#either way i think that’s a p good count for four days lol

[mariniacipher]

Hii! Could you guide me to A Dickens December?

yeah, no prob!

here’s the link to the substack- it’s a really fun time, it’ll be a few pages a day everyday until the 26 (i think)!

so catching up now should still be super easy, and i will say that dickens’ style is v compelling to read!

[justahopelessssromantic]

Father’s Day

So girl I know u already posted Daddy angel again, but since next month is Father’s Day, I was wondering if u can do another request of Daddy angel, where you and the him and the kids go hang out at felipes house with EZ of course to honor Father’s Day? But the twist is your going to tell angel that your pregnant again! @briannab1234

A/N: Thank you so much for the request and fueling me with Daddy Angel ideas 😍 I might be a little late but I’m going to pretend that I’m not lol so Happy Father’s Day everyone! I hope you all had a good day whether you celebrated or not ❤️. Here’s a little Daddy Angel for you all! Thank you for reading and like always I hope you enjoy! 🥰

*gif not mine*

Warnings: A little Angst and Fluff

On the edge of your king size bed you sat in Angel’s lap rapping your fingers anxiously across your thighs. Angel massaged your shoulders soothingly, running his rough hands down your smooth skin and resting them on top of your hands as he held on to them, ceasing your anxious tick. He nuzzled into the crook of your neck placing sweet kisses to your exposed flesh as he murmured to you. “This is the one, amor. I can feel it.”

You listened to his words trying to believe them in your heart as you repeated to yourself in your mind over and over again that this was the one. This would finally be the one and all the disappointments of the past year would be worth it.

This was the one and you would finally be pregnant again.

You closed your eyes taking a deep breath trying but failing to settle the fluttering nerves from within. “How much longer?” You whined. This was always the worst part, the waiting.

Angel glanced at his phone lying face up on the bed beside you, the digital timer counting down across the screen. “About four and a half more minutes.” He said as you groaned at his response. He wrapped his arms around you pulling you closer, bringing you some comfort. Neither one of you could have imagined it would be this difficult to conceive again with your two other children being conceived without even trying. They were your happy little accident miracles.

After the longest four minutes of silence in your life the tiny alarm on the phone beeped rapidly signaling the wait was finally over. Reaching over Angel canceled the alarm setting his phone back down as you remained seated. “Time’s up, babe.” He said looking over at you.

"I can't." You said looking back at him, eyes pleading.

Angel nodded, slipping you off his lap and onto the bed beside him. Standing up he gave you a smile. "This is the one." He repeated trying to keep positive thoughts. Leaving you there waiting he walked into the large master bathroom connected to your bedroom. Across the room sat the tiny stick on the marble countertop. He stood in the doorway a moment trying to get up the nerve to go look, his hands trembling.

The two of you were so excited when you first decided to try for another. It was a lazy day as you sat outside on your porch swing watching your daughter Penelope splash and play with her younger brother Mateo. She was so good after he was born taking on the role of big sister effortlessly. The two of you were incredibly proud of her. And little Mateo was the sweetest little boy, a Mama's boy through and through. He was always watching Angel though, wanting to be just like his daddy.

"We made some pretty fantastic kids, didn't we?" You said smiling as you snuggled in close resting your head against Angel's shoulder.

Angel pulled you closer as he watched his children. "We should have another." He said looking down at you.

You looked up at him getting lost in his eyes. Your heart rate sped up as the excitement set in at what he was saying. "We should." You agreed.

You began trying that night. It started off as fun and exciting. The sex was great and the two of you were so ecstatic at the prospect of expanding your family some more. But with every negative test, all the high hopes that just kept getting crushed, it became more of a chore than an act of love, a means to an end.

Gathering his courage Angel took a deep breath and trudged further into the bathroom stopping just before the counter. He wasn’t ready but his eyes betrayed him looking dead on the little screen. He lifted it off the counter, eyes filling with tears as his heart sank. The dreaded single line stared back at him. Another negative test and he didn’t know how to break it to you. He didn’t want to watch as your eyes lit up in anticipation as he entered your bedroom only for him to witness that light, the sparkle dull away to nothing like it did everytime he had to break your heart.

Running his hand over his eyes he wiped his tears away as he took a couple of deep breaths shaking his head in hopes of pushing back his own emotions. Turning back around he walked out of the bathroom stopping at the doorway. You had been fiddling with your hands in your lap as you waited. As soon as you heard him in the doorway you picked your head up the rush of adrenaline rushing through you in anticipation until you saw his face, that's when your own heart sank. You could tell he was trying to put on a brave face but you knew him so well you could see right through him. He didn't have to say anything, you knew.

Standing up you padded over to him wrapping your arms around his torso and laying your head against his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around you holding you close as you listened to his heartbeat. Angel leaned down kissing the top of your head. "Next time." He murmured although he didn't believe it in his heart. It felt like the two of you were just not destined to have another no matter how badly you wanted.

You brought your face back looking up at him. "That's what we said last time, and the time before, and the time before that." You whispered afraid of what your voice might sound like. "I'm so tired," you said defeatedly, "I don't think I can do this anymore, Angel."

He understood, he wasn't sure he himself could either. There was only so much heartbreak he could stand himself let alone having to witness yours. "That's okay," he said running the back of his fingertips down the side of your face. "Maybe we should take a step back, just stop trying for now. It's not worth all this pain and stress, mi dulce. As much as I'd love to have a thousand children with you,"

You giggled lightly at his words, "Now I think that's a little excessive," you teased earning a light chuckle from him as well.

"The two we have will do just fine. Our family is beautiful and special. I wouldn't ask to have it any other way. I love you, and I love them, you're all I need." Leaning down he titled your chin up bringing his lips to yours.

"I love us too," you murmured into his kiss.

Summer was here now and you were just finishing dressing Mateo after your children’s nightly bath.

"When's Daddy going to be home?" Penelope asked you. She was sitting in the middle of your large bed trying to rub the sleep from her eyes. The three of you could manage fine when Angel was out late or on runs but it didn't mean it wasn't hard.

Picking Mateo up you walked over to the bed and set him down beside his sister. "Dada?" He asked wondering the same thing as his sister.

You sighed, pulling them close for a hug. "Daddy will be home later tonight.” You said holding them close. “How about just for tonight we can watch a movie on Mommy and Daddy's big TV." You offered widening your eyes in excitement.

Your two children perked up at the idea, the offer being a good distraction.

"I'm going to go get ready for bed and pick up some. How about you two get the movie started and I will be right in." You handed P the remote kissing her forehead once and running your hand down the side of your son's face before heading back into the bathroom.

You washed your face quickly dabbing some moisturizer on your skin and then brushed your teeth. Slipping into one of Angel's shirts you threw your clothes into the hamper, picking up the discarded ones of your children from the floor and tossing them in as well. You then scooped the toys out of the bottom of the tub and setting them into the little basket you stored them in. You yawned after another exhausting day chasing after your children. It was summer finally so both kids were home full time and you were really starting to feel it. Angel was always good about helping out but the club had been busier recently so he had not been home as often. Still you didn't think you should be this tired, you used to be able to keep up with no problem but then again you were getting older. To top things off the heat had been terribly high already only adding to your discomfort, causing you to feel overheated and nauseous most days.

You stood up stretching your back out from being hunched over the tub. Turning around you opened the cupboard door under the sink setting the basket of toys inside and pulling out the one next to it full of hair supplies. Slipping it out there was a small thud and rush of movement from the corner of your eye catching your attention. You set the basket on the counter and bent back over to pick the thing up stopping just as your hand reached it. It was a box of pregnancy tests you had left over from when you and Angel were trying for another baby. Your heart clenched a little as you pulled the box out and looked at it. You stared at the box a while before tearing the cardboard box and taking one of the tests out of its packaging.

You don't know why you were doing it, maybe boredom or curiosity and the fact you had to pee anyways. Without overthinking too much about it or second guessing yourself you made your way to the toilet taking the test quickly before sticking the cap back on and setting it down while you washed your hands.

"Mamma you're gonna miss it!" You heard your daughter call out from the bedroom.

Drying off your hands you smiled to yourself grabbing the comb, detangler spray and hair ties from the basked. You made your way back to the room situating yourself behind your daughter as Mateo cuddled up close laying his head on your thigh. You began combing out Penelope's hair. "What are we watching this time?"

"Moana," Penelope said, wiggling a little in excitement before you stilled her gently and got to work on detangling her hair.

You mostly just listened to the movie as it played your children’s attentions intently on the screen. Humming along to the song you now knew by heart you tied off Penelope’s braid patting her back gently letting her know you were done. You gently removed Mateo’s head from your leg slipping out and off the bed from behind your two kids. Mateo snuggled into his sister instead now the two of them holding each other as they continued watching the movie. You would never get over little moments like this.

Bringing the comb and detangler to your bathroom you set them back in the basket, the test catching your attention again. You mentally scolded yourself for even taking the damn thing, picking it up and taking it to the trash bin. You tossed it into the bin, your eyes comprehending the results on the screen just as it landed in the bottom of the empty bin. Your heart stopped as you stared down your eyes filling instantly with tears. You brought your hand up to your mouth stifling the joyful sob that escaped your lips.

There on the screen were the two most beautiful lines you had ever seen, the lines you so desperately wanted all those times before.

You almost couldn’t contain your excitement. Your initial reaction was to call Angel right away and share the glorious news but then you decided to wait. You wanted the moment you told him to be special, and in person.

You bent down picking the test up and stared at it a little longer wiping the tears from your eyes. You tucked the test in the back of a drawer and exited your bathroom once more shutting the light off on your way out.

Mateo and Penelope were now tucked under the covers and you slipped into bed with them Mateo instantly snuggling into you. Penelope snuggled her brother and you wrapped your arm around the two of them silently watching the rest of the movie. As the credits rolled you couldn’t keep it in any longer. You looked over at your two wide awake children beside you.

“Mama has a surprise,” you said smiling. Penelope sat up anticipating your next words eagerly with Mateo copying his sister. “How would you guys feel about having a baby brother or sister?”

Penelope’s eyes lit up as she gasped with the biggest smile. She loved being a big sissy more than anything. Mateo again copied his sister even though he didn’t really fully understand what you were talking about. He could just feel the excitement joining in with the two of yours. “I want a baby sister more than anything!” Penelope squealed.

You giggled running your hand down the side of her face. “Well you might just get that but we won’t know for a little while longer.” You said placing your hand gently on your stomach. “We have to keep this a secret though. Can you do that for me?”

Penelope nodded rapidly. “Of course Mama! I’m great at secrets!” She boasted.

“Good.” You smiled over at her. “We’re gonna surprise Daddy tomorrow, okay?”

She nodded some more before jumping into your arms giving you a big hug. Mateo piled on top of her filing your heart with love from your children.

“Mama’s going to have a baby!” Penelope told Mateo trying to explain to her baby brother.

“Baby?” He asked, smiling.

“That’s right Baby,” you ran your hand across his hair. “Mama has a baby in her belly.” You tried to explain pointing to your stomach.

“Baby,” he repeated patting your belly. Then he pointed to his own repeating, “baby.” He giggled.

You and your daughter laughed at the cute response from your son. “No silly,” Penelope said, pulling him closer to her, “You don’t have a baby, Mama does!” She tried to explain but the little boy just kept pointing to his own belly repeating the word baby over and over.

“Alright,” you chuckled. “Now it’s getting late and way past your bedtime. It’s time to sleep, my little loves.”

“Can we watch Moana just once more? Please.” Penelope begged.

You gave in starting the movie over again knowing it wouldn’t be long until the two tuckered out and fell asleep beside you. You were right and soon Mateo was sleeping first, his head snuggled on your chest and his legs sprawled out to his sister with Penelope sleeping all sprawled out across Angel’s side of the bed. You didn’t make it halfway through yourself before you dozed off along with them.

It was past midnight when Angel got home. He was exhausted after a long day. The only thing he wanted was just to be able to be with his family. He kicked his boots off and hung his cut up by the door like he always did. The front hall light was left on for him like you always did and he made his way to the kitchen smiling as he saw the cookie left out for him with a little drawing from his children. He ate the cookie washing it down with some milk and then followed the faint sound and light of the tv down the hall and to the bedroom. He stopped in the doorway smiling as he looked on at his family snuggled up together and fast asleep with just the light of the tv illuminating their features.

You didn’t have trouble sleeping often but were a much lighter sleeper when Angel was not home. It was as if you could feel his comforting presence as you opened your eyes and looked over to where he was standing in the entrance to your bedroom.

“Hey,” he said softly smiling when he saw you looking at him.

“Hey,” you smiled, one hand resting lovingly on your stomach under the covers and the other wrapped around Mateo. “Happy Father’s Day.” You said softly as well.

Stepping over to your side of the bed he leaned down kissing you slowly. “Thank you, mi vida.”

You smiled getting lost in his eyes. You itched to tell him the good news but it wouldn’t be long until you did, so you willed yourself to be patient.

He leaned over you giving his son a kiss to the forehead. The little guy wiggled and smiled in his sleep as he snuggled closer. Then he walked over to his side of the bed and undressed, slipping on some shorts before crawling in beside Penelope. He lifted her arm and pushed her left over as he situated himself into the bed with his family. She snuggled against his chest and he wrapped his arm around her, settling it on her back. With his other arm he reached out running his hand through Mateo’s soft curls before finding yours hand and entwining his finger with yours.

You looked at one another, your children safe between you until you both drifted off into a deep sleep you could only get with the comfort of the other being near.

Morning came quickly and you were all rushing to get ready and head to Felipe’s for the day. You were helping Penelope get dressed as Angel was working on getting Mateo ready.

“Baby,” Mateo said grinning down at his belly as he pointed to it.

“No you’re a big boy now.” Angel said as he snapped his son's matching plaid shirt up. “Not a baby anymore little man. And soon you’re gonna be using the big boy potty too.” The two of you had been working on potty training the you f boy which was going slowly but Angel was certain he’d get the hang of it soon.

“Baby.” Mateo repeated and Angel just shook his head picking the boy up and into his arms.

“Alright little man, let’s go check on our girls.”

After many times back and forth from the house to the car with forgetting the gifts and then Penelope deciding she did in fact have to use the bathroom after you asked her twice resulting in you almost having a meltdown you were finally at Felipe’s to celebrate Father’s Day with your family.

You swore it was like herding cats. You could forget about ever being early to anything ever again since you had children but you could live with that.

“Happy Father’s Day.” You sang pulling Felipe in for a hug followed by your children.

“Happy Father’s Day!” Penelope shouted squeezing her abuelo tightly.

“Thank you Penelope." Felipe chuckled holding her tight before taking Mateo into his arms from Angel.

"Happy Father's Day, Pops." Angel said, giving him a quick hug with Felipe saying the same and set Mateo down to go play with his sister before he went to find a seat.

EZ entered the backyard bringing with him some beers for the occasion. Grinning he pulled his brother into a tight hug smacking his back a few times with his free hand. "Happy Father's Day old man." He said, still grinning. "Getting gray and everything," he teased his older brother.

"Blow me." Angel grinned, shoving his brother lightly.

“Wouldn’t you rather have your wife do that?” EZ smirked, pushing his brother's buttons some more.

“Ezekiel Reyes!” You scolded walking by and smacking him upside the back of the head playfully, “There are children here!”

Angel wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you close. “I mean he’s not wrong and it is Father’s Day,” Angel smirked down at you wiggling his eyebrows. “I’m sure no one will miss us if we’re gone for a few. EZ will watch the kids.”

“Yeah?” You smirked up at him and bit your bottom lip. He leaned down closer to you for a kiss and you took the opportunity to smack him across the back of the head too.

“Ow,” he whined, rubbing the back of his head, EZ laughing beside you.

“That’s what you get for saying such vulgar things at a family gathering.” You teased.

Angel licked his lips as he looked at you thinking of the many vulgar things the two of you had snuck away from gatherings of all sorts of natures to do. “Alright, I guess I can wait until we’re home and then you can give me your special surprise.”

You rolled your eyes, shoving him lightly. “Have a beer and cool down before you bust your pants or some shit. I’m gonna go get the gifts from the car.” Your stomach began filling with nerves again as you walked away from the two and back towards the house. You glanced back once blushing as you caught Angel watching you.

Angel and EZ made their way over to their Pops handing him a beer and sitting beside him, cracking them open. Mateo ran over practically jumping into Felipe’s lap.

“Hey little man?” EZ asked looking over at the small boy who was almost an exact copy of Angel. He was a chunky little thing just like Angel had been. “Where’s your sister?”

“Mama!” Mateo squealed excitedly.

“She’s with Mama getting the gifts?” Angel asked, looking at his boy.

He nodded happily wiggling in Felipe’s lap. “Mama,” he giggled snuggling in close to his abuelo and then started pointing to his belly again, “baby!”

EZ looked at Angel’s questioningly. “What’s that about?” He chuckled.

“Like I would know?” Angel replied shaking his head snickering as he took a swig of his beer, “I guess it’s his new thing.” He turned his attention back to Mateo who was looking back at him with those big brown eyes of his. “Maybe we’re pushing the potty training too hard.”

“He’ll get there,” Felipe spoke up drinking his own beer. “You have a beautiful family, Angel.” He said looking at his eldest. He knew he didn’t say it enough but he was proud of the man Angel had become and the life he had made for himself with his family. “I’m proud of you, son.”

Angel’s heart clenched at those words. He cleared his throat holding his beer up. “Thanks Pops.” The men heard the giggles of Penelope coming around the house and their attention turned to the two of you walking their way. “Couldn’t have done it without her.” He said as he made eye contact with you, his heart rate picking up everytime he saw you even after all these years.

Penelope ran ahead of you jumping into EZ’s lap nearly knocking him down, her giggles never ending. “How are you so energetic without even having cake yet?” EZ asked her.

“It’s a secret.” She sang wrapping her arms around his large arm.

“What?” EZ mocked hurt, “You never keep secrets from me P!”

“Hey, secrets aren’t allowed young lady.” Angel spoke up looking at his daughter who giggled more burying her face in EZ’s chest.

You finally caught up and handed the men their gifts. Taking a seat in front of them you smiled at Mateo as he crawled off Felipe’s lap and onto yours. Felipe opened his gift first smiling as he unfolded the apron that Angel helped the kids decorate. He smiled thanking you all for the wonderful gift.

Next it was Angel’s turn. He held the box in his hand getting ready to open it without a clue as to what wonderful news it held inside. Penelope sat up straight in her tio’s lap giggling harder now as she shook in excitement. Angel looked at you and then his daughter suspiciously. “I swear to God if something pops out at me,” Angel said.

“Don’t you trust me, baby?” You asked, smiling at him.

Angel looked at you melting under your gaze, “Of course I trust you, amor. It’s our mischievous little girl and her trouble causing tio I don’t trust.” He added, looking between his brother and daughter. His younger brother had recently been teaching her the art of pranking and where it was fun at first, recently Angel had become her sole victim.

“Don’t look at me,” EZ said, holding his free hand up in defense. “Whatever it is I had no part in.”

“Just open it Daddy!” She encouraged him. She was about ready to burst with all the excitement and couldn’t wait for him to find out.

“Alright,” Angel gave in. He untied the bow carefully glancing up at you once more looking so beautiful across from him holding Mateo on his lap. Returning his attention back to the box he smiled removing the ribbon completely and opening the lid. Setting the lid aside he took in the note written in your best handwriting.

'Guess who is finally outnumbered? We did it! Happy Father's Day!'

He read it once and then again processing the message in his mind. His heart beat faster as he looked up at you, the tears already threatening to spill from his eyes. You met his gaze, your own eyes filling and you smiled softly. “Is this for real?” He asked in disbelief. “You’re not fucking with me?”

“I would never,” you replied, voice breaking slightly.

Angel looked back down pulling the note out and finding the test beneath it. Those two little lines were the best thing he had ever seen. He handed the box over to his brother standing up quickly and making his way to you. Leaning over he cupped your face in his kissing you before resting his forehead against yours, your son between you. He blinked a few times, the tears falling to your face as he looked into your eyes. “I’ve never been happier.” He mumbled, “This is the best fucking Father’s Day ever.”

“Baby!” Mateo shouted between you and now Angel got it.

Angel scooped Mateo into his arms holding him tight. “That’s right little man. You’re gonna be a big brother.”

Penelope was ecstatic for the news to finally be shared and jumped out of EZ’s lap who was looking at the note and test with a grin on his face now. She ran to Angel wrapping her arms around his leg and he caressed her head.

You stood up joining your family. Wrapping your arm around Angel you leaned your head against his shoulder. “Happy Father’s Day Daddy.” You cooed.

Angel smiled at you and then his two beautiful children. It was going to be a ride being outnumbered but wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle with you by his side. “Best fucking Father’s Day ever.” He repeated. Angel was very thankful to be surrounded by family who loved him and who he loved more than anything.

Mayans Tag List: @briana-mishell24

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[asthmark]

❝ not alone ❞, l.ty

synopsis → “you know, every reset we’re supposed to forget everyone and everything but no matter what i can never seem to forget how happy you make me.”

word count → 2.5k

warnings → angsty!!! the plot may not make sense since it’s literally 1 in the morning oops

a/n → i hope this concept makes sense and it isn’t too confusing or messy!! if it is just shoot me an ask i would be more than happy to clarify :] anyway i actually like the outcome of this but i am too tired to go back and reread it all for any mistakes so i just hope google docs has my back lol gn everyone

7:00 A.M.

the alarm you set for every year at the exact hour goes off at its appointed time, much to your dismay. the mere sound of your phone beeping has a knot forming in your stomach. you wished it would stop, that everything would just stop but that was beyond unrealistic. in fact, you felt foolish for even letting yourself think like that. no matter how badly you wanted things to change, they never would. you would have to endure the same things every year.

you had struggled to fall asleep the night before, that exact thought on your mind and the dread of facing the following day eating away at you. you had only managed to get some rest because of taeyong, who held onto you tightly and caressed your hair as he whispered sweet words to ease you into much needed sleep.

but the day was here now and there was no amount of romantic words or tender touches that would change that. there was absolutely nothing either of you could do about it.

you lean over towards your nightstand to turn off the alarm and taeyong stirs when he feels you begin to shift around in his arms. you lay beside him, staring up at the ceiling as he slowly begins to wake up. he yawns and stretches his limbs out on the mattress which was routinely for him. this would usually be followed by him trying to give you a smooch only for you to squirm away, giggling as you complained about his morning breath.

it is not one of those mornings.

8:09 A.M.

you end up having cereal for breakfast, another big switch up from your routine. normally, you two would browse the internet in search of a recipe that looked promising and try your best to recreate it. you would end up with flour, sugar and dirty dishes all over the place but you never cared. then you would sit at the couch, happily enjoying the finished product and chatting with the tv playing softly in the background.

that morning you sit at the dinner table silently, the cereal in your bowls going soggy before either of you had made a dent in it. you had lost any appetite and from the looks of it so has taeyong.

“you should eat.”

you glance up at your boyfriend. he isn’t eating either, instead he focuses on dipping his spoon into his cereal, bringing it above the bowl only to let it fall back in again. you put your silverware down. “i don’t think i can.”

he hums softly, agreeing with you. “are you nervous?”

it went without saying that you were both terrified. but you know he’s just trying to make conversation. you just nod your head anyway.  

10:31 A.M.

you and taeyong move to sit on the couch, turning on the tv so you don’t have to bear anymore uncomfortable silences.

even the newscaster looks down in the dumps, as expected. her voice lacks emotion as she speaks about the forecast, knowing nobody would be taking genuine interest unless it was to get their mind off of the current situation.

what did she expect? the world was restarting, people weren’t going to care about the weather.

“now, for the ongoing events,” says another news anchor. “as we are all well aware of, today is the annual reset. businesses worldwide have closed, most people opting to spend the day with their friends and family and we advise any viewers to do the same. talk to your loved ones about the memories you’ve made in the past year and write down the things and people you do not want to forget.”

you turn to taeyong only to find his gaze is already focused on you. you don’t hesitate to grab the hand that rests in his lap and intertwined his fingers with yours. neither of you say a word as you go back to watching the television, taeyong giving your hand a reassuring squeeze every so often.

12:46 P.M.

by noon, you and taeyong had begun cleaning your apartment, making sure it was well organized so that the next day you could focus only on getting settled in to your, essentially, new lives. you do the standard dusting and vacuuming along with similar around-the-house chores. while going through the closet, taeyong finds a shoe box full of polaroids you two had taken throughout the years. there are dates and other additional notes scribbled in sharpie on every single picture so your post-reset selves could read about the details of each photo since you would not be able to remember it. he calls out your name, smiling brightly when he sees your face light up as you fondly look over your shared moments.

“i’m so glad we got that camera,” you say, shifting through a stack of the photographs.

he nods. “probably your best idea yet.”

you find a picture of him giving you a piggyback ride and coo. it’s quite blurry but you can clearly see the huge grins on your faces. “look at us.” you hand him the photo. “we look so happy.”

he makes a noise of agreement, staring lovingly at the image. “you know, every reset we’re supposed to forget everyone and everything but no matter what i can never seem to forget how happy you make me.”

“quit it.” you shove his shoulder, smiling sadly as you attempt to blink away the tears forming in your eyes. “i don’t want to cry right now, there’s still so much work to do.”

“it can wait.” he opens his arms and that’s all it takes for you to break. you crawl into his embrace, sobbing softly into his chest. it tugs at his heart strings. he tucks his chin above your head but you still notice how his shoulders shake and quiet hiccups escape his lips.

3:28 P.M.

once you and taeyong get tired of being confined to your apartment, you decide to go out for a breath of fresh air. you walk around aimlessly and your final destination turns out to be olympic park. as expected, it’s quite empty since as you had heard on the news, everyone was spending their last couple hours with those they loved in private.

you take in the beautiful scenery and if either you catch sight of a pretty rock or blooming flower, you will stop to pick it up and carefully place it in your pockets for safe keeping. you had found that they served as good reminders of all the time you spent together. in fact, there are many more of these mini souvenirs in your home, decorating your shelves.  

“hold up,” says taeyong suddenly.

when you look at him his eyes have zeroed in on something on the ground. he kneels down and picks up a smooth rock. you can’t help but notice the familiarity of it’s color.

“pretty, right?” he says, dropping the item in the palm of your hand. “it matches your eyes.”

you smile at him, finding his attention to detail incredibly endearing. you hold on to the rock, feeling its curves with your fingers until a cluster of chrysanthemums catches your attention and you have to free up your hands to pick one. you decide on a yellow one and present it to your boyfriend.

“here,” you say. “for you.”

“hey, aren’t i supposed to be the one giving you flowers?” taeyong asks but he takes it from you anyway.

“you’re supposed to give flowers to people you like,” you say. “and i like you.”

“you like me?” he asks, gasping softly. “how embarrassing.”

you go along with his joke. “don’t you like me too?”

he shakes his head and makes a face. “no way... i love you.”

you shove his shoulder. “so cheesy.”

he can’t argue with that so he just nods and chuckles as he tucks the chrysanthemum into his dark locks of hair. at seeing this, you raise the polaroid camera round your neck toward taeyong and he, already used to it, automatically poses for you. he puts his arms over his head, curving them into a kind of crooked heart. he gives an open mouthed smile only resuming to his normal position when he hears the click of the camera. you and him share a laugh once the polaroid picture develops completely.

“oh god, i look ridiculous,” he comments. “please get rid of that.”

you only give him a sarcastic, “yeah sure” and continue walking.

you two never got rid of pictures, no matter how ridiculous or unflattering they were. you agreed that every moment you shared counted and deserved to be remembered.  

although, they never would be.

5:45 P.M.

you chew on the cap of your pen, massaging your aching hand. you had been writing for almost an hour and you had your cramping fingers to prove it. despite the discomfort, you aren’t one to break tradition. the ‘things i love about you’ list was an ongoing thing you and taeyong had been doing for... ever. they definitely came in handy if either if you wanted to read about what the other was like in past years.

“everything good over there?” taeyong asks, from the other side of the couch.

you shake your head. “this is too hard. i have no idea how i’ve kept this up for four years.”

he puts a hand over his heart. “wow, i’m that hard to love, huh?”

“you know that’s not what i meant,” you say, glaring. “i just have so much stuff to say about you, so much stuff i want future me to know.”

he nods, solemnly. “i get it. i don’t want to leave out a thing but it’s kinda hard to fit a year’s worth of feelings and emotions into a couple pages.”

your let your head fall onto the couch. “why do you have to be so lovable?”

taeyong points an accusing finger at you. “i could ask you the same thing! you’re the most wonderful human being on the planet, if i try to write everything i love about you my hand will fall off!”

you sit up to stare at him. he looks genuinely offended by your ‘wonderfulness’. you pick up your pen and paper.

adorably dramatic, you write.

he scoots closer to you, exclaiming, “hey, what did you just put!”

you hug your notepad tightly to your chest. “no peeking!”

7:12 P.M.

your boyfriend hands you his letter with hopeful eyes. unlike the lists that had been made hours earlier, these writings had been in the works for quite some time. there are letters you and taeyong had written for each other dated all the way from 2016. that was also the year the first polaroids you owned were from so you both assumed it was when you had begun dating. if you ever want to have a good cry, all you have to do is find those letters.

in them, there are heartfelt words for the other person’s eyes only describing how they felt around them, why they were so special, among other sentiments. most importantly, though, you always included why you would never forget the other person. of course, one could say how ironic this was considering that forgetting was what the reset was all about but nevertheless, it was reassuring to read. it made your love seem unbreakable; something so strong it defied the impossible.  

you give taeyong your letter, feeling somewhat nervous. he doesn’t hesitate to open the envelope carefully. he slowly removes your letter from inside and you mirror his delicacy. the pair of you sit in absolute silence as you read the words off the pages.

my y/n,

what an amazing year it’s been with you. i know i say that in every letter i write but it’s really true. i never wrote things like this before you came along. only the basics—my name, who my parents were, my birthday, etc. you know, things like that. frankly, i had nothing else worth remembering. but now i do. you’re my whole world, the only thing i truly know and i am convinced i could not be any happier or luckier.

i don’t know what a life without you is like literally but i wouldn’t have it any other way. the situation the world faces with this whole reset mess isn’t ideal and i’ll oftentimes think of what a normal life would be like. even then, in this perfect universe, you’re still by my side.

i still wake up next to you.

i still spend every waking moment with you.

i still fall asleep with you in my arms.

you are still my everything. i am convinced you always will be.

many people avoid love or close relationships nowadays knowing that at the end of the year it’ll all be erased no matter what. how dumb is that? they don’t know what they’re missing out on. having a partner is nothing short of a blessing and you’ve taught me that by being with me every step of the way. sure, forgetting our past together doesn’t get any easier and neither does writing these letters but i’d write a million of them if that’s what it took to have you by my side.

i can only hope you’ll continue being there for me and give me something worth remembering in future years.

you are the light of my life and i can’t wait to fall in love with you again.

yours truly,

taeyong

the tears stroll down your cheeks and drip down on to the paper in your shaky hands. you use your sleeve to try and wipe them away to the best of your ability without smudging the ink. taeyong finishes reading your letter moments later, placing on the coffee table and only staring at you with a distant look in his eyes.

your voice comes out in a whisper. “are you okay?”

he nods, sniffling but his shiny eyes say otherwise. “can you maybe just... hold me?” his voice cracks along with your heart.

he ends up with his head in your lap, your fingers pulling and tugging at his soft hair. you have a couple hours left but you wouldn’t be opposed to leaving the year in this exact position.

11:59 P.M.

taeyong has made it clear he wants you to be the first thing he sees when you enter the new year. so, you spend your last minute getting into a position that will allow that.

you end up sitting sit cross-legged across from him. he’s in the same position and in the small distance between you, your fingers meet. the hold he has on your hands is so tight his knuckles have turned white. his eyes bore into yours and although he doesn’t say a word, his hazel orbs let you know it’s all going to be okay. you repeat those words to yourself.

it’s going to be okay.

it’s going to be okay.

it’s going to be okay.

“i love you,” you blurt.

he only has a couple seconds to respond.

“i love you, too. if you’re going to remember one thing, let it be that.”

[infinitestarsintheskye]

Writer Meme

I was tagged by the ever lovely @besidemethewholedamntime Thanks Rebecca! :)

What’s your all-time favourite ship? 

FitzSimmons, easily. I just love them so much and writing them is just easily one of my favourite things to do. 

How many works do you have on AO3? 

47, which bugs me because I really hate odd numbers. Need to actually write something and even it out lol.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 

369,771, most of which was written in the last 14-ish months. 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

1. When I Kissed the Teacher (Steggy)

2. The Lady and the Chauffeur (FitzSimmons)

3. I’ll Always Be With You (Steggy)

4. Four (FitzSimmons) 

5. Our Love Lasts So Long (FitzSimmons) 

Do you reply to comments, why or why not?

 I always reply to comments! I treasure comments truly so much and I just like to show my appreciation to whoever took the time to write something about my work! I am usually good at replying fairly quickly but also I am terrible at leaving them for ages and responding to about 10 all in one go, partly because I love the ego boost of having a full inbox lol

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 

Other People easily. But that wasn’t my fault, blame Sally Rooney. Plus I wrote a cute epilogue so it kind of cancels out. I cannot end with angst. I just cannot do it. I go with the Jane Austen motto that “My characters, after a little bit of trouble, will get everything they desire.” 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 

My The Lady and The Chauffeur verse by FAR. Absolutely not a flying chance in hell was I going to make that the same as the Downton Abbey canon. It’s been near enough a decade and I still cannot watch THAT episode. I watched it once, it broke me, I will not do it again. In giving FitzSimmons the most incandescent of happy endings, I vicariously gave Sibyl and Branson the ending that they deserved to have to, in my opinion. 

Do you write crossovers? 

Nope! Crossovers have never really been my thing, not even to read! I just cannot get into them for some reason. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Only once and it shook me to my very core. I responded rather diplomatically, in my opinion, as the commenter was taking issue with an enemies to lovers plot I had going on with FS and honestly responding made me feel more confident in my premise. I am, just because of that one stupid comment, really self conscious about that fic to this day, which is sad because it is based in something I love so much. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

I do! But I’m never very confident in it, for a myriad of reasons. I kind of chucked myself into the deep end with Other People and tried to push my boundaries out a little bit, which I think is always good as a writer. It was never anything deeply graphic but enough to warrant an E rating haha. I did write a couple of E rated fics after that, but again it was all fairly on the tamer end of an E rating in my opinion, and currently I don’t have any plans to write any more smut in the future. I only every tried to put it in if I felt it added something to the story. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not that I’m aware of. I would hope that someone would tell me if they read something that they knew was mine. 

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Nope! 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, although Rebecca (@besidemethewholedamntime) did help me leaps and bounds with The Same Bewildering Dream, but I have never properly collaborated in the actual proper writing of a fic with someone before! I think it would be really fun though! hmu if you wanna collab lol. 

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 

Sighs. I have been trying, for about a year now, to write a FS Pride and Prejudice AU and I just cannot seem to make it work. I really want to follow the same structure that P&P does and I just cannot seem to get these characters to fit into that world. It would be easy to just modernise it but I really REALLY want to do it regency style and it just isn’t working and it’s so frustrating because I have so many good ideas for it. 

What are your writing strengths?

I truly have no idea. If I had to say anything I think I’m good at writing emotions, trying to get across things that maybe aren’t specifically verbal, like anxiety and worry but also love (requited or no) and just internal things like that. That’s at least what I enjoy writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Speech and transitioning between scenes, and just like the little bits between dialogue. I will often go just big chunks of dialogue without adding anything inbetween because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Absolutely go for it if you can! As some who is painfully monolingual I would not even try to attempt that myself unless I had someone who I could ask to translate something for me. I could maybe do phrases here and there but nothing bigger than that.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Oh god I don’t even remember. It was so long ago, on a long abandoned ff.net account that I made when I was like 12 or 13. If I had to say it was either, Harry Potter or Hunger Games. All terrible. All should probably never be read ever again.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh god. I have favourites but all for different reasons. I loved writing Our Love Lasts So Long because I just had such a clear image of it in my head and just knew where I was going with it the whole way through. I also really love The Lady and the Chauffeur because it was the fic that really just got me back into writing fic properly, it was my first ever long form-ish fic and I just beyond loved writing it and the reaction to it was just so warm and welcoming and it was just everything good and wonderful. Other People is also SO dear to me because it just got me through a really disgusting time in my life. My Grandad was very unwell with covid and sadly died as I was halfway through writing that fic and it was just my place to escape, it allowed me such a great amount of catharsis, I was just able to channel all of my feelings into that fic and I’m so grateful for that. It honestly kept me sane and level during that really god awful time and it just means the world because of that. I also just beyond love the story. Ever since I watched Normal People, I was just kind of waiting for someone to write a FS au of it because it just fit them so perfectly in my mind. Eventually I got bored of waiting and pulled a Thanos and just went “Fine I’ll do it myself.”. The reaction to that fic also just sent me to the beyond and I’m just so beyond grateful for all the love it received.

I willing tag (if they want to of course!): @nazezdha321 @kitthekazoo and @agentofship

[eltanin-malfoy]

Cliché

pairing : draco/pureblood-slytherin!y/n (gender neutral again!)

word count :  2.2k

warning(s) : mentions of petrification, (does that warrant a warning? idk. putting it here just bc) some anxiety

requested : yes, by @lespaceboi

a/n : sorry for taking so long w this one lol. school has been keeping me nice n busy. also, just so u know, it is my birthday tomorrow (29th oct), so i’ve been p busy w all sort of other stuff as well lmao. (feat. the slightest bit ooc draco and a bit of a rushed romance) also i didn’t mean to throw shade or anything, i just thought it would be funny to approach a story with this kinda commentary, lmk what you think!

taglist : @accio-taurus​  @acciodracoo ​ @drawlfoy ​ @war-sword​  @socontagiousimagines​ 

Everything between the two of you was always as if out of a predictable sitcom. The misfit and the bully, almost immediately enemies. One on the wrong side of a prejudice and the other simply resisting it. 

It started off with chiding, with unfriendly confrontation. Drama you couldn’t care less for. Eleven year old you didn’t need this kind of nonsense. You were studying, by the fireplace in the common room. Warm heat radiating onto your sweater covered frame, when cold steely eyes locked onto yours and walked over to you. “So, it’s true, is it?” “What?” “You’re a mudblood? Or at least one of your par-” “No. Are you done now?” “That can’t be.. That’s not what Daph-” “Daphne and everyone else just want to make up reasons as to why I don’t want to spend time with the rest of them.”                                                             

“You sure? You’re uh-”                                                                                      

“I’m sure. Just because I don’t believe you and all your.. cronies aren’t better than everyone else just for being pureblooded doesn’t me-” “Okay, I get it, I get it. You don’t have to act all high and mighty for thinking you’re better than us just because you sympathize with mudbloods.” “How dare you!”

And that was how it started. The mother of all cliches. You were rivals, enemies, whatever you want to call it. The animosity between the two of you only grew as time passed.

Your first year passed on in solitude. You tried your best to stay away from the preying Slytherins of your year. However, this was difficult considering each of your housemates were in pretty much all of your classes with you. The general bitterness between you and the rest of your house was clear to the rest of your year and so you managed to remain civil with everyone else. But that was the extent of any of that. Just polite smiles, nods and whispered words. Nothing more. And it was.. unpleasant. But bearable, so you didn’t complain. 

Your second year was quite a bit more terrifying. The Chamber of Secrets and the Heir of Slytherin.. Mrs. Norris.. You’d heard the mumbles and whispers about Harry Potter being the guilty party, and you couldn’t help but believe them the slightest bit. The other houses seemed to turn against you the slightest bit but you strung it out, growing wary and hoping that the true culprit would be found sooner than later. But then the petrifications began.. and well.. it was scary, to be very, very concise. Students you’d known the past year or so, perky, bright ones even, were found frozen, basically. What was even scarier was no one knew what or how these attacks were occurring. Of course, the ‘heir of Slytherin’ was behind these attacks, but who even was that? You began to suspect something yourself. 

It was too obvious. The person behind them couldn’t possibly as blatant as.. he was being. You were beginning to lose respect for him very steadily. One can only say the ‘m’ word a couple of times before you can’t help but wish to knock the living daylights out of them. Buying his place onto the Quidditch team was one thing, but acting as if it had nothing to do with his father’s money was just stupid. It annoyed you much too much. 

And then it happened.

You were making your way back to your dormitory after lunch, taking a bit of a detour to walk alone and clear your head for a while. But then.. you noticed.. them.

The ‘brightest witch of your year’ (or at least that’s what you’d overheard some adults saying.. sigh.) and that one blonde Ravenclaw prefect you’d seen around..  on the floor, frozen as if they were made of stone. A large mirror in the bushy brunette’s hand. Any prejudice you’d held against either of them disappeared in that instant and your feet began scampering off, your hands trembling the slightest bit as you found the nearest teacher (Professor.. Vector, was it?) and told them what you’d just seen. 

Of course, other members of the staff arrived in an instant, quickly taking off with the two to the Hospital Wing. You followed after them, this close to hyperventilating and just in general blowing your top off. You stood warily, being handed a bottle of Calming Draught as you took a seat nearby. 

McGonagall came in soon enough, followed by Harry Potter himself (he couldn’t possible be the guilty party now..), in his Quidditch robes, gosh, and Ron Weasley. The two walked over to her bed and stared at her, touching her hands and looking shocked. Ron gulped audibly before Madam Pomfrey muttered something to the two of them and they looked over at you, their faces still solemn. Harry looked back at Granger, but Ron mouthed a ‘Thanks’ before doing the same.

You walked over to them and spoke and then... you finally managed to make your first proper alliance at school, or.. most people would simply call it a friendship, I suppose. A few of them, at that. All at once.

Malfoy clearly recognised this. And what used to be occasional shows of aggression turned into.. well.. an everyday thing. His two ‘rivals’ had gotten close and he was very, very annoyed. Very. 

And time really did begin to fly. The long days you had turned into quick weeks and months and Harry defeated the ‘Basilisk’ and saved Ron’s sister and everything was alright. And you had good friends.

And an enemy. Ugh. Clichés are clichés for a reason, huh?

Third year began with its.. commotions. You were in the same Care for Magical Creatures class as Harry, Ron and Hermione, which was certainly great, but.. so was Draco (and all of his buddies, gross!).

There was everything with Sirius Black and Draco’s chiding and well… you’d had enough. Draco called Hermione that.. filthy word yet another time and Harry and Hermione had to hold you and Ron back before you actually just knocked his head in and broke his bones and-

Goddammit. You couldn’t take this anymore. Three years had passed and you were still struggling with Draco Malfoy and his pristine blonde hair and his blue blooded gait and his idiotic ego. Obviously, telling Snape wasn’t an option. And so you took it upon yourself. Why did you attempt to change someone so goddamn difficult? Who knows. We all do dumb things sometimes, right?

One night in September in the Slytherin commons, you grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him to a corner, much to the alarm of all his cronies. 

“You need to stop.”

“Stop what?” “Being such a goddamn prat.”

His silvery eyes shimmered in the dim light and he began glaring down at you. “Says you, the friend of slimy Gryffindors, sympathizer of mudbl-” 

“This is exactly what I’m talking about, Merlin!”

“Do all blood traitors think you’re above all of us whom are actually right or is it just the four of you?”

“Draco.. Just.. shut up.”

“What? I’m n-” “You’re just being a prick. You’re the biggest arsehole I know! I swear!”

“You are so-!” “The two of you need to calm down and clear out of here.” A third voice suddenly appeared out of nowhere. You looked up and were met with the piercing gaze of Dendron, the new merciless fifth year Prefect. Goddammit. Oh well, at least you were saved from getting a massive headache.

You walked away and your fourth year continued as it was. And all the foreigners arrived and… Harry..  well.. 

Trouble really finds him, doesn’t it?

And of course, Draco only grew more pathetic. Seeing him getting turned into a ferret was one of the highlights of your year. Your quarrelling was growing constant. You might have, on occasion, gone around looking to bump into him and get into a bit of a spat. It was a little entertaining, you had to admit, how very irritable he was. 

One December morning, when the silvers of wintry frost had made themselves known on your window, you traversed around the castle with three of your closest friends. Harry had successfully completed the first task and there was still a long way to go till the second, but of course, the four of you still had other things to worry about, or not to worry about, I guess. It wasn’t long before you took their leave and headed back to your dormitory for your Transfiguration textbook, Hermione was willing to help you revise for the next test for once, and you weren’t going to miss out on such a great opportunity. 

But alas! Someone else had a better idea. You were pulled to the side as you walked into the now empty Slytherin common room. Goddammit, this is another cliché of its own, is it not? 

“The Yule Ball. Come with me.” “What? No, I won’t, Malfoy. You can’t ju-” “I’m trying to get Pansy jealous.. She’s-” “So what? I’m no-” “Come on, please!” “No! Why can’t you ask Daphne or Millicent or one of your own other friends?” “Because they all have dates! They’re all busy! Do you really think you were my first option?” You didn’t know why but that one sentence left a bitter taste in your mouth. “So, you’re telling me I’m your last resort?” “No! Come on! You have to come with me to the Yule Ball, I can get you nice dress robes. More exquisite than-” “Oh my god, Draco! Do you really think you can buy me too?”

He glowered down at you and you frowned right back. 

“Has anyone else even asked you?” “... It’s none of your business.” “They haven’t, have they?” “It’s none of your business.” “Then why don’t you want to go with me?” “Because you’re a right arse! And I hate you!” He rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. You couldn’t hate me.”

“Oh, please. Yes, I do. I hate you. You’re vile. And I’m surprised you don’t hate me either.” “I do what I have to do for the things I want.” “So going to the ball with me is something you-” “Just.. shut it. I swear. I don’t even know why I’m asking you. You’re so goddamn difficult.” “Why are you asking me then?” “Because Pansy’d get weirdly jealous of you. She didn’t like us talking or anything of that sort.” “Why? I thought she was like that with everyone.” “No.. she was sensible with other people.. but she said we.. had.. way too much chemistry.”

“.. This is some kind of joke, right?” “No.. it’s not. And I can’t help but..” He looked at you in a way which made your knees feel like they couldn’t hold you up much longer. “But believe it.” “But there-” “If you hate me so much.. then why do you keep staring at me all the time? Even try to look for me, don’t you?”

“N-no! I don’t!” Shit. “How would you even know? Doesn’t that mean you-”

He huffed. “Can’t you read between the lines?” “What are you talking about?” “I like you. That’s why she was jealous of you. She… knew.” You weren’t even sure why your stomach felt like it was about to turn over on itself and your cheeks felt so hot you were afraid they’d light up. “What? But-” “Aren’t people mean to those they fancy? Haven’t you heard of that?” “That’s not true! That’s just an excuse for-” “Shut up.” He blinked slowly, grey orbs tracing a path over your face. He took a step forward and closed the gap between the two of you. And then, for some weird reason, he leaned over to press a kiss to your lips. And for some even more absurd reason, you didn’t push him away. It was soft. And nice. And.. it was okay. Whatever this was.

But why was it? He was.. awful. Looking at him was alright.. but.. 

Maybe he could change? 

And you didn’t realise how long the two of you just.. stared at each other. Smiled. You didn’t even register when your friends showed up and.. caught you.

“Y/N..?” Hermione called out, and you looked to the side immediately, snapping out of your gaze and seeing the three of them standing together. How long had they been there? Had they seen everything? Oh, Christ, this is another trope, is it not?

Ron’s freckled cheeks were pinking up furiously and Harry suddenly spoke up. “You were taking a while so we thought we’d check if you got stuck or something.. And I guess we were right.” Ron suddenly scampered forwards but Harry grabbed him by the shoulders again. “You’d best not do a thing to Y/N, Malfoy! I’ll knock your block right off, I swear it! Give you another black eye if that’s what you want!”

You reached down and fiddled with the tip of your tie. “Th-there’s nothing between us like that.. Not..”

“Not yet.” Draco completed for you, and you looked up at him, then back at the three of them.

“I mean.. we saw enough, Y/N.” Hermione took a deep breath. “And.. I’d say.. I was disappointed and all of that stuff.. but I can’t even say I’m surprised.”

Ron let out a sound of surprise. “What are you talking about? I knew Y/N-” “It’s all Y/N can think about doing nowadays, isn’t it? Getting on Malfoy’s nerves?” 

The three of them looked at each other in solemn agreement before simply nodding over at you. And that was that. Being caught sharing warm breaths and blushing and everything in between. It was so out of nowhere and yet it was not. 

Oh, Merlin. Enemies to lovers stories are so goddamn clichéd. 

[purplesurveys]

1043

survey by egooverdose

Japan: What is one stereotype you associate with Asian countries/people? :/ :/ Uhm...

Jelly Bracelets: Do you have any? In which colors? Have you ever broken one? I seem to have forgotten what these refer to, but I’m sure I had a couple that didn’t last long. I wasn’t much into bracelets as a kid. Joakim Berg: Who is your favorite foreign singer|musician? Do you translate his or her lyrics? Beyoncé, I guess. All Americans are foreigners to me. I don’t translate her lyrics, nor do I do that with any other songs in English.

Josh Todd: Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what made you decide to get them? No, but I’d love a couple that symbolize important things or people, like a bowl of nachos for Nacho and each of my dogs’ pawprints.

kent: Say something in a foreign language? The word ‘kampana’ is Filipino for bell.

Kundera: What is one philosophy you have regarding life|living|purpose? Idk, I’m starting from scratch after the shitstorm that was this year. I have to find one again. I’m not rushing, though, and I want to give myself as long as I need to regather. Fuck knows I need to be kind to myself right now.

Learning: What is something you enjoy learning about? Off the top of my head, anything that doesn’t involve machines tbh. I can read about anything Wikipedia and encyclopedias have to offer, but I draw the line at factories and automobiles and engineering and robots and stuff lmao, it’s just not my thing.

Minimalist Interior Design: How would you design the inside of your own home? You already mentioned it; minimalist. I don’t want a lot of furniture and a lot of color in my space. I’d be happy with a minimal number of items organized in a meaningful way with some pastel shades here and there.

Miserable Weather: What is a weather-type that you like that not many others do? Thunderstorms, I guess? It’s been a hit or miss for me these days though; I’ve found myself crying more when it rains...but for the longest time I’ve enjoyed bleak and rainy weather. I’m not planning to drop it as my favorite just yet.

Morning: Are you friendly in the morning, or are you barely awake? I’m friendly at work from the start to the end of my shift because it’s the nice thing to do, and because I have to be. But I’m almost always anxious and on the brink of breaking down every morning. Since it’s WFH, no one from work has to know that.

Music: How important is music in your life? It’s slowly becoming significant again. I got a Spotify subscription for myself after years of sharing with Gab’s account lol, so I’ve been revisiting the music that I had to set aside for months while I had to grieve on my own. It was brutal the first few days and I cried a lot when I heard my go-to sad songs again, but I soon realized I need releases like that and so I’ve been a little more unafraid to listen to music each day.

Oasis: What is a band you remember liking from your childhood? Paramore? HAHAHAHA they were the first band I ever loved, man. And I’m happy I get to say I still very much love them.

Opinions: Do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (i.e. Abortion being wrong|right, Meat-eating being wrong|right)? If it’s the kind of opinion that will step on fundamental human rights, like being vehemently against same-sex marriage, then we will have a problem. Otherwise, I don’t care if someone prefers Android or having pineapples on their pizza unless they’re being an asshole about it.

Orchids: What is your favorite type of flower? Does it grow where you live? Peonies. Idk, I guess so? I don’t speak flowers.

Outerspace: Do you think there's a possibility of life out there? There sure is; the universe is so vast. I wish we’re able to learn more in this lifetime, though; I wouldn’t want to miss out on future discoveries.

Photo-Editing: Do you edit any of your pictures? In what ways? Sometimes I’ll add a cute or flattering filter; that’s the furthest my editing skills go. I don’t use advanced applications like Photoshop and I don’t know how to remove moles or stray hairs or whatever.

Photography: If you like to take pictures, what is your motivation? I’m not into photography per se, like it’s not a hobby of mine or anything; but I do like taking photos of special or funny events. It’s nice to have a memento for a little bit of everything going on in my life.

Poland: Would you ever consider living anywhere cold? Yes. Maybe not Norway or Finland levels of cold, but somewhere considerably cooler than the humid hot mess I currently live in. When I went to Jeju four Aprils ago, they had the p e r f e c t temperature I could ever ask for and it was sooooo perfectly and comfortably cold in that I got to walk around in shorts but I never shivered or got goosebumps.

Potatoes: What is your absolute favorite food? It used to be burgers, but my mom has been making so many cheeseburgers the last few weeks that I need to take a break from them lol. Right now, my favorite would be sushi.

Questions: Do you like to ask questions, or answer them? Answer them, hence this blog.

Quirks: What are some weird things about you? Depends on what you count as weird. By far, people have been weirded out the most by the fact that I don’t eat fruits and will avoid them like the plague. I don’t mind the reactions and it’s actually turned out to be a great icebreaker, so I whip out that factoid pretty often haha.

Quizzes: When was the last time you were tested on something? I had a blood test last May because we needed to know if my fever was dengue or something else. Turned out to be a UTI.

Radiohead: Do you like any depressing bands? After Laughter is sad as shit but I wouldn’t say Paramore is generally known by this image. None of the other bands I listen to would count as ‘depressing.’

Rings: How would you describe the size of your fingers? They’re long and slender, which I love.

Satire: Do you enjoy political satire? It’s a hit or miss. I generally don’t seek it out.

Singing: Who do you know personally that has a nice singing voice? Leigh.

Skinny Jeans: Would you wear them? Or do you hate them? I wear them, but I hate them. 

Smashing Pumpkins: Listen to the band, or take it literally and actually GO smash pumpkins? xD Neither.

Snakes: Would you ever wear snake-skin pants, or other animal clothing? I used to wear leather shoes because it was required for school. I avoid the practice now.

Snow: What, to you, is the best part about snow|snowy weather? You tell me, lol. I’ve never experieinced snow before.

Space: Do you like to have your own space? Are you independent? It’s definitely important to have it every now and then; I’m actually taking this survey from a Starbucks because I needed so baddddd to get out of the house. It’s the first time I’m out on my own without having to do errands since March, and it feels kinda nice.

As for being independent, I’ve been mostly a dependent person and I like having people to lean on, but my breakup has also been pushing me out of my comfort zone and to try out new things just by myself. We’ll see where this takes me in a few months.

Starry Nights: When was the last time you gazed at the night sky? Last Saturday.

Stockholm: What foreign country would you like to go to for a shopping spree? Do I really have to go to another country for this? Hahahahaha idk maybe Shanghai? The people there were dressed so well when I visited.

Studded Belts: Do you own any? What do you think of them? Nope.

Suave Shampoo: What is your favorite shampoo scent? Brand? I don’t have a preference for either. As long as it’s able to clean my hair, it’s fine.

Sunglasses: What kind do you own|wear, if any? Do you like them? I don’t really. I don’t like my vision getting tinted.

Surveys: How many surveys do you think you have taken since you've started? My old survey blog has nearly 1500 while this one has a little over 1000, then add what’s probably a few hundreds that I did in 5th grade but never saved anywhere...so maybe somewhere between 2500 to 2700 in total? Hahaha I honestly thought it would be more.

Sweden: Do you ever feel like you should have been born in another country? I think nearly everyone from the Philippines thinks this.

Swedish Fish: What is a candy you often enjoy? Gummy anything.

Tea: Do you like tea more than coffee, or the other way around? I love coffee; I’m drinking one right now :D I never enjoyed tea.

The Beatles: My brother gets mad if people say they aren't the best band ever; what about you? Then I guess I shouldn’t be talking to him.

Theories: What do you think will happen to you after you die? Sleep.

Thom Yorke: If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him|her? If we were in a Covid-free society, all I’d ask for is a hug, really. I wouldn’t have anything to ask them.

Thought: What do you spend most of your day thinking about? I’m still grieving about the stuff I’ve already covered.

Thought-Provoking Conversation: What do you consider deep? This would be a little hard to verbalize and I don’t really feel like describing rn. I guess you can say this question in itself is deep, ha.

Tokyo: Where is a busy place you would like to go to? Aw man what an innocent question. I wish I could show this survey-maker what a trainwreck 2020 has been and how ‘busy places’ virtually don’t exist anymore, at least for now.

Unpretentious Gestures: If someone pays you a compliment, do you take it to heart, or do you pass it off as just flattery? I take it to heart, but I’m not always able to receive it well.

Video Games: Do you think they cause people to become violent? No. I spent my childhood going on killing rampages on GTA and I’m still unlikely to resort to violence.

Vocabulary: What was the last word you learned? The term ‘low latency.’ 

Warsaw: What is a funny fact about your heritage? Good question, but I can’t think of any at the moment. I don’t really think ‘funny’ when I look for facts to absorb but now I want to look this up haha.

Web Design: Have you or could you build your own site? My principal requirement for my Online Journalism class was to make my own website/blog, actually. But Covid blew up and we ended up having to cancel the entire semester altogether, so my classmates and I never got to pursue more of that class other than our first few meetings, which were used for lectures.

Winter: How long|cold are winters in your area? It does not even exist.

Words: How many pages of words do you think you type a day? Maybe like 5 or 6. It’s a WFH set-up, so I’m exclusively on the laptop typing away the entire week.

Writing: Do you try to avoid it, or do you embrace it? I embrace it as long as I don’t have to write fiction or prose. I like writing, but only through journals and surveys.

[inosuketingz]

the sheets are stained with blood [p.1]

( gif not mine )

[ PART ONE ] PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR Victor Zsasz x fem!Reader Warning: Some swearing and mentions of violence. Spoilers for Birds of Prey Word Count: 1482 Summary: Zsasz survives the ending of BoP and somehow snaps even further after finding out what happened to Roman. Desperate to find a new obsession, he latches on to the reader while meeting her on a heist. A/N; Thought about this after watching BoP and decided to write it for my new tumblr acc. Also posted on my Ao3. Its gonna get smutty in future parts of course but this first part is quite mundane lol. Future parts will also feature some Helena x reader bc I’m a whore for Helena Bertinelli. Reader is a witch-y metahuman and is a part of Wonder Woman’s rogue gallery.

The TV plays the latest news report as you stuff a spoon of cereal into your mouth. The reporter stands in front of some nightclub near the city reporting on yet another death by stabbing.

"... she was found in the back alley of the nightclub last night, her body purposefully positioned in a life-like stance. Due to CCTV evidence from the previous stabbing murder, the Gotham police are suspecting ex-businessman Victor Zsasz to be the wicked man behind these crimes..." An image transitions onto the screen, showing a low quality image of a man with almost paper white hair and dark bags under his eyes. The reporter continues to drone on about the twisted results from the autopsy report.

"Yikes," you say to yourself before you grab the remote from the coffee table and switch to another channel playing reruns of Martin

You came to Gotham a few months back since Wonder Woman never let you have any fun in Boston, even though she's currently stationed all the way in London. You assume you’ll be able to keep away from the Bat's radar while he’s busy dealing with psycho clowns and knife-wielding serial killers.

A soft ping rings from your phone and you glance at the screen. Shipment's called off is all the text on your lockscreen reads. It's from an unknown number, but you know that it's another henchmen of the crime boss you’re working with for the time being. Putting down the bowl of cereal, you pick the cell up and tap in three letters before pressing send: Why.

It only takes a moment for you to get a reply. Got reports of the Birds of Prey being in the area. Better safe than sorry.

“Fuck,” you curse and throw your head back in anguish. You were relying on the cash you’d get from the heist for rent.

The phone dinged again. Meeting at the mansion to re-work the plan. In an hour, be there on time bruja, the new message reads.

Great. You thought all you were going to to tonight was show up at the docks, use your powers a bit, and run off with your share of the money. But no. God forbid you get your way for once.

With an annoyed groan, you force yourself off the couch and into your bedroom. You kick off your plaid pajama jogger as you push open the door. Your closet is over piled with clothes and you immediately regret not picking out an outfit earlier. You are a strong believer of wearing revealing outfits for yourself, and the amount of bodycon dresses you want to wear was overwhelming. Then you remember it’s winter and inches of snow are already forming outside.

To be a hoe or to care about your well-being. It is a conflicting life that you live.

~ ~ ~

You decided to go for a pair of black cargo pants and a turtleneck. The weather won this round. The mansion’s already filled as you park your car based on the amount of luxury vehicles filling the house's driveway. You hated working in big groups- it only led to problems. But, you’re down to do anything for the amount of checks you would be cashing with this entire heist.

Two burly men guard the front door of the mansion. One of them smirks as he watches you approach.

“Look, it’s the witch,” he tells the other and you roll your eyes. “Where’s your flying broom?” He teases.

“Shut the fuck up,” you mutter as you pass the two, pushing the heavy doors with a grunt.

The other guard laughs at your reply. “Careful, Hermione. It’s all fun and games until Wonder Woman comes and drags you out of Gotham.”

You don’t bother to look back as you retort “It’s all fun and games ‘til I cast a spell that leaves you two without your dicks tomorrow morning.” The silence as you continue down the dark hallway tells you they stopped smiling.

Are you actually going to bewitch their genitals away? No. But most people knew better than to assume you wouldn’t.

The corridor is dark, tinted red by the only source of light- an open set of doors leading into a grand meeting room. Expensive pottery and paintings lined against the walls of the mansion, all what you’d expect from Hernando del Rey.

Originally, you actually meant it when you decided to lay low in Gotham. You’d find a nice apartment, steal from the rich, and stay off the news until the end of time.

Then, you were contacted by Hernando del Rey, a Venezuelan crime boss straight out of a mob movie. Though you’re not necessarily a bad person- you define yourself as a chaotic neutral- you are dangerous. Del Rey wanted your powers, and you wanted the money- so here you are now.

You shove your hands into your pockets and swagger into the open doors. A group of about 20 people, men, women, and all those in between, sit at a long table. Some of the faces you recognize, either from previous meetings you’ve had with del Rey or from news reports.

One such face belongs to none other than Victor Zsasz. He immediately stands out from the others with his snowy hair and scruffy beard. He also looks like he hadn’t slept in days, so there’s that. Plus, ever since the CCTV recording of him at the last stabbing was leaked, his face is all you saw on the news.

His tired eyes watch you as you enter the room. You can’t tell if he’s giving you bedroom eyes or staring you down like a predator does a prey. Quite frankly, you aren’t in the mood to find out.

“My bruja!” del Rey, who made his seat at the end of the table, cheers when he sees your face. “The most important member of my team!”

You stretch your lips into an awkward smile “Hi.”

“Please take a seat.” Hernando motion towards the table. “Then we’ll begin.” You glance over in the direction of all the seated guests. Powers or not, way too many of them look like they wouldn’t mind killing you.

“I’m fine standing, thanks.”

Hernando shrugs and begins lecturing about the game plan with the new threat of the Birds of Prey. You only pay half of your attention, catching a few words here and there. You never listen carefully at times like this, since your job is usually to just show up, cast some hexes and head out.

“I didn’t know they let witches in on heists.” You look down and see Victor Zsasz in front of you. His head is leaning back, since he sits facing away from you. Now that you are closer to him, you can see his features more clearly. From the silver teen in his mouth, to his token scars that cover his body- the nastiest being one on his neck that you assume wasn’t given to him voluntarily.

You bend down slightly so you can whisper in his ear, “I didn’t know they let mass murderers in on them, either.” He scoffs and straightens his neck and you straighten your back.

“-Y/N and Victor Zsasz will be the ones going to Hyunwoo Kim’s estate tomorrow.”

Yikes.

“I’m sorry, why do I get put with him?” You confront the boss. “I don’t think our attributes really compliment each other, to be honest.”

Hernando del Rey sighs, like an annoyed parent dealing with a bratty child. “Zsasz will be doing all the work, Y/N. You’re only there to make sure he doesn’t act out. If he does, just use your brujeria to kill him.”

The inside of your cheek starts to bleed due to how hard you bite it to refrain from arguing any further. You’ve never seen del Rey angry and you want to make sure to keep it that way.

From the corner of your eye you see Zsasz is back to looking at you. The wicked smile he wears tells you that this wouldn’t be any good.

~ ~ ~

A tired sigh leaves your mouth as you enter your apartment. The lights are off, just like you left it. It’s pitch black, leaving you blind against the darkness.

You begin to take off your pair of pumps when you notice the energy is off in here. The voice in your head yells that you are not alone. Immediately, you begin to mumble a Haitian spell you learned while in Port-au-Prince once summer- one that allows you to find a foe before they find you.

You’re not even halfway through the first line when a strong force pushes against you and your neck is pricked by a sharp object. Using your elbow, you hit the light switch.

The lights flicker on, revealing Victor Zsasz staring at you with the same look from earlier.

“Hello, witch.”

[thejemersoninferno]

Falling.

· Pairing: Loki x Reader.

· A/N: This is the second and last part to Lie to me. Thank you @jewels2876​ for BETA means a lot and thank you for approving my random plots lol. Please notice there are little bits “marked” because they’re premonitions the reader has. Thank you.

· Word Count: 3087.

· Warnings: angst, language... and more angst.

“Please, talk with me,” Loki asked, for the third time that morning. You sighed and looked at him, tired of him chasing you around.

“Loki, let me live,” you hissed between your teeth.

“I know I fucked up but,” he started apologising but you interrupted him. Your hand over his mouth, stopping any word that could escape his throat and hurt you more.

“I know and I said it’s okay now,” you inhaled, “Just let it go, okay? We’ll be fine line, we’ll be alright,” you murmured, closing the short gap between you two and leaving a kiss on his forehead, before walking away from him.

Loki shut his eyes close, inhaling and feeling his shoulders trembling before the tears streamed down his face. It killed him, every time you spoke to him, you were nice, lovely and careful to not hurt his feelings, to make sure he was okay even after all the pain he has put you through. FRIDAY acknowledged Thor was waiting for him to part to New Asgard. He inhaled and exhaled one last time before walking out to meet his brother and their partners.

You were sitting next to Bucky, he was whispering something to you and you chuckled, poking his arm. Bucky smirked and looked away, facing an angry but defeated Loki.

“Alright friends,” Thor smiled, “We must leave but we will come back,”

“Are you tired of repeating yourself?” Loki wondered, unamused.

“Loki,” Steve, who surprisingly has been helping him, tried to calm him down.

“Steve,” Loki said, exhaling, “Okay, let’s go,”

Thor waved goodbye to everyone, Loki bit his lip before looking one last time at you and making them disappear from your sight.

You closed your dorm door behind you and exhaled. Watching Loki part broke your heart every time, even after all that has happened, you were never ready when he had to leave. You walked to your bed and sat down, looking at your wall. Pastel yellow covered the walls, a mirror in the shape of a flower Bucky said, an half-empty wardrobe and your king-size bed covered in black and yellow sheets. A vague memory of moving out from your shared dorm with Loki flashed before your eyes. You remembered Bucky helping you pack your things and holding you tight on his arms while you cried, not only from your broken heartache but from the wound on your chest. A wound that will always remind you from the time you got your heart ripped out your chest, metaphorically. 

You lay down on your bed, inhaling and exhaling. The low whispers covering your ears, the whispers of pain, sadness and heartache Loki cried on your hospital bed. You huffed and stormed inside your bathroom, you needed to relax and not think about him, not now.

“Wow, wow,” Sam sang, “Ain’t you too fancy to dine in?” he smirked.

“I’ve got a date,” you winked at him.

“What?” you heard behind you, you turned around facing Steve and Bucky, shock covering their features.

“I heard a date?” Tony arrived, sitting down, a bag of popcorn on his hands making you chuckle.

“Yup,” you emphasized the p. 

“With who?” Bucky growled.

“Yeah with who?” Steve petitioned.

“Okay, now, you two calm down,” you huffed at them, “It’s been a few months and I feel ready to go out again,”

“Go! Have fun!” Tony claimed, “Conquer!”

Sam and you chuckled, “yeah, right,” Sam added.

“I don’t think you should..” Steve started explaining and you interrupted him, kissing his cheek.

“I’ll be fine Steve,” you smiled one more time, waving them goodbye.

“You okay there, Elsa?” Tony asked Bucky.

“Yes,” he growled, walking back to the kitchen.

Two hours later you walked in, your boots in your hands, tiptoeing to not make much noise. The light from the sofa lamp startled you. Bucky and a sleeping Steve waited for you. You murmured hi and he motioned your dorm. You nodded and walked to Steve, waking him up quietly. The three of you walked to your dorms. Steve wondered about your date and you told him you would tell him everything the next morning. 

You closed your eyes adding some face lotion after washing your little makeup and walked to your bed. You waited patiently, the silence filled your room.

           ↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭

Your chest hurt, you lowered your sight and found Bucky inside the crowd. He looked everywhere trying to find someone, trying to find you. You rushed to the closest door and shut it close behind you. Large white hall welcomed you, two doors at the end waited to be opened. You walked slowly, quietly trying to not notice your presence. Your hand reached the doorknob and you gasped, letting it go, your hand boiling red. You heard the noise, shouting, screaming. You reached the doorknob on the right side, it was cold. You heard the wind and loud noise coming from it. You looked one last time the left side door, before deciding to open the right-side door, you slowly turned the doorknob, when you distinguish a song coming from the other door. You knew that song, the melody, the words.

           ↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭

“Doll,” Bucky's’ voice called you. You looked at him confused, you looked everywhere and noticed your room.

“Buck,” you whispered.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, pulling you to his chest.

You stayed in his arms for a while, in complete silence. It’s been nearly a year since he has been coming to your room and comforted you.

“It wasn’t a memory,” you murmured.

“Don’t need to talk about it,” he replied, “and you know it,”

“It wasn’t a premonition either,” you told him, trying to find his eyes.

“Well,” he said, “whatever it is, it’s not real, you’re here, I’m here, we’re here,” he assured you. You nodded and closed the gap, holding tight on his arms. A few minutes later, you changed position, laying next to each other while you explained him about your date and the whole dinner thing. He joked and laughed about a few things and the man himself making you laugh and poke his arm. 

You woke up the next morning, Bucky’s left arm around your waist, his right hand holding your hands. You moved slowly trying to not wake him up. You quickly showered and got ready.

Steve and Tony welcomed you in the kitchen and the three of you prepared breakfast for the team. The rest joined you and you ate your breakfast listening to your date night.

“What a waste of time!” Tony huffed.

“Why do you seem more annoyed than her?” Sam wondered.

“Maybe coz he planned it,” Bucky winked his way.

“I did not,” Tony spat, his face slowly turning red.

“Tony,” you giggled, “It was fun,” you smiled, “No worries, we’re good,”

“You were spending too much time with Elsa,” he added, “that was boring,”

You chuckled and poked your tongue out at him, “Bucky ain’t that boring,”

“Why, thank you,” Bucky said, sarcastically. You all laughed and finished eating your breakfast before walking back to your schedule. You were leaving town with Clint and Natasha to Wakanda. T’Challa needed to talk a few things with the team and the three of you were the only ones available at the moment. 

“You be careful, uh,” Bucky told you.

“You’re the one going on a mission,” you chuckled.

“I know,” he added, “but we’ll be fine,” Bucky smiled.

“Sam’s going,” you added.

“Damn,” he whispered, “We’re screwed,”

“Fuck the two of you,” Sam spat walking past you, making you burst out laughing and gaining a smirk from Steve.

“C’mon, get on the jet and leave Sam alone,” Steve said, leaving a kiss on your cheek and walking away. Bucky kissed your forehead and followed Steve. Clint and Natasha arrived at your side and you walked to your own quinjet ready for Wakanda.

          ↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭

“I don’t get it,” Loki whispered. You sighed and denied.

“Loki,” you murmured.

“I don’t know what else I’ve got to do,” Loki murmured, confused.

“Nothing,” you told him back, “it’s done now,” you bit your lip.

“I can’t,” Loki denied, “I won’t accept it,” he grunted.

“It’s not your say,” you murmured.

“It just won’t feel right,” he spat, nervously, “I love you more than this,” he babbled.

“I know you do,” you said, defeated, “I know you’ll always love me but that’s over,”

“Let me try,” he begged, “let me show you I love you more than this,”

You inhaled and exhaled, sadness feeling your lungs and your heart.You couldn’t do it anymore, not again. You felt your heart heavy and so did your eyes, you shut your eyes closed, wanting to sleep.

“Look at me,” Loki called you, “Look at me, please,” he begged.

“We ran out of time,” you whispered, you closed the gap between you two and left a chaste kiss on his lips. He trembled under your touch, you felt his eyes squeezing hard on the moment and then the tears of his eyes falling onto your cheeks.

“You said you missed me too,” he murmured, his voice pledging brokenly.

You shook your head, walking back, looking anywhere but his face.

“You said you care,” Loki cried, “I’m well aware because I miss you too,”

You jumped on your spot, gaining looks from T’Challa and Okoye.

           ↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭

“Sorry,” you murmured, confused about the premonition. You inhaled and wondered what Loki was doing.

“Nearly there,” Clint said.

“Great,” Natasha added. You picked up what you needed and prepared yourself to help T’Challa in whatever has broken into Shuri's’ new lab. 

Tony interrupted mid-fight to inform America’s next top model as he renamed Steve, Sam and Bucky had arrived at their destination and already faced their assets. Making the four days away trip a round trip ending the next day. You thanked him and knocked out the intruder.

“That was quick,” Okoye commentted.

“Better than hard,” Clint shrugged.

           ↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭

“Why?” Loki cried, “why?” he spat.

“Because I can’t do this anymore,” you murmured.

“What I’m now?” he wondered.

“LOKI!” Bucky yelled, you spun around and saw the team approaching you. Bucky walked past you, ignoring you and holding Loki up. 

“She,” Loki murmured.

“It’s okay,” Bucky told him. Steve arrived, patting his back. Bucky pulled Loki on his arms, holding him tight and that’s when you noticed the tears on his face. Tears streamed from Steves’ eyes and so did Buckys’.

           ↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭

You jumped on your bed, your body trembling and sweat covering the sheets. You looked at the window, the bright moon enlightening the room. You heard a noise outside your room and walked out to find Shuri tiptoeing to her lab. You two made eye contact and she grinned, you followed her to her lab and joined whatever she was planning to do and couldn’t wait.

“You’re here,” Bucky greeted you.

“So are you,” you chuckled, “How was it?”

“Sam’s back,” he rolled his eyes making you laugh.

“One day I won’t be coming back and you’ll regret it,” Sam squinted his eyes.

“You’re getting your ass kicked if you dare,” you smirked.

“Do not use Steve on this,” Sam hissed.

“Why are you three always fighting?” Steve asked.

“TOGETHER!” Clint yelled from the kitchen.

“If there’s a problem,” Tony entered the room, “then you’ll find them three there,”

Bucky, Sam and you poked your tongue out at him and smiled, childishly to Steve.

“You’re back,” Loki murmured, arriving behind you. 

You faced him, he looked different, maybe it was the Midgardian clothes he was wearing but he seemed like someone else.

“Loki.” you smiled.

“I missed you,” He admitted, he rasped, “I mean, how are you?”

“I’m okay,” you murmured, your hands shaking.

“Let’s go,” Bucky murmured, pulling you with him, “We got a reservation, we’ll see you all later!” you heard him yell, while your eyes were locked onto Lokis’ eyes.

“What was that?” you wondered, waiting for your food.

“You told me to,” Bucky replied.

“What?” you asked, confused.

“Your text,” he said, confused too.

“What text?” you murmured.

Bucky pulled his phone out, unlocking it and finding the texts you have exchanged the night before. He gave you his phone and you read the texts confused. You didn’t remember sending them, but it clearly seemed you texted him warning him to keep you away from Loki upon your arrival. The day flew by rather quickly, at night Steve and you decided to watch a documentary to try and sleep since you two have been having a hard time sleeping.

You squeezed your eyes trying to stay awake as much as you could, since your mind would wake you up at random times at nights and you wouldn’t sleep again, that’s when Bucky joined. You noticed Steve making himself comfortable at your side and you grinned, letting your head fall on his shoulder. Steve chuckled at the documentary and you giggled. The TV started buzzing and you shook your head.

           ↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭

“Goodbye, bye,” you sobbed, your heart pouncing heart inside your chest.

“Please,” Loki begged, tears watering his eyes.

“Loki,” you said, biting your lip.

“Love, please,” He babbled, his hands reaching yours and you sobbed.

“Loki do not cry,” you asked, “Do not cry for me, please,” you sobbed.

“Stay,” he whispered, pulling you into his chest.

“I can’t Loki,” you growled, “Dammit stop crying,” you begged, “do not cry for me, I don’t deserve it,” your voice breaking his heart.

“I can’t and I won’t,” Loki sobbed, anger and pain on his face, “I love you,”

“It’s too late, it doesn’t matter anymore,” you said, pulling away from him.

“If you miss me, will you come back?” he wondered, faithfully, “Will you come back to me?” he begged, scared.

“I can’t answer that,” you said, your voice trembling. You shut your eyes letting the tears fall, you felt a knot on your throat, something pulling your feet on the ground, making it impossible to move. Loki called for you, he tried to reach you but you felt something pulling you away from him. Your eyes met his eyes and you noticed the rainfall, his long wavy hair cover his features, his mouth slightly open, rosy lips trembling and so did his chest, his tears mixing the pouring rain.

         ↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭↭

“Doll,” Bucky, moved you slightly. You opened your eyes slowly, confused, agitated. You were in your room already, under your sheets. You saw worry on Buckys’ eyes.

“I’m alright,” you murmured.

“You sure?” he asked. You nodded and accommodated yourself, to make him space next to you.

“Steve?” you wondered.

“In bed already,” Bucky said, positioning himself next to you.

“Goodnight Buck,” you whispered.

“Night doll,” he replied.

Loki welcomed you in the kitchen. A fruit smoothie waited for you next to your cereal bowl. He ate slowly and quietly. Steve arrived at his seat and looked at you, confused. Watching the two of you sit together was something they haven’t seen in a while. You smiled at them and continued eating your food. Normal it’s what you needed and it was pretty normal to eat next to him.

“Do you remember?” Loki murmured, low enough for you to hear. You gulped your granola and looked at him.

“What?” you asked, mixing more granola with yogurt.

“Do you remember us?” he murmured, his eyes connecting for a second with yours. You lowered your head, trying to think.

“What exactly?” you said, sipping your smoothie.

“What we used to be,” he whispered.

“Of course I do,” you whispered, annoyed, “it’s not easy to forget three years, you know,”

“You think you will ever come back to me?” his voice, beggful.

“Loki,” you whispered, biting your lower lip trying to hold back the tears.

“If you miss me, will you come back?” fear on his tone, his hands shaking.

“I can’t answer that,” you replied, shooking your head.

“Why?” he asked, begging.

“Because I already know I’m breaking what I loved most,” your voice cracked, “And I can’t promise I will come back to you but I know I’ll always love you and I don’t deserve your tears but,” you inhaled, your body trembling, “Do not forget about us,” you said, “Please, do not forget me,” you cried.

You heard a spoon fall and then Loki’s arms embrace you. You cried together, your cracking voice trying to comfort the other one and the team not knowing what to do. Bucky pulled Steve by his sleeve and motioned everyone else to leave the room. Everyone walked out in silence, letting you there, Bucky looked your way one more time and he sighed, knowing you were in a room full of memories and you needed to be held by the other one.

That night Bucky walked to Loki’s dorm, he knocked twice and he opened the door to find Loki crying himself to sleep. He sat next to him and comforted him for a while.

“Go,” Bucky murmured, biting his lip.

“Why?” he asked.

“Don’t make me regret it,” Bucky replied, his own tears choking him.

“James,” Loki said, looking him straight in his eyes. Knowing what Bucky felt.

“Loki,” Bucky answered.

“There’s no one to blame but me,” he said.

“Yes,” Bucky replied, “but you are here in your bed and she’s not here,” he said.

“She doesn’t want to,” Loki whispered, gaining a smack on his shoulder.

“You said you missed her,” Bucky hissed, “And I know coz I heard you at night, I heard you walking to her dorm and stay outside her door, trying to grow a pair and tell her,” 

“How?” Loki wondered.

“Because I do the same,” Bucky admitted, full of sadness, “Every night, I walk to her and I hold her, I hold her on her sleep crying for you,” his voice cracked, “I’ve got the feeling she’ll never need me again,” he cried.

“I can’t do this to you,” Loki admitted, he denied and stood up, “I won’t do anything,”

“Even if I’m falling in- love with her, I'd rather see you with her than see her falling,” Bucky told him.

“I promise I won’t ever let the time erase us,” Loki promised, his heart on his hand, showing every emotion he felt to Bucky. 

Bucky watched Loki a wrecking mess of emotions, his eyes promising and faithful. Bucky nodded and grinned, pushing him to the door. Loki rushed out, Bucky heard him run down the hall and he sighed, letting the tears fall from his eyes, he might be broken but he wouldn’t let you down, ever again.

  ✦✦✦✦

Love, J ☘.

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ Confessions (Masaharu Niou)

Niou X Reader req: Niou says in one of the databooks he’d make the other one confess their feelings no matter what. “The other one” knows, but is enjoying his increasingly unsubtle attempts to coax them into confessing.

@its-been-quite-a-while​

Genre: Fluff, Slice of Life, Friendship, School ☁

Word Count: 4,433 ☁

Pairing: Reader x Niou ☁

World: Prince of Tennis ☁

Author’s Note: Is this trash? Or is this not trash? I don’t know, but I blame the mosquitos outside because I haven’t been able to sit outside and write because of them lol I started this and just let it go where it wanted. Either way, I hope you enjoy and thanks for requesting ^-^/

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

You sat in homeroom during lunch, going over the history report due by Friday. Niou sat a few desks back in the row to your left, mindlessly fiddling with his pencil as he stared at your back. A couple other students lingered in the room, paying the two of you no mind. Ryusuke, an old friend and your seatmate, entered the room with two bread rolls and two cans of Ponta.

As he slid into the desk on your right, he handed you one of each. “He’s staring at you again.”

You smiled, popping the top of the can. “I know~”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” he wondered, glancing back at the silverette who simply sent him a smirk.

“Not really,” you responded, taking a sip of the beverage. Noticing his unsure look, you added, “Don’t worry, I can handle it.”

“If you’re sure,” he shifted in his seat, carefully removing the plastic from the roll as he changed the topic to something more light-hearted.

Although Niou had told no one, not even Yagyuu, of his plan, to you it was quite obvious. You had always been the type of person that could read people well, and with him being such a close friend, you were able to read him like a book and, to be honest, you found the boy to be quite endearing. He had grown to love you over the years and wanted you to be his. Likewise, your feelings for him were just as solid, but you refused to confess because you knew that is what he wanted – he was determined to make you confess first, but you were enjoying his attempts at coaxing you into doing so far too much.

Niou, meanwhile, was starting to grow a bit annoyed at the situation. It had been almost four years now and he knew you shared his feelings, so why wouldn’t you just confess? He didn’t understand and he certainly didn’t like it. It made him feel more determined.

With a smirk, he stood up and approached you, his hand finding the small of your back as he leaned on the side of your desk, his thumb gently stroking your shirt.

You raised a brow when he didn’t speak. “Need something, Niou-san?”

He didn’t mention it, but you knew the use of his last name with the honorific really bothered him. “Got any plans this weekend?”

“Hmm, are you asking me out?”

“Nope,” he responded, popping the p with a grin. “I’m spending my weekend with Aiko.”

Your lips twitched at his lame attempt to make you jealous, but you kept a soft smile in play. “I didn’t know the two of you were dating. Congratulations!”

His own lips twitched, but he maintained his grin. “It’s not serious, you know. If someone else asked me out this weekend, I’d drop her. Puri~”

“That’s not very nice, Niou-san,” you chided with a frown. “Think of poor Aiko-chan’s feelings!”

His teal orbs flashed with something you couldn’t quite catch and you noticed they were a darker shade than usual. “You didn’t answer me, Y/N.”

Before you could, Ryusuke leaned forward to peer around you and interjected, “Y/N is going camping with me this weekend.”

‘Nice one!’, you mentally cheered. As far as you were aware, he didn’t know anything about the silent battle between yourself and Niou, yet he still managed to help you score some points.

“Where?” he inquired.

“Shindo,”

Niou visibly frowned at the answer, his eyes flickering back to you. “Have fun.” And with that, he left the room without looking back.

You hadn’t expected that reaction and it worried you. ‘Did I take it too far?’

Ryusuke rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly. “Sorry about that, Y/N, it just kinda came out. Don’t worry, we don’t have to actually go!”

“No way, it sounds fun!” You chirped, shaking your head to try and erase Niou’s expression from your mind. ‘Some time away from that trickster will do me good!’

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Two days had passed by uneventfully and that really concerned you. In the time that you had known Niou, he never failed to have some form of communication with you each day, be it through text, calls, in person, or even via notes, but since that day in the classroom, he had been silent. You had to fight the urge several times to keep from approaching or texting him. On the bright side, it’s Friday and the camping trip started that night.

Now that, you were excited about.

The final bell rang, signaling the end of the day. You packed up your books, chatting with Ryusuke about the trip when you felt a hand slide into your pocket. Alarmed, you whipped your head around to find Niou passing by, sending you a look. Your hand slid into the pocket, feeling a small piece of folded paper.

Ryusuke glanced at the male before returning his gaze to you. “Everything okay?”

“Yup!” you responded. “I have to talk to Mizuki-sensei about my history grade and then I’ll head home to get my bags. Meet you at the bus stop?”

“Of course! See you soon, bye bye~!” He waved at you with a grin before turning and leaving the classroom.

You waited a moment to make sure he was gone before pulling the paper from your pocket, smoothing it out on the desk. The note was simple; ‘Meet me at the gate, we need to talk’. Your immediate thought was, ‘What about practice?’ but you shook your head and stuffed the note back into your pocket before leaving the room. Your mind was running wild with possible scenarios that could potentially play out when you reached the gate. The one you wanted most, though, was the least likely.

Niou was leaning against the school gate, the breeze ruffling his silver locks. His eyes met yours as you approached, expression deadly serious. As you got closer, he pushed away from the wall and started to walk away, moving slowly so you could catch up. For several moments, the two of you walked side by side in silence and, just as you were about to break it, he finally spoke up.

“You shouldn’t go camping,”

“And why not?” you challenged.

He stopped dead, staring at you with slightly wide eyes. “The campground killer,”

“The what?” Just what was he trying to pull here?

“I did some research,” he explained. “Two years ago, a man went on a killing spree across Kanagawa, targeting campers and hikers in pairs. They never caught him.”

“Do you really expect me to believe that?” you rolled your eyes and made a move to continue on your way, but he grabbed your wrist.

“If you don’t believe me, ask Marui. He did a whole report on the guy at the beginning of the year.” He paused for a moment before releasing your wrist and shrugging, hands stuffed in his pockets as he walked away.

You frowned at his back before shaking your head with a huff. ‘There’s no way that’s a real thing, he’s just trying to mess with me!’ With some effort, you brushed it from your mind and continued home, forcing yourself to focus on the fun you’d be having that weekend.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Niou entered the bakery, a waft of sugar-filled air hitting him in the face. His eyes scanned the room, finding his two friends sitting near the back of the store.

Marui huffed when the trickster reached the table. “It’s about time!”

“Puri~” he smirked, falling into the seat beside Jackal. “Has Y/N texted you yet?”

“No. You’re still gonna buy me some cake even if they don’t, right?”

“No,”

“Rude!”

Jackal sighed, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand. “This isn’t right, trying to scare Y/N like this. Can’t you just admit you like them and move on?”

“Never,” Niou responded. “I’ll make them confess their love for me no matter what it takes.”

“So complicated,” he sighed again.

“Puri~”

Marui’s phone vibrated on the tabletop, causing the drink glasses to shake. He picked it up, glancing at the screen. “It’s a message from Y/N! Cake, here I come~”

“What did they say?” Niou asked, leaning forward on the table.

Marui read the message aloud, “‘Hey Bunta-kun. Did you write a report about a serial killer this year?’”

The silverette scowled at the use of Marui’s first name and familiar honorific. He was still salty that you had returned to using his last name. “Tell them yes,”

“I know,” Marui pouted at him before typing his reply. It didn’t take long for you to respond. “‘Will you tell me about him? What was his deal?’” Before he could respond, another message came through. “‘Asking for a friend,’” He chuckled before responding by parroting what Niou had told you just twenty minutes earlier, changing a few words at Jackal’s suggestion so it didn’t seem more suspicious than it already did.

As payment for his service, Niou treated the sugar addict to the cake of his choice.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

You frowned at your phone as you sat at the bus stop, waiting for Ryusuke to arrive. At first, you had no intention of letting Niou get into your head, but as you sat on the bench waiting, you couldn’t help but think about his words. You figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least ask Marui for his side of the story but, to your surprise, he gave you basically the same information that Niou had.

Now, you were concerned.

The phone buzzed as Marui texted you again with a simple message. ‘Are you still going camping?’

You were about to respond when something clicked in your mind. You hadn’t mentioned going camping, you simply asked if he had written about a serial killer, so how did he know that information? Sure, it was possible Niou had mentioned it, but that seemed unlikely. Your eyes narrowed as conspiracy theories swirled in your brain.

‘That damn Niou… he’s playing me! Fine, if that’s how he wants to do things. Player two has just entered the game!’ Your fingers quickly typed out the message, ‘Of course! What’s life without a little thrill?’

“Y/N!” Ryusuke came jogging up, bag slung over one shoulder and a tent bag in his hand. “Sorry, my sister kept insisting that I make sure I had everything.”

You chuckled, “No worries. Here comes the bus.”

The two of you stepped back as the bus crept up to the curb, the door squeaking as it slid open. You paid the fee and headed for the back, passing a thin man huddled up against the window, his face covered with a torn, brown hat. The sky was dark, the bus lit up by dull yellow lights above each window. There was only one other passenger on the bus, a little old lady sitting at the front and carrying on a conversation with herself.

As you fell into the seat, setting your bag beside you, your phone buzzed again with several messages from the fuschia-haired boy – ‘What?’ ‘Did you not read what I just wrote?’ ‘He was never captured!’ ‘It’s too dangerous,’ ‘Y/N, why aren’t you answering?’ ‘Oi~!’

Ryusuke glanced at you. “Better respond quick, the reception at the campsite is horrible. The last time I visited with my dad, our phones were useless until we got close to the city again.”

“Makes sense,” you murmured, relaying that information back to Marui before telling him not to worry. Satisfied, you put your phone on silent and slid it into your pocket before turning to Ryusuke. “So, what’s on the agenda?”

“Well, once we reach the trail, the campsite we’ll be staying at is a twenty-minute hike from the trail, but don’t worry, I know the woods like the back of my hand!” he grinned, explaining that he had been camping there with his family since he was a small child. “Once we reach the site, we need to set up the tent and start a fire. I brought some board games and some horror books, plus I borrowed my sister’s camera and brought some binoculars. The Brown-Eared Bulbul is pretty common at this site and they’re so adorable, I bet you’ll love them.”

You smiled as he started to go on about random bird facts, mostly about the Bulbul, but then branching out into other species you might come across over the weekend. Seeing how passionate he was about birds made you think of Niou and how passionate he was about tennis and then you cursed yourself for thinking about him again. You turned your gaze to the window, watching as the city slowly disappeared, giving way to a grouping of trees that seemed to stretch on for miles and miles.

If you were to be honest with yourself, you’d much rather be spending the weekend with Niou, no offense intended toward Ryusuke. He was a good friend and you enjoyed his company, but your feelings for Niou were far more intense and, lately, the two of you just hadn’t been spending much time together. ‘Maybe I should just let it go and tell him how I feel… he’s so stubborn, there’s no way he’ll ever give in.’

Your eyes slid closed as Ryusuke continued to rattle, his voice growing muffled as the movement of the bus lulled you to sleep.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

“Niou!” Marui burst into the silverette’s room without knocking, the door bouncing off the wall before hitting him in the face.

Awoken by the noise, Niou rubbed at his eyes as he slowly sat up. “What?”

Rubbing his red nose, Marui rushed farther into the room with a panicked expression. “It was true!”

Niou blinked, tiredly, glancing at the clock. Six in the morning on a Saturday was far too early to be dealing with this. “What?”

“The serial killer,” Marui stressed, shoving his phone in the male’s face. “I mentioned the fake story to my dad and he said there was a similar incident last year. I looked it up and it’s true!”

Niou took the phone from him, rubbing at his eyes to clear up his vision. On the phone was an article from around the same date last year, detailing the events of a madman in the woods. The location was the same area that you and Ryusuke had gone camping and the madman in question had killed an entire family, robbed them, and left them to rot in the woods. There were no leads on who he was or what fueled the attack. His heart skipped painfully in his chest.

The story was real.

Dropping the phone, he grabbed his own off the bedside table, quickly navigating to your name before pressing the call button. It went straight to voicemail.

Marui frowned, “I’ve been texting and calling Y/N all morning. I even got Ryusuke-san’s number from one of his friends, but his phone is going straight to voicemail, too! What if the madman got them?!”

Niou pinched the bridge of his nose, willing his heart to calm down. All he could think about was the possibility of you being hurt in the woods with no one around to help you. He threw the covers off and started to pull clothes from his closet. “I’m going to Shindo!”

“What? But there’s a killer out there!”

“Yeah, with my Y/N.”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Sun shone through the door of the tent which had been left half-zipped, birds chirping in the distance. You yawned, stretching your body out as best you could in the small space before crawling from the tent, squinting against the bright light of the sun. A thin mist covered the land before you, making it hard to see more than a few yards before you.

“Ryusuke?” you called out, straining your ears for any sound of him, but your only response was a curious chirp somewhere above you. You felt a pinch on your forehead and didn’t hesitate to slam your hand against your skin, wincing in pain. When you pulled your hand back, you found a mosquito squished against your palm and you made a face, quickly rubbing it on the shorts you wore.

Camping was pretty peaceful and relaxing, but the bugs you could live without, especially the mosquitos. You scowled, ‘Stupid things, do they ever sleep?’ “Oi, Ryusuke! Where are you?”

A few birds took flight from a nearby tree at your raised voice, but there was no sign of your friend. Where had he gone? With a shrug, you approached the tree across from the tint, carefully reaching up to untie the cooler from the branch – Ryusuke had sworn that it was best to put your things up in trees to keep them away from predators. Whether that was legit advice or not, you weren’t sure, but you were happy that the food had been untouched. You had been worried that, even in the tree, ants or flies would find their way inside, but the seal had not been breached by even the smallest of insect.

You set the cooler down by the firepit before plopping onto the ground, wincing when a stick dug into your ankle. Leaning your body to the side, you swept your hand under your leg to clear the debris before sitting upright again and turning to the fire. So far, Ryusuke had been the one to start the fire each time, but you had watched him close enough and, since he was currently missing in action, you needed to step up. Either that, or you’d just have to skip breakfast, something you were not prepared to do.

‘Okay, Y/N, you got this!’ You tried to recall what Ryusuke did. ‘First, I have to find that long piece of wood he used. I think he called it… a fireboard?’ Your eyes scanned the area around the firepit, looking for the board in question, but you didn’t see it. You carefully moved the leaves around with your hand, thinking it might have been buried by them, but it still wasn’t there. Had he taken it with him? But why would he do such a thing?

You frowned, pulling yourself to your feet and brushing the dirt from your hands. ‘Maybe I should try looking for him instead,’ you returned to the tent to grab your phone, checking for signal but, just as it had been since you left the city, there was none. Next, you grabbed a compass, a bottle of water, and picked the thickest branch you could find to use as a walking stick before slowly leaving the campground.

The sun was higher in the sky now, breaking through the leaves and beaming down on you like a spotlight. The fog had cleared, birds chirping loudly in every direction and, worst of all, mosquitos buzzing around everywhere you looked.

‘If I remember correctly, the river is… this way!’ You turned northeast and started to walk, leaves crunching under your boots as you went. You had only made it the length of four blocks when you noticed the sound of rustling in the bushes in front of you, making you pause for a moment before slowly creeping forward, thinking it could be a small, furry animal. The bushes parted quickly and you yelped in surprise, backpedaling too fast to keep your body upright.

What stepped out was quite furry, but it certainly wasn’t a small animal.

The thin man from the bus stared down at you with blank eyes, scratching at his thick beard. His fingers were dirty as if he had been digging with his hands, the nails bitten down to the quick. His clothes hung off him, clearly a couple sizes too big for his lithe frame, the fabric marred with large holes and tears.

You suddenly remembered the story Niou and Marui had told you and fear gripped your heart, but you quickly shook your head. ‘No, that’s ridiculous! He made that story up to scare me, that’s all.’ With an awkward smile, you pulled yourself to your feet. “You scared me! I thought you were a rabbit,”

“No,” he grunted blankly, his voice hoarse.

You cleared your throat. “Right… well… excuse me,” You tried to step past him but he grabbed your arm with a weak grip, bony fingers digging into your skin. “Do you… need help or something?” His eyes moved to the bottle of water peeking out from your pocket and his lips parted, but no words escaped. Cautiously, you pulled the bottle from your pocket and held it out to him.

The man’s gaze flicked to meet your eyes before returning to the bottle, his hand releasing your arm so he could take it from you. He fumbled with the cap for a moment before he was able to get it off, bringing the bottle to his lips. He nearly downed it in one go. He took a deep breath after pulling the bottle from his lips, “Thank you.”

You smiled warmly at him. “You’re welcome. Are you camping here?”

He shook his head, a leaf falling from his tangled hair. “No, I live here.”

“Oh,” Before you could say anything else, your name rang out in the air, startling a few birds nearby into taking flight. The voice sounded far away and familiar, and you assumed it was your camping buddy. “Over here, Ryusuke!”

“Y/N!” The voice was closer now, coming from behind you. You squinted against the sun as a figure appeared from the treeline.

You waved, standing on your toes to make yourself taller while glancing at the man. “Have you eaten? Once Ryusuke gets the fire going, I’m sure -”

“Y/N!” A rush of silver covered your vision. “Stay away from them, you murderer!”

“Niou?” you cried in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

He glared at the man, using his body as a shield between the two of you. “I won’t let you hurt them!”

“Niou!” You grabbed his shoulder when he made a move for the man, “He hasn’t done anything wrong,”

“Yet,” he scowled, not letting his teal eyes leave the man. “Are you crazy, Y/N? I tell you about a serial killer on the loose and you go anyway! And then you talk to a strange man in the woods!”

You scoffed, putting your hands on your hips. “I know you made that story up to convince me not to go on the trip.”

“Wait… you knew?” He sent you a surprised look before shaking his head and turning his gaze back to the man. “Okay, fine. I did make it up, but then Marui looked it up and the story is real.”

“It’s… real?” Your eyes widened, snapping to the man. Could it be? Could this homeless man be the lost serial killer from a year ago? The man in question had stopped paying attention, nursing the last of the water in the bottle. You were no expert, but the man didn’t seem like a killer to you. You moved closer to Niou, lowering your voice. “I don’t know, Niou, this guy seems pretty harmless.”

Whether he agreed or not, he didn’t say. His hand slipped into yours and, before you could say anything, he took off running, pulling you along behind him. You glanced over your shoulder, but the man was nowhere in sight, almost as if he had vanished into thin air. Niou didn’t stop running until he reached the campsite where Ryusuke sat in front of the fire, whistling happily as he made breakfast.

Hearing the two of you approach, he looked up with a smile. “Welcome back -” he paused when he saw Niou, his smile dropping. “What are you doing out here?”

“It’s… a long story,” you supplied, glancing at Niou. “Where have you been? You were gone when I woke up.”

“I went fishing!” He grinned, motioning toward the fish that were cooking on sticks above the fire. “The fish around here are most active during the morning,”

“That’s great, I’m starving!” You clapped your hands, sending a look to Niou, a silent plead for him to behave.

His eyes met yours, lips twitching upward. “Puri~”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

“I can’t believe you came all this way,” you mused as you walked down the street, Niou at your side, carrying your bag. The two of you had arrived back in the city twenty minutes earlier and had parted ways with Ryusuke, who lived in the opposite direction. The night sky was littered with stars, though they weren’t nearly as bright as they had been in the woods.

Niou sent you a smirk. “I couldn’t let you get murdered before you confess your undying love to me~”

“Really?” you deadpanned, coming to a stop. “And what makes you so damn sure I’m going to confess?”

“A psychic told me.”

“You’re unbelievable,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair.

“Puri~”

“And you’re also right.”

“Puri?”

You chuckled, stepping up to him so you could wrap your arms around his neck. “Masaharu Niou, I love you and want to be your partner, even if you are an infuriating little trickster.”

His grin rivaled that of the Cheshire cat as his hands found your waist, pulling you closer. “It’s about time,” Before you could retort, he silenced you with his lips.

Just as he had predicted, he had won the battle.

You smiled as you pulled back, slipping your hand into his as the two of you continued your trek home. ‘But the war��s only just begun~’

━━━━━━༻BONUS༺━━━━━━

Ryusuke peered around the brick fence, watching as you and Niou walked down the sidewalk hand in hand. He couldn’t help the frown that overtook his lips. “I still feel kinda guilty about all of this,”

A figure seemed to materialize beside him from the shadows, furiously scribbling in a little black leatherbound notebook. “I received some valuable data from this,”

Ryusuke sweatdropped. “Do you feel any guilt at all, Yanagi-san?”

“No,” he responded simply. “Let your uncle know he did an excellent job. I’ll inform my sister that he is worth the leading roll in her play.”

“Thank you so much!” the brunette bowed. “He’ll be super excited about the… oppor… tunity…”

Renji paused his writing, glancing up at the male. “Is something wrong? You’ve gone quite pale.”

“My uncle,” he squeaked in reply before turning tail and running like the devil himself was giving chase. “I left my uncle in the woods!!”

Renji watched the male until he disappeared in the distance before returning to his book and scribbling furiously once more. “Data,”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[minjoonalist]

If You Let Me. ii | KNJ 18+

Author: hey guys! This is a sequel(?) To If you let me. (m) . Honestly Idk what made me want to write this lol but I suggest reading that first to get a better understanding before this one. Or hopefully its good either way without it lol.

Previously- If You Let Me. [part one]

+++

Discription: for 4 long years- he kept his promise. There wasn’t a single moment you ever doubted his love for you. or so you thought …

Word count: 7.8k

Genre: angst, smut, fluff? (If you want it bad enough)

Pairing: Husband!Namjoon x Reader [ ft. tae and hobi]

Quote: “4 years ago today, I told you how deeply in love I am with you….how perfect you are for me. I promised you, that I would never make you feel like you werent enough….it seems I somehow managed to break that”

+++

11:02 am

A knock sounds gently on your door waking you from your hallow state. You stare at it blankly before mumbling the words ‘come in ‘ to your visitor.

“ Noona?” Taehyung, the boy that was like your close little brother whispers as soon as he opens your door. “ I know you’re mad at Joon hyung…b-but can I come in still?” He asked you nervously. You comment yes for the first time in a while and settle back against the headboard of your bed. you thought about telling him not to call you that like you usually did but, but did you really have the energy?

It had been four years. Four years since Namjoon had proposed to you, and promised you forever with him. four years since he broke down the tough wall your ex-fiancee kai had managed to build.

a sad smile came on your face and tears started to brim in your eyes.

you blinked , it seemed as if everything was feeling a little too familiar. you remember blinking back so many tears over kai and now it scared you to do the same for Joon. Tae , watching his beautiful noona with a sorrowed expression, walked into the semi-dark room and sat comfortably on your bed. “noona-”

“Tae pleeaasee… just call me y/n -okay?” you rub his shoulder. he nods gulping at the intimate gesture, it wasn’t that he was attracted to you- which of course he was. It was that, for the past few weeks since you’d kicked his best friend out of your house - you could barely manage to look at him nor hoseok either. he couldn’t blame you, of course you wouldn’t trust the two closest males to him- for all you knew they were part of the problem as well. but they stayed persistent, promising their Hyung to always look after you even while he was away..

your hand fell miserably from him and he gently took it in his. there was so much he wanted to say to you, but he was afraid he’d set your relationship back. he didn’t want you to hate him and think that he was just another guy trying to take up for his shitty friend.

but he wasn’t.

Tae wanted to take up for a great friend. the man who was also a great husband for you. while he didn’t know the full details of the situation, he also knew that it wasn’t anything you guys couldn’t fix.

you guys weren’t perfect, this isn’t the first time you and namjoon have had a falling out. it would usually end with him on your living room couch and you strutting torturously around him in his t-shirt with nothing else underneath.

it didn’t end with him gone in some random city, doing who knows what and possibly with some women better than you. “ would he even be wrong?” you thought bitterly to yourself.

your heart burned, because deep down, you knew this was all your fault. thats right, you ran him away. yelling at him, screaming angrily, disrespectfully pushing him out your front door without a single word, without even letting him speak. he didn’t fight, he didn't protest…it was almost like he’d given up. he hasn’t called you or texted - hell you don’t think he even took his phone with him.

what you knew for sure was that he didn’t want contact with you, and he definitely wasn’t thinking about you. he was still attending his lectures at the university. you knew because , you’d over hear his students still complaining about the impossible professor kim. two even walking over to you, the current owner of the bookstore , jokingly pleading to get him to go easier on them. it immediately reminded you about when you first officially talked and how everything fell into place from there. it seemed all so perfect, from the first text - to the friendship you built and even to the moment he kicked Kai’s ass for you.

you scoffed ironically. it was currently that exact same day that Kim namjoon had promised he’d never make you feel like you weren’t enough for him. that he would spend everyday making you forget the all the pain you felt before. it was also the first time you two confessed your feelings for one another. your stomach dropped sickeningly, and the pained lump in your throat swelled.

oh god here came the tears again.

you let out an ugly sob in front of Tae, finally crumbling with your guarded mood “ he p-promised… ”. those words fell desperately from your lips while your arms hugged yourself. Tae springs into action and pulls you into a comforting hug. you rest your head on his shoulder trying to calm your lost breath the deep pain that engulfed your entire being.

another knock sounds on your door and hoseok pokes his head inside. “ everything alright?, I heard YN-” he pauses at your broken state. his eyes widening then rushing to the other side of you on the bed. he looked at you with the same sorrow as Taehyung did before and you sniffed, sitting up. normally hobi never held anything else but a smile on his face which prompted you to say “ Everything’s fine, hoseok don’t worry” . you smile but it doesn’t reach your eyes. he notices, because he wasn’t stupid..

“ y/n….” hoseok starts, “ you don’t have to- ….its okay to say you miss him..he’s your husband after all” he says very gently. they were walking on eggshells around you, trying not to trigger another episode like they did last week. you breath in deeply “ but…does he miss me?”

“of course he does noona- …y/n. more than you know. just give him time” Tae tells you, still holding you close. “yeah, hyung just needs to think. He’d never leave you” hobi said rubbing your back assuringly.

The tears came back again from his words “ but he did leave me…” you cried all over again. Hoseok rolled both of his lips and closed his eyes cringing from his fuck up. Tae shook his head at him “ he means- while namjoon may not be here..right now. He’s not leavingyou, leaving you y/n. I don’t think that man can live without you” .

You looked up ,puffy eyed with a wet face. The sight of both your closest friends sitting close beside you trying to cheer you up. You were glad they stayed behind with you because honestly you didn’t have much else. Yeah there was your family and maybe your best girl friend-but they didn’t know Joon the way you, tae, and hoseok did.

“Can we do something?, I don’t want to sit here anymore.” You mumble and both of them sat there staring at you shocked. A couple of days ago you could barley look at the two- now you wanted to go out? They didn’t know if that was good or bad, but they sure as hell weren’t going to disagree with you.

They glanced at each other before Tae smiled and turned back towards you.

“Okay, what do you want to do?”

2:33 pm

“Remember when we agreed to this? Yeah I regret that.” Hoseok groaned and you walked up to them in another form fitting dress. “ what about this?” You beam , twirling confidently in the silver silk material. It hugged your body tightly, falling just above the middle of your thighs and exposed the majority of your back.

A blush appeared on the male next to him and Hoseok swallowed - because he was pretty sure he was suppose to be admiring just how good the dress looked, not how good your ass looked in it. “ it's very beautiful noona, my favorite one so far ” Tae smiled, making your mood brighten even more. You look over to hobi for his confirmation and saw the pained look on his face.

You frown “ do you not like it? ”. You ask turning around once again. “Oh..” He took a deep breath, he was never comfortable having any attraction towards you- not when you were his best friend's wife. “ no it looks really great YN . But don’t you think we could do something else maybe?…you know?…guy friendly?” he laughed nervously, avoiding any type of eye contact with you. you look back at tae ,finally noticing the slight pink tinge that graced his features and his clamped legs.

your eyes widened a bit and you immediately caught wind of his insinuation. a blush now performing on your face and you turn rushing back into your dressing room. you take a deep breathe changing your clothes slowly, to prolong the awkward situation that was to come. you usually did this with namjoon, you would love how his eyes roamed hungrily over you- even when he didn’t think the outfit was cute. it wouldn’t have been long before you found him, sneaking his way in just to rub his hands all over you. you’d kick him out of course…

“joonie please there children in here!..” you giggled, from the feel of his lips brushing up on your ticklish neck. that sly, dimpled, smile would appear and he’d shamelessly cup your ass in the expensive material . “ Bullshit- this dressing room is completely empty” not that he cared anyway.

you missed him…

“I can’t look at you, get the hell out namjoon…!”

You winced and a sad smile left your face. Once you're done changing ,you begin making your way back over to the boys when you stop just around the corner. you could’ve sworn you heard a gasp followed by…..

“ Joon Hyung- Hi!” you hear Tae exclaim in surprise and your body instinctively glues itself to the wall separating you from them. “hey joon, long time no hear” hoseok chirped brightly along with him. you couldn’t hear a response which only lead you to believe that he must’ve called them.

“h-how….how is she?” was the only words that he could let out. He sat on the floor of his unknown housing. staring blankly at the ceiling fan as it spun around. he told himself he wouldn’t do this, it was only torture knowing that you were all by yourself and he wasn’t there.

Tae glanced up at the presumably empty hall of the fitting room.

“ she really misses you hyung-”

“When are you coming back?” Hoseok interrupts. He frowns and on the end namjoon does the same. “Soon…I think” he sighs

“ I called about YN, I can’t give you the answers for me right now ” he said Redirecting the conversation back to you. He needed to know everything happening with you , were you happy? , Were you sad?, How often did you cry? ,Did you even cry? , you were eating right? , are you still reading the newest book series he recommended you? , did you really miss him? , do you still love him? .

These questions kept running his mind over and over everyday. And yeah maybe he was being a bit over dramatic- of course you still loved him. He just didn’t know if you would ever forgive him. He never explained to you what happened , just let you get angry and kick him out. It was better that way , had you found out the reason he’s yet to come back , you’d never let him leave.

He hated whenever you two fought. It always left such an awkward space and you both were never used to it. of course you would eventually make up in your own ways, but Namjoon just didn't like it and neither did you. He could only imagine your heart break when you didn’t see him the next morning. Hoseok and Taehyung calling him and pleading for him to comfort his wife since you wouldn’t let them. The only one he briefed about the situation he’s in, was hoseok. He would have told taehyung had it not been that he would have completely broken for you and spilled everything.

His best friends voice rung in his ear, bringing him out of his thoughts “Right, cause it's wrong for your friends to be worried about you. Ok” hobi retorted and before joon could answer “ shes doing better. She's finally talking to us again. She's actually laughing? And smiling? y’know cause of me and tae... we’re okay too by the way , thanks for asking.” He finished irritation clear in his voice.

Namjoon always found it funny, how happy and upbeat the man was at all times until you really got under his skin. And right now Namjoon found himself bone deep.

“ I know you're angry hoseok, believe me I am too but I don’t know how else to go about this.” He spoke calmly , even after his friend took a more disrespectful tone with him. He couldn’t blame him, Both of them- They both cared for you and were always ready to kick the next guy’s ass who broke your heart, or anyone who tried to hurt you for that matter. Even if it meant their very own best friend and Namjoon was grateful for that.

“ how about actually telling her the truth” Tae suddenly piped up. Taking both you, joon, and hoseok by surprise.

Tae wasn’t one to talk to his hyungs out of disrespect but right now He could tell both Joon and hoseok knew something that he didn’t . Tae didn’t want to believe that. but for whatever reason he hasn’t returned home to you, was much more than him getting angry from you assuming he cheated on you.

After realizing his sudden outburst his confidence shrunk just a bit “ I- I don’t know , what the hell is going with you, but you can't keep YN in the dark for this long. She deserves to know why her husband isn't around right now” he said into the phone and looked carefully at hoseok’s shocked expression.

“Tae…” Namjoon spoke.

“ you promised her.” He paused “ You told Noona that you would never make her feel the way she felt with kai and you’re right, because whatever you're doing it's making her feel worse Hyung” he mumbled the last part, already imagining how angry Namjoon must be from from his words. But he wasn’t , in fact it only made him sadder because maybe his best friend’s were right. Although, taehyung comparing his actions with Kai’s did sting more than the blonde intended them to.

“O-okay.” He said finally said a long awaited pause. “ I’ll talk to her just please give me a little more time, until then take care of her for me” he hung up before the both of them could protest. Namjoon got up from the floor- taking one more swig of the bottled alcohol before finding his coat and making his way out of the house.

Both Tae and hoseok sat in complete disbelief. “ you’re telling me everything when we leave” tae whispered to hoseok. all he could do was pierce his lips and nod in agreement. After a couple of minutes passed by , taehyung was starting to worry about you…

“ Noona! Are you almost ready?” Tae suddenly called out , startling you. Your heart quickening and you tried to fix yourself . You stepped around the corner meeting both the happy faces of taehyung and hoseok. Although those smiles didn’t last long when they noticed the stream of hot tears running out of your bloodshot eyes.

Oh fuck.

No….

They both thought. Hoseok gave tae a side glance before looking back to you. “ everything alright YN?” He asked cautiously. No… that's what you wanted to say, but instead you nod. “ yeah” you sniffed, suddenly picking at your fingers “ just feeling drained” you lied wiping them away. Without looking at the two , your figure walked straight pass them and out of the fitting room chamber. “ lets go get some coffee huh?” You smiled and they silently but warily followed you out of the store.

How could they have lied to you?

4:23 pm

Namjoon slowly made his entrance in the small cafe. His body tensing and his mood was anything but friendly. He didn't want to be there, and he didn't want to see the woman that was currently waiting all the way in the back for him. He spotted her, a newly cut bob , a pair of black shades, and a long black coat to match. Could she be anymore obvious?

“ You’re not doing anything wrong joon” he sighs muttering to himself.

He then made his way over and stood behind the seat in front of her. She looks up at him, or so he assumed behind those shades. “ you actually came?” She spoke , voice cracking just a little. She bit her lip , watching him hesitantly sit down and mumble “ why am I here?” . He didn’t have time for this , everything that was happening he just wanted to get it over with. The faster he gets this done the faster he could finally go back to you.

The woman looks at him and saw how miserable Namjoon looked.

“Are you just going to stare or are you going to start explaining yourself?” He rose a brow. She flinched a bit from his attitude “please I asked for your help because im trying to run from that kind of treatment Namjoon” she spoke softly and he immediately felt like crap. “ …im sorry Mina…its just, being away from YN so long kind of has me in a really bad mood lately” he looked down saddened.

YN.

She was well aware of your name, it was one her monster of a husband compared her to for years. It wasn’t long after the whole scene between you four at the movies, she found her husband speaking you up more often. Before he’d never mentioned you, only ever telling her that the last girl he dated just wasn't ‘wife material’ . She didn't know he was engaged and sure as hell didn’t know it was to you.

Over the years he’d gotten , angrier , colder, meaner and soon her love for him had died underneath all that. He regretted his actions towards you ,that she could tell. There were times where she would catch him on your online profile or even attempting to contact you through text only to delete it completely and then turn to drinking. Eventually his recent actions had ended aggressively towards her when she finally confronted him about it.

She filed for divorce and was now relying on Namjoon’s help in testifying against Kai. Why Namjoon? Well that was easy. First and foremost, because Kai hated him with a passion and why wouldn’t he?

He was in his place by your side, in kai’s head Namjoon had swooped in and stole you from him. Second because Namjoon was a number one witness to how much of an asshole his old friend is. And last but not least- because he was your husband. It was really you she wanted to talk to, but namjoon would never let that happen. Although Namjoon was completely sure you are in love with him and would never leave him for your ex, the last thing he needed was for you to be caught between that marriage.

So when Mina found herself faced with Namjoon at your apartment’s front door, she was a little more than disappointed.

“ you're not going to put YN in the middle of that” Namjoon scoffed in disbelief.

“I didn't ask you now did I?” Mina protested and crossed her arms. She turned on her heel ready to leave “ I’ll just come find her another time” she said walking away and Namjoon stood thinking for a good second before he thought of another solution. you weren't getting into that, not when you’ve already come so far. “…wait!” She stopped suddenly when he yelled for her to.

She turned back around arching a brow “If you really need a witness that bad Ill help- but you won’t tell anyone what I'm doing with you, especially not YN” he says finally, but there was another untold proposition waiting. She thinks for a second “ and what is it you want in return?” She finally asks. Namjoon frowns before a wicked glint appears in his eyes.

which lead the both of them there in the diner. Mina smiled at him sweetly, slightly adoring his devotion towards you. “ YN was smart falling in love with you over kai” she said softly.

“ she really dodged a bullet I can say that.” She sighs.

“... I didn’t really give her much of a choice” he chuckles and so does she,but bitterly. she then reaches for her glasses, taking them off.

Namjoon felt sorrow the second he saw the purple bruised flesh of her eye. “ You're a sweet girl Mina- you didn’t deserve how he treated you” he said quietly.

She just looks at him, swallowing all the anger and sadness she had inside “ isn't it funny?…I'm sure when YN saw us together, she probably wanted nothing but to rip my head off. Strange that at some point I wanted to do the same” she confessed tears brimming her eyes. namjoon however tensed a bit from words, his fists clenching and back stiffening. was she saying shes a threat to you?

Mina noticed and raised her hands up slightly “ listen ...yes at some point through my marriage . I wanted to hurt her. I wanted YN to disappear -to make him forget the girl that ‘broke his heart’… but it took me awhile to get that she wasn't the reason my marriage fell apart. My husband was.” A tear slipped out her eye and down her face.

Namjoon nodded understanding her pain. He knew what it felt like to love someone while their mind was filled with another. It's almost like what he went through with you over kai. He looked down at her fidgeting fingers, noticing that her ring was completely gone now. Oh how he hoped you would never do the same.

You.

that's what his mind kept going back to, even while he was talking to her. So Joon couldn’t help but ask what he’d come to hear this whole time “ Mina, please tell me ..did you-“

“Win?” She finished for him with a straight face and he gulped. “…yes, I did” she smiled brightly. the man had visibly sagged back in relief before standing up and hugging the girl so hard he nearly knocked her and her chair over.

She won!…which meant joon didn’t have to hide ...which meant he gets to see you-

“Joonie?”

5:12 pm

Maybe it was the way your body was visibly stiffened as you walk, maybe it was your fists being clutched tightly at your side, or maybe it was that you hadn't uttered a single word to the boys after leaving the store.

yup you were mad.

Although strangely you stayed calm and both tae and hoseok could tell it was just a matter of time before you exploded. all of you walked down the side of the streets when they finally decided to say something.

“ she heard us- you know she did” tae whispered low so that only hoseok could hear. Hoseok looked to the front of them watching your figure strut slow but passionately. “ you think I can’t see that Taehyung? You think im not currently pissing my pants for when shes going to go off on us?” Hoseok nearly exclaimed.

“The woman suggested to get coffee tae….she hates coffee-yah! ” he yelped, heart beating even faster once he notices you stop abruptly, you spoke with a dangerously low voice and your back turned to them “ you know it's one thing for you to notice im angry, it’s another for you to talk about it behind my back ``. both Tae and hoseok , brace themselves for what was about to come.

“ why? why didn’t you tell me you could get in contact with him?” you then asked.

hoseok started “ YN, he didn’t want us to tell you-”

“he? , what about me?… what about my feelings in this?. why did no one think I needed to know where the love of my life is hiding - or what he’s up to?” you turn towards them. rage like fire burning within your eyes as you go off “ Maybe I was right not to trust you two!… maybe I should have shut you out like I did before. I was so stupid to think you would understand me, that you would help me!” you finished yelling , while the two stood there letting you lay into them shamefully.

“ noona-”

you meet Tae with a stern look, giving him warning. for once he actually rolled his eyes towards you, which riddled you shocked “ YN, I know you’re mad- but you’re being unreasonable! that phone call was the first I received from Joon hyung since he left. I don't know anything happening with him or what he’s up to. I can be here for you , protecting you and trying to cheer you up but its not my job to fix the problem between you and him.” he sighed wearily.

hoseok nodded in agreement before stepping towards you and pulling you into a big hug. “ we love you YN, but you’ve got to understand that were just two bystanders, here to support Namjoon and you. if we didn’t understand , me and tae wouldn’t be taking turns staying over, making sure that you eat, or at least that you have someone around. we want to help, but we can’t do that if you don't trust us” he pulled back to see the same teary eyed YN he’d been used to seeing lately.

“So im overreacting? Is that what you're saying?” You ask in a small voice and not meeting hoseok’s eyes.

It was tae ‘s turn to step to you “ no , you have the right to be mad YN, maybe we’re just not the ones you should be angry at…” he commented. Hoseok looked at him, his eyes wide as ever. He couldn't tell what the hell hadn’t gotten into Taehyung lately. But in the meantime he did calm the situation.

After all that , the three of you had ditched the idea of coffee and decided to get you some ice-cream. You were making your way down the sidewalk when you glanced inside one of the shops you were passing. Your body halts and all the breath in your lungs had suddenly left you paralyzed.

Taehyung, not looking, had collided into you, while hoseok had only made a few more steps before noticing your state. “YN everything alright-?” Hoseok asked you, but you didn’t hear him. Everything was in slow motion and you turned making your way inside of the tiny cafe.

The sound of a screeching chair and the tall figure that was only mere feet away from you , is the only thing you could find yourself focusing on. You looked at him and realized how right Tae was, they weren’t who you were angry at. It was a married man in a cafe, hugging the same woman you’d caught him sneaking with a couple nights ago.

He looked- happy.Excited even. No doubt the woman was just telling him something he wanted to hear. His breathing was heavy and your heart sank when his dimpled smile disappeared the moment he noticed you behind him.

“Joonie?”

“Oh. Fuck” he clearly commented, mostly to himself before jumping away from the woman like she was fire. You scoff in hurt and take a step back as he tried to step toward you “ YN? ….what are you-?.. baby I promise you this isn’t what it looks like”.

“ don't bother promising anything when you can't keep them Namjoon” you spat immediately and He winced from hearing his full name come out your mouth.

No , he only liked when you called him Joonie.

You shake your head in disbelief, eyes landing back on the girl who now looked oddly familiar…

They widen and you can't help but look back to joon - tears immediately crashing down your face “ oh…you’ve got to be joking….” You say low at first, but when you reach closer to the similar details of her face- irony had smacked you right in yours.

“ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NAMJOON? MINA?!?” You yelled before clenching your teeth. you started towards him hands tightened when both boys grabbed your arms.

“YN STOP!”

“Noona please!”

tae and hoseok tried to calm you, they tried to bring you back down before you did something you’d regret. You shrugged the two boys off of you “both of you shut the hell up!” You sneered while speed walking over to your ‘husband’ .

Namjoon saw this and held up his hands in surrender to you “YN, listen to me-”

You were so angry you saw red and you weren’t thinking clearly. It was too late before you realized and you couldn't stop your right hand from connecting with Namjoon’s cheek. A loud smack rang throughout the coffee shop, causing everyone around to go silent.

“My ex-fiancee wasn’t enough , so you went after my husband?” You glared at her. You couldn’t believe you ever felt bad for her. Mina shrinks back from you a bit but her stare goes right back to the man in front of you.

Namjoon-stunned from the sudden assault looked back up at you for what felt like 10 regretful minutes. You’ve never put your hands on him.ever. Neither had he to you. So it didn’t shock you when you saw that his eyes began to water just a bit. What did shock you however was the cold look that took its place immediately.

Oh my god, what have you done? You thought to yourself. Your hands were suddenly shaky and you found yourself rambling on with excuses “Joon ...I-I…Im so sorry- I was just so angry!. I mean how could you choose her over me? After everything you knew I went through? Was I really not enough for you?…I could’ve been better ...you should have told me.” Your voice shook with every word and every sentence had only made Namjoon angrier.

God if you thought you were angry -it was nothing compared to how namjoon felt. He was livid, but he wasn’t going to show it here. No Namjoon wasn’t going to make more of a scene you had already caused.

So he didn’t. Instead he turned around to Mina, with a stoic expression plastered on his face. Mina herself gulped, because the last time she’d seen him so worked up he’d ended up Kicking her husband’s ass with only a few punches. Something even told her that not even you haven't seen your own husband as angry he is.

“I think our business here is done. I'm sorry you went through that, glad to help as much as I could.” He said to her through a emotionless voice.

Mina nodded, flashing a quick smile to him before landing her gaze back to you. You frowned and it only deepened when her stare turned icy, matching yours when joon turned away from her. She could only envy how lucky you were to have a man as amazing as him.

“Hoseok…Tae…” Namjoon called breaking both of their trances. They simultaneously answer him ‘yes’, avoiding any eye contact with you. “ you guys can head home” he starts and you flinch when his arm wraps gently around your waist to walk the both of you out of the cafe.

“I can handle it from here”

7:46 pm

“I can handle it from here”

Joon smiled down at you who was struggling to lock the store’s back door. You were in the middle of a mini-mental breakdown, when your husband appeared from upstairs and offered to take over. “ Joonie!” you greeted before blushing . “ I uh…couldn't get the door to close” you let out a nervous laugh and stepped back leaving a space for him to come between.

“ you have me come lock this for you all the time- I don't know how you still get nervous to ask” he chuckled before bracing his hands on one of the handles. His arms stiffened, pushing forward while pressuring the door inwards. He lifts it up just a bit and “ Ta-Da!….once again” Joon forces the door in place. “My big strong hero” you beam standing up on your toes, pecking the cute dimple on his cheek and then his lips.

The memory plays in your mind when you realize you weren’t in your bookstore and that that had been the last time a good moment happened between you two. instead you were currently seated in Namjoon’s car driving right past the very place. The silence wasn’t awkward, though it was anything but comfortable. Every now and then you would glance Over to your husband to find him glaring permanently down the road. His hands wrapped tightly around his steering wheel when he makes a left down an unfamiliar road.

You frown ,looking out your side to see stores and homes you’ve never passed before. You then look back over to your husband “ this isn’t our way home…” you say but each word got weak the moment his hard eyes looked your way. You swallowed, your stomach turning from the multiple emotions of your husband’s attitude. You cross your legs and suddenly your fingers looking very interesting. Okay now the silence was awkward and uncomfortable.

“Not going home” he muttered “ If we go home , those two will come bother us” . He then glanced at you eyes no longer livid but there was definitely another intimidating emotion within them “ I don’t want anyone interrupting us”

“Where are you taking me namjoon?” You asked nervously. You just couldn’t help it, normally you’d follow him anywhere -no hesitation and no questions. Albeit that was when you had trust for him and he was never this angry with you.

Namjoon himself , noticed this. he was used to whisking you off somewhere, always surprising you with little romantic dates or just small getaways and You’d sit peacefully beside him, smiling like crazy because you knew exactly what kind of evening was in store. But now you were timid , shrinking back the second he even looked your way. He doesn’t answer you, refusing to talk to you anymore than he already did and for the umpteenth time that evening your heart sunk in your chest.

Eventually, he pulls up to a new location and you do as he does, getting out of the car. You then follow him up a driveway and through a path of a comfortable white house. It wasn’t small but it also wasn't too big -a whole family could definitely live in it.

“Joon who’s house is this?” You ask ,stopping suddenly in your tracks. You’ve never seen or heard of this house before, but it was beautiful. You hadn’t even walked inside and you immediately fell in love with it. namjoon takes out his keys to open the door, ignoring your question. He unlocks it , standing aside patiently, in which you assumed it was for you to go in.

Its dark. All the lights were off you very faintly make out all the objects that was probably making up the living area. You noticed the picture sitting at a table near the big white couch on your left. You aim for it, Hands picking it up so gently and that's when the lights come on.

You gasp.

“Do you like it?” You suddenly hear your husband’s voice. You turn to him behind you , he stood leaning back on the door ,arms crossed, eyes not longer cold but warily hopeful.

“I-“ you look back down to the picture of you and him on your wedding day. It was you gazing up loving at him in your white wedding dress, while one of his hands cupped your cheek ready to kiss his bride. Your eyes began to water…

“I don’t know what's happening, why is our picture here?” You looked at him confused. What was he trying to do?

“4 years ago today, I told you how deeply in love I am with you ...how perfect you are for me. I promised you that I would never make you feel like you weren’t enough….it seems I somehow managed to break that” he bites his lip “ YN despite everything thats happened, I don't feel any different and I never did. You're still perfect to me… I didn’t cheat on you.”

Namjoon walks up to you but slowly “ this house is for us. I bought it about a year ago, these past few weeks I was here getting it furnished, but it's not the only reason I was gone” he finally reaches you grabbing both your hands in his and you hesitate a bit. He breathes “ Mina and Kai are divorced…a few weeks ago she came to ask you for help. You weren’t home so I told her no for you. Instead I took your place”

He saw you getting ready to protest but quickly explains his reason “ I didn’t want you in the middle of that. I don’t know if you remember but you were the one that was affected most by their marriage. I didn’t want all those years of you rebuilding yourself to go to waste if you got involved. So in return, I asked for her to help with the house - our house. Also…I just -I guess a little part of me was scared you’d pounce on the chance of kai being single again.”

And with that ,You rip hands away immediately “pounce on him?, namjoon why would I leave the perfect guy for the exact opposite?” You wanted to yell at him. You just couldn't understand how he could still feel like you would choose someone like kai over him. He looked down and for a good second he looked like he wanted to cry again. Your animosity towards him began to die down when he utters his next words.

“Im sorry but im not perfect YN- look what I did to you, I made you so sad that you don't trust me anymore, I made you so angry y-you actually hit me.” He said so low but you heard loud enough as if he yelled it. You shake your head ,regret and a lot of guilt flowing through you.

He blamed himself …for your ignorance.

“I shouldn’t have done that - no matter how angry I was - joonie I shouldn’t have hit you.” You walk up to him wrapping your arms around his waist while he stood still in your embrace, your head resting comfortably on his chest and you could hear how fast his heart was beating. Still just for you…

“I am so ...so sorry namjoon. I don't care if you cheat on me with 5 girls. I will never put my hands on you again. I was wrong, not you” your emotions poured out of you and you hoped he would forgive you.

“We were both wrong” he concluded, engulfing you in an even bigger hug than you were giving him. “And we’re both not perfect” you retorted. The both of you stood there, embracing long awaited warmth of each other.

“How long has it been since I’ve held you in my arms like this?” He mumbles with his cheek pressed to the top of your head.

“Too long…” you reply bitterly before looking up to his eyes. There is a slight pause just before his lips touch down gently to yours in a sweet kiss. At first there is no tongue, no aggressiveness- just a slow passion of finally having you all to himself again. When he feels you relax into him, he then deepens the kiss. hugging you tighter and letting out a long groan of satisfaction.

After nearly five minutes of making out , he pulls away from you, breathing heavily and leaving you in a euphoric daze. “ I want to start a family….” he huffs out and you snap back into reality immediately.

“W-what?” You swallow.

“ this house…I didn’t just get it because I wanted it for you and me YN. I.. wanted it for us and our kids” he looks around the room roaming over the cream colored walls and then back you.

The smile on his face then falters and you guessed it was because your’s was emotionless.

“YN? …babe please say something-“ he tries but you stop him.

“ no, no - just give me a second” you swallow once again to let your brain process everything this man was telling you. He bought this house for you, you and him, your family. A loving warmth grows in your heart when you remember the words he said to you 4 years ago.

“I can give you everything, if you let me”

“So let me get this straight. “ you started “You didn’t cheat on me, you bought this house, and you want little copies of us” you motioned between the two of you “-two adult fuck up-running around said house?” You nearly squeaked.

“Oh my god , you’re serious?” You say incredulously with a wry smile etched into your face.

Namjoon bites back his. “ im serious about everything I say when it comes to you YN” his hands fell on your hips and he pulls you closer, letting you feel just how serious he was.

And boy was he.

Your thighs instantly clamp together. Just the thought of him getting hard from the idea of you having his kids , makes you yourself wet. “So..when did you want to start?” You lick your lips , mouth suddenly feeling dry. The loving gaze he’d once had set on you turning into a dark one.

he leans in, making your faces only inches apart “Oh you know , anytime you want really. It could be next week…..tomorrow-” he pecks your lips , nipping at the bottom one before tugging on it between his own “right now” he says huskily, already backing up into what you assume was the white couch.

He falls back bringing you with him and you yelp before giggling in surprise. It doesn’t last long when he lifts your lips to his in heated kiss. You crawl up on him , straddling him so that your clothed heat pushes against his erection. He moans softly , already tugging on the bands of your pants impatiently.

You pulled back , reaching for his shirt and he sits up slightly to pull it over his head. Namjoon then falls back down running his hands up your thighs and finally reaching your shirt to do the same and then your bra. He brings you back into him , attacking you with his mouth, leading slowly down your neck. He stops just above where your shoulder connects and nearly pouts that the last mark has disappeared. Oh well he could change that…

He kisses the spot but only to suck on it hard , releasing a satisfied moan from you. “Joonie…” you breathed loudly, your hands run through his hair when his head dips lower repeating the same process down the valley of your breasts. The grip he has on your ass tightens and he didn’t think he could wait much longer.

Namjoon stands, his hands flying for the button of your jeans and you let him tug them gently down your legs along with your underwear. He pecks your inner thigh and you watch him breathless when he rises to undo his own. No matter how many times you had been together you always find yourself mesmerized whenever your husband’s thick length springs free from his briefs.

His body crashes into yours and before you could process what was happening - he’d already had you pinned down into the couch with him on top of you “ wait right here? On this couch?” You paused heart beating faster than before when it dawned on you just exactly where you and namjoon were about to try for a baby. “YN, its our house I can fuck you wherever I want” he chuckles but underneath his humor, you see how uncomfortably ready he was to continue.

He hadnt had sex in weeks so the last thing he needed was you asking him questions about your actions in a new area. “You sure the owner won't be mad at us?” You teased him , lifting your hips just a bit to nudge yourself on him. He exhales dipping his hips for more pressure “he insists” he says finally.

“ okay” you whisper before parting your thighs wider for him . He braces one hand by your head , kissing you slowly while his cock begins to slide into you the same. He stretches you, filling your pussy all the way even surpassing your g spot and your back arches “y-yes, god yes!” you cry out in pleasure while his hips pull back before snapping harshly into you. He repeats this multiple times , pulling out all the way before fucking deep into you with one swift motion. Each stroke gave you so much pleasure and each one taking your breath away.

This was when you realized he was making love to you. Taking his time to show you just how much he missed you .“ I promise I’ll never stay away that long again baby- fuuck- you feel even better than before” he praises you , landing another powerful thrust and you head flys back. “Angh….joon…angh deeper please!” you begged him , hips bucking to his trying to coax him into going a bit fast . But he doesn't - he continues to take slow controlled thrusts- even lifting your left leg during the process.

This goes on for a while and you could feel your release ready to hit you any moment. Namjoon could tell you were close and so was he. He swirled his hips stroking just a bit faster to feel your legs begin to shake and your tight walls clamp around him. “ Joon -oh …faster!” You writhed under him needing the friction.

“ fuck me faster please -im so close…..so so close!” Your head shoots for the crook of his neck when the familiar sweet burn erupts from pit of your core and fires all over your body. It shakes you and you buck uncontrollably while your eyes roll back in pleasure. Your nails digging deep into his shoulder blades and namjoon thrusts a few more times before his equally as powerful release shoots into you at an alarming rate.

“Fuck YN !, fuck baby I love you so much” he breathes, finally collapsing on top of you from the most intense orgasms you’d ever had. He slips out of you and you whimper “I love you too joonie”

he stays resting between your legs. It feels like hours go by with the both you lying peacefully still and exhausted by each other. Namjoon’s head lays comfortably on your bare chest when he speaks “ if we have a girl…I hope she looks just like you” he mumbled. You smile and you heart flutters the man’s words . You thought if you had a son you did want him to just take his father’s looks.

“ If we have a boy…I hope he’s just as perfect as you”

[movedvalkyriesryde]

Place Your Bets 5/?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Money is on the line and the months are counting down so who will win in the bet to when Bucky and Y/N finally get together? And will they figure out what’s exactly going on

Warnings: Swears probably lol its just a lil bit of fluff in between the angst

A/N: So I’m not working Wednesdays anymore which sucks but it means that my writing schedule has opened a bit so y’all get part five early yayyy

Word Count: 1,950

Masterlist

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“You ready to lose old man?” Sam nudged Steve’s shoulder as they walked down the hall away from the lounge.

“I still have a week Sam” Steve scoffed. He was so close, he knew something was going on. Bucky had told him about the bathroom incident, told him about his drunken dream. Bucky had even told Steve, with no pushing from Steve might I add, that he was going to tell her how he felt soon. Steve was supportive of his friend, he didn’t push him to tell her, he didn’t suggest anything, he knew the rules and he was going to win fair and square, but his time was running out. 

“Yea but nothing has happened for the last two weeks” Sam leaned against the door frame to his room as Steve stopped in the hall. “Face it, you’ve lost.” Sam raised his hands before retreating into his bedroom before Steve could reply. Not yet.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Y/N tossed in her bed, 11:45pm it read on her phone and she was wide awake. Sleep wasn’t going to be a happening thing tonight. There were several things keeping Y/N up tonight, one of them was the fact that in fifteen minutes it was her birthday and tomorrow night the entire team will be having a get together in the compound to celebrate. She didn’t want a party, she never asked for a party, no one had asked her for the party, but it was happening and Y/N was dreading being the centre of attention for the entire night. 

Another thing that plagued her mind this late at night was Bucky. After the events of the previous week she knew he mustn’t know what had happened in his drunken state. Everything was normal, or as normal as things normally were, actually, maybe they were less normal. Bucky seemed to walk out of the room less often when she came in, he even sat next to her at breakfast the other day. They didn’t speak, nothing more than a small good morning nod, but he sat next to her and even that was odd behaviour. She didn’t miss the raised eyebrows from Clint or Sam nudging Steve. She tried to ignore it though. 

He didn’t remember kissing her, he didn’t remember her taking him to his room, he said that himself, not to her but he still said it. Maybe he’s just had a change of heart or got a telling off that he has to be nicer. 

11:48pm. The other thing that plagued Y/N’s mind was the fact that this stupid pillow isn’t comfortable and why is the duvet all twisted up!

With a huff she got out of bed and threw a sweatshirt over her pyjamas. Maybe a walk and some TV will help, she thought. She walked through the dining room and slowly pulled open the sliding door that led into the lounge, she heard the TV going, thankful she wasn’t the only one up, until she saw Bucky sprawled out on the two-seater at the other side of the room watching the TV...and no one else. 

11:54pm.

“Hey” he turned his head as soon as she spoke and sat up straighter against the back of the seat, his legs swinging round.

“Uh hey”

“Is it okay if I join you?” She walked over to the larger couch, he nodded and she took a seat at the end, not wanting to get too close to him, scared that it might scare him off.

11:56pm.

“Its your birthday tomorrow isn’t it?” He turned towards her again as she nodded, a small yup with a popping p. “Excited?” he asked.

“Not really,” she let out a small chuckle and looked at him, he raised an eyebrow urging her to continue. “Would much prefer to just have a movie night than a big party. It’s fine though.” She shrugged her shoulders before turning back to the TV. Bucky nodded slowly and hummed before turning his attention back as well.

11:58pm. 

Bucky rose from his said and walked out of the lounge without a word. It was nice while it lasted Y/N thought to herself. The conversation they had shared had been the longest they’d shared in a while now. It was nice, talking to him, it seemed like he was genuinely interested in what she had to say. Y/N leaned back further into the cushion, baby steps.

Bucky strode into the kitchen like his life depended on it, he had an idea. Bucky prided himself in being a good friend, he was constantly making sure that everyone was happy and got what they wanted. It’s why he writes two different kinds of yogurt on the shopping list so Bruce and Steve each have what they like, it’s why he takes his time every morning getting ready for his morning run because he knows Sam likes to sleep in a little each morning. It’s also why he’s sneaking into the fridge and rearranging the cupcakes that Natasha and Bruce had spent half the day baking for the party tomorrow so it didn’t look like one was missing. 

He’d been trying for the past week, he really had, he was trying to show Y/N that he was open to being her friend. Baby steps he had told Steve, get to know her first he said, then he can see if she might ever feel the same way. Steve had almost smacked Bucky at that but grudgingly let it slide. 

He pulled out the small candle from the draw and stuck it into the frosting of the cupcake, lighting it with one of the matches he’d found in the draw. Before walking back into the lounge Bucky checked his phone, midnight, perfect timing. He walked in and sat on the couch next to Y/N she eyed him as he uncovered the candle and handed her the cupcake. 

“Happy birthday” he simply said, she stared at him with her mouth agape not saying a word. Bucky started to panic, maybe this was too much too fast, maybe this isn’t what she wanted. “I just uh- I thought maybe you could have two birthdays” he brushed the hair back from his face, he could see the small smile on her own and it made me relax, “one for you and one for them.”

“Thank you,” she was beaming now, looking at the cupcake in her hands, Bucky couldn’t help his own smile as he watched her close her eyes and blow out the candle. Everything she did he just found so adorable. “Here” Y/N broke the cupcake in half and handed Bucky a piece, he hesitated slightly but they looked so good how could he resist. He took the cupcake, giving her a thanking smile. 

“Did you make a wish?” he mumbled licking the remaining frosting from his fingers. 

“Course” she smiled sweetly at him before darting her eyes back to her lap and up the television.

“What did you wish for?” Bucky didn’t know what had come over him, he wasn’t normally a talker, he never really asked the questions. Normally he was the one having to answer them with small sentences but this wasn’t Bucky’s normal. This was a now or never moment, it was his opportunity to get to know the girl he had been pining over for so long now. His entire body was itching just to know what was going on in her head.

“If I tell you it won’t come true.” The smile stayed on her face but she never diverted from the television. Bucky leaned his head against the back of the couch and bit his lip while he watched her. 

“I won’t tell,” he lowered his voice, “and you get another wish tomorrow night anyway.”

“It’s stupid” he wanted to know so bad what she wished for, maybe he could make it happen and even if he couldn’t he just wanted to know. 

“I won’t laugh.”

“Fine,” she looked down at her hands as they pulled and scrunched up her jersey, “I wished the guy I like liked me back” her head turned to face him, Y/N’s smile was gone, there was only sadness in her eyes, desperation. “See, stupid.” She turned back to the television and turned the volume up, she didn’t like that he could get the truth out of her so easily. She should have said something like world peace, but no, she couldn’t lie to him. Bastard. 

Bucky stayed quiet, he didn’t laugh, he didn’t say anything either. His now or never was over and it was written in cold hard stone and thrown at him, never. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Do you think it’s over?” Clint looked at Sam, the two stood in the doorway of the lounge.

“Can’t know for sure but I’d say no” Sam answered, he took his phone out of his pocket and took a photo of the sight before them. Bucky and Y/N leaned against each other on the couch, a blanket each and their heads over one another. The TV was still on but now it was playing the morning news since Clint had changed the channel. 

Sam’s phone pinged causing Bucky to stir as he came out of his slumber. The two men ducked out of the room before being caught. They ran into the kitchen to join Steve.

“What do you think Cap’n?” Sam smirked over his coffee.

“You still have seven days to wait Sammy boy” he didn’t even look up from his paper. 

Bucky rubbed his eyes and groaned, he hated falling asleep on the couch. It always made his neck hurt and more often than not he woke up with something drawn on his face. This time he didn’t wake up with a knot in his neck though, he looked down at his makeshift pillow on his shoulder and saw Y/N still sound asleep against him. 

“Dammit” he mumbled as he carefully lifted himself off of the couch. Y/N snuggled herself closer into the couch, pulling her knees up closer. Bucky pulled pulled her blanket further and then stepped back. He took a deep breath, a sigh came out before he moved towards the kitchen to find Steve reading a newspaper and Clint and Sam laughing over the counter at something on his phone.

“Mornin’” he mumbled moving towards the coffee mug. Steve looked up and slowly slid his phone back into his pocket, he offered Bucky a smile.

“Ready for our run” Steve chugged the last of his coffee and stood from his seat. Bucky chugged his own drink and nodded. 

“I gotta get changed” he spoke more to himself than anyone else. To tell the truth Bucky didn’t want to go for a run even though he knew it was what he needed. All he wanted to do was sit on his couch in his own room and wallow in his sadness because right now his heart was breaking. She liked someone and it wasn’t him, of course it wasn’t. Who the hell would like him let alone her!? He wasn’t about to tell anyone about his night though, he wasn’t going to tell anyone what she said about her birthday and he had made a promise not to tell anyone her wish. Their night together was going to stay his secret.

“Buck! You ready?” Steve knocked loudly on his bedroom door as Bucky pulled the shirt over his head and moved to yank open the door. 

“Be patient fucking hell” he grumbled and walked past Steve who rolled his eyes and followed. Bucky wasn’t a morning person. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine

Taglist (open): @little-brown-foxx @ibookishqueen @jacelynenursalim @buckyos @marcelaverzani @winters-history @happywobble @allonszassbutt @wiplop @pantamemes @emotionallysalty @jsmith509 @acf2510 @ashleyhearto

and a big thank you for reading! Let me know what you think and requests are open!

[drawlfoy]

Faux Diplomacy p.2

pairing: draco x mugglebornslytherinilvernmornyfem!reader (a mouthful i’m so sorry)

request: nah i’ve always always wanted to write this

warnings: draco malfoy being a class A dickwad, swearing

summary: reader is an ilvermorny student who was given an opportunity to travel abroad and spend a year at Hogwarts. At first she’s thrilled, but things start to get weird--why is everyone on the trip muggleborn? why were they all put into slytherin, no questions asked? and what is that draco malfoy kid doing? takes place during 6th year so peak angst

a/n: i apologize for the fact that i’m clearly favoring this story over Sound of....Magic? but it’s mostly because i’m writing what i know and i don’t know how to adult lol. also i hope you’re enjoying the slowburn! we might hate draco a little bit but i swear i’ll mend it soon!

music recs: i have a writing playlist specifically for this fic that i might share one day

word count: 2,240

The door was hard under Y/N’s fist, something that she should’ve guessed but the fact of which still managed to surprise her. Maybe she was more intoxicated than she originally assumed.

She knocked four times, slowly but loudly enough for anyone awake to hear her. The last thing she wanted to deal with was an angry racist. 

Three seconds passed by, each little mississippi begging her to run the other way before the door opened. She prayed that he was gone or at least deep in sleep. There was no telling what he’d do if he saw her. He couldn’t kill her, at least, but there were hundreds of other things that could happen to her if he was evil enough.

Her worst fear came true as the door flung open, revealing a very disgruntled and very pissed Draco. His pale hair was tousled with some pieces hanging in front of his forehead, breaking Y/N’s conception of his perfectly kept hair.

“What on earth do you want?” He hissed, his eyes burning with an intense emotion that Y/N couldn’t quite put a finger on. 

Y/N suddenly felt very silly standing outside his room with an outfit to rival Cher from Clueless as she took in his slightly rumpled silk suit. He was doing whatever important job he seemed so focused on while she was trying to get him to come out and join a party he was so clearly avoiding.

“Um,” she began rather lamely.

“Um,” Draco repeated back in a nasal voice clearly meant to mock her accent.

“Pansy uh..she wanted you to come out. It was a stupid game of truth or dare and she slipped Veritaserum into my drink so I can’t lie and say I did it when I didn’t-”

“You do realize that’s complete bullshit, right?” Draco interrupted. “The Veritaserum? Do you seriously believe that Snape would let us get out hands on that? First years fall for that every year. First time I’ve seen anyone over 12 believe it, though.”

Y/N’s cheeks grew hot as she realized he was probably completely right. Now that she actually thought about it, she couldn’t guess how Pansy could get her hands on something that dangerous much less spike drinks with it. 

“Oh. I guess that makes sense.”

Draco nodded with an “uh, yeah” look in his eyes and made his way to slam the door in his face when a glimmer caught her eye.

In her inebriated state, she told him point-blank, “Cool necklace. Who’s it for?”

Draco froze as he turned to look at his bed, the same one that had a very ornate necklace laying on it. He slowly turned back to Y/N with a terrifying expression on his face. 

Uh oh.

He grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and dragged her inside his room, slamming the door shut behind her and shoving her against the wall.

“What the fuck dude-”

“What’s your allegiance?” he hissed, stepping in her eyeline so she couldn’t see the necklace anymore. Their proximity was uncomfortably close. Y/N could smell peppermint on his breath, no doubt remnants of a cup of tea he’d had earlier.

“My allegiance.....sheesh, I don’t know, I don’t know where I fall on the political spectrum, but I am really frustrated with the Senate for impeding any type of impeachment proceed-”

“No, you bloody idiot!” He cut in again. “I mean in the wizarding world. Not.. whatever the fuck you’re going on about.”

“Oh, you mean like... the issue with Death Eaters and everything? I dunno, I haven’t read enough about British politics to know but it’s so ridiculous, y’know? Like, someday all of them are gonna wake up and realize they’ve been drinking the Kool-Aid and that they’re never gonna get rewarded the way the think. It’s really sad, they’re basically in a cult.”

Draco stared at her with wide eyes and a defensive expression on his face. He was still gripping both of her wrists in one hand, pinning them above Y/N’s head and making it impossible for her to weasel out of his grasp.

“I mean, pretty general stuff. American wizarding media is always like, ‘look at these idiots thinking that they’re gonna restore blood purity, aren’t they crazy? BLESS the fact that we left in 1776’ and whatnot. I don’t know, we all kind of chuckle at it and make memes about the fact that there’s even people out there that still buy into that shi...”

Y/N’s eyes managed to catch a quidditch uniform hung up on the bedpost with the name MALFOY printed across the back in silver letters. Suddenly it all made sense--she had just read about his father being incarcerated for being a Death Eater. She trailed off when the realization set in.

Oh no. 

“You know, with that thought, I think I’m just gonna go back to the party...I normally don’t get this political. Forget I said anything. Please!”

Draco’s face was the definition of fury. Now that Y/N knew he was Lucius Malfoy’s son, she had no clue what he could be capable of. She briefly wondered if he would kill her before immediately casting the thought aside.

That’d be absurd she reminded herself. He’s still just a teenager, just like you. He’s not gonna kill you.

He took a few moments to glare down at her before opening the door and pushing her out.

“You’re never speaking of this to anyone,” he snapped. “Go back to your party and fall for more of the pranks we like to pull on 11 year olds. Just don’t ever come back here. I mean it. Don’t ever.”

With that, Draco slammed the door in her face. Y/N stood in front of it for a few seconds as she regained her bearings. What had just happened? She was very tired, she realized suddenly. 

She was just turning around and walking away when his door cracked open just an inch. 

“Are you deaf? I said, go!”

Y/N turned to send Draco a dirty look before walking away for real. 

♥♥♥♥

Professor McGonagall was a complete sweetheart and the embodiment of what an empowered witch ought to be, but she had messed up one crucial point when it came to just how dining space would be available for the Slytherin table.

With all the new students, there was rarely a portion of the table empty enough to sit alone or even with a respectable amount of space between oneself and another person. 

Y/N suffered the consequences of this the most out of her classmates considering the fact that she was always late. By the time that she got to the Dining Hall for any meal, there was only one part of the table that was consistently open--spots next to Draco and his goons.

The rest of the house was wise enough to know to avoid them and did so well, but Y/N was not so lucky. Nearly every day she was forced to squeeze in next to either Draco, Pansy, or Blaise and was subject to listening to whatever drabble they wanted to discuss each day.

However annoyed she was, she couldn’t help but notice some interesting changes. As the fall days grew shorter, Draco’s appetite seemed to grow smaller. At one point, Y/N was taking portions nearly twice the size of his, and she was a rather light eater to begin with. She heard his irritatingly posh accent less and less, and slowly meals turned into conversations between Blaise and Pansy while Draco stared off into space. 

One of these days, Blaise turned to look Y/N straight in the eye, startling her enough to near drop her fork. They never looked at her.

“So,” he began awkwardly. “I hear that you played Quidditch as a seeker while you were at Ilvermorny.”

“Yeah, and what about it?” 

Y/N was not about to take any shit.

“Well, you see,” Blaise told her, a sincere look in his eyes, “Draco here is our seeker, and he’s a little busy, so he won’t be joining us this season.”

“Tragic.”

“And you were good, right? Like, really good? I saw your record. It was impressive.”

“Thanks. I didn’t suck.”

A tiny smile cracked on Pansy’s face. Had Y/N actually amused her?

“Okay, enough of the niceties,” she cut in. “Blaise wants you to play for us. Please?”

She batted her eyelashes in a way that Y/N prayed was ironic. 

“Well, I suppose,” Y/N answered. “What’s in it for me?”

“For starters,” Blaise told her, “Instant status. People like you if you play Quidditch.”

“So I’ve heard. Is that why Draco dropped out? People didn’t like him enough anymore?”

“You shut up,” Draco grumbled, refusing to look her in the eye.

“So you’re in?”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m dropping out the second either of you mess with me, though.”

Blaise grinned and Pansy kicked his foot under the table. Y/N immediately felt like she was witnessing something that she was not supposed to see.

“Get a room, you two,” Draco reprimanded them, rolling his eyes as he pushed his food around on his plate. 

♥♥♥♥

Y/N’s first Quidditch match came and went. The Slytherin team creamed the Hufflepuffs so badly that Y/N probably didn’t need to do any work at all, but regardless, she still caught the snitch. 

In Slytherin fashion, her team decided to throw a giant party in the common room. Everyone was permitted a plus one, which was ridiculous since Y/N wasn’t friends with anyone from any other houses. She jokingly extended the invite to Bella in a very dramatic gesture with roses and everything, and her best friend just as dramatically accepted, leaping into Y/N’s arms and requesting that she be carried away.

It was the biggest scene the dining hall had witnessed all year, enough so that when the news of Katie Bell being cursed and nearly killed broke, it took the dining hall a few moments to calm down. 

Everyone stared as Dumbledore addressed the student body.

“Students.” He cleared his throat wearily. “If you are not already aware, one of your fellow scholars has been cursed, presumably by a necklace that was gifted to her. Please do practice caution as you accept gifts going into the holiday season. These are dark times indeed.”

Nervous chatter filled the room back up with noise but did not distract Y/N from her pondering.

A cursed...necklace? Where had she heard that before?

♥♥♥♥

Y/N was never a perfect student, but she did enjoy potions and especially appreciated Slughorn’s teachings, so much so in fact that she was invited to join the Slug Club after a few weeks of classes.

Blaise was also there, and the two often sat together and joked about the overenthusiastic Gryffindors and the unresolved sexual tension between Harry and Ginny. It was hardly a secret that the two were into each other, but it seemed that the only people who weren’t aware of it were Ginny and Harry themselves.

“Pray for Dean, Y/N,” Blaise would often whisper to her as they observed the two flirt awkwardly with each other. 

The budding friendship between them was odd, but very platonic. Y/N knew he had no trouble excusing prejudice considering the fact that he put up with Draco’s nonsense, but he seemed to see some flaws in the practice.

The most shocking part of their newfound connection happened to be what Blaise confided in her about Draco. 

“He’s hardly sleeping anymore,” he told her one cold winter day. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s lost weight and he’s not talking to me. Have you heard anything?”

“No,” Y/N had told him. “Draco doesn’t particularly like me.”

♥♥♥♥

After a particularly energetic Quidditch party in December, Y/N exited the common room and decided she wanted to take a walk about the castle to clear her head.

The snow fell softly outside the window, flurrying about and blanketing the ground in a gentle pristine white. She climbed the stairs of a random tower slowly, savoring the brisk air and relishing the silence that came along with it. 

Y/N wasn’t the least bit afraid of getting reprimanded for curfew--she deserved a break, and she was nearly an adult, for Christ’s sake. There was less underage drinking outside than there was inside her current common room, so she could always pull that argument.

She prayed that the top of the tower would be one with an open side so she could be closer to the snowstorm, and as she climbed  higher, her desires seemed to be more likely. The breeze was becoming chillier by the second.

Reaching the top of the staircase, she was overjoyed to see a railing overlooking the campus. Y/N jogged up to the barrier, leaning over the edge and taking solace in the freezing air and the cold snowflakes coating her hair. 

“What’s it with you and your insistence on interrupting my alone time?”

Y/N turned to see Draco Malfoy curled up in the corner of the tower. His hair was slightly mussed from the wind and his suit crinkled from sitting down, and as Y/N drew closer to him, she came to the most shocking revelation.

His silver eyes were pools of salty liquid, rimmed red at the edges and puffier than she had ever seen them before. His cheeks were shining with dampness, doing nothing to hide the dark bags under his eyes.

Draco was crying. 

final a/n: i swear a new update will come soon! i’m sorry that it seems like i might be rushing it. i promise im gonna slow it down a little and focus on the *subtle* fluff

[sparklingskz]

across the world | lee felix

▸ anon requested: Can you write an enemies to lovers au with Felix?

▸ genre: fluff, angst, enemies to friends to lovers lol

▸  pairing: reader x felix

▸ description: you and felix were best friends, suddenly you move across the world and things end badly. Now you’re back, and moving across him.

▸ word count: 3.5k

▸ warnings: swearing, alcohol

▸  a/n: thank you for requesting!! this one’s a bit longer uwu btw I’m almost sure this is gender neutral but if something slipped please tell me!!

“Felix? Is that you?” you said in a surprised tone.

The man in question was standing by his door, keys in hand ready to unlock it. He was the same boy you remembered, only with more freckles and with light brown hair instead of the dark shade he sported in school. However, his expression exuded coldness towards you, not the welcoming gaze you were used to seeing in him.

Felix and you were the absolute best friends in high school. Of course, each of you had a small group of other friends, but neither of you were as close with them as you were with each other. You met in 10th grade, when you were assigned partners during a class you both hated, and bonded over that. You were inseparable since that moment; you shared secrets, did a lot of stuff together and partnered in class all the time.

Along the way, you don’t know exactly when, you noticed you had a tiny crush on Felix. Just a teeny tiny crush, which you would bury deep inside of you and never act on it as to not ruin your friendship. You never changed your attitude towards the boy as to not expose yourself, but always, in the back of your mind, was this voice freaking out over the tiniest of touches, smallest of smiles and the lock of your gazes.

That way the last year of high school came around, and your school had a tradition of setting up a dance during the last day of school, to celebrate the end of another year. People often went to the dance with a partner or with a group of friends, and, in all honestly, you didn’t know who you would be going with.

Of course, your first thought was Felix. Would it be weird? Would he discover you had a crush on him if you asked him to go to the dance with you? He hadn’t commented anything about the dance around you, so you didn’t know if he was going with someone either. That was until you overheard one of your classmates talking in the hallway.

“Yeah, I’m probably going with Felix to the dance. It’s going to be so much fun!”

Then and there, your heart broke just a little bit. You continued walking, desperate to just get to your next class and forget about the stupid dance.

You were in your seat, taking out your notes when you feel someone tap your shoulder. You turned around and saw Hyunjin, one of the boys from your friend group.

“Hey y/n, do you have a partner for the dance?” He said while smiling.

“Nope.” You answered, emphasizing on the “p”.

“Not going with Felix?” He inquired, tilting his head.

“Apparently not.” You sighed.

He thought for a second. “Well, how about we go together? In a super friendly way, of course.”

You pondered your options. Showing up at the dance alone while Felix was having fun with his partner, or go with Hyunjin, who was your friend and a super cool guy to spend time with? You’ll take the second one, please.

“Okay, I don’t see why not.” You said while throwing a smile in his direction.

“Cool, I’ll text you the details.” He said just when the teacher entered the classroom, and you turned around in your seat to face the front.

You wouldn’t let a stupid crush defeat you.

While the days until the dance decreased Felix still hadn’t said anything about his partner, so you didn’t mention you were going with Hyunjin. That was until the day before the dance, when he was hanging out in your house and he brought it up.

“Hey, what time should I pick you up to go to the dance?” he said nonchalantly.

You froze. “Uh, what do you mean?”

“What I just said?” He said in a “duh” tone.

“We’re going together?” You inquired.

“I assumed so? We’re best friends.” He said as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Hyunjin invited me, so I’m going with him.” You said, almost dreading his reaction.

Felix just looked at you, and suddenly stood up. “I’m going home.” He picked up his stuff and headed for the door.

“Hey! Felix, wait!” You said. “Why are you so mad? I thought you already had a partner!”

“No, y/n. I was always thinking of you. Have fun with Hyunjin.” He said before closing the door behind him, and you felt that he took your heart with him.

The day of the dance, you and Felix ignored each other the whole time. You tried to not think about him and have some fun with Hyunjin, but every time you seemed to forget you saw the freckled boy standing there with his friends, or dancing.

What you felt the worst about was one thing, though. You hadn’t told him about an important detail in your life, because you were waiting to do it at your house the day before the dance, but he left angrily.

You were going to attend college in America, not in Australia.

You didn’t want to leave without talking to Felix, so you approached him before the dance ended. It didn’t matter if he was mad at you, he was probably going to be even madder now.

“Um, Felix?” You said cautiously.

He turned around. “What?” You almost flinched at the coldness of his tone.

“I need to tell you something, and I’m so sorry for leaving it for the last minute.” You took a deep breath. “I’m leaving Australia in a few days, I’m attending college in America.”

You saw the flash of confusion and hurt in his eyes. “And you’re telling me now?” he emphasized the last word. “I thought we were best friends, y/n. Best friends who told each other everything. Now you couldn’t even tell me you were going to a whole different continent? I was hoping we’d still be able to talk and see each other, even if we were in different colleges! Now you’re going to be away for years!” he said angrily.

“We can still talk-“

“I don’t want to talk with you.” He interrupted, and left.

A few days later, you flew to America and went to college there. You really liked your campus, you made plenty of friends but you missed good old Australia. That’s why, four years later, you returned to your country, having finished your studies and graduated.

A few days after you came back, you had found and rented a cute one bedroom apartment (with a bit of your parent’s help, of course) that was close to your new job, and had just finished moving in when it happened.

You hadn’t seen or talked to Felix since you fought at the dance all those years ago. That was, until now.

You were leaving your apartment to do some grocery shopping, when you saw your neighbor just about to open his door. This was your first time meeting him and he looked about your age, so you wanted to make a good first impression.

“Hi, I’m your new neighbor, y/n.” You introduced yourself.

The boy turned around, and was about to answer when he froze.

You froze too.

“Felix? Is that you?” Hesitance was clear in your tone.

He stared at you for a few more seconds, but then it seemed like he got out of a trance and quickly opened his door and closed it behind him.

You stood there, still frozen in place, not processing you had just seen him. You often thought about Felix while you were in America, the prospect of seeing him again always in the back of your mind, but you never imagined it was actually going to happen.

Now you’d have to live knowing he’s there, just a few footsteps away from you, but probably not wanting to see you. You thought about just knocking on his door, but he’s most likely in the same state as you, only more shocked. You’d give him time, but as apparently you were neighbors now you’d probably see him again sooner or later, and when that happened you’d try talking to him. Yes. Good plan.

Turns out the next time you saw Felix was rather sooner than later. You were walking down the stairs to go get some mail you received, but stopped at the end of the staircase when you saw your old friend standing in front of the mail boxes, reading his mail. You internally debated if you should go over there or not, but it was a perfect opportunity to talk to him.

You stood next to him, took a deep breath and spoke.

“Um… Hi.” You said, taking out your mail and pretending to analyze it really hard.

You felt Felix turn to look at you, and you looked back.

“Hi.” He said, kind of coldly. Hey, it was a start.

“So…” You started saying. “I’m back.”

Perhaps that was not what you should have said. “I can see that.” He said closing his mail box harshly before turning on his feet and heading up the stairs quickly, probably towards his apartment.

You sighed and closed your mailbox. It was going to be extremely difficult to regain his confidence, hell you didn’t even know if he even wanted to be friends with you again. However, that didn’t mean that you weren’t going to try.

That’s why the next time you saw him, you tried to have an actual conversation with him. You were both entering the building, Felix obviously trying to walk quicker than you to avoid conversation.

“Hey Felix?” You said catching up to him.

He sighed. “What do you want, y/n?”

You were about to say something along the lines of “don’t you think it’s weird that we live in the same building and are next door neighbors?? haha insane right”, but the only thing you could muster out was a small “I missed you…”

Felix sighed again. “I missed you too, y/n. But I suffered so much when you left, in less than a day I lost my best friend in the entire world. When I saw you again the other day, all the memories came crashing back, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Let’s talk then, let’s be friends again.” You said hopefully.

“I’m afraid not, y/n.” He said.

Before you could even ask him why, he quickly entered his apartment. You entered yours, and wondered how a simple misunderstanding and a trip to another continent damaged things so bad between you two. Come to think of it, it wasn’t fair to him that you didn’t tell him you were moving, but you thought you two would keep talking while you were away. The dance messed it all up, and you were still paying for it.

However, you were an adult now, and there was a simple way to forget about your problems: alcohol.

Felix was sitting on his couch watching a movie when he heard it: the sound of a bunch of objects hitting the floor and a loud “Fuck!” coming from the hallway. His curiosity got the best of him and he got up to open the door and peek outside, and he definitely did not expect to see what he saw.

There you were on the floor, clumsily picking up the things that fell out of your bag.

“y/n?” He said hesitantly. “Are you ok?”

You turned your head to look at him. “Uh… Yeah. Perfectly fine.”

Felix immediately knew you were a bit drunk.

“Are you drunk?”

“What? Me? Of course not.” You said as you tried to stand up, almost falling down in the process, but Felix quickly reacted and caught you before you could fall over. He steadied you on your feet and let go.

Felix sighed. “Where are your keys?”

You patted your pockets. “Uh… I was searching for them when everything slipped out… But here they are!” You held them proudly in one hand.

“Okay, now open your door.” Felix said.

You took the keys and tried putting the right one in the lock. This was apparently very difficult given your dizzy state, which is why Felix gently took them from you and opened the door.

The second you entered your apartment, you took off your shoes, put your bag down and threw yourself on the couch. Felix just stood in the doorframe, watching amusedly.

“You should go sleep in your bed, y/n.” He said tiredly.

“But it’s soooooo far.” You retorted.

Felix just chuckled and helped you stand up, guiding you to your bedroom, which was easy for him to find as his apartment had the same layout as yours.

“Don’t you want to change into something more comfortable?” He said, looking at your night out clothes.

“Uh… Probably.” You said while going over to your closet, not without a bit of difficulty.

“I’ll leave you to that.” Felix said, while he went to the kitchen to get you a glass of water.

He waited until you changed and then left the glass on your bedside table. Why was he even doing this? Taking care of you? After everything that happened?

“Okay, I’ll be going now.” He said.

You turned to look at him. “I’m so sorry for everything Felix… I was so horrible for doing that to you. I cared so much about you, hell, I still do. Please, I want to talk to you again.” You started saying, almost pleading.

Felix sighed. “We’ll talk when you’re sober.” He retorted, and left you alone.

When you woke up the next day, your head was pounding. You weren’t that drunk the night before, just enough to forget about Felix and have some fun. You vaguely remember Felix helping you in your apartment, and shame crept over you. You weren’t glad he saw you in that state, but another part of you was happy he helped you.

After freshening up a little and eating breakfast, you decidedly went over to Felix’s door and knocked. It wasn’t too early, so you were sure he was home. A few seconds later the door opened, revealing the freckled boy.

“Oh.” He just said.

“Uh… Hi.” You started saying nervously. “Firstly, I came to say sorry you had to see me like that yesterday… I wasn’t thinking correctly. Secondly, I wanted to say thank you for helping me, you didn’t have to do that but you did…”

“It’s no problem.”

You took in a big breath, and just started talking. “You know, Felix, the last thing I expected when I moved here was to live right across from you, my best friend, or well, my ex best friend. But I’d like to think it was for a reason, you know? You were the only person I was truly close to in high school, I appreciated your friendship so much. I know it’s going to be difficult, but there’s nothing I want more in the world than having you back. So please, can we fix things?”

Felix looked like he was taking in all your words. “Come in.” He suddenly said, stepping apart to let you into his apartment.

“Thank you so much.” You said as you stepped inside.

The both of you sat down in the sofa, plenty of distance between you. The air was tense, so you spoke first.

“Again, I’m so sorry I left Australia so suddenly. I should’ve talked to you first.”

“Yeah, you should’ve. But I still have some fault in everything that happened. The both of us shouldn’t have assumed things, but we did and now we’re here, years later.”

You smiled a bit. “Yeah, we’re whole adults now.”

Felix went silent for a bit, and then spoke. “It was so difficult seeing you again, y/n. I thought you were out of my life for good.” Sadness was evident in his tone.

“But now I’m here, and I’d like to make things right. Maybe we could hang out so we can catch up? There are lots of things to tell, I assume.” You said hopefully.

Felix looked deep in thought. You knew you were pushing your luck here, but if he said yes, you’d be able to fix things.

“Okay, let’s try that.”

You smiled brightly, happiness flooding your body. “Thank you. How about we go to my apartment, I make some lunch, and we can talk?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Things were surely weird at first. Felix was sitting on one of your kitchen stools while you cooked, and he was mostly in silence while you talked about your adventures in university. After a while though, it seemed like he gave up on the cold exterior and started talking too, putting you up to date on his life.

Once you finished cooking and served two plates, you sat down and continued talking. You couldn’t believe how much you had missed him, from the way he spoke to his smile. You felt at home with him, even after years had passed.

You both shared anecdotes from your time apart, talked about the new friends you made, your actual jobs, and reminisced over old high school stories from when you were best friends. That’s when the air got a bit tense, as you started talking about how close you were.

“You know…” He started saying. “I want to apologize for treating you badly the first few times we saw each other here. It was probably unnecessary.”

“No, I get it. I suddenly disappear from your life and now I’m back, you have every right to be upset.”

He stayed silent for a moment. “I’m not upset anymore… I want you back in my life y/n, now that we talked I realized how much I missed my best friend, and I won’t let the opportunity of having you back again slip from my fingers.”

You smiled widely. “That makes me so happy to hear.”

The next few weeks consisted of you going to work and hanging out with Felix. Both of you came over to each other’s apartment’s all of the time, sometimes staying over for dinner or just to watch some TV and talk. You were so glad to have your best friend back, and thanked the universe for making you live right across from him. However, along with the happiness you felt, something else returned.

That was, you were slowly realizing your crush on Felix was coming back. Every time he talked or smiled you fell a little deeper, plus his attitude didn’t really change so your dumb high school crush didn’t have a reason to leave either, even after all these years.

The thing is, you weren’t really sure of what Felix felt towards you. You know you just started being friends again after the awkwardness of the first encounters, but you have grown really close these past weeks. You have a slight feeling he may like you back, just a tiny bit. It may be the lingering stares, the small touches or the wide smiles, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up, even when your heart sped up whenever these happened.

One day, you were both sitting on his couch, a boring TV show playing in the background while you talked about anything and everything, as you used to. After a few moments of silence, Felix spoke.

“You know,” he started saying. “I used to have the biggest crush on you in high school.” He finished with a small giggle. “That’s why I was so mad we weren’t going to the dance together.”

You froze. Did you hear that right?

“You- you did?”

“Yeah…” He scratched his neck. “I mean, we were always together and you’re amazing, how could I have not had a crush on you?”

Maybe it was time to come clean too.

“Well, you’re not the only one because I used to have a crush on you too.” You said, probably blushing.

“Wait really? Why didn’t you say anything!” he exclaimed, hitting your arm playfully.

“Why would I?” you laughed. “I wasn’t sure you liked me back, I wasn’t going to go and ruin our friendship.”

“We’re so stupid.” Felix laughed. “If only we said anything…”

A tense silence filled up the room.

“Fuck it.” You heard Felix mutter under his breath. “y/n, I think I still have that crush on you. Or at least it came back after seeing you again.”

You sat there frozen for a few seconds, processing his words. Then you also decided to say fuck it and leaned forward to press your lips against Felix’s.

You felt as he was shocked for a few milliseconds but then immediately reciprocated the kiss, putting his hands on both sides of your cheeks. It was just the press of your lips against each other, but the way your heart was racing showed how much you have been anticipating this.

You broke apart after a few seconds and looked into each other’s eyes, Felix’s hands still on your face. You could see every one of his freckles from this close up, he was so beautiful.

Felix smiled. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” he said.

You smiled back. “There’s nothing that would make me happier.”

[kayteewritessteve]

Secrets and Sins - 5/13

Description: You flee from an abusive situation and find yourself on the other side of the country, creating new friends and possibly finding new love. But will you be able to escape your past? To truly move on with your life? Or will everything come crashing down around you in the blink of an eye?

Catch up HERE.

Word Count: 3,520 ish.

Pairing: Mobster!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Curse words. Brief mentions of abusive behaviour, and moments of abuse—nothing to in depth but could be upsetting to some. Plus possible other triggering thoughts and feelings described.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors, so there’s that lol.

The next few days dragged on, it was sheer agony. Every time the front door opened, your heart skipped a beat before promptly dropping, when your eyes would landed on the random faces entering the pub. You’d scold yourself for having this reaction, every time. Yet the second the door would open again you’d have the same damn reaction. Every. Time. It was becoming emotionally draining, to say the least.

Your head told you one thing, but your heart refused to listen. Days. Fucking days. Since he had learned where you worked. Since he had learned your name. And yet, nothing. No visits, no communication, no nothing. What was this fuckhead doing to you?!? You were never this woman.

You had called it, after the second run in with him, that your mind would be given more to think about. More scenarios to play through. And it had, which was—driving you batshit crazy. Every night you dreamed of him, and the day time wasn’t much different. Still pining over a guy you couldn’t have. And you knew you shouldn’t want him. He was dangerous. He was connected. He was a thug—No, worse than a thug, he commanded thugs. And that terrified you. But also …excited you. Fuck. No. You shook your head. Stop thinking like that you silly woman.

The front door opened and you instantly looked up from the bar, heart skipping yet again. Clearly you weren’t going to learn. Then your eyes landed on a tall, well built guy with shoulder length dark brown hair, sky blue eyes and a killer smile. He caught you checking him out and just grinned in return before heading to a back table and taking a seat. He wasn’t in your section so he wasn’t your problem and you focused back on your task at hand. Cleaning the dirty glasses and yelling at yourself, internally.

Nat came out of fucking nowhere, damn near running behind the bar and right up to you. “Hey, I need you to handle that fucker for me.” she hissed.

You turned to her and furrowed your brows, “Who?”

“The fuckhead that just came in. Brown hair, blue eyes, stupid fucking smile. Please, Y/N. I need you to tend to him for me.” she damn near begged and instantly you knew there was a back story there, because Nat never begged or gave up a table willingly.

“Okay, can I at least ask why?”

“Does it matter?” She countered and crossed her arms in front of her.

You signed, “I guess not. But you owe me woman.” You finished with a flirty wink at her.

“Sure. Fine. Yeah. Deal.” She responded quickly and waved it off with a dismissive hand, clearly she wasn’t in a joking mood. Which only intrigued you more.

You put down the glasses you were washing and wiped your hands off on a bar towel then made your way over to him. Pulling out your notepad and pen once you got there. You normally didn’t need to write orders down, but your mind wasn’t exactly functioning properly at the moment, and you found yourself needing to write small things down, or you’d forget them instantly. Stupid blue ey—Steve. Right. Big bad mob boss. King of New York. Someone you should steer clear of. Completely.

“Hey, my names Y/N, i’ll be your server today, what can I get cha?” You asked in a cheery voice.

“Just a whiskey. Thanks, doll.”

“Of course, coming right up.” You turned and headed towards the bar. Seeing Nat still standing there, arms crossed, glaring daggers at the back of the guys head.

You rounded the corner of the bar, “You’re staring.” you whispered slowly as you passed her, then you reached up to grab one of the nice bottles of whiskey.

She huffed and spun around “No, not that one,” she reached up to grabbed a different bottle, “he likes this brand.” She grabbed a glass, muttering curse words under her breath, and angrily poured 3 fingers into it then set it on the bar top, and turned to hand you the bottle of whiskey she’d grabbed. You furrowed your brows and put both bottles back in the proper spots. “You gunna tell me the story behind this?” You whispered as you gestured between her and the ‘fuckhead’, as she put it. Who luckily had chosen a chair facing away from the bar, so he couldn’t see either of you, currently.

“Nope.” she said, popping the P for effect.

“Nat,” you warned.

She huffed but then sighed, “Ugh. Fine. But not right now.” Then she turned and sauntered away. You shook your head and picked up the drink from the bar then headed back towards the brunettes table. You set it down in front of him, “Here you go, sorry for the wait.”

“No worries,” he took a sip and his eyes widened slightly as a smirk formed on his lips, slightly hidden behind the glass, “she still remembers my preferences, I see.” he chuckled.

“Okay, this is really none of my business, but are you like an ex of hers or something?”

He took another sip of his drink, “You’re pretty nosey, huh?” He smirked, which made you think he wasn’t actually upset by your question, but instead took the chance to mess with you.

“I prefer inquisitive,” you laughed. “I’d even go as far as saying i’m direct,” you shrugged.

He eyed you for a second then shook his head and mumbled something inaudible under his breath before he smirked again, “No, we never officially dated, but we do go way back.”

You nodded, “Ah. Got cha. Well, enjoy your drink.” You said as you spun around to walk away.

“Bucky,” he blurted out.

You turned back around, confused. “I’m sorry?”

“My names Bucky,” he clarified.

“Oh, okay. Well, nice to meet you Bucky,” you curtsied at him then turned back around once more. Did you just fucking curtsy? Who even curtsies anymore? Good lord woman.

“I’m sure we will meet many more times in the future,” he said as you continued to walk away.

His comment made you furrow your brows, and glance back at him, not like he could see it. What the hell did he mean by that? You wanted to ask him, but you also didn’t really want to know the answer. You shook your head then headed towards one of your actual tables to check in on them.

Once all your tables had been checked on, you looked around the pub, but didn’t see Nat anywhere, so you walked up to Manti behind the bar, “Hey, have you seen Nat?”

She shook her head and frowned. “Not lately, no.”

“Okay, do you mind just keeping an eye on my tables for a second?”

“Of course!” She cheerily responded, as if you had just given her the most exciting task ever. Girl was strange, but sweet. You liked her, just in small doses.

“Thanks,” you headed for the door at the side of the bar, entering into the bright hallway, you moved towards one of the three doors, the one that led to the ladies staff room/lockers. Opening it a crack you saw Nat sitting on a bench looking rather downcast. As you pushed the door open more it creaked and you saw her quickly wipe her cheeks then she turned to you.

“What do you want?” She snapped, which was unlike her, but then she saw the concerned look on your face and just turned away with a deep sigh. Mumbling a ‘sorry’.

You walked cautiously towards her then sat down beside her, leaving a foot of space between the two of you. You faced forward as to not make her feel uncomfortable, she didn’t strike you as the crying type and you were sure she was less than thrilled that you had caught her doing just that. “He said you guys went way back..” You softly said. Trying to gently push her to open up.

Her head snapped around and she glared at you, “You fucking asked him about me?!” She growled.

“First off, simmer your shit. I’m not the enemy here.” You said firmly, before raising a knowing brow at her, “Secondly, we both know if the roles were reversed you’d have asked also, so don’t give me that.”

She glared at you for a second, then her face softened and she laughed quietly, “Okay. You do have a point there.”

“Exactly, now, do you want to talk about it or not?”

She sighed, “He was my best friend growing up, well him and Steve—“

You cut her off, “Wait. Hold up. Steve, as in mob boss Steve?!” You gapped at her.

“Yes. Keep up.” She rolled her eyes, playfully, “Do you want to hear the story or not?”

You closed your mouth then nodded.

“Then hold your questions till the end please.”

You made a zipper motion over your lips then pretended to throw away the key.

“Shit, if I had known it was this easy to shut you up I would have told you this all sooner.” she joked and you rolled your eyes but laughed.

She proceeded to tell you how the four of them had been inseparable growing up, the fourth being some guy named Sam. And that she had realized early on that she had feelings for Bucky, but that it took awhile for her to realize just how strong those feelings were. And it turned out he felt it too. Steve had figured it out and basically forced them both to confess to their feelings, it was awkward but had worked. She had been seeing Bucky for a little while, unofficially. However, before things could go any further then that, Steve’s mom was tragically murdered.

Steve had basically changed over night, and then after her funeral, he put up walls and forced everyone out. Well, everyone except Bucky and Sam. They’d both would never have allowed Steve to drop them, especially not at a time like that. But when she tried to force the same with Steve it ended in a big fight, where he threatened her life if she ever spoke to him again. He was not the same guy she had grown up with. He was completely different and it scared her, so she listened to him and kept her distance, even with how much that hurt her to do.

But she never would have expected Bucky to do the same. She never expected him to drop her like she was nothing. Meant nothing. She thought he loved her, but clearly that was a lie. He ignored her calls and texts. And if she showed up at his house, which she did a few times, he wouldn’t open the door, he wouldn’t even respond through the door to her. No matter how much she banged on it or yelled his name. Even going so far as to yell at him to face her like a fucking man. But nothing. Radio silence. Then days turned to weeks. Weeks to months. And months to years.

And now here she was. Working a random Tuesday shift, when none other then Bucky Barnes strolls in the fucking door and sits his ass down in her section. Like he had no clue who she was, or that she worked here. Like she had never meant a damn thing to him. A stranger from a passed life.

“So, that’s the whole story.” she shrugged nonchalantly as if it didn’t matter anymore. But you could see it in her eyes. It still very much mattered.

“You still love him,” you stated, it wasn’t a question.

She sputtered for a second before sighing deeply, “That obvious, huh?”

“Oh, I figured that out before I had even agreed to take his table from you,” you smirked. “But I get it. He was your first love, you can’t just forget that, especially when it ends without any sort of closure or communication. It’s like a wound that won’t heal,” you paused then turned to look at her, “You should talk to him, I mean, he is here after all. Take this chance to get your closure. I’ll cover your tables for you.”

“You’d really do that for me?”

“Of course,” you patted her back then stood up, “All I ask is that you don’t start a bar fight,” you laughed then offered her a hand up.

“Please, I’d knock him out long before it could turn into a bar fight,” she smirked.

“I don’t doubt that, not for a second,” you shook your head as you both made your way out of the back room and back into the main part of the pub. You jerked your jaw towards the back of Bucky’s head and gave her a stern look and she rolled her eyes, “Yeah. Yeah. I’m going.”

She walked over to him, grabbed his arm and forcefully pulled him up, ignoring his questions as she dragged him out the side door. Half an hour later they both re-entered from the same door, looking like they were both seeing stars. You smirked. Clearly the ‘talk’ had gone well.

Over the next few days Bucky showed up every day, like clockwork. Sitting in the same spot in Nat’s section and ordering the same drink, every time. Though Nat never asked you to cover the table for her ever again. So clearly their talk went better then just ‘well’.

You looked up to see her at his table, a giant smile on her face as they talked and you felt yourself frown a little. You felt silly for being a little miffed by their interactions. You were so happy for Nat, for her getting a second chance on love, but at the same time it only made you realize more that you were alone. And would be for a long time. You hadn’t really ever experienced a love like that. One that lasted through all the hardships. Through all the years. A love that you just couldn’t forget, no matter how hard you tried. At first you thought you’d loved him, you thought you’d love him forever. But then he flipped, he changed right in front of your eyes and after a while you no longer liked the man staring back at you. Let alone loved him. Maybe you had never experienced true love before, maybe you never would. You were unlucky in love, obviously, and maybe that would never change. No point risking your life, or anyone else’s, for lust or a slight infatuation. That wouldn’t be worth it. Not one bit—

“I’ll take that second drink now.”

You froze, knowing that deep voice instantly. You slowly turned your head and came face to face with those same piercing blue eyes. The ones that had basically been etched into your mind for the last week. You quickly adjusted your shocked expression into a more neutral one and took a deep breath.

“Scotch. Neat?” You asked. Though you already knew the answer from your previous run-in.

He smirked, and you were starting to think that he just naturally always smiled in a seductive way, like he was just made to fluster woman and have them begging him to take them home. It had an air of cockiness to it, but also didn’t seem forced or faked. Like it was just him, just his natural charm.

“You remembered.” He whispered, though you weren’t sure if he meant for you to hear him, but you had. And something in his voice seemed almost shy? ..Timid? ..Nervous? You couldn’t tell for sure. But something about a mob boss seeming so soft threw you through a fucking loop. Here was this man, the fucking King of New York, responding to you like he was terrified of you. It made your heart rate jump up, and the blood rush to your face.

You shook your head as if trying to clear your thoughts and calm your bodies reaction, “Kind of hard to forget.” You answered honestly. But whether you meant him or the drink you’d never say. Not to his face at least.

He looked please by that response, “Good,” he damn near growled out. His voice was so deep it sent a chill up your spin. There was nothing shy about his response this time. It was like a switch flicking, one minute shy and nervous, the next assertive and confident. It made your fucking head spin. But in all the right ways.

You nodded then turned around to grab the scotch off the shelf, hearing the familiar screech of one of the bar stools being pulled out from its spot tucked neatly under the bar counter. Guess he’ll be staying this time. You kept your back to him as you grabbed a glass and made his drink. Once you put the bottle back you turned and placed the glass in front of him. Noticing a bill on the bar top you furrowed your brows and looked at him.

He just chuckled and shrugged.

“But you said—I thought we agreed that I still owed you one?” You asked.

“You do.” He replied as he picked up his drink with one hand a took a sip, while his other hand slid the bill across the bar top towards you.

You picked the bill up, your fingers grazed his and you were acutely aware of it. You held the bill up. “Then why are you giving me this?”

He took one more sip then put his drink down and leaned in, with his elbows on the bar top, as if he was about to tell you a deep dark secret. You narrowed your eyes at him but then leaned in slightly as well, meeting him face to face in the middle of the bar counter. Your close proximity mixed with the delicious smell of his cologne made your heart flutter and brought back the feeling of a handful of pop rocks in your stomach. But then he began to speak and it damn near sent you over the edge. His voice all of a sudden had this deep husky tone to it and it was basically destroying you. “Because I’ve just decided, I’ll only accept payment for the second drink if you agree to a date, with me,” he pulled away and then leaned back fully in his chair, arms crossed, drink in hand, and a smug as fuck look on his face. “Them’s the terms, doll. Take it or leave it.”

You stood back up, eyes still narrowed, except now you crossed your arms as well. “Oh, is that so?”

He chuckled, “Yup.”

“And if I don’t agree to a date with you?”

“Then you still owe me,” he shrugged and took a sip of his drink. “Which, if I might add, is not a fun place to be. I take debts owing to me very seriously. So, what do you say, doll?”

“Can I,” You hesitated for a moment, “Can I have some time to think about it?”

“Of course, but word to the wise, I’m not going to just go away. You’ll agree eventually,” he shrugged, “So there really isn’t a point in fighting it for too long. Just a waste of both of our time.”

You raised a brow at him, “How do you know I’ll agree ‘eventually’?”

He motioned with his index finger for you to come closer once again, then he leaned in but this time much, much closer as he put his face directly beside yours as if he was going to say something again. But instead of speaking, you heard him take a deep breath, as if smelling you then releasing it slowly. The feeling of his warm breath danced along your skin, and goosebumps broke out everywhere it reached. You clenched your eyes shut and held your breath when he whispered in one of thee most seductive tones you had ever heard, “Because I know you want me just as bad as I want you. I can see it in your eyes.”

He pulled away, and your eyes snapped open, but his words had left you momentarily frozen in place. He then finished the last of his drink in one gulp, stood up to button up and adjusted his suit jacket, as if nothing had happened, “Enjoy the rest of your shift, Y/N,” he took a card out of his pocket, put it on the counter then slid it towards you. “This is for when you realize you want that date.” he smirked. Yes, that same fucking smirk. And then he walked out. Leaving you basically glued in place, still hunched slightly over the bar resting on your elbows.

Once you heard the pub door close, you let out a deep breath then looked around seeing Nat and Bucky both staring at you, both with amused expressions on their faces. Fuckers. They had clearly witnessed that whole interaction. You rolled your eyes then grabbed his stupid card off the bar top, and put it in your back pocket. Like hell i’m going to call him—at least not right away. You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose. Fuck. He had called you out on your shit. And he had been right. You did want him, and fucking bad.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@hopefulmoonobject @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tessvillegas @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @casuallydarktiger @theonelittleone

[deans-baby-momma]

Rebel Without A Cause-Ch 3

A/N: This is a day late because I was so busy at work yesterday I let it slip my mind. But, hey now you don’t have to wait so long. LOL Next update will be Friday as previously scheduled. For now enjoy……and don’t forget to leave feedback. :)

“Shopping!” Jo announces, answering Maggie’s question of how she was going to be transformed into a rock music groupie. “New clothes, new make-up, whole new hairstyle,” she continued, counting off things on her fingers. “Give me 3 days and I’ll have you looking the part!”

“I-I don’t know,” the shy girl stammers. "I've…”

“Margaret,” Jo interrupts, placing a hand on her new friend’s shoulder. “You gotta just have faith.”

“Please call me Maggie,” she tells her coworker. “Margaret is such an old woman’s name.”

“Well Maggie, then we need to get you to quit dressing like a Margaret and start dressing more like a Maggie. ‘Tis a cool name though. I like it.” Jo says with a smile.

“You really think you can make me look like I belong in the crowd at a rock concert?”

“Sure I do!” Jo exclaims. “Let me ask you this, how against dying your hair are you?”

In the end, Jo convinces her to meet up at the mall first thing the next morning, a Saturday. “The earlier the better, since the families who usually crowd the mall will still be at home”, Jo declares. Maggie is still hesitant about the change of hair color but agrees to at least get a trim. Her rust-colored hair falls halfway down her back when she loosens the clip holding it up. 

'Wow! You’ve got to tell me your secret. Other than some dead ends, your hair is beautiful!“

"Good morning!” Jo chirps as she passes a styrofoam cup toward Maggie the next morning. She had been standing just outside the entrance to the mall when Maggie walked up. “Ready to be revamped?”

Maggie smiles at the blonde as she takes a sip of the steaming liquid. The coffee is sweet nectar to Maggie since she hadn’t had a chance to brew any herself in the rush to meet Jo at the appointed time. Somehow, Jo had known that and had provided exactly what she needed. Maggie wondered if this was a sign that the woman in front of her would actually be able to help her get what she needed; a behind the scenes look into the nuances of the Winchester Sex Bombs.

After work the evening before, Maggie had spent hours scouring the web and all articles related to the band. The group was made up of five childhood friends, two of them brothers. The lead singer, Dean, was the older brother to the bass player, Sam; the keyboardist (Seriously? A keyboardist in a rock band?) Meg Novak was married to the guitarist Clarence, or Cas as most know him as; the loner was Benny, the drummer. He was an unattached drifter that probably saw quite a lot  from his view on stage; Maggie speculated if that could be an angle she could use for her piece? She wanted to keep a low profile with the band, not wanting to draw the lead singer’s attention at all.

The five of them hailed from a small town in Kansas, Lawrence. They all went to high school together, forming the band in the senior year of four of them. Sam was a few years younger than the others, the baby of the group. He had joined when the original bassist had moved away to go to college. Maggie briefly wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing. The band he left behind was finally making a name for themselves, traveling the continental US to play in a different city every couple of days, but was also leaving behind carnage and unflattering reports in their wake.

After finishing off their beverages, Jo and Maggie head into the mall. 

“Okay, first things first. The outfit!” Jo announces as she claps her hand together. “New shirts, new pants, shoes….oh, you definitely need boots, at least. The higher the better!”

“Jo, I can’t walk in heels,” Maggie informs. “I’ll break my ankle and neck. Aren’t I supposed to be able to dance and….mosh?”

“Look at you!” Jo chuckles, putting an arm around Maggie’s shoulders. “You’re already learning the lingo. But no, these boots have flat to minuscule heels. I meant they have to at least be knee-high and zip up. Easier to get off when you want to get busy, ya know”

Maggie couldn’t help but blush. The only kind of 'getting busy’ she was doing was typing up her story at the end of this assignment. The last thing on her mind was getting laid…but after some thought, it had been a while. It’s been six months since her ex-boyfriend Luke left her for Sabrina and probably twice that long since she and he had been intimate. 'Has it really been almost a year since I’ve had sex?’ Maggie ponders as they head for the Shoe Plaza. 

“Here. Go try these on,” Jo demands, shoving a pair of jeans in Maggie’s direction. “And I wanna see, so come out here and model for me.”

In the dressing room, Maggie removes her slacks and holds up the garment Jo had given her. The material is a dark blue with a few places looking worn, the fabric frayed. The left knee has a patched hole on it. As she studies them, she realizes she is going to have to practically pour herself into them. She glances at the tag, thinking Jo had picked up the wrong size but unfortunately that wasn’t the case.

Pulling the material over her hips, Maggie is astonished at how comfortable the jeans were. They aren’t as hard to button as she assumed either. Turning left then right, she eyes herself in the mirror. Maggie hadn’t worn anything this form-fitting in years, if ever. The fabric hugs her curves perfectly. Taking a breath, she opens the door and steps out.

“Oh my god!” Jo exclaims. “I was right. Look at you! Look at that ass! Those jeans make it pop,” she announces, making sure to snap her lips on the 'p’ “I swear if I wasn’t confident in my sexuality, I’d turn lesbian for you. Girl, you are hot!”

After leaving J.C. Penney’s with a few pairs of jeans, the two women head to what Jo calls the 'ideal rockstar outlet’, Hot Topic. Maggie balks at the site of the store. The lights inside are dimmed, making the place look ominous. There are floor-to-ceiling displays of numerous different styles of band t-shirts and apparel. In the back, there is a glass counter with glowing jewelry and ornaments. The place is empty as they enter, Maggie looking back and forth taking it all in. Some of the outfits she wouldn’t be caught dead in! Like the leather full bodysuit with zippered pockets throughout or leggings that were so thin, they were practically see-through. “Do people actually wear this stuff?” she whispers to Jo. A chuckle from behind causes both of them to turn to see a younger woman standing there.  She has the goth look down. Thick black winged eyeliner, a nose piercing, and her hair is jet black and lays in waves down over her shoulders. “Nah, those are mostly for aesthetic. Although, those-” she says pointing toward the transparent leggings, “-they really work if you’re trying to turn your man on. They come crotchless too,’ she continues with a wink.

"Oh my god! Why would anyone…”

“Easy access”, both Jo and the girl, Francesca by her nametag, declare with a laugh.  

“How can I help you two today?” Francesca asks.

“My friend here is going to her first rock concert next week. She needs to look the part,” Jo explains with a nudge to Maggie’s side. 

“Oooo, which band?”

“Um, Win-Winchester Sex Bombs,” Maggie stutters out.

“Ah, yes. They’re coming to the River, aren’t they? Music’s pretty good but I don’t think that’s what’s making them such a hot commodity. It’s that lead singer, Dean. He and his dreamy green eyes. And those thighs! Damn, the things I could do on those.” Francesca proclaims, Jo nodding her agreement. “Could you imagine the power of his thrusts!”

Maggie blushes at the girl’s lack of a filter. She and Jo keep talking about their fantasies if they were ever to get a night with the man as Maggie steps away, not wanting to have those images in her head as she interviewed the band. As she perused the array of clothing she picks out a couple of shirts with sayings on them that were funny and one with a picture of her parent’s favorite group, The Beatles.

Jo eventually joins her, with an armful of clothes. “Here, this is what you’re wearing with those jeans and the gray suede boots.”

Hanging on a hanger is an ivory-colored lace top with sheer fabric underneath. Maggie knows that the top would definitely show her underclothes and shakes her head. She couldn’t wear that! No way. 

@pink1031​ @spnbaby-67​ @winecatsandpizza​ @joseyrw​ @kricketc28​ @tftumblin​ @markofdean79​

[hu-meow]

Gentleman Jack 1x03

Alright so I had meant to get back to this sooner, but things happen and were we are. I also realize there are a few others that have done similar to this, and they have amazing and far more intellectual and elegant and analytical words for this type of thing. Mine is far more, uh, "I like this because of blah blah blah." Anyway...

1) Fresh from the Lake District, our Ann(e)s find themselves in some lovely conversation only to be interrupted by some Rawson relations. Ann would much rather in with Anne, alone, and it is very clear when she answers Mrs Rawson. "Oh, Miss Lister, you're here. We can leave..." Ann "Oh, if you'd like" HA. Bye bitch, don't let the door hit you on the way out. But alas, they stay. And then Anne flirts, in front of her mother and Ann with Miss Rawson. Ann does this little eyebrow raise, almost like she's thinking over what Anne says, so cute. And originally I was burnt to hell about there being no show of the Lake District trip, but after reading the companion book, Anne didn't go/meet up with Ann there, so I guess that makes sense. But still. Seeing Ann light up would have been very swoon worthy.

2) I keep forgetting to mention how much I love the intro. I never skip it, even after watching it as many times as I have. The only other opening I never skipped was GoT. So. Good job on that one, music/sound team.

3) I don't know French, but Elizabeth Cordingley's complete butcher of it still cracks me up. Any French speakers reading this? Does she even make sense? Is she understandable at all?

4) This little sneaky walk to the "shed" is cute. Obviously Anne has planned it, but Ann is oblivious. And Ann talking about the Ainsworth's. It's like she's hoping Anne will approve of putting them off. At first, we just assume it's because Ann just wants to travel with Anne. But of course, later we realize (at least how I took it) that Ann would rather Mr. Asshole not be anywhere near her. Man, the way the writing sets up everything is just too perfect. Anyway...Ann's (Sophie's) delighted face when she sees the chaumiere! So adorkable. How can you not fall in love with her? Anne totally is, that's for sure lol We get our first two lip licks here (07:12 and 07:54) with Ann being nervous but trying not to be. Suppose it's more anticipation. But she was ready for that damn kiss. She even leaned in, but of course, Anne knows how to draw out that moment, and it makes it even more satisfying. And then the little tongue thing after from Ann. (9:34) It just slays me.

5) A quick "thank you James" and then an up against the door kiss. HNNG. And "...stay all night." GURL. Talk about the Thirst. Went from first kiss to that in .002 seconds. LOVE. IT. It even throws Anne off. And she plans her conquests out. But you can tell Ann was moving FAR quicker than she'd anticipated. It's like Anne didn't even have to try. lol She has to court so hard with these other women, and then here goes little Miss Ann Walker, all but throwing herself at Anne LOL def wife material.

(this is really long, so I’m drop this here)

6) I love spaztastic Marian. I think I love it most because her character was so different in GoT. Much more like Anne's. And here she's so NOT that lol. Emma plays the part so well. Everyone does. God I love this show. The spat at the table was great, with Marian being Marian and Anne trying not to smile through it all. Such perfect sibling dynamic.

7) Captain Lister about to spill the tea and Anne walks in and is like "we don't fight" LOL then continues to lay the verbal smack down to Jeramiah, like "did I fucking stutter with my price?" Anne def has the biggest balls of them all.

8) "Will you tell Calligula" LMAO just great little line. And random, but why doesn't Marian sport the weird little curls at her ears like everyone else does? I think she had them like, once, in ep 1? and that's been it. Just curious about that.

9) Ann asks Anne a few times "are you all right" and of course, Anne's answer to everyone else is always "I'm always all right." but I'm almost certain, Anne always answers Ann with some type of explanation. (there is the 'nothing' before Ann goes to Scotland, but more of that when we get to that episode, and she does still answer. MY HEART). But from what I can remember, Anne doesn't front with Ann that she's "all right". She gives her something, she's open. She's still trying to be strong, but she allows that softness too. Which brings me to probably one of my most favorite kisses of theirs. Its just so slow, and tender, and it's almost a side kiss, and just idk. It's very beautiful. ALSO I noticed this time, that after the kiss, both of their hands are on the back of the chair, and their fingers/pinkies are touching (29:50) It's brief and you almost miss it, but damn. I need that giffed. gif'd? gif'ed? as a gif. It's just too precious. They cant kiss more because of where they are and Anne is about to leave, but their hands are hidden and they just need that little bit more of contact and its just HNNG.

10) I love Aunt Anne. She's just a treasure and she love Anne so much and wants her to truly be happy. And I totally want to start saying "off you pop" LOL

11) Okay, so even though the Ann(e)s have done a LOT together, it just feels like this dinner is their official first date. They both dress up, it's dinner, Ann is nervous again and she's rambling and it's so adorkable and Anne thinks so too and just smiles as she waits for Ann to get to her point. Then there's still some nervousness with after dinner tea, and Anne is like, well, first date done, time for the big one with a reassuring leg squeeze...and Ann gets to the very idea of it being a marriage on her own! Cue floored Anne once again. I swear every time Ann surprises Anne, she falls more in love with her little Miss Walker. Ann is doing the lip lick think (38:59) and omg the way she says, and especially her face for, "give birth" is just as great as the first time. That should be a gif too LOL

12) Fucking John Booth going to the wrong damn house! Come on dude, are you even paying attention to what/were your mistress goes?? Facepalm for days. I think that actually happened though, if I'm not mistaken (it's been a minute since I read the companion book, and I read it at like 3am, and slept since...but if not, whatevs.)

13) OMG the full blown make out! Complete with some grubbling!! I find it interesting though, that Ann has Anne stop, as it becomes "too much" yet she had been asking her to stay all night. I wonder if this is a nod to how indecisive Ann was, or if she just didn't quite understand how overly emotional the physical stuff would make her. Either way, we end up with FIVE (5) nervous lip licks here, folks. It was a hard scene to not blink through, and lots of 10 sec rewinds to catch it all (42:13, 42:37, 42:44, 42:46, and a half one but I count it anyway at 43:00. I think I got those times correct, anyway. Just watch the whole scene, really.) And then we end it was Anne's 4th wall break and Ann asking what she's looking at LOL I know there's talk about wanting Ann to have some 4th wall breaks in season 2, and as much as I would love that as well, it's sorta almost a joke that everyone has it BUT Ann. So, even if she doesn't in s2, I won't be horribly disappointed, especially if Anne does it again and Ann asks again LOL

14) There were other things I had notes on, but I'm skipping because this is longer than the first two, and I hadn't planned that. Ah well...Back to the Ann(e)s....LOL of all the places, why is Ann on the floor? I mean, safety? Protection? Because shes just too fucking precious? I'd assume yes. But Anne is so confused and ready to fuck someone up and then once Ann tells her, the look on Anne's face as she goes from worry to relief is just amazing. Suranne, you fucking goddess. And then all the comfort Anne gives Ann as the poor girl just cries and doesn't think she's good enough. And again, I think this is a bit because of Mr. Fucktard, pressing and getting what he wants no matter what, where as Anne stepped back and made Ann comfortable. I swear Ann doesn't know what it's like to be put first, that her concerns are heard and understood and valued. Everyone just pushes their opinion or wants on her, and she's just had to go with it over th years. She just doesn't even know how to react to Anne and her attentiveness. It's so refreshing for Ann, even if she doesn't fully understand it. And also, because Ann was a wreck, three more lip licks, shit four! (50:59, 51:14, 51:20, 51:44)

15) Fucking Mrs SneakAss Priestly. She can't just leave well enough alone. So bored she's gotta fuck with Ann's happiness. We're having some hella good grubbling, the first fucking "I love you" and this old biddy has to ruin the parade. Anne was hella quick to jump up though. Almost like she's done that before (even though, she totally hasn't, amiright LOL) Ann(e)s just standing there after Mrs P leaves, and omg lol Anne has this "well fuck, how do we turn this around" look, like her brain is really whirling and hoping Ann doesn't freak out, mean while Ann just loses her shit and busts out laughing. So great that happened for real, too. Ann Walker, you are fantastic. "do you want to go upstairs?" because, hello, someone has blue balls at this point. But it's so cute once they get up to Ann's room and the scene nearly ends with her lip lick (58:23). But those stares, like yeah, we're totally in this together now....

AH OKAY. FucKIng LONG. I'm sorry! I even cut some things, so if you made this far, thank you! This was a really good episode, really kicks off their momentum and is sorta the calm before the storm. Oh, I also started to take note of the dresses Ann wears, cuz I swear she only wears like five. so far I have: That Blue Dress, the pink/purple plaid (first kiss), the pink with the sheer puff sleeves (that's what she's wearing in my fave kiss), the pink with some design (flowers?) for the "date", and a pink/purple color she's wearing at the end. So, that is five, and I'll have to see what else she wears, if any (yes shes wearing something else in Scotland, and no, night clothes don't exactly count. though her with her side braid and yellow corset and bloomers is my fave in the whole series...more of that later.)

Counts:

*Anne 4th wall breaks (ep): 3

**Total: 11

*Ann's lip licks (ep): 13!

**Total: 19

(there was a lot this ep, so I'm not going to list them here. And there was a fair amount of lip presses, which are def honourable mentions and worth watching...)