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The Eye of the Hurricane [18] - Boundaries
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️
Summary: Family dinner can get tense.
Word Count: 2500
Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.
Series Masterlist
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“Charm, how long are you going to keep this silent treatment going?” Bucky’s voice reached you and you kept your focus on Alpine, holding the toy as she smacked it with her paw. “I mean you were the one who went and met up with your ex—”
“A friendly lunch!” you said, lifting your gaze from Alpine to see him leaning against the door of his changing room, his arms crossed. Your heart skipped a beat but you pursed your lips, painfully aware of the petulant expression on your face.
“Does he know it was friendly?”
“What do you want me to do Bucky, make him sign a paper to acknowledge it?” you asked back and he rolled his eyes.
“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said. “Why did you two break up?”
You frowned. “What?”
“I mean I know how good you are at holding grudges, so being friends with an ex doesn’t sound like you, to be honest.”
You shrugged your shoulders.
“Maybe he didn’t give me any reason to hold a grudge,” you said. “No wonder you wouldn’t get it.”
He gawked at you before running a hand over his face.
“I apologized like one thousand times—”
“You sent me a text couple of months later that said ‘you’re not still angry, are you’?” you corrected him. “Do you even know what an apology means?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh you do know,” you said. “I stand corrected.”
“No I mean, I’m sorry for that night.”
“Not accepted,” you deadpanned, scratching at Alpine’s head as she got bored of the feather and plopped down on the soft sheets. Bucky took a deep breath.
“Why did you break up?”
You lifted your head to roll your eyes at him. “Why is it important?”
“It’s important to me,” he said as he walked back into his dressing room, then came back with a pair of cufflinks. “Especially if he broke your heart.”
The idea of Bucky being angry at someone for breaking your heart was so absurd when he was the one who tore your heart out in the first place, but you chose not to comment on it.
“We just weren’t a good fit,” you said. “We were both idiots, to be honest.”
“You had him checked though?” Bucky asked, still busy with putting his cufflinks on and you shot him a glare.
“No Bucky, that was my first rodeo,” you deadpanned. “I just date civilians without making sure they can be trusted.”
 “And now?”
“I had him checked when he moved into the city and first made contact with me,” you said. “He still can be trusted.”
“That’s where we disagree, Charm.”
“Have you trusted anyone in your life, Bucky?” you asked, exasperated. “Except Steve and Sam, that is.”
Bucky shrugged his shoulders.
“I trust you,” he pointed out, making your heart skip a beat and you stared at him for a couple of seconds, then forced out a scoff.
“Yet here you are, questioning me about that lunch and him in general?”
“That has more to do with him than you, you know that,” he replied and you leaned back on the pillows, Alpine jumping to curl up in your lap.
“Either way,” you muttered and stole a look at him as he got into his jacket. “We have dinner at 8 tonight with your mom and dad, don’t forget.”
Bucky threw his head back with a groan. “I still think we should skip that.”
“It’s the second time Winnifred asked,” you reminded him. “We’re going.”
“Fun,” he grumbled as he came closer to scratch at Alpine’s head, then pressed a kiss on top of your hair, making you bite back a smile. “I’ll see you tonight then?”
“Mm hm, try not to kill anyone until then.”
“I’ll try,” he said and walked out of the bedroom, making you heave a sigh as you looked down at Alpine who was purring.
“Dinner with George and Winnifred,” you muttered. “Yeah. Should be fun.”
                                                  *
It wasn’t that having dinner with George and Winnifred was something new for you. You had spent your entire childhood with Becca, not to mention your families had been close since you two were little, so tonight was supposed to be just relaxing.
In theory, that was.
Yet, a mere minute after stepping a foot into the house you realized that would not be the case. Bucky had texted you saying he would be a couple minutes late, and while the food was about to be ready, George was still in his office.
“You know how they get with business,” Winnifred told you as you sat next to Becca on the couch. “I’ll just check the kitchen, excuse me.”
“No problem,” you said as she walked away and you turned to Becca. “Do you know what’s happening?”
“Apparently my father and your father had a very long phone call,” Becca said without lifting her gaze from her phone, texting who you could only assume was Leila. “I have no idea why Bucky is late, but I know for a fact that daddy won’t like that.”
You bit inside your cheek, crossing your arms.
“Great,” you muttered. “I’m guessing Ian keeps dripping poison in my dad’s ear and now George is getting affected as well.”
Becca let out a small laugh.
“It’s not like daddy can do anything,” she murmured. “Bucky took over already.”
“No but he can make things quite difficult.”
“Bucky is used to that,” Becca said and you turned sideways to look at her better.
“So you didn’t bring Leila?” you asked as if trying to tease her and she scoffed.
“Are you kidding?” she asked. “I don’t want them to scare her off.”
“Give her some credit, will you?” you asked. “That car chase didn’t exactly scare her off.”
“If it came down to choosing between a car chase and my parents, I’d say the car chase is much safer,” she told you, making you bite down a grin.
“I get what you mean,” you said as Winnifred walked back into the living room again.
“The food is ready,” she said. “Come on, to the dining room.”
Becca threw her arm over your shoulder as you both followed her to the dining room and you were just about to take your seats when George walked into the room as well.
“Aw my dearest girls,” he said, first kissing Becca’s cheek and then yours. “I missed you two!”
“Hi George.”
“Hi daddy!” Becca gave him a bright smile and Winnifred motioned at the table.
“Sit down, sit down!” she said. “The chef spent the whole day working on this, I hope you’ll like it.”
“I’m sure I will, I’m starving,” you said as you sat down and George looked around the room.
“And where’s Bucky?”
“He’s going to be a couple of minutes late,” you said. “He texted me just now.”
George stole a look at Winnifred, then shook his head.
“That boy needs to work on his time management skills,” he said, making you pull your brows together and Winnifred waved a hand in the air.
“He’s just busy with work,” she said. “It’s understandable.”
You shot them a smile.
“He’s just giving me the time to talk about him without him present,” you joked, making George chuckle.
“And how is married life, Y/N?”
“It’s wonderful,” you said airily. “I have nothing to complain, really. Which, you know how unlike me that sounds.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Winnifred said. “You and Bucky…You two were explosive around each other until very recently.”
“Thin line between love and hate,” Becca said with a grin before sipping her drink and Winnifred shook her head.
“Bucky never hated you Y/N, you know that.”
You made yourself busy with your food and took your fork to your mouth, nodding.
“I know,” you said after swallowing your bite. “We just had um…history, in a way.”
“And isn’t it wonderful how it worked out?” George said. “As I’ve told Bucky before—”
“Hi everyone,” Bucky’s voice cut him off as he walked into the room and came straight to kiss you on top of your head before taking his seat beside you. “Sorry I’m late, something came up.”
George heaved a sigh of displeasure as if he was trying to contain himself, and Bucky raised his brows at him but Winnifred cleared her throat.
“Oh not a problem sweetheart, we’ve just started.”
“Thanks,” Bucky said as a maid filled his glass and turned to Becca. “You didn’t bring Leila?”
“I asked the same thing,” you said with a small grin and Becca made a face.
“No thank you,” she said. “I’d rather it if you guys didn’t scare her off.”
“Well—”
“Perhaps it’s better that Becca is taking her time,” Winnifred said. “To make sure she can be trusted. She is a civilian after all.”
Bucky tried to hide his smirk as he sipped his drink.
“You haven’t even met the girl yet mom,” he reminded her. “It’s a bit early for you to not approve.”
“It’s not that I don’t approve!” Winnifred said. “It’s just…perhaps it’d be better if Becca were dating someone in business, that’s all I’m saying.”
You tried not to roll your eyes but Becca shot her a look, then turned to Bucky.
“See? Exactly why my girlfriend is not here.”
“Nah, I agree that it was the best idea for this time,” George said. “Considering tonight’s topic at least. Bucky, we need to talk.”
Bucky frowned slightly and you sat up straighter, your stomach doing an unpleasant flip.
“About what?” Bucky asked and George licked his lips.
“What is this I hear about you letting Y/N get involved in the business?” he asked. “Arthur called me, he’s worried out of his mind.”
“Nobody is ‘letting’ me do anything,” you said, trying your hardest to control the defensive tone in your voice. “If my father talked to you, you can just tell me, George.”
Bucky vibranium hand covered yours on the table and you felt a fluttering in your stomach before you turned your attention to George who shook his head.
“Y/N honey, I get that you want to be a part of it,” he said with the same condescending tone your father tended to adapt whenever he talked about you becoming a part of the business and Bucky’s jaw clenched as you narrowed your eyes. “But it’s not the best idea. Bucky agrees, I’m sure.”
“I don’t,” Bucky pointed out without missing a beat. “And watch your tone while you’re talking to my wife.”
The warmth spread over your cheeks. “It’s fine, Buck.”
“No it’s not.”
 Winnifred cleared her throat. “Perhaps we could talk about it later on.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to work,” Becca muttered, leaning back to sip her drink and George put his fork down.
“Bucky,” he said like a warning. “It’s wonderful that you two are happy and in love, don’t get me wrong. But when it comes to my business—”
“I think you mean my business,” Bucky deadpanned and a silence fell upon the table, nervousness filling your system. You rolled your shoulders back, trying to decide whether you should step in or not, but George beat you to it.
“I didn’t put you to the top just so that you can ruin the business, Bucky.”
Your eyes widened as your jaw dropped and Bucky let out a furious breath.
“You didn’t put me anywhere,” he said, his voice almost a growl. “I proved myself over and over.”
“Why don’t we all—”
“And where would you be without me?” George asked him and a furious breath left your lips.
“Alright, this is enough,” you said with a click of your tongue and stood up. “We’re leaving. Come on Buck.”
“Y/N—” Winnifred started as Bucky stood up, still holding your hand.
“See you later,” he told Becca and his mom, and you both walked out of the dining room and made your way through the foyer to step out of the house. He followed you to the car and you told the driver to drive you back to your place, then got in with Bucky.
Bucky didn’t speak a word all the way until you two got home, clearly lost in his own mind and you didn’t want to push him before he was ready. You picked up Alpine who rushed to greet you, then kissed her and put her down again. Bucky ran a hand over his face and flung himself on the couch in silence, biting inside his cheek while you filled two glasses of whiskey. You handed one to him and he took it, trying to offer you a small smile.
“Sorry about that,” he rasped out and you made a face.
“Your dad is an asshole, it has nothing to do with you,” you said. “It’s my therapist’s favorite topic to be honest with you, I could write a book about it.”
He huffed out a laugh. “Yeah well…”
“Speaking of, we’re going to the couple’s therapy,” you told him, making his head snap up.
“What?” he asked. “Why?”
“So that we can make sure this type of situation isn’t going to happen when you marry your second wife and have heirs,” you told him and he heaved a sigh.
“Y/N…” he muttered and rubbed at his eyes again. “Fuck, my head is killing me.”
You pursed your lips, then kicked at his shoe slightly before walking to the window.
“Can you come here?” you asked and he shot you a look, but did as you asked.
“What are we doing?” he asked and you turned to him.
“Tell me what you see.”
He fixed his gaze on the skyline and shrugged his shoulders.
“The city,” he said and you shook your head.
“No,” you said. “What you’re seeing is the part of the city under your rule. Not George’s, not anyone else’s. Yours.”
He huffed out a tense chuckle. “Mm hm, the part he gave to me.”
“The part you took rightfully,” you corrected him. “No one would let you have it if they thought you didn’t have what it takes, Bucky. We’re not letting Ian take over because he’s not the right choice, do you seriously believe you’d be where you are if it was just George handing you things?”
That made him think for a moment as he swallowed thickly, still keeping his gaze on the skyline and you bumped his shoulder with yours.
“You’re frustratingly good at what you do,” you told him. “Which is going to be a problem when I take over my dad’s business and eventually will have to do business with you, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, it’s fine.”
That managed to coax a chuckle out of him and he turned to look at you better, that fond light playing in his bright blue eyes.
“Thanks Charm.”
Your heart skipped a happy beat and you smiled back at him, then cleared your throat.
“No problem,” you said and walked away from him to grab your phone off the kitchen island.
 “I’m ordering pizza by the way,” you called out, your stomach still filled with butterflies for some reason. “We stormed out in style but I’m still hungry. Want some?”
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arminswife12 · 23 hours
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MATCHING PIERCINGS
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Chris x reader
Warnings: mentions of needles
Summary: Chris and ready get their eyebrows pierced together for vlog.
A/n: guys ik this is bad im BEGGING FOR FEEDBACK PLSSS. Also I don’t see enough Chris fluff. Also this is kinda inspired by Tara yummy’s vid of her getting her eyebrow pierced I just borrowed a few things she’s said about her experience!
I woke up scared and excited I had mixed feelings about the events that were gonna happen in a few minutes. Chris and I were gonna get matching eyebrow piercings but I have a low pain tolerance. I have multiple ear piercings but I’ve passed out for some of them. It wasn’t that bad I’m just scared and excited about it.
Chris and I started getting ready I put on one of Chris’s fresh love hoodies still being able to smell his cologne and I also decided to throw on some black shorts. Today was a Tuesday which meant the triplets were going to film a vlog video. They decided to add Chris and I getting pierced into the vlog.
I was done getting ready so I decided to go into the kitchen of the triplets’ house and I was met with Nick already pointing a camera to my face. “Say hi to the vlog y/n!” I waved at the camera with a smile as I got a Dr Pepper from the fridge. The triplets and I were close especially because I was dating Chris but we were really close before that too. We hung out almost everyday except when they were busy filming and doing other stuff like meeting creators.
I had a platform of my own just not as big as theirs. I am happy with having a small following since people get hated on as a soon and they get a huge following and attention and I wouldn’t have the time to handle that.
“Are you guys ready” I hear from behind me as Matt plays with the keys in his hands. “Yeah I’ll be there in a second!” Chris yells
“So how are you feeling y/n?” Nick asks as he points the camera towards me. “Scared but excited since I’ve been thinking of getting this piercing for a long time and I’m also happy Chris is doing this with me, I have no idea how I convinced him”
“I’m surprised you were able to convince him tbh” Matt lets out with a giggle.
Timeskip
We were on our way to the piercing shop and the reality of what was happing finally set in. Nick was keeping the vlog updated as we were only 4 minutes away from the shop.
Matt pulled into the shop and Nick started vlogging and I waited for Chris to get out the car so I could hold his hand. I clung onto Chris’s side since I was nervous. “Don’t worry I’ll be there the whole time” Chris says. Hearing those words gives me all the comfort I need.
I was first up to get the piercing as Nick was recording and Chris was holding my hand and rubbing my thumb to comfort me. The piercer got all the stuff she needed. “Hi! My names Lily and I’m gonna be your piercer, I’m just gonna talk you through it okay!” She was so sweet and was making me less nervous I closed my eyes as she was feeling my eyebrow “okay breathe in and… out” I did as she said and the needle went through
“Wow you did it!!” Said Nick as he was giggling behind the camera “shut up it’s done??” I questioned since it felt like nothing. “Yeah you’re all done let me just put in your jewelry!” As soon as the jewelery was done I switched spots with Chris now holding his hand for support. Chris went through the same process ans Nick was recording everything up close. “Nick back up!” Chris said as he felt the camera close to his face. We giggled at his comment “Matt you should get a piercing too”
“No thank you my ears are enough” he said with a giggle.
We left the shop and decided to get something to eat since we haven’t eaten anything “we look so cool” I said to Chris as he agreed.
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vettelsvee · 9 hours
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THIS IS THE LEAST I COULD DO | Sebastian Vettel
f1 masterlist | history series masterlist | season 1
history series season 2: part 1 | part 2.1 | part 2.2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6
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summary: sebastian is back on track… sort of. diana is back as well —better said, she’s welcomed to red bull racing as a race engineer intern
word count: 4716
warnings: a not so good behavior from certain person towards diana. i remind you that this is a fictional work and everything represented here is just pure fiction.
taglist: [@theseerbetweenus @annewithaneofthegreengable @vincentvanshoe @formulaonebuff] if you wanna be tagged in each part just tell me in the comments <3
a/n: welcome back to history! hope you like this season even though is not my fave (for now, 2010 season is my top 1), but the ending is 📈
feedback, as well as reblogs and comments, are truly appreciated!
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2023
"The first time I met Diana was in Jerez, in February 2009, during the presentation of the RB5. Sebastian and I had to present the car we would be using that season and she had come for a first contact with the team. I swear Seb talked to me about that intern too many times to the point I wanted to shut him up," explained the Australian, laughing. "Do you remember when, because of you, I thought Diana was your girlfriend? And then I asked Christian and he said yes!"
Sebastian Vettel remembered that as if it had happened a couple of minutes ago. His obsession with the young woman who was now his wife grew during the 2008 winter break, even though they had no contact beyond the messages they shared on that fateful Christmas Eve. When the German found out from Britta that the girl would be joining them in the Andalusian city, and no matter how much he tried not to care, he couldn't help but wish the day would come soon to see Diana Wagner again.
"You talked about her all the time, Seb," Webber continued. "It was normal for me to think she was Hanna."
"I know, I know," the German insisted in a playful tone, hitting the older man's arm. "Leave it alone and focus on what we have to talk about! I'm hungry and sleepy, so you better wrap this all up as soon as you can."
[...]
2009 February 9th
Jerez, Spain
It was February and Sebastian, who seemed to have paid no attention during Geography classes in high school and was apparently unaware of the climatic differences between countries, was surprised at how the sun shone powerfully in the clear sky over the city of Jerez. He was eternally grateful to be able to enjoy much milder temperatures than those in his native Germany, where winter was potentially colder than in the south of Spain.
The two Red Bull Racing drivers arrived in a golf cart driven by a circuit worker to an area near the circuit offices, from where they would depart to carry out that presentation that Sebastian was not looking forward to doing.
This time they weren’t alone but accompanied by Karina, a Colombian woman in her early thirties who worked as the team's public relations from possibly that moment since Sebastian, despite being the rookie, had heard of some of its members. The woman, however, was totally unknown to him no matter how hard he tried to remember.
The fresh air blowing through the city of Cadiz was hitting them directly, something to be thankful for as sweat was starting to invade their bodies due to nerves, especially the younger one. After all, it was his first contact being, what many people considered, the young man who would lead Red Bull Racing to success.
Red Bull Racing’s chosen one.
To say that Sebastian felt pressure from the expectations that fans, journalists, and especially those not so admirers of the Formula 1 world who tended to criticize, had placed on him was an understatement.
The moment they stepped out of the cart, that internal tingling increased. They were barely taking their few belongings when they were already surrounded by the press, and as they approached the room where they would meet with Christian Horner, who would come out with them on stage, the media, with their cameras and microphones ready to capture any situation to manipulate or sell it as they saw fit, surrounded them overwhelmingly, as if they were criminals.
Webber seemed used to so many people paying attention to him, although he felt a little annoyed by the treatment they were receiving. Vettel, on the other hand, felt like he was losing air incredibly surprisingly, and all he wanted in those moments was for a bubble to surround him and take him out of there. His anxiety was escalating, but all he did to cope with the situation as best he could was to wonder if he was really prepared to face fame in such a way.
If the season had just begun, he didn't want to imagine how that same situation would unfold a few months later, when half of the calendar was complete.
"I think they know us a little around here, don't they?" the younger of the two commented ironically, turning his head to Webber as he tried to put aside his intrusive thoughts.
Mark just nodded, sharing the same opinion as the boy. The Australian was much more serious than him and, at that moment, he wasn't in the mood for much joking, although deep down he felt sorry for the pale face and droopy eyes of the German. That event was not only important for Red Bull but also for them, especially for himself. Since it had been announced that Sebastian Vettel would replace David Coulthard at the end of his very first full season as a rookie, the pressure had started to overwhelm him incredibly.
Flanked by the security that had been hired for the event, Sebastian and Mark, along with the woman accompanying them, managed to navigate the growing crowd of journalists that began to accumulate in the vicinity of the venue. As they got closer and closer to the room where they would be expected, the intensity of the flashes and the impertinent voices faded away. As soon as they arrived they came across a too nervous Christian and a much calmer Britta.
"Damn, you finally made it."
The blue team director headed towards the drivers as soon as they crossed the door and the room closed.
"Were you lost or something?" the British insisted.
"No, no," explained Vettel somewhat agitated. "The press had set us up big time."
"Don't overdo it, Sebastian," Mark replied to the younger one. "This is nothing compared to what you might encounter after a race."
Christian listened carefully to the absurd dialogue the two teammates were having, trying to extract some importance from it that wasn't just a stupid argument for the reporters. As soon as he got tired of them his posture stiffened, his features became serious, and he didn't hesitate for a second to interrupt them when he saw on his wristwatch that they should have been on stage five minutes ago.
"Okay," the man began, filling the room with a sepulchral sound. "You arrived later than expected, and your nonsense conversation made us delay everything even more. Besides, I don't think Karina has explained anything to you along the way, so I'll have to tell you now, clearly and concisely," he added.
His gaze turned to the Colombian, who until that moment had been talking animatedly with Roeske. Quickly, the younger one stood up and adopted a much more serious posture, with her shoulders raised, her back completely straight, and her arms static, as if she were a figure from Ancient Egypt, totally hieratic except for a smile that she couldn't help but let escape from her lips. There was no need for any indication from Christian to know that she had to explain in detail to Sebastian and Mark what each of their roles would be in the presentation:
"Okay, guys, the presentation will be divided in three main parts. First, we'll have a brief press conference where you will be answering, together with Christian, some general questions about your expectations for the upcoming season. Then, we'll move on to a photo session with the cars, where you'll be posing for photographers and anyone who feels like seeing you," Sebastian, at this last part, added a disgusted grimace that was suppressed from a distance by his public relations. "We'll finish with Mark," she pointed to the Australian, "announcing that the preseason tests will be taking place this very week, and with Sebastian," she now addressed the blonde, "explaining that today, exclusively, you'll be driving the RB5 for the first time."
Both drivers listened carefully to everything, without putting any impediment, and nodding constantly to make sure Horner saw them taking it all in.
"During the press conference you have to be careful with what you say," Karina continued, and Sebastian felt that the message was directed especially at him. Did the girl know something about his constant screw-ups with the media? "Avoid any kind of controversial comment that could be interpreted negatively and, above all, those that could be misunderstood."
"Your answers should focus on the team and, especially, on what we expect for this upcoming year," Christian included. "Remember that there are many cameras and microphones recording everything, and if the press already misinterprets and questions everything we say..."
"It's better to tread carefully," Webber interrupted.
Sebastian, listening to all that, realized he wasn't prepared for any of what he was about to experience, but he would do his best to do the best job of presenting himself there, in front of all those people, and give the best version of himself not only for himself but for the people he worked with.
The tension increased when one of the Red Bull members who decided to come to Spain opened the door, letting the noise of the flashes penetrate the walls of the room. Christian, Mark and Sebastian were about to go out on stage, and as much as they were focused on the role they would have to play shortly, Sebastian was startled when he felt a tiny hand take his wrist.
Britta knew her client was the focus that day, and she didn't want him to make any mistakes that could not only cost him his newly acquired job but also his reputation.
"I need you to listen to me carefully," her voice was quiet, but completely firm, to the point that even she herself was alarmed. Her hand was still holding Sebastian's, and for the moment, she had no intention of letting go. "Don't mention Diana under any circumstances. Understood?"
The boy frowned, surprised by Roeske's warning. He knew he had to be careful about what he said, but he didn't expect such a direct warning, especially when it was about Di.
He loved Britta, but he hated the version that had appeared in recent months: the one that thought the only thing that mattered to him was the Austrian even though, in a way, she was right.
"Why, according to you, can't I talk about Diana?" Vettel replied cautiously. "Besides, I was only going to talk about the team that I know nothing about and the upcoming season, which I don't expect anything from."
The German sighed and, after lowering her head to gather some patience and calm before facing the boy again, she looked at him seriously.
"Sebastian, I know you perfectly," she revealed. "You're a big mouth, and when it comes to Wagner, you tend to say more than you should. By the way, I totally forgot: important: Diana’s coming today."
The guy, who had his feet supported only by his heels, stumbled and was about to bump into a table next to him. He hoped his “workmate” would be in Spain, but he hadn't thought it would be possible for her to stop by the RB5 presentation.
"Diana is going to be at the presentation? Here, today, at the event? Really?"
The young man tried to keep calm as best he could, but his stammering showed otherwise. Britta responded to him seriously, explaining that Christian Horner mentioned it that very morning just before Webber and he arrived.
"I don't know why he didn't tell anyone before," Roeske confessed. "Maybe he wanted to avoid distractions... So please: be as discreet as possible when she appears, and do not mention her name under any circumstances. Remember: try to think with your brain, not with your dick."
Seb nodded, laughing and processing the information. While it was true that he already had his own limits set, and he knew he had to be careful, the news of the Austrian being there, paying attention to everything he said, took him completely by surprise.
"Don't worry, Britta," Vettel managed to say. "I won't say anything. Thanks for letting me know."
The PR smiled at him conspiratorially. Before the boy left the room, she hugged him, and she didn't let him leave until she reminded him that he was the best and, again, to focus on Red Bull Racing and the months ahead.
As soon as he stepped onto the improvised stage, the cheers were so loud that Diana, who was approaching the circuit entrance, almost drowned in the deafening noise coming from inside.
As the girl approached the circuit entrance, the growing crowd of journalists and motorsport enthusiasts was overwhelming. She knew perfectly well what it was like to be anxious for the launch of a new car, and the RB5 had caused a stir throughout Formula 1. The cameras moved back and forth at a breathtaking speed along with the flashes. You could even hear some reporters asking questions to the people around the Jerez Circuit.
The bleached blonde, still queuing up to access the event, saw Christian Horner chatting animatedly with Mark Webber and the German who had brought so many smiles to her face every time she reread his messages.
As soon as she crossed the gates and made her way to the area reserved for the Formula 1 team, she was pursued by one of the security guards who was strictly controlling access.
"I'm sorry, miss," the man explained, tapping Diana's shoulder somewhat aggressively. "Without a credential or an invitation, I can't allow you access. If you'd be so kind as to come with me..."
Diana felt a wave of frustration washing over her. Quickly, she took off her backpack from her shoulders and opened it aggressively to search fiercely for something to corroborate that she was part of Red Bull. At the same time, the man's patience, standing there completely upright with his arms crossed, began to fade.
Again, the Austrian looked towards the stage, and saw the three men chatting animatedly, pointing at the cars under their feet.
Time was running out quickly and, with it, Diana's chances of being able to do something.
Without thinking twice, the girl closed her backpack and slung it onto her back as quickly as she could to, at that moment, start running. She didn't stop to look back, trying to dodge everyone present and the security guards who had started chasing her as best she could. Every step she took was a reminder that she needed to improve her physical condition.
In the midst of the chase and her nervousness, Wagner began to hear someone calling her by her last name. After stopping and taking a quick look around to try to figure out where the female voices were coming from, she could see Britta Roeske, a little way to her left, waving her arms, trying to get her to approach. Diana heaved a sigh of relief and, relaxing her pace, approached her savior.
"At last, Diana!" the German exclaimed, opening her arms to hug her. "Horner and I didn't know if you would make it on time."
"Yes, I'm sorry," the girl began to explain in perfect Spanish without realizing that Roeske wasn't understanding her. "It was my fault. I thought the taxi ride from my hotel to here would be faster, but..."
"Honey, can you talk to me in German, please? I would even settle for English."
Diana lowered her head when she realized she had been speaking in Spanish the whole time and, trying not to die of embarrassment, repeated, now in German, the reason for her delay, all thanks to the incredible traffic jam that had formed a few streets before reaching the circuit.
At the same time she listened to Vettel's PR, her eyes began to wander towards the stage, where the drivers and the team principal were chatting animatedly and trying to interact as much as they could with the audience. Her heart began to beat strongly when she heard Sebastian say that he was very excited for the opportunity they had given him months ago to be part of Red Bull; she felt the same way, and it was all thanks to the guy who was giving that speech.
"Wow, it looks like Christian had a luxury skiing vacation," Diana commented when she heard the story Roeske had told her about Horner's trip to Switzerland. "I wish I did."
The German's gaze became completely curious at the girl's last words. Her instinct of something being wrong had been activated, and she was determined to try to find out more about what seemed to be worrying the blonde.
"And yours?" she inquired, trying not to make a big deal out of it. "Is there anything exciting you have to tell us? Tell me you have a boyfriend," she said excitedly, although she regretted it because it seemed a bit intrusive.
"Nah, quite the opposite. It's been very quiet," she lied.
Her forced smile was telling everything to the older woman. Diana didn't want anyone to know, for the time being, the truth about her father's health, so she had to hide it as much as she could.
Roeske became concerned when she saw that Diana's eyes became somewhat watery; moreover, the tone of voice and expression that had appeared on Diana were a bit... worrying.
"Well, we all need to rest from time to time. If you ever need to talk to someone or vent about something," Britta added, trying to let the girl know that her help was there for whatever she needed, "I'm here. We haven't talked much, but that doesn't mean I can't listen to you."
Diana didn't know what to say. Although she hadn't had much contact with Sebastian's right-hand, she quite liked her. In fact, there had been a few occasions when she had wanted to approach the woman to exchange some inconsequential words with her, but her shyness always won.
Christian Horner's voice penetrated the room, making everyone, apart from the two German-speaking blondes, engrossed in the explanation of the purposes and objectives that Red Bull Racing would pursue starting the following month. Sebastian was listening attentively while trying to remember the faces of the people in the front rows, something he loved to do whenever he had any public appearance. However, his gaze began to wander a little further back when he spotted a blonde head next to Britta. Diana was having a conversation with her, her hands were moving constantly.
Even in a crowded place where he was supposed to be the center of everything, Diana Wagner captured all his attention.
To his surprise, he didn't mind at all.
For a moment, everything around him faded away, existing only that girl who, no matter how much he tried to forget her for more than obvious reasons, he couldn't. When she made eye contact with him and waved shyly, a mocking smile formed on the German's mouth, who began to feel a strange tingling in his stomach.
"Hey, Seb, are you still on Earth? Damn, I think we lost him, Christian."
Mark, upon asking Sebastian a question and receiving no response from the German, decided to throw another sarcastic remark while giving him a light tap on the arm to get his attention. Horner leaned closer to the young man's face and passed his free hand in front of him; immediately, Vettel blinked rapidly and forced himself to focus his gaze on his boss, who was subtly indicating to him to say something.
"Are you listening?" the Australian insisted again.
"Come on, Seb. We're in the middle of the presentation!" Christian shouted now as calmly as he could. If that was what he expected from the young man, what six years they had ahead of them... "Did a cat eat your tongue, or did you get lost in the clouds of Valencia?"
"We're in Jerez, but yes" the German hurried to say, earning some good laughs from the audience. "I'm sorry, I got distracted by a fan out there," he said, specifically pointing to the area where Diana and Britta were. "Where were we?"
Despite the murderous looks Britta was starting to throw his way at that moment, all Sebastian noticed was Diana's blush and her shy demeanor, clearly embarrassed, and flattered by Sebastian's words.
After a successful presentation and a much more acclaimed question session than expected, Christian Horner announced that the surprise of the day would be that Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber would be driving, for the first time, the RB5 for the crowd and the press present. The audience exploded in cheers, applauses and even started chanting, eager to see two highly acclaimed Formula 1 drivers in action.
Horner, immediately after stepping off the stage, tried to put on his best smile as he approached Diana, who was with Britta backstage. With a quick wave of his hand, he gestured for her to come closer to him.
"Be careful, okay?" Roeske whispered before the girl moved away, "Whatever he says or he does, don't lose your nerve. Nod and try to say yes to everything even you don’t agree."
Diana nodded, feeling sure of herself for the first time in her life in that world, although a little nervous. Then, she followed Christian's hurried pace, who seemed to be taking her to a more secluded place on stage where they could talk privately.
"What's this all about, Horner?" the blonde demanded, crossing her arms and trying not to let her guard down, "I thought we had discussed everything when you called me last month."
"It's nothing, Diana," the Brit clarified quickly. "I just want to talk to you again about the details of your joining Red Bull. After all, it's not the same to talk through one of those strange devices as it is face to face."
Roeske watched from a distance the conversation between the two, trying to decipher what they were saying, but it was impossible. She knew that Christian Horner had one of the most important roles in the team and that anything he wanted could be possible. At the same time, she was worried about Diana and how she would be treated. She wasn't her mother, and she wasn't trying to be, she was sure she already had one, but the fact that Sebastian spoke about her every time they saw each other had ended up generating in her a kind of special affection for the girl who seemed to matter so much to her client.
If only he wasn't so stupid and confessed what was on his mind, things would be so different...
"First of all, I want to tell you that we are extremely excited to have you on the team. Your skill and determination are undeniable," confessed the team principal. "Seb told us that it was you who came up with his strategy in Monza, and let me tell you: Rocky was completely impressed by it."
"Yes… well, it wasn't that big of a deal, but thank you," she said, trying not to give importance to a merit that publicly wasn't hers. "I am also very excited to join your team and have the opportunity to not only learn from the best, but also to become the best."
Had she gone too far by saying that last part? Perhaps the furrowed brow of the man in front of her was an indication that she had, but she couldn't care less.
"I'm glad to hear that, Wagner, but I want us to talk about more serious matters."
"I know," the Austrian replied.
Diana didn't want to show weakness, but she knew she had to control herself a little and think before saying whatever came to her mind no matter how right it was. That frankness seemed to bother the team principal, whose expression went from joy to anger in a matter of seconds.
"Diana, let me be clear," he muttered. "The conditions to be on this team are simple, but non-negotiable, so I hope they are clear to you from this moment on. You will have to dye your hair blonde as soon as you see the slightest reddish tone in it," how did he know that blonde wasn't her natural color? "Also, you have to come to work impeccably every day and only wear the team polo with a skirt and medium heels," who the hell had come up with those stupid rules? "I don't want you to socialize with drivers inside the paddock unless it is strictly necessary, as it will happen with our two.”
What were those stupid rules? Who invented them and thought they would be great if they wanted to promote equality?
"Your performance will be closely monitored," Horner continued, not giving Wagner a chance to express her apparent disagreement. “And, if you don't meet the expectations we obviously won’t count more on you.”
The young woman's discouragement was incredible, but her ambition was even greater. If she had to live from then on with those impediments to make her dream come true, she couldn't care less.
Christian knew he had gone too far with his way of expressing himself, but his pride was such that it prevented him from apologizing to the newcomer. Calming down a bit, and trying to calm the waters, he looked directly at Diana, and although he did give her another ultimatum, this time he did it much more calmly:
"I want you to know that I’ll try to trust you as much as I trust Sebastian with him recommending you," he acknowledged. "His word has proven to be much more reliable than that of many people not only with more experience in this sport. If he says you're capable, I’ll believe it too. But first, I have to see it myself."
The blonde tensed at the man's last sentence.
"Sebastian and I are just friends, Christian," she defended herself for no reason. "In fact, I would say we're not even that."
"I’ll try to trust you, Diana," he finally revealed with great effort what he had wanted to tell the young woman from the beginning, "and I'm sure more people will if you keep working and improving as you have been doing so far."
"Then why do I have to do everything you've asked me before?"
All the girl wanted to do at that moment was to calm her anger at the bipolarity that the man had shown in those moments. She knew there was a vast background behind those words and that, possibly, they didn't come from him but from some superior who wanted to test her.
"Don't screw it up, please," he simply said. "For God's sake, do not to screw it up."
The tension that had accumulated in the place dissipated as soon as Sebastian appeared, bursting in with a bottle of water in one hand and his helmet in the other, his driver’s suit open to his waist and sweat drops falling heavily from his forehead. His eyes lit up when he saw Diana, and her heart skipped a beat.
Without wasting a second, the driver placed his helmet and protective gear carefully on a nearby table and rushed to his friend. She couldn't help but smile as he wrapped his arms around her and they united in a hug that Diana wished would never end, while she kept repeating "thank you" in his ear.
It was the first time they had seen each other in person since November of the previous year, and a simple, insignificant caress was saying everything they hadn't said, and even more than they wanted to say because, at that moment, they were afraid to be honest with themselves and with each other.
Sebastian, without letting her go, gently stroked her hair and began to kiss her forehead affectionately, earning some giggles from the girl that were music to his ears.
"This is the least I could do, Di," he said when he pulled her away from him a bit, but without letting go of her chest. "You deserve this and much more, and I'm going to fight to give you everything you deserve. I promise."
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 days
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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canisalbus · 5 months
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I'm sure you get loads of these but heck I said I'd give it a shot anyway!
Your artwork is so inspiring and beautiful. I recently graduated from art school with a degree in Animation Production but I've decided I'd love to be an illustrator some day. Your work really motivates me and gets my brain juice buzzin. Keep it up!!!
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lonicera-edulis · 1 year
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Someday I will finish everything. At the moment I am battling with commissions. These are just inbetween sketches/edited wips.
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licollisa · 2 years
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This applies to here too
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sabraeal · 1 year
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as a writer how do you stop thinking about like getting kudos/comments? I've just started writing fanfic, and when I start a writing something -- it goes well and then eventually I get to point where I'm like "ahh but what the readers don't like that? or what if I don't get as many kudos or comments" and it makes it difficult to continue because then it becomes stressful -- I guess how do you deal with "wanting to write stuff for yourself" and "wanting validation" thanks!
You're going to hate this answer, because I hated it too, but TIME. When you first start writing and you get kudos and comments and people love what you're doing, it's a huge validation of your effort and talent, and it's natural that you want MORE of it. When I first started putting up fics I already had been writing for 15+ years, knew I was good at it, and still for a good few years found myself really glued to the hit counter, and the kudos, and wondering how I'd be able to get people to comment the same way they did on things like Seven Suitors.
But the thing is that commenting comes and goes in waves, and unless a fandom has a big comment culture, or is large enough that you're guaranteed a good glut of them every time you post...you're going to hit a point where you write exactly what everyone wants and get crickets. And at that point you'll get ANNOYED, because LOOK, I MADE THIS, i made it for YOU GUYS, and now y'all don't have anything to say? It'll get to you. It'll make you doubt that you know what anyone wants at all. It'll happen and it'll suck the whole time.
Lots of advice will say "write for yourself," which is an excellent sentiment. You should always write what YOU want. Put into your fic what you want to see, write the nitpicky poetic metaphors and craft the most screwball twists your heart desires. Pour yourself into the most niche AUs and most tin-hat canon theories. At the end of the day, you want the IDEAS you put down to be for you, because comments and kudos are nice, but if they don't come...you have to be proud of what you put out, even when it feels like an echo chamber.
But also...we don't POST things for ourselves. We post things to share. Fic are a conversation with canon and it is perfectly natural to want to create something that creates conversation among other fans. So you're never going to fully get the need for validation out of your head, you're not. You can hide hit counts and ignore your inbox all you like, but the want to have someone interact with your work, to inspire someone to reach out to you will ALWAYS be there. You just have to create a healthier relationship with it.
Be confident in what you write. Think less about whether people will like it, and more about how you WANT them to react. The reader is the most important character in any novel, but it's the one most authors forget to manage. When you come to a point where you go "oh man, I hope this is good for them!" stop and go, "what do I *want* them to be feeling here?" Focus on where you're putting their attention and whether you WANT it there. There's so much you can do when you visualize your relationship with the reader as PART of the work, and it takes off a lot of the pressure of "is this good? is it disappointing? will this get me validation?" and brings it back into the realm of storytelling. You are taking your reader on a journey, and when you do it well people will think less about "did I like that?" and more about "what comes next?"
#asks#writing advice#writing#please understand nonnie that what you are feeling is completely natural and part of the process#and shades of that will stick with you no matter how good you get#but the thing you want to keep in the center of your mind when it comes to that#is that you can only get kudos once on a fic and you are lucky to get a 1:100 comment vs hits ratio#so the instant validation WILL dry up and you'll have to have something about your story#that makes you push through. because people will come back and comment!#people will blow through 50+ chapter and leave you the most emotionally hungover review promising you their first borns#but sometimes you will have written a good third of them with NO feedback whatsoever#and you just have to trust in yourself that it's good. it's FINE#i used to obsessively check hits and be really put out to see how many people were coming and not commenting#especially when i wrote really emotionally driven stuff and really tore myself up to get those feelings through#but i also would have been miserable only writing fluffy 1 or 2 shots with no plot just to get the flush of comments those fics get#you just gotta do what you gotta do and let your audience find you. recontextualizing the relationship helps a LOT#i already was big on focusing on the meta plot of my works because as i said. 15+ years. had a lot of time to experiment and get good#but i still had to like. give myself the same pep talk 2 years in about how to view that relationship#everyone goes through it and if they say they don't they're a liar and i mean that seriously 🤣
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delivish · 1 month
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seoafin · 1 year
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when it comes to reception on my fics i'm not even asking you guys to comment on them (although i am extremely very grateful for every tag comment and ask) it's the barest of bare minimums which is to respect me as a person and to not come into my askbox to demand a fic that probably won't even break 200 notes
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centralnart · 2 years
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paganinpurple · 1 year
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AO3 Etiquette -UPDATED
Based on both decent and not so decent replies, I have made some changes to my original post below.
It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:
As well as likes, kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished it, you liked it - so kudos.
If you really liked it, you should try to comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.
No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it (so use your notes to say if you want some constructive feedback). Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. No, posting it online is not an open invitation for that. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity and just want to share. Don't ruin that for them. I've seen so many authors just stop writing coz they can't handle the negative emotions the critism brings, and it's only meant to be a fun thing shared for free (pointing out tagging errors is not included in this).
Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.
There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.
For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.
The tag exception is if you don't want to tag a million things or spoil your story, you can rate it as "chose not to use warnings," and maybe tag the bare minimum.
Don't censor tags. How can someone exclude a tag if the word isn't typed out correctly? There are no content bans for terms so don't censor them.
If the tags are mostly content/trigger warnings, especially if they are things considered very fucked up or graphic, you might want to use "dead dove - do not eat" to ensure people know that you're not messing around with tags and what they get is exactly what you've warned them about.
Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLATONIC, like friendship or family.
Nothing is banned. This is an rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.
People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.
Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite or an exchange youve written for going public). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.
Instead of deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - consider making it anonymous or orphaning it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to your name anymore. If you still want to delete it, fair enough.
It's come to my attention that metaworks ARE allowed on AO3, which is something I wasn't aware of. So if you do post an essay or theory, please tag it as such so others can choose to search for it or exclude it. Art is also allowed.
The only reason this archive works is because NON ONE PROFITS. Do not link to your ko-fi or patreon or mention monetary gain in any way or you violate the terms and risk having your account removed. If anyone does link, it leaves the archive open to people claiming it's for profit and having the whole thing removed.
I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.
I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.
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navybrat817 · 4 months
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Why isn't Bucky waking me up to have his way with me?
I wish I had the answer, nonnie!
Slip Inside
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky can't resist having you when he comes home.
Word Count: Over 1.5k
Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, somnophilia (at first), established relationship, pet names, possessive behavior, slight feels (it's me, okay?), lovesick and needy Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: I can't send Bucky, but here you lovelies go! ❤️Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Bucky wasn't meant to be home until tomorrow. He almost called to let you know he’d be back a day early, but it was late and he didn't want to disturb your slumber. Imagining the happy look in your eyes when you woke up beside him brought a smile to his face. Being loved by you was something he still couldn't believe was real some days, but he knew in the depths of his soul that you would always be his girl.
“Welcome home,” he whispered to himself when he saw you in bed, a sight for sore eyes.
He kept his gaze on you as he undressed, careful not to make any noise. You had an arm draped over the pillow next to you, the one he usually rested his head on. His heart raced as he took a step closer and gently pulled the blanket away, your body barely covered by the shirt he recently bought for you. Shivering slightly, you tried to curl in on yourself, but stilled quickly.
Like you knew he was watching you.
“I love you,” he breathed into the room.
You replied with a moan and rubbed your hand against the pillow.
You were beautiful when you slept. If you asked him, you were gorgeous all the time. A breathless kind of vision that he grew to appreciate more and more each day. But you weren't like a piece of art for him to just admire. You were the type of beauty meant to be appreciated.
And he gladly did so with his hands, mouth, and cock.
Oh, he loved you. Fuck, he needed you, too. It was an ache. A hunger. Awake, asleep, it didn't matter as long as he had you. And you were understanding enough to let him take what he needed.
“Mine,” he whispered.
Bucky quickly took the opportunity to slip into the bed and spoon you from behind. Your steady breathing grounded him in a sense while awakening the beast he kept at bay. The one that wanted to come out and play. One that needed to bury himself deep and keep you full.
If you were awake, he would've turned your head to kiss you nice and slow, unrushed even with the mounting desperation. Instead he rubbed his nose and scruffy chin at the juncture between your neck and shoulder, breathing in the distinctly sweet scent of you while wanting to leave his claim. That no one else could touch or have you. That you were his.
“You're mine,” he growled lowly.
Rubbing the inside of your thigh once he pushed your shirt up enough, he heard your breathing hitch. He wasn't ready for you to wake up just yet, but it didn't keep him moving his hand higher and grasping the elastic of your underwear. He debated tearing the offending fabric off, but he couldn't fault you for wearing them.
You didn't know he'd come home tonight.
He also thought about touching you through your panties to feel you squirm under his touch. Your whines and whimpers always made his cock twitch, especially when you soaked the fabric. Sometimes he liked to shove them in your mouth so you could taste yourself and know he was the one who did that to you.
Only him.
He brushed his lips along your skin as he pulled it down, almost wishing he was in front of you so he could look down and see your exposed pussy. “Mine,” he whispered again as his fingers parted your folds and skimmed over your clit.
You moved back against him with a sigh, enticing him without even trying. Alternating between teasing the bundle of nerves and your slit, he felt his own breathing get heavier and harsh with each passing second. By the time he brought his fingers to his mouth to lick your juices away, his cock was hard and heavy with the need to sink into your dripping cunt. He grunted as your flavor exploded on his tongue. He was done with foreplay.
And with how you panted and writhed, you were ready for him.
He hooked your leg over his thick thigh to open you up, hoping it wouldn't hurt when you stretched around him. “I love you,” he said once more as he brushed the tip of his cock against your hole, sighing as he slowly filled you up.
He had to close his eyes and hide his face in your neck to keep from losing it. He could go for hours when he wanted to, but the feel of your warm wetness gripping him like a vice was almost too much. Finishing quickly or not didn't matter. You’d take it as a compliment if your sweet cunt made him empty himself inside you so fast.
But he had to make it last and make you come first.
With a deep breath, he got himself under control. You let out the sweetest whine when he almost pulled out completely and shoved himself back in. Curled around you, all you could do was take his deep thrusts. He could've breathed through his nose and tried to stay quiet. He could’ve gone slow and steady. But he moaned and nipped at your skin, not wanting to hide his desire for you.
He couldn't see your face, but he felt you roll your hips back as you began to stir and heard another whine escape. You weren't completely awake, but your body craved what he was doing to you. It was enough for him to roll you on your stomach and quicken his pace.
“Bucky?” You mumbled.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I couldn't resist. Your pussy’s too good,” he groaned, putting a hand to the back of your neck to hold you still. “I need you. Need to feel you come on my cock.”
You fluttered around him as he stretched over your back, forcing you to take every inch of him. Your body went pliant as you let out a tired and needy moan. If you wanted him to stop, you would’ve told him to do so. “Please,” you whined as he practically rutted into you.
“I got you,” he grunted, driving harder into you as your fingers twisted in the sheets. “Missed you. Missed you so fucking much. Might need to keep my cock in you all night.”
You trembled, both of you knowing you’d lay there and let him fuck you all night if he asked. You were so good for him. And greedy. It would be wrong of him not to give you what you longed for.
“And you'll let me fill you up, won't you? Of course, you will,” he panted against your ear. You tried to arch your back, but his massive frame overpowered you. “It’s okay. Just take it. Let me have you.”
Fucking you raw was a gift he’d selfishly continue to ask for and take. But how could he not? You always let out the prettiest sounds when he flooded your holes.
He couldn't stop himself from shoving his hand between the mattress and your body, seeking out your clit to tip you over the edge. Moans poured from you as he lightly pinched it, giving you the push you needed. “That’s it. Come on my cock. My cock. My good girl,” he encouraged as you clamped around him hard enough for him to lose his breath.
You nearly cried as he took you apart. “Bu… Bucky…”
“Trembling around my cock. Greedy girl,” he moaned, his hips snapping faster as he brought his mouth back to your ear. “My turn.”
He let out a deep groan as he stilled, filling you. His release hit him so hard his head spun, muttering his love for and possession of you as his eyes fluttered. You let out a broken moan as you clenched around him again and he had to keep from collapsing against you, both of you fighting for air.
“Love you,” he mumbled, wanting you to hear it now that you were awake.
He only pulled out so he could move you to your back and desperately kiss your lips the way he needed to, pushing himself back inside your leaking hole with a hum. Your eyes were half-lidded when he broke the kiss. Your gaze made him want to ruin you all over again.
“Love you, too,” you croaked, your back bowing when he groped your breast through the shirt. “Welcome home.”
Bucky’s heart pounded as he leaned down to kiss you again. It was a dance of tongue and teeth, dizzying and passionate. Some days you were the fire and others you were the fuel. You accepted the entirety of him and he welcomed everything you selflessly gave him in return.
“Good to be home, baby,” he smirked, brushing his thumb along your covered nipple. “Now stay awake. I need to fill you up at least two more times before the sun comes up.”
Even after that, he wasn't close to being done with you. But he was whole because he was home with you. And that would always be enough.
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We deserve this, okay? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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canthelpit0 · 9 days
Text
“We’ll figure it out”
Pairing: Inexperienced!Matt x Inexperienced!Reader
Wordcount: 5.9k +
Summary: what happens when you hook up with your long time best friend? Except both of you are virgins.
Warnings: Smut, nasty, language, use of y/n, pet names (pretty boy, sweetheart, pretty girl, etc), reader has a cat named sun, study session, oral m!receiving, brief crying, oral f!receiving, praise kink, fingering, cowgirl, no protection (wrap it up!), she’s not on BC, creampie
(A/N: English is not my first language. So sorry for any mistakes. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy xx)
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You have known the triplets since middle school, and you’ve been close to all of them.
Well, especially with Nick.
Everything was fine, you weren’t too popular, but you also weren’t overlooked. you were middle class, not poor but also not rich. You were pretty, but never got too much attention because of it.
Little do you know, but you’re gorgeous. If you wanted to you could easily be one of the popular girls in school. But you didn’t care for it. High school was temporary, and you knew that.
And that’s exactly what Matt admires about you.
Matt is pretty introverted, and especially around freshmen year, you and his brothers would quite literally have to force him to go to school.
Now he was more calm though. Sometimes his anxiety would mess with him, but he overcame it with you and his brother's help.
For the fact that you’ve only known them since middle school, you went over to their house quite a lot. But sometimes they’d come over to yours as well.
Matt was a virgin. Most people would think that. He’s awkward in social situations and pretty shy and introverted before you get to know him.
Though, he’s had a short-term girlfriend before. Wich, at least was something.
You never dated anyone. You never cared to. You’d much rather focus on your friends and school, than some boy.
You were a virgin. It wasn’t like you never watches porn, or were innocent really. You just never got to the point of losing it to someone. Everything you’ve done was by yourself.
Wich would be fine. But you were in senior year now, and the year was almost over. Most people around you had already lost it, and you felt left out.
You were sitting at lunch, listening to Chris drone on and on about some girl he hooked up with. You purse your lips, your apatite disappearing more and more.
Suddenly Chris looks over to you. “Y/n how was your first time?”
You tense up, Taking in a harsh breath.
“Chris! You don’t just ask shit like that” Nick huffs hitting Chris on the arm.
Matt, who was sitting next to you, puts his hand on your thigh in comfort.
You squint your eyes at Chris, judging him. Or at least you try to make it look judgy.
You lean further into Matt’s side. His physical presence was keeping you grounded.
And when matt noticed just that, he takes his hand off of your thigh and instead wrapped it around your waist to pull you even closer.
“That’s none of your business.” You huff staring back at Chris.
But internally you were embarrassed because you were still a virgin.
★ ★ ★
You had planned a sleepover and study night with matt a few days ago. Essentially, he’d come to your house on Friday, and you would study. until you got tired of it and watched a movie or something.
So after school matt drove his brothers home and then drove to your house.
You got out of the car, watching as Matt reached into the backseat to grab his overnight bag.
You couldn’t help but think back to lunch break when Chris had made that comment. Chris was a player, and you knew that.
But everybody around you had lost their v card, and you just felt so left behind.
Matt huffs snapping his fingers in front of your face. You blink. He takes the keys out of your hand, grabbing your forearm to pull you to the door.
“You back with me y/n/n?” Matt ask. He looks over his shoulder as he blindly fiddles with your house keys.
“Yeah, sorry. zoned out.” You answer simply.
Matt chuckles at the flat response. He looks back at the door and finally twists it open. You two both walk in, both of you taking your shoes on.
“Hello, we’re back” Matt says loudly into the room.
You put on your house shoes and so does Matt.
You look over your shoulder at Matt with an amused expression. “Matt they already left” you huff.
“What? I thought they were gonna leave at 4?” He asks, pulling out his phone from his jean's back pocket.
It’s 4.26 pm
“Oh.” He says flatly staring at his screen.
Your parents had driven out for the weekend to your grandparents house. It was a few hours away. You hadn’t wanted to go, because for one you had already made plans for the sleepover with Matt.
And also because you had the test on Monday and you wanted to study the weekend away.
You were probably not going to anyway, but in theory..
“Yeah. oh.” You roll your eyes. Your siblings went with your parents so the house was empty. It’d be the perfect opportunity for a house party.
But you weren’t one to party, and your parents trusted you.
You and Matt walk to your kitchen. Well, it’s just matt trailing behind you.
“You want a drink?” You ask simply while you take out a Pepsi can for yourself and then put it on the counter nearest.
Matt comes up behind you. He looks over your shoulder scanning the contents of the fridge.
“Pepsi please,” he says under his breath.
You take out another can and then proceed to put it next to your can on the counter.
You slam the fridge door shut. You feel Matt turn you around before he’s hugging you. His arms wrap around your waist as he buries his face in your neck.
Matt had always been a big softie. No matter how much he loves to deny it he loves hugs and being all sappy and shit.
His own love language was acts of service though. He’d do anything for someone he likes.
And so if he finds a song that reminds him of you, he’ll tell you. If you are hungry, he’s immediately googling places to eat. If you look slightly sad or upset, even though you just have a resting bitch face, he’s immediately doing something stupid to make you laugh.
You know each other in and out.
He knows you love physical touch. So he’d make it a point to hug you at least once a day.
The day was long and draining. It was a normal boring school day.
His hug is warm, his arms feel firm around you.
And despite not having known him since kindergarten or something, it feels like you’ve known him forever.
You can’t think of any future scenario without him in your life.
“You always smell so good” he mumbles, dramatically nuzzling his face into the side of your neck.
You chuckle at the compliment.
“Come on pretty boy, we gotta study.” You hum slightly pulling away. Matt dramatically groans in response but reluctantly pulls away.
You pick up the two Pepsi cans and start to walk back to the stairs.
Matt grabs both of your school bags and carries them upstairs with him.
Once you’re in your room you pull out your desk chair and sit down.
Matt puts both your backpacks against the wall. He walks towards the bed to sit down when he spots your cat.
“Sunny” he exclaims excitedly. As much as Matt would love to say he’s a dog person. He loves your cat.
She’s and orange Persian cat. Her hair is fluffy and long. She looks like a ball of hair all curled up in your bedsheets like that.
You look over to matt and your bed. You watch as your cat looks up at him and he coos at her. He slowly sits down and starts to pet your cat.
★ ★ ★
By now two hours of studying had passed. You were both now sitting on the floor on your carpet, the study material all sprawled out across from you.
You and Matt were sitting next to each other, your cat still sleeping on your bed.
“Matt I’m bored” you whine loudly. You throw your head back dramatically and groan.
Matt looks over at you watching you as you complain. He looks mildly agitated himself.
Before he can protest and tell you that you two need to continue studying you start to put the pages and books on top of each other.
Once no books and loose papers are sprawled out anymore you sit back again.
“Y/n” he rolls his eyes and you can feel the lecture incoming.
“Matt please, I’m literally about to die of boredom.”
“You’re so dramatic” he scoffs watching you.
And for a moment You two just look at each other. Neither of you say anything. You just stare. Your face relaxes out of the pout. Matt looks over your features like he’s admiring you for the first time. Like you’re a piece of art.
You can feel yourself start to grow hot. The tension in the room skyrockets.
“You’re so pretty you know that,” Matt says under his breath. Matt leans over on his arm leaning closer to you.
Your mind is blank, and you can’t come up with an answer. You just take in the compliment.
“So fucking gorgeous” he sighs and before either of you knew it his lips are on yours.
You freeze for a second your eyes wide. But like it’s an instinct you immediately kiss back.
Matt’s hand finds its way to your jaw holding you in place, while he tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss.
You were sitting Chris-cross while Matt was sitting on his legs, sitting just a bit higher than you.
After a while of just innocently kissing, he pulls away. You two stay close though. His eyes instantly widen as if he knew he fucked up.
“Fuck- I’m sorry” he breaths out, taking his hand from your face.
You sit up. Uncrossing your legs. you shift to sit on them, fully facing a blushing Matt. And you’re sure you have a matching red hue on your cheeks as well.
“No.”
the statement catches Matt off guard. He immediately looks back over at you, confused.
As soon as he looks back over at you, you reconnect your lips with his. He sighs into the kiss. His open mouth grants you the opening you need as you swiftly slip your tongue into his mouth.
You’re a virgin. That doesn’t mean you’re fully inexperienced tho.
You two make out heavily for a while. Making out like you’re trying to feel every part of each other.
Somehow you ended up in a position with you straddling Matt, as he has his legs sprawled out.
You pull away, both of you breathing hard.
“Y/n..” Matt starts his voice shaky.
He averts his eyes, the blush on his cheeks and even deeper red than before.
“I’m a virgin” he admits under his breath.
You thought for sure that Matt wasn’t. You were. But you also never dated anyone. Matt used to have a girlfriend though. But he’d never done it?
“Like fully?” You ask out of curiosity.
But it wasn’t like you wanted to use him. You liked him for being, himself. His presence made you flustered, feeling butterflies in your stomach, and all giddy.
“Yeah” he breaths out. You watch him close his eyes as if willing his embarrassment to leave. “I’ve never, done anything..”
You pause thinking of the best way to reply. “Neither have I.” You say softly, feeling mildly flustered as well. But both of you were inexperienced. You were in the same boat.
He pauses for a second at the reply. It was obvious that he thought you at least had one body. He didn’t think you were a virgin too.
“You… you wanna try?” He questions. Now he looks a lot less embarrassed than he did just a few seconds ago.
You bite the inside of your cheek. “If you want to?”
He pulls you back in for another kiss by the back of your neck. The kiss is shorter and more reassuring.
Matt pulls out of the kiss his hands going to your waist “We can figure it out?” He asks hopefully.
You nod in agreement. You could feel Matt’s bulge through his pants with the way you were sitting. And you could feel yourself aching.
What’s the harm in trying. He’s your best friend after all. Besides you’d finally lose it, and to someone you trust.
You peck his lips briefly before you get up off of his lap.
Matt gets up off of the ground too. You pick up your cat and wake her in the process. She meows at you in annoyance before you chuckle and put her on the ground.
Matt opens the door as Sunny finally but reluctantly leaves the room.
You pull off your shirt tossing it away. Matt turns around to see you sitting on your bed with your top discarded, your bra in full view. His eyes widen.
He licks his lips, his eyes shamelessly tracing your body.
Matt comes to hover over you while you sit there. “You’re such a tease” he chuckles. He leans down to capture your lips in a brief kiss again.
It was like he couldn’t get enough of your lips.
“Get on the ground,” Matt says, his tone more demanding and rough with lust.
You obey. You slide off your bed, getting on your knees on the ground.
Matt tugs his shirt off throwing it off to the side. He unbuckles his belt and undoes the button and zipper on his jeans before finally sliding them off and tossing them away.
You curiously watch. The only men you’d seen in this position were in pornos. This though, was your best friend since middle school.
Sometimes you forgot he was an actual man with a dick and all.
And right now, seeing the imprint of his cock through his boxers felt surreal.
He starts to tug on his boxers. Your eyes go up to meet his. “Ever gotten your dick sucked?” You ask sarcastically to cover up how nervous you are.
“No.” He breaths out. While continuing to look down at you he finally pulls down his boxers. He tosses them away too.
Your eyes trail from his eyes to his lips, over his jawline and his chest, down to his dick. The dick that was rock hard and right in front of your face.
Your eyes widen, as you sit back your hands staying on your knees as you just stare.
His tip was the same red he had on his cheeks, leaking pre cum. He had a vain running up his shaft. You always thought that male body part was rather disgusting looking.
But the way Matt’s looks right now…
You don’t know if it’s just the burning lust running through your body. But you actually really wanted to taste that.
Your hand goes to cup his aching cock. He lets out a sharp sigh at the feeling. You touch it gently. You don’t move your hand and stay careful of your manicured nails.
“I don’t know what I’m doing” you breathe out. While you do, you gently start to move your hand up and down your length slowly jerking him off.
“I don’t either,” he tilts his head forwards closing his eyes for a secound. “Keep going we’ll figure it out,” Matt assures you.
His hand goes to the back of your head. His hand starts to smooth down your hair.
“C’mon baby, don’t be shy” he coos staring down at you. Matt looks down at you like he’s done this a billion times before when he claims he never had.
But you guess one of you at least had to pretend that you were understanding what you’re doing right now.
You lean forward leaving a tender kiss on the tip. You do what you think someone would do in this situation.
The way he shudders at the simple touch though, shows that he is in fact, not experienced.
In hindsight, you don’t know why you thought that he was experienced. You just assumed.
“You think this will fuck up our friendship?” You ask while still slowly jerking him off.
Matt’s breaths are slightly shaky, but he chuckles at the question.
“No. I won’t let it.” He huffs.
“So..” you pause your movements. You glance down at his dick and the way your manicured hand wraps around it. And how huge it looks.
You then look back up at him through your lashes. “How am I supposed to do this?” You ask uncertainly.
“I don’t know.” He pauses to lick his lips. The way you, his best friend, look up at him through your lashes like that, was making him even more aroused.
“Just do what you feel like. But be careful of your teeth.” He says slowly. he wasn’t even sure himself.
You raise your eyebrow at his vague response. Neither of you knew how to do it, so you might as well imitate the porn that you’ve watched.
You drag you tongue up his shaft, keeping your eyes locked on his. When you’re at the tip you lick up all the pre cum leaking. You keep eye contact with matt, and it was driving him crazy.
He lets out shaky breaths. He was clearly enjoying this.
You kiss his tip again, before wrapping your lips around his tip. You slowly swirl your tongue around it trying to see how he’ll react.
You watch him to see if he likes it or not.
“Yeah, like that,” he says under his breath staring down at you.
With his praise and encouragement, you start to take him further down your throat. Slowly and carefully.
Matt whispers praises into the quiet room. All of them go right to your core and boost your ego.
You eventually feel comfortable enough to bob your head. You were jerking off what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You were bobbing your head at a rhythmic pace and hollowing out your cheeks occasionally.
“I’m close-“ Matt whines. He actually whines.
And that sound. The power you had to make him sound like that was making you feel even more confident.
You don’t slow down your pace. You just keep going.
Until matt puts your hair in a makeshift ponytail. He tugs on it hard, to keep you still. He starts at a gentle but fast pace.
You feel your eyes fog up. The constant hit to the back of your throat makes you gag slightly.
His pace starts to become more and more sloppy as the seconds pass though.
You feel his dick hit the back of your throat before you suddenly feel your mouth be filled.
You feel his sticky load shoot down your throat. He pants, pulling at your hair to pull you off.
You swallowed what you could. But still, you feel a bit of it roll down your chin.
“Sh, sorry no don’t cry.” He immediately panics cupping your face in his hands. He looks down at you, worried. As if he thinks he went too far.
He wipes away the tears. The tears that you hadn’t even noticed had fallen.
Sighing, you can’t help the smile that forms on your face. “I’m okay Matty” you breathe out softly. His facial expression visibly relaxes at the statement.
“I’m sorry if that was too hard”
“It wasn’t, you’re good.” You stand up.
You immediately go to undo your own jeans. You slip out of them, throwing them off to the side.
His eyes roam over your body. The air is thick, both of your bodies pulsing with pure lust and awe.
You watch as his half-hard dick gets hard again.
You chuckle at the reaction. You teasingly take your bra off. And once you unclasp it, it’s Thrown across the room to the rest of your clothes.
His eyes trail your body again. He can’t help himself at the way your boobs look. He’s always admired you from afar. He never thought he’d ever be able to see you like this.
Sure he had imagined you two together like this before, but he never thought he’d actually get to see it. Besides, the real thing, the euphoria, it all felt better than he could’ve ever thought.
“So pretty, baby” he sighs. His hand goes to your chest. you could tell he’d never done this before just by the way he touched you like you were fragile.
But neither of you knowing what you were doing only made this more thrilling.
His hands go to your waist as he pushes you back onto your bed. He hovers over you for a moment, before crashing his lips back onto yours.
You kiss back, but you mostly let him take the lead. After he breaks the kiss, You feel him start to trail his kisses down your jawline and neck, while needing your breast in his hand.
He sits up again putting his other hand on your chest and needing it too, watching the way his hands look wrapped around your tits.
He sighs getting off of you and between your legs.
“Tell me when it feels good, sweetheart, alright?” He hums. He pulls at your panties, taking them off and half-heartedly throwing them away.
His eyes stay locked on your pussy. He admires it, like it’s the first time he’s seen it, which it is.
He puts your legs over his shoulders to give himself a better angle. He uses his middle finger to brush through your folds experimentally, watching you in awe.
You sigh at the contact on your folds. You’ve never been touched there. But Matt’s touch felt so incredibly comforting and good.
Your core was aching, pulsing around nothing. And Matt watched.
After a moment he kissed just above your clit. Kissing a trail down to your clit, before harshly starting to suck on it.
Your moan tears through the room. You were startled by how bold and confident he acted.
He groans into your core at your taste on his tongue. The groan sends pleasure coursing through you and chills down your spine.
“Fuck- matt” you whine. Your thighs clench around his head trying to get him closer. Your hand finds its way to his hair tugging on it slightly.
Your other hand berries in the sheets, trying to find something to hold onto. “God- have you done this before?” You ask rhetorically not expecting an answer.
He licks a stripe up your folds and starts to move his tongue against your sensitive nub. You whine and he chuckles.
“No.” He mumbles against you in answer. You throw your head back in pleasure your eyes briefly closing.
You feel Matt pull at you, tilting his head slightly for a deeper angle.
He was eating you out like you were his last meal. But beyond that also like this would be the only time he got to taste your sweet juices.
“Matt, fuck yeah- just like that.” You keep praising him. You notice how it boosts his confidence and in turn, makes this even more pleasurable for you.
You feel a finger brush at your cunt. Before you feel it slide in. Your hand immediately tugs harder at his hair. Your back arches slightly as you throw your head back in pleasure.
He thrusts his middle finger in and out of your tight cunt. He was turning his hand slightly, twisting it and turning it to get a feel for your body and how you react. And to also make you loosen up a bit.
You whine in discomfort. Matt detaches his lips from your clit still hovering close though.
“You okay sweetheart?” He says lowly under his breath.
Your moaning was loud and echoing through the room.
You sit up in your forearms staring down at him and the way he was fingering you like that. Watching the way his finger disappeared in your tight cunt.
“I’m good”
The words come up a bit slurred. The pleasure of him finger fucking you like that, was making your head feel all fuzzy.
“Never fingered yourself, baby?” He asks teasingly. You watch him and the way he steadies himself on his other arm.
He readjusts his finger, curling it up roughly hitting your sweet spot right on.
The touch sends shivers of pleasure down your spine making you shut your eyes and throw your head back.
“Matt, matt-“ you chant his name like a prayer. It’s the only thing you can think of. Him. And only him. That’s all that’s relevant right now.
He slips his second finger into your soaked core with ease. You barely even notice the second finger added. Until he starts to scissor them apart to stretch your insides even further.
He keeps thrusting his fingers in and out of you harshly. Curling them at just the right spots to make your vision blur.
You lay back down fully, as he is now sitting up more.
“Yeah pretty girl, that feel good?” He asks. Your back arches and your mouth falls open in a silent moan.
He leans up further, your legs fall from his shoulders as he hovers over your lower body. He puts his whole hand on your lower stomach applying gentle pressure on it to keep you down on the bed.
“I’m close-“ you breathe out between loud moans.
“good girl, come for me.” You shudder at the pet name. Your thighs shake slightly at the burning intensity of his gaze and the way his fingers curl at just the right spots.
You squirm under his gaze. And suddenly you feel the intense knot in your stomach snap. You feel him continue to finger fuck you, while your entire body feels burning hot.
You feel so warm and overwhelmed by the euphoria flowing through your veins. It feels better than any high you have ever experienced. Not that you’ve experienced a lot.
Once you ride out your high you breathe hard. Your eyes stay closed as you lay back on your bed.
Matt gently pulls out his fingers, making you whine at the loss of contact.
He lays down on your duvet next to you, turns to his side, and watches you.
You also turn to face him after a moment. You two just look at each other.
Matt looks at you with such intense adoration and love, it’s crazy.
“You actually wanna loose your virginity now?” He asks gently. Ignoring the fact that he was rock-hard.
You two so far had only given each other pleasure, but you hadn’t lost your virginity yet.
“Yes” you breathe out. You feel ready now more than you ever have before. Especially if you get to lose it to matt.
He licks his lips looking over your face.
“I don’t have a condom.” He says simply looking back at you. He knew you weren’t on the pill. He’d be fine doing it some other day.
“That’s fine.” You say though , catching him off guard. How desperate do you have to be to let him raw dog it?
“You’re not on the pill tho?” He questions.
“I’m not” you confirm simply. He raises an eyebrow waiting for further explanation. “You can pull out or something.” You shrug.
“That sounds tacky.” He huffs a laugh at how ridiculous that sounds.
“Doesn’t matter, we’ll deal with that tomorrow morning. Just please fuck me?”
You think he’s going to refuse Until he suddenly pulls you on top of him. You sit on his torso for a moment before you get the memo.
“You want me to ride you?” You ask slowly.
“If you’re not comfortable we can switch?” He offers. But why would you decline to ride him?
You shake your head no, before starting to slide down on his torso feeling his length glide between your soaked folds.
“Can’t be that hard?” You question rather skeptically.
In your opinion matt didn’t seem small. Though you had nothing to compare it to. All the girls in porn seemed to struggle with something that looked as big as Matt.
So either this would be really hard or easy for you. But either way, you wanted to try.
“You’re okay, we’ll go slow” he chuckles at your nervousness but is secretly just as scared. “And I’ll help you.” He assures.
You lift yourself hovering over his crotch area. You take in a harsh breath grabbing his dick and hovering over it.
Matt’s hand goes to it too holding it up. While your hand goes to your cunt as you gently and slowly sink down on it.
You both moan at the contact. Getting in the tip was hard. But once that was in you felt like you could easily slide down the rest of it, not that it wouldn’t hurt.
Matt’s free hand goes to your waist, guiding you like he said he would.
“Doing so good, princess.” You whine at the praise, but ultimately slowly skink down further..
Matt keeps your movements steady as you keep doing your thing. His second hand also goes to your waist using it to steady your movements further.
“Fuck so big.” You moan. Your thighs tense as you pull it out slightly. You could feel the stretch burn.
“It’s okay sweetheart. you only got a couple inches left.” He assures you as he starts guiding you back lower on him. Your cunt was aching around him harshly.
“Fuck-“ you sigh. You can’t help yourself when you take one of his hands from your waist and interlock your hands. You need the moral support.
“Such a good girl,” Matt says as you start to gently bounce on what you have fit so far.
He was occasionally groaning. Your moans filled the room, the air in the room staying hot.
He squeezes your hand. You close your eyes at the mixture of pleasure and pain. When you close your eyes he lets his eyes wander down to where your bodies meet.
He’d never done this and this felt so incredibly good. The sight alone could make him come right then and there.
Matt wasn’t dumb, he knew he had quite the dick. It wasn’t small by any means. And he knew that. It was amusing Watching you struggle with what you had, knowing there were at least still 3 more inches to go.
“You okay?” He asks again just to make sure you are okay.
The pain had subsided and you felt the pleasure. Sure you could take more but you were nervous to. This wasn’t as easy as it looked or as You thought it’d be.
“I’m okay” you sigh. You keep yourself gently and slowly bouncing on the upper half of the length of his cock.
Matt knows you really well. And matt just knows you can take more than that, Despite being a virgin himself. It was just a gut feeling. “Baby, I’m gonna need you to bear with me alright?”
Before you can respond, his hand on your waist tightens, and he squeezes your hand that’s intertwined with his. He rams you down on his dick harshly, making you take it as much as you physically could.
Your legs tense up at the harsh treatment. Your eyes close as a moan is ripped out your lungs. You clench so unbelievably tight around him. And just the sight of himself buried so deep inside of you could have him come at the spot.
He groans at the feeling of it as well. “Good-“ he breathes out. “Such a good girl.”
He keeps his hand intertwined with yours for moral support. His hand trails from your waist over your side soothingly.
You sigh at the feeling of him being completely in you. It’s a foreign feeling. It just feels so full.
“I feel so fucking stuffed” you groan dramatically. You let your head hang forward your mouth open in a silent moan.
“Oh, you’re so gonna be stuffed” he huffs. And somehow, even though pregnancy and birth scares the hell out of you, this type of dirty talk was extremely hot to you.
You huff in response starting to grind into him. You grind on his dick, his Hand on your hips helping you as you slowly try to get used to the size.
You sigh pulling all of your hair back out of your face again. You readjust your legs, taking your hand out of Matt’s. You shift, leaning on your arms to lean back slightly.
You start to carefully ride him your moans and whines still audible. Your head is thrown back in pleasure.
Matt watches the way your body moves in awe. Groaning every so often when you clench around him.
His hand goes to rest over your lower stomach, his thumb goes to rub on your clit gently. “Matt.” You gasp at the sudden added pleasure.
You can’t help yourself when you lean back forward. You just really want to see Matt’s face while you ride him.
“So good for me baby, keep going” he encourages. And with his words, you readjust again now pulling out more and ramming yourself back down.
You feel the knot in your stomach get tighter. You feel really good riding him like this, listening to his mumbles of praise and encouragement.
You continue to bounce on him, now chasing your high. And the harsher you slam yourself down the louder you and matt get. The room is filled with your noises as well as skin clapping loudly, and your lewd wetness.
After a few seconds you feel the knot snap. You lean over him, your arms on either side of his head catching you. Your high feels incredible, the heat washing over you like a wave.
Matt’s hand on your waist gets bruisingly harsh. He holds you in place while he thrusts up into you. You whine at the way he fucks you through your high. He was chasing his own now.
“Where do you want it.” His breath is harsh. He choked out the words in his lust-filled voice. He wasn’t asking, he was demanding to know.
“Inside.” You grit out. You bite your lip harshly, feeling your high subside and overstimulation slowly take over.
Matt grunts an agreement and you feel his thrusts get more sloppy and harsh. Until he gives you one last thrust, finally stopping his movements. He pulls you down to sit on him while spurts of his release shoot up into you.
You were pulsing around him, practically milking him for all he’s got. “Such a good girl” matt breathes out. One of his hands goes to trail over your stomach slightly.
He feels the slight bulge in your stomach from his sheer size.
The idea that this is how you make children is crazy to you. And the fact that you just did that with your best friend.
“How’re you feeling?” He asks softly staring up at you lovingly.
“Warm” you respond truthfully. His sticky seed inside of you makes your core feel all warm, along with the fact that you haven’t gotten off of it yet.
“Do you regret it?” He asks gently. After all, you two were best friends, and he had just lost his virginity to you and also taken yours.
Despite being terrified of the fact that you let him raw dog this, you didn’t regret it. In fact, you felt content, you love matt dearly.
“No” you don’t hesitate. You never realized how much you love Matt. He was just always there with you, he was always your best friend. You couldn’t imagine a future without him.
“You’re paying for the plan b pill tho” you chuckle.
He huffs a laugh. you carefully lift yourself off of him feeling your combined juices leak. You can see Matt watching, his eyes focused on your pussy. Watching the way you’re filled to the brim.
You kneel next to him, as you watch him sit up. “Come on sweetheart let’s get you cleaned up.”
Masterlist
A/N: I know this isn’t the most original idea, but I haven’t read any ffs where both of them are virgins. But if there is one that’s similar to mine, just know it was not intentional. In that case, If someone gives me the @ I can credit them.
Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturnioloos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangepepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo
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bluebeary-jay · 8 months
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Damage done
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Pre/No-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader
Summary: during a fight with Joel, he unknowingly sends you into a panic attack caused by your previous experiences. he deeply regrets it. (based on this wonderful ask!)
Tags: heavy ANGST, hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending (there's also fluff), established relationship, petnames, soft!Joel (he's trying his best fr 🥺). Several years pre outbreak. please read the warnings carefully
Warnings: fighting, talk and mention about previous abusive relationship, panic attack, emotional distress, self-destructive thoughts
Word count: 4K
A/N: i wrote it partially based on experiences with my own panic attacks, but i know everyone's is different. if there's a warning i missed, please let me know. also i want this man to take care of me so much 😢 anyway, stay safe, darlings, and as always: happy reading and i hope you'll enjoy!! 💕 comments and feedback are greatly appreciated 😌
It had been a rough couple of weeks. Things at your work were rocky to say the least, what with your boss firing several people every week and cutting your salary. Joel didn’t have it much better – from what you understood, two clients suddenly canceled their order, and Tommy got himself thrown into jail, again, breaking his longest record to date. On top of that, little Sarah went down with some kind of flu that was raging in schools recently, and for the last two weeks one of you had to be home with her almost all the time.
So it was probably no wonder that the tension and stress became too much at one point, and you both snapped.
It was about the play at Sarah’s school.
“You promised her, Joel! She was talking about it for the entire week.”
“It’s not my fault we have to go out of town on this date,” he answered through clenched teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose and not looking up at you. “I tried to reschedule, but the commissioning party refused. I can’t help it, for fuck’s sake.”
You were glad Sarah wasn’t home right now to listen to your fight. You dropped her off earlier at her friend’s house because she wanted to practice lines for the play they were doing next week. The play that Joel was apparently planning to miss.
You adored Joel – god, you loved him with all that you had – but he could be so stubborn sometimes, it was driving you up the fricking wall.
“It’s your kid, Joel–”
“Yeah, it’s my kid!” he raised his voice, only now lifting his head. His stare was cold and hard, so unlike how he usually looked at you. “Not yours.”
“Are you kidding me?!” you shouted, hurt by his words and the tone he used. “I’ve been taking care of her, loving her– She is like a daughter to me!”
“But still not yours,” he repeated harshly. That was a low blow, especially when he told you so many times that you might not be Sarah’s biological mother, but it’s obvious you love her like she’s your own blood.
“You’re only saying that ‘cause you know I’m right,” you snarled angrily, and Joel huffed a humorless laugh.
“Of course. You always know better, dont’cha?” He stood up, towering over you, but you didn’t back down. If anything, it only made you more mad, as if he was doing this to intimidate you. “I’m sorry I’m such a terrible father in your eyes, but I have to think about earning money. Especially since it’s only a matter of time ‘till that asshole boss of yours will fire you, too.”
“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?! You really think so lowly of me to say it won’t be long until I get fired?”
“I don’t– Christ, you’re puttin’ words in my mouth again.”
“Again. Of course.” You spat out and took your sweatshirt from the couch, done with him and this conversation. “I’m going to my home,” you told him dryly. Joel’s nostrils flared and he took a step forward.
“No, you’re not.”
“Fuckin’ watch me,” you muttered under your breath, but loud enough for him to hear.
“We are not finished!!” Joel screamed, his booming voice echoing throughout the house.
It felt like a slap. In one second you froze, all your muscles seized up and a feeling of coldness gripped your heart and throat, sending panic flooding your veins. The sweatshirt you were holding slipped out from your stiff fingers.
Joel has never raised his voice at you like that. Never with such anger and fury. There was a bite to his tone that you couldn’t explain, but which you knew very well – the telltale sign that you went too far, and the other person’s patience was at an end, that now you were going to pay for it.
Your previous boyfriend taught you what it means. It meant bruises and split lips, and screaming when you started crying…
Joel noticed the shift in your behavior right away, and his anger immediately ebbed, replaced by confusion and concern.
“Darlin’?” he murmured the pet name, though it rolled off his tongue heavily and with difficulty.
He was still furious at you and your refusal to understand what he was going through, but it all died down when he saw how wide, how empty your eyes were. Your knees buckled, and you looked like you could fall down at any moment.
Joel didn’t have any idea what was happening with you – but knew that whatever it was, it was his fault.
You, in the meantime, felt like you couldn’t breathe. The man in front of you – you weren’t even sure anymore who that was – took a step forward with his hand lifted, and you quickly backed away, stumbling in the process.
“No! N-no, no, please, I’m sorry–” you started blabbering and sobbing, wrapping one arm around your middle to protect all the main internal organs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”
“No, you didn’t…”
“Please… I’m sorry, I swear,” you cried, trembling at this point, but not daring to escape the room. “I’ll be better, just don’t… Please, don’t…”
Joel’s heart broke when he saw you bursting into tears and trying to make yourself as small as possible. All his anger disappeared in a cloud of smoke, replaced by the overpowering need to comfort the girl he loved.
But you seemed so scared when he wanted to come closer… And he didn’t know how to proceed.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he repeated in an even softer tone, his eyebrows scrunching in worry. “Sweetheart… M’not gonna hurt you.”
He took another slow step forward, but that seemed to already be too much, because the trembling intensified and you practically slumped against the wall, one arm around your stomach, and the other squeezing your throat tightly. Joel feared to know the reason why you would do that to yourself.
“Stop, plea– I can’t– I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
“No, it’s okay, my baby, it’s alright…”
He fell down to his knees next to you and reached to take you in his arms, but you started shaking your head violently, backing away and squirming out of his reach.
“No, no, please, I’m sorry! Don’t– don’t touch me!!”
A bile rose up in his throat, and he retreated his hands, holding them low in front of him to show he’s not going to do anything.
“It’s alright, babygirl,” he muttered chokingly, feeling completely helpless and lost about what to do. “You… you’re safe.”
You were crying uncontrollably now, though it seemed like you tried to stifle the never-ending sobs and tears flowing out of your eyes, in result making your entire body shake. You flinched – actually flinched – when Joel opened his mouth, and your fingers around your throat tightened their grip.
“No,” Joel said decisively, breaking your wish and grabbing your wrists, moving them away from your neck where red crescents started to form. “Baby, please, don’t.”
“Let go!!” It was hard to distinguish the words from between your cries, but the message your body language was conveying was clear as day. “No, don’t… me…” You sobbed again, quickly weakening despite your efforts. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
“Come ‘ere,” Joel whispered in a voice full of pain, carefully shifting closer and wrapping his arms around you, though being careful not to make you feel too crowded or trapped. “Shhh… it’s Joel, darlin’, m’here.”
Surprisingly, you let him hold you – maybe it was just because you didn’t have strength to resist and fight back anymore, Joel thought, but maybe you recognized him. Maybe it was both. But the tears didn’t stop. No matter how gently he stroked your back or whispered reassuring words, you couldn’t seem to stop crying.
Several times in the next couple of minutes you tried to grasp your neck or arm again, but every time he delicately, though firmly, moved them away. You still babbled half-intelligible apologies and pleas, and each time your voice broke or hitched on another fearful word, Joel’s heart was shattering into a million pieces all over again.
“I’m sorry…” you sobbed again, trembling in his arms. “I’m sorry, don’t hurt me, p-please–...”
“My darlin’...” Joel held you closer and more securely in his arms, rocking you back and forth. “Sweetheart, my sweet, sweet girl… I’m never gonna hurt you, I swear.” He planted soft, delicate kisses on your hair. Even though he wanted to hug you tightly, to show you how much he loves and cares about you, he restrained himself and tried to keep his touch as gentle as possible. “I swear, my babygirl, m’sorry, so sorry for screamin’... Didn’t mean to.”
You were still crying, albeit weaker now, in his arms, clinging to him like your life depended on it. Joel could feel your nails digging themselves into the skin of his back, but it was the furthest thing on his mind – hell, he could start bleeding and still it wouldn’t be as important as comforting you at this moment. Better him than you.
“I love you s’much, my babygirl, my life,” Joel continued murmuring into the top of your head, feeling close to crying himself when your tears seemingly couldn’t stop flowing. “M’so sorry. I won’t ever hurt you like that again, I swear…”
His words, though full of love and compassion, rolled off you like water off a duck’s back, and you still couldn’t locate yourself, couldn’t tether your being to this world and make sense of the difference between what you knew should happen, and what was actually happening.
Your whole body was hurting, yes, but it wasn’t the pain of being repeatedly hit. You could barely hear your own cries, but it wasn’t because of vicious and cruel words being thrown at you. You knew it was Joel you were clinging to, and he never hurt you in this way, but… but you also were never so angry at each other. You never fought like this – and experience taught you that crossing that invisible line will carry certain consequences.
You weren’t angry now. You were scared. And confused.
“Joel,” you whimpered between gasps, struggling to breathe through your rapid sobs. “I’m sorry. Please, don’t– don’t go.”
“M’not leavin’ ya, babygirl.” He spoke into your hair, closing his eyes. “M’not goin’ anywhere.”
You were calming down a little now, the sobs wrecking your body and breaking Joel’s heart dying down, though you were still shivering. Joel continued to hold and soothe you the best he could.
And wondered who must’ve hurt his darling so much that you’d react so badly.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered after a while, sniffling into Joel’s chest, but trying not to get snots on his shirt. Joel sighed sadly, but his hold on you just tightened.
“No, babygirl, my darlin’...” He pressed his lips to your hairline, stroking your back with his other hand. “You have nothin’ to be sorry for, I swear. It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” you whimpered pitifully, unable to stop another wave of tears from falling. “I’m sorry I reacted like that. I know… Joel, I know you won’t hurt me. Baby, please.” You took his head in your hands, searching his eyes with fear painted across your face. “I’m so sorry, wasn’t thinking and…”
“Hey. Love, it’s fine.” He placed his own hands on your cheeks, stroking lightly your damp skin with his thumbs. “Don’t say that. M’not angry at you and would never be because of that. It’s… it’s okay.” He petted your hair, trying to relax for your sake, but his chest remained tight. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”
You nodded weakly, though you weren’t sure if you believed him. Joel swallowed heavily and nodded after a while, too.
“Okay. I… I’ll run you a bath,” he whispered, but you held his hand tighter and shook your head with tears gathering in your eyes again.
“No, no! Just s-stay with me, please.”
Joel took your face in his hands, but you closed your eyes, feeling too vulnerable and exhausted to even try to maintain eye contact.
“I’m here, baby. C’mon, just hold onto me.”
He waited until your arms were around his neck before slowly standing up and tucking you securely in his arms. You hid your wet face in the crook of Joel’s neck, breathing in his soothing smell and trying to calm your breathing, which you still found difficult.
Neither of you said anything when he took you to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet seat and started to fill the bathtub with water and soothing oils. You just watched him, wiping your nose every once in a while.
Still remaining silent, Joel extended his hand and helped you stand up. Then, almost with fearful hesitation, he touched the hem of your shirt, sending you a questioning look. You just nodded, not having strength to undress yourself, and lifted your arms, letting him take your clothes off.
You didn’t let go of his hand even after he guided you to sit in the tub. You couldn’t bear being alone with your thoughts right now, and Joel, being as wonderful of a man as he was, stayed by your side as the warmth from the water seeped through your tired bones.
Another several minutes passed before he finally asked the question that was gnawing at him since the very beginning. You must’ve subconsciously known it was coming, cause it didn’t even surprise you.
“Who was it?” he asked quietly. His hand was still caressing your palm with the gentlest of touches, but his eyes were like ice, full of hidden rage and hatred. “Who did this to you, darlin’?”
You wrapped your arms around yourself, not sure whether to answer or not. Ever since you got to know him, Joel has been nothing but kind and understanding, never pressuring you into doing or saying something you didn’t want… but you had a feeling he wasn’t going to let the matter drop.
And honestly, you were afraid to tell him. To admit how your previous relationship looked and what exactly happened to make you act so strongly about something so small. Because… what if he’ll realize how broken you are, how much effort it’d take to put up with you, and he’ll leave? Even if he was willing to take care of you, it was really unlikely that he’d stay – even if he says that now.
You were doing good until today. You managed to hide the issues you had with yourself and all the pain you carried inside, never letting Joel know that something was wrong with you. But now he… he will…
You didn’t want him to leave. He made your life so much better and you loved him to pieces with all your heart, as weak and broken as it was.
You couldn’t lose him.
“Oh, baby…” Joel’s hands cupped your cheeks so carefully and lovingly that you almost started weeping again. “M’not goin’ anywhere. I love ya so much. You’re never gonna lose me.”
You didn’t realize you said those words out loud, but even so, somehow his affirmations didn’t make you feel any better. You wanted them to comfort you, but if anything, they just made you feel sick.
“I’m afraid you’re gonna leave someday,” you whispered hoarsely, keeping your eyes on the slowly disappearing bubbles. “I know I’m being selfish, but I don’t want you to. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Joel. I…” Tears spilled from your eyes again and you shook your head. “I know I’m too much. And… and broken. And I know it sounds like I wanna guilt-trip you, but I’m not, I’m just–” You choked on a sob, and wrapped your arms tighter around yourself, hugging your knees to your chest. “I don’t– don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Sweetheart, look at me, please.” Joel’s hands were rough to the touch, but so incredibly gentle when they guided you to meet his eyes, and a big pit formed in your stomach when you saw how they shone. He was on the verge of tears, too. “Don’t say things like that. Nothin’ is wrong with you. Who…” He sighed again. “Who made you believe such things?”
You didn’t answer at first, but Joel kept staring at you, and – finally – you relented.
“My previous boyfriend. The one I didn’t want to talk about. He– Look, I know he was a horrible person.” You let out a short laugh, but without any joy – or emotions altogether – in it. “And I hate him so much, but he… he was right. About some things.”
“He’s not.” Joel didn’t back down, feeling despair growing inside his chest as he saw the girl he adored with his whole heart put herself down like that. “You’re… fuck, you’re perfect, darlin’, and you didn’t deserve to be treated or talked to this way. M’so sorry it happened to you.”
He brushed some of your hair to the back and sighed silently. He seemed so lost and sad, it made you feel even worse.
“What can I do?”
That stopped the train of your thoughts, and you looked up.
“What?”
“What can I do?” he repeated softly. “To prove t’you that I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
Your lips parted, and you were unsure what to say. Joel took your hand in his, delicately tracing patterns on the back of it.
“Babygirl, listen to me. You’re the most precious thing t’me. I don’t care what this asshole told you, but… but none of this is true. And it’s not gonna drive me away from you. Nothin’ is gonna make me leave,” he repeated more firmly, never taking his eyes off you. “Because I love you. More than anythin’ else in the world”
Joel sounded so sincere and desperate, tugging at your heartstrings with his gentle, sad eyes and loving words. The water became cool some time ago, but your insides felt like they were on fire – as if the next breath you were about to take would be your last.
“I’m sorry for everything I said.” You took a shaky breath, trying to keep your voice steady. “I don’t think you’re a bad father. I think you’re the best and most amazing dad Sarah could ever ask for. I didn’t want…” You sniffed and your shoulders started to shake again with silent cries. “I didn’t want to hurt you, I’m so sorry, I didn’t–”
The sob that you tried to stop with all your might suddenly escaped you, and Joel’s forehead scrunched in worry. He pulled you closer, leaning over the edge of the bathtub. Neither of you concerned yourself with water dripping off your skin, only feeling relieved from each other’s closeness.
“I know, babygirl. M’not mad.” Joel left a lingering kiss on your tearstained cheek, and then a second one on your forehead. “I’m sorry, too. For how I acted and for–” he sighed heavily into your shoulder, “for shouting at ya.”
“You couldn’t have known,” you mumbled, but he shook his head.
“That’s no excuse. I shouldn’t ‘ave done it in the first place.” He relaxed in your arms, and somehow it made your muscles less tense, too. “I’ll see what I can do about that job. So that I can see Sarah’s play.”
You nodded and let your eyelids drop, giving in to the feeling of calm and security that always came with being with Joel.
“Can I sleep here tonight?” you asked quietly. You still were a little afraid that he’s going to turn you down after what happened, but you really didn’t want to stay alone. “With you?”
“‘Course you can. D’ya want to go now?”
You nodded again. Not bathing seemed like a big waste of water, but you didn’t feel strong enough to actually wash your body. And Joel didn’t pressure you – he just bent over and wrapped his strong arms around you, practically pulling you out of the tub by himself.
His clothes were completely soaked when he put you down and reached for the fluffiest towel you had, wrapping it around you like a little cocoon. He got rid of his wet shirt, kissed your head gently and, without a word, scooped you up into his arms again.
“I can stand,” you offered when he started walking towards the bedroom, forcing you to wrap your hands around his neck for support.
“I want to take care of you.”
“But your back pains…”
“I’m not that old yet, sweetheart,” he answered with a half-smile, slowing down and gazing into your eyes softly. “Let me take care of you.”
You brushed his cheek with your fingertips tenderly, eyes flickering across his face. “But you’re always taking care of everyone, Joel.”
His throat bobbed and he almost immediately looked away. It was clear what he was thinking – that according to himself, he wasn’t doing a good enough job. Because you got hurt. Because he was the one who unintentionally hurt you and sent you into a panic attack.
He was silent when he put you down on the bed with care, turning around to fetch one of his shirts from the closet. During this whole time you didn’t say anything, either. Your mind was still a little closed off from when you tried to separate yourself from the painful memories that started to haunt you, and despite Joel’s efforts, it was still difficult to move past the experience.
But your head snapped up when Joel, after helping you put the shirt on, knelt in front of you, took your hand in his and leaned forward to kiss your knee gently.
“M’sorry,” Joel whispered with pain tinging his deep voice. “I’m sorry for sayin’ all those things about you and Sarah. I know you love her.” He pressed his lips to your knee again, and lifted his head, revealing how misty his own eyes were, which in turn made your heart ache even more. “My sweet girl. I swear I won’t ever hurt you again.”
“You didn’t hurt me,” you answered quietly, but Joel shook his head and took a deep breath.
“What can I do?” he repeated his question from earlier, and this time you knew exactly what you needed him for.
“Can you… can you hold me?”
Without missing a beat, Joel raised from his position and enveloped you in his embrace, making you feel safe and protected like never before. You sighed heavily, breathing in his scent and feeling like just by touching you with such love that only he was capable of, he helped you to lift some invisible load from your shoulders.
Despite the headache from all the crying and your chest still tightening with every shallow breath you took, you felt a little better now. You didn’t feel alone.
You knew you were safe with Joel.
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It took some time for you to fall asleep, but even when you did, Joel could not find peace in the silky darkness of the evening.
Before you dozed off, Joel vowed again and again how much you mean to him, how you and Sarah are the best things that ever happened to him, and how he’ll never let anything happen to any of you – and he could clearly see that you believed his every word, and that you weren’t mad at him. You weren’t flinching when he rocked you back and forth, or later when he pressed small kisses to your forehead.
But you still were quiet and your face miserable, and several times Joel tucked you in closer to himself when he felt you shaking and sniffing. There wasn’t anything else he could do but hold you and whisper soothing promises into your hair. Once your eyelids started to drop, he began humming a familiar melody he knew you liked, and you nuzzled your face into his neck, curling up in his embrace.
And you whispered ‘I love you’ before you drifted off to an uneasy sleep in his arms. And before he could even answer, you thanked him for loving you.
When he heard it, he had to keep himself from breaking down with the last bit of his strength.
“You mean everythin’ to me, love. Everythin’,” he murmured after a couple of seconds, not even knowing if you were still awake. The guilt in his chest made it hard to breathe, but he pushed through it, and then he softly kissed your forehead, making a promise to himself.
He will find time to go to Sarah’s play with you. And he’ll make it right.
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thebimbopalace · 9 months
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DRUNK ‘N NASTY
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ੈ✩‧₊˚toji fushiguro x f!reader
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ wc: 2.4k
✧.*blurb: After coming home tipsy from a night out with your girlfriends you needed Toji badly. Whatever you need, Toji is willing to give it to you. Especially if what you need is his cock.
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ | established relationship, drunk sex (reader is tipsy), raw sex, alcohol mentioned, petnames (baby, sweetheart, princess, pretty girl), degradation (slut, whore), oral (m. receiving), fingering, cowgirl position, dirty talk, nipple play, use of good girl, spanking (ass, thigh), daddy kink (sry i had to), choking (fem. receiving)
a/n: this is my first time writing a full fic, feel free to comment feedback on how i can improve for future fics or comment your thoughts on this fic. Obviously there is smut under the cut so if you are under 18+/an ageless blog DO NOT interact or be blocked!!
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“Toji”
Nothing.
“Toji, wake up” you say as you tap your boyfriend on his shoulder. Every time you went out with your girlfriends you always had a great time and plenty of drinks.
When you finally came home you slipped your heels off at the front door, stumbling your way upstairs. Opening your shared bedroom door, you see Toji sleeping peacefully on his stomach with the blanket pulled up over his body leaving more than half of his muscular back exposed. The sight of it rising in sync with his breaths made your body heat with arousal.
Whenever you drank the strong liquid, it always made its way to your cunt leaving you a horny mess. A mess that Toji was always willing to clean up. “Baby, please wake up” you whine making the man next to you stir. Finally, Toji wakes and turns over on his back with one arm behind his head and the other reaching for you, while staring at you with sleepy eyes.
You almost feel bad for waking him up, just so he can fuck you. Almost.
“You’re home,” he said while rubbing soothing circles on your thigh. “Did you have fun sweetheart?” His voice sounds rougher since he’s coming out of sleep. The sound of it making you rub your thighs together, something Toji took notice of. “I did,” you say as you lean over and start kissing down his neck. “Missed you Toji,” you say in between the kisses you were trailing down his neck leading to his chest. His chuckle turns into a groan when you begin playing with his nipples and softly moving your hands over his chest and abs.
Toji’s cock begins to harden in his sweatpants at your movements. He knew that when you went out with your friends, you would come home tipsy and begging for him to fill you up with his big cock. This time was no different, except for the fact that he wanted to catch up on some sleep since he just came back from a work trip, which also feeds into your need for a fuck. But, seeing you all needy and doe eyed made his need for sleep go away.
With you still placing kisses on his neck and chest, he takes his hand and gently cups the nape of your neck then guides your mouth onto his. The minute your soft lips met his slightly chapped ones you instantly melted into the feeling. You tasted like vodka and… strawberry, from your lipgloss Toji thinks. The kiss started slow and gentle, but the sounds you were making drove Toji crazy causing him to devour you like a man starved. You slung your leg over him and made your way onto his lap so that your clothed cunt was on top of his bulge.
Now seated on his lap, you began to grind down on him making the man groan into your mouth. Toji raised his hand and slapped your ass making you gasp, which made it easier for him to slip his tongue into your mouth. “Mmmm,” you whined making the man part from your lips. “What is it, baby?” He asked looking up at you. “I need you Toji.” The man below you looked at you with enough lust in his eyes to make your skin feel like it was on fire. “Need what, princess?” You knew what he was doing. Toji loved hearing you beg and tell him all the dirty things you wanted him to do to you.
“Need you to fuck me.” You took his hand and placed his middle and ring fingers into your mouth and began sucking on them. The sight made Toji’s cock twitch in his pants. “Yeah?” He chuckled. “Uh huh,” you mumbled while shaking your head up and down for further confirmation. Toji snaked his other hand around you giving you light teasing smacks on your ass making your cunt clench around nothing.
“You’re such a needy little slut for me aren’t you?” Toji asked. “Jus’ for you” you answered while his fingers still filled your mouth. “That’s right baby. Now I need you to get my cock nice and wet so I can fill that pretty pussy. Can you do that for me princess?” Toji asked while guiding you off his lap and placing you right in front of his clothed dick straining in his sweats. “Yes.”
Overcome by the sudden need to feel him in your mouth you pull off his sweats first, followed by his boxers causing his cock to spring out and tap on his lower abdomen. Taking your hand, you lifted his cock and let your spit drip onto the tip. Using your hand, you spread the spit onto his cock jerking him off before placing the head of it into your mouth. Toji moaned at the feeling of your hot mouth sucking his sensitive cock head. It wasn’t long before you got into a rhythm and began enthusiastically sucking him off.
“So good princess f-fuck.” “Keep going just like that.” Toji moaned while putting his hand on the back of your head to encourage you further. Your movements were sloppy but, the look in your eyes and the smile you had on your face while sucking on his balls was enough to make him cum in your mouth. But Toji didn’t want that to happen. He took the hand that was on your head and threaded it through your hair pulling your mouth off of his cock. You gave him a confused look to which he said, “if I’m gonna cum it's gonna be inside you, not in your mouth.”
Toji took your hand making you crawl onto his lap. He gently pushed you back so you were sitting on his thighs, exposing your panty covered pussy to him. He guided his thumb along the obvious wet spot there humming in approval. “Did sucking my cock make you this wet baby?” He questioned. You were so sensitive that the slightest touch to your cunt, made you tremble with need. “Yes” you said breathlessly. Toji kept playing with your pussy through your panties making the wet spot on them grow. With you in a tipsy haze and being unbearably horny, the teasing was proving to be too much for you. You needed Toji, and you needed him now.
“Toji fuck me p-please” you moaned bucking your hips hoping his fingers would give you the friction you craved. “In a minute princess. I need to stretch this cunt out so you’ll be able to take my cock, don’t wanna hurt you.” He said. You felt a quick slap on your thigh, warning you to behave or he’ll prolong the torture. Not wanting him to punish you, you just sat there and took what Toji was giving you. You were being such a good girl for Toji that he finally pulled your panties to the side showing off your glistening cunt to him. Strings of your arousal were connecting your panties to your pussy, making Toji’s mouth water. “Fuck your pussy’s so wet. ‘Bet my cock would slide right in won’t it?”
Toji lightly grazed your clit with his finger, making you jolt from the sensation. He added pressure to your clit and began making circles on it, causing you to sigh out in relief. You closed your eyes, the feeling becoming too much too quickly. Toji then took his free hand and eased his middle finger into your cunt. The stretch made your eyes snap open and you let out a string of moans. Slightly after he inserted his ring finger, and began slowly finger-fucking you.
“You’re so wet for me princess.” The feeling of his fingers slowly massaging the inside of your cunt was making it hard to form thoughts let alone words to say to Toji. “You hear that baby?” he asked as he started to move his fingers in and out of you faster, just so you could hear the squelching sounds your pussy was making for him. “That’s what I do to this messy cunt.” Your skin began to heat with embarrassment as you looked away from him, trying to mask how much his words turned you on. “Look at me sweetheart” Toji commanded. The sternness in his voice made you look at him directly in his eyes, letting out a satisfied hum he says, “there’s my pretty girl.” Toji loved seeing you like this. Watching you become a brainless slut for him was something Toji truly cherished during these moments.
As Toji kept finger-fucking you while still doing circles on your clit, you felt your high approaching. “You’re gonna make me cum Toji” you moaned out. “That so?” While shaking your head up and down you whimpered out a “yes” while Toji’s movements never ceased. As you felt your orgasm coming on, your legs began to spread wider just as your hips began moving in circles. It was getting harder and harder to control the sounds that were spilling from your mouth. You were going to cum, and you were going to cum hard. Just as you were about to topple over the edge and descend into bliss, everything stopped.
No No No. You looked at Toji who was staring at you with a shit eating grin on his handsome face. “That’s for waking me princess.” You felt your orgasm disappear and the unshed tears that were in your eyes began to fall. You were frustrated at him, but so fucking turned on by what he was doing to your body. “So mean” you slurred, looking away from him again. Toji placed his had around your neck and brought your face close to his, so he can give you a kiss full of saliva and tongue. Once he pulled away he chuckled saying, “you like when I’m mean though.” The hand that was on your neck moved down to your tits gently massaging them, to your waist picking you up so you were positioned right above his cock.
“I want you to ride me pretty girl. Think you can do that for me?” Instead of answering him, you grabbed his hard cock and rubbed the tip up and down your slit before slowly sitting down on it. You were so wet that there was barely any resistance, which made his cock go in and out of you easily. The feeling of his fat dick filling you made goosebumps rise on your skin, it felt so good, he felt so good. You continued to bounce on him, the pleasure was so intense you couldn’t stop even if you wanted to, which you definitely didn’t want to do that. “You feel so good daddy” you moaned. Toji placed his hands on your hips holding you in place so you can stop your movements. “What did you say?” You and Toji have talked about using that name during sex. It would always be on the tip of your tongue but you just never got the courage to say it, until now.
It’s the alcohol talking you think. But It doesn’t matter. Calling Toji daddy just feels natural.
You took his hands that were holding you in place and moved them slowly up your body while also grinding down on him. Placing one hand on your tit and the other around your neck. “You feel so good inside me daddy,” you expressed while giving him a seductive smile. You felt his cock twitch at the use of the title and something inside Toji snapped. He took the hand that was on your neck and pressed down on the sides making you whimper at the feeling, he then moved the hand that was on your tit and quickly placed it on your ass where he delivered hard spanks while fucking up into you. “Such” *smack* “a” *smack* “fuckin” *smack* “whore” *smack* “for me.” Each slap he gave to your ass made your pussy clench hard around his cock. “Yes yes ‘for you only for you!” you cried out. To add to your pleasure, Toji took one of your nipples into his mouth and began sucking, and lightly biting it.
The feeling of his hot mouth on your nipple was pushing you closer and closer to the edge. “R-right there daddy p-please.” He reached down towards your ass to spread your cheeks apart, making your cunt spread as well. Deep, he always reached so deep inside you this way. “Riiight here baby?” Toji said as he adjusted his hips so his cock was hitting your g-spot perfectly. “Yes yes yes fuck fuck Toji!” Your orgasm started building, after all the teasing and all the good fucking this man was giving you, you were finally going to cum. “I want you to cum for me princess” that’s all you needed to hear before you came hard, all over his cock. “F-fuck daddy I’m cumming I’m fucking cumming!” You basically screamed. Your cunt began to tighten and contract on Toji’s cock, making it hard for him to move inside of you. You threw your head back, the force of your orgasm making you see stars behind your eyelids.
Toji moved your hips in circles, grinding your clit just above the base of his dick, which prolonged your orgasm. “Atta girl just like that, keep cumming just like that baby, that’s my good girl.” Finally coming down from your orgasm you put your arms around his neck and began placing kisses on there. Whispering in Toji’s ear you said, “please cum inside me daddy please.” Everything slowed down and you wanted nothing more than the man below you to fill you up with his cum. With one hand on the nape of his neck, you trailed the other down to his nipple and gave it a quick pinch. “Oh fuck” and just like that Toji came with a loud groan as your name fell from his lips.
Once Toji came down from his high he leaned in and gave you such a soft kiss you barely registered that it happened. The way he can go from fucking you rough and hard to being sweet and loving made you dizzy. During the kiss, Toji was drawing circles on your back which made you clench around his dick which was still inside you. He pulled away from your lips and let out a hiss at the overstimulation. “Sorry,” you giggled to which Toji replied with a light smack on your ass. “Is that what you needed princess?” You let out a yawn sleep overtaking your body. “Yea. Thank you daddy” you sleepily said. Laying you down on the bed Toji pulled out of you and walked to the bathroom to get a washcloth to clean you up. The last thing you heard before drifting off to sleep was Toji softly saying, “You’re welcome princess.”
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