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#emotional panicking rn
hisui-dreamer · 1 year
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is confessing over text bad (keep in mind said crush is a 14hr flight away)
and is it bad if i just straight up text him out of the blue "hey i like you"
@azulashengrottospiano mom help im scared
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dandyshucks · 4 months
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i am not immune to putting blorbos in tanktops
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blastergraft · 2 months
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*sayf is now sitting on cocoa's head. Chill ass crow-*
{Sayf's grip on Cocoa must be pretty strong, considering the speed that Blaster is running at to get back to Blackrock HQ. He is quietly mumbling to himself as he runs through the snow covered path.}
COMEONCOMEONCOMEONCOMEONCOMEONDONTDIEDONTLETTHEMDIEWERESOCLOSETHEYLLBEOKAYJUSTGETTHEMTOBLACKROCKDAMMIT...
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buriesitsteeth · 5 months
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Hm.
#had a dream about ex-besties again#and when I said ‘I’m sorry hearing briefly about the ab*se I was being subjected to at home and my parent’s su*cide attempts were so#annoying and boring for you. you were my only people I could trust#to open up to in the moment while I was panicking and having to very much#confront the fact that my parent was going to die.#but I’m sorry it was irritating or whatever.’#I was so right#I know friends do not exist as therapists but#I do not see how you can be all ‘oh my guy that’s awful but this this and this are ab*sive behaviours. you act this was because you are#traumatised here read this yeah yeah we need to get you out of there yeah’#one day and then the next just#cut me out like I’m some sort of cancer#if at any point they’d said hey I don’t have the emotional bandwidth rn I’m sorry#I’d have been so understanding and shut the fuck up#genuinely! I get it!#but I don’t see how you can have a friend#who is going through so much and none of it is under their control#who still manages to be there for everyone else when they’re having problems at home including you#who just once every few months needs to go ‘oh shit I need someone to talk to if you’re not busy rn/if you can deal w that atm’ in a LITERAL#CRISIS where they have no one else to lean on#and who will need support if they’re going to eventually leave home#and go ‘meh whatever I’m going to end the friendship in the worst and most damaging way I can think of lol’????#like?? everyone else around me is like oh just move on move on#but I’m just going over and over it in my head#How can you know the wounds and then drive the knife in anyway?#I don’t think people understand like I don’t let anyone close because this is what happens#and so to trust#more than you’ve ever trusted anyone ever#and have them suddenly disappear? without a word?
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cactusprisms · 1 year
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It’d be fun to write a character who has played the mmo ffxiv before being yeeted into the world. They get to have an existential crisis before hitting emet-selch in the face with a book when he pulls the “it isn’t murder because I don’t see you as real” schtick. They first met you as pixels on a screen jackass. They’ve only been in this world for a few years and you don’t see them trying to murder people. You’ve been here the whole time and they’re going to throttle you. Fucker.
and by fun I mean I’m already mentally writing it.
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simonstamenovic · 1 year
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last personal post for now because I keep getting more urges to Say Things and i know going around in circles out loud isnt any more productive than doing it privately despite how it may feel better.mosrly in tags
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snapbackslide · 2 years
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I am JUST now realizing that every single Montreal Canadiens game I've attended had Carey Price in net... and tonight is the first time that won't be the case 😭
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luvsavos · 4 months
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life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)
#mar.txt#vent? i guess?#again:girlhelp:#i need $120.25 still and of course i didnt get a job in time because why would things go my way and even if i do a bunch around the house#the money is due the day before my dad gets paid so that won't work#im panicking sort of to the point of being kind of nauseous from it haha#turning to art comms from my friends out of desperation but i don't think i'll get enough to cover the last bit of cost#not to mention the issue of my phone absolutely fucking sucks ass so i can't do digital art until i get a new one so any comms i DO have/get#will have to wait until i get a new phone for me to finish them and i know that's kind of A Problem which is why i'm only asking close#friends who i know won't be bothered by the idea of paying upfront then having to wait a little while for the finished product#though at least i can get the paper basic sketch done,since i draw the basic thing on paper then do more detail and whatnot digitally#idk if any of my moots wouldn't be bothered by that. i can promise i will get the full things done once i get a new phone. i'm just really#fucking desperate rn lmao god i fucking hate everything#i need to just. stop letting myself feel the emotion of excitement over Anything in the future. because when i do it always,ALWAYS goes#wrong. youd think id learn by now but no apparently im just too fucking stupid to#anyways. ill draw humanoids and i can try my absolute damndest at mh monsters even though i kind of struggle with anything but malzeno#practice makes perfect right? hahahahahaaa. fuck me.#not to be concerning on main but if this were me a few years ago i think at this point i'd be genuinely considering offing myself because i#am SO fucking tired of literally everything possible going wrong and even the things that are SUPPOSED to bring me some comfort or happiness#among the ocean of everything else ALSO going wrong#obviously the more money that could be tossed my way the better but hell i'll even do just paper sketch comms for a lower price i am#genuinely desperate because i really REALLY just want this ONE fucking thing to go right for me. god. just One thing.#alternatively if anyone wants to just. Give Me money. idk id feel bad about getting money without giving something in return but if anyone#WANTS to do that theyre free to as well. idk just dm me for my paypal if that or a shitty probably time-delayed comm sounds like smthn youd#be interested in??? even tho who am i kidding lmfao nobody will,that would be too good and i'm obviously just not fucking allowed to have#good things huh#ugh. sorry for the vent post Again. i swear we'll return to the usually scheduled funnyman stuff and ocposting. eventually. :/
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theghostofashton · 2 years
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#the past like two and a half weeks have just been job interview after job interview editorial test after editorial test#and i've been stuck in this permanent anxiety loop where i'm nauseous and shaky all the time and i can't relax ever#and it's just been fucking exhausting like i am so tired#and this recruiter emailed me last night after i had an interview yesterday saying i have my last one today and just#i got rejected from something i really wanted yesterday#and this job i'm interviewing rn i also really want like this is the dream the people are so wonderful the books are incredible#i want it so bad i'm so scared to fuck it up lol#fuck up the interview fuck up my chances whatever#it's just been like. the past few months have been hell and i want this to work so bad#i'm someone who hates change but i am begging for it rn i want my life to change#and i feel good about this but i also don't bc i can never trust my gut my anxiety is too bad for that#i just want things to work i want things to stop being hard i want the universe to do me this solid#also yeah this is why my fic hasn't been updated in a while i'm sorry lol#my life feels like an emotional rollercoaster atm and i just do not have the energy#all i've been doing other than panicking is watching lone star and feverishly reading fics like i don't feel like a person anymore lol#i want this interview to be over but i also just want to do well#idk what this is im just. i feel gross and i have to figure myself out so i can do this lol#delete later
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acey-wacey · 1 year
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Hi hi! Could I order a scenario of how Jade and Floyd would react to MC hiding behind them because they’re being chased by bullies?? Maybe grabbing onto the tweels (о´∀`о)
I like to think they’d be surprised of someone hiding BEHIND them instead of FROM them lol..
I'm a sucker for platonic tweels! This is my lifeline rn!!
...
Shrimpy Protection Agency
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Three of the more troublesome NRC seniors decided that they weren't too pleased with all the attention you were getting, having been in Twisted Wonderland for only a few months.
The students decided to corner you in the hallway, much to your surprise and demand that you apologize for the trouble you've stirred up.
When you refused, they accused you of being disrespectful and threatened to hurt you if you didn't start respecting your upperclassmen.
Through your fear, you managed to slip between the students and make a break for it.
You knew they were older, stronger, and faster than you so you wouldn't be able to outrun them.
Your only hope was to hide.
You frantically searched for a place to hide as you sprinted into the courtyard.
You were hoping someone would be there to stop the upperclassmen from pummeling you but it was empty.
No, not empty.
On the very far side of the courtyard, hidden in the shadows, the Leech twins stood, both looking mildly bored.
"Jade! Floyd!"
They both perked up upon hearing your voice.
What was excitement to see you, quickly became confusion as you ran to them and wrapped your arms around Floyd's torso from the back, shielding yourself from your pursuers.
Jade almost never showed his emotions on his face which made it all the more terrifying when his expression darkened as the bullies followed you to the courtyard.
All three of them stopped in their tracks when they saw the intimidating look on Jade's face, worsened by the wide-eyed and manic Floyd.
It wasn't usual to see either of them, especially Jade, without their signature customer service smile on, even when threatening someone, but when it came to you, there wasn't any pleasantry.
They didn't even try to pretend like your bullies weren't in danger.
"I will give you 5 seconds of silence before I begin my pursuit," whispered Jade, though the attackers heard him loud and clear in the echoey silence of the courtyard.
The one that appeared to be the leader scoffed and nervously chuckled.
"You're just a second-year. I'm not afraid of you. And I sure as he11 wouldn't need a headstart."
"Oh, you misunderstand," Floyd laughed, his eyes still crazed. "Five seconds wouldn't help you for a headstart. We're giving you a chance to pray to every God who'll bother to listen to a pathetic bottom-feeder like you."
"You're monsters!" one of the goons screeched after a few seconds of listening to their panicked breathing. Both twins just smiled in the same unsettling form.
"That bridge was burned a lot time ago, my friend," Jade chuckled menacingly before he went back to staring into the bullies' souls. "5."
"Listen, dude! We were just messing around!"
"4."
"Okay, you're seriously starting to freak me out!"
"Better get on that praying then. 3."
"I'm gonna... tell the headmaster!"
"Oh, I'm so scared. 2."
"Guys, let's get out of here!"
"That little shrimp isn't worth this."
"Only I get to call them that!" Floyd screamed after the goons as they stumbled over themselves to get away.
You could hear the bullies leaving but you still slayed firmly attached to Floyd.
"I'm a touch offended you didn't latch into me that way. Do you trust Floyd more than me?"
You looked up to see Jade smirking at you with his usual calm composure, much opposed to his "predator mode".
"I'm sorry," you sniffled, though you all knew you didn't really mean it. "Next time, I'll hide behind you instead."
"Oh, no, no, no, Shrimpy," Floyd glared at you. You could tell it wasn't directed at you specifically but it was still intimidating. "There's not going to be a next time."
"At least we can agree on that note, brother dearest," Jade mused, brushing a hair behind your ear. "We'll make sure no one will ever mess with you again, Y/N."
"What are you going to do?"
"Well, that's a secret," Jade put a finger to his lips and you could see the angry fire behind his eyes.
"You can hug me anytime you want though, Shrimpy!" Floyd chimed in cheerily. You laughed and leaned into his chest.
"Thank you so much. I don't know what I would've done with out you," you sighed and grabbed Jade's hand, tugging him into a group hug. "I love you. Both of you."
Jade wasn't usually particularly affection and Floyd didn't often practice restraint but both of them cared enough about you to just smother you in a brotherly hug, as long as it will make you happy.
Jade and Floyd made eye contact over your shoulder, making a silent agreement to break every bone in your bullies' bodies and make it look like an accident.
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iron-niffler · 2 years
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love packing to move into a dorm bc on the one hand i am getting the smallest appliances possible like a basic bare bones coffee maker for hot cocoa or tiny six can mini fridge (if i get one at all)...but on the other hand i have half a large cardboard box filled with yarn
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floydira · 6 months
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₊˚﹒✶﹒trolls headcanons .ᐟ
brozone, creek & king trollex with a reader going through a breakdown, overthinking and panicking and how they deal with them.
note ; I somehow(?) accidentally deleted the person's ask for this. I don't remember exactly what they asked word for word. (I'm down on my knees apologizing to you rn, I'm so sorry anon 🙏) so hopefully based on my memory this is at least close to what you asked for. I also hope this headcanon is to your liking.
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☆★﹒🎧 ﹐BROZONE
John Dory
erm. well. let's just say when it comes to dealing with other people's emotions, he's not really the best guy to depend on...
BUT considering he spent years by himself (and rhonda) with no other socialization, plus leaving his brothers behind and coming back to them after awhile out of conscious but seeing them nowhere to be found, he definitely felt lonely and HAD his own breakdowns before.
so he'd understand how you're feeling, or at least try to understand.
when he first saw you breaking down, his first instinct was to ask you questions "why are you breaking down?" "did something happen?"
if he doesn't get a reply from you, he'll respect your boundaries and not ask any further questions. he'll just focus on comforting you in the present, awkwardly patting your back and giving you words of affirmation that he thinks would work. like those motivational phrases or quotes online, maybe even those ones that facebook moms use.
if you do give a reply, he'll sit down next to you and hear you out. sipping a drink and lending his ears for you to vent. he'll keep quiet (internally, he's restraining himself from outing his own opinions on whatever you vented to him about).
In summary, he's a listener. If you let him voice his own opinions, he'll tell you his thoughts and views. more often than not, if he does give advice, it's probably best you don't actually follow them. I feel like he's bad at giving advice...
at least, he's got the spirit!
Spruce/Bruce
this troll has a wife and kids. I'm sure he's knowledgeable in comforting someone when they are breaking down or overthinks a lot.
if you're overthinking, he'll support you and keep you company but he's also honest that helps you actually evaluate your overthinking thoughts and not stress too much about them.
once you come to him looking vulnerable, he'll immediately try to soothe you by rubbing your back gently. yk like those back rubs that puts babies to sleep? yeah, he'll do that.
while he rubs your back, he urges you to take a deep breath and let it all out. so you do. unknowingly you ranted and ranted, every little detail spoken word to word. he just has that affect on people.
lets you know that what you're going through is valid.
once you're all done, he'll give you advice to ease you or if you're not looking for advice, he'll just comfort you until you feel better.
Clay
he literally is in a sad book club, he'll have the knowledge about it and how to deal with it. except...he's slightly bad at executing it.
he'll snap you out of overthinking by yelling positive stuff to you, that are actually...effective???
if you rant to him, he'll listen to you attentively and pat your head afterwards. it's just something natural that he does, honestly head pats are soothing ok.
if you're okay with physical touch, he'll caress your face while giving you actually reassuring words. (LIKE. have you SEEN him literally pinching and squishing branch's face when he first met him after 20 years?!) of course, it's effective, combined with his already nice vibe (I feel like he naturally has a healing presence, he's just a sweet little boring cutie)
his method of comforting you naturally makes you feel better. he doesn't have to try hard because just watching his body language and mannerisms are dorky enough that it'll make you smile. he's unknowingly comforting in a silly dorky way. even with how badly he persists to be a very "serious" guy.
he'll definitely give you a big warm hug after everything.
Floyd
he's literally called the sensitive one. out of the brothers, he's definitely the one who understands you the most.
I don't think I even need to explain, you already know how perfect he is with dealing with stuff like that. like the time he talked to veneer about how his sister treats him and how he shouldn't let her be like that to him.
his face is full of worry if he sees you in a vulnerable state.
he literally gives the best hugs, it's canon, I know it's canon.
this emo mf knows exactly the right words to get you out of your vulnerable state for a while (bc the phrases he gives to others are probably what he wants to hear given to him).
he'll be really patient with you and help you with every step along the way even if you're having a hard time changing your bad traits.
he's also attentive at listening, he'll caress your hands with his thumb with a reassuring smile.
he'll be really sweet at tackling your situation and never makes you feel overwhelmed.
will cry with you tbh.
he's kind of helping himself when he helps you, because he's similar in a way.
Branch
branch was quite the panicker himself during the times when bergens ate trolls.
so he'd also know how to help you deal with it because he understands you.
he had to figure it out himself and was mostly alone to deal with his own vulnerability so he's happy to help you.
he'll look calm, composed and collected externally but even he, himself is slightly panicking on the inside. afraid that he'll let you down or he won't be of much help. don't worry though, he has it all put together after a bit.
If you're panicking, he'll help you focus, calm down and ease your hyperventilation.
"concentrate on your breathing, okay?"
once you've calmed down, he'll provide you with reassuring words.
he'll keep you company and stay with you until you feel composed enough to talk about it with him. he'll lend you an ear.
afterwards, he pats you on the shoulder and gives you advice that worked on him before.
━━━━━━━━━━
Creek
as bad as he is, he's literally the best when it comes to relaxation. he has that zen-like wisdom, so he'll calm you down and help you relax if you're panicking or overthinking too much.
just like floyd, he also knows exactly what to say to reassure or cheer someone up.
he'll give you a more positive outlook on whatever happened to you so that you don't overthink it.
tbh his voice itself is enough to calm you down.
he encourages different methods and ways(that he knows of) to you that could help.
King Trollex
this sweet goober offers you all his emotional support.
he feels upset, if you're upset. he's all frowny when he sees you vulnerable.
"can I give you a hug?" ofc he asks for consent.
will hug you tightly (he thinks hugs are a remedy for everything, besides music), quiet sobs are heard as his face is smooshed against your chest. just like bruce, he'll also rub your back soothingly while hugging you.
Intertwines both of your hands and encourages you to put your thoughts into words so that he knows what's going on that head of yours that's overthinking a lot of stuff.
keeps eye contact with you as you rant to him.
"you can get through this." he'll say with his cute smile.
the most he can provide is listening and comfort. he wishes he could help you more.
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annahxredaxted · 5 months
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puhhhleasseeeeee David x Angel pregnancy headcannons 😫
NIYAHHHH HEYYY POOKIEE
of courseeee 🙇‍♀️
DAVID/ANGEL PREGNANCY HEADCANNONS
•afab reader— with gn pronouns
• pregnancy
david knew before they told him, he could smell it on them.
angel thought they were doing a good job hiding it before they told him.
after they did and noticed he was completely unfazed they were very concerned/confused
david was very excited but he was also nervous he’d be a bad dad.
very over-prepared, he started setting the nursery up maybe 3 weeks after they told him.
david will pass by things for babies in the store and discreetly put them in the cart, but when angel realizes he did they get all gushy and emotional.
very upset angel had so much morning sickness in the beginning, he would ache to see how much they were hurting.
HE WILL DELIVER TO EVERY SINGLE CRAVING!!
^ he does not care how stupid it may sound, if angel woke him up at 2am asking for beef fucking jerky you already know he’s up either in the kitchen or grabbing his car keys.
david rubs their belly all the time. sittings down? hand on the belly. in bed? belly rubs. in the car? belly.
david gets VERY upset if someone touches their belly/them at all if they don’t want to be touched.
^ will yell in the middle of a walmart/family gathering/in public etc,
foot massages, back massages, legs, back etc. if he can ease angels pain even a little bit he will not stop at mediocrity.
if angel is feeling insecure about their pregnancy body it actually makes david almost angry. not at them of course, but it’s the mentality of “your growing a kid, and you think i’m gonna be upset about a little more to love?”
david goes to every doctors, very attentive, asking a bunch of questions, writing things down, making sure angel does everything the doctor recommends.
^ he will and has cancelled meetings/ jobs to be at an appointment.
legitimately was panicking when their water broke, angel was just sitting there like: 🧍‍♂️.. while he was: 😱😧😦
he collected himself eventually to drive to the hospital
held their hand the whole time, he was a bit queasy by the end of it.
cried when baby shaw was born, held the baby close and did skin to skin almost immediately (like took his fucking shirt off)
he was scared to have sex for a while, he didn’t want to hurt angel, and they probably waited 4ish months, but even then he was extremely gentle.
in the beginning david refused to let angel get up when the baby cried
david cried when he had to go back to work for the first time since baby shaw.
spent the whole day after work with the baby(made dinner, did dishes etc with those things that wrap the baby to his chest)
•••
that’s all i got rn🤓🤓
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ya-zz · 8 months
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Can I request some headcanons with Cassidy, Hanzo and Reaper? Of them holding their newborn baby for the first time? The baby fever is going crazy feral for me rn
I thought I would've gotten to this sooner, but hello, it is finally here!
This was such a cute concept and I'm really glad I got to do this and to finish it! Thank you for the patience ♥
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CASSIDY
He panicked when you mentioned you were going into labour, words fumbling out his mouth in incoherent sentences that made you question whether or not he was okay.
He was there with you the entire time you were giving birth, holding your hand, moving the stuck hair from your face, wiping the sweat off of your forehead.
He never once let go of you, wanting nothing more than to soothe you throughout the entire process. 
When the moment arrived, a screaming and crying baby in the nurses hands, Cassidy immediately felt the relief run through him. 
“I am proud of you, honey.” 
“You’re okay. Everything is fine.” 
When the nurses eventually handed the small infant over to you, he witnessed your features getting soft, tears pricking your eyes once more. They weren’t painful tears, but rather tears of love. 
The baby continued to cry for a minute or two longer as the conversation around the room continued.
Cassidy sat on the edge of the bed, hand still holding yours, watching you as you admired the soft bundle in your arms
When you turned to him with a smile on your face and asked if he wanted to hold his child, his heart almost stopped. 
He had felt overwhelmed before, but this time it felt different. 
His child was in his arms, bundled up in a soft blanket.
The cries had stopped, soft noises being made and when their eyes opened, looking at the cowboy, Cassidy felt the entire room spin. 
Finally, another reason to fall in love all over again.
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HANZO
Hanzo was careful throughout every stage of the pregnancy. He’d listen to you, and get you everything and anything had wanted and needed. 
The moment Hanzo saw you grimace in pain, he knew exactly what was coming.
He was quick on his feet to get you over to medbay, hand never leaving yours as he helped you settle onto the bed.
The entire time he would whisper to you, sweet little words and praises to flood your mind and to take it off of the pain you were experiencing. 
“Stay calm, sweetheart.”
“My love… You are doing amazingly.”
He would keep his fingers laced with yours all throughout the birth of your child. 
The moment that new life was brought into the world, your hand squeezed your partners hand tightly, the relief flooding through your body.
His heart fluttered as the nurses brought the newborn over to you and him. 
Every emotion was heightened when he saw you hold the small bundle and when you offered for him to hold the baby, his eyes widened.��
His hands were gentle as he took the bundle to his chest, gently rocking his arms. 
He was almost a natural, and when the cries calmed down, he chuckled. 
Hanzo saw the pride within your face as you turned to look at him. The love for you and his child was overflowing.
The archer had another reason to keep fighting. To keep living.
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REAPER
Everything changed rather quickly the moment you became pregnant.
The cold demeanour was suddenly calm and caring, something of which was what you needed during the pregnancy. 
When labour came around and pain was surging, Reyes moved fast, carrying you to the medbay.
He was worried and rightly so as you cried out in pain. 
Reyes kept his hand on your forehead, soothing what pained emotions you were receiving and letting out. 
Your body was on fire for your partner did what he could to make sure you were pain-free as possible.
“Stay calm, You’re doing good.”
“Almost there, don’t worry, you’re doing well.”
He listened to your cries and it pained him, but the moment that it fell silent and another cry was heard, Reyes felt warm.
His heart felt bigger as he watched you hold your newborn baby.
Tears spilled from your eyes, Reyes moved his hand to cup your cheek, thumb caressing the warm and damp flesh.
When you held out your newborn to your partner, he hesitated, but his arms opened up and accepted the small bundle of newborn joy.
His eyes softened and he smiled, a genuine smile that made your own heart flutter with joy. 
Reyes was happy. He was in love. 
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toointojoelmiller · 9 months
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Today I’m in my feels over: The bus scene
🫠 things that get me SO emotional and have me crying at my desk rn:
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Ellie can’t swim. She jumps right onto that bus with no hesitation to save Joel - if he goes down, she’s going with him. The love she has for him 😭 it also demonstrates Ellie’s selflessness - yeah, she would probably die for humanity. But she would also die for just one person she loves 😭
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Joel’s reaction the second that the bus jolts to the side and he realizes she’s about to get knocked off of it - he immediately goes from trying not to drown / trying to grab onto her to get himself out, to PANICKING, desperate for her to grab onto him - “give me your hand - give me your hand before -” 😭 Troy’s voice performance here is 💔
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Obviously him trying to resuscitate her is 😭 and how he doesn’t stop - Fireflies can threaten him with as many guns as they want, nothing is stopping him from saving his girl
I know this didn’t fit with how grounded the HBO adaptation is, but this is my fav game scene that we didn’t get and I do wish we had it.
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poppy-metal · 6 months
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okay but if mafia!jordan exists What is their breaking point where you feel dumb and demeaned but something Happens that threatens you/your safety and they lose their mind and oopsie maybe they actually care about you
heheheheh cracks my knuckles.
dk how many words this is but a little more than a drabble so under a cut.
also warning the word r*pe is mentioned ( not executed) - this is a mafia au so dark shit should be pretty obvious.
you probably get lost one night, like you manage to slip past your constant gaurds while you're out because you've never really been out - you just wanna explore a little. the threat of being recognized and hurt doesn't even register to you.
n jordan has kept a leash on you but its a pretty loose one, trying not to care about you - trying not to fall. thinking it means they're giving up a part of themselves if they do. that's why they're mean to you. but they let you go out - with gaurds - because they're not a fucking dictator. when they come back though, panicked and worried because you were there one moment and then gone the next jordan feels a sense of panic they've never felt before. and not because losing you would look bad on them, genuine fear chills their blood. worse case scenario running through their head - you've been kidnapped, you're tied up and drugged in the back of some guys car rn, you're already dead, you've been sold to sex trafficking ring, just the thought of you being touched makes them grip their gun and empty the clip in the gaurds heads - just for letting it happen.
they call you - again and again and again. (your phone is dead and you forgot to charge it.) jordan has their staff and their close friends and anyone else they can call out looking for you while they pace back and forth, hands gripping at their dark hair, yanking it out of style, making it erratic and messy. biting their nails, kicking their desk. blood pumping faster than it ever has before. they think about never seeing you again, or of seeing your corpse and they wanna be sick. they think of your sweet smile and how you find things every day to be chipper about even when jordan has been a dick to you. god, they want to put a bullet in their own skull. thinking of you being alone and frightened. they're supposed to protect you, goddammit.
cut to you strolling through the doors to jordans study three hours later - buzzing with contentment because you'd gone to the new mall that opened! "jordy!" you call, bumbling into the open door, not catching the serious atmosphere because you're looking down at the bags in your arms. "you know that new mall that opened i told you about the other day? i went! and i got you something-"
when jordan hears your sweet voice they stop dead in the middle of the room. just kinda staring at you in slack jawed amazement. alive and well and back at home, your home together, where you should be, with a flush to your cheeks from the cold weather and a smile on your lips. alive and not dead. not hurt.
you're cut off from speaking with an oompth as jordan strides across the room and crushes you to them, one hand coming up to cup the back of your head, the other around your waist. your face immediately fits against the crook of their neck and your body kinda melts on instinct. you drop the bags to the floor and return the embrace immediately, you dont know why its happening, but the soldid warmth of jordan all around you makes you liquid. when your arms tentatively wrap around their waist, you feel jordan shudder against you, their grip becoming almost painful.
"jordan?" you ask softly. you're not complaining but this is certainly out of character.
they pull back, and its like their eyes cant skan over you fast enough - in their mind they're checking for injuries. but you look okay.
"fuck." they say and it echoes through the room. more emotion packed into that one curse than they've ever showed toward you. they run a hand down their jaw, "fuck."
you blink, noticing the tension now. glancing around the room. it just registers now who the mansion was empty when you came home. usually someone would have been there to greet you, take your bags.
"where is everyone? why is it so quiet?"
jordans hand starts to shake and they have to shake it out, flex their fingers so they dont - they dont know. strangle you? grab you and kiss the fuck out of you?
"you went to the mall." they say it slowly and deliberately.
you nod enthusiasticlly.
jordan breathes out very slowly, chest expanding.
"you ditched your gaurds."
ah.
"they were hovering!" you pout, "I know they're supposed to, but i didn't want two hulking men following me into -" here you squirm a little, getting flustered. jordan is staring blankly at you. "following me into the uh, feminine stores. it was just for a few hours though! I'll apologize to them-"
"they're dead."
"what?"
"i shot them."
"jordan-" you gasp, stomach dropping. guilt filling your lungs. tears sting your eyes immediately. "but - i didn't mean -"
"do you know what happens to mafia wives when another family finds them alone." jordans looking at their hands now, rolling a ring around their finger. their birth stone. they dont wait for you to reply, "they get shot if they're lucky - but that's usually not the case. waste of good blackmail. usually its beatings - rape is most definite. cut off limbs to send to her husband or her father as a threat or a gloat. sometimes they keep them alive, sex traffikers aren't picky after all. most of the time though, the rest of what's left gets dumped in the ocean."
a hand comes up to cover your mouth, shaking. you knew it was a dangerous idea, but. you didn't think - you didn't feel under threat. and now people are dead because of you? your bottom lip trembles. you dont know what to say.
you think jordan might really kill you, with the way they're talking, so when they reach out and tip your chin up, you flinch a little.
you're shocked to find fire in jordans eyes. every other time jordan has been pissed at you - its been ice.
"you made me -" their jaw works. "you worried the hell out of me today. do you understand what i was thinking? what could have happened to you... shit."
their grip tightens to the point of pain and tears fill your eyes again, but not from that. from your own guilt.
"im sorry," you whisper. "i didn't mean to."
"that can't fucking happen again."
you nod, a bobble head. but their gaze hardens and you squeak when their hand slides from your jaw to wrap around your delicate throat. they back you up against the wall. their eyes still blazing, two dark coals glaring down at you with so much passion you feel your cunt pulse between your legs. you can't help it.
"no. not a fucking nod, mouse. that shits not happening a second time - or I'll fucking be the one to kill you. do you understand?"
you tremble. gasp when you feel their rings dig into your skin.
"words. use them."
"yes," you eek out, wondering whats wrong with you that you're getting wetter. "yes i understand, jordan. im sorry."
their eyes flick to the bags at their feet. "go upstairs." they let you go, but dont step back. "I'll deal with you later. i have about twenty fucking phone calls to make."
you squeeze by them, gulping when your hard nipples brush against their chest. running upstairs like theres a flame under your ass. little do you know, your ass WILL be flaming later, but for a different reason.
when you're gone jordan visibly slumps in relief. putting their head in their hands for a second to calm the fuck down, to quell the desire to go upstairs after you and beat your ass with a belt for worrying them so fucking much. they dont trust themselves right now to not break you.
oh. you'll be punished. but if today has taught them anything, its that they want you in one piece.
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