#everything i could do easily feels like an impossible task

[askkakuro]

...

[reiding-writing]

omg, part two for roommates? It was so good

ROOMMATES [PART TWO]

/ˈɹu(m)ˌmeɪt/ /part one/

when you and spencer share a room together on a case, you find yourself a little out of character at the revelation you'll have to share a bed with him.

WARNINGS: cold but not antagonistic reader

spencer reid x cold!reader || fluff?? || 1.4k || series masterlist!!

a/n: is this too much cold!reader back to back? maybe, but this is my blog so i make the rules love yall

main masterlist!!

You woke up cold, your fingers unwelcome against the skin of your cheeks as they spread the stark chilliness that your extremities are feeling over your eyelids.

Whilst not entirely surprising, being so cold in a hotel room that was meant to be built for negative temperatures felt a little too unlikely to be true with no extraneous variables.

You found yours almost immediately, you were only half-covered in the bedsheets, the rest balled up around Spencer as he laid with his back to you.

You glanced around in the dim light, trying to locate your lost part of the blanket. But it was tightly wound around Spencer, making it clear that reclaiming your portion without waking him would be an impossible task.

You sighed softly, trying to think of a solution that wouldn’t involve waking him up, but the more you thought about it, the less feasible it seemed.

Frustrated, you tried to tug at the blanket gently, hoping against the odds that you could retrieve some of it without disturbing him. To no surprise whatsoever, Spencer stirred, turning to face you with sleepy eyes.

“Mmm… what time is it?” he mumbled, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Early, go back to sleep,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice steady under the softness of his gaze. “And stop hogging the sheets.”

Spencer quickly let go of the blanket, allowing you to take hold of it. “Sorry,” he murmured before turning back around and falling back asleep almost immediately.

You stared at him for a moment, surprised by how easily he‘d managed to fall back to sleep. But then again, it was Spencer. He was a different breed of person.

Wrapping the blanket around yourself, you laid back down and tried to get some more sleep. But as you watched Spencer sleeping peacefully with his back to you, you couldn’t help but feel a strange warmth spreading in your chest.

Despite the cold and the uncomfortable lump in the mattress, you found yourself on the verge of smiling against the sheets pulled up to your nose.

But you quickly banish the thought, reminding yourself that this was just a one-time thing.

A necessity due to circumstances. Nothing more.

You close your eyes, letting sleep take over once again.

The comfort of sleep eludes you, however, your mind plagued by the unconscious Spencer that lay not too far from you. You don’t know why it was now that you were having such an issue with falling asleep in his presence. You'd managed to bury the thought earlier, why could you do it now?

The silence of the room seemed to only amplify everything rampaging through your mind, and you turn to your other side, your back to Spencer as you try to clear your mind.

The sound of his soft breathing lulls you, a comforting rhythm in the otherwise silent room, and you feel yourself starting to drift off, the day's exhaustion catching up to you.

However, just as you're about to succumb to sleep, you feel a shift in the bed.

Spencer's moving.

His movements are slow, sluggish with sleep, and before you can process it, you feel his arm drape over your side, his body pressing against your back.

The surprise of his touch jolts you awake and you freeze completely, unsure of what to do. His breath fans against the back of your neck, a warm contrast to the cool air of the room.

You ponder your options. Should you move and risk waking him? Should you stay put and pretend to be asleep? If he woke up like this you know that he’d spiral into a pit of embarrassment and you’re not sure that you want to deal with that.

It also wasn’t the worst position, but that’s something that your mind would even let you consider.

You opt for the latter of the two options, deciding not to disrupt his sleep.

Your heart pounds in your chest, the rhythm deafening in your ears as you will yourself to just fall asleep and relieve yourself of the torture you’re enduring. You take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing thoughts and after what feels like an eternity, your body relaxes and you slowly drift back to sleep, Spencer's arm a comforting weight around you.

When you wake up the next morning, the events of the night feel like a distant dream. Spencer is already awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to you as he speeds through the pages of a novel in his lap.

The memory of his arm around you sends a warm flush through your body, although the memory is so distant you can’t even really be sure it was real. You were half asleep after all.

The fact that Spencer seemed so relaxed also supports your theory that it might’ve been a sleep-induced hallucination. There was no way he’d be so casual if he’d known he’d done that.

But it felt too real to have not have happened.

As you rise from the bed, you make a silent vow to yourself. This was a one-time thing. It wouldn't happen again. You wouldn't let it.

But as you catch Spencer's eye and he gives you a sleepy smile, you can't help but wonder if that's a promise you can actually keep.

“Good morning, how did you sleep?” He closes the book with a small ‘thud’ sound, smiling half-awkwardly in your direction.

It takes you a second to process that he’s speaking to you, and he takes your silence as a sign that you’re still mad at him for taking the sheets.

“I’m sorry for what happened last night,”

Your eyes snap to his at his apology. So he did remember clinging to you like a koala then.

“I move a lot in my sleep, so I must’ve accidentally pulled all of the sheets in my direction,”

Nevermind.

“It’s fine Reid.” The grogginess still lacing your tone doesn’t do any help in making you sound genuinely okay with what had happened, nor does the narrowing of your eyes under the morning light that makes you look like you’re intentionally staring daggers into his forehead.

“Okay- Sorry-” He hated how intimidated he was by you sometimes, especially considering he knew you weren’t trying to be intimidating in the moment.

You were just half-asleep and sensitive to the bright lights, and yet you still managed to make him feel like one wrong word would be like hand-writing his death certificate.

God only knows what he would be thinking if he knew he’d spent half the night with his chest to your back.

“Stop apologising, I said it was fine,” You rub your eyes with your fingers, the way you pinch your nose bridge again serving to make you look way more angry than you actually were and sending Spencer down another internal-panic at the idea of you secretly being annoyed with him.

“Right, sor-” He stops himself halfway through his sentence, pressing his lips into a tight line with a short nod. “Uhm, Hotch said to meet down in the lobby in half an hour,”

You exhale heavily as you drag your palm down your face, humming absently as Spencer relay’s Hotch’s order to you.

You get out of the bed with a stretch and a yawn, and Spencer thinks it might be the most ‘human’ he’s ever seen you be — probably because he couldn’t see your expression with your back turned to him.

“I’m going to change,” You announce your departure to the shared bathroom as you grab your clothes for the day from your bag, giving him ample opportunity to stop you if he wanted to use the bathroom for something before you did. You knew he wouldn’t either way.

“Alright,” He gives you a slightly nervous nod as you shut the door behind you, messing with the leather spine of the book in his hands.

The first thing you do once you’ve got your privacy is soak your face in cold water, hoping that it’ll wash away the memory of how Spencer’s arm felt around your waist with your sweat.

But he didn’t know that. And you weren’t planning on telling him anytime soon.

[guxciestone]

🔮 ❛ SR JUPITER THROUGH THE HOUSES ༉‧₊˚ ˚୨୧

(solar return chart)

💜✧

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❝ what is your abundance for the year? ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

‎i hope you’re having an amazing day. if you have an post suggestions i’m glad to consider them. enjoy <3

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jupiter in the 1st house

This is an indication that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your outlook, appearance, personality, and how others and life treat you this year. You might notice that your mindset is leaning towards positivity, faith, and optimism this year. It may be easier for you to look on the bright side and for things to go your way. More luck than usual is usually what comes with this placement. This year you’ll feel like you can take on the world. You might want to expand your horizons and try new things, whether that be your social circle, career life, family life, spiritual life, or emotional life. During this time you’ll notice that you don't take things as seriously. It can be easier for you to recover from setbacks. On the other hand, be careful about overindulgence because this placement is notorious for allowing you to gain weight easily or become lazy and arrogant.

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jupiter in the 2nd house

This shows that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your finances, material possessions, and skills. It is possible that you might land a new job opportunity or discover an incredible source of income for yourself. Perhaps you experience some type of financial windfall. You might suddenly gain more physical items as well such as a new house, a new car, or or new clothes. This placement is useful for when you want to build on your skills or abilities to land your desired career because it is easier for you to do so. For example: If you want to get a job as a chef, this is the perfect year to enroll in culinary arts classes and practice. However, be careful with how you handle your possessions this year because it could easily fluctuate and you could become impulsive with your spending habits. Do not overspend or buy things that are unnecessary.

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jupiter in the 3rd house

This year is the year in which you find abundance and expansion in your mind, learning processes, communication, and peers. You’ll see that this year you’ll feel a strong need to expand your mind and learn things. Perhaps you’ll begin to read more books, study harder in school/college, enroll in a class, or watch more informational videos in your freetime. If you are in school, your grades may be significantly better than usual and there’s luck in your academic opportunities too. There is a possibility that you seem to be more extroverted and desire to be more social this year. You are charming and more witty, perhaps making friends through your peers. You could expect yourself to want more reflective and thoughtful talks with people this year. You might also be capable of handling more tasks than usual. You are able to be busier in your daily life because you mostly have a lot to do. However, it is almost impossible to get to know everything at once. It is important to slow down this year, and don’t overwhelm yourself with tasks.

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jupiter in the 4th house

This is an indication that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your family, home life, and sense of security. It is possible that your family life is relatively happier, brighter, and more stable. There could be increased peace in the home as well. It could be that most family troubles are going away significantly. There could be something expanding your family life as well–perhaps a new baby, new money, or even a new home or home renovation. There could even be small changes in the home such as making a new flower garden, painting the walls of your room, and much more. For the older individuals, perhaps you are considering retirement to where you can finally enjoy the fruits of your labor.

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jupiter in the 5th house

This shows that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your joys, self-expression, and casual relationships. It is possible that you could be trying new hobbies and aspirations, expanding your personal interests to learn more about things. This placement also calls for you to enjoy yourself more often. Perhaps you are going out to parties more, spending time with friends, having more crushes, or engaging in casual relationships. You could also notice that you are yearning to show yourself more, taking yourself out of your comfort zone and trying new versions of expression. It could be that you might get a new tattoo, a new style, or try different people than what you are used to. This placement is useful for you if you want to win the lottery within the year. This placement is also great for when you want to win the lottery.

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jupiter in the 6th house

This year is the year you’ll find abundance and expansion in your daily life, health, work, and routine. This is a time where you probably want something more out of your day-to-day habits, perhaps you strive to become more busy and fill up your to-go list during this time. You could be busier this year, especially at your work. Perhaps you are working more often and get recognized at your job for your hard work. It is also the case that you could even start an exercising regime, schedule more meetups with peers, or eat more exciting foods. On the other hand, it is important to be careful about overindulgence and laziness in your routine. There could be overeating involved and weight gain is more possible.

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jupiter in the 7th house

This is an indication that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your interpersonal relationships, your environment, and others. This placement is victorious for bringing in a new relationship or even a proposal if you are in a long-term relationship. If you are already married, the benefits of being with your spouse will show this year. You’ll notice that in general all of your relationships with others will improve. You are getting along with others and others are getting along with you. You may even meet significantly more new people this year. There is a possibility that you are more social, charming, talkative, and extroverted too. If there are any business partnerships or alliances, you’ll see that you’ll reap the success of it when you cooperate with them.

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jupiter in the 8th house

This shows that you’ll find abundance and expansion in other people’s possessions. During this year, it is possible that you’ll receive a gift from someone at some point. This could be an inheritance, monetary settlement, or even something you begin to own after a divorce–such as a house, car, kids, or even huge sums of money. If you receive huge amounts of cash this year, make sure to manage it successfully by hiring a financial manager or putting all of the money into an account. This placement is also known for when you are making huge purchases such as buying an estate. Your intimate relationships are also more apparent this year, especially towards your spouse or loved ones.

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jupiter in the 9th house

There is a strong need to search and expand on a higher understanding of the divine this year. Perhaps you are stepping into a new religion, learning about new religions, becoming a meditator, or getting more in touch with your higher self or spirit guides this year. You’ll find that you also desire peace and sanctuary more too. This is one of the perfect placements for when you need guidance and messages from your guides because you are more than willing to connect with them. There is also the possibility that you are willing to learn much more in general. You might engage in learning new things on your own. Perhaps you found new academic opportunities such as joining a college or enrolling in a new class. You could feel the urge to travel as well.

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jupiter in the 10th house

This year is the year you’ll find abundance and expansion in your reputation, image, and career life. It is notable that you’ll more likely find better career opportunities within the year. Perhaps you get a job promotion and land a new job with better payments. You could have a chance to expand your career as well. If you own a business, you are more than able to expand your business success and popularity. In regards to your reputation, your image is in luck because you’ll notice that you are more popular and this could help with any venture you are pursuing. This placement is great for fame in extreme cases.

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Jupiter in the 11th house

This is an indication that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your goals, friendships, and dreams. It is possible that you have more prominent goals than usual and you will benefit from these goals directly. There’s an opportunity to go after this goal only after a significant sacrifice in an area of the individual’s life. There is a possibility you will have to fight for what you want, but since luck is on your side in this area, it’ll be much easier and worth it. You’ll also find that your social life is more apparent. You might gain new friends or your friend group is more stable and tranquil right now.

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Jupiter in the 12th house

This shows that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your spiritual self, unconscious, and hidden parts of yourself. This placement indicates that the universe will most likely have your back entirely this year. You’ll feel more connected with your higher self and your spirit guides. Your shadow work journey, discovering ignored parts of yourself, self-discovery journey could be significantly easier to go through and deal with since the universe can give you more apparent messages during this year. At the same time, you are more willing to dive into those parts of yourself even without the help. Self-isolation for concentration for oneself is common.

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[it-happened-one-fic]

Such a Privilege - Leona

Author Notes: This fic just kind of flew together while I was killing time. There isn't actually much to say about it other than I am rather pleased with how snarky some of the dialogue turned out. As per usual, reader is gender neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ fluff/ flirtation/ post Octavinelle chapter

Word Count: 1125

Leona had a bad habit. One that you’d initially discovered when you’d been staying with him in the Savannaclaw dorm while the Octatrio had held Ramshackle dorm for ransom. You had not, however, realized exactly how bad his habit was until more recently.

The issue was quite simple. Leona got cuddly when he was sleepy, and the problem only increased tenfold when he was actually asleep.

When you’d been staying in his room at Savannaclaw, it hadn’t really been that big of a deal. It had just meant that, after moving from the couch to his bed due to Grim’s bad habit of scratching things in his sleep and Leona’s declaration that his couch was not getting destroyed by your talking cat, you’d had to get used to waking up in the Housewarden’s embrace. 

Which wasn’t exactly an unpleasant thing considering this was Leona you were dealing with. After all, he was surprisingly good at giving some of the best hugs, and said hugs were usually impossible to receive.

The two of you’d had an unspoken agreement that neither of you would speak of the nightly cuddles during that entire time, and everything had been fine. Delightful, even.

But then, after everything had been resolved and you were back in Ramshackle, you’d taken to studying in the botanical garden near Leona’s napping spot.

You’d grown fond of the lion beastman in an odd sort of way during your stay with him, and you didn’t actually get to see him very often, so it had seemed like a good plan. You got to spend time with Leona and had a quiet place to study. What more could a Prefect want?

Truthfully speaking, you hadn’t even noticed when the young man had begun creeping your way. Growing steadily closer until it was too late.

Arms wrapped around your waist, steadily tightening as you realized, far too late, what was happening. Leona’s head pressed first against your hip and then, with a disgruntled snort, shifted until your lap had been claimed as his makeshift pillow.

You stared in surprise at the now relaxed young man, who seemed perfectly content now that you were officially his cushion.

But his content came at a steep price. You weren’t going to get any worthwhile studying done with Leona snoozing away on your lap, and you were most certainly trapped.

Waking Leona was no easy task, and the outcome probably wouldn’t be to your advantage, what with the importance of letting sleeping lions lie and all that. Ruggie could attest to that simple truth, and this wasn’t the first time this had happened.

In fact, this had been happening ever since you’d started studying in the botanical garden.

You briefly frowned at the prince, snoozing away on your lap, before sighing and resolving yourself to do the only thing you could do and amuse yourself with the source of your problem.

Besides, even if he complained, you could cite it as his nap tax.

Your hands slid into his soft, healthy-feeling hair easily, and your eyes widened as his head rolled back into your palm slightly. Almost like he was encouraging you to continue toying with the chocolatey strands that smoothly slid between your fingers. 

You smiled to yourself as he somehow relaxed further the longer you massaged his scalp until your gaze shifted, landing on his fluffy-looking ears, and you felt a grin creep across your face.

You hesitated only briefly before carefully reaching out and carefully rubbing your thumb over the back of his ear. 

They were velvety, and you felt your eyes go wide at exactly how pettable Leona, of all people, was. 

His ears twitched slightly at your touch, and you felt yourself freeze. Your gaze darting back to his face, only to find him continuing to snooze away. Peaceful and utterly unaware of your actions.

You smiled again, shrugging to yourself slightly as you went back toying with his hair. Amusing yourself even as you remain trapped as his pillow and idly considering how the young man would react if you were to undo his braids and redo his hairstyle.

 You only went still when Leona shifted. Rolling over to look up at you with far too much amusement shining in his bright green eyes for you to feel totally comfortable.

You stared down at him in silence and he only seemed to grow more amused the longer the silence between the two of you stretched. To be honest, though, you felt like a child who’d been caught with their hand in a cookie jar, while he looked like you’d fallen for some sort of carefully laid trap. 

That feeling of having been caught was only made worse when he finally spoke, words slipping from his mouth in an all-too-smug tone, “Nothing to say?”

You twitched as he broke the silence before frowning and slowly retracting your hands, “You’re the one who suddenly decided to use me as a pillow. What was I supposed to do?”

He yawned, showing no signs of moving, “I thought you were studying?”

Amusement continued to flicker in the emerald depths of his eyes as you stared at him incredulously. Hardly able to believe what you were hearing, “With you snoozing away on my lap? Like I would get anything done that way.”

He smirked almost immediately at your words, and you tensed as he began to speak, bracing for whatever it was that he was about to say, “So I’m too distracting for you?”

You looked away, not wanting to agree as you rolled your eyes. “Oh, yes. Completely,” Sarcasm dripped from your tone, but Leona hardly seemed phased.

He did, however, at long last sit up. Snorting to himself before twisting so that he could continue to face you, “Well, did you at least enjoy yourself, Herbivore? Not too many get to do that.”

The implication was clear: he’d let you toy with his hair, and pet his ears even though most would never be allowed to do such a thing.

But despite that, as your gaze slid back towards him, a grin was already creeping across your face, “Be his Royal Majesty’s pillow, you mean? I didn’t realize it was such a privilege.”

He merely continued to grin at your deliberate misinterpretation of your words as you continued. Tilting your head in amusement as you finished, “I doubt that’ll be the last time that happens anyway.”

He shifted only slightly, angling his body so that he dipped into your personal space as he lifted his chin with a smirk, “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?”

You snorted slightly, your eyebrows lifting in amusement, before you gave the slightest of nods, “I guess so.”

[deathbxnny]

helloo, platonic aventurine, sunday and jing yuan with a teen!reader like ai hoshino?

(reader is a talented and captivating idol/singer, but outside of their idol persona they are sort of empty, trying to understand love and often doing self-destructive things while doing so)

Hey there, Anon! Thank you for your request, and I'm sorry this took so long! Life sucks as usual, lol. Anyways, I hope you'll like this!<33

Content: Hurt/comfort, angst, platonic relationships, potential mentions of depression and themes surrounding that, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!!

((Not proofread))

》SUNDAY

Sunday already knew alot about the life of an idol through his own sister being one. But this also meant that he could look right through you with ease. Hiding your true feelings from him was impossible, but that also meant that he wouldn't confront you about it immideately. He simply observes your downfall in this suffocating and fast lifestyle before finally pulling you aside to see what the real issue is.

He sympathises with you deeply, mainly due to your young age and him knowing how hard it is to uphold a perfect appearance all the time. He keeps an eye on you closely, not letting you drown in your self-destructive methods, no matter how hard you fight him on the matter. He knows there is only just so much you can take before you break completely, after all.

Sunday eventually forces you to take a break from everything, where he takes you under his wing and essentially nurses you back into a healthy mental space. Whether he uses his abilities or not is really up to how well you respond to this, but he won't let you return to your life as an idol until he's convinced of your improvement.

》AVENTURINE

Aventurine could also easily see through your facade, mainly because, in a way, he very much related to you. You were young, forced into this fast life as an idol that seemed to only spiral downwards until you were barely able to keep up your perfectly strained smile. He understood you. He really did, which is why he wanted to help you in the first place. But he knew it wouldn't be an easy task at all.

You were hellbent on concealing your self-destructive ways, the question of what truly meant and felt like always hanging over your head, heavy on your young shoulders. He'd reach his hand out for you, offering to help you out of this hole life has unfairly dug for you, promising that it won't hurt your idol life. Unless escaping is what you wanted.

He becomes somewhat of a mentor/big brother figure to you, someone you can come to when the days get too dark and you need a bit of light to guide you back to the exit. He knows that with time, you'd eventually be able to deal with things on your own. But for now, he'll be there for you, just the way he wished someone would've been there for him all those years ago.

》JING YUAN

Jing Yuan is rather sly, yet at the same time, very stern with his approach to your obvious self-destructive demise. He knew from the start that your life as an idol would be plagued with uncertainties and sadness that a young teen like you could never handle on your own for long. But he waits for you to come to him first, like you knew you could. He didn't want to assume wrong and anger you, after all.

He doesn't have to wait for long, however, as you eventually break and come to him with the near ashamed plea of wanting to take a break and get help from everything that has been plaguing your young mind. The life of an idol wasn't easy, and he knew that, which is why he simply obliged and announced to the Luofu that you'd be taking an indefinite break from everything. Your happy-go-lucky attitude had been completely demolished by then, the guilt killing you, and yet he still didn't let you slip through his fingers and sink any further.

It doesn't matter how long it takes. You'll eventually come back to singing in much better health than ever before one way or another, him cheering you on quietly with a content smile from afar.

Alright, Anon... I'm sorry if this isn't good, I've been super busy with everything lately, so I hope this is alright!! Thank you again for the request!!<33

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

Could I just like make a request about the jojos having a darling who does literally everything to stay away. Like they come up with the dumbest excuses or do dumb stuff just to stay away

woot woot, this’ll be my first thing with Jodio hopefully I can write him correctly before doing headcanons. Sort of more of a reaction thingy but hope it satisfies, since I’m trying to get back into a groove of things.

Jonathan

His heart flutters hearing you stumble on excuses, he can tell you’re lying but he doesn’t mention this. Though he finds it in your best interest to have someone looking out for you, in the end. Whatever little thing you busy yourself with, he finds a way to come around. Sometimes it just happens to align with his father’s request to fetch something. Just maybe he twists things around to something you like, even if it only keeps you around for a few extra seconds.

Joseph

The biggest trickster there is, it’s near impossible to try and get out of anything with Joseph. “Mmm, you already used that one” He gives you a quick wink. He knows where you hang out mostly, and can easily tell if you’re not the “ruffian” type. If you’re a bit snarky yourself, he does his best to make you slip up. Or if he’s really determined waste enough time that you don’t have to bother with that other “task” you had to do.

Jotaro

Blunt. To put it lightly, Yare Yare leaves his lips as soon as you stumble through an excuse. He knows how efficiently you may or may not get things done. Anything you’re usually not fond of makes him raise an eyebrow (immediate suspicion if it’s possibly just to impress some other person). It almost feels like an interrogation when he asks the sudden interest in whatever you spilled out. Forget trying to do anything dumb, fib or otherwise he’s not letting you do it. Even if you do manage to slip off and go out on your own, Jotaro is around somewhere.

Josuke

Similar to Joseph he’s pretty on top of silly excuses, because he’s probably made up a thing or two himself. The best course of action for him is making up an excuse himself to get into whatever you made up on the fly. If you ask, he tells you he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. Even if it’s obvious he’s lying to you, he makes it nigh impossible to leave “hey that’s what you said you were doing”.

Giorno

He definitely knows the ins and outs about you, so lying won’t likely get you very far. Besides every little excuse you do make, he seems to always have a counter for. It’s almost freaky, if you don’t know how much Giorno negotiates. Though there’s times he let’s you go on the basis of a flimsy lie. Rest assured though something goes missing and it always leads back to him. Anything out of the ordinary for you is promptly taken care of, “That’s a rather interesting way to try to keep away from me” He’d tell you in a friendly tone.

Jolyne

Like her father she can be pretty blunt herself, even insists it’s not a great idea to stray too far. The little excuses you make are intriguing to her, but she counters with her own plans. Sometimes she’ll get you lipstick and see if you’ll wear it out later, depending on what you told her you were supposedly doing that day. Little runarounds with you keep her on her toes making sure you don’t run off. Simple things like getting you to spend extra time with her, with her own little excuses. Eventually there might be a time your handcuffed to her bed, for a day or two. “Don’t you ever get tired of making up stuff? It’d just be easier being here with me you know, I’ve got your back”

Johnny

He’s rather scary when you make up something on the fly to avoid him. His blue eyes bore into your soul, unless he uses spin there’s usually nothing much he can do. As he improves however, the space between the two of you slowly shrinks. Johnny makes it certain one way or another your attention is drawn back to himself. He notes everything you do, so if you don’t “have” something he either has an extra or absolutely knows you have an item. Similar likely happens with your horses habits. If he’s determined he manages to pin you under him. He merely mumbles “Stay” at a little too close for comfort distance.

Josuke (Part 8)

He’s curious at some of the excuses you make here and there. Or hearing about things you’d usually wouldn’t do. He’s not dumb obviously, so he asks if there’s a reason you’re avoiding him. The possible roundabout answers you give, don’t really satisfy. It is cute you’re nervous about it though. He may just simply ignore some of the things you tell him to try and keep your distance. Josuke wants to see you anyway, if he can’t he might try and call just to test if you’re at a certain place. “There’s nothing that can convince me to keep away” He’d tell you at one point or another.

Jodio

“Li~ar, liar~” At least this is what happens when you come up with something on the fly. Admittedly he’s busy with trying to get rich, but since he likes you on a level enough to significantly care. The things you tell him don’t quite match up. It’s not really hard to tell you’re avoiding him, he might even put that out bluntly. He’ll show up randomly when you least expect it, he might swipe something from a friend or delay a meetup somehow. “I don’t really care about whoever else you hang out with ya’ kno~w, it only should be a me and you thing”.

“Just don’t get used to thinking you can avoid me all the time”

[shanniethewr]

"so love me. show me that you mean it."

"pardon?" lyney said, wide eyes speaking volumes of his bewilderment. you stood in front of him, remaining unfazed as the two of you spoke in the empty backstage of the opera epiclese, where no one would disturb the conversation you two held.

"you said you love me, didn't you?" purple clashes with yours, "yet you kept so many things from me... to think you'd be part of the fatui out of every organization...!" your voice trembled, so did your hands as your nails dug against your palms. lyney wanted to speak, his lips moved yet no voice could be heard.

"you promised to fix things between us... you promised to heal me, to gain back my trust! but after the events lately, i don't think it's possible to trust you again so easily." lyney's voice came, "i- i know... and i know that an apology wouldn't fix things so easily..."

tears adorned your eyes, threatening to fall yet you don't let yourself shed a tear. "so show me that you mean it. no more lies, no more deception... i don't want the lyney who had kept so much from me. i don't want the lyney who wasn't the actual lyney i knew to the point i questioned every aspect of our relationship if it was genuine or not."

"and i don't want us back if you don't trust me enough to tell me everything about you like i trusted you wholeheartedly with my life on the line..."

lyney stood frozen in front of you, a myriad of emotions ran wild to the point he wasn't able to identify the suffocating feeling he was experiencing. you were his rose, his beloved rose. but all roses have thorns, and your thorns have crushed his heart in your hold.

but you were right, to an extent that all lyney wished was to go back and make everything right, to show that he actually loves you. but time was irreversible, and he shouldn't be wishing to fix the broken past, as fixing the shattered pieces of diamond was nearly impossible.

he should be fixing the present, his and your relationship.

lyney remembered it like yesterday, the order he received from his "father" to watch you, observe you, and to deceive you.

he remembered nothing but the mission in mind, to him, you were nothing but a task, a job lyney had to finish.

the interactions, conversations, and moments you two shared slowly increased to something becoming more frequent. yet to lyney, all he had in mind was his "father's" mission.

and like the quick flow of time, like clockwork, your relationship became more than just prey and predator. to lyney, you began to be more than just a task, a mission.

a friend, a loved one.

and suddenly, like the quick turn of pages in a book, you two became so much more than a close friend. lips on lips, skin on skin. loving affirmations were exchanged and the cob had found its pen, two lovers resembling those of swans, genuine and beautiful.

but everything went too quick, the prophecy, the primordial sea, the serial disappearances of young women, and the trial. and lyney faces the broken string of his and your relationship, the very thing he feared and wished for it to become nothing but a fleeting thought, a fleeting nightmare.

"i promise i will, no matter what. to me, you are my rose, my beloved. i didn't want things to end up like this but as they say, the harsh truth will all come to light. i'm... i'm so sorry and i know i deserve this but i will do everything to fix us... i cannot bear the thought of us no longer being together but i promise... i promise that i will do it, to fix this mess. so, please... trust me like you've always had and i'll tell you everything, trust me and i'll show that i truly, truly love you."

lyney didn't even noticed the tears that cascaded down his cheeks, smudging the tear drop on his cheek as his shoulders trembled. archons, he just wished everything was normal, all lyney wished was to have everything back to how it was before. he would do anything, anything to have you back in his arms.

moments felt like hours, years even. but lyney gasped upon feeling your arms wrap around him, feeling your tears on his chest as you too, weep.

with hesitance, lyney pulled you into a tight embrace, having no intention of letting go soon as you two quietly cried in each other's arms.

tonight, after a stunning magic show was spent in the empty backstage where the dam had broken along with two lotuses emerging after, a symbol of two lovers getting back up, far stronger and beautiful than ever.

you can't separate two swans who had become each other's mates after all.

— © wr.shannie created on 9.03.23 finished on 9.03.23

( lowercase intended + not proofread )

do NOT copy or plagiarize my work!!

[willalove75]

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 6 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Lady Dimitrescu brings you in as one of her maids, at least, that's what you thought she brought you to the castle for.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: flirty, fluff, slow burn, smut, angst.

Notes: Part 6! The angst, SO MUCH ANGST. I think this is the least amount of dialogue I've ever had in a fic so I hope you all like it💕 Do I want to stay up all night and write chapter 7 right now? Yes. Holy shit yes. But I have stupid 'sponserbilities and adulting to do so part 7 will have to wait until next week. Until then, please enjoy this angsty as fuck chapter💕💕

Click here for the rest of the series

It struck you as odd that Alcina said you were to be by her side at all times, yet you barely saw her over the last few days. You were either in your room or with the girls; a couple of times you felt like Zina was tasked with babysitting you while you followed her around the castle, helping her with some of her duties. You haven't even been into your Mistresses chambers or her study since you got the concussion. Every time you did see Alcina, she didn't act like she normally does when she's around you, she seemed colder, more distant. That was apparent when you went to the dining hall the night of the incident and instead of being seated next to Alcina like you usually were, your chair was at the opposite end of the long dining table. Alcina barely looked at you, you thought maybe she just had a rough day and you tried to not think too much into it; but every time you've had a meal with them since, your chair was placed as far away from her as possible.

It was impossible for the thoughts to not flood your mind, wondering if you did something wrong, if maybe she was finally bored with you, if you just weren't living up to her expectations? She hasn't relieved you of your duties and she hasn't brought any other maids into her chambers, at least that you're aware of. The thought of her bringing another maid into her bed made your stomach twist with jealousy, but not rage. It was mostly just sadness, disappointment, heartbreak even. You hoped she wasn't, but truth be told you really had no idea and the thought haunted you a little.

The girls noticed a difference in their mother too, but they didn't dare talk to you about it, and you respected that. That didn't stop you from overhearing them mention that Alcina has been more agitated and easily angered lately. She damn near took a maids head off when the maid tripped in front of her. The maid was fine, traumatized for sure when Alcina whipped out her claws and threatened the poor girl with them, but physically unharmed.

Alcina's week has been anything but relaxing, she's done everything she possibly could to avoid you minus locking you away in your room. She tried her hardest to avoid looking at you during meals, seating you on the opposite end of the table. Being directly across from her made trying not to look at you difficult but she managed to ignore you for the most part. There were definitely a few stolen glances, but every time she caught herself looking at you she pried her eyes away and tried to distract herself with something else.

She noticed the look in your eyes during the last few meals, a look of sadness, confusion, uncertainty. Alcina brushed it off and did her best to keep the guilt from eating away at her. Her vices were her crutch during these trying times, she's been smoking nearly twice as much and drinking at least a bottle of her wine a day, sometimes two. The only vice she hasn't been able to satisfy was the sexual frustration that's been pent up inside of her. At this point she might as well be avoiding you because the minute she talks to you, she might just throw you onto her bed and ravage you, the complete opposite of what she feels like she has to do. She's been horny, but hasn't been able to bring herself to take another maid into her chambers. Instead her pent up frustrations have been released in bursts of unbridled anger.

It's not that Alcina really wants to avoid you, to shut you out, to put every feeling she has towards you into a box and never touch it again; she feels like she has to. Not only to protect you, but more for her own protection. She hasn't let herself get close to anyone since she was human, years before she was infected with the cadou and was mutated. The walls she built only got bigger and stronger once she was turned into what she is today, only letting her daughters in once they came to her. You managed to climb over and break down so many of her walls so effortlessly it terrified her, but the companionship was nice and she enjoyed caring for someone other than the girls, plus, she genuinely began to like you.

As soon as she realized how attached she was becoming, she bolted. Between Stefana and Mother Miranda, especially Mother Miranda, coming after you, wanting to cause you harm, she couldn't bear the thought of it. It was as if someone threatened to rip her heart out of her chest, a feeling she was not only completely not used to, but something that made her feel more vulnerable than she's ever experienced before. Every day since she began avoiding you she's had to convince herself that what she's doing is for the best.

After lunch you asked the girls to take you into the library, which Daniela happily agreed to, the other two followed out of obligation to their mother's orders. Daniela enjoyed the same kind of books as you, romance novels for the most part, some fantasy. She also enjoyed thrillers, but after one night of terrible nightmares that were brought on by reading her "It", you both decided it was best if she read those by herself. You began piling a few books you and Daniela picked out on one of the tables while the girls bickered as usual. Once you were satisfied with your selections you went to find the girls to head back to your room.

"Daniela? Bela? Cass?" You call out for them as you walk around the library. "Are you guys still here?"

After walking around for a minute and unable to hear them arguing, or even the buzzing of flies, you call out for them again; searching between the bookshelves in case they were just playing a game.

In one of the chaise lounges near the window you see Alcina laying across it, her head resting on her hand, invested in the book she's reading. Her eyes shift up to you as you come around the shelf.

"Oh, hi, sorry. I didn't know you were here." You nervously say. "I was looking for the girls."

Her gorgeous gold eyes stare into yours for a few moments, you try and see if you can gauge any kind of reaction in them but they're like stone. They shift back down to her book and she continues to read, as if you already walked away, or as if you were never there to begin with.

You feel a pain in your chest when she acts like you don't exist. It's taking all of the self restraint in your body to not break down and grab her face and ask her what you did wrong, begging for forgiveness for something that might not even exist. Instead you settle for asking if she needs anything, anything to make her speak to you.

"Is there anything you need me to do?"

Her eyes leave the page and snap up to yours, an intensity in them that hasn't been directed at you in a while. She closes the book in her hand and stands, you crane your neck and follow her eyes up, desperate for something, anything. Even if she just screamed at you, at least she'll have spoken to you. A lump in your throat grows as she turns and walks away without saying a word.

Closing your eyes in defeat, you stand there for a minute, gathering the strength to keep the tears you feel building at bay. You go back to your search for the girls, a swarm eventually showing up in the middle of the library.

"I'm so sorry!" Daniela cries and wraps her arms around you.

"What? What happened?"

"We left you!"

"It's okay," you laugh "I'm fine, I had a feeling one of you were gonna show up eventually."

Daniela looks at you, she has a small smile on her face but guilt in her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay kiddo, I'm not upset or mad, we're good, no worries." The guilt in her eyes fade and her smile grows. "Want to go read one of these?" You ask, picking up the stack.

"YES!" She squeals.

In a flash there's a swarm of flies surrounding you and lifting you off of the ground.

"Oh my god!" You yell as you laugh.

Daniela flies the both of you to your room at lightening speed, you're surprised and grateful you managed to hold onto the stack of books the whole way there. She sets you down onto your feet and emerges next to you from the swarm.

She picks out one of the books and you read to her until dinner. When the dinner bell rings Daniela whines, not wanting you to put the book down. Reluctantly, she gets up and swarms out and you follow her to the dining room.

The girls appear in their seats in the dining room as you walk in, you see your chair at the opposite end of the table, the same place its been for the last week, and you take your seat.

The maids bring out your meals, you quietly thank the maid who puts your meal down in front of you and you stare at it for a moment. What's the point of having every meal with them every day if she's just going to ignore you? There's a part of you that wants to get up and go back into your room, but you fight against the urge.

The clinking of silverware against the plates pulls you out of your thoughts and you quietly eat, although your hunger is suddenly gone.

"How was your day girls?" Alcina says. You look up and see her looking at her daughters, not even acknowledging your existence.

"Our hunt this morning was a lot of fun!" Bela says.

"Yeah, I killed so many lycans, I even got a deer!"

"Hey! I helped!" Daniela says.

"Yeah, barely."

They begin to argue over the subject and Alcina clears her throat and gives them both a look and they immediately drop it.

"Y/n started reading this really good book to me!" Daniela says with excitement in her voice.

You notice Alcina's face drop a little when she hears your name, you feel your heart drop as you watch. She gently smiles at Daniela, hiding her reaction.

"That's wonderful draga."

Your heart feels like it's in your stomach, you've barely touched your food and Bela notices.

"Do you not like it y/n?" She asks.

"Oh, no" you say, snapping out of your trance. "No it's delicious, I'm just not very hungry."

Your eyes meet Alcinas for a second and she looks away, crushing you even more.

After dinner you head to your room and read for a little while. Your stomach begins to growl and you get up and open your door, hoping to find a maid or one of the girls. Luckily you see a maid walking through the hall with cleaning supplies in her hand.

"Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you get one of the girls for me?" It's well known that you're not allowed to go anywhere by yourself now so the maid nods her head and walks off.

A few minutes later a swarm appears in your room.

"You rang?" You hear Bela say as she emerges from the swarm.

"Yeah, sorry, want to come down to the kitchen with me? I'm starting to get hungry."

"What is with you lately? You seem, weird. You and mom seem weird."

"I'm fine, just an off week I guess." You shrug.

"Okay," she says, unconvinced. "Lets go."

The two of you go into the kitchen and you whip up a quick sandwich and eat it as you both head back to your room. Once you get up the stairs Bela turns to you.

"Do I need to walk the extra 50 feet with you or can you manage not getting killed?" She teases.

"I'll be fine, thanks Bela."

She heads off in the opposite direction as you head towards your room.

As you walk past Alcina's door it opens and you see one of the new maids walk out. Her face is flush, her hair is messy, her legs are shaking and she looks mortified when she sees you. Your heart sinks into the bottom of your stomach, you know what caused the maids disheveled look, you know what just took place in Alcina's chambers. Looking up you see Alcina, who's surprised to see you as she wasn't expecting you to be outside of her door; you think you see shame in her eyes but your vision starts to become blurry as tears filled your eyes. You run into your room and shut the door without saying a word to either of them.

Hot tears flow into your pillow as you curl up in bed and sob. You're heartbroken and mad, mad at Alcina for providing such a false sense of security, mad at yourself for not listening and for getting attached. Zina was right, about everything. She'll make you feel special, but she really doesn't care about you, you're replaceable, disposable to her, just a plaything. A toy to use for her own enjoyment until she gets bored and wants something new to play with.

Unlike Stefana, you're not mad at the maid, you know it's not her fault, you don't even feel the urge to lash out at her. You're more upset at Alcina, not just for making you feel special and ripping it all away from you, but for not even giving you the curtesy of telling you. No warning, nothing. One day she's protecting you, from two different people and nursing you back to health, and the very next day its like you never existed.

Heartbroken, you cry into your pillow until you tire yourself out and finally fall asleep.

With some rare free time, Alcina decides to go to the library and find a new book to read. She picks up a book that peaked her interest and begins to read the first few pages. Immediately drawn in, she abandons her plans to read in her chambers and sits down on the closest thing to her, a chaise lounge in the corner by the window. Noises fill the library, but her attention is glued to the book so she pays them no mind. Her attention wasn't drawn away from her book until she sees something moving in front of her over the edge of her book, she looks up and sees you.

Surprised, she masks her emotions as she looks into your eyes. The knot in her stomach grows, she hears you speak but doesn't respond. Hoping you'll just leave, she turns her attention back to her book, although she can't focus at all with you standing in front of her.

"Is there anything you need me to do?"

Her eyes snap up into yours when she hears your shaking voice, she anticipates seeing fear in your eyes, she's a little taken back when she sees desperation, a deep sadness instead. An internal battle in her mind wages on, part of her just wants to wrap you in her arms and hold you, the other part just wants to pretend you don't exist. Realizing she's staring for too long she closes her book and stands up, there's a small second where she almost gives in to her desire, but she stays steadfast with her plan; she says nothing and walks away.

The look in your eyes haunts her as she makes her way back to her chambers. She tosses the book on her bed and walks up to her vanity and grabs the edge, lowering her head she pushes everything she's feeling back into its box. With her frustration and tension at an all time high she decides to try and provide some relief for herself.

She removes her hat and gloves and makes herself comfortable in her bed. With her eyes closed she pulls up her dress and slides her hand between her legs. After a few minutes of finding absolutely no relief, she gets up and goes into her wardrobe and grabs her favorite toy. This one always seems to do the trick and she's desperately hoping it doesn't fail her. She works the toy in and out of her and her anger only grows; she might as well not be touching herself because that would give her just about the same amount of pleasure that she's getting right now.

More frustrated than ever, she chucks the toy against the wall and lays back down, staring at the ceiling. In her head she goes over a list of maids she can bring into her chambers, every time she tries to picture one in bed with her, they always turn into you. Her frustration reaches its peak and she hears the dinner bell ring. A low growl rumbles in her chest and she gets up, places her hat back on her head, slides her gloves back on and makes her way down to the dining room.

She manages to avoid looking at you for the majority of the meal, focusing her attention on her plate and her girls. It wasn't until Daniela mentioned your name when she felt a sinking feeling in her heart. In an instant she pushes the feeling away, hoping you didn't witness her moment of weakness. Bela mentions that you barely touched your food and she quickly glances at your plate. It hasn't been touched except for one or two bites, you've just been pushing the rest around mindlessly.

Once dinner ends Alcina quickly makes her way back to her chambers. As she's walking through the halls she spots one of her newer maids. A cute, sweet looking girl, she can't be more than 20. Alcina doesn't know her name, and truth be told she doesn't really care to. All she knows is that the girl is quiet and does a decent job on the tasks she's assigned.

Usually when she talks to a maid about coming into her chambers she's flirtatious, mysterious, she likes to toy with the girls for a little bit, but tonight, Alcina doesn't have the patience.

Alcina walks up to the girl, who immediately looks terrified. Bending down to come off as less intimidating, Alcina speaks softly to the girl, but her demeanor doesn't change. If anything, she's more afraid now that the Lady is nearly eye-level with her. If she wasn't so pent up with frustrations Alcina would make a mental note to try and come off as less intimidating, but she's too focused on finding any kind of relief to even think about anything else.

With the girl finally in her chambers, Alcina lays with her on the bed and softly kisses her. It annoys her that the girl doesn't soften up at all, she's stiff as a board with fear, even after Alcina repeatedly tried to ease her fears, it was no use, so she continues anyway. It's not that the maiden was unwilling, Alcina told her she can tell her to stop at any time and she would, whether or not the maid believed her, or was too terrified to speak up was another story. Although if the maids drenched panties were any indication, Alcina had a feeling she was fine with it, probably just terrified that she was going to kill her. The girls soft cries as she came almost made Alcina finish without even being touched. She's never been this desperate before.

Alcina laid next to the maiden on her bed and pulled up her dress and removed her panties and ordered the girl between her legs. Nervous at first, the girl seem scattered, but after some praising and reassuring moans she found her rhythm and within minutes Alcina was cumming all over her face and hand. At the height of her orgasm she thought of you, she almost called out your name but bit down hard on her lip to stop it from slipping out. As she was recovering she looked down at the maiden between her legs and for a fleeting second, was disappointed it wasn't you. It was getting harder and harder to get you out of her head and she wasn't sure if she would be able to take much more of it. She felt as if trying to ignore you so much just made you more irresistible to her, it frustrated her to no end.

The maiden cleaned herself up and Alcina led her to the door for her to leave. Alcina opened the door and froze, there you were, standing right in front of her, walking back to your room. The look in your eyes when you saw the maiden, the way you immediately knew what had just happened almost broke Alcina. She's never felt shame like this before in her life and the guilt practically swallowed her whole. Alcina wasn't even able to hide the look of shame on her face when you looked up at her, the feeling only got worse when she saw the tears building up in your eyes.

She would have been grateful that you ran off if it didn't cause her so much physical pain in her chest seeing you that way. Knowing that she was the cause of your pain, she couldn't even think about it. The maiden stood there frozen, unsure of what to do. Alcina bent down and put her lips to her ear.

"Thank you sweetling." She said, petting her head.

The maiden took that as her cue to leave which Alcina was grateful for because she didn't have the patience or the constitution to keep herself together for much longer.

With the maiden on her way Alcina closed the door and stood there for a moment with her hand against it. She could hear your heartbeat in the room next door, she could hear you quiet sobs as you cried into your pillow. Out of all of the horrific screams and sounds she's heard in her life, hearing you crying, because of what she did to you, was once of the worst sounds she's ever heard. Alcina somberly got herself ready for bed and laid down, pulling the duvet over her. She listened to you cry until your heartbeat finally settled, letting her know that you finally fell asleep.

Alcina can't remember the last time she cried, but for the first time in years, tears escaped from her gold eyes and plummeted onto her pillow.

[vaguely-concerned]

listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.

I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.

and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.

(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)

basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.

the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.

instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.

it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight

[betasquads]

CARE FOR YOU, Niko Omilana

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summary: Niko and some of his friends, Sharky, Aj, and your brother, Dylan, decide to go to an arcade as a small hangout. Niko thought it'd be a great idea to invite you since your birthday was coming up. Obviously his friends and your brother are annoyed by Niko inviting you, even though you were friends with all of them aswell. Not that they hated you, they wanted to be together alone for a day. You had a huge crush on Niko, so you easily accepted it. Well, not everything goes according to your plan.

some important things i have to say before you start reading: they're all around the age of 22 here except you, you're 19 turning 20. + they aren't famous in this.

warnings: you'll actually feel second hand embarrassment. dk if it's a warning but there.

Sounds of people talking and screaming in excitement was heard and the warm air hits you once you made your way inside. A wide grin forms on your face when you observe each part of this place.

"This will be really fun." You nudge your brother's arm and he just sends you a bored look at towards you.

"Yeah sure, let's just go find them." You roll your eyes at his bland tone and you follow him while observing the entire place.

Living alone, not having any parents, and your brother living alone aswell, made it sometimes impossible to have the time of your life or go out on weekends. It was like something was holding you back from doing what you wanted to do. You just had no energy for it.

But today, hopefully spending sometime with them especially with a special someone would maybe push you to go out and do things in your life other than spending time alone in your apartment.

"There they are." Dylan points towards your left and they make their way to the siblings as they greet Dylan.

You stands there with a smile despite the feeling of awkwardness that you had felt when they didn't even bother to greet you. When Niko finishes his small talk with Dylan, he's the only one who seems to care about your presence as he engulfs you in a hug.

"Hey Niko." You say against his black sweater when his arms wrap around your waist and your hands goes around his neck which he had to lean down a little so you could reach.

"Hey." You hear a small chuckle from him as he gives small rubs against the small off your exposed back which sent a huge amount of electric volts down to your stomach. He also felt it, and in this postion, he never wanted to let go.

When he disconnects the hug he turns around and began talking to the rest of them which you really didn't think much off.

They've been walking around for a few minutes and they'd make jokes together and you would laugh but barely even talk.

You were at least spending time with your favorite person, seeing him laugh or just do a simple task, would make you go crazy.

"Before we start playing I really need to use the lavatory." Sharky says and they all nod and agreed that they had wanted to go aswell, well, except for you.

Niko turns to you and nods at you, "Do you wanna go? Im fine with staying outside with you to wait until these guys finish their business–"

"No its okay, i wanna fix up." You shrug, actually wanting to fix up since the moment you entered the arcade. You would've loved if you had a few minutes with Niko, but you really needed to see if your makeup was ruined already.

He looked a little disappointed by the answer but nods either way and informs you and the rest that he'll be waiting for everyone. You walk for a few minutes until you've finally find the public restroom after almost being lost trying to find it. You go to the ladies side and immediately set your purse and phone aside.

You reapplied your lipstick since your lips seemed to have looked a bit dry and then you ran your fingers through your hair to even it out.

A few minutes pass by and it seems like you must've taken a little too long just trying to fix yourself. You take your belongings and you go outside and surprisingly, none of them were even outside yet.

You hum silently and you pull your airpods out to listen to something while they finish doing their thing.

—

20 minutes pass, and they're still not even outside which makes you visibly confused. You get up from the bench that was right next to the bathroom. This has to be some sort of joke, right?! You thought.

Remembering Niko's words about him saying that he'll wait outside, but no sight of him here ever since you came out.

You sit back down, thoughts running widly in your head. Then your heart drops, they didn't forget about you did they? You were in the restroom for only about 7 minutes, why would they leave?

You could feel tears forming from the way you felt that familiar stinging in your face, feeling humiliation that they would all leave you like this.

There was no way they were in there, because you knew they'd only take like 5 minutes to do their buisness. But now that it's been 22 minutes, You already knew. They forgot about you.

You were practically forced into this hangout since Niko was the only person who wanted you here, but none of the rest did. But did he actually even want you here if he forgot that you were even there with them?

You scoff at the fact that they didn't even bother to leave you a message like, 'Hey we'll be assholes and leave you alone. Have fun all by yourself! '

You get up from the bench and your shaking hands place your phone inside of your purse. The thoughts running in your head like, ' What'd you expect when no one wanted you here? '

You practically lost 50 minutes of you life being fooled, and you couldn't forgive herself for even thinking about going out with them when all of them hated the idea of you being with them.

—

You decided to order subway from the food court so you could eat it in your apartment, since you had no food there anyway.

While you turn towards the exit, you spot all of them laughing at something except for Dylan that seems to not be there with them. Niko's the only one who just seems to have noticed you, his eyes wide and yours just staring at him in a bored and bland way.

You scoffs and you shake your head in a disrespectful way to indicate that you were feeling hurt.

You turn the opposite way even though you knew there was nowhere to go except home and the exit was on the side where they all stood.

But before you could even take another step, You feel someone gripping your shoulder to stop you from walking any further.

"What? Seriously, what?" You didn't know where this came from, but it left your mouth without a warning when she turns aggressively to look at him.

"I swear, I tried to call you multiple times. Im so sor–"

She scoffs at him and she makes sure that it's so disrespectful, so she could make him feel what she was feeling, and she succeeds because he pauses, not even continuing his sentence.

"Yeah the 53 missed calls? I think I missed it." You mockingly tilt your head.

"Why are you acting like this?" He wasn't angry when he yells that sentence, he was genuinely questioning, confused, and even a little hurt that you were clearly pissed and hurt aswell.

You raises your eyebrows at the question and he just knew you did it because you found the question itself was just dumb, "I don't know, maybe because you guys forgot about me? Especially you, Niko. That's low, even for you." You indicate that he's done some mad things before, but you had never thought that the person whom you loved would forget about you.

"Low for me? y/n– what does that even mean? I never–"

You sigh deeply, "An hour after you guys left me all alone, you decided to call. You remembered that I existed after an hour. An hour, Niko." You emphasize, your voice breaking in the last remark.

His eyes soften when he captures the voice crack in the end. He didn't like the fact that you were upset because of him or the fact that he actually left you. He didn't even mean it. His hands were twitching into trying to hold your face, but he felt too nervous to even do so.

"I swear it slipped my mind. y/n I swear I would never do this to you on purp–" He swallows heavily but he was immediately cut off by you.

"I'm definitely supposed to smile and congratulate you over dinner for remembering me after an hour, let's grab a beer or two while we're at it. What a hero." You mumble the last sentence and turn around, but he couldn't let you go mad at him.

He wanted you to stay with him. If anything, this entire hangout was an excuse for him to see you, you just didn't know it.

He gently grabs your hand, silently begging for you to just turn around. He draws circles around, trying to calm you down so you could listen to him. And you do turn around to his surprise.

"Niko I–" You hesitate for a second. His eyes lit up, waiting for the words to be spilled.

"I came here for you. I came here to spend time with you. Put yourself in my shoes, and tell me that it wouldn't hurt if I did this to you. I mean that's if you even care about me." You say the last sentence a little too fast, trying not to put your feelings out there.

He's a little disappointed, expecting other words. "Of course I do, I care so much about you." His voice is hushed and he could feel his heart rate racing and his palms sweating at this sentence alone.

How could he not care about you? He absolutely adored and loved you in every way possible. Your beautiful selfless soul and your lovely personality was enough to make him care so much about you. The laughs you'd let out and how your cheeks flushed everytime and you'd cover your wide smile with your hands always sent butterflies to the bottom of his stomach.

He'd absorb each feature everytime he'd see you, as if it's the first time he's ever seen you. He'd always be in awe, speechless at every word that left your mouth. That's how much he loved you.

What was even that fake accusation about him not caring about you? It will always be completely false.

You give a weak, fake smile, "Clearly not true."

"Please. I'll make it up to you." He whispers soothingly and you could feel your heartbeat skipping two times at how gentle he was being towards you.

But the feeling of anger overpowered you and you couldn't control the words that were easily leaving your mouth, "Make it up to me, how? By inviting me to hangout and then ditching me? Thanks, but I'll pass." You could see the way he grimaces a little at your harsh words, but regardless, he still wanted to stay and make everything okay.

He sighs, "Alright. I can see that you need some time. But don't leave, I'll take you to your apartment when I'm finished since Dylan went home." He pleads.

Your heart breaks at the fact that your own brother couldn't even ask about you, or even offer you a ride home since he was the person that picked you up.

"Oh, when you're finished?" You scoff.

"You're a dick." You spat out with hatred and he felt his heart drop at your aggressiveness. You never cursed at him and your friendship was always pure. When you turn around, in his eyes it seemed like you had agreed silently at his offer because you didn't go towards the exit.

He sighs in relief, but still a little disappointed with your choice of words.

—

Calling a cab was probably the best idea to you, because you weren't willing to wait another hour looking like a foul after you had been ignored. You ignored his offer and decided that you'll just get home by yourself.

You get in the cab, watching the world go by and feeling your heart shred whenever you remembered your harsh words towards Niko.

He was a complete sweetheart and an overall a good person, and he would do anything for the people that he loves.

But the irony of being forgotten just made you upset, especially when it comes to Niko. You truly loved him like no other. That's why you were more hurt by Niko forgetting you than your own brother completely forgetting about you, because in the end, the love you had for Niko was always going to top everything.

But seeing the way Niko was trying so hard to let you stay and for him to make it up to you, just proved everything that he is. A selfless, kind, loving person.

You pay up the amount that was written on the meter and leave off to your apartment. You place the bag of the subway on your table, no mood for eating after the last interaction with Niko.

You open the door to your bedroom and you just stare at your bed, everything hitting and the realization hits that Niko and you weren't on good terms.

You sigh and you slump down on your bed, too tired to even get out of your clothes.

—

"Alright, I'll see you guys later." Niko waves at them and pulls out his phone, too excited to hear your voice after hours of hearing Aj and Sharky talking non sense.

He dials you, willingly to do everything in his power for you to forgive him. Immediately, he hears you say, ' Hey, you've reached y/n. Sorry that I couldn't answer your call at the moment. I'm probably busy, leave me a message until I get back to you! ' enthusiastically and hears a little laugh at the end.

He catches himself smiling a little at your laugh and then shakes his head as he tries once again, his knees bouncing in anxiety as he tries to look at his surroundings, maybe he'll find you since you were around here the last time he saw your.

He tries to call you again, but once again, ' Hey you've reached y/n–" he closes the call, a little stressed. He was hoping that you weren't trying to stubborn.

Call after call that it reaches to 31 missed calls, he was starting to get worried. You would never do this if you did want to get a ride back home. His heart drops as he thinks about what could've happened to you, and now he could almost feel like he's about to vomit.

He starts to run around the arcade and the people around him might've thought that he was a maniac, but he couldn't careless. He just wanted to see your face that lit up the entire room even if it was dark.

7 minutes probably pass by as he checks the food court, he even went to the ladies restroom and almost got caught, literally every single place where he could find you. He looked distressed to say the least, one of his hands gripping the side of his forehead.

He was now imagining the impossible and now his hands were starting to get shak–y and he immediately runs out of the arcade to go to his car to see if you were in your apartment. He really hoped you were peacefully sleeping with a few strands of your hair on your face, while silently snoring.

He was scared and started wishing that he left his friends and just hung out with you and spend the entire day with you and only you. He wanted to see you laugh and smile all day, indicating that his jokes did really make you happy.

Once he sees your apartment, he parks his car as quick as possible, not even caring if the car was a little on the side or wasn't parked right.

He doesn't even bother going up to the elevator as it takes time, so he goes up the stairs as soon as possible.

His fists come in contact with her door, hoping that you were actually in there. He wasn't gentle while knocking the door, infact, he knew it probably disturbed the neighbors but he couldn't careless.

You could hear knocks but you weren't fully aware if it was real or if you were imagining them, so you grip the blanket tightly and you shut your eyes to go back to sleep.

But then it happens again, this time it was louder. It was continous knocks. Now you were fully conscious about your surroundings. You get up, groaning. Your head was pounding quickly from how loud this is, and the uninvited person was giving you a hard time.

"What the hell." You say under your breath and you unlock your bedroom, walking towards the door.

You twist the doorknob and you open it, but before you could say anything, Niko's hands immediately cupped your face in worry.

You were a taken aback from the sudden gesture and you widen your eyes, "Are you okay? Why'd you leave?" Question after question spilled from his mouth, making it hard to keep up with.

You open your mouth to reply, but Niko beats you to it, "I value our friendship so much and I swear if it takes a year to make up this entire situation, I would–"

"What do you mean–" You shake your head, but you were cut off before you could even continue.

"Why didn't you inform me that you were leaving? Seriously, anything terrible could've happened to you–"

"I didn't think I was obligated?" You say it more like a question, confused where all of this was coming from.

He just sighs in relief, happy that you were okay. "Of course you were obligated. I just thought I was going to be the one to drive you home."

You forgot about his offer since yoi were too focused on your anger, "Oh." That's all you had to say, no other words. And that scared Niko, because what if you were still upset with him?

"I'm so sorry for being so stupid earlier. I don't know how I could forget about someone like y—" He pauses. He didn't know how to express how sorry he actually was. But there was only one way.

So instead, his hands wrap around your neck gently and places his warm lips on yours, making sure he was delicate as possible. The kiss wasn't lustrous or needy, it was innocent, pure, desperate to send you a message that he was truly sorry.

You froze from the sudden action, your body heating up when Niko's other hand grips your hips to pull you close to him, to deepen the kiss.

Hes about to break it, worried that you wouldn't approve. What takes him by surpise is that you wrap your arms around his neck, the butterflies in Niko's stomach erupted when he realized you were kissing him back. Both of your body falls into the other.

You disconnect the kiss and you could feel him following your lips, craving another taste of your lips. This time he pushes you until you made your way to your bedroo and you hear him shut the door with his leg, his lips still hungrily kissing yours. You hear him sigh when you tug on his dark hair, disconnecting the kiss so he could breathe in. The both of you sit on your bed and once you've turned around, he seals his lips over yours in a rough kiss, his hands going down to your hips to send a message.

Understanding what he wants, you sit on his lap and both legs are on either sides, making sure none of you disconnect.

You hear small whines each time you bit his bottom lip, and It was the hottest thing you've ever heard.

He disconnects, his lips continuing along your jaw and down the side of your neck. He plants kisses across the area and your breath catches in your throat, eyes fluttering.

After leaving a few more kisses on the skin, he begins to suck at it and you gasp sharply at the sensation. A moan falls from your lips as he runs his tongue along the spot.

You place your hands on both sides of Niko's face and you kiss him. You can feel him inhaling sharply, taken aback by your sudden need to kiss him. And then he's kissing you back, his hands tangling themselves in your hair. He traces the tip of his tongue along your lips, causing you to open them. His tongue rolls over yours, slowly.

You could feel him smile against the kiss which makes you smile aswell. He lays down on the bed and you cuddle into him, placing your hand on his clothed chest.

You look up to him and you could see the way his cheeks were flushed, and he looked shy while observing each feature of your face.

"I'm sorry–" He says once again and you shut him up with a small peck on his lips.

"I forgive you. Just don't do it again." You warn and you narrow your eyes at him.

He begins laughing, "I think I forgot you because you're so short I couldn't see you–"

You chuckle and you roll your eyes, hitting him playfully, "C'mere." you pat on your chest.

He easily accepts and comfortably lays on your chest and wraps his arms around your waist, your fingers playing with his locks.

If you both could stay in this position forever, you would.

taglist: @bigdikzaddy (if you wanna be added to the taglist for the upcoming ones just tell me and I'll add you!)

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[cerise-on-top]

Hiya! May I ask for a fluff alphabet for Price, if you haven't done that already. Since I saw in a recent post you only do 8-9 letters at a time now (which is okay!), may I specifically ask for: A, B, C, F, G, H, N, & Q? Thank you! 💗

Hey there! Sure you can! I've been in the mood to write something for Price anyway, so this came at a good time ^^

Fluff Alphabet for Price

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

On the one hand, he really loves going out to do something with you. Something along the lines of the occasional short hike, taking care of your shared garden or even just taking a stroll through the city, taking in all the sights and finding new ones you weren’t previously aware of. Those are things he likes to do when he’s been home for a while now. However, if he’s gotten home not too long ago then he’d much rather just stay in and sleep a little bit. Will want to cuddle you or just have you be his background noise. Don’t be mad at him if he dozes off while you’re watching a movie together, he’s just extremely tired and needs that rest.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He admires how resilient you are. Price knows that life isn’t easy, that it always makes an effort to throw one impossible thing after another at you, but you never seem to give up. No matter how rough life gets, no matter how often it knocks you down, you always get up, dust yourself off and continue to smile. Even if it really took its toll on you, you strive to make your life better. Although it may get you down when you’ve had the worst day of your life, you still won’t stay down forever. You do what you can, and that’s what Price loves about you.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

When you’re sad he’ll give you a hug, provided you’re okay with it. He’s a very good hugger, his hugs are very comforting and warm. Afterwards he’ll put on your favorite movie or series and watch it with you. If enough time has passed and you still feel down, then he’ll cook something you really like. Although he knows he can’t make the sadness go away forever, he’ll try to temporarily cheer you up. If you need to talk, if you need some advice, he’s also your man. If you have a panic attack then he’ll try to calm you down by taking you to a location with few people. Price can talk for a while if he needs to, so he’ll ask you to focus on his voice. Might also give you a rather simple task to take your mind off of things, such as counting backwards from 100.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

If it’s you, then he would forgive pretty easily, as long as it’s not something too big. If you accidentally knock down a mug he likes, then he might sigh and be annoyed, but he’ll forgive you. If you cheat on him, then he won’t. He’s usually calm and collected, even while fighting. Sure, he could be aggressive towards you and snap at you, but he loves you, so he tries not to. It’s sort of obvious when he is annoyed, his sentences become much shorter and he’ll actively try to get away from you. Won’t yell at you, won’t do any erratic movements either, but if he’s too angry then he’ll simply walk away from you until he’s calmed down.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Yes, he is aware and he is very grateful. How could he not be? You have the patience of a saint when it comes to him. He knows it’s rough to be with someone who is part of the military, he’s away more often than not, but you still decided to stay with him. You cook for him when he’s tired, you draw him a bath when he’s sore, you reassure him when he feels like you deserve better than him. You’re so much more than what he deserves, he doesn’t feel like he could ever repay you for everything you’re doing for him. He tries, though, but it’s never enough. Price could give you the universe and it wouldn’t suffice.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Aside from the obvious, such as military intel, he doesn’t really hide anything from you. Price doesn’t see the point in keeping secrets from you. You’re together, aren’t you? You deserve to know just about anything about him. He might not tell you everything from the get go, but once you’re close enough you can ask him about anything. You wanna know about his time as a private? Sure. How he came to be a captain? Yeah, he can talk about it. Just ask and he’ll likely tell you. But in the same vein he hopes that you trust him enough to tell him just about anything as well.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

He doesn’t really use very many nicknames. Just the classic ones, such as “love”, “sweetheart” and “dear”. Sometimes he feels the urge to call you “sunshine”, but he usually represses that since that’s what he’s called his soldiers before. As much as it would fit you, he tries not to bring work home. He likes to call you by your name too, though. But aside from that there’s nothing he really calls you.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He can keep calm in just about any situation, so he won’t lash out on you. He has an air of authority to him, so it’s not too often that someone is being a dick to him. And that extends to you as well. Price is a well respected man, so not very many people will come up to you and demand something from you. You, too, will be respected by most people, he’ll make sure of that. Regardless of whether you’re shy and timid or loud and boisterous, no one will bad mouth you. Price can fight, he will protect you. He will also fight for your honor if he needs to. He may have self restraint most of the time, but no one should ever talk badly about his partner.

[whumpsoda]

MAY I SUGGEST

an early captivity drabble where Malak tries to comprehend something in front of him and finds that he can’t, like it’s just beyond him. I’d imagine this would be his last day of resistance, and there’s a cold feeling in his stomach as he dimly realizes there’s no going back.

but Adrastus’ hand is in his hair, they’re telling him how good he’s being and how desired and loved he is as the two of them watch Malak’s resistance fizzle out like a sparkler reaching the end of its stick.

ANYWAYS IUST UH. ADRASTUS CONGRATULATING MALAK ON BEING THEIR TOUGHEST THRALL TO BREAKalso literally no pressure on timing i just wanted to share

WOHEO Masterlist

Definitely not my best but I’ll post it anyways

cw: conditioning/brainwashing, pet whump

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A puzzle. 

It was only a puzzle. A puzzle. Twenty pieces at the most. So easy a small child could figure it out. Malak was an adult. At least, he was pretty sure he was. No one really treated him like one.

So why couldn’t he?

So stupidly he’d pointed to the box earlier, interested by the colorful image of a horse on the cover. His master had been wary of handing it over, knowing full well of his pitiful state. Unfortunately, he’d insisted.

Malak had barely even touched it, only having lazily dumped out the pieces in front of his lap. His glassy, unfocused gaze trailed repeatedly over each piece and edge, the visual mirrored on the box scattered over the broken up image. Nervously, he gnawed at his lower lip.

It didn’t… make sense. Any sense. Though, he vaguely knew it was supposed to. Puzzles could be perfectly reconnected to a bigger picture, yet, even with just his vision, everything seemed so illogical and confusing. Jumbled so far in his cotton filled head he could barely even begin the activity.

As far as Malak could manage to remember, a feat eerily difficult as his brain was held far in a mind numbing trance, he was fairly aware he used to enjoy puzzles. Before his master, before his strange predicament. Before he was a pet.

And yet, all he could do was stare. Stare, with empty eyes and a dumbfounded head. 

Stumped. Him. Stumped over a twenty piece puzzle. It was seemingly utterly beyond him and his picked apart brain, melted to goop.

He softly cringed, disgusted with himself. Ripe anger twisted in his belly, burning with confusing emotions. He didn’t like such a sensation. 

Master didn’t like such sensations.

Unsurprisingly, the master in question was already keenly aware of his distress.

“See, dear? I told you it would be just simply impossible for you to complete such a difficult task.” Adrastus tisked. But it wasn’t difficult! Deep in his faulty brain he knew so. He’d easily and swiftly completed so many in the past, all of them far more formidable. “Your cute little head is just incapable, love, and that’s just why I advised against it. I just knew you’d get all fussy.”

Letting their words simmer in his mind for a beat, soon he gradually looked back to his mess of squares. Still, they hadn’t changed. Still nonsensical. Sprawled out in lazy fashion, broken apart instead of put together like they had once been.

Just like him.

The red hot bubbling in his stomach shifted to a dimly lit chill.

That was him now. Never to be fixed, never to be put back together. Stupid till the day he dies, stuck under the will of another. Malak would never again fit together. Reduced to nothing more than brainless, muddled matter that didn’t connect. 

Oddly, the horrifying realization melted into that of sickly sweet pleasure over the tiniest mention of his master. Malak liked being owned by them. He loved his master, and he loved being cute and obedient for them. It made him happy. 

Content.

He giggled first, light and airy that bounced around the tight tense of his belly, till it contorted to a whine, strangled and squealy, like a child about to throw a tantrum. How fitting. 

All was bad. Bad bad bad. It wasn’t supposed to be bad, he wasn’t supposed to be bad, and Malak despised the thought of annoying his master with his bad feelings, ones he knew he wasn’t supposed to have. Ones they didn’t like him to have. And, just as they said, he had done it to himself. He caused it. 

If he had just let himself he could have remained dumb and giddy as he was meant to, floating through the blissful daze he was meant to be in. And even if for only a moment, he’d ruined it.

You ruin everything, Malak.

“You- y- you- you ruin everything mmngh… Malak.” He sniveled, whimpering the first clear string of words he had somehow managed in a good while. How many times had he heard the same sentence? How many people had brought to light the painful reality such as that?

Before he could reach the point of crying- something he’d done especially often since his master had claimed him- gentle fingers slipped right over his temples, swiftly subduing him.

One hand was in his hair, twisting through curls and faintly skimming their nails over his scalp, while the other rubbed warmth over his plush skin. His head lolled back along with their motions, resting against the cushion of the couch. 

The scritched behind his ear, hitting the spot. “Oh, baby, how could you say that… Master loves you so much. I don’t believe I’ve ever loved something as much as you. Don’t ever think or say such dreadful things.” The cooed, continuing their hypnotic escapade over his mind and through his hair.

They paused.

“Malak.” Their voice turned low and heavy, holding the greatest weight he’d ever felt on his ears, echoing across the walls of his empty head. “You love me. I love you. I… we’re meant to be together, Malak. You need me. I’m all you have, and all that can ever truly love you. Care for you. Who can bring you everything you need.”

“You see that… don’t you?”

Carefully, he digested every syllable.

Malak didn’t need the stupid puzzle. He didn’t need anything- surely not the bad things, things that stirred up strangeness and discomfort. The thought of merely looking at the discarded object hurt in his head.

He needed-

He needed…

He needed them.

He needed his master.

For a moment Malak let it all wash over him, breathing in the rich and sweet wave of realization of what had come and what was yet to.

Malak was at the end of his rope. He was waiting at the edge, like the fizzle of a sparkler finally burning out.

Something.

Popped.

He giggled. Again, again, again, until it seemed uncontrollable.

The delightful, welcomed wave of happy, heavenly hypnotic force took hold of his body, snaking it’s way from his toes to his brain, seeping into every crack and crevice imaginable. He swooned with a mixture of wooziness and unfiltered bliss, swaying along with the weight of such power. Malak was so joyous, so much so that a big, toothy smile spread across his lips and pushed his pudgy cheeks, making him squint.

They loved him! They loved him, they loved him, they loved him, even if he was helpless and dumb, they loved him! They’d give him all the love and gifts and praises and treats and affection no one else ever would, and he would gladly take it. Malak was filled to the brim with so much gladness he wished he could get up and dance.

He continued smiling, beaming, with teeth and gums shining to his master right under his glassy, void gaze and drooping eyelids. Malak was happy. Finally, happy, all of his meaningless cares washed down the drain of his mind.

He eagerly kicked away the pieces of the puzzle till they skittered off, knees bumping against wood as he dizzily kneeled, and he had the ability to forget they were ever there.

His master’s aura strengthened at the sight, calling him closer as they rubbed his body in mollifying, circular motions. “Well, aren’t you just silly. I bet your little imaginary tail must be wagging. Good boy.” They sang, soft and sweet, holding him by the chin. Nice, but even better than normal.

He was such a good boy and he knew it. He knew it! His master was the only one who could and would ever truly realize it. Malak was a good boy. Finally he had accepted his fate, the one filled with care and true love. He’d accepted it, and allowed himself to give in.

He slightly moaned with dripping bliss. “Hap… happyyyy… happyyyy..!” It was then Adrastus’ turn to chuckle, playing with his cheeks like putty in their hands. He fully allowed them, leaning into the calling touch. Craving it, yearning for more.

“Lovely.” They whispered, more so to themself than him. “Just lovely. So hard to break,

but I think the wait was worth it.”

———————————————————————

Taglist- @softvampirewhump @iys-cloud @battyfantasy @xx-adam-xx @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @mylifeisonthebookshelf

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[localhopedealerr]

-Here For You.-

Azriel x Reader

You were born into this world as a survivor. You had survived the wrath of Amarantha. Had survived watching your whole family being picked off one by one during the war with Hybern. Had picked yourself back up, brushed off your shoulders and started a new day.

You took great pride in your ability to swallow the pain and avoid making others around you taste it. It was a burden that was yours alone.

If you could appear put together from the outside, soon enough those feelings would be the same within yourself. You just had to keep surviving.

Then, there were days like today.

Days where you would wake up with such a weight in your bones, it seemed impossible to lift yourself out of bed. Your mate was already long gone, Azriel’s days started early at the training ring with the Valkyrie. Training you usually joined in on.

There was a pull against your mind, Azriel reaching out for you. He was wondering where you were, why you hadn’t made your way to him yet. To training. You felt pathetic for letting yourself feel this way.

You barely had the energy to shoot a small comforting feeling back towards him. Finally, you hoisted your body out of bed, and forced yourself to dress.

___

If anyone noticed you were acting differently during training, they were polite enough not to mention it. Movements that usually came to you so easily, were a struggle today. Your mind couldn’t focus on anything, you seemed to lag behind the group.

If Azriel hadn’t taken notice to your sullen mood, the lack of light that usually graced your face, he would have been calling you out. Questioning why the movements were so sloppy today. Why you seemed so distant from the tasks in front of you.

You were thankful then, that some hearts understood each other even in silence. He let you be, didn’t pry on you in front of everybody.

He had saved his questioning for after the last of the priestesses had finally left the ring, leaving you to continue to throw weak hits at one of the practice dummy’s. You didn’t deserve to be finished yet, and hadn’t exhausted yourself enough to ebb some of this pain away.

He braced against the one of the weapon racks, arms crossing over his chest as he watched you continue to throw your punches. You had worked up a good enough sweat now, your cheeks flushed from the continuous movement.

“Want to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

no.

Another punch.

You needed to respond. You just didn’t trust your voice enough not to crack once you started speaking.

“Y/N.”

Another punch.

“You know i am here, right?”

He took a step towards you. You didn’t stop, didn’t acknowledge him. Your whole body was screaming at you to spill it all out, beg him to hold you, ask for support.

“Whether you want to talk to me or not. I am here for you.”

Another punch.

He released a sigh.

The shadowsinger turned and walked away then, ready to leave you be to figure this out on your own. Ready to let you shut him out, he would try not to take it to heart if you couldn’t speak to him. He understood how hard it was.

He was always making an effort to communicate, tried to be as open as he could be for his mate. While you had stayed in silent with what hurt you. Swallowing it whole and trying to carry on.

Your fist finally stopped. Your chest heaving as you looked up at the sky helplessly, then towards your mates fleeting figure.

“ Everything still haunts me.”

Azriel paused mid step, turning to look at you with his eyes before his whole body followed. He looked surprised that you had stopped him. That you had even spoken out loud.

“No matter how hard i try to swallow it. Everything *still* haunts me. “ You laughed at yourself then, a small pitiful sound. “Everything consumes me sometimes.“

“Y/N..” Azriel came closer, closing the distance between the two of you, finally.

You couldn’t meet his eyes, couldn’t swallow the choked sound that tore from your lips at the onslaught of emotions, at how gentle he sounded. “ I do not understand why I had to go through so much. Why it had to be me the cauldron gave all this to. It is killing me from the inside out. I just can’t-”

He caught your chin with his fingers, angling your head up to finally force our eyes together.

He hated the brokenness he saw within those irises. He wished more than anything that he could take it all away for you.

“You are allowed to fall apart, Love. You do not have to carry all of this on your own.” You didn’t realize how badly you needed to hear those words.

“It’s okay to feel angry, it’s okay if you want to set the world on fire, or hide yourself away from it all. Whatever you need, just let me help you.” Azriel pleaded.

You finally released your tears, practically falling into his arms. He was ready to catch, allowing you to wrap yourself around him while a straggled cry fell from your lips.

Strong hands tangled into your hair as he closed himself in, wings flaring out to the sides as he cocooned you into him. His lips pressed into your hair, as Azriel allowed you to break in his arms. Every emotion releasing out of you in waves.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there clinging to him, letting go of everything you had pent up inside of you. Azriel would have stayed there with you all night, if that’s what you needed.

Your body had finally slowed down. A wave of relief washing over you. You felt yourself truly breathe for the first time all day.

And in that moment, although you couldn’t be sure what true peace was, you assumed it felt a lot like being in his arms.

[i-am-church-the-cat]

peak

wc: 1224

—

“And that is P1, mate, good job.”

“P1?” Logan asks over the radio. “P1, you’re sure? You’re fucking sure?”

There’s nothing for a second and he’s worried he’s missed the response over the roaring in his ears. Then Gaëtan’s voice comes over once again.

“Yes, P1, with Russell and Oscar behind you in P2 and P3.”

“Oh my god,” Logan laughs, hands raising to his helmet, the giddy feeling bubbling up in him like champagne. Like P-fucking-1 champagne. “Have some of that.”

If Logan is being honest, the whole end of the race was a blur. It could’ve been a Mercedes in his rearview as easily as it could have been a Haas. But never would he have expected to end up first after starting… wherever it was he started on the grid that morning.

Logan jumps up on the top step of the podium, waving out at the sea of black and papaya. It’s surreal to be standing up there again, his last win wasn’t since the last race of F2.

He just starts looking around for James when the Star-Spangled Banner starts to play. Logan straightens and tucks his hands behind his back, remembering at the last second to snag his hat off his head. Glancing to his left, he sees Oscar looking vaguely bored. He surely couldn’t have gotten used to podiums that quickly, could he?

When Logan is handed his trophy, it feels much lighter than he expected. He barely has time to raise it to shoulder height before someone in Williams’ blue is snagging it away for safekeeping. He laughs, too euphoric to care and leans down to grab his champagne bottle. His fingers meet empty air and he’s still looking around in confusion when George and Oscar pop their corks.

They somehow pull off the impossible task of not hitting Logan once. He’s not sticky at all as he comes down from the podium celebration, a first for him.

Logan is heading towards the media pen when his PR manager drags him off in the opposite direction. She’s saying something to him but he’s distracted by George smiling at the cameras as he accepts a red-topped microphone.

Is that the first smile Logan saw from him?

Logan keeps waiting to be stopped on his way to Williams hospital, but no one stops to give him a second glance. It’s starting to feel more like a P20 than a P1 if he’s being honest, especially when he steps into the garage. The vibes in there are distinctly unhappy. Anyone who looks his way quickly changes direction before they can meet his eyes.

“Logan.” He turns, smile returning to his face as he sees Gaëtan coming towards him.

“Gaëtan, mate, that was—”

“We need to talk about the degradation on turn 4,” his race engineer interrupts, raising his tablet to pull up the data. “It was significantly more than what Alex was experiencing and I think it lost us the fastest lap.”

“Oh, um,” Logan blinks and glances around. No one pays attention, closing everything down and getting ready for the next race. He shakes his head and turns back to his race engineer. “Yeah, of course, let’s discuss. Do you mind if I get changed real quick?”

Gaëtan barely glances at him before waving his hand. Logan takes a second to recognize it as dismissal and flees to his driver room. No one watches him leave.

That fizzy feeling he had before was distinctly absent.

He runs into Alex outside of his driver room. The other driver smiles distractedly at him, paying more attention to whoever was on the other end of the phone. Logan decides to leave him alone, yes, because he’s on the phone, but mostly because he’s not sure he wants to hear whatever Alex has to tell him right now.

Nothing was making sense today, Logan thought as he closed the door to his room behind him. Nobody has even congratulated me.

He looks around his driver room, thoughts in a tangle. Everything is exactly as he put it, as bare and lifeless as it always was. It takes Logan a minute to understand why there’s something wrong with that picture.

There’s no trophy.

Logan, fed up with whatever bullshit is going on, turns around to find his first trophy in F1, the one that he barely even got to hold. Before he can storm out the door in self-righteous anger, though, there’s a knock and then James is peeking his head in.

“Oh Logan, good,” his team principal says, coming fully into the room. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Something hopeful rises in his chest and Logan’s anger is replaced by relief. Finally, someone who will care about his win today. He opens his mouth to respond but James doesn’t wait for him.

“I’ve been talking to the board and some senior members of the staff,” James starts, moving to sit down at the little table wedged into the corner of the room. Logan follows but there’s only one chair, so he remains standing. “And we’ve evaluated your performance from the last two seasons. You’re a very skilled racer.”

“But the lack of improvement from the end of last year is worrying and frankly, disappointing. It’s becoming clearer and clearer that you aren’t ready for the demands of Formula 1. That’s why we’ve decided to let you go at the end of the season. The Williams family will be behind you for whatever you decide to do in the future, but we can no longer offer you a partnership at this level.”

Logan has never felt more disoriented in his life. Every warm and proud feeling has cooled over in his chest. His heart is feebly trying to keep beating through the frost, trying to get blood to his frozen limbs. He’s lightheaded but he has nowhere to go but the floor.

“But,” Logan’s voice strangles somewhere between his chest and his throat. He looks at James helplessly. “But I won the race.”

James gives him a look. An ‘I expected better of you look.’ It makes Logan want to crawl back inside his own body and die.

“Oh, Logan,” James sighs, a small shake of his head to convey his disappointment. “You know it doesn’t count if it’s you.”

—

Logan’s eyes open to the lazy spinning of his ceiling fan just barely illuminated by the creeping dawn. The image of James is still front and center, his terror slowly bleeding from his spine out into his extremities.

Even knowing the dream wasn’t real, the feelings it inspired are fizzing like a soda can. Logan lays there for a few minutes, futilely trying to calm himself down. He eventually gives up and swings himself out of bed, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water.

The water helps clear some of the panic, helps his brain think more clearly. But his heart is still racing from the anxiety.

Logan drinks one full glass then fills it up again to take to his room. On his way back to bed, his eyes get caught on his trophy shelf.

The CIK-FIA championship trophy sits in the middle of the sea of metal. It’s a full head and shoulders taller than his next closest trophy. It makes a strange sort of peak on the shelf, the trophies just declining the further he gets from 2015.

Logan turns around and goes back to bed.

[reve-writes]

—fault line; leon kennedy.

ʚ leon kennedy x reader | resident evil | 2,5k words. ʚ in which you and leon were both agents working for different countries, with a little bit of shared history. ʚ set in re4 but non canon compliant; reader is implied to be working for a foreign government but not specified which; reader and leon have a history of a physical relationship. ʚ a/n — this took me so long to write and im not too proud of it anyway. it sat in my drafts for probably two weeks-ish purely bc ive been watching atla and abandoning tumblr. enjoy reading anyway.

Nearly two years had passed, and you remained missing the warmth of his bed and the crinkle of his sheets. Nearly two years, and it was the first time you had seen him. Leon Kennedy stood in front of you, the set of his shoulders were stiff as he exhaled, eyes cold blues, studying you.

All around you was foreign: foreign land beneath your boots, foreign houses with stone buildings and weathered red roofs separated by rivers and mountains. Leon was the only reprieve—something familiar, bringing with him a false sense of security which you clung onto like a starved man.

"Can't you leave me alone?" Bitterness spilt out of his lips. Your eyes flit to look at anything else but him: the dried mud on your boots, the rundown docks beneath them, the opaque water of the lake.

"I did not come here for you." This was true, at least. You had set foot in the rural village for answers—not voluntarily, though. This was your livelihood.

"Of course not," he drawled. "You'd have to care first."

Enough time had passed for the dull throb in your chest to cease, but it was hammering down on all of your senses. You tried to reign your thoughts in to no avail. They galloped out of control, reminding you of the months—seven—leading up to Operation Javier.

At the time, Leon was early in his career as an agent. Lonely, easily taken by someone he had met on an outing once. You. He hadn't suspected that you could be a foreign intelligencer, tasked to unearth the secrets buried with the destruction of Raccoon City. Leon was supposed to be your impossible task—surely someone who survived that night and was made a special agent wouldn't be so trusting, his life so easily infiltrated.

You had underestimated his loneliness.

He hadn't handfed you the information you siphoned back to your handler, but he practically gave you free access. They had been gathered from eavesdropping his calls from the other room, going over his correspondences while he slept next to you. Until he was sent to South America and you followed, discreetly, of course.

This time, you overestimated your stealth.

He found you out, unravelling your motivations and deception, witnessed by the Amazon rainforest during that very mission. You had escaped before he could turn you in to be interrogated, not caring to find out what they would do to foreign spies, nor could you stand the look in his eyes.

The blues, formerly jewel-like, now fractured. You didn't take into account your own isolation, too, when you took this mission, because somewhere along the way, Leon had stopped being a mark. He had left a mark on you himself, in a way.

"I should go," you said, strangely self-conscious. It was an odd feeling; your presence being so unwanted.

"Why are you here?"

"Your president's daughter being taken was a point of interest, but I have my own reasons." A sample of whatever is infecting people here. Half-truths and lying by omission came naturally to you. You couldn't remember a time when they did not.

"I suggest you don't meddle," he said curtly and stalked off. You opened your mouth, wanting to say everything and nothing at once. Settling for the latter, you turned away from the docks.

Was he insane?

You weren't proud to say that you had been keeping an eye on Leon. Your days in the rural village had been isolating and left you parched for any semblance of companionship. He was either a mirage or an oasis, you hadn't decided which just yet.

After the gross-looking humongous lake monster was defeated, Leon had slumped and lain on his back. At first, you assumed he was merely catching his breath, but he stayed there, unmoving. He was out cold, floating in a strange lake with strange residents all around.

He would be fine, right? It wasn't as if your help would be welcome anyway, right?

You exhaled before paddling a smaller boat towards his, half cursing yourself. There was your handler's voice in your head, mocking you, asking if you were really attached to this American agent and what it was that was so special about him.

Ah, Viper. You aren't actually saving him, are you? Leave the American. Focus on the task at hand.

The boat rocked under you as you stepped over into his. Maybe you could both be the monster's meal together now. Maybe it wasn't actually dead. Maybe it had a bigger, more evil twin swimming underneath the murky surface. You placed two fingers onto his neck, by his Adam's apple and slumped back in relief when you found the pulse.

When he woke up, you were sitting on one side of the boat, knees tucked towards your chest, half asleep yourself. You had moved the boat closer to shore, where it floated near the rocky lakeside. You could've stepped off and left—should have, but something, most likely stupidity, compelled you to stay.

He was startled, understandably so, consciousness still barely registering what was happening.

"You've been out for two hours," you said nonchalantly. "You just... passed out."

"And you've been, what, just staring at me?" His biting sarcasm had returned, but something seemed off. He was staring at his hand as if it wasn't his, turning it this way and that way, flexing and clenching his fingers. His hair moved as he tilted his head, grazing his cheek.

"I don't need to stare, I know what you look like," you replied. "You're welcome for making sure you didn't die."

He scoffed. "You certainly have your motives. That's what you do, isn't it? Pretend to care for what's best for everyone. When in reality, they suit your agenda and yours only."

You wanted to smack him across the head.

"What could be my agenda, Kennedy? Huh? What use could I possibly have you for?"

"A lot, apparently." He shot you a glare. "Did they promote you after Operation Javier? You're welcome."

"They did," you admitted, something akin to shame filled your stomach, but you pressed on. The first ever sample of the T-virus that your country had was courtesy to you. It wasn't even part of your mission. Your original mission had been to dig up information on Leon Kennedy and whatever biological disaster his country found itself in. "I'm paid double what I'm used to. I'm practically a national hero to my colleagues."

"Do you want me to shake your hand?"

"No, Leon! I want you to—I want—" You trailed off, surprised at the emotional reaction you were having. You cleared your throat, schooling your expression. "It doesn't matter. For whatever it is worth, I am sorry. You didn't deserve that."

He stood up and stepped over the side of the boat, boots sinking in the water that reached all the way to his knees. "Like you said, it doesn't matter."

He walked a couple of steps before turning to look at you over his shoulder. "No offense, but I hope we never see each other again."

"I think you're infected."

You had gotten the jump on him. It somewhat amused you, despite the grim castle you were in and the grimmer news you delivered.

"But you already know that."

He looked at you as if you were a petulant child who would not leave him alone. "I had my suspicions."

You followed him down the maze-like halls. "The damsel-in-distress is infected as well, but you knew that, too."

"What do you want, ___?" He said your name like it was a curse. You only shrugged in return.

"Answers, mostly," you said. "Who's doing this and why. That is what I was sent to do."

"What do you want from me?"

The two of you were speaking in hushed tones, trying not to alert the many infected residents of the old castle. Leon looked irritated, taking big strides across the carpeted floor.

"I'm wondering the same thing."

Leon halted in his tracks at your wistful tone, watching you with the intensity of a man witnessing a once-in-a-lifetime comet. As if he was trying to take all of you in before you disappeared for good. You were oblivious to this, stuck in your own head, trying to answer the question he had asked.

Leon broke himself out of the spell. "I don't have time for this."

As soon as he said that, you heard the mumbling of hostiles, just around the corner. Without thinking twice, you pushed Leon into an unlocked door in the hallway, closing the door behind you. Leon let out a startled noise and you placed a hand over his mouth, pushing him back against the wall.

It was a tight fit.

Dark, as well.

The only illumination you had came from the dim hallway, through the slit under the door. Leon's gloved hands found their way to your waist where they squeezed, like it was something he had done countless times before—it was. Your free hand clutched his shoulder as the voices approached your hiding space, hearts pumping anxiously for a long while even after the steps started to recede.

You both let out relieved sighs.

One of his hands slid up your arm to gently remove the hand covering the bottom half of his face. You swallowed. The immediate danger had passed, but proximity to him carried another type of danger in itself.

He breathed out your name, the sound so familiar to your ears and it made you lean into his touch. This was familiar—all of it was familiar. The way your heart roared at the warmth of him, your skin burned at the slightest touch.

"I shouldn't be wanting to kiss you right now."

His chest rose with a sharp intake of breath. Softly, as if speaking anything above whispers might shatter the moment, he said, "No."

Yet his grip tightened and he pressed you closer towards him. His free hand found the side of your face, thumb tracing your cheekbone. You had already stopped thinking straight. Without being able to see him clearly, you leaned forward, feeling his breath over you.

"This is a bad idea." You tried being the voice of reason, even as your eyes fluttered close and his nose nudged yours.

"You tend to have a lot of those."

Even as he said that, you could feel his lips brushing against yours. Your hand found the nape of his neck, fingers slotting through his hair. Chest-to-chest, you could feel how rapidly his heart was beating as he could feel yours.

You cursed under your breath, before finally pressing your lips against his. He immediately responded by tracing his tongue across your lips impatiently and you opened your mouth, tasting him again. His kiss was bruising, all tongue and teeth and eagerness. He pushed you back until you hit the wall behind you.

Like a drunken man, he said, "I missed you."

"I know," you said, tugging at his hair. "I missed you, too."

He abruptly stopped, shrinking away from you as if you were a scalding thing, burning him. His hand felt around the door, before finding the handle and pushing the door open. He took a deep breath as light filtered back in through his vision.

"Leon—"

"You should go."

He shook his head, swiping his palm over his face as if chiding himself. You reached towards him, but decided against it last minute, dropping your hand to your side. This was a mistake. All of it.

"Take care of yourself."

"I'm sorry about your friend."

Leon didn't jump this time, as if he had already expected you to appear uninvited. He was sitting on the floor, leaning on the rickety metal bed where the damsel in distress—Ashley Graham—was currently unconscious on.

"He shouldn't have died."

He closed his eyes, tilting his head back. There was something broken in him. His shoulders were slumped with weariness, clothes and skin dusted with blood and grime.

"Can I sit?"

"Why won't you leave me alone?" There was no malice in his voice, or any sign of annoyance. If anything, it was exasperation.

You leaned against the doorway. Tentatively, you spoke. "When you asked me what I wanted from you. I think I know now."

He opened his eyes and sat straighter to look at you, nodding for you to go on.

"I kept thinking about it and I don't think everything I did, I did for the mission." You crossed your arms over your chest, looking at the floor. "I thought I was doing it all for the country. My country. I came to realise I'm not that much of a nationalist after all."

He scoffed. "Would you fault me if I didn't believe you?"

"Not at all. I expect you to be at least a little doubtful. Still, I wanted to say it: if we had met in another world—where you were just you and I was just me—I think we could have had it all. No duties or missions or political unrest. We could have made it."

You swallowed. Never had you thought a truth so bitter and sad could spill out of your mouth.

Leon laughed—a joyless, brief sound that tugged at your heart. "What are you trying to say, ___?"

"I'm sorry that I'm not just me," you replied, wringing your hand with anxiety. "I wish I was."

"Why not?" He stood up and approached you, each step relighting the suffocated embers in the ashes of your past. "You said it yourself, you aren't much of a nationalist anyway."

"The same reasons you can't quit being an agent." You let out a sigh, noticing the blue-black veins pulsing all over his forearm. "You have to get the cure soon, Leon. Your friend was telling the truth, that's all I know. I wish I could have helped more—they're sending someone to get me out soon, and I suggest you do, too."

"I'm not planning to die here."

"Your plans have a penchant for going awry."

For the first time in a really long time, he grinned at you. It felt as if everything in the world would go as it should, that nothing could ever go wrong. Like ice over a burn, a hot drink on the coldest day. What a smile to have.

Ashley stirred behind him.

"I'll be off, then," you said. "Be careful. I wish I'd seen you again sooner."

"Then come see me after we get out of here."

You shook your head. "I'm rubbing off on you. You're having horrible ideas."

"Leon?"

He turned around to find Ashley rubbing her eyes and waking up. When he turned back to say his goodbyes to you, you were already gone.

[ ]

[bellaxgiornata]

What would you get our traumatized Irish Catholic boys for Christmas? And what about our traumatized Italian Catholic and cocky Vampire?

Ahh Soulie I love this question so much but OMG I had to THINK for this one!! Mostly for Owen and Henry because we don't learn too much personal stuff about Henry (plus he's a centuries old vampire so like...what the hell would you gift him?). And I think I'm only just starting season three of Boardwalk Empire so what I thought of for Owen is more of a funny gift. I'd probably have a better answer once I've seen more of him in the show if I'm being honest. But anyway, for those who're curious on my gifting ideas and thought process for Matt Murdock, Michael Kinsella, Frank Castle, Owen Sleater, and Henry (whatever his last name is 😆), I'm putting everything below the cut cause y'all know I'm longwinded 😅

Also feel free to join in on ideas in the comments because I'd love to hear what other gift ideas y'all would have!

Gifting something to Matt Murdock seems like...an impossible task to me. Whenever I write fics, I honestly hate coming up with ideas for a character to gift him something 🤣 Why? Because this man doesn't remotely scream materialistic. I mean he barely makes any money at his law firm and is all too happy to be paid in bananas. And his only hobby is illegal and probably going to get him killed. So what the hell do you get Matt?

Personally, I'd gift him some sort of spa day or a long ass massage. He'd certainly need to be forced to take the time for himself and use it, but you know that man's battered and worn body would welcome a nice, long massage. Then maybe treat him to a nice dinner at a great restaurant because I always worry this man isn't eating enough.

Bonus gift: I'd give him a weighted blanket, too. I feel like it would help relax him on the nights he doesn't go out beating criminals.

Okay, this one came far too easily to me for Frank Castle. I'd gift him a rescue dog. Why? THIS MAN NEEDS A DOG OKAY. Frank and a dog just go together in my mind.

I also think Frank would thrive and heal a little from the unconditional love of a furry friend. And he could certainly use the company from a canine companion. I just know a dog would bring a smile to this man's face and bring out that softer, non-murder-y side that we all know is there inside of him. And honestly, I worry about how incredibly alone Frank feels after losing his family. So a dog would be perfect.

Bonus gift: Possibly some new books to read because I imagine this man doesn't enjoy much television in his downtime.

This one also came far too easily to me. I'd gift Michael Kinsella with a little vacation literally fucking anywhere calming and peaceful outside of Dublin. He desperately needs to get away from the stress of his family's business and just his crazy, shitty family in general. They're obviously not good for his health and I think he could seriously use the break. I'd also get him some less depressing books so his ass stops just reading Steinbeck and starts reading something else. You need some new books, Mikey.

Bonus gift: I'd surprise him by having his daughter Anna come along on the vacation. After eight years in prison, those two could really use some bonding time without Mikey's meddling family.

This is where things started to get tougher for me. Like I said, I'm barely in season three of Boardwalk so I feel like I don't know much about Owen personally. He hasn't had that much screen time besides some killing, scheming, and sex. So this gift idea was a bit more on the entertaining/funny side. I think further into the series I could come up with something far better.

I'd gift Owen an expensive bottle of Irish whiskey and lots of condoms. I mean, it certainly seems like he'd use both of them. The man is...definitely a flirt who has every intention of following through on his flirting 👀

Bonus gift: I don't know, me? Do I count? You can have me for Christmas, Owen.

Okay so Henry is the toughest one for me to answer this for. I mean he's a vampire and he's a few hundred years old and the movie doesn't give that much background or personal information on him. So what would I gift him for Christmas?

Considering he's a few centuries old, I doubt he's materialistic (certainly doesn't seem that way). I doubt he'd like a vacation because I mean...he's probably well traveled. We know he's got some morals since he doesn't feed on humans because he used to be one. So I imagine this vampire would enjoy literature and maybe art--things that connect him to the human side he lost. Though I assume he probably already owns and has read all the classic novels, so maybe I'd gift him something that's current that might resonate with him that he hasn't read yet.

Bonus gift: Maybe an engraved lighter? The vampire does seem to enjoy smoking. Or maybe something handmade and sentimental.