#dont mind the 1 fucked up inbetween

[yamchazone]

3d to me

[dark-elf-writes]

Harry as a weapon being taught to be human inbetween by Tenya and Teddy. Tenya who holds his hands and kisses his scars (forehead, hand, arm, all the scars he can find).

Class 1A seeing this broken pile of teens, who came from a war where nothing changed in the end. 1A who swears to make it right in their own world. (Not all do. Mineta is removed early after Harry uses his money to payback the donation the boy’s family made so the board wouldn’t fuss. Bakugou who sneers at everyone and won’t see the broken teens as anything but failures. Who fights for himself like another blond Harry remembers who had the same money and entitlement issues.)

Hizashi loving the nephew they never met until now. Who curses out Dumbledore with a bottle of scotch and the warmth of old friends around them.

Touya and Percy working together to rip down Endeavour. Aided by Molly who snarls her anger. She’s been unable to help Harry (in her darker dreams she wondered why she’d suddenly forgotten about the bars. Why it only came back when Dumbledore died. She was scared to know why she’d brushed it aside. She won’t let it happen again). Molly who storms Natsuo’s dorm to give him a sweater, who hugs Fuyumi. Who meets Rei with a smile (and a cloak borrowed from Harry. Rei goes missing three days later after a visit from her husband. Fleur just so happens to have her aunt visit after)

Arthur works with Nezu and flourishes. His mind and skill clicks with the small mammal who finds delight in these wizards. Arthur who discovers a boy forced to spy and opens his arms to the child. Who loves and accepts.

Geroge who finds hope in Tensei and later finds his own mark shining (only half because his twin was always part of him). Mount Lady who smiles and struts but who also has been trying more. Who saw a boy run in to save another while she did nothing and feels the sting. Who settles her shoulders, deciding she would fight back (who fights with Midnight as part of their PR but both go to a bar to bitch about it after) Mt Ldy who sees her soulmate, and decides to truly change to prove herself.

Neville who left a grandmother whom never saw him and a family who hurt him. Neville who finds his way as a UA student. As a leader.

UA is happy to open its doors as a magical school, Nezu cheerfully talking with Minerva who decided ‘fuck it’ when most of the children she cared about left. She followed after lighting Dumbledore’s portrait on fire.

Harry who forgot what it was not to be a freak or the Boy-Who-Lived. Even those closest to him turned him into a symbol in the end. A banner. He was the figurehead of their war and the man who was born to save them. Born to die for them. They try to understand but it’s hard to break six plus years of indoctrination. Harry can’t blame them for it. He’s having a hard time breaking it himself. It’s easier with Tenya being so far removed from the wizarding world. Who only sees Harry as his Soulmate rather than as a Symbol. He treats Harry so gently, so kindly, and pulls him back from that edge he was forced to walk so long. That he would still walk to keep those he cares about safe.

All, or well most with a few notable exceptions, of 1-A are just as caring to their newest classmates. The Refugees Ginny dubs their little group with a laugh full of pain and black humor. They are refugees in a sense. Survivors of a war that they won but still somehow lost in the end. The few that stood up to fight. The children that coated their hands in blood when most adults offered them up like lambs for the slaughter. 1-A can’t understand really but they are trying to. It is worlds beyond what any of them have received before.

Hizashi is another example of that gentleness, and one that understands far more than 1-A even if they still dont understand all of it. They have been a hero for years now. They know the kind of toll that it takes on the willing adults that go into it with support and training. They can only imagine what it would do to unwilling children forced to become someone more than what they are so young. To do so with only each other at their backs to count on. They offer companionship (as much as they want to bundle Harry away from the world and protect him, to parent him even, it is far too late for that now. They will never forgive the people that made them miss that chance.) offer a listening ear offer a bottle of their best alcohol when Harry finally finally allows himself to get angry about what was done to him. They teach him every curse word they know and he hurls all of them at a dead man. They hold him when he breaks mourning dozens of deaths including his own. They sit with him through the nightmares, running their fingers through his hair and humming to try and keep them at bay. They should have been able to do this before. They whisper their own curses long after Harry has fallen asleep that neither of them had the chance until so much had been lost.

Molly who will never forgive herself for what she let happen to his babies, all of them even those not hers by name, right under her nose. Who has been nursing nightmares and migraines after the war that didn’t come from the battles and trauma. That overlay her memories of a kind if timid boy to show her bruises and too knobby wrists and her children yelling at her about bars on bedroom windows. She doesn’t want to think about why these are coming now. She already knows. So she throws herself into helping her newest son, whether the boy knows he is already a Weasley or not. Into helping his siblings. Into helping his mother. She failed her children for so long and she will not do so again.

Arthur who feels as if a fog he hadn’t even noticed was lifted around the same time Mollys nightmares started. Who is able to focus to notice more. Who still loves to tinker and build things but can now pay more attention to his children to the world around him to the scars that still sit prominently on his face. He is the one that notices the spy, eyes clear and mind sharp for the first time in what feels like decades. He is the one that pulls him into the fold and swears to protect him in the way he never could for Harry. He had failed his children too. It is not something he will allow to happen again.

Neville who steps into the role of leader of their little group of refugees knowing deep down that it would kill Harry Ron or Hermione to do so. He had been a leader for a year anyway, had kept those still in Hogwarts as safe as he could for as long as he could. Far more names would have been on the memorial if he had not. It’s not hard for him to do. It is something he can endure with a smile, as much as any of them smiled now. If he was honest with himself he sort of liked it. It isn’t anything he would have thought he would be good at before. It’s nice to prove that part of himself that sounds far too much like his grandmother wrong.

Nezu doesn’t even hesitate to open a new department of UA for his newest collection of pups. Doesn’t hesitate to welcome Minerva with open arms when she comes looking for them with sharp eyes and sharper claws wrapped tightly around her wand. She was willing to fight her way through to them. Nezu opens the doors and offers her a position teaching them once again instead.

[seungmin4president]

1:43

Contains: begging, degradation (slut, whore), spanking (fem rec), hair pulling (fem rec), unprotected penetration (dont do this if pull out game weak ❗), aftercare if you squint, praise, dacryphilia, overstimulation

Not proof read ❗

A/n: im going through a bad seungmin brainrot 😭

"F-fuck please more" you say inbetween moans "wan' more" "yeah? You want more? Fucking beg then" seungmin pushes your head down into your pillows while thrusting into you deeply and slowly "please seung please go faster" your mascara running down your eyes from your tears. Your begging only makes seungmins ego bigger, he smiles to himself knowing he's the only one that will ever make you cry like this, it gives him a even bigger ego knowing that you like it when hes like this. He smacks your ass before stopping "if you want to be a greedy whore do it yourself" "but" "that wasnt a question it was a command now go on fuck yourself on my cock like a good slut" you start to bounce yourself onto his cock but its just not enough for you, you want him to fuck you like the little slut you are "p-lease seung i cant wan' you to do it" you say as you pick your head up. Seungmin smacks your ass again and scoffs "you said you wanted more and now you can't do anything? Useless slut" seungmin then pushes your head back down at starts pounding into you in a fast pace without a warning making you scream "you want more? I'll give you more" seungmin pulls your hair making you head go back and he starts kissing down your neck while fondling with your beasts, making you see stars. "S-seung gonna cum" "cum then" he starts going faster as his hand goes down to tub your clit in circles making your eyes roll backwards as you came mumbling inaudible things "s-seung s' too much" "too much? Didn't you want more? Make up your mind" Seungmin says still thrusting into you, tears staring to form into your eyes because of the over stimulation, you hear his groans becoming small whimpers as he came inside you "fuck youre so good f' me" he lays on your back taking a strand of your hair out of your face as you feel his cock grow soft inside of you "so pretty all fucked out, my pretty baby" he was about to pull out when you said "dont, i wanna stay like this for a while" "ok my love, whatever you want' seungmin lays down beside you and kisses your neck "love you" "I love you too seung" then you both went to sleep like that

❗please dont copy my work❗

❗©️seungmin4president ❗

[shurislovernjoy]

Lay back for me

stud!shuri x fem!softdom!reader

Im a new writer so please dont judge.This was inspired by multiple peoples writing and letitia hitting 1 billion name views

word count:idk

****************************************************

Shuri isnt a person who understands the meaning of self care.She’ll find ways to care for everyone but herself.It almost hurts you to see.

Being together for 4 years meant the most to you.She was so good at everything.Being supportive,gift giving,and especially pleasing you.She always found a way to make you cum first.No matter how ruggid her thrust got or how tired her toung got.You always came first.

That needed to change , you lover her to much to see her tired all of the time.You walked happily down the hall staring at all of the family pictures down the way.Being taken aback you stopped to see a new one?Queen Romonda and tchalla.You thought of the queen as a mother you never had , she always told you sweet things like how you saved shuri and that you where perfect for her.You know how she’s watching over shuri and wants nothing more for her to be at rest.

Entering the lab you here the soft voice of griot “princess, y/n has entered the lab”shuri doesnt take a look towards you , instead she just smiles “Hello sithandwa sam ,why are you here do you need something “turning around quickly with a worried look and grabbing your hands.

“No my love I am fine”You giggle at her worries before kissing her deeply, letting go of her hands and letting them roam from her face and slowly down to her neck.She holds your waist lightly”you sure your ok”

“yes shuri im good”You let your hands roam lower to feel her waist skipping over her chest on purpose.”my love there are big windows in my lab , i cannot please you right no- mh”You start to suck on her neck purposely leaving a mark.

“who said I wanted you to please me “Gripping onto her waist you pull her out of her seat to sit her on the lab table knocking everything over.Shuri knew she needed this just as much as you do , as she decides not to fight and to let her hands roam.

You stop kissing her and start to undress her , pulling off her lab coat and shorts to reveal a sports bra and boxers.You start to feel a tight heat inbetween your thinghs causing you to clench then tightly.Laying shuri back you kiss her slowly going down ,making sure to leave marks in every area tou see.

You start to here light wimpers coming from her as you remove her bra. She hisses at the cold feeling of the air hitting her nipples. Making them stick up and you begin to suck and lick all around them.Causing her back to arch.

“shh intombi eswiti its ok, its ok”You rub small circles along her sides to soothe your queen.Speeding u the process you grab her boxers ,shuris eyes open , being suprised from the sudden tone change. You bend down inbetween her thighs and see what your working with.Shuris pussy was pretty and overflowed,her slick all on her thighs and lips.”is all of this for me love?”you bend down and lick her clit light enough for her to not feel it,atleast you thought.

Her hands shoot to the sides of the table gripping tightly ass she closes her eyes tigter , almost glueing them shut .”YES,yes its for you all of it my love please”.Your poor baby,being so busy she hasnt had a chance to love on herself at all, and you didnt notice.

You rub her thighs kissing the inside of them softly “I know , I know its ok ill have my mouth on you soon,and ill make you cum over and over, until this pretty pussy cant breath , is that what you want?”She wastes no time opening her eyes and looking at you, hands still gripping the table”ewe love ewe, ndicela unditye, ubeke umlomo wakho kum,I need you”

That was all you needed to hear as you quickly started to lick and suck all on her clit,leaving no space untouched.”f-fuck love y-yes”.You stick your tounge in her hole swirling circles around in it.Shuri grabs on your hair tightly ,you dont mind all you care about right now is pleasing her , your queen.

“am i making you feel good love?”You take to fingers and push them into her softly , wanting her to use her words”mhm your so g-good,p-please love harder please”Such a good girl you thought as you pushed your fingers in and out of her harder.Angling them to hit the right spot”Is this good love,hard like this?”She squeezes your hair tightly as her mouth changes to an o.”fuck yea just like that,fuck i-i-im gonna cum”

“no mami you better not , not yet”She shakes her head leaning it to the side”no? what do you mean NO”you drill your fingers into her while adding a third one.

“fuck no, no,no, i cant hold it y/n im sorry,im so sor-im cumming FUCK”at this point you want her to break your rule.You know your gonna punish her for it later.So you suck in every last drop as she fills your mouth with her cum.It tastes sweet like honey,loving the taste you watch her shudder under you as she gets overstimulated.

“im sorry y/n i-i couldnt hold it anymore”You walk up to her shuving your now white fingers in her mouth.”its ok baby its ok,i still have to punish you though love you know that”you walk over to the drawer of the lab pulling out a strap shuri had been working on.You knew it was for you but today was special.It used the power of vibraniam to have you feel everything shuri does.

Being to tired and blissed out from just on orgasm you thought she wouldn’t speak. “your not using that on me are you?”She looked at you from the table.”shuri walk to me please.”You lean on the glass window looking outside while attaching the strap to you.Nobody was there and you realized it was 2 in the morning.”love do you wanna kiss me?”She nods quickly the big height difference you to making you want to quit the whole dominant thing.

“im gonna fuck you,right now,and you will be good, is that ok with you love”She smirked lightly,still tired”yes baby,i will be good for you” You grab her hand taking her to the couch and sitting down,hoping shell get the pont.Thankfully she does and she drops down on your dick slowly grabbing onto your shoulders.”be nice please”you nod at the request knowing dam well that wasn’t gonna happen.

Shuri bounces softly and you watch,loving every bit of it.It makes you wanna switch places more often.Deciding to change the pace you grab onto shuris waist and slam up hard.You see her face contourt and loud whimpers come out of her mouth as her mouth slowly turns inti an o.

You slam her on you hard watching how her tits bounce in your face perfectly.Loving the sensation shuri keeps up with you bouncing at the same pace.Every jump a moan slips out her mouth.As she holds on tightly to your back.”f-fuck shuri your so wet and tight for me, sucking the fuck out if m-such a good girl”She starts to pick up the pacs as shes practically drooling”Yes im your good girl fuuckk im yours only yours yes mh-“

Shes cut if by one hard thrust at her g spot that does it for her.Her hips buck back and forth as she hugs you tightly,shoving her pretty tits in your face.The room is filled with her loud moans as she comes down from her high, but your still going and thrusting as your nearing your relies.”oh fuck,y/n yes right there,yes fuck me baby im yours cum all in me baby fuuuckk”just bawling at this point.You then feel your release you cum into your queen.

shuri gets off of you thights shaking as she sits down on the couch next to you,also exausted. “that was so good uthando, i didnt know you had that in you.”

“me either really but, shuri you cant keep working yourself like this.Your hurting me and mostly yourself,I get you need to protect wakanda but remember to protect yourself to, ok”you sit there teary eyed as you tell the woman you love how you feel,hoping she will give the right response.

“ok love,i am sorry”She hugs you tightly wiping your tears as you bury yourself in her chest.”now im gonna go run you a bath, cause we both know you cant do it”you laugh together as you walk away satisfied on how your day went.

@inmyheadimobsessed @generallysapphic @shurisneakers @shurima-roommates

[bigbumder96]

account introduction thing!!!??

ngl i feel a bit goofy doing this🙁forgive me if this is weird, im used to getting attacked on tiktok for literally nothing (i rarely use tumblr)

general:

name: darcie

age: im a minor😭

gender: girl (she/her :3 )

sexuality: lesbian

from/live in: england unfortunately😣 east london specifically, or essex depending on if u focus on the postcode or the london borough😭 officially its east london tho

interests:

tv shows:

- the inbetweeners

- white gold

- station 19 (still have to catch up on the latest episode lmao

- 9-1-1 (also still have to catch up one episode😭)

- fresh meat

- ted lasso

- heartbreak high (both the old version and the reboot !!! i dont prefer one over the other, although i do tend to post about the 90s one more lmaooo)

- friday night dinner

- this country

- call the midwife

- ackley bridge

- baby reindeer (i wouldnt exactly call it an interest, this show fucking traumatised me, but i watched it like last week😭)

- phoenix rise

- moment of eighteen (a k-drama btw!!)

- move to heaven (also a k-drama!!)

- there she goes

- benidorm

- skins (only gen 2 tho im afraid😞)

- the inBESTigators (dont judge lmfao😭😭😭)

- little lunch (i cant theyre js both such good shows)

- dodo (a cartoon)

- taskmaster (only season eight tho for the icon joe thomas‼️)

- mr bigstuff

- supacell

im currently watching derry girls and jamie johnson atm !!

films:

- the shawshank redemption

- the green mile

- goodbye charlie bright (my absolute fav omg)

- the business

- the football factory (theyre making the sequel to this at my school im so happy i love nick love films😍i didnt see nick love himself tho💔)

- good will hunting

- bohemian rhapsody

- dead mans shoes

- ferris buellers day off

- harry brown

- little miss sunshine

- the inbetweeners movie

- the inbetweeners 2

- white chicks

- the basketball diaries

- mid90s

- spiderman: into the spider-verse

- spiderman: across the spider-verse

music:

- alex g (fav song: too many to put here, but if i had to pick then prolly the whole race, trick, and rules album😭)

- tv girl (fav song: better in the dark, louise, and daughter of a cop)

- the fratellis (fav song: i honestly dk, i havent gotten that much into them yet😣i js listened to one of their albums and played fifa)

- the killers (fav song: read my mind and andy youre a star)

- the smiths (fav song: girl afraid, bigmouth strikes again, and this night has opened my eyes. guys i swr i liked them songs before they got popular im acc rly annoyed at the tiktofication of bigmouth strikes again and this night has opened my eyes😣)

- queen (fav song: spread your wings and long away)

- the stone roses (fav song: i wanna be adored and made of stone. basic i know😣😣)

- the jam (fav song: down in the tube station at midnight, david watts, and man in the corner shop)

- oasis (live forever. icba to type ‘fav song’ anymore😭)

- mac the knife (here to stay)

- mitski (why didnt you stop me, goodbye my danish sweetheart, me and my husband, your best american girl, once more to see you, etcetera…)

extras:

- im into football and i am a big arsenal fan !!!! my fav player is def martin ødegaard, and i may or may not be one of those deluded emile smith-rowe fans who think that hes gonna have a huge comeback and be like he was two seasons ago🤫🤫🤫

(edit: im gonna kms he left arsenal🙁)

i also support england as a country (obviously) plus a tad bit of dagenham amd redbridge, because they are my local ! (before you call me a glory hunter, ive supported arsenal since i was 3 because thats what my mum and grandparents support!!! also its a bit hard to support your local when not all the games are televised and you cant afford a season ticket, not to mention i had no clue who dagenham and redbridge were when i was choosing a football team, because i had no clue how leagues worked and i didnt gaf about football tbh💀)

- i like webtoons! my fav is jacksons diary, our walk home, and crystal city killers😱 (please does anyone have any cute wlw webtoon recs im so desperate)

- in year seven my drama teacher made us watch a play (on the screen, not irl) called slowtime but we didnt get to finish it💔my teacher spoiled the ending but i didnt care and tracked down the rest of that video bcs slowtime is such a good play i love everything abt it😍

- last year i was obsessed with this book series called football academy (written by tom palmer) and it was genuinely so good but there was nobody myp age cuz it was for kids💔i dont rly read them anymore, but the interest is still there if someone by chance has read them please contact me and have a conversation with me about it🙏🙏🙏

- i also have a very obscure interest about london boroughs??? like i dont even know a lot about them, i just love talking about/watching videos about london boroughs... i blame the lb guy on tiktok

i apologise as this was very long, and i probably wont even post that much😭 sorry for the yapping tho🙏🙏🙏

[unhingedkinfessions]

(guy whos not sure if he is bonnie fnaf kin or some noncanon kin or god forbid has smth to do w the aftons kinwise) i love fnaf's kin populace i think they all are either havign such a good time or are literally killing eachother with no inbetween. im intimidated from poking my kintype questioning self into servers bc of this but *waves* hi. i think bonnie shouldve been purple canonically not for fucking purple guy reasons shut up shut up shut UPPPP but because it's a good color. okay bye :v:

staring @ u from the inbox like this:

anyways . handshake emoji. i know im bonnie and i like. have some of mr. childkiller's memories cuz of like. springtrap. and all that. but every day i am terrified of kinning Any of the human ass characters, esp the aftons cuz oh my God.

also i dont mind blue bonnie but fnaf 1 bonnie is 100% purple. that thing is not blue. "its the lighting" no its NOT. the model itself is blueish (exactly like the movie, actually) but the texture on top of the model IS purple.

like yes im sure hes intended to be discord blurpleish color (esp since movie bonnie, the sort of Definitive edition of the classics, is the same color) but when the texture is slapped on he's literally purple. artwork and merch based off classic bonnie is purple. its not cuz its dark he justlooks like that!!!!

[myspineisthebassline]

can i ask how did you make the bo wyatt doll it's so pretty 😢😢 blessed my eyes

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! makes me happy that he makes you happy <:D i don't know how much detail you want me to go into so I wrote an entire novel srry 

Actually first I will direct u to the agosia arts YouTube channel because i love her and I used her tutorials on how to make limbs with clay parts and attach button joints > 

Clay doll playlist

Basic doll technique playlist

Video on sewing the cloth body

Video on attaching clay components 

Video on button joints

I made some adjustments to her techniques just to suit my own needs better. Also, the fabric and buttons I used are a lot cheaper than what she uses and I used oven bake polymer clay to sculpt the helmet, hands, and boots. More on agosia later

I started out by sculpting all the clay components - gloves, boots, and the diving helmet. this is a very "draw the rest of the fucking owl" moment but I cannot tell u my process w sculpting just please don't buy sculpey III that shit SUCKS to work with

After sculpting and baking the clay parts, I sanded them down and painted them. I also gave the boots and helmet a couple or layers of folkart gloss varnish bc Shiny (i am not sponsored by folkart)

I then made a fabric pattern around the clay parts i just sculpted. I went through a lot of drafts changing the proportions of the body, length of the arms and legs etc. i laid all of my pieces out together and moved stuff around until it felt proportional.

I traced the patterns onto two pieces of fabric, right sides together. the fabric for the body comes from an old t-shirt of mine. the fabric was very stretchy and it was a pain to try and draw a pattern onto it 8|

AS FOR CUTTING OUT THE FABRIC...I did what agosia did and sewed directly onto the lines, leaving open spaces at one end and one side of the pattern so the clay hand/boot/helmet what have you can be slipped in between the fabric. Keep in mind the size of these spaces so u can actually get stuff in there 

anyway agosias demonstrations are great so I won't say much else about how to attach limbs, I will stress that when sculpting the clay parts, they should have a groove around them that is deep enough for the wire to sit snugly. ur basically sandwiching the fabric inbetween the wire and the clay. I also hollowed out the boots and helmet so the end of the wire has a place to hide so it doesn't poke out of the fabric. As a side note, if you don't have armature wire or something similar u could probably use pipe cleaners, yarn or a strong thread to do this. or maybe a really strong glue

Mr. bo wyatt doll does have an armature wire skeleton so he's kind of posable. You don't really need to do that, but you can use pipe cleaners/chenille stems if you want the doll to have a little bit of structure.

Here's a little diagram of how I made the wire skeleton (bc I did not take pictures at this step) the wire in each of the limbs and body are pretty much free floating which affects the integrity a lil bit

(this diagram is. Bad. so let me know if something needs to be explained a bit more)

(incoming jumpscare of bo without the shawl) After the clay parts were attached to the fabric limbs I stuffed them by wrapping scrap yarn around the armature wire skeleton and then sewed them closed. This Is Where The Fun of This Project Starts.

Playing a game of where I want to sew the limbs onto the body (and then realizing I made one of the legs way too short. How in the fuck)

i ended up redoing the legs entirely and just added another 1/2 inch to the length of the leg pattern.

Bo has weird proportions I don't want to think too hard about but here's what he looks w/ all his limbs pinned in place

 he is so top heavy help him.

I attached the arms and legs to the body with button joints (insert agosia arts tutorial on that). It was a pain in the ass bc I dont have a needle that's both thin enough to go through the button holes and long enough to go through both ends of the dolls body. But at least the picture for this step is kind of funny. 

the state of my goddamn desk

Also u don't really need to do button joints its just another thing that gives the doll more flexibility. Just sew those thangs (arms and legs) on there (the body)

Ok now onto making the shawl yaaay. Yaaaaay. I looked up some tutorials on how to sew a poncho from fleece, this one was helpful to me. I did not measure the circumference of the helmet bc that would have ended up with a neck hole that is way too big, but I did measure the circumference of the base of the neck and used that. And also sewed a button to the back of the shawl so it would be easier to put the shawl on the body. 

I also did not feel the need to add a hood, but I did line the shawl with a blanket stitch w red yarn. I may add tassels onto it eventually bc it is the cutest thing in bo's design. To Me. Also I will mention that bo's shawl is still a work in progress, it came out waaay too wide so I have it pinned back until I have the time to make adjustments 8| 

Going off of the video I linked before, for the wingspan measurement, I just measured where I wanted the shawl to rest on the body and multiplied that by 2. Looking at bo's official art, his shawl reaches down to about his wrists ish??? Measuring this on the doll, I got 6in, multiplied by x 2 = 12in. But again it ends up w a shawl that is way too wide for the body. So u may want to go shorter than what you think you'll need

also I crocheted a little collar for the shawl... that I have yet to sew onto the shawl. this is an ~~artistic choice~~ bc i just like to draw bo with a knit collar. I like that you draw his shawl with a button up collar I think it would be very cute on a doll.

Ok that took me 50000000 years thank u if you read this far I hope to God this is coherent, helpful or somewhat interesting to read. Now look at him

[spiritgunpickle]

pet death / animal death / alcoholism /disassociation i think tw, it's just a personal thing but i have to write it later and fix it I'm just emotional right now. i'm jjust rambling. I just can't sleep

It's negative

I'm at 1 hour and 45 mins at 24% and I don't have the photos on this

laptop, so I'll have to come back and add them in, but I'm crying a lot right now and I thought I should write it.

I don't know how to start it, so I'm just gonna say.

Today, as I was walking up the pathway to the front door, the black cat from across the street with the little white spot on his chest came towards me from the porch and my heart stuttered for a split second before it came crashing back on me that you're gone bc I rreally thought it was you. I keep feeling like it's going to be a mistake, there's going to be a moment suddenly where you show up meowing at me for breakfast or I'll wake up and you'll be behind my leg

And then the realization hits again that that's never going to happen again.

It's like the feeling I had when I first moved in here and I kept thinking when am I going home, when am I opening the garage or going upstairs, or closing the window in the living room. I haven't lost the feeling, yet, but I don't think of that place as home anymore so eventually I know I won't expect to see you anymore.

I feel so selfish and when I was telling Nahaci about it because I was thinking for a couple minutes that maybe I could adopt the puppy she's trying to get rid of and instead of getting another cat, we would just have three dogs, I could tell she was unimpressed by me. She's feels pity but even if dad would allow the dog and the puppy wasn't going to grow up to be too big for me to handle or it wasn't going to be way too much energy to keep such active dogs mentally/physically stimulated, she wouldn't let me have her especially after hearing about you. I've had some sympathetic responses tell me I can't blame myself, so it was kind of surprising when she asked 'You're going to get another cat?' the way she did and it makes me not want to tell her anything, and makes me feel a little petty.

I really don't want another cat, though, I want to go back to when I was deciding I was going to leave you and Lady at the house with mom and change my mind. I could have said something like it would make the trip easier if I had one animal...... Ultimately it was one animal

But I was thinking of taking Lady because I didn't really trust her not to let her get out into the street if she got drunk one night and the gate didn't latch or something.. but I decided it was going to be 2 days and i would trust her for at least those two days. I left you with mom because she wanted to see you and she wouldn't get the chance for a long while after, but now what is it.

Now she gets the chance too often and it's like making her step on glass, the knowledge that the trip took you away is always going to be there, no matter how much I try to reassure her I dont blame her for it happening

I don't know what she tells you and I don't know what she felt towards you before and after. She had to see you in the worst state because I couldn't look at you and remember you that way. I still wouldn't want to and I couldn't but maybe if I had seen what happened I wouldn't have this strong feeling that you're here or you're going to be sleeping on my car, curled up on the chair, padding across the patio in the backyard. if I hadn't seen you unbroken the last time before she woke me up telling me you were dead, that she thought it must have been instantaneous bc of t he condition of your skull

But I felt like I was unraveling and I deserved it and I had failed the most basic fucking requirement as a pet owner, and I did fail. I got some responses, but the time inbetween what was said and what I was rambling about I was sure that there was no way.

Most of my overly emotional or lonely or broken things aren't important to anyone, I can't share a lot of it with my sisters because they're in the same boat and I don't want to hurt them with my negative feelings but whatever crying I might have done while I was holding you if you were still here, I didn't tell you all this so I don't know why I'm rambling so much

Maybe if I had taken my meds while I was down there I would have reacted more quickly to the idea that I needed to bring you in the house and set you up back upstairs, it really seemed like the balding was coming back so if you had gotten sick it would have been something you should be in the house for anyways

I can think of a lot of maybe scenarios but none of those matter

I took for granted you were going to be okay and this entire post is just a jumple of fucking.. emotional scribbling so I need to redo it because this isn't good enough but I'm writing it so I'll write it and then think of something more polished and heartfelt to remember you by

I'm just emotinal all of a sudden and thinking about you being here and how you first came up to me in the snow and then kept coming by the house and I don't know I don't think that. If we hadn't ultimately brought you into the house I'm sure you would have died sooner. You and that little black and white cat that I thought might be from the same litter as you would have ended up freezing or getting eaten or getting hit by a car... months before it happened. I thought once I got back I would see the little orange cat but the only one I see is the black cat and I wonder if he was a stray and got hurt, too

I think I prolongued your life but I don't know, you had lived months and months before we moved in and you were fed by everyone

I hate that couple that abandoned you to the streets because I think maybe if they had taken you with them you would still be alive and I wouldn't know any of this

Sarah doesn't know still

Neither does her neighbor who knew you as Richard

Your old owner who was so happy you weren't so shy anymore will never know either, but the other two or at least Sarah have to know eventually and I'm scared because I feel like I took a cat that didn't belong to me that was theirs and didn't protect him

I think of all the things I did while I was down there that were so complacent and lackluster and wonder if I even cared until you got hit

I still really want you here. I stillreally want a cat here, I feel like I need a cat, I emotionally need a cat, I love Lady and Hazel, but it's not the same, but I can't get a cat because all I really want is you and I know if I get a cat I will still just think about you, I will see that cat and think 'But where is Fancy' whether it's just the expectation or an actual thought, so I'm not ready for it, but I really do need a cat. I want to wait, I want to make sure I'm not still expecting you or time has helped me a little bit, but

I never failed as badly with any animal as I have with you and I wish you were here with me. Even if all that happened was you ran away and found another family, it would be better. If you vanished and I constantly called mom, even when she was as obnoxiously drunnk as she has been getting, just to see if she might have seen you or you had come back because you ran away when I was in Oregon, it would be fine. Knowing exactly what happend and knowing where you're buried and knowing you're never going to be with me again

Why can't you come back, I'm going to sound like a toddler and ask that

There should be something

I can't even handle this much, I'm pathetic but you never should have been made to suffer such a terrible pet ownere why didn't I just make sure you were in for the night at the very least I don't know when it happene maybe you would have been okay, maybe it was that fucking monster that likes to speed through at 2 in the morning and you would have been okay if you hadn't been outside

mom thinks it was a construction truck and because of that i hate the construction site now. whatever work they do around the area i'm always going to remember it might have been one of their fucking trucks

I'm really floating now so I have to stop because I can'tell my hands are attached to my body

[slutforwings]

books i read in august and what i thought of them because apparently i do that now

they both die at the end - adam silvera (YA)

spoiler alert: the title. this book takes place in a world where people are called up 24 hours before they die, so they're semi-prepared. it follows two teens who both got the call and spend their last day together. really cool concept, imo it could have expanded on the worldbuilding even more, but i guess the focus is just the main characters. and it did that really well! the romance is a bit cheesy, but what gripped me personally was the grieving yourself and future plans that will never come to fruition. 4/5

to kill a kingdom - alexandra christo (fantasy)

little mermaid inspired, sirens kill one human per year, the sea princess only kills princes. one of the princes is determined to kill this siren he's never seen. the siren gets turned into a human for plot reasons and finds out killing the prince determined to kill her might not be that easy. i reread this a year after my first year, it felt a bit more rushed the second time around. that said, i just love me some fairytale settings as well as ambigious morality and betrayal. i don't regret the reread. 4/5

the invisible life of addie larue - v.e. schwab (fastastical fiction?)

girl sells her soul and becomes immortal BUT everyone forgets her as soon as she's out of their sight. after 300 years of this, she meets someone that does remember her. once again, i was more in it for the concept than the romance. beautifully written, and a really good execution of the concept. i pirated it but ended up loving it so much that i bought a physical copy so yknow. 5/5

the memory police - yoko ogawa (fiction)

a town where things keep disappearing and the population forgets about them (perfume, birds, etc). some people don't forget, but remembering is strictly forbidden by the memory police. i dont want to say much more because it's once again a great concept and just a great book overall. to me it felt like an allegory of dementia or maybe depression, but you can really fill it in for yourself. really interesting read. 4,5/5

witches abroad - terry pratchett (fantasy)

12th discworld novel, can be read as a standalone, basically: 3 witches have to make sure the story of cinderella doesnt happen, but stories have a way of forcing their hand. a different witch doing everything to make it happen doesnt help of course. one of my favorite discworld novels so far, incredibly funny but with great life lessons a la pratchett. loved the witches as annoying tourists. for some reason took me a bit to get into it, but after that it was smooth and uninterrupted sailing. 5/5

where the crawdads sing - delia owens (fiction)

the life story of a girl growing up in the marshes of 1950-1960 north carolina, whose siblings and parents leave her at a very young age, alongside a murder case in 1969 (hah) which she is the main suspect of on account of living alone in a swamp. reading it felt like watching a movie, you can picture everything so clearly. unique reading experience. loved the themes of solitude, independence, and of course the intrigue of the murder in the future, woven inbetween. 4,5/5

cinderella is dead - kalynn bayron (fantasy)

dystopian society that every year has a ball to honor 200 year dead cinderella, girls have 3 balls to get chosen by a man, if not they're considered slaves to the patriarchy and basically disappear. one girl in love with another girl wants to overthrow the system. this book sucked ass. this is why you don't read books purely because they're 'queer and with diverse characters!'. the worldbuilding didn't make any sense, every man was such a caricature that it felt like the author was beating the point of her novel in my head with a fucking hammer. most annoying main character i've ever had the displeasure of reading. every other character existing to make the mc look good. i could complain about this book for years. don't read it. 1/5

out of my mind - sharon m. draper (fiction)

story of 11yo melody, who has cerebral palsy, is incredibly intelligent, but cannot speak. her frustration and trial to communicate with the people around her, some of which treat her like she's braindead. very moving novel, teared up a few times, had my heart racing alongside melody's at certain moments. puts you in the often extremely frustrating shoes of a disabled girl, a good reminder to never underestimate people. 5/5

ariadne - jennifer saint (historical... fiction?)

i think it's safe to say we all know ariadne and her role in aiding theseus through the labyrinth to slay the minotaur. so it's that. except told from her POV. and longer. and with added extras everywhere because her tale was not told in that much detail. i really enjoyed it, its advertised as a 'feminist' novel but its done in a not annoying way imo (AHEM take notes cinderella is dead). also at one point she gets a bee necklace from daedalus and im dying to get one too but googling 'ariadne pendant' does not give me what i want 4,5/5

[obsessive-ego]

Sweet dreams part 2

Part 1

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Nsft content

Reader gets a wet dream while sharing a bed with their good pal beetlejuice

Voyeurism, masturbation, dubious consent

It's been a few days since the whole wet dream episode, you can still remember it like it was yesterday, as twistedly hot and awkward as the while thing was, the real awkward issues were the following morning.

10am your phone buzzes, illuminating the room, the mattress shifts, as you reach for your alarm you hear beetlejuice groan "shut it off babes, 10 more minutes".

Youd normally agree to that, but after what he did last night youd like to change you pants, and wash the sheets.

"Sorry Beej, wake up, I got shit to do" you nudge him, hoping he would let you go, no dice, he groans and tightens his grip on your waist.

"Sweets, it's so warm here, you have the day off, humor me".

"Sorry, I need to be an adult today-"

"Oh sugar, you can easily be an adult in bed~" his gravely voice drops to that seductive tone that makes a shiver run up your spin, this bastard was gonna be the death of you, you mumble an apology and pull away from his grip. Slinking out of bed you grab a pair of clean pajama pants and head to the bathroom.

Beetlejuice sighs, he'll get you one day, he pats his crotch, feeling the wet spot from last night, did you not notice last night? Did he wake you? Probably not, as least he thinks so.

He couldnt help but smile remembering that dream, he dreamt of you often, last night was a good one, guess having your scent so close triggered a REAL juciey wet dream, he sighs completely content, the image of you bouncing up and down on his cock, being so pretty for him, saying how much you loved him while he played with your breasts. Of course he figured it was a dream and really escalated it, pounding up into you at a punishing pace having you in tears over how good it was, beetlejuice couldnt help but drool remembering such a fun dream, but now wasnt the time to rub out another one, maybe later. He perked up hearing clattering in the kitchen, meaning you were making coffee, with a snap of his finger he was right beside you, he must of caught you off guard cuz you visibly jump.

"Did I scare you sugar~?" He purrs

You dont respond, your face was red, being this close to beetlejuice after him cumming on your backside in his sleep was too much too soon, you felt so awkward and embarrassed you thought your heart was gonna burst

"I know, I know, you're not a morning person, I'll check again when the coffee kicks in yeah?"

The whole day you would flinch when beetlejuice touched you, you couldnt even look at him, you weren't mad, just embarrassed. But of course he took it as you were upset with him, the day was weird and awful, but you couldnt stop yourself, you kept thinking back to last night.

When It came to the time when beetlejuice had to leave, as Lydia was summoning him, you gave him a goodbye handshake instead of the hug you normally do, you immediately regret that choice, seeing the purple hue that has taken him over, and with that final image he was gone, nothing left but green smoke.

In the last few days you've had time to calm down, and release the built tension. But today was yours and beetlejuice scheduled movie night, he was quite down when he left because of your actions, would he even want to DO movie night with you anymore after how weird you were? You paced the floor, mind flooded with negative scenarios of how the best thing to ever happen to you would never want to see you anymore.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you phone started buzzing, caller ID lydia

You frown, and accept the call "hello?"

"What are you wearing?~"

You sigh, he was using her phone again "beetlejuice-"

"OH sugar you will be wearing me when I'm done with you~" he moaned

Knitting your brows together, not quite sure what he ment, but not wanting to know, before you could reply, BJ starts again

"So are we gonna do this or not? Babes you're giving me massive blueballs" in the back ground you can hear lydia yelling for her phone back and for you to hurry up and summon him.

Taking a deep breath and composing yourself you summon your friend, your apartment is filled with green smoke, you cough waving the smoke away, once the smoke cleared there stood beetlejuice, normally he would pull you around like a rag doll, or dramatically dip and kiss you as a greeting, but tonight he just stood there staring back at you.

You give him a soft smile "hey I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other day, I wasnt feeling too hot, and I acted super weird, I'm sorry if-"

Beetlejuice pulls you into a tight hug, guess that's all he needed from you?

"Thank god slash satan, Babs said you were probably feeling sick, I was SO worried you were sick of me Dollface" he nuzzled his head into the crock of your neck, you audibly gasp while the ghoul babbles about how worried he was about losing your friendship, you felt so rotten about it, but it's in the past and you two can move on.

Movie night was the same as it was, enjoyable, you order pizza and Beej scares the piss out of the delivery guy, it was nice to be over the awkward bump.

As it got late you told beetlejuice you were turning in, you got changed in the bathroom out of habbit, returning to your bedroom you saw the demon in your bed motioning you to come hither, you could feel you face getting warm, memories of the last time you two shared a bed came flooding back, you take a deep breath and go over.

"Come to daddy sweet thing~" beetlejuice coos with grabby hands

"Gross" you utter as you slide in next to him, your bed was a twin so there wasnt much room for personal space. Without a second thought beetlejuice wraps his arms around your waist as he spoons you, nuzzling his face in your hair.

"So warm" he mumbles, this is gonna be a long night, you could already feel the heat building inbetween your legs, none the less you close your eyes and try to empty you mind in Hope's sleep will come fast.

...

Beetlejuice is woken by your squirming "what's up sweets? Gotta pee?" No response, he give you a gentle nudge, nothing, he chuckles, you must be dreaming. Your breathing becomes harsh, panting as you squirm a bit harder, bumping your rear into the demons crotch.

"Whoa sugar, you alright?" He whispers, you quietly groan, then it clicks, you were having a wet dream, the ghoul couldnt help but drool at this, here you were, his cute little breather about to become a hot mess in his arms, WHILE HE'S VISIBLE.

You begin whining, while you squirm, bumping your rear into BJ's crotch at a nice steady pace, the demon was over the moon with this, his hair so bright with excitement and arousal, the room was illuminated an electric pink.

"What are you dreaming of sweetheart?~" he purrs, as his hand traces your thigh. "Pretty mean of you to give me a boner like this sugar, hmmmm, is this revenge for cumming on that cute butt of yours the other day?~" he couldnt help but chuckle at that last part.

Bucking harder against him, beetlejuice bites his knuckles to keep himself quite, stifling a moan, fuck this was so hot, should he let you sleep, or wake you up? Waking you up could be a good thing, maybe you'd wake up feeling incredibly horny and need him to pound you silly, or more likely youd be sick to your stomach with embarrassment, the demon is pulled from his thoughts by your voice, a tad louder then before.

"Beej, please" you moan softly

"Sweetheart" beetlejuice gently nudges you, no response. "Sugar, relax let your old pal mr beebleboose help ya out~" he purrs softly.

Beetlejuice gently snakes his hand to the front of your panties, gently teasing the folds of your sex with a single finger, the friction alone made you whine and buck hard, beetlejuice carefully pulls you close to his chest, so his now hard dick is resting nicely against your butt.

"Alright, I got you, this is the least I can do sweets" he cooed stroking your sex, you whine and buck, bumping your rear into Bj's cock, the ghoul bits down on his knuckles to keep himself quiet, this was too good of an opportunity to ruin.

"Beetlejuice..... so good.... ah" you mumbled thrashing a bit harder, god slash satan did beetlejuice want to grind his cock into your ass, but he was already pushing his luck as it was with his hand on you crotch.

"Feels good doesnt it sweetheart? You like it dont you? Naughty little thing~" he whispered, he knew you liked him, he's herd it straight from your mouth, the few times he's watched you touch yourself, you spelled it out nice and clear, that being said he knew you were a coward with your feelings, that was fine for now, he could wait till you were good and ready to admit it yourself, but until that glorious day, beetlejuice didnt mind taking what satisfaction he could get from you.

This, right now, having you moan and buck from his touch alone, having you grind that cute ass against his cock was like heaven, or as close as a born dead demon was gonna get.

"Come on y/n, I know your close~ how bout you cum for your old pal mr beebleboose?~ cum for me sugar, give me all you got~" he purred stroking you folds with a bit more friction along the crotch of your panties, which were now delightfully wet, what beetlejuice would give to stick that delicious garment in his mouth, the thought alone made him drool.

"AH!" You moan out, buck your hips in a clumsy rhythm "beetlejuice...." you softly whisper as your movement slows to a stop and your heavy breathing slowly dies down to a more calming pace.

The demon smiles to himself, proud of what he did, more importantly feeling smug about how you said his name when you came.

"Was it good sugar? Did daddy make you feel good?~" he cooed "pleasant dreams babes" the ghoul whispered placing a gentle kiss on your head, you mumble something unintelligible, beetlejuice couldnt help but smile.

But now to a more pressing matter, you might have already came, but BJ, not yet, the demon slips away from your sleeping form. "You know how I am a gentleman sugar, I couldnt possibly jerk off in your bed with you there twice in one week" he chuckles. The ghoul glances around the room for something to help him out, a new cum rag for the collection, beetlejuice had no issue seeing in the dark, and went straight to your laundry basket, pulling out a freshly wore pair of black panties. He holds the cloth to his face, inhaling your delightful scent, then it hits him, his hand, the hand that ever so gently jerked you off, this was gonna be real good, he hummed to himself strolling out to the living room where he could get away with making alittle noise.

Bonus

Your phones buzzes, 10am

you groan reaching for the device.

"Good morning sweetheart" beetlejuice pulls you back into an embrace, weirdly giddy this morning "did ya sleep well? Have any pleasant dreams?~" he cooed

You knit your eyebrows together, were you talking in you sleep?

"I guess? I dont really remember" you mumble.

Beetlejuice gives you a big toothy grin in response

"Well doll, you were moaning out my name last night begging me to fuck you~" he laughs

You punch him in the shoulder, yeah you did feel tingly between the legs, but he had to be joking "I did not you ass"

The ghoul continues to laugh as you slip away to start your day. The dense ones were always the best in his opinion.

[langstforthesoul]

Klangst

Not What I Meant by: Dodie Clark

TW: Intrusive thoughts, Langst, Klangst, and generally just sad-

*Lance was having a hard time adjusting after Keith came back with his mom, the others brushing him off to go get Allura away from the treacherous Galra Prince. He knew this was far more important than a simple ‘Hello’ from the now apparently older and very much taller blade member. He had this bitter feeling pooling at the bottom of his stomach as he watched everyone rush out of the ship bay to try and contact the princess. ‘Why am I feeling like this?’ He felt the rage and bitterness slowly boil up but he shoved it back down, pushing it aside to deal with it later. He knew that wasn’t wise, but what else was he supposed to do? He had to help with their Lotor situation, despite knowing he wouldn’t be much help.

Skipping forward to after Lotor escaped, everyone had gone their separate ways. Lance wandered around the halls of the castle, lost in his own thoughts, speaking to the stale air as he went.*

Lance: *He had his arms crossed over his chest, the bitterness and anger slowly boiling backup from earlier now that he was alone (or so he thought)* Let’s find out just how far I’ll go, to look like someone you should know.. *he continued on, knowing he needed to get what he was feeling off his chest but not knowing how. ‘Maybe training?’ He thought as he made his way to the direction of the said room.* Maybe I’d sound a little better *he absent mindedly ran his hand over the smooth and very well taken care of skin on his face.* Maybe I’d look more sweet?

*The brunette had walked all the way to the training room only to hear the clashing of a sword against metal. He peeked inside to see Keith and Shiro training together, moving in what could only be described as a dangerous dance of violence. He watched in slight awe before turning to leave, only to pause when he felt the bitterness make its way into his thoughts.*

Lance: *‘Keith just has to always be number 1 huh? No wonder Shiro prefers to train with him.’ His mind spoke with a tone that sent shivers down his spine.* His mind has already been made up, he saw my number and my number is just never good enough. *he let out a soft but sad chuckle as he walked away from the training room door. He turned on his heel to make his way toward the kitchen, his stomach rumbling in agreement of the idea of a snack.* I’ll fight a little better *He felt a small smile tug on his lips.* If I’m willing to compete.

*Keith paused in his movements, hearing the tapping of shoes walking away from the room He and Shiro had been in for the past few hours. He looked at the door for a brief moment, confusion crossing his features. Shiro, ever the concerned father figure, got out of his fighting stance and looked in the direction that Keith was looking.*

Shiro: Keith? *He gently nudged the dazed boy, his brows furrowed ever so slightly in concern.* You ok?

Keith: *He looked over at Shiro then back at the door, blinking for a second.* I could have sworn I heard Lance outside the door… *He rumbled, shaking off the bad feeling he felt. He jumped when he felt the cold metal hand of Shiro’s prosthetic arm touching his shoulder.*

Shiro: Maybe go check and see if he’s alright? I’m sure you could use a break anyways. *He watched for a reaction from the ravenette, knowing the response he was about to get all too well.*

Keith: *He shook his head and nudged Shiro’s hand off lightly.* I’ll do it if I have too, maybe find an Inbetween..

Shiro: *He let out a chuckle and gave Keith a teasing look, slightly shoving the younger shoulder.* Not what I meant when I said, maybe just see if he wants to be seen?

Keith: *He simply rolled his eyes, walking over to the area he set his things aside to and swiped his towel.* I don’t get what you mean but I’ll go check on him. *he wiped the sweat from his brow and walked out of the training room, leaving a chuckling Shiro in his wake.*

*Lance had made it to the kitchen without bumping into anyone, only wanting to grab a quick snack and going to the observation deck where he could drown in his thoughts. He heard humming as soon as he entered, seeing his best friend whisking away as some alien ingredient they got from their last supply pick up. He gave Hunk a smile before grabbing what he needed and leaving without saying a word. Hunk was confused but only shrugged it off, thinking it was only to get back to whatever Lance was doing before.

Lance was back in the halls once more, feeling the chill of the crisp air as it shifted to the night cycle. His mind slowly began to wonder off again, consuming the silence with the loud shouting of his thoughts.*

Lance: *He let out a shaky sigh, running a hand through his already mused hair. ‘Y’know that He only cares about Pidge and their inventions now.. You shouldn’t bother him. Stay on the right path, McClain.’ His mind shouted at him.* How am I meant to stay on track? When each hand I shake will pull me back? *He gripped his hair, trying to keep his breathing steady as his vision blurred. ‘You’re not working hard Enough! You HAVE TO TRY HARDER!’ The thoughts rang louder each time, causing a sharp pang to run through his brain.* Oh, I guess I’ll work a little.. maybe walk a little less.. *When he finally arrived at the observation deck, he breathed out a sigh of relief. Though that hadn’t lasted long, more intrusive thoughts, one more worse than the one before. He tried to force a smile, tell himself that he’s good enough and that he’ll always be good enough but…* And in the end I feel proud! I grit my teeth, and follow that DAMN crowd… *the smile he forced slowly began to crumble.. ‘You aren’t going to make it back home, this war is going to take you away forever!’ That one made him flinch, tears welling up in his eyes as he forcefully wiped them away.* Will I have grow a little empire or made another fucking mess? *That drew out a sad chuckle from the Cuban, a tear slowly slipping down his freckled cheek. ‘You should just leave McClain! Nobody needs you here so why stay?! YOU’RE REPLACEABLE!!’* I’ll do it if I have to…

*Something Lance hadn’t realized was that Keith, his supposed rival to close friend to crush, was listening outside the door. The ravenettes eyes were wide with shock, the feeling of dread cording through him as he listened to everything Lance said.*

Keith: *he placed a hand over his mouth, trying to steady his breathing while staying as quiet as possible. ‘How long has Lance felt like this? Did he really..?’ His mind was racing with one question after the next, resisting the urge to burst in to confront the former blue paladin, to try and figure where all this came from and how it started..*

*Lance slid down to the floor, his knees giving way underneath him as he held in a sob that rose from his throat. He didn’t want to make a sound in fear that someone would hear and feel that they had to come and check. He didn’t want to be a bother any more than he felt that he was. The two boys, one unaware of the others presence, stayed silent for a few moments until the Cuban continued.*

Lance: *His voice came out thick, tears seeping from his eyes as he stared at the stars with blurry eyes and a shaky smile.* Hoping for an Inbetween… *’You shouldn’t draw attention to yourself, don’t make the others worry about you. They already have too much to deal with.’ He let out another shaky breath and pulled his knees to his chest.* Not what I meant when I said that I wanted to be… *A soft sob escaped his trembling and bitten beyond belief lips, he shook with each sob that escaped after the first, finally letting go. He lowered his head and murmured under his breath.*...seen.

Keith: *’I can’t just keep standing here! Lance needs comfort!’ His emotions were getting the better of his rationality, having a war going on in his mind. ‘What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if I make things worse for him?!’ He shook his head, as if to shake away the thought. ‘It doesn’t matter, he needs someone!’ The next words he muttered under his breath..* I’ll do what I have to.

Lance: *He tried his best to calm down, still not noticing a certain mullet head about to enter. He ruffled his hair and gave a wet smile to the stars.* I’ll keep it to myself..

Keith: *He finally made a decision, turning on his heel and storming into the room with a fierce determination that he only showed when he was about to go on a mission.* This is the Inbetween.

Lance: *The male jumped, whirling around at the source of the new voice, surprised to see a very fierce looking keith quickly approaching him.* K-keith? How- W-when- H-how long have you been listening?! *He yelped, suddenly in Keith’s arms as the ladder held him in a tight vice like hug. ‘I must have seen that look somewhere before-‘ his thoughts were interrupted when Keith suddenly spoke after a brief pause.*

Keith: *He held the Cuban as tight as he could without hurting the other, burying his face into the others neck.* I finally know what you meant when you said you want to be… *he inhaled a shaky breath and pulled away to face Lance.*

Lance: *He could watch in awe, some tears still falling but Keith kissed them away as soon as they did.*

Keith: *he gave Lance a sad smile and cupped the others cheek with his, sure to be, rough hands.* ...Seen..

Authors Note:

Uhhmmm Hi? I hope whoever reads this enjoys! I’m considering on writing a part two to this, but I dont really know what song to do.. That’s where you guys hopefully come in! Feel free to drop some song recommendations in the comments and I’ll go through and choose one! Also feel free to comment any notes or Mistakes you see, I would really love a second opinion on this writing! Anyways, I hope you guys have a good day/morning/evening/night! And Stay safe out there!!

[si-nging-ren]

*CRACKS KNUCKLES*

okay. ive decided im going to discontinue the jirou x reader fanfic "wrong number, my bad" for a number of reasons that i will get into in a bit. i have also, however, decided to create an smau for hawks (probably not, but who ive decided on for now) x reader, based on something more personal about me. the goal of the story being more personal is to give me a better layout for how it should continue on and the feelings can be more genuine than me making up stories on a whim and hoping they work. i will give out the plan for wnmb, however, so that anybody interested can still understand how the story wouldve ended.

now as for why im abandoning wnmb.

1. i dont feel the energy to write it anymore. i dont like where the story is going, and with my current mental state and status at school, i dont have the ability to start over or try again. i font have the ideas for the story and just dont vibe with it.

2. mental reasons. i can't stick to the schedule i made for the story as well as i used to be able to, and also personal mental health reasons that sort of keep me from doing so.

3. there are personal life reasons that cause this, but jirou has slowly evolved into somewhat of a discomfort character. i dont want to get into the reasons as to why, but i dont like her that much and bad memories come up whenever i try to sit with her in my head for too long.

thats really all for why i dont want to continue wnmb, but for anybody interested, here was the plan as to how the story was planned out (via notes):

- [x] yn and mina and ochaco do be talking doe

- [x] basically introductions

- [x] same with jirou baku toko yaomomo and denks

- [x] but THEN

- [x] yn and jirou talk :DDD

- [x] jirou basically says that theyre not annoying

- [x] yn says their typical clown shit

- [x] "aidjskjdh thanks you daddy 🥺"

- [x] jirou doesnt answer for a wholeass hour

- [x] "sorry had to go to church and clense from that sin"

- [x] "o-oh okay 😔 daddy doesnt love me"

- [x] "there are so many things wrong with that"

- [x] "😳😳😳"

- [x] "im starting to wish that i blocked you"

- [x] "nONONONONO IM SORRY"

- [x] "nyways what did you wanna talk about d-"

- [x] "......."

- [x] "arling :)))"

- [x] poor jirou just wanted to know about who they are

- [x] "name, hobby, talent, interests, whatever i just wanna know about you"

- [x] yn hops over to twitter all "omg theyre so sweet 🥺🥺🥺"

- [x] naturally ochaco and mina are all "fake bestie wtf are u talking about"

- [x] yn is laughing awkwardly and is just,,, "oh nothing 😳😳"

- [x] (nobody believes them)

- [x] then they ask about jirou but she has to give false info

- [x] except for her gender its fine if she says that

- [x] she hops over to the squad

- [x] panicking

- [x] "guys wtf i think i just committed a crime"

- [x] "nono youre fine what happened"

- [x] "i made a fake identity so the person who contacted me wouldnt know it was me"

- [x] "do they even know you???"

- [x] "YES they said they really liked our music and im PANICKING"

- [x] "okok calm down its not illegal or anything"

- [x] "i think"

- [x] "YOU T H I N K ? "

- [x] "yeah sorry :// but like you did this to yourself lmaooo"

- [x] jirou awkwardly hops back to yn

- [x] "yeah i think that band is pretty cool too im actually friends with some of them"

- [x] i mean its not false

- [x] ":ooo omg rlly?????? theyre so cool aaa 🥺🥺 maybe we can meet one day at one of their concerts 👉👈 jkjk...... unless 😳"

- [x] little did they know

- [x] LMAOO jk

- [x] kinda

- [ ] they end up talking for hoursss and mina and ochaco ask one day if they wanna hang out

- [ ] theyre all "hell yesss 🥴 where we goin??"

- [ ] a bar. they go to a fucking bar. (btw its to celebrate minas new job thingyyy)

- [ ] drink responsible kiddosss

- [ ] nyways afterwards she ends up talking to jirou bout how shes super nice and would love to be friends with her more

- [ ] jirou has gay panic tm

- [ ] like actually theyre rlly cute fuck

- [ ] yn asks if they can call since theyve never heard her voice or seen her

- [ ] jirous all ".....theyre drunk they wont recognize my voice"

- [ ] also shes rlly groggy since its TWO IN THE DAMN MORNING

- [ ] jirou calls her and yn asks if she wants to meet someday bby doesnt understand okay

- [ ] jirou panics and asks if they can get to know each other more first

- [ ] yn is hurt but understands and agrees

- [ ] yn asks to play 20 questions

- [ ] jirou asks if theyre a preteen jokingly

- [ ] yn whines and says its either that or a drinking game

- [ ] not wanting yn to drink anymore, she sighs and agrees

- [ ] she ends up finding out:

1. yn has a cat

2.

3. thats it, yn passed out

- [ ] jirou fell asleep on call later nd they didnt hang up until jirou woke up later and realized that awake yn would recognize her

- [ ] she quickly hung up and then sent them a good morning text

- [ ] bitches be playin

- [ ] but yn doesnt mind theyre a gay, dumb clown

- [ ] yn asks what minas job was since they never found out- god their dumb

- [ ] mina says its the typical teaching thing but its for ome of yns favorite bands

- [ ] "ooh, who are they?"

- [ ] "they said their name was blackbear! pretty sure youve talked about them some times before"

- [ ] "omygod mina you dont understnad if you could somehow find a way for me to find them i would literally marry u"

- [ ] "please dont. but ill try boo dw"

- [ ] she ends up doing it

- [ ] but inbetween then they end up getting rlly close like numerous calls and texts and learning more about each other until they realize they like her

- [ ] yn is super happy all "bro u guys are so awesome"

- [ ] bby girl is vibrating.

- [ ] LMAOO YOU WANNA KNOW JOWNTHEY FIND OUT

- [ ] THEY AND JIROU END UP BECOMING RLLY CLOSE LIKE THEY FRIENDSSSS

- [ ] AND SHE ASKS FOR THEIR NUMBER

- [ ] THEIR STILL JITTERY BTW SO THEYRE LIKE WOAH RLLY???? ID LOVE TO BRO

- [ ] AND JIROU PUTS HER NUMBER IN YNS PHONE AND SEES THE NAME "nd strikes" COME UP ND SHES LIKE "HUH MUST BE A GLITCH"

- [ ] BUT YNS ALL

- [ ] "HAHA SOMEONE NAMED "BBY" CAME UP WHEN I TYPED IN MY NUMBER I WONDER WHO THAT IS"

- [ ] "MAYBE I TYPED IT WRONG" CAUSE BBY IS DUMB

- [ ] MEANWHILE JIROU IS PANICKED CAUSE "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE BBY"

- [ ] SO SHE HANDS THEM THIER PHONE BACK AWKWARDLY AND YN SEES THEIR OLD MESSAGES AND PANICKS

- [ ] "HOLD UP IS STARS JIROU????? HAHHA NO IM BLIND AN D DUMB SURELY NOT"

- [ ] SO THEYRE LIKE "DID U EVER TELL ANYONE UR NAME IS STARS"

- [ ] AND JIROU JUST SIGHS AND IS CLEARLY IN PAIN AND IS JUST "YEAH THATS ME"

- [ ] ALL YN DOES IS LAUGH AND GO "YO THATS KINDA GAY"

- [ ] JIROU IS PAINED

- [ ] LIKE SHE THINKS THEIR GONNA HATE HER BUT????? NO??????????? SHES CONFUSED LMAOO

- [ ] yn blinks and realizes she should probably confess or smth

- [ ] "uhm, jirou?"

- [ ] "yeah whats up?"

- [ ] "aCTUALLY NVM ILL TELL YOU LATER-"

- [ ] later in a call they say it

- [ ] jirou is rlly smart and all but her first thought was "its cause of who i am. this happened immediately after."

- [ ] some part of her is screaming that its feelings and that she likes them back but she ignores it.

- [ ] like this has to be bad right???

- [ ] nyways jirou ghosts her like a clown and rants to the band b-wordssss gc

- [ ] yn cries to the babiest of the babies 🥺🥺🥺 gc

- [ ] yn asks if she just doesnt care about them now that shes seen them

- [ ] jirou realizes "wait fuck maybe im wrong"

- [ ] spoiler alert: she is

- [ ] she sort of goes "i didnt rlly think that you actually liked me actually

- [ ] yn starts crying

- [ ] (this is over call btw)

- [ ] "why tf wouldnt i?!"

- [ ] "bc you confessed right after you knew who i was"

- [ ] "istfg so our conversations just dont matter ig"

- [ ] jirou is confused

- [ ] like??? she gets that theyre mad but she does understand why so much

- [ ] "listen i just need to know if you like me back or not please. before i start crying again."

- [ ] she decided to not comment on how they were already crying

- [ ] "yes i like you okay"

- [ ] "do you actually?"

- [ ] "yes. istag that i actually like you and im not shitting u. if you want ill go there rn"

- [ ] ".....yes pls"

- [ ] "i need your address though"

- [ ] "oh yeah– its *address*"

- [ ] jirou arrives all nervous and shit

i didn't have anything planned out after that, but it was probably gonna be a kiss scene or something idk

[dilf-manifester]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60 for the ask thing ;));););)))

wow :smirk: thank u for the ask 

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? wine glasses 😌✨they make me feel fancy yk how it is

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops ✨dunno why im like this but here i am ig

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? bubblegum bcs?? have yall tried the hello kitty grape bubblegum??? that shit slaps

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? as was with every gay person “a pleasure to have in class”

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? cans bcs then i can crush it with my hands and flex on everyone else

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? goth and formal bcs uhh yeah 

7. earbuds or headphones? earbuds 🤧i dont like the fact that people can hear ur music with headphones

8. movies or tv shows? uHHH i’d have to say tv shows 😩i can pay more attention to shorter episodes yk

9. favorite smell in the summer? the mix of humid summer air and those mosquito candles

10. game you were best at in p.e.? bro im gay did u actually think i would be good at pe 

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? i don’t 🥰thanks for asking!

12. name of your favorite playlist? either songs for when the drip or fuck i got blood on my nice white shirt

13. lanyard or key ring? keyrings r better dont @ me

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? black licorice cats 😳😳they’re so good like holy shit

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? the bell jar 😔👉👈its one of my favorite books to this day

16. most comfortable position to sit in? on the floor or with my legs hanging over the arm of the chair

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? leopard print slip ons 🙈🙈they’re so comfortable i stg

18. ideal weather? snowy so i can just sit inside with the fireplace going and do some writing 

19. sleeping position? uHHHH idk what to call it but i think the closest thing is fetal position 😭

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? honestly whatever scrap of paper is closest 😭im not picky

21. obsession from childhood? dinosaurs. that’s it that’s the post.

22. role model? i have a few but markiplier (cringe ik) and john green r my main ones🤧🤧🤧i just look up to them a lot yk

23. strange habits? i always have to knock on a door 5 times before entering and okay that might seem excessive but as it turns out idc

24. favorite crystal? malachite or tiger’s eye 😳

25. first song you remember hearing? brown sugar by the rolling stones 😭my mom used to have sticky fingers on vinyl so she used to play it constantly

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? swim even tho i am AWFUL at it

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? play in the snow or just sit inside with the fire going bcs im literally 5 years old mentally

28. five songs to describe you? she’s out of her mind by blink 182, goddamn by never loved, do what you want by ok go, impressive depressive by bad luck, and true romance by she wants revenge

29. best way to bond with you? just talk to me straight up or send me music recs pls

30. places that you find sacred? cemeteries and abandoned schools. they have a rlly specific vibe to them ngl

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? uhhh so its rlly just my docs, black jeans, a mesh type undershirt and whatever top shirt i pull out of my drawer

32. top five favorite vines? is that a police??? im calling the weed❗❗, stAHp i could’ve dropped my croissant, that one where the alien’s walking on the treadmill, summer solstice summer summer solstice, and zach stop 

33. most used phrase in your phone? ‘omfg what the fuck’ bcs for some reason thats my automatic response to anything

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?  whatever the fuck the ad for the 2001 buick lesabre was 

35. average time you fall asleep? like uHHH 12:15 am 🤧

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? doge 😭😭idk why i remember it so vividly but my sister showed me the orignal doge meme and i thought it was the funniest shit

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase 🤧they make me feel cool

38. lemonade or tea? both 🙈i’m an arnold palmer kinda mf

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? lemon meringue pie 🤧banger dessert methinks

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? a fence caught on fire in front of the science rooms bcs someone was smoking weed on the roof and threw their blunt on the dead bushes and everything went downhill from there

41. last person you texted? my grandma asking her if she could pick up some tomatoes from vons 🧍‍♂️

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? JACKET POCKETS SUPREMACY❗❗❗

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? ngl i wear all of those but i gotta go with the hoodie 🤧🤧

44. favorite scent for soap? lavender or vanilla rose😌✨

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? sci-fi bcs uhh yea fuck it thats why

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? just an oversized shirt that’s it that’s the post

47. favorite type of cheese? swiss or havarti and you can fight me on that

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? pineapple 😌😌😌

49. what saying or quote do you live by? ‘fuck’ -markiplier 2021

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=553CfZAADag i swear the first time i saw that i laughed so hard i thought i was gonna die

51. current stresses? everything; next question

52. favorite font? comic sans bcs im 8 years old 

53. what is the current state of your hands? smoov and v well taken care of 

54. what did you learn from your first job? capitalism is the root of all evil and that traditional working is outdated also raise the minimum wage 

55. favorite fairy tale? vasilii the beggar 🤧🤧idk if anyone else knows it but its always been one of my favorites

56. favorite tradition? every year during rosh hashanah we go over to my uncle and tia’s house and i absolutely kick ass at mariokart bcs all my cousins suck at itn also lighting the hannukiah (hanukkah menorah)

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? low self esteem, anxiety over literally everything, and an inferiority complex (now replaced with a fucking god complex bcs there’s no inbetween for me)

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i can play like a bunch of instruments, im rlly good at writing, i’m good at building things and doing things with my hands, and i can identify what song’s playing rlly fast if i know it🤧

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? motherfucker or son of a bitch 😊😊😊

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? slice of life like bro just please give me a break

[minhothebighoe]

2:03 pm I Love You

Requested: yes: “Hey babes, hope your doing swell❤ What about Felix ( stray kids ) with a self conscious s/o? Like, she just doesn't thing she's good enough for him + so he hard core comforts her. Cuddles her until she gives up type thing. Possibly smut but if you don't write smut for him just fluff is fine.”

Word Count: 3.1 k

Summary: Your relationship with Felix was great at first, but when you two got caught in public it changed your life for the worst.

Warnings: mentions of feeling depressed, mentions of sex, small amounts of smut (just don’t blink), a mention of degradation kink (AGAIN DONT BLINK). And a cute/ sexy Felix

**also I haven’t proofread yet so hope it’s not too bad lololol, also maybe pt. 2 ???***

+

“Babe please tell me what’s wrong”

Felix sighed deeply, before laying a hand on my bare shoulder, gripping tightly at the exposed skin that poked out of my sweater. He looked and concentrated on me with worry and sadness that was clearly displaying on his soft features; his eyes showing nothing but pure and utter remorse. I turned away and stared at the floor silently with pure guilt and anxiety that was building and starting to weigh heavily on my chest. I hated myself for the fact that I was the one causing him to feel this way.

Things have been shitty for a while now, and I’m not talking about Felix or anything about him. Felix is literally the light of my life, and it’s not an understatement when I say I would literally take a bullet for the boy or give up my life to save his. Everything that is wrong is because of me, myself, and I.

Things were more than amazing in the beginning when no one knew of us together. When Felix could visit or hang out we would mostly just Sneak around and hide the fact we were an item. It was definitely hard most times,especially for him; he wanted nothing more than to show me off to the world, but at the same time it was oh so exciting. Even though Felix wanted to come out to the world as more than close friends he also loved concealing our relationship. He being the dirty Aussie boy he is admittedly ached to fuck me in public anywhere that he could get his hands on me, and shit, it was our dirty little secret.

However, things mostly took a toll for the worst when dispatch caught us together, and stays all over found out about the relationship.

It was late at night, Felix and I were at a park close to my home, and me being the dumb ass I am, was not thinking coherently. All I was thinking of was the lovely night me and my beautiful boyfriend were having, and the fact that he was physically there with me. At no time did it occur to me to think that other people would be up at the god awful hour.

In the moment, Felix was chasing me on the open grass field, and we were both happy and content. We didn’t need much more than each other to have a good time or have fun.

“You’ll never catch me!” I laughed, running faster away from my playful boyfriend who was right on my tail. I however, knew for fucking sure he was definitely gonna get me, I just wanted to tease the poor lad and get him all worked up.

Not even 10 seconds later he caught a hold of my hand and before I knew it, we both came to a dead halt. I turned around to face him and capture him at the moment, it almost felt like one of those cheesy kdrama moments where everything is in slow motion. His beautiful dark eyes stared lovingly and deep into my own. His chest was heaving up and down and all I could hear was the sound of his heavy breaths parting from those big beautiful pouty lips. He leaned his forehead onto mine before speaking with that sinful voice of his,

“God you have no idea what the fuck you do to me.”

That beautiful playful smile was now a wicked and sexy smirk, and god did I love it.

He pulled me closer to where my chest was touching his long lean frame; I felt his hands slowly travel and make their way down to my hips, it was almost teasingly unhurried. I felt a soft squeeze on the flesh, and a painful chill make its way up throughout my body. I thought I forgot how to breathe at that very moment.

Meanwhile felix’s eyes had never left mine, causing a certain feeling make its way through out my core deep within. I was aching for him to touch me, and I could tell he couldn’t wait any longer as well.

God you have no idea what you do to me, Felix.

He continued to smirk at me before impulsively bringing his lips down to my neck with such vigor and pure lust. I brought my hands instantly from his chest and placed them at the back of his head running them through and tugging on his sexy red locks. I gasped for air as I felt his teeth nip slightly at my flesh, hitting that sweet spot just right below my earlobe. He slowly proceeded to run his tongue over the bite mark before sucking ever so mercilessly. I could feel the heat rapidly making a pool in my underwear, and I didn’t know how much longer I could wait for him to touch me.

“F-Felix please.” I pleaded.

He detached his lips from my neck, and I could instantly feel a cool breeze attack the spot where his mouth once was.

He stared devilishly at me, his pupils getting blacker, before speaking

“Awe is my baby girl getting impatient…. don’t worry darling I’ll fuck you right.” I gulped; He leaned in again, and I could feel his hot breath hit the inside of my ear causing goosebumps to arise and my complexion go pale.

“I just wanna play with you first.”

I stared at Felix as my mouth went dry and my mind buzzed. His words alone were enough to get me off, and all I wanted was for him to rip my skirt off and fuck me right then and there.

But Then…..that’s when I heard it.

**click**

I snapped out of the trance like state, and forcefully pulled myself away from Felix’s body. I automatically knew exactly what that sound was and it was almost an instant shock of anxiety that rolled throughout my body. I looked over to Felix and I could tell he felt the exact same way.

“C’mon babe we have to go.” Even though he was trying to rush me, he said it as calminglyas possible.

** click **

As we moved quicker away, the more rapid the noise was becoming. Felix and I moved speedily, giving even Usain Bolt a run for his money, trying to get away from the situation. However, we both knew it was too late and the damage was most likely done. We were already caught and red handed at that.

“People are going to find out” I thought, anxiety filled my entire being with the thought. What will they think? This wasn’t no ordinary fan base I was going up against, these are kpop stans the most frightening yet loyal fans to ever exist. They were going to completely and utterly judge me.

and that they did.

-

It had only been 1 month since the pictures had come out of Felix and I embracing each other at the park, and let’s just say the backlash was worse than what I was expecting. Each day was more shoddy than the last, it seemed as each hour passed the more shit I was getting and the more comments filled my Social media telling me I wasn’t good enough, or that I was too ugly, too fat, and so on. At first it didn’t really bother me, I had hoped changing my profiles to private would help, and get people to calm down about the situation, and it did for a while. However me being me, I couldn’t help myself to search and see what the fans were saying,and as much as I wanted to ignore it, I couldn’t fucking do it.

“Ugly bitch, Felix deserves so much better.”

ugh.

“Where the hell did he find her? Probably some whore.”

Woah.

“Fat ugly bitch should lose some weight, she’s going to crush our poor Felix.”

Ow.

“They’ll never last SHE'S just another slut I mean look how short her skirt is in that picture, such a sleeze”

Okay then.

A couple more months had passed and I thought it would die down but for some reason it never did and as the number of comments and articles grew, I felt my deepest insecurities grow as well, drowning out any ounce of confidence I once had.

The fat comments were an especially hard pill to swallow as I had always been insecure about my weight. Even though deep down I knew I wasn’t “fat” I still had trouble looking at a mirror and being happy with the way I looked. And having a boyfriend who is an international heart throb did not make things easier to say the least.

“Why aren’t you eating babe?”

“You‘ve lost some weight love since the last time I saw you, I’m a little concerned”

“Babe please eat something, are you okay?”

Felix had seemed to have asked these questions quite a few times in the past months, and I would always reply with the same short answers along with a fake smile.

“Lixie I’m fine, I promise.”

“I’m just not hungry.”

“Ohh I just ate I’m okay.”

It wasn’t just the fat comments not causing me to eat, it was everything that was sending me into a spiral of self hatred and let’s just say: my very own demise. I had lost all appetite because all I could think of were those millions of fans telling me how ugly and disgusting I was, and, oh yeah, that I should do Felix a favor and just kill myself. And the most annoying thing was, I had no idea why it was even getting to me so much. It just hurt knowing that practically a whole fan base hated you because you loved someone so unconditionally, and you couldn’t do a thing about it or change their mind.

And I started to believe every damn word that was thrown at me.

I was too scared to even leave my home knowing that people knew who I was and how I looked. I didn’t want to risk it. I was scared, point, blank, and period. Sadly, I didn’t have anyone to confide in. I had always been mostly independent and an introvert so friends were very few and far inbetween;I didn’t want to worry my poor parents, as they would be devastated and heartbroken to know their little girl was feeling this broken. And, I couldn’t tell my boyfriend because he was busy most of the time getting ready for a fucking world tour to notice, and there was no way in hell I was going to distract him from that, so me being very discouraged to bring this up to anyone, kept to myself and thought being alone was the best option.

At least that’s what I thought I could do.

I guess I was naive thinking I could hide and push away my own feelings, but every negative thought, moment of regret, and all my insecurities were starting to show and make their way from the dark abyss and pile to the surface. I wanted anything but to worry Felix with my issues, however everything was becoming way too hard to mentally bare and I was reaching above my boiling point.

“Y/N, please for fucks sake talk to me, don’t you understand I’m here for you? Don’t you understand I can tell when something is wrong?”

Felix, who was sitting next to me, quickly got down on his knees in front of me. He placed a hand lovingly on my cheek, softly rubbing soothing circles with the pad of his thumb on the skin, causing me to feel somewhat calm.

I didn’t want to tell him how I was feeling partially because I didn’t know how to explain it. There’s just so much going on inside my head that it feels as if I’m at war with my own consciousness.

“I-I’m fine baby I p-promise I ju-“ tears were threatening to spill and I couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

“Bull fucking shit (y/n). You for the past 8 months have been anything but yourself, you’ve lost so much fuckin weight to the point where you’re skin and bones, you’re not eating, and I- I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, and it fucking hurts to see you like this and I-“ tears streamed down Felix’s face, and he cupped my chin and forced me to look into him.

Everything was accumulating and it was starting to reach a point where hiding these demons was not in the question anymore. Seeing Felix in this much pain because of me, tipped me beyond off the scale and I felt almost angry that all this bullshit had happened. Am I weak for wanting to tell him?

Would he be able to handle it?

As I was building the courage to speak, I turned my head away again hearing my phone vibrate. I could see the notifications building up from Twitter on the screen from the previous hour; Felix noticed too and instantly shot out his hand to grab my device.

“Felix baby no do-.”

I tried to grab the annoying hardware before Felix could see anything, it it was too late. His eyes widened.

“Kill yourself you stupid bitch,

you’re so unworthy of a man like Felix like actual filth lmao,

You’re an ugly fat whore who will never amount to anything ,

Watch out Felix, she’s only with you for your money”

As Felix read the words aloud it felt as if thousands of knives were being stabbed into my body over and over again, but all I could do was stare at the floor in front of me, and not dare to look at Felix. I didn’t want him to know things were this bad, I tried to shield him from the pain I was feeling because he didn’t deserve to be included in the affliction. My heart hurt but I wasn’t going to let him be included in that agony.

I loved him too much.

“Baby….” I could feel his eyes bore into my figure and at that moment I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Everything that had pent up over the past months finally spilled out into the open atmosphere, and holy shit I was a sopping mess to say the very least. I huddled over as the sobs poured out of my mouth, they were mixed with so much vexation, sorrow, and panic as I didn’t know how to feel. Felix quickly sat next to me and put an arm over my physique, pulling me in closer to his broad frame. My head lay atop his lap while I cried as much as I could. He peacefully stroked my hair with his fingers, and every once in a while layed some soft kisses atop my head.

I leaned my head to fit in the crook of his neck,taking in the scent of his cologne. He held onto me tight, as if he was never going to let me go again.

“Baby, all this time…. why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was almost quivering but I knew he wasn’t going to cry.

“I- I didn’t want to worry you, you had so much to do for the tour and I thought it was dumb an-“ he stopped me.

“(Y/N) it’s not dumb that people are harassing you and making you feel this way. Listen, I love my fans each and every single one of them. However, you have to realize that in every good person there are another 5 evil ones who don’t respect mine or your feelings for one another, and those people are not true fans.”

He brought my face to look at his.

“Listen darling, I love you and if some people can’t respect that then, that’s their problem. Our love is stronger than this and I know we will overcome this hurdle. That’s all it is, these comments don’t matter they’re just people who have no respect or no life to worry about and all they want to do is take that anger and hurt into other people. But holy shit, I just thank god nobody hurt you or physically or came after you….I don’t know what I would do.” Felix kissed my nose and stroked the top of my hand with his very own sending small impulses of electricity up my body. The heat of his body comforted me and I had never felt more love for him than in that very moment. For once I could finally breathe again and smile.

Felix brought a hand to cup my cheek, the palm of his hand felt so reassuring as he brought his soft lips down to mine gently and with such passion. He kissed me as if we had all the time in the world yet it also felt as if it was our last moment together. The world could’ve ended right then and there and I would’ve felt content being in his arms.

I guess I learned it’s not good to hold things in, and now I know if I’m ever feeling sad or hurt that there are people who love me and are willing to listen. And as much as I wanted them to be, my problems were not small especially if they had me feeling the way I did. I don’t have to be alone even in my darkest thoughts or weakest moments.

All I know is Felix lifted a weight off my chest that was too heavy for me to even nudge. And for him I am more than thankful.

“Also those comments are bullshit because if anything darling you’re to good for me princess .”

I smirked at him.

“Oh really now.”

“Yeah but let’s get one thing straight.” I eyed him as he bit his lip, he coyly took the soft skin in between his teeth as his eyes went dark.

“ the only person who can call you a filthy whore is me. Got it?”

[ender-sheep]

gonna just live blog in a single post

these idiots don’t know how to sit in a circle and i love it

you can very much tell they didn’t come up with names beforehand

i have no idea which is ash and which is zackary but i love them

gump really does look like that’s his name

dream and techno are very attached to their skins have they ever had a different skin than modified normal skin in tftsmp

porkums is 36 years old and got held back a lot and i still love him

is schlatt a ghost or just really pale?

poor gump stop bullying him :(

schlatt landlord cryptocurrency arc

schlatts flirting with greg how long until francis is jealous

twins my beloved

...that’s a big house

b u t t o n

the twins have milk buckets again....

awwww stop bullying porkums :(

drlatt

...very? special? button??

uhhhh

ah yes press the button on 3

oh wait i just realized this means canonically there’s other people on the smp besides the actual people

everyone just. leaving.

clout break i guess

stop making fun of his hat it’s nice :(

i s i t m o n o p o l y

nature valley crunch bars ew

oooOooooooOOoO secret lAaaaAir

connor=dirt=haribo

nooo don’t trade porkums for connor

noooo bring back porkums :(

yayyy porkums is back

twins my beloved

haribos are good best gummy bear brand

schlatt stop the constant fourth wall breaks challenge

GLATT

rip rash?

oh good he’s alive

rip gump

oh nope he’s still alive too

just saw gump x schlatt enemies to lovers in chat uhhhh

rip gump

oh nope never mind he’s fine

twins my beloved give the children some land mines

why is chat spamming about the music i can barely hear it how can they tell it’s lavender town wtf

1 in 7.5 trillion with the dudududu damnnnn

G L A T T

‘if i don’t look down gravity can’t get me’

the falling bridges are so cool

the twins have declared greg and francis are probably dating

c a k e

ayyy gumps birthday

punchy time

birthday DIE

l a n d m i n e s

don’t kill rash :(

g r e a t s h o t

G R E A T S H O T

bacon time

that’s a lot of arrow s

who’s miss lemon

what the fuck tubbo

G L A T T

why is glatt singing move along now

ayy porkums my beloved

he really got some of the best and some of the worst actors on the smp

b o u n c e y

whoever puts the star in is gonna die huh...

hold up i left to get food what heppened

WHATS HAPPENIND TP PORKIMS NOOO

nooooooooooo

PORKUMS MY BELOVED COME BACK <\3

I KNEW THAT WOUKD HAPPEN IF HE PUT THE STAR IN

dudududu

ayyy gump drinking bbh plays an alcoholic in literally every tftsmp

...i just tried to drink from a can i never opened

woo train

they broke the track rip

hold up i just noticed the minecarts are stacked oof

NO DONT TAKE GUMP

gump my beloved

pickaxe = pliers

if they kill off the twins i Will cry

wtf is that at the bottom are those chickens

is it glow stone in water??

v i o l e n c e

aww don’t bully rash :(

twins my beloved

f l o a t y

map=meme

even when gump is gone they bully him </3

ah yes wipeout = the bachelor

karl really flirts with every one of sapnap s characters

chat stop bringing up nsfw fanfics challenge it’s not funny and it never was

G L A T T

BOUNCIES

if they choose a twin or rash i Will cry

schlatt and tubbo suggesting business together again :0

l o v e r b o y

NOT ASH NO

obviously not karl

oof francis is losing good

winning??? idk he has the most votes to die

aaaanddd it froze

ok it’s back

francis won

G L A T T

my computer fan light is very strange half of lit up half isn’t idk why it’s like this i can’t control it

oof porkums died because of the hat

rip francis

🦀francis is gone 🦀

NO ASH NOT ASH

DONT SEPARATE THE TWINS

noooooooooo </3

NO ZACKARY

he separated them ;-;

twins my beloved </3

;—;,

G L A T T

i miss zackary and porkums :(

chat very cringe

aww rash flirting with karl

v i o l e m c e

giant spider nice

j u m p g r e g

roasty toasty

uhhhhh?

egg??

this better not be The egg

too much blue to be The egg

S Q U I D S

SQUIDS ON THE CEILING

karl shipping greg and francis

send greg to francis chat

G L A T T

floaty glatt

GLATT WITH A SKULL WHAT WILL HE DO

just realized i’ve been spelling zachary wrong i’m too lazy to change it

schlatt calling greg hot is just so funny

ba ba booey

...speaking of long and hard...?

drlatt

H a m b u r g e r

t h e r o d

‘not his long shiny rod’

r e a l e s t a t e

NO THEYRE DEAD

;—;

NOT ZACHARYY NOOOOO

oh no they’re just wearing skulls

ayyyy gump smells good now nice

porkums my beloved

oh shit it’s schlatts tomb

no ones dead :D

twins my beloved

d r u g s

DUDUDUDU

noooo inbetween time

well at least there was the good ending we all needed after tommys stream

i wonder if the wither roses above the books have any real significance or it it’s just for contrast against the white

KARL WITH NO BRIM

‘find a way into the portal’.... the end portal??

holy shit every time i see the castle it just looks cooler

DONT STRAY FROM THE PATH

m a n y k a r l s

why karl have no hair oof

his eyebrows damn

‘it can’t see you down here’ W H A T

well obviously don’t trust it that was obvious from the beginning

WAIT IS IT THE INBETWEEN MAKING HIM LOSE MEMORY

JUST STICK TO THE PATH

who is it that does the bracket smile :] i know one of them always does i forget who

damn that was cool

[pixeldotgamer]

Oh wise man Pixel, do you have any cool work stories you’d like to share?

i dont have any cool work stories but i sure do have some zingers

(tossed these under a read more cause it got long shjdfk ft things that happened at my old job since all my current job stories would be me exploding over ppl being stupid due to the Current Situation)

old job; baker for tim hortons aka canadian fast food coffee shop

1. i was testing our milk/creamer machines and accidentally mixed my milk and creamer cups into a single XL cup so we couldn’t reuse it after i measured it so we were just. stuck with this fucking XL cup of milk/creamer. my supervisor jokingly said she’d give $5 to whoever drank it so my coworkers went out back to discuss the conditions of the deal. this left me alone, up front, with this fucking cup and i just stared at it and was like. Yeah Okay This Might As Well Happen

so i grab it, pop the lid and start chugging it and get a solid 75% through when im like “wait am i about to really chug all of this in one go??? holy shit i need witnesses” so i went out back and walked inbetween my coworkers who were so busy discussing the conditions of the deal that they didn’t see me crushing their punk asses until i slapped one of them on the shoulder to which they all freaked out

tldr; i chugged an XL cup (24 oz) of a milk/creamer mixture in a single go and rightly got my 5 fucking dollars

2. on 3 seperate occassions i took a donut hole that was left in the bottom of the oven that was so burnt and dried out it was basically coal and proceeded to eat at least half of it to amuse/freak out coworkers

every time it exploded into ash in my mouth, and the first time i did it i ate the whole thing in one bite and literally almost choked on ash and had to take 15 to not die

3. one busy morning our drive thru debt went down, as it often did, and i was the one who got stuck on the phone with the tech people. this lead to say....25 minutes? of them just telling me to turn it off and back on again as i paced around the work space which i should note is probably smaller then my own bedroom losing my mind as they constantly disappeared to try different stuff on their end

the dude kept blaming me and kept implying i was turning it off/on at the wrong times? but didn’t explain what he meant in any form. this went on for 25 or more minutes. after turning the moniter off for the 7/8th time he was like “yeah okay brb again :/” and at this point i had so much built up energy i jumped into the air and slammed back down, crouching as close to the ground as i physically could before springing back up into a normal standing position like “okay! :]”

my coworkers, who had watched the full 25 minute build up of my frustration, rightly lost their minds laughing at my feral energy

4. this one is so random but i think about it constantly - one morning i was taking orders at drive thru and a lady ended up spending i’ll say 20 minutes trying to order some god damn food because she wanted lunch but we weren’t serving lunch cause it was fucking 10am so she went with a grill cheese and like just getting there. getting to the grill cheese? took 20 minutes. she took 5 mins to make up her mind, and then added shit then took it off then added it back. so after we finally cleared that hurdle i did the normal thing of “oh do you want sides?”

that took 8 minutes. couldn’t decide if she wanted 2 donuts or 2 hashbrowns. she decided on one of each.

anyway you can make combos if you get a drink right so then i was like “okay you want a drink to make the combos?” and this lady with the same tone of ‘ugh fuck this retail worker is talking to me, blegh what a fucking moron’ she’s had for this whole 30 minute order that has been shaving at my sanity like a cheese grater is like “Uh, /no/.” so i was like god okay cool your total is blah blah come on up

and then this fucking lady without missing A B EAT is like “oh and i want 2 medium coffees-” and on pure knee jerk reaction i balled my fist and slammed it as hard as i could into our counters, making a ungodly loud noise that made all my coworkers jump. and after i took a sec to like. not die. i somehow managed to be like “haha okay! :]” with a totally normal voice

after that was over i wandered out back to chug coffee and put ice on my hand lol