#early modern shitposting

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I love what a drama queen Ficino is sometimes. His sense of humour is also quite delightful

"shall we say that Saturn tests me, and me alone??"

"Honey. Babe. you're fine."

'"sssssh. I'm being ~~~dramatic, Giovanni. No one has suffered how I suffer."

"Nephew Sebastiano wrote you the same thing last week and you were like: calm down, Sebastiano, have patience. Shall I send the letter you wrote him back to you?"

"First, Giovanni, I came here for a good time and I'm feeling very attacked right now. Second, I did say I wrote that letter as much to myself as it was to him. So. There's some self awareness happening here, dear heart."

I feel like Marsilio was someone who you couldn't tell when he was joking or not and Giovanni was just the grounded rock to Ficino's flights of madness and they were just the world's weirdest couple

Lorenzo de' Medici: was that a joke? was that...was Marsilio in jest?

Poliziano: let me find Cavalcanti, our local Ficino-Interpreter.

Giovanni: It was a joke. I'm 92% sure it was a joke.

Lorenzo: I can NEVER tell. I have NO idea how my grandfather always seemed to know.

Giovanni: to be fair, they were besties and Cosimo's ghost hangs out in our backyard.

Lorenzo: which is VERY weird. You know that right?

Giovanni: you get used to it after a while. this is, of course, when my Marsilio isn't summoning daemons to help him heal people like the weirdo he is. I love him.

Lorenzo: adding him to the list of people I'm going to have to tell the Church to back off from and leave alone. Next to Pico Della Mirandola. Poliziano, you're not allowed to be heretical.

Poliziano: too busy being gay and poetic to commit heresy.

Lorenzo: I know. I have to tell the Church to cool its heels about that too.

Meanwhile, Clarice is like "can my husband Lorenzo not have one (1) friend who isn't a heretic, sodomite, flakey artist, mad poet, and/or weird freak? Just. One?"

Lorenzo: shan't.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

brb ending all my emails like this

[boleynecklace]

mojo dojo kenilworth casa house

[eemoo1o-animoo]

Thing is, I think we’ve all got it wrong about modern!Sebastian’s texting style. Instead of massive poetic paragraphs, I just think he’d one-word it. All of it. Ciel may be the exception, but for everyone else all they’ll be getting is one word responses.

[schistostegapennata]

I’ve been translating parts of this anatomy text that I’m researching, and one of the authors in the preface to this specific edition is so petty about the author of a previous edition, it’s wonderful.

Some examples: “Lancisi’s growing age and his many affairs did not allow him to give us a complete interpretation of Eustachi’s anatomical illustrations; nor could he sometimes avoid writing as if he were hallucinating.”

“Lancisi himself noticed these fallacies after he published his edition of Eustachi’s illustrations in 1714, leading him to decide to create another—more expensive and befitting, and purged of that most execrable filth he had written. But, alas, prevented by his own death, he left the foul, infected thing uncleansed.”

“Alas, the Geneva edition of 1717 published Eustachi’s images with Lancisi’s monstruous and truncated commentary.”

And this great concluding sentence:

“In conclusion, it will be enough for me to have adapted such an excellent treasure so that it can be used by lovers of anatomy, with the hope that any who study it will have a safer, more detailed, and more accurate explanation than that of Lancisi.”

[kinsey3furry300]

My DnD players, when I give them lore on my villains as DM: “Crazy how that Lich used to be a paladin of Pelor before they fell to the darkness while trying to kill the arch-lich. It would be wild to fight them if they still had their powers and kit...” Me: “Yeah, about that.”

[aworldofyou]

this is in anne’s phone and @paddyfuck​ can’t tell me otherwise.

[luckydxy]

Modern Ara be like .

[notebooknonbinary]

Oh was Stranger Things your first introduction to Boys Don’t Cry by The Cure?

*side eyes 15 year old YouTube video Naruto Party 3*

Yep! Stranger Things was absolutely my introduction to Boys Don’t Cry!

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Ficino: So, you know how Sound is the sense that is best able to connect a man closer to the divine? Since the spirit of hearing is able to connect wholly with the spirit of music, or voice, as they are made of the same swift moving essence and because they can connect wholly, they move closer to unity and stillness. Which is divinity and God.

Poliziano: Got it.

Pico: I'm with you so far.

Ficino: Great. So, if all of that stands, then when you're with your lover and his voice is the most beautiful on the planet. When you hear it, in all modes it can possibly take, that gets you closer to god.

Poliziano: even when having sex?

Ficino: . .... ,, I don't condone acting on physical desire because it lessons the spiritual connection with your lover by bringing it back down to earth. But, the logic does follow that yes hearing your lover during sex will bring you closer to the divine. And on that note--

Pico: that is NOT how any of this works.

Poliziano: shut up. let the man speak!!

[foofa]

Why is this early 2000s ad seem like a modern shitpost

[ftl-faster-than-life]

Eobard treating our era the same way that we treat the late 1500's and early 1600's amuses me way too much.

He would absolutely have some unexpected depth of knowledge about pop culture even before getting powers. He would know, for example, how to use the word 'meme' and 'shitpost' in a sentence correctly. He would use these words in the same way that you hear modern archeologists and anthropologists and historians talking about Shakespeare's vernacular.

[royalsunshinehotel]

social media preference (dev patel)

Anwar Kharral (Skins UK): Anwar is the only one on this list active on TikTok. He's not an uncomfortable teen anymore - he's being cringe on main and setting trends. I bet he's got 90K followers at least! He uses Threads and Instagram to back up his TikTok, not much else.

Sonny Kapoor (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 1&2): For the benefit of the hotel, Sonny is active on Reels to promote the corporate 'brand'. He likes the chance to be creative, and the 'Board' likes the chance to show off the handsome CEO.

Neal Sampat (Newsroom): Neal is an OG Tumblr user, who joined the site as early as 2008. As demonstrated on the show, Neal is adept at using Twitter to cross-reference and fact-check various sources, I do think he'd be a prolific shitposter on a side account, rivaling our king @dril.

Deon Wilson (Chappie 2015): Deon is self-explanatory. he likes to support the indie social media sites that sprung up in the wake of the Fall of Twitter. He's a fan of SpaceHey because he went to Computer Camp with the engineer who started it (it's based out of Germany), which he's always wanted to visit!

Sheru “Saroo” Bierley (Lion 2016): I find it harder to deny with each passing day that Saroo Brierly isn't an Instagram thot. Look at @brockohurn on IG and tell me that they don't have the same respectful bro energy. I think Saroo likes the chance to use all the photos in his camera roll, and I think the MILFs of Instagram are grateful for the content.

Jay Menha (The Wedding Guest, 2019): The closest Jay gets to social media is the Polaroids he likes to stick up on the wall of your shared room. Sometimes, if he's having a bad time, he likes to sit in his beanbag and look at the wall. He only gets a ghost Facebook account to keep up with relatives- nothing ever is posted, ever.

David Copperfield (The Personal History of David Copperfield, 2020): I think David would do numbers on Medium.com because he can write self-prompted think-pieces that no one ever asked about, AND get paid for them! He's writing analyses of "Jeyton vs Brucas vs Leyton: One Tree Hill", and he's actually making money. It would be magic to him!

Joshua Madika (Modern Love, 2019): Joshua's social media is all on Tinder. He's perfected his profile, and he likes talking to people. It's all genuine and zero malice. Who wants to be alone with their thoughts?

Sir Gawain (The Green Knight, 2021): I once read a post about Edward Cullen texting that read, "just saw a snail . . . effervescent," and I think that's as close as Gawain should get to the internet. It's just like shitposting, but it's all for you.

Dr. ZZ Chatterjee (The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar, 2023): ZZ keeps his drama on Facebook. He's definitely showing up in comments to defend someone's mutual friend from accusations of bias when she broke up with her tiny boyfriend because she was having neck problems*. With a doctor on her side, she didn't have to post X-rays of her neck! ZZ will be beefing!

The Kid (Monkey Man, 2024): "Ted, the movie hasn't even come out yet! How can you say The Kid is a Pinterest girlie?" It's all pretty pictures with an indefinite scroll. I also bet he's a big fan of putting things in categories (see also: skittles). We'll see who's right.

*true story circa 2018 on my Facebook page.

[versegm]

Trying to make an lb6 modern au for shitpost purposes but weirdly enough the one who is currently giving me the most trouble is. Guda. Like with Castoria or Oberon they have So Much Shit going on you're not going to get a 1:1 on their backstory anyways but you can easily hit a good 50%. Guda however has one very specific deal giving them mental issues born from 1) being under pressure for a very long time and 2) being under that pressure against their will. Like it can't just be "one very traumatizing thing happened to them," that wouldn't fuck them up in that way it would lead to a Shirou Emiya situation at best. But in modern days people don't usually end up repeatedly experiencing life-threatening situations unless they're like, a firefighter or something, and from what little we know of Guda early on I don't think that'd be a path they would go for on their own. Again this is not a Shirou Emiya situation Guda never had any grand dreams of saving people if they hadn't been hired by chaldea they would presumably go off and have a flower shop/tattoo artist 15k slowburn romance.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 14/09/2023

Green Panty Zone (Sequenced Ver​.​)

Season 5 Featured on: STUDIO TRIGGER QUALITY MUSIC WORKS

Ripped by SonicHeroesFan1

I've talked about it before, but man - its SO cool how I've been able to get attached to certain rips without knowing anything about what its aiming to convey. This isn't just about not getting the joke - there are a surprising number of rips made as tributes or inofficial follow-ups of sorts to other well-loved pieces from other communities. An example I've covered on this blog would be Big Sus Chocobo, an Among Us-themed YTPMV of Electric de Chocobo directly paying tribute to The First AVGN YTPMV of 2022, which released earlier that year (which in turn took direct inspiration from Big Ass Chocobo from 2017 - thank you, anonymous Ask for the correction!). Its heartwarming, in a way, to remember that SiIvaGunner is at its core part of a community, and that the channel is a community of creators in of itself.

The part in parenthesis in Green Panty Zone (Sequenced Ver.)'s name isn't just for flavor - it openly tells you from what source SonicHeroesFan1 chose to pay tribute to with this rip. Green Panty Zone is a 10-year old mashup between Champion from the anime series Panty & Stocking and various pieces of Sonic the Hedgehog music - made by none other than the infamous Triple-Q. You remember Triple-Q, right? - I've talked about him on the blog before in Planet Wisp Mashup Medley, and even outside of SiIvaGunner he's one of the most long-enduring personalities in the space of audio shitposting. Green Panty Zone, despite its age, is a pretty fun listen and displays the sheer creativity and work Triple-Q so consistently puts into his work, even as long ago as 2012.

With all that said, it *is* still a mashup - a rather simple joke in execution that works tremendously well. Green Panty Zone (Sequenced Ver.) pushes Triple-Q's original idea to the natural end point - what if the melody of Champion were to be directly implemented into the Sonic music used? The outcome is nothing short of beautiful, and it runs the full list of Sonic music featured in the original - Green Hill Zone, Angel Island Zone, Emerald Hill Zone, Palmtree Panic Present, Green Hill Zone's 8-bit rendition from the Game Gear, and even the oft-forgotten Sunset Hill from Sonic Advance 3. Each segment is given utmost care in their sound and authenticity, to where its almost hard to notice just how much the rip escalates and changes as it goes from Sonic game to Sonic game. Its easy to infer by his username, but SonicHeroesFan1 displays such infectious love for the Sonic series in all the Sonic rips he works on, its as if that love directly translates into quality and authenticity.

Each segment is done incredibly in its own right, and are topped off with a bunch of personal flourishes binding them together. The most striking one is the transition into Sunset Hill from Sonic Advance 3, using Sonic CD's time-travel sounds and a voice clip from Sonic's early-2000s voice actor to signify the change to a more "modern" Sonic game track, but that's only really scratching the surface! There's spring sounds, spike sounds, a snare sound almost exclusive to Sonic 2's soundtrack that opens the way for the Emerald Hill Zone segment - hell, the entire segment representing Sonic CD actually uses another SiIvaGunner rip as its baseline, yet it fits the mix so perfectly as to almost go unnoticed despite how noticably different it sounds. (Read Collision Chaos Good Future JP [CD Beta Mix] to learn more!)

This is one of those rips that I swear I could gush about endlessly, and the strangest part is that...I've never watched Panty & Stocking. I have no idea what emotional ties this'll have to someone who did - I'm speaking solely as a SiIvaGunner and a Sonic the Hedgehog fan, and that alone was enough to make this rip hit home. The amount of love poured into rips like these, despite being so directly tied to jokes for such a specific audience - tied to a mashup made 10 years ago by someone who, as a reminder, doesn't even associate much with the SiIvaGunner team anymore - is absolutely insane. Its a true testament to where SiIvaGunner's priorities lie: It's never about broad reach, about fame, about attention, but about quality and love for the fellow man.