#disclaimer: i don't actually know if it's bad

[pygmi-says-hi]

writing tips - sick/poisoning fics

so since you guys ate up the injury thing like holy fuck 1.5k notes in 24 hours??? hello?? I thought I'd do a semi-related one about sickness.

disclaimer because you guys thoroughly reminded me of this: medicine is fucking weird and everybody reacts differently. this is blanket statement information, not the mayo clinic. idc that 'oh my cousin had that disease and he didn't have that symptom' okay whatever like sorry but that's not the point of this post. this is just to eliminate egregious mistakes. I'm not looking into every possible way this illness will show up. chill your tits. the comments on the last post were just like. dude. chill.

aurkay so.

poison-related illness.

okay poisoning is such a cool concept and there are literally so many cool effects it can have. Idk why everyone goes with the holy trinity of hallucinations, fainting and nausea. like yeah those are good but there are so many other things???

like internal bleeding. literally the best. I love it. It's slow but hella deadly and sometimes people can't even feel it/don't know what's happening. that's such a great option for whump or some angst. like they didn't know until it was too late. gold.

also - some poisons are not dissolvable in food or drink. Like certain medicines, they lose effectiveness if digested instead of injected intravenously. obviously you don't have to know that but if you wanna get into it, do a lil bit of research. could bring up some intriguing scenarios.

infection or sepsis

yoooo. sepsis is lowkey terrifying. infections are similar to actual illness but are caused because of an unsanitary wound. lots of interesting symptoms to browse here:

fever, cramps, fainting, hallucinations, dehydration, delirium, nausea, sores, sepsis, organ failure and on and on and on.

infection happens so fast too. like forget to change a bandage once and boom it could be infected. (is that a whump opportunity I hear...?)

sepsis is like the point of no return pretty much. Unless you've got crazy medical technology, sepsis is really really bad. basically, it's when the body overreacts and starts to damage its own tissue. leading to organ failure and then eventually death. spooky.

regular illness

this just means like a virus or something. a key point of viruses is an elevated temperature and dehydration; the body's primary responses. burn the bug out and dehydrate it.

depending on the illness, symptoms will vary. respiratory infections or viruses involve congestion, coughing, sore throats, a rattly breathing sound, and productive coughing (phlegm and mucus). Stomach illnesses include cramps, nausea, dehydration, dizziness, low blood sugar, weight loss, and diarrhea. these can overlap but mostly those are the groupings.

with fevers come achy joints and sensitive skin. fever is inflammation, like mild swelling everywhere because of how intense the antibody reaction is.

dehydration sets in really quick. really bad dehydration induces dizziness, nausea, diarrhea, delirium, lethargy, and fainting. great motivation for a whumper to possibly restrict whumpee's water intake...?

just some prompts! kinda low energy today sorry I haven't been posting, xox

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

CW: Rape, incest, CSA

This is actually not a strictly A Song of Ice and Fire post here, but it overlaps in some ways so I figured I'd write this.

Anyone who has not read the web serials Worm or Ward and wishes to avoid spoilers, don't read this post:

Disclaimer out of the way, I've found striking parallels between fandom reaction for both A Song of Ice and Fire and Parahumans regarding how characters who survived sexual abuse view their abusers, in a dangerously disturbing way.

For this I'm going to specifically be using the examples of Aeron and Theon Greyjoy from A Song of Ice and Fire to compare and contrast to Victoria Dallon in Ward. All three were psychologically and sexually tormented by their abusers during the course of the series. Theon is a young adult by the time Ramsay gets his hands on him, but Aeron and Victoria were both children when they were molested by family members so they will be the main two characters to compare.

In the case of Euron and Aeron, there are a (sadly very vocal) minority who are ready to dismiss Euron's danger to others by specifically using Aeron's abuse against him. Sure, Euron is evil and horrifically abused him and Urrigon when they were children, and it is understandable that Aeron would be mortified of Euron. After all, he tries to warn people about Euron repeatedly, only for his attempts to stop him to all fail.

The response by this section of the fandom to claims of Euron being built up as a major threat are essentially that Aeron's trauma is in the way of his ability to perceive Euron objectively. Is Euron actually as dangerous as Aeron claims? You can say the same for Theon and Ramsay. After all, Theon is half-mad warning Stannis about Ramsay, and Stannis is bringing some Rational Realness to the forefront by saying "what do I have to fear him for?"

Since GRRM is never releasing another A Song of Ice and Fire book it's hard to say what he intends but he could definitely intend for this to be the case. That said, there is a story featuring a similar character that is completed. Ward!

Victoria Dallon's sister, Amy, is a cape with healing abilities, though as the series progresses we know that healing is just the tip of the iceberg; she can change the biological makeup of living things. Amy is adopted, and has never felt any love from anyone other than Victoria. Amy develops deep romantic love for her sister, however, and then begins a series of bad decisions that just serve to deepen her already deep mental breakdown.

Amy proceeds to; alter Victoria's brain chemistry to give her compulsive romantic thoughts about her, then following healing Victoria after a battle, she spends several days alone with her, during which she repeatedly rapes her, erases her memories of said rapes, until her mental health deteriorates even further and she is unable to use her power properly and turns Victoria into the Wretch: a mass of flesh and limbs and heads, rather than anything actually human.

Then Victoria spends 2 years in a mental institution, stuck in a body she hates, all the while fighting the compulsions Amy left in place. When she finally returns Victoria to normal at the end of Worm, it is actually against her will and not because she had a change of heart or got more confident.

Then we get to Ward, where Victoria is the main POV. As is very obvious, Victoria is struggling with extremely intense PTSD, mentioning Amy is enough to trigger a dissociative flashback, and she wants absolutely nothing to do with her anymore: and fucking rightfully so.

Victoria also warns people about Amy. She warns her therapist to try to reach out to Amy before she hurts someone else, she warns literally anyone who will listen about Amy and what she might end up doing. We may not know what it is that Ramsay and Euron end up doing, but we do know what Amy does.

She refuses all help and doubles down on bad decisions, enslaves people with her powers, later imprisons and torments and touches Victoria again against her will, and becomes the dictatorial monster in charge of an entire planet. Victoria's warnings prove to be extremely prophetic and extremely real.

Now lets get into some discourse shall we?

Despite Amy being a rapist who rapes her sister, enslaves others via mind control, and literally never once improving as a person or acknowledging that her actions even caused harm, there are still those who think Amy isn't at fault. Some might find this post, but I don't really care. Amy is at fault for things Amy did. Victoria is not at fault for hugging her sister like a normal human being when Amy is upset, Amy didn't do her a favour healing her because then she just raped her and then really couldn't fix her back to a human body, and Amy isn't absolved of these sins because she healed a lot of people.

Essentially, Victoria is sometimes blamed for being raped by her sister, the rapist, despite Amy canonically being a manipulative lying liar rapist.

Okay so that doesn't seem to related to what the fandom says with Euron and Ramsay, right? After all, we don't really blame Aeron for being molested and Theon for also being sexually tortured and abused by Ramsay, do we? There are factors as to why that is (mostly that Aeron and Theon are men and Victoria is a woman; if you don't buy this argument look at people who say Cersei deserved to be sexually assaulted by Robert or try to use "the times" as an excuse to overlook Daenerys also being raped by Drogo) but there is an overlap here.

Amy being able to get away with that she did only to go on and hurt so many other people is a meta-commentary on the way survivors of sexual abuse are disbelieved or blamed for what happened to them. Naturally, those real like abusers end up going to abuse other people too. Fuck, even in the fandom, Victoria is still fucking blamed for things that she had absolutely no choice in the matter.

Which leads back to Theon and Aeron. Yes, trauma impacts the way you remember traumatic events, and that means objectivity can get lost at times. It can for Victoria and Theon and Aeron. But that trauma, the dissociation, memory problems, all of these together, are there for a reason. And that's because someone came along, ruined another persons life for their own pleasure and satisfaction, and then got away with it.

Victoria warned the world about what Amy would do, and she was unfortunately correct. Theon and Aeron warned others about Ramsay and Euron. Survivors should be believed, and not be dismissed. After all, it isn't our fault that we got abused. People may hear things about Euron or Amy or Ramsay, but the people who truly know who they are---what they are capable of, what they are actually like---are the people they abused.

So yeah, it's kinda fucking lame when I hear someone go "Stannis gonna prove Theon wrong with facts and logic" as if he doesn't, I don't know, have insight into Ramsay's psychology in ways Stannis doesn't. Same with Euron. Same with Amy.

Also fucking read Ward it hurts as intensely as it kicks ass.

[dangjam]

The Day You Shine : Part One

Pairing: Ateez ot8 x female reader.

(Once I'm done with the story I'll try to make a version for males so everyone can be comfortable❤)

Warnings! : Fluff, Cursing, and a little bit of Angst.(fans pushing one another)

Disclaimer: The people portrayed in this story is not how they actually act. This is an imagine series, therefore it's not real. MDNI!

English, thinking, Korean.

Authors Note: I know it's been a while since i posted. I just didn't have any motivation at the time. I'm back though!. I hope you enjoy!.

-------------------------------------------------------

Flashback: a month ago

It was a beautiful morning, it was sunny with a little bit of wind and the sun casted a ray of light into you're room. The cool breeze that flowed through the window, made your skin coat in goosebumps which awoke you from you're sweet slumber.

You shuffle around in annoyance at the cool air, pulling you're fluffy and dark blue blanket over yourself. You were about to drift off to sleep when suddenly someone barges into the door.

"Y/n, wake up!" Your friend comes walking in. "What do you want Libby?, and how did you get into my house??" You say, groaning at how loud she was and her sudden entry. "First of all, you gave me a key in case of emergency. And second of all, It's time to get up, you don't wanna be late right?....." Libby says as she turns around to walk out of you're room. "Late??.... late for what?", You say from annoyance until you're eyes widen from realization. Today was Ateez's concert in chicago and you FORGOT. You hop up from you're bed and quickly go to look at you're phone. You think to yourself, 10:47am.. That's not that bad, i just have to get ready and buy the members gifts before it gets 12:00pm.

You jump out of you're bed with excitement and give a long stretch. After you're done stretching, you walk over to you're closet to grab some clothes for the day. You flip and scan through you're closet for the right outfit. Once you pick one, you throw it on your bed and run out of your room to get in the shower. The shower you take is almost about 20 minutes, so it's probably 11 something am. You get out of the shower, wrap a towel around you're body, and turn to the sink to brush you're teeth and wash you're face. After all of that, you make you're way out of the bathroom and into you're room. You don't bother to check the time so you just put on you're clothes. You go back to the bathroom to do you're hair and put on you're accessories.

Once you finish, you walk into the kitchen with Libby handing you a plate of bacon, eggs, and waffles. You start eating. "You better hurry up if you want me to drive you to the store AND to the concert early." She says with a hearty laugh. To this, you stuff you mouth full and put you're dish in the sink. You grab your jacket and run to her car. Libby runs after you, laughing at how you're acting. She gets in the driver's seat and drives to the store. You buy the eight special gifts you're planning on giving to Ateez tonight and run to the check out. You open your phone to look at the time. "11:34!?... COME ON" You shout. The people in the store side eye you but you ignore it. Once the gifts are payed for, you run out the store and into Libby's car. On the way to the concert, Libby turns on Deja Vu by Ateez and you guys jam out to the song. You arrive to the destination and practically jump out of the car. "BYE LIBBY!" You yell as you wave at the girl. She waves back at you and then drives off.

——————————————————————

The boys are currently backstage getting ready for the concert. Wooyoung’s hair stylist is just about to finish up his hair, Jongho is talking with Mingi about the upcoming live, Hongjoong is leaning against the wall and is looking over at the clock to make sure everyone and everything is organized for the concert. San and Yunho are going over some parts in the dances, and Seonghwa is helping Yeosang fix a part of his outfit.

Hongjoong notices there’s only 10 minutes left until the show starts. “Is everyone ready?” He asks in a slightly inpatient tone. Wooyoung hops up from his seat after the stylist finishes with his hair and says, “Relax Hyung, everything is okay. No need to be so…what’s the word?”. Jongho pops his head up from his conversation with Mingi and looks at Wooyoung, “I think the English word is ‘uptight’ Wooyoung Hyung” He says with a sing-song voice. Wooyoung nods and looks at Hongjoong. “What Jongho said”, He says with a firm nod but a playful grin. Seonghwa, who was listening in on the conversation rolls his eyes playfully while Hongjoong lightly smacks the back of Wooyoung’s head. “Shut it”, he says in a half annoyed and half amused tone. After everyone is done, the members gather at the far left of the stage that’s still backstage and gather in their usual circle. They put their hands out and on top of each other and yell. “1,2,3… 8 MAKES ONE TEAM!!”, they all say in unison before walking out onto the main stage and are greeted by screams and cheers of their fans.

———————————————————————

You look up as the boys gather on the stage and get into their respective positions for the first song of the concert. You along with other fans wave their lightsticks and cheer loudly for Ateez. The lights that are everywhere on the stage fade out and everything goes dark. Then, the music of ‘Win’ comes on and the lights are on a hue of blues and reds.

It’s now about 8 songs into Ateez’s concert and you’re smiling and singing along to the lyrics of their songs. It starts to feel a bit hot since there’s a bunch of fans jumping around and it’s not exactly cold in Chicago right now. You decide it’s not that big of a deal and try to ignore it. But after a while it gets too much and your vision starts to get blurry. A few people try to talk to you, but you can’t make out what their saying. The people start yelling and waving their hands to get attention from the members. Yunho, who’s the closest to your section notices you and the people who are asking for help he walks over to Hongjoong, who is waving and smiling at another section. “Hyung, I think something’s wrong”, Yunho whispers into Hongjoong’s ear. Hongjoong feels his heart drop slightly and looks around for any danger. He sees you, and he immediately goes over to a staff member and tells them what’s happening.

While that’s happening you start to get more and more fuzzy. You’re sweating bullets and you’re light headedness gets worse. You look around and try to ask for help but you’re voice only makes out a small and weak mumble. You see some security guards and staff members around you and they’re yelling at fans to move so they can get to you. You remember the panic of all eight members before you black out.

—————————————————————

I hope you all enjoyed!, I’m sorry I’m just now posting. But I hope you all have a good day/night!♥️

[fakeasmr]

that suicide squad game may be bad.... but it sure is giving my man Batman Arkham Videos plenty of stuff to post so I like it

[imaginetoomuch]

funniest thing so far playing aai2 again is that my distain for eddie IMMIDIATELY came back. like by the end of my first playthough i was like ah okay i've come around on him i can put up with him i guess. whatever. and then playing i2-2 again i was just like OHHHH THIS IS WHY HE PISSED ME OFF SO BAD!!! the foul energy i was feeling every time he opened his mouth....

[coquelicoq]

okay, i give up. i'm calling it, time of death 11:02pm. i hereby officially unsubscribe from the l0tr newsletter. it's funny because whenever anyone asks me if i'm the type of person who always finishes a book even when i hate it, i'm like, "yes, except this one time i gave up on the fellowship otr after the first 50 pages when i was like 10." here we are decades later and i'm doing it again. and the best part is, i did actually successfully read this book and the other two in the series at some point in those intervening decades. i tried to read this book three times and only succeeded once. 33% hit rate, compared to my rate of 100% for every other book i have ever seriously tried to read. i really want to get it but i just don't. i'm giving myself permission to move on with my life. i'm not ashamed! i will say it since everyone else is too chicken apparently: some people find this seemingly universally beloved book series very boring and i am among their number!

[elytrafemme]

oh God almighty my cousin-in-law just sent the invite for my nephew's second birthday it's SO OVER

[tantamounttoflirtation]

"I love a good finger wagging." "Yes you do. How is Margot?" FFS ARE YOU GONNA MAKE A JOKE ABOUT SCISSORING NEXT? HAVE SOME DECORUM AND JUST CALL HER A DYKE ALREADY!!!!!! JEEZ. WE ALL KNOW THATS WHAT YOU REALLY WANNA DO! WHATS SHE GONNA DO ABOUT IT? TAKE YOUR BOOKS AWAY??? STOP BEING A COWARD. GO ON. SAY IT

[always-a-joyful-note]

I’ve passed 52% (yay!) and I have so many thoughts written down (yes, I take notes while reading (mostly keyboard smashes, though)). But I’m just gonna appreciate all of the relationships being portrayed here between the characters. And the level of complexity their personalities and worldviews and arcs are allowed. And also the fact that they’re allowed to show deep, deep emotion as much as they hide/deny it...and that their changes are so brutally shown to us readers and the people around them.

Just how? I don’t know how this book managed to show such character development, such a progression and changing of relationships, such nuance between characters (not just Dokja @ everyone, but also between the sides themselves), such belief in each other and the person they’ve become (312′s “I believe in the story they had built” - I’m dead), such lightheartedness but also such depth between everyone...

*suddenly throws the book into the wall* And how does it keep one devastating me with all these random exchanges!?!? It’s happening so close to each other and yet it seems so well built-up and paced?! I cannot....

[septembersghost]

I didn't mean you at ALL btw. Your discussions always seemed logical to me considering you have only found connections between the songs and linking it with what SHE CONFIRMED. I also don't mind talking about her/joe considering she herself wrote about it. But I feel like there is a line in my own brain which I don't like crossing(idk how to explain it but certain topics come and I'm like no honey dont go there)(again I never got it from you). For example I don't mind talking about how Taylor

Had fling with TH and circumstances for it because she revealed it. Or looking back at 1989 gifs knowing about her ED. But back then if someone said she had ED I would have been highly uncomfortable since we would have been making assumptions about her personal life. But her unconfirmed flings ( esp AS because they both DENIED IT or zac efron thing AGAIN BECAUSE OF DENIAL). You are right again. It speaks about the celebrity culture more than anything at this point

i didn't think you did! but thank you <3

since you mention this, i do have to admit i firmly believed she had an ED back then and was increasingly worried about her, and it got to the point where seeing her was so triggering for me that i avoided photographs of her altogether at that time, but it's only because i recognized things i'd already seen and experienced in myself, and i wasn't sure i was right, i was just concerned. if i hadn't had the firsthand experience, it likely would've not felt quite that acute to me. that said, i also didn't discuss it publicly, like i didn't say i thought CH was terrible, or didn't mention her in 2016 when i thought it was evident she was struggling pretty badly. the only person who heard me express any of this at the times it was happening was my mom (and i hate that i was right, especially in regards to her ED, because i wouldn't wish that on anyone, and i'm so proud of how far she's come and her ability to mention it and continue with her recovery). i do think sometimes we see reflections of things we understand in others, but we should still be cautious when talking about it on a public forum out of deference to them as humans.

thinking she's hooked up with people who have flat-out denied it or have only been mentioned as rumor is simply disconcerting/disrespectful to me and feels like leaning into the slut shaming culture even if it's not intended that way. but things she's written about and described in detail herself are public record, they're essential and a part of her art, so we can decide how to approach that and how to respectfully discuss it and its meaning.

I feel like there is a line in my own brain which I don't like crossing no same, and that's probably different for everyone and that's fine! we have to recognize what our own boundaries are and what we see as okay to approach. being interested/curious about artists and their experiences itself is never a negative thing! it's very human and universal, audiences have been captivated by the people who create things for centuries, it's all in how we engage and how we talk about and treat them. the moment it becomes cruel or dehumanizing is the moment i'm not interested in seeing it. but recognizing their struggles/joys and their inspirations and their complexities is an extension of empathy.

[violexides]

was thinking earlier today about how i’m not really a mean person but i would consider myself the meanest person in my friend group, excluding maybe one other person i tie with. and then i realized that it just so happens me and this other people are the only two lesbians in the friend group holy SHIT we are not fighting the fucking stereotype are we 😭

[sabertoothwalrus]

tips for getting people to like your ocs

*disclaimer: this is based on what’s worked for me, aka an artist that likes to make comics/storyboards. so this advice is directed at people who do that

you can do things like this:

Which is fun! Character sheets like this are great, especially for personal reference! But frankly, I don’t think most people engage with this (at least I personally don’t). You could have the coolest character in the world, but it will be harder for most people to feel invested when they’re presented so neutrally like this.

My main piece of advice is: get better at writing.

That might sound harsh when said like that, but let me explain what I mean! (Not trying to imply you’re bad at writing either!)

What I tend to do is just throw characters into situations with as little handholding as I can. Give enough context that readers can follow along, but don’t feel like they’re being explained to.

what can you learn about the characters through their designs alone? (age, personality, economic status, occupation, etc)

what can you learn about the characters’ relationship though their interactions alone? (are they close? familial? romantic? is there hostility? are they tense/relaxed?)

what are the characters currently doing? what were they doing previously (how long have they been talking)? what are they going to do next? can you convey this without dialogue?

how do they feel about what they are doing? are they content? focused? over/understimulated? would they rather be doing something else?

where are they? does it matter? would establishing a setting in at least one panel clarify the scene? is there anything in the enviroment that could tell some of the story?

what time of day is it? what time of year is it? what is the weather like?

Now, with all this in mind, I'm going to give you another example. I'm going to use completely brand new characters for the sake of the experiment, so you won't have any bias (aka I can’t use Protagonist from above, since you already know all about him).

Did this get more of an emotional response from you than the first example? Why do you think so? Who are these characters? How do they know each other? What else can you infer about them? What happened? Who is "she"?

Now, you don't have to actually answer all those questions. But think about them! You can tell people a whole lot about your characters without ever showing them a list of their likes and dislikes.

Obviously, comics aren't the only way to get people invested in your original characters! But regardless, easily digestible formats will grab people's attention faster than huge blocks of text, and comics are a lot less work than doing wholeass storyboards.

Now go and share your ocs with the world!!!

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

Basically all he did was make sure I actually wanted it before doin anything n I really am just totally fucking lovestruck

It's probably cause it was just the other guy for so long that the difference between em is messin up my brain but

How do I fight this?

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Mothers day Meltdown

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: I was just thinking about how transs people should be eliminated from ssociety Jonathan Chait: whoa whoa whoa! joanne! Chait: you can't say it like THAT Chait: so uncouth Chait: you have to say it with your pinky finger extended

Elon Musk: si! issa no good! Musk: issa too mucha trans genocide Musk: you shoulda only post the right amount offa da trans geocide Musk: lookita me, i lika da trans genocide Musk: but i also like many other genocides Rowling: oh MY GOD Rowling: my empire is crumbling!

Chait: we're not saying you can't still be transphobic Chait: you just have to, you know, cool it a bit Chait: be genteel about it Jesse Singal: mommy mommy i have concerns mommy! Chait: see? just like that

Chait: maybe put a little disclaimer Chait: "this transphobia is for entertainment purposes only" Rowling: do you not know who I am?? I'm JK Rowling! Rowling: JK FUCKING ROWLING!!! Rowling: I MADE YOUR CHILDHOOD MAGICAL!

Rowling: no one tellss me to cool it! Rowling: i own the courtss! Chait: joanne Rowling: and another thing!!! Rowling: SSTOP CALLING ME JOANNE!

[midnight society] JK Rowling: hello children Barker: oh look who it is Barker: what are you doing here joanne? Barker: did your terfs tell you to cool it again? Rowling: Rowling: why doess everyone call me joanne

Rowling: i'm extremely mad about thiss transs football referee Barker: what? Rowling: this transs football referee Barker: Barker: what?

Rowling: there's a transs football referee and i'm really mad about it! Rowling: what, haven't you heard? Barker: joanne, why are you here Rowling: and another thing! Rowling: sstop calling me joanne!!

Rowling: people are alwayss all "joanne this" and joanne that! Rowling: wah wah wah joanne joanne joanne! Barker: do you not like your name Barker: you could change it Poe: clive Poe: just let her tire herself out Barker: no no I've got something here

Rowling: people are alwayss "oh wah wah wah joanne, how can you ssay that! your bookss are all about tolerance and love wah wah wah!" Rowling: bitch i think i know what my booksss are about! Rowling: i fuckin wrote them after all!

Rowling: blah blah blah ohh joanne Rowling: i hate when people call me joanne!! Rowling: they should fear to say my true name! Barker: oh damn look at that Barker: looks like we're having a good ol' fashioned mothers day meltdown Poe: clive don't encourage this

King: but joanne! how can you say that? King: after all the lessons of harry potter? King: you made our childhoods magical!

Rowling: people are all "blah blah blah joanne how can you like naziss now when you ssaid they were bad in harry potter" Rowling: first of all, harry potter iss fiction! Rowling: secondly, the death eaters are actually a ssinister coalition of evil transs, sspooniess, fat people, free masonss, and diane duane Rowling: always have been! Rowling: thiss iss NOT a retcon!

Rowling: that sshould be obviouss if you've read the book Rowling: UNLESSS Rowling: you're a fake potterhead, ssteve King: no of course not! i love harry potter

Rowling: DO YOU Rowling: perhaps then Rowling: you would be willing to take a blood oath to the dark lord Rowling: to belong to the dark lord body and ssoul Rowling: who is always correct King: i uh don't think i'm going to take that oath, sorry Rowling: UGH! Rowling: this is just like Radcliffe all over again!