#devoted friendships outside the family you’ve always had

[starlightandsunshine]

This might be kicking over a hornets nest but I think that Jedi/clone ships should be queerplatonic actually

[cheriden]

「 yours to claim 」 。。。

"A bond supposedly as thick as blood. Together, they shaped what would become of their dynasty out of rubble and poverty. A rite so sacred and ancient it brings out envy from outsiders who wish to share the same oath. A vow so sanctified, it rivaled that of marriage."

── synopsis 。Your presumably fated familiar is averse to your relationship dynamic, and makes an all-out effort to convey so.

pairing 。cat hybrid!taehyun × novice mage!reader

.ᐟ genre 。fantasy, (somewhat) angst, smut

.ᐟ tags 。forced proximity, enemies to lovers, dubcon kind of, forced proximity, (one-sided) enemies to lovers, hybrid au, master/servant dynamics, unintentional drugging, heat sex (kind of), dubcon (kind of), a bit of bloodplay (smearing, licking), use of leash, dirty talk, praising, sub!idol, handjob, orgasm denial, blowjob, cunnilingus, riding, missionary, pet names and etc (pretty, kitty, noona) au, master/servant dynamics

.ᐟ status & word count 。oneshot | 10.7k

.ᐟ warnings/notes 。i'm a stupid bitch who deleted the original again. reader is fem and uses she/her pronouns, sorry this took so long college started and i want to be in the dls :b !! this was actually done two weeks ago but i could not for the life of me write a smut scene so im just gonna post this now! sry its dumb and not proofread

You stand in the center of the colosseum, the moon round and at its peak with the wind howling violently. Taking a deep exhale, you stand up to the podium and dip the customary wand in a pot filled to the brim with some sort of luminescent concoction, chanting the rehearsed spell like a prayer in hopes that everything goes smoothly. Through squinted eyes, you take in the seats full of adults and youngins yet to commence in an identical rite—anticipation in their eyes as they watch the heir of the historic, most respectable coven known to man. 

You gulp down a lump that expands in your throat, focusing on your low whispering and the chanting of the guardians around you. They position the orb you’ve brought, or rather, the orb your parents insist you choose. Deep inhales, and you move your staff to point at the sphere, remnants of a gilded soul swirling around within it. The wand shoots its beam, a path of pink glitter and dust hatched from pixies trailing it as it knocks the sphere into the air. It rattles, darting in all directions across the space. You shift to cast, but a palm on your shoulder forbids you from doing so.

Rays of white and amber escape through the cracks, blinding lights beaming through the arena. The creature breaks free from its holding, paws alight with a soft puff onto the rough concrete. It's more petite than the rest of the hatched familiars, about as big as your hand—large glossy eyes that mirror the hue of the sun. Its black fur reflects fragments of the moonlight, white sheen gracing its fluffy coat. You're awestruck, watching it circle you. Hesitantly, you reach out to it, inching your index closer to its snout. It stares at you momentarily, right before hissing sharply, scratching the back of your hand. You're thrown harshly onto the ground, flabbergasted as the rest of the audience watches in silence. 

Your family has always been traditionalistic. For generations, the coven adhered to distinctly strict rules: The art and mannerisms in spellbinding and potion blending, the prerequisite liturgies for sacrifice, even the specificity of the bark and carvings on your staff. Though out of all of these customs, one shows itself more principal than the rest—one that must never change under any circumstance. A partnership that had begun since the dawn of your descendants’ upbringing, a sense of loyalty that is not to be broken. 

The coven had strong ties with the Kang bloodline, stemming from an age-old friendship, a bond supposedly as thick as blood. A lineage full of feline anthropomorphic shifters that once are of age, devote themselves as companions, better known as familiars. Together, they shaped what would become of their dynasty out of rubble and poverty. A promise of knowledge, hunting, foraging, and camaraderie; in exchange for security. A rite so sacred and ancient it brings out envy from outsiders who wish to share the same oath. A vow so sanctified, it rivaled that of marriage.

You, on the other hand, beg to differ—grumbling as you watch your mother slap a healing rune onto your hand, a direct result from the earlier encounter with your own so-called familiar. The rest of your family sing you praises and congratulatory remarks, calling around to see if anyone has seen the black cat recently. Your father exclaims that you're lucky, rounding the corner of the sofa to face you. He takes a seat beside you; says that black cats are the purest and truest form for a familiar. If the orb you've chosen was an indicator, it must've been fate. You scorn and whine, and he all but dismisses your complaints when the doorbell rings, revealing his own “fated” companion. Once inside, he drags an infuriated boy into the room, nearly knocking him into the carpet as he’s forced to kneel at your feet. 

"I apologize for him, he's been hard-headed and stubborn even before he got put in that globe." Instead of hiding himself from shame, he scowls, disdain painfully obvious on every surface in his body—he shakes from it. "This is Taehyun, he's a year younger than you. An expert at gathering, as well as cognitive thinking, especially in potion brewing." He scoffs, back straightening as he retorts, "I was 19 when you sealed me. I've been cramped in that stupid ball for nearly a decade." The older cat heeds no attention to his snark, continuing.  "What's fascinating is he remembers the time he spent within the orb. Realistically, there is no drastic change in his body and mind; which is why he's being a pain right now. I do hope you excuse him."  The older cat turns to the younger, “I do believe you owe the young master an apology. Fix the mess you’ve made.” Through no thanks of his own will, he takes your hand in his, bending over to lick a clean stripe over your wound. You jerk at the cold sensation, back strained off the seat. “Claimed familiars have healing properties,” The ginger hybrid clarifies, “blood, saliva, tears, anything.” The deathly glare the ravenette gives as he goes over the scratch with his tongue has you shivering, and you’re not really sure why. 

He pulls away with his mouth pressed into a thin line, threatening demeanor faltering when a sound erupts from his stomach. It takes every muscle in you to stop yourself from smirking at his diminishing attitude, getting off the armchair. "I'll show you the kitchen. Have any cravings? Fish? Milk?" He’s left unamused. "Cake. Now."

Taehyun’s tail swishes in the air, paws submerged in frosting as he engorges down the slice of strawberry pound cake. “I like you better when you’re in cat form. You’re so adorable and small.” He attempts to claw your fingers when they reach out to stroke the underside of his chin; it lasts for less than a few seconds, but he purrs into your touch before jumping off the counter. You giggle at his obstinance, and out of spite, he morphs into his human state, telling you to shut up. 

“Is this your way of thanking me? ‘Cause I learned how to bake a cake for this. Took me everything in the pantry for it.” He grumbles a small “not bad” and “thank you”, his ears and tail pop up—swaying silently as he finishes the cake with refined poise he lacked previously. “It’s also better because you can’t talk. But I also like it when you’re like this, you’re kind of anthropomorphic. You’re cute either way.” He flexes his biceps, trying to prove a point. “Is this cute?” With a small smile, you clear the table of crumbs and dishes. “Yeah. You still have icing on your face.” His confidence wavers, wiping the side of his mouth. “Get up, I’m gonna show you around the house, then we gotta head into town.” 

He picks himself up, following behind. “To do what?” You feign innocence, shrugging; so sure he’d resist with all his might if you told him the specifics. “We have to meet with an elder. Mom said so. Probably gonna fit you for new clothes after.” In an attempt to divert his attention, you pull him into the second floor, dark purple wallpaper contrasting the whites and yellows of the old portraits and photos nailed against it. The dark oak creaks beneath your feet, and Taehyun is baffled by the state of the place.

It’s gloomy and old, hosting as little color as possible with run-down floorboards. You giggle at how little he does to hide how appalled he is, explaining. “Nobody really uses this floor but me,” You comment, nudging over to the door furthest from the hall, “That’s my room. Over there,” You point at the neighboring rooms, “Bathroom and potion den. The rest are just storage for books, inventory, or ritual stuff.” Reaching the end of the hallway, you open the door to your room and plop onto the bed. The disparity of your living quarters has the ravenette nearly blinded, bright pastel walls perpendicular to the equally bright, fuzzy carpet. The room is plastered with posters and knick knacks of all sorts, a few colorful vials with saturated flowers blossoming beside your window. Beside it is an uneven cabinet with chipped paint of stars and other squiggly shapes, a direct outcome of no doubt your own doing. He peeks to see it’s spacier on the inside, basically its own cubby with a sewing machine and rainbow-assorted frills and cloth. He counts puffy dresses, short skirts hemmed with lace, a few undergarments embellished with sheer tulle. You shut it hurriedly, “The family won’t let me wear all that outside the house—or outside my room. They think I’ve gotten rid of this hobby,” You sign with air quotes, “So it stays here. They’ll have my head if they find out.” 

He shrugs, “I don’t really care.” Though his actions say otherwise, rifling through all the hangers. “Why don’t you just use magic on making these? More efficient.”

Lips pursed into a thin line, you answer. “It’s not as simple as waving a stick around, I don’t even have my own wand yet, not until I make something of myself. I haven’t really figured out what the elders mean by that.” You clasp your hands together, standing awkwardly near the doorframe. “So um, you can unpack and then we’ll head out.” He jumps out of the closet, facing you. “I’m staying here with you?” You eye him weirdly, “Yes. It is tradition for familiars and their masters to sleep in the same room.” He growls at the word “master”, picking his singular duffel bag off the floor. “No way. You have plenty of rooms you don’t use. Let me—” You cut him off by yanking the bag and tossing it onto the floor. “No. It’s essential for us to bond better.” He backs up slowly. “No way. I am not bonding with you.” You massage the bridge of your nose. “Our parents would throw a fit if they found out anyway.” 

Taehyun contemplates his options, entering the room again with a defeated sigh. “Do we have to sleep on the same bed?” 

Hoping the disgust on your face is evident, you reply. “Not willingly. The guardians wrongfully calculated the phase of the waxing gibbous, so we had to rush to have everything in time for the full moon. We’ll look for an old frame or buy a cat bed later in town, whichever you prefer.” 

He stays silent, annoyance directed towards you as you shove past him aggressively. “My bed or a piece of cardboard on the floor. Your choice.”

Taehyun squirms in the robes you lent him, sensitive to the fabric as it clings onto his skin, hood high to avoid the light that shines directly into his eyes. His mother forced him to wear something of status, but he has no idea what that means when he’s  just some rich girl’s pet. You're wearing the same robe but with the hood down, hair in pigtails as you skip through the streets greeting people. Despite his frustration, he peeks over your shopping scroll, scanning everything from top to bottom. “What are you making?” You hum, turning your head. “A bunch of orders from the neighboring city. Most of them don’t really have the mana to wield magic or bless potions.” He takes the list from you, inspecting it further. “We already shopped at the reptile place, did you forget to purchase snake venom?”

“It’s abhorrent that you believe I would forget buying such an integral part of our best-selling potion.” You reel at the assumption, walking faster. “Their supplier ran out, and I’d probably have to deal with a new merchant, if there are any left. It’s really scarce this season ‘round.” He’s annoyed at your annoyance, pacing beside you. “You should tell me these things. I’m supposed to aid in gathering.” You stop, mildly crossed at how he portrays it as if you were the one being unreasonable, the one at fault.  “You don’t even want to be my familiar. Why are you here?”

“The promise of a comfortable new cat bed and clothing of my own.” He rolls his eyes, “Your snake venom can be substituted with burrowing lizard limbs marinated in regular spider venom.” You light up at his words, leaning into him. He chokes on air as your face nears. “Really?” The other places a finger on your chest, pushing you off slowly. “Yes, really. It’s one of the direct ancestors of proto-snakes.” You raise a fist into the air, giddily jeering in place as Taehyun lowers his head out of shame for you. “Thank you so much! Now I don’t have to call for the Chois’ overpriced bulk.”

“The Chois’?” He asks absentmindedly, examining the scroll once again. “Yeah, their shop has nearly everything—that’s why the markup is so high. Everything’s all in one store. My  parents are trying to set me up with one of their sons, hoping we’d score some kind of deal if we get married.” The other notes the slight sulk on your face. “That’s a little…”

“Scummy? Old-fashioned? Utterly insane?” The other shakes his head, “I was gonna say too much information for me, but yeah.”

“Too much information? If anything you have too much information. Mixing ingredients and whatnot.”

“You have a funny way of calling me smart. I’m also good at math, fast arithmetics.” He doesn’t know why he’s telling you this, if the brag is to make you jealous or to get you to praise him. “Where’d you learn to do all that?” 

He shrugs, “Figured if I learned enough, I wouldn’t need to serve a witch.” Your brows pinch in guilt while you clear your throat. “I’m sorry about that.” Taehyun mimics your expression for a second before putting on a blank face and turning away. “You don’t have to, it’s not like you forced me to be trapped in that stupid orb.” His statements do not help to quell your thoughts, “Yeah, but I picked you.”

“It’s better this way, now I don’t have to spend another year in there. It was like an amniotic sac but worse. You couldn't push around.”

“What was it like in there?” You ask, to which he makes a sharp exhale. “Hell, for the most part. I kind of just thought a lot. Kind of like being a conscious fetus. But the more I’m out the less I remember.” You beam at the sparkle of hope, a desire to make it up to him though not a fault of your own. “That’s good! Let’s make you forget then.” Grappling his hand in yours, you run with him past the sea of individuals, off to cross off the rest of your tasks.

Taehyun picks up two suits made of leather, adding a pair of boots from the same material. The cart is filled with various garments of black and white, no shade in between and no vibrance of any sort. You sigh when he adds yet another blazer onto the pile. “You need house clothes and pajamas too, you know.” Dismissing it with a grumble, he retreats his hand to cross it over his chest. “These are fine.” You yank the piece out of his hands, feeling up the fabric. “I’m not dealing with your whining when you find it too hot in this. You’re fussy enough already, and you’re wearing light silk straight out of a bombyx’s anus.” He attempts to get the jacket back, a childish back and forth between the two of you. “It’s made up of a bombyx’s cocoon, you idiot. I’ll be fine.” You raise your hands in defeat. “Don’t come crying to me when you get overstimulated by stuffy latex.” 

The other pouts, sitting on one of the changing room benches. “I just wanted something nice. It’s my first ounce of freedom after years, after all.”

If he’s manipulating you by sharing a sob story and batting his long lashes at you—it’s working. However, you’re not that gullible. “Two of whatever you want, then two sets of casual clothing and pajamas.” His doe eyes turn sharp with a grunt, “I’m an adult. I don’t need sleepwear.” You counter, “I’m older than you, and I wear them.” 

“I’m older than you!” You plop down the seat across from him, crossing your arms. “Mentally, sure. But physically? Not. You’re forgetting all that time now anyways.” He rolls his eyes, legs spreading as he sinks onto the chair. “Besides,” You add, trapping his figure in between your arms, “I’m your master. Not like that matters either, since I’m paying. You earn the right to choose when you start earning from our apprenticeship.” He snarls, breathing heavy. “So what do you say?”

He’s silent for a few seconds, staring at the space beside you. “Fine.”

Except he’s not fine with this predicament. You’re across from him, cooing at the boy in a pastel blue, wool pants and top decorated with stripes and stars. “No.” 

You frown, tossing him the next set of your choice. “Well, you’re not giving any recommendations. I had to guess what you liked.” He shuts the curtain behind him, stomping as he unravels the guess that you’ve made. “So you thought I would enjoy pink shorts with cupcakes and caricature cats on them?” 

“They’re satin!” You defend. “Just try it, I have the same at home~” Snickering at the audible disapproval, you’re surprised to see him actually shuffle to try it on. It’s quiet in the dressing room, until he pokes his little head out. “Does yours look exactly like this?”  You trace its cut-out to him. “It’s kind of like a night-dress instead of a tank top and shorts. Same print I guess.” He steps out of the booth, dropping a mountain of clothes onto your lap. “I’ll take these—and this.” he mumbles it so low it’s almost inaudible, pointing at the pink shorts and loose top from earlier. You nod, trying your best not to laugh, or pout at his cuteness, or anything to get him to drag this on further. 

Turns out, Taehyun wasn’t kidding about the cat bed. “You sure you want these? We can scrounge up allowance to buy you an actual bed.” He shakes his feline head as his paws mark onto the felt pillow, testing it by stomping on it profusely. He shifts back, standing next to you. “It’s fine, doesn’t really matter to me. It’ll save you space too.”

After transforming once again, his stomach plunks down on a pink fleece cushion, yellow paw prints and ribbons patterned across the cloth. It almost makes you melt, the image of his cute cat self playing around in your room. The illusion dissipates just as soon as it comes, as you remind yours;f of his personality. You’re not sure if time could change how hostile and unwelcoming he was to you, and that thought heightens your anxiety to newer levels. If you couldn’t even get along with your own familiar, a creature known to be so loyal and docile to its owner, how were you supposed to take your place in this world? Become the one to lead a new generation of young mages? Uphold the reputation of a family so well-regarded?

The shopkeep, or rather his son, comes by with a smile on his face, knocking you out of your deep thinking. “It’s my first time seeing you here. New pet?” You hum in agreement, pointing at Taehyun. “Sort of, my familiar wants a cat bed.” The boy follows your finger, giggling. The aforementioned rolls around on the soft fabric, face rubbing against the sides. “He seems like he loves it.”

He moves behind the displays to drag something. It’s a pet tree, scratch posts and dangling toys asymmetrically branching from the base. “That’s actually part of a new collection we just got,” he expounds, moving Taehyun to explore the collection—like a child’s first time on a playground. “We just got it, and I’d think your cat would love it.” He talks as if Taehyun can’t hear him. Nevertheless, the cat roams over the space, purring as he rubs his side against the post. “I don’t think I can afford it right now.” You say, keeping your hands pressed tightly behind your back. The other hushes you, hauling the set over to the register. “Don’t worry, it’s on me. I’ll ship it to your place some time next week. Besides, I kind of owe you for saving my life that one time.” You both smile sheepishly, looking away from each other. “You were gonna live anyway.”

“Still, I appreciated it. Your partner deserves something good to sleep in.” Smiling, you pull the other in for a tight hug, murmuring a plethora of “thank you”s. 

The door chimes behind you with a ring. Taehyun asks “Who was that?” Eyes twinkling at the food vendors. In increments, he swerves your walking direction, gaze locked onto the pastry stall. “Kai, we used to go to preschool together. I saved him from drowning, but I’m certain he’d live even without my help.” Tapping the glass, he turns to narrow his eyes at you, “You know he fancies you right?” You raise a brow, “What? No way.” The other tugs at your purse, grunting. “He gave you a—whatever that was. I’m positive it would’ve been hundreds of gold.”

You hand him the chocolate-filled pastry, tail swishing at its aroma. “It was for saving him.” He takes a big bite out of it, voice muffled as he replies, “You said it yourself, he would have lived. He just wanted an excuse to flirt with you, be in your good graces.”

“He doesn’t need to do that, he’s good looking and kind. Anyone who’s anyone would like him.”

“Do you like him?” You pause, having never really regarded him in such a manner. “Not like that, no.” The other clicks his tongue, “You’re leading him on then.” You turn a deaf ear to his provocations, marking the familiar signboard.  Grabbing his forearm, you shush him, “Shut up, we’re here.”

The tavern is filled with all kinds of books and crystals, you take in the way they shimmer against the dim string lights hastily nailed onto the wall. The shell door curtain clatters, revealing an old lady in a lilac tunic, cane hitting against the floor. Her smile turns her eyes into crescents, gesturing at you to come with her. You shadow her as she flops onto her chair, the two of you settling onto a floor seat. 

“I’ve received your call from earlier. It is no issue, these happen all the time.” Taehyun looks around, confused yet too prideful to inquire. “For starters, we must draw blood from each of you; a drop will suffice.” The boy's skepticism grows, finding it odd when you stick your tongue out. He does the same, stopped by the elder almost immediately. “Only the young lady. Your arm will do.” 

The lady brings out two incredibly thin needles, pricking you both at the same time. “To develop the bond pendant properly, you must stay within close proximity with each other. The next few weeks will be the most crucial to form it.” 

Taehyun’s body shoots up, backing up against the wall. “You didn't tell me you were going to bond me!” 

Cornering him, you stutter, trying to find the proper words. “You wouldn’t have agreed to come! We were never gonna bond naturally, you hate me!” He scoffs, “Obviously! You forcing me without my knowledge is not doing you any favors!” You hold him tighter as he thrashes against you. “With that bond, I’d be weak against your wishes. It’s as good as mind control!” He bellows, nails seeping into your shoulders. You hold back a yelp of pain, biting the inners of your cheek. “I would never do that! Do you have such little faith in me? That’s not even how bonding—” 

“The pendant’s objective is to strengthen your forming bond. I’d advise against an unbonded pair.” The lady chimes in calmly, “It would only cause more pain in the long run than do you any good. Especially for you, hybrid. Your body would slowly deteriorate, seeing as its main purpose is to serve its master; that’s what the sealing rite did to you.” Taehyun's face contorts in horror, waving her warnings off. “I’m fine with those chances. My life wouldn’t be mine anyway. I’d rather spend whatever fleeting moments I’d have free than under the spell of some neophyte witch.” He spits, shoving you to the ground and racing out of the clinic.

The sun dips into the horizon, sky violet as you trudge back to your home. Searching for him would be a futile hunt, he’d just slip out of your hands again. What he needed was space, a clear mind; as a matter of fact, you needed it too. Your stomach lurches in anxiousness, telling yourself he’s part cat after all, he’ll find his way back without a scratch on him. Despite the cries of wolves wail in the night, you will yourself to go further.

You lock the gates, a subtle frown on your mothers face when she makes out your figure in the dark. The manor and its lawn are coated in pitch black, with the exception of the warm glow peeking from the windows. “We were waiting for you for hours.” She says, voice laced with worry. “I was out looking for Taehyun.” You respond, moving past her. “He was here hours ago.” Your dad adds, halting you in your tracks. “What?” The two nod, pointing up to your room. “It’s past supper, and he’s not had a bite to eat. Cook him whatever he likes, he seemed like he was in a sour mood.”

How ridiculous. Mayhaps it’s a reach, but you pick apart their words for hidden subtext. You’ve done your hardest to ensure a comfortable stay and treat him as an equal and your parents nag and undermine both those efforts. They treat him no better than a cat, or perhaps they treat you as if you were his maid.

You slip into house slippers, fuzzy and contrasting the stiff arch of your trekking boots. It’s a small comfort, yet it eases your mind the most. The tension returns just as it disappears, cautiously stepping your way up the flight of stairs. The floor is eerily silent, air dry and hall dark, aside from the small light emanating from your bedroom, door ajar. You inch closer and closer, rustling of wood and shuffling of feet making itself more coherent. 

You try to peek through the gap, gasping and barreling inside once you see the ghastly sight in front of you. The carnage of all your hand-crafted pieces are torn to shreds and reduced to uneven textiles across the ground, sullied and unsalvageable—beyond repair. 

Tears clump at your eyes, threatening to spill as your mind races at a million words per second—yet no sound comes out, lips tucked between your teeth. You hold yourself back, knuckles whitening as you clench them. “What have you done?” You curse at yourself, always the ugly crier when outraged. His conduct is firm and anchored, face of ice and stone as he strides over. “You took away my freedom, and I took away your only escape from your burdensome reality.” He leaves you to hunch over your discarded creations, hiccuped and hushed breaths filling the air.

You’ve sacrificed much, yet you’ve yet to hear of the rewards. Were you bound to end up without companionship? Or have you decided not to let all of your hardships wilt away in vain? 

You’re tired, sluggish and lifeless as you drop onto your mattress, cries muffled through your pillow.

How do you scream at the top of your lungs a secret and a shame not even your parents are aware of? Would you still be punished, knowing the remnants of your art are now fuel to your fireplace, oxidizing into smoke, and then into nothing? What about the humiliation that you couldn’t even keep a conversation with your assumed life-long companion?

You decide that the best next thing is to arrange for company, not for one, but three of your friends—under the guise of them calling to court you outdoors. You rush out the door with hasty goodbyes, stopped at the front by your father. “Bring your familiar with you! He’ll tell you which brother is best to keep.” 

Keep, he says. As if the others, your friends, are to be scrapped like pawns. He talks big, as if Taehyun could sniff out your best pair, as if he knows you well enough to gauge what you like. Truthfully, you have not spoken or even seen him in weeks, passing each other in common areas and during meal times without so much as shared eye-contact. Your mouth opens to protest, but he’s quick to shoulder the hybrid out the door, a loud clunk of the lock behind him.

Strolling into town, your movements are constrained and awkward, weary of the ravenette as he keeps his distance at all times. Ironically, this is when you’re most in sync with each other. You step forward, he follows, and when you step back, he does the same. You try to widen that interval, but he’s precise with his footing, setting his pace to match yours. 

When you reach the cafe, you check twice for the address sent. It’s hidden from the square and difficult to navigate, but find it worth it as you ogle at the building. It’s a greenhouse made entirely out of glass, the whole layout in your view. A pair of outstretched arms wave at you, beckoning you to come in. You walk through the marble path surrounded by water, fountains dancing as the crashing of water and chirps of birds ring in your ear. Even with transparent walls, it does not do the interior justice, beholding the vision of fluttering insects, swimming koi, the blossoming array of seasonal flora, and overhead skyline.

You unbutton your cloak, dark and unseemly in such a wonderful setting. It reveals a pink sundress, one you spent sleepless nights repairing by hand. They smile as you drop the hood onto the tile, sitting on 

“Who’s this?” You spare no glance at their inquiries, humming. “That? That’s Taehyun.” They greet an awkward “Hi Taehyun,” and he doesn’t reply or acknowledge them in any way. One of them poke their heads out to inspect him. “Are you not going to introduce us?” 

You scoff. “Does it matter?” The siblings nod and look at you incredulously. “Fine.” Your face is stern and unmoving, gaze bored and unfocused. You don’t turn to address the ravenette, not even a contraction of muscle. “Yeonjun,” you start, pointing to the copper-haired boy. He sends a wink over you both, earning mutual disgust. “Soobin,” your index moves to the blonde, smiling meekly. “And Beomgyu.” The brunette tilts his head, tongue poking his cheek as he stares at Taehyun. “Sit with us.” He says, and the shorter shakes his head. He shakes off the rejection, “You’re affiliated how?”

“He’s my familiar.”

The three are rendered motionless, shocked. “You’ve bonded, and yet no say of mouth.”

“We are not bonded!” You say in unison. Clearing your throat, you continue. “We’ve not bonded. Now quiet; I’m here to gossip. I’m here to buy fabric and ribbon.” Soobin chuckles at your business posture, head high and hands draped on top of each other. “You just bought more than a crate-worth of them! The poor packhorse was put on probation afterwards.”

You sigh loudly “And I apologize. I run through material quickly.” The eldest picks up a strawberry danish, offering it to the boy standing guard. Taehyun is unsure of his intentions, but takes him up on it. “Your dad still hounding you about tying the knot?” You scoff, teeth gritting. “It’s all he talks about, now that I’ve got the familiar ordeal under my belt. Which one of you unlucky bastards am I going to end up with?” They cackle at your exasperated expression, brunette scooting closer to link his arms in yours. “I’d be lucky to have such a talented mage as my wife.” Soobin rolls his eyes, elbowing the younger. “I called dibs first, you imbecile!” You chuckle, taking a sip out of the raspberry chai. “Ladies, ladies. Plenty of me to go around.” The blond pouts, retreating to his seat. “I don’t want to get auctioned off for anyone else for the sake of business! I’d rather it be a friend I can tolerate.” It’s a half-lie, half-truth.

“You just want to wed me for my mana and free stuff. Plenty of sorcerers competent enough for that.” He whines in response. “It’s not the same, we would be roommates with tax benefits.”

The brunette shakes his head, stuffing his mouth full of chocolate. “How absurd. Have you given up on finding greater love?” He says it with conviction, as if he wasn’t just trying to get the other to stop courting you. “Greater love,” Soobin mocks, “such a thing is fickle and ever changing. Too difficult for me to comprehend” Beomgyu shrugs at his loss of lust for life. “Everything is difficult for you to comprehend, you dunce.”

“Just wait ‘til we get back home you—” Yeonjun sighs, fingers massaging the bridge of his nose. “That’s enough. Just jot down what you need, and I’ll calculate them from you.” You smile, resting your head on the table. “No best friend discount?” He tuts, faking a punch. “We sell them to you without interest. That’s the discount.” You feign hurt, “How cheap of you.”

The rest of the noon rolls by  seamlessly, the four of you indulging in child-like mannerisms and meaningless topics. By the second hour mark, Taehyun speaks up without prompting. “I don’t think you’re fit for any of them.” The three purse their lips and look away, busying themselves with food. You roll your eyes, “Who asked you, Kang?” He doesn’t even look at you, following the colorful wings of a butterfly, tail swishing in focus. “Your father told me to. If this is all, I would like to head back to the manor now.” So he listens to the irrational whims of your father, but not to you? “Go back home and do what? So you could lick yourself clean and lounge around the living room, being a waste of space?” He huffs in irritation, “A better way to spend my time than watching you galavant around town.” You stand, stomping over to him. “I’m rebuilding the closet you tore apart, asshole.” 

Soobin lets out a strained laugh, “Okay, let’s just calm down–” You strike his arms away,  “No. This blockhead ruined what I’ve worked so hard on for over a decade and a half. He has offered no condolences or apologies.”  Taehyun laughs arrogantly, stepping forward. “I’m not your servant.”

“You’re right. You’re lower. You sleep in my house, eat my food, and shit in my bathroom without giving anything in return. You’re a leech.” His jaw clenches at your words, eyes boring into yours as your chests heave. You challenge him, brows raising as if to ask him what his next quips would be. Without another sound, he storms off, slamming the door with a force that almost cracks it. 

Luckily, the cafe was nearly empty, saving yourself and your friends from embarrassment. You slump into your seat, eyebrows furling. Yeonjun breaks the silence, slowly reaching for a napkin. “You need to fix whatever’s going on between you two.”

“I know that, obviously.” You bite, heaving a dramatic sigh. “Everytime we talk to each other we end up fighting, I’m at a total loss.” Beomgyu reclines, suggestion in mind. “You should try Nepeta.” Your ears perk up, leaning inwardly. “As in… Catnip?” Soobin snaps his fingers, piling on. “Oh yeah! I think it has sedating properties that also induce oxytocin and serotonin, kind of like a get-along herb. It's used in pharmaceuticals for humans and especially on cats, so you might get him to relax around you.” Honestly, you never bothered to look into biomedicine, seeing as all your home remedies are holistic and passed down through families. “Where can I get some?” 

The three point their heads over to the garden-patch, dragging you along with them.”

There’s no way this was going to work; you’re fairly confident you weren’t gonna go through with it anyway. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious. On the counter sits an eighth ounce of Catnip, inelegantly situated in a plastic bag. You’re unpersuaded of what to do with it, ashamed that you had to resort to such methods. Not like anyone would see, since the adults have left home for one of their yearly conferences, and it wouldn’t be a week or so until they return. Everyone else, besides you and Taehyun. You have to get rid of it fast—unwilling to be at the receiving end of yet another one of his haughty expressions. You attempt to focus, exhausting all your options. It would dry up by tomorrow’s eve, and you wouldn’t want it to go to waste. Dashing over to the cupboards you take out an array of pans and bowls. 

Your mind fails to register the sheer laughability of what you just spent two hours on, staring blankly at the fruit of your efforts. The pungent fumes waft into the air, brownies idle on the table as you poke into it. The chocolate all but oozes onto the plate, thin crust crunching against the utensil. They look… Really good. Good for a novice baker, good for someone who stuffed a bunch of inhibitors into the recipe haphazardly. You shouldn’t beat yourself over it, seeing as you only mixed half of what was in the bag. Why let such precious food go to waste? You recall the boys’ statements on how it’s as good as harmless for human consumption, hesitantly biting into one of them. You grin, nodding in approval as you scarf down on at least half of the pan. Your gluttony proves itself to be overboard, eyes growing heavier. They did say it had sedative properties. Yawning, you seal the rest of the baked goods into an air tight tupperware, scribbling your name onto the side with a sticky note and a marker.

The sound of clattering wakes you from your light slumber, along with thudding from the first floor. It’s probably the hybrid, but you could never be too certain, grasping for any heavy object to defend yourself with. Your tip-toes do nothing to muzzle the creek of the stair boards, dropping your makeshift weapon when you confirm that it’s just Taehyun. He’s panting on the sofa, legs sprawled over the cushions and floor. Inching closer, you observe his sickly state, sweat rolling down his face and ears downcast. 

You're not really sure what to say, unknowing of what to offer to make him feel better. “Are you fine? Do you need anything?” His eyes are glossy and his words come out nearly in whimpers. “Fine! I’m fine, just need my bag.” The implication of him being so ill that he’s unable to grab a bag a few feet from him alarms you, and you hurry to feel his body temperature through his forehead. He swats your hand and snatches the satchel out of your hands, discarding it on the floor when he shakes the pops the cap of his pill bottle. You read the sides as he shoves a few into his mouth, sinking back into the sofa in an attempt to get comfortable. “You have heat cycles?!” The other covers his ears at your voice, curling up with a pillow. “It used to be bearable, I don’t know what’s wrong with me these days.” He buries his head into the cushions, biting down hard. “Can you just get me water or something? I feel like I’m fucking dying.” Nodding frantically, you sprint through the room to get into the kitchen. You’re really not sure if it would help, but you collect ice, placing them into a cheesecloth as a compress. You pivot to open the tap, freezing in place as you see the dirty dishes in the sink. “Did you finish the brownies?!” You yell, receiving no answer from the other. Stomping over to the living room, you hand him the glass and compress, sitting cross-legged on the coffee table. You repeat it, looking into his eyes and emphasizing every word. “Did you eat my brownies?” He scoffs, and looks away, a clear indicator that he did. You roll your eyes and get up the seat, pacing around the room. “I’m on the brink of death and you want me to be sorry for your shitty brownies?”

“They had my name on it, Taehyun!” He groans, massaging the bridge of his nose. “Fine! I ate your stupid brownies. Now can you please stop talking? My head is spinning.” You rock back and forth, “This is bad, should I write to my parents? Should I write to your parents? Who the fuck should I get?” Confused, the other tilts his head at you. “Are we on the brownies or my thing?”

“My thing!” You exclaim, “Taehyun, those brownies were chock full of catnip.” He rises from his position, eyes wide and disturbed. “You drugged me?!” You blink, stunned. “I didn’t drug you! It wasn’t even for you!”

He hauls his feet to the bathroom, letting the faucet run as he grips the sides of the sink tightly. “The catnip wasn’t for the cat? Sure, whatever.” You stutter, keeping your distance by standing idle at the door. “I didn’t even know cat hybrids could digest chocolate.” He splashes his head with cold water, a half-witted attempt to get him to cool down. “I’m part human, you idiot!” Crossing your arms, you lean against the frame. “Am I supposed to guess? You have the stomach of a human and have the libido of a cat?” With a glare, he bumps past you, settling into the couch once again. “It’s in the family books—books you were supposed to read for your familiar!” He heaves a long breath, running his hands across his face. “What’s the point? You don’t take good care of me.” You laugh incredulously. “Eat shit. You don’t even let me around you.”

“You want to be around me?” He challenges, taking your hand and placing it on top of his slacks. He’s looking up at you from his seat, pulling you down to reach him. “Then help me out; it’s partially your fault anyway.” Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest, eyes flickering between him and the tent pitched in his pants. “I don’t think—” He cuts you off. “You’re my master, right? You take care of me.” He tugs you once again for you to hang over him, grinding against the arm between his crotch.

The morality of these actions are blurry, but you’re at your wit’s end with this—with everything surrounding the hybrid. You chew on your lower lip, closing your eyes as you let him guide you, tugging at his bottoms and resting them an inch above his knee. When his cock springs free, he keeps his other hand on top of his mouth, unsuccessful at restraining the moans that pass it. You’re in awe, mouth agape as his left wraps tightly around your right hand, fingers a step short from interlocking. “Move, I’m doing all the work here.” Taehyun orders like he’s owed, like he’s entitled to getting off with your hand. “You seem to be mistaken,” You state sternly, separating your hold from his. “I am helping you. I am doing you a favor, not the other way around. So ask nicely.” You take your frustrations out on his dick, a rollercoaster of speed as you take the pace from dangerously fast to painfully slow when you feel him near his peak. His pleas lodge in his throat, hips bucking into your fist and grip on your shoulders firm, like he was afraid you were going to pull away. You do, huffing loudly as you dramatically yank yourself away. He mewls, grasping at your unmoving hands. “Wha–why did you–”

“Ask me nicely.” He makes a noise that’s in between a scoff and a whine, “Are you insane?” You straighten your posture, feigning intention of leaving. “You can get off by yourself then.” His mouth drops slightly, clawing your arms. “No–wait!” He turns your head to face him, eyes glistening with an emotion you can’t quite figure out. “Please.” Clearing your throat, you compose yourself. “Please what?”

He inches closer, breath fanning your face as he trembles. “Please let me come.”

You really shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as you do, thighs clamped together as you desperately try to ignore the feeling that resonates in your core. Biting your lower lip, you watch the other basically salivate at nothing. A beat barely passes after you nod, jumping you with such vigor it knocks you back onto the armrest. Now he’s the one hovering over you, chest rising and falling so rapidly you almost fear for him. 

The concern is overshadowed by your surprise when he crashes his lips onto yours, teeth grinding as he licks all over your mouth, forcing your hand onto his member. His eyes screw shut at the cool skin, precum coating the rest of his shaft. You can still taste the brownies on him, and it’s no doubt the reason he’s licking you all over, in search of more. 

“A-ah I’m gonna–.” You don’t say anything, don’t look at him; eyes focused on his dick as you work it up and down with swift flicks of your wrists. Your other hand is situated in between your legs as you listen to all the different sounds in the room: The squelch of your hand, the whimpers from Taehyun, the heavy pants both you and him take. He yelps as he releases into your hand, white seed painting your bare stomach. You hadn’t even noticed your shirt was half up. You’re unmoving, unsure of what to do next. The ravenette inspects the mess he’s made, the mess he’s made out of you—backing away slowly before bolting out of the manor.

It’s been days since you’ve talked to Taehyun, and the tension between you has been replaced, from anger to something neither of you are entirely sure of, though you have an inkling as to what it may be. Shoving it at the back of your mind, you stir the cauldron with a long rod, asking the boy what step comes next. 

This is what you’re both good at—what you should have stuck to doing all along. It’s not so suffocating, you could even say it was bearable. This is what you desired. You don’t require friendship or some bond, what you necessitated was a competent co-worker and assistant; that’s what he’s here for.

You may have spoken too soon, a furious burst of light and smog rippling through the room. The pot and its contents spill onto the floor, glass shards landing all over the place. You land flat on your back, eardrums ringing. The only thing you can make out is ash, bits of gray and black swirling in midair. "What the fuck! You could've gotten me killed!" Taehyun scoffs, dusting himself off, no attempt to help you up. "Big deal, you screwed up the solute to solvent ratio." The accusation is both baseless and wrong, you would never blindly estimate measurements for tasks such as this. "How dare you I would never make such a—" 

All of a sudden, it clicks. You would never make such a rookie mistake, and neither would he. "You were trying to kill me on purpose!" He crosses his arms, leaning against the wall. "If I wanted to, you would've been dead by now."

"Then what the fuck was that! Or are you such an airhead that you couldn't even do what you say you’re so good at properly?" An unamused laugh exits him, nostrils flaring at the implication that he would be so careless. "I just wanted a small explosion so that I could report you as unfit to hold a familiar in your care! Not my fault you overdid it." 

"My fault?" You yell, grabbing the other by the chin to face you. "You ungrateful piece of shit. I feed you and nurse you to health and you've done not a damn thing but bitch about nothing of substance. You should thank the elders they gave you someone like me." He keeps his eyes shut, muttering profanities. In all his ineffectual attempts to break free, he never lays a finger on you. 

It's odd, and as you watch his biceps flex as he tucks his arms in between his legs, you don't believe that he's too weak to overpower you. Cocking your head to the side, you kick his arms out of his front, prying his hands apart. He curses as you gape at the view, leather stretched to its capacity as a noticeable bulge plants itself beneath the cloth. Your gaze finds his, irises shimmering like molten gold. It fades just as soon as it shows; your heart booms through your chest, and suddenly you find it hard to breathe.

He has bonded you.

“You pervert.” Claws protruding, he pounces forward, causing you to fall onto cobbled ground. It digs the flesh of your throat, piercing skin yet carefully maneuvered to not hit anything vital. He doesn’t add pressure, nor decrease it. Blood splatters across your collarbone when you move to take hold of his wrists, no force needed as he submits without resistance. “Look at what you did to my neck, it’s all tattered and ugly!” You scold, fingers clenched at the root of his scalp as you tug him over. “Kiss it better.” Amidst his whimpers, he swiftly climbs onto your lap, wet pecks all over the crimson dripping down your nape. You click your tongue, untangling your fingers to stroke the back of his head. “You’re still sick, Kitty. You get off my violence, and act like a brat when you don’t get what you want.” His ears twitch at your comments, leveling with you. “Hands off me. Now.” You roll your eyes, discounting his empty threats. “You didn’t seem to hate my hand when you force-fucked yourself into it last time.” His snarl grew more venomous, replying, “I’ll kill you.” The corners of your lips raise, tracing his cheek with your fingers. “As if. You need me.”

“I need you?” He amuses, knee jabbing right in between your legs. “I can smell your cunt from here. It’s not exactly subtle. You reek.” A haughty sound makes its way through you, lightly grazing the fabric of his slacks. “And you’re practically leaking. I’m not taking shit from someone who can’t even stop themselves from humping someone they hate so much.” You palm him through the cloth, and he elevates his hips into your touch.  “But I’m a kind owner, so who am I to take no notice of someone in need?” He grunts, “Not my owner.” You coo, “Sure. Now be good for me for a sec.” He murmurs curses, staying still regardless. He anticipates your hand, short-circuiting at the sudden heat from the tip of your tongue. It swirls the head of his dick, and you look up to find the other staring back down at you. You kiss at the sides before dipping your head, a sharp exhale leaving the other. You instruct him to keep his arms behind him, and he fights with himself as nothing actually binds him from keeping his hands to himself. He’s mewling and moaning and thrashing in your hold, high screeches and low moans sending waves straight to your mouth. “‘Can’t do it, ah—need it deeper.” He sighs, pressing a palm to the back of your head and forcing himself down on you. You hold back a gag and glare at him, dragging your mouth off his cock with a resounding pop. 

He whines at the loss of you, head thumping onto the wooden floors. "Why—” Wiping the sides of your mouth, you sit up. “This is gross.” He scrambles upward, “But you started—” You’re easy to dismiss him, although your complaints were nothing but a farce. “I don’t care. This is gross, and I get nothing in return. If we’re keeping score, you’ve done nothing to please me.” He narrows his eyes at you, leaning forward. “Please you? I don’t need to do that.” Rolling your eyes, you match his challenge by leaning in too. “Don’t need to or can’t do it?” he gulps, eyes shifting to the side. “I’m not falling for your manipulative tactics.” You tilt your head innocently. “I’m not asking you to,” You feign offense, “but wouldn’t it be better if you came with my mouth, instead of something so pathetic like your own hand? Aren’t you sick of it yet?” The hybrid stays silent, thinking heavily as his tail rocks slowly. 

“What do you want?” You smirk, pulling the other’s disheveled self through the hall as you make your way into your room. You slam it shut behind you and fiddle with all the locks, skipping over to the dresser. 

“See, you’ve ruined all that’s important to me. It’ll take me months–no, a year to finish all this again.” You sigh, acting hurt. “It’s only fair that we do something about it, no?” The other’s mind goes to the worst of places, tail stiffening as he asks, “Are you gonna make me dress up?” The look on his face is priceless, he’s obviously scared and on high alert, gaze shifting in distraught. “I mean, as long as it’s not super degrading maybe I—” Your laughter cuts through his rambling, clutching your stomach. 

“Aren’t you adorable?” Patting the empty space next to you, he settles down timidly, shuffling in his seat. “Thanks for your open mind, but your little temper tantrum cost me everything in my inventory. So no, I have nothing for you. Maybe next time?” Taehyun exhales a breath he didn’t know he kept, nodding. You play with the neckline of his blouse, “But since I have nothing, you shouldn’t have anything either.” You tilt your head with a smile that almost feels threatening as it looks innocent, “Strip.” 

The hybrid shimmies out of his garments, shifting nervously on the bed. He feels cold and exposed, blush coating his porcelain body. “Now I just have one last thing for you.” You take out some sort of collar from behind, placing  it onto your lap. It’s pink and frilly, no doubt a creation of your own. The sides are decorated with metal spikes and chains, seemingly sharp but dull and harmless to the touch. “Where did you even get this?” You shrug at his question, linking the accessory onto a chain. Taehyun’s tail tucks in between his thighs. “I know it doesn’t match you, but we’ve got to work with what we’ve got, no?” You reply, securing the piece on him. He’s patient and quiet as you fasten the collar, tugging between it and his neck for allowance. “You look so cute.” 

The ravenette says nothing, but his tail sways at your words, pink flushing deeper through his ears and cheeks. For a while, the two of you are just staring at each other. You note his smooth skin and slender figure, caressing the sides of his arm. He shivers at your contact, some fingertips more calloused than others. He takes in the darkening red across your mouth and neck,  skirt hiking up as your body shifts to kneel beside him. Call it impulse or passion—you both lean in at the same time, kissing soft and slow as his hands wander around your waist. He snakes them up your chest and unhooks your bra, heaving your shirt above your head. He cups your cheek, brushing it slowly. It’s almost chaste and virginal, void of any sexual intent and malice. 

But you remind yourself why you’re here in the first place. You bite down on his bottom lip—metallic tang coating your tongue. You part from him with a trail of saliva, blood flowing in steady beats. You smudge it across his cheeks with a satisfied smirk. “You can’t tell yourself it’s because of your rut anymore.” He keeps his head down. “You're forcing me to.” You sigh in return, inching closer. “You have a lot of false notions on bonding, Taehyun.” Leaning over, you place soft pecks onto his face.  “This is what you want. You can leave anytime you desire, have anything you desire.”

Taehyun blinks heavily, right before he takes your lips in his again. It’s carnal—it’s him; letting go of his inhibitions and the potential consequences of his actions. He accidentally nips the mound of your lip with his canine, a soft squeal sounding off your lips and into his. He thinks it the most delicious sound he’s ever heard. 

He wants to hear more, see more, but all he can do is kiss you deeper. He licks the blood off your mouth, sucking on the cut until it stops streaming. That’s not how that works, you know he knows. He savors the taste of it, only relenting when you tug at the collar. “You’ve hurt me again, are you sure you’re not doing it on purpose?” You say it with an adequate amount of confidence, but your eyes are downcast—hands trembling. He shakes his head fervently, ears shooting up. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t want to say anything in fear that it makes him look pathetic and needy. Instead, he licks a long stripe along your inner thigh, stopping at your sopping cunt. He rests his head on your skin like a pillow, silently waiting for your next move. You pull at the leash and the other stumbles forward—nose pressed against your core. He plays with the lining of your panties, using nothing but his tongue to take them to the side. He tastes you like he’s been starved for days, lapping over your entrance like clockwork. Your grip around the chain and his hair, making him groan into you, hands reaching over to play with the plush of your breasts. You’re knocked onto the mattress, eyes screwed tightly as your orgasm builds up, barely suppressing yourself of moans. The way you chant Taehyun’s name pushes him forward, making out with your cunt like his life depended on it. When you come on his face, he drinks every drop that flows out of you, kissing and praising you through narrowly audible whispers. 

You open your eyes to find him on top of you, waiting for you while the both of you catch your breaths. “You’re really good at that.”You mutter, playing with the gap on his garter belt. He smiles sheepishly, head ducked and pressing his fingers into your hips. “Does that mean I get a reward?” You scoff half-heartedly at his change in manner, drawing his face closer to yours. “What was it about forcing you again?” You tease, sitting up and pushing him down. “I’m just kidding, ‘course you do, Kitty.“ You swear he purrs when you caress his cheek, throwing a leg over his torso. “I’ll make you feel better.”

You line the tip of his cock near your entrance, eyeing the other with hunger. Taehyun ingrains the image of you over him in his memory—your parted lips and heaving form contracting when you sink down on him. His pre-cum and yours mix to make such filthy noises, spurring the both of you further. Grinding your hips, you throw your head back as he fondles your tits. You’re quiet, save for the few grunts when the other sneaks his pelvis to meet your ass. 

Taehyun really wants to hear you again, wants to see your pretty face when you come on his dick, the pretty squirms you make when he bottoms out from above. So he takes matters into his own hands, shoving you on your back as he rams into you. You throw a hand over your eyes and mouth, and the other is quick to swat them away, pinning them down. “Wanna hear you, pretty.” He rolls his hips really slow, right before slamming them against you. “A-ah Taehyun, don’t—” He pays no attention to your cries, thrusting irregularly. “Don’t what?” You yelp, “Don’t stop—fuck!” His mouth latches onto your throat, littering the skin with love bites as your pussy clamps down on him. “Faster–‘m so close.” You sob, marking his back. Taehyun leaves no room for you to breathe as he pounds into you. “Me too,” he lets out, whining at the feeling erupting from him. His body shoots up in preparation to pull out—but you stop him, heels digging at the plush of his ass. “Don’t. Want you to cum in me.” He’s more than willing to respect your wishes, smirking down at you as your eyes roll in pleasure, drool trickling down your chin. Your back arches off the bed, chest meeting his. He fucks you through your high, pulling you in and letting you bite down on his lips. With one last plunge, he empties himself into you, white liquid displaced as it runs down the entrance of your cunt. 

For a while, both of you just stare at the ceiling. Nothing but the sound of your own racing thoughts and the clock ticking are present, until Taehyun breaks the silence. “I’m not your sidekick.” 

You sit up, clearing your throat. “I don’t expect you to be.” You reply, tracing the veins on the back of his hand. “We’re a partnership. We need each other.” You pause to look him in the eye, and your breath hitches at the full sight of him post-sex. “I need you.” 

He smiles, teeth tugging at his lips to prevent such an action. “I’m still upset about the blood pendant you made without my permission.” You chuckle at his ignorance. “You’re not as knowledgeable as you regard yourself to be?” He’s confused and a bit offended, as indicated by the twitch of his mouth. “I’m sorry, I just meant—the pendant is supposed to help speed up the bonding process between pairs. The mind control thing is just a myth too.” He goes silent, twisting his head away from you. “So earlier, that was,” He trails off, and you finish his thoughts. “Yup, that was all you. If it was true, it would've been illegal, Tyun.” He’s quick to change the topic, watching you settle back down into the covers. “So we have nicknames now?”

“Oh,” You alarm yourself, “Sorry—I just—” He laughs, “It’s fine. Should I call you anything?” Before you’re able to say anything, he interrupts. “I’m not calling you master.” You giggle, nodding. I wasn’t gonna call you that anyway. Tilting his head, he narrows his focus on you. “Noona?” You stare at the ceiling, lips pursed and ignoring the incessant prodding at your sides. “You’re blushing. You like, Noona?”

“Shut up. I thought you said you were, albeit circumstantially, older than me?” Turning back to him, you take in his face as it glimmers in the warm, dim light that emits from the singular candle lamp. “I’m willing to admit I was wrong.” You let out a sound of amusement. “Huh, that’s new.” He rolls his eyes, boring his gaze into yours. It’s slight, but you feel the ravenette wriggle closer, inching his pinky around yours. With that, you intertwine your hand with his, and the both of you gape at one another in silence.

if you saw the original..u didnt

thank you for reading! feedback, reblogs and tags appreciated♡

[raplinesmoon]

Congratulations on your Smilestone, Isi!!! 🥳You, your big heart, and your gorgeous writing deserve ALL the love! 💜💜💜

If you’re still taking prompts, can I request Yoongi + “if you don’t have gloves, you can just hold my hand” since he’s the king of soft hand holding? 🥰 But no pressure and only if you feel inspired! 💕

Hi Allison!! I love this request, Yoongi is truly the master of soft hand holding!! Thank you for being so kind always 💕

the perfect gift

pairing: yoongi x f!reader

warnings: none… there’s a strange pov shift that I hope isn’t too abrupt

word count: 481

“Happy holidays, Miss ___!” The little voice calls out. Waving goodbye to the last of your students, you let out a deep sigh. Winter break was finally here, meaning you got time to yourself for once. You loved your job as a teacher, but you were excited to be able fo finally have time to spend with your friends and family, bake cookies, and and wrap all your gifts.

Looking down at your desk, you hear the tapping of footsteps down the hallway, looking up as you see the doorknob turn, and your best friend Yoongi step into the classroom.

“Are you ready to go?” his deep voice rumbles, the corners of his lips lifting up into a warm smile.

Groaning, you realized you’d forgotten that the two of you had agreed to dinner at your parents’ house.

“Oh my gosh, Yoongi, I’m so sorry, we were supposed to make the thing-, to bring together, I totally forgot-“ you groan, slapping a hand on your forehead.

“Got it right here,” Yoongi says gently, pulling aside his coat to reveal the Pyrex containing the new dish you’d been promising to make for weeks.

“Seriously, what would I do without you?” you sigh, throwing your coat around your shoulders. The two of you make your way down the hallway, and as the harsh chill of the winter air outside greets you, you reach into your pockets, only to find them empty.

You fight the urge to chatter your teeth as you feel your fingertips freeze, when suddenly, a warm hand envelops your own. You look up to see Yoongi looking straight ahead, paying no mind to your clasped hands.

“If you don’t have gloves, you can just hold my hand,” he says softly. “I don’t want you to be cold.”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

The dinner is a great success, your parents thrilled to have the company of you and Yoongi for the evening. Having watched you two group up together, tears mist in their eyes as they remark how you’ve both remained steadfastly devoted to the friendship for so many years.

Swiping a bite of cake with your fork, you smile as the sweet icing hits your tongue. Listening along to your dad go on about the new car he’s planning on buying, you notice Yoongi excuse himself from the table to help your mom clean up in the kitchen.

…

Yoongi pads into the kitchen, seeing your mother hunched over the sink, scrubbing away at the dishes. Coming to stand next to her, he reaches over and begins to dry the washed dishes.

“So,” your mother asks. “Have you thought about what to get ___ for the holidays this year?”

Yoongi’s face breaks into a soft smile, and he puts a hand on her shoulder.

“I have,” he responds. “And I think I have the perfect gift planned.”

“I’m finally ready to tell her.”

[cozy-the-overlord]

Masquerade

Part 2 of Cozy’s Fluff-To-Angst Fun and Games

@loki-hargreeves said

Here's a fluffy-ish prompt for you,

Dancing together (anything between ballroom dancing or just dancing in the living room at 2am together) 💚

Summary: It didn’t have to be bad, Loki told himself. His parents were married through such an arrangement, and they were happy together. 

He would be happy too.

Word Count: 1,659

Pairing: Loki x OFC

A/N: I feel like if you’ve read any of my other stuff, you’ll know how my favorite trope is childhood friends to lovers. I thought I’d try a twist on that formula. Not sure if it worked, but here you go!

Thanks for reading!

Warnings: None? I think? It’s just Loki being lonely

Tags:  @lucywrites02 @silver-lupines @whatafuckingdumbass @the-emo-asgardian @imnotrevealingmyname @electroma89 @lokislittlesigyn @moumouton4 @theredrenard @justdontmindmetm

If you want to be tagged, feel free to send an ask/message :)

Read it on Ao3!

Loki had always loved dancing.

Alfheim balls were a little different from the ones he had grown up attending on Asgard, but the dancing was similar enough. It was a comfort, little scraps of familiarity floating in a frozen sea. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to be swept up in the rhythm.

Rowan was radiant, as always. She laughed as she spun in his arms, the skirt of her dress flaring around her legs in a sparkling golden blur, and when he pulled her closer he found himself laughing too. It was impossible to resist—her smile was infectious.

His wife was a brilliant actress.

Loki hadn’t known what to expect from the arranged marriage laid before him. He had been granted only a month to attempt to straighten his thoughts before being sent away to Alfheim to meet his bride. It didn’t have to be bad, he told himself. His parents were married through such an arrangement, and they were happy together. Happy enough at least. He would be happy too.

And … he could almost feel happy here. Dancing. Drowning in the music. Letting the cacophony of the ballroom wash over him. The two of them swooped across the floor, so smooth they might have been flying, all eyes on them. It almost felt like the life he had always expected to lead.

It almost felt real.

Loki felt lightheaded. Before his wedding, he had never cared for Elven wine, but now he had been finding himself warming up to the drink a little more with each banquet. It made everything seem distant. He liked that.

Rowan twirled again. Her gown was silky green, swathed in gold—his colors, of course. She had been wearing something similar when he first arrived. Really, between the dress and her dark curls, she could have been mistaken for Loki’s sister. It was something Thor had been quick to point out, smacking his shoulder with a boisterous laugh as soon as they stepped off the Bifrost.

Loki missed that laugh. Everything here seemed too quiet. The highlight of his wedding feast had been watching his brother drunkenly frolic his way through the night, challenging men he didn’t know to duels over women he had just met, spilling wine all over himself when a pretty girl brushed up too close to him. His mother had been mortified, but Loki found it endlessly entertaining.

He had nearly cried the next morning, when he came down to bid his family farewell. He hid it, of course. It wouldn’t do to have a son of Odin bawling like a baby over a goodbye. He even managed a weak laugh, when Thor clapped him on the back and congratulated him for surviving his wedding night, although he was curious as to what his brother would say had he known Loki spent it on a couch.

But he really felt it rising, that frozen knot of panic in his throat, when his mother gave him one last embrace. He wondered if she could hear the frantic, childish plea he left unsaid.

Please don’t leave me here.

But as powerful as his mother was, she couldn’t read his mind, and so leave him they did.

He didn’t blame Rowan. He couldn’t—this was no more her fault than it was his. In fact, he had tremendous respect for her. The speech she had given him that night, when they returned to the apartment they were to share as husband and wife, had been straightforward and concise—perhaps a little rehearsed, but not so much that her conviction was unclear.

Still, it had startled him.

“I’ll be your wife. When I’m crowned Queen, you’ll be my Crown Prince. You and your realm will have the power and control you so desperately desire. But you won’t have me. You’ll never have me. Understand?”

Loki nodded. What was he supposed to do? Of all the scenarios he had run through his mind, over and over again until he could barely focus on anything else, he had never prepared for such an abrupt dismissal. When she disappeared into the bedroom, slamming the door with a swish of her emerald gown, he could only stand there like the great gaping idiot he was.

She was swishing that gown now, as they circled the floor once more. She stretched her hand out to his, his hand grazing her waistline as they turned to the music. The crowd of nobles watching from the edges of the ballroom seemed to have drawn even tighter around them since he last looked. The muscles in Loki’s neck tensed, but he held his easy smile. He had learned to dance through these maskless masquerades, and he danced them quite well.

Rowan wasn’t bothered by all the eyes on her. She peered across the assembly, scanning the faces even as she fell back into his arms beaming. Loki didn’t even have to look up to know who she was searching for.

He had met him once. The Other Man. His name was Ari, and he worked in the royal stables. For banquets such as this, however, he was occasionally called in to aid the overworked staff. It was a station he had been born into, it seemed—his father had served as groom, his mother a kitchen maid. Ari had served alongside him as a stableboy in his youth. He and Princess Rowan had known each other since they were children.

Loki had met him when he discovered him lounging in the very rooms he shared with his wife. It was a rare occasion—usually Rowan was smart enough to keep her extramarital engagements outside of the palace—but it seemed that she had to step out for a moment and asked Ari to wait for her. They shared several minutes of stilted conversation. Loki tried to be polite, but the stablehand was clearly uninterested in friendship. They were both exceedingly relieved when Rowan returned to whisk her lover away. The foul-eyed smirk Ari shot at him as he left made Loki feel sick.

He thought about asking Rowan not to bring him back to their apartment. Surely that would be a fair request. If Thor had been in his position he would certainly have no qualms about making it. No, he’d demand that Rowan never do such a thing again.

But … Loki had never exactly been the demanding type. He didn’t want to be the demanding type. It was her life, her love, and he was the intruder from another planet butting in and turning it upside down. It didn’t bother him that she wanted to be with someone else. He wasn’t jealous. He didn’t want Rowan, not like that. He didn’t love her, and she certainly didn’t love him, and Loki was perfectly fine with that. He wanted her to be with Ari, if that was what brought her happiness. They both deserved to be happy.

But … he found himself thinking about them a lot. He had precious little else to do here, besides nod along in meetings where he had no real say and reread books that no longer offered him escape. Loki’s mind would drift off, and he’d wonder how they met, the princess and the stableboy. Maybe Rowan had been lonely as a child—after all, she had no siblings, and the Alfheim court held precious few her age. Maybe she had come to the stables to hide away from the weight of royalty. Loki had done that when he was little—hide in the stables, or the wine cellar, or anywhere safe and secluded where it felt like nobody was looking at him.

Maybe she had hidden in an empty stall, and Ari found her when he came into clean. He imagined Ari had been quite lonely too—there couldn’t be a lot of conversation to be had when one spends their days mucking after horses—and so when he came across the princess huddled in the corner, her silk skirt carefully tucked under her knees, he sat down next to her.

Loki imagined them talking, not about anything in particular, just bouncing from topic to topic the way children tend to do. Maybe Rowan brought up her favorite book. Maybe Ari showed her his favorite flower. It didn’t really matter. But Loki pictured them growing closer, meeting up in secret again and again, their endeavors growing wilder with their childish glee. He saw them sneaking away to the roof of the palace to watch the sunset and count the stars, laughing at the ant-like people scurrying by below as they snacked on stolen chocolates. He saw them creeping away to practice dancing in the moonlight, with nothing but the nightingale’s song to count their steps. He saw them slowly begin to look each other in a different light, nervous lips brushing against each other for the first time. He saw them hatch plans of escape—long, intricate schemes that called for stolen ships and falsified identities—before they came to their senses and realized such plans would never come to fruition. He saw himself enter their story and felt their loathing.

Loki wished he had that. That closeness, that bond. He wished he could talk to Rowan, really talk to her and trust her to listen. Not in a romantic sense, but as something else. Friends. Weren’t there stories like that, where the husband and wife in arranged marriages grew to have a friendship more powerful than anything romantic?

But somehow, Loki knew that to his wife, he’d only ever be the man trying to rip her from her beloved.

The music was reaching a close. Rowan pulled away in a graceful curtsey. Loki let her go with a bow. The crowd rippled with polite applause, devoted and empty as always. Loki kept his smile, blithe as can be.

His wife wasn’t the only brilliant actor in the room.

[edenmemes]

the witcher 3: wild hunt starters

including quotes from the dlcs hearts of stone & blood and wine

❝  you were always an unruly child. i adored that about you.  ❞ ❝  mmm. yes. of course. the excuse you resort to when you’d rather not talk about something.  ❞ ❝  how many have you killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  you know who i am. and why i’m here.  ❞ ❝  you're a madman and always have been. a cruel, cold-blooded killer.  ❞ ❝  a man should frame his wishes carefully. it forestalls disappointment.  ❞ ❝  no argument. you knew what you were signing up for.  ❞ ❝  maybe once, in a different time...i’d have helped.  ❞ ❝  don’t train alone, it only embeds your errors.  ❞ ❝  wanna get drunk off my ass. and it’s gotta be on cheap wine.  ❞ ❝  you’re a heartless bastard.  ❞ ❝  try to trick me anyway, anyhow, you won’t go anywhere, you know that. ‘cause i’ll take your head off right where it meets your neck.  ❞ ❝  sorry. i don’t want to talk about it. not now, at least.  ❞ ❝  we are more like a family.   we support each other and help each other survive tough moments.  ❞ ❝  so how’s it feel to be the village witch?  ❞ ❝  realize, please, that you were made for great things.  ❞ ❝  folks say a curse has fallen on that place, a dark power brought down by the bestiality of the murders it beheld.  ❞ ❝  so, now you’ve threatened me and all...are you in or are you not?  ❞ ❝  i know it must sound foolish, but in the dream - well, it was all too real...  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  it’s always been about you. only you.  ❞ ❝  i remember finding your sense of humor both groan-worthy...and somehow endearing.  ❞ ❝  kings die, realms fall, but magic endures.  ❞ ❝  i detest banquets. vacuous conversation, food portions fit for a mouse, drinks that taste like piss...  ❞ ❝  despite what you’ve heard, i don’t lunge at every monster i see, sword in hand.  ❞ ❝  each day’s more dangerous than the last.  ❞ ❝  it’s folks like you that restore my faith in humankind.  ❞ ❝  my power lies in possessing knowledge, not sharing it.  ❞ ❝  the rotten smell brings back childhood memories.  ❞ ❝  awfully noble of you, showing so much concern for the needy.  ❞ ❝  no need to thank me. always glad to save your ass. you’re welcome.  ❞ ❝  i may be inhumanely beautiful, but i don’t have super human senses.  ❞ ❝  anyone can be made to talk, even a corpse. one must simply know how.  ❞ ❝  we’ve done the hardest part. only got the pleasant bits now.  ❞ ❝  there are few causes worth saving. even fewer men.  ❞ ❝  don’t treat me like a child.  ❞ ❝  there’s strange men lurking outside the house. watching me.  ❞ ❝  you must be careful what you wish for lest your wish be granted.    for there are consequences.  ❞ ❝  shall i be free of the suffering? the sadness?  ❞ ❝  i wish to gaze into those eyes, eyes the devil would be proud to have.  ❞ ❝  you were born with a great gift. and only you can decide how to use it.  ❞ ❝  any other words of wisdom? or can we go?  ❞ ❝  what i need is an ally. and something tells me i shall find none better than you.  ❞ ❝  i can see no row can occur here without your participation.  ❞ ❝  i and what concerns me have not been a concern of yours for some time now.  ❞ ❝  if you’d not arrived in time, things might have ended considerably worse.  ❞ ❝  if they can bleed, they can die.  ❞ ❝  a man must display some madness from time to time --- it helps him feel alive.  ❞ ❝  i was deeply troubled. you’ve no idea.  ❞ ❝  done that so many times, but...it felt like our first kiss to me.  ❞ ❝  don’t need to play tough on me.  ❞ ❝  i've lost too many mates already. i won’t risk it, i can't.  ❞ ❝  there’s just not enough of us. it’ll be a hard fight.  ❞ ❝  in lonely woods, screams carry long.  ❞ ❝  things used to be simpler.    monsters were bad, humans good.   now, everything’s all confused.  ❞ ❝  as for your missteps --- i don't rightly see why i shouldn't laugh if they're amusing..  ❞ ❝  i’ve no gold to offer you in reward...but i shall be ever so grateful.  ❞ ❝  if you’re scared, turn back. i’m gonna go on.  ❞ ❝  if anything happens, i’ll defend you.  ❞ ❝  once you say "i love you," a kiss has to taste differently.  ❞ ❝  maybe we should sit? you look a bit dazed...  ❞ ❝  drink it off, sleep it off, whatever it takes...just get yourself together and think things        through.  ❞ ❝  i shall join later, if it’s no trouble. i don’t yet feel strong enough to venture out.  ❞ ❝  awake at last. you writhed like a squirrel caught in a snare.  ❞ ❝  again you plan without even asking what i think!  ❞ ❝  come to see how i’m feelin'? thanks, not bad.  ❞ ❝  i remember that day quite well...there was a light drizzle, yet the cold tore right through you.  ❞ ❝  you gotta keep your eyes peeled wide open. someone’s taken an interest in your work.  ❞ ❝  oof...for a minute, i actually thought we were doomed.  ❞ ❝  you shouldn’t worry yourself --- it tarnishes your beauty.  ❞ ❝  i’d even embrace you...were you not covered in blood.  ❞ ❝  guess i could’ve been someone worse...just a shame i had no choice.  ❞ ❝  facts interest me. not fairytales.  ❞ ❝  hm, odd smell. blend of alcohol, blood and monster stench.  ❞ ❝  i’m old and i am wealthy. i may say what i please.  ❞ ❝  now, be so kind and leave me to my thoughts.  ❞ ❝  in your shoes i’d pack it up and go hide somewhere far away.  ❞ ❝  forgive me, but that's the blatherin' of someone who clearly can't snap out of it after a tragic loss.  ❞ ❝  that all you gotta say? i saved your life.  ❞ ❝  i swear on all that is holy: we shall be together forever.  ❞ ❝  think of me as part of the decor.  ❞ ❝  anyone who’s bold enough to fight is already a hero.  ❞ ❝  if this is a trap of some sort...  ❞ ❝  you can count on me, you know? always.  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how much it means...to have someone you can rely on in this fucking city.  ❞ ❝  i know you. you have no heart.  ❞ ❝  no room for friendship in this business.  ❞ ❝  evil is evil. lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. the degree is arbitrary, the definitions blurred.  ❞ ❝  hands off, or i'll cut them off.  ❞ ❝  i’ll need to clear my head first. after those deranged dreams, i feel it’s full of cobwebs.  ❞ ❝  on your way? or will you stay longer? it’s far safer with you around...  ❞ ❝  really sad story, but something’s not right. got a feeling you’re not telling me everything.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit, there’s something about you. you’re...different.  ❞ ❝  with each arrow i shoot, i think of my dad. he’d be proud, i think.  ❞ ❝  i merely know when to indulge my pride, and when to swallow it.  ❞ ❝  you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  these’re dark, grim times. no room for knights pure of heart or happily-ever-afters.  ❞ ❝  a life without liquor’s like loving without licking.  ❞ ❝  my certainty i walk the right path grows strong as iron, firm as steel.  ❞ ❝  few make me feel awkward, but in your presence, i feel anxiety, discomfort.  ❞ ❝  some men have got good reason to fear their own shadows.  ❞ ❝  some men cannot admit defeat. some keep fighting from beyond the grave.  ❞ ❝  stare into their eyes, feast on their terror. then go in for the kill.  ❞ ❝  forget not that you are a person right and honorable, devoted to doing good.  ❞ ❝  ash shall fertilize the soil. by spring, the valley shall bloom once more.  ❞ ❝  there’s lots of wraiths here. i hear them whispering every night.  ❞ ❝  no one has the courage to face this threat! yet we must kill them, or sooner or later we will all die.  ❞ ❝  you are a step away from losing your head. speak the truth and you might yet keep it.  ❞ ❝  you carry within you the weight of a terrible tragedy. you are a good person, but lost. which is why you come across as grim.  ❞ ❝  if i understand you correctly, you would rather help a monster than kill it?  ❞ ❝  discouraged after a mere eight attempts?  ❞ ❝  easier to pat someone on the back and hope things will work out than it is to face the truth.  ❞ ❝  know that they can’t teach an old dog new tricks?  ❞ ❝  my, you’ve grown beautiful.  ❞ ❝  my swords a promise --- if i reach for it, heads will roll.  ❞ ❝  one condition: no one dies. that clear?  ❞ ❝  patience happens to be my weakness. so dispense with the dramatic pauses and talk.  ❞ ❝  you proved today you can take care of yourself.  ❞ ❝  you under the delusion you’ll complete your tasks, live happily ever after?  ❞ ❝  i will not sit and twiddle my thumbs. i'm sick of waiting, sick of hiding!  ❞ ❝  glad you know who i am. haven’t introduced yourself, though.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen a great deal --- cruelty, cynicism, greed.  ❞ ❝  you tempt fate, because at heart you are unhappy.  ❞ ❝  we had our chance, but...let it go.  ❞ ❝  come now, you didn’t expect it to be that easy, did you?  ❞ ❝  promise me one thing --- you’ll stop risking your life for others.  ❞ ❝  instead of dwelling on the future, i’d rather live in the moment.  ❞ ❝  i adore love stories. especially the ones that end happily ever after.  ❞ ❝  we are drops of rain that together make a ferocious storm.  ❞ ❝  the path to freedom is paved in blood, not ink.  ❞ ❝  we’ll get our happy ending. one day.  ❞ ❝  i’ll never forget what you did for me...and what we had together.  ❞ ❝  don’t meddle in other people’s lives.  ❞ ❝  i don’t get attached to places. just people.  ❞ ❝  it’s dangerous, there are risks involved. understand that, don’t you?  ❞ ❝  and here i hoped someone would finally take pity on me.  ❞ ❝  seen a lot of dead in my time, but that must’ve been hard.  ❞ ❝  air is strange...like dropping into a deep cellar on a hot day...  ❞ ❝  wouldn’t carry a sword if i didn’t know how to use it.  ❞ ❝  take it you didn't summon me to reminisce about the good old days, so...  ❞ ❝  i was attacked --- had to defend myself.  ❞ ❝  guards have never stopped me, you know that.  ❞ ❝  treating the ill and wounded...it’s my calling.  ❞ ❝  you think it’s enchanted?  ❞ ❝  there are times when a woman should simply not explain her decision.  ❞ ❝  won’t find too many comforts, but try to feel at home.  ❞ ❝  i was looking for you...sometimes i thought you were just a step away. other times, i felt like i was going around in circles.  ❞ ❝  i’ll remember you. always with a smile.  ❞ ❝  i’d rather you not make anymore trouble --- for yourself, or us both.  ❞ ❝  got the stench of corpes on you.  ❞ ❝  you stood to gain --- that is why you saved me.  ❞ ❝  sages invariably have hidden agendas. altruism is simply not part of their constitution.  ❞ ❝  the gods have abandoned us. the mighty of this earth care not for our fate.  ❞ ❝  is that admiration i hear in your voice?  ❞ ❝  i started off heading in the opposite direction, but then turned around.  ❞ ❝  i’m fed up. i won’t have others deciding for me behind my back.  ❞ ❝  where’d you get this idea? what’s gotten into you?  ❞ ❝  i don't expect you to commit now. think it over, what you've heard, what you feel.  ❞ ❝  head torn clear off...takes incredible strength.  ❞ ❝  desperate fathers have been known to do a lot to find their daughters.  ❞ ❝  you cannot kill me. you know this...  ❞ ❝  "i give you my heart”? what kind of spell is that?  ❞ ❝  i’d go anywhere with you.  ❞ ❝  why? because i am a woman? in a frock, rather than plate? i can take care of myself, i assure you.  ❞ ❝  everything we discussed here, hope you’ll keep it to yourself. counting on it, in fact.  ❞ ❝  trusted you once. won’t make that mistake again.  ❞ ❝  shut up. i’ve heard enough of your bullshit. draw your weapon, let’s get this over with.  ❞ ❝  exaggerating for effect, right?  ❞ ❝  well, well...when cornered, you can bite.  ❞ ❝  you cannot win...even if you kill me.  ❞ ❝  you know i’m good at accomplishing the impossible.  ❞ ❝  it’s nothing, really. you’d have done the same for me.  ❞ ❝  you are not ready. you do not control your powers.  ❞ ❝  you’re a tool in their hands, even if you don’t see it.  ❞ ❝  i’d do anything for you, i would. you know that well.  ❞ ❝  this is a land where the fantastic is normal, and the impossible occurs daily...  ❞ ❝  know when a legend becomes a prophecy? when it gain believers.  ❞ ❝  i thought you’d become a stranger to me. that i’d look at you and not feel a thing. but it’s not like that at all. nothing’s changed.  ❞ ❝  to be honest, i just wanted to go on a walk with you.  ❞ ❝  what i really want is to be with you, to...to be together and...  ❞ ❝  this is not the kind of offer one refuses.  ❞ ❝  despair devours you like maggots devour a corpse.  ❞ ❝  before long every soul will kneel before you.  ❞ ❝  i run into dilemmas all the time. situations where it's hard to judge, hard to know what's right, make a decision. this is not one of them. you disgust me. and deserve to die.  ❞ ❝  you know me. i’m rare to praise, but when i do, it’s sincere.  ❞ ❝  i'm not a thug for hire.  ❞ ❝  i like being on adventures, sleeping under the stars, waking up with dew on my face.  ❞ ❝  the dream's within reach now. i’m not about to let it go.  ❞ ❝  unlike you, killing gives me no pleasure.  ❞ ❝  can't speak for the world you inhabit, but in mine, nothing is ever black and white.  ❞ ❝  you cannot possibly imagine how much i detest this place.  ❞ ❝  stones you’ve got. but i didn’t think you’d have the stomach for a massacre.  ❞ ❝  the dead man --- looked like a monster attacked him recently.  ❞ ❝  finish all your business before you die. bid loved ones farewell. write your will. apologize to those you’ve wronged. otherwise, you’ll never truly leave this world.  ❞ ❝  i've had nothing but nightmares lately. pretty horrible.  ❞ ❝  i was wandering through the forest, breathing deep the air, and then i heard a strange sound, unsettling.  ❞ ❝  had a few nice dreams. for example, in one we sat around a fire, drinking good wine, and all around people danced and laughed.  ❞ ❝  they’re all dead! mountains of corpses. yet here i stand alone. all alone.  ❞ ❝  this isn’t a game. men have died.  ❞ ❝  if you wanna listen, listen, if not --- i'd rather you spared me your wit and throw me out now.  ❞ ❝  you fed me, cared for me, had my wounds looked after. we're even now.  ❞ ❝  you’ll return, you shall. our fates are bound.  ❞ ❝  i’ve nothing left. not a fucking thing.  ❞ ❝  i don’t question your abilities. i simply don’t trust you.  ❞ ❝  what foolish things men sometimes do.  ❞ ❝  dare harm me, and against you will rise all the powers of nature.  ❞ ❝  did you destroy the evil powers? have you brought peace to my domain?  ❞ ❝  well, perhaps i shall tell you about it one day. one day, but not today..  ❞ ❝  times like these, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  ❞ ❝  you worry too much. what will be, will be.  ❞ ❝  have you gone completely mad? we must leave here at once!  ❞ ❝  time eats away at memories, distorts them. sometimes we only remember the good... sometimes only the bad.  ❞ ❝  you don’t need magic to strip men of their humanity. i’ve seen plenty of examples.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to choose between one evil and another, i’d rather not choose at all.  ❞ ❝  see what i’ve got on my back? wolves fear it. kings do, too.  ❞ ❝  i missed those awkward compliments of yours.  ❞ ❝  sometimes i think it’s all too lovely to be true…that something’s bound to happen, another war or some other horror.  ❞ ❝  took you a while. did you run into trouble?  ❞ ❝  i just travel a lot. and i don't always happen upon such good and civil company.  ❞ ❝  what can you know about saving the world, silly?  ❞ ❝  done my share of fighting. wouldn't carry a sword if i didn't know to use it.  ❞ ❝  all right, perhaps i wasn’t completely honest.  ❞ ❝  ever thought this day would come? me and you...peace and quiet...bees buzzing, birds chirping.  ❞ ❝  i detect a shadow of impatience in your face.  ❞ ❝  took me a long time to find you. wasn't an easy road to travel.  ❞ ❝  wipe that frown off your face, or i might think you don’t like me anymore.  ❞ ❝  always believed attack was the best defense.  ❞ ❝  once it’s all over, if we survive ... i wish to leave, go far away.   and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  naturally, you suspect me of the worst. i don’t deserve that.  ❞ ❝  we can fight another time, in another place, where the walls have no ears.  ❞ ❝  once i was free...i shall be free once more.  ❞ ❝  believe me...a tavern, mulled wine, our boots drying by the fire --- i’d like nothing better.  ❞ ❝  prove it. kiss me.  ❞ ❝  the prophecies do not lie...you cannot survive this struggle.  ❞ ❝  i know you better than you think.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  what’s happened? it’s so quiet, all of a sudden.  ❞ ❝  thank you, for coming with me.  ❞ ❝  i cannot do everything for you. use your head.  ❞ ❝  i'm angry and tired. had to kill a lot of people along the way.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’d be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  i sense your pain. i see your fear.  ❞ ❝  how’s this for an answer: kiss my ass.  ❞ ❝  how many have you already killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  i'm quite alive and extraordinarily well. better than i've ever been in this rotten life of mine.  ❞ ❝  i like it when you smile. come here. everything will be all right.  ❞ ❝  ugh. don’t fall in love with me.  ❞ ❝  i don’t like you. in fact, i feel like slapping you.  ❞ ❝  i'm too old to play the blushing bride...unless you ask nicely.  ❞ ❝  that bit of my life --- forgotten it already.  ❞ ❝  the world doesn’t need a hero. it needs a professional.  ❞ ❝  next time you wonder why i’m so bitter...well, there's your answer.  ❞ ❝  nothing wrong with having a drink in good company.  ❞ ❝  i want you behind those rocks. and keep your mouth shut.  ❞ ❝  nice of you to worry...but i've made my decision, and i won't change it.  ❞ ❝  this is my story, not yours. you must let me finish telling it.  ❞ ❝  after all that toil, i believe we deserve a bit of a rest.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  we’ve all some stain on our conscience.  ❞ ❝  leaving the castle walls means certain death.  ❞ ❝  right good jest. had us a laugh. now fuck off.  ❞ ❝  i’ve heard about you. you bring trouble, or thus far have, always.  ❞ ❝  ah, you’ve struck a raw nerve.    memories of a time long past to which i’d rather not return now.  ❞ ❝  we meet again. and it seems you need my help. again.  ❞ ❝  got a relative i can talk to? someone - how do i say this - a smidgen less irritating?  ❞ ❝  miss the target, you owe me fifty push-ups. hit it, you owe me twenty.  ❞ ❝  oh. serious talk coming.  ❞ ❝  i feel like one more lie'd be the last bitter drop in a chalice full of sorrow.  ❞ ❝  romantic? thought we came here as friends.  ❞ ❝  you’re hiding something. and that’s one thing i can’t stand.  ❞ ❝  tell me, how do you do it? always manage to pull yourself together, focus, no matter what’s happening?  ❞ ❝  i go wherever i please, whenever i please.  ❞ ❝  uh oh. i know that look.  ❞ ❝  sounds tempting. so tempting i don’t think i can refuse.  ❞ ❝  so, what do you say to a moonlight ride on horseback...and dinner?  ❞ ❝  perhaps...perhaps you’d stay just a bit longer?  ❞ ❝  how are you feeling? sleep well?  ❞ ❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...  simply shouldn’t have.  ❞

❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...i simply shouldn’t have --- not during our romantic dinner.  ❞ ❝  got it. a bit of blackmail --- just your style.  ❞ ❝  it’s the crack of dawn. where do you wanna go?  ❞ ❝  shut up before you wake someone. last thing we need is a crowd.  ❞ ❝  watch what you say. the trees have ears.  ❞ ❝  no bow at hand, no spear. my sword was all i had.  ❞ ❝  never expected you’d take such an interest in my private life.  ❞ ❝  i’m special. always was the rare beauty.  ❞ ❝  damn. been ages since we last saw each other.  ❞ ❝  some charming orchards nearby. in bloom, even, so you almost can't smell the corpses.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  man spends his whole life learning.  ❞ ❝  if only i was as skilled with my words as i am with my blade.  ❞ ❝  i wished to know what was going on in that head of yours. i thought perhaps i could help.  ❞ ❝  i can tell something’s bothering you.  ❞ ❝  dangerous times. each thinks five times before sticking their neck out.   and i can’t blame them.  ❞ ❝  now i care not in the slightest how you think or feel.  ❞ ❝  i no longer know if i still hate you.  ❞ ❝  i see how you look at me, and i see you wither.  ❞ ❝  one last bit of advice --- find a new tavern. everyone here knows you.  ❞ ❝  you won. no point bothering with ‘what ifs’.  ❞ ❝  it’s time i took fate into my own hands. lived life anew...and truly, this time.  ❞ ❝  ahh, 'cause you thought you'd killed me that time. surprise, sur-fucking-prise.  ❞ ❝  who...who’s that? gods, i’m hallucinating.  ❞ ❝  it’s no exaggeration to say i’ve never met a warrior like you in my life. you’re lithe as an eel and strong as a bear.  ❞ ❝  i’ve a heart again, yet all it feels is grief, sadness and defeat. my life is a ruin.  ❞ ❝  sought only to protect myself. in doing so, i put you in harm’s way. forgive me.  ❞ ❝  there’s a charming grove nearby where  kisses  taste  sweeter than anywhere else in the world.  ❞ ❝  you’ve handled tougher situations. you’ll figure this one out.  ❞ ❝  who you are and why you’ve come matter little. for you’ll not leave this place alive.  ❞ ❝  i’m not panicking. just trying to be realistic.  ❞ ❝  hahahahaha...i can’t believe you fell for that!  ❞ ❝  i was actually going to recite an anthem praising your glory, but if you’re not in the mood...  ❞ ❝  lying didn’t always come so easily to you.  ❞ ❝  everyone wants to rule. i can do that better than any monarch.  ❞ ❝  tell me what you want already, and make it quick.  ❞ ❝  what a mess we made of it all...if i’d only known then how it would end...  ❞ ❝  seems a faded dream now, but there were a time where i was happy.  ❞ ❝  why’d you leave me? you claimed you loved me.  ❞ ❝  never liked boats. not one bit.  ❞ ❝  you must be mad. i’ve no intention to make things easier for you.  ❞ ❝  i don’t wish to look at your face any longer than i must.  ❞ ❝  please, no. i can’t stand spells.  ❞ ❝  we agreed not to keep any secrets from one another. we promised.  ❞ ❝  that i like! a man who boldly dares, damn the risks!  ❞ ❝  i thought you bowed before no man.  ❞ ❝  smile a bit wider. ...you were meant to smile, not bare your teeth.  ❞ ❝  is that blood? have you hurt yourself?  ❞ ❝  no reason to trouble the guards. i’ll go willingly.  ❞ ❝  look at me. promise you’ll stay out of it.  ❞ ❝  the minute we’re in trouble, you make me responsible for getting us out.  ❞ ❝  they say they don’t fear the wrath of the gods. and you, do you fear it?  ❞ ❝  i’ll let that pass. i know grief eats at your heart.  ❞ ❝  we all lie sometimes. but lying to yourself is running away, whereas there’s really nowhere to run.  ❞ ❝  don’t need your sympathy, just your help.  ❞ ❝  your loss -- it must hurt, bad. but there wasn't anything we could do.  ❞ ❝  i wish to leave, go far away. and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  i trust you have an explanation for this. a very good one.  ❞ ❝  lot of bitterness in you.  ❞ ❝  i assure you, you’re excellent at covering your tracks --- though not terribly subtle. but i’m even better at uncovering them.  ❞ ❝  glad to see you happy...but i don’t think what we did was right.  ❞ ❝  i look at you, and...and feel like i am exactly where i am supposed to be. at long last.  ❞ ❝  i’m no coward. i'll not run this time.  ❞ ❝  yes, i know you’ve trained with swords. but you’re still shit with them.  ❞ ❝  how many innocents have you cut down?  ❞ ❝  problem is, you’re not ordinary. you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  not too late to surrender.  ❞ ❝  men turn honest when they feel a blade at their throat.  ❞ ❝  i'm not gonna drink. why dull my senses when i’m in such pleasant company?  ❞ ❝  it’s bound to come in handy, and each time it does, you’ll think of me.  ❞ ❝  lie still or you will bleed to death.  ❞ ❝  your life is yours, exclusively. you choose who you are.  ❞ ❝  for a minute there, was almost sure you’d leave me to die.  ❞ ❝  there is never a second opportunity to make a first impression.  ❞ ❝  it’s all because of that secretiveness of yours.  ❞ ❝  plead the gods spare us, for without their favor we shall most certainly perish.  ❞ ❝  i must say -- seen a lot, but nothing like this, never.  ❞ ❝  you don’t look like you can get home on your own. i’ll walk you.  ❞ ❝  all’s in the past, never to be restored.  ❞ ❝  you know full well i never hold a grudge. i forgive you.  ❞ ❝  the good gods sent you to me.  ❞ ❝  and the guilt, the responsibility of all this, lies with me.  ❞ ❝  you’ve only been here five minutes, and you’ve already managed to offend me twice.  ❞ ❝  you will certainly fetch me a higher bounty alive.  ❞ ❝  what's wrong with my beard? always thought it added to my dignity.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to die today, i wish to look smashing for the occasion.  ❞ ❝  i was stupid. stupidity costs a lot.  ❞ ❝  even your humblest requests seem like threats.  ❞ ❝  your motives do not interest me. only results.  ❞ ❝  and you laughed, oh, how sweetly, how brightly you laughed!  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how it is. to see someone you love die. because of you, for you.  ❞ ❝  to have a scapegoat --- that’s the key.  ❞ ❝  no need to fear me.  ❞ ❝  sorry, but -- your life story? just not interested.  ❞ ❝  with you...it was love at first sight.  ❞ ❝  gotta understand. you don’t betray people like me.  ❞ ❝  i struggled long to find a place where i’d feel safe, needed. until i finally arrived here.  ❞ ❝  just don’t faint on me.  ❞ ❝  could never be there for you everyday. but i’m happy to see you always. and today, i’m all yours.  ❞ ❝  what others think...your image...that’s all you care about.  ❞ ❝  in these foul times one must be wary, even of their friends.  ❞ ❝  come on, don’t get angry - it’s not good for you..  ❞ ❝  so, apart from the sword play, you know potions and all that?  ❞ ❝  i actually envy your sense of wonder --- common in children, and morons.  ❞ ❝  a lot of misfortune for a small village.  ❞ ❝  who are you? do you seek to hurt me as well?  ❞ ❝  the hand that feeds can also strike its wayward wards.  ❞ ❝  shh. eat now. we’ll speak once you’ve rested.  ❞ ❝  brother has turned against brother, the land is soaked in blood. evil reigns stronger than ever before.  ❞ ❝  good looking and clever. where’ve you been hiding?  ❞ ❝  doesn’t bother you, having monsters for neighbours?  ❞ ❝  stay here --- no matter what happens.  ❞ ❝  i never told you this, but i’ve always felt it: i love you.  ❞ ❝  listen to me this once -- don't take matters into your own hands.  ❞ ❝  love these moments. the air before a battle -- nothing smells as sweet.  ❞ ❝  they tried to get in through the main gate. i’m afraid they could succeed next time.  ❞ ❝  too many claim you’re evil.  ❞ ❝  why are you so eager to help strangers? sit your ass down or there’ll be misfortune.  ❞ ❝  you'd never have managed without me, would you? come, now, admit it.  ❞ ❝  for those who remain, death should never take precedence over life.  ❞ ❝  thanks for coming. thanks for risking your life for me.  ❞ ❝  don’t force me to speak of it. no more, please.  ❞ ❝  when doubt plagues your mind, follow your instincts. should they steer you wrong and land you in muck, you'll land at peace with yourself. and that's most important.  ❞ ❝   just know that i know you're here. one misstep, one error...you'll make a mistake, it's inevitable...i'll be the first to learn it.  ❞ ❝  i do not know you. i’ve done you no harm.  ❞ ❝  try not to panic...just doesn’t suit you.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’ll be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  had i known what would happen here, i'd never have come.  ❞ ❝  i can say i’ve seen it all now.  ❞ ❝  these scars have long yearned for your tender caress.  ❞ ❝  i don’t fall victim to curses. i cast them.  ❞ ❝  come outside. we can hold hands and stare at the sky.  ❞ ❝  we’ll work well together --- i can see that already.  ❞ ❝  from the first moment i set eyes upon you that fateful evening, my heart has only beaten for you.  ❞ ❝  i trust you as much as you trust me --- not at all.  ❞ ❝  you’ve gone all red in the face just for talking about it.  ❞ ❝  wake up. it’s just a dream. wake up!  ❞ ❝  i still don’t believe everything that happened.  ❞ ❝  i never miss twice.  ❞ ❝  bit too old to believe in bedtime stories, aren’t you?  ❞ ❝  you humans have...unusual tastes.  ❞ ❝  didn’t think it worthwhile to tell me, warn me of your plans?  ❞ ❝  i think you will not attack one unarmed.  ❞ ❝  the deeper i get into this, the more i gotta wonder...why’re you even helping me?  ❞ ❝  to live in peace, we first must kill.  ❞ ❝  at times fate muddles our path, and life turns toilsome, hard to bear.  ❞ ❝  i fight for whoever’s paying the best. or whoever’s easier to rob.  ❞ ❝  do not let my beauty distract your aim.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen what is to come, i know destruction approaches.  ❞ ❝  the war awoke an ancient power. an evil one that feeds on bloodshed.  ❞ ❝  guess you’re no stranger to fury, either.  ❞ ❝  think i’m gonna fall for that? no chance, you’re wrong.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit --- you do pretty well with a sword.  ❞ ❝  you dare tell me to calm down?! you?!  ❞ ❝  let's say i go about my business, and when there's coin to be earned, i don't readily turn it down.  ❞ ❝  i wish to know the truth...be it sweet, be it painful, i wish to know.  ❞ ❝  men, the polite ones at least, would call me a monster.  ❞ ❝  even i grow ill at the sight of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m going on a walk. or is that not allowed either? because i could break my leg?  ❞ ❝  plan’s crazier than it is sane...but there’s an irrestistible charm to it.  ❞ ❝  unbelievable! you said something romantic! you!  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  if anything should happen to you...  ❞ ❝  there’s not been a dark cloud yet that didn’t have a silver lining.  ❞ ❝  those are some fresh lookin’ scars you’ve got there.  ❞ ❝  no. no more about the battle. just hold me. and say something nice.  ❞ ❝  stay. this is the only home we’ve ever had.  ❞ ❝  you’re so charming when you try to be funny.  ❞ ❝  not proud of it...yet i considered all the options and found none better.  ❞ ❝  i look far different from when you last saw me.  ❞ ❝  i admire your optimism. wish i shared it.  ❞ ❝  and...try not to draw any attention to yourself.  ❞ ❝  nightmares haunt our nights and days. folk sleepwalk from their homes, never to return.  ❞ ❝  forgive me. it couldn’t be avoided. i truly am sorry.  ❞ ❝  well i’ve departed, escaped, been forced to flee so many times…yet i always returned. you ought to be used to it by now.  ❞ ❝  the human mind is as wild and unexplored a place as any land far beyond the sea.  ❞ ❝  you think you’ve won. you are wrong. i can’t die.  ❞ ❝  you’re something more. something more.  ❞ ❝  barely nicked me, i’ll be fine.  ❞ ❝  it’s just that i felt...stifled, in your shadow. i’d have suffocated had i stayed.  ❞ ❝  come, don’t just stand there. i want a hug.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely here! i could stay forever.  ❞ ❝  do what you will, but leave me out of this.  ❞ ❝  we should end this discussion -- before i say something i'll regret.  ❞ ❝  you all right? you’re as pale as death.  ❞ ❝  let’s get back to the hut. i’ll protect you along the way.  ❞ ❝  not to keen on talking about it, are you?  ❞ ❝  it’s better to die than to live in the knowledge that you’ve done something that needs forgiveness.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  at times one must use reason, rather than blades.  ❞ ❝  need some peace. gotta prepare.  ❞ ❝  i suspected it might not be the best idea, but i was desperate, had no choice.  ❞ ❝  so tell me how it happened. step by step.  ❞ ❝  it was a bit of a lark, a jest. i meant to bring it all back, i swear.  ❞ ❝  if i wanted to kill you, you'd be long dead by now.  ❞ ❝  that is precisely one of the reasons why i abhor your world.    your senseless brutality.  ❞ ❝  i won’t let them take you, you know that?  ❞ ❝  magic...childish hocus-pocus. it’s just not interesting. what i find fascinating are true tales of true human lives.  ❞ ❝  save your praise for others. i couldn’t give a shit.  ❞ ❝  well, well, i am impressed. doubted you still had it in you, frankly.  ❞ ❝  i like you. don’t make me hurt you.  ❞ ❝  you know very little can hurt you being immortal, so you take wild risks, chase extreme sensations. there comes a point you’ve done it all, and all seems boring and monotonous.  ❞ ❝  with you i finally feel...harmony. a calm. feel like things are the way they're supposed to be.  ❞ ❝  i'm afraid the dishwater’s as good as it gets in this establishment.  ❞ ❝  sorry to take so long, but i had to deal with the guards.  ❞ ❝  i’d never miss a chance to spend a pleasant evening with you.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. yet one more reason why you must die.  ❞ ❝  or perhaps you seek to trick me.  ❞ ❝  if you acknowledge any gods...start praying, now.  ❞ ❝  it’s very simple. you either deceived me...or not.  ❞ ❝  i am known neither for my sense of humor nor for my patience.  ❞ ❝  naturally, it would be easier with your help, but...you irritate me.  ❞ ❝  love questions like that. am i holding up? what, my dick?  ❞ ❝  we never hunt in these woods. not even if it means the whole village starves.  ❞ ❝  we’re only ever the ones to know the truth about ourselves.  ❞ ❝  you’re insolent because you believe i cannot afford to hurt you. and you’re right.  ❞ ❝  i detest graveyards, especially wandering them alone.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. you impede me too often. and i find your arrogance an annoyance.  ❞ ❝  i know it’s wartime, but try not to be a hero, all right?  ❞ ❝  i don’t know that i’ll make for engaging company. in truth, i rarely talk to men.  ❞ ❝  you know...had a dream about you recently.  ❞ ❝  i thought i could at least count on you to treat me seriously.  ❞ ❝  don’t ask questions you know the answers to. it makes you look stupid.  ❞ ❝  you’re nosy. starting to piss me off, you know?  ❞ ❝  what did i do to deserve this? have i given you cause to doubt my intentions?  ❞ ❝  don’t fret about me. i always get by somehow, right?  ❞ ❝  i wanted to go with you --- that was my idea.  ❞ ❝  i shan’t stray a step from your side.  ❞ ❝  if that’s what it takes to save the world, it’s better to let that world die.  ❞ ���  what’s that supposed to mean? that a threat?  ❞ ❝  i’m offering a great and true adventure, an experience like no other, the fate of only the chosen few.  ❞ ❝  that’s like choosing between pestilence and the plague.  ❞ ❝  what’s it matter? i only ever thought of you.  ❞ ❝  did you know you’ve gained twenty-seven new scars since we’ve last saw each other?  ❞ ❝  i need to know the details if you want me to get my hands dirty.  ❞ ❝  don’t know you. go away.  ❞ ❝  ever vigilant, even in your sleep. quite vampire-like, in fact.  ❞ ❝  gotten used to people treating me like a freak, an outcast.  ❞ ❝  we share a cause, then. just like the old days.  ❞ ❝  ever considered becoming a burglar? skill like that’d come in awful handy.  ❞ ❝  there’s never been a frown that couldn’t be turned upside down.  ❞ ❝  honesty's an attribute of the truly brave --- and thus the privilege of the very few.  ❞ ❝  you do not have a monopoly in altruism, my friend.  ❞ ❝  great love demands great sacrifices.  ❞ ❝  i believe it wise at times to share one’s secrets, unburden oneself to those one can trust.  ❞ ❝  it would be nice from time to time if you could sit back and enjoy life, instead of going around solving everyone’s problems.  ❞ ❝  we shall dance until the break of dawn!  ❞ ❝  a man could lose his head for a lass like you.  ❞ ❝  don’t have to come if you don’t want. wait here.  ❞ ❝  never seen this side of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m to kiss the ground you walk on, is that it? but you just did your duty.  ❞ ❝  the day you give me a smile...that moment, that’s what i’m waiting for.  ❞ ❝  i need a soul intelligent and clever, an individual who fears no dare. someone like you.  ❞ ❝  if i was you i’d catch some shut-eye, not go on flapping my tongue.  ❞ ❝  the plan is simple...which does not mean it will be easy to execute.  ❞ ❝  sometimes you really get on my nerves, you know.  ❞ ❝  you shall not turn on me, use what i say against me? you shall not tell anyone?  ❞ ❝  gave you a chance. should’ve taken it.  ❞ ❝  always better to do a bit more and even gain nothing by it,    than to do too little and face regret.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely out here. the birds singing, the bees buzzing...blissful, really.  ❞ ❝  what a lovely dress. the color suits you exquisitely.  ❞ ❝  pretty fantastic tale. hard as hell to believe.  ❞ ❝  it’s time you discovered my romantic side.  ❞ ❝  you gotta understand the whole world doesn’t revolve around you.  ❞ ❝  can you not see i am out of my mind with worry?  ❞ ❝  every rose has its thorn, and there are no happy endings.  ❞ ❝  pretty quick to reject help. why is that?  ❞ ❝  don’t need to like each other. just gotta do our jobs.  ❞ ❝  frankly, if i can do something for you, i'll do it, willingly.  ❞ ❝  you were hired you kill me, were you not?  ❞ ❝  what’s it like, going toe to toe with a monster? knowing you’ve only two options --- to kill or be killed?  ❞ ❝  this place --- there’s evil here. death hangs in the air.  ❞ ❝  intellect counts as much as strength.  ❞ ❝  i run back inside, hasp the doors, and then i hear it --- someone whispering my name.  ❞ ❝  you know i like you. unlike the rest of this lot, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders.  ❞ ❝  if you love somebody, set them free.  ❞ ❝  if you hate me so deeply, why don’t you tell me to my face?  ❞ ❝  i’m afraid you’d not realize which way the wind was blowing if you pissed straight into it.  ❞ ❝  that was courageous. i'd never expect it from you.  ❞ ❝  i am not easily impressed, but i must admit you have succeeded, my dear.  ❞ ❝  kill me if you must. i’ve nothing to live for anyway.  ❞ ❝  aren’t you an extraordinary beauty.  ❞ ❝  never suspected you believed such things.  ❞ ❝  wait...you want to go with me? out of the question.  ❞ ❝  used to it. not the first time i’ve been hunted.  ❞ ❝  enough of this hesitation, this fretting, these feelings of guilt!  ❞ ❝  strange working with you. strange, but great.  ❞ ❝  give me a moment. i must don something more appropiate and concealing.  ❞ ❝  killing comes as naturally to me as blowing my nose.  ❞ ❝  ......   another tale of a life compromised and ultimately claimed by greed and ambition.  ❞ ❝  in the future, though, remember this --- i can look after myself  ❞ ❝  you'd really worry about me if i went on alone?  ❞ ❝  you have many merits. you merely hide them from the world very diligently.  ❞ ❝  is it true virtue always trumps villainy?  ❞ ❝  watch my movements. i’m spry as a cat and sly as a fox.  ❞ ❝  ah, if only this could last forever.  ❞ ❝  few i can rely on like i can on you. kinda hoping you think the same of me.  ❞ ❝  you are angry at the whole world. you feel inferior, feel pain, though you mask this with confidence, arrogance, even.  ❞ ❝  there exist worries for which there quite simply is no other medicine.  ❞ ❝  your bones look thin, your breathing’s wheezy. afraid one punch might kill you.  ❞ ❝  to love is to build a house of cards, or play a game of chess, but one word or ill-thought move and you must start it all afresh.  ❞ ❝  i’m doing what i ever wanted to do, being who i wanted to be. i believe that’s one definition of happiness.  ❞ ❝  you’ve not an ounce of refinement in you, have you?  ❞ ❝  pain rules the body, but fear is born in the heart.  ❞ ❝  either i get burned, or i’ll burn all else down. no other options.  ❞ ❝  should you decide your sword is the sole solution, i shall not stand in your way.  ❞ ❝  c’mon, come closer.  ❞ ❝  would you prefer i treated you like the lying manipulater you are?  ❞ ❝  i regret nothing. one lives but once.  ❞ ❝  i just hope this tale has a happy ending. for me, for you. for everyone.  ❞ ❝  just gonna go our seperate ways? no parting words?  ❞ ❝  you still stand to be quite useful to me.  ❞ ❝  i suppose you wanted to frighten me...alas, you didn’t in the least. after all, i’m a monster too, am i not?  ❞ ❝  i trust no one. learned that long ago.  ❞ ❝  it cannot be! you actually have a sense of humor.  ❞ ❝  didn’t ask for a lecture on probability. need a simple answer --- yes or no.  ❞ ❝  another word, and i shall spill even more blood. yours.  ❞ ❝  you feel resentment, i understand, but we shall work through all the unfortunate matters of the past.  ❞ ❝  stop playing dumb. i know everything...your plan.  ❞ ❝  honestly can’t see what all those dames see in you --- you’re a stick in the mud.  ❞ ❝  not showy, lovely location...perfect for romantic getaways.  ❞ ❝  i hope you’re not upset i came like this, without warning...  ❞ ❝  i’m still a long way from mastering anything. but i am trying.  ❞ ❝  now i know how you do it. just annoy your opponents to death.  ❞ ❝  word on the street is there’s a hefty bounty on your head.  ❞ ❝  for a few days now i’ve been having dizzy spells.  ❞ ❝  i’ve always had a way with ostensibly dangerous types.  ❞ ❝  wound doesn’t look good.    patch that up quick if i were you, before it starts festering.  ❞ ❝  always seemed to me you were a very complicated creature, by nature. not one to resort to such simple methods like drinking your worries away.  ❞ ❝  may i be honest? yes, i’m nervous. i really would prefer to just run off.  ❞ ❝  father always said a wise man learns from others’ mistakes, so here i am, learning from his.  ❞ ❝  ever since that horrid night...everything has changed.  ❞ ❝  what’s wrong? afraid? gut feeling queasy?  ❞ ❝  used to bother me, all your secrets...now i know if you have something to tell me, you’ll tell me.  ❞ ❝  i so don’t feel like going anywhere. sit here a while longer?  ❞ ❝  there’s something i’d like to know...how can you be so damned calm?  ❞ ❝  my knees quake like a carnival rattle.  ❞ ❝  honestly didn’t think this’d work. doubted anything would happen.  ❞

[musicallisto]

hello! i’d love to request a 🍨 for pb and got if possible. i’m she/her; bi; slytherin; september virgo; infp; 4w5. i’m 5’5”, slim build and fair-skinned with dark brown hair and the same colour eyes. as for my personality, i can be quite cold and reserved when i first meet people (which doesn’t really come out online) and i have a hard time trusting anyone new, but i truly love those closest to me. i use sarcasm 90% of the time and love teasing people but my intentions have nothing to do with hurting anyone. i subconsciously use laughter as a defence mechanism and i hate it. i’m lowkey a rebel which is just a nicer word for family disappointment. i have intense mood swings which i cope with by bottling up my emotions. i’d rather listen to people’s problems than talk about my own. despite the cold exterior, i can be soft and kind, and i believe in freedom and equality. i’m ambitious and love learning but not in the way school is trying to force me to - ew. my hobbies include reading books 24/7, writing (much less of the time, but hey, i still get around to it every once in a while) and watching tv shows. i’m also a cinephile and you can trust me with a list of recommendations for your next movie night.

i do hope this is enough; thank you very much fren xx

here’s your vanilla milkshake, Réka, and thank you for your patience! I think you would be amazing with these two incredible women - sansa stark and ada shelby!

You had been Sansa’s friend for as long as you could remember.

Social differences didn’t matter in the North as much as they did in the South, especially because the Lords of Winterfell had always been close to their people.

So despite the fact that she was highborn and proudly bore the name of the Starks, and you were a tanner’s daughter from Winterfell, your friendship with Sansa had never been frowned upon.

Especially since Ned clearly saw how much fun his daughter had with you. You were the only person she could be seen getting a little muddy and mischievous with. You weren’t true troublemakers, of course, especially not since Arya was the point of reference... but you had your moments of mindless fun.

Being best friends with Sansa was effortless; you hadn’t had to warm up to her, because you had always been close confidantes to one another. She understood everything about you, even when you didn’t say a word...

... but during your teenage years, when you both came of age and other townsfolk your age started discussing boys and flings, a pang of desire started to blossom inside of you and course through your veins.

Maybe you wanted more than to simply be Sansa’s best friend, after all.

Maybe there was more to the way you found yourself staring into her deep, blue eyes like they were the only color worthy of attention...

When Sansa announces that she is to leave for King’s Landing and marry Joffrey, you get into a pretty heated argument, the first you’ve had in more than ten years of friendship.

Part of you is reasonably upset that she kept a news so important a secret from you for so long; and another part of you is mortified and furious at the idea of her going to the capital and becoming Queen to the arm of a petty little brute as snotty as Joffrey Baratheon...

... when she could have stayed at Winterfell and, perhaps, one day, have made you Lady right alongside her.

You’d been bottling up your feelings for her for quite a while and didn’t know how to deal with them - terrified of rejection, but also of not acting out on them and lose her to another... and when she told you she would be leaving, it was like both nightmares coming true at once. There was no use anymore in snarky side remarks, and you exploded from sheer frustration and fright.

Obviously, she couldn’t possibly comprehend why you were so mad about her not telling you all about her family business - which was more about political affairs, anyway -, so you couldn’t sort out your disagreement,

and gave each other the cold shoulder for a few days.

Until the last night before her departure for the South with her father, where you snuck into the castle courtyard to say your farewells and bid her well - fearing you would not be able to if front of everyone on the following morning

And when she came down to meet you with a frown on her heavenly face, the words escaped your mouth before you could control them; they had been a long time coming, but at least they were out and you would not have to carry your secret to the tomb.

And she wanted to get mad at you for getting on your high horse and blowing up when you could have just as easily told her the truth...

... but she’s so elated that her feelings are reciprocated

... that even if she’s leaving for a place of appearances and to be auctioned off to the highest bidder, at least she knows there exists someone outside of her family who sincerely loves her and will always care for her

... and that there exists a world in which you love her and she loves you and that she just happens to live in this world

... that she just kissed you underneath the moonlight, desperate to get a taste of the last element of realness and familiarity that she’d keep to memory.

Of course, going to the capital and to Court had always been her biggest dream, but when she held you in her arms, she wasn’t so sure anymore it was worth leaving you behind.

“So you’re still going?”

“I have to.”

“I wish I could go with you.”

“I’ll be back. I promise I’ll do what it takes to return to the North and find you again.”

A Stark always followed through with their promises; that much you knew.

Ada and you are passionate about the same things, namely freedom and equality, which makes it easy for you two to hit it off.

You meet at a communist rally, where you’re instantly impressed by and drawn to her strong voice and stronger convictions. She doesn’t talk excessively, but isn’t unafraid to make her voice heard and opinions known.

From your very first meeting, you get a glimpse of how utterly devoted and dedicated to the cause Ada is, and that is even before recognizing her as a Shelby. Though you should have figured earlier - there aren’t many people, especially not women in Birmingham, who would talk so freely and pit herself against the men.

It makes her all the more attractive to you.

Still, you don’t develop a relationship of any kind until long after you met - but she’s a regular at communist rallies and actions for the party, as are you. You end up crossing paths quite often.

She’s an incredible orator, and is brazen enough not to be intimidated by the stares of every passerby when she must deliver passionate speeches about the progressive radicality of your movement. You realize you make an excellent pair - you’re a skilled writer who can move even the most disbelieving of men with your words, and she can blow life into them like no other.

So you write her speeches and she delivers your ideas to the whole world when you’re too insecure to do it.

And you progressively fall more and more in love with her, with how confident and blunt and daring she is.

She loves how well-read you are, too, and she tells you often the world would be a better place if it were filled with women like you, bright and selfless, not these greedy, idiot men who tear each other apart in pointless wars...

You relate so much to the experience of being perceived as a rebel simply for being a family outcast, it’s another bonding point between the two of you.

You don’t necessarily display a lot of affection when you’re together - partly because your relationship would cause quite the scandal if it came to light, but mostly because it’s just not your type.

You both can be quite swept up by the passion, especially when you're still on the adrenaline high from a chase from the cops or one of those Shelby businesses, which will often culminate in breathless, frenzied kisses in an alleyway...

... but the rest of the time, you’re more about sarcastic comments and a little bit of “tough love”.

Though you are fascinated by the relatively modern invention that is cinema in Birmingham, and on the rare occasion you have time and peace of mind enough to go to the “moving pictures”, Ada will, of course, come with...

... and it will most likely include sneaking into the projectionist’s room, a friend of yours from the party, and making out in there for most of the duration of the film.

800 follower sleepover CLOSED!

[untitledtheunknown]

Psychofans & Mediacorps

(Backstory and lore on some psychofan encounters and the attempted kidnapping of Kerry Eurodyne along with some related events with Johnny Silverhand. Written as a Screamsheet because I was bored, and this all isn’t 100% since actual events aren’t always fully disclosed. Word count: 2976. Sources at the end.)

Being a world famous Rockerboy is really all it’s chalked up to be, doesn’t mean there isn’t its fair share of snags along the way. Fame and glory comes with a heavy price tag many don’t realize as they’re building their way to the top. Blinded by having your name in the lights, seeing hundreds of thousands of fans all eagerly waiting to just get a glimpse of you. Night City Legend Kerry Eurodyne commented, “It’s scary. I mean, to think that one hundred thousand people are selling their souls to see you, and you’ve got them hanging on your every word.” The very fans that would kill for a chance to see their idols live, are the very same that would put them on Trauma. 

Not just the fans either. Corporate is everywhere, in everything. Fight the system through lyrics while making them richer all the same. Media giants like N54 and DMS buying up the whole show to beat on their chest about who has the most control. The issue comes with their greed for it, keeping those who give them wealth on short leashes. Best offers, benefits, prestige of having a higher name attached to yours. But when friendship runs deeper than the quick climb to fame, other options of “persuasion” may occur. Aggressive strategies to keep themselves on top, because the company always come first.

We’re going to start this article off on arguably a lighter topic, that being the psychofans. I say arguably because they can do just as much damage as the corporations, but it's usually a bit more controlled. We'll hit on that later. There’s the usual rush security, jump fences, steal an axe, the almost seemingly normal chaotic fan behavior you can expect at most high profile gigs. Don’t lie, there’s always one in the audience. 

The sudden rise to fame with Samurai also helped play a part in this erratic behavior, Eurodyne had previously stated, “One minute we’re chugging through our old numbers in some small, no name club to the same crowd; the next we’ve sold out Wembley Stadium and there are a hundred thousand killing each other to get a look at us.” This wasn’t much of an overstatement either. Samurai’s rapid rise to fame took a mere three weeks after signing to Universal Music to reach the number one spot on EuroRadio charts. Everyone wanted a piece of Samurai then, and following the break up in late 2007 that craving didn’t soon die out. 

A number of incidents have happened, being on world tours is a crazy place. Never really know how fans are going to act until you’re in the thick of it. Most these incidents happen backstage, after gigs, or just by random chance coming across someone on the streets, in the open. One particular incident was documented in 2020 in the following of Trauma Team’s Rich “Meatball” Cramer M.D., Lifeline Trauma Inc., Night City Branch #23. 

Broken card call, 15:55, to the Grand Illusion Dance Hall and Bar. Patient being none other than one Rockerboy, Kerry Eurodyne. Compared to the rest of the logs of the night this was a breath of fresh air for the Lifeline agents, not so much for Mr. Eurodyne who was being assaulted by a gang of young female fans. Teargas was dispensed and our Rocker was extracted from the scene. Kerry was in good health at time of extraction, footing the bill of the call to the studio as well as a new set of clothes. Lawsuits were never charged as the fans left enjoying the chaos. 

Another lesser known act back in 2043-44, while performing in Memphis TN an assailant got backstage and put a knife to Kerry’s throat. Intentions of the attack are unknown. Could have been a psychofan making demands of an idol, or someone who knew the net wealth of the name Kerry Eurodyne at the time? Either way the incident ended without bloodshed, Kerry was able to talk the assailant down and promptly knock him out with a stiff pour of that high life tequila. The rest was handled by the venue’s security. Unfortunately events like these are almost common for the stardom lifestyle. 

Lives are kept under public scrutiny 24/7. “Be prepared to have your private life open to the world,” Rockerboy, Johnny Silverhand, had mentioned in a column from Advice From the Pros. Name in the lights simply means just that, private life is on show as well and nothing can truly be kept secret forever. Kerry Eurodyne had added, “Cover your ass on your social life, the mediacorps are capable of setting you up bigtime in compromising situations… Make sure you know who you’re hanging out with, and something about their friends.” Not just fans and so called friends you need to watch out for, but the very people you sign yourself away with. 

Rockers Kerry Eurodyne and Johnny Silverhand are no stranger to this cold truth. Even mediacorps you don’t sign with will have motives, and often resources, to try and gain a signature. Corporations will often go after the output/input or family of the Talent instead of the Talent itself. However, big companies like DMS, the rival to N54 News, also have other methods to “persuade” a contract breach and change. Both Kerry and Johnny were targeted by this particular company, though this time it was Eurodyne dragging Silverhand into trouble. 

After the time Samurai had broken up for good, late 2007 early 2008 Kerry was looking for a decent solo deal. This was a gamble for most Labels at the time, Johnny was the frontman of Samurai, Kerry’s true talent had yet to really flourish into the Legend we know today. At this stage in their careers they were just some new-boy artists, that had a couple songs and albums that made it big. A lot of bands will have their handfuls of top sellers and then disappear into a faded memory. However, media giant DMS saw promise in Kerry, and they quickly came out with an offer for the young Rockerboy that would put him right back on the road to stardom. 

Kerry was going to take the offer until Universal came up with an offer that wouldn’t just set him up but Johnny as well. The two decided that the offer Universal had was too good to pass up, and with good reason. Universal not only was packaging the two Rockerboys together as independent solo artists, they were offering a better deal as a whole. Since Universal already knew them from Samurai, and knew what the two could produce, formalities of signing a new band was skipped. Re-signing with Universal gave them guaranteed concessions normally only offered to major bands or superstars. 

DMS didn’t come back with a counter offer, they came back with threats. Eurodyne, and those close to him, started to receive threats from the mediacorp, these quickly escalated to hired thugs harassing and assaulting everyone in the Rocker’s inner circle, as well as himself. A common tactic for many corporations to get what they want. However, Kerry wasn’t folding to their pressure, sticking with his decision with Johnny to sign to Universal. At this point the signatures were received and Kerry’s talent was the official property of Universal Music once again. This only made the situation worse, and turned into a rather rare occurrence for the music scene. 

Major corporations have a number of outlets that they have at full disposal to get what and whom they want, when they want. DMS is not unique in this fact, but they do have one of the more unique techniques. DMS is creative, deadly, and, for a corporation its size, dangerously agile. They are known for their aggressive and ruthless recruiting tactics, and they do not take “no” with grace. 

Eurodyne’s fate, to DMS, was sealed the moment they selected him, no matter his choice. DMS starts with a fair offer, most of it coming with the prestige of having their name backing you and their benefits package. In the case of Eurodyne, where this was not enough, DMS will call on their Special Recruiting Division, which is devoted solely to recruiting and converting people who are reluctant to sign to DMS. A fancy way of saying they send in their black ops section to perform extractions on those who are bound by contract or reluctant to leave their current company. 

Extractions are illegal, but the government is in the pocket of these corporate giants. Though they hardly ever send their own people, so even if the extraction does fail the proof of finding out who sponsored the extraction is normally too timely, over looked, or asking corpses. Most these companies hire Solos to get the job done, a number of groups exist in this profession alone. Extractions are unsettling common in the corpo world that counter extractions are budgeted into company spending plans. As well many big companies have jealousy protection, and pre-planned countermeasures to prevent extraction attempts of their employees or Talents.

Now, you may be asking yourself, “If they didn’t want to work for them before, what would kidnapping them do?” Well, DMS and other companies thought about this issue as well. How do you force someone to work for you? Blackmail is the obvious answer, to the Talent, to their friends, their family, etc. It's a simple fix that will get a result, but can’t guarantee the product. Its proven effective though, reputation is everything- threats to destroy that are not taken lightly. For a company like DMS, they have a one up on this if they can't get the Talent to see eye to eye with their terms. “Talent Indoctrination”, TI for short, otherwise known as brainwashing to the common choom. It's a program used for winning over people who express resistance to “joining the DMS family” even after extraction. 

TI is only a rumor outside of the highest levels of the corporation, and those who have been subjected to it. Luckily, TI section failures are rare, unluckily survival of TI section failures is even rarer. DMS, however, is willing to risk TI only on targets with a high enough revenue generation potential. Executives are more at risk than artists, given artists are seen as disposable and the average commercial shelf-life of a DMS Music artist is only a couple years. Most only making it an average of two before they’re dropped back to performing at clubs and bars for the same hundred fans, if that. 

This was the threat Kerry was under, one that became very real one fateful day when the Rockerboy was abducted by a group of hired muscle from the corporation. While Kerry was successfully kidnapped and relocated, the extraction itself failed due to intervention of Legendary Solo, Morgan Blackhand. Blackhand was able to capture all five kidnappers, alone, and turned them over to the Federal Authorities. Beaten, battered, and bruised but all five were alive when they were handed over. This act alone humiliated DMS, who was only found later on in investigation to have been the group’s sponsor. Its not unheard of extractions being foiled, but for a company like DMS it was a shot to their pride since Kerry would know it was them that called it. The real humiliation of it comes from the fact Blackhand snagged them all alive, allowing the truth to be exposed to the public, tarnishing that royal reputation of theirs, though no legal action would be taken.

Embarrassing a huge company like that puts a major target on your back. Legality they could care less about, but reputation is not something any corporation wants to gamble with. Morgan Blackhand would become a target for a later date, DMS wasn’t done with Kerry Eurodyne yet. Now, though, their attention was brought to one of the key elements for why Kerry declined their original offer; Johnny Silverhand. 

“They were threatening Johnny and I with things like government investigations and stuff. By the time that threat was made, we’d already signed with Universal…” Eurodyne recalled during an interview. It was true, DMS had dug not only into Kerry’s past life but Johnny’s as well. They were at the stage of “If we can’t have you, no one will.” While Eurodyne’s rap sheet was arguably cleaner, DMS was preparing to go full out, and all in to find anything they could. What they had as their ace was Silverhand’s military past, and they knew they could find the same information about Eurodyne as well or paint him for it. Both Rockers had served during the 2000’s Central American Conflict, Johnny’s desertion was all they needed to start the fire.

DMS was preparing to take this knowledge to the government, and at that point they could say and paint anything on Kerry as well. Their careers were about to end before they even began. Short on time, they did the only thing they could do, they went to Universal Music. With the counter threat of exposure of DMS’s corruption and abusive power over their Talents, Universal made their position clear. This was a PR move, DMS could go to their pocket government agents to have the Rockerboy’s locked away for life, but Universal was going for their public appearance. The ends didn't justify the means, DMS backed down.

Lawsuits were dropped, threats ceased, no more extraction attempts were made on either rockstar. They were given freedom to produce their albums and do tours under the protection of Universal. It wouldn’t be for another several years down the line when DMS would rear its ugly head back into their lives. Well, only in passing.

Denny, the former drummer of Samurai, had a new band called Mastermind that was being recorded by DMS Music. “She knows how I feel about them, but the contract they’ve got is suitable for her, so I’m not going to interfere as long as she is happy.” Kerry had stated on the matter back in late 2013, “Even now you won’t find Johnny or I saying anything remotely positive about DMS… I’m just glad no one was listening when I made certain comments or some of my fans might have taken those rash words to heart and we might have had some serious problems.” A tongue in cheek response to the 13 April 2013 Arasaka Riots led by Johnny Silverhand, under the old band's name of Samurai. Rioters killed 18 and wounded 51 on that night, gutting the Arasaka complex. An event that would only deepen the wedge between the two Rockerboys, yet redefine them entirely.

Silverhand, however, would be blackmailed again later on in 2009 by EBS Records to leave Universal and sign a solo contract with them. EBS had found out that Johnny was an AWOL U.S. Marine who had deserted during the Second Conflict. The blackmail attempt was quickly dropped as Johnny came clean himself, revealing all his secrets and shining light on the plight of veterans of the covert war, with his now famous album Sins of Your Brother. 

One thing the Rocker was known for was starting changes with his music, back in late 2012 Silverhand had an assassination attempt on his life believed to be sourced from Biotechnica do to their belief of controversal opinions to their practices heard on his album Clone Wars. Being forced to take several months of seclusion to let the heat die down before going on tour himself.

Given all of this, and much more, they had been relatively lucky. Maybe not with the fans, Eurodyne still faces the masses though in some more creative ways now. Having his biometric data copyrighted, and agreements with NCPD to monitor CCTVs for any unauthorized replications. Hasn't stopped some from trying, going as far as faking nudes that broke headlines awhile back only to have frisky imaginations shot down by his management. As far as Johnny goes, I don't think anything beats the rumor that was circulating sometime after the events of Arasaka Tower back in 2023. The idea some obsessive fan sneaked past security of the city to dig through the rubble, locating his body to put on ice and keep like some kind of memorabilia? It sounds crazy, but everyone in Night City knew what kind of fans Samurai, and more importantly, Johnny Silverhand had. Made it completely possible and people didn't really doubt that it could be true.

With corporations though, the two Rockerboys dodged a bullet. Multiples if you were keeping count. Others haven't been so lucky. A number of stories of Talents being threatened and giving into demands, multiple assassination attempts to end someone's career, Talents being kidnapped and tortured, so far as one account of a musicians hands being crushed to prevent preformances. From the outside being a Rockerboy looks like a party scene, and a lot of it is, but as the longest living in the scene will tell you, keep a Solo and a Netrunner you trust close on personal pay.

Events come full circle, once you make it to the big time stardom, the public eye notices everything, hangs onto every word. Talents like Silverhand and Eurodyne control the masses in the same way the corporations do. The audiences look to them for guidance, though in some cases the lessons are lost in translation. With everything from greedy labels making backdoor deals behind their Talent’s backs, something Kerry Eurodyne and Us Cracks went through this year, to psychofans making their own demands, to corporate reputation wars. Being a Rockerboy never gets easier, but few have hardly ever survived the test of time as Kerry has. An uphill battle from his earliest beginnings, to sitting on the Rockerboy throne of Night City, well into 2077 and still holding the title of "God of Rock" without a fault. 

Sources and Quotes:

Rockerboy Source Book

Backstage with Kerry Eurodyne page 7-9

Extortion. Bribery. Kidnapping. Brainwashing. And Other Nasty Tricks. Page 44-45

Cyberpunk 2.0.2.0. The Second Edition

Silverhand Update: Clone Tour Begins page 225

One Night with the TRAUMA TEAM page 231 

Live & Direct 

Diverse Media Systems “Technotainment” page 81-82

Solo of Fortune Vol II Source Book

American Angels: One of Europe’s Best Rates the Top U.S. Pros. page 63

Cyberpunk Red

Welcome to the Dark Future page 239

Cyberpunk 2077

Spector Melee Vendor Westbrook

Gig: Psychofans Gaston Slayton's computer

Shard Glam Now! - The Mag For Those Who Love This For Themselves

[savagetrickster]

BNHA | ‘Cause I’m a fool

— BNHA BOOKCLUB BINGO EVENT  —

anime |  character: bnha | todoroki shouto

words: 1.7k 

prompt/crossed out: “Theme Park Date” 

Themes/Warnings: mildly angsty, pinning

Inspiration/Song: a playlist of Korean OSTs from various dramas

Beta-readers: @etegomanere, @hanniejji, @pixxiesdust, @dragonhrte​,@todoscript (who also gave me her input about the title and banner though it’s still kinda plain ><)

Tags: at the bottom of this post <3

You’ve been friends with Todoroki Shouto long enough to learn just about anything you needed to know about him.

From the strife within the Todoroki family to the ones in his heart.

You were there right from the start. 

Being the daughter of the head servant serving the Todoroki family, you’ve grown up with him from the corners and shadows of the household. 

You’ve watched him struggle, fall, and climb back to his feet again. 

His body was always covered in bandages. 

Some scattered across his skin in white patches, while some stretched long and wrapped around his limbs. No matter how hard he tried to appear fine, you could always see his peeling, inflamed skin peeking out from underneath the bandages and the trembles in his body he tried so hard to suppress around you. 

Even with the bandages littered across his body, they could not hide the pain he held in his eyes.

But you’d never seen him shed a single tear. 

Instead, his tears seemed to be permanently embedded into him from the way he carried the weight of the duty cruelly thrusted upon him.

At the end of every day, you often found yourself sitting quietly beside him on the veranda under the stars, offering him a bit of comfort with the soothing tune your mother sang to you every night.

If you could put a smile on his face, albeit how small or weak, it would be enough.

You followed him through the years, thriving on your strong devotion to be the net that could catch him if he fell. 

You didn’t know what compelled him to, but all those nights he unveiled the secrets behind the pain in his eyes...

Something about that made you want to stay by his side, to be the one to shield him so he didn’t have to hurt anymore. 

You’ve never been one to be flustered over your lack of quirk,but he made you wistful for one that could nullify the pain he had in him.

All you wanted was to see him smile from his heart. And that was one thing that you swore you would do, no matter how long it took.

You could never really place a finger on why you were so adamant about it — friendship was always the reason that sprang up on you.  

Shouto wasn’t as aloof with you as he was with other people.

But seeing how he had to deflect the attention he drew left and right like they were pesky flies he didn’t want to deal with, made you worry.

Were you a nuisance who he felt bad shoving away? Someone he had to force himself to interact with?

Maybe you should just stay in your own lane?

You grew more convinced of your doubts the longer you stayed in the Todoroki residence. The smiles you always managed to curl on his lips when you were kids got harder to find on his face, even with the tune you hummed.

The ice he built around him just seemed to grow thicker and thicker in the passing years.

Around you, the ice would only thaw a little.

Your hopes were always raised by the subtle softening around the icy edge in his eyes that you couldn’t help but notice when he spoke to you or you to him. 

However, they always fell flat when the distance between you two on the veranda remained the same later in the nights. 

There was more silence than words, and quite often, you found him hastily averting his gazes the moment your eyes met.

Unfortunately, you never got the chance to find the answers behind his behavior around you. There wasn’t enough time.

Right before middle school, your mother found another job in a few cities away. 

This meant you no longer lived in the Todoroki residence, and this also meant that nights on the veranda with him had to come to an end as well.

But being forced to part with him was what helped you understand the reason why your eyes were always on his back.

It wasn’t merely...plainly out of friendship.

It was not his status, his wealth, or his handsome face you couldn’t bear to leave behind — it was neither of the things that drew attention to him. 

It was the scars he bore in his very soul and the hidden tears under the frost in those heterochromatic eyes. 

His strength to stand strong in the face of adversity.

It was everything that made him...him that made it clear. 

…that you loved him. 

Several years had passed since you left the Todoroki residence with your mother.

Now, you’re in the third year of high school and he was in his, at the reputable hero school — U.A. High. You only knew this because you’ve watched the events broadcasted on your television. 

You were no longer in contact with him. 

There were exchanges of texts in the first few weeks after you left, but these fizzled out to mere birthday wishes, and eventually to nothing at all.

His responses to you were prompt but you couldn’t help feeling like an annoyance to him. 

The same questions never stopped haunting you — especially were you a nuisance who he felt bad shoving away?  —  while you were still with the Todoroki. 

Your fingers were always hovering over the keypad in the chatroom you shared with him, making the blinking cursor dance back and forth in the text bar, stuck between eating up words and producing words.

Words from his side too ceased after yours and they never popped in on your notification bar again.

Your eyes lingered on the last text you sent to him four years ago,

Happy birthday, Shouto-kun! 

There was nothing else following it. 

Nibbling on your lips thoughtfully, your fingers hovered above the keypad. 

You tried to pluck up the courage to wish him again like you did back then. 

Seconds ticked by before your finger thumbed down on the back button on your screen to exit the chatroom.

As always, whatever amount of courage you mustered always crumbled away quickly as it built.

A heavy sigh sifted through your lips as you stopped before the main entrance of Neverland, glancing up from your phone to the burst of screams coming before you.

Along with jittery adrenaline carried by the voices on the other side, the towering sight of the red-black tracks peeking over the main gate instantly lifted you right out of your brooding, pensive mood. 

You couldn’t help but break into a grin as you squinted eagerly under the bright morning sun for a sign of Shinsou who told you on a text that he had alighted at the bus stop outside at the main road.

You’ve always wanted to visit the new theme park ever since its opening was announced across the nation a month ago. 

The tickets sold out fast so unfortunately, you only managed to order two. 

When they arrived safely in your mailbox, your first thought, reminded by the date — 11th January — on the tickets, going to Shouto was scrapped as quickly as it came.

Shinsou, who you’d grown close enough to be considered your best friend in middle school replaced him quickly. 

The grin on your face widened when your eyes fell onto the familiar figure of Shinsou who was glancing around for you. 

“Hitoshi!” You called out.

The excitement flooding your veins lighted your eyes as you watched him walk towards you, hands in his pocket.

Caught up in the high you felt, you failed to notice the small amused smile curling his lips and how his eyes softened at the child-like eagerness your eyes practically danced with.

Ever since he woke this morning, his phone had been constantly vibrating with messages from his friends, flooding his messaging app with birthday wishes.

And like every time, he found himself waiting for one.

He couldn’t help the hopes he harbored whenever his eyes went straight to the sender’s name the moment his phone pinged with a new message.

He didn’t know why, even after four years, he was still waiting for your name to appear. 

He always found himself staring at the chatroom he shared with you, even when he knew there was nothing to expect, remembering with a bitter taste in his mouth, that he was the one who had stopped reaching out to you. 

Of how he had just left your wish on his 14th birthday hanging awkwardly in the silence because he forgot and only realized by the time your birthday passed.

Attempting to pick up from where you two left off was like standing on a sandhill; no matter how much he wanted to send something over, he could never find the right words — the courage his attempts thrived upon to break the ice fell as soon it rose, interfered by wisps of doubts.

Wondering if it was better if he left you alone instead, he recalled the way you’d always wept for him. Reminding himself that the pain he felt reflecting in yours was why he chose silence on the veranda then.

Could he bear to drag you back into his problems, to watch you break down for him again when you were finally free? 

He never attempted ever since then. However, that didn’t stop him from being wistful.

It’s been years but his heart still soared and sank every time his phone vibrated on this day.

Longing...wishing you were still part of his life.

Because things were different now. He was different now. 

Even with the same issues lingering in the background, he was happier now. 

A long sigh dragged through him as his eyes lingered at the bottom of his inbox where the chatroom he shared with you remained silent, a huge contrast to the active ones it was buried under.

His fingers hesitated, grazing lightly over your name indicated on it.

“Todoroki-kun!”

Shouto looked up from his phone to find Momo hunch over before him, apologizing for making him wait between harsh pants.

—He wasn’t lonely anymore. 

“Yaoyorozu.” Shouto acknowledged her with a small smile.

—friends are what he has now.

Like Momo who cared so much she specially purchased Neverland tickets for his birthday. 

He couldn’t help feeling grateful for her enthusiasm in celebrating his birthday with him, from the way she stuttered and blushed inviting him to go with her.

As they began walking toward the main entrance of the theme park, his eyes fell onto his phone once more with emptiness reverberating faintly within him.

His life was in a better place now but your absence did not sit well with him. 

And it never would.

|  Next

Tags: @bnhabookclub​, @shoutodoki​, @sugacookiies​, @wesparklebitch​, @prismaroyal​, @apricotjihyo​, @morenabambinii​, @warriorsofficial​, @hanmarazon​, @sauce-pansexuals​, @justsomekid00​, @lilcura1209, @ewwis​, @winkenthusiastic​, @thegalxe​, @yurioseokies​

[atelier-dayz]

Wish you would write a fic where obi wan loses his memories after order66 and runs into vader (mustafar fight never happens)

Okay, when I first saw this, I had SO MANY QUESTION. But I figured something out. Not sure if this is even remotely what you expected but I had fun! :D

There’s something coming. 

‘Bi has no frame of reference for exactly what, but he has a bad feeling about it. The varactyls who have taken him into their lounge[1] are agitated, keeping closer to their nesting grounds than usual. Boga refuses to leave his side for even a moment, though she has stayed close ever since he’d washed ashore with her all those months ago, only a scant handful of memories to call his own.

They had been shot at, the blaster holes in his clothes and the burns scoring Boga’s side clear evidence of that -- and incentive enough for him to stay hidden away with the varactyls. He has avoided contact with anyone, but especially with the troopers in white armor milling around the closest city. Over the months, the troopers’ presence has diminished, though not disappearing entirely, and ‘Bi[2] still hides, something within him, the same something that allows him to connect with Boga and the others, telling him that something terrible has happened out in the galaxy, that he mustn't be found. Someone had wanted him, whomever he’d been, dead, and he must keep up that illusion. 

He has spent months living with the varactyls, living off the land with the knowledge left from his missing past. He tries to recall his memories, but is entirely unsuccessful. The feeling of being...hunted had faded as time had passed, but now that feeling is back.

Suddenly, a strange howl fills the air, and he and the varactyls look up as almost one as a small, black starfighter streaks across the sky, heading for the encampment of troopers just outside the city. Whoever is coming, they’re after him, he thinks. 

He’s morbidly curious about this newcomer, but an insistent and anxious Boga has him climbing onto her back. They flee, the lounge of varactyls swiftly climbing up and down the rough terrain, farther and farther away from the city. 

They are found anyways. 

A gunship descends onto the mesa where they’d chosen to rest for the night. They hold themselves silent and still, hidden behind the rocky outcrops in hopes of not being detected. ‘Bi spies through a slit between two slabs of rock as a man jumps out of the gunship before it even lands, his black cloak fluttering in his wake. One trooper jumps after him from a more reasonable height, a long blaster rifle in his hands.  

The man in black stalks forward, head turning left and right as he searches. His face is familiar. Somehow, ‘Bi knows him -- no, he had known him, but not this man before him now. This man feels like a jagged, festering wound, like fury and despair and pain all rolled into a miasma. His eyes are--wrong, glowing gold in the dimming light even at a distance. 

“I sense him. He’s here,” growls the man in black. 

“He’s not dead after all?” comes the distorted voice of the trooper through his visored helmet.

“If he was dead, I would have felt it,” the man says. “As it is--” 

‘Bi scrambles back as the man abruptly lunges forward and, a molten red-bladed sword in hand, cuts apart the rock formation he’d been hiding behind. A lightsaber, the word comes to him as he shields his face from the smoldering debris. 

“Obi-wan, you’re looking rough,” the man drawls, looming over him with his saber halfway extended towards ‘Bi.

“I--oh, that is my name, isn’t it?” 'Bi remarks as he gets to his feet. Obi-wan. Obi-wan Kenobi. 

“What do you mean--" the man falters. "Of course that's your name. What are you playing at?" He scowls, and Obi-wan stiffens as the man fully extends his saber at his throat. 

He remembers then holding a lightsaber once, remembers the live wire heft of holding one. A blue one, not screaming red like the one at his throat. His lightsaber. 

Now, he thinks, would certainly be a good time to have it, as the man glares down at him with those sickly yellow eyes.

"As I only have memories of the last few months, the Obi-wan you knew is...not present, so to speak," he says.

The man huffs. "That's the game you want to play? Surely the Negotiator can lie better than that--no, I know you can, with all the lies you've --"

He's interrupted by a screech as Boga leaps out from cover at him. 

"Boga, don't!" With alarm, Obi-wan raises an arm as if that would prevent her from lunging at the man. 

The man twists his face into a snarl and holds his free hand out towards her, fingers curling almost like claws. With a whine, Boga collapses onto the ground next to Obi-wan, head flailing and limbs scrambling against the dirt. 

"Boga." Obi-wan senses her pain sharply and strokes a hand over her feathered head as if that would soothe and shield her from what the man is doing to her. "Let her go, Anakin!" 

The name just slips out. 

Pain rips through his head as a smattering of memories return to him.

Anakin. Jedi Knight. The "Hero with No Fear." His former student. His friend. His brother.  

He recognizes nothing of the boy or man he'd once known in the man before him. 

"Anakin Skywalker was weak, and he is dead. I am Darth Vader," Anakin declares, and only after a few long moments, as if to prove a point, does he drop his hand. 

Boga slumps to the ground with a weak whine, and Obi-wan continues to stroke her head. 

"That was much too dangerous, my dear," he tells her. "Don't you worry about me, I'll be alright." 

"So sure of yourself, aren't you?" remarks Vader. "What was it you always lectured me about? 'Your lightsaber is your life?' Well, your lightsaber is gone, which means, so is your life.” 

Vader raises his saber, ready to strike Obi-wan down right there.

But Obi-wan is distracted. 

He should have realized. Varactyls are remarkably loyal creatures, and they had just spent months protecting him. They certainly aren’t going to stop now, as suddenly, trills fill the air. The entire lounge of varactyls charges out from all different directions, having taken the time to encircle them -- to encircle Vader.

Obi-wan knows though, that Vader would have no qualms cutting every single one of them down -- and looks ready to do so, pivoting to the nearest approaching varactyl and changing the grip on his saber as if he’s about to use it as a throwing spear. 

“No!” Obi-wan shouts, and through pure instinct, gathers up the something that’s been guiding him -- the Force -- and pushes with both hands. 

The invisible shove sends Vader flying into the air with a yelp, lightsaber slipping from his hand --  

Though this outcome does not surprise him nearly as much as seeing the trooper swing his rifle like a bat at just the right timing to send Vader off the edge of the mesa, Vader’s enraged roar trailing after him[3]. 

As the varactyls skid to a halt in a protective circle around him and Boga, Obi-wan gapes at the trooper, who takes a moment to look over the edge to follow Vader’s descent, before turning to Obi-wan. The trooper takes off his helmet, revealing a face identical to all the others save for a scar curving around his left eye and down the side of his face. 

“General, we should leave. I can’t say how long that will actually hold him,” the trooper says, gesturing to the gunship, where more helmetless troopers happen to peer out of the doors. 

Obi-wan squints at the trooper, taking in that distinctive scar, the left shoulder antenna, and the remnants of orange paint scratched off the armor. 

Crossing his arms, he remarks, “My memories might not be all here, but I’m fairly certain you shot at us.”

The trooper grimaces and brushes a hand over a surgical scar on the side of his head. Obi-wan hadn't noticed it before.

“I would never willingly shoot you, sir,” the trooper says. “...they put chips in our heads, turned us into drones the moment the...Emperor said the right words.” 

Obi-wan relaxes a bit, sensing the truth in those words, though that is a rather messy and likely painful subject to revisit at a more...appropriate time and setting.

“You...weren’t bluffing about the memories?” asks the trooper with a deep frown.

“Unfortunately not. They seem to be coming back though, in bits and pieces.”

“Oh, well then, Cody, at your service. I was your second before...well, before.”

More than that, he’d been a dear and trusted friend, Obi-wan senses, before the terrible things had happened. There are things, he suspects, that can never be fixed, but their friendship will not be one of them.

“We better get going, sir,” Cody says. 

Obi-wan makes to join him, but stops when the varactyls crowd around him. With a smile, he reaches out pat each of their heads. 

“Thank you for your help, all of you,” he tells them. “I wouldn’t have made it all this time without you.” 

They nip at his clothes and hair and bump his shoulders before edging away, and Boga bounds forward to his side, now recovered. He strokes her feathered head for a moment.

“I guess this is where we part ways then, Boga. You’ve been a wonderful friend. Do take care of yourself, all right?” 

But as he goes to join Cody then, Boga trills and follows him. He raises an eyebrow at her, but he can sense her devotion, her intent to continue following him wherever that may be.

“I...don’t think that’s the best idea, my dear,” he says, “Your home is here. Your friends and family are here.” But she trills again and even begins walking to the gunship without them.

“She’s welcome to come along, sir, there’s plenty of room where we’re going,” Cody says, failing utterly to not look like he’s smirking at Obi-wan. 

“And where exactly are we going?” Obi-wan asks.

“To the Rebellion, of course.”

Notes:

[1]A collective of lizards is apparently a “lounge of lizards” and since varactyls are lizard-like I went with that lol

[2] Obi-wan calls himself ‘Bi because that’s what it sounds like when the varactyls are specifically calling him.

[3] For visualization, please see Lumi’s gif at the end of this post with Cody using his rifle as a baseball bat.

Vader!Anakin’s speech patterns annoy me so much but they are what they are *sigh*. 

I kept accidentally referring to varactyls as vacteryls because there’s a medical syndrome called VACTERL alskdfjlkasj

[setethsbigbaratitties]

as much as a i like the new lif/thrasir duo unit i am still miffed that sharena didn’t get to be in the day of devotion banner SO i kind of banged out a quick lif and sharena support bc they deserve to have some closure together!! feat. some bonus alfonse in the C and A support

C Support

Sharena: Hum...I’m so bored. Tell me something to do, Alfonse.

Alfonse: I’m kind of busy right now, Sharena. Go read a book or something.

Sharena:  I’ve already read a bunch today! My eyes are gonna turn into jelly.

Alfonse: Then go find someone to talk to.

Sharena: I did. Everyone I wanted to talk to is busy.

Alfonse: Well, so am I! Go play in the garden or something!

Sharena: Ugh! Fine. I’ll go to the garden, because you’re clearly not fun to talk to right now anyway.

…

Sharena: Humph. At least the flowers are pretty like always.

Sharena: …

Sharena: Oh...I really shouldn’t have gotten mad at him. I was the one bugging him. Maybe I should pick some flowers for him...Huh?

Lif: …

Sharena: Hm. He’s picking flowers too. Maybe he’ll actually talk to me for once. Hey, Lif!

Lif: ?! Who- ah!

Sharena: It’s me! Hey, where are you going? ...He ran away. 

Sharena: ...Okay! That’s what I’m doing today! I’m gonna make Lif be my friend no matter what! Here we go!

B Support

Lif: …

Sharena: ....

Lif: ……….

Sharena: ………… (I’ve been watching him for at least an hour….he hasn’t moved at all.)

Lif: …………………..

Sharena: …………………. *sigh*

Lif: ! You!

Sharena: Whoops.

Lif: Quit following me!

Sharena: Maybe I’d quit following if you’d quit running!

Lif: Why do you think I keep distancing myself from you?

Sharena: I don’t know! Maybe you’re just shy or something?

Lif: Ha! Foolish.

Sharena: What, am I wrong? It’s not like I ever see you with anyone else. Do you even have any friends here?

Lif: I have no need of friends, either here or elsewhere.

Sharena: Don’t be silly. Everyone needs friends.

Lif: Your naivete might be charming to others, but not to me.

Sharena: Hey! Just cause I’m nice doesn’t mean I’m naive. How do you even live without friends?

Lif: I don’t; I’m dead.

Sharena: Yeah, but….

Lif: There is no but. Your time is better spent with people who want to be around you.

Sharena: You...you jerk! I can’t believe you and Alfonse are the same person!

Lif: ...Sharena…

A Support

Sharena: That was a tough battle. I can’t wait to take a nap.

Alfonse: You never can wait to take a nap, Sharena.

Sharena: What can I say? My sparkling disposition takes a lot of rest to maintain- huh?

Alfonse: What is it?

Sharena: Somebody left a bunch of pressed flowers outside of my room...It’s my favorite flower, too. They’re beautiful.

Alfonse: I wonder who could’ve done that?

Sharena: Hee hee! It’s okay if it was you.

Alfonse: It wasn’t, though. I’ve been with you pretty much all day. I haven’t even been to the garden in weeks, anyway.

Sharena: Hm...oh!

Alfonse: Sharena? Where are you going?

Sharena: Sorry, Alfonse! There’s someone I need to talk to!

…

Sharena: Hey, Lif? Please don’t run.

Lif: Princess Sharena.

Sharena: C’mon. You don’t have to call me that.

Lif: It’s your proper title, is it not?

Sharena: Yeah, but we’re family. Or we were, at least.

Lif: …...

Sharena: Okay, fine, I won’t push it. I just….thank you for the flowers. They’re my favorite.

Lif: I know.

Sharena: Um...can I ask why you went through the trouble of pressing them? I would have liked them even if you just put them in a vase. It seems like a lot of effort considering...you know. That you don’t like me very much.

Lif: …

Sharena: Okay, never mind, you don’t have to answer. Just...thanks, okay? I’ll, um, leave you alone now.

Lif: ...I don’t dislike you.

Sharena: Huh?

Lif: I could never dislike you.

Sharena: But just last week, you said you didn’t want to be around me.

Lif: That was….a lie. It’s not that I don’t want to be around you. I don’t...deserve to be around you.

Sharena: W-why do you think that?!

Lif: ...In my world, I failed to protect you. I have no right to your friendship here. It’s for the best that we not interact.

Sharena: Man, you really ARE Alfonse, aren’t you?

Lif: …?

Sharena: Sorry, but that’s one of the silliest things I’ve ever heard! I WANT you to be my friend.

Lif: You want everyone to be your friend.

Sharena: Yeah, but ESPECIALLY you! I get that things have changed and you’ve had a lot of bad stuff happen to you, but deep down you’re still my brother. I...I don’t even want to imagine what living without Alfonse would be like, so I don’t want you to go through the same thing!

Lif: Sharena-

Sharena: Nope! You don’t get to argue on this one. My Alfonse is already broody enough. If you keep bringing all this extra doom and gloom, we’ll never see the sun again.

Lif: It’s not going to be the same.

Sharena: ...I know that. I know I can’t replace the Sharena that you lost. But I don’t have to! For now I can just be your friend Sharena. And if...if that changes, and you want to think of yourself as my brother later on….that’s okay too. I’m happy either way. I just don’t want you to be alone.

Lif: ...Flowers last longer when they’re pressed.

Sharena: Huh?

Lif: You asked why I pressed the flowers instead of just giving them to you. They last longer. For years, even. I thought...it would be nice to give you something you could hold onto.

Sharena: Aww, Alfonse.

Lif: Ah.

Sharena: Oh, sorry. S-should I not call you that?

Lif: No, it’s fine. I don’t use that name anymore, but...coming from you, it’s alright.

Sharena: Hee hee! Alright, first stop in our friendship: we’re going to the market!

Lif: Why, exactly?

Sharena: You gave me such a nice gift. I need to get you something in return.

Lif: That isn’t- oh, alright...Heh. I guess you aren’t so different from her after all.

[thosequeenboys]

The Way Old Friends Do (Queen)

Author’s note:  This work is based on the ABBA Song of the same name.   The story takes place New Year’s Eve, 1973 and New Year’s Eve, 1990.  In addition to those Queen Boys, the story features Freddie’s devoted friend and personal assistant, Peter Freestone, aka Phoebe.  Numbered text is referenced at the end. This piece was published in the Some Kind of Magic Fanzine.  Wishing everyone a happy, healthy and easier!! New Year! 

Kneeling before the fireplace framed in white marble, Freddie held the match under the log tower in the deep fire box.  As it ignited before him, the flames warmed his soul and his weary body. He let the mesmerizing light transport him to the beginning, back to when they had big dreams, of creativity, of recognition.   There they were in the reel playing in his mind, circa 1973, bumbling around the studio in the pre-dawn hours, perfecting takes.  Streetlights streamed through the dirty curtains, and high heels clip clopped on the damp pavement outside the window. 

One of Freddie’s many gifts was to synthesize – this drum lick, that riff, those voice overs.  He was not the leader, he would adamantly claim over many years, but he fell naturally into the role of mediator when tensions erupted during those long nights.  When terse exchanges invaded, Fred would ensure each boy felt heard and validated.   A flurry of scenes passed through him, and he remembered each of his calming responses:  “Roger has a point.”  “Perfect Deacy, Dear, let’s give that a go.”  “Lovely, try that softer, Brian.”   The angry tension had evaporated; the outcome of his coaxed camaraderie was perfection.

Refocusing his eyes on the fire, Freddie became of aware of Phoebe silently setting up the etched champagne flutes on the bar at the back of the room and easing the chilled Dom Perignon into the silver ice bucket stand.  Freddie rose slowly, returned the iron screen and made his way to the plush settee angled toward the fireplace, eager to continue that visit back in time.  After so many years, Phoebe could tell when Freddie was engrossed in his own thoughts, creating - or lately, like tonight, reliving.  The portly man finished his tasks, and before he left the room, he eyed his dear friend taking a seat to find the relief he needed. 

Freddie blinked away the pain running through his bones and returned to the dancing fire.  In it, he saw himself walking by the turntable gingerly so the album wouldn’t skip.  His long hair fell into his face.  The music blared from the speakers.    

“Five minutes to Midnight. Let’s go!” Freddie implored, as he passed Brian and Roger lounging on opposite ends of the worn couch, their feet tangled together in the middle, and John, sitting cross-legged on the tattered easy chair, leafing through a stained magazine.   Freddie ducked into the tiny kitchenette.  He grabbed four mismatched glasses and the bottle of cheap champagne he bought earlier in the day.  It would leave a sour aftertaste, no doubt.  Fortunately, there was sufficient vodka for chasers.

“Absolutely not, Roger!” Brian’s voice rose with annoyance.

“C’mon, Brian,” Roger’s ire could not be missed.

“None of this.  Not tonight,” Freddie chided, reentering the small sitting area.  “It’s time to ring in the new year – And,”  Freddie purred, as he uncorked and poured the champagne, “Celebrate the first album of the next band bound for greatness!  Gather ‘round, boys.”  Languidly the three band mates rose and took the filled glasses Freddie offered them.  

“To Queen!  To this successful year we bid farewell!  -- and to the magnificence ahead in 1974 – and beyond!!”  Freddie said, his mouth broadening with each word.  “To Queen!” the boys echoed.   Smiles were exchanged as they raised their glasses and sipped in unison.  “This stuff is bloody awful, Fred,” Roger cackled, a look of disgust overtaking him.  The boys’ laughter accompanied the church bells pealing outside the small flat, signaling the arrival of the new year.  

Freddie chuckled thinking of that night so long ago, amazed that it was still as clear as the crystal glasses glistening behind him.  He dropped his head to his chest, and the image vanished.  

Over the years the crowds grew, their creativity blossomed, and fame erupted, the extent of which they couldn’t have imagined.  Though they all worked as a team and each had immense gifts, Freddie stood at the center of their evolution, which seemed limitless.  Each year presented many milestones to toast. Yet, the glory left in its wake an underside that swept him up and spit him out.  But at night on stage, Freddie rose -- a force buoyed by powerful lights above him, screaming crowds before him, the music surrounding him and those boys behind him. The spotlights showcased his immense talent and power to engage the audience, building a crescendo of rapture.  There were two sides, but the boys were always there as the reminder of who he truly was: an innovator, a creator, a collaborator, a musical genius --  and a loving, gentle, generous and witty friend. 

Freddie scanned the room and took in the paintings and unique artifacts he collected during decades of travel. Each had a story; each brought him joy.  Suddenly aware of the evening’s ritual, he glanced at the clock on the fireplace mantle. Any minute now.  And as if prompted by Freddie’s notice, voices reverberated off the brick outside the window as car doors slammed.

Pressing his arms into the firm cushion, Freddie stood carefully, gaining his balance.  He turned his attention to the entry foyer in the distance where Phoebe offered warm greetings and efficiently took coats, knowing this visit was limited as family parties awaited.  Phoebe gestured to the living room, and the boys stepped in, taking in the slight figure bathed in faint firelight before them. 

The fire was now blue-framed blushes of orange poking out from blackening logs.  Freddie stepped forward to tend to it.  “Here, Fred,” Brian said, taking long strides across the expansive room to the fire. “Let me.”  Roger quickly sidled up to the other side of the fireplace and silently removed the screen. Brian repositioned the burning logs to spark the flames and added a new one from the large Chinese porcelain jar painted with orange and blue dragons next to the fireplace. 

Freddie felt John staring at him and suddenly the younger man looked away, blinking. Were the cheekbones so hollow a month ago, he wondered, as the fire cast a shadow in the deep crevice of Freddie’s cheek.  In that moment he knew.  “This is the last one,” John said to himself, feeling tears forming.  Surprised that he allowed this thought, John quickly regained his composure and looked at Freddie.  A shy smile of admiration crept onto his face, and Freddie returned a warm grin.

“Beautiful!” Fred said turning to the fire, now bestowed with new life. If only there could be a comparable easy fix.  He made his way to the back of the room, the boys in tow.  “Gather ‘round, boys,” Freddie encouraged.  Between each pour, he wiped the bottle’s rim with the soft towel Phoebe had draped over the bucket.

“Hasn’t been such a bad year,” Roger said in his sincere, optimistic way.  The other boys nodded, hoping Roger would supply a litany of cheerful highlights to overshadow the glaring contradiction standing in front of them serving champagne. 

“Hey, we got the BRIT Award for Outstanding Contribution to Music.  Finally!  And Innuendo is fantastic!  Should do very well,”  Roger affirmed confidently, as the glasses were passed.

“A toast!” Brian raised his glass.  “To this successful year we bid farewell!”  He looked down, not sure what to add, where to go.  The other three boys joined him comfortably in the silence, for it was wrapped with the joys and sorrows and hopes of decades past, unspoken comfort and their unconditional bond of friendship.

“To fairy tales of yesterday that grow but never die,” (1) John added.  The boys exchanged glances nodding, and clinked their glasses. 

“To carrying on,” Freddie said firmly, breaking the wistfulness.

“To carrying on!” The boys echoed, trying not to sound somber, though they knew that carrying on meant until the end -- and beyond, concepts presently unfathomable.

“Glad you got the good stuff,” Roger said, raising his nose in the air satisfied, as he laughed and held his glass up to the light.  

“I always aim to keep you in the manner to which you’ve become accustomed,” Freddie quipped. They laughed in agreement.  “The manner that you all deserve,” Freddie added.  Freddie’s smile evaporated and he looked down.  “The best.”   Horns and bells sounded outside, along with the cheers from Freddie’s sitting room down the hall.  

The boys finished their drinks and set down their glasses.  They huddled together closely around Freddie.  Strong hands with long, graceful fingers rubbed backs and grazed knuckles.  Loving hands.  Musical hands.  They bent forward in their circle, holding each other just a bit tighter, and their heads touched.

I don't care what comes tomorrow. We can face it together. The way old friends do. (2)

Notes

1.       The Show Must Go On by Queen

2.       The Way Old Friends Do by ABBA

[sleephyjhs]

forget-me-not | pjm

pairing: jimin x original character

genre: angst, ex-lovers AU

summary: breaking his heart the first time around ripped you to shreds, having to do it for the second time was close enough to unbearable. out of everybody he could’ve remembered, it just had to be you.

wc: 2.3k

song rec: miss missing you - fall out boy

m.list

tw: mentions of accidents, hospital setting, amnesia

© by sleepyjhs 2020. all rights reserved

“No, he only wants you. He’s got you on the brain.” The phonecall that kickstarted your Sunday morning was nothing short of overwhelming. Even your sounding alarm would have been a more welcoming alert to waken to, “You have to come and see him.”

Exhaling down the phone, you raked your fingers through your knotted bed hair and sank back into your warmed pillows, “Why do you need me? We haven’t spoken in months, it’s just unnecessary.”

His name lived constantly in your mind; it hadn’t left since the night he did. The time that had passed between the breakup and that Sunday morning was time you could’ve spent wondering about something other than what you did so wrong to come back to his tapes boxes and stuffed suitcases. Reuniting with Jimin after so long was a can of worms you were unprepared to pry open.

“Haewon, he doesn’t know who the fuck any of us are. Do you really think if he knew who we were he’d be asking for you?” It was relieving to see that time hadn’t shrunk his ego. Initially, there were many things you came to miss about Jimin but his friendship group could never have been one of them. With conceit as strong as theirs, their related influence on Jimin was never noticeable; that much you appreciated.

Still, the draining compulsion to punch them returned to you as strong as ever, “What ward is he in?”

“R6, south wing. Hurry up, the nurses can’t get anything out of him, you’re the only hope we’ve got.” As Jimin’s friend hung up the phone, remains of guilt and anger drowned you. Everything that you’d thought you’d managed to suppress was now swallowing you whole; the guilt of knowing you did something to make him up and leave, and the anger of never knowing what it could’ve been.

The process of making yourself look somewhat presentable took even more effort than usual; the unusual circumstances you’d awoken into needed to render before you could even begin to believe what had happened. Considering the rush of a city in the early morning, you skipped the makeup routine and accepted the mean comments that were bound to be hurled at you. Last night’s jeans and tee would have to do; it wasn’t as though you had anyone to impress anyway.

Even the radio was unable to draw your thoughts away from Jimin. Receiving a call from Jimin’s best friend could only mean trouble, and you wanted none of the mess that had been created overnight. It had been mere weeks since you gave your peace on the end of your relationship, yet here you were, willingly ripping open the stitches that now bound your heart together.

Maybe you appeared strange in the elevator - flushing all shades of pink - but you couldn’t seem to help it. Not only was your situation unprecedented, but you had no idea what sight you’d be greeted with. Jimin’s friend wouldn’t let up how bad the accident was, and despite the pain he’d given you, never could you wish for him to receive it back.

R6, south wing; it was further away than you’d remembered. It was always strikingly obvious that you’d wandered away from the commotion of a hospital when the bustling visitors exchanged with surgeons and nurses, coated in their same minty scrubs. The lack of casual clothing in the corridors haunted you; it only seemed as though you were edging further from civilisation with each step.

Buzzing the security intercom increased the building pressure in your lungs. As you cleansed your hands with provided gel, any predictions of what might be waiting for you behind the doors suddenly evacuated. Although he may have, your attachment to Jimin has never truly abandoned you; once upon a time, he was your best friend.

Ambulating down the sapphire linoleum, you counted the enclosures of hospital beds. Fourth from the right was your intended destination. One; empty. The landscape of empty beds inside was almost as depressing as a full room. Two; full. Silence fell upon 4 conscious patients who all stared into the same space. Three; weeping family. Expecting anything less from a trauma unit would have been foolish even for you, but the extremes of human emotion were perhaps all too much for a Sunday morning.

And then, you came to four. Through the moderately open shutters, you stole the first glimpse of Jimin you’d had in months. Your view was blocked by his crowded friends; the worst of it was approaching.

“Excuse me?” A voice from behind introduced. Startled, you turned to meet conversation, not expecting to be greeted by a nurse, “Are you Ms. Haewon?”

You nodded politely, remaining unsure what to expect. The nurse returned her eyes to the clipboard she cradled and shrewdly, you copied, “Thank you for coming at such short notice, you seem to be the only person he can name.”

“What happened? To him, I mean.”

“A car accident. He’s lucky to say the least. I’m glad I caught you before you entered.” Her abrupt statements couldn’t calm your ever-trembling hands; coming here was surely a mistake, ”I’m sure you’ve gathered that what you’re about to walk into isn’t going to be easy. Whatever he says to you is his own version of reality, no matter how far from the truth it really is. I’d like to advise you against correcting him for the time being, it’s better for the recovery process if he is allowed time to adjust.”

You flattened your lips, finally coming to realise how serious Jimin’s accident actually had been. Being left to only remember your time together must’ve been more pain than he knew, but he didn’t.

After thanking the nurse, you brushed your hands on your jeans to dry the accumulated sweat on your palms and exhaled breath you didn’t know you were holding. Not a single word of preparation scrolled through your mind as you turned the corner into the room.

All eyes fell upon you, including Jimin’s. Arrangements of purple and mouldy yellow bloomed from his brow to jaw, following a delicate manoeuvre down his cheek. Clear tubes were strung from the back of his hand to several bags of various liquids. To say the resemblance to a marionette doll was uncanny would have been an understatement, “Haewon!”

Conjuring the equal amount of enthusiasm to see Jimin pointlessly unachievable. Even seeing your worst enemy in such a bad state wouldn’t have changed the torment struggling inside your mind.

Softening your eyes, you fixed upon his sable eyes and released a gentle smile, “Hi, Jimin.”

The simple greeting was all you could muster. It was pathetic, but it would have to do. By the window, one of Jimin’s friends pulled faces to his own reflection. Usually distracted by small aggravations, all of your attention remained devoted to Jimin. You were here for him, no one else.

“I managed to end up in hospital. Do you know why?” The tails of his eyebrows sunk into his temples. Dancing around topics in fear of confusing him more was risky. Following his own lead in conversation was the only way to avoid slipping up; all you could hope is that what you were doing was the best for him.

The rolling eyes of his cornered friend enraged you. Assuming he would have any feelings of compassion was ridiculous, “I know.” You places your bag gently on the floor and perched on one of the plastic meeting chairs beside the bed, “Do you know why..?”

Before your question had finished, the monotonous shaking of his head swung against his pillow, “There’s strange people here, they won’t go away.”

At the sound of his words, Jimin’s friend turned away from the window to watch his injured friend. You hated him with your whole being, but watching him be shut out by Jimin was unfair. Of course, there was nothing that could be helped, but an overhanging guilt began to overshadow you, “They’re here to help you, Jimin. You were in a car accident, and you can’t get better by yourself. They’ll help you as much as they can.”

Soft smiles were all you could offer for comfort. Embracing him in any kind of way was sure enough to damage him further. Porcelain would have appeared stronger than Jimin; another crack in his dainty exterior guaranteed him to shatter.

Fiddling with your fingernails allowed you to witness Jimin’s hand creep down the bed. The transparent tubes stretched to follow his roaming digits; his palm blossomed and tiny cuts, most likely made by broken glass, scattered over his calluses. Holding his hand was not a task you had signed up for, but then, Jimin never asked to remember you.

Slipping your hand against Jimin’s was strange to say the least. His familiar warmth was once soothing, now it was more like an icy slate. Whatever you could do to help him recover, you would; you’d assured yourself that much.

“Am I going to be alright?” Jimin whimpered, caressing your thumb with his. Immense pity was simply inevitable. How badly damaged was he? So much so, Jimin wasn’t sure if he was even going to make it.

“Of course you are.” You resumed your amiable smile, knowing very well you may have just lied to him. Considering the state you found him in, surely it wasn’t certain?

As Jimin groaned while he hesitantly adjusted himself, the same nurse from earlier returned to the room. She pushed a small cart equipped with medical appliances, bandages and capsules of all different colours, “I need to change Jimin’s drips. For sanitary reasons, you both need to wait outside.”

Your eyes met with those of Jimin’s friend, and you led the walk outside of the room. The door closed behind you, and the awkward silence began. Even when your relationship with Jimin was active, you’d never found much in comin with his friends. In fact, the more you came to understand Jimin, you couldn’t understand what attracted him to them either.

Before you’d gotten the chance, the man sat in the only seat outside of the room. Chivalry was no expectation when it came to Jimin’s acquaintances. As expected, nothing much had changed.

Even when deep in silence, you couldn’t bring yourself to dawdle on your phone. Nail-biting was the only appropriate way to pass time as well as take out your pent up anxieties. He looked up from behind his screen, and thrusted it deep into his jacket pocket, eyeing you from head to toe with a grimaced face. You shared his sentiments.

“It’s better he forgets you. You never bother with him, what an unfortunate coincidence he only remembers you.” His breath exalted ignorance. You were here for Jimin, not to argue over the past.

But still, it was too much bait to simply avoid, “What do you mean I never bother with him? Conversations work two ways; if he wanted me to check up on him, he’d check up on me too.”

“He’s been a mess since you stopped dating. You were the best thing that ever happened to him.”

His confession was perhaps the most sincerity you thought possible to get out of him, yet that wouldn’t fog your version of events, “That’s his own fault. I never wanted us to end.”

He scoffed, smirking as he shook his head, “There’s no compassion with you, is there?”

“Your best friend could have died, and you’re still taking jabs at me. I didn’t have to come but I did. Instead of being concerned for Jimin’s wellbeing, I reckon you asked me here just to make your points.” His sly smirk soon faded into his flushing cheeks.

Perhaps it was true that if he knew any better, Jimin wouldn’t want you there. But he didn’t know any better, at least not now. How you were supposed to help, you were unsure of. Were you even prepared to be present when he realised? Realising your beloved was no longer yours must hurt more for the second time, there could be no doubt about it.

“Visit hours are over in five minutes. Go, and don’t come back. At least for a while. At least give him a chance to remember someone other than you. I only asked you here to lessen the blow anyway.”

For someone who should no longer concern you, the motion of avoiding Jimin was strangely painful. He was vulnerable, anybody could see that. Abandoning him as the only person he could openly recognise felt immoral, disgusting almost. But what authority did you have?

The nurse soon allowed you back into the room for the final goodbye before the cue to leave. Jimin beamed as you timidly approached the plastic chair beside him. It must’ve stung him to smile with such cheer. It was a lie. His happiness was a lie. Soon, he’d know the truth.

“I’m going to have to leave soon. I’m sorry I can’t stay longer.” Although your romance wasn’t, your remorse was real. The pity you empathised from being stuck with his ignorant friend was also very much real.

“You’ll come back for me, right?”

So much you were yet to decide. A sleepless night dwelling upon the events of the day was due, “Of course I will.”

With all your endurance, you avoided the eyes of his lingering friend. He was better off invisible for now, “You promise to keep well, Jimin. We’ll get through this together.”

Sending Jimin your last smile of the day, he reflected your sentiments and watched you approached the door, “Haewon?” You turned around with a raised eyebrow, “I love you.”

And there it was. The dreaded three words that held no meaning to you, at least not from him. Did they even hold any meaning to him? You were the only person he recognised; if there was only one person you knew, you’d feel compelled to live them at some point.

“I know you do.”

[moved-attre]

Here is my review of Cyberpunk 2077! It is a bullet point list of what I liked, and did not like about the game. I mean no offense in my writing, and am, of course, willing to be educated if I am wrong about anything! But please do not send me anonymous hate. I know many fans and haters of this game can be very, uh... So take it all with a grain of salt, and form your own opinions.

This is very long and likely boring so if you manage to make it to the end, I will be very impressed! Also, I may ramble or repeat myself, sorry. There’s more bad points than good, since the game is very glitchy and I couldn’t not mention the glitches I have experienced.

Obviously, this contains major spoilers! 👁👄👁

I’ll start off by saying, this is a game where you will likely not get what you expected. If you expected Cyberpunk 2077 to be a game filled with features that were never before seen, to revolutionise the gaming industry as we know it and become the most iconic video game ever made... You will not get that. If you expected it to be the worst, most irredeemable video game ever created that you’ll hate... You will not get that, either. If you expected a game that is a fairly standard RPG with some impressive graphics when played on a high spec PC, albeit with some bad glitches and a wonky story with lots of potential, then you’ve got it!

Pros:

The majority of the voice acting, such as in V, Johnny and Viktor, was very good and emotional. Viktor in particular made me tear up! And the way V manages to sound almost like Johnny with the subtle accent change was amazing!

The character’s such as Takemura, Jackie, the LIs, Johnny, Viktor, Misty (I could go on) and even many random NPCs were interesting! I wanted to know them and loved their relevant missions. The best ones were unromanceable, of course, but that’s what imagination is for.

THE ALDECALDOS! I love them! A found family, and I wish there was more to do with them other than Panam’s missions and a few side missions. I love found family, and I’m disappointed V couldn’t form their own, so I’ll take what I can get and love the Aldecaldos, even if V can’t join them until the very end. Panam had the best missions of all the LI’s, even if the last one felt very abrupt. (At least, on her friendship route.)

Night City felt alive. There was always plenty going on, it felt like a real city, and it could be beautiful.

Jackie and Corpo V’s friendship was lovely. I loved their “To this!” inside joke, and I loved how Jackie roasted V but would jump to their defence in a second. It didn’t feel forced at all.

There’s lots of environmental storytelling. The atmosphere of a city choking to death under it’s own pollution/corruption was very apparent in the areas not lived in by the rich. Lots of homeless characters, violence, drugs, absolute poverty, trash (The dump! I felt sick just looking at it, and I couldn’t even smell it! Poor V, though.) and general apathy from a lot of the residents really sold the concept.

Johnny and V’s dynamic was the best part of the story! I hated him at first, but slowly came to enjoy his commentary and advice. His interactions with V were very funny at times, and thoughtful at other times. He was an interesting perspective for the player to consider, while still being an asshole you could dislike for much of the story. He has some really emotional scenes and I played a V that viewed him as a friend, so it was really nice hearing him call V the closest person he’d ever had. They became so devoted to each other! CDPR did good with this element, but I can’t help wishing for more. The dynamic had so much more to give, and a romance/happy ending could have worked.

And to add on, the mission where Johnny takes over V’s body to go on a bender was great! I loved all the moments to play as Johnny in V’s body. All the symbolism between them was so good. Every mission matters, and you can replay to look closer at details! He also comments on other side missions with no personal relevance to him, which was neat.

All the enemies had unique names. A minor detail, but it made me feel some guilt over killing them. 🤣 I think all character’s had unique names, which is such a nice detail.

The soundtrack was incredible, I loved every original piece and radio song. I have several saved on Spotify, which is big praise coming from me! I very rarely listen to video game soundtracks.

V can adopt a cat! 🐈‍⬛ It was adorable, and Johnny’s interaction with it made me tear up!

The size of the map was good, not too big or too small. I got about 100 hours of play in by exploring, which is pretty good to me! I got lost a few times, but always found something interesting to do in the meanwhile. I loved the Badlands especially. 

Some of the side missions, particularly the more mysterious ones involving investigating deaths and the cyberpsychos, were very enjoyable! I’m a big slut for mystery, and there were some interesting cases to figure out. I wish we could’ve done missions like that with River, though, especially once he becomes a PI.

I was complaining about the lack of aliens in CP2077, but I suppose we did get a couple space themed missions which was pretty fun. I still want to go experience going into orbit, though. 👽 Or the moon!

Separating voice and body in the CC was a good idea, even if it was handled a little strangely. I’ll talk about this more in the ‘Cons’ section below!

Act 2 was my favorite part of the game, but it blended weirdly with Act 3 and that put me off. I am nostalgic for Act 1, but not eager to replay it because it felt so slow... I’m not sure on this point! I liked Act 2 because the story picked up and I was excited for more, but the more I got wasn’t as I expected. So, yes, Act 2 was good.

The scenery is very beautiful, and sometimes the outside lighting is absolutely perfect. The Arasaka parade mission was lovely to look at. I always stop the car and watch the sunrise/sunset, and I like going out to the Badlands to look at the stars!

An addition to that, is the lighting in some main quest missions. Very noir! It made for some beautiful screenshots. (Of which I sadly can’t share because my game doesn’t record well on medium settings. 😳)

The motorcycles are fun to drive! Mainly because I can zoom in between cars and Jackie’s motorcycle has a lot of sentimental value, as well as other vehicles like Johnny’s Porsche and Jake’s car. You can open the trunk to dump bodies in, which was a cool detail., and each one drives differently!

There could be amazing attention to detail, such as making Jackie look like his mother. I expected his mother to be a randomly generated NPC, but she was completely unique. It’s the minor things like that which stood out to me the most.

The scanner was a fun tool and very useful! I liked being able to find alternative ways to do a mission, it felt more realistic than the standard “massacre everybody, pick up an item and get out” fetch quests normally seen in RPGs. I could sneak in a tunnel or a side door! Perhaps irritating and unnecessary to some, but I liked it. I love utilising every possible option.

The interface color changes if you have Johnny controlling V’s body. Another small but good detail! The game is good with the minor details.

The sex scenes were not... awful. I expected much, much worse! I expected fully animated first person porn. Instead, I thought they were fairly realistic and intended to be romantic. Still very awkward, though, and unnecessary.

When they didn’t glitch, the animations were very good. Not as impressive as I hoped, probably because of glitches, but in line with other AAA games like Horizon Zero Dawn, I suppose? I noticed Judy’s animations in particular as being good, and Johnny had lots of unique ones too!

The clothing options are very fun, I like the holographic items and “Bitch” clothes, hehe. Also including Hijabs! 🧕 Great idea, and more games should do that.

The diversity of the NPCs was welcome. I enjoyed seeing Native American, Asian, Black and Latinx NPCs who weren’t there just to suffer! They would occupy important roles in the story, such as Fixers or friends/romance options for V, so they were pretty much unavoidable! It felt very natural, and they helped Night City feel more realistic.

Adding to that, the different cultures included were interesting too! I liked the Haitian characters in Pacifica.

The photo mode is pretty good. Not as good as I expected, the camera angle presets were useful but the filters weren’t very good. I liked that the photo mode could be used in cutscenes, though! It was standard, and I hope more bits will be added in for it.

A lot of the glitches are hilarious, but I recognise not all will share that opinion so I’m just adding this down here. The T-Posing NPCs are a highlight for me. Call that the Skyrim effect.

Cons:

No NB gender options/No pronoun options. Would they/them have been so difficult to implement?

No body or height sliders. There’s so many fat character’s in the game! Why can I not make my V fat? Or muscular?

Gender restrictive hairstyles and clothes. Come on, guys, it’s 2020/2077! Aren’t we beyond gender restrictive appearance options?

No tattoo parlours, no plastic surgeons and no hairstylists for V to change their appearance. I don’t understand why a CC was included at all, since we spent the majority of the game in first person. It reminded me of Far Cry.

The main story started off strong, albeit slow, picked up in Act 2, then felt very rushed in Act 3. The point of no return was very abrupt! 

The celebrity cameos felt very gimmicky. The one exception to this is Keanu Reeves, who did a very good job as Johnny. Genuinely brought tears to my eyes at times... but Grimes was just embarrassing! Why was she there! A talented VA could have done Lizzy Wizzy much better, giving her actual emotions instead of just monotone “boredom”.

I don’t know what the point of owning apartments is. You can only sleep in V’s bed, what is the point of looking in the mirror? V has no use for their terminal in their apartment, they never get any messages after the first time they meet Johnny. It was so unnecessary, especially when there’s several across the map. I can access the stash of weapons and clothes from my car! Why would I ever need to go home? Judy gives me her apartment and I’m like, girl, I’m never visiting unless you have a mission to give me.

Also, there are no penalties for not showering or sleeping. I wanted character’s to comment on that! Call me stinky or tell me I look exhausted!

V doing side missions makes no sense, and no explanation is given for why we can do them. Why would V, who is dying and has precious few days left to live, be driving for hours on end to deliver packages and shoot random criminals? When they could be figuring out how to survive the biochip! Who the hell would care about a some extra money or buying every available car for sale, when they’re dying of something that could be preventable?

Some side missions were either very poorly done or obviously majorly glitched, since it felt like they skipped important parts and I was often very confused at the end of them! For example, the Corpo V side mission was so short! I expected to be able to hunt down Abernathy and get revenge for V and Jenkins, but instead, I shoot some random assistant I don’t even remember? And that’s it? Done in 2 minutes! If that! What is the point of that? I didn’t even have fun! Also, what happened to Garry? I wanted to save him but V just never follows up on it.

And, I wish we got closure with T-Bug. The fact that V never bothers to find her body and give her a proper burial was just poor form. 

The endings were not... good. There are technically 6 different endings, all wrapped up into 3 parts. In my opinion, the best ending is the one where V kills themselves and has a very “Arthur Morgan watching his last sunset” vibe. It made me cry. Another good ending is having Johnny take over V’s body forever, as you can really see how much Johnny has changed as a person thanks to V’s influence. But they still felt very... eh and the story just never got that boost it needed, ending before it could take off. In the “best” ending, the Nomand ending with Panam, V ”survives” but has only another few months to live. So they die off screen. Satisfying? Uh, no. Not at all. There’s no possible ending where V has any hope of survival, but I much preferred being there with V until the very end. I disagree with the people calling Johnny’s ending the “bad” ending, because it really isn’t! I ignore all of this of course, and my V is living happily ever after.

I kind of hate that CP2077 has this illusion of options when some are clearly intended to be chosen more than others. Judy and Panam have the best endings in term of romance. Why bother with River and Kerry? Kerry is more of a fling than an actual romance, and is met very late in the game at a point where you can ignore him completely and just end the game, and River’s romance is so glitched that many people can’t even do it fully, and in every ending he dumps you, so it feels like none of it mattered to him despite him being the most “domestic” of the possible LI’s...

Takemura’s ending! He died in my playthrough, because the game didn’t tell me I could save him. That really annoyed me. Also, I recognise that V is in no place to lecture him, and there is some wisdom to his quote: “You speak against corporations yet offer no valid alternative.” But, Goro, bro... anything is better than fascist mega corporations keeping most of the city in absolute poverty, while waging devastating wars against other mega corporations? I wish we could have opened his eyes a little. There’s a good, even ground between Takemura believing Corps to be doing the best for humanity and Johnny being willing to kill 12k people for a revolution. This game went a little “capitalism is bad, but the alternative is worse!” at times, in my opinion. I wish more could have been done against the corporations, instead they just kind of... exist... in the background. And I know, “Realism! “ because we live with massive corporations like Amazon in our lives and can do fuck all about them but we’re not V. V is an absolute unit who survives death multiple times... I wish there had been two paths, like do Johnny’s path and work against the system or do Takemura’s path and work with the system? Sort of like The Witcher 2?

You know how in Saints Row, The Boss has homies they can call on for help? I wanted V to have homies to help them out in fights. It felt pointless building trust with the Fixers only to not have them help out at all with fights against the NCPD/Militech/Arasaka in their territories. 

The stealth mechanics are not good. They are funny! But not very good. Often, It’s better to just attack and save yourself the trouble of sneaking only to get caught by a guard who can see through the back of his head.

The fact that you cannot get arrested and have someone bust you out of jail. Maybe RDR2 set my expectations too high, but I thought this would have been included.

I’ve read about the cut content, and I’m really disappointed they weren’t included in the game. Wall running would have been amazing! And the police hiring mercs to hunt V down? I would have loved to see it! 😔

Driving cars is terrible. Just awful. Sometimes, you crash. Other times you’re flung up into the air and break through the sky into the void, spinning for all eternity.

River’s glitched romance deserves a special mention. The relationship just drops off suddenly and you cannot interact with him properly again. It does not affect the main story at all, so you wonder, what was the point? The text messages also glitch and V will sent messages that you can’t control, leading to disappointing dialogue, like with Joss.

The romances in general were just not all that impressive. I was expecting something great, considering there was only 4 and thought they’d really affect the main story, but I’d only recommend Panam and Judy. I would have played the game just as well without romances, and they felt very unnecessary but I wanted to do one to get the most possible story content. I think we should all leave romances in RPG’s as the exception, not the norm. Some studio’s can do them well, other’s cannot. CDPR cannot, in my opinion...

Obviously the many glitches and bugs, several of which are game breaking. I usually have to reload a save at least once an hour, because an NPC won’t talk to me or I can’t move the mouse to select different dialogue options! Or my gun won’t equip, so I die.

The AI in general is very bad. Sometimes cars will stop in the middle of junctions for no reason, causing you to crash or mount the sidewalk to get past, meaning you’ll likely run someone down and get a police warrant. NPCs just walk from one end of the road and back again, over and over on a loop. It’s very creepy!

The lighting, mostly inside buildings. Everything is pitch black! Why does V not own a flashlight? The amount of enemies I’ve barrelled into and alerted because I couldn’t see is too much.

The lack of dialogue choice, it was less interactive than what I’d been told to expect. There was only two or three options, with one only ever rarely being unique to one of V’s three possible background choices and most will yield the same results with a few exceptions, like avoiding combat.

V’s personality is already decided by the game, and is not really customisable. Do not expect full control over your V’s personality, as they are very much a canon character and exist outside of your (limited) choices. I didn’t expect Baldur's Gate 3 levels of customisation, but I did expect something more like Dragon Age 2’s dialogue wheel? Nice, Sarcasm and Angry? You know?

Obviously, the seizure inducing scenes were very dangerous. I get a headache whenever I have to do a braindance, and I wish it was skippable!

Accessibility as a whole is very much an afterthought in this game, I think. The subtitles are in “speaking English”, so instead of: Hey, how are you? It’s: Heyyy, how’re ya? It is often difficult to understand, and sometimes I just couldn’t work out what was being said.

It’s nitpicky but I wanted to do a pacifist route and I realised you can’t, you need to kill certain character’s... 

The main “villains” such as Yorinobu and Adam Smasher were very forgettable, and V had no personal stake in taking them out. I honestly forgot all about them. Takemura was talking about revenge and I’m like, who? Who are you talking about? Why are we kidnapping Hanako Arasaka, again? Johnny, why would I bother killing Adam Smasher? If they’d personally murdered Jackie, then yeah, I’d understand! But all V needs is to remove the chip and I don’t know... I just didn’t feel anything.

So, to summarise: I think CDPR were out of their depth. The long, very long, troubled development process was an indication of this before the game was even released, and the story I’ve experienced in the game is proof enough. I don’t think they knew what they wanted from this game, and as a result, we have a game that is honestly very confusing and frustrating with a story that always got close to gripping, but never quite makes it. All in all, I found this game to be pretty average. When the bugs are ironed out, I will think better of it. But as it stands, if I had to score it, I would give it a 6.5/10 or maybe 7/10. Good concept, somewhat misguided execution. The best part of the game was the Johnny/V dynamic, but I wasn’t satisfied with how it ended. They needed more time together! Anyway, it will be interesting to see what happens next. 

[taeken-my-heart]

Moirai Chapter 8

Summary: On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Soulmates au/ Enemies to lovers au. Angst, fluff, bickering, romance, eventual smut.

Word Count: 4790

Notes: There is a read more placed after the first paragraph, but we all know tumblr is weird so if it doesn’t show up I’m sorry :(

This chapter is a big one in terms of what happens, but the next one is even bigger. This is a very brief reprieve from big angst so enjoy it while it’s here, my loves. 

**

“No, see, you can’t put a comma here because that would be a comma splice.” Jungkook said, taping the delete button on your computer and you frowned.

“I’ve never even heard the term comma splice; I think you’re making it up.”

Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head and turning to look at you, “just because you weren’t paying attention in class doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. A comma splice is when you take a comma and try to use it to connect two independent clauses. It happens often when people are trying to write something in their tone of voice and they put commas where they naturally pause, but that’s not always the right place for a comma.”

“The only Claus I know is Santa.” You deadpanned and Jungkook laughed; exhausted.

“Y/N!” He smiled and you shrugged up at him, lips peeling upwards into a grin.

“Unfortunately, I’m dead serious. I told you I’m not good at English!”

“Well you could be better if you just listened in class.” He scolded, scooting further up in his seat and you scowled, “don’t give me that look, I’ve seen you in class. You doodle a lot or read the posters around the room. You’re never actually paying attention.”

“Ah!” You clutched at your heart dramatically, “I’ve been caught!”

Jungkook laughed, leaning over to pull a notebook from his bag and you watched him curiously, the muscles in his back tightening as he dug through. “So,” you murmured as he sat back up, flipping open his notebook and glancing at you, “did you ever ask Ella out?”

He looked up at you in surprise, clearing his throat. “Ah, no, I,” he rubbed awkwardly at his wrist underneath the fabric of his sweater, “it didn’t feel right…right now. Timing, I guess.”

You frowned, shifting in your seat to face him, English assignment forgotten. “She knows you like her though, right?”

He blushed, ducking his head further into his chest, flipping to a fresh page in his book, ready to take notes. “Ah, yeah, she does.”

“So, I don’t get it, what’s the hold up?”

“It’s just…it’s complicated. Don’t try to distract me, missy, you still have to finish this assignment and I’ve only got 30 minutes left to help you, so less chatting and more working!” He scolded, glaring over at you and you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Sure, sure.”

Once Jungkook had left for the night, you saved your assignment and left the office, heading up the stairs towards Ella’s room. She was leaning against her bed, headphones slid over her ears playing Snow Patrol loud enough that even you could hear the words and for a moment you felt concerned for the health of her ears.

You ventured into the room and she looked up at you from the homework in her lap, smiling and pushing her headphones off. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Mind if I join you for a minute?” You asked, fingers still on the doorknob and she nodded, patting the carpet beside her.

You made your way towards her, flopping down beside her as she turned off her music. “What brings you to my bedroom floor?” She teased and you smiled.

“I was just wondering what’s going on with you and Jungkook?” You shrugged and she smiled, lopsided and goofy.

“Oh, I mean nothing much,” she admitted, bashful, “he admitted that he likes me, but said he feels a little weird now that he’s got his soulmate tattoo. What a romantic, right?”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “He’s so dramatic.”

“Right?” She laughed, “Anyway, I told him we can just be friends for now, but I think once the tattoo settles and stops hurting, he’ll kind of forget about it and we can date. It’s not like he even knows her.”

You nod, picking at the carpet. “True. Plus, the whole soulmate thing is stupid. The universe dictates one person to make you happy forever? What a load.”

“I don’t know,” Ella smiles, “I believe it. That doesn’t mean I don’t also believe someone else can make you happy in the meantime, until you find your soulmate.”

“That’s awful, though. Then you’re just a place holder. Wouldn’t you hate that? You know Jungkook is a romantic, he’s said he definitely wants to be with his soulmate when he meets her so then where does that leave you?”

Ella pouted, drumming her fingers on her book. “I know, but it would be fun while it lasted.”

“Trust me, the pain isn’t worth it.” You smiled tight, mind flashing to Lucas. Time was like a balm and it had already been two weeks since you and Lucas had broken up. Why you and your sister hadn’t talked about this earlier was beyond you and you began to realize that Jungkook was probably right, the two of you didn’t talk enough.

Ella frowned, grabbing hold of your hand. “I’m sorry about Lucas. You’re right, the pain probably isn’t worth it, but I just really like him!”

“I know you do,” you nodded, sighing and leaning your head back against her bed, “When did Jungkook tell you he liked you? Two weeks ago?”

“Well, that’s when he admitted out loud that he liked me, but he’s been hinting at it for a while. I think I started noticing at the beginning of the school year, he was just paying me more attention, talking to me more. When we started hanging out, he started confiding in me. Did you know he broke up with Rachel the night of his birthday party?”

“Oh?” You hummed in surprise, lifting your head from her blanket, “I didn’t know that, actually.”

“Yeah, I don’t think a lot of people knew because Rachel’s whole family was out of town for like a month after and he didn’t really talk about it. After they broke up, Jungkook came over and asked if we could talk on the porch. It was just before 11 so the rest of you were already in bed, I think. I snuck outside and we talked for a while and he told me all about it. She’s kind of horrible, said all sorts of mean things to him.”

“Really? Like what?”

Ella sighed, pushing her books off her lap and folding her legs underneath her body. “Told him he was boring and stupid, that kind of stuff, but then she started dissing his family, too. I don’t think she’s ever been broken up with so she just kind of lost it. Insulted his dad’s broken English, which is just such a low blow. Uncle Jinhyun has worked really hard and he speaks more languages than her crusty ass!”

You chuckled and she smiled softly, shrugging. “Anyway, he was pretty upset about that so we talked about it and he held my hand and told me how I was smart and pretty and any guy would be lucky to have me and then he kissed me on the cheek and went home. I kind of knew then that he was interested in more than friendship, but he’d just broken up with Rachel so he needed time to get over that, you know? Plus, then he got his soulmate tattoo like half an hour later so I think it was just a lot.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged, “but, to be fair, he wasn’t devoted to Rachel or anything. He told me a little while ago that she was kind of a rebound so he probably wasn’t too upset about the breakup. Especially since he’s the one that did it.” “That’s true,” Ella admitted, dropping her pencil into her lap and stretching her fingers absentmindedly. “His feelings were hurt, though. By everything she said, I mean. I feel really bad for him. Don’t tell him I said anything, but I think getting his soulmate tattoo kind of scared him.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Just,” she paused, attempting to gather her thoughts. “His whole life he’s hearing about soulmates and about how his parents are so happy and he wants that too, right? Then he gets his tattoo and it’s just shocking, it’s probably nothing like you expect, you know? And then you’re faced with the reality; a real person’s name on your wrist and sometime during your life you’re gonna meet them and that’s it forever. Kind of scary, I guess.”

“Didn’t know Jeon Jungkook could scare.” You teased and Ella smiled softly at you.

“Everyone scares sometimes, even Jungkook.”

You stared down at the ground, fingers twisting together in your lap. “Yeah, I guess.” You sighed, standing up and stretching your legs. “I’m gonna head to my room now. Maybe read a book before bed or something.”

“Adventurous.” Ella teased, winking at you. You smiled, nodding and walking from her room, closing the door just as she slipped her head phones back over her ears.

**

Sometimes your life was like the movies. Not in the fun ways, though. No mysterious, sexy, and broody stranger to whisk you away on his motorcycle while the screen faded to black. No, more like you played the tambourine in music class because you were musically challenged and Mr. Sabisco didn’t want a repeat of last year’s Christmas concert.

You didn’t blame him, honestly.

It wasn’t all bad, either. You got to mostly sit in the back and slap the tambourine against your hand to a 4-count rhythm so no harm no foul. You spent most of the class day dreaming and letting muscle memory take over. There was only one week left until your birthday and you were becoming more anxious at the thought. Your mom desperately wanted to throw you a soulmate party and stay up until midnight to watch the name appear, but honestly, you’d never heard something more unappealing in your life. 

If you were forced to have some rando’s name on your wrist, you at least wanted to have the moment be a private one. It wasn’t really a celebration for you, though you couldn’t lie to yourself…you were at least a little curious. Everyone you knew who was with their soulmate was happy. 

It was hard to imagine just getting together with a person whose name matched the tattoo on your body and being happy…but you supposed the odds were in your favor, considering the rest of the world seemed to be doing just fine. Still, you didn’t particularly like it. 

The song ended and you let the tambourine rest in your lap, Mr. Sabisco prattling on about the details of the upcoming holiday concert. It was going to be even bigger than last year, with all the music classes from every grade level performing the same songs together as well as the students he private tutored having a song of their own. 

You could see Moira Smith in the front row puff out her chest with pride at the mention of her name as the grand finale with the choir to back her up and you wanted to roll your eyes. She was a snob about her singing and not one single person cared.

After class you made your way towards lunch, meeting up with Noelle in the hallway at her locker. Lillian’s class was on the other side of the building so the three of you would just meet up in the lunch line. “Just a few more days until your birthday.” Noelle commented, slamming her locker closed and popping her gum.

You flinched and glared at her. “How do you always get away with chewing gum in class?”

“I’m really good at hiding it under my tongue.” She shrugged. “You sure you don’t want to have a party? It doesn’t need to be a soulmate party like your mom wants, I get it, it freaks you out. But don’t you want to just have a regular party with your friends.”

“Wow, party of three, sounds fun.” You scoffed and Noelle smacked your arm, pushing the doors to the lunch room open and you followed her over to the line. Lillian was already a few people ahead of you and she smiled and waved before turning forward again.

“Don’t be rude. It’s always just the three of us and you’ve never had trouble having fun before.”

“I know, I know.” You sighed, grabbing an aging blue, grey tray and stepping forward in the line. “This one just feels different. There’s a lot of pressure and I just kind of want to be left alone.”

“I mean, I don’t really get it, but I respect it. If that’s what you want to do, then that’s what you should do. It’s your birthday so you should have things the way you like them.”

“Thanks, Noelle.” You smiled. Lifting your tray so the lunch lady could give you your pick of lunch for the day.

After the two of you had met Lillian at your usual table, you mostly sat and ate quietly while your two friends chatted about whatever had happened in their last class. You scanned the room, taking note of the fact that Ella was sitting with Jungkook and his friends while Rachel had moved a few tables away with her own friends, scowl drawn across her features. 

You felt a little bad for her, it wasn’t really her fault that she’d mostly been a rebound. Sure, she was witchy and a little bit of a ditz, but it must have hurt her to watch her ex-boyfriend move on so quickly. Not that Jungkook and Ella were even dating, but to Rachel, you imagine even sitting with another girl was in the same sphere. 

You knew what it felt like to lose someone you cared about to someone else and it sucked. You wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone.

**

A few days later, after depositing your bag in your room and making your way to the kitchen for an afternoon snack, your mother stopped you in the hallway, clasping an earring in one ear, head tilted as she looked at you.

“You have tutoring with Jungkook soon, right?” At your nod, she continued, “Will you take this over to him, it’s something I’ve been meaning to give to his mother. Also, remind him they’re coming over for dinner. His parents will be coming here straight from the office so I don’t want him to forget and be alone.”

“Ay ay, Captain.” You nodded, taking the small bag your mother handed you and skipping down the stairs. You didn’t want to eat anything too heavy because you would be having dinner in a few hours anyway, but a sandwich couldn’t hurt in keeping the hunger pangs away for a little bit.

You made yourself a quick sandwich before making your way to the office to grab the stuff you’d left there from the day before and out the door into the late afternoon, coat bundled tight around you as you made the two-minute walk to Jungkook’s house.

He greeted you at the door in a grey on grey sweat pant combo, hair swept back from his forehead and looking more handsome than should ever be allowed. You swallowed a bite of sandwich, way too large to do so comfortably and you coughed, beating your chest as it burned its way down your esophagus. 

“You ok there?” Jungkook asked, eyebrow rising as he watched you struggle your way through a task as blindingly simple as chewing your food.

“Fine.” You rasped, throat constricting painfully around air and you waved him in, following after him into the house and closing the door behind yourself. 

“Did you do what I told you to last time?” He questioned, making his way into the living room where he’d set up a make shift office with a foldable table and his laptop. 

You reached into your folder, pulling out the paper you’d printed last night and sat next to Jungkook as he flopped on the couch, scanning the paper quietly while you waited. As much as you hated to admit it, his help in English had been invaluable. Not only were you passing the class, but you were actually doing really well and you had him to thank for it. 

“This is really good,” he said after a while, sitting up straighter and placing the paper on the table next to his laptop, “I’ve got just a couple more corrections but then I think it will be ready to turn in. You’ve got the USB, right?” He asked, holding his hand out towards you. You grabbed the USB from your pocket, handing it to him and he slid it into the computer, loading the paper on his screen.

“When we’re done with this, we should celebrate.” Jungkook said, sliding his finger along the mouse pad as he moved the word document to where he wanted it.

“How?” You asked and he shrugged.

“We’ll figure something out. OK, so I’m gonna mark the things I want to work on in yellow and then we’ll get started talking about how you think it could be even better and we’ll go from there.”

**

After spending the next hour going through your work and ironing out the kinks, you were actually excited to turn in an assignment for once. This was probably the best paper you’d ever written and aside from Jungkook’s (admittedly invaluable) guidance, you’d written it by yourself. You didn’t think there’d ever been a time before when you could say you were proud of something you’d written.

Jungkook stood up, stretching and walked to the other side of the room, searching through the bookcase while you put your paper and USB away. It was nearly time to head home and help your mom make dinner.

“Hey, do you like music?” Jungkook asked, walking back towards you as he stared down at one of his father’s old records and you frowned. 

“What kind of a dumb question is that?” You scoffed. “Of course, I like music.”

“I’m not talking about today’s stuff; I’m talking about real music.”

“OK, snobby.” You laughed and he grinned, holding up the record for you to see. “The Temptations? Never heard of them.”

“Shut your mouth!” Jungkook gasped, making his way to the record player. “Don’t you worry, we’re gonna right this wrong right now.”

“I wasn’t really worried.” You mumbled, watching as he placed the record on the turntable and grabbed the needle to start the song. You stood up, making your way over to where he stood.

The record player scratched to life, an upbeat tempo filling the room and Jungkook closed his eyes, body swaying to the beat. “This song is my favorite of theirs. It wasn’t their most popular, which I don’t get because it just makes you wanna dance.”

“What’s it called?” You asked, dragging your finger idly across the desk as you watched him sway and his eyes blink open to look over at you. 

“It’s called “Get Ready.” Here, dance.” He said, coming around to your side of the table and grabbing your hand.

You frowned, shaking your head and trying to pull back. “I don’t dance, Jungkook. I’m bad at it.”

“Me too.” He grinned and you glared at him.

“You’re on the schools dance team. Don’t lie.”

He laughed, shaking his head and pulling you further into the center of the living room. “Come on, there’s nothing to it. Just throw your hands up in the air and move your hips and feet.” He pushed your arms above your head and grabbed at your hips, making them twist as you tried to awkwardly sway back and forth.

  “I feel like an idiot.” You pouted and he grinned.

“Just close your eyes and pretend like no one’s watching.” He said, twisting his hips in a way that made you giggle.

“You’re watching.” You insisted and he smiled, eyes slipping closed.

“Better?”

You sighed, shaking your arms out nervously before starting to twist your body in earnest, trying to find the rhythm in your hips. You closed your eyes tight, lips clenched together as you concentrated on the music. It was lively and fun, a song you’d definitely heard before, though not often and you’d not known who sung it. Your arms rose above your head subconsciously and you could feel your lips peeling slowly into a smile. It felt nice to let loose; at least for a moment.

“There you go.” You could hear Jungkook’s smile before you opened your eyes to see it. He was dancing in earnest now, arms flung in front of his chest as he shook his hands back and forth and you laughed, continuing to dance along to the music until the song ended and you stopped to catch your breath. 

Just then you heard your phone ringing from the couch and you ran to dig through the pillows where it had fallen, pulling it out and sliding to answer. 

“Hello?” You asked, holding the phone close to your ear as you watched Jungkook take the record from the record player and delicately put it back in its sleeve and on the shelf with his dad’s other records. “Yeah, I’ll head back now. OK, bye.” You hung up, sliding your phone in the back pocket of your jeans.

Jungkook looked over at you, shaggy hair hanging over the edge of his eyebrows and he smiled softly. “Your mom?”

“Yeah, I gotta go help her get ready for dinner.” You grabbed your folder, sliding it into the crook of your elbow. “You’re still coming, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” He said softly, coming to stand in front of you. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

**

Once the Jeon’s had arrived, both of your families made way into the kitchen to grab plates and pile them high. You let the greed of your eyes decide for you, piling your plate far higher than necessary and Jungkook smirked at you from across the island.

“Hungry?” He grinned and you frowned.

“Don’t judge me, Jeon!”

He held up a hand as surrender and Ella giggled from beside him, her plate practically empty next yours as she plucked a few spoonfuls of rice onto it. 

“You’re so dramatic, Y/N.” She teased.

“All I’m saying is let me live my dreams.” You huffed, finishing off your plate with a roll and Ella laughed, following you to the table with Jungkook traipsing behind.

“So, Y/N” Jieun started, as everyone finally sat down to eat, “It’s almost your birthday! Are you going to have a soulmate reveal?”

A loud crash ripped through the air from the end of the table and you all looked at Jungkook who hissed, rubbing at his knee. “Uh, sorry…hit my knee.”

His mother chuckled, swatting at him, “be careful, you big lump.” She then trained her vision back on you and you pushed at your mashed potatoes in discomfort.

“Actually, I just wanted to have it be a pretty private thing.”

“Oh, so just your family and us? Well, that’s OK, you don’t need to have a big party to celebrate. We can still be there to cheer you on all the same.”

“Mom.” Jungkook whined softly under his breath and she glanced over at him, “leave her alone. She wants to spend her birthday in private. As in by herself.”

“Well surely not without her family?” She asked in surprise, turning to look at her best friend and then back at you, “your family will be there with you at least? It’s a very special moment in a person’s life, after all.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “actually, I just want to be alone during that moment. I don’t really believe in the soulmate thing, I guess. I mean, I know it’s real and that a name will appear on my wrist, but I think it’s pretty contrived that, that person is just supposed to magically be everything I’ve ever wanted.” You shrug as your voice quiets, taking note of the shock on both of Jungkook’s parents faces.

He himself had gone eerily quiet, chewing absentmindedly on his pot roast, eyes shifting anywhere else in the room and you realized with a sigh that he was done helping you try to distract his mother.

“Y/N’s always been peculiar about this sort of thing,” your mother chuckled good naturedly, “Never really liked the whole soulmate birthday party thing, though we’ve definitely tried to pique her interest.”

“It’s OK if she’s not interested!” Ella insisted, smiling as all eyes shifted to her. “I think it’s kind of cool that she wants to keep it private, like her own special little secret.”

You smiled over at your sister as a thank you and conversation resumed on new topics, though Jungkook was oddly quiet for most of the dinner, only really speaking when spoken to. You wondered what his parents thought of him getting his own tattoo. As far as you knew, no one but him even knew the name on his wrist. He was private about it for a different reason than you wanted to be private about your own. It must have made them sad to not share in that moment with him.

Perhaps your parents would feel sad too. You just couldn’t bring yourself to change your mind, though. If you could, you’d make sure the tattoo never appeared; that way you could choose completely for yourself how you got to live your life. If you could.

**

The night before your 18th birthday probably should have been more exciting than it was. This year your birthday fell on a Saturday and as such, you were wearing the fluffiest pajamas you owned, curled under a blanket with your laptop balanced on your lap, pulling up Netflix to binge watch a show to take you into the early morning hours of the weekend when your life would suddenly change completely.

It was an interesting juxtaposition, turning 18. You were about to have a name appear on your wrist that would impact the rest of your life, but until you met that person, your life would stay exactly the same. It was terrifying and comforting all at the same time. You had half an hour until midnight and currently your parents were in bed and Ella was downstairs in the kitchen having a late-night snack.

You rubbed at your wrist anxiously, skimming through the titles of the movies you could watch. You needed something light hearted and funny; something that would take your mind off this stupid soulmate situation.

Twenty minutes into the movie and with only ten minutes until your birthday, your wrist began to tingle. You frowned, covering your wrist with your hand and trying to ignore it. Your parents had told you that it would hurt a little when your tattoo first came and that the ache would last a few days. Just a nice little reminder of the situation you had no control over. Every minute that ticked by, your heart raced faster and your wrist burned more.

You were so anxious you almost couldn’t sit still; a wave of anxiety building so high you thought you might scream. You’d never felt what claustrophobia was like, but you could imagine it was much like this. Just trapped in a situation you couldn’t get out of. 

You wanted to cry by one minute to twelve. The stinging was intense and your anxiety was through the roof. You hadn’t bothered to look at your wrist yet, you knew that the black of the tattoo was already starting to show but you were terrified to see it. Eyes bleary from pain, you tried to focus on your breathing. This was not at all what you were expecting. Staring up at the ceiling in the dark, laptop now abandoned on the side of your bed, you laid back against your pillow, blinking away the tears. At 12:01 the pain began to dull and you sighed, breath shuddery as you wiped the tears from your cheeks.

Sitting up sluggishly, you pulled your laptop back into your lap, allowing the light from the screen to illuminate your area. Releasing a deep breath, you lifted the sleeve of your pajama top and felt your stomach drop, room suddenly tilting on its axis.

You’d never felt more nauseous and confused in your life. It must have been incorrect, there was no possible way. Blinking down at your wrist again you felt like your world had shattered, a million pieces dangling in the air around you as you sat frozen. A nightmare you didn’t know you were living.

The only name you’d never expected to appear on your wrist was there, blinking up at you in a crisp, black scrawl.

Jeon Jungkook.

**

Oh my gosh! This was your small reprieve, haha, next chapter is gonna be a big one (obviously) so strap in! I’ll be writing a mini chapter from Jungkook’s point of view when he got his tattoo starting immediately and then get working on chapter 9. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts and opinions. <3

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

Copyright © 2018  by taeken-my-heart (Nora.) All rights reserved.

[gumnut-logic]

Fanfic Asks 5

This one is for @louthestarspeaker who asked for D U X, @misssquidtracy who asked for H M O and @janetm74 who asked for W. Thank you for your kind questions ::hugs you all so much::

-o-o-o-

D. Do you prefer gen or romance?

If you asked me this two years ago, I would have said gen. Now…I see value in both. There is something just nice about having a couple who know each other so well that they can just fall into each other’s arms at the end of the day.

But I’ve always been a fan of bromance, two guys who will do anything for each other whether they are related or not. I’m a child of eighties TV and grew up on those kinds of relationships. Kirk and Spock are a prime example (yeah, I know they are from the 60s, but I didn’t exist then and the most of the movies came out in the eighties) .

Which leads onto the question of slash. I do read slash, but not so much in this fandom beyond a little Virgil/Brains. My heart truly lives in the friendship or family department. Even my ship could be considered monogamous happily ever after. This is not because I have any objections to one night stands or flings or whatever anyone enjoys, more of a case of I enjoy it (and Virgil’s character calls for it).

I’m a long term fanfic reader and have stumbled across a lot in my time in fandom. I just choose to read what I like and let everyone have their fun their way. I like a little whump, comfort and loyal and devoted friends. I guess I love the idea that people can stick together through anything.

As for writing, I like a challenge and will step outside my comfort zone time to time just to see if I can do it. However, you will always find a brother hanging around when Virg gets injured :D

 U. Do you prefer AUs or canon compliant fics?

I’m pretty open to all sorts of things…except for character breaking. If the character isn’t in character then it is no longer the character.

::chews nails worrying if I’ve broken Virgil’s character beyond redemption::

If it is well-written and hooks me, I’ll read pretty much anything (within my limits).

Writing…AUs require a lot of world building. My AUs tend to be branches off canon that diverge away, taking the built world with them. Things like coffee-shop AUs are a bit beyond my interest level (especially since I don’t drink coffee).

Marks & Wings is my first completely AU fic series. I did have to do some world building, but they are basically the Tracy bros with wings (except for Gordo, he is considerably different). To be honest, I use that universe as a place to write when I’m completely stuffed. The writing is more sensory than my other fics and I can just get arty farty and play with words.

But, as always, whatever I feel like at the time is what gets written.

 X. What fandom have you written the most fics for?

That would be Thunderbirds fandom. According to Ao3, I’m at 132 Thunderbirds fics with 750,000 words. Reactions plus a few other fics/chapters are yet to be posted.

That is over twice my combined other fandoms, heading toward three times. In two years.

You guys have just inspired me so much. Look what you’ve done! ::hugs you all like crazy::

 H. What is the longest fic you’ve written?

Written in 2003, The Asgard Sequence at 80,000 words (I thought it was shorter at 75,000 ::frowns at FF.net::) was my third Stargate SG-1 fanfic. Full of cliffhangers, it basically whumps Jack O’Neill within an inch of his life while exploring the Asgard people. Lots of plot written by the seat of my pants and nowhere at the quality I’m achieving today, but it remains my most popular fic on FF.net and I still get the occasional comment even 17 years after it was published. It was a landmark fic for me.

The question is…is there enough plotline left in the Kermadec Fic to overtake it? I don’t know. Possibly not, but we’ll see. I do have the tendency to ramble nowadays :D

 M. How do you come up with titles?

Write fic first and work out what to call it when at least partly written. I usually look for something short that sums up what the fic is about combined with an inkling of interest that might help draw the reader in. Sometimes I structure the fic (if I’m planning it) in a certain way that leads to the title.

Here are some working titles versus the final titles just for a little fun (the file names are all that remains – first name first, final name second):

Scott and Jeff – Suits

Riguadagnare – Il Mago

Virg and Gordo – A Good Day

The Visitor – Sky Candy

One of the brothers being ticklish – His Part

Marry Me – The Proposal

Hold Still – Lucky Shot

Gentle Showers – Gentle Rain

The Glacier – Access Denied

Tired Virgil – Tick Tock

Tropical rain is warm – Warm Rain

Veggie’s shower fic – To Hurt Us

Just a few from my computer. I still have several that don’t have titles at all.

 O. Is there any fandom you’ve been into that you haven’t written fic for? Why not?

Definitely. I’ve read:

Farscape

Avengers

How to Train Your Dragon

Arrow

Stargate Atlantis (did start a fic, haven’t finished it – also roleplayed a bit as Rodney McKay)

Sherlock

All the Next Gen Star Trek series (did dabble a little, but never finished anything, my heart lies in TOS)

There are probably more that I can’t think of at the moment. With the exception of Farscape and the Trek series, all of the above were read in the last ten years. They were simply relief from motherhood really. I love fanfic in general, hardly read anything else nowadays, but I wasn’t in the right place to write during my forays into the above fandoms. I was also very focussed on my professional art business.

TAG hit me at a point where I was struggling, in desperate need and I went down like a ton of bricks.

 W. Have you ever written anything that you are embarrassed by today?

Considering the thirty years since I started, sure, there are some fics that are a bit crappy. Heh, I still write crappy stuff from time to time ::eyes Reactions and kicks it with a toe::

But embarrassed? I may have been when I was younger. Especially outside of fandom. But now…I’m a perfectionist who has come to terms (mostly) that my stuff is never going to be perfect. All my stuff has had its purpose and is a step up the learning curve – that goes for everything.

Having said that, I do find myself hesitating to mention the one or two slash fics I have written in the past in other fandoms.

Mentioning that I wrote for Knight Rider gets the oddest looks. I wrote two slash fics in that fandom, but they are close to what I write here in content and plotlines.

I have also written a few explicit scenes in this fandom (of varying quality ::rolls eyes:: ).

Mentioning fanfic outside of fandom has its challenges and when it comes to the above mentions, these are likely not the ones I’d highlight to my workmates (though they all know I write fanfic). I had to stop myself from posting a link to Gentle Rain on Facebook a while back because while I’m happy with its novelish length and content, it does have that one scene…

So, yeah, maybe a little wary of what other people might think of things content-wise. Writing-wise, I’m fairly confident, except when I get the wibblies ::eyes floppy Virg and John…just John…no other Tracy gives me as much strife as Johnny::

-o-o-o-

Thank you to all the wonderful peeps who asked me all these questions. I hope I haven’t bored you silly with my answers (or scared you off with the last one ::chews nails:: ).

I also hope I haven’t missed anyone. Poke me if I have and I will apologise profusely and answer asap.

::eyes word count on questions:: Well, I’ve written 3,500 words about myself ::gulp::

And it is heading toward 1.30am with work tomorrow.

Nutty

(saluting off)

[munchies-for-thought]

The reason your favorite character is flawed and how it changed how I saw my life

Jun 18, 2020

Context: I’m a huge fan of the anime “JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure”. (Reading Part 6 pls don’t spoil kthx bai). Don’t worry. You don’t even have to know about anime to get my message. It’s just the example closest to me.

The revelation behind each flaw

Rohan Kishibe is a character that is incredibly talented as a manga artist. He is so obsessed in his craft that he goes to terrifying and ethically questionable extents to get inspiration for his stories. Sometimes a villain, sometimes a hero. His art is everything for him. Well worth risking his or someone else’s life. He is generally a good guy, and wishes good upon the world. He just won’t go out of his way to make it happen. He is also defeated almost immediately after we meet him.

Rohan Kishibe is indeed one of my favorite characters of all times for a multitude of reasons, yet when describing him, he clearly is a flawed character. Yet this is NOT about him. While you read this blog, please think on the coolest fictional character you can think of. Do you have one in mind? Can you answer the following about your favorite character?

Has your favorite character failed?

Has he been hurt badly?

Are some things out of his control?

Do most people in his world generally understand the struggle they go through?

You’ll see when comparing with friends that we mostly agree on these answers even when thinking on different characters. The interesting truth lies in the common factor behind these answers, and learning a bit from the power of good storytelling.

One of the most precious things that I have gained from playing videogames, watching anime and playing Dungeons & Dragons all my life, is the first-hand knowledge of the power of a good story. Although it is in the HOW you make a good story, where I found this revelation that helped me so much.

What I am trying to say might be simple and even obvious when read, but not truly understood. If you bear with me a bit longer, I will attempt not to say, but to explain. I’ll show you the building blocks of how I learned so you truly understand as I did.

Dungeon and Dragons’ Character Backgrounds

The first time I made a new character in Dungeons and Dragons (Drow Elf Bard btw) I was blown away when I found out that whereas you get to pick from options that greatly impact your likelihood of winning, you also had to pick background and personality options that held no significant impact on your success.

You could choose to be a triumphant noble, a devote acolyte, a successful guild merchant or even a lying charlatan. Hell, if you wanted to you could even pick an orphan who had lost it all in the edgiest way known to man!

The book was also quite good at giving you specific quirks that brought that character to life. All of this happened because D&D is focused on group storytelling. Everyone wants your character to be interesting so their adventure gets 10x cooler when their complex characters interact with yours in intriguing and unexpected ways.

For example:

The secret beauty behind flaws

I was just a tad... confused. I had to chose a flaw? Why would I want to do this? All of these options look just like ugly parts of your character’s personality and could easily affect them negatively within the story.

Was this a balancing feature? A rule simply put there to make you less awesome, so no one is too overpowered? I just could NOT wrap my head around it. I couldn’t understand how this could make things fun. They were ruining my character.

It was until I started maturing as an individual and learned more about game design and storytelling that I started to appreciate how genius that was. No one cares for the story of perfect, bland, basic individuals who always succeed and have never made mistakes before. Because that is not real, it doesn’t work for an interesting story if there’s no sadness. If there’s no pain, you can just simply look away.

It was to be expected of the game designers of the best roleplaying game in the world to know that having flaws, failures, challenges, weaknesses, mistakes, all of them are ESSENTIAL for a great story to be told!

Was there a moment in your favorite character’s story where his failures and his pain made you love them on a whole new level? Aren’t those failures what drives your characters to become who they are? Would it be a better story if they had always succeeded?

So who is this Rohan Kishibe and, as an artist, what is his take on good storytelling?

Rohan’s Philosophy

Not only is Rohan a good example of a flawed character, but he also has a very interesting philosophy. He is a famous and wealthy manga artist. You’ve got to understand that, to Rohan, his craft is EVERYTHING. It is the thing he does best and what defines him.

Let me just show you one quote of his, so you understand his artistic philosophy:

“Reality is the energy that breathes life into a piece of work, and reality itself is entertainment. People often think that manga are drawn from imagination and fantasy, but that’s not actually true! For me, drawing something that i’ve experienced, or something that has moved me, is what makes it interesting!”

His pursuit for inspiration is so great, that he constantly goes to insane lengths to gain inspiration. This unrelenting desire is why he was originally a villain. Yet even when the protagonist defeated him, all Rohan could think of was of how this set of unfortunate and unlucky events was within itself a hell of a REAL story to use as inspiration. He saw value even in his misfortune as long as it was honest, untapped, unadulterated and pure reality.  That’s his trade secret as a famous and successful storyteller.

Understanding reality, storytelling and our identity

Warning: We’re about to get metaphysical. You might wanna take that bong hit right now. You’ve been warned.

Talking about reality is like opening Pandora’s box. It is such a massively complex topic that before we can even get to the nitty-gritty of it, let’s just agree on the following for the sake of this conversation:

Depending on how skeptic you are, reality could be mostly subjective or arbitrarily objective. So just follow my lead on this one and match your understanding with mine at least while you read this blog.

NO ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSES OR REALITIES

Fate is merely the belief that there is a predestined way things will happen no matter what. Since its only requirement is also its only consequence, (which is also impossible to prove) then even thinking on fate is pointless or even harmful to an individual as it removes agency from himself and turns him into a bystander in his own life.

Facts are limited to the provable physical world. If you can’t prove it, you don’t KNOW it is real, but you could still believe it to be real.

Our understanding of ourselves, comes partly from how others perceive us and their own subjective view of reality.

As mere humans we don’t completely control reality, but we control how it affects us.

Your own experiences and passions have a gargantuan influence on your interpretation of reality.

Storytelling could be simplified as “the way in which reality is described”.

Changing how you tell a story doesn’t change the facts.

That last one sounds a bit anticlimactic doesn’t it? Specially since we’ve talked so much about storytelling just to find out it can’t change reality. You might even wonder if its uses are only limited to art?

Fret not! This is where it all starts coming together.

My story

Before you disregard storytelling as just an art form, or an overglorified logbook, let’s think outside of the box and take a few leaps with me. Let me show you when was it that it clicked for me:

“Just when the COVID-19 lockdown was about to begin, I was at one of my lowest. I’ve always been someone very adamant on living life as he sees best. Even when friends or family wouldn’t understand my decision, I would still pursue my own path. I was proud of this and felt it made me immune to what other people thought. Yet, years of failed relationships were starting to make me doubt myself.

After an emotional breakdown at Denny’s after being stood-up (Great story for another day) I started worrying that the problem might be me. I’ve always been open to feedback as long as it makes sense to me in a logical way, but I had built so much thought behind who I was, that I didn’t even consider that maybe, I was more flawed than what I had originally assessed.

Maybe if all these bad things kept happening to me, there was a constant behind it all. Judging by the fact that these happened throughout the span of years and with different people, it was only reasonable to assume I was the only constant. Maybe my relationships, both in love and in friendship, were failing not because of individual and complex reasons, but because I was involved in all of them.

Maybe I just won’t build close friends or a family, but I guess I can still find a way to enjoy life. It’s just a lonely life, a very lonely life, but it’s best to face reality head on. That’s what I have always taught myself, right? It would be foolish not to do so when the answer is an inconvenient one. It’s still reality. Better get used to it I guess.”

Wow, that went to a very dark place didn’t it? It’s crazy looking at it in retrospective, but while it happened, it really felt like that was just the facts. I sucked at friends and love. That was just the cold hard reality to me. I mused:

“It’s like if I was a D&D character with low charisma doomed to suck at social encounters... “

and then a sudden realization froze me to the core...

Even if by mere accident, I ended up thinking of myself as a D&D character. Remember all that talk about flawed characters? Well, what if I would see myself as a flawed character? We already agreed that the best characters fail, struggle, suffer, cry, rage, and they make mistakes!

It’s like I had opened a whole new dimension that brought new light into who I was. Those weren’t horrible memories of things that broke me down and I wish no one would ever find out anymore. Those were just wild chapters on the bizarre adventure that is my life. These are badges of honor of what my very own story is!

Storytellers are already influencing your reality

I won’t stand here and tell you that everything bad happens for a good reason. Please be careful not to take the wrong message out of this. That wasn’t what I realized at that moment. I finally was able to see that there were two storytellers that had been affecting me all my life, and I hadn’t really seen their influence before!

Let me unmask these two powerful beings that through their storytelling, had changed my reality.

Powerful Storyteller #1 - Those close to you

Did you notice how the story that I was listening from my friends and love interests was sounding aggressively negative towards my self-value? I thought I didn’t care but I was indeed interpreting my life through their stories.

Since we already understand that we each have our own interpretation of life, good and wrong, then it’s not that hard for us to understand that we will never fully agree on what’s cool. Some of us love things that most people don’t even understand. So when they talk to you, they are inadvertently telling you a story about how you’re weird, instead of fascinating.

If only you could have friends or people who DID understand you, then maybe the stories about you would be seen in a much more positive light. It’s not your friends fault for not understanding, you were just asking something unreasonable from them.

Get yourself surrounded by those who are weird like you. You’ll notice that for the right crowd, you’re just the coolest person just for being who you are. That feeling is just invigorating in every sense.

Powerful Storyteller #2 - Yourself

Back in my story, you can see how I took a lot of my own “interpretations” as “facts” or even “reality” when I told myself my own story. You could have just as well told my same story but in a different way with a much more positive light:

“My relationships did fail, but that doesn’t necessarily reflect on my self-worth. I can continuously fail but love the fact that I’m the type of character that is still hopeful and positive even after repeatedly failing and suffering pain each time.”

It’s important you understand what makes you cool as a character. Because it is your job to tell yourself the story of who you are, what you’ve done, and who you will be. You have already been doing so for as long as you can remember, so you don’t even notice it anymore. You are STILL, to this day, re-telling yourself your story and changing how you feel about some parts of it.

What can we do about it?

So if you already are in charge of such a crucial and delicate task, why don’t you apply what we’ve learned so far? Can’t you see how you as the audience (from your own storytelling) would feel when seeing your main character in emotional pain? Don’t you feel empathy and love towards it because of all it has struggled?

You have the power to choose whether or not you will tell your story as the sad log of things you suck at, or as the crazy adventures of someone who’s just trying to do their best. Someone who is AWESOME because you do understand why he gets so excited when talking about that thing, and why he is so disappointed that that other thing didn’t work out again.

Those dark painful memories are beautiful crystallizations of true art! You already have what Rohan Kishibe is willing to kill to get. You already have an amazing REAL story, you now just have to use your storytelling skills to make yourself some justice, and talk about yourself like the amazing character you are when you tell that story to yourself next time you go to sleep.

At least when it comes to my story, well, the only reason why I would ever even think of writing a blog this long, is because I’ve changed the way I tell my story. I firmly believe that most people will never even have the opportunity to read this, but I have also seen value in these thoughts even if there’s no one besides myself who will listen to my story. If anything, at least I hope my story helps you love your character a bit more, just how I have learned to truly appreciate mine.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to my story. I would always love to hear yours.