#do yall see this and get lost just daydreaming in your head about how that moment happened bc i do it everytime

[strawberryruffilo]

im def never getting over the fact that they dont post pics like this anymore

[watchmegetobsessed]

BULLETPROOF

A/N: *screams in excitement* its here!!! its finally here!!! im so happy i finally got to finish a longer fic without hitting rockbottom with it. this one was very easy to write, i think i was heavily inspired by the night agent series on netflix lol now im very excited for yall to read it!!

WORD COUNT: 12.5k

WARNING: gun use, getting shot, blood, stalking, bullying

SUMMARY: Being Eroda's first daughter is not all sunshine and rainbows. It's tough out there when people are so fast to judge you and turn their back on you. But there is one person who's been there for you all along. Your bodyguard, Harry.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

The wine is nice. The salad is tragic, probably the worst you’ve ever had. You wonder how dessert will turn out to be, could be good or poisonous at this point.

The company?

Well, at least he is not staring at your breasts.

Going out with Jaiden sounded a lot more fun when he asked you out in the library, but now that you’ve been listening to him speak for the past thirty-two minutes, you’re counting it, he appears to be just another douche who wants to brag about you at the next frat party. He probably thinks he is doing well and he might get lucky once you leave the restaurant, but there are two reasons why that won’t happen.

One, you spotted some tomato sauce on his left hand before he left to the restroom and when he came back it was still there, he did not wash his hands and then touched the garlic bread. You’ve pushed the basket out of your view discreetly after that. It’s already a very strong point, but the second one is the real deal.

There is absolutely no way the three agents, one by the door, one by the window and one at two tables from you would be okay with assisting to your hookup. Well, it’s not that they would have a choice, if you think of it. But think about it: even if he weren’t a pig, this is how it would go.

Arriving to Jaiden’s building you would be told to wait outside with Morrison, while Jackson and Styles go up and check out Jaiden’s place. Then they would come down to get you. If the mood weren’t dead by this point, you’d have to go up and start the action with one agent down in front of the building, one by the front door and then the worst, you just know Styles would stand by the bedroom door like a statue, listening closely to everything happening inside.

Then when it would be over you’d have to leave with the three men around you and return to your place. Madness. Pure comedy.

“What do you think?”

Jaiden’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts about the ridiculous daydream of tonight and you realize you have no idea what he’s been talking about in the last seven minutes.

“Um, sorry?” you clear your throat, reaching for the wine.

“I was asking you about how…”

You look over his shoulder and spot Styles through the glass door, zoning out of the conversation in record time.

He is wearing civil clothes, all three of the agents are, that was the deal when you’re out somewhere, with friends or on a date which happen once in a leap year, to be honest. He’s wearing a black t-shirt with a black bomber jacket over, simple, dark jeans and trainers. You wonder if this is actually his style, if this is how he dresses when he is not on duty, when he is running errands or meeting up with his friends for drinks. You only see him when he is responsible for protecting you at all cost, he’s been head of your security team for the past two years and it’s been a rollercoaster of a ride.

He was a real pain in the ass at the beginning, he would jump at every possible noise, he dragged you out of class once because someone’s pen clicked louder than the usual. Fuck, you lost count of the times you screamed at him, asking what was his problem, if he lost his mind and every time he just stood there, like a fucking rock and then just nodded at the end and carried on with his nonsense.

It took some time and lots of communication to find balance. You realized he would never listen to you when you’re screaming from the top of your lungs and you had to accept that he is just doing his job. So you sat down with him and your father, the president of Eroda to talk about boundaries.

Things have been better since then and the two of you actually work well together. Most of the times.

He was next to you at every major event, ups and downs, he drove you home after you confronted your last serious boyfriend about how he cheated on you with three different girls, you sobbed like a baby and couldn’t even open the lock on your front door. He took the keys gently from your hand and did it for you. When you woke up in the morning the fridge was stocked with your favorites. You never asked, but you know he did it.

He has attended concerts and parties with you, shadowing you even when you had to get tampons in the middle of the night. You bet he knows what brand and size you use too at this point. As much as he’d gotten on your nerves millions of times… you like the guy. He is straight forward, always speaks his mind if asked, he sees things in a very rational way. He’s ambitious and hard-working and most of all, trustworthy.

He might actually be your best friend.

How tragic, you consider your head of security to be your best friend! This must be the end here…

“You’re really not listening, are you?” Jaiden laughs, but it’s dry, he looks pissed when you look back at him.

“Sorry, it’s been… a long week. And honestly, I kind of lost interest when you started talking about football, since I know nothing about it.”

“Wow, okay, so what were you expecting? Brainstorming about possible ways to stop the climate change?” he scoffs and you actually think about just standing up and leaving.

“No, but on a date you usually talk about things you both like. I guess we have nothing in common, then. So why don’t we—“

“You really know how to make people feel stupid.”

“Excuse me?” Your eyebrows shoot up, this is getting interesting.

“Just because daddy runs the country, doesn’t mean you’re above us all. Don’t have to be such a snob.”

“Oh, it wasn’t even me being a snob,” you retort with a forced smile as you grab your bag from the table and from the corner of your eyes you already see the agents moving. “It’s been a lovely evening, but I think we’re better as… I would say friends, but it wouldn’t be true. Bye, Jaiden.”

You stand and plan to march past him to meet Morrison and Jackson to head out, but Jaiden is not done, it seems. He jumps to his feet and his hand grabs your upper arm, pulling you back. He barely just opens his mouth when Hell breaks loose.

Morrison is first to get his hands on him, yanking him away from you while Jackson tears his hand off you, then it gets twisted behind him and Styles arrives, smacking your date up against the wall.

The whole restaurant is staring at you and you just want the ground to open beneath you.

You stop at your front door out of instinct, already knowing they have to sweep through the place before you could enter. Styles stands beside you and waits for Morrison and Jackson to return. When it’s confirmed you walk in, a blank look on your face.

“Have a nice night, guys. Thank you for tonight,” you tell them in a robotic voice. Morrison and Jackson says good night and you hear the door closing, but you know you’re not alone.

Styles stands by the door and you can feel him watching your every move as you put your heels away and take your earrings out.

“Are you gonna give me a lecture about choosing guys more wisely?” you ask, finally facing him. He’s standing with his hands clasped together at the front, his usual pose, but it’s a bit odd without his usual suit.

“No,” he answers shortly and you wait for him to say whatever is on his mind. “Just wanted to ask if you’re alright.”

“My arm is fine, you don’t ha—“

“I wasn’t asking about your arm.”

You stare back at him in silence, everything just dawns on you all at once and your chest feels like burning.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you breathe out, but then a tear rolls down your face.

You see the change in him instantly. His eyes soften as he walks over to you, his gaze frantically searching your face, probably trying to figure out what to do. They don’t tell agents how to deal with young, crying women who feel like they are going to die alone.

“I’m fine, really,” you say again and he pulls out a tissue from his pocket, handing it over to you.

“He was a douche. Don’t take it too seriously.”

“How many disastrous dates have I been on in the past year?” you ask with a shaking voice. He doesn’t answer, just clenches his jaw. “You know damn well that it was my eleventh. You were there at all of them. I can’t help but start to think that something must be wrong with me and not with them.”

“Nothing is wrong with you. They were… weird guys. They were the problem, not you.”

“So then it’s just my taste that’s trash, right?” you let out a bitter laugh, hoping that making fun of yourself would help, but it doesn’t. It never does.

“Finding the right person is hard. You have to give it time.”

“I’m impatient, if you haven’t noticed.”

“I have. The first day I met you.”

There it is.

That teeny tiny smile that barely just curls up the corners of his mouth but it drives you insane. Because it’s so rare, it’s so intimate and every time you see it the urge to kiss it gets harder and harder.

Yes, it’s such a cliché, but you do have a crush on your bodyguard. You fought it, you really did, but one day you had to realize there’s nothing you can do about it. Now you’re just trying to live with it but moments like this make it really hard not to overstep certain boundaries. For one, you really shouldn’t have feelings for someone whose job is to protect your life at all cost. Your father would have a heart attack if he found out you’re hooking up with an agent. And two… he might be nice to you, a real friend, but you feel like there’s no way he would ever feel the same way about you. Hell, sometimes, on your worse days you even question his friendship. What if it’s all just the job for him? To take care of your fragile little soul?

You’re awfully lonely.

“Get some rest, you have an 8 am class in the morning.”

He steps back and the smile is gone just like that.

“Yes sir!” you salute him, to which you just get a bored look before he takes one last look around and walks out to check in with the night shift agents outside your door.

You’d rather spend this Saturday evening locked up in your bedroom, watching Criminal Minds and eating popcorn, but tonight is one of those occasions where you have to make an official appearance as the president’s daughter.

You’ve definitely woken up on the wrong side of the bed, nothing went as you planned so far and you even had a fight with Styles because he ended your morning run earlier when a group of obnoxious fratboys appeared on the football field next to the running track and they accidentally threw a ball in your way.

You have not talked to him since, haven’t even seen him, but you know for a fact he will be coming with you tonight. He is there at every official event, never missing one.

There’s a soft knock on the front door just when you’ve finished getting dressed. You shuffle over to the door and opening you find yourself facing Styles in his usual suit, a change from the workout clothes he wore in the morning.

Fuck, you want to act grumpy still, but he looks especially good with slightly more tamed than usually and he is freshly shaven.

“Ready to go?” he asks.

“Not yet. Come and help me, please,” you say as you turn around, but you notice he is not following you. “Come on, I won’t bite your head off.”

With a tiny frown he finally moves and follows you into your bedroom where you grab the diamond necklace you want to wear tonight.

“Can you put it on, please?”

He takes the necklace, holding it so gently, you have never seen him handle something with so much care.

Maybe only you.

You turn around and hold your hair up as he reaches around your neck and you bit back a moan when his fingers brush against your collarbone. He fidgets with the clasp for a few moments before taking a step back once it’s done.

“Do you think I can make an early Irish exit tonight?” you ask, stepping into your heels and he offers you a hand that you gladly take to help the process. Once you’re done you head out, Styles following you right behind.

“Don’t think the president would appreciate it.”

“Oh, I know him well, I think I can have a pass from him.”

It’s another event where you feel absolutely useless, you’re just there so your father could show off.

“…And this is my daughter, Y/N. She is studying law!... She is top of her class, yes… Isn’t she a lovely young woman?...”

The smile on your face starts to hurt when you decide to take a break from all the guests that you know nothing about but they all seem to be very familiar with you.

“I’m gonna go out for a bit,” you tell Styles who’s been your shadow all night, three other agents watching your every step as well from different points of the room.

“Let me che—“

“I think there’s no danger out on the balcony, everyone has been thoroughly checked here, I’ll be fine for five minutes.”

You have a staring match for a minute where he weighs in on your words before finally nodding.

“Five minutes,” he says, opening the door for you.

“Start the fucking clock,” you mumble under your breath.

As you stand by the railing, staring out into the night you feel more deflated than ever. Like you’ve lost every ounce of energy and the urge to just scream is quite tempting. This is not the life you dreamed of, but it is what your father always wanted and you sometimes feel like a terrible daughter for being so displeased. You do have privileges others would never get to experience, but you’ve never felt lonelier and more out of place. The way here showed you how shallow your friendships have been, now only have about three people you consider your friend and one is your bodyguard, one is studying in Switzerland and the third is… Wait, there’s no third. That’s it, you have two friends.

You hear Styles stepping closer and you already know what he is about to say.

“I know my time is up, but if you dare to remind me, I’m pushing you off this balcony.”

Turning around you face him, ready to fight him for some more time, but you’re surprised to see him with that tiny smile on his face.

“You’re really moody today,” he states, but it’s not one of those smartass comments he usually makes, he is teasing you.

“Surprising?”

“A little bit. Are you… Are you still upset about your date?” His face turns serious.

“I was never upset about the date specifically. I was upset because… Whatever, it doesn’t matter.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“Stop being so fucking polite,” you groan.

“I can’t be rude to you, I would lose my job.”

“You’ve been rude to me on several occasions! Especially at the beginning!” you accuse him.

“I was never rude. I was honest.”

“Jesus, you are so annoying,” you roll your eyes that earns a smirk from him.

“That’s not my job, but I tend to be that often.”

“I might be moody, but you’re awfully cheeky tonight. What’s gotten into you?”

You head back inside, Styles following you.

“Don’t know, guess I’m just in a good mood.”

“Alright, then I’ll need a drink to put up with this new side of yours.”

And that’s what you did, but you didn’t stop at one drink. You didn’t plan to, but you successfully got so drunk Styles had to rescue you out of the venue before your father saw you. After all, you did make an Irish exit.

In the car you can tell Harry is not in the same good mood, he looks rather pissed as he drives you back home, constantly checking the mirrors to see if Morrison and Jackson are behind you.

“Aw, did I make your job harder?” you pout, but then start laughing as you look at his hard stare. His profile looks annoyingly beautiful and you just want to draw the slope of his nose with your finger.

“No, but it would have been nice if I didn’t have to bring you out through the back door on my shoulder, because you kept running away.”

You start laughing as he recites what happened just about fifteen minutes ago when he was trying to chase you down to get you into the car and away from anyone that could ruin your father’s political career if they saw his daughter running around drunk.

“Don’t be so pissed, your eyebrows will glue together one day, you pull the together way too much,” you snort out a laugh as you slide lower in your seat.

It’s an hour long drive and of course, you fall asleep soon. When you open your eyes next, you see that you’re already in the garage of your building.

“Come on, you need to get to bed.” Styles opens the car door, but you’re still half drunk and half asleep, so you just mumble something and close your eyes back. “Y/N, you can’t spend the night in the car.”

“Says who?” you breathe out.

For a few seconds nothing happens and you start drifting back to sleep when you feel an arm behind your back and one under your knees. You faintly realize that you’re being carried up to your apartment and when you force yourself to open your eyes, you realize that it’s Styles.

“Mm, is this also in your job description?” you groggily tease him, barely able to keep your eyes open. “Mr. Styles. Harry. Can I… call you that?”

“Call me whatever you want,” he answers and then waits in front of the apartment while it’s checked out. With the last bits of your energy you study his face that’s now dangerously up close. He is carrying you like you weigh nothing, his strong hold keeping you safe.

“Oh, don’t tell me stuff like that,” you chuckle, your eyes closing as you push down a yawn. You hear the agents coming out of your apartment, saying it’s clear before Harry starts walking again and a few moments later you’re laid down on your bed.

“You have to change, Y/N,” he tells you, pulling your heels off your sore feet. Groaning, you sit up and he helps you up to a standing position before turning around to walk out, but you stop him, pulling him back by his hand.

“I can’t get this off alone,” you say, nodding down at your dress. You catch the hesitation in his eyes as he weighs in the situation and steps back at last.

You turn around and move your hair so he can access the zipper. He doesn’t move instantly and you’re almost about to turn around when you finally feel his touch on your back. He places one hand to your shoulder blade, holding the dress in place while he pulls the zipper down with the other.

Slowly.

So slowly, it’s almost like foreplay.

Especially since you have no bra underneath, so the lower he gets the more skin he is able to see. The silky dress loosens around your body and you know he is looking at your bare back. With one hand you keep the dress to your chest, but the other one lets go of your hair as you turn back around to face him. 

The alcohol is working eagerly in your system and you’re feeling blunt and risky as you hold your chin high with a half smirk.

“Where did your cheekiness go, Harry?”

“I’m gonna go now.” He gulps hard as he backs away towards the door, but you follow him.

“Am I that scary? That you’re running away?”

“Y/N, stop.” He looks into your eyes as he finally stops and his green irises appear dangerously dark as he stares back at you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you shrug innocently as you keep walking towards him until you’re just inches away from his chest. “Have you never thought of me like that?”

He doesn’t answer, but you don’t see disgust on his face and it’s enough for you to keep pushing.

“Because I have. Several times. On nights when I knew you were outside and then other times when I didn’t know where you were but I was hoping you were thinking of me.”

He is still completely silent, though his eyes are throwing fireworks your way when one of the straps of your dress slips down your shoulder.

“I want you and I want you to want me too, Harry,” you whisper as you move even closer, your hand that’s holding your dress pushing to his chest while the other moves up to the base of his neck. His skin is burning and you’re desperate to feel it underneath his crispy dress shirt too. 

But before you could close the gap, he pulls back and it’s like a slap across your face.

“Go to bed, Y/N. You need to sleep.”

“But think about it, you could brag about fucking the president’s daughter, wouldn’t you want that? You’d be the man, Harry.”

Your words are like venom as you look at him, your chest heaving, your heart hammering under your hand. 

“Stop talking before you say something you might regret,” he warns you.

“So you’re not man enough to fuck me? How should I trust you with my life then if you can’t even make me come?” you call after him when he is already out of the bedroom.

He freezes and the words sink in as you stare at the back of his head. You expect him to turn around and lecture you, to tell you how cheap you sounded, but instead he just walks out of the apartment and leaves you to your spiraling, drunk thoughts.

You realize you never actually knew panic and terror until you wake up the next morning, realizing what you did last night. That you have to face Harry after you almost begged him to fuck you and then said he is not man enough to be your guard because he didn’t have sex with you.

You have an afternoon yoga class on Sunday that you very much consider canceling on just so you don’t have to face Harry, but you can’t hide in your apartment forever, you’d have to meet him again sooner or later. So when it’s time for you to leave and you hear the knock on your door you open it with shaking hands, relief washing over you instantly when you find DeLuca standing in front of you, no trace of Harry.

That means you have some more time to figure out how to deal with the situation you got yourself into. Yoga actually helps you find some peace of mind, but only until you leave and catch on Jackson’s radio before getting into the car, Harry’s voice asking for a report.

He is working and he’ll be at your apartment, meaning that you have to go through the most awkward situation ever in about fifteen minutes. 

It all happens as if you were in a movie. Arriving at the garage Jackson opens the door for you, DeLuca rounds the car and right at that moment the doors to the elevator swing open and Harry walks out with two other agents. Your mouth goes dry and you’re getting ready to fake your death, but things take a turn then.

“DeLuca, take her to the second floor, it’s been cleared. Jackson, Morrow, come with us.” Harry instructs the agents and you realize something is wrong.

“What? What’s happening?” 

There’s an apartment on the second floor for the agents, like their own little headquarter and it’s usually the safe place they take you to whenever something looks suspicious. Harry looks at you, worry etched onto his face as he places a hand to your back and leads you over to DeLuca.

“There’s been a security alert while you were away, we need to check the whole building.”

“Alert? What kind?” 

“Someone tried to get into your place,” is all he says before he passes you over to DeLuca and disappears with the other agents.

The time you spend on the second floor feels like forever, but it’s actually only twelve minutes. They sweep through the whole building and check the system, trying to find out what happened, but the cameras only caught a man in a black hoodie who stopped at your door, fidgeted with the lock for a while but couldn’t get in so he left. When it’s safe for you to return to your own place you’re walked back by two agents, but the tension is still thick. 

You hear Harry doubling the agents for the rest of the day and night and he checks your apartment one last time himself again when his phone rings and you know it’s your dad calling from the tone he answers the call.

“Yes, sir. Passing the phone over,” Harry says after the briefing of the situation and then holds the phone out to you.

“Dad?”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, I wasn’t here.”

“Alright. We’ll have some extra agents around you for a while. I know you don’t like the guardedam, but we have to do it until we find out who it was.”

“Okay.”

You talk a little more and then you give the phone back to Harry, because your dad wants to have a few words with him. He listens carefully for a while and then walks out of the apartment, leaving you wondering what else there could be, but your dad could be a little too overprotective, so you’re sure he is just fussing about the situation.

You’ve just finished making yourself a cup of tea when Harry returns. He would never admit it, but you can tell this incident is stressing him out. 

“Everything alright with my dad? He didn’t tell you off or anything, right?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “But you won’t like what I’m going to say. You need to have an agent in here with you until we get to the bottom of this situation.”

“Will it be you?” The question rolls off your tongue before you could even think about it. 

“If you want me, yes.”

“I feel the safest with you.”

It’s the truth. Even though the things you told him, screamed at him, don’t agree, he is still the one you trust the most around here to have in your apartment with you.

“Okay,” he nods. “I have to talk to the team, so–”

“Wait!” you stop him from leaving, knowing well you need to have this conversation. Swallowing hard you leave the tea on the kitchen counter and round the island to get closer to him, but still keep some distance. “I want to… I want to apologize for last night. My behavior was… Unforgivable.”

“No need to apologize.”

“Don’t bullshit me,” you give him a hard look. “I had too much to drink, I didn’t… I wasn’t thinking. So… I’m sorry.”

He stares back at you for seconds that feel like forever before he finally nods and you know it’s not just a meaningless reaction to get you out of his hair.

“Okay.”

“We’re… we’re good?”

“Yes. But I really need to go now.”

“Alright,” you clear your throat as you watch him walk towards the door, but he turns back one last time. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.”

And with that, he is off to do his job.

You spend the rest of Sunday studying and you get so focused on your textbooks and notes that you totally forget about Harry’s return and you don’t even notice it. So when you wander out of your bedroom after your brain has been fried from everything you studied, you almost scream when you see Harry standing in the living room by the window.

“Holy shit!” you snap a hand to your chest to calm your racing heart.

“What happened?” He moves fast like a cat, instantly checking the room for possible dangers.

“Nothing happened, I just… forgot you’d be here,” you admit with a soft chuckle as you head out to the kitchen. “It’s kind of creepy how you’re just standing there.”

“I can see the street from here as well,” he answers, as if it was such an obvious thing to say.

As you move around the kitchen, heating some leftovers up you catch him looking at you, or to be more precise, your legs that are almost completely bare thanks to the cotton shorts you’re wearing. 

Last night was a disaster, but now that the shame has settled in you, something else has been lingering in the back of your mind. The sense of hesitation you experienced when you were trying to seduce him embarrassing yourself has been on your mind. How he didn’t move away instantly, how it looked like he was fighting himself, so it gives you the idea that a tiny part of him does look at you the same way you look at him. 

The way he is looking you up is another boost to the theory. 

“Any news about the intruder?” you casually ask, ignoring his stare that quickly slips away from you when you speak up.

“Not yet. But we’re working on it.”

“Do you think… it’s something serious? Like someone is after me?” Leaning onto the kitchen island you play with the spoon in your hand as you look at him, waiting for his response.

“I wouldn’t go into guessing. I’m more of a–”

“Of a fan of factual planning, I know,” you finish his sentence with a smile. You’ve heard it from him several times, word by word.

Grabbing the bowl you round the island and stop a few feet away from him.

“I really do trust you, Harry. With my life.”

You feel like you had to let him know again after last night. The way you questioned his ability to protect you was not fair, he gave you no reason to believe he is not the best person for the job. There’s a reason why he is head of the team.

“Thank you,” is all he says. He is back to his distant self that only focuses on work. You know in times like this it’s better to play by the rules and retreat.

“I’m gonna head to bed soon. Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N.”

Everything falls back to a somewhat normal routine. Following the incident your team almost doubles, but nothing actually happens and the building’s security system gets an update so three weeks later you’re back to your usual with only slight changes. 

Like how there’s an agent in your living room during the night.

There was a discussion about positioning someone inside your apartment and they explained to you why it’s better to have someone with you during the night. You understood and agreed to do it under one condition: you have to approve of the agents that can take the position. There are three of them and of course, Harry is in that team.

He’s been taking up the inside position as much as he can. He never asked you, but maybe he figured you know him the best and feel the most comfortable with him inside.

Most of the time he hangs out in the living room. He doesn’t stand by the window all the time, you’ve caught him sitting in the armchair, walking around, stretching his limbs. To make it less miserable for him you spend a lot of time in front of the TV, mostly to hopefully entertain him at least a bit now that he’s stuck with you more than ever. For days, he didn’t even look at the screen, but lately you’ve caught him following the show several times, so you’re religiously keeping this habit up. 

The awkwardness has faded, but it definitely taught you a lesson. You better not get drunk when Harry is around and that’s like… all the time. 

Everything seems to be back to it’s extraordinary normal that you’ve been used to for the past few years. 

Today is a special day, however. You’ve been part of a case study competition, your criminal law professor suggested you enter and you’ve worked insanely hard on your case for the past three months that earned you first place. They are holding a little award ceremony today and it will finally be your moment. You will be in the spotlight because of something you worked hard for and not because your father is the leader of the country. 

He promised to be there and watch you accept your well-deserved award and you’re excited to make him proud. 

You started the day early and channeled your excitement into a long morning run before spending the noon at a salon to get your hair and nails done for the occasion. You might be the president’s daughter, but you’re a woman after all and you love a good pampering before an event. 

Now you’re sitting in you closet, trying to figure out what to wear, all the outfits you’ve tried on but decided against are lying on the floor around you in piles. You start to think you should have gone shopping, but then you find the perfect dress, a simple, but elegant black dress with a deeper back cut. You pair them with a pair of designer heels and some statement earrings to bring some light into this quite dark set and you’re all done. 

When you walk out of the bedroom Harry is standing by the window in his usual black suit white shirt attire. His eyes snap over to you and this time he can’t hide how he checks you out from head to toe. You can feel the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks and ears.

“What do you think?” you ask, giving him a twirl.

“You look… very professional,” he answers. It’s not what you expected, but you know he meant it in the best possible way.

“Has my dad’s plane landed?”

“I haven’t gotten any news from his team yet, but I’m sure he’ll be there on time. Shall we leave?”

“Yeah,” you nod, feeling out of breath. An unsettling feeling sinks into your gut, but you brush it off as Harry helps you put on your coat and you leave the apartment in the ring of agents.

Because of your attendance, the event’s security has been obviously raised and a group of agents have been at the venue long before your arrival, checking every corner so when you’re finally there you can walk in without having to wait in the car. 

The competition had several different fields so there will be more students awarded today, the room is full of winners, their proud professors and parents as well. You take your assigned seat and nervously look around, searching for any sign of your father, but there’s none, so you’re left with just waiting.

It’s killing you, so you text him but you get no response. He should have landed by now to make it in time, his silence is raising concern in you now.

“Harry? Can you please reach my father’s security team?” you ask and nodding he takes a few steps back as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. 

Something is off, you can feel it in your guts and you fucking hate it. It takes forever for Harry to turn back to you, right when everyone starts clapping, because the dean has entered the stage to start the ceremony, but you’re only looking at Harry.

“What did they say?”

“Y/N, he is… He is not coming.”

“What?” It feels like a punch in your stomach and you wish Harry would say it’s just a joke, that he is about to walk in any moment, but the look on his face tells you it’s the truth.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you whisper as you turn back to face the stage, your throat closing up while you fight your tears.

It was the first thing you asked from him in so long. You’ve been there for him every step of the way and today you just needed your father to be here and be proud of you, but he ditched you. There’s been an ongoing joke on the internet that it will always be the country before you for your dad and you even laughed about it before, but now it’s your cruel reality.

You watch the winners get called on the stage one by one and the willingness to do the same dies in you with every passing moment. 

“Y/N?” Harry taps your shoulder and you snap out of your thoughts only to realize your name has been called. 

“Fuck,” you mumble as you stand from your seat, three agents moving with you, taking their places as you walk up to the stage and shake hands with the dean. Every first place winner has said a few words, so now it’s your turn at the microphone, but it’s like you’ve forgotten how to talk. Looking around you see the sea of faces, everyone is waiting for you to finally say something. Your eyes land on Harry and he gives you a tiny nod and somehow you find your voice.

You manage to say a few sentences about the importance of your study and thank the school for the opportunity before you walk off the stage. You’re expected to return to your seat, but instead, you’re heading to the restroom.

The dam breaks and tears start rolling down your face. You completely ignore the protocol, that an agent has to check the room before you enter and a hand pulls you back before you could rush into the ladies room.

“Y/N, I need to–”

“I don’t want to have the fucking toilet checked, I want to have some fucking privacy!” you snap at him, tears rolling down your face and you’re very close to start sobbing like a child. Harry looks back at you with shock on his face, this time he can’t even mask it, probably because he has never seen you like this.

“Okay, but–”

You don’t wait for him to finish, just push your way inside and don’t stop until you reach a sink that you can lean onto, the sobs finally erupting from your chest. 

Betrayal, disappointment and helplessness wash over you, pulling you right into a possible emotional breakdown, though you’re still fighting it as you open the tap and splash some cold water into your face.

You didn’t realize Harry followed you inside, so when you feel a hand on your back you almost get a heart attack.

“Hey, it’s just me, it’s okay,” Harry holds his palms up when you jump back, gasping for air because of the panic and crying at the same time.

“I s-said I-I wanted p-privacy!” you sob shaking your head.

“I can’t just let you walk in here alone when you can barely breathe!”

“I don’t want to do this! I don’t fucking want to do this!” you cry, leaning your back against the cold, tiled wall as you let yourself fall apart for the first time in forever. You’ve been trying to be calm and collected as much as possible, but so much has piled up on you that your father not showing up was the last straw, the cherry on top.

“Y/N, calm down, take a deep breath, okay?” Harry tries to calm you down, but you just keep shaking your head and sobbing. 

“He didn’t come! It was the only thing… I asked from him!”

“I’m sure he has a reason to–”

“I don’t fucking care! He doesn’t care about me! No one fucking does! I’m just… I have no one left! No one!”

“Don’t say that, Y/N. There are people who care about you.”

“Who? Who cares about me!” you scream at him, finally looking into his eyes and his gaze pierces into yours as he answers.

“Me. I care about you.”

“It’s your fucking job to protect me, it’s not the same!”

Your chest is heaving and you must look like a complete mess, but at this moment nothing really matters. Harry looks back at you like you just seriously hurt his feelings, like what you said was just as disappointing as your father not showing up. Long moments pass by without him saying anything and you start to think he’ll just walk out like he did that night you got drunk, but then he steps closer, definitely crossing the line of comfortable distance.

“If you think you’re just a job to me, you couldn’t be more wrong.”

“Don’t lie to me,” you beg in a whisper.

“Don’t call me a fucking liar,” he snaps back and it’s the first time you hear him swear. His pupils have swallowed his irises and his breathing is almost as wild as yours as he stares at you, practically burning a hole into your face. 

“You left me that night. Without a word. I told you I wanted you and you walked out. That does give me a certain message.”

“You were drunk out of your mind, telling me to fuck you. I would have never forgiven myself if I touched you. I had no reason to believe you wouldn’t regret it in the morning and ask to never see me again. That would have been the end of my career and the end of… me.”

Though your cheeks are still soaked from your tears, his words have stopped your crying and now you can’t even tell what you’re feeling. You have no idea what to do or say, how to react and you can’t believe how this situation is turning out to be. 

“I still want you the same,” you whisper, your mouth deciding on what to say because your brain is in complete shock. 

Harry exhales sharply through his nose, his eyes fall closed and you can tell he is fighting himself, so you want to push him over the edge. Reaching up you cup his cheek in your hand, he doesn’t move at first, but then he leans into your touch and that’s when you push yourself away from the wall to get closer to him, but he pulls away.

There’s a second of devastation, but when he reaches to his earpiece you realize someone is talking to him.

“Copy. We’re in the restroom, give me the fastest route out.” He talks into his wrist before his eyes snap up to you.

“What happened?” you breathe out, feeling like your heart cannot take another shock at this moment, but you’ll have to deal with it anyway. He listens to the answer they give him through his com before talking to you.

“We need to get out. The guy who was at your apartment was spotted in the building.”

“What? Is he armed?” Harry takes your hand in his firm hold and gently, but confidently pulls you towards the door. 

“We don’t know, he ran away, DeLuca and Jackson are after him, but we need to get you out of here.”

Your pulse is higher than ever, you feel dizzy and your brain is definitely shutting down, too much has happened in just minutes, you’re on survival mode. Harry must have noticed your state, because before he could open the door he turns to you, taking your face in his hands.

“It’s gonna be alright. I’m right here.”

“Okay,” you nod, blindly believing anything he says.

He then opens the door, steps out first to check what’s happening and returns to get you and you’re on your way to flee the building.

Circled by agents you follow Harry through hallways you’ve never been to until you somehow get to a back entrance. Your car is already there, waiting for you and you get in the back, lying down onto the seat, remembering that’s what Harry asked from you the last time you had to be rescued out of somewhere. You catch his face before he shuts the car door and he gives you a small nod. 

You don’t experience much of what goes down at the venue, they take you to a safe spot and you wait there with three agents while the rest of your team is either in the venue or at your apartment, making sure there’s no one there. 

Almost an hour goes by when Harry returns and you look at him, feeling on the edge to finally know something.

“We lost him. Your apartment is cleared, let’s get you home.”

You can tell he is beating himself up for letting the guy slip away and you already know he will put his walls back up.

He does one more check in the apartment himself before letting you inside. 

“We are doubling the security for tonight and then we’ll talk about the changes tomorrow,” he lets you know, following you inside. 

“Okay. Are you gonna stay in here?”

“Most likely,” he nods.

“Are you blaming yourself for tonight?”

He doesn’t answer, but his eyes talk for him. 

“You couldn’t have spotted the guy anyway, you would have been with me either way.” You walk closer to him, but keep some distance, sensing his distress.

“I wasn’t focusing fully,” he hisses through his teeth.

“Nothing happened, you–”

“Y/N,” he stops you from talking. “I’m responsible for your safety. Today I put that responsibility behind my feelings and that cannot happen again.”

“Is this your way of saying… you don’t want me the way I want you?” Now you’re moving closer, you need to reduce the distance between the two of you, it’s like something is pulling you towards him, a force that you’re not strong enough to fight. 

He stares at you for long seconds, taking a deep breath before he speaks up slowly in a calm manner.

“What I want does not matter when your safety is at risk. Let me… Let me do my job, let me do what I have to do to keep you safe. Please.”

It’s like he’s begging you, pleading for you to understand and… let go of him. And as much as you want it all to be different, you can’t go against his will and intentionally hurt him, there’s nothing you can do other than live with the pain. Like you always do.

“Okay,” you whisper and try your best to swallow back your tears, you’ve cried enough today. 

Harry exhales, like he’s relieved you’re not putting up a fight and to your surprise he cradles the back of your head and pulls you closer so he can place a kiss to your forehead. 

“I have to take care of a few things, Morrison will be in here until then, but I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Yeah,” you nod weakly. His hand falls from the back of your head and you watch him turn around and walk out of the apartment. 

You’re on autopilot. Have been for weeks.

Following the award ceremony things turned upside down once again. On one hand everyone has been on edge, because they couldn’t track the guy down, so your security has been doubled since then. Agents follow you everywhere, making it impossible to have a normal human interaction, not that you had plenty of friends to hang out with before. But still.

Your dad called that night and gave you some grand story about why he couldn’t make it to the ceremony, you told him it was fine, because you had no energy to lash out on him and you haven’t had a decent conversation with him since then. You can’t say it bothers you, it’s like there was a switch inside you that now allows you to give zero fucks about what your father does. You’ve canceled two events you were supposed to attend by his side, using the mystery intruder as an excuse, saying that you don’t feel safe out in public. You could tell he was annoyed, but didn’t question it. 

And then there is the Harry situation. Or the lack of it, if you’d like. It’s been hurting like hell, but there’s nothing you can do other than keep your promise of letting go of him. It’s just really hard when you spend so much time with him and have him in your apartment almost every night. 

You don’t watch TV anymore. You can’t bear being in the same room with him with no one else around. It’s hard enough to know he is on the other side of your bedroom door. You go back to coexisting, you silently follow his orders and not give him a headache when you know he already has a lot on his plate, he does his job in peace and everyone is happy.

Or not, but it doesn’t matter. 

The school semester is nearing its end and you’re already planning to ask to stay here for the summer. You know your dad will flip, but you’ll at least try to make a deal with him to attend events in the summer if it means you don’t have to move back home that doesn’t even feel home anymore. 

With your finals coming up you spend most of your time in the library. Surrounded by heavy books, hundreds of pages of notes, you’re working your ass off, because this is the only thing that could make you forget about your misery for a while. 

It’s a Friday afternoon, almost evening and you’re still very much working on a paper in the almost entirely empty library. It’s a great time, because most students avoid the building on Fridays, more interested in parties than books, so it’s a lot more peaceful. It’s your way of distraction from the fact that you have to make an appearance tomorrow for your dad and you can’t bail out of it this time. 

There are three agents near you and two more at the entrance, but Harry is not working now. He will probably take another night shift, not that you keep track of when he works…

You’re too focused to notice the group of people that come in, but when you spot a figure approaching you and the agents around you move instantly, you finally lift your head up from the book in front of you. You’re surprised to see Jaiden coming in your way, stopped by the agents.

“Jaiden?”

“Um, I just want to talk to her,” he says to the agents and you nod your head to let him through. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Just wanted to give you something, thought you might be interested,” he shrugs as he passes you over a paper and with that he is already on his way, leaving you puzzled.

It’s a QR code so you grab your phone and read it and a website starts loading on your screen. When it finally loads, you feel all the blood rushing out of your head.

It’s a site basically dedicated to you, where people can send in anonymous comments and stories about you for everyone to read them. There are quite a few, a big chunk of them obviously from guys you’ve gone on dates with, dragging you through mud, a lot of them stating things that never even happened. 

You just scroll and keep reading them in total disbelief and then you hear laughter. You look up and see Jaiden with a group of fratboys, having a blast seeing you go through the site before they hoard out of the library. 

Your head is spinning and you feel like throwing up as you pack up your stuff as quickly as possible. It’s a struggle not to start sobbing on your way home, neither of the agents ask what’s wrong, because they are not your friend, they are there to keep you safe, but not from assholes, apparently. When you arrive to your apartment you see Harry already waiting by the door, but you avoid looking him in the eyes as you rush inside, wanting to lock yourself up in your room preferably forever. 

The tears start rolling down your cheeks when you hear someone coming after you and you know it’s Harry. 

“Y/N, is everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” you tell him, keeping your back facing him so he can’t see your face.

“Then look at me, please.”

You don’t move, just stand there, silently crying and there’s no way of fooling him, he knows you better than anyone and your shoulders are shaking as well. Slowly, you turn around for him to see your face.

“What happened?” he asks, stepping closer, but he still keeps some distance between the two of you.

“Nothing, I said I’m fine.”

“You’re obviously not fine, Y/N, don’t… don’t bullshit me, okay? Tell me what happened!”

He won’t give up, he won’t leave you alone until you say something so you pull your phone out of your pocket, open the website and hand it over to you. You watch him scroll for a minute before he looks up at you.

“We’re taking this down and we’ll find whoever did this,” he firmly says and before you could react he is already giving orders through his com. “They are on it. we’ll find them, don’t worry.” “Okay,” you breathe out and you turn around to lock yourself up in your bedroom, but he stops you.

“Y/N, wait!”

You look back at him, not even trying to mask how tired, defeated and hopeless you’re feeling. You must look like just a shadow of the person you used to be and the sight of you is probably just as depressing as you feel because it breaks the professional boundary that’s been between you and Harry.

He moves across the room and pulls you into his arms and you just start crying and sobbing uncontrollably while he holds you tight, gently rocking you from side to side to soothe you. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he murmurs into your hair and you just bury your face deeper into his neck, probably totally ruining his shirt, but neither of you cares about that right now. 

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” you sob, melting into his embrace, because it feels like the only safe place for you.

“I know. I wish I could help you. Tell me what I can do for you.”

“Just please don’t leave me, not tonight, please!” you beg and fully expect him to pull the wall back up, but instead he just holds you even tighter.

“I would never leave you, Y/N.”

The amount of times you had to fake laugh tonight is ridiculously over the roof. It’s another evening where you’re just a tool, something your father can brag about but you hold no influence or whatsoever. 

You’re sipping on some champagne, but you’re careful with the alcohol consumption this time. Though you’re not sure how another situation like that last time would turn out now. Especially after that night after the website fiasco.

After soaking his shirt with your tears the two of you sat on the couch, you remained in Harry’s embrace and he talked you through it, until you momentarily forgot about what happened and somehow you ended up falling asleep. When you woke up you had a blanket over you and Harry was standing in his usual spot by the window, like a hound, watching out for danger. When he realized you woke up he walked you into your bedroom, tucked you in and sat beside you until you wófell back asleep. 

The website was down by the morning and the school was informed about it as well, taking matters into their hands to punish those who created it. You didn’t want to know the names, you just wanted to forget about the whole thing. 

That night changed things between you and Harry. You didn’t feel that wall between the two of you though there was still some distance, but it felt like you could overstep it easily. It’s like you’ve been dancing on a fence, still not sure which side you want to land on. You’re not planning to pressure him to choose, having him this close is already more than you had before so you’re happy to prolong it for as long as possible. 

You have no idea where the conversation is heading around you, you’ve zoned out of it long minutes ago. It’s not that you don’t understand what politicians, influential people tend to talk about at events like this. It’s more about how you recognize some of them know nothing about the field they work at and still hold the power. 

And you lost interest too. 

Holding your champagne flute your eyes wander over the room until they settle on Harry. He is by the window, what a shocker, examining the sea of guests around you, watching out like a hawk until his gaze meets yours and his expression softens. 

“Bored,” you mouth to him and you catch the smirk he tries hard to cover up.

“You got this,” he mouths back to which you frown, making him laugh.

His laugh.

You’ve been gifted with it more in the past few days than in the time you’ve known him and it’s definitely one of your favorite things in the entire world.

“Break?” you mouth once again and he just nods, moving instantly. 

Five minutes later you’re out on the balcony with him, two guards standing by the door inside. 

“This should be considered torture,” you sigh.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” he teases you.

“I’m not, I hate it here. Look around.” You stand beside him, staring inside at the sea of guests. “What am I doing here?”

“Supporting your dad.”

“I think he is fine without me,” you shrug, nodding towards him, he is standing in a circle of men, all of them pretending to be having a marvelous time, but you know for a fact at least two of those men would backstab him the first given chance. It’s all so pretentious and you’re tired of trying to be part of it for him.

“What would you like to do?” Harry asks.

“What do you mean?”

“If you could do anything, any job, anywhere, what would it be?”

You’ve never really thought of that before. A life that’s entirely what you want it to be is so far out of your reach that you never let yourself daydream about it. So now you take some time to think it through before sharing it with Harry.

“I would probably have a riding school,” is what you tell him at last. He looks at you surprised.

“Like… horses?”

“Yeah,” you smile softly, keeping your eyes ahead, staring at the people inside. “I used to ride a lot when I was smaller and I loved it a lot.”

“But you never do it anymore, why?”

“I wasn’t exceptional in it, never won any competitions so my dad thought I shouldn’t keep doing it. He talked me into quitting and I started learning French instead.”

“You speak French?” he asks in shock.

“No,” you chuckle, finally looking at him. “I was mad at him for making me quit horse riding so I never put any effort into my French classes, I can barely introduce myself.”

“Wow, such a rebel,” he chuckles quietly.

“What about you?”

“I don’t speak French.”

“I know that,” you roll your eyes. “I meant, what would you want to do if you could do anything?”

He curls his lips into his mouth as he thinks about it, his eyebrows furrowed.

“I think I would be living on a farm.”

“A farm?”

“Yeah. You know, growing stuff and keeping animals. I love the thought of growing everything I need.”

“That sounds lovely,” you smile at him. “I hope you get to do that one day.”

“I do too,” he nods and the two of you just stand there, watching the mingling and dancing guests.

It’s a moment you want to last longer, you feel close to him, like you’ve finally jumped off that fence and you’re running away. Together. 

So at last you decide to give him a little push.

“I wish we could be dancing there too.” 

Your voice is quiet, barely audible through the noises coming from inside and when he doesn’t say anything for a while you start to think he didn’t even hear it, or that he is ignoring your words because he doesn’t want to deal with them.

But then his hand gently takes yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“I would… love that.”

Your chest feels like bursting and you wish you could just jump into his arms, but you know you can’t. So instead, you just stand there, enjoying this tiny, hidden moment that’s burning into your memories forever.

It was hard to focus on your conversations before, but now, after you’ve shared that special moment with Harry it’s kind of impossible.

You’re making your rounds around, chit-chatting and smiling as pleasantly as possible, but in your mind you’re still out on the balcony, holding hands with Harry.

Talking about him, you haven’t seen him in a little while. You look around, searching for him once again, probably for the millionth time in the past ten minutes, but you see no sign of him.

“Morrison, where’s Styles?” you ask the agent beside you.

“Your father asked to see him, Miss,” he informs you. 

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know, Miss, I’m sorry.”

You try not to think much of it, but when you finally spot him in the crowd your stomach drops, because his expression is anxious and angry at the same time, though he is trying hard to mask it. But you know him too well.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, instantly ignoring the conversation you’ve been in before. 

“Can’t talk right now, but we better leave.”

You don’t question him, just follow, though the way he is acting now is freaking you out. He is right next to you as you make your way out of the room, getting farther and farther from the rest of the guests.

“What happened?” you finally ask when you’re walking down the hallway that leads to the entrance.

“I don’t want to turn you against your father,” he answers, but now you’re just even more keen on knowing what’s going on.

“Harry, tell me!” you demand, stopping abruptly.

Not too willingly, but he comes to a halt as well, turning to face you as he leans closer.

“Your father kept it a secret that they got a letter yesterday in which someone threatened to hurt you today. He kept it from us, because he knew you wouldn’t come tonight if you found out.”

“What?” All the blood rushes out of your face as his words process. 

“He strengthened security for your sake and thought it would be alright, but I don’t want to risk it, we need to get you somewhere safe until we get to the bottom of this whole thing.”

“Okay,” you nod, a shiver running down your spine at just the thought of that letter your father hid from you. 

You’re nearing the exit when your father’s voice beams through the hallway, just when you’re already seeing your car outside.

“Y/N! Where are you going?!” 

He is rushing towards you with his own security team circling him and you can’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“I’m leaving!”

“And you didn’t think of at least saying goodbye?”

“I’m not doing anything for you anymore. Not when you’ve intentionally put me in risk just so you could use me at another event!”

The look he gives Harry says it all. He is pissed that Harry told you about the threat, that someone went against his will.

“It’s not that serious, Honey. We have everything under control.”

“Is that so? Then who sent the letter?”

“We don’t know it yet, but—”

“What if it’s the same guy that’s been stalking me? What if it really is something serious?” You’re finally lashing out on him, something you probably should have done a lot earlier, but you didn’t have the balls. You’re done being the obedient, supportive daughter to a father that’s not returning it at all.

“We doubled security and I have people working on it! No need to–”

“Don’t tell me what I need and don’t need to do! I don’t feel safe anywhere anymore! You knew I would panic if I found out about it but you chose to hide it so you could use me tonight to show people how great of a family we are when in reality, you give no fucks about me!”

“Y/N, that is not true. I didn’t want to stress you out, that’s why I didn’t tell you.”

Lie. That is such a big fucking lie.

“I’m done. I’m done with you. Call me when you’re ready to be my father.”

Turning around you’re on your way out to the car, you hear your dad calling after you, but Harry stops him and it’s the first time you hear him talk so harshly to your father.

And then all hell breaks loose. But it’s not because of Harry’s way of talking to the president.

You’re approaching the car confidently, eager to get away from your dad and the madness that surrounds him, Harry is following you right behind and as you keep your gaze on the car suddenly you realize.

It’s not yours.

Everything happens so fast, but at the same time it’s like it’s in slow motion.

A guy jumps out of the car and points a gun right at you. The agents around you launch forward, but he is several feet away, so they don’t reach him before he pulls the trigger and shoots at you. In that moment you believe you’re about to die. Gasping in surprise you completely freeze, but then get pushed to the side with so much force you smash against the wall, pain jolting through your left arm instantly as the shot of the gun rings in your ear.

You fall to the floor the same time the agents tackle the shooter. From the corner of your eyes you see how your ad is being dragged away from the scene before he could get hurt as well, even though he is shouting your name, it’s protocol to rescue him and take him to a safe place right away.

As you look to your right you see another person on the floor and your heart skips a beat when you realize that it’s Harry, and a pool of blood is underneath you, growing rapidly each second.

He took the shot that was meant for you.

The rest is a blur. You start screaming and try to reach him while two agents pull you up from the floor to take you away from the scene as well, your arm hurts like hell, but you just keep screaming for Harry. 

At last you catch his face, you see him gasping for air, pure panic and fear all over his face, he looks at you one last time and you see a tear rolling down his face before you’re dragged away.

The constant beeping. It just keeps going and going and it’s driving him crazy. 

Crazy enough to finally open his eyes.

Harry is more than confused about his surroundings, the hospital room looks sterile, but nice, very nice if you ask him, so he knows he is at some kind of private facility. It takes a couple of moments for the pain to set in but when it does, it comes with all the memories as well.

He was shot in his chest when he pushed you out of the way, he remembers the pain he felt then which was a lot worse and more intense than the dull, pressure like feeling in his chest right now. He remembers lying on the floor and looking at you as two agents pulled you away and he knows he said his goodbye in that moment, because he was convinced he would die.

He didn’t. 

Now he is lying in a hospital bed, the machines hooked onto him keep beeping and tracking his vitals and when he turns his head slightly to the left the beeping intensifies because he sees you sleeping in an armchair next to his bed. 

You look awfully uncomfortable, but still breathtakingly beautiful, your left arm is in a cast and you’re cradling it to your chest. As if you could sense his wandering gaze, you start moving around and you blink your eyes open at last, seeing that Harry is finally awake.

“Hey,” he breathes out, barely finding the energy to speak, but you burst into tears right away as you fall forward, one hand coming to the side of his head, the other one holding his hand on the mattress.

“You’re awake, oh my God, I really thought I lost you!” You sob and try to take in the sight of him conscious and talking, something you didn’t think you’d ever see again when you saw him lying on the floor three days ago.

“I’m okay, I’m right here,” he exhales as his other hand comes to take your hand by his face. “How are you? Are you okay?”

“Harry, you were literally shot and you’re asking if I’m okay?” you laugh through your tears, finally cracking a smile from him as well. 

“That doesn’t mean I’m not worried about you.”

“I’m fine, just broke my hand, but it’s okay. How are you feeling? Does it hurt?”

“Kind of. But it’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? The bullet missed your heart by one millimeter. Doctors said it’s a miracle you survived.”

“Well, at least I know I’m not bulletproof,” he tries to joke and it makes you laugh and that was his only intention. 

You’ve stopped crying, but you wouldn’t move from beside him. You’ve been in this room since they brought him out of surgery and refused to leave since then. He reaches over and wipes your tears off your cheeks before cradling your face in his palm. You gladly lean into his touch and then turn your head to kiss into his hand without hesitation. 

You fill him in on what happened. Tell him about how he was rushed to hospital and the guy was caught and it was confirmed he sent the letter and he was the one stalking you at your apartment and award ceremony as well. You were afraid it was someone you knew, but apparently he was just some psycho who wanted to hurt your dad by hurting you.

It was a wakeup call to your father. One that he desperately needed after the stunts he has pulled lately, so you had a long talk outside of Harry’s room when he found out you were here with him. He apologized for everything and promised to be better. You told him his words mean nothing, you need to see the change in his actions. 

He has visited every day since then and you discussed the future as well. A future that will bring lots of change.

“You saved my life,” you quietly say, still kind of in shock about what happened.

“I would do it again,” he replies. 

“You won’t be able to work again because of it,” you tell him. The bullet grazed his lung as well and the doctors said he might never be able to reach the same physical limits like before.

“It doesn’t matter,” he shakes his head. “I didn’t lose you and that’s what matters.”

His words sink in and you have to fight your tears again as you rest you lean closer, until your faces are just inches away.

“I don’t want to feel again the way I did when I thought you died. I don’t want to keep my distance, I… I love you and I want to be with you.”

Harry exhales heavily, his eyes fall closed and when they open again you get lost in them.

“I love you too. And I want to be with you too, always have.”

You let out a laugh that’s mixed with relief, happiness, pain and so much anticipation before you push closer and finally press your lips to his.

Years of built up tension and passion is set free as you kiss him and he returns it just as eagerly. It’s not at all how you imagined your first kiss, not with a cast on your arm or Harry lying in a hospital bed after being shot, but none of it matters in this moment, only him. There’s no more playing around, pushing each other away, this is end game and you both know it. 

“So…” you mumble against his lips, “Will you move to a farm with me?”

“Moving? Aren’t we rushing a little ahead?” he chuckles, brushing some loose strands of hair out of your face before pecking your lips shortly.

“No. I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s do what we always wanted to do.”

“What about your life? Your dad?”

“I already told him I’m stepping back from my first daughter duties. He is okay with it.”

“Really?”

“I mean, he doesn’t have much saying in what I do after almost getting me killed,” you joke, though you both know how serious the matter was.

“And you’re sure you want to move on… with me?”

You smile at him softly, it’s so typical he is questioning your decision even after everything that happened. He surely needs some time to adjust to this new version of you and him where there’s no wall between the two of you, just love.

Leaning down you kiss his lips softly.

“There’s no one else I would do it with, Harry.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[domnq88]

So

I miss jimin

Ahahahhahahahaha!

No surprise

Here’s a few pics I found on Pinterest I really like of him. Just look at him I guess😭🤣😭

🤷🏽‍♀️

I am ARMY but I got a weird pang and was like, I miss this lil sweet chicky 🐥 man haha.

Like 😵‍💫whoa

(Those fanfics I’ve recently liked was 🔥 super raunchy good smut but still 🔥 if I like a story and it’s like that it’s actually quite good imo. My likes are there. lol 😅)

Ahhhhh the glasses! 🤓 🥺 so cute! (I’ve heard they really can’t see anyways [except for hobi??])so I need BTS to all WEAR THEIR GLASSES! Maybe they have contacts?! 🤔

First off. Blinged out. Second. Gorgeous. Third. That smirk. Fourth. He looks like he was daydreaming about something so I like this pic…..

Ah. Just kinda classic.

Classic with the simple jewelry and all black

This random pic cause it’s bf coded. 😳

After you say good morning cause his sleep schedule is sh*t but yours isn’t he goes back to sleep.

You stare at him for a sec. He doesn’t mind like he usually does when people eye ball him and drifts off. Boy can shoot daggers staring people down-

You go to a little comfy couch on the other side of the room and read a little and enjoy the quiet.

After a while of losing your thoughts in a fantasy land within the pages of your book, You decide to lay next to him and snuggle in front of him. He stirs from the warmth from your body and pulls you in closer to him, his chest pressed against your back. Your head nestled underneath his chin. He presses his face into your neck.

Breathing you in and exhaling out, A calm floating over you as he leans into you, making you blush as his body presses up against yours,feeding off each others warmth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your eyes flutter open, unsure of when you fell asleep yourself. You lost track of time, not knowing how long you two had been laying in spoon position. The sun’s rays now higher in the room, You turn around to face him. His eyes half closed, looking as sultry as they always do. How long had he been awake?

And for a second, you just stare at each other. The heat rises up in your cheeks as he caresses your cheek with one hand and pulls you closer(if that’s even possible) to him with the other.

Nothing is being said, but somehow is.

And then he kisses you, giving you the softest feather kisses. One after the other. You feel as if you’re melting, shivers going down from your lips all over your body.

And you can’t help but wonder…

How many more Simple mornings like this-

TYPE SHIT. 🤣

Ok ok ok.

Cmon, he’s so bf coded in this

I had to write a small snippet of SOMETHING.

Ok I’m done😭💕😭

BYEEEEEEE 🫶🏽

😭

( I miss writing like that. I should upload some writings here or maybe to my art page on the blog side of it when I get it up)

I use to write so many love poems I often talk in rhyme it’s hilarious and annoying.😭💕😭

I have so many stories and poems YALL…)

[kakubun]

Caring!Manager (who doesn't take care of themselves)

shiratorizawa x gen!reader, karasuno x gen!reader

finally i do teams other than seijoh 

this is for yall therapist mfs with friends who don't appreacite you, i love yall

Shiratorizawa

tendou and the other third years would notice your state 

how you idly slumped on the bench filling paperwork, your eyebags darkening and the slight swelling of your tired eyes

“y/n, you look quite tired. have you been staying up late?” ushijima asks and it shaken you up a little but you waved your hand telling him you stayed up late to study again

this went on for days and semi and tendou constantly talk about you to each other if you were really staying up late studying 

so he wrapped his arms around your neck and snuggled near your neck when you begin to drift off, letting out a quiet snicker because he was tickling your neck

“are you really studying or you’re gaming?” he chuckled but you stayed quiet which made him poke your cheek

“hey hey y/n-chan~ you okay?” he said it playfully but worry began swallowing him up when he felt a tear hit his hand, he stopped back hugging you and crouched in front of you to talk to you properly

you begun weeping and apologized for lying to them for days of what you were doing at night 

you told him you had a couple friends who vented to you and you tried your best to talk about their problems with them but this resulted in night time talks where you had to listen to them and you didn’t take care of your mental health 

you bashfully told him you accidently slept in class one too many times and you didn’t ask your classmates for classwork or notes

he put a hand on your shoulder, wobbling on his feet and asked if this happened every night 

you replied with an “almost everyday” because there was different friends you have to attend to 

tendou scowled and you cringed because you feel a lecture coming 

tendou: don't do that❤

y/n: huh?

tendou: *flicks your forehead*

he whines while shaking you and you were just like 0-0 thinking how he wasn’t negative that you didn’t care of yourself 

he understands why you had to sacrifice your time to care about your friends, he thinks that’s very nice of you but of course he won’t let you free :))))

he wanted you to decline any of them if they wanted to vent to you, he tuts you when you objected 

he shook his head and tells you to only let you have your own time to yourselves for atleast a week and after that you could go back to being a therapist but only if you don’t do it everyday 

you looked down at your feet and feel ashamed that you didn’t thought of yourself but tendou quickly held your cheek, making you shift your eyes to his grinning face 

“don’t y/nnnn we have a lot of self love and care to do~”

he made sure you had lots of sleep and semi helped when you said you couldn’t sleep by sending voice notes of him strumming the guitar and silently humming to songs (his songs-)

ushijima tried to give advice on the food you’re eating when tendou started pulling out ramen cups and onigiri, ushijima just worries if you’re eating healthly 

ushijima: eat veggies 

y/n: they look delicious but i’ll pass

ushijima: *holds a pear* do you want a pear?

y/n: oo yes please :DD!

ushijima also asked if you need any notes for your classes and you nodded because that’s what you actually needed the most, tendou also gave his so it’s more easier for ushijima then handing his all of files to you 

the friend who vented to you apologized since they noticed how selfish it was to overwork you into replying to all their texts, they smiled thanking you that you’re literally the best person to talk to

 some stumble to apologize and promised to take you out to restaurants to pay back for everything you did for them (tendou might’ve said bring me with you but you quickly bonked his head)

right after your little self care vacation, you’re right back on your feet

you rested well and you felt a little groggy but more better now 

this was also a lesson to you since yes, you could help people you love but you also have to take care of yourself since you also loved yourself

the team (tendou telling semi and the others overheard him) was glad you weren’t tired and sleepy and you were back in shape to the manager that will boss them around for slacking

goshiki was happy you weren’t in a bad state anymore :’’))

Karasuno

yachi and tsukishima actually noticed how off you were acting

they could see behind your facade of happy was exhaustion and they didn’t actually know how to approach at first 

tsukishima hasn’t swallowed his pride yet so yachi was the first to pop the question

you were daydreaming (which you always did even before you were fatigued, you airhead >:(( ) and yachi poked a finger on your shoulder to lose your thoughts for a while and she swallowed when you looked at her then the floor  

“hey y/n, you’re being.. um out of it..” ah she panicked, that wasn’t suppose to come out of her mouth but you chuckled wearily, opening your mouth to say your reason but immediately shutting it and chewing on your lip

“i’m so sorry, i thought of lying but uh i don’t think i can escape it this situation” you scoffed which baffled yachi because this level of exhaustion suprised her that you wanted to lie about your well being

you would always be open with how you’re feeling, if you’re feeling sick or wanting to vomit you would immediately excuse yourself to go to the nurse’s office but this, you wanted to hide it. 

it made yachi nervous when you started telling her how your toxic friends weren’t giving you a break, you knew they were toxic but they were the only friends you had to you became therapist friend who is only there for them when they’re upset and not involving you in any happy or memory filling moments 

“do we look like bricks to you?” you were suprised of yachi’s question no, statement. she looked rather a mix of hurt and pity but with flames of rage, it made you shiver

“we’ve been managing the team for a while, you should move on from them and be friends with us. better people rather than friends who treats you like.. garbage.” yachi beamed which made your heart ache when you remembered how much you were used as a selfless rag doll, you could’ve stood up for yourself and leave them behind for the team 

you were left in silence gathering jerseys to watch and that fueled yachi with anxiety

in no offense she meant her first thought, she smacked her forehead one too many times (kageyama might’ve questioned why is she doing that)

you nudged her and snickered, commenting as if she have seen a ghost

“okay thanks yachi! that means a lot,” yachi waited for a slap, she knows how ferocious you were when you’re angry 

you didn’t show your anger but you wore a mask hiding it then proceed to beat the sht out of them, basically your anger was the calm before a storm and it made the person that pissed you have develop chills and sweating because of how quiet you become when they were in the middle of insulting

that was what yachi was thinking, you anger will decapitate her and melt her to the ground but she shouldn’t be suprised when  a pair of arms wrap around her neck

“thanks, i really needed that” you whimpered, wet patches form on yachi’s shirt and she awkwardly hugged you back

“everything okay here?” kiyoko muttered when she wiped our tears and you nodded

you told kiyoko even though she knew (yachi tells everything to kiyoko since kiyoko said to tell her if anything’s bothering her) and she helped you with the first step 

 your ‘friends’, drop them. it made you nervous because it could go many ways but kiyoko made you more confident that you can easily drop them (even though she said it too straightforwardly but you appreaciate any forms of advice)

it was a whole mess of manipulating and almost losing their sht, you’re also thankful when one of them silently agreed to drop the friendship and leave 

it scared you when you almost lost the argument to how much they tried backing you up against a wall but you didn’t let their cries get to your head and spat out facts to them on why you’re tired of this friendship

first step’s always too hard but you’ll try another time to end it properly, they’re ignoring you now but the girls were kinda greatful you won’t be having any nightly calls with any of them anymore 

self care’s next :DD. you ignored yourself over these past few weeks but like they said, yachi and kiyoko will be there for you!!

they start with food. always being with you at lunch, packing snacks and sandwiches from home and offering for you to eat. yachi knew you loved her sandwich recipe, why would you decline a good sandwich?

giving you face masks and lotion, they had a tiny sleepover during weekends so they can take care of you and make sure you actually fall asleep

(tanaka and nishinoya’s kinda jealous here-) 

nishinoya and tanaka: how did you manage to be so lucky

y/n: go through some shit

you felt reassured for having girls with your back and you felt so thankful

lets’s not forget tsuki! after he was also the first to notice that you were rather dreary and drained of your usual rush of energy from the others 

(i bet he thought about giving something or talking to you but he went “wait am i going soft”)

but he was happy to see you back on your feet after whatever hell you went through, here you are with the team causing ruckus with nishinoya and tanaka, bursting out in fits of giggles to kageyama and hinata,  conversing with the third years and getting bullied by him while yamaguchi snickered 

yachi almost cried and kiyoko’s arms stretched open if she needed a hug

good to have you back :))

i’m sorry this looks rushed :(((

[laudthingcat]

I love you (Todoroki Shoto X Reader)

Hi yall~ This is my first time writing and posting a oneshot myself, but it was hella fun so i might as well just keep writing heh even if it’s shit y-y

I lost my damn text when my computer crashed before saving anything so i had to write everything twice i cri

Btw sorry if something sounds weird. I’m not a native so there’s that.

Word count: 1.4k

 Masterlist

Your boyfriend was throwing a party over at his house. His family was rich, so his house was huge. His parents, being busy, were now abroad taking care of an unexpected problem. The house was full of drunk teenagers and the air was now replaced by cigarette smoke. “Yikes”, you said to yourself before getting out of the house. It was the beginning of march but it was still very cold outside, and you started regretting not having some warmer clothes. You sure enjoyed parties, but not this kind. A party where you could at least hear your own thoughts would have been nicer. Since it was your boyfriend’s party, you were automatically invited, and yet, he was nowhere to be found. Not picking up your phone calls or reading your texts, you started getting worried.  

 It was now almost 10 pm and you still didn’t get any sign from him so you decided checking every room was a must, even tho it was his house, he won’t get mad now, will he? You entered every room, carefully looking around. In a few you got a glimpse at people making out. Blushing and closing back the doors in seconds, you continued checking the rooms, one by one but he was still nowhere to be seen. Maybe he went outside to buy some more drinks? That could be a possibility. 

 It was just way too noisy inside so you went outside looking at your phone, hoping there would be a response from him by now. The fresh air helped you feel better. You relaxed and looked around the house. “Oh it’s his friends”, you said seeing some familiar faces. They were all smoking and laughing without a good reason. “They need Jesus”, you mumbled before backing away a few steps. But then something caught your eye. It was your boyfriend kissing another girl. He was kissing her so passionately and yet whenever you tried to get close, he’d push you away saying that “he’s not in the mood”. You watched them without saying a word, too shocked to do anything. You knew you should go there and confront him, but you couldn’t, at least not at the moment. You felt betrayed and your heart was broken. How could he? He noticed you standing there and immediately started running towards you, calling out your name. Facing him was the last thing you wanted, so you ran inside. He knew you had self esteem problems and that you always felt like you weren’t good enough. You opened up and let him know about your insecurities and he still played with your heart.  

 Thanks to the big number of people in the house, he couldn’t find you. You continued wondering around, looking for a place to sit and think things through. When you were sure he lost you, you couldn’t help but think about him, memories of him and that girl filling your mind. Your eyes got watery; you started crying, not giving a damn about other people seeing you like this. How was she better than you? Just because she had the guts to kiss a guy she barely met? She was hotter for sure, but you could be hot too if you wanted. 

  Not thinking straight, guided by the desire of being good enough for somebody, you went to the kitchen where you grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels. One, two, three, seven, ten shots; or maybe eleven? You lost count. Everything seemed easier now. Your head was spinning, yes, but you felt so much better. Needing to push every thought about him from your mind, you decided to go with the crowd, moving your body after the rhythm of the music. The song was so catchy, and your moves were so different from what your sober version would do. Not after too long, a random guy started dancing with you. He started touching your back, sending chills to your whole body. A few songs later, he started kissing you. His lips felt nothing like your boyfriend’s, so you started crying. That’s bad; that was bad. You knew it. But even so, you didn’t reject him, thinking that it may help you forget what happened. 

  Closing your eyes, you continued kissing the stranger. A few seconds later you didn’t feel that guy’s lips anymore. A boy was almost killing him in a fight. People got scared and a circle was made around the two of them. You didn’t really react in any way. You were just watching, thinking about how you’d like to eat some donuts. The boy woke you up from your daydreaming by grabbing your hand and leading you to an empty room. He turned the lights on, so now you could see his face. You recognized the face right away. It was Todoroki Shoto. You and him were very good friends, but recently he has been pretty busy with his classes and training, so you haven’t seen him in a few days. That was the last place you’d expect to see him, especially since he’s not a party person.

“ Todoroki?” you asked clearly surprised, being really embarrassed thinking about how he saw you kissing a random dude. He was probably disappointed. No, he certainly was disappointed, since you were disappointed yourself. 

“ Yes”, he responded coldly. Ahh man. You knew you fucked up, but did he really have to make you feel so bad?

“ What are you doing here? I thought you hate parties.” 

“ I do.” 

“ Then why are you here?” 

“ I came here for you. You invited me, remember?”

“ Ah, right” You did. But you didn’t expect him to actually show up. 

“ But then i got here, and the first thing i see is you kissing some random. Do you even know the guy?” he asked clearly pissed, losing control over his quirk, small sparks of fire coming out of his left part of his body.

You looked down because you already realized how stupid that was. But now you were just too curious. He usually doesn’t give a damn about other people’s business. Why was he so pissed? 

“ But why are you so angry with me kissing that guy? Maybe i like him ya know.” 

Oh no, he got angry. 

“ Why do i care?? He was almost fucking you right there, Y/N!! I am your damn friend! It’s my job to take care of you! I care about you…” His face got flustered saying those things. You thought to yourself how cute he was right there. He was usually a really cool guy, not showing emotions much.

 You were at a loss of words. He has always been there, also listening to your problems and somehow always finding your whenever you were feeling down or needed somebody to talk to. 

The silence was filling the room, until he broke it. “ But why were you kissing him anyways? I thought you have a boyfriend?” 

“ Well, I saw him kissing another girl”, you said casually as if you were talking about somebody you didn’t care about.  

“ Oh.. I told you he is a jerk. ” he said in a hushed voice.

Then you realized it. “ Actually I don’t really care. I thought about it and i didn’t really love him. He was my crush so I was really happy when he asked me out, but after a while I realized that I don’t like him. I wanted to break up with him, but everybody was saying that we look good together so i started believing that too.” 

His eyes grew wide. “ What??” 

“ Yeah..” 

“ Are you out of your mind? You shouldn’t date someone just because people say you look good together, Y/N” 

“ I know. But.. I wanted to feel loved.. I- I thought he loved me” , you said, tears falling down your cheeks.

“ You dumbass..” He said before pressing his lips against yours. His lips were soft. The feeling Todoroki’s kiss gave you was new. Not even your ex-boyfriend made you feel that way. He deepened the kiss, turning it into a passionate one. You didn’t want him to stop. You wanted this moment to last forever. Todoroki made your heart beat incredibly fast, now thinking about how you felt loved by the guy you least expected. When he broke the kiss, you looked down, blushing. He was also looking away, too embarrassed and surprised by his own actions. 

“ I love you” , he said grabbing your hand and squeezing it softly.  

[althephie]

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 - 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢

to 100-0

like so sad

do i feel bad for doing this to yall yes. but i am curel to myself too! so have fun!

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 - 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢

- akaashi took advantage of his childhood friend y/n knowingly, and ghosted her for someone else.

I got my driver's license last week

her e/c looked out of the front of her car watching herself drive past down her street.

Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me

the female could feel her eyes watering as her tears stream down her face wetting it. reminding her of the day that she found the love of her life with someon else. oh how much she cried that day.

she wanted to punch his stupid perfect face

perfect eyes

perfect body

perfect everything

akaashi was just perfect.

that it was too good to be true

To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around

y/n was so heartbroken when she saw him at their favorite cafe with someone else. he had ghosted her for the past 2 weeks and barely contacted her. they were dating still and it hurt her.

on a very cold winter day, she decided to go get some coffee. instead of happy memories rushing in the heartache did.

And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me

she was a pretty blonde foreign girl, who was tall and had beautiful green eyes. she was definitely older than y/n and akaashi. she was mature. she had a perfect body.

she was perfect.

perfect eyes

perfect body

perfect everything.

the blonde was also just perfect.

She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

the h/c was driving mindlessly as despair surged into her body as if it was her only life support. the only thing that kept her alive was her own depression.

ironic isn't it?

the thing that killed many, made her stay alive.

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

another round of tears flooded her eyes as a sinking feeling in her chest bloomed. she remebered confronting him alone.

he kept a straight face.

his once warm eyes were now cold.

he looked at her with such disgust and annoyance.

it broke y/n...it made her feel so insecure.

so useless

so stupid

all the dark-haired male had to say was....

" bye."

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Lifeless e/c eyes looked and examined the house that he lived in remebering all the times they had in his front yard.

the small cheesy picnics

the snowball fights with their friends

the stargazing

the pictures they took of each other.

the warm feeling of the sun touching their skin while their hearts skipped a beat each time they touched or made eye contact.

And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them

her friends

their friends

they did not know about his girlfriend, until they all reunited during spring break of her 2nd year of college. instead of seeing y/n and akaashi being lovey dovey. they saw akaashi and some girl.

who even was she?

y/n’s once lively self was dull and stoic. usually she would jump into bokutos arms and fangirl over how cute hinata was still, but instead they all received a fake smile. it broke their hearts and angered many.

'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you

bokuto, the one who introduced you two as children was offended. she was his cousin. he asked akaashi for his reasons without anyone knowing. akaashi just looked away and shrug.

And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh

“ i didn’t feel the spark anymore, but when i met Kila. she became the sun in my eyes. she is so bright and gorgeous. she is just...amazing….”

“ y/n was just the moon during a winter sky. cute but dull and boring. she could be bright, but did not stand out, i guess ”

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

in that moment, akaashi’s grey-blue eyes widened when he saw a fist coming straight to his face. Akaashi fell to the floor and looked up at his senpai in shock.

he had never seen bokuto look that scary before. instead of going into emo mode, he went into pissed off mode. His eyes piercing into the younger males soul

the nerve

Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

“ WE ARE ALL CHILDHOOD FRIENDS!! SHE LOVED YOU!! AKAASHI” the white-haired male shouted with tears running down, “ YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BROTHER!! YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD NEVER HURT HER!! YOU ASSHOLE!”

“ Y/N IS NOT DULL!! SHE IS NOT JUST CUTE! SHE IS FUCKING GORGEOUS WAY BETTER THAN THAT STUPID BLONDE YOU HAVE NOW!! “

unknowest to them, y/n was sitting against the wall of the building the two had met up and cried silently.

“ YOU-Yo...You promised me...you promised.”

bokuto weeps falling onto his knees infront of his bestfriend.

he promised to take care of her and love her

to never hurt her

and he failed

“ i guess her light is to bright that it...*choke* it blinded you akaashi....it blinded you from seeing her beauty.”

Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

this y/n shook her head and woke up from her daydreaming. she did not know that she stopped the car in front of his house for a minuts. the s/c female sighed shakingly and pushed on the pedal to continue on going.

she needed to move on...but she knew she would never.

Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

she continued on driving more hearing his laugh ringing in her ears as memories kept on flushing through. she hoped he was happy

she hoped it was worth it for him

losing all his friends

losing his bestfriend

losing her

Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

present y/n looked up with a microphone in hand as she watched the audience infront of her sing the lyrics.

they all looked at her with eyes of support

the same ones her friends and family gave her as she tried to move one

y/n broke down smiling and blowing kisses at her fans as she sang her song

I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

she was letting it out

she finally moved one

she wanted everyone to know that she was inlove once to and that no one is alone.

she felt free and happy

and...she got her drivers license. yeah, she was 20 years old, and should have gotten it earlier, but she had him...she had him to take her away from here.

now she has herself and her license

one that they planned to get it together after akaashi said that she needed one even if she sucked at driving. it made the two laugh.

now that was just a memory

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone

she sung softly

not noticing a pair of grey-blue eyes staring up at her with awe. the girl he called “ dull and boring” was far from that, he was blind.

her brightest was so bright that it made him blind.

“ whoever broke y/n like that it stupid”

“ right? when she said that her ex ghosted her and left her for someone else it was so sad! they were childhood friends too!”

“ his lost.”

“ it was your lost akaashi.” he muttered to himsef watching the female laugh and cry at the song, she wrote about their love story.

'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

she finally felt free after writing this song, but her love for the boy was still there. first love is hard fo forget of course. it’s the one that hurts the most.

she was not perfect

he was not either

it took him to realize how much he needed her

when he let her go

akaashi was wrong

she was bright

she was not dull

he was just blind to it all...

blinded by her beauty

blinded by her personality

and her glow

that it made him ignorant to it all.

maybe his beautiful y/n was too bright for him

too bright for him to handle.

as i said sorry but not sorry T-T

i am also crying tbh. if yall are.

bc idk why i hate it when ppl cheat but i keep reading angsty fanfics about it bc they are so good. don't cheat ppl it hurts

i will be uploading more on my masterlist soon! so watch out!

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

May I please order a cake (written matchup for haikyuu)? I can be described as introverted and withdrawn because of events in life despite being outgoing and lively in the past. I randomly doze off and daydream a lot when I’m alone, with friends, and family. Because of my introverted personality I am often mistaken for cold a lot because of my “resting bitch face.” Once people get to know me I am just emotionally shy and empathetic. Even though I can respond and identify to the feeling of others, I have a hard time expressing my own and try not to express it often. When I’m with friends I am very upbeat, joyful, and hardworking by supporting my friends and family and putting their needs before my own and keeping them happy. I’m pretty much independent and a hard worker that spends too much caring for everyone but myself. My friends describe me as a good listener and easy to talk with because I Am open-minded and easygoing. I like to watch anime, read manga, play video games (final fantasy and kingdom hearts: my favorite series. also metal gear, solid, resident evil etc.), watch DC comic films and shows XD Besides that, my ultimate favorite hobbies include drawing fan arts of Kpop groups & anime, while listening to music (second ultimate favorite hobby). I also like to swim and drive around because of my love for adventures and imagination (also relaxation). I have a strong passion of disliking bugs (especially cockroaches). I especially love to eat sweets , in particular boba and macaroons. I have big brown eyes, long wavy brown hair, baby face (don’t look my age. I Am mistaken for looking 13-17), slender body. I am half-Chinese, el salvadoran, and French descendent. Sexuality: heterosexual Age: 24 gender: female.

Were gonna age our boy up for you here

We’ll say your both 24 here

🍰 for @otakupandasworld

Romantic Matchup

Kita Shinsuke

How yall met

Aran had actually introduced you two

You and Aran have been friends for a while

And he couldn't help but notice how similar you and his ex captain acted

So when kita decided to come into the city to visit

He thought it would be a good idea to introduce you two

You two didn't really talk to each other at first

And Aran was afraid that introducing you two was a mistake

However he was proven wrong when he came back from the bathroom to see Kita smiling

Wait

Kita was smiling?

Omg

Did he just laugh at something you said?

Turns out when Aran was gone you and kita had fallen into a conversation about his rice farm

You had told him that you really wanted to live out in the country because you feel like you needed to spend a year or two just focusing on yourself

He laughed saying he had felt the same way before he moved

He told you that he would be in the city for a few days if you ever wanted to hang out

And if you ever decided of moving to the country to give him a call

You two had hung out a few more times before he went back home

And you even stayed in touch when he went back

about a month later you had called him saying you were going to take a vacation in the country and asked if it would be alright if you stayed with him while you were there

He agreed and soon enough you were at his front door with your bags

Since you guys were so far out in the country it really allowed you both to get to know each other

And by the end of your stay you realized how much you liked living in the country

So you decided to move

Kita had kindly offered for you to stay with him until you could get a place of your own

Which you accepted

After about 3 months of living together kita had confessed that he's grown feelings for you

Lucky for him you felt the same way

Yeah lets just say you never ended up finding your own place...

What they love about you

He loves how you seem to always know hows hes feeling

Now Kita is a man of very few words

And even fewer expressions

He knows that this can cause problems when some people are trying to read his emotions

But somehow you always seem to know how he's feeling without telling you

He loves how caring you are

Even though you said you wanted to move to the country to focus on you

You still check in with all of your friends and family almost everyday

There have even been times where you take the long journey back to the city because someone needed you

He loves that you care so much

But he also wishes you would take some time to care for yourself too

He loves how hardworking/helpful you are

Your always helping kita around the farm whenever you can

And he can tell you put all of your effort into helping

And when your not helping on the farm

You can usually be found inside helping tidy up the house

Honestly kitas never had a helping hand around the farm before

So he really appreciates it whenever you offer to help

He loves your sense of adventure

Every once in awhile you'll drag him off of the farm

And just go driving around the countryside

Seeing What new places you can find

Ngl you've gotten lost many many times on these little road trips

But that just adds to the fun!

Favorite things to do together

Omg

This man SCREAMS domestic

Like hell find little joys in doing things like

Cooking dinner with you

Reading with you

Taking walks with you

Cleaning with you

The little things yk

But he does love it when you guys will take little getaways to the city

Hell admit running a farm can get exhausting

So he likes it when you two just pack your things and plan a weekend in the city

Going to shops

Exploring

Seeing old friends

He loves it all

Random Hc

He kills all the bugs inside the house

Thank god

And he doesn't even kill them

He just catches them and sets them free outside

Soft boi ❤️

He made you an art room inside the house

Every now and then hell just go in there and admire some of your works

Whenever you guys go to the market he makes sure to stock up on sweets for you

But he has to hide them so you don't eat them all

Sundays are your quote unquote relaxation days

It's basically where you tidy up the house while listening to music

Then spend the rest of the day enjoying eachothers company

Whether that be reading together

Watching movies together

Or playing video games together

He doesn't really care to play video games

But he likes to spend time with you so hell play them anyways

His nicknames for you include: Dear, My love, and Sweetness

Old couple vibes right here

Overall Aesthetic

Honeycore 🍯

Songs-

Falling for you (peachy and mxmtoon)

Put your head on my shoulder (paul anka)

Can't help falling in love with you (Elvis)

Mr.Sandman (The Chordettes)

[georgemackayhey]

Like Real People Do

“Hii can you do an imagine, "Your first time with George" maybe as an insecure/uneasy reader"

"Can you pleeaaassse write more nsfw stuff? More Than A Night Out gave me my rights"

Alright yall, heed the 18+ warning! 

Seriously, I really don't want to block anyone (I love yall!) On that note... I wouldn't say this theme is my strong suit, nor have I been in a good headspace, but boy did I try my best ♡ 

w/c: 3k

───※ ·❆· ※───

You didn't date.

You called off meeting up with strangers in bars and listening to them tell half-assed life stories, embellishing in hopes they'd get to have their way with you in the same evening.

You were happy to mingle among friends on weekends and at parties, but going home alone felt safe. Keeping to yourself was the best bet, having learned your lesson by now. You recalled more unpleasant domestic experiences than ones that left you daydreaming of more. So you simply stayed single.

Some of your friends didn't regard your limits, tricking you into double dates and the like. Other friends understood but still gushed over their brothers and cousins in hopes you'd be intrigued by their qualities and demand to be introduced with wedding rings on standby.

And then there were the friends who never asked or bothered you about it at all. George was one of those friends.

He was your ride to your friend groups monthly movie theater meet up's. And he always let you take home his leftovers after dinners he wasted chatting with your mutual friends about books and culture.

In turn, you let George borrow your favorite albums. And you'd always saved him a seat in the back of bars you had to show up to for friend's birthday parties, while they threw themselves between strangers on the dance floor. Times like then were when you got to know George best.

And during the last month of summer, George invited everyone to take over a beach house big enough for your ever-expanding group and more. Apparently some of his distant family owned the property but were hardly ever in the area to enjoy it. So they gave George a spare key, and insisted he treated the place like his own.

And thankfully, then, between your friends racing to the shore in the witching hour, and when everyone split up into pairs for the evening, George kept you company. You made a habit of joining each other on the rickety front porch, sharing a drink, and usually sitting in silence.

But there were nights you talked about the constellations you could see above the roaring ocean. And where you'd like to live if you had an unlimited budget. Where you'd come from and what you wanted, and didn't.

You went home to the most dreary September of all time. You used to adore the solitude of your dull apartment. But you missed waking up to your friend's laughter, having someone, if not many more, to enjoy market runs and mealtimes with. You had never felt more lonely. And you couldn't stop thinking of George.

When he came round to give you a lift to the movie theater, your usual ride together was quiet. The silence between you was heavy- you wondered if he noticed. You sat together in a boring film. Or maybe it was the best of all time. You could only focus on how close George was to you, how you'd recognized the feeling of his company. You wondered how to ask him to come around more often, without sounding pathetically desperate.

Luckily birthday parties and Halloween bashes kept coming. And you kept finding quiet places to listen to George tell his stories. And he would always share his drink, and ask about your family, and how you were doing.

One night when he invited everyone around to his flat and only a couple of your friends managed to show up, they headed out soon after dinner. You were left alone in George's kitchen to help clean up and wonder what to do with the rest of the early blue evening.

And even though your heart beat in your throat, and everything you thought to say sounded stupid in your head, you determined it was time.

During a much too easy card game at Georges table, when a conversation about some of the horrifically silly things George had witnessed you manage in the past; you decided to stop testing the waters, and address them.

"I can't believe you put up with me." You grinned, peering past your hand of playing cards to the guy sat beside you.

"I just like you," George answered simply, his ocean eye flickering up to meet yours for a beat.

"Really?" You asked, pushing for him to say more, hoping he got the hint.

"I really do." George grinned shyly, turning his attention back to his hand of playing cards he kept accidentally giving you glimpses of. You watched George bite his lip and fiddle with the cards as if he were arranging them just so.

"What if... I like you too?" It wasn't just his tousled yellow hair, or the way his smile was warmer than a ray of sun. It was his lame jokes. His soft answers. Him.

"You don't date." George rose a brow, keeping his eyes turned away. He wasn't bittered or mocking. He was accepting. George laid down his cards, to a game you weren't focused on at all anymore.

"I like you, George." You admit in a hush. His stunning eyes met yours. He seemed to consider your words, and much more. He started to speak a couple of times as he searched your features.

"So maybe... we can start slow..." You offered. You had never planned on opening up to anyone. But George had stuck around. He was always there when you needed him even when you hadn't known what you needed. He didn't make fun of your unreasonable anxieties and he always laughed at your jokes. Even the ones you knew weren't funny. You hadn't expected to ever let anyone close enough, you hadn't trusted anyone could feel like home. But before you could even decide, it was as if your heart grew a mind of its own and lept right out of your chest into George's orbit. So since he already seemed to have you, it seemed like common courtesy to at least let the guy know.

With a shy smile, George bore his brilliant blue eyes into yours, searching them for assurance. As you looked to each other you felt his knuckles brush yours, the back of his hand nervously creeping closer. George took one of his fingers and looped it around one of yours while he agreed that it would be silly for two people who felt the same way about each other to do nothing about it. So you did.

George started coming around when there wasn't any reason to, sometimes bringing take away, or asking you on walks around the park. Sometimes you'd sit in silence next to your favorite old tree and enjoy that last purple swirls in the dusk sky. And sometimes you'd watch films, one after another, pausing only to argue over the ending or make silly predictions.  And times like then, you curled into George's side like a sleepy cat. He'd carded his warm hand through your hair as you drifted off, content.

You got snowed into his flat when you showed up a few hours before the first-holiday party of the season; to help bake treats for everyone. As ice froze everyone's doors shut, the party was swiftly canceled but your plans for the evening weren't ruined at all.

George set up his den with extra blankets, finding the holiday channel on the telly, standing to refill your cup of tea during commercials so you didn't have to move. He kissed you that night, soft and kind, and slow. You both fell asleep on the floor among the mess of all the blankets he owned, while snow piled up and over the window sills.

You spent New Year's Eve much like the past couple before, watching your wild group of pals take shots and dance to bad music. George listened to you talk as you waited for the new year to set in, and he kept one of his fingers looped around yours almost all night long.

When the snow started to melt and your group of friends started squeezing into their cut off jeans from the year before, George invited everyone back to the beach house. He set a date and sent out invitations in the mail like it was the damn 1800's. Most every rsvp got sent back with the box labeled "going "grossly marked up.

George offered to give you a lift there, a day early so he could stock up on emergency snacks and soaps and even more DVDs in case the rains came and ruined your fun on the shore. You agreed happily and walked through the isles of a department store together, picking out essentials based on how well you knew your group of friends who might need them.

And while you laughed and helped and listened, you grew increasingly more fucking terrified. Because you'd never spent so long enjoying one person's company. You were enamored with George yes, but what's more, was- you trusted him. You never thought it was possible. But you really did. And the thing that you were most scared of, was having to accept the possibility that he didn't feel the same way.

Things like this had gone wrong before. Granted, things had never gone remotely close to this right before, either. But you still prepared yourself to hurt. It was always a possibility you were too afraid of risking. But George was different. You somehow knew even if he hurt you, it would be the loveliest heartbreak you'd ever feel.

You got to the beach house, completely abandoned since the last time you left it. You found your someone's favorite lost t-shirt in one of the bathrooms, and a lot of dust on the shelves. After clearing away some of the cobwebs and unloading all your groceries to their respective places, night began to fall.

The sky was still blue enough to admire the roaring ocean from the front porch. George brought out a couple of drinks, and you sat there together like you had the summer before. Only now, it was a little too chilly. So you said goodnight to the scenery, making a note of spending extra time to soak up its beauty the next morning.

And on your way inside you joked about how someone was bound to forget to pack something they needed, or bring one of the things George asked them to. You were wrapped up in laughter as you turned out the lights and drifted to settle in.

When you headed to the bedroom where all your bags had been discarded, you scurried off to the ensuite shower. This was the room George stayed in last year, a space you'd never stepped foot near until tonight.

And when you stepped back out into the bedroom, you realized you didn't want to leave.

George was busy turning down his bed covers to the dim night light in a far off corner. A dark shine beamed in from the moon in the window next to the quilted bed, and George never looked more beautiful- perfectly tousled hair. Kind, sleepy eyes. Yeah, you'd let him break your heart.

"What?" He laughed in a warm low rumble, catching you staring. You bit back a chuckle and crossed the room to meet him.

"I just love you. That's all." You informed, circling one of your fingers around his, gazing up to the guy.

You'd said so in passing, during game nights he helped you win and in the middle of lunches he'd managed to talk you into ordering. But nothing prompted you now, and the statement held an all-new kind of weight.

"I love you, too," George whispered in turn, raising his other hand to your cheek.

"Can I stay in here? With you?" You asked, keeping your gaze set and your voice low even though no one else was around to hear.

"I'd like that." George assured with a tiny grin.

You clamored into the big bed, pointing out the window to the moon over the ocean. George eased in behind you, gazing all the same. You tangled your hands together staring out the window for a while, giggling over nothing every now and again. He was so impossibly close, so warm next to you.

"George." You turned your head slowly, catching his attention. He looked at you, silently wondering what you wanted. But somehow you didn't need to say.

Somehow he knew to lean in for a kiss, soft and sweet. When he pulled away, you could tell he didn't want to. When George looked at you, you could tell he longed for more, but still kept his distance, kept your meek nature in mind. He was too kind, too considerate. There weren't words to convey how you felt. You knew what came next. You wanted George.

You reached for his hand, and brought it to rest in the dip of your waist. He kept his eyes steady on yours while his thumb brushed over the skin exposed where your shirt had ridden up.

"Kiss me again?" You asked, barely a whisper. George leaned in, almost before you could finish asking, to press his mouth against yours. You grabbed a fist full of his shirt to pull him closer while George let his hand travel to the small of your back, holding you perfectly against him. He kissed you slow and deep like he was trying to put you in a trance.

Whether he meant to or not, you wondered if it worked, as you melted into the mattress all while lazily pulling him almost all the way on top of you. This was as far as you'd ever taken things with George, yanking at each other's clothes while you kissed until you couldn't breathe.

So when you gently pushed George away, he started to retract back to his side of the bed without putting up a fight. But you sat up too. And George watched on in wonder when you sheepishly slid into his lap, your knees on either side of his hips.

Without a word you pulled George's shirt up, silently suggesting he take it all the way off.

When he did, you didn't relish the sight long before you dove in for another kiss. His skin was burning, and you could feel his heart hammer when your hand traveled across his chest. You moved your kisses to his neck, reveling in the feeling of being so close. George kept one arm gently wrapped around you as your teeth grazed a spot under his ear that made his breath catch in his throat.

"Y/n. Are you- Do you..." George began, keeping his hold around you all the same. You pulled away, gazing to George through your lashes while your heart teetered on the edge.

"Do you not want to?" You worried. You were so finally sure. But George might not have been. So you prepared to be let down gently, knowing George would at least be kind enough to break your fall.

"Yes." George let out a breathy laugh, reaching to hold your head in both of his hands. "Of course I want to do this. But I know how you feel and if you don't-"

"I trust you, George." You nodded, searching his eyes while a smile bloomed across your face. You'd been so nervous for a moment like this to come true. But everything was different with George. He made you laugh when you never expected to, he made you think about things in ways you'd never even considered. He was so the one for you.

You wrapped your fingers around George's wrist, bringing his plus to your lips. You watched George's eyes flutter as you planted a small kiss there, before moving his hand to your hip.

"Just go slow." You nodded, watching George's eyes open to meet yours. You leaned your forehead against his while he nodded, making you laugh.

He decorated your cheeks with gentle pecks and moved his hands under the hem of your shirt as you leaned in to capture his lips with yours again. And because you spent a while that way, you weren't nervous to act upon taking things even further.

Kisses turned seering as George wrangled your shirt off. His lips traveled down your throat as you settled deeper into his lap, shocked by how easy this was. Your kisses grew longer and sloppier while your layers started to collect on the floor.

You impressed yourself by how effortlessly you reach to pull away George's trousers. He managed to kick them aside while you kept your lips on his, laughing between breaks for air.

But when he pulled you back into his lap, when his fingers danced around your waistband, you were suddenly swept up in the realization that this was happening. Like, really happening.

"Uh, wait a second." You halted in a shaky breath. You didn't want to stop, not completely. You just needed to assess things for a moment, to catch up with this new reality in which this wasn't upsetting or dull or any of the things being with anyone else ever was.

George stalled in an instant, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. "Do you want to stop?" He asked gently, hands firmly pressed against your back, eyes glowing right into yours.

"No way." You breathed with a grin. You knew it would be better than before, with George. Probably the best. It already was, you realized with a smile, encouraging George one more time. Your hips rolled against his, causing his heavenly sigh in your ear.

He wriggled you out of the last of your clothes and made you feel like a wonder of the world, tracing the shapes you were made up of with his pretty fingers. By the time you were laid against the pillows admiring the halo of light ringing around George's waves of hair, he asked again if you were sure about this.

"So long as you are." You swallowed.

"Of course I'm sure. God, I'm so sure." George pressed a kiss to your face between sentences, making you giggle and swoon all at once. "I've never been so sure of anyone but you. I'd like to keep it that way." George rambled, peppering a few more loving, gentle kisses to your cheek. "But if you want to stop for any reason, we'll stop. Just say so."

"Thank you, George." You grinned after a beat, knowing he really meant it. Recognizing how deeply he really cared for you, watching him search your face for validation. Watching George watch you, contentedly, like he had dozens of times before now. He gave you a slowly sleepy blink, ocean blue eyes shining brighter when they opened again.

George leaned closer, hovering over you with his eyes locked on yours. He molded a kiss to your lips before anything. Then to your cheek. Then his eyes fluttered to meet yours once more.

"Slow." You rose a brow, whispering a reminder, but it was really more of a green light for him to finally take the next step.

George repeated you, in a barely audible hush, soaking up the look in your eye. A lithe grin painted his lips while you held your breath. You accounted for the feeling of his fingers loosely tangled in your hair, his thumb brushing across your temple every now and again. You'd nearly forgotten everything else while swimming in those warm icy eyes of his. He didn't break you from your reverie when he gave a small nod. The gesture only settled you further, as you responded by lacing your fingers around the back of his neck.

George kept his hand nearly cradling your head as he pushed closer. His thumb brushing across the pulse of your temple was keeping you grounded while your heart threatened to soar into the clouds. While your breathing grew deeper, while he moved as close as he could until he couldn't anymore.

"You okay?" George asked, his voice beautifully strained.

"Uh-huh." You gazed at him through hooded eyes as you adjusted everything, including the realization that this was happening. He wasn't even moving yet. And he waited until you had to ask him to, with his head buried in your neck. After a couple of breaths, you looked to George, giving him a nod. He pressed his forehead against yours and moved his hips.

A tame, steady pace set in as you stopped George from asking if you were alright, again, assuring him you were really, very good. Your raspy encouragement must have given George the sound authority to go about awing you further.

He kept one hand against your temple while his other trailed down your side, fingers deliberately pressed into your skin as he brought your leg around his hip. George's strong-arm hooked under your back to keep you secured against him. He picked up the pace as your hands tangled in his hair, around his shoulder, holding on to the moment. To George.

You wondered why you waited so long to feel this damned good, while George spoke low in your ear. He listed off all the things he liked best about you, and why. He planted clumsy kisses to your lips. He made you see stars brighter than all the far off constellations you were used to pointing out from the shoreline. You seemed to float among them, above everything. Time slowed down while your heart sped up, somehow, and while everything around you faded into an impossibly dull background, you still had George.

His weight was warm and secure. His breath was hot on your neck. His voice was saccharine in your ear.  When he eventually eased next to your side in a heap, the cool of the night was still shielded by him.

You snuggled to his chest, like an old sleepy cat while he kept repeating how he loved you. You said so too, as many times as you could manage before drifting to sleep all tangled together.

The next morning came slow. You made coffee and watched the sunrise above the waves from the porch. When your friends started showing up in pairs and trios and more, they all seemed sort of relieved to find you and George attached at the hip. They greeted you as if you'd always been a packaged deal, and they didn't bat an eye when you stuck together to roam the vast empty beach. There was no fighting over choosing partners when someone broke out a new board game that night. When your friends were all gathered around the dinner table, and all the extra snacks and gifts and surprises for the summer were stored away, you still had George.

Maybe things wouldn't always be so easy. There would likely be fights and upsets and questions that didn't always have answers. But George was worth it. You had him now, you loved him and he couldn't stop reminding how dearly he loved you. Nothing had ever hurt so good before. You decided to keep it that way.

───※ ·❆· ※───

[fuckwritersblock]

I’ve seen a few posts asking for recommendations for romance interactive/visual novels and finally I decided it would be better to just post about it rather than replying. Note that I have been playing this genre for years but I also am picky. There are some games that I have played which I would not necessarily rec*.

Interactive Novels (Purely text based)

The Wayhaven Chronicles (Mobile, Steam)

Creme de la Creme (Mobile, Steam)

Tally Ho (Mobile, Steam)

**Fallen Hero: Rebirth (Mobile, Steam)

Visual Novels

Arcade Spirits (PS 4, Switch, Xbox One, Steam, itch.io)

Choices (Mobile)

Dream Daddy (PS 4, Switch, Steam, Humble, Mobile)

A Rose in Winter (Steam, Itch.io)

You should also watch out for “Best Friend Forever” (Switch/Steam/Itch.io) and download the demo. I also personally have not yet played “Butterfly Soup” but I hear great things about it.

If you want to know more about the games along with the pros and cons are for each game (in my opinion) check under the cut. but it is. Long.

Interactive Novels

The Wayhaven Chronicles - Fantasy/romance. You play as a detective who has been tasked to solve a murder in your small town of Wayhaven. You have been tasked with agents from a mysterious agency, Unit Bravo, to help you. But are they all that they seem? 

Pros:

Sexy vampires. (This is not a spoiler it’s literally in the description of the game.)

The writing is incredible. Mishka Jenkins knows the tropes and uses them expertly.

The romances are all very good in their own unique way.

All of the characters are well developed and interesting.

There are two books of this series out!

Cons:

ACAB. And you play a detective at a station where there’s literally a state where you either are “by the book” or “bend the rules” so like. Not great.

There are two books out of seven for the series so know you will be left wanting more.

You can play as non-binary and there are a couple of background non-binary characters in the story but there are no non-binary romances.

Creme de la Creme - Adventure/romance (if you’re into dark academia, this is for you). You play as a student sent to a finishing school and are expected to bring prestige back to the family name.

Pros:

This plot takes some turns y’all.

You can play as non-binary and there also can be non-binary romance options!

There is aro/ace representation!!

Hannah Powell-Smith is married to a woman so like nice.

Cons:

There is some commentary that sometimes works well and sometimes falls flat. Mainly the critique on power and the upper class works well until the endings where many still benefit from this without characters putting much more thought in it.

Tally Ho - Comedy/Romance. Inspired by Wooster and Jeeves. You play a servant living in London during 1930′s. You work for Rory Wintermint, and must accompany them to their Aunt Primrose’s estate. Hijinks ensue.

Pros:

Light and fun and adorable.

Romances 

There are some really funny moments in this.

Cons:

This was one of my first interactive novels and I have spent hours and hours on this game and there are still achievements that I have absolutely no idea how to achieve.

It’s a light and airy game so know that if romance is your thing, it doesn’t delve as deep into those relationships as other games on here.

You can play with they/them pronouns but there is no other non-binary characters.

Fallen Hero: Rebirth - Action/Superhero. You play a former hero that has started acting on your plan to become a supervllian. You must work against your original crew and that gets. Complicated.

(**Heads up, this is a very good game it’s not romance-focused. I also have not replayed it in some time. and other people could describe it better than I have. So if this short description sounds interesting, I recommend looking it up on tumblr + other areas.)

 Pros:

Immersive and thoughtful small details.

The romances are complex and certainly not easy, but that’s certainly a strength of the writing.

Malin Rydén self-describes as “unapologetically queer”

Cons:

Not so much of a con but something yall should know! This game handles heavy topics as your character descends into villainy. Your character experiences depression and a variety of Rough Stuff. Keep that in mind if you are also in a rough place mentally rn.

I’m gonna be real with ya fam and I think this could just be me. There were multiple parts of this game that I felt lost in. I could not fully understand what was going on. BUT I also feel like in many places that is the intention for the character to feel disorientated so take that what you will.

Visual Novels

Arcade Spirits - Dating Sim/Comedy. You play as a depressed person who was just fired. You are convinced you are suffering from a generational long curse. Your phone matches you with a job at the Funplex arcade with various characters. Will you ensure the arcade survives? Will you find love along the way?

Pros:

this is GOD-TIER visual novel content y’all!!

The system that they use for stats are unlike anything I’ve ever seen but it’s leagues ahead. You do not have to be constantly monitoring your stats as you would typically for other games.

Made with so much love for the content and attention to detail. 

Diverse cast that are all so fun and lovable in their own way.

You get to create your MC’s hair/skin/clothes color and then you’ll see them throughout the game?? WILD.

Cons:

BECAUSE this game was made with love and and attention to detail, if you have absolutely no interest in the world of video games you may feel detached.

The character creator is very limited. Which I do get to a certain extent with all of the different shots they draw the MC in. But I hope you want your character to be thin with a lot of angular facial features 

Choices - An app where there is a series of stories you can play “chapters” of using keys, which replenish every couple of hours.

Pros:

It’s a very focused on modern romance stories, but there are also such a variety of different genres of books! Fantasy (Blades of Light & Shadow), Historical fiction/romance (Desire & Decorum), Thriller/Horror (It Lives in the Woods). I have PLENTY of recs if you hmu.

There are...Many a good romances in these tho like I have blushed and sighed and daydreamed about these stories.

Cons:

You need patience for this game. It’s a free app and therefore has a system where you need to understand the key system and be patient to collect “diamonds” to purchase premium choices.

Many of the books are gender-locked where you can only play as a woman.

Choices has been criticized that they need better treatment/more screentime for their characters of Color. They have said they are committing to do better, but we will see.

Same has been said about their wlw romances.

Just as there are good stories, there are also stories that have something to be desire. I have varying issues with some books that have plot holes, unengaging writing, etc. These are good for you to play to earn more diamonds though.

Dream Daddy - Dating Sim/Comedy. (This game was the talk of the town when it came out in 2017 but in case you weren’t in the genre at the time!!) You are a single dad who is moving with your daughter Amanda to Maple Bay. You meet other single dads and date them while also trying to be a good father to your daughter.

Pros:

This writing is sharp as a tack. The comedy is on point and this game does a great job transitioning into serious moments.

There are awesome little mini-games that you’ll find in these!

The characters of each datable dad first seem like caricatures, but their backstories are complex and have depth.

The character creator is chef’s kiss v good. AND you can play as a trans dad like how neat.

Cons:

There have been plenty of conversation about cons for this game but frankly I don’t truly believe it has a con for what it is.

If you’re not a pun person this game will be. Difficult.

A Rose in Winter - Romance. You are playing as Rose, a girl who determined to prove herself as a knight. She has found herself at an inn and must choose between a series of Princes to help on their journey.

Pros:

Cute stories!

Except for the green prince which is heart-fluttering. (and if you play, I recommend playing last)

Adorable art.

Cons:

This reads more like an ACTUAL visual novel. Your choice (besides the initial choice you make on which prince you pursue) means little, if there is choice at all.

It’s definitely simpler than other games on this list but that’s not a bad thing as much as you should know!

*Please know that I did not include The Arc*n* on purpose! I used to really love that app but the way certain things were handled (both IRL and in the plot) I would not recommend it now.

[fieldfullofbangtan]

bts hc: dating bts

a/n: im ashamed for not having made this yet like df. some of these turned out so long im sorry...

Seokjin

your happiness is all that matters to him

if you’re smiling he’s smiling

which is why his dadjokes go from 0-100 when he’s around you

windshield-wiper laugh is all you hear

you’ll get annoyed and try to hit him

but he doesn’t mind

cuz you don’t hit hard, you hit out of ~love~

always gets his way

probably because he’s a pro at pouting

parades you around

so proud to be your boyfriend

would give you the title “most beautiful person in the universe”

cuz worldwide doesn’t do you justice

the boys would cringe sooo hard at the two of you

honestly what single person wouldn’t you guys are the cutest couple of all time

“haters gon’ hate”

Namjoon

so caring

even though he’s the one who constantly hurts himself he’s always so worried about you

you guys aren’t even close the the point of having kids but he already acts like such a dad

“hey Taehyung can you empty the dishwasher”

“I know you like those pants Jimin but they’re too revealing, think about our audience!”

meanwhile you’re daydreaming about him being the future father of you children

protects you with his life

and you know he does because occasionally he’ll “save” you from tripping or something and he’ll hurt himself instead

sometimes you wonder if he behaves like that just so you can nurse him back to health

the embodiment of daddy

a dad in the streets

a daddy in the sheets

b/c of his leader role in bts you automatically became the illegitimate mom of the rest of the members

“(Y/N) eomma”

“omg Jin... one; she’s younger than you, and two;  I don’t know how I feel about you calling my gf ‘mom’”

“It’s just a funny nickname calm down Namjoon... appa”

fkn weird

Yoongi

loves you

but also hates you because you’ve exposed him

such a softie around you

the others aren’t terrified of him anymore

now they just tease him :(

as soon as he sees you he just lights up

kinda want to quote the entire song “i don’t care” by ed sheeran

yup he’s so soft he’s living out a justin bieber and ed sheeran song

Whipped

with a capital W

even has a photo album on his phone titled the poop emoji with pictures of you

calls you his soulmate

“Yoongi hyung has been in his studio for 7 hours now...”

“Don’t worry I’ve got this. *opens and closes front door* WOW HEY (Y/N) WE’VE MISSED Y-”

*boy bursts out of his studio*

“BABY?- ...i hate you guys”

the other members use you against him

if they want him to do anything they’ll just make you ask him first

“yoongi pleaaase follow us to karaoke”

“fuck no”

“(y/n) says she’s coming”

“i’ll be there”

Hoseok

everybody has their own view on perfection

for him it was you

he never shut up about you

would plan amazing romantic dates

just so that he could see your surprised and happy face

you would never not support him

in your eyes he was the most talented person on earth

he would just stare at you in awe from time to time

not really believing that you guys were dating

“hoseok... hoseok?”

“huh? what?”

“is there something on my face? you were staring-”

*kisses you out of no where*

bitter jk: “yea (y/n) you have a hoseok on your face”

pda aint an issue for him

the annoyed groans that echoed around you two when you were a little too lovey-dovey just fueled you

nj: “can you guys please get a room”

“ok”

*goes into namjoons room*

“HEY NO WTF”

Jimin

would kling onto you like a koala

almost as if you would disappear if he let go

co-dependant

sleeping next to him is a challenge

because he wants to be so close to you he’s practically merging into you

you don’t mind

you like it

the other members don’t though

“jimin ill give you 100 bucks if you can keep a 1 meter distance from (y/n) for 5 minutes”

“bet”

*fails miserably*

did i mention co-dependent

would ask you to follow him to the kitchen from the living room

because he’d miss you to death otherwise

everyone thought his clingy-ness was just a phase

it’s wasn’t

loves it when you give him praise

you try to help him get over his self-doubt

sometimes he listens

sometimes he doesn’t

it’s a work in progress

Taehyung

there’s never a dull moment when you are together

the other members love you almost as much as Tae does

because you make the group dynamic even better

probably because you balance out Tae’s occasional weirdness

“(Y/N) YOUR BOYFRIEND IS LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY AGAIN”

“im on it”

*ends up laughing uncontrollably together*

“well fuck”

so pure and kindhearted

he loves to make you laugh

though sometimes when he’s feeling down you’re the one who needs to make him laugh

it’s an easy task tho

some cringy aegyo and you’re good to go

for him family is important

so the fact that his entire family adores you makes him want to marry you right here right now

“mrs. kim! taehyung’s right here- oh... yes i’ve been eating well. no don’t worry i just lost a little weight due to stress. he’s been taking good care of me i promise mrs. kim. sure lunch this weekend sounds great! see you then!”

“was that my mom?”

“yea”

“did she ask to talk to me?”

“umm... no” 

“wow”

don’t know if offended or happy

Jungkook

yall are hella sneaky

pranks galore

you’re a power’couple

unstoppable in every way

especially when playing video games

playing mario-kart?

first and second place

yall even tied for first place a few times

jin: “IM NOT PLAYING THIS ANYMORE THEY ARE CHEATING”

“no hyung, you just suck”

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK”

you were cheating tho by teaming up

cuz if you played against each other it would turn into a fight

you’re both stubborn as hell

and can joke-argue with each other just for fun

you make sure it never goes too far tho

as soon as one of you actually start to get mad/annoyed for real you just move it to the bedroom 

 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

you’re each others safe space and support system

he’d come to you whenever he wasn’t feeling good and you’d offer all the time and love that you had

those times often ending in deep conversations about the meaning of life and him falling asleep on the couch with his head in your lap

you make him so happy

and he makes you so happy

[authorkimberlygrey]

Shitty Things Nobody Tells You About (Self) Publishing And How To Deal With Them

This isn’t in my usual style because I got tired of trying to do the paragraphs thing. 

fuck that I think in bullet points and curse words, y’all can deal with it. 

There’s a readmore a bit further down because this it got long don’t worry. 

It's Expensive

When you self-publish, you are becoming your own publishing company. 

you have to pay for everything

Editing

Cover

Marketing shit

fifteen billion other things. 

There are places that you can get services for cheap but you gotta be careful about that cause you might just get what you pay for. tbh I dont’ have much advice on this, its just a thing you’re gonna have to figure out, sorry. 

Everyone wants a piece of the pie

The shittier members of your friends, family, and community will probably try to horn in on your hard work

“Am I in the dedications?” 

“Am I in the book?” 

“Can I have a free copy?” 

etc. etc. 

fuck these people, you don’t need that shit. 

you just wrote a whole ass book, go you! 

they don’t get to take away from that. 

Shitty businesses definitely will try to horn in on your hard work

you will get messages

and emails 

and offers 

and followers 

Fuck those guys

fuck them so hard. 

It may be tempting because they’ll sound nice and shit

but listen to me: 

The reason they’re trying to get you to come to them is that nobody else is and they want to prey on your assumed inexperience. 

because the reason nobody is coming for them is that they are shitty. They are so shitty. 

I have gotten three messages from a company called Doran 

They are very professional, pretty messages

I have my very own publishing consultant. 

Doran has a total of 1.8 stars on google ratings. 

Block these fuckers immediately 

Do not pass go, do not give them the 200 dollars that they are asking for. 

Fuck them. 

Again, you wrote a whole ass book

they haven’t done shit. 

They don’t get to horn in on your hard work. 

tell them to fuck off

I’m putting the rest of this stuff under the cut because it got too long and I don't want to obliterate y’all’s dashes.

Post-Publication Depression

 Not everyone deals with it

Some lucky assholes get to feel accomplished and happy 

But you’re not gonna know until you get there 

keep an eye on that shit 

I’m not fucking joking here y’all 

this is shitty. 

Nobody talks about it because Ya Gotta Keep Up The Happy Author Image 

But fuck that, I’m not letting yall trip facefirst into this shit unprepared. 

You might feel like nobody cares about you, about your book, about anything. 

You may feel like you’ll never write anything again 

You may feel like what you have written is a shitty, shitty pile of steaming garbage and you are doomed to die cold and alone in the night

You may miss the world and the characters and feel like they’ve died and taken a part of you with them

You may feel a billion different shitty things and it sucks so bad my friends

You just did like several solid months of stressful shit at the very least. 

You are a rubber band and you have just been stretched to the limit and unleashed against the unforgiving back of the head of reality by some dumb fuck kid who’s supposed to be paying attention in class. 

But look at me: It's not gonna be here forever

There are always people who care for real

You will write again and it will be awesome

What you wrote is awesome, no matter how many imperfections you may see in it right now. 

The world and characters are with you always. There is literally nothing stopping you from continuing to write shit with them. or even just daydreaming shit. They are yours and the world cannot take them from you. 

You will get through this, it may take a week, or a month, or longer and it may be shitty that whole time 

but it will end. And you’ll make it through. 

My advice?: 

Get a support system

Tell them that this is a thing

Have them check in on you 

Don’t try to do this alone because you don’t have to. 

It's Difficult to Find Information

Remember that part where I talked about how everyone wants to horn in on your hard work? 

yeah. 

It is entirely possible that I’m just shit at researching but all of the videos, articles, and free PDFs that I found fell into one or both of these categories: 

Either they’re from a publishing company that wants to discourage you from self-publishing so that they can publish your book for you. 

fuck you, pocket guide to publishing

Or for some godforsaken reason, its full of utterly useless fluff to give it length or to cover up the fact that the creator doesn’t actually know what the fuck they’re talking about

The thing you need

if its there

will be one sentence long and buried somewhere in all the fluff somewhere in the middle-end of the thing

somewhere

fuck if you’ll ever find it though. 

What I recommend is that you find a publishing mentor

Someone who’s been through this shit and can give you the short answer instead of letting you sit in front of your computer crying because you just need to know what button to push what the fuck

Again, maybe I’m just really shitty at research, but still 

publishing mentor

good shit

crying over ingramspark’s shitty, shitty website design:

bad shit

shoutout to @brynwrites for answering my neverending stream of questions when I finally gave up trying to find the information on the internet or on ingramspark

do not look for things on ingramspark 

just dont’

there is no logic or organization to that hellhole. 

the blog posts may have promising titles 

but the information you want is probably buried in the middle of a tangentially related article 

the rest of the internet isn’t much better tbh. 

Its Easy To Get Lost In The Crowd

There is a metric fuckton of books out there

and another two fucktons of WIPs 

because none of us writeblrs seem to have an attention span longer than two chapters before we get distracted by a shiny new idea

you know I’m right

People on tumblr are shitty in general at reblogging shit despite that being the point of the website

you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink 

People on writeblr are really busy with their heads stuffed up their own WIPs and they tend not to notice other shit

we’re all guilty of it, its fine

but it can be depressing

its not personal tho

What ya gotta do is make friends

yes, I am literally telling you to believe in the Power of Friendship.

You gotta make yourself an apocalypse survival group my pals

You and yours on the wild seas of greater indifference

it’ll be great 

All that matters is the people that matter 

Fuck everyone else or you’re gonna be crying yourself to sleep for the rest of your life

nobody wants that. 

Post-Publication Depression

y’all

seriously

I’ve cried myself to sleep more nights in the last two weeks than I have ever since I was hella depressed in high school

-100/10 would recommend

but I forgot to opt out of this subscription

this shitty, shitty subscription. 

God I’m so tired. 

Btw I’m going on hiatus for like a week after this last giveaway ends

Its been twelve days since Ascendant was published but it feels like a god damn month

fuck this shit I’m out

see y’all later

P.S please reblog the last giveaway or someth if you want a book. 

[thehomierobbstark]

Let’s Talk About Sex: Intermission II

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Intermission I Chapter 3

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader [#TeamErikDon’tDateWhiteChicks]

Prompt: Aight, so iOKnoW bout yall but… I got some mad ‘fears’ about sex 😂😂😂. I got so many questions, so many horrible imaginations, so many embarrassing ass scenarios I’ve thought of in my head about what might happen when I finally do the do. Basically, ya girl been thankin (thinking) too much, and I done fucked around and thought up this shit.

A/N: A longggg time ago a lovely anon came in my inbox spitting an idea, and my ass finally got around to making it happen.  It’s a lil modified, but I hope y’all still enjoy it nonetheless.  Thank you anon for your brilliance!!

Warnings: At the bottom 👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿.

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!!  x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sigh, twirling the forkful of salad around in your fingers as you stare off into space, lost in thought.  Ranch dressing drips off a piece of lettuce onto your tupperware lid, splattering a little onto the table, but you don’t even notice, your mind entirely somewhere else.

“Hello?”

The voice of your best friend, Nichelle, filters through to your brain, and you irritatedly bring your mind back to the present, unhappy to be interrupted.

“Huh?”

“Damn girl! You was zoned tf out! What the hell you thinking about that got your ass stuck like that!?” She interrogates you, her eyes squinted in suspicion.  While you normally wouldn’t have wasted anytime telling her about one of the many sex daydreams you regularly found yourself having, the one between you, Erik, and a certain little razor wasn’t one you were willing to share this time.

This one was your own naughty little secret, made even more special by the fact that this time it was an actual memory rather than a fantasy.

Clearing your throat, you wave her off.

“Nothing girl, just thinking about work,” you lie, popping the salad into your mouth and chewing.

“…Uh huh.” She grunts, not buying it. “All I know is, don’t nobody ever catch me thinking bout work with a smile on my face and biting my lip. You must got some bomb ass benefits girl,” Picking up her own fork she eats a mouthful of pasta, shaking her head at you.

Your nostrils flare and you bring your hand to your mouth to keep food from flying out of it as you snort, laughing from being caught.  You didn’t even realize your face was out here exposing you like that.

“Mind your business, bitch,” you tell her after swallowing, reaching over to grab your tea and take a sip.

“I’m just sayin, if you gone be out here reliving your sexcapades you can at least try not to eyefuck the table while you do it.” She shrugs her shoulders, and you’re grateful this time there wasn’t anything in your mouth because you immediately giggle at her statement.

“Shut the hell up Chelle, damn.” You whisper as your eyes shift around the small outdoor cafe to make sure no one else overheard. “Besides, don’t you have your own man and kinky sex dreams you should be thinking about? Stop being so damn nosy.” You fuss at her, angling your fork before stabbing into her pasta and stealing some.

“Girl I would except that nigga not here” Her head falls back and she grumbles, her face sulking.  “He’s in Georgia at some stupid work ‘thing’, which means I don’t get any dick until next Friday. That’s why I gotta live vicariously through you bitch! Now pleaseee, tell me something, I’m dying over here.”

She gives you a sad puppydog look, poking out her lips at you.

You roll your eyes. “Girl you know that shit don’t work on me.  Why don’t you just FaceTime Brian and tell him you’re horny? Isn’t phone sex y’all’s thing?” You take some more pasta, savoring the delicious Cheesecake Factory takeout.

Blowing a raspberry, she leans her head on her fist.  “We had to stop doing that after he answered the phone with his mom in the car.”

“Wait, WHA-“

“It’s a long story, don’t worry about it. Anyway,” She waves her hand as if waving the cringey memory away. “How have you and Erik been?  I know y’all probably been fucking nonstop since you got your tests back, huh? Ol bowlegged ass,” she eyes you coyly with a knowing smirk that says ‘I know what y’all been doing’.

You chuckle yet again at your hilarious friend, so thankful for her ability to always keep you laughing.

“Actually, we haven’t been fucking, thank you very much. My broke ass lungs made sure of that.”  You tell her the story of how you almost choked and died from seeing Erik’s dick, and when she finally stopped cackling at you she grabbed your hand, patting the back of it.

“Oh you poor, poor bitch,” Her face turned down into a faux look of pity.  “You might as well reserve your burial plot now because from the looks of it your ass not gonna survive him dicking you down.”

You snatch your hand from hers, glaring at her.

“I mean let’s be honest here,” she continues, ignoring you, “your ass talk a lot of shit, so you’re mad trippin if you don’t think he won’t obliterate your walls given the first opportunity.”

You pick up your phone, opening your messages while you let her words go in one ear and out the other. It was bad enough you had to live with the knowledge that the mere sight of seeing Erik naked had you hyperventilating, you didn’t need to think of what other ridiculous responses your body would have once he actually started putting use to it.

She continues roasting you as you click on a new message from Erik, seeing a link to a video attached.  A message accompanies it.

Put in your headphones before you watch.

You fish your earbuds out of your purse, completely ignoring your friend now.  Clicking them into the audio plug, you put the buds in your ears before clicking on the link.

The video starts with a view of Erik sitting at what looks like his home office desk, clad in a red T-shirt and a pair of black sweats.  The top of his face is cut off, but you can tell its him by the signature keloids sprinkled over his arms and the telltale smirk on his face displaying his gold fronts, letting you know he was up to no good.

“Hi baby, I miss you today,” the audio plays, and you hear his smooth voice bleed into your ears, sounding so sensual.  You almost forget that it’s a video and respond back, wanting to talk to him and tell him you miss him too.

“I can’t wait till you get home, but I wanted to show you something first before you got here.”

He pushes himself away from the desk, rolling back in his chair, and you’re able to see more of his lap now that it’s uncovered.  Lifting his shirt, he takes the bottom of it and tucks it between his teeth, giving you a peep of his uncovered chest and the long thin gold chain hanging under his shirt.

Leaning a little bit closer, your eyes focus on his belly button, thinking you see something odd there when he takes both his hands and pushes his sweats down, revealing his gorgeous, thick cock standing at full attention, the head of which stops just below his navel.

Your mouth drops and your eyes grow wide, completely entranced by the view of your man stripping down for you.  You watch as he takes one of his hands and grabs his heavy member, beginning a slow stroke from the base to the tip, twisting his wrist over the head.  

You feel a slow wetness start to leak from your pussy, and you shift your legs in your seat, not wanting it to seep past your panties.  

Erik continues pumping himself, taking in a ragged breath and speaking to you again.

“You see what you got me doing, princess?” He groans as his hand reaches its peak again, picking up the pace as he continues pleasuring himself.  “I can’t wait till you get home so Daddy can teach you how to touch him. I just need your hands on me babygirl,” He sucks in a breath, moaning as his head falls back. “And that mouth. Fuckkk…”

You lick your lips and swallow as spit fills your mouth, desperately wishing you could climb through the screen and into his lap right now.

Your fingers feel the side of your phone, looking for the volume button to turn it up when you hear something behind you.

“DAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN!!!!!” Nichelle’s loud ass voice scares the shit out of you and you drop your phone, you earbuds snapping unplugged as it clatters to the ground, and the sounds of Erik moaning at top volume fill the outside patio.

You scramble to pick it up, grateful that other than you two and another single patron in the corner, nobody was really around to hear it.  Flipping your phone to silent, you exhale a deep breath before turning your burning gaze to your friend.

“What the hell!! You scared the fuck out of me! Why is your ass behind me anyway?!” you yell at her, your heart still beating out of your chest.

“You were ignoring me hoe! But more importantly, why didn’t you tell me his dick looked like that?” She points back at your phone screen at the paused video.

You press the home button, exiting out of the video player and dropping your phone in your bag. You growl as you start packing your stuff up, dumping your unfinished lunch into your lunch bag.

“I swear Niche, if you were anyone else I’d be cursing your ass out right now, you’re lucky its you.”  

She stops you and pulls you into a hug, one you grumbly accept as she apologizes.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, I promise, but your face looked so shocked I wanted to see what you were looking at.”

You couldn’t totally be upset about that, given that had it been any other time you’d have probably showed her whatever it was that had your eyes bugging out of your head. Too bad this time it ended up being a home video of Erik.

You shake her off, pushing her away.  “Yeah yeah whatever. I’m going home, I’mma see you later.”  You grab your stuff, leaning over to kiss Nichelle on the cheek before heading out.

“Where you going? You just gonna leave me here?” She calls after you.

“Did you not see the same video I did? I’m going HOME.” You yell back at her over your shoulder, laughing loudly.

“Try not to choke!” She calls after you, cheering you on as you rush yourself to the car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Baby Smut

[221bshrlocked]

Security Check (3)

Security Check Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 1637

Warnings: None yet. Some swearing. Awkwardness.

A/N: so, thank god I never asked him out you guys! Sorry to disappoint so many of yall, but he’s been avoiding me and super dismissive when we talk so I guess he’s not interested. Oh well, it was fun and games and gave me the idea for this lovely fic. NO TAGLISTS.

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Four times. You’ve spoken with him four times since that day in the cafe, refusing to realize how pathetic it was that you were counting how many interactions you’ve had with the man. You’ve definitely seen him more than that though but he never once approached you the other times. It wasn’t like you were busy doing something else or anything, and from the looks of it, he wasn’t busy either.

So you tried to extend the conversation during those four times. Your mind thought back to each on of them as you graded exams and you were thankful you were just doing the multiple choice ones now because you couldn’t think straight at the moment.

He approached you the first time, asking if you had a few minutes to go over the entrance and different exits so he knew where to place the other security. You walked around the museum with him and made eye contact every once in a while. He never once wrote down anything and you were close to asking him if he could remember any of what you said, but then you remembered what he used to do for a living before and knew this was probably nothing to him. When you finished, Bucky lightly tapped your elbow to thank you before walking away, leaving you as confused as a day-old puppy in the middle of the exhibit.

The second time you spoke, it was you that knocked on his office door. You thought he was probably out for lunch and were about to walk away when he opened the door and smiled at you, asking you if there was anything you needed. You told him about the two new staff members you just hired for the Assyrian department and introduced them to him to make sure he didn’t get on the defensive with them as he did with you. Bucky undid the button of his jacket and stretched out his hand to greet them when you’d noticed the gun holster he was wearing and you averted your eyes quickly before excusing yourself. You pretty much ran back to your office and attempted to calm yourself. But something about seeing the gun and how tight his shirt was made you flush all over again. You’d never admit it to anyone, not even to yourself, but imagining him taking the guns out of their position and placing them down in front of him made your stomach flip.

The third, and probably worst, of the interactions had you apologizing for hours even after you’d parted ways. You were busy looking at an email when you ran into him and spilled the strawberry drink all over his beige shirt. Bucky swore under his breath and you wanted to hear the expletive again, whispered in your ear, but shook the thought aside. You continued to apologize until he took his jacket and took the napkins from your hand, dabbing the wet spot and laughing when he realized this was not the solution. He’d looked up and saw you staring at the gun on one side and smiled, following your gaze when it moved to the knife on the other side. He’d asked if he should get you another drink since he made you spill this one and you cleared your throat louder than intended and told him to not worry about it before, once again, sprinting to your office.

The fourth time, which surprisingly made more of an impression on you than the last one, was probably what filled your daydreams. You were in the lounge struggling to grab one of the books from the highest shelf when you suddenly felt someone come up right against you and take the book with ease. Your breath hitched, turning and looking at the man and getting lost in his eyes for a moment. They were so fucking blue! You had no idea anyone’s eyes could be this blue. But there was something else about them, something that screamed danger and possessiveness, and wow you could stare at him forever. You hummed a quick question when you noticed he was speaking to you and he’d laughed. God the sound was so innocent you wanted him to do it again. But you snapped out of it, taking the book from his hand and thanking him before walking away.

This was not good. It was actually as far away from good as it could possibly get.

You turned your attention to the computer screen when you heard your email ring, swearing when you saw who it was from and knowing you’d need to deal with him as soon as possible. You read the email and silently cursed the man. He genuinely thought he was in charge of this exhibit and you wanted nothing more than to tell him to fuck off but you couldn’t. Why the fuck did he need to call for a meeting with everyone? Hovering over the list of recipients, you noticed Bucky wasn’t on it. Someone would need to tell him. Part of you was glad he wasn’t because that meant you could use this as an excuse to talk to him, but the other part of you kept on replaying the awkward encounters in your mind and knew you couldn’t trust to keep your shit together if you approached him.

Taking a giant sip from your coffee, you headed out to go tell him about the afternoon meeting. Walking through the hallways, you wished your heals didn’t announce your presence everywhere you went but brushed the thought aside. Calm down. You could do this.

You stood in front of his office and were about to knock when you saw it was slightly open. Looking through, you noticed he was standing in the middle of the room, his jacket off and his shirt sleeves rolled up.

And then you noticed his left arm and gasped.

Bucky turned around when he heard you at the door, his mind going blank in an instant because this was not how he wanted you to find out.

He walked to the door and pushed it open for you, smiling awkwardly before asking you to come in. You thanked him and silently entered the office, trying to find anything to say without making this any worse than it was.

“I wanted t-” Bucky began but you cut him off immediately.

“I am so sorry to intrude. I didn’t mean to- shit, I should’ve just knocked and waited, or just left when I saw you were busy. God this is so embarrassing, I’m not normally this disrespectful of people’s privacy and I just…”

“Y/N please, it’s nothing.” Bucky was surprised when you apologized. He thought he was going to be rejected like all the other times. But here you were, saying you’re sorry because you thought you were being rude, and not running away from him.

You shifted in your place before looking up at him.

“Does it hurt?” You didn’t know what came over you all of a sudden and you attempted to mask your own surprise. Bucky laughed at the honest question and lifted his arm forward. “From time to time. That’s why I was stretching, it helps the tendons and ligaments in my shoulder.” You stepped closed and looked at him, silently asking if you could touch it. Bucky shrugged and rolled up his sleeves past his elbows.

Your hands slid around the fingers to his wrist, turning his arm so you could take a better look at the inner side.

“It’s amazing.” You whispered, fingers ascending to his shoulders to see how far the metal went. Bucky didn’t look away once, watching every expression and reaction to his arm to make sure you weren’t about to run for the hills. When he felt the palm of your hand on his chest, he laughed and told you he was ticklish.

“S-sorry.” You looked up at him and gently placed his arm down before taking a step back.

“Is this why you always wear long sleeves and gloves?”

“Yeah. And it’s not because I’m ashamed or anything believe me. It’s just, people feel uncomfortable when they see the reality of the world we live in.”

“Fuck them!” His eyes widened when he heard your exclamation and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“If they can’t handle this, then they don’t deserve what you did for them.” You continued, pointing to his arm again before crossing your arms.

“You just keep surprising me doll.”

“Is that a bad thing?” You asked, hoping your little outburst wasn’t misunderstood.

“Not at all.” Bucky replied immediately before walking to his jacket. “So did you need anything?” He swung it around and fixed the collar before clasping the middle button.

“Umm, yeah. There’s a meeting today with everyone working on the project and I noticed you weren’t on the email chain so I came by to tell you. It’s at two in the faculty lounge upstairs.” You ringed your fingers nervously, looking everywhere else but him because of course you weren’t thinking of anything else but how smooth and cool his arm was.

“Oh okay, thanks for letting me know. You could’ve just emailed me you know.” Bucky said, fighting back the tempting smile when he saw you look at him like a doe caught in headlights. You stammered through a whispered reply before clearing your throat and walking out, telling him you’d see him later.

Bucky felt a little bad for making you stutter and he was close to calling you back and apologizing. But this was just the beginning, and he was nowhere done with playing with you. He relied on you being hard to get because it just meant it’ll be worth it in the end.

You’d be worth it in the end.

[stevie-rcgers]

The Roman Word for Love // II

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: where you had bruises, cuts, and scars your soulmate got flowers. everyone is born with one soulmate. bucky barnes lived long enough to have two.

Word Count: 1600+

Rating/Warnings: endgame spoilers again kinda. distress/angst again… sorry but it gets better

a/n: I couldn’t wait so here you go. buckle up yall loooooots of character and backstory establishment. it’s all character development tbh, but it’s important to where we’re heading. also if you’d like to be tagged in this as we go on, let me know

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It was a beautiful day.

The sun bathed them in its warm restorative glow as they ran. Your head tipped back as your body shook with laughter, shirt drenched from the water gun fight you had just tapped out of. They’d been spread out all over. Cousins here, uncles there. It was the first time they’d seen each other in years.

Grabbing a towel from the pile on the rented cabin’s steps, you trudged to the porch swing. Settling into the soft burnt-orange cushions, your eyes marveled at the beauty. The lake shone breathtakingly in the midday sun and the birds twittered away unseen in the tall trees that hid even the cabin itself.

A distant cry stole you away from your daydream, head whipping around left and right before you jumped to your feet and jogged toward the back of the cabin.

Your littlest cousin sat on the ground, tears streaming down his tiny face. your worried expression softened as you kneeled next to him, opening your arms to comfort him. He’d gotten a splinter on his thumb and was scared it would never come out. The thought made you chuckle as you went inside to grab some tweezers and a first aid kit.

How sweet and innocent were the young.

You distracted him as you retrieved the splinter. On the porch step in front of you, he sat quietly recounting why Spiderman was his favorite superhero, stumbling over his words the way four-year-olds tended to.

As you prepped his bandaid, you felt a tug on your shirt collar.

“What’s up, buddy? Does it hurt? Do you want a different bandaid?” you asked securing the small character bandage around his index finger.

He wordlessly tugged again, this time on the cuff. You looked up at him, brows raised in a soft inquiry to see him pointing to his toes.

They were blowing away as if consumed by some invisible fire, leaving nothing but ash.

Confusion flooded your eyes as you examined his form or rather lack thereof.

Watching helplessly, he floated away in the wind. There one second, gone the next.

Hot horror began to wash over your body, overpowered only by confusion. You moved quickly to the living room where the rest of them were preparing for dinner.

It took them a second to notice you, but when they did it was hard not to. A few of them stood up to approach, to calm. Your eyes darted around, brain struggling to comprehend the event that had just taken place. You began to lift your eyes to meet all of their concerned ones, only to find it happening all over again.

Screams and frantic exclamations filled the room as they all began to disintegrate, pushing you steadily into full panic. Slowly, then all at once, they were gone too.

Barely stopping to breathe you dashed desperately outside to the edge of the lake, where the last of them stood, but it was too late. All that was left was dust blowing away in the wind.

You sunk to your knees on the shore, defeated and alone.

The world was thrown into chaos.

Where did they all go? Why did they go? Why did they leave you here alone? The questions tortured you to no end, rattling inside your brain in the years that came and passed.

The remnants of it all were the only things that remained for a long time. Crashed cars lined the streets you passed on your way to the recreation center. You kept your eyes from looking at them. Vines overgrew houses. Plants grew unchecked. No one bothered to clean them up, scared to confront their new reality. To deal with it would be to accept it as fact.

“Where do we go now that they’re gone?”

You stood and eyed the poster wordlessly, arms pulled close to your body, forearms crossed over your chest.

“Doin’ okay?”

A warm hand rested itself on your shoulder, reminding you that you were in a safe space.

“Yeah, Steve.”

You relaxed your shoulders and placed a hand over his. In all honesty, no one really was, but they did their best.

You let a moment pass before turning to face him. He looked tired, he always did. The bags under his eyes were almost purple against his complexion.

“I see you’ve been getting your eight hours in,” you remarked sarcastically.

He offered no response save for a melancholic smile. He was grateful to have you to worry about him.

Both of you were quiet as you moved to the circle of chairs set in the center of the small auditorium. You had found solace in this place. It had an odd sense of community, family, made you feel less alone.

You spent almost all your days there, counseling, dedicating your time to helping the people who had helped you out of your own dark times. It gave life meaning in what was left. It gave hope in the darkness Thanos had gifted your world and you’d be damned if you ever let anyone fall into the same pit of despair as you did.

Steve admired you for that.

He recalled the first day you had stumbled into the small urban recreation center years ago. He remembered the day you finally felt safe enough to tell your story, watched you recount how you had lost everything, how you had lost your flowers; that in particular had spoken to his heart, having had lost his own as well somewhere along the way. He’d watched you grow, watched you heal and what could he say, he was attached.

Fridays were always your favorite. Steve watched you happily setting up tables as he arranged the excess folding chairs. Friday nights at the center they checked in with the kids who had lost their parents, guardians, those close to them. Steve observed as you laughed with the older kids then played with the younger ones. He laughed along as the high schoolers recalled the videos of him they’d been shown in gym class, recounting to him how they had struggled not to giggle themselves, then watched as they lined up to give you and him goodbye hugs.

If he was being honest, Fridays were his favorite too.

“Can I talk to you?” He asked as they cleaned up, the two of you alone in the space.

“Always.”

“I’m going to be gone for a little while.”

“Why?”

He laughed breathily in response, taken aback. Steve really should’ve expected this.

You watched as he struggled to pull his thoughts together, pacing shortly before sitting in the ring of chairs that was permanently set up in the middle of the room. Your back straightened as the energy in the room shifted. You had never seen him like this. Not for a long time at least.

“Steve, is everything okay?”

He gave you a reassuring smile before asking you to take a seat next to him. You did as he asked, sitting then scooting to the edge of your seat leaning toward him in concern. Steve took a breath and ran his hands over his face.

He wasn't sure what to say or how to begin. He looked to you for reassurance. He was aware that you knew who he was, what the world knew him as. It wasn't as if he had really tried to hide it, even so, you never knew him in that capacity. That didn't make this any easier.

What he had to say weighed heavily on his chest. He had thought about it in the days and hours leading up to this exact moment. It wasn't a subject to throw out so easily, but he knew he had to tell you. It was important to him that he told you.

He chose his words carefully, began slowly easing you into concepts he himself didn't fully understand. He stumbled over his words, uncharacteristically nervous.

You listened as he rambled wordily, steadily, throwing out names you had only heard on the news and others you hadn't. Infinity Stones. Antman. Quantum realm. Quantum mechanics. Time travel.

When he finished he waited for your response with bated breath, eyebrows knitted together as you processed the information, scanned your face for any indication of your thoughts.

Anxiety stirred in your stomach. They could get everyone back? Your eyes fell on the ground as you organized your thoughts, examining the gravity of his words. The proposition knocked the wind from you, stirring emotions you thought you had long dealt with, but you knew how much this meant to him. What it would mean to everyone.

It didn't matter how you felt about it. It didn’t matter that you didn’t understand how it worked.

After what felt like a lifetime, you pulled him into a soft hug, trembling lightly.

“Be careful, Rogers, I can’t afford to lose anyone else.”

The followings weeks came and past. You fumbled with your thoughts, as you walked home stopping only to pay respects to your city's memorial monument to the fallen.

Five years, the thought chilled your bones as your eyes took in the giant stone tablets. You caught yourself tracing you skin, absentmindedly, it seemed that old habits died hard. Pulling your long sleeves up to reveal empty space where light blue lines had once called you skin home, you sighed.

This was the part that always hit you hardest, made you feel the most terrible, the part that you could never get yourself to heal from. As far as you knew no one ever really did heal from losing a soulmate.

You shook the thoughts from your head and let it wander to Steve. The neverending worry weighing down on you as you approached your apartment, key in hand. Where was he? Was everyone okay? Was he okay? Willing them away, you pushed the dark green door open lazily.

It was the shoes that caught your attention first.

Spiderman light up sneakers.

Your eyes dragged themselves up from the ground. To your surprise, several familiar faces stared back at you, crowding your impossibly small domicile.

Steve really did it. They were back.

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TRWFL Taglist: @rootcrop @lovely-geek

[the-static-and-i]

Star-lit Date Night

//Hey yall, so depression has been kicking my ass and I dont know how to write whump without it being my/Sam's fault in some way, which is one of my big triggers, so I'm gonna pause on those for a hot sec and just write some fluff, because I need that so bad rn. I'm sorry about the prompts, I'll get to those as soon as I hate myself a little less, but for now just enjoy the kinda badly written gay cliche

TW: Gay panic, brief mention of not eating or sleeping much, mention of medicine, kinda suggestive talk.

Sam hadnt stopped telling everyone about this girl she had met since ten minutes after meeting her, which was three weeks ago now. If she wasnt texting her, she was infodumping everything about her to Kat or Sofia or occassionally Jackie and Nic when they were free and up for listening, and if she wasnt doing that, she was daydreaming about kissing her and moving in together, she had even planned their wedding.

Ren tried to keep her in check, so she didnt talk everyone's ears off about some girl they hadnt even met, but even she had to admit she was smitten with her too.

Of course, Ren didnt allow herself to talk to this girl, aware that there would be questions that she couldnt answer with a clear conscious. But she could at least admit she was gorgeous, and Sam's dramatic exaggerations of her beauty werent that far off, or were at least deserved.

They had finally gotten into a point in their friendship where Sam felt comfortable enough to blurt out that she liked her as more than a friend, and as they waited in an increasingly awkward silence, she and Ren decided that no matter what happened, they were glad to have met her.

Dani had responded positively, though! She liked Sam back, and wanted to get to know her more, so she invited Sam on a date on Friday night.

So she acquired permission for Sofia's car, and then waited in an anxious ball for the next two days to pass by. She barely slept and barely ate, only remembering to take her meds because of her alarms and Kat's gentle reminders.

Finally, Friday morning rolled around.

Ren took them to the bathroom, showering and shaving and curling their hair and washing their face with 13 different products, finally finishing with some "light" makeup.

Sam hated it, wanting to scratch at her nose and cheeks and forehead, but knew it would just mess up Ren's hard work. Admittedly, she looked pretty, and Ren's skill was impressive.

They left the bathroom in a towel, giving an awkward smile to Kat as she headed out of the cabin.

Arriving in their room, Sam realized she had to actually get dressed, but didnt know what the fuck to wear. She didnt wanna get out of the towel dress, didnt wanna wear pants or shorts or, gods forbid, a skirt.

So, the only option was a dress.

She had a few, and she liked most of them, but a couple were Ren's, and those were on the downward side of her "like" spectrum.

This is when Ren started stirring again, coaxing Sam to at least try on a few of hers, just to see how they looked with her hair and face all dolled up.

Sam decided to humor her, trying on three before finding one of Ren's she did actually like; a black long sleeve dress with a short skater skirt, and weird ass hole patterns along the whole thing. Weird patterns aside, it was a gorgeous dress, and hugged her body in some pretty flattering ways.

She kept it on, hanging up the other dresses and doing a quick spin in front if the mirror.

Oh yeah, this was a good dress; the skirt flared up and twirled around her, probably showing off her ass a little, but she would put on those dress short things that hide your underwear and call it good.

Despite how happy she was with the dress, there was a new one she got that she honestly loved, and had been waiting for an excuse to wear for a few weeks now.

So she slipped off the black dress carefully, pulling on the dark blue one instead, the pink and peach flowers catching her eye in the mirror immediately. She slipped her hands in the pockets and spun, flaring the dress manually. Even if she had to put work in, the action still made her smile, and she decided this one looked pretty too.

Ren sighed quietly, saying that they were both pretty but the black one was a little nicer, yeah?

Sam groaned, honestly unsure which she preferred. A quick glance at the clock told her that she didn't have a whole lot of time to debate, so she bit her lip and decided to get third party opinion.

Remembering Kat had just left though, her heart started beating faster in a small panic. She grabbed her phone and pulled open her messages, seeing the last person she talked to was Nic!

He would know how to do the date thing, right? I mean, he got the only person as cool as him, so he had to at least be able to advise her for clothes right? Fuck, she hoped so.

She snapped a quick picture of the blue dress while it was still on, quickly pulling it off and putting the black one back on.

Taking a picture of that too, she gathered both and sent them to him, captioning it "Fashion emergency, Ren and I cant decide what to wear for our, my? Date tonight!! Mind helping a little?"

She sent off the message, twirling for a second in the dress again, habitually reaching for pockets that werent there and frowning a little. She didnt dwell on lost pockets though, going back to her closet and pulling out different shoes.

If he picked the black one, would she wear heels or boots? Flats maybe? Not boots, for sure, but I have 4 pairs of black flats and 3 different heels.

Okay, fuck that, what about if he picks blue? I have 2 pairs of blue flats, plus a pair of blue heels, and any of the black shoes would be cute probably.

Sam groaned, quickly realizing she had far too many shoes, and she was completely hopeless with fashion stuff.

Luckily, she wasnt alone with her indecisiveness; Nic responding with a comment about how pretty she looked and how happy he was for her, finishing off by saying that her hair accented the blue one in a really pretty way.

Sam squealed and set her phone down, sliding the dress on and examining herself, brushing some setting power off of the chest and brushing down the skirt a little, finishing by fluffing her hair a tiny bit.

Yeah, she looked good.

She grabbed a pair of comfy blue shoes and a pair of cute heels that she could totally walk in if Ren was fronting, snapping pics of them on her bed and sending both to Nic, saying "You're a fucking lifesaver and I preesh you. Would you mind if I asked for one more?"

His response was quicker, "Go for more comfortable in case you're out for a while. Dont wanna cut tonight short cause your feet hurt!"

Sam laughed a little, enjoying the implications that Dani would actually enjoy her presence enough to want to hang out past dinner.

Still, she slipped on some small socks and the flats, floofing the hem of the skirt in front of the mirror again. Dad made the right call, and she was fucking rocking the look.

She took a better quality picture, showing off the whole look to Nic, writing a quick, "You're a fucking god and thank you so much!! Love you, dad :D"

She didnt wait for a reply, putting her phone into a sorta-matching bag and making sure she had her wallet and keys in it. Finally, she was ready, and ahead of schedule!

She left the cabin quick, making it to the car and driving off without incident.

30 minutes later, she was in the restaurant checking to see if Dani had already been seated. The host led her back to Dani's table, the latter standing up and pulling Sam into a hug before pulling away.

"You look stunning, Jesus Christ.." Sam blushed, stuttering out a small thank you and reciprocating the compliment.

Dani was fucking gorgeous, wearing fancy pants and a nice top, with a complementing jacket draped over the back of her chair.

They parted completely, Dani stepping back and pulling Sam's chair out, coming around to sit again after she pushed Sam in too.

They ordered drinks, neither of them getting anything alcoholic, and then food quickly, only quiet small talk shared as they decided.

Once the menus were taken though, Dani started firing off random questions that Sam struggled to answer, the questions getting more ridiculous as they went; "What would you name a pet dolphin?", "If you could name your super-sidekick, what would you pick?", "Who came to mind when I said super-sidekick?"

Eventually they were both giggling and laughing, Dani not holding back with her head tilted back and a big grin on her face, and Sam keeping herself quiet by biting her lip, also suppressing her own grin.

Their food came, and they made more small talk while they ate, learning small things about each other that Sam loved knowing; Dani loved shellfish but hated other seafood, and her first dog was named Popcorn, and her first girlfriend was in the 7th grade, and they kissed on their first anniversary.

Dani didnt push when Sam frowned at the mention of first girlfriends, avoiding the subject by instead asking her favorite sport, and if she had ever been skiing, and what her favorite halloween costume was.

By the time they finally finished dinner, including a relatively small dessert that they shared, it was 11 pm, and they didnt want to go their separate ways just yet.

So they split the bill and took their leave, heading a block over to the nearest park. Sam started shivering as they walked, but she pursed her lips and ignored it, bracing herself against the breeze that was colder than she was expecting.

Dani stopped in front of the intersection, not even hitting the crosswalk button before taking her jacket off and draping it over Sam's shoulders.

Only then did Sam realize Dani was so fucking tall. Like, she was 5'4, Dani was at least a whole head taller, with slightly broader shoulders and such big fucking arms.

Distracting herself quickly, she slipped her arms into the warm jacket while Dani hit the button.

The jacket was so fucking big on her, naturally. The sleeves went past her hands, the bottom edge coming down past her butt, and the shoulders were already sliding down her, well, shoulders.

Dani wrapped her arm around Sam, keeping the jacket upright and also keeping their warmth closer to their bodies.

They crossed into the park, still entwined and cuddling, both content to walk around in the quiet night for a while.

Sam glanced up at the sky, doing a double take as she saw the big moon and bright stars.

Slowly, she started asking Dani about how much she knew about space, sharing little facts and tidbits that she knew, until Dani asked her to share more. She took the jacket off after a moment of hesitation, laying it on the grass and sitting down on it, patting the space next to her so Dani could sit.

She complied, even following when Sam laid back fully, listening quietly but enthralled as Sam pointed out constellations and planets and even a couple satellites that they noticed passing by.

Dani entwined their hands, looking over at Sam with a small smile. She didnt notice the gaze, still caught up in telling the story behind one of the many constellations she had loved learning about. Dani couldnt help but smile with her as her shy smile grew into a big grin that she didnt even hide the longer she talked.

Sam finally tired herself out, looking over at Dani with her smile returned to its shy, apologetic size. She leaned forward before Sam could speak, kissing her shoulder gently.

"You're really smart, and you clearly know your stuff about this. I love hearing you talk about the stars and space and everything involved with that, Sam. And thank you for sharing," Sam was shocked, her mouth opening a little, like she wanted to protest but though better of it. Dani gave her a small but genuine smile, squeezing her hand gently.

Sam squeezed back, whispering a quiet "Thank you," before nuzzling her forehead onto Dani's shoulder, hiding her face and her slightly-visible smile.

When she pulled away, she caught Dani's eye, both of them refusing to look away. Her hair was a forest green but looked so much lighter under the moon, and San wanted to run her fingers through it.

Dani was a step ahead of her, turning onto her side and releasing Sam's hand so she could pull her into a hug. Her forehead was pressed against Dani's collarbone, but she was so comfortable and felt so safe already.

After everything, she could use a little safe.

So she hugged Dani back, looping their legs together and holding her close, and they stayed like that until the sprinklers turned on.

They both grabbed their shit and ran out of the park, dripping wet and laughing, Sam doubled over by the time they reached the outer sidewalk.

Dani gasped for breath, glancing over at Sam before another laughing fit erupted from her. In the midst of her own fit, Sam barely registered that she wanted to hear Dani laugh like this more often.

The puddles beneath them grew as they slowly calmed down, Dani still letting out quiet giggles every so often, while Sam was just smiling big and proud.

"Your hair still looks beautiful, this is unfair, you're like a goddess or something!" Sam froze, looking over at Dani as she spoke. Her hair was falling into her face, whatever she had used to make it stand up clearly not being waterproof.

"Y-your hair is absolutely gorgeous, and you're rocking the whole.. messy hair vibe. Like, shit, you're so fucking pretty, I could actually ki-" Sam cut off, her eyes widening a little.

Its not that she didnt wanna kiss Dani, but she didnt want her to feel obligated to, I mean it was their first date, and they were both probably cold, and she was getting closer, why was she getting closer?

Dani rested her hands on Sam's shoulder and cheek, giving her a second to pull away before pressing their lips together.

Sam's hands flailed at her sides, before Ren placed them on Dani's hips and kissed her back. Sam came back in control, her eyes sliding shut in near bliss. Dani’s lips were soft and warm, and her hands were playing with Sam’s hair. 

They parted slowly, Dani meeting Sam’s eyes with a small smile. 

“You kiss good,” Were Sam’s first words, barely a whisper as her eyes flicked between Dani’s and her lips. Dani laughed a little, leaning over and kissing Sam’s cheek quickly. 

“You kiss good too. And thanks, Sam,” She was still smiling, and it had Sam smiling back. They stood there for a moment in silence, until Dani spoke up again, “Youre still shivering, do you want to call it a night?”

No, she really didnt, but she was really cold, and she had to take her meds before bed, lest she wake up like an asshole or have nightmares or both. 

She sighed, not knowing how to explain any of that without sounding fucking psychotic, so she simply nodded a little. “’m sorry”

“Hey, no need to apologize, i get it, its 2 am and we both have class tomorrow, its all good. You had fun tonight though?” Dani hooked her arm through Sam’s, guiding them back towards the restaurant and where they had parked. 

Sam blinked in surprise at the time, but didnt comment on it, instead answering, “This has been the best night ive had in.. ever? Its been so much fun just talking with you, and hanging out, and just.. being with you. Youre so sweet and funny and patient, and i.. really hope we can do this again sometime soon?”

Dani smiled, swinging their hands between them as she nodded rapidly. “Id be so down for that, and we can go out earlier than today? Just so we arent out all night?”

Sam nodded, looking up at Dani nervously, “Fuck yeah, or we could like.. i dunno, set up something so we spend the night together..?” 

“Sam Kyle, are you implying-”

“No!! No, not like that!!!!” Dani started laughing again as Sam covered her face with her free hand.

When Dani calmed down again, they had reached the parking lot and stopped walking. “I wouldnt mind having a sleepover though, with or without that.” She said with a fond smile. 

“That.. yeah, fuck yeah, how bout we plan something in the morning?” Dani agreed, and they shared another small kiss before going their separate ways. 

Sam walked quietly into the cabin, sure Kat would be asleep by now. She shot a quick text to Dani telling her that she arrived safely, getting one a few minutes later saying the same. They said their thank you’s and good night’s, before Sam noticed she still had Dani’s jacket on. 

She snorted as she saw herself in the mirror, flapping the sleeves briefly before deciding she did still look cute in it; the color even matched the flowers on her dress! 

She took one last picture, and went to send it to Nic, finally seeing that he had wished her good luck before she even left for the date, and had sent another message asking about how it went. With a small smile, she hit send on the photo, the caption a long ramble about how much fun they had and that they were planning another one soon. 

He responded with a small joke about the comfortable shoes, before saying how happy he was that she was moving on and finding some happy of her own. 

They talked for another few minutes while Sam took her meds, got changed into pjs and washed off the makeup, saying good night’s of their own before she laid down to finally sleep, after three very long, anxious days. 

She cuddled close to Peter, her amethyst necklace around his bear neck, bidding goodnight to the stars around her room and both her dads, finally having a completely dreamless night’s sleep. 

[moonchildhcs]

parkjin hcs!

high school au! uwu

okay all of yall are different ages with woojin, chan, minho, and changbin in their last year, the 00 line in their middle year, and jeongin in his first year (with u and persi)

yall are taking,,, drum roll please,,,

art 1 !

listen. these mad lads went straight for their music and dance which  is FINE but mandatory one year of art so yall are in a class together! strange,,, but that is the class all eleven of yall share and its,, fairly chaotic

well, mostly because of the crackheads (you, felix, minho, and jisung) who congregated in the back corner and get kicked out three times a week for their antics but like. the rest of yall are chillin and are good diligent students !

well,

for the most part

see the thing is,,

you get your stuff done all the time !! in fact youre probably among the first to turn their stuff in !! like WOWZA ur fast

but, that, is, because, u, want, maximum, time, to, daydream, about,,,,

HYUNJIN

you never really interact with him because hes an uppcerclassman and hes got his friend group and stuff and ur best buds with the Crackheads ! but like. hes so CUTE and SOFT and TALENTED like truly... an ideal boyfie

and your friends make fun of you ALL THE TIME ! like.. you finished your work and youre goofing off with the mad lads in the corner and then jisung will nudge you and go “oOoOoO he glanced in our direction i wonder what that could mean”

and ur like. we are. so loud. the loudest ppl in the class. hes probably a lil annoyed but on the inside ur like “WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO” like ur having an internal meltdown bc dance god visual god just looked in your direction

but then the teacher comes by and ur head goes down a wee bit and you add some finishing touches to ur project as the teacher bags on the rest of the Crackhead Squad for goofing off in class and theyre asked to step outside and take a breather and once they think they can behave they can return to class

which MEANS they aint comin back

so you take this opportunity of Tranquility to do your fave activity ...

daydream abt ur crush and stare at the back of his head wistfully ! and its real cute and wholesome and stuff and like

when he turns to ask woojin about something for the project you see the lil mole under his eye and the sunlight catches his soft hair just right and ur just losing it because hes SO SOFT like bitch what the absolute fuck !! why did god pop off so hard making him

and then... It Happens

youre gazing at him, lost in space as you daydream about holding his hand and going on ice cream dates, he turns around to ask woojin something again and as he does so Yall Make Eye Contact and you FREAK

not externally but internally youre literally on fire and you dont know what to do

so out of instinct you do a quick peace sign and he gives you a little smile and then goes to do what he intended to do (ask woojin how the hell ur supposed to paint this)

and youre LOSING IT like not only did he acknowledge you but HE SMILED AT YOU!! HOLY SHIT !! BITCH WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

youre lowkey hyperventilating but its fine because class ends and its your last period so you pack up your bags and head out to walk home with lix, jisung, and minho!! and theyre like wiggling their eyebrows at you and you KNOW theyll tease you but. you need to share this interaction.

and lemme tell you THEY LOSE IT TOO!!! bc hyunjin is a Shy Lad there is no way he caught you looking at him and let it pass !! he had to like you theres no way he didnt NOT like you yknow??? it is Out Of His Character he usually ignores that stuff

and ur like haha no guys its not that deep !! but internally ur freaking out Because Oh MY God What If It Is That Deep so you decide,, to hatch a plan to confess

and the thing is,,, IT IS THAT DEEP

hyunjin is lowkey losing it because. he usually Minds His Own Business and he knows hes popular among people for being cute but ur just. so funny and cute and wholesome and oh wow is his heart beating a lil fast?

YES IT IS !! and hes like u know what?? heck it ILL CONFESS and hope she likes me and this wasnt a coincidence hhhh

so. yall are hatching your plans to confess

hyunjin goes to persi, resident Secret Holder for the laid ease, and reveals that you like nice bright flowers !! like roses, sunflowers, orchids!!! and that you really like pretzels and chocolate almonds uwu

and you go to seungmin and jeongin, who reveal that hyunjin loves forget-me-nots! and he has an affinity for strawb milk and the golden oreos!!!

the thing is,, yall are kinda cliche. like,,, shoujo manga kinda cliche. so if it isnt obvious already yall are hatching THE SAME CONFESSION  PLAN HHHHH YALL ARE SO C U T E

so yall draft letters upon letters, spilling your hearts out in its contents ! 

hyunjins letter is pure white, smelling a bit like his cologne ! it has no marks on it or anything

your letter is light pink and smells like your perfume! its closed with a red heart sticker uwu

yall slip a little note onto each others desk asking to meet each other on the rooftop and ur both like FUCK I HOPE THEY COME EARLY SO I CAN REJECT THEM BEFORE THE PERSON I ACTUALLY LIKE COMES

because,, since yall dont interact much yall dont recognize the others handwriting sgfgfdghf literally dumb bitch hours

anyways yall both SPRINT to that rooftop after school but you were nervous so you got a pep talk from ur friends, the lads, before going up

so once again, yall dont realize. that you have. the same plan.

so hyunjin is waiting there all nervous HOPING youll come first and not whoever else planned on confessing

and youre sprinting up the stairs, hoping whoever planned on confessing wasnt there yet but hyunjin is so that you can confess

and as you burst through the door, pink letter in hand, your eyes zoom to the letter in hyunjins hands and ur like. Oh. Oh Dear.

and hyunjin looks at you, then the letter in ur hands like. Oh. Oh Dear. 

so you two shyly exchange letters, faces burning red as you read through the confession 

and the thing is at one point in your letter you mention how it would be a dream to even hold is hand so he just. this absolute cheeseball. he hold your hand and goes “i guess dreams come true!” and you LOSE IT because oh my god hes such a NERD !!!! but now hes your nerd :^)

so yall go to the park afterwards and split your snacks between the two of you, monching and talking until the stars are twinkling and you guys realize FUCK THERES HOMEWORK

so you go home to do your hw! and yall put the flowers in a cute vase, right next to your beds :^) as a reminder ! (though hyunjin presses some of them with the help of his mom so he can preserve them forever oopsies_

and when yall walk onto school the next day hand in hand, hyunjins friends are like “NICE” but also super shocked bc HYUNJIN?? DATING???

but then your friends. your mad lads. absolutely fucking LOSE IT they are hooting and hollering and you are like Oh My God I Am So Sorry and hyunjin just. does a lil smirk and kisses ur cheek and u are sent into SHOCK and your friends are in cardiac arrest because holy fucking SHIT

and you two are literally the school’s it couple like initially some people were hostile because they wanted to date hyunjin !! but after a while they accepted it and grew to love the both of yall together, from your wholesome interactions to slight crackheadedness

its just so CUTE he always brings you like a rose or smth every day and ur like “this must be expensive” and hes like ! “for you, nothing is expensive” and ur like “ur so cheesy” and hes like “only for you bb :^)”

also now your side of the class has merged with hyunjin and his friends now joining yall crackheads and its cute uwu