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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

twelve hours, m | jjk | ... and now

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: You have twelve hours to make Jeon Jungkook fall in love with you. He's about to get married. You're the entertainment at his bachelor party - a burlesque dancer. Long ago, he used to be the class representative and you used to be the class delinquent. Nothing has changed and, yet, everything has.

this is part ii | click here for part i | total wc: 23k

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; this story contains parental child abuse and graphic violence, including the reader becoming physically scarred and having panic attacks; rich, this bachelor party is on a fuckin' YACHT, the best man is LOADED; JK and reader interacted in high school; angst and fluff and feels; cheating; this is mostly smut XD; (in part i) high school smut + intense adult smut (fem reader, striptease, semi-public sex at school, nipple play (he's a bit obsessed with them), dry humping, m-masturbation, handjob, cumming on tits (and diamonds), cum-eating, mirror kink, spitting, tit fucking, m-receiving oral, scratching / biting / marking, penetrative sex, doggy); shifts back and forth between Jungkook’s POV and your POV

non-idol!AU; film director!Jungkook x wealthy, burlesque dancer!reader — ft best man, art trader!Kim Taehyung; dancer's bodyguard!Kim Namjoon and bodyguard!Kim Seokjin

> eyebrow pierced, tattooed, and long black-haired JK (with undercut) in a black suit because that's what we need in this life > look for TXT's 'you and me and the sky at 5:53' :)

time left: 06:49

No.

Don’t leave me.

It was the same then as it was now.

Jungkook reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him. Her eyes widened, pivoting quickly on her toe, snapping her heel down and cutting the turn short, black skirt flaring out. The swift glimpse of her legs in the high slit, the gentle bounce of her breasts in the slinky fabric. Her manicured hair bounced, dyed blue-black and giving her skin a surreal quality.

He held on.

Please don’t disappear.

“What?”

Her brows knitted together. She didn’t pull her arm away, but she was steadfast in her posture, not letting him push her around. Not that he ever could.

“He asked me to escort you back,” Jungkook found himself saying. “If not for your sake, then for his peace of mind. I don’t want to be a liar.”

Her features softened.

His fingers around her arm, touching that soft skin once more.

I care. I care a lot.

Jungkook realized that, in a way, he had never moved past those classrooms, those touches, those kisses, those moments.

“You can let go now.”

She said it patiently. Always patient with him despite his overzealous and sometimes clumsy antics, putting up with it even when she didn’t have to. He looked into those eyes and found those walls were falling away, little by little. Winged liner, red lipstick, it didn’t matter, it was the same expression, defiant eyes and hint of a scowl on those lips. Ready to fight, but not him.

She was always a fighter and the opponent was always life itself.

“I don’t want to let go.”

He didn’t expect himself to say the truth, but he did.

She smirked, reaching up, her fingers covering his tattoos for a moment, placing them on the back of his hand. This warmth. This feeling. It was not the same as the rest, and he knew that now.

“Hm, well, you must realize this looks a bit awkward. You wouldn’t want to give anyone the wrong impression, would you?”

Wouldn't want someone to see you talking to me, right?

“You will let me escort you?” he insisted.

She pried his hand from her arm and lowered it, turning the other way.

“You are welcome to do as you like. I won’t stop you, golden boy.”

time left: 06:41

He followed you, surrounded by moonlight reflecting off water.

It streamed through the windows, lighting the red carpeted hall along with the dim sconces. You found yourself stepping in each lighted square, avoiding the thin dark beams of the windows, a little game for yourself, like how children avoided the cracks in the concrete sidewalks, except you were on a lavish yacht wearing Louboutins with a handsome man in step behind you.

It was quiet and yet it wasn’t. Small sounds, footsteps, distant muffles of talking through the walls, the faint sound of bass as you walked away from the party, the sound of the ocean ever present, your own breathing.

Jungkook’s breathing.

Familiar.

Once yours.

You looked to your right, to the window, seeing his reflection. His profile, hands in his pockets, tattooed arm standing out against the black background of his clothes, dressed formally but always a bit sheepish about it, as if he wasn’t sure if it looked good on him, but it always did, even the school uniform. He still had the youthfulness about him, even as a man.

Your eyes found his and he was watching your face in the glass of the window.

You stopped abruptly, pivoting on one heel to face him.

Impulse.

Your younger self would have bristled, glaring, accusing the eyes and snapping, what are you looking at?

Jungkook started, realizing you had noticed, and tripped, his black hair suddenly disturbed and tumbling over his eyes as he struggled to catch himself, hands flying out of his pockets.

You caught one, lacing your fingers with his, and gripped tightly, yanking up.

He righted himself, gasping. Looking up, bent over and long legs awkward, somewhat like a fawn trying to get on its legs for the first time. Those big brown eyes, parted pink lips. Familiar.

Your joined hands fell exactly where the window beam was, shrouded in shadow.

“Something on your mind?” you chuckled, shaking your head.

He straightened. You loosened your grip on his hand, but he held on. You frowned slightly, raising your brows.

He swallowed hard.

“Can I hold your hand? Please.”

Back then, you would hold his hand, hiding behind corners and dashing past, holding your breath, light steps, leaping from shadow to shadow, bodies close, breath mixing. Showing him all the secrets of the school that you had found while wandering, a fun little game with a reward at the end, school uniform being shed, skin to skin, his body against yours, his heartbeat in time with yours, his lips on yours.

You shrugged and turned back around, his hand tightly around yours.

time left: 06:35

Jungkook held her hand.

In an instant, he looked down, staring at their joined hands.

This was different.

And then he saw them.

Scars, all over the back of her hand. He could feel the scar tissue on her palms too, lines on her fingers even though she was holding him loosely. He had memorized every centimeter of her beautiful hands from back then, and these lines were not here before. These were not scars from living life. These had been cuts, healed now, unseen from far away and even up close. Perhaps they had been filled in with tattoo ink in a color to match her skin tone so they were less noticeable.

No one would know unless they were holding her hand or looking for it.

Without knowing it, Jungkook clutched her hand tighter, a sudden ache in his chest.

He had found bruises on her sometimes.

I fell down the stairs. It's nothing.

He had found welts.

Stupid fight with some dumbass.

He had found a criss-cross pattern of cuts on her leg.

I tried to jump over a fence and fucked up.

He glanced at her other hand loosely by her side. The same. He could even see her palm and there were many, many lines, all over her palm, healed cuts. Drugs? But he knew it wasn’t. Not because he had a romanticized idea of who she would be in his head, but because that was the nice answer.

That was the reasonable answer.

“Oh!”

“Excuse me, miss.”

His eyes flickered upward to see a young woman in a short midnight blue dress pausing, looking from her to him, cheeks flushed, not being subtle about it. The glittery fabric picked up the moonlight, accenting her curves and long legs. Pretty.

But not sensual.

Not immaculate.

Not teasing and sculptural.

The grip on his hand tightened so much that he inhaled sharply, fingers nearly crushed by her hold.

“Have a nice evening,” the woman in black purred, edge of ice indicating the stranger to move along, or, more accurately, fuck right off.

Jungkook knew he shouldn’t, and yet.

His heart skipped two beats as she dragged him along.

He had no problem looking away from the other woman and fixate on the back of that neatly pinned, blue-black hair, graceful shoulders, corseted waist, swaying hips.

And her hand in his, not letting go.

time left: 06:22

“This is it.”

You turned to see Jungkook looking around, mouth open, gawking at the entrance of the intricately carved wooden door. It was one of the grander, first-class rooms. The red doors were much farther apart and the sconces here were glided with glass-blown lampshades, casting swirls of orange across the white walls, dimmed now from the late night.

“It was nice to see you again.”

It was, even with the bitter taste in your mouth that seemed to linger.

His eyes came back to you, dark brown and clear, focused on only your face, long black strands framing his cheeks, the small mole underneath his lower lip trembling.

“I hope you have your happiness now, Jungkook.”

You did.

You felt a strange, unmovable pressure on your chest. The time wasn’t up yet. You could still try. You could keep your hold on his hand and drag him into the room and hold him close to you, skin to skin, lips on his, and show him all you’ve learned. You could. You could see it in those eyes. He would follow you now, maybe because of the alcohol, maybe for old times sake, maybe out of impulse and bad choices.

You let go.

You let go, because you didn’t want to be a bad choice.

Not to him, Jeon Jungkook.

“You were my small happiness, back then,” you said softly, feeling yourself smile.

It was better not to have regrets. At the time, even you didn’t know how important he had been. The thought of being withdrawn from that school and not being able to see him again made you fight back for once, and it ended in the very thing you didn’t want. It fucked up your hands, it fucked up your life, but somehow you found yourself here now, in expensive clothes on an expensive boat with expensive tastes, able to make a choice between selfishness or selflessness.

Maybe you hadn’t changed much after all, since you found yourself choosing the latter.

You turned away and pulled your hand out of his.

Or would have, if Jungkook hadn’t grasped your hand tighter, yanking you back and shoving you against the door of your suite. Your hand automatically raised to push him back, but he put his whole weight on your body, sandwiching you between the door and himself, making you gasp, trapped between dead timber and muscular hardness.

Now his face was in your face, breathing hard, dark brown orbs shaking and shining with wetness.

You froze, lips parting.

“You were my happiness too.”

He was panting, warm exhale on your lips.

“Not a small happiness. The happiness.”

He squeezed your hand like you were going to disappear.

“I didn’t know then, but I do now,” Jungkook shuddered, towering over you even in your heels. He stared into your eyes. “Your smile.”

You blinked slowly, confused.

“Your smile. I’ve never seen it reach your eyes.”

Heart racing, suddenly breathless.

“Except when you thought I couldn’t see, like when my back was turned or my face was turned away from you,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours, long black hair curtaining your faces, sending you back to the shadows. “I saw it though, in reflections. In windows. In mirrors. In those beakers in the science room.”

Was that so? Had that been you? You made it a point not to smile back then, because there had been nothing to smile about. But maybe… maybe when eyes weren’t on you, maybe when you yourself didn’t notice, but, somehow, Jungkook had noticed.

You realized that your introspection had diverted your attention from him, so you made eye contact again, airless at his closeness. Your eyes and his, lost in sweet dreams.

“I want to kiss you.”

He tilted his head and hesitated.

“I want to kiss you all the time,” he said to your lips.

His expression was clouded with shame. It was ugly. It made his handsome features ugly and you didn’t like that. You wanted to make it go away. You closed more distance, fingers pressing down on the back of his hand, your other hand raising and resting on his hip, lashes lowering.

“Then kiss me,” you said to his lips.

time left: 06:13

Jungkook kissed her.

From then and now, it was the same.

Euphoria.

But this time, it wasn’t clumsy with colliding teeth and too much tongue that did nothing, sloppy with no purpose. This time, his lips were soft at first and so were hers, breathing in each other’s scent. She smelled warm and musky, like blackberry and evergreens, expensive and lush, but somehow still her, still that girl from back then, comforting and intense, sometimes with the hint of metallic blood, but that never bothered him. Her hand on his hip, stroking it under the layers of fabric, making him shiver, caressing the back of his hand with her fingertips, delicate sigh in his mouth.

The faintest flicker of tongue on the edge of her upper lip, swiping down into his open mouth.

He moaned, feeling the strong wet muscle thrust into his lips, coaxing his tongue, teasing, pressing her body to his, breasts against his chest, their deep open necklines exchanging heat in the air between their skin but not quite touching, and he found himself letting go of her hand, reaching up to grab her breasts.

Her fingers closed around his wrists, forcing him to stop.

He gasped in her mouth, eyes opening.

“They’re not stress balls, Jungkook,” she snickered.

He was breathing hard, ribcage shuddering, heartbeat thundering in his ears, getting louder as he realized her red lipstick was a little messed up, feeling the stickiness on his own lips.

“You need to slow down. You can’t just grope me out in the open.”

His impatience spoke for him.

“Why not?”

His voice was low, octave deepened from lust.

Her lips curved into an amused smirk. “Oh? You have changed. You used to be so worried about someone seeing us. If anything, you should be more worried now, considering your beloved.”

“She’s not my beloved.”

She was still holding his wrists, but her head tilted, watching his eyes carefully. He sucked in a shuddering breath, feeling the guilt.

“We… we thought it would be a good idea. Because our friends told us we look nice together. It would help her career. I wouldn’t have to invest too much into it.”

He felt ashamed, but he didn’t look away because he didn’t want her to think he was lying.

“I never found a smile like yours. I accepted that I never would.”

Her eyes darkened.

“It’s dangerous, Jungkook. Ill-advised.”

He smiled and he didn’t know if it reached his eyes because his vision was blurry.

But he knew it wasn’t a lie.

“You always were. I should have chased you to the ends of the earth, even if you were only a ghost.”

He lifted his hands, hers with his, and cupped her face, running his fingertips over her cheeks, smooth and soft skin, transported back to that moment in the abandoned literature club room, her face cast in an orange glow, actually swirls from glass-blown sconces, but the past and present connected, turning it into rays from the setting sun that lit up her features, and he said what he had said then, because it was the truth.

“You’re really pretty.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“You are.”

He leaned forward and kissed the side of her lips gently.

She chuckled.

“You really are something, Jeon Jungkook.”

Her hands let go and she reached into the deep neckline of her dress, plucking something from the corset. His eyes widened as she pulled out the key card from between her breasts, smirk dancing on her lips. She winked at him.

“A lady has many hiding places.”

She flicked her wrist and inserted it into the door, unlocking it without looking.

The door opened and they stepped into her room.

time left: 06:02

“Hnnnnnnngh…”

“Dude can snore.”

“Help me turn him to his side. Don’t want him to vomit in his mouth and asphyxiate,” Kim Namjoon grunted, helped by Kim Seokjin, jerking Kim Taehyung’s body to the side. They backed up and Taehyung immediately flopped to his back, snoring away.

Seokjin thinned his mouth into a line. “Seriously?”

“Ah, here, let’s roll up the towels and use them to prop him up.”

“He’s not as cute as she is.”

“Well, she also doesn’t get piss drunk... ever.”

“Still a better cuddle buddy. Comes with built-in pillows.”

Namjoon blinked at Seokjin and shook his head, letting the odd comment slide. They managed to jam the bath towels next to Taehyung and force him to lay on his side, placing a pillow in his arms that he immediately hugged, squeezing it tightly. The snoring lessened as well.

“Guess we should go back,” Namjoon sighed, rubbing the back of his short hair.

Seokjin scoffed. “No, we shouldn’t. They’re probably all over each other as we speak.”

Namjoon frowned, raised an eyebrow at the other man. “Really? I don’t know. She seemed very hesitant about it. She said she didn’t love him.”

Seokjin snorted, somehow still elegant with his handsome face. “You really believe that?”

“That’s what she said.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “That’s what everybody says when they don’t want to admit they’re in love with someone.”

“That’s also what people say when they are, factually, not in love with someone.”

The black-haired man raised his hands and held up his index fingers, wriggling them in the air and bending them ninety-degrees, squiggling them around each other and poking the tips together repeatedly. Namjoon blinked at him.

“What are you doing?”

Seokjin rolled his eyes as if it was despairingly obvious what he was doing. “A visual representation of what they’re doing right now.”

Namjoon contorted his face in confusion, raising an eyebrow.

“… Becoming worms…?”

Seokjin groaned. “Having sex, Namjoon.”

“… How is that…?”

time left: 05:53

The door to his dreams unsealed and they tumbled inside.

The orange glow of the hallway lights spilled into the room, bleeding into the cool glow that came from the open windows, curtains pulled back to reveal the shimmering sea and bright moon, a contrast of artificial dusk and true nightfall. She pulled him in by his belt, hooking two fingers under the leather, step by sweeping step, grace that made him breathless, orange and silver and shadow, all mixing together, and then the door closed and then the sea and the moon replaced the sunset dreams.

It was a heavy thunk, closing with finality.

The room had many ornate mirrors in it to make the room seem bigger. The had gold vintage frames of different shapes and sizes, reflecting the contents of the room, the large bed and red silk sheets, the black leather chairs and black marble table bolted down to the floor, the matching marble vanity laid out with several black leather cosmetic bags, all zipped up neatly. The had small details on them – red zippers, silver locks, the designer logo engraved into the leather. The suitcases leaning against the wall matched the cosmetic bags, three of them, one larger than the first two.

Jungkook breathed her name, raising his hand, fingers spread.

Her fingertips touched his, halting him.

“Let me do it.”

He spied his expression in one of the mirrors.

The silver moonlight lit up his face and his eyes, reflecting the lust and trust in them.

He looked back to her and nodded.

“Okay.”

Glamour. Fantasy. Descent.

That was the only way he could describe the way she moved, glamour in the way her hand slowly retreated from his, a steady wave and sweep, clearly deliberate. Even in smeared lipstick, the small smirk was present on those lips, stepping around him with a swing of her hips and gentle clicks of her black patent leather heels, the slinky fabric flowing with her actions and also clinging to her body at the same time, using the arc of her stride to spread open the high slit. Letting him watch. He almost turned to follow but she placed a few fingers on his arm, purring softly.

“Don’t move.”

Fantasy, the way she slipped behind him like a shadow, and then Jungkook had to look up into the mirrors, catching glimpses of her behind him. There was no music, but she moved as if there was. If anything, the sound of the waves seemed to form its own music, and he was suddenly more aware of it, the splashes against the hull of the boat mixing with the bass of his heartbeat and the wispiness of her breath, stepping up behind him, body heat making him gasp, looking into a mirror to his left, a window illuminating his right, her hands slipping between the space of his ribs and upper arms, fingers spread like wings, warm exhale on his neck.

No words.

Just a simple kiss to the base of his head and her lips murmuring his name on his skin.

Descent.

One by one, teasing the buttons apart, her fingers ghosting the exposed skin, his heart racing as he watched those hands, peeling apart the button placket, unwrapping him like a decadent sweet. He watched his own expression framed by long curls of black, his teeth sinking into his lower lip, small mole below quivering, seeing more and more of his chest being exposed, somewhat self-conscious, but there was something spellbinding about only being able to see her hands and forearms, pointed black nails decorated with crystals that caught the light, undoing all the buttons until she reached his pants.

“I can–”

“Shh. Don’t let your impatience prevent you from enjoying your own striptease.”

His cheeks heated a little and he lowered his hands, breath hiking as she firmly gripped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it out. Jungkook took a step back, his back hitting her chest, and gasped again, feeling the softness, but she adjusted her position so her body wasn’t touching his anymore, chiding him playfully.

“Never had someone take off your clothes, Jungkook?” she chuckled against his neck, making his hairs stand on end.

“Ah, well…”

He watched those deft fingers undo the last two buttons. Then they spread apart his black shirt, reaching in, fingertips spreading out over his abs and pecs, tracing the contours of his muscles, switching between her nails and the pads of her fingertips, prickling and dainty. He couldn’t sure her face, but he saw his, and only now registered his own moans, so absorbed by her sensual movement and her touch that he didn’t even realize the embarrassing sounds falling from his lips.

“Not… since you…”

She snickered. “Seriously? What fool wouldn’t want to tear the clothes off this lovely body?”

He could feel and see his flush in the mirror. He looked away quickly, down to her hands exploring his body. “Well, I just… figured it’s easier if I do it. No one has ever been like you.”

“Hmm.”

His hands raised. He traced her knuckles, causing her to pause, caressing small circles on his sternum.

“You want to tear the clothes off my body?” he breathed, not daring to see his own reflection and know his reaction to whatever her answer was.

“I do.”

He placed his left hand on hers, heart beating faster and faster.

“Not tonight though.”

He pulled her palm away from his racing heart, not wanting her to know her effect on him, letting it linger beside his ribcage.

“Tonight, I will show you all I’ve learned, because I was always a better student than you, class representative.”

He found himself laughing a little, suddenly sheepish. “Yeah. Your name was always in the top five percent. I was pretty bad at school. I don’t know why everyone voted for–oooh…”

Her fingers touched his nipples, rubbing delicately, sending strange shivers all over him, shallowing his breath, making him look up and see his dark nipples being teased by expert hands. Her nails nicked them lightly and he whined in his throat, feeling them harden against her fingertips, surprised at the arousal from the simple touch, something he never paid attention to or cared about. His hair was covering part of his face.

Jungkook reached up and pushed his hair back, pressing his chest into those hands.

Saw one of her eyes behind his head, sharp and sultry with winged liner, twinkling as she watched him.

“I voted for you because I thought it would be funny since you weren’t even trying.”

He didn’t really have a response for that, too busy looking at his own face and body, shivering as she tweaked his nipples and pushed them in slow circles, his arms descending to lower the shadows, letting them suspend by his sides.

She shifted beside him and half of her lips appeared, on the toes of her heels, whispering close to his ear, seductive and dark.

“You were good-looking then, and you’re even more handsome now, Jungkook.”

The sound of the ocean, the silver moonlight shining off her blue-black hair giving her skin a surreal quality, almost doll-like, the mirror reflecting his expression, desire and anticipation.

She removed her hands and grabbed the collar of his shirt, yanking it down.

He inhaled sharply and her face disappeared.

Dress shirt stripped from his body and flung away, the crisp black fabric flaring out, a shadow cast aside.

Jungkook spun around.

Does this man know the meaning of calm the fuck down?

You rolled your eyes inwardly as you witnessed Jungkook turn around, facing you again even though you told him not to the move. He had always been like this, overzealous, but he didn’t seem as clumsy as before, although…

He grabbed your tits.

Hah.

He blinked rapidly, surprised. “Huh?”

You shook your head and knocked his hands away, sighing. “Pasties, Jungkook. To cover my nipples.”

You reached into your dress and scooped your breasts out, trapping them between the v-neckline. His eyes bulged slightly when he saw the smooth black satin circles flush to the apex of your breasts. They fit perfectly, seamless so they were unseen even under the slinky fabric of the black gown.

“W-Whoa…”

“What? I’m a burlesque dancer. Of course, I have fancy nipple covers. This is basic wardrobe.”

He tilted his head. “I’ve never seen any like these. They look like they’re part of your body.”

You tutted. “Obviously, they aren’t. You know I have nipples.”

And you reached up and peeled them off, flinging them aside carelessly.

Jungkook gasped, staring at your nipples with wide eyes.

“Don’t act like you haven’t seen nipples,” you scowled. “You better not be a virgin with how hot you’ve become.”

His hands shot up and you grabbed his wrists again, forcing them back down.

Jungkook whined, eyes shifting back up to you, begging to touch them.

You stiffened slightly. What kind of reaction was that?

“They’re so big,” he whispered huskily, visibly shuddering, shaking with the craving to touch them. “I remember they were soft. And…” His breathing hitched, trembling in your hands. “I remember they tasted so good. Amazing. No one has ever tasted as good as you.”

His eyes flickered back down, biting his lip. He tried to break free, but you held. A single glance exchanged and you let go, realizing he was going to do something other than attack them. Instead, he collected the straps of your dress and pulled them back up, slowly, moaning as the slinky black fabric skimmed over your breasts, your prominent nipples sticking out, hardening from the light friction.

“Fuck, that’s so fucking sexy.”

Well, maybe he did have some appreciation for the visual after all.

“You see why I need the pasties.”

He pulled the straps up, whimpering as he watched your nipples strain against your dress, lifting your breasts in the confines of the fabric and lowering them, lifting, lowering, repeating the gesture.

You raised an eyebrow.

“Jungkook… are you bouncing my tits on purpose?”

His dark brown orbs darted to you. Guilty.

“Um… y-you won’t let me touch them…”

You weren’t sure whether to sigh or to laugh. You just shook your head, backing up out of his grasp. His hands were still outstretched, lips forming a small pout. You almost regretted it, but his expression quickly changed as you casually flicked down the straps, freeing your breasts again, dropping his hands and linking them together under his waist, waiting, now invested in what you had in store.

Oh.

He chewed on his lip and gave you an expectant look.

A flutter in your chest.

The side of your lips curved upward, tongue sliding out to graze the edge of your upper lip before disappearing.

You reached back, leisurely undoing the fastenings of the corset, sweeping your legs so the high slit flared apart, turning around, letting him witness the slow undress. Every action was deliberate, the wide arc of your leg moving the skirt aside to prevent you from tripping as you turned without using your hands, the wide stance of your feet to relieve pressure on your heels and to prevent the dress from sliding down too soon, and even the position of your fingers, poised so you could run a nail down your spine as two of them pinched the hook-and-eye and separated them, traveling down to the top of your ass. Every movement was thought out, details that made up the bigger picture, constructing your ultimate goal.

A sensual striptease.

You caught his reaction in a mirror to your right.

His sparkling brown eyes were wide, jaw dropped.

A lot of people had seen you take off your clothes, but no one made you feel as satisfied as Jeon Jungkook, then in his school uniform and now shirtless in his slacks, hands twisting in front of his crotch.

Then you saw your face.

You were smiling.

You really did smile when you thought he wasn’t looking.

Another glimpse at his face and you found him staring at you, silver moonlight glinting off his eyebrow piercing and flooding into his eyes, bringing out the stars within.

You released your hand and your dress tumbled to the ground.

He sucked in a shuddering breath, your name drifting from his lips.

“H… Holy shit…”

You did have an amazing waist-to-ass ratio.

Proper corset training and specific hit workouts to perfect your craft contributed. You couldn’t simply be pretty. You had to be strong and flexible to do the stunts and to walk in your red bottoms for the entire performance. Christian Louboutin didn’t make his shoes to be comfy. He made heels to make feet look enticing and sexy.

The price to pay for glamour and vanity.

It did give you some powerful calves though.

You lifted one shoe, flashing that blazingly red sole of your heel, balancing on one leg for a second.

This was to prevent you from getting tangled on your now fallen dress. You tightened your core, shifting your weight, knowing it would give Jungkook an irresistible view of your plump derriere in your high French-cut black satin panties, the particular style adding illusion to the already stark proportion.

In short, your ass looked fucking fabulous.

You stepped out of your dress, one leg, then the other, taking care not to step on it, adding a little flourish of your hands to create those body lines, ever the performer. You glanced at the mirror and was pleased to find Jungkook hadn’t moved, although his hands were now firmly open, palms down on his crotch, whimpering in his throat.

“Soon,” you promised, and you would keep it.

He nodded, swallowing hard.

You turned your fingers inward, hooking each index finger on the sides of your panties, rocking your hips slowly, lowering your lashes, following the beat of the sea, tugging down the right side a few centimeters and then the left, listening to his breathing and controlling yours. You bent over slowly at the hips, sticking your ass out, listening to his low moan as your glistening slit was revealed, sliding your undergarments down your thighs and calves, placing them carefully onto the floor.

You gradually straightened, breathing out, keeping it as one smooth motion.

You stepped out of your panties.

Now you were clad in only your black patent Louboutins and black diamond choker.

This time, you found your reflection in the mirror to delicately correct your smeared red lipstick with your fingertips. Good enough. You nodded at your reflection. The corners of your mouth curved upwards.

You turned to face him, showing Jungkook your smile.

This smile was real.

The smile she only showed when she was with him. He didn’t know if that was a valid thought or not, but he liked to think so. Besides, no smile meant as much as this one. That he was sure of, because he had been chasing this smile for all these years before finally accepting that he would never find another one like it. It was too precious to belong to anyone else.

His smile.

If his dick wasn’t trying to rip open his pants, Jungkook might have cried seeing it for the first time.

He couldn’t speak, too afraid he was going to lose it right then and there.

She walked towards him.

No, walk wasn’t the correct word. Strode, strut, glided, fuck, he didn’t know, she just moved as fluidly as a shadow and water combined, silver moonlight glistening off her skin and her diamonds, and he knew he would never love the mere act of walking more than when he watched her move.

She stilled.

He stopped breathing.

Her foot raised, toes tracing the inside of the heel, raising the pointed toe, balancing it on the stiletto, and she flicked it backward, causing it to tumble and somersault backward, falling to its side.

Fuck.

She thought of everything.

She balanced on tiptoe and did the same to the other shoe, discarding it with a swift tick.

He made a less-than-elegant noise of her name mixed with a needy whine.

“P… Please…”

Jungkook was quite sure he was a hair’s breath away from ripping off his pants to get some relief.

She finally made her way to stand in front of him. Smile so close now, emphasized by painted lips.

Her hands closed over his, peeling them away from his crotch, holding them loosely. She leaned forward, placing a delicate kiss on his lips. Deep, meaningful, nothing flashy. Drew back, still smiling.

This smile.

He wanted to protect it forever.

“I should have told you that I love you, but I didn’t know it then,” he whispered.

She chuckled.

“I know now.”

She was lowering herself as he spoke, tilting her head at him, inviting him to continue. Getting to her knees, positioning her feet right under her ass, neat and orderly. His hands dropped, leaving hers on his belt, undoing the buckle, her gaze still on him. Looking up at him with amusement, diamonds glittering on her throat, perky tits and nipples, thighs on display, kneeling in front of his crotch.

“I love you.”

Jungkook meant it, every syllable.

He never meant it more in her life.

“I know.”

What?

She casually undid his belt and slid the closure open, unzipping his slacks.

“Wait… what?” he sputtered, blinking rapidly.

“I know you love me,” she repeated calmly.

Jungkook had time for a single blink before his pants were yanked down to his knees. He started, almost falling over, but her hands came up behind his legs and gripped them, keeping him upright.

“Careful,” she purred, stroking the backs of his thighs.

He jerked his head down, hardly able to breathe, shock blossoming as she leaned forward, hot breath warming his black boxer briefs. Eyes on his face, pink tongue extending.

“O-Oh, fuuuck…”

She planted her tongue over his hardness and soaked it with saliva, wetting the fabric and tracing the outline, molding his underwear to his length, sending him into gasping shivers, heat from her tongue and then her lips closing, blowing a cool stream over it, hot and cold, sensation and deprivation, too much and not enough, placing kisses all over and he flinched with every one, savoring the feeling, the touch that was familiar and unfamiliar, everything he wanted.

“W-Wait… that’s dirty…”

“Not as dirty as the things I want to do to you.”

Not as dirty as the things I want to do to you.

Pants racking his torso, looking down, and it was the same but different, her lips kissing up his abs, his chest, back to his face, holding him to her, lipstick smeared and now on his skin. Open mouth to elegantly parted lips, gasping as she collected her breasts and pressed her nipples to his chest, squashing the softness to his pecs.

“Spit on my cleavage,” she breathed.

“W-What?”

She raised an eyebrow, knowing that he heard her perfectly well, squeezing her breasts together and rubbing them on his chest, sending the electric sensation of her large nipples dragging across his heartbeat, rolling her shoulders to the beat of the sea, bathed in silver moonlight.

“Spit on my tits, Jungkook.”

“I… c-couldn’t… do that to you…” he moaned, pitch hiking with pleasure.

She didn’t chide him to cover his mouth this time, instead smirking wider, licking her teeth. “Sure, you can. Do it, golden boy. Spit on me.”

She hooked a leg over his hip and grinded her crotch to his wet one, causing him to whine, knowing his cock was so close to her pussy but not yet skin to skin, the soaked fabric barrier driving him insane, his hands coming up to grip her waist and press her down on him, staring into her eyes, inhale shaky and erratic.

She smiled, teasing, sculptural, his.

“You trust me?”

Jungkook was drunk on something he didn’t understand and it was love.

“Yeah…”

He leaned forward, capturing her lips, an intense, burning kiss. She smiled into his kiss, and he knew she was aware of his nervousness, but she remained patient as she always was, pressing back daintily, taking his breath away. He broke apart, trembling.

She nodded, telling him it was okay.

He collected saliva at the tip of his tongue and looked down, spitting into her cleavage.

It shot out of his mouth, splattering over the swell of her breasts and onto his own chest. His ears burned, self-conscious at the dirty act, but she moaned deliciously, backing up, his saliva dripping down and stuck to the inside curve of her breasts. He had a moment to appreciate the image, the most beautiful woman in the world with her diamond choker and his spit on her tits glistening in the moonlight reflected by the sea.

“Wow.”

That was all he could say as the image burned into his memory.

She smirked, falling to her knees, tugging his black boxer briefs down his thighs, his stiff cock popping out, bobbing in the air at the suddenness of its release, and then trapped once more, except this time not in drenched fabric but in her soft, saliva-covered breasts – or his saliva, depending on how he thought about it – but he couldn’t think about it, abrupt pleasure shooting up his spine, throwing his head back in a moan, eyes darting everywhere, surrounded by mirrors, reflections of his face, his long black hair a wild mess, his facial features consumed by wanton lust, his throbbing cock jammed between her breasts and her body sliding up and down, her large nipples rubbing against his crotch and thighs, oh, fuck, the sensation insane, soft and rough and wet, her perfectly pinned hair leaving only the curls at the ends bouncing from her effort.

She spit down his length, adding to the lubrication and her name burst out of his mouth in an erratic groan.

“F-Fuck…!”

She pushed his cock up, almost uncomfortable, but then her mouth closed around the tip, tongue swirling, and he was lost again, ecstasy as she switched to blowing him, pressing her breasts to his thighs, smearing the saliva on them too, covering his cock in red lipstick, soaking every centimeter with saliva, running her tongue over the veins and the head, his hands clenching into fists, close, so close, and then she popped her mouth off, leaving him near tears and in whines.

“P-Please, let me cum, please…”

“I want you to cum on my necklace,” she panted, planting his cock in her cleavage again, lacing her fingers over it, pressing the head down into the slick skin, shock of her words and the escalating pleasure, his chin lowering and staring down at glittering black diamonds and the engorged tip of his length popping in and out of her breasts.

“You want me to… cum on your necklace…?” he echoed hollowly, in utter disbelief.

“Fuck yes, I do,” she grinned, tip of her tongue flickering at the edge of her lips. “Cum on my diamonds, Jungkook.”

Well, fuck.

This was the worst surreal and hottest moment of his life.

He clenched his jaw and thrust his hips into her chest, adding to the stimulation, chasing it, seeing her grin grow, devilish and devious, squeezing him tighter, faster, faster, faster, his hands and his body shaking, gripped by pleasure and her hold, panting her name over and over, his prayer, his drug, his lifeline, trying to hold out, the line inside him pulled taut, thinner and thinner, snapping.

“F-Fuck, I’m gonna cum!”

His hips jolted and he forced them upward, her head tipping back as the thick red tip popped out, twitching and splattering thick streams of white, painting the black diamonds with his white orgasm, clinging to the jewels and her collarbones, dripping down, covering her with his strong and masculine scent. She lifted her body, trapping his jolting cock in her breasts, and he moaned helplessly, rutting against her skin, sparks of pleasure shooting through his veins, uncontrollable flinching and shuddering as more dribbled out, milked out by the tightness.

“Oooooooh, f-fuck… fuck, I’m s-so sorry…” he gasped out, wincing at the mess he made.

“Ah, shut up, Jungkook.”

In awe, he watched her back up slightly, strings of his orgasm all over her breasts, chest, and diamonds.

She smiled and dipped her fingers in it, coating them with his cum and bringing them to her smeared red lips, licking them off one by one, pink tongue slipping between her elegant digits, moaning as she drank up his taste.

Eyes on his, drunk on him.

time left: --:--

Kim Namjoon leaned against Kim Seokjin’s shoulder, listening to the other man’s deep breathing.

They were sitting on the plush green couch in Kim Taehyung’s room.

The night was quiet, nothing but the sound of the waves coming through the open window, a light breeze as Namjoon watched the moon reflect off the ocean. Seokjin had already fallen asleep, head resting against the back of the sofa, tired from the day’s events and needing the rest. Namjoon felt the drowsiness beginning to weigh on him too, using Seokjin’s wide shoulder as his headrest. He had opened the window to prevent the room from getting too stuffy.

It would have been more comfortable to be in that giant bed with the one he was paid to protect, but he hoped she was in good hands now.

He smiled to himself, watching the silver moonlight dance off the choppy waters.

His mind went back to those moments, moments when he had to hold her shoulders and remind her of who and where she was, moments when he sat and waited as she clenched her teeth and a skilled medical tattoo artist filled in those white scars all over her hands, moments of when she finally sat him and Seokjin down and told them why she sometimes woke up at night, screaming and crying, yelling the names of past demons.

She had told them she was sorry, sorry for being weak, sorry for not taking responsibility.

Seokjin had scoffed, smacking her lightly on the head. “Are you an idiot? You have been through enough. Stop it with that nonsense. It’s part of our job, so let us do our job.”

After that, Namjoon would make it a point to check up on her at night, reaching over to soothe her brow as she slept, relaxing her face with gentle touches. He wanted to be there in case she woke up from a nightmare, and it became a habit, until Seokjin too elbowed himself in the bed, muttering that she always got the best digs anyway, so why shouldn’t he? He was handsome enough, after all.

They only accompanied her to events or appearances.

It bothered Namjoon to think that sometimes she was alone in her own home, waking up screaming and crying, and that he couldn’t be there.

He wondered what would come of this.

Jeon Jungkook.

Did he know that if he broke her heart that two ‘big-scary-dudes-with-massive-shoulders’ were going to find his ass and rearrange it?

Hm.

Namjoon closed his eyes, letting the night take him under its wing.

time left: error

The black diamond choker was on the vanity, covered in Jungkook’s cum.

Both of your clothes were on the floor, shoes, pants, dress, undergarments, strewn all over, a mess, along with a now cold, wet, white bath towel that smelled like semen and saliva. It had what was left of your red lipstick on it.

One of the designer cosmetic bags was open.

There were condoms scattered on the bed now, thrown over the red silk sheets.

Jungkook was holding your hands, palms up, tenderly kissing them.

It felt strange, his soft lips on your scars.

Most people didn’t realize it. It wasn’t something they looked for or thought to think twice about, because to them, your hands had always been like that. It would be rude to comment or mention it even if they had noticed.

But Jungkook had known your hands before they became like this.

“It’s why I stopped going to school.”

He kissed the pads of your fingertips, looking at you with those dark brown orbs.

“Did something bad happen?”

You smiled, somewhere between sad and apologetic.

“I wanted to make sure that I could still see you, but unfortunately I ended up doing the exact opposite.”

He squeezed your hands tightly, giving you his own smile. “Still, you came back to me.”

You chuckled ruefully. “Not with the best intentions.”

The silver moonlight highlighted all your favorite features, the cupid’s bow of his lips, the tiny mole underneath, the wrinkle of his nose with his smile, the stars in his eyes.

“You’ve always been dangerous and ill-advised for me, but I always liked that about you.”

You arched a brow. “Hm, you were a shitty class representative, huh?”

Jungkook shrugged. “You weren’t really a class delinquent either.”

You shook your head, pulling your hands out of his. “Look at you. What kind of class presentative gets all these tattoos?” you teased, dancing your fingers up his right forearm and elbow, tracing the outlines of the script and graphics, following the swirls of the clouds and flower petals with your nails, listening to his shallow breath at your touch. “And an eyebrow piercing? Are you trying to tell everyone you’re one of the cool kids now?”

His lips twisted into a small frown. “Am I cool?”

You shrugged. “Every time I hear about the cool kids in our grade, it’s just about how they got knocked up too early or how they dropped out of university, so you tell me.”

“I haven’t gotten knocked up.”

You gave him a look, bordering on impatience.

“Wait, I mean–”

You raised a hand and planted it on his chest, pushing him down on the bed.

“Enough. Stop talking, please.”

You crawled over his body, placing your hands by his head, looking down at him. Jungkook stared up at you, long black hair splayed over the pillows. He was definitely a man now, sharp jawline, manicured brows, slight dark circles from long nights, and, as you leaned down, expensive cologne now, still light and clean but with a twist of sharpness and sweet fruit, still with the same warmth. Your lips pressed against his jaw, leaving kisses, sinking your weight onto him, skin to skin, his gasps under you, and now it seemed like you were back in that time, his teenage self and your teenage self, the same eagerness as his arms surrounded you, running his hands down your back, but now he added his nails, making you hum in approval. He did it more, scratching his nails over your spine as you kissed his jaw, his throat, his ear, jingling his earrings with your tongue, whispering against his skin.

“No one has ever been what you are to me.”

You didn’t bother using past tense, because it wasn’t.

You sat down on his thigh, his semi-hard cock twitching against your skin, turned on by your kisses and your tongue toying with his ear.

“You weren’t even very good, you know. You were kinda shit. Too impatient.”

He shuddered, tensing his forearms against your sides.

“I’m b-better now…” he whimpered, turning into a moan as you bit his ear and rubbed your wetness on his thigh, painting it with your juices. You kept it slow, leisurely, with even pressure.

“Still…”

You lifted your head, bringing your fingers inward, slipping them into his hair, pushing it back, caressing his temple with your thumbs.

“I have loved you all this time, Jungkook, even back then when I didn’t know what love was, when I was only chasing a feeling that was different from all the others.”

His eyes widened, stunned by your words.

“Ah, nevertheless, I came back too late.”

“No.”

His hands on your back, holding you tightly to him.

“I want to kiss you all the time,” he whispered, words from long ago, bringing them back. “And I will.”

He raised his forehead and touched yours.

“I know it’s not fair, I know it’s bad, I know it’s terrible, but I’ll be fucked up if you can’t be right here, with me.”

His lips to yours, small kisses and closed eyes, hiding his tears behind his lashes.

“You are the happiness, and if you continue to love me, I will never let you go.”

That’s what Jungkook said, but the sentiment was slightly interrupted by his cock being so hard that it was actually raising your thigh up into the air.

You smiled against his lips, chuckling.

“I guess I’ll bring a towel when you get her cocktail splashed into your face.”

“Maybe two. She has a lot of internet friends.”

“Hm.”

You lifted your head, smirking.

“Well, I can’t say it would be the first relationship I’ve ruined, although those were far more indirect.”

Jungkook tried to make the moment romantic, but her naked body was on top of him with her wet pussy rubbing on his thigh and his dick was coming back to life right in the middle of his speech.

Still, he couldn’t really complain, because at the moment he was ripping open a condom, on his knees between her legs, rolling it down, eyes roaming over her body lines, poised and elegant and sexy, her hair flared out on the pillows, still neatly pinned up, some kind of sorcery, but that didn’t surprise Jungkook, for she had always had her spell on him and he was better for it.

“You want missionary?” she teased.

He bit his lip, nodding.

“I want to watch your face.”

Her tongue flickered out on the edge of her upper lip, accenting the high point of her smirk.

“Good, then I can watch yours.”

He positioned himself in front of her, pausing for a second, unsure now, but she simply grinned and reached between her legs, one hand on his length and the other on his hip, digging her nails into his ass and shoving him inside her.

“Oh, fuck!”

She seemed highly amused, but he was gone, sudden tightness and wetness enveloping him, pitching forward and catching himself on his palms, sinking into red silk, the intensity bursting from his core and washing over him, shuddering and gasping as she gripped his ass with both hands and sank him down into her pussy, down, down, drowning in the feeling, diving into the depths of pleasure, fuck, he felt it everywhere, her walls clenching and wrapped around his length, the sensitive head rubbing against the ridges, and the emotions that rushed through him as he looked into her eyes, a little humiliated that it affected him so much, a little shocked at how good it felt even with the condom, and a lot of lust and trust and love, all rolling into one, and she purred his name, smooth and silky and gentle, and he couldn’t help himself, slowly rolling his hips and smacking down hard, burying himself to the base, eyelids fluttering, feeling it radiate over his body.

“Too... hard?” he choked out, trying to be considerate, desperate not to fuck up.

She shook her head, snickering.

“Not even close.”

“How can I–?”

But she didn’t let him finish, tapping the mandala flower tattoo on his right elbow and he raised his arms, at loss for words and breath when she raised her legs to his shoulders and tugged his forearms back down, his hands landing on the bed once more.

Oh no.

This was tighter.

“Fuck me, Jungkook, and make it rough.”

I can’t talk or I will blow my load in two seconds.

He nodded, tensing his jaw, and smacked his crotch down, her thighs smacking against his chest.

Oh, fuck me.

He wished he could sound less desperate and less ruined, but he simply didn’t have the capacity for that any longer, tumbling into a series of wild moans as he built up the pace, wave after wave of pleasure crashing into him, too much sensation, soft thighs, wet tightness squeezing his throbbing length, her hands on his upper arms, holding on tightly, his name falling from her mouth along with her erotic exhale. He loved every sound she made, every single one, her moan, her hiss, her growl, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, that’s it, give it to me, Jungkook, loved the way she looked at him, a mixture of bliss and slyness, loved the sound their bodies made, a harsh rhythmic smack, louder and louder, messing up the sheets, her head tipping back, eyes closing, fuck, yes, gonna cum if you keep going like that, so he did, hard, firm, powerful slaps of skin-to-skin, feeling so good but holding himself back, biting his lip hard and moaning in his throat, not willing to orgasm until he made her do so, at least twice.

Jungkook was being ridiculous, he knew, but he wouldn’t forgive himself if he lost it too soon during his first time inside her.

“Mmm, fuck, Jungkook, fuck!”

A sharp throb and then a cascading effect, brutal massages of his length, and he didn’t even realize it, pausing for a second from the strength of her orgasm, his cock clenched all over and squeezed, shocking pleasure that made his eyes roll back, struggling with every fiber of his being to not explode, edging himself by ceasing his thrust, and then he drew back and rammed back into her, clawing up the sheets to press her further down into the bed, nearly bending her in half, but she didn’t seem to mind, gripping his arms and raising her hips to meet him, deeper now, the head being constricted even tighter by this changed angle, him sucking in a deep inhale, smelling blackberry, evergreen, and sex, the sweet smell of her pussy, reminding him of sitting on the bus on his way home and catching that scent on his hands and clothes, not regretting it, loving her mark on him.

It was better now.

Better because he was actually in her pussy.

And better because her teeth caught the side of her lower lip, a second of lost control, lashes lowering, moan in her mouth, his name, his name, his name leaking from her lips.

“Oh, Jungkook…”

He would never tire of it.

Never.

It burst again, a lewd squelch, and the insides of his thighs were soaked with viscous honey, clinging to his balls, violent throbs around his jerking length and Jungkook was gone, gone, everything accumulating at the peak and shattering down, his deep moan flooding the room, shooting his orgasm into the condom as his quivering cock was clenched all around, unbearable euphoria that he welcomed, letting it consume every nerve and vibrate through him, a feeling he never wanted to end.

He let it swallow him, her ocean, her moonlight, her night, and he promised himself that he would never leave.

All in all, Jeon Jungkook hadn’t changed much. That was alright. It was clear that you both had unfinished business in the past that was being hashed out right now.

Through sex, because how else?

He was behind you, both of you kneeling on the bed, his breath on your skin, murmuring your name, wonderment and desire, leaving a trail of kisses on your shoulders and neck.

“You can bite me, you know.”

He nipped at your skin experimentally. You pinched his finger on your upper arm, the little sheepish emoji on his middle right. He squeaked and bit harder. You hummed approvingly, lowering your hand.

“You’re turning me into a crazy person,” Jungkook mumbled to the curve of your neck.

“You were already a crazy person. You just pretend you’re not.”

“That’s not true…”

You gently peeled his right hand from your arm and yanked him forward. He inhaled sharply, hard chest hitting your back as you tugged his arm forward, curving it around you.

“What non-crazy person blacks out the inner part of their elbow and tattoos the bone on the outer part as well?” you accused, rubbing his muscular forearm against your nipples, smirking at his moan, his shiver traveling through your back and to the sparks of pleasure radiating from your breasts at the lovely friction.

“Um…”

That was as far as he gave you as an answer because he had no good answers.

“Mhm.”

His hand curved around your left breast and he ran his fingers over it, tugging at your nipple. You leaned into his touch, sighing softly. Well, maybe you had been a bit harsh. He had changed. Less clumsy now, attaining his own irresistible sensuality that he probably wasn’t even aware of, considering the wavering in his tone.

“You’ve probably had better than me, huh…”

“You would be surprised at the complete inadequacy of the human race when it comes to sex, Jungkook. Most people don’t give two shits about listening to their partner’s wants.”

He pinched your nipple and you moaned, rubbing your ass against his crotch.

“You always do everything I want and even things I didn’t even know I wanted,” he mumbled.

His cock was getting the hint with every rock of your hips, rousing at the soft friction. You listened to his rapid breathing, amused, the amusement turning into fond irritation as you felt his free hand slide between your bodies, tucking his hardening length between your ass cheeks, now slowly and non-discreetly humping you.

Well.

Can’t say you were surprised.

“You’re not that hard to read, Jungkook.”

He was leaking all over the top of your ass, ramming the head into your tailbone, now both hands on your chest, forgetting to answer, too absorbed in touching you, tugging at your nipples in time with his rocking hips, lips back to your neck, biting down and sucking hard, leaving marks. There was power in his hold, passion and desperation, a needy whine vibrating in his throat, faster, harder, pinching your nipples and rubbing the tips, pulling slightly, pleasure from his lips and his hands, your own reaching back and clawing at the small of his back, leaving scratches, yes, please, harder, mark me, make me yours, and you chuckled at his declaration, you were always mine, Jungkook, and he moaned your name in affirmation, licking up your neck, hot shaking breath ghosting your ear.

“Wanna fuck you from behind.”

You sunk your nails into his skin and brought your fingers outward, flicking your wrists to leave sharp lines of lust, his moan in your wake.

“Do it,” you drawled, voice saturated with need.

He pushed you down and your caught yourself with your hands, clutching fistfuls of red silk. You heard the rip of another condom and his groan as he encased his aching length, one hand on your ass, and you spread your legs, his knees fitting between them, the head grazing your wet opening and he slid in with a shudder, filling you up and stretching you out, a little pain that dissipated as he squeezed your ass with two hands, sighing with satisfaction with you.

“I know I said I want to kiss you all the time, and I do,” he panted, stalling.

You smiled, turning your head to look over your shoulder. Jungkook looked back at you and he reached forward, driving deeper into you, making you mewl for him. He plucked the pins from your hair, one by one, undoing the perfection, tossing them aside as he spoke, shrouding your shoulders and face with cool-toned black, surreal and glamorous.

“But I think I’ve decided I also want to fuck you all the time.”

You smirked. “You don’t take much convincing, I must say.”

He eased the last pin from your hair and flicked it aside.

You heard it fall to the floor.

That one wouldn’t be found in the morning.

He grinned. “Maybe I already knew you would be amazing.”

Instead of replying, you leaned forward and then smacked your ass back into his crotch.

Jungkook reeled, hand flying back to your hip, grabbing it tightly as you roughly pushed back into him, his natural response being to thrust forward, compounding the pleasure for you and for him, looking forward again and tipping your head back, letting go, moaning for him, his hardness twitching with your sound, loud and getting louder, bodies tangled, bed creaking, clutching your ass for dear life. You lifted one hand and brought beside your hip and Jungkook gripped your forearm, your body naturally dropping lower, deepening each thrust, and that was it, the uncontrollable need resonating in his deep voice, forcefully pounding you into the mattress, thighs, crotch, balls slapping into your lower half, carnal and wild and visceral, his name and your name mixing together, filling the room with the sight, sound, and smell of sex, so strong, fuck, he was so fucking strong, and so were you, a shock every time your bodies connected, until you were wailing with the ferocity of orgasm, squirming and clutching his forearm as he held yours, clenching around his length, but this time he didn’t stop, fucking you through it, gasping for air.

“Oh fuck, yes, fuck, do it again, cum for me again, fuck, feels so fucking good, feels like you’re choking my cock…”

And he brought it out of you again, your right hand punched into the sheets, your left in his hold, moaning for him, Jungkook, fuck, Jungkook, for him then, him now, him forever, ecstasy and elation, hitting a high you thought didn’t even exist, lust and trust and love, raising your torso and slamming your palm onto the headboard, rattling the whole damn bed.

“Fuck!”

Slamming back onto his cock and squeezing hard, Jungkook gasping at the suddenness of the harsh throbs around his length, jolting inside you and spilling another into the condom, your head whipping to the side, spotting a mirror and there he was, head thrown back, long black hair touching his shoulders, open mouth, eyes rolled back, chest shuddering, your name a shaky moan, holding you tight, his right arm travelling, wrapping around you and lifting you up, and then it was you in the mirror, your body against his, skin to skin, his dark brown orbs shifting down, feeling your eyes on him, and then he was watching your reflections, seeing your joined bodies, panting in unison, both sweaty and spent.

You smiled at him, lit up by moonlight and mirrors.

He smiled back.

And then his hand was on your chin and he turned your head to face him, tilting his head and kissing your smile, seeing it not its reflection but the real thing, no longer only when you thought he wasn’t looking.

time left: 00:00

“Oi.”

Jungkook didn’t recognize that voice at all. He concluded must still be dreaming.

A finger podded his temple.

“Oi!”

He started, but the arms encircling him pinned him in place, not letting him and his naked body leave the bed. Softness pressed against his back, bare nipples rubbing against his skin. He froze.

His dick was rock-hard.

A black-haired man in a black suit with a disturbingly handsome face was glaring at him.

“You animals made a fucking mess.”

“Go away, Seokjin.”

Jungkook squeaked, unable to talk because one of the hands holding him was dancing downwards under the covers, wrapping around his impossibly stiff length. He prayed it wouldn’t start moving up and down, but it did. Slowly. Not enough, but still too much, because he didn’t really want to get jacked off first thing in the morning while someone was very clearly assessing whether or not to cause extreme bodily harm to him.

Well, he did want to get jacked off first thing in the morning.

It was the bodily harm he was less enthused about.

The man named Seokjin squinted at him and it took every fiber of Jungkook’s being to not make a goddamn peep as her fingers ghosted the head, smearing slick pre-cum over the slit.

“I want to take a shower.”

“Then go take a shower. I left towels for you,” she mumbled behind Jungkook’s back.

“Namjoon’s in the shower right now.”

“Then order us some breakfast.”

“I sent Taehyung to do that. Also, it’s noon.”

“Couldn’t you order room service?”

Seokjin shrugged and Jungkook realized his shoulders were huge. “He said he had a friend who worked in the kitchen and was going to reserve us a table.”

She raised her head, resting her chin on Jungkook’s right shoulder and pulsing his cock with her right hand under the sheets. “Taehyung has a lot of friends, doesn’t he?”

Seokjin looked at Jungkook pointedly.

“Er… yeah. T-Tons…”

Those brown eyes narrowed, scrutinizing Jungkook suspiciously. “He seems like a dork.”

“I like dorks. That’s why I keep you around.”

Seokjin stuck his tongue out childishly and yelled at the top of his lungs. “Namjoon!”

“I’m done!”

“Finally,” Seokjin grumbled, walking off and yanking the bathroom door open, barging in unceremoniously.

“Gah!”

“Gah!!!”

“Oh, fuck, please, d-don’t…”

“It’ll only take me a second.”

You dove under the covers and Jungkook clapped his hands over his mouth, your grip on his twitching length moving fast and tight, rubbing your tongue on the hot head, and you were right, it only took a few seconds, and then Jungkook was hissing through his fingers, now, fuck, now, and your mouth swallowed his cock, not a moment too soon as thick spurts of his orgasm shot into your throat, coating the back of your tongue, savoring his smell and his thighs under your breasts, rubbing your nipples on the muscle.

“N-No, stop, stop,” Jungkook whimpered desperately, grabbing you by the shoulders and yanking you up, your head popping out, smirk on your lips.

You opened your mouth and showed him your tongue covered in his cum.

“Shit, you’re going to be the death of me…”

He hurriedly nudged your chin and you closed it, grinning.

Dangerous.

Ill-advised.

Jungkook grinned back at you helplessly, holding your smiling face in his hands.

---

some time later

“I have two towels.”

“She didn’t throw her drink at me.”

“Damn. I even seduced the bartender a little bit to get those plush cotton ones.”

“She asked if she could keep the ring so she could sell it and give the money to her secret, less good-looking boyfriend so he could buy her a new ring.”

“Oh. Wait, what?”

He shrugged, rubbing the back of his head. “I said sure, because it wasn’t like the love of my life couldn’t afford her own diamonds.”

“Ah, true, true.”

“I might be slandered for a little while on the internet.”

“Nah, you won’t. Maybe for like, six hours. Then everyone’s attention span will be somewhere else. Also, your taste upgraded in their eyes, from social media influencer to burlesque dancer.”

You grinned, raising your hands to create a finger frame of your index fingers and thumbs, enclosing the handsome face of Jeon Jungkook, long black hair, silver brow piercing, dark sculpted eyebrows, big brown eyes, defined jawline, shapely pink lips, mole of his nose and cheek, and finally that perfect mole underneath his lower lip, appearing as he smiled at you, confused at what you were doing.

“Even though we all know you’re just a hopeless sucker for the class delinquent. Tsk tsk.”

His grin grew mischievous, walking over to you as you lowered your hands.

“Well, I was a shit class representative anyway.”

He leaned down to kiss you, smile to smile.

Twelve hours.

Sunset to night.

fin.

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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fencer-x · 3 years

Text

So I went to see “Free! The Final Stroke” part 1, and now you all have to hear me scream about it

I was scared to see this movie. I didn’t enjoy Season 3, the High Speed! movie was a monumental disappointment, and I hadn’t been active in the fandom for a long while. Maybe I was over it. Maybe there was no getting back that heart-pounding excitement and adrenaline rush of watching these episodes week after week with a server full of equally excited friends.

But I knew I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t see this. If I didn’t at least close this chapter of my life. I needed to see how they wrapped everything up. Even though I knew it was going to be a train wreck, it was a train wreck I needed to see.

So I bought my ticket, double-masked, and waited for the lights to go down.

When they came back up, after it was said and done....I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry real big fat tears of happiness because this was what i had been waiting for and missing. This. THIS WAS SO GOOD. This was SO FULFILLING. And even though it ends on a spectacular emotionally gut-wrenching cliffhanger, I WAS GLAD FOR IT.

Wanna know what’s in store for you when this finally comes to your neighborhood? Want to know if it’s something you can allow yourself to get excited for now, instead of worrying it won’t live up to your expectations? Then get behind this cut and see!

I assume if you’ve made it this far, you want to be spoiled.

Good. You’re gonna get spoiled. Know that I love you all enough that I’m not making you parse my chickenscratch notes I took in the dark without looking at the paper and will instead attempt to decipher them myself.

What this is not: A 100% detailed and faithful retelling of what went on in the movie. I was too busy watching and enjoying to get more than the broad strokes, and while I’m quite confident in my Japanese, it’s difficult to catch everything AND write it down AND allow myself time to enjoy it all at once.

What this is: My screaming about the best parts and trying to give a broad overview of what happens in this movie. There will be copious highlighting of shippy moments, and me being me, they’re 97% gonna be focusing on Haru and Rin, so strap in.

But before I get into all that, let’s get to what you really want to know: WHICH SHIPPERS ARE EATING WELL WITH THIS MOVIE?

First, it goes without saying, given my excitement, but: HARU AND RIN WIN THE MOVIE. They just do. This movie is 90% focused on Haru, Rin, and Ikuya, as they’re the characters whose futures are the focus of this entire movie. The movie is about them, and everyone else is set dressing (important set dressing in the case of Makoto and less so Sousuke, but 100% secondary characters at the end of the day).

That being said, there is something for everyone here, really. Any of the main ships? They’re snacking decently. You like SouHaru? You eat. You like MakoRin? Pull up a chair! You like HiyoIku? Dig in!

But the big winners after HaruRin in this movie are: MakoHaru (obviously! It’s not Free! without quiet close conversations between them lol except god y’all get gutpunched in a very important scene when instead of finishing giving advice to Haru, Makoto remembers he promised to play video games with the twins and leaves RIP), NatsuNao and SouMako (these get a joint highlight because Makoto and Nao are taking more formal places as Natsuya’s and Sousuke’s official-unofficial trainers--there’s a whole scene where Natsuya and Nao watch over Sousuke and Makoto and draw parallels between themselves, and Sousuke and Makoto are together as they watch Haru, Rin, and Ikuya compete together), and (a new challenger appears) IkuRin??? (was this really a thing before? idk but MAN does it get a huge boost to its credit in this movie, as they share multiple conversations together about their future and dreams, though with the caveat that those conversations are always about Haru and what he means to them really XD)

Now, with that out of the way...highlights from the movie!

The gist of the movie overall is that Haru, Rin, and Ikuya fly to Australia to compete in an international tournament. There, they face off against each other as well as Kinjou and Albert--the scenes from the tournament are largely about the 100-meter Freestyle event, with few scenes of other strokes and no mention at all of the relay.

Because of what happens at that event--who places where--decisions must be made, largely about Haru, Rin, and Ikuya’s futures (because they’re still in college; these boys aren’t professionals yet), and that causes a LOT of drama, because this is Free! XD

The movie opens very cutely with Haru’s friends recording videos about him, mostly about how they met him and what impact he’s had on their lives. Even Rin is dragged over by Iwatobi and asked to put in a few words too. Given that Makoto is still wearing his Iwatobi uniform, I’m guessing this is before they graduate.

Cut next to Haru with that old familiar mantra: “When you're ten, they call you a prodigy. When you're fifteen, they call you a genius. But once you hit twenty, you're just a normal person.”

Yup: Once you hit 20, you’re just a normal person. Nanase Haruka is on the cusp of his 20th year, and he can hear his time to reach his dream ticking down.

We get a brief flashback to baby Hiyori on the playground getting bullied by a baby Kinjou who wants to see him smile. He asks Hiyori what’s a memory that really makes him happy, and Hiyori mentions swimming. Kinjou rushes home, bright and excited, asking to go to a pool, but when he returns to the playground with swim gear in hand and a huge smile on his face, ready to invite Hiyori to go swimming, Hiyori is gone, and we learn that he moved away. Baby Kinjou is heartbroken.

In the present, Haru’s college is having a joint cultural festival with their rival school, and everyone’s come to help and/or check out the booths. Rin and Sousuke make their rounds, eventually coming upon Ikuya reluctantly selling sweets. They tease him about it and give him shit, and Ikuya whips out his phone that has a picture of Maid!Rin and says, "WELL MY BROTHER TOLD ME YOU DID THIS WHEN YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL SO YOU HAVE ZERO LEGS TO STAND ON MISTER," and after Rin recovers from his minor heart attack, he whips out his own phone with a picture of Ikuya on it, though we can't see it (it’s cut off), and uses it to embarrass Ikuya saying, "YEAH WELL I KNOW YOUR BROTHER MADE YOU WEAR THIS SO STUFF IT." I have to assume it's an embarrassing crossdressing episode of his own.

Kinjou drops by the festival too and crosses paths with Haru. Words are traded, and the gist is: they’re going to settle who’s better in Sydney, where Haru, Rin, and Ikuya are heading to compete in their next international tournament.

Yup, it’s that time again ladies and gents: HARURINRALIA 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO (THIS TIME WITH 100% MORE IKUYA). There’s very cute callbacks to S2′s Harurinralia episode, but the highlight is their arriving at the pool the boys visited in S2 and Ikuya seeing the pool himself for the first time. Haru comments that, “This is where I found my dream,” and Ikuya agrees he can understand why it’s important to him, then.

Back in Tokyo, Sousuke is in the midst of rehabilitation, with Makoto helping him train. Natsuya is training as well, and in a conversation with Nao, he remarks on how far Sousuke has come. Nao notes that it’s thanks to Makoto’s help, and that Nao and Makoto are both dedicated to helping Natsuya and Sousuke, respectively, get stronger. MAD DOUBLE-DATE VIBES HERE.

The day of the preliminaries in Sydney arrives, and Haru’s in the first heat. Ikuya and Rin watch from the sidelines and talk about Haru’s influence on the both of them, what his presence their means to them, and where they plan to go in the future.

Haru wins his heat handily, swimming one of his best times, but Rin and Ikuya both choke in their races and only come in 5th, not moving on to semi-finals. Haru is horrified watching Rin swim the way he does, and after Rin leaves the pool, he races off to find him but is unsuccessful.

Albert and Kinjou make it through their heats as well, and in the 100-meter Free semifinals, it’s Haru vs. Albert vs. Kinjou (and some randos). Haru trails the two at first, but he eventually finds his stride and manages to take (IIRC) second to Albert. He’s absolutely exhausted from the effort, though, shaken both physically and emotionally, and nearly falls down a flight of stairs before being caught by Ikuya. He rushes to find his coach, and immediately asks, panicked, how he can get better, how he can win.

Something fishy is up with Albert, though, and we see that he doesn’t have any passion at all for winning, only ‘doing his job’ with a cool detachment. After seeing the way Haru nearly caught him in the semi-finals, though, something clicks for him, and he...goes home. Albert skips the finals. I’m not entirely clear on what happens in the finals itself tbh -- Kinjou is asked how he feels about getting a ‘double medal’ (as in sharing a medal with someone), but Haru laments that he didn’t get a medal while Makoto reassures him he did place and that’s what matters. I’ll have to watch again to see if I can get a better gist, but if anyone has clarity on this point, I’m curious!

Haru, Rin, and Ikuya all leave the tournament with the singular goal of getting stronger, though, and go through their individual ways of making sure that happens. Ikuya decides to go to a training camp Natsuya invites him to, Rin wants a harder training regimen from his coach, and Haru?

Haru goes to talk to his coach, who tells him there’s only one way to get stronger: he has to be prepared to give something up. Haru refuses--everything he has, his friendships and bonds, are precious to him. He’ll become the best without losing anything.

Sousuke, Makoto, and Hiyori burn off the anxiety of watching their friends struggle in Sydney by having a backstroke race, with the losers being forced to do something embarrassing. We’re later treated to SouMako kitty-ear selfies together. This is a very important scene, so I have made sure to include it in my report.

As the year is winding down, all the Tokyo friends get together for an end-of-the-year party. Natsuya and Nao are the only ones of legal drinking age, and Natsuya gets absolutely plastered.

Rin and Haru sit together at the end of the table, and Rin begins pressing Haru about his future--what he’s decided to do after college. When Haru admits he’s still thinking over his options, Rin gets a bit irritated and leaves the party. Makoto rushes after them and they talk about Rin’s own plans; Sousuke moves over to where Rin was sitting and similarly chats up Haru, reminding Haru that he’s doing really well and should keep up the good work. We learn that RIn has made a decision--but not what that decision is yet.

Talk at the table turns to ages, and it’s remarked that they’re all going to be 20 soon. Here again, Haru hears the mantra in his head: “When you're ten, they call you a prodigy. When you're fifteen, they call you a genius. But once you hit twenty, you're just a normal person.”

He’s almost 20. Almost a normal person.

The boys return home for New Years, and while there, Ikuya has a talk with Natsuya. He’s made a decision as well.

Haru finds his way one evening to Iwatobi Elementary School, where the sakura tree still stands, including its little brick wall with painted words. I swim. Free. For the team.

The sound of crunching gravel calls his attention over: Rin is there too. They talk about their time in Sydney, and where they’re going from here. Haru's experience in Sydney confirmed for him that he wants to keep swimming with Rin.

There’s just one problem.

Rin’s made a decision himself, and it’s this: he’s not going to swim freestyle anymore. He wants to be a professional swimmer, and he knows that to get scouted, he has to swim his best. He has to focus on Butterfly, so that’s what he’s going to do. Ikuya has made the same decision and will only be swimming Breasstroke going forward. They’re both going to go pro--what about Haru? Rin wants him there, standing on the international stage with him, so will he join him?

...Haru’s been feeling strange since he swam with Albert. A cold, dark emotion is beginning to settle in him, a ruthlessness, swimming single-mindedly and without any love for the water. It’s infected him, and it manifests here in a cold, cruel accusation: “You’re just scared of Albert. How nice for you, since he doesn’t swim Butterfly. You won’t have to face him.”

Rin is taken aback, snarling, “You think I made this decision lightly?”

Haru: “Yeah, I do. Just like you make all your decisions.”

Haru watches himself have this exchange with Rin, as if a separate person, a soul watching someone else pilot his own body and say terrible, horrible things to someone he cares about.

Haru: “You always leave. You always disappear without a word.”

Rin rushes him, grabbing Haru’s jacket and shaking him, “I thought you’d get me now! I thought you’d understand! I was so happy I got to swim the relay with you!”

But he realizes Haru is gone, that this is it--and then releases him, turns his back, and walks away. Haru watches, horrified, from somewhere outside of time, and all he can see is Rin running away from him again, like before. Rin has left him yet again.

Still, though, he can’t wrestle control of his body back, and whatever cold emotion is driving him now takes a cellphone out of his pocket. It’s a cellphone his coach gave him that connects directly to his office.

Azuma picks up, and Haru only says: “I did it. I cut him away.”

Now Rin isn’t there holding Haru back anymore, just like his coach told Haru he would need to be prepared to do if he really wanted to be the best. He flashes back to Rin himself saying, “You think you’re the best there is in the water, right?” with that characteristic leer.

End Part 1.

#free!#free! the final stroke #harurin #harurinralia #HOW ABOUT THAT ANGST FEST????#OH GOD I ALREADY WANT TO GO BACK AND SEE IT AGAIN.

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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 3 years

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Detective au time except now I’m focusing on the Eggpire and things relating to it

-Bad has really been in the Eggpire for a while and thus, he has been blackmailed and threatened for a long time

-The Eggpire has ways of recruiting a lot of members quickly. The first is the high pay they give them (A majority of the Eggpire got into it because of that) The second is promise of safety (Bad and formerly Puffy got into it because of that). The third is usually blackmail but that’s only on people who have powerful roles in government or other departments.

-Hannah is someone who managed to slip away from the Eggpire and still manage to live. Puffy and Jack go to her for more info about it at one point. She’s also a mercenary and more than once she worked together with Punz

-Puffy is also someone who got out thanks to Sam. She’s eternally grateful for that

-Ponk, Bad, and Ant all acted like a found family even before Punz

-Eggpire has been going on for a long time and honestly the whole city’s department has been trying to take it down for years

-Sam does not like the Eggpire due to how it pretty much twisted his former friends into this. Now Bad is the leader and Ant is his right-hand man! Well at least they are on the surface

-City is called Snowchester because I am very bad at names and L’Manberg is already a country so yea

-Skeppy thought that Bad got himself out of the Eggpire after about 2 years of being there. He only found out about the real extent about it a few years after they took Sapnap in

-Billiam is rich and he’s corrupt and he’s working with the Eggpire. Mainly on the job of funding it. He’s also in the inner circle

-Bad, Ant, Ponk, and Punz would honestly love to punch Billiam in the face. Rich bastard pisses them off and their patience is running thin with him

-Butler (AKA Moon) is unfortunately someone who got into Billiam’s services due to the promise of a roof over their head. Course that happened and now he’s just the Butler for Billiam

-The Inbetween is just a code name. No one knows the Inbetween’s true name but they work closely with the Crimson and often passes info they obtain by Karl

-Info on the Eggpire is almost impossible to get. Dream and XD managed to get like about a page of information and that’s it. You got to be very deep into the Eggpire in order to go and get more. And considering that’s usually the part where people start sabotaging each other to get a higher rank

-Punz is good at what he does and actually that’s what got the Crimson’s attention. One-off jobs are completed fast and effectively whenever Punz has them and jobs that are for an extended period of time are done well. Reel him in with high money pay and then slowly get him deeper into it and now he permanently has to work for the Eggpire

-The Masquerade is not the first time Jack and Puffy met Billiam. It was just the first time they were actually treated with a semblance of respect from him

-Jack met him due to him negotiating with his landlord and then Billiam comes in all rich and posh and shit and immediately goes and insults Jack. Never before has he felt rage like that

-Puffy met him after there was an unfortunate… “accident” with Hubert, one of his former butlers. She had to keep telling herself that she can not punch a witness every time she talked to him

-On bright side, the Masquerade outfits are made by Tommy and Eret and they look fabulous

-The murders kind of dampened the mood but at least while solving crime, they looked fabulous when doing it

-The Masquerade honestly is just Jack, Dream, Karl, and Puffy just trying to restrain themselves from punching Billiam throughout the whole murder mystery. Eventually James punches him so that’s great

-First Version of the Potion was developed around the time Purpled was working for the Eggpire temporarily and was “officially” tested by the time Punz got Purpled to ditch

-So yeah, Bad, Ant, and Ponk had to watch the effects happen to Punz for a while before they were pretty much subjected to the final version

-Honestly when I think about the Crimson all I can think about is a red trench coat the size of his body that like covers almost everything and a weird ass fedora hat that just conceals the eyes. I don’t know why. I just thought of that.

-The Crimson was not expecting Jack Manifold to actually get close to the things their planning. At best they thought that he’s a guy who is smart but probably won’t get anywhere. Sure he went and got a big source for them arrested but that’s probably just a lucky shot, right?

-It kept happening and now Jack is actually getting close to things the Crimson doesn’t want him to do that so he went and sent some people to go and scare him a bit. It does not stop him. You can not stop him, he’s using the power of spite, anger, and the fact that it’s pretty much the longest running and best paying job he had. Even though it’s not exactly obtained through honesty

-Pretty soon he also noticed that oh, Puffy is also in on this and is determined. You can not stop her need to protect people and her need to make sure that Jack is not going to get injured

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badass-at-fandoming · 4 years

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Just Little Ventrue Things ~

I finished a Camarilla Ventrue run of VTMB. Mostly, the only thing Ventrue these days know how to do is Dominate, run screaming, eat hot chip, and lie, and [high falsetto voice] here’s a list of other nonsense I discovered:

PC’s name is Christina; she’s a Dominatrix because I’m bi. Her sire was one of her clients, and she’s actually very, very angry about his death. She doesn’t mind being a vampire. She’s Wiccan and part of a coven

In this Camarilla run, I decided I would only do quests given by Camarilla members. My justification was that, while Christina is intelligent and curious about lore, she focuses on tasks that immediately relate to her and her goals. She’s not curious about others; won’t go out of her way to talk to them. She’s not a bleeding heart, like my other PCs, and she believes in the Camarilla’s laws. She just hates LaCroix for killing her sire. Her plan during the game is to curry as much favor within the Cam as possible and cozy up to LaCroix so she can stab him.

Enough backstory

Nonsense time

Smiling Jack laughs at you if you don’t eat a rat in the tutorial. LOL. The Ventrue dialog is like “I could barely choke down the homeless man: please don’t make me eat a rat!”

The blood in the Santa Monica haven’s fridge is now blue blood. Does regular blood make Ventrue sick? I was too scared to experiment.

[spots Mercurio] I am going to steal that ghoul

Rosa: The people you’re looking for are up there. Christina, assuming Rosa is a Cam agent: Okay, thanks, bye

Never spoke to the Thin-Bloods again (sorry Lily baby ;-;)

Everyone except Julius still leaves when the PC reaches Hollywood

If you try to feed on Julius, he WILL kick you in the head and you WILL glitch into the fire, be on fire; run away screaming in Prada

You can skip the whole basement of the Ocean House Hotel if you manage to jump over the hole in the staircase???? Like?? You mean the spookiest fucking level has been optional this whole time I”M

[ghost appears] [Christina smacks it with an axe] None of that.

Club girls speak to Christina and I’m on the FLOOR

Therese “kills” Jeanette, even though I had enough oompa to make that not happen.

Therese joins the Camarilla and says she’s in good position to be the next Prince??? Hello??? Where is our Prince Voerman ending????

Went straight to LaCroix, called him “sir,” and he name-dropped Napoleon.

LaCroix tells Christina to go visit the Anarchs. She blows the Anarchs off (Nines made a growly face, Damsel dialog yowl-exited out after I asked if she wanted to join the Cam; Skelter threatened to murder me twice). When LaCroix told Christina that, while he admired her Cam loyalty, she must listen to her enemies to understand what they wanted, it felt like he was actually being a good sire and mentor.

That’s weird.

When Christina asked for his history, he very carefully explained his lineage, like the important part of Ventrue culture it is.

Overall, I found LaCroix-being-nice-to-me extremely unsettling.

Sir. Stop smiling at me, sir. Stop being impressed I don’t ask for money. STOP MAKING ME UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE YOU, SIR.

In contrast, LaCroix sounded genuinely betrayed at the end

Also made it more obvious when he started to lose track of his marbles

Ventrue PC seems juuuuuuust tall enough for her forehead to glitch into the ceiling of literally any confined space

The dirty Elizabeth Dane policeman didn’t psspspspsp at Christina so the whole ship was 15 white-knuckled minutes of making police dance and scuttling about

There is!!! A lot less!!! Talking in this game!!! Than I remember!!! She is only good at talking and ordering people around i am bEGGING

All EXP goes to Dominate and making Christina extremely charismatic and buff.

Ventrue himbo????

Beckett un-himbo-ifies her

She insults Beckett on their first meeting, spitting out “What do you want, wolfie?!” I thought this was appropriate because she died like, 4 times on that warehouse mission and was Extremely Stressed And Under Duress

Beckett’s response of “Oh, you’re too young to have mouthed off to the truly old ones yet.” makes his later snide remark of “the young ones are so temperamental” 900% funnier. Yeah, LaCroix! Beckett thinks I’ve grown and am now more mature than you! XD

Missions involving sex workers hit different when you’re a sex worker.

Christina was incandescent with rage at the Brotherhood

Grout’s mansion mission was a lot of “I have no interest in this nonsense.”

For the first time ever, I didn’t kill anyone during the Museum quest! This is because Christina ran very fast and Dominated every guard as quickly as possible. Every single fucking guard knew she was there, but could do nothing about it, because they were dancing. The door to the sarcophagus locked (it will do this if too many guards are agro), but locked doors are no match for noclip hack.

Entertaining image of a tall woman absolutely blasting into this museum room and Beckett tackling her to the floor like wait! I must snark at you! You are legally obligated to speak with me!

Isaac is still somehow a pretty chill guy to work with if you’re Camarilla.

Christina didn’t visit VV or Ash. Interestingly, Ash didn’t show up at the hunter monastery later. Did he just die in his club? Is he still there, waiting, deciding?

Christina @ Andrei: what the fuck is this shit

“I don’t care. It’s ugly. Clean it up.”

SEWERS.

Not as bad as I was expecting

Did take shortcut, run away from fights, ducked out in the middle for a snack, and bring 7 blue blood packs tho

Gary threatened to shred her face with a cheese grater, which I thought was Toreador only dialog?? It must be connected to the Appearance Stat. Which Christina has maxed out.

When Heather became Christina’s ghoul, I was delighted because I thought this meant Christina would always have fresh blood.

If you ask to feed on her too soon after the last time, Heather says she feels light headed and wants to lie down. The dialog exits out

I love you, Heather bb

Perfected the art of nudging NPCs into corners

Mitnick’s quests now feature Enforced Nap Time for all guards

Seriously, Dominate is ridiculously powerful, hooooly shit. I get why people like it. I also like it when people do things I ask them to do.

Christina can’t sneak, but she CAN strongly encourage everyone to choke on their own tongues.

Very high contrast in the beginning of the game: 2 punches would knock her over, but anyone she spoke to would obey immediately and without question

Chinatown goes by ridiculously fast if you can’t sneak and don’t do any sidequests besides Mitnick’s.

For the first time ever, Zhao survived! This is because Christina made him take a nap.

He just told her to leave

You’re welcome, my good dude

IDK if it’s a game glitch, but Christina would vocalize? In battle, she grunts with effort and pain.

Got to the point where I kept expecting Dominate dialog in every interaction and would get disappointed if it didn’t show up. What do you mean I have to actually convince people? That’s lame.

Christina was polite and charming to Ming Xiao, who also conveyed a deeper betrayal than normal at the end. ;-;

I promise to give you a Ventrue boy toy soon, Xiao

Finale arc quests went by VERY FAST because Christina can’t sneak for shit. Just run in, Dominate blazing

You can skip the outside bit of the Hallowbrook Hotel if you find the open door on the top level what the fuuuuuuuuuCK

[“A Little Party Never Killed Nobody” plays while Christina wipes out the Sabbat in 10 minutes]

Andrei disappeared mid-fight and didn’t come back until I complained that only I was allowed to run away from boss fights

I’m categorizing “triggering the interaction to save Heather” as something quite difficult to do. The timing has to be just right. I’ve missed it twice now. BUT hacking into the game to save her is easy.

I love you, Heather bb

Final Beckett talk had the vibe of “You’re a very different person than me, but you’re also High Humanity and trying to do good. You don’t deserve to die.”

Damsel threatens to kick the shit out of Christina and is extremely reluctant to tell her where Nines is

“Out of all people, they send you? All right, let’s just talk terms.” - Nines because Christina was short with him one (1) time

WEREWOLF HARD

You can just?? Walk out of your haven?? Without speaking to Jack at all???

I didn’t do that

But I could have

[”Dust in the Wind” plays while Christina kills entire Camarilla hit squad in 3 minutes]

You can visit Mercurio and Trip on your way out of Santa Monica??

Mercurio makes no comment on the blood hunt. Business as usual with him. This is fine.

Christina: I’m SO going to adopt that ghoul. And perhaps Isaac can be convinced to part with Romero...

(For the first time ever, my PC boinked Romero. Twice, to receive the break up email)

This is definitely a glitch, but Christina brushed up against Caine, and a worried voice said, “Are you all right?” It sounded like the same voice actor, but a higher pitch?

Always nice to think about Caine demonstrating care

Christina asked Caine who he is, and Caine replied that he “gets people where they’re going. [He’s] a driver,” which is a nice nod (lol) to both his literal job as a driver and as a shepherd/creator/god to Kindred. Caine creates and makes fate.

Caine triple checks with Christina that she’s sure Strauss won’t betray her. Thanks, Vampire Dad. :’D

For some reason, only other Ventrue guarded LaCroix’s tower. I wonder if this is intentional. Like all the other Camarilla Clans backed Strauss and left? So only LaCroix’s Ventrue lackeys remain? Anyway, it created some weird moments where Christina fought her double.

KILL YOUR DOUBLE

Sheriff laughed in haughty joy that he was to kill Christina. I don’t remember him laughing in other playthroughs.

Christina ruining Caine and Jack’s prank oh noes

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3laxx · 3 years

Text

Built to Last - Chapter 1

Amity hadn't dreamed to spend her summer like this. She had just graduated from a prestigious private school and had hoped she could escape to her own little adventure until her scholarship at the college starts, but instead, her parents decide to pimp up her résumé and make her a supervisor at their newest little project, a mansion in the middle of nature. She would rather be anywhere else, yet as she meets Luz Noceda, she finds construction work very interesting, all of a sudden. And that's totally not due to the fact that Luz is all her gay dreams coming true.

Heya people! I'm back with a new story!

One of my bigger projects at the moment and one of the reasons why I haven't been uploading for over a month xD I started working in my new job! Also got my first paycheck already! And I've been writing A LOT ever since the start of September! So yeah, this is kind of inspired by my work and I've written quite a bit for this already. It's basically just Luz being hot, Amity being gay, and a lot of mad blushes x)

Ao3 / FF.net

---

As Amity’s car came to a stop, she sighed, before pulling the handbrake and looking up to the mansion that was standing in front of her.

Or rather, the structural work she could see. While the shape of the mansion was already erected, with the base and all the walls out of sturdy concrete standing, there was still a lot to do.

Her parents had decided to build a giant new mansion in the middle of a huge land they had purchased, full of forest and beautiful scenery, and it was on her to oversee the construction.

It wasn’t that Amity had any idea how construction worked.

Her parents were on a business trip, like almost all her life long, and her siblings were in the middle of their studies, and focusing on this was of the utmost importance in the Blight household.

Amity was twenty now and had just graduated from an expensive private school her parents had sent her to, to enable a scholarship at a very renowned university.

So, essentially, her summer had been meant to be free and be spent by maybe relaxing for once, maybe even traveling a little, but since her mother detested holes in her résumé, she had to be kept busy somehow.

This meant that her position in overseeing the progress on their new mansion project was registered as “construction project management” and she was required to at least show up once a day and stay for a few hours.

She knew exactly what her parents' plan was.

They believed workers worked twice as fast and neatly when the customer was standing right behind them and monitoring their progress personally.

In short, her parents believed in intimidation.

It really wasn’t Amity’s style to be a fearmonger and do nothing more than to annoy the workers and create tension in their workspace. It was an issue of trust, that Amity had in the companies her parents had hired, but her parents didn’t and she couldn’t understand why.

After years of being monitored down to the littlest detail, she knew out of experience that someone breathing down her neck wasn’t something that helped along with productivity, quality, or speed.

But her parents had put her name on the project, it was all over everyone’s plans and she was an official member of the board overseeing this construction.

It wasn’t mandatory for her to show up to the site in her job description, nor was it mandatory for her to oversee any progress. But her parents had made sure to let her know what they expected of her before they had left. Amity hated that she was so intimidated by her parents to fulfill their wishes even if they weren’t here, even if she wasn’t sure if they were still on the same continent, but she was and so she had driven up here every single day and seen the mansion be built up completely in a matter of a month. Well, construction had already started when she had still been in school, so she hadn’t seen all of it.

Her parents had done that, of course.

Sighing, she got out of the car and headed up to the mansion, located on a little hill, towering above the giant property. It was a holiday getaway, her parents had insisted, even if she believed it was more to house some high-ranking guests, maybe some politicians her parents paid, to get in their good graces.

She mostly had that theory because she couldn’t remember the last time her parents had taken a genuine break from their work. Granted, sometimes they traveled to some holiday homes or some luxury hotels, but even these were sprinkled by meeting someone, having a friendly round of golf to discuss business and such things.

Her parents never acted without their business in the back of their heads.

Shaking her head, Amity freed her thoughts of her parents. She didn’t want to think of them. Coming in a few months she would move far away from them, actually near where they were building this mansion right now, and start her studies. And then she would only have to deal with them whenever they cooked up another business thing and roped Amity in, or at family holidays to keep the illusion of a happy family. She was just glad her siblings would be there with her.

Today, the interior design team would start.

The structural work was done, as far as it went, as were all the systems in place like heating, water, and gas.

Now, they had commissioned a fairly small local company building luxury interiors to do all the decorating in the entire house with floors, walls, ceilings, doing all the interior design of the sanitary rooms and kitchen, as well as all built-in furniture and whatever else Amity could think of.

It wasn’t that Amity knew what was necessary for the installation of everything, but she had self-taught quite a lot of theory through videos online due to a personal interest of hers and at least had an idea of what they were talking about.

Not that she let them in on that.

Whenever she had been there overseeing construction of the structural work, she had done her best to make herself appear as clueless as she could without sounding dumb, so they would be able to relax a little more.

If someone was looking over your shoulder who had no idea what you were doing anyway, it’d always feel more relaxed.

She hoped to at least relieve some of the intended intimidation meant by her parents.

Approaching the estate, she already saw some of her colleagues looking in her direction, some of the actual project managers, and a new site manager that she didn’t know yet. She had long black hair and a relatively tall statue, as well as a rigid posture. She was wearing a suit, too.

Did someone tell her Amity was coming?

If so, and she had decided to wear a suit just for her, that’d be embarrassing.

She appeared to acknowledge her arrival but turned back to another site engineer that Amity hadn’t had the pleasure of being introduced to yet. She looked very similar to the other one, only that her hair was really long, gray, and in a rather messy ponytail.

She also wore work pants and a simple shirt with the name of the company printed on the back and, smaller, on the chest. Amity immediately recognized the symbol on the woman’s chest as the one printed on the van next to them as well, which was a stylized owl, and read Clawthorne Sisters beneath it.

Amity had been excited for them to arrive. Now that the concrete was in place, all the drywall installations were finished and all the necessary cables and pipes were installed, the interesting part would begin. Making everything look like a home, instead of a palace of concrete and ugly pipes.

Or, well…

A house. Make it look like a house, instead of a skeleton. This mansion would never become home to anybody.

Finally arriving at the front door, Amity greeted all the project managers, engineers, and architects she already knew, who didn’t show up every day but had only come here to oversee the start of the interior design, before turning to the tall woman with a clipboard and strikingly green eyes.

“Good morning, my name is Amity Blight.”, she started and held out a hand to the woman, whose eyebrows shot up at the mention of her last name. Apparently, nobody had told her that she would be coming and Amity felt relief flooding her veins when she realized that this site manager had not dressed up for her.

“Lilith Clawthorne, it’s my pleasure.”, she greeted back and they shook hands, before she turned to the other, an equally tall woman next to her.

“This is Edalyn Clawthorne, site engineer and master mechanic of our company. You may direct any questions you have about plans, time management and schedules at me, and any technical questions at her.”, Amity nodded to that and shook the other woman’s hand as well. They seemed to be the sisters after which the company was named.

“Alright, good to know.”, she said but didn’t continue any further, so she just listened to the project managers talk for a while, before looking around and finding the master mechanic missing.

The site manager seemed to notice this.

“If you like, Miss Blight, we can head inside and oversee the progress since this morning.”

To that, Amity nodded, although a feeling of dread pooled in her stomach.

This meant producing the stress her parents wanted. They had explicitly instructed the project managers to inform their workers not to address them or interrupt their tour in any way.

In Amity’s experience, this had always resulted in tensions.

But Ms. Clawthorne was already heading inside and everyone else stepped back to let Amity in first, so she followed.

Just after the door, they each took a helmet from a prepared stand and put it on, since there would be overhead installation going on and the Clawthorne Sisters company had insisted on everyone, without exception, to wear a helmet. That had just made them all the more attractive to Amity, while she already held them in high regard judging from their portfolio and versatility in interior design and luxury decorations.

As expected, the conversations between some workers installing a floor in the entrance area quickly died out and they hunched over, focusing on their task ahead. They stopped as Ms. Clawthorne began explaining how these natural floorboards would be imported for them, ground and finished to feel natural yet soft, while Amity began looking around.

There were a lot of new faces around here since the Clawthorne Sisters had brought all their workers and replaced the construction crew almost completely, safe for a few left-over workers who cleaned up the last of their work and deconstructed some equipment they had used.

Amity mostly noted how young most of them were.

The entrance area was manned by two boys, maybe even younger than her, who were doing some of the easier tasks, managing wires to be hidden by the floorboards by tying them together and treating some sealed pipes. Down the hallway she saw a girl, around her age, managing some wires in the walls and making sure everything was neat and orderly for the wall decorations to be installed on top.

Taking a few steps away from the planning team, she peeked into the main lobby and saw three more people, two boys, and a girl, rearranging some supplies and equipment they had brought to be stashed in the wide space and not be in anyone’s way, looking just a bit older than her.

“Huh…”, she felt herself mumbling, before turning back and feeling all eyes on her as she returned to the group, immediately feeling a blush rising.

“Is everything to your expectations, Miss Blight?”, Ms. Clawthorne asked and she was quick to nod.

“Oh, yes, everything is alright!”, she was quick to assure, but the piercing eyes of the site manager quickly realized there was a question forming, so Amity seized the opportunity, “Just… I’ve seen a lot of workers my age. Do you usually employ younger workers?” To her surprise, Ms. Clawthorne smiled at that, something she hadn’t expected to see today when she had seen the slight scowl she always seemed to wear on her lips.

“We’ve had a few workers leaving the company for their retirement lately, and my sister and I strongly agree to encourage and support the younger generations to get an education in handicrafts. We have assembled a strong team of young employees and trainees for our company and they’ve proven to be very reliable, you can be assured.”

Amity nodded at that and quickly jumped in to reassure that her question wasn’t meant as a critique or concern.

“Oh, I wasn’t worrying! I think that’s very progressive.”, she quickly said and earned a nod from Ms. Clawthorne, giving her the feeling that she had just risen in her respect before the group continued walking through the mansion. Ms. Clawthorne pointed out a few things, explained some others, and they gradually lost more and more project managers and architects to discuss plans in more detail, until just Ms. Clawthorne and Amity were left to walk through the upper level, talking about some decoration elements that would be installed up here in the master bedroom, their conversation having turned rather relaxed and almost amicable after they left all the workers and other project planners behind and had some time to get to know each other better.

Until someone came stomping up the stairs rather loudly.

Ms. Clawthorne, Lilith, as she had assured her, immediately stiffened up and Amity turned to locate the commotion, seeing a tall girl her age come barreling up the stairs with some boards on her shoulder, a wide grin on her face with white teeth that shone against her dark skin in the contrast, as she jogged up the last few steps.

The girl turned, the boards swinging around, and suddenly, Amity saw the boards coming her way, right at the height of her face.

Seemingly just before impact, the girl gave the boards a nudge while Amity was already ducking her head, and a cheerful voice that sounded like it was laughing a lot in her life, sounded.

“Whoops! Duck!”, she exclaimed and the boards went right over Amity’s head, bonking her helmet, before she dared to look up again, watching the girl stopping right in front of her, still turned sideways not to have the boards that she was balancing on her shoulder trying to decapitate Amity again.

“Woah there, that was almost bad! You good?”, the girl chuckled, her not-so-scrawny shoulders shaking in delight, before giving Amity’s helmet a knock with her knuckles. Her ears were almost ringing from the knocking and she ducked her head again, only then did the girl let off, “That’s what the helmets are for!”

Amity managed a nod but the girl was already walking past her, whistling a happy tune, while waving her hand back at them.

“Sorry again!”, she called, before rounding the corner and apparently finding a coworker of hers with which she began talking, her voice carrying away the further she went.

The young Blight was embarrassed to admit that she had stared after her toned forearms and biceps, her slim calves, and her back long after she had vanished behind a wall.

Slowly, Amity could relax her shoulders again and straightened back up, adjusting her helmet, and turning back to Ms. Clawthorne. To claim she was furious was probably an understatement.

Her entire face with a rather fair skin tone was flaming while she looked after where the girl had gone and she was shaking in anger.

Turning away from Amity, probably to shield her from her voice, she yelled after the girl, raising her fist.

“LUZ NOCEDA, COME BACK HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!”, she yelled and Amity couldn’t deny she had flinched before the melodic voice with the slightest Spanish accent called back.

“Just a moment, Lily! Be right there!”, she faintly called, but Amity couldn’t focus. All she could think about was her name that she had just learned, and she swore she wouldn’t forget it.

Luz Noceda.

“You wanted to talk to me?”, the girl, Luz, grinned as she came back, this time without boards, and propped her hands upon her waist. Only now, Amity could get a proper look at her.

She felt her heart speeding up when she took in her whole appearance. Luz was wearing worn-out safety shoes, some loose-fitting shorts, and a dark pullover with the company’s logo printed on her chest with the sleeves pushed up to her elbows, as well as a toolbelt and a helmet on her brown, sweaty, and very messy hair.

Her face was cute and looked like she was a lot of fun to be around, her brown eyes sparkling with joy about something she had just experienced, maybe a joke with a coworker, judging from the volume at which she had been laughing downstairs and down the hall.

Well, Amity had known she was gay, but that gay?

Gulping, she took in the girl in front of her that was about half a head taller than her, then she flinched at Ms. Clawthorne’s voice winning in volume again.

“Luz Noceda! First of all, workplace safety! You know exactly to check your way when carrying big loads. And second of all, you apologize immediately! Do you know who-”

Luz seemingly shrunk more and more with each word her boss was yelling at her, and since she couldn’t bear watching that bubbliness being suppressed like this, Amity acted unthinkingly and cut into her tirade, holding out her hand.

“I’m Amity. Pleasure to meet you.”, she quickly exclaimed, a little louder than planned to interrupt Ms. Clawthorne, but her speaking up had an immediate effect.

The older woman next to her gulped the rest of her sentence and switched her gaze from Luz down to Amity, staring silently.

In contrary to her boss, Luz was apparently delighted. Immediately, her shoulders straightened again and she took Amity’s hand after taking off her glove, grinning.

“Luz. Sorry for slamming the boards on your head, I’ll take better care next time. You the architect’s intern or something?”, she replied while shaking Amity’s hand and she giggled, shaking her head, paying Ms. Clawthorne no mind while she started getting angry again, ready to make Luz three heads shorter.

“No, I’m-… Doesn’t matter.”, she laughed, waving it off, “A-And, uh, don’t worry about the boards, that’s why we wear helmets.”

Luz gave her the finger guns and clicked with her tongue, before pulling on her glove again.

“Alright then, have a lot of fun planning or whatever you guys do, I’ll do more interesting stuff.”

She winked and Amity could’ve sworn she was flirting with her. Which completely distracted her from the fact that Ms. Clawthorne’s eyelid was already twitching in uncontrolled rage.

While Luz sauntered off, Amity caught the attention of her boss again, eager not to let her be too mad at her employee. Trying a careful approach to change the topic, she softly clapped her hands together, winning back Ms. Clawthorne’s attention.

“So… I believe we haven’t talked about the bathrooms yet, am I correct?”, she inquired and Ms. Clawthorne immediately switched back to her polite way, nodding stiffly.

“Yes, Miss Blight, right this way.”, she offered Amity to walk ahead and led her down the same hallway Luz had gone, and she couldn’t stop herself from peeking inside the room Luz and a coworker of hers were preparing to work on, catching a glimpse of Luz’s toned calves flexing when she stood on her tiptoes to mark something on the wall.

Unfortunately, the door went by quickly and she couldn’t see much more of her when she had already walked past, before having to turn back to the topics her parents wanted her to discuss. Which was a lot drier planning and listening and trying to visualize complicated construction plans.

It really wasn’t that Amity wasn’t interested in learning all of this. She loved hearing about construction projects and planning where to put elements to create a harmonizing room.

But now that she had seen Luz?

Well, it wasn’t that Amity was overly starved of seeing attractive people. There were a lot of attractive people in her close environment, some of her friends for example and she couldn’t deny that most of her family’s acquaintances were fairly good-looking as well.

But something about Luz had fascinated her.

The way she moved, the way she was covered in dust and sweat and had still smelled kind of good. The way her eyes were sparkling and how she was so comfortable in her own skin, walking through her life as if she was exactly in the place where she wanted to be.

Amity was fascinated by the honest and self-assured way she was moving, behaving, and acting.

And, well, there was the fact that Luz was just ridiculously attractive to her.

She sure as hell wouldn’t forget the way her white teeth shone against her dark skin and how her muscles moved and-

“I’m afraid I must ask you to excuse me, Miss Blight.”, a firm voice suddenly interrupted her thinking and she looked up from the plan Ms. Clawthorne had spread on a nearby table, only then hearing the ringing of a phone. Mutely nodding, Amity took a step back to grant her some privacy and tried to look back at the plan, making some sense of what she saw. It was some kind of cover for the bathtub, she believed. Or was it for the sinks?

Internally groaning, she shook her head to herself. If she hadn’t spent dreaming about Luz the entire time she would have an idea of what Ms. Clawthorne had been explaining to her and she’d be able to work out what the plan was about.

But, as luck would have it, she got off her phone and turned to her with an apologetic face.

“I’m very sorry, Miss Blight, but I’ll have to cut our tour short here. Some of my workers have started laser measuring the walls downstairs and I’m afraid I have to join them and the architect to work out the plans for that. Do you need me to bring you back to the front door?”

Her chance!

Quickly, Amity shook her head and smiled.

“Oh, no thanks! I will look around a bit more and get back to you before I leave, thank you.”, she excused the woman and without missing a beat, the site manager nodded and left her to her own devices.

It wasn’t that Amity had wanted her to go, but now she could maybe sneak a peek at the attractive worker, Luz, again…?

Tempted to slap herself, she furrowed her eyebrows.

Spying on workers?

How shameful. She shouldn’t do that.

Humming, Amity turned to wander out of the bathroom-to-be and down the hallway again, hearing voices getting louder the closer she drew to the room where she had seen Luz starting her work. But instead of spotting the ridiculously attractive girl, she was met by her rather sturdy coworker with slightly chubby cheeks, a kind face, and dark hair, along with the dark-skinned boy she had seen in the entrance hall already. They both talked quieter when they noticed her wandering past and Amity picked up her pace to be out of their hair as quickly as possible again.

She wondered where Luz had gone.

Maybe she had gone downstairs again to get more boards?

Amity decided that checking it out wouldn’t hurt, so she walked downstairs, past some more surprisingly young workers and some of the management board nodding to her politely, before stepping out of the entrance area again into the fresh air and breathing through.

Behind her, the work was picking up and she began hearing a drill hammering into some concrete, as well as a saw somewhere around the mansion, but she didn’t think much of it, the air was feeling way too nice after walking through the dusty construction site.

Wait a minute…

She had seen Luz carrying up boards from below. Maybe she had cut them to length?

More out of curiosity than anything, Amity stepped off the porch and rounded the mansion, peeking around a corner, only to spot the very same girl she had found herself losing her concentration to upstairs, standing by some trestle legs on which she had placed boards, cutting them with a circular saw. She looked very concentrated and was wearing some ear protection now, as well as some glasses to protect herself from the saw dust.

Amity clenched her hand around the corner of the house when she felt her heart speeding up, licking her lips when she saw how Luz was leaning forward a bit more, the muscles on her elbow coming out.

She wasn’t overly muscular or anything, and Amity didn’t like bodybuilder types anyway, but it showed that Luz had worked in this field for quite some time already, and with being on constructions like this one, she probably got all the workout she needed just by working.

Humming, Amity finally decided to stop being a creep and pretend to be on her phone like a normal human, pulling it out to pretend and tap on it a little while walking out from the corner.

She did her best to appear busy on her phone, but Luz didn’t even acknowledge her.

Better for her, because she could keep staring.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Amity could see the saw dust covering Luz’s forearms, giving them a slight sheet of dust, and she wished she could be closer to watch her cutting those boards in more detail.

But this was getting really creepy. She should stop.

Shaking her head, Amity groaned and looked up to the sky, before shooting Luz one last glance and walking back to the entrance area, putting her phone away.

Maybe she could talk to her someday. Or just listen to her again.

Grumbling to herself, Amity did one last tour of the whole house, waiting and hoping for her confidence to build up again to talk to the cute girl, but when she had walked past Ms. Clawthorne a second time, she supposed she had to wave that wish goodbye.

Bidding her goodbyes to all the members of the project management board, she walked back to her car and sat in the driver’s seat, defeated.

Now she had had the chance to have normal conversations here, the entire mansion was full of young workers instead of moody old men, and she had blown it. She could only hope Luz would be there tomorrow.

Sending a last, longing gaze to the now-abandoned saw sitting on the trestle legs, she started her car and put it in reverse.

Either this had been it or she would have another chance tomorrow.

For now, this was enough for her. But this evening she would deeply regret leaving without having tried anything because when she lied down to sleep, the pictures of an unfairly attractive girl working at the site wouldn’t leave her mind alone.

---

“LUZ NOCEDA!”, a voice yelled from downstairs just before the evening and the young woman currently handling the last of the wires listened up.

“Oh, that sounded like Lilith.”, she noted and Willow snorted.

“Ya think?”, she asked and Luz grumbled when she got up, shooting Willow a look.

“I don’t need your sass right now, Willow.”, she shot back at her friend who just snickered, shaking her head before going back to drilling holes into the boards for tomorrow.

“COME DOWN HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!”, made both of them flinch, causing Luz to duck her head.

“You better go, she sounds seriously angry.”, Willow shooed Luz with a handwave, putting her drill into position again.

Luz quickly made her way out of the room and down the hallway towards the stairs, where she already saw Lilith standing at the base of them.

Gulping, she made her way down and Lilith glared at her, making her grimace.

“Uh, yes?”, she sheepishly responded, already scared of what she had done wrong when Lilith turned and waved her to follow. Oh, this was bad.

If she didn’t want to scold her in front of everyone, she was going to get the harshest yelling she had ever gotten. Lilith led her outside, before turning back to the young woman and holding out her finger, her face uncharacteristically red.

“Do you have any idea what you did today?!”, she hissed and Luz pulled up her shoulders, eyes wide.

“Did-… Did I, uh, what did I do?”, she carefully asked, but that only seemed to explode Lilith’s rage.

“You embarrassed us IN FRONT OF OUR CUSTOMER!!”, she finally yelled and Luz could already feel all eyes on her while her coworkers gathered on the windows to watch where the yelling had come from.

“O-Our customer?”, Luz ducked her head more when Lilith got redder.

“YOU SLAMMED BOARDS ON HER HEAD, YOU IDIOT!!”, she screamed and Luz’s heart dropped into her pants. So that fancy-dressed had been because she had been the customer.

Oh.

Oooooh.

She had… She had bonked boards on her head and then knocked on her helmet. On their… On their million-dollar assignment customer.

Gulping, Luz sunk into herself more. She had absolutely blown their assignment, hadn’t she? She had just lost the company a couple Million dollars, she had gotten all of her coworkers fired, she’d pay compensation for the rest of her life, she would-

“You’re lucky she wasn’t hurt!! This could’ve gone very differently! I don’t know what kind of guardian angel you blackmailed to look over you, but if this had been Odalia Blight you would’ve been dead and the company along with you!!”, Lilith got closer to her and her screaming suddenly dropped to a very dangerous whisper, “If this hadn’t been the daughter of our customer, I would’ve killed you on the spot. You’re lucky she’s a lot nicer than her mother.”

Gulping, Luz leaned back a little.

“I-I’m not fired…?”, she tried and Lilith finally found back to her normally pale skin color, adjusting her suit.

“Your mother and my sister would have my head if I fired you. Also, Miss Blight was very forgiving and didn’t cancel our assignment, yet. We’re allowed to continue working for now. Until that’s not clear, though, you better not step too far away from the hanging tree, because I will personally put the hangman’s noose around your neck if the Blights terminate that job. Is that understood?”, Lilith got dangerously close again and Luz gulped, rubbing her neck.

“Very graphically understood.”, she mumbled and Lilith glared at her one more time, before straightening back up and walking back to the construction site.

“If you speak to her again, it will be an absolute emergency and you will do so politely and with some respect and dignity. And now clear up your things, we’ll leave at five sharp and if you’re late you’ll sleep here.”

Grumbling, Luz patted her chest to attempt and soothe her beating heart, before running a hand through her dusty hair and shaking it out. This had been shorter than she had anticipated.

Once again rubbing over her neck, she then followed Lilith inside and sighed. She was looking forward to the days where the jobs would be mundane enough for Lilith to stay in the office and let Eda handle the coordination. Having Eda as her superior instead of Lilith was absolutely preferable.

Well, if she was lucky, she would have to focus on work so much she wouldn’t even have time to acknowledge Miss Blight anymore. Maybe she also wouldn’t come back tomorrow, after all, the rich and wealthy had other things to worry about, right?

Especially their customers, who were paying for this giant mansion.

Humming, she entered the building again and ignored all her coworkers looking at her, before starting to pack up the tools she had used and collecting her personal stuff, like her gloves and jacket.

Willow shot her a sympathetic glance and Luz clapped on her shoulder to reassure her that she was okay for now, then they all gathered around their bus to be taken back to the company so they could end the day.

The whole evening, though, Luz fretted going to work the next day, fearing the possible encounter with the Blight girl. Hopefully, she wouldn’t show up so Luz wouldn’t risk her head, her financial stability, and her dignity for all eternity.

---

Let me know what you think! <3

9 notes · View notes

ufuckingpastry · 3 years

Text

What Remained in Pandora’s Box

AO3 Link

Disclaimer: This fic is based on the roleplay characters, not the content creators. None of the views or opinions explored in the fic reflect the content creators.

Chapter 1: Godkiller

Dream spat blood onto the obsidian, his shoulders heaving as he tried to breathe through the pain. Quackity watched him, perched on top of the cauldron. He idly wiped at the edge of the glimmering axe. The scar over his eye stretched grotesquely as he grinned. Dream wanted to rip that grin off his face and wished he had the claws to do so. His nails were dulled and bloody from scrabbling at the obsidian, sometimes to feel something, sometimes to escape the honed edge of Quackity’s blade.

“You know,” Quackity’s came through clear, bouncing against the obsidian and deafening in his ears. He lifted his gaze to glare daggers at him, hoping beyond hope they could slice more scars into his face. “I’m getting tired of this game, Dream. The stakes aren’t high enough anymore. The deals feel lackluster at best. And you.” The man glared, frowned his barely contained rage at him. He huffed out a breath and regained his grinning composure. “You’re better at this game than I expected.”

“I’m not giving you the book, Quackity. None of your deals are worth my time. Come back when you have something that I actually want.” Instead of spitting at him or shouting more curses, Quackity’s gaze flickered to the side and. He considered the floor below him.

“Something you… want?” he asked, careful, soft. Dream braced for whatever torture he held in his hands next. The soft voice always, always meant pain. It always meant the worst of what Quackity had to offer. Whatever he was planning, whatever he would do next, Dream hoped he would survive it (or hoped this time the end would come quick). “I’ve been thinking about that, Dream. What else I can do to you. What next torture Sam would let me bring in.” He laughed, gruesome and grinning. “You’ve nearly exhausted me, Dream! I have plans all over my walls of what I was going to do!” Quackity jumped off the cauldron and stepped forward.

“Every single plan I made for you, we’ve done! Every single thing I wanted to do to you, all but one—which Sam doesn’t have the backbone for. And Sam, poor Sam. Unable to stop another person from dying in this cell. I think he almost regrets it. Regrets letting anyone else get close to you.” His voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned forward, the edge of the axe a gentle threat to Dream’s throat. “I even think he regrets letting me in now. This has been going on for too long, Dream. Something’s gotta give.”

“If you think it’s going to be me, guess again,” Dream snarled.

“I’ll make one more deal with you, Dream. And I know this is something you want. Something you want so desperately.” Dream waited. He waited for what Quackity had in store. He waited to know what deal Quackity was going to offer now. The only thing he wanted, wanted most in the world, was—

“Give me the book and I’ll let you go.”

Dream felt the floor drop out from under him, his breath gone out of him in a gasp. Quackity was no longer grinning. He watched. He waited.

“Sam wouldn’t let you,” Dream said in return.

“Sam? Sam’s losing himself more each passing day. First, he loses Tommy in this cell. Then poor old Ghostbur. And now, he’s losing himself. You should see the way he walks the halls. Did you know he took Ponk’s arm? And I know for a fact he regrets it every single hour. All that regret can’t be good for him. And, you know, I care for the guy. I care about him. I don’t want to see him in pain.”

“And yet you’re fine torturing me every day?”

“Dream, the thing about that is: I don’t care about you. I don’t give a damn if anyone on this server does. I don’t. I don’t give a shit. So, yeah. I’m gonna keep coming in here every single damn day, until you give me what I do care about. I care about the book. And Sam? Don’t worry about him. If it puts his mind at rest, I can convince him to do anything I want.”

Dream eyed Quackity, his chest heaving. His breath felt like knives ripping through his lungs. His hands shook uncontrollable. There was nothing he could do to still them and nothing he could do to stop Quackity from coming back over and over again. Except…

“You promise?” he asked softly, a faint glimmer of hope blooming in his chest. Quackity hummed, waiting for him to continue. “You promise that if I give you the book, you’ll let me out? That Sam will let me out?”

“Yeah. I’m only here for the book, Dream. And if letting you go is what gets me it, then I’ll do what I can.”

“The others won’t like that I’ve been set free.”

“Well,” Quackity said with a shrug of his shoulders. “That sounds like a you problem.” Dream hunched his shoulders. Of course, his promise would only extend to getting him out of the prison. Not anything further. Where could he go, though? He chewed his already raw lips, tonguing the scarred flesh. Maybe Techno would let him stay. He could tease him about being homeless again.

“So?” Quackity asked. “Deal?”

Dream’s gaze flicked up at him, studying his face. If… if he did this, there would be no turning back. There was also the possibility Quackity was tricking him. And if he lost the one thing keeping him alive, the one thing the rest of the server saved him for… for what reason would he have to keep existing? Unless… No, Quackity was smart. He’d see through a fake book. Assuming he had seen the original. He had, didn’t he? Otherwise, why would he know of it? Schlatt must’ve let him take a look at it once. Not enough to remember much, probably. Schlatt wouldn’t have let him study it.

Right?

Was that a risk he was willing to bet his life on?

Dream pressed his lips together, the pain grounding him. Did he even have a choice at this point? He breathed out, the warm air ghosting over his lips. Fine. One last time.

“Deal.”

Quackity’s eyes lit up, surprised, but that was quickly smothered with him leaning forward to grin. “I’m listening, Dream.” Dream held up a hand and closed his eyes, breathing in. He went into his head, deep into his head. It was not an image of him that appeared, not a personification of his thoughts as he searched his memory. No, it was him. In the flesh. Dream reached into his memory and pulled free the book. It looked normal, nothing revealing the secrets hidden within. Just like a normal book, if a bit tattered and worn. Dream reached in again and pulled out an image of the book, made it real with the powers XD lent him all those years ago. Then, he took the knowledge from the revival book and transferred it to the copy. But before the words settled into the pages, he adjusted a few steps. Not enough that it was noticeable, not enough that Quackity could sense something was wrong. Just… enough that any revival wouldn’t work. Not without… well. No one needed to know that part. He pushed the original back into his memory, then used a little more admin power to make the copy real.

Dream breathed out and opened his eyes. The process only lasted the amount of time it took for him to breathe, and then the revival book was in his hands. He lifted his gaze to Quackity, who was staring at him. His mouth parted, his attention focused solely on the book. His hands twitched like he wanted to snatch it out of Dream’s hands, but he held them back. Dream offered him the copy, his face blank as the mask sitting broken on the floor beside him, none of his deception present on his face.

“I’m just,” Quackity started as he snatched the offered book away. “Going to check it’s real, you know? Make sure you aren’t going to trick me.”

“Of course.”

Quackity flipped through the pages, his eyes skimming through the instructions. He snapped the book closed with a relieved sigh.

“So,” Dream said. “As you promised?”

Quackity tucked the book away in his inventory, then turned to Dream. His face was blank, like he was staring at a particularly boring wall, at maybe the slightest imperfection. He stood to his feet, still silent, and tilted his head. Then, faster than Dream’s tired eyes could follow, Quackity swung the axe down. Dream felt the blade slice through his flesh and the sound of the edge hitting and shattering his collarbone echoed against the obsidian walls. The sound echoed in his ears as Dream fell over, his utter surprise permanently slapped on his face.

And the world faded to black.

“Let’s go!”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at….”

Eyes flickered open. He stared up into the darkness, breathing out slowly. He couldn’t even see the ceiling; it was so far up. The floor was cold under his back. At least, he assumed it was cold. He really couldn’t feel anything, not even the warmth inside his chest. He decided, maybe, it would be best if he got off the floor and sat up. Maybe see where he was?

When he sat up, burning pain flared in the crook of his neck. He gasped and slapped a hand over his wound and—

There was no blood. He could feel the pain, yes, the burning, yes, even the slice in his flesh, but…

There was no blood. He stood up, feeling over himself, when something caught his eye. He held out his arms, gazed at them with a growing frown. He could see the floor beneath him, the bedrock scattered amongst the blackstone. He could see the floor through his arms. That, that wasn’t normal, right? He touched himself, touched his arms, touched the faded color of his sweater. His hands didn’t pass through him. He stomped the ground and, no, he didn’t phase through it. He was solid, just… transparent. Why? How?

And where was he?

He turned, seeing a hallway to his right. Curious, he stepped forward, stepped into it. His footsteps echoed against the blackstone as he made his way to the end. There was a pen, but no animals left in it. There were signs and item frames on the walls, but nothing sat in them to show them off. It was empty, devoid of life and warmth. He didn’t know what any of this was, nor why he was here. He didn’t remember anything from before he woke up here. He didn’t even remember his name, if he had one.

A chirp echoed from behind him. He spun on his heel and froze when he saw the enderman. He dropped his gaze immediately, somehow instinctually knowing not to look them in the eyes. But… something tugged in his memory. He glanced up again, tried to keep his eyes shifted just to the right of the—

The enderman chirped again, tilting its head. It had its eyes covered with a bandage. It also… didn’t look like any enderman he had seen before, not that he remembered seeing many, or any… Its face was split down the middle, black on one side and white on the other. Its hair and hands were split much the same way, and he saw a tail waving behind it, also split in color. He stepped closer to it, carefully and hesitant. Its head moved with his steps, tracking his movements. When he stopped in front of it, he reached up to touch the bandages, needing to stand on his tip toes to even hope to reach. A black hand rested on his wrist, the claws held away. The enderman vwooped, the sound a refusal if he ever heard one.

“Why are you wearing that?” he asked, curiosity winning out over self-preservation. But the enderman only chirped back. He wished he understood what it was saying. He dropped back on his heels, sad that the first thing he found in this place was someone he couldn’t even understand. The enderman touched his hand and then pointed at the portal. He glanced between the portal and the enderman, not understanding.

“Do you want me to go through? Isn’t that dangerous?” He said, gesturing at himself. He had no armor, no weapons, no tools. The enderman gave him a gentle smile and a glimmering netherite axe appeared in its hand. He jumped back immediately, the wound on his shoulder flaring in pain. “Don’t, please! Don’t hurt me!”

The axe vanished and the enderman immediately went to him, softly chirring and offering comforting pats. He calmed slowly, chewing nervously on his lip. It rubbed at his cheek where tears had formed and, for the first time, he noticed the tear burns on the enderman’s own face. It made something in him warm, a sort of kinship with the enderman. He didn’t know why, but when the enderman offered its hand, he took it. They walked through the nether portal together. He couldn’t feel the heat of the nether, but some part of his brain knew it existed and what it used to feel like. The enderman seemed okay with it. Now that they weren’t in the suffocating dark, he noticed the enderman’s outfit was that of a suit. That was strange, that it wore clothes. But endermen weren’t half white and black either. He just accepted that this was his life now, to not understand things even when they didn’t seem right.

The trip was uneventful, except for the ghast who nearly shot him off the single block wide path. The enderman was handy with its axe, though it seemed to try to warn him before pulling it out. He appreciated it, though he wished he could express his gratitude to it. He also… really did not understand how it saw through the blindfold, but he was comforted to know whatever threats came for them, he was protected and watched over. He almost felt his face break into a smile, but that fell when they came to another portal. The path turned to obsidian and he felt fear and anxiety creep into him at the sight of the blocks. The enderman chirred and held out its hand. He dragged his gaze from the path to the hand and took it. He closed his eyes for good measure and the enderman led him through the portal.

Even though he couldn’t feel the change in temperature, the change from the burning nether to the snow-covered land faintly glowing under the moonlight startled him enough that his breath felt like he had. The air burned in his lungs, but the enderman pulled him forward. It did not release his hand, except to defend him against the mobs that spawned in the night. But once they were slain, the enderman’s hand wrapped tight around his again and he was led further on.

Eventually, he saw smoke rising in the distance. Then they crested a hill and he saw a small complex. Two houses, plus another covered building that looked warm and inviting. Plus, at least twenty dogs relaxing in the snow. They lifted their heads at their approach, barking happily at the enderman. It patted some of their heads as they passed through. He wanted to pat them too and he wondered if he could feel their fur, but the enderman led him up the stairs. He startled at the polar bear tied to one of the buildings, but it ignored him for the most part. The enderman lifted its face to the house, vwooped negatively, then led him across the bridge to the other house. It rapped its knuckles on the door and waited. He waited patiently too, curious as to where they were and why. It knocked again, louder this time, and he heard sounds from above as someone groaned and presumably climbed out of bed.

“Techno, I swear to god if that’s you…!” a voice called out and he jumped back from the door. It sounded angry and he didn’t want anyone’s anger directed at him. Especially not after such a nice trip with the nice enderman! Speaking of the enderman, he glanced at it, hoping it would protect him. More sounds came from inside the house and the enderman… froze. Then shook its head.

“What…? Why is this?” it said. He stared openly as its mouth opened and closed. The mismatched hands came up and undid the bandage and he dropped his gaze away from the enderman’s eyes, but not before he caught sight of what those looked like. Red and green… Mismatched like its body. He heard the enderman turn, then yelp in surprise. He lifted his gaze, just to its shoulder so he wouldn’t make eye contact.

“Um,” he started, but the enderman (hybrid???) started speaking to the door.

“Hey, uh, Phil?” it, no probably, he? The enderman called.

“Ranboo? Why are you here, it’s 3am!” The door cracked open, but it seemed to still hide him from Phil’s (???) gaze. Ranboo quickly looked at the door, a worried expression appearing on his face.

“So, uh. We have a little bit of a problem.”

“What kind of problem? Wil, go back to sleep!” Phil shouted back into the house. There were more sounds from within, of another person descending a later. Probably the Wil-person? The door opened further and he got to watch the man who must be Phil look from Ranboo to him, his mouth parting in what he hoped was surprise and not… something worse. “Wha—?”

“Well…” Beside him, Ranboo threw out his arms in his direction and he lifted a hand in a wave. “We’ve got Gream now!”

#dream smp #dream smp fic #dream #philza #ranboo #wilbur #ghost dream au #mystuff

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im-the-punk-who · 4 years

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@rnmmarchformeta Day 1: Tonight’s theme is: Themes

Malex and Music: Tracing a relationship through music used in the show - Part 1

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Given that both Michael and Alex have a personal connection to music, I wanted to go over some of the intricacies of what the music choices and lyrics/stories behind the songs used might tell us about Malex. The music choices in Roswell New Mexico are deliberate and often incredibly pointed. Particularly in the case of Michael and Alex there are elements of their relationship that are not so much underlined as written about only in the lyrical choices that play under their scenes. This choice for me made rewatching the series a lot of fun because as I discovered the lyrics to some of the more obscure song choices I kept discovering new intricacies and motivations for each of their decisions. Below the cut for length.

(Author’s note circa 2007: (rawr xD) I’m focusing specifically on the parts of these songs that play over or in direct correlation to scenes where Michael and Alex are both present. I would love to explore this theme in the wider context of the whole show and how their interactions with other characters might change some of these but...this is already like 6k and that’s just how the peas and carrots cooked. That said I will be referencing other characters and relationships as relevant, particularly, I will be talking at some length about Milexa and the airstream scenes in 2x06. I personally have a favorable reading of the scenes and what they mean for Michael and Alex. I also talk briefly about Milexa in a few other spots - they’ve been marked as ‘Milexa’ or ‘Miluca’ if you wish to skip them, although I don’t know if this will make sense as a whole without them. But, should you wish. Proceed accordingly. <3)

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Posted on AO3 here.

Sedona - Houndstooth (1x01)

The first song we hear in relation to Malex is ‘Sedona’ by Houndstooth. The song plays during the reunion as we see Alex confront Michael about the chemicals found around his airstream. The verse that plays underneath the scene references how, due to its scenic beauty, the town of Sedona was once a highly sought after filming location but had fallen into obscurity when cowboy movies went out of style in the late 70′s.

Similarly, Alex tells Michael that he is ‘wasting his life.’

“Does the macho cowboy swagger thing ever get old for you?”

“Did it get old for you?”

For me, this scene is as much an introduction to the past between these two as their present. Gone but not forgotten, their interactions are a ‘script’ that the two of them play off of. In other words, Michael and Alex don’t so much interact as play off of what the other expects from the other. This becomes especially clear when in 2x05 we learn that Alex has at least once before warned Michael about ‘wasting his life.’

When The Truth Hunts You Down - Sam Tinnesz (1x01)

The next scene is this one, in which we see Alex contemplating an old picture of himself. We then see Michael watching him.

Later, the last line is overlaid with Jesse telling Kyle about the existence of aliens.

The truth about Michael’s alienness is quiet literally hunting them, but so is something about Alex’s past. As we get to know him, we learn just how much his father is interconnected with all of the worst moments in his life and everrything he has buried and tried to run from in order to avoid it. Michael, Roswell itself - Alex ran halfway across the world to try to run away from the trauma of his youth, and yet here he is.

“Nostalgia’s a bitch, huh?”

“You know I thought when I got back from Iraq you would be long gone.”

“Is that what you want?”

“We’re not kids anymore. What I want doesn't matter.”

We also find out something of the nature of his and Michael’s relationship and that there are clearly still feelings between them - no matter how much Alex is trying to deny it.

Give Me The Night - Des Rocs (1x02)

This is one of my personal faves from the Malex soundtracks. It just *slaps* okay?

Aside from the obvious nod to Michael’s alienness, this song underscores the divide still between Michael and Alex despite the passionate kiss they shared at the reunion. Michael is initially flirtatious and full of swagger - until Alex shuts him down.

The fallacy of Alex’s rebuke and his dismissal of the feelings behind the kiss are underscored by his refusal to even look Michael in the eye as they talk. Even if he tries to deny them, the truth of his feelings hunts and haunts him because he feels he can never act on his own desires. And in turn when presented with the about face, Michael turns bitter as the push-pull is reinitiated. Michael falls back to the script they’ve been rehashing to save his feelings - ‘puts on a show’ as it were, and Alex falls for it hook, line, and sinker. He is still unwilling or unable to see the truth that lies beneath the surface.

“Isn’t there some law about building on a historical site?”

“A historical - oh you mean because the UFO crashed here? Yeah, we’re not supposed to build on Santa’s workshop either.”

For Michael, who at least to me was obviously hoping things would change this time around, this must feel like a bucket of cold water, especially in the face of Liz Ortecho’s knowledge and seeming easy acceptance of the aliens’ existence. While Max might get his happy ending, Michael is left to keep hiding from the person he loves, never being seen and wondering if Alex’s feelings are even real.

Two Princes - Spin Doctors (1x02) (Miluca)

In rapid fire we have the next three songs as Michael and Alex spend some time at the Wild Pony. This verse plays under the interaction when Alex comes in the bar and spots Michael.

“Though he got kinda hot. In a ‘sex in a truck, smells like a river, never introduce him to your mama’ kind of way.”

“I hadn’t noticed.”

My boy. My child. My bluntest instrument in the tool kit. Has no one ever told Alex Manes that saying you hadn’t noticed an objectively hot guy is hot is basically code for ‘I haven’t stopped staring at him since I walked in and my brain is not functioning at a high enough level to mask that fact’? Son, please, this is a drunk Wendy’s.

(Also this is huge foreshadowing for Miluca - Michael and Maria don’t have sex *in* a truck but it’s pretty close, we find out later that Michael/the aliens smell like rain, and she tells him he’s not meeting her mother at one point. The angle of this shot is also, for me at least, a hint that Michael is going to become the object of these two ‘princes’ affections, at some point.)

Anyway this is basically poking fun at Alex Manes, repressed disaster, for having no clue what love is and trying to express his affection through like, everything except anything anyone would understand as romantic love. (And we will see this in the flashbacks as well as present day - that Alex mostly uses his station or advantages as a way to show the people he loves he loves them, rather than using words. When he offers Michael the shed, brings him the guitar, uses his military connections to find out about Michel’s mom, hacks into Maria’s computer...listen I got more.) But that isn’t enough, as we’re learning. If only there were some way Alex could also learn that lesson.

And seriously, “This one said he wants to buy you rockets?”

How’s It Going To Be? - Stephen Edwards (1x02)

“Is there really nobody in this world that you wouldn’t risk everything to save? Sad.”

Oh Isobel, if only you knew.

So, aside from returning the kiss Michael initiated at the reunion, Alex has soundly rejected every advance Michael has made for a relationship. Despite that Michael seems to have been harboring some hope that things might be different not that Alex is back more permanently. But now with Isobel bringing into question what he’s willing to sacrifice, I think he might be realizing that toll has been extremely steep already.

(Also truly obsessed with how both Alex and Michael have positioned themselves so that they can casually glance over at each other without arousing suspicion. *Boys*. It’s not that complicated what is this middle school?)

We know that Michael doesn’t like having to keep secrets, and again I have to wonder if he’s regretting not telling Alex he’s an alien, or wondering how that conversation would have gone.

From the previous scenes we can tell something in their relationship is coming to a head - maybe Michael is hoping it’s that he can finally stop keeping secrets from Alex and show Alex who he really is - that Alex will stop misreading him. That Alex will change.

But there is also the expectation that if that happens, Alex will likely leave again. Not just because that’s what Alex’s trauma makes him do, but also because that is how Michael frames all of his relationships. As ‘until you leaves’. He is shown to have a habit of catastrophizing because he doesn’t believe himself to ‘belong’ anywhere(HA) and this is one of those times we’re shown that.

Come With Me - Gold Star (1x02)

“Home can be a person.”

And here we have Alex “thinking about who he was” as Maria closes up the bar. Given where this scene leads with him and Michael, I think the rest of the lyrics to the song are incredibly poignant.

Tell me what were you dreaming? Tell me who were you trying to reach? Gimme something real to believe in Or gimme a reason to leave So i left her standing under shining stars in the Silver moonlight by old Borough Hall - whoever you are

We know that after this evening Alex attempts to rekindle his relationship with Michael, still thinking about who he was, and maybe for the first time trying not to run from what he wants. He’ll be unsuccessful this time, but it’s the first clue that Alex is attempting to break a pattern that has held him in place for ten years.

While he may have been misreading Michael’s stunted growth, we’re starting to see Alex contemplate change in himself. This is the start of Alex’s two season long journey to break out of the fortress he’s built around himself. To ‘put his weapons down’ in an effort to be with Michael.

(She lets her guard down on her way back//to close her eyes and fall asleep - “It was late....I was tired.”)

God of Wine - Third Eye Blind

So clearly the writers were like ‘how can we hurt Milo specifically’ because these lyrics are *so good* as we hear malex talk about the way they view their relationship for the first time in the show.

The music starts just as Michael picks up the old photographs, first of the pod squad, then of himself and Alex playing guitars in the desert. As he packs up the airstream to move it off Foster’s Ranch, Michael is also thinking about the past.

Throughout the series, we’re given a bunch of musical lines about how Michael and Alex can’t go back to what they were, that they have to move forward. And it’s true - as we’ll see over and over again the dynamic they’ve had has been incredibly unhealthy for both of them. But they also cannot avoid the other’s orbit. And when Alex comes to talk to Michael it’s the first time we see him actually decide to initiate - to try and take what he himself wants, rather than waiting or hiding from it. But it is also very much Alex falling back into the ‘madness that holds a truth he can’t erase’ of Michael’s really, very, super, incredibly obvious feelings for him. Our boy is not subtle.

But Alex is still hunted by the past - before we know his history we assume that when Alex references ‘who he was before he went to war’ he means Iraq. But Alex’s war is his father. As much as combat can absolutely be a traumatizing experience, for Alex I never really read that as his main source. As he’ll tell Forrest later - “My PTSD triggers are a little more complicated”.

And so when he tells Michael he’s been thinking about who he was “before he went to war” for me that’s more a callback to who he was before Jesse found the two of them in the toolshed. “When this started.”

As Michael tells him “From where I stand nothing’s changed” the words “I know, I know, I know” repeat in the background because WE KNOW. We all know, except Alex.

“And that’s a problem for me, Guerin.”

And the siren’s song that is your madness

“Because every time you look at me, I’m seventeen all over again.”

holds a truth I can’t erase

“- and I forget that the last ten years even happened. And then you look away and I remember all over again. And it almost kills me every time.”

All alone on your face

“I never look away. Not really.”

For Michael this is basically confirmation of what he’s been realizing over the last few days - that Alex has been totally misreading him and that yes, Michael, you’re going to have to use your words on this one.

To which we see Alex’s brain 404-blue-screen for a minute as he realizes what Michael means. Which I personally really appreciate.

And especially since we’ve just learned that a lyric of this song was written on Rosa’s hand the night she died, I can’t believe it’s a coincidence in this being the song that plays underneath this scene - where Alex says he was thinking about who he was before. Everything changed that day for everyone - including Michael and Alex. Michael had gained a terrible secret he couldn’t share, that meant he changed his whole life and started needing to hide and lie and act out, and Alex - not knowing the truth - assumed that it was Michael’s way of trying to push him away and end the relationship. Which leads to the decades long miscommunication of Alex seeing Michael do that over and over again.

For the last ten years, Alex has been seeing Michael as the boy who looks away, then looks back. A Michael whose focus shifts to and away from him and who he sees as wasting his life; directionless and aimless. But as he realizes what Michael is saying he has to recalibrate everything he’s thought their relationship is.

This is possibly the first time Alex has realized that his view of Michael has been wrong. That he really doesn’t know Michael at all.

And we know this interaction has a profound impact on Alex in terms of how he views their relationship. I feel like this is one of those things that becomes a mantra for Alex, later down the line. He repeats it to Michael at Caulfield, and in his song as well, “You never looked away, now I won’t look away” to express his commitment to breaking down the walls he has built up for himself.

Even though we know the relationship is doomed at this point, it’s the first time a stone falls from the walls Alex has built around himself in a decade.

Here - Chance Peña - 1x03 (Alternate title: “Home”)

Okay I would like to petition to make it illegal to have unreleased songs in episodes, Chance Peña help a bitch out. I had to watch a *fish show* to hear the full lyrics because they’re edited in the show! ( I will also note the next lyric is ‘goodbye, my dear’ which. rude.)

Anyway, we’re given these lyrics as Michael wakes up to seeing Alex has stayed the night. I took the editing, with the previous song choices, to be a reaffirmation of this being something new to Alex, but not necessarily to Michael. Michael knows what he wants from a relationship with Alex - even if he’s put the hope aside from time to time the want is always clear.

For Alex though, a relationship with Michael is something that scares him because of his fear that it can be taken away. (”I just thought that I could be happy, and not be afraid that if I loved anything my dad would destroy it.”) He is trying to make it work - “drawing near” to Michael - but he knows that in order to do that he is going to need to be uncomfortable. To face the fears that have held him back and kept him in comfortable limbo for so long.

I’m also going to flail about how, while RNM has the song listed as ‘Here’, the producer of the other show(Battlefish) identified the song as ‘Home’. I hope I don’t have to yell at y’all, other Roswell New Mexico fans, about how often that word has snuck up on me and knifed me in the back regarding malex. Especially since Alex *is* currently - well, here. With his home. Kill me please it would be kinder.

But then of course we see the old insecurities pop up again as Isobel arrives. Even if he is trying - Alex is nowhere near ready to jump out of the closet yet.

Fast Aint Good Enough - Inkwell Echo (1x06)

I debated adding this one because it’s a little bit reachy, but I thought it was significant in that even when they were seventeen, the thing Alex is ‘afraid of’ is his feelings for Michael - not necessarily of being gay but of what people like Kyle and his father do with information like that.

Wish I’d found the words when we were seventeen-

Kyle asks

“What are you so afraid of?”

-just as Alex catches sight of Michael.

(“I wanted to be the kind of person who won battles. It felt good.”)

Aside from Alex’s general need to protect Michael in any and all situations, I feel like the lyrics of this song - about the singer’s attempt to leave an abusive relationship - underscore that even before the toolshed, Alex was fighting. Even before the toolshed, he has been fighting to this cycle he is trapped in.

While he and Michael build their relationship he starts thinking seriously about leaving and not just surviving but he will ultimately choose to trap himself for years in order to hide his love for Michael.

Like so many gay kids, Alex is fighting a system that deems him guilty of sin - and takes his fighting back as a sign of his guilt. And in order to actually be able to love Michael, he is going to have to figure out how to put down the weapons and the hurt and break the cycle.

First Day Of My Life - Bright Eyes (1x06)

Are they serious right now I swear to god.

So obviously, we’ve got the origins for everything we’re told about Michael and Alex’s lives changing based on their feelings for each other in like two and a half verses of song. Forget the entire second season we have everything we need right here.

“It was the first time I liked our hometown, though.”

“Alex made me believe there was a place for me here.”

We know that for both of them this is really a moment of self discovery as much as it is a discovery about each other.

For Michael in particular, who doesn’t know why he’s here or who he really is, and who previously had no plans besides leaving the planet, this is the moment that he realizes what he wants - to be with Alex.

And for Alex, to me, this moment is a brief glimpse into what his life could be like. We don’t have any confirmation if Michael is his first kiss with a boy or not, but we do know that this moment is significant in that it’s the first that makes Roswell feel like a place he enjoys being.

And as he is realizing that, the lyrics echo it -

But I realized that I need you // And I wondered if I could come home

(Screeching from the background: WOULD YOU COME HOME)

But of course, as the song says, these things take forever because...well....

(It’s because Alex is dumb. My poor dumb emotionally stunted child. Please go to therapy.)

In essence, this is the moment that sets Michael and Alex on their entwined path. The path that Alex will have to fight to get back to - the path Michael will lose faith in before he later starts to regain the hope that it exists. I also like to think about the link between the last lines:

Remember the time you drove all night // Just to meet me in the morning?

and the line from ‘Would You Come Home’

Would you meet me in the middle // Could we both stop keeping score?

I like to think about the parallel here, about meeting people where they’re at, and the love and care and effort it takes to be willing to drive all night to meet someone. Listen a bitch is soft and gay don’t look at me.

You Can’t Love Me - Novi & Tyler Blackburn (1x12)

(*Whispers and rocks back and forth* this is fine it’s all fine)

Once again we have a song whose lyrics give us a tailor made road map to Malex, and will pop up later in ‘Would You Come Home’. We’ve already seen the implosion of the way Michael and Alex have been orbiting each other for a decade, but now that Alex knows the truth, he actually has the ability to understand Michael in ways he hasn’t been able to before. (Something we’ll see later in Season 2 when he talks with Maria.)

And because of that, we see the true beginning of the journey of Michael and Alex back to one another in a healthier way.

But part of that journey is going to be realizing that what they’ve been doing and the way they have loved each other in the past isn’t sustainable - and maybe isn’t even the way they want to love each other.

“They’re my family, Alex!”

“Alright, maybe! But you are mine. I don’t look away, Guerin.”

“No. We’ve been holding onto this thing. And it’s gotten us nowhere. Just let it go.”

Even though the words are said in anger, there is some truth to what Michael says. Their relationship so far hasn’t been a good one. Where Alex is trying to repeat the words that Michael said to him that made such an impact on him, Michael is (well, a, trying to save his dumb boyfriend from getting flambayed) using the opportunity to reveal how little faith he has in their relationship. To say that no, this doesn’t feel like love.

But as much as the song lyrics are about loving someone who isn’t good for you, they’re also about changing and growing, and about a commitment to be better.

(Sound familiar? Brb, I’m gonna go jump off a cliff.)

Love is messy, and especially for Michael and Alex, love has always been something that hurts. “Home is where the hurt is” - and a really important part of their journey is realizing that, and realizing there is a different way of loving each other.

Additionally for Alex, this is when he starts to realize the full extent of his family’s involvement in hunting and hurting Michael’s family. It isn’t just his dad - his entire family line has been involved in this since before Alex was born. And still is. This is really where he starts realizing the roots of the guilt and shame he’s going to have to deal with in order to be anything to Michael - not even a partner but a friend.

This is the first step in that journey. Not just the commitment that yes - I want to build a home for you - but that first, I don’t know, maybe I need to put down these weapons and pick up a different set of tools?

ON TO SEASON TWO

#rnmmarchformeta2021 #roswellmarchformeta2021 #rnm meta #Alex/Michael #alex manes #michael guerin #maria deluca #sort of? shes mentioned #1x01 #1x02 #1x03 #all episodes #Day 1 Themes #meta #malex #tw ptsd #tw injury #tw queerbashing #tw flashbacks

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phoenix-manga · 4 years

Text

[DCA Event] - Six Queens Event Part 5

Warning: Dark Jokes

[Howard - All you wanna do]

It was Cerule’s turn, the ghost sends a promiscuous feeling thorugh her soul. They expected Cerule to be like Briar, vulnerable to being possessed completely not because of a relation in their situation, but more like Cerule is a bit impulsive at times. But surprisingly she was just as strong willed as Vidya, it could be perhaps because of her family’s hereditary power.

Using her voice, the ghost is blocked by the magic that her voice possesses. She gets into center stage as her eyes glowed a bright pink. She gets her act on stage and the audience thought this was just the sexy type character. But they won’t realize that this act was the darkest part of the play.

Cerule starts to ‘roast’ the queens as they tell her that she can’t compete with them in terms of having the worst life. The crowd chuckles at her sarcasm, Jade and Rook were invested in this act and with how she carries herself with such confidence. They stan a queen who knows how attractive they are and doesn’t regret flaunting it.

Cerule: Yeah… yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna need all the luck I can get, your lives sounded terrible and your songs… really helped to convey that. I mean, Catherine, almost moving into a nunnery and then not? It almost could’ve been really hard for you. And Anne! Anne, getting your head chopped off? Surely, that means you’ll win the competition— oh, wait, wait, hang on a sec. Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded… oh, wait, nevermind. Audience:

And Jane, dying of natural causes? When will justice be served?! And surviving… Audience: *Laughs as she skips Rozeline* Seriously, seriously, Anna, all jokes aside, being rejected for your looks legit sounds really rough. I wouldn’t know anything about that. Audience:

Cerule: I mean look at me, I’m really fit. So yeah. I can’t even begin to think of how I’m going to compete with you all. Oh wait, like this...

She snaps her fingers as the lights flash pink and the song starts. Cerule had been practicing on using her voice for the act, since there was a lot of times she’s lost control over it. The harsh vocal training with Professor Faustus was worth it, she uses her voice to make the audience feel the wave of sensual excitement, but for only a small portion, it was enough to get them to focus on her.

Crowley feels the need to tell her that she shouldn’t be dancing so sensually, but Divus just pulls on his shirt collar again and reminds him that it’s a play, chill out or he’ll be tempted to tighten his tie. (Poor Crowley, his view on the perfectly well-behaved students are being dragged through the gutter, for real though... chill Bird Dad let the Serpent King do the scolding XD)

Jack was now praying to whatever Gods who might be listening to not have Idia kill him as Ortho sits there still with a curious expression. Like the majority of the audience, he can feel his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

Others who are affected are Epel who is red as Riddle who happens to be clutching Trey’s sleeve as the third year was covering his mouth with his hand, Ace is affected too but he’s focused on laughing at Deuce who is covering his eyes with his hands whenever Cerule coincidentally makes eye contact in his spot of the crowd. Cater was just vibing with the music, typical playboy not affected.

Azul is blushing too but he is struggling to NOT look away because he can feel Jade glance at him from time to time. Floyd was just enjoying the music, go figure. For Azul, if he looks away that would mean that the twins would NEVER shut up about this incident for weeks! He’s having a battle, internally with himself and the twins. Cerule’s dancing just makes it worse because it looked so damn convincing! Not to mention the way she sang the song! OCTOBOY IS REACHING PUBERTY XD

Cerule: All you wanna do, all you wanna do baby~ Touch me, love me can’t get enoughsies~ Azul:

But when she reached the climax of her song the feeling of excitement faded as she her expression morphs from playful to a near meltdown, her dancing stops as she shakes off the hands of the queens when they make contact on her body. The crowd goes silent as the feeling of dread and pity washes over them like a raging wave.

Vil, let’s just say that he can find things that he can relate to being fairest. He may or may not have felt like this when he was pursuing his path of reaching ultimate beauty. He applauds Cerule’s acting, it looked so convincing, as if he was seeing the actual young queen go through the trauma of being used by the men in her life.

Cerule: Touch me when will enough BE ENOUGHSIES?! Audience: *silently realizing the real situation*

When the song was over, she could barely feel the possession fading since it was mostly blocked by the magic of her voice. At the end of the song, people were clapping loudly but there was little cheering.

Not because they didn’t like the act but because it took such a dark turn. But they admire the acting because some were in tears, we now know whose been in that situation before.

[Queens Fight]

Cerule lightens the atmosphere by explaining that’s how she was beheaded. This was the part where the queens would start to argue.

It starts when Cerule claims that she is the winner because she’s had it way worse. But the others seem to disagree with that.

Briar comes up to Cerule and states that she may have had it bad but it wasn’t the worst they have heard this evening.

Cerule retorts back by stating that she had sung four choruses, that’s the amount of SH*T she has had to deal with.

Allison speaks up by saying how the situation was similar to hers so she ain’t the only one who has experienced that.

Allison: Wow, yeah, being manipulated by men and paying the price, none of us could possibly imagine what that— oh wait, yeah, I did experience that. Evonie: Yeah, for like that last five minutes of your marriage, Anne! Men had manipulated me from day one. I was literally shipped over from a foreign country, not knowing a single word of English, to marry some random dude. Vidya: Oh my god, same! Audience: *laughs*

Evonie tries to argue again about how the king didn’t even say goodbye but was cut off when Allison and Cerule said that they’ve been there too except she got to keep her lovely neck. The two high five while giving Evonie the stink eye.

And her last statement about the king not allowing her to see her only child who had the chickenpox, which sets Briar off. And the outburst shocks everyone, the motherly queen lashing out in anger.

Evonie: when my one and only child had a raging fever, Henry didn’t even let me, her MOTHER see her- Briar: OH BOOHOO! Baby Mary had the chickenpox and you weren’t there to hold her hand! You know, it’s funny because when I wanted to hold my newborn son, I died!

Malleus: *Was just accepting it at face value and has no energy left to be shook anymore*

The entire room was silent as they gawked at Briar’s outburst.

Vidya buts in by yelling how she has the plague and the queens all turn to her, concern written on their faces.

Vidya: Guys I have the plague! Queens: What?! Vidya: Lol I’m just kidding my life’s amazing~

At the sight of a smug queen with the other five giving her a displeased look, the crowd erupts into laughter.

Kalim is laughing while he’s clinging to Jamil, Ace was choking on his spit and is trying not to laugh because he is going to lose more oxygen. Floyd is cackling because he would probably do this joke too if he had the money to back it up. Azul is scowling a bit because, let’s face it he had a bad life at childhood.

Although Vidya adds that she was humiliated on an international scale but Allison sarcastically asks who could possibly relate but Evonie snaps at her at what would she know about humiliation. This was the moment that sh*t went down.

Evonie: You seriously wanna talk about humiliation?! Well, when I was queen... Henry had not one, not two but three historically confirmed mistresses! Allison: Oh no, mistresses.. GET OVER IT! When I was queen I had not one, not two, but THREE... M I S C A R R I A G E S!

*Record Scratch*

Vil, Divus, Cater, Rook, Jade and Lilia:

Riddle, Azul, Jack, Sebek and Malleus:

Ace, Deuce, Epel, Ortho, Floyd and Silver:

Crowley:

The audience went apesh*t at that and it got crazier when Evonie one-upped her by yelling how she had five miscarriages. And the five queens started going at each other’s throats and yelling.

Rozeline stopped the fighting by yelling, “That’s ENOUGH!”

[Extra]

Rozeline yelled so loud that it shocked the five queens. To the audience it was just acting but for Rozeline this was going out of control. She could feel the ghosts nearly take over the dorm leaders as they argued. Their eyes glowing brighter and even Vidya and Cerule who had really strong wills to resist were being crumbled down almost becoming vulnerable themselves.

That was a close call for sure, but Rozeline thought back to the moment they got possessed. She had a song prepared about the life of the sixth queen but looking back at it, what was the point of making their pain known? She sympathized with the queens because they were in the same position as her, they felt powerless against the man who held the power to take away their lives. But should she just end the show with their suffering?

What about the happy ending? She wanted them to be recognized but would she want them to be recognized like this?

The six wives of Henry VIII who suffered in his hands?

That was what they were, just HIS wives. Nothing has changed and Rozeline was not about to settle for this!

They’ve had enough suffering, she regrets not seeing this sooner but she’ll make the ending count. Hopefully the girls wouldn’t mind if she went off script for just a bit, right? Time for a histo-rewrite to ensure the legacy of the Six!

She just needs the ghosts to realize that they are so much more than just their history with the king.

#phnx #dca #diamond crown academy #dca events #six queens event #six #twst oc #twst #twisted wonderland oc #dca headcanon #headcanons

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orlissa · 4 years

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Since @agenthaywood and I talked about this the other day, and since apparently I’m a bit of an insomniac, here it comes: a little intro to the Hungarian educational system. Because it’s a mess.

First of all, we need to talk about two things: classes and the matura.

Unlike (as far as I understand) the US, where you have kinship with the people you were in the same year with, in Hungary, you have kinship with the people you belonged to the same class with. Classes are teams, closed entities. It’s 20-odd (elementary school) to thirty-odd (high school) people, who have most of their classes together, except for specializations. So everyone in the class has basically the same schedule for the whole duration of elementary/high school. They take school trips together. They often compete as a team against other classes in their year.

And then the matura--the matura is the national, centralized exam that marks the end of high school. Each student has to take it in at least five subjects: Hungarian Literature & Grammar, Math, History, one foreign language, and one freely chosen subject (back when I did this, it could be anything. Now I think it must be some science subject). You can take each of those on two levels: “middle” or “advanced.” The middle levels happen in your own school, overssen by your own teachers. The advanced levels happen in unfamiliar schools (one appointed for each subject in each district), and you’re never examined by your own teachers. Advanced levels are of course harder, but the percentages for each grade are also lower. As far as I know, you have to take at least one advanced level matura. They happen in two rounds: the written round starting in early May (Lit & Grammar on Monday, Math on Tuesday, History on Wednesday, English/German on Thursday of the first week, with all the other subjects following in the next two weeks or so), and then the oral round in mid-late June (the middle level orals happen throughout a 2-3 days period, a person doing all of their oral exams in one go). The outcome of your maturas, given in points, determine your college admissions (but, like, for example if you wanna go to med school, your elective subject needs to be Chemistry or Biology. If you wanna get into an English as a foreign language program, you have to take an advanced level English matura. Every year, there’s a huge book listing all the programs in all the universities in the country, where you can check what are the exact requirements for each program).

Personally, I took advanced level Lit & Grammar and English, middle level Math and History, and middle level Art/Art History. All the programs I applied for were in the field of humanities, all asking for Lit/English/History/whatever, so I really only did Art for “fun.” I got 98% on English, 95 or 96% on Art, 90-something% on History, 90% on Math, and 84% on Lit (for middle levels, A starts at 80%; for advanced levels, it starts at 60%), which meant that after some complicated math, my overall score was, I think, 468 out of 500. That year you had to have 422 points to get into my first choice

Okay, so, yeah XD I told you it was complicated XD

Anyway, the actual educational ladder: kids go to elementary school at 6/7 (back when I was in school, if you were born during the summer, so you didn’t turn six by the time the school year ended, your parents could decided to keep you in kindergarden for one more year. Now I think if the kid turns 6 by the time the school year starts in september, he or she is required to start school), and it consists of grades 1-8, which is divided into two parts: junior (grades 1-4), where all the classes are held in the same classroom, taught by the same teacher, and senior (grades 5-8) part, where the students migrate between classrooms, and each subject is taught by a different teacher. BUT the class itself remains an entitiy--you attend grade 4 and grade 5 classes with the same people.

Then comes high school. High school application works pretty much like college application: 8 graders take a centralized, national-wide test on Math and Literature in January, and their scores there, plus their previous grades determine which high school they have applied to will take them. But, like... even this system is not as clear cut as it might seem at the first glance :D for example, I didn’t take the centralized test. My first choice of high school (where I eventually went) was out of town/district, and it was a special program that required its own entrance exams. My other choices were withing my district, but the december before I started high school I came second out of 200+ at an IT studies competition, which meant that I had “admission exam amnesty” or whatever. Basically all the high schools within the district were obliged to accept me on merit if I applied to them.

Okay, so elementary school finished, you go to high school--but not necesarrily the one that is the closest to your home. Instead, as stated above, you apply to different high schools, based on which one is the best/strongest/closest to your personal level. So, basically, C students will mostly end up in one class with other C students, B students with other B students, A students with other A students... You get the picture.

High school generally lasts 4 years, however, there are other programs as well. There are 8 and 6 year long programs--they have their own admission exams, and they start after grade 4 or 6. These are usually good schools, often require tuition fees and focus on foreign languages. Meanwhile, 5 years long programs start after grade 8, and have a “0th” grade which focuses on a foreign language (I went to a program like that--I had 9 English classes a week in the first year).

For example, my high school had 4 class in each year: Class A and B were 6 years long programs, A focusing on languages and B on Math, class C was a 4 years long program (general curriculum), and Class D was 5 years long (special government-funded program for gifted kids from difficult backgrounds.)

Also, there are different kinds of high schools. What I wrote above applies to what we call “gimnázium”--gimnázium teaches no vocation, and instead focuses on readying people for university. You are basically expected to go to university if you go to a gimnázium. Then, as per as current terminology, there are szakgimnáziums: they also ready you for university, and they end with the matura exams, but they also focus on a specific (usually white collar, such as accounting, healthcare, electric engineering, etc.) vocation. People who go to a szakgimnázium have to take a matura in their chosen vocation. And then there are szakközépiskolas: in a szakközépiskola, students study a specific (usually blue collar) vocation, and take an exam on that vocation after three years of study. Szakközépiskola do not end with the matura exams--if you wanna take the maturas, you have to stay for two extra years.

So, yeah... I told you it’s complicated :D

#hungary #personal #education

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avionvadion · 4 years

Photo

So the first two are some VERY old drawings- like, I was back in high school kinda drawings. Oof. Sorta hurts to look at it, but whatever. XD The next two plus the dancing one are closer together, though still fairly old, and the Ienzo drawing is one I did literally the other night because I was listening to “soldier” nightcore and OH MY GODS.

Because, like, Nobodies grow hearts over time? Well, Irene is crushing on Zexion from the start, and she pretty much just sort of annoys him into falling in love with her- though he doesn’t realize it. He just gets angrier and more flustered, until La City de Cloches happens (right before CoM) and he snaps. (Riku witnesses their friendship in the DDD part of the fanfic, or at least will when I’m able to write ti) Also, while I originally planned on them masquerading as gypsies because it’s fanfiction and I can do that, um, I rewatched Book of Life and realized-! BATTLE DANCE MOVES! Which basically inspired the last page because it’s them fighting and doing a team attack. A dancing team attack.

I’M A ZEXION/IENZO SIMP OKAY I’M SORRY I LOVE ONE MAN AND IT’S HIM HE IS BEST DISNEY PRINCE

Story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12448743/chapters/28327938

Major Fanfic Spoilers below

Anyway, the whole Irene/Ienzo conflict is that Irene was super freaking in love with Zexion, right? She was happy and sweet, and he was calculative and manipulative and smart, and she knew that, and he knew that, and it worked. But then he died. Lexaeus- bodyguard/father figure- died. Everyone at CoM died. Even Xion. But then Roxas defects.

Irene tracks Roxas to Twilight Town after he ran away from the Organization in a desperate attempt to bring him back so to avoid his obliteration. In the process she meets Hayner, Pence, and Olette who mention they just met a blond a day or two ago and wish her luck in finding her friend. She learns of the abandoned mansion and encounters “Ansem” at the gate. She asks him about Roxas, but the only response she got in turn was Soul Eater pointed at her face. Irene tries to go about things peacefully, but when he refuses to put his weapon away Irene summons her own and tells him that she won’t go easy on him for hiding her “brother” from her. Irene wins and manages to break into the mansion.

There she encounters Namine, who is all too aware of who Irene is because of her connection to Roxas and Riku- and therefore her connection to Sora. Namine is surprised, but says that she should have expected Irene to come to the mansion because of how much she cares for Roxas and the other organization members. She then says that she’s always wanted to meet Irene since she found out about her, having learned of her apparent affection towards Nobodies. She explains that Roxas is hidden in a version of Twilight Town DiZ created, but his memories of her were now locked away.

“Without the memories of Kairi… Sora can’t wake up. He needs Roxas.”

“So do we! Roxas is my family; I’m not leaving without him!”

“But… if you take him away, then…”

“Then he gets to live. I am NOT losing him, too. Just take the memories out of him and put them back into Sora!”

“I… I can’t… it’ll take too much time…”

Irene storms out and locates the basement, but during that time Namine panics and tries to mess with her memory. Unfortunately, as a Keeper of Heart Irene’s memories can’t be altered as much as a normal person’s and due to that Irene becomes incredibly dizzy. Having made her way to hidden basement Irene encounters DiZ, who mocks her in her state for caring so much for a being that doesn’t even have feelings. Irene snaps at him, saying that he knows nothing about Nobodies and their feelings, and tells him that the bonds between her and the Nobody friends she made are what keep her going.

“I-I’ve already lost so many… I won’t… let you… take Roxas, too!”

She summons her staff and goes to attack, but “Ansem” arrives in time to protect DiZ. She goes so far as to call them murderers for trying to remove Roxas from the world, but DiZ merely laughs and says that Roxas shouldn’t have even existed in the first place. This only makes Irene more angry and her attacks against a weary “Ansem” become more wild and frustrated.

“You know NOTHING! Of them, of the Organization, of the way they treat each other! One may lack a heart… but the feelings are still there! Wh-When they died… when that girl went missing… Roxas cried! And mourned! And hurt!” Knocks “Ansem” back and switches her illusion staff to her own. “Without being there or witnessing any of it… YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT NOBODIES!”

Goes to swing the staff with a huge surge of light, when Namine started to try and lock up her memories of the Organization- thus causing Irene to fumble. She falls to her knees and begins to panic, knowing SOMETHING was happening to her. Her eyes lock onto the rings and gloves on her hands and she realizes- she couldn’t remember who they were from. A face was starting to fade from her memory, the face of someone very important to her, and she begins to panic- frantically trying to recall the name as she stands and stumbles back into a wall.

Irene begins screaming when her head begins to throb to the point it felt like her skull was splitting into two. Namine’s powers were starting to fail and Irene was on the verge of recalling Zexion’s name when “Ansem” takes the initiative to knock her out. DiZ decides to place her in the virtual Twilight Town with Roxas, removing all the gear the Org members have given her (including her coat), and had Namine alter both her and Roxas memories enough to where they would coincide. However, Namine could only do so much and was unable to “make” new memories for Irene, only able to lock up the majority of them and edit the details of the remaining few.

When Irene woke up she remembered nothing except her sibling status with Roxas. Roxas believed Irene to be his sister and the only remaining survivor of the “accident”. She obtained amnesia since the accident and was brought home only recently since she recovered from hospital. He explained that any gaps in her memory could be because of the head injury she sustained, but Irene couldn’t feel much pain at all aside from a light headache. During the seven days Irene behaved overly doting towards Roxas, taking side-jobs from the help wanted boards in an attempt to help support them so Roxas wasn’t doing things on his own anymore.

Also Struggles with him sometimes to help prepare for the tournament after it gets revealed that she was the one who taught him how to struggle. Is surprised by her own strength. Eventually sometime while hanging up posters for the upcoming struggle match Irene encounters “Ansem” again. He’s just standing there and watching her, and her feeling rather uncomfortable upon noticing him calls him out and tries to strike a conversation.

“Hey~ random person! How you doing? New in Twilight Town?” No answer. “O-kay… well! You want one of these posters? The tournament’s coming up soon and my little bro’s gonna be fighting in it! Well, I say “little” but he’s like fifteen? Also taller than me, which is lame, but hey! You should come watch! You might enjoy it.”

“...”

“No?”

“Ansem” leaves and Irene is left very confused, but also feeling like she should know that person from somewhere because of the coat. Thinking about it makes the pounding in her skull worse, so she stops focusing on it. More time passes and Irene is at the accessory looking for something to help Roxas out a day before the tournament when she catches sight of the rings. Her head starts to hurt again and she wonders why looking at them hurt her heart so much, and why her fingers suddenly felt so exposed. Leaves the shop, only to crash into “Ansem” again who shoves two rings into her hands.

“If they’re so important to you, you should try harder not to lose them.”

Before she could ask what he was talking about he’s gone and Irene is left standing there, staring at the rings in her hands and wondering what he meant by that. She puts on one of the rings and places the other in her pocket, and heads home to get started on another cooking attempt for dinner. Sometime later Roxas comes out of his room- very dazed and confused, not understanding how he got there since he was certain he fell off the clock tower- and after dinner when Irene is putting the dishes away she asks Roxas if he knew why the rings she had were so important to her.

He’s surprised to see them, having believed they were lost in the accident, and hesitantly tells her that the ring she was wearing was given to her by her boyfriend- the same one that died in the accident- and that the other was the ring she gave to him. Irene’s headache gets worse, but she’s just barely able to recall a face. In the mansion DiZ questions “Ansem”, demanding why he intervened, and “Ansem” responds that those rings in particular were something they should have never taken from her. Later that night Irene winds up in her heart, where she is asked a question and is forced to fight a previous Keeper.

During the day of the struggle when time freezes and Roxas is forced to fight the dusks, Irene moves to help him only to be dragged away by “Ansem”. Continuously blocking her way, Irene gets frustrated and in her determination to help her “brother” she summons her weapon. There she fights “Ansem”, but just as she starts to win the world unfreezes and he vanishes into a corridor of darkness. Irene is really confused and her weapon disappears, but quickly runs back to the match and is surprised to find everyone cheering- the dusks nowhere to be seen and Roxas apparently victorious against Vivi. The dusks reminded Irene of something and she passes out after focusing too much on it, and recalls pieces of her conversation with Zexion/Lexaeus after she found out the dusks listened to her.

When the seventh day comes Namine releases the locks on Irene’s memories and the girl goes in desperate search for Roxas, but ends up having to evade the hordes of Nobodies attacking. Memories back she heads to the mansion and finds Roxas just in time, stopping him from calling out to Sora. Roxas apologizes, knowing full well he was causing her and Maria both grief, but tells her about the dreams he had of Sora and that- even if he didn’t want to- Roxas had to do this. So many worlds and people needed Sora. He asks her to respect his decision and to keep smiling, and then fades into Sora. Irene starts to breakdown and panics when Sora starts to wake, running off in an attempt to hide. Unfortunately she slams right into Goofy and Donald who have just woken up, and is almost instantly mistaken as “Mazy” by Goofy who had last seen Maria when she was a young teen. Irene is instantly confused only to remember Maria’s stories about Goofy and realizes mid-bear hug what was happening. He sets her down, only to notice her eyes were brown instead of hazel and that she WASN’T actually Maria, and apologizes. Then asks why she’s so upset, but Irene quickly changes the subject by bringing up Sora and saying something about how “someone was waking up in the next room” and Donald and Goofy run off to find Sora.

Irene makes a break for it, but encounters “Ansem” again. He tosses her bag and white coat at her, all her equipment inside, and tells her to “Go”. Rather than grateful she ends up even more confused and mad at him as he was the reason Roxas was now gone, and she didn’t understand why he was helping her so much, but he says nothing and merely vanishes into a Dark Corridor. “What is wrong with that man?”

Finds a room to hide in and puts her coat on, looking through the bag to find her equipment and is more than alarmed when she finds the bracelet she made for Lexaeus in there. He had worn it to C.O so it should have been there, so why was it in her bag…? Did that man put it there? His weapon looked a little like a keyblade- could he have been the one to kill him? And the photo from Halloween Town with them and Zexion... Irene was just about to open a portal to the castle, ready to resign herself to her fate of having to explain the situation to Maria, when the door slams open and Sora, Donald, and Goofy walk in.

Gets questioned by Donald and reluctantly answers most of them, when Goofy has a realization like, “I get it! The reason you look like lil’ Mazy is ‘cause yer her other half, isn’t it?”

Sora is super duper confused and Donald is in disbelief, and Irene is like, “Er, I mean, I am, but the reason we look alike is because we’re sisters??? Not because we’re both Keepers??? Hi??”

Que Goofy having an excited freak out because holy crap his little Mazy has a little sister he’s so happy for Maria. Asks how she is and what she’s doing, but before Irene could actually answer Donald throws a fit because the King was looking for the other Keeper and she’s right in front of them- they HAVE to bring her along- and Sora is just asking what the heck a “Keeper” is and who “Maria” was. Goofy and Donald explain, then bring up how the Keepers of Heart are supposed to work together with keyblade wielders to free captive hearts, and Sora gets on board with bringing her along because why not?? The more the merrier, right??? And Irene is all types of “Nope” but they aren’t having it. Donald is the most aggressive about it. Irene is cursing her luck as she just wanted to go back to the castle and burrow under the covers like a depressed bunny rabbit.

And now Irene is even more distraught then before. Maria learns that Sora was in C.O and tries to kill him, and Irene attempts to defend him because Roxas was still in there somewhere- she can feel his light- which causes Maria to call her delusional. Maria, feeling betrayed by Irene, tries to kill HER while Sora is unconscious, and Goofy drags Donald and Sora back to the gummi ship. Irene doesn’t fight, instead keeping a shield up the entire time as Maria is wailing on her, until the woman is exhausted. She tells Irene to get out of her sight and she does, and every now-and-then Maria will appear. To simultaneously check up on Irene, to attack her, and to attack Sora.

And though Irene hates Sora for stealing Roxas away, she can’t help but also be friends with him. At least... until Demyx dies. Then she snaps, claiming Maria was right all along, and goes after him- only for “Ansem” to intervene. Sora heads farther into Hollow Bastion and Maria attacks him, thus how she gets her chest scar, and Irene nearly kills “Ansem”. She was seconds away from doing it, but then the hood falls down and she can see his eyes... and realizes that he was a person just like her. Like everyone else. And if she killed him... someone who cared for him would be feeling exactly what she was.

And then “Ansem” won. Her face burned, stomach ripped open and then simultaneously healed/burned shut, he tosses a defeated Irene and Maria somewhere safe where they can talk. And then more org death happens, and the girls are depressed. Luxord was the last for Irene- she couldn’t handle anymore. She gave up and just hid in her old room, even as the castle fell apart. The previous inside her heart eventually opened a light corridor and pulled her through, saving her, and for a long time she just stayed there before accidentally wandering into Destiny Islands where she encounters Riku. Through some things Maria and Irene are able to start working together as sisters and keepers again and make a home in the Radiant Garden castle, helping the restoration committee, until DDD.

Lea is pretty much the same Axel. The personalities don’t differ that much. But Ienzo? Heck, even Irene? They’re not the same as they were. Irene is depressed, traumatized by all the events that occurred in such a short span of time. She’s still grieving. And for a man with the same face and voice as the one she had loved so wholeheartedly before, only to be so DIFFERENT, appearing before her? it hurts. And she’s conflicted. And she’s scared.

And while she wants to protect him, to keep him safe and ensure he lives this time around, she also wants to avoid him at any cost. But Ienzo loves her- he was as much as Zexion as Zexion was him. And Lea tries to help her see this, definitely not as patient as Ienzo and being far more annoyed that the tension in the room was so physically painful he wanted to rip his hair because GOD DAMN IT GIRL JUST ACCEPT HIM ALREADY. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE HIM. It isn’t until after Tangled that she does, witnessing Eugene’s death.

Also Riku feels massive guilt over killing Zexion, especially after becoming friends with Irene (poor girl unaware he was “Ansem”), and witnessing their interactions in La City de Cloches during his exam.

The songs “Haven’t Had Enough” “All to Myself” and “Who Do You Love” by Marianas Trench fit Irene/Ienzo pretty well, actually. Especially if you imagine the PoV shifting back and forth. “Soldier” is more Irene/Zexion to Irene/Ienzo, but... yeah. XD I’m weak, okay? I’m sorry. I love torturing characters.

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pikapikarawr · 4 years

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I-Land Ep 4 Thoughts

**Spoilers warning

As more episodes pass, the more I'm starting to dislike this voting system lol. At first, it was a nice idea that the I-Landers would get to pick their teammates, but now, it's just too un-objective, ugh. The original 6 I-Landers that have never left just seem to stick together, which seems increasingly unfair.

Grounders Fire Performance

They had a solid performance. I agree that they seemed to have more consistent facial expressions and feeling of the song overall. Glad that Jay brought them together and they did well! :) Everyone looked so fired up and serious. The Grounders are coming for you, I-Landers! >:)

Jay was a good center! He fit the vibe of the song really well.

Niki's facial expression was awkward during his part when he shrugs and says "gwaenchanha" (괜찮아). The first part he sang was good, but then when he said gwaenchanha, that smirk looked so awkward. I think that's the reason or part of why he didn't get picked to go up.

I’m surprised Hanbin took the vocal part (part 4) that Geonu did. He didn't seem like he's a vocal position. Mm I feel like he hit the notes and his voice was powerful enough, but the pronunciation still sounded a little off.

Voting/ Changes in Teams My prediction was right that all original grounders got voted back to ground. Poor Taeyong who got stepped on got sent back. I thought Yoonwon had decent facial expressions when I watched his fancam, so I didn't expect him to get voted off, but the I-Landers got the impression that he didn't work hard enough. Man, it must really suck being the one with 11 votes because that means everyone voted for you :(.

Sunoo got in the Top 5 and still got voted out. These people need to stop voting Sunoo out because he's just going to keep coming back lol and he deserves to be there. I kinda don't think he should debut with them anymore because wow, they do not deserve him if they keep treating him like this! lol. The same thing with Daniel haha, they both seem more cheerful and have a friendlier vibe than some of the other Islanders. I think they should just debut together with some of the other grounders at this point. Can the grounders just debut a group too? Because they’re winning my heart more than the I-Landers >_<. I think the I-Landers keep voting Sunoo out because he has a more bubbly personality and doesn't really match the others. But I think it's good to have more variety in the team and he seems like someone who could boost the mood. Maybe he rubs the I-Landers the wrong way somehow that we’re not seeing, since he keeps getting voted out even though he does well.

Such a cruel twist of fate that K used his exemption card to save Jungwon, but then caused Taki to go ground :(. K got a good edit here and we got to see his human side of feeling guilty for sending Taki to Ground, even though unintentional. I think Taki is too young, both in age and maturity to debut though. He still seems and looks like a little kid. Even though he's talented and likeable, I think the Company just sent him there to get some exposure/experience.

On a side note, I thought it was funny when "everyone" was surprised that Jungwon got voted out initially. Obviously some of you voted for him, why are you surprised?? lol probably it was the grounders that voted for him. I like Jungwon, but it would've been nice to see one of the Original 6 to go down to ground. That alliance is really becoming too powerful. And it'd be nice to see Jungwon interact with diffent people and experience the friendlier environment of Ground. I'm pretty sure he'd be able to go back up.

I was completely off on my prediction on who'd go up to I-Land lol. I was right about Jay, but wrong about everyone else.(Edit: oh I was right about Jake too haha, so 2/4 right. Better than I thought). It's hard to guess who will go up without seeing the performance though. I'm glad Jake went up and got to be reunited with Sunghoon :) and I was surprised, but happy that Youngbin went up! Glad to see him improve :). He only had 1 line again, but he always does his one line really well.

The Vocal/Dance Choreo and Reps

I'm surprised that the Grounders Dance video seemed to be made specifically for Nicholas and (kinda) Taki to be in. It's possible that someone else could do the locking part, but really no one in the show can do the bboying part except Nicholas. There's an airchair to nike part in that dance, which is probably impossible for someone with no bboying experience to learn and perfect in 5 days.. Are the producers giving Nicholas a chance because they want him in the group? So far he hasn't really stood out much. Or maybe that was like a "suggested" dance break and they can change it? haha I guess we'll see.

When Niki thought Hanbin was a better dance rep than Jaeho, omg I got so excited. I was like yes, Hanbin, show them!! I thought it was nice that he thought about Jaeho's feelings, but Niki was right that he should also consider the good of the team. I liked that Jaeho was accepting of the results and what was best for the team. He didn't take the change personally and continued to work hard. He really wanted that part.

When Zico asked who was the dance rep, Hanbin had such a big, proud smile on his face when he raised his hand. Aww he looked soo happy :)).

It would've been so hype if the Jopping team was reunited! But it seems like Hanbin originally picked to join the Vocal Team, so during the mid-evaluation, I don't think he had enough time and he hadn't memorized all the choreo yet. What a shame :(((. I hope Hanbin gets his confidence back and makes it to I-Land! He has that personality/vibe that I just want to root for >_<. I think he might get into I-Land from the global vote, I don't know if he'll make it to the final group though.

Sunoo and Daniel for the vocal reps!! I loved this team :). It was a blessing in disguise that they both got voted back to Ground. If they were in I-Land, they probably wouldn't have been able to perform because Heesung automatically takes up a vocal spot lol and Geonu has shown more of his vocal ability to the rest of I-Land, so would've been more likely to be voted over them. And like I said before, the I-Landers don't seem to appreciate them -__-".

Funny moments:

In I-Land, the 2002 team (Sunghoon, Jake, and EJ) was so cute. The caption was something like "they're not really in sync, but they're having a good time" hahah. It would've been nice if we saw a clip of them perform.

Mnet is on the Sunghoon and Jake ship, and same lol. There's a dedicated 5 min clip of them just arm wresting on Mnet's youtube channel. I really hope these 2 debut together. Sunghoon has a pretty high chance, but I'm not sure how popular Jake is / his skills, since he hasn't been a trainee for that long. He seems popular internationally, but not sure about in Korea.

*Taki thinking about doing the vocal position* Niki: “We need to do the dance position :)” hahah Niki’s so straight forward and honest xD

Rain after hearing Seon and Jaebom: “Nothing can happen to Heesung and Geonu” me: *ded*

Predictions:

Both vocal performances were solid. I don't have much to say about them and I'm not good at judging vocals. I think the I-Landers will probably win the vocals round though.

From the previews, it seems like the Grounders will win the Dance portion and maybe overall. From the demo videos, the Grounders choreo seems .. more difficult and flashy? They have the bboy part and they have the flip that Niki does. The I-Landers video didn't seem to have any stunts like that, the only part that I remember/stood out was that there was krumping. I liked K’s intro that he made for One of a Kind, that had a chill/cool vibe.

It will be interesting to see Sunghoon krump next week :0. He seems soft and his dance has been more chill/graceful from the first two performances. So we'll see how he'll pull off krumping.

After the last test (test 4), the producers will pick 3 and the I-Landers will pick 3 to go down to Ground. FINALLY a chance for some objectivity and to break the Original 6 alliance (and for Seon to go to Ground lol).

Even Seon admitted that he knows that he's probably not there because of his skill. For someone who was on Produce 101, he is doing a bad job of not being evil edited. You’d think he’d know better.. I think because he's older, he's just really desperate to debut and maybe this is one of his last chances. He's probably also not confident of his skills and thinks his skills aren't good enough, so he's been doing these kinda manipulative/sneaky things. If he worked/focused on his skills and showing a better personality more, I think it’d be harder for them to evil edit him so hard. I hope Mnet stops evil editing him tho, I feel bad for him. I read some posts that said he’s actually really nice and would make a good leader, but Mnet just hasn’t showed that on the show yet :/ so idk.

Thank you if you made it this far :)). Sorry it’s so long lol, I have no one to talk about the show in real life, so I just post all my thoughts here :x.

#i-land #iland #ep 4 #pikapikarawr #brain dump #mnet #kpop survival

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falneou17 · 4 years

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BanG Dream! Favorite List - 9

So now that Morfonica has officially been introduced into the EN server of the game, I think it is time for this list to get updated. Yes, I know I originally said that I would wait until RAS would be introduced as well, but I changed my mind. Mainly because, unlike Morfonica, we already know quite a bit about RAS from the second and third season of the anime.

Which should already hint at something, but let’s just go into the list... I should also specify that while I will not spoil anything specific about the Morfonica band story, I have read it and it has made an impact on this list...

Favorites

Yamabuki Saaya (1, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1)

Not here at the start, however. The start is still the same as always, as a certain vocalist would say. I mean, what can I say? Saaya is awesome, and the only thing that is holding her somewhat back... well, there are two things, really; she’s relatively static and she’s in a band who... isn’t as notable for me, as should become very obvious going down this list (if it wasn’t made obvious already). Nevertheless, Saaya’s still at the very top even if I don’t talk about or write her all that often.

Aoba Moca (2, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2)

No change here, either. Moca is still the same old Moca as she’s always been. The same lovable, teasing, going-at-my-own-pace genius. It really does take something special to be mistaken as my favorite character of the franchise for so long, and Moca definitely has it. And, to be fair, Moca did steal the number one spot for a bit... it’s just that Saaya has reclaimed the throne since then.

Mitake Ran (3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3)

It would be weird if Ran’s spot wasn’t the same as it’s always been, now would it? In all seriousness, Ran may or may not have been rising in the rankings ever so slightly... mainly because of some interactions during lives that I found out she had. She’s got some pretty fun ones now that I may or may not have never heard before myself.

Satou Masuki (20, 21, 10, 9, 9, 7, 4, 4, 4)

To be fair, Masuki... hasn’t really had a chance to show up, so she hasn’t had the opportunity to show that she deserves to rise in the rankings. Considering she would have to compete with Ran for the number three slot, she probably wouldn’t be rising any time soon, but still... she’s skyrocketed this far up the list, what’s a victim or two more thanks to her rising up the list?

Hazawa Tsugumi (4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 5, 5, 5)

Speaking of victims of Masuki skyrocketing up the list in the past, hi Tsugu. Admittedly quite static, but in Tsugu’s case... why change something that is already as great as she is? Being “normal” is usually a curse in these fave lists of mine, but Tsugumi manages to be a nice contrast to her colorful friends.

Kirigaya Touko (NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, 22, 9, 6, 6)

The first of many (read: five) Morfonica girls. This should not come as much of a surprise; she was already 6th on the previous list. Now that Touko is officially in the game and I can read her band story and her card stories and all... I contemplated for a moment whether I should push Tsugumi down a spot, I really did. But... as much fun as Touko is to see on the screen, I do believe that Tsugumi deserves the higher spot. That being said, I love how Touko manages to be a mix of Lisa’s gyaru-loving self (without the issue that Lisa is facing... more on that when we get to Lisa), the teasing nature of Moca, and the going-at-my-own-pace nature of Moca as well. Definitely a fun and welcome addition to the cast, but...

Hiromachi Nanami (NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, 28, 22, 22, 7)

Talk about a jump; Nanami’s fifteen spots jump puts the eleven spots of Masuki and thirteen spots of Touko to shame. What can I say? Morfonica definitely delivered when it comes to how much I love their characters. When I first read about Nanami I thought she would be the type of girl who is just awkwardly trying to insert herself into the conversation. Now that I have access to scenes featuring her, I can see how much fun watching this little genius is. As somebody who is writing mainly Moca-focused fanfics, it’s a refreshing and amusing change of pace watching Nanami scenes. Is seventh spot a bit ambitious? Maybe. But that’s why she can always change, right?

Uehara Himari (6, 7, 8, 7, 7, 8, 7, 7, 8)

Nothing really changes for Himari, aside from the fact that Nanami now jumped up above her. I don’t like my favorite band’s leader any less; as a matter of fact, with Afterglow’s first album right around the corner... how can I not like my favorite band’s leader?

Udagawa Tomoe (8, 8, 7, 8, 8, 9, 10, 9, 9)

Ah, Tomoe... the most awkwardly ranked Afterglow girl for me. I really love Tomoe, she’s an integral part of Afterglow and her more outgoing expressive nature serves as a nice contrast to the more subdued personalities of her bandmates. But in terms of writing Tomoe it’s always super difficult to give her the best scenes to shine in because of said contrast. Either way, she definitely deserved this spot.

Shirokane Rinko (7, 6, 6, 5, 5, 6, 6, 8, 10)

...yeah, your safety net is starting to get torn. Not only with the introduction of Morfonica (and RAS in the not-too-distant future), but also... the main reasons why you’re still up here are not even necessarily tied to Rinko as a character. What’s worse, the era of Akesaka!Rinko is long gone... which makes it really challenging for me to try and incorporate her newer characterization... which means what is keeping Rinko up is the memory of Akesaka!Rinko, not Rinko herself... In other words, as much as it hurts me to say this, I’m not expecting Rinko to survive dropping significantly in the coming few lists...

Futaba Tsukushi (NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, 18, 17, 16, 11)

And here we got another rise, the “favorite of the Morfonica girls based on first impressions”. As Touko would call her: Fusuke. As I call her: the Himari of Morfonica. I don’t know if it is because Afterglow is my favorite band, but... the comparisons between Morfonica’s members and Afterglow’s members is pretty obvious. Like, Fusuke is (1) the shortest girl of her band, and is made fun of it quite a bit (by Touko, no less XD), (2) the leader of the band, and (3) she even has pigtails. I know people compared her to Arisa when she first was released, but tell me that that doesn’t sound like Himari to you. Especially since I compared Touko to Moca earlier.

Loves

Tamade Chiyu (13, 13, 16, 14, 15, 11, 11, 10, 12)

Same old song for RAS.

Asahi Rokka (12, 12, 12, 12, 11, 10, 12, 11, 13)

Same old song for RAS.

Nyubara Reona (14, 14, 14, 15, 16, 15, 13, 12, 14)

Same old song for RAS. Although, and I think I mentioned this in the previous list, I know the cards she will get. And without spoilering any of them, let’s just say that they are very colorful and I think that Reona definitely delivers when it comes to card art.

Kurata Mashiro (NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, 21, 16, 15, 15)

Mashiron! Or Shiro! Or however you want to call her! I like to call her “adorable”, because that’s what she is; she’s adorable. I knew that you were the shy-type, but I honestly didn’t think I would continue to like you as much as I do considering how much of a shy-type you are. Honestly, you make Rinko look like the most confident girl in the franchise in comparison. But you’re great. You got a great singing voice and a lot of potential and I look forward to see how you will grow over the years.

Maruyama Aya (9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 12, 14, 13, 16)

Nothing has changed about you, for better or for worse. Except the fact that a couple girls shot past you, but that’s beside the point and not at all this girl’s fault. I think Aya still has a lot of potential, but I don’t feel like I have seen enough of it to justify moving her around the list. The fact that she is still up here should signify that she’s definitely still a very good character.

On a side note: my girlfriend wanted to remind me that she still likes Aya, so I guess that’s reason enough for Aya to not drop more than she has? And she technically hasn’t even dropped; Morfonica just jumped...

Wakamiya Eve (11, 10, 11, 13, 12, 14, 15, 14, 17)

Pretty much exactly the same as Aya above you. It becomes harder and harder to think of things to write for characters who don’t move much on the list over the many lists I make.

Likes

Wakana Rei (25, 20, 15, 11, 13, 13, 18, 18, 18)

Same old song for RAS.

Yashio Rui (NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, 24, 29, 29, 19)

Okay, Rui here is an interesting character. For many reasons. I really like what she has going for her; her characterization, her motivation, her emotions (or lack thereof). Just like how Tomoe’s super expressive and outgoing personality contrasts nicely with the more subdued personalities of the rest of Afterglow, Rui’s stoic personality is a nice balance to the high emotional levels (...with the possible exception of Nanami) of Morfonica. That being said, whether Rui doesn’t show or doesn’t feel any emotions is a different thing, and depending on what it is will strongly influence how easy it will be to try and write her.

Shirasagi Chisato (22, 22, 22, 21, 22, 27, 26, 19, 20)

Again, nothing much I can say about you... this list is about Morfonica, mostly... though I will say that I’ve been seeing a lot of good Chisato art as of late.

Hikawa Sayo (17, 16, 18, 18, 17, 17, 19, 20, 21)

Again, nothing much I can say about you other than that being in the band that you are really hurts you...

Okusawa Misaki (10, 11, 13, 16, 14, 16, 20, 21, 22)

Again, nothing much I can say about you other than that being in the band that you are really hurts you...

Imai Lisa (5, 5, 5, 6, 6, 5, 8, 17, 23)

Again, nothing much I can--okay, fine, I will talk about you. In a bubble, I admit that you are a great character. I like Lisa, I like most of her relationships with the other girls and I like her bright and upbeat attitude, especially considering which band she is in. However... what I really despise about Lisa is that she reminds me of a character who I don’t even want to name anymore, and as Kaoru can attest to... that’s not a very good thing to say the least... so down the list you go...

Ichigaya Arisa (15, 17, 17, 17, 18, 19, 21, 23, 24)

I considered putting Arisa above Lisa (or, better phrased, Lisa below Arisa), but... I don’t think that’s fair. I think that, despite Lisa’s shortcomings, I definitely still like Lisa more. That being said, I’ve seen a fun new art of an Arisa card in the future that I will definitely be keeping my eye on.

Toyama Kasumi (26, 24, 23, 22, 21, 25, 23, 24, 25)

You know what’s the saddest part about Kasumi? I think I would like her a lot more if she was not pushed to be the protagonist of the franchise. Yes, I know that somebody has to do it, but... Kasumi has a lot going for her. A lot going for her that ended up being pushed under the rug. I mean, for one, Kasumi got an incredible singing voice that doesn’t get to shine as much as it possibly could because she needs to fill the role of “face of the franchise”.

Above neutral

Hikawa Hina (24, 23, 25, 25, 24, 29, 30, 28, 26)

Talking about why I like Hina is kind of funny, but... as I said in the last post, I started playing Genshin Impact a little while back and my main character is Xiangling (a character voiced by the same person who voiced Hina). So by liking Xiangling more in Genshin I started liking Hina more in Bandori. That’s it. That’s my reasoning for putting Hina above Maya. Because Hina is Xiangling and Xiangling is awesome.

Tsurumaki Kokoro (16, 15, 19, 19, 20, 20, 24, 25, 27)

Ah, Kokoron. You mean well and you’re definitely much deeper of a character than a lot of people might think you are. Unfortunately, the happy happy type songs aren’t my type of songs and, as I have said many times, Kokoro is a nightmare to depict in writing.

Matsubara Kanon (23, 25, 24, 24, 23, 26, 28, 26, 28)

Kanon is great. ...yeah, that’s all I have. Sorry, Kanon, but trying to find new things to talk about when nothing too significant has happened is pretty challenging... I still don’t feel like Kanon has surpassed Kokoro, either, but... it’s definitely getting closer and closer.

Yamato Maya (27, 26, 26, 27, 27, 31, 27, 27, 29)

Maya didn’t drop; I just decided I like Hina more. I still like Maya, I think Maya can offer a lot of potential. But it’s probably already a bit late for me to start diving into said potential, huh?

Kitazawa Hagumi (29, 29, 29, 28, 29, 33, 33, 31, 30)

And there we go, Hagumi surpassed Afterglow’s drummer’s younger sister. Why? Because, well...

Neutral

Udagawa Ako (19, 18, 20, 20, 19, 23, 25, 30, 31)

Being in Roselia is really detrimental for you, huh Ako? What’s worse, her one and only niche of being a gamer has effectively been taken away from her as Shining Sunlight proved I can do a gaming-focused plot without Ako and it works well enough. So far, anyway.

Hanazono Tae (18, 19, 21, 23, 26, 30, 32, 32)

The same as always for this girl, and unlike the girls at the top I am begging Bushiroad to do something that would help her climb up the rankings again. Because Tae is likeable and a nice character... she just doesn’t stand out enough for me...

Ushigome Rimi (28, 28, 27, 26, 28, 32, 32, 33, 33)

And the same holds true for Rimi. At least Rimi got some cool calls in lives, but... that’s not enough... that really isn’t enough...

Below neutral

Seta Kaoru (VB, VB, VB, VB, VB, VB, VB, 34, 34)

I will admit this: the fact that another character has taken your place on the very bottom of the list definitely helped make me dislike you less over the months. And I will also admit that you have some niche potential, especially since my earlier first impression of Rui being like you seems to be false (for better or for worse). Will I take you up to take advantage of that? Probably not... but fair is fair: I know the possibility is there so I figured I might as well acknowledge the fact that I know of the possibility.

And that’s all the characters, right? I definitely didn’t miss anyone, or at least I don’t think so. Eh, if I did then she probably isn’t important enough for me to mention.

#BanG Dream! Fave List #Falneou17

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seb-owns-these-tatas · 5 years

Text

Fix (TJ Hammond) (Pt. 1)

Characters: Sub!Bi!TJ Hammond x You

Summary: You've went home and was welcomed by a very high TJ who was clean for a year since you've been together. Your boy even did something wrong, resulting to you in reacting very hostile and leading to a hot night considering that he needed to learn his lessons for disobeying you.

Warning: This part has no smut, so you're good to go. Except there's a hint of a Sub/Dom relationship, and there's drugs involve. Plus, some soft, crying Tj for everyone. Oh, and cusses. :)

Words: 4,000+ It’s quite long. (But I think the smut is longer? Hehehehe)

A/N: This is suitable for everybody. The next part won't be. *wink wonk* I've poured my heart in this! LOL. So, FEEDBACKS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! THANK YOU MA'AM AND SIR'S! LOL XD Y’all are prolly quaking because of the word SUB! *wink wink nudge nudge* PART 2 IS SMUT, OKAY? LET YOUR HEART BE STILL WITH THE GIFS ALRIGHT? IT AIN’T FROM MOI! Just took them in google! CREDITS TO THE CREATORS!

Disclaimer: GIF'S and PNG'S aren't mine, however the whole one shot and edit are rightfully mine to begin with.

Dedicated: @caps-boo-bear (I couldn’t tag you bud? Maybe your account is prohibited from tagging in posts?) @angel-of-hell-cece1967

Every step you took was such a pain in the ass. How you sluggishly walk made every person know not to dare bump on you. The boots you've picked for the day had a defectability that gave your feet blisters which resulted as to why you were walking like the heavens were weighing down on you.

You've met Mrs. Bell on the way to your apartment. She was a very nice old lady who have been giving you free viands and pastries whenever there was any extra that could go to waste. Her husband was the only companion she has that lives in their apartment, and their relationship was darn cute. They've been together for 60 years, and you ought to have that kind of relationship. Mrs. Bell kind of reminded you of TJ's nana, Margaret.

Will that be possible to happen with TJ? It was a question that nobody could ever answer except from God. Even though you were there to keep him steady, you knew how rickety he can get sometimes. The thought of him going back to who he was before was making you worry, scared that after a year of being clean..His addiction would suddenly come around.

"TJ's been awfully quiet today," Mrs. Bell spoke, her voice frail and shaky. You met her on your way up, seeing her once the elevator door pulled open. She lost her chance of transport as her grey eyes watched the elevators close just to tell you news about TJ since you've asked her to check how he was from time to time, especially since you've had your girls night out with your friends, making you a little intoxicated as you went home. You were quite tipsy but not tipsy enough to fall on the ground and swim in your own vomit. You drank moderately and responsively tonight.

The lollipop in your mouth was flavorful. Tangerine taste sipping on your taste buds. You've missed the confectionery since years and you decided it was time to finally satisfy your cravings.

You sucked on your lollipop before taking it out of your mouth with a pop, licking your lips and giving Mrs. Bell a nervous smile, "Did he went out or something, Ma'am?" You could sense something was wrong with how she worded everything, yet you wanted to believe he didn't. He wouldn't because he promised.

The sweet old lady took seconds before she gave a shaky nod, "Yes, I think my husband saw him went out for an hour..then came back looking bothered,"

Your heart skipped a beat, anxiousness began surging through every vein in your heart. He wouldn't, right? You gave a weak nod at Mrs. Bell, helping her wait to get a lift and assisting her till she could enter the elevator before dismissing her with a kiss on the cheek.

The walk to your apartment made your nerves go berserk, every step was shaking your hopes, wishing that nothing happened to your Tj. Once the door opened, the lights to the living room was off, you've flicked the switch on and expected him to come out of the shadows and surprise you yet there was still no Thomas.

"Teej?" Your voice echoed through the hallway before your feet brought you to your kitchen. A half emptied bottle of water was on top of the kitchen counter, and you sighed. Relieved that you saw no beers, not even a single trace of alcohol. Well, that's because you took all the alcohol away when TJ decided to get help. You wanted nothing more than TJ to be happy, and for him to be healed..Mentally and emotionally.

You had always been TJ's strong tower, been there for him no matter how fucked up he was. You still accepted his flaws and him, himself. Your baby boy has been your life and breath. You loved him with all your heart, and you won't ever hesitate on taking care of him even when he was broken.

The lights to your room were on. So, you paraded towards yours and TJ's room. Never even knocking because you wanted to surprise him, but turns out it was you who was surprised by your boyfriend.

TJ was sprawled on your bed, his necklace that you've given as a present for his birthday was dangling around his neck. He was in his clothing alright, but without a shirt on. His eyes were closed as an arm was around his eyes, looking deep in thought. You guessed he was sleeping, yet when he heard someone open the door to your room, his head instantly perked up to see who it was.

It took seconds for Tj to realize who it was. That dazed, lightheaded look in his eyes made your nerves go tense. When he was sure it's you, he languidly sat up. Blinking slower than usual as he set his eyes on you, a discomposed smile and his eyes having this glassy twinkle that could make you want to coddle him up all night.

Yet, there was something in those look of his that you couldn't decipher.

"Y/N?"

You sweetly smiled at him, strolling towards your baby boy sitting on your bed, waiting to be cuddled. How could you not snuggle him right now when he looked so soft and vulnerable?

"Hi, Love! You alright?" You sat beside him, immediately wrapping your arms around him and he was quick to take the chance to snuggle you up, his fluffy head now on your chest. Your nails gently scratching his back.

"I'm fine..just fine," He mumbled quietly. His fingers nonchalantly playing with the hem of your shirt. There was something wrong with him, you thought as you felt him hotter beneath your palm, hotter than his usual body heat. However, you tried to shut those thoughts first, just loving the comfort and embrace that you were both in.

"You don't sound fine," Your hands traveled towards his soft, fluffy hair. Giving his scalp soft scratches and Tj couldn't help but moan very audibly. "My baby boy looks so...so...tired," Dazed and lightheaded was what you wanted to say, but you didn't want him to think you were doubting him into getting drugged again. He wouldn't right? Your heart kept on pounding on that thought.

"Mmm," He hummed in agreement, slipping his hand inside your shirt, softly caressing the skin of your soft stomach. You were used to Tj being handsy, he always was with you every minute of the day. Finding assurance that you were there and that you weren't just a part of his imagination. Making sure that you were there and you stayed. "I missed you,"

"Well, I missed you more. Have you been a good boy while I wasn't around?" There was a second of quietness except from the tiny suckling sounds you make from your lollipop. You hoped he would answer back but he didn't. You checked if he fell asleep yet he was wide awake.

His quietness answered the questions floating inside your head. He seemed to be guilty of doing something that wasn't right.

Your guesses were right all along.

"Thomas," You took the lollipop out of your mouth and addressed him seriously, unwrapping your arms and cutting your embrace. Looking up at his diluted cerulean eyes. Why have you just realized that now? He was definitely drugged and high. You took his face in your hands, setting his eyes on you and a pang of disappointment rushed through your veins. The way the pupils of his eyes were more diluted than usual, eyes glassier and high. What did he even take?

You stood up from the bed, disappointment running in your features. Tj was already a year clean, already starting to change his addiction. Yet, with what happened tonight seemed like he chose to go back from where he used to be. His family would definitely be mad at you for not keeping a close eye on him. "I just went out for a while and now you're high?! What were you even thinking?!" You exclaimed rather furiously.

"I wasn't thinking anything," He deadpanned, shrugging his broad shoulders in attempt to shake off the anxiety creeping. "It just kinda happened,"

Once he saw the intense glare that never failed to falter, his emotions shifted in one snap. What was he saying? Did he disappoint you? The person he loved the most and the only person who continued trusting in him?

Tj's intense, still gorgeous as fuck, glassy eyes peered at you, a look that appeared like he was a kicked puppy and you wanted nothing more than not to be mad at him because you knew how hurt he gets when you're angry. He was immediately on his foot, trotting till he towered and stood in front of you. His half naked fit body gloriously giving you a warm welcome and it surely distracted your maddened state.

God, his abs. Your slightly drunken state thought mentally, giving his body a once over before focusing on his gorgeous orbs again. His lower lip seemed to tremble, "I-I just needed a fix!" He reasoned back, biting his lower lip as he fought a frown, but his eyebrows tell otherwise. He knew you were already disappointed in him, and he didn't like the thought of it.

Your sly, sneaky eyes couldn't help but scan the indents of his hipbone and it made you emit a groan because of how you were thinking in between your pants in a very serious moment that should be taken importantly. Your forehead furrowed in return to his reasons, "You what?!"

"I just needed a fix!" He repeated more clearer, eyeing your face with an obvious frown. "Did something happened, Tj?" You asked more calmly now, the anger slowly subsiding as you saw the pained look he was giving you and it hurt your heart.

He was already in too much pain, and you didn't want him to experience and feel more by being mad at him. You just needed to understand him and why he did it.

"S-Sean," Tj croaked a little more quietly, voice breaking and sounding more vulnerable. The anger that once left you suddenly came back in a hot second just because of one mention of that fucker's name. Sean Reeves, an idiotic man who broke your Tj's heart, torn it into pieces and left Tj feeling shit about himself, that he wasn't someone important made him trigger to go suicidal.

"What.about.him," Y/N gritted in between her teeth, jaw clenching from the irritation she felt from hearing his name. God, it was even nauseating to hear. "I've went to The Dome, updated on things then saw him there," You hummed in understanding, nodding at the same time. His gaze kept on shifting from your face then on the ground, trying to find the exact words as he recollected what happened earlier. Tj looked as if his mind was swirling, kept on jumping from one scene to another from the way his brows furrowed.

"Man..Was I stupid to give him my time," He shook his head to himself, a disgruntled chuckle leaving his plump, red lips--Lips that have been red and swollen from biting it too hard. "He tried coming back, kept on saying things that I wanted to hear from him when we were still together. But, he's too late. Sean tried to fix something that was already been fixed," You saw his miserable baby blues intensely staring at you, eyes turning more diluted and glassy. Beneath those were pent up emotions that you've vulnerably seen. Emotions that held sadness, anger, and brokenness.

There was a pause. He was having an internal debate with himself. Debating whether he needed to even tell it to you. After moments of waiting for him to finish as you stood patiently, desperately wanting to hug him when you saw how your Tj's close to crying.

He finally decided and he was sure to tell you the truth because that's one rule you've both agreed to. It's to be honest with each other and never keep secrets. "He even played dirty because he tried kissing me, Y/N--he did. He did kiss me," His voice croaked like it was difficult for him to say.

Thus, his honesty felt like a cold bucket of ice was thrown on top of her head. That asshole kissed him. Y/N couldn't help but roughly draw crescents on her palms, nails digging deep indenting crescent shapes that could explain the betrayal she felt.

But, it wasn't Tj who did the first move. You debated with that tiny voice inside your head. Y/N was having her inner monologue when the drugs in Tj's system was growing more intense as time goes by. He felt the need to touch you, to be close with you and he didn't hesitate to step close. Holding your tightened hands with his, soothingly pressing his hands with yours.

"I didn't kiss him back if that will make you feel better," He coyly said, looking deep within your furrowed forehead and angered eyes.

Tj couldn't help but gaze down on your lips. His mind completely elsewhere, wanting nothing more than to kiss and bite those lips, stick his naughty tongue inside your warm mouth. He was beginning to feel the side effects of the Ecstacy he took. Those two pills of Ecstacy were the last, and he didn't hesitate to take them all.

His warm, sneaky hands were slowly caressing your hands, trailing up to your arms in a lethargic manner. Sending heat to your warm core. The way his eyes look was making you all fuzzy inside, sending fiery warmth to pool below your stomach.

"That didn't change the fact that you two kissed and you're damn stoned again, Tj! Why did you even think about getting high?" Y/N forcefully unlatched his hands that were sensually caressing her feeble arms.

She could basically hear him whimper when she turned in her heels, walking away from Tj and aiming out of the room, as far as Tj wasn't around because whenever she sees his face. It's either she feels mad or feels the want to let him eat her and delightedly punish him for making a mistake. God, her thoughts are getting way out of hand. Was it the alcohol consuming her?

You thought you would be out of reach by your boyfriend, turns out he followed you like a lost puppy and with a want to oblige and genuinely follow all of your erotic punishments in mind. Tj was in for a mission, a mission to do all of those dirty thoughts you had in mind. He wanted nothing more than to be close to you as of the moment.

"Y/N! Talk to me!" You both stopped in your kitchen, it wasn't entirely the best place to have a conversation when you're mad. You were loudly sucking your lollipop in frustration, and you turned in your heels. Giving him a whiplash of your frustrated anger. Was it frustration out of anger? Or out of other..things?

You pulled the lollipop out of your mouth, using that hand to point at your gorgeously half-naked boyfriend giving you the googly, tantalizing eyes, standing tall before you, a pained expression in those baby blues of his. He wanted nothing more than for you to not be mad at him. Tj was already regretting why he let Sean kiss him when he knew to himself that he didn't have any feelings for him anymore. "You don't get to talk, Thomas!"

You stood on your ground, eyes giving a heated glare on your puppy eyed Hammond. It was making your toes curl inside your aching boots, the look on his face was making it difficult for you to continuously get mad at him, "Does he still affect you?" You whispered harshly through gritted teeth. Your damn mind assuming to think he still has feelings for that idiot and those assumptions couldn't help but send a sting to your big heart.

You loved Tj more than anything in this world, he was a broken soul and you decided he needed all the love in this world. Preferably a love that came from you and his family. Having to think that Tj still has feelings for Sean was hurting you, "Do you still love him, Tj? Do you?!"

Tj's baby blue eyes turned cerulean from your admittance. He chewed his bottom lip, staring straight into your fragile soul beneath your eyes. Thump, he heard. Then, another loud, ear-wrecking thump. The way his heart was beating isn't the same way as he felt for Sean, that particular beat of his heart was only for you, a melody made for you and he could feel his heart screaming for your name.

You were special, but Sean was not. He have loved that man, yet he loved you more than he loved him if that was even possible.

"No, I don't!" He debated, largely puffing out breaths through his mouth out of frustration. You needed to repeat your question because you were contemplating whether he was telling the truth or not. "You don't?! Really, Tj?! Then why the fuck do you sound like you do?!"

Tj was getting agitated, his truthful words ignored by your stubborn mindset. He was telling the honest truth, yet you couldn't believe him and it was making him demonstrative. The drugs in his system turning him more emotional when his eyes turned glassier due to fact that he wanted to cry out the frustrations and the painful feeling that you didn't trust and believe him enough.

You were just like his family. Everyone appears to have a difficult time to trust in him, he thought you were going to be an exception, he thought you could trust him enough more than how his family does, "I-I really don't! I don't! Not anymore!" He stuttered, and poked the inside of his cheeks with his tongue, tears threatening to form in his cerulean eyes that were turning reddish with every forcible word that he wanted to say.

"You're the one I love, Y/N. You're the only girl I loved, I-I never thought I would be in love with a woman, ever. Then, you came along,"

"--You showed me how it feels to be loved, completely loved that you gladly accepted my fucking imperfections and my damn complicated sexuality," You heard his voice break and with that, you knew your baby boy was beginning to slowly break. You felt your heart shatter when he tried hard to talk through out his mental breakdown, "--how to be trusted enough with their life. But, why the fuck do you sound like you don't trust me enough? why don't you trust the words I say, Y/N?"

Your eyes were tempted to jump out of your eye sockets when he desperately took your face in his hands, forcing you to look into his cerulean, glassy eyes. An obvious frown on as he was turning to look miserable. Manipulating thoughts forming in his head, Didn't you love him anymore? Were you just like Sean? Did you love him because you needed something from his family's reputation? This was why Tj never wanted to love again, he was scared that he would fall deeper than he intended to, and unfortunately..he did.

"Tell me you trust me!" He rasped and pleaded desperately, his lower lip pouting when you kept staring at him with that shocked look in your eyes, "Tell me you love me, Y/N. You do right? You do love me? These...These thoughts inside my head," He choked, sniffing to himself.

"T-They aren't real, right? They aren't true?" You could feel his hand shake, his hands that were still on your neck, holding your jaw to look at him in the eye. He was breaking, and he did even more when you heard him emit a whimper. His tears began to fall, like a water hose without no gardener holding onto it. It was more painful to think if you didn't actually love him, more than how Sean hurt him, yours were more painful if it was all true. Just thinking about it was making Tj break down miserably, "T-Tell me you love me, Y/N! Tell me you love me because I do!"

He sobbed and sobbed a little louder and that made your heart cry. You couldn't take it anymore, you couldn't get mad at him when he was acting like that, all miserable and broken. He didn't deserve to cry. Not anymore. "Tj," You croaked out loud, eyes feeling hotter than the usual. You were quick to wrap him in a hug, tucking his head in between your neck as you coddled your crying, miserable baby boy. "I love you, Tj. I do, I love you so much, I trust in you too, okay? Don't you ever forget that, Baby." You gently raked your hand in his soft, fluffy hair. Trailing behind his bare back. You could feel yourself choke in your own anger, it was slowly subsiding, turning into dust.

"Tell me you love me, please..tell me you love me back, Y/N...Tell me you aren't grossed out, tell me it isn't just sex. I love you, I love you so much,"

Tj kept repeating his words in despair, he kept whispering that he loves you and that you were the only one in his life. You believed him, your stubborn mind believed him now. "It's love, baby. It's love. I love you,"

Only one hug from you made those horrible thoughts go away as every minute passed by, his whimpers and cries were long gone. However, you still had him in your arms, gently raking your nails on his back. You could hear his sniffles. He feels so small in your arms and you couldn't help but cuddle him more. "Baby boy's all good? Now that you know I really do love you? And that I trust you very much? I wouldn't have been in a relationship with you if I didn't, Thomas."

"--Trust comes with love, and I love you very very much. This means that I trust you either," You gently patted his warm, smooth, broad back. Whispering loving words against his ear, "I just don't want you going back to the life you were used to, I don't want you to get caught up in your drug addictions again, Teej."

GO SCREAM YOUR HEARTS OUT WITH FEEDBACKS! YAAAY! Second part’s (WITH THE FILTHY SCHMUT) going to be posted after half an hour or so! GIVE ME SOME LOVEEEEE PLEASE?

XOXO,

TATA

150 notes · View notes

bakudekuficlibrary · 5 years

Note

Hey, do you have any fics where Deku calms Bakugo down from a panic attack or some sort of anger episode? Or vise versa?

I payed more attention to fics that focused solely on the requested idea or had multiple scenes of it. (and boy was there a decent amount!) If you know of longer fics that include this idea (even if it’s your own XD) feel free to reblog or reply with them so people can find them in the notes c:

-Jay

30 Works.

Dark Side of the Sun by Synnie( T | 51,597 | 20/20 )

Staying up too late playing video games, Kirishima wasn’t expecting to get an urgent call begging for help. Next thing he knew, he was letting his classmate Izuku Midoriya take refuge in his apartment - without consulting his always angry roommate.

SeriesPart 1 of Dark Side of Space

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Past Abuse | Self-Harm]

Can We Not? by vulcanhighblood( T | 32,740+ | 17/? )

Journalist Midoriya Izuku stumbles across Ground Zero brutalizing a vending machine. Unfortunately, he can’t just walk away from a Pro Hero in dire need of caffeine. So when a hero on the brink shakes him down for coffee, only to offer a coffee date in return…? Well, he doesn’t refuse. (He does, however, get said hero’s number, and ends up spending a lot more time with him than could have been predicted based on that first encounter.)

Grief Counseling by Merrywetherweather( E | 48,279 | 19/19 )

Katsuki remembered the first time he had failed to save someone, watched helplessly in horror as an elderly man had been crushed beneath the girth of a thrown car. He had already propelled himself forward to grab a small boy when he noticed, too late, the car fly by overhead. Two other heroes had been on the scene at the time and had assured him.

There was nothing that could have been done.

Most of class 1-A had already gone through a similar experience. The only one left with a clean track record in the rescue department had been Deku.

Well, except for today.

A slowburn fic where Kacchan tries to convince Deku to take advantage of the grief counseling provided for free to heroes experiencing their first failed rescues. Lots of flirting. Healing their relationship comes first. The romantic bit where they fall helplessly and stupidly in love comes after.

[PSTD | Panic Attacks]

Dream Sweet in Sea Major by showtiime ( M | 122,562 | 22/22 )

The day of the Hero Incident ends much more horribly than anyone could’ve imagined, but only Izuku knows that. He thinks as long as he forces himself to push through it that he can get over it, but of course, that’s not how things go. His mom, friends, teachers, and even his childhood friend-turned-rival take note of his odd behavior and try to help, but he refuses to talk about what really happened. How long and how thin will Bakugou’s patience go until Izuku finally confides and accepts the help he needs?

(in this fic, Shigaraki takes more from Izuku than he should’ve, Katsuki comes with the class that day at the mall, and there are still finals to be taken. Plenty can happen in only five to six weeks.)

(playlist)

Paper Moons and Glass Stars by Soundsoftherain( M | 82,948 | 18/18 )

The last time Katsuki had seen that mess of green hair had been during the summer after their first year of middle school, a boy sculpted from the purest sunlight sadly waving goodbye as he moved away.

That had been seven years ago.

Now that mop of wild curls was straddling his lap while scantily clad in black, leaving little to the imagination. The shy boy he once knew was now the star of Paper Moon, a strip club he’d been unwillingly dragged to by his friends. But through the muffled music one thought overwhelmed the raging whirlpool of his mind.

…What the actual fuck?

SeriesPart 1 of Glass Stars

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Panic Attacks | Stalking]

be loved by bonnia( T | 5,403 | 1/1 )

They sit there, in the darkness of the common room, about a few centimeters between them, but miles apart. Somehow, the quiet is companionable. More than it has been in many years. Katsuki knows he’s responsible for the rift between them, and he knows even more that it can’t only be Deku who attempts to mend it.

“Hey,” he says, after a while, and Deku turns to him in question, but Katsuki refuses to look his way. “Touch me again.”

(or: the kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands)

[Panic Attacks | PTSD]

2,645 Miles by mynameis152( E | 131,839 | 38/38 )

Izuku wants so badly to get to the other side of the country without his parents realizing he’s missing. He just wants to find out who he is.

Katsuki is desperate to make it to Los Angeles without being caught by the police, desperate to fix his mistakes.

Neither know what to expect, but on a roadtrip across the U.S. involving four fugitives, two oblivious runaways, a high risk crime ring, and a police taskforce, the two will discover that there’s more in store for them than what they originally thought.

SeriesPart 1 of Guide Me Home To You

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Panic Attacks | Attempted Sexual Assault]

As One by semiautomatichearts( G | 2,508 | 1/1 )

Katsuki knows Izuku as he knows himself, as he knows the worn pages of a treasured book, the creases within his own hand.

He sees when something is wrong, and reaches across abyssal expanses, past the maw of his own pride, and he heals.

[Panic Attacks]

What’s up danger by The_Crafty_Cracker( M | 2,220 | 1/1 )

Because apparently,The fic where Deku punches a bigoted entailed asshole Alpha in the face wasn’t an appropriate title.

Poor Katsuki has his handful with his mate nearly getting arrested, again!

P.S there is also a joke about a quiche.

Super Mario Maker by Pop_Rocks (v_love)( E | 3,734 | 1/1 )

Midoriya is smart, and a nerd, meaning that when the entire class decided to take on the aspect of buying Super Mario Maker for the collection of games in the common area that he became sort of a living legend when it came to designing the levels.

Some were just joyous well designed little prank-type levels, others were difficult — but not impossible — and the rest? Well, those were impossible.

For all but one.

His Kacchan.

————

In which Bakugou rages.

SeriesPart 4 of Kacchan and Deku’s Shenanigans

Out Of Darkness by Arrival_Of_Dawn ( M | 78,364+ | 18/? )

Izuku Midoriya is legally dead for forty two minutes at the hands of a new villain, Nightmare. They are the longest forty two minutes as Izuku finds himself trapped in his own personal hell. He may have come back from nightmare induced death, but that does not mean the nightmares are gone. They haunt him at any given moment and neither he nor anyone else knows how to save him.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Panic Attacks]

Twenty-Four by SharkbaitSekki( T | 15,874 | 1/1 )

Izuku gets himself kidnapped, and Katsuki is dragged into it with him as they face villains with particularly terrifying illusion Quirks.

It ends up being a living nightmare, but Katsuki can’t bring himself to regret following Izuku into it all. Because between the pain and the terror, between the lies and the illusions, between life and death, at least they can always hang onto one another. Even if everything else is fake, they know that they will always be real.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Chapter 26 of an entire month for the broccoli boy and the shouty boy by Kasplode( T | 23,200 | 30/30 )

Acute fear pollutes his body, concentration increasing exponentially with each shallow inhale he breathes.

Deku, standing just in front of him, knocks at the familiar door to Midoriya Inko’s apartment.

They’re having dinner with her tonight. Introducing Katsuki as Deku’s boyfriend.

[Panic Attacks]

Someone to Stay by Maru_Chan( M | 5,462 | 1/1 )

He hears Izuku’s jeering laughter again and even when he can’t see him any longer, his last words ring loud on Katsuki’s ears, heavy and final like a sentence.

“Goodbye Kacchan, maybe you can try again in your next life”

And then everything is dark again.

It’s dark, he’s cold, he’s numb and he’s alone.

And it’s everything he deserves.

[Panic Attacks | PTSD]

saltwater fears & saltwater tears by writedeku( T | 4,540 | 1/1 )

It’s not that Katsuki hasn’t hurt people before, but this is the first time he’s seen something so irrevocable. So tangible. Izuku will look back, ten, twenty years from now, and he’d still see the scar in the mirror, and still be a scared little boy in pain all over again, crying in the hallways.

(The middle is a time that makes Katsuki feel proud and ashamed, all at once.)

SeriesPart 3 of the saltwater saga

[Bullying | Past Abuse | Panic Attacks]

What’s Mine But Only You Can Have? by masteremeraldholder

( T | 9,480 | 1/1 )

“What’s mine… but only you can have?”

Deku’s face softens, his eyes wide, mouth a little ‘o’. Baku’s stomach turns, maybe he shouldn’t have said it, maybe he should’ve listened to the quirk-stealers and kept his fucking mouth shut, but he knows that he couldn’t have even if he tried.

He’ll never get tired of Deku and his annoying antics, his patient nature, his shit ton of freckles, and if that’s what it means to love someone, then he’s gladly in it with Deku.

SeriesPart 2 of Schizophrenic Bakugou

[Panic Attacks | Self-Harm | Ableism]

Words to Never Say by InkspillsNotebook( T | 2,586 | 1/1 )

Regardless of how much time has passed, Izuku is still unable to hear those words without fearing that he’s lost the most important person in his life.

SeriesPart 7 of Drabble Expansion Pack

[Panic Attacks]

[Abandoned] Chapter 4 of Angry Kids by MrJokerBoy( T | 9,251 | 12/? )

Deku has a nervous breakdown and here comes Kacchan to the rescue

[Panic Attacks]

Chapter 1 of Things You Said: Bakugou/Midoriya by AutisticWriter( T | 3,100 | 2/2 )

A collection of one shots written for a prompt list.

[Self-Harm | Ableism | Transphobia]

{Curator’s Note: This chapter depicts Bakugou assisting Midoriya through a meltdown, not an anger episode or panic attack.}

A Classical Storm by oceanswrath( T | 1,400 | 1/1 )

In that moment only the two of them existed, a force to be reckoned with greater than the storm raging outside.

[Panic Attacks]

The Bonds that bind by EloFromMars( E | 2,818 | 1/1 )

Izuku is excited, tonight is their anniversary. He had planned everything. Or so he thought.

[PTSD | Panic Attacks]

Only Us by yoichipines( T | 3,105 | 1/1 )

“What if it’s you, and what if it’s me and what if that’s all that we needed to be and the rest of the world falls away…what do you say?”

A Katsudeku fanfic very much inspired by ‘Only Us’ by Laura Dreyfuss and Ben Platt? Sign me tf up!

[Panic Attacks]

No Matter What by Empress Explosion Murder (LdyFcknNoir)( M | 4,393 | 1/1 )

BNHA Angst Week Day Seven: Roses/Time

-or-

“I-I’ve failed you… He escaped.” Katsuki rasped out.

Any remaining strength in Izuku’s body fled, and he melted to the ground on legs that were no longer able to hold him up. His body began to tremble violently, his teeth cracking together with the force of his shaking. Black edged around his vision as he couldn’t pull any oxygen into his lungs, air rent from his lungs completely with just five words.

SeriesPart 7 of BNHA Angst Week

[Past Rape/Non-con | Panic Attacks]

Yeah I’ve Got Issues by Abitginger( T | 2,782 | 1/1 )

One-shot written for BakuDeku month of wonder, day 2:festival/apology. A little late but such is life ~

Izuku and Katsuki go on an undercover mission at a festival.

[Panic Attacks]

to be made of flesh and steel by bluntforcedrama, gutsdumpster( T | 635 | 1/1 )

Bakugou learns his triggers, his tics. He’s kind of psychic actually since he tends to know when something is about to happen. Or maybe it’s Izuku’s fault for making it so glaringly obvious: he gets nervous, hands twitching more than usual as his eyes follow any sudden movement around him. Sometimes his breathing becomes labored and he swallows down more inhales than exhales and Bakugou will have to thread his fingers with Izuku’s, as if to say calm down, I’m here.

Or: Izuku is an ex-soldier struggling with the mental and physical repercussions of such heavy combat, and although Bakugou doesn’t know exactly what it’s like, he’ll still do everything he can to help.

[Panic Attacks | PTSD | Implied/Referenced Homophobia]

I know you wanna (slip under my armor) by Herbalmint( T | 3,528 | 1/1 )

Life just keeps developing new ways of beating Bakugo down. (Katsuki has a panic attack)

[Panic Attacks | Dissociation]

In Your Arms by EmbretheWorld( T | 3,771 | 2/2 )

Bakugo’s freaking out, and no one really knows what to do, but Yagi and Aizawa are really grateful that Midoriya is there. And Aizawa is really good at comforting people too.

SeriesPart 3 of You Melt My Heart

[Panic Attacks]

Chapter 2 & Chapter 7 of Standing Together (Pride Month) by EmbretheWorld( M | 17,972 | 29/29 )

This book will be filled with multiple ships that I will write and post on a daily for Pride Month. Each chapter will be based on a prompt. Hope you enjoy!

I ended this book early because I couldn’t find any motivation to write in it anymore.

SeriesPart 6 of You Melt My Heart

[Panic Attacks]

Anxiety by MistyBlueJay( T | 3,530 | 1/1 )

Izuku and Katsuki go to the mall, the Bakusquad joins them in a mini shopping trip. It’s a crowded day and Izuku falls behind, panic ensues.

[Panic Attacks]

In Weakness there is Strength by DarcyIncarnate( Not Rated | 3,011 | 1/1 )

Five times Izuku breaks and Katsuki picks up the peices, and one time Katsuki isn’t there to help.

[Panic Attacks]

623 notes · View notes

greensaplinggrace · 4 years

Note

Hello! This is kind of out there but I was wondering if you could do a post apocolypse au? With tons of Barret but not very shippy. With lots of found family though! Thanks

“I know you didn't list Barret as one of the character you write, but you also said that the list was only a sort of guideline and not actually hard rules. If that's the case could you maybe do a prompt for some Dad!Barret and Marlene fluff? Thank you 💞💕” - Anon

Filling two prompts at once here, so I hope this fits the bill for both! Also I got really into this prompt so I’m honestly probably going to continue it? If so, it’ll on ao3, but here’s what I’ve written so far. Sort of the start of the fic/a prologue. A five + 1 type premise, beginning with Tifa XD

-UPDATE! The fic is now finished - PART 2 - PART 3 - ALL PARTS ON AO3

-If you want to send in a prompt, the guidelines are HERE and HERE!

------

His daughter makes him a crown of dead flowers.

Barricaded inside of some long abandoned home, the only pieces of nature still visible are the wilted remains of a bouquet once gathered neatly in a vase. They’re faded, of course. Neglected and passed over for more urgent necessities; victims to the cruel fate of the merciless virus. Just as humans had been.

Just like every other living thing on the planet.

Yet Marlene doesn’t seem to mind. As soon as they’re both settled in for the night she takes the flowers up, small fingers clutching ever so delicately at the crumbling stems, and weaves him a crown. Kicking her feet on an old dusty couch and humming away, she even appears almost happy and content, though he knows she’s not.

He knows she’s afraid. Sees it every day in her frightened tears and hears it every night in the tiny, terrified whimpers of her nightmares.

These things - these small, innocuous pieces of joy she seems to find at the strangest of moments, are the only pieces of innocence she has left. Her only protection from the monsters inside of her head.

Barret can’t rob her of that; he never could. Even if the flowers she plays with are dead and the couch she sits on once belonged to someone else. So when she looks up at him with wide brown eyes and that big, loving smile, presenting his crown like the glittering tiara she imagines it is, he can’t do anything else but kneel to accept it.

Can’t do anything else but return the smile and play pretend, heart aching with the loss of something he knows she’ll never get back.

Sometimes, he thinks of what his life would be like without her. Thinks of the kids out on the streets and the parents he’s met along the roads. Shell shocked, blank faced victims, waiting for the infected to end it all, and he knows he’s lucky. Lucky to have her at all in this destructive world, and the loss of her innocence isn’t so horrifying in the face of her simply being here with him. Safe and cared for and alive.

Because Marlene is the only thing he has left in the world - she’s the only one who matters - and he knows he’d do just about anything to keep her safe.

More importantly, though. More than anything else. He’d do anything to keep her happy.

So he plays pretend.

He wears the crown made from dead people’s things and cooks in their kitchen. Ignores the plundered and violated remains of their home to search through his own bag for some food, and hopes that his little girl doesn’t go looking upstairs to see the empty baby’s nursery.

Dinner is small again. It’s been beans and carrots for the past week, and it’ll be beans and carrots again today. Considering their circumstances, it isn’t exactly surprising. Watching over Marlene means making certain sacrifices, and raiding the bigger places for better supplies is simply too difficult with a child in tow.

Impossibly difficult.

But it may soon be necessary, if things keep going the way they are. The thought that he might have to expose Marlene to the atrocities of their new world doesn’t sit well with him, but he might have to start doing so if he wants to keep them both alive and fed. Especially if he wants any tools of a high enough quality to maintain his arm.

Right now it works, but the thing is too slow to be useful for anything except shooting, and he relegates it to hanging limp and useless beside him on most days. Though even when his arm had been working at it’s finest, it was never useful for cooking.

Mechanized gun arms tend to be like that.

“Daddy?”

He hums, pots and pans banging, relieved when the stove starts without problem. “Yes, honey?”

“Where do you think the people who lived here moved away to?”

That warrants a glance backwards, and Barret turns to see Marlene still on the couch. She’s got a large photo album opened up on her lap now, flipping through it with a childlike curiosity. Her feet are still kicking off the edge of her seat, and after a beat of silence she looks up at him questioningly.

He pushes back the urge to snatch the book away from her - to protect her from the darkness only he can see hiding between the pages.

Alive or dead, those are happy photos. Moments of a better life and a better time, and Marlene’s touch can only make them brighter. So he leaves her to it and returns to his cooking.

“They could be anywhere,” he still tells her, hoping to give her whatever small shred of hope he can, “maybe they’re hiding somewhere safer.”

“Like a Camp?”

“Maybe.” The nearest Camp isn’t for miles, but he knows the army and fast formed neighborhood watches had been evacuating people to safe sites. A lot of those had been transformed into Camps or eventually transferred to other Camps. For anybody living near the city, it isn’t exactly a stretch to imagine.

More of a stretch than Barret can muster, though.

“What if they Clustered?” Marlene asks after a moment of thought.

Barret isn’t at all expecting the words, and he barely manages to bite back an unsavory comment upon hearing them. What Marlene refers to as Clusters, most call Mobs, and he’d rather jump off a damn cliff than ever even look at one again. He doesn’t want to scare her, though. So instead he clears his throat and focuses on making their plates to distract himself, lips tightening.

“Then at least they’d be safe,” he offers mildly.

“Well then why aren’t we in one? If it’s safe, I mean.”

“Because it’s only safe for certain people, baby.” When she opens her mouth he cuts her off, raising the plates in an apology. “You just have to trust me, okay? Let’s talk about something else.”

At her huff of reluctant acceptance he moves back to the couch, sitting close and pulling away the photo album.

He closes it and tosses it aside immediately, but in the half second his gaze finds the photos, he notices they’re all of a happy old couple. Thin and frail and paler than porcelain from a distinct lack of sun.

Dead, he realizes.

There’s no way they would have made it.

“Daddy? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, baby, I’m fine. Let’s eat, huh? We gotta finish up soon if we want you in bed on time.”

Marlene pouts at that, suitably distracted, and they both dig into their food with gusto.

Speculating about strangers will get in him nowhere, he knows. Especially when it comes to the dead ones.

There’ll be time for mourning later.

Much, much later.

So he sits and he eats and talks about ponies and princesses, the crown still adorning his head, and he doesn’t think about anything except his daughter.

Doesn’t think about a thing except how he’s going to keep her alive.

They finish their meal in record time. Soon enough, Barret is tucking a fussy Marlene into bed. She’s curled up in her cot near the living room heater, bundled beneath some extra blankets he found in the linen closet, and she’s out like a light as soon as her head hits the pillow.

Barret sits and keeps watch while she sleeps. Through the slivers of space between boards, he watches dusk pass peacefully by. The infected begin to meander away once his and Marlene’s disturbance becomes old news to them, and a silence befalls their cozy sanctuary as the sky gradually darkens.

Then shit goes horribly, explosively sideways.

It happens in the middle of the night: a deafening boom that rocks the world and instantly has Barret on high alert. The air around them erupts in a blaze of fire and screams, upper level catching like dry tinder before he can so much as blink.

Barret jumps to his feet with a yell, turning to grab Marlene as the ceiling crumbles around them. She’s glossy eyed and confused, but he doesn’t have the time to explain it to her. Doesn’t have the time to do a thing as beams pop around them, tires screeching in the near distance. Then the sound of shattering windows rends the silence of the night, a sadistic chorus of hoots and hollers following right at its heels.

The approaching thunder of footsteps is what pushes Barret into motion. Quickly, with the rise of voices goading him to move faster than he ever has before, Barret pulls their bags onto one shoulder, hefting his little girl over the other, and races to the crooked backdoor. He kicks it down amidst a cascade of red hot cinders, ducking underneath the doorway without hesitation, and looks up to see dewy grass stretching out cold and exposed before them.

Another explosion sounds out from the house, the footsteps beginning to get closer as the war cries rise, and he has no time to waste anymore - no time for second thoughts.

Barret takes Marlene and he runs.

------

After that night, their situation only gets worse. The Mob isn’t tracking Barret down, but it’s clear they’ve set up shop in the surrounding buildings and aren’t planning to move anytime soon.

As a result, Barret gives the city a wide berth. Skirting past the outermost houses and heading into the open fields, he eventually leads them into the surrounding forests. He’s hoping for some modicum of safety within the boughs, but greenery is scarce and the leaves are falling. Winter’s chill becomes more prominent with every passing night to exacerbate the issue, and it drives home their need for four walls and a roof like nothing else ever could.

Yet for now, it’s better than nothing. Better than being left so vulnerable again, defenseless in another family’s home.

The added protection of the trees brings other problems, however. They’re isolated from civilization and traders out here, with no friendly faces to be seen for miles, and the subsequent dip in their supplies is severe.

By the end of their first week camping out in the forests, Barret finds himself staring at his and Marlene’s very last can of beans, and knows without a doubt that they’ve finally hit the breaking point.

They’re going to have to go looting again if they want some food.

And it is that thought that finds Barret and Marlene outside the remains of an empty, half hidden store just a few too many paces off the main road. With not a single infected in sight, it looks like the perfect mark.

Marlene huffs into the chill beside him, breath fogging. “What if there are monsters inside?”

“Daddy will take care of them! Don’t you worry a bit about that.”

Marlene shuffles her feet and ducks her head. She has a death grip on his fingers, body closed off and fearful, and he already regrets making the decision to come out here. All around them, the silence of the abandoned store echoes with a warning.

“I’m scared,” she whispers at the ground, and Barret squeezes her hand lightly in reassurance.

“It’ll be real quick, baby, I promise,” he says, voice strong even as he eyes the flickering store lights with trepidation, “we’ve just gotta run in and out. Grab all the food we can carry and haul ass, huh?”

“But I can’t carry lots,” Marlene replies mournfully.

“That’s no problem! I’ll do most of the carrying. Your job is just to stay on my shoulder and make me feel better.”

“Like a cheerleader?”

“Exactly like a cheerleader. You’re my hype crew!”

Her giggle lights up the dark parking lot, and he kneels to give her a gentle hug. When her small hands come up to wrap around his neck he gets an arm under her, lifting her up with exaggerated force until she’s clutching at his fingers and giggling wildy.

Shifting her to his shoulder is almost easy after that. She’s distracted and pleased, beginning to hum her little happy song again as she kicks her legs in the air, and Barret hates himself for having to make it go away.

“Now you gotta hold on real tight, remember? Cause I need both hands free for this.” He looks up to see her nod and frown seriously, heart aching at the maturity in her expression.

“Okay,” she whispers, “I’ll be quiet, too.”

“Good. Just like we practiced.”

“Mhm!”

Then it’s go time.

They move towards the store slowly and enter with care. Barret’s desperate but he’s not going to act the fool. There could be any number of threats inside, and he isn’t going to risk his daughter because he acted rashly - made too much noise or stepped too loudly. Isn’t going to give the infected the satisfaction of seeing him fall.

Marlene is careful, too. She’s got a death grip on his shoulder and his hair the entire time he walks. Yet the pain is nothing compared to knowing she’s safe, so he stays silent as they creep past the threshold.

As soon as he steps foot in the building he sees the checkout. It’s right beside the door, as he’d known it would be, but it’s holding way more registers and lanes than he’d planned on seeing. Immediately, Barret takes a longer look at the aisles spreading out a fair distance in front of them, and realizes with dread that this store is a lot bigger than he’d given it credit for.

The CVS sign in the far corner blares accusingly from its place above another, smaller checkout.

Medicine is his first thought - his only thought - for a long time after seeing it. And of course it is. Medicine is indescribably valuable during catastrophes such as this. It’s priceless.

And he’s staring at a whole roomful of it.

This store hasn’t been looted, he realizes blankly, and that’s when the second thought hits. Harsh and brutal as if he’s been hit by a truck.

Threat, his mind blares, and he’s instantly tensing as he readies for a battle or a confrontation - anything.

This is no longer a simple search for remaining loot. Any Mob or Camp worth a damn would be on this shit in seconds if they knew it was here, and they wouldn’t shy away from using any means necessary to obtain the supplies.

Hell, if a Syndicate finds this place they might as well give up on life right now.

His heart skips a beat, hand coming up for just a brief moment to squeeze tightly at his little girl’s leg, and she hugs him from above. She doesn’t say anything, though. Merely patting the top of his head in an attempt at comfort.

Smart girl, he thinks, moving to grab one of the shopping carts lying about. It’s completely intact, and even the mere presence of a fully functioning shopping cart at the entrance of the store lets him know nobody has set foot in this place since shit hit the fan.

They’re loud but they’re handy, and Barret plans on filling the entire thing to brimming. With this whole basket full they’ll be able to eat well for weeks.

An insistent hand tugs at his hair. “Daddy?”

“Yeah, honey.” He begins to wheel the cart around, but Marlene’s next words stop him dead.

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” He demands, but he’s already tensing, gun charged up and free hand coming to steady his little girl.

He whirls around to face the back rooms just as she yells out a “that!”, and as if on cue a crash rings out, several voices rising in the sounds of a fight. Barret barely has the time to raise his gun and take a step back before the doors are bursting open, a long haired woman flying through to skid painfully across the white tiles.

Marlene gasps. “Daddy, it’s a girl!”

“Marlene baby, don’t-”

Then the doors burst open a second time with a reverberating thud. It’s loud enough to wake any infected in the nearby vicinity, and though Barret doesn’t hear any cries rise up from the surrounding forest, he knows it’s only a matter of time before some creature comes looking.

“Hey!” He snaps at the people coming through the doors. They’re all white men, though two are big and burly while the other is slighter, only coming up to their shoulders.

All three look pissed as hell.

“Who the hell is that?” One of them hisses, gesturing with a bloodied wooden bat in Barret’s direction, and Barret wastes no time in directing his gun straight at the man’s ugly mug.

“I’m your worst damn nightmare unless you back the fuck down, boy!” He growls menacingly, and though his chest tightens at Marlene’s fearful whimper, he doesn’t let the stony facade fade.

The smaller man scoffs. “You and what army? The seven year old on your shoulder? I hate to break it to you big guy, but that we could take you both down within seconds.” The cocky shit brandishes a pistol as he speaks, finger pressed so tightly to the trigger Barret’s half afraid he’ll fire wide without meaning to.

Subtly, he tightens his hold of Marlene, about to speak again when the woman on the ground coughs and rises to her hands and knees.

“No!” She protests loudly, to both Barret and the smaller man’s surprise. Her voice is scratchy yet strong with heated conviction, eyes burning a brilliant red as they come up to glare accusingly at the other. “She’s only a little girl, don’t-”

“Any fool stupid enough to carry around a brat during the apocalypse deserves to have her ripped from his fingers.” It’s one of the larger man that speaks this time around, and Barret has to grit his teeth through the rush of anger that sears through his veins, seconds away from putting thirty fucking bullets through the man’s worthless smirking face.

“What the hell did you just say?!” He demands.

“I said we’re going to kill you and your little brat, and then after that we’re going to kill this stupid whore for thinking she could steal from us!”

“No!” Barret’s heart almost stops at Marlene’s shout. The way every eye in the room is drawn to her. The way the gun points straight at her head - “You can’t hurt her! She’s ours, now. Tell them, Daddy!”

Barret turns to break the gunman’s line of sight, but surprisingly it’s the woman who speaks again, shaking her head wildly as she struggles to get to her feet. “Please! Please don’t get involved. I don’t want anybody else to get hurt.”

Stunned, all Barret can do for a moment is stand frozen, staring down at her. Her face is bruised and swollen, lip split and bleeding where she’s biting it aggressively to fight back the pain, and her arm curls around her ribs in a way that indicates they’re at least bruised, if not broken. Yet still she tries to rise up in their defense - in his daughter’s defense - despite her injured and unarmed state.

“Daddy-”

“I know, honey.” He can’t risk Marlene but he can’t just stand idly by as someone else gets hurt.

Before he knows it and before anybody can do a thing to react, he’s stepping forward and placing himself firmly between the woman and the three twitchy men. They all buck back like frightened horses at his rapid approach, making harsh, surprised noises that instantly tell Barret what he needs to know.

So he grins and bars his teeth, massive gun swinging around to aim at each of them for a second. Lingering until every last one is skittering uncomfortably, shifty eyed and sweating.

“I ain’t gon’ let you touch this girl and I am sure as hell not gonna let you so much as look or think about my daughter again! Now scram!” Bullets ring through the air, battering the concrete by the group’s heads and making them scream with terror, scattering like ants. Even the gunman forgets his own weapon and fragile bravado to turn tail and flee right behind his friends.

Then, as quickly as they’d appeared, the men are gone; glass doors sliding closed behind them as they stumble and stagger their way through the entire length of the parking lot and disappear into the trees.

Barret doubts they’ll last long with the infected in their current states, so he doesn’t bother chasing them. Instead, heart racing and mouth dry, he falls to his knees beside the woman. Though he pays her no heed as he sweeps his daughter from his shoulders and tucks her close to his chest.

“Are you alright?” He gasps into her hair. “Are you okay? Did they-did they-”

Marlene giggles, squirming against his hold until he’s forced to let her go. She twists her dirty pink shoes against the floor and holds her hands behind her back, smiling up at him so widely her eyes crease with the force of it. “I’m fine, Daddy!”

He sighs and checks her over with his eyes. Nobody had attacked them, of course, but he just can’t shake the fear that she could have died. One stray bullet or unfortunate ricochet. If the men had been any braver or the woman any more willing to use her proximity against them. If…

“You promise?”

“I promise!”

He gives her another quick hug, because she’s his daughter and she’s alive and he can, and then pulls away again to take a look at the woman behind them.

She’s dead to the world, eyes closed and completely limp. So still that if it wasn’t for her breathing, Barret would be hard pressed to think she was dead.

“Is she our friend now?” Marlene asks, going to her tip-toes to peer around his large bulk curiously.

Barret snorts. “What did I tell you about strangers?”

“To never talk to them or trust them and to always stay away from them!” Marlene recites proudly.

“That’s right! That’s very good, Marlene. If you meet a stranger you come straight to me, okay?”

He pats her on the head, but that doesn’t stop her from huffing with agitation and clenching her hands into fists, glaring up at him stubbornly. “But you are here. And she helped us!”

“I know-” Barret begins, but Marlene cuts him off.

“We can’t leave her behind, Daddy. She’s hurt and it’s our duty to help people. You always say that.”

“No, it’s my duty to always help people. It’s your duty to stay out of danger so Daddy doesn’t worry about you.”

She doesn’t respond this time around, bringing out the full force of her puppy dog eyes as she pouts, and Barret shakes his head, circling the woman’s battered form. Her breathing is heavy and steady, so at least she doesn’t seem to have a lung problem, and when he runs his fingers along her ribs he’s relieved to note that they’re only bruised and not broken. Painful but manageable. She should be up and about soon.

If they take her back.

Barret sighs, glancing over to Marlene’s wide, pleading eyes. “Who the hell am I kidding?” he grumbles to himself, moving the woman to a more secure position.

“So we’re keeping her?” Marlene asks, solemnity instantly turning to excitement at whatever she’s gleaned from his actions.

“Only until she’s better.”

“Okay!” Marlene squeals. She holds her arms up expectantly until Barret leans down and scoops her onto his shoulder. “We can bring her back with us!”

“After we get the food, sweetheart. You know we need the supplies.”

“‘Kay. Supplies first, then her, then home!”

“Yeah...home.”

And that’s how it begins. With one person - one chance encounter - and in a second their family has grown.

Tifa Lockhart, she later tells them her name is, while still laid up in the cot they’d prepared for her beneath the swaying boughs of the tallest tree.

She won’t stay for long, is all Barret can think in response, watching his chipper daughter chatter happily into her ear. She’ll leave before the night is out, and we’ll never see her again.

And only later - five more people and two years later - will he realize that he was gloriously, beautifully wrong.

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