#ex snack

[mvnvgedmischief]

unremarkable days: Sirius black is trying to be a good man, a good brother, a good person. Sirius has a steady job designing book covers for a publishing house, a flat he never leaves, and a traumatized brother who was just removed from the custody of his parents. All in all, it's wildly unremarkable.

archive tags: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Severus Snape, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), ok so this is mostly just sirius trying to take care of a traumatized regulus, Modern AU, Sirius trying to be a father figure, to his brother who was just removed from his home, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Artist Sirius Black, Writer Remus Lupin, Young Regulus Black, Past Child Abuse, Trauma, everyone is sad, Custody Battle, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Past Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Domestic Violence

words: 68,843, chapters: 20/?, 

read it on ao3 here! 

i just dropped a new chapter so i’m putting out my promo post again!

[shrimpalbuspotter]

When someone asks who I ship Sirius with if I don't ship him with Remus but I can't tell what kind of fan they are and have to say "nobody I think he's fine on his own!" Instead of "I have been shipping him with Snape since I first read prisoner of azkaban"

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

Something which I just love about Steddie as a dynamic is they're the golden retriever/black cat dynamic on the surface but reversed underneath. Steve is the most ornery, bitchy golden retriever, and Eddie is like a sleek black cat with one brain cell who keeps getting the zoomies and running head first into the walls.

[dravenscroft]

I wonder what the sleeping arrangements were like in the mutineer camp.

Because obviously people had to share tents, partly for practicality as they'd have a limited number, and partly for warmth.

And at that point Hickey is so far gone with ~The Delusions~ that I'm just imagining their rest hours being like the worst fucking sleepover ever. Like those sleepovers where that one girl would NOT shut up talking at like 3AM when everyone else is DESPERATE to sleep?

I'm picturing Hickey lying there in between, like, Hodgson and Tozer like 'And THAT'S when I realised I'm a god---' and they're just on their backs staring up at the top of the tent, red-eyed, dying of scurvy and lead poisoning, like 'Please kill us or be quiet...'

If I was a better artist I'd draw this. Untapped tragicomedy potential.

(tbh this is all for laughs because I actually totally think that 1) Hickey would keep most of those thoughts to himself because to him they're not worthy of understanding his thought process, their job is to just go along and somehow trust his judgement and 2) I also totally believe Hickey would sleep alone, in his own tent, with his knife at the ready, because he doesn't fully trust any of them. MAYBE with Tozer or Manson there or on watch because they were the most 'loyal' of the lot? But even then I imagine Hickey running on barely ANY sleep.

But this was too amusing for me not to be picturing tbh)

[soniclozdplove]

Kinda fell into a small Trolls phase, had a cute au for Trolls 1 idea I thought people would like.

There's rumors around the village of a beautiful singer with the voice of an angel that sings only late at night when everyone else is asleep I their pods and nobody can hear them, and Poppy is desperate to figure out who this mystery singer is and tries to solve the mystery with the rest of the Snack Pack. When they finally catch sight of the mystery singer, it's the last troll they ever expected it to be.

Or the Branch never fully gave up music after turning gray and performs in secret when nobody else can hear him au

[sunsetsandsunshine]

If I may request a Rise fic!! I’m a huge sucker for comfort/cheer up tickles, so could you possibly write a disaster twins fic with Lee Leo and Ler Donnie where Leo’s been having a pretty bad day (because of what is your choice!) and ends up feeling self conscious about himself and stuff, so Donnie decides to cheer up his twin!! Please don’t feel rushed and make sure you’re taking care of yourself ^_^

~ 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜!!! ~

💜💙 𝙵𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: 𝙰𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 💜💙

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙼𝚂𝙺𝙽𝚂𝙽𝙺𝙼𝙳𝙽𝚂𝙹 𝙽𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙸𝙴 𝙾𝙷 𝙼𝚈 𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷 𝚈𝙾𝚄. 𝙶𝙴𝚃. 𝙼𝙴!!! 𝙶𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝙻𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝙹𝙰𝙼!!! 𝙴𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 ���𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚜…𝙶𝚘𝚍, 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑. 𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢..𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎…𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚒𝚗 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎??? 𝙻𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎!!!˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊·̩̩̥͙

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙷𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟺,𝟹𝟿𝟺

𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 🐢💙

𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 🐢💜

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙳𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍…𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚠, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?

(𝙰/𝙽: 𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚖𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚊 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝…𝙱𝚞𝚝 *𝙰𝙷𝙴𝙼* 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜:  @shut-up-jo @itzsana-kiddingmenow @aceofspades-doodles @ziipzeepzop-eez

@tmntheadforever123 @rice-cake-teen10 @aninabanina6969

@savemeafruitjuice @cedarrthefluffylee @saturnzskyzz @titters-and-tingles

@someone1348 @my-l0v3r-v3rse @snipersiniora @mistyandsnow

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙰𝚛𝚐𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚢𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔!!! 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚣𝚢…

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙷𝙴𝙴 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 🕺🏾✨💞🎶˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me again.” Leo grumbled under his breath as he rested his mouth on his palm, glancing away from his brother as he sighed loudly. 

“Well maybe if you weren’t so fucking reckless I wouldn’t need to.” Donnie growled lowly, glaring down at his twin.

“I’m not a baby, Don. I don’t need to be supervised like I’m some bomb triggered to explode.” The younger said in exasperation, lying down on his bed whilst grabbing a comic book to read off of his desk.

If Leo was going to be told off and scolded by his dear beloved brow-loving brother, he should at least have something to occupy himself with in the meanwhile. 

The softshell groaned eternally at his little brother’s action, quickly snatching the piece of literature out of the other’s hands and throwing it effortlessly to the ground. 

Uninterested lime green eyes locked with a determined yet fierce light golden, both of them refusing to look away or blink to show their dominance.

But after a while, the red eared slider grew more impatient, looking away again as he picked a hangnail on his thumb, “If you’re going to yell at me, can you just get it over with? I saw a reddit post predicting what’s going to happen in The Umbrella Academy season four and I need to read it.” 

“You can read that later, Nardo. I promise you, that reddit post isn’t going to fly away.” The elder said as he pinched the bridge of his snout, “What I need you to do right now is acknowledge what you did today was stupid, alright?” 

Leo looked away from his older brother, scoffing lightly, “I do stupid things all the time. What stupid action of mine are you wanting to scream at me for this time?” 

The softshell turtle took a couple deep breaths at that comment, drumming his fingers on his left arm in a soothing motion because he was NOT going to give into the urge of strangling his twin brother…

…No matter how much he deserved it.

“I’m not planning on screaming at you— that won’t help anyone or anything.” The purple banded turtle explained calmly…but you could see and tell he was starting to lose his paitence. 

“But you want to.” The red eared slider pressed on. 

“Leo…please. I don’t want to argue right now.” 

“We’re not arguing. We’re just kindly discussing my oh-so stupid descision that unfolded earlier today, right?” The younger twin smirked smugly, his eyes locking once again with his brother. 

When it came to arguments, the leader in blue always had this wonderful tactic to avoiding things: attempting to annoy the other person so much that they drop the subject they wanted to discuss with him completely.

It always worked with Raph…which the red eared slider didn’t know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

But the only downside of doing this tactic was his dumb twin saw right through it…

…And Leonardo despised it. 

“Nardo…you know what I’m referring to. And stop picking, please. Your going to hurt yourself.” The older attempted to say in a tranquil voice, but it personally just sounded like he was one second away from losing. his. shell.

“I sadly do not know what your referring to.” The blue cladded teen said coyly, picking on his hangnail more desperately now, “Care to enlighten me, Tello?” 

Donnie’s expression hardened ever so slightly at his younger brother’s absolute persistence on annoying him out of his right mind so he could eventually drop the subject…but the softshell turtle was not budging.

His twin would have to try way harder than that.

“I’d love to.” The light golden eyed mutant said in a fake sweet tone as he walked over to lean his shell on Leo’s closed door, crossing his arms in disaproval. The elder grabbed his brother’s sword, planting it right next to his foot so the blue banded turtle couldn’t reach for it. 

The red eared slider’s cocky grin turned to a small grimace (shake) as he soon came to terms with what his older brother was doing…

…He physically could not leave from this conversation…literally.

Leonardo crossed his arms, trying to mimick the other’s serious demeanor but was only met with an icy glare in return. 

“What you did during today’s mission was completley reckless and idiotic, Leonardo…and you know it.” The second oldest said, “I had that thug exactly where I wanted him but noooooo. Because you saw me trip you thought it would be a spectacular idea to throw yourself on top of me as that hooligan tried to hit me with his bat!!” Donatello seethed. 

“We’ve been over this multiple times, Leo! There was no reason for you to do that!” The light golden eyed teen yelled, his glare only hardening more as he saw the younger stuttering over his words to try to defend himself.

“I’m not done.” The taller teen growled, all of his calmness and collectiveness thrown completley out of the window.

The slider slightly flinched (which went un-noticed by the other) at his brother’s genuine angry tone, his left leg fidgeting and bouncing up and down like crazy. 

His tactic was really starting to not work in his favour at all…

“Just…stop putting yourself in the middle of danger like you’re just expecting the rest of us to just watch. We’re your family…and most importantly, we can defend ourselves just fine.” 

“Well ihisn’t that hypocritic!” Leonardo scoffed before creasing his eye ridges together in genuine confusion, mumbling to himself, “Hyp…uh…hypocrotic? Hyp…Hypocratic…?” 

“Hypocritical?” The older deadpanned.

“YES! THAT WORD!” Leo said, “When we were fighting Kraang Prime on the ship and he went to take a blow at Mikey…what did you do?”

Donatello scowled, his eyes not leaving his twin, “…I went in front of him and shielded him with my mystic tech.”

“Exactly.” The lime green eyed mutant scoffed, “And how is that any different from what I did, hm?”

“BECAUSE I HAD A PLAN!!!” Donatello shouted, “I planned to accordingly go in front of Mikey so my sheild could protect both him and me. Did it end up turning out perfect? Fuck no. Kraang Prime slashed right through it and me and Mikey went tumbling towards the ground…” The glasses wielding teen said through clenched teeth. 

The light golden eyed teen rubbed his face tiredly, his hands clenching and unclenching in frustration, “But I had a plan. You on the other hand, just zoomed recklessly on top of me and hoped for the best.”

“…I saved you, didn’t I…?” The younger twin mumbled out meekly, causing Donatello’s blood to absolutley boil. 

“That’s not the point!!!” The elder said as he clenched his hands at his sides again.

“Then what is?!” Leo said desperately, “Because from the looks of it, it just seems like you want to yell at me for just doing my job.” 

Leonardo pulled on his mask tails anxiously, trying to calm himself down but ultimately just making himself feel worse by doing the action, “I’ve been trying to be a better leader—“

“Leo—“

“—For you and Mikey and April and Raph and Casey and C.J. a-and Dad! But it seems like no matter what the hell I do there’s always something I’m doing WRONG!!!” The younger twin shouted, blinking back tears as he glared at the ground as if it took his Jupiter Jim comic.

Which…it did. The blue banded mutant wanted it back now, actually…

“I saved you! I-I didn’t even get hurt by doing it but somehow there’s an issue…” The lime green eyed teen murmured, both of his legs bouncing up and down as he tugged on his mask tails harder, “There always is…”

“Leonardo can you please just listen to me?” The older twin said in irritation. 

“But Don I’m—“

“No, Leo! Just listen! That’s all you need to do!” Donnie snapped as he cut his brother off, “I don’t want you leaping head first into harms way! At all! Especially if you don’t have a plan!” The softshell turtle exclaimed as he flapped his hands against the side of his thighs, but his eye contanct remaining on his little brother.

“Oho so now you don’t trust me well enough to know that I can handle myself in combat?” Leo said in a last desperate attempt to make his brother drop the conversation.

“I…” The young scientist’s eye twitched, his eyebrows creasing together as he had to physically restrain himself to not beat the ever living crap out of the other teen, “THIS IS NOT ABOUT TRUST, NARDO!” The light golden eyed mutant screamed desperately, his hands flapping faster as the red eared slider shrunk at his usage of tone, “This is about you not even thinking about what would happen to yourself when you do reckless nonsense like this.”

Leo glanced to the side, his eyes watering as he bit the inside of his cheek.

He just wanted to help and be the leader his brother’s deserved…

But he always found a way to fuck it up without even noticing, huh?

"You don't think about what could happen to you and I hate it!” The elder cried, “What would’ve happened if Raph didn’t come behind the guy and knocked him out cold at the last second, huh?! Would you have just stayed right on me as he continued to beat you with his bat?!”

Leonardo bit the inside of his cheek harder, his legs bouncing up and down more as his fingernails dug unforgivingly into his arms, “I-I’m sorry, Donnie—”

“Or would you have tried to fight him instead?! Mind you, you dropped your sword before coming to me so you’d have no weapon to defend yourself.” 

“You don't think about how much it scares me when you do dumb shit like that! I hate seeing you get hurt…I freaking loathe it.” Donnie rested the back of his head on Leo’s door, taking a couple deep breaths and hugging himself in an attempt to calm himself down.

Jeez…when the hell had he started yelling? His throat stung like a bitch now…

And when had he started shaking like a bobby head?!

The older twin’s expression softened, pinching the bridge of his snout once more, “I care about you…so fucking much, okay…?” The purple banded turtle said gently as he gradually started to simmer down and become more calm, “Your my twin…my little brother. And I hate to be repetitive but I-I just despise seeing you hurt…physically or emotionally…so please just…”

The young scientist’s eyes widened, peering down at his brother who did not seem to be following…at all. 

Leo’s eyes were wide as saucers as he hit his arm with his fist repeatedly whilst obviously trying to suck in whatever tears dared to try and escape. 

The taller turtle basically ran to his distressed twin, trying to stop him from harming himself any further but was only met with a low grunt.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Fucking shit. 

Wonderful job, Donatello! You yelled at your brother so much he shut down!

Even though you knew he can’t fucking stand being yelled at and the whole point of you even being here was to explain what he did wrong collectively and calmly because that was the exact oppositeof what Raph does when he’s worried…

But no! You yelled at him anyway.

Wonderful job, Donatello…wonderful. job. 

The older twin sighed sadly, gently grabbing his brother’s wrists so he would stop hitting himself. The two brother’s shared eye contact once again, an unsure lime green meeting an understanding yet uncertain light golden.

“Nardo…” The softshell started, squeezing the other’s hands gently, “…Are you with me, bud…?”

Leo just nodded quietly, squeezing back. 

“God…Nardo I’m so sorry…” The older muttered, “I don’t…I don’t know why the hell I lost my cool like that. I-I’m sorry I yelled. I shouldn’t of yelled…I-I just…” Donatello sighed, squeezing his brother’s hands once again. “I’m not angry with you. I…I was just frustrated.”

“Well, no…let me rephrase: I am angry with you— livid even. You know damn well enough that when you do those kinds of things my heart literally jumps out of my shell. I need you to put into consideration that I would like to live to at least seventy-seven…”

The younger twin giggled wetly, fidgeting with his brother’s fingers as he spoke, “…Why seventy-seven?”

“Albert Einstein died when he was seventy-six…I can and will outlive him.” The light golden eyed teen said matter-of-factly, “But back to what I was initially saying…I know you meant well. You saw that I was in trouble…and you dropped literally everything in order to help me get out of said trouble. You don’t think of what happens to you…you just do it because you’ll know if you do we’ll be alright…”

“I-I just…I just wanted to protect you…I-I just wanted to help…” Leo tried to explain.

“I know. I know, Lee…” Donatello sighed, rubbing the slider’s knuckles gently with his thumb, “But you need to understand that with you trying to protect us that way, your putting us in the same situation your trying to keep us away from.” The elder explained lightly, smiling softly as him and his twin’s forehead’s touched. 

“You’re getting hurt— or at the very least almost getting hurt. We’re feeling the same anguish and guilt you would feel if any of us did that. I get that you want to be a good leader and shit…but you can lead well without doing that…okay?” 

Leo fiddled with the other’s fingers a bit more, his bouncing leg starting to calm a bit, “I’ll…try to be more careful when it comes to me protecting you guys like that. When I see you all in trouble…I just…react. I don’t really care about what happens to me as long as you guys end up okay. But…I’ll try to be more careful. And if I ever end up, like, being a bit too reckless…you can just tell me…deal?”

“Deal.” Donnie nodded, squeezing Leo’s hands one last time before letting go, wiping his twin’s eyes with his hoodie sleeve, “Now please stop crying or you’re going to make me start crying.” 

Leo snorted, examining the other’s now tearing up expression, “I think it’s a bit too late for that…” 

“GAH! FUHUCK!” Donnie cursed, wiping his own eyes as the slider laughed loudly at his exclamation.

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.

.

“Leo…don’t you think you’re getting a bit too big for this…?” Donatello grumbled as Leonardo was on his lap, getting all nice and comfy as he rested his chin on the older’s shoulder. “Noooope.” Leo drawed out, making a dramatic popping noise at the end of the 'p', “'Sides, this is what you get for making me emo earlier.”

“…I said I was sorry…I didn’t mean to shout at you like that. I was just concerned…” 

“I know that, you worrywart. I was just kidding.” The lime green eyed teen said lovingly, squishing his brother into a tighter embrace. The older let out a short shriek at the hug but of course didn’t mind the other being so clingy. 

If the young scientist really and truly did mind? Leo would’ve been pushed to the floor by now. 

The two twins shared a comfortable silence…well…a semi-comfortable silence.

The purple banded teen felt…off. His younger brother had this…look in his eyes; like he wanted to say something but was afraid of what Donnie would say or how Donnie would react.

Which was so damn dumb Donatello didn’t even know how to explain it.

“…There’s something else on your mind.” The taller turtle hummed, his suspicions only rising as the other glanced to the side. “Uhm…no there isn’t. See? This is why I call you a worrywart.” Leonardo said, tapping his fingers on his thigh nervously. 

Very convincing Leo…very convincing.

“Don’t even try lying to me, Leon. My older brother and twin senses are tingling. You can’t argue against that kind of logic.” The scientist said matter-of-factly. 

“What are you, Spiderman?” The younger snorted. 

“We shall never know.” The older shrugged, a small smile spreading to his face as he saw the other snort softly at his statement, “Now stop deflecting. Spill.” 

“…Can you…adjust my elbow braces…?” The red eared slider muttered.

“…Why can’t you do it?” The other questioned. Not in a malicious way; he was just genuinely curious. 

“I like it when you do it. You make it more firm, y'know?” The blue banded turtle whined dramatically, “Pleeeeeease?”

“Ugh, Jesus— fine. But drop the pout…you look ridiculous.” The taller mutant sighed, lightly grabbing his brother’s arm as he readjusted the braces. 

The purple banded turtle meticulously took off the other’s left arm brace, tracing his twin’s elbow to make sure it was healing correctly— which the slider couldn’t help but wriggle slightly to.

As the older twin put the brace back on, he looked at the other turtle in complete worry, “…Why are you squirming around so much?” Donatello asked in confusion. 

“…No reason.” Leonardo stated, but let out a tiny squeak as Donnie lightly pinched his forearm. 

“Yohou okay…?” The glasses wielding mutant giggled.   

“I-I’m fihine!” The smaller turtle insisted, covering his mouth as he let out a loud shriek in result to his brother now lightly scribbling his forearm. “EEEEE! P-Plehease moohoove yohour hahahand!!” The younger sputtered out, hiding his face in the crook of the scientist’s neck which the older turtle couldn’t help but let his heart melt to.

“Oh.” Donatello hummed, biting back an amused laugh, “Sorry. Sometimes I forget how ticklish you are…”

“Snrt I-Ihihi’m nahat ticklish. I juhust don’t wahant your hand thehere…” 

And isn’t that quaint. 

If Donnie had a penny for every time Leo said he 'wasn’t ticklish', the softshell would be richer than Elon Musk.

“…Right. So…you wouldn’t mind me doing this then?” The young genius mused as he scribbled one hand over his twin’s ribs. “EEEEHEH! Duhuhude noHOH!! F-Fuhuck yohou!” The younger twin managed through his small giggles, pushing on his brother’s plastron to try and escape while he still could.

The elder laughed fondly at his little brother’s futile actions, hugging him closer as he lightly tickled him, “Nahardo! My brohohother in Christ gehet back here or you’re gohoing to fahall off of the bed!

“N-NOHO!! LEHET ME GO!” The lime green eyed teen screeched loudly, kicking his legs and pushing even harder on the other’s plastron, his eye’s widening in panic as his older brother casually lifted him up and pinned his arms above his head, his plastron now facing up on the bed.

Eugh boy…

Donnie grinned, sitting on the other’s thighs as he wiggled his unoccupied fingers in the air near the slider’s side, “That’s better~!”

“WAHAIT WAHAHAIT snrt PLEHEASE DEEHEE!!” The red eared slider cried, kicking his legs from underneath the scientist.

If he was going to go down…he would at least go down fighting. 

“I haven’t even touched you yet, you goof…” The older twin chuckled. 

“B-BUHUT YOHOUR GOHOHONNA!” 

“'Gonna' what, exactly?”

“TihiHICKLE ME!!” 

“Tickle you? Well, why didn’t you just say so in the first place?” Donatello snickered, using his free hand to skitter his fingers along the crook’s of the younger’s neck. 

The blue banded turtle squealed, shaking his head back in forth whilst scrunching his shoulders, “GAHaha— snrt EEEEHEEHEH oho cohome snrt OHAHAN!!” 

“What’s wrong, Leo? I thought you said you weren’t ticklish~?” The older teased.

“Snrt STHDHAHAH! Shuhut UP! IHI’M naHAT!” The younger shouted, tugging and pulling his arms to try and get his hand’s free from the other’s grasp. Donnie just laughed softly at the action, wiggling his fingers above his little brother’s stomach. 

The lime green eyed teen’s eyes widened in panic, thrashing in the hold to try and loosen his brother’s grip but the purple banded turtle did not budge even a smidge. 

Leo’s laughs became more giddy and loud as he continued to squirm, small squeals and snorts escaping his beak as his twin brother’s hand went sloooooowly to his stomach. 

“N-NOHO NONONONO DAHA— snrt DOHON!!” The smaller turtle snorted, hiding his face in the side of his arm which Donnie couldn’t help but giggle to. 

The light golden eyed mutant rested his hand on the slider’s plastron, making the younger turtle’s laugh raise almost a thousand octaves. 

“DOHON’T snrt DOHON’T DOHOHON’T snrt YOU DARE!! YOHOUR SOHO MEEHEEHEEAN!!” Leonardo whined, hiding deeper into his arm and becoming a giggly flustered mess.

The older twin shook his head fondly at his little brother’s embarrassed state, taking the opportunity to tickle the younger’s stomach while he wasn’t looking. 

Leo let out a loud scream, descending into high-pitched cackles as even louder snorts followed, “HAHAHAHELP!! IHI’M SNRT BEEHEEING SLAHAHAUTERED!!” 

“I’m quite literally only using one hand, Nardo. Stop being dramatic.” The light golden eyed teen mused whilst watching his brother snort and squirm, “And here I thought I was the dancer of the family. Look at you! You’re making up a whole dance routine right now!” He said as he let go of Leo, crossing his arms in amusement. 

“S-Shuhuhut snrt up…” The younger twin wheezed out, hugging his middles as he playfully glared at his purple loving brother. 

Then, a lightbulb went on in the scientist’s brain, a smug smile spreading to his face, “Hm…you know, Lee—”

“Dohont call snrt me thahat!” Leo giggly interupted. 

“Uh-huh. Well, Lee…did you know that the underarms are one of the warmest places on the human body?” The scientist said. 

The lime green eyed mutant cocked his head to the side in confusion, “Soho?” 

“Soooo my hands are cold. Very cold, in fact. I’d be forever in your debt if you could—”

“NO! NONOHO WAHAY IN HEHELL! G-GOHO AWAHAHAY!” Leo squealed, reaching for his brother’s wrists as the elder tried to tickle his neck once again.

Sigh…Leonardo made this too damn easy sometimes.

The glasses wielding teen wasn’t just going to miss this oh-so-definetly-not-planned opportunity! The softshell scribbled his fingers along the slider’s underarms, making the younger let out a loud squawk as he shot his arms down. 

“NAHAH AHAHAHA— snrt GEHET THEHE HEHELL OHAHA— snrt OHOHOUT!!” Leonardo cried while banging his heels on the bed. 

“What~?” Donnie hummed inocently. 

“GEHEHET AHA— snrt GEHET. OHOUT. OHOF THEHEHERE!”

“Awe…why~?”

“BEEHEECAUSE IHIT’S SOHO BAHAHAD!!!” 

“And?” Donnie chuckled, “That sounds like a you problem, little brother.” 

“AHHHAHA— snrt GAHAHAD FUHUCK YOHOU!!!”

“Pardon…what was that?” Donnie questioned as he pinched where Leo’s hip met his thigh. “N-NONO— snrt NAHAHAH!! I CAN’T— snrt PLEHEHEASE I’M snrt SORRY!! I-IHI TAHAHAKE IHIT BAHAHCK!!” 

“Nah…I think I’ll just stay riiiiight here for a bit…” The taller turtle smiled, using both of his hands now to tickle Leo into a laughing and snorting blob.

The younger weakly hit his big brother’s arms, throwing his head back as he squeezed his eyes completely shut. 

“…And you know what, Lee~?” 

“WHAHAHAT NOW?!” 

“I’m feeling…kind of famished.” The elder mused, his smile almost looking like the signature Joker’s as he saw his younger brother’s face pale. 

Leonardo scrambled to sit up, fighting with his brother’s arms as he giggly protested, “PLAHA— snrt PLAHAHEASE! PLEHEASE snrt D-DOHON’T!!” 

Donnie pinched his brother’s thighs unforgivingly, “You should have thought about that before yapping such ill nonsense about yourself.”

“WHAHA— snrt WHAHAHA— snrt WHAHAT DIHID snrt IHIHI snrt EVEN SAHAHAY?!” The lime green eyed turtle cackled, flapping his hands on the mattress. 

It took literally everything in the older twin not to coo his baby brother’s adorable actions; instead, he lightly moved Leo’s hands away, smiling evily as he lowered his head to the other’s plastron, “You don’t even know. Guess you really want this, huh~?” 

The blue banded teen kicked his knees into his brother’s shoulders and shell, throwing his head back in complete hysterics whilst waiting for him complete and utter demise. 

The softshell wasted no time blowing raspberries after raspberries in the middle of his younger’s stomach, making sure to move the other’s hands away any time he tried to push at the young genius’ head. 

Donnie didn’t feel like getting brain damage after all.

Plus, he had his signature glasses ᴅᴏɴᴀᴛᴇʟʟᴏ ᴛᴍ on! And those were trademarked…as you can wonderfully see. 

“God…can you get more ticklish?” Donatello giggled, squeezing and squishing the red eared slider’s knees with one hand and scribbling his sides with the other whilst contuinung to raspberry Leo’s stomach. 

“DEEHEE DEEHEEHEE SNRT PLEHEHEASE!!! IHI SNRT DAHAHAH— SNRT DAHA— SNRT DAHUNNO!!” The smaller turtle screamed, happy stimming with his arms on the taller twin’s shoulder.

Donnie couldn’t help but chuckle, deciding to show his twin a tad bit of mercy as he nibbled his stomach lightly. 

The slider let out bloody murder from his beak, happy tears threatening to fall from his eyes as his bubbly cackles and snorts bounced off the walls of his room.

“Jeez…I think Peppa Pig has some competition, huh~?” The light golden eyed mutant snickered.

“PLEHEHEASE!! TEHEHELLO SNRT IHI’M GOH— SNRT GOHOHA— AHAHA SNRT MYHYHY SNRTGAHAHAHAD!!!” The smaller teen pleaded.

“Do you promise to stop putting yourself in between danger and your family?” The older hummed. 

“YEHEHES!!” The younger cried loudly.

“Do you promise to go easier on yourself?” 

“YAHA— SNRT YAHA— SNRT YEHEHES!!!”

“Do you promise to accept your doing an amazing job as leader and we all love you—”

“MY SNRT FUHUHUCKING SNRT GAHAHAD!!! IHIHI SNRT GEHET IT!!” Leonardo shouted, his blush now completley blending into the red stripes on his face. 

The softshell turtle got off of the other, sitting next to his little brother as his little brother in question hugged his middles and giggled tiredly. 

“Y-Yohou could ohof juhuhust sahaid ahall of thahat wihihithout tickling meeheee…” The younger grumbled despite the evident smile on his face.

“And where’s the fun in that?” Donnie smiled back, his expression softening as Leo got up and leaned against him softly. The older wraped an arm around the younger’s shoulder, pulling him closer into a warm, protective gesture. 

“Ahand would yohohou look ahat that! Ihi got yohour emo bahad boy ahahass to smile todahay. Your eheeven hugging me~!” The blue banded leader spoke softly, his voice filled with affection as he poked his twin’s forehead cheekily. 

“You tell anyone that and I will not hesitate to deny that extremely untrue statement.” The scientist huffed, rolling his eyes fondly as his smile spread.

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ 

(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)

[shynetyme06]

Hi!!! PJ anon here!!! This is my Paperjam design!!!! Their name is Prim :) they're my silly little goofy goober

HIII OMG THEY’RE SO CUTE

I was originally planning to only do a sketch like the doodle on the right but I saw the ref, went 🤩 and needed to do more, so have this messily colored chibi as well ;3

[lurafita]

CEO!Magnus and personal chef/bodyguard!Alec

(There is every chance that I have posted this before, I just can't remember. I tried to search through my archive, but.... there is a lot of posts there, did you know? 🤣😂 Anyway, in case I'm making you read this twice, sorry. 😅)

Magnus being like this really big shot CEO who has meetings 24/7 and charity events and social appearances and all that other busy stuff going on. So he gets a personal chef to keep an eye on his nutrition. And Alec is ruthless when it comes to making sure Magnus eats healthy. Magnus: "You know I love your cooking, Darling, but how about a good old fashioned fast food break?" Alec: "All that grease is bad for you. Eat your carrots. You look pale. How much sleep did you get last night?" Magnus, innocently: "Enough?" Alec: "Unlikely. No more caffeine for you today."

Magnus trying to sneak all kinds of unheathy Snacks, and Alec foiling him at every turn. Magnus had an energy drink hidden away in his desk, but as he opens the drawer, there is a bottle of water with a note attatched with "stay hydrated".

Alec even convinced the close by Cafe to not serve Magnus anything with Caffeine, after Magnus' last doctors appointment showed high blood pressure.

Maybe Alec is some kind of ex-agent or ex-military, who got into cooking for an undercover op, but really enjoyed it and wanted to pursue it further when he quite the force.

When one of Alec’s old colluegues comes visiting him, Alec is crouching behind the entertainment system to find Magnus' latest snack hidey-hole. Alec: "He gets more creative every time. Some of the drug dealers we busted could have learned from him."

Bet you Magnus is the type of CEO who has a loyal Twitter following and he tweets about everything Alec cooks for him (and the things he doesn't let him eat.) The Internet already ships them.

Possible tweet: The_Magnificent_Bane: Thank you for the suggestion @randomfollower, but unfortunately Alexander didn’t go for the argument that carrot cake counts as a vegetable.

Why am I know picturing a fight in the kitchen where Alec uses kitchen utensils and food to knock out people who have come to kidnap Magnus

Imagine someone broke into Magnus' place, and the police are called and as they arrive Magnus is like: "Thank you for coming. My chef has already apprehended and restrained the perpetrators, and is waiting for you to take them off his hands in the living room." Police: "... Your cook apprehended them?" Magnus: "Yes. Sadly, the confrontation did not result in the death of that cursed celery he bought earlier."

Magnus: "Tomatoes can't be trusted, my darling. Are they a fruit? Are they a vegetable? No one knows." Alec: "They are fruits." Magnus: "That's what they want you to believe."

[matimatti]

So i finished tgcf this week

[oddballwriter]

I’m still thinking about love children for reader and different OI characters (specifically Nathan and Anselm sooo…

Wilhelmina Vogelweide (or Mina for short)

She’s definitely a Vogelweide let’s put it that way

Mina is a strange little girl. Not like creepy-little-girl, but she’s strange and vaguely unsettling to be around if you aren’t seasoned to being around her. Think Jane Doe from Ride the Cycle and Emily is Strange mixed together with a light pinch of Wednesday Addams

Anselm gave her a vintage porcelain doll when she was younger and now she carries it around everywhere. Her name is Gertrude, by the way. Mina doesn’t have that clingy separation-anxiety-like bond with Gertrude like most children do with their favorite toy, and will leave Gertrude if an occasion calls for it, and is very aware that she’s just a doll, but she still carries her around the mansion and estate and talks to her. She also doesn’t do the thing that kids do where they frame their thoughts and feelings as if it’s the toys. Ex. “Gertrude doesn’t like this.”. Instead she will sort of use Gertrude as a means to think over something. Ex. “Gertrude, do you think I should play outside even though it’s overcast today? *Looks at Gertrude in silence for a brief moment* You’re right. It might rain and these are my favorite dress shoes, and your curls will undo.”

However, if there’s a cohort of Anselm’s she doesn’t like then she’ll play the part of a creepy little girl for her own amusement. Anselm finds it amusing too and has even had some of the furniture in the mansion made with features where things look like they move on their own so that Mina can say “Gertrude thinks you should leave.”. It’s a bonding thing for them so you let it slide.

You do have some stuff that you’ve implored so that Mina has “normal” social skills. It’s not really anything too major. You just have it that she has playdates with a few kids from various cohorts and other such people that her and Anselm haven’t scared off yet so that she can develop her social skills and also play with kids her own age for a change. She can’t talk to Gertrude and “play with” more like bully Andre forever. And the staff of the house don’t like it when she follows them around while they’re trying to get stuff done.

She does pretty great. She shares, plays fair, and is nice to the other kids but she’s still Anselm’s little girl and you’ve noticed that she’s picked up a few of his (all be it kid-friendly and watered down) habits from what you’ve seen when she plays with her toys alone. Thankfully there’s never been an incident where someone got on Mina’s nerves.

She also has a few more unique interests than most children. Like her interest in diseases and various unsettling human body facts that feel vaguely threatening when she says them. But you just guess that the strangeness just runs in the family.

She does have an actual nanny, but she’s more of a “We’re going to be busy for a bit. Make sure she doesn’t do anything bad or gets herself hurt and keep her entertained till we’re done” along with the occasional overnight babysitting when you and Anselm head off somewhere.

Her nanny is a university student named Taylor who’s just trying to pay for her classes. She thought that being a nanny would be easy and perfectly normal. It is easy since Mina can mostly entertain herself and just needs supervision, but she’s seen some weird ass shit. But hey, at least she’s not the nanny to an irl Veruca Salt and now you and Anselm are contributors for her financial aid.

Athena Bateman

Surprisingly not a snooty little tech brat

Nathan definitely had a basic yet effective parenting strategy but is still very… him

You insisted that the AIs stayed away or had minimal involvement with raising Athena and Nathan begrudgingly agreed to it. He also agreed to move away from middle-of-nowhere, Alaska since you said that she won’t get any “proper” social skills by being there with only her parents and some robots. You had to fight him on that a little but thankfully he caved around her early toddler years just before her development called for interactions with other (real) people. The new house was still rural but as long as Athena was around people it was perfect regardless.

Nathan did program some nanny stuff into the AIs but other than that you and him are her caregivers and parental figures.

She had a good childhood. She had all the toys and things she could want, even inspiring a brief idea in Nathan of expanding BlueBook into having a branch in toys.

She definitely got Nathan’s smarts and skipped a few grades but she wasn’t as snooty about it as her dad is. Shes more like a “Isn’t that neat?” rather than thinking she’s above people

Athena does enter a phase when she becomes a preteen though. But instead of having a “I’m not like other kids” phase, she develops a “I want to be like other kids” phase. Nathan hates it because it’s so different from how he sees the world and carries himself but there is literally nothing he can do. And he hates that too.

Her phase consists of getting braces instead of an Invisalign when her teeth started getting a bit off because “normal kids have braces”, she also insisted that she redo her room to “be more like other kids” (with her own personal flair for course) because the way Nathan had it made from when she was a kid didn’t look right to her (she even called it “A different version of a sad beige house.” to Nathan’s face), and further more snuck into his office and reprogrammed the AIs to no longer have their nanny stuff and basically leave her alone because other kids don’t have AI robots just walking around in their house. She has a point in that and also Nathan was impressed with her work on taking that stuff out that he didn’t reinstall it.

It does cause them to fight a little. You eventually come in and talk with her about it and why she’s so adamant about it. It’s a bit sappy but you help her vocalize that it just makes her feel too different from the rest of her peers and that she genuinely feels weird about it rather than it being a issue with some form of bullying. She genuinely just wants to have a normal teenage life without being “The daughter of tech giant Nathan Bateman”. After that Nathan sort of respects her choices more and lets her develop her own identity with that.

She’s still a huge nerd like her dad though and that’s really sweet. She may have that idea that her dad is “the lamest person on the planet” like most kids do but they have their moments.

She’s definitely going places in her life and you and Nathan can see that and you’re both proud of her and will continue to support her. Even if she’s also developed her dad’s weirdness.

Just last week she programed and made a tiny robot whose only job is to grab her anything that she doesn’t feel like getting up and getting for herself.

It’s really funny. She’s named him Alfred Bot and you’ll be sitting in the kitchen and this tiny robot arm on wheels just rolls in, extends to grab a bag of chips from the counter and a can of soda from the fridge, and roll back into Athena’s room. Could she just ask one of Nathan’s to do that? Yes. Will she ever? No. Never. That’s his one job and she wants to keep it that way otherwise he has no purpose.

[mvnvgedmischief]

unremarkable days: Sirius black is trying to be a good man, a good brother, a good person. Sirius has a steady job designing book covers for a publishing house, a flat he never leaves, and a traumatized brother who was just removed from the custody of his parents. All in all, it's wildly unremarkable.

archive tags: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), ok so this is mostly just sirius trying to take care of a traumatized regulus, Modern AU, Sirius trying to be a father figure, to his brother who was just removed from his home, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Artist Sirius Black, Writer Remus Lupin, Young Regulus Black, Past Child Abuse, Trauma, everyone is sad, Custody Battle, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Past Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Domestic Violence

words: 93511 chapters: 25/?

this is kind of my baby in terms of fics i’ve written, i love it so much. it will probably end up around 30 chapters, but lord knows. artist!sirius x writer!remus in a modern take on a high society young adult recovering from his fall from grace while trying to hide his sexuality, take care of his brother, and fall in love. will his secret self destruction be the only thing that stands between him and the future he wants?

read it on ao3 here, full chap under the cut!

Sirius felt awful that Remus had to walk into this conversation. He didn’t enjoy that his life was going to shit in front of him, especially in front of Remus. Sirius was embarrassed. He was ashamed of himself, of his life, of everything. It felt like yesterday, Remus was digging around in his business, and trying to sus out whether or not to be embarrassed of his own past. But now here they were, Sirius’s chaos boiling over in a way that he wondered if Remus’s ever had. They had touched on it, of course. Throughout the nights in his bedroom, or out on the fire escape, and it was in the book. Sirius knew it was in the book, he read it cover to cover, but they didn’t discuss it much. Maybe it was out of fear, that if he asked Remus to open up he would have to. But right now, the acrid stench of failure filled his nostrils, and his face twisted into something between a grimace and a smirk as he turned his doorknob and entered the flat. 

“I’m sorry in advance.” 

“No need,” came the gentle reply from behind him. It felt like Remus’s voice was all Sirius needed to find the strength to open that door. He silently made his way back to his couch, leaving room for Remus to sit beside him. Thankfully, Remus had the sense not to sit too far from Sirius, lest he spontaneously burst into sobs and need someone to gather him up and remove him from the room. 

“What’s the plan, Sirius?” Sev asked, not even bothering to greet Remus. The tension between the three of them could be cut with a knife, and Sirius wondered just how much feeling out of place Remus would be willing to put up with. 

“I don’t know yet—“ Sirius began, only to be cut off. 

“Of course you don’t.” Severus spat, his tone cutting through Sirius to his core. He was failing Regulus yet again. Like he had all of those times he didn’t protect the boy, like he did when he left. 

“He’ll know after the intake,” Remus replied with ease, cutting into the conversation like an expert. “Hospitalizations, medical programs, and the like don’t run on our timeline no matter how much we want them to.” 

Sirius felt a short sigh fall between his lips, but it still caught him off guard. He didn’t expect to be making any noise, he just expected to be yelled at by Severus, glared at by Regulus, and get the occasional reassuring hand squeeze from Remus. He didn’t expect Remus to come in here like a knight in shining armor and advocate for him and his mental health. 

“They’re not going to tell Sirius all that much about anything. Sure, he’ll get hours, behavior expectations, treatment options, and the like. But the nitty-gritty details and such that you’re all going to want to know are not going to be conversations they have with him.” 

Sirius didn’t know that, which is really bothered him. He didn’t know there was going to be information that he wouldn’t get. He wanted to interrupt, but Remus gave him an easy smile. 

“They’ll tell you what you need to know, love. They’re just not going to bog you down with the logistics. That’ll probably go through James and to Regulus directly.” 

Sirius wondered if Remus could feel Sev’s glare, despite looking directly at Regulus. He never minded being on the other side of that glare, but he knew that Remus already felt uncomfortable around the man. He was sure this wasn’t making it any easier. Guilt was swallowing him up, and all he wanted was to sink into the floor. Sirius could feel himself getting nauseous. There was nothing he could do but sit here, nauseated and exhausted. He could hear them talking across him, discussing the details of what will happen and when Reg would go back to boarding if he will at all, and what their plan is for the next few weeks when Sirius will most likely be in a residential program. 

“I went to Orri today,” Sirius added but he felt like it was falling on deaf ears, “They said they’d take me in PHP if –” 

“What does our worst-case scenario look like?” Severus cut him off, pausing his glare for a moment to look at Sirius. 

“I guess–”  Sirius began, but Regulus piped up.

“ Worst case or absolutely catastrophic?” 

“Worst case,” Severus responded, “I know absolutely catastrophic is you going with them.” 

“Worst case is probably the council turning down both you and the Potters housing if Siri has to go somewhere.” 

“The council wouldn’t put you in the system if it would be too disruptive, they’re much more likely to approve both options before that because Sirius wouldn’t be gone that long anyways.” 

He hated being talked across like this, but contributing also made him so deeply uncomfortable. He felt like he was being strangled by this conversation, choking on his own shame. God, he wished he had just let himself disappear. He wished this wasn’t something he had to do. Couldn’t this all just end? Maybe he should have just disappeared. 

“Aye,” Sirius mumbled, after what felt like the longest stretch of time he could imagine. The way all three of them looked at him felt like they had forgotten he was even there. “If you all have a mind to keep talking like I’m not here,” He began, trying not to snap, “‘m going to bed.” 

“No, I–“ Remus began, while simultaneously Severus, on the other side of the room, groveled, “Please don’t–“ The two men bristled with jealousy, staring daggers at each other. 

Regulus broke up the tension between the group, which made Sirius feel so desperately guilty. “Grand frère, ne pars pas.” He whimpered. Those words rang through his mind like a bell, ricocheting between his ears. Big brother, don’t go. They’ve been here before. Not like this, of course, but they had been at this crossroads before. He knew this was different, but it didn’t feel different. It felt exactly the same as it had when Regulus stared up at him with glassy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, having heard the argument between Sirius and his parents. He saw the bright red marks on Sirius’s cheeks, marking where he had been disciplined for his ‘disrespect.’  Regulus watched him angrily pack a small rucksack full of his most prized possessions, and begged him not to go. Sirius never had any intention of leaving Regulus behind there, but he didn’t have an option. There was no going back from that fight. He barely remembered that fight. He felt like he blacked most of it out. The only thing he remembered was his mother throwing his school bag out into the snow, and screaming that she wouldn’t have that behavior in her house . 

Sirius took a deep breath, steeling himself against his own catastrophic feelings, and nodded. If Reggie wanted him, he wasn’t going anywhere. He couldn’t leave again. He was already being punished, drowning in guilt, over leaving the first time. That had been over five years ago, and he was still doing penance for it. He knew it was too much, that he felt too deeply, and he only ever wanted to show Regulus how much he cared. He should know better, but the grip he had on his demeanor was slipping. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes, but he needed to calm down. He couldn’t cry again, Regulus couldn’t handle it. He knew Regulus was so fragile right now. His own breakdown would be Regulus’s undoing and he knew it. Regulus was always sensitive to how Sirius was feeling, always influenced by it, just like he was influenced by everyone at their old house in Islington. On top of that, Regulus was already so fragile. He was already so scared, and Sirius desperately didn’t want to scare him anymore. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Reggie,” He replied, looking at his younger brother, eyes full of fear and understanding. “Even if I have to go to a res program, I’m not leaving you. I’m going to come home. I’m going to be okay.” Sirius had never wanted anything more than he wanted them all to believe him. He was going to be better than this, he needed to for Reggie’s sake. Even if he needed to drive himself into the ground to feel better, he was going to make sure he was giving Regulus the best chance he could, even though he thought everyone was a better candidate to raise his brother than he was. 

“He doesn’t have an option.”  Severus grumbled, but his tone was gentle. It was so obvious to Sirius that they were closer than he ever really knew. He knew that they had been close, of course, but he was starting to understand that the relationship went much deeper than he expected. Sirius would never tell Regulus he couldn’t have the other man around, but he wasn’t entirely sure what it would help other than just having an adult “in his corner.”

The smarmy git looked over at him with a wry grin, and Sirius tried his best to mirror it on his own face. That being said, it fell apart before it crossed his face. God, he wished this would end. He could feel Remus bristle even if his eyes were locked on Regulus and Severus. Sirius couldn’t help but wonder if Remus was feeling jealous. It wasn’t like it mattered, neither Sirius nor Remus were the most central fixtures in this conversation. For as much as he was the cause of all of this, and it was all about what he had been doing, but this needed to be about Regulus. Sirius couldn’t help it, honestly. He wouldn’t be able to handle being even more in the center of this conversation. He felt like he was under a microscope, and his skin was burning from observation. 

“When will we know when you’re going to be in hospital?” Severus asked, eyebrow raised. 

“I have an intake assessment on Monday morning…” Sirius mumbled in response, “Won’t know anything until after it.” 

“So we just have to wait until Monday? Nothing until then?” 

“Aye,” Sirius mumbled, “Reg I should be here when you get home to chat about everything that happens.” 

“So he’s just supposed to go to school? Pretend everything is fine when it so clearly is not?” Severus asked, his voice raising with irritation. “That’s ridiculous Sirius! How is he supposed to cope with this?: 

“I don’t–“ Sirius tried to respond, but his voice died in his throat. 

“Of course not.” Severus grumbled, “Because you never do.” 

“Sev I’m–“ Sirius tried, but he didn’t know what to say. He knew that he didn’t have the answers that either Regulus or Severus wanted. All he had were apologies, mixed in with his self-loathing. 

Remus could feel that Sirius was fading, and fast. The man was losing his nerve to sit here, and Remus couldn’t really blame him. This was all so intense, and he didn’t want to continue to contribute to it. Sirius looked so exhausted, and it was so familiar to him. For a long time, Remus had been sitting in that position, feeling the magnifying glass over him, and feeling like his health was burdening everyone else. His emotional state, the trauma of it all, could be so heavy for a group of people, and he could read on Sirius’s face just how heavy he felt like this all was. He knew the weight of other people’s concerns could be suffocating.  He took a look over at the clock, and then back to the group. He would’ve suggested taking a moment to rest, to pivot away from this particular conversation, but he didn’t have a chance. Before he could say anything, Sirius was standing up and mumbling something about needing a moment. 

Sirius practically ran off to the washroom. He locked the door behind him and slid down to the cool tile floor. He needed it to reset him, to remind him that he was here and that he was safe. He pulled his boney knees to his chest, to sob into them. His mind raced with fears about where this journey would take him, what would happen to his relationship with Regulus, and whether Remus would still want him when it was over. Why couldn’t this be easier? Does it really have to be so difficult? All he wanted was to be nothing and he wished he could just disappear. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been lost in his own mind, but when a knock reverberated through the door Sirius jumped instinctively. “What?” He groaned, his voice sounding hoarse from his sobs. “Regulus wants to go see some of his mates, and I’m going to go to the lab to get some work done. I’ll give you a ring later.” 

“Cheers,” Sirius choked out in reply. 

“You alright, mate?” Severus called, from beyond the door. Sirius choked back a humorless laugh, trying desperately not to seem short or irritated. It was so deeply upsetting to him that he couldn’t calm himself down. All he wanted was to just be normal, to be unremarkable. He didn’t want to be someone with all of this complex trauma, or all of these catastrophic feelings. He desperately wanted to just be. If only that were as simple as he wanted. His desperation seeped out of his pores, wanting for nothing more than peace. 

“Alright,” He replied, keeping his tone as even as possible. He tried to maintain some level of calmness, listening as the two walked out of the door. It was then that he left the washroom. He knew he shouldn’t have hid from their conversation, but it was all too much. It all felt so overwhelming and frustrating, he just needed to get away from everyone. Ordinarily this was when he would run out to the fire escape for a cigarette, but he could’ve been chased there. He didn’t want to be cornered out in his safe space. So much of his life and his coping had changed in the last year, and he couldn’t handle offering up another one of his treasured spaces for others to push his boundaries in. 

Time was muddying together for so long, Sirius wasn’t sure how long he sat on that floor before Remus knocked on the door. 

“Love,” Remus called from the other side of the heavy oak door. Sirius felt himself shudder, even though he was trying desperately to calm down. “Why don’t you come out and lay down? I’m sure you’re exhausted.” 

“Just go home, Re.” Sirius mumbled, forehead pressed against the tile of his bathroom. God, Sirius, just calm down! He needed to get himself together. He couldn’t be any more of a trainwreck, but all he wanted was to be normal. He wanted to be what Remus needed and what Regulus needed, but all he could do was fall apart. It was so nauseating to him that everyone was holding onto him with kid gloves. He knew he was such a drain on the people around him, he knew they were all so worried about him. 

“Please,” Came the reply from the other side of the door. It made Sirius want to fall apart. The guilt was going to eat him alive. He didn’t know how to handle any of this well. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, panic rising in his throat. “I can’t do this.” 

“You’re not doing it alone.” Remus was desperate to get Sirius out of that bathroom, but it was beyond any hope. Sirius wasn’t coming out any time soon. It was obvious to Severus and Regulus, that was why they left. Sirius was used to things like this, people leaving when his mind became overwhelming and catastrophic. That was one of the biggest reasons Severus was angry with him in the first place. Regulus needed an adult to be able to deal with the things in his life between helping with homework, making sure there was someone to sign off on things for school, and generalized stability. It was unfair to Severus that he was in this position so frequently, Sirius couldn’t help the way guilt spilled out of him. 

“I’m not worth dealing with like this.” Sirius’s voice carried the guilt and fear he was feeling. It was so raw and vulnerable. 

“You’re always worth dealing with.” Remus responded, but Sirius could hear the defeat in his voice. Maybe Remus would finally figure out that there was no hope here, Sirius wouldn’t be exiting the bathroom any time soon. His voice fell on deaf ears, because the only thing Sirius could hear was the rushing of his blood in his ears, and his rising heart beat. 

Sirius was struggling to keep himself rooted in this reality, instead finding himself teetering between the white subway tile of his own bathroom and the dark italian marble of the bathroom in his childhood home. He could hear his mother’s voice ringing in his ears. It was always soft at first, feigning understanding. 

“Sirius, you have to come out of there. Your father and I won’t be mad. Just tell us what happened.” 

The anger wouldn’t come until later. It was always simmering just beyond the veil of her composure. She always knew what he had done wrong, whether it be failing a test or losing a footie game, cutting school or a dance class, kissing someone of the wrong pedigree. All of them were punishable offenses by his mother’s standards. He remembered the last time before he was kicked out, sitting in that same panic of knowing she knew he had done something wrong. 

“Sirius I won’t put up with this foolishness much longer. Come out here and face the consequences of your actions.” 

He had tried to appease her in his youth, coming out the first time he was asked. But he felt the strike of her ring all the same, and eventually he hoped to put off the inevitable. He knew negotiation was a forgone conclusion, but sometimes he was lucky enough that someone would find the doorbell or otherwise distract from his impending doom. He didn’t have the same luck as far as his father was concerned. 

“Your mother coddles you too much. Get out here and face me like a man.” 

There was no world on which he got away with things. Sure, when his parents didn’t find out all was fine. But his parents found out about so much they didn’t want him to do and Sirius had to face the consequences of it. When he was still trying to protect Regulus, before he had been thrown out, he had tried desperately to keep the peace on the boy’s good days, and time his chaos with Regulus’s fits. He remembered being locked within that home so vibrantly, like it was an experience he would never be able to move on from. Even that last time, he had hoped things would be okay for Regulus. Once he knew he had been found out, caught out by a love letter from a bygone school mate hidden beneath his floor boards, he had tried desperately to protect Regulus. He didn’t know if Regulus ever understood him, but he had tried desperately. He had it out with his parents in separate rooms, in cars, anywhere Regulus wasn’t. There were harsh whispers, open handed smack, and screaming matches in the car, but he tried desperately to avoid it happening in front of Regulus. Someday, he hoped, they’d be able to talk about things and finally sort everything out. But right now he was here, sitting on the tile floor of his bathroom and remembering the needless luxury of the black marble beneath him and the crystal furnishings. When would it end? When would the sound of his father’s controlled anger stop inducing vomiting?

“You shame your namesake.” A cruel pause, “if you don’t come out of there in the next sixty seconds, count yourself lucky if I allow you to sleep in the cellar.” 

There was never a real sixty seconds. There was no grace period. He could have left the bathroom when his mother knocked the first time or well after his father knocked the last, and he would still be sleeping in the cellar. He would still feel the cool metal of his father’s rings marring his skin. He would hear the click of the lock and find himself in the cold loneliness of his fall from grace. He knew he would never feel anything but the ire of his parents once they found out. He spent so much time hating them, blaming them. He used to blame them for making him this way, for putting him in dance and making him walk softly, for teaching him to be discerning about his clothing and his hair, for never allowing him to get dirty with other kids. He blamed them for the way he felt when he thought about a cute boy in his class, or the way his heart skipped a beat when Severus yelled at him. It took him a long time to be comfortable with the way it felt to kiss another boy, and the way he felt confident walking into a gay bar. 

It was all different now, with Regulus at home. Every day he felt the corners of his peripheral vision blurring the line between his flat and the loveless luxury of his childhood home. He could practically hear the clicking of the keys his mother kept in the drawer next to the stove. Her perfectly manicured nails would parse through the drawer, finding the key to the bathroom with expert precision. 

The panic of his memories was bubbling up within him, and he knew it was going to explode. Knees clashed against the hard, cool tiles of the bathroom floor as he made his way over to the toilet, as the acrid, rotted contents of his past spilled out into the toilet. He wasn’t sure anymore whether or not his hands found the back of his throat or if the vile poison of his childhood burned through him all on its own. The frustration he felt while staring at the porcelain and begging the universe or god, or anyone who would listen, to just give him a fucking break. 

“Siri,” Chimed the warm voice from the other side of the door. It made Sirius so irrationally angry to be treated this well. He just wanted to be nothing. He wanted to be no one. He wanted to be an apparition. 

“Why are you still here, Remus?” He asked, his tone pointed with his frustration. He wished he could be kind, like Remus. He wished he could be understanding and sweet, all soft tones and light whispers, but Sirius wasn’t like that at all. He was all sharp tongued bitterness, cruelty and fear. He was so desperately lost, wishing and begging for just some understanding, and not knowing how to handle it. If he had been just a bit less damaged, if he had only had a few less times in the cellar, if he hadn’t taken a standard discipling and turned it into a fist fight, if he had bit his tongue that last time before he left, maybe gentleness would be something Sirius understood. But he had, and he couldn’t change it, so Remus’s kindness felt cumbersome. It was like fitting a square peg in a round hole, and the only thing that he could do was deflect. 

This distress was familiar to Remus, if not odd. It was so weird to him to be on this side of the door. If Sirius was not so paranoid, he may have asked Lily about how to be supportive on the other side of the equation. However, that wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. Not when Sirius was so fragile. There was jealousy that pulled at his heart strings, hating that Sirius clearly trusted Severus implicitly, and had been making him jump through hoops over the last few months in order to gain the other man’s trust. It felt unfair that he couldn’t just be someone who Sirius trusted implicitly. He knew that was unfair way to portray both men in that way, considering he had know understanding of what their relationship actually was. But Remus wanted Sirius. He wanted to be the person Sirius called whenever something went wrong, he wanted Sirius to rely on him standing on the other side of the door. He wanted Sirius to kiss him in the middle of the street, to take him out on dates, to want him. It burned him up in side and he wished he could do something about it. He wished he could charge into the bathroom, pull Sirius into his arms, and comfort him through this. However, he was locked on the other side of the door, being shooed away. 

“I’m not leaving.” Remus responded, his resolve seeping through the door. Sirius could feel it. But he needed to be alone, he needed Remus to leave. He could feel the fog of his mind whirring, forcing his thoughts to ring loudly through his ears. His heart was thrumming in his chest, building fear and chaos within him. He was going to binge. 

“That’s desperate.” Sirius’s words were cutting, mean, and unhinged. He loved Remus, despite himself. He wanted remus desperately. It was more of projection than anything else, but he needed to be alone. “Go home. I don’t WANT you.” 

He wished so desperately that he didn’t have to do this. He needed Remus to go, and if that required Sirius to needle at him, to make him feel small, that was what he would do. 

“You can’t– you don’t–” Remus stammered, his voice tightening. God, it made Sirius’s chest hurt. 

“Just go,” Sirius replied, his voice thick with desperation. Maybe a change in tactics would help, “please– I just need you to go.”  The panic was rising again. He needed to be alone so desperately.

“Can you call me later?” The tightness in Remus’s voice hadn’t dissipated, and Sirius felt so guilty for being so mean. He couldn’t help it. He needed to be alone. 

“Yeah,” Sirius whimpered, trying desperately to keep himself from getting overwhelmed all over again. Just get through this Sirius. Just get him out. Just make it to the kitchen. Is the white bread moldy? Does it matter? 

When he heard the click of the door closing behind Remus, Sirius is practically running out of the bathroom. His feet carry him to the kitchen, snagging a bag of sliced white bread that he’s had for far too long and rushing off to his bedroom. He’s a mess, and he knows it. Within minutes, he’s tearing open the bag, spending minimal time throwing aside anything that looked like it had gone bad. He chewed through the slices with voracity, tears streaming down his face once more. He felt pathetic and disgusting. How was he ever going to make it through this? His assessment with Orri didn’t go as well as he had hoped. They recommended he seek a higher level of care. They supposedly didn’t feel confident in their ability to accommodate what he needed at this time. How was he going to handle it? He knew he was going to end up in one of those two reserved beds at Vincent Square once again. He also knew that the idea of going to Orri was starting to feel like nothing more than a pipe dream because they didn’t accommodate anyone on an inpatient basis. He could do Vincent Square. He knew he could. He had done it before. Theoretically, maybe he could manage to handle this. He knew that on Monday they could discuss the need for him to attend his family Christmas, and to take care of Regulus through the process. It was a long shot for him to believe Vincent wouldn’t recommend res. He wasn’t weight restored (he bristled at the thought and the pride that erupted within him), he wasn’t seeing his therapist, and he wasn’t even able to make it through a night of sleep anymore. Had he taken his Seroquel today? Had he taken his Lexapro? Why couldn’t he remember? 

When he made it through the package of semi-moldy bread, he was overwhelmed by his disgust. Once again, his feet carried him to the cool white subway time, his knees crashed on the ground at the same time he started retching. Why couldn’t this be easier? Why did it have to be so hard?

When he was done retching, he pulled himself off of the floor, to rinse out his mouth and splash water on his face. He needed to get himself together. If they were going to do this to him, fuck it. He might as well go all in. He might as well lose himself. Perhaps that was what forced him into his trainers and his running clothes, to run himself ragged. For an onlooker, it was unremarkable, but if anyone in his life had seen him, they would have been horrified. Maybe Sirius was a monster. Maybe Regulus was right, maybe he couldn’t starve out his cruelty, but by God, he would try.

[exvangelical]

while everyone has the right to raise their child with the ethics they so desire, i do think it’s hilarious when xtians INSIST they aren’t indoctrinating or brainwashing their kids but also refuse to put them in public school (or even private xtian school), only socialize them within xtian circles like youth group or their church’s homeschool co-op, and rigorously vet any secular media so their kids doesn’t “reject the faith.” like uh. if your faith is so weak you have to hide your kids away from anybody on the outside so they never even think to question it…….. it doesn’t exactly sound legit

[tea-time-terrier]

New roommates? 👀

So many little critters! Pichael and I are moving in with a friend and their cats and dog. It'll be a crash course on how to exist with cats (a thing neither pickle or I have done) so wish us luck!

[souenkun]

Thinking about how aoki oji-chan is the only one who offered to get food with poppy after they won 🥺🤲

[kojiarakiartworks]

June 2012 KTM Kathmandu  Nepal Patan

© KOJI ARAKI Art Works

Daily life and every small thing is the gate to the universe ：）

[aldieb]

well ok there was 1 good chapter. which is so much better than the 0 good chapters i expected. i can grow something out of this little seedling (which of course was from the pov of alesa being super dissociated bc i have a particular set of skills). i just need to get lesbianer with it and fully bow to self-indulgence by doing second person perspective (which will help with the previous item) with a lot of stream of consciousness poetic bs. it can be done!