#do i need to like punch it or something or is my tumblr like broken?- - poster

[corrupted-fae-king]

Elder, where is her coffin? is it in your chambers? ... where you do.. you know..? (Mod Xay (I couldn't find a way to send this ask from the white lily blog-))

"...Yes."

"Everything is in my chambers."

[bltngames]

I Have Complicated Thoughts About Mother 3

Note: Patreon donors can listen to this article as a podcast narrated by me. Click to learn more.

Confined to a tiny room, I pulled out my off-brand retro portable and loaded up the fan translation of Mother 3. It had been on my list of "important games to play" for literal years at this point, if not more than a decade, and playing Mother 3 was bottle necking a lot of other stuff -- for example, I also wanted to play Undertale, but swore I'd need to finish Mother 3 first, despite being very graciously gifted Undertale only a few months after it came out on PC. 

Being something I wanted to play, that obviously meant avoiding spoilers. When the ability was added to places like Twitter or Tumblr to block specific keywords, often the first one I'd block was "Mother 3" alongside the names of a handful of characters I knew like Lucas, Claus, and Kumatora. 

I'd played a couple hours of Mother 3 once before, right when the translation patch first came out, so I knew what happened in the opening scenes of the game. I knew what a gut punch it was. It definitely worried me, because as I started the game back up, now in 2021, I silently thought about what it would be like playing a game that starts with your player character's mother dying, as I looked up at my own bed ridden mother. 

It was May of 2021 that she developed debilitating back pain. There was an easy enough explanation for that; we had just gone through a hellish (and potentially legally dubious) renovation forced upon us by the corporation that owned our gigantic apartment complex. Due to a scheduling error, we had less than a week to pack up our whole apartment so they could move us out, renovate the unit, and then move us back in. We attributed her back pain to that moving process -- lifting cardboard boxes and such.

But the back pain kept getting worse. They prescribed her stronger and stronger medication for what they claimed was sciatica, but it never seemed to help. After multiple trips to the emergency room, she was finally admitted to the hospital proper, where her femur randomly shattered during a routine procedure. The femur is the longest, strongest bone in your body, and typically only breaks during extremely violent impacts, like car crashes and stuff. For my mother, it broke as nurses were shifting her around to clean her bedding. Tests for bone cancer seemed to come back negative, so the doctors shrugged at us and considered it a freak accident and just the toll of old age.

There was no way she was making it back up the stairs to our apartment any time soon (if ever), so it was decided she'd have to heal from that broken leg at my brother's place, and since my brother and his wife both work day jobs, I volunteered to take care of my Mom while she got better. Hence why I was stuck in this tiny room, booting up Mother 3 in July or August of 2021.

My Mom never got better. It would be eight months before they told us they had somehow missed detecting her cancer, and by then, it had spread so viciously they weren't even sure where it originally started from. By the time they told us this, she had only days left.

Every step of the way in those 8 months, as she insisted over and over she was healing and told me about all the things she wanted to get back to doing, I believed her. But my Mom also taught me to always expect and brace for the worst. So as I watched Mother 3's Claus and Lucas bury their own deceased mom, there was an undeniable heaviness swelling in my heart. A feeling I could not shake. Though I didn't know yet, I knew something wasn't right, even if the doctors continued to shrug as more symptoms mounted. I could see myself in the same shoes as Claus and Lucas, and I didn't like it.

Once upon a time, I loved RPGs. I cut my teeth on Final Fantasy 2 for the SNES. Though to be honest, I don't remember my time with it very fondly. I didn't really understand the genre; I thought "hit points" referred to points on the body you could be struck at. Like, your elbow is a hit point. Your ear is a hit point. So on and so forth. When the game told me a monster like Scarmiliogne had "3,000 Hit Points", I figured that meant he was a giant, and thus had more surface area to strike at. I was not a very bright kid, but in my defense, nobody ever bothered to correct me, either. 

The first RPG to really stick out in my head was Earthbound (known in Japan as Mother 2). On the surface, Earthbound felt like a kitschy look at hometown Americana, as filtered through the lens of a Japanese writer. Though Earthbound sort of focused on contemporary America when it came out, to me, it's always carried this vibe of Norman Rockwell by way of The Peanuts gang. Though you chat it up with mohawk wearing punks, visit video arcades, and order pizza over the phone, something about its story feels deliberately retro and nostalgic, even in the mid-90's when it first came out. 

Earthbound is about leaving home for the first time, feeling sad about it, and calling your Mom at a payphone to cheer up. It's about taking on huge responsibilities while you're still just a kid swinging a baseball bat. It's about going from your house on a dirt road and traveling all the way up to the big city and beyond. It's about making best friends and bullies, and some of those story elements hit close to home for me. It's about finding an inner strength you didn't know was there, and to keep going, no matter what. It's about music and the secret song that plays in your soul. 

Earthbound is a warm, deeply heart-felt game that also happens to feature zombies, bubblegum chewing monkeys, time travel, secret civilizations full of unknown creatures, and a sequence where you beat up an entire police force one cop at a time. 

That is not the kind of game Mother 3 is. 

I suppose I wasn't really sure what I expected Mother 3 was going to be. All I'd really known was Earthbound, plus the 5 or so hours I'd played of the original NES game, retroactively renamed from "Mother" to "Earthbound Beginnings" in 2015. The retro Americana vibes I felt in Earthbound are even stronger in Beginnings. Though the story of Earthbound Beginnings claims it takes place in the 1980's, the visual identity rings much closer to the 50's or 60's. One of round vintage Cadillacs, greasers with big pompadours, and roaming hippies preaching peace and love. 

Mother 3 deliberately obscures when and where it's set, for reasons that will eventually become clear. You better get used to it too, because holding information back is kind of a running theme. 

Because if I'm being totally honest, I didn't like Mother 3. And at first, I was struggling to figure out why. Earlier when I said "I loved RPGs", that's because my life changed to a point where I felt like I didn't have room for them anymore. Games with lots of dialog meant they demanded my full, undivided attention. When I was sitting at a TV or a computer, I was often multitasking between multiple forms of output -- I'd be doing work while watching a Youtube video or listening to a podcast, and that slowly began to push out story-driven games like RPGs in favor of lighter, more replayable experiences I could engage with while I also did something else.

The one place that was not true was in the portable space. I didn't have a smartphone for the longest time, so I'd often find myself in a commute or on a lunch break at work with nothing to do but pull out something like my Nintendo DS and crank away at an RPG. I devoured games like Final Fantasy IV, Phantasy Star Zero and Bowser's Inside Story. Even games I did not particularly like, such as Kingdom Hearts re:Coded and Pokemon Pearl ended up getting a lot of play. 

At some point that changed, and it changed so gradually I didn't even realize it for the longest time. Over the last ten years I have tried and failed to enjoy portable versions of Final Fantasy V and Final Fantasy VI, and found neither game to my taste. FF5 felt far too boilerplate in terms of structure and I simply got bored of it halfway in. With FF6, hype had led me to believe it was some kind of life-changing RPG super-classic, and I came away extremely unimpressed with both its story and its pacing. 

Both FF5 and FF6 came at a time after I'd finally gotten a few Android devices of my own -- in fact, most of Final Fantasy V was played on a Samsung tablet while I was at work. By now, I was starting to question whether or not having breezy mobile games like Pac-Man 256 was hurting my ability to commit to longer RPGs, even in the last space where it felt like I could sit down and focus on them. 

This is sort of what spurred me to start Mother 3 at all: since I was at my brother's place, my desktop computer and most of my video games were on the other side of town. All I had with me was a 12 year old laptop that was only good as a word processor, and a handheld emulation device called an "Anbernic". As the weeks stretched into months, I needed something to do or I was going to go insane. It seemed like no better time to knock something off my bucket list, but now it was starting to feel like strike three with portable RPGs. 

My malaise only added fuel to the fire: am I now simply too distractible everywhere? Would I rather be playing simple, quick-hit arcade style games, forever? 

It seemed like the perfect scapegoat, too. Maybe the problem wasn't that Final Fantasy VI hasn't aged very well, and more just the fact that my tastes had changed. After all, Final Fantasy VI is deeply beloved and considered one of the best games in the series. Perhaps I was the problem. 

But that's not entirely true. The problem with FF6 is that its story simultaneously felt too complex and dead simple at the same time. By now, I was engaging with RPGs where I'd only play them for 20-30 minutes once a week, and I could never remember what was going on because the plot felt like it was over my head. But when a major event would happen, it was always conveyed in this rushed, shallow way. The reason I could never remember what was going on is because nothing ever felt important enough to leave a lasting impact on me. 

That was never true with Mother 3. Even though it took me close to three full years to finish it, it wasn't that hard to recall where I'd left off, even if "where I'd left off" was over four months ago. 

No, the further I got into Mother 3, the clearer it became that I was not vibing with the story. 

Whereas the first two Earthbound games seemed to be deeply mired in warm feelings of childhood nostalgia, Mother 3 is a bitter, angry game about how much growing up sucks. All three games are of children coming of age and taking their first shaky steps into adulthood, but whereas Earthbound wields rose-tinted sweetness, Mother 3 grabs you by the neck and lays out a cold, harsh reality. 

You play as Lucas, who has a twin brother named Claus, and a father, a cowboy named Flint. The death of their mother shatters their entire family; both Flint and Claus have emotional breakdowns, the latter of which ends in Claus running away from home and Flint leaving to go find him. Both of them vanish. That leaves you, as Lucas, in the care of your grandfather, Alec.

Unfortunately for Lucas, the accident that killed his mother was only the start of a dangerous chain of events, and he soon finds himself swept up in adventure in the way RPG protagonists generally do. Earthbound set itself apart from typical RPG tropes by getting away from fantastical elements and basing itself in real life (albeit a strange, exaggerated version of it). Places with bicycles, fast food, and ATMs.

Mother 3 generally avoids this. You're introduced to Tazmily Village, an isolated farming community of log cabins and dirt roads, buried deep within the heart of the Sunshine Forest.

It's not really known when or where Mother 3 is set. Compared to Earthbound's attachment to contemporary America, Sunshine Forest and the areas surrounding it feature strange creatures like dragons, and even old, dilapidated castles. And yet Mother 3 also seems to have more in common with the wild-west-era American frontier than it does anything else, but even that isn't quite right. 

Tazmily is presented as the ultimate in idyllic life. It's a place where everybody helps everybody, intrinsically, out of the goodness of their own hearts. Poke around at the start of the game and you'll find that though they do have a jail, it's never been used, because nobody has ever committed a crime. 

Until one day, a mysterious man named Fassad appears. He's quick to charm the residents of Tazmily, and introduces the village to the concept of money. He also introduces the concept of deception, as in the night, Fassad steals some of that same money, sowing the first seeds of greed and distrust in these simple people. This rapidly transforms Tazmily from a sleepy, easy-going community to a bustling town of paved roads, automobiles, and even, thanks to further gifts from Fassad, technological entertainment delivered by his "Happy Boxes" -- cubes with embedded, glowing screens that emit a hypnotic signal intended to make people feel good (and more willing to spend their newly acquired finances). 

As Lucas, you oppose all of this. Fassad is clearly an evil, scheming man, both establishing and sabotaging a structure of financial power for his own gain, and its changing Tazmily for the worse. Since Fassad has arrived, Tazmily has seen an increase in monster attacks, and eventually even freak lightning storms that destroy whole entire buildings -- which coincidentally always belong to people that oppose Fassad. 

Funny how that works.

After Lucas and his grandpa Alec accuse Fassad, he uses his foothold with the people of Tazmily to brand you as a traitor. The very people that once treated you like family now curse your name for daring to threaten their modernized way of life. Soon, the first mayor of Tazmily officially disowns you, your grandfather is locked up in the newly built elderly care center, and your house somehow ends up being the next thing obliterated by the mysterious lightning storm. 

It's a hell of a first impression. The dominating message Mother 3 sends in its opening chapters is that things used to be better. Back when it was just people helping people, before the days of television, and cars, and roads, and even money. When the only thing that mattered was the sweat on your brow, the food in your stomach, and where the sun was in the sky. 

It felt cynical to me. Jaded. Things were different in 2006 when Mother 3 first came out, but it's hard not to read that today as some extension of the tired complaints around having too many devices and too much convenience. Like that meme that simply blames all of society's problems on having a phone. And it's a well Mother 3 goes back to over and over and over again: that Fassad brings the corruption of money, the corruption of technology, and the corruption of modern civilization, turning the residents of Tazmily into rude, vapid, ignorant zombies who have grown complacent with the increasingly bad things happening around them. 

And that's not the only thing in the game that can be read as cynical, either. More than once Mother 3 presents us with scenarios where Lucas faces down adult responsibilities and uses this as a way to express something depressing or frustrating as just being the way the world works. Such as early on when Lucas has to enter a factory as a new employee, and we're told about the joys of child labor -- including the hard hours you're expected to work for minimal pay.

Or how about when you receive a fast travel vehicle halfway through the game. Not only will it become permanently unusable if you accidentally allow it to run out of fuel (pretty easy, considering there's no visible fuel gauge), but refueling it incorrectly will cause it to explode, also rendering the vehicle useless. After all, you're just a dumb kid, and complex machines like these are meant to be cared for properly. 

Some of this is definitely meant to be more funny than serious or soul crushing, but the whole game has this rough edge to it that wasn't there in the original Earthbound, where Lucas brushes up against some fact of adulthood and it serves as an uncomfortable lesson. I couldn't help but read it as the game imparting something about how much growing up sucks, and how much that's just a part of life. Your parents will die, your neighbors are ignorant, work sucks and you'll probably mess it up anyway. Get over it. 

I even got this impression coming from the game's own upgrade systems. Both Lucas and another party member Kumatora can learn PSI abilities, which are basically the game's magic spells. When Lucas or Kumatora gets strong enough to learn a new PSI ability, they break out in an uncontrollable fever, a status effect that limits your ability to do certain things like sprinting. Until that fever breaks, you have to slowly walk everywhere. 

It doesn't really add anything to the experience. It doesn't make the game more fun, or more exciting. It's just one of those annoying things you have to put up with, because again, that's life, kid. Sometimes you get sick and you just can't move very fast.

The overall vibe of cynicism gets even worse as you start encountering Mother 3's handful of references to Earthbound. Mother 3 may go out of its way to forge a narrative separate from Earthbound, but there are definitely more than a few scenes referencing special moments from that game, and at least to me, all of them felt extremely pandering. It was as if Mother 3 was beating me over the head, jumping up and down shouting, "It's that thing you remember! Do you remember? Remember Earthbound? Look, we can do that thing too!" 

The further you progress in the game, the more these references change from feeling pandering to almost being mocking. It's eventually revealed that the game's true antagonist, and the man giving orders to Fassad, is Porky, the mean little rich kid from Earthbound. Porky has now become a man who seemingly lives in the past, having constructed multiple shrines of mementos from his adventures battling Ness and friends in the previous game. The ultimate version of this is his monument to nostalgia, New Pork City, the final area of Mother 3. 

It's effectively one gigantic theme park patterned after the major locales of Earthbound, all focused around celebrating how great Porky was back then, and how great he apparently still is.

And again, it felt unnecessarily angry. Just like how Fassad conquered and spoiled the idyllic village of Tazmily, Porky had taken ownership over Earthbound nostalgia and made it feel dirty. It felt like Mother 3, a game that went out of its way to be so different from Earthbound, sometimes almost shockingly so, was now spitting directly in my face. Porky, the ultimate obnoxious loser who just won't go away, refuses to let go of Earthbound. And you don't want to be like Porky, do you? 

It started to feel insulting. Several times over the course of playing Mother 3, I was considering quitting the game and never looking back because it seemed to be going out of its way to twist the knife. Was Mother 3 somehow bitter about Earthbound's legacy? 

Again, I had done my absolute best to avoid spoilers. Blocking Mother-related tags on social media was just the first step. In general, when Mother 3 came up in casual conversations I was privy to, I would quietly excuse myself and find somewhere else to be until I was sure they had changed subjects.

There has been a degree of "spoiler culture" discourse in recent years. Some claim it's a marketing tactic. Marvel movies only make you care so much about spoilers because that's how they get butts in seats on opening weekend. I don't know about that -- I've cared about spoilers my entire life, and I know I'm not alone. The pilot episode of the seminal sitcom Seinfeld ends with Jerry trying to avoid spoilers for a Mets baseball game that he recorded. And that was 1989. It's been a valid concern for much longer than any notion of a summer blockbuster movie.

Simply put, surprises are better when they are surprising. That doesn't mean you necessarily have to like surprises, but I think you'd have to be a pretty sad sack to go out of your way to ruin a surprise for someone else. For people who aren't curmudgeons about it, there are few things better in life than a nice surprise. Something unexpected like that could make a person's whole day, if not their whole week.

If modern movie culture has done anything, it's made people unable to keep spoilers to themselves. Blocking social media terms will only get you so far. When an artist posts a piece of fan art or friends share memes and they don't include any text, then there's nothing for the blocking algorithm to detect. And when a conversation starts with spoilers, there's simply no time to avoid the landmine -- which, to be fair, was the final punchline Jerry suffered in the Seinfeld pilot, as his neighbor Kramer blurted out the results of the game before Jerry had a chance to protest.  

Many of Mother 3's biggest mysteries were spoiled well in advance of me ever actually playing the game. The biggest one being the reveal of the mastermind behind the game's Pigmask Army, the aforementioned Porky Minch. Mother 3 goes to great lengths to tease this mystery out across its entire 30 hour run time, dropping major hints as you pass the halfway point. 

And then Porky, in his Mother 3 form, cameos as an early boss battle in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, one of the ten best selling games on the Nintendo Wii. Thanks to director Masahiro Sakurai, more people know who the final boss of Mother 3 is than have actually played Mother 3 (or, let's be honest, will ever play Mother 3). 

This is why I freely mentioned Porky earlier, because if anyone knows anything about Mother 3 at this point, it's that Porky is the primary villain. The same goes for New Pork City, which was a prominent arena in Smash Bros.

In a roundabout way, Smash Bros. was also responsible for the other major Mother 3 spoiler I bore witness to; Mother 3 pixel artwork ended up being used in other Smash Bros. games over the years, including artwork of other characters with secret identities. That hasn't stopped a number of Smash Bros. fans from casually name-dropping the true, unmasked identity of this character online. I may have avoided conversations about Mother 3, but the tendrils of these spoilers extended far beyond its humble borders. Sometimes, you just can't escape it.

This is not me drumming up any sort of "woe is me" sympathy, mind you. But ultimately, it did have an effect on me. In most of Mother 3's cutscenes, I was waiting for the big reveals I knew were coming. Expectation is everything, and when you're watching every cutscene through a microscope, it changes how you see things. There's the old adage about being so focused on one tree that you miss seeing the rest of the forest, but imagine you're so zoomed in you can't even see the one tree, and you're just kind of... stuck there.

I often wondered if my general frustration with Mother 3's aggressive tone was related to the fact I knew some of its biggest late game emotional beats 30 hours in advance. 

Would its numerous Earthbound references still feel so patronizing if I didn't know what was coming? Or would all of its cute little surprises and shocking revelations make for a more enjoyable game over the long term?

Maybe the whole thing started off on the wrong foot in general. It's definitely a choice to play a game about characters processing the death of their mother while you yourself are processing the death of your mother. Characters in the game itself get bitter about this, so doesn't it make sense that I would be, too? Again, expectation is everything, and sometimes you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed. It could have just been a bad time in my life to experience this story.

And to some degree that's true, because the thing about Mother 3 is that I just didn't get it for the longest time.

Despite a big rant about spoiler culture just now, I can't talk about this without spoiling Mother 3's last big secret, because it turns out to be central to the game's entire theme. However, in my defense, I am giving you a big warning: If you've somehow read this far and still care about preserving the game's final mystery (and parts of the ending to Earthbound, too), this is your signal to turn back now. 

Okay. Ready?

So while the people of Tazmily are comfortable and protective of their newly developed suburban lifestyle, past the game's halfway point they all start talking about a far off land: the big city. It's a place where dreams are made, or so they're told. And as Mother 3 starts down its home stretch, Lucas and friends return to find Tazmily deserted. Everyone who's anyone has left for New Pork City. 

The reality of New Pork City is a lot more depressing than the dream, but then it always would be. The residents of Tazmily find it more trashy than cool. A lot of the theme park rides are broken, and those that still function are kind of dangerous. There's even open sewer vents leaking noxious gasses. And at the center of it all stands the massive Empire Porky Building.

Lucas and his friends are only allowed into the building when the time is right. Until then, you have to wander around New Pork City and explore. 

Those open vents turn out to be an invitation to enter the sewer when Lucas's dog, Boney, becomes lost. Reuniting with Boney leads you to discover a secret entrance to the less glamorous parts of New Pork City, and you find yourself in an old, run down apartment complex. Though the hall is strewn with trash and grime, at the very end you find an apartment belonging to a strange man named Leder. 

You initially meet Leder very early in the game. He's an older resident of Tazmily known for being unnaturally tall -- well over four times taller than most characters in the game. And to most people living in Tazmily, Leder is known to never speak. His only job is acting as a human watch tower, armed with a bell to be rung when there is danger. 

Leder's apartment in New Pork City is reasonably sized for a single person, with two floors, but for a man of his stature, Leder makes the space look tiny. However, by climbing up to the second floor, Lucas can now finally talk to Leder face to face for the first time. As it turns out, Leder can talk, but by being so tall, most people couldn't hear him. Not that it mattered much, given Leder had taken a vow of silence in order to protect the true origin of Tazmily Village. Given the circumstances, and considering Lucas is old enough now, Leder believes it is finally time to learn the truth.

The truth being that despite Mother 3's outward appearance of taking place in a fantasy land full of dragons and chimera, it is in fact a distant future earth. Or, well... what's left of it. 

According to Leder's retelling, after bracing itself for the apocalypse, humanity finally found itself at the end of the world as we know it. Facing mutually assured extinction, a select group of individuals boarded something known as "The White Ship" and traveled to the furthest, most secretive location on earth in order to escape destruction. Once they arrived at this mysterious island, those people used a device to erase the memories of their past lives. 

The idea was to start over from scratch, free from the bonds that lead to the destruction of the old world. And so, the simple farming village of Tazmily was born. It is very likely that Lucas is one of the first generation of people born and raised in Tazmily.

For years, Leder not only kept watch over Tazmily Village, but over its people, as well. Entrusted as one of the only people who knew the truth.

Tazmily Village was a success. Its people lived in peace and prosperity, free from greed and power. However, one day, a man named Porky appeared. Porky was not from this world -- not from the old world, and not a part of this new one, either. Using the Phase Distortion machine from the end of Earthbound, Porky had been carving a swath of chaos through all of time and space. Having been defeated and ejected from pretty much every other reality, Porky eventually found himself here: the last, most defenseless place on the timeline. 

With nobody around to tell him no, Porky set about treating the island like his own personal playground. He used the Phase Distortion Machine to pull in creatures from alternate dimensions, he used forbidden science to establish an army and build factories. And, once Porky became aware of Tazmily and the truth of "The White Ship", he made it one of his goals to restore their memories and further exploit their desires.

Leder's story recontextualizes all of Mother 3. It's not a game about people being corrupted by modern society; instead, it's a game about people being unable to escape it. That, despite their best efforts to run away from it, forget about it, and start over, who they are still catches up to them. When the residents of Tazmily brand Lucas as a traitor, they aren't doing it drunk on their shiny new toys, it's more that their old habits are re-asserting themselves. Not a people being corrupted, but a people who simply had their existing nature freed. Human beings acting like human beings.

This recontextualizes Porky's role in the story, too. More than being the harbinger of nostalgia, Porky takes advantage of Tazmily's amnesia to rewrite history to his benefit. His shrines to Earthbound memorabilia are less about making us remember what happened in the previous game and more about establishing his version of events, where he can refer to Ness, Paula, Jeff and Poo as his "precious friends" instead of what they actually were: the band of kids that stopped him from bringing about the eradication of the known universe. 

Instead of shunning the past, Mother 3 is telling us that not only is running away from our history impossible, but in trying to do so, we open ourselves up to an even worse and easily exploitable weakness where guys like Porky get to catalyze their twisted version of history. Only by moving forward, unafraid, with courage and the full knowledge of where we came from, can we create a truly better world. We cannot bury who we used to be; we must accept and grow beyond it. 

There is no stronger denouement to this ideal than the game's very, very end. 

All throughout the game, Lucas has dealt with two of Porky's highest ranking officers. The first one being Fassad, who brings commerce and greed to the people of Tazmily. The other one, someone I haven't really mentioned until now, is only known as "The Masked Man." Mother 3 pits The Masked Man against Lucas as sort of a rival -- he's one of the small handful of humans you meet able to use PSI abilities, and most of them are identical to what Lucas can do.

In the lead up to actually meeting Porky in the flesh for the first time, Lucas finally catches up with his dad, Flint. Lucas hasn't seen his father in years, not since the incident after their mother's funeral that broke up their family. And yet Mother 3 treats his reappearance as strangely casual. There's no big, emotional reunion. Flint and Lucas barely even acknowledge it. Flint is just here now, another NPC milling about with the residents of Tazmily.

On the way to the final showdown, Flint will suddenly ask you to stay behind. He plans to face Porky alone. 

And this is probably supposed to raise all kinds of strange questions. Could Flint be the Masked Man? After all, if Lucas has PSI abilities, maybe that's a trait that runs in the family. Maybe he inherited it from Flint, and that's why The Masked Man has all the same abilities. 

But just one or two rooms later, you find Flint completely laid out. He faced Porky and The Masked Man and came away defeated. It now falls on Lucas and his friends to stop them. Before Lucas leaves, Flint offers one more piece of information for us: The Masked Man, the rival Lucas has faced almost the entire game, is actually his twin brother, Claus. 

Once Porky is successfully dealt with, the final battle of Mother 3 comes down to brother versus brother. Claus, the boy who ran from his tragedy, and Lucas, the hero, the boy who became a stronger person by overcoming that tragedy.

That's it. That's everything Mother 3 is trying to say. It doesn't get much clearer than that.

Watching the credits roll, I couldn't help but think back to earlier in the game. There I was, having just arrived in New Pork City, and I was talking to my friends about how it had taken me close to three years to finish Mother 3. I'd only play the game in fits and starts because I didn't really like it, but I was forcing myself through it anyway. 

One friend told me, "If you haven't enjoyed the first 25 hours, then it's not like the last five or ten is going to change your mind." 

It really cannot be understated how talking to Leder completely rewrote my entire perspective on this game. But then you also have to wonder: how many more people were in the same boat I was and didn't keep going? People who got fed up with feeling like the game was bitter and patronizing and just gave up? 

I knew there must have been something special in this game. You have to figure that, given the circumstances (sequel to a 10+ year old RPG, only released in Japan), total lifetime sales figures for Mother 3 are probably under five million copies. Probably under two million, if I'm being honest. That's still in the realm of success, especially for 2006, but Nintendo is also a company that deals in games with 20 million, 40 million, even 60 and 80 million plus sales. Mother 3 is some very small potatoes for them. 

Despite such a comparatively modest success, Mother 3's influence feels hard to ignore. From fueling skits on Robot Chicken to Adventure Time and Undertale's whole... everything, Mother 3 (and the wider franchise as a whole) is extremely beloved by many, even if it doesn't do record breaking sales numbers. 

And that's before you figure in the whole fan translation angle, too. Everything about Mother 3 screams something that should be niche, and yet it's downright prolific.

It demanded more respect than giving up before seeing the credits roll. If I had quit upon reaching New Pork City, I would have missed this game's whole redemption arc. 

I suppose, then, that just makes this the chronicle of a long, difficult, emotional journey. One I originally felt like I needed to do more than I actually wanted to. That in itself is just another one of those many things adults just have to deal with, right? That's in keeping with the themes of the game.

And, ultimately, there is light at the end of this tunnel. I guess it's not really about charging forward with courage, it's more that as long as you hold on to yourself, everything will be okay. Everyone has their tragedies. But closing yourself off from tragedy or running away from it isn't going to fix you. Your love is what will save you. 

The love you share with family. The love you share with friends. The love you share with the world. 

Love meant Flint never gave up trying to save Claus, even as that same boy tried to kill him. 

Love led Kumatora, Duster and Boney to stay with Lucas no matter how strange or frightening things became. Together, they faced deadly mutants, the darkest hallucinations, and even had to contend with the possibility that all human life on their planet might cease to exist.

Love was Lucas never abandoning the people of Tazmily, even as they shunned him. 

Love will provide you with a strength beyond anything else in this universe. No matter how much adult life beats you down, love will always be the single greatest and most simple thing we all have. Rich or poor, old or young, love is the power that binds us all. It deserves to be cultivated, protected, and celebrated. Love heals all. Without it, we cease to be human. And believing in love is what takes the most courage.

But only through love can we find the way forward.

[sweet-villain]

Cutting Too Deep~ E.M

Word : 6.5k

Angst

Anonymous asked:

I LOVE the way you write, not ironically for me you are one of the best fanfic writers on tumblr. can i order an eddie x reader? like, you've known Eddie since middle school, and since then you've been in love with him, but you didn't know if what you felt for him was reciprocated, until one day he asked you out, like, a date, everything is doing well, maybe more than friends will come, but until the day you find out he was hooking up with someone from the first date, I need angst and I know you're great at it! ❤️

@babyloutattoo89 @palomam18 @becca-alexa @sadbitchfangirl @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @djkeruigbbygirl @haileighboi @bookshelf-dust @moonchildquinn @strangerfreak

You never imagined in your life what’s like to fall in love, to like someone, to spend quality time with someone and for someone to mean something to you. Not until him. You first notice him when he sat across the table doodling away in his notebook, not paying attention to anything around him. His eyebrow narrowed while the tip of his tongue peeked out as he focused on what he was doing. It was like at sudden when his pencil snapped in half causing him to frown as he gazed at it. 

He picked up his head to look around the room for a pencil sharpener or something to help him. In his hoping success he had found nothing, and to ask someone was out of the question. He didn’t make any friends in his grade and when he turned around to pout about his broken pencil, he was surprised to have you looking at him already. 

Your eyes dropped to the broken pencil laying there on his desk and it rolled to the ground. He didn’t care on picking up anymore, it was trash now. He watch you dug into your backpack with the tip of your tongue peeking out and eyebrows narrowed mirroring the same expression he had moments ago and then with success, you took out a pencil with your eyes brightening up in happiness. 

“ Here” you offered to him. You reached across the table in hopes that it would make you happy that someone in this class took the time to help him out. His eyes dropped towards the pencil in your hands then at you to see if you’d pull away, laugh at him like the others would. But there you were sitting there in your seat, blinking until he reached with his hand out and took the pencil from your hands. 

“ Thanks” he muttered underneath his breath but you made out the words he spoke to you. With a small smile, you returned to what you were doing and he could not stop glancing over at you like you were something out of a book he read. It felt like something magical haas happened to him. 

He waited till class was over, to gather his books and waited for you by the door for you. You kept your eyes on the floor rather than looking ahead to see where you were going and buying into him. 

“ Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you there” you lift your head to meet his eyes staring at you. A smile appeared on his face and you couldn’t help but smile back at him. 

“ My name is Eddie, here is your pencil” he says handing it back to you but you push it back to his chest, shaking your head.

“ Keep it, my name is Y/N” 

Since then you and Eddie became the best of friends, eventually you met his Uncle who was surprised at your bright personality and a smile appeared on his face when Eddie introduced you. 

He told his Uncle how nice you were and how you’d look after him, even when the bullies tried to rip the backpack out of his hand. He continued to explain to his uncle how you got detention for landed a punch on the bullies face while Eddie stood there shocked. No one in his life defended him and here you were. 

It wasn’t until high school that you had no idea what you were feeling when you looked at your best friend. Your heart raced, your hands became sweaty, your stomach tied in knots and you enjoyed his company more than anyone’s. He was always making you smile and his dramatics was one of your favorites parts about him. 

His hair grew out in a mane of curls, his big brown doe eyes were so pretty to look at, he started to smoke and selling weed, which he gave you a discount on but he rarely did. He usually gave it to you because you were his best friend and the one person, besides his Uncle that he trusted. 

He wore rings on his fingers and started to play guitar, he was in a band with your other friends Gareth, Jeff and the other one that you keep forgetting his name because he keeps changing how he wants to be called by. 

He wore a jacket combined with a vest with a big Dio patch in the back and his belt buckle was a pair of handcuffs. Not something you’d choose for a belt buckle but this was Eddie. It fits him. 

He was such a sweetheart, always giving you rides wherever you needed to go even though you had your own working car, he was always cracking jokes to make you smile and laugh, he was alway sharing his ideas with you for a new campaign he was writing or sharing lyrics to the songs he was coming up with. 

But you don’t know what the feeling was whenever you were around him, you never had a boyfriend and you always heard about the people Eddie has been hooking up with. A feeling overcomes you when he talks to you about the girls he’s been with, it’s not a very good feeling. There is something burning inside of you and you want it to go away, you feel your heart ripping into pieces and you can’t help but have your eyes glass over. 

You were hurting inside. Why? The answer never comes to you. 

Eddie never imagined in his life that he would feel something let alone for his best friend, there was never someone in his life that he hooked up with or liked that returned his feelings. But something in him changed when he watched you pout when you weren’t having your way and it was the cutest thing he has ever seen. 

He can’t help it when you make him his favorite cookies or cook him a home cook meal, leaving some for his uncle too. His heart speeds up and his stomach turns into knots overcoming with this feeling. He enjoys being around you and making you laugh, it brings him happiness and when he looks at you know, it’s much different than before. He looks at you like he could give you the world and he wants to protect you from anything that could harm you. 

“ You like her” Dustin tells him one day out of the blue. Eddie snaps his head towards him, shaking his head like Dustin was talking crazy talk. 

“ No I don’t” Eddie says. “ There is no way that happened” Dustin gives him a look. 

“ Look, I know when you do. You become soft around her, you want to do the things she wants to do, you listen to her and pay attention and sometimes when one of us is talking, you are too busy thinking about her.” 

“ No I’m not” Eddie says, his cheeks become red. “ I don’t know what your talking about” 

Dustin rolls his eyes and follow Eddie to the drama room. 

“ She most likely feels the same way about you” 

“ How many times do I have to tell you, Henderson? I don’t like her” Eddie stopped walking turning to face Dustin to look at him and wave with his hand. 

“ Sure you don’t” Eddie groaned throwing his head back while he opened the doors where everyone else was already there. 

“ You’re late” Jeff says. Eddie snaps his head towards him. 

“ I’m going to say kindly as I can, don’t piss me off or I’ll kick you out of Hellfire” he sat in his throne, putting his elbows on his knees and his hands together as he looks around the table. 

“ Do I make myself clear?” He asked when no one replied to his other statement. 

“ Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?” Mike questioned him. The room got silent seeing the gears turning inside Eddie’s eyes as he leaned back in his throne. 

“ You’re skipping next campaign we have, Wheeler” 

“ Oh come on!” Mike threw his hands up, and put his arms across his chest as he glared at Eddie. 

“ I told you Wheeler, you piss me off and there will be consequences” 

“ You should of just shut up” Dustin whispered to him which Eddie clearly didn’t like. 

“ Henderson, I suggest you stop talking over there in hush whispers before I cancel this campaign” Dustin’s eyes grew wide as he quickly turned around his chair. 

Eddie wasn’t in such a good mood after Hellfire, all because he got into his head. Dustin did about you liking him, more in a friendly way. He parked the van in front of his trailer and leaned his back into the seat, sighing to himself. A knock on his window startled him as he jumped staring wide at the window seeing it was you.

You held a hand over your mouth watching him jump. He stepped out of the car, playfully glaring at you. 

“ Jesus Christ, you almost gave me a heart attack” 

“ Almost” you joked but he looked like he wasn’t even in the mood for jokes tonight and your smiled dropped when you saw he wasn’t laughing with you like he normally is. 

“ What’s wrong, Eds?” You nudged his side. “ Did Hellfire go okay?” Something about you asking how his campaign went sent his heart racing. He ran a hand down his face getting into his head again and what Dustin has told him. 

“ Eddie?” Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion to why he was acting like this at the moment. You had never seen him this quiet. 

“ Can we reschedule, sweetheart? I’m not up it and I don’t think I’m feeling to good” you frowned bringing up your hand to check if he had temperature but he was okay. 

“ What hurts?” You asked. Inside Eddie was melting on how much you cared about him and he couldn’t even meet your eye at the moment as he continued to stand there. 

“ Do you want me to make you something? I’m happy to take care of you. We don’t have to watch a movie.” 

Eddie cursed at himself in his head, continuing to melt at your words. You cared so much so maybe Dustin was right. You did like him. No one looked after him or cared this much for him. He’s not used to this. 

“ I think I’ll go to bed, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow” He reaches over to kiss you on your cheek and slips past you making his way to the trailer. 

“ Okay, feel better!” He hears you shout. He acknowledges he hears you by throwing you a thumbs up. You sigh to yourself feeling like you did something wrong to make him upset. He opens the door of the trailer and leans with his back to it once he’s inside, closing his eyes. 

“ Fuck” he mumbles to himself knowing he likes you and these feelings weren’t about to go away. 

You hadn’t talked much to Eddie the following day, he made some excuse up that he couldn’t drive you saying Wayne needed help. But Wayne usually went grocery shopping, wanting to get there early for the warm bread like he usually does. You know Eddie is lying to you which is hurtful seeing how he tells you everything and he’s your best friend.

You see him in your class sitting at the different part of the classroom next to a girl in a cheerleading uniform. She’s twirling her hair at the end of her pony tail and listening to him while he explained his drawings to her. She looks like she’s interested you think to yourself but you weren’t too sure as she popped her gum too. The chewing was the most annoying part you have ever heard. 

Your nose scrunched up as you take your seat. Jason who was sitting in front of you had turned around motion to Eddie.

“ The freak met a new friend, hurts doesn’t it nerd?’ He says with a snicker. You stuck out your middle finger to him and got out your books while your eyes bore into the side of Eddie’s head. 

He knew you were watching him and paid no mind to it because he was shocked in the first time that a cheerleader like Stephanie was paying attention to him. It was like a whole new week came and something has changed.

“ You’re so cute and so funny” Stephanie says, a small giggles coming from her while he puts her manicured hand on his arm. He glances down at it with an unsure chuckle. A beat of sweat appears under his bangs as he swallows. 

“ Uh, thank you” Eddie replies, licking his lips trying to get them to not feel so dry. He’s nervous about it but then catches your eyes when he looks around the room seeing the hurtful look on your face. You quickly glance down at your notebook scribbling down the assignment you needed to work on. 

“ Looks like Stephanie might want a piece of the freak” Jason mumbles, his head turned speaking to you over his shoulder. You breathe deeply through your nose and your jaw clenches in anger. It was like Jason was trying to prove a point that you liked Eddie or something. 

“ Your going to rip the paper, nerd” Jason pointed out glancing down at your paper. You stopped digging the pen into the paper and indeed you were digging hard enough that the ink from the pen was looking blotchy. 

You rose your hand up in the air and the teacher stopped reading her text to look up seeing your hand raised. 

“ Yes, Miss Y/N?” She asked. 

“ Can I go to the nurse please? I feel really light headed”Eddie stopped talking to Stephanie and his eyes turned to glance at you with concern. His eyes roam your face and drops down to your notebook seeing deep drawings of circles that you usually don’t do. Was something wrong? 

He watches you as you stood and head out the door after the teacher lets you go to the nurses office but you head for the bathroom instead, trying to not to cry. You sniffled as the door opens but you are met face to face with a familiar face. 

“ Y/N?” She asks, concern in her tone while she takes a hold of your shoulders and leans down to catch your eye. It’s Robin. 

“ Hey Robin” you wiped your nose with the back of your hand like it was the best thing to do right now and you didn’t really want her to see you cry. But she was.

“ What’s wrong?” She asked pulling you into the bathroom and the both of you sit on the floor with your back to the wall. You bring your knees to your chest while Robin sits with while you try to calm down. You had no idea how long you have been sitting there but you turned your head to meet her gaze. She was still sitting there not caring if she needs to go back to class. 

“ I feel stupid” you start to tell her. She nods urging you to continue as she turns her full body to listen. The door opens and someone walks in but Robin is quick to glare at them. 

“ Piss off!” She shouts, scaring them as they scramble out the door. 

“ Why do you feel like that?” 

“ Because I really thought someone as my best friend would notice me, would think otherwise of me, would see what I see in him.” 

“ And what do you see in him?” She asked. 

“ He’s the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life” you answer her with tears rolling down your cheeks, “ But he’s too busy paying attention to Stephanie Peters to know she’s not good for him. She’s only going to throw him away.” 

What you didn’t know was that Eddie followed you out of the classroom making some excuse that his bladder was too much and he wanted to find where you really went. He heard voices by the girls bathroom and hide against the wall to be unseen. 

“ I think you like him” Robin says to you. Your eyes grew wide and you shook your head.

“ There is no way that I do, he’s my best friend” she nods and throws you a thin smile.

“ You can’t help how you feel, even about your best friend. He might be clueless as they come, all boys are” she shrugged.  

Eddie’s eyes grow wide at your next words, “ I might love him.” 

Robin gives you a glance like if they were the right words that just came out of your mouth and when you don’t say anything else. Then, she knows it must be true. 

“ He’s missing out on you, I know how much of an amazing person you are” 

“ Thank you” you smiled over to her. You were so glad she was there for when you needed someone and you walked right in time in the bathroom. 

“ But we were talking about, Eddie. Right?” 

“ Yes” you nod and she helps you get off the floor. “ What are you going to do?”

“ I think I’m just going to go home. My stomach can’t handle seeing those two together, I mean, Stephanie Peters? Out of all people, Stephanie is the one clawing her way to him.” 

“ I heard her pony tail isn’t even real” Robins says walking out with you, with one arm around your shoulder. 

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek and a smile appears on his face. You love him. He waits till your out of sight with Robin before he pulls away from the wall and jumps in the air, happy for himself. But his eyes grow wide remembering he forgot his stuff in class and hurries to get them before the bell rings and he has to race to his other class. 

Later that night when your reading a book in bed, there is a knock on your window. At first you ignore it seeing if the person was going to go away. They didn’t and continued to knock. You sighed laying the book opened on the bed and looking over the window locking eyes with your best friend who waves. 

“ Go home” you shout to him. Eddie’s face drops and he shakes his head hearing what you told him. “ Let me in, I might freeze” you take notice that he’s not wearing a jacket. He’s only in a shirt that he wore during school earlier. You stood up from the bed making your way to the window and unlatching it, opening it to let him inside. He stepped inside, closing the window when he was in your room and turned to face you.

“ What happened earlier in school? Did Carver say something to you?” You collared on your bed and took the book that you were reading, starting to read again. Eddie frowned when you didn’t talk to him or paid any mind to him. 

“ Come on Y/N” he says sitting next to you on the bed with his legs outstretched out. 

“ Don’t get any dirt on my bed” you tell him motioning to his shoes that he didn’t take off. He slips them off and letting them one by one, drop on the ground.

“ What did I do, sweetheart?” He asked. 

“ Why don’t you go bother Stephanie Peters, I’m sure she’s more fascinating” you muttered flipping the page of your book. A smirk appears on Eddie’s face as he bumps shoulders with your own sending you on your bed.

You sent him a glare, noticing the smirk and adjusting sitting back the way you were sitting. 

“ Are you jealous, sweetheart?” He leaned his face closer that you can feel his breath against your cheek. 

“ Jealous of what?” You tried to pay attention to the word on the book but it was no use because of how close he was to you. 

“ You’re jealous that Stephanie had my attention today” He answered you. His hand falling on top of your knee. 

“ I could care less which next girl you decide to shag” he raises his eyebrow with a small chuckle. “ Who said anything about that?” 

You swallow the lump in your throat and closed the book. 

“ You should go, it’s getting late” you slide off the bed not wanting to be close to him at the moment but he follows as his face drops hearing the distance in your voice. 

“ Sweetheart” he calls out to you, taking a hold of your hand and turns you around seeing the hurt on your face. “ What did I do?” 

You remained silent watching what he was going to do next. He takes a step forward and closes the space between the two of you placing his forehead on yours and wrapping his arms around your waist, he doesn’t want you to step away from him holding you in place. He doesn’t want you to run away from him. 

“ What can I do to make it better?” He asked. He was running out options and he was scared you were going to push him away. Then if you pushed him away, he would lose you. He can’t lose you. 

“ Nothing is wrong” you lie not wanting to talk about this. His hand reaches up to brush away from your face and put some behind your ear. “ Talk to me” His other hand cups your face, holding you in place. But you don’t like this because he doesn’t like you. He’s only making fun of you and your feelings. Someone must of told him. 

“ Stop” you pulled away from him, tears building up in your eyes. He frowns when you step away from letting his hand fall to his side as he gazes at you with worry. 

“ Please go home, Eddie” your voice is shaken, not wanting to look at him. Eddie was about to say something else to you but you pointe towards the window not wanting to see him right now. 

What you were feeling was just too much and you couldn’t handle this emotion. 

“ You know where to find me” Eddie says as he heads out to your window but he stops as he hears the softness of you crying over him. He wants to go back and hold you but he’s respecting your wishes and leaves. 

The next time you see Eddie is at lunch time, and who’s sitting by him and is crawling Into his lap. It’s not other than Stephanie Peters as she wraps her arms around him. The rest of the table looks uncomfortable and you head there with your head held up high, ignoring the stinging in your heart placing your tray in between Jeff and Gareth. They both turned their heads towards you, greeting you. 

Eddie’s eyes falls on you and waits for you to greet him, but you don’t. It silent in his greeting. Stephanie pops her gum as she leans into her hands while she smiles extending her hand to you like you didn’t know her. 

“ Hi, my name is Stephanie but you can call me Steph or S” she says. 

“ I know who you are, we have three classes together” you answer her, not even bothering to shake her hand not knowing where her hand has been. She nods, with a small frown snapping her fingers like she remembers who you are now.

“ That’s right, you’re Y/N” she says. 

“ That would be me” Eddie’s eyes pleaded for you to talk to him but you don’t even look at him. It felt like things were changing and Eddie wanted nothing more than you to talk to him. He canceled Hellfire that night and headed his way to your house knowing you were home since you probably were studying or doing homework. 

He decided not to go through your window this time but ring the doorbell. The door opened to reveal your mom standing on the other side. 

“ Oh Eddie, what a pleasure surprise” she greets him. 

“ Hi Mrs Y/L/N” he greets her, “ how are you doing?” 

“ I’m doing great, I’m sure your not here to talk to me. Y/N is upstairs studying, why don’t you head on up.” 

“ Thank you” he steps inside the door taking off his shoes knowing how your mom is with shoes in the house and sets them besides your own while he heads up the stairs to your room. He finds your door right away already being here a couple of times knowing which room is there. You gave him the tour of the house at one point feeling like he should have it. 

He slowly knocks on your door. 

“ I’m not hungry mom” your voice calls out from the other side. The door opens to reveal that it’s not your mom standing there. It’s Eddie. 

“ What are you doing here?” You questioned him dropping your pencil in between the textbook and closing it. 

“ I wanted to know what’s going on between us” he says making his way into your room, closing the door just a bit. Your eyebrow scrunch together like you have no idea what’s he’s talking about. 

“ I thought we were friends, best friends. What is happening?” You shrugged wanting to go back to your text book and he sees your fingers going for it. Instead, he takes the text book out of your grasp and sits it besides him on the bed. 

“ You’ve been distant and I don’t like it” he says. 

“ I haven’t” you took interest in your nails this time, pretending to look at them and notice something you didn’t like as you played around with your fingers. It’s something you did when you didn’t want to talk to the person. 

“ You have, and I just want my best friend back” he says. His voice hold worry in it close to tears as he was holding them back. 

“ You have a new best friend, why don’t you hang out with them?” 

“ Who?” He asked, his eyebrows scrunched up together in confusion. He stood up from the bed getting a bit frustrated. He was done with having to play this game with you. All he wants is to have you back in his life and hold you in his arms. 

“ I don’t know what your implying Y/N, but my best friend is you” 

“ Stephanie Peters” Eddie throws his hands up in the air, gritting his teeth. He felt like ripping his own hair out when you mention her. 

“ What about her?” Eddie asks. 

“ Oh Eddie… you’re so cute and funny” you were imitating Stephanie with a high pitch voice which sounded close to her, Eddie couldn’t help but chuckle but then you continued and he frowned. His eyes roamed your face seeing the annoyance in your eyes and the jealous flare there. 

“ Jesus Christ” he shouted interrupting your imitation of Stephanie as he stomped over at you, cupping your face with both his hands and your eyes widen at his sudden closeness.

“ What are you doing?” 

“ You don’t need to worry about her” he says as he leans down and somehow he got the courage to kiss you right there. You weren’t expecting it at all to have your best friend and the person that made you feel comfort, to kiss you. It feels so right to have him kiss you. The hands gripping on his wrist made Eddie feel at ease when you started to kiss back. 

He was about to pull away and mumble for you to forget about it and leave. But here was still kissing you like his life depended on it. 

But there was something in him that made him feel like he shouldn’t of kissed you. Why? Because right before coming to see you, he was fooling around with Stephanie Peters. It sort happened. 

He pulled away catching his breathe as he gathered himself as his eyes opened to see your cheeks flushed red and eyes widen. Your lips are plump from kissing him. 

“ Should of kissed you sooner if I have known you were a great kisser, sweetheart” you giggled, playfully pushing his chest. But the frown on your face that appeared made Eddie feel unease as he swallowed prepared for what you were going to say next. 

“ What is this Eddie? I mean, we’re best friends and I don’t want to end losing you if something happens.”

He shakes his head, “ Nothing is going to happen and your not going to lose me” his eyes scanned your face and licked his lips. “ Would you want to go on a date with me, sweetheart?” 

Your mouth was a jar not expecting him to ask you out. You thought this was just one time thing to him but it looks like it’s not. Your heart swelled up watching as his brown doe eyes sparkled as he waited. He looked like a puppy, wagging his tail and waited for an answer or a bone. 

“ I would love to go on one” His eyes brightened tackling you on the bed and kissing you all over your face. You couldn’t stop giggling. 

Eddie did end up dating you on a date, but you didn’t know he was a romantic type planning it all out. He took you out to Lover’s lake where he brought you to a spot where he had some help setting up as you saw Dustin run away shouting, “ have a good time!” 

A blanket was laid out with the scent of burgers and fries from Benny’s hits you.

“ It’s not much” Eddie says scratching the side of his face as he looks away, he was afraid that you might not like this as a first date but it was perfect. Like he was. 

“ It’s perfect” his head turns seeing if you were serious and you were. You had the biggest smile on your face. His heart swelled up for a moment, a flash of guilt washes over his face but it’s gone before you question it. 

But, you saw it. 

“ After you m’lady” he bows down with his hand extend as you placed your hand in his. He helped you onto the blanket, and sat next to you with his lunchbox by his side. His hair was tied back today with some loose curls hanging from his face and he wore a Black Sabbath shirt with black pants with holes on his knees, and his Reeboks. 

“ I didn’t know what sauce to get you. I went to just ketchup”he says handed you one burger and one set of fries. Your fingers brushed against his causing you to blush. He got his own out and you waited until he unwrapped his burger to start yours. 

He took the first bite noticing with curious eyes why you hadn’t started to eat.

“ What’s wrong? Did I forget something?” He asked, his cheeks holding food as he waited. 

“ No, I wanted to wait for you to eat” He swallowed his food and poked your nose. 

“ You’re silly girl, you could of ate without me” you shrugged. 

“ I thought it was the polite thing to do” Eddie laughed as he took out the drinks, forgetting they were behind him. “ Forgot these, here” he hands your drink over. Little spills drop onto the blanket. 

“ Oh no” you moved away trying to wipe it off with one of the napkins you found but Eddie stops you with his hand on top of yours.

“ Don’t worry about it, sweetheart” he says sending you a gentle smile and raising your hand up to his lips. “ I will handle it later” he adds. 

You happily began to eat and took small sips of your drink feeling eyes on you. Suddenly you get self conscious of him watching you eat. 

“ Do I have something on my face?” You set your drink down and bring your hand up to wipe something that you thought on your face when he reaches over with thumb to wipe away the corner of your mouth. He brings it towards his mouth, licking off the ketchup he got there. 

Your eyes widen, cheeks going flush. 

“ U-uh thanks” 

He chuckled mumbling how cute you were as he continued to eat. When you were finished, you balled it into a ball and placed it into the bag that had the burgers in. Eddie tied the bag together and put it on the side before he laid down with his back on the blanket. He patted the side next to him for you to lay down. 

You follow before turning to the side to face him as he follows you. The wind blows his strands causing them to fall into his eyes. You reach with your hand to brush them away, gently touching his cheeks too and he closes his eyes. 

His stomach is doing flips at the moment. Because he loves spending time with you and this was special. The other, is that he’s dreading you to find out about Stephanie when he lied to you telling you there isn’t anything between them.

“ You know, I never imagined us going on a date. Let alone like this” he moved closer that you feel his breath on your face. 

“ Why is that?” He asked. 

“ You’re beautiful, Eddie and I didn’t think I was the girl you’d want to be with one day” 

It took him a moment to answer, first hearing you call him beautiful was very rare to him. His cheeks were flushed red as he bite down on his bottom lip and then his eyebrows knitted together. 

“ What? Have you seen you? I mean, you’re gorgeous, sweetheart. I could kiss you all day if I could” 

“ Why don’t you?” He brought himself a bit on his elbow as he hovered above you and you turned that you were on your back. He brushed the strands away from your face, gazing down at you with his brown doe eyes. He sighed happily and leaned down, his lips brushing against your own before they danced together as one. 

Your stomach tied in knots as you kissed him, placing your hands on his cheeks feeling his cheeks still hot from blushing at your comment. You were really happy he asked you out and kissed you yesterday. 

But you felt like something felt a little different. Like something that you wouldn’t like. 

It wasn’t until the following week were you understood what the feeling was. You stared mouth wide opened, hiding behind the bleachers was Eddie with his hands on a girl’s waist as he tugged her closer, his lips were dancing with her own. Her hair was what caught your eye sight. You knew that hair and the way she styled it every other week.

Blood began to boil at the sight of two. You felt betrayed and hurt. Eddie pulled away from Stephanie to catch his breath, not nothing that you were watching them. 

“ I don’t know if we should continue this” Eddie says. 

“ Oh don’t be boring” she lowered the zipper of her hoodie showing off her tits to him that popped out. He gasped and his hands went to grab them and she stopped him.

“ If you want them, and this then I suggest you quiet and put your mouth to work” she says. “ On your knees” his eyes widen. 

You were sick to your stomach by now and the crunch underneath your feet altered them that someone was there.

“ Who’s there?” Stephanie asked as she zipped up her hoodie looking around to spot who possibly is watching. Eddie stands up as he notices the foot that sticking out from the hiding spot and his heart crashes into his stomach. His breath hitches as he gulps.

You knew. 

You turned around as you hurried away from the scene with tears building up in your eyes. How could he? After everything, the date, the kiss, the kisses shared between the two of you, the “ there is nothing between us and you thought you could trust him. 

He disgusted you. 

You wiped the tears away from your eyes running past Jason and his basketball goons.

“ Woah, what’s the rush there?” Jason shouted. They laughed saying something while your feet carried you into the school and past Robin who ran after you to the front doors of the school where you held your hands on your knees, tears running down your cheeks and trying to catch your breathe. 

“ Y/N?” Another voice shouted and you knew it was him. Robin glared over at him sensing he had something to do with your running and tears in your eyes.

“ What did you do, Munson?” She pointed a finger in his face and clenched her jaw. She was ready to sock him in the face if it was needed. 

He pushed past her to reach out to touch you when you angrily pulled away. 

“ How long?” You asked. “ How long have you been doing her and trying to get with me?” 

Eddie was in loss at words as he rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t know how to answer the question without hurting you than he already was. 

“ How long?! How long did you plan to keep this up without me finding out?” 

“ Since the first date” he answered, “ I didn’t meant to hurt you. It just happened” he says with a shrug. That little shrug he did notified you that he didn’t really care about you or your feelings. 

“ I hate you” you spatted. His eyes got wide as he shook his head. His own eyes building with tears. 

“ I’m so sorry” he says, “ I never meant to hurt you, sweetheart.”

“ Don’t call me that, don’t you dare” he stepped back hearing your tone get louder. “ What can I do to fix this?” 

Tears ran like waterfalls down his cheeks. 

“ You can’t fix this, we were nothing. I was so stupid to even like you. Maybe I should get with Jason and see how you like it.” 

His eyes harden hearing the mention of his bully. 

“ Is that the game you wanna play now?” He asks. 

“ You’ve been playing it, and guess what? You won. You won the right for me to hate you, Munson.” 

“ You don’t mean that” 

“ Oh I do, go back to Stephanie. I hope she was worth breaking my heart over it” Robin steps in as she says she called Steve to come pick you up. You had taken your bike home, she was going to come with you to make sure your okay. 

Eddie wanted to fix this but he stood there watching you walk to the other side of the parking lot where Steve Harrington’s BMW was pulling up and you got into the back seat. Steve rode around and flipped Eddie once the window was down as Robin informed him what he had done. 

“ Yeah, you too!” Eddie shouted flipping off Harrington’s car as he drove away. 

[galaxycunt]

He’s My Thing

Posting this on tumblr as well as I seen people do it and I wanna know what is better here or AO3 for folks?

Part 2

Enjoy!

You first met him in a bar, not caring who he was at first. He didn’t have a high bounty at the time, the annoying clown cracking jokes and jabs at any pretty face before he landed on you. You threw in a jab about his nose, thinking it was fake. That was the first scar he gave you, a broken glass slicing your cheek. You broke a few fingers, and got you both kicked out.

”Fuck you bitch!”

”Bite my ass!”

Pretty soon, Buggy made a real name for himself. So did you. The next time you met, you heard of a terrifying circus act in a town raider by pirates. Who else would it fucking be? You pretended to be a victim, picking the lock on your shackles while he monologued. The circus wasn’t all that spectacular, you wondered why he ever bothered with it at all.

Slipping through the crowd, you followed Buggy to his green room. Before he could react, you sliced his throat. Expecting blood, you hear a laugh instead.

”You-“

Recognition flashed in his eyes, “the bitch from that bar. Come back to finish the job?”

You sliced the arm he held around you, popping back into place like nothing happened.

”Is that? Y-You ate-,” you stuttered.

”Surprised?”

You didn’t think those even existed, your mind racing for your next move. It was made for you, Buggy stabbing your stomach. You been stabbed before, fighting through the shock. You stab him back, punching his nose for good measure. He let you go in pain, long enough to escape.

His arm flew to your throat, slamming you to the ground. You weren’t about to be killed by a fucking clown. Biting down on his arm, he loosened his grip enough for you to kick it away.

You never ran so fast in your life, figuring it was way too easy the way you dodged body parts. He was toying with you. You ran to the docks, jumping into the ocean. He didn’t follow you there, the stories were right. He couldn’t swim. You swam under the dock, floating as you heard him swear and stomp.

The salt stung, your ribs hurt. He was going to pay for that. He wasn’t going to be the one laughing anymore.

You hid again, months later. Another show, another town demolished. It made you sick, the more you did this job, the more you hated pirates. The more you hated him.

Buggy stood in the spotlight, in another life he’d be handsome. Sparkling eyes scanning the crowd for a victim. You locked eyes, the creased greasepaint spreading on his face with a smile.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! The incorrigible pirate hunter is with us yet again! Come on down, sweetheart.”

You smiled at him, “you can’t get rid of me that easy honey.”

He draped his arm around you, like you were both old friends. You’d believe it if he treated his friends like this anyway. With a flourish, he gestured to your act.

”Since you love knives so much, I figure this one is right up your alley.”

”I’m gonna make you eat that big, red nose of yours, clown.”

He laughed, and the adrenaline caused you to also. You couldn’t deny the rush chasing these pirates down gave you, Buggy was like a cat playing with a mouse. You just needed him to stick his hand in the wrong trap.

”I have to say, that scar highlights your face beautifully.”

“You ever find that pinky? Or is it still at the bottom of the ocean?”

He smiled turning to his audience, “now folks, this lovely assistant of mine has no fear of silly little knives so…it’s time to up the ante.”

Meat cleavers, how cliche. You willingly let yourself get tied up to the wheel, Buggy studying your face. Now he was the one thinking this was all too easy. You closed your eyes as the wheel spun, standing still as the blades hit the wood with a loud thunk.

”What you playing at? Huh?”

”Maybe I just like the show so much, I always loved the circus.”

He laughed, “of course you do. Is that all though?”

”Maybe I have something you want.”

”Go on.”

A knife landed near your head, you opened your eyes to face the pirate. He had one more left, he could aim it anywhere. You still liked your odds.

”The map your been looking for. A log pose too.”

The look on his face was worth it, he stumbled his throw causing him to hit your leg. You grit your teeth, a smile on your face. Buggy shouted for his crew to take you back to the ship. You never been on his before, circus themed of course. The crew’s doctor worked quickly, with frown letting you know the knife cut to the bone.

When you woke up in his cabin, your leg was gone. Of course it was. Buggy seemed to take and take and you got nothing in return. You considered your options carefully, wondering how you can kill the bastard once and for all. At the very least you could take his head and ask the marines to let you toss it into the ocean. Either scenario worked for you.

”Where’s my map?”

”You took my leg, Bugs. Let’s call it even.”

He gazed at your leg, a frown on his face.

“Sorry about that. I really am.”

You both knew it was a lie, but you felt weak. You needed to stay on his good side, at least for now.

”You’re the only devil fruit user I know, I knew what I was getting into.”

Saving the best for last right?

”You couldn’t let me go, I suppose your type never does.”

”Says the guy chasing after a fairy tale.”

He sat down on the bed, “oh it’s real alright. So about my map…”

”Buggy, let me rest. At least get a girl a drink first. Don’t glass me this time neither.”

He sighed, getting up to find a bottle of rum that he usually kept around. He toasted you before taking a swig, the both of you taking turns drinking.

“So why offer this to me anyway, hm?”

You smirk, “you know what they say, if you can’t beat them, join them.”

”Is that right?”

”Oh yeah, I seen your act plenty of times to know it needs work. I can make you shine, baby.”

He laughed, “tell me why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”

”What’s the matter, don’t like this thing we got going anymore?”

He leaned closer to whisper, “if all you wanted was a ride that’s all you had to say.”

”Think I got it bad for clowns, huh?”

”I think you got it bad for me.”

You had him right where you wanted him. Leaning forward, grabbing his scarf to pull him close.

”I think you gotta earn my forgiveness first, baby,” you said, pushing him away.

“And how can I do that?”

You briefly wondered if he was truly as flustered as he looked. You didn’t think he’d fold this quickly. You needed to test this out.

”Maybe…let me stay here awhile. Rest up. My map is hidden in a safe place. Maybe I can take you there if you play nice.”

You kissed his lips, Buggy stared at you like you were crazy. Before he said a word you held up your hand.

”But, hey. I’m tired, I have a lost limb to scream about now.”

You never told him what exactly were the magic words to make the map appear, the next few days you slept in his bed while you recovered. Buggy forced to sleep in his chair, you didn’t care, quick to motion at the wood leg someone on the crew carved for you.

He tried; buttering you up, training with you to become stronger, flirting endlessly. It was all annoying, you never spent so much time around one person before. You decide to see how far his begging will go, allowing him to share the bed with you.

One morning you wake up before him, the sunlight shining through the tiny window. Buggy was still asleep, facing your direction. It had been weeks, and you still had not really gotten to know him. He never questioned your change of heart, you probably both expected a stab in the back at any moment.

He was handsome, in his own way. You brushed the hair from his face, causing him to shimmy closer to you. You backed up, unsure of what he meant by that. You gazed at your hands, unsure of why you did that in the first place anyway.

With a groan, you swing your legs to the side, rubbing the nub gently. It was still taking some time to get used to, wishing you had his powers.

“You okay?”

“Go back to bed, Buggy. It’s cool.”

So he was a light sleeper after all, good to know. You couldn’t kill him yet, wondering if he’d be lulled into safety at all.

Your felt his eyes on you as you changed clothes. You let him think he was being sneaky, bending down on purpose to find your pants.

“Nice ink.”

“Bite my ass.”

”With pleasure.”

You both laughed, you throwing a shirt at his head. His smile was honest, cute even. This was going to be easier than you thought.

”Buggy, I have a map I want you to look over.”

”You mean?”

”Well,” you smiled, “a map to a map.”

He kissed you, “you have no idea what this means to me.”

You pushed him away, “thank me later.”

While he wasn’t looking, you wiped your mouth. He never done that before, men were too easy to trick. A guy like that was easy to mold into whatever you wanted.

“Lead the way, sweetheart.”

”Aye, aye. Captain.”

The way to the island you hid everything on was a long one. You planned this out carefully. Buggy didn’t know you had a sloop for you waiting, after you’d burn everything he worked for to the ground.

Buggy was none the wiser, letting you get closer. You never spoke about the two kisses shared, trying to find the right time. His lips on yours flustered you like no other, leaving you to chalk it up to nerves. He caught you staring at him more than once, a satisfied smirk plastered on his face permanently.

”What you doing here by your lonesome?”

You sighed, “needed some air. It’s nice to see the moon too, you know?”

He leaned against the railing, “yeah. Beautiful sight.”

You turned to see him looking straight at you, causing you to snort.

”Give me a fucking break.”

”Got plenty more where that came from, sweetheart.”

You slide your arms up his, “tell me, why keep me alive this long?”

”You’re crew, ain’t ya?”

”Before that.”

He nodded with a laugh, “oh that. Water under the bridge, bygones and all that shit.”

”Tell me.”

He looked shy, wringing his hands. Like he was trying to spit the words out, but couldn’t.

“If anyone’s gonna kill you. It’s me. You’re the uh, one that got away.”

You pushed him playfully, “give me a real reason.”

”You first.”

You inhale deeply, “you ruined my life. I mean, fuck Buggy. Look at me. I underestimated you, and look where that got me. You and your…goofy bullshit.”

“You’re not ruined.”

You huffed a laugh, “course not, you’re the only one who got this close anyway. You were my first, in a way.”

”Interesting.”

”Don’t read into it too much,” you spat.

You turned to go to bed, dreading him following you. You had to stick to the plan. Make yourself less of a threat. He stopped you, gently holding your wrist. Before you could say anything, he kissed you. Slipping your tongue in his mouth, you clung to his jacket.

Eventually he pulled back, eyes scanning your face. You kiss again, Buggy gripping your hair this time. He led you down below deck, to your bed.

He took his time with you, roaming every inch of exposed skin. Your eyes peeled open, making sure his was closed. You checked to see if your knives were close, just in case. You weren’t expecting the shove he gave before crawling on top of you. His hands quick to unbuckle and unbutton everything you had on.

“H-hold up. Stop.”

”What, what‘s wrong?” he panted.

“What are we doing?”

”What I wanted to do years ago,” he dove for your neck, nibbling on an ear lobe.

You couldn’t help the moan from escaping, refusing to let go of control, you worked on his own clothes. Soon you became a tangle of limbs, you kicking off your pant leg the best you could off your shoe. It was a complete mess, he didn’t care at all. It was like you were the only thing in the room.

“Take those stupid gloves off,” you said.

He did so in a flash, massaging a nipple. His fingers brushed against a scar, from someone that wasn’t him, but you let him think whatever he wanted. Your fingers did the same, the healed bullet wound on his side was from you.

“You’re so beautiful.”

”Bet you say that to all the bounty hunters.”

”Only ones naked in bed with me, which should happen more than it does. Eh, what can you do?”

You roll your eyes, wishing to shut him up. You gave his cock a few strokes, which seemed to do the job. Buggy unraveled before you, you liked seeing him this way. Your victory short lived, as he found your clit. You weren’t going to praise him for a good job, and he was determined to make it happen.

He was edging you closer, your movements getting sloppy. You moaned again, letting yourself have this release.

“That’s it. Cum on that shit.”

You pulled him closer, ready to lose your mind. Buggy encouraged you, kissing and biting your neck. You came and he kept going, fingers slipping inside you. You slapped his chest, but he didn’t let up thrusting his fingers.

”Buggy fuck me right now.”

”Yes, ma’am.”

He rammed into you, unpleasant until he lifted up your hips. He was hitting your sweet spot, and you hated how much fun you were having. You bit his lip as you kissed him, Buggy was louder than you expected in bed. Moaning at every thrust and bite and pull.

“Can I cum in you?”

”What? No, no. On my chest. Or something. Not in me.”

He mumbled an apology, speeding up. The feel of him sliding out sent shivers down your spine, his cum messily spilt all over you.

He kissed your lips gently before getting up to clean you off. Looking down you groaned at the make up and cum all over you. You were gross, he was gross.

Ships didn’t have showers, you cleaned up the best you could with a towel and bucket. You almost didn’t recognize the reflection in the mirror, a blissed out face looking back at you. You wanted to smash it.

Retuning under the covers, Buggy cuddled close to you, kissing you sweetly. You didn’t get it, couldn’t understand it. Was the sea really that lonely?

You let him hold you as you fell asleep, still tangled up with him in the morning. You almost didn’t want to get up, trapped in the warmth. Something stirred in the pit of your stomach, you couldn’t name it. He held you close to his chest, and you didn’t mind.

”Hey baby.”

You sighed, “hey.”

He gently stroked your cheek, his eyes gazing at you in a way that made you squirm. You rested on his chest, facing away from him. He didn’t seem to care, petting your head.

”How much longer to my hidey hole?”

He chuckled, “be there in a day.”

You smiled warmly, “perfect.”

”Oh yeah? Any genius plans in that head of yours?”

You pushed him off you, twirling your hair, “I dunno, any reason we should be leaving this bed anytime soon?”

That seemed to set him off, lips roaming down your stomach. He ate you out like a starving man, you cursed yourself for enjoying it way too much. You wanted to wipe that shit eating grin off his face, riding his cock until he saw stars.

You didn’t like the way Buggy looked at you when you allowed him to cum inside you this time. Deciding that you couldn’t trust a thing he was going to say to you until you arrived at that island.

The rest of the day, he left you alone, stealing glances when he could. You felt pity for him, the cane in your hand reminded you of your resolve. Buggy was going to pay.

As night fell, he found you on the deck again. His arms wrapped around your waist this time. You leaned against him, waiting for him to speak first. Feeling his heart beat loudly in his chest, caused yours to match. You awaited a blade, but it never came.

”I haven’t been to the Grand Line since I was young.”

”How’d you survive that one?”

He laughed in your ear, “I served on a pirate crew. I think you can guess which one.”

This surprised you, “no shit? Roger pirates, makes sense. You people are hard to kill. I had no idea.”

”I’m an open book baby, just gotta ask.”

”So why haven’t you killed me yet?”

You twisted around to face him, inches from his face. He took you in, a dazed look in his face as he remembered your past.

”And snuff out the most beautiful person in the world? I’m bad, baby, not evil.”

”Fuck you, Buggy.”

”I…I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, “no, fuck you. You can’t keep dancing around this!”

”You started it! Why can’t you just fucking let go then?”

“No one makes a fucking fool out of me!”

”No one is!”

You slap him, the shock letting you wiggle out. He shouted after you, running to the cabin before he could stop you from locking it. Your leg hurt, causing the dam to finally break. You were a failure, you let some fucking clown be your undoing. You collected bounties all over the East Blue, you even got a card from Baroque Works.

How stupid are you?

”Hey, please don’t cry,” said the voice behind the door.

”Look I-I’m trying okay? I’m making it up to you, aren’t I? How about next town, you’re the main act? I can teach you to juggle!”

”Stop making it seem like I’m some stupid little girl. I vowed to destroy you, got it?”

He was silent for a few moments, you groaned. Why were you acting like a little bitch? You couldn’t kill him now, you weren’t in the state to take on his whole crew.

”Baby, let me in please.”

You unlocked the door, gesturing to the empty room. Buggy carefully sat on the bed, patting the space beside him. You let him hold your hands as he crafted what to say.

”Look, I get it. I get betrayal. But I won’t, I promise. The past, is the past. But you and me, this thing now? That’s all that matters.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, an easy fuck and he’s suddenly so into you? How stupid did he think you were?

”You were a worthy enemy, and you’re so much more now.”

You smile, “sure.”

”I mean it.”

You could probably kill him now, the ship will arrive in the morning. Slip out before anyone knows. Make him pay for everything.

You kissed him, Buggy humming with joy. You’ll miss his eyes, and the rest of his stupid face. You fuck again that night, Buggy promising you the world. A few sweet praises, and he figured all was forgiven.

You convinced him to travel just the two of you, a promise of a little fun. As expected, he agreed. You had a map from someone long ago, the log pose you won in a fight. Buggy couldn’t do the things you could do. He never could.

”You wanna dig for it now? Buried treasure, pretty clever huh?”

”You ain’t helping?”

You motioned to your leg.

”Oh, shit. Sorry.”

He dug for 20 minutes, making him good and tired. Silently you pulled out the pistol hidden in your coat.

”Baby, how far you dig this fucking thing anyway?”

He paused when he heard that click. Turning around slightly, he didn’t see the shot coming. With a scream he fell down, you swung hard, the shovel quickly chopped off his head.

”You bitch! You fucking bitch!”

”Oh shut up, Buggy! You were gonna kill me anyway!”

”No I wasn’t! I might now you goddamn cunt!”

You shook his head, “whatever. I’m collecting that bounty.”

He screamed in a rage, his detached body struggling to stand up. You looked toward the shore, you had time to drag his body to the sea. He wouldn’t get up now.

His head fell silent, you glanced down to see the heart break on his face.

”Oh fuck off, don’t act like it meant anything.”

”Sure.”

”Oh what? Like you mean it? Like you actually cared about me at all?”

”I did.”

You shook his head, “I lost my leg! I lost my strength! You took it from me!”

”You took my heart and now my head, guess we’re even now!”

”You better not say what I think you’re gonna say!”

He spat at you, and causing you to cry out toward the sky.

”To think I let myself believe you were different.”

“You did this to me, Buggy.”

He winced, still feeling his body getting cold now. He looked up at you, you refused to meet his eyes.

”Do me a favor huh? Before I kick the bucket.”

”What?”

”Kiss me, one last time.”

You held his head up to your face, the sadness in his eyes you couldn’t bear to see. Tears rolled down his face as you kissed him tenderly. Reluctantly, you separated.

”I love you,” he whispered.

You set him in a bag as you readied your ship. Glancing back at the head of the man you seemed tied to by fate. Did he mean what he said? Did you love him too?

You burst into tears, running as fast as you could with the bag in your arms. You opened it up, so he could attach again. With surprise, Buggy watched as you carried him to the boat. You apologized between sobs, blood wetting your fingers.

You didn’t explain to the ship’s doctor what happened. Buggy never giving it away himself. You were going to die for this, and you accepted it. Maybe that was all that needed to be done to be free of him forever.

You didn’t leave his side, just like he didn’t leave yours. You should’ve known better, it was there in front of you all along.

He woke up late at night to you sleeping on the chair bedside. Various emotions swirled inside him as he gently nudged you awake.

”Buggy, oh thank god!” you rubbed his arm, “how you feeling?”

”Fine uh, care to explain what the fuck was that?”

You blush, shrinking in the chair. How were you ever coming back from that?

”I…had a plan. And a back up, in case it didn’t work out.”

”Was there even a fucking map?”

“Yes, for me more than you.”

You stared at each other, afraid of each other now. You desperately wanted things to go back to what they were. Carefully you hooked his hand with yours. You placed something in his palm.

He scoffed at your gift, his missing pinky.

”Get the fuck out.”

You nod, “that’s fair. Buggy, I…did you mean it? What you said?”

He swallowed hard, “does it fucking matter?”

”Yes,” you whisper, “because I do. Even if you don’t, I do.”

The tears fell again, Buggy turning his head away. You stand up, slowly heading out the door. You knew how to make this right, hoping he wouldn’t hoist the anchor as soon as you were gone.

In the pitch black dark, you finished up where you started. The pain in your leg was nothing compared to the one in your chest. You hobbled pathetically back to the cabin, looking the sorriest you ever felt as you presented what you promised.

”I can fuck off forever now, or…”

”Or?”

You swallow a nervous laugh, “I can make it up to you. You can even shoot me back.”

He laughed, “I got all my pieces with me now. Guess that’s payback enough.”

You nod, “permission to stay?”

”Yeah, sure.”

He didn’t look at you, and you decide against coming closer.

“I’ll just go find a place to sleep…”

”No, don’t. You don’t have to, not with your bum leg.”

”Buggy…I’m sorry.”

He motioned you over, letting you drape an arm over him.

He closed his eyes, “we’ll figure it out in the morning.”

”Oh, okay.”

He held your hand to his lips, “you’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

You let out a sigh of relief, easing into the mattress. Soon enough sleep claimed you, body and mind ready for whatever you got coming to you. All that mattered in this moment was Buggy in your arms.

You made it through the night alive, still shaky from the events that unfolded. Buggy pulled you closer, not wanting to wake up. He was going to be the death of you, one way or another.

[wlw-imagines]

A Different Kind of Attack - Danvers Sisters (Supergirl)

request: Hi, I was wondering if i could please get a supergirl oneshot where the reader is the youngest danvers sister, and she has asthma and has a really bad asthma attck while training with kara? - anon

a/n: these are from my old tumblr thefandomwritings from back in 2018 ! re-vamped and re-purposed!! hope u enjoy and forgive the 2018 me style writing and also v short

"Y/N!" Alex shouted, "You've got to move faster." She stood at the side of the room, watching you and Kara spar - getting out all of your sibling rivalry. The classic bet had taken place of ‘who can win in a fight’ - you know, typical Danvers sisters nights in together.

You grunted out a response, "That's easier said than done, Alex." You gritted your teeth and went for another punch towards Kara, jabbing harder with your left fist. Kara only just managed to dodge, her powers having been reduced in order to make it a fair(er) fight.

As the punches you were throwing at your older sister sped up so did your breathing. You could feel the sweat dripping down you collarbone but you still pushed on, proving that you were more than capable.

"Okay, call it off guys." Alex stepped in, forcing the two of your apart, "Kara, you're form is off and you're losing energy quick. You can't rely on your superpowers..." You zoned out as Alex addressed Kara, taking the time to criticize her stance before she came to you.

As the adrenaline from the fight wore off you put your hands on your knees, bending over as you tried to get your breath back. Having to breath rapidly was something you were used to in your intense exercise sessions but it wasn't usually this bad. You straightened up again, putting a hand on your chest - it was feeling too tight and you still couldn't slow down your breathing. That alone made you start to panic and your wheezing just seemed to increase.

You were vaguely aware of one of your sisters placing a hand on your shoulder and so you looked up to see Kara and you attempted to say that you were fine, that you just needed a moment, "Kara, I- f, fi- Do-"

You just couldn't get your words out, making Kara visibly freak slightly. "Alex? What-"

Alex just gently sat by your side, biting her lip lightly, "I think it's a... she just needs to- Y/N? I need you to stay calm for me." She spoke half to you and half to Kara, not quite sure who to calm first as things escalated.

"Alex!?"

"Kara, it's fine. She's going to be fine. Just stay calm." She directed to both of you, but now focused on you completely.

"But what-?"

"It's an asthma attack." She took your hand to support your weight before you could collapse or fall, she squeezed it lightly before looking at you more closely, "You haven't had one this bad in a while." You stumbled backwards slightly, making Alex take a sharp breath in. She kept your hands interlinked and put her other hand on your back, supporting you. "Y/N, I'm just going to sit you down." Alex lowered you to the ground and put your back against the wall, keeping your torso straight.

"Alex, her lips are going blue-"

Alex just nodded and stayed by your side, motioning for Kara to join the two of you, "Kara, I'm going to go get her a hot coffee or tea or something. I need you to stay with her, just keep talking and keep her breathing and calm. It's going to be fine, honestly." She reassured herself more than anything this time. "Is that okay?" She asked but Kara was entirely focused on you, only sparing enough broken focus to mumble out a response.

"Yeah, I- of course." Alex nodded and left, whilst Kara kept her soft gaze glued on you. The pain in your chest and the tension in your shoulders was beginning to decrease ever so slightly but it felt like you still couldn't get a full breath in, even if you wanted to.

You dropped your head slightly, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over you as you gained more and more control over your body and your breathing.

"Hey, little sis." She nudged your shoulder slightly, "How are you doing?"

"I'm oka- Yo-"

She smiled and put her hand up to silence you, nodding, "Okay, that was a stupid question, sorry! Apparently you humans have to breath regularly to survive so you should probably do that a bit now."

You wheezed out a breathy laugh and went to respond but chose to just shake your head at her instead.

"Bad time for a joke?" She asked, her smile only broadening. You just gave her a sarcastic pointed look, "Okay, fair." You both fell into a comfortable silence as Kara helped you fall into breathing at a more regular pace. After a while, Kara cheerily patted your knee, "Hey, see, you're doing great. Keep breathing, in and out."

You and Kara continued on like this for who knows how long before Alex made it back with some steaming hot chocolate. You smiled and wrapped your (still shaking) hands around the hot drink, gripping it enough to not spill any.

The three of you just sat for a while, not wanting to trigger any further asthma attacks, and allowing you to slowly regain normal colour to your face. You knew you were almost fully recovered when your stomach started to growl (Kara had been starving for a while now but she didn't want to leave your little bubble of chatter, these were her favourite moments). Alex insisted on going out to grab sandwiches, whilst you two stayed put.

Eventually you turned to Kara and snorted slightly, gaining her attention, "You know, you're surprisingly bad at keeping people calm in a bad situation. Like, for a superhero..." You trailed off, sending your sister a cheeky grin.

"What?! I was great!" She gasped, putting a hand to her chest in mock shock.

"Oh, sure! I couldn't breath and you were having your own freak out in the corner! Alex had to calm you down first." You criticised, knowing that you could joke about it now.

"Okay, that's true. You know I like to be dramatic." She blushed slightly and shrugged before turning slightly more serious and wrapping her arms around your shoulder, "I was just worried you know? You're my favourite little sister, I don't want to see you hurt. Ever."

You smiled, feeling a spreading warmth in your chest at that (in a good, healthy, definitely just love and not another asthma attack way). "I'm your o-"

"-Only little sister." She interrupted and finished for you, "I know, I know. Doesn't mean you can't be my favourite."

"Then you are my favourite Kryptonian older sister."

"Thank you." She kissed your temple. The sound of the door opening and Alex holding up your food made you both immediately jump to your feet faster than you should have been capable of, "Come on, let's get home and eat!" Kara cheered, pulling on your arm.

The three of you would always be there for one another, in any situation.

[paperbackribs]

The Gift (3a) (Witch Steve AU)

previous: Chapter 2: The Aftermath next: Chapter 3 Boys Are Witches Too (Part B) Ao3 Link - Chapters will be updated ahead of Tumblr Content: steddie fic, 1K words

Last chapter, Steve had a haunting vision of his Nana before comforting Dustin about Eddie's near death. This chapter, family weighs in on Steve's decision to save Eddie and it's time to explain himself to his friends.

Chapter 3 Boys Are Witches Too (Part A)

“Steven, as soon as you get this message, call me,” Mary Harrington’s strident voice carries through the answering machine to Steve’s reluctant ears. He sighs, fiddling with the button that will rewind the cassette, ready to be written over later.

After leaving the hospital, he’s managed to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, in his own bed and without feeling the need to clutch at a weapon.

He had finally washed off the grit, blood, and ash of the Upside Down that had felt permanently embedded in his skin and hair. And the soft material of the sleep shirt and shorts he now wears feels like a sort of balm after the roughness of Eddie’s vest rubbing against his wounds the past few days.

But exhaustion still drags at Steve, and he’s irritated with having just walked into the staircase banister.

The vacant space to the left of his field of vision isn’t debilitating; he can see mostly fine, it’s just that his peripheral vision is off. But getting a hang of it on top of the physical and spiritual exhaustion of fighting Vecna and Eddie’s revival was just another pip on top of the shitty Cherries Jubilee of the past week.

Better than the alternative, he reminds himself. Eddie had woken up, which had broken open a reservoir of relief that Steve thought he’d already dealt with.

But seeing Eddie open his eyes and speak clearly and coherently had released an anxiety that Steve hadn’t even realised he had been worrying at, like unconsciously scratching at a scab.

That he brought Eddie back to life was all well and good, but what if Steve had damaged him in some way? Messed with the threads of destiny to the extent that he brought the other boy back wrong.

He hadn’t though. Other than a brief panic attack that his Uncle Wayne had talked him down from, holding Eddie’s face in his hands, breathing deep and calming breaths together, Eddie was alive and well.

Between the bustle of Hop coming back alive, the intrusion of Doc Owens, and starting to manage the charges against Eddie, Steve hadn’t been able to do much more than nod at the other guy from the back of the room.

Eddie had looked overwhelmed and pale, but he had stared at Steve with an unnerving intensity. Steve wonders whether he looks so ugly now with the one white eye that Eddie hadn’t been able to look away. Like a terrible car wreck on the side of the road.

And now his mother wants to talk to him. It’s been 48 hours since he reached across worlds and pulled Eddie through, and his mother Knows and wants to talk to him.

It wasn’t that long ago that Coleman had brought him into the principal’s office to discuss the ‘dangerous road’ he was taking as his grades tanked and he quit the swimming team. This feels unpleasantly similar.

He punches in the Chicago office number through to her direct line and greets her before she says anything.

A pregnant pause hangs in the air before she quietly asks, “What the hell did you do?”

Steve rubs at his forehead tiredly, “Time to break out the wooden spoon, Mom.”

“I can’t believe you did something so reckless. Was it The Sacrifice? Is that it? What did you give up? Not your life obviously, since you’re still able to call your mother two days later.”

She sounds so much like Nana sometimes, he thinks nostalgically. Wishing that she was alive and here to guide him right now.

“My eye. Only the one.”

“Was it Robin?” His mother had gotten to know Robin after the destruction of Starcourt Mall, even if it was only after the disastrous event that she’d been able to return to Hawkins. During their weekly phone calls, she had come to understand how deeply he cares for his friend.

“No, it’s a guy. Eddie. He got mixed up with the Upside Down too and I Saw it, Mom. It was going to be awful.”

“Still, you risked your life, baby.” Steve shifts on his feet as his mother’s voice thickens. Like him, she would rather pinch the tears away than let anyone see her cry so to hear it in her voice makes guilt settle heavily in his chest.

“It was worth it,” he insists.

She audibly sucks in a breath, “He means that much to you?”

“It’s not like that,” he says. “I mean, he’s a good guy,” he adds hastily. “But it was going to affect everyone, it was going to change Dustin.” She knows how much Dustin means to him.

“And,” he continues without much thought, “he really is a good guy. Like the best with the kids, he’s funny, and there’s just so much life to him, you know. I never could have lived with myself if I had done nothing.”

“Okay,” she hums, but Steve can’t tell whether he’s convinced her.

“You’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” he assures her.

Steve doesn’t bother to ask whether she’d told his father about what he had done; he’s pretty sure their secretaries have conveyed all communications for the last eighteen months.

During their Sunday phone calls, Mary talks about her work as an environmental lawyer and Steve talks about Robin and the kids; neither likes to delve deeper into their family dynamics.

He gives her a brief outline of the past week, leaving out the more violent events including the final battle, but gives her enough so that she understands that it’s over too.

Her gifts have always leaned more towards the earthy than the ethereal, like Steve’s and his Nana’s. So, when he tells her that he Knows this is done, a deep sigh of relief comes down the line. She hadn’t been able to convince him to leave Hawkins in ‘83 and now she won’t need to keep trying.

He hopes, a week later, standing in his kitchen this time, that his friends likewise accept his story...

If you liked anything, please consider leaving a comment over on Ao3 :-) It would make my day!

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[justagalwhowrites]

Beskar Doll Ch. 31 - Captured

You're in the hands of the syndicate and Din is ready to do whatever it takes to get you back. A continuation of Beskar Doll Ch. 1-30 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: The Mandalorian/Din Djarin x Female Reader

Warnings: Torture. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 3.5k

The slap to the face was a rude awakening. It knocked your skull back into metal, making your ears ring and your head pound. You blinked, trying to get your vision to straighten out. You went to rub your eyes but your hands were bound at your side. Of course they were.  

“She’s up.” 

The room around you came into focus, still fuzzy around the edges. It was a larger, windowless space and there were three people inside it with you, a woman stood at the back, two men closer to you. The woman looked you up and down, eyes ranging over you slowly. Appraising you.

“You killed 26 of my men,” she said, prowling closer. 

“Shit,” you sighed. “Is that all? I’d been hoping I broke 30…” 

One of the men punched you in the side. You barely had a chance to flex the muscles in your core to cushion the blow. You did your best to not react, just looked at him for a moment before turning your attention back to the woman. 

“Nice dog,” you said, jerking your head toward the man. “Get him for a discount because of the inbreeding or…” 

He punched you again. You just laughed, even though your side was already hurting. You quickly took stock of what you could sense of your body, going through the rapid checks that had been drilled into you when you were trained on how to withstand and survive torture. You started with the major systems. Head hurt but nothing serious. You didn’t feel any blood and your mind wasn’t foggy so there probably wasn’t internal bleeding, either. Heart and lungs were intact. You could feel your legs - something you had experience with not feeling now - so your spine was in one piece. Then, you started from the bottom and worked your way up. No unexpected points of pain, no broken bones or huge gashes to be concerned with. For now, you were whole.

Unfortunately, you didn’t have a rank and serial number to just blindly answer their questions with this time. You supposed you could have fallen back on your old rebellion information but that would risk them tying you to who you really were, not something you wanted to do if you made it out of this alive. You were strapped to the same kind of chair Imperials used when using torture droids - your arms extended at your sides, held away from your body, your legs slightly spread and straight down - but you didn’t see one of the droids. A good sign. The droids were good at what they did. You could out last them, but it was a challenge.

You took stock of the room and the people next. The woman was obviously in charge. She was pale with dark hair and a tattoo you didn’t recognize around one eye. The men were large, meant to intimidate. But, judging by the tactics so far, weren’t trained in the finer points of interrogation. You needed to be more worried about them losing control and killing you than of their methods actually getting anything out of you. It would be a game of survival, then. 

The building told you less. Somewhere large, it seemed. The room was cool, so likely not exposed to the sun, making it the interior of a structure. Of course, you had no idea just how long you’d been transported. For all you knew, they’d taken you off world. But the sand in the corners of the room made that unlikely. You just had no idea where on Tatooine you were. So you’d definitely need to steal a speeder if you made it out. 

“What were you doing in Beggar’s Canyon?” The woman asked, coming and standing beside you. 

“Just seeing the sights,” you said. “View was great until you idiots showed up.” 

Another punch to the side, this one closer to your hip. 

“What were you doing in Beggar’s Canyon?” She asked it again, through gritted teeth this time. 

“Are you too stupid to speak Basic?” You snapped. “I told you, I’m a tourist.” 

The woman scowled at you for a moment before turning to the men. 

“Loosen her up a bit,” she ordered. “Get me when you’ve made progress.” 

You were right. They weren’t interrogators. The men were clumsy in their work, lacking any kind of precision. One hit you across the face, the other went for your stomach, knocking the wind out of you. They didn’t follow it up with any questions. 

The moment it was obvious that these men weren’t going to try to extract information, you let your mind go. It was a tactic you knew from training, separating your mind from your body. You could break away, the pain becoming a dull roar in the background. The blow that snapped a rib barely broke through, seeming more like a jolt when landing on the Crest and the armrest of the chair smacked into your side. You were only vaguely aware of the trickle of blood from the corner of your mouth, the wetness dripping onto your chest more shocking than the pain. You weren’t quite sure how long they tried to hurt you when they stepped back from you, panting for breath, looking you over. 

“Get the Gardulla,” one said. 

That snapped you back to reality, your conscious mind rejoining the rest of you. The dull awareness of pain became a roar and you did your best to assess the damage and dull it before they effectively drugged you. At least two broken ribs but no punctured lung. Potentially fractured jaw. Orbital bone also had some damage. Sternum was bruised to the bone but seemed intact. You were certain your torso was going to be covered in vicious bruises but it didn’t feel like there’d been any serious damage done to internal organs as of yet. All in all, not as bad off as you could have been. You tried to find a part of your body that wasn’t hurting to focus on, dulling the other parts that were in pain. 

One of the men grabbed your forehead and yanked it back, holding your skull against the back of the chair with one hand while prying your mouth open with the other. The second man dumped the Gardulla in your mouth, making you cough and choke. Once they were done pouring, the first man clamped your mouth shut and covered it, forcing you to swallow the liquor. He released you once he was satisfied and you were able to try to expel what had been poured into your lungs. 

“She should be ready to talk now,” the first man said, coming around and looking at you with a vicious smile. The second man left the room.

“If you really think all it takes is a light beating and some booze,” you said, trying to catch your breath. “You’re stupider than you look, and that’s saying something.” 

He punched you in the stomach one more time for good measure and you laughed as you struggled for air. 

“She doesn’t look ready to talk,” the woman was back, watching you laugh at her thug. 

“Gardulla is taking effect,” the second man said, following her in. “Give it a try.” 

She stalked around you in a circle, looking you up and down slowly. You could feel the liquor seeping into you, the edges of your mind softening. You focused as hard as you could, gathering the things you needed to keep safe and locking them away. Din, the child. Where they might be. Where they might go. How to find them. You could picture it happening inside your head. No one could reach those things, not without permission. You weren’t about to provide it. 

The woman made it around to the front of you. 

“What were you doing in Beggar’s Canyon?” She asked again. 

“What were YOU doing in Beggar’s Canyon?” You asked, laughing a little. The woman’s mouth formed a tight line. 

“Fine,” she snapped. “Let’s try a different tack. Who are you working for?” 

“Now?” You asked. She gave you a single nod. “I work for myself. It’s the way to go, you should try it instead of whatever it is you’re doing now…. Seems like a shit gig.” 

She narrowed her eyes at you. 

“Who did you work for before?” She asked through gritted teeth. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you snorted. 

“I thought you said she was ready to talk,” she turned to her goons. 

“You said not to risk killing her…” he lowered his voice. 

“Because we need to know who knows where our stock is,” she snapped. “We need to know who is trying to eliminate us! I didn’t tell you to be so careful with her that she doesn’t open her fucking mouth!” 

She turned back to you. 

“I want you to know,” she said, her voice kinder. “That it will be a lot easier for you if you just talk to us now. If you don’t, I will give them permission to do far worse to you than they’ve already done and I think we can agree, what they’ve done is bad enough.” 

You scoffed. 

“What they’ve done is amateur hour,” you rolled your eyes. “If you want to break me with them? You better strap in for the long haul, they’re fucking useless.” 

She looked you over. 

“Keep her awake until the Gardulla wears off,” she commanded, not taking her eyes off you. “Then step it up. Make her feel it. Then we’ll try it again.” 

They left you alone and darkened the room before blasting the sound of a siren, so loud it made your ears ring. You closed your eyes and tried to separate your mind again. It was going to be a long few hours. 

*** 

Din had reviewed every map he had of Tatooine and couldn’t find an abandoned fucking palace anywhere. 

The man he’d spoken to was truthful, he was certain of it. But the maps Din had were, at most, 10 years old. If the palace had been abandoned for decades, it had likely been left off. Maybe even assumed to have been swallowed by sand. And he didn’t have the luxury of time to comb the desert on his own. Not when they were hurting you, trying to break you. 

He took the speeder to Mos Espa, pushing it to its limit. It barely came to a stop before he jumped off it at the cantina he’d met Peli’s contact at before. He stalked inside, the child in the bag on his hip. 

The cantina went quiet and he was happy for the reaction his armor brought. He wanted the attention now, wanted the fear. He needed everything he could leverage. 

“I’m looking for information,” he said, fighting to keep his tone even. “I am willing to pay. I need the coordinates for an abandoned palace on the northern Dune Sea. I will protect your identity if the information is accurate.” 

He stalked to an open table and sat down. The music started again and he clenched a fist, waiting. He fought to be patient, give someone time to get up the nerve to approach him. But every second he wasted sitting here was agony. While he was here, they had you. While he sat here, they were trying to pull information out of you. Information that Din knew you wouldn’t give up and that would just make it worse for you. He ground his teeth. He had to find you. 

Din couldn’t remember the last time he was this afraid. He felt sick, as though someone had his whole chest in a vice grip. It was like he couldn’t take a full breath, couldn’t make his heart beat properly. His mind kept going over what could be happening to you, what it would be like finding you broken or dead. 

“I love you, Din. So much.” He heard your words on loop over and over again in his mind. No one had ever said that to him before. He’d never wanted anyone to say it before. All he wanted to do was wrap himself in those words, in you. Hold your love close, so close that it wouldn’t matter if he never heard those words again. He had them from you, even once, and that was enough. But you were gone. They’d taken you. He had to get you back. 

He was getting too overwhelmed with waiting, starting to think about how long it would take to get to Mos Eisley, talk with Peli and get the Crest when a small, elderly woman slid into the booth across from him. 

“You said you needed information?” She asked quietly. Din nodded once. “What will you pay?” 

“What do you want for it.” 

She paused, thinking. 

“200 credits?” 

Normally, Din would have bargained. Not today. He took the money out and put it on the table. 

“Coordinates,” he said. 

“I don’t have those,” she said, looking at the pile of credits hesitantly. “But if you have a map, I can point it out, I know where it was. The Hutts used it as a pleasure house when I was a girl, we would go there looking for work sometimes. They needed people to serve drinks, run errands…” 

He pulled out the data pad with the map of the Dune Sea. She looked it over for a moment, getting her bearings, and then pointed out a spot. 

“It’s there,” she said. 

“You’re certain,” he replied. 

“Positive,” she nodded once. He pushed the credits toward her and got up to leave. 

“Be careful out that way,” she said. Her eyes were wide in her wrinkled face. “There are bandits and gangs that run rampant out there.” 

“I know.” 

He was counting on it.

He got back on the speeder bike, driving as fast as it would carry him, into the desert to find you. 

***

The siren had become a drone and the darkness a comfort when the lights came on and the sound cut at the same time. You blinked quickly, trying to force your eyes to adjust as fast as they could to the almost blinding brightness. The silence was nearly deafening, your ears ringing and scrambling for something to latch onto. Your body was desperate for information, too vulnerable to try to wait out the sudden change. You fought to get your instincts under control when a syringe was plunged into your arm. You gasped in shock, still not able to see more than smears of color around you. 

“That’s a serum left over from old Imperial stores,” the woman’s voice was oddly loud as your eyes came into focus. “From the IT-0 units. Reduces pain tolerance, makes it so you can’t pass out. We don’t have much, I’ve been saving it to use on the right person. And then you show up. You, who killed off a chunk of my front line men. You, who seem to know just where we need to be. You, who won’t tell me who you’re working for. You seem like a perfect candidate.” 

“The Imps were always shit at doing things themselves,” your voice sounded strange, the ringing in your ears dying down. You could see her now, standing in front of you. “They always needed the help of droids or chemicals. A good interrogator just needs their hands, a knife and their head.” You glanced to the men behind her. “Not that you’d seem to know.” 

She flipped open a knife and held it up in front of you before wordlessly pressing the point of it into your stomach. You clenched your jaw, trying not to scream. She hadn’t broken the skin but it felt like she was thrusting it into you. 

“It really doesn’t take long for the serum to take hold,” she said, handing the knife to one of her men. “I need you to know that you can stop this at any time. Just tell me what I want to know. Who were you here with? Why are you here? Who do you work for? Where can we find them? That’s all. Those simple questions are all I need and they’ll stop.” 

“It’s been a while since I’ve been interrogated,” you met her eyes. “I could use the practice.” 

She shrugged. 

“It’s your flesh.” 

She nodded to the man she passed the knife to and he stalked forward, practically salivating. You steeled yourself. You would not tell her about Din and the child. Nothing that would link back to them. Hopefully they were far from here by now but you couldn’t risk it, you didn’t know how far the syndicate’s reach was if they thought they were in danger. You could resist this. You could resist this for them. 

He pressed the knife into your arm, piercing the skin. The pain was so much worse than it should be, you knew that it couldn’t be this bad, but you had to swallow your scream. He made a short, shallow incision and looked to the woman. She gave him a nod. He notched the long side of the blade against the cut and dragged it down, taking a two inch wide strip of skin away from the bone and muscle, pulling the flesh from your body from your elbow to your wrist. You could feel yourself trying to pass out, trying to do something - anything - to relieve the pain that was so intense it felt like you were going to die but the drugs in your system kept you conscious. You couldn’t hold it back anymore. You screamed. 

He removed four more strips of flesh from your body before she stopped him. Your throat was raw from screaming, your whole body aching like a raw nerve. Everything you wore was wet with your own blood. 

“Ready to tell us who you’re working for?” She asked, stepping close to you, putting her face beside your own. Her voice was calm, soothing. “I can make this stop for you. I don’t want to hurt you. I just need the information. Just that. I can even get you bacta, make this pain all stop for you. Wouldn’t you like that?” 

You smiled, the movement pulling on your damaged cheeks. She was using tactics you used when extracting information. You knew exactly how this would go.

“I don’t work for anyone,” your voice shook. “I am here as a tourist. And you can go to hell.” 

She sighed. 

“Take her to holding,” she said. “We can’t push her any further right now or it’ll kill her.” 

The man came forward and unhooked you from the chair. You formed a plan quickly, making yourself go limp. Let them underestimate you. Make it so they didn’t need to cuff you, see if they wouldn’t. 

He pulled you from the chair and slung you over his shoulder, not bothering to restrain you. Even with the pain, you had to resist the urge to smile. This you could work with. 

He carried you to a cell, not far down a hall, and dropped you unceremoniously on the ground. You took advantage of it, suddenly gasping for air and clutching your ribs. 

“What the fuck did you do?” The other man demanded. 

“I just put her down!” He snapped. “You saw it!”

“Go get the boss,” he said, standing away from you but watching you. You kept gasping for breath as the man hurried back with the woman in tow. She glared at the man who dropped you. 

“You probably punctured her lung,” she snapped. “We’ll have to get her to the medic to keep her alive, we need to know who the fuck is after us…” 

He went to pick you up again and you took advantage of his undefended position. You swept his legs out from under him and immediately wrapped your legs around his from behind and threw your arm around his neck, pulling it back. He gasped and choked, pulling uselessly on your arm. 

“Shit!” The other man yelled and tried to go in the cell but the woman stopped him, just watching. 

“Want him to live?” You gasped, tightening your grip. Your body was screaming in pain but you shoved it down. “Then let me go.” 

“You think I care if he lives?” She scoffed.

“No,” you replied, squeezing tighter. The man thrashed against you, the final throws of life, before he gurgled and went limp. You kept the hold up, just to be safe. You looked at the other man. “But now he knows it, too. And he knows that all I need is a second, just one second, and I’ll kill him, too.” 

You released the man’s limp body, checking his pulse for a moment. It was gone. You smirked through the screaming pain. 

“My number’s up to 27.” 

[rainbowgod666]

Welcome to the Multiverse

Colors sendable (the first image is from @sizzlingcandyjellyfishhh while thesecond image is from @gaybichon), and also the @wynmu vibes thing. While the divider was made by @sister-lucifer (weird url ik but mines weirder soooo)

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To let you get started, here are some of my best posts. Remember that the Ourple ones are KINDA mandatory if you want ANY background on wtf is this blog.

List of my powers / Its the end of the world as you know it (and i did it on purpose) / an admin kicked me off the island lmao / Mental Health Time / You Absolute Buffoons / The Numeron Game / Well thats a thing that happened! / Out of touch: leap yeap / 🅱️usiness / Magnus did nothing wrong, except its steven universe / welcome to the internet, SCP edition / #HALLOLLAH# / AMERICA IS FASCIST HEAVEN BECAUSE FUNNY / Lost Childhoods / please save those poor gay americans / Free Disco Elysco / Bone to the bad / Priting Wrojects / the True Range of my abilities / the fuck's an apocalypse knight anyway? / @punkitt-is-here fucked Geronimo Stilton and i think its a good thing / Alex goes batshit insane and forces everyone to do as he says... again 🙄 / Screaming in a Pattern. / wizardposting: because powerscaling needed fuckign Zeno Dragonballsuper apparently / BEN 10 BUT LANCER? FUCK YEAH! / So i went batshit insane again / High Geology / fantasy settings on tumblr are really fucking cool actually / RIFLE. IS. FINE. BUT YOU FUCK UP DESIGN YOU UROD. / i technically claimed ownership of Dr. Bright and Betty from glitchtale do you seriously think im NOT gonna do that for homestuck? / XenasOuch / SCP-8000 contest, OR: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUC- / LEMMINO but like, 8 years ago / Hazbin Hotel: a necessary... something i guess. / research attempt: the wizardposting wine aunt /

Below is who i am, and also the tags you can (and should) search for

Hi, name's Alex.

Born on the first ever day of 2005 and also having aspergers, i am a guy from italy trying to make it impossible for anyone to spend a day without knowing who i am. Also i literally trascend powerscaling so hard the only things that can even put a DENT on me are... decided by me. Welcome to the multiverse i guess.

DNI: people who support genocide, people who tolerate corporate bullshit, racists, and terfs.

The following list is ALL THE TAGS USED TO NAVIGATE THIS BLOG. Seriously. This masterpost is an explaiantion for the "portal hub" i placed in the search bar

Lore Post: sometimes the lore of the multiverse, sometimes my personal life.

Welcome to the multiverse: sometimes MASSIVE textpost telling everyone "oh yeah right, this dude has autism", usually me existing. tHE MAIN TAG.

Alex's Answering Machine: literally my asks

The magical workshop: turns out the wizards of tumblr are the reason the phrase "some of y'all have gotten too comfortable saying stuff without getting punched for it" exist. And its up to my autistic, protagonism-fueled low self-esteem high self-awareness ass to... fix shit up.

Belowstory: undertale but REALLY FUCKED UP: so basically frisk falls down and is greeted by a feminine voice that calls itself chara (it becomes slightly visible after getting out of the ruins) and like the good boi undertale character he is he proceeds to save the world. This entire thing exists because one time I was like "how fucked up OP can a sans be before its My Immortal levels of wtf?" And uh yeah here we are uuuuuuh sans greets you by pointing a .44 magnum at you so thank the head of the guards (papyrus) for saving you. Everyone here is broken and just wants A Fucking Break. Also you gain levels in pacifist because LOVE is Level Of VirtuE. Fuck you lmao

Undertale.exe: so I looked at Camilla Cuevas being an awful person. Then i looked at the beautiful anime that is @jakei95's underverse... then i smushed it all toghether to basically create the perfect AU. Frisk is a pansexual fuccboi that Has Game, Chara is THICC and powerful, Betty is built like a ballerina and is 1000 years old, and Asriel is a Streemur. All of them live in this house far away from the city thats literally a larger version of sans' house. All charachters can legally drink (prepare for Drunk Chara shenanigans where its Betty Glitchtale the drunk one instead) and the only one who (probably) isnt gay is Asriel (even though frisk covets the Dreemur Dong) (one day soldier, one day...). Many chatachters from many AUs sometimes come to visit cause, you know. Its a nice place.

Curseworld: massive writing project of mine which is just "adventure time shaped mass of autism". The world is cursed and fucked over, and everything is colorful. Its also part Owl House because fuck you the magic system is FUCKED here.

Internet friends: basically internet stereotype-shaped people. We have a furry thats normal, a reddit/discord mod that just wants to work in peace, and the protagonist is Just A Guy but a-ha! He has both an xbox an...d ps5 thus fucking over any CAD reference. The last sketch i made was a mr.monopoly shaped guy who really wants youngsters to actually AFFORD shit who is married to a very obvious reference to Meru the succubus. Also i 100% intend to put a gag about mr beast living in an ATM when he isnt making videos

Im looking respectfully: look. Back then tumblr was basically Rule 34 with twitter users. Now its way better at the cost of a fraction of their value. Have fun looking at attactive women!

TOH:NEXT GENERATION: not even @moringmark's comics are safe! Enjoy the adventures of ayzee commented by me... telling everyone that shes STRONG strong. Like holy shit girl inherited will much?

Warhammer 50k: listen. This is just me looking at games workshop and fucking emperors tts and going "fuck that. Heres mine". This is a project where my "shard" assegned to this universe basically copies the imperium because, and im not joking, "the emperor is kind of a baka, but then again tzeentch is a thing so...". Also btw TTS is canon as SHIT. Like fr its all canon. Yes even the shadowsun fling, let kitten rest.

Pluripotent Impotence: an scp canon of mine thats basically "the foundation is so cold and clinical they MASSIVELY misunderstood shit". 6140, 6500, 5500 and 7000 are canon. 2718 and 5000 are in the files but they basically might as well not exist. 3812 is living tech support. 166 is in her early 20s and 239 is 19 and they fuck nasty (theyre also childhood friends. Girl Love i guess~) because fuck you clef love wins especially yuri go snort telekill dust. 2317 loves humans and thins theyre cute and squishy and when its seventh child turned out to be fucking JoyBoy? Yeah get this: he DID condemn the fortune teller that was like "dude your sevent child is one of those prophecy children that are so in vogue these days" but also messed with fate so that her death ended up being the coolest and most inspiring shit ever because he was like "considering the average Evil King story, i might as well just... let this happen! Maybe i can convince my literal offspring to spare me!" And it fucking worked. Also a bunch of shit is canon. @i-am-dado looks like a Kpop star and is somft. Dr Jack bright is my character and mine alone and also elias shaw is there i guess. My OC bangs the first one of these 2 amulet boys on a regular basis and the second one occasionally, dont ask why is there a gay polycule when im straight, there are some things that escape my mind. I have been in SCP for a long time and regardless of me making my account 6/1/2024 (LA BEFANAH) i have been here longer than you believe in. From my perspective it took a year before a 5000 contest was announced, so fcuk yoyu

Earth-ℵ₀: the best way to take care of the DC and Marvel universes is... let an autistic dude fix damages done by money-hungry idiots in hollywood. The joker is unimportant. Dr.Manhattan is Done With This Shit. I made a squad with random charachters i like. Lmao suck on uranium rods UwU

ytposting: (Funkdela Catalogue: Encounter starts playing)

Omni-shit: ben 10 is actually a good series guys, and the reboot is an interesting way of showing what would Ben 10 Classic look like if it was made Now

1% enhancement: basically i look at something and go like "hey what if the charachters were basically part me but not in a Knights of the Apocalypse way"

Tumblr italia: aò sono italiano che cos'altro vi aspettate

components: basically i use tumblr as image hosting. LoL.

Items: images turned undertale items. For reference, i have 2³¹-1 HP and my stats are ATK 100000 and DEF 65535. Yes the attack is a yugioh zexal reference. NOSTALGIA IS PTSD BUT GOOD.

Mungeon Deshi: dunmeshi is a good anime and marcille is italian

Full Nelson Analchemist: if FMA exists in my presence im going to give the 20k mg weed gummy to Truth

Evangelion 4.0: look, hideki anno has gone insane. Every time he makes evangelion as the most brain damaging version of telling someone to go touch grass people inevitably miss the point. I take it upon myself to give the @jakei95 treatment to the poor creatures (also fun fact: KAWOSHIN CANON. THEY KISS ON SCREEN. FUCK YOU AMERICA.)

The hoes are stuck: homestuck. What you thought they were safe from my grasp? 人間 you havent seen sheiße.

FeeF the BeeB: minecraft mod bullsheiße

[[Nothing Is Worth The Risk]]: lets just say that sometimes, the multiverse isnt that "cool and good"

Ultimate Sonic: i have a Sonic AU where... uhm... just. If i have a post about that. Just look at it. LoL.

Multiverse Polls: i make tHEM-

Autistic and Artistic: (draws happily)

Side effects of reading this blog can vary between true insight into the inner workings of the universe and self-defenestration from the top of the burj khalifa.

Anyways welcome to the multiverse

Do yourself a favour and dont go out without a loaded gun.

[thevulturesquadron]

Hey remember that post you made a time ago about E9?

I agree with it all, but I wanted to talk especially about the rushed part, i.e Roberto and Rogue immediately going into the "villain guards" roles. It is missing a moment between them joining Magneto and the following fight against X-Men

What would you put as this moment? A dialogue? I've been thinking about this and I even want to write a fic, but my brain can't chose. (I've been leaning on Rogue reassuring Roberto somehow) So?

Many thanks! I love your blog bestie <33

– @unfortunately-obsessed

Hey sweet thing! 🌺 (your tumblr posts always put a smile on my face) Oh! I love this! If you write something I would kill to read it! For E9 I would have loved to see a moment on Asteroid M between the two, either when they set foot inside for the first time or before preparing for the ‘meet and greet’ with the X-Men. I feel like once in space, after the adrenaline wears off Roberto would worry about the choice he made. I like to think Rogue would sense it and maybe look for him. What if she finds him in front of one of the wide panels looking down towards Earth? She would probably start the conversation by saying something like ‘quite a sight from up here, ain’t it sugah?’ Having a moment between the two with a look over the ‘dying’ earth would put things into a certain perspective. I imagine Rogue being reassuring, as much as she could, but there is a fire under her skin as well that she needs to tame - when he shows doubt she’d tell him she’s been following Xavier’s ways for years and that his heart may be in the right place but he’s living in a past version of the fight. Things have changed in his absence and she’s done with putting the idea of peace ahead of mutant lives. She’d tell him that there is no right or wrong way of doing this, that if there’s one thing he can count on is that he’s never going to have to face anything alone. I like to think she’d ask him if he’s scared and when he’d ask her back she would answer honestly - ‘ yes’. She’d admit that after Remy died she was so lost in her anger, thinking she had nothing left to lose, but has since realized that that was not true. She’d look down the hall that leads to Magneto’s ‘throne room’ and she’d tell Roberto that being a mutant is not just about his powers, it’s about something more. And any mutants that are still out there are worth fighting for. Maybe Roberto would confess that the look in Magneto’s eyes scares him even if he stands by his choice. And her face would darken in worry. ‘That’s the other reason why I chose to be here. Erik’s a good man, sugah. But he’s been through a lot. And I refuse to lose him too - not to his pain, not to his anger.’ In Genosha he asked her for help, to be the balancing force that would keep him in check. She was angry with him back then, but seeing him now, seeing how the world treated all of them, she understood how vulnerable he actually allowed himself to be. If she was ready to be by his side at his best - she wasn’t going to abandoned him at his worst. And I would have liked to see one last exchange between them as they are making their way towards the Blackbirld. Maybe Rogue would sense Roberto’s internal conflict and that would strengthen her conviction. ‘They need us. The X-men, Magneto. Things will get nasty, so we need to be strong. Sometimes you gotta punch a fella you love to get them to sit down and listen. A blackened eye heals faster than a broken arm.’ She’d wink and punch in the door key to the hangar. Or something like that! I am terrible with dialogue but I would have loved a tiny moment that shows both the internal conflict they were going through and what stood behind their choices. Even a short reassuring hand on his shoulder and a voiceless exchange before stepping in would have been enough. Taking the mantle of the ‘bad guy’ so that others can fight their good fight with lessened consequences is often times an unsung tale.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S1Ep13! Bards, neat!

And we start with a flashback?

Ahhhh, Gabrielle as a bard relaying tales

Gabrielle your gay is showing

They're so gaaaay

A bard competition

Who is this boring white boy

I wanna punch the sexist prick

AZAHAHA XENA'S GLARE WHEN SHE ASKS ABT ATHENS

Gods Lucy Lawless is gorgeous

"EVEN IF I HAD AN ARMY AROUND ME I'D NOTICE YOU MISSING" 😭😭😭

Xena is super gay

HOW GAY. TELLING THE STORY TOGETHER

"the only family he ever needed was standing right beside him" GAY!?

Thank you for being my family (if I had a nickel for every lesbian couple saying something like that-)

Ah yes. "sister" sureee

"Draco. Nononooo"

Love how all of Gabrielle's stories are about her girlfriend

"Was your name in there someplace?" 😂

EURIPIDES

pFTTTT SHE SMUGGLED IT IN

OH SHIT

The was stabbed? Or... Not? Ah.

Ohhh, the Celeste storyyy

When I say I cannot tell all these brown haired men apart... Half the "attractive" men look the same... 😂 (maybe I'm just being a lesbian about this)

SHSHSHSHS PLS THE STORYTELLING OF THE GUY "There's like, all these guys fighting"

"The moral is... He kills all the bad guys"

Awww, a storyteller with a stutter.

What is this uncomfortable straightness.

"And then arghhhh, right in the gut!"

Holy shit? Can we maybe not torture Xena?

She's just like get OUTTTT I WANNA SLEEEEP Also I miss Xena :(

"If you don't like it, nobody else will" FUCKING RIGHT

....... Ffs. Shithead snitch

Blergh

YES. YOU TELL EURIPIDES. YOU CAN SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

"Turns out we had a lot in common" You're both gay for the person you travel with

ATCH THE SOULMATE STORY (the aroace in me doesn't like it because it implies Aro and Ace people are "broken" for not craving that. Also non-monogamous people. But apart from that it's still a cute notion)

Autism honestly. Euripides and the other one.

Twickenham? I can't read his name, so... (It's fine I looked it up. Did think it was Trigonom because I have bad auditory processing)

Awwww she gets to perform

THE BABEHHH

Right. She yeeted that baby a lot. XD

"It's madness that she was left out" SLAAAY

Art will never take second place to rules and regulations

Ffs you stupid father. Stop living through your son.

"He'd do better if he was allowed to be himself" EXACTLY

Love this monster costume XD

WTF is this man's problem!

OMG THEIR MEETING STORYYYY Lesbianism showing

"You're not alone" I'm gonna go sob again byeee

NOT THE GUY TAKING THE HANKIE TO WIPE HIS TEARS

"Hu?" "I liked it a lot." Shdhsgsgs

Shielded his orbs sjdhshhs PLEASE SIR YOU WOULD DO NUMBERS ON TUMBLR IN MEMES

I think I should care about this, but all I can think about is how that Spartacus guy looks old enough to be this girl's father at LEAST

Ohhhh, the Twickenham guy (or whatever) got in!

HOMER!!!! THAT'S HOMER. OOOOOO

She didn't get in tho. But ah well.

Xenaaaa :D

OH SHE WON. I THOUGHT SO.

"It's good to have you back" you missed Gabrielle so much it makes you look stupid, Xena

"This is gonna make a great story" indeed!

I love that this was a really Gabrielle centric episode? Well we had flashbacks to lots of previous adventures but y'know

[missgryffin]

hi! I’m a new writer and I started a fic but I just wanted to ask if you had any advice for writing fanfiction. I started my fic but I’m kinda hitting a writers block and I don’t know where I want my story to go. I want my characters to have dimension but I don’t think I’m communicating it well. And my plot line, I feel like it’s so hard to communicate in writing. I just feel like my writing is bad as a whole and I wanted to ask for advice because you’re literally one of the best writers I’ve encountered! Love your writing so much

Thanks for the kind words, anon!! 🫶 This got long, so I put it below a cut:

First off, congrats on getting started — that's always the hardest part, and there's a lot of bravery in starting something new and letting your work exist outside your head. The #1 piece of advice I hear everywhere and pass along to you is simply to keep going. Writing is a muscle, and it takes repetition, practice, reflection, etc. to find your style and get better. I came back to writing in 2020, and it took writing consistently since then for me to be where I am now of feeling like my writing's where I want it to be and feeling confident about bigger pieces.

On the direction of your story and your plot, know that this is such a common dilemma for writers!! And honestly, the advice out there varies a lot depending on if you're more of a pantser (make it up as you go) or plotter (plot it all out first). I'm somewhere in the middle. I plot a decent amount, but sometimes it's only in broad strokes, so I leave room for building out scenes intuitively as I write. I also get stuck all the time, and for me, I know that means that something's not working — either I have to go back and change something in the prior paragraph/dialogue, or I have to take the scene in a new direction, or I have to figure out a different way to bridge the gap between what happened and what I know I'm building toward.

At this point, my advice to you would be this: do some daydreaming. Go on Pinterest, browse Tumblr, go on a walk with a good playlist. Let your mind wander, mood board your fic, let all the vibes marinate. Whatever scene ideas pop into your head, write them. Write out of order (you can always massage things to fit chronologically later). Loosely figure out your ending, so you at least know where you need to end up — sometimes it's easier to work backwards when outlining the latter part of a fic. Use tropes and their conventional story beats as much or as little as is helpful to you.

Once you have that direction, my advice on "communicating" your plot and characters really boils down to the adage of "show don't tell." Which sounds so cliché, I know, but it really does work!! Think about the aspect of your plot or character you want to be coming across to the reader, and then brainstorm actions or scenes that could demonstrate that happening.

An example of when I was very conscientious of this is Castling. (Spoilers ahead!) The main plot is present day, but I wanted to build the emotion and pining and just the stakes overall by inserting past flashbacks, as opposed to just saying, Lily and James were best friends while growing up at school. So I came up with a handful of significant moments to show their friendship in action throughout their past. The second year scene sets it all up: Lily does not hesitate to confront James for Remus, demonstrating both her fierce + sassy personality and the depth of her friendship with Remus. The seventh year scenes show how everything's evolved: first there's the fight in the corridor, in which James steps in to shield Lily and punches Mulciber after an incident that escalated while they were brewing Amortentia in Potions, and then later that night Lily finds out James got broken up with. I never had to say that they were starting to subliminally have feelings/attraction toward each other — we pick up on that based on what happens: James doesn't just defend Lily out of basic nobility; he's "a caged bull in Sirius's arms" in the immediate aftermath of Amortentia 👀, which is the breaking point for his girlfriend. James picks Lily's friendship in his girlfriend's ultimatum without second thought. And they don't hug. It's not a sibling-like consolation because there's an undercurrent of tension that's decidedly not sibling-like anymore — they're just in total denial about it. And then finally there's the post-school scene, in which they're more comfortable around each other in part because they're simply more mature and have figured out how to care about each other without crossing the boundary of friendship (yet).

Something I tell myself a lot when it comes to figuring out plot and "showing" the reader is plot can be small. I'm constantly saying this to myself. And what I mean by that is, "plot" doesn't have to be some sweeping, complicated thing. Of course some stories go that way and longer stories often necessitate more complex narratives, but there can be just as much plot in "discovering feelings for each other" (As Lovers Go) as there is in "planning a complicated mission that goes awry because of a secret double-agent" (Vindicated). It's simply a matter of going more deeply into smaller details and the emotional trajectories of the story. So "plot can be small" doesn't mean the plot itself is "smaller" or "lesser," it means that plot can be based in small actions that are incredibly important or meaningful to the characters, and the story then teases out all the little details surrounding those small actions.

And finally, the last thing I'll say (this already getting way too long 😅) is that plot and character development are both very layered things. The Castling corridor fight initially was just a corridor fight — the idea for adding the Amortentia element came later, and the idea for connecting the fight with the ultimatum and the breakup came even later after that. Don't put pressure on yourself to figure things out entirely the very first time you write something down!! Ideas build on each other as you keep writing. You'll add layers that make scenes better. And the layers of the story and the characters will keep building throughout the story. This is where dimension comes from. We don't need to know everything about a character right away — let the layers peel back as the story goes on.

If you're still reading: I hope this can help!! Best of luck with your writing!! 💗

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Be Panda, Do Soft-Style

You know this guy?

I love this guy. Eh catches cannon balls and doesn't afraid of anything (it's an older meme, sir, but it checks out), except PTSD and low self-esteem. That's my Panda.

OK. So let's talk about negative emotions, pain, and crippling anxiety.

No! Ha-ha, well, okay, maybe a little.

Some of us like movies and TV because their sameness is comforting, they teach us valuable lessons, and they don't judge us if we have to go back and watch something again because we didn't understand - or just 'cos we like seeing it again, and we're having a parasocial relationship with everyone in it. And some of us need movies and TV for those same reasons. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less, but real-life people aren't going to be patient enough to help us learn the hard stuff, and we know that, so we stick with movies and TV. Society tends to label people like that, people like me, as autistic. Not always, but it's getting better at catching and labelling the behaviour.

So when I need help with a big concept, something super hard, I go running to movies, TV, and stories or metaphors of all kinds. That's the easiest way for me to learn and understand, but most of us like learning that way. At least a little.

So, let's talk about my Panda pal's kung fu.

Po fights dragon style, which is a soft style. Soft styles are more about seeing where the energy is coming from and redirecting it. Tigress, who is hard-style to her core, will punch a brick wall until she busts right through it. Po will just go, "Hey, there's a door! You guys? Door over here!" walk through, and maybe poke his head back out and ask, "You need anything while I'm in here? Okay. Cool." Soft style requires you to slow down enough, and be smart and patient enough, to find that door.

All kung fu is valid!

(I love you, Tigress! You can punch me anytime!)

But not all kung fu is appropriate for every situation. You punch through a cannonball, it explodes, and you get very badly injured or die.

I see a lot of stuff on Tumblr about people trying to punch through their pain, anxiety, and negative feelings. I don't like you, anxiety. I don't like you, depression. I don't need you. You're not real. You're a little bitch. I will defeat you. I will get better and better at defeating you, and you will go away FOREVER! DIEEEE!

It's my first instinct too! I don't want these things, they are hurting me, I want them to go away. If I were strong, I could just break through. Normal people break through these things like they're nothing (*bing!* I've just added another layer of wall, "I'm broken, I'm weak," to what I've already been failing to punch through). If I just keep pushing (adding more layers to the wall every time my punch fails to defeat it) I will get stronger, and better, and I will feel nothing!

"Is that what you want?" Oogway might say to Shifu, his student who insists on learning (and teaching) everything the hard way. "To feel nothing? That sounds rather sad to me."

"No! I want to get rid of these bad feelings so I can make good ones! I want to feel happy, and loved, and secure! I want self-confidence!"

"My poor friend is still holding a peach," the turtle might say, "and trying to force it to become an apple. And then, when he has done the impossible, he thinks he may deserve self-confidence."

"I can throw this peach at the wall, and destroy it, and go find an apple!"

The turtle laughs. "Then you will have made quite a mess! And when you return with your apple, you may find the peach pit you have abandoned has grown into another tree, with many more peaches for you to throw. But perhaps there is a better way." And he would pick a peach, and eat it, like turtles do, slowly, but without mercy, until it's all gone, even the pit, and walk away. "It was not bad, a little bitter. I think next, I will eat a dumpling."

My boi can catch a cannonball because he doesn't go after it hard-style. He takes it head-on, holds it in his furry little arms, and redirects it. He's not super great at getting it where he wants it to go, not at first, and it does set him on fire, but he's still alive!

"You know, this doesn't feel great, but dealing with your trauma and post-traumatic stress is a process! My fist hungers... for self-care! Ow!"

He does, eventually, get better at it (quickly, because we only have about 90 minutes to tell this story) and not every hit lands, but when one does, he holds it for a second, aims, and lets go. He does not punch, he does not try to stop that sucker cold, he holds it, deals with it, and lets it go. And once he figures out what he's doing, it doesn't hurt so bad anymore. He has fun. Po's not the Fun Police, if he's having fun, he accepts that too. Yep, okay, this could kill me, but it looks so cool! Let's have fun while it lasts! Ladies, gentlemen and others, I present: soft style.

Even if your brain behaves itself perfectly, in your life, you are gonna hit walls. Some of 'em won't slow you down. But when one does, the first thing you gotta do is acknowledge the fact that there is a WALL here. I know you don't want the wall, but there it is. It doesn't matter whether it belongs there, you don't have to justify it. Insulting it and interrogating it won't make it not be there. That irritating AOL voice yelling "You've got wall!" will not go away until you acknowledge receipt of your wall. Okay. I've got wall. I don't have to like it, but here it is. It is here.

(This is what they mean when they say "your emotions are valid," they're just insecure and trying to sound professional.)

Now what?

(OK, but assuming we don't have a flame-proof cartoon butt and a destiny.)

First: Don't punch the wall. Ah-ah-ah! Back up! How hard could it be to not do something? you think. This'll be easy! It's incredibly hard to comply with a negative. Don't read this. Yeah. Now don't think of a solid white zebra. ... ... ... Yeah. Ka-POW! Ouch! Why does that hurt? I'd better punch it again and figure it out!

Stop. Redirect. Since we're using a wall metaphor here, you gotta go sideways. (Indeed, given enough time, all things shall become crab.) If there were a door right in front of your face, you'd see it. Forwards is not an option right now. Be a good little crustacean and pick a new direction. This is also how one extricates one's self from a riptide - people die because it's counterintuitive. You want to be back on the beach, why would you swim towards more ocean? Attacking the obstacle at its strongest point will not get you where you wanna go any faster than looking for a way around. In fact, sometimes, it won't get you there at all.

Are you still, intermittently, thinking of a solid white zebra? Like, what would that even look like? How would I know it's not just a white horse? Well, if you weren't before you are now. OK. So every time that zebra comes back, think of a solid white peacock with a tragic backstory.

(I know he's not solid white, I'm just being silly. Forgive me.)

If you take a step towards the sexy (but still extremely evil and genocidal) peacock, you are moving sideways. If you keep it up, you'll get a little distance, a little perspective, and when you have enough room to stop banging your head like a stubborn moth, maybe you'll be able to see a door in the wall... Or some convenient fireworks, who knows? Maybe you do have a destiny. Then, you'll be able to go through.

...Though it may be a squeeze, and you might not end up exactly where you thought you wanted to go.

(Oh, no, stairs!)

Or maybe you'll end up someplace even better and more surprising.

"You just wanted to see the tournament? Well, now you're the Dragon Warrior. Have fun with that."

But, again, this is a skill that takes practice. Every time you manage to stop or head sideways instead of banging into the wall is a victory. Eventually, you will get better at it.

I mean, you know, I've heard.

(This is me. I wanna be Po, but it's just my nature to fight hard and make everything harder. Maybe one of these days I'll accept that, and stop fighting my nature and making it harder, but I wouldn't bet on it.)

Doctors and mental health professionals will tell you, most pain is anxiety. Part of that is the simple physical fact that when you tense up and struggle, it hurts more. Some things can be fought hard style, and some things can't. Slow down, take your time, feel the flow - and then you can decide whether to go with it, go against it, or go around.

For example, I was having serious anxiety because, right when I got up, a lot of things were going wrong, and needed attention, and I couldn't fix them all, or even one. So I let someone I trust give me a little help, and I wrote a little mental health article with my friend, the Panda. Maybe I'll find a way to go forward in a little while, or maybe not yet, but I already feel a little better.

(Even this guy smiles once in a blue moon.)

Thanks to the Kung Fu Panda Wiki for hosting most of the images I needed. And if you "like" this content, reblog it 'cos I'm trying to get known around here. That goes for just about everyone else, too.

[fayestardust]

Miscellaneous Tag game

Tagged by bestie @almost-a-class-act

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

Probably California, because accessibility is so great there. I actually loved LA, but I would guess I wouldn't like it so much if I had to live there. It's the visiting that is cool.

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

Honestly, for still being here? I know that seems like a dark thing to say, and it kind of is, but I've been through a lot of shit, and life continues to be hard. So I'm proud that I'm trudging through it.

On a more recent scale, I am really proud of myself for walking through the Bois Jacques and Trou de Loup forest the other day with my BoB family. It was the most I've walked in probably the last ten years and while I was completely out of breath, it felt great to have done it.

Favorite books?

I don't know anymore. Maybe the Housekeeper and the Professor. But recently, Wool by Hugh Howey.

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

The last time @almost-a-class-act came to visit, and also any of my BoB trips. Something about found family. Squeee.

Favorite thing about your culture?

Probably that we pull no punches. And I'm not sure if it's part of our culture but growing up, everyone was always welcome in our house. To stay for dinner, to sleep over, just about anything. I love that I was taught that.

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

Band of Brothers way back when it came out when I was in high school. Our history teacher was cool like that. Then I watched it with my dad (now 84) and I got into the Pacific slightly after it came out. Fun fact is that I initially did not like it. Too violent and a bit scattered, I thought, but now I like it about just as much as Band. Covid launched me back into the series harder than ever before, and I watched both plenty of times with @almost-a-class-act. Then the whole art thing started and the rest is history.

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

I've read Band of Brothers, Easy Company Soldier and Parachute Infantry. Easy Company Soldier is my favourite out of those. I've also read Bob Leckie's book Helmet for My Pillow, which might be better.

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

I can't pick a favourite, it changes all the time. My favourite scene is Doc and Babe in their foxhole, though.

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

I make art and, on rare occasions, write fic and sometimes poetry. Not enough, though.

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

Andrew Garfield can do no wrong. Give me him in just about anything. Under the Banner of Heaven was impactful. Reminds me that I have to finish watching Silence. I started watching it over Christmas with my family, but we decided it was too heavy for Christmas. Paul Mescal has been one of my recent faves.

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

I have one but my brain is broken and I can't think of it right now.

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

Hm, maybe I used to sing a lot and once recorded an album. Or that I wasn't always in a wheelchair.

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

Yes, but I have @almost-a-class-act. She never lets me down.

Three things that make you smile?

My cats. My signed art. My camera (nerd!)

Any nicknames you like?

Faye, K-Maart (begrudgingly)

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

@mutantmanifesto @almost-a-class-act @derry-rain @cody-helix02 And loads of you who I just don't remember because my brain is overloaded.

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Die.

Favorite movie?

I don't know, don't make me pick.

Do you like horror movies?

I do not. Though I guess it kind of depends on how suspenseful they are and if they have jumpscares.

Tagging: @derry-rain @mutantmanifesto @cody-helix02 @wordsluts

[piggyette]

i treat ask games like surveys this is make me admit stuff by lost-head-adventure or smth idk its deactiviated

Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

not including messages i consider too private to share on tumblr. yes

You talked to an ex today, correct?

nope.

Have you taken someones virginity?

no i dont think so. all of my partners have been more experienced than me

Is trust a big issue for you?

yes ): im working on it

Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

i like lots of people but as far as "crushes", no not recently. i should though

What are you excited for?

my partner system to get home from work. our next grocery run. autumn. my birthday next month

What happened tonight?

i posted about that today but, other than all that, i ate some pizza... honestly i should write or record or something tonight

Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

no? wasted chicks are super funny

Is confidence cute?

confidence is hot yeah

What is the last beverage you had?

a monster. i should get water or something

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

none but i dont really talk to a lot of people. only the women in my family and i cant trust them. its not about being the opposite sex tho

Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

yes

What are you gonna do Saturday night?

its sunday rn but yesterday i cried so hard i gave myself a headache and listened to a new album

What are you going to spend money on next?

probably a new microphone or sushi

Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

yes

Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

yes? of course

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my partner system, but specifically mar, rich, robin, and trent

The last time you felt broken?

today at like 7pm

Have you had sex today?

yeah lol <3

Are you starting to realize anything?

being 23 aint shit. i dont know fuckin anything.

Are you in a good mood?

its alright. could be better

Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

yeah theyre chill

Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

no thank gawd. otherwise id be the type of douchebag to go around calling my shit hazel.

What do you want right this second?

a haircut... jack... a punch to the jaw. (not sft text beyond this point to the end of the answer) to be dressed up in vinyl lingerie to match someone elses military gear and ride his dick while gagging on his fingers

What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

nothing. id end up in jail

Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

nah i recently dyed my roots again. its black but im a natural blonde

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

usually people who arent intentionally witty are unintentionally hilarious so thats hard to picture. but if our humor just isnt compatible i mean. maybe. probably not tho that speaks to a lot of other shit

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

@fuckin-pistol-whipped's replies

Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yeah. sunset eyes, if this somehow gets back to you, im sorry i didnt give you a better warning. ill be back sooner than you know. it wont be months this time. i want to figure something out but i dont want to keep giving you half promises. soon, i dont know when. i love you. it means something, i swear.

Does everyone deserve a second chance?

yeah id say so

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

sometimes <3

Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

oh yeah for sure. i think we're in a situationship. maybe we're dating? idk i cant rember. god i need to see him again soon. i should watch some videos or smth

Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

nah but i usually drink diet soda. if im buying it out at like a gas station or smth ill go full sugar cuz its just a one time thing but. i think i drink two diet cokes a day. i dont always finish em

Listening to?

+ shuffle queue

Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

yeah but i prefer pen tbh. i keep like two hand notebooks a pencil and a pen on me at all times

Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

probably at his house with his cats. or with his band

Do you believe in love at first sight?

i believe in instant chemistry but love is kinda something u collaborate on. its like a living thing. ive recently figured out that two people can be in love and still wanna maim each other a little bit from time to time

Who did you last call?

@fadenkreuze but thats like a given. it was @antichristxsuperstar in front

Who was the last person you danced with?

my cat. it counts, in my book

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

we were having sex and i guess my mouth just looked that good hanging open and drooling

When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

i dont think its been a year but. it was probably springtime i wanna say-- no, late winter. valentines day cupcakes. mini ones.

Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

nah im not a hugger. he knows i like him ok tho

Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

i dont believe in embarassment. but yea sometimes i make a fool of myself. usually it makes em giggle and then its fine <3

Do you tan in the nude?

i do a lot of things in the nude but i dont tan. im goth so

If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

i dont remember it

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

yes actually it was rich. hey rich

Who was the last person to call you?

Do you sing in the shower?

yes sometimes but i sing all the time

Do you dance in the car?

Ever used a bow and arrow?

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Do you think musicals are cheesy?

no theyre an art form. i think A musical can be cheesy but not all of em. having said that ive never been a huge theater person but ill watch a bootleg every now and then

Is Christmas stressful?

it doesnt have to be but some people make it stressful. its lonely tbh

Ever eat a pierogi?

yep. theyre p good

Favorite type of fruit pie?

peach

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

equestrian, veternarian, rockstar.

Do you believe in ghosts?

"do you believe in barometric pressure" "do you believe in wool fibers" "do you believe in the oxidation of metals"

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

all the time

Take a vitamin daily?

Wear slippers?

yes and i encourage others to do so as well

Wear a bath robe?

nope too warm and humid where i am

What do you wear to bed?

the buff

First concert?

it was a festival for nu metal bands in like 2008 or something. metalfest i think it was? or something close to that name. i dont remember all the acts that played but mudvayne was there i know for sure

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

in my town theres only a walmart but i prefer target

Nike or Adidas?

Cheetos Or Fritos?

fritos are more versatile. remind me of chilis and soups

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Ever take dance lessons?

Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

yeah. professional cocksucker

Can you curl your tongue?

some people cant do that?

Ever won a spelling bee?

this is a traumatizing memory for me i refuse to elaborate

Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yes often. usually during sex

What is your favorite book?

i hate these questions cuz then i forget every single book ive ever read. idk ill say the most recent book i read. the long hard road out of hell by marilyn manson

Do you study better with or without music?

with but it has to be instrumental or so loud its mind numbing owwww speaking of my ear fuckin hurts fuck you billy corgan

Regularly burn incense?

not anymore

Ever been in love?

Who would you like to see in concert?

obvious answers are like. mm. nin. slipknot (but like in 2002 or smth).

What was the last concert you saw?

in person? i dont even remember. its been over a decade

Hot tea or cold tea?

cold tea always preferable

Tea or coffee?

coffee. also cold

Favorite type of cookie?

sugar cookie or chocolate chip

Can you swim well?

nah

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes??

Are you patient?

extraordinarily

DJ or band, at a wedding?

either or. both? both

Ever won a contest?

nope

Ever have plastic surgery?

nah

Which are better black or green olives?

ew

Opinions on sex before marriage?

theres another type of sex?

Best room for a fireplace?

the den

Do you want to get married?

yes

[cranberrytea451]

@fluffychubbydragon

Okay, so this one is dark. I think I've mentioned before that I usually write horror/drama, I tried to scale back on it for this because idk how id feel about dropping the stuff I usually write on my undertale sans Tumblr.

So ⚠️ warning for abuse, suffocation, implied suicidal thoughts... you know... bad stuff. it's Nightmare sans what do you want from me?

Also, Nightmare's voice sounds like Pinhead, cause I said so.

You'd been having nightmares. Not that it wasn't expected, your waking life was a nightmare of itself. Perhaps even more frightening than the apparitions haunting your sleeping mind.

You applied ice to the diarrhea colored bruise smoothed over your jaw. Hacking out the blood filling in your mouth and counting your teeth with a bitten tongue.

The bathroom mirror reflected your face. It would even make a demon wince in pity.

Your empty stomach churned, you'd vomit if you had anything in it.

The evidence of your uneasy sleep was marked clearly under your eyes, with the skin bunched up like a caterpillar squirming to burst from its cocoon.

The interview you had tomorrow was a bust when you walked in looking like this. You needed that job. You couldn't escape without it. You had no money, no friends, and no family left that would take you in. All you had was–

"Here."

Your significant other dabbed red spit glistening from your chin.

Anger swelled up inside you, begging to pop like a zit gored with pus. Instinctively, you wanted to wrap your hand around their neck; rationally, you knew they beat you to the punch.

You had cared for them once. In the beginning, perhaps, when you were dumb and them dumber. Believing you could fix someone who decided to be broken. While you had brought no tools to fix them, they had brought plenty to dismantle you.

It wasn't awful all the time, that was the worst part, because in the moments when they made you dinner, played your favorite song, swept you off your feet in an inharmonious dance, you pretended you ever were in love.

These moments, hazy as dreams, never lasted.

One misstep, and wham.

Ice pack to the face, busted lip, aching ribs.

No wonder your nightmares were clearer than your waking life.

You managed not to flinch as they applied Neosporin to your cut lip.

"I'm tired," you spoke against the grain of your throat.

Your significant other let out a mirthless laugh, and you resisted the urge to gouge out their tongue. "I guess dinner is canceled tonight?"

You don't remember if you responded. 

Everything was black. Your limbs were heavy like you were treading water, and your mouth was dry like you had swallowed an ocean wave.

Oh. This nightmare again.

There was a comforting nature to the numb nothingness.

The pressure crushing your body was more akin to a weighted blanket than a boulder flattening your lungs to paper. You could almost pretend you were dead.

You cried. The tears tasted like razor blades.

Something cold and slimy, the consistency of a slug, wiped the tears dribbling from your eyelashes.

"What a vile thing tears are. A waste of woes."

The voice ventilated out of the darkness.

No. It was the darkness.

An eye glowing a sickly turquoise bloomed before you. If you had the strength, a gasp would have left your heavy lungs.

It spoke again, deep and monotone.  "Do I not frighten you?"

"Maybe if I knew what you were," you wheezed.

A horrible sound, like metal scrapping against concrete, ricocheted in your ears. Was that the creature's laugh?

A skeletal face emerged from the blackness. Tar dripped from where the other socket should be if it were a human skull.

"Most souls," it spoke the word with a deep disgust, "are petrified of the unknown."

"This is a dream you can't hurt me."

"Don't be foolish," another slimy mass circled around your neck, "I am not a dream."

A chill trickled down your spine as two hands materialized and cradled your face. "I am a nightmare. And I am starving for your hell."

Its unnatural grin grew and stretched like a Cheshire cat.

The cold appendages stroked your face, absorbing the snot and tears surfing down. 

Despite the obvious threat, you leaned into the touch. It had been long since someone held you with any tenderness, even if said tenderness was a facade.

"Strange." The living rope around your neck tightened a fraction. "Where is your fear?"

You were now only half aware of the creature. Your brain imposing the visage of your significant other before you. Fuck them. Fuck this dream. Fuck this nightmare. This thing said it was hungry? What hell could it possible bring upon you which reality hadn't?

A small laugh bubbled up.

The words were plucked and picked from your brain like road kill, "I guess dinner is canceled tonight."

The creature seemed to freeze. Everywhere it touched was so cold it burned. It felt good against the bruise on your jaw.

"Ah."

The tentacles(?) slithered off of your neck.

"Hate." The skeleton creature slowly tucked your hair behind your ear. "You viper, I do wonder, will you strike them in their slumber?"

A sticky, boney finger forced your face toward its own. "Or do you crave a more intimate agony?"

Its eye glowed brighter, and tar sludged down its other socket like sewer water.

"I- uh… what?" Your brain really did conjure up the weirdest things when you dreamed.

The smile on its face fell slightly. "I don't like repeating myself."

An eerie silence followed. 

The creature was still. It watched you for an eternity, cataloging every irritated twitch of your body.

"So exquisitely empty."

The voice whispered like a lover in your ear. "Don't have such a limited imagination. There are far more excruciating ways to extinguish a soul than strangulation."

 You woke up.

[sansxfuckyou]

i've lost my ignorance, security, and pride

Summary: Copen never did consider a karma so cruel in his journals when he'd write about the potential of his justified path coming to bite him in the ass, nor does he truly believe it when it's so viciously forced into his face by none other than Nova

Warnings: unethical surgeries, verbal degradation, Nova has something going on, check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: *laughs nervously as I stare at the 2 ppl who like gunvolt on tumblr* so how do ya'll feel about toxic yaoi? cause I got toxic yaoi with a side of unethical surgeries and a title from a Nine Inch Nails song.

"You're such a swine," Nova purred, hand firmly gripping Copen's jaw, "A filthy, worthless, pig."

Copen snarled up at him, "You're one to talk, Adept."

"You're a broken record. Adept, Adept, Adept- it's your favorite word, right up there with justice," Nova said, smug grin slanting to a cruel smirk.

"I'll tear your very heart out in the name of God," Copen threatened, tried too at least. The paralytics holding him down made it very hard to come off half as threatening as he wanted to. He just had to grit his teeth and grimace as soft hands held his face and tainted his skin.

Nove gives a single chuckle, "I doubt you could so much as scratch me in your current state." He takes a step back from Copen who struggles to reach out and claw him open, tug him and punch him, do anything to hurt him in any way possible.

He can manage seething, "I'll sooner die than watch you ruin everything."

Nova claps twice and a row of soldiers file in, "Boys, take him down to the lab, I wish to impart a gift upon him."

Copen's eyes widen as the soliders encroach on him, hands gripping his arms and legs and holding him securely to the point it hurts. The crackling purple remains to hold his joints locked in place and muscles contracted so he can do nothing but breath and take it. When enough hands have him secured, Nova claps once more and they don't hoist him up. The purple Adept leans just enough that they're at eye level, he's grinning this sickly smile that makes Copen feel ill.

"What are you going to do to me?" The hunter questioned.

Nova reaches out to run a finger from Copen's ear too his chin and tilts up, "I'm going to make you despise your very existence."

Nova shoves aside Copen who fumbles for words and writhes to the best of his ability. He watches as the Adept turns his back as he's slowly carried away, dragged on the ground.

"I want him in heavy restraints when I arrive, and I want him awake while I do it."

Copen's blood runs cold as the words sink into his paralyzed body.

-/-/-/-

All Copen can do is stare at the ceiling even after the paralytics have come down, he knows the restraints are too strong for him to break. He's been stripped of his dignity and his pride and his armor, he can't manage much of a fight physically at this point. LED lights sear his eyes as they shine down on him mockingly from the ceiling, he can see the glint of scalpels, needles, and vials from the corner of his eye.

He hears the door open and tries to turn and see it but he awkwardly hits the brace clamped over his neck. It aches from the physical struggling he tried mere moments after being locked in. The struggling earned him nothing but mocking and laughing from useless foot soldiers.

"No need to worry, I have it under control. Thank you for dealing with the first part for me."

It's Nova, he sounds as calm and collected as ever. He steps in and the door slides shut. He shrugs off his regal coat and hangs it up on the door and trades for it an apron.

"You're gonna kill me down here, while I'm vulnerable," Copen declared as Nova washed his hands and hummed a tune.

"I would never," Nova said with a faux tone of offense, he steps over to Copen's restrained form and grabs a marker, "I have something far more sinister in mind."

"You're gonna cut me open? Harvest my organs and let me live out my remaining days without them sickly and frail?" Copen questioned as Nova brought the marker to pale flesh and ran dotted lines across Copen's chest.

"Don't give me ideas now," Nova said with a light laugh as he capped the marker.

Copen took a deep breath, "Than what it is it?"

"You're a smart boy, you'll figure it out," Nova chided as he grabbed the scalpel and pressed it against skin, "This may hurt."

He pressed down and it did hurt, it was a clean type of hurting though. A simple little slice down the front of his chest, from his clavicles to the base of his rib cage. He felt his breath hitch as the pain diffused, it was quick to return when fingers pressed into the slit of flesh. He bit his tongue instead of screaming, body spasming at the unprecedented intrusion.

Nova gave a hum, "Someone doesn't like being fingered. I guess I'll open you up a bit more before we get to penetration." He laughs at his own words and Copen just feels a wave of disgust wash over him at the fact Nova is comparing this to sex. Albeit, in a very subtle and twisted way, but it's a comparison regardless.

The scalpel comes down along two more dotted lines and with one quick motion his chest opens up. He feels extremely nauseated, like he'd vomit if he had anything in his stomach. He dry heaves despite gravity working against him, he convulses and wheezes as fingers prod at his inner muscles. Tracing over the bits on his ribs and tapping his beating heart and pinching at his clavicles.

There isn't the comforting discomfort of latex either, it's just skin on flesh. The taint of an Adept's touch is being ingrained into his being with every passing second of Nova exploring his body in a very unpleasant way. His finger nails dig into his palm into Nova forces them apart with bloody hands.

"Don't hurt yourself, you don't even have reason to hate yourself yet," Nova said in a tone far too soothing for a man so sinister and cruel, but it worked. Copen relaxed, he let his body go as limp as possible because as much as he wants to defy, he knows he can't win this one. Nova grins, "You'll have plenty of reasons to hate yourself soon enough."

A needle is held high, a clear fluid fills it, and then it's plunged into Copen. Close to his heart, but not quite, narrowly missing the most vital of his organs. The glass tube rests nestled against his lung as the fluid is deposited into his body. His breathing starts to slow all the while and the prodding sensation of Nova's fingers inside of him.

Anesthetic, how kind.

Three needles are held this time, red, green, and blue. There's hesitation on Nova's face as he lays them atop Copen's rib cage and contemplates. He grabs red first, "You know, you'll be the first to have three Septima's implanted in your body."

Copen starts struggling again, "You're turning me into an Adept!?"

"I thought that was clear," Nova said smugly as he snapped his fingers, bright purple crackling across Copen once more to paralyze him. He lets a finger, dripping with blood, hover over Copen's lips. The taste of ichor rests heavy on Copen's tongue and he squirms as best he can, the terrible taste of his own blood making him feel ill. Nova smirks a bit, "Now hold still, I don't want to kill you during this process. Although, three at once may kill you in the long run."

As the first of three needles puncture his heart he passes out with a gut wrenching scream that makes even Nova feel nauseated. A rending pain running through every single vein in his body as a Septima is implanted in him. He sees Nova's smug face and a wave goodbye as he fades out of consciousness.

-/-/-/-

When he awakes he finds himself in a hospital bed with stitches running up his front and a crusty sensation coagulating near them. It makes him feel ill, even more when he hears them crackle as he sits up. A sharp sting pierces him and he tries not to hiss as a bare hand clutches at his clothed chest. He's wearing one of those hospital gowns, but the blood and puss and Septimal residue soak into it in the shape of his cuts.

"I wouldn't be moving for a while if I were you," Nova said calmly from where he stood leaning in the doorway, dressed to the nines in his usual outfit. He has a bouquet of flowers in one hand with a gaudy 'get well soon!' card attached, it makes Copen cringe.

"If it'll kill me then I'll make a point of it," Copen snarled as Nova stepped in and ever closer.

Nova chuckled lightly, "You idiot," He doesn't use anything innately insulting which is odd, he's dropped his smug I'm better than you aura. He takes a seat on the foot of Copen's bed, "You're stuck in here now, we won't let you die."

"What do you mean I'm stuck in here?" Copen asked.

Nova was so bold as to reach out and trace along the front of Copen's hospital gown, he smiled the entire time. He pressed just above the heart and Copen winced, "You're stuck with Sumeragi, your Septima's are prone to malfunctioning. They're unstable unless you're here with our technology monitoring you to keep you alive."

Copen goes wide-eyed, "What?"

"You have to stay with Sumeragi, attach yourself to a Glaive, and hope that we'll trust you to use your Septima in taking down QUILL." Nova crawls a little further up Copen's hospital bed, "That or you go out there and wait for the inevitably of a premature death."

"So I have to sit here at your beck and call like a dog or die?"

"You're a smart one, a bit slow, but smart."

If he wasn't already nauseated with how close Nova is too him at the moment he'd feel like vomiting. He goes pale he knows that much and he swears his head starts to spin.

"So," Nova begins, reaching out to touch Copen's face and now there's no divide between them. They've become equally low, Copen's been lowered forcibly to become the same dirt all Adept's are. "What'll it be?"

Copen can't answer, he just tries to look away.

Nova wrenches him back into eye contact, "Did you not hear me, filth?"

"I'll take the Glaive." He submits but he doesn't want too, he submits because he knows he'll find out how to break the leash when he can escape. Until then he'd like to stay alive long enough to shoot down the likes of Gunvolt and the rest of QUILL, even if it means working for Sumeragi.

Nova grins as he pushes himself back, "I'll get it fashioned right away, I'll make sure your armor is reminiscent of what you wore when you tried to defile my name."