#ex-terrestrial

[amaris-unhinged]

KISS 🗣️

ME 🗣️

KI-KI-KISS ME 🗣️

INFECT ME WITH YOUR LOVIN’ 😩

FILL ME WITH YOUR POISON 😩

[distinguished-rave-moth]

Just imagine you're an ex companion of the doctor, it's taken you a while to readjust to normality but you finally have. You're in the shops and you hear "dONNAAAAAAAA". You duck behind your trolley, ready for whatever extra terrestrial threat lies waiting. Only for the voice to be followed with "do we need full fat or semi skimmed milk?"

You have just met domesticated 14

[platonicaxaxe]

Bad Blood: The Parallel

Bob Reynolds (sentry) x Ex Assassin Reader

Click

The sky cracked with blinding bursts of power as The Sentry and the exiled Asgardian collided midair, golden light clashing with dark celestial energy. Their blows echoed like thunder across the battlefield, shaking the ground below where chaos reigned.

On land, Alexei, Yelena, Bucky, John Walker, and Ava Starr were locked in a desperate fight against a fleet of extra-terrestrial mercenaries, who had descended with one goal: steal the Magical Orb of Celestara, said to hold unimaginable power.

Yelena’s voice burst through the coms, sharp and urgent.

“Walker! They've got the orb!”

Every Avenger(z) heard it.

The lead alien, a tall obsidian-scaled brute with glowing blue eyes, activated his gravity boots and began ascending to the ship hovering above, the orb clutched to his chest.

But before he could reach safety, a blur of white launched from the shadows.

A woman—clad in a modified White Widow suit—flipped over the alien mid-air, landing on the ship’s hull with surgical precision. Y/N Y/L/N. Deathtrap. Back in action.

She slipped into the ship through its open hatch just as it began to close. Inside, alarms blared. Red lights flashed across the metallic corridors. Y/N ducked a plasma blade aimed at her throat, spun on her heel, and jammed her elbow into the alien’s side. The brute roared, swinging wildly.

Y/N rolled over a console, grabbed a loose cable, and wrapped it around the alien’s neck. He tossed her against a wall, but she flipped off it like a panther, landing a clean kick to his jaw. They grappled, each move clean, calculated—Red Room precision against brute alien force.

Outside, the Asgardian who had been brawling with Sentry glanced skyward. His golden eyes widened—his ship was ascending.

He smirked. The orb is mine.

The Sentry blasted toward him again, but the Asgardian dodged with a burst of cosmic light, tearing through space as a black hole began forming nearby—its pull threatening to consume everything.

Back on the ship, Y/N disarmed the alien, grabbed a blade from her thigh sheath, and drove it clean into his neck. He gurgled, slumped, dead. She yanked the orb from his body, secured it in her tactical bag, and pulled out a small device.

A high-frequency plasma bomb.

She activated it. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Then she ran—hard.

She dove through the hatch just as the ship exploded in a violent blaze, sucked into the growing black hole. Y/N was caught in the vacuum, her body hurtling downward in free fall. She twisted mid-air, but the gravitational pull was merciless.

Her heart pounded. This is it.

And then—arms like steel wrapped around her mid-air.

Golden light enveloped her as The Sentry caught her, stabilizing their descent with effortless grace.

“Ahh—” Y/N gasped, gripping his neck, face pressed into his shoulder, her eyes fluttering shut.

“I got you,” Robert said, his voice low, gentle.

As they landed on the crumbling battlefield, with dust and smoke still lingering, Yelena was the first to rush over.

Bob set Y/N down gently. Her knees wobbled, and she murmured a soft, “Thanks…”

Bob smiled, eyes dazed, his expression utterly lovestruck.

Yelena’s face lit up in shock and warmth. “Y/N… it’s been a while,” she breathed, before pulling her into a hug.

They held each other tight, two shadows of the Red Room finding peace, even just for a moment.

Without a word, Y/N unzipped her tactical bag and handed Yelena the glowing orb, now stable and secured.

“Here. Keep it safe.”

Yelena nodded, taking it carefully.

Y/N looked between her and Bob. Her voice dropped to a whisper.

“Mind keeping me discreet from the public?”

Yelena smiled knowingly. “Of course.”

Bob looked like he wanted to say more. Stay. Don’t go. Let me come with you.

But before he could speak, Y/N turned, her white suit blending into the haze, and slipped into the shadows. One moment she was there—the next, gone.

Bob stood frozen.

Yelena watched him, then placed a hand on his arm.

“She saved the world today, you know.”

But Bob wasn’t listening.

He was staring at the spot where Y/N vanished, his chest rising and falling… heart aching, soul caught between light and shadow.

Smoke still hung in the air, the battlefield eerily quiet now save for distant sirens and the crackle of dying embers. Yelena took one last glance around, then stepped closer to Bob, lowering her voice to a near whisper.

“Bob, we can’t tell anyone about her. I mean anyone.”

Bob blinked, still dazed from the weight of her in his arms and the way she disappeared like a ghost in the wind.

“Even the others—?” he started, eyes flicking toward where their teammates were helping civilians.

Yelena cut him off immediately.

“No. If anyone finds out where she is, her entire cover is blown. It’ll ruin everything. She can’t afford that. Not now.”

Her voice trembled slightly, but her eyes were solid steel.

Bob stared at her for a long moment. Then slowly, reluctantly, he nodded.

“…Okay.”

There was silence between them before Bob cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“W-who is she, by the way?” he asked, voice low and uncertain. “I mean—what’s her name?”

Yelena gave a dry chuckle, crossing her arms.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” Her tone softened. “I grew up with her. In the Red Room. She was better than most of us… and more dangerous.”

Bob’s jaw tensed. The name sounded like fire and silk on his tongue.

Before anything more could be said, the others approached—Bucky, Ava, John Walker, and Alexei—their faces worn and grimy from the skirmish but glowing with purpose after saving hundreds of lives.

“Status?” Bucky asked, still scanning the area for threats.

Yelena didn’t miss a beat. She held out the satchel.

“Orb secured. No damage.”

Bucky took it, nodding in approval. “Nice work.”

No one questioned it. Everyone assumed Yelena had been the one to retrieve the orb from the collapsing ship.

And she let them believe it.

Bob stayed quiet, his lips pressed tightly, eyes distant.

Weeks Later

The world couldn’t stop talking.

News channels, social media, and every major outlet flooded the airwaves with headlines like:

“New Avengerz Save World From Cosmic Catastrophe”

“Orb of Celestara Secured in Unprecedented Team Effort”

“The Sentry: Earth’s Golden Guardian Shines Again”

Camera flashes and applause filled every press conference. Public celebrations erupted across major cities. Murals of the Avengerz were painted on buildings. Memorials were held for fallen civilians and soldiers.

But behind all the lights and glory, Bob Reynolds sat alone in the Avengerz Tower—in his dimly lit room, untouched food on the table, the low hum of a news broadcast playing in the background.

He wasn’t watching.

He was staring at a photo tucked inside a drawer, taken months ago—blurry, taken by accident, but her face was there. Y/N. Her eyes had been laughing, her hand tangled in his hair.

He exhaled shakily, resting his forehead on the frame.

Where are you now, Deathtrap?

He could still feel her fingers clutching his shoulder mid-air, could still hear her soft “thank you” before she vanished into smoke and silence.

In the mirror, his golden eyes flickered dimly.

And for the first time in a long time…

He wished he could forget the weight of saving the world.

Because the one thing he wanted to save had already slipped through his fingers.

Madripoor shimmered under neon haze, glowing like a dangerous promise. The city of shadows buzzed with life—criminals, mercenaries, syndicate leaders, and bounty hunters prowling the streets like wolves. There was no place for flashy entrances or shining gold capes here. That’s why Robert Reynolds, known as The Sentry, walked among them as just… Robert.

He moved silently through the crowded alleyways, head low, hoodie drawn up, eyes scanning the flickering signs of bars and clubs. The mission was simple—find the missing twin orbs. But this was Madripoor. Nothing came easy here.

Inside a dingy bar pulsing with bass and smoke, Robert slid into a seat. The bartender, a man with a scar splitting through his eyebrow, eyed him curiously.

“What’s a pretty boy doin’ in Madripoor?” the bartender asked while wiping a glass.

“Letting things out,” Bob rasped, keeping his tone low and unreadable.

“Never seen you here before.”

“Yeah,” he replied simply, glancing around before leaning in. “I’m looking for something. Twin orbs. Heard they might be here.”

The bartender paused, a flicker of interest in his eyes. “Ah… the orbs. The Avengerz got one, but the rest? You’re sniffin’ in the right city… but the wrong place.”

Before Bob could respond, a heavy slap landed on his shoulder.

“You’re in our seat,” a gruff voice snarled from behind.

Bob turned, meeting the glare of a group of armed men. Calmly, he said, “This seat’s got no name, sir.”

Click—guns cocked. Robert was ready to explode into Sentry form, but Valentina’s orders were clear—stay low. No golden flare-ups. No chaos.

“Y’all act like you own the place,” a smooth, chilling voice cut through the tension.

Everyone turned. There she was. A woman in a tailored white widow suit, lounging against the bar, sipping something dark. Her gaze was sharp. Y/N.

Bob’s heart jumped. He hadn’t seen her since… New York’s last chaos. She looked deadly and divine.

“You think you’re superior, lady?” the leader barked, hurling a knife toward her.

Clink. Y/N caught it mid-air, effortless. “Put the toys down,” she said, placing the blade on the bar. “Let’s do this the manly way. No crutches.”

The men smirked, accepting her challenge.

Combat erupted.

Y/N flowed like wind—graceful and lethal. She twisted, dodging the first strike and elbowing the man in the gut. A kick sent the second reeling into a table. One tried to choke her from behind, but she flipped him over her shoulder and slammed him onto the counter. Precise. Calculated. Brutal.

Within minutes, they were on the floor—groaning, unconscious.

Breathing hard, Y/N turned to Bob and grabbed his arm. “You shouldn’t be here,” she hissed.

“I need the orbs,” Bob said.

A bullet rang out—striking him in the shoulder.

“Dammit!” he growled, clutching the wound. His powers surged, but Y/N held his hand. “No powers. We go now.”

They darted through alleyways, bullets nipping at their heels. Finally, they made it to her hideout—a modest apartment tucked deep in Madripoor’s lower slums. Dim but clean, with maps, weapons, and scribbled notes pinned to walls.

Bob collapsed on the bed as she peeled off his jacket and lifted his shirt, revealing the bleeding wound. He hissed in pain.

“You’re lucky it wasn’t an inch deeper,” she said, dressing the injury with practiced hands. Then she handed him a satchel.

He opened it—the twin orbs.

“I just got them yesterday,” she said softly. “Was going to return them today… until I saw you.”

Bob looked up. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I want to do something good,” she said, smiling faintly. “For once.”

“You should sleep,” she added, turning to leave.

“What about you?” he asked, sleep pulling at his eyes.

“I’ll be here.”

Morning came.

Bob winced as he sat up, arm still aching. Y/N gently helped him redress the wound.

“A boat’s leaving. We’ll sneak onboard.”

He nodded.

The boat ride was slow—but Bob wasn’t focused on the sea. He watched her instead. The way she rested her chin on her hand. The distant look in her eyes. She was calm, quiet… and achingly beautiful.

Hours later, as they reached the quiet edges of the U.S. border, Bob clutched the satchel tightly. Before they could part ways, Y/N turned to him.

“Promise me. You won’t tell anyone about me. Not Valentina. Not the team.”

“I promise,” Bob said, eyes full of something he couldn’t yet name.

“…Will I ever see you again?” he asked, almost whispering.

She chuckled. “You can fly, right?”

Then she grabbed a pen and scribbled something on his hand. A location.

“Cresthill Cabin — Blackwood Pines. Off-grid.” A remote forest hideout nestled north of New York.

Bob looked down at the ink. When he glanced up—she was gone.

No sound. No trace.

Just emptiness. And longing.

The wind parted for him like it always did.

Robert Reynolds, now dressed in his gold-and-white Sentry suit, soared high over rooftops, leaving a trail of awe behind him. Kids pointed up from parks and playgrounds, their faces lighting up.

“Look! It’s the Sentry!”

“He’s back!”

“Mom, he’s flying!”

He slowed his speed just slightly, enough to wave back at a cluster of children on a rooftop basketball court. One kid grinned wide, both hands waving over his head. Bob smiled warmly and gave him a thumbs-up mid-flight, making the kid nearly fall over from excitement.

Cameras clicked. Drones followed from a distance. Social media and news outlets buzzed: “Sentry Returns with a Mission Accomplished!” Headlines flashed:

– ‘The Golden Hero Strikes Again’

– ‘Sentry Sighted Over New York – Glorious Re-entry!’

Moments later, he landed gracefully on the platform of the Avengerz Tower, cape fluttering behind him like a banner. The sliding doors opened with a low chime, revealing familiar faces gathered in the command room.

Bucky turned first, a rare grin breaking across his usually stoic face. “Well, look who decided to show up in one piece.”

Yelena stood beside him, arms folded but eyes warm. Ava gave him a smirk and nodded. Even Walker gave him a half-salute.

“Welcome back, Goldilocks,” Alexei bellowed from across the room, walking over with a hearty pat to Bob’s back that nearly sent him forward.

“Didn’t die,” Bob said, a little breathless but smiling. “I call that a win.”

“Where’s the cargo?” Valentina’s crisp voice broke through the welcome. She stood near the meeting table, her eyes sharp, always calculating.

Bob didn’t hesitate. He pulled the satchel from his side and set it gently on the table. Val’s eyes gleamed as she opened it, the glow of the Twin Orbs washing over her face like reflected starlight.

“Intact. No scratches. Nicely done, Robert,” she said, surprisingly soft. “You did exactly what was asked. Nothing more.”

“Of course,” he said, meeting her gaze without flinching.

Everyone relaxed. It was one of those rare, golden moments—a mission finished, a team at ease, and a sense of peace in the room that was usually filled with tension.

Yelena moved closer to Bob, her eyes catching something faint. He didn’t notice—he was talking to Bucky about the flight—but she did.

There, just above his wrist, was faint pen ink.

Handwritten.

Still smudged from travel.

“Cresthill Cabin — Blackwood Pines.”

She said nothing. She didn’t ask. But her smile deepened slightly, as if she already knew what—or who—it was about.

Instead, she handed him a bottle of water and lightly tapped his arm. “You did good. Maybe now, take a breath.”

Bob smiled, that rare peaceful kind, the kind that only surfaced when something inside him was still lingering—something tender and secret, written in ink and memory.

And though the room moved on—banter, celebration, laughter—Bob’s mind quietly traced back to a woman in white, a quiet cabin in the forest, and the last words she left him with:

“You can fly, right?”

[bestanimal]

Round 1 - Phylum Mollusca

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

The second largest phylum, Mollusca contains over 76,000 living species and somewhere between 60,000 and 100,000 extinct species, including the ammonites and helcionelloids. Living groups include the chitons, solenogasters, caudofoveates, cephalopods (octopuses, squids, cuttlefish, nautiloids, etc.), scaphopods, gastropods (slugs and snails), and bivalves.

Molluscs are highly diverse, living on land, in freshwater, and in saltwater, where they comprise over 23% of all named marine organisms. The most diverse molluscs are the gastropods which comprise over 80% of known molluscs. Due to their high diversity, the only things most molluscs have in common are a soft body composed almost entirely of muscle, a mantle with a significant cavity used for breathing and excretion, the presence of a radula (bivalves excluded), and the structure of their nervous system.

Many molluscs are endangered due to collecting and killing individuals for their meat and/or decorative shells.

Propaganda under the cut:

Cephalopods are one of the (if not the) most neurologically advanced of all invertebrates and are capable of using tools, solving puzzles, and play.

Masters of camouflage, many cephalopods can change color, shape, and texture to hide from predators, sneak up on prey, and communicate with each other

The largest molluscs are the Giant Squid (Architeuthis dux), with 12–13 m (39–43 ft) long females and 10 m (33 ft) long males, and the Colossal Squid (Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni) which is estimated between 10 m (33 ft) and 14 m (46 ft) long. The Giant Squid has much longer tentacles, but the Colossal Squid is heavier, reaching a mass of at least 495 kilograms (1,091 lb). The largest specimens of Colossal Squid, known only from beaks found in sperm whale stomachs, may perhaps weigh as much as 600–700 kg (1,300–1,500 lb).

Mollusc shells make up most of the “seashells” washed ashore, and are created by the animal via secretions of chitin and conchiolin from its mantle edge. Not all molluscs have shells (ex: nudibranchs) and for some, the shell is internal (ex: cuttlefish). Mollusc shells come in many beautiful colors, shapes, and sizes.

Most molluscs have eyes, and all have sensors to detect chemicals, vibrations, and touch. Of the phyla we have covered so far, their senses are the most developed.

Conchs can look at you like this:

(Source)

All cone snails are venomous, and some of the larger species are some of the most venomous animals in the world. Even though some species’ stings are fatal to humans, their sophisticated venom has saved lives through its use in neurological research.

Humans don’t just use mollusk meat and shells, but also luxuries like pearls, mother of pearl, Tyrian purple dye, and sea silk. As stated above, many species are now endangered due to human use, but some are farmed for their meat, pearls, and shells. The farming of bivalves is more ecologically-friendly than the farming of chordates as, rather than create waste, bivalves like mussels and oysters actually clean the water.

As filter-feeders, bivalves are natural water filters. A single 5.08 cm (2 inch) clam can filter up to 10-12 gallons of seawater a day. They can even filter microplastics out of polluted water.

The largest bivalve is the Giant Clam (Tridacna gigas) which can weigh over 200 kilograms (440 lb), measure as much as 120 cm (3.11 ft) across, and have an average lifespan in the wild of more than 100 years.

Cover your ears, kids. Terrestrial slugs, which are hermaphroditic, have some of the most intimate sex on the planet. A pair of slugs will suspend from a chord of mucus, heads down, and intertwine their bodies in a tight spiral. They will then evert their penuses and entwine them as well, exchanging sperm while hanging in midair. Slug porn, narrated by Sir David Attenborough, for your viewing pleasure.

[secretmellowblog]

I do find it interesting how so many section of Les Mis’s convent digression are essentially Callout Posts for Jean Valjean.

There are times when I wonder how much Hugo wants us to see Jean Valjean’s self-isolating/self-harm behaviors as self-harm, and how much he wants us to see them as Noble Self-Martyrdom. (Ex: sleeping in a cold hut in the backyard while Cosette has the house, eating bad food while Cosette eats well, excising himself from Cosette’s life planning to die alone, exiling himself from humanity to live alone.) He recreates the patterns of the convent long after he’s left.

But these chapters make it clear that Hugo is criticizing that kind of behavior— obsessively doing penance via self-harm, while isolating yourself from the world. It’s a real stark criticism of Jean Valjean’s constant self-exile.

If you replace “convent” with “Jean Valjean,” a lot of this feels like a very pointed descriptions of Valjean’s self-destructive behavior at the end of the novel:

When one speaks of convents, those abodes of error, but of innocence, of aberration but of good-will, of ignorance but of devotion, of torture but of martyrdom, it always becomes necessary to say either yes or no.

A convent is a contradiction. Its object, salvation; its means thereto, sacrifice. The convent is supreme egoism having for its result supreme abnegation.

(…)

In the cloister, one suffers in order to enjoy. One draws a bill of exchange on death. One discounts in terrestrial gloom celestial light. In the cloister, hell is accepted in advance as a post obit on paradise.

(…)

Sacrifice that is misdirected is still sacrifice. There is something grand about making a serious mistake a duty.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

what would happen if u drank 1 too many moscow mules and tried to fly a tardis. would u get arrested for a time travel DUI. would the tardis just not let u fly. would u crash and burn

What happens if you drink drive a TARDIS?

Let's start with the basics: piloting a TARDIS is not like flying a shuttle or a speeder or, for that matter, driving a terrestrial Earth vehicle. It's less 'you are flying it' and more 'you've convinced it to go along with your general idea.'

🌀 Who's Actually In Control?

TARDISes do the bulk of the piloting themselves, calculating Epsilon coordinates, managing course corrections, Vortex navigation, and avoiding phasing into the centre of a collapsing neutron star. In practice:

The pilot initiates the journey.

The TARDIS determines the safest (or most narratively interesting) route.

Then you hold on.

In short: the TARDIS does most of the flying automatically.

🍹 So, What If You're Drunk?

There are currently no known official Time Lord laws prohibiting intoxicated TARDIS operation. But this is probably because it's largely self-regulating, because if you were to try:

The TARDIS will know you are drunk no matter how many times you insist you're not.

It may silently ignore some of your button inputs to prevent disaster.

It could just straight up lock you out of the console room.

If it's feeling particularly annoyed, it may route you somewhere mildly humiliating as a warning, like an ethics symposium. Or a planet full of sober monks. Or your ex's house.

Either way, because of its self-piloting nature and millions of safeguards (the ACC, the EDS - see related), it's pretty hard to crash a TARDIS even if you're trying intentionally.

🏫 So...

Don't drink and time travel. But it's kind of OK because the TARDIS already does most of the work anyway.

Related:

💬|🛸🧑‍✈️What roles would six Time Lords have in piloting a TARDIS?: How having six pilots would work.

💬|🛸💥Can TARDISes or other time travel devices get into crashes?: How time capsules can crash and preventative TARDIS tech.

💬|🛸💥How do TARDISes deal with stress?: Theoretical ideas of stress management in TARDISes.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any orange text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →📢Announcements |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts → Features: ⭐Guest Posts | 🍜Chomp Chomp with Myishu →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[that-house]

To make a proper Dune movie adaptation the director needs to be a freak and a pervert, but not in the normal, mainstream ways. Our hypothetical cinematic kwisatz haderach (bisexual, ex-Catholic, probably uncut) needs to have gotten his directorial debut by placing hidden cameras in bathrooms before getting bored with that and moving on to his real sexual passions: bureaucratic proceedings from maritime trade disputes, Muslims snorting cocaine, low budget martial arts movies played off of slightly damaged DVDs, and obviously Frank Herbert’s 1965 science fiction novel, Dune. Every shot needs to be constructed as if it’s ravenously horny even if it seems like there isn’t anything to be horny about. The casting and budget:runtime ratio could remain the same, but our hypothetical auteur will insist on three movies, each 4 or 5 hours in length, that properly align with the original three segments of the novel. It is as of yet unclear whether the resulting movies would be “good” but my prescience has revealed to me that they would be the most faithful adaptations of the novel possible. The good news is that our promised director does exist! The bad news is that because America is basically a terrestrial Salusa Secundus, he’s been imprisoned by the State of Maryland since 2005 (for placing hidden camera in bathrooms). Whatever. Denis Villeneuve is a respectable second place pick.

[whirligig-girl]

Family portrait of the Zwo-nmu planetary system (the system to which Gymnome--Eaurp Guz's homeworld and the setting of train puzzle dot exe (title pending)--belongs).

Labelled version and more below the cut.

The Zwo-nmu system, home to Guz's homeworld Gymnome, is like many planetary systems dominated by gas giants. In fact, the only object that would count as a planet in the IAU's books, which resembles the terrestrial planets in our solar system, is tiny mercury-like "Rabbit" in the gap between Cool Ember and Omen.

Omen swept into the inner system, disrupting the late stages of planetary formation, but capturing Oldsky and Rival as moons and Gymnome as a trojan (which later destabilized into a horseshoe orbit). Glerbuh, Omen's near twin by mass, sucked up most of the remaining gas disk, but there was still plenty of volatile mass to generate the four ice giant planets Glarpi, Shpler, Eauah, Flibul, and most likely the recently discovered Schmitt.

Despite no other gas giants posessing moons as massive as Omen's, each of the large satellites of the other gas giants are still worth considering. Not much is yet known of the moons of the ice giants, but it is known that Glerbuh's diffuse ring is generated by the eruptions from about a dozen small rounded moons, which as they trade eccentricities with one another go in and out of periods of dramatic cryovolcanic activity.

The original system layout drawing produced in early 2023.

Scale comparison between our Sun and Zwo-Nmu, and their planets.

Up close on Omen's moons and Gymnome:

Close up of Glerbuh:

Fanart of Omen by Tolbachik:

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Hey, you!

Yeah, you!

Do you crave more ✨canon queer stories✨ in your fandom experience? Are you begging for more major character representation that you don’t have to headcanon for yourself?

Then have I got the kickstarter for you!

The Tin Can Bros (a comedy trio and makers of live theatre, digital sketches, webseries, you name it! You might know them from all the work they’ve done with Starkid—founding Tin Can Brothers Joey and Brian played Ron and Quirrell in A Very Potter Musical) are launching a brand new season of projects, most of which contain QUEER MAJOR CHARACTERS AND THEMES. These guys have got gays, they’ve got lesbians, they’ve got trans and gnc characters, they’ve got wholesome first love and Hannigram levels of fucked-up toxicity. It’s a whole cornucopia!! They’re planning to produce work in Los Angeles, NYC, London, Edinburgh, and Adelaide, but there will be digital tickets so you can watch where ever you are!

We’ve got:

-Two Rocky Horror-style concerts of the cult-hit, spy-movie parody musical Spies Are Forever. Gay protagonist who will sear himself into your heart! Seriously, his relationship with fellow spy Owen will emotionally destroy you for at least seven years.

-A concert of the developing musical This Could Be on Broadway, which follows a group of high school kids putting on a production of The Matrix: The Musical (not a show in real life) in their theatre department. A bunch of the central kids are canonically some flavor of queer, and there’s a central, very sweet lesbian romance that includes a trans character. She’s played trans actress Esther Fallick, who also worked with TCB as a consultant to make the character and show as authentic as possible. Seriously, if you want to see a trans teen thriving in their own skin, this is the show for you.

-An Edinburgh Fringe Fest production of The Solve It Squad Returns, a Scooby-Doo parody that follows the parodic versions of the Scooby Gang when they reunite as fucked-up adults to finally confront the almost-twenty-years-past traumatic murder of their dog Cluebert. I promise it’s funnier than it sounds. Esther, the Velma-esque super genius, is gender non-conforming and identifies with they/them pronouns. They also have a girlfriend WITH a boyfriend!

-A workshop reading of the QUEER SCI-FI TELEVISION COMEDY PILOT Intelligent Life. Unlike the other projects I’ve mentioned, this one is new to the TCB fans, but will follow a pair of ex-boyfriends forced to survive together in an extra-terrestrial colony. From the sound of it, there will be plenty of queer supporting characters as well. This frankly sounds like it could be tumblr’s dream show, and it’d be great to support its development.

-The Great Debate—a live comedy game show where comedians debate silly things. While this obviously won’t have narrative gay rep like the other projects, it will showcase gay talent (at the very least, Tin Can Brother Corey will participate in every show) and may include debates involving queer topics.

-Gross Prophets, in which three wannabe gurus/cult leaders lead a seminar on the path to enlightenment. This is a completely new stage musical so I honestly don’t know if it will contain any queer characters or themes. But the TCB queer track record is pretty good!

Guys, I’m so genuinely so excited by this season. But all this awesome queer art won’t happen unless we get their kickstarter funded. And they need our help! So let’s get fundraising!!

TLDR; Comedy group Tin Can Bros are attempting to fund a season positively filled with queer stories and characters, and they need help! If you want to support the creation of queer theatre and the development of queer TV, consider checking them out and giving to the kickstarter!

[soylent-crocodile]

Chiropterex (Monster)

(artist unknown)

(Back in the distant era of the early 10s, my family got Netflix as a novelty. Nowadays streaming has consumed film and television like a rabid beast, but back then, my brother and I found a little British show called Primeval. Weaned on BBC nature documentaries from a young age, this was an exciting new spin on Walking with Dinosaurs, and we loved it.

The future predator is no question the most iconic creature of the series, a future bat that is both inspired by earlier spec evo and has gone on to inspire many other monster designs, including the earlier moorkutlot. It seems only fitting it be translated to Pathfinder.

By the way, I'm abandoning the proposed evolutionary history the later seasons provide- that these actually evolved to eat humans in a post-apocalyptic cityscape- and make them what I think is most obvious to me.)

CR3 TN Medium Animal HD5

Chiropterex are an aberrant species of roughly wolf-sized terrestrial bat, an arboreal, nocturnal apex predator of the islands it calls home, where no other land mammals have reached. They live in small family groups of about four to six members, typically consisting of a mated pair, a nest of about six children, a few children of previous years who stay around to help, and maybe one or two aunts or uncles. Typically, however, they hunt alone, feeding on seabirds and large moa-like ratites who evolved alongside them. These family groups keep in contact with each other using echolocation, and if a lone hunter runs into a struggle, it will call on the dissembled family to help.

Chiropterex are notorious man-eaters, and many a shipwrecked crew has met its end at a family of ravenous land bats. Many peoples of island cultures consider chiropterex to be evil spirits, and indeed there is at least one island where the magic of The Abyss has infected the local population of these predatory beasts.

Some outsiders have tried to domesticate chiropterex, or at the very least use them as weapons. They are a tempting subject of domestication; they are mobile, intelligent, fast-growing and have large clutch sizes, but all attempts so far have ended disastrously.

Chiropterex Companions

Starting Statistics: AC: +4 Size: Small Speed: 30ft, Climb 30ft Attacks: Bite (1d3), 2 Claw (1d4) Ability Scores: Str:10 Dex:22 Con:8 Int:2 Wis:12 Cha:7 Special Qualities: Blind, Blindsight 90ft, Scent Lv 4 Advancement: Size: Medium Attacks: Bite (1d4), 2 Claw (1d6) Ability Scores: Str +4 Dex -2 Con +2 Special Qualities: Flurry of Strikes

This hunched over creature has long, clawed arms and a bulbous head that ends in a short, needle-toothed mouth.

Misc- CR3 TN Medium Animal HD5 Init:+5 Senses: Perception:+6 Blind, Blindsight 90ft, Scent Stats- Str:14(+2) Dex:20(+5) Con:10(+0) Int:2(-4) Wis:12(+2) Cha:7(-2) BAB:+3 Space:5ft Reach:5ft Defense- HP:25(5d8) AC:19(+5 Dex, +4 Natural) Fort:+4 Ref:+9 Will:+3 CMD:21 Immunity: Gaze and other visual effects Weakness: Vulnerability to Sonic  Offense- Bite +5(1d4+2, 18-20/x2), 2 Claw +5(1d6+2) CMB:+6 Speed:30ft, Climb 30ft Special Attacks: Pounce, Flurry of Strikes +3/+3/+3/+3(1d6+2) Feats- Dodge, Mobility Skills- +11 Climb, +10 Stealth, +6 Perception(+8 Racial to Climb) Special Qualities- Flurry of Strikes Ecology- Environment- Forest, Urban (Warm) Languages- None Organization- Solitary, Family (2-4 Chiropterex, 6-8 Young Chiropterex) Treasure- None Special Abilities- Blindsight (Ex)- A chiropterex’s blindsight is echolocation-based; it cannot sense within areas of Silence or similar spells. Flurry of Strikes (Ex)- A chiropterex may, as a full-round action, give a flurry of stabbing strikes from its claws. It makes four Claw attacks at a -2 penalty each. 

[spidersdaily]

do you have a favorite spider species

If I could have ONE spider ever it'd be the chilean flame. I wish I had one sooo bad.

[redd956]

Cool (sorry, I don’t know how to start messages lol). I will say that it’s fairly long and might be a bit complicated and confusing so I apologize in advance; I can clear up anything in a comment if need be. Anyways, with that said:

Regarding worldbuilding creatures or animals (flora and fauna), how do you decide what features/inspirations you use when building specific creatures (from terrestrial to underwater to space to underground to all the Pokémon types (that’s a joke but you hopefully get the idea))?

Or more specifically (or not), how do you mix features that seemingly wouldn’t work together in a way that’s complimentary to the creature at hand? How many features would be considered too many (ex giving a single animal like 20 different feature and basically making them a demigod)? Too little (probably not applicable but idk)? How do you decide what features would go on a specific creature? Is it up to the world builder or would it biologically have to at least make sense (probably the former but still leaving it because why not?)?

Not sure if I’m making sense (it’s quite late and words are losing coherency in my brain), but I ask this because, for some context, I have a creature that I’m creating that, background wise, is a genetically modified living weapon comprised of several different homemade (???) creatures I have in my world. However, the scientists/creators didn’t account for different features fighting/not working as intended (for example, the creatures inherited acidic saliva but not the resistance to it which essentially lead to their mouths dissolving from their own saliva) as well as there being what is essentially several different creatures all mashed into one body fighting for dominance but on a genetic level.

I do apologize if this question doesn’t make sense (kinda looking like nonsense to me as well. Translating thoughts into coherent words is hard), I’m still in the process of making the reference sheet for it and also just in general trying to figure out the thoughts of the concept and again I can clarify in a comment, but how would this affect the creature I’m building? What things should I consider?

I hope this isn’t somehow annoying or strange/weirdly specific question so feel free to ignore/take your time with it. Hope you’re having a good day/night, are taking care of yourself, staying hydrated and all that jazz :]

-idk (also will just say this now before I forget, I am @idkanonymystuff . Just for future reference and also context I guess? Idk)

(Also, on a bit of a random note, I have a video that I think is very helpful/informative/cool about a worldbuilding process. I don’t know if you know it but I could share it, if that’s alright with you. Also I think it’d be epic if you made a yt channel. You have a lot of good worldbuilding knowledge and prompts)

I understand you completely

Creature Features

One thing I try to think about when designing creatures/monsters is the evolutionary reasons for certain features. Most animals have evolved to have features assists with mating, hunting, hiding, defending, or communicating. The more intelligent a creature the more likely they are have features that allow them to use tools.

The environment is another good thing to factor in. Think about how creatures differ depending whether they live in a desert or arctic environment. For instance arctic predator animals have innate hearing to pinpoint creatures underneath the snow based off of sound. Insects in sandy environments learn to burrow and make dens/colonies in the sand.

Sometimes though I add some features simply because I think it would be cool.

Balancing Monster/Creature Abilities

There's many different techniques to keep a creature design balanced. There's some considerations I try to remember, mostly based off of what I'm using the design for outside of base worldbuilding.

Making Sense

For your exact circumstances dear asker, this part doesn't really need to be taken by heart, but for others getting into creature design try to make it make sense.

Abilities, appearance, and/or even size all have evolutionary reasons to exists (unless genetically altered, looking at you killer bees). Whether a creature have camouflage to hunt or hide, or a venomous bite to easily digest prey, or large claws to dig dens; there's more reason then just cool-factor.

Take for instance Cats. They're overpowered. The domestic cat is one of the most prolific predator animals on the planet, and their widespread populations prove it, for cats are very much responsible for dwindling species of all kinds.

They have night vision, but are colorblind. They can leap up to 8 ft (240 cm) high, and typically land on their feet, except for when landing a short distance because they don't have time to calibrate for their fall. Their tails allow for their excellent balance, but provide a target from "bigger fish". They have sharp fangs and tough claws, both modeled in such a way that they can use bacteria to infect enemy cats after fights. That's why cat scratches always puff up.

But the cat isn't perfect. They're at a disadvantage against airborne threats. They are quiet and intelligent, but have little self control. Just like you and me they are vulnerable to genetic disorders, illness, and more. Their thin skin allows for easy lacerations against them, and their small size makes a plethora of large creatures equal competition.

All of these features of a cat are insane stand alone, but we are so familiar with such an animal and the evolutionary reasons for these features that it doesn't occur to us.

Monster Versus Characters

Your creature exists in a world, often times with other people or intelligent creatures in it. The longer it has been around the more others would know about it. In a militaristic sci-fi this looks like squads of teams dedicated to eradicating certain alien threats. In an Elvish setting maybe it's a warning that an ancient scholar details.

Think about how the people around your creature interact with it. Maybe they've played a role in the feature it has developed through selectively breeding, pollution, over-hunting/fishing, or just straight up evolution.

This is also fun to think about character-wise for a monster character, as we get to learn a lot about them through how the world views them (and how they react to such a view).

Story Role

Sometimes powerful creatures and monsters serve a major worldbuilding-storytelling purpose, like an assumed god or local legend. They serve a role in maintaining an ecosystem maybe, from a powerful predator to a dragon meant to cull humans and keep them in-check.

The roles a creature can play can be just as interesting. Their power doesn't have to continue come from their ability, but their intelligence or connections too.

Weaknesses & Flaws

Weaknesses and flaws can equally make a creature design interesting. They allow lots of room for balance, and are important to characters in general. There's many different places to pull from for potential ideas for weaknesses. Some could originate from the environment that the creature is used to, such as a fluffy arctic animal would have a hard time under the blaring sun of the desert.

Other weaknesses could come with advantages of different features, such as a blind animal with innate hearing.

Some can be simple and severe, such as a giant gem on the back for a strike point of weakness. There can also be weaknesses to certain elements, magic, minerals, or even weapon types.

Gameplay Interests

When designing a monster or creature with the specific intent for players to go up against it in either a video game or ttrpg, it's important to make the monster "defeatable" in some sort of way. This doesn't mean that the monster needs to be in killable health, but perhaps has mechanics that allow it to be blindsighted or bartered with.

Take for interests the various monsters in Lethal Company. Not all of them are solved simply with death by shovel. There is many other ways to avoid some, and get the job done.

Blending in w/the established world

To make my creatures or monsters blend in I pull from the world around them, using already established rules or grounds.

Examples

Apex predator/large member of an environment's food chain

Matches the establish tech/magic system

There's general knowledge or worldbuild mystery surrounding the creature

Making it interact with existing forces, like a certain mineral, symbiotic species, specific plant

Maybe if it's poisonous it uses an already established poison

Design alone plays a major role. It wouldn't make a lot of sense in most contexts for a super alien-looking outerspace style creature to inhabit a dry forest, without explanation (invasive alien species perhaps) or similar forces at play (sci-fi space theme).

Take advantage of the freedom of worldbuilding

You don't have to be sold on a design immediately. Allow yourself to experiment, dabble with designs, ridiculous concepts. Really in worldbuilding there is no exact rules.

Many major series have lots of initially wacky worldbuilding ideas and they pull them off amazingly, like Minecraft or Dungeons & Dragons.

Just make sure you're still having fun, and not turning each design into a laborious process.

[389]

Blunder Chillout #005 Mix by @x2s Deep House, Breaks, Breakbeats, Electro, Bass, Garage TRACKLIST

Ex-Terrestrial - Urth Man

Danja Uosh - Double Damage - Original Mix

EdOne feat Martin Herrs & Santanamusiqu❘ - Morning Flight

DJ Flatscreen - Hyperphunk

Jump Source, Patrick Holland, Priori - Crusade Mix

Chaos In The Cbd - Mind Massage

Bliss Inc - Radiant Reality

Bliss Inc - Outer Limits

SE62 - Night People

Foreign Sequence - Is This The Limit

Optic::core - Saturn Skyline

Tv.out & Smallpeople - Sailor Desperados

Roza Terenzi - Metal Glo

Logic1000 - Safe In My Arms

Artyom Kozlov - Air Circulation (Original Mix) 

Madcat - Hug the Police

No Moon - Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way 

Baril - Youth 

Cousin - Welcome

Batu & Lurka - Curved

Eris Drew - Fluids of Emotion 

Simo Cell - Crystal

[go-go-devil]

The Fullest History of a Hylic World

It has been three years now since I began obsessing over the purposefully vague worldbuilding of the Hylics games, so I’d say now’s about time I finally share with you all MY personal interpretation of how this world and its many ages were sculpted!

Without further ado, please enjoy my absurd history lesson 🌙

In an unknown year during an unknown age, the planet’s celestial satellite began to soften. Less than a year later the satellite, or “Moon” as it was called by the planet’s original denizens, fell from its orbit and drenched the earth in a thick, viscous matter. 99% of the flora and fauna were crushed under the weight of the moon and melted beneath it but not entirely killed, instead becoming a living terrestrial ocean.

Once the moon matter hardened into a sturdy clay, pockets of life begin to mold themselves out of the soil in the form of thin strands of clay piled on top of each other. This era is known as the Age of Insects.

It is speculated that this event occurred simultaneously alongside the final death and/or reconstitution of the few surviving mutants of the previous age, all too obsessed with their last remaining arcades, televisions, and metal detectors to attempt to rebuild their old world. Those that accept this theory title this parallel age as the Age of Non-Sequiturs.

Metamorphic beings with self-awareness evolve throughout the island chains dotted across deep, viscous oceans. Surviving electronic carapaces join them in conscious thought, displaying pictures that inspire them to create more advanced tools and architecture. The Age of Self-Actualization begins.

Grand cities are constructed (ex: Amulom, Yiithorn, etc.) as well as microwaves and paper cups. Gestures begin to be recorded onto televisions without the need of a VCR. Some computers are later domesticated, whilst others evolve further. Boats and flying ships are invented too.

The existence of the Afterlife is well-known amongst all hylics and is treated as sacred, as there are no ways of accessing it outside of dying.

Certain hylic individuals dedicate their beings so closely to understanding certain unknown aspects of their lives that their bodies begin to morph into new forms. These larger forms allow them to achieve higher states of consciousness via psychic inclinations, and thus they are labeled as “Sages” by the hylics. 

Alongside this phenomena, distant memories of the moon begin to show themselves in rock formations and living beings. Some beings view the existence of a now-absent moon in reverence, constructing pottery and even a television in its image.

The Great Conflict is fought between the Sages and a terrifying force hellbent on conquering the entire world and subjecting all beings to their violent whims. It is the first major battle fought for the sake of the earth, and it lasted a decent length of time by hylic standards. Only after defeating their most powerful general, a psychic homunculus they created named Fuller, did the conflict finally end, though some forces still survive today and wish to take what is rightfully “theirs.”

An underground building project near Amulom accidentally unearths an opening to the Afterlife. Wanting to heighten the potential of all hylic life so no more conflicts will ever be fought again, the Sages join together and construct the Hylemxylem. The massive organism uses its tendrils to suck up terrestrial juice from the Afterlife below in order to convert it into raw energy and transmit it across the atmosphere. This ushers in the enlightened Age of Sages, which lasts for a good length of time by hylic standards.

Whilst the ‘xylem persists, certain moon-obsessed beings who disagree with the harvesting of terrestrial juice begin construction on an alternate method of utopia. After many, many years, it is finally pulled out of the atmosphere and set to orbit the planet as a celestial satellite. This creates lurid controversy, but nothing too obscene.

Having taken too much juice from beneath the earth, the Hylemxylem implodes on itself. The resulting deluge of terrestrial juice engulfs most of Amulom’s archipelago. Alongside this, many of the technological advancements such as cabinets and paper cups become buried and nearly forgotten by both the remaining and future hylics. This calamitous event becomes known as The Accretion.

Gibby, self-proclaimed King of the Moon, finally makes himself known across the planet. Taking advantage of the chaos left in the wake of the Accretion, he convinces the populace that the Sages are the enemy of the hylics and establishes his celestial satellite as the single enlightening force. The Sages go into hiding, and after forming an army of soldiers and bureaucrats alike, the King enacts his spell of absurdity to reduce the earthly hylics into a state of lunacy. This, he believes, is the only way to reconstitute the earth and re-establish the Age of Sages he was denied a part in.

A yellow, crescent-headed moon being named Wayne escapes the Moon and finds a nice abandoned house to crash at for a little while. He and his only friend, Somsnosa, find a microphone and guitar in a trash can and decide to make some music. Moonage Lobotomy is formed.

One day Wayne convinces Somsnosa, alongside two other anarchists named Dedusmuln and Pongorma, to fly to the Moon and defeat Gibby once and for all. The Moon is destroyed and sanity is reestablished, but other than a single poet there were no permanent deaths recorded.

A gibbylet of Gibby survives the destruction of the Moon and finds itself in the hands of Blerol, chieftain of the newly established city of New Muldul. After several days of being convinced of its potential destructive power, the chieftain agrees to move it from a display case in his safe to be sealed within a vault on the forbidden island of Foglast.

On a peninsula nearby New Muldul, a population of creatures who call themselves Wayne, birthed by a sage-like psychic known as Old Wayne, is discovered and befriended by the locals. Preparations for Gibby’s potential return are taken seriously by friend and foe alike.

Moonage Lobotomy goes on to release its fourth studio album after the second defeat of Lord Gibby and the destruction of his recreated Hylemxylem, resulting in the highest selling record ever recorded and the first world-wide concert tour. As the tour is going on, Wayne’s species begins to grow, spreading further along other archipelagos.

Some scholars are suggesting that Gibby's reign be known as the Age of Lunacy for self-explanatory reasons, while others insist on calling it the Age of the Accretion as that was the event which kickstarted the long dark age. As of right now, though, no one has a name for this new age yet.

Wayne, lead guitarist of Moonage Lobotomy, is declared missing.

[digimonlover09]

People who haven’t read Homestuck are encouraged to guess, fellow Homestucks welcome too

Update: Thank you all for participating! The correct answer was 3: Mafia Hatesex Destroys the Universe. Explanations for each option under the cut.

1: Did Happen! In the epilogue, Candy Jade Harley inserted herself into Dave and Karkat’s relationship, straining it until it fell apart. In ^2, it was revealed she also fucked Rose behind her wife, Kanaya’s, back.

2: Did Happen! DavepetaSprite^2. Sorry your date got ruined by fusion shenanigans, JasproseSprite

3: CORRECT ANSWER, Did NOT Happen! It was cockblocking, actually. The mafia hatesex not  happening was a very important plot point that took up multiple pages.

4: Did Happen! Limes, Humanity, all terrestrial life on Earth, and possibly many alien civilizations.

5: Did Happen! They both became president together.

6: Did Happen! Guy Fieri was not only a Supreme Court Justice, but the only remaining one by the time ICP were elected dual-president.

7: Did Happen! Fuck you for that, Hussie.

8: Did Happen! Trickster Mode is a hell of a drug.

9: Did Happen! Dave Strider’s childhood sucked.

10: Did Happen! SS was not a dog yet at this time.

11: Did Happen! Turns out she felt more herself without working eyes.

12: Shit, Let’s Be Santa!

[lupinedreaming]

Any other ex-Mormon enbies sinning extra hard to achieve the androgynous genderless body of their dreams in the Telestial/Terrestrial kingdom?