#fate it so cruel that i cannot be with my little guy at this current moment >:(

[steampunkedparm]

oona (our kitten) is essentially attached to my hip at this point and. my mother made some candles. so there is one very strong smelling scent that is making me a lil nauseous and headachy and.

you'll never guess what my cat very intensely smells of. who is trying very hard to come sleep with me.

[jungkook97]

decision to leave;; jjk

pairing: canon/idol!jungkook x hollywood socialite!female reader

word count: 5.8k

rating: 🔞 / mature audiences only

genre/tropes: angst, lots of pining, missed connections, forbidden love (they're literally fated to NOT end up together), emotional reunion, jungkook is selfish and a bit ✨ toxic ✨ (v cynical towards being a star)

trigger warnings: allusions to emotional trauma and explicit details of mental health issues, smoking, controlling entities in the form of the press, public opinion and hybe, hints of homophobia and blatant sexism, light allusions to sex

synopsis: being an idol is never easy. they work endlessly, and "fans", the media, and the company follow and critique their every movement. they're not strong enough, one could feel very trapped and suffocated.

jungkook was used to all of this.

what he wasn't used to was finding the right person at the wrong time.

notes: this has been in my consciousness for quite some time!! i always wondered if these men ever had moments where they found someone they could see a future with, but due to their current lives, they cannot be with them. maybe it's in fear of the company's reaction or rather, the world's approval.

this is set in the future where bts are even bigger than they are now, and their wealth is excessive. it explores jungkook's potential struggles with fame from the perspective of a guy who was 15 aka a kid when he debuted.

© jungkook97 2023. do not repost or modify. please ask for permission to translate.

taglist: @bighitfics, @babymochipj, @minienglishofficial, @starscloser, @nathanscottscaptaina

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There she was.

"Jungkook."

He stiffened up at the sound of her voice, the carefully beaded ivory organza train glided through the plush deep red carpet. Instinctively, his hands extended forward to ensure her dress was intact despite his mind screaming at him not to.

If her dress gets utterly destroyed, maybe I could stop this wedding from happening.

Jungkook knew he was being selfish. He felt bad for being incredibly and stupidly selfish at these thoughts. It ruminated in his mind for months on end, ever since the first appearance on his private Instagram feed of her gleaming on his phone screen with her hand decorated with the most intricate engagement ring he'd ever seen. Her fiancée, the soon-to-be husband in a few hours' time, is a Grammy-winning producer and knew exactly her taste.

That was supposed to be my ring. I'm supposed to marry you.

Like usual, the loud, combating voices in his head lowered to an inaudible whisper as she extended her arms for a hug, now formally a tight squeeze around his shoulders, something that felt so foreign to him. His arms went for her waist, but his brain corrected itself to somewhere around the top of her back.

They weren't like that anymore.

We're not like that anymore.

"I'm so glad you could make it," he could hear her say. It was genuine, innocuous. As if they were simply friends, colleagues at best. As if...they didn't really know each other.

She let him go prematurely he felt, looking into his eyes with a sparkle that he had yet to find again.

His heart ached even more as he cleared his throat to prevent from getting even more overwhelmed. How could this happen to him like this? What exactly did he do in his previous life that led to experiencing Taeyang's "Wedding Dress" in this reality? Is it really that evil and that cruel to allow him to have so much fame and success at the expense of happiness in his romantic life?

Jungkook never asked for too much. At times, he felt like he was asking too little. Open communication, good sex, growing together. Hell, he looked past all of his exes and situation-somethings' body image, self-esteem, generational and familial trauma, etc. The list was never-ending, but he endured because, after all, these people chose to be with him despite being Jungkook of BTS.

That title. He learned to tolerate it, but at this very moment, the resentment was impalpable. As much as he loved ARMY and how much they gave him and the other members space for them to grow and be with other people, he felt trapped in his situation the other 80% of the time. If it wasn't a scolding about his tattooed arm, it was him drinking awfully too much for their liking, attending too many club events, or just breathing the wrong way.

Dating was near impossible as his so-called "fans" bombarded anybody he was interested in with death threats in every communication channel on the planet, scaring off potentially serious prospects. Jungkook couldn't be very casual if he wanted, because for some reason, being "too" sexually active go against the company's carefully crafted image of him as the youngest. It wasn't that they prevented him from fucking around (they organize secret parties and one-on-one gatherings for him to "have fun"), but how could he effectively be intimate with anybody if the company texted an NDA right after, or checking on them periodically to make sure they weren't pregnant. After all, as the company would say, you could never fully trust a woman's intentions.

It felt so transactional. Why did it have to be that way, Jungkook would ask. The company would simply reply, To protect you and your interests.

Yeah, my interests. My interest in getting married and having children would disrupt the flow of income for all of you and your shareholders.

It seemed time passed long enough to where there was an awkward silence between the two and so, Jungkook spoke.

"You seriously think I wouldn't be here?" he scoffed, making an effort to smile, even if it was one of those smiles for show. "This is the biggest day for you! You also rented me for 3 minutes," he joked as he chuckled lightly. Her fiancée had asked him to sing during their first dance.

"Stop," she laughed, slapping him playfully on his chest. His stomach turned at the sudden touch, biting his bottom lip. She caught on immediately, her eyes looking down toward the floor.

Fuck, I fucked up.

"You know, you don't have to do it," she whispered, her perfectly manicured fingers fiddling with her veil. It was gorgeous, but that was unsurprising. She always looked radiant in everything that she wore, an effortless well-dressed woman, Jungkook's type.

"Ah...no..." he stepped a bit closer, closing the gap. Unconsciously, he lifted her chin up with his fingers. "I want to...."

She pursed her lips at his sudden intimacy, her body tensing up. Jungkook noticed immediately, but he didn't care. He was being selfish. He knew what he was doing, making his eyes purposefully more doe-like just to mess with her emotions. He knew from the past few weddings he attended for his members that brides are highly emotional on their wedding day and have the highest chance of cold feet. All he needed was for her to get a serious case of it.

If you're gonna be selfish, just fucking say it. Say you don't want this for her.

"Jungkook..." she said softly as his finger rubbed at the base of her chin oh-so-slightly, innocuous really.

Just kiss her. Go all the way.

Before Jungkook could fully lean into his toxic boundary-breaking tendencies, his beloved pushed his fingers away. Shocked, they fell back on his side. She looked up, her eyes starting to well up in tears.

"Jimin was right. You really are trying to ruin this wedding."

Fuck.

"No," Jungkook pathetically denied, his breath hitched and body tensing up. "That's not what I'm fucking doing." That's exactly what I was fucking doing.

She was walking away at this point, a reversal he semi-knew was coming. He didn't bother to chase after her because what else could he do? He knew he was wrong, and it wasn't like he could fix her makeup, something he knew took forever to do.

She stopped in the middle of the room to turn around, taking a big inhale. Jungkook's eyes couldn't meet hers at that point, afraid to see the pure anger in her eyes. He could sense how much she hated him, how much she wished he changed a bit since they last spoke, since they last were anything but this.

"I'm going to let you stay and still sing, but I swear to God if you do anything else..." she paused, sniffling. "We're never going to see each other again, and there will be no way of me forgiving you."

How important was she to Jungkook? Nobody really knew, and Jungkook genuinely didn’t either. He wasn’t the type to articulate such deep feelings until well after, his mind always lingering in the past. It haunted him surely, as almost-relationships would happen on a semi-regular occurrence, pissing him off greatly. 

What was his deal, he thought. If his other members could find someone so easily, why couldn’t he? He felt the odd one out, being that member who was always chronically single. It wasn’t that he was trying (he very much was), but nothing ever seemed to work out. It was either he was bored or they couldn’t take it anymore. 

In some ways, Jungkook felt like he was a member of the British royal family, something that originally felt like a gag from a Twitter meme, but it couldn’t feel any more real to him. The public began questioning what was wrong with him, speculating that he was too much to handle (somewhat true) or gay (not entirely opposed to the idea). 

With all of these thoughts circling around in his brain, he wasn’t entirely paying attention the entire night. Surely, one would think winning a Grammy would snap someone out of their insecurities, but the win was a guarantee according to his staff, with the U.S. PR team relentlessly running “For Your Consideration” campaigns for months on end. Jungkook didn’t care much about the logistics of it: after all, he’s merely a musician like the rest of the group. 

And so, Jungkook found himself in the corner somewhere with an unspecified drink in his hand at an intimate afterparty with the members. The company wasn’t privy to send them to the official one as it would cause some controversy with the amount of press there.  None of the members cared: they were quite against what goes on with these Hollywood parties. They were, after all, Korean men. 

One would think that the members would recognize everybody in the room at these private parties, but not every time. She was there, a friend of that Grammy-winning producer (he helped produce their single). Jungkook barely noticed her before they stood next to each other at the latter half of the night, people watching their colleagues. 

She was wearing a mid-length gold laced gown, probably designer, hair did just enough to be formal, but still relaxed. He could smell a hint of her perfume, a dark sweet scent like toasted marshmallows, probably Rihanna’s favorite perfume (he, the perfume enthusiast, was a die-hard fan of Kilian). 

Eventually, she broke the ice and to Jungkook’s surprise, they spoke the same language. His tense muscles finally relaxed at the sound of her Korean with a slight American accent. Jungkook always felt anxious whenever BTS were abroad because, well, he never learned any other languages, much to Namjoon’s dismay. The constant nagging would get him highly strung, burdened by how complex the language was. 

Soon, they found themselves laughing with each other, finding some things in common. Her dad was from Busan so she was used to his Busan male energy, the countryside bad boy image that everyone knew pretty well. Jungkook suddenly felt two times bigger, subconsciously widening his broad shoulders and flexing his muscles.

If there was anything Jungkook felt quite confident about, it was how incredibly good looking and extremely fit he was. He took great pride in it, and frankly, it never failed to bag anybody he wanted. And he knew, he wanted her. 

Soon, the giggles and chuckles became physical touch, innocuous at first. Then, it became suggestive and sensual as his hands found her hips as he urged her to dance along with whatever R&B song was playing. They got very cozy, their eyes locked and bodies intertwined. It was a safe space: the company vetted through everyone with NDAs and several warnings prior.

It wasn’t long before he asked her:

“Do you want to get away with me for a bit?”

She felt good. Real good. 

She felt safe. Very safe.

He nearly forgot what he was thinking about all night, all week, really. Their Grammy win came a week after Namjoon announced to the entire world he was engaged, writing the longest letter known to man on Weverse to profess his love for his partner of four years. The fans took it incredibly well, after all, they had four other proposals before to get used to it. 

Yes, that was right: he wasn’t the only one. Hoseok was just as single as he was, but his older close friend had come out a couple of years ago. It was met with a bombardment of love and support from everybody, a step forward for LGBTQIA+ people back home. There wasn’t a single dry eye in the room when they all came together a month prior as Hoseok pitched the idea to the company for this public announcement because he felt strongly to “speak his truth”. 

Speaking the truth was all Jungkook ever wanted to do. In fact, he has gotten in trouble several times for being too honest, like making a witty, snide comment about the company’s easy acceptance of Hoseok's decision. His manager pulled him aside after all the male executives begrudgingly hugged Hoseok in support.

Jungkook hated it. They spent years trying to prevent him from coming out and it ended with his hyung losing his long-term partner as a result, a pain point that was remedied in their eyes by making it easier for Jimin to come out six months later.

Hoseok may be single now, but he was never chronically single for that long. Jungkook, on the other hand, wasn’t as lucky. 

And so, he found himself lost in his thoughts again as she was finishing washing herself up in his bathroom. Fiddling with her gown left on top of the bed, he sat up, exhaling deeply. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, emerging from the bathroom. She had enwrapped herself in the other pair of robes that he didn’t use already. 

At this point, they had spent a few hours talking about their lives. It turned out they had even more things in common. Although she was never a child star, her close friend was one, a Disney Channel one, to be specific. This fascinated Jungkook: Namjoon always pointed out the similarities between BTS and them whenever he got too meta after several rounds of whiskey, with Yoongi nodding in complete agreement before asking to clack their glasses together to cheer for that. 

What was there to cheer for, Jungkook wondered. If he remembered anything from those conversations, these stars end up being so fucked up. He, along with the members, were lucky to have a good head on their shoulders, avoiding unfavorable and distasteful situations. 

She understood this lifestyle, allowing Jungkook to rant endlessly about it. Just when he thought he couldn't articulate as well as his meta-filled hyungs, he went on for an hour about it. At that point, he was no longer being that press-friendly and cute maknae Jeon Jungkook, but a late twenty-something with a degree in broadcast media and over a decade and a half of experience in the industry. He felt old just thinking about it, which strangely comforted him. 

For once, he felt older and wiser. No longer was his young age being seen as a gauge of nearly-impossible success being possible. Perfection, as Jungkook saw it. 

Man, she’s so good. 

“I don’t know, just thinking about Namjoon-hyung,” he exhaled through his nose, his head leaning back against the plush headboard. “He’s gonna get married soon and have kids. I know this because he told me last week he started looking into names.”

She laughed softly, sitting down on the bed lightly. The smell of the hotel soap smelled so intoxicating on her. There was a continued sweetness, a warmth that felt familiar and comforting to him. 

“He’s just excited, Jungkook-ah. It’s his first.”

Jungkook sighed. 

“I know, but…” he trailed off, trying to find the right words. He was baring his whole soul to this woman he barely met, an impulsive and rather stupid decision to make. Jungkook always had the problem of saying way too much after the first fuck. “What if…what if I don’t want him to have a kid yet?”

She frowned. Didn’t seem very pleased about that. 

“And why do you feel that way?” 

A question Jungkook’s therapist always asks him. Surely, it was a question that popped up quite often in his ramblings to them too. He had been going to see them for two years at this point at the request of the company. 

“It’s for you and your health.”

Code: your depression and unearthed trauma is getting too annoying for us to deal with, so here’s a mental health professional. 

Maybe I don’t like seeing people getting their life together because I’m not put together. Like, Namjoon has everything: brains, body, a lifetime term partner, rich, famous, etc. The list never ends. Although I respect him as an older brother, I could never be him, not even a little bit. I lack so much compared to him, and how dare he be happy before I am?

“I don’t know.”

LA had become their official second home. The company had decided to buy a home somewhere secluded enough for them to spend long periods of time in the U.S., a city that Jungkook barely remembered the name of. One would think he’d remember more of his new home’s backyard, but it wasn’t his hometown no matter how long and how often he stayed there. The home was also bought for their own good, because as the company’s therapist pointed out, prolonged time in exclusively hotel rooms can deteriorate an artist’s mental health. 

As the members returned back to their new home, Jungkook invited her to come along. They had a few weeks to decompress, a well-deserved rest. It was BTS’ Balmoral Castle, a large piece of property along the ocean line with a personal private beach. The company paid top dollar for it, and to the press to prevent them from sneaking into the property for some juicy photos. 

Jungkook loved it at first sight, not for its grandiosity or the sheer wealth the company continued to flex, but for the scenic violet, reddish-pink sunsets it provided. It reminded him of Busan, except this was where the 1% lived and not his local neighbors who, at a time long ago, just knew him as Jeon Jungkook from Busan. 

The members slowly vacated the property to leave the two alone, mostly taking trips up the coast with their significant others (except for Jimin, Jimin’s partner, and Hoseok, who were heading over to Palm Springs for some R&R with a rich white gay couple they met last week). Taehyung had planned a whole horseback riding adventure with his fiancée, Seokjin and Yoongi, and their wives heading to a winery in Napa Valley, and Namjoon and his newly engaged beau to look and stay at some ancient castle (Jungkook couldn’t recall, but Lady Gaga raved about how incredibly gorgeous it was).  

And so, the two spent the entire time together. In between spontaneous fucking and strolls down the beach and plazas, it was quite literally the Balmoral test, an infamous initiation ritual that the Royal Family had for those who wanted to be in The Inner Circle. 

Well, in a few weeks’ time, she was in Jungkook’s.

Jungkook could feel his teeth grinding loudly in his ears, pounding at the same beat of his ever-growing headache. He hated it, all of it.

He thought that maybe, just maybe, he could stomach it once he got a few drinks in, but he was terribly wrong. The youngest was jealous as fuck, and he did not make any efforts to hide it.

His hands were balled in fists as she and her newly married man made it toward the dance floor, waltzing and laughing in each other's arms. She looked stunning in her ivory mermaid wedding dress, her veil entangled around her sleek frame and her new man.

That should've been me, he thought. I'm supposed to be that happy.

Jungkook heard a sigh from his left, a warm tinier hand extending out to caress his.

"Jungkook-ah, you need to let it go," Jimin leaned in to whisper. He had been checking on the kid all night, or rather, all year.

He wasn't the only one, of course, Namjoon was excessively checking on him almost every night. It was annoying of course, despite the fact that Jungkook deep down appreciated it. Even if they're not as close as they used to be, the team was his found brothers, a family away from family.

However, if there was anybody who kept Jungkook in check, it was Park Jimin out of the members, as his tender voice seemed to get to him somehow. As Hoseok once quipped,

"Jungkook never listens, but he sure is handsome."

Let it go...how could he let it go? Jungkook spent the past couple of years trying to forget her, only for her to not only find someone new, it was someone who he knew.

It was natural, as Yoongi would say. They had been friends for quite some time and their Grammy hit was a love letter to her. Jungkook and him wrote it together, unaware that they both had feelings for her.

Surely, it had to be because of money, he thought. Producers will always get royalties no matter what it is, and the guy was on his way to being inducted into some hall of fame for it. Meanwhile, boy band members like him had an expiration, aging like milk depending on how problematic or fast you aged, whichever came first.

Although Jungkook was fortunate enough to be well-loved, the newer generation was becoming the new "It Boys", something that Jungkook had relished in for quite some time. It was his Leo Moon after all that loved the spotlight, whether he liked to admit it or not.

Perhaps it was the loneliness he felt when he was younger that got him to crave the spotlight, the years he spent being alone in Seoul while his parents were back at home, praying every night that he'd do well, but couldn't reach him due to differing schedules. As the phone rang too long to voicemail on very late nights trying to call his mother, Jungkook felt almost abandoned, unsure if this path was meant for him. Of course, he didn't give up as he became the center of the biggest boy band in the 21st century, but that loneliness was never filled. Just his arm filled with ink and his stomach filled with alcohol.

Talk about mommy issues.

Soon enough, Jungkook was snapped out of his daze and pulled up on stage. Of course, the song that his "friend"/newly married groom requested him to sing would be one of Jungkook's favorite songs too, and would describe how he felt about her, but whatever. This isn't his night.

As the predominantly white crowd of industry folks and company people cheered on, he began singing:

"It's like you got superpowers Turned my minutes into hours You got more than 20-20, babe Made of glass the way you see through me"

All Jungkook could do was close his eyes to get through it, trying his best to restrain himself from breaking down. Maybe it'll sound more beautiful if he channeled it the right way.

Wherever that is.

"You're so fucking selfish."

Maybe I am.

"I'm not," Jungkook lied.

Her eyes glittered with tears at this moment as she sniffled, wiping up her nose hastily as she shook her head in disbelief. He knew he fucked up at that point, standing there silently hoping that this wasn't it.

At this point, they had been "seeing each other" for two and a half years, but even that is questionable. It was too much chemistry to be just a fling, but too surface-level to be dating, but Jungkook didn't know how else to describe it. Jungkook hated situationships with his entire being, and he swore to her that it wasn't gonna be that (it ended up being so).

And so, they fought regularly, sometimes more eruptive than other times. This time, it was a lack of physical touch, something Jungkook desperately needed at this point. He was trying to curb the habit of mysteriously disappearing to America just to see her every other month in 3 week spurts when the “coincidental meetups” during the tour wasn’t enoug. At this point, the company warned that TMZ was on him. Unlike Dispatch, TMZ wasn't keen on getting paid off to not leak some photos of their rendezvous.

This time, Jungkook gathered all of his courage to ask her to get hired by their company in some unspecified position. It was how the company could protect her, and they would see each other often, or that is, that’s what he thought it was. She had been resistant to the idea, mainly because it sounded like a very roundabout way to appoint her as Jungkook’s main escort. 

“I’m not your fucking whore,” she emphasized again, sitting down on the white leather couch, setting her wine glass on the glass table and crossing her legs. “That’s literally what HYBE was going to hire me for.”

“You’re not gonna be that,” Jungkook reassured, unsure of the position himself. 

The company could’ve put her somewhere in the executive positions with her Masters in Business from USC. She was, after all, a nepotism baby, a stark contrast to Jungkook’s humble beginnings. Her father owned a chain of Korean pubs in Los Angeles, and the company had planned to expand their reach out to the food service industry (using BTS as their main driving force, as usual). 

But, like clockwork, the company didn’t see her as a strong fit compared to her older brother. An odd choice he felt, considering that the guy was a loose cannon, spending the family’s money away with cocaine and prostitutes. He was, at some point, affiliated with Seungri’s people before the guy’s imprisonment, which for some reason, the company glazed over. 

Anyway, the details and the politics seemed rather hazy and confusing to Jungkook, but there was a compelling reason why the company wasn’t completely shutting their relationship down. After all, Jungkook was the Crown Prince of the company, the guy who you could find a well-positioned wife to inherit the throne. 

Jungkook hated this. After all, he was as rebellious as Princess Diana and couldn’t be controlled that easily. This wasn’t like acquiring a whole country or keeping good relations. This was his life, and he was losing more and more of it as time went on.

“If that isn’t it, then what are we then?” she pressed once more, her lips pursed. “What the fuck are we if we’re not dating?”

There it was again. The question that Jungkook dreaded hearing. 

It wasn’t because he didn’t want to give her that label. In fact, he very much wanted her to be his and maybe, just maybe, be serious about marrying. At this point, Seokjin, Namjoon and Yoongi were married. Even Jimin and Taehyung have long-term partners and on the fast pass track to getting married. He was losing out on time, as his goal was to have kids by the time he hit his early thirties, but it seemed like with every passing year, the chances of that happening were getting slimmer and slimmer. It also didn’t help that the company didn’t want him to confirm the relationship despite everyone and their moms know they were together. 

It isn’t the time, Jungkook, they say. The fans would be really upset if you did. 

But they didn’t for the others. Why was it just him?

It’s different. You’re…Jungkook.

Right. Like that makes any damn sense. 

“Jungkook, answer me.”

He turned his head slightly at her to see her eyes stained with tears. At this point, she stood up to walk over toward him, bag in hand. It seemed like their already short meeting was coming to an end. The last thing Jungkook really needed was to fuck it up to the point this might be their last time seeing each other. 

“I…” Jungkook trailed off as she rolled her eyes, his fingers fidgeting his own jean pockets. “I don’t know…I don’t know what we are. I don’t…” he laughed nervously, “I don’t even know who I am.”

Trauma dumping wasn’t what Jungkook had in the books for this conversation, but it was true. He felt like an empty vessel of a human being, but not in the same way as fans would fill him up with all the personalities of his members, but rather, unfulfilled, exhausted, done with everything. 

What is there to do once you have accomplished everything? The other members seemed to have an answer for that, but Jungkook never did. 

She was walking out at this point, exhaling sharply as her heels clicked against the tile floor. Jungkook was losing time, and it was the point of no return. 

“Don’t leave.”

She stopped, letting out a small laugh. Turning around with the hand on the door knob, she delivered the last blow.

“We’re done, Jungkook.”

It was getting late. His cover of “pov” garnered a standing ovation lasting several minutes with tens of people with teary eyes. He captured the lyrics so well, they said.

Well, it’s not that hard to relate to the material and singing to the love of his life that he lost.

Jungkook found himself sitting by the end of the hill in the grassy field, his eyes watching the riverbed ahead. Her taste truly never failed: a destination wedding in the island of Sicily. He wanted to marry her in Jeju and if he wasn’t wrong, he mentioned it to her once.

He needed to take a breather, but more so, a cigarette. For the longest time, he was against tobacco after his dad reeked of it every waking moment of his life. But as he got older and more jaded, Jungkook found himself reaching for all the vices that were legal, smoking and drinking just enough to not cause concern. He was careful to be right under the radar. After all, all eyes are always on him.

The cool air was fogging up the vision in front of him as he exhaled, his hands slowly buried into his hands. Although he felt buzzed and danced through the night, it wasn’t enough to be angry about the wedding, about losing her…about everything, really.

Where did he go wrong? Did he make the wrong choice in choosing this life? Was he doomed to not be with anybody or have happiness? Or is it the reincarnation curse that he was fated to live a life so unhappy just like his supposed first life did, minus the tragic car crash? 

Or maybe, just maybe, there was something else that he isn’t getting…something that has been in front of him all along…

“Need a cigarette?”

He looked up, his lips curving into a bittersweet smile.

“Hey,” he greeted her. She was wearing a shorter dress without a veil this time, a modern ivory hanbok to dance easier. 

“Hey you,” she smiled warmly, kneeling down. 

“Ey, you’re gonna ruin your dress!” Jungkook held his hand up in protest, but she continued to plop herself down next to him, laughing. 

“You know I don’t really give a fuck about that,” she chuckled, putting her arms on her knees, mirroring him. 

She really didn’t. If it was anything Jungkook knew, she was just as rebellious as he was, something that he loved the most about her. In fact, she said no to the merger between her father’s restaurant chain and the company, causing a major rift in priorities. It was also the time when the two broke up, which made it even more suspicious for the fans to think it was all a PR relationship.

It wasn’t. Not that it mattered anyway, the fans don’t know everything about him, regardless of what many wished to be. 

“Here.” 

She gingerly took out a cigarette from her dress pocket. Without hesitation, Jungkook took it, pulling out his own lighter and lighting it up. With one slow drag, the warmth of the tobacco hit his lungs, instantly calming him down.

Exhaling, his fingers fiddled around the wrapping paper, his head tilted back. There was a serene silence between the two, and for once, it wasn’t awkward like it was the other times with lingering glances during the engagement party and the wedding rehearsal. 

“Thank you,” he said, although it felt like the thanks was more than just for the cigarette. He was thanking her for everything, the emotional support, the sex, the healing. Although their time was cut short, he felt like he knew himself a bit better now, progress in his eyes. 

She nodded in acknowledgement, taking the cigarette to take a huff of her own. He dropped his hand down to touch hers. This time, she didn’t flinch.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry we couldn’t make it work.”

Tears started welling up in his eyes. 

“It’s okay,” he sniffled, trying his best to blink the tears away. “I mean…it wasn’t meant to be and it’s fine.”

He turned to her with a weak smile and to his surprise, a more distraught look on her face. His stomach lurched forward, butterflies filling up in his stomach. He knew it. She still loved him even after all this time, perhaps just as much as he did. 

She leaned her hand on his shoulder as she gripped his hand tighter, the tobacco smoke engulfing the both of them. They took turns to finish it off to the end before doing a couple of more in silence. There wasn’t much to say, they both thought, as they already said enough.

After the third cigarette, Jungkook finally broke his silence.

“I think I’m going to leave.”

Her head lifted up from its resting position to look up at him. God, her eyes were beautiful, so full of life. He wanted to kiss her, but he restrained himself. He didn’t want to be selfish in that regard anymore. 

“Leave?”

“I’m going to end my contract and retire. I’m leaving the industry behind.”

Her eyebrows scrunched up in shock as they pulled apart. The contract renewal had been a looming topic amongst the company for quite some time. While the group had been less active in the recent years with the birth of Seokjin’s firstborn, it has been the general consensus that the group would continue to perform until they all passed away. At first, Jungkook was open to the idea, but as time went on, he felt tired, exhausted. 

Done. 

“Are you sure?”

He nodded.

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know what I’d be doing after, but I want to find myself. Maybe, I’ll find another you,” he grinned, a tear leaving his eye.

She inhaled, her lips pursed into a small heart. She sat up, blinking furiously before exhaling sharply and laughing. 

“Well then! I support it, Kook,” she smiled, patting him on the shoulder. It was a pang to his heart, but it had to be done. They weren’t lovers anymore, but rather, formerly intimate lovers turned lifetime companions. 

Jungkook was unsure where it would take. Surely, he just thought about it on the spot. He wondered how the fans would take it. After all, he spent twenty years as a member of BTS, a successful solo artist and actor and was one of the most well-loved celebrities from his home country. He was seen as The Pride of Busan as he never once got into a scandal despite having an arm littered with tattoos, face piercings and a drinking habit. His fans were fiercely protective of his privacy against stalkers and delusional fans alike, and a move like this would piss off the company for sure. 

He didn’t care though. After all, he never listens but he sure is handsome.

It was time to take his life back.

“Me too.”

[END]

[honeybadger-the-pop-witch]

Fallen Confessional #1: A Girl and her Dæmon Have an Issue with Daniel the Blondie

Elmar and I are reading the first book of the Fallen series, Fallen. I have to say, I am highly enjoying myself for a bit of a trashy teen romance. Elmar is less than thrilled with the choice, preferring to try and finish Mindhunter. However we are both in agreement, Team Cam for the win.

What people seem to overlook when reading Fallen is that while it's set up to be a romance between Luce and Daniel—it's a tragedy. One Elmar and I cannot look away from.

Luce, a girl probably suffering from a form of survivor's guilt, is drawn over and over again to a boy named Daniel. Daniel is an ass to her essentially—actually, not essentially, he just is an ass. But it's implied from the preface that they're connected through some form of reincarnation.

However, Luce also finds herself feeling comfortable with, and having feelings for, this guy named Cam. This is going on the same time she finds herself drawn to Daniel. She has feelings for both guys and she's confused by it. Once even saying the following:

"[It] didn’t make sense, because a gorgeous and friendly guy was standing right behind her, asking her what she’d like to drink. The other gorgeous, infinitely less friendly guy sitting across from her should not be the one she couldn’t stop looking at."

Chapter Five, "The Inner Circle", pg.77 Fallen by Lauren Kate

Luce is self-aware about how screwed up this is.

She knows something isn't right.

But Daniel keeps trying to say she's insane for thinking that they have a connection, which would be a fair point considering the setting of Sword and Cross school. Well, would is the operative word. She would have let it go, and think she really was certifiable—if he didn't start spouting out facts that he knows about her that he shouldn't if they've never met before!

I mean there's an entire chapter dedicated to a swim meet that Luce was supposed to win. She didn't because Daniel and this girl named Gabbe threw her off her game by her assuming Daniel was with Gabbe. She was angry at the both of them and it broke her concentration. Then she lost, and when Daniel asked her how she did, and she said she failed, he replied by starting to say, "But you were always..." before cutting himself off (Kate, pg 90).

And you know how he tries to fix it? By saying that the new kids were always meant to win. By brushing off the electric shock when their hands met as her being crazy. By doubling down that they'd never met before.

Luce internalizes these consistent inconsistencies and points out on numerous occasions how messed up it is. But she's still drawn to him, and the question is why.

So, that's why, a little over a third of the way through the book, I am vehemently anti-Daniel. (I.e. that jerk in the gif above.) And my dæmon, Elmar, agrees. He's very big on the equal respect among partners and valuing yourself. But the question is why are we, Elmar and I, very pro-Team Cam?

Here's why, take everything we just said about Daniel and throw it out. He doesn't try to make Luce look crazy. He isn't an ass to her. He offers her to use his telephone time so she could continue talking to her best friend Callie.

(Callie, by the way, is a queen and a half because she is a constant reminder to Luce that the men in her life must respect her before anything else.)

On top of that, Cam never makes Luce feel unwanted—whether it be during a party he's hosting, like in chapter five, or where I am at currently in chapter seven. Chapter seven at this point is basically a date between Cam and Luce where they learn a little bit about each other, and Cam uses his kitchen-help-time to make sure Luce actually eats because of how late she is to class. They goof around, guessing how each person in the cemetery died. They almost kissed even!

And through it all, he almost always asked for her permission when initiating contact, smuggled in coffee for her, and made her feel comfortable.

Since the moment we met him, Cam genuinely cared for Luce. Even when Cam didn't like her one friend, he didn't complain or prevent her from hanging out with her. He let them go and bond because he respects Luce. And Luce genuinely likes him—but then she's drawn to Daniel like a moth to a flame. There's always this foreboding sense of a cruel twisted star-crossed fate when Daniel appears because of what was implied in the preface.

Fallen is a beautiful tragedy, not a romance.

Fallen is about a girl who gets taken from her home because she was involved with a death of a boy and she can't even explain how. This girl, stripped from everyone she loved and the place she called home, struggles to find acceptance in a new environment and makes some pretty kick ass friends. Fallen is about a girl who likes a boy, one who is genuinely kind and cares for her. One who, above all, respects her and her choices—even after the world stripped almost all of that away from her. Fallen is about this girl and boy as they fall for each other slowly and adorably... only for the girl to be drawn to a boy who seemingly can't stand her all because of an implied twist of fate. Fallen is a beautiful, masterful tragedy.

If I can tell that from only reading about six and a half chapters, why can't anyone else see it that way? Why was it treated like some Twilight knock off when the ideas—intended or not—hold so much more emotional weight and impact? I am genuinely confused.

Yes, the writing is a bit cringe, but at least Luce has some personality. She's even a bit relatable. And the side characters that we actually spend some time with are amazing. Even Daniel, simply for the fact that we hate him so much right now.

So what do you think? Is Fallen a tragedy or a romance? Or is it both?

[faulty-writes]

Monoma getting a crush on the reader who is in 1-A – he feels like he’s betrayed his own class and himself, but he can’t help it. y/n doesn’t treat him like an annoyance and even thinks all his obnoxiousness over the rivalry between their classes is genuinely funny. Y/n is just sort of like, ‘THIS guy, am I right?’ with one arm wrapped around his shoulders and treats him like a good pal

[ This is my first time writing this character. So let’s hope I did a good job. I think he’s cute but annoying, so. ] 

“This is clearly impossible! They must have tricked me! How low will Class 1-A sink yet!?” he declared as he spun on his feet, one hand to his chest and the other raised in the air as if he were an actor on the stage. Most would probably agree, he’d make a better actor than a hero. But he never paid attention to those he considered lesser than him, so their words left him unaffected. So, it was safe to say that wasn't the issue he was going off about at the current moment, oh no.

This had been an ongoing issue with him for a long time and though he tried to deny it. Tried to continuously put the blame on you, thinking it was somehow your fault. The truth was, it was him and he hated it. He had betrayed his dear Class 1-B and for what? You. A  hero, a rival in Class 1-A. Why was fate this cruel to him? Or was it that you were just so nice to him? He wasn’t truly sure when his feelings had begun, though he assumed it was because unlike most you didn’t find his rambles to be annoying.

You didn’t find him to be a bother when he went off insulting Class 1-A, in fact, you laughed. You giggled, you smiled. You...you set his heart ablaze in the worst way. “Oh, woe is me!” he cried out before collapsing to his knees in the center of his bedroom. His hands pressed close to his chest as he stared blankly at the wall. Why is it that you meant so much to him? He had feelings for you, yes. He couldn’t call it love yet, but what he did feel was strong. Unexplainable even and it was horrible.

He hated how his heart raced whenever he was in your presence and he loathed the way you’d make his face light up with your slightest touch, the slightest hint of your voice. He didn’t know how to shake himself of this feeling, he didn’t know how to make up for the betrayal, the sheer disregard to his own classmates. “How...how am I a victim of falling for that glassy-eyed beauty from the class I am at war against, that I am meant to despise?!” he took a breath before sighing and letting his head hang low.

His bangs brushing against his face, how would he go about solving this? “Hm…” he hummed, thinking of possible solutions and only one came to surface. “Ah yes! It’s so simple!” he declared as he sprung to his feet, seemingly in and out of emotions. “I shall confess my feelings and surely they shall be rejected! After all, Class 1-A is undeserving of my greatness and given the one who's stolen my heart is but a pebble in the mixture of my hatred. They are still a member of that horrid class, which means I cannot put up with this! Yes, I shall tell them of my feelings and get rejected! Then I shall be free of this dark spell!” he declared as he spun on his feet once more, yes.

Starting tomorrow, he will confess to you. Though he knew he would be rejected if heartbreak was the price he had to pay to end his feelings. So be it, he simply couldn’t allow this to continue. Oh no, he couldn’t let himself fall for a member of Class 1-A. He couldn’t allow his feelings to sway his actions, in fact, he had noticed during training. He often took it easy on you, well that would be no more after he lost his feelings for you. Oh, to be free would be wonderful.

To be himself once more. Though classes often trained at the same time, they were separated. But as of late, the teachers insisted on Class A and Class B train together. To further improve their own tactics, skills, and experience other quirks which both improved strengths and weaknesses. Monoma had a smile on his face as he walked along with his classmates, his teacher Sekijiro Kan was leading them and frankly though he hated to admit it. Monoma was looking forward to seeing Class 1-A, if only for the reason that he’d get to see you.

Before the training started, he’d pull you to the side and confess his feelings and surely you wouldn’t return them. The result of such a thing though it would make him have a battered and bleeding heart, would also allow him to beat you to a pulp when your teams went head to head. He chuckled to himself as the sound of chatter reached his ears and smiled as Class 1-A came into view, though at the same time it made his stomach twist with disgust.

He found himself desperately searching for you within the crowd and he eventually spotted you talking to Kirishima of all people, pff. He wanted to deny it made him feel jealous, seeing you give your attention to someone so undeserving. So naturally, he had to voice his opinion and walked over. “My, my. The sparkling jewel of Class 1-A, I imagine your standards are very low if you talk to those whose quirks are simply unreliable. Useless even, hah.” he chuckled before continuing. 

“Meanwhile Class 1-B has various quirks with far greater use than hardening. Tell me why do you bother talking to someone so beneath you? Of course, I suppose I should be asking myself the same thing, for why am I wasting my breath speaking to members of Class 1-A?” he declared, once more he had one hand to his chest and the other waving around. “Do you ever give it a rest man!? Sheesh! My quirk is useful, I don’t give a damn what you say!” Kirishima declared as he grit his teeth and stomped his foot.

Clearly, he wasn’t happy, unlike you who actually started chuckling at Monoma’s display. For some odd reason, you always found him humorous, the sheer rivalry he created was something to be admired because the simple fact was, he got people pumped up. Monoma’s eyes shifted to you and it seemed he was frozen for a moment, damn. He hated how the sound of your voice, nay even your laugh, caused his heart to accelerate and his cheeks to flush.

“This guy is pretty hilarious,” you said as you approached Monoma and wrapped your arm around his shoulders. “Ah!” he cried out, his cheeks dusted a faint red color. Why did he feel so happy to be close to you, to have you touch him? It was unforgivable! A form of witchcraft! “Don’t be too upset Kirishima!” you tried to reason with the angry redhead, who looked at you with a confused expression.

“What do you mean don’t be upset?! This guy is really annoying, how can you laugh at his antics? He’s like the devil of U.A. or something.” you chuckled softly, “I don’t know about that, but he does bring the best out of all of us. Think about it, he isn’t afraid to challenge others. To make each and every one of us bring to the table our best, that’s not a bad thing.” you turned to face Monoma. “Right?” you questioned and he slowly looked at you, his lips parted and an unreadable expression on his face.

He needed to figure out a way out of this, to push himself away from you, the temptress. “Nay!” he declared as he pulled your arm off of him, “My threats are not to be taken lightly Class 1-A, surely you have learned that by now...however.” his eyes settled on you and he smiled. “I would like a word with you, Y/n.” Kirishima dropped his angry expression, your words had confused him but not as much as Monoma’s did. “What do you want to talk to Y/n about? I thought you hated our class and now you want to talk to Y/n alone, what gives man?” he questioned, and Monoma scoffed.

“Come now, I can be nice when I choose to. After all, Y/n did just try to reason with you. However, I understand most of your class is merely too thick-headed to grasp even the simplest of concepts! Oh, how very humiliating.” Kirishima let out a growl and grabbed your shoulder. “Better be careful with him, Y/n. I know the guy is off his rocker and maybe he doesn’t mean any harm. But keep your guard up.” you turned to Kirishima, shrugging.

“I don’t think he’s all that bad, but if you say so. I’ll try to keep my guard up, okay?” he nodded and released your shoulder before you walked up to Monoma, his eyes shifted from Kirishima to you. A pleased smile was on his face, “Well, shall we? Try to keep up, will you?” he said as he turned his back to you and began walking, you looked back to Kirishima before following Monoma. He led you away from the others and you let out a gasp as he suddenly turned and grabbed you.

For a moment, fear ran through your heart and you stumbled over your own two feet before your back hit a brick wall. Your hands immediately reached up, clasping over Monoma’s that were currently wrapping tightly around your shirt collar. “What are you doing!?” you snapped, your jaw clenching and a soft growl rumbling in your throat. Your eyes were narrowed on Monoma who merely chuckled, his head hanging low.

“Do you find it amusing to make a fool out of me? To make me feel such things and become the betrayer of Class 1-B?” your expression dropped. “What are you talking about-” he lifted his head and you gasped when his hand cupped your cheek. “You truly are beautiful, quite the jewel of Class 1-A as I stated before,” he chuckled though you still remained confused by his actions. “The same jewel…” he paused and pressed his body against yours, effectively preventing you from fighting back or attempting to escape.

Not that you were trying, this was certainly a strange situation you had found yourself in. But you highly doubted Monoma would try anything to harm you, especially with the teachers present. Though you wished you had taken Kirishima’s warning a little more seriously, as a hero you should never let your guard down. No matter who you were around, “That has stolen my heart. I like you, Y/n.” Monoma said, his voice a little shaky but somehow he managed to retain a cool attitude while confessing.

“It’s not love. No, but somehow you have stolen my heart all the same. You have made me betray my own class. A tragic Romeo and Juliet situation and it will end the same way, with heartbreak. I have prepared myself for your rejection! But I must do this first!” he declared as he grabbed your chin and tilted your head up. “What are you-mm!” your eyes went wide as Monoma stole your breath, sealing his lips over yours in a passionate kiss.

His remaining hand cupped your other cheek and he hummed contently into the kiss while you remained still, your eyes wide and your thoughts racing. Monoma had feelings for you that he expected you to reject? Was the kiss the final test to see how you truly felt or was he expecting to have his heart broken regardless? It was rather confusing, but you shouldn’t have expected anything less from him. After all, he was a strange but lovable character.

You had grown to like him during your time at U.A. unlike most of your classmates who found him rather annoying and well a pest. You felt a shiver run down your spine and you slid your hands along his back, curling your fingers into the fabric of his shirt. Sure, maybe some of the things he says could be depicted as rude, mean, and even plain unnecessary. But you still stood by your opinion, he was the only person who didn’t seem to be afraid to challenge others.

To say whatever he needed to in order to get them to bring their full power, to prove themselves the best. You admired that, along with his honesty. But did you have a crush on him like he had a crush on you? Honestly, you couldn’t say. But at this moment, all you knew was that your heart was racing and an odd feeling came over you. Your cheeks grew hot and all you were focused on was holding Monoma there and never letting go.

Your eyes slipped closed as you melted into the kiss with ease, giving a happy hum of approval as you deepened the kiss. However, Monoma noticed this and immediately pulled away. His own cheeks were red and he reached up to wipe his mouth. He almost looked angry as he stared down at you, “What...what are you doing?” he questioned and you tilted your head, first, he wanted to kiss you and now he was questioning why you returned the kiss?

Your head was beginning to hurt. “I...was returning the kiss,” you said simply and a growl came from Monoma’s throat before he grabbed your shoulders, roughly applying pressure which made you wince. “Why...you were supposed to reject me!” he exclaimed, completely ignoring the fact that his voice could reach the fellow students. “Shh.” you scolded him before letting out a sigh.

“I...I don’t know why you want me to reject you, are you used to rejection because of your personality? Because that’s not right, if you’re looking to be a hero I respect that. Despite the fact, others may not see it in you and find you to be annoying. I don’t. I genuinely like you, Monoma!” you shouted back and watched as his jaw dropped, he took a step back and clasped his hand over his mouth. His face seemed to twist into an unexplainable emotion, something between confusion, relief, and sadness.

You noticed that his eyes were getting moist, “You...but why…” he questioned, his voice just a whisper and you pouted before shrugging. “I...I can’t explain it. I mean, you’re right. Maybe I don’t like you in the sense of a crush, but I can see it working between us if you wanted to give it a try and I…” before you could say anymore Monoma turned and ran away. “Hey!” you called after him, attempting to give chase but after a few steps, you came to a halt.

Just watching as he pushed past his fellow classmates and continued to run. Many people screamed his name, including the teachers but it seemed like he wasn’t going to stop anytime soon and your heart sunk. Was this your fault or did he need time to process the fact that you implied you returned his feelings? Either way, you knew one thing. You wouldn’t give up and he couldn’t avoid you now.

After all, that was one quality Class 1-A was known for. Not hesitating and refusing to back down. You’d confront him next chance you got, corner him like he cornered you until he understood it was alright to have feelings for you. Even if it felt like he was betraying his own class, eventually he’d learn through you that it was okay. You couldn’t choose who you loved and though you now knew he wasn’t used to affection. You’d take it one step at a time, be his hero and save him. 

[recurring-polynya]

What comparisons can be made between renruki and Ichiruki? I often wondered about this.

This is such a hot button issue that as soon as I received this (perfectly polite) ask, my body tensed up and my brain went Am I being trolled?

It’s honestly a shame that there is so much bad blood behind this, because it is, in fact, a very interesting thing to talk about, and I am going to attempt to do so in good faith, because I love thinking about this kind of thing. Even though I am very openly a Renruki shipper, I love all three of these characters very much, and I think that Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship is very important! I am doing my best to be neutral, although I have not read very much Ichiruki fanfic/meta, so please give me a benefit of a doubt. Obviously, I can’t stop anyone from reblogging this and putting their own comments on it, but I have no interest in getting in debates over it, so don’t be surprised if I don’t engage.

This is both long, and I am sure some people don’t care, so I’m gonna put the rest under a cut. I have tried to hard to write this in a way that will not make anyone mad, but if you think it will make you mad, please give yourself the gift of not clicking on it.

So, what is the same between Ichigo and Renji? Lots, actually. Physically, they are both tall, strong, and have ridiculously colored spiky hair. They are outwardly grumpy, but secretly have soft, gooey centers. Neither one of them is dumb, but they are both dumbasses. They are protectors: they would rather take any amount of pain or damage onto themselves than see a loved one hurt. Their friends are everything to them, and that goes triple for Rukia.

How are they different, then? There are three major bullets:

- Ichigo is alive. Renji is dead. Perhaps this is a little flip, but Renji belongs to same world that Rukia does, and Ichigo does not. This is not a value judgment, it is just a fact: If Rukia ends up with Renji, she stays where she is. If she ends up with Ichigo, either Rukia or Ichigo have to make a huge change. I will get back to this.

- Youth vs. Experience. Ichigo is a 15-year old boy, as we are told about 1000 times. There is some mystery over how old Rukia and Renji are, but they have graduated from secondary education and are currently employed. I think it’s safe to assume that they are roughly close in age to each other, but I think Rukia may perceive Renji as seeming older than herself-- he graduated from school, and she didn’t; he’s on his third squad transfer, whereas she’s hasn’t budged from her initial, entry-level job, and he’s now middle management. However, the arc of the story we don’t get to see, is that over the timeskips, Rukia not only catches up to, but surpasses him. Also, not for nothing, but I think that in the same way Rukia is immediately drawn to Ichigo because of his resemblance to Kaien, I think she is also drawn to him for his resemblance to Young Renji-- a grumpy, prickly young man, leaking self-doubt from every pore, whom she is more able to be generous towards through the lens of age and experience. (And I think this comparison could support either ship)

- Ichigo is the protagonist. Rules don’t apply to him. Fate breaks on his sword. He represents the triumph of love or hard work or dreams or what have you over the cruel millstone of the world. Renji, on the other hand, is firmly bound to the rules of the world in which he inhabits. In fact, that is arguably the entire purpose of his character. Renji’s fights are often used to set the stakes of the conflict-- ah, Renji got mangled, this guy must be tough. In the Soul Society Arc, he is an antagonist because he is doing what he is supposed to. In the TYBW, Kubo literally throws the two of them in a pit to fight some asauchi just to make the point that Renji is a shinigami and Ichigo is something else.

Let’s jump over to Rukia for a moment. Rukia is a great character, one of my favorite characters in any media. Rukia contains multitudes. She is tough and strong, but often melancholy. She can be beautiful and elegant, but she also lies and breaks rules and tried to put Kon in a dead cat once. Emotionally, she likes to present a cool front, but she has a big, loving heart, and she feels deeply. As a character, all of this makes her very easy to project onto, which is why I think so many people OTP her with someone, no matter who.Some people choose to try to make her into one of these things or another, and some people try to keep her as the full bundle of contradictions that she is.

There is no romantic content in canon Bleach. There is no romantic content in canon Bleach. There are many, many scenes that can be interpreted romantically, but no one goes on a date, no one kisses. Ichigo gazes longingly into the eyes of all his friends, it’s just a thing he does. Orihime does explicitly proclaim at one point that she loves Rukia, although I suspect that in the original Japanese, it’s the word for “friendship love” and not the very-rarely-used “romantic love.” I have seen a scene-for-scene comparison of IchiHime “romantic moments” only it’s Chad and Uryuu (which I choose to believe supports IshiChad, rather than negates IchiHime, but we may all choose for ourselves!) My point is that shipping in Bleach is a DIY craft, which, when we’re all having a good time, is what makes it so fun.

So, bringing all of this together, given that Ichigo and Renji are fairly similar characters, why are the ships so different, and what makes one appeal to some people and be abhorrent to someone else?

I think about romance stories a lot. I actually took a class on romance novels in college and I just really like to think about the mechanics of stories. In the truest sense of the word, “romance” is about extremes-- about sailing the high seas and wearing ostentatious shirts and shouting off a cliff in a rainstorm. When we talk about romance as a genre, the characters tend to behave in a way that we would not prefer our actual romantic partners do, but the over-the-top nature of it makes us swoon and our hearts drop -- except when it doesn’t. What is heart-breakingly romantic to some people can be a huge turn-off to others. The biggest fight my husband and I have ever had was over a kdrama. The male lead was hiding his identity from the female lead in order to help her, and I found it all to be deeply, deeply romantic, and my husband turned to me and said “He is being dishonest with her and I think it’s morally wrong” and I almost died.

So, let’s break down some of the themes of the two ships, which I think gets at the meat of what you were asking. Now, like I said, shipping is very participatory, and anyone may have their own ideas of how these relationships would be, and I am a big fan of “a great writer can get away with anything”, but in broad strokes, I think that these are the themes of the two ships:

IchiRuki:

Love conquers all/ Love is enough to overcome differences of class, age, lifestyle, geography, etc.

Instant connections/Love at first sight

Love is a force of the universe that cannot be denied or defeated

Young love

Grand gestures

Your partner changes you (in a positive way)/You effect change in your partner

Your partner is the center of your world

Your partner is the one person who can get through to you/You are the one person who can get through to your partner

Banter

Dumbassery

RenRuki:

Love takes work

Best friends to lovers

Second chances/Broken things can be repaired

Love is a choice

You improve with age

Shared experiences build love

Pining

Working together with your partner to create a mutually satisfying life together

Your partner enriches your world, but your independence is maintained

Banter

Dumbassery

There is also some degree of character interpretation at work, too-- there seems to be a huge degree of disagreement between fans as to whether:

a) Ichigo enjoys his normal, human life, and even though he do anything to protect what he loves, he would prefer to live a human existence with his human friends and family. He credits Rukia will helping him realize his strength and powers.

b) Ichigo is unsatisfied with his human life and that meeting Rukia opened the doorway to a life of excitement and adventure, on top of being given the strength to protect his loved ones.

As far as Ichigo pairings go, I think that most IchiHime people fall in category (a) and most IchiRuki (and GrimmIchi) shippers fall in (b). In both cases, peoples’ ships align with their view of what makes Ichigo happy. Most IchiRuki content I have seen  seems to feature Ichigo moving to Soul Society, rather than Rukia moving to Karakura. Rukia pretty explicitly indicates at the end of the Soul Society Arc that she wants to stay in Soul Society, plus she’s got a pretty established life there. Contrast that to the story of Isshin and Masaki-- Isshin seems pretty flippant and disaffected about his life in Soul Society; it doesn’t seem like it was a particularly hard choice for him to give up being a shinigami. Also, it’s pretty clear that what Isshin did was illegal, and I’m not sure there would be an easy way for Rukia to just say “WELP, I’m off to live as a human, smell you jerks later.”

To try to wrap things up, I think the actual dynamics of an IchiRuki or RenRuki relationship would be very similar, actually. They would banter a lot and dive headfirst into danger and support each other no matter what. Byakuya would treat either guy with the vaguest, most grudging amount of respect. The primary perpetual, unresolved argument between Rukia and Ichigo would be “The Living World is dumb/Soul Society is dumb”, whereas with Rukia and Renji, it would be “Squad 6 is dumb/Squad 13 is dumb wait no I didn’t mean that Captain Ukitake is an angel.”

Personally, I headcanon Renji as being more able than Ichigo to step back and be the support person in the relationship (see that bullet about Ichigo being the protag), so I think that RenRuki could manage to run a functional household, whereas Ichigo and Rukia would just go on adventures until they got arrested for tax evasion.

*For the record, I am very pro-IchiRenRuki, except that they would be even worse at running a household. It’s just Renji trying to explain how a chore wheel works while Rukia and Ichigo walk out the door on him.

[signofwolf]

Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas – book review

Series: Throne of Glass #7 Genre: YA, Fantasy Theme: Fae, magic users, war Warnings: mentions of torture, imprisonment Star rating: 0,5/10

Why did I pick this up?: I wanted to end this horrible series once and for all.

[Heavy spoilers ahead]

To make myself clear, before this book I quite liked this series. It wouldn’t place in my top 100 books, not even close, but it was a pleasant pageturner to listen to in audiobooks when working.

Language

Let’s start slow. I lack the words to express how much I hate the words ‘male’, ‘female’ and ‘mate’ after this series. Not even gonna try to express my trauma. But these 3 gems aside, Sarah J. Maas needs a dictionary. Or compress her work to a manageable size. Everything sang, Everyone melted, Every man roared, Every woman trembled, Everyone was unleashing themselves at least once a chapter (number of chapters: 122) ). And now I know definitely too much about Yrene’s ‘womb’. I know so much…

Dynamism

I thought that was a book about a war with heavy action content. Oh boy, I was wrong. This 984-pages monstrosity has maybe 5 pages of action. If you squint.

Every sequence, where by design action should take place was followed by one of two scripts:

Few sentences of action and then a few pages long internal monologue. Often repeated with the same character after the next few sentences of action, or with the next character and then the next (sometimes the first character made a second appearance and then everything would go all over again). And the word ‘character’ used in these sentences is not because I’m rambling. This book is written that way!

Few sentences of action and then action stops, and we are graced by a few pages long conversation. In the middle of a battle. Or spying. Or in Erawan’s chambers, when his castle is going down, and he is running up the stairs...

Time

Leaving alone the fact that apparently all series took less than a year (till this book I estimated the plot for about 3 years, Wiki told me it was 2, but Maas knows best), because that is a can of worms in itself. Time in this one? I honestly have no idea. There were many ‘few weeks of travel’ parts with two main groups of POVs. Personally my only time indicator was ‘Orynth won’t fall till Aelin gets here’. But nothing just fit. And I saw Lost Song when in the last episode we as the audience realized that our two POVs parallel storylines are in reality millennia apart. Lost Song made sense.

Emotional loading

… there wasn’t any. Really, it was like reading a milk label. Every time the scene was potentially emotionally impactful, Maas went ahead to overexplaining EVERY. GOD. DAMMED. THING. And it was abso-fucking-lutely everything. ‘Emotional dilemma? Let’s current POV explain it! 2 pages should be enough… Damn maybe it wasn’t enough. I know! I’ll switch POVs and explain it through the other character!’ <= My impression of Maas’ thought process. I’m fairly sure that the record was 7 POVs explaining the same thing in the row, but I was blacking out a little, so I cannot be sure.

And if that wasn’t enough, this book had a second way to defuse tension: random-plastic-repetitive-badly_written-smut. Really badly written and really repetitive. How could you not feel the spicy bits, when Manon (cruel, self assured 100+years old witch-queen) reacts the same in bed as Elide (20years old, virgin, ex-slave). And the rest of them were the same, there weren’t ANY distinctions.Just copy-paste.

The next point in current case: Someone died, it was impactful, I really liked the character, so I got sad. But then 2 of our characters came out of the room with a body, and after a paragraph of grieving they started making out, and then I was regaled with 2-pages-long description of melting cores. That was the place then this book stopped being badly written, and started being distasteful.

Characters

Remember when I was writing about switching POVs (which is 15(!!!) In the whole book. Oh and an omniscient narrator in places when our current POV was grieving too much to overthink something, but Maas still wanted to inform us about something)? They were all savagely murdered in the worst way: character mutilation. Somewhere between books our maybe-not-that-original but colorful and interesting characters became carbon copies of each other. I have no idea how many times I didn’t realise there was a POV switch. The only indicator was a change of pronoun, or when Maas was telling us the name of a current narrator. These were the only ways. And if you can't distinguish if you are in Dorian’s head or in Manon’s, that is the sign of a really BAD writing.

Romance

…there wasn't any. In all this book there wasn't any naturally progressing romantic scene. There were Maas’ endgame pairings which were sexing or pinning. As the author Maas loves to write about soulmates. And it’s not a bad thing itself. When I want some fluffy story I often tag ‘soulmates’ in AO3 and voila, +10 to good mood. But God above, it is not cute when every pair you write about are ‘true mates’ just BECAUSE. It is the only way Maas sees a relationship, as a fated pairing, written in the wake of the universe by the God himself. There is no choice, nor the work to put in it. They are the author's OTP and that means that they are perfect and they should have children right now. Point in case:

Guy was treating a girl like a shit on his sole, including throwing her naked out of tent, on a snow, with their friends present, all the while abusing her verbally in a worst way. But it’s okay, because when she almost died he realised his mistakes and apologised. Two scenes later, he was forgiven, because... fated mates?

The pathos

I know that many people don't like this type of scenes, but it's not my case. I’m reading by picturing images and not repeating words. I like sequences that I can imagine to be grand and glorious, even if they are a little corny. That said, the pathos scenes were the most disappointing ones for me. Maas likes to write parts that are more picturesquely exalted than logically possible [point in case: meeting of 5 armies/forces in the random patch of sand in Empire of Storms, and it being painted as ‘an Aelin’s great plan’. I laughed myself silly at that. But not taking logic and all the plot holes into consideration that was a nicely looking scene. In Kingdom of Ash that wasn’t the case. I would say that the author wanted to paint us a renaissance painting every 20 pages or so. In my opinion, every time she failed miserably. Each and every of those scenes was or to farfetched to be even remotely realistic, and evidently written only for a sake of the picture, or just plainly stupid.

Example, and it’s so priceless a scene, that I just need to share it: Battle of Orynth, 25th day or so (time in this book doesn’t exist), the 13. sacrificed themselves (like thousands before them but hush). And then, time stops: grieving Manon is going through the city, they open the gates for her (yes, the siege is still on), she goes to the place where they died, after her come out all of our main heroes, and half the city itself with ‘flowers, rocks and precious possessions’ and they lay it there in a tribute to these brave (evil till 2 months ago) witches. I honestly can’t remember when was the last time I saw such an abstract scene. It’s a material for an essay in itself. No, I could not take it seriously.

Additionally, it's hard to make an impact as every damn sentence is grand and lofty. In the end it became truly pathetic, Aelin vs Maeve was unreadable.

Character deaths:

Let's make a quick count: main characters in a series at the start of KoA: 12 secondary characters in a series at the start of KoA: 20ish minor and total background: a lot more

Death count: main: 0 secondary: 3 minor: 2 (11 if we try very hard)

Resurrections: 1 (possibly 3, but not gonna analyze it)

Did you feel emotions of this impossible war against this all-encompassing, all-powerful, invincible, immortal, cunning Evil with armies from 3 continents and 2 worlds? No? Me neither.

Oh well, but there were a lot of deaths of ordinary soldiers. I’m quite certain that all of Terrasen’s army was at least twice brought back to life for them to die in these numbers.

Logic or lack thereof

Oh, and let’s not forget about the Deus ex machina army of unbeatable, magical elves on wolves, from legends, living for the past thousands of years in the unreachable lands of the north, because they managed to run from the surprise attack 10 years earlier. Did I mention that they came from portals, which the whole book was telling us were impossible to make in this scenario? After the previous saviour army was already fighting there for a day? And that Aelin didn’t know they would come for sure (how did she contact them again?)? Even though they were waiting in the full armours for these portals? Ah, and also: that army didn’t do anything. They just came and fought for maybe 4 minutes. And there were just so many things like that!

And if we’re on the topic of armies I present you: ‘My favourite absurd-list in the series: allied armies’.

(As a comparison, in A Song of Ice and Fire by J.R.R Martin, in 7 kingdoms of Westeros, at the peak of war there were 7 forces present, but not all were even engaged in a war.)

First the ones that made sense:

Armies of Terrasen’s Lords (counted as one, not gonna nitpick)

The Khaganate army (also counted as one)

Galan Ashryver’s armada

Whitethorn fraction

Rebel Ironteeth witches

…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’?

And there were some that did not:

Ansel of Briarcliff’s army

The Silent Assassins

Mycenians

Wild Men of the Fangs

Army of magical elves on wolves

And the ‘I don’t even know’ category:

Crochan witches

Overpowering and overreaching

Section title tells it all. The stakes were too high. I was honestly waiting for Aelin to become Super Saiyan and start to throw planets at Maeve and Erawan. I won’t spoil if this happened.

In my opinion it could be a really great series, if our list of villains ended with Arobynn and King of Adarlan, and the list of Aelin titles with an assassin and a princess. We could have had two main fight plots: one emotional with Arobynn, when Aelin would have to face a damage he had done to her, and overcome it. And the second one, with freeing Terrasen from Adarlan’s rule. That’s it. There was an asshole, power hungry king, who feared magic and wanted to rule the East part of a continent. A lot of plot, but not so much that we stopped to care, or didn’t have time to cover everything. We could really get to know what Terrasen and his people were like and not JUST GET TOLD that it was ‘the greatest place in the world’ every damn 20 pages.

Plus…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’? It's a REALLY valid question.

Climaxes

IIf I have to write a list of things that disappointed me in this book, this review would be thrice its current size, but one of the worst grievances I have is the complete lack of acknowledging the plotlines that had been started. This book series has overall 4 372 pages (not counting novellas) and 12 main characters (still not gonna address this). All of them had their storylines and arcs but if they weren't tied up in the previous instalments they wouldn’t be in this one. I get it, Maeve and Erawan got beaten (in an extremely unsatisfactory way) but they were only a background in this series' plots.

Aelin Well, Aelin was one of 3 people (+2 paragraf-long insertion from Nesryn and Chaol) who got their own POV’s after the battle (second was technically Rowan, who was ‘Aelin’s POV outside of Aelin’.The third Dorian, who got almost a full two pages). And from this we got that: she got crowned, Aedion got his bond and that Maas have no idea how the city looks after weeks of siege. In her case what angered me the most was ‘Terrasen is my home’ subplot. Only in this tome we read at least 3 times that Aelin will be okay with dying, if only she gets to see Terrasen one last time, or if she get to die on Terrassen soil. But you know what? Maas forgot to write the scene where Aelin actually ‘comes in’.

Mannon Didn't get her own POV after the battle, but here’s what we’ve got: She is going to the Wastes with Croachans and Ironteeth. Whait. What? Yes, that was the ending of this 500+ years of feud. They fought together and they decided to unite their two species, completely forgetting more than half a millenia of slaughter. I can only hope that there were at least some talks behind the scenes… NO! F*** NO! This isn’t how it works!

Rowan, Dorian, Chaol, Yrene, Lysandra, Aedion, Lorcan, Elide, Nesryn, Sartaq Lived happily ever after

Secondary minor and total background characters Survived (I acknowledge that they would be ignored in most books’ epilogues, but this abomination is almost 1000 pages of nothing!!).

Good Scenes

That saying, this book actually had 4 good scenes:

Crochan witches go to war - gathering-forces-to-fight trope, which is my *love-always trope* so I’m not even sure if it was relatively good, or if I’m just a slut for this trope. It was still only a paragraph long though.

[recurring] The children’s tale Aelin repeated to herself to remember who she is.

‘Lorcan Lochan’ - the only marginally funny scene in the whole book

I actually found Darrel making Evangeline his heir charming. Even if circumstances were far-fetched at least.

But the words crime of this book? It was agonisingly, mind-numbingly boring. If the overexplaining and repetitions were to be taken out I highly doubt that there would be 300 pages left.

For these 33 hours of audiobook I suffered through I give it half a star. Because Abraxos exist.

Please see my garishly accurate cover on my instagram! You can also like it there :D

instagram | goodreads

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG169 (nice)~

- So, no cookie for guessing Desolation with this one, but big kudos to those who guessed that the episode would be reminiscent of the Grenfell Tower fire. Oh boy, what a domain it was ;; Desolation episodes have always felt extremely cruel and this one went veeerrry harsh on the torture and despair, even before the physical pain of it (as Jon said, “Some fears don’t need to be intensified; only manifested”). I really felt the nightmare-logic in this one, the feeling of being trapped and discovering/realising the rules and parameters as they became relevant; a little scenario that felt repeated, again and again, beginning badly (home as a prison, a toxic place that one cannot help but love because it’s familiar and theirs) and only getting worse, with Sabina losing everything (parents, possessions, physical safety), while at the same time… everything was rooted in something very concrete, very logical, very relatable, laced with poverty and the loss of agency.

- The edge in Jon’s voice for this one was terrifying (and so was the soundscaping, expressing what was being said), and it seemed… on point for The Desolation. Jude directly called him out about the fact that he himself was enjoying the fear but, even before that, the way Jon narrated Sabina’s nightmare really hammered in the cruelty and sadistic glee of the domain feeding on her ;; The mentions of the “landlord” were especially chilling, given a rhythmic, almost casually fatalistic c’est-la-vie tone to the whole ordeal (… while no, clearly, it wasn’t, and even if the fire had been accidental, there should have been ways and options to make it out… but no, due to an accumulation of negligence/neglect turning into something criminal):

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: “But the door latch never really aligned properly, you see; the landlord always said he was going to get it fixed and… it refuses to open. […] The window frame never really opened properly, you see; the landlord always said he was going to get it fixed. […] But the fire escape was always really rusty, you see; the landlord always said he was going to replace it. […] Falling back into the inferno that is now her home, Sabina dashes over to the laughably small fire extinguisher the landlord begrudgingly provided; it is sputtering, and empty.”

(… Jon impersonating the parents’ screams sadly took me out of it on first listen, because the “We’re BURNING” immediately made me think of Jonny-playing-Galahad in HNOC’s “Hellfire” and the “We’re FALLING into the flames”, which was a bit of a mood-whiplash x”) It worked better on second listen, and again, WHAT is Jon currently feeding to the tape recorders…)

- Same as in other domains, memories were clearly rewritten or only made accessible to serve the dominant Fear at stake:

(MAG163) ARCHIVIST: “Next to him, Charlie saw Ryan, who he’d known since childhood – though the other details were hazy. Ryan gave him a thumbs-up and an encouraging smile – before his face exploded inwards to a sniper’s bullet, peppering the boat with shards of bone and gore.”

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: “There was never a time before the disease, no matter what the old bastards tell you. It has always been in the village, always festered in the dark corners where nobody could stomach to check, where good neighbours wouldn’t dream to speculate.”

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: “Its pace remaining as it ever was, it does not care for coming pains as you are torn. Doesn’t it know who you are? No…  And soon… neither will you. […] You will be someone again, someday. […] “I’m still Hannah!” you try to scream, but are you? No. Perhaps there’s some Veronica as fragments there, or Julian, or Anya, but… no. You feel the last of names and “who” you might have been be torn away and borne towards new bodies. New pages, blank; determined to be people.”

(MAG166) ARCHIVIST: “When had the crushing pressure in his chest become literal? When had the empty promise of the horizon finally vanished completely, replaced by the pitch darkness of this “forever wall of earth”? Sam did not know. Time had no meaning here. […] His existence was static, and eternal. Immutable. “Sleep” was only a memory, because even the prospect of unconsciousness might have made his present state slightly more bearable. Food as well, he knew, must be a thing, for he could feel the hunger, but his imagination failed to picture it. The only smell he knew was the damp, and the dirt.”

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: “How long as she lived here? How long have these cramped, dingy rooms in the back of this sprawling rundown tenement been the place her heart calls home? She cannot recall, but long enough for her to grow into love for it, to cherish every rusted appliance, every crumbling piece of plasterboard, every – flickering – lightbulb. […] Sabina cannot… picture their faces, but knows that should they wake to see the state of the place… their anger would be blistering. […] What floor was her flat on again? Surely, it can’t be this high. […] Limping and desperate, she turns to see her furniture in flames, the bookshelves full of memories, that she can’t quite place [STATIC RISES] but knows are precious to her, curl and float away as ash. The photos on the wall of her family whose faces seem indistinct but she knows that she loves, begin to blacken, as the glass pops out of the frame.”

For Sabina, memories were only useful to represent what she would lose. (;; It’s one of the things that still makes me the most uneasy with this season: the fact that regular people are deprived of who they used to be, the memories of who they were… while Jon&Martin are beaming with their Uniqueness. People are trapped in these nightmares but, by comparison, it feels a bit like they’re already “dead” and interchangeable, only allowed to remember things and be reshaped to better fear and feed the Powers…)

- I was wondering what would be the point of avatars in this new world (if they would still feed their patrons, or be absolutely superfluous, etc.). The fact that Jude’s death apparently didn’t perturb the Desolation domain very much tends to prove that they aren’t necessary, so it really seems like the keyword was what Oliver said last episode:

(MAG168) ARCHIVIST: “Sometimes, for some small variety, I will allow Danika to brush against another root: the final fate of someone she loves. […] And with each one, she knows her steps forward bring closer not only her own end, but all of theirs. Time walks forward with her, but she has not the strength to stop it. Her fate draws ever-nearer, filling me with the joy of watchful fear, but also my own concerns.”

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: It’s a maze in there, deliberately so. People running, desperately struggling for fire escapes only to find them blocked. … We won’t get lost, though. I know the route. […] “Do you smell smoke? Do you smell… the creeping ruin of a life, a stalking creature of unmaintained electricals, of cheap insulation, of cut-corners and missing fire alarms and unenforced safety regulations? Do you see it creeping under the door to your bedroom as you sleep, the burning coals of its eyes, regarding you in the supposed safety on your home; not indifferent, but hungry, eager to take everything from you, to burn down your life in any sense it can reach? Can you hear the crackling promise of kindled despair, that it whispers into your uneasy, dreaming ear?”

“Variety”? Creativity? Diversifying people’s suffering for the Powers’ enjoyment, and above all The Eye’s? I… wonder what that would mean regarding Jon, as The Eye’s favourite, right now… ;;

- I got genuinely surprised that Jon mentioned Arthur Nolan as still alive, because I thought he had been done for since March 2014 and the events recalled by Jordan Kennedy:

(MAG145) GERTRUDE: So. Now, Diego has taken over… Where does that leave you? ARTHUR: [SNORT] Slumlording over a nest. GERTRUDE: Oh. A nest of… what? ARTHUR: Found a mass of the Crawling Rot growing, a while back. Managed to get a hold of the property before it became too big. Gotta wait ‘til it blossoms before we can properly burn it. So until then… just playing landlord.

(MAG055) JORDAN: Time seemed to move slowly as he reached for the ashtray on the arm of the chair and picked up a pack of matches. He struck one and without even looking at me, he gently pressed the small flame to the centre of the scar. His flesh caught fire, immediately, the flames spreading across his body like rippling water. The armchair caught, then the floor, and then I was running out of the building before the rolling inferno could come at me as well.

(MAG169) MARTIN: Right… I just assumed this would be… Who was that landlord guy? ARCHIVIST: Arthur Nolan. He’s here, he has a… part of it, but it’s… huge. Bigger than you could believe. There’s so much fear in there…

It had felt odd to die from self-immolation, for a Desolation avatar, but we hadn’t seen him since then, and he had lived his time – given how Eugene Vanderstock was aware that he wouldn’t last forever (MAG139: “So, me? I was born in ‘36 – I know, I don’t look seventy. But burning the candle at all ends does have a few advantages. Until you burn out entirely, at least. It’s hard to say how much I’ve got left in me; how much longer my sacrifices can buy me. But when I go… you better believe I’m going big – and it is going to hurt.”), I had assumed that Arthur setting himself on fire was because his time has reached its limit and/or that his life had been tied to The Hive’s nest somehow by Gertrude, and that Jane becoming The Hive meant his final demise or something? But apparently, no, he was still around. I wonder what he was doing during the following four years? (If it was a matter of Desolation avatars respawning in the domain, I’d have expected for Agnes to be mentioned, but she wasn’t, so…)

- Speaking of Arthur, it’s hilarious how much this statement hammered in the confluence of Corruption/Desolation when it comes to one’s life crumbling, getting devastated:

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: “Maybe the dirt and grime builds up to such a degree that the stench begins to infect your soul, or an infestation of moths or ants or bed bugs stretches itself throughout the very structure of your home, until it feels like your skin is squirming with them. […] How long as she lived here? How long have these cramped, dingy rooms in the back of this sprawling rundown tenement been the place her heart calls home? She cannot recall, but long enough for her to grow into love for it, to cherish every rusted appliance, every crumbling piece of plasterboard, every – flickering – lightbulb. Even as the widening cracks and spreading mould fill her heart with dread, they gently, slowly, inch by inch, approach the mildewed room where her parents lie sleeping.”

… Given Arthur’s utter disdain for the idea that The Lightless Flame could be assimilated to anything Corruption-adjacent:

(MAG145) ARTHUR: Not like I can vent to the others about what a prat Diego is! Got a lot of funny ideas. Still calls The Lightless Flame “Asag”, like he was when he was first researching it. I just want to tell him to get over it – I mean, [FASTER AND FASTER] Asag was traditionally a force of destruction, sure, but as a church, we very much settled on burning in terms of the… face we worship, and some… fish-boiling Sumerian demon doesn’t really match up, does it?! Plus, there’s a lot of disease imagery with Asag that I’ll reckon is… way too close to Filth for my taste, but, but no, he read it in some ~ancient tome~, so that’s that– GERTRUDE: Well, I can’t say I– ARTHUR: –reckons he always knows best, ‘cause he’s read a few books, well. Big. Deal! Way I see it, if a writer can’t even save themselves, they probably don’t have a lot worth knowing! Find me one so-called “expert” on all of this who didn’t end up regretting all of it!

I hope your ego and convictions are shattering and that this is your personal hell, Arthur. Diego was RIGHT.

- Regarding Jon and Martin’s own domains, Jon raised the possibility that they were metaphorically trapped in their own quest, and it follows the comments about how they were outside of the box:

(MAG164) MARTIN: Are we safe, traveling like this? ARCHIVIST: Yes… Yes, sort of, we’re… I don’t know how to phrase it, we’re… something between a pilgrim and a moth. We can walk through these little worlds of terror, watching them; separate, and untouched. MARTIN: [NERVOUS CHUCKLING] That’s not as comforting as you might think. ARCHIVIST: I like it better than the alternative…!

(MAG165) MARTIN: But. You said we needed to go through these places. … Is that even going to work here? ARCHIVIST: Uh… [EXHALE] We need to go through them… metaphorically. MARTIN: Mm… ! ARCHIVIST: Psychologically, we need to… “experience” them. […] MARTIN: Jon, what are you talking about? NOT!SASHA: [FURIOUS SNARLS] ARCHIVIST: She can’t touch us. We’re so far beyond her now. NOT!SASHA: [FURIOUS SNARLS] ARCHIVIST: She’s just like everything else here, rules by The Eye.

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: Like I said, I can’t see the future. It wouldn’t free them, if that’s what you’re asking. “Free” doesn’t really exist in this place. MARTIN: Apart from us. ARCHIVIST: I suppose. I–in a sense, though… [CHUCKLING] how much of that is because we are trapped in our own quest to– MARTIN: Okay, let’s, let’s not dive into another… ontological debate right now, not here.

… and 1°) they’re still technically under The Eye – the whole world is its domain right now; 2°) Obligatory “WHAT IS MARTIN’S DOMAIN” (a fixed place? Web, Lonely? The Institute-Panopticon too? Jon as “the Archive”, having ~trapped~ Martin?), 3°) … big Oouft because if they were to consider their quest as the “domain” trapping them… a quest is made around a goal. Jon presented it as a “doomed quest” which was already worrisome, Oliver highlighted that the current system would ultimately collapse on its own, The Buried’s domain taunted its victims with constant hope, so… if the goal kept being unreachable, but still “almost” out of reach, Jon and Martin could be trapped a bit more literally than just on an ontological plane.

- ;w; Martin is afraid of fire…

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: … You said you were onboard. MARTIN: I was! I am; I just… thought… ARCHIVIST: It wouldn’t hurt? MARTIN: … That we’d be safe. ARCHIVIST: I never said– MARTIN: I know! I know, okay, I just… [SOMETHING SHATTERS] Look, I j–, I just don’t want to get burned, alright? It’s, it’s like my least favourite pain ever. ARCHIVIST: Is that… a joke? MARTIN: No, no! Okay? I… I legitimately hate burns, alright, they’re–they’re awful, and they scar horribly, and they just, it– It–it just makes me sick, I–I hate it. Hate it!

* Is it related to the fact that he had to care for his mom from a very young age, and that accidents happened…? That makes his decision to burn statements in MAG117-MAG118 even braver – fire that he could control on his terms, but still, in close proximity to him.

* … Actually, Elias implanting in his mind the truth of how his mother saw him, while Martin had just burned a few statements and was threatening to keep doing it, and when the smell of the fire might have still be floating around at that moment miiiight have added fuel (ha) to Martin’s own fear. Associating bad things and pain to fire.

* Wooft that he hates burns and what they leave, when he’s probably been walking kilometres holding Jon’s all-burned-to-fuck hand.

* YEAH ALSO, that line about how pain can leave a scar even if there is no physical mark to show for it? Is valid on its own but, given Martin’s past, resonates even more when keeping in mind his relationship with his mother and the way Elias inflicted his powers on him and Melanie (MAG118: “Do you want to know what she sees when she looks at you?”). It’s really not empty words, he knows from experience.

* … Same thing as the contrast between MAG117 (“This way I finally get to do something. It’s gonna hurt, but… I’m ready. And I want to. Also, I get to burn some stuff, so that cool!”) and MAG118 (“Don’t. burn. any more. statements.”) around fire: reality not as great as when plans were made, when it comes to the “smiting”, uh.

* … Obligatory “This Is How Web!Martin Can Still Win” since The Desolation and The Web were extremely at odds, and Martin… really was uncomfortable and panicking in this zone, when he had been keeping it together in previous ones (he got very afraid in the Slaughter’s, but it was the first and Martin was discovering the rules):

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “The compromise we came to… was Hill Top Road. We knew it was a stronghold of The Web, full of other children Agnes’s age. We would supervise from a distance, but were confident she would be in no danger. The Mother of Puppets has always suffered at our hand – all the manipulation and subtle venom in the world means nothing against a pure and unrestrained force of destruction and ruin.”

(Though to be fair: Martin presented himself as a “luxury smörgåsbord” for Fears in MAG117 since he was “just afraid all the time”, was always the Assistant Of Many Fears throughout the series, so it doesn’t have to be significatively a Web indicator – it’s mostly that, well, alright, so Martin can still feel specific, personal fears.)

- … And meanwhile: we went from Jon really casually forgetting that he was using his powers and knew more than he mundanely should have (the beginning of MAG167) to taking a moment to remember that Martin is not omniscient nor a mind-reader, not processing that pain (even temporary and without long-lasting damage) is a genuine factor, and admitting blankly that he’s feeding from this world, which, oops:

(MAG167) [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: Help us with what? MARTIN: ‘xcuse me? ARCHIVIST: Annabelle, help us with “what”? Our–our, our journey, killing Elias, vanishing the Entities – what? [FOOTSTEPS STOP] MARTIN: Please don’t do that. ARCHIVIST: Do what…? Oh! Oh. Right, I, I see, yes. [STATIC FADES] Well, I– … [FOOTSTEPS RESUME] Sorry. MARTIN: It doesn’t… feel great, having someone looking inside your head…! […] I mean, I don’t want to keep secrets from you, but– ARCHIVIST: You should at least… be able to. MARTIN: Basically, yeah…! ARCHIVIST: I–I suppose that’s fair. MARTIN: It’s just… It’s weird, knowing that you can… know literally everything I think and feel– ARCHIVIST: Right… MARTIN: –especially since you’re not exactly the most open of people. Emotionally, I mean.

(MAG169) MARTIN: … Seriously? You don’t– … It’s on fire, Jon, it’s– ARCHIVIST: Yeah, uh… MARTIN: It’s a burning building! ARCHIVIST: Yes, it is. MARTIN: That’s on fire! ARCHIVIST: Yes. MARTIN: … Right. You are aware that traditionally, wading into a flaming inferno is actually considered bad for your health? ARCHIVIST: Yes, Martin. It will be fine. MARTIN: Alright. I just wanted to check. So. Okay. We’re planning to go through… all this, so I’m guessing the fire can’t… actually burn us! Right? Jon? ARCHIVIST: Hum… MARTIN: … Jon? ARCHIVIST: Hum… Mm… MARTIN: Jon. ARCHIVIST: I–it’s complicated. MARTIN: Well, if you want me to go in there with you, then I suggest you find a way to make it simple. “Yes” or “no”, can that fire hurt us? ARCHIVIST: Define “hurt”. MARTIN: Will the fire feel hot to me? ARCHIVIST: Yes. MARTIN: Will it cause me lots of pain, if I touch it? ARCHIVIST: Yes, though not as much as– MARTIN: [SHAKILY BUT STRONG] Will it burn me alive, and kill me dead? ARCHIVIST: … No. It can’t do us any permanent harm; once we’re out, we’ll be fine. MARTIN: You are aware that intense pain can do you loads of harm, even if there’s no any physical injury! […] ARCHIVIST: I should have told you before, so… I leave the decision to you. You know my feelings on the matter. MARTIN: I do? ARCHIVIST: I… Oh, right. I–I want revenge on Jude Perry. I want to… “smite” her. Make her feel what… [SIGH] what all her victims have felt. But I’m not willing to force you to suffer for it. […] JUDE: Yeah, but you like seeing their pain, don’t you? Their fear? ARCHIVIST: … Yes.

His relation to pain is understandable as someone who got “used” to the concept of hurting himself by repeatedly getting harmed, getting marked, and accepting more injuries to reach his goals and protect/save people who were close to him (and it’s very ironic that Martin used to be portrayed as the one “always setting himself on fire to keep others warm” while Jon… selectively did and does that too). The fact he’s feeding from this world is not a new thing: Jonah had announced that Jon would be tailored for this world, Jon himself pointed it out in the trailer, Helen toyed with him by being implicit about it – what is new is the… reverence? with which Jon seemed to marvel at the Desolation domain, the glee during the statement, the deadpanness when Jude called him out on it. It felt like at the beginning of the season, Jon was expressing more guilt, more uneasiness when it came to his enjoyment of this world… and in this episode, those were absent. So is it that he’s gradually accepting it? Or that he was trying to make a point to Martin about himself, about the fact that he is also (objectively) a monster and needs Martin to keep him in check if he doesn’t want to turn out like the others? No idea, but I feel like something is happening and building up about it;;

(… Was Jon feeding from Martin, in the Desolation domain? Martin who was miserable and afraid, coughing and in pain?)

- I LOVED the effect of Jon being in his small “bubble” of pouring out the statement, only for Martin to fight his way to get him out of it:

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: “Limping and desperate, she turns to see her furniture in flames, the bookshelves full of memories, that she can’t quite place [STATIC RISES] but knows are precious to her, curl and float away as ash. The photos on the wall of her family–” MARTIN: [MUFFLED, DISTANT] Jon! [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: “–whose faces seem indistinct but she knows–” MARTIN: [MUFFLED, DISTANT] Jon! ARCHIVIST: “–that she loves, begin to blacken, as the glass–” MARTIN: [MUFFLED, DISTANT] Jon! [COUGHS] ARCHIVIST: “–pops out of the frame.” MARTIN: [MUFFLED, DISTANT] Jon, she’s here! ARCHIVIST: “Her home is being eaten alive by–” MARTIN: [CLOSER] Please come back! ARCHIVIST: “–this devouring Desolation–” MARTIN: JON! ARCHIVIST: “–and she–” [RESOUNDING SLAP] [STATIC FADES] MARTIN: She’s here! [COUGHS]

* … So, interestingly, Martin could actually get him out of it this time, while he had mentioned in MAG167 that he couldn’t stop Jon. Was it because the “statement” was different: given by the Desolation domain in this one vs. Jon giving a statement through his “knowing” in MAG167? Is it because Martin was outside of the statement mode, not listening to it (so able to break it, since he wasn’t enthralled by it)? Or is it because Martin has been becoming stronger by getting in contact with the domains? Or because he actually could have stopped Jon in MAG167… but didn’t, because he was curious, too, and preferred to think and say that he was entirely caught in the statement?

(* With MAG160, that’s the SECOND time Martin slapped Jon to “get him back” in some way. Gotta love how Jon shaking him off from The Lonely was by breaking out the violins and making an emotional confession and baring his soul to him vs. Martin, getting Jon back into focus by screaming and slapping him. Different kind of powers when there is an emergency.)

* … I’m very interested in the fact that the tape recorder was with Jon in that tiny statement bubble, while Martin was heard muffled from the outside. It wasn’t only Jon’s POV: it was, above all, the tape recorder’s, hearing the statement more distinctly than Martin. It illustrated the situation very well (Jon being unreachable and following the story, and the outside having trouble interacting with him), but I wonder what caused the bubble to exist in the first place: the Desolation domain contaminating Jon with his story? Beholding, focusing its attention on Jon because he was acting as a vessel while narrating Sabina’s story? Or the tape recorder, since Jon was feeding it?

- It’s noteworthy that so far, avatars have all been able to identify Jon as the one having provoked this apocalypse, and not “just” as an avatar beneficiating from it the most since The Eye is his patron:

(MAG164) HELEN: What would I have to gloat about? Much as I am delighted by this brave new world in which we find ourselves, I can take no credit for it. This was all… you!

(MAG168) ARCHIVIST: “This report is being sent to: [STATIC FADES] The Great Eye, that watches all who linger in terror, and gorges itself on the sufferings of those under its unrelenting, stuporous gaze! And its Archive, which draws knowledge of this suffering unto itself. […] Perhaps once it might have horrified me, or given me some sense of pursuing the ultimate release of the world that you have damned.”

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: Hello, Jude. JUDE: Fancy seeing you both here. To what, exactly, do I owe the pleasure, the honour, of being graced by the great and powerful Archivist, harbinger of this new world, and his, uh… valet…? […] Sure, I moan about The Eye, who doesn’t? But, we’ve won! Both of us. And… that’s great!

Seems like they got a special knowledge or are able to feel his status in the new world? It’s still cracking me up that nobody ever mentions Jonah and his participation, and that he’s absolutely irrelevant (while he was the one to scheme and pushe and engineer this apocalypse in the first place).

  - Gigantic dread as soon as Jon mentioned Jude, because y i k e s: technically, we heard about avatars who felt extremely ruthless and cruel, such as John Amherst or Arthur Nolan, but those had belonged more to Gertrude’s era. Jude Perry was the one who felt the most gratuitous and deliberate in her cruelty, in Jon’s era? And despite that, was mostly staying in her lane – Jon had to look her up to find her in MAG089, she never went after him? So the idea that he was trying to confront her and bringing Martin with him (… without warning him at first), that he sought her out and was planning to kill her, felt dangerous and worrisome.

  - Gotta love, about the “valet”-thing, how:

(MAG169) JUDE: Fancy seeing you both here. To what, exactly, do I owe the pleasure, the honour, of being graced by the great and powerful Archivist, harbinger of this new world, and his, uh… valet…?

* It’s payback for Jon’s “I just… er, you were a friend of Agnes Montague, correct?” (MAG089). Opposite of mlm/wlw solidarity.

* ONCE AGAIN, after Elias, after Peter, after maybe Helen currently?, it’s an avatar underestimating Martin on sight.

  - It felt to me like Jon was mostly seeking answers or a form of peace of mind than genuinely getting revenge, or helping Jude’s victims? He insisted on his questions all through their confrontation:

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: I have a question for you. I’ve been wondering. MARTIN: [COUGHS] ARCHIVIST: Did you know what you were doing? JUDE: Excuse me? ARCHIVIST: When you burned me. Marked me with… Did you know it would lead to… all of this? [CRUMBLING] JUDE: You came all this way just to ask that? ARCHIVIST: Answer the question. MARTIN: [COUGHS] JUDE: If you want to know so badly, why don’t you just reach into my head and pull it out? ARCHIVIST: Because I want to hear you say it. Willingly. JUDE: What difference does it make if it’s– ARCHIVIST: Just answer the damn question…! JUDE: … No. I had no idea. ARCHIVIST: So why did you do it? JUDE: Why do you think? Because I wanted to hurt you. MARTIN: [COUGHS] JUDE: Because you were annoying, and I didn’t like you! So I hurt you. ARCHIVIST: And if you had? JUDE: But I didn’t. Look. I don’t care, okay? MARTIN: [COUGHS] JUDE: I just… I don’t. Raking over the past like it matters, like it means anything… The past is dead, Archivist; ashes in the wind. We’re – here – now. And that’s it! ARCHIVIST: … I suppose you’re right…!

And this time, it wasn’t a tug-o’-war of question/answer resulting in one’s death (Peter), or an impulsive murder (Not!Sasha). It was planned and controlled, and deliberate. And it didn’t feel good at all: it was really a horrible scene, with Martin coughing and coughing in the background (… and Jon not paying it any attention), the execution dragging out and taking time, because Jon was processing slowly and not… giving the final blow. I really wondered if he was going to just stop, or if it wouldn’t work, or if Martin would ask him to stop – but no, quite the contrary, it’s Martin who yelled for it to be done:

(MAG169) MARTIN: [COUGHS] [STATIC RISING: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] JUDE: Uh! Listen… Listen… [BREATHLESS CHUCKLING] You’re enjoying this, right? ‘Course you are! You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people, you want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you…! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] MARTIN: Just DIE already!! JUDE: You’re… not… better… than… me! [SCREAMS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] MARTIN: [COUGH] [PANTING] Is it…? ARCHIVIST: It’s over. … She’s gone.

;; There was something very… child-like, in Martin’s scream? You know, the kind of absolute rejection because he’s hurt and because in his mind there is no other way than for the other person to disappear for him to feel good ever again? I hadn’t paid much attention with Not!Sasha, but technically, the distorted, glitching sounds before and during the ripping of both the Not!Them and Jude sounded very close to Peter’s own static (and Martin’s, when he disappeared in front of Georgie): is it possible that he might have contributed in both cases, or amplified it? Or was it “only” Jon all through it?

- There is something very fitting in the fate of avatars, lately: the Not!Them was forced to “know” the suffering of its victims before getting ripped away from existence; Oliver was not rejecting death and knew it would come from him at some point, and Jon fittingly decided to spare him (although he was aware of the irony); Helen-the-Distortion is an ambivalent case (Jon can threaten her, but they can talk, it’s a bit of an unstable relationship the balance of which could shift at any time); Jude was inflected the suffering of her victims (and desolated herself in a way). It’s kinda fitting, for The Stranger, The End, The Spiral and The Desolation? I wonder how much the Domains are influencing Jon’s behaviour towards their agents, regardless of his personal feelings about them…

- Regarding Jon&Martin, it’s really heartbreaking that they are trying to navigate around and with each other’s feelings, trying to find the “right” decision regarding choices and boundaries… and that it backfired so badly due to the circumstances and the fact that, right now, they can’t really make an ideal, non-harming decision:

(MAG169) MARTIN: Jon, is there another way? ARCHIVIST: I mean… sort of? M–maybe? [SILENCE] MARTIN: That turn…! You, you took a hard turn after the roots back there. I knew that was a thing! Why are we here? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] It’s just… [INHALE] When you said… [SIGH] MARTIN: Jon, why have you taken us here? ARCHIVIST: Jude Perry. … This is where Jude Perry rules. […] You said you were onboard. MARTIN: I was! I am; I just… thought… ARCHIVIST: It wouldn’t hurt? MARTIN: … That we’d be safe. ARCHIVIST: I never said– MARTIN: I know! I know, okay, I just… […] ARCHIVIST: … Alright. If you really don’t want to do this, we, we can go another way. MARTIN: Really…? ARCHIVIST: Really. My revenge… [SIGH] Well, let’s just say you’re more important. […] So are we going in, or not? MARTIN: You’re– … I, you’re asking me? ARCHIVIST: I should have told you before, so… I leave the decision to you. You know my feelings on the matter. MARTIN: I do? ARCHIVIST: I… Oh, right. I–I want revenge on Jude Perry. I want to… “smite” her. Make her feel what… [SIGH] what all her victims have felt. But I’m not willing to force you to suffer for it. MARTIN: Okay, so it’s… I have to choose, do I? ARCHIVIST: Or we could sit here. [SILENCE] [DISTANT SOUND OF SOMETHING COLLAPSING] MARTIN: … No. No, I–I’m not going to choose, I d–I don’t think that’s a fair decision to put on me. It’s your revenge; your choice, not mine. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: … Fine. We go in. [DISTANT SOUND OF SOMETHING COLLAPSING] MARTIN: [SHAKY INHALE] Al–alright then…! ARCHIVIST: We’ll be fine. MARTIN: J– Lead the way. [BAG JOSTLING]

It was good of Jon to admit that he should ask Martin, and expressed reluctance at the idea of putting him in an uncomfortable position for his own revenge! It was good of Martin, to establish once again that he didn’t want to bear the burden of deciding for both of them (MAG154: “Don’t do this.” “Do what?” “Make it my decision.”), while it was explicitly about what Jon wanted! … But it also feels like Jon would have needed Martin to decide agree to go for him if the goal was for Jon to find some peace of mind with his revenge, and that Martin would have needed Jon to say that no, definitely not, his revenge wasn’t worth endangering and harming Martin.

(Though, I feel like Martin was the most hurt of them both, this time around ;; He sounded absolutely miserable at the end of the episode, and he had been the one to begrudgingly agree to follow Jon after making it clear that he wouldn’t like the experience… I’m really surprised that Jon stuck to the “revenge” concept while he knew what was at stake for Martin. Really hoping that they will talk about it soon ;;)

  - ;; Technically, Jude made a lot of valid points regarding Jon-as-an-avatar:

(MAG169) JUDE: You’re not scared, though, are you, Archivist? ARCHIVIST: … I can feel the pain of every person you have trapped here. My own isn’t all that different. JUDE: Yeah, but you like seeing their pain, don’t you? Their fear? ARCHIVIST: … Yes. JUDE: You and that stupid Eye, god, you make me sick! Lording it over everybody like you own the place? You’re just leeches, voyeurs, parasites on the real monsters. […] Oooh, I see! I get it. You finally get a sniff of power, and the first thing you do is try to settle some old scores. MARTIN: [LOUDER COUGHS] JUDE: Play the big man, get off on good old-fashioned petty revenge~! […] I’m happy in this world. I belong here. And so do you. MARTIN: [COUGHS] [STATIC RISING: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] JUDE: Uh! Listen… Listen… [BREATHLESS CHUCKLING] You’re enjoying this, right? ‘Course you are! You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people, you want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you…! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] MARTIN: Just DIE already!! JUDE: You’re… not… better… than… me! [SCREAMS]

He presented it to Martin as “revenge”. He went out of his way to find Jude, first hiding it from Martin and then deliberately making the decision of going after her after he learned that Martin would be terrorised by the domain (but ready to follow him if Jon really wanted to go). Jude’s execution also exists in contrast to Oliver, whom Jon had decided to spare because he had “helped” him (… to wake up as an avatar), while knowing full well that Oliver had killed people too (MAG121) and that he was currently torturing victims in his domains (in creative, cruel ways for “VARIETY”…). Jude’s smiting didn’t feel like an application of justice, or as something fair; it just felt like personal retribution, because Jon has the power to do it. There is something reassuring in the fact that the whole scene didn’t bring any catharsis, felt so extremely anti-climatic and miserable (Martin was in pain and on the verge of tears, wanted to leave the place; Jon wasn’t triumphant), because Jon behaved as the plaintiff, the legislature, the judge and the executioner – it is terrifying in itself that he has the power to establish who would have the “right” to die or to keep torturing people following whether or not they’ve served his interests.

(MAG168) ARCHIVIST: I just, I don’t think he’s… [SIGH] I don’t know, I don’t think he’s evil. MARTIN: Oh, yeah, sure, he’s probably a really kind, benevolent ruler of a hellish fear prison…! ARCHIVIST: It’s just… He helped me. Wh–when I was… He woke me up. […] But I’m not going to… seek him out. At the very least, he’s earned not having me hunt him down. MARTIN: Fine. I suppose that’s… reasonable. […] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] No. If Oliver will not seek me out, then… I will leave him be. [TINY CHUCKLES] The avatar of Death… shall live. Martin’s going to be thrilled…! [SIGH]

(MAG169) MARTIN: [COUGH] [PANTING] Is it…? ARCHIVIST: It’s over. … She’s gone. MARTIN: [PAINED] The fires are still here. Doesn’t look like much has changed. ARCHIVIST: … No. I suppose not. [CRUMBLING SOUND] MARTIN: [SHAKILY] … Let’s just get out of here.

Jude was indeed that one avatar we wanted to see disappear (since the was gleeful about hurting, that she chose to get involved in the cult and didn’t join it to escape another horrible fate, that she admitted she didn’t regret this world nor the hurt she had to Jon himself); but her accusations had some truth in them precisely because Jon had just decided to spare Oliver given their own relationship – while Oliver, too, had admitted that he was torturing and enjoying people for the fun of it. Jon’s judgement… doesn’t work. And since nothing changed in the domain, it just proved that avatars themselves weren’t the real problem at the root – the Fear-system is still in place, still working, with or without them, still hurting and feeding from people.

(… And it also highlights that, indeed, right now, Jon is “made” for this world, as Jonah had hypothesised in MAG160. He’s been shown grieving the old world, being eaten by guilt, refusing to embrace the fact that the Fears around him feel “right” at the beginning of the season. But he’s currently feeding from this world and still enjoying victims’ pain on some level – what would happen, if Jon&Martin managed to successfully revert the world back in some way? Would Jon still be able to survive?)

- We’ll see if Jon and Martin talk about it soon, but it sure feels like a conversation regarding the “smiting” is needed. Martin seems to have experienced first-hand that it’s nnooooot as good in practice as in theory (he was miserable, in pain, coughing his lungs out, witnessed Jon choose to willingly bring him into a discomforting, potentially triggering place in the name of it), but I’m not sure it will be enough for him to reconsider the idea, or to point out that… he had been wrong about it, and that the logic of killing avatars as an easy, evident, helpful thing… is actually not that simple, since it didn’t change anything. (Probably because they have to aim higher.)

I’m really not sure about their future stances regarding other avatars, because, really, who could feel as “deserving” as Jude? Jon might want his rib back, but he technically gave it to Jared as part of an agreement (and Jared honoured his half of the deal!); Daisy would “at best” represent an attempt at mercy-killing if Jon were to try anything (and it certainly wouldn’t feel good); Julia&Trevor… indeed caused the chaos in MAG158, which also led to Daisy snapping, but would it be enough to want to “smite” them? (Meanwhile, if Jon meets Simon: same as Oliver, given his relationship to his patron, he would probably just embrace his own death.)

Plus, if Jude’s execution felt unsatisfying now, I really doubt that doing anything to Jonah would feel satisfying either? It… wouldn’t solve anything or fix the world back.

- I really wonder what’s happening in Jon’s head right now, if everything was a conscious decision that more or less backfired (ha), or if there are once again influences at stake… Did he really go after Jude because, like Martin suggested, Jon thought it could free or at least relieve the people imprisoned in that domain? Jon can’t see the future, but he could have “known” what had happened to the Not!Them’s carousel to get an indication of what happens in those cases; it… didn’t sound like a genuine reason. Same thing with the concept of revenge: Jon was scared of it just a few episodes ago (MAG166: “Because I’m ashamed, Martin. […] Yes! Ashamed of the fact that I… destroyed the world and have been rewarded for it; the fact that… I can walk safe through all this horror I’ve created like a fucking tourist, destroying whoever I please; the fact that I… enjoyed it, and… the fact that there are… so many others, that I still want to revenge myself on!”), and if it had been only about revenge, he wouldn’t have needed to ask Jude all these questions and to delay the moment when he would actually end her. Was it because he hoped that Jude would regret, would have behaved differently if she had known that it would lead to the apocalypse? Was it because he wanted to check with himself whether “smiting” her deliberately would feel good, fair and right? Was it because he thought that trusting Martin’s judgement and killing avatars would indeed be the best course of action? Was it because he wanted to prove a point to Martin – that he’s a monster too, and/or that killing doesn’t feel as great in practice as on the paper?

… His behaviour in this episode reminded me so much of MAG141, however, and how coldly rational he had sounded about what he was doing to Floyd, as if it was a logical and implacable course of action; so I can’t help but wonder if there is Eye-related influence at play. Pushing him to hurt other avatars for The Eye’s entertainment, to feed from the ones who are usually feared? For “variety”, too?

- … Regarding Jon’s powers, I had briefly wondered whether Jon was still able to compel, given what Oliver had mentioned, but mMMMmmm…

(MAG168) ARCHIVIST: “Please, Jon, do not interpret this report as a “plea for mercy” or a “call to action”. I would have offered it willingly, of course, but to do so is no longer an option. You cannot ask; you may only take.”

(MAG169) JUDE: You came all this way just to ask that? ARCHIVIST: Answer the question. MARTIN: [COUGHS] JUDE: If you want to know so badly, why don’t you just reach into my head and pull it out? ARCHIVIST: Because I want to hear you say it. Willingly. JUDE: What difference does it make if it’s– ARCHIVIST: Just answer the damn question…! JUDE: … No. I had no idea.

Since compelling Peter to death, Jon has never been shown forcing an answer out of someone again. He has been shown “knowing” things with alarming ability, being almost entirely omniscient at this point (MAG164: “Okay. So… how much can you see? What else do you know?” “Uh… Maybe everything…!”), whether it’s prompted by someone’s questions (as Martin demonstrated) or Jon just knowing things on his own accord. He has demonstrated a new way to deal with “statements”: getting filled with the Fears suffusing his surroundings, and having to “pour out” these statements into the tape recorder (MAG162: “This cabin. It’s not right. And, when I thought that, I–I felt… It, it all poured out of me down… into the tape.”). He has manifested his new Eye-related ability to turn the Feared into the Fearful, eradicating monsters and avatars (MAG166: “But The Eye still rules. All this fear is being performed for its benefit. And so, there are now exactly two roles available in this new world of ours: the watcher, and the watched. Subject, and object. Those who are feared, and those who are afraid. And Jon, well… he is part of The Eye; a very important part. And he’s able to, shall we say… shift its focus. Turn the one into the other.”). But compulsion as the act of asking a question and forcing an answer out of someone? Nothing since the beginning of the season. It might be nothing, but Oliver has always known so much about Jon and his situation, and Jude directly made a reference to that power when Jon didn’t use it, so… it could indeed be a thing.

(Or it’s also possible that, after Peter resisted compulsion to the point of dying, Jon fears that ability and what it could do, and purposefully stopped using it?)

MAG170’s title is… MmMMmm. If this an episode regarding a territory, I would say Spiral or Flesh (… and Jared in particular). It could also be about things outside of a domain, like what happened with “Curiosity” – and then, I’d see ways for it to be an outside POV (Jonah? Annabelle?) and/or other characters coming back (Georgie&Melanie? Basira? … stumbling upon/finding Daisy…?). And/or Martin talking about himself – we know so little about his pre-Archives life, I feel ;; (Same for Basira…) There could also be a way to connect with something mentioned about Agnes in MAG067…

(… It’s also making me think of Albrecht’s library / the Black Forest crypt and what Jonah did of the books…)

[trickster-4]

Chapter 3

“Ehhh?!”

There was no impact on the memory from Amity’s actions thankfully, but Luz blushed at the sight and the sudden phantom sensations of her friend’s fingers stroking nonexistent ears on her scalp. Amity then noticed that both Luz and her rabbit self’s legs were twitching.

”Oh right this is you...Sorry..” Amity blushed before stopping and looking to Luz who was also blushing..

“It’s fine it wasn’t that bad.. L-Let’s just focus on why we’re here...”

“Curse the nerve endings in these ears.. Why must Edalin much be so good at reaching them!!”

”A-Apparently these memories are very important to you..” Amity tried to not snicker at the idea of the lord of black magic being turned into a rabbit because of a bet... She failed badly and started laughing at the thought of him sayin-

“Fear me!!!”

Luz blushed wanting to crawl under a rock for a long while. Normally she could laugh this off as well, but for some reason it felt terrifying that Amity was seeing this..

“Oh.. Sorry Luz..”

”It’s fine and it is funny.. I’m actually thankful that it was this and less blood and war..”

Edalin snuggled the rabbit closer to her face enjoying the feeling of the soft fur.. She was not a mage so unfortunately the complaints of Shabragnido the lord of darkness were unheard by her.

”Wow I was an angry little ball of fluff...”

“I know..” Amity nodded in agreement.

“I’m torn between having you boiled alive and having you made as my high priestes- yes yes right there scratch my belly!!”

”So where’s the problem?” Luz questioned they then looked up at towards the black temple. A mysterious hooded men and women were watching the girl as she played with the rabbit.. “What are those guys doing..”

”It seems our lord favors the girl for his sacrifice.. I can his presence hovering over this girl..”

“Indeed strange.. We’ve rarely ever seen nonmagical sacrifices. Perhaps this will be a new trend?”

”No... They wouldn’t..” Luz looked with horrified eyes as guards began to approach the girl.. She began to shake as they took hold of the girl causing her to drop the rabbit..

”Wait what are you imbeciles doing her? Get away from her... What wait can’t you hear me?”

“Our lord Shabragnido will be pleased with this..”

“Give her back you idiots!!”

The rabbit feebly tried to stop the guards he gnawed on one of the guard’s shoe doing his best to slow them down. He was kicked into the wall it’s skull was shattered.. Though seconds later it repaired itself easily..

“Damn our bet Ceifeed..”

Dark energy began to form around the rabbit only for it recede forcibly into it’s body.. He saw the flames of his temple ignite Edalin would be sacrificed in five minutes.. He Shabragnido the god of darkness was stuck trapped as a damn rodent and he couldn’t even save a child..

It infuriated him how he had been trapped with the nonmagical orphaned child. How he had been forced to comfort her on those cold nights.. It hurt that he began to feel for her.. It hurt to hear how she dreamed of one day being a witch.. He couldn’t stand to be so close to her when he been responsible for her village’s death and her enslavement.

Shabragnido had never felt guilt.. The time he had been forced to live with her had changed him in a fundamental way.. His purpose from his creation was clear remorseless destruction.. Atlantis was merely the result of a misbegotten bet..

And... perhaps he enjoyed the attention and worship and the empire had produced more than a few competent servants.. But that was all it was a formality a business. He had only ever taken true joy at watching as mountains crumbled as the people burned.. Yet the thought of Edalin suffering that fate. Something about that infuriated him tore at him at the place where only hate should dwell..

A spell began to form a new one never to be uttered by human beings.. He called to his true nature to his inner self beyond his current form...

“Wrath given form hate given substance.. I call to the deepest void to the bound one who seeks to be free.. Let our hate be one and our path be united.. Grant me all your power so that the skies may burn and the world may darken.. Till all my enemies are made ash, Resigno!!”

The rabbit was suddenly swallowed up in a sphere of crimson magic. The mere flesh was consumed as the god of black magic took on his true dark majesty. The people around him were terrified some bowed and prostrated themselves before their War God.. He cared even less of such bootlicking today..

Luz and Amity followed Luz’s past self to the temple they waited to see what would happen.

“LET THE GIRL GO!!”

The temple shook as his voice boomed.. There was silent whimpering that he could hear from his priests.. But there no one brave enough to him the truth the ceremony was over the girl was already dead.

He suddenly realized that he couldn’t sense Edalin’s lifeforce.. She was dead.. Shabragnido broke into his astral form before taking on a human form in the temple.. The girls followed quickly Luz’s eyes watered at the tragedy taking place and Amity tried her best to comfort her.. The head priestess recognized his appearance. He stood there for a moment standing in front of her body.. For once the blood that was spilled made him nauseous and infuriated him.

“Lord Shabranigdo I-“

Shabragnido watched with a cold satisfaction as the two priests who chose Edalin began to age. There was another priest holding the bloodied knife that had ended Edalin’s life he too suffered the same curse. They screamed and cried out for mercy until they became dust. Moments later the room was filled with silence after sometime the high priestess spoke.

“My lord..”

“Get out of the temple..”

“My lord?”

“Get out of the temple as of this moment you and the other priests are banished.. For the sake of years of good service I tell you this and you are to tell no one outside the priesthood and their families.. Leave Atlantis tonight.. I am going to burn this entire city to the ground.. As tribute to the forbidden mother…”

Her eyes widened at the breaking of the taboo. The mother of their patron gods was never to be mentioned on pain of utter annihilation. She was rumored to be more capricious and cruel than even Lord Shabragnido.

“I see… I wish you luck..”

The priestess and her servants followed them out of the sacrificial chambers.. He was alone now.

“It wouldn’t help.. Nothing sways her but entertainment.. Listen well mother my offer to you is this. I know you created me and Ceifeed to hate and kill each other.. I went against my purpose.. I bargained with him.. I will destroy this place that must offend you.. I will become your heartless destroyer.. And in return for these things I ask for one thing let Edalin live again and let her have her dreams..

Edalin’s body began to disappear into a golden mist a relief went through his chest.. A sign that his mother had taken his offer. Shabragnido got up and went forth becoming with each step the monster he was always meant to be. She would live once more though Atlantis would have to burn…

Moments later Luz and Amity watched as the temple came apart. In the sky Ceifeed and Shabragnido battled each other viscously. The gods tore into each other’s form’s with blue and crimson spells.. They stared at the carnage the gods wrought on the city they had given life to. The very patrons who had given these people wealth and magic were now destroying the very empire they had created.

Centuries of human progress, magical research, was being undone. The blasts from the two gods destroyed numerous buildings more than a few archmages attempted to protect their people to various levels of success.. All this because Shabragnido cared for one child..

“Shabragnido you are destroying everything we spent centuries building… Have you gone completely mad?!! It was tragedy what happened here and I had no intention to cause such a pain to you brother, but your “deal” with mother is insane..” The Azure dragon glared at his crimson brother. He would not budge in this matter his brother had to be stopped..

“Shut up you idiot your words tire me..”

You suffered deeply brother you lost a daughter.. I empathize with you… But I cannot let you give more grief to these children.. They were struggling to survive before our influence.. Before our Empire they had nothing. If you succeeded today they will be tossed back into the void with nothing..”

“I don’t give a damn.. Atlantis will fall..”

A sphere formed within Shabragnido’s hands a spell of immense destructive force gathers in seconds. “No!!” Luz finally screamed out.. “ Edalin wouldn’t want this please you have to stop this!!” Amity could only watch silently in horror as Shabragnido destroyed Atlantis…

The memories began to shift as they now stood in the ruins of Atlantis a mere shadow of itself.. Something wasn’t right Luz and Amity looked around sharing similar thoughts. Shabragnido kneeled bound by numerous spells and priestess.. Ceifeed was dying… In body and soul.. Still he had enough power to do this… He couldn’t kill Shabragnido too much of his power and strength had waned…

“Just do it..”

“Good bye brother..”

Luz and Amity both flinched at the sight as her past self was divided into seven pieces.. Those fragments became crimson energy that faded into nothing.. Ceifeed sighed tiredly. His priests and servants quickly approached him.

“My lord what will happen?”

“He will reincarnate one day after each of the fragments had passed with their human hosts through the cycle of reincarnation… I believe he will be a better leader next time..”

“My lord he killed countless people..”

“For the sake of the only person he ever truly cared for.. As a being of pure negative emotion that is a lot of progress.. I am certain the commingling with humans will balance out his hatred with love, compassion, and.. humanity.. I am dying Elaine..” Ceifeed began to cough as his body began to dissolve into pure azure magic. “Swear to me that you will care for Edalin as your own.. As I recall she shows much promise in black magic.. In fact I hear she is a prodigy..”

“Yes.. She is..”

“Good bye Elaine take care of her…”

“…..” Luz stood there for a while exhausted and mentally drained at the revelations she just experienced. Amity was also widened eyed at what she’d learned.. Apparently her crush destroyed Atlantis. That was a lot to take in.. The most advanced civilization was gone because of her.. Yet Amity saw that Luz was still the same person. These tragedies only showed her compassion and how different Luz was from her old self...

“Luz..”

“Yeah Amity?”

“You may share memories with Shabragnido.. You may have his powers and you may even share feelings on a number of things.. You may even share the same soul… But you aren’t that person..” Amity held Luz’s shoulder softly. “His actions aren’t yours and yours aren’t his.. This wasn’t your fault and when given the chance to kill you chose something better.. You’re not that version of yourself anymore. That Shabragnido died a long time ago.. Once we deal with these memories please let them rest..”

“Amity…” Luz’s eyes lit up and she slowly smiled..

“When we first met.. I was a different person.. Arrogant, Prideful, and reaally Insecure..” Amity blushed as she mentioned her past flaws but smiled as she saw Luz was close to giggling. “I grew and I changed I made amends.. It’s not the same.. But, even if you’re the same person this version of you isn’t responsible for what happened you’re kind, warm, and really outgoing for a dark lord..”

“Amity!!” Luz complained sarcastically, then smiled and laughed..

“You’re a different person Luz.. please give yourself some credit..”

Luz hugged Amity tightly causing her to blush. The two decided to enjoy that embrace for a while.. Moments later the scenery changed around them.. They now stood in a nice home filled with the smell of cooking fish.

“Edalin..” Elaine called to her adopted daughter a young spunky curious redhead girl.. She smiled at the sight of the girl creating a flame with ease. “Come now child it’s time for bed. You’ll have plenty of time to learn more magic tomorrow.”

“Yeah..”

“Remember Edalin. You’re a Clawthorne.. No matter what anyone says..” Elaine kissed her daughter’s forehead and gave her a tight hug… “Have a good night little owl..”

Moments later Luz and Amity found themselves back in Luz’s mind outside of her memories.. They stood there quiet speechless of about what they had just witnessed.. After a few minutes Amity finally spoke up. “Wow..”

[lucarioisinthevoid]

If Henry could give one peice of advice for each of the guards, what should it be?

"A piece of advice you say?" Quietly he considered. "In regards to what? Their role in the restaurant? Their life in general? How to get to what they desire? How to properly cook?" Don't be ridiculous. "I am not. He could have meant any of these things and I wanted to point out how vague this ask is. I might not figure out what his intended topic was and give advice that is too vague." Perhaps. But there was little that he could do to change this anyways, so why worry. "Alright. I think I want to start with Mike. Mike must be the most be the most capable of the guards, alone by his sheer power. He, much like the Orange Guy, has the ability to do whatever he pleases, to go beyond and change the world in his image. I would have killed, I HAVE killed for the chance alone to get where he currently is. He fears himself and that makes him fear others, his aggression is his line of defense because he can accept hurting someone who is too foolish to stay away, but he will never forgive himself for hurting someone he thinks he has lured closer himself. Making everyone hate him in order to protect them is as novel as it is stupid." Dismissive he scoffed. "He needs to take control of his own fate. People pay for what they want and he has much to offer, more than he allows himself to realize. Hone your skills and form the world around you. The world is yours and you can let people decide to either join or oppose you. You are not supposed to be their protector." Man, that was a paragraph. "... Mike is basically my pet project, even if it surprises me that he actually returned to Freddy’s willingly. I could not be happier with the physical results, the mental ones however are quite disappointing." Next up!Phone Guy! "Hm... difficult. My advice as person to him is that sometimes a wrong decision is better than no decision and that absolute truth is not only non-existent, but also meaningless. He doesn't need all the answers, it will not protect him. Nothing will protect him. He has to go forward and accept the risk into his life, because if he does not, the safety he thinks he experiences right now is going to turn on him in the cruelest way. Just because he is used to the situation, does not mean he is in control of the situation and leaving would be the safest for him, even if he cannot predict what is waiting for him." A bit he smiled. "But that would never be something I would tell him personally. I need him to do his work." Following up! Jeremy. "Ah... Jeremy. Difficult. I think I would tell him that purity is not good. It is toxic and suffocating, not to mention worthless.Striving to be good and understanding can be an incredibly egotistical and harmful goal. The lack of egotism is an act of utter egotism in a world where harm exists. Even if you are utterly consequential in your approach, even in regard to yourself, it only means that everyone including yourself can be harmed."Slowly he shook his head."Jeremy needs to realize that he is not a good person. There is no way to truly become a good person for everyone. You never will live in a bubble and while his intentions may be good, in the end he harms the future and those relying on him. No, he would be a much better person if he stood for something and supported those with him, while not harming those against him in any cruel way. Offering understanding is incredibly valuable... if you can actually change either yourself or the other one in the moment of understanding. Turning yourself into a powerless object, detached from everything will not be of use, neither to the person you offer understanding to, nor to yourself as you understand." That was a doozy. "... a bit sloppy, but it is hard for me to describe what exactly is my personal issue with him. What I do know however is that is personal ideology has hurt people and he will never be able to take responsibility for it. His believe in absolute goodness made him blind and ignorant." So... Dave and Old Sport?"The Orange Guy... I cannot help, I think. My advice for him would be that there is NOTHING that can replace a soul... aside from a mission. No matter what he does, it will lead to failure, because the only goal he has is self-satisfaction and nothing can give it to him forever. The hole in him is permanent unless he finds a strong leader for himself... and that leader cannot be William. He should give up his body and embrace taking in a new soul." I don't feel comfortable when you say this to be honest. Seeing as you basically want him to give up everything and approach him with such a dark mindset. "I see no hope for him. He is incapable of reflecting, he is like an animal moving forward, wildly and blindly. It would be pitiful if he were not so dangerous and wasteful. I cannot gather sympathy for someone who cannot change and who is in such a drastic position of power." Stepping back from his softly simmering anger, he took a breath and shook his head. "Meanwhile William... something similar for him. But I do not think he is truly hopeless, I simply believe he is too... easily distracted. My advice for William would be to pause and realize how much bigger the world is than his own needs and thoughts. He too would need a goal of worth. But seeing his condition, he is little at fault for how he is. I would try to encourage him to learn to see his emotions not as absolute, but as momentary, I would be curious to see what he could become if he were to learn to control himself and grow over himself." That's all of the guards! Thanks for giving Henry an opportunity to ramble, maybe he will shut up for a while after that.

[neverplannedonnewsies]

Requesting some Finch content 😁😁

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER! Bless you, this my first request so I hope you like it! 

Also this is real long so I put it under the cut :)

Special Delivery

Got this idea when I was working as a receptionist and had a VERY hot delivery guy lol (sadly he came on the last day of my job, why cruel fate, why?). This is definitely my longest fic, but I didn’t want to rush the storyline. Hope you guys enjoy!

Warnings: bad language

Finch x reader pairing

—–

Being the receptionist at “The World” meant you had a great deal of responsibility, and when you first started the job you were a but overwhelmed. Hannah was wonderful about helping you adjust (after all it was her job when she first started), but she couldn’t always be there. You were also intimidated given that most of the staff was a good 20 – 30 years older than you. The only ones your age were Mr. Pulitzer’s daughter, Katherine, and her boyfriend, Jack, who started working in the offices around the same time you did. Nice as it was when they were there, they didn’t come in to the office every day – you did. Which meant you had to muddle through a variety of tasks by yourself, not always knowing how to accomplish them, and certain Mr. Pulitzer would show up at any moment to fire you. Currently you were trying to find a single file hidden amongst hundreds of others without the slightest clue of where to begin, and you were starting to panic.

“Delivery for Mr. Pulitzer,” a new voice said, interrupting your thoughts. Turning around you saw a tall, curly haired boy roughly your age wearing a newsboy cap and holding a package. Stiffly a sigh at yet another new task that you had no idea how to complete, you asked,

“Anything I need to do?”

“Not much, just sign this receipt miss,” the boy said, smiling at you.

“Oh,” you said, spirits lifting, “Well that’s easy enough,”and quickly signed your name.

“Great, you’re all set Miss…Y/L/N,” the boy replied, glancing at the receipt as he handed you the package.

“Thanks! What’s your name?”

“Oh, uh, it’s Finch,” he replied, looking slightly startled.

“What’d you forget the answer?” you said, smiling to show you were teasing.

“No, it’s just no one here’s ever asked it before that’s all.”

“Oh… well it’s very nice to meet you Finch,” you said,holding out your hand for him to shake. Finch smiled and warmly shook your hand in return, your small hand easily fitting into his larger one.

“It’s nice to meet you too Miss Y/L/N.”

“Oh you can call me Y/n.”

“Y/n. You’re new here right?”

“Yes. Do you deliver here often?”

“Sometimes, when they got stuff that needs deliverin’ and I’m not out sellin’ papes.”

“Oh you’re a newsie as well! Do you know Jack Kelly?”

“Yeah! He’s basically the leader of the Manhattan newsboys.”

“I noticed – Jack seems like a pretty natural leader.”

“For sure,” Finch replied, smiling at you. You weren’t certain if it was your imagination, but he seemed to be staring at you – at least the amount of eye contact he was making almost had you blushing, after all he was very handsome. Then he seemed to shake himself slightly and said,

“Anyways I should probably get goin’. It was nice to meet you though Y/n.”

“It was nice to meet you too Finch.”

You turned back to your task, a little more relaxed now, and went about the rest of your day trying not to think about the handsome delivery boy.

——-

As the weeks went on and you got more accustomed to your job, Finch and you became good friends. Occasionally he’d stop by when he was out selling papers. He’d claim he was taking a break, that he needed to get out of the heat for a bit, and you certainly didn’t mind if that meant he kept you company. He didn’t do it often because he didn’t want to get you in trouble, but you didn’t think you’d mind if he did.

One day he was in the middle of telling you about the antics of the other newsies when a familiar voice interrupted.

“Finch? What’re you doin’ here?”

Finch straightened up from lounging against your desk, for the briefest second looking guilty until he recognized Jack and his face relaxed into a smile.

“Hey Jack! I didn’t know you was here today.”

“I just dropped by to see Katherine – what’re you doin’ here?”

“Oh I was just deliverin’ a package,” he replied, the guilty look coming back over his face, “I should probably get goin’ though, got a lot more packages to deliver today.”

As Finch left you felt Jack observing you with sudden interest. You busied yourself with some papers on your desk, trying to avoid eye contact with him and willing him to keep his mouth shut. Unfortunately, keeping his mouth shut was not one of Jack Kelly’s strong suits.

“So,” he drawled, “you and Finch seem pretty close.”

“I don’t know about close – he drops off packages, we talk a little, that’s about it,” you said, stubbornly refusing to be baited.

“I don’t know,” Jack continued with an infuriating grin, “seemed a little more comfortable than a business relationship to me. If I had to guess I’d say he was sweet on ya.”

You felt your face heat a little but maintained your composure, “Don’t be ridiculous, Kelly. He’s just doin’ his job, and if he takes a break here so what?”

“Alright, alright whatever you say,” Jack replied, holding his hands up in mock surrender, “but for the record Finch is a real sweet guy, and he’s got a lot of friends, but he’s hangin’ out here to talk to you. He don’t do that with just anyone.”

You tried to refocus on your work as Jack walked away, but the bubble of hope that rose in your chest kept distracted for the rest of the day.

——

Finch continued dropping by with increasing frequency, and you started looking forward to it as the highlight of your day. He’d tell you about the other newsies and the pranks they’d pull on each other, but he’d also ask you about your life and listen when you needed to rant about your job.

One gloomy day Finch was hiding out from the rain and showing you the slingshot he had made himself. It was a slow day so you weren’t worried about taking a break from your work. However a few minutes after he’d gotten there you heard the front door open, causing Finch straightened up quickly, not wanting to get you in trouble. He smiled and waved goodbye to you, beginning to head towards the door but pausing when the portly man entering stormed past him and yelled, “I demand to see Mr. Pulitzer!”

Composing yourself from your intial shock, you replied calmly,“Sir, I’m sorry but you cannot see Mr. Pulitzer without an appointment. If you’d like I can take your name and-“

“Don’t give me that!” the man shouted, cutting you off, “Do you know who I am?”

“I’m afraid I do not sir, but-“

“I could make your life a living hell! I own half this town and Pulitzer had any sense he would see me immediately.”

“Sir, I understand but I really can’t let you up,” you said, beginning to glance around somewhat desperately for the security guard who was nowhere in sight, “Mr. Pulitzer isn’t even here at the moment, and without an appointment-“

“I don’t want your excuses you little bitch!”

You gasped, not knowing how to reply when Finch, whom you hadn’t realized was still there, rushed back to your side, shielding you slightly from the enraged man.

“How dare you talk to her that way! She said Mr. Pulitzer ain’t here, so I think it’s time for you to leave.”

Finch was pretty laid back – in fact he had told you the only time he had ever been in a fight was during the newsboy strike (“I don’t see the point of gettin’ hit if you don’t need to,” he’d said), but right now he was drawn up to his full height, fists clenched at his side. The man looked up at him and sneered,

“You work here too boy? I’ll have you both dismissed, you and your whore.”

You could audibly hear Finch’s jaw clench, and in a more mature voice than you’d ever heard before he said, “Out.”

Not giving the man time to argue further Finch grabbed one of his arms, dragged him to the door, and threw him out, locking the door behind him. Immediately the intense look on his face softened and he rushed back to you, grabbing one of your hands.

“Y/n, are you ok? I’m so sorry, I can’t believe anyone would ever talk to a lady like that.”

“I’m ok Finch,” you said, though the slight tremble in your hands gave you away. “It happens sometimes, folks get mad about what gets published in the paper. I’m glad you were here though.”

“Miss Y/L/N!” a new voice called as the security guard huffed into view, “What happened? I heard shouting.”

“I’m alright Mr. Ponton. That gentleman out there came in demanding to see Mr. Pulitzer, but Finch here helped me out when he started getting nasty.”

Mr. Ponton looked at the man who was still pulling at the doors and shouting profanities and winced. “Well good for you son, I’m glad you were able to handle him. He is quite a powerful man, but that’s still no excuse to shout at our receptionist. I’ll go and see if I can calm him down.”

As the guard left you turned to Finch, “Thank you again for helping me. I’m sorry you had to get involved.”

“Don’t be sorry, Y/n. It ain’t your fault and I certainly ain’t gonna stand by while someone says those horrible things to you.”

“Well thank you all the same.” On an impulse you stood on your toes and placed a soft kiss on Finch’s cheek. You stood together for a moment longer, both with admittedly goofy grins on your faces until the sound of the door opening snapped you out of the trance.

“Well I’ve talked him down and convinced him to come back another day, but it would still probably be best if you left out the back today son.”

Finch nodded at Mr. Ponton, and with one last look at you headed for the back exit. As you stared after him, Mr. Ponton said, “So, that your fella?”

“No,” you replied, this time your denial not quite as convincing as before, “no he’s just the delivery boy.”

Mr. Ponton let out a bit of a “humph” but said nothing further as you got back to work.

—-

You were standing organizing files behind your desk when the door opened and Finch came in, something hidden behind his back.

“Hey Finch!”

“Special delivery for ya,” he said, pulling out a flower from behind his back.

“Finch!” you cried, taking the flower, “It’s so beautiful. What’s this for?”

“Well I was wonderin’, when you were done with work, if you’d wanna go for a walk?”

“You wanna go for a walk with me?” you asked, a smile beginning.

“And then, if yous hungry, I know this nice diner we could go to.”

“You wanna go to a diner with me?”

“Is it alright if I do?”

“Absolutely. It’s more than alright.”

He took you by the hand and started to lean towards you when down the hallway a door slammed, making you both jump.

“I’ll be back at the end of the day to pick ya up,” Finchsaid. He began to turn to leave, then quickly turned back to place a soft kiss on your hand before running out the door. You stood there for a good 30 seconds, staring at the door and holding the flower close to your heart.

“Y/n,” Jack said, coming into the lobby, “What’re you doin’?”

“Oh nothing,” you replied, going to back to your desk to geta cup of water for the flower. Try as you might you couldn’t keep the grin off your face. Jack leaned against your desk, narrowing his eyes, looking between you and the flower, before understanding spread across his face.

“So,” he said casually, “Get any deliveries today?”

“Maybe one.”

“Gotcha,” he said, tapping on your desk as he turned to walkaway, “Atta boy Finch, atta boy.”

Tag List:

@my–little–happy–place

@bencookisagod

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@king-of-newyork

@bennie-badeend

@seasickdolphin

@backgroundnewsies

@buttons-in-the-refuge

[dcubang]

DCU Bang 2nd Story Claims

Hello! Second claims are now open and artists are free to claim as many stories as they are reasonably sure they can finish! Second claims are optional. Don’t want to claim a second story, or don’t feel like you’ll be able to create something for two stories? You don’t need to claim! I would much rather an artist focuses and creates something awesome for one story, than for an artist to be stressed out trying to create something for two stories. Know your limits and don’t overburden yourself! Each story can be claimed an additional two times. That means there is a potential total of 3 artists per story, and a minimum of 1 artist per story. While unlikely, it would be pretty hectic and stressful for an author to have to coordinate with 16 artists on their story! That’s why there is a limit, and to encourage people to spread the art around to other stories. =D Stories are guaranteed only one artist each. I cannot guarantee that every single story will get a second artist. Please be understanding of this! Second claims will close Saturday, July 13th 23:59 MDT, when all fanworker sign-ups will be closed. How to Make Multiple Claims:

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A matching email will go out to both the artist and the author containing each other’s contact information after a claim is successful. I plan to start sending these emails out Sunday morning. You should receive this email no later than 72 hours after I have confirmed the claim. If you don't get this match up email, please get in contact with me ASAP so that artists and authors can get to work quickly! Every story is listed here is not guaranteed a second or third artist! I can only guarantee one artist per story.

  If you have any questions or concerns, you can email me at dcubang@gmail.com, or contact me on the DCU Bang Discord!

1 Title: Fly With Me Word Count: About 14k Genre: Fantasy-Adventure Fandom/Universe: Green Lantern, Flash (comics) Characters/Pairings: Barry Allen/Hal Jordan/Guy Gardner/John Stewart/Alan Scott Warnings: Mild/implied body dysphoria Rating: PG-ish Summary: When Watchman Barry Allen arrives to a grisly murder scene, the last thing he expects is the enigmatic dragonlords of the realm to arrive and ask for him specifically. They are handsome and charming, but the existence of enormous fire-breathing flying lizards that seem to exert some kind of... Strange emotional aura is more than a little terrifying. He is introduced to the prince of these dragonlords, Hal, and steps up to be taken back to the towering natural fortress of Oa, a massive hollowed out mountain that sits on the edge of the continent. Called the 'weyr', Oa is home to the dragons and their riders, and Barry soon finds himself welcomed inside with all the honours that a prince might receive. In the morning after a restless night's sleep he is bathed and anointed, and taken down deep beneath the mountain to a holy underground sea, where he must confront the mysterious Lord of Oa and receive the prize for which he had been chosen: A dragon egg, rare and precious. The last third of the story will be hatching the dragon, and a montage of sorts with Barry further bonding with the dragon riders and forming a... Tentative proto-romantic relationship with them. He trains in arms with Guy, learns the histories and concepts of the weyr with John, is taught about the running and logistics of Oa from Alan, and finally Hal tutors him on bonding with his dragon, and eventually flying with it. The broad aesthetic of the fic is very much generic medieval fantasy, set mostly in the mountainous fortress/castle of Oa. Characters vary a little bit from canon appearances, mostly in regards to hairstyles and the like, but a few characters are trans, which is mostly going to be a background detail. There are no warnings except for a crime scene early on (which will be edited down) and brief discussions of trans characters being trans, so there's a bit of mild dysphoria but no explicit details or transphobia/homophobia. There is implied polyamory and age difference, but everyone is consenting adults and nothing is properly established in this fic.

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2 Title: The Case of the Missing Son Word Count: 6,031 of 10k-ish Genre: Mystery, Romance Fandom/Universe: Batman (comics) Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Dick Grayson, Talia al Ghul, Damian Wayne Warnings: Minor violence Rating: NC-17 Summary: Bruce Wayne has come to PI Dick Grayson with a problem. His ex-wife, Talia al Ghul, has been sending him letters claiming they have a son. Bruce wants Dick to find the boy and bring him home. Dick gathers information from various sources before running into Talia herself, which only results in him getting beat up. He goes back to Bruce to convince him to confront Talia. Eventually, the son goes to Bruce, and Bruce and Dick get some private time together. The story takes place solely in Gotham, from Dick's office, to Wayne Manor, with one trip down into the caves of Gotham for the showdown.

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3 Title: Forth My Mimic Comes Word Count: 19k Genre: Mystery, Supernatural Fandom/Universe: Batman (mostly comics) Characters/Pairings: Gen; Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake Warnings: past canon character death, non-consensual bodyswap, thoughts that could be construed as non-specific suicidal tendencies (i.e., "I was already dead, if I die again it's no big deal," etc.) Rating: PG/T Summary: Robin saves a boy from being hit by a car, only to discover that the victim is none other than a very alive (if comatose) Jason Todd. An already unusual situation turns even more bizarre when an unfortunate turn of phrase and an errant bit of magic cause Jason and the current Robin to end up in each other's bodies. Knowing it's only a matter of time before Bruce learns of the switch and locks him up in a fit of paranoia, Jason must seek the help of the enigmatic (and familiar) Oracle to fix the problem, all the while learning far more than he ever wanted to know about the boy who replaced him. Takes place immediately following Jason's resurrection in a slightly canon-divergent timeline, primary locations being the clock tower, manor, and cave (and all of Gotham, because patrol).

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4 Title: Pussycat, Pussycat, Where Have You Been? Word Count: 4,579 of 5k Genre: Mystery Fandom/Universe: Batman (comics) Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle, Tommy Elliot Warnings: Nonconsensual body modification, some torture Rating: PG-13 Summary: Selina Kyle is missing. Bruce finds mannequins and dummies of her around Gotham, each with a modified nursery rhyme about cats. Bruce follows these clues all across Gotham, growing more desperate to find her. Finally, he confronts the villains of Gotham and finds Selina, only to find Hush there as well. They battle and Bruce rescues Selina and takes her back to the Batcave. This takes place solely in Gotham, from the streets and graveyards of Gotham, to beneath Arkham Asylum, to the Batcave.

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5 Title: Daily Gab Word Count: 5776 Genre: Coming Out Fic Fandom/Universe: Batfam Characters/Pairings: Jon/Damian, Damian & Dick Warnings: Bullying Rating: PG-ish Summary: Damian finds a tabloid taped to his locker at school. The headline? "Wayne Kid... Gay?" He endures a day at school listening to the gossip from all the other kids. Dick does the brotherly thing and helps Damian sort through all he's feeling. Damian admits to Jon what the tabloid said and why he's been running scared all day, they talk about the reality of what they want together and Bruce manages to be a real father for once. Summary I'm posting when I post the fic: Damian swallowed against the bile in his throat and carefully took in his next breath, walking himself through the steps of emotional calm. Pretend this was only torture. Pretend it was only a gunshot wound. Pretend it was only his body in pain and not his heart and his mind. Remove himself from the situation and take a few steps backwards from the reality of it.

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6 Title: Stay My Tragedy Word Count: 16k Genre: Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance Fandom/Universe: Batman, Deathstroke, Red Hood Characters/Pairings: Slade/Jason Warnings: explicit sex, angst, descriptions of violence, references to self harm, slight dubcon, problematic relationship Rating: NC-17 Summary:

Soul marks can appear at anytime in one’s life -- a mark of karmic destiny that most people take to mean they’ve met the person they’re meant to fall in love with. Jason knows that’s not true. He knows because his soul mark appeared in the very last moments before he died -- marking his destiny to be murdered by the hands of a madman.

  It is a world in which fate is unbelievably cruel, when Jason’s soul mark is of none other than the man who murdered him. Slade has other ideas however, and he might just be the one man who can change Jason's tragic fate into something else.

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7 Title: New Horizons Word Count: 6091 Genre: Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: Canon Divergence/AU Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown, Tim Drake Warnings: Major Character Death, Abusive Parents, Child Trafficking Ring, Drugs Rating: PG Summary: Jason, Tim, and Stephanie meet while Jason still holds the Robin mantle. They band together to take down a child trafficking ring, all while each one is fighting their own personal battles. Stephanie's dad is a small-time crook who is major-times ruining her chances at a better life. Tim's parents are never home--he doubts they could pick him out of a lineup. Jason is suddenly thrust into life with a billionaire (and vigilante), but not everyone might want him there. Story is mostly set in Gotham and Wayne Manor, with a few scenes in Titans Tower. The Major Character Death is Jason, but it happens off screen and in the epilogue. The Abusive Parents is Tim's parents neglecting him. Drugs are a passing mention. The Child Trafficking Ring is a major plot point.

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8 Title: You’re saving Blüdhaven but who saves you? Word Count: 3457 Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Humor Fandom/Universe: Batman/Nightwing comics, Under the Red Hood Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd/JayDick – Jason Todd/Dick Grayson Warnings: child’s death, mentions of rape, canon typical violence, non consensual drug use, incest (pseudo-incest? Jason and Dick were adopted), self esteem issues Rating: T/Teen And Up Audiences /PG14+ Summary: After a kid got killed Dick, already in a bad place, decides that his only option to make a difference is to fight crime in a different way. He decides to partner up with a carefully chosen criminal and Red Hood caught his attention even if some of their morals are on the opposite sides of the scale. This somehow leads to Dick having an elusive roommate he developed an attraction to. It’s a shame no one told him Red Hood is in fact Jason. This story is canon divergence or alternate universe and takes place after the events with Blockbuster and Tarantula in Nightwing comics and intertwines with some happenings from Under the Red Hood. The action is placed mainly in Blüdhaven, but there are trips to Gotham and Wayne Manor. The story has a romantic relationship between adopted brothers. The rape is mentioned several times and one of the character is forcibly drugged. It also contains description of child’s death and violence.

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9 Title: A Bit(e) Wild Word Count: 5-6k total, 4k written Genre: mostly Angst/Fluff but some Action/Adventure Fandom/Universe: Losers/Batfamily, no particular series Characters/Pairings: established Jensen/Cougar, will be Jensen/Cougar/Jason Todd later in series. Background canonical Pooch/Jolene, mention of Clay/Aisha. Warnings: Graphic violence, swearing, maybe sex in the flashback Rating: Explicit. Even if no sex happens yet, it will later, and there's also the violence to consider. Summary: The Losers have just barely taken down Max and cleared their names; Jensen's still cleaning up post-mission but they're all back home. Jason Todd's preparing to move back to Gotham and butt heads with Batman when a bit of pest control ends with him bitten by a wolf shifter. He didn't think the Pit's aftereffects would allow him to be changed, or that he'd call the Losers for backup again, but of all the people Talia had him learning from, Cougar's the only shifter he knows he can trust if this IS the dreaded change coming on. Cue frantic phone call. The Losers load up and head out immediately, but Pooch brings his family just in case, Clay rides up with Roque, and Jensen and Cougar lead the charge because they've already got the shifter genes and being bitten again isn't going to do anything to them (Jake is a recent change; Cougar was born a shifter). By the time the others arrive, they've got Jason settled and all three are in their animal forms. Jensen is a wolf, Cougs is a cougar, Jason is a snow leopard. After the first few lessons, Jason gets impatient--maybe the Pit, maybe new instincts, partly the knowledge that the Losers aren't going to just let him leave until he's got enough control over his shifter side to satisfy Cougar. He tries to slip out in the night, half hoping they won't follow him, subconsciously aware this will be much easier with trusted backup. Every Loser was expecting this, though, and when Jason slinks off to Gotham, they're still mostly packed and ready to head out. It doesn't take them long to follow.

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10 Title: where monsters lie (in dead men's dreams) Word Count: ~75k total, 47.7k written (including unfinished draft) Genre: Drama, Horror, Angst Fandom/Universe: Batman Arkham Games, and a lot of creative liberty taken with comic canon and the traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega AU Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson, Jason Todd/Bruce Wayne, Bruce Wayne/Dick Grayson Warnings: Non-con, Dub-con, Drugging, Non-traditional ABO Dynamics, Bondage, Descriptions of Torture, Pseudo Incest, Kinky/Rough Sex, Intersexed Characters, Background Polyamory, Angst, Murder Rating: R Summary: Oracle enlists Red Hood's reluctant help to find Batman and Nightwing, who have disappeared during an arms bust deal orchestrated by the Penguin. They've been captured and dosed with a perverted form of the Scarecrow's latest toxin, and the effects of the toxin force the three of them to face their feelings for each other. All Jason wants to do is run away, except Dick won't let him leave. Things grow more complicated when the Penguin re-emerges with a threat none of them had expected, and Jason takes it upon himself to teach the Penguin a permanent lesson. Meanwhile, Dick has been experiencing random bouts of mania and murderous intent, ever since getting dosed with the toxin. By the time he confronts Jason about the Penguin's vicious murder, Jason sees more of the Joker in Dick than he does in his nightmares. Fortunately for them both, there's no mystery in Gotham that Batman can't solve in time. The story is set in Gotham City, 1.5-2 years post the game Batman: Arkham Knight, but also features several flashbacks of bastardized canon scenes from the comics. If you're a stickler for canon, this will probably kill you dead so please bear that in mind. Besides that, there is a single instance of non-con and another instance of molestation. There are also two implied sex scenes which can be considered dub-con. There is pseudo-incest between Jason, Dick and Bruce. The Penguin gets tortured to death but the torture occurs off-screen and only the results are described in graphic detail. The polyamory is mentioned throughout but does not occur on-screen.

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11 Title: The Sacredness of Tears Word Count: 13k Genre: Romance, character study, elements of fantasy and drama/angst Fandom/Universe: Batman comics, set in the future and using events from New Earth and the current continuity Characters/Pairings: Tim Drake/Jason Todd, Tim Drake-centric Warnings: temporary character death, pseudo-incest, canon-typical violence, discussions of mental illness, parental abuse through neglect, swearing Rating: PG-13 (maybe R for swearing?) Summary: Tim Drake Wayne isn’t weak. He can’t be. And now that he can travel through time, he has the perfect tool to make sure he’ll never be vulnerable again. Gradually, Tim’s family, friends, and his slowly blossoming relationship to Jason teach him otherwise. The story is set in Gotham with scenes in Tim’s apartment, the Batcave, a diner and various rooftops. There are scenes with multiple members of the batfamily and Tim’s team. The romantic scenes are focused on cuddling and size difference. The plot spans several years. Tim is eighteen at its beginning and twenty-five at its end. There is one detailed description of a meltdown or anxiety/panic attack. There are discussions of mental illness; some symptoms of depression are shown, especially withdrawing from the world and diminished self-worth, but nothing too bad and absolutely no hint of self-harm or suicide. Jason dies in one scene (not the canonical temporary death), but that is quickly reversed. There are descriptions of injuries. The parental abuse refers to Tim’s and Jason’s canonical backstories, not Bruce (who tries to be a good parent in this).

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12 Title: The Nightingale Word Count: ~14k total, 8.5k written Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe, Drama, Healing Fic (kinda) Fandom/Universe: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd Warnings: No Warnings Apply Rating: NC-17 Summary: Crushed by the guilt of Jason's death, Dick quits the vigilante life, gives up Nightwing, begs Bruce for a clean slate, and runs away to New York City. He takes shelter at the Nightingale, a nightclub where Dick works as an exotic dancer, a stripper named Richie. Dick uses the blinding stage lights, Bloody Marys, and a mysterious man named Jay to hide his past. However, Dick's rather painful former life is slowly uncovered by Jay through a series of one night stands. Meanwhile, Dick also has some unconventional run-ins with the Red Hood, a supposed antihero working in the tri-state area and associated with the family Dick has not had any relations with for over five years. Old wounds reappear, and Dick's new life slowly falls apart around him as the truth comes to light. Set primarily in NYC, in the Nightingale nightclub and at the different hotel rooms Jay books. Towards the end, Dick and Jason will eventually move back into Gotham City and Wayne Manor. Story takes place five years after Jason's death. Dick's "new" life is an emotional roller coaster of hurt/comfort, a path of healing, a life built on lies, and identity porn woven all throughout it, until it is all untangled in the end.

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13 Title: Between Flight Word Count: ~15k, 10.8k written Genre: Romance, Drama, Humor, Alternate Universe Fandom/Universe: Batman - All Media Types Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd Warnings: No Warnings Apply Rating: PG-13 Summary: Jason is a 15-year-old orphan, living at a crappy orphanage, going to school because it is the only fun in life, and dreaming of the day he becomes eighteen. After a little altercation with a pickpocket, Jason meets Robin, and from that night on, Jason could not get rid of the Boy Wonder. Coincidentally, Dick Grayson starts at Jason's school as well, and decides to befriend him of all people. Jason finds himself being tugged in two directions - towards a charming and talkative circus boy with a past similar to his, and towards Gotham's own hero in scaly panties. Over the course of a couple weeks, Jason is dumped at a school dance, kissed on rooftops, taken on dates a couple times a week, and even glared at by the Batman himself. Needless to say, Jason finds that his life is a lot more interesting after he met both Dick and Robin. But of course things smell fishy to Jason. Especially when Robin knows tricks that only Mr. Circus Boy can do. Or when Dick uses the same girly shampoo as the teen hero. Or when their identical disarming smiles send bursts of happiness straight through Jason's heart. Batman might be the World's Greatest Detective, but Jason Todd is not so shabby either. Set primarily at Jason and Dick's high school, the orphanage, the rooftops of Gotham City, the luxurious halls of Wayne Manor, with special appearances of "date" locations around the city. Jason is 15, while Dick is 17.

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14 Title: Moon Dust On Your Lips Word Count: ~6100 Genre: Romance, First Time, Mutual Pining Fandom/Universe: Batman and Green Lantern, no specific canon Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Hal Jordan Warnings: Mild sub/Dom, explicit sex, biting and bruising, praise kink Rating: NC-17 Summary: The Justice League is trying to expand their potential pool of allies in the known universe, and with the help of their Green Lanterns, they set off to personally negotiate with as many people as they can. Everyone is involved, but it mostly falls to Bruce/Batman and Hal Jordan. The longer Bruce and Hal work together, the more Bruce let's Hal see under the cowl, and the more Hal starts to like what he sees. Bruce even accepts advice from Hal on an issue dealing with his children. Then Hal, returning exhausted from a mission to Oa, loses his temper at the tail end of a League meeting. He says something stupid within Batman's hearing, and then goes off to get decidedly drunk with Barry. Hal confesses that he has a crush on Bruce, but there isn't anyway that he can see it ever happening, so he decides to just ignore it and move on with his life. Bruce doesn't exactly get the memo right away, but as soon as Hal starts physically distancing himself from Bruce as much as possible, their tentative friendship falls to the wayside. Soon, Bruce and Hal are back to being uneasy coworkers. It culminates with Bruce and Hal on the return trip of another successful negotiation, when their escorts decide to up and leave them in the Middle of Nowhere, Spaceville in a small, cramped, one man space pod. There's an argument, confessions, and then sex, before being rescued. The story takes place in a variety of locations, including Wayne Manor, the Watchtower, Barry's apartment, and the space pod. The sex will include Bruce manhandling a very willing Hal, with some rougher edges (biting and bruising, praise kink).

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15 Title: Happy Middles Word Count: ~4600 Genre: PWP Fandom/Universe: Batman and Green Lantern, no specific canon Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Hal Jordan Warnings: Somnophilia, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Noise Kink Rating: NC-17 Summary: Basically a slice of life PWP about the time Hal and Bruce make for each other, specifically how Bruce's ends his nights and how Hal starts his days. Bruce comes home early from a shortened patrol and joins Hal in bed a few hours before Hal has to go to work. Hal falls back asleep, and then wakes Bruce up when he starts exhibiting signs of a wet dream. Bruce pleasures Hal until he wakes up, and then gets Hal off. Hal turns the tide on Bruce, teasing him until Hal decides he's ready to ride Bruce to their mutual completion. This takes place solely in Bruce's and Hal's bedroom in the Manor, described as having a darker color scheme with blues, blacks, and grays. All kinks are negotiated prior to the story, as this is a well established, husbands!fic. No noncon here.

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16 Title: Hold Me Tight (or Don't) Word Count: 6055 Genre: Mystery, Angst, possible supernatural elements Fandom/Universe: Batman, no specific universe Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul, Conner Kent, Jason Todd Warnings: Medical experiments, but non-graphic Rating: Teen Summary: Sometimes, a Family is you, your Beloved's dead kid in a coma, and your Beloved's best friend's "clone" who's other gene donor is sort-of kind-of your boss off to play at politics Or There’s been a rash of robberies in Gotham, leaving Batman puzzled as to what the villains are up to, all the while seeing Jason appear to him, even though he’s been dead for a few weeks. Meanwhile. Talia takes care of a comatose Jason, while discovering Lex’s secret project taking a form no one expected. On the other side of bay/river, Clark is investigating a mysterious Cadmus fire, under a building Lex Luthor (who is now the president) owns. Not to mention the mysterious new villain who may be more connected to the robberies in Gotham that it seems.

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17 Title: untitled as of yet! Word Count: 3039 Genre: 5+1 things, fluff, probably eventual smut Fandom/Universe: dc extended universe, films 2013-present Characters/Pairings: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Warnings: none Rating: T at the moment, will likely slide into M/E Summary: After a few months of working together side-by-side as a team while not actively trying to kill each other (even in their spare time), Clark realizes he’s developed Feelings for Bruce. He knows Bruce is stubborn and self-isolating, so he decides the best plan is to figure out a way to make things a little (incidentally) romantic without scaring off Bruce: little notes on rooftops, a dubiously agreed upon makeover by Lois, advice from Barry and Victor and Diana—even Alfred ends up in on the game. Unfortunately for Clark, Bruce is even more slippery (or oblivious) than he ever imagined. Maybe what Clark really needs is a little help from a Higher Authority… or, the five times Clark Kent tried (and failed) to seduce Bruce Wayne, and the one time Bruce Wayne allowed himself to be epically seduced.

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18 Title: the weight of eventuality Word Count: 24,000 Genre: Romance, /Action, Drama Fandom/Universe: CWTV Flash (2014) Characters/Pairings: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Team Flash Warnings: canon typical violence, graphic sex Rating: NC-17 Summary: Life was pretty great for Barry Allen, honestly. Team Flash successfully pulled him out of the Speed Force, he still had his job, and all of his friends and family where there to support him. Eddie and Iris were expecting their first child, and even with everything that happened between Caitlin and Julian, the team worked as well as ever together. Barry didn't want to tell them that he was still slipping backward and forward in time, or that every night the Speed Force made him witness the death of Leonard Snart. Rescuing Leonard was easy. Falling in love with him? not really part of the plan. With Captain Cold back in Central City, it was hard to remember that there were other people out there who wanted to do more than flirt and steal pretty jewelry. It was just a matter of time until they made their move. This story takes place mostly in Central City, with a detour into the Speed Force. There isn't really anything to warn for, I think. There's an explicit consensual sex scene near the end of the story, and canon typical violence and injury. There's some mention of minor medical procedures. There's technically some torture, but that happens off screen and Barry is in the speed force of the entirety of it, so there's no graphic detail.

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19 Title: your continental divides Word Count: 9k Genre: Hurt/Comfort Fandom/Universe: DCU. not set in a specific universe, borrows from several continuities. Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson centric, Batfam and company, Gen Warnings: non-con Rating: PG-13 Summary: After Catalina Flores, Dick is dealing the way Bruce taught him: push it down and carry on. It's not working out very well, and people are starting to catch on. The story is set mostly in Gotham, and guests a few characters besides the batfam (mostly Wally and Roy). It's essentially just an exercise in letting Dick be comforted by the people who love him. This focuses on dealing with the sexual assault from Nightwing #93. The assault is not graphically depicted but is referenced and discussed, in addition to self-destructive behaviors and a variety of coping mechanisms.

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20 Title: Broken Wings and Notched Arrows. Word Count: Around 6-6.5k total. 4,280 written Genre: Action, Romance, Drama. Fandom/Universe: Young Justice, Batman. Characters/Pairings: Will Harper (Roy Harper's clone)/ Jason Todd Warnings: Temporary Character death, mild language, mild violence, small age gape, Rating: NC-17 Summary: The only thing Will Harper wanted to be doing that fine winter morning was to play dress up with his beautiful daughter Lian. What he got however was a surprise visit from the legendary Bruce "Batman" Wayne. And if that wasn't a big enough shock being hired by said legend was icing on the cake. So now instead of spending Christmas with Lian Will is kind of, maybe being held against his will on Infinity Island. Bright side he did find Jason Todd like he was hired to. This story takes place in multiple locations. The main set is in the Caribbeans, mostly Infinity Island and the League of Assassins HQ. It also show cases Will's home in Star City and a major fight screen in Gotham. There is no major warnings. Temporary Character death as Jason Todd doesn't stay dead for long. Some violence but nothing more then a few short details of fight scenes. No gore just a little blood.

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21 Title: Masks Word Count: 7,783 Genre: Action/Adventure and Romance Fandom/Universe: Batman Comics, post-Infinite Crisis Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Alfred Pennyworth Warnings: Incest, canon typical violence, explicit sex Rating: NC-17 Summary: Continuation of pre-new 52 canon. Jason's back in Gotham. All he wants to do is figure out how he can successfully help fix his city, without falling foul of the rest of the Bats and the GCPD again. He's even hung up his red hood in an attempt to stay under the radar. When he discovers that Alfred is in danger from the gang he's investigating, he infiltrates a costume ball at Wayne Manor in disguise as a supervillain. He ends up flirting with Dick to stop him interfering with the rescue plan. Dick doesn't realise who he is and flirts back until they end up making out furiously in a closet. Afterwards neither of them can get the encounter out of their heads, and they start to get to know each other again. Featuring conversations with Alfred, Dick attending a party in a Superman costume, Jason spray painting his red hood grey, everyone rescuing each other and lots and lots of pining. Warning for pseudo-incest between the adopted brothers, Dick and Jason when they reach adulthood.

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22 Title: Sleeping Beauty Syndrome Word Count: 9k written. Genre: Romance, Angst, Fairytale Rewrite Fandom/Universe: Nightwing, Red Hood and the Outlaws Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd Warnings: Horror, gore Rating: PG-13 Summary: Dick Grayson and Jason Todd have been living the perfect life. Happily married for more than five years with two perfect sons, they have everything they could possibly need. Unfortunately, good things don't last forever. Struck by a spell during a mission, Jason's mind has been scattered, putting him into a deep sleep and the only way to wake him up is for Dick to put his pieces back together. The task won't be as easy because each part of Jason has been hidden within a fairy tale, a world tempting Dick to make one wrong move and doom his husband and himself forever. The story will take place over multiple locations, including rewrites of fairy tales like Snow White, Alice in Wonderland, Little Red Riding Hood, The Princess and the Pauper, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.

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23 Title: we just now got the feeling that we're meeting (for the first time) Word Count: Around 36K (34K written) Genre: Drama, Romance, Fluff, Angst Fandom/Universe: Superman and Batman, DCEU canon/movie canon Characters/Pairings: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne; Lex Luthor, Diana Prince, Barry Allen, Arthur Curry, Victor Stone Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Rating: Teen Summary: While fighting Lex Luthor for his latest weapon, a time weapon, Bruce Wayne gets hit and sent back twenty years into the past. Meeting Clark Kent on some snowy mountain side in Alaska was not exactly what Bruce thought would happen, but he’s here now and there’s nothing for him to do except wait for his team to pull him back to the future. Unfortunately, he doesn’t quite know when that will be, so sticking with Clark is his best option. Of course, it would be much easier if Bruce wasn’t already pining for Clark in the future. How long until Bruce is pulled back into the future, and will he be able to stop himself from falling in love with Clark Kent in the past and potentially creating a time paradox? This story is set in a couple of locations. Most of it is set in the past in Alaska during the beginning of Clark’s pilgrimage, specifically in the Denali National Park. Other locations include the Wayne-Turned-League Manor, Bruce’s Lake-House in Gotham city, and the lake itself! Primarily it involves young versions of Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne, although the very beginning section and at the last few parts of the end is focused on the present/older versions of them. There are no Archive Warnings that apply to this story. It is mainly an excuse to just write cute scenes of Bruce and Clark falling in love in the snow with the added bit of dealing with time travel, with a lot of focus on Bruce Wayne's character! The most rated this story goes is the occasional swear word.

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24 Title: Scarlet Tears Word Count: 12,914 Genre: Action Fandom/Universe: AU Characters/Pairings: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Warnings: mention mpreg Rating: M+ Summary: Leonard and Mick take a mini vacation from the Legends and head back to Central City. It is there they find out things aren't as them left it. A certain speedster has the attention of Captain Cold when an accident happen will he be able to resist staying away from this particular speedster?

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25 Title: Absent Shadows Word Count: 3487 Genre: Action/Adventure, Hurt/Comfort Fandom/Universe: Justice League Animated/Teen Titans Characters/Pairings: Robstar & Superbat Warnings: None Rating: NC-17 Summary: Starfire can’t believe her eyes when Robin sends her his resignation from the team, in fact she doesn’t believe it all. As she investigates Robin’s disappearance, she considers his similarities with his father and in the chaos, she meets a fellow traveller to this strange planet she calls home. Whilst they learn about each other, she seeks his experience when falling in love with both Earth and more specifically men from a certain family.

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26 Title: Make an Ass of U and Me Word Count: probably 10k-12k (6k written) Genre: Romance, Comedy Fandom/Universe: DCEU Characters/Pairings: Clark/Bruce, Dick&Bruce Warnings: sort of assumed incest, but no actual incest Rating: Teen Summary: Bruce neglects to tell the newly formed Justice League that he has a son, because he and Dick aren't talking to each other . Until they suddenly are. Unfortunately, he doesn't clarify who exactly Dick is to him, so Clark gets the wrong impression. Or: Five times Clark thought Dick was Bruce's boyfriend, and the one time he found out the truth. Contains lots of unfounded jealousy, misunderstandings, Dick being delightful, and Clark being a mess. Lots of domestic settings, mostly around the lake house and the batcave, with the exception of one battle scene.

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27 Title: Honey Trap Word Count: 7.7k Genre: Porn-with-plot, crime/modern AU Fandom/Universe: DCU (Comics) Characters/Pairings: Slade Wilson/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson Warnings: Consent issues (consent is there on both sides, but dubious on one side due to situation), manipulation, some BDSM-style kink Rating: NC17 Summary: Slade's used to dealing with informants. Most get caught in the screening process before they ever get a hold of anything useful, but this one, 'Jason Todd,' gets as far as working in the lower ranks of his organization before Billy drops the file on his desk. Another attempt at an undercover CI from Detective Grayson, this time just some random arrested civilian, instead of a fellow officer. Billy would prefer that he throw him out now, but Todd's not bad looking, and Slade likes the idea of ruining this plant just like he ruined the last one. Modern AU, no-capes. Aside from sex scenes, one character is primarily in part/all of a suit throughout scenes. As Slade is aware from the start that Jason's a plant, the sex has some consent issues. Jason is doing it partly to ingratiate himself, and Slade absolutely manipulates him into it. However, Jason enjoys/consents to everything that happens, it's only the situation that's sketchy.

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28 Title: Don't Let Your Yearnings Get Ahead of Your Earnings Word Count: 7.2k Genre: Western, technically Romance Fandom/Universe: DCU (Comics) Characters/Pairings: Slade Wilson/Jason Todd Warnings: Some non-consensual touching, non-sexual Rating: PG-13 Summary: Slade Wilson is a bounty hunter, one of the best in the business. The contracts that specify 'alive and unharmed' are rarer, but usually worth the extra bonus that comes with. This one is definitely not. Jason Todd was supposed to be just another young outlaw with more balls than brains, not a slippery sharpshooter who Slade would have to chase halfway to the next town. And just to add to everything, he still has to get the damned boy all the way back. That's going to be fun. Western AU with bounty-hunter Slade and an outlaw-ish Jason. Most of the story is traveling, but there will be an inside-mansion scene near the end with Roman Sionis. No real warnings for this. There's some brief non-consensual touching of intimate bits, but it's entirely non-sexual.

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29 Title: [insert song lyric here] Word Count: 8084 Genre: It's a slowburn at its core, with action and drama mixed in Fandom/Universe: DCAU's Justice League/Unlimited Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Wally West, Shayera Hol, J'onn J'onzz, John Stewart, Diana, Clark Kent Warnings: human trafficking, threat of dub/non-con, language, sexual themes Rating: R Summary: Ever since their run in with the Justice Lords, Flash and Batman reached a new stage in their teammates-but-not-quite-friendship. The only problem is Flash is the only one who seems to think that, so he decides to see how far he can push at Batman's annoyance level before the Bat snaps at him. Unfortunately for Flash, their job keeps getting in the way, including but not limited to stumbling upon a human trafficking ring and a worldwide invasion. When the dust settles, Flash finds himself wanting more from the man under the cowl, and the harder Batman pulls away, the harder Flash is drawn to the man and his elusiveness. The Fastest Man Alive needs to rely on his patience if he wants to get anywhere in his quest. This story takes place throughout the entirety of DCAU's Justice League as well as the first two seasons of Justice League Unlimited, with the main locations being the Watchtower and Wayne Manor. The human trafficking and threat of dub/non-con are contained to two scenes in which a main character falls into trouble, but nothing too graphic occurs. Still, the subject matter isn't everyone's cup of tea. The R rating is just to be extra safe.

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30 Title: Anachronistic Crises Crossover Word Count: 8k Genre: Gen, Crossover, Fluff Fandom/Universe: Red Robin, Batman- All Media Types, DC Comics Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd (Post Crisis),Tim Drake, Jason "Jay" Todd (Pre-Crisis)/Rena(Pre- crisis), Jason "Jay" Todd (Pre-Crisis), Rena(Pre- crisis) Warnings: Period Typical homophobia, possible inclusions of bad mental health care later Rating: T (just to be safe) Summary: Coming off of the Search for Ray Palmer, Jason Todd reconciled with his family. Just in time for Batman's apparent death. After an international adventure that led them to finding the batman, said batman in his Hyper-Adapter crazed state seemingly vaporized them with Omega Energy. Jason and Tim wake up to find themselves stranded in Gotham, New Jersey where its somehow the April of 1986. Tim takes the lead and stalks a young person also named Jason Todd- who is very unlike the one he knows. The Alfred Pennyworth with him seems similar enough though. In there efforts to observe this world's Bat-family Tim ends up having to go to high school again- where the shear amount of brightly colored clothes that are either skin tight or falling off makes him want to claw his eyes out. Jason is comparatively having a much better time as a librarian in the Gotham Public Library to fund their tiny studio apartment with money that doesn't look fake for the time period. Night work continues as well, with Red Hood and the vigilante named by the media as "Shrike". Their quick and calculated moves on the Gotham drug trade lead them to colliding first with this world's Robin. Jason alone is confronted by the Batman, and nearly has a panic attack though Tim will never be privy to that information. Gotham is a not as insane back drop of retro-not-so-chic. Jason enjoys the small pleasures of being legally alive and having a job. Tim doesn't cope well without all his compact gadgetry and hates school- but likes the closeted lesbian couple he meets. A budding bat-detective trying to figure out who these new and weird people are, and who these new sci-fi like vigilantes are. Will the people back home in Tim and Jason's Gotham ever succeed in getting them home? The entire fic takes place in either version of Gotham, with the exception of the Watchtower being there for like 5 minutes. Post-Crisis Gotham features locations like Oracle's clock-tower Jason is wearing his Under the Red Hood costume, Tim cosplays as knock off Midnighter (red robin), Bruce has blue accents and trunks, and Robin-Jay makes Jason re-live cold nights in hot-pants and pixie boots.

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31 Title: Batsons Be Crazy Word Count: 11,169 words Genre: Fluff With Plot Fandom/Universe: Batfam + Shazam basically DCU leaning towards the comics Characters/Pairings: Damian Wayne/Billy Batson Warnings: None Apply Rating: Teen Summary: The story takes place over a year, a year of Billy and Damian teaming up, falling in love, and meeting family. Damian has never liked anyone before, while Billy sees the best in everyone and will fall in love at the drop of a hat. Their romance isn't a crazy one, it's one built off of trust, comfort, and most importantly, a love of animals. Their romance brings them to many places, including Canada, Dick Grayson's apartment, and the dinner table in the manor. No warning apply except maybe underage because Damian is 17 when he begins to peruse Billy as a romantic interest, but doesn't start seeing him until he's 18.

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32 Title: The Past Still Ties You Down Word Count: 7k Genre: Angst, Romance Fandom/Universe: The Flash (TV) Characters/Pairings: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Warnings: implied/referenced violence and abuse, alcohol abuse Rating: NC-17 Summary: On another earth, Barry falls in love with the most hated man in Central City - mob boss Leonard Snart. Only, Central doesn’t know Len like he does. They didn’t grow up with him like Barry did, sleeping in the bed above him, patching up his wounds and crawling under the covers with him when his bullies had been especially cruel. Even as the years go by - where Len is no longer a teenage boy forced into a life he didn't choose and Barry is no longer the child still grieving his mother while hating the father who killed her - they can't seem to let go of each other. Set in multiple locations in Central City, including a foster home, hospital, and the West house. The violence and abuse are not actually shown, but the aftermath is (ie. patching up wounds, some blood, some discussion of specific actions after the fact).

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33 Title: Unfortunate Souls Word Count: around 8-9k total, 4958 written Genre: Dark Fairy Tale Fandom/Universe: Batman, Batfamily Characters/Pairings: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Slade Wilson, Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd/Slade Wilson Warnings: dub con (may have a bad ending that pushes it into non con) Rating: Explicit, NC-17 Summary: Based off of The Little Mermaid (Disney film mixed with aspects of the original fairy tale) as well as fandom-type Mer AU’s. With red-headed Jason taking the part of Ariel, Dick as Prince Eric, and Slade as Ursula. Jason, adopted prince of King Bruce’s underwater kingdom, is fascinated by all things human. One night, while stargazing on the surface, he decides to follow a ship out of curiosity. On the ship is a handsome human prince who steals his heart. After an accident, Jason risks his life to save the human, which puts him at odds with Bruce. After inadvertently challenging Bruce during an argument about his ‘hobby’, Jason flees the realm and accepts the offer of octo-mer Deathstroke, a one-time rival of Bruce’s, to turn him human. But Slade’s intentions are murky and hidden. He wants Bruce’s throne, his son, and if he gets a human pet out of the deal, that’s just one more trophy to show that he is the stronger Mer. The story is set in the underwater mer kingdom ruled by Bruce; Slade’s underwater lair; and the idyllic land kingdom of Bludhaven, ruled by Price Richard. I haven’t decided whether I want a happy ending, like the film, where Jason and Dick ride off into the sunset or a bad ending where Slade gets everything he wants. If happy, there will be some dub con between Jason and Slade when they make the agreement and later when Slade is using magic to enthrall Dick. If I go with the bad ending, there will likely be some non con.

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34 Title: You Will See Me Word Count: 6,146 Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Character Analysis, Canon-divergent Fandom/Universe: Young Justice Characters/Pairings: Arsenal (Roy Harper), Artemis Crock, Roy Harper (Will Harper), Oliver Queen, Dinah Lance, Lian Harper || Oliver/Dinah, Arsenal & Artemis Warnings: Trauma, PTSD, Realistic depictions of injury, Physical Disability, Recovery Rating: PG-13 Note: Arsenal, and thus Roy, are trans men in this fic. Summary: After being rescued from the clutches of Lexcorp, a cryochamber, and no future, Arsenal struggles to find his grip on life. Between the vast amounts of anger, fear, and loss, he fights to cling to autonomy. A mentor he feels betrayed him, a clone he isn't sure how to relate to, and a couple of badass women who may not have known him, but are here for him, Arsenal is just learning to live again. A heavy introspection fic on the nature of the trauma Arsenal has been through, and his road to healing. Exploring the relationships he has with Oliver, Dinah, Roy, and Artemis especially, but others as well. The two weeks between his rescue, and his first mission with the team are rife with trouble and struggle, but he has a fire and a determination in him that will get him through. The hell of the War World and the true recovery afterwards. Learning to forgive Oliver, learning to accept Roy for himself, a separate entity than himself, getting to know Artemis and the real and true bond they form. Forgiveness, healing, and his fair share of slips and bumps, Arsenal finds closure, acceptance, and comfort in his life.

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35 Title: Build Me A Place (we'll call it home) Word Count: 6,800 story (+outline of ending) Genre: Fluff, Minor Angst Fandom/Universe: Batman, Superman, Justice League Characters/Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Louis Lane, Kara Danvers Warnings: None Rating: PG-13 Summary: Kryptonians are not human. It’s easy to forget, even for Clark. That being an alien means more than his powers. There are traits rooted into the DNA, coming out in the subconscious, until not even Clark notices. Kryptonians, among other things, build Bowers for their mates, beautiful homes to settle into. It’s more than a tradition, it’s a way of life. When Clark begins to redecorate, he doesn't know why it matters so much to him. And why it hurts so badly when Bruce doesn’t even care.

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36 Title: Little Scab Word Count: 6,246 words Genre: gen, family, found family, community Fandom/Universe: DCU, Batfam, Red Hood Characters/Pairings: Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain, OFC, Bruce Wayne, Batfam Warnings: violence, descriptions of abuse, non-graphic allusions to sex acts Rating: M for violence, adult themes Summary: Red Hood is not a hero to most. Outlaw, yes. Killer... yes. He and his estranged family all serve some role as self-described protectors, but only Jason Todd delivers his justice in blood. However, following one good deed and the start of a fledgling friendship, Jason finds the Red Hood tasked with leading a self defense class for some of Gotham's most vulnerable—homeless, prostitutes, and runaways. When the Batfamily members start catching on, will they approve? First appears Robin. Then Black Bat. Who next? What will Batman ultimately do about his wayward ward stirring up Crime Alley? Can Jason be trusted to keep Gotham safe? The story is set in Gotham, featuring set pieces like Crime Alley, warehouses, tall buildings, the Bat cave, and more. It features many Batfam characters as well as several OCs all taking part in self defense instruction, with a few action scenes thrown in. The story does contain graphic violence, including allusions to or descriptions of past physical, sexual, and/or psychological abuse. It deals with mature themes but is ultimately about forging friendships, building community, and becoming better stewards of Gotham.

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Second claims will close Saturday, July 13th 23:59 MDT, when all fanworker sign-ups will be closed.

[marinsawakening]

Fake dating? Then they realise they're way better as a qpr, and switch to that?

This is 2000+ words and got way out of hand, hence why it took so long. Also, I changed the prompt slightly to an already established qpr (not that that comes up until the last possible second), and there’s only one explicitly arospec character, but for the record, Ed is totally nebularomantic in this. Warnings are minimal, except for extensive swearing and some sexual references. Lastly: No editing we die like men.

Summary: AU where Ed, Winry, Al, and Paninay are master thiefs planning a heist for various large diamonds, and in order to succeed, Ed and Winry go undercover as a married couple. 

This wasn’t going as planned. Or, more accurately: this was going exactly as planned, and he absolutely hated it.

As predicted, the crusty old nobles had bought the charade hook, line, and sinker, and now all that was left to do was scout the territory, grab the jewels, and vanish into the night. Problem was, neither Al nor Paninya had given the signal yet, and so he was stuck actually pretending to date Winry, exactly as they had planned.

“Your wife is lovely, Mr. Rockbell-Elric,” purred the old fuck they were planning to rob next to him, and Ed drained his wine in one swig. Winry was entertaining some socialites further up the buffet table, but she threw him a pointed glare. Keep off the wine, it warned, you have a job to do.

In response, Ed rolled his eyes.

“I see she’s not a fan of drink, though,” Old Fuck said, bemused. “Mine isn’t either. After we got married, she put me on a strict no-alcohol policy, as if I’m some child that can’t handle my liquor!”

“Must be tough,” Ed managed to spit out from behind gritted teeth. Thankfully, Old Fuck was too self-absorbed to notice a thing.

“Truly! Women, I swear, always nagging, and nagging, and nagging, as if we cannot think for ourselves! I wish my wife would shut up and think about me for once. But, well, I suppose it could be worse; after all, she does have a nice pair of -”

“Lord D’Argent!” Winry interrupted right before Ed would have been forced to smash the Fuck’s head in, with a smile that dialed up the ass-kissing to eleven. “May I express my gratitude for being invited to your party? Winry Rockbell-Elric, at your service. I see you’ve met my husband?”

“Oh yes!” Old Fuck - D’Argent, and yes he had actually known that, he just didn’t particularly care - swung an arm over Ed’s shoulder, and it took every ounce of self restraint he had not to slice if off right then and there, but he managed, and even conjured up a smile. “Lovely man, excellent taste in wine. You’ve got yourself quite a catch, Ms. Rockbell-Elric.”

“Please, call me Winry.” She held out a gloved hand for D’Argent to kiss, who eagerly complied. “After all, we’re all friends here, are we not?”

“Quite! I’ll be terribly sorry to see you go tonight.”

Us and your priced jewels, Ed thought, and the smile on his face became slightly more real.

“About that,” Winry began, voice smooth as a dagger. “I’m afraid I must ask you for a favor. See, I have been informed by one of your staff that, unfortunately, some saboteur seems to have slashed the tires of my automobile, and as I am not currently in the possession of a replacement, I will need to stay here until the garage can send men to help us repair it.”

And, just like that, Ed’s smile slipped off his face.

“I’m sorry?” Ed exclaimed. “Our car has been sabotaged?”

It was bullshit, obviously. There was no saboteur in the world who could out-sabotage Winry, and they definitely had some replacement tires hiding around the car. The car being supposedly so damaged that they’d need to wait for professional non-Winry help could only mean one thing: Al and Paninya had encountered more difficulties than expected, and now they were moving on to plan B.

“I’m afraid so, sweetheart,” Winry replied, honey dripping off her smile.

Ed fucking hated plan B even more than he hated plan A.

“That’s terrible!” Lord D’Argent said indignantly, wiggling his overly large mustache. “I cannot believe some scoundrel would have the nerve to do this on my grounds! You have my sincerest apologies, Mr. and Ms. Rockbell-Elric, and of course I welcome you to stay at my home for as long as you need.”

“Much obliged, Lord D’Argent.” Winry made a quick courtesy, and, after a beat too long, Ed followed her example and bowed. “Much obliged,” he repeated through gritted teeth. “You have our thanks.”

“Nonsense! It’s the least I could do for such lovely newly weds.”

On moments like these, Ed really wished there was a God above, just so he could have someone to strangle.

///

“What the fuck?” he hissed, as soon as they’d been left in their assigned rooms. Winry was unimpressed.

“The safe was tougher than we’d anticipated, and Paninya can’t crack it. Al slashed the tires and hid the replacements so that we’d have an excuse to stay longer. I’m going to join them at the safe tonight, so that me and Paninya can hopefully break through together.”

“And if you can’t?”

“Then the brakes of our car and those of the D’Argents will ‘mysteriously’ be cut, making it impossible for us to move out just yet.”

“Fuck.” Ed fell back on the bed, burying his head in his arms. “Fuck. I’d agreed to one night of fake marriage, one night.”

“Don’t be such a baby, you can last for a day or so more.”

“Our backstory can’t!”

“Then we’ll just need to work on it more.” Winry gently sat on the other side of the bed, her face softening slightly as she looked at him. “Look, Ed, neither of us likes this very much, but we need to get those jewels. You know that.”

Ed didn’t answer, and finally, Winry just sighed.

“Fine, be like that. But we’ll still need to work on our cover.”

“We married last spring, you’re pregnant, we’re naming the baby Fuck You.”

“Maybe something a little less crude, but I like the pregnancy bit.”

“I don’t.”

“Tough. I vote we name the baby Urey if it’s a guy or Sarah if it’s a girl.”

“Really? Naming them after your dead parents?”

“It’s just the kind of drama the D’Argents will eat up.”

“And what if the kid is actually nonbinary, hm?”

“Ed, we all know that in high society, trans people don’t exist.”

“Are we having a gender reveal party too?”

“Obviously.”

That actually managed to get a laugh from Ed, who promptly tried to smother it. Winry smiled down at him, her whole being radiating smugness. “See? It won’t be that bad.”

“Okay, fine.” Ed tried to hide his grin as he sat up proper. “Let’s fuck with some rich people.”

///

After Ed had accepted his cruel fate, it was actually not as bad as he’d feared.

“We’re planning to name the child Urey or Sarah, after Winry’s parents,” he said, a small but proud (and very fake) smile on his face, and he glanced at Winry from the corner of his eyes. She fluttered her eyelashes in a way that was almost cartoonish, but she pecked him on the cheek and the D’Argents practically melted in front of his eyes.

“That’s so terribly sweet,” Lady D’Argent cooed, leaning forward with a hungry look in her face. “What made you settle on them? Me and my husband have been arguing for ages about baby names, and yet, we haven’t been able to reach any consensus.”

They probably thought that they were being subtle, but if looks could kill, the D’Argent couple would have committed murder several times over during this dinner. Not for the first time, Ed wished he could break cover to yell ‘Get a divorce!’. Sadly, he had to settle for: “She suggested it, and it was so absolutely perfect, I didn’t see a reason to argue. We don’t argue all that much, honestly!”

It was a blatant, horrid lie, and Winry quickly turned her laugh into a cough. “It’s true,” she added. “It’s as if we were made for each other.”

“When did you first fall in love?” Lady D’Argent said, pointedly not looking at Lord D’Argent.

“We’ve simply never not known,” Winry answered, hanging just a little closer to Ed to emphasize the point.

“Yes,” Ed added. “She’s always felt very different than all the other friends I had. Totally. Very distinct.”

“Oh, I completely understand what you mean,” Lady D’Argent said, and she grabbed Lord D’Argent’s hand, who looked as if he wanted nothing more than to run away. “When I first saw my dear Micheal, I immediately knew he was the one.”

“Love at first sight, yes, very romantic.”

“Ed, honey, haven’t you had enough wine for the day?”

“Why, Winry, my darling, don’t you want a glass as well?”

“Oh, I’d rather drink something else, if we may excuse ourselves to the bedroom?”

“Oh, yes, of course, we wouldn’t want to keep you,” Lady D’Argent replied, slightly green, although whether it was with disgust or envy, Ed couldn’t say.

“Thank you very much, my lady.” Winry inclined her head and, leaning on Ed a little heavier than necessary, with Ed’s arm wrapped around her a little tighter than normal, they left the banquet.

Back in the safety of their rooms, Ed burst out laughing.

“ ‘I’d rather drink something else’? Holy shit, Winry.”

“Got the job done, didn’t it?” She grinned smugly at him, before quickly switching demeanor to serious. “Alright, we need to get started.”

“Right.”

Quickly, they got to work. Ed opened the bag, pulling out a length of rope he handed to Winry, who had opened up the window and proceeded to tie the rope securely around the window sill, ready to be climbed on. They were on the ground without a sound, ran across the courtyard like shadows, and ducked into the western wing like ghosts, making their way to the safe perfectly unseen. Al and Paninya were waiting for them, just as planned.

“You lovebirds getting busy?” Paninya asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Apparently, Winry’s thirsty tonight,” Ed replied in deadpan.

“And Ed’s too drunk to stop me from ravaging him,” Winry agreed, also in complete seriousness.

“Guys, can we please make jokes about Ed and Winry fucking after we’ve stolen the priceless treasure?”  Al said, desperately.

“Al, don’t you know that love is the greatest treasure of all?” Paninya placed a hand over her heart. “I cannot believe I’m in cahoots with such a heartless monster.”

“Next time, I’m vetoing the marriage cover. For my sanity. I do not want to think about my brother having sex ever again.”

“How about we just swap you and Ed, then? You get to fake date your childhood friend!”

Al stared at her, completely unimpressed. “Right,” he said. “Because of course, sending in the aromantic to pretend to be in love will go way better than last time.”

Last time, there had been an on-fire clown.

“Fair enough,” Paninya rescinded. “And anyway, you’re right. We’ve got work to do.”

“Finally!” Winry exclaimed, putting on the safety goggles with a gigantic grin on her face. “Stand back. This’ll get hot.”

Dutifully, Ed stood back, and watched the show.

///

The diamonds in the safe were as big as his fist, and well worth the stupid charade. They even managed to get out of the mansion without too much of a fight.

“I can’t believe you bust your arm up again,” Winry muttered, looking at the mess of wires hanging out of his elbow. “They only shot five times!”

“You were in the line of fire for that fifth shot! Be glad I saved your life!”

“I’ll be glad when you stop giving me more work!”

“Lovebirds, could you tone it down? I’m trying to sleep.”

“We’re not in love!” came Ed and Winry’s chorus. Paninya just snorted.

“Right. Shut up either way, please.”

///

Truth was, Ed didn’t hate romance covers on principle. They could be fun, if he was allowed to turn them up to eleven just to fuck with people; if he was allowed to exaggerate, they could be quite a bit of fun to act.

Mostly, he hated the doubt that came after.

In their little shack, Al and Paninya took the two beds to sleep, while Ed and Winry took the first watch. They were in the middle of nowhere, forest stretching out endlessly across all sides, the starts shining bright in an onyx sea.

“Winry?”

“Hm?”

“So, in the hypothetical scenario that we’d ever get kids, what’d we name them?”

“Nothing to do with our dead parents. That’s just creepy.”

“It’s -” Ed hesitated for a second, shifting awkwardly. “I’m serious.”

Winry stared at him for a second, and he looked away. “You actually want to get kids?”

“I mean, I don’t know? I probably wouldn’t be parent of the year, with one deadbeat dad and one normally dead mother, but you know, I think I’d kind of like to try?” He knew that he was rambling at this point, but didn’t stop. “And I mean, is it even possible? I mean, what we’ve got is already weird, but I definitely don’t want it to be romantic, but I don’t know if you can get kids together without it being romantic?”

“Ed,” Winry cut him off. “When have we ever followed the rules?”

Looking at Winry, whose eyes twinkled like diamonds in the moonlight, he slowly grinned.

[aleksandrakv]

Social media in Adam Lambert’s life&career

It’s been so long since I’ve written anything longer than a tweet about Adam, but this stanning lethargy doesn’t reflect the level of my interest in the man. It may appear so, but can the lack of online presence automatically imply the lack of interest? In today’s state of affairs, when artists have carefully constructed and heavily monitored internet presence, when YouTube views are everything and the most powerful politicians seem to pay more attention to Twitter than their jobs, it would be understandable if it could. The www. has finally become literally that – a worldwide group chat, where presidents tweet, where actors, musicians and sportsmen keep vlogs on YouTube, writers publish their essays on Facebook, and everybody comments.

Adam Lambert has chosen not to do so. In an era when YouTube stars become singers who get Saturday Night Live slots where they whisper the lyrics into a microphone, and when the top trending video which garnered more than 30 million views in a day is one of a reality star announcing her pregnancy, Adam has taken a quiet step back in the past few years - and I together with him. I couldn’t help it. Twitter has lost its appeal to me ever since a constant possibility that Adam could see a particularly flaily or witty tweet was no longer an option – the magic of giddy anticipation was gone. For all intents and purposes, Adam has semi-abandoned Twitter and moved to Instagram; a Facebook affiliated app which I never took a liking to.

I was upset and a little resentful. I didn’t understand why. Not only did I have to suffer the cruel Atlantic Ocean between us, but now we were on different online apps, which is a fate way worse than living on different continents, according to cyber sense of geography. In my bitterness, I even had an occasional mean thought on the subject. Oh yeah, that’s because he can ogle hot guys there. What about MEEE? Or, even worse: it’s because of the filters. The man LOVES a good filter, the vain queen. Or, absolutely the worst: he wanted to escape the twitter crazies. It was the worst because I should have known that the crazies are everywhere. I was bitchy, mean, and so, so wrong. This essay is my redemption. The price I want to pay for my stupidity, because Adam does have a social media presence, albeit not as aggressive as I might like. There is a reason for that, which he has already given. I had read it before, but it flew right over me like a sparrow, equally tender and fragile, leaving my head unruffled and thoughtless as if nothing had happened.

Even on his preferred social network, Adam’s behavior is somewhat atypical, in a sense that he doesn’t hesitate to share less than perfect photos. Unfiltered, sweaty, in-your-face, flaking makeup photos of the realistic kind - a rare occurrence among the Hollywood hotties. But he is a geek like the rest of us. The anticipation of waiting for the first photos to appear when he has a concert is one of the best parts of being his fan. Adam is incredibly photogenic, but sometimes, those photos are low quality ones, taken by fans on their phones, from pretty unflattering angles. Adam somehow manages to look great in most of them, despite the low angles and the fact that great physical exertion makes everyone look awful. Being photographed in the middle of an adrenaline rush while singing from the top of your lungs for two hours is challenging. His facial features almost rearrange with strain, but Adam simply knows how to pose and is rarely caught off guard – a life’s tiny miracle.  I love those candid pictures. And Adam posts only the best of them.

It’s the professional photos where he shines the most. Those are usually true works of art, crispy sharp and simply stunning in their quality. I don’t think I’ve ever seen less than perfect professional photo of Adam. They capture the moments that would otherwise be missed and allow you to fully appreciate the visual side the concert. In videos, the focus is primarily on the sound and the movement, but if I had to choose which medium reflects Adam’s emotional state and journey during concerts best, I would choose photography. It’s a strange thing to say about a singer, but Adam has a very expressive face and body. It’s like their muteness and stillness don’t subtract, but add to the experience of Adam’s process of creation.

In addition to music photography, Adam posts everything and anything that’s important to him, seemingly with no rhyme or reason. His Instagram page is a mess, a potpourri of professional photos, fan photos, album covers, photos of his family, friends, his dog, travelling photos, fashion photos, and all that in uneven levels of quality which most posters would never allow themselves. Adam has it all, from professional HD quality to grainy and blurry shots taken by a phone. It’s a far cry from carefully coordinated, handpicked and posted after a thousandth try stylish representation of other serious posters. He doesn’t juice for a week before taking selfies. He doesn’t always filter. He doesn’t always look pretty. He isn’t always all mysterious and artistic. He’s sometimes such a goofball. He is definitely an undisciplined Instagram user. 

It’s a revealing fact. He deletes his posts sometimes, and I’m not sure if it’s the morning after self-filtering, or he gets the call. Social media can make or break a career nowadays. But on the other hand, you can be a successful artist without constant media presence – although it is a pretty rare occurrence. The only example coming to my mind is Frank Ocean. There are artists who have a modest number of followers and YouTube views, and yet they can and do fill up arenas, just as there are artists who have millions of followers and cannot have a decent tour. 

In Adam’s case, I feel like he is past making or breaking his career online. At this point, he doesn’t need a heavily moderated Instagram page or a vlogging channel to achieve anything - other than making me happier, that is. The fact that I would love if Adam was more present, by engaging with his fans more, or, in best case scenario, vlogging about his life and career (I would sell my firstborn for that), doesn’t mean much in grander scheme of things. Adam has allowed himself the luxury of doing what he wants, and his Instagram page reflects that in the clearest of ways. I am not saying he wouldn’t benefit from having 50 million followers on Twitter or Instagram, but, he just doesn’t have that. If he can’t get it from doing his job and being who he is, he will never get it anyway. He refuses to participate in the social media race. So, unlike many a budding YouTube star trying to make it in other fields by creating an ideal, unrealistic impression of themselves, with their uniform, heavily filtered, grayscale artsy photos, Adam’s multifarious posts do reveal a lot simply by not being what one would expect. He’s a rebel just for kicks there. 

Oh, there is some vanity there; he isn’t above it nor does he pretend to be. He smizes and pouts in many filtered photos and videos, enjoying his flawless skin provided by Instagram CEO Kevin Systrom’s filtering system, turning his head like this and like that like a Valley girl – but that’s just Adam playing with his toy. He has this proclivity for ridiculous behavior; that and the fact that he loves the ageless chibi art of Creative Sharka makes me sometimes think that he has entered a serious fear-of-getting-old phase. It would have been true if he posted such photos only, which he most definitely doesn’t.

Adam is a naturally beautiful man, why does he have to goof around like that? Well, because he is so much more than that. Because more than stunning good looks, he has a killer sense of humor. Because more than looking pretty and feeding his vanity, he loves having fun. He mocks himself, too. “I swear I didn't realize I was making full duck face” is his own comment on a truly astounding full duck face he made while trying to credit Valentino for a clothing item. He loves stand-up comedy. He’s watched the Amy Schumer Leather special, and the Ricky Gervais Humanity special, and posted about both shows. That’s how I know.

There’s a selfie which he took while Antinous was being tattooed on his torso – a particularly painful experience, according to him; hence the awkward facial expression. The photo is so ridiculous and unflattering that it immediately reminded me of the comical selfies which Ricky Gervais takes all the time, trying to look as ugly as possible in them, thus expressing his mockery on the worldwide mania of posting unrealistically perfect photos. Adam has a comedic streak a mile wide, and not only does it come out in concerts and movie roles such as his part of Eddie in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but also in his Instagram page as well. Unlike Ricky, Adam just wants to laugh at himself. Yes, he sometimes looks ridiculous and weird - don’t we all? He’s no bullshitter, and never will be. 

Now would be a great moment to mention his Grandma June alter ego. So, Adam has decided it would be great to make himself look forty years older, name the character Grandma June and rant throughout several videos on many a current topic. Who? What? Adam, the most eligible gay bachelor of several times? Adam, the Zeus in a thong sex symbol for many? Unbelievable. Waves of discomfort could be felt throughout the shallower waters of the fandom. Was he just having fun with it? Was he mocking himself for overusing de-aging filters? Was he helping himself get over his own fear of aging by laughing at his own expense? Was it some kind of reverse psychology/psychotherapy via Snapchat filters? Was it to shock his fans who come to his page for hotness and beauty galore, only to find Grandma June blinking owlishly at them? The list is endless. It’s like he was saying, ‘yeah, I’m hot, but I’m also ridiculous, funny and a little bit on the crazy side.’ Who knows. It’s certainly less ridiculous than me putting words in his mouth. It is also very non-Hollywood of Adam, where ageism is rampant and the anti-aging industry flourishes, where kids start injecting botox as soon as they’re twenty and where a lot of people take faces they’re born with as a slight suggestion. Interesting topic.

We’re now traipsing deeper and deeper into Adam’s more hidden depths. This makes it sound like scrolling through his Instagram page is a voyage into the heart of darkness, the Apocalypse Now style; but it does feel adventurous after you parse through the regular job-related stuff. Such aside interests tell us a lot about him and his fascinations, like his love and respect for other artists. He is a true fan at heart, expressing himself unabashedly and passionately – so many pictures of Freddie, Bowie and George Michael, but also Goldfrapp, Demi, Lady Gaga, and all his musician friends. Sometimes, he puts the flailers in his own fandom to shame. I like that about him. I feel like it’s a level we can relate on. And I love that he doesn’t have cheap, tit-for-tat, I’ll-do-you-and-you-do-me mentality. When he says that he likes something, you better fucking believe that he does.

He also loves nature. He posts sceneries – the beloved Runyon Canyon, the Ibiza cruise, Mexico, Bali, Mykonos in Greece, Argentina, you name it - but, he will also post a photo of a single olive tree. The fandom speculated for three days about what it could possibly mean. He posted a video of a single butterfly flapping its wings, and a colony of bats, and a lonely gecko crawling up the wall and a mother duck and her ducklings swimming in the lake. Endless photos of Pharaoh don’t even count. Details from around him capture his attention in a way that he expresses his emotive, intuitive side by showing us the impact they have on him. In his private moments, he is a far cry from a wild rocker living his wild rock’n’roll life. He’s so much more than that. He’s a tree watcher. A butterfly watcher. A bird watcher. Life and observing life clearly excites him.

He also loves architecture. He will post pictures of streets and buildings, sculptures and monuments, from everywhere he goes, and he travels a lot. Someone else would probably spend all pre- and post-concert time in hibernation accumulating energy, but not Adam. He loves the bas-reliefs, ancient facades, the Greco-Roman culture, supporting columns and carvings of Venetian houses; but every now and then he will also post some strange things, like tombstones. He’s a traveler with a twist. When he goes somewhere new, he sometimes visits cemeteries.  He’s been to Boston Cemetery and Buenos Aires Cemetery. He posted a photo of the entrance to Jesus’ tomb from his visit to Jerusalem. No matter what B Hollywood horror movies are trying to tell us, cemeteries are never about being creepy or frightful -- they are like a library for the imagination. Wandering cemeteries around the globe, reading headstones, thinking about the lives of the people there, the mind wanders into a thousand stories. It can be therapeutic. But, who knows what Adam’s motives were. All I know is that he is more than just a traveler – he is also a spiritual explorer.

In everything he does, he rarely stays within the lines. This diversity tells us that Adam is a complex man before he is an artist, and even less than he is an artist, that he is a promoting artist. His self-promoting campaigns are there, but ever so subtle and discrete - nothing like the aggressive campaigning that has become obligatory nowadays. I’m not talking about the management or the label part in it, or whoever is in charge of his promotion; just Adam’s own role in it. A few tweets, a few Instagram posts, mostly just informative in nature, before a new release. Regarding concerts, a tweet before and after is a rarity. An occasional review. He will sometimes post great photos after concerts, though. I have no idea how to explain such behavior other than to say that he doesn’t want to do it, nor does he feel like he has to. Maybe he is of the ‘an artist should never reveal too much and keep a level of mystery’ persuasion. Maybe he believes the music will find its way to those who want to hear it. Or maybe he just finds it tacky, as I do, the ad nauseam self-promoting of certain artists. Who knows. I certainly wouldn’t find it tacky if Adam did it. We’ll see how Era 4 will roll out and if Adam will be more talkative then. The one explanation I personally find the most believable is that he is a well-mannered man who believes that you should let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips; but that’s because I tend to attribute Adam superhuman qualities. He can’t be that much of a gentleman, can he?

He is not very verbose in his Instagram captions either; most of them, that is. His posts are usually with very little or no comment from him. He tags the people in the photo, or he gives credit to the photographer – he is pretty diligent about it. On few unfortunate occasions when that didn’t happen, we had a mutiny among the photographers which ended with bruised egos on both sides.

So sparse are his comments, that when you do bump onto a few loquacious ones, you just know that it must be something of utter importance or that he feels strongly about. You don’t have to guess anything then, or draw unfortunate conclusions, which is a game his fans like to play and that Adam likes to engage us in by dropping random hints. No game here – his words are loud and crystal clear, concise and to the point, and apart from bringing my attention to the relevance of such particular posts, they serve to remind me what a great thinker and an amazing human being Adam is. Those words are always about love and equality.   

One of such glimpses into his more private, passionate side is certainly his love and appreciation for  Creative Sharka, a fan who makes digital paintings and chibi art of Adam and the moments in his career. He has posted her art several times and even met with her during his tour - such gratitude and appreciation of a fan really warms my heart. It tells me what I already knew: that he is such a fan himself, a great lover of everything that inspires him and open in his heart for the reciprocal love exchange between artists as the highest form of flattery. He’s had such situation in his career several times, on various levels, but this one with a fan feels truly rewarding.

Creative Sharka gives him her art, but it doesn’t have to be a tangible thing. One of the most revealing and emotional comments he wrote under a photo from one of his performances reveals so much. It is a photo whose focal point are the backs of two people, two guys, who are leaning against one another in a hug, their heads connected, and they are facing Adam singing on the stage in the background. They are in the forefront, their body language speaking of love; Adam is in the background, perhaps inspiring such connection. His comment says, “Really in luv w this photo. So sweet.”  I’ve never read Adam saying that about any picture, and it’s one of the amateur, fan ones, too – and all the more precious for that.  

But, does he always feel the love? Do we? Most of the times, I am sure that he does. But I have always imagined Adam as a highly emotional guy, which also means a great capacity for sadness, too, especially with so many reasons for it surrounding us. There is one, literally one sad comment that I have encountered during all these years. It’s under a photo of Frank the Robot’s head, taken before the show, with the top half of it waiting patiently to be connected with its bottom half by diligent Queen crew, so that Adam can ride it and spew obscenities into the audience from its shiny, metallic head. “Sad Clown,” is Adam’s caption. I don’t know if he felt bad for Frank at that moment, or the words are about Killer Queen, but there is a possibility  that the words are about Frank’s rider later on. Sometimes, he does have to hide his sadness and paint his smile on. Who doesn’t.

He truly belongs to one of the rarest of species – a beautiful man who becomes even more beautiful when he opens his mouth and speaks. Or sings. In the pre-Trump, pre-Brexit, pre-Vučić era, I used to take his words for granted. I believed everybody thought so, or almost everybody. I was spectacularly wrong. The bout of sadness that gripped me then is still not easing up. How can it? This Weltschmerz has affected everyone with a soul - Adam, too. Will our physical reality ever satisfy the demands of our minds and souls ever again? I believe so, as long as there are people like Adam, like Emma Gonzalez, like many others who are fighting for it. That is what hope sounds like. With rising urgency, Adam speaks up.

“Black lives matter. For all of u who totally miss the point of this movement, the GOAL is for all lives to matter equally. But as it stands, racism is preventing us from that ideal. We must fix the reality so we can grow toward hope.”

We must fix the reality… We really do, Adam. Faced with such thoughts, don’t all previous words about promotion and lack of internet presence sound frivolous? I am glad that this is how Adam feels. I am so proud of him for sharing his thoughts. 

When he posted a photo of Freddie, pointing out the hypocrisy of the ruling US political party using Freddie Mercury’s music, some people seemed to have an issue with that. This was Adam’s reply:

“I realize that there are many different schools of thought frequented by people following me on social media. EVERYONE is entitled to their opinions and beliefs. Including me. This is MY Instagram page where I share my experiences and feelings. If you don't agree with something, that's perfectly ok with me - but I'm not going to refrain from being me, and no one is forcing you to either.”

And refrained he has not. 

He’s spoken against the gun violence. 

He’s spoken about Orlando. About Paris. About all mass shootings. 

He’s also spoken at the Los Angeles Pride Resist March last year. Here are some of his words:

“I typically avoid publicly speaking about politics because of its divisiveness. People get real sensitive, and I ain’t trying to piss anybody off. But, this year things have gone way too far.

So I’m not speaking today about being a democrat vs. a republican. Today is about right vs. wrong. The current presidential administration has manipulated the country using fear and hate to gain power to divide us. Our differences are being used against us. And the shockwaves of this dangerous rhetoric have rippled throughout our community and beyond. And it fucking hurts. We’ve come way too far to stand by and watch our social progress be yanked backwards. It’s almost as if they’re going, ‘Eh, you’re different. You can’t sit with us.’ What the fuck is that? It’s childish and it needs to end now.

Our pride parade is usually an all out shit show of a party where we all dress up like crazy unicorns and prance around through the streets. Yeah! It’s a celebration of the progress we have made – our liberation, our freedom, our glitter. But this year, we are facing such dark forces that pride has taken on a deeper purpose. Protest. So today, we stand together in order to support anyone whose human rights are at risk. We resist homophobia. We resist transphobia. We resist misogyny. Bi-invisibility. We resist racism. Xenophobia. And we resist extremism, and anything else that helps promote hate. We stand defiant and will not be brainwashed. We refuse to be sucked into that kind of negativity.

But, I ask you not to fight hate with hate. We don’t want to be hypocrites. So how can we resist? I’ll tell you what I think:  with unity, with visibility, truth, inclusion, acceptance, and most importantly – love.”

Don’t his words boom loud? Read them and abide by them. Don’t scroll through or ignore them. 

Shame on those who think that Adam should only do his job and stop voicing his opinions and views. 

Shame on those who, blinded by his beauty, refer to him as a Ken doll. 

Shame on those who say that he is back in the closet. 

In his Love Letter to the LGBTQ community, which was published in Billboard magazine last year, he talks more about what his community means to him:

“Y'all are my true inspiration. You're life lines that have kept me grounded and thankful. All the LGBTQ musicians, dancers, drag queens, bar stars, club kids, DJ's, designers, actors, stylists, glam squads..... YOU are my circus family. It is because of all those years traipsing round our nocturnal playgrounds that I had any sense of how and why I wanted to stay the course; to rep for my queer family!

And now 8 years later, the LGBTQ community has come SO far. I see fellow artists AND civilians coming out with no apologies and no fucks given. Despite the current obstacles we face, I am blown away by our progress. We have come so far. My true fans share the same principles so we continue to welcome other alien weirdos into our family. Thank you ALL for inspiring and supporting my journey. I promise to keep doing the same for all of you.”

Should he speak more frequently? Adam has voiced his opinions time and again, but he won’t misuse the opportunity given to him. He has a sophisticated sense for not crossing the line between his art and his humanitarian fight. He  never pushes anything under anyone’s nose; not his art; not his fight. He never uses just causes as a self-promoting opportunity. 

This is all part of the reply to the question from the beginning about what the lack of social presence can mean. His social presence isn’t lacking, it is just of the unobtrusive kind. It’s all out there, only a few clicks away. Are we so used to the constant media shoveling content down our metaphorical throats that we can’t even register when something’s said only once?

Apparently, I am. Because I have already read Adam Lambert’s own explanation about deciding to moderate his social media presence and it hasn’t even made a blip on my radar at the time. I won’t tell you where his words are from, you can try to guess. It’s a direct quote. It says everything.  

How pathetic now seems the discussion about  flattering vs. less flattering photos? Don’t ask this man about the size of his gauges for a hundredth time and expect him to engage with his fans more. But Adam does, he does engage, for he isn’t a mean man and he answers the same trivial questions again and again. It’s perhaps a much better option than talking, I don’t know, about Weltschmerz. Sometimes, such discussions are better avoided, and not only that - he has already said what he wanted to say. It’s much more bearable to repeat the silly topics than the raw, emotional ones. The repetition hurts, and devalues the latter.  

It really is a journey, from Grandma June, to cultivating self-love and True Individuality; only not to the heart of darkness, but to the one of lightness. It’s all him, the philosopher and the comedian, the Frank’s head rider and the march speaker. Read his words. Don’t forget them, like I did. Laugh with him, but also think with him and be sad with him.

“True Individuality seems daunting in our age of social media popularity contests. Sometimes it’s terrifying to face your true, whole self, stripped of any pretense. The good, the bad, the cracks, and the scars. I am no stranger to the feeling of not liking myself. Once I get past my own body image issues, I realize that I sometimes also neglect my own spirit. Living in a world filled with so much hatred sometimes makes cultivating self-love a very difficult task. I have always struggled with this as I’m sure many of you have. My path is a kind of paradox in that I get to share my craft with the world, but also be willing to throw myself to the wolves. To dare to be different, but still wanting to be accepted. There is vast beauty to be found in life’s contradictions. This non-binary reality allows us to lead happy, expressive lives, and yet this very freedom comes with great risks. I’m not alone in this limbo. Through my art, I pledge to bring empathy and courage to anyone who has been made to feel unworthy or ashamed while daring to be themselves.”

***

~The sources for everything mentioned in the essay are Adam Lambert’s social media pages. I’ve decided against posting any links because I feel like this one reference is enough.

~No photos either,  since I mention too many of them  and this bloody thing is too long already. Just this one.

[bifrostgiant]

Doctor Strange 382: Analysis, Loki hurts my heart

I summarized Doctor Strange #382 in my last post, so if you haven’t read it and would like to know what happened go ahead and check it out.  Warning Spoilers ahead!

It always amazes me when a writer is able to pack so much story into so little space, a feat Cates has accomplished in this issue.  His Skurge reference was well placed, the machine guns are canon in the comic book universe but fans of Ragnarok will recognize and appreciate the nod.  As I mentioned in the intro of my summary, I have a number of thoughts and feelings on the events that occurred in this comic

The kiss Loki told Zelma there was something special about her he could not place.  In all likelihood, he’s drawn to the power of the “Exile of Singhsoon” within her. Though if we assume there’s more to it than that, can we acknowledge Loki has a type?!

Art by Lee Garbett (Verity Willis, left) and Gabriel Hernandez Walta (Zelma Stanton, right) (Marvel comics)

In Loki: Agent of Asgard, our favorite tricker had an almost love interest by the name of Verity Willis (pictured above next to Zelma).  She was last seen jumping through a magic door with Loki and, as far as I know, her current whereabouts are unknown.

When Loki discovers the spell is bound to Zelma’s soul, will he deem her sacrifice an acceptable loss?  It will depend on why he’s seeking this power, but I do think (and hope) he will have difficulty with his future moral dilemmas.  I suspect he will attempt to extract the spell without harming her, but it would likely be a delicate and risky process.

For now, I will enjoy this cute little fling.  I do not know Zelma very well, but what I have seen I have liked thus far.  Way to go Loki.

Bats’ death

This event broke my heart.  First off, I cannot handle it when the dog dies.  Ever since being scarred by Old Yeller as a child, I have actively avoided tragic canine stories.  How could you kill the loveable dog companion in the second issue of a comic book arc, Cates?!  How could you!

If that wasn’t bad enough, the death was indirectly, and unintentionally, caused by Loki’s magic.  Bats’ death was clearly not Loki’s fault but, despite knowing this, a grieving Strange lashed out in the worst possible way:

Loki: I…Stephen, I didn’t mean to…

Strange: You never mean to do anything, do you Loki?!

This essentially sums up Loki’s struggles as a former villain attempting to rewrite his own tragic story.  No matter how hard he tries, he remains prisoner to the cruel fate thrust upon him as the God of lies.  How can he escape this cycle when there is no one to trust him, no one to believe in him?  

As the title character, this story rightly belongs to Steven Strange, which leaves Loki to assume the role of antagonist.  He seeks a dangerously powerful artifact, an appropriate goal for any bad guy worth his weight, but Loki has also displayed a great deal of self-doubt and regret.  He has so many feelings and insecurities; characteristics that make this complicated, and sensitive, outcast so endearing.  I would not rush to classify him as the true antagonist of this arc just yet, despite the odds stacked against him.

The Sentry

The most shocking reveal of this issue is the reappearance of the Sentry; a human (Robert Reynolds) who gained super powers from consuming a super-soldier serum.  This mighty champion has an alter ego parasite called the Void. The Sentry and the Void are in a constant battle for control.

The Sentry/Void’s penultimate comic appearance is extremely relevant to Loki’s story.  

This is a page from Siege #4 (courtesy of Marvel).  I’m not going to go into the plot of the Siege event, but essentially Loki assisted the bad guys in bringing about a near apocalyptic attack on Asgard.  Horrified by what was transpiring, Loki begged Odin to lend him the power of the Norn stones so he could in turn transfer his strength to the heroes who were fighting the Void.

Art by Olivier Coipel (Marvel Comics).  Take note of the tears in the bottom right panel as he begs his father.  Oh my heart.

Loki’s assistance was enough to give the heroes an edge in the battle, but he was killed by the Void shortly thereafter.  

The Void killed Loki.  At least a different incarnation of Loki (think of him like Doctor Who).

Now let’s return to the Doctor Strange comic.  I doubt Loki will respond particularly well when he finds out who was released upon the world.  Not only is Sentry (and possibly the Void) back in the game, Strange is teaming up with him to stop Loki.  I could say maybe the Sentry is strong enough to keep his evil half at bay, but I’m pretty sure we’re going to be seeing the Void at some point soon.

It seems a drastic move for Strange to seek out the Sentinel so quickly.  I can’t imagine there aren’t other willing heroes who are strong enough to help to him take out Loki.  He also only reached out to Zelma once before giving up.  Come on dude, shoot her an email or something and say you’re SORRY for being an insensitive douche.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to where Cates will be taking us next.  I just hope my heart can survive the torment Loki will inevitably face.

[cannonette]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN [Sakamaki Reiji - Maniac No. 07]

Please note, I do not allow my translations to be taken elsewhere, nor do I wish for them to be used as a base for another Language.

Cannon’s note before you start:

☆ - The right decision

ビボラ / Bibora / Vivora > Snake Clan

ツヴァイク / Tsuvaiku / Zweig

Place: Guest Room

**Runs in slams door open, enters and lays on bed** 

Yui: ... ... uu... ...

Yui: ( ... ... the tears, it won’t stop at all. )

Yui: ( I can’t deny the feeling of wanting to help everyone, and the feeling of wanting to meet Father. )

Yui: ( Just, settling that with the word hypocrisy is... ... too harsh. )

Yui: ( I don’t understand Reiji-san’s feelings, anymore. )

☆ Decision 1:  少し距離を置きたい / Want to leave a little space between

Yui: ( If my heart stays withered like this, I’m sure nothing will go well. )

Yui: ( And, who knows I might think about it differently when I’ve calmed down... ... )

Yui: ( I might, be able to see Reiji-san’s feelings a little. )

Yui: ( ... ... it’s, more haste, less speed, right. )

Decision 2: 何もかも忘れてしまいたい / Want to forget everything 

Yui: ( ... ... it’s no good, no matter how many times I think about it, it’s cruel and I get stuffy. )

Yui: ( I can’t think of something else... ... there might be no other way than to forget about it, after all. )

Yui: ( If I cover my feelings... ... I’m sure, the tears would stop. )

**Clock ticking**

Yui: ( ... ... it’s no good, I can’t sleep. )

Yui: ( What will, happened to be from here. )

Yui: ( Till here it was the path that I had chosen... ... but from this point onward it wouldn’t be so. )

Yui: ( I took that kind of attitude... ... He might not listen to my words, anymore. )

Yui: ... ... I wonder where it went wrong. 

Yui: ( Is it from the moment when I felt happy, just for a little... ... that Father was searching for me? )

Yui: ( ... ... if I could meet him, I want to meet Father and talk to him, was that wrong? )

Yui: ( ... ... no, I’m sure that trying to hide those feelings was the one that was wrong. )

Yui: ( But, labelling it as hypocrisy just because I didn’t say. )

Yui: ( My feelings of wanting to help everyone from the Sakamaki Family is real, and even if I was used as a tool for the deal... ... )

Yui: ( ... ... is it possible that, that’s what went wrong? )

Yui: ( I said I’d stay by his side, yet trying to just easily go to Father was... ... )

Yui: ( As I thought I was the one who was bad. But, Reiji-san as well... ... )

Yui: ( ... ... it’s going around in circles. )

Yui: Let’s sleep... ... for a little.

Place: Pharmaceutical Department

Reiji: ... ... ... ...

**Uses power**

Reiji: ( To a surprising degreee, the power has become stable. )

( The more I keep her away... ... it’s notably visible. )

Reiji: ( As I had thought, are my own feelings, the clues to controlling my power after all. )

Reiji: ( Then... ... it may have been better this way. )

Reiji: ( Even my heart that regrets treating her harshly... ... I should throw it away. )

Reiji: ( That is, as Eden’s Owner... ... as the one who inherited the power’s, fate. )

Reiji: ( Like this if she leaves here, there’s a possibility that peace can fit in well. )

Reiji: ( However, after that... ...? )

Reiji: ( Can I really, throw away the heart that feels for her... ... I do not know. )

Reiji: ... ... ... ...

**Paper flips**

Place: Eden - Hall 

Azusa: ... ... I feel sorry for Eve.

Kou: Eh? What’s wrong all of a sudden? Azusa-kun.

Azusa: Reiji-san, might hand over Eve to the Church.

Ruki: What do you mean. Zweig... ... is it not to the Vivora Clan?

Azusa: Actually... ...

Yuma: Ah-... ... I don’t really get it! 

Vivora and the Church and her Father?

Ruki: Let’s organize the situation. First Zweig the King the Vivora Clan, is syaing to offer Eve as a sign of the Joint System. 

Ruki: If this offer is declined, Vampire Clan and the Vivora Clan may fall into rivalry situation. 

Ruki: Never the less, Sakamaki Reiji said that he cannot offer Even so he will not be accepting the offer.

Kou: And, away from that, someone in the Human World has the Sakamaki Brothers as hostage, right?

Azusa: The sender was... ... Kino.

I wonder if he’s someone from the Church... ...

Kou: Even so, that Kino person is working together with that girl’s Father, who is the Church Forces, and is planning something, right.

Yuma: The offer from the Church as well, same as the Vivora’s is it that guy’s doing.

Ruki: If in case Eve is not handed over, the hostages, the Sakamaki brothers would definitely be executed.

Azusa: How can you, say it so certain like that... ...

Ruki: If Sakamaki Reiji will not take the threat then the value of use for the Sakamaki brothers would be reduced.

Ruki: Should he chop their head off and use it to show it’s power .. ... or kill them for revenge. 

Since he does have resentment from getting his daughter stolen away.

Azusa: That’s why... ... Reiji-san is lost, as to should be hand over Eve or not.

Kou: It’s only natural he’d be lost, lives of his brothers are on the line.

Yuma: But still, didn’t that person and the Church have their hands joined.

Yuma: The Sakamaki guys are, even as a joke, his kids.

Is it alright to meddle with them.

Ruki: Fu, that kind of thing, it just means that they were people who we didn’t know what they were really thinking the back from the first place.

Ruki: It seems after Karlheinz-sama had passed, they were happy that the Under World fell into a state of chaos.

Ruki: And were scheming to clean up the Demons living in the Human World.

Kou: In other words, the Church’s aim is to drive out the Demons from the Human World?

Ruki: Yes. From the beginning the Church probably didn’t think well of the Demons gaining ground in the Human World. 

Ruki: To Humans, the Demons who holds tremendously impossible power would most likely be seen as a monster.

Ruki: Karlheinz-sama’s power reached all over the Under World, not to mention even to the Human World, but now the power of the Demons are scattered. 

Ruki: They most likely are thinking that if they’re going for it, this is the best opportunity.

Using anything that are convenient to them, as much as they want.

Kou: M~mm... ... it’s sort of complicated.

Ruki: ... ... In any case, there is only 1 Eve.

It’s called the 2 final options.

Azusa: No, it’s 3... ... options.

There’s a choice to not hand over Eve to anyone... ... right?

Ruki: That is, up to Sakamaki Reiji.

Because the power of Trump Card called her is enormous.

Kou: A Trump Card huh... ... M-Neko-chan probably wouldn’t know but, she was the bargaining tool for Karlheinz-sama and the Church from the beginning right... ... really, I feel so bad for her.

Kou: But her Father who belonged to the Church Forced then, didn’t he send her off to the Sakamaki House agreeing to the ostensible expectations of Karlheinz-sama?

Ruki: I don’t know how that was. 

Anyways, the important thing right now is that, Seiji wants to get his daughter back.

Azusa: What does... ... Ruki think would be good to do?

Ruki: Well who knows. The one who decides that is Sakamaki Reiji but... ... the Under World should be prioritized over the Human World.

Ruki: Even if the Sakamaki brothers were sacrificed, in current situation we should be taking the joint system with the Vivora Clan.

Yuma: Well, that’s so.

Kou: Yuma-kun, truthfully you don’t really understand the situation, do you? 

Yuma: It’s not like that!

Azusa: ... ... ... ...

Place: Guest Room

Yui: ( ... ... I don’t think, I can sleep for a while. )

Monologue: 

I stare blankly at a single spot not even moving a little, closed inside the room. I feel relieved when I stare at a scene that nothing changes.

Things that are busily changing while I’m dazed.  That is even now for sure, continues to move somewhere in the World.

Drowning and being swept away by every thought, slowly I begin to not understand the truth that is within myself.

Something that’s stable, might not exist at all.

[astridspokemonfic]

Episode 7: Poaching Pursuit!

Narrator: With their first Pokemon gym battle completed, our heroes have decided to explore Mistdrive City! First stop: The Mistdrive Aquarium!

“I’m so excited for this! I haven’t been to an aquarium in forever!” Astrid was practically skipping to the subway escalators. Her Chikorita let out a happy trill as she followed her trainer. Janine and Kaytlyn had stopped by the Pokemon Center after their battle where the other half of their small group had discovered that Mistdrive had an intricate set of subway systems connecting major landmarks.

“Isn’t that where Officer Jenny said they were rehabilitating the Pokemon those poachers took?”  Kaytlyn asked. Janine nodded.

“What’s the difference between catching a Pokemon and poaching them?” Kayla asked. The other trainers stopped and stared at her for a moment. “I mean sometimes Pokemon don’t want to be caught, and some trainers can be just as cruel as poachers.”

The truth of her statement caused the teens to stop and think for a moment.

“Well... poachers don’t catch Pokemon. They steal them. They have no intention of training those Pokemon or even keeping them.” Janine said slowly.

“Yeah, they were probably going to sell off those Pokemon to really bad people or something.” Astrid chimed in.

“What about bad trainers?” Kayla persisted.

“‘There are good and bad trainers as there are good and bad Pokemon. That is the truth. You cannot change their ideals if you are unwilling to accept that’.” Astrid said cryptically. Kaytlyn gave her a narrow look.

“Which play is that from?”

“Black and White: Heroes of Unova. How’d you know?”

“I had a feeling.”

“Well yeah, they’ve got a point. There are some really bad people out there, but they can be changed if you accept your differences and move on.” Astrid continued. Janine mulled over the girl’s quote and found herself silently agreeing.

“You and your plays…” Kaytlyn shook her head.

“No listen! It’s totally awesome; The Hero of Ideals and The Hero of Truth have to battle to prove whose Truth/Ideal is stronger, and they basically put their heart and soul into it because, like, that’s the only way to figure out whose stronger ー If they both put their ideals on the line! And they basically have the fate of the world on their shoulders- Well, the fate of Unova, but still…!” Astrid continued rambling, completely oblivious to her friends who were only half listening to her rant. The only interested audience was her Chikorita,

“Can we go to Tide Street first? There’s a ton of food stalls we could stop by.” Kayla interrupted, changing the subject as she flipped through a brochure.

“Do you only think about food?” Kaytlyn asked incredulously.

“Yes.”

~*~*~*~*~

The subway ride to Tide Street had been surprisingly pleasant. The train cart wasn’t crowded and each of them managed to snag a seat. The only concerning parts had been when there was a sharp turn and the lights would flicker on and off causing Astrid’s Chikorita and Kayla’s Rowlet to panic every so often.

Now, Janine stood at the sidelines as Kayla ordered some sort of pastry from a street vendor. She could still hear Nathan’s words ringing through her head. She was still loathe to admit that her victory had been dependent on Pollo’s evolution. She was dragged out of her thoughts with a sharp kick to her shin.

“Ow! What-” A pastry was shoved in her open mouth.

“You were staring off into space like an idiot.” Astrid replied, munching on her own dessert. Janine took the pastry and bit into it with vindication. Kayla was almost done with hers while Kaytlyn seemed to have barely eaten hers. The bread was slightly sweeter than she had expected, but she enjoyed it.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asked. She shrugged.

“Is it about what Nathan said?” Kaytlyn guessed with a scowl. When Janine’s chewing slowed for a moment she knew her guess she was right. “Janine, you’re a great trainer. He was just being a jerk!”

“It was a double type disadvantage. You did what you could! It doesn’t cheapen your win; you know that right?” Kayla stated, having finished scarfing down her snack. Janine smiled lightly at her friends.

“I know that, it’s just- It felt like I was gonna lose anyway.” They fell into heavy silence.

“Because you were losing.” Kayla said blankly. Her sister whacked her arm. “Ow, Kaytlyn!”

“Too blunt…” Astrid muttered with a sigh.

“She was! You were there, she was ready to forfeit!” She pushed Kaytlyn away before she could get hit again. “Can I finish?! Arceus! She was losing but did she actually lose? No! Cause she trained her Pokemon and encouraged them to the point that one felt that evolution was necessary. That’s all I was gonna say, gosh!”

“She’s right! If anything, Combusken is proof of how good of a trainer you are!” Astrid interjected. “If you let him out now, he’d feel the same.” Chikorita gave a coo of agreement.

Janine could almost feel the Pokeball at her belt shaking with conviction. She gave her friends a reassuring nod.

“You’re right. Saying I didn’t deserve that win is an insult to my Pokemon. They worked hard for this.” She said, resting one hand on Pollo and Arroz’s Pokeballs. Astrid let out a happy yell.

“And an insult to you too, but y’know. One step at a time.” Kaytlyn said, taking another bite of her pastry.

“You’re still not done with that?” Kayla asked.

“Get your own!” She smacked her twin more playfully this time. Astrid handed Kayla what was left of hers, saying that she was too excited to eat. Janine let her thoughts go to the trainer from the gym as her friends interacted. Arceus, that guy was such a jerk!

“Janine come on! I wanna get there before the ticket line gets too long!” Astrid grabbed Janine’s hand and dragged her down the street.

“Aren’t we gonna take the subway?” She yelled, attempting to pry herself out of the coordinator’s grip.

“The subway line is actually more roundabout; it makes some unnecessary stops. It’s faster to walk.” Kaytlyn said, easily keeping pace. Kayla was more unlucky and was dragging behind due to her weak lungs.

“Astrid, we have asthma!” Janine yelled, finally yanking her hand away. Astrid made a whiny sound, but moved at more manageable pace for her friends, though she still ran ahead every few seconds, her Chikorita hanging from her arms like a ragdoll.

“You’re like a hyperactive child!” Kayla yelled. Janine silently agreed, slightly miffed. Said girl shrugged unapologetically.

The aquarium seemed just as large as the gym if not larger. Even at the entrance, Kaytlyn could see that the front building was only a portion of the aquarium as there was a clear fence that stretched far into the horizon.

“I think this place has acres of land for the exhibits.” Astrid mentioned, staring past the fence. When the entrance came into view, they noticed two figures conversing in front. One of them was Officer Jenny, who was taking down notes. The other was a young woman in clear distress who noticed the trainers first.

“I’m sorry, but the Aquarium at maximum capacity for today.” She said tiredly, returning to the officer in front of her.

“An elevator reaches maximum capacity. That’s not a thing for Aquariums.” Astrid muttered under her breath.

The other teens stared at her in clear confusion until Officer Jenny glanced at the teens.

“Hey! You’re the teens that bargained with me for the shiny Magikarp!” She exclaimed. Janine nodded.

“Officer Jenny, what’s going on?” Kaytlyn asked. The woman gave them a tight frown.

“The poachers from yesterday escaped the precinct, and we’re worried that they’ll try to come after the Pokemon in the Rehabilitation Center. This is Miss Bethany. Her father is the owner.”

“Wait, why would they come back?” Kayla interjected, “Wouldn’t they just run away?”

“Yes, normally they would… But we think there was a security breach a few hours ago.”Jenny sighed. “Some of them may still be on the grounds, but the police can’t investigate unless we want to cause everyone to panic.” Bethany explained. She buried her face in her hands, “If father hears about this I’d be in so much trouble!”

“Can’t you just disguise yourselves?” Astrid asked. Jenny shook her head.

“Our police force is too recognizable… Wait you guys are trainers right?” Jenny asked. When they nodded, she continued, “Do you think that maybe you could help us search? You’d look like regular aquarium visitors. “ Her radio rang. “Ah. Excuse me.”

“Bethany, do you have any idea why they would want to steal those Pokemon again?” Janine asked gently. The girl looked at her shoes in thought.

“They tried to steal one of the Slowpoke in the Rehabilitation Center.” Bethany paused. ““A-and they seemed really interested in the Feebas for some reason…”

“Slowpoke?” Kayla made a face, “Who would want a Slowpoke?”

“People cut off Slowpoke tail for soups.” Astrid said, recalling a magazine. “It’s a delicacy in some regions.” Kayla grimaced, looking a little disturbed.

“Oh my Arceus why-”

Jenny returned to the group in a rush. “Some of the poachers were sighted on Tide Street, so I need to head there right now! Could you keep the Aquarium safe for me?”

“Dude, there are four of us we could just split up.” Kayla deadpanned. Her friends shrugged in agreement. Jenny paused.

“Are you sure you can handle it?” Jenny furrowed her brow in concern. Wordlessly, Janine and Kaytlyn shined their Gym Badges in her direction. “I suppose you’ll be fine then…”

“I’ll go with Officer Jenny for backup!” Astrid volunteered, ignoring Kayla’s mutter of ‘Teacher’s Pet’ as she followed Officer Jenny down to the road she had been not an hour earlier.

“I guess I’ll guard the entrance here with Ms. Bethany.” Kaytlyn sighed and took a seat on the floor. “You two will investigate inside then.”

“I think they may be hiding where there are less adult tourists, or we would’ve gotten more complaints.” Bethany said, “Please be careful!”

~*~*~*~*~

“I can see why Astrid likes these Aquariums so much.” Kayla said, staring at a school of Remoraid swimming by. The duo were currently in an underwater tube, allowing them to walk ‘underwater’ and see the fish from all sides.

“You know we’re supposed to be looking for suspicious persons right?” Janine muttered lowly. Kayla shrugged.

“I don’t really see anyone suspicious right now. Mostly just kids with plush toys.” She watched a group of children run past them to the darker areas to look at glowing Tentacool and algae.

“Let’s check out the glow-in-the-dark display.” Janine nudged her friend towards the darker room, when it turned up empty, they ended up outside, in a sitting area surrounded by building with different categories of oceanic wildlife.

“We could try the Mantine petting.” Kayla suggested. “This place is really big, if anything they’re probably hiding in one of those dark corners. We should split up and cover more ground.”

Janine nodded in agreement.

“Text me if you find them. Do your best to not battle them-” She said.

“Don’t worry mom, I’ll be fine.” Kayla said sarcastically, heading towards the children’s area. The trainer looked at the map she had been provided, resolving to go to the research facility. Unlike the other more colorful buildings, this one was stark white on the outside and had a distinct hospital feeling to it. When she entered, many of the scientists ignored her while most of them just barely giving her passing glances. So clearly this part of the aquarium was open to tourists, but was less visited. (She assumed because no one was very interested in seeing sick/injured Pokemon).

She absentmindedly wandered around the halls of the center, making sure to glance around corners for the poachers. Her mind wandered to her Combusken, who was relaxing in his Pokeball. Her first evolved Pokemon! She felt a rush of pride as her Pokemon

She was so caught up that she bumped into someone on her way out, causing him to drop his clipboard.

“Arceus! Sorry, I didn’t notice you.” She knelt down to pick up the clipboard, noticing his long lab coat.

“No, it’s… fine.” he replied. Janine glanced down at the clipboard for a moment before returning it to the taller male in front of her. Before she could look up the man swiped it from her hands and rushed off leaving her to stare at his retreating back.

Something about him seemed… familiar.

‘Familiar enough to be suspicious’ Janine decided, following the scientist down a shadowed corridor.

~*~*~*~*~

“Excuse me, have you seen anyone suspicious around here lately?” When the man shook his head no Astrid sighed. “Thank you for your time!” She gave him a tight-lipped smile and ran off to the next vendor.

Before she could begin her dialogue, she felt a gloved hand at her shoulder.

“Oh! Officer Jenny! Did you find anything?”

“I think so. Some vendors down that way were complaining about so-called mysterious noises from some of the back alleys here.” She pointed to the thin crevices between large brick buildings.

“Has no one actually checked there yet?” Astrid asked raising an eyebrow.

“Hopefully not. The safety of civilians is a top priority. I shouldn’t even be dragging you into this…” the officer muttered. “You don’t even have a Gym Badge like your friends!”

Astrid scowled unabashedly and cut in front of Jenny to get through the alleyways first, muttering the entire time.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a Coordinator! And I’m a good one at that!” She huffed, side stepping in a murky looking puddle. “I won my first Ribbon three days after I started my journey. And it was a Double Battle too.” She continued, muttering darkly to herself while Jenny watched her in concern.

“Uh, are you alright?”

“Nothing!” Astrid said suddenly, her bright smile ever-present. “It widens out over here, so we should be more careful- Yikes, it’s dark.” Officer Jenny gave her one last unsure glance before stepping in front of the girl with a flashlight from her utility belt.

The alleyway that they had slipped through had plenty of sunlight streaming between buildings, but it seemed that the back alley spaces were almost completely dark. Officer Jenny flashed her light around the corners, illuminating scurrying Rattatas and dripping puddles along with various pieces of garbage. So basically, standard alley things.

Astrid followed Jenny cautiously when a tug at her shirt caught her attention. Chikorita tugged at her with her vines over to a chain-link fence and began pointing at it in excitement. The teen felt her way around the fence and found that one side was clipped, bending open just large enough for an adult to walk through.

“Good job, Chikorita! Officer Jenny, I think we found something!” Astrid stage whispered, waving her over. Officer Jenny looked at it for a bit in suspicion before pulling out a Pokeball.

“Growlithe, help me out!” The orange canine popped out with a howl. “Growlithe, can you use Odor Sleuth and tell me if there are any people down there?” The Pokemon went straight to work, sniffing at the gate with practiced ability. Astrid took out her Pokedex and scanned the new Pokemon.

“Growlithe, The Puppy Pokemon. Its superb sense of smell ensures that this Pokemon won’t forget any scent, no matter what. It uses its sense of smell to detect the emotions of others. Extremely loyal, it will fearlessly bark at any opponent to protect its own Trainer from harm.”

The Growlithe barked at Jenny, apparently indicating that there was a familiar scent lingering in the dark abyss.

“So… Is this the part where we investigate?” Astrid asked, hopefully. Officer Jenny gave the Coordinator a onceover before replying.

“No. This is the part where I investigate. You stay out here. You’re still a civilian.” The woman said with finality, crouching down through the fence. Her Growlithe followed her in, leaving Astrid to rub the tips of her shoes into the gravel beneath her.

“Well… This blows.”

~*~*~*~*~

Janine huffed out another breath as she rounded another corner while following the scientist. Was it just her, or was she this guy beginning to move faster and faster? With every turn she caught another glimpse of his face and he looked more and more familiar.

Janine followed him down corridor after corridor, distantly wondering if this scientist had any idea where he was going. Down this hallway, turn left, and- oh. This time he actually went through a door. The trainer followed slowly, stopping in front of the room labelled “Pokemon Rehabilitation”.

Janine glanced around only then noticing that this hallway was nearly devoid of people. Was this a coincidence? Probably not. The teen steeled herself before slowly turning the knob and poking her head in.

The room itself was unintimidating: there were frankly massive fish tanks lining the shelves around the room, each housing some Pokemon. Standing in the middle was the scientist who she was tailing, his back still turned to her. He was completely relaxed, inspecting at a tank of Luvdisc float around in the water.

“You’re following me.” He stated. Janine blinked in confusion. He sounded… really annoyed?

“Is that a statement or a question?” She said before she could stop herself. She spent too much time around sarcastic people nowadays.

“Why?” He said, his voice was now tinted with malice, like he was trying to intimidate her. She snorted, unimpressed.

“Because you’re suspicious. And familiar.” She added after a short pause.

“I’m familiar to you…?” He asked slowly. He sounded monotone, but you could just barely catch a hopeful lilt at the end of his words. Janine favored to ignore this as her annoyance was nearing its peak.

“Yes, you’re familiar.” She repeated, nearly snapping. The scientist turned his head to look at her, consequently shifting his body enough for Janine to finally catch a view of his face. “You- You’re the guy from the forest! You’re with Team SubZero!”

The stranger seemed to suddenly deflate at this as his gaze returned back to the fish tank in front of him. He held his hand up to the glass and let the Luvdisc follow his finger.

“Ah. You’re right, then.” He murmured. “My name is Lucian. I’m the leading scientist of Team Subzero.”

“What’s Team SubZero have to do with poachers?” Janine questioned angrily. The older teen turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you care?” He responded. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just ignore it?” He said cryptically. He stared at her with a critical eye for a moment before looking away from her completely seeming to judge that arguing Janine wasn’t worth his time as he moved to sidestep her. Janine easily slid in front of him forcing him to step back.

“Because it’s the right thing to do.” She answered resolutely. There was a pause. He closed his eyes in contemplation.

“Prove it.” he turned to her, “Battle me.”

“Excuse me?” Janine said, affronted. The other teen scoffed. “Battle me.” He repeated blankly. “Prove you’re right. That’s the only way to settle things in this world.”

Janine furrowed her brows.

“Here?”

“Where else?” He gave her a dark smile. “Prove to me your ideals!”

~*~*~*~*~

Astrid remained silent, waiting next to the gate with her Chikorita.

“Do you think they’re done yet?” The Chikorita let out a low sound. She sighed “I don’t think they’re done either.” Astrid busied herself thinking of new combinations. “You know Officer Jenny’s been in there for a while now…”

Chikorita made a clicking noise and dragged her trainer’s hand down to the ground, away from the fence.

“Aw come on! You know how boring it is just waiting here!” Astrid shrugged her Chikorita off. “It’ll be fun!” She pushed the fence open and crouched through, shifting to pull it open for Chikorita who was clearly hesitant. Chikorita reluctantly stepped through and Astrid scooped her up and walked down the damp alleyway.

“Man this place is gross.” She could practically feel grime sliding down her skin. The alleyway was dark and she could barely see puddles that were dripping with what she hoped was water. “Let’s move faster.” She quickened her pace a bit until she was at an almost jog and was about to turn when she heard Officer Jenny’s voice.

“Growlithe! Use Flamethrower!” Bright light illuminated the darkened alleyway in front of her as Officer Jenny came into view. “Growlithe track them down!”

“What’s going on, Officer Jenny?”

“Didn’t I tell you to wait outside?” She yelled back at the teen. Astrid gave the woman an unimpressed look. “I found their temporary hideout, but they went running off! I need to follow Growlithe before I lose him!”

“I’m coming this time!” Astrid’s voice rang out as she ran off to follow the Puppy Pokemon. She didn’t get very far is Growlithe was pawing at the ground in front of it.

“The manhole…” Jenny pointed at the slightly out of place metal plate.

“Does Mistdrive City have clean sewers?” Astrid’s face had twisted into a grimace. Jenny shrugged.

“Moderately clean.” She responded and dropped herself into the hole, Growlithe following after her. Astrid let out a groan and reluctantly followed.

~*~*~*~*~

“Ideals…?” Janine parroted back. Lucian seemed to be ignoring her as he reached into his lab coat for the first Pokeball. “You want me to prove that my ideals are stronger?”

“That’s what I said isn’t it?” Lucian hissed, growing evermore impatient and annoyed with Janine.

“That’s just… a very... weirdly specific tag-line to challenge me to battle…”Janine mumbled lowly, reaching for Pollo’s Pokeball. “It can’t be helped then. I’ll prove that what you’re doing is wrong!”

Lucian let out a derisive snort and threw out his Pokeball without another word. Janine froze mid-reach, instead pulling out her Pokedex to scan the winged creature.

“Golbat, the Bat Pokemon. Golbat loves to drink the blood of living things. It is particularly active in the pitch black of night. This Pokémon flits around in the night skies, seeking fresh blood.”

Janine gave the Bat a once-over, clearly creeped out by the Pokedex entry. She spotted Lucian turning his face away to hide his oncoming chuckles. The trainer made a last minute switch, hoping that type-effectiveness would help her in the end.

“Arroz! Let’s go!” Janine tossed her Pokeball in the air, releasing the sheep mid-air. The Mareep made a show of crackling the electricity in its fur to intimidate the Golbat. Both Lucian and the Golbat paid it no mind.

“Golbat! Use Confuse Ray!” Golbat’s eyes began to glow a sickly purple as it formed multiple golden orbs around it, throwing them at the Electric-Type.

“Arroz! Use Discharge to block it!” Mareep showed no evidence of being nervous as it shot wild spikes of electricity in the surrounding area, destroying the Confuse Ray and nearly hitting the Golbat, who flapped around in distress. “Great job!”

“Not bad.” Lucian said, seemingly unperturbed by his Pokemon’s panicky demeanor. “Golbat,  Bite.”  He said sharply. The Pokemon seemed dazed for a moment before following the command, swooping down towards Mareep at a high speed.

“Arroz, use Charge!” The Sheep began to shift around, building up static electricity in its’ coat to supercharge its’ next electrical attack. Golbat swooped low, chomping down on Mareep with its fangs. Mareep barely seemed to notice as it continued to gather electricity, glaring at its’ much larger opponent. “Thunder Wave!” Mareep released a weak shockwave of electricity, meaning to paralyze its opponent. Golbat moved away at the last second, very nearly getting caught by Mareep’s status move.

“Hm?” Lucian glanced at the battlefield, “Oh. Swift.” Lucian ordered flippantly. Golbat crossed its wings in an X-Formation sending throwing stars right back into the Mareep’s Thunder Wave, cancelling out the move. The stars continued on and rained down on Mareep who was unable to block.

“Arroz!” Her Pokemon shrugged it off, letting out a shock of electricity to show that she was okay. “Thunder Wave again!”

“Torment.” The Golbat’s eyes began to glow a a faint purple let out a high pitched screech, something Janine found to be indecipherable, but the Sheep Pokemon clearly understood as it began to bleat in annoyance. Arroz herself didn’t continue, finding herself unable to use Thunder Wave for a second time as the effects of the Torment began to kick in.

“What?” Janine went scrambling for her Pokedex to find the effects of the Dark-Type move, only for Lucian to interrupt her.

“When a Pokemon uses Torment, its opponent can’t use the same move twice in a row.” He explained in a condescending tone. Janine looked back at her Arroz who was clearly trying to send out another Thunder Wave to no avail. “You don’t know much about this do you?”

“Oh, shut up!” Janine rolled her eyes. “Arroz, use Take Down!” The Mareep shook its head to clear its focus and took a running start to the Bat Pokemon, making direct contact into its side.

“Bite.” Lucian ordered in an ever-so-calming tone that was really beginning to grate on Janine’s nerves. Golbat twisted itself around and once again clamped its mouth down on Arroz’s wool.

“Alright, now! Use Discharge!” Mareep released its pent up Electricity, shocking Golbat inside out due to its close proximity. The Bat Pokemon flopped to the ground, down for the count. Lucian gave his Golbat a sideways glance before looking away, clearly uninterested. Janine felt herself beginning to get ticked off. He’s the one who challenged her to battle in the first place! The least he could do is pay attention! 

“That bothers you?”

...Did she say that out loud? Janine shot a glance over at the scientist, realizing that she had been muttering just loud enough for him to hear. She cleared her throat.

“Well… you’re the one who basically ordered me to battle you!” She began, “And you’re barely paying attention! It’s like you didn’t even want to battle in the first place!”

“You didn’t want to battle me either.” He pointed out, “Before you talk about hypocrisy, you should first realize that you weren’t exactly excited into battle.”

“Well, I accepted didn’t I?!” Janine yelled back, growing increasingly frustrated. What exactly did he want from her? When Lucian let out a scoff, the trainer felt her patience snap. “If you’re that unimpressed by the battle, it’s because you’re not putting any effort into it! I can’t ‘prove my ideals’ to you if you don’t care!” Janine threw her hands up, placing air quotes on his words. “Unless you put your Ideals on the line too, this battle is meaningless!” She finished. (That line sounded familiar.) Lucian stared at her for a long moment and looked away yet again. Janine opened her mouth to yell at him again, cutting herself off when he let out a line of chuckles that could almost be mistaken as a laugh.

“Ah… It’s been a while…” Lucian’s chuckles stopped abruptly as he recalled his Golbat. Janine followed in suit, calling Arroz back to her ball. “But don’t say I didn’t try to go easy on you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

“It smells like a Garbodor in here!” Astrid whined. The walkways were sanitary, but it didn’t do much to hide the foul stench coming from the water flowing next to her. “I swear I’m going to gut those poachers!” Astrid walked a fair distance behind Officer Jenny, more focused on her surroundings than anything else.

“Chika!” Chikorita wrapped a vine around her trainer’s ankle, pulling her in the opposite direction.

“Huh…?” Astrid glanced down to where Officer Jenny had run off to (She honestly couldn’t tell where anymore. This entire place made her feel like she was in the sewer scene from Ratatouille) “Are you saying that Officer Jenny’s wrong? But she has a Growlithe with her! Y’know. The Pokemon that is literally bred for police because of its amazing sense of smell?”

Chikorita gave her an annoyed look.

“Alright fine! Lead the way!” Astrid threw her hands up in exasperation. “You’re lucky I trust you.” She muttered under her breath as Chikorita dragged her along. Chikorita led her to one of the darker tunnels pointing down into the dingy darkness.

“You’re absolutely sure about this?” Astrid gave her Pokemon one last unsure look. The Chikorita whacked her shin with a vine in response. “Ow! Arceus okay!” The Coordinator hissed and carefully navigated her way down the tunnel. A dim light illuminated the darkness behind one of the turns. Suspicion slowed the teen down, as she stepped lightly, peeking over the corner.

“I’m tired of waiting here!” A gruff voice yelled.

“Will you shut up?!” Another voice yelled back. The teen squinted through the yellow light and found herself recognizing the men who were yelling at each other as two of the poachers from the other day.

Astrid pulled herself back to behind the corner, pushing herself against the concrete wall to remain upright. She hugged Chikorita a little closer to calm herself before tentatively getting her phone out to text her friends.

No service?! Astrid mentally groaned. Of course there was no service! She was underground! The coordinator shoved her phone back in her bag with a little more force than probably necessary.

“Did you hear something?” One of the voices asked behind her. Astrid froze immediately and slowly backed away, inadvertently tripping over her own feet. She landed onto the concrete with a resounding thump. “The cops found us!”

Astrid pushed herself up to find that the poachers had already turned the corner, looking less intimidating than she had first thought. In fact they looked more frightened than angry.

“Nah it’s just some kid. Scram!” The teen rolled her eyes at his dialogue.

“You sound like a mobster from a 40s movie.” She deadpanned, suddenly feeling a burst of confidence. “Besides, you’re the poachers that escaped the precinct aren’t you?”

The poacher she had insulted had the decency to look at least a little offended, backing up when he realized that she wasn’t intimidated in the least. The duo of poachers in front of her decided to switch tactics, each pulling out a Pokeball.

“We don’t have time for this! Koffing go!” The other followed in suit, releasing a Rattata.

“And you think I have time for this?!” The girl yelled incredulously. She let her Chikorita down and reached to her belt to release Vulpix from his ball. “You’re not getting past me!”

~*~*~*~*~

“So you’re going to actually battle me now?” Janine’s voice had a hint of doubt as the scientist opposite to her was still wearing an infuriating smirk. But something had changed. It didn’t feel condescending at all.

“Yes, of course. That’s what you wanted,” Lucian pulled a different Pokeball from his coat. “Isn’t it?” His grin turned almost predatory for a moment before vanishing as if nothing had happened at all. Janine shrugged off the feeling that she was walking into a trap.

“Yes… I want a proper battle.” She said, pulling out Pollo’s Pokeball, “Anything less is insulting.” She said.

“Hm. I wonder if you’ll be saying that after this is over.” Lucian mused. “Then, Elektrik, it’s your turn.” He leisurely tossed the Pokeball up, releasing his Pokemon. A blue and yellow eel-looking Pokemon popped out, floating above the ground with a blank look in its eye. It didn’t even look angry, which for some reason, was far more disconcerting.

Janine followed in suit, throwing out her Combusken with one hand and reaching for her Pokedex with the other.

“Elektrik, The EleFish Pokemon. They coil around foes and shock them with electricity-generating organs that seem simply to be circular patterns. These Pokémon have a big appetite. When they spot their prey, they attack it and paralyze it with electricity. Then it chomps.”

Disturbing PokeDex entries aside, Janine wasted no time in getting Combusken to attack.

“Pollo, use Flame Burst!” The recently evolved Pokemon wasted no time, easily shooting a bright, yellow-orange fireball at the eel. Elektrik didn’t have the speed to dodge the fireball, instead choosing to coil around the incoming attack. The Flame Burst passed through without touching the eel, though it was still hit by the splash damage.

“Elektrik, use Spark!” Lucian commanded. The yellow circles on its side began to light up as it surrounded itself with yellow electricity and charged at the Fire-Type.

“Dodge it!” Janine yelled. Her Pokemon slid to the side to avoid the attack.

“Combusken’s faster than Elektrik, huh.” The scientist nodded to himself. “Elektrik, use Crunch!” The Electric-Type rushed towards Pollo again, this time contracting its mouth menacingly.

“Dodge again!” Combusken jumped up this time, right above the floating Elefish.

“Now, use Bind!” Elektrik slithered up to the Fire-Type and wrapped itself around it, and squeezed. The Bind did double, managing to keep Combusken in place and hurting him enough to cause some damage. Janine winced in sympathy as Combusken struggled in the other Pokemon’s hold.

“Use Peck, Pollo!” Pollo’s beak glowed a bit as it slammed down onto the Elektrik’s smooth skin. While the move itself didn’t do much damage, it shocked the Elektrik long enough for Pollo to wiggle free from its’ hold.

“Clever.” Lucian commented with a smile of something akin to being impressed. “You saw right through that strategy in seconds.”

Janine furrowed her brow in confusion. The strategy wasn’t necessarily complicated… She wanted to say. But something about his ‘compliment’ made her skin crawl. It felt underhanded.

“You’re planning something.” Janine stated bluntly. She was not going to play this psychological game right now.

“Ah! You’re right again.” Lucian shrugged, chuckling again. “Then… Let’s try this! Elektrik, Use Spark again!” The eel charged again, forcing Pollo to slide away again, to avoid the attack. “Spark!” The scientist commanded for a third time.

“Dodge again, Pollo!” Janine watched Lucian’s face, trying to figure out what he was doing. He continued to have Elektrik use spark and Combusken continued to dodge. After a while, Lucian commanded his Elektrik to stop leaving both Pokemon panting. “What exactly was your plan there?! Both of our Pokemon are exhausted.” After a pause he responded.

“Did you know that 94% of the time, your Combusken slides to the left instinctually to dodge?” Lucian asked. “Interesting data.”

Janine felt her stomach drop. “Wait a minute-”

“Elektrik, use Double Team!” Almost instantly, copies of the Elektrik began to pop up around the room, confusing both Janine and Combusken over which was the real one. “Now, use Spark again!” All of the Elektrik lit up the bright yellow and charged at Combusken, forcing it to slide to the left just as Lucian had predicted.

“Pollo, move!” Combusken shifted to the side a little too late, as another Elektrik shot out, clearly hitting Combusken’s arm. Another Elektrik lit up in front of Combusken. “Attack it head on! Use Ember!” Pollo shot small flames at the eel, only to find that it was a copy when it faded out of existence. Another Elektrik shot out and hit Combusken’s back dead on. “Pollo!” Janine yelled out in concern as her Pokemon cried out.

“I did warn you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Koffing, use Clear Smog!” The (taller) poacher yelled.

“Rattata! Bite!” The other commanded. Astrid raised an eyebrow at their last ditch efforts to turn the tide of the battle.

“Chikorita, use Razor Leaf! Vulpix! Use Extrasensory!” Chikorita shot leaves at both Pokemon, hitting Rattata and knocking it out. The move didn’t do much to the Koffing, but Vulpix’s Extrasensory was super effective, hitting the Koffing and subsequently launching it into it’s trainer.

“You done yet?”Astrid already had an escape rope in her hand as both her Pokemon glared down at the fallen poachers. They both nodded in disappointment and allowed themselves to be apprehended. “Now, are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

“Well-”

“Shut up!” The other hissed. Astrid groaned.

“You’re going to make this hard for me aren’t you? Just tell me so I don’t kick you lamers into the sewage water!” She yelled, no longer caring if her voice bounced around the walls. The taller poacher seemed reluctant to say anything, but the other whose accent she had insulted earlier seemed to be easily cracking.

“Look, we had orders!”

“Dude!” The other cried out, in an offended tone,

“I can’t swim! Do you want me to die?!”

“Who had orders?” Astrid interrupted them impatiently. When they remained silent for more than a few seconds she began to slowly slide them closer to the murky sewage water with a bored look. “I’m not above just kicking you in and then pulling you back out.”

“That’s like waterboarding! Torture is illegal!”

“So is Pokemon poaching.” The teen shot back. Well that shut them up. She thought.

“Team SubZero.” One of them blurted out. Astrid narrowed her eyes.

“SubZero?”

“They’re these freaks in parkas! They hired us to poach Pokemon-” The other began to blubber, spilling everything despite his friends vehement protests.

“Wait, wait, wait! What was that about the Aquarium?” Astrid stopped his confession midway through. The thug slowed his sniffling for a minute.

“They have an inside-man working in the aquarium? Yeah, he was going to help the others sneak the Pokemon out in a truck or somethin’. Was gonna make it look like they were being sent somewhere else…” He continued talking absentmindedly, while the others head hung low in shame.

“Watch them.” Astrid ordered her Vulpix and Chikorita as she ran off to the closest manhole and held her phone up to it, hoping to catch a signal. “Arceus, this place is worse than the music room at school... There!”

The teen began to frantically shoot texts to her friends, growing more and more frustrated when they wouldn’t go through. She eventually resorted to phone calls, desperately trying to connect to any one of their phones.

Eventually one of them picked up.

“Kayla! Thank Arceus! Sh! Just shut up and listen to me!”

~*~*~*~*~

Pollo can’t handle much more... Janine thought, watching her starter get thrown around by Elektrik. The Combusken would get hit and then stumble straight into another Spark and the cycle had been going on for the past few seconds, Pollo, looking worse for wear with every hit. I need to think!

Janine tried to study Elektrik’s movements as Lucian had before. Elektrik only moves in a linear path… It can coil itself, but it can’t really turn it’s body to attack… How do I use that? Janine paused. Lucian fights like he thinks. Meaning…

“Pollo! Use Double Kick!” The Pokemon forced itself up against the incoming Elektrik, kicking the copy as it faded away.

“Elektrik wait!” But the Pokemon was already heading straight towards Combusken who kicked a second time, throwing the Elektrik away.

...the only way to get through is to be direct!

“Pollo! Get rid of those doubles with Flame Burst!” Combusken gave a powerful kick with its legs, jumping up high into the air and throwing a fire ball down to the ground beneath it. The fire didn’t particularly hit any of the copies, but the splash damage was enough to make them fade away, leaving the original alone.

“You…” Lucian didn’t even seem angry, and seemed more stunned if anything else. He quickly snapped out of whatever trance he had fallen into. “Elektrik, use Bind!”

“Ember!” The Fire Type opened its mouth, and let out an onslaught of flame on the incoming Elektrik. The Elefish paid no mind and continued on its path to entangle the other Pokemon for a second time. “Use Double Kick on the ground!” Combusken followed, inadvertently jumping high into the air before Elektrik could reach it.

“Use Double Team!” The Elektrik began to immediately multiply again.

“Flame Burst!” Pollo shot the Flame Burst down to the ground before he landed, getting rid of the doubles before it could get caught in another situation as it had before. Surprisingly, the hit landed on the Elektrik below as it was thrown back by the force of the fire.

“Elektrik!” The Pokemon weakly forced itself up, lighting up a bit to show its trainer that it was okay.  Lucian glanced up at the weak Combusken, deciding that it wouldn’t be able to dodge another time. “Use Spark!”

“Counter with Double Kick!” The Elektrik began to surround itself with electric energy again, lighting up in a bright yellow while Pollo stood unmoving for a moment. Both Pokemon rushed each other, colliding in an explosion of electricity, kicking up enough dust to block them from view.

“Pollo!”

“Elektrik!”

~*~*~*~*~

Kayla panted heavily. Running was a bad choice. Astrid had quickly explained that there was a truck coming to pick up Pokemon disguised as a delivery truck.

“-Likely somewhere near the docking area in-” Was all she heard before the call was dropped. Wherever she was, there was no doubt that the Coordinator had probably thrown a tantrum over her bad cell service. Kayla had released Rowlet a while ago, telling him to fly up and try to find the docking area Astrid had talked about.

She jogged back to the courtyard outside, checking the map for a docking area, but found that the information wasn’t available to visitors. She let out a sound of frustration and was about ready to slap the next person who looked at her like she was insane. Just as she was heading to the Research building, the door slammed open revealing a familiar face.

“Janine! Astrid called-” She gasped for a moment. “Docking area- The poachers-”

“It’s fine. Are you okay? Where’s your inhaler?!” Janine dug through Kayla’s pockets and handed the inhaler to the girl, patting her back in concern. Kayla shook her head, shoving the inhaler back into her hoodie.

“I know where the poachers are. Follow me.” Janine said, taking the other girls arm to lead her away.

Kayla made a confused sound, but saved her breath as she followed Janine to the Coastal exhibit building. The other teen completely ignored the obvious entrance and moved to the side of the building. She easily pushed on the side gate, allowing it to swing open easily.

“All the aquarium buildings have separate docking stations.” Janine explained, “It would take forever to search them all. You would never be able to tell unless someone told you.”

“So…” Kayla regulated her breathing a bit “Astrid’s call got through?” She looked up at a cooing sound and found that Rowlet had returned. Kayla gestured for him to remain silent before she looked up at Janine’s confused look.

“What? I never got a call from Astrid.” Kayla opened her mouth to reply when they were suddenly joined by a third voice.

“Where is he? We need his access card to get into the Aquarium!”

Janine mouthed ‘Poacher’ to Kayla before pushing her towards the exit.

“We need to get Officer Jenny!” Kayla whisper-yelled.

“There’s no time! You get Officer Jenny or Kaytlyn. I’ll stay here and keep them from doing anything.” Janine made a shooing motion.

“You have a death wish!” The teen whispered back in annoyance.

“I’ll be fine!” Janine reasoned.

“Even with Combusken, you can’t just stay here alone!”

“Uh, about that… I can’t use Combusken right now.” The Trainer admitted.

“What?!” Kayla yelled, completely forgetting that their situation.

“Hey! Who’s over here?!” The voice from earlier called out. “What are you teens doing here?! Raticate, go!”

“What?! Patrat!” A fourth voice responded followed by the familiar pop of a Pokeball.

“Later.” Janine promised her. “Mareep, I choose you!” The trainer sprang into battle with well-practiced vigor.

“Rowlet, you too!” Kayla yelled, practically flinging her bird onto the battlefield. Janine looked at her friend like she was insane. “Two on one isn’t fair!”

~*~*~*~*~

“Janine you’re okay!” Astrid squeezed her friend upon seeing her at the entrance of the Aquarium. “You weren’t answering any of my calls or texts! Even after I got out of the sewer you weren’t replying!”

“What were you doing in the sewer?” Kaytlyn gave the girl an incredulous look.

“...Waterboarding poachers.”

“What?!”

“And Officer Jenny was chasing after the wrong Raticate and- Ugh don’t get me started.” Astrid shuddered. “What happened?”

Janine shrugged. “We took down these poachers and then Officers showed up to take them away.”

“I called them.” Kaytlyn admitted. “One of your texts got through to send cops to the Coastal docking area.”

“Wasn’t the whole point of this stealth mission to make sure people wouldn’t panic?” Kayla asked, a smile playing on her face.

“They played it off as something with the fish tanks I think.” Janine said, furrowing her brow. Kayla nudged her.

“You still need to explain how you knew what was going on.” She gave the other trainer a level look.

“Yeah, none of my texts or calls went through for you.” Astrid waved her phone in Janine’s face.

“And why was Combusken already injured?” Kayla added.

“Well…”

~*~*~*~*~

“Pollo!”

“Elektrik!”

When the smoke cleared, both Combusken and Elektrik were lying in heaps on the floor. Combusken had swirls in his eyes while Elektrik was twitching weakly on the floor. There was no need for either of them to state the obvious. Combusken was down, and Elektrik, though clearly hurt, was the last Pokemon standing.

Janine sighed in disappointment, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to pull answers out of Lucian now. She resigned and ran over to her fallen Pokemon.

“You did fantastic, Pollo.” Janine gave the Pokemon a reassuring smile, digging through her bag to give him an Oran Berry. Pollo weakly reached for the berry and forced itself to eat. “Rest for now.”

She approached the still blank-faced Lucian and offered him a Super Potion for his Pokemon. Before she could say anything however, he fell to his knees.

“Woah! Are you-”

“You won.”

“Wait what?” Janine looked at the man more critically. She wasn’t 100% sure he was right in the head in the first place. This entire thing was only confirming her suspicions.

“You won.” He sat back letting himself lean on the Luvdisc tank behind him.

“No I didn’t?” Janine pointed out, “You’re Pokemon, though clearly unable to do much right now, is still conscious. Mine fainted. That usually means I lose.”

“You won.” He stated again, giving her a soft smile, free of malicious intent or cockiness. He looked better when he was relaxed. “My ideals… were weaker than yours.”

“Our ideals…? You mean-!”

“You proved your ideals were stronger. I lost.” He said, pushing himself up to look at the oblivious heart shaped Pokemon swimming in the tank. He looked up at her suddenly and began to inspect her as he had before he asked her to battle. It was different this time though. He seemed more curious than judgemental. He wasn’t being annoyingly cryptic. He actually looked…almost sincere. He pushed himself up and took the Super Potion she offered him.

Before Janine could retract her hand, Lucian’s arm shot out and he gently gripped her wrist to keep her from moving away. Gingerly, he turned her hand over and placed a small, yellow, diamond-shaped item in the middle of her palm.

“A Revive?” Janine stared at it for a moment. The older teen moved back and recalled his Elektrik and stared at its’ Pokeball for a few moments before turning back to her.

“The poachers are hiding behind in the Coastal aquarium at the docking station. Don’t go to the other aquariums; it would be a complete waste of time. The side-gate should be unlocked.” He said, turning away from her, letting his lab coat flare behind him in a sweeping motion.

“What-”

“There’s only two of them there, the others are hiding in the sewers, though at this point they’ve probably already been spotted. You should hurry before they leave.“ Lucian calmly walked away, his facade back in place.

“Wait- How do you know this?!” Janine followed after him a bit. He stopped abruptly and turned to her with a bitter smile.

“Who do you think let them in?” He asked sardonically. “Go.” He turned away for the last time and was out the door before Janine could ask another question.

~*~*~*~*~

“Wait so he just let you go like that?” Astrid asked, wrinkling her nose up, “That’s…weird… And cryptic.” The coordinator was sitting on a bench next to Kayla while Janine and Kaytlyn stood.

“He’s the one who let them in?!” Kaytlyn hissed. “Are we just going to ignore this crucial fact?”

“Yes,” Kayla replied, “because what’s more confusing and concerning is that he ratted them out.”

“Maybe he did it to bail himself out?” Kaytlyn suggested.

“He said it was because my ideals were stronger than his. I don’t understand, I lost.” Janine explained.

“Well, Battles of Ideals are about proving whose ideals will prevail in the end. You proved something to him I guess.” Astrid suggested.

“Yeah, but then wouldn’t you prove that by winning the battle?” Janine pointed out. Astrid shook her head.

“I’d just like to preface that this evidence comes from a play.” The Coordinator began, “But the reason the Hero of Truth and the Hero of Ideals clashed multiple times because the Hero of Ideals had doubts in his own beliefs. No matter how many times he lost, he would go to the Hero of Truth again and again and they’d battle so he could figure it all out-”

“I’m not particularly interested in some guy’s moral dilemma.” Kaytlyn interjected, “I want to know what Team SubZero wanted with all those Pokemon.”

“That’s another mystery that has yet to be solved.” Kayla muttered. “Let’s go to the Pokemon Center, we need to rest for now.” She said, leading her frustrated sister away. Astrid got up to follow the twins when Janine stopped her.

“Astrid, about the Heroes…”

“Hm?”

“The Hero of Ideals wanted to figure what out, exactly?” Janine asked. Astrid thought for a moment.

“He wanted to prove that what he was doing was right. It wasn’t. The Hero of Truth had to prove it to him again and again.” Astrid said, with a fond smile on her face, “That’s what I was saying, he didn’t win every battle against the Hero of Ideals. But each time he managed to get the other Hero to realize the truth, at least a little bit.”

“You think I showed him the truth?” Janine gave astrid a dubious look. Astrid laughed a bit.

“I think you showed him whatever it was he was looking for. Truth... or maybe something else entirely.” She shrugged. Janine nodded and walked alongside her on the way to the Pokemon Center. It wasn’t until they were halfway there that Janine remembered something.

“Wait, isn’t that play considered a tragedy?” She stopped, “What happened?” Astrid looked at her for a long moment before glancing away.

“It was some meta thing. It was meant to teach the audience that no one escapes judgement.” 

“...What happened?”

“The Hero of Ideals died.”