#even like going to France isn’t necessarily something I’m crazy about doing even when I took French in high school

[zweikometen]

I think maybe. Just because I have a privilege doesn’t mean I should feel compelled to use it.

[lightthewaybackhome]

Sorry this is so long. Probably should have done a 2 parter.

"My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!" - Aunt Frances, Practical Magic

 

My whole life, as far back as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be artistic. I’ve wanted to create. I love beauty. I love artistry. I love creation. I love the artsy look: jewelry, tattoos, flowing clothing, and funky hair. It is a personal aesthetic I keep returning to, especially as I get older. As a child, I tried so many different forms of art—painting, photography, drawing— but none of them seemed quite right. None of them got what was in my head out. All of them fell short until I started writing. Writing was a flame, a fire, a drug. Writing allowed me to express what was in my imagination. This is the first thing to understand.

Everyone is artistic and art is everywhere. I’ve believed this as long as I can remember. There are amazing artistic feats in our world: books, movies, video games, paintings, sculptures, and magnificent pieces of music. Yes, art can be very high and very special. But, art can also be found in charcuterie boards, homemade quilts, sourdough bread, cocktails, soup, and all ordinary things if we but look and see. Art can be high magic and art can be ordinary. This is the second thing to understand.

As I’ve embraced being a homemaker, a HearthKeeper, a woman where she’s meant to be, I came across the term domestic artist. As much as I didn’t like the book Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle, it gave me this. It gave me the term domestic artist. That stuck with me. It spoke to me because it captured both the first and the second thing. It captured the never-ceasing call to create which haunts me at all times, and it elevated and honored the ordinary in a sprinkling of fairy dust. It said, “Yes, you have to cook today. Three meals plus snacks and drinks. It’s your job, but, but, what if, what if instead of looking at it as some drudgery, some Cinderella enslavement, what if you looked at it as an opportunity to create beauty?”

Not every meal, every outfit, every moment of your day can be a work of art. Some days you just have to do what you have to do. Some days get upended in the opening credits with a broken washer or a sleepless child. Some days plans change. Life changes. One minute life looks like this, and then the next it’s on to something completely different. But, the beauty of being a domestic artist is that you can create art in any of these moments and in any setting. You can find art in any moment and in any setting.

See, the world tells us that homemaking, HearthKeeping, is boring. It tells us it’s pointless. A waste. You could be changing the world. Only dumb useless women keep their homes. And that’s because they’re either tied down by a dictator of a husband or the demands of children or the cultural trappings of their religion. Courage, dear heart. Courage! Homemaking is magic. Homemaking is flexible. Homemaking changes with the seasons and the woman. I, I am a bit bohemian, a bit rustic, a mixture of rugged and romantic. I grew up a tomboy, but have embraced being a woman in her home since I was a child. I love leather and lace. I love cottage-witch aesthetics. I love boots and long flowing things. I like deer heads, linen, skulls, and ruffles. I like feathers and dreamcatchers, but I also love to decorate with open space. I love pies and feeding my husband. But, look at this, one of my best friends is a classic. She loves clean lines, traditional and timeless pieces. She loves modern accents. She loves beachy highlights and hammocks. She’s not into farmhouse, rustic modern, or raw-edged wood. On any given Sunday, she’s in a pencil skirt, simple top, simple heels with her three daughters in matching dresses while I’m in distressed boyfriend jeans, a mullet-tucked top, and wearing my crow skull. We’re very different, but we’re both homemakers who love making our homes.

I have a woman in my life who quilts and that flows out into their decorating. So many of her things are beautifully hand sewn. If she wants it, she makes it. Another friend grew up in Africa and her home is filled with her love of that culture. One dear friend loves plants and grows amazing flowers that she uses to create Instagram-worth bouquets. Another woman isn’t super fluffy-feminine but she has an eye for remodeling and so is constantly making improvements on her home: flooring, painting, and more. My sisters, like me, both enjoy a minimalist approach to decorating and all three of us have a special place for coffee. Both my sisters’ homes are welcoming and peaceful even with kids running around like crazy.

That’s the point, the world tells women to band together, that we’re a sisterhood, that we should go out and change the world, abandoning our homes before we’re relegated to only kitchen and nursery work, but reality tells me that the most amazing women I know are busy in their homes. This is sisterhood. This is where we bloom. It is here that we have flexibility. For over five years, I’ve struggled with chronic health issues. Homemaking lets me decide each day what I can do and how I’m going to do it. Homemaking lets you change what you do for each season of life. Lots of littles? Keep it simple. Empty nest? Explore. Somewhere in between? Keep growing. Lots of energy? So many things you can expand into if you just refuse to believe the lie that homemaking is beneath you. Don’t be normal. Don’t believe that homemaking is a waste of time. Don’t buy into the lie that you are somehow being less than everyone else when you raise your children, love your husband, and create beauty. Have the courage to be strange. We were made for this! It suits us. This is an environment women thrive in.

When I got over my grammar inhibitions and started writing, I felt like my soul came alive. I felt like I’d finally found what I’d been searching for since I came into this world. It doesn’t matter whether I’m writing an epic story or writing about HearthKeeping or just word doodling, writing, words, stories just flow from me. Wonderfully, homemaking is like that for me, too. I want to read books, I want to learn, I want to talk about it, I want to do it. It’s not perfect. I don’t always feel glorious, but I do feel ‘right’ when I’m doing this. I feel like I’m where I belong. I feel like this is a place I can both rest in and grow in. I feel safe when I’m having a fatigue flare up and I feel excited when I think about all that I can do.

A real-life example: Sundays are long hard days. They’re days that generally spike my fatigue and my husband is worn out. They’re both the best and hardest day of the week. When we get home I make a cocktail and we crash. Inevitably, the minute I sit down my man asks for a snack and what we’re having for dinner. For several years, this drove me up a wall. It is Sunday. The day of REST, why is it my responsibility to always make food? Epic sigh. Epic whiny sigh. I would meal plan for the whole week and then wing it on Sunday and Monday, always with poor results and grumpiness on my part. Then, one week as I meal-planned, I realized that I could also prepare for the weekend. Lightbulb. Facepalm. Really? Why had it taken me into my 40th year of life to realize that if I want a quiet, restful, happy weekend, I should just plan snacks, drinks, and meals ahead of time? I’m going to blame it on my chronic health, brain fog addled mind. I’m going to blame it on laziness. I’m going to blame it on being a young homemaker. Some are understandable, some are inexcusable.

Sundays now involve way less stress because I can immediately prepare snacks and know what we’re eating the minute we get home. No more attitude issue. No more stress. Easy and nice.

Did this change the world? Does this matter to anyone but myself? Did my husband even notice? Maybe not, but this is homemaking. This is HearthKeeping. It is my job and my calling. Even without notice or world-shattering consequences, I’m pleased with the outcome. More than pleased, I’m really happy about it. It brings me joy and delight to find a better way to take care of my family. It allows me to sprinkle my Sunday afternoon with just a little bit of artistry. I make drinks, snacks, dinner. I feed my family.

See, one of the lies that the feminists preach is that we’re wasted in our homes. And yet, the majority of the women I know who work outside the home aren’t doing glamorous jobs. They’re not travel bloggers or world-renowned chiefs or CEOs. They’re cosmetologists, retail workers, bank tellers, nurses, teachers, and such. Now, none of those are bad. Working outside the home isn’t bad. (I think each family has to decide what family looks like to them.) Please, please, don’t read that as degrading. I worked retail and I think retail is important. These are all God-honoring employment in which you can strive and serve. I’m not bashing any of those jobs. I have many many dear friends who work outside the home. What I am saying is that I think we as women need to ask ourselves if leaving our homes en masse was worth it. Has it given us all the joy, delight, and fulfillment the feminists promised us?

I’ve done both. I’ve been a co-owner of a business that I helped grow from nothing to something amazing. I’ve worked as an everyday retail worker. I write and am the main editor for a small neighborhood magazine. And I’m a HearthKeeper. I will tell you right now, no qualifications, that HearthKeeping is the most satisfying job I’ve ever had. It not only challenges me every day but it also works with me. The boundaries are what I set in place and so I grow as I can. The work never ends, yes, but it also never ends. There is always something else to explore.

I think being a homemaker is largely attitude. You can buck against what you do, and most women do. Just spend two minutes on Pinterest looking at doing laundry or dishes and the bitter hatred comes pouring out. Look at the complaints women make against their churches: we’re relegated to doing nursery work and kitchen duty. What if, just for a moment, we decided to be Domestic Artists? What if, for just a moment, we tried loving our jobs instead of complaining? What if we thought that dishes meant food and good times and healing of the souls around us? What if we saw laundry as a way to keep beauty and cleanliness around us? What if we saw it as our privilege and delight to take care of the food, children, clothing, cleaning, cooking, gardening, growing of the next generation, and the men of the world? What if we embraced the domestic arts and saw them as truly magnificent, glorious, unique arts? How many of us would be able to say with a straight face that working retail is more fulfilling than managing a small world? Is it more fulfilling to go work in an office than it is to orchestrate a place of welcome, rest, and renewal for your husband and yourself? It might be more visible, but is it truly more long-lasting?

I can say that it isn’t. I can say that I think being a homemaker is uniquely suited for women and that we should have the courage to go against the grain of our world and say no. No, I’m not going to give all of myself to work outside the home when the home is far more challenging and interesting. No, I’m not going to believe the lie that homemaking is oppression and boredom. I will find beauty in the ordinary and I will embrace art in the everyday. This is one of those amazing jobs where it is what you make it. It is what you pour into it. If you think it’s boring or demeaning you won’t get anything out of it. If you think it is challenging and rewarding, you will get the world out of it. You will grow yourself and those around you. Think about what a wonderful thing it would be if we made our homes our careers! If we women really took on the label Domestic Artist in our own individual ways.

[stillgeekingout]

thoughts on reputation by lex croucher

first my non-spoilery thoughts (mostly non-spoilery. light spoilers for tone and general content): this book was so good and also SO STRESSFUL. haha. if you’re going into it expecting a light read, this isn’t it, but it’s incredibly funny (like seriously so so funny, there was probably at least one phrase or sentence on every page that gave me a little chuckle inside) and has a lot of really important things to say. and the stress does pay off for a very cathartic ending. you’re gonna suffer, but you’re gonna be happy about it etc.

honestly the two things I care the most about in books these days are if they’re funny and if they have characters that I care about. this supremely delivered on both counts. I really loved every single one of the characters (I mean, except the ones you’re supposed to hate, obviously. it does a very good job making you hate them). the third thing I care about is friendship narratives and hoo boy was there a lot of that too.

it gets compared to bridgerton a lot and I haven’t seen bridgerton, so I can’t speak to that, but I don’t think I would like bridgerton based on what I’ve heard of it and I really liked this. make of that what you will, I guess. it also gets compared to mean girls a lot and I think that’s very accurate, if mean girls as a narrative was kinder to its characters (including the plastics) and actually let characters be gay in a nuanced way. and if mean girls did a better job developing the love interest so we care about him and the romance part of the plot. similar to mean girls, if you’re going to be really bothered by secondhand embarrassment, this might not be the book for you. it’s not quite as pronounced but it is there, and I did squirm through a few scenes. this didn’t subtract from my enjoyment but it might for some people. The other content warnings are here for anyone who wants to know what I mean by heavy material: https://www.lexcroucher.co.uk/reputation-cw

Now time for my spoiler-filled thoughts under the cut!!

So I knew going into this that it would be too much drugs and alcohol content for me, a known prude, but that being said I thought it was handled really well and I liked that the narrative had things to say about doing things in excess / requiring that stuff to be able to have fun. and thomas’s whole thing was really thoughtfully handled.

Georgiana cracked me up the whole time with her naivety. I do think part of the embarrassment of this book for me was how much she reminded me of my younger clueless self, being inexperienced in everything and scandalized by everything. I also reeeeally related to the whole “this person is friend-shaped, be my friend be my friend be my friend”-ness of her. And I’m always a sucker for a “female character is very flawed and honestly kinda shitty to her friends but learns to be a better person over the course of the narrative” story.

I LOVE BETTY. I call being #1 betty walters fan. I get crazy when I latch onto a character, all I do is wait for them to make a next appearance and scream about it when they do. But anyway I just want to say that I loved betty from her first scene and I’m so glad george finally caught on. I was initially scared that it was going to go more the route of like, george is mean to betty in the climax and then realizes she has to apologize because she feels bad for her, but the fact that they became actual genuine close friends on top of that made me very very happy. No matter what else I say please know betty was my absoluuute favorite character, I’m obsessed with her, I would die for her, etc.

This book honestly just kept subverting what I thought was going to happen. I did not see the end coming at all, particularly with the way the jeremiah plot went. It reminded me a lot of Oklahoma (the musical) and a lot of… real life lol. but yeah it was v good and I’m proud of george.

I really did not expect to get very attached to thomas. Usually when a book is a friendship book with romance also in there, I get very very wrapped up in the friendship parts and then only sort of care about the romantic lead. And it did start that way when george was initially obsessing over him, I kept just kind of being like “ok he’s here, sure”. But lex gave us a kindhearted emotions boy, which is honestly the best kind of boy, and he plays piano and his dad is nice and he keeps george in check about being a kind friend? Heck yeah. The LETTERS?? YES. listen my favorite book is ella enchanted and ever since then, any romance that involves witty written correspondence is automatically in my good books. also he has the benedick energy of like, unquestionably supporting women over his sketchy friends and that’s Always good.

I loved each of the friends in different ways, and I am a little sad that we didn’t get much closure on Cecily and Jonathan in particular, but I do understand why it ended the way that it did and I appreciate Georgiana realizing that these were never really going to be her People. That’s a really cool thing that I don’t see a lot in stories. Usually either they make friends for life, or it turns out that the group were Bad People and that’s why they go their separate ways. So the fact that it was like “no, I think they are good people and I care for them deeply, but our ways of life are just never going to be compatible in the long run so I’m just going to appreciate them in my periphery from now on” was a really nuanced take and something that I think is truer to reality.

Let’s Talk About Frances. Frances intrigued the hell out of me because I never knew what the heck she was going to do next. I do always love a bitchy woman with secret emotions and after the first vulnerable sleepover scene, in my mind I already felt like I knew where frances’s arc might be going. But lord I did NOT! It’s really really interesting to have a book that follows so many tropes of other stories but at the same time goes in completely different directions. I would’ve read a whole bunch more about frances and her emotions and her parents and her trauma, and I really hope jane is helping her heal from all that and also be less of a jerk to everyone, and if anyone is writing the “jane and frances heal from trauma and become better people together” fic I am soooo there. I’m glad we at least got the confirmation that she believes george, that she got the satisfaction of telling off jeremiah, that she’s living with jane, and that her parents have separated at least for the time being. But yeah I think in a lesser book, frances would’ve been reduced to like “the regina george” and not necessarily given all the nuances that she had, and I really appreciated how much she felt like a rounded-out person with a lot of her own shit going on. I am sad that she and george had to end the way they did, but again, it makes sense for the narrative and I’m glad they’re at least on good enough terms that she’s going to go to the wedding.

I do think there were some things that were left loose (george bringing up donating to the poor was never addressed again, frances’s parents are barely addressed again which surprised me after the mrs. walters bit, etc) but now that I’m finished with it and not waiting for certain loose ends to be tied, I think that’s kind of the point. that sometimes things just end without closure. sometimes you just move on from people and you don’t get to change them in the way you wanted to.

I probably have a bunch more to say but the main thing is that every single character in this book felt extremely three dimensional to me, and that is a Really hard thing to pull off and it has made me even more excited to read all of lex’s future books. Came for the humor, stayed for the insanely well-developed characters.

[magiefish]

hhhhhhhhhh guess who drew all the batim characters in prep for the comic they’re making!

yeah so it took like 4 days to draw all these guys, and it was actually pretty fun figuring out colours and designs and stuff!

(also, update on the Reveries Twisted comic, I have a plan for the first chapter but i have like, 7 tests next week and I haven’t started drawing it yet so it’s definitely not going to be coming out anytime soon sdfgsdfsj but i am still working on it!)

anyway, i felt like writing little descriptions for every character, so feel free to read these below the ‘keep reading’ line if you feel like it! My ask box is also always open, so if u have any questions feel free to ask

Bertrum Piedmont-he/him, gay/ace

-Started working as a mechanic at about 15 and worked his way up from there -Everyone in the studio @ him: why are u british -His big ego often gets in the way of things, but at his core he's a good person (doing bad shit but ultimately having good intentions is common among these guys shdgfs) -Wlw & mlm solidarity w/ Lacie, who is his most trusted confidant and friend -Actually treats his employees well, even when they do basically nothing all day, so he does a lot of work himself most of the time Linda Stein-she/her, straight as a ruler -Parents immigrated from Spain -She's very catholic and very into 'traditional family values' and that sort of stuff -She is sweet, but her strict morals and black and white ethics often make her do unintentional harm -She is also pretty oblivious to most things Jack Fain-he/him & they/them, pan/ace, OCD -Mother immigrated from China to France, and then he moved to America, it's confusing -Can play the violin really well, but is terrible at composing his own pieces -Peak friend material -Short and round and soft with a love of a good espresso -Kind and quiet but ultimately ineffective and happy to watch from the sidelines Daniel 'Buddy' Lewek-he/him, aro/ace, autistic, jewish -He is curious and observant, but very very naive -He finds it hard to pick up on social cues, and tends to daydream a lot -Never really had a father figure, and unfortunately kind of half sees Joey as one (baaaad choice), but his mother is great -Loves drawing and tends to chew on pens (and most objects really) -Too young Susie Campbell-she/her, demi -Her parents were Russian and she picked up their accent, but taught herself how to cover it up. She is now excellent at voice acting. -Has a birthmark most theatres turned her away for. But luckily voice acting gave her another chance at performance, and the music department really does not care about it. -Her dad was a butcher, so she now knows a concerning amount about how to cut up and dissect meat. -She gets easily attached to things emotionally, and has a whole pile of random bits and bops she keeps on her person because she can't throw them away. -Naive, but smart enough to know how to read and deceive people if needed. Ms Abigail Lambert-she/her, lesbian -A very gifted artist, who is quite frustrated with the business aspect of animation. -Picked up quite a few things about engineering from Lacie. -Stern, but kind. Motherly, if she likes you and you squint hard enough. -Used to fighting for things. -Giving her food is a pretty good way to get her to like you. Being an artist, she forgets to eat at the correct times a lot, so a meals always appreciated. Norman Polk-he/him, gay, albino -Knows how to fix things, knows how to fight, knows how to hide -General cool uncle vibes -He watches people a lot, and gives off some creepy vibes, but he does genuinely care about people -Knows something is up and is determined to find out what (even if he dies trying) -Fought in WW1, then worked at a cinema for a bit. Emma Lamont-she/her, heteroflexible -Keep dancing even when everything goes wrong -Bit of a 'i'm better than these fools' mentality going on -But she's pretty chill, and willing to act when needed -Basically every woman in the studio knows her on the basis that she chills in the girls bathroom. -Hates Joey, but knows those who stir up a bit too much trouble usually 'resign' Sammy Lawrence-he/him, (vocal-romantic) bi/ace, ADD -His dad sucked, so he ran away. He's also the reason he's largely abandoned his faith, but he still holds hope that there is some kind of god out there. -He and Jack are basically brothers, they've known each other for a long time. -He can compose music in his head, but can play basically every instrument. -Tall and thin and sharp with a love of black coffee. -He's actually pretty chill and nice, but the conditions of the studio (workload, noises, dreams) have left him quick to snap and a stressed out mess. -He's pretty oblivious to his own feelings and spends basically all his time thinking about music, so he usually only realises that he has a crush on someone if he hears them singing (hence the vocal-romantic joke) Johnny Hart-he/him (she/her), gay (trans), heart condition -A nervous wreck who avoids everything and everyone -Trans but doesn't realise it, he thinks this level of discomfort has something to do with his heart condition or something like that. -Speaking of which, if he gets genuinely terrified or panicked he could have a heart attack. -Hence why he's a recluse who remains in the organ room and interacts w/ literally no one. -Except Dot and Buddy (who forgets he exists and who he also has a crush on). Wally Franks-he/him, pan -Friends with literally everyone who isn't one of the older folks (and thomas) -Honorary member of the music department because he can play a harmonica and vibes with everyone there. -Tries to put a positive spin on everything, often beyond the point of reason -A mischevous, mildly selfish prankster with a heart of gold -Gossip pals with Susie and Norman The Violinist-she/her, nobody knows -Has literally never expressed an emotion ever -Seems to know things are going to happen before they happen -Just generally pretty weird -She isn't friends with Dot, they're both just vaguely interested in what the others doing -She looks a lot like Allison, but the two have never spoken and nobody knows if they're sisters Thomas Connor-they/them, gynephilia -He is just. So tired. -An actual mechanical genius who gets his work used for the wrong purposes. -Is very of the 'when you're on a path stick to it' mentality -Cold and hard exterior that vertually no one except Allison has ever managed to get through. -He can and will beat you up. Henry Stein-he/him, gay, vitiligo -Nice and hardworking. -Doesn't have many emotions other than to draw. -He's in fucking narnia he's so deep in the closest. -Feels emotions, but buries them deep down and doesn't express them too clearly. -Has difficulty setting healthy boundaries with people and represses himself far too much. Joey Drew-he/him, homoromantic/pansexual, bipolar disorder, alcohol and cigarette addictions -Chaotic, feral, short little man who lies to everyone -Charismatic as hell, but also a terrible friend and person in general -He doesn't blink enough, does not know the meaning of personal space, and hasn't aged for about 4 years, which are all very bad signs. -Doesn't understand how to run a business but does so anyway. Doesn't understand how to interact with people but does so anyway. Doesn't understand how to create life but does so anyway- -He isn't pure evil, he just gets into very bad mindsets and makes poor decisions that lead him down the wrongest way to go. -Does some self evaluation and goes 'maybe this wasn't the right way chief :/' just a bit too late Audrey Dempsey-she/her, lesbian, Borderline Personality Disorder -Feral conspiracy theorist -May or may not be related to multiple studio members -Everyone's called her crazy for years and made her feel like a burden, and she is hellbent on proving everyone wrong -Quite socially awkward, and rather sarcastic with a dark sense of humour -Works for Archgate Allison Pendle-she/her & they/them, androphilic/ace -Is forever lost in a vintage clothing store -Most people say she seems nice, but everyone just kind of subconciously registers that there is something up with her -Knows a lot about the supernatural -The person closest to Joey, which doesn't necessarily mean they're friends -Nobody has ever seen the right side of her face Dot Acciaci-she/her, pan -Her parents are Italian, and she speaks a little herself, usually using it to encrypt her private notes -Mischevious & curious, but ultimately kind -She will find out your secrets, and is very good at reading people -Great storyteller -Struggles with loneliness a lot Dr Eleanor Hackenbush-she/her, aro/ace -Science knows no bounds -Doesn't care what your motivation is, as long as you give her some cash and some experiments -Filled with nothing but utter spite Ms Reina Rodriguez-they/them, demi -Tired of everything -Although she puts up a calm exterior, Rodriguez is very attached to the studio and views it as her 'new family', having a terrible relationship with her old one -Her family drama connects to the fact they're very catholic, but she nobody knows what this drama is other than Joey Tessa Arch-she/her, straight -An absolute bitch -Trusts her husband far too much -Not very smart, but compensates for this for being good looking and rich Shawn Flynn-he/him (intersex), pan -Jovial, but gets angry quickly -Willing to do 'wrong' things if it helps someone else out, kind of like Robin Hood or something -His mother taught him how to sew and he helped her make clothes when he was younger -Found it hard to get a job because he's Irish, so despite being tired of all the bullshit of JDS, he is reluctant to look elsewhere -Friends with Lacie and Grant because they appreciate his humour Lacie Benton-She/her, lesbian, trans -Tougher than the toughies -wlw & mlm solidarity w/ Bertrum, who she views as one of the only genuinely smart people in JDS and who she has worked for for basically all of her life -Feels like something is up, but doesn't notice much if it doesn't connect to her work -Has automatophobia -Friend with Shawn and Grant because she respects their dedication to their work Grant Cohen-He/him, bi, depression, jewish -Absolute madlad at maths -Acts like he doesn't care what you think, cares far too much about what you think -Everyone wants him to just get therapy already -Doesn't have many friends, but has a weird 'we're both horribly overworked' kinship with Sammy, so they usually just chill and smoke together -Friends with Shawn and Lacie because they're actually mentally stable and he needs some rocks Nathan Arch-He/him, straight -You should hate him -You should hate him a lot -Super rich and doesn't pay his workers enough -Silver tongued -Basically a spider. Creates webs of manipulation and lies, sees a lot, and knows plenty about waiting for his prey to come to him.

[galvanizedfriend]

This may be a very biased question, however, who did Klaus truly love- Caroline or Cami? I absolutely adore Klaroline, but would they even had anything more if it wasn't for when Caroline visited NOLA in S5? I seems like Caroline was only brought to TO for fan service. Did Klaus love Cami more? I've been trying to understand, and the more I think about it, the more I get sad because #klaroline4ever. I need someone elses' thoughts!

Well, this may be a very biased answer (lol), but I never bought Klamille as a thing, so, obviously...

This isn't going to be very nice on Cami, in case anyone out there might find it offensive or whatever. I don't necessarily blame the character, though, I blame the writing. Klaus having a new romantic interest was never a bad thing in itself, it was the way they did it that never sailed.

To be fair, I think it's perfectly acceptable to believe that Klaus loved Cami. But that relationship was so wrong, for so many reasons, that I could never get past the awkwardness. Cami was a prop for male tears and exposition from almost the moment she came onto the show until her literal last breath (and the few times she made an appearance after that). She was the result of a very wrong attempt to try to reproduce the KC chemistry in TO to maybe get the fans to embrace this new ship, but it was so, so, so wrong... Joseph Morgan went from having chemistry with the walls and trees in TVD to not having a slight spark with the person who was supposed to be his romantic interest (whom he was pushing towards another guy all through season 1, awww... so romantic). Klaus would've been better off with Stefan.

Cami's supposed to be this moral compass on the show, the ~~kind-hearted, good, full of light~~ person (remind you of anyone? lol) who'll drag Klaus back into the path of redemption, but all she does is literally excuse him for his terrible behavior, starting with how he treats her. Klaus is awful to her, terribly abusive. He compelled her to go out with someone against her will, even after she saw Marcel being aggressive to Thierry and was like 'nope, not for me, I'm outta here', to <i>spy</i> for him. And this gets shoved under the rug in a second. Klaus kills Elijah's girlfriend right before his eyes, then he curses Hayley into her wolf form, and Cami is literally there telling people that they have to understand that he did all that because he had a plan and he had to make it look convincing. She attempts to be mad at him because he bit her (not because he killed Gia, or cursed Hayley; because he bit her) and when he says he was just pretending, she smiles and that's it. Let it go. And then I'm supposed to believe that this is the person who's going to bring the best out of Klaus? Klaus goes on being the same unapologetic jackass he always was.

And then season 3 happens and it's just... It's painful. I abandoned TO on S3 for many reasons, I couldn't watch it anymore, but what they do to Klamille there is like... Is this seriously supposed to be the climax of this pairing? When she turns into a vampire and becomes this total crazy bitch (WHY? isn't vampirism supposed to enhance what you are? WHY oh WHY would good pure cinnamon roll Cami become 500 years old Katherine?), Klaus is having doubts over her. Hayley has to tell him that he's gonna have to accept that the person he knew is gone and she's someone else now. I think it was supposed to make us realize that Cami had ~~darkness~~ in her, but... Honestly, if that was the case, there are some fic writers in the fandom who could've done a better job than the people getting paid to write those scripts.

Camille was a character that was treated so, so badly by the writers it's hard to even defend her. She had inconsistent writing, no agency within the plot whatsoever, never got her own story lines, never developed into something more substantial, and all she was there for was to explain to us, viewers, how terribly misunderstood Klaus was (and also to babysit, which is what she does all through season 2). She spends three seasons chasing after him when he repeatedly shoves her away, so when she was finally killed off, I felt genuinely sad for her. Not even her death was about her. She was meant to be a strong female character, instead she got absolutely nothing, died as a minor sidekick who got no reward out of her involvement with Klaus, and was using her last breaths to tell him "he's good". Honey, were you not watching your own show?

Caroline, on the other hand, never lets Klaus get away with being awful. She holds him accountable for the crap he does, she points fingers, she doesn't just take his bullshit excuses and 'oh, I'm so damaged' crap. At the same time she's obviously attracted to him, tempted by these little snippets of hidden depths she gets to see, she doesn't just excuse his wrongdoings. She pushes Klaus out of his comfort zone, forces him to reassess his behavior, to consider right vs convenient, and even if it's just for her sake, he actually does change. He lets Tyler off the hook (more than once), he risks getting caught to save her from those vampire hunters, he drops everything to help Stefan with Rayna Cruz, he forsakes his revenge party against Katherine. He's killing his way through France, being a crappy father to his 15yo, then Caroline shows up, stuns him with some truths, and he instantly reconsiders. It's things that meant something to Klaus, people who had personally wronged him, situation that might put him and his family in danger, not like that extra whoever cop he "helps" in S3 who made absolutely no difference in his life whether he lived or died. He even showed a degree of regret over killing Carol when he asked Damon how he got away being forgiven for the crap he did.

In turn, Klaus was always the one person who saw the best of Caroline and completely acknowledged it. She wasn't ashamed of her vampirism, she enjoyed all the perks, and while everyone else was being broody over it, sorry for themselves, she was out there kicking ass. Klaus knew her better than her best friends, understood how she longed for more, how curious she was, how restless she would grow by being stuck forever as a sidekick in Mystic Falls. Everything he said to her was like a revelation. He was the only romantic interest in Caroline's life to truly put her first. And I want to say that they never got together in TVD because she wasn't ready to leave her mortal life behind and fully embrace immortality but the truth is they never got together because some idiot decided to make The Originals happen. lol We all know that 'I should've turned my back on you ages ago' thing would've ended up in hot hybrid-vampire sex if TO hadn't been picked up by the network.

This is not to say that there weren't problems there, of course there were, but the two of them genuinely did get the best out of each other. Klaus allowed Caroline to be accepted and appreciated for who she truly was, while she got Klaus to show true selflessness.

So I personally never bought Klamille. It fell completely flat for me. But I don't think believing Klaus loved Cami diminishes how he felt for Caroline. The guy is immortal. To think he would never have feelings for anyone other than Caroline is naive. The brief little moments Caroline gets mentioned in TO are very telling of how Klaus still felt about her even years and years later. That phone call. How he never denies loving her to Stefan, how he tells Stefan they'll be seeing each other again if he doesn't do right by her. On the letter he sent her when she opens the school, he repeats the 'however long it takes', which is a reaffirmation of the promise he made her. How he says he didn't want to know if she would let him die or not. That look he gives her when she says she'd been to New Orleans after him and he wasn't there.

Caroline was his endgame, and he was hers. The two of them could've had different loves, met different people over the course of their lives, but they were always, always meant to find each other again in the end. So, to answer your question (lol), no I don't think Klaus' endgame would've ever been Camille, and yes, I do think Caroline would've ended up in New Orleans at some point, or he would've ended up with her, wherever she was. If there had been even an inch of consistency in TO S5 and if JP hadn't been on a crusade to punish the actors who were apparently unhappy with her and unwilling to ever come back for Legacies, that's how the story would've ended. It's hard to make any real interpretation of the show when we know how those scripts got written, how little thought went into staying true to characters and their journeys, but that's what I believe.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK, ANON! lol

[nevergiveupneverrun]

Bodyguard - Chapter Fifty “Black Holes and Revelations”

Hello everybody, how are you? Here is chapter Fifty of my Story Bodyguard. I hope you will like this chapter. I’m truly sorry for not posting a lot but this semester is crazy, I have so many things to do...

I’m sorry in advance for the mistakes… English isn’t my first language and I do my best. Here is the link to the previous chapter: Click Here.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter :) 💛

                      –––––––––––––––––––––––

- A drink, Mister Hunt?

Eyes into space, installed at the counter, I raise my head detaching myself from the observation absent from the hotel bar.

I stayed for two days in this establishment which was my favorite address in Seattle, in Downtown: I had spent many stays there in the past between two planes or two missions.

My gaze rests on Roberto, the barman of the hotel and I offer him a slight smile.

- Yes, thank you, Roberto.

- What would you like? And don’t limit yourself, it’s offered by the house, he specifies with a wink.

I smile a little more, touched by his attention, to believe that my absent and distant attitude had not gone unnoticed.

- A glass of Bordeaux please and that’s nice for your offer, but I don’t want you to be in trouble for me.

- Don’t worry. A glass of Saint-Emilion then, he continues, dexterously serving me a glass of particularly prized wine. If you need anything else, don’t hesitate, he said.

- Thank you very much, Roberto, I conclude while letting him go away and take care of the other customers present in the bar.

My mind escapes again after this interruption, stopping on the last two days that I have just spent.

Two days of emptiness, boredom, and worry.

I was more distraught than anticipated in this situation: without a mission, dismissed as a beginner.

Until then, I have always been master of my professional context: my contract ends were well thought out or prepared.

After a sense of duty accomplished.

Or a jointly agreed departure when my weariness was too big.

But there, none of that: an unpleasant feeling of unfinished business, a sum of tensions whereas unlike Amelia, I am convinced that the threat still lurks.

And here I am: I’ve been going in circles for two days in this hotel.

Like a caged lion.

I stayed cloistered, to avoid approaching her neighborhood, to watch her apartment, a strong drive to silence my discomfort and reassure myself.

I feel a coward at the same time because I didn't dare to inform Jackson or Nathan of the situation. I didn’t see how I could justify Amelia’s decision to them without revealing my weakness. This episode of bewilderment of which I am still so ashamed and even more today after all the consequences which ensue from it.

.

“That’s not your problem, anymore.” she told me.

But it’s stronger than me, I can’t turn the page as easily and no longer worry about her fate overnight… after having lived with her for long months and having shared moments that still resonate unexpectedly in me.

It was no longer tenable and I had made the best decision the day before.

I just had to wait a bit…

- Good evening, can I sit next to you?

An unexpected presence is revealed on my right with a soft and singing voice.

I turn my head and discover a young woman with long brown hair, dressed in a tight-fitting, low-cut white dress: she stares at me, waiting for my answer.

- Uh… yes, of course… please, I end up telling her.

She immediately sits on the stool by my side, placing her stilettos against the metal ledge to stand up straight.

- What are you drinking?

- A glass of Bordeaux, I answer a little absent.

- It’s a good vintage, you advise me?

I can see a light accent in her sentences, a touch of melody that reminds me of a Latin country.

- It’s a Saint-Emilion, among the best wines of France.

- I’m going to take the same thing then, I don’t know much about wine… I don’t have your intuition…

- On the other hand, it is not necessarily very cheap…

- It’s not a problem, she replies without particular emotions.

She beckons to Roberto and actually orders him a glass similar to mine. I observe her out of the corner of my eye during this conversation: she had a very fine face, almost perfect skin texture, and her equally flawless, slender and feminizer silhouette.

The style of woman we turn to on the street.

And yet, would I have turned on her?

I’m not even sure I would have noticed her in the bar.

- Hum, it’s a delight this wine, she reacts suddenly after a sip. I’m jealous of not being French in these kinds of moments…

- Where are you from? I asked a little surprised to start the discussion again, but the question had been burning my lips for a few seconds.

- I’m Italien, my name is Monica, she says with a smile.

She scrutinizes me intensely as if she is waiting for something. But I remain disconnected from the moment and the conversation before she speaks to me again.

- And you?

- Owen.

- Nice to meet you, Owen, she repeats with a smile.

I do not answer her, contenting myself with a slight movement of the head.

I look back into my glass, I didn’t want to be rude but I also did not want to have a conversation of convenience.

A silence of a few minutes settles in, but I still perceive this presence by my side and like the weight of a look that studies me.

- What’s her name?

- Excuse me?

I redirect my attention to this young woman by my side, taken aback by her question.

- That pensive and melancholy air. I only know one reason to see it settle so firmly on a man’s face. And in general, there is always a woman behind… Am I wrong?

- Not completely, but it’s not for the reasons you assume.

- I don’t suppose anything, but she obviously occupies your mind largely, she continues while taking a sip of her glass. I’ve been watching you for a few minutes, you have to be blind not to notice yourself in a room, she concludes with a smile.

I look away, uncomfortable with the turn of the exchange.

- Were you expecting someone? I asked her as a signal to dismiss her politely.

- Not anymore. I am delivered from my evening commitments.

Her expression intrigues me as if she were there for obligation and not to spend the evening with a husband, a fiancé or a lover.

- You might be better off finding him…

- I was not there for personal convenience, you know…

- Sorry, but seeing you in a hotel at 9pm and dressed like that, I thought you had a date…

- Somehow, I had to find a photographer to prepare a shoot.

So she was a model, nothing surprising considering her physique.

- But I am very relieved that it is no longer relevant. Maybe I can help you spend a less moody evening.

- I’m only here for a few minutes, I’m going to leave soon.

- A few minutes are enough if they are well used, you know, she argues with a piercing and intense look.

I had the impression to discern strong innuendo in her words and at the same time, I thought of interpreting things, we only spoke for a few minutes after all.

- She left you?

- Excuse me?

- The woman who haunts your thoughts, she left you?

- Yes…well, no… it’s complicated…

- It’s always complicated, she resumes with a slight smile. But things always get better, over time. Love makes us suffer, but it also makes us stronger. Without it, we would only live half…

I had drawn a line of love for several years.

I had painfully and laboriously patched up my heart, but I had taken care to protect it, to surround it with a fortress, of which I threw the key.

Have I been living half since?

Maybe, but living fully with an open wound that bleeds daily was worse than anything…

- She will understand, she will forgive you.

- How do you know I have something to make me forgive?

- I didn’t know it, but you just confirmed it to me. But you shouldn’t be moping like that, loneliness is worse than anything…

I observe her and notice her eyes for the first time.

Two blue pupils with sparkling reflections.

A certain melancholy and sadness are revealed as if she spoke a little about herself through her remark.

A look that destabilizes me… because it looks so much like hers…

- You look like her… I whispered. You have the same…

The sentence escapes me despite me and I can see the young woman’s eyes getting a little bigger and a smile settling on her face.

- You don’t have to call me Monica, you know, she whispers in my ear while letting her hand rest on my forearm.

I stay motionless, my gaze fixed on her hand.

- You are very attractive and mysterious… I’m not used to saying that to a man I met for only a few minutes, but I like you a lot…

I fix her gaze a little more intensely and I look for something in it… something that I cannot identify or define but that I cannot find…

- I have a suite upstairs, I’m as alone as you are this evening, she continues in the hollow of my ear.

Her proximity makes me feel the warmth of her presence while her scent also invades my nostrils.

An olfactory stimulus that breaks the charm and illusion that insidiously settled.

No vanilla and coconut notes.

There are fresh and flowery touches that awaken me bringing me back to this reality: she is a stranger in front of me and not Amelia.

Amelia who should no longer be the center of my concerns…

- I wish you a good evening, Monica, I answer weakly as she detaches from me.

I read surprise and a barely concealed hint of irritation in her eyes.

Clearly, she was not used to being send-off like this by a man.

- Do you often refuse propositions like mine? She challenges me with a piercing look.

- When I’m not tempted, yes…

She laughs suddenly after my answer, then speaks again.

- Not tempted by a lay without commitment? Are you sure you are a male?

- I may not be like all men, so.

- Not like all men, that’s for sure… she is very lucky, she said before getting up and leaving the bar, leaving her glass half full.

.

Silence and emptiness reign around me again.

This interlude leaves me perplexed and disconcerted despite myself.

In the past, I would not have refused an invitation of this kind, from such a beautiful woman and in a context completely free of all constraints.

It was exactly what I was looking for: no attachment, no commitment.

Feelingless relationships.

Episodes to satisfy my body without endangering my heart.

So why did I refuse her advances?

Why did I think of Amelia at the time?

Why did I push this woman away when I realized that she was different?

Without that familiar, comforting scent of coconut… which I miss.

My reactions seem incomprehensible to me, my thoughts unfathomable.

I don’t understand what’s going on, or rather yes, I’m starting to understand, but I don’t want to admit it. The revelation that strikes me is almost too destabilizing.

It would be to recognize that I lost a battle that I thought behind me for a long time.

A revelation as a vivid and frank signal of my failure.

- Mister Hunt?

Roberto’s intervention takes me out of my thoughts and I find the image of the young man in front of me, rebind the counter.

- Your taxi is waiting for you, he says, catching my eyes.

- Thank you, Roberto, I answer offering him a smile.

- I hope you had a good stay with us and that we will see you again very soon.

- Probably, thank you for everything, I said shaking his hand to support my words.

So I leave the bar and join the hotel entrance.

A first doorman opens the doors to the building and a second presents the open door of the taxi.

- Your luggage is in the trunk, Sir.

- Thank you very much, I answer while getting into the car.

- Where should I take you? Immediately asks the driver.

- Seattle Tacoma Airport, please.

.

The car starts slowly and my gaze captures a silhouette outside the hotel.

A gorgeous young woman in a tight white dress smoking a cigarette.

Monica, my temptation for an evening: the Owen of six months ago could not resist.

But today everything is different: I see her go away as the car picks up speed, without any regrets.

No frustration, just calm in me.

.

The decorations parade through the window: Seattle streets, myriad of cars and the concrete landscape of the ring road.

I take this ride to print in my mind these images and this atmosphere of Seattle.

In a few hours, it will only be a memory, when kilometers and an ocean will separate me from my country… and from her.

With the distance, I will be able to more easily forger this unfinished mission, to ignore this paralyzing fear that something will happen to her.

In any case, that’s all I hope: to change the environment to stifle this haunting worry and this drive to find her because it is only with her that I would feel useful.

.

- We arrived, Sir.

The driver turns to me and I realize that we have been stopped for a good minute while « Terminal 2E » covers the entrance of the swing doors visible outside.

I get my wallet in my jacket pocket and pay the driver.

He gets out of the car and I imitate him, finding him near the trunk as he hands me my luggage, a simple little cabin suitcase.

- I wish you a good trip.

- Thank you, I answer while feeling a vibration in my jacket pocket.

I take a few steps towards the entrance to the terminal to get away from the noise caused by the ballet of taxis and buses accessing the airport.

I get my cellphone and answer immediately by reading the name that lights up the screen… my heart misses a beat and my throat tightens… in amazement.

- Amelia?

A breath resounds in the handset for a few seconds, then a weak but familiar voice finally answers me.

- Owen…. I need you…

                      –––––––––––––––––––––––

Thank you for reading. I’ll try to post a chapter Friday or Sunday. Have a great week 💛

[idonthaveanydamnidea]

second part of assa and maxence's interview phew

J : What do you think about it Maxence? No but basically, what we can see in s3 is that Eliott has several ways to flirt. At the start he has one a bit more delicate, I'd call that "allusive flirting". That is to say that he's making a lot of little innuendos, he's throwing hints like that, i'm especially thinking about...

Max : "Not necessarily a girl"? (bitch is this allusive for you???)

J : Yeah, that scene! Where he walks with Lucas

Max : At that point he attacks

A : I admit!

J : Yeah but actually, he attacks but at the same time is that really clear? because frankly, me, you tell me something like this... Maybe I would tell myself "I'm imagining things", isn't it a bit too cryptic? (okay i'm waiting can someone please start being eliott-cryptic with me)

Mar : You're replacing his hair also [here's there's a confusion cause what she says ("tu lui redresses l'épi") sounds like "tu lui redresses les pieds" = you're straightening his feet]

Max : I'm straightening his feet??

Mar : You're replacing his hair

Max : Oh his hair!

A : Oh yeah, yeah right!!

Max : But this is to know how to draw him, it's not a flirting technique, you see...

O : He wants to draw him to flirt with him

J : No but there's that and there's all the piano scene (my dudes if that's being allusive to you how the fuck do you usually flirt)... He's super intense in fact, Eliott.

A : Even in the look in his eyes. You have a look in your eyes, it's crazy

O : It's intense!

A : Like you see everything in his eyes, you're telling yourself, fuck that's crazy what are you thinking about to...? We would love to get into your head, like it's.... Really.

J : So the Eliott way, a bit cryptic like that, is it working on you or not? Or do you flirt like that? Are you practicing allusive flirting?

Max : No, Eliottesque!

J : I don't even know if that exists, I may have used all along a term that doesn't exist, but...

A : It wouldn't work on me.

J : You wouldn't understand

A : Actually, even if i did understand, you need to be straight forward. You have to tell me things straight, you have to tell be things clearly, if you're not clear I won't mind you. So, yeah.

O : That's a Basile

A : totally! And you know that when I did the Serieously test I got Basile? Serieously did a test on instagram where you answer a quiz and in the end you get a character from the gang, and i got Basile.

Max : I got Yann (oh same i think)

J : Yeah you're more Basile, well Basile is a bit heavy in s3, even tho he's kinda cute, but he's still annoying

A : Yeah he's still heavy

J : At least you understand!

A : Yeah no we understand but, right, not heavy like that

Max : You're gonna start getting hit on by guys that are gonna be like...

J : True be careful, cause really some people take everything really literally.

O : Still, Basile is cute.

A : He's too cute! I like Basile, I like his character

O : Especially what he tells Daphné at some point, so cute, like at the end of s3 he tells her "I know I'm annoying, but i'm gonna do everything to get better so I deserve you". That's dope!

A : Oooh that's too cute!

J : Basile is Oumar's favorite character

O : I love him

Max : It's mine too.

O : He's great

J : So Oumar is more team Basile than team Eliott about flirting

A : Ouch

Max : Ah yeah

O : No I don't do like Basile! I like Basile. I don't do like Basile.

A : And you what do you say?

J : Umm... I'm team.... About flirt? In skam? Eliott wouldn't work with me. Actually I would always ask myself, did I understand well, I would always be scared to imagine things

A : Yeah that's it

J : So me when there's a doubt it annoys me, I prefer when there's no doubt

J : Marine wouldn't it work on you? Would it work on you?

Mar : Uh... Yeah maybe yeah. Yeah. I like little games yeah.

J : You're Eliott-like in flirting then (shout out to the dude who's listening to his boss having a casual conversation about how she likes her flirt it's... kind of surreal)

Mar : It's possible yeah.

J : It's probable.

Mar : It's possible yeah. I think.

Max : Another!

A : You didn't answer! (why does this feel like a truth or dare I'm so entertained)

Max : I'm the most naive guy on earth. In fact I never notice it when someone flirts with me. It's... Not but it's hell

A : He's doing it on purpose I think

O : "Oh yeah, that's true, you like me???"

A : "Seriously?? I didn't know"

Max : I know that talking about that....

J : "Last time I wrote you "I love you" in a letter"! "Oh I didn't understand"

Max : No, but like, in high school my friends were laughing at me so much cause every time, well when I was at parties and a girl was coming to talk to me a little and stuff, and I was like "ah that's cool !" and I was leaving. And they were telling me "but dude, it was ok" and I was like "nonsense" and actually, two weeks after I was asking her and yes it was ok. And... I didn't see it.

J : So you have to be the one to start because you don't understand anything

Max : But yeah, I'm really bad too. I'm very shy in fact, so... I can't do it. But I prefer... I like the things a bit... Where you don't really know. When everything is given, it's fun too...

J : You like being in doubt

Max : Yeah yeah, I like that

J : I don't like like it

Max : I like it. A bit of mystery, you see

J : It fits

O : We'll go join Basile

A : We'll go join Basile!

J : We'll form a small team, with Basile.

O : Ouch [no for real just look at his face it's so funny]

J : Uh, Eliott has another thing, when he brings Lucas in his little secret place, on the petite ceinture, so for those who aren't parisians, the petite ceinture is an abandoned train rail. So he takes him there.

Max : It came out as so snob when you said it. "so, for those who aren't parisians..."

O : Oh right I didn't even notice!

Max : "For those who live in "province""

O : "Hello losers"

Max : Sorry

J : That's not what I meant at all. Excuse me

Max : Excuse me

O : "Excuse me other people, excuse me the rest of France"

Max : Because I [inaudible], we're going to get destroyed. Sorry.

J : I'm not going to make it

A : Stop you're making her uneasy!

Max : Yeah clearly

J : Basically.... I'll kill you!

O : I forgot! I'm gonna get fired.

J : There's a little scene that's a bit- Okay let's focus, i'm not gonna make it

Max : You are, you are

J : There's a little scene a bit strange, where he brings him in a sort of tunnel, in a dark, and he starts turning the light off. Eliott does this, he's turning the torch on and off, he disappears, he's putting him in the dark, he comes back...

A : That's...no, I would've lost it. You don't do that to me.

Max : Me neither! Don't look at me it's not me!

A : You did it! You don't do that actually!

J : It's a bit scary actually

Max : When David told me that I was like "Seriously? Really? He's gonna do that?" I don't like that thing at all.

J : Oh yeah?

Max : Well, when i saw it on screen it was okay, because it fits the character and everything, but when he told me "yeah you're gonna do that, you're gonna disappear and you're gonna be like are you scared? are you scared?", I was a bit like "hmphff". And when we shot it, we were seeing everything. Like when I was.. how do i say it.. Well look, there's a table I can do it for you, Lucas is here, and actually the camera was at this height, and i had the torch lamp here, i was turning it off, i was like, hop ! and Lucas had to be like "??" (YEAH GO AHEAD AND WALK ON MY DREAMS JUST LIKE THAT) And it was really hard to act, cause well, we were seeing each other. So there wasn't this thing, well the final effect comes off well, but no, you don't, well you never do that to someone, it's weird.

A : Yeah

J : No but you take me in a cave and you act like a psycho, serial killer

A : I'm gonna imagine things like crazy! I'm gonna leave

J : And who says "you're scared uh???"

O : Well yeah I'm scared

Max : The sadistic guy

J : "and now you're afraid?" "well yeah I'm afraid, leave me alone". You never had moments like this kind of scary,first kisses stories? What was your worst... No ? Your worst memory? There's not any? Assa is like "complete censorship"

A : I don't see what you're talking about, I'm.... no, doesn't ring any bell.

Mar : You okay?

Max : I'm okay, and you? You good? What are you reading? What are you doing?

A : and you Oumar?

O : What are you talking about? I didn't understand. I don't understand what it means

A : Yeah same.

O : I think that's a joker.

A : Anyways, on screen the scene was great (she's trying to save the ship from drowning a+ changing topics smoothly)

Max : I love her eye makeup (???)

A : Seriously?

Max : Yeah and... Yeah. Next?

J : no but, anyways you disturbed me so much that I want to give up on you

Max : Okay, well if you want I'll take your place I'll continue the interview.

J : So no anecdotes? (lady just drop it everyone's uneasy) You're all... You've never lived anything?

A : No. Not much. What about you?

J : Me...

O : Yes, you wanna tell us!

J : No but for me it's all cute, my first kiss was in the forest, when I was 9, and actually it disgusted me because I found it dirty and I washed my mouth for three days.

Mar : Without ever stopping

J : Without ever stopping? I did stop!

Max : I'll join you I'll support you. (truth or dare I'm telling you) Mine was vaguely the same, I was in a holiday camp, to [some town name I don't understand] to do motocross in the mountains, and we did a party, i was 11 i think something like that, and, there was a girl who was like, two heads taller than me and uh, we were on a couch and she was making out with me and she had eaten mnms. And it was awful, actually it made me sick and I went to bed like I had a bellyache and everything it disgusted me too. See, I shot myself in the foot for you.

J : It's nice, thanks, thanks, thanks.

O : He was super nice. We'll let you in trouble and we're getting to season 4.

tumblr is doing shit so the following and end tomorrow!

[m00nslippers]

It’s All About the All-Caste in RH:O Issue #34!

This issue was kind of filler and recap to be honest, but I’m always down for finding out more ways that Jason is awesome and we did get a little bit of that here, so let’s jump in to the review!

Right off the bat (hur hur) we flashback to Jason’s time with the All-Caste. He quotes Neitzsche, “Whoever battles monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster himself. And when you look long into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” This is juxtaposed by Jason literally fighting a bigass monster as a teen in the All-Caste.

Now this is actually a pretty awesome thing because 1) It’s Jason being a literature nerd, which is what sustains my life. 2) It’s actually pretty damn relevant to what is happening in the plot right now, with Jason fighting monsters (Gotham’s rogues) and Jason dipping into that pool of being a monster himself. There is just so much foreshadowing that Jason is setting himself up for a fall, I’m just not sure how it’s going to shake out yet. Honestly unless he does something a lot worse than what he’s been doing, I don’t personally actually fault Jason or think he’s a monster? Like let’s be real here, the guy gets results.

There is some really awesome stuff here. Internally Jason says “When you’ve died once already--stared at the actual gates of hell--and clawed your way back through six feet of dirt? When you stare at a monster? Nine times out of ten...they’ll blink first.” Damn.

And then the monster, who calls himself “The Devourer of Young Souls”, asks Jason why the heck Ducra chose to send some kid after him, to which Jason says, “She didn’t choose me, she didn’t send me, but she knew better than to try to stop me!” Damn.

Apparently Jason is literally a child of prophesy among the All-Caste. I don’t remember if that was something we knew already or something we learn here, but I think it’s interesting that he basically completed the prophecy and moved on. Because Jason did what he was there for, he slew the monster, fought the Untitled, and now everyone expects him to just stop fighting--and he’s just like, “Uh yeah, no.” Jason’s life is an endless war. It always has been, he doesn’t know how to live another life.

One thing I’ll give Lobdell. I think he’s pretty good at dialogue. He has his moments. He’s not as bad as people make him out to be, but I feel like this guy really needs a writing partner. His dialogue is generally good, his ideas are usually pretty interesting, but his plots just need work and his characterization is inconsistent sometimes. It’s the story execution that needs help, also I think he avoids or brushes over emotional stuff a little too much sometimes and that’s a real detriment to his arcs.

After this Jason summons a crap ton of All-Blades and goes MCU Hela on the monster’s ass and I need current Jason to do this, why doesn’t current Jason fight more actual magical monsters, clearly that’s what he’s good at? I need more of this, it’s too cool. It’s super unique among the bat-family, he’s the only one of them with an inherent answer to magic, why is this so underutilized? *Sigh*

The story picks back up in the present with Jason at a restaurant in France, on a date with Isabel. I’m a little annoyed that these two are back together but I think their interaction here actually kind of puts a perspective on it that I approve of. Jason has an extra champagne glass there and is thinking about his adventures in France with Roy when they fought evil mimes back in Red Hood/Arsenal (Yeah, unpack that one). The champagne glass is also a reference to events in RHATO New 52, when Roy orders a glass of alcohol and uses it to test his resolve for sobriety, which happened on the very same plane ride where Jason meets Isabel. Jason is clearly still mourning Roy, not to mention Artemis and Bizarro. I think this kind of shows that while he probably does still like Isabel as a person, he’s not necessarily in this relationship because he loves her and wants to get back together--he’s vulnerable and needs somebody, anybody to lean on and she’s made herself available.

People give Isabel a lot of flak and I don’t really get it? She’s never been mean or lied. She’s never judged Jason for any of the things he does, and she supports him emotionally, she just doesn’t want to be involved in vigilante craziness which is a perfectly sane thing to want. I think she’s really underdeveloped as a character--What’s her past? What does she like? Who is her family? She’s kind of generic--but as a person there isn’t anything to complain about. I still prefer Artemis, but I think Isabel gets too much hate.

Back at the Iceburg Lounge, Miguel is in charge of fixing the place up after the attack by the assassins in the previous issue. Miguel talks a little about this other reality he says he sees or senses, which is maybe a hint to some future event that is hopefully gonna fix every character inconsistency we all hate but probably not (hey I can dream). We get a tease about Miguel possibly figuring out Jason is keeping Cobblepot prisoner, which I think we all know is coming, but it doesn’t actually happen in this scene.

We see Jason walking Isabel to her hotel and it’s pretty cute to see Jason holding a girl’s hand, okay? I do like it. I almost feel like her quip about proving she doens’t love him for his money is Lobdell jabbing at everyone who is saying she’s a gold-digger. He’s just like, “Dude, she’s not, lay off” I never thought she was but the idea definitely floated around, which I think was a bit uncharitable to her character, as I’ve said. She also says the “L-word” that Jason is so allergic to but she manages to keep him from freaking out about it. I think she does actually love him or she wouldn’t be here and I also think the fact that she comes out and says it is A SERIOUS DEATH FLAG. Ya’ll heard it here first, I think Isabel is going to die at the end of this arc.

Also, Jason speaks exactly one word of French but in my mind this is proof that my language-boy speaks French.

Jason leaves her at her hotel to do some Red Hood stuff and calls Suzie Su on the way to check in. She’s fishing for what Jason is doing, she’s suspicious, but he doesn’t give her anything. Jason, you aren’t doing a great job of convincing anyone you aren’t up to no good. Unrelated to the plot, but let me just say, I like the outfit the artist gave Suzie. Artists always seem to give her really hangy dresses and depict her as gross, but she looks cute here! Those leggings are cool!

Then the scene goes to Essence doing some pretty awesome All-Caste magic to contact the guy Jason dusted, and he goes on to say some BS about Jason’s eyes being empty and how he’s not the same person who was their champion as a teen. I think narratively this is supposed to mean something, but it seemed like few of the All-Caste actually approved of Jason to begin with, and this guy didn’t give the impression he was one of them, so why we are trusting his opinion is a question to. The dude is biased, he never approved of Jason.

Essense talks to S’aru, the dude who took Jason’s most cherished memory all the way back in RHATO New 52, and Essence seems to suspect this has something to do with the ‘emptiness’ in his eyes and his actions in the presence. His most cherished memory was a time when he was sick and had to stay home from patrol and Bruce stayed with him. I mean, sure, you can argue this maybe changed how Jason sees Bruce now and is less willing to believe the guy loves him but Bruce’s actions in the presence don’t exactly even jive with that memory so...eh. I don’t know, maybe there is just some magic awfulness that happens when you lose that memory, no matter what it is.

At the end of the scene Ducra floats in to probably tell Essence she can go attack Jason or whatever but we don’t know what she decided for sure because it ends on a cliff-hanger.

Back in France, Jason barges into a perfume shop that is fronting a Kill-Bill style meeting of some criminals calling themselves "The Euro Bloc” who have ties to Cobblepot. They finance the guy in exchange for him laundering their money through his Casino, and I would just like to point out that this is Jason doing exactly what he said he was planning to do--dismantle all of Penguin’s criminal activities. I don’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing, why is Jason ‘empty’ or a ‘bad guy’? He points out later that he didn’t even kill anyone while in Europe, so what is everyone’s beef? I don’t get it.

So Jason basically says, stop your activities in Gotham, also, leave me alone. They do the typical, “OR, why don’t we just kill you now?” but it turns out that Wingman is waiting in a kickass plane ready to murder everyone if they make a move and so they reluctantly back off. The plane seems to belong to Wingman, who we find out is named ‘James’. I still have absolutely no idea who Wingman is supposed to be or what his relationship with Jason is, though. I really hope we get some more of this information soon.

One thing of note though, is that Wingman is THE ONLY ally of Jason’s right now that knows that he is operating as Red Hood still. Suzie doesn’t, Isabel doesn’t, Miguel doesn’t. Wingman holds some kind of significance, and seems to need/want Jason to be operating as Red hood in Gotham for some reason, which was why he was following Jason, to convince him to return to Gotham, but we just don’t know why yet.

And then in the end, Miguel finally finds out Penguin is behind the glass and the title seems to imply Miguel is going to turn on Jason. penguin must convince him he’s the one wronged (I mean he IS the one wronged but he’s not actually a good guy so we know this is bad even if Miguel doesn’t) because i can’t see Penguin overpowering Miguel who has all this Psionic power.

So this issue was interesting. I loved seeing all the All-Caste stuff though on the whole, it’s mostly set up. Next issue, stuff is going down! I can’t wait!

[missoneminute]

Hello anon, thank you for sharing your experiences of the Munich show. I have placed both your messages and my response behind this cut because both are really long, and I am also mindful that people asked for a rest from this topic. x

Hi, thank you so much for your awesome blog! And thank you for just being you because you’ve managed brilliantly the difficult topic of the last days!One week ago I traveled to Munich to see the show, I was lucky enough to make it to the front row, it was definitively a brilliant show, so great to see the guys together on stage, with some epic moments (Carl on the piano during Waterloo and dead for love, a bit of the cover “everybody’s talkin’” and a bit of “France”), hilarious moments (Peter making some fun because of Carl wearing an eyeliner) and crazy moments (before the encore Peter suddenly emerged behind me right in the middle of the audience, people went wild, and John did stage diving). The set was very powerful and some songs like “what a waster” has been played faster.I saw Peter playing live many times but this time I noticed him act and play in a very different way, he was more “aggressive”, his staff had definitely a stressful night to catch all the mike stands etc. he continuously threw around. After the gig I met the guys and as I asked Peter for an autograph he agreed but as I took out the setlist that I was able to get after the show, the look in his eyes changed, I asked him how he was doing and he answered me that to be honest he felt bad because all this it’s just about money making and he is not going to sign my setlist and went off. At this point Carl was very nice took the setlist and signed it, he was lovely and friendly and we had a small chat. I met Peter several times in the past and I know he could also be such a nice and handsome guy, never denied to make an autograph or to take a picture together, so I was a little bit surprised about his reaction. I suppose to understand what he meant by saying that and this makes me very sad, especially to know that behind the scenes there are the usual dramas going on. I felt a little bit worried as the Libs tour started as I saw those pictures of their first show in Paris and I discovered all those (maybe self inflicted) scratches on his chest, but during the show last Monday all my worries mostly disappeared, although it was obvious to me that he was heavily intoxicated, but after this post gig meeting I don’t know what to think, at the moment I have such mixed emotions, I guess it’s just Peter with his permanent up and downs and maybe it was just me being too enthusiastic about the show that I’ve expected him being in a good mood and happy too. To be honest I was expecting him do don’t show up for the gig at the next day and the comments and reviews of the Berlin show confirmed the tense situation I’ve witnessed the day before. Unfortunately the bad news of his two arrests are only another evidence of him being at the moment seriously out of control. At this point I’m questioning about if to schedule such an intense tour was a good thing for Peter?If he can really manage to play with the Libertines? If the pressure on him was too big and as an addict the only way out for him was to sink much deeper in his addiction and dark side. It seems to me like all the old demons and problems within the band has came alive again. But are we somehow co-responsible for that because we want to see them play and pay to go to their gigs etc. and so unwitting we take part of this “money making business” that is forcing him to stand something he clearly cannot stand in his actual condition? And by saying this believe me I feel extremely sad. I hope he will finally take the right decision and follow a serious detoxification program. You don’t have to necessarily public this because I know it’s too long, but I would very appreciate it if you’ll be so nice to give me your opinion. Thank you so much! Let’s keep our fingers crossed and and hope for better news! XXX 

Hello, thank you for the review and I’m glad you had a good time. I’m also sorry you had that experience afterwards. It’s fairly clear he’s not been entirely happy of late. I guess my opinion is to largely repeat what I’ve already said about it - he’s signed on to be there, and that’s something he didn’t have to do. If he’s feeling guilty about his own motivations I can understand that, but again he could have made the decision not to be there. He still could make that decision - he’s never shied away from simply not showing up to things. He also certainly didn’t have to agree to have a “heroin free” tour. That’s not something that has been the case on the last few tours. So I’m assuming against his misgivings he’s decided to be part of that tour for better or worse and he must have reasons for that. Some positive and optimistic and some clearly not. He’s no doubt not the only person in the band who has mixed feelings or who isn’t madly keen on the tour either. The entire tour is a strange one in that they don’t have new material ready and it was always going to feel a little strained and extraneous as a result. I don’t think anyone is under the illusion that these are the best circumstances for a tour, so it was a very lovely surprise when they seemed to actually be having a good time as they have been at some of the shows. That doesn’t negate anyone’s concerns, it’s just nice that they’re trying to make the best of it, him included. I’m sure most fans want to see them happy, above all else. I have immense empathy for him and all of them and the position they’re in. There’s nothing more exhausting than doing a job - for want of a better term - that you don’t necessarily want to do. But I’m also aware that Peter hasn’t found himself in this situation without his own complicity, and I can’t say anything other than yet again - he really didn’t have to be there if he truly didn’t want to be. I guess we can just hope that he opts to continue to make the best of it for his own sake, and that he doesn’t make any further agreements that could lead him to similar internal conflict. No one is stopping him from simply playing his guitar to a handful of people in a pub. I think most fans would value his happiness over any more tours or records. Many times I’ve spoken to fans who say they’d rather they forget the whole fourth album and stop touring and just strum the occasional set at a local bar. I’m sure not everyone feels that way, but if he’s feeling an obligation it’s one he’s placed largely on himself. And I will say something a little harsh perhaps - being unhappy with a situation you’ve put yourself in doesn’t give you license to make everyone else around you suffer, nor to punish yourself and everyone else. It’s a signal that you need to make better decisions that place your own happiness and comfort first, even when that decision isn’t the easiest or popular one. That takes a bravery that he’s clearly exhibited in the past, and he certainly has enough life experience to know the outcome of his actions. In short if you agree to do something, for a number of reasons, acting out because you’re hemmed in by that decision isn’t a useful response. He has a right to complain and he has a right to be unhappy with his decisions. But again he made that decision. So really it feels like he’s unhappy with himself, and there’s only one person who can have any effect on that changing. I agree though that perhaps the decision to give up certain substances at a stressful time like a tour wasn’t a great recovery plan, and it’s evident he’s not coping well with it. Maybe he felt performing would help or distract him, but hopefully more medical intervention will help as he goes forward. X

[flying-elliska]

Skam France End of S3 Questionnaire - my own.

I am so ready to enjoy Imane’s season, I will also never stop talking about s3 (I think we can all do both!!). Ever. It’s one of my favorite seasons of TV and media experiences and I can’t wait to analyze it to death. (I’m going to do the s4 questions in another post bc i want ppl to read them and this is already super long, fair warning) 

Favorite “big” clip : I already said Jeudi 17h32 (the bus stop farewell) but it’s such an understated scene, idk if it’s a ‘big one’. Apart from that, I love them all but ‘Vendredi 20h27 “T’es plus tout seul”’ just...did something to me on an almost spiritual level, I will remember it forever. It also give me a push on a personal level to reach out and explain some stuff to people. It made me believe in Love as the most important thing in the universe. I felt all my misgivings about being mentally ill and being worthy of love fall through the basket of my brain for one moment. Yeah. Also the parallel between God’s love and the Church and gay love, and that song, and seeing Eliott like that, and Maman Lallemant, and Lucas’ epic run, and the flashbacks, and the whole Petite Ceinture thing falling into place, dark/light and and and...yeah. Never will be over it. 

Favorite “small” clip : Several come to mind but I have such a soft spot for “Lundi 08h43 - Terre Promise” where they uncover the mural ? First of all that thing was much more beautiful than I thought it would be, aesthetics on point, and Lucas and Eliott being so open and unashamed like that made me feel so warm and fuzzy after all of Lucas’ repression of his own feelings and sexuality. The music and the filming are great in this clip, and I loved learning Imane knew Eliott already and seemed so happy for them, and the whole ‘you ask about politics on Christmas’ gave me such a family vibe. The whole ‘it’s a butt - yeah we gave it our all, body and soul’ was super ridiculous but in that way you don’t even care about when you’re so high on love. It was just super cute. 

Favorite romantic moment : There’s so many but I just can’t get over Lucas buying flowers and croissants for Eliott in “Samedi 9h53 - T’es pas comme les autres” even though he knows he might not appreciate it because he just wants to bring color and beauty at the edge of Eliott’s life ? As a mentally ill person the constancy and care and tenderness of it just moved me to tears. And it represents so much for Lucas’ journey beyond toxic masculinity too, and not being his dad, and letting his caring side out, and just. uggh. 

Favorite kiss : The first one, still. The symbolic of it is just...ahhh. It’s a kiss but it represents so much more - going beyond comfort zones, mutual recognition, stepping into each other’s worlds, understanding, the meeting of two souuuls. And the whole under the rain at night thing is cliché but it just works so well for them because it makes you feel all the relief and strangeness and right-ness of the moment. Their love is like a force of nature. 

Favorite line of dialogue : ‘Lucas, je t’aime.’ 

Favorite (non-Elu) character : Alexia Martineau, absolute bicon, I wish she was more present in the end of the season tbh. I love how colorful and confident and funny she is. Her style is goals, and as a bi plus-size woman the whole character is just therapeutic to me. 

Favorite set : La Petite Ceinture ! I just love the creepy-cool-poetic vibe of it, how well it is used as a character building tool for Eliott, how it shows a different side of Paris as a place, gives them a place of their own, how they go back to it later, what they did with Polaris, etc etc. I love the whole poetry of decaying secret places in general, it reminds me of places I used to take refuge in as a teenager, and now I really, really want to visit it. 

Favorite frame : The candlelit dinner in 19h25. That clip is a punch in the face, but visually, it’s so on point. It’s incandescent. The whole aesthetic of the clip (and the next) manage to be both romantic, and unsettling as hell. The whole idea of the houseboat with the fairylights and the light reflecting on dark water and the sounds of the boat moving.The intimate scenes that make them look like renaissance paintings with that golden light. The shots of that table in particular, with the candles behind the glass, and the two of them with the shotgunning and the blown pupils and the champagne glasses full of golden bubbles. The aesthetic is almost like religious iconography with the dark/light contrasts, light through glass ( the candle motif is repeated in the church scene) and the way it frames their feelings - it’s so f*cking intense, exhilarating, almost too much. It makes you feel both Lucas’ awe at being loved like that, how in tune they are, and the fact that Eliott’s manic episode is really about to surface, the brief descent into darkness to come. It does so many things. It’s gorgeous. 

Favorite Lucas character arc moment : Well, the whole of the season obviously, and things I’ve said above, how he cares for Eliott after his episode, the Remember scene, living his love out loud, etc. But in particular what sticks out to me is the articulation of the Jeudi 1h48 night scene, his coming out to Yann, and the Intervention clip because that’s where his self acceptance goes through the hardest point and makes it through. He lets himself come to terms with his emotions, and figures out that even though the reaction of the world might be hard, his own self expression is still the most important thing. He’s so brave in those clips, and the acting brings it to an incredible level. 

Favorite Eliott character arc moment : Again, the moment he says to Lucas he loves him. Because this is him, seeing Lucas and reaching out through his insecurities and telling him that what they had was real. But it’s also him validating his own feelings, believing in them, letting himself have this after a whole season of going back and forth out of fear of messing it up. He’s putting his own fears aside too, fears of being seen and vulnerable and daring for something better than a relationship that is just ‘okay.’ He’s finally going for it 100% and accepting Lucas’ love and his own capacity for it. It’s just...wow. 

Favorite other character arc moment : Daphné’s gaining confidence through the foyer made me super happy. But tbh, my favorite is Yann. He’s very underrated in general, I feel. He’s not as ‘ideal bff’ as Jonas or Skam It’s Gio, but his arc feels very important and meaningful to me. Seeing someone mess up and admit to his mistakes is super important. Because I feel there are soooo many straight guys who can learn from this - that casual homophobia is in the water of our culture and sometimes you just don’t realize what you are saying. And i feel, even though this isn’t directly adressed (and i wish it was) that Lucas also learns from this re: his words about ‘crazy people’ and what compassion and growing up means. I love Leo’s acting in general. Yann has a very compelling presence, calm (but a bit loopy at times), he feels deeply, and his betrayal at Lucas’ not sharing and subsequent realization he had messed up felt very real and mature for a 16 yr old. And how he embraces Lucas afterwards made me feel all fuzzyhearted. I wish we saw more of their friendship tbh. 

Favorite Axel acting moment : ummm every single minute he was on, like. He never once felt false. That guy is going places. One of my fave things is just the look on his face in certain scenes Lucas has with Eliott - how it completely lights up, and the contrast with his more closed off persona in the beginning. It’s like he’s a completely different person - younger, wilder, more alive, daring, unafraid, and absolutely thrilled to have found his soulmate. It’s beautiful. And the crying difficult scenes, how he’s not afraid to ugly cry and just go there and make it a real gut punch. He just goes through such a transformation throughout the season, too. It’s nuts to me they didn’t even film in chronological order. Lucas just seems so much more grown up and at ease in his own skin at the end of the season. Mind blown. But if I had to pick one : the look on his face at the end of Jeudi 17h32 - sadness to see Eliott leave, but so much happiness, and also like he’s coming to terms with his own journey and breathing for the first time ? So much in one frame. 

Favorite Maxence acting moment : tbh i was a little less sure of him in the beginning, but I feel like his restlesness and slight awkwardness and being a little too forceful at times (which some might have called ‘bad acting’) was actually a good acting choice ? Because Eliott feels so much, he’s so sensitive, and it would lead to feeling a little out of place around others, there’s so much emotion brimming under the surface he can’t always regulate it properly (I would know. it was painful to watch at times.) He really outsold it in the scene in “Lundi 17:21 “On verra bien.” where Eliott talks about his illness. That pain in his eyes when he says “I’m going to make you go through hell.” ? Ouch. He’s really good with his eyes in general, esp in the beginning when Eliott is the ‘mysterious new guy’ and the way he looks at Lucas at the end of ‘Not necessarily a girl’ ? Daaaaaaaaamn. 

Favorite (non-Elu) acting moment : Marilyn Lima as Manon. She was so good in every clip she was in. It almost made me want to watch s2 even though I hate Noorhell plotlines with a fiery passion. She just sold how bruised and sad and let down she was and it was a doorway to Lucas’ own empathy and feeling his own feelings, and reflecting on how true love should be supportive in the dark moments. Especially in the night time clip, they were so good together. 

Favorite social media moment : they were really good at it (we could have had more clips though) and my absolute fave is what they did with Eliott’s insta - the hunt for it at the beginning with the code, the cool drawings, the queer culture references, the somewhat alarming poetry, it all helped flesh out Eliott’s character in a way that we didn’t have with Even and made us fall in love so much more. The moment where we were all waiting for Lucas’ to discover Eliott’s insta (and the hilarity of the (probably made up) moment where Matteo/German Isak followed him first) with baited breath, was the most brilliant bit of intermedia storytelling I have ever seen. It was so cool. Also Emma and Alex’s insta stories made me like a Chriseva pairing for the first time, lol. 

Favorite music moment : Remember, obviously. The chorus, timeless feeling, epic rythm ? Just perfect. And Fête de trop : so powerful, thematically on point, made me discover Eddy de Pretto. Also brilliant use of piano music and how it’s related to them. I want a social media vid of Lucas playing ‘I love you’ again for Eliott at some point. 

Favorite bts/cast&crew moment : so many of them. But tbh I am especially grateful for Maxence’s openness about his own issues and his process on how he worked on the Eliott role. His Actor Factory interview where he talked about how mental illness can be so fucking lonely but life can still be beautiful had me cry like a little baby in my favorite café. It just made me want to be around creative ppl more, and dedicate myself to my own creative process seriously ? And his lives are also so cool. The dude in general is so effing relatable. (well, and cute tbh ahahaha). I also really, really loved Niels’ insight in the writing process. I haven’t stanned a cast this hard in forever and now I want to give everything up and try to write my own series lmaooo. 

Favorite fandom moment : all the theorizing and staying up late and shit was golden. I love talking with ppl and sharing the love. And it’s given me a lot more confidence in my own writing. But special love to the @renewskamfrance team and the whole thing, it’s been completely nuts and I am so happy we started this. 

…

Most romantic moment : I am realizing this question is a double but whatever, there’s no shortage of them. Eliott drawing Lucas as a hedgehog, the smooth artsy motherf*cker. And the insta in general. If someone made a cartoon animal version of me, that was also that fitting to my character, I would just ask them to marry me on the spot. I live for that artsy shit. I understand why Lucas was so into it right from the start. And of course the timeless cloud of queer intimacy that was Samedi 09h17. 

Moment that made you fall in love with the season : The piano scene, because it showed so much more depth in Lucas’ character. We were all Eliott then, falling in love with him and the season, and their ability to mix things up compared to OG. 

Most heartbreaking moment : Tied.  “Samedi 14h32 Intervention″ - I don’t think I’ve cried so much all season.  I’ve been there, too, and Lucas’ anguish at being ostracized and judged for something he can’t control, and his thinking that Eliott didn’t care about him, and Mika saying ‘you will have to keep coming out for the rest of your life’ all felt so impactful but the ‘fuck them’ at the end, so empowering.  It was heartbreaking in a good way, incredibly cathartic. Meanwhile “Vendredi 23:37 Une putain de lubie” is heartbreaking in the bad way lol, it stomps on your heart, the contrast with how happy they were only moments before absolutely brutal, and Lucille’s cruel words on top of it. Watching Lucas lose it like that was so difficult to watch, the panic of it, the absolute despair. But it was so well done. And of course “Jeudi 01:48 Viens on en parle pas″. So simple, so powerful, and we were all so tired when we watched it, it was super effective. 

Most funny moment : The ‘discovery of the butt’ moment was hilarious, also loved the boys’ reaction to Lucas telling them Eliott was his bf, the vodka sunday scenes, and the entirety of the scene in the second-hand shop with the scary dolls, but I just can’t get over Imane and the tampons in “Lundi 8:53 Quoi moi et Emma” , that was just pure gold but it also shows how good she is at embarassing nosy ppl and inventive and it made me want to know so much more about her. 

Most enlightening moment :  The season as a whole has made me think so much about my own relationship to my emotions and love and self-expression. After the ‘Remember’ sequence I really had this moment of....I can’t hate myself anymore ? It was so powerful. And episode 10 in general. But in earlier episodes, ep 5/6 in particular made me realize how much I was also repressing my own feelings and how unhealthy that shit was. The whole thing was just in general a process. And after the last clip I had such a feeling of general tenderness towards the show, the world and wanting to give love more of a place in my life.  

Best aesthetics moment :  Like I said houseboat scene. The use of light throughout the season, incredibly beautiful, But of course the painting thing. It was just such a perfect use of aesthetics to make a point in the story (i don’t really care if it’s not realistic). Now they are finally living out loud in all the colors of life. It was such a radiant affirmation of love and pride and joy. And the mural actually looked really cool, suprisingly (I was expecting a brown-ish mess lol). 

Best change from OG: The show was at its best when it changed things up. I love especially that they made their own symbolism. I love the whole concept of the Foyer and how much more integral they made it to the story than Kosegruppa, how it comes to stand for togetherness and diversity. I love the girl squad being more present and the role they gave Alexia. I love Lucas being a pianist and taking more initiative in going after Eliott (it’s not a diss against Isak, his awkwardness was so endearing and it made sense) but it made them their own characters. But I think my favorite thing is how they changed around the sequence of events slightly in the last episodes - Lucas coming out to his mom after Eliott’s episode and Basile’s talk is tying it together better, it feels like he’s thinking about how he’s treated his mother in the past because of her MI and it makes it part more of the learning process ; his mother’s loving reaction is a perfect example of ‘you have to let MI ppl speak for themselves.” And them spreading the ‘minute by minute’ concept over several clips gave us a more in depth look into Eliott’s condition, which I will be forever grateful for, the talk with Lucille as well as Lucas learning he needs to take care of himself, too. 

Best similar scene to OG : Overall I liked that they kept the story structure of the OG, because honestly, it just works so well - the Isak character’s trajectory from repression to openness to compassion. Sana/Imane’s speech about  hate coming from fear, not religion. The few episodes that focused on Lucas’ self-acceptance more than the love story.  

Best group dynamics scene : Intervention. Loved the complementary of Mika as queer guru, Manon as nurturing presence, and Lisa as comical outsider point of view being so out of it. But also loved the ‘vodka sunday’ dynamics with Manon, Lucas and Emma getting wasted, complaining about their love lives, the sadness but also the solidarity, Lucas talking about his love life so openly and making gay jokes about himself, Emma’s whole messy girl thing and ‘he’s just a p*nis”!!!” had me laughing for hours. 

Best glow-up : Lucas of course. More in terms of character perception, Mika. He really annoyed me in the beginning of the season, he was mean and uncaring and lacking in boundaries, it was toeing the line of cliché, and I love how they showed us more depth to him, that they let him be deservedly angry, and how caring with Lucas he became, while still being slightly annoying, and their sibling dynamic in general, slightly antagonistic but super supportive. 

Best social awareness moment : Mika’s speech, Yann’s apologies, and Lucille and Basile’s talks about mental illness. 

Best symbolism : Polaaaris. Also God is gay now. And the first clip/end clip parallel, with them counting minutes. 

Best editing/filming/technical moment : the Remember sequence, and how they made the scenes used in the flashback a little longer, giving us the impression that their relationship is actually so much deeper than what we’ve already seen ; the parallels with the priest’s speech, the sunny vibe of Eliott laughing vs. his face in the ending shots, the music, the acting, the running, all of it.  

Best/most interesting cultural adaptation : The Foyer storyline and especially the sit-in moment. So French. It gave me flashbacks to my whole class staging sit-in protests in middle school (at 13!!!!) already for the wackiest of reasons, already practicing saying fuck off to authority and being rowdy little shits. It made me miss my country. 

…

Least favorite clip/moment : Mercredi 13:38 annoyed the shit out of me lol. It started out so well, with the summer of love aesthetics and Elu being all cute, but that lasted all of 40s and then we had an extremely unpleasant moment of Basile disrespecting Daphne’s boundaries and Arthur and Yann pressuring her to ‘give him a chance’ and how the misogynistic song he sent her is actually cute’ and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him ? I liked the end of season glow-up for him, but this scene was just gross. And I don’t mind having a POV that’s a little bit more loose than in OG but in this clip, it just felt jarring, how Lucas just flat out disappeared. I wanted to see Eliott interact with the squad more, and I resent the idea that seeing them just be happy and cuddly is not worthy of screentime for some reason. UGh. That was the one moment that the show pissed me off. Also, in the scene where Chloé offers her apologies (good) I feel like they validated her outing Lucas so he had to come to terms with his feelings. (which is a really bad message and I wish they’d written that with a bit more nuance.) 

Least favorite change from OG : Overall, this remains my least favorite boy squad. The insistence on Basile’s gross, creepy humor felt overdone, and I feel they spent too much time on him. The idea that he’s been taught bad things by society about what a man is, fits the overal theme, but did we really need to know that he wanted to bang his cousin ? Yikes. And Arthur and the 35-yr old too, what the hell ? I just felt that their banter was a lot less natural and flowed less well than in OG. 

Least favorite similarity from OG : Really don’t know about this one. Most of what they kept was good. 

Most disappointing scene : the banter scene between the boys in 18:14, I always loved the banter between the boys in OG. Magnus saying stupid shit about gay s*x and being shut down felt educative without being heavy. Here there was way too much of Basile being gross again. And it just didn’t flow as well, the pacing was way too fast. A lot of the scenes that were a bit disappointing to me this season had to do with timing tbh, too fast. 

Something you wish they’d added :  I wish they actually had Lucas say he realized he’d say messed up stuff about mentally ill people.

Thing you wish the fandom would take away from this season : Chill a bit before drawing conclusions, wait for the whole season ahahaha. 

…

French word you will remember : I am French but I have never felt so validated in my overuse of the word ‘putain’. also saying mec/meuf a lot more. 

If you could steal one item from the set : Eliott’s camel jacket, I want one too, what a look. 

Scene you wish you could live in your own life : a lot of the romantic ones but also ? I wish I’d breaken into my high school to have a party at least once in my life lol. There’s a club next to my place in an old renovated school i reaaaally need to check out. 

Character you identify the most with : Eliott in general, Daphné for her overenthusiasm and awkwardness and spontaneity and optimism and drive to organize things. Lucas because of the whole trying so hard to control his image, being spiky on the surface and soft inside. 

Character you want to be like the most : Honestly, Lucas. Not in the beginning but his courage and his emotional intelligence and openness as the season progressed really are goals. It made me want to use my past painful experiences to extend compassion and be there for others, and learn how to be better at it. He’s going to grow into such an amazing man. And honestly his newfound pride in his relationship and pettiness are also goals lol. Imane as well, for how protective she is of her friends. And Alexia in terms of demeanour and confidence and funky vibe. 

Most relatable character moment : Lucas’ eyeroll. Emma and her lava lamp. Lucas being so immediately smitten with Eliott, because like, same. 

Fave fandom theory : lol I cracked up so hard at the whole ‘Eliott is a ghost’ thing, thx Billy Maier. I really don’t know why we were all so set on a bullying plotline, like why do we do that to ourselves lol ? 

Whew ! Well, if you read through all of that, you’re one hell of a nerd, and I love you !!! I’m doing S4 questions in a separate post because this is wayy too long !!! 

[magicianmew]

In defense of staying home

Ok, I have something to say, inspired by the little mini rant I just had in response to some stuff @orriculum is dealing with and posting about, and I figured I’d just get my own damn post rather than eating hers entirely.

I follow a lot of people who are college-ish age -- kinda very late millennial, very early Gen Z. I feel like I’ve been seeing a lot of this lately.

People being pressured to travel or move far away from home to “expand their mind.” Spend a year abroad, or move to LA for your career, or whatever the fuck it is.

Gen Z, by all appearances and by all studies, seems to be a more community- and home-focused generation. I mean, makes sense honestly. It’s the generation immediately following families splitting up cross country trying to find work. Why wouldn’t you want to try to foster your communities? But apparently this is annoying to y’all’s parents.

Let me tell you something.

I am 29, and I have spent half of my adulthood traveling or living very far from home, in spates of 2 to 3 years continuously, both abroad and through my very large country.

I have been that fearless crazy bitch out here by herself with no safety net and nothing more than 5 bucks in my pocket, either on the other side of an ocean from home, or with no home left to go back to at all.

And you wanna know how I feel, at the end of all that?

If I could have lived my life over again, I would have traveled less.

Far less. I never would have gone from home for more than a month or two. And when I finally realized I was wasting my time, I moved back to my home country, went to a cool little city in the South, got a little place to myself, and settled into a nice quiet life, where I spend a lot of time with my local community. I have no desire to ever go back to that life again, and I wish I had realized that sooner, because the truth is I can’t remember any point beyond the first few months where I actually enjoyed it.

I will tell you why.

People are people no matter where you go. This apartment is not that different from that apartment. And while cultures are different, that is something it is possible to learn about to some degree at home, and whether you require a deeper understanding than what you can get at home entirely depends on what you WANT.

You will only learn what you want to learn. That is why all these yuppies who spent a year in France or whatever come home and are just as unbearable and ignorant as they were before. They didn’t wanna learn anything. They just wanted to be able to say they spent a year in France so the plebes would feel shitty about themselves.

Traveling will only “expand your mind” if that is what you are genuinely looking for from traveling.

But you can also expand your mind in school, or working for underserved communities in your area, or through hobbies, or spirituality, or doing a million other things. Fucking off to another state, or another continent is not the only way of expanding your mind. And frankly, anyone who’s gonna sit here and argue that you need to do that in order to understand things like basic human empathy and reciprocity has something wrong with them.

Our society treats traveling as a sign of social clout -- something you’re privileged enough to do, which of course makes you better and smarter than everyone else. The idiocy of this is palpable. I mean, Trump’s traveled a lot, and the man can hardly read.

Briefly, traveling does not make you more mature, or more knowledgable, or even more worldly, necessarily. It depends how you do it, and whether you’re engaged enough in the process to actually take anything in from it. And beyond that, you can do other stuff that accomplishes the same goals right where the fuck you are.

Traveling, in and of itself, is a neutral. It is not always a “better” choice.

I don’t know why this doesn’t get talked about more, because here’s the thing. I don’t think I’m the only one to reach this conclusion at the end of it all.

When you travel extensively, you meet a lot of other travelers, immigrants, and relocators. We sort of form temporary communities. And I’ll be honest: most of these communities are not very happy places.

There are a lot of people who are struggling -- financially obviously, but also mentally. Leaving your community is very hard on the mind. It’s one of the reasons it drives me mental when people say immigrants “have it easy.” Even if they stay put after they move, it takes many years for your brain to adjust. It’s hard. Really hard. Depression after moving abroad is so common as to be virtually expected.

No one likes to talk about that. At least not until they’re about 6 drinks deep. But the fact that they get 6 drinks deep often enough for it to be a regular topic of conversation kind of proves my point, eh? And, like me, most of us quit and ultimately go home. I did wind up in another state, but that was mostly because I had no family left in my birth state, and I figured I might as well go for better weather.

Despite this very obvious and common self-destructive behavior within our communities, most travelers would never admit this sort of thing to other people. And I get why -- I’ve been there. We give up a lot to live out that dream, and we have a lot of nay-sayers telling us we can’t do it. The last thing we wanna admit is that we did it, and now we’re struggling.

Everyone thinks it’s really cool and amazing, and we kind of want to let them believe that’s actually true. We kinda wanna let people believe London is more than just another dirty crowded megacity (and not even a very good one, imho...). We kinda wanna let people believe that seeing starving children or helping in war zones was all literal white-knighting, not nightmares that still keep us up at night.

And that isn’t to say there aren’t people for whom traveling or moving far from home really is for them, and the path they stay committed to and happy with. But even for them, there are some really hard parts. And there’s stuff you give up. And we don’t get to talk about that outside of our temporary communities.

But also, for many of us, we decide it wasn’t really for us, and we go home. And society treats that as shameful, somehow. As if loving our home enough to return to it is some kind of personal failing. Like... how dare we think our own community is good enough to spend time around?

But you know what? I’m still happy to be back. And I’m never leaving again.

My years traveling were an outgrowth of a childhood in which I was raised without proper, invested relationships. I didn’t know I was a community-type person, because I had never had a community. So I traveled because I didn’t know what else to do, and as a way to differentiate myself, and make it clear that I wasn’t gonna be like the shitty people I grew up around. It took me all the way until my late 20′s to figure out that all I really wanted was a home that felt like home. It took me all that time to figure out why traveling wasn’t “making me a better person” the way everyone said it would.

And although I can’t regret it, because if I hadn’t done it I might never have figured that out, I wish I’d had that knowledge about myself earlier on so I could have saved myself a lot of years of confusion and wasted time and wondering what was wrong with me that I accomplished my dream, and still wasn’t happy.

So you know what, guys?

If you wanna travel, travel. It has good points -- especially if you’re invested in the process. It can change you. It can grow you. It can help you find where you belong in life.

But if you wanna stay home and knit and hang out with your friends from high school and marry your college sweetheart and help raise kittens at your local shelter and not go anywhere for more than a week?

Fucking do that. It is going to expand your mind, and your heart, way more than any sort of social display of class privilege for taking a year in France.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Drawn to the Blood (15x24)

This was such a great penultimate episode. Grey's Anatomy sure knows how to set up its crazy finales!

Cons;

Does anyone want to venture a guess as to what I'm about to complain about? Apparently Teddy has had a revelation that Owen is the great love of her life. She rushes to tell him, but finds Amelia in Owen's apartment with Leo instead. I realized this was coming when Owen was helping the agoraphobic blood donor and Teddy had this look on her face like she was mooning for him. And then later she gives Tom this really fond look that's clearly telling us she's getting ready to say goodbye. And then Kari, the paraplegic woman with her kid Toby, remind Teddy to "seize the day" or whatever. This whole time, I've been getting more and more invested in Teddy/Tom, knowing full well that this was a good possibility. But the thing is, I think Owen and Teddy make each other worse. It's not fun or romantic to watch. Teddy may be right that Owen is the only all-consuming passionate love she'll ever experience, but that kind of love is sort of poisonous, and Teddy is being a jerk to Tom, and Owen is not worth all of this. I'm frustrated.

Pros:

The good news is, the stuff with Teddy's love life was the only part of this episode that I didn't thoroughly enjoy and appreciate. The rest was pretty great.

First of all, you've got Jo. Alex sends in the big guns to try and help figure out what's going on: Meredith. She stays with Jo and finally gets her to talk about how she's feeling. Meredith shares experiences of her own trauma to help Jo come to terms with what she's facing, and they make a plan to get Jo the help she needs. I loved seeing Meredith play this role for Jo. Obviously Alex is desperate to help his wife, but Meredith really is the OG twisted sister. She knows how to pull people out of the darkness, because of how long she's spent there herself. I really appreciate how careful they're being with Jo's story. It's not the kind of melodramatic thing that gets solved immediately. Even now, with this breakthrough, we're just seeing the beginning of a healing journey. Jo is willing to start the work of getting better, but that's not the same thing as everything being magically fixed all at once.

Maggie and Jackson are camping, and Maggie hates it, but she's trying to be enthusiastic for Jackson's sake. While I don't think I'll ever totally love this couple, this was another moment where I grudgingly admit that they're not pissing me off like they used to. It's sweet that Maggie tries to share in Jackson's passion, and I like that Jackson wants her to enjoy it, but also isn't unduly upset that she's not 100% on board. It's a good balance. Maybe camping can be a very occasional thing for them. Maybe they can try glamping. I also like that this plot thread provided some much-needed levity to the episode, although of course things are pretty dire by the time the episode ends.

Bailey and Catherine spend the entire day in the board room, and everyone is freaking out about what's going on. Turns out, it's about the patient that Meredith committed insurance fraud to save. Andrew ends up taking the fall for her, to Meredith's horror. I loved everything about this setup, because we see that Meredith has been avoiding Andrew after the whole "I love you" thing, but that it's not an overly dramatic or painful separation situation. They're in an uncertain period, on the precipice between two people dating and two people in a serious relationship. And now, in true Grey's fashion, a serious obstacle has popped up to prevent their happiness. I loved the moment of Andrew and Meredith talking through the window in the hyperbaric chamber. Andrew makes a point to bring up Meredith's kids, to emphasize that this is for their sake. I am all emotional. I can't wait to see what happens from here.

It looks like another person with "golden blood" has been discovered to help Gus, but this woman, Frances, is severely agoraphobic. Schmitt and Owen have to work to help her get off the plane and come to the hospital. Meanwhile, Gus's father falls on Legos and breaks his butt, to general hilarity. I loved everything about this setup and payoff because it was the right mix of absurd and tragic. Poor Gus is really struggling, and of course we just want to shake Frances and tell her to get her ass to the hospital. But the actress playing Frances did an incredible job imbuing that character with pathos. I felt her pain and her fear, right alongside Gus and his parents. And then there's the broken butt, and the weird catharsis that comes from having something else to worry about for a moment.

Since it looks like Teddy/Owen is ramping up, I guess I'm going to have to get on board with Amelia/Link as a serious thing. Honestly, this episode was a good one for them. We see that Link is starting to take this all a bit more seriously, and he's clear and communicative about how he's feeling. Amelia is similarly level-headed about the whole thing, and it looks like the two of them are going to have a talk about their feelings soon. As I've stated in the past, I don't like Owen much. So I wasn't necessarily looking forward to seeing him with Amelia or Teddy. I guess the best I can hope for in whatever's coming next, is that one of these women can find happiness with someone who deserves them, and I think Link is a good guy.

I should also mention, just as a tidbit: we see that Nico is still in a really bad place, failing to see the humor in the broken butt situation. I hope that he and Levi have some sort of moment in the finale next week, because I really do root for them.

The setup for next week's finale is brilliant. As all of the drama escalates, we end up seeing various characters stuck in awful circumstances, as fog blankets all of Seattle. Jackson and Maggie are in the woods, camping, with no way of getting home. Meredith and Alex have just stepped in to the hyperbaric chamber with Gus, waiting desperately for the magic blood that can save him. And that blood? It's in a woman who is stuck in a car with Owen and Levi, while cars crash all around and into them on a blindingly foggy road. Meanwhile, Teddy has gone into labor, and Amelia is the only one there to help. Andrew is being arrested, Jo is still in crisis, and things are, generally speaking, bad. For everyone involved.

That's the making of an exciting finale next week, and I'm eagerly awaiting it!

9/10

[buddaimond]

Robert Pattinson: "I'd love to work with Godard"  

AlloCine France talks to Robert Pattinson about High Life. By Brigitte Baronnet - published on Nov 8, 2018

At the San Sebastian Festival's release of "High Life", we were able to talk to Robert Pattinson at length: the reflection of his Twilight experience, his choice of films and directors and his desires...

 It's been a long time since you've been waiting to work with Claire Denis!

Robert Pattinson :  High Life was for me a priority project.  It's a project that goes back a long time ago.  I think I was going to do The Lost City of Z and these two projects almost overlapped.  It seems to me an eternity ago.  It was clearly a long time ago.  I think there are 3 directors for whom I will be ready to cancel everything.

What attracts you to directors like Claire Denis or David Cronenberg?  You seem very determined on what you want to do.  You also shot the debut feature film by director Brady Corbet

I'm always a little concerned when it's a first film because I do not know how to interpret the work of the director.  But for Brady, I've known him for so long.

I like people who leave their own mark like Cronenberg, Denis ... We felt something very special, it's as if they have a world of their own in which the film encompasses. 

 Who approached who first?

Cronenberg really came out of nowhere.  It really changed everything in my approach to directors.  He came to me at random, I had never met him before. The other day, I found an exchange of emails that I had with my agent, when he had just offered me the role, in which I told him: "I do not know what I am doing, I shouldn’t do it, I will mess up everything."  I did not remember all that.

With Claire, I knew I wanted to work with her for years before meeting her.  It took ages before we managed to meet, and then for the film to be made.

I used to think I needed to have more control.  You think you’ll have more direct relationships with the audience than with the directors. For example, Bel Ami. For this particular film, I thought about it in terms of audience expectations. With Twilight, I had a very feminine audience, so I found it would be fun to play a role of this seducer who used women.  But afterwards I thought I shouldn’t trust this approach.

Coming back to Cronenberg, I really did not know how to do the movie. I was not sure I understood everything.  I even avoided talking to Cronenberg, and then I finally explained to him that I was not sure what the film was about.  And he replied, "Yeah, me neither!"  (laughs ) I said, "But I mean?..."  "Well, that's a cool thing, isn’t it?"  That film had a big impact for me.

When there are directors like that with whom you really want to work with, how important is the role for you?  Are there directors for whom you would play any role?

Yes, with any director whom I want to work with, I will play any role. You will not be on the losing end in this situation if you choose the right people to work with.

Where does this fascination for auteur cinema comes from and for directors like Claire Denis or Cronenberg?

I do not feel like it's art-house movie every time.  These are big names with whom I work for, so for me it's a bigger level than independent art film.  I do not feel like being in a super obscure film.

But I don’t see why I will turn to blockbusters.  Often we do not really know the directors of these films.  I think the really mainstream movies are pretty boring, as if I've seen them all before. When I receive these scripts, it's as if they're following a formula. It does not matter.  But I would like the directors I work with to have more viewers.  The audience earlier was more adventurous.

But you draw the public with your name ...

Yes, like 10 people! (laughs) I don’t know, but yes I would.  The majority of people who will go see the movie are people who love Claire.  But I hope that it creates a sort of expectation when they watch the movie, finding that I'm trying to make interesting choices.

You seem attracted to European cinema ...

I find it quite difficult to choose purely American films.  But yes, it's important. It gives a different tone to my career.  In Europe, the industry is different. And you get to go to Cannes too. That my films are played in European festivals means a lot to me.

Are there other French or French directors with whom you would like to work with?

I would love to work with Godard.  But he is very difficult to reach!  (laughs ) I always liked Jacques Audiard.  There is also Catherine Breillat, Leos Carax, Erick Zonca ... There are plenty!  It's impressive when you find yourself in the same room with Claire Denis for example.  I'm so happy to have worked with Claire Denis, but also because we really feel it's a Claire Denis film.

Is High Life exactly what you imagined? I did not know what to expect.  I did not have expectations in the good sense of the word.  Because when you see movies like Beau Travail, you can feel so much, without necessarily understanding everything.  I just know it's great.  I had complete confidence in what Claire wanted.  But I found the film funnier than I had imagined.  I laughed the first time watching it.  Maybe someone somewhere will find it funny too!

You started very young, how do you reflect upon your career after working with Denis, Safdie, Cronenberg ...

For me, there is no better career than I could dreamt of.  To have this crazy blast with Twilight was very fun ... I really liked doing all the Twilight movies. It was a great Twilight experience, then this direct transition that allowed me to do exactly what I wanted to do right after, I could not have asked for more! To be given the opportunity to work with a collection of filmmakers and films... When I was doing Twilight, I was asked if I was afraid to be typecast.  Each time I said no.

But with Twilight you have experienced what is perhaps the craziest and harshest aspect of Hollywood, being a celebrity ...

But if you have no expectations, it's still pretty easy to deal with.  If you do not wait for someone to treat you a certain way, it doesn’t matter. When all that happened, it was pretty intrusive, but at the same time, there were lots of people around me, I had a group of friends or people I had been working with for years, with whom we all took it with a lot of hindsight and humor.  I took it with humor.

 High Life: "We are not trying to please everyone"

Translated via google translate with some edits.

Source (original article in French)

[wings-of-a-storm]

Hello :) I'm glad that some people agree to say that today's clip was rushed. I was actually really annoyed all day because of it. The kiss where everybody can see, and Eliott randomly asking about Lucas' parents. I thought it was poorly written tbh and I'm sad to think that about a season I love so much. But it's not the first time they do that, and I know it's because they don't have much time. But how can they do this to a scene so important in this season?

Hi there! Aw, I know that feeling of frustration and I’m sorry it has been sitting with you for so long.

Looking at the clip on its own, I do think it felt rushed. When I watch it, I have to manually press pause between each line in order to create my own breathing space and keep up with the conversation. That doesn’t seem to be an unpopular opinion either…A lot of what felt rushed for me though, comes from Eliott himself. He had so much energy in the beginning and it was like he was chomping at the bit with every line. I almost took on his hyperactivity when I was watching it and felt exhausted. I’m not saying he was necessarily hypomanic or anything, I’m just saying he seemed very elated, like his thoughts were racing a bit. He launched himself at Lucas for that kiss without thinking of the consequences, then grabbed him to pull him down the corridor in the next breath, and when Lucas stopped him, he didn’t seem to process that was a set back.

Like how do you go literally straight from hearing “Wait-wait, I can’t skip class” to “I told Lucille!” with no drop in smile? I understand that Eliott was really excited and desperate for Lucas to know he’d taken such a big step for them but it didn’t feel natural the way there was no breathing room between the two concepts. There didn’t seem to be any normal cues of acknowledgement or disappointment from Eliott that his plans had been foiled. It was like he only half heard Lucas and just kept on going on with his next thought.

Even when he was telling Lucas he wasn’t sad while burrowing his face into Lucas’ with that massive smile, it felt like he had more energy than normal. If he was secretly experiencing some hypomania or something, that might make sense but I don’t want to jump to conclusions or sound like someone who attributes mental illness to every action someone does. I can only be honest and say that I was a little exhausted watching Eliott in that scene and I don’t normally experience that with him. So who knows. (And it wasn’t Maxence! We know how well he can do subtle.)

If you put Eliott’s energy and elation to the side, the clip did feel unnaturally fast overall. It doesn’t help that we happen to know how crucial and pivotal that scene is for the next arc of the story – you can’t help but feel a little cheated that the lines were being delivered so fast with little room between them to process the enormity of what was happening. Especially when you compare it to the pacing of the cake scene, which felt like unnecessary waffle in comparison (even though I know it was deceptive and the waffle was there for a reason. ie. dropping a few potential foreshadowing breadcrumbs like the ugly mural still being there, the new sofa bed, and maybe the filming of intimate acts).

I’m trying really hard to give the execution the benefit of the doubt though. I’m hoping the scene was deliberately fast for a reason, like we are supposed to feel as confused as Lucas at the sudden 180 from Eliott since we didn’t have time to process what was happening and what effects the words were having on Eliott either.

As a viewer though, the whiplash was a little intense – even if it was how Lucas was supposed to be feeling. I personally think the impact is felt deeper when the viewer has time to anticipate the effect Lucas’ words are having on someone who has shown signs of having a mental illness. That anticipation is a killer! It’s like a slow-motion car crash, and I much prefer the effect of that to a sudden blast that just leaves you feeling disorientated.

I’m wondering if the pacing of this clip will make more sense in the context of the overall episode though. Like maybe the episode is supposed to start off really slow and relaxed so that the building of pace acts as its own foreshadowing that the tidal wave is building and about to upend Lucas’ life? I mean, the cuddling in bed scene was so chill and unrushed, Lucas finding the drawing was also unrushed (but sad), the cake scene was unrushed, and then the pace starts to quicken with the Alex and Gang scene and now the ‘Crazy’ scene. With each scene, more stakes are raised and the pace rises? I guess we will need to check back in at the end of the episode to see if the pacing was a deliberate choice or not. (I mean, assuming we even survive the end of this episode…)

NOW, to the other things you raised…

A kiss where everyone can see them. This choice, I am highly suspicious of. It feels like it was there for a reason. It might play a different role from the og which feels weird to us now but will make sense later. Maybe it will spark rumours. Or maybe Eliott kissing Lucas at school without thinking of the consequences is supposed to be a moment that Lucas thinks back on after learning about Eliott’s bipolar disorder and takes it as a sign that Eliott was always manic and never loved him. It just feels like it was a deliberate choice that might not work as a single scene but will work connected to others? Hopefully, at least.

And maybe Lucas’ 180 was just a confidence game, and he lost himself in the moment when he was feeling more secure with Eliott. I can suspend my disbelief that far at least.

Randomly asking about Lucas’ parents. Oh anon, you absolutely came to the right place for this one! It’s like you knew that line has always been my personal bugbear in every single version! I have always disliked it. It always comes out of nowhere for me. Like, even in og Skam, it only half-worked for me and that was only because there was such a long gap between conversation before Even brought it up, making it feel more naturally random.

I think my main problem with that line is that it always feels like a plot device – like a means to get to the ‘My life is better off without crazy people in it’ line. It’s because Isak’s parents are so in the background, you forget they exist and are even a major factor in Isak’s life. We had never even heard Isak talk about his parents with Even. If Even had asked ‘What would your friends think about us?’ (whom Even does know and interact with) then I don’t think it would feel so jarring while getting the same point across.

I think the other reason the line jars me is because Isak’s internalised homophobia and severely closeted situation is never overtly acknowledged until this scene. It requires sorting through a lot of subtext on the spot to understand why Even is even bringing it up as a barrier to their relationship the way Sonja was. The concept of a girlfriend is very different to the concept of being in the closet. It just doesn’t feel set up right if it takes time to link it to Sonja (ie. a barrier in their relationship). So I am pulled out of their conversation for a moment while I place its relevance.

It was even more jarring in Skam Italia for me but for the same reasons (the internalised homophobia had never been acknowledged between them until this line).

With Skam France, it unfortunately comes straight after talk of Lucille, so the relevance isn’t immediately obvious more than any other version. Like Eliott broke up with his girlfriend and now he’s bringing Lucas’ absent parents into it even though they have never spoken about them before in front of the viewer? I get that it is one of Lucas’s barriers, but his parents seriously feel far less relevant than the stressors of Lucas’s immediate environment (his peers). So the line once again feels like a plot device more than natural dialogue. In my experience, at least… Okay phew, I am glad to have that out of my system.

Not sure if I helped allay any of your frustrations at all but do know that I feel you and I understand them. :)

[onestowatch]

Indie Songstress Noé Channels Sleepless Nights & Clouded Thoughts in ‘ibynoé’ Debut [PREMIERE + Q&A]

Photo Credit: Claire Cali

Born and raised in France, Los Angeles-based Noé is the sweet girl next door who also happens to have a lot to say. Although Noé is incredibly humble when discussing her musical journey, her soaring talent is truly undeniable and uncontainable. Channeling sleepless nights and clouded thoughts, Noé is finally unveiling her highly-anticipated debut EP, ibynoé.

The six-track collection opens with “Color,” which is an intense telling of Noé’s powerful vocals in its purest form. “Rabbit Hole” captivates listeners with just one listen as Noé experiments with an eclectic array of instrumentals. The astonishing “i cheated on u” features a sultry soundscape that sounds like it was organically crafted with just Noé’s gorgeous voice and a trusty acoustic guitar.

Picking up the pace is “Puzzles,” an upbeat track that sees Noé reflecting on her pattern of falling for guys who are hard to get and turning away the ones who show her any interest. With an otherworldly piano opening alongside Noé’s French pronunciation,“La Fève” is sung entirely in Noé’s native tongue. And finally, ibynoé closes with “Pity Party,” a lighthearted tune that takes a jab at Noé’s evident tendency to be overdramatic.

Photo Credit: Andrea Czarnota

On ibynoé, Noé exclusively shared with us,

“Putting out these songs makes me feel so proud, but also a little bittersweet. I’ve worked so much on this EP. It took so many thoughts, overthoughts, sleepless nights, crying, love, anxiety, and more. This EP was basically my baby and now it feels like it’s off to college. I spent such a long time with these songs at the forefront of my brain, that it’s a little weird having them out into the real world, and having to start focusing on new songs - although I am also really excited for that new chapter!”

Ones To Watch has your first listen of ibynoé below:

To celebrate Noé’s stunning debut EP, we recently chatted with the lovely songstress about her musical roots, her appreciation for DIY works, and of course, ibynoé.

OTW: What first sparked your interest in music as a child?

Noé: I used to watch The Wiggles a lot, so they might have sparked something in me! But on a serious note, I started playing guitar at nine after going through some health issues. They thought music might help with recovery and give me a means of escape, and it did! Wrote my first song soon after and now I’m here. So crazy.

OTW: Your fusion of alternative R&B and pop is so refreshing. How did you decide this is what you wanted your sound to be?

Noé: I don’t think I decided that that would be my sound. My sound definitely came once I stopped trying to decide what it should be. Once I just started doing music I liked without wondering which box I would be put in. I’m so glad I ended up with something you find refreshing!

Photo Credit: Susanne Berry

OTW: How has your French heritage shaped your music?

Noé: French being my first language, I think I approach English in a different way. It leads to different melodies and weird lyrics because I’ll find myself translating from French sometimes. Also the “classics” of French music are basically poets. Words are the driving force, which isn’t necessarily the case in English. So when I write for myself, I usually let the words guide the melody and the song itself.

OTW: If you could describe your new EP in five words, what would they be?

Noé: A whole lot of me.

OTW: How is “Rabbit Hole” a Frankenstein of a song?

Noé: Haha, I said that because of the vocals. All the vox are first takes of me improvising in the mic in the studio. If you heard them one by one, they would probably sound really off. But somehow together it worked well. I was supposed to re-record everything, but I got demo fever and fell in love with the original so we never changed it. If you listen to the chorus, I was actually recording and improvising reading some words I wrote. I landed on a melody I liked so I tried to re-sing it right away but couldn’t remember it perfectly. That whole take is now the chorus!

Photo Credit: Claire Cali

OTW: “Puzzles” is such a playful tune with lively instrumentals, but what exactly is this song about?

Noé: It’s definitely about someone specific who is (I think?) super oblivious to the fact that this song is about him. He wanted to be more than friends and was very open about his feelings, and I got overwhelmed. I tend to want those who don’t want me back, and I lose interest as soon as they do. Really bad habit that I’m slowly breaking!

OTW: You made your own visualizer for “La Fève” with the Eiffel Tower in the background. What inspired this webcam approach?

Noé: I love DIY stuff. I feel like it shows a lot about someone’s personality. Even on my Instagram, it makes me uncomfortable when I post too many “photographer” photos. It’s a little too perfect. I don’t want people to lose sight of the act that I’m just a girl making music I love. There isn’t a crazy team behind me telling me who to be. I didn’t have any music video planned for “La Fève,” and literally two days before the release I decided to Amazon Prime some crowns and act silly in front of Photo Booth. And I love that Eiffel Tower backdrop; it’s so stereotypical, I just had to use it!

OTW: If you could perform anywhere in the world, where would you pick?

Noé: I’ve been feeling a little homesick lately, so I’m gonna pick Cassis in the South of France. It’s a little town super close to my heart. Might even be my favorite place on Earth. It’s 20 minutes away from my hometown, Aix en Provence, so we’d go there most weekends during summer. Sometimes they put on shows by the lighthouse, and I’ve always wanted to perform there! It’s truly beautiful; Google “les Calanques de Cassis!”

OTW: Who are your Ones To Watch?

Noé: Mafalda - one of my closest friends, but I’d be a fan of her music even if she wasn’t. Her EP is coming out so so soon and I truly can’t wait! Matt Rose - played the Troubadour with him once and he blew me away. Such an amazing songwriter/performer. Chappell Roan - saw her perform a few songs at Winston House and I’ve been hooked ever since. Her voice is crazy.

Photo Credit: Andrea Czarnota

[cassatine]

Wait, I've been reading your posts on Macron (I'm not really well-versed in the nuances of French politics, so I may be getting something wrong here) but it seems you're saying that he's acting like a dictator, refusing to cede power, using the army to maintain his control... but when that scottish blogger cybersmith said it, you said that was wrong. Is Macron a tyrant or not? (also, I hope yor okay, some people have been hurt)

Yeah huh what “that scottish blogger” actually said, and I quote:

Does it not alarm you that Macron has announced his intention to rule your homeland and countrymen in perpetuity as an eternal dictator, even going so far as to proclaim himself a manifestation of divinity? Or do you still find this preferable to the possibility of a (humanely implemented) regime change carried out by concerned neighbour-states?

and

I did warn you about Macron. Now he has openly declared his intention to rule France as an immortal god-king.

and

He… Literally compared himself to a pagan sky-father. I’m not being a conspiracy theorist. He makes no secret of it now that he has won the election.

and

As a French person, would you be in favour of a New Reconquista to rescue the lands of Europe from Illuminati-Backed Jihadism? I am planning to ask my MP to bring this up on the House Of Commons (because of the upcoming GE in the UK) but it occurs to me that such an endeavour would necessarily start in France, and I hadn't discussed this with any French People. Do you think foreign intervention -from the Occidental nations that yet remain free- will be necessary to unseat the vile Satrap Macron? 

and, from an unanswered ask because I HAVE FUCKING LIMITS.

When I pointed out that your country would be better of under a monarch, or with externally-imposed regime change, you scoffed at me. Now the aspiring god-king is readying his merciless troops to slaughter your countrymen, cementing his iron rule with a mortar of blood and tears. I was correct, from the very beginning.

I mean I don’t want to sound mean, anon, but there is a difference between "Macron & his gvt are flirting with authoritarianism by exploiting the weakness of the Vth Republics institutions and of representative democracy because he’s fucked, with on one side a population that doesn’t want his reforms and on the other the private interests that helped him get where he is (+the actually hard-to-avoid obligations that come with being part of the EU)" and "immortal god-king” bullshit. 

I bolded the important parts. Look, what Macron & co are doing is gaming the system, so to speak (see first bolded part), and not to establish some kind of dictatorship headed by an immortal god-king or whatever, but because overall the french are chauvinists attached to their conception of social and economic justice who have been noping in the face of unchecked neoliberalism, and that’s no good for das kapital. Macron’s doing exactly what’s been done by many others -- he went from banking to public service, and he probably intends to go back to banking, and the point of his public stint isn’t politics or even ruling or power, it’s to enact reforms benefitting his class and open the door wide to that unchecked neoliberalism the general public doesn’t like much. His plans for Europe are in the continuity of this. 

But the thing is, Macron didn’t really do anything our previous gvts. didn’t do (beyond not bothering to hide his class disdain, which certainly helped to get people against him. most politicians at least have the sense to use lube before fucking us over, but his party is amazingly shitty on that end), he’s just... accelerated the cadence. And sure he got where he is and did what he’s been doing not without some very illegal shit, but mostly because systemically the conditions were already there for him or someone like him -- there’s this old joke that everyone here knows and that says it all: we don’t have a president, we have a king.

Now don’t get me wrong, what’s going on here is shitty, and I’m afraid because it’s far from over, but we still have quiiite a way to go before dictatorship (we do have counterpowers, even the Senate got in on it), and I hate to admit it but if Macron’s refusing to step down of like, his own initiative, there is no ongoing procedure or motion or whatever that would obligate him to. As to the army, that shit is scary af but again, there’s a nuance to make -- although I’m really fucking scared that they might end up firing on people during protests and the communication around their deployment at the last protest was abysmal, the gvt. doesn’t want them to fire. I’m afraid it will happen not in the sense that they will be ordered to fire, I’m not quite there yet, but in the sense that the Sentinelle (the concerned unit) are not trained for crowd control. The gvt. also doesn’t want to use them outside of the specific context of GJ protests (and yknow, their actual duties). The Sentinelle people are an anti-terrorism brigade, and calling them specifically is part of the ongoing effort to depict GJ as... well, terrorists, or at the very least definitely dangerous. 

It was also a gambit. They’re still hoping they’ll find THE thing to keep the GJ home, and the fact that they’re down to waving the threat of the army around (and again, I Worry, but that’s what putting the Sentinelle specifically where the GJ are not supposed to protest amounts to, abysmal communication notwithstanding) when people are already aware protesting might kill them (because it happened!!), among other ugly consequences is scary af, yes, but it’s also a sign that the gvt.’s options to maintain itself have dwindled something crazy. You call the army when you’re losing control, not when you have it. 

Because again, our man Manu is kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, he’s got the GJ and little popular support, and an actual politician would have to factor that. But on the other hand, that boy owes. He owes to those who helped put him where he is to defend their interests and who keep helping him so that he keeps doing exactly that. He can’t give the GJ what they want without losing that support, he can’t leave without losing that support, and without it he’s just plain fucked. 

So basically we’re in a complicated situation! The specters of full-blown authoritarianism, plutocratic dictatorship, and who knows what other horrors loom on the horizon. But so do others, like the specter of our victory, and now that we’ve seen it...

The thing is that we’ve won a huge battle already, because Macron was supposed to deliver a success story. He was supposed to reform the unreformable! To maintain the oh so practical ‘populism’ (ie. the far right and the left -- it’s not quite the same here as in the US, but we’re seeing a similar displacement of meaning wrt. the left, the far left and the ‘center’) vs ‘liberalism’ (ie. unchecked neoliberalism basically) pseudo-opposition, in which one is the only solution to the other, the only alternative! He was supposed to be the youthful, energic face of progressism, a Mozart of finance who would deliver where traditional politicians couldn’t. He was supposed to unite ze french beyond political and social divides (and he kinda did do that, ironically enough), and a bunch of shit besides. 

We fucked that up, and we fucked it up good. Most of the merit is his, though -- he got us to the current situation. He got us to people asking for his head (metaphorically), but more than that, he got us to realize what’s become a slogan: fin du monde, fin du mois, même combat -- end of the world, end of the month, same fight, and he got us talking about the relative merits of participative and representative democracy and how our institutions should work and for whom because collective intelligence is actually a thing and we realized he is a symptom and it’s the root we need to go after. Not that no one knew it before, but the trajectory from protests against an oil tax to the protests we have now, that’s a victory unto itself.  

Anyway, I forgot the point somewhere, but overall, going from the symbolic “jupiterian presidency” WHICH IS WHAT TCS WAS REFERRING TO FFS to the painfully literal “Macron has announced his intention to rule your homeland and countrymen in perpetuity as an eternal dictator, even going so far as to proclaim himself a manifestation of divinity“ etc etc is still a really bad take (and I’m not Going There but “New Reconquista” is not an innocuous term). Reality is weird and shitty enough as it is, thanks.