#didn’t change him Too much bc i think he’s happy w his appearance as is

[apollos-boyfriend]

day eighteen: aliens

purpled’s telling her about how much of a killing machine dogchamp is. it’s hard to believe him when said dog has been nothing but a sweetheart to you since day one

[dutybcrne]

Dawn Winery Head!Kae during Luc’s absence make brain go brr

[defensivelee]

hello to all my kinky William enjoyers out thereee! god has a plan for you, and by god i mean me, and by plan i mean a WIP from the tenth hot spring part two :)

i think i will be posting more Six Lives WIPs as time goes on bc uhh chapters are very spread out in between but im always so excited to show off what im working on and i want to feed you every now and then. some things will probably change in the final draft, or perhaps the WIP won't even appear in the end at all, but for now it's what i'll be happy with posting! if you want to read spoilz free, thats fine too :) obv i won't post any shattering plot points or anything like that

this ones some very nsfw/kinky b&w that i was very proud of and also i shamelessly found it hot so i wanted to post it like rn. i do have to give warnings for mentions of CSA, mentions of incest, having sex while intoxicated, and unhealthy BDSM practices. seriously, do not do what they did here william's just very drunk. otherwise, enjoy :]!

“Yeah...nothing...nothing, nothing, nothing, it was never anything to us...not in New Amsterdam, not to the Overlifers.” He glared up at the ceiling and took Bentinck’s hand. “And not to him.” He pulled Bentinck forward suddenly, and Bentinck gasped, his face flushing as he stared into William’s eyes. He felt the legs spreading around his own, William laughing and caressing his friend’s cheek.

“William, you...” Bentinck wanted to step away, tell him to calm down. But he let his Overlifer guide his hands, so that he found himself pulling away William’s jacket, and then his tie. William sighed in relief.

“Feels so good to have it off, Hans,” he whispered, caressing Bentinck’s cheek with one black nail. “Hm? Thank you. Clothes...fucking hate it.”

“Maybe you could try wearing less,” Bentinck said with an awkward cough.

“What do you think I’m tryna do, Hans?” William laughed again. “Get it all off, baby, I can’t stand it. I can’t stand it. It’s always worse when I drink...it’s always better.”

“What?” But Bentinck, once more, did as William said, all while William clumsily undid his belt and threw it to the side. Then he brought Bentinck in for a kiss like never before.

It wasn’t exactly what the Ally had in mind, especially after today. But once he touched the divine lips he gave in, sucking on William’s tongue and stroking his horns until they were both out of breath, though that never said much for William.

“Hans,” William said in between pants, “you are going to fuck me.”

“N-No, I...” Bentinck shook his head. “We tried once. You were so scared.”

“I need that damned fox and I need you,” William growled a little too quickly. “Is this not what you fuckin’ wanted? I want it. I’m not afraid ‘n I never was.”

“William, I’m not going to do this if you don’t really want it,” Bentinck said firmly. “You don’t have to do this for anyone but yourself. It wouldn’t be good for you.”

“I just said I wanted it!” William yelled, snapping his jaws near Bentinck’s face as if he had inherited his father’s sharp teeth. Bentinck jumped back, and William chuckled as he sat up.

“Look, Hans, I got over sucking my daddy’s cock by sucking yours,” he said, grinning wickedly. “What makes you think this won’t work, too?”

“I- I really don’t think you should phrase it like that.” Bentinck let out a nervous laugh as William pulled his pants down.

“Why not? Don’t like it when I call someone else daddy?” William climbed on top of him, and Bentinck couldn’t stop staring. “Want to be the only one, is that right?”

“Please don’t call me that,” Bentinck said. He sighed, relenting at last when William began to unbutton his shirt. “So you think riding me would make it better for your first time? You’d be more in control.”

“He made me ride him, too. When I was sixteen.”

“Oh.” Bentinck looked away. He really didn’t know what to say to that. William was never this forward.

“I’ll be fine,” William said. “I’ll be okay. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, okay?” He shut his eyes, and Bentinck wondered if he was really talking to himself instead. He was tempted to tell him to stop this, he was just drunk and he had no idea what he wanted, but then William was on him and he was so beautiful and he didn’t seem afraid anymore when Bentinck was in him.

It was everything Bentinck thought it might have been. He could tell it hurt William at first, but he seemed to like it even then. He took hold of Bentinck’s wrists and bowed his head, his breaths short and matching his movements. Bentinck gripped his waist to help him out, letting out his own huffs through his clenched teeth. There was never, ever going to be anything that would feel better than this.

“Hans,” William gasped, “hit me.”

“W-Where?”

“Anywhere. Leave a mark.”

“Should we- should we not talk about this first?”

“Fucking hit me, Ally.”

So Bentinck slapped his thigh hard, and William tossed his head back with a vicious roar in his moans. “Oh, Ferocity! Harder, harder, Hans!”

“Again?” Bentinck had to admit, he was pleased with the result of that.

“On my face...please.”

Bentinck slapped his face, tugged William around by his horns and tail, shoved his head back by a grip on his hair, all things William asked for and met with a howl Bentinck would have found hilarious if it really wasn’t so hot. When William lay back on the bed and ordered him to continue that way, he didn’t hesitate— he pinned his master’s arms beside his head and fucked him as an Overlifer was meant to be serviced. William arched his back, crying out and hissing like an animal.

“You’re so fucking hot, William, I hope you know that,” Bentinck leaned in to say.

“And you’re...you’re so big, oh, shit...” William was wheezing dangerously, but neither of them were done yet, and Bentinck only stopped if William told him to. “Blindfold me.”

Bentinck looked around, briefly stopping to reach out for his own tie he’d been wearing what felt like hours ago and tying it tightly around William’s head. That was when William turned around and ordered Bentinck to continue that way, and Bentinck gladly did so, holding William’s tail up just to look at himself inside of the Overlifer.

“Hold my arms back, don’t let me fucking move, pussy—!” William shouted, and Bentinck pinned his arms back, shoving into him as much as he could. William jolted forward with a snarl, his legs shaking. “Fuck, yes! Cum in me, Hans, I want your children!”

Bentinck burst out laughing, just as he came inside William, and then everything was meaningless from there. The only thing that mattered was William gasping, his tightness around Bentinck and his whines under his breath.

“Thank you, sir...thank you...thank you...”

Bentinck paused to catch his breath, then leaned forward to pull down the tie from William’s eyes. “You don’t have to say that to me,” he said with a smile. “I was doing it all for- for you. And I loved it.”

But William didn’t answer. His eyes were screwed shut, his breaths short, and Bentinck rubbed at his back. “William? Do you need your inhaler?”

William opened his eyes and nodded. “It’s...just you.”

“Yes.”

“Oh, thank the- thank the dwaallichten.” He took Bentinck’s hand and didn’t let go for the rest of the night.

[launching-a-thousand-ships]

Kurt Glee Rewatch: The Power of Madonna

I know it’s not a major Kurt ep, but I just love him and Mercedes here omg. Lowkey one of my fav Glee songs...

Lowkey the first time is hype about the assignment and Will didn’t even come up with it... classic.

Also I need to convey how much I love his hoodie (esp with the hat, prob so hood doesn’t fall down). I wish we got to see it again! Kurt has some pieces he wears a lot (black boots, white pants, this grey shirt w a white collar), but then there are outfits that appear once and then... never again.

Love that he dances along, the only one truly appreciating the performance. This is why Kurt hangs out with the girls, gosh. Like dudes, even with your prejudice, can’t you appreciate an absolute bop???

But also bc Kurt in same hoodie... this is the same day. When did the girls do the costume change and practice? I love glee logic lol.

Another great look, lowkey love him in turtlenecks. And I love Kurtcedes s1! Do we ever see Kurt do film ever again? Bc this talent came outta nowhere? I guess there’s sorta the music video at Vogue when he gives Rachel a makeover? Would be fun if we saw more of it.

And yay, the start of Kurt and Sue’s super weird friendship. I find it sweet that even after everything, Kurtcedes still has sympathy for her. Even though she then goes to throw students around... and Kurtcedes is unfazed... what is this school.

He’s so hurt that Sue couldn’t keep up with fashion trends... a true travesty.

“Mercedes is black, I’m gay. We make culture” I love it.

I legit love the Kurt and Sue dynamic. I’m sure part of this was them wanting the Cheerios for their video, but he also wants to help. I think Kurt respects Sue, but doesn’t agree with her methods. And he def sees the humanity in her, here and in Funeral. 

And Sue def has sympathy for Kurt and I think she does respect him on some level. He has that more snarky side and like. He also has no affection for Schue. 

First off, Chris Colfer looks so good in vintage style/black and white. You can often see Kurt’s influence of old Hollywood and it just fits. It’s why I get so annoyed when there are jokes/comments of Kurt wearing ridiculous/girly stuff bc it seems like the other characters treat him like a more camp-y gay and that’s not really his style? He’s so into fashion and he prefers a more sophisticated look.

But anyway, I’m so curious about the behind the scenes of this vid. I’m assuming Sue paid for it bc it looks v extra. But also just... how they styled everything etc. I can’t imagine that Sue is easy to work with.

Ooh, another vintage-y look. Very detective-vibes.

Also, even tho the Kurt-Sue friendship is starting, she still keeps him on the list she gives to Figgins lol. She wants all them glee kids gone. Or maybe she thinks that Kurt would actually mange to make it in a new city with 5 bucks lol.

And then.... then we get... Cheerio!Kurt!!!

First I need to point out a rare Quinn/Kurt interaction! And if you watch them in the background, you can see Kurt (but really Chris tbh) playing with the hat, puts it on Quinn’s head for a second. I love it. Wish we had more of them in canon.

I will gush forever about cheerio!Kurt. I loved football!Kurt too and wish we got more eps, but omg him as a cheerio is everything. I’m happy he was a cheerio for a while (tho I wish we got to see another performance, esp the Celine Dion medley). ANd omg why wasn’t he on the team longer?? I guess tricky s2 with his transfer, but s3?? When he needs stuff for his application? And ugh, I just wanted more.

And I’m so happy he and Mercedes joined bc they prob felt so useless in glee. At least Mercedes gets some of the belt-notes? But Kurt is just background. This is his first song since Wheels (second in the season) and he’s already improved so much? I love when they let him sing in his lower tones, he sounds so good. And he’s such a performer, all the energy.

I wish we got more Kurtcedes duets. I just... they’re so great. And the only other one is in s5 and tbh not a fan of that one. This is just.. I love it! Esp as Mercedes’ voice is amazing, but in Glee they don’t always have her perform so much? Like, she had Bust Your WIndows but after that they have her as the ‘park and bark’ character? But pair her with Kurt, who was a born performer, and it’s amazing. Plus their chemistry, and they hype each other up, it’s so great.

Esp compared to Wheels! And his audition! That awk kid standing still and singing? Gone. He’s having so much fun and you can see that here is where he is truly confident as a performer. And this song is just so fun, esp with everyone’s reactions in the crowd (I love how happy Quinn is for them).

Tbh Will has no reason to be mad. He has other cheerios in glee. And they aren’t leaving the club. Plus, even after they do this and have repeatedly voiced their opinions on wanting to perform, he still never gives them a real chance to perform. I just- Ugh he angers me so much.

Part of me just has this pic bc I love his outfit here (and we never see it again).

Love that he’s included in this, even tho he hasn’t been doing much sexist stuff? But hey, why miss out on chance to sing Madonna? And he can speak out as the ‘honorary girl’ and call out the others. Love that he makes sure Will admits his faults lol

No but they’re so cute, honestly. 

Yay, Kurt got a line here. They had him do that higher register tho, which isn’t as refined... but at least it’s something

Not gonna lie, anytime I hear this song it makes me think of the comic Check Please bc in the Locker Room guide, the characters sing this in the background lol

[honeypiehotchner]

“aren’t you going to thank me?” (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- one shot

Nothing like coming back with a smut one shot am I right? 🤪🤪🤪 Happy International Women’s Day here’s Hotch eating you out

Prompt is from @multiverse-mxdness​ cm discord writing challenge!! I had too much fun w this

Warnings: oral sex (f receiving), I honestly don’t think there’s much else unless you count Hotch himself as a warning (I do), ofc there’s the slight power dynamic bc he’s your boss

WC: 1,185 (I wrote this in like 15 minutes WHAT)

Going undercover was not exactly on your bucket list, especially not as your boss’s wife. 

This unsub is targeting couples at mixer events, and unfortunately their type has been exactly you and Hotch. You had no choice but to agree. 

It’s not that you’re uncomfortable, no, it’s nothing like that. You’re more than comfortable, and that’s the problem. 

You have a raging crush. On your boss. Did you mention he’s your superior? And it’s totally against some unspoken workplace rules to like him or anything further? 

“Y/N?” Hotch knocks on the door. “Are you ready?” 

You had come back to the hotel to change. You needed to be in a red dress, and Hotch in a red tie. 

“Yeah,” you squeak out. “One second.”

You adjust the seams of the dress, fix the collar and smooth out any random wrinkles. It’s one of those dresses you pack as a backup, but is never a first choice for an outfit. You don’t hate it, but you don’t love it either. 

It’s time. 

Slowly, you grab your purse and head to the door, opening it to reveal Hotch. He changed out of his grey suit and into his black one, complete with a red Gucci tie that Rossi gifted him one Christmas. 

He looks hot.

“Wow.”

You think for a second that the word left your lips, but it didn’t. It was Hotch. 

“Thanks?” you laugh. “Are we undercover already?”

“What? No,” he shakes his head. “I’m sorry. You just— You look really nice.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, suddenly bashful. He’s never one to comment on anyone’s appearance, unless of course, Reid gets a haircut. “You too,” you offer, wanting to say it anyway, but now feeling as though it sounds cliché. 

“Thank you,” Hotch chuckles, dipping his head. “Ready?”

As you’ll ever be.

~ ~ ~ 

You hold onto Hotch’s arm like a wife would, leaning into him every few seconds as you both mingle around the event. 

You’ve been married for almost a year. Dating for two. Vacations on the beach are a must. Work hours are crazy. You work even though he makes enough to support you, and he supports your decision to work. 

It’s all so blissfully domestic and too good to be true. You’re going to bask in it for as long as you can, knowing after tonight it’ll all be gone. 

Hotch can sense the unsub approaching, so he squeezes your arm lightly to let you know. 

They approach with a smile, offering you a glass of champagne that you turn down. You and Hotch go through the general details of your relationship, each of you studying the unsub’s expressions as you speak.

The unsub looks for unhappiness in the couples, though, so the one saving grace the two of you have right now is that: happiness.

So, to prove they’re the unsub, you decide to grab Hotch’s face, and kiss him. Right on the lips. Passionately.

Immediately, the unsub recoils, and storms away, clearly angered by the trick you just played on them.

When you pull away, you lift Hotch’s wrist to your lips to speak to Morgan. “They’re headed your way. Definitely the unsub.”

Morgan responds letting you know he heard you -- and saw that kiss.

You drop Hotch’s wrist, knowing Morgan will give you hell for that later, but for now, you’re on cloud nine.

“Aren’t you going to thank me?”

Hotch quirks an eyebrow. “For what?”

You scoff. “For saving your ass!” You playfully smack his chest, unable to hide your smile. 

“Oh, is that what that was?” he grins. “I thought you just wanted to kiss me.”

He’s your boss, your brain reminds you. But you can’t stop the words from tumbling out of your lips. “Maybe it was a bit of both.”

Hotch pulls you in by your waist, and your hands return to their place on his shoulders. 

“In that case,” he says quietly. “Can I kiss you this time?”

You nod. “Yeah. Of course.”

He presses his lips to yours firmly, kissing you like he’s been starving for years. 

“I think,” he says, pausing to kiss you again, “I need to thank you properly.”

“Mhm,” you agree, kissing him again. “How are you going to do that?”

He grins, and you kiss his smile. “I can think of a few things.”

~ ~ ~

Just twenty minutes later, you find yourself being carried bridal style into Hotch’s hotel room. He sets you down on the bed and returns to the door, locking it and putting the Do Not Disturb card in for extra precaution.

“Have you thought of how you’re going to thank me yet?”

“Oh yes,” he grins, grabbing both your hands and standing you up. “And it starts with helping you out of this dress.”

You turn around, silently giving him permission to unzip you. He does so slowly, tenderly, his fingertips brushing your exposed skin and his lips leaving kisses in their wake. On your shoulders, your neck, your cheeks. Everywhere he can reach, even your arms.

He kneels as he pulls the dress down, smiling when it reveals what he had suspected. No underwear.

He helps you step out of the fabric and toss it away, gazing up at you with heated eyes. He takes your hand and kisses each finger, your palm, and your knuckles. 

“You okay?” he asks.

You nod, holding his cheek. “Do you mind if I lay down instead?”

“Not at all,” he smiles. “I want you to be comfortable.”

Once you’re lying on the bed, a pillow underneath your hips, Hotch returns to kissing every inch of your skin. Up your arms and over your collar bones, up your neck and across your face. You’re in a blissful state, just lying there, cherishing this feeling unlike any other.

“Can I taste you?” he asks suddenly.

“Yes,” you reply instantly, whimpering when he presses an open mouthed kiss to your breast.

His lips travel down your stomach. You’re practically aching for his mouth to be on you, and he knows it. He still takes his time. He wants this to be special.

You taste like Heaven and he can’t get enough. His arms wrap around your legs, pulling you into him. He breathes into you, groaning when your hands find their place in his hair, tugging tightly. Hips bucking, you cry out when his tongue delves inside of you. He’s chasing your release more than you are; he’s desperate. He needs to know the taste of you when you let go, when you see stars in his arms, at his mercy.

It doesn’t take long. With a tongue like his and a fire inside of you, it takes mere minutes. You aren’t sure. But you explode.

He soothes you as you come down, breathing hard and shaking, yet still aching.

After a few more kisses, his lips travel upwards again, over your belly button, between your breasts, to your mouth. 

“Thank you,” you say, still trying to catch your breath.

“Thank you,” he replies, putting his weight on either side of you, pressing his body to yours, soothing your shakes.

[crystalsoobin]

synopsis -> falling in love with your best friend is never easy. especially when she has a crappy boyfriend.

pairing -> robin x fem!reader

warnings -> angst w a happy ending, fluff, swearing, crying, mentions of emotional abuse, mention of a slap, kissing, robin being the death of me bc pet names (honey, love).

wc -> 1065 words 😳

note -> this was very much inspired by you belong with me by taylor swift. bc i heard it on the radio today and it made me think of rob :)

robin thought experiencing unrequited love was gonna be the worst part of having a crush on you. but watching you go through hell in a relationship was the worst. especially since she’s your best friend.

you two had been attached to the hip ever since freshman year, when you found yourselves to be the only two students who had signed for an after school clean-up one evening.

talking through the full two hours, it was hard not to become friends. however as you navigated through highschool, you noticed the differences in each other’s interests.

robin joined the school band, you joined the cheer team. robin preferred hanging out while listening to music, you preferred doing homework while listening to music.

but that did not stop the growing friendship — or robin’s feelings — in fact, over the years the two of you got closer. and that’s what made robin’s crush harder to deal with.

she knew she didn’t have a chance with you. you weren’t into girls (or so she thinks), and you have a boyfriend. and a shitty one at that.

no matter how many times you told her you were fine, robin was always there to comfort you when you appeared crying at her door.

you had often confessed your feelings about the stupid jock and what he had done and said to you.

“i feel like he’s ignoring me. he won’t even look at me when i’m talking to him.”

“he talks to me like i’m stupid sometimes.”

“it’s like he thinks i’m his dog that’s supposed to obey his orders without saying a word.”

“he’s so frustrating!”

and robin had told you multiple times that you should break up with him. and every time she did you would just freeze and dismiss her comment.

she didn’t know how much more she could handle. the real reason as to why you didn’t want to break up with him, was that you were so used to it. you couldn’t fathom the thought of not having him by your side. even if he never made you smile anymore.

but today, everything had changed for both you and robin. as she opened the door to her house, you stood there sobbing, as per your weekly routine.

robin instantly tugged you into her arms and let you cry into her shoulder. she closed the door and gently took you up to her room to talk.

“what happened this time?” she asked in what she hoped was a sincere voice.

“i- it’s so stupid.” you cried. robin reached for your hand.

“if it’s making you cry, it’s not stupid. please, you can trust me.” with those words, you took a deep breath and tried to steady your voice.

“we- we were at the library because i told him i wanted to sign out a book before we left school. he wanted to come with me, but i t-told him it would just take a minute,”

robin nodded for you to continue, focusing all her attention on you.

“so, as i was looking for the book, i saw bradley. and i went to speak with him. it was actually quite a nice conversation. he was telling me about his dog and how he had taken him to dayca- sorry, i’ll continue.”

“it’s okay, honey. take your time.” and for some reason, that one word, made you look up at her. you hadn’t seen a look like that in forever. she was fully hanging on to every word you were saying. not looking away. not sighing out of boredom. no, she was actually listening.

and that’s when you realized that robin had always been listening. she never failed to be there for you. never failed to make you smile, make you laugh, make you feel loved.

so you continued, with a small smile, “anyway, i guess he thought i was taking too long so he came in and found us. and he sort of blew up. yelling at us, saying brad was trying to steal me from him, that i looked a little too happy to be talking with someone that wasn’t him. way out of line”

“so, i told him he was being crazy. that i was having a nice conversation with bradley and that was it. he did not like that. then he… then he slapped me across the face. and that’s when I realized it had gotten too far and… i broke up with him. finally.”

“oh my god! are you okay? does it still hurt? i’m gonna kill that son of a bitch.” your best friend was so serious in that moment you wanted to laugh. and you did. “why are laughing? i’m being serious you know?”

you smiled, “i know.”

“he doesn’t deserve you. and you deserve someone way better. like, i don’t even think he knows your favourite colour! you are so amazing and if he can’t see that then he- he’s an ass. you belong with someone who makes you happy, not someone who makes you cry once a week.”

“and who would that be?” you asked knowingly.

“me.” she said without even thinking. “i- i mean… i can help you find someone better. because i’m your best friend, and definitely not someone you would be interested in. that would be weird, because you do not like girls…”

and as much as you never wanted her to stop rambling, your focus on her lips was causing an explosion of butterflies in your tummy, and there was no stopping you from acting on it.

next thing robin knew, your lips were on hers. you were kissing her. and she could not believe it.

she kissed back with the same amount of ferocity, as she grabbed your face for stability. your lips glided against hers so smoothly, she could faint right then and there.

breath getting stuck in your chests you both pulled back, heaving. that was a kiss like you had never experienced before. it actually felt meaningful.

“woah.” you breathed out as robin chuckled,

“i guess that means you liked it?” you nodded. you took her hand and smiled.

“i love you, robin. i’m sorry i didn’t realize it sooner.”

“i love you, too. and it’s okay. as long as you love me now, that’s all that matters.” she kissed your cheek sweetly.

“can i tell you something?”

“anything, love.” your stomach fluttered at her words as you leaned towards her ear and whispered,

“you’re a really good kisser.” you leaned back to see her smug smile.

“i know.”

© crystalsoobin / do not steal

[fairyfuyu]

all dolled up | ryuguji ken

summary: ken loves the way his cock makes you cry, the way your makeup gets all ruined for everyone to see

cw: NSFW 18+ timeskip draken, dom!draken, face fucking, tons of degradation, semi public sex ?, readers a brat :) daddy draken punishes us (yes daddy is used so if that triggers your fight or flight best not read this one), choking, impact play, use of pet names princess and slut (affectionate? lol) also theres no spoilers but if u havent seen the last ep of the anime go watch it bc thats kinda the vibe of the dinner table djxhwjd just read ok

wc: 2.7k

a/n: i am just in love w the idea of someone fucking my face until my makeup is streaming down my face, bonus points if we have to face anyone we know looking like a fucking mess who just got railed in the bathroom <3 also i wrote the majority of this last night tired as fuck so if it doesnt make sense dont even worry abt it

!!!!! MDNI !!!!!

Makeup just wasn’t your thing. You had tried every trend that swept across your social media, bought countless products that you only really used a couple times, but despite this, you just couldn’t get into it. Your winged eyeliner always turned out sad, you could never find the right shade of foundation, so eventually, you had just given up. The last time you really put on makeup was when you graduated from college, mostly because you wanted to look a little more presentable than you usually do since after all, those are the photos you’ll show your children one day, saying “damn, look how hot your mom was when she was younger.” But typically, you were fine taking on the world completely bare-faced.

You were also incredibly lucky to have found yourself a boyfriend that didn’t give a damn how much effort you put into your appearance; the last person you wanted to date was someone who would even think about mentioning how you should wear makeup to make yourself prettier for them. Thankfully, Draken was nothing like that. He loved your attitude of not giving a fuck, and quite frankly thought you were the hottest person alive, so why even need makeup in the first place?

Today, though, was different. Draken and the other higher-ups in Toman had set up a little get-together at this absurdly expensive restaurant as always, and this time Draken asked you to come along. At first, you declined because you weren’t that comfortable around the other guys, but as soon as he mentioned Hinata would also be going, you changed your mind. You never passed up a chance to see Hina; the two of you have gotten exceedingly close ever since you and Draken started dating a year or so ago, and you were so happy to have found another girl dating a Toman member to call a friend.

As you stared in the mirror getting ready for the occasion, you couldn’t help but feel the urge to open your drawer and pull out your makeup bag that rarely sees the light of day. You picked up the tube of mascara, turning it over in your hand a couple times while you thought it over. Maybe eyeshadow and eyeliner would be too much, but a little mascara and a hint of blush couldn’t hurt, right?

You applied the makeup to your eyelashes, careful not to get any on your eyelid. Meanwhile, you heard the shower shut off, immediately followed by your blonde boyfriend emerging. He wrapped the towel around his waist after drying off when he noticed what you were doing. “Are you...putting on makeup?” He asked, not believing what he was seeing.

Screwing the bottle shut, you looked at him in the mirror. “Just a little mascara and some blush, nothing too crazy.” You said, opening the pink compact and grabbing a fluffy brush.

As you swiped the powder over the tops of your cheeks, Draken came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing a kiss into your hair. “You know you don’t need that shit.”

“I know...I just thought since we’re going to a fancy place to eat, might as well look the part, right?” You quickly finished up, smoothing down your straightened hair you spent so long perfecting and turning around, giving him a brief kiss. “Come on, you gotta get dressed; we’re gonna be late if we don’t leave soon.”

The conversation had gotten to a point where you were bored out of your mind. You had your elbow propped up on the table, head rested in your hand while your other hand was placed innocently on Draken’s thigh. He was so caught up in the conversation he hadn’t even noticed you placed it there 15 minutes ago.

“All I’m saying is those guys seem shady as hell.” Your boyfriend spoke, taking a sip of his drink.

“I’m sure they could help us out. Besides, it’d be a lie if you said we didn’t do shady shit either, Ken.” Takemichi spoke up. “Inui seems nice enough.”

Draken just rolled his eyes. Mikey was the one to speak next. “Anyone from 10th gen Black Dragons needs to be looked into thoroughly before we even think about talking with them.”

You shared a bored expression with Hinata, who sat beside you, drumming her fingers on the tablecloth. It’s only been 20 minutes since you’ve gotten here - you haven’t even been served the appetizers and already you were wanting to leave. Of course, you wanted to be supportive of Draken, but then again, there’s a reason you aren’t in Toman.

Staring off mindlessly, you rubbed your thumb across the fabric of your boyfriend’s trousers; what would have been a tender display of affection was turned into something much more lewd in your mind. You couldn’t help your wandering hand graze along the plane of his thigh, closer to something far more interesting than the conversation at hand. Ever so gently, you brushed your fingers against his crotch, immediately feeling him stiffen.

If you didn’t have his attention before, you surely did now.

He shot you a look, one that said don’t even think about it, princess. But you just bat your long eyelashes at him, innocent as ever, continuing your teasing.

You were at the dinner table, with all the execs in Toman; what on earth were you thinking? You were careful not to make anything too obvious, hiding everything beneath the tablecloth hanging off the side of the table, and your movements were impossible to notice to anyone else besides you and Draken. This was so out of character for you; first you decide to wear makeup, and now you’re teasing your boyfriend in public, and purposefully disobeying his silent order to stop? It's as if this side of you had sat dormant all your life, and now for whatever reason, it's deciding to take over.

If it weren’t for the escalating voices traveling across the round table, you would’ve been able to hear Draken’s quiet grunthe released as he shifted in his seat, trying anything to get away from your teasing fingers.

But it wasn’t enough, you continued to play with him, even going so far as to cup your hand over his bulge, squeezing a little and sighing at how nicely he hardened beneath you.

Before you could make another move, he tilted his head down by your ear. “Bathroom, now. I’ll be right behind you.”

His voice was low and the command went straight to your pussy. You waited a moment before sliding out from your chair. You rested a hand on the back of your seat as everyone looked up at you. “I need to use the restroom.” You stated to no one in particular.

Mikey nodded, gesturing with the glass in his hand. “It’s back by the bar.”

“Do you want me to go with you?” Hina asked sweetly.

You shook your head. “No, thanks though.”

Your feet carried you far to the back of the restaurant, finding yourself in the private family restroom and leaning against the door. Heart racing, you couldn’t help but smile at your actions tonight. You enjoyed playing this little game with Draken, and you knew he was going to punish you in some way, which you never denied.

However, you didn’t know exactly what kind of punishment was waiting for you.

Back at the table, Draken barely spoke another word as he waited for enough time to pass for no suspicion to arise. Finally, Hina was the one to inquire about your absence. “___’s been gone a while, maybe I should go check on her...” She thought aloud, about to get up out of her chair to make sure her friend was alright.

Draken stopped her, though. “No, I’ll go see how she’s doing. She's not been feeling 100% herself lately.” He spoke at a volume he thought was quiet enough for only Hina to hear, but he was mistaken.

“You finally knocked her up, eh Kennie?” Mikey teased across the table.

He shot his friend a threatening look. “Like I’d be the dumbass to knock someone up.”

You waited patiently in the bathroom, back resting against the door as you waited for Draken. After a few minutes, you finally heard a few light knocks on the door. “Princess?”

You barely had a chance to unlock the door and he was already inside with you, taking you by the shoulders and switching places with you, forcing you back against the door. “You think it’s funny to pull that shit in front of my friends, princess? You think just because you’re cute you can get away with that?” He asked, so close to you your noses were practically touching.

Strong fingers found your neck without missing a beat, quick to squeeze just tight enough to have you dizzy. “I asked you a question, princess.”

“Ken!” You gasped, holding onto his arm as if your life depended on it.

His grip tightened, and you whimpered in response. “What, you don’t want me to leave too many marks on you this time? Don’t wanna go back to the table looking like a little whore?”

“Daddy…” You croaked, digging your nails into his flesh.

He paused for a moment, letting go of his grip. “On your knees, now.” He demanded, nimble fingers working at undoing the belt around his waist.

Your hands reached up meekly to aid him, but he swatted them away. “Don’t touch, you don’t deserve to touch me. You’re just my little fucktoy, got it?”

“‘M sorry daddy,” you whined, placing your hands on your thighs, entirely exposed from your short skirt riding up.

He shoved his pants and briefs down, revealing his hard dick. Wrapping his long fingers around it, he brought it to your face, tapping his head on either cheek. He finally tapped it against your lips. “Open.”

You did as he told, opening just enough for him to slide his cock in and immediately wrapping your lips around his girth. Mindful to keep your teeth tucked away, you gagged a little when he forced his length into your mouth, tip immediately hitting the back of your throat.

Draken wasted no time in finding a harsh pace of fucking into your face, making sure to edge himself further and further down your throat with every thrust. He grabbed a handful of your hair, jerking your head back and forth along his shaft. You were completely under his control, useless to the incessant speed of his long cock pumping in and out of you.

“Relax for me, princess.” He pushed your head further down along his dick so your nose touched his pelvis. He was fully in your throat now, contracting around his painfully hard dick and causing tears to prick at your eyes. “Fuck, princess, you feel so good around me.”

The pressure was too much; you grabbed onto his hips and removed him from your mouth. Instantly, you felt a heavy hand against your face, whipping your head to the side.

“Is my dick too much for my little slut, huh?” He asked darkly, taking his cock covered in spit and running in across your lips again. It may have been sick, but you absolutely loved when he talked to you this way. Your panties were already hopelessly soaked before this, but as soon as his hand came in contact with your face, you could’ve came right then and there.

You were grateful for the second he gave your throat a rest, because as soon as your lips parted, he was inside you again. Back to the same relentless pace as before, though this time your throat was much more sensitive from the previous deep throating. The tears were welling up in your eyes again; you forced them shut when his grip on your hair tightened, sending streams of your tears down your face.

“Shit, princess, you look so pretty.” Your boyfriend moaned above you. You looked up at him, glassy eyed and makeup running down your face. He brought his free hand up to wipe your damp cheek. “Such pretty little tears.”

You tried bobbing your head along his dick, but as soon as you started, he placed both hands on the back of your head, forcing himself into your throat once again.

“That’s it, princess, take it, take my fucking cock like the slut you are.” He groaned, feeling his dick twitch in your throat. You swallowed around him, loving the whimper that pulled out of him. “You’re gonna make me cum if you keep doing that.”

You swallowed again but he quickly pulled out of your throat, fucking himself into your mouth a few more times. “Gonna cum all over that pretty face of yours-” He said, taking his cock out of your mouth entirely, harshly pumping himself over your face as you waited beneath him, tongue lolled out of your mouth and staring up at him with hungry eyes.

Before you knew it, his thick, hot spurts of cum were shooting out of his dick, covering your face, some landing in your mouth. You licked up whatever landed around your mouth, swallowing his seed down with the biggest smile on your face. You kitten licked at his sensitive tip, making sure to clean up any spit or cum that dribbled out of his slit.

Draken looked down at you. “What a fucking slut.” He chuckled, putting himself back in his pants.

“Yeah, but I’m your fucking slut, daddy.” You teased back at him, getting up from the cold tile floor and walking over to the sink. You were mortified when you saw yourself in the mirror. Covered in your boyfriends cum, black tears streaming all the way from your eyes down to your naked clavicle, your hair that you had spent so much time straightening now a rat’s nest. “Draken!” You screeched, now realizing the consequences of your actions.

“You asked for this, princess.” He said, reaching for some paper towels for you to clean up with.

He helped wipe away his cum, but the mascara smudged beneath your eyes was a whole other story. You desperately tried scrubbing the dark tears off your skin, but as soon as you tried cleaning up the mess around your eyes, you only seemed to make matters worse.

“Can’t you just wash it all off?” Your boyfriend suggested.

You shook your head. “It’s makeup, it doesn’t come off easily, you’re supposed to use makeup remover. Shit…” You said, looking back in the mirror and trying your best to clean up the smudges to look halfway presentable. Despite your efforts, though, it still was very evident what had happened in the bathroom.

Draken kissed your temple. “I still think you look hot.”

“Of course you do.” You said, rolling your eyes at him. You pulled your skirt back down over your ass and thighs, smoothed your hair down a little, and put on a brave face as you fled the restroom, your boyfriend following closely behind.

Sitting back down at the crowded table, you avoided any and all eye contact and instead found solace in the plethora of appetizers waiting for your return.

Silence had fallen over the table as Draken took his seat next to you, all the boys (and Hina) staring at your disheveled appearance. You could feel their eyes burning into you, but not a word was spoken.

Draken grabbed the bottle of wine in front of him and turned to you, smiling at how cute you looked having just been destroyed in the restroom. He glanced around the table filled with his friends. “More wine, anyone?”

tags: @erxnslut @souyawn @toallmyhusbandos

© 2021 honeyspalette. do no repost my copy, modify, or repost my work <3

[oinkawa-bb]

first time dads!haikyuu pt.2

request: Hi! I just read your Haikyuu as first time dads and it's so cute! Would you mind writing another one with Iwaizumi, Suna, Atsumu and Osamu? I'm looking forward to seeing more of your writing. Have a nice day! -anon

note: thank u lovely anon for being my first request!!🥺❤️ i enjoyed writing this and i hope you enjoy reading it uwu <33 i really hope i did the inarizaki characters justice b/c i’ve just recently gotten to know them!! owo here is dad!iwa, suna, atsumu, osamu 

mentions/topics: pregnancy, domesticity, timeskip, female reader insert

part one (daichi, kuroo, oikawa)

part three (tsukki, akaashi, yams, kenma)

☀︎—hajime iwaizumi

iwa and you have been trying for months

and he’s been super supportive and comforting when each test comes back negative :/

but this one day, you feel different

and he’s sitting on the ground outside the bathroom door just trying to offer positive affirmations bc he’s waiting for you to finish taking the test

but when the door opens, he sees your face and just knows

you don’t even need to say anything bc he already has a HUGE grin on his face and is pulling you in for a hug

he definitely kneels down to plant kisses on your tummy

your attempts to stop him don’t work they never do

soon to be dad iwa is super protective and cautious

definitely feels most comfortable when he can hold or touch you some way when in public

he likes to place his hand gently around your waist or he’ll grip your hand if there’s crowds

sometimes he’s a little too firm in his affection, and you have remind him to lighten up to which he becomes a lil flustered

“hajime...i can’t feel my hand,,”

but when you do go into labor, he whips out this midwife-like knowledge out of nowhere

similar to daichi, iwa became super well informed by researching a lot (but just in secret, you really had no clue)

he watched videos, read through other people’s experiences, and asked a bunch of people for their input

and now he’s super helpful to you through your contractions in the car and at the hospital

he’s calm and firm, supporting you physically to the hospital and emotionally through the labor

but when iwa’s baby finally makes their appearance

he just becomes all ushy-gushy and weak with watery eyes

his hands are pressed together and placed at his mouth in awe when he finally sees you hold his child

and then when he finally gets to hold the baby,

boy oh boy

iwaizumi actually cries a lot more than either of you expected

he’s so smitten with his newborn, and he can’t stop internally & externally praising your strength for carrying and birthing his child 

like he sees you in a totally different light, and he thought it was impossible but he’s fallen even more in love with you now

and he can’t wait to take care of his new family🥺

☀︎—suna rintarou

suna definitely didn’t see this coming,,,

but nonetheless when he processes the meaning behind the bun you placed in the oven, he doesn’t feel anything but sheer excitement

suna’s actually wanted to have children with you for awhile

but he’s never admitted it out loud uwuwuwu

he holds you firmly in his arms and caresses your hair gently for a long time, and you have to ask him if everything’s ok🥺

but it’s literally because he’s lowkey tearing up and at a loss for words

after a few moments tho, he collects himself and slowly presses light kisses all over your face

“i’m just really happy.”

at night, he refuses to sleep when he knows that you’re struggling to sleep due to discomfort

so he’ll lay awake with you and mumble mindlessly about the future he sees with you until both of you doze off

sometimes he just sees you standing at the counter or something and he can’t resist bc ur just so cute!!!!

he’ll quietly come in for a back hug,,,

and he’ll place his chin on your head and his arms around your belly and close his eyes and just stand there for as long as he wants until... 

”rin.... i need to pee”

he’ll let go then probably

but when the day finally comes, his mind is literally all over the place and he’s trying to be calm on the outside

in the car, your breathing is getting heavier and sharper, and he’s lowkey a little panicked but he won’t stop reassuring you for one second

“hey, look at me, you’re okay, it’s gonna be okay”

he’s definitely in pain himself seeing you in labor,

but he’ll be by your bedside, gently holding your hand and letting you squeeze his as hard as you need to

but it’s all worth it when he gets to see his baby with his own eyes,,

when he sees you cooing softly and holding his dear child against your chest, silent tears fall out of his eyes

suna swears he’s never seen a more beautiful sight than this

☀︎—atsumu miya

atsumu comes home from an exhausting day of work, 

and right as he walks through the door, he’s whining your name, about to ramble about practice...

but then he sees a tiny pair of volleyball shoes at the front,,,

and he’s like... o w o

even though he’s tired out of his mind, his brain works quickly, and he’s connecting the dots in his head

you’re just standing there at the end of the hallway all giggly n cute

he raises his eyebrow and then his sly smile turns into a huge one as he runs up to you,

he clutches your face in his hands and is peppering kisses all over you to the point where you have to physically pry him away

basically immediately, atsumu starts using little nicknames for the baby, but they change almost every day LOL

he also definitely downloaded the pregnancy tracking app (even though? you already have one? and it’s unnecessary for him to have it too? he doesn’t care tho)

he checks it every day before work, lets you know what size the baby is, and kisses your bump aka his angel/nugget/muffin/dumpling/etc. before leaving

“y/nnnn my lil’ angel is the size of a bell pepper today”

“atsumu... i know.. i already checked”

atsumu also boasts so much when he’s sharing the news with his teammates and family members

like osamu was somewhat looking forward to being an uncle until atsumu hit him with the daily updates of your cravings and symptoms and how the baby kicked when he placed his hand on your belly and on and on

but he also just wants to make you feel hella loved and wanted during your pregnancy

he can sense that your body image and self-esteem sometimes takes a major hit

so it’s not uncommon for him to be showering you in compliments nonstop

but honestly it’s also just because he thinks ur even hotter... if that was possible....

this is embarassing but i feel like he has you saved as “hot mama” in his phone or smth

and then the day arrives, and the whole drive there, he’s going “oh shit” in his head over and over but he’s playing this cool demeanor on the outside

actually, this carries over into the hospital too, but he just decides that he’ll do whatever he can to pamper the hell out of you & make you feel less uncomfortable

upon first sight of the baby,

there’s no other words to describe how he feels other than his heart just melting on the spot. 

it’s game over for him because he knows that he’ll literally do anything for you and this precious baby now

anything. (prepare to be spoiled rotten)

☀︎—osamu miya

osamu returns from work one day,

and you’re just at the stove cooking, so he comes up behind you, snaking a hand up the bottom of your shirt to caress your bare waist while whispering his greeting in your ear

but then you wince when he touches your stomach

and he’s like “oh?”

he’s super puzzled so he intently observes you as you bite your lip and start to blush

“i was going to tell you this over dinner but i just can’t hold it in,”

osamu kind of already knows where this is headed but he watches as you reach for your back pocket and pull out a pregnancy test neatly tucked in a ziploc bag

he’s been waiting for this moment to come his whole life (osamu a sucker for domesticity imo) so he’s literally internally screaming for joy!!!

but outwardly his smile conveys it all, and he’s chuckling as he pulls you close by the waist to plant a kiss to your lips

during your pregnancy, osamu becomes overwhelmingly nurturing

it’s almost like you’re the baby ???

like he cooks even more for you and is always whipping something up asap when you mention your cravings

what if he made onigiri with the foods you crave as the filling

he does research on ways to quell nausea and discomfort and goes out to buy herbs and ingredients that would make you feel better

basically, he wants to take the best care of you possible my baby

at night, he’s going to let you use him in any way to sleep better

most of the times, you want him pressed against your back and his head nuzzling your neck

he whispers soft and sweet declarations of his love for you and the baby when he thinks you’re asleep you’re not

ok but when the day comes,,,

osamu is just so ready for the baby to arrive that he’s as cool and collected as ever

you’re definitely not tho, and he can sense it, so he’ll find every way to calm you down

meaning,,, he’ll play calming spa music in the hospital room, massage your lower back, gently repeat encouraging affirmations, etc, etc.

osamu takes care of you so well uwuwuwu

and when the baby makes an appearance, you bet osamu leaps to dad duty right away

he’s emotional but clear-minded, and he’s already mentally planning his life with you back at home with the baby🥺

he can see the future with you and this sweet baby for eternity and he’s so ready <3333

[ackerfics]

hange and their best friend (reader) "platonically" flirt with one another, they use pet names for each other, making others think they're together unintentionally. until reader finds an s/o, not knowing hange actually likes them

she — hange zoe

— hange zoe x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: angst ??? the stinging feeling you get when you see someone you love, love someone else

— summary: hange's best friend found love in the form of autumn while hange associates her with all of the seasons.

— word count: 2.5k

— notes: i love hange but i hate myself for writing something that hurts them :<<< they're my first love in aot and it pains me to imagine them hurting in any sort of way (which is probably the reason why i bawled my heart out in chap 132). this little fic hit too close at home for me bc it's exactly what i felt one time during high school. it's fucking traumatizing and istg, i don't want to relive falling in love with a friend again, it's like the most satisfying way to hurt, too. happy reading tho :<<<

reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

She embodies everything positive in Hange’s eyes.

She is spring — the bursting of blossoms under the tendrils of sunlight seeping between the spaces of the trees in the woods. Every time Hange closes their eyes, they are reminded of how she signifies every single flower they ever know. She makes them feel everything at once — see every color at once in a single frame. There is no space for artistic abilities in Hange’s calloused, mismatched hands but when it comes to her, they can create a myriad of paintings encapsulating her beauty at every stroke of a brush. Her laughs, her flowery perfume that doesn’t hurt their nose, her smiles that are as radiant as the early morning Sun — are ingrained in their brain. She brings forth the butterflies that Hange carefully imprisoned in their ribs, the monarchs’ wings already seeping through the cracks at every joke she makes, reaching to their heart until every beat swayed to the sound of her giggles.

“Hange, the love of my life, there you are!”

Hange turned around with a huge smile on their lips. Their conversation with Levi came to an abrupt stop, with the shorter man mumbling along the lines of ‘here we go again’. The small smile on his face spoke otherwise while watching two of his closest friends hug each other as if they didn’t live together in an apartment right outside of campus. It was such a mystery that Hange could be so comfortable around someone to the point of playfully kissing their neck in public, followed by their best friend’s melodious laughs soon after. However, Levi couldn’t be fooled. He knew the glint in the brown-haired person’s eyes. The downturn of their eyebrows when their best friend wasn’t looking. The longing was apparent when she was talking to someone across the room.

The idiot going by the name Hange Zoe was irrevocably in love with their best friend, [Name] [Last Name].

“What is it, baby?” Hange asked vibrantly, glasses reflecting the equally excited girl in their arms. “Didn’t know your class dismissed this early. What happened?”

“Nothing. Our professor announced that we should visit a museum for our finals.” She then mimicked the haughty tone of her Art History professor, straightening her back to make herself appear taller. “Choose a painting or a sculpture and trace down its history and attach your critique in the final output. If I see anyone half-assing this paper, I will not hesitate to give a failing grade that will make you retake this class. I know you lot don’t want to see me again for another semester and I don’t want to see you again, too. So, prove to me you’re worth your standing in this course.” She cleared her throat. “What he said.”

Hange whistled. “Dang, I’m happy that I didn’t follow you to the Arts Department. Your professor sounds like a complete asshole.” They chortled the next second. “Sounds like my mom, to be honest.”

“At least your mom makes a bomb bento box.”

“Yeah, I guess, you’re right.” Hange then nuzzled their face in her hair. “But your bento boxes taste much more delicious — I could eat them all day. Can I be your partner so that you’ll cook for me every day?”

“I’ve already taken the position of your wife the moment I agreed to be your roommate in university, sweetheart. And I cook for you every single day so you don’t have to ask to be my partner because you already are.”

Hange looked smug at her reply, the heat in their cheeks traveling to their ears. “That was a rhetorical question but hearing those words come out of your mouth, it’s making me feel things.”

“Oh? What are those things?”

The brown-haired person snickered under their breath, glancing at Levi who was now looking at the two of them in that lazy way of his that might come off as him being annoyed again. In reality, he was only waiting for the two to finally stop flirting to recognize he was there. His daily job of being a third-wheel should’ve started fifteen minutes ago but Hange wouldn’t let [Name] go. Hange turned back to the expectant girl. “I don’t want Levi to hear what I’m about to say. Just expect something back at the apartment,” they joked, a cheeky smile tugging at their lips.

[Name] laughed heartily. “I’m looking forward to that, gorgeous.”

“I’m still here, you know?” Levi dryly made himself known. He huffed and turned around in the direction of the university restaurant. “Come on, lovebirds, let’s have lunch. Oh, and [Name]?” When he heard her little hum of acknowledgment, Levi slightly turned around to meet his friend’s eyes with his jaded ones. “It’s your turn to buy me a drink. Make it a venti today.” She only blinked at him, giving him no choice but to resort to that dumb thing she always asked. “Please can I have a venti this time? I got you and Hange a venti last time so this makes us even.”

“Ooh, make mine a venti, too, baby!” Hange squeezed their best friend’s waist.

“Anything for my sweetheart.”

“Again, I’m right here, you know.”

Just the thought of that little scenario hurts Hange.

But as much as the pain comes in the package, she is still summer in their eyes.

The Sun can’t compare to the brilliance of her smile. Kind smiles and gentle touches under the warm rays of the summer heat. Her scent is yellow to Hange — so bright and warm that they don’t care how long they bask in her presence, never caring if they get burned because it feels so right to be within her orbit. She urges them to feel so loved and so special, tender caresses of her warmth cascading down every vein until it reaches their heart. The cerulean waters of the sea hold nothing against the beauty of her grins, brown eyes searching for her every time of the day no matter how ethereal the world painted itself to be. Viewing the sights with rose-colored glasses is what they may call it but for Hange, it’s simply her. Someone once said that summer brings forth a paradise where blue covers everything in its wake, the cry of the seagulls reverberating in the distance, and the scent of ice cream flickers in the breeze. For Hange, summer is in the form of pretty close-lipped smiles, of late-night movie marathons on a worn-out couch, of bento boxes filled with their favorites, of a scent so saccharine, and a loyal friend.

A friend.

Of course. No matter where Hange goes, that word haunts them. Hidden beneath their smiles, their jokes, their longing, and admiring stares. It’s a reminder of where they stand in this limbo they created. At one point, they thought that line had been crossed only for it to be established again in permanent ink. And before they know it, Hange is tumbling down in a spiral, along with a change of seasons.

Fall is where everything started.

The orange glow of the leaves created the perfect view as she sipped on her tall cup of warm coffee. The blissful sigh that came soon after warmed up Hange, even though they were seated in front of each other in the outside tables of the small cozy café where Levi was working at. The chill brought by the autumn wind caused both of them to shiver in their layered clothing. The way she nuzzled more into her scarf made Hange coo, reaching out to pinch her cheek affectionately. Autumn was both their favorite season, how it made them resort to the comfort and warmth their sweaters bring, or how they cuddle in each other’s beds with the air conditioner blasting despite the cold. It was also a season where Hange could admire her in their hoodie, a piece of clothing that swallows her whole because she’s so small compared to their lanky figure.

Hange remembered being called out here because she wanted to talk about something. Now that they thought about it, her cheeks appear to be glowing more than usual and she kept glancing inside the café where Levi was busy telling his coworker how to make the new drink. Hange even went as far as following her gaze but they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary other than Levi sighing in that stressful way of his that always made them snicker. They turned back to their Sun, who was once again in a daze while staring at the clear windows of the café. “So,” they prolonged the syllable, “how’s life going, darling? I know we’re living in the same apartment but I just can’t help but ask you this because it seems like you’re always in a daze these days.”

A pause made the breeze’s call known.

“Hey, Hange, have you ever been in love?”

That spread the chill even more inside Hange’s chest. She called them by their name. Not sweetheart nor big spoon. The reality washed over Hange like a pail of freezing water.

“W-What?” Damn, they couldn’t keep the stutter off their words.

She turned her head to them, eyes so soft and smile so beautiful that made Hange breathless for one second. The butterflies dwindled, losing their iridescent wings when they realized that look wasn’t reserved for them anymore. “I thought about it,” she murmured, rubbing her numbing fingertips on the warm cup. “I have never fallen in love with anyone before. Sure, I love you and all our friends but I’ve never stopped and thought about how someone can look like starlight in front of me. But recently,” again, that pretty smile that pierced Hange’s chest, “I never knew that it could hit me that unexpectedly.”

Hange grinned despite the pounding of her chest. “So, who’s the lucky person?”

She chuckled, going back to staring at the interior of the café. “I told Levi to lay off on scolding her but he never listens, says she’ll never grow a backbone if he’s being considerate on her.”

Now, they’re confused because the only people manning the counter as she spoke was Levi (and she would never fall in love with Levi, seeing as they grew up together like siblings rather than the childhood friends that they are) and a strawberry blonde who looked like Levi’s become their worst nightmare. It took Hange a full minute to process that the person she’s been staring at was never their mutual friend, but the strawberry blonde who looked up towards their direction and waved with a pretty blush on their cheeks. She waved back with the same shyness, leaving Hange dumbfounded. “Wait, the person you’re in love with is—”

“Yeah, it’s her.”

Suddenly, Hange understands why she’s starting to like autumn.

It reminds her of the girl’s hair, which she gushes about smelling like coconut. It reminds her of the girl’s preferred perfume, how it smells so much like cinnamon, something that she sometimes puts in her autumn drinks because in her words, ‘it’s the perfect season rather than winter’. It reminds her of the girl’s hugs, the way both of them fit with each other like lost puzzle pieces.

But as the seasons change, feelings of long-term pining will always be constant.

“Are you okay, though?” Erwin asked them, blue eyes reflecting their pathetic faux smile. He pushed the plate of pasta to them since Erwin had an idea that Hange wasn’t eating that much now. It also worried [Name].

“Yeah, four-eyes, I know you’re not doing that great and I’m saying this in the friendliest way possible because we’re worried now,” Levi reminded them, sipping on his tea with slightly narrowed eyes. “You always decline whenever we want to bring you to somewhere, to the point of leaving Nanaba on voicemail. You always answer at the first ring. Look here, shitty four-eyes,” the way Levi enunciated the nickname made Hange slowly turn their head to him, face void of the smile they were known for, “shouldn’t you be happy for her? [Name] gained the courage to confess and you’re here moping when you should’ve been supportive—”

“And what of my feelings, Levi?”

That made Levi blink and feel like an asshole.

Then, the dam broke.

“I’ve been with her all this time, you’ve seen that. You witnessed how this shy girl opened up to an extroverted idiot and became one of her best friends during high school. It feels like I can’t fucking breathe because I always thought we were meant to be. When she was lonely, I was there to comfort her. When she got a bad grade on an exam, I was the one who knows what flavors of ice cream she wants or how she eats them together like a fucking milkshake. Every day, I never expected her to look my way like she looks at her girlfriend right now. It fucking hurts. It feels so empty to know that I’m not the one she fell in love with. What did I lack? Should I be sweeter and gentler like that girl? Or dainty whenever I eat like she is? Be girly and dress up like a doll? Fuck, I can’t even bring myself to hate her girlfriend. She’s so nice and kind and sweet, anything I’m not.” Hange buried their hands in their hair, making it messier than it was.

“I just want [Name] to love me and make things wonderful. Why isn’t Fate on my side this time?

“Why didn’t she choose me?”

Tears were now drifting down like snowflakes.

“Hange,” Erwin murmured.

“Look, sunshine, it’s snowing!”

A voice catches their attention. A strawberry blonde cheers the words with glee painted in her eyes. Beside her is the subject of the trio’s conversation, the subject of a brown-haired person’s affections. Her eyes are taking in the beauty that is her girlfriend. She looks so pretty in love — how her eyes crinkled at the corners and how snow clung on her eyelashes as if she is a fairy straight from a fairy tale Hange loves when she was a kid. Her girlfriend takes her hand and pulls her to the restaurant where the trio is watching from the windows. Gray and blue irises slide over a somber bespectacled person, gauging their reaction though their face never gives anything away.

“I’m right behind you, Petra. I just took the time to admire you because you’re so pretty under the snow.”

“Stop it! You’re prettier!”

“Did you know that seeing the first snow of the year together with the person you love, your relationship will rival that of eternity?”

“Then, I’m happy I get to see this first snow with you, sunshine.”

“Me, too, angel.”

Hange smiles under a steady stream of tears. “I’m happy for her. I’m happy she found happiness even if it’s not with me.”

The chill blows inside the warm walls of the restaurant the moment the door opens, [Name]’s joyous greetings for her best friends bringing smiles to two of them. Her eyes drift to brown ones before turning to Petra to ask for a pack of tissues since Hange’s tears are still visible. Hange watches the commotion with a small smile, the chill spreading through them like a snowstorm.

Winter is here.

general taglist:

@angelofthorr

[stargaze-issei]

— 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝 + 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧 !

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; karasuno and fukurodani react to their manager doing the body count/bodyody audio tik tok ! [insp by this tik tok]

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫���; crack(?

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; suggestive themes, maybe a little swearing i can't remember ajaksjq.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; the trend it's to put pictures of all the people you've slept with, in case anyone doesn't know!!

karasuno !

-> it was a joke, it wasn’t supossed to get out of the thrid year managers gc.

-> the girls found it hilarious and was a good conversation topic for hours, discussing who you put or didn’t put.

-> they knew, of course, it was fake. you hadn’t slept with oikawa, KYOUTANI, BOKUTO, tendou, atsumu, TERUSHIMA and OSAMU.

-> it was SO obvious it was a joke for them that nobody felt the need to point it out.

-> they just said things like “the most quiet are the worst ones” “OMG DETAILS ABOUT THE TWINS!!” “did terushima yk,, made a good use of his percing” because they KNEW nothing was real.

-> until tanaka and sugawara asked kiyoko for her phone to watch some videos of the new play they were trying.

-> and misaki, from johzenji, sent a “forget about teru— 🤢 can’t even say it,, Y/N I WANNA HEAR ABOUT BOKUTO!!! ik man’s  p a c k i n g”

-> tanaka looks at suga and suga looks at tanaka and they’re like .......tf

-> suga’s finger “slips” and they see the other messages until finally they reach your video.

-> you’re there looking pretty as usual and above your head reads “seems like were showing our body counts with this sound? here it’s mine 🤪”

-> tanaka is about to say “it can be what we’re thinking” but when OIKAWA’S picture appears both their jaws hit the floor.

-> nishinoya sees them and ofc he wants to know what’s so shocking, so he gets closer.

-> he drags hinata too, and shoyo’s like “that’s the great king!! play it again!! play it again!!”

-> fyi: suga paused the video because wOW and they don’t know who’s left in your video.

-> sugawara looks straight in the eye at nishinoya, going “keep hinata, kageyama and yamaguchi away and bring the team” with the MOST SERIOUS EXPRESSION

-> noya is lowkey scared??? like wtf??? but does as he’s told bc suga seems super intense.

-> kiyoko and yachi left to fill the bottles and pick some needed implements from the club room, you had classes for a few more minutes, therefore, there was nobody to stop them.

-> once the rest of the team, including tsukishima because everyone seemed to have forgotten he was a first year too, is together, suga plays again the video, while the littlest ones watch from afar in curiosity.

-> the silence, you will never hear them in a more tense silence.

-> they read what’s your tiktok about, daichi’s eyes go O.O, asahi goes RED, nishinoya seemed to be ready to FIGHT THEM ALL, ennoshita awkwardly laughs, even tsukishima blushes a little.

-> then oikawa appears. EVEYRONE’S EYES ARE FULLY OPEN AND NOYA LET’S OUT A GROAN???

-> but when kyoutani shows up they’re in SO much shock they kinda forget oikawa before, and daichi whispers an “oh god”

-> then it’s BOKUTO’S TURN and tsukishima just stops functioning. asahi is static on his place contemplating, withouth being able to form a coherent thought.

-> suga highkey wants the tea.

-> tendou feels like a betray to asahi, tanaka and tsukishima. noya, just for a second, wonder what was that like.

-> ATSUMU AND OSAMU FUCKING MIYA AND THEY EXPLOTE.

-> THE EXPLOTE LIKE WHAT????? WAS IT AT THE SAME TIME???? Y/N?¡¡¡¿¿1

-> they aren’t ready for the cherry on the top at the end, a picture of terushima sticking his tongue out, sweaty after a match, SMOKING HOT, and it’s not a picture he posted to his social medias or anything.

-> it’s only suga, and daichi a little bit, who realize that if that picture isn’t public, then either he send it to you or YOU TOOK  IT.

-> that’s when you walk in the gym, just to say hi before going to change.

-> the first year are playing among each other and you are like ????

-> they don’t even notice you’re there so you go nearer to see what they’re watching. and you see the picture of tersuhima yukie, from fukurodani, once sent asking misaki WHY her kouhais where that hot. it was also the only picture you had of him and the one you used in you video the day before.

-> the phone in suga’s hands seems familiar and... that’s kiyoko’s

-> “Y/N” screams asahi when he sees  you and the rest looks like they saw a ghost.

-> a second of silence goes before everyone blows in questions and you just hear names between bambling, “OIKAWA MNASNANPGDF” “MANASKL BODY COUNT ASLKLAS” “MAD DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

-> and daichi makes himself heard despite the screams.

-> “y/n, i know you’re 18 and capable of making your own decisions, but we have to talk about... physical relationships, with our rival teams”

-> kiyoko arrives and quickly puts two and two together and asks yachi to go check on the first years.

-> she looks at you and sees you like WHAT TF DO I DO and nods and say “you shouldn’t have gone through my phone, no matter how curious you are, sugawara-san” COLD AS ICE ISTG.

-> AND SHE CONTINUES “what who y/n does or doesn’t do on her free time is none of your business, all of you, if she decides to get together with anyone it’s just up to her. you should be ashamed of yourself, specially the third years. you weren’t just violating y/n’s privacy, but mine, kaori’s, yukie’s and misaki’s. it may have been a joke, or not, but it doesn’t give you the right. if you ever do something like this again, we will be talking with coach ukai and takeda sensei” SHE GRABS YOUR ARM, TURNS AROUND, CALLS YACHI AND YOU THREE LEAVE LIKE QUEENS????

-> once you’re in the club room, both you and kiyoko start laughing because the team was FROZE in place. not even daichi was so scary.

-> the team then apologizes to both and send an audio to the groupchat too, and never bring the subject uo again.

-> still, they all wonder everyday if you really did or not.

-> and of course, they get so defensive when they see any of the boys in the video it’s hilarious to you and the other managers.

— fukurodani !

-> damn yukie making up dares that always ended up bad for either you or kaori.

-> mostly you doe.

-> at a sleepover, she was like let’s make fake body count vids and who falls asleep first has to show them tomorrow at practice!!! it will be fun!!!

-> you accepted because you usually fell asleep after one of them did but that time it was like they gave you a sleeping pill because you fell like a rock after a few hours.

-> as to why you were there, the day after, about to go ask the team if you should post it.

-> you list consisted on kenma, kita, sakusa, daichi, and just for the fun of it, konoha.

-> the girls call konoha aside so he doesn't ruin the prank, and you proceed.

-> "hey guys, should i post this?? i’m not sure if i look good enough to be seen by the world” bokuto practically yells at you that you always look pretty before taking your phone from your hands.

-> “why don’t you ask yukie or kaori?” asks akaashi, that was a question you hand’t thought about and by pure luck, you were saved by bokuto yelling at the team to come and see what you’ve done.

-> konoha is about to head their way and yukie just grabs his arm like “no ❤️"

-> and nobody can contradict yukie’s no so he has no choice but to stay.

-> anyways

-> the team gather around bokuto, who is about to press play. at first it’s just your face, and everyone agree you look pretty.

-> but then they read “did anyone say body count? ;)” and they look at each other like ......what

-> washio leans to stop the video because he genuinely doesn’t know what body count is, sarukui explains it a little too loud, grinning, and washio goes "oh–"

-> thanks to sarukui’s explanation bokuto confirms his idea because one part of him did think it was how many people you’ve killed.

-> they press play again and kenma appears and bokuto just stares, doesn’t react.

-> akaashi’s eyes widened and he GASPS, washio can’t hide his disappointment mostly because why would you make this video and then show it to them.

-> when kita shows up bokuto lets out a surprised squeak, along with washio that’s just question your and his whole existences-

-> sarukui is smirking, his complete expression yells “way to go y/n!!!”

-> sakusa comes as a shock to every one of them, even sarukui loses the grin for a bit.

-> “how did you manage to...?” whispers akaashi, half amazed, half grossed.

-> bokuto then has to pause it for a little to keep his composure, he looks at your like WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME GO THROUGH THIS

-> but when they resume it and daichi welcomes him he thinks it just can get any worse.

-> washio is like “isn’t that karasuno’s–?”

-> “HELL YEAH IT IS” SHOUTS SARUKUI AND THE GIRLS BEHIND YOU LAUGH SO HARD BECAUSE HE IS SO PROUD OF YOU.

-> the rest is like 🧍‍♂️ while sarukui is SO happy for you LMAO.

-> it’s at the end when no one smiles. konoha’s picture smiles at them and bokuto just stops the video to look at him, only a few meters away.

-> he looks at the picture and then at konoha and so on.

-> can’t get his mind around it????? lowkey no one can.

-> akaashi isn’t even blinking and his eyes are concerningly open, washio is regretting all his past choices that led to this moment.

-> sarukui death stares at konoha. no more fun sarukui, he crossed the line.

-> kaori and yukie are wheezing WHEEZING I SAY and konoha is so confused.

-> his teammates look like dogs about to attack but he hasn’t done anything to upset them?? has he??

-> like robots, akaashi and bokuto get up and walk towards konoha. a part of you tells you to protect him but... what are they going to do tho...

-> “you’re out of the team” THEY SAY AT THE SAME TIME AND ALL AND KONOHA GOES WHAT

-> your co-managers can’t even breath istg NO HELP

-> you then intervine trying to keep konoha in the team lmao “IT’S FAKE GUYS!! A PRANK!! KAORI!!!! YUKIE!!!! BACK ME UP!!! I’M KIDDING DON’T KICK KONOHA OUT”

-> akaashi partially believes you, but bokuto?? nope.

-> you planted the seed on his mind.

-> the whole team acts weird when they see guys from your vid and are looking for chances to bark at konoha.

-> “AKAASHI HAS TO STAND BETWEEN YOU TWO ALL THE TIME” that’s the new rule he set.

-> just to see them freak out, konoha sometimes flirts with you at practice ;)

[butterbeerblurbs]

feeling heavy in the strongest arms (f.w.)

💌 : today, your heart felt exceptionally heavy. fred holds your heart gently in his hands, willing to keep you in his arms even if he doesn’t know why you feel that way. as long as it makes you feel a little bit better, that was all fred was willing to take.

📝 word count: 1,786 words / fred weasley x reader / 🌸 ☔️ pretty sad feels but somewhat comforting...? idek

💬: i just pictured, this could be one of the way fred could comfort y/n when she’s feeling upset and there’s no direct reasoning (also bc i see fred as someone who’s sensible to someone’s emotions, especially someone he’s infatuated with ;w;)

from the moment fred’s eyes landed on you in the great hall to start off his morning, something didn’t quite sit right. sure, you gave him the usual smile that sends the tingles down his spine and the burst of warmth gently combusts within when he’s able to spare you a kiss on your cheek as you take your spot next to him but... still, something’s not right.

“g’morning pretty lady,” fred tries the playful method and anticipates for the usual look of “fake” disgust. it doesn’t happen. instead he gets a small smile, a chuckle, even though he feels like that’s the last thing you want to be doing. 

“good morning, freddie,”

yet, fred doesn’t think it’s all that good.

he lets it slide, deciding not to bring it up in the morning when... maybe, just maybe, you didn’t sleep well? he’s hoping for that to be the case (because then it’s another excuse to take a nap together) but... no. when hermione asks if you slept well, you said you slept like a baby. you slept through angelina’s bloody snoring. that only meant you did sleep well.

if it’s not sleep then... hm... could it be-”oi, what are you doing? thinking about eating your own girlfriend for breakfast instead of what’s in front of you?”

fred turns to a mirror of himself, raising a brow with a smirk, “do you really want me to answer that, georgie?”

george gags and looks away, “merlin, you’re going to make me vomit out what i just ate,”

fred hears your voice laughing at what you’ve managed to hear between him and his twin. but when he glances back and locks eyes with you for a moment, he still doesn’t buy that everything’s alright.

//

said ginger boy is still confused as the day continues.

he’s had hours to ponder upon this and the more he observes from you, the more confused he gets. his answers doesn’t match up with the way you were acting (yes, he has been staring at you for a rather long time than doing actual work). it’s like... you were fine? but not really? fine to the eyes of the public, tip-top shape but... nothing about you gets past fred weasley.

absolutely nothing. not when he’s spent days upon months that gathered into the years of learning about you, still surprising himself how much he’s able to love you more each day.

this... this was new.

he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. he’ll continue thinking about it if it wasn’t for-”mr. weasley, maybe you’ll be able to produce something of worth if you actually did the work,” snape’s voice stiffen’s fred’s spine, and snape’s hand physically pushes the nape of his neck down to get to work.

he’ll get down to this soon enough... after potion’s, it seems.

//

surprisingly, fred manages to complete the task just in time for snape to barely let him scrape out of his classroom. fred anticipates he’ll have to rush after you as he collects his things but-”you alright, freddie?”

that voice makes him almost drop his book, missing his bag by an inch as he snaps his head towards the source of who that voice belonged to.

he gapes when you’re standing in front of him with a small smile, books to your chest and bag over your shoulder. you came to check up on him. even when it seems like the world has been unfairly cruel to you, you, still proved the world wrong with such kindness fred thinks you must be an actual angel.

“y-y/n,” he gapes, and that’s starting to-”you’re scaring me, freddie, are you alright?”

he runs his hand through his hair and stares at you, bewildered. however, he is thankful that the room is now empty as the remaining couple of students flutter out. “how?”

he hates how you look genuinely confused as your brows knit together, a pout forming whenever you felt unsure about something.

“h-how what?”

“how could you ask me that? how?” he shoves his book into his bag and leaves it on the stool, now both hands freely extending towards you to give you a gentle shake by your sides, “how can you ask me that when you’re the one not feeling okay?”

like a switch, fred watches as the facade you’ve been putting up all morning seems to crumble. he notices it starts with your breath hitching, which then slowly trails off to how your eyes appear sharp, suddenly blurry with the tell-tales of tears glassing over. fred could see himself frowning in them, and he absolutely hates the gut-wrenching feeling that swallows him whole.

even when you’re about to cry, there’s still a smile on your face.

“i-i can’t seem to hide anything from you, huh fred weasley?”

fred takes this moment to slip your books past your hands, nudging them onto the table. you allow your bag to slip from your shoulders as he tries to keep you close. and he doesn’t know if he’s doing that for your sake, or his.

“i... i feel heavy, freddie,” your voice barely makes it out to him, but it does. and each word is breaking his heart as he watches you try to explain your feelings that you weren’t completely sure of yourself. “it’s like... there’s a weight on my heart, pressing me down and i-”you lick your lips, tasting the saltiness trickling down you cheeks-”-i... feel so heavy, my heart feels so heavy,” you’re clutching onto the fabric of your robe directly above your heart, “it hurts so much, and i don’t even know why,” your voice is strained, stretched out across acres of trying to figure out why you feel like this but to no avail.

“i was feeling okay when i woke up this morning,” your lips are quivering at this point, sniffing as the tears can’t seem to stop, “why does it feel like my world has turned upside down all of a sudden?” fred knows you’re not asking him for the answer, rather, if there was a cruel higher up that was playing mind games with you, that was surely where your questions were directed to.

“i-i have everything, maybe not everything entirely but i should be happy,” you breathed in and out heavily, feeling your knees shaking, “and i am, genuinely am, but today,” fred doesn’t know since when you were out of breath, “m-my heart aches so much,”

fred flinches when you blink up to him, tears falling like your heart at the unexplainable weight that made its way without you noticing. he holds you tight, almost crushing you as he keeps you close to him like it’s the only thing he knows how to comfort you now. your hands don’t even make it around him, only going so far up to his waist to clutch onto the material of his robe hanging by his sides. he closes his eyes and gently strokes the back of your head, attempting to ease your sobs against his chest. he’ll willingly soak all of your tears, sadness, any ill feelings if he could. but knowing he can’t, if this could make you a little bit better or ease just a portion of the weight you were feeling, that’s as much as he’s grateful for.

it feels like an eternity ticked by but in reality it’s a mere ten minutes. your erratic breathing has calmed down from the nosedive of emotions you displayed that it’s starting to make you blush a little. fred only notices this when you’ve gone extremely quiet. he leans back just a little to peek at you, not only with red puffy eyes but also red cheeks.

“what’s the matter, love?” he asks softly, dipping down to get a glance at your eyes that seem too shy to meet with his now.

“i... i’m sorry, this was a lot to take in and... i just realised how much it was,” your tone was different this time. it registered to fred that... this was a tone he recognized. one of your hands remain holding to his robe, while the other reaching up to lightly punch his chest.

it may sound ridiculous but fred could hear yourself coming back. he could feel the aura around your changing.

“don’t tell me you’re sorry, y/n. you’re absolutely mad if you feel that now,” he raises a brow at you, “after all you just said? and cried? are you crazy?”

that makes you giggle - a genuine one, fred thinks - hands gingerly crawling around him to finally return the long-awaited hug.

“well... it’s... it’s not everyday you suddenly have to deal with your girlfriend bursting into tears and have no specific reason for it,” your voice is still raspy and sore from all the crying, but fred could pick out the syllables that gesture to him sonically that you were feeling better.

“i’d gladly take all of that in if it means i’m helping you overcome it,” he proudly puffs his chest out with that grin on his face but it also makes your heart swell at how much love you could feel he’s pouring just from the way he’s staring at you.

“thank you, freddie,” you lean forward to tuck yourself into his embrace, cheek against his chest. you can hear him smile as he squeezes you, then sway your bodies idly as he hums back, “don’t need to thank me, love,”

as the pair of you stay like that in silence (only for a few more minutes before you’d have to hurry along for the day), it’s like there’s an understanding that fred can’t possibly lift the weight up entirely for you. these were your emotions, after all.

but that doesn’t mean fred can’t stay with you as you get through them.

hand in hand, chest to chest.

((”promise if you want to cry, you’ll come to me? or at least, come see me after?” fred didn’t give you room to answer as he squishes your cheeks, towering over you with concerned eyes even though you're laughing, “yes, love? is that a yes? if you’re laughing like a goddess sent from above, i’ll take that as a yes!”

he was having a bit of trouble trying to push your cheeks together when you were grinning so wide, it’s making his heart do somersaults. not even the groaning of people at the common room could divert him away. (the both of you were, afterall, just mere steps away from them when you’re just by the stairs)

“yes, freddie, promise.”

“atta girl.” he winks, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he watches you go up to your room.))

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Here’s the ask to answer for your next try, lol. If only the people knew what we’re doing..

I don’t know what you’ve been planning with this, but I am scared.

Make me cry, Vaunna. Good luck!

we went for the happy kind of cry last time and it did not work SO here’s the soul-destroying kind of angst :3 good luck everybody

btw this is an AU to my fanon. it is in no way canon, it’s just a thing i thought might make Raven cry so :3 (and honestly im super proud of it so im happy whether or not it succeeds LOL)

a/n: bc a lot of my helsmits have the nickname Hels now, i’ve decided not to shorten their name to Hels when i’m writing them so that’s why Helsknight is continually referred to by his full name. sorry if it’s kinda awkward but it’s the way i wanna write it :)

…

Emerging from the forest, Wels takes in a deep breath of fresh air and sits down on a rock, the Yes Wings Club building in sight. After a nice walk out here with his hels counterpart, he needs to rest his legs for a moment.

“What is this?” asks Helsknight, approaching his counterpart with a thin pink object in his hand.

Wels glances up. “Oh, that’s an allium. It’s a flower.”

Helsknight stares at it for a moment. “What’s it for?”

“It looks pretty.”

“It does look pretty,” agrees Helsknight. “But is it functionally useful?”

Wels thinks for a moment. “It helps bees make honey. And you can give it to someone you like to show that you like them. But really, it’s just pretty.”

“Huh. Back in Helscraft, nothing exists just to be pretty.” After a moment, Helsknight sighs. “If I was in Helscraft, I’d just toss this back on the ground. Useless.”

“You’re not in Helscraft anymore,” Wels responds warmly. “You’re in Hermitcraft. If you like the flower, you should keep it. Useless doesn’t necessarily mean worthless.”

“That’s… That’s true.”

After a moment, Helsknight offers the flower to Wels, who gives a pleasantly confused frown. “What are you doing?”

Helsknight coughs awkwardly. “You, uh… You said you can give flowers to someone you like. I like you. Kind of.”

A wide grin appears on Wels’s face as he accepts the allium from his counterpart. “Aww. I think you’re actually starting to fit into Hermitcraft life.”

“How dare you,” Helsknight deadpans.

Wels laughs. “It’s not so bad. You seem a lot happier now than you were a few weeks ago. Maybe sometime soon, we can go ask Xisuma if you can be properly integrated into Hermitcraft.”

Helsknight stares at him hopefully. “Really? Do you think he’ll say yes?”

“If he sees how much you’ve changed and how valuable a member you can be, I think he might!”

“Wow…” Helsknight gazes down at the ground. “I can’t believe it might actually happen. I might never have to go back to Helscraft again.”

“If I have my way, you’ll stay here forever,” says Wels. “Anyway, you said you wanted to spar, right? It’s getting close to sunset; we’ll have to go home soon.”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah, let’s do it.”

Wels jumps up from his perch and the two start sparring with their swords. Within a minute, Helsknight sweeps Wels’s legs out from under him, causing him to crash to the ground, losing his weapon. “Hey!” Wels yelps. “That’s cheating!”

Helsknight laughs as he points his sword at Wels. “I believe that’s called a checkmate.”

Wels chuckles back and is about to respond when they both hear a voice scream Wels’s name from the direction of the Yes Wings Club building.

“Impulse?!” gasps Wels. “What is he-?!”

“Get away from Wels!” Impulse yells, charging at Helsknight with a sword. As the helsmit was not expecting an attack, Impulse is able to knock the sword out of Helsknight’s hand with no trouble.

“Impulse, don’t!” Wels yelps, struggling to get up. “He’s good now! He’s not evil anymore!”

But Impulse is already attacking Helsknight, who is unable to properly defend himself without a weapon.

Wels scrambles to his feet. “IMPULSE, STOP! HE’S NOT A THREAT ANYMORE!”

As Helsknight stumbles, Impulse lunges, clearly not thinking straight, clearly just trying to defend Wels from what he perceives to be an attack on his friend.

But he’s going to kill Helsknight. Forever.

So Wels shoves Helsknight out the way of Impulse’s attack. Impulse tries to stop his strike but it’s already too late.

Impulse’s blade pierces the centre of Wels’s chest and goes straight through the other side.

Letting go of his sword in shock and horror, Impulse stumbles backwards.

Helsknight quickly catches Wels as the latter’s knees sag and he lowers his counterpart to the ground, pulling out Impulse’s sword and tossing it away. He tries to stop the bleeding but it’s no use; the wound is too severe.

“Wels, I’m sorry!” Impulse cries. “I’m so sorry!”

Wels grasps weakly at Helsknight’s wrist, causing the latter to lift his torso up onto his lap. “Hels, don’t blame yourself,” Wels whispers. “P-Please. This was m-my choice, okay? Mine.”

“Wels…” Helsknight gazes down at his counterpart with anguished eyes. “Why would you do that for me…?”

“B-Because I like you,” rasps Wels with a weak smile. “Kind of.”

Helsknight squeezes his eyes shut, not trusting himself to speak again.

Finally, he feels Wels’s hand slide off his wrist, and he knows it’s over.

Welsknight was slain by impulseSV

Several seconds go by.

“Wh-Why isn’t he respawning?” Impulse croaks, starting to panic. “Why is his body still here? WHY ISN’T HE RESPAWNING?!”

Helsknight gazes down at Wels’s body with tears in his eyes. “I… Part of me didn’t think it was actually real…”

“WHAT’s real?” demands Impulse, his voice shrill with panic.

“It- It’s called the Hels Curse,” Helsknight explains shakily. “If a helsmit is directly or indirectly responsible for their counterpart’s death, their counterpart won’t respawn. It’s- It’s permadeath. And the curse is extremely specific, so it doesn’t matter that you were the one who killed him. Because you were aiming for me and he pushed me out of the way, I am indirectly responsible for his death.” Helsknight hangs his head and gently touches Wels’s shoulder. “He’s gone. Forever.”

His chest feels so heavy, weighed down by the knowledge that his best friend is dead. Wels loved Helsknight so much that he willingly sacrificed his life for him. That thought alone is enough to make a few tears flow from his eyes.

For the first time in his life, Helsknight is crying.

But after a few seconds, something springs to his mind and he hurriedly wipes his eyes. There IS something he can do. Another mechanism of being a helsmit that he can use here.

“This is your fault!” Impulse screams suddenly, kicking Helsknight away from Wels. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”

“Wait wait wait wait!” yelps Helsknight, frantically backing away from the furious hermit. “I can save him! I can save him!”

Impulse freezes in the process of picking up his sword. “What?”

“There’s a thing called the Altruist Failsafe,” Helsknight explains hurriedly. “Helsmits are created from the energy and lifeforce of their hermit counterparts. That’s why the curse exists: when a helsmit kills a hermit, they absorb the rest of their lifeforce, which is why they don’t respawn. But it also means they can give their lifeforce back to their hermit counterpart.”

Impulse stares at him suspiciously. “Are you saying you, an evil hermit, would sacrifice your life for Wels?”

Helsknights nods earnestly. “Wels took the blow you aimed at me. I was meant to die, not him. He deserves to live, not me. I can’t live in this world without him.”

With that, he moves over to Wels’s body and kneels down by his side. Impulse steps back, watching him with a mix of suspicion and curiosity.

Helsknight presses his hands to the centre of his chest and closes his eyes. After counting to three, he slowly moves them away from his chest, drawing out a small glowing red heart.

This is Helsknight’s lifeforce and without it, he can feel his strength already draining away.

So he quickly but carefully moves it down to Wels and pushes it into his chest the same way he had drawn it out of his own.

Immediately, Wels’s body starts to glow.

Helsknight rises unsteadily to his feet and staggers a few blocks away. He kneels beside the rock Wels had been sitting on earlier and props himself up against it, gazing up at the stars one last time.

They’re so beautiful.

Impulse, kneeling at Wels’s side, watches him. He watches Helsknight’s chest stop moving. He watches the light leave Helsknight’s eyes.

And at the same moment, Wels’s eyes open and he takes in an involuntary breath.

“Wels!” Impulse gasps. “You’re alive!”

Wels blinks in confusion, his gaze flickering all over as he tries to register where he is. “Wait, what happened? I-I’m supposed to be dead.”

“Helsknight gave his life for you,” explains Impulse quietly. “Some kind of… altruist thing, he said?”

“Oh-!” Wels’s heart freezes as his gaze lands on the limp body of Helsknight, propped up against the rock. Oh no! Nonononononono!”

He scrambles over to Helsknight and lifts his body onto his lap, trying desperately to awaken his counterpart. “Hels! HELS! NO!”

As it becomes increasingly obvious that Helsknight is dead, Wels hugs his body close to him, fighting back tears. “Why, Hels…?” he croaks. “Why would you do that for me…?”

“I’m sorry, Wels,” Impulse whispers, standing a few blocks behind Wels. “But… But you’re alive now. Isn’t that the best outcome?”

It takes Wels a few seconds to register what Impulse just said. “W-What…?! No!”

“A world where you’re dead and your hels counterpart is alive is not a good world, Wels,” says Impulse gently.

“I don’t care!” Wels’s voice cracks halfway through his sentence. “There’s a reason I jumped in front of your sword!”

Impulse, clearly taken aback by how furious Wels seems to be at him, gives a deep frown. “Wels, I don’t think you understand: you were permadead! You weren’t gonna respawn!”

“I KNOW!” Wels roars. “Hels told me about the curse!”

Impulse’s eyes widen in shock as he realises what his friend is trying to say. “Y-You were really okay with permadying for him?”

Wels carefully lowers Helsknight’s body to the ground and stands up to face his friend. “YES because HE would’ve permadied if you’d killed him! You just don’t LISTEN, do you?! I tried to tell you!”

“I-I’m sorry!” Impulse cries. “I saw him attacking you and I thought-!”

“I TRIED TO TELL YOU HE WASN’T A THREAT!” bellows Wels, unleashing all his grief and fury. “I TOLD YOU HE WAS GOOD NOW! AND YOU KILLED HIM ANYWAY!”

“I just wanted to protect y-!”

SLASH.

impulseSV was slain by Welsknight

Wels collapses to his hands and knees, his sword falling to the ground surrounded by Impulse’s items. He’s just killed his friend, but he no longer cares. Impulse will respawn. Helsknight will not.

He can’t believe Helsknight is gone. Not just gone but he sacrificed his life for Wels. He remembers Helsknight telling him about both the Hels Curse and the Altruist Failsafe. Part of him always knew he would die to the Hels Curse, but he never expected both of them to come into play within minutes of each other.

After a moment, he picks up Impulse’s shovel and starts to dig a hole in the ground not far from Helsknight’s body. When this is done, he carefully lifts his counterpart’s body into the hole and gently places Impulse’s sword in Helsknight’s hands, arranged so that the blade lies pointing towards the foot of the grave.

He sits back on his heels and takes a deep breath, letting tears fall from his eyes.

“Whenever death may surprise us, let it be welcome if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear and another hand reaches out to take up our arms,” he says hoarsely, reciting an old soldiers’ prayer that he had learned during his service.

With that, he methodically fills in the hole and sticks his sword in the ground above its head as a makeshift gravestone. And as a final touch, he plants an allium over the site. The allium that Helsknight had given him just half an hour ago. When everything in the world was good and the future felt bright.

As Wels turns to leave, he spots an iron sword lying on the ground a little way off. He realises with a jerk that it’s Helsknight’s sword, lying where its owner had dropped it when he had been attacked by Impulse.

He picks it up and inspects the blade. A memory of Helsknight crafting this sword resurfaces and what he was talking about as he did.

If our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear.

He recalls the way Helsknight spoke about Helscraft back then, how it’s a horrible place because the universe gave the best worlds to Hermitcraft and abandoned Helscraft to fend for itself. How passionately he spoke about wanting to create a better life for his Hels siblings.

And another hand reaches out to take up our arms.

His hand closes around the hilt of the sword and he lifts it aloft, closing his eyes against the rain that has started to fall from the darkening sky, as if the server itself is weeping for Wels’s loss.

“I’ll fight in your name, Hels,” he vows. “I won’t let your sacrifice be in vain.”

[epic-sorcerer]

Arthur for the character ask, please

Thank you :D @tolkienlockian

Also this turned into a huge rant bc I was feeling hangry when I wrote this and I can’t talk about Arthur without talking about hwo incompetent the writers are. So uh get ready

First impression: he’s a dick obviously. Super annoying. Classic rich white boy who says “do you know who my ✨ FATHER ✨ is???” But he has this way about him that’s sort of…lessens the edge? I think it’s bc Arthur is framed as young and ignorant, so the viewer assumes taht Arthur will grow into the exact opposite of how he appears now. So when he is saying or doing something bigoted, yes it does hurt, but there is a sort of optimism there. But the general feeling of “ugh this shit again I have it suffer through before he changes”

Impression now: Arthur didn’t change much :/ at least not enough in my opinion. I genuinely think season one is the best bc of this reason. Because there are amazing moments where Arthur saves Merlin’s life and shows humility and genuine sense of justice, regardless of their religion(case in point, mordred episode). And it feels like it’s all thrown away in favor of the writers keeping him in his rich white boy persona. At least in season one, it makes sense for Arthur’s development to eb and flow a bit, but thsi is far too extreme for a satisfying narrative to happen the whole show. One step forward, two steps back. I honestly feel that if Arthur was a real person, he would have grown so much. And so I often feel like I don’t know Arthur at all, bc it seams like it’s my responsibility to pick and chose what is actually “cannon” based on what I think is probable in my opinion. Witch sucks, bc I dotn feel like I really have an impression on Arthur as a character, and more of a sense of confusion. I often end up cherrypicking the most optimistic spin on Arthur, bc I want to believe what Merlin believes as a veiwer who is supposed to root for the main character and his cause. I feel like there is a general divide among the fandom about hwat is cannon aboht arthit and what isn’t, and it’s confusing and sort of frustrating.

Favorite moment: I’d have to say favorite moment is when Arthur comforted Merlin after freya died. It shows this side of Arthur that I want to see much more of. It’s suprizing as it is heartwarming when Arthur showed so much emotional intelligence wheb he knew Merlin was upset. THIS. THIS should be why Arthur deserves Merlin’s devotion. Not jsut merlins blissful fantasies of a world where merlisn not scared of Arthur one day wanting him dead. I’m sorry Am I getting too dark? But anyways, the best part was that it was successful. Merlin smiled and laughed. He got a moment of happiness to distract him from his grief.

Idea for a story: Arthur learns about Merlin’s magic in the dragon lord ep. Think about it. Arthur overhears Merlin’s conversation with his father before he died, Arthur stays quiet about it all the way back home bc he’s so completely stunned. And it gives him ample time to thing about things, especially bc Merlin probably wouldn’t want to talk much anyway. Even though Arthur’s pretty oblivious, I think he’d know that this really isn’t the time for bringing more drama into this about merljnscmagic. When Merlin is preparing Arthur for his battle w kilgara, Merlin picks up a sword and Arthur sees how determined Merlin is and alwyas was. And Arthur tells Merlin that he knows about Merlin’s power and that he’s literally their only hope. Dragon fight same as before BUT Arthur is secretly consious during wheb melrin sends away kilgara. Boom. Done. Not only dose Arthur know about Merlin’s magic, but it is done in the most charitable way possible. Merlin will only be shown in his best and most compassionate light, showing Arthur taht Merlin is the same Merlin he alwyas was.

Unpopular option: framing Arthur getting body shamed and being told to eat less is very bad actually and I genuinely don’t care how horrible he is to be around. No one deserves that and it’s sick it was portrayed as ok to young kids watching. Same to when Merlin sexually harassed him in the aithusia episode. A lot of wierd noncon shit happens to Arthur and it’s fucking sick. No wonder he’s such a bitch to be around.

Favorate relationship: merthur, although idk if anyones suprized. It’s hard not to love the pairing tbh. Too biseuxal to not love em

Favorite headcanon: definitely dyslexic!arthur, although @tolkienlockian definitely knows that by now lol. I would go on a huge rant about it but I already started a thred so I won’t

[kpophubb]

Hi baby 💕 ✉️ 🌝

Ahhh those Sunghoon gifs you reposted 🔥

I hope you had / are having an amazing day ! I kinda love your routine rn :) exercises are def good for the health I hope you are eating good and balanced meals ? Plus water ? ( ah I’m struggling heavily with all of those 😅🙈)

I can be literally so silly sometimes, I was checking your blog yesterday and I saw your reply and “I guess I replied in my head” till now , it’s literally next day 9pm here I was checking your blog literally 10 times looking for your message for me💀 but I think lmao just now I remembered I didn’t write anything 😭 I was waiting and checking your blog between the breaks and ah all my fault 🤦🏻‍♀️🤧😅🥲🥲

I happy for you again *^^^ uwu^^^ studying abroad is always an interesting experience & I hope everything goes smoothly and really happily :) medicine is hard tho too! I think even harder than law school 🏫.. I hope you still have time for your blog 😭🤧

Pat* pat* thanks for sweet messages 💕❤️💖 you are so adorable and I’m so happy I got a new friend:)

Also I got new medicine, my sickness (?) ah is kinda progressing .. I hope it’s not covid😭 that’s why I’m so slow on replies , I liter. would love to chat with u 27/4 and I am usually like this 😭🤧

Todays song recommendation that I can’t get enough is aespa— illusion , do you listen to GG? Maybe you have a bias in aespa? Also is your skz bias Felix ?:)

Thank you for 🍊 SUNOO 😽🥰🥰🥰🥰

Hugs and kisses baby , remember you are the best❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Also what do you think about my ideas for fic ? :) any you could work on ?🙈🙈😅😅🥰🥲

~ 🐁 nonie:)

🐁 anonie 🥺❤️ enjoy a little, fluffy sunsun edit first ( ♥︎ )

and about finding my asks ah you don’t have to go through so much trouble! Just go to “about my blog” portion in my pinned post and when you scroll down there’s a whole organised section for asks. “Anon list” over there click your emoji and tada! All your replies will show up🥰 I just opened my eyes from my sleep and I had such a romantic dream about taehyun ( from txt) 😳 my cheeks are blazing 😳👉🏻👈🏻 it’s always him I see romantic dreams about, today’s the second time! *gets shy and blushes uwu*🙈 he looked SO good AND SO MUCH TALLER THAN ME I could’ve passed out..*heavy breathing* 😮‍💨 and yeah ikr? Medicine is harder than law..and it takes up almost 24 hours of your time bc there’s so much study material and things to cover..I’m not sure if I can keep up w my writing speed and post fanfics as frequently, but I’m never leaving tumblr. 🫶🏻 I’ll always reblog gifs and answer asks and interact with the people here cause this is my safe haven.🥺🫶🏻💓 and I DID check out your fic ideas! I liked all of them tbh they are so cute T.T I wanna do a y/n’s best friend who is jealous over hyunnie and all, who also has feelings for y/n like you mentioned. But I can’t decide if it’s gonna be soobinie or sunoo! I feel like soobin would make a better appearance here since soobin and hyunjin are the same age? Better rivalry🤣 and more interesting love triangle haha. But ofc it’s upto you and who you want!! And naaaaahhh!! I hope it’s not covid :(( don’t worry it isn’t! Bc of rapid weather changes so many people around me (and even I did) face cold, fever, throat ache symptoms. I wish you a speedy recovery <3 I’m also glad I found a new friend T.T you’re so <333 I heard the last song by boa I think? It was pretty cool🤩 actually I’ve never heard songs from girl kpop bands before. I’m into the boyband culture so deeply haha. I only know itzy and heard one of their songs bc I literally simp for yeji!!😍 hugs and kisses back at you 😚 and I will leave this song review in our next ask <3 YEP felix is my skz bias WITHOUT A DOUBT 🌤💛 but my loyalty usually swerves between minho and seungminnie!😆

[hollandsangel]

i hope new york holds you | c.b.

crying bc this imagine gives me corbina vibes

inspired by the line “i hope new york holds you, i hope it holds you like i do” from la la lost you by NIKI and 88rising (it doesn’t really reconcile w the imagine but it’s still a vv good song)

summary: loving someone far away hurts sometimes

warnings: not sad this time lol

His house still smelled like you. He was still missing the chain he had let you borrow, but he didn’t want it back. 

You were back home, in New York. You always told him that you loved how it got cold in the winter there, that the way Times Square looked on New Year’s Eve was one of your favourite views, and that nothing could beat a New York thrift shop. New York was your home, but you were his.

He missed you more and more every time you said goodbye, he hated waking up without you in his bed, hated waking up when you were across the country. Corbyn knew you missed him too, he could tell from all the hoodies of his you shoved into your suitcase before you left him each time and from all the random packages he received from you unannounced. 

Sometimes the long distance thing was good, especially once the two of you had gotten used to it over the past two years. But sometimes, it wasn’t so good. Sometimes he would listen to voicemails you had sent him months ago, other times you would call him crying at one am because you just couldn’t stand to be so far from him for so long. When he would pick you up at the airport, neither of you would let go of each other for nearly four hours afterwards, but that’s how you liked it.

—

Daniel looked over to the seat Corbyn had just been sitting in, his attention being drawn to the ringing phone. Daniel grabbed Corbyn’s phone from the couch cushion,, sliding to accept your facetime request.

“Hey babe, I was wondering if you left one of your chains here when you came last month, because I found a silver one but it’s not mine and I’m pretty sure I saw- oh hey Daniel.” You finally looked up from your bedroom floor, which you had been tidying up when you called your boyfriend.

“Don’t tell Corbyn I called you babe.”

Daniel laughed at you, promising he wouldn’t when Corbyn came into his view. “Hey, Corbyn! Y/n called and I picked up, she called me babe because she wasn’t looking at the screen.”

“Daniel! You promised!” He only shrugged towards the phone, handing it to Corbyn who had a bright grin lighting up his face.

“Hey pretty girl.” 

“He betrayed me.”

“It’s okay, as long as he isn’t calling you babe.” The words came tumbling out between the grin on his lips.

“Ew.” You cringed, only making Corbyn’s smile widen. 

“So how’s New York? Snowing there yet?” he asked, sitting back down on the now empty couch.

“A little, most of it came yesterday and today. It looked really pretty last night, I should've sent you a video.” you leaned out of the frame to plug in your phone before continuing, “if it snows again, I’ll make sure to send one.”

“I can’t wait.”

“So how ‘bout you, how’s L.A. been?”

Corbyn let out a huff, his hair flying upwards as he did. “Fast.”

Your eyebrows bowed together, examining your boyfriend through the screen. “How so bub?”

He sunk further into the sofa, switching the hand he held his phone in before he spoke again. “Well there’s rehearsals and interviews, then there’s fittings and recordings and shows and the guy’s and I have been getting together basically every night at Daniel’s to write. We just keep going, and I love it, I really do. This is the dream, but I miss my bed.” he finished with a laugh. “I miss you. I wish we could be together for christmas this year.

The corners of your lips turned up in a sad smile, “I miss you too baby. And I’ll see you on New Years’ Eve.” your attempts to comfort him were fruitless.

“I hope New York holds you.” He took a small breath, “hope it holds you like I do.”

You smiled at him, and he admired you through the pixilated facetime resolution. “No one holds me like you do Corb.”

—

The change in weather from New York to L.A. always took you by surprise. You boarded the plane with snow in your hair and got off with the sun kissing your skin. Even two days before New Years Eve, the breeze was light and the air was hot. Your body buzzed as you pulled your ringing phone from your back pocket, worried it would be your boyfriend and that you would have to lie to him about your location again. The nerves in your body relaxed slightly when the name across your screen revealed Daniel’s name.

“Do you think he knows?” your voice was worried as you spoke into the phone, eyes searching for your luggage on the conveyor belt.

“What a greeting y/n/n.”

“Oh, hi Daniel, how are you? Yeah, I’m good too. Okay so do you think Corb knows I’m here to surprise him three days early?” 

“You’re the worst. And nah, he’s at my house with Zach and Jonah working out right now, so he’s definitely distracted.”

You finally found your suitcase and started looking for your gate, dying to get out of the airport. “What does he think you’re doing then?”

“Picking up the food we ordered, which I still need to grab by the way.”

“Alright, as long as you buy me lunch.”

Once you had made it through the airport, you had to try and navigate for Daniel’s car. Lucky, he saw you first and drove right up to you, and you were happy to see a familiar face. 

“He’s gonna be so excited to see you, like might actually jump on you excited.”

“I hope so, I really miss him too.”

The drive back to Daniel’s house had you restless, all you wanted was to be back in Corbyn’s arms.

Daniel had you take the food into the back where the boys were, knowing that Corbyn would be caught off guard. With that, you casually walked through the house into the back yard, setting the two bags of food on the table before speaking up.

“So, who ordered what?” Corbyn snapped up at your voice, his eyes finding you immediately.

“y/n!? What are you doing here!?” he was at your side in an instant, pulling you into him as tightly as he could. You didn’t even mind that he was sweaty and out of breath, at least he was finally with you.

“I missed you baby, merry late christmas.” you mumbled against his chest, tightening the hold you had on him.

“I missed you more, I love you so much.” he lifted your chin, and you took in his appearance quickly. No shirt, thick chain, his favourite hat resting backwards over his brunette locks. He interrupted your wondering eyes by pressing his lips to yours, and you had almost forgotten how perfect his kisses were. Almost. “Best christmas gift I could have gotten.” he kissed you again.

“So, does New York hold you like I do?” he asked playfully, kissing your forehead before looking back down at you.

You shook your head, snuggling back into his chest.

No one could hold you like he could.

tags!

@randomlimelightxxx @chanelwonders @baby-bearie @averysbestyears @g7aesthetic @would-you-tell-me-who-you-are @babyzachyy @jayjaw023

[whenisitenoughtrees]

Might I suggest “I don’t want to be alone.” with Royaliceit?

okay um. this one really got away from me, as i’m sure you can tell from the word count, so i really hope you like roman angst (w/ a happy ending, bc i’m not a monster)

Title: we are not alone (in the dark with our demons)

Word Count: 5,888

Content Warnings: roman-typical self-worth issues

(fic masterpost)

Roman has never really known what love is.

Oh, he pretends well enough. That’s his job, after all. He is Thomas’ hopes and dreams, his most romantic fantasies, and he performs that role well, spouting off suggestions about grand gestures and acts of true love and deeds of valor and honor and bravery. And it’s not as if he’s lying; based on every story he’s ever read, every Disney movie he’s ever watched, that is the epitome of what romance should be. And he thinks he would like that, would like to execute these grand gestures for someone, would like to sweep someone off their feet, be their savior, their hero.

Someone becomes Patton so gradually that he doesn’t notice for a very long time. Doesn’t notice how his heart beats faster whenever Patton is in the room, doesn’t notice how he hangs off Patton’s every word, doesn’t notice how he would do just about anything to get Patton to smile at him. Or rather, he does notice, sort of, in a vague, curious way. He’s just not sure what it means.

And then comes the wedding. And Roman thinks he understands what love is after all. Because the words of the others have always hurt him, their criticisms and mockery never as easily shaken off as he likes them to think, but this? This is something different. He watches as Patton sides with Deceit, with the side he was told not to believe, was told was in the wrong, was told was bad for Thomas, so you shouldn’t listen to him, Roman! He watches as Patton sides with Deceit, as Thomas sides with Deceit, upending everything he thought he believed, and the betrayal hits him like a knife to his chest. And he knows that it wouldn’t sting nearly so much if he didn’t trust Patton, if he wasn’t willing to follow him anywhere, if he didn’t love him, and the realization is far more bitter than sweet.

So, love is this: heartbreak, the stifling silences between breaths, and the words, we love you, said as if he is supposed to accept them.

He doesn’t. And why should he? He works so hard, tries his best every hour of every day, and this is what it gets him? A blow to the back of his head, faded and empty promises, a snake whispering in the dark, and Thomas turning away from him. You are! rings in his head, stuttered, placating, a lie.

And perhaps Thomas is right. Perhaps they are all right. And if Deceit is right, then he must be wrong. Isn’t that how it goes? Someone has to be the villain, after all. What else is he, if not a washed-up prince, a hero that has never managed to save anyone, a Creativity that is not nearly as good as he portrays himself to be?

God. No wonder they don’t love him.

So he throws himself into being better, into being more. He swallows his pride and apologizes to Deceit— to Janus, he supposes, though something about using the name still leaves an acrid taste in the back of his throat— and if the apology is a bit halfhearted, not entirely meant, Deceit doesn’t call him out on it, and he doesn’t call out Deceit’s apology in turn (and he has no idea, none at all, whether he means it sincerely or not. He can never tell, anymore, whether the words out of Deceit’s mouth are lies or truths, and sometimes, he thinks it doesn’t matter either way).

He asks Logan for input more often. He tries harder not to antagonize Virgil, or at least, not in the ways that truly bother him. He smiles at Patton when Patton approaches him, smiles and insists that he’s fine, even though he feels like his heart has been ripped out of his chest and dropped into oncoming traffic.

And Patton believes him. That is, perhaps, what hurts worst of all, that he doesn’t see the way he’s falling apart beneath the thin veneer of bravado.

But he can’t blame him for that. Roman is, if nothing else, a good actor. A good liar.

He spends more time working, coming up with ideas that are bigger and better than any of his previous ones. He presents them to Thomas, and acts like his entire being isn’t screaming for some form of validation, any scrap of affection, any crumb that might tell him that Thomas doesn’t think he’s too much of a failure after all. And sometimes, he gets that. Sometimes, the ideas are good. Sometimes, Thomas grins and thanks him and congratulates him on a job well done.

More often, the ideas aren’t good enough. More often, it’s back to the drawing board. He barely sleeps these days, can barely be bothered to try.

And he thinks about love a lot. Thinks in the privacy and secrecy of his own mind that maybe, love isn’t worth it, if it hurts this much. Thinks that he wishes that these feelings would go away, and then maybe, he could begin to claw his way back toward normalcy.

But he’s too aware of it, now. Too aware of the way that Patton smiles and moves, too aware of his kindness and his concern and the way he always tries to take such good care of everyone. The betrayal still sits heavy in his chest, but it’s like an old wound, now, one that still pains him but one that he can ignore most days, because in the end, he’s not sure that Patton was wrong at all in what he did, in choosing Deceit over him. He thinks that maybe he was wrong, that he still is, and he’s doing his best to change that, but he has never known how to be anything different from what he is. He has only known how to cover it all up, how to wrap himself in glittering paper and a shiny bow and hope that no one looks too closely at what lies underneath.

Perhaps he’s getting too lost in his own head. Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t see it coming.

It’s the only explanation he can think of. He should have noticed it, otherwise, should have seen the way that Patton and Deceit inch together, like two stars sliding into each other’s orbits. He should have seen the cautious glances, charged with so much more emotion than words could say, should have seen the tentative touches, should have seen the way they angle themselves toward each other whenever they’re in the same room. He should have seen it, should have guessed it, but he didn’t, so when Patton announces one night, over dinner, that he and Janus have decided to begin a relationship, he is taken completely by surprise.

Logan extends congratulations. Virgil’s blessing is far more cautious, still very wary of Deceit’s increased presence in their lives, but he appears glad for Patton, at least. And Roman offers the loudest, most boisterous well-wishes he can think of, professing his joy for Patton’s newfound happiness, putting forth anything and everything he can think of to direct attention away from the fact that on the inside, he just feels—

Numb.

Numb. Cold. Empty.

He knew he couldn’t have him. He knew that Patton could never return his affections. But apparently, there is a great deal of difference between knowing and knowing, and that difference is sobbed into his pillow in the early hours of the morning.

He falls into an uneasy sleep, and his dreams are of Patton, Patton smiling, Patton laughing, Patton telling him that he did good, Patton kissing him and tasting of citrus and cotton candy. And then, the dreams change, and Janus is there, too, sliding around the edges, smooth and confident and beautiful, his every motion poetry, his every glance a caress, and Roman takes his face in his hands and kisses him just as soundly as he did Patton, and then, he wakes up, shaking.

This cannot be right. This cannot be right, because these are all the emotions he pushed deep, deep down inside of him, never to see the light of day again. These are the emotions that he rejected after the theater, after the courtroom, after everyone told him time and time again that Deceit was wrong, that Deceit was bad, and if he wanted to be right, wanted to be good, he needed to treat Deceit like the villain he was. And so he did, and pretended that he has never wondered what Deceit’s lips would feel like on his, what it would be like to trace his fingers down those glimmering scales.

It seems that the time for pretending is over.

Once ended, an illusion cannot be reformed. The audience knows the trick now, would see right through any further conjuration. And Roman, too, can no longer fool himself into believing that what he feels does not exist, or that it will go away if he ignores it. He watches Patton, and he watches Janus, and he watches them together, cooking in the kitchen or cuddling on the sofa or simply sitting near each other and enjoying the company, and he burns for them, bright and hot and never-ending, fueled by the sheer force of his want. Roman is passion and Roman is desire, and he desires them, desires their attention and their affection and their love, and it’s like an arrow to his heart to know that he cannot have them, cannot have this.

Because they already have each other. And even if he were worthy of them in the first place, there is no space for him between them.

So, he does the hardest thing he has ever done in his life, and he pulls away.

He tries not to be obvious about it, tries not to do anything that might arouse suspicion or concern. He works longer, harder, makes excuses to miss meals and family gatherings. Loneliness settles into him like a physical weight, one that presses against his chest and makes it hard to breathe. Sometimes, he feels as though he stands on the edge of a precipice, a yawning chasm below, and all he has to do to fall is take one step forward. Sometimes, he feels as though he’s already falling, the wind whistling in his ears, gravity dragging him ever downward.

They give him looks, sometimes. Patton more often than Janus, though that might just be because Janus is more subtle. He can never interpret these looks. They’re always contemplative, perhaps a bit confused, perhaps a bit sad, and he doesn’t know what that means. Part of him fears that they’ve figured it out, figured him out, him and his hopeless, stupid love. Part of him wants them to, wants them to see right past him to all his dirty secrets, wants them to rip the bandage off, to let him down gently, to tell him what he already knows.

Part of him wants to fall.

The loneliness becomes tangible, surrounding him like a fog. He’s surprised no one else can see it. But then, that is the point, isn’t it?

He’s chosen this.

And it all hits him one evening, as the sun has just begun to set and he’s skipped yet another dinner, claiming to be off on a quest in the Imagination. He hasn’t been on a quest for a while, hasn’t been able to muster up the energy, or the persona. Quests are for princes, for heroes, and these days, he’s not so sure that he’s either of those. He certainly doesn’t feel like one. He plans to work instead, to churn out a few more video ideas for Thomas in the hopes that one is usable.

He finds himself curling up in a ball in the corner of his room, tears stinging in his eyes.

There’s no particular reason for it. Nothing about today has been any worse than any other recent days. This feels like something that has building for a while, like a rubber band stretched until it snaps. And he feels like he’s snapped, like something essential in him has broken, and he knows that he should be able to move past this, should get back up and get back to work, but he can’t, and that fact just sends him spiraling more, because if he can’t create anything and he can’t love properly, then what good is he?

He shudders, choking on a sob and sucking in a desperate breath. He stuffs his fist in his mouth, trying to muffle the cries that seek to escape him, as if from a wounded animal, and perhaps that’s exactly what he is. A wounded animal, begging for comfort, for solace, and finding nothing at all.

He wants someone here. Just, someone. Anyone. Someone to hold him and tell him that everything will be alright, even if it’s a lie. Someone to dry his tears, to grasp his hands, to touch him. He wants it and he can’t have it, and he feels so, so alone.

Even if he deserved reassurance, he wouldn’t seek it. He’s supposed to be strong, supposed to be a prince, for heaven’s sake, and even if he knows just how weak he truly is, the others don’t.

He can’t let anyone see him like this.

And that is when the knock sounds on his door, as if summoned by his thoughts. Four times, a light, quick beat. He freezes, alarm coursing through him.

“Hey, Roman?” It’s Patton. It’s Patton, and he sounds worried, and Roman hates himself for becoming a source of stress. “I, uh, I brought you dinner. I know you said you’d grab something later, but you haven’t been down for a meal with everyone in a while, so, uh. I’m getting a little bit worried about you. Could I come in?”

He takes a steadying breath. He needs to respond, because if he doesn’t, Patton will likely enter anyway, just to check on him. So he needs to reply, and hope for the life of him that whatever he says is good enough to persuade him to leave, to persuade him that all is well.

“Just leave it outside the door,” he calls out. His voice sounds thick and clumsy even to his own ears. It’s because of the tears, but perhaps he can claim he just woke up from a nap, if Patton asks. “I’ll grab it in a bit.” And then, he winces, because that sounds rude, sounds callous, sounds like he doesn’t care that Patton has made the effort to come up here and bring him food. It’s quite the opposite; he cares far too much. So he tacks on, “Thanks, Pat,” hoping that at least some of his gratitude will come across.

Instead, his voice breaks, and his breath hitches as he forcibly suppresses another sob.

For a long moment, Patton is silent.

“Are you… okay?” he asks. “I’m coming in, Roman.”

No.

“Please don’t,” he says, and realizes even as he does that his voice is too frantic, too desperate, and it won’t fool Patton for even a second. “I’m fine.”

The doorknob turns, and the door slowly swings open. Not all the way, just enough for Patton to poke his head through, his brows furrowed in concern. There is a plate in his hands, and the room fills with the scent of cooked pasta. Spaghetti, he thinks. One of his favorites.

“You don’t sound fine,” Patton says, and then his gaze finally lands on Roman, and Roman would like to melt into the floor in shame. He knows what he must look like, knows he must seem an utter disaster, with his rumpled clothes and tear-stained face, curled up in the corner like the pathetic mess of a side he is.

“Oh,” Patton says, eyes widening. He seems shocked for a moment, but then, he is moving, entering the room all the way and rushing to Roman’s side, setting the plate down on his desk before kneeling next to him, hands outstretched but not touching, not quite, as if he’s unsure of his welcome. “Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong? What can I do?”

He shakes his head, staring at him, because how is he supposed to tell Patton the truth? How is he supposed to tell him that he aches for him, him and Janus both, longs to disrupt the happiness they’ve found in each other? How is he supposed to tell him that he’s pulled away to try to get over himself, to prevent himself from doing something rash, to attempt to make the problem disappear, and instead has only succeeded in making himself feel worse? How is he supposed to admit any of this?

How is he supposed to admit that he’s a failure?

“It’s just…” he starts. “It’s too much, right now. I’ll, I’ll be okay, I just need…” He cuts himself off, burying his face in his hands, because he knows exactly what he needs, and he can’t let himself say it out loud, but if he voices anything else, it would be a lie, and he’s already lying to Patton so much, and he’s so tired.

“What do you need, honey?” Patton asks, but he just curls in on himself more.

New strategy: maybe if he doesn’t answer at all, Patton will get fed up and leave. It’s unlikely, because that’s just not the kind of person that Patton is. But it’s the only viable plan he has left.

Patton doesn’t leave.

“That’s okay, Roman. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t wanna.” Patton hesitates, and Roman is tempted to look at him, to take the measure of whatever expression is on his face. “Would it be alright if I touched you?”

And he does look then, looks and finds that the only emotion on Patton’s face is concern, a desire to help, so he nods, and Patton reaches out to him, gathering him into his arms, and Roman can’t remember the last time he was touched like this. He feels so safe, so warm, and so terribly, horribly guilty, because he can’t feel like he’s taking advantage of him, because Patton has no idea about the feelings that flutter in his chest, traitorous and excited by something so simple as mere contact, and his mind is so eager to twist this situation around, to make more out of it than it is.

Patton cares about him. He feels more secure about that than he used to. But it is the same kind of care that Patton offers to everyone, and he feels so selfish and awful for desiring more than that, and for not having the courage to even own up to doing so.

But he still relaxes into the embrace, lets Patton rub soothing circles into his back, even though it makes him sob harder, this moment that is so close to what he wants and yet so far.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Patton murmurs, “I promise. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

He shakes his head mutely. It’s all he can do.

Nothing is going to be okay. But he doesn’t have the words to explain that.

But maybe, if he can live in this moment for just a little while longer, he will regain the strength to pretend.

“Patton?” The voice floats in from outside his room, and he stiffens. “You’ve been gone for a while. Is everything— oh.”

Roman shifts his head, and his vision is blurry, but he can just make out the figure standing in his doorway, awkward and discomfited, his hands twitching as if he doesn’t know where to place them. It’s Janus, because of course it is Janus, come looking for his boyfriend, and here Roman is, taking up both of their time, now, and there is a part of him that selfishly delights in it, that insists that if this is all he will ever get from them, he might as well make the most of it.

“I can—” Janus shuffles his feet, oddly hesitant. “Here, I’ll just—”

He moves as to leave, and close the door behind him, and suddenly, that is the last thing Roman wants. It is too late to pretend that this never happened, too late to prevent him from seeing his humiliation in the first place. At this point, what is a little more selfishness?

“You can stay,” he murmurs, and he’s sure he doesn’t sound at all convincing, but Janus pauses anyway, a crease forming between his brows. When he enters the room, he does so cautiously, as if expecting Roman to change his mind at any moment, but he does enter, and that is what is most important. He kneels beside Patton, and Roman is certain that they exchange a glance over his head, some silent communication, before Janus tentatively reaches out and places a hand on Roman’s arm. It is clear that he is not practiced in offering comfort, but the fact that he is willing to try at all is enough to add to the tears still streaming down his face.

“Would you like to tell us what’s wrong?” Janus asks, and even when Roman doesn’t answer with anything more than hitching breaths and shallow sobs, turning his face back into Patton’s shirt because he can’t face this kindness, Janus doesn’t push him for more. Just sits there and offers silent support and a single source of contact.

It’s too much, really, having the both of them here, having Patton hugging him and Janus touching him, both of them offering care but not the kind of care that Roman wants most. And it’s so wrong of him to fool them into giving this to him, because this means so much more to him than it does to them and they have no idea. He’s essentially tricking them, tricking them in the worst kind of way, and the longer he sits there, crying against Patton’s chest, the worse he feels about it.

And eventually, his tears run dry. And he knows he has to end this.

“I’m okay now,” he mumbles, turning his head so that he’s no longer speaking into Patton’s shirt. “You guys can go.”

Janus arches a brow, and belatedly, Roman remembers that lying to the Lord of the Lies is an inadvisable move at best.

“Is that right?” Janus asks, doubt dripping from every syllable. He’s not aiming to wound, but Roman flinches anyway. “You’ve spent the past twenty minutes sobbing your heart out, and there’s absolutely no underlying reason that needs to be dealt with? Everything’s all hunky-dory?”

He wriggles out of Patton’s hold with no small amount of regret, shifting backward until there is a few feet of space between him and both of them. He tries to fix his expression into some semblance of a glare, though he’s certain it’s not very effective. He must look like a train wreck.

“All hunky-dory,” he confirms, and has to pause, because literally who says that anymore? He shouldn’t find that endearing. He shouldn’t. “I was just… overwhelmed. That’s all.”

It’s not technically a lie, so Janus shouldn’t be able to sense anything off. But he narrows his eyes in suspicion, reminding Roman that he’s still perfectly capable of detecting half-truths the normal way, though plain observation.

“You have been putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself lately,” Patton says, and Roman turns to him in surprise. Patton winces, wringing his hands. “I mean… I don’t wanna overstep any boundaries here, but it seems to me that we barely see you anymore, ‘cause you’re always holed up in here working. And I’m not saying that you need to stop or anything like that, especially not if you’re feeling a lot of inspiration these days, but, um. We miss you.” He pauses. “I miss you.” He says the last in an undertone, glancing at his lap, and Roman blinks.

“I didn’t…” He stops, trying to get his thoughts in order, but it’s a hopeless task. His thoughts are flying every which way, no rhyme or reason to them. “That is, I didn’t mean to—”

“If you’re going to finish that sentence with something along the lines of, I didn’t mean to avoid you, you needn’t bother,” Janus interrupts. His voice is smooth and unreadable, and something about it makes Roman want to crawl under a rock and hide there. “It’s fairly obvious to me that that’s exactly what you’ve been doing.” Patton frowns then, looking at Janus and opening his mouth to say something, but Janus holds up a hand, forestalling him. “What I don’t understand is why? Or at least, why Patton? Me, I get.”

It takes a moment for him to realize what Janus is saying, his mind taking far too long to wrangle his words into something approaching sense. “Wait, what?” he blurts out. “Why would you… why would you ‘get it’ if I was avoiding you?”

This is, perhaps, not the most urgent question he needs to ask. But he’s confused, now, confused and beginning to realize that once again, his actions may have had unintended consequences.

Janus looks at him like he’s crazy. “Roman, I am not unaware that you dislike me. And that’s… perfectly fine. After everything I’ve put you through, I… well, as I said, I understand.” He pauses, inhaling deeply, seeming to steady himself. “Again, I’m not asking for me. And I would appreciate an answer.”

Roman can only stare, his horror mounting as he realizes that Janus means every word of what he’s saying, that Janus truly believes that Roman doesn’t like him, and oh god, he’s gone and fucked all of this up, hasn’t he? He didn’t think they would notice him stepping back, much less draw the wrong conclusions, but apparently they have, and he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. He can lean into this, pretend to be angry with them, pretend not to want them around, no matter how much that would break him. Or he can tell them the truth, and be broken in an entirely different way when they reject him, kindly at best and in disgust at worst. There’s no good option, and it’s all he can do to keep his breathing even, to keep his lungs functioning.

But he looks at Janus, his face set into hard lines. And he looks at Patton, who doesn’t meet his eyes, whose dejection is shining through every inch of his slumped posture and in the way he fiddles with his fingers, anxious and discontent.

He didn’t think this would hurt them. Frankly, he thought they were too wrapped up in each other to notice much of what he was doing at all. But evidently, he has miscalculated, badly, and there is no good option, but he knows which one will hurt them less.

He’s been selfish enough.

He releases a shuddering breath, shaking his head and staring at the floor. He doesn’t have it in him to look at them, to watch their reactions to what he’s about to say. “I’m really sorry,” he says, and his voice emerges as a miserable whisper. “I didn’t, I didn’t mean to make you think that—” He cuts off. Gathers his thoughts into a coherent sentence. By the nine muses, this is difficult. “I don’t… I don’t dislike you. Either of you. Um, it’s the opposite. I, uh, like you a lot. Both of you. Too much.” He curls in on himself, wrapping his arms around his stomach, as if to hide, though he knows that there is no hiding from this, no going back. “I just, you two were so happy, and I didn’t want to, to get in the way, or ruin something, but I guess I failed at that too, huh? I… god, I’m so sorry.”

He stops talking. There’s nothing more he can say. It’s out in the open, now. No take-backs.

He’s not sure what he’s expecting. But it’s not for Patton to lunge forward, to grab him by the shoulders and jerk him upright, to force eye contact, sudden and startled.

“You could never,” Patton insists, and to Roman’s dismay, his voice is choked with tears. “Do you hear me? You could never, ever ruin anything.” He sniffles, then, losing some of his intensity, and leans forward, pressing his forehead against Roman’s. “I thought that I’d messed up,” he says. “I thought that it was still too much, after the wedding and everything that happened, and that you still wanted space, or time, and I felt so guilty because I didn’t want to let you have that, but I thought that if it was what you wanted, then I shouldn’t—” He sighs, cutting himself off and closing his eyes. A tear slips out from between his eyelids.

Roman, for his part, barely dares to breathe. Patton is so close.

“You,” he says, a stuttering start, because he doesn’t know what he’s saying, doesn’t know what Patton is saying, “you, what do you—”

“I like you a lot, too,” Patton says, and Roman can see the way his eyes shine and swirl, his irises a smeared mixture of Thomas’ brown and his own signature blue. “I have for… gosh, a really long time now. I guess I never thought there was a good time for me to do something about it, and then with the… everything, I thought for sure that you didn’t… I’m so sorry, Roman. You’ve been hurting all this time and I didn’t… I couldn’t…” He trails off into a sniffle, and as much as Roman would like to comfort him, he is frozen, working through the words that echo in his ears and in his brain.

Because he can’t have said what he thinks he’s just said, right? Because that would mean—

Unable to help himself, he looks over to Janus, expecting to see anger or dismay or something of the like, because if Roman is hearing this correctly, if Roman is interpreting this correctly, then Patton… Patton has just confessed to having feelings for him. And that in itself is difficult to process, impossible to accept, but surely Janus can’t approve of this, can’t allow this to happen, can’t let Roman get between him and his boyfriend—

Janus is staring, his eyes flitting back and forth between the two of them, and his expression is open and unguarded but there is no anger there, no fear, and when he catches Roman looking, it softens, suddenly, inexorably, and Roman can’t hope to understand it because he must be seeing wrong, because it looks an awful lot like—

Well. It looks an awful lot like the way he looks at Patton.

“You’ve always captivated me,” Janus says, simply, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “I… I know that I’ve flattered you in the past, but I, ah. I might have meant more of it than I wanted to let on.” He glances away, as if embarrassed, and Roman feels as though he’s floating. “I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t acquitted myself well, and for that, I am truly sorry.”

“We’ve talked about this, a little bit,” Patton says softly, and Roman drags his attention back to him, little though he wants to look away from Janus, from this confession that he can scarcely bring himself to believe. “You, that is. We both love you a whole lot, Roman. We didn’t think you’d be interested, so we didn’t bring it up before. But we’d be really, really happy if you’d join us, honey.”

He shudders, tearing himself away from Patton and immediately feeling the loss, the cold air against his forehead. He doesn’t know what to do, or what do say, and most of him can’t absorb the fact that this is happening, that this is real, that after so long being on his own, they’re both here, they know that he loves them, and they want him in return.

He should be ecstatic. Over the moon. Jumping for joy. But he has never once allowed himself to believe that he might have this, has never so much as entertained the possibility, so now, presented with everything he has longed for, he feels so terribly overwhelmed.

“It’s up to you,” Patton says softly. He reaches out, and when Roman doesn’t move to stop him, he takes his hand, and Roman could cry, he really could. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, whatever you want, we can do.”

He shakes his head desperately, a multitude of words springing to his lips but all of them falling short of being spoken, because he doesn’t know how to explain this, how to explain that it’s too much, being asked this, being asked what he wants, because he wants anything and everything, but he has spent so long telling himself that he can’t that he doesn’t know what to do now that he’s being told that he can.

And some of that must show on his face, because Patton scoots closer, concern driving a furrow in his brow, but then, suddenly, Janus is there, a steady presence at his side, one hand gently resting on his shoulder.

“It’s alright if you’re not ready for that,” he says, and Roman has never heard Janus speak so tenderly. Not like this, not to him. “It’s alright if you’re not ready for anything at all. But if you’d like, you could try starting with what you don’t want.”

At first, he’s not sure what Janus means, not sure how that will help. But then, his perspective flips, and he finds it easier, somehow, to focus on that, rather than the alternative. He wants so much, and he is too used to denying himself, but at this point, he knows very well what he doesn’t want.

“I don’t want to be alone,” he gasps out, and it’s practically a sob, weak and shattered. “Please, don’t leave me alone.”

Patton shifts closer once again, wrapping his arms around him for a second time. And Janus is here, too, pressing up against his side.

“Never,” Patton swears. “You never have to be alone, not ever again.”

“And that’s the whole truth and nothing but,” Janus adds, a bit wry but somehow still infinitely soft.

And they stay. With him. Just because he asked. And slowly, their proclamations sink in, the idea that perhaps they really do love him return, and goodness, he’s been so foolish, hasn’t he? Pushing them away because he thought it best, because he was so sure they wouldn’t want him, when really, it was the opposite. He hovers somewhere between laughing and breaking down into tears once again, but ends up doing neither, relaxing into the warmth of Patton’s arms holding him, of Janus right by his side.

Perhaps he was wrong, before. Perhaps even now, he has never truly understood what love is. He has spent the last weeks and months defining it by heartbreak, but perhaps it was never about that at all.

So, perhaps love is this: acceptance, the rhythm of three hearts beating as one, and the words, we’re not leaving, said aloud and finally, finally, Roman thinks he can accept them.

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