#except now they're talking over my head like im not even there which i can't tell is worse or not

[hiduprakyat]

well it was bound to happen anyway weren't it I'm not a likeable person I said that the first day we met and it was always going to end like this. Just didn't expect it to be this soon

[ohbo-ohno]

well now i can't stop thinking about reader in a depressive episode bc she's trapped in the apartment refusing to leave the bed or check her phone for texts and the only thing ghost and soap can do is helplessly watch through the cameras..or managing to accidentally hurt herself somehow in an escape attempt and ghost sends a text berating her for it but soap can see he's actually very afraid.. angst potential here off the charts ngl

ugh i looooove good angst. my favorite romance trope is second-chance because there's very little i love more than a man fucking up and begging for forgiveness.

putting a read more here bc im gonna talk about depression and thats a pretty big cw <3

it would be very difficult to not get depressed when they're both gone for days at a time. you'd go from being in their presence 24/7, constant attention, to just nothing for days on end. especially with the presence of the collar and chain at your throat? it would all throw you into a not-quite-person headspace, and that's not great when you're all alone :(

early on you don't like to interact with them. johnny spams you with texts - funny memes, stupid things people have said, things he wants to do when he's back with you - and you ignore him out of spite (except he can see you lunge for the phone every time it buzzes, and from certain camera angels he can see the way you smile when he tells you about something embarrassing simon did). simon doesn't text much at all, that's not a specific to you thing though he's just like that, so he's almost exclusively texting you little scolding messages. smirks when he sees you scowl and pout through the camera :(

they'd be really worried once you stop getting out of bed. even when you're scared of them, there's still a fire there yk? they don't want you to change as a person, they just want to keep you. when you start to give up a little, it would send them into a bit of a tailspin.

johnny worries first (he hadn't noticed first, but he worries first). he sends you a text and you don't move to look at it, which he's never seen happen unless you're asleep or two far away from the phone to hear it. so he spams you, does that thing where he sends one letter at a time so your phone is just making an endless buzzing noise. his heart lodges in his throat when you just roll onto your other side, not even looking at it or shoving it onto the floor.

simon has to stay calm, because johnny's freaking out. he's very worried about you too, but he can't be showing that with the way that johnny's hands shake as he shoves the camera app into his face.

they can't just leave, they've got a contract they've signed promising to complete x y and z, or else they'd be on their way back when you only leave the bed once in 24 hours and it's to use the bathroom. they're snippy and pushy, rude to everyone and each other because they can't help you.

the next morning you get out of bed. ghost shakes soap awake, a rare desperation in his movements as he forces him to look at your shuffling form on the little phones screen.

you're very slow moving, stiff from your day in bed and slow from exhaustion and hunger. you trip over the chain, go sprawling to the ground with a cry that echoes like a gunshot out of simon's phone speakers. you curl up, hands cradling the knee your weight fell on, and you don't get back up.

simon and johnny are gone, immediately. they break contract and just about every traffic law ever written to get back to you, tearing up the stairs at a full sprint like there's a fire on their heels.

you're still on the floor when they get there, haven't moved an inch from where you first fell (which they know, at least one of them has had his eyes on the cameras since you hit the floor). johnny wants to take you to a hospital, but simon manages to talk him down a bit when they see that your knee is only red and a little scraped.

the real problem is in your head. you don't bother reacting much when they burst in, just sort of lay limp and let them do what they want. like a doll.

johnny's cupping your face, squeezing a little too tight and making eye contact with you. he looks frantic. "lovie? c'mon, talk to me. what's wrong, huh?"

simon's stroking over your body with hands that shake, just enough for you to notice. he's leaned against the back of the couch, you between his legs and your back against his chest, legs caged by his.

"give her a second, johnny," simon rumbles, petting up and down your arms in a soothing and consistent movement. "she's alright. just gotta..." he cuts himself off for a moment, swallowing down the lingering panic in his throat. "just need a little love, huh sweetheart? little love and attention, and you'll be okay."

they slowly coax your mind back to your body, steady movements that don't jar or (for once) don't push any of your boundaries. they're warm, murmuring soft praises and kind words.

you cry when you fully come back to yourself, overcome with how comforted you truly feel. you shouldn't. they've kidnapped you, they keep you chained to the fucking floor like a dog when they leave you.

but they're so warm, and so soft. johnny's mumbling into your neck all the things he likes about you (pretty face, soft skin, perfect size, sweetest eyes, cutest expressions) and simon is breathing heavy and deep in your ear, guiding your breathing with his as it grows heavier and heavier.

that night is the first night you cuddle into them. you need them, even if they've forced it to be that way. you can't change it now.

[lavendergalactic]

Gray & blue for the azk game !! :3

gray: talk about the colors you tend to use in edits! do you like making bright or dark edits? are there colors you dislike editing?

i tend to lean towards making pink edits i think! i love making pink and red edits mostly :D

and i HATE editing yellow or a light green, i don't know why i can just never get it right- except for this yayoi edit i think the yellows in this one are really nice

blue: do you have favorite editors? is there any specific reasoning for your choosing?

@llocket !! 100% locket i really love anything he makes and i am VERY biased but hey i am locket's #1 fan forever >:) she's been improving their graphics so much recently, i love the married in red edits they did today... the improvement is crazy

@saeriji PROUD SAE OG FAN SINCE DAY 1 BRO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 i love all the gifts she's given me, she's so generous and kind T_T and i'm pretty sure she does all her colouring and editing on ibis paint and literally she is just so good at colouring on ibis paint i strive to be like that

@necroangelz OFC! i've seen hir improve SOO much over the past few months, and idol even hit 1k followers recently which is so incredibly deserved

@hiddencircus i always find myself staring at radio's edits for 5 mins straight like... they're all so incredibly detailed and i just feel so much intention and effort that was poured into the edits

@doveish the way shi colours stuff is so nice on the eyes, and i've got to talk with macalo like two times on discord and shi's such a blast to talk to! shi also got me hooked to the lolitawardrobe account on twitter

@narcbf got me super inspired to make shiny buttons / imvu badges, thanks to their tutorial i can make them too now 🙏 also .co/pixelprism is like an angel sent from the heavens i love going there for any resources or really pretty shiny buttons

@herrscherofmemories (YOU!) the absolute IMPROVEMENT i've seen from amaru is so wild to me like i love to see it fr. im in love with this psd of hers, also i forever associate them with any melusine- i see a melusine in the wild and go "OMGG AMARU!! NO WAY!!" also with s = z typing quirks too, i remember my S key hurt too much to press so i settled with what i called "an amaru typing quirk" it was actually really fun

@spiralssyndrome i love love love her colouring on anything, and their melanin edits she does!!!! im a sucker for genshin melanin edits omg... also they're super helpful when it comes to making renders; it's so sweet how willing she is to help me with rendering an image :D also they helped with colouring on my chappell roan buttons 🙏 my hot to go button would be very different without her help thank u

@ideallyadored SUPER DUPER SMOOPER HELPFUL WHEN IT COMES TO GRAPHIC TIPS!! recently told me i should use sharpen on my stamp gifs, i still have yet to figure it out but i can't stop thinking about that tip it lives rent free in my head, i also love their clean aesthetic approach to things all of it is so nice on my eyes

that was such a yap fest i would have gone more but i'd be here for years guys LMAOFOA

[mincedpeaches]

rvb19 liveblogging post. #rvb19 spoilers

Did Wash get a new voice actor? Why does he sound so off.

Why is Grif like this. Why is Grif's character so off. He's not really stupid, he plays it up to be lazy. Why does he seem so weirdly angry. Yelling did not make the "they're right behind me aren't they" joke any funnier Geoff.

Okay I didn't even CONSIDER that Donut would never show up. Like after the Apple Cast listing was seemingly incomplete based on already confirmed people that had recorded lines. Only to have the shot of Donut getting sliced up in a cartoon be his first and God forbid only appearance? The disrespect. If he doesn't show up later I'm rioting. Did I miss a Joel-style falling out with Donut's voice actor somewhere.

Okay actually Wash sounds fine it was just the awkward exposition dialogue earlier I guess.

479er???? Does this count as a minor freelancer cameo.

A SECOND "hes right behind me" style quip with Meta!Tucker in the case. Burnie PLEASE. Avengers came out in like 2014.

Why does Tucker!Meta talk. Why does he have an evil laugh. Remember when all the Meta did was occasionally growl and he was threatening. Remember when all they had to do was play When Your Middle Name is Danger and it would make the machinima actually tense.

The Reds overall reluctance to help the Blues both earlier in the canyon when Caboose asked them and then now leaving Caboose on the ship... I don't know. It rings a little different when its the last season and all also the whole "they say no but then they change their minds" bit has been done so many times by now. Especially if this is meant to be happening after Chorus. This isn't really a lesson they need to be learning anymore.

Over 40mins minutes in and no mention of Carolina. I am... concerned. I thought she was in a shot in the trailer. Am I crazy. If she doesn't show up I just. In what WORLD does Epsilon run five squintilion simulations and not choose to contact HER instead.

OKAY HERE IT COMES THE SARGE SACRIFICE. FOR A BLUE. IM SCARED.

Hes gonna get stabbed big time ooooh my god I can't watch.

I feel like. Okay. When rvb got serious. It didn't have to undercut itself with jokes. When Donut was shot by Wash it was 100% played straight. No quips. So why does Burnie undercut Sarge getting stabbed by having him say "well dang it".

I've paused this like five million times to say "I can't" and all variations thereof. I'm not ready for "Matt's performance".

Hand on Simmons arm. And if I lose it right now.

Very touching moments happening here with Sarge and the team I cannot complain too much or really at except when in one of my numerous pauses of the movie to fortify myself I cannot help but clasp my hands and think. Where's Donut.

And also I cannot help but think when we were about to get on Torrian for trying to kill Tucker and now its like. Welp. (Not nearly as bad as a killing to gas up your bad rvb spinoff but still. It kinda feels like this is approaching that ballpark.)

"Run away while you can. I'm coming for you." *laughs evilly* Is this supposed to be like Tuckers personality, like a Doc-O'Malley thing where the AI adapts its mannerisms to the host. Because either way its a corny ass bit that does nothing. And I kinda of hate it.

Doc is very obviously all in Wash's head which is uhhh.... not where I expected the season to go. With Wash.

Grif and Simmons standing in front of Sarge's grave, alone: Me: soooo. grimmons?

OKAY SO. IMMEDIATE PIVOT TO HEARTFELT DISCHARGE THAT I DID NOT EXPECT. OKAY. SCENE WHERE GRIF ADMITS HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE SIMMONS INCOMING?????

OR HE ASKED HIM TO COME WITH HIM. EVEN BETTER. HELLO.

man really great stuff here happening here but I still cant help but be like. so why isnt Donut here. is it the homophobia.

This song kinda sounds like. No. it couldn't be.

Okay over an hour and no Carolina I'm kind of feeling like when I walked into the Supernatural series finale thinking Castiel might return only to hit the point of the ten minute long wincest scene, with no Castiel in sight.

TEX RETURN???? THE PERSON WAS TEX??? NOT CAROLINA???????

All the budget went to getting Kathleen to return after her fallout with Rooster Teeth.........

Okay wait so is Doc real? He was really giving hallucination.

Wait okay drop from the sky. If this ISNT Carolina. I'm ending it.

THANK FUCKING GOD. THANK GOD.

Again I don't really know why getting to her wasn't part of Epsilon's plan but WHATEVER. whatever. do Donut next.

Also I would love love LOVE for some Carolina and Tex moments after this fight. really rooting for the Bechdel test pass.

Okay we really kill Tex again huh. Should have put that on my Bingo card.

If the AIs in Meta!Tucker are fragments of Epsilon, meaning presumably when he fragmented the Epsilon memories would be gone, how does this Sigma know about Allison =Tex = Beta.

The cone on Grif did get me lmao.

EXPLAIN TO ME THE SWORD THING WHAT. Did Meta!Tucker say "You never were?" Am I missing something. That isn't how the swords work.

DONUT ONLY GETTING A CAMEO IN A CHEERLEADING OUTFIT GAG. HELLO. WHAT AM I MISSING HERE. WHY IS DONUT NOT HERE. also simmons gay thoughts.

why does simmons get the good throwing arm bit that was DONUTS thing. im about to break into Burnie's house. where is Donut.

Chex handhold walk into the white void. I should have put Chex on my bingo card.

Okay no so Doc still definitely a hallucination. What are we doing with this Burnie.

I'm counting Carolina looking sad at the smashed capture unit as Carolina Angst. Taking what I can get here.

Carolina just ignoring Wash mentioning Doc lmao.

OKAY NO WAIT. DOC DEAD. DIED IN THE CHORUS BATTLE. WASH BEING HAUNTED BY GUILT OF DEAD DOC. Burnie recon'd the brain trauma but was like wait. hold my beer.

this sad as hell actually. damn.

also the revival of wash/doc as a ship concept like DAMN where my recollection homies at for real. Remember in Chorus trilogy when the gag was nobody gave a shit about Doc and forgot about him in the transportation cubes. I know Doc fans eating. Except for how he's, you know, dead.

North and CT appearances. THERES my minor freelancer cameos.

Man I have SO many thoughts(tm) on this scene that I cannot articulate right I need to digest it for a little bit but. Giving all this angst to Wash (instead of Carolina). The scene on the beach in s15 being better because it wasn't slanted toward Wash. Why did I think Burnie was gonna do my girl right.

Agent One appearance..... oh wow...... yay............ 😑

Grif leaving without Simmons? No. no way.

Okay im gonna. Thats not. man.

Sorry I'm gonna get hung up on this in the Grimmons way first and then the rest of it after. WHY would you have the little "come with me" only to split up after. Not that I expected Grimmons lets be real but I didn't expect a split and more importantly I didnt expect a HALF BLOOD GULCH split up. Is the ending really for SIMMONS AND CABOOSE to be 1vs1'ing in the box canyon. Season 11 they were planning to go "home" and then the ship crashed. There is long since no Command. WHAT are they going to be doing there. Burnie ANSWER me.

okay credit rolling and they really gave Meta a stupid voice so Miles could do it huh. okay. They also gave him Sigma which I did catch in the voice acting.

the one Donut line WAS Dan Godwin. Mr Godwin what was your schedule like. PLEASE. could you really not reprise your roll. COULD THEY HAVE WRITTEN YOU OUT OF THE SEASON WITH A BIT MORE RESPECT, AND DARE I SAY GRAVITAS.

shout out to the one Andy line too lmao I didnt mention that earlier.

IT WAS THE BARE NAKED LADIES. THAT SONG. I KNEW IT. thats where the other half of the budget went I guess.

okay well. Its over. I need to collect my thoughts. And make a post.

[royallygray]

I’m busy today ahsjsk but prepare for me to ramble your ears off later

also take a guess at which ship 💀 you’ll never get it /s

also also also did I reblog that from you and if so spill I want to hear what you’re writing /nf

OOOOOH

I bet you seventy monopoly bucks it's ethubs. just. just a subtle guess. maybe. possibly. actually quite unlikely it's not like you ship them or anything 😁

Idk if you reblogged that from me either and idk what /nf means but. ok.

So I have my main AU, soul horizon au, aka around my soul and beyond your horizon, and the masterpost of everything relating to it is here. It's Scarian and Gempearl but it's actually centered around everyone's friendship and something except I haven't actually done a lot of writing for it but I have stuff about Pearl and I have a mutual Peri @periwinklepaint (the best I love them sm just shdhagjah) she's so talented and has drawn 3(THREE!!!!!!!! :D) Pearl drawings in soul horizon au and she's the one that has kept me going in this au

And then my other main not fanfic one is iw8, that I've talked about a teeny bit, but it's my self-indulgent ass half-my-300-OCs fic, that also doesn't actually have anything written for IT-- WAIT I DO I HAVE AN AO3 AND IVE PUBLISHED SOME STUFF FOR IW8 LETS GOO

my ao3 is royalwriteswords and the series is called iw8 | Eternality under my RoyallyGray pseud

I hate half of them but yeah

uhh I've ranted sufficiently

Oh yeah I ranted a little bit about Skyler in a post. She's an OC in iw8

did I mention that iw8 is technically a Harry Potter fanfic. that crosses over with Percy Jackson. and also keeper of the lost cities. but I tend to ignore that bc it diverged primarily into family dynamics and shit bc the main family (Crownes) (Crown-nez) has a long line of people and just. a lot of people with different dynamics and shit and I could probably stop ranting but honestly I'm having fun

Okay so the main character--im unsure if I'm gonna change her name or not--is named Sarah Crownes. Which is the self insert that got out of hand and she was a Mary Sue fucking overpowered as hell (she's still overpowered but it's less relevant now) and she's massively fucked up

HO TT OGO YOU CAN TAKE ME HOT TO GO

I've gotten rly into Chappell Roan and that's been playing in my head

Anyways Sarah has a younger brother called Scott, and a younger sister called Skyler. They're all 9 years apart, and Sarah just turned 18 by the time Skyler was born.

I killed their parents, Sasha Black (yes she's related to sirius. they are twins. yes it's cringe. shut up. embrace the cringe. maybe.) and Davis Crownes (Hermione's mom's brother. now we don't know if Hermione's mom has siblings. but we also don't even know her fucking name so TECHNICALLY Davis can be canon anyways I digress) on the same day that Skyler was born (December 24, 1997). don't blame me, blame Voldemort. it was Voldemort.

Unfortunately, I fucked over Sarah bc why not. Davis and Sasha made Sarah the primary like. person of their will to take care of Scott and Incoming Baby once she turned 18 (December 18, 1997. born 1979) and like.

Sarah is grieving and also fighting in a fucking war when they die and leave the kids to her but also everyone else on their list is either ALSO FIGHTING IN THE FUCKING WAR or otherwise unfit. Like Remus? bro he's not doing well. also in war. the Weasleys? in war. Paul and Alyssa (OCs)? fighting in war.

like. they're all fucked.

also I made this decision like ages ago when I was less mature and less understanding of world, but Sarah sent Scott to Camp Half Blood and Skyler to Camp Jupiter. The reason they're at separate and not at the same is bc Sarah didn't want Scott to feel absolutely over responsible at all times over Skyler and just. yeah

but I feel like there's gotta be a more seamless way of her to do that than just sending them to camps bc she can't take care of them but I haven't figured that out yet anyways

Im done with this post let me know if you have questions and/or want more :D

thanks for the ask Kat <3

[11cupids-tarot11]

hi i did ur latest pac reading for clarity and i chose pile 3 and u recommended looking into pile 2 as well. I related to both and funny enough, i have been trying to manifest my own apartment. I get so many angel numbers whenever i think about it or try to manifest it, but i do get second thoughts bcuz im reminded of how expensive rent is and i dont make enough to live on my own yet. I know i should trust the universe, but it’s difficult sometimes considering the circumstances and im desperate to get out of my current situation. Any tips on how to cope with that while still manifesting?

Hi love!

I appreciate you reaching out to me, I felt pulled to pull some cards for you! So I don't know your situation entirely ofc but I feel like this is something you've been talking with your spiritual team with for a while now and trying to manifest. Like I feel some heavy energy coming from them and they tell me that you've been through a lot, but they love you and they're always with you, you're never going through anything alone!

So we've got the Justice cards, King of Pentacles, Knight of Wands, Eight of Swords,The Empress, The Hermit, The Chariot and Eight of Pentacles.

You've got lots of high cards!

I wanna start off by saying I feel like you're kinda young, I feel very young energy regardless of age, kind of young and very unsure, I feel like the collective has all been going through such uncomfortable energy and situations, but I swear there's gotta be one big giant rainbow at the end of it for all of us😭 I'm like 110% sure of it, I just have that feeling yk, and always trust your first intuition!

Okay, so your first card out is the justice card! Which usually if pulled means gaining justice, clarity/insight even! I feel like in your situation I get the feel that you're in a situation that's very uncomfortable, it feels like maybe there's a situation of not being treated fairly, I feel like you've had your fair share of people being shitty to you, maybe some loss? Some situation that happened to you and your guides want to bring you Justice, like you've been treated so unfairly and there's always that balance of things right? So if you know you've been suffering, just know great things are going to come after. It's like a rainbow after the rain, except your guides are wanting to take this situation in their hand and bring it to you! You're getting justice!

So I feel like your guides want to remind you that you are capable of managing money, you can attract money as well. I feel like there's just so much uncertainty around the financial area of your life and you just feel so unsure of yourself but your guides are like wdym you can't? I heard "you can do it, because you do it in the future just fine!" Lol. You're guides feel so loving and protective of you. I feel like even if you're not financially stable right now you definitely will be soon, anything you feel like you have no control over you will soon! You'll be gaining so much not financially but spiritually as well I feel like.

So I feel like you're just in a very icky situation, like my head hurts and I feel some violent emotions. The woman in the cards is all tied up and bound and I feel like you could feel that sometimes, and that's totally valid! I feel like your spirit guides want to remind you of how important it is to be kind to yourself and remind yourself that it's okay, I see a positive mindset is something that could always make us feel better, always try to make ourselves feel okay and valid and comfortable even in uncomfortable situations because it's very important to nurture our soul! I hope that makes sense. You're like an Empress btw! Sometimes it feels good to just tell yourself that lol I got it tattooed on my shoulder and it helps when I look at it when I don't feel good.

I also feel like your guides want you to spend more time brainstorming ideas and solutions because if there's a will there's a way basically! You said you couldn't afford an apartment on your own, this is my advice personally but maybe there's a friend or a relative you're close with that you can talk to about getting a shared apartment together and splitting the rent with or maybe you could do AirB&B (if you feel comfortable) and rent out your apartment if you get an extra room.

With the Chariot I feel like it's another reminder that you're going to come out on top of any war! There's going to be movement! With the Eight of Pentacles it's literally talking about you working on your craft, whatever that means. I kept hearing a message about you getting employment soon! You're going to be getting a job or maybe even working on your own personal business if you're into that or have been thinking about it, something along the lines of that but you're going to be running into some abundance through an opportunity. I feel like some of your negative thoughts are also blocking you from a few opportunities, it could even be blocking your intuition or maybe making it harder for your Angels to send you downloads. They might get in contact with you soon, via dream or maybe download, maybe something big and significant or maybe something small and simple, either way you'll notice it so don't try so hard to make it happen, just let it!

I hope this resonated and felt helpful! I'll pray for you! I hope everything you wish for comes true! 💕

-Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

[ggukiepie]

WOWOW. one of your girls is so yummy.

very excited for next part and to see your perspective and ideas.

but for me i think we’d need more angst rather then revenge. im assuming jk has lots of friends who he sleeps with and its not just yn. which means to him yn is nothing special (unfortunately) thats why i dont see the point of ‘revenge’ because realistically i dont think jk really cares if yn fucks with someone else which has been proved in already the first part. (jk knows yn sleeps with jimin yet doesnt seem to really care and only wants sex.) he only looked for her to sleep with her in the first place & not because he wanted to have a friendly conversation or check up on her. he started touching her before he knew about her sleeping with someone else.

its kinda the same with yn as yn also slept with jimin (which was so hot.) , except she seems to be interested in jungkook. but i dont think yn is really letting jk walk all over her because shes well aware that jk sleeps with other woman and she knows he lied to her yet choose to not speak up. although i love how she can control herself cause if i was in her place id try bring attention to myself and make jk jealous OR js go up to him and slap him especially when he said he ‘just’ left the party while he has a red stain on his shirt 🥸 but by the way she controlled herself and didnt even let jk know that she saw him with another woman, it seems like she knows her feelings wouldnt matter to him because its probably casual for him to be with another (multiple) woman each night.

AND FOR THAT REASONNN^^^ i think the song suits it smmm 😣😣 it fits so perfectly. ive been nonstop listening to the song before i read it and its the first story that im so interested in to write about my opinion. ANYWAYS BACK TO THE STORY.

so maybe shes okay with just simply being one of his girls because she knows she wouldnt be anything more & also she may not want to stop sleeping with him because thats the only way he can be close to her relationship wise.

which means yn is literally just one of his girls for some of his nights. I LOVE THAT SMSMSM. also everything here is simply my opinion and arguments as to why there should be more angst rather then revenge for atleast now until theres more development in their characters and we’d know more. althought idk how many parts ur willing to give in for this. BUT thats simply my perspective, if u think of the story differently and wanted to choose a different way for them thats cool too

i talk alot im gonna stfu now but i really like ur writing and ur idea for it was really cool. im waiting for the next part, take ur time and i hope everythings well for you. 😁

-soo ??

nooooo you're literally so so sweet. thank you so much for taking the time to send me this message. i love ur review !!

im glad u got to see how i related the song and the story. yeah, yn is a bit...not in the right head space 😭 atp she's already given up on the chance that maybe jk might like her back. ofc she can't help but feel sad bc she fell for him. ure right that she's content with being one of his girls, she'll take whatever jungkook gives her :( she didn't even have to ask jk if he slept w that girl bc she already knows 🤧

on jk finding out abt yn and jimin - jk did ask her if they're friends "like us?" i wonder what he meant 🤔

maybe i can write a short backstory of yn and jk hmmmm

[wxniesrxse]

卄卂ㄩ刀ㄒ乇ᗪ 卄ㄖㄩ丂乇

part 2

Warning: cussing 🤬

𓁹ᔕᑭOOKY ᗰOᑎTᕼ𐦂

"JAMES! JUSTIN! JIHOON! Help! " you hit the closet door as hard as you can. You weren't gaining anything from it so you stop banging on the door.  You turn to look behind your back and the tunnel was still glowing behind you.

Should I check it out....maybe there is a good reason why Leo and Wonie would push me inside here...right?...

You start to crawl towards the extended tunnel on your knees and hands. Messy hair dangle to the side of your teary and sweaty face. You kept crawling endlessly but it seems you couldn't find the exit door...no... you can see it now.

It was another door similar to the one you just enter-

Or more like they pushed you inside without your permission. Instead of feeling angry, you felt so sad that two of the boys you liked did you dirty like that. Although this tunnel is pretty, you don't know what it is and what is going on behind that door.

Is this something similar to Alice in Wonderland? Am I going to see a different world? Or am I going to die?

Suddenly you heard a big bang coming from the door you are crawling towards to.

I'm gonna die...

Once you reach there you open the door and let it go. You saw how it look behind that door.  Finally, you walk out of that tunnel and down the porch of the house. It is like you just got out of the haunted house except that this time the world looks darker. There are no leaves on the trees, no bushes, and no grass, everything looks dry and boring. Even the small house looks empty and haunted.

" Where am I...." You mumbled questioning the situation you're in.

"You're on the other side of the world, the dark side..."

"WHAT?!!" You back off from the stranger that randomly appeared behind you.

" Who are you!!!?!?" You shout angrily at him.

" Hi, I'm Jo Woochan, and I've been stuck here for..." he started to think looking up at the dark night sky which didn't have any stars nor a moon.  " like a month I think..."

" A MONTH?!" Once again you shouted. Seems like today is the day you shout your heart out.

" B-but h-how did you manage to survive a whole month," then the realization hits you. "That means...you haven't found a way to get ouuuuuut!" You started to cry and panic. "I shouldn't have listened to Leo and Won! Argh! I'm so stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" You hit your temples with your fists.

"Uhh, your boyfriends?" Woochan asked raising an eyebrow.

" N-no, I mean I like both of them but-"

" you like two guys at the same time?! " the boy said scared and surprised.

" actually 3, but they're just my friends and will always be..." you said in a sad tone.

" SO ARE  YOU ONE OF THOSE GIRLS-"

" NO WOOCHAN!" You were about to smack his head but then he is a stranger and looks the same age as James, JayJay, and Jihoon-

" OH MY, I AM SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING CARE OF THEM!!" You widen your eyes in panic.  I think I'm gonna die today from a heart attack.

" Them?" Woochan asked.

"Yeah my little friends, James, JayJay, and Jihoon, they are over there alone with those mean guys...we'll except for Yorch..."

Woochan listens to you carefully but once you mention your younger friend's names he widens his eyes and walks closer to you. " Zhao Yufan? Takagi Jay and Han Jihoon?" He asked.

HOW DOES HE?!...

"Yeah them! How you know their last name-"

" THEY'RE MY CLOSEST FRIENDS!!" He said happily.

" Really?" You scrunched your face in confusion. " they've never mentioned you.."

" TELL THEM I'M HERE TELL IM-"

" HOW I CAN'T EVEN GO BACK INSIDE" You shouted feeling stressed about the situation. "...now that I think about it...they did mention you...I remember them talking to each other about searching for their missing friend...so it's you..." you thought out loud.

"INHYUK! JUNIL! Come over here!" Woochan shouted.

"Huh? Who is...oh?" You saw two guys running towards you two. Well, they're cute...WAIT  YN?? Don't you dare to have a crush on them too!! YOU UNMORAL WOMEN!

Hopefully, they're 19 or 20...

" Y'all found anything?" Woochan asks his eyes glancing at their plastic bags. "Yeah, I found a walkie-talkie...I don't know if it works, and I found a watch for time..." the guy named Junil said as he showed each item to Woochan.

" I found a roll of paper towels, and one feminine pad," The guy named Inhyuk look at you and smiled. " you might need this..." he said gesturing the pad to you. You would laugh in this situation but you are NOT in a good mood. " not using this shit!" You look away from the dirty pad.

" Sorry, I was just trying to be helpful..." Inhyuk said as his smile faded from his handsome face. Woochan notice this and didn't like the way you talk to him. He walks up to you. " look YN, I know you are scared, so are we, and we have to try to find a way to get out of here but this boring world does not have many options for us...so please stay calm and hang on," He smiled showing his deep dimples on his cheeks.

" YN, is the first female to enter this world....us guys can be so stupid," Junil joked. " YN, that makes you a brave one!" Inhyuk grin. " or a dumb one-" Junil stop talking once you look at him in shock. " I'm sorry YN," Junil immediately said.

" You are right! I am! I shouldn't listen to those guys, I shouldn't have agreed to come with them to explore the haunted house! I'm so stupid!" You started to break down again. " and Inhyuk I'm sorry for being rude to you about the pad! Give it to me! I will need it.." you said looking at him with sorrowful eyes.

Inhyuk quickly takes out the pad from the pockets of his dark grey hoodie. He gives you a quick smile before looking away from you. "So, guys I found something last night when you two were sleeping," Woochan said pulling out a folded paper from his pant pockets. He opens up the letter and reads it. "To get the fuck out of this," Woochan paused as he look up at them 3.

"Yeah, this person will cuss in here, anyway. To get the fuck out of here, one of you has to wait here until more humans come in. Once they enter you have to kill a man and a woman. Once they're dead, bring them to me, so I can feed from them, then...my dear precious friend you can leave this world.

Sincerely the WITCH of the dark woods"

Everyone was awestruck by what they heard. "so that means, that any of you boys can kill me and another guy here," you said feeling terrified. "No no, we ain't doing that! We have to get out of here but not in this way!" Woochan said trying to be positive. "The witch said that's the only way! And I'm feeling so desperately! I wanna get out of here!" Junil shouted walking away from them.

" I think we should keep an eye open on him..." Inhyuk gulped the ball of saliva stuck inside his throat.

"Why?" Woochan asked.

"He could betray us... he just said he feels desperate..." Inhyuk gestures his hand toward Junil.

" no, I don't think he is capable-"

" I agreed with Inhyuk," you said interrupting Woochan. Inhyuk glanced at you with a small smile liking that you agreed with him. "I don't know Junil as you two do but, I think we should protect ourselves from him, or...I should protect myself from you three since I'm the only woman here," you hugged your body.

" I- you don't have to worry about me hurti- I mean us we won't do that...we need to think more..." Inhyuk said trying to assure you Woochan and he won't hurt you.

" That's right, for now, let's just rest, and tomorrow we'll see what we can do..." Woochan said starting to walk away from them. "Follow him, we have our little house," Inhyuk said gesturing you to go first in front of him.

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" WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE IS NOT HERE?" James shouted as he was feeling angry and scared. "YOU GUYS WERE WITH HER!"

"Yeah, but she said she'll check the room and after she left we went to follow her and once we got there she was not there anymore! Honestly, I'm shocked and scared too!" Leo said." let's look for her now!YN! YN!" Jihoon shouted already searching upstairs. Everyone did the same.

JayJay notices an old vintage-looking closet in the middle of the room. "Maybe she's hiding here just to scare us," he said walking over towards it and opening the door. The neon blue and purple light shone on his face. "WOAW! What's this? GUYS! Come over here!" JayJay screamed.

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Hello everyone! Thank you for reading this chapter! I'm hoping y'all like it!

Part 1 👇

[phantalgia]

9/9/24 - COVID thoughts, Can't Stop Arguing In My Head, Financial Troubles

I’m unsure if I should separate these things into seperate diaries because we have: COVID progress, arguing in my head, and financial troubles (although I’m not sure to what extent). Knowing me, I'll just ramble on about every thing and get too much done. Anyway let's try.

COVID Progress

I think the good news is that my heart hasn't been too much of a problem recently. I suspect that it's mostly triggered by a consistent usage of my heart via exercise. There will be an occasional weird event but it never leads to a spiraling event.

Not sure what changed, but what has changed has been some new symptoms of symptoms I've exerperienced before just more extreme. Also coming and going. Puffy hands and a feeling of my thumb about to pop, extreme nerve pain especially headaches, eye artifacts, tinnitus, pissing myself, nausea digestion issues, dizziness, short of breathe and that respritory alkalosis thing im more sensitive to.

Im pacing a lot still and cant seem to get my mind off things. The pacings themselves dont cause much problems until I become idle. There's a certain irony to them.

Yesterday I did something, I want to keep it private (nothing bad if thats what youre thinking), just caused those headaches to be even worse. I don’t know what to think anymore right now. Part of me doesnt believe I suffer with the things I do and I should get over them.

I mentioned before how these symptoms really feel like things I've experienced before just taken to 11. It's true. Which makes me wonder if there's more to my pre-covid issues. I don’t know. This stuff, ontop of my obsessions, ontop of my idleness in life have really been tearing me down right now. I don’t know where to go. My spelling and ability to think has gotten worse.

The Fake Arguments In My Head

What purpose do these serve? I’m having fake arguments with fake or past people in my head all the time. Man am I that angry? It's not helpful. I’m not gonna prove anything to anyone. Why do I care? It's really the bottom of the barrel stuff getting into "debates" and arguments.

Really, just talking or writing in spaces where you’re free to is better. Not isolated individuals. They just won’t get it and spur of the moment interactions arent good places either. It's a waste of time and even if I were to do it I should take my advice and use personal experience and an introduction to my world instead.

This doesn't help the obsessive arguments. Gosh where did these come from, they're not productive. They cause unnessesary adrenaline surges that I already experience. I don’t need more. I know it's from self hatred, and the disappointment of people coming to unhealthy conclusions about the world after disillusionment.

I read "Does The Left Have Snobby Purity Culture" by Mark Fisher. It was good, I think it was necessary self reflection that I’m being a snobby purist to myself. I have my own inner monolouge punishing me for my past instead of moving forward. My on "leftist" twitter mob canceling me in my head.

He's made good points in that article, many of these people come from positions of privilege and still haven't existed the individualist conditioning modern culture has. Control over others behavior while they are still in process of unlearning isn't fair and is a problem for the left. I dont think many of these people are true leftists. Apologizes for using purity tests myself now.

But yeah, these people still follow a particular set of bourgeois standards that they expect others to follow. They think they have completely disentangled themselves from the dominant cultures grip on them. But just like the gambler who claims to be "an exception to gambling's psychological trickery" nobody is immune to the shadow of dominant culture.

I need to give myself a break here, these fake arguments arent healthy. I don’t know where to go to stop. I still want to filter out people who are right wingers from my sphere of association. But often times people on the left don’t want to hang out with me. So it's like what is the point? Why be a leftist if you have no solidarity in your heart? No vision for something more out of life. Ugh anyway moving on...

Financial Troubles? And Healthcare in the US Rant

Speaking of leftism. Let's talk about how I’m doing with capitalism. Not well. In fact my insurance was billed $700k, yes $700k for simple blood work. Right now, the thinking is "clearly that's a mistake" and it probably is. I get the healthcare system is bad. But it can't possibly be THIS bad.

Bloodwork is still outrageously expensive but to have it cost almost as much as a god damn house?! Even though those houses are still just as expensive. Oh who am I kidding, we're being ripped off out of everything.

It doesn't make sense and it's probably a mistake. Or has to be I mean there is no way. Right now for the past year Ive been a play thing for doctors and a bank for this shit. The amount of times I keep getting sick and feeling sick is making me go through money. Even with insurance.

At some point I gotta give up on going to the doctor and just rot. I cant risk losing more money that I need just to survive. I’m lucky to have insurance but it's really just pathetic how much you still pay.

I still cant believe Americans put up with this. Why cant we all just do a medical debt strike, march on Washington and demand a universal healthcare system? Why are we so pathetic? If this was happening in any other country there would be riots but we've put up with it for years now.

We'd be saving so much money on medical costs and not be giving money to a system that pays for yachts. I mean their entire business model requires that they NOT pay any way they can. Who the hell thought this was a good idea? And why are we still being gaslit?

Really these businesses should be non profit cooperatives with municipal or government subsidies and monitoring. Or even better, a syndicate system connecting them all so they can help out each other based on need. Doctors, nurses, and patients could be representitives to these institutions and have open platforms to discuss funding, and planning and so on.

It'll probably also help in eliminating the toxic power dynamics between doctors and patients. And give patients more power. Easy access to medical knowledge should also be open source to everyone from patients to doctors and should be emphasized. Sigh, but one can only dream I guess.

Done

Anyway, I’m done here. I don’t know what else to say or do today. I just don’t feel good. I want friends, i want community, i need help...

[tartrazeen]

My thoughts have started up again 👏🏽

I had that post the other day about a concept I'd been toying with: Rohan potentially being autistic. I'm still a little nervous to commit to that, because I'd want to do it justice, but the one thing I can commit to is that he grew up on the outside of all the other children.

That's really stuck in my head. I'm honestly not sure if he's ever had an interaction with someone on the show - other than Angus - where it actually started as something positive. Think about it:

Deirdre starts off yelling at Rohan to remember his place, you lowly apprentice

Ivar starts off stringing Rohan up by his foot, you lowly thief

Garrett starts off by immediately offering to kick his ass, you lowly braggart

Lugad comes out IMMEDIATELY swinging, you lowly weakling

Even Conchobar yells at him a little. Fin Varra tries to crush him between some rocks. Cathbad technically starts off defending him, but also summons a skeleton - which Rohan thinks is cool, so I guess we'll still count that as positive.

... I am just noticing now that every time Rohan met another one of the Mystic Knights, Angus was there too.

Interesting 👀

I digress uwu

Rohan's grown up - and still lives a life - with people coming at him with hostility for this reason or that one. And he takes it in stride. It's really like he's used to it, along with disappointing everyone. That's where the people pleasing side shines. He's so weirdly accepting of everyone thinking he's weird or unworthy or someone to put back in his place, and it's truly only Angus who's been at his side. That's why he emphasizes it when Angus is enchanted into fighting Rohan: he needs his best friend beside him. Not Cathbad, not his team, but Angus specifically. Angus is Rohan's rock.

(tee-hee pun)

👀

r u thinkin wut im thinkin

👀

What if Angus was just as bad?

We know how Rohan and Angus met Cathbad. By then, they were already friends. But as I was writing that post about Rohan coming across as autistic-coded, and Cathbad thinking Angus was another village kid taking advantage of Rohan's kind nature...

And then there was some other random post about character dynamics, where two people were each other's guard dog and actually enjoyed it or didn't care. Angus is so loyal. Rohan's loyal right back, but Angus is SO LOYAL.

That mashed together into me remembering that much older idea (was it this post? 🤔) of Rohan getting knocked out in a forest after a storm, then waking up to see Angus peering down at him, the first thing Rohan sees when his vision comes back. And from there, they're friends.

So I'm picturing Rohan being in a village. Not one near Kells yet (I still adore the idea of Angus moving them from place to place to stay ahead of the Temran army), but one where Angus and some other kids live.

And they bully him.

He's weird. He's strange. Maybe he's new to the village. He's too trusting and sincere. He's the easiest target to be picked on, even with a stupid sword, because what's he gonna do? Fight them? They're innocent villagers, and 'knights' don't hurt those. Except he's not a knight and never will be.

I'm imagining a time where Deirdre actually asks Rohan how he and Angus became such good friends, while she's watching him grind herbs for Cathbad at the druid's How're. Maybe she's realizing how hard true friendship is to find, and muses that it must be because she's a girl. Surprisingly, Rohan says it can be just as difficult for boys. That catches Deirdre off-guard; he and Angus are practically inseparable. But Rohan shrugs and says it's different now from how it was back then. Now, yes, they are inseparable. Growing up...

She pries into it until he admits none of the other kids liked being around someone who never stopped talking about being a knight. Some kids would even be cruel. Dangerous. Deirdre thinks that surely he can't mean Angus, but Rohan says Angus used to be the worst one. Everybody liked him, and he had so much influence over the others that Rohan couldn't escape it. Angus would get the others to come up with 'warrior training' for him, trapping him in caves or throwing dirt or whatever little mean thing they thought might be fun.

This is beyond shocking for Deirdre to hear. I doubt she'd even believe it. But Rohan might mention that it's part of the reason Cathbad's been so reluctant to fully accept Angus. Rohan's moved on from those scars, and Angus has made up for everything that happened when they were kids a hundred times over, but memories take longer to fade for druids, and Rohan had eventually told Cathbad everything.

Deirdre asks what changed for them. Rohan says he 'won' Angus' friendship. There was a witch, apparently, that lived in a particular forest. Angus had dared Rohan to prove himself to the kids by going to that witch's house. The trouble was, the witch's house didn't exist. The forest where it was supposed to be was known for being almost endless - so many had been lost before, and Rohan might've been the next one. But he was prepared to brave it if it meant he'd win something.

Angus had laughed and asked what Rohan wanted for this.

Rohan said he wanted a friend.

Angus and everyone else absolutely howled. But sure enough, he agreed, saying that if Rohan went to the witch's house and brought back proof, Angus would be his best friend.

Rohan had said it had to be forever.

Angus promised they'd be best friends 'til the day they died.

So they agreed.

The day Rohan went in, he left a trail for himself, carving into the trees to find his way back. But he wouldn't be returning until he found this witch's house. The day faded, night set in, and still nothing. Another day passed, and that one brought a storm.

Rohan was blinded by the rain, none of the trees offering any shelter from it. The pain of its cold sting kept him awake at least, enough to keep searching. On and on he looked until finally, the worst happened: a tree shattered from lightning and landed on Rohan, pinning him under it.

Another day passed as Rohan passed out.

He wakes up to someone gently slapping him. With the sun overhead and his vision blurry, it's like some otherworldly, glowing shape of light. A few more smacks, and Rohan's eyes adjust to see Angus, standing over him and asking if he's dead. Rohan's woozy, not dead, but definitely trapped.

Angus says he followed Rohan's trail after there was no sign of the boy returning. There wasn't really a witch's house, but there was a storm, and Angus wasn't so cruel as to let Rohan die out here just because he wanted a friend. (He would wait two days before going in after Rohan, though.) It kind of stopped being funny when it turned out Rohan was that desperate.

He says all this while digging Rohan out from under the tree. When Rohan's loose, Angus shrugs and says they should head back, but Rohan says he isn't leaving until he finds the witch's house.

Angus is annoyed. He'd just said there was no witch's house. That was a joke. No sense dragging it out anymore, so time to go back.

Rohan asks if Angus will be friends with him. When Angus laughs, Rohan says he's staying until he finds the witch's house. And then he starts walking (limping) deeper into the forest.

Angus, genuinely confused, starts running after Rohan, saying there's no witch. After Rohan ignores him, Angus just... trails along, eventually asking why Rohan has to be so weird all the time. Maybe he'd have some friends if he knocked it off with all the big talk about being a knight. Kids like them didn't become knights. All Rohan ever seemed to do was rub that in their faces.

It'd be a slow, careful conversation. The two would talk for the first time ever, and Rohan - still weird - might say a few odd things that actually get Angus to laugh. A nice laugh. Not the cruel one he'd only ever had before. But no matter how many times Angus brings it up, Rohan refuses to go back until he's found the witch.

They stay another night in the forest. Angus doesn't hate it. Rohan notices how different Angus is when he's not surrounded by the other kids, and Angus shrugs, not getting into it.

When Angus wakes up the next morning, he's alone. And he instantly panics, thinking he's been abandoned in the forest. It'd be the perfect revenge, actually. And in the minutes of terror flooding his head, he thinks he's a fool to let his guard down like that. This was a stupid idea, and he's doomed himself with it.

Then Rohan appears. He's brought breakfast. He was foraging while Angus was asleep.

All is instantly forgiven once Angus is fed - and Rohan's very proud of himself for finding something Angus likes.

But he still isn't going back. Not until he finds the witch.

Angus sighs and says fine, they can be friends if they just go back. Rohan asks if they're going to be best friends - for life, like the deal said. Angus is very, very hesitant to openly yell 'no,' but that hesitation is all Rohan needs to pack up and keep searching the forest.

Angus comes along, because at this point, he may as well. But Rohan has to stop for him a lot. He doesn't ever do this much walking.

There's no witch's house. But there were people who went missing in this forest forever. Rohan's not afraid - not as much as going back to that village - but Angus is starting to get creeped out. Just before he can ask Rohan to leave for the hundredth time, they suddenly hear it.

The witch.

Except it's not a house. It's a cave.

And that witch is a very, very big wolf.

(👀 loving that Angus has to fight the Rock Wolf when he's older to get his armour)

Angus freaks out and goes up the first tree he can. Rohan tries to climb up a different tree, but he's still hurt from when he got pinned. He has to duck under a different log, just barely getting away from the wolf's teeth, but it's started digging its way towards him.

There's not much time. Rohan's trying to slash at the wolf with his sword, but he can't seem to hit it hard enough from the angle he's at. But Angus, in the trees, some having been freshly struck and still smoldering from the storm's lightning, sees a massive tree limb that could fall if he could just get to it.

He's climbing over, moving as fast as he can, only to see a glimmer of metal in the leaves below him. That's Rohan's sword. What Rohan's fighting the wolf with is just a stick; he must've dropped it as he tried and failed to get up the tree. But that's almost lucky, because Angus can jump down now to get that sword. He snatches it up, getting back to the tree he needs to hack at to get the limb to fall.

As soon as the limb plummets to the ground, Angus drops the sword for Rohan to get. It's the perfect combination - the tree limb was a direct hit, and in the yelp of pain and confusion from the wolf, Rohan grabs his sword and finally scares the thing off.

They're breathless. They're tired. They're scared. But Rohan asks if that means he's won the bet.

Angus - out of instinct - says that wasn't a witch. But at the look of despair in Rohan's eyes, Angus finds himself saying, "... Well, I know knights can't lie. But I can. So... let's just say it was a hairy witch."

The walk back is just as weird as Angus expected, but there's an infectious joy and energy in how weird Rohan is. It's nice. Angus almost feels like he has someone keeping up with him for once, who doesn't mind how much Angus likes to talk, too.

Getting back to the village is a different story. The kids are cruel. Angus tries to awkwardly get them to ease off, but the moment they start to turn on him, Angus puts that down fast. Before morning, he's already decided he doesn't need to be here anymore. And him and Rohan are best friends now, right? So if Angus wants to go to another village, Rohan would come too, right?

I'm a little sleepy now (it's almost 2 am 😭) but the idea of this being a flashback episode to fully emphasize how close they are now absolutely delights me. I'd love to have some little callback after this, where Angus walks in to hear a short bit of Rohan's tale, right as Rohan's saying how loyal and caring and important Angus is to him. It's flattering, right up until Angus understands what they've been talking about.

Deirdre says at least they've outgrown all of that. It gives her hope for finding another princess to be best friends with. Maybe someday. But she leaves, happy to know friendship can blossom even under the worst environment.

In the quiet moment that follows, Angus shyly apologizes for everything that happened when they were kids. Rohan tries to brush it off, saying he's forgotten, but Angus tells him knights aren't supposed to lie. The small smile that earns gets Rohan to admit that it hurt to grow up with everyone thinking he was weird. He's glad to have Angus in his life, but he wishes it hadn't taken so much to earn it.

Angus says Rohan's always been gentle that way. He takes too much from people that shouldn't ever dare to give him that grief. But as Rohan agrees, he says it doesn't happen anymore. That's because of Angus.

There's a moment where Rohan stumbles to talk, but finally asks if Angus really is only friends with him because of a bet.

Angus thinks. The bet is what gave him the chance to get to know Rohan, of course. But no. He loves Rohan, and that's because of who Rohan is as a person. He's Angus' favourite, weird ball of fire who actually became the knight he said he'd be.

Rohan asks if Angus is telling the truth.

Angus says of course he is. He's a knight now, too.

Rohan, on a lighter note, says that as long as Angus is sticking with that, what happened to the snack he'd left on the table for later?

Angus says he cannot lie.

And then he leaves.

Rohan has a good laugh at that. It's one of the many ways - big and small - that Angus has done so much to bring him joy. Maybe there's a pang of anxiousness as the feeling of "It was only a bet" comes back to him, but in the next moment, he hears Angus calling to him to stop doing chores and come home fun. Possibly as Angus finds a brand-new power on Cathbad's shelf to play with. 🥲

What I especially love about this is how it still ties into my 'Rohan Villain Arc' idea. It's further fuel for the fire: the specter of Angus' childhood bullying can so easily rear its head in that fight, slamming a wedge between them with it alone.

ok i am actually very tired i need to sleep now

[antonhousehold]

im in love with you, sorry; deku

prompt: there's this boy. he's an angel. he's always helping the people around him, just for the sake of seeing them happy. and when you met him, it's almost impossible not to fall for this boy. the only thing that is stopping you from confessing, is him. "you have constellation in your face"

genre: angst

reader: gn neutral

tw: angst, unrequited love, swearing, deku being totally oblivious, reader is really sad lol, regrets, humiliation (not by deku but the reader gets into awkward situations), injuries (not that bad, reader just faints) mentions of killing reader (just once and it was a joke)

note: hiii, this is my second angst lmao, please don't expect too much. english is not my first language so I'm pretty sure i'll be messing up with some grammar. sorry!!

if you could turn back time, would you have the courage to tell him the truth?

maybe everything would be different.

or maybe not.

you felt the sweat rolling down your face, the weather getting cold and the roughness of the floor. everything was blurry, and the only thing that you heard, was his voice.

"[name] can you hear me?!"

"open your eyes please!". you thought he was crying, and the last thing your blurry vision could see, was those beautiful green eyes, staring at you with so much fear. then, everything became white. the smell of medicine and the feeling of being stuck between your body and your mind, was suffocating. you're in the nursing. there's no noise around you, just a messy green hair that peeks over the couch.

"deku?"

he wakes up almost immediately as you say his name.

"dear lord! [name] are you okay?!" he approached your bed and his bright eyes let you know how concerned he was.

"what happened to me?"

"we were training in the gym, and it seems that denki was going really hard to you" his lips pressed between them and a sad face painted his beautiful features "and you fainted. we were so worry about you".

his voice. his words. everything was magical when it comes about him. you felt your heart ache when his calloused hands touch your face.

how he would react to your love towards him. would he accept it? would he reject you?

you'll never know.

"did I scared you?" you asked.

"i almost faint too. don't push yourself too much. we care about you"

'do you care about me just as much I care about you?' you asked to yourself.

"even kacchan tried to get into the room to check on you" his beautiful fingers were running in your hair, so delicately that you think you're about to fall asleep again. his shining eyes were staring at you. even his freckles looked like a constellation.

"your frackles are like a constellation. you have stars in your face"

and as you pronounced those words, his face painted in a vivid red.

"don't say something like that"

'does your heart beat as fast like mine?'

"please rest a little. I'll be checking on you"

"you don't need to. you have stuff to do, Izuku"

he moves his head in disapproval. "nothing is more important than your health and your life. stuff can wait"

you want to kick him. how is it possible to him to be so kind with you? he makes you feel like you're the most important thing in the world. he makes you feel special, loved. but behind his lovely words and actions, you know that he's being just kind. he's being friendly. he's just a good boy.

your boy with stars in his face.

"can i ask you something?" he nods at your question. your blood rushes all over your body so fast, that you feel your body getting cold. maybe it's the medicine. maybe the pain in your back as you try to reach his face.

"i think I caught..."

the door crashes with all of your classmates.

"[name]! thanks god you're okay!" mina run into your bed almost crashing your bones into a tight hug.

"you're gonna hurt them" kirishima giggles.

then, you see a blonde boy coming to you. kaminari checks on you and your bruises. his face turns pale and his eyes starts to lose the light.

"I'm so, so, so sorry for everything I've done to you. I didn't realize how rough i was fighting. I've never wanted to hurt you. please forgive me" he says, at the edge of crying.

you laugh at his guilty face. "it was a mistake" you smiled at him "and i forgive you. you didn't kill me after all. but I'll get revange"

he chuckles and nods.

"you asshole" scoffs bakugou at the back of the room.

after everyone checking on you, every single person leaves the room, except for Izuku. who takes a little bit longer to see if you fever was rising.

"i'll talk to them and i'll be back. don't move"

"as if I could" he giggles.

his presence fades between the door and the corridor. you rest your head in your pillow, thinking about your almost-confession.

'i think i caught feelings for you. i'm in love with you, sorry'

you were about to open your heart, just for him. you wonder about his answer. you wonder how his hands could cup your face while staring at you with so much love. you want that. you want him to love you. you want him to hug you tight before heading to the dormitories. you want to run your fingers over his fuzzy and messy hair.

you want him so bad that it hurts.

your face turn to your right, just to see mina's backpack in the floor. you think in the important homework that aizawa talked in the class, and you worry about your friend. you try to get up, even with your sore legs. you rush over the door, hearing their voices in the next corner. you were about to yell your friends name, when you hear your own.

"i feel so bad for [name]. i didn't want to hurt them. i swear"

"we know, kaminari. it was an accident. shit happens" says mina.

"talking about [name], how's your relationship with them going on, midoriya" you think this voices is from sero.

"relationship?" asks.

"yeah. you're a couple, right?"

Izuku keeps quiet. you would like to see his face.

"im not in a relationship with them. we are friends"

"i thought you were together. i mean, they're always staring at you like your are the most beautiful thing in the whole world" kirishima voice echoes in your head.

your blood is running even colder than before. even your legs shakes a little.

"we are just friends" he says putting a little bit more of enphasis in his words. "i think of [name] as a friend. maybe a sibling. they're important to me, but I don't think I could ever date them. it's not my thing and I'm not looking for a romance right now in my life. i want to do other things that are more important, than a romantic relationship"

you alredy knew. you knew he couldn't love you, but still, you hoped that maybe, and just maybe, he would feel the same way.

it hurts.

"oh, come on, midoriya. they're a good person. i think they would be a great partner"

"even if it's like that, im not interested. i love them, but in a different way"

you felt the knob choking your throat. the warm and salty tears running all over your cheeks. you want to be alone. so you return to the room, walking as fast as your pain let you. at this point, you don't even know which part of your body hurts the most. your legs. your back. your arms. your heart.

you can't even see clearly with the tears blurrying your vision. so this is his answer.

but you still feel stupid. because you knew. you alredy knew he couldn't love. he couldn't be the izuku that you want him to be. you wish you could change your heart. just for another one. another heart that doesn't love deku so deeply.

you feel again the comfortable pillow behind your head, hugging you or so you felt. you can't stop thinking about his words. you can't even be angry at him, cause he's not a bad person. you can't blame him just for not corresponding your feelings. you can't be that selfish. he's only working over his dreams.

and sadly, you're not one of his.

but his one of yours.

the door opens, his face tired and big eyes stared at you with worry.

"[name]! what's going on? do you feel any pain? i'll call the nurse. don't worry. just don't cry please"

and you can't help but cry more.

he's a truly angel. even when he broke your heart, he still worries about you.

"im in love with you. sorry"

OMG! i wrote that. i hope it was sad enough. i also think I messed up with a lot of grammar, but i think it's understandable lol.

thank you for reading!!

[technowoah]

THESEUS - a dsmp story ( DreamSMP x Queen!Reader)

CHAPTER FIVE : AND I REALIZE THREE FUNDAMENTAL TRUTHS AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.

Chapter Summary: You had gotten what you wanted, but at what cost? Nightmares ensue, and Dream’s true colors begin to show.

pairing: c!wilbur x queen!reader

an// IM BACK!! hopefully yall like this chaper cause this is the last one that I wrote in the past, Im writing chapter 6 rn so it might take a while. Also sorry for not posting requests I really wanted to get this chapter out there

⚠︎ swearing, dsmp spoliers(?), angst, arguing, smoking, explosions, gaslighting(?), not proofread.

Series Masterlist 

"Good job you two! This is all yours now.”

Dream had led you and Eret back to the castle, all of them still battered and bruised from the war they recently had. You had already taken off your armor and now you were wearing underneath your L'Manburg outfit that was torn and burnt showing some of your skin which was also burnt or cut. You had noticed on the way to the castle that Dream had kept on looking at the outfit that Eret and you had on with disgust, like a taunt.

You could finally relax in the huge castle that you apparently deserved because you and Eret had taken the first lives of the citizens of L'Manburg. In your heart you knew that L'Manburg was still a country. They all have two more lives and they will build the country up again with those two lives. You sighed then kept walking into the throne room. you looked at the two big thrones that sat next to each other. One for a king and one for a queen.

"Why are you standing there? Sit down! Relax!" Dream patted one of the thrones.

You and Eret had sat down on the thrones next to each other looking around the huge throne room and Dream smiling right in front of them. Once you both sat down you tried to sit up straight, but you wanted to slump down into the comfy, plush, velvet and gold chair. The two of them sat on velvet and gold thrones while in burnt and torn L'Manburg uniforms. It was a sight to see, and if someone didn't know the context of what just happened, this scene would've made sense to them.

"I'm happy you did this. You deserve all of this." Dream said while walking along the marble floor.

"It's beautiful, but I'm exhausted." You let your head fall to the side. You sighed wanting Dream to leave so you could finally get some rest.

"I bet."

"Eret are you okay?" You spoke up after Dream.

Eret had a look that you couldn't make out. He just stared off into space in his own mind. He shook his head after you called for him again.

"Yeah, yeah I am fine. I'm just thinking." Eret quickly responded.

"What are you thinking about?" Dream said in a monotone voice.

"If we did the right thing." Eret sighed.

You slowly nodded because you were thinking the exact same thing. They were traitors, you had built somewhat of a connection with those people you helped kill. And now what? you're living in a huge castle and apparently you "Shouldn't be feeling this way", Dream claimed.

"You two are overreacting. They are fine." Dream said bluntly while staring at them with a straight face.

That was a huge lie, their lives were taken today. They're not just “fine”.

"You two were never a part of that place anyways. This is your home! Why would you need to wear those hideous colors? They look bad on you, it's unflattering. There is no need to go back." Dream explained.

You hang your head not knowing what to say to the man, there wasn’t really anything to say but you spoke up hoping the words will come to you.

"I don't-"

"You don't have to say anything, it's okay. You're safe now. Did you get hurt?" Dream asked.

The bruises and scars said differently.

"Remember when I said that?" Dream pushed the question.

You rubbed a burn mark on your wrist and laughed a bit. "No! Actually I don't. We're safe now, but that doesn't mean we aren't hurt." You chuckled in disbelief.

"Well maybe if you listened to me you wouldn't be so anxious. If you listened you wouldn't have been so hesitant. You're safe." Dream said sternly.

"Maybe you're tired, Dream. We're all tired. Shall we go to bed?" Eret stood up and held out his hand to help you up from your seat.

You accepted his hand and started to follow Eret through the huge castle making your way through the huge, high ceiling halls. The three walked towards the king's and queen's room in the castle, Dream kept a slower pace and walked behind the two wanting to get one more word in before leaving the castle.

"If you two are ever in doubt just remember that you are on the right side of history." Dream said then turned around to leave the two alone.

You both stopped and turned around to see Dream’s back facing the both of you as he walked away. You and Eret eventually made it to your new bedrooms. There was a big door which held a huge room made for the both of them to sleep in and two separate rooms next to the bigger door which were made for one person. Eret and you stood in front of the bigger door staring at the intricate designs on the door not speaking to each other.

"So?" Eret laughed.

"So!" You exclaimed while chuckling.

"Are you okay sleeping in that huge room tonight?" Eret asked.

"I'm not totally comfortable with that, but it would be weird if we slept in the same bed. Don't get me wrong! You're a great friend, but-"

"Y/N/N stop! I'm okay with that too. I wasn't looking to sleep in the same bed. Yes we're married, but we're just staying friends, hey we might get a divorce later." Eret explained.

"If I do, we won't be king and queen anymore." You said softly to your husband.

"Is that what you want? To be "queen"?" Eret asked while putting air quotes around the word queen.

You paused for a moment then answered his question.

"I don't know where I'm supposed to be, Eret." You looked up at him sadly and he pulled you in for a hug. It took you everything you had to not cry into the L'Manburg uniform Eret was wearing. Today drained you mentally and physically, your hands were raw from shooting arrows, you had burn marks on your skin and your feet hurt from running through the kingdom. You weren’t sure about where you would go, because this didn't feel like your home.

"Let's go to bed and we'll talk in the morning. Rest on it because I'll happily divorce you so you can find your place in this huge kingdom." Eret laughed and let you out of his arms.

You chuckled and then let him go walking into what was supposed to be the queen's room and right next to it was the king's room which they both walked in after saying goodnight and closing their doors finally having time to themselves after a long day.

You finally took off the L'Manburg uniform and laid it on a velvet chair in the corner of the huge room. You stared at the uniform before going to the nearest closet and picking out something to wear for that night. The queen's room was basically the huge couple's room that you found before, but just with a smaller bed. There were still trinkets, jewelry and even clothes in the closet. you took a nightgown out of the closet and sat on the plush bed. You ended up laying down staring at the high ceiling thinking of the predicament Eret's question brought.

You finally retired for the night and crawled into bed and got under the soft covers. The window was open so a soft cool breeze was blowing through the room letting the curtains flow with the breeze. If you left you wouldn't have anywhere to go except back to L'Manburg, they would never let you back even if you tried. They probably hated your guts by now, so maybe divorcing wasn't a good idea. You had a set home here, you had food, clothes, and you weren't under attack every minute. you didn't have to watch your back for any enemies.

Your mind slowed down as you finally lulled yourself into a deep sleep forgetting the troubles in your mind for only a moment.

-------------------

The sunset fell over the horizon making it a gold, red color. It was beautiful. The trees were illuminated and the lakes had a certain glow to them. you could see mobs began to crawl out of the ground and caves, but you was safe up here.

You looked down and saw the familiar obsidian walls. It seemed like a faint memory, but in reality the walls were real. It was like you could feel the stone underneath your feet at this moment. you could see inside L'Manburg.

you saw Tubbo and Tommy laying in the grass talking to one another. you saw Fundy sleeping in the grass next to them. There were two new faces you had never seen before. It was a woman with short pink hair and another man with a shaved head. It might've been your mind putting people in your dreams to fill space. Then you saw Eret sitting by a small river letting his bare feet flow in the water. It was a peaceful scene.

"Beautiful sunset isn't it?" A voice showed up beside you.

It was Wilbur. He had his uniform on, it was clean like the war didn't even happen.

"It is really beautiful." You agreed watching the sun continue to lower over the trees.

"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall." Wilbur said, keeping his gaze soft at the sunset.

You hummed but stayed quiet admiring his words and the sunset.

"Let me tell you what I wish I'd known when I was young and dreamed of glory. You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story. After you took one of my lives away I understand now. You can't control other people and their motivations."

You hang your head in disappointment, but then Wilbur continued.

"But I know that we can win. I know that greatness lies in you, but remember from here on in that history has its eyes on you. History will forever have its eyes on you no matter what you do." Wilbur looked into your eyes as the sun set on the two of them the stars began to shine.

The light brown eyes Wilbur had turned darker because of the sunlight being gone. You looked out back at the mobs in the forest and the huge towers in the sky made the kingdoms members. you turned around and looked into L'Manburg. Or what was considered L'Manburg.

There was no one there anymore, instead of people there were huge amounts of TNT that filled the walls behind them. you could hear faint voices around them, people that you didn't know. It sounded like chaos. you whipped your head around to Wilbur who was dressed in a brown tattered trench coat, brown pants, and a white shirt instead of the L'Manburg uniform.

He had a cigarette in his mouth and matches in his hands. He smirked at you as the voices around you got louder and your head sounded like you were in the middle of a tornado. your head was buzzing as your eyes couldn't focus on Wilbur in front of you. It felt like these moments were happening right in front of your all at one time.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?"

"You know if I die, this country goes down with me."

"if respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?"

"Kill me, Phil. Phil, kill me, Phil kill me! Phil, stab me with the sword, murder me now, kill me! Look-"

"You know Y/N" Wilbur started next to you. He lit a match and turned around to L'Manburg which was now filled with TNT.

"Somethings. Somethings were never meant to be." He threw the match into the huge pile of TNT and all in a second the obsidian underneath your feet disappeared as you fell into the explosion beneath you.

-------------------------

"Fuck! Where am I?!" You shot up from your sleeping position in a cold sweat.

You frantically felt around the bed trying to convince yourself that you were physically at the castle in your bed. You finally caught your breath and laid back down in your bed finding yourself staring at the ceiling again. Even with the window open blowing cool air into the room, your skin still felt hot. You ended up tossing the covers off of you and making your way towards the entrance of the kingdom to get some air.

That dream was so much stuff in it you couldn't comprehend all of it. It was like Wilbur was there as if he was talking to you directly and it wasn't a dream and it made you second guess yourself and think that it may have not been a dream. You finally made it outside and sat on one of the steps that led people up into the kingdom. you sighed and breathed in the fresh air and it immediately relaxed your body and mind. You were alive, you were here and sadly Wilbur wasn't there. You closed your eyes and felt the breeze around you until you were startled by a figure beside you.

"You're up late. I thought you said you were mentally tired." Dream chuckled sitting beside you.

"I had a bad dream." You sighed.

"Hey don't take my name in vain like that" Dream laughed trying to bring up your mood.

Dream sighed and stood back up when he didn't get a response from his companion.

"Come one, let's go. Let's get your mind off of the one bad dream." Dream held his hand out, gesturing to you to take it.

You took his hand and then released it letting him lead the way to wherever the wind may take them. The dream is currently still stuck in your head. The voices from different people confused you and made your head spin.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?" What did that mean? Was someone threatening Tommy? Will someone threaten Tommy? You grew to care for that kid.

Who said "If I die, this country goes down with me"? What country. L'Manburg?

"If respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?" That one stumped you the most. you didn't even know if this was being spoken to you or to someone else. All of them except for the Tommy one.

Were they all even dreams? The one that haunted your mind the most was the one where someone was telling a man named Phil to kill them. Were you there for that moment? Did Phil kill the person? Who was Phil? All these thoughts and questions plagued your mind so much that your feet mindlessly carried you wherever Dream led you to.

"Here we are." Dream led You on top of a hill, a tall enough hill to see the main attraction. The place you missed the most, L'Manburg.

Tears started to form in your eyes and you tried blinking them away. All the moments of that dream appeared in your brain, but even stronger. you never felt these emotions before. Maybe L'Manburg was your home all along. you missed seeing Tubbo, Tommy, Eret and Fundy doing their own thing while your and Wilbur had a deep talk inside the van. you had spent weeks with them growing too attached to them and then ended up becoming a traitor.

"That place. You never belonged there. You're too good for them." Dream started and you stayed quiet watching the stars begin to disappear.

"Do you trust me?" Dream asked.

You stayed quiet not having the answer he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear you say that you trusted him when in reality you couldn’t, you weren't fully there yet, not anymore. 

"They lied to you. It's not your home." Dream continued on letting you listen and not talk.

"How did you know if someone said it was my home or not?" You asked, startled.

"I might've been keeping an eye on you. I wanted to make sure my flower was okay." Dream kept his gaze on L'Manburg.

"Stop calling me that." You sighed.

"I never started. This was the first time I said that. Who called you flower?" Dream suddenly got serious, staring at you.

you kept your sights on the obsidian walls, not sparing him a glance. The stars began to fade and the sun peeked over the horizon. As they stayed longer the sun rose over the walls of L'Manburg. You started to remember the words in the dream you had.

"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall."

L'Manburg stands for independence. Independence. That word kept ringing through your head like a mantra until a few voices below the hill and near the walls alerted you.

"HEY! Hey Wilbur! Give me back my shit!" Tommy yelled as he stomped after the older man.

"Wilbur get Tommy to stop shouting and give him his swords back please!" Fundy yelled trailing behind the two.

"No not until he learns not to go start stabbing shit!" Wilbur yelled back at the other two.

You missed that. you missed the bickering and the nonsense they all shared. you were upset that Tommy still hadn't learned his lesson and you wished you were there beside them at that moment.

Dream spoke up giving you a look you couldn’t quite get. "You are never allowed to step inside those walls again.

"What gives you the right to tell me what and what not to do? Who does that make you? Who do you think-"

"YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO GO IN THOSE WALLS!" Dream yelled getting dangerously close to you.

You continued to stare at those blue eyes as the bright sun rose over the dark walls of L’Manburg. you didn't say anything but descended down the mountain alone with the sounds of Tommy, Fundy, and Wilbur bickering in the background, wishing you were there and not next to the man next to you who was staring at you angrily.

"I know what’s good for you! I know what's good for this country! Just trust me Y/N!" Dream yelled starting an argument

"Would you calm down! You came here to be all quiet and now you're yelling at me. You might want to be quiet before Wilbur hears you. Or do you want me to get him myself?" You yelled back, getting furious.

"Oh you wish! He doesn't care for you as much as me, Sapnap and George do! They agree as well!"

"Don't put words into his mouth!" You accused

"Oh! So if he cares so fucking much he would've help save you. And do you know what would happen if he saved you?! You would've died! I saved you! You were in a perfect situation and all you had to do is not complain! You're always overreacting." Dream ended with a huff and rolled his eyes while turning away..

you were speechless at this point. Overwhelming emotions consumed you. you couldn't believe you were overreacting. Maybe Wilbur wasn't everything you needed. you were overreacting, you were being selfish too. Dream was right. Dream walked over to you pulling you in a hug with L'Manburg was still in your sights.

"I did everything because I love you. You're too precious for them, you're not for them. They don't deserve you, you deserve someone who wants the best for you. A flower that needs a home and I'm here to give it to you." Dream softly explained.

Your eyes kept tearing up at the words and different emotions flowing through you. The sights on L'Manburg make your memories and questions come back. Where did you belong? But more importantly who was telling the truth?

Taglist: @hi-imuwu @k-l-a-w-s

[angloie]

Beach Trips and I'm Falling in Love 1/2

When Annabeth meets a strange boy on vacation, she doesn't expect for their relationship to grow much. He's... terribly sarcastic. Cocky. A not-so great match for her witty self. But after learning he visits the same beach every year she does, their strange friendship blooms into something more.

Their realtionship isn't the only thing that blooms over the yearsー that meaning a certain raven-haired boy.

genre ; childhood friends to lovers, fluff, strangers(?) to lovers, exchanging letters au, percabeth mortal au, 6.5k words.

warnings ; swearing, suggestive(?) themes.

Annabeth first falls in love with the beach at age seven during a vacation.

The airport was a little scary truth be told; new people and big security dogs. Though, the dogs are the things she likes most of the whole expirience. The plane there was much, much worseー she had never liked being so high up for so long. That's why Annabeth slept for most of it. (more like passed out.)

But now that she's woken up in a whole new setting, (that being her parent's cabin) her heart beats fastly with excitement. The unfamiliar aroma of saltwater and sand wafts into the bedroom, making her sniff deepy. The patched quilt that once layed on her is tossed to the wooden planked floors. Everything here is unfamiliar, whether it's the bedroom or the whole place itself.

Annabeth kicks her feet off the bed, rushing to the hallway. She practically bounces off the walls like a rubber ball. New, sights, new place, new people... She'll get the hang of it sooner or later.

Annabeth skids to a halt. "Can I go out?" She asks excitedly to the emptiness of the cabin, her voice echoing off the sparsely decorated walls. There's a pause. Then:

A voice pipes from somewhereー maybe the kitchen? "I dunno about that honey, we just-" Dad!

"Please! Just for a while!" Annabeth cuts him off and begs.

She can hear a sigh emit from him "Well, arlright..." There's a pause; most likely Helen shaking her head and laughing lightly. "But don't go too far! We don't know this place that well."

"Thank you!"

It only takes a second before Annabeth is already sliding her sandals on when she gets the ok to go, grabbing her sand castle building bucket and lathering on her sunscreen.

She beams brightly.

A vast blue sky, yellow sun, and glimmering sand. It's all so beautiful. Gorgeous. Alluring- though the seven year old doesn't quite understand what the new word means. She dashes somewhere, anywhere, excited to go see more. Meet more people! Collect sea shells! And it's fun. Fun with peeking under shells looking for crabs, getting her shorts wet from the water, getting tanned in the beating sun.

Annabeth loses track of time at one point or another. All she knows that the collection of shells in her bright red bucket are just so pretty, so why not collect some more?

'Don't go too far,' She can clearly recall her father's voice, 'We don't know this place all that well.'

That was maybe... three hours ago.

Now, the sun isn't hung that high in the sky. It's starting to dip beneath the ocean, red and orange staining the sky. The pale moon isn't visibleー but Annabeth knows that it might come out sooner or later.

Just a few more shells, she thinks, touge sticking from her lips as she struggles to carry the full bucket, Until I go back.

Where is 'back', anyways?

Annabeth doesn't know where she is right now. At all. Save for the patch of palm trees she had rested under for a while, far behind her.

Oh well. Right now, she tries to focus on collecting more shells. Now, where did that blue shell-

"Uh... What're you doing?"

The question comes as a shock to her, making Annabeth jolt slightly. She whips around.

To her left, there's, well... the ocean. To her right: A cluster of palm tress nestled in the sand. She does a full turn. Than another.

"What-" Annabeth starts in confusion, "Who's there?"

"Up here," The voice (slightly extageratted she might add) chides. It comes straight from the-

-The palm trees?

She comes face to face with blinking sea green eyes. Raven hair splays across the kids' forehead, hiding the tips of his eyes. The kids' legs swinging back and forth on one of the branches, palm leaves shaking slightly with him. Annabeth blinks owlishly in response.

"What're you doing up there?" Is all she can blurt out.

"Sitting," He says matter-of-factly. As if Annabeth couldn't already see that. "What are you doing?" The boy parrots, climbing down the wide trunk.

She steps back when he stands in front of her. He looks about her age, if she's correct. "Collecting shells?" Annabeth burries her sandal-clad heel in the sand. She picks up the blue sea shell she's had her eye on.

"Look, this ones-"

"That's mine!" The boy springs forward suddenly, taking the object from her hands. His eyes are wide like saucers. "You found my lucky shell!"

Annabeth falters. "A lucky shell? What's that?" She tilts her head in confusion. To be honest, that's one of the most ridiculous things that she has ever heard. Not that Annabeth would tell that to the person's face. That would be pretty rude.

When he doesn't respond from being too enveloped in the shine of the shell's blue coat, she grumbles.

"That isn't yours!" She says more loudly. It can't be, it can't! Shells don't belong to people; they're natural things! Aren't they? Plus, what even is a lucky shell?

He scoffs. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" Annabeth stares fully at the shell. "If it's yours, then prove it."

The boy huffs as he flips the shell over, shoving it right in her face. She has to take another step back to see it properly. More like to see the small letters properly. It's small, black, and messy, but Annabeth can make out the nearly unreadable scribbles.

PERCY . J

"You're Percy?" She looks back at him.

"Mhm!" The boyー Percyー beams. "So yeah. That's my lucky shell. I was looking for it for a while."

Her eyebrow twitches. "Oh..." Annabeth trails off, dissapointed. She wanted that shell. Dang it. "Are you sure?" He nods affirmatively, making her face droop. They both stay silent for a second, letting the sound of crashing against the shore take over.

Percy turns around. "I'm gonna go back to my cabin now."

Annabeth, as if breaking out from a trance, grabs his wrist. "Wait!" She yelps, pouting.

He turns back around quickly with a grumble. "What?

"D-do you..." She lets go of his wrist once she see's the judging look on the boy's face. "Do you know where the cabins are, by any chance?"

It's a weird question out of context, really, and Annabeth isn't sure why she asks him of all people. He probably doesn't know his way around either, not to mention that she doesn't expect him to answer.

It's comes as a surprise to her when he asks: "Which ones?"

Annabeth's lips tug upwards in a hopeful smile. "Uh..." She tries to remember where it is. "The ones with the really tall palm trees beside the shore?"

Percy pauses; his eyes look up into space as if he's looking for an answer from the gods. "Oh!" He looks over behind him, "Where there's this weird blue-roofed cabin to the right?"

"Yeah! That's The one!" She exclaims. Her face lights up with memory, thinking of the exact location.

"Oh," He looks directly at her now, "That's where I'm staying, too."

"Oh." Annabeth repeats.

"Yeah."

"Huh."

The Walk back is... Normal. They bicker back and forth, throwing subtle insults. At one point Annabeth bargains to take the blue sea shell back for three of the pink ones, but Percy refuses. She huffs.

"Where'd you get your lucky shell anyways?" Annabeth asks as her feet pads onto the slightly damp sand.

"My mom," He grins, holding it high above his head. "We found it here last year, and I just kept it! She said that it would be a nice souvenir." Percy says proudly.

She wants to ask more, prod more, but it seems like they're already at their detination. The tall palm trees. The weird blue-roofed cabin. Annabeth looks over to him, as it seems like the last time they'll ever see each other. Percy, however, looks surprised.

"You're my-" He freezes, looking back and forth at the two cabins in front of them. One is Annabeth's. And the other is...

"What?" Annabeth asks. "Something wrong?"

"You're my neighbor!?" Percy gasps, horror striking his face. He takes a disgusted shudder and steps away from the blonde.

"Don't act that disgusted!" She jokingly pushes his shoulderー with a little less than just 'jokingly' in the shove. "But this actually sucks. I don't really like you," Annabeth admits.

"Me neither!" Percy rolls his eyes. "Im going inside!"

She crosses her arms as she looks away. "Me too!"

"Goodnight!"

Annabeth doesn't know howー or whenー it happens, but their friendship blooms sometime along with way.

"Whatever!"

Scratch that. Friendship is too much of a strong word. For now, the two can settle on frenemies.

Plus, their frenemieship doesn't exactly happen umpormpted; it takes the parents to force them together. Aparently, Percy had told his mom about the whole scenario. Whispers come to talk, and there they are, sitting on the steps of Percy's cabin while the two's parents talk inside. Annabeth can hear the laughs coming from inside. It makes her seethe.

"Why'd you tell?" Is all she can mutter.

"My mom asked me where I was," Percy simply says, "So I did!"

"I had to thank you ten times because of that, and now look where we are!" Annabeth glared pointedly. "They're all buddies now. Ew."

He reels. "Shut up."

"No."

"Shut up!"

"I said no!"

The door creaks open, and they both freeze.

"Annabeth!" Frederick calls out, stepping onto the wooden deck. "Oh, it looks like you two have already bonded! How nice," He smiles, looking at the two of them who sit side to side. It looks like they had just had a deep convorsationー except not the one you'd expect. Percy's mom, who Annabeth heard her name was Sally, steps beside him with her own smile.

It's weird. This nice-looking, kind woman who is related to such a loser like Percy? Even being his mom? She can't see the resemblance.

"Aw, you two look like best buds!" Sally pats the two of them on the shoulder, warm smile etched across her face. Annabeth smilies in response, despite her thoughts: She has got to ditch Percy as soon as possible.

"Why don't you two go visit downtown?" She looks over to Percy. His scowl is wiped away once she does it, replaced with a forced grin. "It'd be nice for you two to hang out, wouldn't it?"

No, it would not, Annabeth wants to say. I dislike this dude very much.

But as her life goes, she never gets what she wants.

"Okay!" Percy smiles, standing up. He makes an attempt to leave Annabeth in the dust by walking as fast as he can, his actions being immediately noticed by her. All Sally and Frederick do is confuse it with excitement.

Downtown is a sunshiney place with colourful chalk on the shop walls that line the roadsides. There's a white marble fountain in the middle of the square, and a small grass filed where people play frisbee. Ice cream, pizza, ramen, you name it. The smells make both of their mouths water with hunger. Annabeth looks over to the hotdog stand with wantful eyes.

Percy's stomach grumbles.

"What?" He asks, embarassed, when Annabeth looks over at him. She looks away, rummaging through the pockets of her jean jacket. After pulling out a few green bills, she shuffles her feet.

"Here." Annabeth stuffs two of them in Percy's hands. "Let's go buy something."

He falters. "Wha- Thanks, but why?"

"My dad always tells me to be polite," She says formaly, head held high. "And I'm trying to do it. What? You think I actually like you? Please." Annabeth won't admit it, but she doesn't actually mean it.

Percy frowns. "Whatever."

It's bland as they eat, quietness shared between the two children. Annabeth chews dryly. Percy swallows thickly. They find a spot to sit; a colorful bench in the heart of all the comotion.

"No!" Annabeth groans when her half-eaten ice popsicle falls to the concrete ground. She pouts. "Aw, come on." The biker (the reason she accidentally let it fall) is long gone without as much of a glance.

Percy, on the other hand, eyes the red popsicle. He hasn't eaten his own yetー it being still wrapped up in it's yellow wrapper.

He offers it to her.

"Huh?" She takes it suddenly, eyes slightly shocked. Her mouth waters with hunger. "I-is this for me?" Annabeth asks. She peels the wrapper off begrudgingly, the sticky texture on her fingertips. It's blueberry flavoured. One of her favourites.

"Who else?" Percy rolls his eyes.

Annabeth scoffs. "I thought you were hungry."

"Yeah, but you seem pretty hungry too."

There's two sticks in the treat, meaning that they can split it. She does so, splitting it apart with a crack, and hands it back to him while looking away. "Here. Take this."

"Aw, you like me after all!" He nudges her, smiling widely and instantly popping it in his mouth.

"Its politeness!" Annabeth can manage for the word.

Percy isn't such a loser. And neither is she.

The stars twinkle brightly by the time they head back, cicadas and crickets back again to sing their songs. Percy looks at Annabeth while she enters her cabin. Her stares at her from his own doorway.

"Goodnight." Is all he says.

Annabeth doesn't know howー or whenー it happens, but their friendship blooms sometime along with way.

This time, Annabeth replies properly. "Goodnight."

The next week goes a lot like this: Percy comes over to her room, (Frederick and Helen has already taken a liking to him) beach ball in hand and sunscreen slathered on.

"Let's go swim!" He yanks the blanket from her half-asleep figure with a snicker.

"Leave me alone, doofus!"

She always complains, but goes with him anyways.

Some days it was Annabeth who woke him up. Some days she works up at the crack of dawn just to haul him to the beach where they swam for hours. Those days, she never complains.

But today, Percy accompanies Annabeth at the airport.

"You better write back to me," He crosses his arms and huffs as she gives a lopsided smirk. Her luggage, decorated with patches she had collected, stands at her side. Her Parents chat with Percy's with hugs exchanged and sad smiles. "Or else I'm not your friend anymore."

That's the first time Percy says she's a friend.

Despite that, she remains a steady face. Her heart is racing. "You can write?" Annabeth gasps, a fake look of shock on her face. When the boy gives her a dirty look, she chuckles. "Don't worry. I'm coming back here soon."

"When?" He asks instantly.

"Next year. Maybe longer." She replies, rocking back and forth on her heels. Her feet are replaced with her green sneakers, a change from a week of wearing nothing but sandals. There's a certain sadness lacing her tone.

"That's too long."

"I know."

They seem to be acting tough, possibly for their own sakes, but it all crumbles to the ground when they both tear up. They hug each other, tightly, as if they won't be seeing each other for an eternity. Maybe they will.

"I'll write to you everyday!" Annabeth promises, pulling away. Her eyes are puffy and her nose is running.

"You better!" Percy wipes his nose on his shirt. "And I will too!"

Annabeth can't quite keep the promise of sending letters every day, that being the reason of school and other things, but she and Percy can settle on every week.

It takes both their parents to pull them away from each other when the time finally comes.

Percy's letters always has his signature blue envelope. It's bright in her hands when she opens her mailbox a week after seeing him as she reads the front. Her name is misspelled three times, and the envelope is clumsily sealed. It's exactly what she had imagined. His mom must've written it for him, because the writing is ten times more neater. The words make her smile.

That night, she reads it again.

Annabeth sends her own letters, envelope and papers with owl prints drawn on. Like Percy, her own hand writing is messy. So she has Helen write most of it for her.

Back and forth through the four seasons. They both start to send little trinkets to the other, too: dried up flowers, favourite pens, even some of Percy's favourite candiesー blue Jolly Ranchers, but they seem to taste better when he sends it.

I seriously hate school, Percy writes in a letter one week, Everyone here sucks.

Well, not a few people, but a lot of people do. They're all rude. And suck ups. Even the teachers are like that! They all just act all better than me, just because. I don't really know why.

The next part is written in his own handwriting.

But of course, they're not! I beat them in dodgeball today, but i got a bruise on my cheek when I fell flat on my face. Nothing I can't handle!

Annabeth rolls her eyes at that, pen in hand while she reads the remians of it. She notes that there's a picture attached at the bottom with a obnoxious green paperclip. Taking it off, she stares at it.

Percy beams at her; er, the camera, a noticeable bruise square on his left cheek. A band-aid is stuck onto his forehead. Annabeth can only assume where it's from. For some reason the boy is smiling toothily. He looks exactly like he had been only a while ago, tanned skin and scrawny arms. His uncureable case of bedhead has also somehow stayed intact.

She sends her own picture: A amuture snap taken by her dad, standing in the sun at the park near her house. Her lips pull upwards into a wide, bright smile.

"Say cheese!" Frederick points the lenses to her.

Annabeth beams. "Cheeeese!" She giggles.

Percy doesn't want to admit it, but he'd spent more time than he liked staring at the picture.

Annabeth and Percy are right when they next meet again; though Annabeth likes to say that she's eight and three quarters.

The girl had arrived in the middle of the night while she was still snoring. Like last time, she had woken up in a bedー the same one as of today. Though she can't quite notice. Her body still radiates tiredness, mucsles sore and limbs unmoving.

"Annabeth!" Percy shakes the blonde awake, her hair messy hair shaking back and forth. She groans through her lips.

"Wha-" She flips over, looking at him. "Its- Percy!?" Annabeth jolts upwards, eyes wide and fully awake.

He smirks at her. "Hey." Percy stands up straight now, taking a step back. "Its been a while-"

Annabeth pulls him in for a hug. "i missed you!" She says, hugging him even more tightly. "So much!" Percy, after a second, hugs back with just as much happiness. His face burries in her shoulder.

"Me too," Percy replies, voice muffled. "So much."

It might be a long minute when they finally pull away.

"I-I was just being polite," Annabeth turns away with embarassment. "Don't think too much about it."

"Y-yeah, same."

They both know that they're lying.

After a while, it almost becomes routine. They spend a blissful week together playing on the beach. Both Percy and Annabeth cry their eyeballs out when they have to leave. The rest of the year is spent exchanging letters.

Summer of when they're twelve, Annabeth says something that makes Percy frown immediately.

"We won't be able to come back here for a while," She says, laying on the sand.

"Oh." Percy says. "That's what you always say. "So... You'll be here next year."

She sighs, looking at the waves lapping across the sandy shores. People swim happily in the cool waters, unlike them, who sit under the shade of a tall palm tree.

"...Right?" He repeats slowly, carefully, when she doesn't respond.

"No." Annabeth burries her face in her hands. "We won't be coming next year. Or the year after that."

"What!?" Percy''s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "And why not?"

"Helen, she... You know that the twins will be born soon. And my dad wants to take a break from vacations for a while." She grumbles.

"And that means-"

"We won't be coming back for a very, very long time."

Dread dawns onto Percy like a spotlight.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Then it truly settles in.

"Oh, no."

The next night is what Percy assumes to be the last night spent with Annabeth in a few years. That sentence makes him sick to the stomach, so he avoids thinking about it.

If he stops thinking about it, will it never happen? If he somehow begs Annabeth's parents, will she come again next year? If Percy, someway, hopes hard enough, will she be here next year, and the next?

His thoughts gnaw at him like rats. Laying awake in his messy bed, chapped lips and ruffled hair.

There's really only one thing that can help him now.

"Hey." Percy manages to sneak into Annabeth's room via window. Her room is chilly. He feels like scolding her for keeping her window unlocked, but then Percy would just sound like his mom. He nudges her softly. "Wake up."

Annabeth, groggy and sleep deprived, opens one of her eyes. "Hm? Oh..." Hse tries to keep her eyes open. "Percy?"

It's a small whisper. Her mouth is dry and her limbs are sore. Annabeth's pillow is dampened; she had just cried only hours prior before she passed out fron exhaustion. Its a bleak memory that A Annabeth cringes upon. She chews her lip.

"C'mon," Percy says, "Let's go to our spot."

Annabeth doesn't put up a arguement. She knows that he wants to spend the most time together as possible, and the feeling is mutual. She feels her own sort of sadness: An icky feeling that leaves her feeling all scummy when she remembers she wont see Percy for a very long time.

So she goes with him, cotton sweater flimsy flip-flops hastily threwn on. Their footsteps make the old wood creak, but thankfully, no one wakes from the noises.

Their 'Spot' is a hill, high above the rising tides. Its where they go every year. Its where they made memories. Its a place that they can't imagine ever staying away from.

The nightly wind is gone this particular night. It only leaves comfortable silence.

"So how long will you be away for?" Percy asks, pulling his knees to his chest. Hus eyes droop down.

Annabeth fiddles with a stick she found on the grassy ground. "I don't wanna say it. Its too long."

But after she hesitates, Annabeth gives in. "...Six years."

"What?"

"Six years," She repeats, more strongly this time, "That's my estimate."

Percy's breath hitches in his throat. Six years? Six years without her?

"That's forever." Percy comes to the horrible conclusion. No, no- there must be somesort of mistake! Annabethwill be here next year, and that's that. "Are you sure?"

Annabeth nods grimly. Her eyes are screwed shut, as if she cant see it, it won't happen. If she cant see, then maybe it'll all be a bad dream.

She's just like him.

They both know its futile to do anything else. To do something, one last thing, one last visit down, one more. Its bitterly cold. Saltwater invades their senses, and to be honestー they're both exhausted. From a week of long playing in the sun. From a lot of things.

For now, each others company is enough. To know that they're there, in person, is enough. Being together is enough.

So they lay there.

Hand in hand, shoulders pressed up together. The moonlight is the only thing helping Annabeth see in the dark, while Percy grips her hand tighter. The stars above... They're bright. Tiny, miniscule, but they're bright and shining. Like yesterday. Today. And forever. He sniffs. The sky is incoming and unchanging. That's how both Percy and Annabeth want it to beー unchanging between them.

The next morning is bland. Annabeth wakes up with a large amount of dread looming over her, like a heavy cloud of muck. From the clock on her nightstand she can read 5:02 AM; a time in which Percy is most likely fast asleep.

That doesn't really matter. They're goodbyes are said, long done, and that's that. Annabeth already had a bittersweet moment with Percy. Why ruin with a tearful goodbye?

It hurts to not say one last goodbye to him.

The airport. Even at such a early time, it still hums with livelyness and people's chattering. Well, you know what they say. The airport never really does stop working. Not for anyone.

If Percy was here now, what would he say? Give a last cocky smirk and throw a snarky insult? Annabeth would just laugh it off and hug him, as per usual, as per every year. It's a shame.

her parents have already entered the airport, leaving Annabeth standing in front of the huge terminal. She lets out a sigh and clutches her luggage closer. Well. this is it for-

"Annabeth!"

Is that- No. It can't be. Annabeth grips the metal handle of her luggage harder. It makes her knuckles turn into a sickly shade of pale, resembling a sheet of paper. He's not here. He's asleep, gone, and I'm imagining things. He can't possibly be-

"Wisegirl!"

When the voice calls out again, Annabeth knows for sure that it's him.

Percy.

The boy instantly engulfs her in a hug. It's warm, soft, familiar. All the qualities Annabeth likes most about him.

Great, she's tearing up.

"Don't forget me." Percy mumbles into her shoulder. "Please don't forget me." His voice is watery and wavering: He's crying. She can feel is tears dampening her sweater-clad shoulder, and all she can think is how she's doing the same.

"Never," Annabeth says, squeezing her eyes shut. "I promise."

Percy wants to say so much. How he woke up through his tiredness. How he biked here, all one hour of it, to find her, and how he couldn't sleep because he needed to hear her voice. Childish or immature as it be, its true.

He pulls away slowly and rummages through his pockets as he sniffs. "Here. Take this."

Annabeth's eyes widen. "You're" She grips it, mouth going dry. His shell, still blue as ever and pristine, tilts in her hands. "You're gonna give me this?"

She knows it's his favourite thing in the world, save for blue cookies and his small whale plushie. He never leaves it unattended, never dirties it, either. Annabeth knows that Percy never lends it to anyone, and keeps it like it's his life's worth. So why is he giving it to her? His eyes are teary and foggy as tears spill from his eyes, but she can't see any regret or remorse on his face. That's means he's giving it to her with no qualms, whatsoeverー But why?

"You better make sure to return it!" Percy sniffles again, wiping his runny nose on his shirt. "I'll be waiting!"

"I will."

Annabeth thinks that's the most she's cried ever.

The years pass like clockwork, because really, it is.

It's happens like any other year. She goes to school, gets good grades and live like any other day. She sends letters to Percy consistently. They're all sent with souvenirs, trinkets, little notes and scraps. It helps in a theraputic way.

Annabeth doesn't really blame her parents for taking a break. She tries to understand. And it's hard. The twins are lovely. Lovely as newborns can get, at least, they're smiley and bright. Matthew and Bobby, that's their names. They don't cry much. Annabeth likes that. They throw food at her sometimes. Annabeth doesn't like that.

Summer thirteen passes slowly. She tries to pass it with friends, but none of them can really compare to Percy.

Summer fourteen Annabeth enters Highschool. She keeps Percy's lucky she'll on her bedside table, stacked upon a cluster of books. She spends that summer inside, reading books about architecture. They can distact her from the dread of missing him.

Summer fifteen and she sends a package to Percy. There's the usual letter, one of her favourite books, and notes for the new math curriculum that they both happen to be on. She knows that he seriously hates reading, but Annabeth doesn't really expect him to read it.

(He spends all night reading it.)

Summer sixteen, and Percy sends the recipe for his mom's famous blue cookies. That makes her smile uncontrollably. Percy never trusts anyone that much to send one of his favorite recipes; much less the one for his most prized blue cookies. Annabeth is sure to send a recipe of her own for her favorite apple pie.

(Percy can't really stop eating it. Somehow, it reminds him if her.)

Summer seventeen Annabeth makes new friends. They make her mind forget about Percy more, but when she's laying awake at night, she can't really stop thinking about him. He's grown. His smile is as warm and bright as ever, and his hair which was once ruffles in a messy way had become endearing. Annabeth thinks it suits him.

She sends her own pictures. Annabeth thinks that she hasn't grown very much compared to Percy, but she's grown in height. Her hair reaches a length's past her shoulders, and her curls have become more tameable. It's easier to style.

Percy can write much better now, too. His writing is somewhat readable. His letters are still cocky and sarcastic as ever, but his words can clearly shows that he misses her. Annabeth does too. He's learned how to surf. Percy promises to teach her when she visits again. Not to mention he got a dogー a huge, massive ball of black fluff named Mrs. O'Leary. Apparently she's a rescue from one of his neighbours. Annabeth has her own dog as well; a lanky Doberman that she calls cerberus. She swears to introduce him to Mrs. o'leary.

(He looks forward to that.)

Still summer seventeen, and Annabeth learns that Percy has gotten close with someone.

She's supportive of him, of course, but Annabeth can't really say that when she frowns at the news. Rachel. That's her name. Rich, red-haired and pretty, she's probably a good fit for him. Annabeth sees her in the pictures he sends. Beach trips together, days spent in each other's company. She tries as hard as she can not to say something about it.

Rachel is pretty. Rachel is kind. She donates to homeless shelters and fundraises to help the rainforest, Rachel is the daughter of some rich buisness owner.

Rachel is everything Annabeth is not.

Laying on her bed that night, she comes to a horrible realization.

Those feelings of jealousy... They’re more than that, aren't they? It's more, so much more, it's the feeling of desire. Wanting. Because after years, Annabeth learns that she likes Percy.

And Percy likes someone else.

Summer eighteen and Annabeth is on the plane to her family’s cabin. She's eighteen years old now; it's been six years.

Six, long years of waiting, six summers spent wasting, six years of exchanging letters. Six years of waiting and longing.

Her leg bounces up and down erratically as the plane nears it's destination, the window passing blinding white clouds. The airport was just as busy as Annabeth remembered. The sights, smells, sounds... It's been a while since she's experienced this. It makes her mind race.

"You excited?" Helen gives a small smile towards her. The twins snore loudly beside her. "I bet you are. It's been a while since you've seen him, right?"

"Mhm," Annabeth hums, grinning to herself. Somehow, she already knows who Helen is talking about. "Six years."

"Hm?"

"Its been six years," She says, leaning her cheek on her palm. "Six years since I've last seen him."

Percy.

Annabeth is eighteen when she falls in love with the beach for the second time.

The cabin looks just like it was before. Dark brown wood, potted plants littering the windowsills, metal and glass chimes hanging from the ceilings. Nostalgia runs through Annabeth's mind.

So, with her hair flying behind her and parents chuckling behind her from the car, she bursts open the doors with laboured breaths. The humidity is at a level so high it gets Annabeth's hair all frizzyー but she doesn't mind one bit. She takes a deep inhale.

Fresh saltwater. Driftwood, the sweet smell of vanilla, the alluring scent of coral.

"Can I go out?" Annabeth practically jumps the whole way to the living room, parents unpacking. She runs her hands on the walls; she knows the place like a book from all the previous years spent there.

Annabeth's heart drops when they shake their heads. "Sorry, sweetie," Frederick sighs. "Could you wait until dinner? The twins would probably follow you everywhere; they're pretty energetic right now."

She frowns. "But-" Annabeth exhales, and her shoulders slump. "...Alright."

As the blonde walks back to her room, she can't help but think: Where even is Percy? At the beach? In his room? It's been a while since she last sent a letterー but Annabeth thought he would be expecting her. Maybe not. Maybe, he's busy spending time with Rachel. Not that she really blames him.

So she lays there, staring at the white ceiling. It's smooth unlike her popcorned ceilings back at her house. Annabeth can imagine what Percy's doing right now; most likely teaching Rachel how to surf, like he wrote in his most previous letter. That was... A month ago, right? She's learned how to surf, too.

Annabeth eats dinner with a small frown on her face.

What's the point? She thinks to herself, shoving the plate of noodles in her mouth. She slurps it up. What's the point in seeing him, anyways?

Well, let's see. One: I haven't seen him in six years. That's true. Annabeth's heart aches to see him again, but she can't really bring up the courage to see him.

Two: I have to return his lucky sea shell. She thinks of the shell that stands on her bedside table. It's coat is blue and chipped at that point from all the years.

Three: I really, really want to see him again. Annabeth agrees to herself to that, but there's something lacking. Something that's stopping her from seeing him.

What if Percy doesn't want to see me?

It's stupid, sure, after everything they went through, why would Percy not want to see her? The airport visit from six years ago was enough to proove her wrong, but... The doubt still lingers on Annabeth's head. Rachel was probably fine. She doesn't even know the girl for goodness sakeー why would Annabeth ever hate her in any way?

So, stepping out of the cabin with a determined look, she starts off to find Percy.

The cabin next to hers has no occupants. There's people living in there of course, the light inside gives it away. But there's none inside.

Okay. Next, the beach. The sure is setting, so only a few last minute stragglers are there. The waves are just as beautiful as Annabeth imagined. She chews on her bottom lip, where could he be? Downtown. The ice cream shop. Even the boardwalk. Annabeth has no luck in finding the raven haired boy.

Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.

She walks up to their spot.

It's like a walk to memory lane, really, the trees stretch even farther and the grass is way outgrown. The old log that she and Percy used to sit on is now covered with moss and growing mushrooms. Annabeth smiles to herself. It's been a while.

Have those bags always been here? She thinks to herself. She eyes the bags: Two of them, one black and one a vibrant splash of colors. They must belong to someone else.

When Annabeth sees a familiar figure, she practically beams, because holy shit, it's Percy!

His shoulders are broader than she remembered. His hair is gorgeously fluffy and volumous, and his voice is more richer than Annabeth thought. But, wait- why is he talking to himself?

"Seaweed br-"

That when Annabeth sees her.

A head of red hair sits beside him, laughing to spend joke of his. Or at least that's what Annabeth thinks is happening. Oh, her face falls. That must be Rachel. She fit the description she has had in her head for a while now: Pretty. Laid back.

Annabeth thought their spot was a spot for themー a spot where their memories were made, a spot where Percy introduced her to, a spot where only Annabeth knew.

Her arm slowly drops to her side when Rachel pecks him on the cheek.

Walking back, she thinks she's a fool. How could she be the only person who knew of that place? Such an idiot! Of course Percy would find someone else, like someone else, kiss someone else. Annabeth can't blame him. She can't blame Rachel, or anyone else, because how could she?

That night, Annabeth can't fall asleep.

(Percy can't either, because he can't stop thinking about Annabeth and how he thinks he saw her back there.)

[donggyul]

Fuck Toy (sixsome)

Member : X1 hyung line (Seungwoo, Seungyoun, Wooseok, Yohan, Hangyul)

Genre : Fluff/Smut

Note : I finally start writing after a long time!!! This is like the longest I've ever written😂

Warning : Well there's not exactly a warning but hey it's a smut so...

You were really close to the X1 members, especially the hyung line because you were their manager.

On Sunday morning, they asked you and the other managers to come over to play some games together as they were bored and out of things to do since they've been in quarantined for almost a year.

15 of you, 11 X1 members + you and 3 other managers, played various types of games, from board games to video games to simple games the whole day, having breakfast, lunch and dinner in between. It was close to night time so the other 3 managers had to leave for some work/home so you're the only manager who stayed to take care of them. The maknae line had already went to bed as they had school the next day.

You're left with the hyung line so you suggest they go to sleep early so that you can head home to rest. But they have something else in mind...

"Let's play one last juicy game before you go..." Seungwoo suggested.

"Juicy...?" you questioned

"Okay then let's play truth or dare!" Seungyoun said.

So the remaining 6 of you played a round of truth or dare, you know it's always save to pick truth because who know what dares they'll make you do.

"Y/N's turn! Truth or dare?" Wooseok asked.

"Why do you even bother asking...she always chooses truth" Yohan said sarcastically and that made you feel challenged.

"Says who? Dare!" you said.

"Fell right into our trap!" you heard Seungwoo whisper.

"Trap? What do you mean?" you ask him.

"So, we have a dare for you but we can't do it here" Seungyoun explained.

"Oh boy, what crazy things are they gonna ask you to do now" you thought.

"Okay so where should we do it?" you asked.

"Your house" Wooseok answered.

"My house...? Why?" you ask.

"You'll see" Yohan smirked and in a flash the 6 six you sat in the car and head off to your house.

"Woah this house is huge...You live here all alone?" Hangyul said amazed when you arrived.

You turned to answer him but something about him makes you feel butterflies. You've had this huge crush on him ever since you saw him at Music Bank when he first debuted in IM, you didn't dare to approach him that time so you were over the moon when you heard that you were in charge of X1, the group that Hangyul newly debuted in. Sure, the other member's visuals were stunning too but somehow there's only Hangyul in your eyes. He was the shy type so you never really gotten a chance to really talk to him, especially because the other members would be swarming with questions to ask you or stories to tell you before you can even say "Hi" to him. You stood there staring at him until he turned around to look at you, catching you off guard. The both of you turned away from each other, embarrassed.

"Yeah, my parents left this for me before they passed away" you answered.

"Ohh I'm sorry, I didn't mean too..." Hangyul apologized.

"That's okay...I'm used to it now" you answered and opened the door to let them in.

They explored the house with amazement. There's 10 rooms, 7 toilets, 3 kitchens (one for upstairs, two for downstairs) and a lot of living room space.

"I'm glad we decided to come here, its perfect for the dare" Yohan said.

"So what's the dare?" you asked when everyone's done exploring.

"We've been eyeing you since the first day..." Seungyoun said.

"And we figured you'll be the perfect fuck toy for us..." Seungwoo continued.

"WHAT?!" you said shocked.

"Don't be so surprised... You'll love it" Wooseok said.

You were speechless but before you can say anything Seungwoo cut in.

"Let's start slowly, we have the whole night after all... So choose one of us to start it off" Seungwoo looked at you.

You thought for a moment and you really didn't want to do it but since its a dare you have no choice.

"Okay...Hangyul" you said.

He looked surprised when you said his name, he didn't expect you to choose him at all.

"Ughh fine... Go pick a room and start doing whatever you're supposed to do" Wooseok said.

You pulled Hangyul into the biggest room (two king sizes bed side by side and a huge toilet). The two of you awkwardly sat on the bed while the other 4 watched TV and played whatever video games there is at your house. He looked somehow nervous and scared.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to you know?" you said looking at him.

"How? They're gonna notice if we fake it" he said turning to you but turning away when he realize you were staring at him.

"Okay then, we can get to know each other first? How about that?" you suggest.

"HEY! You guys better start ASAP! There's like 4 of us waiting" Seungwoo knocked on the door and said.

You looked down, you really didn't want to do this, the only reason you chose Hangyul is because you wanted to get to know him a little more.

"You don't want to do this do you?" Hangyul said noticing your facial expressions.

"Not really..." you answered.

Silence filled the room.

"I like you" he suddenly blurted out.

You look at him surprised.

"For a very long time... I first saw you at Music Bank when you were in charge of Wanna One, since then I couldn't take my mind off you" he confessed.

"Me too" you decided to confess.

"What?" he said.

"I first saw you then too, you have no idea how excited I was to be in charge of taking care of X1" you said.

"Well yeah who wouldn't be? There's so many handsome people here, except for me, I look hideous" he said.

"No silly...I was excited because you were in this group, I actually had this huge one-sided crush on you since that time I first saw you and please do not call yourself hideous, you're perfect" you said and you could've sworn you saw a small smile and a slight blush on his face when you said that.

"It's not one-sided you know..." he said.

"Well I know now..." you said wiggling your eyebrows making him burst into a small laugh.

"I hear you're not doing anything" Seungyoun said knocking on the door.

"Ohh and we'll switch after an hour so hurry up, you know what happens if you don't do it right?" he added.

"Can we, I mean can I? No..." Hangyul stuttered.

Something went over you and you smash your lips to his, leaving him shocked and frozen. He didn't budge at first but you didn't care and continued kissing him. Soon after, he kissed you back pulling you closer to him. The kiss was sweet and soft, exactly what Hangyul is. Both of you pulled away, trying to catch your breaths.

"I'm sorry! I don't know what came over m-" he kissed you again before you can even finish your sentence.

"Can you take care of this?" he ask pointing to his bulge.

"I'll be delighted to" you said and he quickly pulled his pants and boxers off revealing his huge cock.

"I..." you stammered.

"It's huge I know... Think you can make it?" he said worriedly.

You didn't waste a second and started stroking and sucking on his huge hardening length, making him moan at the sudden touch. He took off his shirt and leaned back using both his hands for support, giving you more space. You kept sucking and licking, massaging his balls with your free hand. He was a moaning mess, sweat running down his body, he looked even hotter and sexier from your point of view. He gripped the sheets tighter as he was almost there. After a few more sucking and licking he finally cummed in your mouth making you cough but you still swallowed it.

"I'm sorry are you okay, that was a lot wasn't it?" he said embarrassed.

"I'm fine, but I do get something in return don't I?" you said.

"Of course, but can we skip the foreplay? We only have 45 minutes left" he said.

"Impatient huh? Fine by me" you answered and he wasted no second to quickly pull all your clothes off.

As soon as he pulled you bra and panty off, he started sucking on one of your nipples and massaging the other, taking you by surprised. He's been doing it for about 3 minutes, switching sides every now and then with you playing with his hair.

"Gyul... I thought you said no foreplay?" you said.

"Sorry I can't help it, I wanna taste every inch of you before they do" he pouted.

"Well even after they fuck me, I'm still all yours..." you said tousling his hair.

"But still! I wanna be the first one" he pouted cutely again.

"Alright alright" you chuckled at his cuteness.

After another minute or so of sucking your boobs, he lays you down and starting licking the outside of your clit making you slightly moan. He smirked and started licking your clit harsher and sucking harshly. Your moans just got louder as he stuck not one but two fingers in and started thrusting in and out, curling his fingers while sucking harsh on your clit. The moment he added another finger and thrusting it faster and harsher than before, it became too much to handle. You felt like screaming because it hurt too much but you can't bring yourself to stop him because the pleasure was too good to be true. Without warning you cummed all over, and he licked every single bit of cum left on your pussy. You wiped the remaining cum on his lips, trying to catch your breath.

"You okay?" he asked to which you nodded in response.

You climbed on top of him and sunk down, slowly moving your hips to make sure his length is fully in you. It took a moment for you to adjust, in that short moment, he took both your hands and placed it on his chest, then he guide your hands slowly down till his abs, making sure you touch every inch of it. "This is all yours" he whispered sending shivers down your spine. You started gently rocking your hips, he gripped your butt cheeks, squeezing and slapping it. You soon got the hang of it and sped up the pace, both of you moaning because of the pleasure. He started pounding upwards and you started grinding down on him, both wanting to feel each other more. But soon enough, your orgasm got onto you, the pleasure was so overwhelming, you forgot to tell him that you were close and squirted all over his cock. "Wow I didn't expect you to squirt" he said looking down at the juices you released. "Oops sorry" you said embarrassed but he didn't seem to mind at all.

He took you off him, laying you down, licking the cum that you squirt till there's nothing left. He slowly inserted his humongous dick into you making you winced from the size. After checking that you're okay, he slowly thrusted in and out of you. It's the most careful he's ever been as he didn't wanted to hurt you. It's the 2nd time he's entering you but it still hurt a lot but after a few thrust, it eventually felt so good. He started thrusting faster and faster after seeing your relaxed expression, hitting every spot perfectly. Your boobs was shaking uncontrollably as he went extremely fast, determined to make you cum. The room was filled with skin slapping and moaning noises. You grip on tighter to the sheets as you were close to your 2nd cum.

"I'm close... Please don't stop..." you begged.

And luckily for you he didn't. After 3 more thrust you squirt all over but he still didn't stop. He kept thrusting and thrusting, overstimulating you until he was almost there. He was going to take it out and cum elsewhere but you wanted him to keep going.

"Hangyul, just cum inside me, its okay" you stopped him.

Hearing this, he immediately spill everything inside of you, so much, you can feel it filling you up and some spilling out of you. He took his time catching his breath, and laid on top of you hugging you tight, still not taking his length out. He didn't want to, but he also doesn't have any strength to go on.

"You okay?" you asked wiping the sweat off his face.

"Tired but extremely good..." he replied.

"I'm glad my first time was with you" you said.

"You're lying about your first time aren't you?" he said still hugging you.

"I'm not, it really was my first, was I okay?" you asked.

"Okay? You were amazing, I can never get over how you sucked my cock so good like that" he answered.

"You were amazing too... Guess you had lots of experience huh?" you said.

"I was? Not bad for a first time I guess... Wish I could've done better though" he said.

"Wait... It's your first time?" you ask.

"Duhh... I don't have time to date or have a one night stand with a stranger, nor do I want to" he said.

"So why did you do it with me?" you ask.

"To tell you the truth, I was hesitant at first, and I didn't agree to it because well, you are our manager after all. But I didn't want to lose to them as well" he explained, turning to lie to the side, his cock still not leaving your pussy.

Pulling you closer, he continued "but I was willing to do it because it was you, if it was other girls, I would've never done it"

"Liar... there's so many other pretty girls out there" you teased.

"I'm not lying" he said kissing your forehead.

"Thank you" you said pecking his lips.

"For what?" he asked.

"For liking me and being my first for everything" you said.

"I love you, you know that right" he suddenly blurted out making you blush, breaking eye contact with him.

"What are you shy?" he teased.

"No I'm no-" he cuts you off by tickling you.

The two of you spend the remaining 5 minutes talking, laughing, sharing the weirdest stories, and it so amazing how both of you just clicks whether its having sex or not.

"Alright times up, its our turn" Seungwoo interrupted.

You turn to take a look at Hangyul and he does not look pleased but you had to comfort him somehow.

"Hey, don't worry, no one is gonna be better than you and its only gonna take 4 hours, which may seems long but I'll be back before you know it! Okay?" you said giving him a few kisses in the middle.

"Actually we just decided to fuck you all at once and it'll only take an hour because 4 hours is way too long" Seungwoo said.

"We includes me too right?" Hangyul asked almost immediately.

"Yeah yeah whatever" Seungwoo replied.

"Even better! You'll be here so there's nothing to worry about okay?" you said hugging him tight.

"I'm okay, I'm just scared they'll be too harsh on you and hurt you" he said with a pout.

"Well if they're too harsh, then you can stop them for me, how does that sound?" you said and he nodded in response, hugging you close, not wanting to let you go.

Soon later, all of them came in the room naked and prepared, ready to wreck you.

Hangyul slowly pulled away from you as you winced from the sudden emptiness.

"My baby is fully stretched I see" Seungyoun said flicking your clit making you startled.

"So, who's cock do you want into your holes first?" Seungwoo said.

"Anyone is fine" you answered.

So they played a short game to decide who goes first.

Order : Yohan, Hangyul, Wooseok, Seungyoun, Seungwoo

Yohan pumped his cock a few times before you climed on top of him and slowly sat down to fit his length, his was not as big as Hangyul's one but it was still big. You gently rocked your hips to make sure that Yohan was fully inside you. You leaned forward to let Hangyul enter your 2nd hole. He gripped your hips and slowly entered you but stopped when you winced. "I'm okay, just keep going" you assured him. All 3 of you took a second to adjust to the new feeling. Yohan and Hangyul thrusted in perfect rhythm, when Yohan was thrusting in, Hangyul thrusted out, your body felt so full. Hangyul pulled you up to play with your nipple while Yohan played with the other nipple.

"You okay?" Hangyul whispered sending shivers to your body. You answered by nodding, eyes closed.

"Gyuliee can you please go a little faster?" you begged.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" he asked worried.

"Don't worry" you said.

They both started going faster. This time Yohan groped both of your boobs while Hangyul stretched your clit with his fingers. You were practically screaming but didn't care anymore if you were loud, all that was in your mind was how their cocks both fit perfectly into you and how good both of them made you feel. You grinded more and more into them and they pounded more and more into you. You didn't want them to stop, the pleasure was too good, you tried to fight your orgasm back but your body wouldn't let you and you eventually squirted all over. Yohan looked panicked, he needed somewhere to spill but you're still on top of him. "It's okay, you can spill in her" you heard Hangyul said startling you. Yohan was hesitant but he couldn't really hold it in anymore and cummed inside you. Hangyul pulled out of you and pulled you off of Yohan, putting his length back in your pussy to spill his seeds in you for the 2nd time.

You tried catching your breath but the other 3 boys wouldn't let you, Wooseok basically shoved his cock into your mouth, gripping your hair and started fucking your mouth. You couldn't even move, tears running down your face, he was very harsh, you were gagging but he didn't care. Seungyoun and Seungwoo grabbed your hands and made you stroke their cock. "Suck bitch" Wooseok said finally letting go of your hair. You started sucking, licking and softly biting his cock, both your hands still stroking, pulling and twisting Seungwoo and Seungyoun's cocks. You can feel Hangyul hugging you from behind, one hand pinching and playing with your nipples, the other hand lightly tapping your pussy to make sure that you're not in big pain before slowly inserting his fingers, moving his fingers in and out, curling them inside you. Wooseok then again grabbed your hair, fucking your throat, making you gag and making him cum. "Swallow" he command and you did.

Seungyoun laid down on the bed, pulling you to lie on top of him and inserting his length into your 2nd hole. You didn't have any strength or energy left due to the amount of orgasm you've already released but they're still not done with whatever they planned. Wooseok entered your clit soon after and they started pounding hard. It wasn't exactly the perfect rhythm, it was more like them doing whatever they want. "That's my good pretty girl" Seungyoun said groping your shaking boobs, squishing it, twisting and pinching your nipples. They were pounding so hard you felt like your bones were gonna break. Wooseok was the first one to cum, he took his cock out, pumped it a few times before squirting everything on your belly. Seungyoun on the other hand was still abusing your 2nd hole when Wooseok left your exposed reddish vagina. After a few minutes, Seungyoun carried you up off him and squirted in Wooseok's mouth, as per his request.

The other four boys left to wash up, leaving you alone with Seungwoo. He was the only and last one that hasn't went into you yet so he laid you down, head facing the pillows. He grabbed both your hands and put them behind your back and started to pound into your 2nd hole without even caring how much pain you were feeling at the time. He used his free hand to finger your bruised pussy. It was 3 fingers at once, the pain was almost unbearable. "Seungwoo please stop... It hurts..." you begged but he didn't seem to care. After he a few more thrusts, he stopped. You thought it was over but he turned you around and made you ride him. You tried resisting with all your might but he was too strong. Before you know it he was gripping your hips tightly, pounding into you like an animal again, even harsher than before. "Swoo please, it hurts so much" you cried. "What? You gladly take all their cocks but you wouldn't take mine?" he said. "I would take yours if you just gave me a break" you said, tears rolling down your face. "Fuck toys don't have breaks" he roared and pounded harder, making you bounce up and down. Your whole body just gave up at this point, tears streaming down your face nonstop, praying for Hangyul to finish washing up so that he can somehow stop Seungwoo.

Fortunately, Hangyul came out of the bathroom just in time. He was shocked to see you cry, he knew he had to do stop Seungwoo before you got even more hurt. "Gyul..." you cried with the little strength you have left. With all his might, he pulled you up from Seungwoo, hugging you tightly in his arms. You felt a rush of emotions and tears flew out uncontrollably, it was unexplainable, painful, but you were also glad that Hangyul was there by your side no matter what. You heard Seungwoo grunt and curse, leaving the room. "It's okay... You're save with me now bub" you heard Hangyul say. Hangyul helped you to clean up, and dressed you in comfy clothes.

"Does it still hurts?" he laid you down on the bed hugging you softly, you nodded, still unable to speak.

"Don't worry about anything and sleep okay? I'll be by your side the whole night" he assured, caressing your hair, making you fall asleep.

Tiredness wash over you, falling asleep in his arms, peacefully.

The next morning

Hangyul woke up first, staring at you, slowly running his fingers through your hair and face, touching each of your facial features softly and carefully. He smiled at how cute you were when you were sleeping. He moved to grab his phone, accidentally waking you.

"Hangyul?" you said half awake.

"Sleep more, you must've been tired" he said hushing you back to sleep.

"Thank you" you said hiding your head at the crook of his neck.

"Anything for my baby" he lightly kissed your forehead.

"What?" you said looking up at him.

"Am I wrong? You're mine" he said smiling softly.

"Well if I'm yours then you're mine!" you said.

"Of course I am" he chuckled, patting you back to sleep like a baby.

"What do you wanna eat later? I can cook anything you know" he said.

"Anything is fine, but don't go till I wake up" you pouted.

"I won't... I'll be right here so you don't have to worry okay" he said.

You nodded and went back to sleep.

I'm sorry if this sucks 😭 I wanted to end it sweetly and Hangyul here is such a sweetheart 🥺 also I'm terribly sorry for making Seungwoo the "villain" I just felt that Seungwoo is the perfect role for it...

[hibiscxs]

I finally have time to watch the new legacies episode so here we go

I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I STILL HATE CLEO’S FROG THING I HATE FROGS IM SORRY

But other than that frog monstrosity this opening scene is super promising

"You're not Hannibal Lecter. You're the lamb. " ASDGFJ HOPE IS MY FAVE

And yes Aria plays the villain verrryyy well I'm so glad they gave us Malivore-possessed Landon

He didn't pull off that "hello Clarice" that well tho

I can't believe I'm getting excited over legacies again pls don't make me a clown again

Wait what am I forgetting when did hope go into Malivore a second time

Wait nvm I remember

Am I the only one who is so tired of literally only Hope caring that Landon is still in Malivore??? Or do they all really think he's dead??? Landon literally has no one except Hope and it's sad and I hate that it ALSO makes Hope look obsessed

Idg what the head dive is going to do but

Uh is the gray eyes thing the standard for vampiric head dives now bc I thought that was just a Necromancer thing

Ohhh Hope was in on it

So is being in Malivore’s subconscious the same as being in Malivore now???

This show’s going to end with Kaleb as the new headmaster lmao I just know it

ARE WE FINALLY GETTING KALEB’S BACKSTORY YES PLEASE

Okay ik the twins often siphon random parts of the school and it's probs a barrier or boundary spell or smth but won't that source ever run out???

Cleo's scene with her sisters is so heartwarming BUT IT’S NOT REAL IM SO SAD

Ohhh damn KALEB’S BACKSTORY

I've been missing how the TVD and TO vampires were actually dangerous so yeah this is great

Josie and Finch are like disgustingly cute

In a good way

They're finally bringing up the Merge

This scene with Kaleb and Ric when Kaleb’s going all vampy is so cheesy

IS THIS THE REAL LANDON PLEASE

The ironic part is that finding Cleo didn't work but it’s Landon saving the day. LANDON DESERVES BETTER FRIENDS

Y'know when I first started watching legacies I didn't care much for Landon but now he makes me feel

"How long have I been gone?” THIS POOR BOY YOU WERE ALL ALONE

Can they just not... Physically separate them from MaliLandon to break the psychic connection

"It's a chain spell so we can only draw magic from a person" THIS IS SO CONTRIVED. PLEASE AT LEAST BE SMOOTHER ABOUT IT WRITERS

Hope, just give MG your blood. Ik he's not actually dying and that this is just a symbolic choice but just do it

Literally no one else on this show has looked in pain when being siphoned except for when Lizzie purposefully desiccated MG, so where is this coming from??? Writers, can we please have some consistency

Oh, so BOTH hope and Landon are self sacrificial to the point of it being really sad and unhealthy huh

Landon's past abuse isn't talked about enough this boy has been through so much

Oh so is MG actually dying or is it like "if Hope goes, then Malivore will kill MG"?

Hope, you literally left Landon to get shot by the golden arrow when you saved the Saltzmans; do not be fucking manipulated (but yes obviously save MG)

I HATE THAT THEY COULDN’T TELL HER THIS SUCKS

Landon Kirby deserves the world

I actually forgot that Hope and MG were kinda not friends at this point. Now this weird side story with them makes sense even if the logic is just.... no

Hope must hate her name bc of all the puns lmfao

Alaric, pls stop giving your student alcohol. Kaleb isn't Damon

I loved TVD Alaric, but Legacies pls fire Matt Davis

Ohhh is this fear of Josie's stemming from Penelope leaving?

GET CLEO OUT OF THERE POOR BABY

Aria and Okoye have great on-screen chemistry

WHAT DID SHE INSPIRE WHAT WAS IT

Legacies is about friendship lmao

Final Thoughts:

I more or less liked this episode, although I think the season 1 and season 2 premieres were stronger. This one definitely beats out season 3′s premiere tho, which is a fairer comparison since both these episodes weren’t meant to be season premieres at all

I loved Landon in this episode. The boy makes me so sad. And Aria as Malivore is still EVERYTHING. But I am SO mad that Kaleb and Ric don’t immediately say that they won’t let Landon sacrifice himself??? Was Raf really the only person besides hope who actually cared about Landon???

I hope Cleo gets her own plot line this season now that her “surprise, I’m the villain” plot line is over. I’d hate to see her just be used as a plot device for “inspiration”

And while I just did praise Aria as Malivore and I do think Malivore is now a stronger villain that he was before, I do kind of think his reason for keeping Cleo prisoner is just. So goofy. When witches were kept for their powers by antagonists in TVD and TO, it was because it gave the antagonist an edge with like prophecies or magical skill. Malivore’s keeping Cleo around in hope she’ll give him a good idea LMFAO

The turning point for Finsie’s story in this episode was so cheesy and badly done. But in the end, I do like how they tied this back to Josie being scared Finch would get overwhelmed with the knowledge that Josie and Lizzie would have to do the Merge and leave her like Penelope did

Really really hated whatever point the writers were trying to get across with Hope this episode. They’re really going to continue to shame her for her reaction to Landon dying in her arms after they had sex for the first time. They have Hope come to this “realization” that she purposefully puts other peoples lives at risk for Landon when that was never the case. She saved MG even after he killed Landon (because she was never like that, even then she understood what was right, it was her who got Raf to see understand it too), she chose to kill herself for everyone (not just Landon) instead of letting someone else get hurt, she chose the Saltzmans over Landon (choosing to let him die) and only lucked out bc Dorian found a loophole with the compulsion. And I’ll say it again, 3x08 was not Hope trying to kill the twins to get Landon back. She was reckless, she was arrogant, she was stupid for thinking the monsters wouldn’t be a threat, but it was the dark magic that literally no one remembered too that was actually dangerous to the twins. And I hate that the crux of this story in 4x01 is Hope and MG back in that memory and Hope having to choose between letting MG die or being with Landon, and that the writers actually have her consider it. In the memory that they’re in, Hope saves MG! That’s what happened! No hesitation! It was Raf who wanted to hurt him, it was Kaleb who doubted she would do it (btw, there’s Plec’s insidious racism again). And let’s not forget that the “feud” between Hope and MG wasn’t even about Hope choosing between the two. It was started bc MG hid the ascendant and decided to let Landon rot in the prison world. It makes me so frustrated everyone except Hope has given up on saving Landon and that the writers don’t ever make that out to be a bad thing and instead make Hope look inconsiderate and selfish for not wanting to let Landon die!

Anyway

Pretty okay episode

I think I saw Clarke in the preview for the 4x02? Hopefully I get to watch it soon after it comes out. Just started a new job so

Conclusion: Landon Kirby deserves the world

[spacemiddenzz]

so i was watching @super-metroid's stream of Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass (highly recommend by the way) and she fought Imaginary Numbers this time. I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts on it, since it's my favorite boss and all. This is gonna be a longpost and it's gonna have spoilers so the whole thing can be found under the cut.

So, to put it simply, this dungeon is about stress and confusion. It's about Jimmy's mind frantically trying to comprehend the high-level math that Andrew is teaching him on top of his schoolwork. Jimmy thinks that his dad is the smartest man in the world- this is hyperbole for sure, but the fact that Andrew is quite intelligent remains clear. Jimmy looks up to Andrew because of his intelligence- and because of this it means a lot to Jimmy to be praised by Andrew. He wants his dad to view him as intelligent as well, because, if a man as smart as Andrew thinks Jimmy is smart, he can't be wrong! And hell, it feels nice to be validated by your parents.

Clearly, Andrew has already recognized Jimmy's talent with numbers and has started teaching him concepts beyond the second-grade curriculum, something that we see in the flashbacks in the Symmetrical Cavern. However if Imaginary Numbers' design is anything to go by, these concepts may be at or above the high school level. They're too much for Jimmy to understand. He's only eight, and his mind just isn't ready for that yet. Still, he feels the pressure to keep up with- and understand- the work that Andrew gives him. Why? Because he fears failure. He worries that if he admits to his father that the work is too hard, Andrew won't see him as a "smart boy" any longer- and that praise and validation means a lot to Jimmy. He doesn't want to lose it.

Let's start with the song that plays during this nightmare dungeon- Counting Backwards From Infinity. From the erratic bassline to the random samples of people shouting numbers in no particular order over and over again, this song simply screams disorder and panic. As a person who has always struggled with math, it's incredibly relatable. Counting Backwards From Infinity always reminded me of taking math tests in high school. I was so slow that I almost never could finish a test in a single class period. The frantic, wild bass and the cacophony of people screaming numbers out of order reminded me of trying desperately to remember how to solve a type of problem- and do it quickly enough so that I could hand the test in before the bell rang. I imagine that this is how Jimmy feels when Andrew places in front of him a concept that the boy does not fully understand. Perhaps he's had it explained to him several times but still can't fully grasp it (likely because, again, the kid is eight). The wild confusion and stress he feels when he doesnt fucking understand what's in front of him and doesnt want to look like an idiot in front of his dad. Even the name of the song is a reference to the fact that at this stage of his life this stuff may be an insurmountable task.

The dungeon itself is also set up in an incredibly confusing way. There's a bunch of bizarre-looking purple structures and winding paths. You teleport all over the place with no particular rhyme or reason. The enemies in this area, too, are deformed geometrical shapes that are almost Lovecraftian in the way that they cannot be understood. To Jimmy, Andrew's teachings might as be as comprehensible as a Lumpagon or a Squiggles, and that's definitely the idea that one gets here. The confusion, the pressure, the panic.

At one point in the dungeon you're teleported to a fakeout area that looks like the Path of Enlightenment. This is my favorite thing about the Asymmetrical Cavern, because of the fact that it has so many cool secrets, but also because it gave me a feeling that I could (once again) relate to. Jimmy's teleportation to the Path of Enlightenment isn't random. It represents familiarity in a sea of confusion. Jimmy sees something he recognizes during Andrew's lessons. Maybe he thinks that he's finally got the hang of it- that he's studied hard enough and now all of this jargon makes sense- only to be rudely awakened by the fact that he's been doing it wrong and never understood the concept in the first place. Even the secrets kind of hint at this. If you speak to pointman in this part of the dungeon he says "I am the blood of numbers leaking from your ears. The nails of ignorance are already being driven into your brain. What point is there in giving voice to madness?" (which is metal as fuck by the way)

Jimmy just thinks that his inability to understand makes him an idiot. His lack of understanding- the nails of ignorance- are being driven into his brain. If he can't understand all of Andrew's teachings, maybe he was never a smart boy after all.

And finally let's talk about Imaginary Numbers itself. First of all, it's an amalgamation of a bunch of different mathematical symbols, including a tombstone, a slashed epsilon, and a sigma. I'm sure there are more, but those are the only ones I recognized, honestly. Given that dreams don't really make things up, instead just taking things that you have seen/experienced before, it looks like Jimmy has encountered some... seriously advanced shit. Tombstones are used in geometric proofs. I only started doing proofs in high school geometry, meaning that Jimmy may very well be learning concepts meant for kids twice his age. No wonder the poor kid is stressed.

Oh yeah, also the boss sucks ass to fight. I've heard some people call that bad game design, but I'm not sure that's how I'd classify it. Sure, like I said, the boss sucks complete ass to fight and is almost entirely RNG-dependent. From a gameplay standpoint, this is wack as hell, yeah. Fucking 30% chance to deflect any magical or physical attack with a 30% chance to dodge a physical attack on top of that? Definitely bad game design. But from an artistic standpoint? Not at all. In fact, the futility of this fight adds to it. It really drills into your head that the only thing on your side here is pure fucking luck. And the odds aren't in your favor.

The feeling of futility- of the fact that this may in fact be, by all definitions, an insurmountable task for Jimmy, really struck home the situation. The battle would not be nearly as impactful without this. And personally, I'm all for it. Imagine walking into the Asymmetrical Cavern for the first time, not knowing what to expect. You get your ass handed to you on a silver platter by Imaginary Numbers after it chains Program Omega at you five times in a row.

That's the feeling Kasey wanted to give you. And it's critical. It's just... so perfect, I honestly don't know how to put it into words. It was supposed to represent the confusion and turmoil of a task nigh insurmountable. And it did the job pretty damn well, if I do say so myself.

I know Jimmy is good at numbers and this wasn't supposed to represent a real struggle with the subject of math/the concept of numbers in general, but hot damn if I didn't feel seen. Except Jimmy is eight but I was like 17 struggling in precalc with the same shit. I guess we know Jimmy's smarter than I am rip

TLDR; andrew please stop putting unnecessary stress on your kid youre freaking him out

anyway if you guys have any thoughts about this boss or this dungeon in general i would love to hear them. but where im at its like 2 AM so im probably gonna it the mf sack for now. later dudes