#feel free to ignore if you've done it already :D

[hopeinthebox]

tagged by the lovely natalia <33 @jiminsproof a bit ago to reveal some "lasts" so, without further ado:

last song: american teenager, ethel cain - song of the year for the second year running, i fear. preacher's daughter you will always be famous

last movie: freaky friday - jamie lee curtis AND lindsay lohan milf performances???? five stars. put pink slip's take me away on spotify immediately

currently watching: house m.d. - binged my way through six seasons already and i'm showing no signs of slowing down. at this point i'm one more character playlist curation away from being institutionalised

currently reading: coded messages that kim taehyung leaves for me in his promotions and mvs. oh and high fidelity

current obsession: jungle's music videos. back on 74 was obviously the catalyst here but they're all phenomenal. additionally i have a pretty serious below deck problem

and there you have it. tagging a handful of favs if you feel so inclined: @cordiallyfuturedwight @aprylynn @pauls-mccharmly @somebodydoeslove @banghwa @monismochi @eoieopda @btscontentenjoyer @letmelovekoo @spicyclematis

[an-asuryampasya]

choose an artist you like and use the name of their songs to answer this as close to the truth as possible!

tagged by: @wizardofgoodfortune thank you for the tag! this was very fun :D

name of the artist: Decided to go with whatever Spotify has of Hadley Fraser singing so I can make a particular silly joke below :P

what is your gender? Take Things into Our Own Hands

describe yourself: Masquerade

how do you feel? But for me

if you could go anywhere, where would it be? Beyond the Door (my url literally means "she who never sees the sun" lmao)

describe your best friend: Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh :P (Technically Raoul [the character] is barely in this scene but he's still there yelling towards the end so I've decided it counts as a song sung by him)

your favorite time of day: On Constellation Street

if your life was a tv show, what would it be called? Just Let Go (it's an ironic title)

what is life to you? Heading West

what do you fear? This Time

tagging @permanentlyspacedout, @averythepirate, @rosettarants, @shewantsitall , @themirokai, and @timetravelingkayak! Zero pressure though :) And anyone else who feels like it, consider yourself tagged!

(I'm never sure who is alright with being tagged, welp.)

[superprofesh]

The Five Times Colt Seavers Almost Kisses You (and the One Time He Does) — Part 5

Pairing: Colt Seavers x reader

Description: The fifth time Colt Seavers almost kisses you — when you finally decide you've waited long enough to tell him what he means to you.

Rating: T

Word Count: 5.5k

Tag List: @strangedeerconnoisseur, @icantwaittoliveandlearn, @moonlightandstarshimmer, @chemococktailonthehouse, @1word (sending directly to the rest because Tumblr isn't cooperating)

Author’s Note: Things are heating up!!! As you can tell, this chapter is a bit longer, and I can promise you, it's got a lot of good stuff in it :D By far my favorite chapter to write so far. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I have, and I appreciate all your kind words and support so much!!

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A week after you’ve made an official friendship declaration with Colt Seavers, you’re back on the dim, grimy underground train station set, getting ready to watch him throw himself in front of a moving train.

At the moment, Colt is standing on the other side of the train tracks, and you’re watching him from a considerable distance across the set. You have every reason to be there — this is the set you’ve been working on day and night for the last month, after all — but you’re not the least bit worried about any of your props or decorations. All you care about is making sure Colt pulls off one of his most dangerous stunts yet.

It’s been a strange week for you. On one hand, you’re glad that Colt knows you have some feelings for him, and that your friendship has been able to carry on without becoming awkward. His sincere, unexpected apology only made your feelings stronger, but you’re trying to ignore that.

All the same, being “just friends” is the slowest, most excruciating torture you’ve ever known. For one whole week, Colt has not done a single thing that could be interpreted as overly flirtatious, just as he promised he wouldn’t so you could be spared the pain. No subtle touches, no saucy looks, no double-edged words. It’s kind of him, really.

It also hurts like a razorblade on a third-degree burn.

Still, it’s better than nothing. As long as you can have him in your life in some way, you’re satisfied to try to quell these overwhelming feelings that threaten to break free at any moment. You’re in love with him — you know that now if you never knew it before — but you just have to be content knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way. That you have to love him as you’d love a friend.

So here you are, being a supportive friend as he casts himself headfirst into a dangerous situation. This stunt involves standing in for the film’s star, Tom Ryder, whose character is supposed to be shackled to a railroad track directly in the path of a moving train, only to break free just in time. Colt’s job is to pretend to be shackled down and jump up in plenty of time to clear the path of the moving train, which is, to your great dismay, not a prop in the slightest.

As the camera crew makes their last arrangements to start filming this shot, Colt turns from fiddling with a handcuff prop to catch your eyes in the crowd that has gathered to watch. He smiles when he sees you, lifting a hand in greeting and throwing his trademark thumbs-up high above his head.

Your heart speeds up at the sight of Colt’s smile, and you wave back at him in what you hope is an encouraging manner.

“Hey, relax,” a female voice says in your ear. You turn to see Holly grinning at you as she walks back to the cameras that are already in position. “He’s done this kind of thing a million times.”

You cut your eyes at her with a smirk. “I’m not worried,” you insist.

Holly lifts both eyebrows and laughs at you, always able to read what you’re really thinking. You laugh with her, glad to feel the knot in your stomach loosening a little. Holly gives your hand a quick squeeze in encouragement before taking her place at the lead camera station.

When you look back at the set, Colt is already in position, crouched down on one knee with his hands behind his back. You know he’s not actually tied down, but even seeing the fake handcuffs almost makes you wish you hadn’t come to watch.

Elijah Gordon, the director, is shouting some instructions at the crew as they make their last-minute preparations. He’s already cued the train to start moving, as it takes nearly half a mile to get the desired speed for the shot.

“One minute, people!” Gordon bellows, situating himself on a camera dolly high enough that he can see the action below. “We’re doing this in one take, or we’re not doing it at all. Colt, remember I want it to look real!”

Colt grins up at Gordon, his face smeared with fake dirt and his teeth shining like a white band through the grime. “It is real, Gordon!”

Gordon gives a curt nod, then listens to a voice over the walkie-talkie. Though your mind is focused on watching Colt, you can’t help the creeping disdain that you always feel when it comes to Elijah Gordon. The man is a phenomenal director, but he’s also the most callous, self-centered, inconsiderate person you’ve ever known. Knowing Colt’s life is more or less in Gordon’s hands makes you feel queasy.

The train whistle pierces the echoey tunnel chamber, and Gordon lifts his megaphone to shout, “Roll cameras!”

You put both hands over your mouth, dreading having to watch the scene play out. Colt looks entirely confident where he kneels on the railroad track, but you can’t help wondering what he feels in moments like this. Does he get scared? Does he lose faith in his own abilities? Does he ever doubt that the stunt will work perfectly? Can he afford to think like that?

A second train whistle stabs your ears, and you can feel your heart beating faster than ever before. You feel like you’re the one lingering on the tracks.

You can see the train now, and your eyes flit back to Colt, whose face is mostly hidden by the bandanna tied around his forehead. His muscles are tensed, ready to spring away at the perfect second. Gordon is shouting directions, his voice barely audible above the racket of the approaching train. He holds up his hand high in the air, signaling to Colt to stay in position.

The train eats up another hundred feet. Two hundred. Three hundred. Five hundred. Gordon’s hand doesn’t budge, and Colt keeps his eyes on the director for his cue to move.

You can hear your heartbeat hammering in your ears, and it takes all your willpower not to screw your eyes shut. You keep them open as if caught in a trance, bouncing back and forth between Colt and the train as if you’re watching a tennis match.

The train rumbles closer and closer, now near enough that you can see the face of the man driving the engine. You hold your breath, waiting for Gordon to throw his hand down in a signal to Colt.

But Gordon’s hand doesn’t move. Another screeching whistle. The train is less than a hundred yards away now.

You know he should have given Colt the signal by now — you were there for the days of blocking and planning that went into this scene. Suddenly your lungs constrict as you realize Gordon is pushing Colt for a few more seconds on the tracks, long enough to make the film audiences gasp.

“Stop!” you scream at the top of your lungs, but your voice is drowned out by the roar of the train. Your feet are carrying you in a sprint before you even register your own movement. Two hundred feet away now.

“Gordon, stop it!” The director can’t hear you, but Holly does, whirling around and grabbing you by both arms to stop you from getting any closer to the set. You can see Colt’s eyes get wider as he realizes that Gordon isn’t lowering his arm.

Everything in your entire being is shuddering, wanting to shut down, wanting to scream, to explode into action, but Holly beckons for two other crew members to help hold you back. All you can do is watch as the train draws closer and Colt waits for Gordon’s signal. One hundred feet.

“Holly, make him stop!” you scream at your friend, whose distressed expression tells you you’re not alone in your confused panic.

At the last second, with the train less than fifty feet away, Gordon throws his hand down, and Colt is already in motion, somersaulting off the track and into the safety zone as the train — all forty tons of it — whizzes over the space that Colt occupied seconds ago.

Holly and her two crew members hold you back a second longer, and when the red light on the camera flickers off, you break past them and run as fast as you can onto the set. You can barely see where to step as you climb over the platform and down into the dingy, darkened train tunnel, tears blurring your vision and your pulse hammering in your ears.

Colt is leaning against the wall of the tunnel, his face as white as a ghost. Several crew members have already gathered around him, but you shove past them and throw your arms around his neck, uncaring of what anyone might think. You can feel Colt trembling in your arms even as his easygoing voice whispers in your ear, “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

Once you’re satisfied that he really is alive, you pull back, framing his face in your hands and searching his eyes with what you know must be a crazed look. Colt doesn’t say anything more; the color is slowly returning to his face, and his nerves are calming down now that the adrenaline wears off. He doesn’t, however, loosen his grip on you, betraying how shaken he still is.

“Nice work, Colt,” bellows a voice from the train platform. “That was just what we needed.”

At the sound of Gordon’s voice, all you can see is red.

Setting your jaw, you turn away from Colt and stride back to the platform with more rage than you can remember feeling in your entire life. Every muscle in your body is quaking visibly, and your voice rings out loud and clear over the chaos in the set when you shout, “How dare you?”

Gordon turns from his conversation with a cameraman and gives you a nonplussed glance. When he realizes that your yell and your power walk are directed at him, he dismisses the cameraman to deal with you head-on.

“Something you want to discuss?” Gordon asks you, condescension dripping from his voice.

Behind you, you hear Colt making his way onto the platform, his calm voice assuring you, “Hey, it’s okay—”

But you’re not in the mood to be comforted. “It is not okay, Colt,” you shout, your eyes still locked on Gordon. Every eye on the set is directed at you, now that you’ve chosen to make a huge scene with Elijah Gordon himself. Colt pulls to a stop beside you, but your words are still pointed at Gordon. “How could you make him do that? How dare you make him do that?”

“There wasn’t any real risk, kid,” Gordon says flippantly. “Keep your bonnet on.”

“No real risk?” you demand. “Did we just see the same scene? Colt was trying to get off the tracks to stay alive, and you forced him to stay on longer so you could get a ‘closer call’ on camera.”

Gordon’s brows lower at that. “Again, not life-threatening,” he snaps. “If it were, Colt wouldn’t have finished the stunt, and I wouldn’t have made him do it.”

“You weren’t the one staring down the headlights of a train!”

Colt rests his hand on your elbow in an attempt to get you to calm down, but Gordon fires back at you immediately, “He’s a stuntman, my dear. In case you folks in the set decorating department don’t know what that is, it means he does stunts. Sometimes those stunts are dangerous.”

Gordon’s arrogance only inflames your anger more. “I am completely aware that his job comes with risks,” you shout. “But those risks shouldn’t come from a toffee-nosed director who thinks human life is something to play with like a deck of cards.”

You feel Colt stiffen beside you, and his grip on your arm grows firmer. “Hey, it seriously is okay,” Colt assures you. “Just drop it.”

“I’m not dropping it, Colt. If that train had been a few seconds off count, you wouldn’t be part of this conversation. You’d be in pieces on the train tracks.”

Gordon raises his hands to cut in, replacing the harshness in his voice with honey. “Listen, my dear, let’s just keep a clear picture of who you are, all right? You’re here to make the sets look good. You do that very nicely, and I appreciate it. So why don’t you keep your little toffee-nosed opinions off the set where the actual movies are being made, okay?”

You feel a shift in Colt’s body language again, but this time, it’s directed towards Gordon. You stand your ground, shooting a steely-eyed stare at the director that would make any action star proud.

“I bet your producers wouldn’t appreciate hearing that you risked the life of their top stuntman,” you tell him softly.

Gordon laughs out loud at that, as do a few of the crew members standing around him. “Listen, sweetheart, the producers pay me to make their movies look good,” he informs you. His voice changes then, affecting a curious, offended tone. “Aren’t you the one who’s been on a little crusade lately about doing everything with practical effects? You want to change your stance and say I should do all the stunts in VFX? Your boyfriend will be out of a job if I do that.”

A few more crew members laugh, trying to reduce some of the tension that is radiating between you. You know you’re the only person who’s freaking out about Colt’s close call — it’s not like he hasn’t done this sort of thing before — but you can’t help feeling like this is important.

“You absolute scumbag,” you hiss at Gordon. “You seriously are going to play this off like it’s just part of the process? Colt almost died—”

Holly comes up on your other side now, setting a calming hand on your shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay, just—”

“I bet your producers would have loved to hear about that—”

“You need to calm down—” Holly says more firmly.

“And don’t you dare try to throw my own words at me like I’ve supported you risking people’s lives for a cool shot—”

Colt’s voice now. “Look, it’s not a big deal—”

“It is a big deal!” you explode, your voice echoing through the train station. “I mean, am I seriously the only one who sees any value in your life?”

Your comment is heavy, and everyone seems to feel the weight of it. Gordon hesitates, his eyes flicking back and forth between you, Colt, and Holly as if to make sure he’s not about to be physically attacked. The usual buzz of the crew is dead silent.

Finally, Gordon clears his throat and says dismissively, “If you’ve got a problem with me, kid, talk to the studio and see if they care. I can promise you they won’t.” He takes one step closer to you, and in a lower voice adds, “And in the meantime, keep your mouth shut about my processes. You’re good at your job, and I’d hate for you to have to get kicked off set just because you can’t keep your personal life separate from your professional one.”

With that, Gordon whirls around and walks back to the cameras to review the shot.

You’re still trembling with anger, your voice drying up in your throat as you realize that everyone in the crowd is still staring at you. You’re not ashamed of what you said, but you’re embarrassed that everyone on set had to witness it.

Ducking your head, you pull away from Colt and Holly and start walking out of the train station set. Only when the warm afternoon air hits your face do you realize tears have been streaming down your cheeks.

Colt is just a few steps behind you, and you look at him wordlessly, trying to read his expression. There’s not a trace of anger or confusion in his eyes — just a deep gratitude and affection. He slings his arm around your shoulders and leads you away from the set.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

The irony of that question isn’t lost on you. “This isn’t about me, Colt,” you state bluntly. You raise questioning eyes to him. “Does it really not bother you that he jeopardized you? Completely unnecessarily?”

Colt shrugs, his brow furrowing as he thinks. He seems so calm now, no traces of the panicky fear he couldn’t hide immediately after the stunt. “If I felt like it was unsafe,” he says carefully, “I would have jumped off the track no matter what he said.”

Another second, and it would have been too late.

“I know,” you acknowledge, a hint of emotion creeping into your voice. “I just… I don’t know. Just… seeing everyone act like it’s so casual and not important. Like your life doesn’t even make that much of a difference—”

“Hey,” Colt murmurs, stopping and turning you to face him so he can put both hands on your shoulders. “You are reading way too far into this, Picasso. No one is trying to eradicate my existence here.”

His tone is light and his eyes twinkling, and you know he’s trying to get you to laugh this off. But you just can’t.

“I know,” you whisper. “I just hate that it seems like I’m the only one who cares if you live or die. Including you.”

Your last statement makes Colt pause. You see the hesitation in his eyes as he mulls over what you’re implying. “Not true,” he replies at last, pulling you back under one arm as you resume walking towards the tents that have been set up for the crew.

“Really? Because you act like you don’t care.” Your voice holds no edge, no accusation. “You get more and more reckless with every stunt, and it just… it kills me to watch.”

You know you’re saying too much. You know you’re pushing the “just friends” agreement. But you can’t stop.

Colt takes his time responding to that. Suddenly, he seems to be really listening to the hidden meanings in your words, realizing that your outburst toward Gordon was indicative of something a lot deeper, something that you’re trying to communicate to him now. You can feel his steady heartbeat against your side, the gentle pressure of his hand on your shoulder. His steps are perfectly synchronized with yours.

“Look, I don’t have a death wish,” Colt explains at last, a serious note in his voice. “This is my job; I love the danger that comes with it. It’s like I said, both of us do our jobs because it’s our passion, no matter the risks.”

You shake your head. “I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like I was mad at you.”

Colt genuinely chuckles at that. “Believe me, it was obvious who you were mad at.”

“I guess I overdid it, huh?” You can feel some of the intense anger in your chest melting, and you let yourself release a slight laugh as you realize just what a spectacle you made: screaming at one of the world’s top directors on his own set.

“Maybe a little,” Colt confirms kindly. Once the two of you step inside one of the empty tents, he lifts his arm off your shoulders, and you turn to lean back against one of the wooden tables so you can face him. His face is still smeared with grime, and it suddenly reminds you of the moment you shared a few weeks ago, marking each other’s faces with your oil paints.

“I shouldn’t have made such a big deal about it,” you concede, letting your gaze fall to the ground. “I just… felt like it needed to be said after literally everyone on set witnessed it.”

Colt nods, smirking at you and crossing his arms to lean against one of the structure beams. “Hey, I appreciated it,” he says with a wink. “No one’s ever challenged a director to demand safer working conditions for me.”

“Maybe it’s about time,” you shoot back, your heart speeding up.

“Maybe.”

The moment falls quiet. The tent is empty besides the two of you, and all you can hear is the sound of each other’s breathing and the gentle rustling of the wind against the flaps of the tent. Colt tilts his head back against the beam he’s leaning on, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. You can tell that this stunt took a toll on him, even if he’s not showing it.

Without warning, all the feelings you’ve been hiding for the last few months threaten to spill out of your lips. Maybe it was seeing him so close to death; maybe it was your impassioned rant; maybe it’s just what happens when you love someone with the desperation of a drowning person reaching for air.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you blurt out, “I really do care about you, you know.”

Colt doesn’t open his eyes or lift his head back up. “Well, if I didn’t, I certainly do now.”

His tone is humorous, but you’re not letting it go now that you’re committed. It’s now or never. “No, I’m serious,” you insist. “I know we’re just doing the friendship thing, but either way, I really care about you.” Colt lifts his head to fix his eyes on you, and you choose your next words carefully so he won’t misunderstand your meaning. “If you ever think that no one cares if you survive the stunts or not, I hope you know it’s not true. There’s one person in the world who would probably go insane without you around.”

Colt doesn’t laugh, but he doesn’t sound completely serious either when he responds, “Ah, you’d be fine.”

“Please tell me you don’t honestly think that.”

“Look, Picasso, I’m just one guy in the world,” Colt reminds you, shaking his head as if he’s explaining something very simple. “You’re going to meet thousands in your career, which I know is going to be super long and super star-studded. You’ve got everything in your life to look forward to.”

You frown at him, caught off guard by his seemingly off-topic response. “Colt, what are you even talking about?”

He swallows hard, looking off to the side and trying to disguise the emotion tinging his voice. “I’m just… trying to tell you not to put so many big expectations on me. I’m the kind of guy who can only let you down.”

Your heart plummets at his words, and suddenly everything falls into place in your mind. He does care. He’s always cared. He just won’t show it because he thinks he isn’t good enough. The most wonderful man in the world thinks he isn’t good enough.

“That is not true,” you declare, standing up straight for emphasis. “You’re the kindest person I know, and the smartest, and the bravest, and the funniest—”

“I think you’re confusing me with Keanu Reeves.”

“I’m not joking around, Colt. When I’m with you, I can just be myself, and I know you’re going to be there for me. You’ve seen me at my worst, but you act like you only remember me at my best. I know it sounds crazy, but I keep getting this feeling that everything in my life has led up to meeting you. Everything you do means so much to me. Every word you say, every minute we spend together is so, so precious to me. You are so precious to me.”

Your speech seems to stun Colt senseless. You have no idea where all that came from — you just knew that you wouldn’t be able to breathe until you had told him what you were feeling. Colt stands still as he processes your words, and you don’t regret a single one.

“Wow,” he finally whispers. “I have no follow-up for that.”

You shake your head, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. “You don’t need one,” you tell him. “I just… felt like I should say it.”

Colt mulls over your words again. You wonder if anyone has ever talked to him like this, if you’re really the first one who has ever looked at him like he hung the moon in the sky. How could I be? How is it possible that no one else has ever recognized you for the treasure that you are?

“It means a lot,” Colt replies softly. “Seriously, you… you have no idea. Thank you.”

You just nod in response, not sure where to go from here. Colt isn’t acting like himself, overcome by some emotion that you’re not sure of. You don’t know whether to reiterate your statements, or to wait for him to say something, or to just stand in silence together for awhile.

Colt finally breaks the silence. “You sure you’re okay?”

You almost laugh at that, some of the tension sliding out of the atmosphere. “Yeah,” you assure him with a smile. “As long as you are.”

He nods at you, his own smile returning in a quiet sort of way. You’re transfixed by the gentle light reflecting in his eyes, the relaxed slope of his shoulders, when he holds out both arms to you, lifting an eyebrow as an invitation.

You don’t hesitate for a second. Why should you, after you just confessed every secret thought in your heart?

You step into the warm circle of his arms, and he immediately lowers his forehead to rest in the curve of your neck. Colt seems so unsure of himself in this moment, in a way that you’ve never known him to be. He’s trembling slightly again the way he was after he had just leaped off the railroad tracks. You grip your arms around his neck even tighter, and Colt wraps his arms around you so tightly you can barely breathe.

In that moment, you know your assumption was correct. He does care about you as deeply as you do about him. You can feel it in his embrace, in his very heartbeat. Every time you move to pull him closer, he mirrors your movements, closing every inch of space that has ever separated you. The grimy film makeup on his face rubs off on your neck, but it’s the sweetest touch you ever felt.

Colt catches you off guard when he tilts his head just slightly to the side, just enough that his lips are resting on the side of your neck. His manner isn’t seductive or suggestive: it’s as if he’s just breathing you in, trying to memorize the feel of you in his arms. Your sensitive skin prickles at the sensation, and one of your hands finds its way up to thread in the ragged-cut hair at the base of his neck.

You can feel his impressive strength just by the way he holds you, but you can’t help marveling at the gentleness of his hands when he reaches up to stroke the back of your head, once, twice. When he cradles the base of your neck with all the tenderness of an old lover, your stomach twists itself into a knot. He’s killing you. It’s magnificent.

Colt finally lifts his head from your shoulder, his hand still resting at the back of your head. His thumb moves in lazy circles, as if he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, and his eyes drag up your face slowly until they meet your own in a gaze that burns hotter than a supernova.

“I’ve never told you,” you whisper, your breath filling the few inches between your faces, “and I know I probably shouldn’t, but I’m in love with you.”

The words are hardly out of your mouth when Colt squeezes his eyes closed, a look of pain crossing his face. “Don’t. It’s not worth it,” he whispers back.

“It’s too late for that,” you tell him, tears choking your voice. “You don’t have to feel the same way. I just needed you to know.”

Colt doesn’t open his eyes, just shakes his head. “You don’t want to be in love with me,” he says softly, heartbreakingly. “My destination is a dead-end, and you deserve better than that.”

“Colt, I—”

“It’s better if we don’t go this route,” he tells you, opening his eyes so you can read the seriousness in his words. “You’ve got the most amazing future ahead of you. You’re going to be a lot better off without me dragging you down.”

Your heart constricts at his words. “Don’t you dare try to be noble about this,” you murmur, lifting your hands to frame his face. “You could never drag me down, and I couldn’t care less about what you think I ‘deserve.’ All I care about is you. All I want to do is love you, no matter what happens. If you really don’t feel that way about me, just say so. But if you feel as strongly for me as I do for you, please tell me. Please don’t break this off before we have a chance to even try it.”

The look that wells up in Colt’s eyes speaks to you in a language you’ve never understood before. His eyes roam your face, as if he’s searching for some hint that your words aren’t true, some way he can talk you out of your feelings. Realization dawns in his eyes as he reads the message you’re saying in everything but your words. I love you. I’ve loved you this whole time. You will always be enough for me. My heart is so full of you it barely even feels like it’s mine anymore.

He doesn’t kiss you — the distance between your lips and his feels like an interminable distance — but he lowers his face to yours in a way that is so tender, so intimate that all the breath leaves your body at once. He lets his cheek rest against yours, his beard brushing your skin softly, gently. You let your arms wrap around his neck again to pull him closer, nuzzling the side of his face with yours so he feels your meaning: I don’t ever want to let you go.

When his lips brush against your jaw, right below your ear, you can’t suppress your sharp intake of breath. You feel his hands resting on your waist, pulling you close against him, and you can hear his breath coming raggedly. He’s so different when he’s like this — no false confidence, no alleviating jokes, just the passion he keeps hidden from the rest of the world.

You slide your fingers into his hair, and you can feel him react to your touch instantly. He raises his face from where he’s been resting it against yours, savoring in the contact every slow inch he moves. His eyes are closed when he brings his face level with yours again, his breath ghosting over your lips in a way that is so effortlessly tantalizing. It takes all your strength not to tip your head back and drown in his kiss.

With his hand still resting on the back of your neck, Colt pulls you in close one more time, letting his forehead touch yours gently. You close your eyes, breathing in the scent that envelops him — pine needles, cinnamon, and something salty. One moment more, just enough to savor how it feels to be wrapped up in the very essence of him, and Colt pulls back, releasing you from his hold.

“I just can’t do it to you, Picasso,” Colt says, his voice hoarse and strained. “I’m sorry.”

Your heart plummets at his words. It wasn’t enough. All of it wasn’t enough to convince him of your love. Your words are the opposite of what you want to say, but you know there can be no other response. “If that’s what you want,” you answer quietly. “I’ll respect it.”

“I know.”

You take a few steps back, trying to ignore the agony that is so obvious is his voice. Colt still looks like he wants to snatch you back into his arms and beg you to repeat the confession you just laid at his feet, but he doesn’t. He’s too strong, too stubborn, too sure he’s truly doing the right thing by letting you go. You don’t try to talk him out of it. You love him too much to try to change his mind.

You take a deep, steadying breath. “You take care of yourself,” you murmur with a sad smile. “I mean it.”

“I will.” Colt doesn’t even attempt a smile back, the ache in his heart obvious on his face. His gaze wanders over your face for a moment longer, and then he turns and ducks out of the tent.

Once he’s gone, all you can do is bury your face in your hands and weep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Part 6

[mouwrites]

Hopefully requests are open and if they aren’t then please ignore my ask!! I would like to request if you could write a platonic ninjago x younger sibling!reader where the Reader is basically the crying child from fnaf? A crybaby, easily scared and clingy in a sense that they only feel safe with the ninja or their older brother, if you cant do this then you are free to ignore this ask, Have a very nice day/night or evening where you are!

Here you are my darling! I hope you have a lovely day/night too! :D

Ninjago - Ninjas With a Sensitive Little Sibling

Kai

He's already a protective older brother, but with you being so sensitive, he's ultra-protective

Even when people are being nice to you he's hovering carefully, making sure they don't do anything that might hurt you

Not that he really needs to hover; you usually stick to his side anyway

Maybe that's also why he gets worried when you're on your own, though... he's not used to not having you nearby

Whenever he's forced to leave you, he makes sure you're in good hands (i.e. with the other ninja) first

He knows you're sensitive, but he's still Kai; you're not escaping a little sibling conflict

Sometimes he gets annoyed when you follow him around too much, and he'll get all quiet

He knows why you do it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't irritate him a bit

There have been times during which he'd snap and tell you to go find someone else to follow around

If/when that makes you cry, though, he does a complete 180 turn

He crouches down to your level, smoothing your head and frantically telling you he didn't mean it

"Aw, Y/n, please don't cry! I didn't mean it..! Please don't cry!"

Then he'll give you a piggyback if you want it, entirely forgetting his earlier desire to be alone

Cole

He's also pretty protective, but he's more focused on your character and emotions than actually defending you from the world

What I mean is that he'll watch for when you're upset, and when you do get upset he'll take the opportunity to try and build a little character

He's super gentle and always supportive, of course, but at the same time he wants you to grow

So when you cry, he'll hug you until you're calm but then he'll try and talk it out with you

"What made you upset?" ... "Why do you think that upset you?" ... "How can we make sure that doesn't happen again?"

I think he's just really emotionally mature, and he'd want his little sibling to have that maturity, too

Of course, he doesn't force it on you; you're just a kid after all

But he tries to get you on the right path

He still gives you lots of affection though, and is always checking to make sure you're comfortable

When you have to separate, he does try to leave you with one of the other ninja, but if he can't he'll offer lots of reassurance that he'll be right back

He'll be so proud if you're able to be alone for a bit!!

All in all he's just super supportive regarding your needs, but also wants you to learn and grow

Jay

Out of all the ninjas, he coddles you the most

When someone makes you cry he's on them like a feral cat

Once he's satisfied that they've gotten what they deserved (or when they're done beating his ass 💀) he'll come to check on you

He's a little scatterbrained, so he doesn't always remember that you're fragile

Sometimes he'll accidentally make a backhanded comment or leave you all on your own

When he realizes his mistake he flies into a panic, especially if he's mid-mission and remembers that you're alone

He hates seeing you cry, and just the thought of it makes his stomach churn

He always gives you the tightest hug when he realizes his mistake/gets reunited with you, apologizing a million times

Honestly he's more upset about it than you are

Long after you've stopped crying, he's still apologizing (and probably crying a little himself)

Just call him a crybaby and he'll stop on the dot

He'll just stand up and furrow his brows

"Okay, I see how it is. I was all worried about my little Y/n and now they're making fun of me. I guess that's what I get!"

(You're both able to laugh about it, dw)

Zane

As has been established, he's not the most emotionally intelligent out of all the ninjas

Sometimes he struggles to know what he's feeling himself; your emotions are a whole other realm to him

That doesn't mean he can't tell when you're upset, though

Whenever you start to whimper or cry he's at your side in a second, holding your shoulder affirmingly

He's not always sure what to say, but if you want to hug him he'll hug you back

He'll patiently wait for you to calm down, then he'll try to understand why you were upset

"Um, do you know why... what... made you... cry..?"

Be patient with him, I promise he's trying 😭

He starts to learn after a while which things upset you most, and he starts to look out for them whenever you're with him

Whenever he spots one of those things, he's already hurrying to your side before you even start crying

He feels really proud whenever he's able to catch a fit before it happens :)

Honestly, as protective as he feels towards you, he sometimes wonders if you're better off with the other ninjas

You're just so emotional, and he feels like the other ninjas might understand you better

He actually sometimes looks to them to help calm you down

But ultimately he does prefer to be the one to help you, both because he feels responsible and because he loves you the most

Lloyd

He was a pretty rowdy kid when he was your age, so he has a little trouble understanding you

He was rude where you're sensitive, he was cruel where you're gentle... when he thinks of you compared to his younger self, it's like night and day

So he doesn't always catch things that might make you cry

(makes it a little hard to be protective when you don't know which things to be protective about...)

Only when someone else points them out, or when he hears your high-pitched whine, does he realize that you've been upset

He'll rub your back and try to calm you down, but honestly he's a little apprehensive

Like I said, he can't really relate, so he struggles to empathize

That doesn't mean he won't try, though

He'll give you a hug and tell you everything is fine, but he's not sure if he's actually being helpful

"Hey, hey, it's okay..! Here, give me a hug!"

He just feels really bad for you, especially because of this

He asks the others for advice sometimes, trying to understand what it might've been like to be a kid who spent more time being afraid and gentle than trying to be tough and evil

They always assure him that he's doing a great job, with him being so great at showing kindness already

He still doubts himself, and he probably always will, but he'll never stop trying to be there for you

Nya

If you were anyone else's sibling, or just a random kid, Nya would absolutely coddle you

She'd be the most protective person ever, always at your side, ready to defend you from the world

But since you're a Smith...

Sorry, you're getting none of that

She'll never berate you or anything, but every time you start to have a breakdown, she tries to get you to toughen up a little

"Come on, my Y/n, dry those tears. It's not that bad. I'm here."

She'll still be hugging you anyway while she says this

The way she sees it, Kai can do the babying, and she can do the actual teaching

Though she can't help the distaste she feels whenever Kai treats you like a baby

She's talked to him before about getting you to grow up a little, and he does agree that you can't always be this sensitive

From then on they work together to find the balance between comforting you and toughening you up

(Kai still does most of the comforting and Nya still does most of the toughening)

She knows what it's like to be the "weaker" sibling, and she doesn't want that for you–not now, not ever

She'll even give you fighting lessons if it makes you feel stronger :D (tbh she probably will anyway)

Thank you so much for this request! And thanks for reading, take care sweet duckies <33

(divider by saradika)

[offendedteaspoon]

10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags

Tagged a while ago by @ablatheringblatherskite (thanks! :D)

Edmund Pevensie (Narnia)

Snotlout Jorgenson (HTTYD shows)

Charlie Dalton (Dead Poets Society)

Tony Stark (MCU)

Elizabeth Turner, née Swann (POTC)

Gimli (LOTR)

Chuck Bartowski (Chuck NBC)

Robert Chase (House MD)

Linus van Pelt (Peanuts)

Thomas Palmer (Sense and Sensibility)

no pressure tags (feel free to ignore if you've already done this!): @chaotic-bumblebee-agenda @sliverswords @friendrat @myfairkatiecat @whilewewereyetsinners @i-fear-neither-death-nor-pain @restbeyondtheriver @lightthewaybackhome @frustrated-writer-skyeknight @rosiethedragongeek

[artemis32]

Jrksnsk Ur yandere erasermic tho!! It's so good haha. Can I ask what do you think are the ways the reader can hurt them back? Because I noticed that your version of them is rougher(? Or maybe harder? I'm sorry I'm not good w/ words) than others (and I love both versions fyi!!)

So I'm just curious what kind of actions the reader can do to kind of get to them or hit them where it hurts, whether emotionally or physically haha. Like they're so shock or hurt that they can't even punish the reader for it- and if they do they're not that focused on what they're doing.

(bsksnsks I forgot but please feel free to ignore this if you're not taking requests rn or something 😭😭💜)

subjugation drabble v

this is such a delicious thought, i will run with it

subjugation masterlist

So, to truly get to either one of these men, you really have to take some below-the-belt shots. No holding back.

If you're too kind or soft about it, they'll laugh you off as they usually do.

If you're harsh and rough about it, but not enough, they'll just end up annoyed and take it out on you.

You need to stun them to the point of silence, truly shock them.

It's not an easy feat, and if you give them any time to think over what you've done, you'll probably be in more trouble than you'd thought, but if you manage to properly get under their skin, then you've earned yourself some peace and quiet for a while.

And if you do a really good job, you might actually get them to reflect on what they've done - not that they'll ever let you go, they'll just apologise and give you a bit more leniency.

Now, let's get to it.

Verbal

We've already established that calling them perverts or anything along those lines gets them super riled up, though not in the way you want. They become physically aggressive and aren't afraid to put you in your place if they think you've gone too far.

That being said, there are a few verbal jibes that can actually get under their skin, though probably not enough to shock them to a point where they genuinely have no idea how to react.

You could pay special attention to the fact that you were their student - don't outright mention it, but subtly allude to the fact that they were your teachers, people you trusted, long before you caught their eye. That'll give them pause, if only for a moment. After all, you're right.

Their feelings towards you are already wrong on so many levels, but add to that the fact that you were their underage student when they first met you? Regardless of the fact that nothing happened while you were their student, it strikes a nerve.

They, especially Hizashi, feel queasy for a few hours after that.

The best part is they can't even punish you for saying it, because you didn't actually say anything.

Or.

The option which will probably get you the lashing of your life.

You could mention their old friend.

How you found out about Oboro, they'll probably never find out. But regardless, you know about him, and their relationship with him, and you use that to your advantage.

Mention how disappointed your friend would be if he knew that this is what you've resorted to.

They'll be in too much shock to truly retaliate.

"What would he say? If he knew that his two best friends kidnapped a girl nearly half their age because they were just that pathetic?"

You might be expecting a backhand through the face, or a hit hard enough to send you flying, but it never comes.

They just stand there, shocked and appalled by your words, not even able to punish you for tone or your words.

(I'll probably write a separate drabble for this because damn, I love the potential with this piece)

Physical

A good old fashion kick to the groin should do it.

I'm not even kidding - if one day, you reach your limit, eager for even a mere two minutes of peace and quiet, and you decide to go for the nuts - well, whoever you hit will be down for a while.

They'll probably punish you for it, but that means admitting that you managed to pull one over on them, which they won't do. And, they're both well-seasoned pro-heroes. They should know better than to fall victim to a cheap shot like that, so it's completely on them.

Same goes for any head shots that manage to knock them out.

They aren't worried about you getting away, but if you manage to sneak up behind one of them and knock them unconscious - with an object or your own hands - they probably won't punish you, because again, it's on them for not paying more attention. They take it as their own punishment for their lack of awareness.

Plus, they'll never admit it, but the teachers in them are proud of how resourceful and smart you can be when you plan things like that out. It almost warms their hearts.

To them, you're more like a playful kitten than an actual threat.

Months of isolation and inactivity have made sure that any physical advantage you may have had, had melted away. It was difficult to maintain stamina or muscle strength when you were locked up inside for most of the day, and the fact that the two of them watched you like hawks whenever they were around didn't help either.

You couldn't do that much damage to them, at least not physically.

Emotional

The cliché "when you hurt yourself, you hurt us too" is something they'd say (or at least, Hizashi would).

To be completely honest with you, emotionally manipulating the two of them is actually pretty easy.

They truthfully do feel bad about what they've put you through, but they'll never admit it. Yes, they feel bad, so some subtle emotional manipulation would work pretty well on both of them.

Some small mention of the life you used to have; of the longing you feel for what you've lost - it won't really amount to much.

But overtime, it begins to wear on them.

They know how much they've made you suffer. They know, and they feel remorseful. Not enough to grovel and beg, or let you go, but enough for it to weigh heavily on them.

If you hurt yourself to hurt them - emotionally, physically, or otherwise - well, it'll work. Probably better than you'd like it to, honestly.

Immediately after they find out, they'd be stunned, unable to muster any reaction beyond silence. It'd take them a while to process it, but they'd eventually come to terms with it. After that though, they'd hover even more than they already do. They aren’t typically the kind of people who like to coddle you, but they’ll go above and beyond to crowd your space and take up all of your time.

Hurting yourself in any way would definitely get the reaction you want.

That and, if you expressed any emotional ailments you had because of them. That in particular would hurt Shouta - he loves you, and to hear that his actions hurt you - it kills him inside. He does what he does to keep you safe and happy, so it hurts to hear first-hand that it does the opposites.

Like I said, immediately after you’ve expressed your emotional distress, Shouta in particular is the most likely to give you some space.

It’s more to give himself time to think, reflect on himself and his role in everything, but it works out well enough – you’ll get some space from him and his overwhelming presence, and he soaks in the worry and anxiety for a few days before acting on whatever he’s decided.

With Hizashi, it has the opposite effect. He won’t give you any amount of space. Unlike Shouta, who gives you some space for a few days before crowding you, Hizashi immediately overwhelms you.

Of course, in his mind, you feel this way because he hasn’t given you enough love or attention, so clearly the only way to remedy the situation is to overcompensate for what he’s missed.

To emotionally manipulate him, giving him the cold shoulder works surprisingly well. Considering this is a fully grown man, you’d think he’d be able to easily distinguish when you’re trying to manipulate him, but he doesn’t.

If you really want to add insult to injury, give Shouta all of your attention – go above and beyond with your affection. Hizashi will think he’s done something unforgivable.

Cue the begging and pleading.

Be careful with that route though – Shouta is smart enough to see through your antics, and if he sees that you’re trying to manipulate or hurt Hizashi with your games, he’ll shut it down immediately. And then you’ll have a punishment to deal with on top of the usual treatment you receive from them.

Balancing both men while simultaneously manipulating them is a difficult feat, but if you’re smart and patient, you’ll manage. And truly, the results will be worth it.

You’ll have space from the two of them, some much needed peace and quiet, and two mopey men eager for your forgiveness.

Don’t take too long to wrap it up though – their remorse and sadness will very quickly turn to irritation and anger.

After all, they’re in control. You shouldn’t get to dictate your relationship with them, especially not when they’re so generous and take care of your every need without so much as a thank you in return.

But yeah, that's how you can hurt them back.

Their reaction ranges from mild irritation to genuine shock, but no matter what you do, they won't let you go, no matter how sorry they are.

[legacyshenanigans]

Hello! :D I LOVE your little script posts! They let me fangirl SO much! xD Would you mind writing one with Sebastian getting jealous of Garreth talking/hanging out with MC? :D

Hi! 😊 Aw thank you so much! I'm so glad! 💚

Of course! That could be fun! 😀 here you go:

Damn Weasley.

Jealous Sebastian 💚

Sebastian sat at his potions table next to Ominis, glaring across the room at MC laughing and giggling with Garreth Weasley, of all people. He couldn't stop his nose from twitching and his fists clenching at the sight. The skin on his hand rubbing together from clenching catching the attention of Ominis.

Ominis: What's the matter?

Sebastian: ..Nothing.

Ominis: Tell that to your fists. I know that sound Sebastian..Tell me.

Sebastian: Its stupid..Forget it.

Ominis put down the vile of liquid he was holding and turned to face Sebastian with an irritated sigh.

Ominis: Just talk to me.

Sebastian: MC is over there, laughing with Weasley, giggling at his jokes, smiling at him, and he's over there loving every second of it..I..It makes me feel some kind of way, and I hate it.

Ominis: *chuckles slightly* You've always been the jealous type, don't let it bother you, they're just working together, that's all.

Sebastian: *under his breath* Damn Weasley..

He turned to his work book, reading the pages, trying to not focus on MC, but with every giggle and laugh he heard from her it made his body stiff and a ringing in his ears, why was he so bothered? Why was he threatened?

He looked up again, catching MC playfully hit Garreths arm, and then Garreth laughing putting his hand on her shoulder, the most minor of contacts driving Sebastian crazy, but still, he tired to just get on with his work.

After class, everyone was packing up and leaving, he quickly gathered his things and scanned the room for MC, seeing her already just outside the door in the hallway speaking to the red haired Gryffindor, his eyes wernt focused on anything else as he made his way over there, catching the tail end of their conversation

Garreth: So, in 20 minutes?

MC: Of course, I'll meet you in Central Hall and then afterwards we can get it over and done with, with help I'm sure it'll be a breeze.

Sebastian approached them, a small scowl on his face as he stood next to MC, Garreth glanced over to him, a look of slight confusion on his face from Sebastians intimidating energy.

Garreth: Oh, Hey Sebastian.

Sebastian: ...Hi.

With that Garreth smiled at them both before walking away. MC turned her attention to Sebastian.

MC: That was a very cold "Hi", what's wrong?

Sebastian: Nothing, wanna go and get lunch together?

MC: I'm actually going to have lunch with Garreth today, you and Ominis are free to join us if you like, afterwards we're going to the library to get this Potions paper done.

Sebastian tried his best to not show his emotions to the situation, fist clenched again behind his back out of view from MC.

Sebastian: *clears his throat* No..Nevermind, have fun, I guess *walks off back towards Ominis in class*

MC: Sebastian? What's wrong? *confused expression*

Sebastian: *ignores her*

Much later that day at around 7pm, He waited in the common room by the windows, looking out into the lake, anticipating MC's return, he turned harshly hearing the doors open, and saw her, she smiled and waved over at him.

MC: Sebastian! *Sweet grin* you're here, good.

Sebastian: Is it? Is it good that I'm here?

MC: Yes? *confused* what's your problem today? You've been very odd..

Sebastian: Nothing, come on, wanna go for a walk with me? I need to go to Hogsmead. We'll grab a Butterbeer after I've done what I need to do.

Sebastian took MC's hand and began to practically drag her towards the doors, clinging on to any kind of hope of spending some decent time with her today before ANYONE else could interrupt it.

MC: Woah, wait, hang on Sebastian.

Sebastian: *let's go of her hand* Please don't tell me you're going to be spending more time with Weasley today? I've barely seen you..

MC: *realisation* is this what THIS is about?

Sebastian: What?

MC: Your attitude today? Is it because I did some homework with Garreth? *giggles*

Sebastian felt his face flush at those words and her giggle.

Sebastian: N-No..Its not that, anyway shut up let's go *goes to take her hand again*

MC: *pulls away and gives him a cheeky grin* Admit it..You got jealous.

Sebastian: Dont be an idiot..

MC: *giggles again*

Sebastian: *sighs in irritation* I'm not "Jealous" I just don't like the way Garreth was looking at you, and putting his arm on you..Thats all it is, now drop it...I'm not Jealous.

He didn't know who he was trying to kid..MC, or himself. MC leaned forward, planting a small peck on Sebastians cheek, snapping him out of his irritation for a moment.

MC: You have nothing be jealous of *Sweet smiles*

Sebastian: ....*soft grin* So, Hogsmead?

MC: Let's go *holds her hand out*

~

[youredreamingofroo]

what’s your lock screen, last song you listened to, last picture taken, and last movie you watched?

thank you for the tag @visceravalentines !!! :D

(my lock screen is actually a video but I just showed it as a screenshot LMAO)

I shall tag ☝️

@elderwisp @circusjuney @butteredfrogs @venriliz

@flovoid @living-undead @dazetrait @landgraabbed

@dejasenti99 @smoknparade @acuar-io @birdietrait

@minimooberry @locustsend AND @orbitsuns (and anyone else who wants to do this!)

feel free to ignore if you've already done it or don't wanna do this :)c

[cacodaemonia]

Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love! 💖💖

(if you've already done this, feel free to ignore, unless you wanna do it again 😉)

Ah, thanks so much for sending this! <3 Since I did fics last time, lemme see if I can find 5 images I've done that I could rec... Okay I'm gonna put little previews for each of the images below the links, too.

[comic] The things we do for love… - A comic about Boil being sweet and then having regrets

2. Here comes the sun - A fully rendered painting of WB kissing that I did for Waxer*Boil month

3. now kiss - Steela Gerrera and Sugi for SW sapphic week

4. Waxer/Boil mythology AU - I actually still like most of the images I've done of gargoyle!Waxer and dryad!Boil, but this spicy one is my favorite

5. "Look at me! Don't let go!" - Boil + Waxer + werewolf, also for Waxer*Boil Month

Thank you again!! Gonna go send this to some folks now :D

[corazondebeskar-reads]

on today's episode of ~tmi with toni~:

I was NOT a good girl 😭

I always share the good stories, but I think I'd do an injustice to my goal of healthy d/s rep if I didn't talk about the bad.

warnings for subdrop, safewords, and punishments (and a happy ending) below the cut, friendly reminder that this is also my kink journal and pls feel free to ignore this if you're only here for fandom or are going to be weird about it

I'm inherently not a brat. I was, once upon a time, but it ended up being one of those concepts better suited for fantasy than reality.

(We figured that out the first time he used a painless punishment, and it became very clear that a) I had been enjoying punishments too much, and b) I did not have the heart to handle disappointing him.)

this is all to say that I couldn't remember the last time I was willfully disobedient. that was, until two days ago.

one of the worst parts is that I got away with it in the moment because it simply did not connect for him. why would he ever think I was being intentionally bad? it's been years. maybe a fucking decade.

it started out normally; I was walking by, and he grabbed me and bent me over the bed. I was 1000% on board until I realized he wanted anal, and (this IS tmi with toni, pls remember) we were maybe too rough last time, so I was still raw and not looking to bleed.

I called yellow, and (I really want to emphasize this) he stopped immediately, stepping back and taking his hands off me while checking in verbally. I explained—not because I needed to justify the safeword but because I wanted him to know I was still down to fuck in a different venue.

He double-checked, because he's a soft dom and a worrier, and then he fucked my pussy. After a while, he slapped my ass and told me to get up on the bed on my back.

but reader, I did not want to. he was hitting it soooo good from behind. But instead of just... saying that or asking nicely, I decided just to fuck back into him until he got lost in the sauce and continued.

After a while, he told me again to get on the bed on my back. I really, really did not want to. That was probably the position I wanted least, so I climbed up and laid on my side in another position.

He still didn't realize it was intentional and just manhandled me where he wanted. Later, he told me he thought I was just cockdrunk. I was, but unfortunately, I was also being selfish and disrespectful.

He didn't notice, but I couldn't deny it to myself any longer, and got myself so upset in secret that I couldn't come when he told me to. (This is not something I get punished for. I usually can come on command, but if I can't, I can't.)

I confessed when we were done, but tripped and fell into a bad subdrop. Hence why I didn't get punished until today.

He held me and wrapped me in a warm blanket until I stopped shaking. When I was okay enough for him to get up, he got me juice and ran a hot bath. And did it again the next morning when I woke up shaky and achy from the comedown.

He didn't want to punish me, not after dropping like that. But he knows me and knows I needed it, so today, when I was able to take it, he caned me.

I know, I know—I'm a masochist, and we've already established that pain punishments don't usually work. but look. I do NOT like the cane. That cane and I are arch nemeses. It's evil and mean and I wish it a very good trip to hell.

Which is exactly why I volunteered it when we negotiated punishments. (and why if you've read my kink-adjacent works, it shows up as a villain lol)

TLDR; my dom is amazing, but now it hurts to sit. 😭

[spotofmummery]

What Sky Are You? - Amon

Stormy Sky

You don't shy away from expressing yourself. Your emotions can be unpredictable, but you try not to stifle them. You're passionate to a fault. You are fiercely loyal and won't hesitate to defend and protect the people and things you care about. But you can be impatient at times - with yourself and with others. Sometimes you turn to "easier" emotions like anger when you don't know how to handle things like guilt, grief, or helplessness.

-Take Quiz Here!-

Tagged by: @briar-ffxiv @starrysnowdrop @qxynalvaleroyantb @reikatsukihana - Thanks to everyone who wanted to know Amon's sky! :D

Tagging: Gosh, I've seen a lot of folks already do this, so I'm not sure who this will be a repeat for. Feel free to ignore if you've already done it!

@koijikido @cadrenebula @thegildenheart @placesyoucallhome ...and anyone else who wants to do it!

[sam-glade]

Author Ask Game

Tagged by the lovely @mariahwritesstuff here, @writernopal here, and @tisiphonewolfe here, @void-botanist here - thank you all💜

Gently passing the tag to: @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @vollzz @rbbess110 @flock-from-the-void @pheita @i-can-even-burn-salad (feel free to ignore if you've done it already)

1. What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

I don't write with the aim to teach a lesson. However, after figuring out the plot, I'll look back and see what message I can focus on. Usually, it's kindness, but I also hope to inspire people to find strength within themselves.

2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

A lot of real world cultures and history. In the case of my main setting, the amount of research into the history and culture of Central and Eastern Europe in the 18th century (especially the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth) would probably be enough to write straight up historical fiction, buuuut I like the fantasy elements, and I don't enjoy writing non-queernormative societies. So here we are.

The second instalment, The Truth Teller, is again in a fantasy version of the Eastern Bloc, and I get a lot of inspiration from talking to people who've lived there in the second half of the 20th century.

Finally, The Fulcrum is an exercise in worldbuilding. It started with a question, what would happen if evolution took a different path, and the dominant sentient species was most closely resembling birds. Other than that, I use it as an excuse to explore other periods in history - primarily late-Bronze and Iron Age.

3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

The goal is different every time. E.g. for Days of Dusk:

In Gifts of Fate, Lissan is the MC, and he wants to survive without hurting anyone (the demon possessing him makes it difficult). What I want to achieve with him is to inspire people to persevere.

In The Prince's Shadow Erya is trying to kill Lissan, while dealing with complicated grief. My goal is to inspire people to move on, without preaching forgiveness (the two main characters still hate each other at the end).

In Prodigal Children, Lissan, Erya, and Gullin are the three MCs who are told with absolute certainty that something terrible will happen and it will result in war. They each try to deal with it in a different way. Erya aims to minimise the damage. Gullin thinks he can't do anything about it, so he focuses on protecting his loved ones. Lissan refuses to accept that it will happen at all. My goal as the writer is to showcase that each of these responses has its merits and can't be condemned from the get go.

4. How many chapters is your story going to have?

I'm a pantser, so I can answer it only for completed drafts. Gifts of Fate currently has 49 chapters, averaging just over 2k words each - with the total being 109k.

5. Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Everything I post on this blog is original. I don't plan to post the novel-length project online - I'm hoping to publish them traditionally. Some side WIPs may end up being posted here or on AO3 (the unnamed parody thingy that still needs a title), and my Silmarillion fanfiction can be found here (more to come).

6. When and why did you start writing?

I vaguely recall writing my first fantasy heroine self-insert story at the age of 11 or so, then Tolkien fanfiction when I was 15-18, then original fiction onwards. It started as an outlet to my creativity, but now it's to get some peace and quiet in my mind. If I don't put the stories down on paper, they keep buzzing in my head, being distracting.

7. Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

Words of encouragement? Just do it. Imperfect doesn't mean bad. Don't let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good'.

I follow a tonne of writeblrs, so here are a handful of shoutouts: @acertainmoshke @writernopal @tabswrites @toribookworm22 @winterandwords @aether-wasteland-s

Blank questions below:

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

How many chapters is your story going to have?

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

When and why did you start writing?

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

[lutethebodies]

A playthrough sans companions is utter bliss

I'm very curious if the "Party Limit Begone" mod would be part of any official Patch 7 mod support on Mac. Because, well, I've been ready—and you can be too, especially if you've already explored all aspects of gameplay with the BG3 companions.

Are you tired of constantly managing your companions' approval? Weary of walking on eggshells lest you spoil your Faerunian fuckability? Absolutely over the idea of imposing real-life "morality" on a video game? Then have I got a playthrough style for you: ignore every single companion! Sure they're all well-written and compellingly voiced and whatnot. But after a year and umpteen dozen playthroughs, I'd had enough.

About the time of Patch 6 I belatedly figured out how to customize hirelings and then fake out the game to play as multiple Tavs (a chore on MacBook, but worthwhile). After that, ignoring the six origin companions (and pets) in Act 1 has made for a powerfully annoyance-free experience. No religious bickering! No selfish whining about vampire lords! No devil-related daddy issues! No needy arcane hunger! No plot-dependent rejection if you don't do stuff they don't like! Hell, you can even ignore the later companions too. Discovering everything the game allows is always fun.

What's more, I get to play as my own characters—whom I'll always love more than all the companions. Yes, even more than Minthara, my favorite romance in the game and favorite companion overall. I've played my characters in tabletop for years, some even dating back to AD&D 2e circa 1992. The greatest thing about D&D/BG3/any role-playing game is the ability to create your own heroes. To never be stuck as Link or Aloy (as lovely as they are) or whomever The Story says you have to be.

And that's not even getting into the true glory of emotionally divesting from fandom fights about ascension or breakups or whatever fever-dream hyper-judgmental silliness gets associated with companions. Want to get back to that true first-playthrough-feeling, where obnoxious fandom-based melodramas need never intrude on your brain as you play? Well, this...won't do that, sadly, but it will free you from other people projecting their insecurities onto pixel-spouses. And that, folks, is liberating.

When I consider the possibility of creating four completely customizable Tavs and three moderately-customizable hirelings versus the backstory baggage, approval-mining, and seven levels' worth of terrible camp clothes (because why dress like a chump when you can knock out potential companions and steal their kits?), the choice is clear. Tav is greater than all of them (and for me, more than the Dark Urge), and Four Tavs are greater than one.

"Okay fine, smart guy—even if I wanted to throw out all that stuff, how do I do this?" For a MacBook, the TLDR is basically "launch the game as four separate logged-in Mac accounts, use the LAN option, create your characters, and save once the opening cinematics are done." My laptop doesn't have max memory, so it had to work hard and was really slow with multiple concurrent BG3 sessions. There are better step-by-step details on the web somewhere, I can't remember where.

Anyway, happy Wednesday. Raid the Grove.

[prsk-krow]

i... IT IS I, ✨THE ANON THAT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND VOCALOID LOGIC✨

also, hi again :D

Can I request for (R)omantic headcannons for Mafuyu and Mizuki (seperate) with a smart, and egotistical Reader? But when Reader sees something their doing about to fail/not go as planned, Reader becomes the completely opposite of their egotistic self and just breakdowns, mumbling something about their parents finding out etc, etc. And this fear doesn't seem to go away in Reader's mind due to past experiences with their parents that, pressured Reader pretty badly into becoming the best of the best which is why, Reader have become egotistic.

yes, I am craving for angst and even though I don't understand what I just wrote so feel free to ignore this 💀

{Mafuyu/Mizuki with a fake egotistical Reader!} [R]

Welcome back! Since you're pretty easy to distinguish, and you've asked up to three asks already, would you like to be a special anon? I think Sparkle ✨ anon sounds nice!

Mafuyu Asahina

It's quite the interesting duo you two make, an emotionless student and an egoistical one! You knew that if you wanted to get close to her, you may need to tone it down a bit, but she didn't mind too much.

Of course, as long as you respected her boundaries and her stuff, she wouldn't mind your self centered attitude! Although she did remind you from time to time to tone it down...

Especially when she realized that it was pretty much fake. Like with the seamstress, Mafuyu was skilled at seeing through fake personas, no matter how reinforced they may be! And yours was no different.

That's why she just allowed you to act that way, because she knew that you would become scared and vulnerable if she acted more cold or demanding! She didn't want to be the reason someone else became afraid to show emotions, especially not someone who she shared intimacy with...

Even though she would try to give you your freedom, it wouldn't take long before she stumbles upon you hugging your knees, sitting down in the hallway and muttering to yourself...

She is unsure about how to comfort you, as she isn't the romantic type, so she simply sits down next to you and places her hand on your back, making her presence known while giving you the silence you needed.

When you're done, she admits that she knew about this side of you since you two started dating, and that she didn't mind you having a vulnerable side. If you didn't have it, she probably wouldn't have bothered as deeply as she has.

"I'm positive. I already know how to read people, and I knew that you weren't mean spirited. It's an attempt to believe in yourself, isn't it? I can understand... It's hard to have that at times. Don't worry, I'll accept this side of you as well as the annoying one. It's the best I could do as your... Partner."

She can be a bit insensitive, but it's surprisingly nice to have someone you don't need to hide your true persona from, or have to explain everything to. It does feel off at times, but it just helps you be more comfortable with yourself...

And when she tells the rest of Niigo about what you were muttering under your breath, they all decide to take both of you away from your families and let you two live together! You both deserve it.

Mizuki Akiyama

Here is the other analyzer that will realize that there's something not quite right with your ego. They aren't the type to be fooled with behavior like that!

They're even more careful than the honor student to keep your fake persona up though, as she knows how scary it could be to have your vulnerable side revealed to the whole world! They'd feel so horrible if their beloved was brought to insecurity tears because of them...

So they do their best to keep your ego strong while making sure to tease you and poke at it to make sure it doesn't get too bad! It's surprisingly stable, and Mizuki is very careful to keep it that way, even though it may not look like it!

They're aware, however, that no matter how much they try to protect your frail exterior, and you would collapse at any moments... They had been preparing for that as well.

As soon as they hear your chocked sobs, they immediately grab their bag of comfort plushies and pillows and run to your side, making sure to separate you from any source of insecurity!

They surround you in comforting sensations and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, letting you relax in your own mini-heaven... And they'll keep you like this as long as it takes.

It's a sudden shift from their usual teasing, excited self as they turn gentle and caring until you can truly demonstrate that you're feeling better. Comfort foods are also on the way!

"What do you mean I'm not acting like myself??Hehehe, it's your fault for not noticing how caring of a partner I am! Silly you, you pay so much attention to yourself that you didn't notice how nice I could be~... Well, now you know that it's alright to ask me for help whenever, right?? Good!"

They will also spend the next few days looking over you and giving you tips to avoid making a fool out of yourself, and how to ensure that those mistakes aren't made in the first place! Giving you tons of rewards for each lesson learnt is also very much intended!

They can't help but feel proud of themselves throughout the process... Helping someone like you truly feels nice, especially someone who she can feel so connected to. And they will definitely remind you of this as they tease you with kisses and whispers!

[jakey-beefed-it]

List 7 Comfort Films and Tag 7 People

Tagged by @knighthawkchapter. Haven't done one o' these in a while, but here goes. For my purposes, 'comfort movie' is 'movie you would pretty much always plop down to watch if it came on the tv' as well as 'movie you genuinely enjoy'. Comfort in the more strict sense doesn't really factor into all of these.

Willow- The tone is pretty much exactly what I strive for in my d&d games. Yes, there's a plot, there are stakes, and it's fairly serious, but there are also drunken French brownies and slapstick shenanigans taking the piss out of the self-proclaimed great warrior.

Ladyhawke- Different tone from Willow, a bit more earnest and a lot more Medieval (except for the gloriously 80s synth soundtrack) but still a great story about the persistence of love and the shittiness of the church.

Independence Day- An extremely stupid movie with an extremely stupid premise (conveniently biologically similar aliens with even more conveniently compatible computer systems invade Earth for its resources rather than just bombard it from orbit and sift the debris) but lots of fun to watch.

Aliens- The film is just a sci-fi horror action masterpiece. The best parts of Alien- vastness and hostility of space, mounting tension, sense of creeping dread -but with lots of exciting action and character development to boot. And then Ripley and Hicks retired to raise Newt together; end of franchise.

Ghostbusters- Pretty dated already in some critical ways and only getting worse as time goes on, but many of the jokes still land and no movie has made me laugh as consistently throughout my life. Also one of the first films that lodged itself so thoroughly in my psyche it permanently warped my vocabulary.

Pacific Rim- Look. I could probably have just said 'The Entire Guillermo del Toro oeuvre but this one probably better fits the definition of 'comfort' than, say, Pan's Labyrinth or The Shape of Water. It's just a delightful film about choosing hope in the face of incredible odds. Also there are kick-ass kaiju, giant fighting robots, mad scientists, and one of the best love stories (platonic or otherwise) on film. And then Mako and Raleigh retired to hang out together; end of franchise.

Mad Max: Fury Road- I mean, you've seen it, right? Fucking look at it. It's pretty much the Perfect Film- pacing, characterization, cinematography, thematic consistency, law of conservation of narrative. Rewards casual viewing, REALLY rewards analysis. Still frothing at the mouth about this movie after eight years.

Tagging- @motheatenscarf, @petepaintswarhammer, @copperforge, @relentless-endurance, @savvylikeyeahhh, @13skeletons, @adhdgrapher, and anyone else who feels like it and needs the excuse. As always, please regard my tagging you as an invitation which you are free to ignore or decline without causing any offense.

[eyesofshan-if]

Hello there! :D

First of all, Happy New Year! I wanted to tell you that I'm already hooked on your IF. You immediately got my attention. I'm already in love with Hansol and Yongsun, haha <3

I've got a few questions, if that is alright with you. Please feel free to only answer what you want or ignore it entirely if it's too many at once!

First: I checked your Tumblr and the post on the forum but I didn't see anything so I'm wondering what we should refer to you as? (It feels a bit weird to always say "dear author" and the likes, unless that's something you'd prefer of course!)

Second: I love the character posts you've already done and talking about the ROs I'm wondering if you could--if you have time, no rush there--post a color palette for skin colors? I read the text but I always have a hard time getting it from that alone 🥲

3rd: what sort of voices does everyone have? (Rough, smooth, melodic, etc. ) Maybe you even have some voice actors in mind what you'd think they would sound like? Though I personally only really recognize Japanese VAs, I would gladly Google anyone else lmao

That's it, sorry this got so long😭

To wrap this up I hope you have a wonderful week, lots of fun with your story and please don't forget to rest, eat and hydrate enough! :D

happy new year (although this reply is a few days late oops) i’m really glad that you like my sorry attempt at an IF!! here are my answers under the cut because its pretty long!!

one: you can refer to me as pingu (i just decided that today) for now!! but i do like being called dear author as well <3

two: i will try my best for a skin colour palette, but here’s a warning that my eye for anything colour related is absolutely awful. trying to do those moodboards was an emotional rollercoaster. but because you asked i will try my best. please remember that these are only my take on the subject, and you’re free to have some artistic freedom with where you take it!!

^^ this was an awful struggle and should probably just be used as a suggestion because i am an absolute clown when it comes to colour. please just use it as a reference for the light to dark and warm to neutral skin tones!!

three: i’ll try putting a mixture of kpop idols here together with japanese vas, so you can hear them speak in a normal tone!! japanese vas tend to exagerrate a lot in their delivery, which is not how i imagine them to speak in real life hoho. most of the kpop idols voices come from the group ateez, who are around the ages of most of the characters mentioned

hansol: warm to people he is close with. his voice feels like the gentle heat of a fire after spending a long time out in the cold. tends to speak politely and use proper language, but there’s a certain liveliness to his tone. his voice references are ateez’s yunho and hino satoshi

insu: his voice is always sharp and cold, like the edge of a steel blade. he speaks briskly, always prioritizing efficiency. not afraid to swear at anyone, including the emperor. his voice references are ateez’s yeosang and yuki kaji (specifically his todoroki voice, not eren yeager)

yongsun: listening to his voice feels like you’re sitting next to a running stream alone at night, moonlight ripping off the waters. he always speaks calmly, seemingly able to make any situation feel lighter with a single sentence, and each word contains a certain quiet self confidence. his voice references are kaedehara kazuha (nobunaga shimazaki) and kamisato ayato (akira ishida)

wooyoung: lighthearted and playful. there’s are little ups and downs to his cadence that makes you feel as though the sun is shining on you, beckoning you to play outside. he might not sound like the refined gentleman he’s supposed to be, but his voice is enjoyable to listen to. his pitch isn’t very low, and sounds youthful. his voice reference is ateez’s wooyoung (wow)