#episode 3: one story. one deal. two idiots.

[skeletoninthemelonland]

[akirathedramaqueen]

There's one piece of concept art that made me see the entire Apology Tour disaster in a different light.

So, we've been talking with @warblogs17282 about Stolitz and how their break-up ended up playing out in the 'Apology Tour' episode.

Why ended up? Well, there's a collection of concept art which, to my limited understanding of this craft, is one of the first steps in the production process of animation. This post by @birdy-babe includes a great chunk of it, shared by artists after the episodes aired (like storyboards, but much more stylised, showing how different some original ideas were). Long story short, one of the concept arts from the 'Apology Tour' episode suggests their quarrel was originally meant to be much harsher.

A short summary of the concept art to see what we are dealing with

In the background, you see a lot of apology postcards and silly cutesy stationery, suggesting Blitzø is in the middle of his Apology Tour.

The contact name isn't 'Stols' but 'Bird Dick,' implying their relationship is at an earlier stage, with less respect—at least on Blitzø's part.

There's a photo partially cut by the edge of the messages screen. From the signature gloves and boots, cowboy hat covering Blitzø's private parts, and visible nipples, it appears to be a nude image—replaced in later stages of development with stupid gay affirmation memes (as hard as it is to believe, I couldn't imagine there could be anything worse than the Striker horse gay jokes... well, it could, my dudes, it fucking COULD).

There are three messages, one of which is unsent:

"Stolas, cum awwwwwwn, u no u want it :)"—likely attached to the nude;

"Dude just talk to me"—desperation crawls in; he finally realises the shit has hit the fan;

"Im sowwy :("—an apology, but the text remains unsent, perhaps because it seems pointless, given that the 'Not Delivered' notifications and warning signs indicate Stolas has blocked his number.

Why do I find this fascinating, and why does it fill me with immense hope?

Because they still fucking care so much, and neither has completely closed the door on the other. By comparing the concept art to the final product, you can see how many intentional choices were made in dialogue, visuals, and behaviour to make it clear that these two idiots still want things to continue. Stolitz is meant to fucking live.

Now, if you want to see some comparisons—evidence, really—let's dive into each other's changes, focusing on what we can gather from the concept art.

Blitzø's side

Change 1—thank gods, no nudes. The gay memes are sillier and a bit lighter. Of course, they still showcase utter disrespect, a horrible prejudice against sexuality, and a poor understanding of how deeply Stolas was hurt, but I find them... less bad.

Change 2—no more 'Bird Dick.' Blitzø has actually come up with a real nickname for Stolas! Feelings are boring for you, huh, Blitzø? I can almost hear the song’s lines: "O-oh, hooked, addicted you might say, conflicted in a way…"

Change 3—Blitzø's attempts to apologize now show much more contemplation. Since Stolas hasn’t blocked him, Blitzø knows his words aren’t just being thrown into the void. Although the 'unsent' detail remains, it now carries real weight and impact.

All three changes are seen in these two GIFs.

He knows he did wrong. He knows he wants to salvage it. He might not yet know how to do it healthily, but he tries—he tries so fucking hard!

Look at the range of raw, cutting emotions as he speaks to Stolas and finally delivers his apology—probably the only one he genuinely meant. Well, maybe except for Verosika, a bit later.

It's not that it's hard for Blitzø to say 'sorry'—we've seen him do it a lot lately. He's actually quick to apologise and take responsibility, so Stolas's remark about him not feeling any remorse couldn’t be further from the truth. But the fact that he isn't running away this time—chasing after Stolas and trying his best to mend things—is drastically different from how he treated Verosika back then.

Stolas's side

Here’s the moment that struck me deep. It’s the only change, since the concept art shows Blitzø’s POV, but it’s such a significant one.

Do you think Stolas has moved on? Do you think he’s done with Blitzø? Not convinced, even when he’s literally singing about still wanting Blitzø?

Well, here’s your proof—he didn’t block Blitzø. They scrapped that.

More than that, the entire interaction emphasizes that Stolas isn’t pushing Blitzø away for good.

How do I know this? Stolas is very insistent on using phrases like 'for now,' 'right now,' and 'now' throughout his attempts to tell Blitzø off.

Here are some citations:

"I was hoping my lack of 'ha-ha's' in response to the photos you sent me would be an indicator I didn't want to talk right now."

"Seeing you right now is hard!"

"I'm tired of this! I'm uncomfortable with how you're speaking to me now!"

Why is this so important? Because he isn’t asking Blitzø to leave him forever. All he’s asking for is time.

Even while hurt, Stolas gives Blitzø plenty of chances to explain himself civilly. Look at the hopeful glances each time Blitzø shows any glimpse of genuineness.

Stolas fucking hopes Blitzø will take back all the cruel things said and brash actions done.

You know, Stolas... I've spent the entirety of this morning listening to love ballads, and that was...

For what?! You want me to be like, "Oh sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me and I've let my self-hatred stop me from apologising to anyone I could ever care about!"

You see the furrowed brows and the sad look? Stolas hopes for the best... but gets the worst because Blitzø isn’t there yet.

I’d even go so far as to say Stolas is acutely aware that Blitzø uses his brashness as a shield to protect himself. He literally sang about it in 'Just Look My Way.'

Unless it's me? And no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through these walls you've conjured up to live.

So, what gives?

Is this the behaviour of people who want to give up on a relationship they still clearly hold dear?

No. Even when they’re angry, aggressive, hurt, or drunk, they still seek understanding and forgiveness. They continue to listen and try.

They might lack the skills and may choose the wrong time, place, or words to express what truly matters...

One person, scared of being rejected so much that he unconsciously conveys this message by saying, "You don’t have to stay here with me," and carrying it throughout the whole conversation...

The other, coming to terms with his feelings, admits them, and his fears, a bit too late—when his romantic interest is too drunk to comprehend anything…

And in both cases—self-loathing, self-hatred, doubts, scars, trauma… and a lack of hope.

But there is hope. No, this is reassurance, my folks.

You know when it's hardest to stay in a relationship? When it’s hardest to come and say, "I am sorry," when it’s hardest to still love the person?

When you’re hurt. When they’ve hurt you.

And, despite that, you still come to them and still want to talk to them.

If this isn’t ironclad evidence that this is more than just a fling or a couple of fun sex dates, I don’t know what is.

And the 'Apology Tour' fucking proves it, rather than ruins it. It only strengthens the point. It’s easy to live in happiness, but it’s so hard to go through it while you’re in pain. When you see them doing that, you realise it means everything to them.

Stolitz is to live.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 Ranked (Part 2)

Part 1

(This site's stupid 30 images per post forced me to do this, so thanks for nothing, Tumblr)

#14: Transmission

I swear, I'm not doing these on purpose. This is just how I've been ranking the episodes.

Like I said in the last part, this episode just did not need to happen. The first half is cheap melodrama between Marinette and Adrien and the second half is a run of the mill Akuma fight with two different heroes. This is the story that seriously warranted two parts this season?

I just can't stand the fact that Marinette and Adrien gave up their Miraculous so easily here. Maybe if it was Season 2, Season 3 at the latest, I'd buy it, but near the middle of Season 5? They honestly view their love lives as more important than the battle with Monarch. If it was anything else like the stress or physical danger, I'd also be understanding, but Tikki and Plagg decide that Marinette and Adrien are so miserable that they need to be happy by losing their Miraculous without a fight. Remember, this was just two episodes after “Reunion”, which showed Joan of Arc was a Miraculous holder. So fighting in the Hundred Years' War didn't get so much as an ounce of concern from Tikki, but teenage angst is too much for her little heart to bear?

Maybe it's the benefit of knowing this won't be permanent, but the issue I have is how much the show draws this out for so long, as if the audience is supposed to buy it. “It's really happening, guys! Ladybug and Cat Noir won't be the stars anymore, we swear!” This kind of plot can work under the right circumstances. All you needed to do is at the very least, make it something they choose to do instead of their Kwamis taking their Miraculous away so we can see them weigh the benefits of giving up life as a superhero in ways that aren't exclusively about their love lives. I'd even buy it if it's something Ladybug and Cat Noir actually agreed on before quitting.

While I can sort of get Alya becoming Scarabella due to her experience with the Ladybug (even if she chose to give up using any Miraculous at the end of Season 4), Zoe getting the Cat just feels like the writers put a bunch of names in a hat and picked hers. The two just don't have as compelling a dynamic as Ladybug and Cat Noir do, because they don't get a lot of time to know each other. Alya and Zoe have almost never interact with each other, so the masks don't really shake up their relationship, because there's no relationship to speak of.

Also, the Akuma here was really forced. We know nothing about this new character while the show acts like we're supposed to know who he is based on some minor hints with Nora calling earlier. While I will give the show credit for arguably giving us the most powerful Akuma of all time due to being both a man and a bear, he's as forgettable as a villain as Kitty Noire is as a hero.

Just about nobody here comes out smelling like roses in this episode. The Kwamis are morons for caring about one ship becoming canon, Marinette and Adrien are selfish cowards for giving up their Miraculous with little hesitation, their friends are ignorant buffoons for thinking some random attempt to get Marinette and Adrien to talk will somehow seal the deal, and Alya and Zoe are idiots for not thinking that they should take off the shiny ring that tracks their every movement. It's a terrible episode, and the only reason why “Deflagration” is ranked higher is because it didn't irritate me as much as this one did.

#15: Determination

And now we're onto the really bad episodes this season.

This episode is pretty much what you've come to expect by Season 5. People keep forcing Marinette into situations she's clearly uncomfortable, and we're supposed to just laugh at her anxiety, because we still have eight episodes to go before the show decides to take her mental health seriously.

What makes this episode really sting for me is that it's Luka and Kagami that are forcing Marinette into these unfunny antics this time. For the most part, they never really stooped to this level and didn't try to force anything with their respective love interests until they had trouble in their relationships that required them to communicate. But now, even though one knows Marinette and Adrien are superheroes while the other is usually very blunt with her feelings (at least, before she became this season's next victim), they're going to try forcing Marinette and Adrien to spend time together even they both know they have feelings for each other and MY GOD, THIS IS SO STUPID! It's just a cheap excuse for more pointless shenanigans that stopped being funny years ago.

Yet somehow, that's not the worst of the Love Square drama this episode. It's here where we learn that Adrien fell in love with Marinette over a season ago, during a scene where she violated his personal space. In addition, Adrien somehow showed no signs of attraction to Marinette until the plot demanded it, and came right after another episode showing him falling for her. Why not make it the fake confession Marinette practiced with Cat Noir in “Glaciator 2”? The kiss Marinette gave Adrien at the end of “Heroes' Day”? I'd even take another umbrella scene callback like in “Mr. Pigeon 72”. But no, it's the statue scene that the writers decided on. It's like they noticed all the criticism Marinette got in that episode and were like “Joke's on you! Adrien actually liked being lusted over like an object!”.

And then the masks come on and make things even more convoluted. Adrien at least got to reflect on the events of a previous episode to explain his new feelings for Marinette, but what caused Ladybug to suddenly fall for Cat Noir after four seasons?

The writers don't even bother with an explanation for this. Ladybug spontaneously becomes attracted to Cat Noir with absolutely no foreshadowing, buildup, or even callbacks to earlier episodes. The writers either wanted to complicate things one last time before Adrienette became canon, they wanted to bury the Ladynoir conflict arc from last season in the sand, or the most likely option, a combination of both.

The idea of the public turning on Ladybug was an interesting one to take, seeing how she's been universally beloved for the past four seasons. But despite hinting at it in “Multiplication”, this is the farthest is goes, and even then, guess who's behind it? You can't keep raising points against the main characters if it's only Chloe who does it. It doesn't open debate on the story and essentially tells the audience that they're wrong to agree with her, no matter what kind of point she makes.

As dumb as the way it happened was, Ladybug still screwed up and endangered the city by losing the other Miraculous, but we can't actually challenge children by acknowledging that the hero actually did something wrong and needs to grow as a person. We need to use a recurring character as a strawman to tell the audience that only bad people think this way! Way to remove any interesting internal conflict, writers.

The Akuma was pretty weak, just being an older Puppeteer, down to using wax statues like what happened in “Puppeteer 2”. The army of wax heroes could have been interesting, but there wasn't enough time to do much with the idea. The one thing I liked was how the Ox Miraculous' Resistance was used. It felt like an upgrade instead of a core power Manipula got.

This episode pretty much set the stage for a new level of frustrating Love Square drama this season, and it was one of the season's first outright awful episodes.

#16: Conformation

The only reason this episode isn't at the bottom is because the rest of the ones on this list are far worse by comparison. Make of that what you will.

Like most season finales, this one continues the tradition of being better at buildup than actual execution. Gabriel's plan is pretty decent, even if it's just Heroes Day on a global scale. He utilizes his public influence and business skills to plan out a plan to get almost all of humanity working for him. While I don't like the Miraculized, I still think Gabriel being on top works here, especially since he's not going out into the field like the last three finales.

But other than an okay evil plan, this episode is still pretty bad. Marinette being infected with nightmare dust only happens to get her to the Agreste manor because the writers forgot that Marinette learned Gabriel was Monarch last episode. It could have been a decent way to up the stakes by showing Ladybug not being at 100%, but like everyone else, she just fights off the nightmare dust and doesn't have a single problem during her fight with Monarch. In general, the nightmare dust isn't really utilized well, only being an excuse to bring out the Miraculized. It doesn't impact everyone fighting off the Miraculized, and there's no lesson or theme about fear that's conveyed here.

Speaking of nightmare dust, I'm pretty sure the only reason why it was introduced in the first place was to bench Adrien, which is still easily one of the dumbest decisions the show has ever made. While everyone else had no problem resisting the nightmare dust, Adrien is just physically incapable of doing so because of some half-assed character arc the show pretended happened. So either Adrien got a more potent dosage of the nightmare dust, or Adrien's just too weak to actually overcome his fears. “Sandboy”? Never heard of it! The fact that the writers also tried to claim they were being subversive with fairy tale tropes and cliches didn't help, since it devalues Adrien as a character even further. He's not a superhero and Ladybug's closest ally. He's just some damsel in distress who needs to be saved. Let me just remind you, if the genders were reversed, this would not be seen as some bold move, but the same overused cliche trying to be something new.

I already talked about my problems with Nathalie in “Passion”, and the stuff she does here isn't really different. Despite enabling Gabriel for five seasons, the episode has the balls to act like Nathalie always had morals and is appalled by Gabriel planning to sacrifice someone to save his wife. Just remember, “Passion” established that Nathalie had a history as a treasure hunter, so this is like Indiana Jones not knowing what the Holy Grail does. Nathalie only got dumber than in “Passion” because she somehow thought she could take on a supervillain with nothing but a crossbow and a body that already has one foot in the grave. And just like Felix, Nathalie can't even apologize to Ladybug for the aiding and abetting a terrorist thing. Between Nathalie, Felix, and Gabriel, does using the Peacock Miraculous just make you an idiot?

While the buildup is decent, it's just not enough to really get audiences excited for the second part.

#17: Representation

This episode is yet another example of the show's double standards.

Without going into detail too much, this episode came right after “Revolution”, the one that essentially portrayed Audrey taking control of Chloe's life as a karmic punishment. What happens in this episode? We learn Felix's father literally took control of his life and it's portrayed as wrong as child abuse should be. That's why this episode is still better than “Revolution”. It at the very least understands how serious child abuse is, and tries to tell Felix's story with as much dignity as two teenagers in white onesies can have.

With that being said, there's a reason why this episode is as low as it is. The Sentimonster play used to tell Marinette about Felix is just so stupid. The sets and costumes look ridiculous, it's hard to take the story seriously with Felix and Kagami doing all the voices, and most of it is unnecessary since the whole point is to tell Marinette that Gabriel is Monarch... something that the writers decided she needed to find out on her own in the next episode. It comes across less like Felix trying to alert Ladybug to who Monarch really is and more like he's just trying to justify his own actions. Hell, the actual reason he decided to tell Marinette about Gabriel was because he and Kagami were worried about their own relationship being ruined by him. And yet somehow, Ladybug lets him on the team at the end of the season.

The stuff with Adrien was also pretty dumb. It's cheap fanservice that reminds the audience of Cat Blanc when none of the characters should know who Cat Blanc is. You can call him Anticat all you want, but everyone can see that he's just Cat Blanc with blue hair. It's bad enough that this was what all the times Cat Noir almost Cataclysming people this season was meant to lead up to, but this is pretty much the reason why Adrien is benched during the finale.

This episode really shows how desperate the writers are to make people take this show seriously by showing serious topics like genocide and child abuse, as if the show didn't already ignore the horrible implications previous episodes (like the very last one before this) raised and will continue to raise during the season finale. So much of the episode is just dark for the sake of being dark. It's nothing too horrifying for children, of course, but the issue is how obvious it is that the writers are trying to raise the stakes right before the season finale and show how mature the show's writing is. For lack of a better term, it's this show's equivalent to “Ow The Edge”.

#18: Revelation

Get ready for the episode where the writers abandon all attempts to be subtle and create an episode specifically to attack people who think Chloe isn't the most evil character on the show. Because how dare they be optimistic and try to see the good in people! What do they think this is, a kids' show?

While a big problem with the Lila episodes was how stupid the class is, this episode made it so Marinette got to join in on losing brain cells too. Despite outright admitting to neglecting her duties as class representative (as absurd as it is to be in charge of notifying teachers about student progress they should be aware of), we're supposed to agree with her for not telling her teacher about Chloe cheating. Not only does this make no sense since you'd think Marinette would want to see Chloe get punished, but her claiming that all Chloe does is abuse her privileges loses any point to it because Marinette admitted to not doing her job as class representative, making her just as lazy as Chloe and unintentionally helping her through not telling the teachers. And that's not even getting into how many times Marinette has broken the secret identity rule despite also being the one to enforce it the most as the Guardian.

If the episode at least admitted to Marinette having personal issues that prevented her from displaying any form of professionalism towards Chloe (especially since this episode takes place after “Derision”), that'd be fine. Sometimes, people just can't let bygones be bygones and let their emotions dictate how they handle things. If she willingly resigned from her position by admitting she was just as at fault for Chloe getting as far as she did with her cheating, that would have worked. Instead, the episode does the same things it did with Adrien for the last few seasons: Go out of its way to vindicate Marinette's complaining and never even consider the idea of her being wrong in the slightest.

It's also hilarious to see Ms. Bustier act like an actual teacher for once and plan to work with Chloe to help make up her missed work, but portray it as a bad thing because in Marinette's eyes, that's not a punishment. Since the school year is almost over, Chloe will have to attend summer school at best and be held back or even expelled at worst. How the hell does that not count as a punishment, Marinette?

And don't forget how she gets not one, but two separate scenes insulting people for being idealistic and not wanting to write off people as beyond saving, the second one being copied from Astruc's Twittter.

And remember, this was right before a string of episodes where characters were able to change their ways, including Sabrina (Chloe's accomplice), Andre (Chloe's enabler), and Gabriel (Chloe's supervillain contact). How the hell is Chloe the only one being written off as irredeemable when she didn't pull off any of her evil plans without help? You can still punish Chloe. All I want is for the other characters to be punished as well.

But let's talk about the main event for this episode: Lila. In one of the most confusing “twists” in the show's history, she's now an identity thief who lives with three different mothers. Why? Because the writers have no idea how to hype people up for her being the main villain for Season 6, so they think just making her mysterious for the sake of making her mysterious is enough to build her up as a villain. It's like the writers realized Lila had absolutely zero resources of her own, so they felt like they needed to establish her as an evil genius to compensate. “Who cares if there's no logical explanation for how she's gotten as far as she has despite constantly boasting about her celebrity connections in public? We have to make her vague and mysterious, damn it! It worked for Judas Traveller and Kaine, didn't it?”

This episode takes multiple shots at fans and tries to make Lila seem more compelling than she actually is. It feels more like damage control than an actual plot-relevant episode.

#19: Illusion

Want to see the main characters acting like idiots for almost a half-hour? No? Too bad!

So much of this episode's conflict, the characters trying to investigate a possible lead related to Monarch, comes from everyone making stupid decisions. Nino tries to get one of the most influencial men in Paris akumatized, talks about it in public, falls for his trick, and lets him into his secret alliance. This season really cemented his role as the Zapp Brannigan of Miraculous Ladybug with how incompetent he is. If you really want to start portraying Nino as a tactical genius, maybe you should actually show him doing something smart instead of getting outsmarted by obvious tricks.

Of course, the other characters aren't immune to Nino's stupidity either. Marinette, Adrien, and Alya just go along with his asinine plan to get Gabriel akumatized, never question his logic, and ultimately still go along with the Resistance despite how obnoxious their leader is. The worst part is Ladybug not recognizing her own partner being stung by Venom... when they're fighting someone with access to over a dozen Miraculous. I know Cat Noir was born with glass bones and paper skin, but I don't think he literally freezes in terror when he's scared. And of course, Ladybug never questions the tiny invisible men who stunned Cat Noir after this scene.

The cafeteria scene is something that should really be cited as an example of how terrible this show is with acknowledging continuity. You thought there would be some compelling drama discussing the secret identity rule and all the double standards it has? NOPE! It's a funny joke about how confusing the identity stuff is at this point. The fact that Nino somehow doesn't understand the concept of secret identities in this scene is yet another reason as to why he isn't even qualified to lead an anime club, much less a resistance against Monarch.

The idea of Monarch using an illusion to fight Ladybug and Cat Noir was an interesting one, but it still had some holes. For one thing, what if the two heroes can't dodge one of the illusion Collector's attacks? What if they're fast enough to try tying him up, only to dispel the illusion? The entire plan pretty much relies on the fact that Ladybug and Cat Noir are too slow to catch the Collector.

But one scene that has only become more questionable after the finale is Ladybug trying to reach through to the illusion Collector. Like several episodes this season, it comes across like the show is spitting on idealism and wanting to solve problems peacefully because Monarch tricked Ladybug into believing he willingly rejected an Akuma. Remember kids, if someone says they want to change, it's really a trick as part of an evil supervillain's plan to maintain his secret identity.

This episode is like a microcosm of everything wrong with Season 5. Poor morals, characters acting like idiots, shooting down any potential for plot development, and being told characters are right when their actions say otherwise.

#20: Confrontation

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the episode where the writers just gave up.

There is just so much that happens in this episode that the writers cram in. There's Marinette's “final” confrontation with Lila, the battle with Reflekta, Sabrina's redemption, Juleka's character development, Ms. Bustier's character development, Mr. Damocles' character development, and the reveal of Lila's true nature. I don't think I need to tell you that the writers struggle to make all of these plot threads work in less than a half-hour.

First off, Marinette and Lila. The previous episode implied that Marinette let Lila have this short-term victory because she had her own plan to expose her. This episode puts that plan into action. See, she has the genius idea of going along with submitting school application forms to Lila and Chloe with no actual countermeasure in place, waiting for Sabrina to have a sudden change of heart so they can work together to expose Lila and Chloe through a bathroom peephole. This is the kind of tactical intelligence that will be studied in the history books, let me tell you. There's just no weight to Marinette and Lila's final battle of wits because there isn't any. There's no series of gambits or scenarios that actually pit their minds against each other, so you don't get a lot of satisfaction from Marinette's triumph over Lila. It doesn't help that there's more focus on Sabrina than on Marinette, but I'll get to that later. Even the actual payoff is anti-climactic. Most of the class' apology to Marinette was deleted because Mr. Damocles using a Magical Charm shield was just too important to leave on the cutting room floor according to the writers.

This episode really shows just how Marinette's classmates are like NPCs in the Lila-centric stories. They don't second guess Lila's accusations due to their past experiences with Marinette, and as soon as Marinette's name is cleared, they instantly apologize to her and don't even think about how easily they were fooled by Lila and Chloe. The worst example is Alya, Marinette's confidant and someone who was trusted to temporarily use the Ladybug Miraculous last episode, falling for this and not trusting Marinette. My sister in Christ, your friend goes out and saves lives on a weekly basis at least. How can you fall for Lila's story? This is why I think the Lila episodes should have all been set pre-Season 4, so Alya falling for Lila's lies is a little more believable since she isn't already in on Marinette's biggest secret.

I also have to roll my eyes at how melodramatic the talk about everyone's “futures” is. Yes, I don't know a lot about the French education system (If there's anything I'm getting wrong here, don't hesitate to let me know), but I don't get why they're treating their high school choices like such a big deal. Maybe if it was college, I'd get it, but high school? Why can't you just transfer if it doesn't work out? But then again, this is the same show created by a man who thinks school uniforms are a sign of fascism.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

Speaking of futures, this episode also showed just how little the writers cared about Adrien at this point, with how a supposedly heartwaming moment is him having no plan in life other than Marinette. I know this might seem weird given my problem with him last season was his refusal to think about anyone but himself, but there's a difference between wanting someone to follow orders without complaining and giving them absolutely no motivation outside of their significant other. And once again, if you swap the genders, this becomes sexist as hell.

But the big problem comes in the form of how the side characters are utilized. I don't know why the writers decided to focus on developing characters like Sabrina, Juleka, Ms. Bustier, and Mr. Damocles with five episodes left in the season. This should have been done in earlier episodes, not in the middle of a major story arc. I'm just left not caring about the development because it takes away from the conflict between Marinette and Lila, to say nothing about how little Adrien and Alya contribute to the story.

To me, this episode feels like the writers had no idea how to make Marinette outsmarting Lila into an episode, so they crammed in all these half-assed character arcs to pad out the runtime. While “Revelation” personally upset me more, I personally think this is the worse episode of the two from a writing standpoint.

#21: Revolution

Given how often I've criticized the way Chloe has been handled over the years, I bet you're surprised that this one isn't at the bottom of the list. You'll be even more surprised to learn that I think Chloe is one of this episode's saving graces.

This episode (along with “Derision”) provide an example of the Chloe we should have gotten ever since Season 3 ended: A villain who's allowed to be a threat while still being funny. So much of the past two seasons have done nothing but portray Chloe as nothing but an incompetent joke, but here, near the end of the season, she's in a position of power and is taken seriously. The episode does a good job showing how tyrannical Chloe's rule as Mayor is while still making it funny and in-character for her. She uses her power on frivolous things because she's a teenage girl who doesn't understand the complicated issues that come with politics. It's also why her idea of punishment involves detention, because it's something she's more familiar with as someone in middle school. Of course, even the episode all about Chloe ruling Paris with an iron fist isn't stupid enough to actually let Chloe be a compelling antagonist. No, we need to constantly remind the audience that Chloe is being played, as if we're supposed to see her as nothing more than a pawn even though the show still wants us to see her as an irredeemable monster.

Putting aside that one speck of something interesting, this episode is still incredibly bad. So much of the story is dependent not on how smart the villains' plan is, but rather, how lazy the heroes are. Not only is there not a single moment where Ladybug and Cat Noir acknowledge that the whole reason why Chloe was able to take over as Mayor was their fault, they act as if Chloe abusing her power to make everyone's life a living hell isn't enough of a reason to stop her. What kind of Prime Directive bullshit is this? YOU JUST HELPED SOMEONE LEAD AN INSURRECTION AGAINST A POWERLESS CIVILIAN! HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT?! If there was at least something involving Ladybug and Cat Noir taking responsibility for what happened or at least showing that they played a part in this (especially since they “grow up” in this episode), I'd get it. Instead, because this is Season 5, our heroes are perfection incarnate, and can't ever be wrong. Even when they finally decide to get off their asses and stop Chloe, they didn't know she was akumatized, and nobody seemed to care before Chloe blurted it out, so Ladybug and Cat Noir have no excuses for slacking off.

The final battle is just a joke. Not only is it another excuse to force the Resistance into the plot, it shows Ladybug and Cat Noir unlocking the full power of their Miraculous in the most anti-climactic way possible. Even though they spent most of the episode caring more about their personal lives than actually stopping the obvious threat, somehow, this means they “grew up”. There's no buildup, no explanation, and no catharsis gained from this achievement. All of a sudden, Ladybug and Cat Noir are adults now. There's one decent scene with Adrien, but that's far from an actual explanation. What, did you actually expect an explanation for something this huge? Too bad! We need to have Marinette tell Chloe she's not afraid of her anymore even though she was never afraid of her prior to this season. Of all the things that happened this season, this is the one that makes it clear that Season 5 was supposed to be the end. There is no way Season 6 can happen unless the writers come up with some crap that undoes this, because Ladybug and Cat Noir have essentially unlocked god mode.

But I saved the worst for last, and you all know what it is: Chloe's punishment. I still can't get over the fact that there's actually a scene heavily implying we're supposed to be happy Chloe is going to live with her emotionally abusive mother in the same season that's trying to tell a serious story about child abuse. There's already been so much said about all the horrible things this implies, so I'm going to try and bring up something else. Specifically, how everyone is just okay with this. I can buy Ladybug given all the things Chloe has done to her, but it's pretty odd that Cat Noir, Andre, and Zoe all decide to wash their hands of their association with Chloe as if they never knew her. They don't even feel bad that it had to come to this, and feel absolutely no sympathy for her. Remember in episodes like “Malediktator” and “Queen Banana” that showed Adrien and Zoe still cared for Chloe despite all the terrible things she's done, teaching kids a lesson about trying to show compassion to your enemies? The writers sure didn't, because Adrien and Zoe don't get to say a thing about Chloe after she's defeated. Way to establish connections between characters and do nothing with them, writers!

This episode had so many things wrong with it, and it only got worse the longer it went on, to the point where the ending is essentially condoning child abuse. It's disgusting, but at the very least, it means we're not going to have to deal with Chloe in Season 6.

.....

#22: Adoration

This is one of those episodes I honestly didn't think would hate as much as I did.

I think of all the episodes this season, this is the one that shows how frustratingly inconsistent the characterization is. Characters will either announce how much someone has changed or will take a complete 180 while the show makes it clear this is how things have always been. Not only does the show say Zoe has somehow changed and suddenly developed feelings for Marinette, but Chloe's view of Sabrina has gotten even lower, to the point where she calls her an underling to her face. Because actually showing character development and changing interpersonal relationships is too hard for these writers. It's like that rule everyone knows: Tell, don't show. That's how it goes, right?

Before anyone gets on my case about this, I'm not trying to say that Zoe having a crush on Marinette was a bad idea. The issue is more how it comes across like the show is trying to earn brownie points with LGBT+ audiences with the reveal. The issue is that this major revelation isn't about Zoe, but rather, Marinette. It's from a Marinette-focused episode all about her heterosexual feelings for Adrien while Zoe's coming out story is nothing more than a cautionary tale to get Marinette to finally try kissing Adrien. I'm not saying Marinette should have dumped Adrien to be with Zoe. The point I'm trying to make is if you want to show something as huge as a character coming out as sapphic, maybe put more focus on that character's struggles than the struggles the straight main character goes through. Maybe instead of being an afterthought in the story, make the episode about Marinette helping Zoe confess her feelings to a girl she likes.

This was also the episode that laid the groundwork for Andre and Sabrina's “redemption arcs”. Normally, I wouldn't mind something like them changing, but it's less to show a character becoming a better person and more to vilify a different character. Andre went from a corrupt politician who abuses his power to please his daughter to an honest politician who is forced to abuse his power to please his daughter. Sabrina went from Chloe's loyal friend who chooses to help her make people miserable to Chloe's underling who is being forced to help make people miserable. Both of them were perfectly willing to go along with Chloe's acts in the past, and as we saw in “Revolution”, being a pawn didn't excuse her from being punished, so by that logic, they shouldn't get a free pass either. It's also strange how this wasn't the episode where Andre and Sabrina officially cut ties with Chloe, considering they already had issues with them. There wasn't really a reason to wait if they already made their issues clear, especially Sabrina. Somehow framing Marinette here is okay but doing it a few episodes later is too much for her?

Also, Lila served no purpose in the episode. Just like in “Collusion” and “Revolution”, all she does is tell Chloe to do things she was perfectly capable of doing in earlier episodes. We're supposed to see her as a mastermind, but I don't get why she has to hold Chloe's hand here. Why can't Lila come up with her own plan or manipulate different people from behind the scenes? It only further highlights the double standards because while Sabrina being a lackey to Chloe earns her sympathy, Chloe being a lackey to Lila doesn't for some reason.

I am getting really tired of the whole “Nobody believes Marinette” formula that every Lila episode relies on (Chameleon, Ladybug, Risk, Revelation, Confrontation). It's the exact same story. Everyone who has known Marinette for the past four seasons suddenly loses all trust in her, only instead of instantly believing Lila, it's Chloe. CHLOE. This is worse than Lila, because she's at least in good graces with other people, but this is the same season that solidified the idea of nobody liking her at all. They seriously take her words at face value over Marinette, someone whose friends know has tormented her for a year at least (Derision)? Put aside how I feel about Chloe, this is a story that depends on trusting someone nobody has any reason to trust, and it makes no sense.

There are just so many minor issues in this episode that pile up enough to really piss me off. It's like a death by a thousand cuts.

#23: Collusion

I normally don't try to get political on this blog unless I absolutely have to, and talking about this episode is one of those occasions.

If you've been around since the early days of this blog, you'll remember that Astruc once compared Chloe to Donald Trump, and not too long after the January 6th attack on the Capitol Building at that.

Even before that thread, Astruc made a joke comparing Trump to Chloe less than a week after the attack.

Whether you agree with Astruc's views on Trump or not, the point is that he kept up with American politics and strongly opposes him. So anyway, let's get to the episode where the heroes let someone lead a small army to storm the mayor's office and force him to resign, which is totally different from what Trump did.

I cannot get over just how confusing this episode is. For a show created by someone who usually keeps up with American politics, this is such a tone-deaf episode. I get that the story is trying to lean into French history, and I'm not sure how far into production the crew was when the attack on the Capitol happened, but given how Astruc was aware of the drama, he and his team should have at least considered the implications this episode could raise. The problem with the discussion around January 6th is that the supporters see it in as righteous a light as Miss Sans-Culotte is. As far as they know, what happened wasn't a violent invasion of government property, but a peaceful demonstration. Sure, none of the talking balloons said “Hang Andre Bourgeois!”, but it still brings similar imagery to mind.

Something that also harms the French Revolution narrative is the fact that all of Miss Sans-Culotte's supporters are helping her against her will. Much like countless Akumas throughout the show's history (Darkblade, Kung Food, The Puppeteer, Princess Fragrance, Despair Bear, Befana, Zombizou, Malediktator, Gamer 2.0, Mr. Pigeon 72, Hack-San, Revelation, Confrontation), Miss Sans-Culotte brainwashes innocent civilians so they can help her cause. This goes against the idea that she's speaking for the people, because her victims don't have a say in this. She's not reenacting the French Revolution, she's reenacting Order 66!

Also, this is something I've neglected to discuss. Why make Miss Bustier pregnant at all, much less akumatize her while pregnant? Outside of her students telling Chloe not to make a scene because the stress caused from dealing that is bad for the baby, Ms. Bustier's pregnancy adds nothing to the story. Seriously, the story thinks Chloe annoying the class is more dangerous for Ms. Bustier's baby than Ms. Bustier herself running around and getting into fights with her baby inside. It could have made for some interesting drama where Ladybug and Cat Noir are hesitant to hurt a pregnant woman, even if she's been akumatized. While the writers do try to work around it by giving her minions to do the fighting (as much as it mucks up the themes of this episode), it still doesn't explain why she needed to be pregnant during this episode in the first place.

Putting aside how unlikable Miss Sans-Culotte is in this episode, you can't even enjoy seeing Andre getting kicked out of office because this is the same episode where the writers really want us to feel bad for him. Look at how sad the rich white politician is. Let's ignore the fact that he's a big part of the reason why Chloe is as bad as she is, has abused his power multiple times, and is all around the cause of his own problems. But even though this is a show that tries to take an anti-capitalist stance (which I'll get to more in “Emotion”), we're supposed to side with one of the biggest symbols of everything wrong with capitalism and political corruption. Even then, Andre is framed for corruption instead of the several instances he actually abused his power, as if they're trying to say he was never a corrupt man. He just loves his daughter. Is that too much to ask for? His daughter herself? Eh, who cares? You really need to support the rich white man. Are we sure this show was created by a liberal?

But the biggest issue is the moral. It's impossible to frame Miss Sans-Culotte storming the mayor's office as a peaceful protest because she's clearly inspired by one of the bloodiest and most violent revolutions in history. If she was supposed to be a violent warrior who needed to learn there was a better way, that would work, but instead, the show downplays how dangerous she is... when she has a guillotine blade for a weapon. You can't claim Miss Sans-Culotte is non-violently protesting Andre's administration when she brainwashes innocent civilians, storms into the building, and demands he resign without any question. Even taking all that into consideration, the moral ends up backfiring because forcing Andre out of office caused an even bigger problem with Chloe taking over, and the very next episode threw the non-violence message out the window.

Whether or not you want to consider the political implications here, this is still a terrible episode with a terrible moral.

#24: Pretension

I've always had issues with Felix, and after the trainwreck that was “Emotion”, let's just say this didn't exactly do anything to raise my opinion of him. Just like his other appearances for the last few seasons, he did absolutely nothing to help Ladybug, focused on only doing things that benefited him, and making everyone's lives worse due to his incompetence. And somehow, this idiot is the one who moves the plot along the most.

The entire conflict happened because Felix kidnapped Kagami without even coming up with a plan. Even when he believes that Kagami is a Sentimonster (I apologize for saying that word Felix hates, but once again, the show provides no alternative to it), he doesn't think of Tomoe being able to track her or command her to leave even at a far distance. He doesn't even try to explain himself to Ladybug and Cat Noir and spends more time running away from everyone who wants to kick his ass. But by the show's logic, he just needs friends, even though his entire deal is that he works alone to get what he wants.

It's bad enough that Felix has to screw up everything he touches, but now he's dragging Kagami to his level. Kagami has cemented her role as Felix's lackey/girlfriend and nothing more. People give Marinette crap for the way the behaves around Adrien in and out of universe, but Kagami knows nothing about Felix, yet a single conversation about his past is enough for her to fall head over heels in love with him. She went from someone not willing to take any bullcrap from Marinette and Adrien to believing Felix's story in a fraction of a heartbeat. This season really likes ruining the few likable characters the show has left.

I also have to roll my eyes at the conversation Marinette and Gabriel have about fashion. For one thing, it's one of the few times the entire season remembers that Marinette wants to be a fashion designer and doesn't really factor into her rivalry with Gabriel. This season made their conflict revolve around how to treat Adrien, not their views on fashion. It feels like they only brought it up to remind viewers that Marinette is still into fashion. Well, that, and also to take a stance on artistic integrity... supposedly.

And on that note, it's amazing how the writers display little to no self-awareness during this scene. The show that embraces sticking to the status quo and rejecting almost any attempt at keeping consistent continuity is now trying to teach children about the importance of being willing to take risks when creating something. This is like Hannibal Lecter trying to promote veganism. I get the message, but the messenger's history is keeping me from buying it. It doesn't help that for a scene trying to point out how outdated certain views are, the show ultimately chooses to take the side of the man with the “wrong” mindset by the end of the season.

The pancake metaphor really confuses me too. It's meant to be a running gag that the only thing Gabriel knows how to cook is pancakes, but A) Nothing is really indicated to show how terrible they are as a metaphor for how bad his outdated views are other than Marinette's verbal assessment of them, and B) We later learn Gabriel used to be poor, so either he never knew how to cook prior to earning his fortune or being rich somehow made him forget basic living skills. I'm just saying, when an episode of Sid the Science Kid manages to better convey someone doing a terrible job making pancakes, you might need to put in a little more effort to show how bad Gabriel's pancakes supposedly are.

Finally, Tomoe. This episode didn't really do much to show her as a compelling threat, given all she did was nag Gabriel and try to shoot her daughter when she didn't even try commanding her to fight back when she was kidnapped. She's nothing more than a female Gabriel and is another example of how overstuffed this show's cast is,

This episode is awful, plain and simple. It took aspects from previous episodes that were already questionable, and doubled down on them while acting like there weren't any problems at all.

#25: Derision

And now we're onto the really, REALLY bad episodes this season. One of the reasons why this post took so long to make was that I wasn't sure how to rank these last three episodes. Thankfully, I managed to find a way to rank them based on the morals are executed. With that being said, let's start scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Ah, “Derision”. You're the only episode that makes the backlash caused by “Chameleon” seem like a pleasant breeze. It's incredible to see just how much negative a reputation this episode has in the fandom. Virtually nobody likes it because it manages to upset everyone with its poor characterization. I'm talking Marinette fans, Adrien fans, Chloe fans, Kim fans, and pretty much every other character's fans. I've only seen a few die hard fans defend this episode, and they're the people on Tumblr who defend pretty much everything done this season.

I have just one question to ask about this episode: Why did it need to happen? We didn't learn anything new that we didn't know already. We know Chloe is mean, and we know Marinette used to be more timid and had no friends. We didn't even need that much of an explanation for why Marinette acts the way she does around Adrien, seeing how it was usually played for laughs

Speaking of which, let's talk about the fact that the episode tries to shame the audience for laughing at the jokes about Marinette's reactions to Adrien. You know, something that was the show's primary running gag ever since Season 1? A running gag the writers ran into the ground by the end of Season 3 but still chose to go with it? Now we're not supposed to have laughed at it, assuming we laughed at it all. Way to insult even the small portion of viewers who didn't get on your case about this, writers.

I only have about two positive things to say about this episode. For one thing, Chloe actually served as a pretty decent antagonist in the flashbacks. Much like in “Revolution”, when the writers actually let her be a villain on her own without being made a pawn, she can be somewhat entertaining. If this was the Chloe we got after Season 3, I don't I would have been as upset at the direction Astruc's team took with the character.

In addition, the thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom is that unlike the next two, it actually understands that what the antagonist did was wrong. They don't make up excuses for what Chloe did and she actually gets called out as a result. It doesn't lead to anything major, but it's something.

Like with “Queen Banana”, there's not much else I can say that hasn't already been said. There's plenty of retcons, the characterization for everyone is off, it attacks the audience, and the message about trauma got fumbled by the show's usual double standards. It's been said over and over again, and it's become a symbol of how much the show's quality has degraded.

#26: Emotion

I think if you've kept up with my reviews of this season, you should know by now that I don't exactly like Felix, and most of the problems I have with him can be attributed to this episode. In fact, for a while, this was going to be my choice for the bottom slot.

It's clear that the writers want to make Felix this wild card who's only in it for himself, but like most of the show's antagonists, they want to show Felix as this devious mastermind... but he's also not really evil, and you should feel bad for him. For most of the episode, Felix does nothing but make everyone's lives worse during his first outing as Argos. He smears his cousin's reputation yet again, tricks his girlfriend into dancing with him, condemns some rich kids for the crime of being rich when he's just as rich, and eventually wipes out all life on the face of the earth. But he's just doing it for his cousin, we swear!

While Felix has understandable motivations for what he does, wanting to free Adrien and Kagami, the way he tries to achieve his goal makes it hard to sympathize with him. If the whole point was that what he did was wrong and that he needs to find a different way, that could work. Instead, we're supposed to see him as this tragic figure who was forced to do terrible things when the episode shows him happily singing while causing chaos. It's the same problem with Gabriel, wanting a sympathetic character to do unapologetically evil things. The fact that he has to be told that genocide is bad doesn't make us want to sympathize with him when he breaks down crying. It paints a picture that he's crazy but the show wants to act like he isn't.

Even putting all the crap with Felix aside, the episode is still unbearable. The stuff with Marinette was poorly executed and was just done to get her involved in the plot, and later become the first one to excuse Felix for betraying her. Other than the dance scene, you could easily just have Marinette swing in as Ladybug when Argos starts his rampage and nothing would really change. The episode tries to make jokes about how unnecessary this is, but as usual, its attempts to be self-aware come across like its saying “What we're doing it wrong, we know it's wrong, but we're gonna do it anyway!”

Speaking of the dance scene, I can't stop rolling my eyes whenever Felix tries to be all “We live in a society” to Marinette. Forget the corrupt politicians, corporate moguls, human traffickers, and despotic rulers of foreign nations. The absolute worst section of humanity is composed of the teenage children of the 1%. Sure, you'd have to break my legs before I'd agree to supervise them at this party, but I don't get why these are the people we're supposed to see as irredeemable monsters. Do the writers think because these kids associate themselves with Chloe, we'll automatically hate them? Newsflash, but if I had to choose between hanging out with some annoying kids and a mass murderer, I'd stick with the annoying kids.

Rewatching this episode was what helped me finally realize just what my problem with the show's anti-capitalist message is. How the hell am I supposed to hate the villains on this show for being rich when several characters are rich or at the very least, are successful thanks to their connections to the rich? Think about it for a second. Putting aside Adrien and Kagami, you have Marinette, the daughter of two of the most popular bakers in Paris and earned the respect of multiple celebrities, Alya, the daughter of a chef who works at a five-star hotel, Nino, someone who got to DJ at a major fashion show, Rose, who is friends with a literal prince, Luka and Juleka, the children of a popular rock star, and Max, the son of an astronaut with access to cutting-edge technology. Somehow, these people are supposed to be poor? They make Monica from Friends look like Oscar the Grouch. It's why I can't take the message seriously. You can't write a story about a class struggle when both classes are shown to be pretty well-off.

The only thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom of the list is the fact that despite committing genocide while singing, Felix at least gets what he did was wrong and makes up for it. It doesn't fix everything else he did in this episode, but that's better than nothing. As for the villain featured in the episode that's at the bottom of this list? If you've been keeping track, I think you know who I mean.

#27: Re-Creation

I'll admit, I'm sort of cheating here. I'm judging this episode more as a finale than an individual episode, but I'm making an exception because the plot is tied to wrapping up all the loose ends this season.

I'm mentioning this because for a season finale, the stakes just feel so low. The fight between Bug Noire and Monarch doesn't have any weight to it because they've barely interacted at all for the last five seasons. These are supposed to be two mortal enemies, but you can't really buy the enmity between them. It ultimately cheapens the moment of Bug Noire triumphing over Monarch in the end... before Monarch triumphs over her not long afterwards, but we'll get to that.

The stuff with the Miraculized doesn't help either. We already know that the Ladybug and Cat Miraculous are in the Agreste manor, so the Miraculized's goal is impossible to achieve. It's never even explained why the Miraculized don't go back to the manor to help Monarch beat Bug Noire, since they should still be able to track the Miraculous. All of the fights with them just come across like filler, and there's no real sense of danger or hopelessness to be found. Whether the Miraculized win or lose is irrelevant. Nothing will happen either way because the important stuff is happening in the Agreste manor.

This extends to the part where all the heroes appear to help. It doesn't come across as an Avengers-esque moment for the climax, because it doesn't change anything. The episode never explains what any of these characters were doing prior to the events of this episode and why only now they're helping out. The United Heroes are the most egregious example because unlike Fei or Su-Han, they're a major organization whose members include the president, and they didn't do a damn thing when Monarch stole all of the other Miraculous. Speaking of, there is no way in hell that Su-Han taught Mirakung-Fu to three random people over Ladybug and Cat Noir, much less that those three people are actual masters after about two months at best. Maybe they got to train in Bunnix's Burrow? After all, she's not doing anything else to stop the end of the world other than sending four people over to Paris. This whole sequence really highlights how bland the other heroes of this universe are. If they're not slacking off when they're needed, they're criminally underdeveloped because there's a slim chance they'll get spin-offs to flesh them out.

But I think the biggest issue me and other people have with this finale is the resolution. In what is easily one of the most baffling decisions the show has made, Bug Noire doesn't defeat Monarch, and Monarch gets to make his wish. I don't care how many times the writers technically say she won because she beat him in a fight. Gabriel backstabbed her at the last minute and got her Miraculous to make his wish. Yeah, he died, but he succeed in achieving his goal, never faced any real consequences, didn't get any closure with his son (much less apologize for abusing him), told Marinette to lie about the monster he was to him, and was turned into a martyr with a statue made of the same things he used to control the world.

This ending infuriates me because it not only makes Marinette out to be a terrible hero for failing to do the one thing she was chosen to do (get the Butterfly Miraculous back), but it also ultimately makes Gabriel out to be a decent person even though he destroyed and recreated the world. All Marinette did was take credit for saving the world, and even then, Gabriel got more celebration in the end. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen! She got outsmarted by an abusive parent and didn't even get a new statue in her honor!

But the most damning thing of all this is the fact that this finale retroactively makes everything that's happened over the last five seasons completely pointless. If Gabriel making a wish wasn't as bad as it was supposed to be, why didn't Ladybug and Cat Noir let him borrow their Miraculous? Why make the stakes this high if you're going to downplay the impact of a madman recreating the world in his own image? Follow-up question: why make the stakes this high if the wish being made is ultimately shown to have huge benefits for society? In an attempt to wrap things up with a happy ending, the writers accidentally made the conflict completely meaningless.

That's why this resolution is the ultimate example of the writers refusing to allow any major changes to happen. If they're willing to treat the end of the universe as less important than Ms. Bustier becoming mayor, why should we assume they'll ever take their story seriously? For God's sake, every character you know and love is essentially dead, and we're supposed to act like that isn't a big deal? That's how you wanted to end the show originally? Then again, at least they tried to resolve something, unlike the Love Square. We still haven't gotten a reveal, and I don't think we ever will at this point. These writers will drag out the story until the show stops becoming profitable, which won't be for a long time.

And with that, I am officially done with Season 5. Honestly, after having to rewatch this season again, I'm not sure if it's even worth giving Season 6 a shot. There's nothing to look forward to, and Lila becoming the main villain isn't really appealing to me. At the very least, I have the movie review to look forward to, meaning I can watch something good for a change.

[mcchipisfried]

I'm watching Hannibal for the first time and I'm not gonna lie I had my doubts. (Currently on Seaon 2 Episode 11)

(ALSO SPOLIERS BELOW though I think I'm the last person on tumblr who HASN'T seen Hannibal)

My forefathers forgive me, I had doubts. So so many doubts. I wanted to go into this show decimating everyone's reasoning that Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham would work as a couple (romantic or otherwise). I wanted to be fed a story about murder, deception, manipulation, betrayal, and maybe even a little but of cannibalism. And don't get me wrong I have gotten this, but I've also been fed a romantic comedy.

I went into this show not wanting to find reasons to want these two together, I wanted to think "Oh the people of tumblr probably pieced a bunch of subtext together and I probably will as well but it'll hardly be anything that I could write about to my friends who haven't seen the show"

I was so fucking wrong.

Really it should have been the moment where Alana and Hannibal were having a ✨️moment✨️ while Will and Margot were also having a ✨️moment✨️ so the way the whole scene played was very. Well. Not what you would expect from a guy that should have every reason to shoot Hannibal on sight. The fucking framing and cinematography got me to send a 3 minute long vm at 2 am to my friend who really doesn't care about Hannibal.

Or maybe it should have been every single time tweddle dee and tweddle dum are even remotely alone together and decide to start eye fucking each other while also making death threats.

But no what got me was when Alana described what was done to Freddie Lounds' body the second time around as a demonstration of a courtship (best way I can phrase it without just explaining the plot that led us here)

Really, its such a small moment.

But the way the two idiots are standing there looking at each other and Alana shouldn't have been as funny as it was nor should it have instantly reminded me of an early 2000's movie where the couple is secretly dating because they just can't help it and some third party, maybe even one the main couples friends discovers them while trying to NOT make it a Big Deal™ because they are in public except y'know, this is happening over the body that Person A burned to a crisp and sent rolling in a wheelchair while Person B got said body after the funeral and made it into an effigy.

Anyways TLDR: I thought the Hannibal x Will stuff was all very insignificant subtext but actually it was just text and it was screaming. I would also like to thank my film, cinematography, scriptwriting, lighting, and storytelling college classes because as it turns out you did do something for me. You made me realize that whatever is happening between Hannibal and Will is not platonic and I will be consulting AO3 to further expand my understanding of these characters as soon as I finish watching the show.

Also yes I know at some point someone says Hannibal is in love with Will. But now I'm starting to believe that.

[ro-is-struggling]

Finally, Ro's followers celebration!!!!! I'd like to request this prompt: Character A and Character B have feelings for each other but can't bring themselves to admit it. That is until they have to pretend to be a couple (for a mission, a family party, whatever) and end up kissing on more than one occasion. Their feelings for each other become evident and they end up confessing their feelings - but not before acting like a couple of nervous, awkward idiots {Brooklyn 99 2x23} with james potter! I want it to be fluffy, pls😩🥰 thank you. love u <3

Hi beautiful!! Of course my first request had to be from you💜💜💜

Thank you so much for participating! I'm so happy to start the celebration with your request💕 I had a lot of fun writing this one so I hope you like it!!

Undercover Mission || James Potter x Reader

Summary: An undercover mission for the Order of the Phoenix leads you and James to confront your repressed feelings for each other as you are forced to kiss to keep your covers from being blown.

Warnings: fluff, a little bit of angst, mutual pining, idiots in love, friends to lovers, humor, set after they graduated from Hogwarts

English is not my first language

Word count: 4900

Notes: I based this story on the episode of b99 from which I got the prompt, I hope you don't mind. I just think James and Jake are literally the same person so I couldn’t resist

"Are we sure we have the right guy?" you asked, the boredom and exhaustion clear in your voice. James, Sirius, Marlene and you had spent the last few hours trapped in an old van following a guy under suspicion that he was a Death Eater. Dumbledore believed he was transporting an important package for the Dark Lord and he wanted the Order of the Phoenix to intercept it before it reached its destination, but so far nothing interesting or remotely suspicious had happened.

"If Albus suspects him then there's gotta be a reason," James stated beside you, his eyes glued to the window as he kept an eye on his target. 

"I know, but this dude hasn't done anything since we got here," you complained, letting your head fall back against the seat cushion. "Am I the only one who doesn't understand why he would be in the Muggle world if he wanted to do Death Eater shit? It doesn't make sense."

"Cause we wouldn't expect it," Sirius said from the driver's seat. 

"Or they're planning an attack," Marleen muttered next to him and your heart stopped for a moment. You really hoped things wouldn't escalate to such a level. If they were planning something big you didn't know if the backup would arrive in time to stop them and save the lives of the innocent muggles caught in the line of fire.

"I don't think they are," James said, turning to look at you for a moment. His tone of voice was soft but determined, trying to control the situation and clear those ideas from his friends' minds —especially yours. "Albus would have heard something if that was their plan all along."

The van fell into silence for a few minutes as you waited for something to happen. The soft rock playing on the radio was the only thing that could be heard inside the vehicle, anticipation, fear, boredom and adrenaline a strange mix of feelings that affected the minds of the four young, newly graduated from Hogwarts. You were definitely too young and inexperienced to be participating in secret missions, but someone had to do it. Someone had to stand up and fight for what was right. 

You drove through town for another hour following your target. The sun had already gone down when you parked on a nice, well-lit, but quiet street. Your target entered a restaurant at the end of the street and you let out an exclamation of joy as you finally got out of that old truck for a while to stretch your legs.

"Okay, we'll go in and keep an eye on him I'm case he makes the deal inside. You two stay here and wait for my signal" James instructed his friends as both you and he exited the vehicle. You took a moment to straighten your clothes, wrinkled after so many hours sitting in the car. It wasn't the nicest muggle outfit you had, but luckily the restaurant didn't seem to be too fancy so you'd be fine.

"Do you see him anywhere?" James asked once inside the establishment, scanning the crowded front desk for his target. You gently nudged him in the ribs to shut him up, nodding your head forward. His eyes followed your movement and he then discovered that just a couple of inches away was the man you had been following all day. He spoke to the woman at the front desk and was quickly escorted to a table inside the restaurant, leaving you behind without any visual of what he was doing. 

"What's taking so long?" you complained in a mumble that only James could hear. "He could be making the deal right now."

"Should we use our wands?" suggested James. Using magic was risky, but it would get you a table at the restaurant in a matter of seconds.

"No, I have a better idea." Taking James by the hand, you walked up to the woman at the front desk to ask for a table. She informed you that the place was full and that you would have to wait for a table to clear before you could get in. But that was not an option for you, you had to get in and you had to get in now. So you held onto James' arm and smiling warmly you said, "Oh but we just got engaged and this is where we had our first date, isn't that right sweetie?"

James looked at you with wide eyes, surprised by your words. It took him a few seconds to respond, not because he didn't know what to answer but because he had been stunned to hear you call him by that affectionate nickname. He would be lying if he said he didn't want to hear you call him that for the rest of his life.

"Yes, yes! It was a beautiful night like this one. And special too. When you left the restaurant that night I knew you were the one, I just knew." James played along, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you close against his body as he spoke, looking at you with a smile on his lips and the distinctive glint of love shining in his eyes. It felt real, too real, so you looked away before losing yourself in his beautiful blue eyes. You were on an important mission and you had to concentrate. "I would have made a reservation but I didn't know if she was gonna say yes." 

"Oh I love how nervous you were!" you exclaimed fondly, playfully tapping his nose and letting out a giggle. "You just had to see him, he was adorable," you added, standing on your tiptoes to reach up to give him a kiss on the cheek. James' heart raced, the blood in his whole body pooling in his cheeks as he struggled not to let his feelings for you show. He'd had a crush on you for a long time —since fifth year to be exact—, but you two had always been such good friends that he'd never gotten around to doing anything about it. He valued your friendship too much to risk losing it. That's why he had to control his heart or the mission wouldn't be the only thing that went wrong.

"You look so sweet together!" the receptionist exclaimed, watching you tenderly. "I'm sure I can find room for two young lovers."

"Yeah.. we are lovers… together... in bed" James muttered awkwardly, struggling to stop his imagination from running wild. He had pictured what his life with you might be like more times than he was proud to admit, but this wasn't the time or place to fantasize about your wedding or think about the name of your future child.

"Okay," you said with a smile, squeezing James' arm to shut him up as you watched the woman disappear inside the restaurant. "Keep it together, Potter. We need that table," you muttered just for him to hear. You knew it was weird for him to be in such an intimate and romantic situation with you. You had been friends for so long that you were pretty sure he saw you as a sister —a thought that made your heart clench painfully in your chest—, but he had to keep his cool for a few more minutes. Once at the table you could drop the act and laugh at how weird it was to imagine being married while keeping your target well guarded. 

However, things proved to be more difficult than that.

The woman returned a few minutes later with a smile on her face. She led you to your table herself, wishing you a lovely evening and a happy marriage before returning to her desk. You barely had time to settle into your seats before the couple seated at the table next to yours showered you with congratulations on your engagement as well. It was an elderly couple who were there celebrating fifty years of marriage, so neither of you had the heart to ignore them.

"So, when did you guys meet?" the man asked you.

"Last year" you said without thinking, your eyes searching the crowd for your target.

"Five years ago" James stated at the same time, his gaze locked on the Death Eater dining alone a couple of tables away. 

The elderly couple looked at you in confusion and you hurried to correct the mistake. "We met five years ago but we don't count that."

"Yeah, I was dating another girl at that time" James noted and technically he wasn't lying. When you met he was in love with Lily Evans and while you never officially dated, he had planned his entire life with her at that time.

"And I wasn't interested in dating," you laughed. "But a year ago we bumped into each other and we haven't been able to separate ever since."

"How sweet!" the woman exclaimed, looking at you fondly. She reminded you of your grandmother in some ways, which only made things weirder. It was hard not to get carried away with the role you were playing when fate seemed to be determined to make you imagine your perfect life at James' side. "How did you know she was the one?" the old lady asked your friend, looking at him expectantly.

James looked at you, panic written all over his face. "I'd love to answer that..." he stammered, trying to buy himself some time to think. He knew exactly how to answer that question, he had a memorized list of the things you did that made him fall in love with you, but he couldn't be honest. If he spoke from the heart he risked being exposed.  "Just whenever I look at her face," he finished, unsure if it was the right thing to say.

"And what about you?" The woman directed her question at you this time.

Your eyes met James' as you contemplated your answer. For a second, you felt as if the world had ceased to exist, the chatter of the people around you getting quieter and quieter until it disappeared altogether. It was just you and him in that restaurant, looking into each other's eyes with an intimacy that felt different. You lost yourself deep in his eyes, looking straight into his soul as your mind went over all the things you adored about him.  

"He makes me laugh" you replied honestly, putting a smile on James' face. 

"And you know, there's really no one else's opinion who I care about more than hers," he added, feeling comfortable and confident enough to open up a bit.

The elderly couple went on to tell you a bit of their life story and as much as you found it adorable, neither of you were able to pay much attention. They could barely remember that they were on a mission, their eyes occasionally traveling to their target to make sure he wasn't doing anything suspicious. You were both too distracted, lost in your own thoughts as you repeated each other's words over and over in your heads. You knew you just were playing roles, but what you had said to each other, the knowing look you had shared, it all felt too real, too sincere. Of course you both dismissed it after spinning it around in your heads for a while, convincing yourselves that you were seeing things where there was nothing because for some reason you were the only two people in the world unable to see that you were in love. 

The moment you were sharing was interrupted when you noticed your target getting up from the table. You kicked James lightly to get his attention, silently motioning for him to look at the Death Eater you were supposed to be watching. Excusing yourselves from the lovely old couple you had been chatting with for the last thirty minutes, you rose from the table and made your way to the back of the restaurant, following in your target's footsteps. 

"Do you think he's going to meet his partner?" you spoke in a whisper so that no one but James would hear you.

"I don't know," he replied.

Just as the words left his lips, the man turned and made direct eye contact with you. Time stopped for a second, panic taking over as you realized you had been discovered. You had no reason to be there and you were pretty sure that the Death Eater had already seen you parked in front of him hours ago. He wasn't stupid, he would be able to put two and two together and then your mission would be ruined at best. At worst, you would have to fight to get the briefcase he was carrying, endangering the lives of many innocent Muggles.

But before the panic could fully take hold of you, you felt James' hands close around your waist. You turned to look at him, but you couldn't do or say anything because suddenly his lips crashed against yours. You didn't even take a second to question what was happening, letting the feeling of euphoria run through your body as you felt the caress of James' lips on yours. You lost yourself in him instantly, in the taste of his mouth, in the warmth of his body against yours, in the delicate way he held you in his arms. You were flying in the sky in complete bliss as you let James guide the kiss, struggling to keep up the peace.

But the moment ended as abruptly as it had begun, leaving you dazed and confused, missing James' lips the second they parted from yours.

"I'm sorry, I just- I didn't know what else to do," he spluttered awkwardly, his thoughts clouded by the scent of your perfume.

"No, it's okay," you hurried to say, struggling to form coherent sentences so as not to let him know how much his kiss had really affected you. "It's all good. We kept our cover intact, good job. Very quick thinking, very professional." You were tense and couldn't look him in the eye when you spoke, but neither could he so neither of you mentioned anything, opting to pretend nothing had happened as you went on with your mission.

"C'mon he's on the move" James announced as he climbed into the van once again. He kept his gaze straight ahead, his body rigid against the seat of the vehicle as if he was afraid to let go and end up accidentally touching you. He needed to keep his distance from you until he recovered his cognitive functions. His brain would never be able to process what had happened if your perfume kept assaulting his nostrils.

"So how was the restaurant?" Marlene asked you to fill the awkward silence that had formed. She could feel the tension in the air, a tension that wasn't there before you guys disappeared behind the restaurant doors. It was different from the tensions she was used to feeling when you and James were together, much more intense, and she couldn't help but wonder what had happened in there.

"Great! It was fine, totally normal and appropriate" you replied suspiciously quickly raising your voice to a higher pitch than usual. If she didn't suspect something had happened before, she definitely did now.

"What happened? Why are you being so weird?" Sirius asked, looking at you curiously through the rearview mirror.

"Y/N and I kissed" James confessed with a sigh, knowing it would be best to be honest with his friends. After all, it hadn't meant anything, had it? There was nothing strange about telling them the truth because you had nothing to hide. Strange would be if you kept it a secret.

"WHAT? Tell me everything!" Marlene exclaimed in a shout of joy, turning to see her friend in the back seat with a big smile on her face. She knew about your crush on James from day one and couldn't believe there was finally a breakthrough in your story. Sometimes Marlene felt like she was more involved in your little secret romance with James than you were yourself.

"Calm down! It was just to keep our cover from being blown, we didn't have a choice" you explained, feeling the blood from all over your body travel to your cheeks.

"Yeah, it didn't mean anything," James added, ignoring the stabbing pain that shot through his heart as he said it. 

"I want details," her friend insisted and you rolled your eyes.

"Marlene, it was just a kiss, okay? It was nothing." Only it hadn't been just a kiss, not to you at least, but you weren't going to admit it in front of everyone —especially not James.

"Yeah, who cares about a kiss? Call me if you grab each other's asses" Sirius interjected from the driver's seat, a mischievous grin plastered on his lips. James reached out from behind his back and smacked him on the shoulder, a silent way of telling his friend that this was not the time for his jokes.

Marlene was going to continue pressing you for more details —you and James kissing was the most interesting thing that had happened to her that day—, but her attention was drawn back to the mission at hand when Sirius alerted you that your target had gotten out of the car and was walking towards a park. He still had the briefcase in his hand, but the streets were deserted which made you think he wasn't going to meet anyone that night, but to leave the package for someone else to pick up.

"Okay, you and Sirius follow him just in case he does meet with someone after this." you instructed Marlene, watching as your target returned to his car, without the briefcase in his hands this time.

"Right! And you and James follow your hearts" your friend replied with a smile.

"No!" you grumbled, giving Marlene a murderous look. "We're gonna stay with the package."

"And each other forever" she insisted and you swore she was doing it on purpose to spite you. You didn't even dignify her comment with a response, opting instead to exit the vehicle and slam the door a little harder than necessary. James followed you, crossing the street beside you to get to the park your target had come from. 

You walked in silence, enjoying the quiet of the night. The place was deserted, something that was both good and bad. On the one hand it was good because if things went wrong at least there were no Muggles around who could get hurt. On the other hand it was bad because you had no way to hide so you wouldn't stand out. When the Death Eaters came to pick up the package they would see you, there was no doubt about that. You realized then that you would have to be quick if you wanted to catch them.

"Why can't we just take the briefcase and go?" James asked as he leaned back against a tree, his back to the bench next to where your target had left the hidden package.

"Because Albus wants to arrest everyone involved in this and for that we need the briefcase to exchange hands, otherwise there's no case." you explained and James grunted, hating having to stand there for who knows how much longer until someone showed up.

Neither of you spoke for a while, the weight of the silence and the tension in the air increasing your nerves. James' mind was riddled with doubts, fearing he had made a mistake by kissing you in the restaurant. You had told him that you understood why he had done it, assuring him that you had no issue with it, but it didn't feel like things were good between you. You were distant and tense, and you could barely look him in the eye. Regret was eating him up inside, knowing it was his fault that you felt uncomfortable around him.

"Hey, seriously, we're cool right?" James broke the silence forcing you to look away from the starry sky to face him.

"Yeah, totally," you nodded with a smile, hoping that was enough to calm him down. "We're fine." If only he knew that the reason for your strange behavior was that you were fighting the urge to take his face in your hands and kiss him one more time....

"Why do they have to schedule their drop off so late? Death Eaters have no respect for Auror's lives and times." James joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. You let out a chuckle and he felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. "I'm starving, we barely got to eat at that stupid restaurant."

"I know! Mr. and Mrs. Green were adorable but they couldn't stop talking" you said, remembering the chatty couple. You couldn't have been there more than forty minutes and somehow you knew when and where they had married, how they met, how many children they had and the names of their grandchildren. "I'm craving ice cream as weird as it might be considering how late it is."

"It's not weird at all, you always crave sweets at these hours, that's why you have trouble sleeping."

"You know what I really want to get right now?"

"Cookies and cream?" said James, more as a statement than a question. "It's your favorite, isn't it? Especially for times like this. I'm assuming you already have one in the freezer waiting for you to celebrate."

"Y-yes," you nodded in surprise. You weren't surprised that he knew what your favorite ice cream flavor was —you had been friends for years, that was normal—, you were surprised at how quickly and confidently he had spoken, leaving you no time to say anything before answering for you. He remembered your silly tradition of celebrating the little good things in life with your favorite flavor of ice cream even though it was something you usually did alone. It was a small, insignificant detail, but it made you feel appreciated. He remembered.

"I brought one too if you want to spend the night at my place after this is all over. We can celebrate together." You were going to tell him how much you appreciated his sweet gesture and how he was the one person you wanted to celebrate your victories in life with, but the words died in your throat when you noticed a man approaching the briefcase they had been guarding for the last fifteen minutes.

"James, he's looking at us," you tried to warn him discreetly, but your friend was too distracted rambling on about the different flavors of ice cream and which ones were the best. "Well, this is happening," you murmured, taking James' face in your hands and leaning in to join your lips in a kiss.

You were the one in control this time, dictating the intensity of the kiss, guiding the movements of James' lips on yours. He was too surprised to do more than try to keep up with the pace of your lips. His hands settled on your hips instinctively, pulling you tight against his body as he allowed himself to lose himself in your mouth for a moment. The mission, his doubts, the tension, all was forgotten as he melted under your caresses. 

Though his bliss was cut short when you suddenly pulled away, taking your wand and pointing it at the man who had picked up the briefcase. Reality hit him like a train, his brain working twice as hard to regain its functions so he could end this mission once and for all.

The Death Eater didn't give up without putting up a fight, pulling out his wand and casting spell after spell in your direction as he tried to escape. Neither of you recognized who your attacker was, which frightened you a little because it meant that the Dark Lord had more followers than the Order of the Phoenix expected or even knew about. Still you didn't let that affect you, fighting shoulder to shoulder until you incapacitated your unknown attacker.

"An empty diary?" you said in disbelief as you stared at the mysterious object inside the briefcase you had fought so hard to obtain. "We did all that for an empty diary?"

"It has to be important," James interjected as he used an incantation to restrain the Death Eater's wrists. "They wouldn't do all this for an insignificant empty diary. Albus will know what to do."

“I’m exhausted!” you exclaimed the moment you crossed the entrance threshold of James' house, dropping dramatically onto the couch. It had been a long day, but at least things had turned out well. Both Death Eaters were in custody awaiting trial for their crimes. Thanks to you the army of he who shall not be named had two less soldiers, and as insignificant as it seemed, it was a victory for everyone.

"We can go to sleep if you're tired and leave the ice cream for tomorrow" James said, knowing full well what your response would be.

"Never!" You jumped off the couch, running to the kitchen in search of the ice cream. James let out a laugh, shaking his head as he followed closely behind you. While you took the ice cream out of the freezer he grabbed spoons and a couple of bowls so you could share the frozen dessert without fighting over the pot.

After making a short toast celebrating your victory you engaged in casual conversation while enjoying the ice cream. You didn't even bother to go to the couch, settling into the kitchen without a problem. You sat on the counter next to the sink, swinging your legs playfully as you ate your ice cream. James stood next to you, leaning back on the counter with his body leaning slightly to the side so he could look at you better as you talked. He had a big smile on his face as he listened to you list the reasons why the cookies and cream ice cream was the best of all, completely enamored with the passion with which you addressed such trivial topics as ice cream flavors. 

He loved everything about you, even the things you saw as flaws. There was nothing he wanted more at that moment than to tell you how he felt about you, to hold you in his arms and kiss you until he couldn't feel his lips. But he knew he couldn't -he shouldn't-, your friendship was the most important thing to him and he couldn't lose it for anything in the world.

"I'm sorry for kissing you today," he apologized, breaking the small silence that had formed. "I hope it doesn't make things weird between us."

"Oh no don't worry about it," you downplayed it. "And I'm sorry for kissing you too."

"You know I care about you, right?" James put his empty ice cream bowl on the counter, turning completely around so he could look you in the eyes. You nodded your head slightly, losing yourself in the shine in his eyes. Those damn eyes of his! 

"I value our friendship, what we have is something special and I wouldn't want to see it ruined for a stupid decision I made under pressure." There was truth in his words, but there was also pain. He didn't want to ruin your friendship, but he also didn't want to keep being just your friend. He didn't regret kissing you, at least not entirely. A part of him would always be glad he did because no matter what, now he knew what your lips felt like on his.

"Yeah, I get it... Our friendship is the most important thing to me too," you said, but you couldn't stop your eyes from lowering to James' lips. He was too close to you, you could smell his cologne every time you breathed, feel his body heat tickling your side. You couldn't think straight, only feel the devastating weight of longing to feel his lips on yours. If you concentrated hard enough you could still taste his mouth and feel the ghost of his fingers caressing your hips. 

James didn't miss the way your eyes locked on his lips, unconsciously leaning closer and closer to you. A rebellious hand slid over your leg, caressing your thigh gently. Your gaze returned to his eyes then and James saw in them a special glow he had never noticed in them before. It was desire. You wanted him. You were as desperate to feel your lips together as he was. And now that he knew it, he didn't plan to leave you wanting for another second.

Once again he took it upon himself to close the little distance that separated you, bringing your lips together in a kiss full of desperation and repressed feelings. And even though this was the third time you had been in that situation that day, this time it felt different. This kiss was not the product of an impulsive decision made in the heat of the moment. No, this was a kiss that was long overdue, the product of the conscious decision of two people who had repressed their feelings for too long. And that made it taste that much sweeter, it made everything that much more special.

And as James lost himself in the warmth of your body wrapped around his he knew that things between you would never be the same again, but that was a good thing.

[euphorix-moon]

Secrets in the Shadows

Vampire!Eliie x Fem!Reader x Vampire!Abby

Wc:1.5k

Synopsis: After years of your unrequited love for Abby, something or someone gets your attention

A/n: First halloween themed fic. Hope you guys enjoy. ALSO I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GETTING ME TO 100 FOLLOWERS.Love you guys, you guys always keep me pushing to write better fics. <3 (had to reupload due to minor things)

It started two years ago.

It started with Abby , because when has any new part of your life not started with something that the blue eyed girl did? Your life has revolved around Abby since that first time that you guys met in middle school. You guys have been together ever since, stuck close to each other and became best friends. Of course on some level you knew that anything that happened in Abby's life would probably somehow influence your, not that you minded all that much to begin with. But that’s before what happened two years ago.

Two years ago, in the summer before you two were set to start college, Abby kissed you.

She said she just wanted to know what it was like, she just wanted to make sure she didn’t make a fool out of herself the first time she kissed an actual boy and,you agreed to let her try like the idiot you are.

It was supposed to be simple. Just one kiss to get past the nerves and move passed any initial awkwardness they might encounter once they did it for real, because doing it with each other didn’t count. You guys were both girls and they were friends, so of course it shouldn’t be a big deal just letting the blue eyed teen kiss you once.

Unfortunately it was a big deal.

A big enough deal to force you to start asking yourself some questions; questions you'd never thought you'd ever even dream of asking yourself .You guys did it once and then they never spoke of it again. You wanted to talk about it, but you didn’t want to make things weird and Abby…Abby didn’t seem any different from how she was before the kiss and you just knew that bringing it up would definitely just make things weird. So you never spoke about it again, but that doesn’t mean you ever stopped thinking about it. This lead to you pining after your best friend for the better half of your first year in college and most of the second.

There was a period of time in your second year of college when you and Abby weren't on good terms. It had started when Abby had introduced you to her boyfriend Owen. Owen was an okay guy, you didn't really have anything against him but that didn't make you feel any less threatened by him. The episode with Owen was mostly a product of you being scared shitless at the prospect of losing your best friend, but after many failed attempts of breaking them up you realized how happy Owen made Abby so you decided to let the couple together...even if it meant possibly losing any chances you could ever have with Abby.

Not that you had much of a chance anyway.

It wasn’t till a little while later, about two months before the summer was set to start that you had found something that pulled your attention away from pining over Abby and held it.

There were news stories everywhere all over T.V, the internet and the radio for years, the stories about vampires in the neighborhood.

Apparently vicious, heartless monsters with inhumane strength that fed off of the blood of human beings and were able to blend in with society so seamlessly, that you wouldn’t know that you even met a vampire until they sunk they’re teeth into your flesh and drained you of all your blood . Or at least that’s what you heard anyways.

Since you were young you had always been curious in the existence of vampires but it was not something you could really talk about with the adults in your life. Every time you would bring it up to someone they would completely shut it down and switch the topic. You didn't understand why it was such a taboo topic to talk about, and the more people would shut down the topic the more you wanted to find out more about them. Later on though Abby moved into town so you decided to forget about vampires in favor of hearing more stories about your new friend.

You'd never seen a vampire before, never even heard about a vampire murder anywhere near where you lived so it was easy to ignore and brush off as one of those things that “could never happen to anyone we know” and moved on with your life.

But then Abby moved on with Owen and you needed a distraction once again.

You went back into researching about vampires and learning all these facts about them. You went into the history of vampires learning about their first sightings and their diets learning that they not only feast on humans but also other animals as well. You were down the rabbit hole once again.

You came to see vampires in a different light. To you they weren't necessarily bad, it was just in their nature. Everybody needs to do what they have to in order to survive. Although you found yourself trying to understand vampires you still wouldn't know what to do if you ever came face to face with one

****

One night, when you didn’t have anything important to do you took a late run to a convince store. You weren't really hungry per se you just were craving some of your favorite snacks and you also wanted to stretched your legs after being home all day.

Unsurprisingly the store was empty considering the time of night. You had gotten everything you needed before exiting the store as swiftly as you entered. As you left the store you heard the distressed sounds of a kitten screaming coming from behind the store. You were a sucker for cute animals and that included cats, you quickly went around trying to find and help the kitten that was in need.

When you came across the corner, you were greeted to a sight you never thought you'd see. Looking you saw a woman crouched over in feasting on the kitten you had just heard moments earlier. You were so shaken you had dropped everything in your hands alerting the woman who immediately shot up her head to look at you. The overhead light helped you identify the woman as none other than Ellie Williams

Ellie was a girl that attended the same college as you and Abby. You and Ellie had quite a few classes together but you never really spoke to her that much. Most of what you knew about Ellie came from Abby, her supposed "rival". Since the first year of college Ellie and Abby have been at each other's neck for reasons unbeknownst to you. You had thought Abby was simply being dramatic and have tried to talk to Ellie multiple times but Abby for some reason is always there to make sure you don't go anywhere near her.

With an inhumane amount of speed Ellie appeared right in front of you with her face and clothes all still covered in blood. She had gripped your arm tightly before telling you

"Not a single soul will know about this unless you want to be next".

In that moment your fight or flight response had kicked in, you had stared at her wide eyed before running with all the adrenaline your body could provide you. When you got home you made sure to lock all the doors in your house before hiding under your covers for the rest of the night and half of the next day. You had spent all day wondering what that scene with Ellie was the night before.

Eventually you did have to get out of bed because you needed to use the bathroom. You had finished using the bathroom and entered your room again.You were about to go and hide under your covers again until you realized Ellie was standing in the corner of your room. You were about to scream but Ellie rushed over to you again covering your mouth with her hand. "If you scream at all I'll make sure you're dead before anybody opens this door, do you understand". You look her in the eyes before slowly nodding.

"What the hell are you and what the hell do you want from me? I told you i won't tell nobody what i saw yesterday" You stated trying your best to stay calm. You could see the gears shifting in Ellie's head before she finally gave you a response.

"I'm a vampire" Ellie stated bluntly. You felt your throat go dry and felt yourself loosing balance but you still tried to keep your composure."I only came here to make sure you haven't blabbed to anybody about what you saw last night".

"I promise I haven't told anybody anything, I haven't even left my room till now" You pleaded your case.“I can’t guarantee that.How can i be sure that you didn't tell Abby” The brunette said slowly, “Humans are weak, with clear physical tells you don’t know how to hide anything. Especially you."

"I've already told you too much I can't let you go now" Ellie continued cynically.

"Wait there has to be someway i can prove that i won't tell anybody" You continued to plead

"Nope, none that i can think of right now...The only way i can assure that you won't tell anybody is if your mine"

"What?" You were slightly confused where Ellie was going with this

"I want you to be mine"

A/n: This chapter was mostly setup but I hope the first installment interested you guys ! As always feedback is appreciated:)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - No Thoughts Only Bed Friends

March 2023 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 5 of 8 - Consent King is great. The nail clipping injury thing was absurd. I love King’s admission that he’s attracted to Uea’s cool aloof meanness. Also I like that office politics and nepotism have come in to play, this is an office romance after all. King’s “back the fuck off” expression is one of the best. And then there are bits of the friendship/work dynamics that are laugh out loud funny. This is a great show. 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - I honestly can’t decide about the babe character. Do I like him or is he too much an idiot? There is a way to play innocence where it’s cheeky not frustrating, but this is edging on frustrating. Mr Boss is a hard core flirt. What is this I feel? Just… old fashioned trope exhaustion. I HATE the younger brother character but love the home family. All in all, this show still makes me smile, not sure why, but it keeps me watching.  

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 3 of 12 - Continues to be slice of life sweet and somewhat silly. Second lead syndrome strikes... and then vanishes. 

Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) 2 of 12 eps - I just don’t like any of the characters. They’re boring. Also we are back to that old pulp mistake of not matching foundation properly and not blending at the jaw line. Which I find endlessly distracting. I do like that the sunshine idiot time traveller is trying to take care of his dead bestie’s kid and said kid is hella gay for it. 

The Promise (Thai Weds YT) ep 3 of 10 - I’m bored. 

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - A confession is not an excuse. Do we trust Leu or not? Now a random doctor character has shown up? It feels like we are watching the whole thing out of sequence, not just the flashbacks but as if the story hasn’t been edited together properly. what is going on? 

Our Winter (Thai & Korea YT & TikTok under ThaiMiniSeries) ep 12-13 of 14 - whatever. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dating Sim (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 3-4 of 8 - I can’t. It’s so good. They’re so good... and so bad at flirting. And SO into each other. The saddest part of my week is reading the phrase “the next episode will not be available for 7 days.”

All the Liquors (Korea Thurs Gaga & Viki) eps 5-6 of 8 - That’s it, that’s the reason? The chef is allergic to alcohol? I don’t understand, why such a big deal? What happened to that plot point? Why did he change his mind? OK, I guess that is the end of that conflict? Now we’re in it just for a cute romcom? Fine. Who needs story structure? Especially when they have a date that is all about tasting local food and baby boy has a cute striped sweater with extra long flappity-flappy sleeves. The credit extras sequence was GREAT! I found the two gay boys expressions over the hets flirting = one if the most relatable moments in BL cinematic history.  

Unintentional Love Story (Korea Fri iQIYI) 1-2 of 10- Ji Won Young is intent on winning over the heart of Yoon Tae Joon as he's the boss's favorite artist. Plot: evil corporation is evil, artist is DEEP and not evil. Opens with a wrongful termination, debt issues, bird poop, & broken plate = our poor sunshine cutie can’t catch a break. Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is GREAT in this role. Like really good. The tsundere ceramicist better be in hiding for a DAMN good reason. I don’t wan’t to be in another Liquors sitch. Meanwhile: “just a little kabedon to see if you’re gay“ really? That’s your excuse? Love the cafe owner & combative foodie romance boys, side dish syndrome coming on strong already. (The guy playing the muscled waiter is the lead from You Make Me Dance). [FYI I had to search on Google to find it on iqiyi, for some reason they weren’t listing the first 2 eps internally: Ep 1, Ep 2]

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea Tues Viki & Gaga) eps 1-2 of 7 - Adaptation of Dongmul's manwha, high school set, features a teasing confident gay, and a rich/poor pairing. Star idols Jaehan & Yechan BOTH from OMEGA X, a first for the industry. AND..... I don’t like it. Very bully romance, without the mature teasing of Semantic Error or the kinky hotness of My Beautiful Man. I HATE outing with false accusations (implication = to be gay is evil), aided and abetted by adults. (It’s as close to a trigger as I get.) It makes for an unforgivable bad-boy character. Lots of the “crash into me“ trope. (Who do they think they are? Taiwan?) I’ll keep watching but I’m not happy about it, and I don’t see how they can possibly redeem the bad boy - tragic past or no. Now that he switched to flirting the dynamic is better, but I will never trust him. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan Fri GaGa) ep 5 of 6 - Honestly? Perhaps their relationship should end. Why do I care? They seem ill suited. 

It’s Airing But ...

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) - saving to binge if the end is solid.

Blue Sky Complex (Japan ???) 5 eps for VR - Kei Ichikawa's manga is getting a JBL adaptation. Weird distribution though, it started Feb 27 sequentially on 360 Channel (SHOCHIKUch) a VR video distribution service. Will inter-fans ever get to see this, and if it’s filmed for VR will it adapt without being overly dark and fuzzy? I have questions. But as usual, you do you Japan and we will wait (im)patiently to see if you remember the rest of the world exists. This is my preferred kind of live action yaoi, so fingers crossed.

Boyband (Thai) ep 2 of 10 - Stopped airing on YouTube, and only available in Thailand & Japan. Not sure if they’re working a distribution deal or just fucking with us.

Cafe In Love (Thai ???) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV Thailand) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. Same as above.

Heesu In Class 2 (Korea Thurs unknown, I check Viki Gaga iQIYI & WeTV nada) - A gay(er) version of Sex Education. I’m still not sure this one is actually happening.

In case you missed it

I’m putting this here because I missed it: Ready?

Laos produced their version of Boys Over Flowers called Oh My 4. It is... not very good BUT 2 of the F4 have a BL arc with each other!!! (The bad boy and the musician.) You know I’ve been wanting the all gay BoF for YEARS but this is as close as we’ve gotten. Don’t ask, I have no idea how to get it all. But some of it is on YT. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Liquors & Jack both end. 

Tomorrow: Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love) about an engineering student and a dentist. We can expect this one to be soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people.

3/22: Make a Wish (Thai Weds YouTube) from WaGa Creative staring Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. It seems to be a light-hearted romance with a comedic flair. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish based on a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). 

Full list of upcoming in March 2023 is here.

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Definitely Top 10 MINE glares (Bed Friend). 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Team B cover of Dang Dang Dang. Look the tiny corner of my heart not occupied by BL is entire taken over by Peak Time. 

[belovedstill]

emoji writing prompts

(inspired by this post)

96 prompts up to your interpretation. take literally, reverse, mix and match! (works well with taking ask suggestions, using random number generators, or rolling dice)

1-6 genre or tone:

🥰 fluff

💔 angst | sad ending | angst with a happy ending

🔞 smut | explicit | suggestive

🔍 mystery

🎃 spooky | horror

😎 crack | humor | meme inspired

+ 1-90 prompts:

🌸 hanahaki | pining | mutual pining

⌛ time travel | reincarnation | time loop | time is running out | immortality | time hijinks | this time they will do it right (do they?)

✉ epistolary | chat fic | letters | postservice au

🧙‍♂️ magic | urban magic | fantasy | be careful what you wish for

☕ coffee shop | restaurant | food industry

🩹 hurt/comfort | fix-it fic

💭 mind-melt | mind-reading | telepathy

🏳‍🌈 queer | queerer | unique queer experience relevant to exactly one person

🌊 merfolk au | stranded on an abandoned island | pirates

🍀 everything goes right | luck doesn't exist but somebody really does make it seem like it does

🥀 unrequited love | dealing with loss | grief

📆 slice of life

📦 delivery | package sent to the wrong address | swapped luggage/suitcase | there's some kind of mix-up happening | move in

🎬 celebrity | actor | PR hell | youtuber | streamer au

💻 internet | social media | bloggers | fandom au | two customers with radically different reviews on a product and they take it personally

🔪 revenge | murder | assassin

📞 wrong number | wrong address | wrong person | customer service | tech support | long distance

🩺 doctor | sick fic

⚽ sports | team | competition | challenge | dare

💍 engagement | marriage | arranged marriage | marriage of convenience | accidentally married | poorly-timed proposal

💋 first kiss | first relationship | first romantic experience | teaching one another how to Romance

👑 royalty | nobility | servant | butler | unequal power dynamic | undying loyalty

🎨 any artist au

🎁 gifts | surprise | keepsake | christmas | holiday | birthday

🤰 pregnancy | mpreg | alternative offspring acquisition options

👶 baby | kidfic | de-aged | age regression | accidental kid acquisition | single parent(s)

👥 resurrection | came back wrong | dark alternate character | came back right but everything else is changed

🦋 butterfly effect - change a seemingly insignificant detail in source material and write how it affects the story

🐾 pet au | animal transformation | pet acquisition | animal-to-human transformation | object-to-human transformation | object-to-animal transformation (you get the drift)

👻 ghost | afterlife | paranormal | supernatural | modern supernatural | mixed supernatural genes

😈 demon | a different kind of hell | pact | soul as acceptable transaction payment | the villain's in charge now

🤡 idiots in love | platonic buffoons | only one brain cell among them | they're so stupid

🏳️ surrender | hope | bargaining

❔ oblivious | didn't know they were dating | mistaken identity | amnesia | nobody remembers them

🛡️ protect | guardian | bodyguard | rescue

💼 office | workplace

✂️ separation, chosen or forced | abandoned | cutting ties

🎓 school | university | academic professions | mentor

🏠 domestic | roommates | neighbours

🧩 soulmates (ideas) | platonic soulmates | destined to be enemies | 3+ soulmates

🏖️ beach episode | change of scenery | more than 'a lot' self-indulgent

🏩 pwp | escort | sex worker | stripper | sugar relationship

🤝 found family | putting differences aside to work together

🧬 appearance/body/behaviour modification | shrunk down | made bigger

💾 found a lost disc/usb drive/notebook/diary | lost phone | decades-old journal/letters found among the belongings of a person who's no longer there

⚖️ getting justice, one way or another | rebellion | protest | doing the dirty work so others can thrive | balance | lawyers au

⚙️ android | futuristic | science fiction | physical workers | making it work

👁 obsession | abduction | kept captive | hostage | stalker | drugged | private detective au

⚠️ make it as messed up as you want | forbidden | taboo

🕳️ something is missing | unsettling | out of the corner of the eye | nearly, almost, not quite | not enough

🤞 must pretend | spy | secret identity | identity reveal | undercover | fake dating | secret relationship | fake-married | fake [insert role] | essentially, they must pretend to be somebody they're not/to be in a dynamic they're not

✨ under a spell | truth compulsion | forced to say the opposite of what they mean | a curse made them do x

🐌 slowburn | sped-up slow burn | over the years

🧸 childhood friends (to a dynamic of choice) | separated in childhood, reunited in adulthood

⚔ enemies (to a dynamic of choice) | meddling enemies | rivals (to a dynamic of choice)

🔁 transmigration | isekai | swapped places | role reversal | body swap

🔀 crossover | fusion | characters from X piece of media put in the world of the last piece of media you've enjoyed | make it your favourite piece of media from your childhood

⁉ miscommunication | misunderstanding | wrong place, wrong time

🔆 harem | reverse harem | poly relationship

🛏 bedsharing | accidentally falling asleep on one another | passing out | dream-sharing | invite to stay over

🔮 fairytale | mythology | folklore | legend | prophecy

😶 love triangle | two-person relationship/love triangle (they know each other as two people) | one-night stand turns out to be the new boss/professor/awkward dynamic

🔒 forced proximity | locked in a room | trapped together | handcuffed together | snowed in

🤲 huddling for warmth | sharing body heat | touch starved

💬 rumours | lies | misconceptions and dealing with them

💥 set off the (conflict) bomb | right before the blow-up | argument | fight | pranks

✊ superheroes and supervillains | superpowers | the chosen one(s) | deemed to be the cursed/unlucky one

🔥 rebirth | sacrifice | sacrifice of something other than their life | destruction | letting go | ritual | change

💁‍♀️ spite fic (write literally anything you like that fandom/somebody else complained about that you disagree with) aka "they're wrong and i'm going to keep having fun"

#️⃣ love at second/third/nth sight | meet ugly | annoyed at first sight | reluctant

🖤 blind date goes right | blind date goes wrong | stood up | matchmaker

🚗 travelling together | commute | road trip | hitchiking

❕ confession | interrupted confession | confessing when it doesn't matter anymore

🚫 getting what they want but not in the way they want it | not like this

🖊 doomed from the start | it was always going to end like this | it didn't have to end this way

🐱‍👤 did a crime on accident | did a crime very much not on accident

👭 doppelgangers, lookalikes | twins | they meet their alternate self from an alternate word/different time

👂 as they go through their day, they hear a voice and it's strangely familiar (oh no) | the voice in their head actually has their best interest in mind | two souls trapped in one body fighting for control

❌ the plot is trying to incite an event for them but they refuse to have any part in it and they will outrun it

🍸 alcohol/substance use | in vino veritas | choices were made and all that's left is regrets | choices were made and there are some gains actually | remembers nothing of what they did while drunk (others may be kind enough to spare no detail)

👍 support group | dealing with issues | compromise

82. 👪 meet the family | meet the friends 83. 💰 CEO | rich x ordinary | two different worlds collide 84. 🌠 rarepair! | rarer! | unlikely friends 85. ⚡ The Realisation | oh moment | oh no moment | learning something crucial yet horrifying they wish they could forget | the antagonist was right after all 86. 0️⃣ last day alive | apocalypse | they truly only have each other left 87. ✔ it was somebody's plan all along | they sure were aware the whole time it was somebody's plan all along | scheme | trap | gotcha | test 88. 🎲 choose an action for character to take and roll d20 - that's how well it goes, write it 89. ➕ anything at all inspired by an emoji not from this list sent in an ask or randomly generated 90. ® get a string of 3+ random emojis from an emoji generator (e.g. this one or this one or any other) and write a story based on them

if you're disappointed that a prompt you wanted to find isn't on the list, take it as a sign to write it 👀

and if none of these spark creativity, check out Hatch's Plot Bank with 2300+ plot ideas

screenshots of the emojis under the cut

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x16 It's not Easy Being Green

Note: I don't know who created the above gif. If you're the creator, reach out to me, and I'll add an attribution.

Summary:  A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my    rewatch of season 3 of Once Upon a Time.  There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season.  Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on Captain Swan’s epic love story.

Word Count: 649

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emotions swirled within her that evening as she heard the knock at her door at the B&B and opened to find her son and Killian–windswept, smiling, excited–standing before her.  So many emotions, she wondered how they could all exist within one person and not tear her apart.

Grief over Neal’s death, anger over the Zelena for causing it, frustration that they’d survived the recent encounter but still been thoroughly trounced, relief that her son at least was safe and happy, something like butterflies at the very sight of Killian, guilt that she might, possibly, perhaps, in some small way feel….something…for him.  Not love of course!  Couldn’t be that, but…something.  But yes guilt that she could feel anything for someone else when Neal had just died, anger at Neal for his bull-headed stupidity in getting himself killed.

Yes, all of that, but above all, an overwhelming desire to run.  A part of her deep inside knew things were more complicated now, that she couldn’t just run back to New York, to the good life she’d thought she had, and forget about all of this–Storybrooke, magic, being the savior, her family, Henry’s family. Killian.  But the fact that she knew that was the case didn’t make the desire lessen.

Why, why, why couldn’t she just have an ordinary life?  A peaceful one?  One where she didn’t have to worry about some sadistic green witch turning her son into a flying monkey?  One where she could have an ordinary job (albeit one with more than a little danger and unpredictability)?  One where she could have a perfectly ordinary (even if kind of boring) man to love?

He was lying to you.  He was really just another one of Zelena’s flying monkeys, the honest part of her that she could never completely drown out pointed out helpfully.

And there it was.  Even her happy, ordinary life was an illusion.  But she’d built a happy, normal life for herself and Henry.  She could do it again, and she could put all of this behind her.

At least so she told herself when she was alone, when Killian wasn’t standing in front of her looking at her like that–like he knew her, really knew her to her core and loved her anyway.  It was terrifying.

“How did the queen fare against the witch?” Killian asked as soon as Henry disappeared into their room.

“She survived, but the rest is definitely more than a doorway conversation,” she said a little dismissively.  But Killian deserved more than that.  He deserved at least a little gratitude.  “Thanks for taking him.”

Killian smiled wistfully.  “There’s more Bae in your boy than you realize,” he said sadly.  

She could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice.  It was easy to forget–especially after the idiots the two of them made of themselves over her in Neverland, but Killian cared for Neal too, mourned him too. She prepared to say something comforting, something to let him know she understood and was there for him like he’d been there for her, but then he continued and touched on the heart of the issue.

“He needs to know about his father, Emma,” he said gently but firmly. “You can’t just take him back to New York when this is over and pretend like none of this is real.”

The fear, guilt and need to run bubbled up again, and she knew she couldn’t deal with this any more tonight. 

And so she ran.  Rather than answer, she smiled sadly, said good night and disappeared into her room.  One day, probably one day soon, she’d need to confront the truth of what he’d said, but that day was not today.  Today she just needed to shut him out, listen to her son gush about the fun he’d had with Killian, and pretend like normal was still possible.

NEXT CHAPTER->

[sillyname30]

I just listened to the latest episode of and that's what you really missed on Glee. Part 2 of the Darren episode.

Jenna: Somewhere Only We Know is a fan favorite. Darren:  Keane was one of my favorite bands in highschool. I was doing it in LA and I remember I was really weirded out by it because I love this record. I didn't dislike it. I just was this is such a good record. I don't want to tarnish this and this is how I felt on the day we were at that school. I have really sensitive eyes. And they had those giant mirrors. I was melting. (You can tell by looking at the performance.) But the lesson I take away with this is once you make something and it's released to the world it does not belong to you any longer. Whatever experience people have with something that you made belongs to them and their experience.

Kevin: I want to hear when you first started working with Chris because Blaine and Kurt became a worldwide cultural sensation. Darren: I came in with luckily the tools to really appreciate for what I was doing in some way. I just so happen to have a strong and comfortable relationship with queerness itself. I live a very cultural queer life. I felt a huge responsibility but also was like 'Man, I'm glad that it's me because I don't mind talking about this. I don't get skittish.'

I met Chris and I watched him on TV and I know how much people love him. I'm supremely aware any time spent with him be near impossible outside of Glee once the episode is on. I had tickets to go to see Sutton Foster. I just met this person. And he's like a big deal, very recognizable cultural figue at this point. And I say: 'Hey, man. I have an extra ticket to see Sutton Foster tonight. Do you wanna go? My treat. Let's get some dinner, get to know each other a little bit. We have all these scenes coming up and it be nice just to start this relationship in a more personal way than we're doing on set.' And bless his fucking heart he said yes.

Darren: I have never met any from your side. We were two different planets for a long time. I'm on my own show. Different people, different building. By the time I interacted with you, you guys were your own cliques/family. I remember the tour was the first time I spent time with you guys personally. I will never forget walking around Toronto by myself. I remember walking into a bar and Naya and Dianna were having drinks in the back. And at this point I don't really know them. They were like 'come, sit down.' And I remember at the end of that I was like 'so good to meet you guys.'

Darren on the difference of his Glee experience: I'm came in like the 11th hour, but I'm not shooting every day. I'm maybe shooting a day or two and when I do, it's just my shit. If I was there I was doing something. Even on the tour you did 85 % of the show. I park my fucking blazered ass on stage for 10 minutes, do 3 songs and I was out.

What is the feeling that Glee leaves you with? It's such a gleeful experience. I know there are a lot of hairy things that people may think they know happened on the show or project happened on the show. Maybe because I'm a happy idiot, because I can block out that stuff, maybe because I just was at the right place at the right time. I had an A+ experience on that show. I loved every minute, every person truly. I have a wonderful, positive story about every single person individualy.

[respectthepetty]

So. I’m watching “the theory of love” and I have two things to ask

1. Does anyone actually like Kai? He doesn’t seem to care about Threees feelings at all or about his actions.

2. EARTH IS ON THIS!!?!!???? I stupidly have been waiting for Mix to turn up but obviously this was Pre?

3. Gun never gets a rear does he. Poor guy has to cry in every show he does.

4. They’re in uniforms a lot so been finding the colouring boys difficult so far.

Is that too many questions?! 😂

Anon, I like how you pulled a me and instead of asking two questions, you asked four! So let me get to answering them.

But first, Khai and Third are IKEA Queers, so . . .

Does anyone actually like Kai? He doesn’t seem to care about Threees feelings at all or about his actions.

Me. I like Khai. We are IKEA Queers, so we have to stick together.

Feel free to judge me, but after episode six, watching him suffer was food for my petty soul. This is what I want from my pendejos. If they are going to fuck up as badly as Khai did (THE FAKE-DRUNK KISS!), then I want them to feel pain. A lot of it. All the time. No relief.

And Khai definitely felt it.

All the time.

The idiot would not take no for an answer (but that's a JittiRain special), yet Third gave him back all the pain he gave to him, and that's what I like to see - revenge. Even in the special, Third was still kind of a jerk to Khai, and was looking even better for it.

I would never believe they would make it beyond this show (even with the four year time skip), but JittiRain said they are still together and going strong in Vice Versa with "RELATIONSHIP" right above Third's head, so . . . good for them?

Gun never gets a rear does he. Poor guy has to cry in every show he does.

Earth, Fluke, First, and Gun. Those are the men you hire if you want them good ass tears.

Amen.

Earth and Fluke had Until We Meet Again while Gun and First had Not Me, and those are both top-tier shows for most people. Imagine all four in one show, just crying, destroying our hearts every week. However, I'm going to put this on the record right now though - - First can outcry them all. I believe this with every fiber of my being. A director would just have to say "Khaotung doesn't want to be your friend anymore" and GAME OVER!

EARTH IS ON THIS!!?!!???? I stupidly have been waiting for Mix to turn up but obviously this was Pre?

The wildest thing to me is Earth played Type in Love by Chance which means he was Type of TharnType before the role was recast. Can you image Phupha as Type?! I have never watched a MAME series, but this seems WILD to me.

And Earth was paired with New in Water Boyy, like New of TayNew.

And of course, we got that taste of him with Papang in Moonlight Chicken.

So I think it's strange that Earth has worked with Mix several times when the behind-the-scenes for A Tale of Thousand Stars seemed as if director Aof was ready to murder Earth because he was playing around between takes, while Mix was crying every two seconds from stress and anxiety (which caused him to pass out). Mostly when White was RIGHT THERE!

Please, GMMTV, keep mixing things up forever and ever. Amen.

They’re in uniforms a lot so been finding the colouring boys difficult so far.

I watched it when it aired and haven't rewatched it since, so I don't remember if there was color-coding, but from my saved pictures, it seems like I had a theory that Third was a Yellow/Orange Oddity

but I have no notes, and the other pictures aren't telling me a complete story, so I think I got upset watching it and stopped tracking the colors. I stay petty.

I'd have to go back and rewatch it to give you a proper answer BUT I won't do that if JittiRain screws me over for the sixth time with Be My Favorite. So I'll make a deal with you, Anon - If Be My Favorite doesn't give me lies, manipulation, and the normal JittiRain (JR) nonsense to the extent her other series have included, I'll go back and rewatch Theory of Love for potential color coding.

But if JR fucks over my baby boy Pisaeng, not even the IKEA Queers can save this color-coding mission.

Pray for us all.

[cboffshore]

So what direction is OSSAS going in with the next installment, now that we've seen Nya power struggle with Nadakhan via seagulls and chess? 👀

I'm going to answer this one under the cut just in case someone who sees this hasn't read it yet (in which case: GO! that is a prerequisite for this course! get outta here! and leave me comments, dammit!), but I know that doesn't include you. You've been enrolled in the honors course.

The big thing right now is that plans are super fluid. I'm in the very loose brainstorm stage, which means I wake up at 3 am, jot something bizarre down in my ideas server, and then interpret in the morning and hope it works. Everything I'm about to say is subject to change, but with that being said, here's what #5 looks like now.

Timeline: We're jumping straight to episode 64, post-wedding. This is one of the few things that are pretty much non-negotiable. We know the buildup, the sword handoff, Nya's manipulation - I don't need to rehash that. Dan and Kevin did that for us. Instead, I've got the mother of all blank spaces to fill once Delara takes up residence in Nya's body.

Remember that line in IICT(OSC) where Nadakhan tells Nya he thinks that her being unconscious for the rest of her life would probably be preferable to having to endure his presence? Whether or not making sure she's comfortable is a genuine desire of his (spoiler: it's not. the possession is just him shoving her to the back of the storage closet so he doesn't have to deal with her shit. who'da thunk it?"), he's going to fuck it up, bad. This is partially because I've determined and highlighted that he is shit at checking his own work (source: the fact that anyone remembers Skybound at all, especially the floating temple! and I know there's that line in the ceremony, but that never happened, so, like... HUH????) and partially because, if I made it actually work as intended, #5 would just be like those Twilight chapters where Meyer represents a bunch of months with blank pages. (I've never read Twilight, but I've heard great things about that technique. It's not something I can get away with.) In other words: boring. I've always believed strongly in the importance of the Idiot Ball in any story, and this is no exception. Nadakhan once again has plenty of hands free to catch it.

Which, of course, means Nya's gotta be conscious for this, and as is par for the OSSAS course, pissed. Nadakhan's actually right that being unconscious would be an upgrade in this case (too obtuse to realize that and realize what a self-dig that is, yeesh). So: we've got a pissed off soul bouncing around while Delara takes her body for a test drive. That's a workable setting. What are we going to do with that?

WE ARE NOT going to insinuate any spicy activity between Delara and Nadakhan. This is also non-negotiable. I've seen that a handful of times in fics that bother to even acknowledge what's going on with Nya (and I can count those on, like, two fingers), and it's big-time DISGUSTANG. I don't think one can both rail against Nadakhan being a creep and then endorse those versions of the story... I'll move on before my ears start shooting out steam.

First off: you know my stance on SA in Skybound stuff. I'm sure as hell not writing it. Second, I genuinely don't think that's on Nadakhan's mind, and to act like it is cheapens his character. For my sake and his, I'm trying to work from the interpretation that he is both of the following:

This specific tattoo - that is, too enamored with the fact that holy shit he pulled it off to do anything but marvel while that goofy love theme from The LEGO Movie plays and everyone's hair does the slow-mo romantic swivel:

2. Too tied up in his own self-doubt to really give a shit about that. The single most frustrating and interesting sequence in the finale to me is the part where he badgers Delara about if she forgives and/or still loves him for what he's done. He can barely believe she's here, let alone that she forgives him! I'm not a fan of the idea that he can balance that shock and disbelief with Enthusiastic Adult Activities. I'm also hoping to keep going with that brief angle I mentioned where Nadakhan's got two names for that face now, and I don't think that could reconcile very well. Nope, sorry, dude! Pathetic Wet Chihuahua time for you. Nonexistent pants stay on. Nobody needs to see your legs.

Nya's had enough shit happen to her - even by my relatively clean standards! I'm not doing that. Also, I don't know how much I want to rehash the death scene, although maybe I'll change my mind and continue the trend of building on the glimpses from Small Cuts.

Here are some options for what I might do (again, all subject to change, just some general ideas I've tossed around):

Let Nya witness not quite the beginning of the possession. Wakes up five minutes in, realizes what's happening... major introspection opportunity, really. And you know I love introspection.

Have Nya give Delara a migraine just because. Like, an actual migraine, or maybe just a nasty thunderclap headache. If Nya can't operate her body solo, nobody can. This could also be her causing other types of chaos - maybe she tightens Delara's grip on Nadakhan's hook and he flinches. Because of the chess aftermath, of course. Or some such chaos - little tweaks, like she's reaching in from the backseat and futzing with the radio and the AC and the hand brake.

Pull Nya's soul out of her body entirely and just let her wander around and witness different parts of the finale. Maybe she's on the deck when Flintlocke gets his aim back. Maybe she's the reason that loose locker with the venom in it turns up - maybe she drags it out after Clancee stashes it to help the team find it faster. Maybe the only reason Jay manages to pick her up is because Nya bum-rushes Delara, shoves her out of the driver's seat, and then stops in her tracks just long enough to let Jay yeet her across the lawn. (Remember: the scream sound effect they use in that scene is Nya's!)

But who's to say, really?

Thanks for the ask!

[scjacka]

This will probably just end up being a draft because no one wants to hear me ramble. But tumblr is the only place where I can go full hyperfixation on the SC franchise specifically and I really need to get this crap out of my head because I’m an idiot.

It took me like 90 minutes to get through the first two episodes because I kept pausing to scream at thing. Bless my husband for dealing with me

My first pause/scream happened at the Sara scene because I called it from the trailer which I yelled several times. Also Sara’s deal, relatable.

Actually that’s a lie, I paused after the friggin 20 minute pointless donut scene.

Why when there are flashbacks does the aspect ratio change?

Noel confused me and I don’t get his deal. Idk the try hard thing felt like an even more annoying Curtis to me.

Also, I’m confused on the hierarchy of the Pole now. Like I’m under the assumption Betty is the head elf. But then there’s also that other elf that’s there to greet Scott when he arrives (I think her name is Edie but idk cause we didn’t stay with anyone long enough to understand their roles and names) and idk who she is except another hyper exuberant werido, lol

I like that there is an elf named Crouton. Idk why but I like it

Speaking of Crouton, the scenes in the comm center felt very Prep and Landing to me. Like even down to the revised machines and the way Betty feels like Magee.

The elves danced... there was a cake... that is not every what I pictured the end of the season at the pole like but you do you

All the stuff with Carol not remembering her name really freaked me out. Like, literally between 2 and 3 they said that they weren’t going to make Carol the traditional Mrs Claus because they wanted her to be herself and the old makeup and stuff looked weird.

IDK something about all the elves and the way they portrayed the Claus family really weirded me out. the part where they were all like “MUST MAKE TOYS NOW” felt like a cult and just like a little too far. Give them a sec to breathe. The kids are a mess, especially Buddy (which again, why you callin him Cal especially Cal Calvin). But I think the daughter bugs me most cause I can’t get over the nepotism of it all. Also just like the  “there hasn’t been a human kid here in 84 years” warning was also ominous and weird.

Obviously there was the “you can’t even say Merry Christmas” line which like, ok boomer. I’m real scared for how the Christ in Christmas shit he was spouting is gonna factor in.

So is Cider actually alcoholic in this universe now, cause they were acting much more like it was booze than they ever did with cocoa.

Shocked they mentioned Jack at all. Assume that will be it and we won’t see any of the Council at all

Also in one of the those dumb Allen interviews he said one version had lots of other mythical creatures but he thought that was weird and not in the spirit of the movies which like, ok fine if you’re only acting like 1 happened, but clearly you picked and chose what you wanted from 2 & 3 and then everyone is screaming about Gnomes! like what?

Jumping back I guess cause none of this is in order but when he went to the doctor I was like “where is Dr. Histmas” because idgaf about that character but that name is always funny to say. I like the new doctor elf though. Her name is Doc Martin though which is dumb

Except that she basically was referring to his magic going like it was ED and I was like, nope, no thanks!

idk how I feel about all the Kal Penn stuff. Like you’re sorta setting his story as a parallel to Scott’s but he seems to actually care about his kid and when you get to the Charlie scene (I’ll get there next) the line is that the pole is a bad place to raise kids so what does that do to his daughter if he becomes Santa

Charlie... oh Charlie Charlie Charlie. I like in theory what they did with him. Like he’s a good dad now and doesn’t need to learn the lesson his dad did so he’s like, no thanks. But the way they made his wife seem overbearing and crazy felt like it was more of that boomer crap and just kind of ruined the whole scene.

I think I have other things to say but they’re not coming to me now. I will say that my current prediction is, much like Daredevil in She-Hulk, Bernard won’t show up until the second to last or the last episode despite being in all of the ads. Like they’re teasing us cause they know we want to see him so they’ll save him for the very end. I’ve also joked that much like Daredevil in She-Hulk, Jenn’s gonna “smash” him 

[loopy777]

So one interesting take i've seen on why the two first seasons of korra was so bad, is that in large part, the plot just was not well suited for her to grow, especially compared to aang's journey. Aang was a pacifist who always wanted to try and figure out the more peaceful solution, but the setting was one that constantly challenged his stances and beliefs, and forced him to grow.

Meanwhile, Korra was a much more agressive and theoretically pro-active protagonist. She was someone who wanted to handle everything with violence, and shoot first, ask questions later.

However the show never really managed to take advantage of this to tell a good story. For a pletora of reasons.

Korra doesn't really get enough scenes in the first two seasons where she's challenged on something that couldn't theoretically be solved by simply crushing someone in combat.

The show seems like it's gonna have something like that with the anti bender sentiment, but at the end of the day Korra isnt forced to actually confront Amon's ideology head on and refute it by showing how much good bending does for the world. No it comes down to just another fight.

As chilling as it is at a first viewing, the scene where Korra is overpowered in the dark, doesnt force Korra to face her ideals in relation to the villain... Rather it's instead her acting like an idiot in terms of combat strategy, and being crushed as a result. None of her talk with Amon leads to a truly interesting hero villain dynamic that such a scene should lead to.

And this is a constant with Korra and her villains, where it's only the two later seasons(3 far more than 4) where she she has a genuine ideological fight with her villain.

Also because of it's piss poor action scenes, that was such a downgrade compared to what came before, it did not manage to make any of her fights a visual spectacle.

Also because the way the show was set up, Korra additionally came across as way weaker than aang despite in theory being much better suited for combat(The way the villains could not be defeated before the final episode just means they push Korra around until it's time for the final showdown. Compare this to the very active back and forths the gaang had with azula and you see the problem).

This in turn wouldn't have been as noticeable, if the show hadn't made such a big deal about her combat proficiency at the very start.

Frankly speaking, it struck me that the best moment in season 1 is when Korra finally has had enough, and does what she should have done way sooner. Crush the corrupt tyrant, in a massive display of power just like how Roku crushed Sozin.

However, then, rather than have this moment that the show has been building towards reach it's natural climax, and only THEN have or Stalin stand-in come out of the shadows to take power in following power vacuum Korra has just created, instead the show has Korra be beaten in a surprise twist, then have Amon swoop in and steal the show.

There was an obvious storyline here that had been built up, tailor made to fit Korra's personality in both strengths and flaws, that would have made the subsequent takeover of the city(only possible because she removed the stabilizing big tyrant while having no plan) in large part her fault, and so fixing it would have real, genuine pathos for her, and been a critical point of her character development, and in turn would have played well into playing with a series wide theme that you need to actually have a plan.

It also would have made her actions a mirror to Amon's.

Good intentions and actions aren't enough. You need an actual plan, with good lasting results, not just rush forward based on nothing but the belief you're the morally righteous person in the room.

However, the narrative instead removes her agency in the plot by having her lose the fight for the sake of a shocking twist, which just makes her look weak, and shifts the story's narrative to be about the bloodbender brothers instead.

And this happens a lot more too. Hell, i like season 3 and 4, but this happens in both of them too, just not too such a massive extent.

The show simply isnt able to commit to telling a story about a protagonist who is much more agressive and trained than Aang.

Aang lost fights too. He had to run away. He had to think outside the box to solve his problems. But the difference is that a large part of the original series was that it was a critical plotpoint that Aang was not trained enough for most of the series to be able to do what Roku did, and had to train to reach that level.

By comparison, Korra was, but the show didnt really get how that should fundamentally change the show, and how in turn they needed to tailor the plot, developments, and challenges to fit with that change.

What Amon and all the other villains needed, wasn't some ludicrous powerlevels that constantly upped the stakes(Obviously they needed to be strong enough to pose a threat, but only one of them was about as strong as he needed to be for his story to work), but genuine, real moral debates with Korra, where even if it's clear they're wrong, you understand both where they're coming from, and the logic behind them. Unfortunately, only 1 of them really got that treatment, and shockingly, he was the best villain in the show by a mile.

But in any case, what's your thoughts on this argument? Agree? Disagree? Or maybe you have something to add that i didn't cover.

I think I largely agree, except on a handful of points:

I think the Book Change finale was good spectacle, with a poisoned Avatar State Korra leaning entirely on her power to keep fighting. Seeing Korra unleashed so fully really did come across as outclassing even Aang, and the presentation made full use of it.

Tangentially, I think I disagree that Korra comes across as "weaker" than Aang, unless you mean that metaphorically. I think Korra shows more raw strength and endurance, and her fighting style/strategy makes use of that, but Aang comes across as more effective because he fights smarter. Azula is usually such a difficult fight for the gAang because she fights even smarter than Aang. But if you mean "weaker" meaning "less effective" then yes, I agree.

I also think I disagree that Korra needed to actually have in-story debates with her villains. That certainly would have been one way to handle things, but I can think of thematically solid stories where Korra and her villains don't even meet but their ideologies are brought into conflict by the story. In those cases, the villains themselves don't need to accept their defeat or Korra's point of view, and instead the proxy in their conflict -- the population of Republic City or the Earth Kingdom or whatever -- are won over by Korra and the villains are left without support.

But overall, yes, you summarize the main problem with LoK very well. The initial concept of inverting Aang's situation is good, but the stories told about Korra still wound up as action-adventure shows with climactic fights, undermining the whole intention. I think you raise a great point about how Korra's lack of agency undermines the ideological conflict. I'd never thought about it in those terms, but I love your description about how Korra not being allowed to win a fight until the end did the most damage to the message about how solutions other than fighting were needed. Korra winning a fight and seeing how that only makes things worse would have been a much more impactful lesson than losing.

It's such a shame, because the whole fighter-Avatar-needs-to-work-in-times-of-peace concept has a lot of opportunity in it, and Korra herself is a great character who has a lot of logical depth beyond just being good at fighting. But, as you note, the storytellers were so obsessed with their twists that they shortchanged the actual compelling part of their story.

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

ok episode 10 time. i ended up only putting together the head and body of the mk-ii earlier

starting off with sarius trying to bring up aerial again to the benerit group to try and get some punishment in but rajan is like lol nope.

given how we later see prospera and delling together at the end of this ep, i figure its a pretty good assumption that some time between grassley duel and now (its 2 months from what shaddiq says later), delling bring prospera on for quiet zero and he likely also help front aerial's repairs

also man vim is a fucking idiot lol. i totally forgot he says this to sarius. and then iirc all we get once we're in cour 2 is peil bringing up that jeturk suits were used at plant quetta which like yea lmao he can't be like oh btw i knew about it all beforehand

oh this little lovestruck tanuki

knowing endgame miorine, what are the chances that little lesbian was keeping count like this too

i'm glad suletta no longer sees relationships as transactional but lmao this little gay baby. just ecstatic to be of use to miorine and tend to the greenhouse while shes away

honestly cool as hell that they got this prototype all set in the last two months - likely mostly nika and belmeria's work. i have a dumb headcanon that gund-arm probably didn't really get to do much R&D in the 3 year time skip because of all the loose ends miorine's probably been dealing with from the benerit group, on top of taking care of suletta, taking care of her mother-in-law and then nika's in fucking jail lol. even then, since it's likely ojelo and nuno were the ones doing most of the work (maybe belmeria still helping?), it's still neat that they have prosthetics about to start testing rounds with petra. yeah i wrote all this just to say wow nika's so smart

this scene is so ridiculously heartwarming lol she's such a little dweeb

who knew these stupid things would become such an integral part of the story lol

also, i'm glad we didnt get the secret message inside cool-san thing everyone kept theorizing about after the break up. that just wouldnt have made any sense with what miorine was trying to do lol

gosh its so nice to be rewatching this and just KNOW somewhere within those 2 months suletta and miorine's relationship just became normalized to the earth house kids and we just see it over and over in this episode

like when has nika referred to suletta as hanamuko-san lol and she does so immediately after our tanuki is gushing about giving miorine the ugly ass keychain lol

oh yeah, shes thinking of her tanuki

in retrospect this was kind of insanely naive of miorine, wasnt it? shes lucky feng jun and guston weren't onboard with what the rest of the SAL was cooking up

lol at this "stick to your duels". my dude you literally fund proxy wars on earth. you have no moral ground to stand on

lol this episode really is so good at setting up for episode 11. just look at her happy little faces each and every single time she's felt useful

oh the fucking bracelet 😭

weird to think shaddiq's plan works out in the end and plot convenience keeps delling alive, but it pretty much ends up as his plan of trying to obtain majority shares

i hope they've just been teasing her for 2+ weeks miorine's been gone and possibly even before then

iconic tanuki shot

platonically, of course. as gal pals.

actually i think of note in this scene with elan and him planting doubt in suletta's brain is whether what he says is true or he's just making shit up as part of doubt sowing. but he's basically implying that miorine has been acting in such a way that everyone at school is talking about it and they can't believe how different she's being. and part of that is certainly true given what shaddiq's said numerous times over the last few episodes

lol this will always remain such an excellent take on the misunderstanding trope

oh yea and don't forget mom and dad

almost forgot there's a post-credits scene on this ep. i wonder what his original plan to break up the group was before the delling assassination plan fell in his lap

also imaging living in a world where BOBBU became a class traitor and actually learned from his experiences..... yea right lmfao

ok definitely not finishing the 1st cour because it's taken me forever to watch this one episode. gonna see how many episode i knock out over the weekend

[crazy56u]

And so Kevin has ruined dinner. 👏

Ben is having a breakout right now, smooth one, Kevin.

“Ben, what the fuck, you’ve been here for like two hours!”

Ben is playing with fire right now by hugging another man’s wife.

MORAL OF THE STORY: The Slow Path is real and horrible and makes time travel love stories a bitch and a half to deal with.

“Don’t tell me there are more Nazis in New Jersey…” I was about to make a Blues Brothers joke, but then I remembered that was Chicago.

Addison, I swear to God, to quote Radiohead, you do it to yourself, and that’s what really hurts.

Meanwhile, Kevin and Josh have been screaming this whole time.

Kevin is about to blind someone, I swear to fucking God.

Hannah has her priorities in check, clearly…

Hannah has invented the Spinny Thing.

“Do you think it’s possible to love two people at the same time?” Ben is about to discover polyamory.

“You have a child, your heart expands, it then explodes, it’s a real bad thing.”

Oh fuck, Hannah’s family has been sitting on a gold mine of teddy bear smugglers.

“Why take loose diamonds?” Why ask stupid questions?

Oh goody, Ben just caused the ending of Red Dead Redemption.

Okay, Kevin, crash course time: Ghosts are real, Hannah knows more than you, and you’re all about to experience Red Dead Redemption.

…or this turns into Home Alone, that works too.

“Look, honey, you don’t want to know how I really know Nick, just go hide upstairs while we do Home Alone.”

Okay, now this is turning into the laundromat scene from Breaking Bad, Quantum Leap is a versatile show.

At least Kevin is aware of how much of an idiot he is.

Calling it: Kevin is going to intentionally get himself shocked in order to help take out the others.

Kevin, you need to work on your tight five the next time you want to rant about encyclopedias.

I am surprised she didn’t just shoot him then and there.

“At least the Accelerator has a sense of humor.”

Ben, if the next Hannah leap involves the two of you in a house fire, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Selling weapons to dictators =/= stuffing blood diamonds into teddy bears.

DANGER, DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE! WHEN WE TOUCH! WHEN WE KISS!

Welcome to the Royal Rumble!

And Red Ryder saves the fucking day!

Kevin, Ben’s patience is running thin, and the episode is almost over, quit while you’re ahead.

“Awkward sibling hug. …pat pat.”

“Thank you for everything; you may have flooded my basement and endangered my family, but you saved my brother, and my wife likes you, so it all hashes even.”

“I could use a happy ending about now.” Annnd mentally setting an egg timer right now…

“…Josh does in 18 months.” Annnd there’s the egg timer.

“I have to tell Hannah about Josh’s aneurysm- GODDAMNIT, FUCK YOU LEAP EFFECT!”

Meanwhile back in 2026, we get more relationship bullshit…

Ben is just batting a fucking thousand today.

[So yeah, Ben can’t save Hannah’s husband, and Addison is now moving on to Tom full stop; fuck it, give him a treasure hunt in 1953 to chew on.]

Okay, this episode was a fucking beauty, and if NBC doesn’t renew the show, honestly, fuck them.

Season 3 needs to happen.