#even if their colors were wonky as hell

[showtoonzfan]

Hey it’s been a bit! The Mammon episode finally came out, so here’s my review!

Pros:

- The sign language scene was cute. Kinda weird that a kid was seeing a show that was clearly for adults but I love me some representation so it gets a pass.

- Despite Blitz not really needing to be in this episode, I thank god he had little screen time and more time was dedicated to Fizz.

- The fish ladies (despite having wonky color palettes that made them EXTREMELY hard to look at) were cute.

Cons:

- Mammon is so flat and uninteresting but I don’t know what I expected from a creator who always hypes her characters up that always end up being one of the three go-to personalities she picks for her male characters. In Mammon’s case he’s just a loud mouth cursing bum so way to ruin another Deadly Sin and make them boring af, moving on.

- I don’t like how Mammon and Fizz’s relationship are similar of Val and Angel’s, Viv keeps recycling stories, characters and plot lines ect, it makes Angel’s story for Hazbin really predictable/underwhelming and not exciting to look forward too especially since we already have the “mafia bad daddy” aspect to him too that they pulled for Moxxie. I guess the idea of Mammon being a controlling ruler is fine on paper but not much is done with it, Fizz just quits in the end like it was easy with zero consequences so what was all that build up for.

- Fizz himself once again feels REALLY out of character, he’s just too soft compared to how he was introduced in season 1. He’s constantly nervous in this episode and insecure, as well as walking on eggshells, and even in Oops he wasn’t THIS sensitive. I’m all for characters struggling and being kicked down but it has to make sense and not feel forced, and once again it feels like Viv is trying way to hard to make the characters she once introduced as snarky assholes to uwu innocent babies. I refuse to believe Fizz was actually INTIMIDATED by this random geeky imp who insulted him, as well as the fish ladies whom he was weirdly nice and welcoming to. It’s also weird seeing how uncomfortable/nervous he was around his fans when I thought the whole point was that he LOVED praise and loved being famous, at least that was season 1 Fizz. Now he feels retconned. Seeing him say “I just need this gig” is weird too, the explanation to why he went through all of this makes no sense, Fizz still has Ozzie and is famous in the Lust ring, and I understand Mammon is his idle but to go through all that abuse for so long for something that could have been so easily avoided feels forced to fit the plot, but it also makes Fizz look dumb.

- There’s confusing lore stuff regarding Mammon and Ozzie, and it makes me realize that Viv should have picked ONE storyline aka ONE Seven Deadly sin to go with Fizz’s story because this is getting mixed up. Fizz acts like if he looses this completion, he looses everything, which confused the heck out of me because no he wouldn’t have? First of all, Ozzie is a fucking powerful sin, how would you loose him? Second, from what we know from season 1, Fizz is a jester who performs at Ozzie’s club. It was Ozzie who built the sex robots across the rings of hell, NOT Mammon, and in season 2 we see that Fizz is under Ozzie’s care and lives in his house. Yet for some weird reason Mammon also represents Fizz and uses him for profit, but it’s not really explained in a way that makes sense, like Love’s art had said in her Fizz redesign video, Fizz’s job is really confusing on what exactly he does. Having both Ozzie and Mammon represent him overcomplicates things and the show did a poor job at explaining how this goes.

- Once again Viv dumps trauma and struggle onto her characters without building it up first. When did Fizz ever give off the impression that he was being controlled or abused, or even that he was so insecure and constantly walked on eggshells to be perfect. In Oops he was happy to be in the spotlight and happy to get the attention, he bragged to Blitz about how successful he was. He seemed happy to perform for Mammon and talked of him highly, and now you’re pulling an Angel Dust situation where he’s expected to be perfect 24/7 and it gets to him emotionally, while also being someone who’s physically and mentally abused. Yet another season 2 episode that wasn’t planned, same as how Millie wanting to feel important wasn’t planned, same as how Stolas seeing Blitz as genuine love wasn’t planned. Different episode, same issues.

- I’m so done with the Hell lore bro, this place officially has no rules and demons can just do anything without consequences. There’s no class system, there’s no rankings, there’s no power dynamics, screw anything that Viv says. There was no fucking reason why Ozzie and Fizz’s relationship needed to be a secret. There was no reason showing Ozzie threatening his workers to not tell anyone about his love life if he was just going to admit it to EVERYONE THE NEXT EPISODE IN FRONT OF ANOTHER SIN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME— what was the POINT. What is the point of Stolas and Blitz’s conflict. What is the point of Stella being classist. What is the point of these class systems and rules if you can just announce that you technically broke a hell rule and no one gives a fuck and you get off scott free. Mammon telling Ozzie “you’ll regret that” like a cartoon villain doesn’t do anything either. What is he ganna do? Tell Lucifer, the character that canonically won’t appear in HB because the sins won’t appear in HH? If Lucifer rules over the sinners, who the fuck is in charge for the rest of Hell. Where’s the authority? And Mammon is just ganna come back for another episode to give the gang trouble cause lord knows we don’t have enough fucking villains already.

- It feels weird that Ozzie would just sit back while someone whom he knows is a piece of shit is treating his loved one badly. I get he was concerned but you’d think one of the seven deadly sins would have more power and authority.

- I was expecting some big gross bug-like thing to appear when Mammon was transforming into his final form, only for it to the exact same design but with small extra eyes and a spider lower half that isn’t even visible in most shots….GOD VIV.

Watching this episode also made me remind myself that this is supposed to be Hell. Seeing Fizz feel better and stand up for himself was sweet but these soft lessons and morals don’t belong in a show like this, and it’s extra aggravating regarding Viv’s double standard, how she can just pick and choose which characters she wants to be evil and which characters are saints. Overall not anywhere near the worst episode of season 2, but I am officially done with Helluva Boss so-

[sp1rit-realm]

༻¨*:· 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐓 ·:*¨༺

༻¨*:· summary ·:*¨༺ you hate remus lupin, and he hates you. what happens when you get stuck in a lift together?

༻¨*:· notes ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 hour three!!!!! 𖦹 enemies to ?? 𖦹 forced proximity 𖦹 fem!reader 𖦹 i did not proofread this bc i'm lazy ⎝(ˊᗜˋ)⎠ 𖦹 thank you for all the support on this series eeeekkkkkk you guys are the best

༻¨*:· word count ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 809

prologue / hour 2 << pt. 4 -- hour 3 >> hour 4

༻¨*:· 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝟑 ·:*¨༺

Remus holds his cheek, "I said no slapping hard! What the fuck was that?"

"Oh, stop being a baby," You scoff, "I didn't even hit you that hard."

"Did too!" He argues.

"Did not!" You argue back.

"Did—" Remus is interrupted by his phone ringing.

"Hello?" He greets, and you see what he means when he says 'customer service voice.'

"Shoot," He sighs—it's funny hearing him try not to swear, "I forgot to tell you. I'm kind of stuck in a lift." He smiles worriedly, all wonky and wobbly.

'What a cute smile,' You think. Whiplash—that's what you get from looking away so fast. Where the fuck did that thought come from?

"I'm being genuine, Marty. I am stuck in a lift." Remus grimaces, and you can only assume his boss is yelling at him, "Well, what do you want me to do, Marty? Pry my way out of here?" He pauses, "No, that's not an actual option!"

You cover your mouth in an attempt to distort your voice, "Sir, the maintenance crew will be there in about five hours."

He shoots you a weird look, and then his boss says: "Okay, obviously you're stuck. You better come to work tomorrow, though!"

Remus grins, "Will do, Marty. Will do." 

He turns to you, bewildered, and asks: "Did you just... help me?"

"It's only because I can't stand how whiny you sounded," You cross your arms and stick your nose in the air.

"Well, I appreciate it." His voice is delicate, and your heart beats faster and faster and faster and— "I owe you one."

Your head snaps to him, "You do realize what you just said, right?"

He nods in full confidence.

"You owe me one. Am I hearing that right?" 

"Yup. I owe you."

You bask in it, grinning. 

Remus Lupin is making you grin, and you aren't bothered by it.

Remus finds himself grinning with you, and he—like you—doesn't care.

And then, you burst into laughter. It's music to Remus's ears, and he regrets not hearing it more. He regrets not being the cause of it. He regrets so much when it comes to you, but you'll never know that. That's what he decides.

He laughs with you, "What's so funny?"

"I think I'm going insane," You giggle, "Cos, well, I'm not minding you here," You take a deep breath, "Let's play a game."

Remus tilts his head, quirking an eyebrow, "A game?"

You gasp, "Let's play twenty questions!"

"...Okay. You go first."

"Are you a dog or cat person?"

Remus thinks for a moment, "Cat, I think. Okay, my turn." He puts his finger to his chin, "What's your favorite color?"

You tilt your head this time, but, unlike Remus, it's in confusion. "You know my favorite color," You smile at him with a weird, contorted expression.

He shakes his head.

"Yes, you do," You insist, "I told you."

"When?" He crosses his arms on the defense.

"At Lily's birthday. Remember? Back when we were..." You wave your hands around, "Not this."

He shakes his head, "No recollection." But his mind is screaming at him. He knows your favorite color—knows what shade. Hell, he knows the fucking hex code.

"Oh," You look at your shoes.

"It's not like you know mine. It's not a big deal."

"Green," You mutter, "Your favorite color is green." You still won't look at him, too scared of his reaction.

"How do you know that?"

You roll your eyes, piercing him with your glare, "'Cos you told me. You've told me plenty of things, believe it or not."

He laughs humorlessly, "When?"

"About a week after we met, you got really wasted and blabbed to me for about two hours." Your gaze returns to your scuffed shoes, "Also, Sirius wouldn't shut the fuck up about you before we met."

"What did I tell you?" Remus heats up with embarrassment at the fact that he doesn't remember—he needs to know what ammunition you have against him.

. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

"Just the person I wanted to see!" Remus shouts when you walk into the little pub you all frequent. You smile at him; he's holding a pint of beer, wearing that stupid smirk of his.

"Yeah?" You ask with a laugh, "I'm just the person you were looking for?"

He nods dramatically, "You heard it here first, babe."

. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

"You really don't remember?"

He, once again, shakes his head.

"It was the last day you were nice to me." You're not sure what prompts you to say it. Maybe you actually were going crazy—confessing things that you swore to never speak of.

And then, all the memories flood back into his brain. He flashes through the night in fractured seconds, catching glimpses of your smile and how pretty your hair looked. For a moment, he swears he's back there. Back when everything was simple for you two.

me when its getting good *evil smile*

lmk if u wanna b tagged!

@queerpumpkinnn @ay0nha @knaveism @whennyxfallsinlove @freezing-my-brain @starlit-epiphany @inkluvs @t3rritorial-piss1ngs @starsval @little-snow @bubybubsters @zvdvdlvr @venzami-burst @rosalyn-s @ttulipwritezz

[stevie-petey]

Decided to just send this in directly but! I have explanations for everything so buckle in bc when i say i have brain rot about this fic I MEAN IT ITS SO GOOD

1. BI BUG CONFIRMATION. ENOUGH SAID.

2. I will never forget reading that scene from season 1 of steve driving bug home w her bike in his trunk and her all flustered about it and i dont super remember what time of day it was in the scene but in my head it was right after sunset where the sun has set but its light creates this contrast that makes everything look cool toned in comparison to whats in the light n i wanted to play w that in the coloring also im a sucker for steve n his big arms so this was almost entirely self indulgent

3. The cardigan bc i needed to. I re read that chapter constantly it gives me all the warm n fuzzies and thats good for the soul

4. The phones were both an “i need to put this in here immediately bc my brain never stops thinking about it” and a filler for blank space. The colors for each are tied to what s3 bug and what s3 are associated w in my head like you cannot tell me bug isnt soft ivory coded and steve is not light grey-blue coded in s3 it just feels right for them (plus i needed to reference the nicknames at least once my very soul craved it)

5. Dustins hat was a lil bit of a last minute thing, i was working on a bigger piece w all of this kids n their looks for season 3 but it wasnt coming out the way i wanted it to so i scrapped it but i still wanted a something in there that wasnt steve or bug related and it felt fitting to put in dustins camp know where cap both bc of his relationships w steve n bug and bc every now and then i think about how dustin felt ditched by the party at the beginning and how heartbreaking that scene was when i read it n how much i just wanted to hug the lil guy bc feeling lonely at an age like that is so devastating it made my heart hurt for him so i wanted to have a lil thing for dustin in there somewhere

6. In the show i really liked the whole bit w steve asking girls out and robin keeping score n before you wrote this scene i was curious as to how you were going to go about it and it ended up cracking me up dude i love that scene if him just being awkward and so not “king steve” suave and i needed to put down how my brain saw that scene to something visual bc it was so ugh hes such a dork i love steves himbo self

7. Follow up is the lil doodle of steve n robin running around high as hell and there was no way i wasnt going to include that somehow if i am given the chance to write the phrase “trash popcorn” and draw robin frolicking i will take it with both hands and bolt

8. Going back to the whole “steve is a desaturated light blue in s3” thing i just wanted an excuse to draw my boy being cute in my head this is when hes helping bug put away books at her job and yes the anatomy is a lil wonky but i luv him and his hair swoops and joes side profile is so very fun to draw <3

Over all come home is wonderful n amazing and i love it n ur brain is so big n full of wrinkles

i genuinely cried when i first saw this im not kidding. im speechless, its so fucking beautiful and everything you drew from the fic is captured SO perfectly i cannot even begin to explain how much this means to me :(((( thank you so so so so much. truly.

the DETAILS ???? you brought the cardigan to life. its exactly how i envisioned it in my head, its BEAUTIFUL :((((( and bug being ivory and steve a blue ,,,, god you really truly nailed this i again cannot put into words how PHENOMENAL this is. the telephone lines being connected with their nicknames, steve carrying a box of books at bugs job, him driving and the setting sub (which you got EXACTLY. it was the same i envisioned in my head writing that scene), the bi colors on the lady bug like are u kidding me !!!! youre insane and i LOVE YOU !!!

steve n high robin doodle is so <333 and the steve scene at scoops with his flustered monologue in the background made me giggle so hard oh my god.

i know you dont know this, but my birthday is tomorrow and this is the best gift ive ever been given. i want to frame the doodles and put it on my bedroom wall because i am astounded and in awe of your talent and still so baffled my fic was brought to life !!!!! its mind boggling and i cannot thank you enough for this experience <333

(obviously with ur permission in reference to wanting to print n frame the doodles because theyre so dear to me and i respect ur talent !!)

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Could I possibly request a Gallzatto x Reader about the trio planning their girls first birthday?

The planning would be absolute chaos. Also I hate planning so I hope I did this justice!!

~~☆☆☆~~

The three of you sat around the coffee table, debating about the upcoming birthday of your twin daughters.

By now all you had agreed on was the dlower theme to match their names. One wanted a big party, the other something small, and the last really wanted to go to bed since it was 1AM already and you weren't a single step closer to completing this planner.

"Can we puhleeease just decide on the cake and call it a day? I need sleep, I have work tomorrow.." You whined at them and dropped your head onto your crossed arms.

"Seriously if you don't decide right now I'm calling Marcus and do it myself."

"Chocolate cake, obviously."

"Vanilla, for sure."

"Alright screw this. I'm off to bed." You grabbed your mug and brought it to the sink before going past the table again to kiss both boys goodnight and head off. "Goodnight you two."

A defeated sigh left Lip's lips. "I don't get why she's so moody about all of this." He looked over the list of things that still needed to be decided on with multiple scribbled notes at the sides.

"The girls' birthday is nice, but you're forgetting that day was a nightmare come true for their mom." Carmen's comment had Lip take back his complaint, he felt bad remembering how you'd wake up crying night after night in the first weeks after the babies were born.

"How about half chocolate half vanilla for the cake?" Lip had taken a new piece of paper and scribbled a wonky looking cake shape, splitinto two half circles with one end saying 'vanilla' and 'chocolate' on the other. He kept writing on each side, ending with the girls' names on either side and their favorite color decorations written down as well. He turned the paper and slid it over to Carmy to inspect.

"Yeah, looks good to me. We'll ask momma tomorrow." Carmy took your list and checked off the cake bit. They moved on to the next box: drinks. A small 'alcohol?' Next to it as a means to ask the boys later. "I know I can keep my hands off it now. I'm in a good place"

So they agree on a small 'yes' next to your question, count how many people gou plan to invite and write down the amount of drinks to order for the bigger and smaller guest amount options.

A little "run by mom" note next to it in a bright color.

"Do we get their flowers for decoration?"

"What snacks are we getting? And, buying or preparing them ourselves?"

The questions that come along with your written list each took a short while to answer now that they each finally set aside the ideal birthdays they had in mind and listened to what the other had to bring to the table. They know they're stubborn and have butt heads from time to time. Hell, it led to you leaving them to figuring this out on their own just now.

"We should get momma something too."

They discussed some more before calling it a night and going to sleep.

The next morning you wormed yourself out from between them and out of bed to head to work. Your morning routine was a simple one with Rose and Lily being the easiest kids ever when it came to breakfast. You woke, fed and burped each one before putting them back to bed and gurning the volume on the baby monitor all the way up so your boys would wake up if the girls got fussy.

On your way past the dinner table you found almost the entire birthday planned out from decorations to guest lists and drinks. You only had time for a quick glance so leaving a little "let's look after dinner" note was your final action before heading out.

Together you gave everything a once-over and settled on all the details fairly quickly that evening and the party was better than expected with so many lovely gifts from both Carmy's and Lip's families. Flower themed cake and little cupcakes were available as your little girls were pampered and smothered with cuddles and kisses from everyone.

After the party was over and the girls were asleep you happily cleaned up together and went off to bed. The boys wanted to have one last smoke before joining you and came in with a small box wrapped in a little bow.

"We know today is our baby girls' day," Lip started as he sat down on one side of the bed.

"But you deserve something special too." Carmy added as he sat down on the opposite side and handed you the small box.

Opening the box you couldn't keep your eyes off the thin gold chain with an engraved heart shaped pendant on it.

The front read 'Momma' in a beatiful cursive lettering, and the back had both Lip and Carmy's full names on them.

[endiecutieo6]

-Gorebruary 2023-

Week 2

Heyo! Let’s get to it so that tumblr doesn’t want me dead. Now, onto the content warning!

Day 8/Too many teeth: Body horror, blood, open wounds

Day 9/Freakshow: Body horror, blood, stitches

Day 10/Drowned: Lots of blood

Day 11/Dissected: body horror, eye strain

Day 12/So many eyes: body horror, ommetaphobia, eye strain

13/Cannibalism: Blood, open wounds, visible organs, shaking (for the video portion)

14/Love: Eye strain, visible bruising, visible self harm, blood, organs

“Hyperdontia:

Hyperdontia is the condition of having supernumerary teeth, or teeth that appear in addition to the regular number of teeth (32 in the average adult). They can appear in any area of the dental arch and can affect any dental organ”

PN: I messed up the ordering on this one. This prompt was meant to come AFTER the next one. I also am so mixed about this one. I feel like I could’ve done much better, maybe lean less on the blood and more the body horror. I guess I like the coloring?

"-and here we have our "weeping groom"! Oh? Yeah, that's a guy. Legend has it he's been waiting so long for his lover at the altar, that he kinda forgot it he was the bride or not, and-hey, stop knocking on the glass, he doesn't like that"

"How did he get like that? Well, we don't actually know, we found him like this and took him in, and he just keeps waiting, constantly. He never stops waiting. It's... actually kinda tragic... Now, this freakshow has come to an end. The exit is right behind you, please throw away your garbage in the appropriate spot, and we hope you'll visit again!"

“…um, are you gonna leave or-oh, the blood? It's just decoration, he's not in any actual pain or whatever-hey, I said to stop knocking on the glass! If you really give that much of a shit about him, you'd not do that! Now, get the fuck out before I call security."

"Fuckin' kids- had to install that window because people would throw cigarettes at him- who's the real monster, those fucks or this innocent man? Anyways, let's get you cleaned up and taken to your room, okay bud?"

PN: there’s an au behind this one I just haven’t explored it yet. I also have had a redraw of this on the backseat for fuckin’ ages. I worked really hard on this one anyway.

“No one really knows what happened, when it happened, or even who did it, but it was poor Tracy who came across his corpse first. You swore you could still hear her scream ringing in the air, petrified in a way she'd never been before. Poor girl.

Rusty, spear-like pole to the neck. That's one hell of a way to go. Probably snapped his neck in two, but the blood on his fingers seemed to indicate it didn't fully kill him. It must've been agonizing, and you couldn't help but cringe as you wrote your report.

You already suspected one of the hunters had something to do with it, but who specifically? Hell If you knew.

You knew you were going to have to skip dinner, too afraid you'd empty your guts out on the floor, when you finally noticed the poof of blood in his mouth, and you realized that he, probably in a panic and desperately trying to call for help, choked and drowned in his own blood.

You kept that out of the report. You wanted to forget about this as soon as you could, if just for the sake of your own mental health.”

PN: I both really like and really don’t like this specific image, and it’s hard to explain why. I feel like the angling is a little wonky. Also an OC is writing the report and I might show the OC later.

“Curiosity killed the cat.

Freddy had an issue at letting go, leaving stones unturned and just walking away. It was almost like an itch, maybe even a rash, and he couldn't resist it. He'd scratch and scratch till he clawed his skin open, and he wouldn't stop until he finally got the answer. He knew he'd regret it once it was over, especially if he saw something he couldn't forget, but now he could let it go.

These periods of destructive curiosity were on and off, always something new and always something that would hurt him once it was all over. He'd do it to stories, or people; over analyzing and picking apart every aspect until he was too frail from over exhaustion to continue. It was easier with stories, and it was exhausting with people. It was even worse with himself.

It was only when he looked at himself did he realize how little he thought about his actions, how little thought went into his actions, and suddenly it mattered so much he felt like he was going to fall apart. It was a frenzy; he was practically ripping himself open, claws he didn't know he had sinking into his flesh and just tearing it away. His hands shook terribly, but he couldn’t stop. He had to know.

It wasn’t until he was done dissecting everything about himself did he realize the damage, but it was too late to take anything back. He felt so fucking hollow it made him dizzy. The world seemed to spin around him, yet it was too late.

He couldn't take it back, and by god he wished he could.”

PN: not happy with this one. Even the sketch for this one was weak and I just can’t find anything good about it. I wish I tried a little harder.

“Maybe it’s a little out of line, but I can’t stop staring at you.

You’re so pretty, like a blooming rose.

I can’t let this chance pass me by.

So, I’ll say it:

I love you.

Will you be mine?”

PN: I like this one! I don’t have too much to say other than that unfortunately.

PN: this is literally just the PV for “The spider and the Kitsune-like lion” by MASA. I have super mixed feelings about this one because I feel like I didn’t try hard enough. The body is fine but the head is just iffy. If I redrew it I’d try much harder.

WARNING:

This story contains:

Depictions/ descriptions of self harm

Depictions/ descriptions of violence

Mental Breakdowns

Mental health struggles

“He couldn't do this again.

It hurt, it hurt so much. It sunk its rotten daws into his shriveled heart, and the way it tugged it down- it was too much.

He promised he wouldn’t do this again, to dare let this feeling take over him. It nearly brought him to tears every time he glanced down at the ring on his finger, a golden band that reflected his pathetic expression. Sometimes, he swore that his expression would narrow its eyes at him, disgusted. It nearly made him want to take it off but that only hurt more.

In desperation, he locked himself away. He hardly left his room, only leaving when he needed to, and praying no one noticed his puffy eyes and his red cheeks. Humiliatingly, he found himself bursting into tears at the drop of a dime. He was practically weeping his way through the day, and it was getting harder to hide.

That damned feeling stil lingered, stood at his doorway and just stared. It flexed its claws and grinned a toothy grin, eyes narrowed in a forced attempt at a smile. "You can't ignore me forever" it sang rapping its blistered knuckles against his nightstand as he tried to sleep "there's no point: I'm not leaving"

It was true, and he hated it. A reality he couldn't deny was a cruel punishment, but maybe he deserved it.

As the days went by, he only got worse. He wouldn't eat, he'd bang his head against his desk until he was too faint to continue, he'd scratch at his neck and shoulders and chest, wishing he could just rip himself open and be done with it all sometimes, he'd wrap his fingers aroundhis neck and just squeeze. It was almost cathartic when his vision started to darken, when his mind began to twirl and his heart seemed to scratch desperately at his flesh. He'd always let go, but then he'd do it again and again.

But, every action has a consequence, and his was the various marks his injuries would leave behind. Bruises and cuts on his forehead, blood smeared underneath his nose, the growing red stains where he'd been too tired to clean up his wounds and let them bleed into his shirt, and the deep, reddish prints his palms left behind. A beautiful portrait of his suffering.

The others were starting to notice; Lingering stares followed his every movement when he occasionally snuck out of his room. It made his skin crawl every time they opened their mouths, as if they wanted to say something, only to decide against it and just give him a look, almast a silent plea for him to just stop.

Every time, he'd paused in consideration. He'd look down at himself, down at the dried blood on the underside of his fingernails, and he'd want to end all of this.

Then, he'd look up and see them. His heart, his treacherous, bastard heart would dare to beat, and it was like he was pushed back into the water. And, as he drowned, he'd chuckle to himself, suddenly remembering words he would bitterly growl to himself as a pathetic method of comfort he'd turn to when the dark, lonely nights became unbearable:

“What's called romance is nothing but fooling oneself before foding others"

What a hypocrite.

With the cycle starting all over again, he'd let his mind entertain fantasies of his fingers, having finally sunk deep enough into his chest to rip it open, grasped and finally tore out that tell tale heart, and he'd smile as he imagined himself floating away into a red sea, happy.

What a terrible thing: to be in love.”

PN: Love the story, hate the image. It fails to convey the pain I wanted it to and it just doesn’t stand up on its own. It seems like a first draft, and I'm so disappointed in it. Also, the love in this story is meant to be towards Kreacher but I kept it vague enough to be anyone. I think it makes the story stronger.

Alrighty, see you guys soon!

[rist-ix]

What do you think about the fact that the "light" put Valtor in a torture prison for almost two decades and how it could have affected him ? Love you meta btw

Thank you!! About the company of light sending Valtor to Omega…

welp. he had it coming

The exact circumstances of his imprisonment are, as usual, a victim to timeline wonkiness, so we can’t say for certain who it was that locked him up — whether it was Oritel and Marion before the Witches arrived to wipe Domino clean, or the Faragonda-Griffin-Saladin-Trio. But it is likely that Domino was destroyed before he was sentenced to eternity in ice, if not before he was even captured in the first place.

Going from that, Faragonda and Co. have just learned that their friends, their kingdom and their two young daughters (one of them a literal infant) were murdered as a final act of desperation/cruelty in the war. And they have the man who was complicit, if not actively executing said act, in their hands. If we assume that Valtor‘s fate was solely up to them, no Council and Light Rock involved, I totally get why they yeeted him to Ice Hell without hesitation. Any of his previous crimes would probably be enough to warrant that too already. I am frankly surprised that they didn’t straight up murder him on the spot, but that’s were my favorite headcanon that he’s pretty much unkillable (‘cause dragon fire) plays in quite nicely.

I love Valtor, he’s my pathetic lil meow meow, but he is also unrepentantly evil in canon. He’s living for the atrocities. He's doing it for power, but also DEFINITELY for funsies. There is the implication that his mothers can control his physical form, but even then, he never regrets anything he's done and would 100% do it again if given the chance. That is a) very sexy of him and b) a very good reason to put him in the freezer and never talk about him again. I'm with Faragonda on this one folks

That second question tho, how his imprisonment could affect him, offers a whole lot more options:

To be fair, I don’t think it was ever explicitly confirmed that Omega prisoners are awake and aware while frozen, I just like to do that in fics for the angst. But thats still 20 years he's just straight up missing, a lot of changes and developments that happened without him noticing. If he was frozen before Domino fell, thats one big newsflash for sure; if he knew beforehand, he's still terribly out of touch with how the dimension settled around that loss. I also like to think he does not understand half the lingo the trix throw at him. He fakes it till he makes it, but he is SO confused.

Going back to canon, there actually is one pretty big indicator that his imprisonment really fucked him up emotionally tho. And its in everyone's favorite episode too: the one with the ruins on Andros, where Valtor officially introduces himself to the Winx.

If we skip past his private conversation with Bloom (which would be a crime), and to the part where the Winx re-enter the fray to blast him with their colorful beams, we can see one INCREDIBLY quick shift in his behavior, to the point its almost jarring, and it's when Layla / Aisha steps up.

Up to this point, and really, in 95% of his battles, Valtor never loses his charming tone of voice and his calm demeanor. It's how he's mocking his enemies and asserting his superiority: he is so confident in his power that he doesnt even bother raising his voice, he just swats away spells and keeps up the chit-chat. That little shit. He's iconic that way.

Un-fucking-bothered.

But it also means that when he does lose his cool, its very noteworthy and makes it obvious he feels genuinely threatened or unbalanced. When Layla lands in front of him and announces herself as Princess of Andros, his face visibly falls. His smirk is wiped clean off, and he goes straight into the offensive, for the very first time that day.

No banter, no pulling his punches, he goes in for the metaphorical kill and leaves immediately after, with Layla permanently (for now) blinded in one shot. It's the only time i can remember that he specifically targeted her, and its with pure, unregulated rage and ruthlessness. Similarly, while he is doing his one-man world tour of planetary crisises, every planet suffers but Andros specifically is nearly wiped off of the star maps entirely.

While there is a point to be made about how the writers always seem to have it out for Layla, the watsonian reason for this that jumps to my mind is that Andros, for the past 18-20 years, has been his jailor. I'm pretty sure i remember lines from the german dub about how Andros and everyone on it is worthless and deserves the same fate, but even without that, its pretty obvious that Valtor is pissed at them specifically. By doing their galactic duty (or political responsibility) and guarding the Omega Gate, Andros has ensured Valtor stays nice and frosty for almost two decades. While his outward reaction - anger and violence - demonstrates his desire for revenge, his sheer lack of restraint and impulse control hints more at fear in my opinion. In the latter half of s3 we only ever see him freak out like this when he is actively losing the war. He is the animal that bites when cornered.

We cant be sure he was aware in his cell, but if just the mention of Andros can set him off like this, we can assume he really doesn't like to think about it, and might even have some form of PTSD sticking with him. And since his only reaction to fear at this point seems to be maiming and murdering, this will likely contribute to his evil-and-lovin-it problem.

Excellent ask anon!!

[pizzaqueen]

Steddie 12 and/or 23! :3

Yay, thank you! I went for 23 (covering them with a blanket when they’ve fallen asleep on the couch) because two other people sent 12!

Anyway, this is incredibly sappy! I’m not sure if I should say sorry for that or not XD But thank you so much for sending this prompt!

Future fic; established relationship; G; 774 words

Eddie kicks off his shoes and shrugs off his jacket. There’s a crack in his jaw as he yawns and his eyes water. He wipes his eyes and hangs the jacket on one of the hooks Steve put up behind the door the week they moved in. He rolls his neck this way, then that, relishing the stretch, then pads down the hall.

The glow of the television edges around the corner at the far end and he calls out, “Told you not to wait up,” then detours to the kitchen for a beer, not waiting for a response. The cold air from the fridge doesn’t do anything to wake him up and he winces against the light; he grabs two beers, then heads to the living room.

He stops in the doorway, a small smile tilting his lips. “Guess you didn’t wait up.”

Soft snores fill the room, coming from Steve where he’s sprawled on the couch, a copy of Automobile magazine spread over his stomach and his glasses knocked askew. His mouth is open and one leg is bent at an awkward angle, half off the couch. It doesn’t look comfortable but Steve can sleep anywhere. Pippin is purring softly on his chest, looking more like a ball of black fuzz than a cat.

Eddie sets the beers down on the coffee table and shakes his head, still smiling gently. It’s crazy how happy he can feel just looking at Steve asleep, curled up with their cat, even after all this time. It doesn’t stop the urge to ball up a piece of paper, or something, and stick it in Steve’s mouth from rising up, though. It’s easy enough to resist, just a passing thought, and, instead, he takes Steve’s glasses off, folding the arms, and putting them on the end table that’s propped up with a phone book.

The television is all snow, so Eddie picks up the remote and turns it off, leaving only the dim light from the streetlights outside their apartment window. He should probably wake Steve up—sleeping on the couch is hell for his back, and, more selfishly, Eddie doesn’t want to sleep alone—but Steve’s had a few restless nights lately, and Eddie can’t bring himself to disturb his first peaceful sleep in a while.

Steve twitches, shifting a little and the magazine slides to the floor. Eddie nudges it under the couch and grabs the blanket on the arm—it’s this wonky crocheted monstrosity in the ugliest colors Eddie’s ever seen, made as a housewarming present by Robin before she decided handicrafts weren’t her thing—and spreads it over Steve.

Pippin lazily opens one yellow eye, peering up at Eddie, before closing it again. Eddie runs a hand down her back then leans over and presses a kiss to Steve’s forehead. He pushes Steve’s hair out of his face and straightens up. The thought of getting into a cold, empty, Steve-less bed isn’t appealing, but there’s not enough room on the couch for two grown men and a cat.

Sighing, he turns away, but stops when warm fingers curl around his wrist and a soft voice croaks, “Stay.”

Eddie turns back to see Steve squinting up at him. “Thought you were asleep.”

“Ngh.”

“That so, huh?”

Steve rubs a hand over his face. “Stay with me.”

“There isn’t room for three of us.”

“Three?” Steve looks down to where Pippin is lying on his chest; as he moves, he disturbs her and she gives him an indignant look then scampers off. “Only two now,” he says, looking back at Eddie.

“Okay, there still isn’t room for two of us. And now you’re awake, we can go to bed.”

“Just a few minutes.” Steve tugs on Eddie’s wrist and sticks his bottom lip out.

Eddie rolls his eyes but he lets himself be pulled down into Steve’s arms. “Just a few minutes,” he repeats.

“Mm.” They shift around until they’re spooning, Eddie’s back pressed tight to Steve’s chest. Steve noses at Eddie’s neck, sighing sleepily and happily, warm breath tickling Eddie’s neck. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too.”

Moments later, Steve starts snoring softly. So much for just a few minutes.

Eddie tugs the blanket free from where it’s trapped beneath him, pulling it over himself and Steve, covering their shoulders.

A gentle weight settles at his feet and Eddie cranes his neck to see Pippin curled up, already purring sleepily. Looks like they’re all here for the night. Whatever. They can deal with any aches and pains in the morning. And falling asleep on the couch with Steve is one of his favorite things, anyway.

[dapper-lil-arts]

What do you think of the Equestria girls specials(magical movie night, rollercoaster of friendship, etc.)? They're personally my favorite eqg content (even though I swear the colors were wonky for Mirror Magic. Like Fluttershy looks sickly pale)

Oh the specials are the peak for sure, Forgotten friendship, rollercoaster of friendship, spring breakdown, backstage pass-- They are arguably even more interesting and fun than the movies, and thats sayin a lot cause the movies aint bad at all! Hell. this insanity? me ONLY pony posting? its literaly only because of sunset shimmer-- And that is STRONGLY because of these specials; Stuff like forgotten friendship FUELED me on everything rly. Its hilarious to say but if i was only watching the FIM show? i wouldnt be like this right now lmao id still be posting furry titties only.

[bisexual-yuri]

Talent and Blessings Don’t Matter in the Hospital (Lessons from ECMC)

There is only so much process you can reasonably expect someone to do 

I feel like I’ve hit my limit

Shit’s got me feeling bored and stupid like the village idiot 

Need my creativity need a job 

I’m all full of all sort of needs to sort out this agony of idleness

They say it’s a kindness to myself to take so much time to myself but what do I do all by myself except circle a drain I don’t want to drain out of?

Can I take a plane or a train off this cliff of boredom without alarming me and everyone that loves me?

Still processing neuropathy and dark shit discussed in therapy 

Like the fact that the nurses sedated me against my will needlessly because they were scared of me 

Don’t care that they’re the real scary she’s, the real scary ones 

The ones keeping me locked away from the sun and the fan

It felt like nobody cared that the son of God sees all including patient abuse, including how if you scary enough they’ll take your fuckin’ shoes 

They don’t got a clue the trauma they causer with the drama and gel/powder painted claws, damaging psych mentality, my prayer is done so more it be

Amanda and JD, were they manic or just anxious?

Why did Corey have to take all this?

Why won’t Fawzi just get all the words out?

Why wouldn’t they just let Jaxem the fuck out?

People no danger to themselves or me

Still in lockup, docs give no fucks you see 

False profits and false prophets get out easy

Druggin’ the fun out of Aggie

You ain’t fun no more, that’s how you get free

Behavior in the health, good behavior in hell

And it doesn’t even come with Mercy

Quitting’ Cymbalta cold turkey

Can’t see color, can’t smell nothin’, feelin’ wonky

Temperature a mess, cold water on hot hands

No one cares to listen, no one really understands that big emotions are not themselves a disease

Drug’ll fuck your mind up till you can’t even see

I’m Eliza spitting’ rhymes now, not lies now, no I’m no fucking donkey

It’s a song but I wrote it in the wrong key

Singin’ red teeth, spitting truth through the nose bleed 

Now I got time to kill but no blood to spill

You can’t take anything further away from me

Robbed of all my autonomy, my work and my loves all a trifecta of purgatory

Abuse and sex crimes by blonde bitches who look at me and see witches

Plural

I’m just one person, big feelings on a fleshly mural 

Trying to make sense of the senseless violence done to me 

Trying to make sense of the senseless violence done period 

I’m deadly serious 

This shit needs to get a hard look at it 

A world full of angels seeking their halos and wings, instead get shot down with syringes and bans that take wedding rings 

No wedding ring for me, no wedding ring for Sarah not even a tattoo

In the hospital they treat you like a damn fool and then wonder why you behave any differently 

Sorry ECMC but the truth you saw in there ain’t the real me, it’s the me you brought out of me

It’s the eagle you carved out of a hummingbird that was trying to rest on a dead tree

I’m not a dead me, I’m just me, so why did you try killing me to make me whole again?

I’ll tell you doc, you have cost me all sorts of friends by locking me up in this shit 

Made some new ones too, but the anger and the loss are harder pills to swallow than anything you gave me in follow up

Divorce the PTSD, divorce from real me, you people never trusted me to take care of me

It’s scary

I know in a moment I had lost my mind, but damn is that license to be so fucking unkind? 

How am I supposed to find peace in the belly of the beast? 

How is anyone supposed to heal when you hit them hard with rules about what is and isn’t real?

Makes you wonder who’s the delusional one, the patients or the system

All I know is the needle toothed fucker takes everyone as a victim and doesn’t care if we scream or we cry

More fuel for the fire, more reasons to make people want to die to escape this

I know Al, you’re still here and you can’t take this 

Neither can I, knowing people suffer every day in this hellfire of some hospital’s fucked up design 

But what can I do, I’m just one person and I don’t even have a second shoe to drop because of what the hospital took from me 

I have a lot of friends, lot of family 

Most people ain’t so lucky

Screaming on the wind “why did you do this to me and him and her and them and everybody?”

I wish I knew an answer, I wish I had a better answer than just to scream

Maybe someday when I am healed I will have energy to dream of a better future for this

But for now, all I can do is sleep

[ticklish-touch]

Decided to post my Backrooms chapter illustrations separately. The links to all the (SFW) chapters can be found here:

I really wanted to push myself not just as a writer, but also as a digital artist for this story.

You can read some rambles about my art process for each illustration below the cut.

Ch 1: For this chapter cover, I wanted to do my best to replicate the eerie, sickly vibe of Level Zero. And that resulted me in really playing around with the lighting and shadows in a way that I hadn't before. I also wanted to give it a bit of wonky perspective and feel a bit like an illusion-house.

Ch 2: Lookit this cheeky fucker. Totally isn't a Tower of Terror employee luring you into a false sense of security. 😁 My initial idea for this illustration was to make it look as if the Manager's cuttlefish head was really morphing & bowing out from within the wallpaper. I tried a couple drafts where I attempted to line up his tentacles and facial patterns with the wallpaper patterns. And idk, it just didn't end up looking as cool as it did in my head. (Also hallelujiah for Clip pattern brushes, they helped me make the trim around the elevator.)

Ch 3: Fun fact: This chapter was originally going to be the second half of my hotel chapter. But I'm glad it became its own thing, cause otherwise it would've robbed me of the chance to draw Rags acting like a supervillain in a construction helmet and flannel 👍

also Clip Studio Assets are a godsend, they prevent me from having to draw out an entire freakin warehouse floorplan. I did color it all myself though.

Ch 4: I remember this drawing taking me longer than I would've liked.Then again I've always struggled to draw somewhat realistic-looking water. The shadow off-shooting below the smaller cube pool into the deeper water was actually a complete accident.

And in case anyone was wanting to see a close-up of Lionfish Rags:

And again, Spike and Drake are temporary names for the sake of this AU setting until I think of actual names (for if and when I ever get around to making a Mer-Nautica AU like I've been wanting to). The silhouettes show how big they were when I first saw them in my dreams:

Ch 5: I had visuals in mind for a group of Wanderers/ Survivors since before I wrote this chapter, and grew even more attached to them as I wrote them. I was originally going to just have them depicted here, but I also couldn't get the stupid image of Rags and his megaphone out of my head and decided it needed to be shared 👌

Ch 6: When I tell yall that it was a struggle to get through drawing this. And not because of genuine art struggles; No, because of the pure Lee Panik that gripped my soul when having to zoom in close on Rags' sadistic unhinged Ler face hhhhhhfdhdfjgkfghl-

This was one of the chapters I was most looking forward to writing. It's still one of my favs in terms of pure unbridled ruthless gang-tickling, the culmination of my pred/prey/chasing fantasies revolving around laughter-hungry monsters, along with some good ol Mad Scientist roleplay.

...Oh and the first official introduction of the final antagonist, there's that too 😛

Ch 7: Yall have no idea the absolute childlike glee I felt when discovering that there's a freaking Bouncehouse/McDonalds Playplace level of the Backrooms. But holy hell, drawing the Toon Monsters was more of a challenge than I thought. There's a surprising amount of finesse in depicting that wacky, slightly-unnerving/uncanny toony charm. (Ballpit brush is best brush, change mymind)

Ch 8: Since this chapter was more or less meant to be a sort of mid-series Climax, a hint of what the battle with the Keymaster would be like, I really wanted to push myself with making this chapter cover truly stand out. It was fun to come up with a full-body design for the Court Jester (based on his Wiki interpretation of course), and it was fun to experiment with the ideas I had in mind for his magic visuals.

Once again, Clip Studio assets are a lifesaver, you can catch me actually attempting to draw a rollercoaster or carousel when I'm six feet under 👌

Ch 9: I was both excited about, and dreading, the chance to play around with various different light colors & sources. I wasn't sure how I was going to make neon blues, purples and magentas work in contrast to Rags' color palette, but I'm very happy with what I came up with.

The Dark Sovereign was also a chance for me to play around with chiaroscuro, an art technique that I've always admired (and actually really liked to do with chalk & pastel back in college). As much as I'm a slut for bright colors, I love stark contrasting black & white.

Ch 10: I went through about three iterations of sketches for this chapter cover. I felt like I just couldn't figure out how to angle the perspective of the treeline in comparison to the Giant. I'm still not even sure if I thoroughly pulled off the proper perspective of the greenhouse in the far distance. But once I added all the pretty, spooky fog effects, I became much happier with it.

Unfortunately I do not have a standalone drawing of Naga!Rags. It will definitely happen one of these days.

Ch 11: For this chapter, I wanted to draw a very cramped, stark, foreboding stretch of environment: Basically, a quintessential scene that one would see in the Backrooms if they were wandering through them alone. This is meant to be a much more down-to-earth chapter than the rest, with an air of melancholy and uncertainty. Turns out it actually lined up quite well with some of my own mental and emotional struggles that I was going through at the time.

Ch 12: For the final hurrah, I really wanted to push myself as a digital artist for this piece. (Though that doesn't mean I was about to draw all those goddamn keys from scratch, lmaoo you can thank Clip Assets for that key ring.) I wanted to try and find a way to make the Keymaster the more imposing figure in the piece, despite the fact that Rags is fully powered-up and closest to the viewer. I'm not sure if I entirely succeeded, since my end solution for making him stand out more was "MOAR GLOWY KEYS!!!"

But it was still fun, and very rewarding to get it completed.

Ch 13: I was very happy to finally get the chance to fully render Kenni for this fic. As much as shading his tendrils still drives me up the wall, it felt nice drawing the good soff boi. And I was happy to give an idea of how his Dream realm looks, with all its pastel clouds and close proximity to the Astral plane.

[thousandyearphantombunker]

What the hell did people want Steven to do? Kill the diamonds? Yeah sure bro that's a great idea hey um what happens after he kills the pseudo religious being of godlike power? The issues on home world are systemic and run deep killing the diamonds would be horrible idea- yes they are dictators but you can't fix the issues fascism causes by just killing the leader and in some cases you make everything worse, i might not buy whites redemption (she went from genuinely terrifying matriarch and cruel to a blushy 'i must atone mess?) but steven was not a selfish idiot who forgives other people's abusers on their behalf, if another war started earth would be screwed, the solution to the problem wasn't as simple as kill the bad guy- to everyone who complains that diamonds will just start killing again- steven is taking active effort to make sure that never happens! I get why people are angry the diamonds get away with abusing pink, being dictators and still have power in home world- it feels like a major injustice but the bigger picture flat out shows that steven isn't being selfish for maintaining his moral purity (and even if he was I would defend him, the same way i do with aang and batman). While I have my complaints about the ending (mainly how white diamond was written) and hate how pink went from morally grey/questionable to evil hate sink, the fact that the secondary crystal gems, and lars and the off colors were basically irrelevant in the finale, but I will fight anyone who says the only way to solve complicated issues in the world is to 'kill the bad guys!' and that when fighting against racism or abusers or fascists etc the only correct way to deal with the problem is kill the people who are racist or abusive or fascist- some of you people are so focused on 'justice' or 'fairness' that you neglect everything's else like if I applied your logic to the real world we could just forget things like protecting basic rights or fixing systemic elements of social injustice etc, I genuinely hate the diamonds (especially white) and the og shows finale as a whole but steven is not an abuse apologist- he's a diplomat who uses violence as a last resort, there is a ton of other issues with su but God can we look at the ending with nuance? It sucked ass with the pacing and the fusion designs were pretty bad but it wasn't endorsing abuse apologism- Steven was focused on the bigger picture while I have my issues with him as a character sometimes I can say he was being noble here and was not a whiny piss baby, pussyfooting around something he 'needed' to do. The show was never about good killing evil and our 'moral duty' to do so, it was a show with anti war messages with a few botched aesops and wonky art, there's actual shit to complain about with steven universe but Everytime I hear all the comments about how toh made up for steven universe's sins or about how batman and aang are selfish etc it drives me insane,like I could point out so many unfortunate implications in su that are actually bad but y'all focus on the least problematic shit in the show and accuse of Rebecca Sugar a bisexual jew married to a black man of being a nazi apologist! You claim toh made up for the sins of Steven universe and laugh at the 'jab' the show made at Steven universe but there's a few things that don't hold up Dana is friends with Sugar (it is definitely not a jab) and the shows while they have similarities should not be compared, they are fundamentally different shows, like the stuff they do have in common (developing several characters that end up having no real effect on the finale or plot, badly written main antagonists etc) still don't justify the comparison yes they are filled to the brim with lgbt characters and are fantasy shows but one is magical girl/boy space opera about self love the other is a dark fantasy comedy that is about inclusion and coping with disabilities/trauma and while they have overlap they are not the same.

[embossross]

2023 in anime

i give ratings out of 10 stars based on a rubric that considers the following:

2 points / ambition of what the anime is trying to achieve 3 points / effectiveness of the anime in achieving its aims 4 points / my personal, subjective enjoyment 1 point / pacing +1/-1 miscellaneous

so with that said… ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (2 anime)

revolutionary girl utena – heavy breathing panting crying what a fucking roller coaster nanami the child you are anty the child you were utena the child you choose to be – just one of the true masterpieces of all anime. took a few episodes to realize that this show understood tone and comedy perfectly and wasn’t just a wonky children’s show and by golly! the nanami in season 3 gutted me unlike anything else

attack on titan: final season (for real this time) – decent conclusion to maybe my favorite anime of all time

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (10 anime)

school rumble – so goddamn funny and i cared about every goddamn character. it’s witchcraft!

trigun – good ole saturday morning cartoons

golden kamuy s3 – how does it keep getting better???!?!

fruits basket – i was a certified hater after s1, but slowly but surely i gave into the melodrama. akito and shigure were EVERYTHING

nana – the most disappointing ending of all time! for one of the greatest anime of all time. manga pls save me!!!

rascal does not dream of bunny girl senpai – i’m embarrassed. i cried.

princess tutu – expressionistic, dedicated to storytelling, tremendously kind-hearted. you have to let it move you

blue lock – i’m officially a sports anime girlie

cyberpunk: edgerunners – this was just so slick!

chainsaw man – nothing needs to be said here

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (8 anime)

yamada-kun to lv999 no koi wo suru – adult romance that hasn’t been stripped of all conflict and maintains momentum nearly to the end

oshi no ko – my expectations were non-existent after ep 1 but then it crept up on me. i can’t even fully put my finger on what works so well? but it does! it knows when to take itself seriously and when to be nonsense.

demon slayer s3 – best season of demon slayer to date, i actually cared

durarara!!x2 shou – this is a confession. my inner edgy teen loves durarara. i appreciate huge casts of characters acting in opposition in atmospheric tokyo.

gintama – i finally finished gintama one of my favorites of all time. the end pulls all the threads together but it does so at the expense of the laughs so loses some points

chihayafuru – amazing background anime. just consistently fun and engaging.

perfect blue – i feel stupid and uncultured to not give this a 10

vinland saga – askeladd is so hot wow

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (7 anime)

buddy daddies – funny and sincere in degrees but a truly annoying little girl character

serial experiments lain – god you’ve gotta appreciate the wild swings creatives were taking in the 90s

durarara!!x2 ten

great teacher onizuka – ugh he’s a creep but also heh he’s funny

trigun stampede – they yassified them!

mob psycho 100 s3 - meandered a bit but the characters are forever favorites

to your eternity – the first 3 arcs are extraordinary. march is one of the great child characters of all time. the end drags.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (8 anime)

zom 100 – crazy good first episode that earns its premise and then a slow descent into mediocrity; cool colors though!

terror in resonance – utterly forgettable

dororo – way too long with way too many hit or miss episode arcs

bungou stray dogs s4 – the cracks are showing but the rampo backstory is dope

lycoris recoil – those cute girls shoulda been lesbians

classroom of the elite – is it edgy? yes. are the quotes frustratingly misused? oh yes. is it fun? ugh yeah actually

romantic killer – pretty cute and the edge of danger at the end really sells it

free – solid watch but it left my brain like sand in a sieve

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4 anime)

wolf’s rain – what passes as deep when children are your primary audience

hell’s paradise – boring and i liked the manga so.

durarara!!x2 ketsu – the conclusion falls short

land of the lustrous – bold but was too slow for me

⭐⭐⭐⭐ (3 anime)

tomo-chan is a girl! – sometimes funny but the conceit does not justify 13 episodes and it loses steam fast

mushishi – some of the vignettes were beautiful but felt repetitive

bleach: thousand-year blood war – sleek, hype, plagued by all the old bleach problems

no game no life season 1 - confused that this was such a phenomenon when it came out. it’s fine i guess.

⭐⭐⭐ (5 anime)

kamisama kiss – trite imo

given – god save us from anime about perfect people being perfect with each other – but this time set to music!

tokyo revengers s2 – 🤷

natsume’s book of friends – i don’t need vibes this cozy

sasaki to miyano – and i really don’t need vibes this cozy

⭐⭐ (0 anime)

⭐ (0 anime)

& then ongoing shows that i’m not going to rank until i finish them (but actually all are pretty good so far) – skip to loafer, heavenly delusion, spy x family s2, apothecary diaries, jujutsu kaisen s2, frieren: beyond journey’s end, vinland saga s2

[4uru]

Narcissistic art rant

Tw: anti cc

[I only take constructive criticism if u don't like/agree with my post either keep scrolling or *politely* express your opinion, i am a fragile little tea cup who doesn't like conflict and i will cry and overthink]

I know i might sound egotistical, but i don't like how any official art (the art posted by cc) of alastair carstairs looks.

I will 100% reblog an Alastair Carstairs fanart that maybe doesn't fit my vision of him, i wont criticise it or anything bc they did this from their heart. They were passionate about it. I will shut my mouth and appreciate the hell out of it. Also i know that my fanarts will also clash with some ppl's perception of him

But, I actually hate coming across official art of Thomas and Alastair, here are my reasons,

> the proportions are always wack on these two specifically for some reason. If y'all remember thr scarf one, i remember trying to figure out the proportions there, Alastair's arms were short and it just irks me. Bc ppl are paid for this. This isn't a fanart, this is a Commission prolly, and it just takes me out of the whole piece immediately.

>Thomas doesnt have a single, solo art that actually looks nice. One that i actually like started to bother me for some reason, so i tracked the proportions and his forehead was too big, and just the whole thing tuned me off from the piece.

He also has a chariot (?) fanart, (him on top of a chariot) and im sorry to say that was one of the fucking ugliest of Official art of thomas, his whole thing was off, it was a perspective drawing, and it just failed, his head looked to big, his face was stiffer than wood, his body' perspective made my brain hurt, it was just not good.

>for some reason only the alastair and thomas are non sensical (im talking their solo character drawings) like why is Alastair

Evilly reading a book? Why is thomas just flexing?? It makes no sense compared to the rest, matthew is laying there like a girl boss and that makes sense for him, like just these two are kinda awkwardly standing or sitting

> they make Alastair a twink. Theres nothing wrong with being a twink. But Alastair is literally a shadowhunter. An ACTIVE shadowhunter. And its not even that he looks like a twink compared to Thomas, no they actually make him a petite little boy. Wtf???? It feels like they are trying to put Alastair and Thomas in a heteronormative box. Doesn't help that almost the whole fandom agrees on the opinion that Alastair is the bottom. (Trust me i tried searching for bottom thomas lightwood....i found a barren land)

Their art feels forced to me...i dont feel jack shit. And these are my favourite fucking characters i have seen absolutely beginner stuff, and i have cried over it. I just dont feel anything when i look at these official arts.

Here ends my very narcissistic rant. At the end of the day...cc can just make characters and fuck em up, i will take them, put them.in a box and shake it violently until i like them.

I will have to say, i love the coloring of these fanarts, even the ones that make me want to die, but yeah the drawing is just not there, they feel hollow and wonky, and i dont care how smooth and cool the colors looks when it feels completely emotionless.

[cheapcheapfaker]

In case you were wondering about my mudroom bathroom (as one does) i never ended up doing the paint accent wall: my thought was, with how the pedestal sink itself was off-center (and even the stem of it or whatever its called is at a slightly off 45 degree angle. why???) that a bunch of lines would, well, bring out the off-centeredness. I’m going to hold off putting my gallery wall back up and enjoy the color for a bit. (I found Beethoven on the side of the road. He is my angry, heavy son and if he even falls off that wobbly cabinet he will kill anyone via blunt force trauma taking a dump below.) Anyway, very happy with my punchy yellow bathroom and GIANT new mirror. I mean. Look at this old horseshit frameless oval:

That’s garbage. that’s a garbage mirror. (Can you see how the real estate pic very carefully cropped this so you couldn’t see how wonky it all was? How the base is facing the photographer despite the sink itself going the other way? How they were clearly like ‘what if we hung this mirror stupid so nobody knows joshua was higher than giraffe dick when installing the sink?’) Home Depot builder grade beveled ass... anyway… I’m not going to waste a perfectly good mirror, but faking a frame is much harder on oval shapes. I also have minimal tools and an uncovered concrete slab that barely fits an SUV as my outdoor work space, and i am also very stupid. My solution? BALLS.

After a brief, scary stint where i realized i had to use calculus to find the circumference of the mirror, and probably shouldn’t have spent most of my energy in high school and college finagling and scamming my way to not take it, i realized i was right all along and just used the internet to calculate and buy the perfect amount of balls. I painted one (1) ball white before going “this is dumb as hell” and used spray paint instead. The zz plant posed next to it is not for an instagram aesthetic, but because i had to hit it with a hammer cause i potted it in there raw. always use a liner kids.

Anyway. I glued it on with my one true love, liquid nails. I’ll probably rearrange my mirror wall over my dresser to accommodate it, or use it elsewhere in the house. tune in next time for rama’s diy adventures.

[thequeenofsodor]

Rebecca.

OOOOH HO HO HERE WE GO I like Rebecca a lot. I think the way they implemented her into the show was clumsy at best, but I’m of the opinion that on paper at least, she’s a great presence among the cast. I love her optimism! And, honestly the fact that they put a streamlined Bullied Pacific into the show to begin with was enough to steal my heart. Its a class I’d wanted in the show for a long time, basically as soon as I learned that it existed and what its history was. The fact they introduced her as essentially Gordon’s understudy and poised her as the second Express Engine was also something that appealed to me, and given how often the concept came up in fanon, I’m sure it would have been to most other fans if it weren’t for all the BWBA about it! Last but not least, I have a soft spot for all the girl engines in general, probably a result of Underlying Gender Stuff on my end, haha. I’m going to be extremely controversial and say that even though the livery is stupid, I think it’s fine. Well, that’s a lie actually, I’d want to fix it by removing the stupid NWR lettering on the tender and putting her number there in its place. But otherwise... I’ve tried coming up with so many alt liveries for her (most of which are just the actual Bullied Pacific paint scheme but in Yellow/Red) but none of them feel quite right. I might not be trying hard enough I suppose, but I think the weird sunrise/sunset colors work. It might also be that I’m being biased because it reminds me of like, a bizzaro version of the Southern Pacific Daylight livery though, which is very striking and cool. I wouldn’t say her design is “good” overall, especially considering her CGI Model is a hot mess of reused assets and wonky proportions, but I think that overall, the yellow is not irredeemable.

I also feel like her episodes were somewhat stunted by the fact she never really faces any kind of harsh adversities. She wins Gordon’s respect basically over the course of her first day, and her first outing with the Troublesome Trucks is a subversion for the sake of subversion that feels very much like an unfinished rough draft. I feel like they wanted to go in a kind of a Squirrel Girl direction with her, where she comes out of any given situation the victor by being a genuinely nice person, but I think she needed to be put in some more compelling or dangerous conflicts for that to really work. I want to see her put into a real crisis! She would have been an excellent character to pair with Diesel for an episode, or really any other sufficiently antagonistic character. Hell, to go whole hog with the Squirrel Girl idea, why not have her defuse a DOTD-style coup by Diesel 10 just by talking to him and being a good friend? Really, I would have taken anything that was both exciting and funny, as opposed to... what we actually got.

I think a lot of people are dismissive of her just because she was a (seeming) result of the BWBA rebrand, and all that “rebecca and nia replaced henry and edward!! the woke feminist sjws are taking over!!!!” garbage. She’s not perfect in execution by any means but I think she has a lot of potential for dynamics and development that gets overlooked. I’ll need to remember to write up a bullet-points style HC post for her at some point because I have a good few of those, lol.

[casual-shadows-writing-lounge]

Content: Fluff, Small angst (Leona brain being mean to himself) Father Leona, Named child oc(Minenhle), reader insert, Leona referred to as Baba and Reader Zaza. Reader and Leona are written to be married. Placed after graduation from NRC. Ambiguous if Minenhle is bio, adopted, or some magically created baby.

Reader info: They/Them pronouns, gender neutral with neutral terms (spouse, parent, partner.) no bodily mentions (size, color, ect), no hair mentions. Reader characterized as playful with Minenhle and teasing with Leona.

Leona wasn't asleep. He laid in his bed, eyes closed, head buried into his lavish pillows. He didn't have the energy to move. The past few days were no good and it was really tempting to just sleep away the day. A familiar weight and movement drew his attention. Cheka used to do this all the time but now he was too big to be the intruder this time. Leona suppressed an amused sound attempting to appear to be still asleep. The intruder crawled on the bed and pushed their hands on the blanket that covered Leona's back.

"Baba!" they chirp, trying to shake Leona 'awake'. He faked a snore. They sighed and crawled onto his back. Leona smiled into the pillow before rolling over with a big faux yawn and stretch.

"I could have sworn I heard someone calling to me. It must have been a dream. Oh well, back to sleep," Leona hummed rolling back over.

"It's me, Baba,"

"Sorry I don't know someone named Baba."

"You are Baba'"

Leona swivels his ear to show he's listening, "I am?"

"Yeah!" Leona's sight gets covered as his daughter leaned over his shoulder to look at him.

"And your Minenhle?" Leona asks.

"Yes,"

"I don't know a Minenhle," Leona smiles as Minenhle gives an offended gasp. His daughter gives him a soft slap on his cheek and a huff.

"Zaza wanted me to tell you to come eat but now I'll eat ALL the meat and you only get veggies," Minenhle jumps off the bed and runs out the room. Making sure she closed the door to further slow her father down. Leona felt the weariness settle back in. He turned his thoughts to his partner and Minenhle. The fact they were waiting for him for breakfast. Or was it lunch? He's lost enough time. He decided to push himself out of the bed, not bothering to pick up the blankets that fell to the floor.

He spied clothes set up for him. It must have been them that set them out. His lovely spouse. Not the servants, they kept trying to stuff him in stuffy clothes. Half awake he'd peeked at his partner, swapping out the clothes for more comfortable attire. He never mentioned it but appreciates it. He shrugged out of his pajamas and into his day clothes. He trudged out of the room into the hall. No servants were around which was in a way normal for them, at least normal for Leona. Even after his spouse moved in and the arrival of their daughter they still shook in fear.

Leona couldn't hold himself to care anymore about how people spoke of him. His partner, Minenhle and he supposed Cheka should be included as well. Adored him and whipped him into what he was now. His thoughts drifted to Minenhle's arrival. He could laugh at how shaky and anxious he was.

- - - -

His tail flicked in nervous agitation. Leona stood looking in a mirror. His braids were freshly done but he was tempted to regroom his name of hair. He started removing the bands holding the braid together but he realized. 

-Why am I preening myself like I'm going to a high class outing. A baby isn't going to care if I'm disheveled or not," Leona thought before rebanding the braid leaving the end a little wonky.

-What if they would?- Leona huffs hastily, taking down his braids and redoing them.

He's not desperate for an infant to like him. Hell he's not sure he'd like them all that much. He debated with himself before dressing casual. He gussied up his hair so his clothes can be lackluster. 

Leona walked as fast as he could push himself to go. He didn't want to be beaten by Cheka to see his own child. Cheka seemed to be more excited to see his cousin than Leona to see his child. It was sort of true. Leona was far more afraid of himself possibly being a failure of a father than excited to be one.

Leona spies fiery hair passing and he recognizes Cheka sprinting down the hall.

"Hey, Cheka" Leona drones and his nephew spun around with a bright smile on his face. A gift bag in his hands

"Yes Uncle LeLe?" Cheka grew out of calling him 'Unca' but just swapped to a new childish name. Cheka had a big growth spurt coming up to mid chest opposed to just coming up to his hip.

"What's that?" Leona asks, pointing off to the side. Cheka immediately looks towards the direction. He diligently looked at the floor and halfway up the wall for whatever his uncle saw. Leona took this to sneak pass his nephew and make leeway.

His partner was first to see their child before being sequestered to a private guest room to hide from snooping servants. Leona felt smug seeing Farena and his sister-in-law outside the door. They hadn't been allowed to see his child before him.

"Leona, they've been waiting for you. They want to name her with you."

His sister-in-law was the one to speak but Leona didn't react. He has a daughter?

"Open up, it's the father," Leona knocked. A rising dread seems to fill his chest first during the silence before the door opens. A meerkat beastman doctor lets him in before excusing herself. Both the doctor and his wife had to pull Farena away from the door to prevent him from attempting to catch a peek of the baby.

Leona closes the door then makes his way to his spouse. They sat in an armchair, a bundle in their arms. It was so small, the bundle. Leona almost couldn't believe that it was an infant. His daughter.

Settling to his knees. Was he too big or her too small? Too fragile. Are his hands too strong? Are his nails too sharp? Would he tear this innocent being apart without meaning too. He's hurt people before. Could he hurt her?

He pulled some of the blanket back to see his daughter more clearly. Shouldn't he be overwhelmed with love and adoration? Isn't this what fathers are supposed to feel. It was what Farena described seeing Cheka. How the once annoying whoops of joy are now back in a new mocking form.

-You're a lacking father. A lacking partner. You don't deserve this. You can't deserve this-

She was asleep. Peaceful and unknowing of her father's turmoil. Plump, healthy infant, just a tad small. Leona flinched as his spouse moved, knowing what's next.

"Dove, I can't." "Yes, you can."

"I'll hurt her." "That's something you can't do. You wouldn't allow yourself to do that."

Leona didn't respond. He stiffened as his spouse leaned the baby on him and adjusted his arms to hold her properly. His sister-in-law has been giving lessons to them but Leona was too wired to attend.

Ears twitched from under the blanket letting one small ear escape. She yawns, only gums. Leona vaguely remembered that Cheka didn't open his eyes right away.

"Talk to her."

Leona settled onto his heels, careful not to jostle the babe in his arms. What do you say to a baby? Leona settled on introducing himself.

"Hey. I'm your father. I like meat," Leona winches from how awkward that was. Who is he right now, Idia Shroud?

The babe twitches her free ear before giving a gurgle laugh. Leona looked at the other parent in the scenario.

"Did I say something funny?".

"She likes your voice, Leo. I like daddy's voice too," Leona sighs as his partner tickled their daughter's stomach through the blanket.

Leona curses letting his guard down.

"I wanted you to name her," they waited for him to resign himself before continuing, " I know you're having a hard time feeling like you'd connect with her so I thought this would help."

Leona understood and later down the line would appreciate the thoughtfulness. Now he's a wreck.

A few seconds felt like hours before Leona said the first name that came to him.

"Minenhle,"

They repeat the name while laying their hand on her. There was a knock briefly before Cheka came in bag on one arm and something clenched in the opposite hand.

"Hi!" He said walking in without closing the door. Farena was once again pulled away by his wife and the doctor.

Cheka basically bounced over. Leona eyes him as he hands the bag to his spouse and something to him. A painted wooden bead. Leona quirked an eyebrow.

"It's what I found where you pointed."

Leona pockets the bead. The rushles as it's opened Leona turned to see what Cheka got for his cousin when he felt a tug. Minenhle grasped his braid. It must have brushed against her as he turned and she grabbed it.

"Do you like my hair? You better I made it all fancy for ya." Minenhle gave it another tug.

A baboon obscured his sight. He leaned back taking in the plush toy that was bigger than his daughter. Cheka seemed proud of it. Later learned he used his own allowance to buy it.

"Uncle LeLe can I hold her?"

Leona was hesitant that Cheka would hurt her. He barely trusted himself. A hand on his shoulder relaxed him. He halfheartedly told him to sit in the chair. Cheka plopped down excitedly in the chair. Leona watched his spouse walk to the door probably to tell Farena to wait a minute more. He guided Cheka the same way he was. Minenhle supported and laying on Cheka's chest.

The door opens, not knocking and Farena let's himself in.

"Where's my beautiful niece!"

Sister-in-law laughed, his spouses sighed. Leona made eye contact with the baboon.

- - - -

Leona pulled off his blanket swinging his feet off the bed and rested on the floor. Minenhle has been colicky. Leona watched his spouse use all their energy to care for her. They were tired. Weeks of bare minimum. Leona looked over to them. His hand trailing their shoulder. He sighed relieved they were not woken by the cries. He stood up and left for the nursery.

He notes that someone beat him to the room. Minenhle has lungs, that's for sure. Cheka leaded over the crib wall. He spoke something to Minenhle that Leona couldn't quite catch.

"Did you need something?" Leona asks not to sound so gruff and agitated as he did.

"I heard her crying and wanted to help," Cheka looked up to his uncle. Leona picked his daughter. His ears flatten to attempt to block out some of the noise.

"Go to bed, Cheka. I don't need your father to admonish me for your choices." Leona let Cheka cling to him in a hug. Cheka says good night, placing a chaste kiss on Minenhle's head between her ears.

Cheka scampers away from the room back to his own.

"What upsets you so much? Is it because you still can't eat meat? Not a single tooth." Leona thought talking to Minenhle might help. She likes the deep tones. The rumble it brings to his chest. It doesn't seem to be enough.

Leona paces, attempting to rock her the way he's seen his spouse and sister-in-law do.

He circled the room. He rocked, bounced, and rubbed her back. Eventually he laid down on a hammock. It was hung next to a bookcase. A place for laying in during tummy time. Swaying and reading to Minenhle.

-Good for brain development. Languages learning and identifying caregivers.- Leona remembers someone saying that. Was it Kifaji? Possibly

Settling Minenhle on his chest right over his head; he reached over, swiping the first book he could grasp. He looked at figuring it was better than not doing anything. Flicking on the little lamp of the bookcase, shaped into a lantern flower, he began reading.

-

"But we're friends and that's a fact." Leona reads the final line. He shut the book, feeling a little ridiculous for having read it. He lightly tossed it onto the bookcase and a hand found Minenhle's back. She was in a restful sleep. Something Leona would not mind joining.

- - - -

Leona knocked off the memories as he registered that his name was being called. His spouse looked at him concerned and he smiled reassuringly. He noted that the food set out was untouched.

"I thought you were going to eat all the meat? Seems like there's some for me? Perhaps you'll be the one eating veggies." Leona noted. He didn't question Cheka sitting next to Minenhle. He had started eating with them instead of his father.

"I'd be rude to eat it all on Father's day. It was just to get you to move your butt," Minenhle jests. Leona didn't want to admit he had forgotten the date.

"Right I knew that," he lied.

Cheka leaned down to pick up something set in the chair next to him. He came up with something that looked akin to a crown.

"Hlele wanted to make it for you. I helped a little," Cheka beamed and Leona plucked it from his hands. He gave it a cursory glance before plopping it on his head.

"Thanks," Leona says sitting next to his partner. Leaning towards them, cheek tilted towards them. A sign he wanted a kiss. He leaned against the back of the chair satisfied when he got it.

"I wanted to make it look like that because you remind me of that prince from the story book. The lion prince with the snake." Minenhle couldn't recall the story name.

Leona filed through his brain before she recognized what she was talking about.

"Change of plans," he stands from his chair, "you're now lunch." He held his hands out in mock claws before stalking towards her. Minenhle slid off the chair crawling out the other side of the table.

"Don't run from me. You should have paid your taxes."

Leona just strolled after her hands in his pockets. She'll tire herself out then he can eat.

"You should eat what meat you want before they return. They're like black holes," Cheka nods at the advice and starts making his plate.

- - - -

Bonus:

"Zaza, why does Baba call you, Dove?"

They glanced at their sleeping husband

"He told me a while ago before we got married that "I flew into his life and wouldn't leave". At first he called me Flying Rat or Batty. Then Birdie. Finally Dove after we got married."

Minenhle giggled as Leona sat up putting an arm around their waist before flopping down, trapping them into his arms. Minenhle crawled over one parent to squeeze between them.

"Said you wouldn't tell them." Leona pouted eyes closed.

"I said I'd think about it, no promises were made." They placed a kiss on Leona's nose. Leona's face scrunched before relaxing.

"Yeah, yeah. Go to sleep." Leona says no malice in his tone.