#everyone was so phenomenal even the audience was so enthusiastic

[myfairkatiecat]

LOTR Musical Chicago Experience (according to Katie)

I GOT TO SEE THE LORD OF THE RINGS MUSICAL IN CHICAGO! As promised, here’s a blog post detailing my experience, my opinions on the characters/plot portrayal, and basically everything else I’m still rotating in my brain after seeing it last night.

Audience Member Experience

After coming in off Navy Pier and into the theater (Navy Pier was cool too but that’s not why we were there), I started seeing Lord of the Rings fans. Some people even came in costume, which was fun. As we got closer to the beginning of the show, it got harder to tell cosplayers apart from actual actors cause… the actors were just there. Walking around, greeting the people, saying hello…

The show began at seven. At about 2 minutes til 7:00, they really began interacting. Our seats were on the main floor near the center, and Bilbo Baggins came out right in front of us, asking some of the people, “Who’s here for my birthday party?” we all responded enthusiastically, and then he shouted so the whole theater could hear, “WHO’S HERE FOR MY BIRTHDAY PARTY??” Then the entire theater sang the happy birthday song to Bilbo Baggins and applauded, but that wasn’t even the beginning of the show. Hobbits were walking around playing games with the audience. I heard Frodo introduce himself to some people behind us. Rosie was carrying around what I believe was a ring toss game.

At about four minutes after 7:00, the main character hobbits began to make their way from the audience and onto the stage, while ensemble members stayed throughout the audience to create the sense of really being there with them in the Shire. The Hobbits greeted each other, gave each other hugs, and everyone started playing instruments to indicate the beginning of the show.

I wouldn’t realize it until house lights finally went off, but they were still on through the whole first number! The actors looked like they were having a fantastic time. The prologue song was a rendition of the “Now and for Always” chorus sung by the hobbits, and then Bilbo said his iconic lines at his birthday party and ended up disappearing in a puff of smoke. When Bilbo said he was bequeathing everything to Frodo, this one actor far back in the audience started grumbling and telling everyone around him that was stupid, and I’m officially dubbing that guy Unidentified Sackville-Baggins Character.

After they began to tell the actual tale and Frodo’s journey began, the house lights finally turned off, and it was like, “oh, we were hanging out with hobbits in the Shire, and NOW we’re watching Frodo’s story after he leaves,” almost like we, the audience, were in the Shire the entire time.

The characters onstage played all of the music. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about that when I first heard about it at the watermill, but now having seen the show performed that way, it was AWESOME. It made everything feel very homey, like a story being told around a campfire, even though the effects for the epic parts were FANTASTIC (I’ll talk about that in a later part of the post).

The characters often showed the nature of their journey by trekking through the pathways in the audience. Act two began suddenly the the house lights going all the way off as Gollum suddenly appeared up in the audience, scurrying down and murmuring in the Gollum voice. (Sméagol’s actor was amazing, by the way. Amazing portrayal. 10/10.)

The audience interaction really made it feel like you were in the story, and it was absolutely so much fun. I could tell the actors agreed.

Casting and Character Portrayal

This is the casting we saw:

With the following cast update:

As you can see, Sam’s understudy played Legolas in the show I saw. He did a fantastic job. He kinda looked like a Sam to me? But that’s probably just because I saw that in the program. His acting was phenomenal and I could tell he was having a great time with the role (especially singing Lothlorien, which, of course. Singing that song is so much fun.)

The rivalry to friendship of Legolas and Gimli was portrayed fantastically. Both characterizations were spot-on and their catfighting from the very establishment of the Fellowship was very entertaining. While a lot of the show was understandably abridged from the original plot, leaving less room for a full development of the relationship, but their journey to understanding each other as friends was beautiful nonetheless, and one of the main things that stood out to me as far as the well-portrayed character development in the show.

Sam and Frodo were phenomenal. The portrayal of their relationship, the good parts and the bad parts, Frodo’s descent as the Ring affects him more and more paired with Sam’s unwavering loyalty—that was one of the things done best about the show. Sam embodied the role, and when he grunted in determination as he picked up Frodo to carry him over his shoulders, the entire audience burst into applause. It was such a wholesome moment because of how well their relationship was done.

Arwen and Aragorn’s romance was done about as well as I could have hoped for given the length of the show and how much of the rest of the plot was going on. It was sweet and given many moments, but there wasn’t tons of development there. However, it touched on the parts that were most important to the plot, and I definitely enjoyed them.

Merry and Pippin were chaotic and played amazingly. Nothing more to say there. Just. Fabulous. 🙃

Boromir!! They did my guy Boromir justice, from his initial hesitance, to the true development of why he sees the Ring as a possibility for good, to the unwavering way he cares for his people and their wellbeing, to the way his honor remained even in his worst moment… it was really good. His death scene made me cry. Aragorn holding Boromir as he died 😭 I don’t even remember their exact dialogue but I was like wow you might as well just kill me now 😢 I went from giggling at “GIVE ME THE RING wait no I didn’t mean it I’m sorry stay with me—“ (yes that was the exact wording he used) to absolutely sobbing over his death. YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME (they did it was in the books)

Galadriel… :/ okay so the actress was very talented. Like, insanely good. I just would have done Galadriel’s character differently, and I think she was done differently in other productions of this show. She was a powerhouse for sure, but her scrunched expressions on long notes and moments of growling and the way she walked were giving “sassy girlboss” which was fine but not really what I was expecting for her character. So… do with that what you will.

Arwen’s character was portrayed amazingly. She usually only showed up to be in love with Aragorn, which was unfortunate, but the way she was done by the actress was an absolute 10/10. She was so graceful and tender and strong-willed and beautiful and just. Arwen vibes.

I don’t even have anything to say about Sméagol/Gollum. Just… perfect. Amazing. I can’t even describe how well he did the character. Imagine Sméagol in your head and that’s him. The script also did justice to his internal conflict, which I appreciated so much!

Effects

They gave a strobe lights warning but they did NOT tell me they were going to be flashing lights right at my eyes 😭 if you’re sensitive to lights at all, just don’t go to see it. Take care of yourself.

That said, if you can handle it, it was AWESOME. During the “you shall not pass” scene, they had a black tarp waving near the ground with projections of fire on it. It created a seriously awesome lava effect. They were also flashing white lights directly into the audience during the whole thing, which I think was purposefully disorienting while Gandalf ended up disappearing.

The Shelob scene featured an ACTUAL GIANT SPIDER ONSTAGE. I mean not a live spider, it was a puppet I guess? I have no idea how they did it. But it took up the entire stage and it was terrifying. People with arachnophobia DO NOT LOOK.

The effects were genuinely awesome the entire show. I can’t do them justice with description, but the use of their set pieces and lights and fog genuinely made for a great stage fantasy experience.

Other Stuff

The show began right before 7:00 with the interaction as I mentioned before, and bows ended at 10:15. So the actual show was 3 hours, with a fifteen minute intermission.

The adaptation of the plot was very abridged, as I may have mentioned, because of entire the run time being the length of one LOTR movie (which is already a slightly abridged LOTR adaptation). Minor plot points/middle sized plot points were diminished in favor of major plot points and character development, which I think was appropriate for the medium. You could tell where the time skips were, of course—Frodo puts on the ring in the prancing pony and suddenly he’s been stabbed by the witchking and is recovering in Rivendell. And a lot of the plot of Return of the King that didn’t involve Sam and Frodo just vanished. But again, I wasn’t expecting a fully faithful adaptation of every plot point in three hours, and I truly believe the spirit of the Lord of the Rings was captured in this production.

Some of the best and most famous quotes were done basically word for word, which I really appreciated. I did feel like I was immersed in the world of Tolkien’s books, with a dash of the Peter Jackson movies and lots of really well composed music.

If you have any specific questions about my experience at the show, certain scenes or songs, etc, send me an ask or a DM because I could absolutely continue to talk about this show. I’m in love with it and I’m so lucky that I got to see it. If any of you get the chance, I highly recommend it!

[bruhstation]

Yo Yo Yo! I wanted to chip in my two (Or ten) cents as it were. Don't listen to anybody that's trying to bring you down because you like Thomas The Tank Engine! It's way more than just a kid's show, and those that belittle it are too ignorant to see its beauty. There's a REASON it is still popular after what? 78 years??? Sure Awdry's intended main audience was children but he also had adults in mind as well. Thomas is so unique because it brings together people from many different backgrounds, it provides entertainment for children, engrosses rail enthusiasts and even catches the attention of historians and artists for its direct ties to historical moments in rail history and the beautiful hand drawn illustrations accompanying each Railway Series book! My own friends made fun of me for drawing thomas characters until they had to listen to my rambling enough that they actually got interested HAHAH I have accidentally converted a lot of people into the Thomas Fandom and its so wild!

I think I can speak for everyone in the community here by saying we really look up to artists like you! Your art is phenomenal and Casa Tidmouth is so unique, an inspiration for us all to get out of our comfort zones, come together, and geek out over something we enjoy

thank you for such nice words T_T you've put perfectly into words why I enjoyed this series in the first place. despite it all being about trains with faces set in a fictional island, there's "realistic" aspects of it that ties the series down in reality like the historical references, having the moral of the stories not shoved down children's throats, and so on..... and I'm glad so many people are really enjoying casa tidmouth because damn I would be mad lying if I didn't say this AU is making me happy too

[influencermagazineuk]

March Movie Madness: Must-See Films Captivating Audiences in 2024

As winter bids farewell and spring approaches, movie theaters are blooming with diverse and highly anticipated films. March 2024 promises a thrilling cinematic experience for every taste, from adrenaline-pumping action to heartwarming dramas and captivating fantasies. Here are some of the most awaited releases that are sure to set the box office ablaze: For the Sci-Fi Enthusiasts: - Dune: Part Two (March 15th): After the phenomenal success of the first installment, fans eagerly await the conclusion of Paul Atreides' journey in this epic space opera. Expect stunning visuals, political intrigue, and even more sandworms as the battle for Arrakis intensifies. - Spaceman (March 22nd): This captivating sci-fi drama starring Adam Driver follows an astronaut who embarks on a dangerous mission to a distant star system, grappling with isolation, loss, and the complexities of human connection in the vastness of space. For the Action Seekers: - John Wick: Chapter 5 - Excommunicado (Teaser Expected in March): Keanu Reeves returns as the legendary assassin in another action-packed chapter. This time, John Wick faces new enemies and deadly challenges as he seeks vengeance and redemption within the ever-dangerous world of assassins. - Ghostbusters Frozen Empire (March 29th): The iconic Ghostbusters are back, facing a chilling new threat as they battle a monstrous entity connected to a long-forgotten chapter of New York City's history. Expect a blend of nostalgia, humor, and thrilling ghost-busting action. Image: IMDb For the Animation Aficionados: - Kung Fu Panda 4: The Paws of Destiny (March 8th): Po and the Furious Five return in this highly anticipated animated sequel. This time, they face a formidable new villain who threatens the peace of the Valley of Peace, forcing Po to discover a hidden reserve of strength and wisdom. - Imaginary (March 30th): This heartwarming animated adventure tells the story of a young girl who discovers a magical pencil that allows her drawings to come to life. As her imaginary creations become entangled with the real world, she learns valuable lessons about friendship, acceptance, and the power of imagination. For the Thrill Seekers: - Love Lies Bleeding (March 8th): This neo-noir thriller starring Kristen Stewart and Katie O'Brian follows a reclusive gym manager who becomes entangled in a dangerous relationship with an ambitious bodybuilder. As their bond deepens, dark secrets and hidden motivations come to light, leading to a suspenseful and shocking climax. - The Animal Kingdom (March 15th): This psychological thriller explores the dark side of human nature. Set in a dystopian future where humans are hunted for sport, a group of survivors must fight for their lives while questioning the morality of their actions in a world gone mad. Beyond the Blockbusters: - Frida (Amazon Prime Release - March 14th): This biographical drama delves into the life of the iconic Mexican artist Frida Kahlo, exploring her tumultuous personal life, passionate artistic journey, and unwavering spirit in the face of immense challenges. - 1992 (March 15th): This powerful drama explores the events surrounding the 1992 Los Angeles riots following the Rodney King verdict. Through diverse perspectives, the film sheds light on the social and racial tensions that erupted in the city, sparking important conversations about justice, equality, and the path towards healing. This is just a glimpse into the exciting cinematic landscape of March 2024. With such a diverse range of films catering to various interests, there's something for everyone to enjoy. So, grab your popcorn, dim the lights, and prepare to be transported to new worlds, captivated by compelling stories, and thrilled by the magic of cinema. Read the full article

[heloiseattheplaza]

.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Pattinson

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!reader

Synopsis: Tom gets jealous when you reveal your celebrity crush on Robert Pattinson

Masterlist

“Okay I saw these on Tik Tok and I had to get them for you.” Zendaya grinned as she slid a small black box towards you.

“What is it?” You eyed her skeptically as you accepted the box.

“Just open it and look.” She smiled and rubbed her hands together.

“No.” You gasped as you opened the box. “Team Edward underwear?”

You picked up a pair of lacy black paintings and held them out in front of you. The phrase “Team Edward” was stitched in bold white letters right over the crotch.

“Oh my God.” You burst into laughter. “What are these?”

“They’re just panties.” She said innocently. “I thought you’d like them.”

“I do but I cannot wear this around Tom.” You laughed and set them down. “He’ll think I’m insane.”

“Them wear them when he’s away.” She shrugged.

“I cannot believe you bought these.” You shook your head at her. “Or that someone made them. Or that I want to wear them more than anything.”

“See?” She smiled proudly. “I knew you’d like them.”

“I do.” You admitted. “But Tom can never know they exist.”

You put the panties away in your drawer that night and forgot about them. It wasn’t until a few weeks later when you were a guest on the Graham Norton show that your love of Twilight was brought up once again.

“Now, Y/n, I hear you’re a big Twilight fan.” Graham began.

“Yup. Last time I checked.” You nodded, purposefully quoting Jacob Black.

“Are you really?” Graham giggled.

“I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen those movies.” You shook your head. “Especially the first one. Everyone few months I just sit down and shot gun the series.”

“Were you Team Edward or Team Jacob?”

“Team Edward all the way.” You said immediately. “This is so embarrassing, but I used to leave my window open when I was in middle school so Edward could come in.”

“That’s some dedication.” Graham laughed. “Did he ever come?”

“No. He never did.” You pouted. “13 year old me was really disappointed.”

“I hear you even got a tattoo.” Graham raised his eyebrows, making you hide your face in shame.

“I do.” You laughed behind your hand. “I got too drunk halfway through Eclipse and got a tattoo.”

“You have to show us.” Graham insisted.

“Okay but don’t laugh.” You laughed in defeat and rolled up your sleeve. You held your arm out to the camera, showing off your tattoo that read “Robert Pattinson” in tiny letters on your arm. The audience and Graham laughed at the randomness at the tattoo as your face heated in embarrassment.

“Look at this, it’s not even Twilight related”. Graham laughed. “It’s just Roberts name.”

“I wanted to get to the point.” You shrugged, earning some laughs.

“Why this font?” He wondered as he stared at the tattoo.

“It’s helvetica.” You deadpanned, making Graham cover his face with his cards as he laughed.

“It looks like you’ve just typed this out on the computer.” He pointed out.

“I was drunk.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “And it felt right in the moment.”

“You’ve never met Robert, right?” Graham asked. “You haven’t showed this to him?”

“No, I’ve never met him”. You sighed dramatically. “And he will never see this tattoo.”

“Well then you better cover it up.” Graham said as he looked behind him. “Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Pattinson.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked behind Graham as Robert Pattinson came out from back stage. He was in a navy suit, looking as beautiful as ever as he walked towards the couch.

“Oh My God.” You covered your face with your hands as the audience became deafening. You could hear Robert and Graham greeting each other over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. Slowly, you took your face away from your hands and sheepishly looked up.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Rob.” Robert smiled as he looked down at you.

“Hi.” You smiled weakly as you stood up. Robert shook your hand and kissed your cheek to say hello, making you die on the spot. You let go of him and sat down on the couch, never taking your eyes off Robert.

“This is…” Graham gestured to you a few times, reminding you to say your name.

“Y/n. Sorry.” You blinked a few times. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m a big fan.”

“Are you?” Robert asked as he sat down. “You a Twilight fan?”

“No, I haven’t seen it.” You lied as you collected yourself.

“You just said-“

“I love all your other movies though.” You cut Graham off. “I really admire your work. Your acting is phenomenal.”

“Thank you.” Robert smiled at you. “I’ve seen some of your work as well. I’m always very impressed.”

“Are you?” You squeaked.

“I am.” Robert chuckled. “You’re very talented. I hope we get to work together someday.”

“I’m surprised you two haven’t met before.” Graham cut in. “Y/n, Rob was in a movie with your boyfriend, wasn’t he?”

“With my what?” You asked as you stared starstuck at Robert.

“Your boyfriend.” Graham repeated as the audience laughed. “Tom Holland?”

“Right.” You laughed awkwardly as you continued to stare at Robert. “Him.”

“Yeah, we were in a movie together a few years ago.” Robert answered. “And we’re going to start filming another one soon. It’s called the Devil All The Time.”

“Right.” You remembered. “He told me about it. I was so jealous that he’s getting to work with you for a second time.”

“I’m sure you and I will share the screen one day. Playing lovers, perhaps.” Robert joked as he nudged you.

“Perhaps.” You squeaked.

“We’re gonna cut to commercial.” Graham announced. “More with Robert Pattinson and Y/n L/n after the break.”

After the interview, you ran back to your dressing room with a huge smile. You had not stopped smiling since Robert had walked out on stage. You walked into your dressing room and saw Tom sitting on your couch, making you let out a squeal.

“Ahh! Did you see me?” You gushed. “Did you see me with Edward?”

“Edward?” He chuckled as he hugged you. “You mean Robert Pattinson?”

“Yeah. Him.” You clapped your hands. “He shook my hand and kissed my cheek. I almost passed out. I’m in love with him.”

“I didn’t realize you were such a big fan.” Tom laughed awkwardly as you danced around the room.

“Are you kidding me? I’ve been in love with that man for over ten years now. I’m never washing my hand again.” You held out the hand he shook. “Or my face. God, he’s so beautiful.”

“Yeah. I’ve seen him.” Toms smile slowly faded. “We worked together, you know.”

“I know. You’re so lucky.” You sighed. “Did you hear him saw he wanted us to play lovers in a movie? Can you imagine if that actually happens?”

“No.” Tom said flatly. Before you could notice his indifference, someone knocked at your soon.

“Op. Someones at the door.” You said as you twisted the handle. You opened the door to reveal Robert leaning against your doorframe, knocking the air out of your chest.

“Hello again.” Robert smiled at you.

“Rob!” You stammered in surprise. “Hi.”

“Nice to see you again, Tom.” Robert said as he looked behind you. “How you been, mate?”

“I’ve been good. You?” Tom asked as he stood beside you. He wrapped a protective arm around your shoulders, not liking how fond you were of his former costar.

“Can’t complain.” Robert shrugged. “I’m excited to start filming though. I’ve been working on the accent but I’m not sure I’ve gotten it yet.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great.” You told him. “You’ve done great accents before.”

“Thank you.” He winked at you. “You should come to visit us once we start filming. I’d love to see you again.”

“Of course.” You nodded repeatedly. “I’ll be there.”

“Great.” Robert grinned. “I’ll let you guys get back to it. Bye.”

“Bye.” You enthusiastically waved to him.

“Oh, and Y/n?” Robert said before walking away.

“Yes?” You asked hopefully.

“Close your windows.” He joked, calling back to your story from before. You felt your face heat up and gave him an embarrassed smile before nodding.

“I will.” You told him. Robert firmly squeezed your shoulder before walking away. As soon as you shut the door, you let out a scream and jumped up and down.

“Did you hear that?” You asked Tom. “We have an inside joke. Edward Cullen and I have an inside joke.”

“You do know his name is Rob, right?” Tom said, less than amused. “Not Edward.”

“He’s Edward to me.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “I’ve never been this close to getting a vampire boyfriend. Ah, I’m so happy.”

“You already have a boyfriend.” Tom reminded you as he slumped on your couch. First he had to watch you and Robert fawn over each other on Graham’s couch, and now you wouldn’t stop talking about him. Tom was more than jealous at this point and it was starting to get to him.

“I know.” You chuckled as you sat beside Tom and laid your head on his shoulder. “And I love you. Even if you’re not a vampire.”

“Wow. Even if?” He chuckled sarcastically as he wrapped an arm around you. You leaned up to kiss him, making him feel better. You may be a fan of Robert, but Tom was the one you were kissing.

~

As promised, Tom brought you with him to the set of The Devil All The Time. He left you in his trailer early in the morning when he left to film, but you were nowhere to be found by the time he returned at the end of the day. Tom pouted when he found his trailer empty and went for a walk around the set to try and find you. When you didn’t turn up in any of the places he checked, he returned to his trailer in defeat.

“Darling?” Tom asked as he walked into his trailer. “Are you in here?”

“Where the hell you been, loca?” You asked as you threw your arms around Tom.

“What?” Tom laughed as he hugged you back, just happy to have found you.

“It was a Twilight reference.” You explained before kissing him hello. “I’ve been trying so hard not to make them around Edward all day.”

“You’ve been with Rob all day?” Tom pulled away, his mood dropping quickly.

“Uh huh.” You nodded in excitement. “I was helping him run lines in his trailer. Can you believe he asked me to help him?”

“Good for you.” Tom grumbled as he flopped down on his couch.

“What’s wrong?” You asked when you noticed Toms tone.

“Do you have feelings for this guy or something?” Tom asked. “Cause it’s starting to seem like you’d rather be with Rob.”

“What?” You laughed. “Tommy, don’t be silly. Of course I don’t have feelings for Rob.”

“Really?” Tom raised an eyebrow. “Because you’ve spent all days running lines with him instead of me, your boyfriend. When he’s around, he’s all you talk about Y/n. And I remember you saying you were in love with him multiple times.”

“I’m not in love with him, silly.” You insisted as you took a seat on his lap. “I’m in love with Edward Cullen. He was my comfort character growing up. I didn’t have a lot of friends in school, so I read books. Sometimes, it was nice to pretend a gorgeous vampire was willing to risk the Volturi to be with you.”

“The what?” Tom asked.

“It’s like the Vampire Supreme Court.” You replied.

“The what?” Tom repeated.

“Oh, right. British.” You remembered. “They’re just the most powerful vampire coven, okay? They make all the rules. You’d know them if you saw them. It’s Charlie Seen and that bitch from Cat in the Hat.”

“What does this have to do you liking Rob?” Tom whined.

“Right, sorry.” You waved your hand in dismissal. “I don’t have feelings for Rob. I don’t even know him. I’m just projecting the character I loved growing up onto the actor who played him. You’re telling me you didn’t geek out the first time you met RDJ?”

“I did.” Tom admitted.

“Exactly. He was your childhood hero and Edward was mine. That’s all this is.” You smiled and patted his cheek. “Nothing to worry about, Tommy.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Tom pouted and rubbed your back. “I shouldn’t have accused you of anything.”

“It’s okay. I can see why you got a little jealous. I have been talking about him a lot.” You admitted. “But I promise you, when I look at him, all I see is Edward. Just straight up baseball uniforms and spider monkies.”

“What the hell goes on in those movies?” Tom mumbled under his breath.

“Well, the last two are pretty much an abortion debate.” You began. “But they’re also about Bella being willing to die for that vampire dick.”

“In a vampire movie?” Tom wondered.

“Yeah. But the first one is a baseball movie.” You told him.

“What the fuck?” He whispered.

“You’d understand it if you saw them.” You shrugged.

“I don’t think I would.” He said skeptically.

“I also don’t think you would.” You realized. “But you’d finally understand why I call you my “monkey man” sometimes.”

“That’s a Twilight reference?” He gasped.

“Yeah. A lot of things I say are Twilight references.” You chuckled.

“Well if my darling loves them that much, I might have to give them a chance.” Tom smiled as he leaned in to kiss him.

“Mmm.” You hummed against his lips. “You wanna watch 10 hours of Twilight with me?”

“Absolutely not.” Tom laughed against your mouth. He slowly laid you down on the couch as he hovered on top of you, never break the kiss. The kiss got more heated as you gripped his shirt while his hands slid down to your pants. As his hangs found your zipper, you realized something terrifying.

“Oh no.” You gulped.

“Whats wrong?” Tom wondered as he pulled away.

“Um...” you gulped and looked down at your lap. “You’re not gonna want to do that.”

“Why?” Tom raised an eyebrow, eyes darting down to your zipper skeptically.

“Daya sent me underwear a while ago.” You began. “Um, special underwear.”

“Did she?” Tom smirked as he tugged the zipper down.

“Not that kind of special.” You quickly moved his hand. “It um, it has a slogan on it.”

“Okay?” Tom said slowly.

“You’re not gonna like it.” You told him, only making his curiosity grow. Tom looked at you curiously before tugging your pants down. You covered your face with your hands as he gasped in horror.

“Team Edward?” He yelled. “Your underwear says Team Edward?”

“It was all I had!” You protested as you tugged your pants back up.

“You’re telling me you happened to be wearing these the day you come to visit Rob on set?” Tom pointed an accusing finger at you.

“What are you implying?” You asked as you swatted his hand away. Tom ran his hands through his hair and gave it a stressful tug. He didn’t want to take his insecurity out on you, but the underwear had crossed a line.

“Did you think something was gonna happen between you guys?” He mumbled without looking at you.

“What?” You laughed in shock. “Do you seriously think I woke up this morning and thought “hm, might fuck Robert Pattinson today. Let me make sure I put on my underwear that references a character of his from ten years ago!””

“I don’t know!” He whined. “I can’t believe you’re wearing those.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it.” You laughed as he stormed out of the room. “Tommy, come back.”

“Why are you laughing?” He pouted, face still red from jealousy.

“Because you’re upset over my underwear.” You tried to hold back your laughter. “You know, you could solve this problem by taking them off.”

“No.” He stamped his foot. “You don’t want me. You want you Edgar Curtain and his killer vampire penis.”

“It’s Edward Cullen.” You corrected. “And yes, I do want that.”

“Oh my God.” Tom rubbed his face, making you laugh again.

“Edward would never treat me this way.” You teased. “He would have sex with me and then get scared that he hurt me so he just plays chess with me the rest of our honeymoon.”

“Would he now?” Tom seethed.

“Tommy, please calm down.” You chuckled as you cupped his face. “It’s just an unfortunate coincidence that I was wearing these. I promise, you don’t have anything to worry about. You’re the only one I want.”

“Really?” He asked skeptically as you stroked his cheek with your thumb.

“What can I say?” You smirked. “I’m Team Tom.”

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[yurimother]

The Best Yuri of 2020

2020 was hell in every way, and many of us are looking forward to new possibilities and advances in 2021. However, the year brought us many small moments and gifts worth celebrating. Among these, the explosive growth and change within the Yuri genre are among the most precious and most outstanding achievements. This second century of Yuri opened with a bang, as phenomenal new works, creators, and moments made their mark and helped change the future genre.

This annual list is a celebration of just a handful of the fantastic titles, people, and events in Yuri. There are likely some even greater ones that did not make the list because there is so much content in both English and Japanese that even I cannot keep up. However, among the troves of treasure, these titles stood out as shining examples of Yuri excellence. Some were released this year, others were recently adapted into English, and still, others are established titles that rose to prominence to dominate the conversation and my mind this year, but every one of them is worthy of being on this list and in your heart.

Here is the Best Yuri of 2020!

15: The Curse of Kudan Remastered

Japanese Yuri visual novel developers show no sign of slowing down as they continue to push to new heights and try new ideas. These are the same amazing people who brought us the delightful educational Yuri game The Expression Amrilato and the hilarious and surprisingly queer OshiRabu: Waifus Over Husbando’s. However, this most recent release, The Curse of Kudan Remastered, is their best work yet. Released near Halloween, this game brings a new edge of dark mystery and the occult to Yuri audiences worldwide.

The Curse of Kudan is available on MangaGamer, JAST USA, Denpasoft, and Sekai Project.

14: Adachi and Shimamura

English audiences were finally treated this year to Hitoma Iruma’s long-running and wildly successful Yuri light novel series, Adachi and Shimamura. Although the story struggles to gain traction, dedicated readers’ have their patience rewarded with a sweet tale full of gay pining. Alternatively, you can jump into its stellar anime adaptation, with gorgeous visuals and realized characters you will actually be willing to put up with the annoying Yashiro just to see where the title characters go. The series shows no sign of slowing down either, as the manga adaptation is coming to Western audiences next year.

Adachi and Shimamura is available to stream on Funimation. The light novel series is published by Seven Seas - https://amzn.to/3rTSZTK

Honorable Mention: Happy Go Lucky Days

The OVA adaptation of Fragtime got most of the attention this year. Still, director Takuya Satou and Pony Canyon also gave us this much-overlooked “love is love” anthology movie based on Takako Shimura’s manga (Sweet Blue Flowers, Wandering Son). The first short in the film, “Happy,” is easily the best Yuri anime of the year. It follows the beautiful yet realistic queer love story of two women hooking up at a mutual ex-girlfriend’s wedding, only for the relationship to blossom and warm viewers’ hearts. Sadly, while stylized, the budget demanded the animation cut a few too many corners. Additionally, the subsequent stories are at best tedious and at worst alarmingly problematic, which is why Happy Go Lucky Days only gets an honorable mention.

The OVA is streaming on HIDIVE

13: Mieri Hiranishi

The Yuri scene has many colorful creators with a breadth of different ideas and stories in the genre, yet few have provided as much humor and joy as Mieri. This talented creator spectacularly tumbled into the scene with her manga essay The Moment I Realized I Wasn’t Straight, which embodies the brutal honesty and realism of Nagata Kabi and matches it with exaggerated hilarity. She continues to chronicle her painful struggles of being a butch girl in love with butch girls in the monthly series The Girl that Can’t Get a Girlfriend. Alternatively, you can follow her on Twitter for just as much heart and laughter.

Read The Girl that Can’t get a Girlfriend on Tapas and Webtoon.

12: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

My Next Life as a Villainess has what can only be described as volcanic bisexual energy. Every character protagonist Catarina Claes encounters is entirely enthralled by her. Of course, she is far too preoccupied with her quest to avoid doom flags and change her ultimate fate to notice any romantic interest. The series is rewarding and well structured, as views are just as focused on how Catarina plans to avoid certain doom as they are with the various romantic misses her band of companions cooks up. While the “friendship ending” did not capitalize on its Yuri potential, it was perhaps the most satisfying possibility for this crazy harem, at least until season two comes out, which looks, unfortunately, to be significantly less queer.

My Next Life as a Villainess is streaming on Crunchyroll

11: Love Me for Who I Am

Kata Konayama’s manga series is less Yuri than a general LGBT work, but it has a lesbian character and explores her identity and struggles in great detail. Few titles before have captured the exciting and nervous waves of emotions that young people feel as they explore gender and sexual identities and try to find themselves. This heartfelt and extremely queer series rubberbands between cute moe dress up to tragic and gripping backstory, keeping readers on their toes the whole time.

Love me for Who I Am is published by Seven Seas - https://amzn.to/3rTSZTK

10: A Summer’s End – Hong Kong 1986

Oracle and Bone’s debut visual novel, A Summer’s End, is set in a vibrant and electric 1980’s Hong Kong. Drawing inspiration from classic Asian cinema, music, and fashion. The worlds of Michelle, a young office worker, and a free-spirited woman named Same collide. The two struggle to comprehend and accept each other��s feelings just as they struggle against society’s expectations and prejudices. An incredibly thoughtful and touching adventure, the creators incorporated vital contemporary elements include Asian LGBTQ rights and growing political unrest in Hong Kong, into this illustrious game.

The visual novel is available on Steam.

Honorable Mention: Goodbye, My Rose Garden

In the same vein as A Summer’s End, Goodbye, My Rose Garden is a beautiful period piece that incorporates LGBT views into its shattering narrative. The story follows a bright-eyed immigrant, Hanako, wanting to make a new life in England as an author at the dawn of the twentieth century. She takes a job as a maid to noblewoman Alice, but their relationship takes a turn when Alice asks Hanako to kill her. This poignant tale is beautiful and an honest depiction of love and its conflict with responsibility and society.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/3hFSyaG

9: Shio Usui

Usui’s hit Shaikaijin Yuri manga Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon could easily take this spot even though it is not even out in English until February 2021. The manga is already making waves and receiving constant praise. The characters and their journey to discover love and self-acceptance are as charming as they are relatable and grounded. However, it is the creator, Usui, who really deserves acclaim. Not just for their work on Doughnuts, but having a second serialized story, Onna Tomodachi to Kekkon Shitemita, in monthly Yuri magazine Comic Yuri Hime simultaneously. It is even more remarkable when you consider these two iconic stories are Usui’s first long-running works, as they only contributed one-shots before.

8: Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka

Bloom Into You is possibly the most iconic Yuri series in the past decade, and while the manga deserves its own place on this list, the best thing to come out of the series as a whole is easily the light novels. This trilogy by Adachi and Shimamura creator Hitoma Iruma dives deep into supporting cast member Sayaka. Readers are treated to a delightful journey as she discovers her sexuality, experiences heartbreak, and finally finds herself breaking free and falling in love. With the help of gorgeous illustrations by Nakatani Nio herself, Iruma masterfully captures Sayaka’s unique voice and emotions in this wonderful series. Whether a fan of the originals or not, every Yurijin must check out Regarding Saeki Sayaka.

The light novel series is published by Seven Seas - https://amzn.to/3hFSyaG

7: Our Teachers are Dating

The best a Yuri can get. This workplace romance follows two teachers at the start of a new relationship taking nervous yet enthusiastic first steps, including saying I love you, going on their first date, and even sleeping together. It is so heartfelt and salacious that readers will squeal the whole time. Additionally, our heroines are supported in their relationship by everyone they know, their students, colleagues, and even the principal. It is a perfect world for these two lovebirds! Our Teachers are Dating would easily be number one or two in any other year, but the competition is fierce in 2020. So even though this is only number seven, it is still a master class Yuri manga.

The manga is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/38XY3O9

6: Amongst Us

Who would have thought that a comedy alternative universe story spinoff of a fantasy action series would be the single best Yuri webcomic this year? Shilin’s astounding artwork illustrations the hilarious and irresistible journey of girlfriends Blackbird and Veloce. These two eccentric young women get into all kinds of everyday mischief that bounces between tender and touching romance, completely outrageous comedy, and downright thirst-inducing sorcery. Seriously, you should buy the first volume for Veloce’s back muscles alone. The storyline skips between time, but both their established relationship and their meeting as teenagers are adorkable and captivating.

Amongst Us is available online free on Webtoon and the comic’s website. The first volume is in paperback on Shilin’s site.

Honorable Mention: Éclair

There are a lot of Yuri anthologies out there, and they have done some beautiful things. Many focus on themes like Syrup. Others collect a series of stories by an author into one bound work. However, out of all of them, Éclair is the most successful. ASCII Media Works took some of the genre’s most extraordinary creators and let them do whatever they wanted, and the results are spectacular. The incredible talent behind Éclair somehow packs a full volume’s worth of story and character into just a few pages with every chapter. While the first volume came overseas a few years ago, Yen Press gave Yurijin a gift this year by releasing the entire rest of the series in which readers can get lost.

The anthology series is published by Yen Press - https://amzn.to/38XY3O9

5: I’m in Love with the Villainess

A small trend of isekai Yuri with villainesses emerged recently, and I honestly had few hopes of I’m in Love with the Villainess. The series is pretty popular, but I often find that this does not denote quality, and with isekai having some institutional issues, I suspected this would fall flat. Then the volume three cover showcased an incredible accomplishment, allowing for a lesbian relationship to blossom into a family with children, and it blew me away. Finally, I read volume one and realized that the series has incredible character, some of the best world-building I have ever seen in a light novel, thoughtful discussions of inequality and societal issues, and most impressively, open and frank discussion of queer identity and life Yuri has ever seen! This one is something special.

The series is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/3nedvdZ

4: The Last of Us Part II

Yes, I know this one is not Yuri and that a portion of the population despises this game and will likely be exceptionally angry at me for including it. However, I maintain that it was an incredibly challenging masterpiece. Naughty Dog did not take the easy route out and delivered one of the most devastating media experiences I have ever seen. As I said in my article about the game, playing it changed me, and it sticks with me to this day. The Last of Us Part II earns its spot on this list because it pushed boundaries more with LGBTQ inclusion than any other AAA game. From brave inclusion of LGBTQ themes to queer characters and storylines at its center, the game changes gaming and it will never go back.

The Last of Us Part II is available on PlayStation 4

3: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

She-Ra feels like the culmination of all the LGBTQ progress western cartoons have made over the past few years. From The Legend of Korra to Steven Universe, young people are finally seeing more LGBTQ people represented on the small screen. This epic fantasy concluded with an amazing and powerful lesbian romance, delivering on its queer promise and revolutionized representation in a trope-defying crescendo.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is streaming on Netflix

2:  The Conditions of Paradise

The greatest single Yuri work of all in 2020 was the English release of Akiko Morishima’s breakthrough manga, The Conditions of Paradise. Initially released in 2007, this anthology detailed the love between adult women. It was in every way a manga ahead of its time, and seeing it finally get a small piece of the recognition it deserves overseas is a true gift. The fact that we can own this legendary piece of Yuri history and Morishima’s other anthologies is nothing short of a blessing from the Yuri goddess.

The Conditions of Paradise is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/38bh4xq

Honorable Mention: Otherside Picnic

This eerie sci-fi horror series combines the best of pulse-pounding thrillers, complex and intelligent hard science fiction, and exciting Yuri romance. Author Iori Miyazawa spends as much time crafting a well-paced and intriguing narrative about a mysterious world where occult creatures roam as he does establishing two believable and grounded heroes in Sorawo and Toriko. The romance between the two may be slow to start, but their chemistry is undeniable and as the stakes and story build, so too does their relationship. Not only are the light novels incredible, but the series’ manga adaptation is coming soon to the West as well as an upcoming TV anime in early 2021.

Otherside Picnic is streaming on Funimation. The light novels are published by J-Novel Club - https://amzn.to/3niiv1g

1. Yuri subgenres

For a long time, Yuri was not a genre of its own, but elements of romances or bonds between women found in other works. Now, thanks to an increasing library of works, the advent of social media, and a wider audience, Yuri is a genre on its own, with many creators telling different stories in different styles. However, 2020 saw the continued emergence of something extraordinary, subgenres. Yuri is now so vast, we can actually categorize the works within. Depending on their characters, like classic schoolgirl romances or spicy shakaijin office affairs, their world, such as fantasy or isekai series and thrilling science fiction adventures, and even other elements within. One of my personal favorites is the feminist Yuri that emerges from titles like Sexiled, where women celebrate the accomplishments of other women and dismantle power structures stacked against them. Now, no matter what kind of Yurijin you are, there is something for you to love.

I am happy to leave 2020 behind, but I bring with me a renewed love and admiration for Yuri. 2021 looks to be a somehow even better year for the genre, and I am thrilled to experience every minute of it that I can. Yuri has transformed into something far greater than I ever thought it would be, and let us all enjoy its evolution and expansion together in 2021.

[countessofbiscuit]

cherry picked

Find yourself someone who looks at you like Lady RaRa looks at a Coruscant Guardsman. 

OCs with a side of Foxiyo. 1400 words. Teen. Also on Ao3. 

A Star Wars adaptation of this story. Happy Valentine’s Day!

♥ ♥ ♥

“Why is that on?” Fox asked upon coming in off the balcony. The new penthouse viewscreen was for sports, soaps, and stakes; the holonews offered none of that, and was garish and obnoxious besides. Who wanted to watch debacles and disasters in half time with inane commentary? Fox had his own HUD for that.

Jammy tried to stand up reflexively. Fox’s heavy hand on his shoulder told the captain he’d do better to stay casual and answer on his shebs. “Piers’s interview, sir — it’s supposed to air during the nine o’chron news.”

“Ah.”

Lieutenant Piers had been in the right place at the right time with the right face during the rehearsals for Republic Day, and had gotten tapped to escort a galactic pop star down some stairs. Fox hadn’t seen it live, having been stood below the Chancellor’s dais to take the salute. But he’d seen reams of cam footage since. And holos. So many heart-eyed holos.

The Senate Public Affairs office was always looking for quick wins for the army, but they had a PR endurance ruck on their hands with the Guard: door-kickers, boot-lickers, box-tickers, and generally unpopular. Piers had told Fox that Rugeyan happened to be standing nearby at the deciding moment, and that it’d been his idea to have a Corrie grunt to do the honors on this, the first wartime Republic Day.

But it was Lady RaRa who had the real flashbang of brilliance by asking Piers to remove his helmet for the cams and kissing a clone on both cheeks, before she stepped up to the mic to belt out the Republic anthem.

At least, that was the general opinion of the Guard, especially the gaggle gathering ‘round the screen.

Piers himself was absent that evening. His duties hadn’t ended when the spotlights cut out. After earning a reprieve from staff duty for a successful one-man rapid clear of the penthouse a couple weeks back, when his CO had been inbound with a very particular DV, he’d landed himself dignitary duty in the run up to the annual celebrations. Plum job or punishment, depending on your assignment of principals.

Fox was pouring out the last of the liquor he and Senator Chuchi had recently shared, unbelievably eager to see her again, when the opening bars of the “All Stars Burn as One” tinkled from the speakers and a great roar of excitement billowed from the lounge.

“Yesterday’s Republic Day celebrations at the Senate were distinctly martial in nature, as the Republic marked its 979th year and nine months of conflict with CIS forces,” began the HNE anchor. “One soldier, however, captured the attention and hearts of everyone when he gallantly escorted singer Lady RaRa before she sang the Republic anthem. One of our correspondents spoke with the clone trooper after the ceremony yesterday.”

Fox ambled over from the bar to get a view of the screen. It cut to some busy scene in the Dome portico. And there was the guardsman of the hour, running a hand through that damn hair of his, a finger’s breadth taller than regulation, and wearing his service medal — the one Fox had declined in favor of the junior officer who’d actually shot down that hijacked convict vessel and rescued the CSF officer with some quick-thinking and a jetpack. Fox had merely picked Piers and piloted the peppered pursuit gunship — a singular act for a marshal commander, but not exactly award-winning. Not outside Corrie’s atmo, certainly.

“Lieutenant Piers, tell us how you were chosen for the privilege of leading out Lady RaRa,” the reporter asked.

Piers had no formal media training, but he was a consummate soldier. Fox wasn’t too nervous. Besides, there was Rugeyan himself in the background, wonderfully breaking the fourth wall, staring alternately at the back of Piers’s head and at the reporter behind the cam as he listened in, finger in his ear, like the consummate dingbat he was.

“Well, they’d almost finished rehearsing for the function, when it was flagged to the MC that Lady RaRa would be wearing this very beautiful, very large dress,” Piers began. “And obviously, there was a concern — there are a lot of steps outside the Dome and she might need some help. And the MC looked ‘round and I was standing there, no helmet at the time, and I guess —” smirking a little into the cam — “he just liked the look of me. And there was some back-and-forth, ‘cause I wasn’t really supposed to be dressed for the occasion, I was just security. But since I was definitely one of the, uhh, taller and larger individuals around and sturdily dressed myself, they asked if I wouldn’t mind and I said I’d be happy to.”

Even if Rugeyan hadn’t fixed it, Piers had said there hadn’t been much competition for the honor: a bunch of interns, old civil servants, and some Blueys who weren’t impressive enough to be stationed in the visible parts of the ceremony. Still, as he’d been randomly shunted over from a command unit at decant and was one of Dodger’s gym groupies, he wore his armor very well.

“When did you first meet Lady RaRa?”

“About fifteen minutes before the ceremony.”

“You must have been nervous.”

“A little.”

“Were you familiar with her music? Any favorite songs?”

Piers’s reply was drowned out as the lounge audience enthusiastically offered up their own opinions. Maybe Lady RaRa was the key to really engaged briefings.

“Tell us your first impression of her.”

Piers bit his lip, charmingly. “Pretty. Kind. And funny — said we had an equal chance of tripping over her dress. That cut the ice pretty quick.”

“You said something to her in the doorway. What was that?”

“We’d been waiting up there a while and I felt her start to — well, she seemed a little nervous and it just seemed a natural thing to do, the right thing to do to reassure her, before the spotlights hit us.”

Fox smiled. Aristos, politicians, and celebrities all put their panties on one leg at a time — and sweated into them just the same. Delightfully. Fox knew, because he’d recently sucked a senator’s face and spread her skirt on the couch now crammed with soggy guardsmen.

“What did you tell her?” the reporter pressed.

“I said, ‘Hey, ma’am, you’re a great performer, really brilliant. You’ll do a cracking job. You always do.”

Various sounds of approval, some more crude than others, echoed this, and Piers was roundly urged to get in. The din only magnified when a holopic of The Kiss flashed up next to Piers’s head. Fox didn’t catch the next few seconds, as sergeants were finding it bloody difficult to silence other sergeants, but the lieutenant continued to smile and nod placidly at the volley of prodding questions which sought out his embarrassment. For the first guardsmen on HNE, he was doing pretty brilliantly himself. Speaking like he’d been there, done that, and bought the ashtray.

Eventually, the reporter could be heard again. “What did you think of her performance?”

“It was phenomenal. And her dedication to the troops at the start was very heartfelt. I hadn’t — no one had expected her to do that.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to share, lieutenant?”

“Yes. That I was really proud to represent the Republic Guard.” Fists punched the hushed air below Fox, but no one made a sound. Everyone wanted to hear this. “It was an honor and I hope I did my brothers proud with this one. Trillions of people have now seen Lady RaRa with a guardsman — with a clone.”

The lounge erupted. Piers would never have to pour another drink for himself in his short life. Red and whitejobs alike would be lining them up for klicks.

The anchor reappeared on screen. Fox was about to sew sky back to barracks when his compad vibrated: a haptic alert for time-sensitive messages. He popped his bucket on and pulled it up. A transfer request from Thorn. Apparently, Lady RaRa had been assigned DES for her trip home. And she’d enquired after Lieutenant Piers specifically.

Fox actually grinned. He approved the request immediately, gratified at this convenient and curious opportunity to return Piers’s favor. Her yacht was fucking luxe and it was a mighty long jump to Cantonica …

[inquartata30]

WIP Whenever, Fluff Part 1

tagged by @sky-ham for some fluff for understandable reasons

tagging @natsora and @1esk19 for more fluff

this is from a one shot set in The Scenic Route’s timeline, the one where they’re in the Milky Way, everyone’s alive, and there are no Reapers.

Lexi answered almost immediately. “Did you and Aella enjoy your time at the park?”

Thaia narrowed her eyes. Going to the park had been a spontaneous thing because her lab time had been usurped by some other ‘more important’ project. Instead of bothering with battling over a stupid power move, she’d opted to take her kid to Guildhall Park for a pickup skyball game and whatever else they could find.

Unfortunately, ‘whatever else’ had turned out to be trouble, which wasn’t an unusual occurrence when Thaia and Aella went places without, as Sula called it, adult supervision. But wasn’t that Thaia didn’t want Lexi to know what they were up to. It was because Lexi had been in a practical and Thaia hadn’t wanted to disturb her unless there was some kind of incident that required her help. If not, Thaia would simply tell her the entire story when she got home. Or someone else would’ve told her before she even got home because Thaia and her family knew way too many people in this part of Armali. 

Also, Aella had successfully scaled the monument to Matriarch Atapalai and her reward had been been them getting booted from the park and banned for the rest of the week and ‘maybe you should teach your child some decorum during that time.’

First of all, Thaia was pretty sure that the matriarch who’d had the tits to go out and find the first relay and then used the fucking thing within days because ‘fuck sitting around on my ass and being cautious like the rest of you’ would be completely fine with a kid climbing a statue dedicated to her. Cheer her on, even. 

Second of all, Thaia had wanted to see if Aella could get all the way to the top because it was pretty fucking high up. Then Aella had reached the top and Thaia had been too busy being proud as fuck to chase her down before a cluster of matriarchs got their panties in a twist over it.

So, to help them feel better after getting unjustly banned from the park for a week, Thaia and Aella had gone to the hobby shop. And now they felt better.

“Yes,” Thaia said to Lexi. “We did.”

Aella tried cramming a foot under the box. She immediately winced and went another route, trotting over to one of the trees lining the walkway. Little purple flower petals drifted down around her when she bumped into the trunk instead of stopping of her own volition like a normal person. Then she grabbed a good-sized stick, held it aloft with the petals still swirling around her, and ran back.

Lexi sighed. “I suppose I should be grateful no one was hurt.”

“I don’t know, Matriarch Agera got all worked up about a scuff mark on the statue. Maybe someone should examine her for a heart condition.”

“That mark was there before!” said Aella, working the stick under the box for leverage.

“It was.” Thaia shrugged even though Lexi couldn’t see her. “Anyway, I called to see if Harry was visiting Thessia and I didn’t know or if Karin was coming over at any point today.”

“I don’t believe so. Do I want to know why?”

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“Do I need to know why?”

“We’re fine, I promise. We just wanted to be sure. Okay, have a fun class, love you, bye!”

“Bye!” Aella echoed without interrupting her determined glare at the box. 

Thaia ended the call before Lexi could interrogate either of them since Lexi had gotten even better at interrogation since she’d started her clinical psych program and she’d already been phenomenal before that. Plus, neither Thaia nor Aella could lie to save their lives.

Thaia turned to her daughter, who’d given up on the stick and was now using all of her might to drag the box.

Successfully. Shit, her kid was strong. Freakishly strong, according to Celaeno. However, it was slow going and Thaia was admittedly excited about putting the model together with Aella. Sooner rather than later. And she hadn’t bargained on her kid being this fucking stubborn and being able to move the box enough where they were actually making forward progress.

Incremental forward progress.

“You sure you don’t want help?” Thaia asked.

Aella stopped, put her hands on her hips, and glared up at Thaia. “I can get it!”

“Okay, okay.” Thaia held up her hands in surrender. “I won’t ask again.” She also had to hide a laugh because for all Aella shared a similar bone structure to Thaia, that fucking glare had been all Lexi. Seeing it on someone so small was funny as fuck.

The next twenty-seven minutes—Thaia kept track—were spent with Aella grumbling and grunting as she pushed and pulled the box along the strip of sidewalk leading from the Kepeia District to Palla Square. During that time, Thaia also drew several amused or annoyed looks from onlookers and, really, the annoyed ones could just fuck off. Obviously, they’d never had to deal with spectacularly stubborn child. In the the stone-paved area outside the complex’s entrance, the sharp scent of ozone hung in the air. Thaia couldn’t hear the snaps of biotics or shouting that accompanied playing, so practice must’ve been over for the day.

As Aella stopped to catch her breath and Thaia silently wished she’d just give up and let her carry the box, members of Armali’s team began exiting through the complex gates, some pausing to sign autographs for enthusiastic younger fans. From behind a couple clusters of sizable backfielders emerged a comparatively pint-sized player whom Thaia and Aella immediately recognized.

Fejla Na’vis, who’d been their reliable source of skyball tickets for almost seven years; who’d obtained a pass for Thaia to attend a one week long pro-level skyball camp a month before Aella was born; and who, along with Harry, was Lexi’s best friend of decades.

The only reason Thaia hadn’t known about Fej during the two years she was being a dumbass about Lexi was because Fej was a pro player for Armali Union, Thaia’s favorite skyball team ever, and Lexi had—rightly—suspected that Thaia would  react with an undue amount of enthusiasm should she ever meet Fej.

She had. But during the months before Aella had been born and especially after their unintentionally galaxy-spanning misadventure shared with Nef, a black-market body part, and a stack of ancient krogan data-readers, they’d become excellent friends. And Thaia had mostly stopped being a completely over-enthusiastic fan. 

With the exception of playoffs.

“Auntie Fej!” Aella dropped the box and sprinted toward Fej, practically slamming into her for a hug and almost smashing Fej’s nose with her forehead in the process. Luckily, Fej was able to dodge the head blow.

Shit, if Aella’s forehead was a threat to Fej’s nose, that meant she was already catching up to Fej in height. Thaia did her best not to laugh. It wasn’t fair that Aella was on the ridiculously tall side for an asari six-year-old and Fej was on the decidedly small size for an asari adult. Given another couple years, Aella would probably be able to look her in the eye.

“What’ve you got there?” Fej asked, pointing at the box after Aella let go. 

“We got a model relay!” Aella ran back to the box and demonstrated her dragging technique. “Look, I can carry it by myself!”

After observing Aella move the box a whole-ass third of a meter in five minutes, Fej placed her duffel bag on the grass and smiled. “Wow, it’s almost as big as me! I bet you’re excited to get it home. Do you want some help carrying it? I’m going in the same direction for a bit, so I don’t mind.”

Thaia waited for the ‘determined Lexi glare’ to appear on Aella’s face like it had when she’d offered to help. 

It fucking didn’t. Instead, Aella grinned and said, “Yes, please!”

“What the fuck,” Thaia said, mostly under her breath.

When Fej stood next to her, Aella looked between her and the box and back again. Then she scratched her chin and did it again. After a third time, she said to Fej, “I bet I can pick you up.”

Fej opened her mouth, closed it, and then after thinking it over for a moment, shrugged. “You know what? Give it a try.”

Aella immediately crouched and grabbed Fej around the knees.

Fuck, she’d figured out the best method to pick up someone bigger than her. She might actually do it. Thaia hurriedly activated her omni. This needed to be recorded for posterity.

After setting her feet, Aella lifted with all her tiny might. Face flushed a darker blue and her legs trembling with the effort, Aella got Fej a good ten or so centimeters off the pavement before she lost her balance and fell backwards. Fej, possessing the body awareness and quick reflexes of a pro ballplayer, flipped in the air and landed on her feet while catching Aella with biotics the same time.

“I did it!” Aella announced, triumphantly raising her arms in the air.

The startlingly large audience they’d collected during Aella and Fej’s stunt gave the two a round of applause. Thaia had the best fucking kid.

“That was hard,” said Aella, shaking out her arms. “I don’t think I can carry the box the rest of the way home.”

Fej gave the top of Aella’s crest a fond rub. “I’ll still help you.”

“Good, because Daddy didn’t help me on our way here.”

Okay, maybe not the best kid.

“The fuck,” Thaia said, loud enough for the others to hear.

[chibimyumi]

Hi

I hope you're doing well

I have questions if you don't mind

Who do like Axel von Fersen in Marie Antoinette or Axel von Fersen in 1789 les amants de la bastille and also do you like Marie Antoinette in Marie Antoinette or in 1789 les amants de la bastille

Thank you for answering my questions

Dear Anon,

I am doing well, thank you very much! I hope you too.

Hmmm, as a quick answer I would say I prefer both Marie and Fersen from ‘Toho MA’, but the full answer is slightly more complicated.

Firstly, it is almost unfair to compare them to each other because in MA they are the main characters, whereas in 1789 they are main-support or secondary-mains at best.

Secondly, MA has a far bigger focus on the characters because that is what drives the plot, while the opposite is true for 1789, which mainly sells a spectacle. I myself am more fan of subtle and deep story-telling rather than spectacular shows, so the MA versions of Marie and Fersen are more to my liking.

Thirdly, the quality of the characters also depends greatly on the cast. My first view of MA is the A-cast, and therefore my impression of the characters is that they are incredibly well written. After comparison with other casts however, I started to wonder whether it was just the A-cast being too good, and the musical itself being ‘fine’. (In short; I’m not fully sure how much I’d ‘clearly’ have preferred MA Marie and Fersen were it not for A-cast. Click here for a comparison between the two casts written by my friend @wildandwhirlingwords)

But, I shall go into more detail for both characters why MA’s version appeals more to me - someone who enjoys character writing most.

🌹Marie Antoinette🌹

M.A. 2018

In my opinion Marie Antoinette is better in MA because you see her journey and her motivations. We all know that the historical Queen screwed up majorly, but in MA we see why, and in what ways she indeed had very little other choice from her own perspective. She was a flawed foreign woman in a time and place where flawed foreign women were hated most.

In the beginning of the musical the King comes tell Marie that she’d have to live more economically. Marie is clearly not very enthusiastic to hear that, but she also never protests. She just asks ‘why’ and then accepts the answer - albeit broodingly. More importantly however: we need to keep in mind that despite being called Madam Deficit, the historical Marie Antoinette was actually quite economical at first because the Austrian court where she comes from was way less extravagant than the French. It was after her marriage into French royalty that she became more extravagant, because she was criticised for “not being a proper royal” by the French. According to the court, the 14 year old Marie was “a peasant unworthy of becoming Queen.” When you’re that young and criticised by your entire new life, you do everything in your power to make sure you can actually have a life; you adapt. So when Marie was then suddenly told to stop ‘adapting and be a proper Queen worthy of the French”, we can see why more is at stake than “Karen needs to deal with only 10 dresses a week.”

Something else that adds depth to her character as opposed to her 1789 counterpart is that as the story progresses, Marie actually grows. She becomes more mature and more serious, and you see in her how all the events have a clear toll on her. From her own perspective, she really was trying very hard, but anything she tried was inadequate to improve the situation. What she didn’t know is that no matter how hard she tried, the situation was already un-salvageable before she was even born. The populace AND the court had already decided to hate her for being an unintelligent foreign woman from an enemy state, after all. This is an insight most historians nowadays agree on.

In a later scene where Margrid confronts Marie, she asks the Queen: “what makes you think you are better than us?” Marie confirms nor denies, but replies: “I am merely Queen as I was appointed by God.” When she adds: “All I know is duties, you are free,” there is also a clear sense she genuinely doesn’t know why she was appointed by God, but as she is now, all she can do is her best. She is still ignorant, which was a genuine problem about her. She does not know the hardships of not being from the top rank, allowing her say something as insensitive as: “at least you’re free.” But again, despite her ignorance, her feelings are sincere. From all the unfair expectations she was made to live up to from age 14, you really do see why ‘a life without duties’ seemed so much more appealing to her.

1789 - The Lovers of the Bastille

Marie in 1789 is more of a side-character, and the musical itself just is not very character/story driven as MA is. 1789 has the tendency to take the tropiest of tropes and stay on surface level with the characters. Ouki Kaname is an incredibly good actress and she tries her best; but she cannot do more than the script gives her to work with.

In this musical Marie is not portrayed in a very relatable or sympathetic light. She is extravagant because she has escapist fantasies, but we don’t really see what she’s escaping from. The sympathy from the audience is supposed to be drawn from the tragedy that she’s married to the King but is in love with Fersen. Oh, and she has a son but he’s mortally ill. Meanwhile however, you don’t see how her life is so bad she needs to escape... and you also don’t see Marie really being worried about her son than an occasional: “Oh Ill again? Sucks I guess. Gotta cry my eyes out on my lover’s lap, AHHH FERSEN 💗” It was not until her son had already died that Marie woke up, but the lack of portrayal of Marie’s perspective and the pacing really makes one legitimately wonder whether the child did not just die of Marie’s neglect. And about the forbidden love ...we’ve seen enough love triangles with star-crossed-lovers... I don’t know about you guys, but I am numbbbbb to this “problem”.

When Marie receives message from Olympe that she finally gets to meet her lover after a long separation at the Palais Royal, one of the first things she says is: “is that not the place where revolutionaries and prostitutes are gathered?” This immediately sets up an empathy-barrier between her and the common people. This Marie clearly views herself too good for people who do anything to get by; why would you care about her then? Because Marie’s story is not fleshed out you don’t see parts that can make you go: “oh, the revolutionaries really hate her for reasons beyond her control, she is in danger.” Or “she was raised by a puritan society, making her hate on sex-workers; that’s part of her character flaw.” Instead it’s just this Diva being quite judgemental.

Ouki was trying very hard to make the focus about her own safety, but with the script being what it is... she’s still a mostly unsympathetic character who is a martyr of forbidden love.

There is one scene where we see her take on a much more mature and responsible role. That was the first time I personally felt like Marie from 1789 is an actual human being with feelings and personal difficulties. But in great part this is Ouki’s acting... (the other cast didn’t do much for me). What is also important is that Marie was ‘humbled’ because her son died. Marie did not have much of a personal growth, and then she changes to a more sympathetic person because of an external factor just... feels less earned.

In the finale Marie appears again in her execution clothes, and the way Ouki appeared really felt like a punch in the gut. She sings “as a recompense for our griefs, people have learnt forgiveness.” However, the story skimped over the characters so much I was left to wonder: “who learned to forgive whom?” Do you think the people forgave you? Or was there somebody you hated but now learned to forgive? What was your grudge? Do you understand the angry mob’s grudge?

The finale of the musical treats like after the heroic sacrifice of the protagonist (Ronan) the oppressive monarchy was replaced by a good democracy, and a Reign of Terror will DEFINITELY not happen under Robespierre or something. But if you’ve had a BIT of European history you just know it’s a blatant lie. So the finale just feels too simplistic, and this simplistic feeling was in part presented by Marie’s very empty, lip-service-y line.

⚔️Hans Axel von Fersen⚔️

M.A. 2018

Fersen is a bit harder to compare which version is better, because honestly, depending on who plays Fersen in MA, Fersen is either the most generic Hollywood sweeping-lover-hero, or a diamond mine to excavate. In the same post linked above by my friend, she explains in detail the differences between TashiroFersen and FurukawaFersen. K-musical fans, don’t @ me, but from what I can tell, the Korean Fersens are also very... typical.

In this post I have discussed Furukawa’s Fersen in great detail, so I shall skip over these for this post. But to summarise, when portrayed by Furukawa at least, Fersen in MA is very nuanced and restrained. Even if we do not fully credit Furukawa however, then at the very least the script allows enough space and material for an actor to flesh him out so phenomenally well (I think Tashiro and some other actors just.... really missed out on the potential).

Fersen in MA incredibly memorable because the main atmosphere of the imminent doom awaiting everyone is carried by him in a way nobody else does. The moment Fersen enters you feel the tension that the musical wishes to tell. Fersen has seen revolutions, he’s seen the power of anger; he knows shit is going to hit the fan because he’s familiar with this trajectory. 

Fersen has excellent self control because he knows how a lack thereof would hurt Marie’s reputation and escalate the growing chaos. You can see very clearly how Fersen does want the intimacy, but to him duty and the grander picture has priority. In all the small actions from Fersen you see how he is a savvy intellectual through and through. (More about reservation later).

In contrast to 1789, we also get to see so much more of Fersen in MA because he is the narrator and a main character. Throughout the musical he’s been trying to de-escalate the chaos and even though his plans were actually well thought-out, the problems were just simply too big for any one person to solve. When Fersen mourns Marie there is a clear sense that he is not really surprised, just really upset that things had to come so far. Instead of singing something accusatory to the angry and hungry people, he sings: “fate, why did you give her everything, only to show her hell in the end?” Fersen truly understands why the people were duly angry, but that not taking away his sorrow of losing Marie who he knows is a better person than people make her out to be.

Also in great contrast to 1789, the finale of MA is rather grim. It does not suggest hope or that all problems will eventually disappear. The story for these people have ended, but the problems and the world will continue to our days, and days far beyond ours. It gives a feeling that the world of MA is so extensive that we - the audience - are part of it. In the finale when we see Fersen again, he also stays in tune with this feeling. “How can the problems of the world be solved, what is true justice? We remain clueless” he sings, and the way he looks into the unknown distance is almost a reminder to us that nobody has reason to stop worrying and fight for justice.

1789 - the Lovers of the Bastille

Now if we were to compare MA’s Furu Fersen to 1789′s Fersen, we see a stark contrast between the two. Where Furusen was incredibly reserved and hyper aware of everything, 1789′s Fersen is just the over-romantic lover who had been pining for his love. For a moment Marie realises she probably should not be cheating on her husband and backs away. Fersen however, is the one to make further advances, actively pulling her back to his side.

When he embraces Marie you see how he is just dreaming and indulging, something Furusen would never do. Furusen might hug Marie, but not without sh*tting 50 colours. 1789′s Fersen is the sweeping Romeo that most of history makes him to be, and little more. But again, Fersen plays but a very small role in 1789, so it is also unfair to compare him to MA’s Fersen.

Regardless of whatever nuance might or might not be there however, it is also just quite hard to like this Fersen because he is ‘just another privileged aristocrat who is just needy’. When making out with Marie in Palais Royale they find out that Ronan fell asleep there drunk. Ronan simply complained that Marie was too loud and woke him, and Fersen immediately shuts him up, and then draws his sword at him for ‘speaking rudely’.

First of all Fersen and Marie, if you’re gonna do a clandestine meeting, you CHECK your surroundings. Second of all, FERSEN Ò.Ó, this peasant is untrained and weaponless; you can’t just unleash your high-ranking martial arts at him with a shiny sword. This is EXACTLY the reason the revolution happened; the people were sick of the suppression of the powerless by the powerful. UGHUM. It truly is mind-blowing to consider how 1789 Fersen and MA Fersen are both...Fersens.

This Fersen is not very involved with the revolution from either side. He just proposes to help Marie and the King escape once, but got dismissed immediately. The following time we see him it is in the finale.

There he stands, a knight in shiny armour singing a really hopeful phrase to a relatively upbeat and hopeful music: “do not rely on force, but seek for hope and courage.” Here again unlike with MA’s Fersen, you don’t really feel like this Fersen has experienced anything. It was like he was an employed special guard, told by his boss there’s nothing he needed to do, his boss is dead, and oh wellll, moving on!

Conclusion

Because Marie and Fersen in MA are main characters whose stories are fleshed out, it really is very unfair to compare them to their 1789′s counterparts in a race of ‘who is better’. In the end of the day, 1789′s aim is to sell a spectacle, and it realllly is a phenomenal piece if you’re there for the spectacle. The choreography, songs, stage, everything is masterpiece-level. So if you’re there for the spectacle you get exactly what you went there for. The story and characters however... not so much. If one is more drawn to a direct, glittery spectacle with hands-down-amazing-songs however, they’d probably find Marie and Fersen from 1789 more enjoyable. If you’re into first and impressive impressions, the MA counterparts might demand a BIT too much attention and patience to get into.

Related posts:

Introduction and character analysis Fersen ‘MA’ 2018

Comparative commentary on MA Cast M and Cast A

[mc-critical]

Going off of your previous ask, I feel like a lot of what you said of Turhan’s character could be attributed to the character’s writing more so than the character herself? Like you had mentioned, Turhan was an interesting historical figure, and I think that’s the reason why her character’s portrayal and reception has been a point of interest for me. I feel that a part of what contributed to the fandom’s general distaste for Turhan was the time crunch. From the time-jump where Murad died to when Ibrahim took the throne, everything felt pretty rushed writing-wise. We never really had a proper introduction to any of the new characters or the new atmosphere, power dynamics etc. I think the writers may have been in a hurry to end the show and utilized Turhan to act fast and aggressively in her purpose of dethroning Ibrahim and putting her son on the throne in place of him and disposing of Kösem. No real character development, no story of her orgins, no chance to grow with Turhan like we did Hürrem or Kösem. From the jump we’re introduced to someone who is cold and distant and involved in political conspiracy, with no real chance to understand her intentions or how personal they are to her. What’s your take on that?

You're totally right. It's the mix of overall design, character qualities and writing that shapes the general perception of a character, but the writing seemed disturbingly prevailing for Turhan. It causes nearly all of the problems with her character and that's why I focused precisely on it. I feel that her writing always underlined her viciousness and defined her traits to the point these two aspects of her characterization couldn't be judged separately anymore. It's her writing that makes her so outrightly insufferable in the first place and only makes all her unsympathetic traits stick all the more. It's what primarily hurts everything there is about Turhan. Perhaps should've clarified that better last time.

The only things I come back to when it comes to her portrayal are only the themes surrounding her when contrasted with all of the SOW in the show and especially Hürrem, to be honest, as I elaborated in the other ask, but the reception her character got is definetly a high point of interest for me, too. It was to be expected for her to get a strong reaction, regardless of whatever the writers would do with her. She's such an important figure everyone was intrigued about and knowing the ways the franchise handles its characters overall and the level of the character writing of season 2 of MCK (at some points it was indeed less than stellar, but we have a bunch of other times where it was absolutely phenomenal - Kösem, Murat and Gülbahar, especially.), everyone was enthusiastic to find out what exactly would happen to her and what would her narrative role be. (that particular aspect was fairly predictable to guess honestly, with the narrative roles the other members of the SOW that weren't protagonists were given, but still.) The historical figure of Turhan Hatice Sultan only added salt to the wound, knowing what they could've chosen to work with. It influenced the general opinion for sure and if we begin comparing history and show, we could make the assumption that Turhan got probably the most disappointing outcome for many.

Oh yes, the time crunch is probably the biggest factor as to why MCK Turhan got the flack she did. And along with it all there was this big rumor that TIMS had expected a third season -if they got it, I just know all this would've been handled way better for sure. I don't think the beggining plan was for season 2 to cover Ibrahim's reign, given the subtitle that shows in the end of the intro and its primary conflict, so I suppose making the season that had to be about Murat the end of Kösem must've been a sudden unfortunate surprise for TIMS, showing that even the huge international sales wouldn't save MCK anymore. They really had so many episodes left and decided to cram in as much stuff as possible in them to try giving the audience at least a modicum of a satisfying conclusion, which, as you said, made everything feel so rushed as a result and Turhan is perhaps the biggest offender of said rushing. I've seen quite a few people blame Farya for this, too, claiming that she, "Mrs. her Fictional Highness (тм)", only ate up screentime that should've belonged to Turhan and Ibrahim's reign as a whole. But once again, I don't think S02 was planned to be about Ibrahim's reign at first and there's a definite sign that there was a massive change of plans behind the scenes, that's why Turhan got it bad, and it showed.

Perhaps if it didn't end up like that, her characterization would be different or at least a bit more detailed and nuanced and there wouldn't be so much grudge and ire. Even if they kept her as unsympathetic as she ended up being in concept, she would've probably been written better without these time constraints and I, for one, always respect a well-written character, no matter how vicious they might be.

It is possible they planned very roughly for her to be a ready product of her environment despite of everything, because it is just, again, so perfectly aligned with the themes of the show!SOW, but if they got enough time, they would've given her the respect and care this persona deserved, I don't doubt that for a second. And maybe that's why her reception is so negative in general, the one-dimensional, very close to boring even, character we got because of time constraints and the writing thereof, that truly caught the whole fandom by surprise. I actually have encountered people who stan her in places like Instagram, but I see that these people mainly stan the SOW as a whole for how much they've accomplished and how powerful they all are. She is one of the few characters in the franchise, I feel, that doesn't possess any redeeming qualities, the whole deal with her is very unfortunate and sad and I guess it would take some more time for the fandom to get over it completely.

[katehuntington]

Title: Ride With Me (part sixteen) Fandom: Supernatural Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: ±5500 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family.  Summary part sixteen: The wranglers return and Jo can’t wait to hear about Y/N’s adventures, until a disturbing call comes in. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: Opening scene: ‘River Crossing’ - Carter Burwell. Dean & Ellen scene: ‘She Is The Fire’ - Gareth Dunlop. Check out ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: It’s about damn time, ain’t it? Thank you @kittenofdoomage​, @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​​ and @winchest09​​ for helping me. You girls are awesome betas and friends.

Ride With Me Masterlist

     “They’re here!”      With two long ranch ropes hanging from her shoulders, Jo walks up to the fence and hangs the bundles by the loops on a post. All the preparations have been made. Garth and her moved the trail horses to the pastures further to the left, creating space for the youngsters. The hay feeders are stacked, water troughs filled. All that’s left now is to get the horses in the right fields, which sounds easy enough, but has proven to be a struggle many times before. Getting a group of young feril stallions into a certain space is like herding cats.      Both excited and in suspense, she rests her bare forearms on the wooden rail, the sleeves of her plaid shirt rolled up. Jo hopes everything went alright and that everyone, humans and horses, are in good health. The blonde rancher peers at the orange haze up ahead, the wind carrying the veils of dust further east. The sun is slowly setting, catching the clouds rising up from the earth and setting them on fire. 

     She and Garth have one task: take the pack horses out of their hands so they can round up the horses and secure the gates. She looks over her shoulder, whipping her blond braid as she turns her head. Garth joins her, a big smile on his kind face, clearly just as excited. Behind him, in the tall doorway, Bobby and Ellen watch the approaching herd, several guests doing the same from the terrace at the outdoor arena. When she hears Benny’s classic ‘grito’ shout above the intensifying sounds of hoofbeats, she knows it’s time for action.       Macy and Jon come down the trail that carves through the property, both with a pack horse by their side. They only slow down when they turn the last corner. After handing over Cash and Aerosmith, the tourists thank them briefly and spin around, pushing the animals into a canter; their job is far from done. 

     As they speed back to the group again over the trail path outside the fenced pasture, Benny is the first to come through the first gate and from then on, it’s chaos. Most of the juvenile stallions follow him, but two hit the brakes when they notice the bottle neck, demanding quick responses from both Dean and Brad. A few others spread out before Benny has lured them through the second gate. Joplin bolts towards the stragglers once Y/N moves the reins towards her horse’s ears. Like she has been doing so all her life, Y/N cuts of the two youngsters, following the movements of the speedy mare. Dean is with her in a split second, ready to back her up if necessary, but Y/N doesn’t need saving. Jo smiles at the sight, proud of her friend, who is proving herself to be one hell of a ranch hand. She might be State Champion in the arena, but out there, working the fields, she rules the world.

     Shouts and whistles rise above the dust. Horses neigh, the ground trembles. Hooves dig deep into the ground, their beats pounding against the earth. It takes some maneuvering, but within ten minutes, the herd is on the right side of the fence, the animals cantering through the field and clinging together like a flock of birds. Once Macy has pulled the gate shut, the spectators on the terrace cheer, the ranch owners clap as well. Jo lets out an excited ‘woo-hoo!’ as well, Garth joining her in the howl. 

     Y/N turns in the saddle, her attention drawn by the applause coming from the ranch, and she smiles when realizing they have an audience. Ted is waiting for his next cue patiently, catching his breath after the intense ride, while his rider pulls his neckerchief down, using the other end of it to wipe his face. It doesn’t help much, the fabric just smudges the dirt and Y/N chuckles at the sight of the handsome cowboy, covered in dust.      “What?” He rubs his nose with the back of his hand.      “Nothing,” she laughs. “You just need a bath, that’s all.”      “Something about a pot and a kettle.”       He leans over, dragging the pad of his thumb across her cheek, showing her the dark smear on his finger. She laughs in surprise, only now tasting the earth on her lips. Playfully she glances at him from under her lashes, locking onto his green eyes, which stand out even brighter on his dirty face. God, she wouldn’t mind sharing a tub with him. 

     Dean redirects his attention to the group when the other wranglers join them. Content, he allows his eyes to pass the riders and their horses, all worn, covered in sweat and dust. The six of them turned out to be a solid group, because they absolutely nailed it.      “Alright, y’all,” he starts, resting his wrist on the horn of his saddle, absently tracing the dressing of his bandaged hand. “Awesome job, that was some impressive teamwork. I know it wasn’t always easy, but we brought them home.”      “Thanks for having us,” Macy returns, smiling genuine. “We would’ve gone in circles if it wasn’t for you.”      “Hey, now! What about lil’ ol’ me? Y’all would have starved to death if it wasn’t for my phenomenal stew,” Benny recalls, fishing for a compliment.       The riders laugh, Brad patting the Southerner on the back and thanking him for the fine dining. They turn the horses to the trail along the fenced pastures, heading towards the stables.

     Jo watches the company of six approach from under her hat, which shields the setting sun from blinding her. It’s an epic sight, the silhouets of the wranglers and their horses, illuminated with an edge of gold, dust clouds in their wake catching the light. Benny is right up front, accepting the small applause from the other guests with a ‘thank you, you’re too kind’. He looks like he just crawled out of a coal mine, his distinctive blue eyes standing out from the dirt.       She sighs with relief when she notices the three tourists, excitedly sharing conversation with each other about their epic Wild West adventure. They are all unharmed and clearly had a good time, which means they will pay the invoice they will receive once they check out in a couple of days. Maybe they’ll even throw in a tip; God knows the ranch needs it.

     Behind them, the last wranglers follow. Dean and Y/N ride stirrup by stirrup, exchanging a look that has the blonde cowgirl frowning. What’s going on with those two? The moment passes when Macy gets off her horse, Jo’s cue to help her tack down, while Garth assists Jonathan and Brad. She loosens Jimmi’s singe and glances over the horse’s back. Dean has allowed Y/N to pass through the fence first, turning Ted around to close the last gate from his saddle.      Joplin speedwalks onto the square as enthusiastic as the morning she left, not a trace of fatigue with the feisty little horse. As the mare and her rider pass by, Y/N makes eye contact with the ranch owner’s daughter, who follows her with her gaze, confused. The suppressed smile creates dimples in the intern’s cheeks, her lips pulled together in a thin line, as if she’s trying to contain herself. Almost like she has done something bad, something Jo told her not to do. Underneath she’s glowing, her eyes giving the sheer happiness away. Y/N averts her eyes again and steers Joplin to a free spot on the tack up area and only then Dean moves into Jo’s peripheral vision. His expression has similarities to Y/N’s, yet isn’t quite the same. For one, he’s way worse at hiding the sly smirk that reaches from ear to ear, not to mention the mischievous sparkle in his emerald greens. 

     Jo does a double-take, bouncing her eyes from the head wrangler to the intern and back. Then it clicks.      “You despicable dickwad,” she hisses.       Her piercing glare bores into Dean, who has aided Ted to halt next to the horse Jo is tacking down. Playing innocent, he raises his eyebrows at the insult as he dismounts.      “What did I do now?”       Jo narrows her eyes at her cousin. “Oh, you know damn well what you did.”      She lifts the tack from Jimmi’s back, pulling the damp saddle pad from underneath, after which she barges off, muttering to herself. Three days. I left those idiots alone for three days! 

     She enters the tack room, the heavy saddle on her hip. Still shaking her head disapproving, she hoists it over the high beam and hangs the wet blanket on the drying frame. When the door opens behind her, she spins on her heels and faces Y/N, who’s holding Joplin’s saddle, bridle hanging from her shoulder. Guilty, she tips her chin down, looking back at Jo while she bites her lip. The ranch owner’s daughter sighs, deciding to cut her some slack.      “You better hurry up hosing down your horse, ‘cause you have some explainin’ to do,” Jo tells her. “And hose down yourself while you’re at it. You look like you crawled up a chimney.”      Y/N chuckles, putting the tack away. “Oh, how I missed your honest judgement.”      “Missed you too, sis,” Jo returns, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. “Now get goin’, I need a drink and I need to get you drunk, because I wanna know everything. Meet me at the saloon in thirty.”

     A half an hour later, Y/N has taken a seat at one of the small round tables in the corner of the saloon, tapping her fingertips on the dark varnished wood. She’s freshly showered, her hair still damp, held together in a French braid. It’s nice to feel so clean again, no sticky sweat on her back, no sand in her bra, no dirt up her nose. Jo didn’t lie when she mocked her friend for looking like a chimney sweep; Y/N was shocked when she saw herself in the bathroom mirror. Dust as makeup foundation isn’t really the look she is aspiring for. 

     Funnily enough, Y/N has grown fond of this new version of herself, the one that isn’t so fussy over the details. After her shower, she didn’t even bother with her usual makeup and hair routine, a little bit of mascara was all she put on. Old her would have been self-conscious, especially knowing she’ll most likely meet the man she wants to impress. Old her would have ironed her shirt and polished her boots. Old her would have sighed at her reflection, nervous and disappointed, never pretty enough. But for three days straight, Dean looked at her as if she was the only girl in the world, no matter how dirty, dusty or sweaty she was. He even told her she was beautiful, with or without makeup. 

     The way he said it, the way he meant it, quieted that dreadful voice in her head and beckoned the small suppressed girl to step forward, into the light. That little girl’s voice grows louder when she accomplishes something. When she’s accepted, successful, appreciated… loved. But as it goes in business, one bad review might destroy what all the good accomplished. Her confidence is fragile, made of glass. She’s aware that when it falls, it will shatter. Maybe that’s the exact reason why she seeks confirmation. Glueing all the pieces together has proven to be difficult before. Some pieces go missing, others don’t fit together perfectly anymore. Cracks remain visible. And every time that brittle heart is stepped on, it’s harder to put it back together.

     “So!” Jo sits down opposite of her, roughly pulling her off the train of thought. “You better start talkin’.”      She shoves a large margarita glass towards her friend, keeping her delicate fingers around the neck of her beer bottle.      “I want details. Well, not all the details. He’s my cousin after all, I have no desire to know that much,” she corrects herself, thirstily gulping down her IPA when she pauses, keeping the beer in her mouth for a second before she swallows. “Hmm, so let’s start with… what the hell were you thinking and why didn’t you take my advice?”      “I couldn’t have stopped myself if I wanted to, Jo,” Y/N confesses, taking a sip from her beverage.       The blonde cowgirl sighs. “At least tell me it was a moment of weakness? One isolated incident?”

     Another sip, this one a little slower, hoping her friend can’t detect the blush.      “Oh, come on, Y/N,” Jo utters. “He ain’t a bad guy, but you know how he treats women. Remember Casey? Because I bet Dean doesn’t.”      “I don’t think this is like that,” she ponders, shaking her head. “The way he was with me... it’s different.”      Jo leans back in her seat, taking a swig from her drink, looking at her friend even when she tilts her head back and allows the golden brew to slip down her throat. She’s not judging her friend over her decisions, not really. She just wishes this fling with Dean won’t hurt her feelings, despite years of observation that say otherwise.      “Honey,” she starts empathetic. “I hate to break it to ya, but that’s how he’s been with every girl he had sex with. He makes them feel special and then he--”      “- I didn’t have sex with him,” Y/N corrects.      “Wait, what?” Jo cocks her head back, somewhat confused. “You didn’t?”      Y/N chuckles, shaking her head. “No. We kissed, we got a little handsy, but we didn’t have sex.”      Dumbfounded, her friend blinks, needing to process that information first before she responds. Then she nods impressed.      “I knew you were smarter than that,” she grins.      Y/N smiles, amused about how wrong Jo’s assumptions are. “It wasn’t me.”      “What wasn’t?”      “It wasn’t me who suggested taking it slow.”      “Then who--” the first words have fallen from Jo’s lips already before Y/N’s message sinks in and she realizes what that means. Eyes full of shock stare at her. “What?! Dean?!”

     Y/N laughs now, covering her mouth with her hand to keep the noise down. Oh, this is priceless.      “Dean wants to take it easy?” Jo double checks. “We’re talking about the same Dean, right? Dean Winchester? Cowboy Ken Doll with the cocky attitude?”      The tequila mixed with lime juice almost resurfaces through Y/N’s nose and they both laugh when she spills some.      “The one and only,” she giggles, wiping the spilled drink away with her sleeve, not bothered by the stain.       “Hold up. Let’s take it back,” Jo leans in, making sure no one can listen in. “You’re telling me that he had the opportunity to hit a homerun, but didn’t take it?”      “He had several opportunities, actually,” Y/N admits casually.      Perplexed Jo averts her gaze, focusing on nothing in particular, unable to grasp what is going on.       “Did he say anything?” she carefully checks, her frown marred with worry.      Jo assumed Dean was into the intern, but now that he passed up, she’s starting to doubt it. That is so unlike him. The thought crosses her mind that Y/N will most likely get hurt, just not in the way she was trying to prevent. What if the attraction isn’t mutual, but her dear friend hasn’t picked up on it yet?        “Yeah, he did,” she starts off. “We had a pretty deep conversation last night. Just the two of us.”      Jo raises her eyebrows. Another surprising fact; Dean having deep conversations. Have the stars aligned? Is she in a different universe?      “What’d he say?”

     Y/N becomes a little more guarded, unsure if it’s her place to discuss the matter with Jo. The small bit of information Dean shared with her about his past feels top secret, and she doesn’t want to break his trust when this circles back to him. She decides on keeping it plain.      “We talked about us, how to proceed from there. He said…” she smiles at the memory, remembering the sincerity in his voice and in his eyes. “He said he really cares about me, and that because of that, he doesn’t want to rush into it.”      Jo can’t believe her ears. “He said that?”      Y/N nods. “He also said he wants to be with me, Jo. Like really be with me. He just needs a little more time. I think he wants to make sure this lasts.”      “Well, I’ll be damned,” Jo huffs. “How about that?”

     The double saloon doors behind them are pushed open with a shriek, a few guests coming through. Y/N’s heart skips a beat when Dean enters as well. He looked good on the trail ride, in his long stockman coat, his leather fringed chaps, covered in dust and sweat. But my God, he looks even finer now. Dean also showered and changed his dirty jeans for a pair of clean dark ones, a navy blue button up hugging his strong back, shoulders, and arms. He trimmed the stubble that was transitioning into a beard, the shorter facial hair allowing the sharp line of his jaw to come through. Still standing on the doormat, he takes off his hat while scanning the saloon. Is he looking for her? When the cowboy finally spots her, he instantly smiles, the expression reaching his eyes. He holds her gaze when she smiles back happily, shooting her a wink, before heading for the bar. 

     “Ha...” Jo scoffs, amazed by the exchange she just witnessed. “Maybe there is hope for him after all.”      Y/N chuckles, clinking her glass to Jo’s raised bottle, the sound clear as a bell. Beaming, she steals another glance at the handsome cowboy by the bar, who has trouble keeping focus on the conversation with Bobby and Benny, looking over at her briefly every now and then. Taunting him, she takes the remaining beverage before her in one swig, licking the salt from her lips. When she checks on the head wrangler again, his eyes are glued on her, the sight of her downing her drink in one shot clearly having an effect on him. Jo observes the interaction like she’s watching a tennis match and scoffs.

     “Judging by the look he just gave ya, he’s not gonna be able to ‘take it slow’ much longer, because I’m positive you and your margarita just gave him a boner.” She gets up from her chair. “Want another one?”      Y/N nods, chuckling at her comment; Jo has so much faith in her cousin. She can’t really blame her, though, with Dean’s track record, but Y/N knows that this time it will be different. 

     She’s halfway through her second drink when she starts to feel the influence of the alcohol on her system. The music seems a little louder, the candle-shaped lights on the wagon wheels hanging from the ceiling sway slightly. She tells Jo about her adventure off the grid, about singing songs by the campfire at Willow Creek, about swimming with the horses at Eagle’s Nest, about her night ride with Dean. And of course about her moments with the wrangler. Jo stops her when the intern shares a little too much information about the heated kiss in the water, the ranch owner’s daughter putting her fingers in her ears and singing ‘lalala!’ to overrule the juicy details.

     Dean can’t tell what the girls are talking about, but he has a hunch. He smiles content with a beer in his hand, watching them giggle and clearly having a good time. Y/N taunts him every now and then, and he can’t help but smirk when she sips from her cocktail again. She’s gonna be the death of me, he thinks to himself.

The saloon is pretty busy, guests lingering after the arrival of the herd, having a few drinks to celebrate. He takes a second to absorb the ambiance. Cheerful conversations, laughter, eight-balls colliding on the pool table, country tunes playing. It’s much like the evening right before the new intern arrived. He had no idea how his life was going to change, but it did. His gaze lingers on her again, her wide smile and sparking eyes lighting up the room. God, she’s breathtaking. His chest grows a little tighter, but he has grown accustomed to the sensation. It terrified him at first, but now it feels comforting and warm. Dean knows what it means, he understands it, and although he’s still intimidated by what lays ahead, he is excited. This could be the beginning of a new chapter, hell, a whole damn book.

    “So, you and Y/N, huh?”      Staggered, Dean snaps out of it and turns his head to the person on the other side of the bar. It’s Ellen, who apparently noticed her nephew’s longing looks. She’s restocking the fridge under the counter, a dish towel draped over her shoulder and an amused expression on her face. The arched eyebrow surfaces frown lines, her knowing smile reaching her light brown eyes. For a second Dean considers denial, but stops himself, very much aware she will see right through it. Instead he stays quiet, a blush on his cheeks which his freckles can’t hide.      “Please don’t tell Uncle Bobby,” he pleads, keeping his voice down.      “You don’t have to whisper, he’s deaf as a doorknob.” She sets four bottles of IPA down on the counter, flipping the caps off swiftly. “And I personally think he wouldn’t mind.”      Dean scoffs. “Oh, he would. He told me not to get involved with her.”      “Well, he told me I wasn’t allowed to buy Jo a horse for her sixteenth birthday, and look what happened,” Ellen reminds him, the memory of the surprise gift with four legs still vivid, causing them both to chuckle. Bobby was grumpy at first, but Jo was ecstatic. One glimpse of his happy daughter took the old man’s bitterness away in an instant.      “He won’t make a fuss, honey. Believe me.”

“What makes you think that?” he wonders, nursing his beer.      “Because I’ve never before seen you look at a girl like you look at her,” she returns, hinting at Y/N.      The corner of Dean’s mouth curls up a little as he drops his gaze; she knows. He’s not surprised that Ellen is able to read him like an open book, she always had her way of deciphering what was going on in his head. He exchanges a look with his aunt, before she walks away with a tray of beer, the unspoken understanding saying enough.

     Just like on that evening when Y/N walked into his life, the phone rings. Not Bobby’s cellphone this time, but the landline. Ellen whips her hair over her shoulders while serving out the drinks, her hands still full.      “Can you get that, Dean?”      In response, the wrangler stands up from his stool and circles to the other side of the bar. Before he picks up the phone, he glances at the display, frowning when he notices the area code. 207; isn’t that up North?      “Gold Canyon Ranch.”      “Yes, hello. Is Y/N nearby? I’ve tried to call her cell, but I can’t reach her.”      Dean looks over his shoulder at the intern. She didn’t bring her phone on the trail, she wouldn’t have had reception up in the mountains anyway. The man’s tone on the other end of the line sounds serious.      “Yeah, she’s here,” he returns. “Can I ask who’s calling?”      “Her father.”

     Dean freezes, staring at the liquor stash on the shelves in front of him. Fuck. It’s her father. Her father! The wrangler has exactly 0.2 seconds to collect himself, but several thoughts already chase each other in his mind. Holy shit, and I’m messing with his daughter. And I was worried about Bobby?!       “Uh, I - I’ll get her,” he stammers, leaving the phone next to the machine.      Before Dean turns around, he takes a breath. Why would her father call? Just to check up on her? It seemed urgent, and he tried to reach her before. What if something has happened at home? Dean closes his eyes as he feels his stomach constrict. What if she has to go back?

     The cowboy swallows thickly and makes his way to the table in the far corner. He can see her expression fall when she notices the concern on his face, instantly reading in his body language that something is wrong. When he reaches her and Jo, he leans on the table, his knuckles white on the surface.      “Your father’s on the phone,” he notifies.      “What?” she returns, staggered. “My dad?”      Dean nods. “Yeah, he said he tried to call you.”      She quickly reaches for her back pocket, where she usually carries her Iphone. She got so used to not having the device on her, that she didn’t even miss it.      “Did he say what it’s about?” she asks, confused, as she gets up from her seat.      “He didn’t,” he says, trying to keep his tone unchanged, not wanting to worry her more than necessary. “You can take the phone in the kitchen, you’ll have some more privacy.”

     She nods a little bit dazed, takes a beat and then heads to the kitchen. Jo and Dean walk with her, staying behind the bar, offering her space. Through the round windows in the doors, they can see Y/N pick up the phone, but her voice is shut out, the saloon too noisy.      “I wonder what’s going on,” Jo says out loud.      The head wrangler doesn’t say anything, but grinds his teeth, his jaw set. His heart is beating faster than it should, drumming in his ears. Trying to distract himself, he grabs a beer from the cooler and flips the cap off with an opener, but he can’t stop his head from over-analyzing. Shit, what if this is it? What if her father wants her to come home? They were just beginning to grow closer, he was finally allowing himself to feel something. What if it blows up in his face?

     “Dean.”      Jo calls him back from his spiraling thoughts and he turns to peer through the small window. What he sees might just confirm his fear; Y/N has her hand clasped over her mouth. She’s facing away from them, but whatever her dad told her, it clearly impacts her, the pale fluorescent light harshly illuminating what seems to be a tragic scene. Dean’s hand is on the door handle before he can think twice, but his cousin grabs his arm.      “Give her a moment,” she insists.      Reluctantly, he waits, keeping a close eye on her. After another minute, she hangs up, but remains where she is, still processing the news.      Now Dean does push the door open, stepping into the kitchen, cautiously. “Y/N? You okay?”      The young woman who has him worried turns around, as if for a second she forgot he and Jo were waiting for her. Her eyes are glazed over, emotion evident, but Dean can’t quite guess which. As if she’s unable to believe what she just heard, she scoffs.      “I’m - I’m going to ride at Congress,” she stammers.       Her best friend’s jaw drops, staring at her stunned.      “Congress?” Jo checks. “As in the All American Quarter Horse Congress?! The biggest show of the year?!”      Y/N nods, still not sure if this is real.      “I sent in an application in March after I won the State Championships. I wasn’t sure if I had enough points to qualify, and when I didn’t hear back, I just figured...” she pauses, chuckling. “They sent the invitation to the university campus. Mom and Dad only received it last week.”

     Her eyes meet Dean, who stares back surprised. He has heard of Congress. It’s the most important Western riding event in the country, the event every equestrian owning a Quarter horse dreams to be a part of. It’s the biggest single-breed horse show in the world, the competition where the best face the best. Earning a spot on the starting list is a mission in itself, entering the massive arena is an honor. But right now, he couldn’t care less about statistics. He huffs a laugh, his shoulders relaxing in relief; Y/N isn’t going anywhere. Even better, her wish is about to come true, and witnessing her happiness right now, is all he could wish for himself.      “Holy shit...” he stammers, grinning wide.      “You’re going to Congress!” Jo exclaims.      The blonde cowgirl can’t contain her excitement any longer and jumps into Y/N’s arms. Knowing exactly how much this means to her friend, Jo hugs her tight. Absolutely glowing, she returns the embrace, the kitchen filling with their laughter, while Dean watches with a wide smile on his face.      “Well, if this ain’t a reason to raise our glasses, I don’t know what is,” he comments.      “Yes! I’ll get the tequila!” Jo announces, dashing back to the bar to gather the liquor.      “Wait! I have to train Meadow, I can’t waste another day. Congress is in three weeks!” Y/N protests, when her friend grabs her wrist to drag her out of the kitchen.      Jo snorts. “You had two margaritas, hon. You’re not getting on that poor horse.”      “But I should at least lunge her, and my freestyle needs work…” Y/N protests.

     Before they move through the double doors, she pleadingly glances over her shoulder at Dean, but for once the cowboy agrees with his cousin.      “You can train first thing in the morning, Yankee,” he assures.      “See? Now let’s celebrate!” Jo has already turned the music down, catching the attention of the ranch workers and the guests.      “Y’all! Guess who qualified for the All American Quarter Horse Congress?!” she exclaims, pointing at her friend, proudly.      “Well, slap my head and call me silly,” Benny responds surprised.      Garth grins wide, too. “I knew our Yankee could ride, but dang it! That’s impressive.”            Ellen, who was wiping down a table, leaves the cloth on the counter and dries her hands on her jeans, before opening her arm for Y/N as she closes the distance between them.      “Sweety, that’s amazing. Congratulations,” she says warmly, hugging the intern who is becoming a part of the family.      Bobby comes over to congratulate her as well, same as the other ranch workers, and even the tourists she spent the past couple of days with. In the mix of receiving all the praise, her eyes meet Dean’s, who watches her from behind the bar, a content smile playing on his lips. She mirrors his expression and in that little moment they share, time stops. As if for a second it’s just the two of them in the saloon. They don’t need words, he doesn’t have to wish her best of luck, she doesn’t have to hear him say it. The subtle wink he sends her way, combined with the warmth in his eyes is enough; he’s happy for her.

     “I don’t know about y’all, but I think we should drink to this,” Benny - of course - proposes.      “Free round on me!” Y/N promises, earning a loud cheer.      Chuckling, Dean takes the first pint glass in hand and pulls the lever of the beer tap towards him, letting the golden brew swirl into the shaker. He has a feeling this will not be the last round, and Y/N, for once, is indulging in the fun too. She’s always so focussed, eye on the prize. He appreciates how committed she is to achieving her dreams, how passionate she is, but sometimes she forgets to stop and enjoy how far she’s come. He replaces a full glass for an empty one without wasting beer and starts to hand them out. Today they will drink on recent victories, tomorrow they will work on the ones that will follow.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).

Read part seventeen here

[pomegranateanarchist]

things about the lightning thief musical

[itscoldoutsidefilmsthings]

A 3rd year film festival retrospective.

Scumdance (Reno’s premiere underground film festival) has just completed its third year.  As such, this would probably be a good time for a little retrospective and as the festival’s sole proprietor/curator I would be glad to let a little light shine into the inner workings of what it takes to start a film festival, what it takes to keep it running, why I do this in the first place, and the lessons learned along the way.

How did we get here?  In late 2016 I was having conversations with friends, co-workers, bandmates and fellow film nerds about how there was real lack of local film festivals geared towards horror, exploitation, underground, B-movie, etc. types of films.  At the time our band’s practice space was in a warehouse on the edge of town where a loose artist’s community of sorts had taken shape.  Pottery studios, sculpture gardens, graffiti murals, custom hot-rod builders, welding shops, theaters, antique dealers and so much more was all happening in this row of warehouses. One particular spot became hugely inspirational. Next door to our practice space was an event location (for lack of a better term) called the Black Rock Drive-In.  A novelties collector had taken several old cars cut them down, installed benches within and parked them in front of a movie screen like an old-time drive-in movie theater, complete with a western setting sun mural painted on the warehouse’s interior. Combine this with his collection of Airstream trailers, mid-century furniture and appliances, and WWII memorabilia and you had the makings of a great film set.  

Standing outside that warehouse on a chilly evening, post band practice, and musing with our bass player Perry Disgrace, the thought was born… “We should totally put on a mondo-bizzaro film day with crazy movies and bands and just throw a party.” In the true DIY spirit of punk rock, the idea was born and efforts were put in place to manifest this reality.  When mentioning the idea to co-worker and fellow film nerd Gilbert Leiker, he responded “You should call it Scumdance and have the skanking guy from the Circle Jerks albums carrying a camera.”  Boom. Done. Within 20 minutes I had the logo and artwork in place.  I have a habit of taking ideas and running with them, even if they are not my own.  As Pablo Picasso is reported to have said “good artists borrow, great artists steal”… most likely he “borrowed” this from T.S. Eliot.  

As for the details of what it takes to put on a film festival, it’s honestly not all that hard. All you need is a laptop, a projector, a screen, a sound system of some sort, some chairs, a venue, a Film Freeway account and a website.  Having submitted a good number of my short films to a variety of film festivals and having received all manner of rejection (more on that later), the drive to experience critical evaluation of films from the other side was also a strong motivator in bringing this festival about. I already had a website devoted to my filmmaking endeavors. Adding a page listing the event details and linking it to a Film Freeway account was straight forward.  Acquiring the necessary hardware and physical assets was just a matter of pooling resources and gathering items that I already had. The matter of finding a venue has at times proved challenging. The aforementioned Black Rock Drive-In closed. Our favorite dive-bar, in which we hosted the event’s first year, has closed.  Finding the right venue that has a bar, allows outside food to be brought in, while having the right mix of size, space, seating and availability hasn’t been easy; but we have been fortunate enough to work with some fantastic bar owners who have been very accommodating.

The festival itself, wouldn’t be what it is without the amazing filmmakers who have submitted some truly incredible films and the ever enthusiastic judges. The panel of judges was built from a pool of friends some of whom I’ve worked with on previous film projects, some just having shown an overwhelming interest in film and some asked to join the panel after having submitted to previous year’s festivals. It is this last group with whom I am most excited to work.

So why would anyone do this? It’s a question I ask myself every year. Does it pay off when you consider: The countless hours spent watching, rating, and reviewing the films; scheduling a date, finding and coordinating with the venue ,updating FF and the website, attending local meetings to be included in Reno’s Arttown, writing press releases to be distributed on horror sites, selecting the films,  sending out acceptance and rejection letters, scheduling a run of show, setting up all the equipment, running the festival,  bringing food and snacks?   By the time I finish up the event I find myself exhausted.  It wouldn’t seem that sitting in dark room watching movies all day would be that taxing, but mentally, and emotionally it takes a toll… hoping nothing goes wrong technically, hoping that everyone (or at least most attendees) find something enjoyable in the films, hoping that the venue owner and bar staff are not completely annoyed with the films and are making a decent amount of tips, and hoping that there is enough attendance to make it all worthwhile.  While it might be “easy” to put on a festival, putting on a quality festival takes effort. That’s effort I’m willing to put in.  I want to make it the kind of thing I would be delighted to attend.

Of the benefits that come from running a festival, the number one has to be the relationships established.  This is the reason we make films in the first place. It’s all about human connection.  As I was saying above it has become our practice to ask previous year’s submitters to become next year’s judges.  George Sukara, a producer from a film submitted in the first year (HELL! The musical), has become an instrumental part of the festival. His critical insights in judging and undying support have been phenomenal.  It was great to have him at the festival, hosting one of the Q&A sessions, and bringing with him a crew of folks from San Francisco.  One of the other connections made that first year was a gentleman by the name of Michael Joy who brought us a film (Red Christmas) with Dee Wallace of Kujo fame. I’ve been working with Michael on spreading the word about Scumdance through his connections with Artsploitation Films and Horrornews.net.  The second year brought us some great filmmakers from Canada and Indiana, in Grace Mathisen and Adam Laughlin respectively.  Their films were superb, and it was great to have them there in person. They too have gone on to become valued Scumdance judges.  This last year, brought us filmmakers from Toronto, Houston, and Los Angeles.   The Audience favorite, Llamageddon (it’s exactly as it sounds) was written and directed by a young woman who was going by the name “Howie Dewin.”  Her astonishment at winning overrode even her astonishment at being entered in the festival at all (apparently someone on her production team entered the film without telling her as a fun prank).   Even after having a breakfast coffee and a decently long discussion with her, I never did find out her real name. We’ll be stoked to have her as part of the judging staff next year, that is if she responds to her “howiedewin” email.

One of the other great benefits of running a festival (or being a judge) is the experience gained by viewing so may films, of all quality levels.  You learn all the things not to do when making a film.  You see time and again, the overused tropes, the stock and often pointless dialogue, the desire to shock without attention to narrative, and films that are far, far longer than they need to be.   After all this one quickly gains an appreciation for audible dialogue, well thought out story lines, character development, motivated camera movement, inspired score/soundtrack, and tightly edited scenes.

Another wonderful discovery has been the insight into cultures and communities throughout the world that one would not have accessed otherwise.  It has been amazing to see films submitted from the US, Canada, The Netherlands, India, the UK, Austria, Iran, Italy, Mexico, and even Belgium.  In particular the films we receive from Iran have been nothing short of mind blowing. There is something so special about those films.  They tend to be intensely creative, original, inspiring, and chock full of touching humanity in a way that almost makes me reluctant to place them amidst our other less wholesome faire. Also of note, are the LGBT films we receive.  This year we had a film dedicated to trans-persons from Nepal, that was a rare insight into portions of the world not ordinarily seen.

As previously promised, I think it’s worth mentioning the feedback process.  One common thing that I noticed from festivals I was submitting to, was a lack of quality feedback.  For way too many festivals, it doesn’t seem they could even be bothered to change the judging status on Film Freeway… or if they did, it wouldn’t be changed until well after the event date.   For other festivals, they would change the status and send out the standard generic rejection emails. While they were intended to soften to the blow of rejection, they would do little to inform or provide one with any sense as to what could have been improved on the film…. no information on what exactly about the film caused it to fall short of the mark.   It was with this experience in mind that I personally made the decision to include judge’s commentary in both the acceptance and rejection letters. I feel it’s the least we can do to provide the filmmaker with meaningful feedback.

This decision has mostly been met with appreciation, but in some cases the feedback was viewed as “arrogant, presumptuous, and dismissive.”  I can certainly understand how after spending the enormous amount of time, energy and effort that it takes to make a film how one would be incredibly protective of the work.  One exchange with an initially upset but later apologetic filmmaker, gave me clear cause to stop and think about my intentions and motivations. Was I intentionally levelling overly harsh criticism against those who submitted to my film festival, as a way of feeling superior for the failings of my own films? It’s certainly something I need to be cognizant of going forward.  In the future, I hope to continue providing the judges commentary, but will most likely do so after an explicit opt-in scenario.

In regard to my own films, I’ve come to realize with much more clarity than ever that my films were being rejected for completely valid reasons.  I’ve seen what it takes to make a good film and the number one rule is to be entertaining.   In the age of short attention spans and a bajillion choices, it’s difficult (but more important) than ever to gain and hold someone’s attention.

So what’s next for Scumdance?  One exciting possibility discussed with the San Francisco crew is the idea of taking Scumdance on the road.  Perhaps we select the best films from the past 3 years and do a screening in SF or LA.   At some point it would be nice to get Scumdance into a proper movie theater as well, a but the lack of any historical or art house theater in Reno limits our options.  Another exciting possibility is the idea of bringing in a real host… someone with real entertainment value... someone like the subject of this year’s winning documentary, the Phantom Troublemaker.

Of course, I couldn’t do this without the love and support of my wonderful wife Amelia. In all it’s been a great experience that has promoted growth in me as a filmmaker and as a person. It’s been the impetus to build meaningful relationships that I otherwise would not have done and has given me cause to provide much needed exposure to small films.  This is something I want to keep doing, while growing the festival in organic and manageable ways.

Viva Le Scumdance!

Travis Calvert

[themusicenthusiast]

Friday, March 29th, 2019 – Hozier Leads Fans on a Compelling Trek Through the Wasteland as the Wasteland, Baby! Tour Hits Dallas

Photos by Jordan Buford Photography South Side Ballroom has hosted plenty of sold-out shows during it’s time, some stellar talent gracing the stage just in the past year and packing out the venue that can accommodate a couple thousand or so people. However, it had been a while since a show had taken place there with the sheer amount of excitement that enveloped the one occurring on this final Friday of March 2019. Andrew Hozier-Byrne, or as he is professionally known, Hozier, was returning to Dallas for the first time in roughly four years. Four years that have seen the artist growing more and more acclaimed, his successes most recently culminating with the release of his highly anticipated second studio album, Wasteland, Baby! (out via Rubyworks Ltd./Columbia Records). Nearly three weeks in to the North American leg of the Wasteland, Baby! Tour and Hozier and his band were finally getting to North Texas for a performance that likely could have taken place at place even more spacious than South Side Ballroom. No fans were complaining about it though, recognizing this was surely the last chance they would ever have to see Hozier in a venue whose layout boasts some sort of intimacy with the artist. They had been anticipating this for quite some time; the line to get in snaking from the door to the street a ways behind the venue, down it and into the parking lot where it continued to zig and zag. The staff worked to get people in as quickly as they could, making the wait time more than acceptable, yet the line consistently stayed the same as more people arrived and joined. And that was even before when the doors had been scheduled to open at seven, more than a couple hours yet to go before Hozier would ever take the stage. Those attendees were comprised almost exclusively of a young demographic, from teens to early twenty-somethings – a few parents seen bringing their kids to what was surely the concert of the year in their eyes – and of those it was largely a female fanbase whose adoration for Hozier was readily apparent. Jade Bird commented about that stark contrast as she warmed up the audience, asking the ladies in the crowd to make some noise followed by having the guys do the same. She made a quip about them being outnumbered, grinning as she spoke. It was just her, armed with nothing more than an acoustic guitar as the young, British singer-songwriter treated listeners to some bare-bones renditions of her songs, giving them a preview of sorts of her debut LP that is due out in April. Patrons highly enjoyed what Bird did, though by the time she was done they were ready to get to the main act. Fortunately, they didn’t have long to wait. Hozier and his accompanying ensemble cast of musicians (seven in all) took the stage at 9:01, deafening fanfare officially welcoming them to Dallas.

As Hozier’s music is built on a foundation of impassioned emotions, so, too, was the performance he gave, and it was aided by a quality of production that was phenomenal, rivaling the level of what is expected from an arena show. Nothing extravagant, it was just a rich, luscious display that captivated the senses, accenting the music so that the songs felt bolder and stronger than they already were. It was noticeable as they took the stage, flickers of light barely illuminating the outlines of each musician. Soon, Hozier’s gentle plucking of the strings of his acoustic guitar rang out through the room, “Would That I” beginning the 81-minute display they had planned. As they progressed the center stage gradually filled with light, revealing the man of the hour for all to see; the climatic and impassioned choruses bringing more of the band into focus as short bursts of light struck them. An enthralling atmosphere had been established by that opening number, and to say it felt spiritual – sonically and visually speaking – would not be an understatement. The stark contrast of that track as it ebbed and flowed between something tranquil and beautifully striking was wonderous, and Hozier would only build upon that, seizing that moment to further immerse the audience in the spectacle that he had planned.

Several members of his backing band served in multiple roles, such as Rachel Beauregard and Kristen Rogers, both of whom had provided backing vocals for that opening number, and afterwards approached the front of the stage where they contributed to the percussion and keys, respectively. It was with “Dinner & Diatribes” where one was able to better appreciate the intricacies of Hozier’s music, given that everyone was able to see just how much effort goes into bringing the expectations from the recording to life. Everyone’s role was vital; most of the musicians clapping along with the percussion when they could, encouraging the spectators to do the same, which they did with glee. With that track Hozier and company made it apparent just what a force to be reckoned with they were, the energy skyrocketing off the charges, Hozier himself finding a moment to just wail on his guitar with absolute ferocity. They were in top performing shape thanks to being well into the current tour, their chemistry binding everything together as they really hit their stride with plans to go beyond it.

Quickly escalating with those first couple numbers, it all culminated with “Nina Cried Power”, the powerhouse, anthemic track being an ideal song for the live environment. Only occasionally did Hozier play a guitar during that one, instead embracing and owning the role of frontman for the only real moment of the show. He did carry his guitar along with him, holding it to his side and even lifting it slightly in the air, but for the most part he roamed about the stage and belted out every line with immense passion. The connection he had to that song was obvious, the emotions that went into it bleeding through on his face; the subtle movements, such as the little gestures of the hand that he did, being quite keen, and as minute a detail as that was it went a long way in further thrilling the crowd. What was so surprising about that was how strongly the spectators reacted to that first handful of songs. Wasteland, Baby! has only been out for a couple of months, yet those songs already seemed to be as beloved as those from his debut LP. It’s a reaction seldom had, one where fans of any artist or act enjoy the new material as much as what they’ve become so familiar with, and it speaks to the respect and even loyalty that Hozier’s fans have for him. That said, they loved hearing the couple classics that immediately followed, after which Hozier declared the crowd to be one of the most enthusiastic and simply best audiences that they had ever played to. Fearing that could be construed as just a statement he stressed his sincerity about it, the slight state of awe over the amount of love he and his band were being shown affirming how genuine he intended that comment to be.

The stage was awash with brilliant pastel lighting for “Talk”, piercing through what was otherwise darkness, the faint outlines of the majority of the band members being all that was noticeable; while “From Eden” drew a joyous response from the crowd once they discerned what it was from Hozier’s picking at the acoustic guitar he had switched out to. Perhaps one of the neatest things about this show was how Hozier worked to make it feel like an intimate affair by injecting a bit of a storyteller vibe into it. For example, in setting up the title track he spoke of what a “weird time” it had been when he first began writing for this new record, around the time that 2016 had ended. In case anyone had forgot, he reminded them that was the year a seemingly abnormal amount of celebrities – and musicians in particular – passed away, which in turn had him thinking about the end. Thus, “Wasteland, Baby!” was born, a gorgeous song that alludes to the fragile and fleeting nature of existence; the band being pared down to a trio for that primarily acoustic piece.

It was followed by another new song as well as a story to accompany it, Hozier speaking of a type of bird known as a shrike. Rightfully assuming that most were unfamiliar with the species he described some of their habits, like how they impale insects or small animals on things, even hanging them on what could be called a hook, earning them the nickname of “butcher bird”. “…They’re a beautiful bird, but also horrifying… So, I thought it would be an appropriate name for a love song,” he finished, earning a hearty laugh from the onlookers. The subdued “Shrike” portrayed Hozier and company in a different light; Suzanne Santo, who was on guitar duty for most of the night switching out to a violin, the restrained nature of that strikingly lovely track putting more focus on Hozier’s voice and the vast range he commands so impeccably well.

Patrons were elated to hear “To Be Alone”; the hypnotic drum beats Rory Doyle steadily served up enrapturing all, some clapping along ensuing before a portion of the second chorus was ceded to the fans, who shouted it at the top of their lungs. “Moment's Silence (Common Tongue)” also stood out as a fan favorite of the night, the song being so much more than what is portrayed on the recording. Amazingly intense, it allowed for arguably the most raw, primal moment of the night, Hozier proving he has all of the hallmarks of a bonafide rock star. It was straight up rock ‘n’ roll, a seductive beat and gritty guitar riffs ensuring it was a beast; the dazzling display of lights that went with it adding to the impressive scale. Adding some insight to “Almost (Sweet Music)”, Hozier explained it was about attempting to “escape the inescapable”, speaking of how music establishes a lasting connection to whatever a person is experiencing in their life at that moment, and who they were with. That really seemed to resonate with everyone, as that is one of greatest powers that music has: providing a tether to every crucial moment of one’s past, be it wonderful or awful.

The closer came abruptly, “Take Me to Church” catching everyone off-guard in the most wonderful way. Mainly, it was just difficult to believe that the night was already over. Unexpected as it was, the couple thousand people hastily got on the same page, echoing along to every last word of the now classic breakout hit; a collective shriek filling the room in the latter part, Hozier having jumped into the pit in front of the stage, getting as up close and personal as he possibly could with the lucky fans who had scored a spot at the front. A phenomenal display on all fronts, Hozier wasn’t quite done with Dallas, a couple songs planned for the 10-minute long encore. They weren’t done dazzling, either, “Work Song” showcasing another gorgeous side of the collective talent gathered on stage, as they nearly all harmonized with one another, the layers of the vocals being astounding, resulting in a stunning finish to what had been a concert for the ages.

Hozier definitely has a throng of ardent supporters, but on the other hand, there are still just as many people out there who probably view him simply as the man who performs “Take Me to Church”. He is so much more than just the guy who crafted one massive chart-topping single, though. I’ll confess, even I was inclined to believe that notion prior to this night, but this performance totally revolutionized my perceptions of Hozier. The level of artistry he possessed was jaw-dropping, epitomizing what a legitimate artist is throughout every second of the performance. Whether he’s sweetly crooning on a more tender balled or investing everything into belting out something more spirited his voice is phenomenal and brimming with emotion. His guitar work may have been secondary for him, though when he was able to dedicate more of his focus to it his chops were readily apparent; and those rare moments where he acted solely as a frontman he stood as a vigorous one.

Furthermore, he is a true singer-songwriter, and in an age where it has become more prevalent for musicians to perform music that was written by a third-party, you have to respect that. Because of that, there’s a more personal connection formed, the life events that led to these songs and how much they really meant to Hozier being noticeable as he performed them, as if baring a portion of his soul for all to see. Hozier is the kind of talent that comes around about once a generation. Considering how relatively new he still is it’s remarkable how refined his talents are, already carrying himself and executing the songs in a manner that makes it appear as if he has spent a lifetime doing this. Yet he’s remained humble enough to still be slightly shocked over the reaction people have to his music, which is refreshing to see.

As high as fans’ expectations were going in to the concert this night, they were exceeded. The band he has surrounded himself with was responsible for part of that, all being top tier talent who fleshed out the music perfectly and made sure to invigorate the audience to boot. However, a lot of credit for that needs to go to the crew as well, especially those in charge of the lighting. A key element of any show, the production for this one was stunning. It worked in brilliant harmony with the music, allowing the songs to sound bolder and more emotive. It was artistic, further accenting the artistry that went into the performance. A once in a lifetime talent, it’s easy to envision Hozier moving up to arenas of various scales in the near future. And based on what he gave Dallas this night, he’d have no trouble commanding a crowd of thousands upon thousands of people. In fact, I’d be quite interested to see how the performance would be elevated for venues of that scale, because as much as he offered up on this Friday night, Hozier still has so much to give to the world. This North American leg of the Wasteland, Baby! Tour will run through April 14th, when it will conclude in Spokane, WA at First Interstate Center for the Arts. Other stops include The Pearl in Las Vegas, NV on April 7th and Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Los Angeles, CA on April 9th. Most of the shows are already sold-out. They’ll return to the U.S. in May and June for shows in the south and mid-west, including a performance at Hangout Festival in Gulf Shores, AL on May 17th. A complete listing of Hozier’s upcoming events can be found HERE; and check out Wasteland, Baby! in iTUNES or GOOGLE PLAY. Set List: 1) “Would That I” 2) “Dinner & Diatribes” 3) “Nina Cried Power” 4) “Jackie and Wilson” 5) “Someone New” 6) “Talk” 7) “From Eden” 8) “Wasteland, Baby!” 9) “Shrike” 10) “No Plan” 11) “To Be Alone” 12) “Nobody” 13) “Moment's Silence (Common Tongue)” 14) “Almost (Sweet Music)” 15) “Movement” 16) “Take Me to Church” Encore 17) “Cherry Wine” (acoustic, solo) 18) “Work Song”

[greatapk]

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[isitandwonder]

A while ago there was an interview going round with Luca and Armie, published in the German Vogue in January 2017. I finally got hold of a copy and translated it into English.

@foryou-insilence - it’s on it’s way to you!

Just a few remarks:

I’m not a translator, so this is just what I made of it. I tried to give a choice of words when the meaning could have different nuances. If you have any questions, just ask. If anyone has better ideas how to phrase or translate it, pelase, have at it.

I think the interview was conducted in English, then translated into German, and now I translated it back into English. Something might have been lost along the way.

It seems a bit jumpy in topics, so I think it was initially longer or they omitted the questions asked by the interviewer.

They use the informal you (Du) in the German text instead of the more formal address (Sie), indicating a relationship of equals. I also got the feeling that it was done during filming, because they both often use present tense when talking about CMBYN.

If anyone wants a scan just send me a PM and provide an email address.

Completed! [Could also mean 'hyphy']

Director Luca Guadagnino and actor Armie Hammer talk the power of sensuality, ugly beauty and sex in front of the camera

The Italian director Luca Guadagnino is a master of the emotional intimate drama like I Am Love (with Tilda Swinton) and A Bigger Splash (with Ralph Fiennes) which unsettle and enthrall through their intensity. Armie Hammer distinguished himself through his multilayered interpretation of discrete parts/roles, not least his dual role as the Winklevoss-twins in The Social Network. Now, Luca Guadagnino earmarked for him the part of Oliver in his film based on Andrè Aciman's novel Call Me By Your Name (Berlinale 2017), a young American drawn into an amour fou.

For this Vogue talk, both met in the Palazzo Albergoni in Lombardy, a century-old villa, that is, in the movie, inhabited by an American Professor, his Italian wife and their 17-year-old son Elio. Oliver is a guest at their house, and like him, Armie Hammer was transformed by his Italian experience.

AH: We already talked about that the mood of the film is relaxed and at ease. Thanks to you [in the translation, the informal 'you' is used], this is also true  beyond the camera. And that even despite the difficult circumstances, the rainy weather, for example.

LG: This happens without me thinking about it. I like having guests. And this film is about someone who is a guest, a visitor. Many aspects of human relationships can't be controlled, but some stuff can be defused/disarmed. Filming is a hectic process/action full of conflict, related to personal discomfiture/unease. Filming A Bigger Splash was all about that. This time I wanted to avoid such tension. But there's always inner tension, that mounts through shooting and is connected to the content of the film. I try to channel the intensity within my staff into the story. Especially the cultural  differences between Italian, French and Americans gad to be channeled.

AH: Your movies are always set in Italy, despite their international cast?

LG: It is easier to organize. To tell the truth, I hope this will be the last film for a long time that I shot in Italy. By the way, I wanted to work with you for a long time, and Call Me By Your Name was the right moment to ask you. The international cast wasn't a conscious decision/consideration, it just happened naturally. As a European director I wouldn't cast Americans if it wasn't for the benefit of the story.

AH: I love the filming experience and the life in Crema, where we live. It's the most picturesque little town I can imagine. No one speaks English. That's absolutely new for me as an American, who usually gets through with it [English] everywhere. I immerse myself 24 hours a day into this other world. It's a somewhat analogue experience. My smartphone is usually switched off, mostly because of the time difference. This isolation makes it easier to concentrate on the project. I have the feeling to have ended up in another universe.

LG: Seriously? You don't know this kind of film-making?

AH: Absolutely not. I've never worked with a director with whom i felt clicking from the get go. I just walked into a world where everything is lovable/amiable, the colleagues, you, this villa.

LG: But isn't it always like this? Now you got me interested.

AH: You give me the feeling of being an equal. Here's no hierarchy, the director isn't some kind of god on top [of a mountain] and I, as an actor, stand beneath him, even beneath the author and producer and so on.

LG: So that's how it usually is?

AH: Yes, especially with projects with gigantic budgets made by large studios. With those, you are just an actor who has to fit a casting mold.

LG: As a director, I always feel like a young school child with yet many years before graduating. I still have to learn and research a lot. I don't just want to gain a notion/concept of the fictive characters, but from the actors as well. This stance might spring from films made in the post-war era and exploded in the 1970s. Directors like Scorsese or Coppola blurred the lines between actors, characters and plot. I ask myself how I can do a bigger movie with this attitude/mindset, an action movie for example that I like to do next.

AH: Like French Connection?

LG: Absolutely. As a viewer, one gets completely pulled into the life of the policemen, played by Gene Hackman and Roy Schneider. You sense the risk they and the director have taken. The film is a phenomenal adrenaline rush Something like that is enormously inspiring. I'm not interested in fiction, I hate the artificial, the construed, polished. I want to discover something while filming, I want to, how do you say it...?

AH: You want to be a midwife?

LG: Exactly. I'm a midwife. And my new interpretation of Suspiria will get equally personal as Call Me By Your Name. I always felt that I wanted to do this film again. I want to acknowledge the feelings it evoked in me when I was ten. I hope it will shock the audience.

AH: That is an interesting approach to make a film, to let the audience feel what you once felt.

LG: Just like I hope I can convince the audience with our film that it doesn't matter with whom you fall in love.

AH: That you can fall in love with everyone?

LG: I love the impossible and despise the possible/feasible. When I sense that something impossible is about to become real, I get enthusiastic.

AH: The novel by Andrè Aciman that inspired our film is a challenge as well. It is told from a very special perspective. You are totally in Elio's head. You hear his doubts and see the scenes like he paints them. But the film is more the study of two human being who overcome all conceivable obstacles and fears.

LG: A face can tell a lot about what's going on inside [one's head]. And when you have fantastic actors, they create an emotional world that becomes tangible while watching them.

AH: Usually, I do months of research before I start filming and read everything I can get my fingers on. But the information I need for Oliver can't be drawn from Aciman's novel. Instead, I tried to find out what it meant to grow up during the 70s and 80s. And I tried to acquaint myself with the Jewish identity, which is important for my role. But particularly did I try to understand the atmosphere/mood of the film. My character is curious, sensual/sensible and open for everything that  he comes across. It doesn't matter if it's a glass of peach juice, Elio or young Chiara. He moves differently in the world than I do. To understand that was a big part of my preparation.

LG: The film doesn't portray Oliver like Monica Belluci was enacted in Maléna by Guiseppe Tornatore – as a beautiful woman to stare at. That he's a handsome man was but an ironic detail for me. All characters are beautiful, but not because of their outward appearance but because we are allowed to look into their heart and soul. What is important is the emotional journey/process Elio embarks on, and which we can experience through his looks. How does he act on his infatuation/crush? Does he create something deeper/more profound out of it?

AH: I recognized that in the whole movie there isn't one single beauty shot, which is all about the most attractive angle in flattering sunlight, to draw attention to a face. Nonetheless, every angle is gorgeous, in all your films. They are always careful yet cunning/subtle.

LG: I'm interested in sensuality, not beauty. If I hear the word beauty I take up arms. For me, it's about how humans surrender to sensuality. In the end, you can't say no to an erotic challenge. Another impossibility I constantly think about.

AH: Water is a sensual element in this movie.

LG: And I can't even swim. When I set foot into water I drown. I hate the ocean/sea, I hate the heat, I hate the humidity, I hate the people surrounding me, I don't want to present myself naked in front of them. Even Pantelleria [an Italian island] disgusted me during filming A Bigger Splash.

AH: That's kinda funny: we filmed some/huge parts of this film in the water and you hate it!

LG: It's about its meaning in the movie, like the sex scenes. They are meaningless as well if they are not some sort of dialogue between two people.

AH: Believe it or not, I had my first nude/sex scene in Call Me By Your Name!

LG: What? You didn't do this before?

AH: No! But you and the crew just handled it like it wasn't something special, just like every other scene. And as soon as it says 'Cut!' you come up like out of a fog: there's the boom operator, the camera man, just doing their job.  I wished I could bottle feelings, the feelings before and after a scene. I would need weeks to understand and explain the difference. Anyway, it doesn't feel like something special/particular for me as well by now.

LG: You did it totally emotionally believable/true. It was fantastic. Actors are in a very fragile place.

AH: We are very exposed, not only because the whole crew is there.

LG: The actor grants the director a huge credit of trust/takes a leap of faith. And then the film is released into an unknown world.

AH: But that's exactly why I became an actor.

LG: And when do you turn into a director?

AH: I certainly will never write my own script. I lack the concentration to devote myself to it for months on end. But I'd madly love to direct. But when I see how effortless and fluent this process is for someone like you, I think I'll never be able to do that.

LG: What does it mean, in your opinion, to be a director? You already worked with the best.

AH: I think it's about to reconcile everyone and always keep track of everything. I have no idea what goes on inside a director, it all happens out of view. And it's so fast that I fear to interfere/impede everything when I ask a question. But there are other directors who work differently, who think out loud prior to every scene, where the camera should be placed.

LG: Do you prefer that?

AH: Of course. No one's so close to the camera as the actor. And if the director walks over and talks to the camera man, I listen closely. I always knew I wanted to work in movies, in whatever job. As a kid I went to the cinema every weekend and watched everything on the bill. I had no idea what a director or producer does, and so actor was the obvious choice.

LG: Directing means to be an outsider. You have to man up for a job that's deep and dark.

AH: Why? What is the reason for this alienation?

LG: Today I thought about what I like. When I grew up, I loved directors who's movies were strong, uncompromising and hard to bear. Those films were inherently unsuccessful but later became legends: Stanley Kubrik, for example, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, Michael Powell, Federico Fellini. I can't make a Hollywood movie under these conditions, you are dead before you get a second chance. Therefore: I like directors who do what they want and address my desires. It is frightening, but I as well always get what I want. I was in love with Ralph Fiennes, his pictures hung in my room. And then he worked with me in A Bigger Splash. It is important to get what you really want. I truly have to own and desire the actors who work on my movies.

AH: Was that the case with me as well?

LG: When I saw The Social Network: yes, the film is brilliant, the script is great, Jesse Eisenberg is a fantastic Mark Zuckerberg – but who the fuck are the Winklevoss twins? There was something in you that I wanted to bring out in front of a camera.

AH: And we did it.

LG: My next goal is to find/expose your dark side. As an actor, are you seduced or a seducer? I always hear that actors are seductive. But as a directorI have to say that they also get seduced and sometimes even betrayed.

AH: Those who are not involved in the process of film-making romaticize the existence of actors. It would be wonderful if I was mobbed with scripts. But the truth is, there are so very few fine directors and great scripts that everybody wants the part as soon as it hits the market. In this fight for the one chance I feel like a prize boxer. Sure, there are colleagues who automatically receive fantastic offers...

LG:... but you don't want that, not really.

AH: True, but you seduced me and it was 100% worth it. Filming with you left a huge impression in my personal and professional life.

LG: It is irrelevant how many films you do a year as an actor. The only important thing is to give an emotional iconic performance. Which you did. That's how film history works. That's how I see it, and I'm a film historian.

AH: You know more about film than anyone else. And that's why you do such nice/lovely movies. But you cast such an interesting/interested glance on many things, on everything, whatever it is. Your reasoning is always cultivated, thought through.

LG: The practical problems in film making are so overwhelming, you have to work with each shot and then with the sum of it.

AH: I worked with directors who decided 'the trees have to stand differently'.

LG: It is crazy. That's how I wanted it when I was 17. You film in a garden that gets arranged to your will. But that's not how it works.

AH: I also know other directors who just let things happen, like midwives.

LG: There we come back to the masters of the craft. They didn't close the door to reality, like Jean Renoir once said.