bad at handling either. You're already a good person. You don't need to prove it. But you know what good people deserve? Some fucking self care.

Heart

You know what you want in life. Maybe not how to get it, exactly, but you know your own end goal, and holy SHIT I wish that were me. Hold onto that self awareness, even as you may need to let other parts of your ego go. Never forget what you want, what you truly, really want.

Blood

Friends, family, and dearest loved ones. We are gathered here today to witness the union between disparate souls, coming together to create something more than their parts. (You're the fucking officiant in this wedding scenario, so get good at the rituals of socialization quick, babe).

Doom

Okay, doomer. I'm sorry, neither you, I, nor any other Doom player deserved that. But for real though, press F for yourself and show some goddamn self-respect. Ain't anyone the fuck else going to do it. Which means it's up to you, as usual. Good thing practice has already perfected your capacity to ignore your own suffering and get to the fucking point.

Light

I cannot decide if calling you "Jace Beleren but it's real life instead of a card game" would be an insult or a compliment, which I think really neatly captures your whole deal. Your wikipedia-like breadth of skills and knowledge is commendable, but I am begging you to slow down. Science isn't going to disappear just because you took a long weekend and an extra hot bath. Life is short, but damn, it's not THAT short.

Void

Are you okay? Like, in a broad, existential sense. I understand that it is extremely tempting to throw your hands up and turn your back on the world's relentless chaos and brazen stupidity. But, it's your world too. There are parts of it worth holding. Even now, even here, there are parts worth loving, and you are one of them. I know you don't want to take that on faith. I know with neither evidence nor proofs it sounds like I'm blowing it out my ass. But you actually, really, genuinely are.

Breath

Flighty (complimentary). Intuitive (derogatory). Fun (gender). Stop knowing things about other people without being told, and instead try knowing things about yourself. Yeah, I know that fucking sucks, but unfortunately, self awareness is important! Anyway, while you're busy not knowing your truth, at least you're fun as hell. Here's a bit of self-insight for free: you hang out with your friends because you LIKE them, it's okay to just like people.

[mythicalmongoose]

So, trauma and Cobra Kai… Or, more specifically, mostly trauma and Daniel, I guess.

And, PLEASE, if you disagree so hard you absolutely must discuss it with others, don’t call me names and vagueblog about how “embarrassing” my opinions are. Just reply to the dang post or start a private group chat like an adult. This fandom ain’t that big. Stuff that specific gets back to me and is depressing/anxiety inducing to read. At the end of the day, these are fictional characters and I am not.

So, anyway, I don’t think the writers are failing Daniel by not addressing his trauma. I feel like fandom kind of overestimates how much events from the movies affect him as an adult. Anonymous asks are still off because of the last time I had an unpopular opinion, so let’s goooo…..

Trauma is a big, broad subject and, to be perfectly honest, my opinions on this subject might be largely fueled by my inability to figure out wtf people mean when they use the word, “trauma” these days. The word feels like it’s lost its meaning, tbh. And being frustrated by that feels like such a slippery slope bc you don’t want to gatekeep trauma. You don’t want to risk invalidating people’s experiences. But, at the same time, it’s frustrating to see the word bandied about for any and everything that’s even mildly unfortunate… And then used for meme purposes by people already playing fast and loose with the word.

One of the super fun conditions on my medical chart is c-ptsd. Which I’m mentioning just as context for where I’m coming from and not, like, “Do you even have a doctor’s note, bro? You can’t sit at the table with the ptsd cool kids without a doctor’s note.” Everyone’s circumstances are different. If something from your past is impacting your ability to function in your day-to-day life, you know it. You’re valid.

That said, Daniel is a fictional character. If you identify with him because you can project your own problems onto him, again, totally valid. But Daniel, in my reading of the character, is not an especially traumatized dude.

When we meet him in the show, he is THRIVING. Great life, loving family, a job he loves, wealth. And, while there was, unarguably, a significant amount of karate-based drama in his past, there is no indication that it meaningfully impacted him in a negative way.

When he’s blindsided by Cobra Kai, that’s completely reasonable. As is his response to most of the karate supervillains reemerging from his past. Like, the threat is RIGHT there. It’s healthy human behavior to react to that. Less healthy is how Daniel approaches those problems. But, imo, that comes more from a place of grief. Specifically, complicated grief, which is its own thing.

Daniel doesn’t have flashbacks apropos of nothing or outwardly innocuous triggers based on high school, Silver, ect. I imagine that death matches and being dangled off a cliff take their toll, but that feels like something Miyagi would have spotted and helped him address. Which is the healthy thing to do. To take traumatic events and move past them or use them as a sort of stepping stone that shapes you in some positive way. Which tracks with how lost Daniel seems in knowing how to deal with the events of CK without Miyagi.

Cobra Kai outliving Miyagi is untenable. It’s in trying to maintain Miyagi’s legacy that he gets mired in the past.

Being bullied for several months in high school is a story that Daniel exaggerates to his family in a, “When I was your age, I used to walk to school in the snow uphill both ways” fashion. Which isn’t something I associate with trauma. Talking about or making jokes about their trauma to cope, sure. This doesn’t read like that, though.

He doesn’t talk about Silver to people, but I’ve always felt like this is because he’s ashamed. He wasn’t gaslit. He barely knew Silver. Being tricked into punching 2x4’s wasn’t the part that affected him. He’s ashamed of that part of his life. He genuinely upset Miyagi; he feels like he betrayed him. For all his hatred towards Cobra Kai, the fact that he joined them isn’t something he likes thinking or talking about. And, shit, we all have that. Not karate drama, but periods of our life that we’re not proud of, moments you really don’t want to bring up unless pressed. Especially now that the person you hurt the most is no longer around.

Which is already plenty depressing and complex without insisting that it was also traumatic in other ways? I don’t think alarm bells going off when you see the unhinged man who bullied a high school kid returning to Cobra Kai to teach children is a response that screams unprocessed trauma. Again, that’s exceedingly reasonable. Which is, perhaps, why it bugs me so much that people harp on Johnny for not being sympathetic enough.

Johnny grew up in Cobra Kai. Kreese was his sensei/father figure. I don’t think Silver registers as particularly egregious in a way that warrants him suddenly turning into a character with a way higher emotional IQ than the one he’s got.

People complaining that they wrote Johnny, Kreese, and Terry with considerable trauma-based issues as if this is something unfair to Daniel is what gets under my skin more than anything. It feels very, “Hey guys, mom said it was my turn to have the trauma.” Like it’s a desirable thing to have. Which is all well and good in fanfic, but demanding a character have trauma that’s explored and addressed because it’s not fair that the writers address the trauma of other characters is just… Ugh. It reminds me of the, frankly alarming, number of people who have told me that they envy the traumatic things I’ve been through because they feel I have more life experience than them. A lot of the talk I see around Daniel and trauma feels romanticized or fetishistic in a way I have a hard time putting my finger on.

Johnny’s c-ptsd and Kreese and Silver’s PTSD  is not the writers playing favorites. Daniel has his own, no less compelling, problems and I feel like those are already being touched on in ways that are plenty emotional… As evidenced by the fact that I have cried no less than twice over how much he misses Miyagi this week. It was that time of the month. Don’t look at me. It’s sad, okay?

/wall o stream of conscious text that was hopefully coherent.

[cassahina]

Headcanons for my favorite queer Danganronpa ships (+AroAce Chihiro): Dr1 & Udg~

Celesgiri:

- They are the two who start dating after consistent events of being done with everyone else’s shit together. It was probably the fifth time Leon got his good throwing hand stuck in a pickles jar where they decided to say fuck these people and make out in the closest that night, ditching their friends game night in the middle of charades.

- When Celestia first saw Kyoko’s hands without her gloves on, she was shocked. Not so much because of the scars, but because of the look of shame and discomfort that was blatant in Kyoko’s features. That night they had a talk and Celestia repeatedly told Kyoko that she was beautiful and reassured her that Celestia adored her. That would be the same night where they shared their first “I love you”s.

- Kyoko is one of the very few people who know about Celestia’s vampire fetish and always teases her about it. For Halloween she decided to surprise her by dressing up as one, and Kyoko swears she has never seen Celestia blush so much.

- Celestia loves to teasingly flirt with Kyoko whenever Kyoko is busy. She definitely looked up pick up lines and fancy French terms of endearment to use before Kyoko starts her work. Kyoko always rolls her eyes at Celestia’s antics, but deep down inside they both know they are the highlight of Kyoko’s day.

Ikuzono:

- Sayaka loves to kiss the few scars Mukuro has and has only shown her. It’s always a very intimate and vulnerable moment for the two, and Mukuro always gets a bit worried and insecure when she shows them so Sayaka happily reassures Mukuro that she is beautiful before showering her in kisses.

- Mukuro has definitely beaten up a few guys who have stared at Sayaka for too long in a certain way before. Having an idol for a girlfriend is rough, but thankfully it allows her to flex her amazing strength and muscles, which Sayaka always finds hella attractive and will thank her with a kiss, regardless of whether the paparazzi is there or not.

- Mukuro sometimes has nightmares about Junko. During these nights Sayaka will come in, spoon her, and quietly sing Mukuro back to sleep until she is snoozing again while snuggled up in Sayaka’s arms.

- Mukuro has a wolf onesie while Sayaka has a koala bear onesie and they always have cuddly dates in them at least once a month (once it was every night of the week for two months). Mukuro always gets bashful wearing her onesie, meanwhile Sayaka is just gushing over how cute her girlfriend is.

Tokomaru/Syomaru:

- They always share a bed ever since the udg events. Even when Toko got over her worry about ghosts, they still share a bed and stay up late talking to each other until they both pass out. It’s really helpful for times when one of them has a nightmare as sometimes Toko doesn’t wake up, so Komaru just quietly holds her and soothes Toko as she calms down in her sleep.

- Jill loves to gush on Komaru and show off. She’s actually decently strong, so they will carry Komaru around and bench press her at times to show how strong they are and how they can protect her like how they protect Toko. (Jill is a protector alter for Toko’s DID system, and that protective nature rubs off onto Komaru after they start dating and as Jill grows more and more fond of Komaru)

- Komaru and her girlfriends love to take baths together. It started off when Toko was in a depressive swing and Komaru helped her get through the necessities (cooking Toko meals, brushing her hair, etc.) and it ended up making Toko very happy, so they continued to do it. Toko likes bubble baths and Jill loves bath bombs, and Komaru always brings scented candles so it’s always just a nice relaxing moment between the girlfriends.

- Toko is a little spoon who will never admit that fact out loud, while Jill is a big spoon. Komaru loves it because she constantly gets to be both the big spoon and the little spoon, and cuddle times with her girlfriends always leaves her in a state of pure bliss.

Ishimondo:

- Mondo was probably Taka’s last straw before he accepted the fact that he liked guys. Like he is chill with gay people but he never fully saw himself as one, constantly questioning it but thanks to heteronormativity he repressed those thoughts a bit, and then he looks at Mondo and went “ah, so this is what it means to ‘gay panic’”.

- Mondo likes to follow Taka to help him keep the others in line with school rules. Whenever someone seems to question Taka or is about to berate Taka for being so stringent, they get a death glare from Mondo that reads “you better listen to my boyfriend”. Taka always thinks it’s his authority that makes the others listen out of respect, and Mondo doesn’t have the heart to tell him the truth.

- Bro is their casual tough guy way of a cute pet name for each other. This is mainly because Mondo called Taka babes once, and Taka gay panicked so much that he passed out. Poor baby couldn’t handle how soft it made him. It was both very concerning and very cute to Mondo who ended up watching over Taka until he regained his composure.

-they are like so supportive of everyone else, either being the big gay brothers or the dads of everyone else. They have a mlm-wlw solidity with Sakuraoi where they take care of everyone and all the baby gays. They also have monthly game nights where they playfully compete against each other in a joke battle between the gays and the lesbians. Just lots of lgbtq+ jokes and fluff and support, all in good fun and never any hard feelings towards who wins and who loses. Really they are just a badass yet very considerate and soft couple with one another.

Sakuraoi:

- Aoi definitely asked Sakura out first, and knowing her it was either to get something to eat with her or to work out together. They both really admire each other so they would be down for whatever, but neither is big on PDA in public besides hugging and hand-holding and the occasional kiss on the cheek or pet name. It took the others about a month to realize the two were dating because they were so casual about it and both forgot to tell the others, figuring the other had already done so.

- So much body positivity from both of these girls. For real, imagine comments like Ishimaru accidentally calling Sakura a guy happens all the time, so it probably means the world when Aoi just love spams a million gender neutral and feminine compliments telling Sakura how beautiful she is and how Aoi can’t believe she is dating the most gorgeous woman in the world.

- Meanwhile, Aoi sometimes worries about her weight as she is not only an athlete but also from constantly being judged for eating doughnuts so much and her other comfort foods. But Sakura tells her that those things make her happy and when she is happy she is beautiful because Aoi has the most captivating smile. They both in a way just remind each other that they are both beautiful and loved every day, but both know that the other genuinely means it.

- Sakura is amazing at baking and Aoi melts over the wife material her girlfriend is. Whenever she is stressed, Sakura bakes something with one of the other girls to cheer Aoi up, and they end up having a cuddly sleepover. Aoi in return always makes sure to comfort Sakura whenever she is stressed, with Sakura not being the type to let things get to her often so Aoi is always the worried, accepting, and loving girlfriend when Sakura needs it.

Chihiro:

- They are AroAce, but they are open to QPPs. I see Taka and Mondo being the most likely candidates, but they are more like Chihiro’s gay dads though.

- Chihiro has said sexuality can fuck itself. Taka passed out from both the sheer shock and horror of that moment.

- They probs have the worst anxiety when trying to explain the Aro spectrum and how QPRs work, so they are extremely appreciative for their friends who accept them and love them for who they are.

- They are the softest thing, I would imagine them being an amazing snuggler platonically cause they still love cuddle time, they just ain’t into romance. They are also super supportive and great at being a hype person. They are generally just precious and deserve the world and all the validation it has to offer to them.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi!! i recently got into johnlock and the universe has somehow directed me to your blog (which is an absolute godsend omfg). have you got any good possessive!john fics?

Hi Lovely!!!

AHHHH!! I’m so glad you enjoy my blog!!! <3 Thank you so much! <3

AHHH you know what??? I don’t get asked this all that much at all! I think mostly because it’s easier to find Possessive Sherlock fics and people then just... forget LOL

So guess what?? You’re the prompter for any fics I actually tagged or filed with Possessive John! <3 A pioneer you are! LOL I’m combining it with a few of the Obsessive fics as well, since I don’t have many new ones.

As usual, gang, feel free to add your own!! <3

POSSESSIVE / OBSESSIVE JOHN

See also: 

Specifically Jealous John b/c of Other People

Jealous John

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

Display by 221b_hound (E, 2,377 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, Public Hand Jobs, Exhibitionism, Possessive Sex, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John) – A new client has been flirting with Sherlock and, finding no joy there, with John. John seems annoyed to be second-best, Sherlock thinks, so Sherlock decides to give the departing woman (and maybe also John) a demonstration of who, exactly, John belongs to. But there's more than one level of sexual jealousy and more than one display of possession going on here, outlined in the window of 221b Baker Street. Part 2 of Lock and Key

Apodyopsis by QuinnAnderson (E, 3,347 w.,1 Ch. || PWP, Rough Sex, Table Sex, Anal, Sexual Tension) – Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone. Part 2 of Undressed

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarrassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

Caves in the Mountains Are Seldom Unoccupied by starrysummernights & TheMadKatter13 (E, 7,925 w., 1 Ch. || Were-Creatures ||  Werebear John, Pseudo Bestiality, Rimming, Heavy Dub Con, Rough Sex, Come Inflation / Eating, Size Kink, PWP, Bratty Sherlock, Rutting) – “This isn’t something to play at, Sherlock,” he snapped. “If it doesn’t work out- what you’re asking of me- we can’t shrug and say 'oh well, at least we tried'. If we do this… I could seriously hurt you. Do you understand? I could lose control. I could… I could kill you.”

My Life for His by QuinnAnderson (E, 8,816 w., 1 Ch. || Guardian/Protector, Greek Mythology || Growing Up, Sex, Religious Themes, Suicide, Minor Character Death) – It began when Sherlock was eight, and he attempted to climb all the way up to the highest branch in the old willow tree in his back garden. He'd thought he was still small enough that it could support him, but the second he'd grabbed hold of it to pull himself up, the branch snapped, and down he went, plummeting a solid twenty metres. The odd thing was, he never actually hit the ground.

Of Course I Forgive You by allonsys_girl (E, 10,735 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Canon Divergence, First Time, Frottage, Wall Sex, Infidelity) – What if things had gone differently on that train car?

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending, Obsessive John) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time, Obsessive John) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

Free Falling by twistedthicket1 (M, 203,574 w., 38 Ch. || Guardian Angels AU || Guardian Angel John, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Kidlock / Teenlock, Light Mystrade, Passage of Time, Possessive John, Drug Use / Overdose, Victor Trevor, Graphic Bullying, Big Brother Mycroft, Hard Drug Use, Depression, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John, Panic Attacks, Nightmares/PTSD, Pining, Healing Abilities, Kidnapping, Violence, Torture, Blow Jobs, Virgin John, Emotional Development / Attachment, Mortality, Happy Ending) – All Guardian angels are born with a Chosen human. When this child is born, the angel comes into being to protect and care for them during their life on Earth. For John Watson, all he cares about in the world revolves around his Chosen, Sherlock Holmes. Watching him grow up though, the angel soon learns that God must have had a sense of humour the day he decided to make Sherlock, as trouble seems to follow him like a magnet wherever he goes. John can't decide what's worse, the idea of losing his Chosen one, or the fact that he may be breaking the most taboo law of heaven as he disguises himself as a human to better protect and befriend the beloved detective he's always watched from afar. He was meant to care for him. But what happens when caring evolves into something more? What happens when an emotion an angel is supposed to be incapable of possessing comes to life suddenly and viciously inside John's chest?

[agusvedder]

--I have in my head on a loop:

"...Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day."

Ghostfacers - 3x13

On a loop. On a loop. In that haunted house, the victims repeat their deaths on a loop, again and again. Always a circle. And if Corbett was freed by the power of love, that means they not only repeat their deaths, but their feelings are still untouched, they're still there pulling something to keep those ghosts stuck, unable to move on...  Like angels and demons in the empty, they repeat their deaths and their biggest mistakes, their unfinished bussiness. 

Ruby: "Why do you call it Empty? This place is full, full of sorrow and despair playing over and over again, of angels and demons dreaming about their regrets. Forever" (15x13)

Now, in this Ghostfacers episode from Season 3, they used Corbett’s feelings for Ed as a comedic resource at some level. Because in Supernatural s3, Gay=Joke. We know it’s not that way anymore. We know it for a fact. 

Now, I wanna bring some attention to this small piece of dialogue of the Ghostfacers episode.

SAM: Think we were off on this? I mean, that was just a death echo. 

 DEAN: Yeah, but what's it doing here? Did anybody get shot here? 

 SAM: No, not that I could find. 

 SPRUCE: What's a death echo? 

 SAM: Look, we got a problem here. That ghost ain't it. 

 HARRY: Yeah, that's real. Like, that happened. 

 SPRUCE: What's a death echo? 

 DEAN: Echoes are trapped in a loop, okay? They keep replaying how they died over and over and over again, usually in the place where they were ganked. It's about as dangerous as a scary movie. 

 SAM: So maybe the echo's not dangerous, but maybe something else is.

Okay, I know maybe it wasn’t the original intention of the writers for this episode to be a perfect guide to explain Destiel’s last episodes and the ending of Supernatural, but as show as well designed as this, and with so many callbacks, parallels and mirrors, I am doubting if this is not intentional, ‘cause the small piece of dialogue I wrote up there is not the end. 

Finally, the intern Corbett dies. And Harry suddenly has a moment of clarity. 

HARRY:- I...I know how we can get through to him. 

ED: How? 

HARRY: Ed... He had feelings for you. 

ED: Huh? 

HARRY: He wanted you. 

ED: Wa-- wanted me to what? 

HARRY: You know.  And you know what you've got to do. You can do it, Ed. You've always been the brave one. Yes, you can. You make us brave -- Maggie, right? 

MAGGIE: Yeah. Yeah you do. You totally do. 

HARRY: Ed...You got to go be gay for that poor, dead intern. You got to send him into the light."

Out of the darkness, into the light. 

"ED: Corbett, look. Hey, it's just Ed, buddy. It's just me. Hey, hey, Corbett, listen to me. Listen to me. I -- we... Okay. You meant... Corbett, you meant a lot to the team. You meant... You meant a lot to  me. You know, never back down...Never say a bad word, okay? I remember that, Corbett. I-I remember that. I remember because I love you, Corbett. I really, truly love you. Do you remember that? do you?"

Ed says the magic words to wake Corbett up from that loop of suffering, death and regret. Words that remind me to other words.

Buddy.  We needed you back. I don't get words wrong. We need you. I need you. 

Goodbye Stranger. When Dean was honest about his own feelings, Cas was free.

Also notice how Harry used “He wanted you” instead of, I don’t know, “he liked you” or something. This is a theme that’s been repeating for seasons with Dean specifically, the Want vs Need, the Plural vs Singular in regards to Cas. The whole purgatory arc, the Michael!Dean arc with his famous, seemingly random question “What do you want?” in the beginning of season 14. Surprise surprise, it’s not random, and we know it. 

(Tiny detail that maybe is not that interesting but I got it on my head and I gotta write it: In this season, episode 4, we see Chuck being a writer again, writing the last Winchester book. Chuck’s pseudonym in season 5 was Carver Edlund. This season we already had that callback to Carver, engraved on stone on the crypt where Rowena chooses to die. Where is our callback to Edlund? .... Well. Edlund wrote Ghostfacers in s3). 

Also, this small thing answer my own question from 15x02 when I noticed a visual parallel between Cas and the ghosts from hell.

Okay, so my speculation is that this specific dialogue will repeat some time in the future when SOME human we know rescue SOME dead angel we know and love. It. Fits. 

To Conclude, and in the Ghostfacer’s words:

ED: We know this much: that every day, including today, is a new beginning. We learned more than we can say in the brutal feat of the Morton House.

HARRY: The Ghostfacers were forced to face something far more scary than ghosts. They were forced to face themselves.

ED: War changes Man.

HARRY: And Maggie.

ED: War changes man. And one woman... You know Corbett, we just... ah gosh, we just like to think that you're out there, watching over us.

HARRY: As far as we're concerned, you're not an intern anymore. You have more than earned full Ghostfacer status. Plus, it would be cool to have a ghost on the team.

ED: Yeah. Heh heh. And here we were thinking that, you know, we were teaching you and all this time you were teaching us, about heart, about dedication, and about how gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. Thank you, Alan J. Corbett.

(I know this is a mix of stuff, I’m not sorry though.)

-------

OKAY, so I’m not gonna detail phrase by phrase why it feels relevant, because it’s pretty evident, so I trust you guys to read it and share with me what you feel about the end, and how do you think this relates. But this is... ugh ñksndfñ.Its an amazing example on how FAR this show has gotten, how it keep circling back to the start over and over and over, and past canon but evidently evolved as an inspiration for future episodes. Certainly the “Gay” resource stopped being a joke a LONG time ago. 

Side note: thank you crippling depression, anxiety and self loathing for finally allow me to post this meta. 

[yanderemommabean]

A really dumb comfort scenario by Mommabean

Dabi x Reader fluff stuff

Dabi never used to see himself as a night owl. Standing out as the skies turn from a pleasant purple to a dark shade of black speckled with bright stars wasn’t something he saw himself enjoying, not until a few months ago when fate decided he needed to meet someone worth staying out late with.

Usually he prefers to just stay inside and do his own thing, be that scrolling through memes or simply just listening to music while he turns the lights off and drifts into his mind for a few hours. On rare occasions he’ll spend time with friends, but it drains him considerably and he has to recharge his battery afterwards.

It doesn’t mean he hates them, he’s just not a person with a lot of energy, but he knows people take it personally. Which can’t really be helped as he isn’t the best with words on explaining why he does what he does, honestly he doesn’t even know.

Typically his weeks goes like this - working with assholes who act like siblings rather than coworkers, then wanting to unwind as soon as he gets home because if he doesn’t he’ll snap or possibly have a mental break. Which probably already happened considering where he is now, but another break isn’t something to want to happen either.

But Dabi was forced out one night a few months back by Toga, who he can’t say no to often as she’s like a little sister and he adores her as such, and was dragged practically to a restaurant for drinks and food as a way to celebrate their hard work. Even Shigaraki got a stick out of his ass for a hangout, so he supposed he could suck it up for their sake.

Leave it to his soft heart to make him torture his own antisocial ass. However, this time he was seemingly gifted, as he heard laughter from across the room and saw you, giggling and almost snorting as you covered your face at the ridiculous joke a friend made. You looked absolutely precious, for lack of a better word. Not a care in the world as you laughed and giggled so hard you lost your breath.

He was drawn to the brightness you added to the dull restaurant, vaguely paying attention to the conversation his own group was having as you peaked his interest. Dabi figures he was being too obvious with his staring, as you looked over and met his gaze directly, but instead of flipping him off and acting like a full Karen, you waved and gave a shy smile.

That kinda hurt to not see that pretty smile. You’ve hidden it the entire time he’s been watching you, as if you hated it. Well, he’s got a plan for that, just you wait. He’ll get you to smile for him, just give him time. He remembers how he managed to greet you, both of you talking and surprisingly having a lot in common.

A total mindfuck to find out an adorable, fluffy person like you was into murder documentaries, scary stories, horror films, and loved to study obscure and odd mysteries. Color him pleasantly surprised. You two kept chatting away after the awkward ice was broken, to the point your friends were getting a bit pissy and telling you to hurry up to leave.

Fuck ‘em. He didn’t like them then and he doesn’t like them now. Out of spite he wanted to ask you for a drink so he could drag out the conversation longer, but he didn’t need to make a bad impression or make Shigaraki think he was pulling something. Which again, was fair, he was known for pulling some stupid shit every now and again.

Months. It’s been months and he hasn’t gotten tired of meeting you and being around you. You’ve had your arguments sure, had your moments where you and him were a bit tense, but that didn’t deter anything. Hell, you two have nicknames for one another now, and he allows you to play with his hair every now and again. He doesn’t let anyone get that close except Toga, you should be a little honored. Nothing is ever getting rid of him if you two are this close already.

It’s still baffling. Months! And all this time, you still hid that pretty smile. The very thing that drew him too you in the first place. What do you have to be ashamed of? Besides your search history, absolutely nothing! Dabi sighs as he sits on the steps outside of his apartment, looking up to the night sky, waiting for you to answer on if you wanted to hangout or not. Either way he began to enjoy this new sight, this addition to his schedule was something he looked forward to more than his late night music sessions.

He was about to text you again, thumb hovering over the keyboard as he thought of what to say, but three dots appear and he decides to wait and see. You, being the sweetheart you are, tell him to wait and that you’ll meet him in ten. A warm feeling fills his chest again knowing you’d be here. It’s been happening a lot lately actually, and he’s not an idiot. He knows he likes you, he’s just never liked someone to this extent. Should he be embarrassed? Excited? Happy? Who the hell knows. All he knows is he would do anything for you, and his feelings towards you are only growing.

Dabi flicks his phone off after a minute and looks around, waiting for you to show up. While scanning the area, he heard frantic steps coming up the sidewalk that were approaching fast, in a panic. He jumps up to his feet to see who could be running his way, more curious than in the mood to save someone.

However, seeing you with tears running down your face wasn’t at all what he expected. He felt rage and worry surge through him, an almost animal like possessiveness took over him and the idea that something happened makes him sick with anger. His body moves without him thinking, his arms wrapping around you and holding you tightly, listening to your shaking sobs as you cling to him and begin to apologize.

“Hey- hey what happened?!” He asked sternly, sounding more pissed than worried, cringing slightly at his tone. Smart move asshole, make them feel even worse. Genius.

You stutter and begin to try and talk, but your throat is tight and your eyes are still pouring like waterfalls. You shake your head and clench your eyes shut again, burying your face into his chest as your knuckles turn white from gripping his sleeves for dear life. Dabi tensed, breath hitching as you hugged him tightly and began to shudder and weep into him.

Hands gently rub your back as he slowly walks with you, guiding you to the steps he was just at to help you sit down and get yourself together. “Who’s ass do I need to kick?”.

You giggle at that, wiping your eyes as you shake your head playfully “No ones Dabi...I’ve just been feeling super fucking depressed and stressed out because of work and I feel I have no time for myself anymore and...well I just needed to be with someone who understands”.

He was touched that you saw him as someone you could come too. Seriously have you seen him? He’s the worlds most selfish asshole! He can’t even trust himself half the time, especially when it comes to bothering people and pulling pranks. You might wanna reconsider who you’re trusting there.

Although hearing no one hurt you was calming, he was still worried for your wellbeing.

“I get it. I mean I’m not the best with comforting but I understand what you mean. It’s frustrating as hell not even having time to rest, and then having to head back to work for nine hours or more over and over...it ain’t easy”. He rubs the back of his neck as he speaks, already feeling the anxiety over his schedule for tomorrow.

Sniffling softly, you nod and scoot closer to him, his warmth soothing and comforting compared to the chilling winds of the night. “Yeah. And it doesn’t stop for decades. I’ll never have free time again or I’ll always feel tired and drained and I hate it”.

Now that’s not necessarily true, but he knows where you’re coming from. Every day lately seems like such a struggle, he knows it all too well. It was clear you needed more than to vent and rant, and he has just the thing to help the mood. “It’s not all that monotonous. I think you’re just overwhelmed and need a break. Wanna come in? I think we both need a drink and a few laughs”.

You fiddle with your hands a bit, looking down at your feet with lips pursed in thought. “I can stay the night?”. What kind of question is that? Seriously what kind of question?! You literally just cried into his shirt no problem, now you’re worried about personal space? “Dude, you really have to ask? Stay a fucking week if you want, just get your ass inside before I drag you in” he jokes.

You look away as you smile, standing up and dusting off your legs before heading into his apartment behind him. Maybe tonight he’ll get you to stop hiding that smile, to bring those walls down even more and let him show how amazing you are in his eyes. Just maybe.

((This was bad I know I know I just needed a way to vent -Mommabean))