#especially cause its often from people who are like... they just dont want anyone to see their tboy swag icon as anything but transmasc

[lttleghost]

me: I do think it's especially not great that transmasc Jesse overshadows egg Jesse since transmasc Jesse is not as canon compatible-

some dumbasses: OH DO YOU THINK TRANS MEN CAN'T HAVE COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS WITH MASCULINITY? DO YOU NOT THINK TOXIC MASCULINITY HARMS TRANSMASCS? DO YOU JUST HATE TRANSMASC PPL?

me: not what I fucking said

[chaoticallyfluffy]

"What are you, a cop?" and "Now you see me now you don't" both sound interesting

For "What are you, a cop?"

Billy is deaged (actually deaged. He goes from 15 to 10 or something and doesnt remeber the league) during a mission. He suddenly woke up in the middle of a battle so he's freaked out. the Justice League take down the threat then try to calm the boy down, explaining that theyre heros and here to help.

Billy takes a moment to take that in... then bolts.

It takes a bit to catch the kid, he's surprisingly agile for his concerningly small size, but they manage to get him into the jet and hes pouting in the corner looking angrier than the league has ever seen him.

They try to ask questions. Are you okay? Are you hurt? Why are you so thin? Is there anyone we should call? But Billy stays silent and his glares stay intense until he finally speaks.

"I don't talk to pigs." he spits out, giving them the nastiest look as if his glare alone could poison and kill them.

They stare at him for a moment, processing that.

"We're not cops???" Clark says, unconvincingly. Hes never been more confused in his life and has definitely never been confused for a cop.

"Whats wrong with being a cop?" Barry, the forensic scientist, pouts.

They knew that Marvel had a bit of a weird relationship with cops but they didn't realize he hated them, and especially not with such a passion!

The league spends the whole jet ride back to the tower trying to convince Billy that not only are they not cops, but that cops shouldn't be something to be afraid of anyway.

Billy spends the whole trip explaining ACAB to them and that yes, they are in fact cops, and here's all the things that the police system has done wrong that the league have probably also done or been complicit in..

I just want to write Billy radicalizing the Justice League and the league helping to reform the police system.

---

For "Now you see me, now you dont"

In the original comics Billy can and will transform in front of anyone at anytime and they wont realize that it was a transformation. Why?because plot armor. They will just think that the boy ran away right as Captain Marvel appeared or something, and when Billy reappears they don't question it either.

In the fic, its a magic perk that came with the whole Champion of Magic package and its a perk he uses often and irresponsibly. He takes it to the extremes by transforming in front of large crowds (no one questions it), while being recorded (The camera shorts out and stops working completely), and even in front of villains (they curse when the captains escapes yet again, completely ignoring the little boy standing in the middle of their secret base)

The last one is how he figured out that even if he is very much Not supposed to be somewhere, he wont be questioned as long as the only people who see him there also saw Marvel transform in that area. If someone who didn't witness the transformation were to see him, they would realize he wasn't meant to be there and call him out which would cause the witnesses to notice it as well. Leaving the room and then returning would also snap them out of it and he would be questioned.

Its a pretty overpowered ability for a child to have access to and when your a street kid without any video games to play who gets chased out of public parks for being too 'dirty' and can't afford any toys, you have to get creative with your entertainment.

Billy wants to see just how far he can take this power, and decides to transform in front of as many people in one day as possible while on the most highly secure facility in earths orbit- the Watchtower.

Follow Billy as he stretches his powers to their limits by transforming in front of the Justice League while praying he doesn't get caught and see what pranks he's able to pull off in that time!

I really like both of these ideas and I definitely want to write them someday. I already have lots of ideas for ways Billy can abuse that particular power! For now I am focusing on a few other fics but these ones are somewhere in the queue.

[esoteriamaya]

ASTROLOGY QUESTIONS

Hey! A quick engagement post for you all. I've been wanting to have wide discussions on these topics lately and wanted anyone who felt called to answer to express their feelings on any of the questions i have below! Please dont feel the need to hesitate, its all fun and just exploring each others minds lol.

Neptune 12th housers - Do you ever feel silenced in your voice? Like the words you speak, the dreams you carry, people dont bother to listen? They just feel like its noise and dont participate in exploring who you are as an individual. It just feels lonesome.

Venus in the 1st - Do people have high standards and expectations on you? Especially on what you should be like in their own minds view? Ever had to deal with petty arguments that came from out of the blue, just to find out its cause they were secretly envious or had a crush on you?

Mars/Pluto Conjunction - Feel rageful often? How do you use this energy to bring attention to your emotions? Do you have a special outlet for this rage you carry?

Lilith in the 1st - Tired of people looking at you strange? Do you ever feel that you're 'odd looking'? Have others made you feel gross in your own skin? How often do you go to lakes and forests to clear your head?

Moon in Cancer in the 4th - Do you feel alluded or subjected to family issues more often than you should? Does family ever come around and make you feel lonesome, tiresome, and exhausting? like i mean all that you do for them is lovely, they just find it overbearing?

Moon in Taurus - Ever feel like your wants and desires are but a dream? People close the door on you when you express yourself, and only ever do they listen when your mad, bored, or tired? They only feel wanted when your not yourself, is that right?

Scorpio Venus - Is your love life boring? Like.. i got ask this lol. or was it boring BEFORE? At some point did you ever just do something so taboo and adventurous , it almost cost you your life? your past life.

did you get up one day and just figured you make the most of it? so it doesn't matter how much you express your 'lovin' (wink ;) lmao) to others as long as you got it out...?

Mercury in Aries - Does your blunt mouth get you in trouble? Do you ever just go off the dome and speak your ideas, feelings, and desires out loud it makes others think your crazy? Do people ever feel like telling you to have more 'tact' or grace in your speech? How often do you tell someone to fuck off? serious question.

Last one!!

Sun in Gemini - How many masks do you honestly keep up with? Do you ever show your true self to people? And i dont mean just one version just the whole spectrum of being a complex human.

How many secrets have you gotten out of others just by sitting quiet and observing? The spoken and unspoken ones i mean. People dont believe me when i say this, but i always say geminis are just scorpios who are very talkative lol.

None of these were to be shady, btw. I just wanted to converse and have fun with the topics lol.

Let me know in your replies babes!!!!

[nori-the-cat]

a bit of a long ramble but

I'e been observing and following kpop on and off for some time because theres really not much other music out rn besides whatever is mainstream and even that doesnt always interest me enough. but I just wonder why so much of kpop has been so dramatic lately? lkke in these past few years online drama seems to increase surrounding idols especially and what idols do in their personal life doesnt need to be shared online like wtf and it just seems like every small thing for kpop groups tend to become big drama or their fans make it big drama all the time. thats why i watch from afar these days cause it seems anyone can have negative thing to say abt anyone whos in the kpop entertainment. even if there is some good things abt kpop music, overall it doesnt paint it in good light cause it make their fans seem like a pack of wild vultures who watch their idols like hawkes or ppl who cant seem to mind their business or let idols roam freely in their spare time cause smartphones seem to mean ppl can shove them in the idols face esp at airports.

its just kind of tiring most of the time like if people just liked it for the songs it wouldnt be so bad instead it seems to be one extreme or the other. i dont blame idols for never saying who they date bc look at what happened to karina and the actor. social media just spoils the fun of something and makes it into something else enitrely where its now often filled with dramas or toxic behaviours idfk whatever ppl post towards idols it only for them to get more negative reactions. i wouldnt be surprised if most idols are already dating but when it seem to get leaked in the media then ppl who are their fans act like it end of the world. i think the problem isnt social media itself but more so smartphones bc ppl who are more their hard core stans, i guess is the right word, they might go to extremes and they keep showing that extreme behaviour any time something doesnt sit right with them. like one minute the idol can be worshipped and next they can be tarnished so they cant really win anymore.

when ppl say that kpop is becoming westernised i only think thats in the sense of them adding foreigners nowadays to the groups, but the groups and their fans are still very much particular towards things like in 2024 i didnt expect idols dating to still be considered a scandal? whereas in the west they date who they want or idfk adult idols going out to clubs and drinking seem to surprise some folk. even the stuff in the media dont surprise me anymore cause it no a big deal to me at least. honestly with the way their fans behave online and irl towards idols theres one thing im glad abt and that is i will never have to deal with them or knetz lol.

its shame bc theres still so much kpop could bring to music but its so formatted and rigid or set in its ways of doing things. the other thing is they arent debuting older age idols who may have more life experiences and they may be more mentally prepared to handle such fans behaviours or they might have different style vocals and so on, so with that in mind im like its so awkward and horrible to even watch the way much younger idols get treated or mistreated, i should say, by their own fans and maybe by other adults that they work with.

other than whatever is mainstream there doesnt seem to be market for my age group anymore cause in kpop theyre debuting them too young and ik they always done that but it still feels weird to me to like a group whos 4/5/6 years younger than myself. id have loved an other group like btob or a smaller version of exo but nowadays it seems groups have nearly 30 smth members in them and they usually have to be quite young :/ if ateez had been my age it would seal the deal but i dont even care too deeply for them either its just once in awhile sort of thing i will like their songs why does it always have to be more than that?

like im no going to go doolally about every group nowadays either for this reason that my generation seems to be getting left out of a lot of things to do with kpop. like i honestly really feel old these days esp when i look at an idol and theyre like a 99liner or 00liner :O and kpop probs now considers 20 year olds too old as well :( fomo sets in too when u dont particularly care deeply abt dance challenges or latest internet fads cause i rather just like a group for their songs or their talent than their looks or their group position / personality whatever its called

lastly whoever date or marry bts i honestly feel so bad for them like they going to get so much media attention and their fans wont like it either so the internet will descend into more chaos when they marry if they arent already secretly married that is. it really sometimes often feels like the beatles but with the internet involved its 100x more crazy no matter the group it always has bunch of crazies who seem to twke it way too far

sorry for my long ramble

GUUUUUURRRRL please don’t be sorry for your long ramble. I had similar thoughts as you but I have come to terms with it, especially when I’m the same age as NCT 127 Jungwoo things in K-pop music has become less enjoyable too. Hence, I don’t know much about newer groups or groups outside of my interests ㅠ ㅠ

You also pointed out how fans can idolise their idols and drop them the next minute when they’re “wrong”, for example going to the club, dating, and having a life basically. I think all of this is the company’s fault. Take SM for example, I’m not comfortable in the direction that RIIZE is going with the booheju (girlfriend stan) stuff, but it’s what it makes money? Because of this, I’ve slowly detaching myself from them and only like their songs and I have one particular member that I like, he is Lee Sohee. I also like him because of his singing skill and that’s all.

Overall, I agree with you. Tbh it’s the parasocial relationship that is an issue. Some fans seeks comfort from their idol and the idol gives them that. However, often they forget that an idol job stops when they’re behind the camera. They have a life too. So, I’m with you on this too. I have started to like a group for their song and less about what is trendy or their looks and personality. Girl groups wise I’m into Aespa, NewJeans and BabyMonster. Their songs are right up my alley. Now, the younger idols debuting is a problem in it of itself. But this has happened way before in Kpop. Take Taemin for example, or NCT Dream Jisung. I think the main reason is that the younger they are, the easier to “manipulate” them or influence them. I guess if a company debuts someone above 25 years old, they’re going to have a hard time dealing with them because their pre-frontal cortex has developed.

that’s my easiest bet! 🤡

I’m also not Korean so I can’t say for certain this is true. However, I’m Asian. I realise Asian people put so much emphasis on good character. Because of this, idols are seen as role models and they are constantly judged and put on a pedestal. It’s kinda sad really. So, take Seunghan for example, whether his rumours are true or not. His scandal has been a huge part of his idol career and to some, it could look like there is no going back. In terms of fan wars, I think people on the internet are just bored or mean. Most fan wars started by some troll or a fan who likes to compare other idols. I don’t know much about fan wards but this is what I noticed. I’m pretty sure if BTS gets married, it is during the time of their life where they are not at their “prime”. That way is easier for them to be accepted by their fans and the South Korean. Take, Ryewook from Super Junior. He got married recently and the fans seem fine. But ofc, we can’t exclude the obsessive fans. I’m sure idols realise they have obsessive fans. In general, I’m pretty sure idols knows their consequences and downsides to being an idol. We as fans also have full control of our interests. The only thing becoming Westernised in kpop is the song and not the culture. 🤡

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i dont know how to articulate this correctly but... sometimes i think about how saiki is so mentally disconnected and isolated from other people, and his powers make it feel impossible to understand them, esp because he hasnt had any faith in humanity since he was a kid (hes also so autistic but shh he probably doesnt know yet)

and so he truly doesnt understand the nuances and complexity of love+friendship+relationships etc... so imagine how confused he could get during times where his relationships get deeper/more complicated

examples ?? (warning for very brief sa+abuse+suicidal thoughts mention in the second one) -

accidentally making one of his friends mad and hearing their thoughts, which are purely from frustration and anger in the moment, about hating and not wanting to be around him.. makes him think they genuinely dont want to be as friend at all anymore, so ONE argument makes him think hes ruined his friendship with them forever and he doesnt think to just apologize, immediately shutting down and just "going away" instead because he thinks thats actually what they want

not understanding why people feel sympathy for him when he talks about tragic things in/about his life, especially when he even dulls it down as to not reveal his powers, (ie: his brother literally trying to murder, humiliate, and borderline sa him OR having one or multiple bullying incidents in elementary school that caused him to lose all his friends and change schools OR saying that the only reason he decidedly hasnt offed himself yet is cuz itd make his mom sad) and mentioning those things a little too casually, then thinking people are trying to pity him and telling the people who are just trying to help to shut the fuck up ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

^a specific but not quite as angsty one, offhandedly mentioning once that he had a big crush on a guy from another class but he helped set them up with someone else even though it upset him, because he just wanted to see him happy and he never had a chance anyway (bro was def straight too) and his friends being like ...hey thats really sad im sorry you felt like that :(( and him being like ?? whats sad about that. hes happy, and its not like im completely devastated or anything. shut the fuck up.

teruhashi getting over her crush on him and no longer seeking him out as often, and he's immediately upset and confused because now he thinks that she ONLY cared about him when she thought she was going to get something more than friendship from it so he doesnt believe she ever saw him as a true friend..

(similar to the first one, slightly different situation) getting into an argument with one of the friends he sees every single day and still expecting them to at least BE there the next day, and when they arent because theyre avoiding him, his first thought isnt "i should seek them out and apologize" its "wow it was so easy for them to just let go of me, i clearly have formed a dependency and feel like i need them more than they need me. especially now that i know they dont feel the same, i should sever that attachment."

SO YEAH anyway, he genuinely does not believe that he has anyone he can trust enough to actually talk through this stuff with+doesn't even think its that bad so he just sits and tries to feel numb at the bottom of the ocean or on the moon haha what a guy...

[kiwibongos]

warning for ab/se & toxic relationships. and sdr2 spoilers duh

im thinking abt the remnants of despair. cause i hate how it just seemed to be like, "theyre suddenly brainwashed and then they turn evilll and they kill because they dont feel anything" like, i hate that. it feels so underdeveloped. it cant just be despair, it has to be deeper than that, i think it'd take personal angles and link with a lot of their own trauma, leaving them really vulnerable and deranged. so heres my own interpretation and headcanons for some of them

contains mikan, nagito, fuyuhiko, peko, akane, kazuichi, and brief analysis of the rest. keep in mind i havent seen the animes yet lol so this is a basic layer of it, but i just rly wanted to let this out cus i dont see it talked about. storing my brainrot here for later moments.

first of all i feel like the brainwashing would be a very slow process bc junko would definitely just manipulate everyone in her way to get what she wants. and by the time the world was plagued basically, all the remnants clearly had really unhealthy feelings related to junko specifically. they all love her, hate her, or praise her, but its all in very different ways that would be bc of their own personal backstories

we all know how mikan and nagito feel. mikan was constantly hurt by other people before junko herself, itd make sense for her to develop a very unhealthy attachment to her. mikan was extremely vulnerable and controllable, she would do anything for anyone and especially junko, just so no one is mad at her, hence why it got so twisted to the point where she wanted to keep a part of her inside forever. she wanted to be loved so badly, she would take whatever form of it she could. thats why it was so easy for junko to get her under her boot. now nagito has an odd love-hate relationship with junko imo (his mind is so messed up man) even if he praises hope in such a grossly obsessed way, the mf still TOOK her arm. i know he did it because he hated her so much and i guess to take power back, but i feel like because nagito had never really been loved, he wanted to try and feel what it could've been like out of some kind of confused desperation and fondness for her in a way, because his mind has no idea what those feelings truly are or what they mean, as hatred and love often get mixed up in his head and form this horrible amalgamation with whoever he meets, which is clear towards the survivors in the nwp anyway

fuyuhiko put junko's own eye into his own socket, and i feel like his relationship with her while in despair would be familial and extremely unhealthy. he is definitely one of the most fucked up to me. id say by my own headcanons though its heavily implied in his fte dialogues, is his parents are very ab/usive right from the start. fuyuhiko is messed up to all hell, he was constantly struck and under pressure but he had to be strong and perfect because he was the head of his clan, hence like his insane tolerance for pain. he had to make his clan, or more importantly his parents proud, or else he was a failure forever. so he clung onto that and did his best trying to be good enough for basically anyone. and even before despair he was in a really bad stubborn, mean, depressive state, leaving him far more vulnerable and more open to violent, impulsive actions as long as junko was smart enough to get him under her finger. fuyuhiko never knew what true love felt like (platonic or not), and when junko took advantage of all of that and he slowly fell into despair, shit hit the fan. he lost morality and he had come so attached to her to the point where junko was like a mother figure to him. he wanted her to notice him and be proud basically, it was moreso the idea of someone-- anyone-- being proud of him, but junko was his main focus of that by now, given his state. to him she was like the mother he never had, who seemed to be on the same terms with everything he had believed, someone who approved of him, so he wanted to make her proud, even if it was hurting him. fuyuhiko would keep digging himself a hole of desperation and self destruction, seeking more and more pain to test his endurance because it's what she wanted, and that became what he wanted, too, because pain is all he's used to. and because of that, makotos guess was right; he wanted to see her despair. it'd make sense he'd want to take a part of her, to see horrors she had witnessed so he could understand it, so she could be proud of him and part of him forever. he felt like if he did that, he would finally succeed, he'd achieve perfection, and he did. he'd done everything junko wanted him to do, while quenching his own thirst for violence itself, all via his own delusions. that was love to him and it felt real

as for peko she was definitely also treated the same in the kuzuryu family but more dehumanized obviously, so i think she'd feel a similar way; always needing to be good enough, but more specifically protecting the ones she cares about at all costs even if it results in bloodshed. i think she'd be a lot colder, forcing to suppress her feelings since she just has to follow fuyuhiko wherever he goes, and she was pretty much as insane as him as well so anything slid. i know peko doesnt want to be a tool, but she'd definitely succumb to the fact that she has to be one when they're under despair at the same time, and if she was going to be his tool, she has to be like a robot and just do what follows, because she didn't see herself as a person, her chance of being her own human was ripped away

as for akane, she grew up very poor, and didn't live a good life at all either (w/ definitely bad parents) but she always tried her very best taking care of her siblings in the past, despite everything. i think there was a lot of twisted familial love with junko whom she started to see as a sister despite being unrelated, just because of being a caretaker all her life, its just kind of instinct to protect anyone, but that just got mixed up as she fell into despair, and she would only protect junko, while chaotically killing anyone else in her way. she'd fight for her endlessly, she was one of the strongest, at least for a while, im thinkin she found her body and wanted to preserve it as much as possible by the end of everything, she still wanted to take care of her and do everything for her even if she had been too late. and with that, and barely any food in an apocalyptic world, the inevitable happens. akane would fall into a very hurtful spiral of self hate, that her starving was a sacrifice to junko so she could prioritize her first instead of herself, while also it being like a punishment to herself for her own failures and how she was failing to preserve junko

kazuichi always hated himself. he was bullied often, didn’t have a lot of friends going into high school, and he was very desperate for attention, especially from women. he’d be very notably attached to junko which would eventually evolve into romantic feelings, similar to mikan. he craved attention and validation so much, it left him very vulnerable, and kazuichi often grows attached to people who show him a sliver of kindness anyway, so junko would likely personally manipulate him and praise him, and they’d grow close, and he’d develop a very strong attachment towards her that derails into love and lust. and once he was influenced by her under despair, he would do anything for her. so, he’d get his hands on a lot of weapons, and go on mindless killing sprees, causing havoc 24/7 just to please her and keep her memory alive through despair. and deep in his mind, he probably truly thought that junko was his soulmate, that they were destined to be together, and he was fulfilling missions just for her, and in the end, they could be together

extra stuff i guess? as anyone would expect, sonia just became a corrupted leader and took advantage of her power under despair. her kingdom would try to keep her above it, but she’d fall into it somehow anyway, and probably had already been plagued by corrupt/unjust views by junko before, so she’d lead her people to worship junko the same way she does, and anyone who stood against it would be punished severely. mahiru falls into morbid curiosity because of junko and gets worse, given what she does with her camera, also both mikan and gundham would try to stitch junko up a little, and try to keep her from falling apart as long as possible. mikan is more likely to do that for her own twisted romantic purposes, but if gundham gets a hold of her before or after mikan, he would take her blood for himself, and most likely start a cult to worship her, all for like weird satanic purposes involving rituals and stuff. he’d also encourage his members or the other remnants to indulge in certain activities for the sake of praising her. gundham would probably even believe she was some demon from the underworld who granted him powers and chose him to carry on her legacy

also teruteru was just a little hungry. boys gotta eat

[notjennyfromtheblocked]

Im deliberately sending this off anon so you can see that you arent being 'attacked' by 'Anne', and the fact youre even discussing it that way is ableist as fuck. Im going to start this by making it clear, I have BPD, Im also trans and you will not be knowing my AGAB. You are the asshole in this situation.

We're going to start off simple, you are not an expert on BPD, google and tiktok is full of misinformation and harmful stereotypes about Borderline pplo. BPD is not an 'abusive person' disorder, there is no such thing as a condition that makes you an abusive person. BPD does cause intense, deep emotions that can shift quickly and be hard to control; often this includes having intense feelings for people around them and being scared of losing them/them not being who you thought they were. Because this condition comes from trauma (usually from family/relationships) there are often amplified feelings around abanonment and betrayals of trust especially from ppl you thought were your friends. It is in fact common for some of our nost intense lifelong interests start bc of stupid reasons, but starting bc of a stupid reason doesnt mean the interest isn't genuine. Have you never done something bc your friend wanted you too and you ended it up loving it? Why is it any different bc it was a crush not a friend? BPD doesnt make you a manipulative person, nor does it make you gaslight ppl and seeing as 'anne' has a psychiatric degree Im sure he understands his condition better than you do.

Secondly, 'Anne' is allowed to be trans in whatever way he wants too, she doesnt have to bind, or pack, or change his appearance for anyone. I have a beard, long hair, wear any kind of clothes I want, have tits, have bulge, am hairy and wear a full face of makeup. Some of those things are part of my agab, some of them a part of my transition. And its not a single iota of your goddamn business whether youre friends or not. Gender is a performance and you get to choose the outfit and 'Anne' is deciding what she want his to look like.

Thirdly, you do not seem to understand that part of the reason you very clearly show yourself to be the asshole is the way you speak about others. Describing being an introvert as being more sophisticated or above extroverts is just ridiculous, you are not superior bc you dont go out to parties. I don't either, I find them uncomfortable and loud, but that doesnt make me sophisticated. You talk about 'Mike' as if he cannot be the arbiter of his own interests or relationship, that hes just stupid and couldnt piece it together if 'Anne' was 'faking'. You talk about 'Anne' like she's some master manipulator but you did everything that happened to yourself, you went to the GC and convinced them that something was wrong, you took a group of ppl who didnt know 'Mike' to 'Anne's' house to confront him, you made a callout post about 'Anne' on facebook, you tried to immediately go running to 'Mike' for damage control when your 'intervention' didnt work and you are the person that blasted it all over facebook and now tumblr. And now you are the one losing friends and family, and you deserve it, because the ppl you convinced to attack 'Anne' realised wtf they'd just done and how fucking horrendous that is. You have no evidence of any manipulation, or that 'Anne' is faking, or that 'Mike' isnt happy, you just presented your prejudice. 'Mike' and 'Anne' realise what youve done and they have enough proof to convince a judge or they wouldnt have gotten that restraining order. You are the person behaving manipulative here and everyone can see it except you.

I've tried writing a response to this so many times but I end up deleting it because when I try to explain myself it just sounds like I'm going in circles. There are tons of other asks I've tried answering and rewritten like seven times each before giving up. I've been writing over and over trying to explain like how while yeah technically Mike never told me word for word that he was T4T, when he told me I wasn't his type and then like two days later came out as trans it felt very, very much like he was coming out specifically to let me know that's why I wasn't his type. Or how I was trying to explain how look I know it might be controversial but the constant "main character syndrome" of extroverts just gets on my nerves and is supremely selfish in general and also the truth is you're just GOING to be more intellectual if you spend your free time actually expanding your mind instead of smoking pot and grinding against strangers and how someone like Mike who prefers the same free time activities as I do is just not going to work with someone who would rather party and get wasted than pick up a book, or how Anne is pretending to be trans and I know this because she isn't changing ANYTHING, and I was going to explain that the group chat was full of people she didn't know because it initially was a fandom ship discord from a show she doesn't watch but eventually when I started getting concerned yes it kinda became my "complain about Anne" vent place because nobody there really knew her well enough to go tell her what I was saying and it was a safe place for me to vent and explain why I thought she was abusive and cheating and they would actually listen instead of tell me to knock it off like others, and obviously OBVIOUSLY I thought her and I were close enough as friends she wouldn't mind me using her spare key which she kept under the doormat so it's not like I searched hard. I've written all of that so many times to so many different asks I can't even count and then i just end up deleting it because it feels pointless to even try because I know people will just keep sending asks so why bother so I never wrote it til just now unless I deleted it.

Im gonna be totally fully honest here I woke up and I saw the 99+ notifications in my inbox and I haven't been able to stop shaking because I'm so fucking angry because nobody is on my side, I literally scrolled hoping to find at least one person who was agreeing with me and nobody was and honestly I was so mad I couldn't even see and then I finally found a couple of nice asks and they were signed and I was so excited someone finally agreed with me and when I checked on their blogs they were all fucking terfs. All of the people who were taking my side were fucking terfs. And like I'll be honest with you I have two very close family members who are trans and honestly they've both blocked me recently and even though I tried to contact them they didn't respond and I seriously hate hate HATE terfs because they've been so cruel to my two family members. And I'm so angry. But then I found your ask and at first I was so angry and I tried to reply but I just deleted it because I was getting angry. But then I found more terfs in my ask and then even more hateful anons from non terfs.

But then I kept thinking about how conservatives will literally LITERALLY have Nazis agreeing with them and dig their hills in and in like wtaf how are you not seeing that NAZIS are agreeing with you? But literally the only people agreeing with me are terfs. And honestly that's the last shit I want, I luterally hate terfs. I'm not even exaggerating when I say this is the nicest ask that WASN'T from a terf so I've just. I dunno. I am freaking out because this did not go the way I planned. I knew some people wouldn't agree with me but I thought it would be more split, like some YTA but mostly JAH and NTA. And then when I saw the poll for a hot minute I thought maybe it might veer ESH but obviously that isn't the case. It's just like have you ever really cares about someone, really really cared about someone, and he says oh please don't hug me and pulls away, and then other people hug him so you think I better tell these other people "don't hug him, he doesn't like hugs" and then he says its fine and then starts hugging other people but not you? And you realize at no point did he ever say he didn't like hugging, he just asked you, specifically you, not to hug him? Well imagine that but with Mike, and he stopped wanting to hang out with me and told me not to touch him but whenever I'd remind Anne not to touch him he'd say it was fine and I guess when he came out as trans it was just easier to believe he didn't date cis people than he didn't want to date me. And there were times I thought man I wish I were a trans person so Mike would notice me, and then it seemed like Anne was doing just that because of COURSE it crossed my mind to pretend just for a little while, because if he just gave me a chance he'd realize that we are compatible. Honestly I'm just freaking out because I made this blog a month ago after sent the ask to the aita blog but then it didn't get answered so I started the blog to get all this off my chest. And bam suddenly I was bombarded a month later and it took me a minute to realize the aita hadn't deleted it. Honestly none of this went according to plan and nobody except people I fucking hate want to hear my side. And I dunno. I just don't know. Bur if the only people agreeing me with me all day are terfs then obviously I need to think things through.

[the-jesus-pill]

i was never religious, but i find myself struggling with obsessive feelings of guilt anyway. this is an issue i know is common among people raised christian, especially catholics, so i was wondering if you might have any resources to help unlearn that kind of thing!

It's really sad how guilt is such a common thing. I think everyone has it, religious or not and it's a problem that lies deep in society. You're right, a lot of it is due to religion and in many, many cultures, religion shape society as well.

Obsessive guilt, especially when it's without cause, can often stem from anxiety. We're taught that feeling guilty is supposed to teach us something, to show us where we fucked up and that can make the anxiety worse because if we're feeling guilty then we must've done something, right?

But a good practice when you're feeling overwhelmed is asking yourself, who is this helping?

Is it motivating you to fix anything? Or is it crippling you? Does anyone benefit from you feeling guilty right now? Usually the answer is no. You are not making the world a better place by feeling like shit.

And you can tell yourself its okay to let go of these feelings or ignore them. They're not helpful, they're not protecting you and you have permission to distract yourself until they go away. Nothing bad will happen when you do.

Even if you're feeling guilty over things you DID do, something that happened a long time ago or something you already apologized/made up for. It's in the past and it's likely the other person has already moved on and/or forgiven you. Again, not useful guilt, it's only hurting you and you can move on with your life.

Anxious thoughts are often like intrusive thoughts, they get stuck and the more attention you give them the stronger they can get.

Here's what has helped me

Saying out loud "stop" or "I'm not going to be thinking about that" when I start to spiral. It takes the situation out of your head. Same with a clap or a snap or just a loud exhale. Bring yourself back into your body, aka ground yourself when you feel like you're spiraling into an anxiety or guilt fueled episode.

Talking it out with myself. Why do I feel guilty? Is this reasonable? Can I fix anything? What do I expect myself to do? Am I trying to punish myself? Who is this helping?

Distracting myself. I recommend media that will actively engage you instead of media that you put on for background noise.

Standing up for yourself. Tell yourself you're trying your best and you need to get off your case about it. Tell your guilt to stop being an asshole, like what does it want you to do? You're human and you can't do everything right.

Journaling - a cliché but hear me out. When you have obsessive thoughts, it helps to get them out of your head and put them somewhere else. This is why people recommend talking to friends or a therapist, for example. But that's not always possible so you can take a pen and you dont have to do anything fancy. You dont have to make it pretty, you can just write, "I'm feeling guilty/I can't stop thinking about x/I have these thoughts and they make me feel x" and then close the journal and do something else.

You are not morally obligated to feel guilty for the rest of your life and it will not make the world a better place or you a better person. You can just let it go.

It's easier said than done but with practice it really works.

I hope some of this advice helped you! Good luck! You deserve to have a happy and carefree life and it IS possible! You're strong enough to unlearn what hurts you.

[gandalfsbignaturals]

That post about tme/tma was pretty funny to read as I have as a trans man experienced trans misogyny multiple times. I have a man’s name and dress in men’s clothes and multiple times people have thought I am a trans woman who I guess is mid social transition or smth? Idk man its weird. I think its valuable to talk about different experiences with transphobia within the trans/lgbt community and outside of it but i guess its easy to forget how varied the trans experience can be. Also why is there no term for the transphobia fuelled misogyny trans men face? As a trans man i feel like i can’t escape misogyny even from people who accent me as a man. Misogyny is also often the first punishment and slap in the face against me by transphobes. They rarely say anything about me being trans but just talking sexist shit?

see, thats another thing about transmisogyny that i think a lot of people forget. its not separate from misogyny and transphobia, it is the intersection of those two. so, if someone is both transphobic and misogynist, anybody who they think looks trans and they think looks like a woman is a potential target.

this actually includes, like, a lot of trans men, because 99% of these bigots dont actually care to learn a single thing about trans people. they often literally do not know enough about trans-ness to tell the difference between a trans man and a trans woman. they see someone who looks like theyre doing gender wrong, and they floor it, and anyone who doesnt conform enough can be caught in the crossfire.

additionally, trans men dont get to opt out of misogyny when they start transitioning. many trans men struggle to pass as men, because gender is a tricky thing. and if you dont pass as a man, or if you dont have your legal name changed, or if you dont have your gender marker changed, then anybody could still decide that youre a woman and treat you accordingly. trans men experience misogyny just as much as trans women do, and because they are also trans, they often fall victim to the same structures that cause transmisogyny.

trans men have actually tried a few times to coin words to describe these unique intersectional experiences, similar to the reason transmisogyny was coined, but everytime they have faced pushback from the community, and especially from trans women. transmisandry and transandrophobia are both words that trans men have tried to coin to describe their experiences, and theyve been so thoroughly ridiculed for it that ive seen trans women go around calling people "transandrophobia truthers." these words that trans men have tried to define for themselves have become jokes in the mouths of those who should be their allies.

this is another reason why i am so against tme/tma as labels. if we exclude trans men from being able to be victims of transmisogyny, but we also deny them the words they need to talk about their own unique intersectional experiences of oppression, then we are essentially saying we dont care about those experiences. we are silencing them the same way we have been silenced for years.

thats why im so gungho about trans unity. yes, our experiences are different, but the structures and the people oppressing us are the same. we are not enemies, and if we paint each other as enemies, if we try to silence each other, if we continue to squabble amongst ourselves and focus on what divides us instead of what brings us together...

we are doing the fascists' work for them, and our communities will crumble to dust.

i dont want to live in a world where im enemies with my trans masc brothers. i dont want to live in a world where finding common ground between us is seen as wrong. we have to stick together if we want to survive, but moreover, we have to stick together if we want to thrive. trans men, trans women, and every other flavor of trans people under the sun all enrich the queer experience. it is a beautiful, profound thing to reject ones nature and find belonging with the othered. to sully that beauty with the blood of our allies is to invite the end.

[daybringersol]

if asexuality or aversion to sex comes from trauma, that is absolutely something a therapist and you are supposed to address, that's not queerphobia and equating it to conversion therapy is kinda disgusting and queerphobic itself lmao

That is not what I said in the slightest, to a point where im questioning if youre asking me this in good faith at all. Please actually read and/or reread the words I typed before accusing me of things like this. My initial post was not even worded in a way that was vague enough to be misinterpreted this way.

If you still don’t understand how misguided you are, here is my attempt at putting it more clearly :

Yes, aversion to sex and/or romance and lack of sexual/romantic desires can come from trauma. Therapy can help that, if you find the right therapist. However, from my own experiences, I can tell you that the way a lot of therapists approach this is at best, ineffective, and at worst, downright retraumatizing. If sex and/or romance makes you uncomfortable, being convinced to take part in sexual/romantic acts without you having desires for it or being downright averse to it is a recipe for disaster (for most people). It just puts you into more non-consensual and traumatizing positions. That is what exposure therapy is, and that is what most therapists have tried (and sometimes succeeded) to do to me. Horrible experience, would not recommend to anyone. This approach tries to cure the symptom instead of the issue, and is deeply based in ace/arophobia (seeing “fixing” a lack of attraction as more urgent and important than addressing the source of the issue, the actual trauma).

Also, no. If someone doesn’t feel like fixing their trauma for any reason, nobody should push them to. A therapist can absolutely inform the patient on the benefits of doing so, but trauma work is incredibly hard, very much a long-term thing, and can put the patient in an extremely vulnerable headspace. It’s the mental equivalent of breaking a bone to set it right again. For an abuse victim who just got out of that situation, it is completely understandable for them to want to enjoy their new-found freedom and joy as much as they can, for as long as they want. Pushing them towards trauma work without the right environment, mindset or literally anything else they feel might make this not the right time for it can cause further damage, especially knowing how the current psychiatric institution works.

Asexuality and aromanticism, however, do not come from trauma, or any other neurological differences. It might be affected by it, and people with life experiences similar to aro and/or ace people are welcomed in the community (for exemple, sexual and/or domestic abuse survivors that are sex/romance averse), but it is not caused by it. Most therapy settings are not informed about asexuality, and assume it is a symptom of a underlying issue, that needs to be fixed. The same kind of exposure therapy that I talked about earlier is often used to “cure” aro and/or ace people, putting them those same non-consensual and traumatizing situations. That is conversion therapy, and medical use of coerced corrective rape. These therapists are, often with methods similar to gaslighting (and I use the original meaning of the word here, not the diluted tiktok version of it), convincing people to do sexual and/or romantic acts that they have no desire to do, to fix an issue that doesn’t exist, with the explicit goal of making someone not queer. Please explain to me how that is not conversion therapy.

Other forms of arophobia and acephobia are prevalent in psychiatric institutions as they are today, tho I wouldn’t call most of those conversion therapy. You only need to look at the notes on my post to see what I’m talking about.

I genuinely hope that this is a formative experience for you, and that in the future, you learn to actually read what is written before you send messages like this. Have a good day.

[youredreamingofroo]

a bit of a message talking about inactivity and my possible hiatus. I dont know if this counts as a cw but i talk about depression here and there at the beginning (nothing graphic) and as usual, its a rant

im gonna be straight honest rn, i'm probably not gonna be active on tumblr for these next few days, ive been super up and down depressed and im just unmotivated and too tired to do anything, im still gonna check in here and there but dont expect me to reblog or reply to many posts, if at all. This could mark the beginning of a hiatus, but with mood swings and up and down depression, i could be back, active as ever tomorrow. Ever since ive uninstalled Sims 4, i did feel a weight lift off my shoulders, but simultaneously made me depressed due to the lack of... well... doing something, i dont... really know how to put it into words, its just something in my brain that i just cant explain, i guess a good way to put it is playing sims 4 gave me the motivation to stem off into other mediums, blender for example, gave me something to do, something to learn, and while i can still use blender, i just get progressively slower and slower at doing stuff in it because of my limited resources, some scenes i want to do require specific outfits and i dont have the facilities to make those outfits... i mean i probably do but i just dont feel motivated to do all that. I still play other games, ive been playing a lot of slime rancher 2 and have been trying to branch out to other games (indie games and bigger games), I want to post gameplay but if youve seen me rant about tumblr before, one of my biggest gripes is just how fucking annoying it is to upload images, so i just get completely unmotivated to post images/gameplay especially if its just some silly post. if uh if anyone is still reading this, ill be honest, i havent even been motivated to write about WAS at all, probably havent touched the planning doc in about 2 weeks. This... 'spiral'... has been noticeable for me for the last week as my sleep schedule gets swapped around from sleeping at night and awake during the day... to sleeping during the day and awake at night, this is all my fault, but its also just something that happens rotationally for me, i go from sleeping VERY early in the evening (6PM at the earliest) and waking at VERY early times in the morning (4AM at the latest) to sleeping VERY late in the morning (6AM at the earliest) and waking up late in the evening (3PM at the latest), i dont really know what causes the shift, but it happens, and i often blame myself for it even though i dont know what causes it...

anyways sorry, this will probably mark a very iffy hiatus, like i said ill be active but not... super active, i didnt check tumblr at all yesterday/monday, so thats kind of the pattern to expect from me depending on the day. In the meantime... i might try to get back into older sims games, ive mentioned this before, but i do have sims 1 on my laptop so maybe ill post stupid little gameplay posts from there (granted i havent played in like... a month 😐). I'll probably put up a poll after this post for people to vote on which sims game i should play- i KNOW i did it once before but im probably gonna do it again cuz i cant find the post and i have over 1000 posts 😭

if you read thus far, thank you for sticking around, if your a random person who read this for no reason... thanks? if your a follower of mine and cant understand where im coming from with this lengthy post, see yourself out or deal with it 🙃 otherwise, thank you all and i will be lurking about

[smiggles]

This is gonna be abit of a mouthful, but I need to get it off my chest now that years have passed and we've (hopefully you have too) matured by now.

I once looked up to you, but that was a very long time ago. The trauma you caused me is irreversible. tbf I used to be a brat and if I could go back in time to backhand my younger self I would, I own up to that. But I was only a teenager, still growing and learning about myself and how to talk to others properly. Turns out I was pretty much autistic, so communication wasn't my strong point at all back then.

But even then, your two-faced behavior of proudly shitting on and bragging about how much money you were ripping off the furry community, the people who actively supported you, loved your work and paid your bills, was appalling. I had every right to call you out on it. Instead of accepting it was wrong, you sent your roommates out like attack dogs to fight your battles, defend your toxic behavior and harass me. Every time I blocked them they would find a different site to attack me on. I struggled to make friends for years after that incident, I felt I couldn't trust anyone because of what you guys did.

Years passed, and I genuinely hoped you had changed for the better, only to see a callout post during pride of all times, about your grossly acephobic attitude. I had friends who were blocked by you and didn't understand why. You need to understand your damaging actions have severe affects on real people, and when you make public apologies, the people who comment saying they forgive you don't count if they weren't the ones hurt by you. They don't speak for those affected.

I'm not looking for an apology, even if given one I probably wouldn't accept it after all the damage you've done to me. I have zero interest in you being in my life again. I just wanted to give you this perspective to get it off my chest and for you to mull on, I want you to use it to improve yourself as a person moving forward. See the wrong in your actions, how badly it affects others, and make the choice to make things right.

But that's up to you now.

Hey, I know who this is an I want you to know that I think about you often.

Read more below

Sometimes your stuff shows up on my feed or someone shares something with me that youve made because we have common interests and I think to myself Im glad theyre doing well and I hope youre surrounded by people who support you. I dont say this as a way to like Save face because this is a public anon. I would say this to you in private if I could. I was a very nasty person years and years ago and no apology will take back the pain Ive caused others from that. Especially not you. But I am sorry. I wish things could have been different. I do. For the acephobia. Yes. I was acephobic and horrible about it. I hurt a lot of people from that and cant ever take that back but know that Ive learned a lot about how to treat others and unpack the internalized hatred towards my own ace'ness and how others present themselves. I also want to say I never sent my roommates on you. That was a choice they did on their own without my knowledge. I never ever want someone to go after anyone on my behalf and while it is likely hard to believe that those who have known me these past 5-6 years can vouch that as true. I have on multiple occasions asked my friends to leave people alone I end up disagreeing with. I never name drop people I dont get along with. I dont even tell people besides my very very private close friends about what happened between me and you and that might be about 3 or 4 people at most. As for blocking? I block very liberally LOL and its almost never personal. I block people for the smallest things just to curate my social media experience. If you ever wanted to reconnect and try again Im here. And I have no hatred in my heart. I have held myself accountable all these years for things I should have done better. Handled softer. In the end Truly. Im glad youve made a beautiful career out of something you love and no matter what happens between us I hope you continue to thrive. With all my heart.

[crguang]

ok honestly im kinda done w genshin atp, like the story is okay, the whitewashing tho is pissing me off tho, um idk, i like the game play, and also i gotta get to sneznaya or wtv when that comes out. and did u just not like the sumeru characters bc more of them are men.../j i still dont have yelan or arle very sad...they're like top 10 genshin characters for me, i was too broke to pull for them when they were running

ALSO that's not what i meant abt natasha, like as a character shes good and i like her, and her story is good, i dont dislike her, what i meant is that i cant be attracted to her, like idk...bc all the stuff u listed i should like her, so like idk. i dont skip story, i did her sq, so maybe it is just the fact that shes a doctor, like that was how she was presented at first and i just cant look past it ok... my mom was a doctor so i just cant...my mommy issues strike again, and i just dont rlly like doctors in general havent had good experiences w them before, so i cant be attracted to one...idk, like ik shes like way more than that. and i did get a few adds for her so its prob that as well that kind messed with my perception of her at the beginning, the only hsr adds i every got continously was kafkas trailer.

tbh i shouldve realized i liked women when i saw kafka dragging her fingers across a wall wish i was that wall with like her voice in the background and that was what made me decide to play the game. they know what they're doing...

speaking of which i got her other two messages, shes ridiculous, like i cant believe she can just go to a movie theater like that, and her checking up on you...i did scream. shes pathetic... honestly her being into phycological thrillers makes sm sense, so she was def seeing one of those. and i think shes exposing herself bc of both of the reasons you listed (also like it being on a burner acc incase she gets rejected...i obviously wasnt mean to her tho).

honestly im just shy sat okay...thats why im an anon, but it is funny, since we're all reading ur smut, and thirsting over everyone together.

i did sleep i promise, i dont really like taking medicine, again doctor stuff, but i'll been taking some melatonin bc last night it took be 3 and a half hours to sleep and ive been drinking tea and stuff, but ill be going to sleep after this. wish me luck.

-🌠

i also wanted to last until snezhnaya like i remember a few years ago when the first fatui trailer dropped after inazuma and my entire timeline went crazyyyy, people who didn’t play the game anymore got back into it just for the fatui like they really united everyone… but since the characters and stories dont do anything for me now i personally never feel like playing. and yes i actually was so bored with sumeru because im not interested in men at all dhfjgkgk but also the whitewashing there pissed me off and how they nerfed dehya and made her a horrible standard character was so annoying like i didnt pull for a single sumeru character 😭 arle/yelan is an insane duo, my yelan is great cause shes been my main for years so she doesn’t need anyone but adding arle is just cheating fr. look at my favs beefing (clorinde was there for the friendship points😪)

i thought you disliked nat because you said your friend thought you disliked her bc she was a doctor, but it makes sense if you’ve had bad experiences with healthcare professionals and are reminded of them when you see doctors. personally i love when people who work in healthcare actually care about the patients they have because it’s quite literally life saving and sooo many of them dont give a fuck, that’s why i adore natasha a lot. it’s totally fine if you’re not attracted to her, you don’t have to be!

kafka’s trailer changed my brain chemistry and i can recite it by heart from how often ive watched it. they definitely knew what they were doing especially with these shots like can i please be that guy… i’ll take the bullet too idgaf. AND YES THE MOVIE THEATER SHES SUCH A LOSERRR, THE “my life is an action movie btw lol haha” when the tb says they like action films is so ridiculous. i need to look up her other answers but when she said the action movies lacked immersion i pat myself on the back for writing that she likes psychological thrillers over horror or any other genre like i know her for real… im literally inside her head.

im glad youre sleeping even if it takes a little while!! hopefully your internal clock stops messing woth you and allows you to get some good rest

[storiesofsvu]

Hi! CM anon here. It's been a while since my last message, but I'm back. I'm now in season 8 (I'll be watching the season finale tonight). These past seasons had been quite a journey, the Lauren episode destroyed me, and Garcia's voicemail broke my heart.

I knew that season 8 would be an uphill struggle for me without Prentiss, but I enjoyed it more than I expected, especially with the replicator storyline.

Now, I've seen a lot of ships in the fandom, like everyone with anyone. Since I'm pretty much new in the fandom, I wanted to give it a chance to most of them and I think I have a few favorites already. But I wonder, which ones are yours?

oh hiii!!!!

glad you're back!

omg, the lauren arc is literally what i'll watch when i'm in the mood for cm but also in the mood to cry LOL.

season 8/9 get a lot of flack from people because there is no emily, and i totally understand that. HOWEVER, you get Alex Blake, which is an extremely good addition (i only wish we got to actually see her and emily like, solve a full case together or share time on the team cause that would be incredible). I also found s 8/9 to have a lot of good storylines and episodes. I think they're likely the seasons i've watched the most on repeat since watching cm. If Alex wasn't your cup of tea at first i also find that she grows on you, she's just so soft. i love her so much.

the replicator storyline is so good! i love those eps!!

oooo fun!!

TBH, i don't heavily ship anyone from the show. LOL, i know that's weird, but hear me out, i'll go through the big ones here:

Jemily: incredible potential when it comes to the early seasons, they have this chemistry and unspoken bits that scream more than friends (it's very similar to Cabenson imo, if you're an svu fan). Even like, s6/7 there are still moments of pining, but once they made the choice to write in AJ's pregnancy and have JJ settle down with Will, they ended Jemily. (and dont get me started on the s17/18/evolution jemily cause i literally have to log off twitter over how batshit the fandom is going rn).

I like them, i see the appeal. if Paget hadn't been leaving at the end of s7 and they had gone through and killed Will like they planned (and cbs weren't cowards) i could have seen the natural progression for Jemily to start then (slowly and over the years lol) but otherwise, it's a no for me (CANON) (i do still enjoy it in fics, even if i don't particularly read straight up jemily. if that makes sense).

Hotchniss: i completely and totally understand the appeal and why people ship them, but i simply cannot get behind them. Like, i want them both to run me over but ONLY ever individually. people often are all "but you write hotch and you write emily, why not a hotchniss threesome?" and i simply cannot answer that. I get the bestie, watching out for each other, willing to die on their sword for the other to protect them/their family, supporting each other vibes, and platonic love but i cannot see past that. Part of it is the shitty background writing for characters on this show and Emily's background/history not making a single lick of sense cause he apparently worked for her mother, sometimes its said he knew em when she was a teenager and he was an adult and that makes things super weird. but yeah... i get it, but its not my cup of tea. ESP in fandom when people write them married and dilute emily down to being this shell of a woman who is just a wife/mother and needs his support and protection to survive. like.. what... lol

Morcia: LOVE THEM. i absolutely love the vibe they give and i do think that they were always meant to be best friends. I love the teasing, the flirting with no harm, how much they truly love each other and protect each other.

Willifer: i swap back and fourth a lot on these two. I didn't see any huge issues then i rewatched the earlier stuff. 1: the writers threw them together so fast (again, because of aj's pregnancy) and the first time i didn't even remember him from his original ep by the time he showed up again. My second watch, it was the way he outed her for being pregnant and turning down his proposal in front of the entire team and said she shouldn't be out in the field that made me want to kill him. overall we see them making a happy family together so, in the long run, whatever, but that moment really gave me the ick.

I know you're not there yet, but:

Temily: basically the only ship that i REALLY like. they've got these little moments, tara is someone who comes into em's life later and isn't fully knowledgeable about emily's past, it becomes emily's choice when to reveal those little things, ya know? And i think that would make emily that much more comfortable and confident around her. i *personally* also think that this would be a much more logical step (as of the end of s16 at least lol) in canon than jemily but that's all i'll say to not spoil shit lol.

It's also not really a big ship, or much of one, but you cannot deny JJ/Alex had chemistry over their time together. If we completely ignore Will during those years, it's totally feasible they had a little fling. LOL.

SO.... yeah... i like the little undertones of a lot of ships while watching the show, i wish some of them had been developed a little bit more, like just give us crumbs pls. Others i absolutely despise. Others i have literally zero opinions on. It also very much can and does differ between canon and fanon.

have a great day!! <3

[immersilly]

摸門釘 [Ena Sekiro Lore]

Please do NOT heavily reference your own works using mine :)!

Tbhk oc lore made by me, i might alter it again idk. enjoy i guess, i dont know why anyone would want to read this lol

background/ lore information for Ena Sekiro and 'The Mother of Supernaturals' Suzuna

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Background info-

Birth place: Kokuren village/clan

• Village that follows 'olden ways' and did not modernize with society

• In far mountains

Old folk lore speaks of a demon who had plagued their village for centuries, consuming and devouring its people, people could not leave the town, out of fear. One day an "angel" falls from the heavens to Kokuren village the angel and the demon fight and in the end, both die

• Their fight leads to the growth of black lotus flowers.

• Rumor has it that one day a child of sin would be born and the demon would reincarnate from that child and ruin the village once more

• The angel would be worshiped like a deity

• While the village no longer was isolated/ unable to explore, it was still taboo to leave or explore the world

• Had connections to surrounding clans including Minamoto clan

• Black lotus would be experimented and used for rituals or spiritual/religious things relating to the angel and the demon

Black lotus info:

• They cannot be grown artificially; they only grow in the village, how they keep spreading is unknown

• Only grow naturally around the village, grow in big cluster where it was assumed the demon and angel had died together

• The flowers seem to live forever, or a really long time

• The black lotus is extremely poisonous, simply touching it can cause irritation to the skin. Consuming it could altogether just kill a person. But mainly dulls/ weakens consumer's senses

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Family background-

-(Ena's Mom)

A married woman and her husband live together in Kokuren village.

        • The wife happens to study the black lotus. Also happened to often assist the uses of black lotus in         rituals etc.

        • Considered important woman who is respected by others

        • One day she meets an injured fangxiangshi (chinese excorsist)

        • He is a wanderer who does as he pleases, originally going to Japan to meet with a Japanese excorsist         (assumed to be head of minamoto clan) but gets into a complication with a apparition and ends up         dragged near the village

        • He's a womanizer 💀 very bad.

        • She is cautious if him since he's an outsider, but she helps him none the less.

        • The two end up having an affair and he ends up leaving

-(Ena's Dad)

A fangxiangshi of an honorable family who decided to travel the world for a sense of freedom, leaving all his responsibilities behind.

        •despite his layed back, womanizing behavior, he is still in fact a powerful exorcist

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Backstory: 

When Hiromu was born, he looked exactly like his father, the same brown hair and greyish purple eyes, traits neither his mother or his mother's husband had.  With Kokuren's traditional customs, the idea of affairs were frowned upon, especially from someone with her reputation as scientist (studying the black lotus).

To save face, his mother claims that the rumors of the reincarnation of the demon are true and she is a victim of it all. 

Hiromu is promptly caged and isolated from other children and citizens as a whole. His mother take the position of 'studying' him since she studied the black lotus. For the first few years of Hiromu's life his mother would briefly care for him whenever it was necessary and spend the rest of her time with her black lotus study. The whole reincarnation ploy was a ruse of course-

It would not stay that way. There was of course suspicion from other villagers that the baby was actually the result of an affair, but those rumors were originally rare due to Hiromu's mother's position, there was no reason for her to lie. Seeing how she was willing to spare the child and study it instead of immediately killing it made people suspicious. 

Hiromu's mother tried her hardest to refute these rumors the harsher and more popular this rumor of her affair got. She cared deeply for her position and her reputation. If she was shamed and found out what she did she would no longer be allowed her job of studying lotus along with the tarnished reputation. She would become so committed to denying the affair claims she started to genuinely believing she didn't have an affair. 

Eventually a psychic would be hired to examine Hiromu when he turned 5. By then he was locked up in an isolated shed. The Psychic confirms that there is something wrong with his energy. She says there is a dark spiritual energy that emanates from him that would be difficult for low level exorcists to expel or even sense. After her vision, she take her money for the job and leaves. 

With this now confirmed Hiromu's mother, who already begun believing her own delusions full on believed it was not her fault at all. Her son was cursed by the legend of a demon and she was the poor victim. 

Soon after she left, sightings of supernatural creatures and occurrences begun on the rise. Hiromu's 'awakening demon presence' was to blame according to the villagers. 

Little did the village know, the psychic was a fraud/scammer who only spoke what would benefit her. She assumed eventually she would be called back to exorcize the child herself after her claim that weaklings couldn't sense the dark aura and planting a supernatural charm on him to attract supernatural to him, causing more of a stir. Her hopes of being called back for another job for the village failed. 

With the confirmation that Hiromu is in fact the incarnate of the demon who destroyed their village that chief takes matters into his own hands. Hiromu's identity is announced to the whole village (reminder he is still just a child). Instead of immediately killing him, they use his body as a sacrifice/tool for their rituals, giving to the angel who protecting them centuries ago. 

(WARNING FOR THIS PARAGRAPH ONLY: SLIGHTLY GRAPH/GOREY/ HONESTLY JUST TORTURE)

Hiromu had his canines' shaves flat and nails partially removed in order 'to disarm the demon' he was to be locked away and only let out when he was needed in a ceremony, ritual or any event giving to the angel. He was forced to drink a liquid made of the black lotus his mother was in charge of studying daily. While not shown, Hiromu would describe the ceremonies and rituals as painful ripping and tearing apart of his limbs into the bleeding was no more. The Black lotus liquid itself tasting detestable, it pained his organs and every movement, but the pain overtook any other feeling. 

Other than the ceremonies, early on, while he was more able bodied, he would attempt to escape many times. All attempts would fail and end with him being dragged back to where he started. When he was locked up he would spend his time counting, the only thing he really knew how to do. 

Eventually a woman in the village had enough of the treatment of the child and attempted to help him escape. Letting him out of his cell, she ran with him into the forest, hoping to find a way out, somewhere he would be safe from the hell he knew as home-. She would fail and die, being slaughtered by an apparition attracted to the charm tagged to Hiromu himself. Hiromu on the other hand would survive. After watching the woman be eaten, he would be saved by a Minamoto child, Teru Minamoto. 

Taken back home, nothing would come of this interaction. Teru's visits would increase with the number of apparitions. Kokuren would be used as a sort of warming up training ground with the increased amount of apparitions it summoned. The chief would not inform Teru nor his instructor of the 'demon' and the villagers were ordered not to say a word. (Minamoto clan would eventually stop their training visits and offer talisman that would protect the village. without knowledge of the shed, it would not be protected) 

Hiromu's attempts to escape would come to a stop after the woman's death. 

(back to not able bodied Hiromu WARNING: THIS PARAGRAPH IS AGAIN, A LITTLE UNSETTLING)

One day after a ceremony left him in severe condition he would be left lying on the ground in his shed. The effect of every ceremony, ritual, event had worsened his body to a nauseating degree. Parts of his skin were left with dark purple coloration from all the black lotus he had drank, he no longer could taste, or feel anything but that concoction and pain, his sight was degrading and overall might as well have been dead and decomposing. 

After news of a strange energy drawing supernaturals in from the area became known. Suzuna would leave the school and investigate on her own. It would not hurt to try, testing her limit as a lone floating voice would not be bad. If she wanted to gain any strength or resilience she had to start from somewhere. Upon making it to the village after a long walk, she would focus her attention on a shed. A very peculiar shed. Upon investigating she would find a boy. A scrawny, injured, out of place, unsettling to look at boy, but a normal boy in the end. What took her attention was not his horrible state or condition, not even the building. It was his face. He looked strikingly similar to a child she once loved and cared for dearly. 

Horimu is offered help from a mysterious voice coming from a woman. She gives him the choice of rotting away like a corpse, or following her as her assistant. In his eyes she is his savior, the one who will be able to save him. He is desperate for the pain and numbness to end. When he accepts, she 'puts him back together' and helps him escape. 

"you will needs me and me alone, no one else with harm you this way again as long as you obey my every orders. No one else will save you, child" 

From that day forward the rise of supernaturals around Kokuren with cease. 

Suzuna renames Horimu, Ena, after the first child she favored. WHile unable to remove the purple marks on his body or his taste, she was able to remove a majority of his fatigue and physical injuries, she cures his eyesight and makes him able bodied once more.   

Ena would stubble his way out of the forest before passing out. unable to carrying him or anything as only a voice, she could only watch over him. 

A girl passing by on her walk home is alarmed, seeing the passed out boy just laying in the dirt. She picks him up and takes him home. From there she nurses him back to full health. Ena, who cannot speak, read or write, learns most of his academics from the girl. She takes care of him out of worry, he doesn't look from around the city in his attire, and he couldn't even speak to her properly to begin with. Ena is untrusting of her and starts off uncomfortable and cold to her (he literally cannot communicate with her). As time goes on, he begins warming up to her, Suzuna on the other hand urges him to leave. Ena is wary of leaving though, finding comfort in the girl who he was under the care of. This would end poorly, with Suzuna luring a supernatural to her home effectively killing her and her family.  Suzuna blames Ena for the girl's death and urges him to follow orders better or more will die. 

Suzuna guides him back to Kamome Academy, where her real form is able to reside...

currently Ena is Suzuna's asistant; he works to care adn protect the apparitions of Kamome academy in Suzuna's place

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Suzuna lore:

"Despite not being an official School Wonder, Suzuna (鈴奈) [known as Lady Suzu or Suzu, or 'The Mother of Supernaturals'] has the respect of most supernatural and other wonders of the school. It's thought that she has been residing here for a long time. She is unofficially titled "Wonder number 0" Suzu sometimes speaks of a time where she once had a body (she's a disembodied voice currently, she is only able to form a false body for herself in a certain small part of the school). No one is sure how it happened, but rumor has it, god had taken away her body as divine punishment."

backstory-

Suzuna was once a well loved priestess of a shrine (that would later be built over and turned into Kamome Academy). She often watched over the children who visited and aided the elderly. Anyone in her care was surely to feel better. She wore a warm smile and she was always covered or had cherry blossom petals on her uniform and in her hair. She remembered everyone who visited and was sure to greet them is she ever saw them. She acted as a caring warming mother to everyone. She seemed to be an untouchable flawless being who blessed any who came into contact with her. Her favorite was a little girl named Ena who frequently visited her, giving her trinkets and gifts whenever she visited. She treated her Ena as if she were her own daughter. She would give the world for her. They would talk for hours about whatever Ena wanted. 

That is until Ena started drifting away from her one day, she begun to visit less frequently and speak with Suzuna much less. Unknown to Suzuna, Ena was Planning a surprise party for Suzuna's birthday. The thought of losing Ena drove Suzuna mad, during one of Ena's visits leading up to Suzuna's birthday, Suzuna would kill Ena in a fit of frustration. This would quickly be found out by the community and Suzuna would be turned against. She would be dragged out of the shrine she spent her whole life in and burned alive by her favorite cherry blossom tree. 

From this day forward she curses god for the cruel punishment he placed on her for her actions. She hopes for a day where she will be able to enact revenge. 

[f0point5]

I need some advice because I seriously have no idea what to do right now. Okay so I'm originally from Japan but I moved to the UK about 2 years or ago for work. So I have this really good friend that I met like a month after I move here and I'm like super close with him at this point.

So I just got out of a relationship like a month ago and I wasn't looking to date anyone but I honestly think im developed feelings for him but I don't know. He's very nice and he's really smart (he speaks 3 languages fluenty and is an engineer) so talking with him is mentally stimulating unlike it was with my ex.

Well anyway the other day I was at home and he came by to drop something off I had let him borrow and I was on a call with my mom when he showed up. She doesn't speak English very well she only knows a few words or phrases. So normally if she says anything to my friends I'll translate it for them. So she said something to him and I got ready to translate and out of nowhere he responded in Japanese. Which shocked me so bad I was not expecting it. I stood there looking so stupid.

But apparently he remember when I mentioned around the time we met that I missed being able to speak Japanese every day with people and so he had spent the last 2 years learning it for me until he was pretty fluently just so I would have someone to talk to.

So this isn't helping my case at all in if I do something about my feelings or wait till they go away. Cause I dont know if its only because Im out of a relationship and just subconsiously want something or what. This feels like something out of a friend's to lovers fanfic. (Also sorry if this was long and sorry if my grammer was bad I sometimes struggle with it in english.)

Um. This is tricky. I’m going to say something I very rarely say to women because I have very little sympathy for men ever when it comes to relationships but…be gentle with him.

The guy spent two years learning Japanese for you. He very likely has feelings for you and they run two years deep. That’s not something you should take lightly or go into if you’re not sure about how you feel. Someone who would do that for you is someone who deserves you to be the right place to give that a real shot. And you deserve that. Because people who would learn a language for you when you’re not even dating don’t come around often, and you deserve to explore that fully if there’s a chance he could be the right person for you.

Clearly you guys are pretty close, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going anywhere…I’d give it a bit longer. Let the immediate loneliness that comes from a break up dissipate. Really just feel happy being alone. And then decide if you feel like being with him would be even better than that.

And if the answer is yes…then starts the process of waiting for him to ask you out 😂 hopefully that won’t take another 2 years!

But honestly he sounds kinda special, even if just as a friend.

That’s my two cents, I hope it helps! Also, how did your mum feel about him? Mums always have good insights!

Your English is perfect by the way, I am in awe of people who can learn second languages like this, and especially when they have a different alphabet, seriously impressive 🧎‍♀️