#don’t be a fare dodger

[rwyvernarts]

Your ticket’s invalid.

Old piece!! Ingo gets to be a little scary. As a treat <3

[thedeviltohisangel]

FOR A FORTNIGHT THERE WE WERE

A little something about Evelyn and Callum at the screening in LA last weekend xoxo

“Do you want to go to the Dodgers game tomorrow night?” Ev had been daydreaming out the window of the Escalade currently taking them to a screening and reception of Masters of the Air.

“Sure that’d be fun.” He held her hand in between them and brought it to his lips.

“You feeling ok? You’ve been quiet the whole ride.”

“Just preemptively tired. I have to fly to New York Monday morning for the premiere.” More and more recently she had just wanted to cocoon herself in blankets at their home, wherever that may be, and never leave. She hoped it wasn’t another bout of depression rearing its ugly head. “I’ve just been feeling a little different lately. Like I’m back in the same headspace I was before we started filming. I don’t know. I can’t explain it.” While he hadn’t known her well before Masters of the Air, he had only met her a few times at parties, he had known she was not herself that first day of their chemistry read.

“You’ve been super fucking busy between press for dragon and press for this and the fact that you insist you can try to be in New York and Scotland in the same day-“ that got a smile across her face “-maybe your body is just telling you it needs to rest a little bit.”

“You forgot that I’m the best girlfriend ever and have been flying to Vancouver every chance to see you,” she teased. “Please add that to your list.” Callum laughed and threw his arm around her should to pull her in close.

“I love you. Wouldn’t want you any other way but want you to take care of yourself. If you need a break, you need a break.” But breaks meant silence and Evelyn had never really been good in the silence.

“Having you back in LA this weekend is kind of like a break.” They’d spent the day lounging in bed before walking Golo to a farmers market, buying flowers and bagels and plants for the herb garden Evelyn had started tending to in their back yard. No one had stopped them for selfies and if people were taking photos, she hadn’t bothered to notice. It had felt good and normal to hold his hand and live her life if only for a few hours.

“You made me pinky promise to still spend every weekend with you while filming!” She giggled as the car pulled up to the curb to drop them off, her publicist, assistant and representatives from the Apple PR department waiting to greet them.

“I did and so far that’s meant me going to Canada and not the other way around. So technically I only encumbered myself with that one.” The longer they were together, the more horrible being apart felt. They were both committed to not letting distance get the best of them during the busiest year of their life. Every weekend one of them was on a plane to go be with the other. They were two halves of the same whole and wouldn’t survive if kept apart. “Hi Tracy,” she greeted as Callum held her hand to help her out of the car.

“Hi you two.” Evelyn wrapped her in a hug and then gripped his hand tightly as he led them in the direction of the party. She made sure to wave to fans that had collected on the sidewalk and posed for some photos from afar as they held their phones up. “Let’s make sure you get an individual shot with all the other actors here for from the other shows and then we can do all the cast group shots at once, okay?” Ev nodded as she took a welcome drink and smiled, a line of people already forming to talk to her and try and snap a selfie for their social media. She greeted all of them with a practiced ease that had them feeling like they were the only person in the world with her for those few moments. It was a skill that she had honed early in her career and had fared her very well.

“I got to go check on that handsome lad over there but I’ll find you after!” She kissed Maya Rudolph’s cheeks and did her best to not get pulled aside too many times on her way to Callum.

“Must be hard to be so popular,” Gary teased as Ev hugged him tightly.

“Can’t take you anywhere,” Cal mumbled as he leaned down to kiss her. She smiled against his lips and used her hand on his neck to keep him there for an extra peck.

“I can’t hide when I’ve got a bean stalk following me around so I might as well embrace the attention.” Gary laughed, her arms wrapping around Callum’s waist and cheek resting on his chest.

“You two are so good together. I take all the credit.” Gary had been there when they’d met at the chemistry. Had watched the infatuation only increase from that moment forward. Not so subtlety, Evelyn noticed his eyes flicker to her bare ring finger and deflate a little. “I’m going to go make sure everything’s set in the theater. I’ll see you both in there.” She kissed his cheek in farewell and Cal offered him a one handed hug.

“You good? Need another drink?” Evelyn shook her head and rested her chin on her chest so she could look up at him.

“I love you. Just happy to be here with you. Happy that we can keep celebrating this show that brought us together.” He dropped a kiss to her nose.

“I love you even more, how about that?” It earned him a giggle as she turned to remove herself from his embrace, Callum kissing the top of her head as she sighed.

“I’ve got a few more people to get photos with before Tracy yells at me. I’ll find you before the cast photos.”

“Love you, baby.” An arm around her shoulders pulled her back into his orbit so he could kiss her again.

“Love you, Cali Wali.” He blushed at the little nickname she normally saved for the privacy of one of their homes. “Handsome when you blush.”

“Good thing you think so cause I seem to do it a lot around you.” She almost let it slip that she hoped their future kids inherited his propensity for handsome blushing. But she bit her tongue just in time. Since their pregnancy scare a couple weeks ago, Evelyn hadn’t been able to stop thinking about a baby. Like the moment in time where it might have been true had opened a door inside of her. There was still no strong desire in her bones to get married again but now there was one to become a mother. To share in that honor with the man in front of her. “Where’d you go, Ev?” He furrowed his brows and brushed some hair from her cheek.

“Sorry. Just thinking for a minute. I’ll see you in a little bit.” With a final kiss to his cheek, she was off before he could reel her back in. She didn’t know how to broach the conversation. Didn’t know how he’d react to her rejection of his attempts at proposing but her desire to have a child. Would he feel confused? Betrayed? Like he couldn’t have what he wanted but was expected to give her what she wanted? Her hand shook as she made her way towards Karen and Josiah with a smile. The more distractions, the better.

-

Anthony gave her the loudest kiss on the cheek she had ever received and Evelyn giggled at the tickling sensation.

“Missed you, pretty girl,” he smiled as she hugged him and the cameras snapped endlessly.

“Anto, what the fuck is on your face?” she teased as she poked the facial hair.

“Swoon all you want.”

“Bel and I show up looking like ladies, Cal and Nate even shaved for this and you brought that.” Cal rested his arm around her shoulders and her hand reached up to twine their fingers together.

“You loved the mustache when Cal had it!”

“Not a great argument,” Bel cautioned.

“Okay let’s gather round and smile at the camera.” They all set their laughing aside to smile professionally, Evelyn not allowing Callum to move his hand, her arm around his waist where she stood on the end. Fully in his embrace exactly where she liked to be.

“Everyone make sure you come to the screening. Evelyn will be giving a speech!” Anthony announced to laughs from the crowd and a loving roll of Evelyn’s eyes.

“I’ll give one to spare you the pain, baby,” Callum offered.

“I’m claiming the Emmy speech, Anthony. And you won’t be mentioned if you keep up this behavior.” Anthony stuck his tongue out as she chased after him towards the theater. Everyone laughing at their sibling banter the entire way.

“Don’t let that one go.” Callum looked over at Gary.

“I’m trying my best,” he joked back. “Doesn’t get any better than her. Than this.”

He caught her gaze over her shoulder as she looked to make sure he was coming up behind her. Yeah. This. This was once in a lifetime.

[hxlfcrxzy]

The End

It was a funny thing, how so many people could seem to disappear from somewhere within a very similar window of time, but it had happened again and Calamity was down a few faces.

Michael Fothergill, The Mad Wolf himself, lost in a crazed haze, unsure of himself more than normal, struggling after his conversations with Oberyn and Jaxon as to what he was willing to do to get what he wanted. As much as he thrived on senseless killing...when it was people he had grown close to, it hit differently, but proving himself to the person who had taken him so completely, whose own trust the Mad Wolf had shattered remained at odds with everything else. So Mike did what he always did, ignored his responsibilities and the consequences of his actions and ran. He just ran, as he always did, sights on the next functional state where he could start anew. His own pack. His own life. But even a twisted mind has memories, and those he left behind in Calamity haunt his mind, for reasons both good and bad.

Another to leave the state, although for reasons less selfish, was Cardelle Mackie. No one could be quite sure just how long ago the Mackie disappeared, but with the vampires hunt for him heating up, and both his family and friends in constant danger because of him, the wilderness surrounding the state proved to be the best bet. From here he could keep mobile and keep hidden, using his hunter skills to their best use, picking off rogue demons and rogue vampires not affiliated with any group to slowly whittle down the pool of enemies the humans would continually have to endure. Part of him hopes he’ll find Asher out here, or Bram, maybe both? A team of three would be better than a team of one.

Lan Darqen however, did not fare as well. The Invidias took off to his secret compound, in the dead of night as he always did, the intention to kill and take the souls of all his followers, bringing him back up to his full strength, to return and show Azagi exactly what he thought of her escapades with Jakoris and Azarius. The beating was going to be extraordinary. But Lan never made it to the compound, never got the opportunity to reach his old levels of strength. It seemed that the people he had collected had others that had been looking for them, hunting teams from various other states all out to find their friends, and stumbling upon the one demon that had them. The fight wasn’t even that spectacular, Lan being taken out with relative ease without any kind of advantage, his body fading away into nothing. No blaze of glory, no monument to him...just a nameless demon to these people, and nobody back in Calamity would even know, or really care, that he was dead. Properly.

At the very least, Dodger could now sleep easy, knowing that Lan no longer had it in for him, but it seemed the Letharger’s path was preoccupied with other things. His search for Lennel remained unsuccessful, but the means he had taken to assist in that endeavour left their dark mark on him. Does this mean Dodger is evil now? No, not at all, but after years of being bottom of the demons food chain he’s finally realising that he needs to take action when he can to remain comfortable. Luckily, his sin allows him this, stealing the energy from humans he wanders across to keep himself going. He will find Lenn, and when he does, he can finally sleep again.

The enigma surrounding Fox Lucero seems to have shattered within the state of Calamity, and as per routine, not that he would admit to it, Fox decided to move on, to other settlements, other areas and other states where he can bring forth his brand of chaos once again. Somewhere his new guinea pigs don’t know what to expect, somewhere cryptic clues attached to drained corpses are something new and something to be feared. As with the last time, and the time before, and the time before, his name is changed, Fox Lucero is an alias only for Calamity, and he shall never been seen again. The only thing that remains is the suited figure in the darkness, with science on his mind, murder in his eye, and a trail of bodies all deemed failures in his wake.

For Raoul Darcy, it seemed things had been going too smoothly, after finally gaining some control over his magic, feeling like he was making more progress by simply being around Esme than he had in years. He was making friends. He was building relationships. And then one night, coming home from Beserkers, something hits across the back of his head and he blackout. Upon waking, he’s bound, head covered, unsure where he is or what exactly is going on, his magic going crazy sending crimson electrical bursts but they do nothing to help free him. As far as Raoul is aware, his mother has found him again, and is taking him back to the coven, intent on punishing him for escaping her grasp. His current status remains unknown.

And finally, Ricardo Juarez, little Ricochet as his older brother used to call him, the older brother he had come back at the request of, and yet had not had the opportunity to see him. At least he’d seen Octavia, put her worried mind at ease...hugged her for the first time ever he supposed. She seemed in a better place after the fiasco with the wolf, and he had promised to remain by her side. The same with Peyton, he had sworn to her face he wouldn’t leave again, the promise of dinner waiting after a long arduous fight between the Mer and the Demons, but it seemed the Royals he served had other ideas. Their orders were simple: go back to the kingdom they had sent him too initially, as his return to Calamity had been unauthorised. It’s broken his heart having to leave Peyton again, even more so to leave Octavia, but he knows one days, when all the fighting is done, he can return home and be with all of them again, peacefully.

[subwaywardeningo]

I have been avoiding traveling outside of Galar for that reason, though I imagine at some point that will happen at some point, perhaps with Arezu also coming along. For now, we’re keeping travels to Galar. As for the loss of Hisuian Sneasel, hopefully the S.R.R.F. finds a way to bring them back…wait, what do you mean by “little fare dodger”? Did one of them or their evolution end up coming along with you?

I still don’t know what’s up with those strange…I want to say analogies? Perhaps they’ll make more sense with what I can learn now…

Ingo, as well as his brother Emmet, are the twin Subway Masters of Unova. They’re rather well known for making various analogies and similar comparisons to various aspects of trains and the terms associated with them. Clearly, he still made them during his time in Hisui, even if not immediately.

Oh…that probably also explains the distinct coat and hat if true…is that true Ingo?

You will always be welcome in Unova, both of you!

And, ah... yes. When I was returned to my proper place, one of Lady Sneasler's kits snuck in at the very last second. By the time we noticed his presence, it was far too late to turn back. He gets along well with my teams, as well as my brother's team, at least.

It is very true! I am a Subway Boss, though currently this is mostly just a title leftover from my previous time in Gear Station. I have yet to regain my previous certifications. It was quite refreshing to learn that I was not speaking in complete nonsense after all, but instead making comparisons to trains! Have you seen a train yet? They are wonderful. Galar has a wonderfully robust rail system, and I hope to visit it when I am able to do so!

I'm not quite sure why I always make these analogies, though. It's comforting, I suppose, and helps me to clarify my thoughts by comparing them to something I am familiar with, even if I did not remember it consciously. My brother does the same thing.

[energylifept]

Game online bus simulator indonesia

Unreal, Unreal Engine, the circle-U logo and the Powered by the Unreal Engine logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of Epic Games, Inc. "Setra" and "K im Kreis" are trademarks of EvoBus GmbH and used under license by astragon Entertainment GmbH. and used under license by astragon Entertainment GmbH. IVECO BUS and URBANWAY are trademarks owned by IVECO S.p.A. MAN is a trademark of MAN Truck & Bus AG. "Mercedes-Benz" and the "three-pointed star in a ring" are trademarks of Daimler AG and used under license by astragon Entertainment GmbH. Bus Simulator 18, astragon, astragon Entertainment and its logos are trademarks or registered trademarks of astragon Entertainment GmbH. Published and distributed by astragon Entertainment GmbH. © 2018 astragon Entertainment GmbH and stillalive studios. Create your own license plate with the license plate generator.Modern technology: The Unreal® Engine 4 provides a high level of graphic detail and stunning simulation quality.interior soiling and debris, special passenger requests, fare dodgers, loud music and cars parked in designated bus bays. For a complete gaming experience, a variety of incidents in the bus, e.g.Smart traffic AI and a range of challenging traffic situations await you (bus station, night driving, construction sites, diversions, long-distance journeys, potholes, traffic jams, accidents and speed bumps, etc.).Authentically reproduced cockpits of the 4 manufacturers, equipped with numerous individual functions.Customisation: fully customise your buses with different colours, patterns and advertising panels.Control your bus in different weather conditions, both day and night.Authentic bus sounds, extensive tutorial and passenger voiceovers in English and German to provide even more atmosphere.Support for popular steering wheels, gamepads, Tobii eye tracking and TrackIR.You can also download and install the modding content available from the Steam Workshop to enhance your game experience. Modding: let your imagination run wild and create routes, build your own buses, design bus liveries, create new maps and share them with the community.For novices and pros: you can play in a simplified or a realistic mode.The updated progression system and the comprehensive management element, including route planning, the purchase and sale of buses, staff planning and numerous statistics will guarantee long-term game motivation.In real-time multiplayer mode you can drive around the 12 districts and over 5.8mi² of routes in the freely drivable urban area with up to 3 friends and therefore promote your bus service.8 buses from 4 leading manufacturers are faithfully reproduced in meticulous detail, including the Mercedes-Benz Citaro K, Mercedes-Benz Citaro G, MAN Lion’s City bus, MAN Lion’s City CNG articulated bus, SETRA S 418 LE business, SETRA S 416 LE business, IVECO BUS Urbanway and the IVECO BUS Urbanway CNG articulated bus.So, what are you waiting for? Your shift has already started! Features: With the extensive modding support of Bus Simulator 18 there are no limits: create routes, build your own buses, create bus liveries, design new maps and share them with the community, or download and install the modding content available from the Steam Workshop to enhance your game experience.īut drive carefully with the buses you build! Don’t cause any damage or accidents and watch out for the speed cameras located around the city, or it could have a negative effect on your reputation, not to mention your wallet. Use the thousands of miles of virtual roads and streets to gain new districts, new buses and new customisation options. On the contrary, take full control of your bus, earn money, gain a good reputation owing to your safe and punctual driving style and enjoy almost limitless driving pleasure in the authentic urban locations. Don’t be deterred by freak weather conditions, potholes, traffic jams, fare evaders, accidents, construction sites, night driving and specific passenger requests. Get behind the wheel of your 8 original licensed city buses from the great brands of Mercedes-Benz, Setra, MAN, and IVECO BUS and transport your passengers safely and punctually to their destinations, either solo in single player mode, or with friends in real-time multiplayer mode.Īs a bus driver in the 12 different districts, you’ll face the challenges of the traffic in a big city and everything that entails. Whether in the industrial or harbour zone, downtown, in the surrounding villages or the business park, in Bus Simulator 18, you experience up-close the exciting everyday life of a bus driver in a vast and freely drivable urban area.

[capsiclecevans]

⚠️Tw⚠️ hello can you do a prompt about chris evans or sebastian stan where the reader gets r!aped and he are there to help you?

because he loved you

Warnings: ⚠️TW⚠️ mentions of rape, mentions of blood and sick, also a lot of angst and tears, nothing graphic but all of these triggers are mentioned, please do NOT read if these do trigger you! 

Summary: prompt idea as above

Word Count: 836

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

⭐︎ ashleigh’s masterlist ⭐︎ | ☾ ashleigh’s taglist ☽

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

Bile rose in your throat as you squeezed your eyes shut as the taxi driver drove you home, tears spilling down your cheeks quietly as you comprehend what happened. What happened when you were meant to be having a fun girls night out, until you lost them and found yourself stuck in a random man’s company until there was a burning between your legs and you know for certain that you repeatedly told him that you had a boyfriend and that you weren't interested. He took you for granted as you were drunk, alone as your friends were no longer to be seen and your phone had died so you couldn’t call Chris to come and pick you up. You were pretty sure there was blood trickling down your leg from the assault he had put you through and your dress was torn a little as you tried to struggle free from his grips.

“Miss, we are here...” Your taxi driver says as you finally look at him, he has turned in his seat to look at you, a frown plastered on his face when he sees your tear stained cheeks and looks towards the house, the outside light turned on for when you arrived home. “This your house? Is there someone waiting for you?”

You only nod lightly, glancing towards the door. “M-my boyfriend...” You say and sob a little more as the taxi driver nods.

“Wait here miss, I will go and get him...” He says, noticing that you are in no clear state to try and get into the house alone, let alone pay the $20 taxi fare. You watch him walk to the door, seeing his hand knocking on the door and then the muffled barks of Dodger coming from inside the house. The taxi driver didn’t need to wait very long for Chris to answer the door, obviously waiting up for you to get home rather than going to sleep.

You could barely see Chris’ face through your tears but you noticed his body language change as the taxi driver was explaining your state. Chris carefully pushes Dodger into the house before shutting the door and following the older man to the taxi, opening your door slowly and crouching down beside you. The taxi driver stood a few metres away to allow Chris to get you out the car without worrying you more.

You allow Chris to unbuckle your seatbelt and lifts you out into his arms, passing the $20 bill to the taxi driver, nodding at him lightly in appreciation that he came to get help with you before he carries you inside, pressing a kiss to your head lovingly.

Chris waits till he sets you in your bedroom, helping you get into a pyjama set and settled into bed. Having also helped you clean your face of your tears and make up, but the issue was that the tears kept coming, they just didn't seem to want to stop. Why would they? You just went through something so traumatic, you don’t know how Chris would take the news.

“Baby...” He says and climbs into bed next to you, his touch on your hip making you flinch, his eyes widening at your reaction. “Baby, what happened?” He asks as Dodger settles by your feet, as he always does when he knows you need comfort.

You close your eyes tightly and shake your head. No, please stop asking, I can’t. You think to yourself before feeling Chris carefully stroke your cheek, the circles that his thumb made soothing you slightly. You knew that you wouldn't be able to keep this to yourself for very long, and if Chris knew then he would be able to help you through this. He would always stand by your side, because he loved you. He adored you. You were his entire world.

“I-I, I…” You start before taking a deep breath to steady yourself, Chris not pushing you, waiting patiently for you to be ready to tell him what the matter was so he could help you feel better. “I was raped Chris…I lost my friends and I was raped…”

Chris’ face went from worry to anger then, when he saw the tears in your eyes again back to worry, he waits for your permission for him to pull you into his embrace and when you do he doesn’t waste a second before holding you in his arms. He presses a kiss to your head, rubbing soothing circles on your back slowly and whispers sweet nothings in your ear which helps you fall asleep in your arms because God, does Chris know that is what you need right now. And when you wake up in the morning he will be there to support you in whatever way you want to take this revelation, but he does know that you will not be alone in this and he will be there every step of the way to help you.

Because he loved you.

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

Send me prompts to my ask!

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

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[ihopesocomic]

I actually hate Dodger (unpopular opinion) I feel they make him out as this cool amazing guy when really he’s a two faced jackass. He uses a literal child to steal sausages, ditches him with nothing all so he can have them for himself and his gang. And we’re supposed to be like “awe he had a reason he wouldn’t give Ollie his rightful half he wanted to feed his family” No… no excuses, Oliver should’ve been given some too, he’s a growing child. Instead Dodger tricks him into helping him steal sausages endangering the poor kitten, then proceeds to take all of for his little gang. Another problem is later he guilt trips poor Oliver for wanting to go back to his safe home and not stay on the dangerous streets with Dodger’s sketchy family. I mean he was left unsupervised got tangled in cords and was saved by the little girl. I don’t blame him for wanting a safe life and Dodgers awful for treating him the way he did, he’s an adult and should know better. They are anthropomorphised animals so he should be held accountable the same way a person would be. Sorry I just don’t like Dodger.

As much as I like Dodger's character design and he's a fun character to doodle, I can't deny you've hit some good points here.

This is another issue I have with Oliver and Company: it seemed like Disney wanted to adapt Oliver Twist into a modern retelling with dogs but, at the same time, they didn't.

The Artful Dodger in the original book was - like Fagin - a far from sympathetic character. He partakes in kidnapping Oliver and keeping him a prisoner alongside Fagin because Fagin is being paid to do so by Monks, the true antagonist of the book and Oliver's long lost half-brother. Yes, spoilers, but the book is nearly 200 years old.

Most modern adaptations try and portray him as assuming a big brother role to Oliver. The 60's musical being an example of this - Jack Wild is just the best Dodger, he's such a total bro where Oliver is concerned. The way he fucking stares down Bill Sykes at one point when he's ready to lay into Oliver, with his hands sorta wrapped around him and comforting him. Just adorable.

Dodger in Oliver and Company clearly forms the same bond with Oliver but, at the same time, elements from the original book are there with his 'fares are for tourists' attitude and it can come across as very jarring at times.

Again, I really wish they'd taken notes from the book and the 60's musical and made him a puppy. At least then, his rotten behaviour could be put down to the fact that he's a kid trying to make ends meet in New York City and he has a immature way of dealing with that, including bullying. An adult character doing what he did to a kid, yeah, it's hard to really justify or defend.

When Dodger is being cute with Oliver and being a badass and defending him, he's a great character. Otherwise, yeah, we could've done without the parts you mentioned.

Even when he's mad that Oliver doesn't want to stay with them. OK, he's upset because he's formed an attachment to him but Billy Joel's delivery is so full of attitude and passive aggressive that it's hard to feel bad for him.

Again, why the hell couldn't he be a KID character?? This attitude would've been so much more understandable.

God, it's frustrating and it's very little wonder why The Land Before Time did better. Even when Cera is being a little bitch, you still feel bad for her because she's obviously a five year old in dinosaur terms and her voice is adorable.

You have more patience with kid characters being little assholes at times because... they're kids. There's room for growth and character development and you could argue that the flawed moments are all part of them learning to do better. - RJ

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 271: My Hero Tokodemia

Previously on BnHA: Mic was all “goodbye X-Less don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” and just LEFT him with Tomura, like. ???! X-Less was all “I’m gonna sit here and do nothing and wait to die.” Ujiko was all “this has nothing to do with ANYTHING but I just want you to know that I conspired to murder your husband 15 years ago and ended up killing his best friend instead!” Tomura was all “what up bitches I’m in this chapter too” and had trippy dreams about hands and buildings and his family was there and also All for One (the dude)! Because guess what, Tomura has All For One (the quirk) now! Because AFO gave it to him! So yeah! And now he’s waking up, and Deku can apparently feel it happening because he’s a horcrux probably, and so basically everything is FINALLY GOING TO SHIT AND IT’S ABOUT TIME BUT ALSO AHHHHH.

Today on BnHA: SHIGARAKI WHO TOMURA WHAT. Back to Gunga Mountain! So Dabi is all “you do know your beloved mentor just killed a guy right?” and Toko is all “!!” and Dabi is all “SO THAT MAKES HIM THE WORST CRIMINAL OF ALL!” and, WITHOUT THE SLIGHTEST HINT OF IRONY, IMMEDIATELY follows up this bold statement by TRYING TO BURN A CHILD ALIVE. Anyway so this is why Dabi wasn’t the keynote speaker at the “murder is bad” convention though. So most of the chapter is like this, with Dabi (albeit somewhat halfheartedly) trying to set Toko on fire while Toko desperately tries to keep between him and Hawks. Eventually though, Dabi is confusingly thwarted by Otter Pops, making his triumphant return and spraying a bunch of ice just every which way because things weren’t chaotic enough I guess! And then the chapter ends with everyone’s favorite Guy They Hoped Wouldn’t Be Waking Up In This Arc, Gigantomachia, waking up!! :’) :’) :’) etc you get it.

okay so I am please to clarify that the spoilers I received were not actually all that big of a deal, and that pretty much all I know is that we’re cutting back to Dabi and Tokoyami probably, and there’s a good chance we might not even see Tomura at all this chapter in spite of last week’s cliffhanger. so even if I’d have preferred not to know that up front, it’s all good! though I will say Horikoshi has a real knack for cutting away from things right when you’re at your most invested though. reminds me of what it was like reading Lord of the Rings for the first time. “nooo I don’t want to cut back to Frodo -- WAIT WHAT’S GOING ON -- NO I DON’T WANT TO CUT BACK TO MERRY AND PIPPIN DAMMIT -- WAIT WHAT”

anyways! lol guys guess what

so then! those spoilers did indeed have the ring of truth! well this should be interesting

lmao he’s forcibly clawing his way out of Fat’s belly via aggressive use of Dark Shadow oh damn

oh man you guys. time to catalog some feels

Fatgum you do realize you were in the running for #2 hero but have now bled serious points by letting a child run back into danger and doing absolutely nothing to stop him! although to be fair you do have other children to protect, and this one child also should not have been able to do what he just did! and also Child Endangerment is U.A.’s unofficial motto and you didn’t even go to U.A. but you would fit right in though let me tell you. but anyway so the point is this isn’t really anything new, but still

HIS BODY JUST MOVED BEFORE HE COULD THINK ahhhh Toko. THIS IS YOUR MOMENT!! THE MY HERO TOKODEMIA ARC BEGINS NOW

I hope we get a followup panel of Kaminari freaking out and trying to go after his pal (but not actually succeeding though, because I swear to god Fatgum, if you fuck this up again all of my remaining goodwill is just gonna fly right out the window. and it’s a lot of goodwill too! but we don’t screw around when it comes to children’s safety!!). just would be a nice touch! ah well if they don’t show it I’ll just headcanon it

last but not least, it’s also worth noting that while I love how brave and selfless and concerned for his mentor’s wellbeing Tokoyami is here, this was still an incredibly stupid move on his part! least of all because he actually had no idea that Hawks truly was in danger. is it weird to say he lucked out? “you’re so fortunate your teacher actually was being burned alive you reckless little goose!” but like, you know what I mean though right

anyway

-- oh they are showing it!!

YAY HE IS A GOOD BOY. THAT IS ALL. CARRY ON

Toko’s shouting over his shoulder that Hawks is “probably” in trouble. for fuck’s

I mean yeah, it’s probably just some gut instinct which funnily enough happens to be absolutely right. but I’m sorry you guys, there’s just this small part of me that just can’t get over the fact that he briefly saw Hawks flying for all of .2 seconds, and saw some flames, and just IMMEDIATELY leapt to the worst-case-scenario conclusion. you know what this is? it’s the decision-making process of a kid who is actually WAY more powerful than we’ve been giving him credit for. enough so that his self-preservation instincts don’t even kick in at all because it doesn’t even occur to him how dangerous of a move this is. goddammit Tokoyami. you kids think you’re all grown up now and ffff just please be safe

and okay, I’ll give Fatgum some benefit of the doubt for just letting that happen because apparently this is literally the first and only time

seems he didn’t even think it was possible up until now. so that’s fair

OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT FATGUM YOU ARE REDEEMED

THAT’S RIGHT!! YOU DON’T JUST UP AND LEAVE THE FATAXI WHENEVER YOU FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT. FARE DODGERS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW!!

so he’s immediately following after him, but is smart enough not to put the other kids in danger! good split-second decision-making there. certain other people in this chapter could take notes! and of course my one fear now though is that the other three children will not listen to him at all, but you know what, let’s deal with one thing at a time

hmmm

dammit Horikoshi, what...?? you really like to toe the lines of what is and isn’t problematic huh? literally if you wanted to go for a cool barbarian look all you had to do was stick with the same kind of costume scheme you had going in the second and fourth popularity polls. but no, you had to go and give him a fucking war bonnet. was that one guy back in the Hero Killer arc not enough. at least this is only a cover page, sigh

also I see that Tokoyami was asked to name his own feature chapter. I’m just happy that he’s happy

would you fucking look at this

first of all, why is Dabi suddenly twenty feet away from them. and second, would you just look at how ridiculously intact Hawks fucking is. Dabi really was microwaving him on the defrost setting only huh

so now everyone’s just looking at each other. sizin’ each other up and stuff

yeah no shit it’s bad. you rushed in thinking you could somehow handle a situation which had even the second strongest guy on the ropes. and handle it alone, no less. lord help me why are the bravest ones also always the most stupid

EEP

HIS WINGS??? also his fucking BACK jesus christ. meaning he’s completely immobile for now at best, and probably soon to be in critical condition and going into shock if he isn’t already. okay so maybe it wasn’t just the defrost setting, fuck. Hawkssss 8|

oh???????

holy shit. an opportunity to actually find out how much of a bastard Dabi actually is?? we of course know he had no problem whatsoever with kidnapping a kid back in the day. but would he go so far as to seriously fight and/or try to kill one? a kid who’s no older than your little brother?? oh gosh oh golly oh intrigue

I literally have not made up my mind on Dabi redemption one way or the other, just to be clear (he’s just been too mysterious up till now and I feel like I don’t know enough), so I am super curious to see how this plays out so I can finally form an opinion!

OH SNAP

SCORE ONE FOR “HE MAY BE AN A-HOLE, BUT HE’S NOT, AND I QUOTE, 100% A DICK”? MAYBE?? but on the other hand he’s definitely not just gonna let Hawks go either so ahhhh???

(ETA: so it seems we’ve arrived at a solid “mildly bastardish!” idk. it definitely seems to me like he’s trying not to murder this teenager for no good reason. ironically he’s in much the same position here that Hawks was less than a dozen chapters ago; facing against someone who’s just trying to protect his friend, and trying to talk him down at first, but then attacking once it’s clear that he’s not going to back off. ah well. still as morally gray as ever.)

ah I see, we’re gonna start by shattering his naive illusions!

(ETA: fucking christ, the scan is so dark I didn’t even notice Twice’s charred corpse just LYING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND the first time I read this. and now that I have noticed it, I would just like to say, sincerely, what the fuck.)

welp, there it is. finally the kids are getting properly involved in this arc, and AS EXPECTED, they are promptly being traumatized. oh Toko ;_;

Dabi this speech you’re making would feel more original if literal scores of tumblrs hadn’t spent the last two months exhaustively analyzing every single last possible angle of this debate lol. everyone has already made up their minds on the “is Hawks worth saving” controversy one way or the other but okay sure, go ahead and throw your hat into the ring too

lmao whaaaaaaat. “as a last resort, after his attempts to take him peacefully were thwarted, Hawks killed a man so as to prevent that man from killing countless others during our coup to take over the country because our boss wants to destroy everything. clearly, Hawks is the worst out of everyone else involved in this equation!” now that! is a take! lol

OH NO OH GOD

“PEW PEW PEW ENJOY THOSE FEELS” HORIKOSHI WHOOPS WHILE SHOOTING LASER GUN FINGERS AT ME, AND HEY, NOW

HEY, I SAID!!!

WHAT THE FUCK -- WHAT EVEN IS THE FUCKING SCREENPLAY FOR THIS THING?? “A BARELY-CONSCIOUS HAWKS MURMURS HIS STUDENT’S NAME WITH AN ACHINGLY WEARY LOOK OF SHAME AND REGRET! AS DABI LOOKS ON, TOKOYAMI GENTLY LIFTS HIS FALLEN MASTER AND WRAPS HIS CAPE AROUND HIS BACK, LOOKING OVERWHELMED, BUT DETERMINED. TOKOYAMI: I’M JUST... CONCERNED FOR MY TEACHER.” who the fuck wrote this shit and how much pleasure were they taking in ripping my heart out and violently slamming it against the wall

sob, and unfortunately Dabi doesn’t look particularly moved himself by any of this

DAMMIT DABI PLEASE RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME. GO AWAY AND HAVE YOUR REVENGE SOME OTHER DAY GODDAMMIT

DABI!!

Dabi I swear to god!! if you seriously try and burn my gothbird son I will...

DABI WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY. LEAVE THE KID ALONE

Tokoyami... sweetie...

IF ONLY YOU COULD JUST. fly back out?? the exact same way you came??? if only that was a thing you could do??? or can he not fly while he’s carrying another person, maybe? dammit I forget

?!

wait what?? is he implying that Dabi isn’t seriously trying to kill them yet? is that what this is? I should just read on since this is clearly only the first part of something longer that he’s saying and I have to stop this bad habit of trying to analyze half a sentence before I go on and read the rest of the sentence

well whatever it is, he’s absolutely right; Dabi as it turns out is still standing there 25 feet away like a social distance champ, monologuing from afar

this panel gets more hilarious to me the longer I stare at it you guys. someone please make a comic where Hawks is all “he’s still talking...” and Toko looks to see Dabi RAMBLING ON and slowly inches further and further away while Dabi completely fails to take any notice lmao

so Tokoyami is just staring back, and then suddenly he’s all “orders from Hawks!” which I think is just him asking Hawks what to do now??

and fucking look at this lol

“just slowly inch away while he’s monologuing. I just found out he’s secretly a Todoroki so now I know his weakness: he will literally drop dead before he ever stops being dramatic”

OH MY GOD

ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS ISN’T A JOKE AND THAT’S HIS ACTUAL WEAKNESS LMAO. HAVE WE CROSSED PLANES INTO SOME KIND OF SATIRICAL REALITY. WHAT IS HAPPENING

LMAO OKAY NO HAWKS IS SAYING THAT DABI IS JUST BULLSHITTING THEM BECAUSE HE’S USED UP ALL HIS FLAMES OR SOME SHIT. LOL OKAY THEN. ALL I HEARD WAS “HE WASN’T ABLE TO FUCKING KILL ME BECAUSE HE NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP.” WHERE IS THE LIE

OH SNAP THERE HE GOES

he is running away in the background, right?? Dark Shadow is just a distraction? you better not be seriously trying to fight him oh god please be smart about this

okay yes good!!

bringing back some unpleasant memories of the last guy who took a tumble off this balcony, but whatever! I’m sure he’s got some kind of plan in mind here

yep okay so he’s using Dark Shadow as a bungee cord

Hawks is so fucking short he somehow looks the same size as this little bird hobbit who’s carrying him. this is just a battle of tiny, tiny people

OH MY GOD FUCKING OUCH OH GEEZ

I FELT THAT OH MY GOD

AND OF FUCKING COURSE THAT KO’D HAWKS FOR GOOD, BECAUSE HE NO LONGER HAS A FUCKING BACK, AND HE JUST TARZANED OFF A BALCONY AND TOKOYAMI LANDED RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM JESUS CHRIST. R.I.P.

TOKO IS ALL “HE MUST HAVE BLACKED OUT FROM THE IMPACT JUST NOW” AND YEAH, YOU THINK?? WOULDN’T YOU?? FUCK

OH MY GOD HE’S PICKING HIM UP AND HE’S SO FUCKING TINY OH GOD OH JESUS

STOP BEING DRAMATIC AND JUST CARRY HIM OUT OF THERE ALREADY CAN WE GET A MOVE ON PLEASE? YOU’RE DOING SO GOOD BUDDY AND I’M SO PROUD, BUT ALSO THE REST OF THE LEAGUE IS STILL OUT THERE AND NOTHING IS SAFE AND AHHHH

-- AND ALSO THIS GUY STILL!!

no doubt. no doubt whatsoever the blood that runs through those veins. the theatrics are more of a dna marker than the flame quirk could ever be

also!! ARE WE SURE HAWKS IS ACTUALLY TWENTY-THREE?? COULDN’T THE HPSC HAVE FORGED HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE?? THIS IS A BABY PROVE ME WRONG??

anyway so since Dabi is now saying “joke’s on you, I can still use my flames whenever the fuck I want,” I’m going to take this as confirmation that he really was keeping his distance just so he could utilize forced perspective. I’m going to make a post about this as soon as I’m done reading lol

HORIKOSHI WILL YOU PLEASE STOP WITH THE ENDLESS CLOSE-UPS OF A FRIGHTENED TOKOYAMI CLINGING TO HIS UNCONSCIOUS MENTOR SCARED BUT READY TO PROTECT HIM WITH HIS LIFE I REALLY CAN’T???

DABI’S REALLY OUT HERE TRYING TO BURN THESE LITTLE BABY CHICKS ALIVE. WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING CHILL MY DUDE

OH MY GOD

SOME KIND OF CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED AHHHH WHO

AHHH MT. LADY?!

(ETA: ngl, I’m still not sure how I feel about this sequence of panels but I did laugh good and hard though.)

-- holy shit that was ice??! oh lord don’t tell me

yeppp, looks like it’s our old buddy Dairy Queen back at it again

look... Geten?? is it?? nothing against you personally. but I have a deep-seeded and enduring dislike of everyone from the Meta Liberation Army still and that includes you pal

that being said, did you inadvertently save Tokoyami’s life, though? I originally thought those were just ~anime shockwaves~ from some off-screen attack, but if that was all actually ice, it looks like you might have cut Dabi off. which I approve of! but also that’s some serious friendly fire you tomfool

so he’s yelling that he’s disrupted the heroes’ siege, which it looks like he has! very sloppily, but still

and also, way to have both of your fire users currently 80km away, hero team! you knew Geten was here, no?? who even planned this

now this Bleach-looking dude is sneaking up on Gang Orca with what looks to be a hole-punching quirk which is freaking me out a bit ngl

Gang please take him out with your famous yeet as soon as possible, I don’t know if I can handle a prolonged fight against this particular quirk

YES TOKO GET THE FUCK OUT!!!

there is no fucking way this kid is anywhere near his twenties incidentally I might add. none at all. we’ve been had

NO STOP FEELS

HE’S CRYING JESUS CHRIST HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND HIS TEACHER IS HURT AND DYING MAYBE AND THE VILLAIN SAID HE KILLED SOMEONE AND HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER, HE STILL WANTS TO PROTECT HIM AND HE’S JUST A BABY TOO?! IT’S TOO MUCH??

AND I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M SURPRISED OR SHOCKED BY ANY OF THIS AT ALL?? LISTEN UP EVERYONE, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I FOUND INSIDE OF THIS BAG IN THE FRIDGE WHICH WAS LABELED “CHILD SOLDIERS LIFE-OR-DEATH BATTLE ARC.” THE CONTENTS OF THIS BAG... MAY SHOCK YOU

lmao yeah but GUESS WHAT! I’M STILL GONNA GET ALL WORKED UP OVER IT AND I’M EVEN GONNA LIKE IT! but also. my babiesss

oh for fuck’s sake this guy still??

okay so I’ve already scrolled down enough to see the very top of the last page after this, and I’m pretty sure that’s Gigantomachia’s hair lol. please don’t tell me the radio is still on and he heard Tomura’s voice oh fiddlefucks

YEP

:’)

welp. strap yourselves in, chums. 19 chapters in, and this arc is only just beginning

[twiddlebirdlet]

This fandom stays paranoid. Relax everyone and enjoy the drama free period we are experiencing. Cause I'm sure Chris won't stay single or appearing single for forever. But congrats to Harry and Olivia if it's real.

More Anons:

“Chris is an actor in Holywood. PR is a part of his job tho... PR relationships too, sadly.“

“I think (I hope) Chris realizes that it would be irresponsible to be pulling PR stunts like that to try to get the GG nomination. Things are still terrible in the US right now (and the UK, since the anon mentioned London--we're on lockdown til mid February at least). Hopefully he'll just stick to thirst traps and Dodger pics and maybe some charity stuff.“

“CE will do more PR pap walks or dating or whatever the studios/producers require. These “arrangements” are in the contracts. If NF wants him seen with ADA or another actress(es) for TGM, he’ll have to oblige. I wouldn’t be surprised to see it unfold around or after the time primary starts.“

“Please don't say it too loud 🤣🤣 these things popp up unexpectedly, without any warning. Everytime we are happy that it isn't our fandom we'll be hit back at some point 🙈“

“I personally expect him to do one. Idk why I feel that way. It wouldnt surprise me at all. Although I feel like with how large his production is, a pap walk would not fare well. And who knows what precautions he will have to take in terms of bubbles. I would think Netflix for the Gray Man might be stricter than Dont Worry Darling.  “

“I think after the backlash he got with LJ and I think him and Megan are done with the romance PR and sticking with posting content to get that PR “

“oh man, from your lips to god's ears. I don't want to see a fake pr relationship w chris because it's just so lazy and predictable and trite. He has shown he can get good pr in other ways. He doesn't need to play that game.“

********************

Luckily, Chris does pap walks rarely, but they happen. If he’s going to do one, I could do with another one where he’s just walking Dodger on the streets of Los Angeles. That would be nice.

[just-come-baek]

Jewels

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Themes: smut | adventure!au | archeologist!reader | dodger!jk

Word count: 16.1k (whoops!)

Summary: Nobody said it’s going to be easy, but when Jeon Jungkook, the handsome troublemaker, tags along on my adventure, my simple trip morphs into a life-threatening mission. I was to find an ancient necklace and gain fame in the archeology field, but thanks to Jungkook’s mischief, we also attracted lots of unnecessary attention and plenty of enemies.

Warnings: unprotected sex (there’s a lot going on, and I’m not gonna spoil it here), foul language, questionable loyalty

A/N lightly inspired by adventure movies such as Tomb Rider, The Mummy, Indiana Jones, and maybe others but unconsciously

***

The first thing which hit me when I left the airport was the heat; it was scorching hot, humidity was unquestionably above seventy percent, and I knew my stay in Casablanca wasn’t going to be as pleasant as I had expected it to be regardless of being used to high temperatures. I could make it, though. Casablanca was just a stop before I’d head further toward my destination.

Adjusting my straw hat which almost got blown away by a sudden wave of sizzling wind, I grabbed my suitcase and headed to the taxi rank. My hotel was only fifteen minutes away from the airport, but I wouldn’t risk getting sunstroke at the very beginning of my journey.

Thankfully, the taxi driver spoke English.

It was the only upside, unfortunately, since I almost died inside the vehicle without air-conditioning. The driver was unbothered, and I wondered how the hell he could withstand such conditions. Or how people could endure such weather in general.

“First time in Casablanca?” The driver started, glancing at me in the stained rearview mirror.

“No,” I lied, “I come here every year,” I added, knowing better not to disclose such information as he might’ve taken advantage of me, the naïve and inexperienced tourist. “It feels like home,” I added, looking through the window, admiring the beautiful scenery while the taxi driver hummed in acknowledgment as he turned to the left.

“Have a nice stay,” he respectfully spoke as he handed me my suitcase, and I paid the fare.

“Thank you,” I replied, smiling at him brightly, glad he drove directly to my hotel and not around the whole city at least twice.

Blowing the fringe off my forehead, I clenched the suitcase with one hand, undoing two first buttons of my thin white blouse with the other one, desperately trying to cool off.

“That’s it, it’s your shot, don’t fucking waste it,” I muttered to myself, hoping the pep talk would help me not chicken out. It was my only chance, or I would be royally screwed in more sense than one. My career wouldn't be the only thing ruined.

Having delivered the motivational speech to myself, I raised my head high and went into the hotel. Unlike any other hotels, the one in which I was staying was flea-bitten; half of the bulbs weren’t working, dust was everywhere, and the smell of sweat and dirt hung in the air. Too bad, I couldn’t afford the night in a four-star hotel nearby.

On the bright side, I’m staying here only for one night.

Confidently, I reached the front desk, telling the receptionist personal information so he could give me the keys to the room booked under my name. Although he spoke pidgin English, I could pick up most of the instructions he needed to relay.

Though my room was of the best quality they could provide, I still had a handful of reasons to complain. I wasn’t going to, though. It was already nine o’clock in the evening, and knowing me, dirty windows or empty mini refrigerator or broken air-conditioning wouldn’t agitate me that much after a couple of drinks at the hotel’s bar.

Not bothering to unpack, I opened the window, hoping to air the room, so when I'd have returned it would be more bearable to survive the night.

“You got this,” I egged on, staring at my reflection in the stained mirror. “People will write about you in papers when you find that jewel.” I continued as I reapplied my red lipstick.

Most of the scientists believe the Aminata’s accessory is a myth, but I was going to find it, earning the glory and fame in archeology environment. The necklace is made of African’s biggest blood-red ruby, decorated with twelve large diamonds, and it said to have supernatural properties.

Four thousand years ago, Aminata was the most beautiful woman on the entire African continent, and though she didn’t have a wealthy background, no man could resist her beauty. Many wanted to marry her, and some of whom were ready to kill for her grace.

On her sixteenth birthday, a handsome nobleman paid her a visit. Enchanted by her beauty, he gave her the necklace which was a token of his feelings for her. The blood-red ruby symbolized he would execute anyone who dared to look into her eyes. The diamonds, depending on two different translations signified either all the lifetimes he was going to love her or the purity of his feelings.

He claimed her, but the attention she was receiving from other men grew. Whatever her desire was, she had plenty of volunteers to fulfill it. Despite the dazzling pendant around her neck, men still yearn for the tiniest bit of her attention, whereas women hated her enormously being driven by envy.

When sun descended behind the horizon and the moon shined brightly, a few high-positioned women (a few women with high-positioned husbands) went to an enchantress, inclined to sacrifice everything for Aminata’s death. In exchange for their tongues, the enchantress locked Aminata’s beauty in the necklace.

Aminata’s charms were gone the second the necklace got stolen by one of the women, Yaya. She possessed the beauty and forced the men to kill Aminata. They scarred her beautiful face and defiled her body, and when she begged for mercy, Yaya slid her throat.

When the night fell, the women commanded their slaves to take Aminata’s body on the boat and bury her corpse in a cave on one of the inhabited islands. Tempted to keep the necklace, Yaya earned disrespect from the other women. Out of hatred, the women locked out Yaya in the tomb with Aminata.

The necklace remains lost until now, but I’m about to change that. I studied the Senegalese legends for two years, writing my master degree paper on it, and I am determined to find it, shaking up the entire archeology field. It may be dangerous, but I am willing to face the odds if that means the Aminata’s necklace becomes mine.

Checking my appearance one more time in the mirror, I threw the bag over my shoulder, ready to get wasted. Maybe it was the last time I had a chance to get drunk, so I was going to make the best of my current situation even though a lot of aspects could be improved.

As soon as I walked inside, I felt all the eyes on me. Maybe ten people were seated in the bar, and all of them were men, so I wasn’t surprised by the commotion I was making. Ignoring their nasty stares, I sat down on a barstool, waiting for the bartender to approach me.

“What can I get you?” The bartender asked in English, sensing I was a foreigner, and I smiled, staring at the bottles of alcohol which was sitting on the shelves behind him. It's my first time traveling alone, and given the circumstances, it may be my last, so I assumed it was an excellent opportunity to try something new and experiment a little.

“I’ll have a glass of bourbon with a lot of ice,” I ordered, and the bartender nodded.

“Put it on my tab,” a man, who was sitting two barstools away from me, spoke, as he tilted his glass a little, sending me a smirk. “What such a pretty little thing is doing in such a shabby place like this?” He inquired, his doe eyes scanning my frame.

“Getting hit on by random dudes,” I retorted, thanking the bartender who brought my order.

“Feisty, I like feisty,” he commented as he jumped off his barstool, taking the one beside me. “I’m Jungkook, and you are?” He introduced himself, offering a handshake which I hesitantly accepted. “What a pretty name,” he said when he heard me say it.

“And what are you doing here?” I curiously asked, cocking up my eyebrow. “You don’t exactly fit in here,” I pinpointed as I tasted the bitter drink which did not suit my preferences.

“Not as much as you,” Jungkook challenged, and I rolled my eyes at his hesitation to disclose any information about him. Either he was very secretive by nature, or he was hiding something, and I wasn’t going to be one of his victims if he was plotting something vicious.

“I am an archeologist,” I started, thinking how much I could tell him without risking anything. I was alone in a foreign country, I had to be cautious. “And I’m staying in Casablanca for one night before I join my crew in Algeria,” I added, hoping my deception was believable. “And what about you?”

Jungkook turned to me so I could have a better look on his sun-kissed skin, doe and innocent eyes, veiny forearms, muscular arms, his messy brown hair, and his toned chest which I could admire because of the deep neckline of his shirt. He sat there, effortlessly looking like a cover model, and his attention was entirely on me.

It was weird. I had to travel across the world to be noticed by a handsome male, while in my hometown guys drooled over girls with overdrawn eyebrows when I was literally there, waiting to be hit on.

Outrageous!

“I’m a freelance writer.” Jungkook easily answered, and I wondered why he didn’t want to admit that in the first place. He was just a stranger; I had no reason to not believe him. People would do much more than lying if that meant they could get laid. “You know… guidebooks and sometimes articles in travel magazines. And sometimes, I help people around the town.”

“That’s interesting; tell me more,” I urged him, sipping my drink. I had nothing better to do, so I might as well listen to his story. Apparently, Jungkook had traveled much more than I had, so he must’ve had a few stories to share. Also, his experience could be useful.

“What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear Casablanca?” Jungkook inquired, and I hummed, thinking about my answer. When I didn’t speak after a few seconds, Jungkook cleared his throat, “a lot of people associate Casablanca with that 1944 movie under the same title, and therefore – love. And currently, I write a guidebook, or maybe even an actual novel about different forms of love here. It may be something cliché-ridden like a newly-wedded couple making out on the beach, or something simple like a florist who gives flowers to beautiful girls free of charge. And frankly, I think Casablanca is more romantic than Paris.”

“Paris is so overrated,” I commented, nodding my head, as I agreed with him. Although I had never been to Paris, I had heard tales. Perhaps, I haven’t explored Casablanca the way the city deserves it, but I could tell it gave off that dreamy vibe.

“And what are you going to dig up, huh?” Jungkook casually asked as he whistled at the bartender, wanting a refill. Of course, he was curious. How could he be not?

“Are you seriously interested?” I questioned, and Jungkook eagerly nodded, smiling at me encouragingly. “Well… you are the first person who is excited to hear about me digging up pots.” I joked, and Jungkook chuckled at me almost lovingly. The Casablanca’s atmosphere must’ve got to him. “Have you ever heard about Aminata?” Jungkook shook his head.

“Is it something to eat?” He guessed, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

“No, Jungkook, it’s not food,” I clarified before I told him the legend purposefully missing, changing or adding minor details out of pure paranoia. I was being mistrustful, but it was my once-in-a-lifetime chance, and I couldn’t hand it over to a random guy in a hotel’s bar. My dignity wouldn’t allow me to come back home without it, and no matter how ridiculously good-looking Jungkook was, I wasn’t going to get distracted.

“Wow,” he said, impressed, “it’s tragic. Romantic, but tragic.”

“I guess.”

“Are you really going to find it?” Jungkook asked, and I firmly nodded. I would find that bloody necklace, or I’d die trying. “There’s one more question I want to ask; what made you want to become an archeologist? As far as I know, it’s a rare profession.”

“I suppose I’ve Indiana Jones one time too many,” I answered, and Jungkook laughed genuinely, and without any doubt, it was the most adorable sound I had heard in a long time.

“You really are something, aren’t you?” Jungkook challenged, and I shrugged shyly. I could feel his intense stare, and it made me feel weak. His huge eyes were looking into mine; his smile was wide and bright. “It’s so easy to talk to you. I could talk to you all night long.”

“Likewise,” I said shamelessly, finishing my drink, feeling quite buzzed.

“Rahim!” Jungkook hollered at the bartender. “Can we take this bottle to go?” The bartender approached us and placed the half-full bottle of bourbon on the counter.

“Add it to your tab, too?” Rahim asked, and Jungkook simply nodded, grabbing the bottle.

“Come with me, I want to show you something,” Jungkook jumped off the barstool, waiting for me to do the same, and when I was on my feet, he interlaced our fingers together. Quickly, I grabbed my glass, and we left the bar behind us.

“Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see soon enough.”

***

“It’s beautiful,” I said in admiration, as I looked at the pink sky; the sun was about to descend fully, and the colors across the horizon mixed stunningly. “Maybe the hotel doesn’t have many stars, but the view is marvelous,” I added, and Jungkook hummed in agreement.

“It would make a great postcard, wouldn’t it?” Jungkook sighed, and I pulled out my phone to snap a few pictures of the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen. “You know what’s also beautiful?” He asked, staring at me.

“Let me guess,” I muttered, paying him little attention. I was too engrossed in the view in front of me, so I was barely aware of what was going on around me. “Me?” I replied carelessly, as I had a feeling Jungkook was going to say something cheesy.

“Quite conceited, aren’t you?” Jungkook teased, and I blinked, realizing what I just said. “I wanted to say the lighthouse over there, but I must admit you’re not wrong,” he elaborated as he walked toward me, standing just behind my back.

“Sorry, I just assumed you tried to hit on me again,” I apologized, and Jungkook chuckled.

“I did, but in a less cringe-worthy way,” he agreed, and I turned to look at him; he was so close, and the warmth was emitting from his body made me question what was hotter – the weather itself or just he. “You ruined the mood, but are you at least a bit swooned?”

“Not really,” I answered honestly since my previous response was quite excruciating. “But I’m really into you so I wouldn’t really mind if you wanted to show me your room,” I added boldly, and Jungkook smirked, turning slightly, so his side was brushing against me.

“I hope you wouldn’t mind a little teaser,” I smiled, and Jungkook leaned forward to press a cautious kiss against my lips. As if tasting the waters, he gently nipped my lips, and when I kissed him back, he relaxed, moving against my mouth more courageously.

When he slowly pulled away and looked me in the eyes, I licked my lips before I said, “This won’t do; I need more.” Jungkook smirked mischievously, happy that I was thinking the same thing he did. There was no need to play dumb; I wanted him, and Jungkook wanted me, so it was pointless to play hard to get. Tomorrow, I was going to start my journey, and right now, Jungkook looked at me as if he wanted to devour me; a promise of unforgettable night glistened in his beautiful eyes, and I’d be a complete idiot if I rejected him. “Much more.”

I hadn’t been fucked properly for way too long, and now, I was going to have my brains fucked out. It was going to be the best lay of my life, so in case it would be my last, I definitely wasn't to regret it.

“Fuck yes,” Jungkook hollered cheerfully, as he cupped my face, and once again kissed me, making my legs shake under my weight. He was passionate and energetic, and that combination really got to my head; it was what I needed to ease the stress which had been accumulating in my body ever since I had decided to find the Aminata’s necklace.

“I’m not gonna put up a show here,” I warned him when his hand slid under my blouse. I had no problem with his touch; quite contrary, I’d urge him to caress my skin if he didn’t do it by now, but letting other people see me writhing under his ministrations? Never.

“There’s nothing you should be embarrassed about,” Jungkook said, gawking at me as if I was a piece of meat. “You’re gorgeous,” he added, leaning down to suck on my neck, while his palm still roamed around my stomach, upwards to my breasts.

“Still,” I whispered, as I closed my eyes, “I want you to be only one seeing me like this,” I continued, telling him that tonight, I belonged to him only. “But I hope everyone will hear me screaming your name when you make me come.”

“You know how to get me in the mood,” Jungkook admitted, and I smirked, as a sudden wave of confidence washed through me. Usually, I’d never do that, but the atmosphere and the circumstances and Jungkook made me act without putting much thought into my actions. Right now, I was bold and determined to have the night of my dreams with a stranger, and I couldn’t care any less about the consequences. None of it mattered anyway.

“Jungkook,” I moaned when his large hand massaged the inner side of my thigh. Instinctively, I pressed my legs together, squeezing his wandering palm before he touched my cotton panties. “Not here,” I purred when his mouth kissed my neck and throat, nipping gently.

“Let me, at least, eat you out here,” Jungkook whispered into my ear, as he pinched my thigh, making me spread my legs a little. “I promise, no one will see you,” he added, as his right hand traveled up to my panties, tugging it playfully.

I had no idea what got into me, but the idea of Jungkook on his knees right now, eating me out was more than arousing. With his head under my skirt and between my legs, with his tongue on my clit, with his fingers up my pussy; just thinking about it made me dizzy. I’d probably faint if he started his ministrations.

“What do you say?” Jungkook purred against my skin, while his hand was teasing me by pulling on the hem of my panties. “Agree, I know you want to,” he continued, gently rubbing his nose against my neck.

“Yes,” I mumbled so quietly I thought he might’ve not heard me. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was pressed tightly against me, I’d probably have to repeat myself, losing the last bit of my composure. I barely knew Jungkook, yet I’d bend however he told me to; it only took a snap of his fingers, and I’d fulfill his every wish regardless of how freaky it could be.

“Fuck yes,” Jungkook breathed out and pulled down my panties in one fluid motion, his large hand grazing my skin. Instinctively, I raised my right leg and then left one, helping him to get rid of my undergarment – which in a matter of seconds was pushed into his pocket.

“Jungkook,” I moaned his name when he rubbed his erection against me, turning me on even more. I hadn’t felt this hot in months, and he barely touched me. If he was going to keep up the pace, I would explode before we’d reach his room.

“What is it, baby?” Jungkook asked innocently, teasing me, evidently trying to strip me of the remains of my dignity. He heard me, but I had a hunch he wanted to hear me beg. “That’s right, that’s my name,” he spoke in a low voice; his hands cupped my butt, squeezing it.

“You like teasing, don’t you?” I inquired, hoping to sound less affected than I was; my voice would break in an embarrassing stutter, but my articulation was the last thing Jungkook paid attention to. “Just eat me out already!” I cried out, frustrated with his ministrations.

“Teasing? Only you,” he mocked. “And for someone so reluctant about being eaten out here, you seem very eager now,” Jungkook continued to provoke me, his finger finally touching my clit, making me gasp at the sudden sparkle of pleasure. Because of the lack of attention to my sensitive bundle of nerves, the slightest of his touches was setting me on fire.

“P-please,” I begged as I shut my eyes close, feeling my knees give up under his compelling touch. “Jungkook, please, just do it,” I carried on, as I yanked him closer by his belt, moaning when his prominent erection rubbed against me.

“Spread those beautiful legs for me, baby,” Jungkook commanded, playfully slapping the inner side of my thigh, and I obeyed without thinking. Holding my breath, I leaned against the concrete railing. With a smug smirk on his face, I watched Jungkook got on his knees in front of me, getting lost in my wild fantasies when he lustfully licked his lips.

“Oh, God,” I breathed out when Jungkook pressed his mouth against my clit, kissing it so sensually. “Mm…” I huffed in pleasure, as Jungkook sucked on my clit, sending me into overdrive so quickly. His hands were on my butt, pulling me closer, his nose was grazing against my pubic mound, his tongue licking my folds.

I was panting; I gave myself all to Jungkook, letting him do everything he wanted, and I loved writhing under his will. I hadn’t felt this good in weeks, or maybe even months, but damn; I was floating over the cloud nine because of his touch.

“I love how you respond,” Jungkook muttered, as he pulled away from me. I was so sensitive, and when Jungkook gently tugged on my clit, I just kept pressing myself against him, desperate to feel more.

“Keep going, Jungkook,” I moaned, licking my lips. “Fuck me with your fingers,” I voiced quietly, hoping he would consider my humble request. His tongue felt divine, the way it flicked against my folds sent shivers down my spine, the way it swirled around my clit made my toes curl, but it wasn’t enough. “I need more.”

“You’re so needy,” Jungkook chimed in, as he pulled away and looked into my eyes. His chin was glistening with my juices, and his lips were swollen from all the work he had done, and he looked incredible. He was handsome, but right now, he looked like a deity. “How much do you want my fingers? Would you fuck yourself on them?”

“Yes! I’ll do anything you tell me to,” I answered obediently, afraid that he’d stop unless I gave him a definite reply quickly. “Please, Jungkook, I was so close,” I begged, and Jungkook generously complied with my plea. “Oh, yes,” I gasped when he inserted his middle finger in my drenching pussy.

“Tell me how much you love it,” Jungkook urged, and I moaned my gratitude, but words were incomprehensible, and I hoped that my attempts to praise him would suffice. “I made you feel so good that you can’t even speak; damn, you love my fingers,” he teased, adding another finger, curling it inside of me, almost throwing off the edge.

“Yes!” I hollered between my shallow breaths, all tensed, sensing my orgasm approaching. Just the way Jungkook had suspected it, I rocked my hips against his hand, needing his fingers deeper inside of me. “Yes, yes, yes. Jungkook, don’t stop!” I screamed, not bothering who might’ve heard me. At the moment, I only cared about Jungkook and my impending high.

“That’s right, squeeze around my fingers,” Jungkook egged me on, though I’d do it without his encouragement; he agitated fire in my veins, and when he started to suck on my clit again, I reached the moment of explosion. With the final thrust, my blood burnt, my vision blazed white, my throat growled his name, and my body thawed out falling straight into his arms.

“Jungkook–“

“Look at the mess you’ve made,” Jungkook stood up, showing me his hand all covered in my juices. “You look so blown away,” he added, staring into my eyes, as he licked his fingers clean. “So fucked out,” Jungkook pointed out, planting a peck in the corner of my lips.

“Well… yeah… you’ve got very skillful fingers,” I spoke, wrapping my hand in his; it was still a bit sticky, but we were also covered in sweat, so I didn’t care about it that much. “Thank you so much, I really needed that.”

“Don’t thank me now, you’ll thank me later when you feel my cock,” he corrected me, as he looked down at our interlocked hands, giving it a light squeeze. “My room or yours?” With a twinkle in his eyes, he asked directly, and I smiled, refraining myself from throwing myself into his arms, so he could take me to his chamber and fuck me all night long.

“The one which is closer,” I eagerly answered when I bit my bottom lip, looking at his erection, still cramped in his trousers. “You’ve been so hard for so long, your dick is gonna fall off,” I retorted cheekily, and Jungkook smirked at me.

“We could always finish up here,” he egged on, but I firmly shook my head; it was enough of exhibitionism for today. For maybe months, even. “Whatever you say, but sex under the starry sky? Mind-blow-ing,” Jungkook stated, articulating each syllable, but he might’ve as well spelled it out for me, yet it still wouldn’t change my mind. I’d rather have him in the sheets. “You have no idea what you’re missing out on.”

“Maybe some other time,” I said vaguely, running my hands across his chest, entwining my fingers behind his neck. “Indoor sex can be mind-blowing, too,” I added, staring at his swollen lips when I licked mine.

“Oh, yes,” Jungkook breathed out, quickly throwing his hands on my butt, hoisting me up. “Hold on,” he said when I wrapped my legs around his waist, “let’s not forget about the booze,” he added, as he turned around, letting me grab the bottle and the glasses before we forgot about it. “I bet sex with you is always amazing. You got the prettiest cunt I’ve ever tasted,” Jungkook whispered, and his words affected me much more than I would’ve guessed.

“Oh, Jungkook,” I murmured against his skin, nipping on his neck teasingly, and since Jungkook didn’t seem to mind my ministrations, I continued to suck the hickey while he was walking down the stairs. “I want to feel you inside of me,” I purred into his ear, and Jungkook immediately stopped in his track, pressing me against the wall quite aggressively.

“You do tend to speak carelessly,” he whispered, his voice giving me chills. “I barely control myself around you,” he added, playfully nipping my earlobe. Jungkook was sensual, and I was incredibly close to letting him fuck me right here in this shabby corridor. “If you keep talking like that I may not be able to hold myself back any longer.”

“I will make it up to you, I promise,” I muttered before I smashed my lips against his in another hungry kiss. “I will suck your cock dry if you want me to,” I added, and Jungkook began the walk to his bedroom.

“I want this and much more,” Jungkook mischievously added when we reached his room.

Quickly, Jungkook opened his room and let me enter it first, acting like a real gentleman.

When Jungkook was closing the doors behind us, I placed the alcohol on the cabinet. Then, I took my shoes off and looked around, wanting to study the interior, silently judging if his room looked fancier than mine. Unfortunately, the moment I started my thorough analysis, Jungkook wrapped his hand around my wrist, swiftly turned me around and yanked me against his muscular body.

My eyes gazed into his, instantly seeing the pure desire in them. Jungkook had already made me come, and now, he deserved to reach his orgasm too.

“Come here,” he muttered, and I, as if I were under his spell, wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him slowly. His bottom lip felt incredibly soft between mine. Quickly, his hands found a purchase on my hips, as he pulled me closer, and I deepened our kiss. “I don’t think I’ll ever have enough of you. You drive me crazy,” Jungkook confessed, and I moaned feeling the same; with each move of his lips, I felt thirstier and thirstier.

Slowly, my hands roamed across his shoulders, down his chest until they reached the buckle of his belt. Biting my bottom lip, I undid it along with the button of his trousers.

“Can you do it any slower?” Jungkook asked in mock anger, impatient with my ministrations. “You’re killing me, sweetheart,” he added, and I smiled when I realized how he called me. I had never been a fan of pet names, but when one rolled of Jungkook’s tongue, it genuinely made me feel wanted and adored even though I was just about to kneel and suck his cock. “Please, have mercy.”

Having pulled his zipper down, I pushed his trousers down his muscular thighs, leaving him only in his deep-cut shirt and a pair of boxers. The bulge was impressive, and I unconsciously licked my lips, admiring the view in front of me.

Enthusiastically, I got on my knees, pulling his boxers down, making his erection spring out of its restraint right in front of my face. “Oh my,” I started, but I didn’t know how to finish my thought. I really wanted to suck his cock and make him come either down my throat or on my face or whatever he wanted to.

“You know what to do sweetheart,” Jungkook said, as he grabbed his cock and gave it a few lazy strokes. Damn, it was hot. His veiny hand was moving smoothly up and down his length, as he stared down at me, waiting for me to take care of him.

Gently, I put my hand over his. “Let me,” I whispered, and Jungkook took his hand away, allowing me to touch him. His cock was throbbing in my hand, as I stroked him carefully, feeling the slight curve of his erection and prominent veins.

“That’s right,” Jungkook sighed, kicking his head backward, giving into the pleasure I was giving me. “Spit on my cock,” he instructed, and I followed his order, quickly smearing my saliva over his length, mixing it with a bit of the precum. His cock was slick, and my hand moved quickly, making him grunt in enjoyment.

Shortly after, I leaned forward and started to suck on the tip of cock while still running my hand up and down his erection. Jungkook thrust his hips slightly and hissed when he felt the tip of my tongue on his cock.

“Oh God, yes,” he praised, and I hummed, glad that he enjoyed my ministrations. “Yeah, suck me off, just like that,” he grunted, as he shut his eyes close, giving completely into the pleasure. Eagerly, I hollowed my cheeks, taking more and more of him, resting my hands on his hips. My head bobbed back and forth as I sucked him, my tongue gently pressing on the veiny underside of his cock. “Oh my God,” Jungkook whined in enjoyment when I squeezed his balls with one of my hands.

“Do you like what I’m doing to you?” I asked as I pulled out with a pop. “Are you going to come?” I asked innocently, still playing with his balls. Jungkook looked down at me, but I just smirked, leaning down, pressing my tongue against the tip of his cock, licking it down to its base along a large vein. “You are close, aren’t you?” I teased, chuckling when Jungkook’s cock started to twitch in my palms.

“You won’t be smirking when I am done with you,” Jungkook warned me, but I only giggled to his threat. If he was going to fuck me into oblivion, I’d gladly take that punishment. “No one has ever fucked you like I’m about to,” he added, and I only hoped he wasn’t all talk and no action.

“Can’t wait,” I muttered before I once again put his cock into my mouth, sucking him off eagerly. Jungkook, on the other hand, decided to take control of the situation. Gently, he grabbed my hair and wrapped it around his hand as he wanted to give me his rhythm.

“Will you be a good girl and let me come in your mouth?” Jungkook asked, and though I had never let men finish on my tongue, I couldn’t bring myself to decline him. Jungkook woke up my inner most-hidden desires, and right now, I would let him do anything. Even if he wanted me to swallow his cum, I would do it with pleasure. With him, I felt like a sex goddess, and I was eager to cross all of my past boundaries.

Tonight, I had no inhibitions.

It could be my last time having sex, and I was going to make the most of it.

Jungkook was on the verge of coming, and I felt needy too, so my hand reached down to rub my clit. He had given me one orgasm, but I was ready for more.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked as he pulled my hair, staring at me touching myself. “Stop it. Only I can touch this pussy,” he added authoritatively, and I quickly stopped since I didn’t want to upset him. Although it was difficult to resist this temptation, I had a feeling that Jungkook would reward my obedience.

Biting his bottom lip, Jungkook closed his eyes before he began thrusting his cock in and out of my mouth. His hips quickly snapped, but he didn’t push it beyond my limits. Though he was a little upset about my urgency, he respected my boundaries and didn’t force his cock, so it didn't become unpleasant to me. His thick cock gagged me a little, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Jungkook breathed out when he pulled out. “Open your mouth, sweetheart,” he urged me, and I instantly complied with his order, being too enchanted by his quiet grunts. I have always thought that men moans were the hottest thing a man could do during sex, and Jungkook only proved me right now.

With a throaty groan of my name, Jungkook came, milking my tongue with his massive load. His hand moved across his shaft quickly throughout his orgasm, and I moaned when I felt the taste of his cum in my mouth.

“Are you going to be a good girl and swallow it?” Jungkook asked me in between his shallow breaths, and I obediently nodded my head, fulfilling his request. “That was so hot,” he added, as he stretched his hand for me to take it, so he could help me stand up from my knees.

“Everything you do is hot too,” I honestly said, “and I am really needy,” I added innocently, smiling at him, slowly unbuttoning the last piece of clothing which he had on.

“Once I fuck you, you’ll never get enough of me,” Jungkook muttered when I slid my hands under the silk material of his shirt, slowly pushing it off his shoulders. “Why don’t you put up a little show for me? You’ve got so many clothes on,” Jungkook started as he lazily moved towards the bed.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” I teased, pushing him backward, so he stumbled on the bed, staring at me as if he were an addict and I was a sweet dose of drugs. “Sit back and enjoy,” I said, having no idea how the hell he made me so confident.

Putting attention to every detail, I started to unbutton my shirt, doing it agonizingly slowly. Jungkook enjoyed my performance; I was teasing him, but I could tell he liked every second of it. When my shirt hung freely over my shoulders, Jungkook leaned back, propping his body on his elbows.

“You’re killing me. I’m gonna be hard again, and you haven’t even taken your shirt off,” Jungkook complained, but I only giggled, glad that my show was affecting him that much.

Smirking at him, I pushed my shirt off my shoulders, letting him admire my body clad only in a simple bra and a skirt. His eyes studied my appearance, and I didn’t need any other validation that I looked stunning.

“Do you mind bringing me a drink?” Jungkook requested politely, and I gladly poured us drinks even though the alcohol didn’t particularly fit my preferences. With two glasses of clear whiskey, I approached him and handed him one. “To your success,” he whispered before he clinked his glass against mine and drank the half of the liquor.

Sitting on his rock-hard thighs, I reached behind my back to unhook my bra. As if enchanted, Jungkook sat up, staring in admiration at my breasts. Quickly, he placed his glass on the floor beside the bed, desperate to touch me. In an instant, I felt his large hands on my sides, slowly riding up to my bare breasts.

Jungkook started to kiss the curve of my neck, and I kicked my head backward, giving him more access to my skin. His thumbs gently played with my nipples while his lips covered my collarbones with kisses, and his tender ministrations made me buckle my hips against his flaccid cock.

“Jungkook,” I moaned quietly, and Jungkook’s mouth turned into a wide smile. He was very pleased with himself whenever I reacted to his touches. “Why don’t you lie down?” I asked him, pushing him onto the mattress before he managed to reply.

“Why don’t you hump me until I’m hard again to fuck you?” Jungkook said, correctly seeing through my intentions. “Or maybe you think you could get yourself off against me?”

“I’d rather feel your cock inside of me, but if you can’t pop another hard-on, I guess you’ll leave me no choice but satiate my needs with dry-humping you,” I teased him before I leaned forward to shut him up with a kiss. I’ve had enough of talking; I wanted another orgasm to wash through me. Besides, I was sure Jungkook wouldn’t mind another one, too.

“Baby,” Jungkook moaned the moment I started to rub my drenching pussy against his limp cock. “It feels too good,” he added, but once again I shut him up with a passionate kiss. My tongue danced with his in imperfect sync, his hands roamed all over my hips and thighs, while I rocked myself against his half-erect dick.

“Oh fuck,” I cursed when Jungkook cupped my breasts and pinched my hard nipples. “Oh my God, yes, Jungkook, yes!” I shouted, rubbing myself against him way harder. It felt good, and that stimulation almost made me reach my high.

“You’re a real freak in the sheets,” Jungkook commented, amused by his remark. “You really need my cock, don’t you?” He inquired, as he stared at my desperate moves against his length. “Let me take care of you, okay?” He asked, and mirroring my previous bossy mannerism, he didn’t wait for my reply, but he just pushed me onto the mattress and got on top of me, his hard cock poking my folds.

“Jungkook, please, fuck me with your cock already,” I urged him, but Jungkook only smirked before he grabbed his thick length and with its tip slapped my drenching pussy, making me choke on a throaty moan. The sensation was erratic, and though he didn’t penetrate me, I felt another wave of warmth surge through my body.

“How can I say no when you’re asking so nicely,” Jungkook whispered, and I buckled my hips against his erection. Though I was desperately whining for his touch, I wasn’t ashamed of my words. We both had needs which we were going to deliver to each other.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, Jungkook, oh my god,” I breathed out when Jungkook slowly eased himself in, stretching out my walls. “It feels so, so good,” I added, raising my hips off the mattress, only to have them pinned back to the bed by his strong hands.

“Lie still,” Jungkook commanded, and though I felt tempted to roll on top of him and ride him, I decided to follow his order. Despite looking my age, Jungkook perfectly knew how to please a woman, and I was going to let him take care of me.

Staring into my eyes, Jungkook pushed his length inside of me. Trying my best not to react, I bit my bottom lip, waiting for Jungkook to make another move. Gently, he massaged my thighs before he slowly wrapped them around his hips.

“Good girl,” he murmured, sending me a mischievous smirk which could only mean trouble. Before I managed to reply, Jungkook started to slam his fat cock in and out of me, making me a whining mess beneath him.

Sweat was rolling down his forehead and chest, and I couldn’t help myself but admire the wild beast which fucked me senseless. Though he only started, and I was nowhere near the orgasm, I felt tiny sparks of electricity erupting in every cell of my body. His pounding was incredibly pleasurable, and I knew the orgasm would be bone-crushing.

The bed creaked in the rhythm of Jungkook’s thrusts and my moans. The sounds of our bodies colliding and Jungkook’s quiet breaths rang in my ears made me close my eyes and grip on the sheets, completely giving myself into the pleasure.

After a while, Jungkook’s tempo slowed down, but I couldn’t complain when he was pounding his cock inside of me and rubbing my clit simultaneously.

“Tell me when you’re close,” Jungkook grunted, and I obediently nodded my head.

Jungkook was falling out of his rhythm when I was near my orgasm. My walls started to tighten around his cock, and I moaned his name. “Jungkook, I’m…” I started, my voice breaking, since I was feeling too good to sound comprehensive. “I’m gonna come.”

The moment when I was panting, when my blood was boiling, when I was about to explode, Jungkook stopped. With a smug smirk on his face, he pulled out, denying my second orgasm.

“That’s not cool,” I said, starting to giggle. This situation was ridiculous.

“You have to trust me,” Jungkook whispered, as he massaged my thigh gently. I wanted to purr, but before I managed to produce a sound, Jungkook suddenly turned me around, making me lie on my stomach. “Butt up, sweetheart,” he ordered in a seductive voice, and I instantly obeyed his command.

On my fours, I waited for his touch. Carefully, he traced the tips of his fingers across my thighs up to my butt. Then, taking me aback, Jungkook slapped my butt. Though it didn’t hurt me, it left a pleasant stinging sensation.

“You like that, don’t you?” Jungkook purred into my ear when he pushed his cock inside of me from behind and leaned against my back. “Admit that no one has ever fucked you the way I’m doing it now,” he whispered while pounding in and out of me.

“Jungkook, yes, yes,” I breathed out, gripping the sheets when I slowly neared the bliss. “You’re the best I’ve ever had,” I moaned, craning my neck as I needed to kiss him.

“That’s right,” Jungkook let out a throaty moan, making me shiver. His body was making me feel amazing, but his raspy voice was going to be the death of me. By far, it was the sexiest sound which had ever rung in my ears.

“Jungkook, can I ride you?” I asked quickly, as I thought about sitting on his muscular thighs, sliding up and down his pulsating cock.

“Fuck yes,” he eagerly answered before he pulled out and sat up, leaning his back against the headrest. “Come on, jump on it,” Jungkook urged me, and I, with a mischievous smirk on my face, I sat astride him.

“I’m really frustrated,” I truthfully said as I looked into his eyes and entwined my fingers behind his neck. “No more playing dirty,” I added when I started to move my hips, rubbing my drenching slit against his veiny cock.

Jungkook’s grip on my hips tightened slightly. “Jump. On. It.” Jungkook gritted through his teeth, sounding quite angry.  He was just as impatient, and I, obeying his order, sat down on his cock. “Mm… Good girl,” he whispered before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine.

His kiss was passionate, and it felt as if our lips molded together. His hands held my hips, giving me guidance, helping me set the right tempo. God, it felt like heaven.

“I’m coming,” I moaned, as I increased my pace, giving him no chance to deny me of another orgasm. I’d die if he stopped me again from reaching the blissful high.

“I’m close, too,” Jungkook genuinely admitted before he captured my lips again. My walls were squeezing around his throbbing cock as I entirely gave in to my instincts. I moved up and down his erection until I felt an explosion of pleasure rip me apart.

Jungkook came a few seconds after me, growling my name as he milked my walls with his cum. All covered in sweat, Jungkook looked at me, and I just started to giggle.

“It was…”

***

According to the analog clock on the desk in the corner of Jungkook’s room, it was five o’clock. Jungkook was lying on the bed beside me, breathing soundly, and for a brief moment, I marveled his gorgeous looks; his muscular body, his soft hair and his sun-kissed skin with a variety of love marks I had given him when he had been pushing all the right buttons. Damn it; even his eyelashes were beautiful, casting shadow on his cheeks.

No matter how much I fancied having another round in the morning, I had to leave; I am a woman on a mission, and now, when the night was over, I had to return to my priorities. The fling with Jungkook was unforgettable, but I had to flee his chamber.

My legs were sore, but strangely I felt energized; almost as if I had slept for twelve hours, not two. It must’ve been the hormones.

In haste, I collected my clothes, carelessly putting it back on my body. From time to time, I’d peek at Jungkook, yet every time when my eyes landed on his frame, he was sleeping soundly, as if it was the first time in years he had such a calm slumber.

Sighing at the beautiful sight in front of me, I turned around and left.

***

As soon as I stepped into my room, I undressed and headed to the bathroom, desperately needing a shower. I was sticky with sweat and my and Jungkook’s arousals, and I just had to clean myself.

Quickly, I turned on the tap, letting the water spill on the yellowish tiles. “Mm… he was so good,” I daydreamt, thinking of the night escapade with Jungkook, and how he made me feel. He was just a mere stranger, but none of my previous lovers had satisfied me even half as good. Too bad we would never meet again; I’ll be on my way before he’d even wake up.

“Get a grip,” I spoke to myself, hating how much he was distracting me although I had met him less than ten hours ago. Yes, the sex was mind-blowing. Yes, we had gone a few rounds. Yes, it was by far the best sex of my life. It felt like heaven, but I have a goal. I needed to stay focused, so regardless of how many pictures of him my mind would project, of how his deep voice echoed in my subconsciousness, of how I still felt his touch on my flesh, I had to figure out how I’d get to Senegal.

After what it felt like an hour, I stepped out of the shower with a towel tightly wrapped around my body. I was to spend maybe a few days in the wilderness, so instead of wearing my typical clothing, which consisted of a button down shirt with rolled up sleeves and a skirt, I put on one set of specially bought clothes.

Three days before the flight, I had purchased a pair of waterproof trekking boots, a few sets of bamboo organic cotton underwear, and of course, T-shirts and shorts made out of breathable fabric. I was prepared for heat, for flood, and any other climate anomaly in that region. I had even got vaccinated for exotic bugs, insects and other viruses.

When my phone was getting charged to the fullest, I threw everything out of my suitcase and packed the necessities into a huge backpack. I had nutritious food, a special bottle to filter water, ropes, and other archeology gear which I’d need to get into the tomb.

By seven o’clock, I was ready to leave. Nervously, I adjusted my backpack’s straps, and with my head high, I left my room and headed to the reception desk to check out. The receptionist was a bit startled by the change in my appearance, but he didn’t say anything; probably because he couldn’t formulate his commentary within his narrow range of English vocabulary.

“I can’t believe you didn’t say goodbye,” I heard a familiar voice the second I stepped out of the hotel. Instantly, I turned around and saw Jungkook, in a fresh set of clothes, leaning against the wall, munching on an apple. “You didn’t leave a note, either.”

“Sorry,” I said nervously, not sure how to talk to him. We were never supposed to meet again, yet there he was, apparently waiting for me. “Why are you up so early?” Folding my arms across my chest, I asked. He had never told me he had a reason to get up so early in the morning.

“I don’t sleep alone very well,” he added, as he pushed himself off the wall, and threw the half-eaten apple on the ground.

“Then I hope tonight someone will keep you company until you’re well rested,” I said politely, giving him a wide smile, hoping he’d get the clue that I didn’t have time to chat with him now. I really wished him well; I couldn’t stay any longer, and I didn’t want him to get lonely. “And if you excuse me, I have a bus which I need to catch.”

“How can you be so cold to me?” Jungkook asked, and I sighed, regretting that I had stopped when I had heard his voice. I should’ve ignored him then; I should’ve pretended not to hear him. “And why are you in such a rush? We could have breakfast together–“

“I’ve already eaten, sorry,” I interjected before he’d lure me back to the hotel with his handsome looks and tantalizing stare. “And yeah, I’m in a hurry, so have a nice day, but I gotta go,” I added with a smile, turning on my heel so I wouldn’t have to look into his eyes.

“But you have to try some of the Moroccan dishes before you leave,” Jungkook concluded, but I wasn’t having this. Yes, it could be delicious, but I really had more important stuff which had to be dealt with immediately. I couldn’t afford to get stalled and/or distracted.

“Your proposition is tempting, like really tempting, but I just can’t,” I spoke, trying to sound as genuine as I could. I didn’t want to be rude, but in my life were plenty of things which were more important than man’s companionship. Jungkook was amazing, but right now, my work was my priority. “I’m sorry, Jungkook,” I added quietly, before I turned around on my heel, and started to walk away.

“That’s too bad,” Jungkook added, “but have I ever mentioned that I have a chopper?” When I heard him, I immediately stopped in my track. I didn’t have to face him to know that this bastard was smugly smirking. “It’s not healthy to start a journey on an empty stomach. Please, have breakfast with me, and I’ll give you a lift to wherever you meet your crew.”

I must’ve gone crazy to actually consider Jungkook’s proposition. I didn’t know anything about him; how could I even think about accepting his ridiculous offering? Especially when there was no crew waiting for me anywhere, and I was headed in the opposite direction to what I had told him. It wasn’t a good idea to involve him, even though he could prove himself incredibly useful. Owning a chopper, for example.

“You lie, you wouldn’t be staying in this hotel if you could afford a chopper,” I concluded, still hesitant to his offering. It didn’t make any sense.

“Here’s where you’re wrong,” Jungkook said with a mischievous smirk upon his face. “You see, I’m supposed to write about regular people, and if I stayed in a fancy-ass hotel, who could I write about? Probably, some rich assholes who came here with their side-chicks to cheat on their wives. And I got my chopper from my super-rich sponsor who apparently loves my feuilletons.” Jungkook explained, and even if he lied, his reasoning made sense.

“Fine, I guess I could find an hour to have something to eat,” I gave up, and Jungkook smiled radiantly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders when he approached me. “Okay, Jungkook, lead the way,” I urged him, but Jungkook only beamed, guiding me to his favorite restaurant.

The restaurant wasn’t anything fancy, but I liked its homely atmosphere. Taking the table next to the window, Jungkook waved at the waitress, as he was ready to order without looking at the menu.

The woman smiled at him, and he smiled at her when they shared a conversation in a language I didn’t understand. However, judging by Jungkook’s frequent glances toward my direction, I had a suspicion that he was ordering me food.

Once the women walked away, Jungkook looked at me, and I instantly asked him. “What was this about?” I couldn’t help myself but be curious.

“Nothing, I just ordered some must-tries. We’re leaving Casablanca today, and you just have to try some of the dishes here.” Jungkook explained, and I internally cringed at the pronoun he used. He was just helping me to get from one place to another; he wasn’t my side-kick.

Though it didn’t sit right with me, I didn’t correct him. My bus left a few minutes ago, I couldn’t lash out at him, and then have him nullify our agreement.

“So what have you ordered for me?”

“A little bit of everything, you know,” Jungkook said, looking through the window. “I got you some fruit with yogurt, a plate of Sfenj, and fried eggs with olives. It’s really delicious.”

“I don’t really like eggs, so I guess I’ll enjoy my Sfen-something – whatever that is,” I added, and Jungkook chuckled.

“Sfenj are a type of deep-fried Moroccan fritter,” Jungkook explained, and I nodded my head, thinking it wouldn’t be half bad. “And whether you like it or not, you should eat the eggs, not only they’ll be amazing, but also you need a lot of protein.”

“Ugh, you sound like my father,” I grunted, remembering a dozen fights with my family regarding my eating habits.

“Well… I wouldn’t mind you calling me daddy,” Jungkook said, and I rolled my eyes, glad that the food wasn’t yet served because otherwise some of it would end up on his face. “What? Don’t act so coy. After last night, I know your true colors. You’re a freak.”

“I was just caught in the heat of the moment.” I tried to defend myself, but when I saw another smirk on Jungkook’s face, I knew it had no sense. No matter what I would tell him, it wouldn’t change his opinion about me and my kinks.

As soon as our food was served, we started munching it almost as if we were starved for a few days. Our physical acts must’ve drained us of energy more than anyone of us had thought.

“So… where are we headed?” Jungkook asked when he finished his serving, wiping his mouth with a clean napkin.

“A nameless island west of Ziguinchor, Senegal,” I said, and Jungkook looked the location on his phone, as he was probably unfamiliar with this region. Furrowing his eyebrows, he thought of the best route how to get there. It was difficult itself, but given the fact that the island wasn’t drawn on most of the maps, wasn’t making his task any easier.

“It’s not even on the map,” Jungkook muttered, cocking up his eyebrow, being even more curious than before. It was mysterious, and it definitely piqued his interest. “It’s gonna be difficult, but screw it, let’s do it,” he added happily, as he locked his phone and placed it on the table, giving me his full attention.

“Thanks, Jungkook, I really appreciate your help,” I added before I returned to my breakfast.

“No problem, I was getting bored here anyway,” Jungkook shrugged, sending me another bright beam. “So how about you finish your breakfast, and I’ll go get my stuff. I’ll pay for our meal, and let’s meet outside in ten, okay?”

“Sure.”

 ***

 Within ten minutes Jungkook met me outside. He was carrying a large backpack on his back, and despite his handsome features and a bucket hat on his head, he looked ridiculous.

“Okay, show me your chopper,” I said with a smirk as I couldn’t wait to start the journey. The breakfast with Jungkook was a delight, but I had a pretty tight schedule, and it was about time to get going.

“We have a long journey ahead of us, sweetheart,” Jungkook said, as he showed me the way to his car. “I googled the distance, and we’re gonna be lucky to get there before the nightfall.”

Although we were on a pretty hectic schedule, we managed to board the chopper before 9 o’clock. Jungkook carried our backpacks inside and sat in the pilot’s seat, and I just followed quietly behind him, letting him work in peace.

“You know… you would be an awesome stewardess,” Jungkook said, trying to start a conversation with me for the nth time this day. “With your long legs, and everything else,” he finished his thought, but I was lost for words. I already was an outstanding archeologist, and I didn’t have to have long legs to prove how great I was at it.

“How long is it gonna take?” I questioned, getting a bit impatient. I had been studying Senegalese legends for years, and now, I was near to my first great discovery.

“Why? Do you hate my company so much?” Jungkook teased, and I just rolled my eyes. “If the rest of the flight will be as smooth, we’re gonna be there in an hour or so.”

“That’s good,” I said with a deep sigh before I looked through the window, admiring the calm sea below us. “Thank you, Jungkook. And sorry for being so sour in the morning, I was just anxious.”

“No, it’s okay. I understand; you must be under a lot of pressure,” Jungkook answered with a soft smile, as he looked at me. “Oh shit,” Jungkook cursed, his beam fading away. Quickly, I cocked up my eyebrows, having no clue what caused his sudden change in his behavior.

Still confused, I looked through the window again. I saw another chopper. Why did it make Jungkook freak out a little? What was going on?

“Hold on something,” Jungkook ordered, and I clutched the armrests of my seat.

“What the hell? What is going on?” I asked, but Jungkook didn’t even bother to answer my questions. Instead, he focused on the buttons in front of him, pressing one after another, making the machine soar higher.

“Okay, maybe I wasn’t entirely honest with you,” Jungkook started, and I looked at him in panic. What the fuck he meant by that?! “So, this chopper isn’t technically mine. It’s my friend’s, and he sometimes gets a little bit angry with me when I borrow it without his direct permission,” he explained, but I didn’t trust him wholeheartedly.

He had lied to me once, and he could do it again.

“Don’t worry, though. Namjoon’s harmless,” Jungkook added, trying to calm me down. Unfortunately, the moment I heard his words, the glass of my window cracked after what it seemed a bullet. “Or maybe, I’ve angered him one time too many,” Jungkook smiled sheepishly, as he swerved the chopper around, trying to avoid getting shot again.

“What the fuck?” I screamed, losing my composure. It was supposed to be a peaceful expedition, and right now, someone was aiming a gun at us. That’s not what I signed up for! “Jungkook, do something!”

“Don’t panic; I already see the island,” Jungkook replied, but his statement didn’t calm me down; not when more shots were fired our direction. It was difficult to remain level-headed, I did my best. Of course, everything changed when I felt a sharp pull right before when our chopper started to descend. All kinds of alarms flared red and began ringing, and I was terrified when I realized that we were going to die regardless of how tight I was holding onto my seat. We were doomed.

My heart was beating rapidly, my knuckles were white due to clutching onto my seat, and my eyes were shut. I was too cowardly to face reality when the death was about to swallow us in a few brief moments as soon as the chopper would collide with the surface of the water.

“Come on, we have to jump,” I barely heard Jungkook over my pathetic meltdown. I could comprehend only bits and pieces of his words, but thankfully, Jungkook just grabbed my hand, and yanked me out of my seat, handing me my backpack. “I hope you know how to swim,” Jungkook shouted before he opened the doors and pushed me out of the chopper.

I was in complete shock; one moment I was sure I was going to die, while a few seconds later I screamed my lungs out, waving my hands back and forth as I fell down into the water.

When I regained the remains of my composure, it was already on the narrow beach. I had no idea how long it took me to get to the shore, nor how I managed to swim such a long distance with my pathetic stamina.

Spitting seawater, I threw my backpack on the sand before I lay on the beach, the calm waves washing my feet. I felt terrible, everything hurt me, and I had water in my nose. However, I couldn’t complain, I was still alive after all.

As soon as I calmed down, adjusting myself to my current situation, I looked around, trying to spot Jungkook and our wrecked chopper. Though my sight was still blurry, either because of seawater or my tears, I could see smoke coming from the jungle.

“It was a close one,” Jungkook said as he emerged from the water and lay down next to me, trying to catch his breath after the energy-draining swim.

I was thankful that we were still alive, but when I saw Jungkook beside me, talking so casually about our near death situation, I felt rage wash through me. Before my mind could register what I was doing, I sat astride on him, violently hitting his chest with my fists.

Unfortunately, after what we experienced not that long ago, my punches weren’t as painful as I wished them to be. Without any trouble, Jungkook wrapped his fingers around my wrists, stopping my poor attempt of hurting him.

“Is your friend really harmless?” I asked him, trying not to burst into tears. I didn’t want him to think I was weak. Quite contrary, I thought I was pretty strong. However, because of him, I was caught in a life-threatening situation, and it was natural to feel so confused. “For fuck’s sake, he shot us down! What is going on, Jeon? Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”

“OK, maybe he doesn’t consider us friends, but in my defense, it’s unlike him to behave like that,” Jungkook said, but his explanation didn’t have any value. I still didn’t understand what the point of shooting us down was.

"You're not completely honest with me, Jungkook. This Namjoon guy wouldn't shoot down his own chopper if he was mad at you for taking it. There has to be something more to it. Tell me the truth, and don't you dare lie to me again," I demanded, and Jungkook seemed to be immersed in thought as if considering disclosing the facts to me. Although he was dubious, deep down he knew I deserved to know the truth about his conflict with Namjoon.

“So… I might’ve borrowed some money from him, and technically, I haven’t paid it off yet completely, so maybe that’s why he’s feeling a little bit angry with it.”

“Jungkook, he’s not a little bit angry, this guy almost killed us, he’s livid,” I interjected, being unable to listen to him sugarcoat things. “This is just perfect; a guy almost killed us, the chopper is a wreck, and on top of that, we are on the wrong side of the island. I shouldn’t have agreed to go with you. I felt it in my guts back then; I should’ve listened to my hunch.”

“Don’t be like that, we’ll find a way out of it,” Jungkook said, trying to cheer me up, but I wasn’t having any of that. First of all, there was no we. Secondly, the chopper crashed, so even if we found the necklace, we wouldn’t be able to escape the inhabited island.

“Yeah, of course, you’re right,” I spoke bitterly, being on the verge of hysteria. The situation was ridiculous, and although we survived the crash, we were still trapped on this island. We were alive, but it was only a matter of time. “I have an idea; I’ll go through that jungle and find that necklace. In the meantime, you can stay here on the beach and built a fucking boat for us because as far as I am concerned, there’s no other transport we can use. How about that?” I was mean, but I didn’t care. It was Jungkook’s fault; he should be the one to do the hard labor.

“Well, you don’t have to be a bitch about it,” Jungkook argued back, clenching his jaw. “Besides, I believe you said something about your crew, they’re going to get here sooner or later,” he concluded, and I wanted to slap myself.

“No, Jungkook, you’re wrong, there’s no crew,” I admitted, and Jungkook really started to panic. “I lied to you back then. It’s my solo expedition.”

“OK, so we agree we’re both to blame. Now, we have to come up with a plan,” Jungkook concluded, and with a deep sigh, I agreed. “What are you suggesting?”

“I think we should focus on finding the necklace. Once we have it, we can start thinking of an escape plan,” I suggested, and Jungkook nodded, understanding my logic.

“That sounds like a plan, but I think we should think of a way to spend the night. The sun is about to descend soon, and from what I heard the wilderness can get pretty dangerous at night,” Jungkook voiced, and I hummed in agreement.

For people who had lied to each other so many times, our dynamics were pretty synced.

“What should we do? We can stay here, or find a place to sleep somewhere in the jungle; which would be safer?” I asked him, hoping that he had a good sense of survival. I didn’t want to get eaten by a puma in my sleep, so I really hoped we could rely on Jungkook’s instincts and survival skills.

“I think we should start a fire here, and dry off first,” Jungkook said after a moment of thinking. “I have a sleeping bag in my backpack, but like all the other things inside it, it’s drenched.”

“Okay, let’s do that,” I quickly agreed with him, desperately needing some sort of heat. Naturally, I had pretty low blood pressure, and right now, I was drenched. The blowing wind didn’t help, either. “You know how to do that, right?”

“Of course, who do you take me for?” Jungkook asked me, being slightly offended with my question. “With me, you’re safe.”

Wrapping my hands around my body, I watched Jungkook work. His clothes were sticking to his muscles, and when he was carrying wood, I could admire his masculine beauty. Although Jungkook had a base of a handyman, I would never peg him as one. If anything, I’d sooner consider him to be a cunning ladies man.

“Voilà!” Jungkook exclaimed when successfully prepared the bonfire. “Come here, you must be freezing,” he added, encouraging me to have a seat beside me. Grumbling under my breath, I stood up and approached him, sitting next to him. “Have you brought anything to eat? I gotta admit, I am starving,” Jungkook asked, and I pulled out two energy bars from my backpack.

For a while, we sat in complete silence, basking in the warmth of the bonfire, and it was actually pretty pleasant, given that Jungkook was my company. I had several reasons to complain; he had lied to me and put my life in danger. However, despite all of that, I couldn't bring myself to hate him with every fiber of my body. Because he had proven himself to be useful, I only hated him to some degree.

“Tomorrow, we’re gonna have a nice trek,” Jungkook started, as he looked at me. “Do you have a map or something?”

“No, Jungkook, there’s no map. It has never been discovered; all I have is a handful of very vague clues.” I answered with a sigh. Basically, I was looking for a needle in the haystack. “Also, the clues vary based on different translations.”

“Oh,” was all he said. “Don’t lose your spirit, you will find it, and I’m gonna help you,” he added, and I cracked a faint smile. It was comforting, but I still had a few doubts haunting me.

“Thanks,” I replied, wrapping my arms around myself tighter. “Are our sleeping bags dry yet?” I asked, feeling a bit sleepy. Just like Jungkook had said, we would have a long trek tomorrow, and I wanted to be well-rested.

“I don’t know, you can check if you want,” he said, and I walked up to them.

With a quick, sharp motion, I picked the sleeping bag up, wanting to get rid of the sand. Unfortunately, when I did so, I felt something fell out of the sleeping bag, and it was a fucking snake. The second my eyes spotted the reptile, I shrieked loudly, tossed the sleeping bag aside, and ran up to Jungkook to hide behind his back.

“It’s a fucking snake! Do something!” I shouted at the top of my voice when I looked down to see the snake slowly moving towards us. “Kill it, please,” I begged him, but Jungkook only chuckled, evidently amused by my panicked outburst.

“It doesn’t seem to be venomous,” Jungkook concluded, but I had no trust in his analysis. According to what he had told me, he was a journalist – not a biologist. “It probably wants to warm up,” he added, but I wrapped my hands around his biceps, expecting him to provide me with safety. “Jesus Christ, your hands are cold,” he turned his head to look into my eyes.

“Please,” I cooed, hoping that after what we had survived together, I had an influence on his actions. “Jungkook, please, get rid of it,” I added, and Jungkook seemed to soften under my pleading gaze.

“Ugh, fine,” he spoke before he grabbed a broken branch and walked up to the snake, wanting to pick it up and take it far away from me. “It’s all done, it shouldn’t bother us again,” he explained, but I told him to check the other sleeping bag in case there was another surprise waiting for us. Thankfully, nothing else sought sanctuary in our belongings.

“Is it safe?”

“Yep, it’s absolutely reptile-free,” Jungkook said in a mocking tone, so I smacked his shoulder playfully. “If you’re afraid another snake may creep into your sleeping bag, we can share mine,” Jungkook suggested, and I actually caught myself considering his offer.

“Fine, but it’s not because I’m afraid,” I answered, and Jungkook cocked his eyebrow in curiosity. “I know I will get cold, and you’re like a portable heater, that’s why,” I explained, but it didn’t make his smug smirk disappear.

“It’s fine with me.” Jungkook smiled before he put his sleeping bag on the sand. “Come here,” he urged me, and I quickly obeyed, wanting to warm myself up. A bit too willingly, I snuggled up to Jungkook’s chest, and Jungkook hissed when he felt my cold hands on his skin. “What do you think about a quickie before sleep? I don’t know about you, but I sleep like a baby after a good fuck,” he hinted, placing an inviting kiss on my neck.

“I think I’ll pass,” I answered, turning on the other side. “And FYI, I haven’t forgotten about that I almost got shot because of you.”

“You can’t blame a man for trying to be romantic,” Jungkook said, not taking my rejection personally, but I only snorted. Yeah, it was romantic as fuck. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight, Jeon.”

***

At the crack of dawn, we woke up cuddling. Jungkook’s morning wood was digging into my back, but I couldn’t care any less. I was mad at him, and no matter how many times he would beg me to help him out, I wasn’t going to comply with his humble request. I was still mad at him for what he had put us through.

Having consumed energy bars for breakfast, we packed our things (now thankfully dry) and set off our journey. We had two possibilities; we could walk along the coast, or trek through the jungle. The decision was difficult, but after a brief discussion, we chose the shorter and more dangerous hike through the wilderness. Our food would suffice for two days tops; we didn’t have the time to take the longer route.

“How long do you think we have to walk like that?” Jungkook asked before he cut the bush in front of us with a sharp knife so we could move forward.

“According to the legend, they walked the entire night until they reached the heart of the island. Also, it was either April or May, so the trek took them about five hours.” I explained, trying to remember all the details from my report. I had it saved on my phone, but I didn’t want to stop to get it out of the zip lock bag from the very bottom of my backpack.

“And how long is it gonna take to get there from this side of the island?”

“Probably the entire day,” I answered quietly, focusing on walking and breathing. For someone with my stamina (or the lack of thereof), it was incredibly tiring, and I didn’t want to seem so weak in front of him. I was the captain of this expedition, not a thorn in Jungkook’s side. “Maybe a little less if we find a short-cut.”

“Now, that’s comforting,” Jungkook giggled, and I smiled. We were screwed; it would be a miracle if we found the necklace and made it alive. “So what you want to do when we come back to the civilization?”

“All I want to do is to lie in my bed and binge watch RuPaul’s Drag Race,” I admitted honestly, even though it might’ve sounded silly to Jungkook. “Don’t judge, it’s highly addictive.”

“I’m not judging you,” he chuckled, and I wondered if he was honest with me. “I was just asking what you’re gonna do with your discovery. If the necklace is half as important as you let it on, then I’m pretty sure you’re gonna be a headliner soon.” Jungkook elaborated, and I, being a complete idiot, blushed.

“Oh,” it’s all that left my mouth. I was shocked, for someone who could double-cross me, Jungkook appeared to be suspiciously supportive of my achievement. “Thanks, Jungkook,” I answered quietly still digesting his words. He was right; if I came back home with the necklace, it would definitely bring me lots of fame and wealth. “And what are you gonna do if we make it alive?”

“I’m not sure,” he whispered, thinking of the best way to convey his thought into words. “This journey is an once-in-a-lifetime adventure, so I’ll probably live my life peacefully, sometimes reminiscing how fun it was here with you,” Jungkook explained, and I felt funny. Yes, it was dangerous, but above all, it was incredibly exciting.

“It’s not gonna be as fun when I push in a puma’s claws, so I can run for my life,” I joked, and Jungkook chuckled, reminding me of the night we met; I had been feeling so lighthearted back then. “I’m not joking, though.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Jungkook teased, and I shook my head. We were alone in the middle of the jungle, yet we still could find some energy to bicker playfully. “You’d be scared shitless to move, let alone push me. I saw how you reacted to a harmless snake, trust me, you’re not gonna do shit,” he added, and I smacked his shoulder, acting offended.

“It’s a mistake to underestimate me,” I retorted, but Jungkook didn’t appreciate it. Instead, he only raised his hand, wanting to shush me. Cocking my eyebrow up, I eyed him, a little bit fed up with his superior attitude. “What do you –“ I started, but Jungkook quickly turned around, and cupped my mouth. Confused, I furrowed my eyebrows, looking up at him.

“Shh…” he whispered before he removed his hand from my mouth. “It appears the island isn’t completely deserted,” he commented, and I fixated my eyes on the people on the meadow just a couple meters away from us.

“Who are these people?” I asked him quietly, not expecting him to know the answer. It didn’t make any sense; where the hell did they come from? What kind of shady business were they engaging in here?

“I don’t know… maybe they’re pirates or something,” Jungkook guessed, and I just shrugged, not knowing what to say. It was a possibility. “I think we should get out of here,” he proposed, and I agreed. I didn’t want to get involved with these people; it was for the better if they didn’t know about our presence.

It was reasonable to retreat, but curiosity got the better of me. When Jungkook was cautiously backtracking, I was observing them. It bugged me that I didn’t know the reason why they were here, but when I saw one of the men carrying white packages, I regretted my actions.

They were smuggling drugs, and I was positive that I wanted to stay as far from them as it was possible. They were dangerous. Though I wasn’t entirely convinced, I believed that Namjoon didn't threat as much as they did.

“Are you going or not?” Jungkook whispered, and I immediately nodded my head, walking up to him in a hurry. Unfortunately, I didn’t watch down, so being the idiot I am, I tripped over the roots. “Fuck,” Jungkook cursed when he saw me fall down, face first.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I cursed under my breath when I realized how loud disturbance I caused. The smugglers had to be deaf to ignore such strange noises coming from the bushes. Quickly, I picked myself up and ran after Jungkook.

The men were chasing us, but we had heavy backpacks, so it was just a matter of time until they would catch us. It was just fantastic, we had survived Namjoon’s attack, yet right now, we were going to be killed by some drug smugglers.

My life was just perfect.

And all of that because I wanted to find some jewel.

Mindlessly, I ran after Jungkook. The adrenaline must’ve kicked in because I wasn’t tired at all. Furthermore, my large backpack felt like as light as a feather. In no time, I caught up with Jungkook, sprinting right next to him.

“Jungkook, look,” I said when I saw a large rock with a split in it; it looked like shelter, and we could hide away in there if we were fast enough.

“It looks like a tunnel,” Jungkook noticed when we squeezed into the chink. “Should we go further? It can be a dead end,” Jungkook asked, a bit doubtful about exploring the cave.

“Let’s go further,” I said confidently, “just in case, they find this gap,” I added, knowing it would convince him. These men meant trouble, and we both wanted to never see them again.

Cautiously, I put my backpack on the ground, looking for small LED flashlights, giving Jungkook one.

“Ladies first?” Jungkook asked, and I just shook my head, bravely going further. “Who would’ve thought that we could attract so much trouble,” Jungkook said, trying to kill the pregnant silence. We were walking for the last thirty minutes, and the exit seemed unreachable. “It’s never boring with you, is it?”

“What are you talking about? I can boldly say that you’re responsible for the eighty percent of everything bad that has happened to us,” I said with a playful smile. The only fault in my behavior was not paying attention to where I was going; the rest of our misfortune was caused by him. “Shh… I think I’ve heard something,” I shushed him quickly, sensing upcoming trouble. Perhaps, these men knew this area better. Maybe, they knew all along that we were going to hide in this cave, so they just slowed down their pace, letting us think we’re safe.

“You’re just paranoid,” Jungkook said with a shrug. “They won’t find us here in a million years,” he added jokingly, but it didn’t make me laugh. I was still anxious. “Oh,” Jungkook mused upon noticing something, “check this out,” he prompted me, flashing the light on the wall. “What can it mean?” Jungkook wondered, gawking at the strange letters.

“Jungkook, I think this is it,” I answered, having difficulties with forming words. “I think it’s Aminata’s grave,” I added, wanting to pull out my phone. I had on it copies of the most important documents on her legend as well as I had my notes of their ancient language.

“Can you read it?” Jungkook asked in curiosity, being amazed by my skills, even though I haven’t showcased them yet. “It looks weird; are they even letters?”

“They are,” I confirmed quickly, looking for the right file on my phone, determined to decrypt the message on the wall. “Can you point your flashlight at it?” I asked, and Jungkook swiftly aimed his torch at the wall, fulfilling my request.

“What does it say?”

“Well… it’s hard to translate it literally, but it basically means “who lives by the sword shall die by the sword”. It’s strange; why did they put it here? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Maybe it doesn’t, but it surely gives me chills,” Jungkook said, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. “Should we get back?”

Jungkook must’ve gone nuts if he thought that I’d just give up at the very finishing line. We were by the gate to Aminata’s tomb; there was no way I would just turn around and quit. I hadn’t survived all the misery to come back home empty-handed.

“No, we’re going further,” I said confidently, blowing my fringe off my forehead. “We’re close, I’m feeling it,” I added, and Jungkook sighed in doubt. “You can stay here, but I’m going.” It didn’t matter to me if Jungkook wanted to join me or not. If he didn’t feel like it, he could stay behind.

“Are you insane? I can’t let you go in there alone, I’m coming with,” he quickly said, sending me another boyish smile. Jungkook was truly endearing when he was looking out for me.

“Fine, but if you have a knife or anything that you can use as a weapon, leave it here,” I suggested, and Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What? Didn’t you get the message? Don’t you know it’s better not to mess with curses? Ancient ones in particular.”

“Sure, you’re the boss here,” Jungkook voiced, hesitantly leaving all his weaponry on the ground. “Lead the way.”

Completely weaponless, we explored the cave further. It was risky as hell, but nothing inside the cave could’ve been more dangerous than the drug smugglers looking for us.

Although it felt as if we walked kilometers, I didn’t feel tired. The anticipation and excitement completely took over me, giving me the strength which I needed to fulfill my mission. Unfortunately, I couldn’t say the same thing about Jungkook; he was panting behind me, probably waiting for the tunnel to end.

“Shit, now I think I heard something,” Jungkook whispered, suspicious of strange sounds from within the cave. “It’s not possible, though. How the hell would they find us here?”

Though I didn’t hear anything, I wasn’t going to disregard his suspicion. It seemed highly unlikely, but we had to be prepared for the worst; especially when we were unarmed, lost somewhere in a long, dark tunnel.

“Then we can only pick up the pace, find the necklace, and hope there’s an exit on the other end of its tunnel,” I concluded, but Jungkook didn’t seem very convinced. It was evident that he didn’t fancy my plan, but currently, it was the only idea we had.

Our casual stroll quickly morphed into a swift march; it required plenty of energy, but in the face of danger, it didn’t matter. This procedure had to be done.

“Is it weird that all of this turns me on?” Jungkook commented, once again attempting to lighten up the atmosphere between us. “All I can think of right now is how I want to fuck you when we come back.”

“You better stop that train of thought and focus, Jeon. We have a job to do, please focus,” I scolded him, and Jungkook, with a quiet whine, composed himself. “Really, Jungkook, you can’t keep it in your– aaah” I screamed when I lost my footing, falling into an abyss.

Two-meter deep abyss – still an abyss.

“Shit, are you okay?” Jungkook asked me, now not caring about his volume. If someone were actually on our tail, there was no way they wouldn’t hear my pathetic scream.

“Yep, I’m okay, although all in the dust,” I said when I realized I was lying in a pile of dust and whatnot. “Well… I hope it’s only dust,” I added before I began sweeping the dust off of me.

“Move aside, I’m coming in,” Jungkook warmed me before he jumped into the hole. “Do you think it’s the tomb?” He asked, and I looked around, studying my surroundings.

The pit looked simple. Rocks on the left, rocks on the right; no diamonds, no gold.

Well, except for one beautiful necklace sitting on a handful of tiny bones – which must’ve been Yaya’s phalanges.

“OMG, there it is, can you believe it?” I asked Jungkook when I ran up to the necklace, admiring its timeless beauty. It looked even better than I had imagined. Regardless of ornate words used to write these legends, nothing could convey its elegance.

“What I really can’t believe is that you used the abbreviation in an oral conversation,” Jungkook retorted, but I dismissed his rejoinder. The object of my research was within my reach, I couldn’t pay less attention to my annoying sidekick and his quips.

Just before I touched the necklace, I heard a bullet ricocheting against the walls of the cave.

“These fools,” I spoke, remembering the strange writing on the wall. “It’s not good,” I mentioned to Jungkook right before a few smugglers jumped into the hole, pointing their guns at us.

They were giving us some orders, but neither of us could comprehend what they wanted us to do. Based on their intonation I could only theorize the meaning behind their words. On the other hand, when one man’s gun pointed at me and then slightly tilted it in the direction of the necklace, it was actually pretty self-explanatory.

Despite the direct message, none of us moved an inch. Jungkook and I were stubborn, unwilling to cooperate. Maybe, someone would admire our courage, but most people would call us stupid.

The tallest of the smugglers wasn’t having it; he was sick and tired of our attitude. Staring into my eyes, he raised his gun, aiming at my head. It was perfect; after all I had experienced, it was how I was going to die.

Whispering something chilling, he pulled the trigger, whereas I, expecting to get shot, closed my eyes. Suspecting these milliseconds to stretch into hours, I anticipated the impact. It never came, though. Time passed, yet I didn’t feel anything.

Then, I opened my eyes and saw the man drop on the ground. He had a clear shot, yet he missed, and the bullet ricocheted and went right through his forehead. What the fuck? A few laws of physics must’ve been broken for it to happen.

“That explains the quote on the wall,” Jungkook stated when he slightly leaned toward me, taking advantage of the smugglers’ disorientation. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“It depends; are you wondering what Indiana Jones would do in this situation?” I answered, still unable to process what just happened to that man.

“Well… kinda.” Jungkook shrugged. “Take that necklace and let’s get the hell out of here,” he proposed, and I nodded my head, mindlessly following his suggestion.

It was unreasonable; as long as Jungkook and I were in the cave, we were safe. They couldn’t hurt us with their weapon. On the other hand, if we were outside, nothing could stop them from shooting us down. Unfortunately, due all that accumulated stress and panic, my mind didn’t function properly.

Quickly, I grabbed the necklace and ran after Jungkook.

At the same time, the smugglers fixated their eyes on me, blocking my way to the entrance. Each of them stared into my eyes with what seemed admiration? With each passing second, I could comprehend less and less.

What the hell happened this time around?

On cue, the smugglers kneeled before me.

“It starts to get really creepy,” said Jungkook upon seeing the strange behavior. “Care to explain what you’ve done to them?” Jungkook urged me, but I was lost for words. He demanded an answer, and I wished to have one.

“How should I know; I’m absolutely clueless,” I whispered, still in confusion. The smugglers behaved as if they were infatuated zombies. And then it hit me. “No, it’s not possible,” I muttered to myself, unable to fully wrap my head around it.

“Can you enlighten me? What is going on in that pretty head of yours?”

Jungkook said something, but to me, it was all white noise.

My theory didn’t make any sense. It couldn’t be possible that everything is valid. Magic is a myth; it was crazy. I couldn’t control their behavior with that necklace. And even if I could, how come Jungkook seemed resistant to it?

According to the legend, every man who took a glimpse of Aminata felt a strong desire to worship her. Men were literally falling to her feet; all men – no exceptions. It just couldn’t be happening to me, it just couldn’t.

Jungkook, still unfazed – exhibit A.

“Stand up,” I ordered them, and although they hadn’t spoken English before, they perfectly understood me. “Help me get out of the hole,” I added, and they obediently positioned themselves directly under the hole, ready to pick me up.

“What the hell is going on?” Jungkook asked, blinking swiftly, trying to grasp the current situation. How did they, in a matter of seconds, turn from shooters to butlers?

“No time to talk, let’s get the hell out of here,” I commanded before I started to run away outside, not even waiting for Jungkook to follow me. I wanted to feel the fresh air as soon as it was possible, and I didn’t care if Jungkook thought the same.

Whatever happened in the tomb, it was too much to take in, and I needed time and space to digest it; preferably, in a four-star hotel, sipping my fourth mimosa. Yep, that sounded like a perfect plan.

The distance seemed shorter when we were going out of the cave. One moment I was controlling zombie-smugglers, while the other I was basking in the sunlight.

“What the hell was that?” Jungkook asked when we sat down on the ground, panting while I took an empty ziplock bag and put the necklace in it. “I’ve never seen anything like that,” he added, and I just shrugged, not knowing how to explain it, especially when I wasn’t sure about it either.

“I have no idea.” I sat beside him, pulling out a bottle of water, taking a few gulps of it. “Shit, there are more of them,” I pinpointed when I saw a few men running in our direction. “And they don’t seem to be enchanted like the ones in the cave.”

“Holy shit, when will this day be over?” Jungkook cursed, jumping to his feet. “And they aren’t alone, look there,” he added, pointing his finger to the left. “Oh my God, I don’t fucking believe it.”

“What?” I asked, once again being completely clueless.

“It’s Namjoon and his crew.”

Fuck. What else was going to hunt us? Aliens?

“What are we doing now?”

“Let’s split,” Jungkook proposed, and I couldn’t say I liked that idea. “I’ll go this way, and you go that way. We will meet by the chopper wrack. Once we lose them, we’ll figure out what we’re gonna do next, okay?”

I wasn’t okay, but we didn’t have time to strategize a better plan.

“Okay,” I answered, and Jungkook pulled me closer, giving me a kiss. This act surprised me, but I didn’t hate it. It was somewhat adorable. “Good luck,” I quickly added before we ran away separate ways.

Not looking backward, I sprinted as fast as I could. Adrenaline-driven, I really felt as if I was breaking some records. Unfortunately, it seemed to be only a figment of my imagination.

Not even twenty minutes later, I was surrounded by six pissed off smugglers. Due to our snooping, they must’ve lost almost an entire day of loading their shipments. Although I was scared shitless, they seemed to be pleased to catch me.

It was pointless to run at this point, so I decided to check if the trick with the necklace would work in this situation too. All of the men were looking at me, wondering what I was doing. In a desperate attempt, I put off my backpack and opened the pocket where I had hidden the necklace. Much to my surprise, it was gone.

“That motherfucker,” I whispered, furious at Jungkook for double-crossing me like that.

______

Sometime this week, I will post the second (final) part to it. Stay tuned!

[buckybabybaby]

Mr Hollywood (Chapter 1)

Summary: Bucky Barnes, an underpaid teaching assistant in a small English village, dreams of a movie career back in his home country of America. He finally gets the break he's always wanted, and if it wasn't for you, his best friend, he wouldn't have been able to take it. But is that fact enough to save your friendship when it's tested by the pressures of Hollywood?

A/n: I started writing this in September 2017 so it's long over due being posted. I've only written one series so far, and that was nearly two years ago so I may be out of practice, but this is a story that’s been floating around in my head for years so... I really hope people like it! I think I'll aim to post every weekend, and by putting this out today I'm hoping I force myself to write more.

Proof read by way of a text-speech device.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word count: 1959

Warnings: None for now!

Mr Hollywood Masterlist

Main Masterlist. 

*****

Mr Barnes, of Wild Fields Primary School, looks exactly like one of those teachers that pop up in viral tweets because they are just too attractive not to be shared with the world, but as a Year One teaching assistant, the children he helps are far too young to be affected by his appearance. But then there are their parents.

You have spent many a school play, summer fête, and open evening watching them watching him, and wondering how it is that he appears so calm in the face of such obvious flirting. The effort some of the single mums and dads, as well as a few of the very married ones, make with their appearances when they think he might be at an event is laughable.

Or at least it would be funny if it wasn't so embarrassing.

Bucky first arrived four years ago, and as an American in a sleepy English village, he had caused quite the stir. During the first few weeks his every move was watched by the residents like a new exhibit at the zoo, and that was partly how you had become friends, after feeling the need to defend him against one particularly rude busybody who made a comment about his suitability to teach at the school.

The grateful smile he sent your way melted your heart and the two of you have be inseparable ever since.

Now, with three weeks to go until the summer holidays there's a buzz around the school, but this Monday afternoon your class have been remarkably calm, flipping through their books during 'reading time' in near silence as you sit at your desk trying not to bite your nails. The second hand on the clock at the front of the schoolroom appears to be slowing down the longer you stare at it, but you can't concentrate on your lesson planning when you don't know what is wrong with Bucky.

He's been weird all day and you need to find out why. Playground duty at mid-morning break meant you hadn't had a chance to speak to him then, and he wasn't anywhere obvious at lunch, so you've had to just watch through the small window separating your classroom with the one he was working in today as he pulled at his hair harder than usual. Even without confronting him you can tell something is up, and you hope to catch him before he leaves at the end of the day.

The last bell finally rings, and you usher your pupils out as quick as you can without looking desperate, excusing them from putting their chairs tidy under their desks because you can see Bucky doing the same. You don't like the idea of him going home in the state he seems to be in without talking to someone.

When the last stragglers eventually wish you farewell you hurry out too and walk briskly along the corridor to the other Year One classroom, dimly aware there may be other children still inside who you don't want to break the 'no running' rule in front of. As the lights are switched off you assume the room is deserted, so you're about to rush off to the staff room in the hope of intercepting him when a shadow near the window catches your eye.

Opening the door, you slip in quietly. “Bucky?” He doesn't move, only making a noise in response, a low hum that does nothing to reassure you. “Are you okay?”

That question seems to shake him out of his haze. He tilts his head to look back at you, then nods towards the table he's sitting on, a silent invitation to join him. You do, searching his face for an answer when he turns towards you.

“I feel sick.”

Okay, so he's ill. That makes sense, as you know how hard it is to try and work when you're not feeling one hundred per cent, and he does look pale.

“Do you want me to take you home? I can make you some soup if-”

“Not that sort of sick,” He interrupts. “Nervous sick.”

“Oh.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“It's a secret.”

“Okay?”

“I, er,” He takes a deep breath. “You know that teaching, or assisting at teaching, wasn't ever something I really wanted to do. I just fell in to it, sort of. But it's not that I don't enjoy it! I love it, most days, and sometimes I think I could do this for the rest of my life and be okay with it. It's just that it is always going to feel like a substitute for what I really want to do, and... I'm not explaining my self very well am I?”

You shake your head with a small laugh. “You are rambling a bit, are you sure you're not ill?”

“Nah, I'm just a bit dazed. I got a call back. A big one.”

Your eyebrows raise as he says that. A call back? You were aware that with his degree in theatre he always wanted to pursue work in TV or film, but when his twin brother was transferred over to a specialist rehabilitation hospital in the UK, he had to abandon that dream and move here to care for him.

As soon as Dayton had recovered he encouraged him to get back to what he loved, and from going to open auditions Bucky had landed a few roles in adverts, mainly for the radio, but he's been very quiet on that front recently.

You haven't said anything, still trying to understand how he managed to keep this from you. “Here, this might help explain.” He hands you his phone, open on an email which you scan quickly. And again. Then once more, taking time to read every word carefully and process the potentially life changing information it contained.

You look back at him, mirroring his wide-eyed expression. “Stark? Stark Pictures?” He nods. “And they need to see you again? When did you go before, what is this?”

“Last weekend when I went to London.” He swallows. “It's not a commercial this time.”

“I can see that. Gosh Bucky, does this say what I think it does?” You don't give him a chance to reply before you bombard him with more questions, “What TV show is it? Who would you play? It says here it's a screen test for chemistry, so it's more than just a simple call back isn't it? Bucky, why didn't you tell me any of this?”

“I didn't think anything would come of it,” He says, staring out of the window and choosing not to answer your other queries. “And it doesn't matter anyway 'cos I'm not going.”

“What?” You whip around to face him, astonished. “What do you mean you're not going?”

“Look at where it is Y/N,” He whispers. “I can't afford flights back to America, especially at the moment.”

Silence follows as you think about the frankly pathetic wage an assistant teacher gets. With his rent, bills and the train fare to visit his brothers new home he was basically living pay check to pay check.

“Can't they pay for you?” You say eventually.

“I don't want to ask.”

You sigh, knowing how proud Bucky can be, how he'd rather struggle than ask for help. He's been like that his entire life, according to Dayton, and you can almost hear his exasperated voice scolding him. For Dayton's sanity, and for the sake of Bucky's future, you do the only thing you can.

Hopping off the table and pulling out your own phone you hold it up against his. “Okay, so you need to be there for the afternoon of the seventh. Which means,” You pause to scroll down the website, “With time differences...”

Bucky approaches you slowly, eyeing your phone. “Y/N, what are you doing?”

“Booking your flights. Hope you don't mind economy?” Ignoring his squeak of protest, you dodge out of his reach as you continue to type. “You won't need any hold luggage will you?”

“Y/N, please, stop,” He tries again, succeeding in grabbing your phone this time but you snatch it back just as quick, walking backwards away from him as he whines. “I can't ask you too do this.”

“You didn't ask, I'm offering. Now what's your passport number?”

“Y/N, I'm not going to let you do this.”

Stopping in front of him you meet his eye, silently daring him to refuse. “No best friend of mine is going to miss a screen test at Stark Pictures, when the role is yours in everything but name. Not over a few hundred measly pounds. Okay? Passport number.”

Realising you've adopted your 'teacher voice' to reason with him, you clear your throat, not wanting him to feel belittled. You know it must be hard for him to accept help. He's still standing there looking pained, so you try one last time. “Please Bucky, this is your dream, don't let your pride get in the way. Plus, you'll be able to pay me back ten times in a month.”

That last part seems to work. His frown disappears and he pulls you into his arms while you're still typing, crushed against his chest as he laughs through tears.

“Twenty times,” He promises into your hair, and you completely believe he would.

****

Bucky's flight home landed half an hour ago but there's still no sign of him. The couple of days before he left on Friday flew by, then the weekend seemed to drag as you awaited his return, and now you can't sit still as you stare down Heathrow's arrivals gate, wondering if you should have made him a 'welcome back!' sign like the family next to you.

He doesn't actually know you're here to meet him, and you're hoping he hasn't managed to slip past you in the crowds as the announcement warning against leaving baggage unattended plays for the umpteenth time.

A group of university students sporting Dodgers caps pass by and you stand in anticipation. On spotting Bucky walking through the doors you begin to move in his direction, shouting at him across the hall louder than you intended, but the attention of others doesn't bother you as his tired smile morphs in to a full grin in realisation. You speed up your pace to close the distance between the two of you until he's dropping his holdall, reaching out for you and lifting you off your feet to spin you around.

“You didn't say you were coming!” His excitement is for more than your surprise presence, you can tell, and that's almost enough evidence of how this trip went. Before he'd gone out, one of the producers had emailed him to say they were okay with him working his notice and staying until the summer holidays started, and from that you had interpreted that they were pretty certain he was going to be the one they cast, but you still need to hear him say it.

“Never mind that,” You pull away to watch his face. “Well? Did you get it?”

“No, sweetheart, I'm this happy because I didn't.”

You roll your eyes as he smirks at you, but you know what he is actually saying and he holds you tighter as you offer your congratulations, so pleased for him you could burst.

He sets you down and you smooth out his jumper, beaming up at him. “Come on then Mr Hollywood, two more weeks of term, better make them count.”

Bucky laughs at that and lets you lead him towards the train station to go home, or at least home for the next few weeks, until he starts his new life in Los Angeles and everything changes.

*****

Chapter 2

[a-merman-not-a-guppy]

CHINESE HOROSCOPES 2020! Fruits Basket Style

The Rat - “You're done. Put that down and get out.” - Yuki Sohma

Other Rats: Lymantria Khan, Mateo De Alva

Congrats. It is the year of the rat. The Rat horoscope 2020 predicts that you may be filled with a vague feeling of dissatisfaction even though things will go quite well.He is loyal and devoted to his friends and rather protective of them. He is not really romantic and often is really good friends with his lover. At times he can be mean, stubborn, and narrow-minded in his view but it is merely his way of being a perfectionist and his need to live by his own rules.

Don’t listen, then, to the insidious little voice that will incite you to see things in black. Look at your life with serenity: You’ll realize that, in fact, you’ve absolutely no serious reason to complain or even to worry. Celebrate the many good things you’ve been given.

The Ox - “A mystery...” - Hatsuharu Sohma

Other Oxen: Perry Flynn, Merida Dunbroch, Berlioz Bonfamille, Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines, Charlie Little, Alana Triton, Keaton “Buster” Palmerteri 

2020 will certainly be a lucky year for those born in the Year of the Ox. You’ll be relaxed and feel good about yourself, The Ox chinese horoscope 2020 predicts that in order to amplify the good celestial influences of the year and lessen the negative impacts, it will be in your best interests to take stock of your life and to hatch out new projects. and this beautiful balance will have happy repercussions on your love life.

Some of you might accidentally encounter some supernatural events that are beyond one’s imagination. Whether such meeting is a good omen or not is to be established in the near future. But certainly it brings a new chapter into one’s life. As long as one has an open mind and does not keep thinking of negative consequences, then the situation should be under control. If still in doubt, then one can choose to totally ignore it.

The Tiger - “When I’m...with Onee-chan...I feel warm inside...” - Kisa Sohma

Other Tigers: Kanga DeRosa, Thomas O’Malley, Calliope Harper, Olafur Önnuson, Gregory Eeyore, Marian May, Sindri Dyrsson

Tigers are set to reap the benefits of the Year of the Rat; career and education, in particular, will be the areas to focus on for the next few months. Be confident in your abilities. Use your talents for good; loyalty and intelligence will get you far. On the other hand, health and relationships will not have such a positive outlook. You will need to be sensitive to your well-being and others’ if you want to have a good year.

The Rabbit - “But...I think...I want to live with all my memories. Even if they're sad memories.” - Momiji Sohma

Other Rabbits: Kiara Lyons, Shannon “Shock” Adamson, Bambi Basurto, Sora Hamasaki/Roxas, Reed Fisch, Elyon Brown

The Rabbit horoscope 2020 predicts that in general, the outlook is positive. However, the year will be marked with some tense configurations. In order to preserve your serenity, it would be in your best interest to adopt a well-balanced lifestyle at the very start of the year.Be careful about your diet, and think of getting more fresh air; indeed, you’ll tend to live too much indoors, forgetting to walk or to maintain contact with nature. There’s a whole world out there for you to explore.

The Dragon -  “No I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything.” - Hatori Sohma

Other Dragons: Imelda Rivera, Sun Park, Roscoe Sykes, Jake Long, Marie Bonfamille, Deb DamselBu, Oliver Twistes, Fflewddur Fflam

The Dragon horoscope 2020 predicts that this year, you will become more sure of yourself and assert your originality, especially in your career, where your qualities will be acknowledged by your superiors and colleagues. But you’ll also have the tendency to adopt overly radical positions at times; try to be more moderate.Beware: By refusing to make concessions, you’ll antagonize even those who only want to help you! Expect luck to smile upon you.

The Snake - “So send me your desire. In the service of my fellow students, I am prepared to receive!” - Ayame Sohma

Other Snakes: Kristoff Bjorgman, Violet Parr, Isabel Flores 

The Snake horoscope 2020 predicts that your personal evolution will be highlighted by the Stars this year. You’ll discover new things that interest you and you’ll better understand the direction of your destiny. Many of you will be attracted by all that is related to spirituality. Your natural generosity will express itself usefully in the service of others. Think about this if ever you have an important career choice to make.

The Horse - “And if when everything ends, nothing is left in my hands...that's alright.” - Rin Sohma

Other Horses: Willis Tibbs, Marzel of Coronado, Marisa of Coronado, Gaston Lacarriere, Ralph O’Reilly, Lucius “Lock” Adamson, Ashley Spinelli, Mei Qin, Dash Parr, Haley Long, Urchin Owens, Ashle Boulet, Ashleigh Quinlan, Ariel Triton

The horse horoscope 2020 predicts that the year may be marked with important surprises. Now, as a native of this Sign, you abhor the unforeseen. Nevertheless, it will be in your best interest to act quickly if changes come to disrupt your career schedule. Given the favorable astral configurations of the year, such modifications will play in your favor, on the condition that you take up the challenge. Don’t be doubtful of your abilities; you’ll find the necessary resources within yourself to make the most of changing conditions.

The Goat - "STUPID WOMAN! Always stealing our alone time." - Hiro Sohma

Other Goats: Terra, Nala, Terence, Attina, Ella, Simba, Meg, Finn, Roo, Huey, Dewey, Louie, Ashlee T, Nemo, Wilbur

The year of the Rat will be full of highs and lows for Goats. Having enjoyed a relatively stable previous year, they should expect 2020 to be more dramatic.Goats will have to work harder than usual to capitalize on great financial opportunities during the first half of the year. These resources should then be saved to prepare for the difficult years of the Ox, Tiger, and Rabbit.

In the second half, Goats may face some serious problems that can last a while. These obstacles will require strong persistence and commitment from them. However, they should see this as an opportunity to grow and bring out the best in them. As long as Goats remain optimistic throughout the year, everything should turn out fine.

The Monkey -  "I'm a complete failure. At everything I do, I'm absolutely worthless. I know this, and yet I continue to burden the human race with my presence. “ - Ritsu Sohma

Other Monkeys: Celia, Henry, Jake Rogers

The Monkey horoscope 2020 predicts that this year, you’ll have to make concerted efforts in order to get what you want. Important changes can take place at home or at work, so you need to be prepared. It would be ideal if you could remain confident when you actually feel like sweating. If you act rather than panic, you’ll find brilliant solutions and you’ll triumph over difficulties. Be convinced that life is made of renewals and that upheavals are useful because they allow you to make progress.

The Rooster - “I alone am free. I could go anywhere I please. I could love whomever I wish.” - Kureno Sohma

Other Roosters:  Marlin, Iseul, Adella, Belle, Artemis, Apollo, Jim, Sally, Georgette, Chase

The Rooster chinese horoscope 2020 predicts that this year, your focus will be on the sectors related to relations with others. Thus, it will be in your best interest to think of other people more. Whether in your work, love affairs or family life, don’t make any decisions without foreseeing its consequences on those around you. Good fortune will smile upon you if you put your family and friends first.

The Dog -  “Sometimes I think the whole world is conspiring to destroy my house.” - Shigure Sohma

Other Dogs: Reza, Hera, Minnie, Sarina, Melody, John, Elena

People born in the year of the Dog won’t have to complain about the stars in the year of the Rat 2020, for they will have good luck in most areas of their life. You will need to be patient and tenacious at work. If you’re wise enough to adapt yourself to new challenges that arise, you’ll strengthen your character and develop two key qualities — the art of negotiating and the ability to make sensible choices.

The Pig - “I will forgive him right after I kill him!” - Kagura Sohma

Other Pigs: Hercules, Dodger, Mitte, Jane, Wendy

2020 will be an extremely lucky year for all the people born in the year of the Pig.The pig has the last position among the twelve animals of the Chinese Zodiac. The Pig horoscope 2020 predicts that the astral climate will lighten. After a rather chaotic year, you’ll begin to feel better about yourself. However, there are still lessons to learn. First of all, show yourself to be extremely reasonable in all domains of your life. Next, vow to be more selfless. Finally, the more willing you are to modify your plans at the last minute, the better you’ll fare in all aspects of your life.

[chewysugar]

Life is hard. It’s especially harder than it needs to be right now. There’s a difference between the suffering that we have as a price for getting to live, and the suffering we needlessly put each other through.

So have your little joys. Start a relationship and see what happens. Enjoy your sugary Starbucks drinks. Eat keto, vegan, paleo, low FODMap or whatever it is you need/prefer. Fan out over Star Wars, the MCU, Supernatural, Bojack, The Good Place, old reruns of CSI, M*A*S*H and The Golden Girls. Read romance, horror, literature, non-fiction. Play video games, and be bad at them. Or be pro. Stream, watch streamers: watch mukbangs, artists, people yakking. Enjoy Tana, the Paul brothers, Jeffree, Tati, James, Gigi, JoJo, Hank, John, Lindsay, Natalie, Jesse, Dodger, Michelle, Grace, Mamrie, Hannah or whoever rocks your socks. Hate your parents; forgive them. It’s your call. Spend time crocheting. Write fanfiction. Write a screenplay. Grow a vegetable garden. Skip class, be a Straight A student. Go to uni, or don’t. Travel or stay in one city. Scrape by, be wealthy, whatever your blessed with. Be as gay as a technicolour dreamcoat, or be heterosexuality personified. Live your truth, or wear a mask. Go to therapy, talk to your friends, shitpost on Reddit. Drink, do drugs, be a teetotaler. Enjoy bro-comedies from the Bush Years, or stan for more woke fare from the 2010′s. Cheer for Marina, Lana, Lights, Billie, Troye, Trixie, Eminem, RiRi, Adele, Sir Paul, Joni Mitchell, Dean Martin or baroque chamber music. Paper your bedroom walls with posters, postcards and painted art, or leave them bare. Collect every Funko or Gundam you can afford. Or don’t. Argue with people on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook and Youtube; be the peace sign in the disorder, or just ignore it all together. Have kids or have fur-kids. Our lives seem long. They seem endless. These things hypnotize us into feeling safe. The illusions make it beautiful. But in truth it’s a lot shorter and so much more fragile than we believe.

Take your boot off other people’s necks for five minutes, and put down the knife you have at your own throat.

Appreciate it.

If 2020 is teaching me anything, it’s that this could upend before we know it.

[chrysolina]

Luck on the first day

Ask - Can you do one of Chris‘ reaction to his child having their “First Day of Grade School” or participating “Career Day”?

Sure thing anon! Since it kinda felt right to do so, I’m following g this on from ‘Luck’ bcos I’m so bland lol enjoy!! 💕

Summary - How well does Chris fare when his little princess goes off to school?

Pairing - Chris Evans x reader

Warnings - floof

Part i - Luck

M A S T E R L I S T

“I don’t wike it Y/N, I really don’t.” Chris huffed at the breakfast island in your kitchen eating his granola and fruit bowl whilst feeding Noah his cereal in the high chair next to him.

“What don’t you like Chris?” You hummed as you stirred your de-caff latte in your travel flask. “She’s got to go one day, hasn’t she?” You turned and stared at your rugged husband pointedly, your hand placed on one hip and the other rubbing your back tiresomely.

“Yes but why today?! How about next year?” Chris exclaimed and made Noah giggle at his father’s antics. He didn’t need you to say anything else after the look you gave him, Chris sighed and dropped his head to the counter at the sound of his excited daughter hurrying down the stairs.

“I just love her, that’s all.” He mumbled into his arms. You sighed at Chris’ confession and hugged him the best you could with your 6 month bump stuck in between you.

“Mommy! Daddy! Look at me!” Bella squealed by the front door and twirled around in her new navy blazer, white polo and black skirt and knee high socks - her new uniform, more rightly. You beamed at your daughter and called her over for a hug, to which she ran towards the two of you and hugged your legs fiercely.

“Daddy!! Daddy! Do I look as pretty as mommy?” Bella jumped up and down pointing at your enlarged figure. “Do I? Do I?” Chris’ heart swelled at the sight of his daughter and picked her up into his arms, kissing her cheeks as he did so.

“Yes baby, you look just as beautiful as mommy,” Chris sighed looking over to you, love swimming in his eyes. It was true, although Bella was yours and Chris’s daughter she did look exactly like you - the perfect mini-me bar the blue eyes she inherited off her father.

You rolled your eyes at Chris playfully and grabbed all your belongings for the day. “C’mon Bella, don’t wanna be late for school now do you?” You smirked at Chris as he plopped her down on the tiled floor and watched as you walked to the front door hand in hand, his heart swelling more than possible at the sight.

“Tell daddy you’ll see him later baby,” You whispered into your ear feeling sorry for your lovesick husband. You understood just how Chris felt too, although you were being more realistic about it than he was - with Noah and two more babies on the way, the two of you had plenty of time with pre-school babies to last you a good while yet.

Chris padded over to you with Bella back in his arms and kissed you teasingly hard as payback for earlier, his free hand rubbing your clothed bump contently. “And I’ll see you later, Mrs Evans.” He smirked and kissed you again, smirking into your mouth at your eager reception.

Bella yucked at the sight and wriggled out of her father’s hold yelling at she did so “Mommy we’re gonna be late!” And pulled your arm away from your walking sex-god of a husband and out the door, flask, daughter and handbag in hand.

It wasn’t until the front door closed that Chris let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He looked down to Dodger by his feet and then to Noah who was covered in his breakfast and smiled happily. “C’mon Dodger, lets get Noah cleaned up.”

=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=

“So, how was home-time today? Did you cry?” You joked half heartedly as put on your pjs, which could only consist of one of Chris’ baggy t-shirts and maternity underwear. He looked at you from his book with a pointed stare and rolled his eyes.

“No,” he denied strongly, making you look at him dubiously from the dresser. “Maybe..in the car before I picked her up.” Chris sighed and put the book down with defeat.

“Awh baby,” You cooed, straddled him on the bed and kissed him tenderly, his beard scratching your face delightfully. “We’ve still got Noah and these two though.” You smiled and looked down to your bump that rested in Chris’ lap.

“Thank god,” Chris sighed into your neck and rubbed your belly with a smile on his face as you smoothed his slightly longer hair soothingly. “I gotta say, Noah is the image of me when I was a baby, Y/N” the proudness in his tone didn’t go unnoticed by yourself.

“Oh yeah?” You chided playfully. “And what about these two?” You looked down to your soon to be newest additions to the family - two little boys, to Chris’ and Noah’s delight and your demise. As by yours and Chris’ mum’s account, giving birth to boys is never an easy task - but neither is childbirth, period.

“They’ll both look like me.” Chris smiled that cheeky devious smile you loved. You shook your head and laughed at the actor and captured his lips with yours.

“And what happens if they don’t?” You queried casually against his lips. Before you could protest, Chris moved you onto the bed and pinned you underneath him. “Then we’ll have to try until we do.”

Right before Chris was going to capture your lips again, a cry echoed around the room from the baby monitor beside the two of you.

“Go on then Daddy,” you teased lightly and watched him stomp off to the nursery. “Your lookalike is calling.” You called out and laughed when Chris turned around and poked his tongue out like a child.

“Lookalike my ass..”

Tags - @patzammit

[bowlerhatwearer]

Lost Guilt

One Shot by Bowlerhatwearer

Ghost Pupper/S,Snow by @stedilnik

Ervin Niedmüller by @bowlerhatwearer

Warning: Story involves: drug abuse, blood, semi strong language, death

Before this story starts I have, to avoid confusion say two things:

- Ervin speaks with a German Accent

- The paragraphs jump between first and third person narrative.    With the exception of the last who is also written in third person.

Read to your own risk.

~~~~~~

“Shit” It’s the first thought that shoots in my brain, what a “great” way to start my morning. The sunlight blinds one of my eyes, something I tried under all circumstances to avoid but failed already in the moment when I didn’t close my with smoke and other substances ridden curtains. Not fully awake yet I get up, looking at myself it’s easy for me to notice and remember that I didn’t got out of my clothes that I wore since yesterday, no, since yesterdays yesterday. The mustard stain on my grey shirt reminds me of the date, I think.

Dry, like a plant that desires water since several months but is denied the liquid, that’s how I feel right now, or do I feel like this everyday? Since I went deeper down the never ending spiral my brain can’t make good connections any more, it is in a 24/7 hour mood.  Like searching a needle in a haystack. During my walk to the bathroom I inhale the flavour of cold smoke, mostly from tobacco but also weed. Evidence from this claim are the cigarette packets next to some beer, medication bottles and some ends of self rolled joints. My next thought is as scrambled as myself, but I can only smile about it.

Cold, I forgot to turn on the boiler again didn’t I? A rhetorical question at this point, whatever, I can shower later, with my senses a bit more clearer I know now that I need to get out of the student apartment, but where to go?  The park? The train station of this forsaken city? The woo- nearly automatically I clench my hands on the sink, breathing heavy, do I really want to go to this place? Really, especially today? It takes me a while, minutes probably, like my mind, my feeling for time is lost. I’m lost. The cold water helps my senses,  my face confronts in the shining glass, I can only grin about the guy who meets me in the mirror.

A Cat, medium size with grey-black stripes, the fur is felted and dirty. Some pieces of it is in some places lighter or non-existent. Mostly because of scars or injection sites. Sometimes the healed injuries and cuts happened due of meaningless fights. The ember eyes are dull, or rather became dull with time, ridden with tear sacks and folds that a feline my age should not have. A soft smile reveals on the first sight nothing, but inspecting it closer one of my eye-teeth broke off a bit, it’s what you get when you mess with the wrong dealer.

“Miss Beauty Queen first price” the words, coming from my mouth sound more like croaking rather than speaking, from all the smoking I must’ve been getting hoarse.

Before I decide to leave my messed up bathroom I take some medicine bottles with me, mostly painkillers and sleeping pills, never hurts to have those.

My next station would be the kitchen, but I don’t feel hungry, since days, weeks or months I don’t feel it. Despite eating only one burger a day it feels as if I’m not loosing weight, maybe it’s due of the liqueur, I don’t know. With a single click on a button I look at the landline phone, despite not old at all it’s already ridden with three and a half cracks on the earpiece something that just happens if hit it with all force on the table.

Looking at the answering machine I notice that I have four absent calls.

All of them from my parents.

They still think I’m in law school, actually university, they put a lot of money into it and me.

Put a lot of money in a failure, a junky, a criminal.

A Murderer

I’m one, no I’m not, or am I? I’m not sure how you call someone like me?

Pulling out the last crumbs from my eyes I head to the door of my flat. It’s dramatic, a tragedy and I’m the protagonist of it. My parents believe I’m still the son they raised, still going to law school to become a “highly respected truthfully member of society, a lawyer” I became a victim of myself and drug abuse. That’s what I’m now. A well aware mistake, a failure, a slacker who still gets send money from his parents, despite thrown out of the university months ago, they just don’t know.

All of this, could’ve been prevented on that day, that one year anniversary. My one way ticket to oblivion and destruction.

Forgetting my self pity for a while I go down the stairs, I don’t greet anyone, say no word, just stomping down and further down the stairs, destiny, bus station. Which is not too far ahead from the building. Everyone I see on my way, I don’t recognise them really, they all became blurry one day, unimportant, they are like shadows to me.

I’m just in time for the bus, like me it has seen better days, the city is nice, but like many it lacks the money to buy new public vehicles, they still run the ones from the 60s, when there was this financial uprising, that later ended in quite highly debts and unemployment. The rust attacks the green lack, the leather seats ripped open by accident and or on purpose.

It doesn't bother me being a fare dodger here and there, if they throw me out I just walk the rest of the way.

The seats are nice, not because of their appearance, despite their age they can be comfy and warm, it makes me notice that despite sleeping 10 hours, I’m still tired, so tired, since the final stop is my destination, It doesn't matte, there is always time to sleep time away.

<...>

Knocking, buzzing, knocking and buzzing. It takes the cat a while to notice that it’s his hard-line phone and the door, not the pleasant dream he had that creates this order of sounds. Responding at first with a grunt and the thought to throw the old thing on the wall he rethinks it and tiredly answers, whoever desperately tries to call him. Looking down at the line-phone it’s easily for the feline to answer who is the desperate, or rather annoying caller since no one other he knew would call around this time.

“Snow, zats you?”

“Rise and shine morning cat, it’s already twelve you know.”

“Sorry, I-, I think I napped in vhen studying the...law about trespassing I zink?”

“Learning again tomcat? I thought your test was already last week?”

“Listen S, if you’re in law school every veek is a test, at least for me.”

“Dawww, poor kitty, you sure you don’t want to change the subject?”

“Nah, you know my goal, I vant to help those poor cases, it’s not their fault if they go down zis spiral, it’s most of the time a hard househo-, vhy are you calling me?”

“Oh you know, I’m done with my shift, Alponso is still working, I’m bored-”

“-you vant to hang out?”

“...”

“Danged S, vhere are you even right now?”

“Well, what would you do if my answer is at your door, trying to wake you up with calling and knocking.”

“GOD DAMIT!” the law student didn’t even bother if his neighbours heard him.

It was always the same with S, or Snow, that’s what he called the white furred short-hair dog with long black hair and as black eyes, she would just appear in front of his door or call him, bothering until he would say yes, and the worst of all, he always said yes, one the other side S gave him a change in the grey-black striped cats right now monotone live.

Opening the door as fast as if he was hunted by a pack of racing cars Ervin was greeted by a smaller as him, white dog girl who grinned unsure while greeting him with a short wave before she placed her new so called “mobile phone” in an as white as her fur was backpack.

He wasn’t sure if he should just throw the door right into her face or scream but decided to gave her too a hand sign meaning she should just step in, Ervin didn’t really bother that S, saw him in his olive green flannel pyjamas right now.

“You look se-”

“Nicht ein Wort S, Nicht ein Wort.” despite the words spoken out in German the dog understood clearly that her opponent in the door frame was not amused.

“Aww come on now, and don’t call me S, I’ve a name you know tomboy.”

“Well lets see, you come here vhenever you like, you raid my fridge and call me sometimes during my lessons, so...nein.”

“Killjoy, speaking of-”

“There’s a hamburger in my fridge, you can varm it up in the microwafe while I take a shower and change clothes.”

“And here I thought you would go out in that flannel stile, I heard it’s the newest trend.”

“Haha, you’re killing me S, more than I vish for.”

Showing her dog tongue plus blowing raspberry's the dog girl began to salvage for the said nutrient, that was according to the law student in his fridge.

“Oh and just to be sure-” half trough the door of the bathroom Ervin grabbed as fast as he could his wallet that still laid on the kitchen table

“So vee von’t have zhe accident like last time.”

“I told you it wasn’t me who drew the moustache and monocle on the license photo.”

Grumbling the door got closed and locked.

“How comes that your fancy pants of a roommate doesn't hafe time for you, on a Thursday afternoon?”

“Overtime, he seriously needs the money for the new fridge, the old ones busted and we still try to get out the smell of spoiled milk and rotten eggs.” the dogs voice got mixed with chewing and eating noises, and Evin was surprised that she didn’t choke on it by accident.  

“Vell zat’s vat you get from a two day vacation, an unlucky surprise.”

Ervin began to shift his concentration on the sound of the first cold then warm water that soaked his fur, for a short time there was a relief, but that soon got overtaken by random thoughts of stuff he had to learn from law school, property law or what happens if a person goes missing and so one.

The grey striped cat was about to scream, school, aka university got so bad sometimes that he bought himself a package of sleeping pills and took already from time to time one.

On the one side S, her roommate and their friends bothered him, on the other hand the diversion probably saved his mind from succumbing to madness so he was kind of thankful for S, who was the first he met. Whilst she was on her shift, apparently S had the unlucky destiny to work late and Ervin had the unlucky destiny that most of his courses where late, meaning the time he bought himself some nutritions, may it be sometimes a whole menu or a simple lemonade where always when S was on the cash register. Apparently even an honour roll student like S had to pay bills, something Ervin was not aware of when he met the girl first.  

Turning off the water tab he stepped out the shower and immediately began to dry himself with a towel and then his old but trustworthy fur dryer.

Out of the bathroom with a towel slightly above the waistline he noticed how S was about to eat the last remainder that there even was a burger, the lettuce leave.  

“You know if you vould have moved to me instead of this ramshackle hut vee probably vould already have had a new fridge, premium efen.”

“Of kitty cat of course, and every time I can listen about how awful that last course was and the judge and the persecutor you read about didn’t knew anything about their job eh?”

“That really hurt you know” the voice playfully a bit down and spoken on purpose with his broken English.

Even if Ervin saw Snow sometimes annoying that would go on his nerves, and S saw the cat as a stuffed shirt that never knew when not to have the last word. They both had still one thing in common and that was not only being a Scorpio from their star sign, no, it was teasing and taunting the other until the very end.  But booth did that with knowing the others metes and bounds and when to stop.

“You know, Adolpho IS really nice, I don’t know why you two have such a fuzz over each other.”

Walking into his bedroom he decided to wear something comfy, casual jeans, and a hoodie would do today, better than a shirt the cat thought. Of course Ervin wore also his trusty blue white striped trainers

“Hmm I don’t know maybe it’s oh I mean, him alvays saying how much vork he has to do I mean visouth question he has vork to do, but like, he’s not the only one. And zen his constantly bragging about the stuff he IS doing.”

“That reminds me of someone I and you know.”

“Oh please I’m completely different.”

“Uhhuh.” The cat didn’t have to look at the white dog, he knew her eyes where rolling, probably staring also in his souls at the same time given the cold he felt suddenly in his spine.

“Case closet, where do you vant to go anyvay?”

<...>

It was the announcement of the bus driver that woke me up, end of the line, looking out of the window It gave me a shudder, this whole place whenever I was only near from it, it gave me the chills, but I’ve already decided to be here so. I step out as soon as I can, taking the backdoors of the bus naturally, I’m not really excited to explain myself if the driver asks for a ticket I don’t have.

Those woods, the starting point of a never ending spiral of tiredness, depression and being someone who knows nothing at all, it’s like a noisy TV only showing static in my head once I begin to stroll into the woods, the leaves are green, autumn still a bit away.

Whenever I’m here, out in the forest, I don’t wander off random, no, I only search for this one place, that one building that always haunts me, it was a factory. Did it produce cement, textiles or motor parts, don’t know, don’t care, at least not anymore. The closer I come the more tired I feel, I’ve slept quite much in my, apartment that became more a personal purgatory to me than a safe heaven and in the bus I must've slept around 45 minutes, given that it’s the time from my apartment to this end station.

It-

Hm-

And there she is.

Her presence, even if I’m not looking at her direction, I can feel, she is here.

I think it’s a she, or is she an it and it a she? I don’t know, all I see is white, and black and the eyes, of course the eyes that do not exist.

Whatever it is which I don’t know, it follows me, from all the maths I did, I think “she” is an hallucination, happening of all the stuff I took.

Ohoho and I took plenty, looking at my arms prove that, they are full, full of sometimes big, sometimes small injection sites, some deeper and some not so deep cuts, bruises, scratches, fur that's burnt or about to fall out and of course patches, Iconic, that for such a miserable being that I am, it’s those bandages for children that I have all over my arms and especially the fingers, the only colourful thing on this murderer that I am.

And she, she watches me, sometimes close, sometimes far, in the mirror, in the glass, behind a three in my TV. Do I still own that? Didn’t I gave that former birthday present to a pawn shop for some quick bucks for some quicker wasted heroin?

Gray, once again, static in my head. I don’t know what she’s trying to tell me with her constant watching, heck, I don’t even know what my own brain wants to tell me most of the time. Once it wants this than that but most of the time it wants pills, drugs and liquor oh and tobacco.

Most of the time I ignore this white being that follows me with its hull dark and empty sockets with a small hint of red in it, at least that’s what I see there from time to time in the hollow orbs.

My throat begins to scratch and I let out a heavy cough, lately with the increase of my daily consume of certain substances it has gotten worse, but it’s a curse I have to life with, of course I could go and seek help, but why should I? I was the one who already destroyed one innocent life on this world, so why not another? Why not myself so I can make sure ‘it’ won’t happen again, the murderer that murders himself, quite poetic isn’t it?

The more I come closer to the building, the more it aches me. On one side my body rejects what I give it, on the other it seeks, it demands the chemicals, the pills, tobacco and alcohol I put into myself, sometimes even so much, that I do not care for others, It’s not uncommon that I have to search for a new dealer after an “episode” of mine.

As good as I can, this old cat ignores this white, being, this ghost or illusion or hallucination or perhaps better this sickness of lost guilt that is haunting me for whatever reason, the pictures and memories are unclear about everything. I only know I did something, my mind rejects the clear pictures, only sometimes I see it but can’t make the dots, then I forget it was even there.

When I see her, well, sometimes I greet her, or I try to talk, but she’s mute, I can’t her a thing if she tries to communicate with me or something, and then her stare.

Yes those haunting black hollow sockets of infinite darkness that watch me with judgement of the sins I’m guilty as charged for, but I’m innocent, they made me innocent but I’m guilty, I’m for something guilty I don’t know I’m guilty for a crime I have forgotten, the murderer with drug forced amnesia, what a joke I am.

I reach the building, finally, it felt like aeons to be able to step into it, there is one thing about this old pile that we have in common, we are ruined and about to fall apart, we just don’t know the exact time nor date when it comes against us. When nature reclaims what we took from her.

Since when this building has been crafted, used and then abandoned, I cannot say, but its designed purpose it has long exceeded. I’m not the only lost one who apparently wanders here around from time to time, even if it’s not my most favourite spot.

Syringes, old tablet splitters, bottles and cans of alcoholic beverages are only a few of the messes that have been left around, someone even had the determination to bring a mattress here  into the second floor of this factory building.

Which is not the reason why I’m going up there, no by far not, more because whilst I actually am not a friend of this place I’ve hidden quite a stash here. Some drugs to swallow together with the sleeping pills and painkillers should do a good trip.

Letting out a hoarse chuckle I continue my walking, there are graffiti over graffiti everywhere in this building, black, blue, red, neon green it’s a play of colours drawn on a falling depressed canvas, a wall that once it breaks down takes the art with it. I don’t care for their meaning, I can’t even take care of myself, I don’t know anything about me anymore, sometimes I’m asking myself if the knowledge I have about myself are real or something I’ve dreamt, I do know who I was, but do I really? Since that day, that marks the anniversary today where everything was gone and broke down...who can I trust if not even myself?

When the medicine, my medicine by my orders not by a doctor are helping me, it lets me see the world like how I want to take it, not cold, grey, careless and depressed but artificial warm, a place of colours I haven’t seen for quite a time now, it lets me see the truth. The only colour I really care for is from those bandages for children, I don’t know why, but they are like one of the only things that are being in order in this broken, corrupted mind that’s engulfed in numbness.

After the last step on the crumbling concrete stairs being made I take my time to breath and look around on the second floor, there is a small balcony there, I can only guess it got probably used more for smoke breaks than to look at the view, looking down you would see a still semi intact inner yard with a concrete floor that got a bit torn open by mother nature.  The metallic handrails are trough and trough overtaken and or eaten away by the rust.

I’m tempted to go out there, looking at the sky and just, let my thoughts going around but, heh, I really need to find that stash of mine and secondly she’s out there too...at least that’s what I think, I do wonder, who she was that she is tormenting me like that.

Hiding stuff was never really something I was good at but, no one would really suspect a stash of my special tablet shaped drugs hidden under an old typewriter, to my luck they stayed dry and there is no mouldiness on them either. I shouldn’t, I really shouldn’t I became what I wanted to defend, but I need it, to get myself together, if only for a moment, to see the unseen that I want to see but at the same time not, my mind is scrambled like an egg and as fried as a potato. Normally you take those alone, but I don’t mind mixing them up with a bunch of painkillers and sleeping pills. It’s going to be a pretty strong cocktail I’m taking here, leaving me an extra sour and bitter taste in the mouth since I had the “grandiose” idea not to take a bottle of water with me, or at least a juice box.

I think, I think this is even the strongest yet I took, needless to say I’m excited but at the same time ignorant of what will come. My hands are shacking and I begin to scratch myself again like I did so often before on this place, I’m worried about this but the best is now, to remain calm and to rest a bit before my prime time begins. I see her now outside of the room she is watching me, watching me all the time with those dark hollow eyes. The eyes, it’s the last I see before my body puts itself to rest, for now.

<...>

“And the vorst of all of zhis is that- what is this place anyway S?”

“Uhm, I think it was an ammunition factory that closed down after WWII, but it also could also have been a soap manufacture, don’t know, don’t really care either.” looking at him with her tongue stretched out Ervin let out a sigh in the white furred dogs direction.

“Wunderbar, so vhen I step on a landmine I can-”

“Ervin, what did you say before, you wanted to tell me more about Germany.”

“Did I? Na wo war ich-… yes, I vanted to say that vee can’t even visit my relatives in the GDR any more because of my mothers paranoia.”

“Why, is she scared of the east? Scared that they will fire a nuke at her home?”

“Well given zat her uncle got shot near the vall and due of my fathers position she’s afraid that zee Stasi would let us in, pack us up and vee vould never see the daylight again.”

“Oh...and what does your father say about that?”

“Eh, he’s too busy to argue vith her, as a prosecutor he’s most of the time in his ehm...place where he works, you know vhere they are also holding trials, it’s called “Gericht” in German, damn I chould know this!”

“You mean a court?”

“That’s the vord! Most of zee time he has cases vith people that don’t pay their traffic tickets, how boring!”

But to all honestly, the striped cat felt the same right now, he wasn’t bored about being in the woods and near the old factory, no that was quite, interesting, but all the studying and learning was boring, perhaps he should’ve studied something different. But then there was that other thought about how he wanted to help the people with drug addictions when they faced judgement and trials. Since that day he saw those teenagers, sometimes a bit younger that himself there at the railway station in “Berlin Zoologischer Garten” But of course that meant he had to learn, what he did and tried as good as he can, he learned and learned and learned and-

“Say from where are you anyway, I mean yes West-Germany but where exactly from?”

“Huh, wa- uh from Saarland, the youngest state in West-Germany, then we, moved to Berlin. Honestly I’m glad vee didn’t got to be part of zee French-”

Reaching the old factory, Ervin made an abrupt stop of what he wanted to say, despite being in the woods and despite it already corroding and slowly taken over by wildlife and plants it was still a very impressive building.

“Many junkies or homeless are there but only at night, I never encountered anyone here, only saw the syringes and some stuff there together with a mattress on the second floor.”

Stepping inside the shadowy building with graffiti on the walls there was only one question for the law student.

“How come zat an honour student chooses this as her sanctuary instead of a library?”

Touching one of the said walls that was marked with the all to well known sentence “F*ck the police” and an Anarchy symbol together with a sign of peace the white dog turned around and the black but very much full of live looking eyes met the striped cat ember ones.

“Because it’s full of art!”

Spinning around with her arms spread the cat examined the room they stood in before letting out a sigh.  

“And drugs and dirt and rats probably...”

Like as if he was given her a wrong answer to a question to a teacher that was never asked in the first place, her eyes went from happy and hopeful, how she looked most of the time and how Ervin knew her, to a not angry or disappointed but rather annoyed with a hint of sadness.

“Did I-”

“Why are you so mopey?!”  

She did not scream at him at all, but the slight raise in her tone made Ervins mostly tired eyes went wide and he stared at her for a few seconds, processing the question she just asked him loud and clearly. Of course he knew the answer and he wanted to tell her, but he was tired, so god forsaken tired. As if he was having a headache, which slowly came to be he touched his forehead before exhaling a bit of air.

“You said on the second floor vas a mattress, lets go, I’ll tell you zere.”

S showed him the way by taking the stairs first, and whilst she did it with ease for him it felt like a trial as if every step was two metres high. Talking about here and there was easy, but talking about himself and his troubles beside the stress he gets trough learning, nearly impossible but here he was.

The mattress wasn’t, like he expected in best shape and full of unknown stains, but since it didn’t smell like piss or other extreme fluids he didn’t mind sitting on it.

“Why are you always so, so tired and grumpy and stuff Ervin? Is it me?”

“No, no,...So, you vant to know why I’m so mopey since like for veeks.”

She nodded

“And I don’t think any kind of deal makes you forget that question?”

She shook her head.

“Ok, ok that’s bad but fine, you know, zat super hard exam I had, that vas really important for zis semester?”

“Yes I remember, you locked yourself into your flat for nearly two weeks if not more and everyone thought you died so we called the landlord.”

“Heh-” the striped cat got more silent “-...I-I bombed it.”

“Oh”

“I mean the professor is giving me anozer chance, others failed too, but zat is the day after tomorrow, a-and I know I learned for it hard like the last time and I know I should know the answers, but If I don’t, o-or if he asks different questions. I-I don’t want to redo this semester, I’ve already planned everything for summer because of that part-time job zat I do f-for six veeks.”

Burying his face into his own hands the cat let out a painful sigh, he was done, done with everything and of course he had to open up about it.

“And I know you vant me to be on that party on the very same day, I know socializing vould be good for me and that you mean it well but, I can’t, I vant to but I can’t, even once I have done that retry, I’m a broken mess and probably...zum Aufstreichen and what if I have to re-do the semester and my parents have to pay more than intended? I don’t know vhat to do S, I’m sorry for being such a mess...of a friend.”

For a moment, it wasn’t probably long but for him it felt like eternity before he felt a slight pressure on the left shoulder.

“As if it’s the only party in this month, so what once you pass it you’ll be on the next.”

“I promised it to you, I promised to be there before you and start socializing.”

“So what, since when is it forbidden to postpone a promise? What counts is that you’re holding it the next time. Do that exam and write an A plus, plus and double plus.”

Once the cat swiped away with one of his sleeves what he refused to call tears he looked at Snow who looked at him with her friendly smile that even could burn a hole in the hearth of the coldest person living on earth.

“I promise, I’ll be zere, tell me date and time and I’ll be zere for you on that party, talking and laughing with at least ten people and one of those red cups in my hand.”

“There you are, I mean you don’t have to overdue it but don’t forget that a promise is a promise.” she playfully wagged with her index finger in union with her tail.

“I’ll be there waiting for you, a promise is a promise.” and spoke it out to his own surprise, without a hint of accent.

<...>

There was no other party, neither with her nor him and that day, it was the last time he saw her.

The fingers shook, the cat was trembling like as if on such a warm day in June it had minus fifteen Celsius. On the one side it was the strong mix of drugs and medicine that brought him into this state, on the other, it was his mind, he saw it all, once again what he tried so often to repress with drugs. He saw what he wanted to forget, he saw it all again and again. For a moment he still laid there in his fetal position sweating from all pores, his eyes fast going from left to right , right to left and bloodshot.

When he woke up, that next day, that one after the party, one year ago it must have been, she was gone, he called and called but she, no S, Snow, she did not answer and then, yes then It must have been only a day or earlier, there she was, found, stabbed as if she was Julius Caesar, and her eyes removed like some sort of ritual murder. The culprit never found and brought to justice of course. And whoever the being was that did it to her, it had to be a being made out of pure sadistic intention, so bad her body looked, found in hers and Alphs home.  

Weakly he gets up but not without holding on the wall where all of the paint was already faded away. He needed air, just a bit of fresh air, that was all that Ervin thought he needed right now.

Ervin himself was aware that due of his sometimes strange acting people might have assumed that he was the culprit of this perverse crime, so he wasn’t surprised when her former roommate had his suspicion against him. Alph, oh he didn’t took it easy either, he nor Ervin. But with time and countless interrogations it became clear that the striped cat was innocent and so was Alph.

It was a tragedy of invaluable measures and whilst everyone who knew her where mourning over their lost friend, there was also the relieve, that not Ervin or Alph was responsible that S was never seen alive again and what they all had to accept once the time passed, that she was gone, the beautiful smile the honour roll student had, forever erased from existence.

Everyone began, even slowly and painfully to move on, everyone except the cat, he wasn’t there, he should've gone with her, protected her to make sure this wouldn’t have happen, but he didn’t, he did his exam bravo then slept deep and tight trough the abduction of the person who the feline called good friend. He learned and learned and learned for a position that never was his to begin with and as a reward it took someone very close from him. And for that he screamed, cried and let his emotion take over the rational, until it was over and he a broken mess beyond repair.

Alph and the others talked with each other, got their help as a group they needed but Ervin, he began to become what he never wanted to be, once again he was a shut-in but with cigarettes, then alcohol followed by pills and weed and then the harder stuff, he isolated himself, he wasn’t guilty, in the eyes of the law or Snows friends there he was innocent, but in his own eyes, he might have had lost his guilt, but it was still there, eating him from the inside until nothing would’ve been left, but now here he was looking in shock and quite disgusted when he looked at the injection sides he did to himself and the barely and or poorly covered scratches that came with the stuff he took.

The messed up cat ran in his paranoia, his head and throat ached. Like a fountain of bad emotions his head was filled damping his other thoughts and senses making him feel as if he was about to suffocate.

Once again he saw this apparition of her, this illusion, dream, thought, drug inflicted piece of memory, ghost or demon, he wasn’t sure what it was but whatever it might have been that resembled like a death black holes instead of eyes having Snow he just ran past her to the old run-down concrete balcony with the rusty handrail that got enlightened by a slowly orange for this day vanishing sun announcing the night that was soon to come.

Anyone would’ve now expected tiredness or a silent standing man but the only witnesses, the birds around the facility, the bugs floating around in the mild summer warmth or the other animals that decided to step near the building got engulfed in a scream, mixed with sadness, pain, shock, anger, confusion, disillusion and regained memories followed by a violent, strong and careless shaking of the rusty iron where a guilt ridden Ervin cut his hands slightly due of the poorly aged metal that engulfed his as poor exposed skin.

It did barely anything to fight back against the former law student defenceless it took his shaking and later kicking before it came to a sudden end. His whole body felt unstable, he sweated, the drugs that got stretched by their creators with bleach and washing agent to use less of the actual stuff did their job together with a mind as fragile as crystal glass, the mind wanted to cry, but the rest of the body was too reluctant or too tired to fulfil this needed request. Still standing the cat turned its bag from the innocently bashed handrail and leaned on it, taking medium deep breaths of air in and out, in and out again and again.

When this thing, this creation of insanity and desperation that tried to resemble Snow, the dog he had known and seen alive one year ago approached him it happened slowly, and he, Ervin, he just watched. The long black hair, the white fur, once she looked normal. Then from one second to another a mangled, tortured, messed up, injured, probably raped and half skinned creature with sockets that lost their organs of visions who now where dark black infinite deep orbs with white dots approached him, naked of course with de furred breasts, exactly how the body was found in her own home, only a few knew it, only a few was told what was done to her in only a few hours of full torture.

But Ervin did by all logic not move and inch, he stayed there pressing his back with all his anger and sadness against the rusty metal and waited, if this apparition wanted his demise, he would not run away, or ignore it once again like he did so often, what good would if do to not face his own fears or the reality that was cruel but truthful he knew the facts and she did too, if he would’ve been there on this faithful day which was able to ruin his past, present and future, everything would be normal, and by all chances better. But it was not, and here he was, waiting for judgement, and it never came.

The being that resembled the canine he once knew just stood there in silence, and every time he blinked it felt as if her appearance would change, but always with a monotone expression that told him nothing of this being. To say that his eyelids and libs together with the fingers trembled and shook as if it was the coldest winter since 37 years was an understatement, but here he was the words he tried to form turning out to be pure gibberish. It took him a minute and around forty-five seconds until he was able to form the sentence he searched for.

“I-Im sorry S, I’m sorry, for m-” and in that second, before finishing the slowly, raspy and weakly spoken out sentence something gave up.

It was not the appearance that encountered him here on the old balcony

It was not his own brain cells who for god knows how long where finally able to make a clear sentence.

No, it was the atoms, the molecules of the metal that was exposed to water and air that with over forty years without any maintenance broke apart, and thus the handrail fell down together with the leaning cat.

In the short time frame between falling from the balcony that was set on the quite high second floor of the building and reaching the concrete floor that awaited patiently his blackhead to hit and crush on it. Time was nearly to not present, everything was slower than any slow motion effect in any film he had ever seen.

And just in this unfortunate moment and event in his live where he watched in pure shock above, where it, the dog ghost that resembled S looked down from the balcony to him falling, the cocktails of different pills and drugs kicked in.

The first thing he noticed that changed his view of reality in this bittersweet time was that the sky took another turn, it looked a bit like cotton, mixed with some new modern lemonade that looked as if a leprechaun barfed into it, the stars that during this time shouldn’t by all accounts not viewable flashed like small disco lights and turned around left and right making the whole sky appear like one gigantic kaleidoscope that once in a while got moved. It was fascinating but not the only part of his self inflicted trip that dulled and hulled the unpreventable truth of his demise.

When without any intention too look away from the sky his head moved a bit he was able to have a closer glimpse to the concrete ground that suddenly filled his ears with the sound of stones breaking apart. As if time was moving thousands of times faster, which only counted for the ground the concrete got big cracks and grass sprouted out of the ground that began to touch and hugged him like a soft cloud or down blanket, next to the grass flowers appeared and more and more of the building began to disappear and be replaced with flora. Like as if the accomplishments of his kind meant nothing to anyone and were taken over, no, rather reclaimed by mother nature itself.  

There was no sound when he fell into the grass no cracking bones or nerves that got cut or crushed, no organs pressed against his bones and no breath that left his body. Looking around he noticed how around his head formed a lake of a fluid that was as shiny and colourful as a rainbow and with a slight touch on his nose, he noticed how the same fluid ran out of his nose, ears and a bit out of his mouth too. He was, despite being caught in a trip, very well aware what actually was happening and what this liquid actually was, but he wouldn’t and most especially couldn’t care less what happened. He felt numb, none of his limps wanted to work any more, they where tired, so tired and only wanted to rest, a long deserved rest that they requested after one hard year of torture and pain created by their own nerves, mind and decisions.  

He wasn’t sure what it was, but it felt like some kind of “numb darkness” that whilst for now was only a weak presence felt as if it was going to grow stronger with time, but it was not the only presence near him.

S, the real one, at least if felt like the real honour student looked down to his face one he hasn’t seen what felt like centuries, it was not the emotionless face that sometimes he even interpreted as angry, it looked as if it had non ill meaning to him quite sad actually, perhaps feeling a bit of pity of his continuing demise. Stuttering a bit, but not like the last time he was able to form a whole sentence within seconds.

“H-hey do not cry Snow, it’s b-better like this, imagine me to die in a ditch in zee cold and dark heh.” as much as he did not want to but the smile he put up for some seconds was lost.

“There is only one regret I have S, zat I lost my guilt, no one blames me, I’m innocent by law but I’m guilty, I did zis, If I chould’ve been there, it’s zere zis lost guilt that consumed and fed on my, it chouldn’t be there, but here it still was and it still is. I-I understand if you can’t forgive me Snow, I vouldn’t either. I-”

His vocal chords suddenly stopped, but it was neither due of his blood loss nor the damaged brain or nerves, perhaps it was the drugs, perhaps the cracked mind he did not know nor could he care, but maybe it was really her who spoke to him, he did not know. Her voice, it felt like hers, but more soft and serious how it told him that there was no guilt to begin with, how she can not forgive him since there is nothing to be forgiven, that it is not his fault that it came to this, that it was not him who murdered her that it was her who felt sorry for him and that it was him, who should not be in such a position.

Ervin was speechless, and not only due of the increasing numb darkness that engulfed him more and more, it was rather more of the dam in his mind that finally breached and allowed him to cry, like the colourful liquid his tears ran down like a new formed river in a terrain.

“T-tha-ank you.”  

The numb darkness had nearly covered his whole vision by now, but Ervin was still able to see the white furred dogs face and how he slowly spoke those two words with his cold feeling lips

“S, Snow-”

Looking up to him, face to face to his friend, he wasn’t sure if this happened really or a trick in his decaying mind but it felt very real in those merely seconds he had.

“-wherever I land, wherever the road takes me, wherever I go, I’ll be there waiting for you , a promise is a p-promise...S.”

Those last words, as if they had a function of some higher realm coated him completely into this numb darkness, both his mind and body, but for once, since many months, since many days and nights and since the many hours, minutes and seconds of this one year he had been trough, he was able to feel a naturally warmth.

<...>

On this evening in June 1987 many things happened

On this evening in June 1987 fireflies flew around in the grass and woods to be caught  by young and old.

On this evening in June 1987 sundrops and primroses began to open to show their beautiful pedals  

On this evening in June 1987 crickets tuned their music together with croaking frogs in union

On this evening in June 1987, Ervin Niedmüller died with his guilt being lost.

~~~~~~

Tagging again: @stedilnik

With friendly greetings

The Bowlerhatwearer

[spaciousreasoning]

Where Do I Begin?

Continuing a personal history experiment, originally written in 1993.

There is a green volume that sits amid the piles of papers and other detritus that threaten to turn my study from an orderly little place into a cluttered whirlpool that will suck me into oblivion. Or perhaps, in a fit of spontaneous combustion, the collection of books and newspapers and magazines and other stuff will burn me to a cinder.

But the green volume contains much research material on the history of my family, or, more accurately, my father's branch of the family. I remain, sadly, more or less in ignorance of three-fourths of my heritage. Because my father’s parents divorced at a point when he was their only issue and he remained with his mother, I was not much in touch with the Banks portion of my family. I never really had a “Grandpa” Banks, though we occasionally visited him and his other family, including an aunt who was about my own age.

Explorations of family history were never high on the list of leisure time activities in the household where I grew up, so my ancestors were limited in actual practice to the grandparents I knew and some few of their siblings. There was no generation before them, as nearly as I was able to make out as a child.

So the green volume, when I first stumbled upon it in my parents’ home during a Christmas reunion of the family in 1990, was a double treasure. Not only did it connect me with the “lost” Banks part of the family, it went even farther than that, tracing our branch back to a gentleman from England who arrived in America before the middle of the 17th century. It told me plenty about my father's father, and his father, and his father before him. It even showed me pictures of some of these ancestors, one or two of the faces as eerily familiar as my own or a brother’s or sister’s.

Thanks to my youngest brother and his wife, and their three offspring, the Banks line is assured of continuing. There aren’t any promising signs from my other siblings, and my wife and I, although we have discussed raising a family, have taken no steps to begin one at this point.

Having fixed myself in time and space in relation to my relations, I am somewhat more at ease in beginning an examination of my life. I know that the world did not come into being on August 25, 1953, all else springing fully formed from the mind of God at the same moment.

Well, so maybe I don’t know that for certain. But, according to all the evidence I have been able to gather, from all the information I have consumed, it appears that 1953 was a not entirely routine year well before my birth date. Without benefit of research at hand, the only thing I can say with certainty that happened during that year was the death of Stalin. In some of my more bizarre moments I have entertained the thought that I may be the reincarnation of Stalin. I suppose that would mean that despite his heinous crimes against humanity, he fared rather well in being recycled, soul-wise.

With the assistance of reference works, I can also report that 1953 saw the inauguration of the United States’ first Republican president in 24 years, although Eisenhower was more a war hero than a partisan politician. A scant two months before my birth, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were executed, having been convicted two years earlier of passing atomic secrets to the Soviets. Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 1953. And turning to sports, the Yankees beat the Brooklyn Dodgers in the World Series, four games to two, and the Detroit Lions edged out the Cleveland Browns, 17-16, for the NFL championship.

John Stafford Banks and Barbara Jeanne Johnson had been married nearly one year when August 25, 1953, rolled around. John was 23. Jeanne, as she prefers to be called, was 19. Upon my birth in the Anderson County Hospital in Anderson, South Carolina, I weighed in at seven pounds, four ounces, and measured nineteen inches in length.

My father was set to begin his second year at Erskine Seminary in Due West, South Carolina, where he was studying for the ministry. Having enrolled at age 16, my mother left Columbia Bible College after just two years to marry my father, who was two years ahead of her. In the conservative, religious atmosphere of the place, love blossomed. The two of them attended numerous church services in order to simply spend time together.

During the genealogical fever that struck me when I first found the family history that Christmas, I went exploring in the mound of scrapbooks and photo albums my parents had. Among the many snapshots I did not recall having seen were many taken during their college days. The photos showed two earnest, serious young people on the verge of heading out into the world, starting their own family, and beginning a new chapter in their lives. They were not entirely without humor, of course. They were, after all, college students, and in the early Fifties, college students were fairly homogeneous, whether they were at big liberal arts schools in crowded urban settings or tiny little conservative religious institutions nestled comfortably in a rural atmosphere.

My parents had plans to become missionaries. The Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church, of which my father was a member, had missions in Mexico and Pakistan at that time. I recall meeting many of the missionaries to those places during their visits back to the United States. Some of them had been classmates of my parents.

But somewhere along the line, my parents changed their plans. Or had them changed for them.