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ktgoodmorning · 2 days

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Sleepy

Claudia Pina x reader

every time you're around Claudia, you end up falling asleep on her.

Just lots of soft and fluffy :)

Masterlist

You had only been dating Claudia for a short while, but there was something about her that made you the most comfortable you had ever been. Every time you were with her, you immediately let your guard down and finally allowed yourself to relax. It wasn’t even a conscious reaction, just something that happened, not even realizing the little habit you had fallen into until the rest of the team started to notice.

…

It was only a few minutes into the movie when your head leaned to rest on your girlfriend’s shoulder. You were having a movie night with a few of your closer teammates when you started to drift off. At this point, everyone else had noticed the way the two of you were constantly falling asleep every time you sat down together, but the two of you still hadn’t picked up on it. All you knew was that you loved snuggling up with your girlfriend and if that led to a short nap, then so be it.

“Well Pina, at least we know that if football doesn’t work out you could always get a job as someone’s pillow,” Patri giggled at her best friend as she was only met with Pina’s furrowed eyebrows in return.

“What are you talking about?”

This time Vicky took the chance to explain it as Patri was still proud of herself for her joke and laughing too much to do it herself. “She’s literally always sleeping on you every time you get the chance, and half the time you’re asleep too!”

Even though it was all in good fun, your girlfriend got someone defensive at all her friend’s jokes and only pulled you in tighter against her side, grumbling to herself in Spanish as she did so. When your friends noticed her immediate change in mood, they quickly tried to defend themselves from her wrath that they knew she could unleash on them if she thought they were being mean to you. “Hey, it’s not a bad thing, we’re just having fun, Clau.” Patri raised her hands as if to surrender while you continued sleeping next to her.

“Well she’s my girlfriend so sorry if I don’t like it when you talk about her like that.” she continued grumbling in an attempt to avoid snapping at them and waking you up in the progress.

“Pina, seriously. We’re not trying to be mean. It’s cute, okay? You two are just always snuggled up together, it’s sweet.” Patri gave her a look that made it clear how sincere she was being, a look that only her best friend understood. She was genuinely excited for Pina to finally be in a happy relationship that clearly put her at ease.

The brunette gave her best friend a nod as everyone turned back to the movie playing in front of you, letting her annoyance with her friends disappear when she looked at your face resting peacefully against her. The look on your face instantly put her at ease, causing her to rest her head against the top of yours to keep watching.

It had been her turn to pick the movie tonight, something that was a coveted honor within your group. Because of this, it should’ve been easy for her to pay attention and engage with it.

It should’ve been.

About ten minutes later, Claudia had joined you in your nap, much to the dismay of everyone else in the room as they whispered at each other. No matter how much they would tease you both, they still weren’t trying to wake you up.

“Are you kidding me, she was the one who wanted to watch this stupid movie?!” Vicky was the first to complain, as she typically was when she got the opportunity to tease you, but Jana was quick to defend you both.

“No, but you have to admit it’s kind of cute, the way they’re always falling asleep together. Pina never got a normal amount of sleep before she got with (y/n).”

“It’d be a lot cuter if it wasn’t during our movie nights! Especially when she’s the one who insisted on this!”

“Hey! Will you guys be quiet, you’re gonna wake them up!”

Cata rolled her eyes at the way Patri was sure to defend you, “They’re not gonna wake up, they slept the entire bus ride yesterday and it was only an hour. And that was with all of us yelling and dancing around the whole time, I don’t know how they do it.”

“Patri don’t you live right by here, why don’t we just go to your place and watch something there so they can keep sleeping?” Everyone seemed to be in agreement with Jana’s voice of reason and quietly made their way out, not before cleaning up some of their snacks and pausing the movie, knowing how badly Claudia wanted to see it, even if she fell asleep so soon into it. Patri sent you both a text to let you know where they went on the off chance one of you woke up, even if the odds were low.

…

Neither of you woke up until hours later when your backs started to hurt from the way you were balled up on the couch.

“Clau, what time is it?” Your voice was rough from sleep, only cracking your eyes open slightly, surprised to not see any of your friends left in her apartment.

The brunette only responded with a groan, adjusting herself slightly but still holding tight against you. Her lack of response made you decide to check yourself, digging in the couch cushions for your phone. “Baby, it’s almost eleven, everyone went to Patri’s when we fell asleep.”

“Don’t move, I’m comfy…” she mumbled into you, hardly coherent, only making you giggle against her.

“If we sleep like this any longer, we both know we’re gonna regret it in the morning. It’s late, we should get you to bed, and I should head home.” When you started to move off of her, she only pulled you back.

“Wait, don't get up… not yet. You can stay over, if you’d like?”

“I don’t want to interrupt your sleep, Clau. You need rest for training tomorrow.” You wanted nothing more than to stay over and sleep all night in your girlfriend’s arms, cuddled up in her blankets, breathing in her scent. However, the last thing you wanted to do was intrude, especially when you knew how little sleep the midfielder typically got.

She pushed herself to sit up, rubbing her eyes sleepily. “Don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to, but I sleep a lot better when you’re with me. You don’t need to worry about messing up my sleep,” she paused for a moment, unsure if she should bring it up. “And I think you feel the same, no? The girls were talking about it earlier when you first fell asleep.”

Her last statement left you confused. Why would your friends be discussing your sleep? Or your relationship? Claudia seemed to see the confusion on your face and took the opportunity to continue on. “They were talking about how we’re always falling asleep on each other and I guess I didn’t realize it until they said it but they’re kinda right. Everytime I’m with you I’m just so comfortable and relaxed that it puts me straight to sleep and I think you do too.”

The second she said it, you thought back to all the times you used your girlfriend as a pillow. Every flight you took, you’d pass out on her shoulder before the plane even took off. The number of bus rides the two of you would curl up together, instantly tuning out all your friends being loud around you. There were a few times where one of you fell asleep in the passenger seat, holding hands as the other drove. Or on the beach, in the midst of sunbathing, pinkies linked together so you could be together without messing up your tans. You couldn’t even count the number of movies you missed, sometimes alone with Claudia, sometimes with all your friends around, annoyed that you were missing it. Anytime you were laying on the couch reading, if she sat down to join you, you’d instantly pass out next to her. There were a couple times she even fell asleep against you when you sat next to each other in the locker room after a long day of training (that one always earned you lots of teasing). She would sit down next to you in front of your locker, throw her head on a shoulder with a long sigh, and instantly fall asleep.

But nothing was better than when you got to spend an entire night together. Nothing felt more at home to you then being engulfed in Claudia’s arms, getting the best sleep of your life. You would always be sharing some form of physical contact while she muttered soft words of love to you.

“I love the way your hand fits in mine.” That was for when you were both too warm to be cuddled up close and were only connected by your hands interlocked between you.

Or when her head was nuzzled into the crook of your neck and she would always mumble into your skin, “You smell so good, mi amor.” Usually when she did that, it’d leave you in a fit of giggles from the way her nose tickled against your skin.

You loved when she woke up next to you and you got to tease her for the way her long hair was all over, usually in your face as well as her own. No matter how much you’d tease her for her messy hair, she’d just mumble, half asleep, “I love when your voice is the first thing I hear when I wake up.”

Anytime you had to wake her up, you loved the way her face scrunched up and her eyebrows furrowed, only holding onto you even tighter, not wanting to leave your little bubble of peace.

You didn’t even realize that she was equally as obsessed with your time sleeping together until she said it. There was nothing Claudia cherished more than when she’d be tracing soft patterns through your hair and ask you, “do you like that?” And you always responded with “I like everything you do, Clau.” and cuddled into her side further.

Thinking about all your naps together brought a small smile to your face. You hadn’t realized it until she said it, but she was absolutely right. Being in her presence brought you a level of comfort that you rarely experienced. Of course it put you to sleep; it was the only time you weren’t stressing about everything else going on in your life. The second you were with her, your mind was put completely at ease and all your problems melted away. It wasn’t that you were just so sleep deprived you couldn’t stay awake, it was just that you were completely at peace with everything when you were together.

…

“Amor, will you please stay over?” When you snapped out of your thoughts, Claudia was looking at you with puppy dog eyes and sticking her bottom lip out at you, a face she knew you had a hard time saying no to.

“You know I would have said yes even without the face?” her pout broke into a smile at your answer.

“I needed the face to make sure of it! That’s the money maker here, amor.” All you could do was roll your eyes and shake your head at her as she pulled you up to lead you into her room. If the puppy dog eyes were all it took to get you to spend the night with her, she’d be using them even more often, because she couldn’t have been more excited to continue your habit of passing out in each other’s arms.

Can we tell how much I love naps? Always looking for requests!

Masterlist

#claudia pina #claudia pina imagine #claudia pina x reader #barcelona femeni #woso imagines #woso one shot #woso x reader #fcb femini #espwnt #wosoreading24/7 #wosoreadingclaudia

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flor4de4amor · 3 days

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hockey!abby with the reader being her biggest fan prompt 🫣🫣

click for palestine | boycott tlou!!! | read b4 engaging w me

ok i changed the prompt up a little bit again, but i promisseeeee it's the last time!!!! (it's probably not but shh!!)

you’re almost at every single one of abby’s games. it’s always easy for her to spot you. you’re sectioned off in the front, in one of her old hoodies. at any free moment she has on the ice, abby skates by your section, blowing a kiss, that you eagerly pretend to catch.

but the key word is almost. this is one of the few games you’ve missed since you and abby have been going steady. even when she used to play college hockey, and you had a silly little crush on her, you’d do your best to show up at the games. hiding somewhere in the back row of watchers, but still keeping an eye out for your favorite player.

your absence was definitely noted this game. abby had been missing shots, which was quite unusual for her. her teammates teasing her, asking if she needed her good luck charm. to which her answer is yes. a resounding, bolded, large, all caps, yes.

who was she gonna blow kisses to? who was gonna come rub her back in the locker room after the game? williams better not try it. abby’ll bite her head off, and you’ll never hear the last of it. abby can’t remember the last time she’s played without you watching. you’re her favorite trophy to show off. all pretty, with a wide smile, and gorgeous for her to brandish for anyone who’ll listen.

the game is rough, for a lack of better words. the team loses,by a lot. too much for abby’s liking. she drives home, her fist pounding her steering wheel. occasionally at a red light while releasing anger onto the battered wheel, she hits the horn. stirring her from the storm of anger, and causing a cluster of horns following hers. the cars are speaking for their agitated drivers. abby sighs as she pulls into your shared driveway. the last thing she wants to hear you say is that you watched the game.

she sees your blurred frame on the couch through the window film of the front door. she sees you jolt up as her keys jingle through the hole, unlocking the door. you sit up drowsily, your nose agitated as you’ve been blowing it through the better half of the week. flu season had captured you as it’s latest victim.

“i saw the game baby,” you say with a raspy throat and nasally voice. abby sighs, and allows her head to hang to the floor. she should’ve known better paying for the extra hulu subscription. of course you’d use it. she’s mentally kicking herself. “you played really good baby,” you tell her sitting half up wrapped up in your favorite blanket.

she snorts, “sure,” she replies sarcastically.

“i’d kiss you better but i’m so sick right now, lovie.” you blow her a ton of kisses with your hands, though your dominant limb clutches an array of crumpled tissues.

she catches them, pulling them to her heart. “you miss one game and you’re stealing all my moves?” she raises her eyebrow at you.

you toss your hand at her dismissively. “i’m allowed,” you say with a playful closed lip smile.

“one kiss won’t hurt me,” abby rolls her eyes. pressing a soft one on your forehead, and another to the corner of your mouth. “i’ve built up my immune system,” she tells you offhandedly. “ate dirt when i was a kid,” she laughs to herself. bullshit, but, whatever. “so you saw the game?” she fiddles with her thumbs, and avoids eye contact for a minute. when talking about her sport, this was when you’d catch abby at some of her most vulnerable.

“uhuh,” you tell her after catching a sneeze into the corner of your forearm. “‘scuse me,” you mumble.

“you’re ‘scused pretty,” abby replies while waiting for a further in depth answer than ‘uhuh.’

“you did such a good job baby,” you smile at her tiredly. “you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much. you really can’t win them all.”

“that’s insulting,” she smiles at you. “i definitely can. i just need my good luck charm.”

“i don’t do not a thing. it’s all you on the ice abs. don’t give me too much credit,” you say before having a slew of coughs.

“hey,” abby says putting a stern mask in her voice, “don’t pick on my favorite groupie now,” she burst out into laughter.

“i won’t make a habit of it, if you can make me some hot tea. my throat’s killing me.” abby nods her head, kissing your forehead once more and setting the kettle up. who was she to even deny her biggest fan, same one who stayed up late watching her girl’s game on her deathbed? abby’s mean, but not a monster.

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emmyrosee · 1 day

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Can we talk about how rintaro probably swallows your engagement ring by accident?

Honestly? Okay listen… Do you think he swallows it? I think he swallows it.

Because like okay. Rintaro puts a ton of planning behind everything he does, he wants to make your engagement this massive scene out of a movie because you’re out of a movie; you swooped into his life and showed him the path he wants to be on, the one that always leads back to you.

But like. Why would everything not crumble around him each and every time he tries to work up the courage to finally pop that four word phrase?

It was supposed to be simple. It was supposed to be easy.

An engagement ring, propped on some frosting on the center of the cake, ready for you to scoop up and slip on and give him an excited yes and the world would clap and he’d get a Nobel prize or something for such an extravagant proposal.

Except. That doesn’t happen.

The first bite Rintaro takes, he shovels in his mouth nervously, and there’s a massive shock to his teeth when they clank down hard on the ring on his cake.

How he didn’t notice? How the waiter messed them up? He blames it on the waiter.

Him swallowing the ring..? Yeah no. That’s got him written all over it.

His nerves just got the best of him and sends the large diamond down his throat, eyes bulging out as he realizes. He chokes briefly, grabbing his wine and gulping it down to wash the jewelry down.

Uh oh.

“Baby?” You ask. “Something wrong?”

“…nope.”

The rest of dinner is silent, you trying desperately to make conversation and his mind going insane trying to process what to do next.

Your engagement ring, the object that completely envelops your love in a physical sense is floating in the acids of his stomach, and who knows what the next step in the plan is.

He dreads it.

The car ride is complete silence, you occasionally clearing your throat or sighing to try and strike a conversation, but Rin’s mind is on a complete other planet, trying to make a map of his next move and how to get the ring 1.) out of his body and 2.) to you.

Is he really going to give you a ring he ate? He can’t. That’s vile. But he can’t spend the money on another one, even if it is more than worth it to spend it on you, and-

“Rin,” you whisper, touching his thigh. “You just blew a red light.”

“Damn- I’m sorry,” he apologizes.

“Don’t be sorry… is everything alright?”

“Just fine.”

“Are you mad at me?”

His foot slams hard, hard on the breaks, causing commotion behind him as the wailing of car horns fills the air. “God, baby, no, of course not!”

“Then why have you been so quiet?” You ask sadly.

“I can’t tell you.” Out of embarrassment and stupidity, he thinks to himself.

You leave it at that. You go quiet again, and when he makes a move to rest his hand on your thigh, you turn away, and his whole heart sinks.

The rest of the ride home drags on. There’s no more attempts of noise, no more sighs or clearing of throats, only the roar of the engine for a few more miles until you get home. He barely gets the chance to park the car before you’re out and storming up the driveway, clearly upset with the situation. He sighs and follows you in, and you’ve hiked up the stairs to the bathroom. He winces at the slam of the door, and he’s quick to call osamu for advice.

Advice that the twin gives him around countless gawfs of unhelpful, judgmental laughter.

He tells Rintaro to calm down and stop being weird towards you- take a spoonful of laxatives mixed in with water and let the body “process” for as long as it needs to. Get you a new ring, trash the old one and mourn the loss of money after you two get engaged.

He sighs and ends the call, making his way to the upstairs bathroom where he keeps the medicine. You brush past him in a towel, refusing to acknowledge him or his presence with so much as a “hmph.”

The shower he takes alone is cold, his mind is loud and his heart is pounding and his stomach queases for more than a few reasons. How could he have messed this up so badly? It was supposed to be cute! Just flashy enough for him to flaunt you, but simple enough to not be messed up.

Yet he messed it up.

Rintaro dries himself and makes his way into the bedroom, where you’re already burrowed under the covers on your side of the bed. He throws on some form of pajama before making his way downstairs to make his laxative drink.

One tablespoon of laxative mixed with water, allow body to process for one day before repeating, let all powder dissolve before drinking- he follows every single one of the thorough instructions completely, and he starts to drink the concoction with a scowl of disgust.

The hell is this made out of?

“What’re you still doing up?” You ask, and he swallows the last of the laxative with a wince.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he confesses. Then, he sighs and turns to face you, and your face tells him everything he needs to know.

You’re still upset.

“Listen,” he begins, carding a massive hand through his hair. “About tonight. It was absolutely nothing you did. It was my fault, and my annoyance and attitude had nothing to do with you.”

“Okay,” you sigh, but there’s an unconvinced lilt in your voice.

“I wanted this to be a perfect night, I wanted it to go so well-“

“Rinnie?”

“And I’m sorry, about my silence in the restaurant,” he sniffles, big hands pressing against his face and rubbing roughly. “The chef was supposed to put it on our cakes and his little rat waiter messed it up, and-“

“Put what on our cakes?”

“YOUR ENGAGEMENT RING!” He groans in complete agony. “Your ring! Fuck! I tried so hard to make the perfect proposal, and I just wanted it to be beautiful-“

“My… my ring?”

“Uh…. Yeah?”

“My engagement ring?”

Your bottom lip wobbles, and he feels like he’s going to upchuck every bit of food he’s ever eaten.

Though that may not be the worst thing at this point.

“You wanna marry me?” You wail, collapsing to your knees in excitement. He perks up slightly, slipping of his seat to join you on the floor.

“Of course I want to marry you,” he confesses. “God, I’ve… I’ve wanted to marry you for the past three years, I got the ring perfect four months ago.” He blinks out a line of tears to mimic yours, and you cup his cheeks in your trembling palms. “But every time I tried to propose, something went wrong, and I… I didn’t know how to do it anymore. I’m sorry baby…”

“Rintaro,” you say softly, chuckling around the your quivering voice. “I never needed a big proposal. Ever. All I ever want is for you to promise me we’ll be together. And that’s more than enough.”

His face softens before he lets a hand smack his face in obliviousness, disappointed in himself that he got so lost in trying to impress you that he almost didn’t.

“Put it on me!” You squeal, holding out your hand. He turns a scarlet red and looks away.

“I uh… I can’t.”

You deflate slightly, and he gives you an embarrassed smile. “Why not?” You whimper, emotionally fried from the rollercoaster he just put you on.

“I don’t have it.”

“What!”

“I mean, technically i do,” he says, gnawing his lip. “But I… uhm… I can’t give it to you yet. I uh… I need a few days. And… a few cleaners to look at it.” He gives you a shy chuckle and his toothy grin is mixed with frightened eyes, and your own widen. “The uhm… the ring was on the cake…”

Your hands clasp over your mouth, tears immediately drying and replacing with small, choked and stifled laughter.

“You didn’t,” you manage. He nods, uncomfortable. “Did… did you eat my ring, Rintaro?”

“It wasn’t my fault! Damn waiter gave us the wrong cakes!”

“AND YOU SWALLOWED IT?”

“I WAS NERVOUS, OKAY?”

“RINTARO!”

You two clutch each other on the cold kitchen floor as you laugh, heads knocking against each other as you steal kisses from between cackles.

“I’ve got an idea,” he says once you’ve both seemed to calm down, and he quickly pops on his feet to grab the bread on the counter. With the twist tie, he takes it off the bread and makes his way back to you. “Give me your hands.”

The tie only fits around the top part of your ring finger, and you sniffle softly at how silly and sweet this whole thing is.

“We’re gonna get married,” he says between an emotional wheeze. “And we’re going to grow old together, have our nine dogs and four cats.”

“No kids?”

“Ew gross.”

“Yeah, sure, as if you don’t bend to my every whim bro.” You shift slightly to rest your back against his chest, curling against his still sitting frame. “And our kids are going to love the Miyas-“

“Because you love the Miya’s. I have nothing to do with that.”

“As if Osamu’s not going to be your best man,” you scoff. He smirks and buries his face in your hair, listening to your words weave through his brain and calming him down from the disaster of a night.

Then, he hums, “you want to take my last name?” He asks, and you give him a small swat on the leg. “What! Im just asking!”

“Of course I’m going to take your last name,” you say, turning your head up to face him. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Yeah?” He asks breathlessly, tearing up again when you nod.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

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bengiyo · 2 days

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Wandee Goodday: They're Letting Men 69 Now

The third episode of Wandee Goodday opens with the leads engaged in mutual fellatio (commonly known as a 69), and I wanted to comment on how well I liked it being used here. I asked yesterday how many other instances we had of the position in prior shows, and got confirmation from @respectthepetty and @pharawee and others that as best we can recall right now only Destiny Seeker has shown or implied the position before. Because we are hundreds of shows deep into BL at this point, I wanted to follow up on my post about Patts Wanting to Blow Saengtai and talk about this scene a bit.

One of the things I generally have to just ignore in BL is the alarming lack of lubricant usage in the genre even more than the lack of condom usage. BL boys must have self-lubricating organs with the way this genre behaves around it. It also doesn’t match the expected velocity of m/m physical intimacy that I’m used to in my own experience and the stories told by my homies. In fairness, in the couple dozen m/m romance novels I’ve read, I can only recall one 69 scene (shoutout to Ginn Hale for Lord of the White Hell, Book 1) In my experience, guys are way more likely to touch each other’s dicks before they kiss each other (something else Wandee Goodday is doing that I like).

What makes this scene standout to me is that we ended the previous episode with the guys establishing the rules of their relationship, and Wandee telling Yoryak he wanted him to pay more attention to his dick during sex. I really love coming back to them literally giving each other head, having a good time doing it, and teasing each other about it. It’s important to me that gay sex in shows about gay characters look like it’s fun for the characters and not just as a completion of a big romantic moment. It’s also very cool that this show continues to tease and show the various ways men can have a good time with each other without all the effort that goes into preparing for anal sex.

However, I will tease about the propriety rules and the usage of a blanket for modesty purposes. I completely accept this compromise for the safety of the actors and broadcast rules, but I know that I am not hotboxing myself when I’m trying to focus.

That’s all I wanted to say. I’d love for the folks who saw Destiny Seeker to chime in again about the work that show did on the presentation of m/m intimacy in BL in light of the Wandee Goodday scene. Guys should suck dick more often in BL as a sufficient enough act for spontaneous sex without implying that somehow raw, unlubricated anal works in a bathroom.

#Ben writes #wandee goodday #wandee goodday the series #bl meta #thai bl

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yourplasticlittlespastic · 1 day

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E̴N̴T̴W̴I̴N̴E̴D̴ - Series - Part 6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x f/reader

Warnings: Context and then some well-deserved smut, filthy stuff wink wink

Notes: Sorry for not posting but I work F, S, and S 8hrs so here it is!Thank you all for reading, you truly make my day with the likes

WC: 5.6K

Suddenly a good selection of paintings inside the museum made perfect sense. The way the people in the paintings showed their physical affection, the way the sculptures were exceptionally objective with their sculpted fingers gripping legs and arms and oh-so-loving embraces. It made sense to you, after all this time. Erotism.

“The more you stare at it, the more you’ll raise suspicion”

You turned and looked at his tall figure, Benedict was quick to offer you his arm “Isn’t it the opposite?”

“Not quite. People who don’t understand it walk fast and prefer to admire fruit bowls than this” he pointed at the painting “but people who do get it… they admire” he sighed “after all. That’s what you do with art”

“And what if they knew I understand this?” You shrugged “It is like you said… are they going to make us marry? We have the leverage”

Benedict chuckled at your joke "You using the power game here is..." he sighed looking forward "Making me want to do this with you"

You eyed the sculpture of a naked man embracing a woman, his palm resting on top of her breast, the other one resting on her navel... resting? No, perhaps he was going southern to her-

"And still, even if you have a respectful air of confidence I still make you blush. Oh, Lady Danbury"

You blinked away, the blood all around your face being mentally pushed by you so you could face Lady Danbury and her soft yet harsh eyes if that makes any sense "Lady Danbury"

"You pair of doves" she smiled, "I thought you knew better than staring at these cultures far too long"

"I told you so" he whispered in your ear

"Well, Lady Danbury isn't this art to be admired?"

She ticked with her tongue, her cane softly touching your dress "If I didn't know, I would say you and Eloise are twins..." she then frowned looking at Benedict "Do not make fret about it"

"I'll make sure to ignore that"

"Now" she came closer, a hand resting on your back quite tightly "Ready for tomorrow?"

"Sure" you both replied

"I expected more enthusiasm from two people who clearly decided not to follow courtship rules"

"Since when you follow them neat and clear, Lady Danbury?" Benedict teased

"Since our Queen expressed to me that your underground engagement was not keen to her eyes"

"Underground?" Benedict's brows joined "Then what is tomorrow if not a public gathering about it?"

"Your intentions my dear artist were not clear and a man paid for it" She gave one nod "And you are not off the hook, Miss Ashbourne"

"Hmmmm, you sound like my Mama, Lady Danbury"

"And I can imagine what she said to you but at least I had to tell you... you know? Make sure that you know your thing as romantic as it is, it was seen as a surreptitious thing to do. Now, I'll go and you two move from this sculpture, the next thing we don't need is you two to reenact it!"

You saw her walking and how quickly a nobleman was ready to talk to Lady Danbury, you turned to Benedict who was pouting just so slightly.

"Did she just say surreptitious?"

"I don't know brother"

Benedict's face contorted and his eyes glinted with mischief "Oh, please do not. My ears are bleeding"

The day was merely a breeze, compared to the avalanche you believe tomorrow will be. Of course, everyone was invited, the Queen the exception because well... it is not like she helped the match to happen. You did that by yourself. When night became day you followed your morning, you bathed until your skin was wrinkled like a raisin and your hair smelled like a complete bar of soap.

"Tighter"

"Mama"

"Tighter" she refused to let you have some piece "Tighter, girl" she ordered your Lady and you felt your ribcage extremely squeezed "Good" Your Mama stood behind you and stared at your figure "Your father and I haven't talked too much but I know he is quite involved in this, he will have things settled with Mr Bridgerton by no less than before the party ends"

"Alright?" you stared at her eyes but she avoided them "You are still vexed with me?"

"When I see you all dressed in white it will pass, now... tighter"

"No, MamaAaAaouch!"

You could not move as much from your torso and your rapid breathing was not noticeable still you managed to welcome each one from the ton with a wide smile, after all, this was an engagement party for you.

"Lady Danbury, you are glowing"

"Why thank you and you're so... straight, Miss Ashbourne. Lady Ashbourne, a moment?"

You saw your mother leave and that was as if God allowed you to breathe for a second -trying to at least-. The Garden of your house is now decorated with cream and pastels, bushes holding garlands of pearls, tables filled with delicate pastries and-

"Boo!"

You flinched and balanced yourself only to see his clear eyes wrinkling as he laughed "He-"

"Benedict" however it was Violet who went straight to scold the twenty-eight-year-old man winking at you now "Manners, she is your fiancé"

"Indeed" You followed the game but smiled at him in return, your eyes went to the real ton of the evening, all the Bridgertons looking like they always do, stunning. "Lady Bridgerton" but your eyes danced to Kate who quickly shook her head at you and you understood "Lady Bridgerotn" you once called

Violet smiled at you, her kind eyes shining "My dear, you look radiant as always but today..."

"Oh thank you"

"She looks like a bride, right?" Anthony was quick to join

"No, more like a china doll" Hyacinth corrected but Eloise elbowed her

"Thank you Anthony and thank you Hyacinth. Please, there are refreshments, you all can sit down and have a good time"

You watched them go, and then turned to see Benedict still looking at you, you tilted your head and he walked toward you, his hands in his pockets.

"Are you having fun?"

"What do you think?"

His hand went to your dangling earrings and then moved a curl from your face "If I die right now, I'd depart knowing I've witnessed the most enchanting work of art ever created"

The already constricted chest you have due to the corset felt like fire with his words "Thank you, but you won't die now"

"Life is short"

"Not that short for you to die in your engagement party"

"Then marry me now"

"Right"

"Is that a yes?" he murmured and then leaned down kissing your cheek, you sighed closing your eyes and taking a deep breath "Hmm?"

"Yes" You saw him lean back to his place, the violin in the background could not make you flinch nor the chatting could make your ears pierced. What sorcery was this? You could only stay put and see him

"Brother"

You snapped back to see Anthony and blinked away "Lord Bridgerton... I believe your Brother needs you, Mr. Bridgerton"

he grunted, "I love you Anthony but why?"

Anthony so gallantly with a hand on his side palmed Benedict "Business I'm afraid, it won't take that much"

"If it does, I'll send Eloise and she'll throw a book at him"

You both chuckled, you did not move from your place, your Mama did not let you, you saw Eloise coming from the distance and Benedict was nowhere to be seen.

"You look like a statue, a very uncomfortable one"

"I feel like one"

Eloise sighed and leaned on her shoulder "So..."

"So"

"We haven't talked"

"Not because of me"

"Hey, give me some rights..."

"Like?"

"I am the sister, and oh my your sister-in-law, future sister-in-law"

"I love the enthusiasm, El"

"You know I mean well, after all, you are my girl just like Pen who is... eh"

You knew better than to talk so you moved your hand to allow her the stage for the monologue you knew she would throw.

"I mean" she inhaled "Do you, no, did you imagine kissing my brother every time we went out together?"

"El"

"Just answer, you know how this goes"

"No, I did not" you admitted "Especially not the first years"

"That would have been alarming"

"Yes... and I found those sentiments not that long ago but strong. Does that make sense?"

"No, yet I believe you"

"Thanks"

She grabbed your arm "Come on now, let us join Francesca"

"What about Pen?"

"Eh let her do her own thing"

Anthony was lying. Benedict went away and returned before the party finished, some minutes to spare for some dancing couples still taking advantage of the sunny day above them.

"Why haven't we danced?" you inquired and he turned around to see you a slight seriousness on his face "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, it is just that..." his hand caressed your chin and then the palm of his hand went up until it cupped your face, his thumb caressing your cheekbone "I missed you"

"Liar"

He shrugged and looked to the dance floor "We haven't have we? Danced"

"No, now that I think about it we haven't"

"Excluding those small dancing sessions with the family..." he muttered

"So now you also want to save a second thing until marriage?"

He saw your smirk and grinned back "I will only save one thing until marriage and I won't tell you what"

"And I won't ask"

"Dance with me then"

You nodded and he grabbed your hand, the way the wind was moving the tree branches, the birds singing... everything was perfect, the sky was the shade of his eyes, the flowers contrasted with his pale skin and finally you danced. You don't remember why on heavens you haven't shared a proper dance not even during innocent times, perhaps those dancing sessions with the Bridgertons but his hands never landed on your back nor his eyes were fixated on yours like now.

Your hands never surrounded him with intensity like now, your mind was never filled with loving thoughts and passions -maybe except from the last year to the present time-.

"What are you thinking?"

"Your eyes"

"Ohhh?"

"I swear I saw the sky and then I looked into your eyes and I thought..." you smiled, your heart beating rapidly, "I thought... there is not much difference"

Benedict blushed, a thing he has mastered not to feel bad about "You're just making me go all mellow on you"

"Afraid of a lady paying compliments?"

"No, I am just afraid of what my body does when it's near the woman who is paying me the compliment"

You swallowed and stared at his face, his hand caressing your spine, your other hand resting on top of his shoulder "Do it then. We were cut hours ago"

"By my lovely brother"

"Is everything alright with... whatever that was?"

He exhaled "Well, if you want to know I will tell you but what if I tell you tonight?"

"Another adventure through back gardens and brandy?"

"You said it better than I could. Come here"

He stopped dancing to the harmony of the violins and flutes. In a second he gave you the sweetest close-mouthed kiss. You felt tingling for a brief moment, you smelled his cologne and felt the softness of his lips.

You smiled like an idiot. Yes, an idiot you called yourself because you couldn't believe this was happening. You couldn't believe the feeling. It was a mix of everything.

By the time the party ended, you gave your farewell to everyone invited. Still, the party was not kind to your mother's mood, her frown kept crippling now and then, triggered by your closeness and unfortunately the collateral damage, your father's.

However, things ran smoothly and you dismissed your two ladies who were quick to go to the servants' chambers for the rest of the day. You did not change attire and still with some light from the twilight, you bravely walked through the back gardens of the houses.

Before your knuckles could touch the door it opened, Benedict still not changed from his black suit was smiling.

"Did you know I was coming?"

"I did not but I was hoping"

You nodded and walked in, he closed the door "Thank you"

"So" he spun in his heels "I must confess something"

"Yes?"

"I have some work I must finish before we talk and... talk"

"Oh, that's alright I must also confess I'm rather curious about this place"

"Please feel free to explore. It is yours"

You saw him leave with an air of madness, but of course, you knew better than cutting his thread when he had that look. So curiosity got the best of you, the living room had a fireplace and a portrait of the whole family.You went upstairs to the hall and saw that there was a door to another studio this one amazingly empty that made you chuckle. Benedict was never one for bookkeeping, files or forms so this room being clean is exceptionally him. His office is the art studio.

You smiled and before turning away you spotted the mirror on top of the fireplace, you looked the same as this morning with more curls out of your hairstyle yet the same. Your hands however found a fight of their own as your fingers tried to unclasp the buttons of your dress, the damned corset was pressuring you too much. You managed to unbutton it, the sleeves were the problem as you couldn't reach it from your position, you took a deep breath and sighed, your back arching and you saw him through the mirror.

"high!" you flinched and lost balance when you swore you were going to feel the hit on your bum you opened your eyes to see him holding you

"What on earth?" he chuckled

"Hi!" you smiled back "you scared me"

"And you scared me"

"How?"

"I heard silence... silence with you in this place" he pulled you up with him, grunted as he tried to balance your rigid back "Everyone knows that you love creating racket"

"Hey"

"Even if it is just humming a song" he brushed your sleeves "So why are you getting naked in this studio?"

"I am not getting naked, my corset is too tight. Has been like so all day and my chest feels like it's going to explode. Help me please?"

You turned around and he undid your dress, the sleeves falling off, the corset's laces were visible yet he hummed "How?"

"How?"

"It is well-knotted"

"Have you never untied one?"

Benedict bit his tongue. He has seeing corsets but the women never have asked him to remove it or sometimes they don't wear one at all.

"Not... quite"

"Un-knotted" you instructed "try each loop to loosen it"

You felt some movement behind, you moved at his weird shaking of you "there" he said "done"

But the corset was the same you could feel it "No, it is still tied"

"No, I..." he humemd "Oh I untied the sides"

"No that only for decor"

"Noted, so the middle"

"Yes the middle!" you shriek

"Alright Alright..." he stood silent again and sighed "wait here"

"Wha- Benedict you only need your hands!"

"I will be right back!"

"Oh Lord"

"Here" he said

But you frowned at the sound, like knives or... "No, Benedict! Bene-"

"Ahhhhhhh" he exhaled relieved "Done!"

You turned around with the coldest glare you have ever done in your life "Really?"

"What?"

"You cut my corset"

"Horrible corset, ribcage-breaker if you ask me"

"Bu-"

"And you hate it too, I do not know where this affection is coming from"

He was right, your chest felt better and his adorable innocent smile was melting you away "Thank you"

"Always, now... what to do with this?" he pointed at you

"I have my camisole here, you can go now to your work"

Benedict pointed with his finger "I thought you knew I came for you"

"You told me you had work"

"The most infuriating thing I have ever said in my life. Forgive me for that"

"So there is no work?"

"There is, plenty. Loads. But you are here with a broken corset. Call me juvenile but not an idiot, my love"

You rolled your eyes "Fine. Take it away and burn it"

"Aye Aye Captain"

Carefully you slid your arms out of the tiny puffed sleeves and then with his help your broken corset was gone leaving your cotton camisole on. Your hands cupped your breast feeling how the tightness made you sore.

"What's wrong?" he asked behind you

"It hurts... like a lot"

"What?"

"My breasts"

"Well, they're finally free"

"No they are not!" you said turning around "see?" and saw his grin "Oh, I know what you did"

"You turned, not me" he tried not to look down the thin camisole so he instead focused on the two orbs on your face "Are you fine wearing your gown? I can lend you some clothes"

"Like what? Do you have spare woman's gowns here?"

"No, but I can find something, let's see"

"Benedict you don't need to do that, I will be fine"

"Well, I can't have you naked"

"I have a camisole and a dress"

"You are not sleeping in that" he said leaving you again in the studio, you turned around to see your reflection in the mirror and saw how your hair was starting to fall, the pins around your curls as well dropping and your camisole exposing just a tiny pigment of your ni-

"Here!" he exclaimed and entered the room with a pile of clothes "I know you hate wool, flannel is too hot so cotton it is"

"Thoughtful" you took the ample cotton shirt. The flounce long sleeves and the collar made you know this one was a hunting shirt "thank you"

"I'll leave you to it, I will..." he walked to the door but then gave one step backwards "unless you want me to-"

"Me? want to...?"

"I meant that- well, me here-"

"Oh, it's-"

"Fine, yes I'll go"

The awkward moment was cut with him closing the door as you usually let yourself change. Your garters holding your stockings and the camisole away made you look like one of those illustrations you found under your father's desk. You however decided to wear Benedict's hunting shirt, your slender arms too fragile for the flouncing sleeves and your collarbone too narrow for the shoulder-width.

Was it too untoward of you?

"Oh for heaven's sake," you muttered

Isn't this enough? too proper all the time? You have been raised in the rules of the time, clear as water you understand them but you are going to be living behind closed walls with a person who is like you. Why should you keep following them? They have domesticated you so well and here is Benedict who has been too -domesticated- but still you two gravitate to unchain yourselves.

"Why Am I thinking so much about the camisole?"

You opened the door of the studio and heard nothing, however as you descended the staircase you started to hear the brushstrokes, the dipping into the water, the brush getting dried with a cloth and a sudden gulp, Brandy it must be.

You reached the art studio and peaked inside, Benedict was facing back at you, the easel with a canvas was ready and his paint pallet was in front of him, the glass full of a golden liquid. You knocked on the door and he turned around.

It was not your intention -you told yourself- the brandy went to his lungs and he coughed at the sight of you. You took the slight moment as advantageous and you moved to the couch where he had put some pillows, you sat and stared at him as he drank from the glass, the amber liquid sliding down his neck.

"That bad?" you asked

"No" he rasped and cleared his throat "not at all. I... think I died and came back with the sight of you"

"You're such a charmer, Mr. Bridgerton"

"That's why I'm not the one who will inherit the title" he joked "I hope you don't mind"

"The title?" you snorted "as if... although now that I put more thought into it... I think my Mother is quite frustrated about it... with Lord Coxingworth being left aside"

Benedict left his glass on a stool and moved to the couch where you are but he sat down on the carpet instead "You are quite perceiving to form that conjecture"

"How so?"

"Your mother talked to me today"

Your blood, as hot as it was went cold "What?"

"Anthony needed me to talk with your parents about your dowry"

You sneered at the thought "I hate dowries"

"And I hate talking about them... but your mother seemed to love Lord Coxingworth and I can't blame her, the man has his charm"

"And he is a Lord"

"And he is a Lord" he repeated "But still, your father was trying to make everything run smoothly so I only nodded. Anthony will make sure to keep everything in place, after all, you will be part of the family. For me you already are"

"Hmmm"

"I was about to say I do not need the dowry but Anthony knew and did the talking"

Your eyes expanded "What?"

"I don't need a dowry is just money. A Business, as if this" he pointed to you and him "is business... it is not"

"You speak only the truth"

He grinned "Would you have taken the money?"

"Are you mad?"

"Imagine I am Benedictina!" he giggled, you slapped his leg with your foot "Hey! And you Mr. Ashbourne"

"Shush you"

"Would you have taken my dowry, my Lord?" he mocked

"Yes!" you laughed "Yes, to go to the coast of Italy and get some food and live there with your dowry Benedictina"

Benedict chortled loudly and hit your leg with his foot which you retaliated but he held it "Stop! You'll make me choke again!"

"Then let go of my leg!"

"You stop first!"

You stopped and looked at him, the fire in the fireplace behind him and the moonlight from the window making the scene even more dreamlike.

"Ben"

"Yes"

"Are you still certain about marrying me?"

He looked at your eyes and the way the firelight made them shine "More than ever. Why the question?"

you shrugged "I don't want you to feel rushed, perhaps Lord Coxingworth made you act fast and-"

"I know what you're saying" he nodded and took his tie from his neck and rolled it in his hand "but it was that or seeing you getting married to him which..." he pointed "It is not the only thing but it pushed me to do something which is the right thing to do"

"You better still think that" you hit his side with your foot again "because I will terrorize you if you ever point out it was rushed"

"I'll terrorize you back"

You sneered "I'll terrorize you further"

He straightened "I'll terrorize you harder"

"Harder?"

"Yes"

"You think you can"

"Oh I know"

"Bring it, Bridgerton"

He leaned in close, crawling on the couch until his hand touched your clothed calf, his lips inches from yours, the fire's heat behind him and the night sky shining through the window.

"I have a lot of ideas"

"I have some myself" you replied

"Is that so" he licked his lips

"Mhm"

"Then I'll start with this" he pecked your lips, once "Fight me" he kissed you, twice "Love me" he kissed you, thrice "Do it all together" and he kissed you again, his tongue tracing the seam of your mouth, your lips parted and let him in, his tongue was warm and his breath tasted like brandy and mint.

"And I will start," you said between kisses, his mouth was insatiable, your lips were swollen with his rapture "With this" your hands pulled the tie in his hand and pushed his torso forward, Benedict followed and he was on top of you, his weight pressing down but you loved it "Fight me" you kissed his neck and nipped his lobe, Benedict moaned and moved his lips down your jaw to your chin and then your neck, he was kissing and licking you "Love me" you tugged his hair, the moan reverberating against your neck, his teeth nibbling down to your collarbone "And do it all together"

His hands found the hem of his hunting shirt, your bare legs exposed with the pantalettes still around your body, his hands travelled up your thigh and cupped your ass, the touch burning against your skin. You could feel his fingers digging into your flesh even with the fabric against you.

His eyes as dark as they could be stared at your breathing chest, the small gap of his shirt showing your soft skin "Y/N... I need my shirt back"

"It looks good on me, doesn't it"

"Too good" he groaned as he kissed your collarbone, his hand travelling back to your leg and up to the inner thigh, your heart drummed in your chest, the air was getting thick and your core was getting wet "give it to me" he pleaded

You broke apart and nodded, why are you hiding? Your hands took the buttons in front and started to undo them, slowly and surely while he was waiting patiently, the shirt opened just to expose the middle of your torso and your navel.

"hey" he murmured looking down and up at you "You don't need to open it now"

"Then tell me why it feels alright doing it?" you said and your hands were quick to push the shirt down your arms leaving it forgotten, cornered by the couch that it might absorb it. Your eyes were glued however in the pulsating vein by his neck until his finger raised your chin

"You are still someone unable to be defined by a word" he whispered "beyond what the word beautiful means or any other"

You hummed unfit to say anything and you saw the delicacy of his touch. One of his hands was placed by the side of your head so he wouldn't fall on you, the other softly cupped your breast and traced the round shape. You could see the curiosity, his fingers pinching your nipple and you moaned "It's so soft" he mumbled "And this" he pinched the other nipple and felt it hardening under his palm "This is... everything I thought"

"Am I what you imagined me to be?"

"And more," he said and leaned down "Allow me"

"I-" but you were shushed by the erotic sound of a sucking noise, his lips latched onto your nipple, and you felt his tongue swirling around it and his teeth grazing your sensitive skin. You could feel him sucking the tender spot, the warmth spreading from the tips of your fingers to your toes and you moaned hard.

Benedict was delighted by the sound of your pleasure, his hand caressing the other breast, his thumb pressing the bud until you could only gasp, he stopped and moved to the other nipple.

"You're a tease"

"Let me play"

"Benedict" you groaned and arched your back to press your breast more against him. The scene was like the water you drink in the middle of the night, your mind could not process the moment and still, you could feel it all, your breast, the swelling too close to his face "oh"

Benedict however could not wait, he just couldn't. The sight of you, your warmth was inviting, more inviting than the day before, than any other thing he has done with, for, and by you. He pushed himself back, his hands travelled to your wait and hips and he left -agonizingly- your breasts now covered in his spit. His hands slid down to your thighs and opened them wider, he sat in his heels and took in the view of the most secretive part of your body -yet- he cursed at the pantalettes and then looked at you flushed, red and pink and all colours for him.

"Y/N..."

You saw he wanted to take them away and so you nodded. What could he do? You thought. He's done so much. He could do anything to you and you'd let him, and so his hand slipped into the sides of your undergarment and slid down your thighs. The air hit your exposed body, the wetness dripping from you and Benedict saw. He saw all.

"My goodness" he whispered, his hand trembling "Oh my goodness, Y/N"

You looked away, the sudden shyness taking over, and you could not look at him.

"Look at me" he commanded "Y/N"

"I-"

"Look at me"

Slowly you turned your face and saw his eyes. They were hungry, the pupils blown and his lips were swollen. You bit your lip and he hissed.

"What do you think?"

"You're divine, I can't- oh" his hands were caressing your thigh, his thumb rubbing circles around your inner thighs "You are... more than words can describe"

"Don't use words, please"

He chuckled "Very well" he grazed your folds with his finger and you welcomed it for the second time that "I'll kiss you"

Ignorantly, you plucked your lips and waited however the puck laste a second because you "Uuuuuh!" you flinched but Benedict held you in place.

The sole image of his face close to your core started to drive you insane "What-"

"Shush, honey"

Honey indeed as he kissed your wet core, his tongue explored you, the taste, the sensation, the feeling, he was addicted to you and the moans, the way your hips were starting to grind into his mouth were driving him insane. His hand held you down and his tongue explored, lapped and sucked, his nose nuzzled against your clit and the way his tongue slipped inside your hole, he could not help the groan, his own arousal was hurting him but he wanted you. All of you.

"Benedict!"

He knew what he was doing, the tip of his tongue was teasing the entrance, your juices dripping, the sound of his lips and tongue lapping at you echoed around the studio.

Perhaps you were moving too much you thought. You were squirming and this was not like when he put his fingers inside of you. This was something else, so dirty and so good. Your hips were on their own, you kept arching, buckling, squirming and his chestnut hair was the only thing you could see.

"Ben" you articulated "Ben"

But he roared like a lion, the vibrations sending you over the edge, his tongue was thrusting in and out, his nose brushing the bud of nerves and you cried. He gripped tighter, he was not letting go.

"Ben!" you cried, the sensation too much for your own survival that night and still you managed to say "Ke-keep... going-Ah"

He lost it with your taste that he swore he would never stop doing this, your cries, the stocking threatening to fall, your breasts heaving and your nipples swollen. He has found his place.

And it came, you came on his face as he travelled inside of you with his tongue, your walls clenching around his tongue and his thumb was pressing against the bud. You could feel your eyes rolling, black coming and vision returning. Still, Benedict kept taking all of you, licking you and tasting.

"Enou-Benedict-ah!" you moaned, his tongue still getting into you, his nose hitting your clit "I can't, ah!"

And until your last clenching that is when he stopped, like a madman he looked up to see the sweat on your face, your body twitching and your eyes unfocused.

"I told you" he breathed heavily, his chest also heaving, the bulge in his pants evident and he licked his lips "I'll devour you"

"Why on earth you didn't do that since the beginning?!"

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 hours

Note

AITA for being kind and civil with people who drive me insane?

So this is something that happens all the time and it's a pattern so to save your time, I'll only mention the one incident which that I got called out for several times, it's starting to make me think I might be TA.

I (34F) work in a grocery store. Maddy (???F) works in the security department and is in charge for looking through our grocery to ensure we didn't steal anything (our workplace is uncomfortably strict about this since many employees have stole in the past) She is very rude, I never liked her. She makes me so uncomfortable a lot because she yells all the time. At everyone. She never realized how offensive she is.

Anyway, sometimes I'd walk past her after my shift forgetting that I'm carrying grocery bags etc and she'd yell at me to get back there. It's always embarrassing because anyone who witnesses that would most likely assume I'm a shoplifter because of the way she's yelling. She yells about other stuff too mind you, don't think I always forget the fact I'm carrying grocery. They don't allow us to bring our bags inside and we have to keep them in our locker (according to her, I never heard this elsewhere). She yells at me if I try to take my purse with me if I'm in a hurry. She says it's ~the rules~ and we need to follow them but like, she the only security staff who's this strict about it. The others don't even bother to check our groceries because they trust we don't shoplift and it's actually stupid because we could still shoplift anyway and hide the items in our pockets and they don't perform a body check anyway (they used to in the past but were legally required to stop because of Covid).

How do I deal with her though? Every time she'd yell, I reply to her very calmly and attempt small talk to absorb her anger. For example, if she's angry about my grocery, I'd show them to her and ask stuff like "what is you favorite brand of milk/bread/egg etc etc"

She does engage but it never made her actually stop and think about her behaviors for a single second. I have always stopped to chat with her whenever I can and she always speaks calmly when I do, but returns to yelling when I "break the rules" as she says.

But here's the thing. My patience is limited. I'm like a battery, if you keep charging me, I'll eventually explode. I planned remaining civil with Maddy forever, but enough is enough and I accidentally lashed out. I lashed out on her ONCE only, I yelled much louder than she did, for 30 minutes, lecturing her about work etiquette. She was so surprised and taken aback. She told me "where did this all come from?" Like she didn't see it coming? She seriously mistook my patience and tolerance of her behaviors for friendliness. And that was the last time we talked, I reported her to HR the next day because I don't think she'll ever get the memo, and that's when I learned thst so many employees have complained about her already but they can't fire her because she an outsource and has strong connections in her company, management has already talked to her numerous times but she just doesn't listen, so don't call me TA for not communicating, it doesn't work with her.

My friend Gloria (28F) and many others including our manager (F30s) told me I should've not been chatting with her, I should just ignore her and disengage. They think the fact I'm talking kindly to her will just make her assume she isn't doing anything wrong and encourage her to keep behaving like that, and that she'd think I want to be friends??? None of that is my intention. I just want to be civil to her to indirectly get her to realize her behaviors weren't acceptable. I'm setting a good example for her, to learn from me how she should treat people and soften her heart.

I was called TA because they said I didn't have to be civil with her if I knew I might eventually lash out (but lashing out isn't something I planned??), and I should've just avoided her and set boundaries. Gloria told me it's an AH move to go out of my way to interact to someone I despise when ignoring them is an option and that makes me two faced and makes the people around me wonder if I truly like them or I'm basically tolerating them, but this wouldn't happen if I they weren't rude in the first place?

BTW a similar thing eventually happened with Gloria because her attitude sucked with me and I lashed out eventually because enough is enough, she said she should've known not to trust me because of how I treated Maddy and I shouldn't have befriended her if I "hated" her so much. AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #eyestrain

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foone · 1 day

Text

Alright, listen up:

We need to stop with the anti-rooting attitude for brainpals, alright? You're just doing mnemonocorps job for them. Cut out the discourse about people with modded brainpals, for TF's sake.

(scifi worldbuilding by way of fictional Tumblr discourse under the cut)

There's tons of valid reasons for by people would hack their brainpals! Testing new memory/skills without paying for a dev kit, piracy of skills (and do not @ me with that "but you're stealing from the original skill creator!" bullshit. All the legit skills on the market now are from people who did work for hire by mnemonocorps, and THEY ALREADY WERE PAID. It's only mnemonocorps that is losing money!), home ptsd/cptsd/jptsd treatment, the list is endless.

And before you jump into the comments, YES I KNOW PEOPLE DO SEXUAL MEMORY PLAY. People do every kind of weird shit, name me a technology that no one has used for sex in some way? Hell, the first topless photo was taken within a week of the invention of the daguerreotype. But we need to be adults here, okay? These things can be simultaneously true:

1. People do memory play

2. No kids have memorypals

3. The vast major of memory play is NOT VP.

Mnemonocorps has done a lot of work to try to keep people from using brainpals for memory pal, with their artificial limits on how much you can block at once, but that's fundamentally an over reaction to the negative press from the whole VP scandal. The news loves a juicy story like "people are using a new technology for weird sex shit" because their readers/viewers are always interested in Weird Sex Shit, either because "ooh, sexy!" or "BAN THIS FILTH" reactions.

And like all big companies, the last thing mnemonocorps wants is a new law aimed specifically at regulating them! So they stuck a bunch more restrictions on brainpals so they could say they have taken steps to prevent VP.

Now, I need you to listen to me before I say this: I am NOT saying I condone VP, alright? I'm not going like "oh but no one is hurt, everyone is (technically) adults, it's basically roleplay"? This is not an excuse for VP, alright?

Memory play is not just VP, and it's deeply insulting to everyone who engages in memory play to conflate the two!

The reasons people would do memory play are many and varied, as are the things that people do with memory play. And I think people are extra quick to jump on the "memory play is bad" bandwagon not just because of the spectre of VP, but because it's all "eww, kinky sex things".

And yes, I'm not going to try to sugarcoat memory play, alright? There's a lot of weird stuff going on there, and it definitely isn't for everyone. But the thing y'all need to keep in mind is that it's between consensual adults and they (usually*) know what they're doing, okay?

It's safe and mind healthy and consensual. (yes I know these are the same arguments the veepers use to definite VP but I'm not talking about VP here, damn it!).

People can do CNC play with mblocks. People can do roleplay with temporary personality patches, either because they're too awkward/shy/whatever to have sex or because they (or their partners) want to do some vcheating. All these are perfectly safe if done correctly and don't hurt anyone. Especially not you, who aren't even involved in their memory play!

And I promise the slippery slope argument is bullshit: even if people use mblocks to age regress, that doesn't make it VP, alright? There's plenty of people (especially us elderly trans who missed out on a gender-correct early adulthood. (I wasn't able to get genespliced until I was nearly 60!). If I want to experience how my 25-year-old self would have had sex as a girl, that's my own god damn business! And it's not VP and it hurts no one. And all these non-vp uses of memory play are completely blocked by the stock brainpal software, because of their heavy handed approach to trying to prevent VP.

But with this whole stigma against hacking brainpals means that if I ever even mention I've got mine modded, people immediately start side-eying me because they think the only reason anyone would want to hack their brainpal is VP.

No! Piracy of skills and mblocks and yes, memory play. Which isn't entirely VP, even if it keeps getting tarred with that brush.

The piracy argument you'd think would be an easier one to make. I know half of you have all the PS6 ROMs downloaded onto your tangles. How are you gonna steal half the video games on the iarchive and then turn around and say it's wrong to download fluent-Japanese or woodworking to your brainpal? Come on.

Basically my whole point is that mnemonocorps has done a great job convincing the general public to associate illicit (by their rules) brainpal use with VP, and it's solely because they know the average person (rightly, I would add) thinks VP is abhorrent. They're using that disgust to turn the general opinion against the idea of brainpal modding.

And look, look me in my eye, do you really think mnemonocorps is doing this because they genuinely think VP is bad and want the public to help them stop it by shunning people who hack their brainpals? Or is it, just maybe, because they don't want to lose trillions of n$ on skill piracy? And they're just using VP as an excuse?

It's like, come on gals. No one ever went broke assuming companies are acting out of the most basic capitalistic greed, because THEY ALWAYS ARE.

And don't get me started on the people clitriding mnemonocorps for inventing the brainpal in the first place. Look, we all love the brainpal, yes, but it's not like you owe them endless loyalty over it, okay? They can and have done wrong in the past. Accept that you can love the work and hate the company trying to control it.

(it's like: is Thomas Chellae an abusive asshole who should not be out of crimrehab? Yes of course, no question. Is Shadowed Skies the best album of the last 30 years? Also yes! It can be both! Bad people can make good things)

Anyway: end of the day, stop bringing up VP every time anything involving brainpal modding comes up. Don't judge people for modding their brainpals.

(especially since half the problem people have with memory play isn't VP, it's just y'all being antisex. Which is bullshit given how many people subscribe to those "expert oral sex" skills! You're using your brainpal to have better sex, then turning around and going "but I'd never use it for WEIRD sex!". Grow TF the fuck up!)

Also, just because I know someone would bring it up, the whole mind control thing is A MYTH. There have never been any legitimate cases of people getting hacked through their brainpals, hacked or not, okay? I mean, who knows what the nsa or uhsa can do, but no one has ever been able to demonstrate a remote hack on a brainpal. Anyone being "mind controlled" through their brainpal did it to themselves, either with a ppatch or intentionally routing their admin to someone else. "you'll get hacked and turned into a bpZombie!" is a bullshit reason to be against brainpal hacking: it simply does not happen. I used to be a rengineer, I've looked into the brainpal security: it's well done!

* Yeah, Adrian Reach was a tragic case, but it was definitely a million-to-one case. Make your backups, run the ccheck, and don't try to mblock your whole damn life on a failing bp! You'll be fine.

EDIT: I forgot to elaborate on the "no kids have brainpals" thing: yes, I know there are some kids who do have them, BUT they're not the same as regular brainpal installs. They're only done in some extreme cases of mental distress (like survivors of the cWar) and they're locked down. Only their doctor can adjust them, it's not like regular consumer brainpals where you can just fiddle with the settings themselves. So all this memory play stuff we're talking about is only between adults. REAL adults, alright? Even when people are doing VP, everyone involved is of age.

#Unreality #cw pedophila mention #My writing

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glassartpeasants · 3 days

Text

Law angst writing warm up

GN!Reader

~~~

"So you just think your better than me now? Is that it? Am I no longer good enough for the warlord Trafalgar Law?" You hiss as your nails dig into his wooden desk.

"Are we really gonna do this now? I have work to do and don't have time to deal with your accusations."

Your eyes widen as you grit your teeth. "Yes! We are! We are doing this right now! This is the third time this month I've caught you with someone else! Fucking someone in our bed!" Slamming your hands on his desk as you feel your eyes water with tears. The vibration from your action caused Law's coffee to spill all over his work. You felt bad for a second but your rage returned not seconds later.

"God damnit! Look what your little tantrum did! Now all these documents are fucking ruined cause your such a fucking crybaby bitch!"

His words stung but you weren't going to back down. Not again. "I'm a crybaby bitch cause I don't want my fiancé to be fucking other people?! Do you hear yourself?!"

Law moves from behind his desk to stand in front of you. His eyes filled with a same rage, his golden eyes turning into bullets. "What does it matter huh?! So what if I fuck someone that's not you? You can go out and whore yourself to that damn fire-breather from the Kidd Pirates, but I can't go out and fuck somebody I met at the bar?!"

"What?! I've never fucking cheated in you! I asked him to help me open a damn beer bottle and had a conversation! Sorry for wanting to talk to someone who isn't always looking down on me!"

"Maybe if you weren't so fucking stupid I wouldn't have to! All you do is bitch and moan! Complain and complain and complain! Listening to you is like listening to nails on a chalkboard!"

"If you hate my voice so much why did you ask me to marry you?! Can you me that?!"

"God I wish I never saved you from Sabaody!" As soon as those words left his mouth the room went silent and the temperature dropped. And before either you or Law have time to react, the sound of your hand hitting his cheek echoed through his office. Your body shaking with rage and overwhelming sadness.

Law remained silent as his head still reeled from his own words and your slap. Sure he was pissed and still is, bur seeing the heartbroken and horrified look in your eyes threw him from his rage. He watched as tears stream down your cheeks and onto the metal floor of the sub.

"(Y-Y/N)....I-"

"Shut the fuck up. You've said enough." Your voice cold as you pull off your engagement ring without a problem and dropping it at Law's feet.

#one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader

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tsunami-of-tears · 12 hours

Text

Someplace better

Azriel x Reader

A/N: This is dark. There are no happy endings. Please read the warnings.

Wordcount: <1K

Warnings: angst doesn’t even cut it; emotionally abusive family dynamic; suicide; it does not end well, you’ve been warned.

My mother is a horrible wench.

We just had yet another fight that ended in screaming and tears and slammed doors.

I thought our relationship was getting better. I was trying to open up about the struggles I’ve been having, only to have them all thrown back in my face.

“Before you point the finger at everyone else, maybe you need to consider that you’re the problem,” she sneers.

I’d been trying to tell her how overwhelmed I felt, that I felt stuck and couldn’t see a way out. I can feel myself starting to crack under the pressure, pieces of me splintering as I try to be everything for everyone.

No matter how hard I try, it’s not enough. There’s always something I’m not doing, something not done right.

‘You’re a failure and a burden,’ that little voice says, harmonising with my mother’s insults.

“I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself,” she says dismissively.

So much for motherly love…

————

Later that evening, I’m heading to the River House for a family dinner. These events have become less frequent with everyone’s busy schedules, and I’m looking forward to seeing my friends.

Rhysand greets me at the door, pulling me into a hug. “Y/N, it’s been too long,” he smiles down at me warmly. “Everyone else is here already, come in.”

“It’s good to see you, I’ve missed everyone,” I give Rhys a tight smile in return.

Time appears to stop as we walk down the hallway. The awkwardness drags on for what feels like forever. My thoughts race with things I could say, but my tongue cannot form the words. Rhys notices my silence, furrowing his brows at me. I plaster a huge smile on my face, attempting to conceal my inner turmoil. I can’t tell if Rhys picks up on my forgery.

We enter the living room which is alive with chatter between my friends.

Mor, Feyre and Cassian are laughing together, likely about something Cassian said.

Amren and Nesta are engaged in a heated discussion.

And then Azriel… He’s with Elain, talking softly together about gods knows what. My heart starts to crack at the sight.

I really don’t want to get between Nesta and Amren, and I can’t face Azriel and Elain together, so I sit next to Cassian as Rhys perches on the arm of the chair beside Feyre. He leans down to kiss her softly on the top of her head and I look away quickly, the crack growing until I feel like my heart is split in two.

Cassian gives me a quick peck on the cheek as I sit before returning to his conversation with Feyre and Mor.

I struggle to engage with anyone, feeling more alone than ever while surrounded by my chosen family.

————

The rest of the night is much of the same.

Every single word is a monumental effort.

I’m hyper-aware of every single person around the table. Every single smile and hidden touch. I feel as if I’m watching from behind a window. I’m on the outside. Alone.

‘They’ll be fine without you,’ that little voice whispers in my ear. ‘Look how happy they are. They don’t need you. All your efforts are wasted. You are a waste.’

After dinner I bid everyone goodnight, heading up to my room.

I miss the concerned glances between my friends, who noticed I’ve been extra quiet tonight.

I miss the shadows that follow behind me.

I miss the way Azriel zones out from what Elain is saying as he watches me leave.

————

I can’t remember the last time I stayed in this room but all my things remain untouched. Clothing, journals, even some beauty products - all where I left them.

I pick up one of my old journals and flip through the pages. I mostly write down the bad stuff. It usually helps get the feelings out, but right now, it’s only adding to the storm that’s brewing inside me.

I carefully set down the books in a stack on my nightstand, picking up a scrap of parchment. As I always do, I write.

I’m sorry to do this here, tonight, but I cannot go on any longer. I truly believe this is for the best. The world was not made for people like me. I’m far too soft. I love you all. Y/N

I set the note down on the bed and rummage through my various medicines. I’ve always struggled to sleep, so I should have some extra tonics in here somewhere…

I find four bottles of sleeping tonic in one of my drawers, plus the one in my pocket.

I arrange them on the nightstand in a straight line.

I pick up the first bottle, uncorking it and raising it in the air.

A toast, to finding someplace better.

I bring the glass rim to my lips, chugging the clear liquid.

One down. Just a few more.

I make short work of the remaining bottles, though I feel a bit queasy from the sheer volume.

As I set down the last bottle, a wisp of darkness curls around my wrist and snakes between the empty bottles.

“You’re too late,” I tell it.

The shadow vanishes and my eyes start to droop.

I lay down on the bed, my entire body feeling heavy.

As I feel myself losing the battle for consciousness, a mass of dark shadows appears next to the bed.

Azriel.

He is frantic as he reaches towards me.

So close. He was so close.

I never get to feel those hands again as the world fades to black and I give myself over to the endless sleep.

A/N: I’m not gonna lie and say I’m okay when clearly I’m not, but I’m not unsafe tonight.

Mental Health Resources*: If you’re in immediate danger please call your country’s emergency number. Australia: Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ Mental Health Hotline: 1800 011 511 Lifeline: 13 11 14 USA: Crisis Line (call or text): 988 UK: Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 *If I have gotten anything wrong or if you have other resources to add, please let me know

#azriel angst #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar angst

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bethanydelleman · 1 day

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do you have any theories on why wickham turned out the way he did? his background sounds humble but not dirt poor as i know steward was a really valued job at the time. and as the elder mr. darcy liked him, he probably had a better life than plenty of boys. correct me if i'm wrong but i don't recall any mention of a mom or siblings, so darcy was probably his main childhood companion. it's just horrible to think that over the years he went from seeing darcy as a friend to someone he could ruin. and he was prepared to ruin georgiana's life, not just take all her money but cause a scandal so she might not ever get married again. and if darcy hadn't found lydia he'd probably just leave her where she was with no way of getting home and destroyed the bennets. like why? everyone was nothing but nice to him his whole life and all he does is hurt them and enjoy doing it. when you think about it kind of sounds evil.

From what I understand, Wickham was a failure of a system whereby a rich person would choose someone poorer to patronize. We can see other examples of this in Emma (Jane Fairfax & Harriet Smith) and especially Mansfield Park (Fanny & William Price).

The idea was that the rich would find someone worthy of improvement, sponsor their education, and give them the ability to raise into the gentry class. This sounds like what Mr. Darcy Sr. tried with Wickham, but in this case it was a failure. What ended up happening isn't that Wickham was grateful, but he ended up feeling entitled to the life of a Darcy. The novel's implication is that Wickham had a bad character, which education could not improve, and that Mr. Darcy Sr. was deceived in because Wickham had a veneer of decency.

From Darcy's Letter:

Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates, and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge; most important assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman’s education. My father was not only fond of this young man’s society, whose manners were always engaging, he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities, the want of principle, which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which Mr. Darcy could not have.

Wickham's account:

“We were born in the same parish, within the same park; the greatest part of our youth was passed together: inmates of the same house, sharing the same amusements, objects of the same parental care."

In Mansfield Park, Sir Thomas talks about how difficult it will be to maintain the distinction between his daughters and Fanny, their adopted niece, and when I think about how Wickham turned out, I think this is meant to be taken seriously (even though Sir Thomas and Mrs. Norris screwed up massively):

“There will be some difficulty in our way, Mrs. Norris,” observed Sir Thomas, “as to the distinction proper to be made between the girls as they grow up: how to preserve in the minds of my daughters the consciousness of what they are, without making them think too lowly of their cousin; and how, without depressing her spirits too far, to make her remember that she is not a Miss Bertram. I should wish to see them very good friends, and would, on no account, authorise in my girls the smallest degree of arrogance towards their relation; but still they cannot be equals. Their rank, fortune, rights, and expectations will always be different. It is a point of great delicacy, and you must assist us in our endeavours to choose exactly the right line of conduct.”

Fanny feels grateful for what the Bertrams give her, even though it's scraps of a real education. Wickham ends up feeling entitled, even though he is "liberally bestowed" and that may have been the problem. He was treated too similarly to Darcy and felt that he was a Darcy, only to find out the patronage didn't go as far as he wanted.

Wickham comes off to me as one of those people who is ALWAYS innocent in his own mind, someone else is always the cause of his misfortunes (he's like Willoughby in that respect). So when he tells Elizabeth about how he lost his inheritance, I think he believes what he is saying. He does think Darcy cheated him somehow even though he was in the wrong. Darcy becomes the tyrant because Wickham refuses to be the villain of his own story.

In addition, I don't know if he would have seen Darcy as a friend. Darcy is one of the few people who can see through Wickham and a con man would hate that. Wickham's dislike of Darcy may well have started because he hates that Darcy can perceive and judge the real him.

#wickham #pride and prejudice #jane austen #question response

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windvexer · 22 hours

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Hiya Chicken! I was wondering if you could expand upon what you meant in your most recent post (some people DO need physical items)? I think I understand what you're saying (some people are incapable of directing energy for spellwork on their own and need the assistance of tools, and that's okay?) but I'm not sure it's entirely clicking in my brain. Is it somewhat akin to "some people cannot effectively direct their energy without additional forces like correspondences to nail it down"? The idea is something I can get behind, I just want to make sure I'm not missing out on other nuance and completely misinterpreting. It isn't something I've really thought about before, so I want to make sure I'm like. Understanding fully and completely. Thank you for your time :)

Hi!!

We are in reference to this post.

Hey! I like where you’re coming from, but I think there can be more to it. You're really kind for inviting me to talk about my thoughts 😅

Uh... I'd also like to say that this has been on my mind for a really long time, so I don't think the following is comprehensive, but it's a good start.

I also want to reiterate that when most people say "you don't need stuff to practice witchcraft" they probably mean it in an encouraging and anti-consumerist way, which I don't disagree with; I just think it's more nuanced than that.

Accessibility: A part of witchcraft is integrating it into your life so that it’s possible to practice. If you’re a very ‘out of sight, out of mind’ individual, then it may literally be necessary to have physical tools, altars, and reminders around you, or else you’ll wake up 5 months later remembering you wanted to be practicing this entire time.

Also accessibility: You say that some people might need tools to help move energy, which is a factor (more on that later!) but it’s also a thing that some people can’t just sit down in an empty room and focus on visualization + willpower. Not all people can sit still and use meditative focus to direct their thoughts for an extended period of time without any external stimulation. That doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be good at energy work; it just means they can’t engage with that style of practice.

Still accessibility: This is more on the “it’s okay to buy mass produced” side of things, but an interest in witchcraft doesn’t automatically equal talent or interest in handcrafting skills. Making custom boutique tools takes time, money, energy, workshop space, and physical ability that not everyone has. It’s unfair to imply that even if you can buy a ready substitute online for $30, a beginner is a poser if they don’t take four months of free time to hone a personal hobby and make the tool themselves.

Sorcery: Not all schools of sorcery agree that you can advance down the path you want to take while never accumulating physical tools, icons, or ingredients. For example, my paradigm (which isn’t terribly unique) advises that in order to make changes in the physical world around you, then you need to use physical tools. No crystals to impregnate with energy? No herbs to sprinkle into the dinner? No candles? You can’t even direct energy into the threshold, windows, doorways? Then maybe you’re not going to be able to affect physical reality the way you want to.

(But, Chicken! You don’t need physical tools to put energy work into the front door. So you agree that the physical object is still a necessity? Or, no? Is it possible to create a purely astral threshold? Because...)

Energy: Just because you can perform an operation without using any physical tools doesn’t mean you have the personal energy to pull it off, especially not on a regular basis. For example, perhaps someone can create an energy construct of a cauldron sufficient to perform ritual gestation. They cast a spell purely out of energy work, and feed it with energy. That’s all good! But I can’t do that, because it would exhaust me. It’s not that I’m unable to direct energy; I can do energy work. It’s not a lack of talent or education. It’s just that I am literally, physically, too much of a low-energy witch to be able to do a lot of work without tools. If I had to substitute everything with energy work, I couldn’t do a lot of my witchcraft; I am too tired.

Spirit Work: In my paradigm (which is not so rare), a very important way to develop relationships with gods and spirits is to invite them into your physical space by devoting trinkets, houses, shrines, or spaces to them. By giving them a slice of your life, you invite them into your life! I don’t have to do that with a spirit. I can use my energy to bridge the gap with them every time. I can provide energy offerings to them every time they come through to me. I mean – hypothetically. I hypothetically could, but I actually can’t, because even though I can do energy work, I do not have enough personal energy to call my gods and spirits through into my IRL space using my own power multiple times a day. I especially do not have this energy when I need them most – a.k.a, when I am fatigued, distressed, and in need of help.

At a certain point, if Oak tree tells you to go find wood for a staff or wand, you’re going to have to do that. Maybe it’s going to take months or years of spellwork, careful searching, and cunning, but if you want your relationship to progress, it can’t be 100% on your terms. My point in all of this is just to say, I do agree with the sentiment that (as @lazywitchling says) you can't buy skill. And a lot of confusing resources can seem to imply that a beginner has to load up on unnecessary tools just to get started, which is untrue.

But I think sometimes that this push against anti-consumerism and a desire to protect beginners has warped into a sentiment that all witches are supposed to be able to validly work with 100% mental magic all the time for all purposes, which I don't believe is true.

Some people do need stuff! For lots of different reasons! And I think that should be normal and okay.

#answered

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sen-ya · 24 hours

Text

own terms

Summary: “We have to tell ‘em soon.”

Law huffed, hurrying across his room to find a sweater to take refuge in. “As I’ve told you,” he hissed, rummaging through a drawer, “I’ll be waiting as long as possible.”

Warnings: gender dysphoria, unplanned pregnancy

Word count: 1494

hi hello this is kinda part 6.5/7 of that comic series I’ve been posting. I have lotsa thoughts abt a lot of other points in this timeline but this is the only other one I’ve done something with oops.

“We have to tell ‘em soon.”

Law huffed, hurrying across his room to find a sweater to take refuge in. “As I’ve told you,” he hissed, rummaging through a drawer, “I’ll be waiting as long as possible.”

Luffy sighed, flopping to the foot of their bed with his head in his hands. “That’s what I’m saying,” he reasoned. “I think it’s been as long as possible.”

Law rolled his eyes at his husband. “Well, you think wrong,” he insisted, freeing an oversized black hoodie from his dresser. He pulled it on and observed himself in the mirror. “I’m hardly showing, and I have plenty of clothes like this.” He nodded, satisfied with the way the fabric swallowed him. “Honestly I may be able to conceal the whole thing without even using my powers,” this part was muttered to himself.

”Why though?!” Luffy whined. “My crew knows!”

“And I wish they didn’t!” If looks could kill, Law would have been guilty of mariticide and, in this moment, he didn’t even think he’d regret it. “Do we have to go through this again? I don’t want my crew to know I’m pregnant. It’s bad enough that Bepo made me tell Penguin and Shachi.”

“Why’s it bad that your brothers know we’re having a baby?” The irritation in the Pirate King’s voice was becoming increasingly familiar to Law, it’d been weeks of this conversation and he was, quite frankly, sick of it.

“I can’t believe you keep making me have this conversation,” Law sat at his desk and crossed his arms tightly across his chest. “At this point it’s just insensitive.”

“Did you forget we’re pirates, Torao?”

This was a new talking point. Law quirked an eyebrow. “And that means you can be insensitive?”

”I mean, kinda? – But wait, that's not the point,” Luffy sighed heavily, speaking slowly like he was explaining something to a child. “Your crew should know the kind of coverage you need.”

Law shot to his feet. “You’ve proven my point,” he said sternly. “I don’t need additional cover. I’m just as capable as I’ve always been.”

”Torao—“

“I’m not having this conversation again.” He waved his hand dismissively and swiftly sent himself to the deck of his ship.

Left behind, Luffy let himself indulge in a long, frustrated groan.

—-

“You don’t understand,” Usopp implored. “If I were in his shoes I’d be sensitive about it too, okay?”

Luffy crossed his legs on top of the crate he was perched on in Usopp and Franky’s workshop. “But he’s always so…I dunno…practical,” he sighed. “And not telling your crew — y’know, the ones you fight with — that you’re fucking pregnant is totally not practical!”

“I dunno, dude,” Franky offered from his work bench. “You sure that’s why you’re so hung up on this?”

Luffy’s face scrunched up at the question. “What else would it be about?”

Franky lifted his welding mask and shared a knowing look with Usopp. They nodded back and forth and whatever nonverbal conversation they were having led to Franky sighing. “Okay, okay. Think about it. When’s the last time you ever saw anyone land a hit on Traffy?”

That was a tough question to answer. Truthfully, most pirates wouldn’t touch the pirate king or his consort. The new World Government still required levels and levels of approvals to engage with either of them, and even then it’s not like Koby would grant that approval unless a lot of things had suddenly changed.

”Doesn’t matter,” Luffy decided.

“Exactly,” Franky continued. “Now tell me, why else would you want the Hearts to know?”

Another tough one. What other reason could there be?

”They were the last ones to know about you two being together,” Usopp added helpfully. Franky cleared his throat, clearly he’d wanted Luffy to get to that fact on his own. Usopp shrunk into himself sheepishly in apology.

“Yeah, I still don’t get why Torao was so embarrassed,” Luffy muttered, paying no mind to his friends' silent exchange.

”And how’d it feel knowing he was embarrassed?” Franky encouraged.

”…I…” Luffy looked down at his hands in his lap. “…Didn’t like it.”

”Bingo!” Usopp cheered. “But it wasn’t that he was embarrassed of you, was he?”

Having finally caught up to the conversation, Luffy rolled his eyes. “No,” he whined. “He’s insecure.”

“Exactly!”

”But he’s not like that anymore!”

“And this isn’t the same situation as before,” Usopp insisted. “You’re asking a trans guy to walk into a room full of people and say ‘hey everyone, I have a uterus!’”

”But they’re his nakama! And everyone knows Ikakku’s trans and it’s not like anyone’s ever been stupid about it,” Luffy pouted.

“No one’s gonna be stupid about it,” the sniper agreed. “But that doesn’t mean they can’t subconsciously change parts of how they interact with him, even if it’s only while he’s pregnant.” Usopp huffed a laugh. “Even if he weren’t a guy I’d think someone like Traffy’d want to keep it under wraps. When Kaya was pregnant tons of randos wanted to touch her belly all the time. It’s fuckin’ weird.”

“…Torao does hate it when people touch him,” Luffy muttered.

“And Ikakku talks about being trans, those are conversations she chose to have. I get to talk about it if I feel like it, like only when I'm comfortable enough to. I’ll bet Traffy hates not having a say in the matter,” Usopp sighed in empathy.

Luffy straightened up at that realization and a momentary silence fell over the trio.

Franky cleared his throat. “Just keep an eye on him if anyone’s dumb enough to fight us,” he said in summation. “He’s his own captain. Let him handle his crew.”

He hated to admit it, but Luffy knew he was right. He offered a grunt of acknowledgement and nothing else.

—

Luffy returned to the captain’s quarters of the Polar Two greeted by the sounds of his husband emptying his stomach in the en-suite bathroom. It wasn’t an uncommon state to find him in these days, but it certainly didn’t make it any better. He made his way to the ajar door and poked his head in. Law sat on the floor, forehead resting on his arm that was slung across the toilet. Upon noticing his company, he shot his husband a glare.

”Lunch taking revenge?” Luffy offered light-heartedly.

Law held his glare for a moment longer before allowing his face to soften slightly. “What else is new,” he grumbled, looking away. He decided his stomach was settling enough to relocate so he flushed the toilet and moved to get to his feet. Luffy was there in a flash, gently taking his arm.

”I don’t need any help,” Law sighed, pulling his arm back and reaching for his toothbrush. Luffy hovered, waiting for him to finish brushing his teeth before he spoke.

”I’m sorry,” he offered, hanging back in the doorframe of the bathroom while Law went to sit at his desk.

“Are you now?” Law cracked open a book, pulled a few pages of loose leaf from a precarious pile on the desk, and started to scribble on them.

“Yeah,” he replied, tentatively crossing the room to stand behind his husband. “Usopp and Franky reminded me that when you didn’t tell your crew we were together it wasn’t ‘cause you were embarrassed to be with me.”

Law placed his pen flat on his desk. “…That’s what this has been about?”

Luffy wrapped his arms around the other captain’s shoulders and nuzzled into his hair. “Maybe.”

They stayed like that in silence for a few long moments.

”I’m not embarrassed to be having your baby,” Law muttered after a while.

”I know.”

“I’m embarrassed to be having a baby period.”

“I know.”

“I’m certainly not embarrassed of her.”

“I know.”

”And I’m their captain,” Law continued. “I don’t want them thinking I’m less capable because…”

”They’d never think you’re not capable. They may be more protective though, and I get that you don’t want that.”

Law nodded. “…Yes,” he agreed, leaning back into his husband’s embrace.

“But if someone’s dumb enough to come after us, you can’t do anything stupid okay?”

That earned a hearty laugh. “Look who’s talking,” Law chuckled, looking up into Luffy’s eyes.

“I mean it!” Luffy insisted. “You’re super strong. But…” He let his hand travel down to rest protectively on the front pocket of Law’s hoodie.

“I know,” Law whispered. “If I’m being honest, I have been thinking about your point. It’d be…practical for them to know.”

Luffy grinned at that. “And you do love practical.”

Law nodded pensively.

“Anyway, you tell ‘em when you’re ready. I’ll get off your ass about it.” In one swift motion Luffy hooked an arm under his husband’s legs and whisked him out of his chair bridal style.

“Excuse me,” Law protested. “I have work to do!”

“Yeah, I got stuff to do too!” the other captain laughed, turning on his heel to close the short distance to their bed.

#my art #lawlu #lulaw #law x luffy #luffy x law #cw dysphoria #cw unplanned pregnancy #u can spot the part that's the most overt bit of all of this that i was mad abt being visibly trans when i did all these lmao #and yes i have put my grubby lil trans hands all over these characters #usopp? trans. ikakku? trans. sanji? definitely some flavor of trans

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xvysarene · 14 hours

Text

ℂ𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕫𝕖

Pairing: Xavier x Fem!Reader Words: ~3.2k Genre: Angst, Hurt/No Comfort Notice: Mentions of infidelity, blood, and wound, Y/N is not MC A/N: @brailsthesmolgurl requested angst, I hope this one is painful enough 💔 May or may not consider writing a part 2.

Clang!

The sound of the thrown stick echoed across the training room. A pair of cerulean orbs locked with yours, amazement reflected in their depths.

“That’s a lot of pent-up…energy,” your partner—professionally and romantically—fixed his attention on the wooden stick grazing his Adam's apple as he spoke.

If it was your hunter scythe, his skin would be sliced open.

You lowered it down, the adrenaline rush fading as the throbbing sensation in your knee took over. A sharp stab of pain that left your whole leg numb.

Ungracefully, you collapsed to the floor. Xavier’s hand was on your side in an instant, seeing how your face had crumpled in agony.

“You have a lot on your mind.” He felt you tensed, yet didn’t stop massaging your knee. His touch continued to work its magic, sending ripples of relief through you.

“I’m losing my touch, this desk duty is weakening me.”

“You just literally disarmed me,” he reminded, “Does this have to do with the team assignment?”

Whenever a new batch arrived, they were divided into groups with senior hunters overseeing their missions initially.

Xavier's involvement was to be expected, much like your own participation before the injury.

“Do you have anything against a particular recruit?” he treaded carefully.

You had nothing against the woman—whom you later discovered was Dr. Zayne's childhood friend and suspected the stoic doctor had a soft spot for—when you saw them together in a café a few times. In fact, she was quite a lovely woman.

What unsettled you was Xavier's uncharacteristic ease in opening up to her, despite his usual reservations with strangers.

“No,” you answered genuinely, “but do you have anything you’d like to tell me?”

Xavier’s fingers paused. “What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t know, Xav, you seem distracted lately.”

How could you miss the way his eyes sought out the junior hunter every morning when she arrived, even when you both were engaged in a conversation?

Or how could you miss his unmistakable comfortable stance as he interacted with the hunter, when the ring of her laughter filled up the bullpen?

His eyes slid sideways. “I need to focus on supervising the recruits, Captain Jenna's counting on me.”

Drawing closer, Xavier reached out, hand tenderly cupping your cheek. “I’m sorry if I’ve been distant.”

He noticed you biting down on your lips, wearing them out. It was the first time he had seen you visibly unsettled.

“If this is truly affecting you, I can ask someone else to take over my place.”

“No, it’s fine.”

You wouldn't allow yourself to be the reason he stepped back from his responsibilities, even if it meant sacrificing your own peace of mind.

“Just... please, talk to me if there's ever something on your mind,” you urged softly.

Xavier pressed his lips gently against your forehead. Even as the warmth of his kiss enveloped you, it couldn't dispel the pang of unease gnawing at the edges of your thoughts like it normally did.

The gnawing uneasiness, though, was justified.

With each passing day, his subtle mentions and veiled references of her painted your conversations.

It became even more apparent as your keen eyes caught glimpses of the growing sparkle in his gaze, the way his eyes slightly lingered on her, speaking volumes.

It might have gone unnoticed by others, but not you.

Not when you had once recognised the same tender looks directed towards you, before the two of you became a couple.

“Will you, for once, stop bringing her up?”

The room plunged into a tense silence, even the rhythmic tick-tick-tick of Jeremiah's fingers typing came to a sudden halt.

“Uh I’ll step out—”

“Jeremiah, sit down,” your tone was firm, leaving no room for refusal.

Jeremiah, halfway rising from his seat, abruptly sat back down with a plop! onto the chair beneath him.

Perched at the edge of Jeremiah's desk, you faced Xavier across the wooden table, the recent activity on the No-Hunt Zone forgotten as he got startled by your harsh remarks. Mouth slightly hanging open as he didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence.

“Tell me, Jeremiah, did he or did he not have been casually mentioning her for the past fifteen minutes?”

The poor guy had his eyes ping-ponged between the two of you. Torn between defending his longtime friend or you—the second person he would trust his life with.

“He did,” Jeremiah eventually admitted in a tiny voice, sinking even lower into his seat upon receiving a look of exasperation from Xavier.

In a way, you felt relieved knowing that the creeping vines of jealousy within your heart didn't merely blind you to making things up.

Grateful, that someone else had also come to realise it, validating your feelings.

You watched as Xavier's eyes finally bore into yours, uncertainty swimming in their depths.

Whatever emotion reflected in your eyes caused his breath to falter, finally making him aware of the jagged rift that had gradually formed between you.

“It’s been a couple of months now. You sure there’s nothing you’d like to tell me?”

Despite the cool front, you were aware of the pain piercing your heart.

The weight of embarrassment from having Jeremiah witness the unraveling of something that had once felt solid, so unbreakable.

Xavier took a daring step, as if to bridge the gap. “Y/N, I—”

Before he could finish, yours and his hunter watches lit up red, signaling an urgent notification. A warning voice thundered not a second later.

「All available senior hunters are to report back to UNICORNS Massive Metaflux fluctuations detected at Stormcrown Summit」

With a quick "Catch you later" tossed back to Jeremiah, you were already on the move the moment the first words reached your ears.

Xavier stepped in front of your 310HM, a dangerous move as you were mere seconds away from twisting the throttle. “Please, your knee can't handle it. You'll only end up hurting yourself.”

“Now is not the time to suddenly show concern for me again,” you retorted sharply.

As you revved up the engine, he stepped back, his face troubled. And you left him behind, knowing fully well he would make it back before you either way.

The bustling HQ buzzed with urgency as hunters within a 25km radius received the emergency alert. Frantic voices and swift footsteps filling up the walls.

Walking straight to Captain Jenna, you were greeted with an all-too-familiar grimace; the same expression she had worn when she caught you in the training room instead of attending physical therapy for your injury.

“Senior hunter Y/N, reporting for duty.” Your gaze met hers head-on.

The captain sighed, slightly shaking her head as if to clear the mounting stress. “We are in dire need of all hands on deck. Some senior hunters are away on missions far from Linkon, and we’ve resorted to sending some of the best recruits.”

Despite having earned her approval, she still gave you a warning look.

“You head back when your knee starts hurting, and”—her stern gaze warned you that there would be consequences if you ever considered defying her command—“you are not to wander alone without a partner.”

Your hand instantly reached out to one of the passing hunters, luckily snatching someone you had worked together with in previous missions occasionally, noting their above-average skills.

The fluttered brows of Captain Jenna didn’t go amiss. A look of confusion passed between her and the hunter, questioning your choice of a different partner than the usual one.

Towering trees at the Stormcrown Summit were shrouded in mist, casting an aura of unpredictability over the landscape. The occasional rustle of leaves heightened your senses further, escalating the tension of the unknown lurking within.

A very much missed surge of adrenaline fueled your body as you ventured deeper into the dense forest.

“I’m surprised that you did not choose Xavier as your partner,” your companion—Adrian—initiated a conversation after the two of you eliminated some roaming Mist Knaves.

“He is busy supervising the newer guys.”

"Seems to be warming up faster than he normally would, isn’t he?"

Damn it, you forgot how one of his best skills included perceptiveness.

A short distance away, Xavier’s group made their way towards the clearing. The worried glances cast in your direction didn’t go unnoticed before the gigantic trees obscure your view.

“It’s very unexpected of him,” Adrian commented, watching the exchange between you both.

“People change,” you bit out, fully aware that you had fallen into the trap, indirectly confirming that something had indeed happened between you and Xavier.

The conversation was cut off when several Velox Venators leaped out from behind the thick foliage.

Their agility presented a challenge after spending time confined to the desk.

“As much as I love having you back on the team”—your partner’s voice rang out as he leaped back, avoiding the swing of your obsidian scythe cutting through the last beast’s tough silver hide—“it would be a shame to see you permanently sitting behind a desk after this.”

The sudden pouring thunderstorm had made the ground mushy, amplifying the pressure on your knee. Concealing the grimace of discomfort became futile at this point.

You followed his instruction to rest once the danger was cleared up, welcoming the temporary bliss of taking the pressure off your knee.

Just as you were about to truly relax, the urgent shouting of one of the hunters crackled through both of your hunter's watches, jolting you back to attention.

「Requesting backup at coordinates 45.6789° N, 87.6543° W 2 injured hunters, surrounded by Elite Wanderers, recruits extraction needed」

Profanities escaped Adrian’s mouth as he followed your leading figure closely behind, navigating through the woods with the programmed coordinates in the watch.

As you reached the clearing, you took in the scene before you. Several senior hunters had come to aid, engaged in a battle against a handful of Thunderoars.

That explained the abnormal thunderstorm.

However, a movement in your peripheral vision caught your attention, drawing your focus to a lone female hunter facing a feline predator. Its build was unusually large compared to the ones you typically encountered.

The beast had curled its tail, its sharp edge gleaming with an ominous sheen, poised to strike.

“Shit!” You sprinted forward as you watched her moment of hesitation. A hesitation that could kill her.

White, blinding pain shot up your leg as you lunged forward, pushing the recruit from the line of attack.

The searing pain in your abdomen came next, stealing the air from your lungs.

There wasn't enough time to dodge the razor-sharp tail as you staggered both from the momentum and the uneven, soft terrain.

The ground rumbled as thorny vines quickly encircled each of the Spurtail’s legs, ensnaring it in a tight grip.

Even amidst the haze of agonizing pain, your Evol reacted, defending its owner.

You pushed through the pain, striking the Wanderer’s broken protocore shield as it trashed against the barbed tendrils that had nearly swallowed its form.

A wave of exhaustion washed over you as the Spurtail deteriorated. The earth tilted and your knees buckled, scythe slipping from your grasp, clattering to the ground.

When the tell-tale sign of darkness crept into your vision, a glimmer of light danced off a familiar light-ash blonde.

His long legs raced towards you. Running, running, and running…

Past you.

“Y/N, Y/N! Are you still with me?”

Captain Jenna’s face appeared in your line of vision, lips set into a grim line.

When was your back lowered to the ground?

The sky above had cleared up, you realised. A stark difference from the gloom descending upon your heart like a heavy rain.

“Come on, Y/N, you gotta stay with us. You're stronger than you thought.”

The agony intensified as you registered a pair of hands pressing down on your abdomen. A guttural groan ripping out of your throat.

Pearl-red blood, your blood, stained her hands as she tapped your cheeks, desperate to have your focus on her.

“Hey, you can’t leave us, do you hear me?!”

The darkness was almost overwhelming at this point, the words that Captain Jenna shouted becoming incoherent in your ears.

For the first time, you witnessed a look of terror overtaking her eyes as they briefly flickered down to your abdomen once again.

It was unsettling. The mature woman was not one to show such raw emotion frequently.

As your head drooped to the side, you caught a glimpse of his outline crouching beside the female hunter you had pushed away.

Close in proximity, yet intolerably distant.

There was a longing for those blue orbs to be the last thing you looked at before the darkness consumed everything.

Even with the soothing hum of the medical equipment in the backdrop, a sense of alarm began to creep in as you felt the shift in the air.

“Didn’t the nurse say no visits?”

It only took one air evacuation, just like in those action movies and medical dramas, for people to flock to your bedside once you were out of the ICU.

On the third day, you asked the nurses to refuse any visitors, craving solitude.

“I… may have walked past them.”

By “walked”, it meant that he had teleported to the room. There wasn't a sound of the door opening and closing.

Adrian’s self-blame was predictable, given that he was supposed to stick with you during the mission.

Captain Jenna’s shift from relief to light scolding didn't come as a surprise either.

Even the junior hunter’s profuse apologies were manageable.

Seeing Xavier’s guilt-stricken face several steps away from your bed, however, unleashed a whirlwind of emotion you weren’t sure you were ready to cope with.

“I should have been the one in that bed, not you.”

Your laugh was devoid of humour. “Why? So you can be her hero instead?”

“No!” Distress was evident in his voice and posture as he rushed towards you. “You shouldn't have to endure this. You shouldn't even have joined the mission.”

“We get hurt, it’s part of the job.”

“You almost died!” voice cracking, he collapsed into the seat beside your bed, head buried in hands.

Years of knowing Xavier and that was the first time you had seen him crumble. Gone was his usual calm exterior, replaced by a broken man, drowning in regret.

Even then, your battered heart couldn’t stop the trembling remark, heavy with disappointment and anguish, from escaping your lips, “Yet you ran past me.”

Doe eyes, bright with unshed tears, snapped to yours.

People had said that traumatic events may lead to memory loss, but that day was etched vividly in your mind, each detail imprinted like a nightmare festering in your brain.

“Y/N—”

“Anything you say will not change the fact that things will never be the same between us.”

His face fell, mouth opening and closing, but no words came out.

Finally, he settled on a meek plea, “Please forgive me.”

You breathed out, slowly adjusting your position on the bed. Face laced in discomfort as you felt the stitches being tugged.

You were lucky, so to speak, as the Spurtail’s strike narrowly avoided any internal organs. But, the gash was pretty deep, resulting in a significant amount of blood loss.

“Did you know that you used to look at me the same way?” the words tumbled out, a rhetorical question that had been lingering on the tip of your tongue for far too long.

He couldn't refute anything.

A sad smile painted your lips. “That should’ve been my only warning, yet I still hopelessly had faith in you.”

If it was possible, the guilt etched on his face deepened. He couldn’t miss the shift to past tense in your words, a bold declaration of the trust he had shattered.

“Whether you realised it or not, you’ve made your choice, Xavier. It’s time to put an end to this—to us.”

The blooms that Jeremiah had placed on the windowsill the day before suddenly lost their luster, mirroring the drastic change in emotion happening within you.

Xavier’s eyes flickered to the pot, helplessly watching the wilted petals droop, surrendering to the vines creeping up from the soil and entangling them with their thorny embrace.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” his words hang heavily in the air.

You didn’t tell him that he was wrong. No, the deep wound he had inflicted could never be healed by words alone.

Eyes fluttering closed, you were determined to keep the tears at bay. “Please close the door on your way out.”

After a few weeks that felt excessively long, you eventually received the green light to return to work.

The desk will be your friend longer, unfortunately, until you fully complete the knee therapy and succeed the reevaluation exam, as per Captain Jenna’s order.

Adrian, still feeling at fault, was determined to fill you in with what had happened while you were gone. Including the gossip.

You were the least surprised to hear about the relationship between Dr. Zayne and the recruit.

If the doctor’s visits during your hospital stay—expressing multiple gratitudes for saving his childhood friend and making sure you had the best care—weren’t any indicator, then you might as well be dense.

“He’s been very closed off,” Adrian remarked as your eyes strayed towards Xavier.

The lone hunter was back to distancing himself from everyone, taking solo missions and not talking unless prompted to.

He was just doing what he did best: tracking down Wanderers and not socializing.

But, you noticed the freshly brewed coffee every morning on your desk, made just the way you liked it.

You noticed the hot packs appearing whenever your face pulled in discomfort from the stiffness of your knee.

Noticed that he never left before you, even when he had the rest of the day off after returning early from a mission.

Noticed, the stolen glances he sent your way.

Was it because he felt consumed by guilt? Or was it because he had to swallow his own bitter pill, watching someone he cared about chose another person?

“They still have your favourite egg tarts.”

Startled, you looked up from the monitor to see Xavier setting two food bags on your desk.

It was the first time he had spoken directly since your return.

When you saw him leave earlier, you thought that he had finally given up and gone home, as you persisted in gathering information about the threatening Elite Wanderer well past working hours.

Even Captain Jenna left first, leaving you alone in the bullpen as the night shift went to grab dinner.

“Thank you,” you murmured gratefully. You opened the bags to reveal a sandwich in one and the egg tarts you used to enjoy together in the other.

Without hesitation, you handed him one of the pastries before he could step away. His eyes widened slightly before accepting it with a faint smile, a sight you hadn't seen in so long.

In the dimly lit room, Xavier’s eyes gleamed like the depths of the night sky, each gaze resembling a twinkling star in a vast galaxy.

It would have been easy to give in to those eyes, to his profound concerns.

But the scar left a permanent mark.

And you were still not able to distinguish whether its sight reopened an old wound or if it proved that you had truly healed.

#ᝰ.ᐟ 𝐱𝐞𝐩𝐡'𝐬 writing nook #love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace x y/n #love and deepspace x you #xavier #xavier x reader #xavier x y/n #xavier x you #angst #hurt/no comfort

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bakuhatsufallinlove · 1 day

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Hello, have you seen the latest ch of MHA 423? Is it true that bkdk really killed kurogiri? How do you feel about shigaraki dying in the end and deku reaction towards it? Sorry for asking too many questions but I really can't stand those bkdk killed kurogiri allegations and your metas of bkdk are really good.

Anon, I'm gonna be honest with you. My feelings can be summed up as follows:

Stuff like this is the reason you don't see me posting reactions every chapter. Jokes and conspiracy theories and "omg what if" posts are all in good fun, but every week, some people talk like this is The Absolute Last Word on every plot line even vaguely referenced in the chapter.

And I don't get it at all. When I'm reading the new chapters, the most I can tell you is that I have fun and I find it interesting. I'm engaged. I'm curious to see what comes next and how it's gonna pan out. I definitely have my own thoughts, feelings, and hopes! But I put them in a little stasis box of anticipation, ready for when I can find out more.

So when people lose their shit over something, it just feels so unnecessary to me. Especially something that happens right at the very end of the chapter, because more often than not that's the jumping off point for the next installment, as opposed to a cut-away to a different scene.

How many times have we gotten a cliff-hanger or shocking ending to a chapter, only for the very next chapter to reverse the event or reveal we were misled about its meaning? How many times has that happened in this very scene?

The reason I can write thousands of words analyzing Deku vs. Kacchan 2 is because it's over. The entire event is complete. Maybe there will be future chapters that reference it or inform our view of it, but it's done. This final arc isn't done--hell, this scene isn't even remotely done!

Furthermore, I am of the opinion that people saying bkdk killed Kurogiri probably don't like Izuku or Katsuki to begin with, so I really don't think anything out of my mouth is going to persuade them one way or the other. And I'm certainly not going to waste my breath trying to argue about something we'll have an answer for in like, two weeks.

Ongoing series thrive on making you want to know what happens next. Me personally, I'm having a good time wanting to know what happens next.

I guess the only thing I want to ask the people making these claims is: Why do you read mha like you're waiting for it to upset you? Why are you expecting this series to disappoint you?

The answer isn't for my benefit, just so you know.

#asks #anon asks #mha spoilers #mha manga spoilers #I feel for you anon #every week I'm like #I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT!!!#AND PARTY EVERY DAY!!#while apparently droves of other people are having the worst time of their lives???#to be clear I am not rocking and rolling over character death #I am simply enthusiastically and sincerely enjoying the ride this story is giving me #sometimes that involves sadness!!!#whomst among us has not cried in the club

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lilveeblog · 2 days

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girls night

the ladies of the bau have a girls night but jj’s regressed mind has other plans

1.7k words

inspired by the recent women of the bay’s adventures !

Emily climbed in first, her wine glass fullest and she slid into the warm water.

“Oh it’s so nice.” She practically moaned, closing her eyes and taking in the feeling. Penelope was next, eager to get in the water.

“Hm hm hm, this is what I’m talking about babies.”

Then JJ, she slid in next to Emily, making the girls laugh.

“Can’t get away from your girlfriend hm?” Tara asked, JJ stuck out her tongue in reply and settled next to her girlfriend. Emily slid one hand around her waist and kissed her cheek. JJ had had it tough at work the last few weeks but they didn’t want to talk about it. Strictly no work talk! Tara got in last, sitting herself opposite JJ and smiled widely.

“We deserve this.”

“Oh we do,” Emily replied.

“To the badass bau ladies!” Penelope cheered, holding up her glass.

The group chorused in reply and the familiar clink was heard in the hot tub.

The night went on, the women slid in and out, snacked and drank and most of them were feeling quite drunk, apart from the smaller blonde in the corner. All she felt was small. It was taking her longer to get the jokes, to be engaged and she was finding the bubbles a lot more playful than relaxing. The other women laughed whilst JJ spun her fingers through her bubbles and pulled them around her body, creating a border for her castle. Tara watched on, picking up on the quiet girl's behaviour. She left her too it, aware of what was happening but not ready to take her away from the fun just yet. She simply kept a closer eye on the slipping girl.

“What do you think Jay?” Emily asked, slurring her words. She slid over in the seat and wrapped both her arms around her girlfriend. But in the process, broke her girl's bubble circle. JJ let out a mighty whine and pushed Emily away from her and scrambled for more bubbles. Emily sat up immediately and looked at the other two.

“She slipped about half an hour ago,” Tara whispered.

“And you knew?” Emily asked her. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“She’s content, happy, I didn’t want to make a scene of it,” Tara explained.

“Okay okay,” Emily said and leaned back, assessing JJ.

“Jay?” She asked. JJ ignored her, grumpy that she ruined her castle walls.

“Hey, little monkey,” Emily insisted and kicked her lightly under the water. JJ groaned and moved away, kicking her caregiver back harder.

“Ow. JJ!” Emily groaned.

“Eave me lone,” JJ whispered and turned away from the group.

“Do you need to go to bed?”

“Nooo! Jus payin!” JJ whined.

“Okay Jay,” Emily sighed, “if you need the toilet or want to go to bed you just tell me, okay?” JJ didn’t respond.

“Yeah, no peeing in my pool missy,” Garcia teased and JJ let out a little giggle.

JJ sat in her corner, playing with the bubbles but she couldn’t help notice how the other women had changed their conversation and their looks in her direction had become more frequent, she felt awful. She was fighting in her mind, she didn’t want to be small, not now. But she couldn’t help it, she was tired and stressed and exhausted from all the work and everything. As much as it was finally time for a girls night as they all get the time off, she hadn’t been able to slip in weeks- not properly at least and this was going to be her only chance and her brain just did it automatically. But she wanted to get involved in their jokes and them laughing and the wine. She felt alone and annoying. She did need a wee but didn’t want to tell them. She wanted to go to bed but didn’t want to put them out. She wanted to cuddle and nurse but she also desperately wanted to be big. Why was her brain so silly and stupid?

“Oh! Toilet time!” Penelope announced suddenly, jumping up. JJ’s head lifted too, she could sneak off with P and go pee and come back and she wouldn’t be upsetting anyone - right?

“Pen! Wait!” Emily said, JJ looked at her. Emily looked at her too and nodded her head.

“Go with Penny, you’re okay.” JJ didn’t hesitate, she jumped out the pool, being careful not to slip and caught up with Penelope. She was holding her hand out for her but JJ quickly crossed her arms. She was a big girl, she didn’t need to hold hands.

“Okay grumpy girl,” Penelope laughed.

“She hates herself for this,” Emily sighed when her girl was out of earshot.

“What do you mean?” Tara asked.

“That she’s slipped, she’s angry at herself for it. I can see the cogs in her head.”

“Why don’t you say something?”

“Because if I say something she’ll get more upset with me, I just have to be there for her.”

“Why don’t we call it a night in the tub and go inside? It’s getting cold anyway,” Tara suggested.

“That’s a good shout, come on.”

The pair headed inside with the wine and their towels and waited for Penelope and JJ to emerge from the bathroom. Emily decided to set up a little corner for her Jay. She wanted her to still enjoy herself and have fun but didn’t want to stop their fun at the same time and didn’t want JJ to feel worse than she felt currently.

JJ came out shaking her hands in her own world, she completely didn’t notice the women now sat inside.

Emily snuck over behind her and grabbed her hips, pulling her up for a cuddle.

“Gotcha!” she cheered and JJ screamed and began to laugh as Emily began tickling her sides.

“MAMA STOP!” JJ screamed and kicked out her legs as soon as she could. Emily smiled at her little one and JJ huffed.

“Not small,” she grumbled and crossed her arms.

“It’s okay to be,” Emily said and helped JJ off the floor.

“Not.”

“It is Jay, no one minds.”

“I mind,” JJ grumbled and stomped off to the corner. She sat in the corner Emily had made for her and kept her arms crossed defiantly. She was grumpy and did not want to be disturbed.

“Okay, you just sit there and let me know if you need anything, okay baby?”

“Whatever mama,” JJ replied, turning away. She grabbed her iPad and headphones and slid them on her head ready to submerge herself in Peppa Pig, although she was definitely not small.

About an hour passed and the girls looked over their JJ in the corner, she was engrossed in her show but they were ready for sleep. Unfortunately, Emily did not bring any of her little nighttime things, not even her paci which meant it would be a nursing night- if JJ settled enough to allow it.

Penelope and Tara went to the bathroom first to shower and get ready for bed whilst Emily attended to the little one.

“Hey sweet girl, you okay?” Emily asked. She slipped the headphones off JJ’s head and JJ whined loudly.

“What wan mama?” she’d slipped a lot further and it made Emily smile, the way her little voice came out.

“It’s bedtime. Do you want to shower?” Emily asked. JJ thought about it for a moment and tapped Emily’s chest.

“Wif wo!” she said and climbed out of her nest and into her caregivers lap. Emily was so glad the hour to herself in her own world helped her slip properly, slip enough to not care about anything else.

“Of course, monkey. That's fine. Now we have to wait for Tara and Garcia to finish as they are hogging the showers but then we can jump in and get ready. “

“Paci?” JJ asked, leaning back into her caregiver's hold and looking up at the raven-haired woman.

“Mama didn't bring it, baby, I'm sorry.”

JJ huffed and turned back around with a pout on her face.

“But we can nurse all night if you like.”

“In here?”

“Yeah angel, the girls don't mind.” JJ blushed at the thought of the other woman seeing her doing something so vulnerable but knew they truly didn't mind. And plus, Tara had seen it before.

Emily got JJ showered and ready for bed in her pyjamas and they snuggled up on one of the pull-out sofas.

“Mama, mama,” JJ cooed and reached for Emily under the covers, with the fan on it was cool and nice which all the women appreciated.

“Mama’s here,” Emily smiled and grabbed her girl's hands. It wasn't long until JJ was latched to her nipple, nursing. Penelope walked past and cooed softly- despite the blanket over her face, it was still a cute sight.

“Pen, can we have a towel for her to sleep on?” Emily asked, thinking in case of accidents.

“In case she has an accident?” Tara asked.

“Oh I can do better than a towel for that,” Penelope said softly and ran to her bedroom. Emily was grateful they both understood but felt the glare from her little one.

“Its’ to keep the sofa safe from your little bladder,” Emily teased and tickled JJ’s side a little. JJ wiggled under the covers and pushed the hand away, still keeping her latch on Emily’s nipple. Nursing was her favourite comfort.

Penelope returned after a few minutes with a waterproof bedsheet. Emily smiled and they worked as a four to put it on. JJ climbed straight back under the covers and reached for Emily, ready to go to sleep - the whole might have exhausted her.

It wasn't long before she was fast asleep, the other women chatted a little more about the smaller girl, endearingly. JJ, big or small was always the most protected of the group, the most loved and cared for. They all adored their sweet thing and wanted to keep it special- even on girls’ night.

#criminal minds #criminal minds agere #little!jj #jennifer jareau #little space #jj #jj criminal minds #cg!emily #emily prentiss #jj x emily #tara lewis!caregiver #penelope garcia #tara lewis

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