#detaching from thoughts

[compassionmattersmost]

Neti Neti #21: Moving Beyond Mental Efficiency Toward True Stillness

Question: In my meditation practice, I’ve found that even as I use the mantra Neti Neti, my mind continues to plan and organize, almost as if the mantra is helping me to become more efficient in my daily tasks. How can I ensure that my practice is guiding me toward stillness and not just enhancing my mental activity? Dear Friend, In our practice, there are moments when the very tools we use to…

[hadaldemon]

dumb lil thought I had at work

Shadow Tako/Tako Milk form

[carlyraejepsans]

Screen recording of the band segment from chapter 3 so I can read the full lyrics without eating shit too badly

[lines-in-limbo]

I think people often see a competent character and assume that must cancel out any lingering effects of neglect, for instance. Like, just because someone is high-functioning- capable, disciplined, good at their job and the things they do, etc. - that doesn’t mean they haven’t internalized deep patterns of selfneglect or detachment from their own physicality. You can keep a classroom spotless and still not look in the mirror. You can be controlled and meticulous in your work, you can scrub your speech, master your walk, and still carry the weight of never being cared for- and the belief that your appearance isn’t worth the effort, because that’s what you learned growing up. Being “high-functioning” doesn’t mean you’re healed. It often just means someone learned how to get by, by excelling outwardly, while quietly abandoning parts of themselves they were never taught to value.

Snape’s hair isn’t nessesarily a sign of “poor hygiene,” in my opinion, but a reflection of how someone raised without care might treat their own appearance. He doesn’t nurture himself in the ways others expect. That doesn’t make him incompetent, but it speaks to what’s been internalized, to how care wasn’t modeled or prioritized in the world he came from.

I mean, yeah, he’s refined and changed certain things, but emotionally, he’s still stuck. Still spending summers in the same house he grew up in. Still lashing out from the same place of resentment. And his appearance, especially his hair, has not changed. It’s the one external detail that’s stayed the same from childhood to adulthood. That’s not something I think is accidental. It reflects something frozen, something unprocessed. That continuity is the point. It’s thematically consistent. And frankly, it makes more sense to me than chalking it up to potions fumes or practicality.

[zzoupz]

i see D&D AU. now i am curious about D&D swap au... :0

AU-ception, interesting.

[rookdaw]

monster X monster hunter

[anticidic]

not even lowkey, but high key thinking about how both Dazai and Chuuya since a young age used destructive behaviors to cope/feel something as they both struggle with feeling human enough in their own ways.

The state of Chuuya's mind at the start of Stormbringer reflects in an empty room with a bed, desk, and a liquor bottle on top. How he also stress smokes. Feeling alone and isolated in a way despite being surrounded by The Flags and others because he doesn't feel like he quite fits in. He's suddenly surrounded by people much older than him when he's a kid recently off the streets.

Similarly, Dazai struggling with ideation/attempts and also drinking and smoking from a young age. But the fact he drinks whiskey and shows a high tolerance when he's still a teenager is pretty concerning on its own.

They both lived in homes that lacked personality or gave insight to their hobbies or what they liked to do for fun. They were just places to sleep, roofs over their heads. Chuuya didn't know how to live, but Dazai also didn't as he willingly chose to live in a shipping container and isolate himself from others. It's part of the numbing. It gets him away from all the evil of the world, but also its better parts.

Dealing with mafia-related business and being exposed to violence and death on a constant basis rapidly desensitized them to the point of just being totally and utterly numb because at first they had to be, and now it's just a constant state of being. Dazai saw the worst of what humanity had to offer while in the mafia and he just progressively spiraled until defecting. Even Chuuya being on the streets as a kid and in constant survival mode was exposed to the uglier side of life. There's no time to think about playing video games when he had to worry about getting enough to eat and sleeping with one eye open. Now Chuuya constantly works because he's needed by the mafia, the people, the city.

Going through the motions of everyday life doesn't do anything for them and they look to destructive behaviors to feel something because, deep down, they both have the same fear of losing themselves entirely.

That fear of losing himself is so strong within Chuuya he resists corruption's influence to completely overtake him and he can still recognize faces and speak. He's forgiving sometimes to a fault despite being wronged a lot and it shows he doesn't let rage blindly consume him. He's lost so many people up until now that the times he's snapped and gotten vengeance are few and far in between, but it's normal for people to have breaking points. It's human. Just as Oda's death was the catalyst for Dazai leaving. And people have different breaking points.

[kidokear]

Random crack thought, but, and bear with me here, TFA Megatron (before Earth, ideally) somehow end up interacting with the Decepticons of another continuity, and he sees that they're doing better than his Decepticons (as in, hadn't lost yet) despite the Autobots of this world being bigger and more adapt at combat with some war frames of their own. And he's trying to figure out the differences (at least ones that he can control) and see what he can do to improve his odds.

He noticed that the chain in command is practically the same, that is with one exception. A third in command (I honestly don't know who's TFA Megatron's third or if he even has one, at least at the moment, so let's say he didn't have a third since their loss, OK?) Soundwave.

Now, he never known a Soundwave, both in Decepticons and Autobots ranks. So he's curious about this new mech who not only a chief officer, but also seem to be trusted implicitly by the other Megatron with both his back and the tasks he assigned to him (TFA Megatron has loyal subjects, Like Lugnut and Shockwave who would do anything in their power to serve him, but they tend to go overboard with their attempt to appease him and to show up each other. Soundwave doesn't seem to have such issues. If anything, he's quiet).

Another thing that caught his attention that the other Megatron is familiar with him, and doesn't have that detachment that TFA Megatron keep even with his more loyal solders. He favors him but not in a 'keep this up and I will keep reminding everyone of how well you're doing', but it a genuine acknowledgment of his competent and a job well done that is accepted quietly and without commotion or gloating.

Anyway that is all to say; TFA Megatron sees a Soundwave and decides "I need one of those." XD

[darkpsychprincess]

You never really knew me...

You knew the version I curated while you looked the other way.

[milocelium]

The thing about Andrew and Kevin is that even if Andrew talked about Kevin all the time and had some kind of feelings for him, Kevin was never going to have those feelings for Andrew. I think Andrew understood that the passion Kevin had towards him didn’t go any deeper than wanting him to play to his full potential on the court. The reason Andrew and Neil worked was because Neil cared about Andrew on a much deeper level than Kevin did. This isn’t to say Kevin didn’t care about Andrew, but he didn’t care about Andrew the way Andrew seemed to care about him.

[unfamiliar-ghostly-system]

As a created system I see "why would anyone WANT to be a system" a lot, and I think it's just interesting how different perspectives can be.

Because yes if you see plurality as inherently negative you are going to see someone creating plurality as self-descriptive or even offensive to people you consider 'actually' plural.

I created my system as a coping mechanism. It was never about other people or other systems (as in, no, this was never some scheme to "invade" system spaces or get attention). And of course I know that because it's my experience.

My point of this post is to sort of just say it's interesting to see the outside perspective on created plurality as a created plural.

[grmpgm]

🧿 Happy Jewish American Heritage Month! 🧿

[cecoeur]

There’s that momentary spark of joy but then it just becomes a little sad and hollow.

[captain-astors]

Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)

[toxictoad]

Good morning and happy Halloween everybody. Now suffer

Stanley Pines is the only father ever, actually.

(I'm gonna ramble under the cut now)

GODS the angst is killing me. I wish I had more energy to write because I would be stuck on route 4 forever. The geometry twins grow up knowing that Ford is their dad. Ford, who they're all trying to bring back for the twins' entire lives. They build him up in their heads- Stan tells them about his brilliant, dorky brother and smooths over the not-so-good parts because he isn't gonna badmouth a man to his own children, even if he is kind of a jerk.

But Ford didn't raise them, Stan did. Stan poured blood sweat and tears into this life for these kids, and the whole time he feels like he's stealing something, because Ford should be there. He should be there for their first steps or their first day of school or when they accomplish something.

But he isn't. And when Ford comes back there's a sort of expectation (As well as dread and bitter resignation on Stan's part) that he'll just become their father again. Stan fully expects to get put aside in favor of the twins' "real father".

But he isn't. Because even if they're stupid kids when Ford comes out of that portal Juno and Quentin know one thing:

Stanford Pines is their father, but Stanley Pines is their dad.

[thebluestbluewords]

parenting books did not prepare them for this:

"The Smee twins don't want to be boys anymore." 

Mal blinks. The parenting books didn't prepare her for this one. "Uh. Sure. Do they want to be girls?" 

Carlos shrugs. For some unfathomable reason, the Smee twins have decided that Carlos is the most trustworthy adult in the house, and have consequently decided that they're only going to talk to him when they need something. It keeps things nice and quiet, but it's also weird that they picked the guy who spends most of his free time researching better ways to make explosions as their singular safe adult. "Dunno. They didn't exactly say, so I figure probably not. Do we have books on this shit?" 

They have books on everything from feeding toddlers (thankfully not applicable - the Smee twins are old enough that they're willing to eat anything, and Celia and Dizzy haven't managed to procreate yet) to managing runaway teenagers, but they don't have any books on what to do when your sort-of-adoptive kids decide that they don't want to be boys anymore. "No." 

"Figures. Can we get some?"

"If you can figure out what books cover it, I'll misappropriate treasury funds to buy 'em," Mal decides. It might not even count as misappropriation if she can get Evie to write up a little blurb justifying the expense as part of the isle kid program. They got Celia and Dizzy's cell phones with official treasury funds. The magic that Evie's email connections can work is basically infallible at this point. "Do they want to cut their hair or anything?" 

"I didn't ask. There were a lot of tears." 

Mal winces. "Did you try and comfort them, or something?" 

Carlos's face is what she can only assume is a pained reflection of her own. "Yeah. But it didn't really work, so I just told them that they don't have to be boys anymore, and then I got them set up with chocolate milk." 

Chocolate milk is the ultimate comfort food. It's also the only way that any of their newest VKs will drink milk, which is proving both expensive in the finances department (Evie) and adventurous in the cereal department (primarily Jay). 

"Yeah, that's fine," Mal decides. If they're not actively wailing, everything is probably fine. "Do they want, like, to paint their room a different color?" 

"Crying," Carlos reminds her, like it's a complete explanation. "Didn't ask." 

"I can't ask them, they'll cry if I look at them wrong," Mal says, in a very measured and calm sort of tone. "Go back and ask if they want to paint the room, or cut their hair, or something." 

Carlos casts his most baleful look up at her. He really has to work for it too, because the universe is deeply unfair, and he's taller than she is now. "Crying." 

"Don't be a wimp." 

He groans. "I'm too young to be a single parent. You're aging me prematurely. Every time I do things like this I can feel my brain cells maturing." 

"Shut the fuck up and go talk to your kids."