#drawing actual heads is so beyond me i'm not even gonna try

[vermillioncrown]

actual height difference between the two as they both judge your batfam standard operating procedures

edit: included height

edit 2: verm bf walked by and saw "oh who are you drawing? man, they look so disappointed..."

[gibbearish]

so this post has been made unrebloggable now (shocker) but ive been feeling the need to address it since i saw it on my dash multiple times, so let's explore how lying on the internet works. more specifically, how blending truth, lies, and omissions to whip uninvolved people into anger works, because i think this is an excellent example and that pointing out the misinformation and the tactics used to spread it here is important, both in correcting the specific falsities but also in helping recognize similar tactics in the future.

so here we have several things that are technically true: staff has been very openly shitty to trans women for a long time and them banning predstrogen is clearly part of that, there is currently a movement regarding discussing transmisandry/transandrophobia, transmisogyny and transphobes sending transphobic asks is by far nothing new, and baeddel is/was a slur. however, among all of this are half-truths, unprovable speculation, or outright lies made to make you believe these events are originating specifically from transmascs.

firstly, the transandrophobia movement has been drastically misrepresented here in the same way it has been for the whole argument, "they're just trans MRAs" has been repeated so many times now that i'm gonna be hearing it in my dreams when i'm 80. i can understand not being willing to address the nuance of that whole discourse in one post that isn't directly focused on that, i'm certainly not, but in this example it's not unwillingness to address a complicated topic, it's a deliberate misrepresentation to frame one side of the discussion as The Evil Bad Ones That Can't Be Trusted. additionally, this post IS about that discourse and is just pretending it isn't to mislead a wider audience, so refusing to address it at all beyond this brief mention is deliberately misleading people about the goals of the group because They're The Other Side Of The Discourse. "transmisogynists" is used as a buzzword here, it doesn't actually refer to Anyone Who Hates Transfemmes, it refers to Transmascs Who Discuss Transmasc-Specific Oppression Using A Word They Coined To Point Out That Queer Spaces Have A Big Problem With Masculinity and just. doesn't tell you that's what it means, relying on the structure and framing of the post to create the Transmisogynist = Transmasc association in the audience's head so op doesn't have to say it outright (and of course the implied Transmasc = Transmisogynist association that follows because creating THAT association is the Actual Point of this post). the mentions of transmascs in this post are designed to look like afterthoughts, op says "typically those who espouse transandrophobia" to make it look like they're saying there's other people they're referring to here too, but almost everything in this post draws from the transandrophobia discourse. some random cis transphobe in texas has never heard the term baeddel in their entire life much less used it in a debate about transphobia, this is an intercommunity argument through and through, but op is trying to mask the fact that they're just referring to "transmascs who disagree with me specifically" and make it look like it's part of a wider trend. and again, i'm not going to go into the nuances of transandrophobia here, but i highly recommend reading some of the theory on it by @nothorses (x) and @genderkoolaid (x) because the "theyre just trans MRAs" argument kinda just collapses under its own weight as soon as you look into it even a smidgen. i've linked a couple broad overviews there but they both discuss it frequently and in-depth, specifically nothorses has a pinned post linking to many different discussion threads that i would recommend checking out if you do want to learn more about what the actual conversation surrounding these words is.

so, after framing the movement this way, they go on to say that the reason predstrogen was banned wasn't /just/ because staff has a long and established hate boner for trans women, but because the transandrophobia movement was teaming up with TERFs to mass-report her and other transfemmes, and implies that this is part of a deliberate conspiracy between Transandrophobia Truthers™, TERFs, and staff. you'll notice that there are no, say, screenshots of transmascs saying theyre deliberately reporting her or of that they're working with TERFs, behind-the-scenes lists of people who reported a certain account, or any evidence for this beyond "she was a trans woman, they're trans men who hate trans women, she got banned, so these must be related". which i find especially funny now given that photomatt has continued melting down about this since it happened and made it pretty clear it yknow. was just part of staffs ongoing hate campaign against trans women that has been going on much longer than the transandrophobia debate? and that maybe the fact that The Literal CEO is having a personal meltdown about this might explain where that could be coming from or at least why it's been allowed to continue for so long, moreso than any individual users reporting someone could? but i digress.

who reported what account is completely unprovable as a casual user unless people directly admit they did it, so to bring it up like this begs the question of what actual reasoning they have for saying it beyond trying to tie a current display of bigotry into an unrelated discourse. that's not to say it's impossible people who discuss transandrophobia were wrongfully reporting her, because again, thats something we have no way of knowing, and the internet is a shit place so i wouldn't be surprised. but given the circumstances and the rest of the lies here, i have my doubts about this being an actual yknow. Thing That Happened rather than just another lie to make people mad at transmascs. now one could make the argument that op wasn't saying transmascs are /deliberately/ teaming up with TERFs/staff, that "teaming up" was just a poor choice of words to refer to multiple groups who happen to have the same goals in mind at the same time but aren't actually coordinating with one another, but given the deliberate misinformative slant of the rest of the post and the overall phrasing in this section, i have trouble extending that grace. regardless, however, that doesn't change that who is reporting who isn't something verifiable, so stating it here as a confirmed fact is disingenuous at the absolute best, and a lie chosen specifically because it's unprovable at worst. if op /does/ have proof that transmascs have been teaming up with TERFs to get trans women banned, not including that with this post is just uhhhhh dumb, and if op /doesn't/ have proof then Why Would You Go Around Telling People That's What Happened Unless You Were Lying To Them On Purpose With Ulterior Motives.

next, op goes on to discuss the rise of the term baeddel. now as i said before, the truth here is that it certainly was a slur and certainly can still be used as one, again the internet is a shit place so i would be a fool if i tried to say "no one is using this as a slur". however, this is once again a drastic misrepresentation of the situation. baeddel's rising use is due to certain trans women reclaiming it and aligning themselves with the original group's politics, namely that femininity is good and masculinity is bad (aka terfism 101), with the added caveat that by abandoning femininity for masculinity, transmascs are evil and betraying devine womanhood and their community by putting more Evil Manhood into the world. of course that in turn is a drastic oversimplification of their politics and i highly recommend checking out this post with an actual in-depth exploration of the history (and without my added flavor), but the important part to note here is that this is not a term transmascs just Started Using one day because they hate transfems so very much as is implied here, its use is directly tied to a group of people saying "hello, here is what i am, and here is what this word means about what i believe," so others went "ok, these specific beliefs are called this." bringing up the fact that it historically was a slur is misdirection here, when you look closer this is almost a 1 to 1 translation of TERFs crying that TERF and radfem are slurs because People Don't Like Their Politics And Therefore Them, so the name for their politics is used negatively, so therefore it's a slur. that argument just has a little more oomph behind it this time because It Was A Slur Originally. and again, that isnt to say no one is now using it as a slur, the rate of decay for online discourse is ridiculous so it being boiled down to and used as "evil transfemme" has certainly already happened, but to act like /every/ use of it is a slur is literally just a lie, when you self-identify with a term based on your shared politics with the original group then you do not get to claim everyone using that term to describe those politics is doing so exclusively to attack you. also this part is entirely speculation but given that op's url is basically just. baeddel switched around to dae bel, i would hazard a guess that they perhaps are indeed aware of the origins of its re-use? but again, that's entirely unprovable and based just on wordplay, but like. given the Everything here i wouldn't be surprised. now, there's definitely an argument to be made about calling users baeddels based just off of their politics when they don't personally self-identify with it, if that constitutes calling someone a slur and if TIRF should be used instead, but crucially, that is not the argument being made here. the argument being made is "ANY AND ALL use of this term is calling someone a slur," and that literally just Isn't The Case.

finally, to tie the whole post off, op reminds us 1) if you hear anything bad about any trans woman ever, it's probably a lie to make her look bad, and 2) if you hear anyone say anything about transandrophobia, disregard everything else they have to say because they hate trans women. not "be critical of the things you see or get sent" or "be on the lookout for things following a certain pattern," a unilateral "anything bad is probably fake and anyone who uses the bad words is probably evil." that is not something someone does if they are genuinely trying to raise awareness of an ongoing trend, that is what someone does when they want you to turn your brain off and be mad at a group no matter what they say.

so yeah, in summary, do be critical of the things you see and be on the lookout for certain patterns, because sometimes people will just Lie to you. or, sometimes people will tell you portions of the truth while leaving out crucial bits so that you'll come to the conclusion they want without anyone being able to say they lied to you without typing up a thirty paragraph long hell post. transmisogyny is absolutely a problem on this site and there are 100% valuable conversations to be had about it and its presence within the trans community, but this post is not that. this post uses real transmisogyny and the wrongful termination of a trans woman's account as set dressing to say that it was all because of evil transmascs who run the trans community behind the scenes conspiring to take out transfemmes, so you should ignore anything they have to say because All of it is secretly motivated by transmisogyny. they're never discussing transandrophobia because it's something that actually effects them, they're doing it to hurt trans women by saying they have it worse. they're never telling you about shitty things a trans woman did to spread awareness, they're lying to make her look bad, or even if it's true they're only talking about it as part of a hate campaign because she's trans, they wouldn't care otherwise. they're never using a specific term because People Use That Term For Themselves, they're calling someone a slur because they hate trans women. there's always an explanation you can think up that ties it back to transmisogyny, and op says that instead of assessing all of what someone says and the context behind it to determine if that's what's happening, you should assume transmisogyny is the answer and refuse to engage any further as soon as you see a word you've been told is bad.

this post is discourse recruitment masquerading as a public service announcement that doesn't offer you any routes to actually learn more about what's going on, it just tells you Here's What's Happening, Here's Who's Evil And Should Be Ignored, And If You Disagree You're Also Evil And Should Be Ignored. content of the actual post aside, i think anything framed that way should be taken with a MASSIVE grain of salt and this would have raised my alarm bells even if i wasn't already pretty familiar with the arguments, people who genuinely want you to know something just because it's good to know will give you options to learn more or encourage you to actually use your critical thinking to assess things, not tell you to sit down and shut up and ignore anyone who disagrees with them.

anyways i guess tldr

[decafbat]

i really like how much depth your art has, do you think you could show how you break down bodies when sketching if that makes sense? it’s something i struggle with a lot in my art! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

ok apologies in advance, this is probably going to be a really long and tangential rant about art that may or may not actually help you in learning how to construct bodies. im just gonna put it under a cut to save everyone from seeing this huge text wall.

i dont think its gonna be possible for you to replicate my methods here, because theyre mostly just really specific shortcuts for finding certain proportions and reference points for anatomy, which i'm fairly versed in, but not as much as i'd like to be. the shortcuts you'll need will be different from mine. im glad you think my art has depth, that is something i am trying to seek very intentionally right now, and i dont think im even close to the depth of form i am actually aiming for. so like. this makes making a tutorial kind of inherently hard. nevertheless, i threw this quick sketch together after like 3 failed attempts. (i was doing those attempts digitally, ended up giving up on that and going back to traditional because its what im most comfortable with rn)

i didnt get all the steps i took to get here because scanning that much would be cumbersome but ill try to explain how i got here. i start with the head almost every time.

i use a lot of symbolic/graphic shapes when drawing heads and dont stick to using forms very often besides the circle at the center of the head, which i use as the base to form these graphic shapes around. think of it like "wrapping" the ball in various textures and masses. the eyes are usually "textured" onto the head, notice how the her left eye looks narrower then her right. of course i try to make sure her bangs sit along the curve of the sphere and her ears look like they sit on opposite sides of the head. its easy to forget that part, making the head look unsymmetrical. the particular masses of leica's head would be her snout, which is just a curve extended slightly outside the diameter of the ball, and her hair, which are two strange organic shapes that are quite hard to draw, two hair sprig anime antennae things (forgive me, i forgot the word for them,) and the back of the head, which i usually need to extend slightly. its a little too extended here, needs more on the top, i fix this in the final pass. this was a quick sketch, so i didnt focus too hard on the forms of the head beyond the most essential ones for her design, but i sometimes highlight the form of cheeks with curved hatching, or try to make the eyes appear more sunken-in as they are on human faces. i dont know how to proportion the neck and torso correctly until i draw the head, so i always do it first. next, i did the torso.

so heres why i said that you probably wont be able to replicate this approach. you do kind of just have to practice anatomy, i cant just make it make sense because im not very good at explaining this stuff, but ill try to go through what i did here. so, i generally use simplified bone shapes to find proportions and reference points, as well as more complicated shapes like those of elbows and knees. i try to study fairly often because im not satisfied with here im at with this stuff yet. of course, i dont think i'll ever be. so i'll usually start with the ribcage, add a shoulderblade out the back to find the shoulder, the armbones come out of that, the bone in the upper arm connects to the ulna with a sort of three-pronged attachment, one big knurl in the middle, which forms the thrust of the elbow, two little ones on the side. i think those are part of the ulna but i dont remember. see, you dont really have to know what exactly they do as long as you know what they look like. the ulna does some goofy rotation shit i dont understand, connects to the wrist, and then we have a hand, which, i mean, im not good enough at hands to even be telling you how to do it, but i just have a big squarish mass and some little hotdog fingers coming out of that. you can see on her left hand that ill have a big circle forming the the area on the hand where the thumb attaches... theres more depth to the hands, i think you can easily find better tutorials then i could offer. anyway, under the ribcage theres the pelvis, represented with a box. ill get into that when i talk about the legs. i wanna briefly talk about the way i add the flesh and fat to the bones.

so, i really can't give a comprehensive crash course on anatomy, but i can point you towards the morpho series, which is where i get most of this stuff from. you can get very far with the volumes Simplified Forms, Fat and Skin, and Skeleton and Bone Reference Points. moving on, i just kind of have a feel for where the masses attach by now. the important thing to remember when drawing fat characters like this is that the fat should "hang" from the bones and flesh, drooping down slightly. leicas fat hangs substantially, so she's not very wide despite her weight. this is important to her character design i feel. i almost always draw characters naked first when doing serious drawings because it will come in handy knowing where the forms of the body are when i add the clothing. by focusing on the way her body looks naked, i can modify the impression of those forms when adding clothes, and when i add them later on in this drawing, leica will take on the distinctive boxy look i try to draw her with.

if you look at the arm, youll see that the place the line of bone sits is very high compared to the whole mass of the arm, the flesh and fat of the arm "hang" from the bone, and then the upper arm squishes against the bent forearm too. even if the anatomy in the arm is indistinct, it can still look convincing when the forms act realistically against one another. the elbow has much less fat connected to it, so its more bony then the rest. this isnt actually consistent on all people so like, think about that kind of thing when designing characters, like i was talking about before, fat can sit in infinite different ways. maybe if i was doing a more objective anatomy lesson i'd draw cath, because i do have a sort of vague understanding of muscle placement that doesnt come through here, but probably would if i was drawing a scrawnier character. let me know if you want that.

a word on the breasts too: they hang a bit lower then you'd expect, keep that in mind. the attachment point is also angled, as the line shows. the line starts roughly in the middle of the torso and ends around the armpit, but the form of the breast can go underneath the armpit or even connect around the fold of fat in the back. many things to think about. i love boob shapes. ok lets finally get on with it and talk about the legs.

so, the really specific shape of the pelvis doesnt matter that much unless youre drawing a really thin character, so its just a box here. out from the sides of the pelvis, extending out more then you'd expect, is the femur, which ends in a similar joint to the arm. this shape helps me figure out the form of the knee. two masses on each side with a bunch of complex and weirdly shaped bones forming the kneecap, which i have omitted because i dont yet know shit enough to include them. i am learning though. so, obviously the feet are just scribbles here because im just gonna put her feet in socks anyway. you really dont have to do more then you have to. a few tips i can offer here, the butt should hang a bit too when drawing fat characters, i think the butt is supposed to start just below the pelvis if i remember, but take that with a grain of salt. i also didnt really do that here but its hard to tell because she's facing mostly forward. again, i dont think i can really communicate what's going on here. morpho has a lot of great drawings explaining the shapes and muscles of the legs, all things i might focus on more when drawing a scrawnier character. for this case, i regrettably don't go too hard on the legs. also i should note that legs would usually be much longer, leica is really short so ive exaggerated the proportions to communicate that. i may change my mind on that front in the future and give her more grounded proportions. the important thing to remember with legs is just getting a nice hierarchy of forms going. bigger thigh going into smaller calf going into smaller foot. it mostly comes automatically now.

i added the clothing, shaped up her head a bit, added a bit of fur. i put her in her classic outfit, just a sweater and jeans. i enjoy the big thick folds that come out of these clothes, and big areas of white space too. its nice. i try my best to form all the folds around the forms of the body i drew earlier. thats one case where i really really have no idea what im doing and could never explain it in words. its just some fun intuitive play with loops and lines. this is at around the stage for a sketch where i'd do inks, or if it was going to be a finished pencil drawing i'd erase out parts piece by piece and replace them with nicer and more defined lines and tones.

i guess that's all i can offer , i hope that halped.

[alwayslurkinginthebackground]

Something Good - A "Kissing You" Drabble

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader Warnings: Brief mentions of sex, but nothing beyond that. It's fluff city. Word Count: 1250 Prompt #47: "I've had a terrible day, so just kiss me." a/n: I RISE FROM THE DEAD! It's been (checks notes) like a YEAR? Idk, life happened. I have too many side gigs. But I'm HERE. I'm BACK. Here's some FLUFF.

Masterlist | Previous Drabble | Next Drabble

Nothing could have prepared you for the shitstorm that was your day. Nothing.

Even if you had woken up in Frankie’s arms this morning (you hadn’t), even if you’d managed to get more than one bite of your breakfast in your mouth (it was only half a bite, actually), even if work hadn’t been one dumpster fire after another (total dumpster fire count = 7), it still wouldn’t have been enough. Add on an extra half hour of traffic because of road construction, a lack of a lunch break, and a rainstorm that caught you just as you were walking to your car and it had been, in fact, the worst day you’d had in a long time. 

You’re still sopping wet when you open the door to the house you share with your boyfriend, wincing as your clothes drip on the floor you just cleaned last night. You can hear the clank of a pot in the kitchen as you set down your bag and try to make sense of the mop that is your hair, leading you to follow the sound. 

His back is turned to you, broad shoulders stretching the fabric of his well-worn grey t-shirt as he moves seemlessly around the kitchen. You stand there, in the doorway, staring at him because you’re helpless to do anything else, droplets of water still dripping on the floor around you. 

“You’re home, Cari…” he says, stopping short when he’s turned to face you fully, eyes raking over your body with a mixture of what you know is love, concern, and the desire that always lives in his retinas. “What happened?” 

“Shit day,” you begin, giving him the sparknotes version of your day fresh out of hell. “Traffic, someone quit, no lunch, drowned by the rain.” 

Frankie’s gaze softens as he steps toward you, enveloping you in a hug just before you let the tears fall. He rocks you back and forth softly, hushing in your ear as you shiver from both the cold air on your skin and the sobs that are coursing through your body. 

“Gonna get you all wet,” you squeak out, trying to pull back. 

“Nope, you need this,” he replies firmly, arms keeping you in place. You don’t fight it, absorbing his warmth, his scent, his presence, everything you need to feel a bit more like normal. It’s only when your tears begin to subside that he allows you to pull away, his thumbs quickly wiping at your cheeks. “Go take a shower and when you get back I’ll have everything set for dinner, okay?” 

You don’t argue, and he presses a kiss against your cheek before shooing you toward your bedroom. The shower helps, so do the dry clothes, especially when you slip one of his shirts over your head. It was your favorite - the one you’d stolen from him when your fourth date had turned into the fifth and the sixth when he’d brought you home and didn’t let you leave his bed the rest of the weekend. 

When you stepped down the hallway, you found that the floor had been cleaned again and the lights were dimmed to a soft glow. He wasn’t in the kitchen where you’d left him, so you chased the smell of whatever he’d made for dinner straight into the living room. 

And there was Frankie. 

He was in the midst of throwing a blanket onto what appeared to be a makeshift bed on the floor, a nest of sorts complete with a layer of cushions from the couch, every pillow from both your bed and the guest room, and a wealth of blankets to top it off. Two plates were sitting on the table pilled high with food, a glass of wine next to each, and when you finally drew your eyes back to him, he looked almost nervous. 

“I thought that maybe we could have a movie night?” he explains, shifting from one foot to the other as you draw closer. “And I made chicken parm and there’s wine and…”

He’s cut off when you kiss him firmly. His hands splay quickly across your hips, hauling you against his body. You’re both breathless when you reluctantly come up for air. 

“I’m guessing you like it?” 

“I’ve had a terrible day. Just kiss me.” 

He does, returning his lips to yours in a bruising battle for dominance. When his hand finds the back of your head, you nearly lose control. You feel like climbing him, like you can’t get enough. Of his warmth, of his smell, of him. “Frankie…” you groan, your lips chasing his when he pulls back again. 

You lean toward him, eager to continue, but he dodges your advance. “Dinner’s going to get cold,” he reminds you before running his hand down to grasp yours, pulling you onto the mess of pillows and blankets. He almost falls in the process, and he would’ve taken you down with him had he not caught his balance at the last second. Once you’re settled, he leans over to the table to grab your dinner and the remote. “I queued up your favorite,” he tells you proudly, and you can’t help but lean over to kiss his jaw when the opening notes of The Sound of Music come to life in your living room.

When you’re finished with dinner, you snuggle against him, his arm wrapped around you in a protective embrace, and when the intermission hits, he kisses your forehead before untangling his body from yours. “I’ll be right back,” he reassures you, and you watch him go as he grabs your dishes and leaves the room, returning a minute later with a couple of packages in his hand. 

“What are you up to, Morales?” 

The smirk on his face has you practically melting into the blankets, and it isn’t until he’s next to you that you realize it’s a pair of face masks. “Thought your face might be dry after being caught in the rain, so I figured…” he trails off, eyes scanning you as he gauges your reaction.

“You really did think of everything,” you whisper as you pull one of the masks from his hand, ripping open the top and pulling the sheet from the package. He smiles brightly, opening his own as you lean into his space, your fingers guiding the mask onto his face and smoothing out the edges. He follows your example, although you have to help him line the sheet up on your face before he presses it down onto your skin, your eyes falling shut as you relish his careful touch. 

“You look ridiculous,” you tell him once you’ve opened your eyes again, trying your hardest not to laugh and disturb the mask on your own face. 

He hums, “funny, because I think you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He’s serious, you know, but you roll your eyes at his cheesy comment anyway, reaching to set a timer on your phone. When the intermission ends, you let your hand find his in the space between you, threading your fingers together. His thumb runs in a soothing pattern over your skin, and if his gaze lingers on you instead of the TV, you don’t seem to notice. 

And later, long after the masks have been discarded, when the movie is drawing to a close and you’re wrapped in his arms again, you wonder what you did to deserve him. 

Although, you suppose, it must’ve been something good.

[icannotgetoverbirds]

buckle up, this one's a doozy

Idk if it's actually a doozy, but this is the story of how I deconverted from a cult and got my egg cracked at approximately the same time, all thanks to... weed.

Let's set the scene, shall we?

It is December 22nd, 2021. The pandemic has been raging for nearly two years at this point. I am, at this point, still a believing mormon. That said, my attendance to church meetings has been incredibly spotty, with the most reliable method to get me to worship being choir practice.

I am laying in my bed in the evening, and of all possible things, I am thinking about weed. Namely, the church's policy about weed, and the absolute failure that is the war on drugs, and my personal belief system (and also about whether or not I should try weed for my anxiety disorder).

What's mormonism's policy on weed, you ask? Well, it's surprisingly liberal for a whole-ass cult, but still has enough nonsense for the events of this story to play out. To put it simply, you can absolutely use weed for medicinal purposes, but recreational purposes is a big no-no.

This, of course, presents a dilemma: where do you draw the line between recreational and medicinal use, especially in the case of, say, using it to medicate an anxiety disorder? I'm sure that the Church-Approved™ conclusion is "That's between you and The Lord, figure it out yourself, good luck!" I don't remember if I came to that conclusion or not, but I know for a fact that my "prove beyond a shadow of a doubt before you make an important decision based off of Feelings Supposedly From God Or The Holy Spirit" ass would not have been satisfied with that answer.

So I think about it in terms of politics, and logic, and science. After all, science is just our frail and minuscule way of comprehending all that Our Father Who Art In Heaven has created, right? So if Our Father Who Art In Heaven can't give me a straight answer, science surely can.

I come to a few conclusions. First of all, there are very few people, if any, who are qualified to draw that line. I am not included in that group of people. Secondly, nobody in their right goddamned mind would so much as try to draw that line unless they have some serious qualifications in the variety of fields that it applies to. Third of all, and this is where shit starts to unravel very fucking quickly: who in the goddamned fuck are a bunch of old white men who've probably never seen a gram of weed in their entire lives to think themselves qualified to draw that line?

The shelf cracks. The prophets are fallible, even in this day and age. Not only are they fallible, but whoever made this decision is a FUCKING DUMBASS. God must be looking down at them and shaking his head disapprovingly, huh?

So I think to myself, yknow what, this is a stupid fucking rule. And my autistic-disregard-for-stupid-fucking-rules-having-ass was not about to tolerate it. So what do I do? Metaphorically speaking, I chuck it out the window. Who cares? I'm gonna do weed for my anxiety, and if anybody tells me that I'm disobeying god, I can tell them that god doesn't fucking give a shit about weed if he's as kind and loving as the prophets say he is.

A moment passes.

Now wait just a goddamned second! If I'm chucking this rule out the window, isn't there something else I should re-examine? If I'm disregarding what the prophets have said for my own pleasure and recreation, isn't there something regarding the lives, livelihoods, and joie de vivre of countless other people, myself included, that I should be looking at?

Suddenly, the years of (pent-up and suppressed) sheer fucking indignation of the way queer people have been othered by the church hits me all at once, full fucking force. I am angry, angrier than I have ever been. Abso-fucking-lutely not. No. If the prophets are wrong about weed, then they're DEFINITELY wrong about queer people.

And in this moment, I make a decision. "Until the mormon leaders get their shit together, I'm out! I'm fucking done! I'm gonna go live it up and get blazed out of my gourd for shits and giggles, and maybe I'll try a tiny sip of beer, and by god I am going to transition-"

"HEY WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED SECOND"

[Plain text ID: Text in a large, bold, italicized red font that reads "HEY WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED SECOND"]

Shelf shattered, omelette made of my egg, life ruined for the better.

The next morning, I come out to my mom and sister. I still believe in god and mormonism and yadda yadda, I just think the leadership needs to get their heads out of their asses.

Not long after, I decide to finally check out exmormon spaces. Yknow, get the full experience.

I am bombarded with "HOLY FUCK IT'S A CULT. IT RUINED MY LIFE. IT RUINED YOUR LIFE. IT TORE MY FAMILY APART. IT'S NOT EVEN REAL. READ THE CES LETTER, CHECK MORMONISM AGAINST THE BITE MODEL. THINK FOR YOUR GODDAMNED SELF FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE."

I check the sources provided. Well, I'll be damned. They weren't kidding, that mormonism sure can cult started by a con man. At this point, I am now beyond the point of no return. There's no going back. I have seen the light. I want out forever, I want my records removed, mom pick me up I'm scared.

My family never looks at me the same way again :>

[solarmorrigan]

Been dealing with a fever and stomach bug the past few days and let me tell you it’s s u c k e d, but what’s been getting me through it, you ask??

Oh well, none other than Hands Where I Can See Them!! Babe, when I tell you I’ve actually been frothing at the mouth over each chapter I read🫢🫢 I love it all!! Heart? Content. Soul? At peace. Expectations? Blown. Hotel? Trivago.

Hello! I'm so glad the story could keep you company while you've been feeling sick, and it was very kind of you to take a minute to let me know! So, thank you <3

Also, I haven't felt like writing anything in days, but I had a little pop of an idea reading your message, so I do hope you're feeling better by now, but if you're not (or even if you are, really), here's, like. A get well soon ficlet. Or something? (I was just excited to actually feel like writing something, I hope this isn't weird)

-

Steve looks absolutely miserable. His face is pale where it isn’t flushed, his hair is sticking up in sweaty clumps, and his eyes is exhaustion-bruised. He’s been sick for two days, running an annoyingly persistent fever and stricken with an inability to keep much of anything beyond water and saltines down. Eddie’s never been very good with sick people, but he’s doing his best to take care of Steve – though Steve isn’t the most cooperative patient.

Currently, he’s sitting on the floor of the bathroom, half curled up on the bathmat and propped up against the wall beside the toilet, eyes shut like he’s trying to sleep there.

“You wanna go back to bed?” Eddie asks him, and Steve grimaces, shaking his head.

“No point. I’m just gonna end up in here again, anyway,” he mumbles.

“Baby, you can’t sleep on the bathroom floor,” Eddie says.

“Not if you keep talking, I can’t,” Steve shoots back, eyes still stubbornly drooped shut.

“You’re exhausted. You’ll sleep better in bed,” Eddie wheedles.

“Don’t try to make me leave the bathroom. The toilet is my best friend. As soon as I can move, we’re gonna elope,” Steve insists drowsily.

Eddie doesn’t even bother to hold in his laugh. “Robin is your best friend,” he tells Steve, reaching over to card his fingers through Steve’s hair. “And I thought you were going to elope with me?”

Steve groans, petulant and tired. “Fine. I’ll elope with you as soon as I stop feeling like shit.” He finally opens his eyes, fixing Eddie with an earnest look. “But I’m serious, I really don’t want to move.”

Biting at the corner of his lip, Eddie thinks for a moment. “Okay,” he says, bending down to press a kiss to the top of Steve’s head. “I got an idea, wait here.”

He doesn’t know where he expects Steve to go, looking and feeling the way he does, but Eddie is quick all the same. He runs out into the living room and swipes all the throw pillows and a couple of couch cushions, then, balancing everything awkwardly, he pauses in the bedroom to snag the fuzzy throw blanket from the end of their bed before returning to the bathroom with his spoils.

Steve watches with curious, hazy eyes as Eddie puts down cushions and pillows against the other wall, effectively creating a little nest in the corner of their admittedly small bathroom. It takes up a good chunk of the floor space, and he has to move the hamper out into the hall, but he figures it’s decidedly more comfortable than where Steve is sitting now.

“Okay, c’mere.” Eddie settles on the cushions and beckons Steve over, and Steve doesn’t need to be told twice.

He’s still fever-warm as he leans up against Eddie, so Eddie only draws the blanket up to their waists, but Steve seems content, anyway.

“Probably shouldn’t be this close to you. You’ll catch my crud,” Steve murmurs, though he clearly has no intent to move, cuddled into Eddie’s side like he is.

“If I do, will you build me a pillow nest, too?” Eddie asks.

“Any time you want,” Steve says. He wiggles a little, as if testing to see if he can get any closer to Eddie before he settles in, his head propped in the crook of Eddie’s neck and his eyes drifting closed again. “Thank you. For being here.”

Eddie presses a kiss to Steve’s temple. “Any time you need.”

[gleefultogo]

Page 856

Alright well, too no one's surprise that battle was beyond hella boring and nothing major actually happened, plus these raiders had the brain cells of a fucking fly by running past their enemies or whatever so ofc half of them got butchered. I don't know how kique gonna write up or draw en entire war scene if no one can do their jobs correctly. It'll most likely be lackluster just like this was. sooooo anyways. F your door dog, why the fuck is he even happy to see kargo at all? like wtf? did he have a 180 personality switch to? This mf was dead set on sending kargo for execution to the capital and told him to basically go screw himself by giving him a head-start to try and hide his way out of being captured. Honestly it's really confusing and makes that whole past page seem pointless if he was just gonna forgive him without a really given reason. though i'm not surprised that much because kique has done it before with character's for stupid reasons or none that don't make sense. moving forward, blah blah they are in their new territory and somehow raun is able to wrap vigr in bandages? no clue how he managed that but ight I guess.

also Raun (aka bootleg kargo) he grosses me out, he went too flirting with keirr too now very obviously flirting with vigr, which again mind you is a rapist. If kique is that dumb too put these two together its gonna make him look even worse. Plus isn't raun like aware that he's from MT? they are neighbors after all and have been around for a long time. also broken ribs huh? To be honest that panel of him didn't look that forceful enough to even have broken ribs in my honest opinion. he also would not be able to talk in complete sentences and probably be in certain positions other than laying down to heal which takes a long time. and that's about it really, ferah's face looks like someone took a hot iron too it and I just dont give a shit about rogio lol

[jitterbugjive]

I hate that people can easily find the stupid and shitty things I said and did over 5 years ago and jump to the conclusion that that's who I am, and there's no easy way for anyone to see all the efforts I've been making since then to NOT be that person. It's hard to find all my apologies and explanations because I didn't tag them all properly. I've tried time and time again to explain that I was mimicking the behavior bad adults gave me when I was growing up and that no one really called me out on that behavior until it was too late. I've tried to explain that since then I've been going through extensive therapy to separate bad learned behavior from who I want to actually be. There's so much more to this whole story than what one small chunk of the internet is making it out to be. People who actually know me know that this has been eating me up constantly and that I am always living in fear of losing everything to this drama.

especially since some of that info takes quotes out of context, jumps to conclusions that aren't true, or flat out lies about what certain artworks are depicting or meaning to convey (Like claiming a grown ass adult is a child even tho I have proof the character looks totally different as an adult than as a child, or claiming that a shock piece meant to make people reel back in horror was a fetish when it was not at all that)

It takes clips of things without the full picture and puts words in my mouth.

Here's a little something about how I used to talk about sore subjects: I would make a controversial sounding statement, but then I would explain myself in a way that would show the statement wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. A lot of the time they just take that bad statement and paste it for the world to see, without giving any of that context of me explaining why I said that and why it's not what it sounds like.

I wish people were smart enough to spot cherry picking when they see it, but they just aren't. They'll see one sentence, and someone saying "look they're supporting this bad thing" and that's all they need to think that's what it is. People aren't smart enough to really ask questions and try to understand a situation, all they want is face value to tell them how to think and feel.

People aren't going to bother to listen to me because I'm "the bad guy" and I'll "say anything to cover my ass".

Listen, if I was really that horrible of a person, don't you think there would be more evidence out there that is very clear and blunt and not just making assumptions on what a thing means?

I'm never gonna sit here and say what I said and did wasn't wrong, it was, but it was not done because I was trying to be a terrible person or prey on anyone. It was because I was insanely misguided by someone who groomed me for 5 years since childhood and then abused me for another 3 in a really toxic relationship. And then I never got HELP for it, I never got therapy to cope with it, I never even realized until way later that 'holy shit this person was 7 years older than me and was taking advantage of me the whole time'. Like I knew they were abusive but adults being friends with children was so normalized in my head, and throughout my life many adults or older kids exposed me to things I shouldn't have been and it skewed in my head what was appropriate behavior or not. Or what was okay to draw or not. And a lot of my opinions were formed around this adult who convinced me things like loli/shota were fine as long as they were strictly made up, and he fed me a lot of nonsense about what does and doesn't make a predator to cover his own ass. I was seriously fucked up almost beyond repair for a long time.

I have a warning on my blog now that minors shouldn't be following me, I make it a point to not ever work with minors on projects or talk to a minor in any capacity beyond a fan to artist relationship. I understand now that it is my responsibility as a NSFW artist that I simply cannot have minors as friends. And being much older now I don't even want minors as friends anyway. When I was in my early 20s the age gap didn't feel as bad but I'm definitely feeling it now and I just don't want to deal with minors any more.

I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm not spewing apologetics for horrible people, I've been doing my best to be a much better and more informed person

And I have no easy way to prove any of it in a way that will matter

I'm only talking about this now because once again I was kicked out of something because someone found that old info and that was all it took. No one cares about my side of things.

And I don't know if this will ever go away

I don't know if I'll ever find any amount of comfortable success because I can't get rid of this shit and on the internet it doesn't matter how long ago you did something or how much you've changed, you did it and therefor you're bad forever.

I hate this shit so much.

[coffeecat1983]

Coraline: Same Goals pt 3

Part 1 here

Part 2 here.

Ending part under the cut

   Paws stepped out from a hole in a tree as the Cat entered the other world. He sat at the base of the porch steps, staring intently at the door. After a while it opened and there was sharp tapping as the Beldam came out. She stared back at him with a hint of disgust.      "What are you doing back here?"    He kept her gaze. "I've come to make a deal."      "And why should I make a deal with vermin?"    He refused to blink, his stare as steady and calculating as her own.      "I have something you want."      "What would that be?"    Stretching with a yawn, the Cat paced a little before sitting again, keeping well out of her reach. "A cat has nine lives, each life equal to eighteen human years. I will give you three of these, if you also take three and give them to the boy." As he had hoped, she was quiet as she considered his offer.      "Interesting. But what do you gain from this 'deal'?"      "Nothing beyond my remaining time spent with Wybie."    She tilted her head, her neck creaking as she did so. "How do you know I won't take all your lives?"      "I don't. You and I have the same goals, only you want the reward for yourself. I want it because I care for someone."    Her remaining hand halted in mid wave. "Your lives. You will have one left if I take your offer."      "I know, and it's enough for me."    The Beldam's feet clicked harshly on the porch. Her hand trailed lightly over the railing as she walked. "You're doing this, purely from love? Can vermin," she hesitated as she gathered the words, "love something?"      "Not that it's any of your business, but I have a fondness for both children, and I want to see them happy." he preened a bit before sitting up straighter. "Us cats aren't entirely selfish, you know. We actually try to give back to the ones we care about."

   She considered this briefly before waving her hand.      "Done."    That morning was Sunday, and it was cool and clear out. Coraline bounded out of the kitchen with a cry of 'I got it!' as someone knocked on the door. Opening it, her smile vanished.      "O-Oh, hi Wybie."      "Hey Jonesy," his tone was cheerful as he held up pencils and paper. "I'm feelin' better so Gramma said I could come over. I thought we could draw what to carve on our pumpkins."    Stepping aside to let him in Coraline felt confused.      "You're feeling better?"      "Yeah, a lot! Gramma even said if I'm still okay tomorrow, I can pick out a pumpkin after school." There was a soft 'mrp' as the Cat strolled in, making Wybie laugh. Hanging his coat, he headed for the living room. "C'mon, I got some ideas I want you to hear!"

   That night after saying goodnight to her parents, Coraline heard a faint scratching at the bedroom window. Opening it she stroked the Cat's neck.      "I don't know what to do." she lamented. "If I tell Wybie what I did, it's gonna hurt him so bad."      "You don't have to worry about that." he replied with a purr. "It's been taken care of." Jumping down he went to the bed and settled down beside her pillow as she crawled under the blankets. Propping up on her elbow she began to pet him.      "So, what did you do?"      "Let's just say cats have extra lives for a reason."      "Oh." It then hit her what he meant. "You mean you- but you only have nine, right? Do you have any left?"    He stayed quiet.      "Well, whatever you did, thank you." His blue eyes blinked slowly as he purred.

END By "CC"

[imagine-darksiders]

Y/N convinces the Horsemen to join them to hang out with one of their best friends, Y/N and said friend are jokingly insulting each other and friend joking responds to an insult with "I'm gonna kill you" and the Horseman thinks they mean it literally.

I have got scenarios for Strife, but I'm really sorry, I lost motivation for his. It just wasn't feeling right, but I hope the other three Horsemen make up for it :)

War:

“If you take that last slice of pizza, I'm going to kill you,” is perhaps not the most intelligent thing for your dear friend, John, to say within ear-shot of your equally dear friend, War.

Your mouth opens to laugh as you lean away from the pizza box and raise your hands in surrender, acquiescing easily. Far be it from you to risk having your fingers bitten off by your ravenous friend. But just as John's fingertips dip into the box to seek out his prize, he's suddenly torn from his seat on the sofa with a startled yelp and hoisted over the back of it, his legs paddling uselessly at several feet of empty air.

“The HELL!?” he bleats as you frantically leap from your own seat and whirl around to find War standing rigidly behind you, his metal gauntlet fisted into the back of John's collar.

With an indignant squawk of, “War!” you dart around the sofa and snag a handful of the Horseman's blood-red cloak, heaving back on it with all your strength whilst he only draws a hapless John closer to his hood, snarling at your fellow human with sharpened canines and a ferocious scowl that knits his brows together.

“What is the meaning of this slight!?” War bellows, giving John a rough jostle, “You dare to threaten an ally of mine?”

The man in his immoveable grasp wheezes, digging his fingers beneath his top button in an attempt to keep it from pressing so ardently into his throat. “Wh-at're you... talking about!?” he rasps, beyond bewildered - a feeling you concur with wholeheartedly.

“War – dammit, War!” Giving up on the cloak, you instead throw your arms around the immense Horseman's elbow and give his appendage an almighty wrench, but even throwing your weight back doesn't budge him an inch. “Put him down!”

Stiffly, War's head creaks around to peer at you from the corner of one, ice-blue eye. Peeling his lips back, he seethes, “I will not stand idly by while a threat is made against my charge.”

You're under no illusions. Historically, if War perceives a threat, he'll pursue it with dogged ambition until he's close enough to put his broadsword straight through its chest. John is in grave danger right now, and although the Horseman might have something of a soft spot for you, you're by no means influential enough to keep him restrained if he wants to run someone through with Chaoseater.

All you can do is try to reason with him.

“Y/n-!” John manages to squeak out, but he's silenced by a sudden, vicious shake.

Thinking fast, you duck beneath War's outstretched arm to stand in front of him, drawing yourself up as high as you can and reaching out a hand, placing a warm palm against the Horseman's chiselled jaw.

The move is so foreign, so unexpected, that War's glare bursts open to a look of shock and he swivels his eyes down to the tiny fingertips resting near the hollow of his cheek.

Something small and tentative ignites in the Horseman's chest, so different from the sparks of rage circling his heart. Outwardly, he rushes to drop his glower back into place, levelling a murderous glare at the human dangling from his grasp, but once again, you try to soothe his ire with your voice, murmuring softly, “War, it's okay. It was just a joke. Just a bad joke, like the ones Strife sometimes makes, yeah?”

“Strife would never threaten to kill you,” the Horseman points out darkly, never once taking his eyes off John.

“Think about it,” you plead, “Do you really believe John would actually threaten me while you're in the room?”

War blinks, and miraculously, the metal fingers around John's collar loosen ever so slightly. 'No,' the Nephilim supposes, 'No, probably not.'

The human, John, may be an imbecile, but he hasn't lost his mind... Not yet.

With little more than a dismissive grunt, War finally pries his hand apart and allows John to drop like a stone.

Needless to say, your friend isn't too keen on sticking around to risk incurring the wrath of War again, so he beats a hasty retreat through your door, tossing a quick, “Text me when he's gone!” by way of a few parting words.

Death:

You suppose you should be grateful that Death is the most shrewd of the Horsemen. He, at least, has learned that not everything humans say to one another needs to be taken so literally. However, when it comes to matters concerning your well-being, he's never been one to take any chances.

Your friend is sitting on your left, Death to your right, in a worn, old armchair he's long since staked a claim over.

“Y/n, give me the remote.”

“I am not watching another hour of Strictly,” you laugh, playfully holding the television remote far away from your friend's grasping hands, “I just can't do it!”

They make a calculated lunge, succeeding in grabbing your wrist and grinning wickedly as they shout, “Give it back!”

“No way!”

“Give it back, or I swear to god, I'm gonna kill you!”

No sooner have the words left your friend's mouth than the temperature in the living room plummets.

Immediately, the pair of you know that something is wrong. It's a dead giveaway when your breath suddenly starts billowing out in large, white puffs of air. A single creak of old springs is all that alerts you to the looming threat, one far greater to your friend than it is to you. Meeting their eye, you shoot them a pointed look and hope they catch the meaning behind your furrowed brow and wide, worried eyes. 'No sudden movements.'

Slowly, cautiously, you turn your head towards the Nephilim, hardly surprised to find that he's gone from sitting to standing with barely a sound to warn you. That dread-inducing bone mask stares hard at your friend, who snatches their hand from your wrist and cowers backwards against the sofa cushions, likely wondering what had gone wrong. You promised them they were in no danger from your ethereal friend.

You, on the other hand, know exactly what's provoked him, and as grateful as you are to have Death himself in your corner, there are a few instances where you wish he'd tone down his overbearing tendencies. 'Eldest sibling syndrome,' Strife had called it, 'He's a son of a bitch, but he's a protective son of a bitch.'

“Death...” you utter warily, shifting forwards to better cover your friend from the Horseman's piercing glare, “It was just a joke. This is my friend, they'd never hurt me.”

Spluttering, they whip their eyes dart frantically between you and the Horseman. “That's what he thinks I-...” Aghast, they lean around you to meet Death's stare, incessant apologies already babbling from their lips. “- I am so sorry, I didn't mean-! I wasn't being serious!? It was just a joke-”

“- Oh?” the Nephilim cuts in with a cool air of indifference that fools nobody, “Odd. I was under the impression that jokes are intended to be funny.”

“This coming from you,” you deadpan whilst your friend stares at you like you've lost your mind.

You haven't. You don't think you have anyway, though it may certainly seem that way, talking back to a being so powerful that he can alter physics with just a slight change in his mood. But Death revoked his status as the Universe's Scariest Bastard when he announced himself as your guardian.

“Stop trying to be intimidating,” you hiss at him, earning a flat look in response. Right... He's not the type of Horseman who has to try at intimidation. Instead, you roll your eyes at him and say, “Look, just sit down, please? You know it was a joke. I know it was a joke. I'm in no danger here.”

Death's poisonous glare continues eating into your friend's ducked head, but at last, the ancient Nephilim gives a grunt, settling back down into his seat and curling his long, sinewy fingers over the arms like a gargoyle perched watchfully on top of a spire.

At the Horseman's apparent withdrawal, your friend relaxes a little, slumping down into the cushions with a soft sigh. You however, have been around Death for far too long to be fooled by his nonchalant slouch and heavy-lidded gaze.

He may have sat back down, but the Horseman is far from appeased. You can still see little wisps of breath escape through your lips. Heaving a long-suffering sigh, you ease yourself back into your own seat on the sofa, keeping a wary eye on Death, not for your own sake, but for that of your friend. For all his scathing remarks and callous behaviour, Death has never taken threats against his family lightly, be they threats made in jest or not.

Fury:

Fury doesn't like this.

She really doesn't like this. So far, your friend has done nothing but monopolise your attention, and though it aggrieves her immensely to have to admit it, Fury misses those instances where it's just you and her.

What can she say? She's the jealous type. Envy had proven that tenfold during her time in Haven city.

She's stepped out into your garden, through the sliding glass doors, where she paces back and forth in the drizzling rain whilst you and your friend remain in the warm, dry kitchen, talking across the counter together about life before the Apocalypse.

'Catching up,' you'd called it.

The Horseman could only listen to your friend make you laugh for so long before she grew agitated by the fondness in your tone. She's never noticed it while you're speaking to her.

Having tuned out the conversation muffling along indoors, she almost misses the alarming words entirely.

“Ugh, Y/n, you're literally the worst,” followed swiftly by, “I'm gonna kill you!”

Context is never something Fury has been particularly concerned about. And in this instance, she couldn't care less for clarity.

Whether because she's already been aggravated by her own, foolish jealousy, or because she's become hard-wired to respond to threats made against you with all the ferocious power of a lioness protecting her cub, Fury finds she can't keep Havoc shackled, nor does she especially want to.

Without warning, an eruption of blackened flames rips across your garden, burning away the flowers you'd painstakingly planted along the wall of your home last month. Scorch marks lick dark shadows across the grass, and a thunderous boom shakes the house on its foundations as a veritable monster bursts through the supernatural flames in place of a Horseman.

Havoc – the terrifying beast that lurks deep within Fury's raging heart, biding its time until a threat arises that's too great for the Horseman to handle with weapons alone. White-hot fire rages through the cracks in her crimson armour, sending sparks flitting out to be doused by the falling rain.

She drops to a knee in front of the sliding door, where she can already hear her human calling out to her, asking if she's all right. The other human, the so-called friend, is too busy screaming about the beast that's just thrust it's colossal, clawed hand through the entrance to your home, grasping blindly for a moment before those armoured fingers make contact with something small and squishy.

The hand snaps shut like a trap, pulling a writhing human across the little kitchen and upskittling the furniture as it pulls its catch from the house.

Havoc's grasp relaxes almost urgently once she lays her burning eyes on her own human, thrusting your fists against the fingers she's wrapped you up in. “Fury!” you bark, suddenly and alarmingly frantic, “What the Hell!? What's happening? What's wrong!?”

Nothing. Nothing's wrong, she'd tell you, if Havoc possessed either a mouth or the ability to communicate at all in this form. Nothing's wrong now that you're safe in her hands, away from that other human who'd made such a foolish threat against you, obviously thinking they were safe from the Horseman's keen ears.

She'll deal with them later. For, now, Fury's immense brute of a form raises to her feet, tucking you into her chest to shelter you from the rain. She turns, ignoring her human's fists as they continue to beat fruitlessly at her unrelenting grip, demanding to know where she thinks she's going.

Havoc clears your garden fence with a single step, barely having to raise her leg. First, she'll be taking you somewhere safe – her own home, perhaps, in another realm far from Earth, far from the human who poses a risk to your safety. Then, she'll be paying said human a visit, perhaps even try asking them for some context to their claim that they'd 'kill you.'

And the Creator help them if they don't come up with something good...

[ginjasnappp]

Alien Romulus: my opinions/review!!

I'm so sorry to everyone who sees this and therefore is subjected to it but my thoughts must exist somewhere

Spoiler free review is overall I'd recommend it! I think it did a lot of things right by the franchise and is a solid addition - but nothing beats the original imo.

Also I've only seen the first 2 movies before this so call me a fake fan if u want but the og is all I need

Spoilers for the whole movie below the cut!

Also warning it's absurdly long

THINGS I LIKED:

▫️ I really enjoyed all the characters! I thought they were faithfully written as a bunch of rebellious, rambunctious young adults trying their best in a shitty world. I thought their dialogue was fun and realistic and their age made me hold more space for the fact that they made reckless choices lol. I also thought their acting was spectacular. I wish we got a little more time with them before they got killed off to make way for Raine.

▫️The scoring and cinematography were great. it veered in and out of familiar territory, but there were several moments where the music and camerawork really evoked the first film, and even when it didn't to me, it was still effective.

▫️PRACTICAL EFFECCCCTTSSS how I have missed them. There was a mix of practical effects and CGI but even most of the cgi was done really well except for one part (lookin at you, Ash deepfake). All the practical creatures and general ooze and viscera were great.

▫️ The human hybrid?? Creepy as FUCK. It easily couldve been goofy lookin but it was genuinely super unsettling and expertly done imo!

NEUTRAL OBSERVATIONS:

▫️ This movie rang closer to Aliens than Alien to me, which was a little bit disappointing but entirely down to personal preference. Part of my love for Alien comes from the claustrophobia and creeping sense of dread - 'where is it', 'there's nothing I can do but hide', etc, and while there was some of that, this and Aliens are more action-packed with loud conflict and guns. Still a lot of fun though!

▫️I found it interesting and a little unfaithful that the only characters to get facehugged/otherwise impregnated (at least onscreen) were female characters. A big part of why a male character was the facehugger victim in Alien is because Ridley Scott noticed that in horror, the female characters are usually the ones to be physically violated in such a way and wanted to flip that around and make male audiences uncomfortable by depicting a male 'birth scene' (from what I read years ago, anyway). Seeing as Scott worked on this movie as well, I'm interested in why this choice was made, if it was even a conscious choice.

▫️The 'artificial person' Andy is a whole can of worms for me. When he was first introduced, before he's revealed to be an AP, my (and my parent who I saw it with's) very first thought was 'oh god, he's the autistic character that's gonna get killed off'. He is an example of how stereotypical autistic traits and scifi android traits (not understanding social cues, taking things literally, being outwardly unemotional and practical) can overlap, and there's a very fine line between drawing interesting but not direct parallels and coding the character outright, often negatively or to characters' detriment. He's definitely a character I'd be interested in hearing other people's thoughts on!

THINGS I DISLIKED/DIDNT MAKE SENSE/THOUGHT WERE MEH

▫️We all know you can't breathe in the vaccuum of space - so why, after being warned of the danger of letting the xeno blood go through the floor, did it actually happen and then everything was fine? Sure, things were sucked out into space, but Raine was fine and could breathe, which is impossible - her head would have imploded seconds after she was exposed to the vacuum. Also she would have frozen to death.

▫️The deepfake face. Just why?? I think it could have been way cooler if his face was entirely practical and maybe worn beyond recognition, and then a namedrop or similar reveal could be really effective.

▫️Dare I say it - too many aliens. Like the difference between Alien and Aliens, I find one unfaceable threat in an enclosed space is more effective than a whole shootable swarm in a large space. I enjoyed the shots of facehuggers skittering everywhere tho.

▫️This is PURELY my own unreasonable hopes being dashed but I was hoping and praying for a Sigourney Weaver/Ripley cameo. I understand wanting to leave her to her era and not drag her into a new one (and also that apparently she died like 4 movies ago) but I MISS MY QUEEEEEN

▫️I wish we got a liiittle more worldbuilding - though I understand the sentiment of 'we know what you're here for so we'll get right to it' lol.

That's it! Wow ty for reading if you got this far

Hand over your opinions >:3

[mtreebeardiles]

WIP Wednesday

Was tagged by @illusivesoul — many thanks! Very excited to see where that seraghast is going btw 👀

Haven’t been writing as much but I’m hoping to move past my temporary hiatus soon. I do have a little bit of the next part of Stardew Effect written tho, so here ya go!

Not formatted because tumblr hates me lol

Tagging let’s see @tiny-banana-time @pastelroyce @dandenbo and I see LadyA did a WIP Wednesday but tagging you anyway lol @theoriginalladya 🧡 no pressure as always (gonna also tag @urdnotflexthejedibard though if you wanna share it with us in discord instead since it’s original 👀 still wanna see how that project is going 🥰)

"So, okay… run this by me again."

Kaidan was perched on Evvy's bed, cross-legged, elbows braced on his knees as he watched the other man resettle beside him. On the nightstand before them was Everett's laptop, lid open, screen aglow, the bird he'd rescued peering down at the keys as if in deep concentration.

"I'm like, ninety percent sure that bird is actually Liara."

"And she's cursed?"

"Like, super cursed."

"And you came to that conclusion because something… repelled you? When you tried to heal her?"

"Something like that." Everett mirrored Kaidan's position, and for all he looked even more exhausted than he'd seemed earlier that day, there was a quirk to his lips and a glint in his eyes that echoed the sort of good-humor Kaidan had come to associate with him.

"You seem amused by all this."

"I'm amused by you."

"Hey! Why!" His outrage was undercut by his own inability to suppress a smile. Despite the weird and frankly worrying circumstances, it did him good to see Evvy in better spirits. He reached over, prodding Everett in the ribs, doubling his efforts when the other man tried to squirm away. He captured him, pulling him against his chest and running his fingertips along the sensitive areas he'd mapped once before. "I went all the way to that tower for you! Climbed way too many stairs! Tried to understand Wizard!"

Everett was laughing, only half-heartedly trying to escape.

"I almost tried re-creating that hallucinogenic tree tea! And I come all the way here just to get sassed! Unbelievable."

"You weren't gonna try to make that tea, Kay."

"True, but saying I would've helps my case here."

Everett shifted, looking up at him, cheeks lightly flushed. "Fighting dirty there, Kaidan?"

"If it gets you to laugh like that," he replied with a shrug, smiling a little. "Worth it."

Everett's smile softened, and he leaned up to brush a kiss to Kaidan's cheek. Kaidan gave him a little squeeze in return, resting his chin against his shoulder. "So what's actually amusing?"

"Just how outraged you are at the idea of curses," Evvy admitted. "We know Liara can teleport, but this is where you draw the line?"

"This is a step beyond 'odd,' Evvy. This," he gestured towards the bird, watching as it lifted a delicate foot and attempted to smack a few keys with it, promptly falling over. "This I can't even take seriously."

The bird turned its head then, fixing him with what could only be considered a beady-eyed glare.

"I don't know how else she can communicate with us!" Everett leaned forward without actually leaving Kaidan's hold, reaching out to set the bird to rights. "Try your beak?"

[the-fiction-witch]

Seventeen P15-P20

Media The Maze Runner

Characters Newt

Couple Newt X Reader

Rating Sweet

Series Seventeen

I headed inside the classroom even if everyone was already busy with the reading 

"Mr Newton, Particular reason you're twenty minutes late to my class?" Janson snapped

"I locked my key in my locker again" I sighed 

"I have half a mind to give you a detention" 

"It's Thursday." I remind him

"Alright, I'll let you off" he sighed 

So I went and took my seat I guess that is the one perk of being the scholastic team captain I can't get detention on Thursdays and Mondays.

I felt the little box burning in my bag I wanted to know so desperately what she had given me, but Ratman is a cunt and if he saw me get it out in his class he'd confiscate it for sure and I'd be lucky to get it back at all. So I just kept my head down and imagined whatever could be in the little box... 

I was first to arrive at the maths room we always used for the scholastic team being first as always. I sat down grabbed the little box from my bag and opened it up, inside the little black box were a few little items, A little orange lollipop, a little chocolate bar, a little pressed flower and a little keyring much like her own but this one had black flowers and a cartoon style slushie cup with the same style of scroll with the words 'You carved open my heart'. 

Awwwww I'm gonna cry! 

Immediately I put the keyring on my bag so I could carry it everywhere with me and put the little box in my bag so I could keep everything safe till I got home, soon enough everyone headed in ready for practice 

"Right kids let's get going!" Jorge says as he arrives eager to start up everything 

I didn't really pay much attention as we did practice questions and such as usual, even if I didn't really try too hard as I knew I didn't need too

"And top again, Is Miyoko!" Jorge says giving her applause and everyone else sighed, God, damn Miyoko.

Miyoko Lee, she wasn't actually in my class but in our year group even if she's literally 12! She was homeschooled until nine and has skipped almost half the years she's been alive. I mean it was fair to skip her as she is honestly as close to a genius as I have ever known, she's just insanely smart and untouchable I couldn't even take the piss or be mean to the little squirt as she is minho Lee head of the track team's little sister. 

"I don't know how we're meant to compete with her" Nick complained 

"Well if you boys did you're practice more maybe you could compete with Miyoko. But you're all on the same team" Jorge explained "Ohh just a sec-" He says heading out to talk with a passing teacher

"You know you could save all you're showing off for the next actual competition?" Jeff said 

"가서 엿 먹어도 돼" was her response

"Uhh... Team captain? you gonna do something about this?" Nick asked

"Look I've already been beaten up by a member of the track team, I'm not doing it again"

"That's fair" 

"Alright kiddo's get off home before the track meet's over so you don't get boxed in," Jorge says as he got back to the room everyone very quickly began to scamper I got my stuff and wanted to get home too but as I headed out I noticed how busy the track field still was as the track meet would not be over for a good half hour. I knew I should start on the walk home but...

I headed over to the track field sneaking in through the tall fence, seeing the tall bleachers full of people mostly parents and those who supported the team, they were setting the tracks up for another heat, the lights on bright making it strange as the track looked as bright as a summer day but just beyond the fence was the autumn darkness, The track team stood warming up as well as the team from the other nearby school, The small group of flag girls by the track meaning my sister and Zoe both of them looking bored. But drawing all the attention were the cheerleaders doing a route as the track was prepped, all the usual stick jumping, kicks, arm waves, pompom's all kind of a blur honestly.

The whistle blew for the heat and everyone took their lanes so the cheerleaders moved off the track and that's when we caught eyes, Y/n at the back of course pompom's in hand much as I had seen her earlier in the day I smiled and gently waved to her and she happily waved back the pompom swishing as she did but the race started and was kicked to cheer with the other girls. 

I found myself a spot on the bleachers and watched everything going on even if I did have to put my headphones in as it just got way too much for me. I didn't really pay much attention to the track meet only clapping when everyone around me did and even then only when I really noticed but I made sure to watch the girls, doing all their little cheer routines even if y/n often got shoved up the back I still found it impossible not to watch her. 

I often had to force my thoughts away when they did kicks and lifts given it often exposed the small white shorts she wore under the cheer skirt. But eventually, the meet was over, I honestly have no clue who won but I jumped out of my skin when y/n sat beside me with her bag and her pom pom's I quickly took my headphones out and did my best to smile 

"Hi y/n"

"Hi newt," she smiled "I thought you weren't coming?"

"Ohh well Scholastic got finished early, so I came to see you"

"Awww that's so sweet, But you could have got out early"

"I know, but I wanted to see you" 

"You're too sweet sometimes" she smiled "Did you like you're present?"

"I did very much, but you didn't have to do that"

"I know, but I wanted to" 

"Thank you very much, I've already put it in my bag"

"I can see, it's like we match" she giggled 

"Yeah it is a little" I laughed 

"I need to get going my dad will be waiting, But I'll see you tomorrow newt"

"Yeah see you tomorrow, have a nice night"

"You too" she smiled grabbing her stuff and scampering away towards the car park waving as she went I smiled and waved until she left my view 

"Ummmmm" I sighed happily 

I walked home and saw my mum busy with her cross stitch in the living room, sitting on the sofa watching some Tv, and my dad sat in his chair with some paperwork. 

"Hey kiddo, how was school?" he asks

"It went good" I smiled trying not to smile too much 

"Did you do it?" 

"do what?" She asks 

"Did you?" He asked again

"I did" I smiled 

"Good job, I'm a man of my word Pizza for dinner"

"Yes!" I smiled "I'll be in my room"

"Alright we'll call you down for dinner" 

I headed up to my room throwing my bag on my the side close to my desk but I had a heart attack "ahhhh!" I jumped as I saw Thomas sitting on my bed one of my snowglobes in his hand

"Hi," He waved 

"What are you doing in my house!" I yelled snatching my snowglobe from him and setting it back on the shelf 

"Your parents said I could wait up here" he shrugs getting up and fiddling with stuff around my desk

"Why are you in my house?" I complained stopping his hands from touching things 

"I came to visit, you weren't here," he says flicking through my notebook 

"Fine, what do you want?" I snapped taking my book and putting it back

"What's your problem?"

"I... like things very specific, I don't even let my sister in here," I told him "But it's fine, what do you want Tommy?" I sighed sitting on my bed and he sat on my chair

"Well I came over with some news, I figured you'd want to hear it as soon as possible"

"Oh? what?"

"I don't know maybe I shouldn't tell you, you've kinda been a dick"

"You're in my room, without consent. I think being a dick is fair"

"Fine, I'll go-"

"No. sorry Tommy, what did you need to tell me?" 

"That's better, given the news I'm about to give you I imagine you're gonna really wanna thank me" he smirked

"Am I?" I rolled my eyes "What is it then?"

"Well, I had a word with the head of the drama club this afternoon"

"Right? about?"

"About the Winter Musical" 

"Oh? how do you know? it won't be announced for like a good two weeks?"

"She wanted to tell me,"

"Why?"

"Honestly she wants me to try a drum up... more boys for drama club"

"That's fair I mean it is you and Aris that's it so makes sense"

"So I know the musical"

"All alright don't keep me in suspense, Are we doing Le mis again?"

"Nope."

"What is it then?"

"Heathers."

"Wh-WHAT!"

"We are doing Heathers the musical."

"How the hell are we gonna do that!"

"What do you mean?"

"Uhhhhh... Multiple deaths, mentions of suicide, of rape, many, many swear words and... the whole of a dead girl walking?"

"Apparently there's a high school cut"

"Ohh yeah that makes sense" I nodded "That's cool but why couldn't that be a text?"

"Because I told Teresa."

"Okay..."

"and she told y/n"

"What!"

"She told y/n. and apparently, she is going to be auditioning"

"Y/n is auditioning for Heathers! awww she'd make such a good Veronica"

"And the head of drama has asked me specifically to help bring more guys into drama club for this production under hint that I could have any role I want so I'm sure for a price I could make sure someone else gets a role they want"

"Are- are you suggesting"

"I have it on good conscious given head of drama asked me and because Teresa is head cheerleader and has basically already picked that she's gonna be Heather Chandler, we could help make sure"

"Yes?"

"That Y/n gets put as Veronica,"

"Yes!"

"And you as her JD"

"YES!" I yelled giving him a huge hug "Wait-"

"What?"

"uhhh I can't sing"

"Newt. this is high school theatre none of us can sing"

"But you really think you could?"

" you're first, really it's between you and Aris."

"Yeah that's what I'm worried about... aris is good, like really good"

"True, but I will do what I can to help butter her up, I kinda already knew you would, so auditions tomorrow at lunch"

"Tomorrow! I can't prepare an audition in... 19 hours. and also sleep"

"Newt, you're not telling me you know every lyric to those songs"

"....good point"

 "and I and Teresa will help butter the head of drama we promise"

"Wait... so, does Teresa-"

"Yes. she's my girlfriend of course I told her you have a thing for y/n"

"WHY!"

"She promised she wouldn't tell her, she's my girlfriend Newt I tell her everything"

"and yet I still got beat up for talking to her?"

"she has to keep up like she doesn't know, and I told her after"

"Well, thanks for telling me I'm just kinda worried how we're gonna pull this off I mean I can barely talk to y/n without stuttering and blushing like a mess you think I can handle a whole musical next to her? Have you ever seen a live version of dead girl walking, Veronica sits on JD's lap and rips her shirt off! y/n does that to me I'm gonna explode! Literally" 

"You'll be fine, you'll have months of prep to get to know each other better by the time you actually need to perform you two will be dating," He says "Now... I'm not hearing a thank you for telling you, getting you an audition and potentially getting you the girl of you're dreams"

"Thank you, Tommy"

"You're welcome"

"Pizza's here!" My dad yells from downstairs

"Coming!" I yelled back 

"You guys have got pizza?"

"My dad bet me A pizza if I talked to y/n today"

"Aww, I love your parents"

"They are great" 

"May I stay for a pizza slice?"

"You may Tommy," 

Admittedly I was so very sleepy I had been up all night, I must have listened to the soundtrack about six times to make sure I knew all the words. But I was getting more and more nervous the longer the day went on, I knew the lunch audition was coming and now I was shitting myself. 

"You ready?" Thomas smirked as he was basically pushing me down the hall 

"No, I'm not ready," 

"Liar, let's go, lover boy," he says kicking me into the drama room 

"Ohh that's more people than I thought" I gulped 

The large room with mirrors across one side and the smaller version of the stage in the main hall, and there were more people than I had hoped. 

"You said privately"

"I never officially said private"

"it was implied! I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die" I muttered hiding in my hoodie

"Let's get you a seat" he smirked pushing me to a chair beside him as he sat next to Teresa giving her a kiss "Hi babe"

"Awww hi" she giggled 

But that meant I'm sure intentionally I was next to y/n

"Ohh Hi newt"

"Ohh uhhh Hi y/n"

"I figured I might see you here, isn't it great we're doing heathers!"

"It is, it's amazing. you're gonna audition then?"

"I'm gonna try" she giggled "and you?"

"Ohh uhh well I uhh I thought maybe I'd wat-" I began but Thomas elbowed me "Yep yeah I am"

"Ooohh no no don't tell me I wanna be surprised" she giggled  

"Okay kids, Lets get this show rolling" Mrs Mary spoke up taking the stage

"Okay, kids. First I am going to let you into a little secret. Our department is low on funding. We are likely the lowest priority in the whole school, as I'm sure we all know high priority goes to the track team" She began

"Wooooo!" The track team yelled excitedly 

"Yes, yes" she sighed "Even the art club gets funding before us. So this is a shoestring of a budget. and the way we make our budget to keep the club alive is, Ticket sales." she explained "Which we have been severely lacking. I have produced the best musical ever written several times but that doesn't seem to be enough. So Fine! I'll sell out we're doing Heathers the musical"

"Yay!" Many cheered

"Yeah yeah, you little vipers. But I'm doing this not for art even if I will do my best to make it it's best. We are doing this for money. So I want advertising, recommendations, I want your families flying in from out of state to see you in this because by god if tickets are not sold out we don't go on, do you understand me!"

"Yes Mrs mary"

"Good. Now I have also asked my drama club to gather some cast members outside of our art and drama bubble, mostly because this musical has a cast of seventeen hundred, and because maybe that will bring in some new parents, siblings and really just dealing with the same ten of you is giving me a migraine. Now because of this, I am going to make sure anyone who auditions is cast somewhere be that onstage or off, but I will be putting focus on our new people. You drama rats have had your turns, Now, as I'm sure any of you who have goggled the script or ever seen this show will know full well this is not an easy musical, there are vocal moments, costume changes, impressive set and staging. this is gonna make the summer production of Grease look like a kindergarten Alice in Wonderland." She explained "So, I warn you now for any who don't know the musical well. There are no easy roles in Heathers. And to every girl hoping to be Veronica, I must remind you Veronica is in almost every song number, every scene, and is most of the script. if you are not prepared for that level of work, I suggest you go. The same goes for whomever if hoping to be our Jason dean. It's hard work, a hard role, even for a theatre brat."

[memes-saved-me]

Billy and Steve try to have sex after Starcourt but Billy soon finds out that the scars he has from the Mindflayer aren't just physical.

This is about the allegory/imagery and themes of Billy being attacked by the MF and sexual assault. It is about the MF but can be read as sexual assault. It is Billy talking about it. No graphic descriptions of the attack.

He'd done it more times than he could count, revelled in the pleasure he could draw from Steve with nothing but his lips and tongue. The moans he could create, the soft hands on his cheeks or gentle fingers through his hair. Billy loved his boyfriend's dick and so just as they arrived back at Steve's house after a doctor's appointment, the first one to say Billy was almost at his target level of recovery, they did what they had done a million times and rushed up to the bedroom.

It had been so long since they had actually done anything physical beyond a few hand jobs and so the anticipation got well ahead of the two of them and soon enough they were crawling onto the bed in nothing but their socks. Billy pushed Steve down to kiss his neck and run his hands down his cold skin from the weather outside.

"I better get you warmed up," he said kissing Steve before moving to slide down his body and get a hold of him.

Steve smiled and pulled a cushion behind his head to get a better view just as Billy started to spit on the head of his cock, slowly teasing him just like he always did. Making the most of the way he bit his lip and begged him to please just do something but as soon as he wrapped his lips around it, pushed his head down and felt the way it filled his mouth he felt his entire body scream for him to run.

Suddenly, Billy pulled away and backed off until he fell off the bed and continued to move until his back hit the wall and he could feel his airways tightening. A faint calling of his name came from somewhere but his mind was too occupied reliving that night in June that he couldn't understand what was actually happening. The darkness, the sounds, the pain and the...the thing that did that to him all became far too real all of a sudden for him to handle so he went to bolt. Run just as he had that night but before he could Steve grabbed him and blocked his exit.

"Billy, what's happening?" he said touching him everywhere which made it worse so without even knowing Billy pushed him away and backed up again. "Billy, please talk to me."

Barely able to breathe he looked at the confused naked boy before him and realised he wasn't in that basement on the edge of town anymore but instead in his boyfriend's bedroom in the middle of winter. Still, he felt frozen. As if his body couldn't decide between freeze or flight and that's when the tears started. Uncontrollable sobs erupted from the scared teenager as Steve stood there with not a clue as to what to do until he moved just as Billy went to collapse onto the floor, making sure he sat on the bed instead. The touching now grounded him instead of setting his skin on fire with fear.

"Sorry," he cried.

"No," Steve pulled him into his chest and held him there. "Don't be sorry."

"It was that thing...when it...when it took me it," Billy paused to breathe, his hands moving to grip Steve's back for some sort of support. "It did something and I didn't remember until it felt the same as your dick."

"Holy shit, Billy. I'm so sorry. Oh my god, I'm sorry."

"It felt so wrong, Steve. Like it was forcing down into me like a parasite but it hurt so bad. Like my guts were gonna get ripped out of my throat and I couldn't stop it," Billy continued to cry into his chest, tears seeping into their skin as he clung to his boyfriend like he was going to be ripped away again. "I have dreams about that place sometimes but it felt so real just there. I could feel the cold ground on my back as I was pinned down and it did it."

"Billy," Steve breathed and that was when he realised the other boy was crying. "I'm so sorry."

Billy pulled away and kiss him softly. Part of him was scared it would cause another freak out as he would come to call them but no it felt like the most natural thing on Earth. Nothing scary about it at all and so he did it again before pulling Steve onto the bed to lie beside him. Steve's hands moved to brush the hair out of his face, smoother over his cheeks and pull the comforter over the two of them to keep out the cold that was beginning to set in.

"I'm sorry," he said once more as they lay entwined facing one another under the covers.

"It wasn't your fault. We can try some stuff and see what works and what freaks me out. Can we?"

"Of course, but I don't want you to do anything that will make you do that again because that scared me, Billy. More than any monster ever has so please promise me that you will only do stuff you want to. You fully want to," Steve rested his hand on his neck.

"I promise and if any more memories come back I'll tell you. I promise."

"Thank you," he leaned forward to kiss him and Billy met him halfway.

"Can we talk more tomorrow?" Billy could feel the pressure in his stomach as he thought about actually talking about what happened.

Not just about the monster but what he was doing when he got caught. Who he was going to see because that was a whole other thing he had never thought about until his life flashed before his eyes as his body was impaled and the world went black. He knew Steve wouldn't be angry, they were messing around not dating but admitting what happened and what he was about to do felt so much worse than he ever thought it would. It was almost too much to even think of but then Steve smiled softly and replied, "I'd like that. I want to make sure you feel safe so anything you want me to know I want to know."

Almost overwhelmed Billy buried himself into Steve, curling right into his warmth and letting him wrap himself around him so that he did indeed feel safe. Nowhere felt as safe as being in his arms, held tightly in a bed that smelt like home. So far away from that cold damp basement that held the shadows of creatures, Billy would learn to live with but never forget.

[basuralindo]

I'll be predictable and ask you to ramble about Jamil for the character ask. ;)

lmao I appreciate you

Oooookay, so, head's up: I'm obsessed with Jamil for relatability reasons and imma try really hard not to overshare too much on the tragic backstory but it's gonna happen a little anyway and also I'm on the (hopefully) tail end of a manic episode so I'm ...chatty, to put it lightly. Sorry. There's a tldr

What I love about them: Short answer: representation! ...Long answer: SO many layers of representation! Surface level, I'm mixed, but my looks heavily pull the middle eastern, aaand growing up during the bush era, I didn't get to see a lot of characters that looked like me unless they were being murdered, and even if they lived they didn't get enough of a personality to be relatable, so Jamil is refreshing (also same color aesthetic +eye makeup and hair charms while still getting to be a guy. I've never gotten that combo in a character before!). Beyond that, an honestly disconcerting level of childhood trauma themes in common, leading to an alarmingly similar and very specific set of issues and, uhh, "personality quirks". And while I didn't have any real constant threat of assassination to build that kind of paranoia around, I'm bipolar and always had paranoid delusions, which were fed by my mom's unchecked paranoid delusions that there was always potential murderers lurking everywhere. And yeah I get to see characters somewhat like that now and then, but this is the first time I've seen one who then has to go to school in the 21st century and try to act normal and not draw attention to himself or say anything that might reflect badly on his abusers. So that wasn't what I expected out of a goofy sounding gacha game that I downloaded as a joke, but I'm glad I found it. Also just, getting to see a character that looks like me and acts like me (pre 10 years of therapy and growing the fuck up) and has almost exactly all the flaws I've learned to be ashamed of and hate about myself be humanized like that, not destined to die tragically, and loved and accepted by fandom, has been genuinely healing. So tldr, I can project on him endlessly, but still get to step back and enjoy him as a character, especially all the room for complexity his situation offers in fics.

What I hate about them: Wellllll, also relatability. As cathartic as he is, sometimes it's like watching an ugly mirror of my teenaged angst, and his bullshit makes me cringe at myself.

Favorite Moment/Quote: It's really hard to choose, but I really like his vignette appearances involving Floyd. Floyd has a way of goading him into engaging with his passions in a more honest way (like getting him to demonstrate breakdancing, or in the robes vignette when Floyd started a dance party at his dorm and he just gave up and joined in for fun). It's the closest he gets to having fun with his classmates and I love that. Another favorite moment would be in the halloween event where he just starts maniacally terrorizing the ghosts and stealing their shit. Peak bastard moment, and I appreciate the "I'm not trapped in here with you, you're trapped in here with me" attitude.

What I would like to see more focus on: I wanna see him form more real friendships with people. Just gimme some growth where he starts letting more people in and chooses to spend time with people because he personally enjoys their company, not just cause they get dumped on him. Like his thing with Azul in canon cracks me up, but imagine if he actually accepted any of the help or kindness. I just, often think about the fact that after every overblot, the character wakes up to people caring and accepting them and offering some level of support/community, and they can accept more love than they thought they'd find. But after Jamil's, the people there trying to support him are the ones he sees as enemies, and he just pushes them away and ends up even more alone than he started. I wanna see him grow less isolated.

What I would like to see less focus on: I guess less of the way Everything centers around Kalim? Like obviously it's a huge part of his character and I wouldn't want it gone completely, it's his main conflict specifically because it takes up every waking moment of his life, but again I wanna see growth. It'd be cool of that became gradually less of a factor and his scenes started focusing more on moments of autonomy I guess?

Favorite pairing with: I'm sure everyone following me already knows it's the whole octatrio lol. I like them either as a polycule or individual relationships though, I think there's a lot to explore in all of their one-on-one dynamics with him, and I wish there was more fan content of Jamil with either or both of the tweels. If I had to put them in order of obsession though it'd probably be Jamil/Azul very narrowly before Jamil/Floyd, and then Jamil/Jade last only because Floyd and Azul are better foils for his personality and hangups, while he and Jade alone would be more likely to enable the worst in each other. That said, I still think the four together balance each other out the best

Favorite friendship: Ehhhh it's a tossup between Ruggie, Idia, and Cater for me? I mean all three have very minor building blocks set up but tbh I just like the characters and wanna see them hang out together. I feel like Ruggie would be able to really see him as Just A Guy separate of his situation and employers, like he's got enough of his own problems to not be shocked by Jamil's, and neither have moral issues with the other's behaviors, so they could be candid with each other without feeling othered or pitied or judged, and I'd love to see more of that. Cater seems like the type to notice that he's not okay and try to pull him into normal life activities, like give him a break from his work to just be a person, even if he doesn't quite Get It (also Fake Bitch solidarity). And Jamil and Idia are just So Fucking Weird??? I would kill to watch them hang out

NOTP: I'm conflicted... There's a lot of ships I have no interest in, the only one I really have Feelings about is Kalim. On one hand, there's interesting drama potential. On the other, that just pulls them both so much deeper into the problems they're both tryna change. Jamil's never been able to have choices or desires or say no to Kalim in any aspect of their lives, how would they be able to not have that carry over into any attempt at a romance? I think that could make for an interesting story if anyone was willing to tackle it in depth, but it bothers me otherwise.

Favorite headcanon: Uhhhhh shit I have so many. A tiny one that makes me laugh a lot is him being just, the most ungraceful sleeper imaginable. Like facedown, sideways, hair everywhere, drooling on the pillow, buried under three more pillows. A Mess. Like not naturally a morning person at all, but forced to be anyway, so he catches up by passing tf out at any given opportunity (like visiting his bfs and falling asleep while cuddling). I also like the idea of his family being descended from Jafar, post becoming a genie, and the Vipers are part djinn. (I'm choosing to support this theory with the fact that he's the only one who physically changed form during overblot. Azul notwithstanding because he just reverted to his natural state). I know this isn't remotely canon, but I think it's neat.

[lavenoon]

Decided to take a break from drawing your and Zelda's deaths and started thinking about Accidently Undercover and how it would be fun to try and draw my sona and Eclipse design working as transfers for the agency. However, when i got to thinking about their code names I was dying of laughter at my Eclipse.

My Eclipse design is so bright that his name would be Agent Neon. Problem: There already is an agent Neon; lab tech if I'm remembering correctly. The confusion and chaos of just two agents/techs with the same name that would bring.

This made me wonder: since there are different buildings/locations, is it possible to have agents with similar/same code names? After all, if they're all spread out what are the chances of running into someone with the same name?

Even if there was going to be a transfer, someone would have to check to make sure there is no overlapping names, right?

Yes and No

They would probably check to see what active agents are out in the field if it's a field agent and vice versa for the lab if it's a lab tech; not both sectors though.

Queue Field Agent Neon transferring and running into Lab Tech Neon and Horizon.

This probably would never actually happen, but it gave me a good laugh to think about.

Kinda want to draw my Eclipse meeting your Eclipse and introducing themselves as Agent Neon now. The confusion between Horizon and Neon meeting this guy would be so stupid but it fills me with so much joy.

Welp, guess i have something to do when I'm done drawing these drawings.

: )

- Agent Viper

Ohhh I am living for the concept of having a different Eclipse interact with AU Eclipse!!

Gonna clarify real quick, since the agents choose their code names, there can be some overlap! It's still just names, and they have employee files and codes that go beyond just one name so it's not the only way to recognize them within the agency. The agency, shady as it is, does at least not adhere to internet forum username rules fhdjds New agents will be informed if there already is someone with their chosen codename at that location, but they are fully within their rights to shrug and go "What of it?", just as the senior agent may be a little grumpy that their previously unique name is now a little less unique. That's all fair, no one has to get along, but everyone has to realize that there's bound to be some overlap, just like in civilian life! (It's of course connected with some "social"/ within agency stigma if you hear someone in your department has the same name already and you still stick to it, willfully causing confusion if you two interact a lot, so there is some push to think of something new. Not agency mandated though!)

So Eclipse and your Sona meeting Eclipse and Neon? Totally an option! And I love the idea of like. Eclipse meets Eclipse, introduces himself as Neon, and Horizon!Eclipse has to buffer like "Celestial eclipse animatronic. Neon. Wait. I'm celestial eclipse animatronic? My angel is Neon?" And he's just standing there, elevator music playing in his head as far as the world can judge, before he processes the actual situation FHDGSH