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#every song i listen to im like i need to draw them on the beach about this
divin8ion · 11 months
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being obsessed with mocking up flower music videos is so fucking stupid because its really like. so for this verse there are two girls facing each other on a beach. and then during the chorus theres going to be a big magic fight happening and sometimes it seems real but sometimes it seems more like props in a play. okay now for the second verse were back at the beach. but theres only one girl this time. and she looks more suicidal than ever
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floydsglasses · 8 months
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𝗜'𝗺 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝗱 𝗗𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀
This is gonna be bad im just warning you im freaking tired and stressed, they are gonna be Sad and Happy and UNHINGED.
Bradley has a little Rooster figurine in the front of his jeep, he got as a gag joke and was gonna leave it at whatever house he got it at but now has emotional attachment to it.
Jake's go to song in Karaoke when he is sober is Queen, he will belt out We Will Rock you, but when he is drunk enough he will sing Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 with every bit of southern twang he can
When Bob is really angry he will drop his midwest accent and go full on southern, like deep south
Natasha lost a bet in high school and had to get a bad tattoo, said tattoo was something like a duck with a cowboy hat, or stupid quote, you decide
Mickey unironically sings the lyrics to Taylor Swift's Love Story, like he will sing the bridge at the top of his lungs going sixty on the highway.
Rueben is the kind of guy to say he won't rage quit a video game then will toss the controller after failing two time's.
Javy would be the kind of guy who would let a kid paint his nail's, pink purple yellow, he does not care he will flaunt it off it because it makes the kid happy.
Bradley would somehow get a cat or dog, like one of those distribution system's like on tiktok, he would say he would foster it but end up keeping it naming it something human like, Kevin or Betty
Natasha say's she dosent like country music, but wont admit she would get down to some Luke Bryan here and there because who wouldn't
Bob seems like if he was put into a situation where him and his friend's got lost, he would be the calm one but on the inside he is panicking, he will see an exit sign with a restaurant and be like. "Guy's its okay there's burgers."
Javy will pull over when he sees cows and take there picture's. No joke would even try and pet one.
Rueben and Mickey are the worst people when it comes to trivia because they are so good at it, when they get an answer right they increasingly get more competitive.
Jake cried playing RDR2 when Arthur died and he also despised Micah like the rest of us.
Rueben is great at bowling, so good that most of the time no one play's with him
Bob will doodle little drawings on sticky note or notebook's when he is bored and give them to any of the dagger's, He drew Natasha a sketch of bird, she kept it in her locker.
Bradley has a mixtape from his dad, Goose, titled "Song's You Need to Hear Once", it's all filled with songs from the Sixties to the Eighties, all classic's from Rock to Motown, after his mom died he didnt dare to touch it, after the uranium mission he starting listening again.
Natasha has bracelets from her little cousin's that she wear's for good luck, they are bright yellow and purple string's, she never take's them off ever
Jake collects stickers from each state, his dad used to bring him a sticker from each of his trips before he got too busy, so he is trying to finish them off himself.
Mickey has a tattoo to honor his family, a way to have a piece of them everywhere he goes. A small quote in Spanish on his side stating Por aquellos que amo me sacrificaré/For those I love I will sacrifice
Reuben like to sleep in a hammock sometime's under the stars, reminding him of his childhood and growing up in the south, when he would play outside with his siblings
Javy is a momma's boy, in a good way, this man will always call his mom or text her about the thing's going on his life, before a big mission or detachment he calls her, tell her he loves her.
Jake has stepped on a jellyfish on a beach, after saying "oh they dont sting'" just for him to get shocked
Bradley broke his arm doing stunts on his bike as a kid, he has permanent scars on his forearm, he did in fact do it twice till Carole told him to not do it again.
Natasha and Bob learned the Rasputin Dance from Just Dance
Mickey has argued with people that pineapple belongs on pizza, he will full on go tooth and nail to defend his claims.
Reuben has knocked the Radio off in the Rec room, and has blamed it on Hangman, it was a whole debacle
Javy has a fear of snake's, he found one once and he took of running leaving his friend's to deal with it.
OKAY THAT IS ALL SHE WROTE, I know some of these dont make sense but I dont care i needed a stress reliver before another stressful week. AND THATS ALL SHE WILL WRITE BECAUSE THIS FAILED AGAIN
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tonberry-yoda · 7 months
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°afab her/she
°Bi
°One piece or Overwatch
°Don't really wanna be paired with Sanji lol also not any one piece girls that I'm into except maybe Madam Shyarly and also not into Tracer or Mei
°I'm really freaking shy. I'm usually calm but sometimes depends on the mood so I can be easily annoyed, patient but not that patient. I'm ngl I'm lazy haha, I'm usually pretty stubborn and take some explaining for me to change my mind about something, reserved, very quiet in the beginning but when I get to know someone I'll slowly open up and can be quite talkative if I'm in the mood for it. I like to tickle people (that I'm close enough with) that are ticklish,
°Out of a relationship I want a life partner but def no kids (and leaning no towards marriage), a person I can always go to for whatever it is, no polyamory tbh,
°I love stargazing, playing video games, meditating, listening to music, working out is nice, cooking, hikes (but not like the super crazy ones where you need some equipment) shwimming, worldbuilding, drawing like architecture type stuff, tryna get into caring for plants and things I'm interested in are the ocean - I just love everything about it (the animals, the way it looks both under it and above such as the waves/shore and coral reefs), space (I find it fascinating, like whats out there y'know? And not to mention how beautiful it looks), I love philosophy (can have a bunch of interesting debates y'know?) Also thinking of learning to play guitar later on
°My wardrobe mostly consists of black clothes, band shirts (rock genre), skinny jeans - mainly also black but some have like red patterns and some have like pockets and zippers; think hot topic for an idea, I do have a few things that aren't like that like sweat pants, hoodies, some shorts I'd pair with tights. I paint my nails (mostly black) and I wanna have tattoos one day not sure which kind yet tho - leaning towards oceany beachy vibes or cyberpunk vibes, maybe a few space ones here and there.
°My type of guy is assertive, calm, quiet, - although I don't mind a more different kinda guy like more rowdy and whatnot. I like guys that are kinda blunt (if they know how to be blunt without being rude although I may sometimes overlook the rudeness depending) attractive, don't care for height although most people are taller than me, loyalty. As for girls same could be said for girls. Lookswise I like both of them to be more on the masculine side. Also if you wanna choose a non-human character for me I'd more than welcome it haha be it an omnic or fishman although no minks.. Not really into them tbh
°My music taste is mainly rock (a lot of rock subgenres I like but some I really love are here) and especially metal but I do love a few other genres that I'll listen to every once in a while such as r&b, electronic, pop, and some reggae but reggae is kinda rare for me mainly reggae that's got like a beach vibe going.. unless that's what the reggae seen is? Idk if there's reggae songs that don't have beach vibes but anyways! Also rock reggae is cool and so is ska punk or skate punk; that skateboarder (I think it could be known as that? Maybe im wrong idk lol I blame my crappy memory) music also gives me the beach vibes and there's been quite a few songs and couple o bands I enjoyed in that genre.
°My love language is quality time together and gifts, I can be pretty materialistic (not that much tho) as I just love shopping.
°Idk if mbti types could help but Im an Intp and I know zodiacs are just for fun but my zodiac is actually a lot like me which is Aries~ I also tend to have a preference more towards men than women; tend to like guys more often. I like my space so I can be alone from time to time - It's pretty nice and relaxing
-Thanks for letting me add stuff I forgot btw!!
notes - Hey anon! Your patience means the world to me and I really hope that you enjoy this! My apologies for the hiatus, but hey, I'm not getting paid to do this anyway lol. I really hope you have a super day and enjoy the matchup :)
THE CHARACTER I CHOSE FOR YOU IS...
ARLONG !!
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it just really fits
the beachy vibe, the love for philosophy and architecture, I just see y'all
he's a super blunt man, and you love that about him
and he loves you with all his heart. it's a lot of admiration for you. he just loves the things your passionate about and could listen to you all day
you two work really well together and travel a lot together
he overall just appreciates you as someone he can have by his side
bro spoils you. if your love language is gift giving, just know you will be showered with gifts
he's honestly the perfect partner to just work with and travel with that will meet your needs with lots of love <3
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luckyqueenreign · 2 years
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No Other Love - Chapter 3: Mad Woman
The islanders head for a night out at 'the movies' where secrets are revealed.
🎵 Song 🎵: Mad Woman
Every time you call me crazy I get more crazy What about that? And when you say I seem angry I get more angry
Thank you to my angel bb @katsie who spoils me with her editing skills and who I love so much and don't deserve. She also added like a full page to this so this was basically cowritten by Kat.
Tag list: @katsie @future-mrs-suresh @litg-burnbook @0shewrites0 @bradybunch111 @whati390 @hi-im-karla @fujihime-litg @kunepie @differenttyphoonwerewolf @earlyevenings @pho3nixx67 @sienna2world @kikithegr8 @theesocialintrovert @iamgaryrennells @kiwi-tai @sortedchaos @pus-things @abecerra611 (let me know if you want to be added on to tag list)
Read on AO3
Gemma was suffocating under the pressure of it all and she couldn’t breathe. She awoke to find herself tangled under Nicolas’ heavy limbs, his leg splayed on top of hers and his arm draped heavily over her chest, preventing her from taking anything but small shallow breaths. She tried twisting her body underneath him but it only made him stir and move closer to her, holding her tighter than before. 
This is impossible. I need to wake him up or I’ll suffocate to death. 
“Nic,” she whispered. 
“Mmm…” he groaned. 
“Nic, I can’t breathe,” she gasped. 
He opened his eyes slowly and smiled, gently lifting his leg and arm off of her. 
“I’m sorry about that, beautiful.” 
She suppressed an annoyed groan. Why did he have to keep calling her that? Suresh had always called her that. It was his thing, and Nic doing it made her uncomfortable.
“It’s okay. I just wanted an earlier start to the day,” she said, stretching as she got up. “But you sleep in.” She noticed Suresh wasn’t in bed and she couldn’t stop herself from wondering where he’d gone. She immediately pushed the thought from her mind. 
He’s with Lulu now, she reminded herself and quickly headed for the dressing room to clear her head.
She could hear the other islanders finally getting up as she finished getting ready, and listened as some of them called dibs on the showers, others headed out to the gym, while the sensible ones announced they were getting breakfast. Her heart skipped a little when her phone pinged, and she listened to see if anyone had heard. Then she was filled with a sense of dread as she realized the text she received was specifically for her, it was production asking her to head to the beach hut for an interview. Oh god, this isn’t going to be fun, she thought as she reached for the door knob. Before she had a chance to even reach it, it flew open and she stumbled back. A pair of hands grabbed her arms, keeping her from falling. She stared up at Suresh with wide eyes, and he smiled down at her.
“You ok, G?” It was like an unspoken electric charge passed between them, drawing them closer to one another. 
“Yeah, sorry about that,” she said, straightening herself out and taking a small step back, out of his grip. 
“Don’t apologize.” His hand twitched at his side as he dropped it. He wanted to touch her face but didn’t know if it would be a good idea or not. As if his hand made up his mind for him, his palm reached for her cheek, taking a strand of hair that had escaped her messy bun and tucked it behind her ear. Gemma took a shaky breath, frozen to the ground, unsure of what to do or say. Words were lost to her at this moment, stuck in the lump in her throat. She smiled up at him and right as she was going to say something they heard someone walking down the hall, towards them. His hand left her cheek, leaving it cold in his absence. 
They both turned to see Nicolas walking towards them. Suresh sighed, clearly annoyed to see him. 
“I’ll catch you later, Gem,” he said as he walked away, stealing one final glance at her. 
Nicolas walked up to her smiling, holding out his phone. “Hey Gem, did you get a text to come to the beach hut, too? Nicolas asked with a big grin. “I think we’re doing a couples interview.”
“Yeah…I did,” she said. “Let’s head inside.” As he closed the door behind them, Gemma briefly touched her cheek. 
Following their uneventful beach hut interview that took up most of the morning, Gemma found herself on the daybeds with Nicolas’ head in her lap as he told her different stories that she’d inadvertently stopped paying attention to. She added in the occasional  “umms” and “ahhs”, laughed when it seemed he was getting ready for a punchline, but she was too distracted to focus. She was absentmindedly playing with his hair when she saw Suresh pulling Lulu for a chat on the bean bags. Until then she hadn’t noticed that they were the only two not spending the day together. Suresh looked awkward, like he was having a hard time saying what he needed to say. Lulu sipped on her water bottle and nodded sadly. She said something with a crease in her brow, but Gemma couldn’t hear any of their conversation from where she sat, and it wasn’t like she could read their lips either. 
Are they breaking up? she wondered as she continued to weave her fingers through Nicolas’s hair. This looks like a breakup chat. 
At that moment, Suresh got up and hugged Lulu. 
That was definitely a break up chat. 
Suresh glanced around and Gemma’s chest tightened when they locked eyes. He took a deep breath before making his way over. Her hands started to sweat. 
He’s coming to talk to me. He’s coming to talk to me. He’s actually coming to talk to me. 
Her heart was hammering against her ribs and she was certain they were being bruised. She couldn’t breathe, her hands stilling in Nic’s hair. He didn’t notice.
She couldn’t help notice that Suresh looked anxious. Why was he anxious?
You’ve got this, Gemma, she told herself as she tried to calm her own nerves. 
*TEXT PING* 
Alfie and Meera were in the kitchen when he shouted, “Hey! I’ve got a text!” 
Suresh sighed, but changed course and walked over to the kitchen with the other islanders coming up behind him. 
Alfie made a show of clearing his throat before he read out the text as dramatically as he could, “Islanders, it’s time to get glammed up and hit the red carpet as you attend Mad Movies the premiere! #SpillThePopcorn #ITV2andChill.” 
“Mad Movies? So the movies are about us?” Nicolas asked. 
“It seems to be that way,” Alfie said, then continued reading the instructions. “This will be a boys vs girls challenge. Each team will sit on opposite sides answering questions. Whoever gets the question right, or closest to the correct answer, will get to choose which movie they want to watch.” 
“Oh…” Nicolas suddenly looked nervous. 
“You look a little green there, Nic. You have any secrets you don’t want shared?” Kat teased. 
“What? No!” Nic answered, his voice a note too high. “I’m totally fine.” He smiled at Gemma, but she could sense something was wrong. He was hiding something.
“Should we go get glammed up then girls?” Lulu asked. 
“Yes, let’s go!” Gabi trilled. 
After finishing up their looks, the girls made their way outside and gawked at the yard, which had been completely transformed in a matter of hours. In the middle of the lawn were two long tables lined up with popcorn, snacks and drinks. A row of chairs were lined up one side, facing a large theater-sized screen that read ‘WELCOME TO MAD MOVIES’.  
“Oh my god girls! Look, that table is for us, I cannot wait to see what hot goss we’re going to uncover!” Kat laughed. 
“Be careful what you wish for, Kat. You and Finn both have movies up there,” Dana cautioned. 
Kat leered at her, flipped her hair and proceeded to ignore her. “Obviously Finn’s been a good boy but if we girls win the first point, that’s definitely the movie we’re watching first. No ifs, ands or buts about it.” 
Gabi rolled her eyes and said, “I’m glad we’re all being team players here.” 
*TEXT PING* 
Gemma looked down at her phone and read out the first trivia question, “On average, roughly how many acts of sexual intercourse happen around the world every day?” 
She could hear the boys murmuring but focused on what the girls were saying. 
“OK, there’s eight billion people in the world,” Lulu whispered. We have to factor in babies, kids and super old people. None of them are having sex.”  
“And the text says everyday, too,” Gemma added. “The number can’t be that high.” 
She could hear Nicolas suggest two billion and the boys agreeing. 
“So what are we thinking, like 80 million?” Dana asked. 
“Yes! Let’s go with that,” Gabi whispered. 
Gemma wrote in their answer and a few seconds later they received a text alerting them the girls won. 
“Yes! Girls win, the answer is 100 million and we get to choose the first movie,” Gemma said excitedly. 
The screen suddenly updated and listed the ‘coming attractions’. 
The Sure-shank Redemption 
The Disaster Artist 
Good Finn Hunting
The Fast & The Furious 
“Girls, we obviously want to start with Good Finn Hunting, right?” Kat asked annoyingly. 
“Ugh just let her have it,” Meera said. “If we don’t give her the movie now, she’ll be whining about it all night.” 
The girls looked at Meera surprised and a few chuckled. 
“Personally I want to see The Sure-shank Redemption,” Gabi said and pointedly looked at Gemma. “See what kind of mess Suresh has been getting into behind our backs.” 
“We don’t have time for this…We pick ‘Good Finn Hunting’,” Gemma conceded. 
The screen came to life with Finn and a busty brunette chatting in bed at Casa Amor. She was wearing skimpy lingerie and eyed him seductively. 
“Do you know who you’re sharing a bed with tonight?” she asked. 
He smirked at her and played with her hair. 
“Well I couldn’t possibly kick you out of my bed when you look this good in it,” Finn teased. 
She inched closer to him wrapping herself around him and the clip cut to another scene. 
Finn and Eddie were whispering in what still looked to be Casa Amor. 
“So where’s your head at?” Eddie looked at Finn with a worried look on his face. 
Finn ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Mate, I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, Kat’s a great girl and all, but her kissing Alfie? That changed everything for me. She’s so immature, how can I possibly trust her? And then there’s Millie and Gemma, who I think are way more my type.” 
“Would you ever recouple with either of them?” 
“Honestly…Yes. Millie might be a little high maintenance for me and bringing her back from Casa Amor might prove challenging, but Gemma? She’s special. There’s something about her that I just can’t put my finger on. She’s stunning, obviously, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”  
Kat looked at Gemma and Finn with fire in her eyes. 
“So I’m not your type then, Finn? You want Gemma now?” She said Gemma’s name as if it were sour and having it in her mouth disgusted her. “And who the fuck is Millie? Was it that bitch you spent the night with, while I slept alone every night?” 
“Kat, I was just mad about the kiss before Casa,” Finn said as he shifted awkwardly. “It  didn’t mean anything.” He stole a glance at Gemma, then quickly looked down at the beer in front of him. 
“I won’t sit around and be made a mug of, Finn,” she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest. “You better come and speak to me immediately after this is done.” 
*TEXT PING* 
“Come on guys, it’s all good, let’s move on to the next one,” Alfie said, trying to break the tension. “Let me read the next question.” He took a deep breath. “What precentage of people use their smartphones during sex?” 
“Ok girls, we need to get this one. The last movie was savage and now I'm scared to see what footage they have on us,” Gabi said. 
“It’s got to be high, people film it or watch porn on their smartphones,” Dana said. 
“Ok, so what are we thinking, like 50%?” Meera asked. 
There was a mixture of ‘yeahs’, so Meera sent in their response. 
*TEXT PING* 
“Answer is 20%. Boys win!” Alfie cheered. 
Once more the screen came to life with a curtain closing on the boys’ coming attractions, now listing the girls’. 
There’s Something about Meera 
The Ex Files 
The Truth About Kats & Dogs
She’s Just Not That Into You 
LuLu Land 
The Wedding Planner  
“Finn, you want to see Kat’s?” Alfie offered. 
“Actually, yes,” Finn said. “If you boys don’t mind.”
“I’d much rather watch The Ex Files,” Suresh said, eyeing Gemma. 
“Let’s do that one on the next go,” Nicolas said. “I’m curious about that one, too.” 
“Alright,” Alfie said, rubbing his hands together excitedly. “Let’s see The Truth About Kats & Dogs.” 
The screen faded to black, then an image of Kat lit up. She sashayed into the living room to find Suresh deep in thought. She sidled up close to him on the couch, placing her hands on his shoulders and started gently massaging him. 
“Suresh, it kills me to see you so upset,” she cooed. “Are you spooked by Gemma’s secret, that she was going to propose to you?” 
He shrugged her off his shoulders and moved slightly over, creating more space between them on the couch. 
“Kat…please. I’d like to be left alone right now, if you don’t mind.” 
But Kat wasn’t taking no for an answer. She gently cupped his face and forced him to look at her. 
“Babe, you said it yourself, you’d both be better off if you moved on. So why don’t you let me help you. I can take your mind off of Gemma,” she giggled and leaned just a little bit closer. “Help you see what else is out there. You might like it.” She attempted to close the distance entirely, but Suresh stood up so fast Kat nearly face-planted into the pillows.
Suresh headed to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. 
The clip cut to a different scene with Alfie and Kat on the roof terrace. 
“Babe, I know what I saw,” Kat said, her lips formed into a slight pout. “Gemma and Suresh were inhaling each other. I honestly think if I hadn’t interrupted them, they would’ve had sex right then and there in the middle of the day, on your shared bed.” 
Alfie looked at her, confused. “That can’t be. Gemma and I…we were finally in a really good spot. And Suresh is with Arlo. How could they do this to me?” 
Alfie looked as if he might cry. With one finger Kat gently stroked his cheek, landing on his chin. She lifted his head and forced him to look at her. 
“You deserve the world, Alf.” 
She looked at him with a hungry desire, then kissed him hard. At first it was clumsy and sloppy as she caught him off guard, but soon he joined in. Their tongues greeting each other for the first time in weeks. Alfie didn’t care that this was wrong, that he was cheating. All he cared about was that someone in this moment wanted him. The clip ended when Gemma opened the terrace door and caught them. 
“So it was you!” Finn shouted. “This whole time you had me thinking it was Alfie who initiated the kiss but it was you the whole time.” 
“Are we disregarding that she also tried to hook up with Suresh?” Dana asked. 
“Especially after I told her that it would make me uncomfortable,” Gemma added, looking at Kat angrily. 
“You’ve got a lot of nerve, Finn! I only kissed Alfie after you kissed Arlo. And Gemma, I told you I was going to put him to a test and he passed, you should be thrilled.” 
“I didn’t ask you to put Suresh through a test, Kat,” Gemma hissed, tensing up in her seat. “You decided that all on your own.” 
“This is exactly the shit I’m talking about. We were coupled up when you inserted yourself in both scenarios.” Finn took a large swig of his beer. 
*TEXT PING* 
“Looks like you and Kat will need to sidebar on this convo later, we have a new question,” Suresh said. 
“On average, how often do men think about sex?” 
He glanced up at Gemma and smirked. She tried so hard not to respond, but the corners of her mouth deceived her as they curled up into a smile. She looked away and focused on the task at hand. 
“I feel like there’s not a number big enough,” Gemma laughed. 
“Yeah, it’s gotta be high,” Meera said. 
“Every fifteen minutes,” Dana suggested. The girls all laughed in unison, including Kat who seemed to be getting slightly more comfortable after her and Finn’s outburst. 
“Let’s say, 18 times a day. That’s at least once every waking hour,” Lulu whispered. 
*TEXT PING* 
“Every seven seconds, boys win!” Suresh said, squaring his shoulders as his eyes locked on Gemma. “And we already know which movie we’re watching. Let’s play ‘The Ex Files’.”
The screen showed Gemma holding the Casa Amor postcard in her hands, staring at it longingly. She hadn’t let go of it since they received it nearly three hours ago.
“Babe, you’re going to burn a hole through that picture,” Dana chuckled.
“He’s sleeping alone on the daybed,” Gemma said for the umpteenth time, looking at Dana with excitement. “Maybe he really meant what he said, about wanting us to try again.”
Dana nodded slowly, eyeing her friend warily. She wanted Gemma to be happy, of course, but this wasn’t a cut-and-dry situation. 
“Okay,” she said cautiously. “So, best case scenario is he comes back single. Do you think you’ll be ready to take him back?” 
Gemma looked back down at the postcard, a warmth spreading from her chest and throughout her entire body. Suresh was sleeping peacefully on his back, his chiseled body only partially covered by the duvet. One of his arms was bent behind his head, one leg poking out from the covers, nearly hanging off the side. She imagined herself back in those arms, lying next to his warm body again. 
Gemma opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She closed it and tried again. “If he comes back single…” She made a noise, like a groan and a sigh wrapped into one. Saying it out loud would make it real. She wouldn’t be able to pretend anymore. She wouldn’t be able to lie, to say she was fine when she really wasn’t, because someone else would know.
“Yes,” she managed to croak out, staring at the postcard. She couldn’t look at Dana as she spoke, opening her heart knowing she could potentially get hurt again and she wouldn’t be able to fake her way out of it. “Yes. If he comes back single, and still wants to make it work like he said, then I’m ready to give him a chance again.”
“Are you sure, Gem?” Dana pressed, placing her hand on Gemma’s knee. “Could you fully trust him again, truly?”
Gemma finally looked up at her, holding her gaze. “I already do,” she admitted. “I hate to admit it, but I do trust him again. He’s shown a different side lately, I really think he’s changed. And besides–” She nearly choked on the lump in her throat and took a deep breath. Her hands were shaking and she gripped the postcard tighter, memories flooding her mind. “I can’t not try, you know? It’s Suresh.”
The screen faded to black and the silence was deafening. Suresh looked over at Gemma, and for the second time today, the electric charge between them once again ignited a fire. 
“Gem–” 
“Not now, Suresh. Not  here.” Her eyes pleaded with him to let it go for now. She avoided Nicolas’ glare as she took a big gulp of her wine and continued looking straight ahead. She couldn’t talk about her feelings for him here, not in front of everyone. She’d take him aside after the challenge and speak to him privately. She couldn’t avoid it now. 
“Well at least they’re not all bad,” Dana muttered under her breath. 
Suresh kept glancing at Gemma, hoping she would look at him, but she continued to stare at the screen. He ran his large fingers through his hair as the next text came through. 
“Let’s get on with it then, I’ve got the next question,” Lulu said. “To the nearest hour, how long did the longest kiss without a break reportedly last for?”
“I’ve read this! It was fifty nine hours,” Meera said. 
“Without a break? There’s no way! How did they eat and sleep?” Kat chimed in. 
“No, trust me! I literally read this article before I got here,” Meera said. 
“Okay. Send it, Gabi,” Gemma said. 
*TEXT PING* 
“Girls win! The answer was fifty nine hours!” Gabi cheered. “Good on you Meera!” 
“Which one do you girls want? Gemma, should we go for ‘The Sure-shank Redemption’?” Dana asked. 
“I’d like to see that one,” Gabi chimed in. 
“I really want to see Alfie’s movie but I can’t tell which one he is,” Meera whined. 
“Then we can figure that out on our next win,” Gabi said. “We’re going with ‘The Sure-shank Redemption’.” 
Suresh came to life on the screen, slumped over a fruit bowl in the Casa Amor kitchen. He was rearranging them until he found the orange he was looking for. 
“Why the long face?” Eddie asked. 
Suresh sighed and looked around to see if anyone else was within earshot of them. When he deemed the coast clear he whispered, “I’ve just been having a really hard time here. I know you boys all said I should forget about Gemma, that she didn’t give me a response before I left and that that in and of itself is a response, but mate I miss her so much.” 
“What about Lulu? You’ve been chirpsing away all day with her.” 
“Lulu is great. She’s nice and all, but there is absolutely no spark. And the only person on my mind is Gemma.” He sighed, picking at the sticker on the orange. “I actually hate that I have to pretend to graft, right now.” 
“Why are you pretending to graft? Why don’t you just go back single and tell Gemma how you feel?” 
“Because what if it’s a scenario where one of us will get dumped if the other twists. I’m coupled with Arlo right now and I have no faith that she won’t twist. She knows Gemma and I kissed before Casa, so she’s gotta be fuming.” 
“Fair point.” 
“I just wish I didn’t have to hurt Lulu or string her along in the process.” 
He doesn’t want Lulu. Gemma stared at the now-black screen with renewed confusion. He’s only ever wanted me. 
“Well, at least now it makes sense why you dumped me this afternoon,” Lulu stated. 
“Lulu…” Suresh said nervously. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 
Gemma finally dared to look over at Suresh, and without saying anything they both instantly understood each other. There was still an undeniable spark between them and apparently neither one of them were ready to let it go. 
*TEXT PING* 
“Alright girls, here we go,” Meera said, breaking the silence. “What percentage of women fantasize about other men during sex with their partners?” 
A chorus of ‘I’ve done it’s’ started as most of the  girls admitted to having done it.
“So what are we thinking, then? I think about 45%. Is everyone happy with that?” Dana asked. 
“Yes! And I get my Alfie movie if we’re right, right?” Meera asked. 
“Yes, babe. You’ll just have to decide between the last two because it was unclear which one was his or Nic’s,” Gemma said. 
 *TEXT PING* 
“Girls win! The answer was 46%!” Meera beamed. “Dana, you smashed it!” She  looked at the screen, trying to decipher the title to figure out which of the remaining two movies belonged to Alfie. 
“It can’t be The Fast & The Furious because that’s probably a sex thing and that is definitely not Alfie.” She  winked at him. “We’re going to go with The Disaster Artist.” 
The screen showed Nicolas pacing back and forth on the rooftop while Pete and Johnny sat on the bench, watching him. 
“What’s the game plan boys?” Nicolas asked excitedly. 
“Game plan?” Johnny looked at Pete with a confused look. 
“Yeah, what are you on about, Nic?” Pete asked. 
“Come on! You can’t tell me that you two came in here with no game plan? We’ve had the opportunity to watch these girls for weeks and you guys are just squandering it away?” 
“I just don’t look at this as a game,” Pete said. “I like Arlo and I have a connection with her, so I’m going to explore that.” 
“Same for me,” said Johnny. “I like Dana and Gemma. But I don’t know either of them well enough to say who I have a better connection with.” 
“First off, you’re wasting your time on Dana. She’s been on Gabi’s ass since she turned up in the villa, which is weird if you ask me since Gemma is supposed to be her ‘bestie’,” he sneered. “I’d say focus on Kat, just play up that Finn is definitely cheating on her.” 
“Why Kat? She’s not really my type,” Johnny said. 
“You can’t have Gemma, she’s mine. I’ve had my sights set on her since she walked in the villa.” 
“So you like Gemma then?” Johnny asked. 
“What does it matter if I like her or not?” Nicolas laughed before continuing. “We just need someone desperate and lonely enough to convince that they should bring us back. I’ve been studying Suresh, I know his mannerisms. I’m just gonna copy the bloke and have her eating out of my hand.” 
“I don’t like this plan, mate. Gemma’s a great girl, she doesn’t deserve this,” Johnny tried. 
“I look at it as me doing her a favor. She’s damaged goods right now. First Suresh pies her off for Arlo, then Alfie kisses Kat. Who's going to come in now and want to deal with that? And besides, now she doesn’t have to go back to her shitty, cheating ex and she can be with a real man for once.” 
Gemma felt her skin burning, her jaw hurt from clenching her teeth so hard. She turned and looked at Nicolas with venom in her eyes and wished she could strike him with a blow so hard that it would send him straight back to Coventry. 
“Desperate and lonely?” she snarled. “Damaged goods?”
“Gemma…” Nicolas held up his hands palm-up, fighting to keep his voice as calm as possible. “This  is completely out of context, it’s bad editing. I didn’t say half of those things in that way, you have to believe me.” 
“FUCK. YOU. Nicolas. And if it wasn’t clear we’re fucking done. Don’t you dare try to come and talk to me after this.” 
“Gem-” 
“She said she’s fucking done mate,” Suresh barked, nearly getting up from his chair. “Get it through your thick head before I help you understand.” 
“This isn’t about you!” Nicolas snapped back. 
Suresh stood up from his chair abruptly, nearly knocking over the table, and glared at Nicolas. Alfie stood up quickly to block him. 
“It’s calm, it’s calm,” he said with both hands on Suresh’s shoulders, trying to get him to focus on him and sit back down. Gemma acted more on instinct than sense as she hurried over to the boys, pushing herself in between the two men. Her hands replaced Alfie’s on Suresh’s heaving chest. His nostrils were flared, his body rigid.
“Resh, look at me,” she said. His eyes flickered down to her, then returned to Nicolas who was standing behind Alfie, practically hiding. 
“He’s not worth it. Sit down, please,” she begged, and he looked back down at her. His eyes searched her face, brows creasing as he did. She pushed his chest softly, so he took a deep breath and nodded.
“Fine,” he said, ticking his jaw. “For you.”
He gave Nicolas another glare, but did as Gemma asked and sat down. As he watched her make her way back to the girls’ table, his hand twitched. He wanted so badly to just reach out and pull her back, to kiss her and hold her, to just have her back in his arms. 
 *TEXT PING* 
“Let’s just move on, it looks like this is our last one,” Dana said, then proceeded to read the text. “How long does the average female orgasm last?” 
“This will be embarrassing if we don’t get this one, girls,” Lulu said. 
“I don’t know, like ten seconds?” Meera said. 
“I don’t actually sit there and time my orgasms out,” Kat snorted. 
“It’s gotta be more than ten seconds, I think maybe fifteen,” Gabi suggested. 
“Okay, we’ll  go with fifteen.” Dana typed out and sent in their answer. 
 *TEXT PING* 
“Boys win!” Finn whooped. “The answer was twenty seconds.” He gave the girls a suggestive wink, then looked up at the titles on the screen. “I think we’re just going to pick this one at random and go with ‘The Wedding Planner’.” 
Meera eyed Alfie suspiciously. “Alf, you didn’t want to watch ‘There’s Something About Meera’?” 
“Have you seen these movies?” Alfie asked, shaking his head. “No, I’ll stay away from the drama, thank you very much.” 
Meera huffed as she crossed her arms and turned to watch the screen come to life with the next movie. 
Gabi sat on the roof terrace, hugging her knees and stifling her tears, when Nicolas walked in. 
“Gab, babe. Why are you so upset? Was it your chat with Gemma?” 
She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face and nodded. 
“But it’s not just my chat with her.  Everyone here looks at me like I’m some homewrecking slut. And I’m not! What I had with Suresh was real.” 
“I’m sure it was babe,” he said soothingly as he sat down next to her. “After all, he left her for you, right?” 
“Exactly!” Gabi exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air. “I didn’t even know about Gemma when we were together. He never mentioned her until the tailend of our relationship. And even then he never told me he cheated with me.” 
“It’s not right that he put you through that,” Nic said, placing a hand on her back, rubbing it softly. 
“No, it’s not! And we might not have been together as long as he and Gemma were, but I know he was absolutely crazy about me. He only had eyes for me the whole time we were together and I am tired of being made out to be some dirty little secret,” she scoffed. “What he and I had, you can’t fake that. If Suresh were here right now with the two of us in his face, I know he’d pick me over her and that’s what makes me so mad! Because if anything, she  was the other woman!” 
Nicolas hugged her close, stroking her hair as she continued. 
“She needed to propose to him to get him to commit to her. But I know for a fact he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.”  
“How do you know that for sure,” Nicolas asked, eyeing her skeptically.  
“Because I found a ring,” she said. “He was going to propose to me, not her. ME!” 
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apuff · 2 months
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@sagaofa-dying-star thanks for the tag!!! rewriting the post because it's long asf
 Do you have freckles?  everyone has a little freckles. but i dont have too many
 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?  i only drink southern style sweet tea bc we never have any good hot tea around
What was the last song you listened to?  MAMA APPARENTLY?? i was on that black parade grind i guess
Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?  stomach usually but sometimes i go for the recovery position
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Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?  yes
Do you prefer drawing or writing?  probably drawing but i like writing too
What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?  i have 6 blankets in my bed and it's not enough
What’s your favorite band/artist?  ahem. aheem. hehe. my chemical romance
When is your birthday?  am i not supposed to say this for internet safety-? anyways its in december
How tall are you?  5'2 is on my id but my family says im taller than that
What color are your eyes?  green 😏😏i have the rarest eye color 😏😏😏
Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?  two of my online friends one of my irl friends one of my mutuals and one person i don't even like but probably really needs it
Fears?  im afraid of people i love dying, being in trouble, being late, and tape measures.
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What’s your favorite color?  green BUT I LIKE ALL OF THEM
What’s your favorite season?  I LIKE ALL OF THEM
Want any tattoos? What of?  i kinda want some of those semi permanent ones that last for a few months of just random shit like band members and memes actually maybe i just want to draw on myself in sharpie
Want any piercings? Where?  i just want normal ear piercings :<
Who is the last person you texted?  my ex- camp roommate
Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?  yes me and my bestie have been friends for like two and a half years
What/who do you miss?  i miss having good breakfast at camp 😭😭 also i hate to say it but getting exercise. also going outside..
How was your day today?  pretty good
How much sleep did you get last night?  like eight or something
Do you believe in aliens?  y'all. the universe is REALLY big. there's gotta be some alien bacteria hanging out on SOME planet SOMEWHERE
When was the last time you cried? Why?  yesterday because of algebra 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️muhammad ibn musa al-khwarizmi when i FUCKING CATCH YOU ITS OVER
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What’s your favorite decade?  2020s- if i had to pick something else it would be 2000s
What are some seemingly childish things you like?  laughing at my reflection in spoons (i highly recommend doing this btw)
What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?  i like too many books to count and i have read hp and pjo too many times to count, but recently ive wanted to reread the outsiders so much i go to bed thinking about it and wake up thinking about it
How are you, really?  fine but every other time in my life i have thought i was fine i have been very mentally ill in retrospect so 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
Does it take you a long time to make decisions?  depends on the type of decision..
What are you looking forward to in the near future?  artfight being over
What are you looking forward to in the distant future?  moving out :v
If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?  i am going to the house of my online friends
Do you sleep with your door open or closed?  who sleeps with the door open
What’s your favorite flower?  cherry blossom or lily of the valley
Do you currently have a squish?  i don't know what the difference is between this and just loving your friend, so, idk?
Do you like your middle name?  yeah, i actually use it as my internet and gaming name
Do you prefer dogs or cats?  cats, i respect dogs but they have no concept of personal space
Do you have any phobias?  y'all i really don't like tape measures
Do you stay up late? i consider 11 30 to be late but some of my friends stay up all night sooo its subjective i guess
Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?  yes; sunny beach is better because where i live the water is always freezing so you need it to be hot or else it's just miserable
What’s your favorite cartoon?  maybe she-ra
Tag 5 of your favorite blogs i'm already tagging my moots later.,/,/
Do you have siblings? How many?  i have 6 siblings
Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?  MYSELF- i am lonely right now
Is there anyone you would die for?  why is this such an intense question 😭😭😭probably no i'm a bit of a coward
What do you need when you’re sad?  gerard way but i need him all the time so
Have you memorized your phone number?  no and it haunts me every day
Who’s someone you can trust with your life?  myself (no offense)
What does your last text say?  just had the most transcendent sandwich on the way home
i know this one is really long so no pressure to do all of it OR do it at all LMAO @the-mighty-q @karineverse @the-mighty-mittens @sea-creeture @thankyouforthev3n0m @hopelesshardrockfan @wannabescemo @starbird06
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sapphicjigsaw · 9 months
Note
the scary jokes..... arent jokes supposed to be funny not scary (interested in knowing what this is)
OOOOOOOOOOHHHOHHOHOOOO
The lesbianism beam is charging up.
Ok so The Scary Jokes is a band (1 transgender and a dream) who describes their sound as “indie bedroom synthpop” which means nothing because genres are fake and don’t mean anything BUT the music is very good. It’s kind of beep boopy and very gay and I really love how their voice sounds in the quite minimal production of the first 3 albums.
If you want to start with them I would recommend listening to BURN PYGMALION!!!!!! A Better Guide to Romance. Listening to albums front to back is my preferred way to listen generally but even if it’s not for you I’d highly recommend front to back because OF THE REALLY GOOD MUSICAL PACING. I will die for this album this album is my religion this album is the one album I will never stop preaching about. Its sounds fuckifn incredible and has songwriting designed to maximize the desire to be a lesbian werewolf and claw and bite into someone. It’s a narrative album about the relationship between Sylvia, an up and coming movie star, and Jeanine, a journalist who has been working to boost Sylvia’s career. They are both dealing with shit from past relationships and are insane in different ways (Jeanine is obsessed) and it all goes bad. The pov of the songs switches a lot and honestly it’s probably better if you just listen for the music and the feeling the first time through but you got me on my autism and it’s not slowing down. The tracks hop from slow and kind of angsty too teeth rottingly fluffy with a distinct feeling that everything is about to go wrong to a series of knife twists that leave me feral every time. There’s so few songs that communicate the ache, the need, the kind request to be seen and heard and the terrible hunger it hides, the tired anger, the feeling of spiraling as well as the tracks on this album.
I love the album so much and to pick favorites from it is genuinely hard. Sylvia’s just a dying is incredible, it sounds like falling through an anxiety void filled with glitter and the knife twisting lyrics being punctuated with “after all I’m just a friend” HERRREGGHGFGGGV IM CRAZY IM CRAZY. Pygmalion makes me want to tear into someone more than I already do and Starstruck is the ultimate kicking my feet and giggling I’m going to explode song. Admire the Architecture is short but it sounds so good and the lyrics are very focused on the narrative and it really draws you into the characters for the consecutive series of gut punches that is the back half of the album. No Leverage/No Pleasure oh my god oh my GOD, if you listen to nothing else listen to this PLEASE. THIS SONG IS THE HUNGER, IT IS SUCH INTENSE LOVE AND DESIRE THAT YOU ARE SO CONSUMED YOU CAN DO NOTHING BUT CONSUME. Crushed Out on Soda Beach makes me cry. It’s an apology, it’s defeat, it’s beautiful and it’s only a start but it is a start and whatever brought us here is gone. And then the floating away with Bets against the void. HHHHRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS GOOD. THE LESBAINS!!!!!!
There’s also 3 OTHER ALBUMS which are also VERY GOOD. April Fools is their most popular project (you may have heard the track Icicles from it) it is not narrative and not about a specific relationship but it’s a lot of SAPPHIC AND TRANSGENDER HARD TIMES. If you listen to it I would highly recommend the 2021 version simply because of the fuller sound and slight refinements. It is full of bangers with Blood from the Concrete, Catabolic Seed, and Night at the movies being my personal favorite. I’d highly recommend this album to anyone who likes Burn Pygmalion!!!!!! A Better Guide to Romance or people who listen to both Toby Fox and Mitski.
Bad at math is their first project and much more low key and personal. All of the songs are quite hit or miss, my personal favorites are Poison Ivy and Hold Yourself Tight. Retinal Bloom is their most recent project, it sounds good but the production kid of puts the lyrics in the background in a way I like less. It’s much more soundscape focused and does that well but it’s not my personal taste.
I have MORE INFORMATION if WANTED but I need to COLLAPSE AND SLEEP NOW GOOD NIGHT MWAH
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lesbicosmos · 2 years
Text
heartstopper episode 1 thoughts as i watch it yet again because no one can stop me
-the soundtrack of this show is my most listened to playlist on spotify rn i love it sm, and knowing want me by baby queen (the first song in the show) was written about jodie comer is the best thing ever
-THE FIRST HI I ACTUALLY CANNOT WITH THESE TWO AND THE ANIMATIONS?? IM
-b*n h*pe hate club.
-the blue and yellow symbolism starting all the way back in episode 1 with the school corridors being painted in that colour scheme with the alice-style murals. (the blue and yellow thing is something i'll talk about a lot, it's the media student in me)
-nick nelson human golden retriever
-i need to bring up the symbolism of nicks pen. the pen that explodes all over him is the same pen he used to draw that smiley face on charlie's hand and i think it's so subtle but represents how nick's feelings for charlie very quickly develop from "oh this kid i sit next to in form is so cool :)" to "OH FUCK IM IN LOVE WITH HIM" like his feelings literally explode
-elle i am in love with you please let me be your friend
-we all need a teacher like mr ajayi, i actually love him and can't wait for the him/mr farouk storyline in season 2 <333
-send the i hate you message charlie. send it. he deserves it.
-tori spring my beloved <333
-the way nick ends up being exactly what charlie describes as his dream guy <3
-lovesick is a top tier soundtrack song
-give isaac more lines in season 2 i love him and his books
-'im going to die' - me every pe lesson
-DOVER BEACH <333 (and baby queen in general)
-charlie's giggle when nick says well done to him, he's so in love already
-there is no osemanverse character i hate as much as ben hope (except carol last. it's close.)
-one thing i love about this show is it never villainises closeted people, it makes a point several times of saying charlie doesn't hate ben because he's closeted, it's because of the way he acts towards charlie and ignores him and treats him like shit. nicks never under pressure from anyone to come out and charlie tells him several times that he doesn't have to come out til he's sure he's ready. i just love this show so much.
-NICK I LOVE YOU
-OLIVIA COLMAN <333
-nick's smile at charlies text just warms my heart i love them so goddamn much i can't
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Eccentricity [Chapter 14: Love Keeps The Monsters From Our Door] [Series Finale]
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A/N: Thank you for your encouragement, enthusiasm, laughter, rants, screeches of anguish, and unapologetic thirsting for “sexy undead Italian man” Joseph Francis Mazzello. I hope you love this conclusion more than Baby Swan loves pineapple pizza. 💜
Series Summary: Potentially a better love story than Twilight?
Chapter Title Is A Lyric From: “Til I Die” by Parsonsfield. (The #1 song I associate with this fic!)
Chapter Warnings: Language.
Word Count: 7.7k.
Other Chapters (And All My Writing) Available: HERE
Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii @bramblesforbreakfast @maggieroseevans @culturefiendtrashqueen @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark @escabell @im-an-adult-ish @queenlover05 @someforeigntragedy @imtheinvisiblequeen @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhyee @deacyblues @tensecondvacation @brianssixpence @some-major-ishues @haileymorelikestupid @youngpastafanmug @simonedk @rhapsodyrecs​
Mercy
We have to stay in the Vladivostok palace until her transformation is complete, and I hate it.
The floors are cold and sterile and every clang of noise ricochets off them like a bullet. The earth outside is stripped bare and hibernal. There is no green to interrupt the bleakness of the sky, the cruel absence of color: no spruces or hemlocks or bigleaf maples, no evergreen forests, no verdant fields, only a grey that bleeds from the sky in sheets of hail and driving rain. This land is a stranger. So many of the faces, too, are strangers, although they try. Honora sits with me—her large dark eyes, like mirrors of mine, polished and wet with aching pity—and braids my hair. Morana invites me to bake homemade bread with her. Austin tries to make me smile. Cato visits me as much as he can, because he feels responsible; or maybe he would do it anyway, maybe lessening suffering is as instinctual to him as bloodshed is to so many of our kind. And when Cato is with me, I do feel a little better, like my story might belong to somebody else, like it’s a name I can’t quite remember, like it’s a transitory moment of déjà vu I can catch glimpses of but never touch. And yet, still, I send him away.  
I don’t want to be with Cato. It’s painful for him to be around me, I can see that. It’s painful for Rami, and for Ben, and for Joe, and for Lucy and Scarlett. It’s even painful for the Irish Wolfhounds that Cato found locked up for safekeeping in Larkin’s study; they skulk around the palace vigilantly but leave great swaths of uninterrupted space around me like open water. So I conjure up a mask of brave, hopeful acceptance and wear it everywhere I go.
Joe says very little, never leaves the girl he calls Baby Swan’s side, dabs her scorching skin with washcloths soaked in ice water and murmurs in sympathy when she screams through the unconsciousness, from beneath the ocean of fire we all know so well. He nods off sometimes, snatching minutes of sleep like fireflies in a jar, before jolting awake to make sure her heart is still beating. When Ben isn’t checking on them, he’s with Cato, helping to draw up plans for the future, reminiscing about the past with slick eyes and clinking midnight glasses of whiskey. Scarlett sprawls across the desk in what was once Larkin’s study and spends hours on the phone with Archer as she gazes up at the ceiling, telling him how to care for the farm animals and the garden, reassuring him that we’ll be home soon, whispering things to him that I try not to hear; and I know she wouldn’t want me to anyway. Lucy weeps delicate, ceaseless tears as she perches on the staircase landing and Rami entombs her in his arms, never having to ask what she needs from him. And I wander meaninglessly through the echoing, unfamiliar hallways like a moon without a planet.
I know what they all think about me, perhaps even Rami, for I keep it buried as deep as all skeletons should be: that I’m irrevocably kind, effortlessly forgiving. That I’m as incapable of bitterness as I am of aging. But they’re wrong. It’s a choice, and it always has been, ever since a late-November dusk in 1864 when madness eclipsed mercy. Every day I choose whether to surrender to the beckoning, malignant hatred that lurks in the back of my bedroom closet, in the dusty and ill-lit loft of the barn roped with cobwebs, in the twilight tree line of the western hemlocks crawling with shadows that whisper through fanged teeth. Every day I decide whether to become a monster. And it has never been harder to remember why I don’t.
My future is unimaginable. The nights are endless. I feel black, razored seeds of what I am horrified must be bitterness burrowing beneath my skin and taking root there. I am consumed by infected, fruitless questions that I can’t silence: Why Gwilym? Why Arthur? Why Eliza and Charlotte? Why is it always fire?
The first words that Gwilym ever spoke to me, as I unraveled from unconsciousness under a grove of sycamore trees with smoke still clinging to my unscarred skin, rattle around in my skull like windchimes beneath thunderous skies. His voice was colored with an accent I couldn’t place, and yet it sounded like home: You’re in a dark place right now. But you don’t have to stay there.
That might have been true once. That might have been true in the ruinous autumn of 1864. But now I can’t find my way out.
Seventy-three hours after our arrival in this barren corner of the world, Charlie Swan’s daughter  wakes up as a vampire. Her heart is perfectly still, her skin faultless, her senses sharp, her mind as impenetrable as ever; at least, that’s what Lucy says when she finds me. And Lucy tugs at my hand, wearing her first smile in days, insisting that I have to come meet the newest member of our coven, to welcome her. I don’t know how to tell Lucy that I’m afraid I don’t have it in me to love this girl, that I don’t have it in me to love anyone but ghosts. And yet—compliantly, yieldingly, expecting nothing but disappointment in the monster I have become—I follow her.
The door is already open to the Swan girl’s room; chattering, beaming vampires flood in and out like the tides. I step inside. And I see the way that Joe looks at her, the way that Ben does; and all those seeds that I had feared might be bitterness blossom into nothing but open air.
It’s Not A Fucking Wedding (A.K.A. 13.5 Months Later)
The ocean is a universe. Its arms are not ever-expanding, spiraling galaxies of suns and planets and nebulae and black holes, this is true; its belly is not a vacuum of inhospitable oblivion, its bones are not invisible strings of gravity, its language is not a silence older than starlight, older than eternity. But the ocean is a universe nonetheless, its borders tucked neatly around the seven continents, slumbering there until the next hurricane or tsunami or ice age comes conquering; and inevitably equilibrium is restored—like defibrillator paddles to a heart, like naloxone to an addict’s blood—and our two worlds can coexist side by side once again.  
The ocean’s arms are sighing waves, bubbling and brisk, grasping and retreating in the same breath. Its belly is swollen with life from immense blue whales down to swarming clouds of single-celled, sun-hungry phytoplankton. Its language is ancient whispers; not parched and blistering and brittle sounds like the desert’s but cool, serene, supple, engulfing. And I can hear them all, if I listen closely enough. I can hear the sentient whistling of orcas, the breaking of waves against rocks, the scrabbling of sand crabs beneath the earth, the gruff distant barks of sea lions, the rustling of evergreen pine needles in the breeze. And I understand now why it was always so easy for vampires to be introspective, to lapse into thoughtful, unhurried silences. I could imagine spending decades just sitting here with my knees tucked to my chest and my hair whipping in the brackish wind, watching the seasons roll by like a wheel.
Joe was coming back from the gravel parking lot. I turned to watch him: red U Chicago hoodie, messy dark auburn-ish hair, a pizza box clasped in his hands. The GrubHub delivery driver was returning to his car with the toothiest of grins.
“Buon appetito!” Joe announced, dramatically presenting me with the pizza box. It had become our post-finals tradition each semester: pizza at La Push beach, half-pepperoni, half-pineapple.
“Grazie, sexy undead Italian man. Your accent is getting so good!”
“I know, right?! I’m on a twelve-day Duolingo streak. I can’t let that little green owl dude down.”
“I’m impressed, I’ll admit it. I gotta brush up on my Welsh. Why’s the GrubHub driver so cheery?”
“I tipped him $500.”
I smiled, opening the box and lifting out a semi-warm slice of pineapple pizza. Elastic strands of mozzarella cheese stretched like rubber bands until they snapped. “Aww, really?”
Joe plopped down onto the cool, damp sand beside me. “No. I lied. We’re actually having a torrid love affair.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “How could you possibly have time for all that?” Between school, business ventures, family activities, and me, Joe was very rarely unoccupied. And he preferred it that way.
“I’m so glad you asked. I’m very speedy, if you recall. And that’s just one of the exclusive services I offer. I am a man of many talents. I make people’s wildest dreams come true. Who am I to deny the GrubHub delivery man the wonderland that is my spindly, annoying body?”  
“You are the fastest,” I said, winking.
“Oh shut up! I mean, uh, uhhh, silenzio!” He pointed his slice of pepperoni pizza at me reproachfully. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not the fastest at everything.”
“Whatever you say, mob guy.”
He lunged for me, pinned me down in the crumbling sand, both of us laughing wildly as the crusts of our pizza slices bounded off and were snatched up by diving, screeching seagulls. He growled with mock savagery, braced his hips against mine, kissed his way from the corner of my jaw to my lips. That oh-so-familiar commanding, craving ache for him came roaring to the surface; and now there was no bittersweet edge to it, no inescapable backdrop of lambent numbers ticking down from five or ten or fifteen years to zero. Now there was only the calm, unurgent promise of forever.
“Joe—!”
“You have besmirched my honor, Baby Swan. I am left with no recourse but to refresh your clearly flawed memory and prove you wrong.”
“Public indecency? That’s illegal, sir.”
“Okay, you gotta stop stealing my catchphrases. It’s extremely difficult for me to come up with new ones. I’m almost a hundred years old, you know.”
“Alright, I guess you’re not bad in bed for a basically-centenarian.”
He smiled down at me, his dark eyes alight, the wind tearing through his hair, one palm resting on my forehead, uncharacteristically quiet.
“What?” I asked, worried.
“Nothing,” he said. “I’m just really glad we’re a thing.”
“You better be. You’re kind of stuck with me now. You’ve stolen my virtue, you’ve made me fall in love with your entire demented family, you’ve forced your torturous immortality upon me. I’m not going anywhere. Unless you ever stop funding my pineapple pizza addiction, of course.”
Joe chuckled as he climbed off me and took my hand in his, pulling me upright. “It’s absolutely ridiculous, by the way. Your insistence on being a sort-of vegetarian. It’s embarrassing. You’re the wimpiest vampire ever. You’re a disgrace to the coven.”
“I eat animals!” I objected.
“Yeah, when you have to.” And Joe was right: I steered clear of flesh outside of the two or three times a week when I hunted. For environmental sustainability reasons, I mostly consumed deer or rabbits; although the very occasional shark was my guilty pleasure. Joe gnawed on his second slice of pizza and peered out into the overcast, dusky horizon, wiping crumbs from his stubbled chin with the back of his hand. “We only have one more of these left,” he said at last, a little sadly. “One more finals season at Calawah University. One more celebratory dinner at La Push.”
“We’ll just have to get used to a new view. Pizza by the Chicago River, maybe.”
Joe looked over at me, thoughtful again, smiling. He had received his acceptance letter to the University of Chicago three weeks ago. I got mine eight days later. “It won’t be hard for you to leave Forks?”
“It will be. Once upon a time I didn’t think that was possible, but I will miss Forks. And not just because of Charlie and Archer and Jessica and Angela and all the Lees. But it was hard to leave Phoenix, and I’m sure one day it will be hard to leave Chicago. Just because change is hard doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do.”
Joe nodded introspectively. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
“Don’t quote classic rock songs at me, mixtapes boy.”
“You love my mixtapes,” he teased, circling his left arm around my waist, pulling me in closer, touching his lips to my forehead. Mint and pine and starlight sank into my lungs like an anchor through the surf. “And that saying actually goes all the way back to Seneca, my dear.”
“Don’t tell me he’s still philosophizing in some cloudy corner of the world somewhere.”
“Not to my knowledge. Although that’s an intriguing thought. We need more famous vampires. Caligula would have made for very interesting conversation. Lincoln, Napoleon, Cleopatra, Shakespeare, Dante...I guess it’s possible that anyone is still around. Maybe we should turn Meat Loaf. You know, for the good of posterity.”
“Is it not enough that they’re already cursed with student debt and global warming?”
Joe cackled, took my face in his palms, kissed each of my cheeks one after the other, then nudged my nose with his. “You ready to go, Baby Swan? I suspect we’re expected to participate in some holiday festivities tonight.”
“I’m ready,” I agreed. We threw our leftover pizza to the seagulls, disposed of the grease-spotted cardboard box, and walked back to my 1999 Honda Accord with our pulseless hands intertwined.
The evergreen trees along Routh 110 fled by beneath a sky freckling with stars. Sharp winter air poured in through the open windows. And I could feel that it was cold, in the same way that I could feel the warmth on Forks’ rare sweltering days; but there was no discomfort that accompanied that knowledge. Pain only came when the sky was unincumbered by thick clouds churning in off the Pacific, and then it felt something like staring into the sun had as a human. Sunglasses helped, but the surest remedy was avoidance, was surrender. And what an inconsequential price to pay for forever.
“Wait,” I said, spying the mailbox that marked the start of the Lees’ driveway. “They still deliver mail on Christmas Eve, right?”
“Uh, I think so, why...?” And then he remembered. “Oh, yeah, let’s check!”
I pulled up beside the mailbox and Joe leaned out, returning to his seat with a mountain of Christmas cards and business correspondence and advertisements from Costco and Sephora. He sifted through them until he found a single white envelope from the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine. It was addressed to a Mr. Benjamin August Hardy. Joe held it up to show me as we drove down the driveway, the Lee house coming into view and ornamented with a frankly excessive amount of multicolored string lights and inflatable reindeer.
“Oh my god!” I squealed, drumming the steering wheel.
“You want to be the one to give it to him?”
“Are you serious?! Yeah, can I?”
Joe passed the envelope to me as I parked my geriatric Honda, which Archer had pledged to keep alive as long as physically possible. In return, Ben let him and Scarlett borrow the Aston Martin Vantage no less than once a week. I dashed out of the car, up the steps of the front porch, and into the house that bubbled over with the sounds of metallic kitchen clashes and frenetic voices and Wham!’s Last Christmas.
“Ben?!” I shouted.
“Hi, honey!” Mercy called from the living room, where she and Lucy were putting the final touches on Scarlett’s gown. Scarlett was playing the part of semi-willing victim, wearing gold heels and an impatient smirk and her hair out of the way in a milkmaid braid; her train of vivid red lace billowed across the hardwood floor. From the couch, Archer and Rami were playing Mario Kart on the big-screen tv and nibbling their way through a tray of homemade gingerbread cookies.
“Oh wow,” I said, clutching the envelope to my chest, mesmerized. I kept waiting for Scarlett to start looking like a normal person to me, and it never happened. Tonight, in the glow of the flameless candles and kaleidoscopic Christmas lights and draped in lace the color of pomegranate seeds, she was Persephone: a goddess of resurrection, a face that death himself could not pass by unscathed. “You’ve outdone yourself, Lucy. Seriously.”
“One day I’m going to get you out of those thrift shop sweaters,” Lucy threatened me, placing a pin in the fabric at Scarlett’s waist.
“Yeah, okay. Let me know when that shows up in one of your visions.”
“Bitch,” Lucy flung back, snickering, knowing how improbable that was. I still appeared in her visions extremely infrequently, and then only when I happened to be standing next to whoever the premonition was actually about.
“Language, dear,” Mercy tutted, inspecting the hem of Scarlett’s gown.
Joe arrived beside me, his arms still full of mail. “ScarJo, I almost didn’t recognize you! Why do you have, like, no cleavage or fishnets or thigh slits?”
“Why do you have like no eyelashes?” Scarlett replied. “See, I can ask unnecessary and invasive questions too.”
Joe frowned, wounded. “What’s wrong with my eyelashes?”
“Lucy, darling, I think it’s just a tad uneven on this side,” Mercy said, showing her. “Maybe by half an inch...?”
“No, seriously, what’s wrong with my eyelashes?!”
Mercy replied distractedly: “Nothing, honey, you’re perfect just the way you are.”
“Mom!” Joe groaned.
“It really is gorgeous,” Mercy marveled as Lucy flitted around her to investigate the hem situation. “And so Christmasy. So perfect for the season. Scarlett, dear, you were right after all, and I’m so sorry for doubting you. I’d just never heard of a red wedding dress before.”
“Mom, it’s not a fucking wedding!” Scarlett exclaimed, for probably the thirtieth time since Thanksgiving. “It’s a nonbinding, informal celebration of an egalitarian romantic partnership. Will somebody please inform this woman that it’s not a wedding?!”
“Yes, yes, of course, whatever you want, sweetheart,” Mercy conceded dreamily.
Joe pointed to Archer. “Isn’t he supposed to not see the dress until the day of or something?”
“What a great question!” Archer replied, still deeply invested in Mario Kart. “You see, that would be the case if this was a wedding. However, I’ve been informed in no uncertain terms that it is most definitely not.”
Scarlett grinned triumphantly at Joe. “There you have it.”
She might snap petulantly, and she might complain, but Scarlett wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t want to; we were all intimately familiar with the futility of trying to force Scarlett into anything. The not-wedding, as improbable as it seemed, had been her idea from the start. And she wasn’t doing it for herself. She wasn’t even doing it for Archer. Scarlett was doing it for her mother.
The first six months had been hell for Mercy. She didn’t resent me, as I had feared she might; Mercy made that clear, and Rami confirmed it. But she was gutted. She wouldn’t speak of Gwil, wouldn’t listen to us talk about him, locked every photograph of him away in dark drawers, wandered around with a remote, uncanny, unseeing smile until she walked straight into walls; and then she would blink inanely up at them, as if they had dropped out of the sky rather than been built by her own hands. She baked hundreds of cakes and almost never slept. She told us she was fine every time we asked, which was more or less constantly. But on the very rare occasions when she was left alone, Mercy would unfailingly end up in the field behind the Lee house, gazing out into the forest of western hemlock trees with tears snaking silently down her cheeks, the muted light of the cloud-covered setting sun flickering red and furious on her face like wildfire.
And then one afternoon, a package had arrived from Arviat, Canada, where Cato and the rest of the surviving Draghi had relocated shortly after the rebellion at Vladivostok. It was five feet tall and another three wide, and what we found after carefully peeling away all those layers of foam padding and packing tape was a portrait of Gwilym so skillfully painted that it could have been mistaken for a photograph. Mercy had stared at it for a long time—ignoring Lucy’s attempts to guide her away, deaf to any of our concerns—until she at last picked up the portrait herself and said, quite evenly: “I think we should hang it in the living room, don’t you?”
Things had been better since then—very, very gradually, and yet unmistakably—and Gwil’s portrait remained mounted above the living room couch like a watchman, his eyes sparkling and blue, his faint smile stoic and fond and omniscient. But even in the wake of Mercy’s continued improvement, none of us kids were about to risk another agonizingly despondent Christmas. So the solution was obvious. We would keep Mercy preoccupied with what thrilled her more than absolutely anything else: the pseudo-weddings of her children. Rami and Lucy had already secretly volunteered to go next year...and after that, who knew? And there was one other thing that was making Mercy’s burden a little lighter these days.
Charlie sauntered into the living room, wearing an apron covered in cartwheeling Santas and wiping white dust like snow—powdered sugar? flour? baking soda?—from his ungainly hands. He was palpably proud. “The sugar cookies are officially in the oven. And I managed to fit them all on one baking sheet, isn’t that great?! Cuts down on dishes!”
“Why, yes, I suppose it does!” Mercy said, alarm dawning in her eyes. Had my beloved father placed the globs of dough too close together? Would we end up with one hideous, giant monster-cookie? Only time would tell. Providentially, Archer and Joe could be counted on to eat just about anything.
Joe sniffed the air, his forehead crinkling. “What’s burning?”
“Nothing should be burning,” Mercy replied, almost defensive, forever protective of Charlie and all of his profound, incurably human imperfections. Sometimes I thought that she preferred him that way, that he was a link to a simpler world in the same way I had once been, that he was a puddle of memory she could drop into, that maybe he wasn’t so unlike her first husband Arthur. “Not yet, anyway. The cookies need at least ten to twelve minutes at 350.”
“Wait, 350?!” Charlie exclaimed, horrorstruck. “I thought you said 450!”
“Oh, this is tragic,” Scarlett said.  
“I can fix it!” Mercy trilled buoyantly, breezing off to the kitchen as Charlie followed after her with a fountain of apologies. She shushed them away affectionately, patting his chest with her soft plump hands, chuckling about how luckily they had fire extinguishers stowed away in almost every closet just in case. And there were other reasons for that besides Charlie’s perilous baking attempts, but he didn’t know them. Now the record player was belting out Queen’s Thank God It’s Christmas.  
Archer lost another round in Mario Kart and exhaled a great, mournful sigh. “Hey, Baby Swanpire, can you do something about this guy?” He nodded to Rami. “This is criminal. It’s nowhere near a fair fight. He knows every freaking time I’m about to toss a banana peel.”
Rami smirked guiltily up at me from the couch, not bothering to deny it.
“Do you mind?” I asked him.
“Not at all,” Rami replied. “I want to show this loser I can beat him even without the benefit of mega-cool extrasensory superpowers.”
“Rude!” Archer cried.
“So rude,” Scarlett agreed, smiling.
“Okay, here we go.” I sat down beside Rami, still holding Ben’s envelope in my right hand, and laid my left against Rami’s cheek. And I felt a fistful of numbness—like instant peace, like milk-white Novocain—pass from my skin into his, rolling into his skull, deadening whatever telepathic livewires had been ignited there in the August of 1916. The effect would last anywhere from thirty minutes to a few hours; and it worked on every vampire I’d met so far.
“Whoa, trippy,” Rami murmured. “It’s still weird, every single time.” He peered drowsily around the room. “It’s...so...quiet?! You guys really live like this? No one is constantly bombarding you with sexual fantasies or romantic pining or depressive inner monologues? How do you function?! Now I’m alone with my own thoughts, that’s actually worse!”
“Hurry up and beat him while he’s all freaked out and vulnerable,” Scarlett told Archer.
Archer laughed, picking up his Nintendo 64 controller, radiant with the promise of vengeance. “Yes ma’am.”
“Any good mail?” Lucy asked Joe.
“Yeah. Coupons and a ton of Christmas cards from random people. The vet sent us one with alpacas on it, so that’s cute. Oh, and here’s one from our favorite Canadians.”
Joe held up the card so we could all see. The picture on the front showed Cato and Honora sitting on a large velvet, forest green couch with a hulking Christmas tree illuminated in the background. The others were arranged around them: Austin, Max, Ksenia, Charity, Araminta, Akari, Morana, Phelan, Aruna, Adair, Zora, Sahel, and a few new faces I couldn’t name yet. They were all wearing matching turtleneck sweaters. And every single one of them was smiling.
Joe cleared his throat theatrically and read the text on the inside of the card:
“Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
(Oh, and Scarlett, congratulations on your not-marriage.)
- Cato Douglass Freeman”
“That bastard,” Scarlett muttered.
Rami offered me his controller. He had just slipped on a banana peel and rocketed off a cliff. “You want a turn?”
“No, thanks though. I have to talk to Ben. Is he around?”
Rami shrugged ruefully. “I would help, but my brain is temporarily broken.”
Scarlett rolled her eyes, taking a gingerbread cookie from the tray and biting into it as Lucy batted crumbs from the red lace dress, exasperated. “I think he’s out in the hot tub.”
“Cool. I shall return.”
Joe took my spot on the couch as I departed, shoveling cookies into his mouth, seizing Rami’s controller and kicking his feet up on the coffee table.
I opened the door to the back porch, and frigid December air rushed in like an uninvited guest. The field was coated with a thin layer of snow, the animals safe and warm in the barn, the garden slumbering. And in the spring and summer, when blossoms of a dozen different varieties came open beneath the drizzling grey skies, Mercy’s calla lilies didn’t bother my allergies at all. Nothing did anymore. Ben was indeed in the hot tub, puffing on his vape pen, wearing only a beanie hat and swim trunks.
“What flavor is that cartridge?” I asked as I approached. “Gummy bear?”
“Close. Strawberry doughnut.”
“Ohhhh, yum!” Ben passed me the vape pen, and I took a drag as I kicked off my boots and sat near him on the rim of the hot tub, slipping my bare feet beneath the steaming, roiling water. Then I handed his vape pen back. “So. Guess what I have for you.”
“Uh.” He glanced at the envelope. “Jury duty.”
“Better.”
“Someone I hate has jury duty.”
I flipped the envelope around so he could see the University of Chicago logo on the front.
“Oh god,” Ben moaned.
“Don’t you want to see what it says?”
“Not really,” he admitted, grimacing.
“Come on, Ben. Open it.”
“Nah.”
“Why not?!”
Ben sighed. “Look, if I open it and it’s bad news, it’s gonna make Christmas weird. Rami will know. They’ll all know. They’ll all feel bad for me and it’ll be pathetic and depressing and awkward. You can look if you want to, just don’t tell anyone else yet.”
“It’s not going to be bad news,” I said, tugging at the floppy top of his beanie hat. He swatted my hand away, but he was smiling grudgingly.
“You have positively no way of knowing that. Unless Lucy’s had a vision I’m unaware of.”
“She hasn’t. You know she never sees anything important.”
“She saw you coming,” Ben countered.
“She saw human-me and Joe in love and gobbling down pretzels at a Cubs game. So I’d say there were at least a few minor details missing.”
“There’s no way I got in,” Ben said, his green eyes slick and fearful and now fixed on the envelope. “We can’t all be geniuses like you.”
“That’s an unfair accusation. I’m far from genius. I’m just obsessed with the ocean.” I’d written my senior thesis on the feeding habits of Pacific angelsharks, and my advisor was still trying to figure out how I, an amateur scuba diver at best, had managed to get so many quality photographs with my underwater camera. The secret, of course, was superhuman agility and not needing to breathe.
“I fucking hate calculus. The MCAT wrecked me. I got a 517.”
“And their median score is a 519, so I’d say you still have a fighting chance. Plus you have like eight million volunteer hours.” Ben had spent the vast majority of the past year either in class or at the hospital. The psychiatrist-in-chief, Dr. Siegel, had been more than happy to take one of Gwil’s foster children under her wing. Every human in Forks except Archer believed that Dr. Gwilym Lee had drowned in a tragic boating accident while he and Mercy were on vacation in Southern California, and that his body had never been recovered. The town had held a wonderful remembrance ceremony and dedicated a free clinic at the hospital in his honor. “Now open it.”
“You do it,” Ben relented finally. “My hands are wet. Go ahead, open it up and tell me what it says. And then kindly euthanize me to end my immortal shame.”
“That wouldn’t work,” I pointed out, tearing open the envelope. I pulled out the tri-folded piece of paper inside, flattened it against my thighs, and read the typed black text.
“...Well?” Ben pressed, vaping frantically.
I looked up and smiled at him.
“No way,” he whispered.
“I hope you like pretzels and bear-themed baseball teams, grandpa.”
And for a second, I thought he might bolt up out of the hot tub, hooting victoriously, splashing water all over the back porch as he danced around bellowing that he’d gotten into one of the best medical schools in the world, that he would be following me and Joe to Chicago. But that wasn’t Ben. Instead, a slow smile rippled across his face: it was small, but perfectly genuine. Pure, even.
“Goddamn,” he said, watching me. Venom doesn’t just resurrect or ruin; it forms a bond that is simultaneously intangible and yet immense. It’s an evolutionary adaptation, a way to facilitate stability and the building of covens in an often violent and ruleless world. And now that he had turned me, Ben had family here in Forks in more ways than one.
“Gwil would be so proud of you, Ben.”
“I hope so. I really do.”
The back door of the house opened, and Joe stepped outside. He studied Ben for a moment, and that was all it took for him to know. “Benny!” he shouted, elated.
“I know, I know. Fortunately, I look amazing in red. Thanks, supermodel genes.”
“This is going to be so fun!” Joe said, sprinting over to wrap Ben—who was characteristically lukewarm on this whole physical displays of affection business—in a hug from just outside the hot tub. “We’re going to go furniture shopping, and eat deep-dish pizza, and find apartments right next to each other, and mail home Chicago-themed care packages, and get you hooked up with some gorgeous Italian woman...or whatever you like, I guess I shouldn’t assume. Women. Men. Gang members. Marine mammals. Jessicas. Whatever. There are options.”
Ben laughed as he playfully shoved Joe away. “Sounds like a plan, pagliaccio.”
“Oh my god, stop learning Italian without me! You realize you have to tell Mom now.”
“I will,” Ben agreed, with some trepidation. “I’ll wait until after Christmas.”
“It’ll be hard for her,” I said. “But she knows it’s what you want. She knows it’s what’s best for you. So she’ll get through it. I think it would be worse for her if you didn’t get in, if she had to see you unhappy.”
Ben nodded, exhaling strawberry-doughnut-flavored vapor, gazing up at the stars, Orion and Auriga and Lynx and Perseus reflected in his thoughtful jade eyes. “She’ll still have Rami and Lucy and Scarlett here with her. And Archer. And Charlie.”
“Especially Charlie,” Joe said, grinning.
Mercy would have to leave Forks eventually, of course. The Lees had already been here for nearly four years; they could stay another ten, perhaps fifteen at the absolute maximum. And there had been a time when ten or fifteen years seemed like quite a while to me, but now it felt like I could doze off one afternoon and wake up on the other side of it, like swimming a lap in the sun-drenched public pool back in Phoenix. We would find a new home somewhere after Joe and I finished our PhDs, after Ben finished medical school, maybe Vancouver or Buffalo or Amsterdam or Edinburgh or Dublin or Reykjavik. Wherever we went, I hoped it wouldn’t be far from the sea. But Mercy couldn’t bear to leave Forks yet. It was the last home she had shared with Gwil, the last house they would ever build together, and leaving it would make his loss all the more irrevocable. She would be ready to leave someday, but not today.
In the meantime, there would still be visits for breaks and holidays. Scarlett and Archer had the shop to keep them busy, a brand new eight-car garage that held a virtual monopoly on both the Forks and Quileute communities. Lucy had opened a bohemian-style clothing boutique downtown, which confounded most of the locals but attracted more adventurous customers from as far away as Seattle. Rami was interning for a local immigration lawyer and entertaining the possibility of applying to U Chicago’s law school in another few years. And Mercy had the farm; and she had Charlie. He had asked her for cooking lessons to try to help rouse her a few months after Gwil’s death, and it had grown from there. If it wasn’t romantic just yet, I believed it would be soon. And there were moments when I thought my father might have figured something out, when his eyes narrowed and lingered on me just a little too long, when his brow knitted into suspicious, searching lines, when the hairs rose on the back of his neck and some innate insight whispered that we weren’t like him and never could be again. But then he would chuckle, shake his head, and say: “You’ve gotten weird, my gorgeous, brilliant progeny. But Forks looks pretty good on you.”
“Can I talk to you upstairs?” Joe asked me suddenly; and did I see restless nerves flicker in his dark eyes? I thought I did.
“Sure,” I replied, climbing down from the hot tub. “Ben, are you coming inside? My dad is trying to bake Christmas cookies and failing miserably. It’s pretty hilarious. Not that you should be the one to critique other people’s kitchen-related accidents.”
“I do enjoy your company a lot more now that I don’t want to murder you and slurp you down like a Chick-fil-A milkshake,” Ben said. “Yeah, give me a few minutes and I’ll be there.” And as Joe and I headed into the house, I saw Ben pick up the acceptance letter that I’d left on the rim of the hot tub and read it for himself with incredulous eyes, grappling with the irrefutable fact that it was his name on the opening line, that he had somewhere along the way become the sort of man who dedicated his immortality to saving lives rather than ending them.
In the living room, Scarlett was back in her yoga pants and absolutely brutalizing Archer in Mario Kart. Rami and Lucy were entwined together on the loveseat, murmuring, giggling, feeding each other pieces of gingerbread cookies. In the kitchen, Charlie was leading Mercy in a clumsy waltz to Meat Loaf’s I’d Do Anything For Love, and each time he fumbled his steps or mortifyingly trod on her feet she would cry out in a peal of laughter brighter than the sun she had learned to live without. Joe spirited me up the staircase, into his bedroom—which, honestly, was more like our bedroom now, in the same way that my room in Charlie’s house had become Joe’s as well—and closed the door.
“You’re in luck,” he said. “Your dad totally ruined our song. Now I can’t hear it without thinking about some moustached guy in plaid trying to seduce my mom.”
“It’s the best Christmas gift I could ever ask for. Meat Loaf is vanquished. Oh, just so you’re aware, Renee and Paul are getting an Airbnb and coming up for New Years.”
“Cool. Do they still think I have a super embarrassing sunlight allergy and will break into hives and asphyxiate and that’s why we can’t visit them in Florida?”
“Yup.”
“Spectacular. Also, can you please tell me what’s wrong with my eyelashes?”
“They’re just a little sparse, amore. But I still like you.”
“Well, I am only moderately attractive, you know.” Then Joe steeled himself, taking a deep breath. Uh oh. He was definitely nervous. I still couldn’t believe I had the power to make him that way, but here we were. “So I get that we’re doing presents with the whole family tomorrow morning, and you do have some under the tree, so don’t worry about that. But there’s one I wanted to give to you alone. You know. With just us. Without an audience. Or whatever.”
“...Okay...?” A secret gift? A naughty gift? “I hope it’s a new vibrator.”
“Shut up,” Joe begged, laughing. “Here.” He reached into the drawer of his nightstand—our nightstand—and produced a small blue box topped with a turquoise bow. It wasn’t a ring, I was sure of that; I didn’t feel especially attached to the idea of marriage, and neither did Joe to my knowledge. How could rings or papers seal commitment when you already had eternity? I was right: the mysterious present was not a ring. When I removed the lid and emptied the box into my palm, what appeared there was a small plastic airplane.
“What is this?” I asked, amused but puzzled.
“Are you not college educated? It’s a plane.”
“Well, yeah, I can see that. But it’s also like two inches long.” I scrutinized the plane. “Are you magically transforming me into a tiny, tiny, little plastic person? Is that my gift? Because I actually got you something good.” And I really did: there was a collection of vintage Chicago Cubs photographs from the 1910s and 20s downstairs under the Christmas tree, packaged in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer wrapping paper.
“We’re going on a trip,” Joe said, grinning. “The day after Christmas. It’s just a short trip, nothing huge, don’t get too excited, we’re not going to Mt. Everest or Antarctica or anything. I think you’ll still like it. But I don’t want you to know where we’re going until we’re there.”
“How will that work? Considering the tickets and signage and pilot announcements and obnoxiously noisy other passengers and all.”
“ScarJo’s going to fly us.”
“Really?!” We were taking the jet. We almost never used the jet. “What’s in it for Scarlett?”
“She found out that Archer’s never had In-N-Out Burger before and is very much looking forward to initiating him into the cult of deliciousness.”
“Oh nice. I could go for a vanilla milkshake myself, now that Ben mentioned them.”  
“Obviously I’m gonna buy you all the milkshakes and animal-style fries you want. Bankrupt me, bitch. But we have to get one other thing taken care of first.”
“So it’s somewhere they have In-N-Out Burger...” I pondered aloud. California? Texas? Las Vegas? I felt a brief but unambiguous pang of homesickness for Phoenix. But there was nothing there for me anymore.
“Stop,” Joe pleaded. “I’m sorry. I’ve already said too much. Please forget that. Get a traumatic brain injury or oxygen deprivation or something.”
“I hate to disappoint you, but I’m rather indestructible at the moment.”
He smiled wistfully. “I wouldn’t want you to be any other way.”
There was laughter downstairs in the living room. I could detect the aroma of a fresh batch of sugar cookies baking in the kitchen, mingling with the cold night air and pine trees and peppermint candy canes. I loved Christmas. The entire world smelled like Joe. The U Chicago décor, classic rock posters, and Italian flag were now interspersed with National Geographic pages and photos of the two of us together. The Official Whatever You Want Pass hung in a small, square picture frame on the wall above Joe’s bed. Our bed.
“How real is it, Joe?” I asked quietly. I climbed onto my tiptoes, linking my hands around the back of his neck with the tiny plane still tucked between my fingers. “Seriously. The wishes thing.”
“The world may never know. Akari never met me as a human, so she wouldn’t be able to say. But if I had to place a bet...” He shrugged, grinning craftily. “Kinda real. Kinda not real. Just like vampires, I guess.”
“I am alarmingly glad that you’re real, mob guy,” I said, abruptly somber. “I never thought I’d meet someone who saw me as remarkable, who could make me see myself that way. And it’s miraculous. And it’s terrifying too, honestly. Being a thing with you. Falling for someone you could have for centuries and lose in a second.”
“It’s the scariest thing there is,” Joe concurred, taking my hand to lead me back downstairs.
Joseph
Scarlett looks like a goddess, and she knows it. But she’s not one of those magnanimous, fragile, harp-plucking, pastel-colored goddesses. She’s ferocity and wildness and crimson like blood, and that’s exactly why Archer loves her. And as they stand in front of the Christmas tree with their hands clasped together—ivory on bronze, snow on sun—with matching sprigs of holly in Scarlett’s hair and pinned to the jacket of Archer’s suit, reciting truths but no promises, I can’t help but watch the other faces in the room: Rami, Lucy, Ben, Charlie, Mom with her beaming smile and shining eyes, the woman I met sixteen months ago and now can’t fathom life without. And it occurs to me for the first time that love, in its cleanest form, isn’t something that changes people as much as it allows them to become who they truly are.
On the evening of December 26th, as soon as the sun dips beneath the western horizon, we board the jet in the Forks Airport hangar. It’s much easier for Scarlett to fly at night; otherwise she has to wear two or three pairs of sunglasses on top of each other, and even then it’s still painful, it still feels like blinding needles burrowing into the jelly of her retinas. That’s not a wrench in my plans or anything. It needs to be night where we’re going, too.
Vampire hyper-acuity notwithstanding, FAA regulations require Scarlett to have a copilot, so Archer joins her in the flight deck with his newly-minted license and spends most of the journey flipping through the latest issue of Motor Trend. As we begin our descent, he peeks back at us and teases: “It’ll be your turn eventually, guys. Scarlett and I did our time. Rami and Lucy can go next year. And after that...unless Ben happens to find someone worthy of a not-wedding...” He wiggles his black eyebrows.
“Bring it on,” I reply casually. “Fake wedding are my jam. It’ll be ocean themed. Or Roaring ‘20s themed. And we’ll all do the Cha-Cha Slide in the living room and shame Ben as a bonding activity.”
“Mercy can set up a mashed potatoes bar,” Baby Swan adds.
“Yeah. With pineapple.”
“No. Not on potatoes.”
“Yes on potatoes.”
“Over my dead body.”
“Too late,” I tell her, touching my lips to the knuckles of her cool, steady hand.
We touch down at a small noncommercial airport just outside the city, and Scarlett and Archer stay back to secure the plane as Baby Swan follows me outside. And she realizes where we are as soon as the wind hits her, as soon as her eyes soak up the sand and cacti and cloudless night sky like rain swallowed up by parched earth.
“Phoenix,” she whispers, smiling like a child.
“But wait, there’s more!” I announce in my best Billy Mays voice. I take the little glass bottle from my pocket, walk across the runway to the naked desert, crouch down when I find a suitable spot, and fill the bottle with dry, sandy earth that crumbles in my palms. Then I seal the bottle with a tiny cork and bring it back to give it to her.
“I know what it’s like to have to leave home,” I say. “You’ve had to say goodbye to Phoenix, and soon you’ll have to say goodbye to Forks, and next will be Chicago, on and on forever. You’ll always be leaving the places you learn to call home. Every five or ten or fifteen years, we start over again. Like a snake shedding its skin, like a hermit crab swapping shells. Like the water that travels from rain to seawater to mist and then back again. But now you can always have a little piece of home with you, and maybe that will make it easier.”
She takes the glass bottle and shakes her head in disbelief, in wonder. Because this is exactly what she wanted, what she needed, even if she didn’t know it yet. “Joe...how did you...?”
“What’d I tell ya? I’m a talented guy. Now you have to dance with me.”
She laughs. “Oh no. Hard pass. I don’t dance.”
“When we’re alone in my bedroom you do. So just pretend we’re alone now. In, like, a really really spacious, sandy bedroom. With probably some lizards.”
“Fine. But only because I’m willing to degrade myself for milkshakes.”
She slides the glass bottle of Arizona earth into her pocket and takes my hands. She’s still a pretty terrible dancer, honestly. She hasn’t lost that. And I love that about her. I love damn near everything about her. And it took me a long time to figure out what exactly her subtle yet peerless cocktail of fragrance is, because it wasn’t somewhere I’d ever been. The scent that drifts from her pores—the scent that now lives in my bedsheets like a shadow or a ghost—is sunlight and heat and clarity and resilience and wisdom older than the pyramids. Her scent is the desert.
Now she’s mischievous, her eyes gleaming with the reflections of the Milky Way and the full moon and the stars that are dead and yet eternal, just like us. “So what, you think you’re Vampire Boyfriend Of The Year material now or what? Some dirt and In-N-Out Burger? That’s the height of your game? Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my perpetual existence? I totally should have pursued that polyamorous triad with Scarlett and Archer when I had the chance—”
“Yeah,” I say, very softly, smiling, tilting up her chin to kiss her beneath the universe and all its eccentricities. “I love you too.”
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nakedmossy · 4 years
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Depth Over Distance - Part One [Rudy x Reader]
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[A/N: I haven’t found a hometown Rudy fic yet soooo I wrote one. I have no idea where this story is going to go and I’m honestly finding it hard to get out of writing JJ and get into writing Rudy, but here we go anyways. I wanted to write something where the reader and Rudy were hometown friends before he moved to LA, and to explore the idea of how that would change/what it would look like when he comes back. Get ready for a S L O W. B U R N. my dudes. Peace and love, Mossy x]
The sky was grey and the air was wet - it had been raining for 4 days straight. You sat in your car with the heat cranked, your window down slightly so that the humidity didn’t fog up your mirrors. Living on the Alaskan coast was beautiful most of the time but horrible some of the time, especially when you had to waste gas just keeping warm and dry at 6pm in the beginning of ‘Summer’. 
You had never lived anywhere else aside from the summer you spent in Vancouver with your cousin when you were 19. Now, at 23, you were working full time at the local bookshop that was an 8 minute drive from your house in the winter and a 20 minute walk/skate in the summer. Your car was parked street side, waiting for your friend Lizzy to finish her shift at the cafe. The smell of the rain and the Ben Howard song on the radio made you nostalgic about the times you and your friends from high school had spent hours skating down these streets, beers in your backpacks, no helmets, dirty shoes and clothes, no pressure, no responsibilities, no cell service...no worries. 
Since graduation a lot of your friends had moved out of town, either to Anchorage or down to Washington, or further south. Your best friend Lizzy had stayed close to home, helping run her families business and working part time at the cafe. You had stayed local too...your dad owned a fishing guide business and your mom was an admin assistant for the MD in town, but neither made enough to cover all the medical bills you had racked up over the last few years. You figured once the debt was paid off you might leave...but you had no idea where you would go. 
You missed all of your friends, but you missed the boys the most, aside from Lizzy you didn't have a lot of female friends, and your boys had been like brothers to you. You spoke to most of them every few weeks on FaceTime, except Rudy. He had gone to LA for awhile and had kept in touch loosely, but after the first few months he started to drift. 
You felt the loss the hardest for Rudy. He had been your closest friend the longest, you had spent nearly every day of every summer together since you were 9, and every school year you worked the same part time job at the seafood restaurant on the water. Now, the last you heard, he was coming back for the summer to ‘reconnect’. You had low expectations and tried not to let yourself get excited, but truthfully, you wanted him to spend some time at home and be around his own kind again - he had always been a homebody and you were worried that being gone for 4 years would go to his head or change him.
Lizzy tapped on the glass, causing you to blink out of your reverie and smile at her. You rolled the window down and let her reach in and open the door from the inside (the handle had been broken since high school). She threw her backpack and skateboard in the back seat, climbing in and closing her door.
“Ugh.” She grunted as her teeth chattered and she rubbed her bare legs. 
“You know its only May, you shouldn’t even be wearing shorts yet. The snow just melted.”
Lizzy glared at you playfully and put her hand out to do your handshake. You did it, then put the car in drive and started slowly down the street, windshield wipers moving rhythmically.
“How was the shift?” You asked as you checked your mirrors and wiped some humidity off the rear view. 
“Same old” Lizzy leaned back in her seat and pulled the visor mirror down to fix her hair. “That old man Collins from the cannery keeps coming in and harassing me.”
“Jack? The one with the eye patch?” 
Lizzy nodded dramatically as she held the bobby pins in her mouth and started to twist her straight black hair off her face. 
“That guy-“ She finished placing the final pin and slammed the visor closed “-Is an absolute creep.”
You snorted a sarcastic laugh and rolled your eyes.
“He’s like...70. And widowed. Don’t be rude.”
“I’m not being rude. Im just...asserting my boundaries.”
“You literally have a 3 foot counter between you at minimum, at all times.” You looked over at her and raised your eyebrows.
“Whatever. All I’m saying is we need hotter men in this town. Like...soon.”
You nodded in agreement and felt your eyes wander all over the road, remembering the time you and Rudy had taken your longboards down it after a torrential downpour and you had crashed and gotten such bad road burn that he had to call his dad to come pick you both up because you couldn’t walk.
“Hey, Y/N, are you listening?” Lizzy cut back in, staring at you.
“No, what?”
“I said, speaking of hot guys, I heard Rudy is coming back for a few months.”
You pinched your face and looked at her then at the road, then back at her.
“Rudy is not hot. Rudy is....Rudy. What are you talking about?”
Lizzy looked at you disbelieving and closed her mouth, trying not to smile.
“What!” You repeated, smacking her arm.
“Hey!” She laughed, then shook her head and looked out the window. “Whatever you say man, I just think....” She grabbed her water bottle and began to screw off the lid “I just think...he’s not gonna be the same Rudy that left 4 years ago. He’s like...a movie star now.”
You couldn’t even begin to touch that one. You knew what she was doing...she was always harping on you about going on dates or taking trips with her to the mainland to hook up with the pilots during their layovers. You never went, and always insisted that you were just fine and were not interested. She never listened. Part of that was true...you were fine, and usually not interested. But sometimes, when the water was calm and the sunset was colourful and the fish were jumping and your beer was cold...you wished you had someone to share it with.
“I’m going up to Skagway this weekend with my dad” You said, changing subjects. “He’s short a guide and needs someone to drive the boat.”
“Lucky you” She said sarcastically, screwing the lid back on her bottle. “Another weekend spent with men twice your age who have zero ability to catch a fish and even less ability to smell nice.” 
“It’s good money.” You said flatly, annoyed that everything seemed to revolve around men with her. “And in case you forgot I’m kinda in need of that at the moment.”
Lizzy licked her lips and put her hands up, dipping her head. 
“Alright...noted. Chill out Kemosabe.” She giggled under her breath and looked out her window, drawing a small penis in the moisture on the window.
“Babe, seriously. You need to get laid.” You said, shaking your head.
“I know” She replied, working on the veins. “Trust me. Im in a state of national emergency by this time of year.”
Lizzy was absolutely one of the girliest girls (and most beautiful girls) in the south of Alaska, which was ironic considering the house she grew up in. Her dad was an overweight German restaurant entrepreneur who had opened a world class seafood restaurant in Juneau back in the 90s and had shacked up with her mother who was this drop dead gorgeous Haida warrior woman who you had literally seen kill and skin a bear with her own hands. 
They had forged this chain of restaurants local to Alaska that people flew hundreds of miles to eat at, but still lived in an off-grid cabin that hadn’t been insulated since 1960 and used wood heating. Not really the type of family that screamed southern belle femininity - yet somehow Lizzy came out of that union with a pink bed set, refusing to ever wear camo or sweatpants, and still had never shot a gun - which her mother reminded her of weekly. 
Lizzy had hit puberty at 10 and had used her breast advantage over every girl in your class for the next 3 years like some sort of distinction of better genetics, as if she needed boobs to prove that. Unlike you, she was naturally thin and tall (6ft to be precise), had long, thick straight black hair and olive skin, and perfect hips. You felt like a prepubescent boy standing next to her, with your uneven complexion and your frizz and your awkward thigh fat distribution. You were envious of her genetics - her mother graced her with the body of an athlete and the thick black hair, and her father had given her height and cheekbones that could slice through glass. You looked down at your arms, covered in freckles, pasty white from lack of sun, and cringed, looking back at the road.
You turned the corner leaving the main road and starting on the dirt road that led to your favourite part of beach access. Lizzy pulled her hoodie out of her backpack and took off her seatbelt, leaning forward to pull it down over her head. You leaned forward and looked up, this was your favourite part of the drive. The dirt road which was lined with moss and ferns and other foliage wound along the base of the snow capped mountain that was at least 1000ft in elevation. The mist and fog from the coast was thick and creeped through the tall cedar trees, black ravens and falcons flying overhead stark against the white mist. This was the most idyllic picture of northwest coastal living you could find.
When you parked at the trail head Lizzy slipped off her work flats and into her Teva’s, you grabbed your yellow Vans out of your trunk and slipped them on. You usually drove bare foot, a habit you had started in high school after Rudy had thrown your shoes off the dock at the restaurant and you had to drive home without any. You grabbed your sweater and your backpack which had the beer in it. As you were both gathering the rest of your things...beach blanket, hats, and rain cover, you heard a car pull up behind you. You stood up out of the trunk and squinted to see the car through the fog. It was a black ford pickup you had never seen before. 
“Who’s that?” Lizzy chimed in from behind you.
“No clue” You said as you lifted your hand to wave once. 
The truck had tinted windows and looked brand new. When it pulled up beside you, the drivers side window began to unroll, revealing Junior - your high school (ex) sweetheart.
“Holy” You said, eyebrows up, nodding. “Nice truck - where’d you steal it from?” He rolled his eyes at you dramatically.
“Whatever kid - its a rental. Got it to drive to the airport in.” His chest puffed out and his expression read so proud. 
“Airport?” You said inquisitively. “Since when does Alan pay you to drive new trucks to the airport?” 
“Since Rudy hired him for the pick up service and apparently is incapable of driving his own ass around anymore” Junior snorted and waved at Lizzy.
“Or he doesn’t have a car here anymore” You noted, rolling your eyes at him.
“Either way, I get this bad boy for the next 24 hours and I intend to give her the royal grand tour of our humble town.” He ran his hand up and down the steering wheel, stroking the new leather. “Wanna go for a rip?” He said, winking. You shook your head and crossed your arms over your chest. 
“Well I do” Lizzy piped up from beside you, walking closer to the window. She smiled at Junior and began to put her hair in a pony tail. She nudged your arm as she began to walk to the passenger side door. “Come on, granny. Let’s go!”
She laughed as she climbed up into the truck, but you shook your head again.
“I’m good...you kids have fun. Say hi to Rudy for me” You said to Junior, who shrugged his head and muttered ‘definitely wont do that’ under his breath.
Lizzy blew a kiss at you and waved once before Junior put it in drive and started to go up the dirt road north of you. 
Junior and you had ended on okay terms, but he had concocted a theory that you had broken up with him because of another guy, and the unspoken suggestion was that that guy had been Rudy. Small town guys had a heck of a time with the idea of girls and guys just being friends. 
You sighed and watched as the truck disappeared around the corner, and turned back to your own car. You grabbed your backpack and slammed the trunk closed, walking down the path alone. You weren’t mad at Lizzy for going with him - she was flighty and bailed on you at the bar all the time - but you were mad the beer was going to go warm before you could drink it all. Not that you should even be drinking 6 beers alone by the water when you had to drive yourself home. Doubtful the 2 cops in this town would even be awake to see you though. Whatever.
You reached the end of the path and rounded the corner, revealing the coast line and the rocky beach. It was your favourite place to sit and think, sit and smoke, sit and be yourself. The beach curled in a U shape, giving you a private spot where the rest of the shoreline was blocked from view and all you could see was the ominous cedar forest that stretched up the mountain, the snow caps at the top, and the horizon over the cold pacific.
You had intended to share the joint you had in your pocket with Lizzie, but...well, her loss. You spread the blanket out on the softest patch of sand and rocks you could find (which still meant you were guaranteed to get at least 2 rocks in the ass) and placed your bag down, kicking off your sneakers. You took a deep breath for the first time in a few days and lit the joint, taking one long, deep inhale. You felt it tingle through your chest and your arms and legs almost immediately, relaxing you. Being here alone always sent you into a spiral of memories and thoughts that you worked hard during the day to suppress. Most insistent lately had been thoughts about your health problems. You called them ‘health problems’ but in reality it was just an eating disorder. You could go 2, sometimes 3 days without eating anything, and never felt hungry. It started after graduation.
You had lost weight, dramatically, going from a stable 120-125 to 95 at most and 90 at worst, in the span of a month. And for the next three years you had never gained it back, you had stayed at a relatively stable 95, which still left you looking sickly and too thin at 5’3”. Your frame wasn’t built for that kind of weight drop, you were Scottish and Cree, sprinkled with a little bit of German and Irish. A classic northwest cracker mix. You weren’t naturally small, you always had a bit of something to grab onto, but it was normal to your body, healthy. 
Some part of your brain knew that it had something to do with leaving school...and the pretence that came with that. The expectation...the responsibility. You were never that kind of person, and it never really bothered you, but suddenly it had. You never planned to go to University right away, but you had no back up plan. It wasn't something you and your friends really talked about. But suddenly Jacob had gotten into U of Washington, Dan had left to backpack Europe, and Rudy had not so graciously announced he was deferring his acceptance and scholarship to culinary school because he wanted to be an actor, and flew to LA the next month. You had been left behind, with Lizzy of all people, and it had hit you hard.
You looked around the beach, dragging on your joint quicker than normal, trying to knock the thoughts out of your head. An Eagle screeched above - scaring you - and you laid back on the blanket, closing your eyes. You needed to chill the hell out. This was the first time in a few weeks that you had gotten a night off from helping your dad with his guide business and you didn’t plan on wasting it riddling your brain with anxiety and worrying about your body.
You looked up at the sky and watched the mist and fog kiss the clouds, the sunset colours dancing across them. As it usually did, the rain had stopped just as the sun was going down, the clouds parting briefly and letting the smallest sliver of sunlight through, just enough to burn the grey light out of the sky and allow the pink and orange hues to fade along the horizon. You sat up and cracked a beer, enjoying the fresh smelling air and the rhythmic sound of the waves licking the shore line. 
Two beers in you had put on your jacket and placed your Bluetooth speaker next to you on the blanket, blasting a playlist that Rudy had made you for your graduation party.
Three beers in you took the jacket off, standing up and dancing by yourself on the beach to the music.
Four beers in you laid down on the blanket, balled your jacket up and used it as a pillow, and started looking for shapes in the stars.
Five beers in you fell sleep.
———
Many hours later, as the sun rose and was bright on the water and the early morning bird feed was in full swing overhead, you were drifting in and out of sleep to the squawking when a shadow came across your face, alerting you to groggily open your eyes.
“What’s up, Little Fern?” His voice had gotten deeper. Wait, what?
You opened your eyes and blinked, raising a hand to block the sun. There, in your very awake and very not dreaming state, was the unmistakable silhouette that you had spent the last 18 years dreaming about and 18 years being a friend to.
Rudy.
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rouge-the-bat · 4 years
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OOPS I HAD STARTED THIS THEN SAVED AS A DRAFT TO FINISH LATER BUT THEN FORGOT SO ITS. BEEN A BIT SINCE I WAS ACTUALLY TAGGED FOR THIS LMAO
ANYWAYS i was tagged by @skayforrest :'33
Rules: Please make your own text post when answering these to avoid long posts. Highlight/bold what applies to you!
for me to make it easier for me to read im going for:
bold: definitely me :3
italics: kinda me!
strikethrough: not me at All
(subscript parenthesis): my comments! (bc im very rambly lol)
also changing // between different phrases to ♡♡ to make it easier for me to distinguish between phrases too owo
♡  Appearance ♡
I am over 5’5 ♡♡ I wear glasses/contacts ♡♡ I have blonde hair ♡♡ I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing ♡♡ I have one or more piercings (my ears!) ♡♡ I have at least one tattoo (i want to get one of a drawing ive made soon tho!) ♡♡ I have blue eyes ♡♡ I have dyed or highlighted my hair (its p much back to normal now tho- and i want to dye it pink someday) ♡♡ I have gotten plastic surgery ♡♡ I have or had braces ♡♡ I sunburn easily ♡♡ I have freckles ♡♡ I paint my nails (not super often but i have fun doing it occasionally owo!) ♡♡ I typically wear makeup (i rarely do and usually its just lispstick, with maybe eyshadow and/or eyeliner) ♡♡ I don’t often smile (i can be really smiley sometimes but i dont interact with others much (esp irl) so i tend to not emote a whole lot) ♡♡ I am pleased with how I look (im cute round n chubby!!) ♡♡ I prefer nike to adidas (i literally dont care) ♡♡ I wear baseball caps backwards
♡ Hobbies & Interests ♡
I play a sport (i play... wii sports and real life bowling sometimes at most :'3) ♡♡ I can play an instrument (its been a really long time but i learned clarinet from school band) ♡♡ I am artistic ♡♡ I know more than one language (id like to learn some tho, like japanese, french, and/or korean maybe?) ♡♡ I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (never a Literal trophy :O) ♡♡ I can cook or bake without a recipe ♡♡ I know how to swim ♡♡ I enjoy writing (i like to but school has made me anxious anytime i try now ;w;) ♡♡ I can do origami ♡♡ I prefer movies to tv shows ♡♡ I can execute a perfect somersault ♡♡ I enjoy singing (exclusively for singing along, i dont really ever sing on my own lol) ♡♡ I could survive in the wild on my own ♡♡ I have read a new book series this year ♡♡ I enjoy spending time with my friends (who wouldnt!! esp with my friends, theyre amazing :'3) ♡♡ I travel during school or work breaks (id like to travel more..) ♡♡ I can do a handstand
♡ Relationships ♡
I am in a relationship (my girlfriend is so wonderful 🥰) ♡♡ I have been single for over a year (been dating my gf for almost 2 full years now!) ♡♡ I have a crush (fictional crushes count right? bc i have a million of those lol) ♡♡ I have a best friend I have known for ten years ♡♡ My parents are together ♡♡ I have hooked up with my best friend (thats meaning sexual right? bc im sex repulsed and so is my gf whos my best friend so, absolutely not lol) ♡♡ I am adopted ♡♡ My crush has confessed to me (im p much always the first to confess lol) ♡♡ I have had a long-distance relationship (hopefully someday tho it wont be long distance :'3) ♡♡ I am an only child (dear god no i have. 1 full brother, 3 half brothers, 1 half sister, and 2 or 3 step brothers gjkxjfk) ♡♡ I give advice to my friends (im not the best with advice but i try when i can!!) ♡♡ I have made an online friend (all of my current friends are online!) ♡♡ I met up with someone I have met online (GOD I WISH)
♡ Aesthetics ♡
I have heard the ocean in a conch shell ♡♡ I have watched the sunrise (many times, after being awake all night bc im p mych nocturnal lol) ♡♡ I enjoy rainy days (god i love rain so much) ♡♡ I have slept under the stars (iirc im p sure ive slept in a tent for going camping before ??? but my memory sucks so im not sure if that happened or i just always wanted to gjkdjg) ♡♡ I meditate outside (maybe i should try that sometime..) ♡♡ The sound of chirping calms me ♡♡ I enjoy the smell of the beach (ive been to a beach just a couple times.. i dont remember what it smelled like) ♡♡ I know what snow tastes like (i eat snow EVERY time it snows here, esp to make snow cream) ♡♡ I listen to music to fall asleep (on occasion! always instrumental stuff, sometimes meant for relaxing or sometimes just a comfort song from a game i love) ♡♡ I enjoy thunderstorms ♡♡ I enjoy cloud watching ♡♡ I have attended a bonfire ♡♡ I pay close attention to colors (ofc ! i love colors and graphic design is my passion- but like Actually, im not quoting the meme lol) ♡♡ I find mystery in the ocean ♡♡ I enjoy hiking on nature paths (would REALLY need to be in the mood for it) ♡♡ Autumn is my favourite season (close ! i love the chilly air and aesthetic of autumn as well, but winter is my ultimate comfort season <3)
♡ Miscellaneous ♡
I can fall asleep in moving vehicles ♡♡ I am the mom friend (mom friend mode can activate on Occasion, but usually im silly bastard friend) ♡♡ I am involved in extracurricular activities (im not in school) ♡♡ I enjoy mexican food ♡♡ I can drive a stick-shift (i still havent learned how to drive yet owo;;) ♡♡ I believe in true love (probably not in a typical sense?) ♡♡ I make up scenarios to fall asleep (oh no, i make up scenarios constantly in my head throughout the day, i get way too invested in them so they usually keep me up if i think about them when trying to sleep) ♡♡ I sing in the shower ♡♡ I wish I lived in a superhero movie (i def wanna live in some fictional worlds, but superhero movies arent things im usually into) ♡♡ I have a canopy above my bed ♡♡ I am multiracial (im not super familiar with my ancestry rn, so idk. would like to know sometime tho) ♡♡ I am a redhead ♡♡ I own at least 3 dogs/cats (rn i have 2 dogs and 3 cats!)
and uhhh ill tag @spiiderbiites @miphelda @kipokin @queerplyke @ameila if yall wanna do it :3? (if yalld like i can go thru n supply a version of this without all of my font edits and comments!) AH WHOOPS I GOT A URL MESSED UP BUT XENOLEAF U CAN DO TOO IF U WANT
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milkie-yoongi · 5 years
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GET TO KNOW ME
rules: bold everything that applies to you then tag 10 people you’d like to get to know better
thanks for the tag @koyabebe this thing looks super fun!
—-
Appearance:
I’m over 5’5”(im short and I like it) // I wear glasses or contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing(it’s nice to feel like you’re not choking 24/7) // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes(my eyes like the muddd :)) // I have dyed or highlighted my hair(uh does a couple strands count??) // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily(alright I always took pride in saying that I didn’t burn but yesterday I went to the beach for less than 3 hours and got a pretty bad burn on my face, it doesn’t hurt though. But I guess this told me that yeah I do burn easily. Wear sunscreen kids cuz I didn’t) // I have freckles(just a tiny bit on my nose/cheek area cuz the sun reigns pretty much everyday here) // I typically wear makeup(light makeup since it makes me feel more awake after I put it on) // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look(we all should be thankful for the features we were born with!:) // I prefer Nike to Adidas(AIRMAX yes)// I wear baseball hats backward
—-
Hobbies and Talents:
I play a sport (nah I’m not athletic like I used to be big cry) // I can play an instrument(my youtube channel is here for proof—> https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC8rHB6-DB-xcG5ABak1G2YA) // I am artistic(does drawing weird and making weird memes on photoshop count?) // I know more than one language (a few words phrases of another,this didn’t say fluent, so haha) // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (my piano teacher had the best glass trophies with our names on them and she’d give them to everyone who participated in performances. yoongi would be so jealous) // I can cook or bake without a recipe(trial and error yk who has time to read directions?) // I know how to swim (I don’t swim I drown) // I enjoy writing(i like writing down my thoughts, potential song lyrics from my life events, and letters to ppl I love😊) // I can do origami // I prefer movies to TV shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing(songs have so much power but my voice is not the best for singing imo. it just makes me feel better if I’m home alone or need encouragement)// I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year(I don’t read ffff) // I enjoy spending time with my friends(I go out too much cuz I can’t say no and I have FOMO here’s why I’m broke:/)// I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand
—-
Relationships:
I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year(cuz no one is worthy. Every dude around me is so arrogant and superficial, it’s just the culture here sighhh. thanks yoongi for making me have high standards I’m proud of that) // I have a crush(nah I’m super picky man)// I have a best friend I have known for ten years // My parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends(I’m the counselor friend and I love it) // I have made an online friend(you know who you are and if you’re reading this I LOVE YOU)// I met up with someone I have met online(I’d be too scared unless I REALLY trusted you)
—-
Aesthetic:
I have heard the ocean in a conch shell(or maybe the shell was mad??) // I have seen the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days(I LOVE the sound of rain and the overcast skies it makes everything calmer and cozier...too bad it doesn’t rain often here) // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // The sound of chirping calms me(birds are better than people) // I enjoy the smell of the ocean // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep(I can’t cuz I’ll start analyzing the beat and stuff or humming to it) // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching(I like staring off into space and not thinking in general) // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colours// I find mystery in the ocean(what kind of phrase lol the ocean is scaryyy because it’s a mystery) // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Autumn is my favourite season
—-
Misc:
I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle(only if I’m super tired but I love moving vehicles they make me feel better)// I am the mom friend(I guess? You tell me) // I live by a certain quote(s) (too many to count) // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities(still doing piano lessons and stuffs count?) // I enjoy Mexican food(only churros but depends on the place other than that it’s ehhhh sorry) // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep(I daydream a lot cuz reality sucks ha) // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a game(oh ya cuz if you mess up you can restart and you can die multiple times instead of just once! Also games are cooler than reality) // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial(it’s hard at times but I wouldn’t want it any other way!) // I am a redhead // I own at least three dogs(I have no pets but I want a baby kitten so bad! And a cute little bird!)
I tag @yosunyoongi @yoongisugameow @jincendio @cubbienamu @ididitforbtsman @teacupswithteapots @daughterofthemoon92 @inkofyoongi @wittleyoon @bts-lune @specrownedmyg @sleepyseoulhours @kpoplittleheadcannon @r3d-lov1ng-4ng3l @littleyoonie @soft-baby-yoongi @yoonjincafe @babyboy-bts and anyone else who wants to do this!
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alienshea · 6 years
Text
And now, for no absolute reason, I will give every Gorillaz song from the main 6 studio albums my rating from 1-10
Self-Titled
Re-Hash: 7.5/10
Bopping tune, 2D doing his own backup vocals make me swoon, Noodle is great as always, no one really knows what the lyrics are but they’re valid
5/4: 6/10
Better than average,not the best song i’ve ever heard but still pretty good, kinda uncomfy with Noodle screaming about someone turning her dad on, drumbeat makes me wanna dance, wished they couldve made the music video
Tomorrow Comes Today: 7/10
The kind of song that gets stuck in your head all day, love the overall sad tone, music video makes me laugh now bc that one murdoc gif, makes me cry when i have depressive episodes
New Genius (Brother): 7.5/10
Love 2D’s voice in it, lyrics hit home a little bit for me, have never skipped this song tbh, overall pretty good song
Clint Eastwood: 8.5/10
I literally know all the words, I love the rap, iconic, there’s a reason it’s popular, Del is everything
Man Research (Clapper): 3/10
oooo boy i’m gonna get shit for this one, i always skip this song, i can’t stand the whole “yeah yeah” thing, the only great part about this song is the “tHiS Is a bReAkFaSt ClUuUuuUB!”
Punk: 6.5/10
gets me turnt, toooooo short, tbh i like any song where 2D yells
Sound Check (Gravity): 9/10
looooove this song, gives me body chills when the drums kick in, love the deep ass voice, overall emo kid bop
Double Bass: 8/10
nice jam, I like listening to this when I do homework or art, relaxing
Rock The House: 8/10
legit makes me get up and dance, great rhythm, music video is beautiful
19/2000: 9/10
amazing bop, gets me pumped, iconic af, first gorillaz song i ever heard and first music video i ever saw, n o o d l e
Latin Simone: 7/10
I don’t speak spanish so i cant really sing along, love the feel of it, will listen on repeat, prefer the english version but im biased
Starshine: 6.5/10
idk I don’t really listen to this one, not a bad song i just wouldn’t play it on repeat or actively look for it, i do like the vocals
Slow Country: 8.5/10
love the feeling this song gives me, kinda like im just floating, super chill song to get high to, have never skipped this song, i like the lyrics
M1A1: 8/10
super fun song to sing along with, honestly the best song they couldve ever chosen to start a concert, he   s c r e a m
OVERALL SCORE FOR SELF-TITLED: 7.5 (rounded up)
Demon Days
Last Living Souls: 9/10
absolute favourite song on the album, breakdown gives me chills, constantly changing it’s tune and i love it, the basssss <3
Kids With Guns: 6/10
I love singing the chorus, great song to have in the background, chill af
O Green World: 7.5/10
i love the instrumental of this one, vocals give me chills, kinda wish you could hear the singing more tho
Dirty Harry: 6.5/10
bopping beat, i love the rap part, overall not really the type of song i’d play on repeat but not bad
Feel Good Inc: 8/10
first and foremost the fucking bass of this song is the reason i’m learning bass, chorus gives me chills, kinda overused but i understand
El Manana: 6/10
kind of a meh song for me personally, not a bad one just not the greatest
Every Planet We Reach Is Dead: 9/10
banger, the reason im also learning guitar, vocals are on point, has made me cry before
November Has Come: 7/10
love the chorus, rap is kinda meh for me, i like the beat
All Alone: 5/10
not really a song i listen to, i like the bloopy noises
White Light: 4/10
I always skip this one tbh, better than man research but not by much
DARE: 6.5/10
this song haunts my dreams, its like the best kind of elevator music, on another note you fucking go noodle
Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey’s Head: 7.5/10
I WANNA BE A COWBOY BABY, narrative is really fucking good tho
Don’t Get Lost In Heaven: 8/10
beautiful, usually dont like gospel-esque music but i love this, gives me chills
Demon Days: 6.5/10
not my favourite tbh, meh for me
OVERALL SCORE FOR DEMON DAYS: 6.5 (rounded up)
Plastic Beach
Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach: 7.5/10
i love snoop dogg, also this song gives me good vibes
White Flag: 5/10
ehhhh not a fan of this one, i usually skip it, i like the orchestra tho
Rhinestones Eyes: 8.5/10
i fucking love this song, great tune great vocals, i never skip it, i even got my boyfriend to start loving this song even tho he doesnt really like gorillaz
Stylo: 9/10
jesus this song, makes my heart hurt, i absoultely long singing along to this, his voiceeeee, bobby womack!
Superfast Jellyfish: 8.5/10
quirky af, i love de la soul in this one a lot, have never skipped this
Empire Ants: 9/10
so beautiful, has made me cry, both of their voices are so soft and lovely ugh
Glitter Freeze: 6/10
starts off strong but when it starts sounding like a drill i usually yeet out
Some Kind Of Nature: 8/10
used to be my favourite until i started listening to the album more, 2d’s part is so soulful omg
On Melancholy Hill: 8.5/10
so sad and amazing, music video is probably my favourite, is me and my best mate’s “song”
Broken: 9/10
ugh beautiful, i know all the words and always sing them loud af, has never skipped this song, honestly is everything
Sweepstakes: 5.5/10
not a big fan, i usually skip this one, not a horrible song just not for me
Plastic Beach: 7.5/10
love it, better at the beginning than the end, still a bop
To Binge: 10/10
WHEEEW BOY, i love this song, its so sad and amazing and gay jesus christ, the best thing murdoc has ever done
Cloud of Unknowing: 7/10
soulful and beautiful, again bobby womack!!
Pirate Jet: 7/10
i love the tune bc it gets me feeling ~spooky~, lyrics dont really make sense but thats okay
OVERALL SCORE FOR PLASTIC BEACH: 7.5 (rounded up)
The Fall
Phoner to Arizona: 8/10
gets me bopping and grooving, great music to play in the background while writing or doing art, my go to for when i draw or need background sound while I relax
Revolving Doors: 9.5/10
OOF, it so sad and it makes me feel things, i scream the lyrics errytime
Hillbilly Man: 10/10
fell in love with this the second I heard it, has been my favourite song of all time for over 2 years now, will never skip it in my life, i yearn to learn the guitar 
 Detroit: 6.5/10
generally a good happy bop, usually play it as background sound
Shy-Town: 6/10
nice to the ear, i don’t really like the prerecorded vocals of 2D but when Damon sung it live it sounds much better
Little Pink Plastic Bags: 8/10
i love it ugh, relaxing af, will never skip
The Joplin Spider: 9/10
big love for this song, its just soooo goooood
The Parish Of Space Dust: 7.5/10
big cowboy energy, sounds so sweet, 2D’s voice is unnnf
The Snake In Dallas: 7/10
good for when you wanna party but you’re depressed and can only stay in bed, love the little robotic sounds
Amarillo: 9.5/10
i meeeean what can i say, this song is so sad and gay and beautiful, ive cried while listening it this, will never skip
The Speak It Mountains: 7.5/10
this track is really weird and creepy and kind of not a song but i adore it anyway
 Aspen Forest: 8/10
beautiful sounds, the piano is so soothing, will play this on repeat while i zone out
Bobby In Phoenix: 9/10
i wanna cry every single time i hear this bobby come back
California and the Slipping of the Sun: 7.5/10
this song so so pretty and i cry every time ugh, he sounds so fed up im sorry pretty boy
Seattle Yodel: ???
what
OVERALL SCORE FOR THE FALL: 8 (rounded down)
Humanz
Ascension: 8.5/10
absolute banger, i get pumped everytime this comes on, skys falling bb
Strobelite: 7.5/10
i used to hate this song but then the music video came out and i tried it again and now i love it dont @ me
Saturnz Barz: 9/10
theres so much i could say about this song ans the mv unf
Momentz: 9/10
banger, i dance like a maniac every time i hear it, will never skip
Submission: 8/10
gives me a good chance to work on high notes, makes my skin tingly
Charger: 8.5/10
2D’s voice is so griity and i can help myself
Andromeda: 8.5/10
I’ve never skipped this song, has made me cry, makes me dance
Busted And Blue: 9/10
has made me cry several times, vocals are everything, will never skip
Carnival: 7/10
is a bop, don’t really listen to it much anymore but it’s alright
Let Me Out: 8/10
i love it, one of my favourites to rap with
Sex Murder Party: 4/10
ehhh dont like this one, i always skip it
She’s My Collar: 8.5/10
i dont want to admit the things 2D’s voice in this makes me wanna do
Hallelujah Money: 7.5/10
hated this at first, grew to love, very soothing
We Got The Power: 9.5/10
gets me FUCKING PUMPED, we do got the power fuckers
OVERALL SCORE FOR HUMANZ: 8.5 (rounded down)
The Now Now
Humility: 8.5/10
summer bop, makes me wanna dance, have never skipped
Tranz: 9.5/10
i love singing along to this bc it makes me feel sexy oops, always screams the lyrics
Hollywood: 7/10
not a huge fan of this but ill listen to it, favourite part is the chorus, also snoop doggy dogg
Kansas: 9/10
oof this song makes me cry, i always scream this 
Sorcererz: 7.5/10
ooo them vocals thooo, makes me relaxed
Idaho: 8.5/10
i love this song sm, one of my favourites of all time to sing, i wanna learn the guitar for this
Lake Zurich: 8/10
I love to listen to this while relaxing or writing, makes me wanna dance, COWBELL
Magic City: 8.5
always dancing to this, billboards on the moooon
Fireflies: 10/10
yall saw this coming, i always cry, its so somber, in close competition w HillBilly Man for my all time favourite
One Percent: 6.5/10
only song on the album i would skip and it isnt even that bad
Souk Eye: 10/10
its so gay and sad i love it sm
OVERALL SCORE FOR THE NOW NOW: 8.5 (rounded up)
So after months of me saying i’d rate the songs in order I finally did! Now keep in my the overall scores are averages, my personal rating for each album is:
Self-Titled: 8/10
Demon Days: 7/10
Plastic Beach: 8.5/10
The Fall: 8/10
Humanz: 7.5/10
The Now Now: 9/10
thanks for reading, i did this so i wouldn’t have to write an essay oops! <3
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bonbonswirl-blog · 6 years
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Perfect
ALL THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO @brueklynn I OWN NOTHING. This is like..uhhhh idk?... a 'batim' au idea? I guess? Im Not sure idk..its just that I got the idea from there and Instead of bendy its jokey, but not really exactly what happend there in batim. Plz ignore the bad portrayed scenes XD blondie is a lot OOC here. Enjoy if you only can thx.
It was a typical afternoon, the sunlit clouds drifted across a clear blue sky, fresh air filled the atmosphere swaying the palm trees gently by a breeze. David was at the recording room, a mellifluous melodic singing voice rose high, following the sweet, piping notes produced by the musical instruments around. After such a lilting, everyone toke a break, david sat on a chair, holding the lyrics for the new song in his hands. He saw a shadow approaching him, revealing his only cheerful boss. "Oh hey Mr. Blondie!! How are you in this lovely day!" "Hello david! Just checking on my young talented singer! How is the new song going?" "Its going great! Im just reading the lyrics again now!" "Thats good!...you know david...have you ever thought about how much the children love your jokey voice?" "Oh! Thats intresting...im sure everybody enjoy listening to it!" "Yea! they do....have you ever felt some...connections...to jokey?" "Connections? Mmmm well...I do feel that we both share a good love for the stage and thrilling the audience! along with the love to asssist other people and spread some optimism in the air!" "Thats beautifull!...Have you ever considered before...becoming this star that all those kids appresciate?" "That...looks pretty Mr. Blondie! But what do you mean?" His boss began to equivocally chuckle, it was low but icy, wasnt like his usual gleeful ones that gave an auditory hug, but david overlooked that, remaining unruffled till the answer. "David. Can you come with me for a while?" "Sure thing! But..what about the new song?" "Dont worry! It can be done in another time! now follow me!" They both left the recording room, the animator leading the ginger boy across the studio, while on their little trip to the unknown room they are walking to, david catched from away a sight of henry, tommy and norman talking together until a rueful rob drew near them, starting a conversation. David didnt mean to eavesdrop anyone, but their high voices did reach his ear. "Guys! Have any of you heared ANYthing lately about harriet? I cant find her anywhere! She didnt come to work and she is not at her home! I called her many times but she doesnt reply! Im really so scared..." rob vented, the three told him thag they didnt see her too. David felt sorry for the fellow worker, hoping that harriet is alright and will be back soon. He looked forward, though he only saw blondie back and his wheelchair, he could feel that he is trying to ignore something, he may have heard a little of the talking out there, maybe he feels sad too? But david was in his mind for a bit, wasnt aware of the time until he sensed that blondie stopped moving. This is when he noticed he is in an unrecognizable area he didnt see before, maybe this was a new place that got built recently?, " Here we are david!!" In front of both was a dark long way of stairs, it was only one storey up, just like one of those half open basemant stariecases. David knew not both will be able to clmib this, he was ready to push that wheelchair up, he looked at blondie concerned, whom just returned a grin. "Dont worry about me! I have my own ways for climbing those!" David didnt really get it, but he just let it go and left blondie to use to his own way, watching him in every step making sure he wont be close to any harm.
Dont ask how blondie climbed the stairs, he just did. that was a really narrow hall they were both in, in front of them a wooden door, blondie toke out his keys and opened it, only for both to be greeted by. "Finally!! Where Were ya!!" an angry wallaby yelled, looking as if he lost patience, it seems blondie was late to whatever meeting they should have done earlier, the room wasnt so small, almost looks like a little hallway with a wall at the end. The view was...tensed, it was a dark room with only a little bulb barley lighning it, orange colored light struggling to penetrate the darkness in thin thread rays. It was almost as if candles were the ones giving the slight shine here. Wallaby, paul and murphy were there, standing near the sides of the walls, everyone in a specific place, two at the right wall and one at the left one, only a mile spearting each two. the menacing aura holding david in a tightening grip, why do blondie have such a grisly decorating tatse...He wasnt sure if entering this room is a safe idea. "Guys!! I Brought Our Last Guest!!" Blondie exclaimed in a chirpy tone, closing the door behind himm Last guest? What does he mean? "Can we PLEASE Finish This Now And Go out?" "Come on paul dont be such a killjoy! Enjoy the place!" "If you are telling us to enjoy this creepy atmosphere then I had lost all my faith in you." murphy sneered, clearly not comfortable or trusty with how this 'gathering' is going to end, nobody knows the goal behind it. "Come on David! Here! This Is Your Place!! Stay Still And Dont Move Ok?" Blondie said while putting david on a specific spot on the left wall. "Sure! Wont Move A Shoe!" David obeyed, blondie looked at him, but this time, although he had his usual smile that showed his white glowed teeth spreaded on his face, his eyes had shimmers with some inexplicable spite. "Everything is set~" He whispered this under his breath while walking to one of the corners, nobody heard that one. Three of the invited four toke a look at blondie whereas he was doing something uncanny at that distant corner. David turned at the person in front of him, which was paul. "Oh! hey Mr.Paul!" But being the tedious man he is, paul didnt respone, only focusing on the book on his hand, thats why wallaby seemed as if he was gabbling to himself. The young boy then looked to his right side and saw murphy, still keeping an eye at blondie in a suspicion, despite not understanding a thing from what he was doing, nobody can just fetch someone to a room like this without being not up to something. "So Guys! Why are we here?" "I Dunno david! Mr. Blondie just went to me and told me that I gotta get here cuz he needs me for somethin, well I dont see anything! All I do is just standing on dis here spot not movin a leg!! What about ya paul?" "I dont care I just came here so he can stop nagging me." " I came here after he told me that I can be a 'star' like jokey." "Wait you gonna be a star? Ooh! Thats why we standin on a star!" "What?!" Wallaby words strongly drived murphy attention, making him watch the ground, they all noticed it now, they are standing on 'stars' that are drawn on the floor. David felt inside him a very straied premonisition feeling that was telling him to move, he didnt understand it, why would his guts tell him to move away from a single drawing on the floor? He promised his boss he will stay still there....how could a star drawing hurt anyone? Since whe do drawing harm people? But no matter how much he tries to brush off that feeling, it feels like a stiff weigh was being held on his chest, it made him feel so sick, maybe he just needs to move because his legs hurt him? Yeh yeh thats just it. The cheeky lad toke one step only out of that star shape, he tried to persuad himself its his legs aching and not because of a sixth sense, and that was really something he should be thankful for because. "Guys! I think we gonna be a stars!" "Wallaby...I dont think this star shape is used fo-" "GOODBYE MATES!!"
And with a casted spell and a flash of an eye, everybody was drowned with an unknown colorful sticky liquid that fully covered them, gluing them to the ground. Expect David, who fell down to the ground aspect with a horrible fear that rised behind his eyes from the grisly vision that immediately happend.
Blondie Stood there, watching him in enmity.
Blondie turned around, only to be so bothered by seeing the surviver. "Oh it seems I missed a shot! Im going to fix this~" The words had deserted david, the color quickly drained from his face, a cold wave embalmed him and his mouth ran dry, sweat poured down his body, Heart began to hammer against his chest, every muscle in his body shouted at him to flee. To escpae this imminent threat. He hurried to the door, using every little cell of power left to open it, but no matter how much he quickly moves the handle in fright, the door didnt open, oh yes, blondie locked it. Seeing no hope, he knocked on it so expeditiously and hardly, trying not to make his words stumbled, begging for someone outside to hear him. "HEEEEELLLP!!! HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!! ANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!? PLEASE HELP ME!!" "Come on David, why so nervous?" Blondie snickered from behind him, his voice hinting he is oncoming, his tone ringing in a sick icy way, sending chimes ringing in david ears, but he kept screaming for a rescue, he was not frightened nor afraid, he was beyond such mere nouns, he was going crazy, his boater hat fell from his head, it only reminded of how much he wants his family NOW in this profound situation, he just wanted to go back to them again, stay with his father marley at home and go to beach together or golf or car or wherever his father wants to go, staying in his parents arms was all what he desired, he would never wish anything anymore after this. He could no longer control his hands they were shaking in an odd trembling rhythm, his legs collapsed underneath him, teeth chattering in fear, He slid down the door, bringing his knees up to his chest.
"I-I-I-I-I-I D-D-DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!"
"You dont understand? I hated you! Im who created jokey! He was my friend since the childhood! My friend since the start!! But you! I saw every little detail I gifted him in you! You were perfect, perfect for him, more perfect than me! Now that I had a studio of my own, I wanted him to be alive! I reached my wish by the help of you all, by animating and presenting him to all the children around the world, they loved him, just like me! But lately, I didnt feel that I made this dream come true yet...how can a cartoon character offset me of a friend who always stayed by my side that I cant make real! But now I found a second chance, a second chance to revive him, to this reality. Thats it! Thats the chance! By using some souls to bring those stunning characters and that convival cartoony world I created to reality...that was always my biggest dream...and whats a better chance than to have the voice actor whom I influenced the traits for the children 'star' right at my hand~ People will love you david~"
Blondie was right, if david dyed his hair black and wore some cheeks make up, he could exactly like a real life jokey, but who would need a cheap costume when you can bring jokey himself to reality. David recalled the times when he sometimes thought uncle harry may have been a little overprotective of him. He thought his uncle needs to ease a bit, nothing so dangerous will happen for him. Now, he regret thinking this, and wants him to overprotect him forever and ever. Fear became a tangible, living force that crept over him like some hungry beast, immobilizing him and his brain, holding him a captive and took control of his entire body, Shadows and echoes play on his senses warping shapes and sounds. That outlandish substance already reached his legs, his life flashed before his eyes and he ushered his bright unearthly ones shut.
Yeb, this is the angel end.
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turnerjosh45 · 6 years
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So Will I- Written by Josh D. Turner
Theres been a-lot of hard circumstances and situations I’ve faced recently in the past few days since I’ve been back from vacation that has tested me and my faith but at the same time it’s ultimately strengthened it. Ofcourse isn’t that life? You go to get a break and experience peace and love and have fun and everything and then boom the enemy is waiting for you when you get back. The world is ready to throw you back in there crazy messes they have created. The enemy is studying us and examining our weaknesses and what can break us and what traps to use to destroy and hurt us. So when we come back from wherever we are whether its church, vacation, good times with family, a fun day with friends, a retreat, our “Secret Place” with God, or wherever we were the enemy seems to always be waiting for us ready to attack, ready to throw those things at us again. Thats why we must be grounded in the word, prayer, worship, and our relationship with God so that when the attacks happen we can stand and make it through even if were trembling and shaking and ready to hit the floor with tears streaming down our face. Because if I’m honest all the attacks I have had happen to me since Ive been back from vacation has all made me wonder if I will ever be able to enjoy each day again without problems or worrying. I keep thinking and wondering what is going to happen next? what’s going to break me next? What storm will I have to walk through next? Who is going to put all the blame on me next? I’ve been too afraid to be 100% happy since I’ve been back and too afraid to actually enjoy each day because I keep thinking that something bad is going to happen day after day because theres been a few good things since I’ve been back and great memories but theres been more bad in my days then good in these few days, all these hard and tough things keep coming up whether I have had a good day or not. It seems like trail after trial is happening and Im just barely ducking from the enemys fists. People keep coming against me, and blaming me for things and situations just keep getting harder for me to deal with. I’ve had some anxiety attacks because of these things and more stress than I remember dealing with just piling up. Even during all of this though I keep thinking back to my trip to florida and an experience I had. During that trip I had an opportunity to visit a beach and stare straight out into the ocean, although it may have only been for 30 minutes or less it was still a breathtaking moment. It is a moment I will never forget. It was that moment I was in awe of Creation. Creation resembles our creator. I fell deeper in love with our creator that moment. It shows who he is because of what he made. That moment showed me how truly amazing our God was. How loving he was. How beautiful he was. That moment I felt total peace In my spirit. That moment I realized no matter how I felt God still had good plans for me and that he is so faithful! So I’m going to go back to that moment and desribe it to you. The smells all around me were incredible and the feeling of the waves and the air and the sand inbetween my feet was great. The sky was stunning and absolutely beautiful in every way humanly possible. Everything about that moment was paradise. It was total peace and one of those mountain top God experiences that we occasionally have, or maybe we have them more then we realize if we pay attention enough. The little things are the big things in life. Especially those little moments when we are shown God in a big or small miraculous way. In this case I was shown God through his creation which he has been speaking to me through alot more lately. I used to think it was silly when people said that God spoke through creation but not now, now I know what there talking about! I’m realizing God is all around us speaking through his creation often we just have to be open enough to listen. I remember writing God is love in the sand and drawing a picture of a heart equalling the cross.
I remember staring into the waves and sky and thinking of the song “So will I”- By Hillsong. A few of my favorite lines are in that song. It is one of my favorite songs because it shows me a new point and view of God and worshipping him. These are a few of those lines.
“And as You speak
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You say Every painted sky A canvas of Your grace If creation still obeys You so will I, So will I ,So will I, If the stars were made to worship so will I If the mountains bow in reverence so will I If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I For if everything exists to lift You high so will I If the wind goes where You send it so will I If the rocks cry out in silence so will I If the sum of all our praises still falls shy Then we’ll sing again a hundred billion times” that song sums up How I feel and how our creator is deffinatly present in his creation.
This little ocean mountain top experience is a moment I wish I could have been in longer because there was more I wanted to experience and see but it was enough to fill my heart and spirit up with. I kept thinking about it and now I know that moment was for me to have now, to get me through the attacks that would follow when I got back, this moment was to remember how peaceful that moment was so that now when Im in the valley I have that mountaintop experience to lean on. This experience has gotten me out of the attacks and God has been speaking to me that he will fix everything and that he will never leave me. Because despite it all so Will I! I will follow you even through the darkness! I will be fine because I have a God who is big enough to crush all the attacks and obstacles! I will worship even when I’m confused and hurt and questioning I will still worship! Worship gets me through so much! So if anyone is struggling remember our God is a God who is constantly speaking and finding ways to comfort and help us! Sometimes we just have to shift our perspective to his and then the beautiful part is watching how much changes. I will be happy! I will trust my God and lean on him! I can’t live in fear the rest of my life! I can’t worry every single day because of things I can’t control! I need to live each day to the fullest so I will! Writing all of this and remembering everything has brought me more joy than any of you will ever know.
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strawbabybug · 7 years
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im so fuckin emo now jesus christ apparently its being gay (but in public) time so strap yourselves the fuck in while i tell you how fucking great my friends are
josh: of course i gotta start with everyone’s favorite son and my favorite bigfoot furry/frog prince. josh is fuckin.... just... god i don’t know how to describe it. like... idk i get a feeling of like stability i guess? when i talk to him its just like oh okay everything is gonna be fine now cause josh is here. he is the softest boy and loves knitting and bunnies and cryptids and i just feel at peace when i’m talking to him or thinkin about him. he reminds me of green, like the forest, sipping a cup of tea on the front porch of a little cottage in the woods in the dewy morning.
mer: mom friend mom friend mom friend mom friend. mer is warm and friendly and it’s so easy to talk to her and she’s the one that will make sure that if you feel bad about yourself, she’s gonna kick your insecurities in the ass and make you feel like you are the most amazing and special person in the world. she’s so gay for all of her friends and she makes sure that we all know that we are fuckin LOVED. also i really wanna try her baking she keeps making brownies and i need some osidjfoifja. also i have seen her face several many times but still every time i hear her i still associate her with jaz from buzzfeed, its cause they sound so similar omg. i always associate her with light purple, but i think that’s mainly cause her icon is that color. i think another could be sea green, like the ocean waves on the beach house we’ll all live in one day. 
ezra: oh boy ez... he’s a boy full of sin alright. he’s a trouble boy alright. but he’s cute enough to get away with it. he tells the craziest fuckin stories and you sit there blinking wondering how the fuck he’s still alive and begin to get a little concerned and you want nothing more than to fly to canada and take him away and keep him safe. he’s so good and funny and jeez he is trouble but we still love him very much. he’s midnight blue/black in my mind, very dark and a little hint of being a little afraid of something in there, but ultimately very beautiful.
lauren: bright. lots of snapchats of random little dances to pop music. mayhaps she doesn’t seem to talk much anymore but its okay we still love her. she’s fun and funny and you just get a good feeling when she’s there. then she uses that to kill you in cold blood. ah well, what’s a little stabbing between friends? she’s like a pinky purple, boppy and bright, like the feeling of a pop song you haven’t heard in a long time and remembering how good it is. 
alex: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WELCOME TO T-T-T-T-T-TARGET!!! *AIRHORNS*** listen i have literally shopped at target my entire life. i have been to targets with so many people so many times. yet alex comes around and occasionally snaps us at work or tells us something that happened at work and we sometimes make target jokes in the group chat and now every time i see target or go to target i just think about her. she’s yellow, a bright color that sticks with you for a long time, radiant and fun and she’s made all of us love the color. 
joss: our resident cryptid. well actually... one of them... we all are in a way, aren’t we? joss is in a totally different timezone, all of us are in america or canada but joss is in singapore being awake whenever we are NO MATTER WHAT TIME IT IS DOES JOSS SLEEP WHO KNOWS THE MYSTERY WILL REMAIN... UNSOLVED. she lurks a lot but isn’t afraid to speak up and she makes memes of the things we say and edits videos and its really cool and god damn i love joss. she’s like... a rich royal blue... i’m actually not entirely sure why, she just feels that way to me and i can’t explain it.
analise: heLLO IM GAY FOR ANALISE AND HER ART HER ART IS SO GOOD AND I CRY AND SHES SO TALENTED AND SHE THINKS HER ART IS BAD AND I WANNA SMACK HER LIGHTLY WITH A PILLOW CAUSE NO YOU ARE FUCKING AMAZING AND TALENTED AND I WOULD SELL MY ENTIRE SOUL TO BE ABLE TO DRAW LIKE THAT AND YOUR COLORS ARE SO NICE AND YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL TALENTED GIRL AND GODDAMMIT I WANT YOU TO SEE THAT. anyways... analise is funny and in the bfu discord we were constantly in the nsfw chat coming up with headcanons *eyes emojis* and she helped me come up with a bunch of ideas and inspirations (both on that chat and in others lol). I associate her with red cause she draws shane a lot and i think i’m just constantly thinking of this one drawing she did of shane with a bright red flannel i think it was like one of the first of her drawings i saw, right before i met her, and have put with her all this time. 
anyways... thank you for my gay ramblings about my friends and i love them all so much and would die and/or kill for them
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bookwormcheerleader · 7 years
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i was tagged by @trevorfindsthestrals (LOOK i finally got internet access on my laptop again!! Sorry it took so long) 1. Coffee or tea? tea, i had my first cup of coffee on like thursday last week 2. Black and white or color? black or soft, but not pastel, colours 3. Drawings or paintings? idk, whatever is more moving in that moment i guess 4. Dresses or skirts? dresses because i never know how to match with a skirt 5. Books or movies? how DARE you make me choose, i think books, but i wanna make movies (potentially havent really explored that yet) so it seems like the wrong answer 6. Pepsi or Coke? i dont drink fizzy drinks 7. Chinese or Italian? definitely italian on an everyday basis but i LOVE chinese too 8. Early bird or night owl? its almost midnight and i havent started my reading for tomorrow, that counts as an answer right? 9. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate, unless its a milkshake 10. Introvert or extrovert? introvert, i don’t really like people 11. Hugs or kisses? ive never been kissed so hugs 12. Hunting or fishing? aesthetics of hunting but uh with fishing you can not put a hook on the line and just kinda sit there and chill without looking like the animal lover that your family judges you for being 13. Winter or summer? yes. idk im probably more of a summer person, but i also really like the implications of winter in that everything has to die in order to be reborn, plus i can’t really breathe in the heat, but i also have poor circulation in my extremities so the cold sucks ass 14. Spring or fall? spring, i like the crisp air of fall dont get me wrong, but the rebirth and the petrichor after a spring rain with a crisp breeze that doesnt chill you is just so relaxing 15. Rural or urban? i grew up in the woods so rural but i need to at least be kinda close to a hospital to avoid panicking  16. PC or Mac? pc 17. Tan or pale? is this preference, cuz i dont have one of those, but i am so white that i was the same color as my cheer uniform in high school 18. Cake or pie? cake, i dont like pie crust 19. Ice cream or yogurt? frozen yogurt tbh, it jsut tastes fresher and less heavy 20. Ketchup or mustard? my brother likes to mock me for how much i loved ketchup when i was like 7 as if it was yesterday 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? i dont like pickles 22. Comedy or mystery? can we do a hybrid where its like theyre fighting crime but have no ability to act serious, cuz im basically writing a comic book like that with @spectralflutterbeast 23. Boots or sandals? i live in a colder wetter climate so usually boots, but i love sandals 24. Silver or gold? i like white gold typically because its often a mix, it has the matching ability of silver with the warmth in color of gold 25. Pop or Rock? i grew up on steve miller and journey from my mom and simon & garfunkel from my dad 26. Dancing or singing? all i can think of is my shitty karoke the other night, so uh dancing, at least i don’t suck more at that when im drunk 27. Checkers or chess? checkers is easier and i could probably actually win, but chess is more likely to hold my attention 28. Board games or video games? we used to do family board game nights (im currently holding the winnign streak for clue because any games played without everyone dont count) (my extended family is also obsessed with card games, its how we bond, we talk shit and play cards) 29. Wine or beer? wine if i have to have one of these, i dont like fizzy stuff ever so no beer but wine dries out my mouth 30. Freckles or dimples? i have freckles, and i love it when people have dimples 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? i guess bbq 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? idk what body weight exercises includes but i have always liked lifting weights, its something im fairly good at 33. Baseball or basketball? BASEBALL IS THE BEST I LOVE IT, i miss playing it so much but its been too long for me to feel comfortable joining an intramural team 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? sudoku...i think 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? preference right, um stubble.... im not big on full beards (probs cuz my dad has always had one, seriously pics from when he was 20 we are the exact same but he has a beard, he says he hasnt shaved his upper lip since he was 16) clean shaven is nice too tho 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? i prefer no ice, but if i have to i like that ice you get in hospital cafeterias 37. Skiing or snowboarding? never been 38. Smile or game face? smirking, its the happy medium 39. Bracelet or necklace? i feel naked without any piece of my jewelry (watch on right wrist, a bracelet on my left, a necklace for me to fidget with, both sets of earrings) 40. Fruit or vegetables? fruit 41. Sausage or bacon? bacon 42. Scrambled or fried? scrambled unless its on toast 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? dark chocolate 44. Tattoos or piercings? i have two sets of piercings and i just got my first tattoo last month 45. Antique or brand new? antique unless its something i would feel like i couldnt be comfortable using, i always wind up with a very eclectic mix 46. Dress up or dress down? dress down, never really have a reason to dress up 47. Cowboys or aliens? cowboys, space gives me anxiiety 48. Cats or dogs? dogs 49. Pancakes or waffles? depends on who is making the pancakes 50. Bond or Bourne? uhhhh what 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? fantasy 52. Numbers or letters? letters 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? lotr tbh 54. Fair or theme park? fair, i grew up in puyallup (look it up, i can even sing the old theme song) 55. Money or fame? money, i want to buy my parents and aunt nice things 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? laundry (no icky wet food pieces!) {this is what @trevorfindsthestrals had i just could not have said it any better myself} 57. Snakes or sharks? ummm snakes? cuz theyre smaller and i can run from them if theyre dangerous 58. Orange juice or apple juice? orange 59. Sunrise or sunset? sunsets seem more satisfactory to me 60. Slacker or over-achiever?.....i dont’ know how to answer this question 61. Pen or pencil? pencil, unless im worried about it smudging, then i bought some erasable pens for that 62. Peanut butter or jelly? peanut butter is more filling but i make jam every year so theres that 63. Grammys or Oscars? oscars 64. Detailed or abstract? why cant we do both, like a painting that is overall abstract but the closer you get the more you see the things that make it what it is, ya know, like life 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? idk multiple choice questions are harder to get wrong for not having enough info about a particular topic, but im good at and enjoy bsing things 66. Adventurous or cautious? i wish i was more adventurous but insecurities 67. Saver or spender? yes 68. Glasses or contacts? i dont wear either 69. Laptop or desktop? laptop 70. Classic or modern? what medium 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? i would like a personal trainer until i get back in the habit of it and then i would jsut need a gym buddy 72. Internet or cell phone? cell since you cna get internet on your phone 73. Call or text? social anxiety so texting  74. Curly hair or straight? mine is beach wavy 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? ive been showering in the morning because i like what it does to my hair 76. Spicy or mild? spicy please 77. Marvel or DC? wonder woman was my first favorite character, like about the time that bugs life came out because i obviously had two and the other was Flick  78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? rent, i like assurance but i dont like permanence 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? never been but uh im not that trusting so i probably am jsut gonna go with a no 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? chewy chips ahoy 81. Jello or pudding? jello 82. Truth or dare? im a chicken so truth 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster, ferris wheels are all of the fear with none of the fun 84. Leather or denim? I NEED BOTH I CANT CHOOSE 85. Stripes or solids? stripes and fat people lol no, solids for me 86. Bagels or muffins? bagels probably 87. Whole wheat or white? whole wheat 88. Beads or pearls? pearls, my mother was a jeweler for 13 years, i cant not 89. Hardwood or carpet? hard wood in a hall, tile or linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom and then carpet everywhere else 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? uhhhh for what, cuz it really depends  91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? i want to be like 34, not rn obviously, im enjoying being 20 and stupid, but i feel like 34 is a good age, of course thats abotu how old my bros were when i idolized them so that might be reflective of that 92. Raisins or nuts? raisins, partially because every time my dad sees nuts he says nuts for the nutty and it has become a conditioned response for me now 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? picnic 94. Black leather or brown leather? brown 95. Long hair or short hair? mines somewhere in the middle 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? wtf does the second even mean 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction 98. Smoking or non-smoking? i have asthma 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? i wish i could think before i talk more than i actually do 100. Asking questions or answering questions? i like to listen to people imma tag: @kiavachiisanoob @warriorsatthedisco @colecast1 and anyone lookinng for an excuse to do one of these
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