#diagnosed bpd

[futureless]

i don’t know if i’m fighting demons or if i am the demon at this point

[withered--s0uls]

Me this past few days bc BPD FPs

Uh if they see this,,,

Have flowers. Ily/p

[hatsuneskizo]

i am like francis scott fitzgerald but with big boobs and borderline personality disorder

[dailytears]

To future lover

When I love, I love with every fiber of my being. It'll be passionate, it'll be deep, but worst of all... It'll be intensive.

I've been hurt in ways most don't even wanna even imagine. My trust was systematically broken by those who I needed the most. My trust was broken by those who I was supposed trust.

By choosing to love me, you've chosen to love the little girl who just needs someone to hold her and tell her it's all gonna be alright. The little girl who's used to having no one. The little girl who has only known abandonment and abuse. She needs someone strong. She needs someone who'll love her unconditionally.

If you're truly there for me, you'll be there for her. Teach her to walk again. Teach her to trust.

Loving me isn't the easiest thing, in fact, it's far from it. I might worship the ground below your feet in the future, but you need to show me you're strong enough to handle me and my erratic emotions. Emotions that will change within seconds. I'll try and bring you the moon and the stars, only if you show you're able to be there for me when I can't handle the world around me.

Just show me that I'm not impossible to love.

Photo by: Joshua Fuller

Source: https://unsplash.com/photos/_I5DYcYuo6c

[xin-bloomx]

I try to convince myself

i’m no longer obsessed with you

whilst still trying to find reasons

to start yet another pointless conversation.

trying hard to stop thinking about you.

yet you’re all i can think of.

my mind is poisoned with sweet thoughts of you.

please tell me you don’t want me, so I can finally move on

[fibrefox]

the parent people sculpted me into the perfect perpetual self-traumatization machine, ensuring my ongoing self-sabotage until the offending erroneous thought pattern could be identified and reshaped

results have improved significantly since I found self kindness and self compassion. These are the most potent magicks I have ever encountered.

[notastraykid]

Sad, lonely, feeling unloved and unwanted, second best, second rate and an after thought.

[thestralboy]

I can’t do it anymore, fr I‘m so tired

[borderlineangel222]

it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place

[creepycrawliess]

what college does to a motherfucker 😭😭

[fluttershiesworld]

[ID: text reading:

Frequently Asked Questions:

How did you become like this? How was your childhood? Do your loved ones find you constantly grating? "Your clinician may ask to talk to family or loved ones to get complete information on the ways that your symptoms are [affecting] you. "Did you know you can lead a normal and fulfilling life? Did you know no one will ever truly love you? Do you know what compassion feels like? Do you care? How does anyone deal with you? How should I talk to you? Wow, you seem so different from everyone else who fits this arbitrary group of symptoms that I vaguely know. Why are you different? Are you special? Are you stupid? Are you human? Are you cursed? Are you monstrous? Are you possessed? Are you made of metal? Is rust eating you from the inside out? Are you a real boy? Are you a real girl? Are you raw meat? Are you beautiful? Are you an angel corrupted by pride upon seeing the shape of god? Are you an abstract painting? How can I make you what I want you to be in my singular narrative? end ID]

frequently asked questions, sunny valentine

[futureless]

no offense to myself but like what the fuck am i doing

[withered--s0uls]

I was only gonna post this on our system account but fuck it.

This is me rambling about how shitty our BPD is and how bad it is to gain a FP like GENUINELY NO IT'S NOT FUN.

(I switch back and fourth between singular and plural pronouns for us, idk it's just how most of us talk when referring to the system as a whole.)

Like you wake up so excited to see and talk to this person. Every message you get, every time the vc join sound happens you look up all excited to look if its them. You smile.

Then you see it isnt them. You sigh and your smile falls. You feel empty. You keep waiting and waiting, get fidgety and nervous etc.

You know they don't owe you their time, you KNOW they have their real life and own things to deal with. But you still feel empty.

Borderline isn't fucking fun.

Having a favorite person isn't fucking fun.

Your emotional stability relying on seeing even a single text from one specific person IS NOT FUN.

If the person sees this and GOD KNOWS HOW figures out this is about them;

I'm not mad. You do not owe us jack shit. We are grateful for whatever time we do get to talk and interact /gen

Please don't feel obligated to talk to us. Don't feel like it's somehow your job to keep us happy. It isn't.

I just wish my BPD actually understood that the same way I do.

Bpd fucking sucks and I wish I could turn it off. I would not wish BPD upon my worst enemy. I project it on fictional characters to cope, but I would never actually wish it upon a real person.

It's terrible to deal with. That's not me demonizing it, that is me saying that BPD isn't cutesy or rainbows, that having obsessive tendencies towards people that make you happy should NOT be romanticized (stares at yandere trope).

Idk where I'm getting at. Its half an hour past midnight, I feel empty.

I should probably try to get some sleep idk.

Edit: Ok no I'm pissed bc I was looking through the "bpd favorite person" tag after posting this to maybe find informative posts for our mutuals. DNI if you tag/label yourself as ""bpd yandere"" and genuinely think that the obsession that comes with bpd is "cute" or in any way "quirky". It fucking sucks and I wish I didn't fucking suffer from it bc believe me I speak from experience when I say; that obsession WILL hurt your FP sooner or later. Stop fucking romanticizing it you weirdos.

[prismatic-ink]

when the humor so good people think you have a mood disorder

[serialunaliver]

just read that "more women have bpd" because "bpd men are misdiagnosed with ptsd". LOL.

this shit is one reason I became antipsych. what is called bpd is clearly a trauma reaction that is interpreted differently based solely on gender stereotypes.

also men who act bpd as fuck are more likely to get diagnosed with npd or aspd if they're diagnosed with a cluster b personality disorder which is again gender stereotype: men are logical and not over emotional, so clearly he's an unfeeling sickopath.

google says bpd presents differently in men but the "different presentation" is literally just behavior in accordance with what is or isn't socially acceptable among men. although when it comes to "bpd men are more violent", I do have to wonder if violence itself is also differently interpreted based on gender in this scenario. in my experience, mental health issues involving violence are interpreted as psychosis in women even if the behavior is identical. I wouldn't just say "in my experience" either because look at assumptions made about female serial killers(ok regretting my new url already)

[staystrong2396]

I always fuck things up.