#everything stays is also a song I listen to that is dear to my heart

[tastytoastz]

No one asked for it, but here are 10 songs i listen to while i read/write the showestoppers series. No one asked for it but also so can no one stop me so here we go! (Ps the songs are in no specific order)

Showstoppers:

1.I Was an Island- allison weiss

2. Komplicerad- miss li (the swedish version, not the english one!)

3. Borderline- Tove Styrke

4. Alcatraz- oliver riot

5. Honeybee- the head and the heart

6. It’s Alright- Mother Mother

7. Blood- My Chemical Romance

8. It's Strange-Louis The Child 

9. She Keeps Me Warm -Mary Lambert 

10. I’d Be Your Wife - Mary Lambert

CTL:

1. Din soldat- Albin

2. Enemies- Shinedown

3.All the things she said- ​t.A.T.u.

4. I’ll be good - Jaymes Young

5.Beekeeper- Keaton Henson

6. Self esteem - Andrew Jackson Jihad (AJJ)

7. I can’t decide- scissor sisters

8.The judge -Twenty one pilots

9. Wake Me Up- Avicii

10. Giver- K.Flay

[targaryenluvs]

OUR LITTLE DOVE

pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray

summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.

warnings: crazy lucy n corio conspiring like evil doers, manipulation, chasing, primal play?? is that what is called idk corio enjoys hunting your ass down, kidnapping, drugging, forced into accepting a third partner?? nc touching, abuse of power (peacekeeper), power dynamics, kinda cheating (lucy n corio), guilt-trip, jealousy, threatening, self doubt and relationship problems, murder, betrayal

word count: 3.0k

a/n: lol i complain about wanting to write fluff but all my good ideas r so dark 😭 someone needs to give me tips on how to write girls cuz i have no experience would be easier if i was gay boooo!!

he was like a shadow, stuck to your back, always.

you’d complained to lucy numerous times that you didn’t feel comfortable around him when she played at the hob, knowing he’d be there, in the crowd. “sweetie, he was my mentor. he helped me so much in the games, i wouldn’t be here without him. you love me don’t you? so you need to learn to love him too, he’s a good friend a mine. i love you and i gotta get to the stage baby.” she explained as she ran around getting herself and the covey ready.

you were always front row. wanting to be as close to lucy as possible. she looked especially majestic tonight with flowers in her hair. as you listened to her sing you’d managed to forget about the certain blonde peacekeeper near the back. but he hadn’t forgotten about you, nor lucy.

you’d left to get a drink and you’d came back to an unfamiliar tune. you usually knew every song being played off by heart but this was new.

Everyone's born as clean as a whistle

As fresh as a daisy

And not a bit crazy

Staying that way's a hard row for hoeing

she sounded as angelic as usual and the crowd around you seemed entranced.

As rough as a briar

Like walking through fire

This world, it's dark

This world, it's scary

lucy smiled at you once, just once. which threw you off since you usually got a bunch. especially during new songs and songs about you. was this not also about you?

I've taken some hits, so

No wonder I'm wary It's why

I need you

so it is about me! you thought as you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sway to the music and singing. you’d hoped you wouldn’t miss a smile headed your way.

You're as pure as the driven snow

your eyes flew open as you stared at lucy, she was looking past you and to the peacekeeper. to coriolanus snow. you’d always been a rational person, you prided yourself on restraint but that restraint was hanging on by a thread. you wanted to jam a beer bottle into his neck. lucy was your girlfriend not his. and yet he smiled stupidly towards her as she sang and you could feel your heart clawing its way up. best to leave now rather than stay and hear more of the ever so driven man.

your head was spinning as you slumped to the floor, in one of your finest dresses yet worst mental states. of course, something had formed between the two. she was in the goddamn hunger games and he was her mentor. trauma bonding? he quite literally saved her life, coached her and you did what? sat at home and hoped.

hope could only get you so far.

your hope and faith in lucy gray baird was dwindling as her lyrics swirled in your head. of course she loved him. who wouldn’t? the man was undeniably eye catching. a capitol man. but you’d always imagined lucy staying away from the capitol, despising them. but maybe it wasn’t the captiol part but the man part. maybe she wanted a true life, a home, marriage and children and everything she could wish for.

what on earth could you provide her with?

“y/n?” it sure as hell wasn’t lucy calling out for you and you knew that. coriolanus’s reflection was prominent in the puddle before you as he neared. great, you sneered, would love to get to know you mr peacekeeper. please tell me how you stole my lovely girlfriend from me!

your chest felt oh so heavy as you heard his footsteps in the gravel, determined and unwavering as he made his way to your slumped body. “what do you want? you wanna gloat?” coriolanus stopped in his tracks, gloat? “why would i gloat?” you looked up at him annoyed, “rub it in my face. you practically stole my girlfriend from me.” coriolanus laughed. actually laughed and it made you want to strangle him with his stupid dog tags.

“sweetheart.” vomit. you wanted to vomit. maybe choking and dying on your vomit would be less embarrassing then this. why on earth was this fuck head calling you his sweetheart. “fuck off.”

you didn’t see him coming. and you certainly didn’t expect his demeanour to snap. but the large hand tangled in your open hair was a big slap in the face to your unreadiness. “you of all people don’t get to talk to me like that. do you know who you’re talking to?” you could hear his perfect porcelain teeth grinding at your words. god this man couldn’t handle an insult. wuss.

“what the hell is your- ow! problem!” you yelped as he dragged you into an alleyway. “you need to learn how to respect your superiors. if you’re nice to me, i can make your life easier. doesn’t it hurt? not being able to fully provide for your family? seeing them struggle? do you really think disrespecting a peacekeeper is going to help? i suggest you straighten your act and thank me for even looking your way. there are plenty of other girls here.”

but he didn’t want those other girls. he wanted you. you with the teary eyes and messy hair. you who he’d been seeing in his dreams and during the day. you with the kind smile and curious eyes. you who were so sweet and pretty but mean when need be. the y/n who was stupid enough to spit such hateful words at a peacekeeper. but he’d teach you. whether it be with words and lessons or actions and bruises. you’d learn your place, by his side and lucy’s, and underneath. but with such fearful, brown doe eyes watering up infront of him, the girl he’d heard oh so much about from lucy. how could he refrain from indulging?

his hand reached out to wipe away the few stray tears that fell as his left extended towards your right, which was clutching your head, where he’d grabbed you. “shh, let me help you.” your hand slowly retracted as your heart ran a marathon. the man was obviously unstable, going from a deceptively caring man to violent. coriolanus smiled at your actions, and it freaked you out. he caressed your scalp in an attempt to soothe, “good girl.” he cooed as your apparent saviour approached.

“sweetie?” lucy called out to you as coriolanus withdrew from your personal space. he walked over to her and she let him. he held her hand and spoke with, love? his voice was soft and comforting, his thumb again caressing the back of her hand as they talked, whispered, plotted? god knows, all you wanted was to leave.

was this your chance?

you tested the waters, slow and calculated movements as lucy nodded in agreement with him. but by the time they were done speaking you’d bolted.

but you sure as hell weren’t getting far with these two on your tail, poor y/n l/n. a little dove trying to spread her wings but they were bound to be clipped.

your feet were throbbing and begging for you to slow down. but your brain was in charge for once, your heart which yearned for your dear songbird pushed to the side as your head screamed and urged you to go. she was in league with him apparently. her seeing him corner you and not even batting an eyelash. did she truly care for you so little? did she want to rid herself of you? she could’ve broken up with you and let that be it. maybe the games had twisted her head.

even as you believed yourself to be gaining distance from the two you could hear the not-so distant steps of determined pursuit, headed your way. how would they kill you? slow and intimate? hasty and brutal?

“if you stop running now we won’t be mad little dove!” lucy shouted in warning as you felt yourself momentarily slow at her words. traitor. you thought to yourself as your body involuntary listened, she still had an affect on you. “she’s right, we love you, we won’t hurt you. unless we have to, don’t give us our reasons.”

“shut up!” you screamed. god, i know we haven’t talked in a while. last minute efforts right? maybe he’d listen to you, save you from your tormentors. you should’ve kept your head clear, focused on running. focused on your surroundings and if you had, you would’ve noticed the nearing tree roots, thick and protruding from the ground, ready to knock you down.

you crawled behind the tree, trying to catch your breath as your hands worked tirelessly to provide some form of relief to your aching ankle.

crack.

you’d been found. you fucked up.

“our little dove, ever the sprinter.”

his words had you lurching forwards in an attempt of fleeing but lucy’s cold hand on your ankle dragged protests and cries from your throat as well as you, back to them. “you should’ve listened before, we would’ve been nice. given you some time to adjust, but you can’t sit and think for a second can you?” coriolanus mocked as his hand trailed up your un-injured leg, “that’s okay, you won’t be doing much thinking from now on. we’ll be taking care of you, since you obviously can’t take care a’ yourself baby.” lucy’s voice was saccharine, like honey, and her smile was even sweeter. the familiarity and comfort of her presence was intoxicating, you felt at peace on one side and the other wanted to jump off a cliff. she lowered your guard and coriolanus slithered right in.

the prick in the side of your neck wasn’t painful, but their words were. “you’re with us now, we’ll take care of you, we promise.” and you were stuck, stuck with them for god knows how long.

you blinked away the sleep in your eyes, adjusting to the room. maybe they had killed you? in their own twisted way they’d keep you forever, in their memories and soul. coriolanus and lucy’s voices swam around your head and blended together. you were wrong. yay.

“it’s a bit early for katniss, even if it’s one of her favourites.”

“she should eat something better.”

“better? don’t go all capitol on me now corio.”

he was smiling, you could tell.

“never lucy gray. but she’ll be weak for a few days, proper meals will help her regain some strength.”

you picked your head up and looked through the window, the lake was evident.

“alright, you go grab it and i’ll stay here.”

“why? so you can get more time with her? if anyone should get extra time it’s me.”

“now who was her partner first? oh that’s right, me. you’re acting as if i’m gonna pick her up and run away. if you’re that scared than we’ll both go. take her with us.”

coriolanus’s head whipped towards the cabin and you quickly flopped back down on the bed. you shut your eyes as you heard the door creak open. “gosh, doesn’t she look pretty?” lucy asked, knowing the answer already. “so calm, i liked her better when she was crying.” lucy hit him, “coriolanus snow!” he stroked the side of your face and you had to resist from turning your head and biting his fingers off.

“little dove.” your eyes opened again, turning your head his way tiredly. “we need to get some supplies okay?” you nodded as lucy went outside to gather the baskets she’d left out earlier on to dry. coriolanus’s hand dug into your cheeks as he forced you to look at him, “i told you i’d make you respect me. now listen, if you try anything when we’re in town i will never let you forget it. you’ll know who you belong to every single day. maybe i’ll pay your family a visit? an appointment with the hanging tree for being rebels? stealing?”

you shook your head violently as you began to cry, “you don’t want that? didn’t think so. you listen to me and everything will be fine. your family will get daily help and weekly groceries. they’ll never go hungry again. all thanks to their sweet little girl. lucy’s too nice, but don’t think for a second she’ll save you from me. you’re mine and if you try anything.” he leaned in to whisper, “i’ll strangle her with my bare hands infront of you.” his words were meant to scare you, and they did. but don’t you know? coriolanus snow doesn’t need a reason to do bad things.

coriolanus was wicked and ruthless when it came to what he wanted, if you had any hope of trying to get through this then you’d need lucy’s attention and help. so you nodded. “words sweetheart.” you swallowed your pride, your dignity, and you shook hands with the devil.

“yes, i’ll do what you say.” he straightened up, his white shirt a contrast to his dark thoughts.

“y’all ready to go?” lucy questioned as coriolanus grinned, “yes, yes we are.” he lifted you up and helped you dress, you hadn’t realised the fact that you were only dressed in his own white shirt, dress to you. he handled you like you were the most delicate object. as if he wasn’t hell bent on breaking you, over and over again. till you were fit to his standards. the captiol standards. the snow standards.

his, his, his.

with how obedient you were, he figured you’d do well in the capitol. which was exactly where he was meaning to bring you.

lucy walked in front of the two of you as you made your way through the woods. coriolanus’s hand was glued to your waist as he held you close, afraid to let go. you were at flight risk of course. his grip was tight and bruising. lucy’s humming distracted you at times, if you were delusional enough you could imagine it to be the two of you. your brothers far infront and the covey following. after an amazing afternoon at the lake, heading home for dinner, maybe a performance or the night shift.

your daydreaming was interrupted when you clocked coriolanus’s missing hand from your waist, and his arm now around lucy grays throat.

don’t you remember? you’d do well in the capitol! you were his! but not entirely, no.

not with her in the way.

you were frozen in place as lucy clawed at him before reaching out for you. a plea, a cry for help and aid yet you stood stuck in fear. a minute, two. she’d put up a strong fight, especially when you ran towards the two, pushing and shoving at coriolanus to let her go. but again, you fucked up.

here lies lucy gray baird, singer, victor, psycho.

obsessed? madly in love? you couldn’t think of another word, and as much as you wished to forget her, forget how she’d practically allowed another man into your relationship and let him kidnap you. her lifeless face and hollow eyes made your heart clench. but soon enough she was rolled over, thrown in a pre-made hole and buried. she’d survived the games but no one survived coriolanus snow.

“don’t forget what i said. don’t forget what you agreed to. you said you’d do as i say, i’m telling you to get up and follow me. we’re leaving district 12.” your face was painted with confusion as coriolanus clutched your face, “i’m going back, and you’re coming with me. don’t ask questions, just do as i say.”

and you did.

when he had you say goodbye to your family, a courtesy, a privilege he’d granted you. you kept it short and sweet, no questions just hugs and false promises of return.

when he ushered you onto the train and he wanted you to sit and be silent, you did.

through his time at the university, he wanted you close to him, living with him. and you did.

through his presidency campaign he wanted for you to charm sponsors and entice newcomers. you did.

when he wanted to marry you in a grand spectacle infront of the captiol and dress you up, you did as he asked.

when he held you down on your wedding night after tearing your dress off, biting and marking you down all over, pushing you down to your knees and took you all over the house, asking you to give yourself to him as if he didn’t take you anyways, you did.

you had no idea why at this point.

for your family? who hadn’t reached out in so long, even when they promised to talk to you every day? coriolanus had them all arrested, punished and hung for inciting riots and uprisings.

for your friends whom listened to your concerns of the capitol peacekeeper who hovered and didn’t make you feel crazy? each of them ended up dead in many different ways, hung, shot, a mugging gone wrong.

you didn’t know at this point and when you looked in the mirror you didn’t recognise the girl who stared back. a captiol sheep, dressed up in the finest silk dresses and slick heels yet the filth underneath the finery, jewels, and makeup weighed you down. each time he touched you, kissed you, fucked you, it felt like a peace of yourself was thrown away.

and as you clutched your swelling stomach, you couldn’t help but feel pity for baby number four.

maybe you’d grow up and find love.

maybe i’ll be able to take you all away from him.

maybe we’ll heal.

you thought, but in the back of your head, a little voice wouldn’t shut up.

you’ll always be his little dove.

[moviestarmartini]

comfort. - jude bellingham x reader

pairing: jude bellingham x latina!reader

wc: 747

summary: your boyfriend needs comforting after such a hard loss.

warnings: pre-established relationship, pure fluff, clingy!jude, both reader and jude are sad, spanish but! translation will be added at the end

A/N: LISTEN this is MY way of coping with this loss, i bawled my eyes out on thursday unfortunately but it is what it is. also this is for MI GENTE LATINO for the second time let's fucking go (i have two wips with regular readers but this one came out faster rip)

now playing . . . día de enero by shakira

The sound of the door made you stop everything you’d been doing in the kitchen so you could greet Jude at his arrival. The door closed silently, and just from watching the game in your living room, you knew what mood your boyfriend was going to arrive in.

“Mi amor,” You sighed, stretching your arms out to pull him in a hug. “You played spectacularly.” You praised quietly, a kiss pressed to his temple as he seemed to place his entire weight on top of you. He held onto you like a lifeline, stumbling back onto the couch and pulling you to his lap.

“It wasn’t enough.” His voice was filled with shame, and the sentiment was enough to not want to look you in the eyes. “I’m so tired, love. We all are. It’s hard.”

“I know.” You masked the pain, trying to avoid him noticing it in your tone. The love he had for the club was something you truly admired, and you understood his frustrations whenever things didn’t exactly go according to plan.

You two sat there for what seemed hours, holding each other close as consolation. “I was just making dinner, hm? Your favorite?” You tenderly brushed his brows into place, your hands staying in his cheekbones. But his reply was silence.

“You know what? Get ready for bed, I’ll make us some tea.” You noticed how he perked up at the mention of self-care, and you knew what you had to do. You practically had to shove him off to make your way to the kitchen, coming to realize he’d followed you like a wounded puppy searching for its owner.

“Ay pero Jude,” You whined with a laugh, his insistence to cling onto you made tasks difficult. “Dame dos minutitos, eh? I have to prepare everything.” With a hum, you took the kettle and served it on your respective mugs, letting the bags steep before adding milk.

Tea time went by as planned, slow sips being the only thing filling the air in the bedroom. You felt the soothing effects, so comfortable and cozy that you placed your mug away with a bit left at the bottom. “What’s on your mind?” You asked, upon finding Jude staring at you.

He set his now empty cup on the nightstand, turned off the lamp, and wiggled to get under the pink duvet, pushing a Snoopy pillow out of the way. You usually reprimand him for mistreating your ‘children’, but you knew it wasn’t the time. “Can you…” The question edged from the tip of his tongue. “…sing? That one Shakira song…” He breathed out, and you couldn’t help but smile. Your voice wasn’t the best, but it was enough to soothe a baby with a soft lullaby.

You nodded, lying down. It didn’t take Jude long to lay on your chest, an arm wrapping across your torso and pulling you close. You hummed the beginning, skipping over the first verses, as the next one expressed what you felt within the depths of your heart; what you knew he needed to hear.

“Y todo va a pasar, pronto verás el sol brillar.” You sang quietly, in almost a whisper. He’d heard you blasting that song a while ago, hearing you gush about the lyrics before he asked for a translation. Now, he listened to it every time he sought comfort. Your comfort. “Tu, más que nadie, mereces ser feliz.”

You sang that sentence with your whole chest, and you could feel him holding onto you for dear life. “Ya vas a ver, como van sanando poco a poco tus heridas. Ya vas a ver, como va la misma vida a decantar la sal que sobra en el mar.”

You hummed along the interlude, and you could feel the way his shoulders relaxed. “I love you, babe. Te amo.” He muttered, voice slightly muffled by his face buried in your torso.

You prayed he would hear your heart drumming, the only way you could truly communicate how he made you feel.

“I love you too.” You muttered, snuggling closer to him. “And I meant every single thing that song says. You deserve happiness more than anyone.” Your voice was low, intimate; just like the moment you were going through. Lights out, no noise; just the two of you seemed to occupy this plane of existence.

“You’re my happiness,” Jude muttered, and before you realized it, he’d fallen asleep– lulled by the rhythmic beating of your heart.

A/N: this song is so beautiful y'all :,) ALSO!! the "salt" here is not a literal translation; in latino cultures it's often a word used for bad luck.

[aventurinemylove]

FIRST TIME REQUESTING! So I have no clue if you're okay with what I'm ganna ask?

May I ask for a angst to fluff. (Only if you're okay with both in the request! unless you want it to be full angst) Like where reader/ y/n is near death (again only if your okay with it) wiith Dazai and Chuuya. (If you wish to add another one that's your choice!) It can be either a headcanon or short fic. Whichever one your more confterble with!

(Ps I love your smau au!)

Have a nice day/night/afternoon (it's 3:10 a.m for me 💀) but anyways if you can't accept my request I understand! But take care of yourself. ♡

A/n- OMG YOU DONT KNOW HOW FAST I GOT UP AND STARTED WRITING TYSM FOR THE REQ OMG AND IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE SMAU😭🫶

Close call

Dazai x reader and chuuya x reader (separate)

Genre-angst and fluff

Warnings- heavy topics, torture, blood, mori…

Songs to listen-skyfall adele,I bet on losing dogs mitski,francis forever mitski

Osamu Dazai

You were sent on a mission by yourself by Fukuzawa to gather information on a rival organization. You knew the risks of this but you were willing to risk it To give the Ada any type of advantage. Before your mission dazai told you to be more cautious about everyone and everything, he had a pitiful feeling in his stomach..the same feeling when he lost his dear friend, which left him wondering if his past finally catching up to him?

Ever since you left the feeling only got worse and worse, he couldn’t take it anymore it was eating him alive he felt a sense of guilt, and for the first time in year, he felt fear..? Something might have happens to you..days without contact or even texts all his texts were delivered you never left him on delivered. He couldn't take it anymore and decided he will look for you himself.

Meanwhile, you haven't texted Dazai due to leaving your work phone at the ADA in order to not cause any suspicion between you and your new boss however you couldn't stay like this forever he saw you rummaging through classified files which ended up with you having to reveal your identity causing you to fight. What surprised you was the ambush from behind which ended up with u getting stabbed in the chest and losing conscious.

Once he got there he was late...your body on the ground bleeding profusely, he couldn't believe it he failed you. The person he vowed to serve and protect you only to fail you. His heart aches at seeing you so motionless so still. He couldn't even form a word he couldn't even stand on his feet. “You're not gone [name] right..” his voice filled with sorrow and disbelief. If only he came earlier..he could've prevented this he wouldn’t have lost you.

He ran to your body and held it..for the first time in years he couldn’t mask his emotions how could he..you were special to him the only one keeping on this ground, but now that your gone he has no will to live no reason to be here. “[name] I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, you didn’t deserve this awful fate my love..I’m sorry”. You were still conscious you heard everything how u you wish you can tell him “everything’s going to be okay” but honestly not even you knew if your going to make it”

Dazai held u so close running towards the nearest hospital he could find without any second thought begging every doctor to treat you before it was to late. He didn’t leave your side the whole time you were unconscious, atsushi brought Dazai food and made sure to give him company and any ounce of hope he had.

It was almost a month since that event you haven’t woken up not even once…this left Dazai terrified he only thought of the worst outcome. Though before u hit one month of being unconscious you woke up, every emotion hitting you but the one hitting you the most was shock and fear. You couldn't believe you were alive, and you also wondered who brought you to the hospital but soon realization and memories hit you. Dazai found you laying unconscious, you couldn't help but have guilt. Your poor husband finding you unconscious and unresponsive was a horror to think about.

You were so deep in thought you didn't notice Dazai practically tugging you into a hug crying his eyes out on your shoulder. [name] my love I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry I failed you I was so scared, I was so scared of you leaving me like everyone” he said between broken sobs. “Dazai dear I'm sorry for being so careless I really should've seen it coming” you say through your tears.

To say the least, dazai is happy you're alive and that's all that matters to him.

Nakahara Chuuya

You and Gin were sent on a mission personally requested by Mori, which was odd since usually, he would have you take missions with Chuuya since he had his suspicions here and there. You always found your boss “odd” he always figured out things even he was told which was a scary thought.

On the mission, you were told to play a fair person and your objective was to woe the victim over and that's when Gin strikes. Though it was easier said than done, during the night you felt like something was coming for you or that you were being watched but you pushed your thoughts away for the sake of the mission. You found something quite odd about your victim he looks like a former mafia member though you've never seen him, you feel like his name was mentioned somewhere.

Fortunately, before the night ended you got the victim to think that you were an innocent person trying to get help from him for your company on how to grow it etc. But he knew you were from the mafia he had his eyes on you ever since you stepped in, he knew Mori would send an executive to assassinate him during this party. You had a feeling that your facade was seen through like clear glass, which made the gut feeling start to tell you “leave” or “go home” but you knew being in the mafia your life was always on risk.

Chuuya on the other hand was sweating and shaking something was telling him to watch over you that night, he had a feeling Mori had some plan since usually he would send him with you and no one else. So while you and Gin were on your way to the party he followed you guys but decided to stay hidden until he felt he was needed.

You were unexpectedly brought a handkerchief to your mouth making you pass out. Otherwise, Gin was concerned about what could have happened to you, you weren't giving her any sign to strike..unless the struck first which had her panicking since she also didn't see the host anywhere. She Knew something was wrong, so through her headset she let everyone know “Code red, our executive is missing”. Just hearing this made Chuuya jump and head to the party area before he knew it, he was frantically searching for you everywhere in the area but had no luck he couldn't find you and this made him more frustrated he couldn't believe he took his eyes off you for a bit and you were MISSING.

It was days maybe 3 days since the incident they had you tied to a chair with handcuffs tied to both hands making it impossible to use your ability. You were so beat up all these days tortured just for some information you didn't have. “Now where is that supply box” he spoke, another hit towards your ribs but you stayed silent. “OH SO WE ARE GONNA PLAY THE SILENT GAME ARE WE?!” he says but before you were hit again the doors of the area were crushed open before you knew it Gin ran to you and untied you, and carried you to the truck where they already had a medical professional on board.

Meanwhile, chuuya made sure this man was dead and he made sure that he paid for what he did to you. Chuuya had rage in him, the state he found you in made me sick and sad, how could this asshole do this to you. After his job was chuuya got back to the truck where the doctor talked to him. “Sir they will be unconscious for a few days maybe a few hours if lucky but they had a few broken ribs and a few bruises to the head”. He couldn't believe what he heard, he felt the rage he had earlier come back to him, but he kept his composer just nodded to the doctor.

He was now facing you he felt his heart shatter to 100 pieces the pain and guilt he felt was eating him alive. “If only I got there earlier” or “I should've taken the mission but compared to other missions this was one of the least dangerous. He knelt near your bed while holding your hand slowly letting the tears down.

After 3 days you finally open your eyes looking around the unfamiliar room it looked nothing like the mafia hospital room which relieved you, you didn't have to deal with mori and his annoying overbearing antics, how u hated him and wanted someone to take his spot.

While lost in thought u turn to see flowers and a note on the bedside, you grabbed them smiling to yourself already knowing who it was. As you looked at the flowers you open the note slightly smiling as you read. “My dearest [name] I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you as I vowed to you I will, so after you feel better let me take you out to eat, sincerely yours Chuuya Nakahara” but before you finished you saw the end “ps I’ll visit you later I'm on a mission right now”. You never knew how you got lucky with such a man but honestly, it did take you guys a while to be where you are at right now.

Later…

You were sitting down reading a book when you heard the hospital door bust open, at first you thought it was an enemy attack but you were relieved to see Chuuya at the door with a little box at hand. “My love” you heard Chuuya speak “I got you this,” he says as he gives you the box. You were shocked, to be honest, you weren't expecting anything so when u recognized the jewelry box you began to cheer up. “Thank you dear you didn't have to,” you say smiling at him while opening the box, to your surprise there was a gorgeous necklace that you'd been wanting for a while but couldn't get your hands on it, so it was surprising to see Chuuya get ahold of such an item.

You felt your eyes start to tear up as you pulled Chuuya into a tight hug and whispered “Thank you my love I couldn't ask for someone more amazing than you”. Chuuya was surprised by your sudden action but didn't complain at all. “My love I'm sorry for not being there on time,” Chuuya said his voice cracking “If maybe I was there earlier this could've been avoided”. “Chuuya it's ok, I'm fine I'm here with you look on the bright side at least we got him” you say softly.

Chuuya knew you were right, he was just happy you were alive and with him still.

[snaillock]

your relationship with bllk men as mitski songs

(kaiser, sae, oliver)

my posting has been very slow recently so to celebrate mitskis new album (and to feed into my eternal obsession for her music and lyricism by combining it with another thing im way too obsessed with), i dug up this old ass draft and finished it instead of giving y’all an actual fic

tags: gn!reader, angst(it’s mitski duh), yeah basically no fluff/comfort in here, suggestive-ish in the oliver one, me being a dork and combining two big interests of mine

michael kaiser - i don’t smoke

So if you need to be mean Be mean to me I can take it and put it inside of me If your hands need to break More than trinkets in your room You can lean on my arm As you break my heart

his career can be a lot on his shoulders at times even with the cocky and arrogant facade he puts on for the performance of each match he plays. he has a tendency to keep it all in to bask in the glory of his luxurious life.

you understand. you know he’s currently too prideful to deal with his true feelings, especially all on his own. you just want to be there to know he isn’t alone and that he can be open with you. so you sit there, giving him a listening ear as he lashes out and releases every awful word in the book towards you when everything finally becomes too much for him to bear. you wouldn’t want him to have a very public meltdown when it happens so it’s better this way. you have remind yourself to take none of it to heart because he doesn’t mean those all harsh words. he just needed an outlet for those frustrations.

you also don’t want the weight and significance of his career to separate you two. you’re already so damn lucky to be with someone like him. you want to prove that you can handle it. you know you can. you’re sure you can help him figure this all out somehow. love just takes compassion and patience, that’s all it is. just taking it one step at a time.

it’s just compassion and patience. right?

Just don't leave me alone Wondering where you are I am stronger than you give me credit for

sae itoshi - i want you

You're coming back And it's the end of the world We're starting over and I love you darlin' And I am done, dear

he swears he will make time for you someday. sure those words have been promised over and over again like a broken record but he truly does love you. however you’re starting to wonder if mutual love is truly enough to keep you two going.

the truth is his life is currently too big and important for him to take any focus away from it. the last thing he needs is a distraction. all of which he has very clear multiple times, even along with his contrastingly hopeful promises. though his tone is quite neutral, never letting his emotions seep through as if he’s programmed to do so. meanwhile you have to desperately hold yours back to not seem like an idiot.

it’s never been easy to express how you feel in front of him. you desperately wish you could but the inconsistency of your relationship that’s barely holding up renders it pointless. this over and over/back and forth thing that’s going on between you two is exhausting. it only leaves you lost and confused. you begin to wonder if staying is even worth it at all. even with the speck of hope that it could eventually work out. even if you love him.

You're in the house And I am here in the car I just need a quiet place Where I can scream how I love you

oliver aiku - eric

You like control, well, I do too Take off my clothes and watch me move You can come closer, I'll let you hurt me how you choose

you deeply crave a loving and fulfilling connection with another but unfortunately the other you desire is him. a guy who’s born to be a player and only wants to fool around with multiple people.

you know getting attached would only cause you so much unnecessary pain but your naive heart couldn’t resist him. you know that he doesn’t see you for more than what you give him at night but you were still a fool to fall for him.

enough of a fool to fall for him knowing he’s not ready to settle for one person. you could see it from how you would lovingly gaze at him while he leers at someone else behind you. you would still give yourself up to him if you could, offering anything he wanted out of you.

despite better judgment, you stay with a pained and aching heart. constantly yearning for more.

But how long, how long can we play this way? I'm tired, I'm tired of not loving you My heart, my heart wants to hold you But I know, I know, I know the rules

taglist(lemme know if you wanna be added): @userwithlotsoftime @lucas2060

[terrainofheartfelt]

and now, a playlist:

Mister Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

or,

FirstPrince (Taylor's Version)

shoutout to my beloved cherry @blairwaldcrf my friend in rwrb and my enabler in everything related to the two himbos above.

shoutout to this post specifically for their intrepid scholarship

listen at the unlisted youtube playlist here

Track list and annotations under the cut.

✨tracks✨

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things They broke an $80k wedding cake. and alex is such a brat about it. and holds a grudge like none other 

Gorgeous Alex hoarding that magazine cover of Henry. Henry is literally so gorgeous the bisexual jumps out

Teardrops on my Guitar  Henry-coded the only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart I MEAN

Untouchable The. YEARNING. I want you but I cannot risk telling you so you please tell me say it first please say it first please. Ever thought about that bros being bros visit from Henry’s perspective? Hmm? I didn’t know you wear glasses

gold rush Long distance bro-ship. Just chattin and textin. Gay crush gay crush gay crush. Watching each other’s public love lives and seething. Almost jump into the fantasy but then letting it fade to gray. or as the british say, grey. 

Stay Beautiful The constant texting. Each one finds a way to be the other’s highlight of his day. But we were ever so careful dear. Alex being america’s sweetheart and Henry being totally gone for him

Foolish One Henry kiddoooooo. The prince with the heart on the outside of his chest. 

Forever Winter before their relationship is even romantic, they are a safe place for each other. Like christmas. and thanksgiving. 

You’re on Your Own, Kid NYE. Henry’s gayass breaking point, searching the party of better bodies and wanting wanting wanting.

Tied Together with a Smile The prince charming act be coming undone!

Message in a Bottle Alex’s bisexual crisis. He knows henry likes him, and it’s kinda frightening, standing here waiting, and that asshole won’t return his calls so he’s gotta trick him into a state dinner at the white house.

Treacherous A state dinner of antici………PATION. And a makeout in the drawing room. As one does.

Electric Touch  alex waiting after dinner in his white house bedroom all nervouslike

Snow on the Beach First hookup. Soft disbelief, because you wanting me tonight feels impossible. Snow in DC (a swamp) is as weird as snow on a beach imo. 

I Can See You FWB era. If you could only see all the things that happen inside my head. At galas and polo matches and wimbledon and whatnot

Wildest Dreams The henry journey. This will end and it will wreck him but right now it’s beautiful. Also this is the song for hooking up in a stable post polo

Delicate Secret relationship. Boys are bad with feelings. Oh damn never seen that color blue. I pretend you’re mine all the damn time. Waking up with each other in Paris speaking of: 

Paris No I didn’t see the news. Too busy getting dicked down by the most eligible bachelor in the Western world. What who said that.

Lavender Haze Don’t read into my melancholia. Let’s just stay in this gay suspended animation. This secret bubble. It’s safe here. 

22 They literally spend Alex’s 22nd birthday together you know he was feelin’ 22. Pretty sure the novel says that actually

I Think He Knows It’s fun and flirty and the feelings are creeping in at the edges, but not enough that they have to face them

Jump Then Fall Alex is a smitten kitten

So It Goes… LA gala. All eyes are on them but as separate entities. Magician, illusionist. Trying to play it chill but being utterly incapable. 

Starlight dancing in the club in LA. Alex getting carried away by queer joy

Dress Their night together in LA. their secret moments in a crowded they got no idea about me and you. Their hands are shaking from holding back from each other! Say his name and everything just stops! They don’t want each other like best friends! Pez only bought those custom kimonos so they could take em off! Ah ah ah ahhhh! Carve your name into Alex’s bedpost, Henry babe. 

Hey Stephen cutesy emailing. Hey henry you blew my mind in LA last week u up? I can’t help it if you look like an angel/achilles/james bond

I’m Only Me when I’m with You Sweet email exchange post LA. I’ll be damned but I miss you

…Ready for It? (BloopPop remix) Henry says In the middle of the night in my dreams you should see the things we do….Let the games begin

Glitch Wimbledon. Fucking love doing things out of spite. I’m not even sorry. Henry will go back eventually to dudes to give him nothing but for now there’s this 

Sparks Fly DNC. Henry really dropped everything to come see alex at the convention. The kinda reckless that should send him running, but he kinda knows that he won’t get far. Give him something that’ll haunt him when he’s not around, Alex. 

Everything Has Changed Telling madam president mom. Do you feel forever about him? Henry making a point to be there for him is alex’s emotional tipping point. 

State of Grace Time between dnc and lakehouse is their state of grace. No leaving, no leaking. It can’t last but its so good. Mosaic broken hearts, but brave and wild and I never saw you coming and I’ll never be the same

cowboy like me Alex texas boy. The reflective nature he turns on henry once he’s fired from the campaign. Thinking about that word forever

Wonderland Never worse but never better. In all their searching of the world they won’t find anything else that feels like what they have. yk?

Cruel Summer summer vacay at the lake house. the darkness approacheth. I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you but here I am sealing my fate over and over again 

You Are in Love ‘you’re my best friend.’ and you knew what is was: Alex is so in love he could die

willow Alex at the dock like he is begging for Henry to take his hand and wreck his plans. He’s like that’s my MAN.

illicit affairs it dies a million little times. like by a lake in the moonlight. henry sees the truth when it shows and alex gets angry because you showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else 

Bye Bye Baby henry fleeing texas. You took me home but you just couldn’t keep me

Midnight Rain He wanted it comfortable I wanted that pain. I broke his heart ‘cause he was nice 

Hits Different when alex thinks about the sham the firm will make henry go through. I pictured you with other girls “in love” then threw up on the street

august refrain of henry. It was never mine. You weren’t mine to lose. This was over before it even began

Breathe Separated. Neither of them doing well. 

exile alex obliviousness meets henrys stubbornness. the imagery of nations and homelands

Anti-Hero henry has it’s me high I’m the problem it’s me at tea time everybody agrees disease. no cure but it can be treated 

Renegade alex working up a head of steam because he just wants to say get your shit together so I can love you 

Maroon your body comes back to me in dreams and I wake with your memory over me that’s a real fucking legacy!!!!

my tears ricochet alex has literally never had it within himself to go with grace. Ever. In his life. Bless him. Screaming at skies. Stealing lullabies. You know how it is. 

How You Get the [Boy] Narration of the storming of Kensington Palace. Alex being like I want you for worse or for better I would wait forever and ever

The Archer Henry prepared for a lot but he never prepared for Alex staying

Love Story  The dramatics the mythologizing of one’s life the I want you / Then fucking have me like “baby, just say yes” also romeo and juliet and pyramus & thisbe are the same fucking story!!!!

Stay Stay Stay Morning after when Henry comes into the room with coffee. How he could have a lifetime of fine but he’d rather have this. 

Holy Ground Dancing in the V&A

Today Was a Fairytale Lots of this music plays with the idea of fairytales and royalty and the push and pull idealism has with reality and it just fits so well. Because. Prince. &c.

Come Back…Be Here Having the big conversation and then alex having to leave and go back to dc. The long distance drama. This is falling in love in the cruelest way.

End Game choosing to do this thing for real. knowing what they’re up against. Big reputation big reputation ooh you and me would be a big conversation 

Labyrinth oops they both caught feelings. Henry thought the plane was going down how’d he turn it right around 

Cornelia Street The sacred new beginnings that became their religion aka those crazy 48 hours holed up in Kensington. Tender and fragile and amazing

mirrorball henry’s fable. His shattered pieces and the peasant boy with chin dimples who is not like the regulars the masquerade revelers. never been a natural all he does is just try try try

Paper Rings I thought you were a nuisance but whoops you're now the air I breathe. In paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams

Timeless The phrase ‘see attached bibliography’ is the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me. All the quotes and recitations they send each other in their emails. 

cardigan The intimate email conversations. Always wanting to know more about the other. 

Lover  The ease with which they say I love you post storming of the castle.

Out of the Woods The almost reveal and the cover up dates with June & Nora to make a cover. The hiding in an alleyway in the car. When the sun came up you were looking at me.

False God Rumors aside they are both In This and that shalt not change. Still worship this love. They might just get away with it.

invisible string it all began at the olympics. All the winding paths of our public lives one single thread of gold tied me to you, &c.

Mastermind Henry saying he’s loved Alex the entire goddamned time! Newsflash asshole (affectionate)

hoax Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. The only hoax he believes in! He feels forever about it!

peace The last email sent before the leak. Give yourself away sometimes sweetheart there’s so much of you

I Know Places The something that happens when everybody finds out. The vultures circling dark clouds.

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince Alex and the leak fallout. The whispers in the hallway. American stories burning before me & high fives between bad guys. 

I Did Something Bad The email leak. There’s the harshness of the trauma, but there’s also madam president mom going “fuck it.” Don’t tell me this song didn’t pull henry through. Avoiding plans and sucking cock. Don’t knock it til you try it. Go ahead and light me up

the lakes (original version) I like this mix because it’s more ~cinematic~ to me. And something about henry not being cut out for these cynical clones and hunters with cell phones yk?

Run The phone call from air force one post leak. The eye in the storm

Sweet Nothing It’s them in the music room of Kensington. It’s alex “can’t let anyone know how much he needs” claremont-diaz admitting he’s just too soft for all of it

Slut if they’re gonna talk shit, we may as well be together in public. It might be worth it for once

You Need to Calm Down Shade never made anybody less gay, fake elizabeth ii. Why are you mad when you can be glaad, pip?

King of My Heart  Wordplay on royalty words, yk. “That’s the bravest son of a bitch I’ve ever met” yk.

Change The crowds in front of Buckingham, alex’s speech from the white house. History, huh?

London Boy We hold this track listing to be self evident

Ours The contrast of the outer life and inner life. Private relationship  under large public scrutiny. 

It’s Nice to Have a Friend It’s about the best friends to best friends AND lovers.

Call It What You Want He wears his signet ring on a chain round his neck not because he owns me because he really knows me, &c

Karma Everything surrounding finding the source of the leak and Rafael Luna double agent and the fact that Alex and Henry can both say that Karma is their Boyfriend. 

Long Live Election night in Austin.

New Year’s Day The mythical place NYE occupies in Alex’s public life and now his private one with Henry. The Balls Out Bonanza is great but now it’s about what comes after. 

[awriterlivinginaconstantdream]

Just Let Me Hold You While You Sleep

John ‘Soap’ Mactavish x daughter!OC

Just a little drabble about Johnny and his adopted daughter

If you listen to the song while reading it will an amazing experience. Trust me.

Words : 1.3k

He held her softly in his arms rocking her gently as the sound of her breathing softly filled his ears like a sweet melody. He cradled her as her mouth formed a small smile, rubbing circles on her back soothingly, looking at his daughter so lovingly. He adored the way she fit so perfectly in his arms. Her tiny body radiating trust and warmth from her slumber, she snuggled against him as her eyebrows furrowed adorably. His large arms were the perfect pillow for her head, large enough she could rest on them and soft enough to fall asleep on them, strong enough so she knew that he would not let her fall and if she did, he would catch her. 

She wasn’t his blood, but he would give her everything. She was not his blood, but he loved her as if he birthed her himself. She was not his blood, but she was a good as. All these thoughts raced through his head as he watched her sleep calmly and soothingly. He could feel her heart thumping against her chest as she held one hand on to his shirt for dear life. He had one arm cradling her and one hand holding her other free hand playing with her soft little fingers. He leaned back never letting go so her head could rest on his chest, she sighed softly, a deep breath leaving her body. He watched her sleep as the rain pattered away on the windows. The serenity of it all was just so perfect. He readjusted her body so her feet could also rest on the couch, they twitched at the movement. His little girl in his arms. So cute. So peaceful. He could not tell that this is the same little girl that annoyed him and disobeyed at all hours of the day because now she was silent and running around in dreamland. His heart could not handle the way she sometimes snorted in her sleep or even mumbled. She looked adorable, all snuggled up against him. His gentle breathing keeping hers steady. ‘I can’t believe she fell asleep on me like this,’ he thought to himself annoyed, but he would not have it any other way. He would not change a single thing about this moment. Not one thing. Nothing could take her away from him. He would do anything to protect her, even herself if necessary.

He closed his eyes and began to remember all their moments. ‘She always knew how to make me smile,’ he thought, ‘Even when I couldn’t bring a new game or album she wanted.’ ‘She also knew how to grind my gears and annoy me’ he chuckled softly. She truly was like a puppy. A puppy that would one day grow up and achieve many remarkable things. There was one memory, it shined brighter than others like a star on the darkest night. Just like she does, even now in her sleeping form.

It was a Sunday afternoon, the sun was casting a gentle golden glow on the street, the sky littered with purple and pink clouds as the day ended. The trees wafting in the warm breeze. He was on leave from base for two weeks after getting an injury to his shoulder. Just a torn muscle, nothing incredibly major. It just meant he was not able to perform his duties. He came back to his daughter waiting for him with a stupid, massive grin on her face. Her hair looked a little wild, but craziness aside she threw her small arms around him and hugged him tight. There was only a handful of times your dad was allowed home when he was working in one of the most dangerous task forces in the world. She was proud but that did not mean she did not miss him. She held on to him for as long as possible, never letting go even as he was trying to walk into the house, tiny feet scurrying along with his. He felt loved and wanted whenever he walked into his home. It was the smile that she gave him that made risking his life worth it. Just like any father, he would bring the moon to see his little girl smile. Even though, she was not his. She made every drill, every mission, every gunshot, every near-death experience worth it. Because it was worth seeing her smile and come running to him every time he got back. His injury did not change the way she saw him, it just meant that she could not climb all over him without trying to hurt him. She did go on an adventure in their house looking for his weapons that he had at home. A wonderful back and forth between doing chores and schoolwork. Running up and down, left, and right, looking for these weapons (he never kept them in the house). He did have to be harsh with her so she wouldn’t do anything that could cause her harm. “If you find anything, don’t use it unless I’m around,” he told her. “Don’t run around with it. Don’t put your finger on the trigger. Don’t try and steal it either because I will know.,” he added sternly. “Aye Aye captain.,” she joked in return, aware of her father’s dream of being a captain. He was not impressed, ‘She’s not taking me seriously, is she?’ he thought to himself. It was times like this he wanted to cherish and keep in his mind forever. Hopefully, before he dies moments like this can flash before his eyes.

Before he realised, he cries softly into her snuggled form. Tears flowing down lovingly as he held her tighter. It pained his heart to even think about her leaving. Even now, she remained asleep, never moving, and never changing. She was the key to keeping his boots on the ground, wherever he went, he knew that his daughter would be waiting for him, waiting to tell him all the amazing and wonderful things that happened at school. The wonderful memories she made with her friends, all stockpiled waiting for him. 

She tumbled out of her slumber and sleepily looked at her father as he sobbed quietly into her hair. She wrestled her arms free from being tightly secured against his body and wrapped them tightly around his chest. Hugging him back and tried to calm him down as he silently sobbed in her hair. She moved so she could wipe his eyes with the pads of the fingers. He looked up and let her continue wiping away his tears. “Don’t be sad, dad.,” she told him softly. He teared up again at these words, but she wiped them away before he could start the waterfalls again. To cheer him up, she covered his eyes with her hands and then uncovered them. Peekaboo! She did this repeatedly while he chuckled as remnants of tears fell down his cheeks. He still held her in his arms as she acted playfully. “Stop it, you’re going to kill me.” he remarked. She continued the game till she was sure he was no longer upset. “Why were you upset? Did I do something wrong?” she asked. 

“No, I just had a lot of feelings, holding you.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re too young to understand what I mean right now.”

“You can tell me.”

“I just want you to stay.” he spoke. It was only six words and to him it might as well have been a novel of emotions. “But I am right here?” she wondered; she was very confused at what he meant. Was it in the literal sense? Was it in a ‘I don’t want you to grow up’ kind of way? Or was it a ‘don’t leave before I do’ kind of way? Even in her confused state, she looked at him and smiled fondly. He could tell behind her eyes that she didn’t know what he meant and to him, maybe that was a good thing, that smile was his reason to stay, the same way when the sun shines, all the colours in the world begin to bloom.

They both just wanted to stay.

[minarixx]

𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 ✯ 𝐀.𝐌𝐢𝐲𝐚

"𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚'𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝"

PAIRING. Miya Atsumu x f!Reader

CONTENT. Angst, ADULTERY, unrequited love, childhood friends to NOT lovers.

A complex and emotionally charged story that revolves around the intertwined lives of Y/N and Atsumu and their affair

WC. 4.3k

A/N. Okay I'm going to put it straight. Y/N is dependant on Atsumu which makes it why she appears so 'weak' or wtv. Atsumu doesn't love Y/N, kind of explained in the story which is why this one is super long. This is probably one of my deep deep one shots and there's reasons for their actions. Not defending cheating and I've said it before, this is going to be a deep one. Also its heavily inspired by Takumi and Reira's relationship.

Masterlink - Songs Unwritten

The soft rays of the morning sun bathed the small coastal town where Y/N and Atsumu grew up together. The sound of crashing waves served as the backdrop to the story of two childhood friends who shared an unbreakable bond that even fate couldn't sever.

Y/N and Atsumu had been inseparable since they were little, finding solace in each other's company. Atsumu's childhood was marked by tragedy when he lost his mother at a tender age. Grief weighed heavy on his young heart, and he faced a rough path ahead. But amid the darkness, Y/N stood like a beacon of light, guiding him through the shadows.

When the news first broke of his mother, she found him sitting alone on the beach they had spent countless hours playing as children. The usually lively and energetic boy seemed like a mere shadow of himself, lost in the depths of grief. Y/N approached him quietly, her heart aching at the sight of her dear friend in pain.

"Atsumu," she whispered, her voice filled with gentle concern.

Atsumu looked up, his tear-streaked face meeting her worried gaze. He didn't say anything, but the unspoken anguish in his eyes told Y/N everything she needed to know.

Without a word, she sat down beside him, wrapping her arms around him in a comforting embrace. She didn't try to offer empty words of consolation; she knew that nothing she said could take away the pain he felt. Instead, she simply held him close, allowing him to lean on her for support.

As the waves crashed against the shore, Y/N stayed by his side, offering him the solace he desperately needed. Time seemed to lose its meaning as they sat there, the world around them fading into insignificance. Y/N understood the power of silent companionship, and she was determined to be there for him in his darkest hour.

"It hurts so much, Y/N," Atsumu finally choked out, his voice breaking with emotion.

"I know," Y/N replied, her voice equally choked with emotion. "I can't take away your pain, Atsumu, but I promise you won't have to face it alone."

Atsumu looked at her, gratitude mingling with sorrow in his eyes. "Thank you, Y/N. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You don't have to worry about that," Y/N said, her voice firm with conviction. "I'll be here for you, no matter what. We've always been there for each other, right?"

Atsumu nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Yeah, we have."

In the days that followed, Y/N kept true to her word. She stayed by Atsumu's side, offering him a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear whenever he needed it. She helped him make funeral arrangements and stood with him as he bid his final farewell to his mother.

Through it all, Y/N remained a pillar of strength for Atsumu, guiding him through the storm of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. She reminded him of the happy memories they had shared, and together, they found solace in the knowledge that his mother's love would always be with him.

As time passed, Atsumu's wounds began to heal, but the memory of his mother remained etched in his heart. And through it all, Y/N continued to be his rock, the one constant presence in his life, just as she had been since their childhood.

Their bond grew even stronger, cemented by the trials they had faced together. Atsumu knew that he could always count on Y/N, and she knew that her place in his life was irreplaceable.

From their earliest memories, Y/N had been the pure entity in Atsumu's life. She possessed a quiet strength that calmed the storm in his heart. The two of them spent countless hours playing on the beach, building sandcastles and chasing seagulls. But as they grew older, Atsumu's shared passion for volleyball became the center of their universe.

Atsumu discovered his love for the sport during his elementary school years, and Y/N became his muse and inspiration. Because of that, Atsumu soared to new heights, earning a spot in the national team and eventually securing a place in the pro Olympic team.

Throughout their journey in the world of volleyball, Y/N stood by Atsumu's side, managing every aspect of his career. Her unwavering support and dedication were unparalleled. She managed his schedules, arranged training sessions, and took care of all the logistical details, allowing Atsumu to focus solely on his game.

As the years passed, Y/N’s admiration for Atsumu grew deeper, but in the pursuit of their dreams, the world presented them with a harsh reality when Atsumu’s one night stand, Emi, was pregnant. 

Atsumu's heart felt like an impenetrable fortress as he delivered the news to Y/N. He revealed Emi's pregnancy with a cold detachment that left Y/N reeling. She had always hoped for a different outcome, but the reality was far from her dreams.

"Y/N, I wanted you to know that Emi is pregnant," Atsumu said flatly, his gaze avoiding her eyes.

Y/N's heart sank, and she struggled to keep her composure. "Oh, I see."

Atsumu continued, his voice void of emotion. "We've decided to get married to avoid any potential scandal. It's the right thing to do."

She tried to hide her hurt, burying her feelings deep within. "I understand, Atsumu. It's important to consider what's best for everyone involved."

But her heart was breaking, knowing that Atsumu didn't care for her the way she cared for him. He saw their night together as a mere blip in the grand scheme of things, while she held onto it like a precious memory she couldn't let go of.

As the days passed, Y/N watched Atsumu prepare for his impending marriage with a heavy heart. She couldn't help but feel a sense of betrayal, knowing that he was marrying someone he didn't truly love, while her love for him remained unrequited.

One evening, as the sun set over the horizon, Y/N found herself seeking solace in their favorite spot on the beach. Atsumu found her there, his face expressionless as he approached.

"Y/N, are you okay?" he asked, his voice tinged with a hint of concern.

She forced a smile, masking her true emotions. "I'm fine, Atsumu. Just thinking about everything."

Atsumu sat down beside her, the distance between them feeling vast and insurmountable. "I know this isn't easy for you, and I'm sorry for that."

Her heart clenched at his words, knowing that he was apologizing out of obligation rather than genuine concern. "It's not your fault, Atsumu. You have to do what's right for you and your family."

Atsumu looked away, seemingly unable to confront the reality of their situation. "I hope you'll still be there for me, Y/N. You've always been my rock."

Y/N fought back tears, her voice soft but resolute. "Of course, Atsumu. I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens."

And in that moment, she knew that her love for him would never waver, even if his heart belonged to another. Y/N understood that she couldn't force him to feel something he didn't, but she also couldn't abandon the one person who had always been there for her.

As the waves crashed against the shore, Y/N found strength in knowing that she would continue to be Atsumu's source of comfort, even if he could never return her love.

He couldn't abandon Y/N, not after all she had done for him. His conscience struggled with the guilt of leaving her behind. Still, he couldn't deny the responsibility he held for Emi and the child growing inside her. The weight of responsibility bore down on him, and he decided to marry Emi, promising to care for her and their child.

Y/N, though heartbroken, put on a brave face and continued to support Atsumu as his friend. She knew he needed her now more than ever, and she refused to abandon him, just as he refused to abandon her. But deep inside, she couldn't help but hope that someday, he would see her as more than a friend and manager.

Y/N understood the complexity of their relationship. She knew Atsumu used her presence and affection to fill the void in his heart, but she couldn't bring herself to deny him. She loved him unconditionally, even if it meant being the second choice in his life.

One day, as Y/N was going through Atsumu's schedule and emails, she noticed a particular message that caught her eye. It was an invitation to Atsumu's wedding. Her heart sank as she read the words on the screen, and a mix of emotions overwhelmed her.

For a moment, she felt a wave of jealousy and heartbreak, knowing that the man she loved was about to marry someone else. But beneath those emotions, she also felt happiness for him, knowing that he had found love and a family of his own.

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she closed the email. She couldn't bear to think of a life without Atsumu by her side, but she had always known that this day might come. He deserved happiness, even if it wasn't with her.

With a heavy heart, Y/N decided to confront Atsumu. She found him at the training facility, sweating and focused as he prepared for his next game. She took a deep breath, steadying herself for the conversation ahead.

"Atsumu," she called out, her voice tinged with both sadness and resolve.

He turned to her, a warm smile lighting up his face. "Hey, Y/N. What's up?"

Y/N tried to smile back, but the weight of her emotions made it difficult. "I saw the email," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Congratulations on your wedding."

Atsumu's expression softened, and he approached her, sensing the heaviness in her words. "Thank you, Y/N. I wanted to talk to you about it."

Y/N shook her head gently, not wanting to burden him with her feelings. "It's okay, Atsumu. I understand. You deserve to be happy."

His brow furrowed with concern, Atsumu reached out to cup her cheek. "Y/N, you mean the world to me. You know that, right? You've always been there for me, and I'll never forget that."

A single tear escaped Y/N's eye, and she leaned into his touch, savoring the comfort it brought. "I know, Atsumu. And I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens."

He pulled her into a warm embrace, holding her close. "You're my rock, Y/N. I couldn't have achieved any of this without you."

As much as Y/N wanted to confess her feelings at that moment, she held back, not wanting to put any burden on Atsumu before his big day. She cherished the closeness they shared, even if it was tinged with a bittersweet ache.

The day of the wedding arrived, and Y/N stood at the back of the venue, watching as Atsumu and his bride exchanged vows. Her heart swelled with both joy and heartache as she witnessed the love between them. She couldn't help but wonder if she would ever find a love like that for herself.

Amid the celebrations, Y/N found herself stealing glances at Atsumu, his happiness radiating from him. He caught her eye at one point, and a soft smile played on his lips, as if he could sense her turmoil. It only deepened the ache in her heart.

The aftermath of Atsumu's wedding was a tumultuous time for Y/N. She tried to suppress her feelings for him, burying them deep within her heart while continuing to be the dedicated friend he relied on.

As time went by, Atsumu found it increasingly difficult to keep Y/N at a distance. She had been his sanctuary, his escape from the harsh realities of his troubled childhood. She was the one thing that made life bearable, the pure and soothing melody amidst the cacophony of his past.

But as he matured, he realized that he couldn't keep clinging to the illusion of Y/N as his saving grace. She was a person with her own desires, dreams, and emotions, not just a figure in his life to bring him comfort. He wanted her to be happy, but he struggled to face the reality that maybe he couldn't be the one to give her that happiness.

Atsumu tried to find his own path, embracing his passion for volleyball, pursuing a career as an Olympic athlete and now a married man. He discovered a purpose beyond just relying on Y/N, but deep down, he knew that her feelings for him hadn't disappeared. 

Yet Y/N couldn't help but yearn for more from Atsumu. As they grew older, she wanted to be seen not just as his source of comfort but as a woman with her own identity. She wanted to share a genuine connection with him, beyond their childhood bond. Her love for him only intensified as she saw him flourish and succeed, but she also knew that she couldn't sacrifice her own desires and happiness for his sake.

One evening, as the sun set over the beach, Y/N and Atsumu sat side by side, the waves gently lapping at their feet. The atmosphere was calm, and the air was filled with a comfortable silence.

Y/N spoke softly, her eyes fixed on the horizon. "I'm happy for you, Atsumu. I really am. Emi is a wonderful woman, and I know she loves you deeply."

Atsumu smiled, his hand reaching out to pat her on her head, stroking it. "Thank you, Y/N. Your support means everything to me."

Y/N's voice was tinged with vulnerability as she finally mustered the courage to address the unspoken tension between them. "Atsumu, I need to talk to you about something important."

Atsumu's face remained impassive, his guard firmly in place. "Go ahead, Y/N."

Her heart sank but she pressed on, determined to bring their feelings to light. "I’ve been in love with you for so many years now. I don't think I can see you with another woman and live the life I wanted with you!"

Atsumu's eyes flickered, a distant look in his gaze. "Y/N, you're important to me, but you're overthinking things. We're friends, that's it."

Her heart shattered, but she refused to show weakness. "Friends... is that all you see me as, Atsumu?"

He sighed, as if her emotions were a burden he'd rather not carry. "I don't want to deal with this right now. Can we just drop it?"

Y/N bit her lip, holding back tears as she nodded. "Sure, Atsumu. We can drop it."

The silence that followed felt suffocating, filled with unspoken words and shattered dreams. Atsumu's distance was like a cold wall between them, and Y/N felt herself retreating further into her own world of unrequited love.

As the days passed, Atsumu remained aloof, avoiding any conversations that delved into their emotions. Y/N tried to maintain their friendship, but the pain of his indifference was becoming too much to bear.

One evening, as they found themselves alone after a volleyball game, Y/N couldn't contain her emotions any longer. "Atsumu, I can't keep pretending that everything's okay. You're so distant, and it hurts."

Atsumu glanced at her, his expression unchanged. "I have a lot on my plate right now. I can't deal with this emotional drama."

Her voice trembled, her pain slipping through her defenses. "It's not just drama, Atsumu. These are my feelings, and they matter."

He sighed, frustration creeping into his tone. "Look, Y/N, I don't know what you want me to say. I don't feel the same way, and I can't force myself to."

The weight of his words hung in the air, a painful admission of their mismatched feelings. Y/N felt like an intruder in her own heart, unwelcome and rejected.

As the distance between them grew, Y/N felt like she was losing the one person who had always been her anchor. She couldn't bear the coldness that had replaced the warmth of their friendship, but she didn't know how to bridge the gap between them.

In the depths of his heart, Atsumu knew that Y/N had fallen deeply in love with him. Her unwavering support and the sacrifices she made for him were undeniable signs of her feelings. He was aware that she longed for him to see her as more than just a friend, to acknowledge her as a woman, and to reciprocate the love she held for him.

Atsumu was no stranger to the fact that he was the reason for Y/N's dependence on him. He couldn't forget how she had been his haven during their tumultuous childhood, the one person who had believed in him when nobody else did. She had been his comfort, his refuge, and his muse for volleyball, unknowingly becoming the foundation upon which his life was built.

Guilt gnawed at him as he realized that he owed so much to Y/N. He felt an obligation that he couldn't just abandon her even after all the times she had been his guiding light. However, in his conflicted heart, he couldn't find the same depth of emotion for her that she had for him.

Every encounter with Y/N was tinged with a bittersweet sense of duty. He wanted to give her the experience of being seen as a woman, to make her feel desired and cherished, even if it was just for those stolen moments. But deep down, Atsumu couldn't deny that his heart belonged elsewhere, to a woman he was legally bound to and the child they were about to have.

He knew he couldn't deny the truth any longer – Y/N needed to be seen, loved, and cherished as the woman she was. The walls he had built around his heart began to crumble as he saw the pain in her eyes, and he knew that he couldn't keep her caged in the role he had assigned to her.

One night, after a particularly emotional game, Atsumu sought solace in Y/N's presence. They were alone in his hotel room, and he sat on the edge of the bed, exhaustion etched on his face.

Y/N approached him, concerned in her eyes. "Are you okay, Atsumu?"

He looked up at her, his guard lowered, and vulnerability shining through. "I'm just... tired, Y/N. Tired of pretending that I'm happy when I'm not."

Y/N sat beside him, offering her shoulder to lean on. "You don't have to pretend with me, Atsumu. I'm here for you, always."

Atsumu turned to her, his gaze intense. "You're the only one who truly understands me, Y/N. You're my comfort, my refuge."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat, but she swallowed the lump in her throat, not daring to reveal her own feelings just yet. "You mean a lot to me too, Atsumu. You always will."

The tension in the room was palpable, and for a moment, it seemed as though they might bridge the gap between friendship and something more.

Their guard slipped, and the boundaries between friendship and desire blurred. The passion that had been simmering beneath the surface for so long erupted, and they found solace in each other's arms.

In the heat of the moment, they forgot about the world outside, the consequences of their actions, and the pain that would inevitably follow. For a brief time, they shared an intimate connection, but it was far from what Y/N had hoped for. She yearned for more than a fleeting encounter; she longed for Atsumu's love and devotion.

Their affair was a complex dance of emotions, built on a foundation of dependence, gratitude, and unrequited love. Atsumu's actions were driven by a sense of indebtedness, while Y/N's heart was entangled in the love she couldn't help but feel for the man who had become her everything. The affair was born out of a desperate desire to give Y/N what she wanted, even if he couldn't offer her the love she deserved. Atsumu knew that he could provide her with fleeting moments of passion and physical closeness, even if it wouldn't heal the wounds of her unrequited love.

With the weight of their emotions pressing upon them, they gave in to temptation, having an affair that only heightened the complexity of their relationship. Atsumu grappled with guilt and confusion, knowing that he couldn't offer Y/N the love she deserved. Their connection was intense, but it lacked the depth she craved.

When Y/N finally woke up fully, she found herself alone in the hotel room. Atsumu was gone, leaving behind only the faint traces of their fleeting intimacy. The reality of the situation hit her like a tidal wave, and the weight of her unrequited love settled heavily upon her heart.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized that nothing had changed between them. Their night together had been a momentary escape, but it hadn't altered Atsumu's feelings for her. He had sought comfort in her arms, but it wasn't love that brought him there; it was his need for solace and a temporary escape from his responsibilities.

The realization crushed Y/N. She had allowed herself to believe, if only for a brief moment, that their connection had deepened into something more. But the truth was evident now – Atsumu's heart belonged to another, and she would forever be relegated to the role of a friend, a manager, and nothing more.

With trembling hands, Y/N wiped away her tears, determined to regain her composure. 

For Y/N, it was both a bittersweet moment of passion and a heart-wrenching realization that her love for Atsumu might always be unrequited. She felt like a songbird trapped in a cage of her own making, unable to spread her wings and be her own person.

Y/N struggled to find her own identity outside of Atsumu's shadow. She knew that she deserved more than being a source of comfort whenever he needed solace. She yearned to break free from the cage she had willingly entered and find her own happiness, even if it meant letting go of the one person who had defined so much of her life.

The pain of unrequited love weighed heavily on her shoulders, she found herself unable to let go of Atsumu. The affair they had embarked upon only intensified the conflict within her, as it became a bitter reminder of his emotional unavailability.

Despite the heartache and knowledge that Atsumu didn't truly love her, Y/N couldn't resist the allure of their stolen moments together. She craved his touch, his presence, and the temporary illusion of being loved, even though deep down, she knew it wasn't real.

In the stillness of the night, after each encounter with Atsumu, she would find herself crying, her tears mingling with the tumultuous emotions within. She knew she was just a placeholder, a fleeting escape from the reality. But she was powerless to resist, chained to her love for him like a captive to her captor.

The affair had turned into a double-edged sword, providing moments of ecstasy intertwined with the bitter taste of her unrequited love. Atsumu's distance outside of their encounters became more pronounced, leaving her feeling isolated and alone even in his presence.

Each time she saw him with his wife, Emi, or heard him talk about their future together, it was a painful reminder of where she stood in his life – a secret, a guilty pleasure. The disparity between her feelings and his indifference was a chasm that seemed impossible to bridge.

Y/N knew she was losing herself in this affair, but the love she felt for Atsumu was a relentless force, pulling her back into his arms time and time again. The brief moments of passion only served to amplify her heartache, leaving her feeling more broken than ever.

And yet, she couldn't find the strength to break free. The fear of losing the one connection she had with him, no matter how flawed and unfulfilling, was too great. She clung to their encounters like a lifeline, even as it dragged her deeper into the abyss of unrequited love.

In the quiet solitude of her own space, she would cry silent tears, mourning the love she could never have while convincing herself that this was better than nothing. Her heart may have been shattered, but her love for Atsumu burned bright, a painful flame she couldn't extinguish.

Navigating the complexities of love and heartbreak, clinging to a love that seemed destined to remain one-sided. She found herself entangled in a web of emotions, torn between holding onto Atsumu and finding the strength to let go. But in the depths of her heart, she knew that her love for him was a double-edged sword, both her salvation and her torment.

Trapped in a web of love and dependence. She clung to the stolen moments with Atsumu, even though she knew they weren’t out of intimacy or love. Her heart ached for his love, but she couldn't bear to let him go, not when he was the very reason for her existence.

In the quiet moments after their encounters, when the passion had faded and reality crept back in, Y/N would find herself crying tears of both joy and despair. She cherished the memories of their moments together, yet she couldn't escape the pain of knowing that Atsumu's heart belonged elsewhere.

The bittersweet truth was that Y/N knew that she would forever remain the other woman, a melody destined to play in the background of Atsumu's life, never to take center stage in his heart.

©Minarixx 2023 - please don't copy, repost or translate without my knowledge credit or permission.

[xbarrjallenx]

Dancing At A Funeral

Pairing: Ben Hargreeves x Gender-Neutral!Reader Summary: (Y/N) reminisced some of their memories with Ben during his funeral. Requested: Yes / No Word count: 2.592 Posted: 23.06.2022 Warning(s): Ben’s death, fluff, grief, mentions of blood, season two spoilers, unedited imagine Song inspiration: Good Grief - Bastille A/N: I wrote this imagine way back in 2020, after finishing Season 2, so it’s been sitting in my drafts for way too long and just posting it to celebrate Season 3. Yay! It’s too long, I know, but I hope you still like it. Also, should I keep this with Vanya or should I change to Viktor now? The happening dates back to Season 1, so I am not sure. Feedbacks are always appreciated, because my writing is very rusty. Help your girl to improve, please! Also, English is not my first language, so mistakes can be found. I’m sorry and thank you! - G. x Take note: (Y/N) and the Hargreeves siblings were twenty-one years old during the funeral. 

It was one gloomy afternoon for six loving young adults: five of them were his extraordinary siblings and the remaining one was you, his beloved best friend.

The group was still shaken up for the heartbreaking news, but all of you managed to suppress the overflowing emotions by putting up your best poker face whilst you formed two neat semi-circles on both sides of his snow-covered casket.

“Why don’t you ever talk to your siblings about your feelings? Look at you right now: messy and all over the place.” You questioned while you pulled him in a gentle and comforting embrace.

“Emotions aren’t welcomed nor appreciated in the Hargreeves’ household, (Y/N). We’re all messed up, my siblings are just stronger than me.” He calmly informed you, lingering the warmth and comfort that your body emitted.

Ben Hargreeves - the sweetest and the most caring person that you have ever met in your life. He was loyal and understanding, an extraordinary person, abilities and character-wise.

“(Y/N), is everything all right?” Vanya derailed your train of thoughts, noticing how fixated your eyes were on your best friend’s picture - he seemed so happy and light-hearted.

“Yes. Thank you, Vanya!” You forcefully smiled, glancing at her with your slightly watery eyes. You were glad that she was still concerned about you, even though you barely saw her when Ben was still alive.

The rest of the Hargreeves siblings gave you a solace stare soon after, silently letting you know that they had your back at all times. It was a cold and snowy day, but their kindness and sympathy were enough to warm your body and your miserable heart.

“Kudos to you for staying strong, (Y/N)!” Klaus proudly exclaimed, slightly making you smile for his kind remarks.

Klaus. Klaus was the most supportive Hargreeves ever. He was the contrary of Ben, who was introvert, silent and shy. Klaus was rather extrovert, dorky and talkative. In fact, when the former wasn’t in the mood of talking, he was more of a listener, the latter was your companion on sputtering nonsense.

You were very grateful of them, Ben and Klaus were surely the reason that you have met each other, that you have become friends.

“Hey, dear!” A boy about your age startled you as he approached you whilst you bit on you calorie bomb pastry. “I’m so sorry to scare you, but I want to inform you that you have a stalker over there.” He pointed a booth with six twelve year olds, wearing immaculate and familiar uniforms: The Umbrella Academy.

They were famous. Well, the daily news were always full of them, so it was impossible to not acknowledge them.

“Excuse me?” You confusedly corrugated your forehead as you put your dessert back on its plate. “Aren’t you part of that group?”

He hummed and nodded. “Yes, but do you see that little kid there: shiny jet black hair, cute almond eyes, so handsome?” He moved his hands as he sincerely described the boy. “He’s my brother and he’s been admiring you since we came in.”

“That’s creepy, but he’s cute.” You chuckled as you waved your hands towards the children’s direction and the concerned boy covered his face with his both hands out of embarrassment, watching you and his brother through his fingers.

That moment was the beginning of your friendship with the Hargreeves siblings and, as they snuck out of their house almost every night to meet you at Griddy’s Doughnuts, you slowly learnt everything about them: from how their superpowers functioned to how dysfunctional their family was.

Although you got along very well with all of them, it was needless to say that your relationship with Ben, Klaus and Vanya were stronger. They were the most vulnerable ones in the Academy and they were never afraid to open up to you.

The friendship was amazing and it quickly grew, but, as the years went by, you also started falling apart - less siblings came to your daily meet ups, until Ben and Klaus were the only ones left. It didn’t mean that you hated the other siblings, though, you were still very fond of them, you were just not as close as before.

“Your bed is so soft!” Klaus exhaustedly commented as he messily plopped himself on your bed. The three of you decided to change your location since the pastries at Griddy’s Doughnuts started making you feel nauseous. You surely have tasted everything in that diner!

“Bookworm!” Ben shrieked at the sight of your huge book collection - it was his comfort object, mostly after using his powers during a mission.

Your friendship was not rocket science at all: they found their comfort person and they were grateful to have you. You were their only best friend and they perfectly knew that they could count on you, and vice versa. They were your safe haven, the ones who kept you safe and warm, and you were their pole star, the one who guided them when they were feeling lost or overwhelmed of their powers and Dad’s rules.

The two teenagers enjoyed visiting you almost every night, sometimes both of them would knock on your window, most times it would just be Ben, but never only Klaus, until one day, that very specific day.

“(Y/N)!” A trembling Klaus entered your window, despair and sorrow behind his voice. “(Y/N)!”

He was shaken up and felt uneasy. You were almost sure that something bad has happened in the Academy. “Klaus, breathe. Settle down and we’ll talk about it.”

You gave him your water bottle, letting him catch his breath. “(Y/N).”

“Klaus, take your time.” You gently announced, calming him down as you rubbed his back. What could have possibly happened? Nothing really bad, you hoped.

You both remained in silence for a little while - Klaus defeated his breathlessness and you watched him as he halted his emotions from spilling.

“Are you ready?” You carefully asked, getting the empty water bottle from Klaus’ hand. He just nodded in response. “All right, slowly and calmly.”

He started trembling once again and you continued rubbing his back, letting him know that he was not alone. He hardly swallowed as he gathered his courage to tell you everything.

You started panicking by seeing his actions, but you were the fortress between the two of you, you couldn’t break nor fall. Not right now.

“Something in the mission went wrong,” He sadly started, staring straightly in your eyes. “and Ben is gone.”

A big lump in your throat suddenly formed and it was very hard to swallow. Your shoulders fell down like teardrops, salted water started streaming down your face and your world fell apart.

Your hand and knees started to shake, not knowing how to take the news in. “It’s not a good joke, Klaus. You are lying!” You blurted out, eyes started to sting badly.

Ben meant so much to you and he perfectly knew it. He couldn’t just come over and joke about Ben’s life, it was illegal.

“(Y/N), honey.” Klaus engulfed you in a comforting hug, calming you down as you started to messily sob against the crook of his neck. You were hurt and your chest was so tight, heart breaking in small smithereens - he was now the one who needed to stay strong, for the both of you. “Yes, I know, I know. Just let it out, don’t be afraid.”

Well, so much for being the fortress. You felt that you weren’t strong, not at all - the enemy has attacked you one time and you quickly fell, you quickly broke. Ben and Klaus were the ones who gave you strength, but one of them brought all of it with him, in his grave.

“(Y/N),” A deep voice quickly shooed your thoughts away: Sir Reginald Hargreeves. “would you like to say a few words?”

You were so busy in reminiscing that you didn’t notice Reginald, Grace and Pogo arriving. Those memories with Ben made you happy, but a huge horde of sadness washed you away once the old man brought you back to reality: Ben was still dead.

Reginald Hargreeves never liked you and it was strange that he didn’t throw a fit as soon as he saw you in one of his kids’ funeral - perhaps it was out of respect for Ben. He has always reputed you as a bad influence to his children, mostly to Ben, but the teenagers stood up for you uncountable times, breaking the rules just to see you and Ben happy and smiling.

“No, Sir Hargreeves. Thank you!” Your voice broke in the middle of the short sentence and the siblings hastily gave you a comforting look, nonetheless their distressed faces. They hated seeing you suffer, just as much as you all hated Reginald and that meant a really lot.

The old man nodded in response and, as soon as he started walking back inside his mansion, Grace and Pogo following soon after, the sobbing of the Academy members intensified, pouring their hearts out whilst tears uncontrollably streamed down their faces.

“It’s nobody’s fault!” Vanya strongly pointed out, trying to make her siblings feel better after the eulogy that you have just missed.

“How would you know, Vanya? You weren’t even on the mission.” Diego sputtered and your heart ached at Vanya’s failed attempt of consoling her siblings.

Vanya softly gasped, tightly holding her black umbrella before leaving the courtyard. She must have felt left out, again.

“Nice going, asshole!” Luther fiercely spat, defending Vanya - a thing that Ben usually did.

You faced the remaining siblings and they started arguing between them again, sending you back to remembering your memories of Ben, of how he would run to your house to avoid his siblings’ futile fight.

“Hey, can I stay for a little while with you?” He shyly asked, hoping you wouldn’t turn his request down.

“Are your siblings fighting again?” You empathically questioned him, putting down the book that you were reading on your desk.

“Unfortunately.” His shoulders dropped down, sadly looking in your eyes. It hurt him to see his siblings argue over everything.

You smiled at him and put a vinyl record on your player, Stand By Me, sung by Ben E. King, starting. “I dedicate this song to you, Benerino!”

He quickly smiled and hummed to the song, both of you proudly singing when the chorus would come.

“Thank you.” He quietly murmured in your ear after you pulled him into a heartwarming hug.

You missed him. You missed him so damn much.

“(Y/N),” Klaus softly called you, thread of thoughts cut once again. “shall we dance?”

You raised an eyebrow and the waterworks turned on once again: Vanya was playing Stand By Me with her violin and Klaus remembered how Ben would ask you to dance whenever his favourite song played.

“Gladly!” You grabbed Klaus’ hand, letting go of your umbrella, snow flakes quickly resting on your head and shoulders.

You and Klaus slowly danced around Ben’s coffin. It seemed like you two were celebrating that the Horror was gone, but you were just cherishing the memories you shared with his beloved brother.

“Dad’s not around anymore, you can let your tears fall freely.” Klaus reminded you, knowing how much you were trying to contain your emotions.

“I just miss him, Klaus,” You truthfully admitted. “I miss him so much.”

Klaus’ glance shifted from you to something behind you, but he still listened to your confession. “I am sure that he misses you, too.”

When the song finished, you asked the boy to leave you for a little while, wanting to talk to the unanimated Ben for a few minutes. He gladly respected you decision and he went towards the gazebo, eyes fixated on you, or maybe on the empty spot next to you. Your eyes were blurry because of the tears, so you couldn’t really figure it out.

“Hey, Benerino!” You sweetly chuckled as you caressed the photo on his casket, snow slowly melting because of your hand’s warmth. “You’re gone too soon, but I hope you feel better wherever you are right now, albeit I still think that it’s just unfair. What’s going to be left of the world, if you’re not in it, huh?”

The thought of not growing old with him destroyed you. You were perfect for each other, you had loads of amazing things with him, and you wished you had Klaus’ powers to conjure Ben up. You wanted to see him again.

“You’ll be now missing from the photographs in the mansion. You gave me another reason to stop coming in this hellhole.” You softly laughed.

God, how much you missed hearing his laugh after your horrible jokes and puns.

“I’ve always told you to take care, Hargreeves.” You frowned. “We’d be on my bed right now, laughing and cuddling to battle the cold whilst Klaus intoxicated us with his messily rolled joint.”

You hated it when Klaus was drugged, but it was the anaesthesia to his awful life.

“Ben, I am so sorry if I never had the courage to tell you this, but I love you so much. I love you more than anything in my life and it just hurts because you would never know anything about it and I would never know what you think about it.” You messily wiped your eyes with the back of your hand.

“(Y/N)!” A Ben Hargreeves covered in dried blood approached you as soon as he entered your window. Your eyes nearly popped out of their orbit at the sight of him and you rushed towards his direction, wanting to engulf him in a huge bear-hug. “Don’t!”

You feigned offence and raised an eyebrow. “All right, but, at least, tell me that none of it is yours.”

He quietly chuckled, softly shaking his head. “Don’t you worry about it.”

“Well, thank goodness!” You sighed in relief. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He refused at first, but he caved in soon after. He came up to the terms that he couldn’t hug you if he was covered in blood and vice versa.

“You know, I’m the one with superpowers here, but you are way more powerful than me.” He confessed as you both plopped yourselves on your bed.

“How could you even say that, dummy?” You wondered, looking at his perfect face.

His face turned serious. “You perfectly know how I feel about myself after a mission, after killing people,” Absolutely! He would be disgusted to the point of despising his powers and existence. “but just with the sight of your gleeful smile, I already feel better and stronger.”

Ben was able to make you smile widely, thinking that he was very sweet to say those words. Little did you know he has just  professed the feelings he had for you.

“Thank you so much for these nine years of friendship, Ben.” You shortly nodded. “You have been an awesome best friend.”

As soon as you finished, you called Klaus. He was looking on the spot next to you and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Are you fine, Klaus?” You gently checked on the Séance, worrying about his sanity. “Are ghosts bothering you again?”

“Please don’t forget him.” He blurted out, ignoring your questions. Was Ben around you? Did he conjure him?

You shook your head to stop yourself from being delusional and answered Klaus. “How can I forget him? Every minute and every hour, I miss him, I miss him more.”

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Dear Astra,

This is two part anon. Hope you are doing okay. I've come back from hell (lol just kidding, I got a heavy fever for like a week, and then spent the next 2 weeks catching up with my homework). How are you? I've learned it the hard way that you should always drink enough fluids, so remember your daily water!

During my time in bed, I thought of a cute fic idea that I'd love to tell you (not that I'm urging you to write, I just wanna talk). Reader and Sabo are both serious workers in the RA. However, whenever they have time alone, Sabo'll turn into a huge size golden retriever, with the puppy eyes yearning for reader's touch and praise. (Aizzzzz I melted while fantasizing about this, like imagine Sabo goes "Y/N~ pat my head, please" while kneeling down hugging reader's waist. OH GOD I'M DYING). Oh I also have a fantasy for Ace, which is nsfw :^) (can't help it ig, I'm not telling it if you're not curious tho, since I know sharing these +18 thoughts can be a bit 'meh' to some people)

Also I've spent a huge amount of time gaming while being sick and found myself a new husbando alongside Ace ehehe it's Roland from Punishing Gray Raven if you wanna check it out.

I'm curious if you like listening to music or not? I've been into a Japanese band recently, which is a surprise because I've rarely heard any Japanese song. But I love them and I hope they'll get more love (just like the way I love you *wink wink* lol)

I think it's because I've done everything that I'm so hyped now. I feel like this message is too long and full of random bs. But yeahhhh boiiiii, I finished everything today, I'm so happy.

Oh yeah, recently you posted a delete announcement that freaks the loving Ace out of me. I'm sorry for what you had to go through but half of me was like "not the Ace fics, not the Ace fics, please please anything but the Ace fics"

Sorry if these topics are so random, I'm just sharing my 'highlights in life' with you. Idk maybe because it makes me happy I hope it makes you happy too. Aight my hype has calmed down, Imma take my leave. Have a great day/night. Best wishes to whatever you're doing and PLEASE REMEMBER TO STAY HYDRATED (sorry if it's too aggressive, I'll stop if you don't like it. It's just that I've been through the worst because of it so I don't want you to experience that) Aight, this is already longer than my project essay, see you!

I finally got around to writing something!!! So it's not as long as some of my others things and definately not as long as I would have liked, however, considering I'm sleep deprived, can't sleep, and haven't written in months, I'm not displeased with it!

Warnings: FLUFF!!!

Word Count: 980

     Smiling, you ran your hands through Sabo’s wavy blond locks as he snuggled his head into your stomach. While the two of you both worked hard, highly dedicated to the Army’s cause, you both sometimes wished to spend more time together like this. In the privacy of your room, you could both relax, let down your guards, and be vulnerable. Sabo never hid who he was, he was always true to himself, to his dreams and aspirations, to his desires, hobbies, and interests; that being said, this was a side only you ever saw. Here, in the safety of your room, he allowed himself to melt into your embrace, to yearn for your praise, and to nuzzle into your touch; as if he was a touch starved child and not the strong, independent, second-in-command of the RA. A blond haired, lovesick, human puppy. 

     “Did I do alright on the last mission?” he asked softly, nuzzling against you even more, arms tightening around your waist, making you laugh slightly. You knew exactly what he was after. It wasn’t like you minded and it wasn’t like he was purposefully seeking your attention and praise in an annoying manner, but hearing you say it always made his heart skip a beat and his stomach flutter.

     “You did more than alright, you did spectacularly. A perfect 10/10 like always.” you said, caressing his cheek as he let out a pleased, content noise as he attempted to snuggle further into your stomach.

     “You know I always try my best for you.” he said softly, his words muffled by your stomach.

     “Oh? So you don’t give your all simply for the RA?” you teased, making him whine. He knew you were teasing, but part of him felt a lump form in his throat, as if he’d disappointed you for only giving his 100% for you.

     “No, I promise, I give my all for the Army, I promise, I just-” “Shhh, I know, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I know you’ll always do your best, for me or for our cause.” You said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. Sabo sighed happily at the feeling of your lips against his skin, relaxing once more into your touch. You’d pull him closer and wrap your arms around him, comforting him if he hadn’t been cuddled up to you like he was at the moment, the both of you laying on the bed, his tall form curled up so he could fit on the bed while laying his head on your stomach. He reminded you so much of a golden retriever at moments like these. A sweet puppy curled up with their loved one, tail wagging softly as they snuggled up to them, eyes begging for praise and pets. Sometimes you liked to joke that he should have found a canine zoan devil fruit instead so that he could have a real tail to wag back and forth. Not that you weren’t happy that he’d found his brother’s devil fruit. In fact, you loved that he’d eaten the Mera Mera fruit, enjoying the warmth that radiated from his body on cold nights as you held each other close. 

     He’d loved how you’d spent the entire night telling him how amazing his new abilities were and how happy you were that he’d succeeded in tracking down and eating something that meant so much to him.

     “Thank you for always working so hard, for doing so much for everyone. You’re always doing everything you can and you deserve so much for what you do.” you said, making him grin like a mad man as he attempted to nuzzle his face further into you again, as if trying to hide how giddy your words made him. 

     “Can… can I ask you for something then?” he asked, looking up at you once more with those large, pleading, puppy eyes of his. You giggled and nodded, brushing his hair out of his face, “can we go out to my favorite restaurant later? I know it’s pretty far away, but they make the best ramen.” he requested, making you chuckle as you shook your head at his request.

     “Of course we can. We’ll get you as much ramen as you want and even something for dessert if you’d like. Afterwards, we can spend the rest of the day snuggled up in bed, or I can spend the rest of the day just running my fingers through your hair while you sleep.” you offered, drawing more happy noises mixed with excitement from his throat. 

     “Thank you, you’re so amazing.” he said, his large grin plastered across his face. At this rate, you were pretty sure his smile wouldn’t die down until morning, fairly certain that he’d fall asleep with that insanely large grin. 

     “Pretty sure you’re the amazing one, sweetheart. So strong, brave, and kind. Nobody could possibly be as astounding as you.” you praised, making him wiggle around on the bed in delight. You could practically see the non-existent tail thumping against the mattress. Pulling him away from your abdomen, you began to pepper his face in sweet kisses, bringing a loopy, delighted, love drunk look to his face before pulling him into your chest, resting his head just above your heart, its gentle beating easily relaxing him further as he began to doze off, too content to keep his eyes open. As much as he was enjoying the attention, thriving on your love and adoration, he was tired, comfortable, and at ease, “Get some sleep, you’ve earned it.” you said, arms holding him tightly, hand still running through his hair as he nodded sleepily, quickly falling asleep. He was the RA’s hardest worker, one of its strongest fighters, and one of its best soldiers, and he was your sweet little golden retriever, an adorable puppy of a man, and as soft and cuddly as the fluffy canine he resembled.

[beautifulchris]

trainwreck

pairing: choi lia x gn!reader

summary: sometimes, relationships are meant to end

genres: angst, lovers to exes!au, good ending?

wc: 1,1k

tw: lia is a bad girlfriend, swearing

notes: hello everyone! this fic is part of my collection of fics! indented are the lyrics (ignore the mentions of a dress and 'boy'), banner made by me on canva. also!! idk if you'll notice, but this one is also based on two other songs from anne-marie c: happy reading!

listen to the song for a more immersive experience: spotify link | youtube link

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @kwritersworld @whipped-kpop-creators

permanent tag list: @soobin-chois @exfolitae @linos-catnip @prettymiye0n (tell me if you want to be added/removed)

“I can’t do this anymore.”

You meant to say this for a while now, and today was the day you finally gathered the courage to verbalize the thought.

“What do you mean?”

The words that flew past her lips were nonchalant, like she was completely relaxed. Sitting up, she had her arms and legs crossed and a seemingly emotionless face. At least, that was the face you knew she made when unimpressed.

“I mean… that I want to break up with you.”

In contrast, you were so nervous you could feel your heart hammer in your chest, and sweat was running down the sides of your face. Her reaction didn’t ease you either.

“Okay.”

Was it all you meant to her? After everything, it looked like it didn’t faze her at all. Saying you weren’t hurt would be a lie.

“Is that all you have to say?”

“What? Did you think I’d get on my knees begging you to stay? If you want to leave, go, the door’s wide open” she stated as she gestured towards the front door of her apartment. “I’ll wait for you to come back. Cause I know you will eventually. You know what? I give you two weeks at most.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Did those hostile yet detached words really left her lips effortlessly?

You grabbed your bag and left her place without delay, whispering to yourself: “I won’t.”

Choi Lia has been an important person in your life, yes.

You loved her intensely and sincerely for many months, but soon, mostly thanks to your friends, you started to acknowledge the little details. Minimal at first, but, over time, they grew bigger until you couldn’t ignore them anymore.

She’d look into your phone whenever you’d leave the room without it, subtly mock you in front of her friends, cancel numerous dates to go to parties instead, order take-away when she was aware you cooked for her…

You always put up with it because you loved her, but letting her go, albeit painful, was the best thing you could’ve done for your own health.

Called up my friends, took their advice Put on a dress, I'm out tonight I can't believe I said goodbye Oh yeah, this time you know, I finally let you go, yeah

It had been three days since you put an end to the relationship. Of course your friends would take you out on a Friday night.

The party was chill. There were around twenty people, refreshing cocktails, good background music and board games.

Lia didn’t come to mind once, much to the delight of your dear friends. 

You actually made some new acquaintances, which was nice.

Spending more time with your friends, they saw the difference in your behavior.

“You look happier, Y/N,” one of them informed you.

“You smile and laugh more, you seem more alive,” another one added.

You felt it, too. You felt free from her. Her claws. Her grip on you.

I don't know why you thought that I'd be sheddin' a tear When I'm chillin' at the party, and I'm glad you're not here And I don't know what to say, but the pain disappeared And I'm sorry Bet you think I'm a trainwreck, upset Friday night, layin' lonely in my bed Truth is, boy, I'm so fuckin' happy Without you

Life went on.

A month later, Lia was on her couch, a drink in hand. It was dark in her apartment.

“Why haven't they come back already?”

She was fidgeting, her lips pressed together and her brows furrowed.

“They should’ve been back by now.”

Her phone rang in the deafening silence, making her flinch. Her eyes widened and she laughed. “Of course, Y/N would call instead of coming unannounced.”

She answered the phone with a confident smirk, ready to hear your begging.

“I put all your stuff in a bag. Do you have a moment this week so we could trade?”

Lia’s smile disappeared as quickly as it arrived.

“Also, don’t forget to give me back the keys to my place. I feel uneasy knowing you still have them. Not like you came often, anyway.”

It was her turn to be too stunned to speak. How could you be so apathetic? It wasn’t like you to use this tone when talking to her. She stared at the wall with an open mouth.

“I’ll wait for your message, then. Hanging up.”

Before Lia could protest, the call was over. She sat there, not moving for a while, thoughts twirling in her mind.

So pour yourself another drink Sit on your couch and overthink In all your lies and arrogance, I've been alright, you know So glad you let me go, yeah

Your ex-girlfriend finally gave you a time and place to meet. Without much surprise, it was at her place. Seeing her again after so long was not as painful as you thought it would be—not as painful as Lia hoped it would be.

She had to face the fact you changed. You weren’t the easily manipulated, sweetly naive and blindly in love person anymore. Much to her dismay.

“Here,” you handed her the bag, expecting another one in return.

Instead, she took a step back and offered for you to come in. “Want something to drink?”

“No?” With furrowed brows, you crossed your arms. “Give me back my stuff, please.”

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

You tilted your head, tapping your chin with your free index finger. “As a matter-of-fact, no, I don’t. I just want my stuff and leave this place forever.”

“Well… I…” Not finding anything concrete to say, she sighed loudly. 

Reluctantly, she grabbed the bag from the ground behind her and put the handle on your outstretched hand, before taking hers out of your other hand.

“You don’t mind me checking, right?”

She slowly shook her head, eyes unfocused, even if you didn’t wait for her approval. The key was there, that was all you cared about. Wait, no, there was a cute outfit you forgot about, too.

You thanked her and left. She called out for you, but you didn’t turn around. “Erase my number!”

It wasn’t said with a negative tone, but Lia took it like a stab in the back. Which was really audacious coming from her.

She just couldn’t believe you left her without a second thought and didn’t come back like she was convinced you would.

And now we're at the final stop And I'm the one that's gettin' off I know you hope I'm cryin', but I'm doin' just fine

She was now part of your past. Unerasable, of course, but peaceful.

thanks for reading! feedback is always appreciated :) masterlist

[archaiclumina]

✩♬₊˚.🎧Five songs I'm into right now!⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧▶︎

Tagged in one of my fav type of tag games by the marvelous @iron-sparrow and @dragonsongmakhali! Ty both so much for thinking of me!! I live to share tunes! (And partake in all the good stuff everyone else shares when these come around!)

(Also, I nicked your idea, Iron, and added the lyrics I liked too c': thanks fren! hahah )

I've included YouTube and Spotify links for folks who use both platforms. I am into a few songs atm! Not all Blorbette related. If they appear on the playlist I curate with my husband for our ragtag bunch of OCs I have marked them with a ✩ c:

Take Me To The River - Lorde's cover of Talking Heads Spotify | YouTube

Sixteen candles, there on my wall. And here I am, the biggest fool of them all.

Talking Heads are one of my all time favourite bands. Last year I read David Byrne's book about music and it was amazing! Anyway, I absolutely love when new artists I love cover old bands I love. Turns out Lorde (and others) just released a whole tribute album to one of the best albums of all time, Stop Making Sense. Lorde has been a big mainstay for me since 2012! Most of Lorde's covers bop too and this is absolutely no exception.

New Love - Ziggy Alberts✩ Spotify | YouTube

But if I stay like this what could become of everything dear that I've done? Like damming rivers that lead to seas, I've got to trust that some new love will find it's way back to me.

This song was just released last week! I was so happy! I love Ziggy, he's one of my fav young Aussie artists! It was a joy to be able to put him on the playlist for the Blorbettes. Like many of the songs husbo and I throw on there, it's not lyrically perfect for a setting like XIV. But it's got the right vibes.

War Pigs - T-Pain✩ Spotify | YouTube

Yeah time will tell on their power minds, making war just for fun (yeah) Treating people just like pawns in chess. Wait 'til their judgement day comes. This particular one is a Cal/Leon number and not related to the Blorbettes . But. When my husband played me this last year after adding it to our playlist, it absolutely blew me away and I have not stopped listening to it almost daily since. Even Ozzy agrees about it being the best cover of War Pigs ever, so I feel justified.

Eurus - The Oh Hellos Spotify | YouTube

But still the bait hanging from the string is calling my name. And like the wind it slips again, out of my fingers.

This is probably an all time fav song. It's on one of my non XIV writing playlists and so it has been on heavy rotation in my head and my heart for a long, long time now. And probably will be forever c': What I love most about it is the length and the way it builds and stops suddenly. It's a short song, that is very full, right until the moment it's over. A lot like the message in its lyrics!

Rings - Aesop Rock Spotify | YouTube

Shapes falling out of the fringe. All heart though we would have made cowardly kings. They will chop you down just to count your rings.

I am a big Aesop Rock fan. My husband got me into him many years ago and although he has many more recent tracks than this; including some wicked 8-bit tunes, this is probably my favorite song of his. It's also very vibes for me atm because work related shenanigans which I shan't give my precious blog space to any more than that c':

I thought about tagging some moots, but actually guys, I love music so much I'm leaving this as an open tag to all of you! I'd love to know what all the folks in our tumblr neighbourhood are listening to! Recommend me tunes! <33

[frodo-cinnamonroll]

Hi, I am also a Frodo lover and would like to know if you could write an imagine about dating Frodo and thank you for taking the time to read this.

Here Always

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: nothin' but fluff here

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I've had a bit of a busy week. I hope you enjoy it. Hopefully the content will make up for my tardiness.

__________________________________

“Y/N. Y/N.”

You started awake. You hadn’t realized you had fallen asleep. Gandalf stood above you, a hand on your shoulder.

“Gandalf!” you cried, standing. “Oh dear I fell asleep! Is Frodo alright? Has anything happened?”

Gandalf smiled down at you. “Frodo is alright. Elrond has cured him of the wound from the Nazgûl blade. He will be out of his room in a minute.”

You jumped up and gave Gandalf a hug. “Thank you for looking after him. I don’t know what we would do without you.”

Gandalf smiled down at you. “Of course, of course. I must talk with Elrond now, so I will see you later.”

“Alright then. Good day.”

Gandalf nodded and walked off. You paced the floor, looking over the balcony nearby at Rivendell, breathing in the free air. When Frodo had been stabbed by the Nazgûl, Arwen, an elf you had bonded with almost immediately, had taken him to Rivendell in much haste. You had been left behind, since Arwen’s horse couldn’t carry multiple hobbits and an elf. You had been very distraught since then, not attempting to hold back your fear. Strider had led you, Sam, Merry, and Pippin as quickly as you could manage to Rivendell. Ever since you had arrived, you and Sam had hardly slept. You had stayed right by Frodo’s side as long as Elrond would let you. Finally, though, he had asked you to stand out of the way so you had taken a seat on a soft recamier that sat right outside Frodo’s room and, apparently, you had fallen asleep. 

But you were awake now, and all was well now that Frodo was healed. For the first time since your arrival, you were able to take in the beauty of the Hidden Valley. You felt wholly at peace. You rested your chin and arms on the balcony’s edge, closing your eyes and listening to the song of a waterfall not far away.

“Y/N,” a soft voice behind you called.

You whirled around. Frodo stood there, alive and well. A smile was on his face and in his eyes.

“Frodo!” You leapt into his open arms, hugging him as tight as you could without hurting him. “Frodo! I was so frightened when you left! I thought . . . I thought . . .” You could not finish the sentence for you were so overwhelmed with joy that it spilled out of your heart and eyes.

“I am here,” Frodo said, stroking your head. “I shan’t leave you. I will not.”

For a few sweet moments, the two of you held each other in the golden sunlight of the day, not saying anything because nothing needed to be said. Then Sam, Merry, and Pippin ran up and there was much joy in the reunion. Everyone was talking at once, full of merriment and delight. You couldn’t describe how glad you were to see a smile on Frodo’s face again and life in his lovely eyes. His laugh was priceless and endlessly pleasant to listen to. It healed any remnants of fear and doubt that lingered in your heart, filling it (if it was possible) with even more joy. It was then that Frodo spotted Bilbo sitting not far away on a stone bench.

“Bilbo!” Frodo cried, running up to give him a hug.

“Frodo, my lad!” Bilbo said, returning the gesture. “And you too, Y/N. Come on!” He beckoned you to join the hug. You didn’t object.

You had been quite close to Bilbo ever since you and Frodo had started courting. You had loved the old hobbit dearly and you had helped him a lot with his book. You were fascinated by his tales of his adventures and, like Frodo, had secretly wished to go on an adventure of your own some day. That day had come sooner than you had thought, but you weren’t going to complain. Everything was alright and you were happy.

“Come,” Bilbo said at last, “I have things to show you both.” And he led the two of you off.

⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘

You and Frodo spent most of the day with Bilbo. He had made much progress in his book and you were quite delighted to see the beautiful thing. Bilbo also showed you around Rivendell a bit. You saw stunning waterfalls, exquisite marble buildings, and ancient trees. The elves were all very nice but also mysterious, not in a bad way necessarily. You could see some deep meaning in their eyes that seemed beyond your reach of thought, something sad and wise. You didn’t bother much about it though, for you thought it would possibly be thought rude to ask about it if ever you could put it into words.

Towards sunset as the day bid farewell, painting the sky stunning colors, Bilbo left you and Frodo to talk to Gandalf a bit, wherever he might have been. Frodo then offered you his arm and you walked slowly down the paths Bilbo had shown you earlier.

“It has been quite a day,” Frodo said, laying his head on yours which rested on his shoulder.

“Indeed it has,” you said, closing your eyes. “I’m just glad I got to spend it with you.”

“As am I.” Frodo smiled at you, something that filled you with warmth no matter what, and kissed your head so gently you barely felt it.

You reached out your hand and caressed his cheek with the utmost care and then brushed back a rouge hair from his face.

“I love you,” you whispered.

“And I love you, Y/N. More than I can say.” Frodo tenderly pressed his forehead against yours.

“Mr. Frodo!”

You and Frodo suddenly let go and you turned to face Sam who had appeared now in front of you. Frodo’s face flushed and you avoided Sam’s gaze and scuffed a leaf that lay on the ground, smiling.

“Oh . . .” Sam said, scratching his head. “Sorry Mr. Frodo. Begging your pardon, and you too Miss Y/N. I didn’t mean to interrupt—”

“What is it, Sam?” Frodo asked.

“Well, I was just going to say that Pippin told me that Bilbo told him that tonight the elves are hosting a feast in your honor. There’s going to be singing and dancing and lots of food. It’ll be a jolly good time! I best get ready now.” With that Sam went off and disappeared.

“Singing and dancing,” you said, looking at Frodo. “Sounds to me like a good time. I wonder how elvish parties compare to our hobbit ones?”

“I guess we will find out,” Frodo said. You took his arm again and then you headed off. The sun lowered below the mountains just then, and many torches were lit simultaneously. You could see shapes of elves and other figures making their way towards the Hall of Fire, where the banquet was to be held.

⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘

It was a good time indeed. There were foods of the like which you had never seen before that had wonderful tastes. Everything was delicious. Elrond, Strider, Arwen, Gandalf, and all the hobbits were present along with many elves and even some people from other lands. You had heard whispers of some council being held the next day but Gandalf wouldn’t tell you anything. You didn’t fret too much and decided to enjoy the night. 

After the feast finished, everyone migrated to the central part of the Hall where many fires were lit. The walls glowed subtle orange like that of clay or rust with flickers of flashing yellow. Immediately, some of the elves started singing in their tongue a song of days long past. You and Frodo sat on a small couch-like seat along the wall and watched them. As they sang, though you knew not what they said, you could see in your mind oceans and mountains, plains and forests, elves dancing, beasts roaming, and silver stars lighting an endless night. For some reason you did not understand, it brought tears to your eyes and try as you might, you couldn’t hold them back. Frodo put his arm around you and you leaned into him, smiling. The elves sang many songs, some sad and sweet, some lively and filled with laughter.

A good while passed and you and Frodo were watching everything intently and full of wonder. Finally, Strider stood with Arwen and the elves formed a ring around them with their partners. The ones playing the instruments began a calm and happy song that started out slow at first. As Arwen and Strider gilded flawlessly over the floor, they beckoned you to join the company.

“Come,” Strider said as they passed by. “Come, both of you, and join the dance.”

“I do not prefer to dance in front of so many,” you said.

“It is a blessed dance,” Arwen replied. “You will be glad for it.”

“Would it be alright if we just sat here?” Frodo asked meekly.

“Come! Join us!” Strider beckoned again.

You looked at Frodo whose face was as indecisive as you felt. He met your gaze and Strider bade you both to join them again. Some of the other elves insisted too.

“Let us see how the halflings meet the music,” they said.

Finally, you gave way. Frodo stood and held out his hand and you took it. The ring of elves parted to allow the two of you into the middle. Frodo guided you to the middle where Strider and Arwen were swaying in perfect rhythm. They seemed to be anticipating a change in the song. Frodo held your hands in his own and glanced around unsure of what to do next.

“I am not entirely sure what we are doing, exactly,” Frodo whispered to you.

“Neither am I,” you whispered back.

“Follow where the music leads,” Arwen called. “Move your feet and the song will take care of the rest.”

You started out like Strider and Arwen, moving slowly and staying in step, but just as you had presumed, the music began to quicken. Arwen and Strider moved quicker but not less smoothly. You and Frodo followed, quickening your steps. The elves were happy that you had joined and were comfortable enough to do such a daring thing. They cared less whether or not your movement was pleasurable. Suddenly, the music took a leap and those around you started clapping in rhythm. The instruments sang louder and faster now.

“Let us show them how hobbits meet music,” Frodo said with a smile. He didn’t seem as nervous now. You weren’t either, only a little.

You grinned. “Shall we?”

All in one moment, you and Frodo picked up your pace, dancing in brilliant hobbit fashion. You both were rather used to moving with fast-paced music, as was tradition at most parties. The two of you skipped around and laughed as you did. Frodo twirled you and led you steadily through. All that were watching were delighted, but especially Sam, Merry, and Pippin who almost joined in themselves. More took part in the clapping and Arwen and Strider stepped out of the circle to give the two of you space. The song was ever heightening and quickening. Soon, you thought your feet barely touched the floor, but Frodo made sure neither of you fell. Finally, the song came to its end with a sudden leap and everyone clapped. Frodo laughed and you couldn’t stop smiling from the exuberance of it all.

“Halflings can meet the music indeed!” Aragorn said, patting Frodo on the shoulder.

“I hope we did not disappoint,” Frodo said.

“No, you went beyond expectation, Mr. Underhill. A fine couple the two of you make.”

You looked away bashfully and Frodo smiled, looking down. Frodo then gave you his arm and led you off the dancing floor.

“That was something,” you said at last, sitting down.

“Indeed. It wasn’t too much to ask, I hope?” Frodo said.

“Oh, no. In front of so many people is slightly uncomfortable, but someone once said that there are better things than being comfortable. I guess it is good to do something you normally wouldn’t every now and then, don’t you think?”

“Yes.” Frodo looked at the arched doorway of the Hall of Fire. Night was full and the moon was high. “I would like to walk out there tonight. Would you like to come?”

“Of course,” you said, standing. “I don’t want to leave your side again.”

Frodo put his arm around you and the two of you disappeared unnoticed, at least, you thought you were unnoticed, but the others let you be, smiling at your tender affection. You and Frodo walked much like you had earlier that day, with your head on his shoulder, taking in the beauty of it all. And the night was beautiful indeed. Other than the elves singing, there were the waterfalls and crickets. Everything was brushed gently in the moon and starlight. Everything felt peaceful, as if nothing was wrong in the world. Of course, you knew that wasn’t true, but in Rivendell it was, and you were wholly content to be with Frodo. You wanted nothing else, and that much you made rather plain. You noticed now that Frodo was looking at you.

“Is . . . is something on your mind Y/N?” he asked quietly.

“Nothing much, really,” you said. “I love this place, Rivendell. Bilbo was right, it is magnificent. It is wonderful but more than that, I am glad you are here and are well. I’ve never known such fear and loneliness as when you left, but I also have never known such joy and gratitude as when you came back. You mean more to me than I could properly describe and I hope you know that.”

“I do,” Frodo said. “I do know it and I love you for it. I love you the same, though I am no poet. I wouldn’t ask for another, Y/N. I never would. Whether we go home after this, or something other, I want you to know that I am extremely thankful that you are here. I want you here always. I want to be here always.”

“And I will be here always,” you said, smiling. “I mean that as a promise, Mr. Underhill.”

“Then I double the promise,” Frodo said, holding you in his arms. “I shall be here always.”

[lovertaylorforever]

A "Love Letter" To Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor Swift,

I'm just going to get right to it. You've changed my life. (And the lives of countless others.)

But I still remember getting a karaoke machine for my 6th birthday, back in 2008. Along with the karaoke machine, I got some karaoke CD's. One of those was for your debut album.

And I don't remember all of the details. But once I listened to your songs for the first time, I never stopped.

I felt like I wasn't alone for the very first time.

I was going through a lot. And my family was pretty great, but none of my family was my age. And that was very lonely.

But your music became my safe haven. I learned the lyrics to every word on that cd and sang them every chance I got.

And as you kept releasing music, I stayed up to date as much as I could without a phone or anything.

And I learned so much just singing in that room. I learned that I could do anything, because I saw your dreams all coming true through hard work.

And since I was so young and naive, I wanted to do exactly what you did. When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd say "the next Taylor Swift."

And I grew up and realized that 1, there's only one Taylor Swift, 2, I want to be the first me, and 3, I'd never survive the life of a celebrity. Oh, and also that I don't actually sing very well. 😅

But I watched you do so many amazing things.

And then came Reputation Era.

I had a phone when your accounts all blacked out. So I was able to really be there for the entire thing.

I remember when I heard, "why? Oh, because she's dead" for the first time and freaking out online. Seeing you in concert. Getting merch.

And so much more, but I don't wanna go on forever.

And now, over 15 years since I first got that karaoke CD. And things have changed so much. For both of us. In different ways, but still both of us.

And I don't know where I would be now if I lived in some alternate universe where you didn't exist. But I know it would be a lot worse.

You gave me an outlet when everything became too much. You became my inspiration. You became my hope.

And I can never thank you enough.

For being unafraid to go accomplish your dreams, showing me and so many other little kids that we could do the same. For giving us music that we can connect to so well that it has saved lives by making people feel less alone.

Thank you for being you.

Here's to (hopefully) 15+ more years.

With all my heart,

A Swiftie.

(If you see this, please reblog it on the off chance Taylor comes on & looks at some posts or something)

[chronically-enthusiastic]

Hello there, thanks for stumbling across my blog!

(Here's a lil comic I made for a school assignment)

I'm going to start putting my social energy levels in my bio... There's a lot of stuff I want to respond to but i currently dont have the energy to do so, and so if I don't respond within like a day, check my bio and see that... I always feel bad about being on tumblr when theres things people have sent me but responding to those things is a different level of interaction than reblogging a post... so yeah... Sorry to the people i havent responded to yet! I will soon <333 (writing this on low energy, sorry for the incoherence)

Who am I / Where else can you find me?

First of all, feel free to call me Eli!! I'm on the waiting list for an autism diagnosis. I am agender and aroace-spec.

I am verrryyy enthusiastic about the things I am interested in (hence the URL hehehe). And currently, those are: podcasts (theres a list at the bottom of the post), good omens, ofmd, bbc merlin, star trek!!!!, lotr, and probably more things that I am too tired to think of right now!

I am a very big fan of the oxford comma and double brackets. Semicolons are pretty cool too. And ellipses are incredible.

i love all of my mutuals dearly!! Making cookies and hot chocolate for you all <33

I try to use tone tags as much as possible!

Boundaries:

Things I am okay with sharing/doing:

My age, gender/sexuality, things about my guinea pigs!!, and most other things

Things I am not okay with sharing/doing:

The city I live in, pictures of me/anyone I know, my full name, my birthdate, my phone number/email address, meeting up with people irl, sending/receiving money/gifts, dms (<- though if we're mutuals and interacted a lot dms are fine!!)

^ this applies to everyone im not in the discord with

I will let someone know if they cross boundaries, and *really* would like other people to let me know if I cross theirs!!

DNI: people who are here to spread hate and anger. Just, stay away. I dont engage in discourse. I know DNIs dont deterr these people, but this is a demonstration of my core values :)

Updated to clarify - I do block the generic tags such as Israel and Gaza, which most of the posts are tagged with by the op, so if you forget its no big deal!!

Tags:

(At the top cause otherwise it will get lost) ALSO #tw body horror

I block quite a few tags but most notably #tw war and other ones to do with the war in israel/palestine. This is not because I don't care. I care so so so much about what is happening and I cry every time I see a post about it. It breaks my heart that such horrible things are happening. However, I really struggle with high empathy, and seeing a post about it can really affect me for a while, and I need tumblr to be a safe space away from the real world problems. If I follow you - please could you tag things to do with war. Thank you <3

A list of all the podcasts I listen to because y'know, its fun:

Fiction:

The Amelia Project

Wooden Overcoats

The Adventure Zone

Sherlock & Co

Alba Salix

Unseen

And a whole lot more that i no longer listen to either because they havent updated or they are a little too creepy (Welcome to Night Vale falls into the latter category)

Science:

The Sci Guys

Lets Learn Everything

Lingthusiasm

A podcast of unnecessary detail.

Comedy/other:

Dear Hank and John

The Unmade Podcast

Books Unbound

Lateral

A book list of recommendations from mutuals for my own use:

abigail by Magda Szasbo (@mack-anthology-mp3)

The Alphabet of Candice Phee (@jamie-dinow)

A list of music reccomendations from mutuals:

in the lap of the gods revisited by queen, why can't i be you by the cure, pyramid song, and lucky & the tourist by radiohead, when the sun hits by slowdive, dancing barefoot by patti smith, tangerine by led zeppelin, autumn sweater by yo la tengo, rubber ring by the smiths, water by pj harvey (from @/mack-anthology-mp3)

imi hendrix’s all along the watchtower (from @/catholickedd)

[elisiassideb1tch]

⟡ Elisia Brown/Enid Rhee Playlist ⟡

So, this is a mixture of different genres of music that remind me of my fav girlies Elisia and Enid !! And songs that I feel suit them well, or that they'd listen n' vibe to! They both have quite a bit in common imo. (not to mention they're both isfp's with trauma and trust issues-)

Also I'd like to add a TW. Quite a few of these songs are depressing (very much s1 Elisia) and contain topics such as substance abuse, self-harm, eating disorders, etc. My dms are always open if anyone wants to vent/rant/or just talk :). I love y'all, and I'm proud of you!

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy !! 🫶🏻💖

(Also, here is My Masterlist, which is still being edited and updated. It's a wip!!) °♡✧⋆

~｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ~

₊˚.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. 0₊˚.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Bea Miller - Feel Something

Cavetown - Sharpener

Beabadoobee - Tired

Slayyyter - Clouds

mxmtoon - fever dream

Billie Eilish - What Was I Made For?

Billie Eilish - TV

Billie Eilish - Bellyache

Nessa Barrett - Die First

Doja Cat - 4 Morant

Mars Argo - Runaway Runaway

Alex G (ft. Emily Yacina) - Treehouse

The Cardigans - Step On Me

Conan Gray - Comfort Crowd

Conan Gray - Little League

AURORA - Runaway

The Smashing Pumpkins - Today

Peirce The Veil - A Match Into Water

Pierce The Veil - Bulletproof Love

Foo Fighters - Everlong

Against The Current - Weapon

Linkin Park - What I've Done

Alex G - Pretend

Awfultune - redesign

Mother Mother - Arms Tonight

Mother Mother - Burning Pile

Mother Mother - Alone And Sublime

Mother Mother - Oh Ana

Frances Forever - Paranoia Party

Olivia Rodrigo - Jealousy, Jealousy

Olivia Rodrigo - Making The Bed

Olivia Rodrigo - Pretty Isn't Pretty

Olivia Rodrigo - Ballad Of A Homeschooled Girl

Olivia Rodrigo - Love Is Embarrassing

Cults - Gilded Lily

Cults - Always Forever

ROAR - I Can't Handle Change

ROAR - Christmas Kids

t.A.T.u. - All The Things She Said

Pixies - Where Is My Mind

Pixies - All I Think About Now

GIRLI - I Don’t Like Myself

GIRLI - Dysmorphia

Halsey - Gasoline

Halsey - Control

Ethel Cain - Ptolemaea

Jon Bellion - All Time Low

Princess Chelsea - The Cigarette Duet

Steve Lacy - Dark Red

girl in red - Serotonin

M.I.A - Bad Girls

Rebzyyx - Painforever

Maejor (ft. Keri Hilson) - Gamez

Twenty One Pilots - Chlorine

Twenty One Pilots - Screen

Twenty One Pilots - Car Radio

Mitski - A Pearl

Mitski - Francis Forever

Mitski - Why Didn't You Stop Me?

Mitski - Burning Hill

Mitski - Drink Walk Home

Mitski - Washing Machine Heart

Mitski - Nobody

Madison Beer - Spinnin'

Madison Beer - Dear Society

Madison Beer - Stay Numb And Carry On

Madison Beer - Effortlessly

Maggie Lindemann - Self Sabotage

Maggie Lindemann - Take Me Nowhere

Maggie Lindemann - Novocaine

Maggie Lindemann - Girl Next Door

Maggie Lindemann - Would I

Maggie Lindemann - Loner

Maggie Lindemann - Knife Under My Pillow

Maggie Lindemann - Different

Melanie Martinez - Mrs. Potato Head

Melanie Martinez - Soap

Melanie Martinez - Orange Juice

The Neighbourhood - The Beach

The Neighbourhood - Middle of Somewhere

The Neighbourhood - R.I.P. 2 My Youth

The Neighbourhood - Softcore

Paramore - Tell Me It's Okay

Paramore - All I Wanted Was You

Paramore - Thick Skull

Paramore - Decode

Paramore - Ignorance

Paramore - crushcrushcrush

Slipknot - Custer

Slipknot - Duality

Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit

Nirvana - Stay Away

Nirvana - Drain You

Nirvana - Lithium

Nirvana - Heart-Shaped Box

Nirvana - Dumb

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You

Three Days Grace - Painkiller

Three Days Grace - So Called Life

My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay

Taylor Swift - You're On Your Own, Kid

Taylor Swift - This Is Me Trying

Taylor Swift - Seven

Taylor Swift - August

Taylor Swift - Cardigan

Taylor Swift - Lover

Taylor Swift - Paper Rings

Taylor Swift - New Romantics

Taylor Swift - How You Get The Girl

Taylor Swift - 22

Taylor Swift - Red

Taylor Swift - The Lucky One

Taylor Swift - Love Story

Taylor Swift - Timeless

Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do

Lana Del Rey - Dark Paradise

Lana Del Rey - Summertime Sadness

Lana Del Rey - Cruel World

Lana Del Rey - Is This Happiness

Lana Del Rey - Flipside

Lana Del Rey - Happiness Is A Butterfly

Lana Del Rey - Get Free

Lana Del Rey - Heroin

Lana Del Rey - High By The Beach

Green Day - Brain Stew

Green Day - Give Me Novacaine / She’s a Rebel

Green Day - Still Breathing

Green Day - She

Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

Green Day - Lazy Bones

Deftones - Bored

Deftones - Hole In The Earth

Deftones - Minerva

Deftones - Beware

Deftones - Change (In The House Of Flies)

(Literally any Deftones songs. Especially off the albums Saturday Night Wrist, Around The Fur, and Adrenaline imo !! I feel Elisia would especially love and listen to Deftones, Slipknot, Pierce The Veil, and My Chemical Romance too!)

Now, here's some of my fav wlw songs that remind me of Elisia and Enid ! -`♡´-

girl in red - we fell in love in october

girl in red - October Passed Me By

girl in red - girls

girl in red - i wanna be your girlfriend

Beabadoobee and girl in red - eleanor & park

FLETCHER - girls girls girls

FLETCHER - Becky's So Hot

FLETCHER - Her Body Is Bible

FLETCHER - Suckerpunch

GIRLI - More Than a Friend

Maggie Lindemann - Love Songs

Maggie Lindemann - She Knows It

Clairo - Sofia

Dove Cameron - Boyfriend

Frances Forever - Space Girl

Clara - Girl Like You

Sarah Barrios - Thank God You Introduced Me To Your Sister

Pomplamoose - Oh, Pretty Woman

Studio Killers - Jenny

Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl

@enid-rhees <3 @ofcutsandoffire <3, thx for helping me out w/ this! Love y'all 🫶🏻

If anyone actually listens to these songs, beware, it's very much an emotional rollercoaster- it's a wild mix of depressing songs and upbeat songs, and everything in between lol. Also, most of these are Elisia coded, so yea :⁠')

I still feel like there's more songs I could add to this list, but can't think of them atm. So whenever I find a new song, I'll update the playlist!

Divider credits: @cafekitsune