#exist for yourself

[sheshesheep]

I've always been tomboyish and even as a kid I thought all this stuff was stupid even if I didn't have the words to explain why.

Now, 1. I know how degrading and exploitative the makeup industry is to women, and 2. it's simply a waste of time and energy. And the couple of times I tried it, just confirmed my beliefs of how restrictive it all is: you can't sweat, you can't touch your face, you have to obsessively check yourself in the mirror.... Yeah, why would I do that?

Men don't do it and neither will I :)

Reblog this and add a reason you dont wear make up

I’ll start 😊

There are no ingredients listed nor do make up companies answer to any type of health standards

[abandoned-quiche]

I LOVE ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS BTW. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR HATE FOR THEM ON MY POST

[thepeacefulgarden]

[soup-mother]

it's kinda impressive that transandrophobia theorists find the time to harass transmasc folk for not being transmisogynists in between harassing trans women for existing.

[faunandfloraas]

Happy international Give Up! Day to all who celebrate ✊ 210521

[transmisogyny-explained]

I want to submit a perspective on "afab transfemininity" from. an afab multi gender person. I know my experience isn't representative of everyone who calls themselves this, but I wanted to at least share

I don't call myself a trans woman, I hesitate to call myself transfem. nonetheless, I feel connected to femininity in a distinctly transgender way. when I first came out, I hated being a girl. I was a transmedicalist and validated myself by invalidating others. I had to face a lot of internalized misogyny and transphobia in order to really learn what it meant to be a man. after I started testosterone about 3 yrs ago, I realized I was a lesbian, and started feeling more comfortable being, at least in part, a woman. it was different this time because it was something I liked, something new and my own, not something ascribed to me. it's not cisgender in any way, it is transfemininity

this being said, I know my experience toward transfemininity is extremely different from the norm. I am not what most people are referring to when they refer to transfems, and there are many definitions of transfem that do not include me. despite that, I do have some experiences that overlap, things I can relate to. my femininity is at its core transgender in nature. my gender now is more complex... I feel like both a man and a woman, neither and both. but that doesn't mean my feelings about my gender are predatory or invalid. I don't want to talk over transfems, I am very aware of my place in these conversations. but I still have a place, and it frustrates me to see you share posts that minimize my experience into a stereotype

Why do you view transfemininity as being, at its core, the experience of being “both a man and a woman” lmao

Get back to me when you start viewing trans women as actual women and transfemininity as actual femininity, and not an aesthetic or a vibe or “some other third thing” apart from femininity.

You “feel femininity in a distinctly transgender way?” Congrats! You’re nonbinary! But that is NOT what being a trans woman is — Their womanhood and femininity is not essentially different from cis women’s.

What you are describing is a very generic experience of being a feminine nonbinary person, and I don't say that to insult you; but to compare that experience to those of trans women’s betrays the fact that you don't view them as the same gender as cis women. Which is transmisogyny. It’s textbook third-gendering.

Call yourself a nonbinary woman- Call yourself whatever you want, in fact. But trans women and TMA people are never going to feel safe around you so long as you continue insisting that transfemininity is essentially the same as the nonbinary femininity you experience, and essentially different from “real” cis women’s femininity.

Also, can I just say that it’s a little condescending that you would end your ask by saying “I’m aware of my place in these conversations, but…”

Like, if you were really “aware of your place” and were actually listening to transfems when we talk about transfeminism, you would be able to recognize the enormous amount of transmisogyny baked into your message. On top of the third-gendering, you also managed to:

Imply that TMA people don’t understand the complexities of gender and nonbinarity like you, a TME person, do

Imply that TMA people creating the language and spaces to discuss our experiences in a way that excludes you, a TME person, is invalidating and somehow tantamount to labeling you as “predatory” (what does that even mean?)

Sent an unprompted ask to a transfem’s blog venting your frustrations with the language of transfeminism, despite the fact that I’m not even the one who made those posts?

Showed a pretty absurd amount of entitlement by insinuating that it’s somehow my problem that you feel frustration over misunderstanding the basics of transfeminist theory

Subtly demanded that I do the emotional labor of managing your frustration, which, frankly, is just classic misogyny

Displayed a complete lack of understanding towards what transmisogyny even is, nor why we, as the direct targets of transmisogyny, need the the language and spaces to discuss it

I really don’t care what transfem “experiences” you think you relate to, the fact that you perpetuate and can benefit from transmisogyny will always separate you from us, and if you actually gave a shit about us and our struggles, you would recognize that and try to be a better ally to us rather than co-opting and redefining our language in a shallow attempt to define us out of existence.

As has been said countless times now:

“Transfeminine” does not mean “trans + feminine,” it is a term coined by TMA people to describe our specific experiences with being denied our femininity. That is something which you, as a person for whom (as you said) womanhood/femininity was ascribed by the system of patriarchy, cannot understand in the way we do.

[prommytheus]

me: im not a asoryu divorce truther, but i AM an asoryu taking a break & eventual unlabeled-long-distance-situation truther. they ABSOLUTELY needed to go on different paths at the end of the game. i totally get people who rewrite them to go back home together after 2-5, but it misses the point IMO. their split is a bittersweet thing & a testament to their devotion to each other as people and friends more than it’s a toxic split and a tragedy. it’s not ryuunosuke leaving in bitter anger at kazuma’s deceit, or kazuma being idiotically self punishing. rather, it’s them mutually saying “We need to exist outside of each other for a while for our own development as people. But i would never leave you in anger. You will always be enough for me, but you also need to learn to be enough for yourself. And ultimately we will meet again at the crossroads. When we need each other the most, and we are finally ready, and we will walk our paths side by side. Unbroken, and never having been broken. And that bond is stronger than both of our deceit, violence, shyness, and ignorance combined.”

their physical split is a show of their assurance that they could never spiritually ‘fall off’ from each other. no matter what happens, they stand together in a cosmic sense. they need to be apart so that kazuma can find a self that will live past 24, and so ryuunosuke can develop the self he found in his own journey— the self that sees its value at all. basically, ryuunosuke is leaving for himself to prove that he has a self, and kazuma is staying for himself so he can learn to care about himself enough to put his struggle in the hands of the people offering to him— so he can learn to stop running. do you get me?

you, tied to a chair and actively being waterboarded: BLBLBLBLBLLBLUBUBU—

[qiu-yan]

imagine the following scenario: one day, the MXTX protagonists + love interests find out, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are fictional characters; that they were created to star in a romance-genre web serialization centered around their relationship.

in this kind of situation, i feel like all of the MXTX protagonists would experience some level of existential crisis.....except for luo binghe.

fo luo binghe, the reveal would be twofold. first, there would be the PIDW reveal: that luo binghe was originally to be the protagonist of the webnovel PIDW, and that his fate changed when one of the novel's anti-fans, peerless cucumber, transmigrated into the body of shen qingqiu and derailed the entire plot.

second, there would be the SVSSS reveal: that, in reality, all of the above was actually the plot of another novel - the scum villain's self-saving system - and that said novel is not concerned with any of luo binghe's feats or conquests or the like, but rather is about the romance between shen qingqiu (shen yuan) and luo binghe. and that, rather than being the protagonist, luo binghe is instead the male lead to shen qingqiu's protagonist.

except literally both of these reveals are massive Ws for luo binghe?? first, for the PIDW reveal, luo binghe finds out why shen qingqiu pushed him into the abyss - not because shen qingqiu hated him, but rather because the system literally forced shen qingqiu to do so upon threat of death. furthermore, luo binghe learns shen qingqiu's real identity: someone who read about luo binghe from an alternate universe and came to love him, someone who loved luo binghe across dimensions so much that, upon seeing that luo binghe's story was to end with zero true emotional fulfillment, rejected this ending so vociferously that he ended up changing luo binghe's entire fate.

and then, the SVSSS reveal: this entire universe only exists because MXTX wanted to tell the story of the romance between shen qingqiu and luo binghe. from the beginning, shen qingqiu and luo binghe were fated to end up together. and, if shen qingqiu is the protagonist, that means luo binghe was literally created to love him.

absolute ego boost. massive W. every other MXTX character would be experiencing the existential crisis to end all existential crises, but not our luo binghe. nothing but victories for him.

[ahappydnp]

can't stop thinking about about how dan used to be convinced no one could love him for an extended period of time and that everyone gets sick of him eventually, to being so so dearly loved for 15 years straight... he's been someone's absolute favorite person for 15 years. hundreds of thousands of people have stuck with him from the moment they first saw him online because he's so easy to love and set up a permanent residence in your heart ;___;

like yeah dan's been someone's person for 15 years but he's also been proven wrong time and time again that he's in any way hard to love or easy to let go of

[enii]

💕

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Not to be all “I listen to Taylor Swift in a deeper and intellectual way” meme but I am seeing some people just not getting this album at all and I am a bit surprised by it.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[beanbagbuddies4life]

Simplicity Crafts 8091 looks like mostly generic beanbag animals... but Simplicity Crafts 8472 and Butterick 5295 look like potentially Beanie Baby replicas and spoofs. (That Butterick pattern is for sure-- that rabbit is spot on!)

These patterns are probably small enough to scan and upload. Just saying. Should anyone get their hands on one

[vagueconfusion]

Feeling real ridiculous for not having realized that Baron's "stark father" was the Nightmare King until now

[sesamestreep]

I really feel like one of the best details in “A Scandal in Bohemia” that I never see people fixate on enough is that the story starts with Watson stopping in to see Holmes at Baker Street on a complete whim, because he happens to see that he’s home (and Watson is now married and living elsewhere). Like he doesn’t send word first, he’s not invited, he just shows up and surprises Holmes. Which is not that weird but then Holmes is like “oh good, I’ve got a case anyway, you might as well hang out!” which just makes it funnier when the King shows up and is like “I’d really rather speak to you alone, actually” and Watson tries to leave and Holmes is just like “anything you can say to me, you can say to my best friend John Watson, and if you ask him to leave, I would consider it a grave insult, you would be my enemy and I will not help you ever!!” And the king is like “…ok” and just moves on.

like, that is crazy behavior. Holmes is talking about how there’s probably lots of money in this case, and then almost turns away the client for…not knowing who the fuck Watson is?? He’s not even supposed to be there?? He just came to say hi?? “It is both or none”… girl, GET UP.

[thosecactussharks]

You're downplaying your trauma. Why are you downplaying your trauma? WHO TAUGHT YOU TO DOWNPLAY YOUR TRAU-

...

My friend. My absolute ride-or-die. My dumbass, fuckass dude (gender neutral) that I love. Please.

Always prefacing experiences that are serious, upsetting, or otherwise negatively affecting you because you think the other person is going to dismiss you or raise their voice and tell you that you're overexaggerating without the preamble, is not normal.

Being terrified of or adverse to asking questions to anyone because you automatically assume you're going to be dismissed and told a harsh no, is not normal.

Someone else doing something that, rightfully, would make you upset or angry, that then makes you feel sick with guilt for the fact that you got angry - a completely valid and normal emotion to experience and express in that situation- is not normal.

Just because the person didn't or doesn't know that they gave you trauma, doesn't mean that they didn't hurt you. Just because you still love that person and are close to that person, doesn't mean that they didn't traumatize you.

Just because someone else thinks it wasn't that bad, doesn't mean it wasn't that bad to you. Just because something affected one person less than you, doesn't mean it didn't affect you more.

Telling yourself that an event wasn't traumatic doesn't remove the trauma it caused. Downplaying something because you don't think it was that bad, doesn't mean it's not that bad.

What didn't happen can be just as damaging as what did.

Neglect is trauma, too.