#everytime i look back at the old me im just like...where did she go :

[sugucidal]

i cant tell if im losing my self identity or if im just depressed

[gasstationlady]

GUTS | a lando norris social media au | pt. 1

pairing: lando norris x singer!reader, ex!drew starkey x reader

y/n l/n’s latest album is speculated to be about her ex. however, she already moved on.

note: fc is olivia rodrigo! i hope the quality of the photos are okay, everytime i saved my drafts on my phone they became blurry :(

disclaimer: no hate to drew!! i just needed a famous ex. also so sorry for any grammar mistakes or typos!!

masterlist ⋆ next

yourusername

liked by oliviarodrigo, yourbestie and 4,779,774 others

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️❤️

View all 33,719 comments

yourbestie soooooo proud of you 🥹 this album is amazing

user teenage dream made me BAWL i love you 😭😭

user MISS Y/N, YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN

oliviarodrigo obsessed.

user omg are the songs about drew

enews

41,202 likes

enews In Y/n’s new album, “Guts,” Y/n shares information on her old relationship with Drew Starkey. The pair started dating last year until ultimately breaking up in the beginning of 2023.

View all 2,978 comments

user omggg this is the drama i’ve been waiting for

user you guys really chose to focus on this when not even half the songs are about drew

user this album saved 2023

yourusername

liked by yourbestie, bellahadid and 6,313,074 others

tagged yourbestie and conangray

yourusername some GUTS bts, still can’t believe it’s out but i’m so happy it’s yours!!!! been sitting on these songs for a few months and although some of them are a little outdated, they still mean a lot to me!!

View all 36,295 comments

conangray spilling my guts absolutely everywhere

yourbestie LETS GO GUTS

user album has in fact been on repeat since the release🫡

user “a little outdated” girl please elaborate you can’t leave us hanging like that 😭😭

f1updates

28,459 likes

f1updates Lando Norris with fans in New York! Most likely staying there until the #SingaporeGP

View all 763 comments

user 🤤

user what is he doing in new york?

↳ user no literally bc it’s kinda sus there’s no reason for him to be there 😭😭

user ugh he looks so good

deuxmoi

57,380 likes

deuxmoi 🚨 NEW COUPLE ALERT 🚨

View all 1,128 comments

user obviously it’s y/n l/n but which driver???

user you guys are srsly bored

user kinda iconic of her to go from drew to an f1 driver

↳ user fr i just know drew has to be feeling some type of way rn

user Y/N DATING AN F1 DRIVER WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD

yourusername

liked by yourbestie, zendaya and 2,116,844 others

yourusername soooo excited to be performing at the @/VMAs!!! make sure to tune in on Tuesday at 8pm on #MTV

View all 2,351 comments

yourbestie talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, showstopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely never been done before

zendaya AHH can't wait!!

user wait am i crazy or am i connecting the dots right now

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, charlesleclerc and 1,950,468 others

landonorris Quick NY stop

View all 5,233 comments

danielricciardo Where was my invite?

↳ landonorris ...

user IS THIS A SOFT LAUNCH OMFG

↳ user the fact that he was the one to soft launch first IM CRYING she's living my dream 😭

user is that y/n 😭😭

user GUYS ITS HAPPENING

drewstarkey

834,801 likes

drewstarkey bad idea right?

View all 6,689 comments

user this is so messy omg 😭😭

user NO HE DID NOT

↳ user wait i'm so confused why are people freaking out?

↳ user "bad idea right?" is one of the songs y/n wrote about him and the song literally talks about her wanting to go back to him

user posting this right after guts and lando's soft launch is CRAZY

[sushis-wild-imagination]

Seventeen as dads part 2

Seventeen as Dads Part 1 Seventeen Masterlist

→Choi SeungCheol

“Appa, are you hurt?” Siah gets on Seungcheols back as your husband laid on the couch. He just groans in response.

He had gotten drunk the night before and had a horrible hangover happening.

“Don’t worry, I’ll treat you” Siah, the older child says and rushed to her room to bring out her doctors kit.

Cheol manages to open his eyes, but his head still throbbing.

Siah walks into the living room with a toy stethoscope around her little neck and a toy injection in the other hand.

Cheol sees his baby bringing all her doctor toys to him and chuckles. “Are you here to take care of me doctor?”

“I will fix you” she says. “Where does it hurt?”

A smiling cheol points to his forehead. “Here doctor”

She takes the toy injection in the other hand and directly puts it on his forehead. This makes seungcheol laugh. “Thank you doctor, you’re so nice”

→Yoon Jeonghan

“Catch it, catch it” Jeonghan pulls at the rod, with the fish flapping as soon as its out of water.

The fish accidentally slap your 4 year old son in the face. “It's slippery” he says trying his best to catch the fish. Everytime the fish is in his hands, the next second it slips out. You watch on the whole spectacle laughing.

After the boys are done catching 2 fish, your boys rushed to show you.

“Now we eat them” jeonghan says

Horror spread across the 4 year old boys face. He immediately starts whining as jeonghan laughs.

“We can’t eat them, theyre our friends!” The little one yells at his dad.

“Tell him!” He also yells at you to defend him as he cries.

“What do we eat then now? Aren’t you hungry?” Jeonghan asks him touching his sons belly.

“No!” The baby says with every conviction in him.

“What do we do with these fish?”

“Take them back home and raise them”

“They’re already dead”

This earns your husband a playful smack to his arm. “Don’t say that” as both of you try to stifle giggles.

→Hong Joshua

“Happy Birthday Dojoonie” your husband, Joshua, wishes his elder son who turned 6 today.

Little did he know, he had a Surprise waiting for him outside in the yard.

"We have a surprise waiting for you outside" you tell him and his little legs rush to take him to the front yard.

"No way" He screams in excitement.

It was a toy car that he could drive.

"Hey, Hey, mister, safe driving only" you say as he gets on the car.

He drives exactly like Joshua. You giggle at that. "He has the same driving face as you" you say to Joshua looking at your son driving away.

"I don't have a driving face" he defends.

"You do!" and you mimic the face he makes while he concentrates on driving.

"He's learning everything from me" Joshua exclaims.

"Im glad, you're a wonderful man Joshua"

"Thank you for saying that, darling" he says wrapping his hand around your torso while you look at your son not braking in time and crashing.

"And thats a crash" you say and both of you rush to him to do damage control.

→Wen JunHui

"It won't hurt, I promise"

Your son is wailing and hiccuping through his sobs, he is terrified of his tooth falling. It's his first milk tooth and that tooth has been dangling for 2 weeks now.

He has a birthday party to attend and he wants to eat everything and anything but the tooth won't let him. So Jun came up with a solid idea of pulling it out himself. As much as I am against it, you kid really wants it taken out but is also scared of it.

"See, we're going to tie this tooth to this floss and the other end to the door handle okay? then you can push the door shut when you're ready, the tooth will fall out" your husband calmly explains.

The boy looks terrified.

"It won't hurt, promise" he says.

Your son holds your hand tight as Jun ties the floss to the door.

"3" his grip on your hand tightens.

"2" his jaw clenches.

"1"

your son kicks the door and the tooth comes out in one swift motion. Your son is ecstatic as he rushed to your side to hug you.

"I did it mama"

"You did, my sweet boy, now you can eat all the hard candies you want at Dojoon's birthday!" you say and he smiles at you front tooth missing, You giggle at his missing tooth.

"What about daddy, I did all the heavy lifting" Jun sulks.

→Kwon Hoshi

Your son jiho has been climbing everything he can reach, he's at that age where his feet are faster than his body. This time he was climbing the kitchen counter making steps out of the drawers. Its dangerous.

"soonyoung, he's been climbing everything, we need to change in child safety on the drawers, it's all broken now"

"I'll get them on the way back from work tomorrow"

Soonyoung sits in front of Jiho with a tiger soft toy, Jiho's favourite.

Soonyoung pretends to voice the tiger and starts talking to jiho.

"Jiho, its me, your favourite tiger, your dad can't hear us"

This snaps Jiho's attention to the tiger. He smiles at the tiger and says the cutest hi.

"Your dad told me you've been climbing chairs and drawers, you shouldn't do that, it is dangerous"

"dangers?"

"yes, dangerous, you could fall and give yourself a ouchie then the doctor will give you an injection"

"no injection"

"You shouldn't climb"

"I'll go now" soonyoung says to jiho in the tiger voice.

"Tiger told me not to climb" he tells his dad immediately.

"It speaks?"

"Only I can hear him, he's my best friend that's why"

"Is that so?"

"Yes"

→Jeon Wonwoo

"Daddy its torn, its torn" your 4 year old comes to you and your husband in the living room talking about his day.

"What's torn honey?" you ask looking down at her. Your daughter holds up Ms. Kiki.

Your sweet sweet baby girl, Min ju, had this one teddy bear she carried around everywhere. Ms. Kiki. It was her emotional support soft toy. She'd bring it to trips, to restaurants and even to the doctors, where she needed it the most.

"Ms. Kiki" she was bawling her eyes out. Wonwoo takes her in his lap. You inspect the tear, it was just a tear on the stitch, a few hand stitches should do the trick.

"Can I do it after I come back?" you had to head out to a meeting in some time.

she starts to whine a little again.

"Daddy will do it" wonwoo chimes and she becomes happy again.

"Ill fetch you the sewing kit, just stitch it here," you tell him showing him where.

The father daughter duo sit side by side, as Minju waits for her dad to sew it slowly.

he pricks himself with the needle the first try and hisses.

"Does it hurt daddy?" Min ju asks.

"Not it doesn't its a pinch" he says and continues sewing while you change into your work clothes.

"After 5 minutes he was done. "Tada!" wonwoo holds up the bear to minju, she was ecstatic.

You were ready to go and stopped by wonwoo to see what he did, and he did a pretty good job.

"Good job!" you praise him.

"Daddy is the bear doctor"

"Bear doctor sounds like a great title"

→Lee Jihoon

You had come to visit Woozi's studio with your 3 year old Daughter Jia, Jihoon wanted to show her his new studio with a lot of lights, he thought the baby would enjoy it.

The light projecting stars and colourful galaxies, he called it the universe factory. Quite a cute name. He was the hottest looking man when he was in his studio focusing and working. One of the reasons you fell for him.

"So? How do you like it?" he asks.

"It looks beautiful, it's so pretty" looking up in wonder.

Your baby, Jia also is looking up adoring the roof and pointing to the stars she sees.

"Stars!"

"So pretty" your child mumbles.

Your daughter now was in his lap, pushing all buttons possible and some beats and sound start to come out of the speakers. Almost like she was making music herself.

"She seems like a natural" he says to her and takes her off the keys before she deletes important files.

"A few years, she'll come for your job Mr. producer"

→Lee Dokyeom

"It's mommy birthday so we're going to bake a cake, but you have to promise me princess you're not going to eat the cake before that" Dokyeom sternly but the 2 year old babbling baby only looks up to see her boba eyes staring at him.

"You're too cute to scold" he says and starts making the cake.

Midway through the icing, Dokyeom was too focus on making the icing, he didn't realise the other side of the icing on the cake was getting eaten, little by little.

Your daughter's little fingers had swiped away at the icing one by one making a big icing mine in the cake. The back of the cake was eaten and ruined, but Dokyeom could not get angry at her. She looked too cute with icing all over her face.

"Here's a strawberry" Dokyeom tells her and hands her a strawberry to eat while he tries to save the cake.

"Finally done, you think mom would like it?" Dokyeom holds the cake to his toddler. "mmh" she hums to the strawberry she had in hand.

You had just returned from a long day of work, all you wanted was to cuddle your two main babies and go to sleep.

You come back to a dark living room and a startling noise.

"Surprise! Happy Birthday Baby!" Dokyeom says with your precious daughter in his arms and a strawberry cake.

"What's with the cake?" you ask looking up at him, then realising your little princess probably ate while making it.

Her hands held a half eaten strawberry as you take her from your husband and shower her with kisses.

"What about me!" Dokyeom sulks and you shower him with kisses too.

"Best Birthday ever"

→Kim Mingyu

Bora haas been wanting a make up set like you have for ages. Mingyu promised to get her a kids make up set on the way back from work today, and he did.

Bora was so excited she started to jump around the living room.

It was a cute toy, with a mirror and brushes and everything. You just hoped it's goes okay on her skin and doesn't damage it.

"Thank you! Thank you!" her little frame hugs Mingyu.

She opens the kit and gets everything out.

"Appa, do you want to be the first customer of my salon?" she says.

He pretends to be a customer. "Hello, I would like a make over please" he says in a fake customer voice that makes your daughter giggle.

She happily obliges and puts this towel in his collar for his shirt. Quite thoughtful.

Bora roughly brushes over his face with some powder from the kit, being careful with it ends up going into mingyu's mouth and he blows raspberries to get it out.

"What kind of a salon is this?" he says giggling. Bora only laughs.

She finishes her masterpiece with a lipstick on her dad's face. a little over drawn but cute nevertheless.

"Tada!" she says as she holds up the mirror to his face.

"Do you feel beautiful daddy?"

"I feel so beautiful baby" he says and Bora runs to her room to bring one of her play wigs to put on her dad's head.

It was a golden bright wig with pigtails to complete the look.

You sneakily take a picture on your phone as you laugh.

Bora laughs too. "Daddy you look like a clown"

This comment makes you laugh even more coming from your daughter.

"Let's go mommy next!" Mingyu suggests with playful evil eyes and you almost run away before mingyu could catch you.

→Xu Minghao

"Daddy, it's tea time, cmon! cmon!" your younger daughter grabs your husbands hand and drags him to her room.

"Why am I not invited?" you pout.

"it's only for daddy"

She's seen Minghao do his tea ceremony often. He stopped a while before, but once your daughter was born, Minghao and your daughter started play dates where they would pretend to drink tea, you found it cute.

"How is daycare?"

"No one likes to play tea party" she complains as you watch this interaction.

The little girl pours the 'tea' its just water, into the her father's cup and her cup.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure, but I have you to play with me"

"You do, I'll play tea party with you all day" Minghao says picking up the cup and putting it to his lips.

"Appa, stick your little finger out, like this" she says and demonstrates.

"Ah yes, how can I forget" he says and does as told.

Your daughter really had him wrapped around her little finger. It was adorable to watch.

→Boo Seungkwan

"Stand here and shoot" seungkwan tells your 7 yer old son.

You were at the basketball court where seungkwan was teaching your son, Channie.

"Shoot, don't get on your toes" he yells at him from the sideline.

He finally makes a score and you cheer. Seungkwan looks very satisfied with himself.

"Let's do a mother son vs dad" you suggest and run into the court to start a match.

"Oh its on"

You jump on seungkwans back while his guard is down and, it becomes difficult for him to steal the ball from Chan and Chan scores. You put both your hands up in the air in celebration.

"Your dad's not that great at this after all" you say sassily to your husband kissing his cheek from the back.

"we'll see, we'll see, get off me! no cheating this time" he warns with a playful smile.

"We'll try"

This time you decide to take both his hands in yours and literally pull him away from the court while your son attempts to score. He misses twice and Seungkwan pretends to escape to save the ball.

Chan finally scores and seungkwan doesn't let your hand go though.

"We won!" you exclaim in your husbands face.

"Come here sneaky" he says wrapping his hands around your waist, not letting you go.

"You're not going to score this time" he says and throws you over his shoulder and grabs your son by the torso holding him with his arm.

It was all laughs and giggles.

→Choi Vernon

"AAH" you hear a shriek coming from the living room. It was your husband Vernon, running to the bedroom to you.

"There's a bug on the wall, bug on the wall"

You can deal with smaller bugs, so you walk out confidently, assuming it's a smaller bug, but it was indeed a big bug.

Your 4 year old Derek, had come out of his room hearing the shriek.

"It's a bug?" he asks, while you hold a container to catch the bug and Vernon hiding behind you, neither of you taking any action to actually catch the bug.

"Derek will catch it for you" your son says in third person and bravely goes to the bug, climbing the couch to for his little hands to get to it.

"Are you sure he's my son?"

"What do you mean? Of course he's your son!" you exclaim.

You see Derek picking up the bug by its wings and asking you to stretch the container, you outstretch your hand with the container as far as you could. The bug really gave you the ice and made your body shudder.

"Done! Here's your new home bug!" Your 4 year old talks to the bug that's now in the container.

You and Vernon share a look.

"Aw my baby, protects me from bugs" you pat Dereks back.

"That was nothing" he boasts, trying to impress his mom.

Lee Chan

"What do you think?" you husband, Chan, had just shared with you the most evil plan to prank your daughter. He wanted you in on it.

"She's going to cry" you warn him.

"It's a prank, we'll teach her to be a good sport" he justifies.

"You father daughter do what you want" you let it go. You eerily sound like what your mom used to say and that makes you chuckle internally.

"Okay, I'm gonna go hide it all"

The living room was a mess with all of Yu Na toys as she played in the living room.

"Yu Na" her father appears from the bedroom, "I have to tell you something"

Yu Na thinks its batch time and start whining, she hates bath time.

"It's something else" Chan clears and she calms down.

"Appa was hungry, so Appa ate something that was Yu Na's" he starts.

"My chocolate cake?" she asks in her little voice.

"There's chocolate cake in the fridge?" he looks surprised.

"Yeah, Uncle Dokyeom brought it yesterday"

"Ah, did he? I didn't eat that"

"What did you eat?"

"I ate all your halloween candy"

She looked like she was about to cry, her lips even turned downward. but what came out of her mouth was so precious.

"You were hungry?"

"Yes baby, I was"

"It's okay because you were hungry. You are supposed to eat when you're hungry and I love you so it's okay"

Chan and you were stunned to hear that. She hugs Chan and you give him a heartfelt look.

"This prank turned out wholesome" he says to you.

"Daddy didn't eat all your candies, we were just joking" you explain to your child.

"Just joking?"

"Yeah, we can have some after dinner" the little girl leapt in excitement and ran into the kitchen.

"We're raising the sweetest girl"

"All thanks to you, my love" he takes your hand and you smile at him.

____

I've been writing this ALL day, this is like 13 fics, I had so much fun though.

[b0xerdancer-writes]

It Wasn't Supposed To Happen Like This Part 3

Eris x Rhy's Sister! Reader

Summary: Eris used to be attached at the hip to Rhysand’s younger sister. Now that he has taken over as High Lord of the Autumn Court, his father’s old high table have been pressuring him to take a wife, he comes up with the brilliant lie that hes already courting someone and has been for several years now. Eris asks Rhysand’s little sister, the best way to get away with it and make it believable, to fake court her.

Warnings: Elain and Mor slander (I love Mor but it’s a plot point for later on I promise!), cussing 18+, some nsfw lean but no sex scenes yet, alcohol.

Trope/Prompt: Fake Dating

Word Count: 4,941

Notes: Part 3 is here, bit of a shorter chapter but im happy with where I left it off at, lots of Lucien and Eris bonding this chapter. Enjoy sweet affectionate drunk Eris. Not proofread at all. I posted this on my break. Posted on wrong account earlier oops!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You promised me we could go dance when I got back.” Happily intoxicated and finally relaxed, he wrapped his arms around me surrounding me with his scent of firewood and cinnamon. 

Lucien gave me an apologetic look from over Eris’s shoulder, as Eris nuzzled into my neck and hummed sweetly. A blush crept to my face at the overly affectionate display from the eldest Vanserra brother. His breath fanned across my collarbone as purred against me and I couldn’t help but feel an ache in my chest wishing for this to be a regular thing that I got to experience, but I was drawn from my spot as the forms of Azriel and Rhys talking with the other reentered Rita’s. I tapped Eris lightly on the shoulder and he made a hum of acknowledgement, his honey amber eyes seeking out my own  as he moved to pull me towards the floor. 

Just as I moved to stand myself I felt a squeeze of my hand from Mor, who was giving me a look that was a mix of sympathetic and apologetic.

 “I..,” she looked down into her lap where her other hand rested. “I never meant to lie, and I never meant for it to get so out of control like it is now. I, just, I’m sorry. I mean it. For what happened.”

I gave her a soft smile and squeezed back, biting back any bitter remarks that echoed in my brain after all these years of holding contempt against her. “Hey, no worries. We all have to do and say things to get by.”

She smiled softly back at me and moved her hand from mine into her lap as she let Eris pull me to the dance floor. She took a sip of wine and her shoulders deflated as Azriel and Rhys slid into the booth with her. Lucien had moved to the bar talking with the bartender there, though I couldn't see if he was ordering another drink or not. 

Eris pulled me close to him away from the prying eyes of the inner circle as he put his hands around my waist and tucked me into his chest, a slight rumble echoing there that I could only feel through the music.  The music was a slower one then what normally came from the live bands that rotated through, and Eris used it to his advantage as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, a small tilt of curiosity in his voice.

He brought my wrist up to his lips and pressed them to the small tattoo barely bigger than a fingernail. “What kinda deal did you make with her, hmm?” 

I moved to cup his face with the same hand he kissed. “You're too far gone to understand the significance of what it means right now if I told you.” I smiled softly, moving to pull him with the music as it began picking up into a faster beat, a new song.

He raised a brow at me with a cocky, sarcastic, yet relaxed look on his face. Mischief danced in his eyes, I’d never get used to how good that looked on him.

“I’m sure even in my haze I’ll understand.” He smirked as he pulled me tight against him, a move that was influenced by a mix of the music and trying to lure me into giving him what he wants; A move I knew all too well, that managed to bring me to my knees everytime.

I sighed as I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down so he could hear me over the pounding music. “It was a deal to get her to stop slandering you so much, I didn;t even think it was going to be a deal. Think she made it so I would understand how much she was sorry for everything she did.”

His eyes twinkled, as a smile bloomed on his face that made him practically glow. He cupped my face with both hands, eyes locking with mine. “You stood up for me again? Made a whole bargain just so I wouldn’t be slandered?”

I nodded and he purred loud enough I could hear it even with the blaring music. My heart skipped a beat as he dropped my face and pressed my body into his, leaning down to whisper into my ear.

“Darling,” he mused “I will never be able to repay you for all the favors you do for me. Thank you.” He pressed a kiss to my temple before he spun me around and pressed my back against his chest with a smirk.

“Plus, when you defended me against Azriel’s words earlier it was pretty hot little fox~.” He purred into my ear, blush crept into my cheeks and I spun out of his hold. 

He’s just drunk. There was no meaning behind his words really, just trying to get a rise out of me. “Get it together Eris, quit playing these games of yours.” I rolled my eyes and he let out a childish giggle.

“Okay, Okay fine. You win.” He surrendered but the mischief in his eyes wasn't gone.

He took my hand in his and spun me into him grabbing at my hands to lift me into his arms, my legs instinctively wrapped around his hips. He smiled wickedly at me, cheers erupted around us as the song came to a dramatic close. My eyes scanned the crowd behind Eris, everyone must have been watching us dance, he had managed to pull me into the center of the floor without me realizing. 

He smirked at me and I leaned in to whisper into his ear. “Sly fox.”  

His hand that supported my weight on my ass was a searing heat against me though he wasnt using any of his power. I jumped from his grasp to pull him into a quick bow. I was going to need several more drinks if this was how the night was going to proceed, sly remarks and lingering touches all masked under the influence of alcohol. 

Song after song played and we let eachother lose ourselves in the others' touches and remarks. Fuck it, if this was temporary I was bound and fucking determined to enjoy what attention like this I could get from my mate, even if he didn’t know that little fact he seemed to be enjoying it just as much as I was. Eventually as the night grew later I felt Rhys’s claws against my shields and I greeted him with a grumble for interrupting.

“Heading home, Feyre is starting to miss Nyx. Have fun, but not too much fun. Sorry for earlier I should have stepped in, I know you wouldn’t have let anyone talk about Feyre like that in my absence.” I felt his power rub against my conscience apologetically, it felt sad and remorseful.

“Have a goodnight Rhys, tell Feyre night for me too.” I laughed softly. “Don’t worry Rhys, I'll be good. I wont say it’s okay cause its not and your right but I’ll forgive you brother. I love you, have a goodnight.”

“I will, love you too.” He slipped out of my thoughts with an affectionate caress and my shields slid back into place.

As I returned my attention to Eris he was pouting, brows furrowed as he looked into my eyes. “What’s wrong Eris?” 

He let out a huff like a child throwing a tantrum. “Tell Rhys to leave you alone, it's us time.” 

I smiled and wanted to laugh at his childish behavior but bit it back as I smoothed out his hair. “Don’t worry you poor thing, he's gone now, he was just apologizing and saying good night.”

He pouted further when I called him a poor thing and it made me smile softly, a warmth blooming in my chest, but once he noticed my full attention was back on him he perked up. We danced for a while longer till the alcohol seemed to lessen from his system and he deflated as he held me close. 

“I have to go back to Autumn soon.” He sighed, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. 

I couldn’t stand seeing him upset. “Welcome back to the land of the coherent.” I joked trying to cheer him up and I felt him smile against me.

“Thank you, I mean it. You always put me first and I’ll never be able to repay you for all of it.” He mumbled into my shoulder.

I rubbed at his shoulders as he leaned against me for a moment before I began pulling him off the dance floor. “I gotta close out our tab but then we can go relax for a bit before you have to leave, okay?”

He nodded, eyes not glimmering nearly as much as they had been and my heart ached for him. I pulled him with me to the bar, the tender busy making drinks told us it would be a minute before he could get to us. Eris bid his time wrapping his arms around my waist and buried his face in between my shoulders. I held his hands that were firmly clasped around me with one of mine as I finally closed our tab out. He growled under his breath when I made him release me so we could leave the bar and I swatted his hand softly with a giggle. 

“You big teddy bear, we do have to leave the bar you know? You wanna go to the house of the wind? Or I actually share an apartment with Lucien in the city we can go there?” I crooned at him and felt him giggle into my shoulder.

“-partment” He cut himself off as he mumbled into my back.

“Wanna winnow or walk?” I rubbed at his forearm softly connecting the freckles that littered his skin.

“Walk, I don't know if I can winnow without getting sick.” He looked up from my shoulder, only his eyes showing over my shoulder. The gold and orange flecks in his amber eyes illuminated by the faelight signs behind the bar advertising the different brands they carried.

My breath caught in my throat as I entwined my hand with his and led him from the bar. He grumbled under his breath as I stepped out of his grasp. “I was comfy.”

I had to fight a giggle. “And I promise you, you can be comfy again when we get to the apartment.” 

He mumbled a fine and moved to step in front of me so he could hold the door open for me to pass through. “Fine. I guess that's an acceptable promise then.”

I smiled up at him as I passed and turned around to offer my hand out to him again. A smile crept onto his face but exhaustion was present in his eyes as he entangled his hand in mine. 

The walk to the apartment was slow, purposely though, so Eris could postpone having to put that mask back on and return to his court. It would probably be a week till I saw him again, a week for him that would be full of having to strategically put on a mask around his fathers court till he could replace them and build it the way he wanted to.

I felt a tug on my hand as Eris stopped to look out at the mountaintops, where a single shooting star fell and disappeared behind them. 

He looked over at me and a soft barely there smile graced his features. “You make a wish?” 

I would only ever wish for one thing, felt like  if I asked for more then it would be too greedy of me, especially when the mother and the cauldron couldn't even grant me my single wish. 

I nodded in response and the softest smile graced his features and his entire body seemed to relax. “So did I.”

I wanted to ask what he wished for but knew there was the superstition about if you told what your wish was that it wouldn’t come true, so I left the question unasked. He took a step back to my side and motioned to the sidewalk ahead of us.

“Ready whenever you are.” He looked down on me and the shop lights caught his eyes making them flicker like fire.

Fuck I wanted to kiss him here and now, but if I did I put everything on the table. I couldn’t lose this so I opted to push the feeling down and it felt like I was going to suffocate as I pulled him towards the apartment again. The rest of the walk was quiet Eris falling into line beside me. Once we made it to the apartment I led him up the stairs to see no lights on, Lucien must still be out then I reasoned. 

I pushed the door open, the wards clicking to life and unlocking at my presence. Inside was decorated in a mix of autumn and night colors, mine and Lucien’s safe haven here. The couch was large enough to fit both me, Lucien and one other person, the wood frame was a dark almost black color and the fabric that lined it a deep reddish orange that had reminded me of eris’s hair when we picked it out. A large blanket made of fur was thrown across the back of it, in case me or Lucien passed out there, on one of the 2 throw pillows it came with. Lucien had picked out a reading chair that was a deep emerald green that he’d tucked into a corner by a bookshelf, I knew he picked the color because it reminded him of Tamlin and the Spring Court but said nothing to him. He had a similar blanket to the one on the couch folded on the ottoman that matched the chair, the novel Lucien had been reading before he left for his mission sat bookmarked on top of the blanket. 

Plants and candles littered the space, nicknacks reminiscent of Spring and autumn sat on nearly every shelf.  A small coffee table separated the couch from the fireplace, on it my own books sat, one a precursor to the one Lucien had been reading and the other a gift from my father when I was younger that talked about constellations and astronomy. As I led Eris inside I could see his eyes sparkle and watched his shoulders completely deflate as he stepped over the boundary, I closed the door behind him and the wards locked into place again. 

Eris looked around a second before he found himself standing in front of the fireplace. He squatted down and sparked the fire to life before he stood back up and spotted a small wooden carved figure of a fox sitting regally, it had scratches and tiny dents in the soft wood but it was after all over 500 years old. Eris picked it up and turned it over, his eyes found mine and he looked like he was going to start crying.

“You still have this?” His voice cracked. Fuck.

I nodded. “Of course I do, it was the first gift you ever gave me.”

He had carved that fox for me by the edge of the pond the next time we had visited, it had become our regular spot to go when our fathers were meeting.

He set it back into its spot and wiped his eyes where tears had begun to bubble. I moved to sit on the couch and he took a few shaky steps forward before he dropped to his knees and buried his face in my lap, tears spilling from his eyes. Fuck this was so similar to the day he had been told he was to be engaged to Mor. 

I entwined my fingers in his hair, trying to sooth him softly but my own tears were beginning to line my eyes. We sat and he cried in my lap for an hour before he began falling asleep where he sat on the floor with his head on my knees. I couldn’t begin to comprehend why me still having that fox caused him to break like that, I wanted to ask but knew if I pried it would probably cause more pain. Somewhere the voice in my head answered me with the thought “because it shows you actually care. That you've always been there and always will be.”

I noticed his breathing had slowed, only catching here or there and I moved a stray hair behind his ear and he looked up at me, his sorrow filled eyes finding mine.

“You aren’t going back tonight, are you? It's awfully late and I wouldn’t want you to get sick from winnowing.” My voice was barely audible but he shook his head and sniffled softly.

“Then let's go get you into some comfy clothes, yeah?” He nodded and leaned back onto his knees to let me stand.

As I stood I ran my fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes to lean into my touch. Mother save me, even after crying for so long he still managed to look so pretty. I extended my hand out to him and he placed his in mine gently, as he stood his knees popped and he cringed; he had spared them no mercy with the force he collapsed onto them with earlier.

I led him to Lucien’s room, the two had to be a similar size I gathered based on what it looked like when they stood beside each other earlier. An old wooden dresser was tucked into the corner of the younger male’s room and I led eris to sit on the bed as I scrounged through the drawers till I found a pair of sleep pants. I pulled a loose white sleep shirt from the closet and passed them to Eris. 

“Go ahead and change, I’m going to slip into some comfy clothes of my own. My rooms right across the hall, when you are done just head to the living room. I’ll make us some tea and we can relax. Okay?” he just nodded as he looked at the clothes and I slipped out of the room, closing the door and stepping into my own room. 

I pulled a wine, almost maroon color set of satin pajama set, a tank top and pair of shorts, from my own dresser; quick to change into them I wrapped a matching sleep robe over my shoulders and slipped back out into the hallway. I could see Eris’s shadow on the wall of the hallway, the events of the day catching up to me as I processed everything now that I finally had a moment to breathe softly. I stepped into the kitchen, making us a pot of chamomile tea, drizzling the slightest bit of honey into our cups. 

Eris looked at me with the saddest smile as I handed him the cup and he took a sip of it. I put my own cup on the coffee table Eris following suit as he swallowed; he scooted a few inches down before he laid down on the couch, his head on my lap. My fingers found his hair as I watched the fire flicker in the hearth, he had one hand resting right above my knee which he clung to me with as if I would be ripped from his grasp. 

After a few minutes his breathing became shallow and I looked down at his sleeping face. He finally looked relaxed, I reached above him to pull the fur blanket onto his frame, and began humming a soft lullaby my father would sing to me when I was upset. 

I must have fallen asleep myself, because next thing I know I was woken up by the wards unlocking. As the door was pushed open Lucien stilled in the doorway, eyes wide like he had walked in on something he shouldn’t have. He settled after a second and shut the door behind him softly, wards clicking locked.

“I thought he was going back tonight?” Lucien raised a brow in question.

“He was originally. I offered to bring him back here to relax before he had to go back…” I trailed off

“But?” Lucien brought our cups to the kitchen, sitting them softly in the sink with a clink.

“When we got back, he spotted the little fox he carved me and broke down crying. I mean he was fully on his knees crying into my lap Luci.” I sighed and tucked a stray hair away from Eris’s face.

Lucien hummed in acknowledgement, quickly washing the cups and putting them away. “You know why?”

“No. He didn't say anything once he stopped crying.” I mumbled softly watching the way Eris’s features softened as I stroked his hair back.

Lucien stalked across the living room barely making a sound, besides a creak of a floor board. Leaning back and kicking his feet up onto the ottoman, he threw the blanket over his legs and sat the book on his lap.

“Its because he has realized that after all this time, you still genuinely care about him. That you have never once had a thing against him, never once thought him the terrible male everyone else does. That you still care, always have and always will.” Lucien sighed before he continued. “After all they said tonight, I think it got to him. When we went to the bathroom, he said something that got to me even. It didn’t make sense to me till now.”

I looked up at Lucien who had his head leaned back and was staring at the ceiling. “What did he say?”

His amber eye found mine, something serious in them. “I barely caught it under his breath, probably shouldn’t have even heard it. But he said ‘she's why i’m doing this, she’s why I’ve got to be better, she’s why.’ He was practically chanting it under his breath. I think Azriel’s words got in his head, I know he struggled with feeling he was enough of a good male to still call you his friend. Our father’s abuse broke how he views himself, so under that mask he wears opinions to get to him when it's. It’s a lot for him, it gets to him.”

I nodded, felt the tears line my eyes again but Lucien caught me off before I could say anything. “So when he saw that one little figure, it might be silly to you to see him cry over it but it was proof that even to one person, one person he cares for more than the Prythian itself, that he is none of those things and that someone actually cares, shattered him. Trust me when I say this hun, but he would raze all the courts to the ground if something happened to you, so yeah your opinion of him matters more than anything to him.”

Tears ran down my face slowly. “But why?”

“Why what?”Lucien half smiled.

“Why do I matter so much” I sniffled

“Honestly, I don't know, just do. If I had to guess it's because you have been there since the beginning, since before his life went to shit.” Lucien hummed. “Now stop crying or you’ll wake him up, wipe your cheeks off.”

I wiped my face and nodded quickly. “Can I ask something?” Lucien mused.

I nodded. “Yeah?”

“You emphasized the fact that he was on his knees. Like you had seen it before, what happened last time that made you realize how important the reason for crying was to him, whatever it was?” He returned his gaze to the ceiling.

“It was the woods after he was informed about his engagement to Mor…” I mumbled and looked down to watch how Eris’s fingers clung to my leg. 

“Oh.” Lucien hissed.

“He snuck out a bottle of alcohol and we ran off to our spot in the woods. He broke down in my arms, we broke down and cried together.” I sighed “He begged me to not leave him alone in the world.” 

Lucien sat up fairly quickly. “He.. He begged you?” Lucien’s eyes both found purchase on me. “He thought you would leave him and he begged you to stay?”

I nodded. “He begged and apologized and we both cried harder than I thought was possible. He asked if I hated him Lucien.” The younger male sucked in the sharp breath.

“What did you say to him?” The redhead murmured to me like it was almost forbidden to say it out loud.

“I promised him that I never have, never could, and never will.” I brushed Eris’s hair out of his face again and he smiled in his sleep and purred against my thigh.

Lucien’s eyes widened as if he realized something that had eluded him for years. “You made a deal with him that you would never be able to hate him… You wouldn't have made that deal unless you knew it couldn’t be broken no matter what. Your mates aren’t you?” 

I nodded and Lucien wiped his face with your hands. “He doesn't know does he?” 

I shook my head again. “No he doesn't” 

Lucien hissed under his breath. “Oh now you two have most definitely worked yourselves into a mess.”

I furrowed my brows. “What do you mean?”

“He loves you, I know that much. For you to matter that much to him he has too. He chose you for this whole fake dating thing for a reason then” Lucien mumbled. 

I stilled and cut him off. “He said he chose me because I was the first female that came to mind that he trusted enough to ask to do this.” I hissed.

“The first female,” Lucien hissed back, “Because he is in love with you.”

We both sighed loudly and Lucien turned to me with a soft look in his eyes. “Just don’t let him burn himself out is all I ask. He’s the only other good member of my family, snuck me out to Spring Court, warned me about what they were going to do to Jes.”

I nodded and he stood. “I'm going to go take a bath, have a good night, I’ll see you both in the morning.”

Jesminda came up, after all these years it was still a sore spot for him. Especially after he had seen Elain hanging on Azriel, I was just surprised he brought it up himself. Showed how much Eris truly meant to him, made sense why he cared so much but his wording confused me. 

“What do you mean by ‘Don’t let him burn himself out?’ Lucien?” I furrowed my brows in confusion. 

Lucien stilled in the archway of the hall, his back still to me as he looked over his shoulder. “I mean he is willing to play with as much fire as it takes to stay close to you even if he burns out in the process. Don’t let him burn out, keep his spark ignited, fan it into a raging forest fire. We both know the capability he has to become one of the best males there is, we both know the only reason he has to do that now is you. He is reforming Autumn for you it seems like. Keep that spark fanned, strike out whoever wants to snuff it. The only thing keeping him burning is you.” Lucien’s mind was racing as he spoke but mine was equally so. 

He turned and looked me dead in the eyes, a fire raged deep within them. “Promise me, make a deal with me here and now.”

“What?” I was taken off guard by his tone of voice.

He strode over to me with his hand extended. “Let's make a deal here and now that you will protect him, that you won't let him burn out or let anything bad ever happen to him again. That you’ll chase his terrible thoughts away, just like you did tonight, whenever they become unbearable for him.” 

I looked back down at his hand, then back up into his amber and metal eyes. I placed my hand firmly in his. “It's a deal.”

I didn’t want anything from Lucien in exchange, knew we both wanted the same thing here, for Eris to be happy. I knew what my purpose was the second I felt the sting of a new bargain tattoo on my upper right arm. As I pulled back from Lucien and looked to the spot i had felt the sting, I knew that no matter how long it was going to take even if we got into a terrible argument after this arrangement, that I would wait for Eris and be there to chase his fears away, knew the second my eyes locked on the tattoo that perfectly mirrored the wooden fox Eris carved for me all those years ago.  In the same spot on Lucien’s shoulder was a constellation in deep red ink.  

Lucien smiled at me and returned to the archway calling over his shoulder before he disappeared with a smirk. “Goodnight Sister.”

It felt like my body absorbed all the heat it could from Eris and pushed it right into my face, my heart racing and an ache settled in my chest that was only soothed by Eris’s fingers clinging slightly tighter to me. I settled taking the second throw pillow and putting it behind my head, the least Lucien could have done was give me his blanket before he left, Fuck. 

Taglist:

@stained-glass-eyes0708

@acourtofbatboydreams

@abysshaven

@wallacewillow0773638

[tragedyslut]

you and ellie had dated. it was, a good time for both of you. then you left her. just simply because you had commitment issues.. and an avoidant attachment style. it was just too serious for you.

you still thought about her, you were both still in Jackson, you had been with her back in Seattle. you were with her after joel died. you had been with her through everything, and you had left. you couldn't say you didn't regret it, because you did. but you had a new girlfriend, or.. sort of girlfriend. you were just talking,

meanwhile, ellie was still crushed by you leaving. she knew you had a new girlfriend. she couldn't help but lay in her bed and think about what you probably said to your new girlfriend now. did you tell her she was pretty? did you say that she loved you? did you actually commit to her?

she couldn't escape it. she began to not love you, to let go, but everytime she'd just run back to that same spot. waiting for you to miraculously come back. she wondered if you thought it was worth it, did you feel better now?

she knew you'd never forget her. or at least thats what she hoped everytime she was crying in bed about you. she was just so crushed. she could have loved you, really loved you, but you wouldn't let her.

One day she decided to stop wallowing in her pity, and show up at your door. this wouldn't do anything good for her, she knew that. if anything, it'd make things worse. but she just, needed to shout at you about how shitty you made her feel.

she knew where you lived. you hadn't moved.

god, she couldn't stop thinking about you.

she was laying in bed, pillow between her knees as she desperately rode it. she couldn't forget how you made her feel, sexually and in general. her clothea were discarded to an unknown corner of the room as she kept desperately riding her pillow.

after a while of no she relief all, she got frustrated. she was so desperately horny. she couldn't do what you did to her by herself.

in a daze, she sloppily pulled on her clothes and stumbled out of her home.

she walked down the rigid pathway from her house, towards the little scheme of houses you lived near. she kept thinking about you the whole time. she saw an old lady drinking tea in her living room, (whom she knew) who probably thought she was insane for wandering about this part of Jackson at this hour.

she finally got to your door, and didn't hesitate to knock on your door. she didn't even realize what she had done until you swung the door open.

" ellie? what the actual fuck are you doing here? " you mumbled out, half asleep still. what could she possibly be doing here at this hour, and in her pjs no less.

" we need to talk. " she deadpanned, staring right at you.

" okayyyy.. well its 4am. can it not wait? " you said, still trying to keep your voice down because it was late.

ellie shook her head and pushed past you into the house. you had no idea how this whole thing would.. play out.

you followed her into the house, and then watched as she plonked down on your couch. you sat down next to her, giving her a confused and mad look.

" you're a fucking dick you know that? moving on and just leaving me like im nothing! "

" ellie. i haven't moved on. i think about you all the time. "

" why did you have to leave me like that..? i loved you. i really- i really could've loved you. but you didn't fucking let me. "

" ..what if i let you now? "

" what did you just fucking say? "

" ill let you love me. we can start again. "

ellie just started sobbing when you said that. it was everything she wanted, but she was just.. so upset. still.

" why did you not just stay.. " she sobbed out, not being able to contain herself. even when you embraced her, she only just kept sobbing.

after around an hour of her sobbing and breaking down, she finally pulled herself together.

" im sorry ellie. you deserved better than me leaving you like that. i promise. i won't do it again. if you'll.. just let us have another chance? "

" you can't ever get away from me and you know it. " she sniffled, giggling softly at her own comment. she was right though.

[hunterbunter3000]

sweetheart collects little trinkets she finds on the field and around base (sometimes steals things she likes, nothing big) to gives to the boys (and laswell), the boys treat them like collectibles and get pissy when someone tries to take them. they often show them off to each other to see what they have. the trinkets range from rocks/stones/pebbles, small keychain accessories, flowers etc. to bullet shells, bones, teeth??? etc.

sometimes they get handmade trinkets (where sweetheart makes something outta the trinkets she finds) price has a handmade fishhook made outta a broken safety pin, massive metallic bead and a metal feather earring stud,he put it on his hat and gets all happy when someone mentions it, soap got a bracelet made outta random beads and some string (maybe some bone), gaz has a pin made outta a bottle cap that she got from a night of drinking, the bottle cap is from gaz’ a fav alcohol drink, ghost got bones in a jar with a little skull ornament on the side, the list can go on, they are all impressed by her craftsmanship but are heavily concerned where she gets the more morbid and obscene materials from

the boys will defend their trinkets with their life and refuse to trade (St, gave me it, fuck off and get your own)

IM KICKING MY FEET RNNNN THIS IS SO ADORABLE 😍😍😭😭💖💕 I love how everyone came together and said "Yeah Sweetheart is a weird goblin and we love her" LMAOOO

May I add on to the trinkets just a bit--

The kleptomaniac collector and scavenger of things will find the best items on the battlefield istg-- everytime she kills the enemy, she always picks on their gear and scavenges around to find anything she likes. Soap and Roach honestly help her find things (like a coin with a bullet hole in it, or a finger. Maybe an ear or an antique cup from an abandoned home) and give to her so she can make something out of it

She gets so excited when she finds old flasks because she can fix em and give them to Cap or Graves (as much as she hates him, she always thinks of him) and she gets SUPER excited when Krueger comes back to the base after being out of the country and gives her rare findings (like a crystal bowl or an old pocket watch! He did steal a real diamond before for her, that was a fun day HA)

Laswell honestly looks forward to her crafts because her wife loves them (I have a headcannon that Laswell and her wife have emotionally adopted Sweetheart AHAHA) Sometimes her wife would give Laswell rocks and feathers that she found at home so Laswell can give it to Sweetheart (she's so giddy everytime)

Once the week is almost over, they have SSS (Sweetheart Scavenger Sundays) and the guys show what they have LOL Horangi would even FaceTime Rodolfo and Alejandro to show off what Sweetheart sent them (Alejandro has a necklace that's laced with silver and gold teeth and human finger bones, a handmade knife sheath made out of rabbit skin, and a tiny house made out of tank metal. Rodolfo has a carved wooden bunny, a lucky gecko tail key chain, and a pouch full of silver coins)

They love all of her gifts, even though they're weird and sketchy as fuck, but it's thoughtful! And don't touch them or ask to have it or they will give you the side eye

[nanaloco]

Being bestfriends with Jeno

'You know, I think I like you'

Warnings : none (I only write fluff)

Genre : fluff, Bestfriend!Jeno x Gn!Reader

What it would be like to be best friends with Jeno ( who secretly likes you)

Disclaimer, I'm not claiming I know anything about them, this is pure fiction for fun :)

• Your friendship is almost like a sibling relationship

• Like twins

• Not in a weird way, you two just act like you are

• You always look out for eachother,

• Will always stand/sit next to eachother

• Move in sync and sometimes say things at the same time

• Bicker a lot and share the same mannorisms

• It's just because you two hang out so much and  you soak up eachothers personalities like sponges

• So you're both kinda a mix of Y/n and Jeno

• It's gotten to the point where your friends (the dreamies) question it

• 'Theres no way you two didn't grow up together'

• Despite the sibling dynamic, theres always some sort of tension between you two

• Too many almost kisses to count

• And shyness every now and then

• Jeno is overprotective of you

• A hand behind your back in crowded places

• If you ever pop to the store real quick during a group hang out, you'll always bring the other their favourite snack

• 'Im jealous, why can't Y/n bring me food everytime she goes to the corner store like she does for Jeno' - probably haechan

• 'Theres obvious favouritism here'

• He's probably the person you call when something bad happens

• 'Jeno, I've just bumped the back of this persons car wtf do I do'

• 'Jeno I need to take my car to the mechanic please can you come with me'

• 'Jeno theres a cockroach under my bed!'

• 'Theres no more icecream in my fridge'

• No matter how ridiculous it is, he'll come running

• You and jeno probably end up on the same side in group arguments, not because of eachother but because you both agree with the side you're on and more the less think the same

• You two have matching shiba inu plushies, his is the black one and yours is the orangy beige one

• Tries to get you to be active with him, will try to make it fun,

• 'If you go on this 1 hour bike ride with me, I promise I'll get you food after'

• 'If you hike this hill with me, and make it all the way to the top, I'll buy you your favourite expensive meal everyday for 2 weeks BUT if you fail, you have to join me on my wednesday morning jog everyweek for 2 months'

• His over protectiveness took new heights when you got pushed to the side by an old man trying to get to his bus late at night

• And his idea of a solution was to hold your hand at all times

• Which slowly shifted from late at night coming home from the gaming cafe you all stay at late at night

• To the grocery store

• To school and the cantine (if u want to imagine you 're in school / uni)

• Essencially, he started holding your hand everywhere

• For safety, because you always are losing your balance

• That's a logical solution right?

• As long as it's not infront of the dreamies it's fine right?

• Until one day you two showed up to your meet up spot, holding hands

• 'Somethings not right here, Jeno and y/n came here TOGETHER, HOLDING HANDS!?'

• 'Well maybe we did'

• Jeno just shrugs, not letting go of your hand despite your loosening grip

• As you guys are just walking around, Jeno would just turn to you and say

• 'You know, I think I like you'

• Leaving you in absolute SHOCK from the sudden confession

• The thing about Jeno is that he's a very direct person

• He doesnt beat around the bush with things that are important to him

• And he's willing to put in the work for however your relationship changes

Just wanted to add this picture because jeno is such a cutie

Thank you so much for reading 💕💕

Requests are open literally spam me!!!!

[marvel-and-chicago-fan]

Wishing

Matilda Age: (15 years old)

Warnings: dont remember them since this is a old imagine

Summary: Jay wishes for something horrible now she ends up in the hospital

Never say, I wish

Me and Matilda were in a fight over her grades. She had gotten a C- after i told repeatedly to study instead she was on her phone talking with friends and watching Disney+. Things had gotten to the point where Will tried to interfere but I ended up snapping at him. 

“Do you ever listen to my instructions?” 

“I do, oh my gosh Jay you never give me a break. It's always Mattie  study, Matilda this Matilda that.” She argued 

“Because you don't listen whenever you need to. This always happens. You don't study, you don't do your homework.”

“That was one time Jay” She said with an attitude “and everytime you say" Mom wouldn't be happy with what you're doing”. I wish you would just stop bringing her up”

“I wish you were never in my life” I snapped

As soon as I said that, I immediately regretted it and wanted to take it back. Matilda just stood there looking like she was about to cry.

“Mattie i'm sorry” i said

She just ran up to her room and slammed the door shut. Will gave a death glare and I knew I was so screwed not only with will but because I knew he would tell Hailey and Hailey would give me the worst lecturer of my life.

“Man why the hell would you say that”Will yelled

“I don’t know it just slipped”

“It just SLIPPED?”He yelled “Are you insane did you not think about what you said before you said it”

“I'm sorry I didn't think, I'll go say sorry to her now.” I said walking 

“No, let her calm down first because what you said was so wrong”. 

And just like that i had put myself in the worst situation

***

Matties POV

Why would he say that? Does he actually mean that? Maybe he is right, mom wouldn't be proud of me. I'm just a burden to both of them.

Walking around I felt a familiar feeling. The feeling of fainting. “Ugh of course this has to happen now” I yell in my head. I go to sit down on my desk chair but I don't make it very far when I can already feel myself falling.

Everything hurts so much.

All I can see is black.

***

Wills POV

Im sitting scrolling on my phone glancing at jay everyone once and a while who looks antsy to go see Matilda. I look back down at my phone and I hear a loud thud. Hoping its matilda releasing her anger by throwing things i yell to make sure she's ok. “Mattie you good up there?”

I don't hear an answer from her and I yell aging. “Mattie!” Me and Jay both exchange a worried look before running up to her room and barging in.

“Matt why aren't you- Shoot Mattie can you hear me? '' Will said, slightly slapping Mattie's face. 

“Jay go get the car ready we can't wait for an ambulance” Will immediately checked to make sure she had a pulse and was relieved she did.

Jay nodded and ran out to the car so he could pull it out to the front.

I picked Matilda realizing how light she is. I ran out to the car and jay opened the door for us and we sped off to med

“This is 50-21 gorge. I'm headed to Chicago med. 15 year old female was found unconscious in her room.” I could hear jay radio in

***

“See Jay, this is why we don't say things like that. I had a co-worker in New York who wished that she didn't have a sister. the next day her sister died on the way to her house.” 

“I'm not gonna say anything until I see Matilda. I could never forgive myself if something happened to her and that was the last thing I ever said to her.” Jay said, i could hear his voice. He was on the verge of tears but Jay doesn't like to cry in front of people because he thinks it's embarrassing. 

Just then connor came and me and jay stood up hoping for good news 

“So she's stable and it was just another episode. She does have a concussion. I assume she fell on her head because she didnt get down fast enough. “

“Can we see her now?’ I asked already knowing the answer.

“Of course, good luck with her. She's delirious from the meds.’ He chuckled and left to continue his work. 

“Matilda, stop. How many times do I have to tell you to stop playing with your IV”. Making her jump because she didn't see us walk in. 

“Ok Jay, you can say whatever you want to say now.”

“I'm so sorry I said that Mattie, I never meant to say that. I just had a bad day and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. 

“I forgive you, and i'm sorry to i should start to listen to you guys more often” She admitted

I just let out a small laugh and we all broke out in laughter on how stupid the argument was.

“I love you guys” Mattie said

“We love you too Mattie” Jay replied

I hate this one but i just wanted to post something while im working on a new imagine, even though i could've picked from many of my imagines i never posted

[stxrry-dxys]

alright i wanted to elaborate a little bit on this post i made here. i’ve been dying to do a proper analysis on hero’s character, but before we start i would like to make some things clear: i do not hate any of the kids, and i do not think any of them are bad or irredeemable people. while i do not think all of their actions were good or justified, i do believe that they had every right o feel upset, hurt, or overwhelmed in the scenarios i am about to analyze. i just want to clarify because i don’t want it to sound like i’m here to dogpile on hero, aubrey, or kel specifically. they’re kids, they’re going to be bad at handling things, and while i am going to criticize some of their actions i do NOT think that they are horrible people by any means. now let’s get into why i think hero is not the perfect responsible boy sunny or the fandom has built him up to be.

hero and mari are the oldest children in a group of friends with not many solid parental figures. kel is a glass child, something hero is shown to be aware of when he runs to kel after their argument when he sees he’s being ignored. as well, their mom is shown to be slightly manipulative and guilt trippy in the game. and while i don’t think this necessarily means she’s abusive i do think saying things like “your mean old brothers don’t want anything to do with us” can create a lot of guilt and stress within a household, especially when their dad just kind of sighs and lightly tries to talk with her. aubrey is in an abusive and neglectful household with her mom, and her dad is implied to be a bit controlling (“my dad would never let me dye my hair”). basil lives alone with an ailing grandmother and parents who are never around. sunny’s only solo memories of his father are the tree chopping incident and him yelling about lost remotes so much that everytime you even click on a remote sunny says not to touch it because “it might get lost”. (im going to exclude sunny’s mom from this section as i feel there’s lots of different ways to interpret her dynamic with the kids and i swing back and forth on these myself).

but all this to say, hero and mari are sort of forced into this parental role for all these kids, while they’re only teenagers themselves. and while the younger ones obviously look up to and admire them, there’s only so much they can do, and both of them are subject to bias as well. this is where i think the idea of them being “so responsible!” kind of fails, though it’s more obvious with hero than with mari.

in headspace, pretty much the first thing hero does is scold kel and aubrey for fighting, a very, very consistent theme for his character. and yes, i am aware that headspace is not 1:1 with the real world, but i do think a lot of the character moments between the main four are based off real events that may have happened. so yeah, hero scolds kel and aubrey a lot, but he also fails at scolding them a lot. often he plays the mediator (“cut it out you two” or “you two are in trouble now”) and while it gets kel and aubrey to drop their current fight, it doesn’t stop another one from coming in the next five minutes. and this failure to prevent their fights and getting more and more annoyed with them throughout headspace’s run culminates in hero’s biggest mistake in how he handles the two of them, that if we’re to believe is based off events that did likely happen, bleeds into the current day fight between kel and aubrey as well.

during the humphrey section of two day’s left, the main four find a lone flower crown lying on the ground. they forgot don’t know who it belongs to, but it’s crumpled and dirty. aubrey debates taking it to return to its owner, and hero says it may not be in a condition where they even want it anymore. and then kel kicks it off the edge, sparking aubrey to yell at him. now kel is slightly in the wrong here, as the best thing to do would be to just not touch it instead of kicking it into the void. and aubrey being frustrated is understandable, but ultimately it’s not a super big deal as it’s not any of their property, so she’s not really in the right for picking a fight here either. however when kel goes to defend himself and say “well hero said no one would even want it any more anyways!” hero snaps. (“that’s enough! kel, apologize to aubrey.”) and this is the biggest issue with hero playing parent for the group, he’s biased.

hero grew up with kel, he’s his brother so he gets to be a little mean or snappy at him and have it all be fine later, and the inverse is true as well. but as much as hero may see aubrey as a little sister, he is not related to her, and he will not feel as comfortable scolding her as harshly as he does kel. so when he reaches his limit with their fighting and snaps, he doesn’t snap at aubrey, he snaps at kel and demands he put a stop to it, even if kel doesn’t really need to. see, kel is in the wrong in this situation, but not with aubrey. the flower crown belonged to someone else, not her. he owes an apology to the person who’s property he just destroyed, not her. and while she is allowed to be frustrated that he did that, she has no right to be completely upset with him (she goes on to pout and ignore him after he apologizes which is absolutely unjustified as it was not her crown, and to her knowledge she does not know who it belonged to). but hero is a teenager, he’s about 15 here and he’s so tired of these 12 year olds fighting, and he just wants it to stop, so he tells kel to apologize to aubrey, even if she’s not the one owed an apology. he’s scolding kel, yes, but not in the right way. and this is a mistake that i think sticks around.

and while no, we do not have proof that this definitively happened in the real world, it’s such a specific scenario for sunny to include, and one i’ve seen happen among my own siblings and my friends siblings, i absolutely believe something similar happened. and i do think this is where mari gets a slight advantage playing neutral in kel and aubrey’s fights, as she’d only really have the familiarity to snap that way at sunny (like she’s implied to do during concert rehearsals) so she gets to play middle ground with the other two more than hero does. but i did mention that i think this had an impact on the real world as well.

kel and aubrey’s biggest issue in the real world is this: aubrey feels abandoned by kel and kel feels betrayed by aubrey. and i want to clarify, i think they’re both a little right and a little wrong. aubrey is absolutely right to be upset that kel never reached out to her (especially when we know he reached out to sunny and hero), but she is not right to be upset with how he handled his grieving process after mari’s death (she notes that she was upset at how quickly he moved on, and to her credit she does acknowledge that this was wrong of her). kel is absolutely right to feel betrayed by aubrey picking fights with him, sunny and basil and being upset that she’s just kind of a bully towards them now (she and the hooligans are noted by kel to be trouble before you properly meet them, they write kel smells outside his house, she refuses to give basil’s photo album back after four years of begging and says herself that she calls him a freak and lets others do it too, she tries to kick them out of a public area in a public park oh my god this part really annoys me about the hooligans wtf was this plotline) (also side note: yes kel is allowed to be upset about her holding basil’s property hostage as he both knows who it belongs to, and has been asked to retrieve it by said person while he was on the brink of tears) but he is not right to keep throwing mari in her face as a moral one-up card, nor is he right to blame her for basil almost drowning when she accidentally pushed him in (she IMMEDIATELY declares it was an accident and is visibly worried about him even though she’s upset with him).

i think ultimately this fight spawns from two things, aubrey has been taught that she is owed an apology when she feels she’s been wronged, without looking at both sides. and kel is tired of always having to be the one to apologize first when he feels he’s not in the wrong, without looking at both sides. again, they’re both a little right and a little wrong for these perceptions. after all, it’s what hero taught them when he broke up their old fights. and even when he finds out about this one, his solution is still ineffective even all these years later. because instead of suggesting they talk it out, which is what would really help them reach an understanding of the other’s feelings, he calls it “another classic kel and aubrey fight” and says they “just need to hug it out”. and while i think he’s trying his best, this is absolutely not what they need. there is a lot of deep seated anger here and it even shows on their faces after he suggests this (kel looks away awkwardly and aubrey is on the brink of tears).

in fact, they don’t even really make up until after kel tells her they dug through the trash in order to save the photo album and they all look through it together. it’s through aubrey realizing that kel does in fact care about their memories together, and kel remembering that even after all this time aubrey still is the same sweet girl he knew, that they finally understand each other’s perspective a bit more. kel can see how hurt aubrey is and aubrey starts to understand that kel had his own way of processing mari’s death.

but even though hero was brought over to fix the situation, he ultimately ends up failing to help the two reconcile, they do it all on their own. because at the end of the day, hero is not a parent. he is a brother, a friend, and a teenager. kel and aubrey don’t know how to process their emotions or fights any more than he does, and he makes a lot of mistakes in the process. and i think this is where a lot of his guilt over mari’s death comes from, and basil’s too in the neutral ending. he was supposed to be the responsible one, the parental one, the perfect balance. but he couldn’t be there for mari and basil, he couldn’t even be there for kel and aubrey. and while that is not his fault, and should never have been his responsibility, he is always going to hold that against himself, he is always going to see himself as a failure.

truth be told, he shouldn’t have been put in a position to believe that in the first place. he should have just been allowed to be a dumb teenager who makes mistakes and doesn’t have to take care of everyone around him. and that’s what i find so fascinating about hero’s character. he is a dumb teenager who makes mistakes, just one that was put on a pedestal and parentified, expected to take care of everyone and everything, when for a whole year he couldn’t even take care of himself. he’s bad at being responsible, and i wish he would’ve been told that’s okay, because it is.

tagging the person who asked to be notified about this post ( @skyisepic ) i’d also love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this analysis, if you have anything to add or if you feel i went too harsh on anyone throughout this please let me know!!

[bxttxrflybxddie]

LETS FINALLY TALK ABOUT MY FAV POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW ((aka, me simping for mime bomb for an entire episode)) ((beware))

so starting off, i really enjoy that we see things of carmens past get to her. i love love love it when our heros arent always perfect robots and do go through emotions; including past traumas that get to them

to this day shadowsan shouldve called foul idc idc lol

black sheep doesnt get it the first time, thats fine! she knows that shadowsan is a very skilled thief. but the more she misses the more agitated she becomes until it seems like shes stealing for her life. this is a lovely detail!!

also crackle watching her w a big smile on her face bc ugh shes so cool, theres no way shes gonna fail! right?

she falls and D: but tigress is being a meanie as usual

player knowing whats wrong bc hes a great bestie

ALSO GET THIS CHILD SOME NATURAL SUNLIGHT PLEASE.

i've never personally been to san francisco so learning about the fog was a nice touch! i havent seen any movies or shows go over the fog either!

her charity fit is so slay oh my god

what an expensive stamp

i wish we couldve seen players stamp collection el oh el

devineaux yet again being a Guy, i love him lol what a Dude

SHE FR THREW A RED BOTTOM HEEL AT HIM. MA'AM I WOULDVE TAKEN IT.

julia being smart againUGH shes my WIFE.

MIME BOMB!!! THE MAN OF THE HOUR !!!!!!!!!!

THE WALKING BACKWARDS !!!! HES SO CUTE I JUST WANNA KSJDFKSUBDHSKJLF

julia being correct again.

wh. whwere is mime bomb calling the faculty from????

I think shadowsan continues to send Tigress bc he knows shes gonna fail. to this say i wish they wouldve touched on this.

i also enjoy the detail that dr bellum watches cat videos lol shes a cutie

MIME BOMB SITTING ON NOTHING??????? WALL SITTING ON AIR. THE CORE STRENGTH???????? (sidenote very attractive imo bc im crushing on him)

Brunt: "he aint what youd call the strong silent type." HES WALL SITTING ON AIR. WITHOUT A DROP OF SWEAT, NO MOVEMENT, JUST CHILL. HOW. BRUNT HOW ARE U MISSING UR CLEAREST STRONGEST STUDENT.

i think tigress' day outfit is cute. shes a fashionista.

AND THEN HES READING AN INVISIBLE NEWSPAPER, STILL SITTING ON NOTHING.

Mime Bomb is visual comedic gold. One of the many things I enjoy abt his character and how he steals the show everytime hes on screen. give him more screentime. revive the show for him, pls,.

tigress is a grown woman bringing up old shit. cmon girl.

i also enjoy the differences between how carmen and tigress open the lucky cats. I LOVE CHARACTERS.

ug hes my husband i gotta say more abt him. mime bomb is so smart, hes such a genius lil mime whos a code breaker and a quick thinker. i wish we couldve seen him be more intellectual than the rest of his peers more often. dumping the big obvious cat to not only distract carmen but to get away w the stamp? genius, he deserves a kiss. mwah.

HIS LIL STRUT!!!

"Another street clown, so what?" HES A MIME!!!! U SILLY GOOF!!!!!!

HIS DOUBE LOOK BACK STARE IM. i need him to be real. i need to omg.

miming running away to be tackled pt.2, cmon babe this is a pattern now.

THEY JUST. KIDNAPPED HIM. BAG OVER HIS FACE AND ALL.

'~' (((hes very cute)))

they handcuffed a non-verbal fella. i feel like this is more messed up then i think.

julia being pro-mime. we stan.

now rewatching this, chase straight up SLAMMED our sweet mime into a CONCRETE WALL. i need to fight a frenchman for that very reason.

yet again to mime bomb being smart, PLANTING THE STAMP ON THE SAME PEOPLE TRYING TO FIND IT AND ALSO CARMEN SANDIEGO WHO IS ALSO TRYING TO FIND THE STAMP. OH MY GOD.

his expressions r very cute. mmmmwah

slay tigress being smart!! shes not dumb she just makes some brash decisions!!!!!!!!!!! characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"what about 'Where did you hide it'? >:( ma'am yall are in PUBLIC. CARMEN DOES THE SAME THING.

for 2 people trying to follow a mime these acme agents are doing a bad job at figuring out what he's doing.

*how episode wouldve ended if they looked a little deeper*

julia: "Inspector, could you check your left, inside pocket?"

chase: "ugh, if it pleases yWHAT-"

and then they wouldve also seen him act this out Very Publicly to a woman that is Not Carmen Sandiego which would help them for future investigations at least

LOOK AT THE DUDE YOURE FOLLOWING PLS

mime bomb didnt even keep the 26 cents tigress gave him lol

((tw: talk about the taking care of witnesses rule)) if tigress can rip up an entire article of clothing without chase even feeling a tug, then i hate to imagine how swift she takes care of witnesses tbh

SHE JUST LIFTED AN ENTIRE MAN OUT OF A CAR WINDOW, N NOT THE ONE CLOSEST TO HIM.

((tw: mention of rule again)) also this victim was a witness. he saw her face. is she gonna come back to him orrr???

chase being a dummy dumb pt. 28374

WHY DID HE JUST LEAVE JULIA THERE????? WHAT AN ASS LMAO

okay but like. so the cleaners werent planned to pick her up given shadowsans reaction. h. how was she going to deliver the stamp?? teleporting????

this kids also is why u dont text and drive

SHE TOOK IT OUT OF HER POCKET TO SHOW THE CLEANERS THAT DEF CANT SEE IT FROM UP THERE. WHAT IF IT WAS WINDY??? CMOOOOIIOOONWKJEFSKHFKJDGSKHFJ

sidenote tigress took a precious stamp out of a little baggy in one fist close without damage to the stamp, well done!

whyyyy does tigresssss put the stamppppp in her hightop boooot ((that could not only fly out easy)) in front of the woman who has been known to be an improving thief and has crashed one of her missions before. she didnt get a dollar bill once. shes mad at that. TIGRESS, IF 2+2=4!!!

mmmm side profiles

i wanna be like "oh tigress why didnt you fight her" but at that point i wouldve gave up too

also the cleaners saw this all happen lmao

also slay devinaux being in actual danger, puts actualy fear and tension into the characters future!

tldr: WOOHOO MIME BOMB!!!!! and chase + tigress are silly geese

© BXTTXRFLYBXDDIE

[mylandofdarkness]

The Antagonist of My Life. My Mother.

My mother.. played a HUGE role in my life....

Now don't get me wrong.. things are better between me and her now but with my first 22 years of my life. she's given me hell. I never understood it till later that it was simply because Girls get it more rough than boys. Growing up I NEVER saw my mom lay a finger on him for anything. Instead every single thing I did.. where I was simply just a child THAT DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING... gets a bunch of beatings that she's gonna remember for the rest of her life. I remember crying so much, I remember hiding under a table, hovering in a corner while STILL getting slapped and beaten by my mother.. as I have a meltdown, I even locked myself in the bathroom for 20 minutes. My father had no role.. he wasn't able to do anything . So I'm just backed up in a corner getting hit as my father and brother sit on the side and watch. Like that's not traumatizing? for a Mother to stand there and beat and beat and beat her YOUNG child, daughter that is probably around 6-7 years old.. as she is screaming in pain from getting beaten. what kind of a mother does that. Does this child not have feelings?? Is this child suppose to not feel the pain? WHAT is this teaching the child? AS A CHILD... I was convinced she didn't want me to be happy, I was convinced she found pleasure in beating me every week, talking down on me, discouraging me, telling me all the things I liked was stupid.

So years go by.. all that abuse did something to me. it turned me into an easily agitated teenager, (Gee I wonder where I got that from). And I wasn't going to be those kids that commit suicide because of strict parents or being under pressure. So I got tired from my moms physical abuse one day when I was in mid-high school.

Her abusive hits didn't phase me anymore. Her 'discipline' wasn't going to do shit to me anymore. One Day when she raised her hand at me... I didn't cry, I looked at her dead in the eye... and just walked to my room so I didn't have to hear from her for the rest of the night. Another time where she wanted to give me a word (and a hand) I finally spoke up to her, she was hella surprised. My bro and Dad was surprised too . I said my piece, she told me I was making excuses. I told her it wasn't excuse. I wasn't going to easily back down. I wasn't going to give her that satisfaction of ME keeping quiet and crying, and having it end up being a meltdown. I wasn't going to let her be the only crazy one now. She created one... That's on her... And I want her to remember what she started and what she created.

So you see... Because of her I somehow always see the negative in most friendships I make. because I was treated so poorly when I was little, everytime I meet somebody I want to befriend, I would have higher expectations and always oversee a small negative . My mother never taught me how to treat others.. she taught me nothing but pain.

So fast forward to college.. I LIVED AWAY for college.. and it was the greatest 3 years ever. why? cause I was actually away from that toxic household and I was actually able to do what I want on my own. Met lots of cool people, partied, went out, talked to some boys, Figured myself out lots. College was done, I move back.. and yes everything was tense again. Keep in mind I went towards the Media Arts career path.. My mother thought that was a joke. So when it came to finding jobs.... she pestered me LOTS about it and it stressed me out a lot. pressured me into applying for jobs that I didn't find suited for myself. Now yes this is a different stage of my life.. They made me anxious on even finding a job. My mother made me feel like shit. This is where emotional and mental abuse comes in more. and when I finally landed a job at a well known company..

Things switched. I was suddenly the daughter they were proud of o.0 I'm the daughter that works at 'This place' WoW Im the daughter that's going to make a lot of money from this place. ...... That gave my phony vibes. Now that I'm making decent money.. your nice to me?? Now that other companies see my potential, you suddenly see it too?? Nah, you shattered my spirit for 22 years. You've emotionally and mentally brought me down almost everyday for 23 years. I'm not getting my years back.

Because of all this... a part of me resents her for how I ended up as a person. Every moment of hell she gave me, I remember it vividly.

[dykexenomorph]

MINA ASKS BE UPON YE!

Answer whichever u want :]

1. WHAT is her relationship w gortash cuz u started talking abt it but never finished and its so intriguing to me

2. Who is she romancing and what hc do you have on how being durge affects it cuz those types of hcs fuel me

3. Does she have any scars from her torturing herself\whats the worst one??

ANSWER AS DETAILED AS POSSIBLE OR ELSE

"answer whichever ones u want!" WRONG IM ANSWERING ALL OF THEM. I LOVE TALKING

1- gortash is mina's right hand arm. man. gortash is mina everything. her confidant. her best friend. her silly rabbit. (her WHAT) her silly rabbit. (is that what she calls him?) no. gortash's world revolves around that woman, meanwhile she simply sees him as a little box she has to put a checkmark thru for bhaalspawn reasons. they meet up again and he has anime puppy dog eyes meanwhile she's like "did i know this sad pathetic wet blanket of a man? i feel like id remember it if i did...." also he used to bring her back everytime she'd test her new murder methods on herself. did this bring them closer together? ABSOLUTELY NOT! did gortash think it did? well of COURSE he is very stupid. to me.

2- KARLACH. IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SO MUCH LATELY ACTUALLY, IM RLLY GLAD U ASKED. i think mina was probably very infatuated w karlach from day one, but she 100% stomped that feeling down and tried to completely snuff it out (partly because she was scared of hurting karlach but mostly because it was an old pre-worm habit). i don't think she truly realized how much she'd grown to care about karlach until AFTER they killed gortash and karlach broke down. karlach goes back to camp to breathe and mina just looks over to jaheira like "oh hey wow haha my chest feels like its caving in on itself? whats up with that haha. you're gonna help me convince her to go back to avernus right?? im not losing her right?????".

3- well yes!! she has too many to count, most of which covering up her chest and back, but theres still quite a few covering her arms and neck. idk if its the worst, but one of the more obvious ones is an old acid/poison burn (mark? scar? idk) from where she tried a diy spell on herself. it covers the entire top half of her chest, from shoulder to shoulder.

(^ in response to ur shart pic specifically)

[turkeyjournal]

Book review: Killers of a certain age by Deanna Raybourn

Just want to preface there WILL be spoilers so, dont read if you dont want spoilers.

OVERALL RATING: 7.8/10

Brief Descripition: 4 old ladies: Billie, Mary Alice, Helen and Natalie have worked for a secret assasination organzation called 'The museum' and forty years have been assasians. When they each are at the time of their life where they are retiring and decide to go on a cruise ship when all of a sudden the get attacked by The museum...

My Personal Thoughts: To be completly honest, i really enjoyed this book. I had alot of fun reading it and it was super fun. I wondered how they could write an action kind of novel in a book. Like how do you even write action scenes but Raybourn proved me wrong. This book is more a thriller/mystery/action type o book and i seriously suggest people read it. I was gonna give it a 8 but everytime they would mention art and descriptions of the art in the book, especially when at the end when they killed the baroness and at the end when they were trying to kill Vance i just got so bored and confused so it kind of ruined the vibe.

I actually thought i found a spelling error but then i found out that the word 'diffident' is a real word. I thought she was saying different but nevermind she wasnt. So there was no spelling errors which is great. I hate when a book has spelling errors it just looks dumb.

The start of the book, so like the first 50 pages were so bored. I think it had a good plot but i was reading it and just felt bored. But ater the first 50 pages, it was like i was stuck. The story was so intresting and thrilling, i loved how the book described every move. Sometimes the fight scenes in this made no sense, like at the end or example. When Billie was fighting Vance, half way i thought "what the hell is going on" and like "how is that move even humanely possible."

Billie was my favorite charcter. She had this kind of cool macho Sylvester Stallone in tusla king feel. It was cool to see a badass and older women who isnt some weird quiet "ive seen so many things and im so dainty and delicate and misunderstood" type of main charcter. Even her realtionship with Tarverner wasnt all angry and stupid, it was really mature and lovely.

During the time when they had killed Sweeney and Helen paused when shooting i thought that maybe Helen had something she was hiding and couldve done some whole betrayel act and played more into that because alot of back stabbing was happening throughout the story, but thats just my opinons honestly.

Overall, would i read it again? Maybe i could. When i rate things 7-8 usually means i really liked the book but it couldve been better and i MIGHT re read it but not 100% likely to. I think the size of the story was really good and i enjoyed it alot and it wasnt a hard read. It did however take me 2 weeks to actually start reading the book but that was only because i had alot to do with school and midterms. But now that i finally got to read it i thourghouly enjoyed it and i will be suggesting people to read this book aswell. I added an actualy picture of the book because last review looked a little dull so i put thisi to make it look prettier.

[backpackingspace]

okay were getting deep oversharing with the internet times bc I'm going to react to dw through my trauma lense. Specifically hell bent and heaven sent here we go.

So far so good.

Listen will I be grateful if these episodes no longer trigger me to hell and back. Will I also be pissed that I've spent years being triggered by this show when the original trigger episodes no long trigger me? Yes. Yes I will be.

Never mind there will be no deeper meaning sound here the doctor is trying to dry his doc martins up right and laced up and its annoyed me so much it's all I will associate with this episode now.

The doctor talking himself into being brave o.o baby. Also me. Talking myself into doing anything with heights.

Sprays last thought like a cat no bad. Making me based comparisons is how this whole mess got started

Oh. Yep there it is. Being forced to relive the things that scares you on purpose forever. "I'm scared and I'm alone" ha ha yah fuck

Okay listen self. If the doctor being forced to relive his wrost fears on purpose is torture than you being forced to relive your worst fear is torture. I know we don't want to accept that don't want to accept its that bad but it is.

Oh hey the losing time thing too?? Haha yah

The sleep deprivation

"Maybe I'm in hell" "how long do I have to be here? Forever?" Yah it sure did feel that that.

"Asking a skull if it's still scared" yah passively contemplating death so I didn't have to be scared anymore. That sure was a thing.

"There's something I'm missing and I think it's something terrible" literally shut the hell up

Im actually finding this really helpful to be able to go through and label my emotions and thoughts about my situation might show this to the brand new shiny therapist I now have.

"I'm playing someone else's game I cannot stop and everyone else has lost" man if we're taking ever line as a metaphor for what was done to me. This therapist had a deal with a school man. It literally terrifies me to think of how many kids she's messed up like she messed me up. Both before and after because let me tell you. She was so fucking good at messing you up. Took literally 3 sessions to get you dependent on her and going insane.

The clinging feeling of desperation that you just have to get through this it gets worse before it gets better.

"The I can't keep doing this rant"

the way he's just sitting defeated against the wall? Yah I saw that expression everyday for years. That hits hard.

Okay not trauma related but the doctor saying I remember it all everytime when we've been lead to believe he doesn't like talk about a hell. Talk about good story writing. I've never caught that before!!

The way the doctor looks so tired. Yah that's framilar too. Also the having to be strong as your body gives up you that sure was a thing too.

Okay but literally this episode is so good. I fucking love the doctors dying speech in this it's only one of my favorite episodes of tv ever. Which is in part of why losing it hit me so hard.

hey if the rooms revert how come the shovel has dirt on it and the clues stays and the clothes are drying?? Finally some good old plot holes.

Also where is the food coming from like???

Okay but the sequence of the Shephards boy says is fucking fire

I want to know how long each time lap is

....thinking about how the tardis was left alone for 4.5 billion years.

Okay no because I should have been able to trust the therapist and the doctor should have been able to trust the time dial!! They were tools meant to HELP HEAL TURNED INTO PAIN AND TRUAMA

[alvertesongdiary]

Megan Thee Stallion - HISS

I just want to kick this shit off by saying fuck y’all I don’t have to clear my name on a motherfuckin thang Everytime I get mentioned one of y’all bitch ass niggas get 24 hours of attention I’m finna get this shit off my chest to lay it to rest Let’s go

I feel like Mariah Carey got these niggas so obsessed my pussy so famous might get managed by Kris Jenner next he can’t move on can’t let it go he hooked nose full of that Tina snow and since niggas need Megan help to make money bitch come be my hoe all of you bitches is weak on the Bible talking shit from where no one can find you I could never be judged by a bitch that was dancing making R. Kelly go viral im sexy af and I’m freaky get who ever I want ini mini why the fuck would I stay with a nigga that’s weak In the sheets and don’t know how to please me bodies on bodies on bodies on bodies say he fucked Megan and now he the topic these niggas thinking they lowered the value all this free promo I’m turning a profit hate when a nigga be kissing and telling say he a playa but he in his feelings bet I won’t give up the pussy again shit should’ve gave it to his friend These hoes don’t be mad at Megan these hoes mad at Megan’s law I don’t really know what the problem is but I guarantee yall don’t want me to start bitch you a pussy never finna check me every chance you get bet yo weak ass won’t address me bitches swear the G but the G must stand for Goofy when the fuck did all the gangster niggas turn to groupies every body wanna kick it when you ain’t a threat these niggas don’t like me cause they know I’m on they neck

Y’all goofy ass hoes look so dumb every time y’all celebrate fake news, ha! Using my name for likes and views, I don’t give a fuck what y’all make trend, bitch I still win Ah!

Nigga ain’t you hear ? I ain’t scared of dick any man go against me I handle shit I’m the Teflon don in the court room they be throwing that dirt don’t shit stick all these lil rap niggas so fraud Xanax be they hardest bars these niggas hate on BBLS and be walking around with the same scars , real curvy no etching niggas fight to get in my section don’t speak on my body count is the dick ain’t worth coming back for seconds, cosplay gangsters fake ass accents posted in another nigga hood like a bad bitch ima big dog bitch can’t lil sis me hoes get views when they tryna diss me make one move gottem in a tizzy killing shit that’s why they tryna RIP me still going hard with the odds against me these niggas don’t have fans they bots these bitches don’t have ass they shots and they still tuned in if they fans or not allegations from the opposition bitch niggas just eating it up these blogs get paid to lie yall talk shit and be broke as fuck bottom line is I’m still rich do Megan bad and I’m still good bringing up who might’ve fucked and the bottom line is they still would I just wanna fuck my nigga In peace but all my old niggas still love me niggas ain’t hit this pussy in years damn I knew my shit was heat none of you niggas was wifey material none of you niggas was worth all the drama none of you niggas was hitting it raw and mad I’m not one of yo baby mamas always got my ass out always let my titties show when I’m in the gym I think about bitches that I’m shitting on I’m way too fucking cocky to take him back if he been cheating I can’t let none of you raggedy bitches think that yall my equal every since I claimed the summer all you bitches want a season ask a hoe why she don’t like me bet she can’t give you a reason you know motherfucking well these bitches wanna sound like Tina don’t you ever grab a mic and think that me and you competing

bad bitch and the walls ain’t bending post photo name, start trending why every time one of y’all z list goes do an interview I get mentioned? Ion give a fuck who think what you niggas is typing for nothing on the internet typing that shit to me write him a letter or something

Say bitch ass nigga don’t type me nothing else, don’t write me nothing else, download j pay since y’all niggas got so much to say or schedule a conjugal visit or something. Ha Ha! Dick riding ass niggas Ah!

07/02/2024

[arillusionist]

shadow and bone ep5 reaction its been 3 whole days since i watched this show 🤯🤯 also i started reading the s&b book!! its pretty good but obviously like the show its v predictable and definitely not on the level of the soc books

we starting off with the crows?? im being blessed omg 🥹🥹

LMAOO JESPER AND INEJ'S FACES WHEN THEY REALIZED THEY COULDNT BRING THEIR ICONIC WEAPONS

ketterdam mention (me when im insane)

also genya and alina have chemistry I CAN SEE IT theyre actually pretty cute

help not me saying this right before genyas crush comes in 💀💀 (well hes her crush in the books idk if they changed it)

oh my god alina looks so cool using her powers 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

ok yeah he definitely is her crush also not alina just rejecting the glove like that?? damn 😭

i cant take kaz seriously he looks so. stupid

honestly i kinda forgot the crows are literally trying to capture alina help

theyre giving jesper a temporary 2 second love interest because wylan isnt here

i feel so bad for inej why are they always doubting her 💔💔

i NEED some conflict in alina's plot like girl why are you always happy!!! wheres the angst!!!! 😐

IM CRYINF THEY WHITEWASHED ALINA 💀💀💀

"new guy" STOP ACTING LIKE HES ACTUALLY PART OF THE CREW BECAUSE HES NOT

he just wants him and inej to be together

everytime alina and the darkling are in the same room i feel so. ugh like GET AWAY FROM HERRR

STOP NO DONT KISS HIM 😭😭 they better reveal him as a villain fast because i cannot handle a love triangle

jesper is way out of that stable boy's league i mean cmon but his flirting is so funny

"shes suli" TELL THEM!!!!! 🔥🔥also finally zoyas here i missed her

"is it my size?" "you have to ask" STOP THEYRE LITERALLY MARRIED 😭😭 i love their banter sm im glad its not all angst

the way inej just walked away 💀💀 girl is not in the mood to listen to his blabbering

inej is so ready to prove kaz wrong

awwhjffjkg the look on inej's face 🥹🥹 i love her sm also she should punch kaz

...how long was jesper fucking that stable boy

need this old man to shut up

ughhh here comes the classic banter between the two love interests PLEASE REVEAL THE DARKLING IS A VILLAIN ALREADY 🙏🙏

yes yes i can feel the real plot finally coming

LMAO DUMBASS HE GOT THE WRONG GIRL.

i keep forgetting how fucking smart kaz is!! of course he would know there was a double

ok yes thank god he was planning to ditch that "new guy" he was annoying i didnt want him

not the darkling ruined the crows plan so he can make out with alina 💀💀

oh my god how long is the kiss scene

ok YES this is the reveal scene i have been!! waiting!! for this!!

YESSSSS 🔥 thank god i dont have to see anymore darklina makeout scenes

ok but if baghra is the darklings mother why does he keep her around?? wouldnt he know she can go around telling people his true intentions??

or maybe he doesnt know she knows his true intentions

idk tho he seems like the kind of person who would

lets be honest kaz looks so good when hes murdering people

OH MY GOD

SHE KILLED HIM??

SHE REFUSED TO KILL BUT SHE DID IT

IN A FUCKING CHURCH TOO

SHE DID IT IN A HEARTBEAT FOR KAZ 😭😭😭😭😭

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER???? LIKE SHES A SAINT OH MY GODDD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i love them so much oh my god

"you saved my life" HHDHHFGHKGHj

ALINA JUST CLIMBED INTO THE BACK JUST LIKE THAT??? HELPPP 💀💀

soo im assuming this is where it deviates from the books!! i better have time to watch the next episode tmrw