#dimitri x y/n

[lunaekalenda]

omg… when i saw fire emblem i HAD to jump on… 😳 dimitri my beloved 🫶 my ideal date w dimitri would have to be something real simple like a picnic date or a night out on the town and then we just wander around. my fav trope would have to be childhood friends to lovers but i don’t really mind anything! tysmmm and i hope u have/had a great valentines <333

hello!! omg you're my first request for fire emblem so thank you so much for stopping to request! i hope you're having a nice valentine's day as well <3 muack!

"And then, while I was using the computer to make some assignments, the boss came and told me that it wasn't necessary to stay and finish them." as you speak, Dimitri's brows arch in surprise. His eyes are still focused on the road, and his hand, covered by yours, resting softly on the gear lever. Turns the blinker to the right before softly braking near the street. You look at him with confusion, as he smiles softly and takes off his car belt. He gets closer to leave a kiss on your forehead.

"Wait here for a second, I'll be right back."

Dimitri leaves the car to enter on a quiet café you can see from the car. Inside, you can barely difference your boyfriend between the clients, but he quickly leaves, holding a couple bags and two cups on his hands. He leaves them on the trunk before entering again to the pilot's seat. He offers you one cup as he takes the other. He doesn't even dissimulate his smile as he starts the engine again, resting his cup on the holder next to you as he drives to ge slowly placed in front of a traffic light that doesn't lead you home.

"What are the bags for?" you ask. Dimitri's smile widens as he takes your hand, placing it softly under his before changing gear again, not answering your question as the sky starts to darken and the street lights softly turn on around you.

Dimitri drives for a while, telling jokes that almost make you spill your drink, kissing your hand when he has occasion and softly humming to any song you play on the car's radio. Dimitri slowly stops near the entrance of a park, turning off the engine as he looks at you.

"Do you remember when we were twelve and you told me that Valentine's Day was overrated?" you feel heath in your cheeks as he brings back old conversations. Dimitri always had good memory, and, specially, if it has something to see with you. "We were sitting on the bench near the monastery's entrance."

"And I said that Valentine's was overrated 'cause no one gave me chocolates that year." you laugh. It wasn't more than a child tantrum. Dimitri smiles softly, looking at the ring shining on your hand, so similar to his.

"Then, you told me that getting chocolates for Valentine's was a huge marketing tactic because you overheard our teacher speaking with her colleagues." he softly shakes his head. You sigh. "Do you still think the same way?"

The silence makes you think deep about what you want to say, ordering your words.

"It indeed is a marketing tactic." Both of you laugh softly, as the moon starts to rise in front of both of you, her soft light entering on the car and illuminating his profile and his golden locks. "But it's lovely. Everything gets so red and pink, so full of hearts and romantic. And heart-shaped chocolates from you always taste better." it makes Dimitri smile softly, feeling the blush reaching his cheeks. "Now, I have something for you..."

He smiles widely before reaching your lips for a kiss. "Before, we should leave the car."

Dimitri winks as he leaves, quickly appearing in front of your car door, opening it for you and offering a helping hand. You thank him with a soft smile before he takes a blanket and the bags from before, and you realize it before he speaks.

"When we were ten, you liked romantic picnics." You can feel tears forming on your eyes. "You never got the occasion to go on one, specially during our uni days, and you parked the idea." He speaks as he sets the blanket on the soft grass, making sure there was no stone or stick that could make it uncomfortable. "But I didn't." He starts to take boxes outside of the bags. Salty snacks, drinks and, of course, a box of heart-shaped chocolates. "I wanted to make it special for you, so..." He stands up after putting the last box on the blanket. "Happy Valentine's Day, my love. I hope this is our first picnic of many more waiting for us."

His arms take you on a tender hug under the stars, letting you grip to his shirt and feel his lips against your head, soft. You don't know how many time you've been hugging him, but you suddenly remember the surprise you packed for him that rests on your bag. Parting from him, you smile.

"Time for my surprise."

It's true that Dimitri and you might have been dating for a couple of years, but your love for him comes from way before. You take a folded paper, giving it to him. He softly undoes it, under your attentive gaze. There, your 9 year old self wrote, in capital letters and different colors.

"Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, I like you. Please, be my Valentine tomorrow and many years!" Dimitri's voice reads your words, smiling at the drawing of both of you eating on a picnic. It was one of your best saved secrets, and you promised yourself to share it only with him, on a Valentine's Day. Dimitri's hands fold softly the paper, before introducing it on his shirt's pocket, right above his heart, and taking you near him for a kiss. You can feel his smile against your mouth, and your feel like you melt when he whispers against your lips, brushing his softly.

"I love you."

[i-cant-sing]

Red Flags about my ocs:

Y/n, being cuddled very aggressively by Theodore: I think your red flag is that you stop me from going to work by cuddling me and telling me that I should just quit because you can take care of me.

Theodore, narrowing his eyes at you as he signs: and I think you're color blind but you don't see me pointing it out.

-

Y/n: stalking me, leaving me creepy messages and gifts, buying the bank and the police, and then kidnapping me, then revealing that you are a murdering mafia leader are all VERY RED FLAGS!

Dimitri, sips his vodka:

Y/n:

Dimitri, another sip: I think thats a beige flag.

Y/n, eye twitches: How?

Dimitri, smiles: I'm handsome, I'm rich, and I have a really cute son who you absolutely adore. They kinda neutralise the redness, no?

Y/n: nO-

Dimitri, pulls you into his lap and kisses you deeply, not minding you trying to scratch his face off: it's okay, little bee. You'll learn to love being covered in red in time. It is my favourite colour, after all.

-

Y/n: You have no red flags, Eros. You're perfect.

Eros: what? I'm not perfect. Of course, I have some red flags. Like- like what about the time I forgot to kiss you on your birthday morning?🥺

Y/n: that's because you went downstairs to catch the man who was trying to break in!

Eros: hm, what about the time I sold your car?

Y/n: and then bought me my dream car! Eros, stop, okay? The flag has literally never been greener.

Eros, sulking: okay, if you say so, my love.

Y/n: I love you, my green flag.

Eros, perking up and kissing you: more, always.

-

Magnus: hey angel, so earlier you mentioned that I may have some red flags? Do you wanna talk about them now?🙂

Y/n, seeing all the cult followers glaring at her and recalling how they promised to pluck your eyes out so that you can't see "red" anymore: ugh- um, y-yeah, I don't know what i was talking about Mag. I don't think I'm feeling well, probably that's why I was talking nonsense.

Magnus, concerned and grabbing your face gently: oh? Not feeling well, are you? It must be because of your hormones just ruining your body. I think another baby in you will balance your hormones out!🥰

[frickingnerd]

dimitri's s/o being experimented on by those who slither in the dark

pairing: dimitri alexandre blaiddyd x gn!reader

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship

you didn't tell dimitri about you being kidnapped and experimented on as a child by those who slither in the dark, until about five years into the war

still, dimitri had always noticed some similarities between edelgard, lysithea and yourself and the way the three of you seemed to be oddly close…

when you finally opened up to dimitri about those who slither in the dark and their experiments on you, it was worse than anything he could've imagined

dimitri began to understand that you weren't their only victim and that they are responsible for most of the conflict in fodlan

dimitri wants to take them down. he needs to take them down! for your sake and for fodlan! 

and he's willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that goal! even ally with claude and edelgard, if those are willing to help him…

dimitri makes it his goal to kill every last one of those who slither in the dark, with his focus being solely on them

it takes him a while to realize that instead of annihilating them, he'd help you more if he'd just be there for you, supporting and comforting you

dimitri struggles a bit with helping you emotionally, well aware that he's more skilled with his lance than his words

still, he's doing all of this for you. and if you need him to be by your side and comfort you after a nightmare or a panic attack, then he'll be there! 

[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Underworld || Dimitri Belikov

Dimitri Belikov x dhampir!f!reader Summary: The Underworld is a society that thrives on a certain kind of darkness. It is a darkness that lives in everyone but one very few people can truly embrace. You had no such qualms embracing your darkness, it was what led you to Dimitri. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, sexual themes, fight scenes, mentions of blood and wounds, alcohol. WC: 2.6k

Ch.1 || Ch.2 || Ch.3 || Ch.4 || Ch.5 || Ch.6 ||

“That is a face I never thought I would see here.” There was no need to whisper when both you and Sam were dhampir, she could hear you clearly despite the heavy music that thrashed out of the speakers. “Do you think he is here to fuck or fight?”

“There’s only one way to find out,” she said with a sordid grin. “Go get ‘em tiger.”

You stepped off the bartop you had been perched upon and swiped two shot glasses along with a bottle of vodka, much to the owners chagrin. You blew a kiss to the Moroi who regularly followed you to the dark corners of his club and he rolled his eyes before turning back to his staff awaiting orders. 

Dimitri sat alone on a vinyl bench that was meant to be for larger groups wanting to enjoy the entertainment. Given the ‘fuck off’ vibe rolling off him it was no surprise he had been left alone. All the more room for you to sidle into. 

His eyes were the only sign of life and you caught them darting towards you the moment you moved into his peripheral, but he stayed motionless. Dumping the two shot glasses onto the table in front of him, you poured the vodka to the brim and held one out for him. “Drink?” 

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice cold and restrained as he returned to watching the dancers on the stage. 

“That’s not important,” you began, pausing to take the shot he didn’t, “I want to know what it is you want.”

He kept his eyes on the stage where two dhampir women and a Moroi man were engaged in some scandalous positions, by no means fucking but certainly on their way there. It wouldn’t be long until Kessir gave the signal for the dance to end and offer the Moroi the chance to continue his tryst in the private rooms down the hall. They always said yes. 

Wanting the guardian’s attention, you took a seat in a way he was not expecting from the sudden stiffening of his spine. You had straddled his legs and chuckled darkly as you brushed his long dark hair back from his neck so you could whisper in his ear.

“There’s only two reasons men like you come to a place like this.” His eyes narrowed as he waited for you to continue but you reached back and poured him a shot, one that he finally accepted. “You are either running from something, or looking for something. Which is it, Belikov?”

He tipped his head back and swallowed the vodka without so much as a blink, holding his empty glass for a refill. “If you know so much about men like me, why don’t you tell me?”

You bit your lip as you stared into his golden brown eyes and poured him another shot. “You don’t look like a man who runs from his problems.”

The corners of his lips twitched in amusement before they parted for the shot he took. A drop of vodka lingered on his bottom lip and you shifted closer, tracing your tongue along that full lip until you caught the wayward drop. “So what is it you are looking for?”

His heart beat rapidly under your palms as sat back and left your hands resting on his chest. You hadn’t realised he had begun to relax under you until he started to rebuild the walls and his eyes turned cold. Unwilling to lose the ground you had made, you caught his chin in your hand, enjoying the feel of his 5 o’clock shadow of a beard. 

“Uh-uh, stay with me,” you ordered, “this is a place without judgement. Whatever it is you are looking for can be found here, but you already know that or you wouldn’t have come.”

Almost quicker than you could see he had pinned you to the bench he had been sitting on, his large hand enclosed around your throat. Your air was restricted but not stolen as he pinned you beneath his body and you felt the tremor of his other hand holding yours above your head. 

“Oh my.” A sultry laugh bubbled from your lips and they curved into the sordid smile Sam had given you. “I have you all figured out.”

He released you as quick as he had pinned you, taking the bottle of vodka and drinking straight from the bottle. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know you are just bursting with rage, you can barely contain it beneath that cool facade.” You stepped up to him and he stepped back as you voiced his very fears aloud. “You are so desperate for some semblance of control, that’s why you have come here, that’s what you are looking for.”

His eyes widened as you revealed the truth and this time he stood frozen as you stepped closer. “Let me tell you a secret, Dimitri, you can’t control what you don’t embrace.”

“How can you possibly know this?” he asked in defeat, the bottle nearly breaking in the tight hold. “You don’t know me, I would remember meeting you.”

You smiled at the implied complement and trailed a finger along the lapel of his long black duster. “I came here looking for the very same thing. I was trained just as you were, bottling up my emotions until I thought I would explode.”

He caught your wrist before your touch could travel any lower and he winced as he asked the question he needed answered. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“No,” you admitted, seeing the hope fade from his eyes, “I found something better.”

You took the bottle from him and grabbed his hand, towing him towards one of many doors that led other areas of the Underworld, a small city in its own right. He let you lead the way, trusting his own ability to fight his way back to the exit if he needed. You had felt the muscles under his clothes and knew he would have no problem cutting through the security - they were there more to keep the Moroi men in check than anything else. 

“Dare I ask where you are taking me?” 

You grinned over your shoulder, the dim lighting making his sharp cheekbones even more defined and adding to his handsome features. “To the Outlet.”

He frowned at the name. “Is that a shop?”

“Not quite.”

A deep rumble rattled the light hanging from the ceiling and he released your hand to take a fighting stance, protectively moving closer. The idea of him protecting a stranger seemed to fit with his serious nature and you normally would have laughed but instead you found it endearing. 

“Relax, big boy,” you purred as you reached the door and turned the handle. “Save your energy, you’re gonna need it.”

The rumble turned to a roar as the door swung open to reveal an arena, a crowd swelling around a cage where two fighters were laying into each other. Money was changing hands quicker than it could be counted and Dimitri looked as surprised as you had been your first time here too. 

“Drink up, handsome, you’re on next.” You tossed him the vodka bottle but he shook his head and handed it back. 

“If I wanted to fight I would've stayed at home.” 

“That is training,” you said as you pushed him against the door he was heading back to, grabbing a fist full of his shirt. “This is fighting, with no rules, no referees, no judgement. It is raw and uncontrolled.”

He scoffed and swiped his forearm up to break your hold but you were quicker. You used his own momentum to turn him and pinned his arm above his head as you pressed your body to his back. “One fight. If you last the first round and still want to leave then no one will stop you.”

You stepped back despite enjoying the warmth of his body and the scent of his cologne and leather duster. He seemed to almost vibrate as he slowly turned and you felt his rage burning beneath the surface of his skin. His hands turned to fists at his sides and his feet widened to a better balanced stance. 

“There it is,” you purred, “embrace that darkness, Dimitri.”

The bell of the final round rang out and you turned to see the cage being unlocked, one of the fighters crumpling to the mat before they could leave. It wasn’t uncommon for the fights to end with knockouts so there were medics on hand to carry the man out. 

“Come on,” you chirped happily as you pushed your way through the crowd. “Boris!”

The beefy middle aged dhampir who ran The Outlet grinned at the sight of you and whistled loudly, the crowd parting at the signal he gave them. You skipped through the gap, waving to a few friends along the way before Boris pulled you into a hug that lifted your feet off the ground. “Gorgeous, been a while since you blessed us with your beauty.”

“You know how it is, it's easy to lose track of time down here.” You punched him on the arm, testing his reflexes but for all his muscle, it slowed him down and he grunted at the hit. “I come bearing gifts.”

“You brought a guardian.” He didn’t sound too happy at the sight of Dimitri but he sighed and waved a hand towards the cage. 

“Aren’t you all guardians?” Dimitri asked, letting you pull his duster off to drape it over an empty chair. 

“Not active, we don’t normally let the actively employed ones down here.” It went without saying why. They were sworn to the crown and that was bad for business in places like the Underworld. “But I think you’re the kind of man who can keep a secret.”

You pushed him towards the cage and followed him up the handful of steps. Blood stained the mat, some faded, some fresh, and the coppery tang of it lingered with the scent of sweat. It wasn’t until he reached the centre of the mat that he turned and opened his arms expectantly. “So who am I fighting?”

You smirked as the cage door slammed shut and the locks engaged automatically. They were timed and wouldn’t open until the round finished, no matter how injured the fighters were. 

“Three guesses, Sherlock.” You raised your fists and eased your foot back so you were in position. “Don’t hold your punches, I promise I won’t.”

The bell rang and you leapt forward with an agility that surprised him once again. Your fist narrowly missed his face as he spun away at the last moment, ducking low and sweeping his foot out. You jumped over the kick that would have knocked you to your ass and slammed your body into his, pushing him into the cage walls. 

There was no crowd, no noise, nothing outside of the octagon that kept the two of you contained. He was wholly focused on you, circling around like a predator fixated on his prey. The tight rein he held on his rage was slipping through his fingers with each passing second and you were ready for him to lose control.

Turning your back on him, he couldn't resist taking the opportunity you presented but you were already moving. You sprinted at the cage wall, leaping high up the chain fence before throwing yourself into a backflip. The mat jarred your knees as you landed behind Dimitri but that was a pain you would face tomorrow, right now your opponent was finally realising fighting like he was training wasn’t going to win the fight. 

You saw the moment he lost control and let go of the restraint that kept his punches in check. A smile even played at his lips as he looked over you appreciatively, albeit cockily. 

“That’s a nice party trick, kотик,” he teased as he stepped closer, daring you to back up but you refused. 

“Can’t say I took Russian as an elective, but I hope that means something sexy.”

He smirked and you narrowed your eyes as he stood toe to toe. “It means kitten.”

He laughed as he blocked the knee you had aimed at his favourite body part, his own attack coming hard and fast. You blocked the jab to your ribs but missed the hook that caught your cheek. The blow sent you sprawling across the mat with the arena spinning around you and it took a second to right yourself and find Dimitri staring at his fist like it was his enemy. 

“Is that all you’ve got?” you taunted as you pushed yourself to your feet and wiped the blood that trickled down your cheek. “My four year old niece can punch harder than that.”

Dimitri tore his gaze away from his fist and rubbed his chest where you had landed a blow. “If she’s related to you I don’t doubt it.”

Boris slapped the cage angrily as he shouted, “Less talking, more fighting.”

You shared a grin with Dimitri and gave him a little bow, “After you.”

“Ladies f-”

You feinted a high attack and his arms rose to block you but dropped to your knees, sliding across the mat and slamming your elbow in the meat of his thigh. He dropped to his knee with a pained grunt and glared at you, though a glimmer of amusement shone through. “Did you seriously just charlie horse me?”

“Payback for calling me kitten.”

He tried to stand but winced and you held your hand out, feeling slightly guilty. The smirk came too late and you realised you had been played. He pulled you off balance as his shoulder collided with your stomach and he flipped you over onto your back. The attack had knocked the air out of you and you couldn’t escape the hold he had as he pinned your arms and legs to the mat. 

You bucked your hips trying to shake him but froze as you felt just how much he was enjoying letting go of his control. Heat spread across your body and you could help rolling your hips again, this time with a new purpose. 

“Kотик,” he groaned as he leaned closer, “don’t tempt me.”

The bell rang and you were torn from his intense stare as you remembered the audience, suddenly hearing their screams and demand for more. Cool air rushed in as Dimitri stood up and pulled you to your feet, the cage door swinging open. 

“One round as promised,” you said with a pout as you looked to the exit.

“What if I said I didn’t want to leave? At least not yet.” He asked as he gently touched the cut on your cheek, the bleeding already stopped. 

“Then I would say, good, because there’s plenty more ways to release that rage than just fighting.” You closed the gap and laced your fingers in his damp hair before kissing him. It was just as ferocious as the fight and you moaned when he bit your lip before pulling away. “Are you up for it?”

He gripped your hips and pulled them closer to his, proving just how up for it he was. “Lead the way, kотик.”

To be continued...Click here for Chapter Two

[ameliajonezzz]

Can someone please write a dimitri Enzo Antonio x hoppers sister. Like they are checking eachother out in the scene where jopper reunite and flirt and stuff PLEASE

[drainedfelsh]

send some steve, robin, nancy, eddie anyone in st4 >__< headcannons can b super sweet funny or smutty jst wanna fill up my head w steve <33

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

Imagine if Y/n and tom blyth played Anya and Dimitri from Anastasia. 😍⁉️

Anastasia || Tom Blyth x actress!reader

A/n: IM SO INLOVE W UR IDEA. also, if u haven’t already seen Anastasia? wtf r u doing? WATCH IT RN. guys you’re gonna have to imagine a lot bc of the pics 😭 but dw I wrote whos supposed to be who so it’ll make more sense!!! p.s should I do a fic where tom x actress!reader is in bridgerton?? 👀 send requests if u have any ideas.

Divider by @pommecita

~

y/n_y/l/n_fp

Liked by y/n_y/l/n, y/l/nupdates, and 297,484 others

Y/n and Tom spotted out in London today!! CAN WE TALK ABT HER HAIR OMG??? ITS RED?! AHHHHH

view more comments

user49: OMG SHE LIKED! CONGRATS

↘️ y/n_y/l/n_fp: IM STILL IN SHOCK 😮

user16: RED HAIR Y/N YESS

user037: what hair colour can she not pull off. lets be real here 🤷🏻‍♀️

user88: they’re still together? even after the rumours of her cheating on Tom w her co-star? 💀

↘️ y/n_y/l/n_fp: they’re called rumours for a reason babes x

user20: EVERYONE GO WATCH ‘HER’ RN

↘️ user643: y/n ate in that movie

↘️ user017: it’s so good 😭

↘️ user03: she was so cringe in that movie 😐

↘️ user94: if it was so cringe, why should she be nominated for an Emmy then? 😃

user55: maybe it’s for her upcoming film that she talked about in an interview?

~

mtv

Liked by madelyncline, rachelzegler, y/n_y/l/n, tomblyth and 14,307,583 others

it’s been announced that ‘it couple’ Y/n Y/l/n and Tom Blyth will be playing Anya and Dimitri in Lockshin’s upcoming live action adaptation of Anastasia! Lockshin says to expect release dates soon.

view all comments

y/n_y/l/n: yayayyayayaa

madelyncline: I’m so excited @y/n_y/l/n 😆

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: ME TOO!

user927: ya’ll I’ve been waiting for them to do a live action movie of Anastasia. Just can’t believe y/n and Tom will be in it 😭

user05: OMG OMG OMG OMG

user2: THEY’RE PERFECT FOR ANYA AND DIMITRI

user73: finally they’re in a movie together, can’t wait to see their chemistry even more on screen!

user84: with Michael Lockshin directing and Y/n and Tom as the main characters, I just KNOW this movie is gonna be so good.

user10: SO HER RED HAIR WAS FOR THIS MOVIE?!

user42: y/n and tom are so anya and dimitri coded 🥹

~

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[oizysian]

My Wanda | Wanda Maximoff

Pairing: Dark!Mafia Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader Warnings: brief mention of murder, anal play, tears, cold Wanda Word Count: 2k Genre: smut Summary: Y/N just wants Wanda’s love again.

AN: I’m not very good writing dark characters so she’s not very dark, I’m sorry! I tried my best.

• Kinktober Masterlist •

I knew the Maximoff twins long before Wanda was in any sort of position of power. I knew them back when they were working for whoever would give them a chance. He was a thief and she was a conman - and they were both exceptional at what they did.

When they started their own mini empire, working for themselves and making their own connections, another budding family in New York caught wind and tried to put an end to them and their ambitious new family.

Pietro, Wanda’s twin brother was killed one night while he was out on a job - a job that Wanda later found out was a hit and Pietro had been set up. I comforted her the night she found out about her brother, her only living blood in this world. That’s when she became serious about the business. She changed that night, her eyes not holding the same spark as they used to, her smile never really reaching her eyes anymore.

She took solace in me, and slowly I fell in love with her. We became lovers, but nothing more on Wanda’s end, as she felt it was too dangerous to get close to anyone ever again.

She quickly found respect once she found out who killed her brother, and took her time killing them in return, torturing them and giving them the pain she had felt tenfold.

She came home that night covered in blood and that was the first time I had seen her cry since Pietro’s death. I washed her as she sobbed, mourning her brother and her innocence.

She had two men that would do anything for her, that would lay down and die for her if she so asked them to. Their names were Dimitri and Leo, two boys she had known in the orphanage back in Sokovia and took under her wing when she and Pietro started their own family. They helped her murder the man that killed her brother and they stayed by her side, no matter what.

Dimitri and Leo were loyal, like guard dogs, and she made sure they were also loyal to me. I felt uncomfortable having one, or both of them, following me as I went shopping or if I just went out for a walk, but Wanda demanded it. She wouldn’t allow someone else to be taken from her.

Even though she wouldn’t commit to me, she would never look at another person the way she looked at me. I knew she loved me, but she was afraid, and I loved her enough to know that and be patient with her.

But the more power she gained, the more hardened she became. I had to remind myself constantly that she loved me, even when she fucked me. She became rough with me, almost callous, using my body simply for her own pleasure.

“My beautiful malyshka,” she purred as she thrusted her strap deeper into my mouth. “You take my cock so well.”

I held back tears, bobbing my head up and down her long, thick shaft. She had my hair wrapped in her fist as she pulled me down into her length. I nearly gagged as I took it to the hilt, doing anything and everything to please her.

I knew she got off on the power she had over me, and to be honest, I also got off on the immense amount of power she had. To an extent, I enjoyed being used by her, but afterwards I just wanted to be treated sweetly, kindly, and with love.

She pulled me off of her cock, my spit trailing from my tongue to the tip, my eyes glistening with unshed tears as she tilted my head up to look at her.

She was completely naked in front of me, save for the strap secured tightly around her hips, and I was mesmerized by the sight of her.

Her brown locks fell past her shoulders, barely brushing along the top of her perfect breasts, her thick lips parted ever so slightly, her green eyes, deep and dark, stared down at me, and her hands, adorned with silver rings, gripped at me as she helped me up from my kneeling position.

“Detka,” she whispered as she ran her hands along my hips, my skin forming goosebumps at her touch. “You know how hard work has been lately.” I nodded, knowing she had stayed up late nights trying to solve problems or help people instead of sleeping. “I need to just … use you. Okay? Just for tonight.”

My eyes were round like saucers as she turned me around, my back pressed against her front, her cock pushing into my ass and her lips on my neck. I almost gave in immediately at the feel of her against me, holding me against her and her teeth gently digging into my sensitive flesh.

I let out a moan as she pushed us towards the bed, my hands going out to catch myself as we landed on the soft mattress, her weight pressing me down.

Her hips moved against my own and I gripped at the sheets below me, my body trembling with need. She raised herself up off of me and spread my cheeks, letting the silicone dick slip between them as she rutted against me.

“W-Wanda,” I whimpered softly, turning my head to look at her. “What -”

“Shh, malyshka, shh.” I trusted her, but sometimes she was unpredictable and that made me nervous. “I’m gonna take good care of you.”

My heart fluttered in my chest at her words as she thrust herself against me, her fingers digging into my hips. She pulled me up to meet her thrusts and I pushed myself up on my elbows so I could grind my hips into hers.

“Oh, malyshka,” she cooed, “You’re being such a good girl for me.”

I bit my lip as she slid the cock down between my legs, letting the tip hit my clit.

I let out a whimpering cry as she slid into me, my cunt milking her desperately as she began fucking me. I could feel her eyes burning into me, watching me as I took every inch of her.

“You’re perfect - fuck - look at that pussy.”

“Wanda …” I moaned, blushing furiously when I realized she was admiring me so intimately.

The squelching sound of my pussy taking her strap was loud in the quiet room, the only other sound was the squeaking of the bed as she pounded into me.

She slapped my ass roughly and I pressed my face into the bed sheets, stifling my cries as she continued to spank me.

“I want to hear you,” she said, her accent thick. “I want to hear you crying for me.”

She smacked me again and I jerked, my hands balled up into fists to try and control my emotions.

“Did you hear me?” Her hand came down on my ass hard and I cried out, my pussy throbbing and my body aching.

“Yes, ma’am!” I cried, my tears falling onto the sheets below me.

“Again.” She demanded with another slap.

“Yes, ma’am!”

She admired my reddened cheeks, smiling as she heard me crying softly beneath her. She knew I loved it; I loved being treated like this.

She pulled out of me, leaving me wanting as she flipped me over onto my back. I hissed as my ass met the cool bed sheets and she hummed at the sound. She took hold of the cock and slapped it against my aching cunt, my whole body jerking towards her at the feel.

“So sensitive. Are you close, detka?”

I nodded and she smiled down at me, reaching up to pinch one of my nipples between her talented fingers.

I cried out softly, my hands on either side of my head, knowing very well that she loved when I showed my submission to her like that. I wouldn’t touch her or myself unless I had her permission to.

She tugged and twisted my nipple until it was red with abuse, then brought her head down and sucked the other one into her mouth, her teeth scraping along my hardened bud roughly.

I could feel myself getting closer and closer to release with everything she did to me. If only she would touch my pussy …

She bit down into my nipple and I cried out, my body pressing up into hers. She lifted her head up, a string of saliva hanging from her lips, and smiled at me.

“We need to get these beautiful nipples pierced.” She brought her hand up to my wet breast and slapped it. “Imagine how sensitive you’ll be then.”

I shuddered, my mind beginning to get fuzzy at her words. I’d let her do whatever she wanted to me. She dressed me, she fed me, she fucked me, I was hers to do with as she pleased.

She licked her lips and propped herself up, gripping the cock between her legs and rubbing it along my puffy slit, my wetness spreading all along my thighs.

“What a mess you made.” She hummed softly. “I’ll have to clean you up when I’m done with you.”

I could feel my legs trembling as she slid the cock towards my hole, slight panic setting in when I realized she intended to fuck my ass.

“Relax,” she said as she inched it in, my whole body tensing as she forced herself into my ass. “Relax.”

“W-Wanda,” I whimpered. “I can’t …”

“You will.” She grunted as she continued to slide her slippery cock inside of me.

It felt like fire as she slid, at least half of it, in and out of my ass. I grabbed at the sheets, my jaw falling slack as it started to feel somewhat good. It still hurt, but Wanda managed to make anything feel pleasurable after a while.

She reached her free hand down to play with my clit and my eyes fell shut at the feel, my climax approaching rapidly.

“I’m gonna cum inside your ass.” She groaned, her hips jerking as her hand moved to the base of the cock, ready to squeeze the balls to squirt her cum into me.

I came at her words, at her touch, at the feel of her inside me, and suddenly she let the cock spurt its cum into me, heightening my high. I cried out softly, my hips rising to meet her thrusts as she fucked the cum into my ass.

She leaned down towards me, wrapping her free hand around my throat and looked into my eyes as she continued to fuck me. She squeezed slightly and I couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of my airway being constricted. If she killed me now, I wouldn’t mind. I would still love her more than words could ever say.

Her hand slid from the cock to my clit and I tensed underneath her, my whole body humming with arousal.

“Give me one more, malyshka, just one more.”

I felt myself cumming again, white hot pleasure washing over me as I clenched around nothing.

“God, I wish I had a cock so I could feel this tight pussy squeeze the cum right out of me.”

I whimpered softly as two of her fingers slid into me, feeling my walls clench around her.

“Yes, just like that,” she mused softly, thrusting her fingers into me gently. “So fucking tight.”

“Wanda,” I whispered. “Kiss me.”

She looked into my eyes and for a brief moment I could see her love for me in them, but then they darkened and she pulled away from me.

“Get cleaned up and get dressed.” She said as she stood from the bed, unhooking the strap from around her hips. “I’ve got a meeting in an hour and I need you to stay out of sight.”

I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands as I held back tears. She could fuck me like she hated me, but she couldn’t even show me that she loved me in private.

“Do you understand?” She asked and I nodded.

“Yes.” I whispered sadly.

She loved me, but she couldn’t be in love with me. She could be sweet and gentle with me sometimes, but showing any affection was off limits. Was this how it truly had to be?

I missed the days when she used to kiss me, when she used to be loving and tender with me. I miss my Wanda.

•

@natashaswife4125 @poison-blackheart @aemilia19 @claxre-bear @dorabledewdroop

[unabashegirl]

Vicious 4 || Harry Styles x Mafia

Summary: Harry Styles, the cold and calculating son of a powerful mafia don, must consolidate power after his father's passing. He faces challenges from his unpredictable younger brother, Silas, and navigates a complex world of alliances, ruthless decisions, and family loyalty. Amidst the intrigue, the elegant and alluring Y/N Castellano, the daughter of an Italian mafia boss, attends the funeral and finds herself drawn to Harry. As power dynamics shift and the future remains uncertain, the story explores the dark and dangerous allure of the mafia, the weight of family legacies, and the potential for unexpected connections in a world defined by secrecy and ruthlessness.

Author's note: asked to get tagged! Here is my Patreon in case you want to get ahead and get early access to more chapters.

word count: 2.0K

masterlist

The scent of blood permeated not only one's nose but also clung to hair, clothes, and anything one wore. The atmosphere in the chambers was perpetually cold and damp, creating an unsettling ambiance. It was a dark, eerie place, one that instilled fear in young Harry when he was just a boy. Back then, he knew it as the forbidden place where his father would take people to "take care" of them.

It remained off-limits until Harry turned fifteen, and Arthur began to introduce him to the macabre secrets within. The first day proved harrowing; overwhelmed by anxiety and the overwhelming scent of blood, Harry couldn't endure it. He vomited and cried to his mother, vowing never to return. However, that resolution crumbled as his father included him in the sadistic practices of torturing their enemies.

Arthur meticulously groomed him, desensitizing him to the gruesome reality until he could slit someone's throat without flinching. The cold, merciless chambers became a training ground for the heir, shaping him into the unyielding figure he would eventually become.

Harry lingered in the shadows of the chamber, where the man accused of desecrating his father's corpse sat. Bound to a wooden chair in the room's center, the accused man met the somber gazes of the onlooking men. Sympathy tinged their expressions, but a collective understanding resonated - what needed to be done had to be done. Even in death, loyalty to the former boss persisted. Silence enveloped the chamber as Harry contemplated the situation, contemplating the best course of action.

"What did you plan to do with the body?" Harry inquired, his voice cutting through the chamber's heavy air as he methodically made his way from the back to the front. He aimed to confront the accused, locking eyes with him before delivering the punishment that awaited.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the man named Dimitri retorted smugly, a hint of defiance in his demeanor. He understood the perilous situation he was in, yet he remained prepared to face the consequences. Dimitri had been sent on a specific mission, aware of the risks involved in targeting Arthur. What he hadn't anticipated was Harry's foresight in stationing men to guard his father's grave.

Harry cast a brief glance at Lex, and in that moment, the first blow landed on his face, sending him into a quick daze. Dimitri hadn't seen it coming, unaware of Lex standing beside him.

"I'll ask again. What were you planning?" Harry queried, turning his back to walk up to the tools laid out for the impending ordeal.

"You're just like your father. A fuckin' prick," Dimitri spat out, the second hit landing with brutal force, rupturing his eardrum and filling his senses with a piercing ringing. Despite the pain, a twisted laughter escaped Dimitri's lips, echoing through the chamber.

“You don't know who I am? I was there that day. I can still here your mother’s screams” Dimitri taunted in his mother language, revealing to Harry who had sent him, striking at the rawest nerve.

Harry moved swiftly, catching Dimitri off guard. A knife sliced through his leg, triggering screams and shouts that fueled Harry's anger. Dimitri's calculated reference to Harry's mother only intensified the fury within him, leaving no room for remorse.

Harry moved quickly before Dimitri could realize what he was doing. A knife went through his leg. His screams and shouts fueled Harry’s anger. He had brought up his mother which only proved to Harry that he didn’t feel one bit remorseful.

“I will ruin you "Harry whispered back to Dimitri in Russian, his voice cold and resolute as he took hold of one of his hands. The room bore witness to the painful, torturous task ahead as Harry embarked on the painstaking process of pulling off each of Dimitri's nails. The chamber echoed with Dimitri's agonized cries, a symphony of suffering orchestrated by the relentless pursuit of revenge.

Amidst Dimitri's agonized cries, the chamber transformed into a chilling tableau of retribution. Harry, unmoved by the torment he inflicted, continued his methodical descent into sadism. The room's atmosphere thickened with tension as each nail was ruthlessly torn away, leaving Dimitri writhing in unbearable pain.

Harry's movements were deliberate, fueled by a potent mix of anger, vengeance, and the haunting memories Dimitri had sought to exploit. The language of retribution spoke through every tortured scream, a visceral manifestation of the vendetta playing out in the dimly lit chamber.

As the gruesome task unfolded, the weight of Dimitri's betrayal echoed through the room. He had ventured into the territory of the family, a realm where loyalty was sacrosanct, and his actions had triggered a cascade of brutal consequences.

The air was charged with the scent of blood and the cacophony of anguish. Harry, unrelenting, continued his merciless pursuit, driven by a determination to extract the full toll for the transgressions committed against his family. The echoes of Dimitri's cries reverberated through the chamber, marking the relentless march of retribution in the heart of the shadows.

“This fucker” Federico muttered under his breath as he rose from his seat once again. The wait for Harry's return had stretched beyond an hour. "How can he keep us waiting?"

Y/N remained silent, wary of uttering words that might incite her father's anger. Her mind, however, couldn't help but wander, envisioning what Harry was currently engaged in and whose fate he was sealing. Having grown up within the mafia, Y/N was no stranger to the methods employed to handle business. From a young age, she had clandestinely listened to her father discussing the gruesome details of his operations.

"Why are you so quiet?" he asked her in Italian. "You've barely said anything since we came."

"I am fine," Y/N responded, her gaze fixed on the backyard of the estate. "I've just been analyzing everything."

"You have to report everything back to me," Federico declared, his eyes scanning the estate's surroundings. "I must know everything that happens within this house." The motive behind agreeing to Y/N's marriage to Harry became clear—Federico sought intel and marrying her off to Harry was the strategic move to have someone on the inside.

As Federico spoke, Y/N nodded subtly, concealing her inner reservations about the web of alliances and deceit that surrounded her. The weight of her dual role—Harry's wife and her father's informant—pressed upon her, creating a delicate balance she had to maintain.

Federico's watchful eyes turned back to Y/N, a stern expression etched on his face. "Your role is crucial," he emphasized. "We need to know Harry's every move. The success of our family depends on it.”

Y/N nodded again, her gaze flickering toward the entrance as anticipation built. The door creaked open, and Harry stepped into the room. His demeanor was composed, betraying nothing of the tumultuous affairs that had transpired in his absence

"You're still here," Harry pointed out as he strode into his office, taking a seat behind his desk.

"Is everything alright?" Federico inquired, his curiosity evident. He wanted to understand what had caused the delay.

"He won't be a problem anymore," Harry replied succinctly, weariness evident in his voice. "Is there anything else pending?" His desire for a drink and a moment of respite was palpable. The mention of his late mother had taken an emotional toll, a vulnerability that he seldom allowed to surface. She didn’t deserve what had been done to her. She was an angel among all the devils.

Y/N observed the change in Harry's appearance—different suit, bruised knuckles, slightly damp hair, and flattened curls. Something had transpired, and she couldn't help but wonder about the details.

"Just determining where the wedding will take place. I personally think it should be in Italy, at our home," Federico suggested. However, Harry shook his head, instantly dismissing the idea. He wasn't about to lead his men into a foreign country, into the lion's den, even if they were allies. Harry knew better than to underestimate potential risks.

"Here is best. Safer," Harry asserted, leaving no room for debate. The location of his wedding wasn't up for negotiation with Federico. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to take care of." With that, Harry signaled the end of the conversation, his focus already shifting to the matters that awaited his attention.

Federico stormed out of the door, visibly irritated by the dismissal of his suggestions. Y/N discreetly rose from her seat, feeling the weight of Harry's intense gaze on her.

Lex wasted no time entering the office once the Italians had departed. "How was that? When are you getting married?" he inquired, adding with a smirk, "She's not ugly."

"In a month," Harry revealed, a sardonic laugh escaping him at the absurdity of Federico's proposal. "Federico wanted us to have it in Italy."

"Fucker," Lex chuckled. "What are we doing with the Russians?"

"I think we should send them back a gift, don't you think?" Harry suggested, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. He looked up at Lex, who nodded in understanding. "Send back what they sent," Harry instructed. Lex acknowledged the order and said, "Take care of that and let me know when the package is ready." The plan was set in motion, the wheels of retribution silently turning in the shadows.

Lex nodded, acknowledging Harry's directive. "Consider it done." he affirmed, a steely determination in his eyes.

Harry lingered in his office for a few more hours, seeking solace amidst the familiar surroundings. Pouring a glass of whiskey and lighting a cigarette, he settled into his seat, attempting to find a moment of respite. The day had been a whirlwind of chaos, and though the desire for rest weighed heavily on him, the pressing tasks ahead refused to be ignored.

The dim glow of the office cast a reflective ambiance as Harry contemplated the intricate web of responsibilities that now rested on his shoulders. Each sip of whiskey brought a momentary warmth, and the tendrils of smoke from his cigarette curled lazily in the air.

With a few more meetings lingering on the horizon, the dimly lit corridors of the English manor buzzed with the hushed conversations of individuals seeking Harry's favor. The air was thick with the weight of their requests, each plea underlined by an unspoken acknowledgment of the shifting dynamics within the English mafia. These were more than routine meetings; they were symbolic gestures of allegiance, a testament to Harry's emerging reign and the challenges that lay ahead.

As the last petitioner departed, their gratitude hanging in the air, Harry emerged from his office. The room behind him held the scent of aged leather and the echoes of decisions made, a silent witness to the myriad responsibilities he bore as the new don.

Intent on locating Charlie to discuss matters of importance, Harry's purposeful stride led him to the foyer. There, amidst the surroundings, he unexpectedly discovered her presence. YN sat on an intricately patterned rug, her form a stark contrast to the grandeur that surrounded her. Two suitcases, well-worn and marked by the passage of time, stood sentinel by her side.

"What are you still doing here?" Harry's voice echoed through the space, genuine surprise etched on his face as he beheld the unexpected scene. His eyes, sharp and discerning, sought answers. "Where is Federico?" The inquiry hung in the air, anticipation threading through the atmosphere like a subtle current, as the layers of loyalty, alliances, and unspoken tensions played out in the grand foyer of the manor.

click here to read chapter 5

[lookwhatyoumademedohaha]

And that kids is, how I met your mother   Chapter 4 - Someone to Stay

You were alone, left out in the cold Clinging to the ruin of your broken home Too lost and hurting to carry your load We all need someone to hold

You've been fighting the memory, all on your own Nothing worsens, nothing grows I know how it feels being by yourself in the rain We all need someone to stay We all need someone to stay

Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope? At the end of the day you were helpless Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?

Summary: You feel grief and loss keenly, the loss of innocence and family but as you confide your secrets to Nikolai Lantsov, you feel a beginning of a home in him. 

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader, Nikolai Lantsov x Six of Crows Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky x Reader (Platonic), Nina Zenik x Reader (Platonic), Genya Safin x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: Pure tooth rotting fluff, angst and comfort, lots of humor, unrequited love that might be requited, denial, pining, mentions of death and violence, Kaz Brekker being an absolute asshole. 

A/N: Hi everyone! I’m very grateful for your kindness, love and support that encourages me to keep going! I apologize for the delay but here is the long awaited Chapter 4 to this work, you have all been waiting for patiently so thank you for your patience!  I hope you all like it and I’m excited! Let me know your thoughts and comments on my work because I really struggled through writer’s block on this one.

Let me know if you want a cast list for the below characters introduced! I’ve already made one, so I’m super excited. 

I love you all! Happy reading!

Chapter 1 - Until I Found Her

Chapter 2 - Labyrinth

Chapter 3 - Call it what you want

Chapter 5 - Cornelia Street

Nikolai sat lazily on the couch as he listened to Zoya, Genya, Tamar, Tolya and David converse animatedly by the fireside with coffee and brandy after a long day of meetings as the rain fell outside. Nikolai felt content as he listened to Zoya and Genya argue about blonde or brunette hair, simple and ordinary things and his hazel eyes naturally found and fell on you. Nikolai smiled softly and warmly as he drank in the sight of you lay your legs on Nina’s lap as she read a book while you were completely focused and dedicated to sketching something in your sketchbook. Nikolai gazed at you in wonder and adoration because you looked absolutely beautiful, your brow furrowed in concentration, your eyes gleaming with imagination and reminiscence and your face glowing with relaxation and thoughtfulness. 

Nikolai’s thoughts were interrupted by a sharp nudge to his ribs as he looked at Zoya who was looking at him with a knowing look “When are you going to ask her out?”

“I - what - no - “

“Please spare us all and tell her how you feel. Or at least ask her out on a date.” said Genya wearing a knowing expression as she grinned teasingly exchanging subtle looks with Zoya as they remembered their bet “Your pining and puppy dog eyes are getting sad to watch. And besides, she’s been out and about with certain people who have eyes on her.”

Nikolai sat up a little straighter, his expression one of pure curiosity as he looked at his friends “Who?

“Well, the lords and ladies of the Ravkan Court are quite bold in their advances toward her, inviting her to parties and picnics but there is one in particular who is determined to pursue a romantic relationship with her... Duke Dimitri Theronton.” informed Zoya in a matter - of - fact voice with a knowing gleam in her eyes as she looked at Nikolai who looked absolutely jealous as his fists clenched in anger. “He has been around Y/N quite a lot accompanying her to his parties, horse races and inviting her for walks and picnics. He’s infatuated with her.”

Nikolai knew Duke Dimitri Theronton who had been one of Vasily’s best friends and had bullied Nikolai in his childhood, accompanying his brother to Caryeva indulging himself in the pleasure of women and horses, wild parties and drunk debauchery. A pit of protectiveness grew within him at the thought of the wild and flirtatious Duke who slept with men and women he tossed aside thoughtlessly after using them, being within an inch of your presence.  

“If you don’t do something soon, you might lose your chance with Y/N.” encouraged Genya with a twinkle in her eyes as she winked at Zoya as they both observed Nikolai’s jealous and protective expression at the mention of Duke Theronton who was wooing you “You need to man up, Nikolai.”

“Man up? I’m sorry but I don’t see gender, sir.” replied Nikolai sassily as he looked at Genya who rolled her eyes at him and he sighed “I do really like Y/N but I can’t make her choice for her.”

“Okay but you at least need to show her that you are an option. If you don’t, she won’t know that you are a choice.” replied Zoya honestly as she leaned back on her armchair because she was not going to lose her money to Nina. “Why don’t you ask her out... just the two of you? Please just do it and spare us the suffering.”

“And the loss of money.” piped in David with a glint in his eyes while Genya tried to shush him and Zoya shot him a fierce glare. “There’s so many bets on both of you so you have to get your act together, Nikolai because Genya can’t lose her bet to Nadia and Nina and Zoya can’t lose her money to Nina, Tamar and Tolya, and Tamar can’t lose her money to Tolya.”

Nikolai cocked his head as he looked at his friends with indignation and amazement as he spluttered understanding dawning on his face “Are you betting on me and Y/N? How long has this been going on?” 

“I mean, it has been going on for a long time. Everyone is in on it even the servants and the council.” said David helpfully as he scribbled on his notebook “They all know you really like her because you look at her like an unsolved equation you want to solve.”

“This is outrageous!” exclaimed Nikolai feeling heat creep up to his cheeks in humiliation and embarrassment at the thought of his own subjects betting on his personal life and glared at Genya and Zoya “I assume you two are responsible for this mess!”

“It started as harmless fun between just a few of us but then the rest of the palace wanted to join in. It has turned into a very large betting pool.” explained Genya with a wide grin as she looked at Nikolai’s wide eyes of surprise while Zoya hid a smirk “Zoya handles the betting pool of the Little Palace. I handle the betting pool of the palace staff and Tamar handles the betting pool of the others who joined in.”

“I cannot believe you are betting on my love life! In fact I cannot believe the whole palace is betting on my love life!” exclaimed Nikolai in frustration and embarrassment as he stamped his foot in childish petulance. 

“Oh grow up. It’s just a bit of good fun to pass the time.” said Zoya easily with a smug smirk “Go ask Y/N out and win Nina and me three bets, won’t you?”

“I’m leaving.” announced Nikolai gathering the pieces of his broken dignity as he huffed and walked away from his friends amused laughter making his way toward you who had moved toward another sofa, far away from the fireplace. 

Nikolai’s heart fluttered as you looked up and smiled at him as he sat next to you “Hello darling. You could have joined us.”

You smiled at him as you stopped sketching and looked at him fondly “I just... I just wanted to be alone.”

Nikolai’s heart dropped as he saw quiet reminiscence and sadness dancing in your eyes “Oh. Shall I leave?”

“No. Stay with me.” you said firmly as you reached out for his hand and squeezed it gently, the warmth and tenderness of his hand seeping and mingling with yours as your fragile heart begged him to not leave you alone. 

Nikolai felt glad and happy knowing that he would give you anything you asked as he moved toward you and smiled when you placed your legs on his lap lazily and he lightly placed his hand on your ankles as he looked at you in curiosity and deep fondness “I’ll never leave you. I didn’t see you at all today, sweetheart. I almost sent search parties to look for you. I was worried. Where were you?”

“I spent the whole day in the chapel praying to the Saints and thinking. Then I went to the kitchen and had the prettiest cake. After that I went for a long walk out in the palace grounds and I just sat in the gardens until it got dark. Until Nina found me in the rain.” you said thoughtfully and quietly as you rubbed a butterfly crested ring on your finger “It was nice.”

Nikolai was surprised as he looked at you focus on your sketching again as he questioned in curiosity because he knew you weren’t particularly religious and your activities today felt slightly different “Why were you in the chapel?” 

“Come, my little butterfly. Let’s get you to bed and I’ll tell you a story. One that ends happily ever after.”

“It’s my father’s birthday.” the words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them as your eyes widened in shock at how easily you had confided this well kept secret to Nikolai whose hazel eyes sparkled with tender affection and soft understanding as he realized why you had done what you had done “I wanted to... I wanted to talk with him and celebrate his birthday with him, I suppose.”

You scoffed as you thought of how stupid you were “I’m so stupid. Throwing a birthday party for a dead father -”

But Nikolai placed his hand upon yours, his face etched with gentleness and tenderness as he looked at you with sincerity “It’s not stupid. It’s the most wonderful thing that you didn’t forget him. Your father is absolutely lucky to have you as a daughter.”

You smiled gratefully as you blinked back unshed tears as you looked away from Nikolai and focused on finishing your sketch and after a long moment, Nikolai who was full of curiosity because he wanted to know all about you, what your family was like and what you were like when you were a little girl as he asked “You don’t have to answer... but what was your father like?”

“My father...  I am told that he was a gangster who ran one of the most feared gangs in Ketterdam.” you said with a wide grin, your eyes twinkling in pride and amusement at how Nikolai’s jaw dropped in shock and amazement “He was a son of a Ravkan aristocratic family that ran away to find his fortune in Ketterdam and built himself a reputation in Ketterdam  as a violent and clever gangster who killed ruthlessly and instilled fear in his enemies, always ten steps ahead of them. No one dared to look at him the wrong way or they’d be cut, killed, murdered, shot and butchered whether they were innocent or guilty. Everyone called him mad and cold, ambitious and dark, cruel and vengeful man in a position of power and privilege who was the bringer of death and destruction.”

Nikolai was completely stunned and shocked as he stared at you with amazement and astonishment realizing that you were the daughter of a Ravkan born aristocrat who had become a feared gangster in Ketterdam and wondered what your childhood was like. He wondered whether your childhood was filled with violence and bloodshed, tears and pain as he stared at you in surprise. He couldn’t imagine your father as a notorious killing machine but yet the more he looked at you, the more it became certain that you were not afraid of your father. 

You smiled fondly at the memories of your father. He was a cold and cruel man to the rest of the world but he was the best father to you and your brother. Your father loved your brother unconditionally but he had always wanted a daughter so when you came along, he had doted on you with overwhelming affection and love. You remembered your father coming back home from work with a big smile on his face as he hugged you and held you in his arms as he told you how much he missed you. 

You heard the wheels of the carriage roll up the driveway as you raced your brother through the house in excitement and happiness at your father coming back home ignoring your mother’s shouts to stop running down the stairs as you ran out of the house and up to the carriage with a bright grin “Daddy!”

Out of the carriage stepped a handsome man made of cold steel and sharp edges dressed in all black but his hard face softened immensely as he smiled adoringly and lovingly at the sight of his beautiful daughter running toward him, feeling grateful to be alive as he hugged his precious daughter tightly in his arms. 

His daughter never knew how much he had missed holding her in his arms as he beamed brightly, his cold heart warm and happy as he took a good look at his daughter making sure she was healthy and unharmed, stroking her pretty hair that curled down to her shoulders. 

“Hello my Y/N! Come here, let me look at you! I missed you. I missed you so much, my sunshine.” confessed your father sincerely and lovingly, his heart full of gladness and affection as he cupped her chubby rosy cheeks in his hands, his eyes twinkling with warmth as he placed a loving kiss on her forehead. 

Your father would never miss an opportunity to carry you in his arms, holding the weight of you in his arms as he pressed kisses on your cheek and forehead adoringly. He’d tuck you to bed and read you stories in silly voices making you giggle and sing you lullabies until you fell asleep and stay by your side holding your little hand in his as he stared at you with overwhelming love as you slept. Your father would play games of hide and seek and pirates and privateers, princesses and dragons with you and your brother, his eyes gleaming with mischief and his expression one of good natured laughter. He’d hold your little hand in his as you both took long walks in the countryside as you chattered happily to him and he listened with a happy smile. 

Your father let you sit on his lap as he read his newspaper and his study where no one was allowed to enter, you were the exception as he let you sit on his lap as he read his documents and talked with you. When you were sick, your father would hold you in his arms and yell at the doctor to be careful with you and do their best and stay by your bedside as he held your hand gently and kindly. Your father was a gangster and yet he’d participate in your tea parties, style your hair, play with your dolls and beautiful dollhouse that he’d gift you every time he’d come back from Ketterdam. 

The world believed that your father was a man of cruelty but to you he was the man who cleaned and bandaged your first bruises and wounds and kissed them better gently as he advised you that pain only makes you stronger. Your father was the man who would never miss any of your birthdays, always celebrating each one extravagantly with beautiful iced cake as he wrapped his arm around you while you blew the candles and made a wish. He was a devoted and doting father who doted upon you showering you with pretty dresses of the latest fashion, sketch books and paintbrushes, the most beautiful dolls, puzzles and books for you to read. He was the man who had taught you to ride a horse and climb trees and fight with your bare hands and sewed buttons on your coat. When your father discovered your talent for art, he encouraged it. Your father encouraged your love of learning and was determined to teach you more about the world. 

“But my father made sure we lived far away from Ketterdam in the countryside, away from the violence and death. Family meant everything to him... it was his shelter from the storm. He was cold and cruel to the rest of the world but when he was home with us, he was nothing but loving and warm father who’d smile and laugh and play little practical jokes and spring surprises on us.” you recalled with a happy and fond smile as you thought of your father who hugged you warmly and danced with you around the house with a bright smile, spinning you in your brand new dress. “I know you won’t believe me but he was the best father in the world. I loved him so much and he loved me more than I deserved.”

Nikolai’s heart softened at the wholesome picture of a notorious gangster adoring his daughter with all heart and spoiling her as he replied “I’ll be truthful. If anyone else told me that, I wouldn’t believe them. But I believe you.”

“Why?”

“Your eyes. You remember him with so much love that it’s impossible to think that your father never loved you.” said Nikolai honestly and sincerely as your heart skipped a beat at how much he knew you and saw the smallest things you tried to hide and the world didn’t see “You can always tell a father’s merit in the way their child’s eyes light up and they talk about them. Your eyes sparkle happily and you talk about him as if he treated you better than a royal princess with so much love and warmth that you never felt left out and lonely.”

You were surprised at how much Nikolai understood you as you gazed at him in wonder and astonishment as you hesitated and contemplated on letting him on a secret you had never told anyone, not the Crows, not even Kaz as you finally looked at him and decided to take the leap of faith “My father loved me as his own. And that was impressive considering that... that... I was never his.”

Nikolai’s eyes widened in surprise as he saw you look at him vulnerably with sacred trust and faith mingled with fear of rejection and Nikolai understood how you were feeling better than anyone as he was filled with curiosity and understanding as he inquired “What do you mean?”

“You know, my father was known in Ketterdam as a man who would do a job at any cost. A man who didn’t care about the lives he took as long as it served his purpose. One stormy night, he found a baby girl on the steps of his office. Whoever left me there must have hoped that my father would kill me and get rid of me instantly.” you said as pain and hurt flashed in your face but your eyes twinkled with gratitude and amazement as you thought of your father who was not your flesh and blood that had chosen to love you instead of hurt you “My father thought I was a trap or a lost child at first but he decided to keep me and raise me as his own daughter.”

Nikolai’s eyes widened as his heart swelled in amazement and surprise at how caring and loving of a heart your father must have had to adopt and unconditionally love a child who was not his own flesh and blood. His breath caught in his throat as he realized that you were stripping down your walls as you confided your deepest secrets in him, the fact that your parents had abandoned you to die at a hands of a feared gangster but fate had a different plan for you. His heart sank in dismay and anger at the thought of your parents leaving you heartlessly as a baby girl in front of the doorstep of the most feared and ruthless gangster believing that he would dispose of your life mercilessly and pain clenched through him as he realized that you had been abandoned from birth. Nikolai met your vulnerable and hurt, soft and sincere gaze as he squeezed your hand gently amazed at the kind heart that the ruthless gangster had possessed to take in you as his own and raise you with so much love and affection and wondered why his own father couldn’t do the same. His own father who was of noble birth, a king, could not come to love Nikolai as his own child and be proud of him but a gangster with blood on his hands had loved you endlessly as his own. 

“Your father sounds amazing. Do you ever miss your real parents? Have you tried searching for them?” asked Nikolai in curiosity, not missing the hurt and anger that flashed in your eyes at the mention of your birth parents. 

“They left me to rot and die with no regard for my well being. Why would I search for the very people who abandoned me?” you shot back fiercely and passionately as your arms curled around yourself protectively as you felt tears spring up in your eyes. “I had real parents... I had my father and my brother. That was enough for me.”

“Daddy is home. Cake and cookies every night!”

“Your father sounds very different from mine.” confessed Nikolai honestly and sincerely as he felt your fingers intertwine with his gently and warmly as he thought of his own father who had never shown pride for him “Your father made you feel like you belong to him and never unloved and alone. You never had to earn your place in your family. Your father loved you from the moment he saw you. He took you as his own and never treated you any differently. You came into his life as a daughter and he never saw you as anything else.”

You were taken aback in surprise because Nikolai had understood your relationship with your father very well as he continued in quiet exhaustion and pain he tried to hide behind a bright smile “My father, the King of Ravka who was meant to represent everything good and noble always made me feel like I had no place in this world. I was never his son, always treated as a lowly and different bastard son who was of no interest and pride to him. Everything I had to do, I did to work hard to just earn a word of praise or a smile, earn all his love from him and try to belong to him.”

You didn’t understand why tears pricked your eyes but some part of you deep down understood how Nikolai felt as you held his hand in both of your hands wishing that his father was alive so you could grant him a slow and painful death as you thought of your own childhood when your mother had found pleasure in revealing that you were not their own flesh and blood. But then you remembered how your father had found you crying in the stables, as he told you the truth and reassured you that no matter what you didn’t owe him anything, he loved you from the moment he first saw you and that no matter what, you were always his daughter. 

You had your father comfort you and chase away the loneliness with his warmth and love but Nikolai had been alone for so long with no one to show him that he was wrong about himself. 

You remembered something that your father had said to you a long time ago as you looked at Nikolai who looked so lost and pained as you said softly “I’ll tell you something and I want you to remember it carefully. You don’t owe your family anything. You don’t owe anyone anything, Nikolai. Nikolai, you never should have had to earn your place in your family, bastard or blood. You came into your father’s life as a son and it was his place to love you endlessly. Love is not something that is earned. And you deserve all the love in the world, Nikolai.”

“Your father was wrong and heartless. Your whole family was completely wrong in making you feel as if you never belonged in your own home.” you said softly in distress and pain as you wrapped your arms around him tightly and hugged him “It’s not your fault. You are good enough. You were always good enough.”

Nikolai’s heart swelled with emotions that he thought he had locked up and moved on from as tears sprang into his hazel eyes as he blinked them, burying his head on your shoulder as he held you tightly in his arms, afraid that if he let you go, you would vanish. Nikolai felt a heavy burden lifted off his heart at hearing those words said with such raw sincerity and truth that he couldn’t help but choke back a sob because he didn’t understand how much his soul needed to hear that it wasn’t his fault, that he was good enough until now. 

You hugged Nikolai tightly as you buried your head on his shoulder as you felt his tears fall onto the fabric of your dress as you whispered “Hey... I got you.”

For some reason, this made Nikolai laugh in amusement and comfort as he smiled into your shoulder amidst the tears and then after a few moments broke away from you. There was a long moment of silence as you looked at Nikolai in concern and realized he wanted to be alone with his thoughts as you returned back to your sketch while he stared into the space thoughtfully. 

After a long moment, Nikolai broke the silence with a question “But you must have felt lonely. I mean, you had your brother but was it just both of you in the house?”

You thought of the big house that you grew up in. It had been empty and cold at times but you remembered mostly the warmth, light and laughter that spilled out of it whenever your father had company over. Your father’s closest group of fearsome and terrifying friends in his gang occupied the house most of the time when they weren’t busy maiming, killing, torturing, destroying and hurting people. But these people weren’t criminals to you, they were the closest thing you had to aunts and uncles who were incredibly fond of you. 

These people took care of you since you were a baby and they were the only family you ever knew. Uncle Sebastian was your father’s right hand man and second in command but you knew him as your godfather and playful uncle who was a very good sharpshooter that taught you how to handle guns, had the craziest ideas for pranks and spoiled you with cuddles and presents. Your father would recall with a fond smile how Uncle Sebastian would never leave your side once you were found and stayed by your side telling you stories and making you giggle and had difficulty leaving you until your father physically had to push him out of the house. There were times you did feel alone despite being surrounded by such love and warmth and you would tell Uncle Sebastian how you felt knowing that he of all people would understand. 

Your Uncle Minjun was calm and composed, always well dressed and smiled that pleased smile of love around his wife, Aunt Ari and a reserved fond smile for you. You had always respected Uncle Minjun who was well - educated and wise on very many great matters and one of your father’s closest advisors. You and your brother would listen with rapt attention and great pleasure his stories about his time at University of Ketterdam studying law. He’d encourage you and your brother’s love for learning and curiosity and encouraged you to experiment and explore. Your brother and you were curious as to how to build a bomb? Say no more, Uncle Minjun was your man. Your brother nurtured a fascination for flowers and plants? Don’t worry, Uncle Minjun was there to teach him how to grow and landscape a garden, providing him plenty of books about nature. Your brother voiced that he wanted to perhaps study International Relations at the University of Ketterdam? Uncle Minjun would place a stack of books for beginner’s in International Relations and provide a recommendation list of tutors who he thought could help him. You were fascinated with art? Oh Uncle Minjun had your back, bringing you books on art and art history and taking you to art exhibitions with Aunt Ari. If there was anyone who took a serious interest in your education as much as your father, it was your Uncle Minjun. In a world where the education of girls was not taken seriously, Uncle Minjun was one of the strongest advocates to your father voicing that you were a bright, smart and sharp girl, dismissing your mother’s opinions on the fact that you should marry and listening to your own opinions and treating you as an equal. It was because of him, your father had the finest governesses to teach you and keep you company and report your progress to him and Uncle Minjun who was so proud of you. 

Uncle Yuri was one of your favorites. While Uncle Minjun favored the indoors, sitting in a nice library, Uncle Yuri favored the great outdoors climbing trees and swimming in lakes. You had learned that Uncle Yuri was a demolitions expert for your father and could blow anything up and had helped you and your brother with Uncle Minjun to build bombs and grenades in a safe environment. His silly faces and jokes rivaled his husband, Uncle Sebastian’s making you giggle and laugh. Uncle Yuri had an easy and lovely smile and was playful and good natured always taking you and your brother outside to play and have picnics, long walks, feeding the ducks, swims, and carrying you on his shoulders as he chattered with you and your brother. Uncle Yuri and Uncle Sebastian often babysat you the most, Uncle Sebastian letting you get into mischief and Uncle Yuri being the sensible one. Whenever Uncle Yuri entered the house, you would be ready with a hug and he would make you try to catch the latest hat he was wearing with a mischievous grin as he watched you jump up and down for it but in the end relented and placed it on your head every time. But Uncle Yuri was kind - hearted and earnest always insisting that if there was anything wrong, you could confide in him.

Uncle David was another constant presence in your home with his dry sense of humor, wide smile and strength. He was a strong and calm gentleman but whenever he was with you, he became childish and playful. He snuck in snacks, cookies, donuts, iced cupcakes that both of you shared while sitting next to each other and listening to gossip as you both exchanged sassy glances, he slapped or scolded anyone who kept a weapon within your vicinity, spoiled you with the prettiest and most expensive dresses, dolls and books as he competed with your uncles and aunts on who could get you the best presents, danced with you spinning you around to the music, defending you sassily when your mother made a passive aggressive remark about you, competing with you in races and childish games they held and voicing his pride in you whenever you painted art or mastered a difficult task. You remember him losing his temper and nearly blowing off Uncle Minjun’s and Uncle Yuri’s heads when he found out that they had taught you how to handle knives and blow up things. He was very protective of you when it came to boys and bonded over it with the rest of your uncles, father and brother. If he saw you talking to a boy, he would assess their prospects for the future, their character and recommend that no one was good enough for you which your father agreed with. Although he was protective, he was fiercely loyal and brave and stood up for what he believed in. 

In your memory, Aunt Maya was the most stunning and beautiful woman you had come across. She possessed entrancing purple eyes, dark skin, and a smile that enchanted everyone. Aunt Maya was a very powerful Grisha who possessed the remarkable powers of a squaller, a heartrender, a healer, an inferni, a fabrikator and a tidemaker. Her powers as a fabrikator and tidemaker were her weakest but the rest of her abilities were absolutely wonderful and powerful. From a young age, you understood the utmost importance of keeping her unique abilities a secret. Being a Grisha was one thing, being a Grisha who could channel different powers and abilities with ease and grace was dangerous in the world. Aunt Maya was a beautiful woman with a gorgeous smile who always wore the most divine dresses and high heels. Aunt Maya was faithful and loyal to your father who had helped her escape bounty hunters and given her safety and protection within his gang. Aunt Maya loved you as her own, telling you stories about Grisha and their abilities, about the Darkling and the Fold, the power of the amplifiers, Morozova and his work, the universe and the greed of men, the lives of the Saints and her life at the Little Palace before she became a target marked as dangerous. 

Aunt Natalia was soft and sweet, your godmother. She was a soft spoken spy who was quiet most of the time and could never hear her footsteps when she approached you. But when attacked or provoked, she had the fiercest temper and strongest spirit you knew. Everyone admired her cleverness and kindness and the willingness to do what needed to be done no matter what the cost and her innocent and sweet demeanor often deceived many into thinking she was harmless when she was very dangerous. Aunt Natalia, your godmother was the mother your mother never was to you. She always let you sit on her lap and always made sure you ate your meals on time, played with you and took walks with you, yelled at you whenever you did something stupid and risky like scaling your house when you were once left alone. She admired your paintings and became excited whenever you did anything, talked with you about everything and nothing, played peacemaker when you and your brother fought with each other and made you both promise to always put it each other first, and sewed you pretty dresses of the latest fashion and knitted you and your brother countless socks, scarves and sweaters you didn’t have the heart to say no to. She took care of you, showering you with plenty of hugs and kisses adoringly. 

Aunt Holly was the fun aunt who always livened up the house with her merry presence and jolly smile. She always had her weapons on her at all times from her knives, her revolvers and her other discreet weapons that she would use properly. She was the aunt who loved food with all her heart so when she was around, she’d take charge of the kitchen and cook meals. You had heard stories of her work as an assassin, of how once she had fought off a gang of men with only a frying pan and killed slavers with a flower pot. Aunt Holly was the aunt who let you have your first shot of kvas secretly, who taught you to handle knives, who taught you how to walk the tightrope and glide so silently on your feet and hide in the shadows. Holly taught you how to climb and scale buildings and leap off from one roof to another, one tree branch to another and use lockpicks to break in and out of rooms. Holly was the aunt your father despaired having around because you would love listening her recount exciting stories of gang wars and bloodshed in Ketterdam and different strategies of how to blend in and steal a wallet. You found it all very fascinating and that worried your father who wanted you away from this life as possible. When your father and your godfather had seen you balancing yourself on a ledge, trying to walk without fear, they nearly had a heart attack as everyone shouted at you to get down but Aunt Holly laughed and encouraged you to continue without any fear. 

Aunt Ari was an absolute fashionista always dressed to impress and kill. She was cheerful and bright, clever and cruel in her own way. She was a powerful heartrender who loved torturing men with her abilities and was able to extract information from them. Aunt Ari taught you Shu and talked with you in Shu most of the time. Aunt Ari liked telling you stories from her travels around the world and reading you stories as she tucked you to bed. She loved answering your wild questions with wildly imaginative and beautiful answers without laughing at you. She was a talented and gifted musician who had a talent for beautifully singing. She encouraged you and your brother’s love of music. Although you loved music, you were not a gifted pianist like your brother became under your Aunt Ari’s tutelage. Your brother had a wonderful talent for playing the piano and singing. You often played duets with Aunt Ari and your brother but you didn’t feel that you were good enough of a pianist. Aunt Ari didn’t give up on you presenting you with various instruments until you came across the violin that had belonged to her sister who had passed away that was untouched since her death. Aunt Ari who had seen you eye it longingly, had let you touch it and learn to play it. The moment you learned to play it, you loved every moment of playing the violin and became incredibly good at it. It gave you the peace that painting gave you. You loved how when you started to play the violin, everything else faded away and you felt you could reflect peacefully. As you mastered the violin, Aunt Ari would watch your progress with a proud expression, blinking back tears of joy in her eyes at seeing you finally bring music to the world with her sister’s violin. 

Aunt Adira was the thief and charming temptress with a warm smile that distracted many people while the real work took place. You remembered her warm hugs and her stories of her own family that she had lost when she had been taken by slavers. Ketterdam had been hell to her but she had made a bargain with your father who had paid her indenture and freed her as she sharpened her skills as a thief and a charming spy who listened quietly and patiently for information and extracted important information for your father to use against his enemies. Adira was full of kindness always helping anyone out anyway she could and full of faith in the Saints. She prayed to the Saints every day and taught you prayers to Saints. No one understood how she kept faith in a faithless world but she had once confided that faith was her peace in the chaos of the world. Adira treated you and your brother with such sweetness and kindness, sometimes you would see her eyes stare at you both in wistfulness and misty tears. You didn’t know it then but your father had confided in you that both of you reminded her of her children that the slavers had taken separating her from them and was still searching for. Aunt Adira was fierce and steadfast in her spirit, fighting for what was right and standing up for what she believed in and spoke up when she thought someone was wrong. She was true to her values and often showered you with hugs and kisses, food and flower crowns.

Tag, you’re it. Take care of them, would be the motto that they passed on when one of them left you and your brother in the care of another.  

You would describe your home as a mad house full of laughter and good times. Birthdays were celebrated with extravagance and happiness with presents exchanged and wishes made on the candles of the prettiest cakes, dinner parties where stories were exchanged over drinks and food were hosted, dances where your uncles would each take turns dancing with you, the discussions where swearing was prohibited and words such as murder and torture were substituted with kid friendly words, evening tea and midnight feasts with the guns and knives lying on the table as they held you in their arms and kept you far away from weapons, warm days where your aunts and uncles would play with you and your brother outside, and rainy days where theatricals and pranks, paintings and music were ever present in the home with tremendous love, laughter and hugs. 

“Not really. I had my aunts and uncles - my father’s closest friends in his gang who visited most of the time. It never felt lonely with them around... it felt like a mad house.” you said as you remembered the loud raucous laughter whenever a prank was pulled and the bright smiles that lit up the atmosphere “There was always some prank pulled, some game played, someone yelling, running around and laughing, bonfire nights and garden parties, and dinners and birthdays celebrated... having the time of our lives.”

Nikolai smiled at the description of the very warm and cozy house as he pictured a family full of vengeful gangsters laughing and having the time of their lives with children who didn’t know loneliness and emptiness but only knew love and warmth as he looked at you in interest “What happened to them?”

“Some of them died. Some of them... I think they are alive... but I don’t know. The rumors I’ve heard of them suggest that  some of them are still alive and out there but I don’t want to hope.” you said tired and exhausted as you closed your eyes thinking of all the rumors and whispers you had heard of their whereabouts even though they had faded away long time ago. 

You simply had given up hope for a happy ending. 

When Nikolai inquired their names, you paused for a moment hesitantly and told him. Nikolai gasped audibly because the names you had just revealed to him were cautionary tales told to the children of Ravka and ghost stories whispered aboard his ship about the Order of the Dark Knights. Nikolai knew that you grew up with gangsters but he couldn’t quite comprehend and wrap his head around the fact that you grew up around the most feared and dangerous gangsters in Kerch and all of the world before the Crows came into the scene. He couldn’t believe that your father was the feared and revered leader of the Order of the Dark Knights who had blood on his hands and each tale more gruesome and fearsome than the last. Nikolai grew up hearing stories about each member who was uniquely talented and dangerous that no child should emulate, certainly not a Ravkan aristocrat. Nikolai had been fascinated with the thieves who set themselves apart with their ability to shed blood and fearsome talents. The last Nikolai heard of the Order of the Dark Knights was that they were burned to death in their leader’s house by an enemy. There were rumors someone had betrayed the gangster’s location and rumors that some members were still alive and stayed hidden undercover even today waiting for the right moment to rise. That they didn’t really die that night. 

Nikolai looked at you and then understanding dawned upon him as his eyes widened “Y/L/N. Your last name is a fake one, isn’t it? You wouldn’t be so stupid as to take your father’s last name in Ketterdam and paint a target on your back.”

You smiled in amazement and astonishment wondering how Nikolai got you so perfectly, your eyes twinkling in mischief and reminiscence at the last name you had adopted from your imaginative mind “My first name is my real one. But I’m surprised at how well you know me. My last name is a fake one. Life isn’t easy when you realize that your father has many enemies who’d want to take their revenge on him by hurting him.”

“My sunshine, rule number one... please don’t ever become me.”

Nikolai remembered how his mother would tell him stories of your father’s ruthless ways. Your father was a story that intrigued Nikolai, the story about the heir who grew up in one of the most prominent and wealthy Honorable Aristocratic Houses of Ravka that was known for its nobility and purity of bloodline and everlasting loyalty to the Crown of Ravka to the point of blind following. The parents of this family had been rumored to be cold and heartless, grooming the children to be the perfect and invincible soldiers and subjects of Ravka and the children were seen as an example of perfection in every manner.

Of the particular family your father was the oldest and he had a younger brother, both eligible young bachelors who held positions of power and privilege in the Ravkan Court. But while the youngest was too happy to oblige and follow the rules, the heir of the family, the oldest brother rebelled and questioned the rules in place and how they were unfair to the poor. There were rumors of him being punished for simply visiting the poor and understanding the Grisha and mingling with them and becoming friends with the outcasts and the hungry. 

The final string snapped when the heir of this prestigious family stepped to defend a soldier who was a scapegoat for treason against the King by a larger force. He was considered a traitor to the country when he pleaded a pardon for his long time friend, a poor man, a soldier who had been wrongfully accused of treason and sentenced to death. But your father could not let injustice of this country stand as he finally decided to act upon and decide who he was once and for all as he plotted and freed the soldier from his chains in the dungeons and a dangerous Grisha girl who had been locked in there for a long time just because her power was one no one else understood. Your father ran away in the night with the soldier and the Grisha girl escaping to Ketterdam where he started a new life climbing the criminal ladder with two faithful and loyal friends. 

The soldier was none other than your godfather and father’s best friend, Sebastian and the dangerous Grisha girl who escaped alongside them was your Aunt Maya. 

Your father hated the lot of them just as much as they hated him. He was burned from the family tree after been marked as a traitor and no one in his family spoke his name for he disgraced him with his act of treachery and the acts he committed as the leader of the Order of the Dark Knights and occupied a high position in the Merchants Council in Ketterdam. Nikolai knew that the story was intended to be a cautionary tale but he couldn’t help but feel inspired how your father was everything that everyone were afraid to be in the most dark and difficult times. Nikolai was inspired at how your father gave up his whole world, his family, his country to do what was right instead of living an easy life.

Nikolai had known your father’s younger brother. He held a position as an advisor in the court for a long time mending and repairing the honor of his family damaged by your father’s reckless actions. He was quiet and reserved, well mannered and intelligent, observant and calm. Vasily often made fun of the soft spoken advisor but Nikolai liked your father’s young brother. From his younger days, Nikolai admired the composed and smart brother Matthew who was gentle and kind - hearted to Nikolai, never acknowledging the rumors about him being a bastard but had only treated Nikolai as an equal and a noble prince. As Nikolai grew up, he struck up an odd sort of friendship with the Matthew who became Nikolai’s mentor, favorite advisor and a good friend. 

Nikolai remembers the Matthew's love for his family. Your father’s family was notorious for its cold disposition and harshness in raising perfect children so Nikolai had expected the same from your father’s younger brother. He had been pleasantly surprised to see your father’s Matthew treat his children differently. Nikolai who was invited to the advisor’s house for countless soirees, talks and meals would witness Matthew spin his children around with a grin when he came home from work and then hug his wife tightly with a bright and tender smile. 

Matthew never shared much about his family but only shared the vision Nikolai had for Ravka. Nikolai was astounded at his intelligence and observations, as he taught Nikolai his own sharp perceptions and observations about whose opinions mattered in the court for a King, what they liked and disliked, their family backgrounds and what the court thought of Vasily and Nikolai. A lot of what Matthew shared with Nikolai helped Nikolai to mold himself and charm his subjects, generals and advisors into seeing Nikolai as a charming, smart and capable leader. 

Though his mentor never shared much about his family, Nikolai would glimpse a certain look of wistful sadness and pained bitterness about his brother who had been marked a traitor and banished on the pain of death. He had once caught his mentor staring at the burnt name on the tapestry of the family tree with quiet contemplation and longing, as if he carried a great burden of loss and grief on his shoulders. Nikolai had left him alone but had not forgotten that sight for it was not a well spoken and polite aristocrat he had seen then, he had seen a brother who was grieving for the loss of a brother he could not get back. Once Nikolai who had been grieving after Vasily had his father banish Dominik in disgrace and enlist his Dominik’s elder brother in the army, he had run toward Matthew’s place unannounced in the middle of the night because he felt helpless and didn’t know where else to go.

Please forgive my intrusion. 

Not at all. Please stay if you like, Your Highness. 

He had become a sort of odd father figure in that moment when he had seen Nikolai’s grief and hugged him in welcome and comfort. He had stayed over at the best guest room with a hot and hearty meal and warm clothes provided. In the morning, Nikolai had accepted the offer of taking a walk with Matthew as he let him know everything that had occurred, all the anger and grief and sadness he felt about losing his best friend and against Vasily who had betrayed him. Matthew had truly listened patiently to the young prince vent out his frustration and then struck up a proper conversation full of truth and honesty, comfort and shared experience making Nikolai feel safe and understood and Matthew assured him that he would make certain that Dominik’s family was well taken care of and later on pulled strings to get Dominik’s elder brother reassigned to a place where the fighting was light. After the most enlightening conversation full of shed tears and shared truths of hard burdens and brutalizing loss, Matthew and his wife had hugged Nikolai with such warmth, treating him like their own son and had let Nikolai know that she had made a special meal just for him and if there was ever anything, they would always be there for him. 

Nikolai had been incredibly fond of Matthew and his family from then on and eternally in debt and grateful to Matthew for pulling the strings to keep Dominik and his family safe. He remembered how he had cursed Vasily angrily throughout their conversation and though Matthew shared many pieces of wisdom with him on that day, one stood out particularly and etched itself on Nikolai’s mind because it felt as if Matthew wasn’t talking about just Vasily and Nikolai. 

“A cruel truth to it, isn’t it? Two brothers so close in age, the more one becomes one thing, the more other necessarily becomes the opposite.”

Later that day Matthew had called Nikolai into his study and showed him a picture of him and his brother. Matthew and his elder brother looked so young and handsome, shocking Nikolai at how old and exhausted they had grown up to be in the present. Nikolai examined the family picture of the brothers with their cousins, and recognized Matthew immediately. He was immediately recognizable as the smaller and handsome boy with dark hair, grey eyes and composed and haughty demeanor. A young Matthew stood regally and elegantly next to a older boy who looked very similar to him except he was charmingly handsome with a reckless and careless glint in his eyes, his lips curving into slightly warm smile as he held himself haughtily and coldly. But both of them were just children, just two brothers, frozen in the moment. 

“This is my older brother. I believe he needs no introduction... he’s made a name for himself. Before he was what he is now, he insisted on serving in the infantry. He came back a war hero. I think that’s when my family was truly proud of him.” recalled Matthew quietly and wistfully as he pointed out his brother and then him in the photograph to Nikolai who looked at it curiously.  

“Did he win medals?”

“Oh, Ravka bestowed many of the medals on him. Rewarded him the Medal of Honor, Army Commendation Award and the Distinguished Conduct Honor among many of them.” said Matthew with a small smile that seemed to Nikolai as if he was laughing at Ravka for bestowing medals upon a brave soldier and then banishing him without consideration for what he did for his country “But he threw them all in the fire and watched it burn. None of us came back the same.” 

Nikolai felt shocked at the action of the elder brother but since Matthew was being unusually open, Nikolai let his curiosity get the better of him “What was he like?”

“He laughed. A lot. He wanted to sail ships and work with horses. Always the charming and rebellious one of the family.” replied Matthew with a genuine and fond smile curving on his lips, a smile that displayed brotherly love and childish affection, a smile that Nikolai had never seen before “He was in love with a girl before the war. Her parents were Suli and none of the families approved of the dalliance but he won the girl’s parents over.”

“She died at the age of sixteen. But my brother was there at her bedside for four months every day holding her hand. And after she died, he went away to war.” recounted Matthew, his smile fading slightly as he was lost in memories of long ago while Nikolai listened in amazement and heartbreak “My sweet, kind, charming brother who laughed a lot never came back after that.”

“But you have a distinguished war record as well. You received the Medal of Honor, the Meritorious Service Medal and Distinguished Service Medal among a few to name.” said Nikolai in admiration and respect as he looked at Matthew who had been one of the rare nobles who had given up the safety of a home and position to go serve in the trenches of the war as a medik. “You and your brother are hailed as two war heroes who were the miracle in the most brutal and dangerous of wars in the history of our country.”

“Ah, we were. My father objected when both of us enlisted but we had to enlist. We couldn’t stay in the comfort of a home or a tent when everyone else was going to fight for this country. My brother became a soldier and I became a medik to serve. I figured I’d be saving people, not killing them.” said Matthew quietly and contemplatively and Nikolai swore that Matthew looked as if he was back on the battlefield “I just kept praying to the Saints every damn moment in the chaos of the battle... not for myself... I prayed and begged the Saints to help me save one more person in this godforsaken war and heal them so they can go back to their families.”

Nikolai was silent, feeling absolute respect and admiration for his mentor who had saved many lives as he continued reminiscently “I wasn’t... I was thought of as mad of course, those days. Mediks weren’t as valued as soldiers. They thought I was a coward for not fighting. But my brother understood I was trying to serve in my own way.”

“The commander of my regiment tried to send me home but they... the soldiers I saved... warmed up to me. They stood up for me. They all said they’ll go home if I am sent in disgrace.” said Matthew with a small chuckle but there were tears in his eyes “I understood that you are always going to need all the help you can get and no one is going to help you if they don’t like you.”

Nikolai contemplated on those words silently as he retained the wisdom of that advice that honed the actions of his future and he knew he was stepping the line with this question but he needed to ask him “Your brother and you... did you care for him?”

“I thought the world of him. I thought we were going to fight and change the world side by side.” answered Matthew quietly and wistfully after a long moment with reminiscence in his eyes as he sighed “But in the end, he is who he is and I am who I am. There is no changing that.”

After a month or so, news reached Nikolai that Matthew had disappeared under mysterious and strange circumstances. Though the King sent search parties for him, no sign of him had been found. Matthew had finally been concluded as missing and presumed dead. 

“He’s dead.”

“He - no - he can’t be!”

Nikolai had been in disbelief and denial as he attended the funeral of his mentor feeling grief and emptiness in his heart, hiding tears remembering his quiet and composed demeanor, his light smiles, wise advice and warm hugs. How was he supposed to do all this by himself now without an advisor, without his mentor? The grief only grew worse when he was informed that Matthew had left Nikolai a considerable amount of money in the will with the instructions to live wisely and freely as he chose.

Later, after the war when Zoya had investigated the Darkling’s chambers in the Little Palace, she had come across a few surviving letters that she found interesting and shared them with Nikolai. Nikolai had felt his heart jump to his throat at finding that this was a letter addressed to the Darkling by Matthew, in his elegant and neat handwriting and Nikolai had wasted no time in reading it. 

To the Darkling, 

I know I will be dead long before you read this, but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have discovered your true identity as the Black Heretic and your plans to extend the Fold with your secret search for the Sun Summoner and Morozova’s amplifiers. I intend to foil and destroy all chances of your plan to destroy Ravka. I face the possibility of death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will fail in your pursuit for power and die alone and unloved.

Nikolai had not been ashamed to admit that he had burst into tears of grief and pain. His mentor had sacrificed himself, not letting the world know the true story of his sacrifice just to save Ravka. Matthew had never wanted power and glory, he had just wanted to keep Ravka safe and keep Nikolai safe until he was ready to take back what was his. Matthew had been clever and intelligent enough to deduce the Darkling’s secrets and plans from an early stage and try to find a way to stop the Darkling alone without putting anyone else in danger but it was likely that the Darkling killed him off. 

And now an invisible string that had spun his fate had tied him and tugged him to Matthew’s niece, Y/N, who had no family of her own all alone in the world. Nikolai felt awestruck and amazed at the frightening enormity of how destiny seemed to have a larger plan for all of them, how his mentor had been your late uncle and now how he met you who he was immensely in love with. 

“You are Y/N Y/RLN (Real last name)” pronounced Nikolai in soft tenderness and amazed awe as he looked at you with widened eyes of astonishment. 

You let out an audible gasp of incredible relief and happy gratitude because it had been so long since someone called you by your real name, the name you knew from birth to be your own, the name that had taken you in as their own with such love, the name you had cut ties with when you had arrived in Ketterdam and the name you sometimes forgot when hard days dragged on in its cold loneliness and hurt as tears sprung into your eyes and you nodded. 

“I don’t think I’ve heard that name for a long time.” you breathed in wonder and relief as you stared at Nikolai with such tenderness and affection because your heart had skipped a beat at the way he had pronounced your name as if it was precious and beautiful and then you looked at him quietly through the tears “So what are you going to do now?”

Nikolai was taken aback by your question “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

“I am Y/N Y/RLN, daughter of one of the most feared gangsters in the history of Ketterdam. I am very valuable. There are so many people who will give anything to get their hands on me to enact their revenge.” you said quietly with an air of pride and hidden vulnerability. “I have told you my secret I’ve never told anyone else... not even Kaz Brekker. Secrets often have a price in Ketterdam.”

Nikolai realized that though you were proud of who you were, you were now naturally scared of what would happen to you because you had confided your greatest secret in him and he saw that all your life you had been running and hiding and he hugged you tightly “Y/N, my darling, I will take your secret with me to my grave. Trust me, I will never hurt you. I like you just the way you are and I will protect you from anyone who dares to harm you.”

You buried your head on his shoulder as you felt warm and safe, your cheeks flushing with heat at his soft and honest words surprised because you had never felt this way as his intoxicating perfume comforted you and you murmured “I don’t feel so scared anymore.”

Nikolai held you tightly in his embrace, his heart wrenching at those words slipping out of your mouth because though you hid it very well behind your expressive smile and guarded and composed demeanor, you were still a vulnerable and scared child who had been abandoned from birth marked by grief and loss “You never have to be scared, my love. We’re in this together.”

You blushed at the sweet endearment Nikolai whispered in your ear and smiled gratefully as you broke the hug feeling warmth and happiness spread through you, your cheeks tingling in red hues as you twisted your fingers nervously and concentrated on finishing the final touches of the sketch. When you finished the sketch, you looked at it with pride, as emotions of wistfulness, love, grief, reminiscence and adoration swelled within you. You smiled softly and fondly at the drawing and then felt Nikolai gaze at you quizzically as you felt your heart skip a beat and then you looked back at your drawing quietly. It was something purely personal and private but you took a leap of faith to share this with Nikolai because in your heart you wanted to as you slowly and nervously showed him what you had been sketching. 

Nikolai was pleasantly surprised as he took the sketchbook gently and delicately in his hands to see an incredibly talented and detailed drawing of a stoic and composed man with hard edges and sharp cheekbones who was elegantly and impeccably dressed in a suit smiling in warm and relaxed amusement as he held a cigarette in his hands, his icy cold blue eyes gleaming with mischievous delight and sly laughter that he held back as he looked fondly and lovingly and listened attentively to the little girl sitting on his lap talking to him with a solemn expression, an equally mischievous smile playing on her lips as she held his hand in hers. 

Nikolai realized you had just shown him your father as you remembered him and he felt a lump of emotion rise in his throat at the fact that you trusted him so much with such a precious part of your life you kept hidden away from the rest of the world. It was a simple sketch but the love you had poured into the drawing showed the feared gangster who was thought of a monster as a relaxed, warm and kind father who had a softer and sweeter side to him that he hid from the rest of the world. He didn’t seem like a ruthless cutthroat gangster. He was simply a man.

Nikolai felt awed and amazed by it, he could feel the warmth and affection of it exude as he suddenly felt a craving to be in that sketch and wondered what on earth you were saying to your father, a feared gangster to make him smile in such amusement. 

“That’s my father. I’d love it when he’d laugh. He had the nicest laugh in the world. Warm and steady. He’d always be amused whenever I was around... he had that little proud and amused smile he’d always wear whenever I did or said something.” you said with a reminiscent and fond smile as you remembered how your father’s laugh was such a joy in your life. 

“That’s my little girl, ey? You are such fun when you say such odd things.”

“What’s an unforgettable memory you have of him?” asked Nikolai in curiosity as he looked at you, suddenly realizing that this was so sweetly intimate because you were letting your guard down around him and letting him know the little things that you hid from rest of the world. 

“I have so many lovely memories of him that it’s impossible to choose. It’s lovely isn’t it? That my father gave me the nicest and loveliest memories to remember him by? But if I had to choose, it would be this one.” you said quietly and reminiscently with a lovely twinkle in your eyes as you spoke thoughtfully after a long moment as Nikolai shifted toward you listening raptly to you.

“My father was out on business to Ketterdam when my school teacher caned me and beat me up more than once for no reason. Perhaps he enjoyed it.” you said softly and honestly with a brave smile as you extended your hand, showing your palm to Nikolai whose eyes widened remembering the times Dominik was hurt by his teacher to punish him. “I feared his temper and hated going to school because I was so afraid.”

He felt hot rod of outrageous anger surge through him as he held your palm that had the scar of the unjust punishment you were given and you shivered when his thumb traced your scar gently “My mother didn’t care when I told her and my brother was the only one who cared. One day, I saw that my father had arrived home earlier than he was supposed to with his friends. He saw what happened to my hand and he went wild with anger. I’ve never seen him so unhinged, out of control. His eyes were glinting with murder but he I was scared and crying.”

“He calmed me down and comforted me, kissed my little wounded hand and bandaged it, made silly jokes, told me stories and put me to sleep. The next day, he woke me up at five and told me to get dressed in my best dress. My father drove me to the school where he had ordered a meeting with all the teachers of the school early in the morning.” you said remembering the tense atmosphere in the carriage where your father had held your little hand in his gently as he smoked his cigarette and contemplated on his thoughts solemnly. “They told me to stay in the carriage but after they left, I followed them and listened outside the door.”

“Ever the spy even when you were a little girl?” teased Nikolai with a mischievous glint in his eyes at the thought of you disobeying your dangerous father’s orders and doing things your own way but his smile faded slightly when he remembered what had happened to you. “What happened?”

“In the meeting, my father withdrew me from school and withdrew funding from the school. He was so calm, so quiet and yet I could feel his anger as he defied them by smoking in the room and threatened them. He didn’t beat them or hurt them but he was absolutely terrifying.” you said with awe and amazement as you remembered every word that your father had uttered in that meeting exuding the promise of death to anyone who so much as dared to breath near you “When he withdrew funding, the principal was furious. He yelled at my father for withdrawing funding and mentioned his crimes and I remember my father just slamming him to the wall and saying ‘I’m not a criminal. I’m a father. And I will break heaven and earth to protect my daughter. Any of you come near her again, in fact if you so much as try to do anything to hurt her and make her unhappy, I will find you and cut you to pieces.’”

Nikolai was equally stunned and impressed at your father’s overwhelming love for you that showed how far he was willing to go to protect you and suddenly wished that his father could have been half the man your father had been as he felt a lump of emotion swell in his throat as you continued “And then he took me out to the village where we spent the day out and we both had a really nice day together. And when he tucked me to bed and told me that I don’t have to go to school anymore, that I’ll be learning at home with governesses and if they gave me any trouble, I should tell him at once... when he told me that, I just felt warm and fuzzy... I felt I wasn’t alone. That no matter how hard life got, he’d always be there for me.”

“Not true, of course. I was wrong. He wouldn’t always be there for me. He was murdered a long time ago and now he’s not there for me anymore.” you said softly and sincerely with a saddened and pained expression and Nikolai felt his heart clench in pain as he squeezed your hand gently “But he was there for me throughout his life and that’s what counts, I guess.”

“Your father may have been a cold - hearted criminal but he was a good father. A kind father. I don’t think many people can say that about themselves.” said Nikolai honestly with a sincere smile as he squeezed your hand gently “And he raised a fantastic daughter. I’d think he’d be very proud of you.”

You smiled through your teary eyes as you looked at the portrait of your genuinely smiling father, his eyes warm and so alive in that moment and looked at Nikolai gratefully as you both stayed in silence and Nikolai asked a question that broke the moment “You said your father was murdered. There are stories that - well, he burned to death along with his closest order members that night.”

Nikolai observed you grow stiff and tense as your face drew into a cold and harsh expression “Yes. I was there that night. It was his birthday... one moment, there my father was smiling while everyone sang happy birthday and suddenly the whole house was on fire, an army of thugs surrounding it and turning the whole place upside down thirsty for blood. My uncles and aunts... they stayed back to fight and distract the thugs while my father ushered us into one of the secret tunnels that led out to safety.”

“I remember him carrying me very tightly, angry people yelling furiously trying to get through the barricaded doors and when he pushed me into the tunnel... he promised he’d come and find me as soon as he could and closed the entrance to the tunnel. That was the last I saw of him. Everything burned down as we ran away. Today is the day I lost my family. I lost my normal life.” you replied quietly as you rubbed your forehead in exhaustion and pain blinking back tears that came with the memories that you had thought of today “And the craziest thing is, I keep thinking that my father’s not really dead. He promised he’d come to find me. He always kept his promises. And he was the man who could always do the impossible, always one step ahead. If anyone could survive that fire, it was him.”

You buried your face in your hands because you were fairly certain you were mad with grief of loss and abandonment as tears slipped down your cheeks and then you wiped them away hastily and steadied yourself “But I know it’s not going to happen. So I made a promise to my dad... to all of them... that I’ll hunt whoever is responsible and when I find them, I will kill them.”

Nikolai knew from the dark gleam in your eyes that you had already found who was responsible for your father’s death and you were just biding time waiting for the opportune moment as he hesitated “Who is it who killed them?”

“Pekka Rollins.” you spat vengefully after a long moment of silence that seemed to stretch for eternity “He killed my father and snatched all of his properties and members to the Dime Lions. Kaz Brekker had his revenge on him and soon it will be my turn.”

“Then let’s destroy him until he begs for mercy from you.” asked Nikolai quietly in steely determination as he looked at you with fire of devotion burning in his eyes. 

You were taken aback with surprise and shock as you felt speechless and tongue tied and you finally found your tongue as you replied “You’re going to help me?”

“Of course, love. I’m not going to let you go into this all alone.” replied Nikolai easily and charmingly as he winked at you making you blush “And if you do get in serious trouble, you will have diplomatic immunity on the table because you’ll be happily married to me.”

“You’re a prat!” you laughed, blushing a pretty pink as you tried to hide your shyness by taking a book that he had been reading and slapping him with it while he yelled in pain. 

“OWWW! STOP HURTING ME, WOMAN!”

“KICK HIS ASS, Y/N!”

“GET HIM, GIRL!”

“ARE YOU EVEN MY FRIENDS?”

You collapsed into hearty laughter as you spared him mercy as he rubbed his shoulder with dramatic painful groans as he complained but he was smiling widely at you. You looked at the book Nikolai had been reading recently and opened it while Nikolai was busy retorting sassily at Genya, Nina and Zoya. 

You smirked widely when you read the rather interesting paragraphs in the book and when Nikolai turned toward you, his eyes widened in nervous shock and dismay as he lunged for the book but you dodged him and began reading the text with a wide and teasing smirk “Anthony felt every fiber of his being consumed by the desire as he pushed her down to the bed and kissed her flawless alabaster skin with desperate passion, his lips traveling down her neck as he cupped her breast - “

“Alright, give it back!” yelled Nikolai who had gone red in embarrassment but you laughed in amusement as you danced out of his way, reading the filthiest parts you could find.

“My goodness, Your Majesty. Who knew that under that perfect prince disguise was a filthy man with naughty thoughts?” you teased as you stood on top of the arm of the sofa avoiding Nikolai who was scrambling to get to you desperately. 

“It’s a love story! They are in love!” exclaimed Nikolai who was blushing in absolute embarrassment because now this had destroyed all chances of you seeing him as a prospective choice in your love life. In fact, this was the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to him in his life!

“My goodness, you dirty naughty boy, look at what you’ve been reading! Is this what you have been reading with a straight face?” you laughed in amusement as you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly and playfully at Nikolai making him stutter and blush. “I must say, your reading taste is very... filthy.”

“That’s enough, now give it back!” said Nikolai who lunged at you but you dodged him as you jumped on his back making him yell out loudly as you kept the book away from him and whispered teasingly and sensually into his ear silencing all protests “Was this how it felt to burn for someone you truly loved? To have them and hold them as your own and know that come what may their mind, body, soul and heart was only yours. Katherine let out a loud moan when her lover slammed his -”

“Alright, thank you very much!” said Nikolai who had practically frozen when you had started reading the filthy parts of the novel in a suggestive and sensual voice that had aroused something in him and he grabbed the novel from you as he heard you laugh teasingly and merrily into his ear. “Stop laughing, Y/N!”

“You can’t make me.” you replied boldly and daringly as you slid down from his back with an easygoing and laidback grin. 

“Is that a challenge?” replied Nikolai equally cockily and confidently as he turned around and looked at you in a way one would measure his opponent and you felt shivers of pleasure run through you and jolt when he stepped toward you. 

You held your breath as Nikolai stared at you longingly and intensely with such yearning that it took your breath away. He took another step to you as his face lingered close to yours that you could see the golden light flickering in his hazel eyes. You could feel his breath fanning your skin as his eyes flickered from your own eyes to your lips. His lips were hovering inches away from yours full of yearning and longing and you suddenly felt a semblance of a fire stoked within you. You knew you should step away but rationality and logic was slipping away from you each moment you were with him. You loved Kaz... you loved... you were trying to remember but it was getting unbearable when Nikolai was so close yet so far away. 

The door opened abruptly and Nikolai and you jumped apart, your hearts beating very loudly as you felt your cheeks redden as you suddenly remembered where you were and what had happened. What was wrong with you? What had happened to you? Why had you let yourself indulge in a moment of weakness with Nikolai? He was attractive and handsome but he was your friend! You couldn’t afford to lose a wreck of another friendship! You knew this couldn’t be!

You poured yourself a strong glass of brandy to compose yourself, not wanting to look at Nikolai because you simply didn’t want to see him.

The messenger had arrived and was greeted unhappily by Genya who had groaned, Nina who poured herself another glass of brandy and Zoya who threw a cushion at the poor man as she yelled “REALLY? NOW? IS NOW THE TIME FOR YOU TO BLOODY ARRIVE? GET THE TIMING RIGHT, YOU IDIOT! I WAS ABOUT TO GET MY MONEY AND YOU HAD TO RUIN IT!”

You drank your glass of brandy in one go paying no attention to the messenger who delivered letters to everyone in the room and you poured yourself another glass of brandy when the messenger addressed you “Miss Y/N Y/LN?”

You smiled at him “Yes, that’s me.”

“This is for you.” he said with a nod as he handed over a few letters and you thanked him kindly. 

You settled down in a sofa far away from Nikolai with your glass of brandy as you went through your usual letters that your friends from Ketterdam sent you. As you took a sip of your brandy, you nearly choked on it when you saw Kaz’ precise handwriting on the envelope addressed to you. This was Kaz’ first letter to you since you had left Ketterdam after your fallout with him. You felt unusually nervous and terrified, amazed and happy at the fact that Kaz had taken time out of his busy day to write to you. You didn’t know what the contents of the letter were but for the first time, you felt hope soar that this was the beginning of a reconciliation and a new beginning. Perhaps the very stubborn Kaz had somehow written a curt apology and that’s all you needed for now. You held the envelope in your hands for a long time because you wanted to hold onto the lovely dreams and fantasies of what might be in that letter and then you decided to get on with it as you opened the envelope and read the letter. 

As you finished reading the letter, you felt a sense of disbelief take over your body and you read it over and over again because you didn’t want this to be the reality. Then something very dark and dangerous in you ignited, something that had been hurt and wounded for a long time began growling in anger as fury and rage boiled in you and crashed over you in overwhelming tidal waves until it was all you could feel and taste and breathe. 

You felt the rage and fury burn through you as you stood up and threw your glass of brandy into the wall as it shattered into pieces alarming and shocking everyone who nearly jumped out of their seats and looked at you in concern and surprise but you didn’t care as your crumpled up the letter, breathing heavily and marched out of the room not seeing Nikolai look at you in genuine sincerity and concern. 

“What happened?” asked Nikolai in concern as he jumped out of his seat and strode toward where you had been sitting. 

“I think this might have been the cause.” said Nina as she picked up the letter that they all read. 

To Y/N, 

I hope you are in good health. 

I know you are on vacation but your duty to the Dregs calls Nina and you now immediately. You are needed for an urgent and important mission in Ketterdam. Your specific skillset is urgently needed for this job. The details are confidential and you will be briefed on it once you are here. You will get your cut once the job is over. Nina and you are to be in Ketterdam within a week. 

I know you would rather be lazing in Ravka but I am your employer. If you wish to not continue with this job and life, you can send me your resignation and your position within the Crows and Dregs will be terminated. 

Thank you, 

Kaz Brekker. 

“Alright, that’s it! I am going to Ketterdam to choke the air out of that canal rat’s lungs!” exclaimed Zoya coldly with fury and anger burning in her beautiful eyes. 

“I’m going to find Y/N.” mumbled Nikolai feeling absolutely outraged and furious at how Kaz Brekker treated you like you were some investment when you were more than that. 

He was going to kill Kaz Brekker with his bare hands the next time he saw him.

After searching the palace, Nikolai stepped into the library where you sought solace and comfort most of the time and heard sniffling and small crying sounds. His heart broke into a tiny million pieces at your pain as he closed the library door softly and took a few steps to find you when from behind a book shelf your voice echoed “OI, go away Nikolai! I don’t want to see you.”

Nikolai halted in surprise and amazement because he had not spotted you yet but you had recognized him as he called out “How do you know it’s me?”

“I know the sound of your footsteps.” you replied knowingly as you rubbed the tears that threatened to leak from your eyes at your heart clenching in hurt and misery because it was always Nikolai who cared about you so much and checked up on you to see if you were fine whereas Kaz broke your heart every chance you gave him. 

Nikolai smiled in amazement and astonishment because he was touched and surprised that you knew him so well and paid so much attention to the smallest of things about him as he called out kindly “Alright, now come out. You’ve been there ages.”

You snapped in exhaustion and pain because you just wanted to be alone “Just leave me alone!”

Nikolai followed the sound of your voice as he sat opposite of the shelf where you were sitting, his back facing yours as he let you be alone but he leaned his head back to the shelf as he said gently and sincerely after a long moment of silence as he listened to your quiet crying “Just try not to let him get to you.”

You laughed sarcastically as tears rolled down your cheeks as you snapped in frustration “Oh thanks for that. That’s brilliant advice. Really is! Absolutely brilliantly stupid!”

Nikolai sighed biting his tongue in frustration because he knew that today was a very emotional day for you full of reminders of the life you could have had and the life you had lost with your family and Kaz Brekker had just stoked your grief further as he stayed quiet for a few moments and then took a bold choice “I think your dad would be absolutely heartbroken to see you being hurt by Kaz Brekker over and over again when all he does is never see you for who you are... a wonderful, powerful, kind and strong woman. He’d protect you from him and tell you that Kaz isn’t the one for you.”

You felt acidic bitterness overwhelm your mouth as you spat out “What do you know of my father?”

“I know that he is the man who threatened your school teachers because they hurt you. Because they inflicted pain on you and made you cry. So I know that no matter what, he would want you to always be happy and loved.” said Nikolai honestly and sincerely with no qualms about speaking his mind to you as you listened in awestruck and shocked silence at how Nikolai spoke to your very soul. 

You were quiet because you hated that Nikolai was right. But you had believed that Kaz would be better. You had believed that deep down Kaz Brekker truly loved you and hid it in fear of consequences. You believed that in time Kaz Brekker would come to understand his feelings for you and reciprocate the same intense and deep love you felt for him. You sobbed quietly, your hand covering your mouth at how stupid and naïve you had been. You had dreamed of a happy ending with the boy you loved so much but that boy never dreamed of you. Kaz Brekker never thought of you and dreamt of you, he never cared for you and today’s letter was proof that you were merely just an investment to him. You felt angry at yourself for loving him so much despite every desperate attempt to try to forget him and stop loving him. But even though you were miles away from Ketterdam, Kaz Brekker was still the one you loved despite your efforts to break free from him. It hurt you that you were so weak as to be tied in love with a bastard who didn’t even spare a thought for you and you wondered whether you’d ever get out of the darkness of this abyss. This feeling of addiction to an intoxicating drug that you knew was bad yet you couldn’t let go of yet. This feeling of breathing fresh air for a moment before being pulled down to the darkness of the freezing stormy water by the very man she loved. You were trying to leave him but it was just so hard. 

You felt so insignificant, completely useless and utterly humiliated by the very person you loved so deeply and who you thought cared for you more than an investment. 

But you were so wrong. 

As you muffled your quiet sobs, you felt Nikolai’s quiet and gentle presence on the other side of the bookshelf, keeping you company. You didn’t understand why he was doing this for you. Perhaps he saw a damsel in distress to rescue. Perhaps he pitied you. Perhaps he was just here providing you comfort and friendship because he was just that kind of good, kind - hearted and nice person. 

You heard rustling of paper and saw that a paper bird that had flown to your side of the shelf. You knew it was Nikolai as you sniffled and delicately opened the paper to see his lovely handwriting “So aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?”

You couldn’t help but smile widely amidst your tears when another paper note in the shape of a butterfly slipped toward you and you picked it up as you read “I was wondering if you are here... who is running Heaven?”

You didn’t like pickup lines but you couldn’t help grinning like a fool as your tears began to dry and you shook your head in amusement and exasperation when another note folded in the shape of a pineapple was sent to you and you read it in anticipation “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine - apple.”

You couldn’t help it, an amused giggle escaped your lips at this terrible pickup line and Nikolai who heard it grinned in happiness and encouragement as he scribbled his next pickup line and folded it neatly in a shape of a flower as he slipped it toward you. 

You opened it with curiosity as your eyes skimmed over “I’d say Saints Bless You but it looks like they already did.”

You couldn’t help but throw your head back and laugh out loudly like a child and Nikolai grinned in pleasure and happiness at listening to your beautiful and wonderful laugh, glad he had cheered you up but he was adamant to work until the very end to see you happy as he wrote another note in the shape of an elephant that you read “I thought this was a library but this must be a museum because you are a masterpiece!” 

“Stop it! You are absolutely ridiculous!” you laughed in amusement and exasperation as you shook your head flustered as your cheeks flared with warmth while Nikolai grinned widely as he sent you another note shaped as a heart. 

“You must be hell of a thief because you managed to steal my heart from the moment I saw you.”

“If I stole your heart, you wouldn’t be breathing and alive, you absolute moron.” you retorted with an amused laugh, as your eyes twinkled in delight and happiness but your heart fluttered and skipped a few beats as you read those words over and over again. “And where on earth are you getting all these parchment from?”

You heard Nikolai laugh in amusement and delight as he scribbled something and you saw a note shaped like a swan that you unfolded as it read “There must be something wrong with my eyes... I can’t seem to take them off you.”

You blushed as you spluttered going red in the face as your heart fluttered with amazement and wonder at those words as you exclaimed “Are you drunk?”

Nikolai’s lips grew into a teasing and playful smile as he slipped another note in a shape of a flower that you unfolded “I’m not drunk. I’m utterly intoxicated by you.”

“You smooth motherfu -” you began in astonishment and exasperation as your lips tugged into an involuntary smile as you shook your head fondly “How many pickup lines do you even have?”

“Enough to make you smile for eternity.” replied Nikolai with a bright and gentle smile of his own, certainty and sincerity ringing through his voice. 

You smiled brightly, your heart lighter and happier than it had been as you crawled to Nikolai’s side of the shelf and sat next to him, the precious notes tucked safely in your pocket.  

You smiled softly and sweetly at Nikolai as you felt warmth and gratitude blossom in your heart for him as your breath caught in your throat “Thank you. You know, for making my life slightly less miserable.”

Nikolai smiled at you so sweetly and lovingly that you genuinely felt your heart stop beating as he whispered “To see you happy, I’d do anything.”

You smiled at Nikolai, your heart full of astonishment and wonder at how a person could be full of light and love and give it so unconditionally. You felt a hurt pang in your heart as you realized that you had such a deep bond with Kaz but it was all lies and broken promises used to stab at your deepest wounds and all the secret smiles you had shared with him had become cruel smirks and muffled sobs of pain. You suddenly felt the weight of fresh pain and heartbreak suffocating you as you remembered Kaz Brekker, the boy who had stood by you through thick and thin that now was the reason for you drowning in sorrow and heartache as he watched heartlessly and cruelly. 

Nikolai knew by your expression that you were thinking of Kaz as he whispered softly “Are you alright?”

“For so long, I hoped that Kaz would see me the way I see him and love me back. But I was foolish and misguided to let a thief and con artist trick me into believing that I could be loved. To hope that one day, things would be different.” you replied feeling disappointment and pain burn you fiercely and furiously as you realized how stupid and foolish you had been. 

“You know, someone who really wants you and cares about you, someone real... would never turn their back on a chance to get to know you.” said Nikolai softly and sincerely, his voice cracking slightly in heartbreak and pain seeing the darkness and self - loathing in your beautiful eyes as he placed his hand on your shoulder gently. 

“I don’t have anyone real in my life, Nikolai. I never will.” you replied bitterly and honestly as you felt the sharp arrows of pain and agony pierce you deeply as your eyes clouded with cold understanding and firm decisiveness “I fell in love once... I will never make that mistake again.”

Nikolai felt his heart shatter into pieces at your cold and cutting words that entirely broke his world. He had thought that in time you’d forget Kaz Brekker and hope for a new beginning in love but it seemed that Kaz Brekker had hardened and closed your soft and open heart for loving him. Nikolai felt utterly shocked and hurt as he looked into your eyes and saw that unwavering and firm decisiveness that meant every word you had said and realized that you would not change your mind about love ever again. You would not fall in love again and even if you did... you would never admit it. Nikolai wanted to murder Kaz Brekker for damaging you and making you believe that you deserved to be alone for the rest of your life. 

And though Nikolai knew that grief was hardening you and molding you into a girl who had no hope, Nikolai still offered you hope and sincerity as he blinked back his tears and placed a soft kiss on your cheek “It doesn’t mean you are alone. I’ll always be here for you, Y/N... I’ll always be whatever you need me to be.”

You felt warmth spread on your cheeks as the spot on your cheek tingled at the brief touch of Nikolai’s lips that lit a spark in your joyless heart as you looked at him in awe and affection “It doesn’t matter what I need you to be. You should always be unapologetically yourself... you... you are someone who should always be truly happy.”

Nikolai felt shy at how you were looking at him with such intense admiration and fond adoration as you smiled softly and sincerely at him, making a swarm of butterflies flutter within him as he felt himself lose his breath at how divine you were when you raised your eyebrows at him inquisitively “Were you going to ask me something?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Well... you furrowed your eyebrows a great deal this evening when conversing with me. You do that when you are thinking of something important to you and you want to say it but you are uncertain or afraid of the outcome.” you pointed out honestly and truthfully as you raised your eyebrows knowingly because you had observed the wonderful, amusing, quirky little mannerisms of the boy king who you had a soft spot in your heart for.

Nikolai was stunned at your astute and sharp observation and even more shocked that you had cared enough to observe and remember a little quirk and mannerism of his own that he didn’t realize himself as he replied shakily “I do?”

“Yes, you do. At first, when I first saw this, I thought of getting you a Healer because I was concerned that you were having a stroke.” you replied teasingly and playfully with an expression of amusement etched across your face. 

Nikolai scowled at you but his lips curved into an amused smile when you burst into delighted laughter and he shook his head at you in exasperation and affection and you looked at him curiously “So what’s on your mind, Nikolai?”

Nikolai had been thinking of asking you out but now he wasn’t so certain. Would you say yes? This was a bad idea. There were so many ways this could go wrong. You could slap him. You could leave Ravka. You could laugh at him and call him crazy. You could reject him and make him feel like an absolute fool for thinking that he stood a chance with you. 

To all the Saints and their mothers, he didn’t stand a chance with you! He knew that! And you weren’t interested in him, despite the strong bond that were developing between you two. You were simply unattainable. 

Anything worth doing starts as a bad idea.

“I - well, I know you are busy and you have so many important things to - but, I was thinking whether - like - I wanted to know if you would - um - what I mean to say -” began Nikolai stuttering nervously as the tips of his ears flushed red and the heat crept up his neck with shyness and embarrassment at how he was making such a simple task, a spectacular disaster and wished someone would kill him now and put him out of his misery. 

You raised your eyebrows in slight amusement and concern as you queried “Are you having a stroke?”

“More like a heart attack because of you, you oblivious beautiful wonderful girl!” thought Nikolai who was having a cardiac arrest, his heart beating at speed that was completely inhumane and he could feel himself sweating nervously and his head spin in dizzy admiration, hope and fear at the thought of asking you out. 

“WouldyouliketospendadaywithmeinRavkajustthetwoofus?” asked Nikolai immediately in one breath, his words sounding like messed up gibberish that could hardly be interpreted and understood. 

You raised your eyebrows quizzically trying to figure out what the hell had just come out of Nikolai’s mouth because it sounded like a very complicated made up word or a language that had just been invented as you replied firmly “That’s it. I’m worried about you. I’m going to get -”

“NO! I MEAN, WOULD YOU LIKE TO ACCOMPANY ME AND SPEND A DAY WITH ME IN THE TOWN, JUST THE TWO OF US?” yelled Nikolai in a frenzied panic and fright as the words slipped out of his mouth before he could control himself because he wanted to seize this chance before it slipped away and you left him in a week. 

Nikolai suddenly realized that he had just yelled at you to accompany him and felt absolutely embarrassed and horrified at what he had just done as his eyes grew wide and he felt humiliated beyond belief wanting the floor to open up and just erase him out of existence.

His humiliation and embarrassment only grew when you laughed in amusement as he lowered his eyes in shame because your rejection hurt him deeply and bitterly when he heard you chuckle in amusement “Oh Saints! That’s what you were worried about this whole time? You could have just asked me, you know.”

Nikolai felt his world screech to a halt at her mind blowing response as he questioned his reality and met your kind eyes that twinkled with mischief as he rasped out hopefully “So... you’re not saying no?”

“You really are a complete idiot, Nikolai.” you replied honestly and truthfully as you rolled your eyes at him and placed your hand on his shoulder with a wide grin “Why would I say no? You’re my friend. It would be lovely to spend time with you.”

Nikolai’s overwhelming happiness was slightly spoiled by the pang of hurt and disappointment he felt when you called him just a friend. But Nikolai knew you were still healing from the bitter heartbreak you had suffered at the hands of Kaz and you needed time. Nikolai was fine with being your friend. He wanted to be more than that in his heart but he knew that it was too much of him to hope for you to love him back now. All he could do was get to know you, enjoy your company, cherish your friendship and try not to fall more in love with you.

How hard could it be?

But right now, it was very hard because you were absolutely stunning as he felt his heart shattering into pieces at the unintentional and unknown rejection from your side as he replied with a bright smile, trying to hide how sad he felt “Yeah. Friends. That’s right we are friends. Who aren’t definitely going on a date.”

“Yeah. After everything that’s happened with Kaz, and all the people I know who were friends but started dating and then broke up... it becomes messy.” you replied honestly finding it very easy to confide how you felt to Nikolai who had become your close friend “I have a rule now. I don’t date anyone I’m friends with.

Nikolai’s heart dropped in disappointment and ached with absolute pain and rejection as he realized that he was never going to have a chance with you as he struggled to find the words through the feeling of disbelief that he hid with a bright smile as he joked “Yeah, yeah, um - that’s funny because I have the same rule. No more friends. I’m completely into dating my enemies.”

“Yeah. And if you break up with them, you can always get your revenge on them and kill them.” you replied with an amused laugh but you felt that you had said something wrong because Nikolai’s smile wasn’t reaching his bright hazel eyes. 

Nikolai managed to laugh through the pain he felt as he retorted with a grin “Very violent but I agree. Nice and easy.”

The silence engulfed them and it felt awkward and tense between the both of you. The silence between you and Nikolai had never felt uncomfortable before and you racked your brain trying to think of what you might have said to make Nikolai upset. You shifted from one foot to another and Nikolai fiddled with his sleeve nervously refusing to meet your eyes and you felt absolutely hurt wondering how you could make the silence easy and companionable like it always was between the both of you. You felt uneasy at how Nikolai hid how upset he felt and wanted to see him genuinely smile. 

The words burst out of your mouth before you could stop yourself because you could not bear to see Nikolai upset “Hey, are you a vegetable?”

Nikolai looked at you in absolute confusion “What?”

“Because if you were a vegetable, you’d totally be a cute - cumber.” you answered easily with a wide and playful grin hoping that Nikolai would cheer up. 

Nikolai’s eyes widened in surprise as he processed what you had just said and pink dust scattered over his cheeks as he felt shy and laughed in amusement and understanding as he felt his his heart flip with adoration for you as he highfived you “Oh that’s good! You got back at me with the pick up lines! I didn’t know you had them up your sleeve.”

You laughed in joy as you smiled fondly at Nikolai as you realized that one day, he was going to love someone heart and soul and something within you ached bitterly at that thought feeling possessive of Nikolai as you smiled at how he talked enthusiastically, his eyes gleaming with bright light that only belonged to a million stars that burned in a far away galaxy.  

You wanted to sink into the darkness of your bitter disappointment and painful self - loathing but Nikolai Lantsov was the beautiful sun, the burning fireplace, the warmth that gave you hope and lifted your spirits up even in the darkest of times. 

You were losing faith in love but Nikolai Lantsov made you believe deep down that you still deserved to dream and love again.

And as you gazed at Nikolai’s kind and handsome face, it struck you that though you had lost your family and innocence, had blood on your hands that could never be washed off and had your heart broken and bruised, you had found a safe place that you could call a home with Nikolai Lantsov. 

And as Nikolai’s bright hazel eyes met your own and your hand slipped gently into his, you both realized that you both had been fighting memories all on your own and standing in the rain alone for too long as you clung onto your bruised hearts and broken homes but now after a long time, both of you had found someone who gave them hope and someone who they would stay for and love the most.

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[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Can you please write Yandere Dimitri from fire Emblem forcing Edelgard’s sister to marry him after he won the war.

Ok I'm having a little too much fun with this idea. Would have finished this sooner but I got sick then as soon as I recovered I got back pains and was pretty much bed bound for a few days. Feeling so much better now though.

Chapter one is just mainly setting the plot.

Eagle under the lion's paw Pt 1

(Yandere Dimitri Blaiddyd X female reader)

The last thing you could remember was being taken underneath the castle you and your siblings called home. you were told that it wasn't safe outside so you had all been brought to the basement. You held your sister Edelgard's hand tightly as only a small candle dimly lit the room and the muttering amongst your siblings grew.

You woke up in the middle of a farm, luckily the owners were nice enough to offer you a place to stay when they found you. You felt strange as you walked back with them, like your body was not your own. They took you in and allowed you to bathe. You looked at yourself in the mirror and were shocked. You were older, a young adult at this point. You nearly fainted from the shock but were able to catch yourself on a bench before you fell. Even as you scrubbed all the mud off of you you cringed, it felt so wrong to be in this body. How could this have happened? You desperately raked your mind for a clue but you couldn't remember anything after being left in that room.

After you had bathed the farmers had offered you dinner and asked you questions.

"What is your name dear?" The lady asked.

"It's (Y/n) von Hresvelg" you replied. The couple's eyes widened before they began to whisper. You couldn't quite make out what they said to one another.

"You are a member of the Adrestian empire's royal family? I thought the only child of the emperor was Edelgard" she said in what you assumed was a sceptical tone. Edelgard was the only child? No, that wasn't true. What about all of your other brothers and sisters? before you even had the chance to figure out how to respond there was a knock on the door. The man got up and answered the door.

"My apologies for interrupting but I heard my Niece was spotted around here. Do you perhaps have an idea as to where she might be?" a familiar voice asked. It was your uncle's.

You stood up and made your way to the door and he was indeed there.

"There you are" he said, his voice unusually cold. The man moved out of the way so that you could join him. Your uncle did not look a day older than when you had last seen him.

"Thank you for caring for her" he thanked the couple, however his voice held very little gratitude.

"Now we should be leaving" he said as he held your wrist. It struck you as strange, he held your wrist with authority. Very unlike him.

"Thank you for the hospitality" you thanked them before you left. He took you to a carriage and you entered.

"What's happened?" You ask him as soon as he enters.

"What do you mean (Y/n)?" He asked you. Almost cluelessly.

"I can't remember anything after I was seven, I have no clue what's going on" you explained.

"Strange… I was told your carriage was attacked by bandits as you were on your way to the officers academy, perhaps you sustained a head injury that left you with memory loss during the attack" he explained.

"What about my siblings? The couple told me that Edelgard was the only child of the empire" you asked.

"There was a riot in the empire many years back, you and Edelgard were the only survivors out of your siblings after that attack" he explained. It broke your heart when you heard his explanation. Tears trickled down your face. You hadn't been as close to your other siblings as you had with Edelgard but still it hurt to hear they were gone. You expected your uncle to at least offer you some sympathy like he usually did but he just sat there.

"We'll be at the officers academy later tonight. Tomorrow you'll be attending your first class, I'm sure that Edelgard will be overjoyed to know you're safe"

When you had arrived you were quickly guided to your dorm as your uncle explained the situation to the professor. While you walked to your room you noticed a white haired woman staring at you. She seemed familiar, almost friendly if it weren't for her scrutinising gaze. You tried to pay her no mind as you continued your way to the room.

You didn't even unpack, you just laid in bed and thought about what your uncle said. You were sceptical, he was a completely different person, he used to be so caring. You remember when he had taken you and Edelgard to Fargus. You had been very ill at the time and he'd spent all the time he could to comfort you but now after a supposed attack he didn't even ask you if you were alright.

You stayed up for hours tossing around in bed. Unable to sleep with your head filled the brim with questions.

🦅🦅🦅

That morning you had gotten ready as quickly as possible and made your way to class. Most of the class had already arrived and their gaze was on you.

"Hey it's the new girl!" a blue haired boy shouted and the green haired boy next to him turned his head to look at you while still resting his head on his hand.

"Can you lower your volume Casper, the whole school probably heard you" he responded lethargically to the boy beside him.

You turned to the left and saw that white haired woman from last night at the bookshelf. She noticed you and that stony gaze returned.

"So what's your name?" A feminine voice asked. You turned to see a brunette lady. You jumped a little at how close she was to you.

"Aww I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you" she apologised as she took a step back.

"No I'm sorry, I should have noticed you sooner" you apologised.

"So what's your name?" She repeated.

"(Y/n) von Hresvelg" you told her and she gasped.

"Edie, you never told us you had a sister!" She exclaimed as she addressed the white haired lady. She looked at you like you were a ghost, and you assumed you held a similar expression to her.

"Edel" you muttered as you stared back at her. You should have realised sooner it was her but that hair, why was her hair white? Everything was getting stranger by the second.

"You look at eachother like this is a reunion after being away from each other for so long"

"It is" Edelgard spoke in a voice that was stern and held no love. It made you want to cry. She was the older sister who had always stood up for you and made sure you were safe. She would help you when you fell and let you sleep in her bed whenever you had nightmares. She was your protective older sister. What happened to make her reaction to you filled with such disdain? You didn't want to bring it up now for who knows what this issue was an what drama it would stir.

Soon a lady, elegant yet somewhat unkempt, entered the class.

"I see you're getting to know our new student, (Y/n)" she commented as she made her way to the podium.

"Please be accommodating to her, I've been informed she has some memory issues following an injury she sustained" she notified the class as the few who were standing quickly got into their seats.

You followed suit and sat down to before the class started.

You eagerly took notes but you couldn't help but notice the occasional glances both Edelgard and an ebony haired man shot at you. Why were they continuously looking at you like you were going to do something?

When class ended you decided to try and talk to Edelgard. You followed her as she left but was quickly stopped by the man who had been staring at you earlier.

"What do you intend to do?" he asked you with venom dripping off of his words.

"I want to talk to Edelgard" you explained, you attempted to pass him but he grabbed you by the wrist.

"I cannot allow that," he replied.

"So I'm not allowed to talk to my sister? I don't understand why I can't" you said as you pulled your hand out of his grip.

"Tell me, why can't I?" you continued.

"My job is to protect her highness at all cost" he replied, not really giving you a proper answer. It hurt like a knife to be told you weren't even allowed to talk to your own sister who you loved and adored and the way he looked at you with those eyes made you feel like you were a horrible person. What did you do to deserve such treatment? To be identified as a threat to your own sister.

You couldn't take it anymore. You turned away.

"I understand the concern for my sister…" you just sniffled, holding in your tears before walking the other way. You didn't know where you were going, you just walked you ended up in what you assumed was the training ground. Your eyes fell onto a blonde haired man wielding a lance with ease. You stood and watched him. His movements had you in a trance.

'If only I could wield a lance like that' you thought to yourself. Perhaps that's what you'd do. Professor Manuela had informed you that the students of the academy participated in monthly missions where students would fight alongside the knights of Seiros. So it was best if you learnt how to wield a weapon soon.

You took mental notes on how he manoeuvred. Perhaps tomorrow you'd come back and train.

🦅🦅🦅

The next day was much the same as before. You had questions thrown your way about being a Hresvelg. Still Edelgard and the ebony man who's name was Hubert watched you closely. The brunette yesterday who'd introduced herself as Dorathea sat next to you and chatted with you during breaks. She was a former opera singer from the mittlefrank opera company. She reminded you of your oldest sister Karoline, she had been fair and loved to sing.

"I don't understand why Edelgard is avoiding me" you sighed. You'd already explained your memory dilemma to her and she'd been very supportive. Offering you any help you'd need.

"Edie's probably just in shock. I'm sure you two will be comfortable with each other again, maybe just do your own thing. You're both still in each other's presence, she'll see you living your life and she'll have to start talking to you again" she explained.

"It's much the same with adoring men" she commented.

Maybe she was right, you should try and be independent. Just give Edelgard some time.

"That sounds like a good idea" you replied.

"So do you want to have some afternoon tea after class?" She asked.

"I was actually planning on going to the training ground for a bit, since I'll have to be ready for whatever this month's mission is but I'd be happy to have dinner with you at the dining hall" you replied.

"Understandable, dinner sounds great thought" replied with a smile.

🦅🦅🦅

When class ended you grabbed your things and put them back in your room before making your way to the training ground. You made your way to a stand that held all the training lances and grabbed one, to your surprise they were a bit heavier than you thought. You stood in one spot and attempted to swing it around, you struggled a fair bit, nearly falling in the process. You wondered how that man yesterday made it look so easy.

You got lost in your thoughts, trying to figure out how to use the lance. Not noticing that the blonde haired man approached you.

"Try putting your right foot back a little more" he suggested, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Oh, thank you" you thanked as you repositioned yourself like he suggested.

"Is this your first time wielding a lance? I'd be more than willing to teach you" he offered.

"Thank you…" you replied.

"Dimitri" he said.

"Yes, thank you Dimitri" you said with a nod.

"It is no problem, I assumed you'd be here trying out a lance after yesterday" he said.

"You saw me?" You muttered. Rather flustered.

"There's nothing wrong with watching me spar, I'm flattered to have inspired you to try it out" he reassured you.

"Bend your knees and try to swing now" he said as he took a few steps back.

You followed his instruction before swinging the lance. His advice helped, you didn't feel like you were going to lose your balance, yet something still felt off.

"Did that help?" He asked.

"It did but something still feels off" you replied. His blue eyes inspected you as he walked back to you.

"Try moving this hand closer to the head" he told you as he tapped on your dominant hand and moved his finger to the new spot.

Again you followed his instruction and he gave you room to swing again. This time it felt much easier.

"That was an excellent swing, with some more practice I'm sure you'll wield a lance with no issue" he praised you.

"Thank you Dimitri" you thanked him.

"Could you teach me some more? Only if you're willing to of course" you asked him.

"Of course, I believe training together would benefit us both…" he replied. He paused for a second before speaking again.

"Forgive my rudeness, It slipped my mind to even ask your name" he apologised.

"It's fine, my name is (y/n)" you replied as you held out your hand to shake his. You didn't want to share your last name as it had only caused you drama since attending.

"You are Edelgard's sister?" He asked as he took your hand and shook it.

"Ah you already know" a sliver of disappointment escaped your mouth.

"Word travels fast around the monastery," he replied.

"It is a near impossible feat to keep a secret here" continued.

[quimera-cami]

Drawing Headcanons request???

Hey, remember the nikto domestic Headcanons thing I did? Sooo I really want to draw more of it and I though it would be a fun idea if I drew request sent by you guys.

I've never done this kind of request before so I don't know how this is gonna work. But hey, let's give it a try.

Also! Just for now, I'll only accept request for the spetsnaz boys.

(Nikto, Rodion, Maxim, Dimitri).

The request thing is simple, just ask a Headcanon, an idea, an anything character x reader thing like you'll normally requests for written stuff and I'll will draw it! ✨✨✨

There's some rules though:

-As I said before, just the spetsnaz boys.

-Just for now, I'll draw fem! or gn! Y/n Only.

-I will not draw explicit NSFW. Although I'm fine with drawing some insinuations... (if you catch my driff).

I think that's pretty much all.

Not gonna lie I think it will take me hell of a time in complete jut one (like three at four days, depending of my mood or work schedule ;_;). But I really want to do this! So yeah, feel free to send a request ^^

[frickingnerd]

the words i most regret are the ones i never meant to leave unsaid

pairing: dimitri alexandre blaiddyd x gn!reader

summary: out of all of the regrets dimitri has, being unable to tell you how he feels about you is his biggest regret...

during the last five years, dimitri has been piling up regrets. even before that, he was fueled by nothing but regret. so many people had died and he was unable to do anything about it. there wasn't a day where he wondered what could've been, how things might've changed if he only… but no, it never brought him anywhere. it was all just wishful thinking. he couldn't do anything but pile up more and more regrets with each passing day, as they began to consume him and turn him into nothing but a monster. 

and out of all those regrets, there was one that weighed down on him especially heavy. one thing swore he would never forgive himself for. 

the thing he regretted the most was never telling you how he felt about you.

dimitri had loved you more than anything. when it seemed like darkness would consume him, you brought light into his life. you had saved him time and time again. but in the end, he was unable to save you. 

you were killed by soldiers of the adrestian empire, trying to protect him, after he had run into battle without thinking. you died in his arms that day, bleeding out from your wounds. your last words were his name, as you desperately reached out his hand to touch his face. 

dimitri had never been able to forget that sight. nor had he been able to forgive himself for letting you die in his stead. but what haunted him the most was that he had always taken you for granted. he had never told you that he loved you, never thanked you for your help and never offered any compensation. you gave him everything and got nothing in return. you even gave your life for his, when it should've been him who died that day…

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Silver Lining || Dimitri Belikov

Dimitri Belikov x dhampir!f!reader Summary: When a date goes wrong Dimitri is there to save you in more ways than one. Warnings: fighting, strigoi killing, mentions of reader being attacked, reader wounded WC: 3k

It was stupid, so fucking stupid. You should have been paying more attention to where you were going but your only thought had been to run. You still couldn’t quite believe how a date had gone quite so terribly wrong. One moment Devon was sweet and kissing you goodnight, the next he was trying to sink his fangs into you, right in the middle of the street. 

You looked around the unfamiliar meadow and saw the glow of the city peeking over the trees to the north. You had run too far, way too far for the wards to protect you. 

A twig snapped and you spun towards the sound. You were dressed in a curve hugging pencil skirt for date night, not your combat clothes to take down a strigoi. You didn’t even have your stake with you. That just added to the level of embarrassment you would feel if you survived. 

“Little bunny, hop, hop, hopped too far from the burrow.” The voice choked you at how close it sounded and you were getting dizzy with how fast you were spinning trying to pinpoint where it was coming from. “Hmmm, what a pretty snack.”

“I’m going to kill you,” you swore, but the waver in your voice gave away the lack of self confidence and only made the strigoi laugh. 

“Come here and try,” he chuckled as he stepped out of the treeline looking just as terrifying as the training videos had shown. 

Now that you knew where he was, you turned your back and ran. It was the first lesson every guardian was taught before they could pick up a stake: run fast, run away. It felt like a betrayal to the guardian code to turn your back on a strigoi but you had no weapon and going hand to hand would only lead to your death. 

Survive, that was the goal.

The glint of a metal roof caught your attention as you reached the peak of a small slope and you found a small hunters cabin a few hundred metres to your right. You only had a split second to decide, north towards the wards or south towards the cabin. The snapping of sticks under fast feet to the left made that decision for you, he was herding you away from the wards so you ran for the cabin.

Every muscle in your body burned with the effort it took to keep a fast pace and you crashed into the door of the cabin, smashing the lock and swinging it wide open. Another string of curses left your lips as you found it had been left dilapidated for a long time, dust coating every inch of the mostly bare room.

The light of the moon was blocked as a body filled the doorway and the hope of it being an armed guardian were doused when you turned. A sinister smile greeted you and you involuntarily stepped away, backing yourself into more of a corner. Stupid, so fucking stupid. 

The strigoi attacked with a snarl and bared his salivating fangs that were going to rip your throat out. You tried to stop him but it was like punching a brick wall and you resigned yourself to your fate.

You refused to close your eyes and give him the satisfaction of seeing you cower in your last moment but the killing blow didn’t come. Something behind him had stolen his attention and he shoved you as he turned. The wooden walls of the cabin broke from the force of his throw and you screamed as pain lanced through you, your body smashing through the wall to land on the ground outside. 

Inside you could see two figures moving with a speed you couldn't fathom, one was the strigoi, the other was Dimitri. 

“Get back to the wards,” Dimitri ordered as he knocked the strigoi back and spared a worried glance in your direction. 

You pushed yourself to your knees and cried out at the stab of broken ribs trying to escape through your skin. Your ankle wasn’t feeling much better but you were fairly sure it wasn’t broken when you put some weight on it - you just weren't going to be running anywhere on it. 

A pained grunt caught your attention and you saw Dimitri go down with a hard hit before he quickly regained his footing and spotted you staring at him. “What are you still doing here? Run!”

You pointed and screamed, “Di-”

He spun before you could finish warning him and grabbed the strigoi’s shoulders just in time to stop him getting close enough to sink his fangs into Dimitri’s throat. It was too close, you had to help. Casting your eyes across the yard you spotted an axe buried in a loose stack of wood and bit your lip to stifle the cries of pain as you limped towards it.

“Dimitri!” you shouted as you shoved the axe through the hole your body had created. “Here.”

You pushed the axe and it spun across the floor to where he desperately grappled with the strigoi but his impressive strength was beginning to fail him. You held your breath as the sharp head spun towards him but he caught the wooden handle before it could hit him, swinging it up with a deep growl. 

The strigoi screeched as the axe buried deep into his side but the wound wouldn't kill him. If anything he looked more pissed off as he backed away, the axe pulling free with a wet squelch. Momentarily distracted by the flesh and blood spilling from his body, the strigoi looked away and Dimitri struck. 

He looked like an avenging angel as he leapt from the ground with the axe raised high and swinging in a smooth arc. The strigoi didn’t even have the time to look shocked before his head tumbled to the floor with a thud. The axe followed with a clatter, then an eerie silence descended upon the small space.

“Are you alright?” you asked from where you waited outside. 

Dimitri nodded, stopping to pick up his stake that had been knocked away in the fight. The need to apologise built along with tears but Dimitri climbed through the hole and carefully cradled your bruised face. “We will talk about this inside the wards.”

He hooked his arm around your waist and took the weight of your sore ankle before setting a quick pace northward. 

“How did you find me?” you asked as you spotted the torchlight from a patrol guardian through the trees.

“I was climbing the turrets when I saw you go past.” He sighed and slowed to a stop, knowing the wards were within reach. “I’ve never seen you like that, not even with the strigoi back there, you looked like you were running for your life. What happened?”

You took a shuddering breath and shook your head. “If a strigoi attacks, we defend ourselves however we can and find honour in killing them. But a Moroi…”

“A Moroi?” he frowned before his teeth ground together and he stepped closer so he could whisper. “A Moroi attacked you.”

“I should have known better,” you whimpered into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight. “I’m just dhampir. The only thing a Moroi man would want from me is my blood or my body.”

They come first. It was a lesson instilled into you from the moment you started elementary school. To raise a hand to a Moroi would get you sent to the communes to be a blood whore or a breeder to whichever Moroi man showed an interest in you, it was worse than a death sentence to you. He was right, you had been running for your life. If you had stayed a second longer after your date ended then you couldn’t have stopped your fist from meeting Devon’s face. You would have been shipped out before morning dawned.

“Whoever he was, he was a fool,” Dimitri snapped, the anger not at you but for you. A softness returned to his eyes and his thumbs gently caressed your face. “You deserve a man who will get on his knees and worship you.”

“It was -”

“Don’t tell me his name,” Dimitri shook his head. “I don’t think I have the self control to stop myself from doing something we would both pay for.”

You shut your eyes so you didn’t have to see the war of emotions on his face. “Thank you for coming after me.” 

You lost all ability to breath as he pressed his lips to your forehead and your fingers gripped his shirt harder as they shook. “I’ll always come for you.”

He held you in his embrace for a minute longer before pulling away and looking through the trees. “The patrol has gone, let’s get you inside and cleaned up. Don’t breathe a word about tonight to anyone.”

You nodded and let him help you walk through the wards, leaning on him more than you needed to since you didn’t know when you would have the chance to be this close to him again. Instead of walking back to the dhampir hall, nicknamed The Barracks, where other unassigned guardians like you resided, he led you to the private apartment block and up the back stairwell. You lost count of the flights you climbed, the spiral making you dizzy in your exhausted state. 

“Sit,” Dimitri said softly as he closed his front door and grabbed a large first aid kit that was hanging in his coat closet alongside his dusters. “Where does it hurt?”

You laughed but it turned to a groan. “I think it would be easier to tell you where it doesn’t hurt.”

He blessed you with a small smile as he knelt in front of you and lifted your leg onto his thigh. “I don’t think it’s broken,” he said echoing your earlier thoughts as he gently prodded and turned your foot. “Just a bad sprain.”

He grabbed a bandage and expertly wrapped the limb until it was well supported then gestured for you to lay down across the couch, putting a pillow under your leg to elevate it.

“You make quite the nurse,” you admired as he went to the small kitchenette and got you a bottle of water to swallow some painkillers with. “This is a bit more than we were taught in basic.”

“My mother was a nurse,” he said with a smile as he thought of her. “She taught me everything she could for these exact moments.”

“Strigoi attacks?” You tried to shift to get more comfortable but the movement shifted your ribs and a hiss of pain escaped your lips.

Dimitri shot forward and helped you ease back down, his face inches from yours when he said, “Looking after the people I care about. I need to check your ribs.”

His gaze broke away and you were released from the spell he had bound you with.

You were coming down from the adrenaline high and about to crash at any moment given the shivers that were wracking your body but he couldn’t wrap you in the inviting blanket that lay beside him until he finished his inspection. It took all your concentration not to jump from the spark that his touch produced when his fingers met your skin, brushing your shirt up so he could see the deep purple bruises across your ribcage. 

“Shit, definitely broken,” he murmured as he traced his fingers over each rib, his eyes flinching with each whimper of yours. “We could say it was an accident during a practice session. Alberta might have some questions but I can handle those.”

“What? No, Dimitri, I’m not going to the clinic,” you said sternly, reaching for his hand and squeezing it tight, “and you are not going to take the fall for this. You could get in serious trouble.”

“And you could be seriously hurt,” he countered with such concern fresh tears burned in your eyes. 

“Please, don’t take me there.”

His eyes alternated between your pleading face and your bruised torso as he internally battled himself but finally gave a resigned sigh and a nod. “Fine, but you can’t go back to The Barracks looking like this.” While female dhampir numbers were low they weren’t non-existent and The Barracks was a communal living space with little privacy. The limp and the bruises would be noticed almost instantly. “You can have my room.”

“First you risk your life to save me and now you are offering me your bed? I’m starting to think you are a masochist, but I couldn’t possibly let you do that.” You reached for the blanket to tuck yourself in but he was quicker, snatching it and holding it out of your reach. 

“If you want it, you know where to find it,” he said seriously as he backed away into the bedroom. 

The adrenaline crash began, your teeth chattering and your skin broke out in a clammy cold sweat. Stubborn pride refused to let you give in but you were beyond freezing. You couldn’t even focus on moving to crawl to the room like you wanted, there was just ice spreading through your veins and invading every inch of your body. 

“Ready to warm up? Shit,” Dimitri cursed as he peered around his doorway and saw your state. He was across the room in seconds, his arms scooping you up from his couch and carrying you to his room where he laid you down on his bed. Even with his blankets wrapped around you the shivering didn’t stop and he paced wildly up and down the length of his bed.

“So…cold…” you whispered through chattering teeth. 

He let forth a string of curses that you would have normally found entertaining coming from him and began to shuck off his long leather duster, tossing it across his dresser drawers before kicking off his boots. You couldn’t even enjoy the sight of his shirt and trousers being removed before he slipped under the blankets and carefully pulled you into the curve of his body.

His warmth spread over you and soon you were enveloped in more than just his arms but his calming scent too. The room no longer felt like it was the epicentre for an earthquake nor like it was the north pole, you were finally coming back to yourself. The high and the low drained you completely and with Dimitri whispering soothing words you couldn’t understand, you drifted off into a much needed healing sleep. 

You were in that delirious state between awake and asleep, where everything seemed real and dreamlike all at once. But you determined it had to be a dream when you found yourself in Dimitri’s arms. 

“I wish you were Moroi.” You whispered as you snuggled closer, burying your face in the crook of his neck. 

His voice was laden and gravelly as he stirred from his sleep, a desirable mix that had an instant effect on you. “Not exactly what I thought I would wake up to hear.”

You smiled at the fake offence and reached up to run your fingers through his mussed bed hair but then your smile dimmed and concern rose in his eyes. “Guardians aren’t supposed to have this…whatever this is, but no one would care if you were Moroi. It’s unfair.”

“We put our lives on the line everyday to protect them,” Dimitri said as he rolled you onto your back and caged you in his arms. “This connection between us is why it is advised against. When I saw you…if I had been on shift it wouldn’t have stopped me from running after you.”

“You said ‘advised against’.” You pointed out as your heart fluttered wildly.

His lips curled up into a proud smile as he spoke, “I did.”

“Not forbidden?” you confirmed, your hands already beginning to trail down the hard planes of his chest. 

“Not forbidden.” 

His kiss was as dominant as his fighting and you were more than willing to cede control to him as his tongue danced with yours. Greedy moans filled the air when he traced his lips along your jawline and down your neck, erasing the touch of Devon and where he had tried to bite you.

Blood whores talked about the pleasure that could be had being bitten but there was no way it could feel better than what Dimitri was doing, it set your body on fire. Your breathing deepened a calloused hand from years of weaponry ran up your leg, along your thigh and brushed the skirt you wore even higher. He could see the effect he was having on you, he could read the way your body begged for more.

Pain whipped at your ribs when you arched your back to be closer and took a deeper breath to inhale his heady scent. His trained eye caught the wince you tried to hide. His hand froze and you almost whimpered when he pulled away. You tried to keep him close but he took your hands and kissed them as he laid back down beside you.

“You’re still hurt, you need to rest and heal.”

You tried to deny it but you ached everywhere so you just sighed and looked across at him. “And when I am?”

He snaked an arm under your pillow and the other over your waist, avoiding the bruises that littered your skin. “Then I will show you how you deserve to be treated.”

“Don’t get me wrong, being attacked by a strigoi sucked but…” you said as you kissed his shoulder, “this is a pretty good silver lining.”

Dimitri chuckled and shook his head. “I would hardly call almost being killed by a strigoi a cloud.”

“A storm?”

“More like a Category 5 hurricane.”

“Nerd.” You rolled your eyes before closing them and relaxing in his embrace. “I’m still glad it led us to this moment.”

You didn’t have to look to know that he was smiling, the small tightening of his arms and intake of breath gave him away as he whispered in his sleepy voice, “Me too, love. Me too.”

[worldwide-simp]

Here, take some of my writing from when I was brain dead // Yandere Scp x reader

military au

The last shot

not edited Warnings: swearing, graphic descriptions of violence, mention of death “Open fire!” Clef commanded, a barrage of bullets releasing on the word, piercing repeatedly through the invaders skin, flesh and bone.

Blood painted the ground a beautiful red as bodies decorated it like a woven tapestry. He clipped on the safety feature back onto his own double battles shotgun, thinking to himself how life would be so much easier if it didn’t exist.

“I hate my job.” He mumbled, swiping the flecks of red off his face, accidentally smudging it even further in. A rapid fire of quiet curses were released to vent his growing frustration. The dirt under him crunched as he made the slightest of movement.

Kicking at an arm of a fallen enemy soldier, Clef glowered down at them, remembering the time that their bullets pierced his own skin. The difference was that he didn’t fucking die.

“Commander!” A soldier in training shouted to him, the distance between them blurring their words. Nevertheless, he heard it loud and clear, being a sort of mantra that repeated everyday and became his apparent sixth sense.

“What.” His tension filled voice amated the soldier as they closed the large distance between them, standing two metres away. A respectable distance.

“Have- have you not heard the radio..?” They stuttered slightly, shifting their feet below them. Clef’s expression became one of curiousity and believe it or not, apprehension.

“No, genius, mine was blown up.” His gruff voice breathed out, annoyance lacing it like fine poison. As he moved to place his full attention on the soldier, his blond neck-length hair ruffled with the slight breeze and the shorter strands rested on his face.

“Well- um, someone on our squad got shot.” Clef whipped his head to them, eyes widening in shock. If he wasn’t surprised before, he was now.

“Who?!” He demanded, pointing a finger towards them. They spluttered, overwhelmed with the sudden burst of energy from their normally stoic but eccentric commander.

“I don’t know! I just heard about it, they refused to elaborate on whether they are dead or alive.” Clef was extremely confused. Why wouldn’t they say anything about it if someone was injured? They would of had to be immediately taken to Y/N (assuming that they were alive).

“Have you not checked on who is missing?” He snapped, pulling at his hair as a coping mechanism, and it was certainly a painful one. The soldier winced when blood trickled from his scalp.

Clef stopped his erratic tugging and beckoned the soldier to follow, stamping on the bodies of the fallen as a sign of disrespect.

The rest of his awaiting squadron were already on their tanks, preparing the last of the equipment when they arrived, Clef dashing at immense speed while the soldier behind him struggled immensely, chest heaving in shortness of breath.

“Does anyone have any fucking information on that injured member?” Clef inquired, slipping into the entrance, his voice echoing through the tank. Dimitri nodded, answering the question that Clef wanted so desperately answered.

“He is fine, Y/N retrieved him, had a talk with them and it appears that he is in stable condition, it was a shot to the leg, but still something to be concerned about. It is apparent that he won’t step foot in military ground for quite some time.” He answered, Dimitri’s voice a steady calm, his Russian accent slipping through.

Clef nodded in silent thanks, heart rate becoming steady once again. Honestly, the thing he was most worried about was the fact another casualty would’ve slipped under his belt and become another ornament that he had failed his squadron once again.

Even with his seemingly uncaring attitude, Clef valued each and every soldier like a rare gem, their uniqueness shining through and defining their personality. He would never admit that if someone asked him.

The rumbling of hard ground against sturdy tires snapped him out of his delusional thoughts, and he peered out of the small hatch that was the only source of natural light and view (not counting the scope connected to the roof).

A broken static resounded through one of the radios that so happened to be connected to Dimitri. He looked at it for a few seconds before turning the comm on and increasing the volume.

“This is Y/N speaking, for your peace of mind, be assured that Gerald is doing well.” Your voice broke through the tension filled silence, just the fact that you spoke made their hearts fill with warmth.

Clef turned towards the mic, staring at Dimitri expectantly. Dimitri in question glanced up, feeling the gaze of Alto Clef piercing his radio.

“Dimitri, could I talk to them.” He asked, well more so demanded, his attitude turning a 180. A slight creaking of the hull was ignored, the silence tense once again.

“Take it.” He said, glowering towards Clef. Throwing it with a steady hand harshly towards him, Clef caught it with expected ease.

“My my, jealous, Dimitri?” Clef taunted, cooing in a mockingly soft tone. The soldier that had hopped aboard watched the spectacle unfold, waiting for a bloodbath to commence, whispering in the mic that so happened to have you on the other end.

Dimitri glared daggers, but said nothing more. Clef was quite the nasty person when it came to the concerns of you, maybe because you were the only person he trusted in the hellhole, two years was quite the amount of time to know someone. But there were always secrets that could be hidden with a mask and nothing more.

He clipped on the mic, the quiet, unnoticeable conversation between you and Iris was put on a standstill as he switched on comms, a gentle clicking sound indicated it was successful.

“Hello!” You spoke, uncertainty in your tone as the background noise of scissors snapping roughly through flesh and the words of gentle reconciliation reverberated, giving the illusion that it was louder that it actually was.

“Hey Y/N, how are you and Gerald?” Clef smiled, his heart racing through a full F1 track. You paused, though the cutting of flesh resumed, making up for the lack of communication.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking, I think Gerald is the one you should be more concerned about.” You jabbed.

He laughed, it was a bit forced but what wasn’t anyways.

“I believe I also asked about the well-being of Gerald, am I wrong?” In Clef’s mind, he believed you were starting a light-hearted banter, and it was like that, just with the aftermath of atmosphere tension, similar to the fragility of string. When it is woven, drawn taunt and held straight, it turns sharp (not literally).

“Nothing nothing, you don’t understand. Now get over here and we can talk.” You hummed, the shuffling of metal equipment heard and you mumbled something under your breath.

part 1 of 3

[cryptidghostgirl]

Omg <3

Well I’d be obsessed with a fluffy Tyler x reader fic where they both are in jericho’s theater, and they both get the lead roles in a romance play. Through a bunch of rehearsals and stuff they eventually catch feelings 🥰 the play can be whatever you want btw, just preferably a show with a cute romance lol <3

I love this prompt. We're doing and musical of Anastasia.

Once Upon a December (soft!Tyler x Reader)

Pairing: Tyler Galpin x Reader

Warnings: high school au. everybody is in school together. dont worry about it.

Word Count: 1794

Status: Unedited

masterlist

Tyler hadn't wanted to audition but, part of the punishment for his acting out meant that he had to start participating in extra curriculars and being an extra in some musical didn't seem so bad. Everything was going to plan, he had auditioned, sang the little song, massively fucked up the dance on purpose, and then, somehow, everything had gone to shit and he had gotten the male lead: Dimitri. Tyler had no idea how it'd happened but now here he was, at the first reading.

The school wasn't a very big one so even if you weren't friends with someone, you still knew who they were. For example, Tyler had never said a word to the girl but when she entered the room and sat in the seat next to him which bore the name tag 'Anastasia' during the first read through of the script, he still knew her name was Y/n L/n.

Tyler had always viewed Y/n as someone a lot more on the reserved side. She was a music kid, always hanging around with the other tortured teenage artists like Xavier Thorpe and Wednesday Addams. However, after only a few rehearsals, Tyler had begun to think that she was perfectly cast.

Anastasia as a character was headstrong, a little snotty, rude at times, and above all a know it all. So was Y/n. She always had to be right, correcting him when he forgot his blocking, whispering notes to him, even going so far as to grab his script right out of his hands and write things in it, muttering about how irritating he was all the while.

Tyler couldn't help but notice that he was the only one she acted this way towards. Sure, he was new to the mostly rotating group of theater kids the school was home to but he couldn't help himself wishing he was welcome to sit with Xavier, Bianca, and Y/n when they were given breaks or that he could even ask Y/n to go over lines with him.

The first time he'd performed his character Dimitri's solo song My Petersburg for the rest of the cast, he could feel her eyes drilling into him. Y/n, the perfectionist, even got yelled at when they were learning their duet In a Crowd of Thousands for not being able to get into character.

"You're supposed to be in love!" the music director had said, frustration evident in his every word, "act like it!"

After their first full run through of the whole show without scripts, the cast had held a party. It had been a Friday so of course there was loud music and too many drinks and even some drugs. Tyler was surprised he'd been invited at all, even more surprised still when Bianca who played the Countess Lily, dragged him off the front porch of whoever's house they were at and forced him to join a circle for truth or dare.

Everyone was drunk, doing stupid things and making too much noise. Ajax who was apparently part of the stage crew, was forced to drink a whole bottle of ketchup. Devina, the Dowager Empress, revealed she had a crush on one of the schools many football players. Xavier had to streak across the backyard. When Tyler got picked, he chose truth and had to admit why he even auditioned in the first place.

Now that it was his turn to ask questions, he turned his hazy gaze directly on Y/n who sat across from him, cheeks flushed and a mostly empty bottle in her hand.

"Y/n." he began, "Truth or dare?"

She turned away from Xavier who she'd been speaking to and looked lazily across at him.

"Truth." she stated after a moment, crossing her arms on the table and leaning forward, "ask me anything Galpin."

"Why do you hate me?" the words had slipped from his mouth before he could stop them.

Y/n looked incredibly taken aback and stayed silent for a moment before hiding her face in her arms.

"it's embarrassing!" she whined and Xavier patted her back as the rest of the cast and crew cheered her on.

"You gotta answer." Bianca laughed, elbowing Y/n who sat back up.

Her cheeks were somehow even redder then they had been before as she made eye contact with Tyler once more.

"I..." she looked away, "The truth is, I didn't audition for Anastasia. I wanted to play Dimitri. I auditioned for him and I didn’t get him but somehow you, who had never been in a single show before and were apparently being forced to be here, you who were trying to sabotage yourself and get ensemble, you Tyler got him. And I got Anastasia. I mean, I’m grateful, I love her character and I grew up watching the movie so it’s definitely cool to get to play her but….”

“why did you want to play Dimitri so badly?” Tyler asked and Y/n looked up at him.

“I answered your truth already Galpin.” she teased, her whole demeanor flipping in a matter of seconds, “my turn now.”

After that night, the pair seemed to have a little more space for one another. There were some kinder words shared and when they had to learn to do their kiss scenes, something the director had saved until the end, they even found a way to laugh about it.

Tyler thought they were just becoming friends at least, until they were all fitted for costumes.

Xavier and he were running lines while Y/n, Bianca, and Devina we’re getting fitted when they heard a shriek.

“do you think everything is okay?” asked Tyler, turning towards the direction the noise had come from.

“It’s just Y/n.” Xavier responded with a chuckle, “She loves getting costumes.”

There was the sound of rushed footsteps and fabric and suddenly, Y/n burst out from backstage. She was wearing a dress of sorts but Tyler couldn’t quite see it due to the way she was holding it up to run.

“guys!!” she squealed before dropping the skirt and spinning, “look what costuming did for me!! it’s an exact replica of her gold dress from the movie!! I don’t know how they swung this but like,, ahhh!! it’s so amazing!!”

It was then that Tyler realized he has never seen Y/n outside of her baggy jeans and tee shirts. He had never been to a show she was in, never seen her in a dress or something tight fitting before, never seen her so happy.

Xavier wolf whistled and Y/n laughed, walking over to them.

“you look great.” Tyler said and he meant it.

He’d never noticed how pretty she was before but here, eyes shining as she fawned over and explained all the detail in her dress, she was gorgeous.

At last it was their opening night. Tyler saw Y/n mouthing the lyrics to My Petersburg from off stage as he sang it. People applauded at the end of every scene. Before he even knew it, they were at their duet.

“I didn’t tell you that.” Tyler said as Dimitri and when Y/n turned to him to say her line:

“You didn’t have to, I remember!”

Tyler saw genuine joy behind her eyes. This was what she loved and having such a passion for something, Tyler realized, was an amazing thing, wasn’t it.

Everyone’s favorite scene and song had been quartet at the ballet.

Tyler had never really thought about the lyrics to that song before but as he sang them that night, something in them resonated with him.

someone holds her safe and warm

someone rescues her from the storm

simple things but ones things clear

it’s fate that brought us here

He and Xavier sang together and Tyler was glad for the stage directions saying he should be looking at Anastasia because he couldn’t take his eyes off Y/n.

They broke off into the four way harmony at the end and he could feel the power radiating off of Y/n as they all came together at the end for the songs final

find a way Anastasia

Tyler couldn’t seem to help it. As the play continued on, he couldn’t help but wish all of it was real. Y/n and he had become friends but that was only friends. Tyler was beginning to realize that maybe he wanted to be more than that.

i didn’t know she matter to me but now i can see she does

conman and princess get their wish and fairytale comes true

He sang, wishing the show to never end because somewhere in his head he knew the truth of it. Tyler knew the way she blushed on stage was just an act, the way she held him, the nervous glances. The kisses even, it was all an act and he knew that.

Three nights later and their final show was almost over. For a high school production of a broadway musical, they had done incredibly.

amazing set, wonderful costuming, stellar performances.

Y/n stood on stage, singing the shows third to final song with a passion Tyler had never heard from her before. It was amazing how much voice she could fit inside her body.

I should be glad I’m where I should be

but nothing is what it was

I didn’t know he mattered to me

but now I can see he does

As she sang, she made eye contact with Tyler from off stage. He thought he was imagining it but, maybe, just maybe, a little part of his brain though, maybe she was feeling the same things he was.

before he knew it Xavier was on stage and Y/n tore her gaze away from Tyler, fear taking over her frame and reminding Tyler once more that it was nothing but a show. He had to admit, she was an incredible actor.

After their final bows and the curtains fall, Tyler was surprised to find Y/n waiting for him backstage.

“hi.” she said nervously.

“hey, you did really well tonight.” Tyler responded.

“I was just wondering…” Y/n seemed so nervous.

Tyler had never seen her nervous before.

“Do you wanna go to the after party. With me I mean?” Tyler asked suddenly and Y/n looked up annoyed.

“Thats what I was gonna ask!” she whined, crossing her arms and looking away.

Tyler smiled.

“why don’t we get changed and head over then.” He said lightly.

“Fine,” Y/n groaned, “just one thing first.”

And she kissed him. It wasn’t for the audience, for rehearsal, for anything except herself and in that moment, Tyler knew: he was in big trouble.

A/N ngl I was really drunk when I wrote this, I am sorry. I will go back in and edit.