#doing things is so hard why
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I did something today that’s been on my to do list for oh idk 2 years ;_;
#that post office was kind of nice#leaving the house takes a lot of effort#phew#doing things is so hard why
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how its going
#WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO JUST DO THE THINGS I NEED TO DO#oc#furry fandom#oc: nitri#art#digital art#doodle#ms paint
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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"...You've been a good friend, in the short time that I've known you. But now I must go. The Dragon waits."
#oblivion#the elder scolls oblivion#tes oblivion#the elder scrolls#martin septim#hero of kvatch#hiro's art#IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE#omfg why did i do this to myself why did i do this to us#this might just be the most emotion and effort ive put into art#the things this fucking game does to me man#locked tf in so hard i surprised even myself
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A Leap of Faith
EDIT: I added the upside-down version under the cut :P
#adding a tag to let yall know this is me#tumblr probably wrecked the quality but whatevs lol#hiccup haddock#httyd#inspired by spiderverse lol#I was gonna do it upside down but nah#how to train your dragon#toothless httyd#still working on how to draw toothless lol#he is so hard why#httyd 2#toothless and hiccup#hiccup how to train your dragon#dont look too close shhh#man I love doing landscape things like this#scroll real fast and itll look like they are falling XD#eatmilksart#fun fact: I was originally going to draw this in full daylight like the scene in the movie#but then I decided to go with sunrise because I could make it look like fire#and it would be like Hiccup falling into the fire during the fight with the Red Death#but this time willingly because he KNOWS Toothless got him#he doesnt even look back at his dragon because he knows hes there#so its kinda like miles trusting his powers in spiderverse#Toothless will always catch him.#A leap of faith :P
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And one amang, an Iyrysch man,
Uppone his hoby swyftly ran…

WAIT HANG ON - slamming the brakes on drawing this stupid picture - do you nerds even KNOW the etymology of the word “hobby”? The thing you do for pleasure? The thing you have too many of? The thing you spend too much money on and share with your friends? The thing tumblr probably is to you? Those hobbies?
It comes from a now-kind-of-extinct breed of Irish pony-horse. It was called the Irish Hobby. Supposedly the hobby got its name from the Gaelic word obann, or swift. They definitely were. They’d obann your pants clean off.
Fast tough little bastards, built for rough terrain and renowned for their speed and stamina, hobby horses belonged to the Celts, and their highly annoying style of mounted warfare. but their conquerors liked hobby horses a lot, kept them, used them for themselves, and found them useful enough, despite the fact that they also had famously useful things like mounted knights or horse archers. A lightweight Irish warrior, mounted on a hobby horse, was called a hobelar.
Reportedly and in depictions, hobelars rode without stirrups. Or saddles. Or bridles. Or - well - this is all sounding very improbable, because the hobelars COULDNT have just been charging around basically bare-assed on naked ponies, screaming, and somehow in the process undoing the composure of actual mounted armoured knights. Knights who, I remind you, had stirrups. Stirrups are useful! It’s quite likely the hobelars had some gear. And clothes. and weapons. And the ponies probably had some tack - I am picturing a bellyband that you could at least hang a saddlebag on, and a neck rope for catching the bloody thing, even if not a saddle. But the overall impression, somehow created by people on darling little ponies, was apparently quite striking and fearful.
I mean. God Forbid People Have Hobbies.
Anyway after a while, whatever people became the British had eventually conquered all of the rough terrain that hobbies were best at, and horse archers just got sexier, and mounted knights became aristos, and all the bog and forest people had been subdued, so it was time to sunset the hobelars. but WAIT! Hobby horses are still tremendously fun and appealing! They’re so fast! and you can ride them without a saddle! Sure, they’re not up to the weight of a mounted knight, or indeed a lot of guys… but surely we can still find a use for a hobby or two? In the back garden? Somewhere?
At which point an English king decided to keep hobby horses just for fun. No military application. No further development of the technology. Not for fun. Just as expensive, pleasurable, pets. Just for the joy of the thing.
And that is how hobby (activity done purely for pleasure) comes from hobby horse (small horse) possibly from obann (swift.) they’re very interesting and you should look all this up for yourself! because it sure sounds like Elodie doing a bit, doesn’t it?
Today, Irish Hobbies are functionally nonexistent. References for drawing include the Kerry Bog Pony, the Connemara, and (I personally think) Dartmoors and Exmoors. They’re said to have lent their speed to the Irish Hunter/Sport Horse and from there to the Thoroughbred, but every damn horse in the world claims relation to the Thoroughbred, and they can’t be THAT thoroughly bred.
At any rate - you can never have enough hobbies. Just be glad that yours aren’t expensive beasts with minds of their own, eating their heads off in the pasture! …Unless they are. In which case, you’re part of a proud tradition.
#Killie#this is Killie’s ancestor who occasionally turns up in hallucinations with various ghost horses#like all elements of magical realism in the killieverse he does absolutely NOTHING useful.#your ancestor is neither proud of you nor disappointed in you. he’s riding alongside explaining some thoughts he had at breakfast#performing weird fuckin feats of equitation outside the window while you’re trying to sit through school or waiting in the queue at Greggs#if you wake up in a hospital bed in a bleary moment before consciousness he’s perched next to you chattering complete fucking nonsense#about. like. the stupidest stuff. like he’s just free-associating his thoughts based on a pattern in the ceiling tiles. incredibly annoying#his dialect just close enough to Irish that you can pick out a few words here and there#enough to tell that it’s complete nonsense. but also he’ll just say things like BASED. (possibly he is also visiting miles?)#and occasionally he points out that he did everything you do in your job but barefoot. no stirrups. in the snow. uphill both ways.#which is quite hard to do in a bog since they’re notably quite distinctively flat usually so sometimes he’d have to find a hill and ride up#and down it a few times just to build character. no saddle no bridle no shoes and the Romans were there maybe - and when you object to that#thinking there seems to be a lot of collision of timelines and historical accuracy - he doesn’t speak Irish suddenly . and why would he.#anyway he doesn’t exist and never did. but he’s fun#occasionally turns up to ride alongside you in a race apparently just to prove he can keep up with modern breeds#usually he can surprisingly well but tbf his horse is a ghost. and when he can’t he says well. I’m not a professional like you.#this. is just my hobby. ahahahahahahahahahshahahahahasha#and with that I get back on my hobby horse and ride away
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i just be drawing things anyways i need to see gid tinker with stuff more let my boy have hobbies, let him fix up a watch here and there or something
additional doodle of a pestering husband
#once upon a witchlight#my art#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#coalecroux#ouaw#legends of avantris#himbo gideon is cool and all but think about mechanic gid fixing up little things he finds to wind down and relax think about it#i am so normal about him#he is also incredibly hard for me to draw i do not know why#definitely need to practice more
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John is salty as fuck.
How the fuck Red Robin got a Favor Ticket from the infinite realm?!?
He has been spending a 4 year and 8 months trying to figure the right ritual to summon that bastard right. All he gets is a dog sized looking green blob ball thing looking thing that take one look at him, say oooo and disappears on him, and yet the coffee obsessed robin figured it out in one shot to save batman?!?
Fuck this! He ignoring batman asking questions about the infinite realm, he need hardcover 99% alcohol liquor right the fuck now.
He sticks his middle finger as he leaves through the portal, closing it on his way out as he plop onto his bed in the house of mysteries, groaning out his frustration.
If John was paying attention, he wouldn't notice several dozen blob ghosts laying on his back, silently oooing on his slowly developing core.
Meanwhile
In crime city, Jason had given trying to removed this greenish lazarus pit cat sized goop off him for the last 6 hours. None of the robin seem to see it beside Cass, but the rage seem to be sipping away.
Part 2 here <-
#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny phantom#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dcxdp#dc x dp prompt#danny is the ghost king#Danny's dimension is much larger then dc#john been trying very hard to summon The Ghost King for a little itsy bitsy favor#only he doesn't know due to his neglected and shred cheese soul that Danny’s look at the summon contract#and just put a healing blob ghost to filter that mess and he know this mess need a lot more blob ghost to fix even a 1/50 of that#danny see John's soul like the mother of All messes rip apart realities#souls aren't meant to be shredded up in tiny pieces like that and Danny felt like he'd seen things he isn't meant to see in a soul#this dude going to become dust as this point when he died but he the reason why im getting so many paperwork#danny use blob ghost to heal john to make him develop a core for when he dies#he doing his own paperwork >:]#jason accidentally got a blob ghost snatched onto him#elderitch danny phantom#dead tired#john constantine
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Not beating the allegations.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jiang cheng#su she#lan qiren#(I oscillated between writing a funny or a serious final comic for season 2 so hard I did both. Enjoy the funny bonus!)#Woah hey! Two characters we have not seen in a long time!#Su She hasn't been seen in 100 comics! Unfortunately LWJ has a taste for his blood. He has only moments left to live.#I honestly thought LQR died (adaption memory blur) and I did *not* expect him to show up here.#That said it does act as a way more personal blow to LWJ's reputation for LQR to be there.#By staying on WWX's side he's not only throwing his reputation to the wind but also facing familial judgment.#It hits so much harder when the choice isn't an easy one to make.#Choosing to stand at someone's side when they *have* actually messed up - when they do have faults and flaws - that's love.#Love is hard work! Love is not low maintenance and good days every day.#Love is being able to say 'I am choosing to bear your weight when things are heavy.' Love is doing that reciprocally.#Which is 100% a real life lesson I am passing on#And also a plea for why it is so important we give credit to WWX's atrocities.#He *did* do some of that shit. He isn't fully innocent and it gives LWJ's choice so much more weight.
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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concept art
#concept art motivation#idk why its so hard#original#cardiegon#comic#i rather just work on the thing itself than do concept art 4 some reason lol
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#sad thoughts#sadgirl#im going insane#girlblogging#im just a girl#please love me#this is what makes us girls#girl blogger#girl rage#girlhood#hell is a teenage girl#girl blog aesthetic#girlblog aesthetic#i am just a girl#just girly posts#just girly things#i hate this#i am so tired#i am cringe but i am free#i am unwell#why am i like this#why do i do this to myself#lana del ray aesthetic#this is a girlblog#natalie portman#black swan#nina sayers#hard to love
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Seven-headed beast.
#thinking about mob being so scared of his powers that he started seeing himself as a monster#who could suddenly start harming people and no one would be able to do anything about it#him after the spirit family incident wondering if someone could stop him if he did it one day#him on the confession arc saying that his friends should “pretend this is not him anymore” to make it easier to do what they need#god that 14yo boy makes me really sad when I think too hard about him#that's still a child why did he think such bad things about himself : ((#mp100#mob psycho 100#mp100 fanart#shigeo kageyama#???%#lalarts
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orym and dorian in c3 x 120: "the red end"
#critical role#criticalroleedit#critteredit#dorian storm#orym of the air ashari#dorym#dorian x orym#dorian storm x orym#bells hells#cr3#campaign three#critical role campaign three#my gifs#DO NOT ASK ME THE WARS I WENT THROUGH...THE SACRIFICES I MADE...TO MAKE SURE THIS DAMN THING UPLOADED TO TUMBLR...#sighs tumblr why are you broken. why do you hate warmth.#this gifset was originally like....half the length it ended up being I found I needed to capture all the phases of robbie's terror.#one because same whenever orym is in danger. and two because. it just felt right. like dorian is feeling that agony through him too.#ANYWAYS. this was so crazy. this was so so so serious to me#angst scene so insane I have three different gifsets made based on it THE BOYS WERE GOING THROUGH IT#matt did not have to go that hard with the descriptions I was already dying#two self-sacrificial bad bitches with compartmentalization issues fall in love with each other.#the end result is them crying screaming throwing up when the other is in danger#all while they forgot to protect themselves. because all they want is to make sure the ones they love stay safe#(DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW YOU REFUSED TO HEAL YOURSELF BLUE BOY. DORIAN BRONTE SECONDSUN WYVERWIND STORM I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD)
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going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down
#behold: a block of text i do not feel like putting paragraph breaks in#i am so fucking crushed that they try so hard to take care of each other in different ways but never see each other ever again#he gave her a lift you off the floor hug in the bubble and she didnt even know why.#the thing that made him miss harrow was ‘look at me like you’ve worked out how to kill me’ bc he knows scowling is her display of affection#she couldn’t even REMEMBER him in htn but she helped camilla find his soul and put him back together anyway#is this anything. am i sounding as insane as i feel#tlt#harrowhark nonagesimus#palamedes sextus#katie don’t look#ntn spoilers#htn spoilers#gtn spoilers
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