#dumb boyfriends

[manwrre]

steve: you’re the most jealous man i know.

billy: you know other men?

[hardcasescyarika]

Clint: "sneaking into the kitchen at night"

Bucky: who's there?

Clint, panicking: Bucky

Bucky: oh, ok "leaves"

Bucky:

Bucky: wait, I'm Bucky

[bbbbbbbbatman]

After Superman reveals his identity to the JL but before Batman reveals his, Clark and Bruce being in a public relationship and everyone in the JL asking Clark what exactly he sees in an idiotic spoiled rich playboy and Clark trying so desperately and earnestly to defend Bruce saying he’s not as dumb as he seems and he’s really compassionate and caring and it’s mostly a persona, and Bruce as Batman, serious on the outside shit eating grin on the inside, having the time of his life trashing Bruce Wayne every time he gets brought up and Superman throwing murderous glares bc ‘what are doing I’m trying to defend you why are you like this’

[ofmd-ann]

[duhsty1]

hey, whos robto is that

fnaf help wanted 2 real

[thefaeriecreek]

Link would be the type of chess player that has a hard time concentrating on the strategy of the whole board and can only concentrate on a piece at a time. He loses most games, but his strategy is nonexistent, making him extremely unpredictable. Revali is a master strategist, (which we can see in his dialogue in Age of Calamity), so Link's blockheaded, rock-eating playing style is infuriating.

[technically-human]

After the Lonely

[buggymikey]

dumb stupid dumb jam comic 😭😭

[unfinishedslurs]

RIP Mike Wheeler’s heterosexuality

“Is being gay contagious?”

Steve stares at his phone groggily before putting it back against his ear. “…Mike?”

“Is it?”

“It’s three in the fuckin’ morning is what it is.” He rubs his nose, Mike’s words finally catching up to his brain. “Seriously, Mike? No it’s not fucking contagious, you’re not gonna get the gay disease or whatever from me. I promise you’ll keep liking girls.”

He’s a little hurt, even though he knows the question is innocent. They’ve been asking a lot of questions, like the inquisitive little assholes they are, but none of them had seemed like they weren’t okay with it. Until now.

“…that’s not what I meant,” Mike says. Steve realizes that his voice sounds shaky, even over the phone.

“Then what—“ he cuts himself off, realizing halfway through his bitching that there was only one reason Mike would call about this. “Oh.”

“Can you pick me up?”

“It’s three in the morning,” he repeats, even as he starts wondering where he left his keys. “Your mom…”

“Steve,” Mike pleads. “Please?”

He sighs. “I’m on my way.”

Mike is sitting on his doorstep when he pulls up, head in his hands. Steve doesn’t have to get out of the car, he stalks to the passenger door with all the vitriol of a boy with too many emotions to hold in, and wrenches the door open hard enough that Steve worries he’s going to break it.

“Watch it, noodle arms,” he says, trying to pretend this is normal. Maybe if he acts like it’s not well past midnight, Mike will relax.

It doesn’t work. Mike slumps in his seat, not bothering with the seatbelt. “Can you just drive?”

Steve drives. Doesn’t really know where they’re going, but it doesn’t matter. Just away seems to suffice.

He eventually pulls into a side road

“I’m scared to even touch another guy now! Because apparently hugging is gay when you’re older, and so is sleeping in the same bed, and telling your friends you love them, and…and I’m fucking scared all the time, ‘cause what if they’re right? How do they know? How can they tell by just fucking looking at me? It’s bullshit!”

“Shit, kid,” Steve says, heartbroken. “Shit. C’mere.”

He pulls him close, and Mike turns his face into the crook of his neck, shaking. His shirt collar starts to get damp.

“I don’t know what to do,” he cries. “I thought it was normal, I thought everyone was just…so scared all the time, and we just didn’t talk about it. But then you said that thing about being afraid and pushing it down, and I didn’t— I tried to ignore it. I tried so hard not to think about it, Steve, I swear I tried.”

“I know you did,” he says quietly. It hits him that he might be the only one who really gets it. Eddie gave up denying it long ago, deciding to evolve into something else for them to focus on. Robin’s a girl. Which doesn’t mean jack shit in most cases, because being a lesbian fucking sucks in a town like Hawkins, but girls aren’t as obsessive about it. Sometimes when they compare notes, Robin will just stare at him.

Mike shakes his head. “I don’t know what I did wrong,” he mumbles tearfully into his shoulder.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Steve says with a surprising amount of vehemence. He grabs Mike by his scrawny little shoulders, pulls him away so he can look directly into his bloodshot eyes. “Not a damn thing, do you hear me? There is nothing wrong with you, and anyone who tells you otherwise deserves a swift kick in the balls. Got it?”

Mike responds by bursting into loud, messy sobs.

Steve just keeps holding him, running a hand through his hair and soothing him gently, like he wishes someone had done for him or Robin or Eddie when they were young. Finally Mike pulls away, embarrassment starting to set in.

“Sorry,” he mutters.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Steve asks instead of a meaningless platitude he knows Mike wouldn’t accept.

Mike gives him a suspicious look. “I guess.”

“I’m scared too. All the time.”

“No you’re not,” Mike snorts. “You don’t need to make me feel better just because I’m a pussy.”

“I’m not joking,” he says. “Why do you think I dated girls? Why do you think I went through so many lengths to hide it? It’s fucking terrifying, man. But you know what makes it less scary?”

“Dating girls? Marrying a woman?”

“No.” He pokes Mike’s chest, right over his heart. “People. Friends who love and accept you. Friends who know what you’re going through, even.”

“Do you…” Mike chews his lip. “Do you think Nancy would be okay with it? With me?”

“Absolutely I do. She was okay with me, wasn’t she? And I was her boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but it’s different when it’s your family, right? Sometimes people don’t care if someone is… people don’t care until it affects them. Do you think Nancy is like that?”

He knows Nancy isn’t like that, but that's a talk they’re going to have to have themselves. “I really don’t,” he encourages. “I think she’d be really glad to know this part of you, actually. She loves you.”

“…I know,” he says, shifting uncomfortably. “I don’t… we made this dumb no secrets pact the first time the Upside-Down happened, I don’t know why. It’s stupid. But…I don’t want to keep secrets from her anymore.”

[zootzezy]

out with the old .

[soapbubbles511]

[streamsofstardust]

is the sun bothering you king????

[sweet-mary280]

Me: Ow, my back...

Me: hey hot alien, can you help me to make my back better?

Yautja: hm... Sure.

Yautja and me:

Me: thank you.... *die*

[ectoplasmer]

you guys ever grab your f/o’s face and just *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehea

[nart-is-a-monster]

Hugo is about to fake dementia

This was inspired by an incorrect quote lmao

Enjoy your food :3

💥

[l3viat8an]

*Texting in the HoL group chat*

MC: I will give you the best head of your life if you being me a cherrycoke slushy tonight 😘

Satan:…

Beel: Okay.

Asmo: No I’ll do it!!

Mammon: As if!!! I’ll get if for ya MC!

Belphie: Get what?

Belphie: Oh. I’ll get it.

Levi: As if you’ll actually get out of bed lmao

Lucifer: MC, what is the meaning of this?

MC: Oops…wrong chat!

MC: Just ignore that 😇

*MC texting Solomon (aka the right chat lol)*

MC: Can you get me a slushy on the way home?

Solomon: Cherrycoke?

MC: Yea! You’re the best Solomon 😘

Solomon: Asmo texted me first. I still want head 😉

MC: Damnit-