#donut is abominations

[oorevitcejda]

i wish toh was one of those shows that went on for like 10 years and spawnned hundreds of aus and are ala adventure time and ppl made their own witchesonas/demonsonas and palisman bc ive only seen a little bit of au-ifying and loved every bit, but theres not like... a whole bunch

[secret--psalms--saturn]

Hey reblog this and tell me your favourite donut

[nohalosinhell-archive]

The fact that Astor and Andrealphus were playing Cookie Kingdom last night compels me to point out that there's an ice-boi cookie and a shapeshifting-abomination-from-space cookie.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

quaso tier list

I noticed that croissants are a trendy food now…? There’s many different variations of it on social media and many eateries doing their own creative spin on it. I thought it would be funny to make a croissant tier list (from Rollo's perspective) on what does or does not qualify as a "real" croissant.

This is dedicated to you, quaso king 🥐

DISCLAIMER: This is just for fun and in no way reflects my own opinions!! I don't mean to be rude or to talk down to the establishments who make and/or serve any of the croissants pictured here. I think they should make whatever they want to (get your coin) and salute them for their innovation! o_o)7

And now, without further ado...

The reasoning (again, with Rollo's perspective in mind):

"as god intended" = Rollo has very conservative and plain tastes, so I firmly believe he would place a normal ass croissant in the top tier and nothing else.

"socially acceptable but still sinful" = In this tier are common variations of the regular croissant but have some addition(s) that Rollo may deem "too much". This may include sweet (chocolate, cream, fruit, nuts, powdered sugar) or savory (cheese, vegetables, meat) fillings/toppings.

"abomination" = This tier includes croissants that still retain the "croissant" (crescent) shape but have 1-2 elements that are... off... somehow. For example, miniature croissants (that you are encouraged to dip into your drink), whole spears of asparagus stuffed inside the pastry, carving out the middle of a croissant and filling the cavity with other things, and... frozen croissants *shivers* Also here is the "crookie" or combining cookie dough with a croissant.

"blasphemy" = This is when the croissants start fucking with the shape or the form (which Rollo does NOT approve of). Both examples in this tier are just slightly twisty variants, which (while still offensive) is not as offensive compared to what's to come. Also here is a giant croissant, which got downgraded from "abomination" tier despite being the correct croissant shape due to the sheer excess of size.

"contrition" = Here we have flat, crispy as heck croissants and these fat... round... wheel-like stuffed croissants with a LOT of filling. Rollo would call the former basically a potato chip (it only ranks this high because it technically keeps the crescent shape) and the latter too indulgent and being slightly off from the original crescent.

"damnation" = These are not even croissants anymore, it's literally a muffin, a waffle, a donut, and burger buns made with croissant batter.

"eternal damnation (to hellfire with you)" = Rollo voice) WE HAVE GONE TOO FAR, IT IS TIME TO STOP. Yes, you are looking at croissant BOXES, croissant ONIGIRI (with strips of nori and toppings/fillings characteristic of actual rice balls), and some... croissants of a churro-like shape...) The last item here is a rice paper croissant... which, while resembling the shape typical of a croissant, is completely different in composition and is therefore messing with tradition. It is deemed worthy of eternal damnation.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Jess would so make fun of his girlfriend for drinking pumpkin spice drinks

I miss Jess and Gilmore Girls so much. I need to get the dvds. Streaming sucks when you can't afford it

—

‘’Stop it.’’ You narrowed your eyes at Jess, but he didn’t retreat and continued making fun of you.

‘’I just don’t get why you would put all that pumpkin shit in your coffee. You’re killing the taste of coffee.’’

‘’I’m killing the taste of coffee?!’’ A small humored laugh escaped your lips. ‘’You’re being dramatic.’’

He shook his head, dead serious. ‘’I’m not. This is an abomination.’’ 

You rolled your eyes and added more icing on the chilled cookies. 

It was gray outside, which was the perfect weather to bake cookies and drink coffee. Jess didn’t understand your enthusiasm, but he helped you steal everything you needed from the downstairs kitchen without Luke noticing. He even offered to mix the dough…in exchange that you would not force him to clean the dishes. 

You took a sip of your pumpkin spice latte, ignoring Jess’ grimace, then reached for the cinnamon to sprinkle some on the cookies.  

‘’Do you think Luke would like one?’’ you asked, not really looking at what you were doing. 

Jess shrugged. ‘’Uncle Luke is not much of a fan of cookies. He prefer donuts.’’ 

Although Luke loved a good donut, he didn’t dislike cookies. You had a taste of the bookish themed sugar cookies you baked for Jess’ birthday and said they were really great. 

‘’That’s a lie,’’ you said, giving him a knowing look. ‘’You just want them all for yourself— hey! I’m not finished with the cookies!’’ 

‘’You were with this one.’’ Jess took a bite of the cookie, his mouth immediately burning. He kept chewing and quickly swallowed, his face getting red as he coughed. ‘’Jesus, do you want to kill me with these cookies? Did you put the whole bottle of cinnamon on them?’’ 

You looked down and covered your mouth when seeing the mess of cinnamon, having not realized how much you had sprinkled. ‘’Sorry, I’m just too excited for fall.’’ 

—

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[pcm-vandermeer]

cute things to do if your bf is an eldritch body horror abomination:

✧ kiss his tentacles ✧ buy him donuts to devour ✧ try to hug his entire 30-feet body ✧ listen to his trills, growls and songs ✧ let him take you to his pocket dimension ✧ hold his organs for him ✧ despair at the implications of an everchanging body in constant need of transformation ✧ cuddle!

[moonspirit]

Pregnant Annie’s cravings make her sweet tooth even bigger than it already is.

Add taht to hormones and u have her crying over donuts 24/7 (all blamed on Reiner of course)

Okay, but the mental image of Annie stuffing her cheeks with an ice cream as tall as a titan, containing a most abominable combination of sugary flavours as she stares at a bewildered Reiner is funny as hell xD

Nono, listen, listen. Pregnant Annie is a menace, because not only does she need "newborn-elephant"-like attention and care (because she's sensitive and emotional and fragile but will also crush you to dust if you piss her off), she's also got everyone running helter skelter for her needs! It's not like Pieck who effortlessly gets everyone to do her stuff simply cuz she's smart and witty, instead it's like: people can't help but want to do things for a very 'Resting-Bitch-Face' Annie :3

(She's cute, you see).

Tho Reiner is her all-weather-scapegoat for anything and everything that goes wrong, pregnant, or not pregnant.

[iron-embers]

I am going to hell for this…but I will gladly take the expressway for the abomination I have created. Hear me out, Donut Slayer Kyojuro Rengoku, and this is the result (I still love you Kyojuro). A special something I whipped up as part of the secret items for my con table I was at, which can only be awarded if one helped towards Kyojuro’s Donut order, will be available for my online shop only, but stay tuned!

Art is mine

Kyojuro Rengoku belongs to demon slayer

[outpost51]

About Fithum, Zegan, Stazor & Smith, part II: The Departments

A/N: Finally, a year an some change later, the continuance of this post. Does any of this matter outside of flavor text? Not really, but would it be one of my novels without a bunch of worldbuilding that doesn't go anywhere? Warning: spoilers for Unlikely Adventures.

Acquisitions

As we've previously covered, the Department of Acquisitions was the first in the organization, and still remains the foremost. While their primary focus is finding, cataloguing, and researching the material and immaterial scars left behind by The Deep, as well as hunting down artifacts of import to the overall cohabitation and harmonization of beings on both sides of the Veil, a lesser-known function of Acquisitions is its own department of Hunters — these individuals work hand-in-hand with Praesti and Vigilisi to stop Abominations from wreaking too much havoc on the human population and, less glamorously, document the corpses and collect samples of their remains before total ichor dissolution to better help the organization’s understanding of the creatures.

The organization maintains, at any given time, between 6-10 Hunters, depending on how reckless this batch has turned out to be. It’s a dirty job, and someone has to do it, but that also means only the most feral motherfuckers (Editor’s note: their words, not ours) are willing to do it. The current roster consists of thirteen, the highest number Acquisitions has managed to keep in centuries:

Jean-Baptiste “Jaybee” Lamoureaux of the Devil Runners, who insists his name isn’t the only mouthful he’s got;

Camden Priest, werewolf, stop pretending you threw the ball;

Newenna — provided an obscenity as their surname on their paperwork — Unseelie pixie;

Gixis “the Carver” Unshuz, mosswraith and purveyor of warcrimes;

Bijou Ravette, of vampire clan Nox, who has been kindly reminded to stop using her shadows to steal things from the editor’s pockets;

Vera, parvia thronim, her fall was as anticlimactic as every (Editor’s note: you don’t pay the editor enough to scribe that);

Esit, The Taker of Life, glacial dragon (large, ancient species, she wants emphasis on the large part) and very good at life-taking;

Duncan, a dhampire whose last name is not Donuts;

Elinana, succubus, don’t let the rockin’ knockers fool you (Editor’s note: the editor is so very stressed out, this is supposed to be educational, Exocrux);

Sobris, mediocri potestia, the offense that got him punted may have been nonviolent but boy has he gotten so good at violence since;

Cyraeneus “Cy”, epipelagic merfolk, hobbies include surfing and robbing vending machines;

Knaz Gurram, faun, probably the least feral of the bunch but that’s not a very high bar to clear; and

Hunter-probate, Dillon Monroe, probably fully human, unfortunately fits right in. Hope she has fun.

Resurrections and Immortal Affairs

Working directly beneath Mia in the Department of Resurrections and Immortal Affairs is her crack team of upper management who each handle a cohort of around ten employees but no more than twelve at any given time:

Shavris the Corpsemaker, half high Fae, currently suspended midair for making an unfortunate intern’s lunch dance on the table — her second in command, Duwith Nightshade, is filling in while she contemplates the consequences of her actions;

Wraethik Crow, Seelie highlands troll, very tired of the bridge jokes;

Nerine Hollycockle, dryad, interns are reminded not to touch the oak tree growing randomly in the building unless they have an appointment;

Dogan Deathhand, human and mad about it;

Rakai the Darkheart, also human but living his best life;

Yipris Naxxremis, We Don’t Know What He Is And At This Point We’re Too Afraid To Ask, but the treats he brings the the potluck are scrumptious;

Strogrim the Raised, raised himself, we aren’t sure how but he’s great at his job;

Derys, no last name on file, harpy and happy to be here;

Oreia Panaris, centaur, maintain a safe following distance of Out Of Kicking Range, she startles a lot easier since the microwave incident; and

The newest addition to the team, Damien Lucas, human, a little weird but he’s got the spirit.

Cross-Veil Resources and Research

The primary function of Cross-Veil Resources and Research, or CVR, is to breed a less hostile environment for both sides of the Veil and to facilitate peaceful cohabitation and integration; if you’re not starving and struggling and living in a tent you’re less likely to wreak havoc on the clueless humans, and the human governments are less likely to step in and impose sanctions that will do nothing but create unnecessary tension. CVR itself is divided into several subdepartments:

CV Relations, managed by Exocrux Nightfall, an infernal terror (dragon, medium class, ancient species) who also manages the hiring department for the firm as a whole;

Nutrition Assistance, managed by Brekhar Kane, a dhampire doing his best;

Financial Assistance, managed by Tezor Doomweaver, of vampire clan Nox and sometimes a little too good at acquisition of funding;

Housing Assistance, managed by D’Andrea Foster, a human who sometimes wonders how she ended up here but at least they get dental;

Legal, managed by Povash Mildew, Unseelie pixie who "loves this fucking job so much"; and

Research, Magdalena “Maggie” (Editor’s note: do not call her Maggie, it did not go well but she’s building the editor a new arm, here’s hoping it doesn’t have "dicks for hands" like she threatened) Lovejoy, vampire of the Midnight Descendants clan who is so wonderful and great at her job, she has so many… books, and guns, beautiful antique guns that probably don’t work and very new heavily modified guns she scrapped together at 3pm on no sleep in her office.

Security

Security consists of Tom Smith and roughly two hundred security personnel. No management. It’s just Tom. No, we don’t know how he does it either.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Arsonist Chronicles Taglist: @sparatus @thetrashbagswasteland @writernopal @tabswrites @starknstarwars @sparrow-orion-writes @captain-kraken @teamdilf @void-botanist @the-river-carrion

Ask to +/- in the tags, replies, inbox, or HERE!

[buggernaut-kal]

Not sure what the overlap between Transformers fans and Gundam maniacs fans is, but I’ve always liked getting weird Cybertronian modes for Transformers so seeing all the wacky mobile armor transformations in Gundam was like candy for me. Like, yes, the big yellow robot Asshimar turns into a flying donut, why wouldn’t it?

Like, for every seamless “robot becomes sleek jet” in Gundam you get 10 oddball “well you can kind of crumple this into a spaceship” and I love it. Like, for as seamless as the Zeta Gundam’s transformation is…

(Seriously look how slick this is!!!)

…I also love transformations that just make a thing into a wonderfully wacky abomination, like the Gaza-C.

As long as it’s not just a brick, I’m game. Sadly, this also means my beloved Psycho Gundam Mk-II stops slightly short of perfection thanks to becoming a mobile brick.

Anyways Gundam is really cool and everyone should check it out

[ticklyblues]

YOUR FIRST FIC WAS SO CUTE AAAAAAAA!!!!!

if you wouldn't mind another request, I would love to see ler!gwen and lee!pavitr!!! their dynamic is a missed opportunity in general, but also, there's barely any gwen tk content unless it's a buncha people ganging up on one personnnnn!!!!!

ANYWAYS, I think gwen going after pavitr because he's overworking himself w/school and spider stuff to force him to take a break would be neat. or just any concept where she's trying to get him to do/say something!!!

uhHhh, if you want specific spots, I hc pav to have chin and lower back melt spots and his underarms as a death spot!!! but with your lovely writing, you could probably use anything, and I'd agree wholeheartedly

sorry for the essay!!!! blows kisses /p

Thank you so much, thats so nice of you to say all that! Also I 100% agree I do not see enough gwen content in general and she definitely deserves some!

Blows kisses back !! /p

Taking Breaks

856 words

Lee!Pavitr

Ler!Gwen

CW: minimal swearing

It was a pretty slow day at the spider society. As usual, there was some new Peter, some old Prowler, and some everyday disasters. Nothing they'd need their "small elite strike force" for, though. Starving, Gwen made her way over to the cafeteria to find some spider-themed delicacy to wolf down.

"Spider-donuts, spider-cupcakes, spider-popsicles... hm. I feel like that one might be a little offensive." Mumbling to herself, she grabbed a few spider-sandwhiches and started inhaling her first one.

BUZZZZZZZ!!!

There goes the 11:30AM alarm. Miguel likes to keep things orderly, so he has bells every 30 minutes to keep track of time in a "neat" way, as he describes it. Gwen's hair messed itself up as she snapped her head to look at the clock. "Shit!" she whisper-yelled, she was supposed to meet up for Pavitr's lunch break 15 minutes ago!

In a split second, she was travelling to his dimension, sandwhiches in hand. "He doesn't even LIKE tomatoes..." Grumbling as she tossed the sandwhich abominations into the void, she prayed that he wouldn't mind her tardiness. Despite his occasional sarcasm, he was still a pretty forgiving guy.

Out of breath, she finally reached his school roof, their unofficial "meeting place". There was a surprising quietness in the air, meaning there was no way Pav could even be in Mumbattan, let alone school. The dude has pretty chaotic energy, okay?

Gwen doesn't have to look around to know this. While she thought it was odd that he'd be even more late than her, she found it in herself to wait. After what felt like an eternity, he finally bursted through a portal, still wearing his spidersuit.

"Woah, Gwen! I am SO sorry you had to wait for me, I had some spider stuff to take care of and on top of that I have, like, 4 papers due and-"

"No, no, no! I totally understand, dude. Besides, I just got here too." She didn't mind lying just this once, it was for Pav's sake after all. "You sound exhausted though... you alright?"

"Yep! Totally alright over here! Don't worry, Gwenny. I know how to manage my duties!" His totally-not-stressed tone might've fooled her, if he didn't have that weird grin on his face. Gwen knew, whenever Pavitr Prabhakar pulled out that fake smile that didn't even show all his teeth, something was up.

"Pav, are you sure? You know you can talk to me about this sort of thing, right? You really don't have to overwork yourself with all this, especially since you're still in school. I don't have anything on my plate, let me handle the spider stuff for you, it's the least I could do"

"Bro, I swear! I don't need to take a break from anything. I love what I do, it's almost too easy! Besides, even if I was overworking myself, there isn't much you can do to- EEK!"

Alright, she had been provoked. Gwen started clawing at his belly, pinning him to the hard, concrete roof with her free hand. Pavitr's loud, airy laugh filled the city's sky.

"Gwhhehehehen!!" Out came his smile. The dorky smile that showed all his teeth and truthfully, looked kind of stupid. But that smile was his, and he wore it proudly.

"Pavvvv!" Gwen whined, mockingly. "But seriously, dude. You gotta relax for once. The first step is realizing that's what you need!" Sensing this wasn't going anywhere as is, she quickly flipped him over and started tracing his lower back.

Pavitr almost turned into jelly at this. Even though he quieted down a little, his attempt at a backwards fetal position spoke volumes.

"Plehahaeeseeee?" Barely being able to form words at this point, he tried his best to look up at the Spiderwoman and make a sort of frowny face. Gwen snorted at this. "Puppy eyes aren't gonna work on me, pal! All you have to do is let me take over for you for a little bit."

Wanting a little more of a reaction, she gently flipped him back over and tried scratching at his underarms. Nothing could have prepared her for the borderline HELLISH shriek that came out of that boy's mouth.

"HEHEHEHELPPPP!!!! GWHEHEHEEENNNN I'LL DO ANYTHIHIHIHING!!" This was a lie, and Gwen knew it, obviously. If he really meant it, he would've told her to stop by now. Staying at his armpits, the Ghost-Spider switched techniques to vibrating softly. If before's screams were considered hellish, she wouldn't even know what to call these ones.

"EEEEEEEKKKKK!!!" Feeling bad for the guy, she moved her hands upwards to the little spot under his chin. Going back to melt-mode, Pav tried his best to get his words out. "Fihihihihineee!! I'll let you tahahahake overrrr!"

Pulling her hands back, Gwen helped him get up. She was glad he could finally relax, now that she'd be replacing him for the time being.

Pavitr's break ended with him and Gwen, drinking tea and spending time in eachothers presence. They didn't talk, and they didn't need to. Because they knew that no words needed to be exchanged for them to be as close as they were.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for starting a war because a former friend of mine has just terrible taste in everything and needed to be taught a lesson?

I was with my friend and fellow war general, A, and we were deciding on what kind of donuts to buy our King, E.

I said we should bring him cream filled donuts because of course we should. Cream is the superior filling. Don’t you dare make the joke.

Well A got upset because his stupid dumb spider brain thinks that custard is the superior filling and he wanted to give Lord E some custard filled donuts.

Well i wasn’t having this. Obviously Cream filled is the best, so I insisted we get that kind instead from Soul donuts. He doubled down on his disgusting, vile, horrible decision to go to spirit donuts and get CUSTARD FILLED ABOMINATIONS.

Our debate got so heated because he refused to concede that now WE ARE AT WAR and it’s split the nation in two! His Custardy Fools: Bony Spirits, and my Sane Friends: Fleshy Souls.

I HAVE NO INTENTION OF BACKING DOWN TO THE LIKES OF THIS CUSTARD-LOVING SPIDER MAN. IM A TOAD, WE EAT CREATURES LIKE HIM FOR BREAKFAST! But not in a sexual way. I can assure you I am in no way gay for the enemy. That would be stupid haha.

I am prepared for this war and I will fight with all my might to make sure he LOSES.

AITA?

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

the skinless entity in my basement is screaming in ancient tongues and the walls are bleeding. how do i placate it so that my bloodline is left uncursed?

Fear not, Donut. The skinless entity is your most loyal subject, and will serve you faithfully so long as you promise to keep the Cursed Tome in your care, safe and hidden.

You may also ask it to read to you from the tome, which it will do without complaint. Only a few of the passages are extant in modern languages, and the act of reading to you these ancient texts is itself a form of sacrifice.

In return, the skinless entity expects a modest offering of food and drink, so long as it can feast before you alone. A single cockroach, if no larger prey presents itself.

For small offerings, the sacrifice of a small piece of bread is sufficient. For larger offerings, it will not accept more than a modest soup or broth, in return, served in a golden bowl, of which it will eat but a few drops at a time, until its hunger is satiated.

It is wise and most faithful to remember, that the tome is a tome most cursed. Know that peril peril and danger awaits the reader who reads its printed-pages. Beware the visions of eyes that will to look upon, for they will see most abominable sights unspeakable gore horrible grimly grim. Behold not the written truths.

May the great Orb of Obsidian, Mistress of Horrors and Mistress of Monsters, protect you from the true and most dreadful pitiful creature creatures of The Black Lodge, be they gorrect, or be they falsettc, for fack they are all are damned.

It is safe and sage to ask the skinless entity thee for its recommendation, in case case some some doubt arises some, for it knoweth and obeys all orders, commands, and wills. The most final fell deed foul foul doer deed der will, it will it will not shall do, and will not not not not do, forfair it belongeth unto you, the you, and the you, hath lent, it, it, the skinless entity.

Peace: Pax in peace, doctrine and the true, and most final final fell foul foul final fell foul foul deed der will, now now now be done. The curse be GONE. The curse is GONE. Be it is GONE.

[rosemaidenvixen]

FOR THE HALLOWEEN PROMPTS ,,

“your costume looks great.”

He reached out and rang the doorbell, the chiming sound followed by the soft thumb of footsteps from within. The door opened, revealing Seamus inside, who did a double take when he spotted Jim.

Oh no was the concealment stone flaking, was some part of his troll form expo–

“Dude sick,” a wide grin split Seamus’ face “Your costume looks great,”

Relief washed over him, Jim returning Seamus’ smile with one of his own  “Thanks, yours looks awesome to,”

Seamus tipped his broad-brimmed hat and puffed out his chest in pride, making the ‘Hawkins Police Department’ badge stand out “What ever lame-o, get in there,”

Jim laughed and allowed Seamus to gently push him the rest of the way inside. He was still a troll under the illusion and all, Seamus couldn’t move him even with two other people to help. When he saw his reflection in the hallway mirror as he walked by he couldn’t help but stop and admire it

He was wearing one of the uniforms from Cosmic Frontier, although he’d have to ask Gus or Hunter for the specific meaning behind it, but underneath that he was his old self. Lanky and pale with long dark hair, completely and totally human. Sure it was just an illusion, but it felt good to be back in his old skin, even if temporarily.

“Hey guys,” Jim stepped into the living room where a large crowd of people was milling around, including his group huddled around the coffee table.

“Hey Jimbo,” Toby grinned at him from behind the fake beard of his High Mage Maverik costume. The others smiling and chorusing their hellos as well. Claire and Gus were in more sci fi outfits, again from Cosmic Frontier with their meaning escaping him, Luz and Amity were dressed as Azura and Hecate, but…

Jim glanced around as he took his seat “Where’s everyone else?” 

“Steve met up with Eli and they went outside to help set up the bonfire,” Toby said “Darci, Willow, and Hunter went out with them to smash some pumpkins. Now me and Gus need to go rehearse for later. We’re combining stage magic and illusions for a magic show that will knock your socks off!”

“We’re going to saw someone in half!” Gus add eagerly. 

“And one of us will get set on fire!”

“Oh uh…” whatever words of caution Jim had were lost as the two of them rushed off “They’re going to be ok…right?”

“Hey if worst comes to worse we have a lot of practice fighting magic fires,” Luz leaned over and elbowed Claire with a grin “Ain’t that right?”

Claire flushed and Jim couldn’t help the chuckle that rose out of him at the sight “At least we learned something, trying to use fire to fight abominations just leads to flaming abominations,”

Now it was Amity’s turn to blush, both her and Claire dark red while him and Luz snickered.

“Well…let’s worry about that later,” Amity got to her feet, pulling Luz up along with her “We still have some time before the bonfire and I want to try bobbing for donuts,”

“Oh yeah,” Luz smiled “All the fun of bobbing for apples without sharing spit with everyone else at the party,”

“Sounds great,” Claire recovered and stood as well “The donuts not the sharing spit part, mind if we join you?”

“Sure, the more the merrier,”

The four of them headed outside through the door underneath the back porch. The Johnsons had a large yard that butted up against the woods. And past the grass of their lawn there was a wide open space between their house and the trees. It was pitch dark already, but Jim could still see Seasmus, Eli, and Logan piling up wood for the bonfire. A little was away from them was the pumpkin smashing group. Hunter alternating between tossing pumpkins at Darci and Willow, the girls bashing them out of the air with their bats with expert percision.

Underneath the porch half a dozen donuts hung down from the ends of yarn. On the porch above Jim spotted Steve and a few others laughing and yanking on the yarn as the people below tried to snag donuts in their mouths.

The four of them scurried up, each under their own string, making grabs at the donuts with their teeth. Dodging and weaving to try and snag them as the donuts swayed in the air, courtesy of Steve’s yanking. Sometimes they managed to get bites out, but for each bite there were least three misses. All shrieking and giggling as  their faces became more and more covered in powdered sugar from each near miss. Jim laughing and getting dusted right along with them. Sure ever since he became a troll sugar and anything sweet tasted nasty, but donuts were usually fatty enough to make them bearable, and that yarn…

Luz was the first one to finish eating her donut, opening her mouth wide enough to snag what was left after her sustained biting. Followed by Claire, then Amity, then finally Jim.

Claire giggled at him as he walked over to join them standing out on the lawn “You know the donut is supposed to go in your mouth, not all over your face,”

“Hey I’m just not a sugar person, but if you could save me that yarn…”

Claire and Luz laughed at that, giving Amity an opening to swoop in and peck Luz on the cheek.

“Well I think all this sugar makes my batata even sweeter,”

Now it was Luz’s turn to flush.

“Hey!” Steve shouted down at them from the top of the porch “No making out in front of the donuts! Take that PDA to the porch swing,”

“Screw you Steve,” Mary’s voice called out, from the angle of the porch they couldn’t see her fully, but the multicolored skirt of her Lucy costume was visible sitting on the edge of the swing  “The porch swing’s taken,”

The four of them laughed while Steve groaned and rolled his eyes “Whatever, now you ate the donuts so get in the kitchen and string some more,”

“Whatever you say Steve,” Jim called up, giving a cheeky salute.

“And Lake you’d better not eat all the yarn,”

Jim shut his mouth with a click, face growing hot, the girls all giggling.

Heading inside to the kitchen, they found an open box of donuts and a ball of yarn waiting for them and got to work. Taking seats with Jim and Luz pulling out yarn and cutting long strands of it while Claire and Amity tied the donuts. And Jim did not eat all the yarn, just the scraps and trimmings thank you very much.

After they’d been sitting in silence for a few moments, Luz spoke up “So if you don’t mind my asking, how’d you guys meet?”

“Well we first met at a fundraiser Claire’s mom, Councilwoman Nuñez, was holding at my mom’s hospital,” Jim leaned back and set his scissors aside “But we didn’t really get to know each other until we were in the school play together,”

“Wait don’t tell me the play was–”

“Yep,” Claire said with a pop and a sly grin “It was Romeo and Juleit with Jim as Romeo and me as Juliet,”

“Awww, so romantic,”

“How about you two,” Claire leaned forward “How’d you meet?”

Amity’s face instantly turned bright red and Luz let out an awkward chuckle “I maaaaayyyyy have snuck into Hexside, and then one thing led to another and Amity was bringing the principal in and he tried to dissect me,”

“Noooooo,” Amity threw herself back in her chair, hands going up to cover her face “It sounds so bad when you say it out loud,”

“Hey it’s not too different from how I met Draal,” Jim cut in “He was mad that the amulet chose me and not him, then I accidentally challenged him to a fight to the death. One thing lead to another, now he lives in my basement and we’re practically siblings,”

Amity sat up, peeking through her fingers, while Luz 'awed’ again “So you gained  an unofficial brother,”

“Well actually we might be official, I still need to double check with Blinky to see if trolls count holding you by your ankles and dunking you in a mud puddle as official adoption or unofficial,”

Claire elbowed him with a giggle “Knowing Draal he probably calls that Tuesday,”

They all laughed at that, and were still laughing when Seamus came into the room.

“Hey nerds! Put down those donuts and grab the smores makings. It’s bonfire time!”

Luz scrambled to her feet, ecstatic grin plastered all over her face “Sweet! You’re gonna love this sweet potato,”

She grabbed the marshmallows while Jim picked up the graham crackers and chocolate bars. The four of them heading back outside, running straight into Darci, Toby, Hunter, Gus, and Willow underneath the porch.

“Hey guys!” Darci called “Hurry up they’re about to start the bonfire, have you seen Mary,”

“No,” Claire replied with a small frown “Last I saw she was–”

“Guys we have a situation,” Mary strode towards them from down the porch stairs, voice firm and expression dead serious.

All of them instantly turned towards her “What is it?”

Mary glanced at her phone then back up at them “There’s a story trending about an incubus and a bird woman going around vandalizing monuments and graffitiing ‘Dismantle systems of oppression’ on everything,”

You could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed those words.

“What….?” Luz squeaked out.

“Yeah it looks like the Christopher Columbus statue next to Arcadia Oaks Academy is missing its head,” Toby stared down at his phone with a wince.

“I’ve checked and there haven’t been any clear photos taken and a lot of people think it’s a hoax,” Mary’s face was chalky, a stark contrast to her usual spunk “But guys it’s– it’s everywhere,”

There was around five seconds of stunned silence where people checked their phones or stood there in shock, only to be broken by the sound of Jim’s phone ringing.

He raised it to his ear “Hello? Hey mom, oh, yeah I can put you on speaker,”

Jim tapped his phone twice and held it out.

“Hello?” Barbara’s voice echoed out.

“Hi Dr. Lake,” Toby replied “What’s happening?”

“I take it you kids have seen the story online?”

Uncomfortable looks simultaneously flashed on all of their faces.

“You…mean the one about Strickler and Eda?” Hunter said slowly.

Barbara sighed “Yes that one, I’m just calling to let you know that I have it under control and there’s no need for you kids to come home early or change your plans,”

Luz scooted forward “So is Eda…”

“They’re both at my house. Apparently they got to comparing troll meads with something called ‘apple blood’ and one thing lead to another,”

“Are they ok?” Willow spoke up.

“They’re both fine, just incredibly drunk,”

Jim couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing, brain refusing to register his mom’s words “So when you say Strickler’s drunk–”

“I mean he and Eda nearly broke down my door holding empty spray paint cans and the severed head of Christopher Columbus, then Strickler asked me if I was single and cried when I said I was married,”

Toby shouldered up next to Jim closer to the phone “Did you tell him that he’s the one you’re married to?” 

“Well I was going to, but then he threw up in the hydrangeas and passed out,” Barbara said flatly.

Even though it wasn’t directed at him Jim couldn’t help but wince at her tone. As soon as he woke up and sobered up Strickler was in for a bad time.

“What about Eda?” Amity added, siding in next to Luz “Is she alright to?”

“She’s fine, she’s just up on the roof and refuses to come down, but her partner and her sister are working on that. Anyways, we have it under control, you kids don’t worry about it and enjoy the rest of the night,”

Jim bobbed his head “Will do,”

“Thanks kiddo, love you,”

“Love you to mom,”

With that Jim hung up the phone.

“So….we still on for the bonfire?” Gus asked.

Mary grinned “Mr. S and the owl lady are fine so I say let’s do it!”

“Yeah Eda’s with Lilith and Raine, not to mention Jim’s mom,” Luz stepped back, the tension draining from her expression “She’ll be fine. Let’s just have a normal, human Halloween,”

They nodded and murmured agreement, heading out further into the yard, where the first sparks were beginning to glow in the dark night.

[paper-lilypie]

I love your nightmare demon Sun/Moon, but what if the roles were reversed? Nightmarish abomination Y/N haunting the twins??? 🤔

@opudont-donut pls look at this i am shaking

[rubykgrant]

Donut wanted to cause a little ruckus, and he sure did. Carolina and Simmons are both united on this, they are already sick of the tomato conversation, they don’t need more debates about mint being a fruit. Sarge would probably put crabgrass on his ravioli, and Wash is rightfully concerned (he’s more likely to just eat plain boiled pasta with nothing on it). Church wants this to STOP, but Grif keeps getting heckled about Red Team putting “parsley” on everything, meanwhile Tucker is uncertain of what that even is. Doc offers a helpful guide, and O’Malley wants to know what kinds of abominations everybody keeps creating in the kitchen. Kai and Caboose don’t get it, you might as well be arguing about lettuce. Tex enjoys the chaos~