#diagnosed bipolar

[futureless]

no offense to myself but like what the fuck am i doing

[unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin]

Is there anyone with Bipolar disorder I could talk to to find out if I’ll have this feeling forever? Because of I am then there’s no fucking point to living anymore

[thatadhdfeel]

being diagnosed with something later in life is like. oh. so this is why i was lost. this is why i was hurt. this is why i was hated. this is the piece i knew was missing, but couldn’t name. now that name has been granted. and you sit in the doctor’s office chair. you stare at the insurance code. you wonder what could have been, had you known earlier. you wonder and wonder and wonder.

[honeehazard]

you kiss your mother with that mouth

[prismatic-ink]

when the humor so good people think you have a mood disorder

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

[zivazivc]

Sorry if this has already been asked before but why did the band break up? And did they break up on decent terms? Do they still talk to each other sometime?

It has been asked before, I just never answered jshfbdjcbh I'm still piecing everything together and stuff is changing or getting tweaked all the time, so I'm always super hesitant about answering these types of questions, afraid that people will take whatever I say as the final answer. So basically what I'm going to answer now will already contradict what I told some people already. And maybe in the future the story might go a little differently too (although I'm pretty satisfied with the current events)

Uhhh, get ready for a long info dump. I didn't expect I'd write this much...

Floyd basically stayed with the band for 8 years (from 14 till 22) and got pretty messed up in the process. The rest of the guys are all quite older than him so I guess I could say they were more responsible, or at least had a better understanding of their own limits (also they grew up in this kind of environment or grew up aware of it, while Floyd was oblivious and naive about all of it) and while they do get drunk and do drugs often, none of them are really dependent on them. They are also pretty good judges of character and know how to avoid trouble. Floyd on the other hand drove in with no breaks and constantly got himself in trouble that the rest (mostly Les) had to drag him out of. He also developed bipolar during this time (in my story Floyd constantly fluctuates between being saturated and being desaturated because of this) and his manic and depressive episodes started getting out of hand after his teenage years. (None of them are aware it's a mental disorder that's making him act so out of character.)

Floyd was becoming miserable because of this and all of his problems pilling up, and started blaming Les for the way he was. Les never argued this which only fueled Floyd to blame him more. In the end he was getting so frustrated and irritable that Floyd constantly tried starting arguments with him, even putting him down and getting aggressive at times because Les gets very unresponsive and closed off during personal conversations (guy is a giant onion of suppressed trauma that Floyd is hellbent on peeling open).

Eventually there was one fight too many, terrible things were said, some objects flew through the air, and Floyd walked out (or Hed kicked him out, I haven't decided yet) with the promise of going home and never seeing them again.

So, yeah, it was very messy and Floyd was the primary asshole, even though he's not really to blame either...

But Floyd didn't make it home (was too scared to sneak through Bergen Town to get to the tree (i don't think i can judge him for that either)) and he just returned to the reckless lifestyle, this time without anyone being there to keep him safe. So if he was messed up before, this is the time period where he got absolutely fucked up. This is also when he got heavily addicted to sour worms. And when he chronically slept around (half the time just to get offered free worms or have somewhere to sleep, other times because he was having manic episodes and was feeling hypersexual). (This is also potentially the period when he had the two eggs with that techno troll, but I'm still thinking if I want that to be canon to the story or not.) During this time he also grew to become very anxious and his self-confidence went to shit when he was being himself.

Then after about three years of that, he bumped into Les at some party. He wanted to dodge him out of shame but Les grabbed his arm and manhandled him outside to talk. Floyd felt like shit about the way they had split up and tried apologizing for all the stuff he had said and done to Les, but Les wasn't having any of that because he wasn't angry at Floyd, he was just worried about him. Les is also insanely empathetic like Floyd, and he knew that Floyd never really meant any of it, and that he was just looking for an outlet when he was hurting. Also he does think he is to blame for the way Floyd ended up.

Les wanted to know why he didn't go home like he had said (because that was the only reason Les had even let him walk out in the first place). A few exchanged words later and Floyd broke down telling him all the awful things he'd done, and Les promised to help him, feeling insanely guilty. Floyd wondered if he was allowed back in the band but Les made it clear that the band wasn't good for him and that he was never taking him back. Instead Les helped him go though rehab. I don't think trolls have those institutions (or at least not many are aware of them or how they work (I'm sorry but I refuse to believe the Trolls world has internet and cellphones, Mountrageons can keep that for themselves lol)), so it was more or less just Les finding Floyd a job and his own place to stay in the middle of bumfuck nowhere where he had no option but to detox, and constantly checking up on him to make sure he was doing okay. During this time they grew pretty close again. Or maybe the better term would be that Les slowly started putting his walls down again.

Hed needed a while to warm up to Floyd again. He's almost as protective of Les as Les is of him, and he resented Floyd for the way he had treated him.

Flea is pretty phlegmatic when it comes to any sort of arguing or drama. He was casual about seeing Floyd again, they were never super close anyway.

And Liv, she left the band when she and Hed broke up (haven't decided if that happened before or after Floyd left), so Floyd didn't get to see her again after bumping into Les at the party. And I haven't thought yet if they'd ever meet again somewhere later in life. But if they did, I think they'd both be happy to see each other.

Anyway...

Floyd managed to detox and successfully kept the job for about a year, but then he became manic again and messed it all up. After that he returned to his nomadic lifestyle, but he never fell as hard as those three years again. In my story Floyd's life is a constant cycle of getting his life together and fucking it up and booking to the next place. And he and Les are trapped in a never-ending cat and mouse game where they're both trying to fix each other.

So, uh, Les and Floyd are still very close and see each other somewhat often...

(sometimes monthly, sometimes yearly)

Yeah...

I am so fucking obsessed with them I'm gonna hurl. Please take this song before I combust:

[kota-corner]

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH??? (Speaking about the Autism and PMDD statistic specifically)

[ooppo]

Comic about growing up with bipolar disorder. Also, happy bipolar disorder day!!! ♥️

[futureless]

it kinda sucks that SO MANY very normal, but dramatic people claim to be traumatized/have ptsd or cptsd, ocd, bpd, adhd, bipolar, depression, anxiety that it’s almost become.. like a trend i guess? i know a lot of people do have real issues, i’m speaking for those that really do not… i feel like it makes it SO much harder for those of us who actually suffer severely & barely make it through every day to even talk to anyone bc EVERYONE & their mother claims that shit 🥴 stop false claiming true & seriously life-altering mental illnesses! there’s a difference in normal, human feelings/behaviors & actually being diagnosed with problems & literally being chemically imbalanced!!!

[gum-iie]

why’s it always the capitalists bro

[golden-golem]

My mother had passed away just a few days after the launch of Guild Wars 2. I was struggling with a freshly re-diagnosed mental illness and was adjusting to the new medication. I would be reassessed and given new psychiatric medications every few months for the next couple of years. It is something I still struggle with. Guild Wars 2 was the only place where I felt, at least for a time, that I could forget about the things that were hurting me so bad in real life. Sometimes this was bad, and sometimes this was good. In those first few years there were some really messed up encounters out of character. Sometimes other people messed up with me and sometimes I messed up with other people. We can unknowingly cause a lot of anguish and harm. I still think about what damage I might have caused, and how I have lost touch with people so I am unable to apologize, or explain, or thank them for the good things they did for me when I had been unstable. While I no longer interact with people the way I once did, I treasure those memories. When I talk about Xam, I am also speaking about the experiences I had a few years ago. He's just a character, the roleplay might have just been a story created by multiple people but I was also on a recovering journey with him. It is strangely so personal. But I want to share it, and I hope you don't mind.

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

silly vampire costumes and their added benefits™️ (directly based on this)

[tittyinfinity]

it's crazy finding out you're autistic as an adult bc then you start to notice the ways it affects you and has affected you throughout life

and then it becomes a hyperfixation bc you're like "omg this makes so much sense now" and you start feeling a bit better about yourself knowing that there's an explanation to everything

[909th]

btw i did watch the grammys in the psych ward lobby and yes i did rant abt lana getting snubbed and no nobody gaf