#feel like pure shit just want what they have

[venomhound]

Hazbin Hotel - Vox Kink Headcanons

Personal kink headcanons for my beloved tv man Vox. Not doing the more obvious/universally accepted kinks. Instead I'm writing about some of my more... niche takes.

WARNINGS: Gender neutral reader, but is AFAB for the last section; all the kinky shit obviously; Valentino mention (18+), MDNI, NSFW below the cut ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Domestic Kink ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

For those who don't know, a domestic kink is being turned on by doing everyday couple things. Things like cooking, cleaning, that type of thing. Vox basically gets turned on by you two being a couple and taking care of each other. The man is so love starved he just gets sent to another planet by those simple everyday shows of affection.

If you start helping Vox get dressed in the mornings, he will melt into a puddle. Every. Time.

It started simple enough, Vox was in a rush so you thought to help him put on his coat. Sliding it onto him, adjusting the collar, straightening his bowtie... You didn't notice how still he went until you went to fix his sleeves and you looked up into his wide, almost feral eyes.

Vox desperately crashed his lips against yours as he pulled your bodies flush together causing you to squeak. Only then did you feel how hard you had made him as he grinded into you... Needless to say, Vox had to reschedule his entire morning.

Vox will come home to you cooking dinner and just bend you over the counter. Whispering in your ear, 'Your so sweet doing this for me, Sugar. Now let me take care of you."

I have had the scenario floating around of you making Vox breakfast in bed one morning just as something nice to do for him. You dont think too much of it, he has been so tired and overworked lately so you figure any extra sleep he can get would do wonders for him

Vox however, absolutely fucking loses it. When you wake him up with tray in hand, he... just kind of stares at you. What do you mean you already made breakfast? Wait you have breakfast? For him? For him in bed?

You actually thought the man might have bluescreened. It takes you setting the tray down and grabbing his hand before he starts moving again.

Vox pulls you into his lap and starts peppering kisses all over you. He just cant believe that this is actually happening; that your here with him, that you did such a sweet thing, and oh god does he love you so much.

He actually is daydreaming about it the rest of the day and bragging about it whenever he can.

Comes home early that evening just to surprise you and spend a romantic evening together (totally not because he accidentally pent himself up gushing over you all day ABSOLUTELY NOT).

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Recording/Being Recorded ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

(This one might not be a niche take but I'm putting it here anyway cause I want to yap about it)

I wasn't quite sure if there was a specific name for this kink. But what I mean by this is Vox loves to specifically record you two having sex. Like an amateur porn thing. However. These videos are meant for his eyes only.

Vox would murder anyone who so much as tried to get their hands on these videos. God help them if they actually saw one. Its not even a matter of honor or anything, its a matter of only Vox is allowed to see you come apart like that. Vox is the only one allowed to hear you make those sounds.

Vox honestly isnt going to even bring this whole 'recording you two' thing up unless he trusts you completely. Even then he is super sheepish the first time he asks about it. Vox knows your going to be suspicious and, yeah, you rightfully are due to his association with the porn moth.

It takes a bit of prodding for you to get out of Vox that he sees it as a different way to enjoy you. To experience you. He will get to see your beautiful body at angles he never could while he plows into you. He can finally see the look of pure ecstasy on your face as he eats you out, diving his tongue as far into you as it can go.

Vox is over the moon when you finally agree to let him place a camcorder in your shared bedroom.

You viscerally notice how much more relaxed and strangely content Vox seems to be next time you two have sex. Vox always had this certain tension to him and its just... gone now.

What you don't realize is that 'tension' was Vox's underlying fear of how transient you were. He was always trying to absorb as much of you as he could, to memorize every part of you. But now he felt like he could truly let himself enjoy the moment knowing that he will be able to listen to your heavenly sounds on repeat, analyze every little twitch he causes, and fully see every expression you make.

A deep, deep, dark part of Vox want to tell Valentino to cancel every shoot he has for a day. To reserve the studio just for you two. To spend an entire day taking you in every way imaginable. Bringing you to bliss in every messy way he possibly can. Getting you to make every obscene noise that beautiful voice of yours can make.

But Vox knows that he could never trust Valentino to not make a copy of you two for himself. So he will stick to his amateur recordings. Anything to keep you safe and to himself.

Whenever Vox is missing you at work (or whenever he gets a free moment honestly), he starts watching back one of your now countless sex tapes. He will let the odd feeling of comfort wash over him as he sees the adoring looks you give him and hears you two exchange words of love. God, he can't wait to get back home to you.

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Cock Warming ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

OKAY. I think I've gotten the point across that Vox is a certified lover boy™ who basically wants to imbibe your very being. Whelp. This is just more of that.

Don't get me wrong, Vox loves sex. Sex is great. But having you on his lap, his cock inside you, the two of you as close as two beings can physically get, and just- enjoying that... It hits differently you know?

Say its due to his mechanical nature all you want, (insert joke about 'plugging in' here) but Vox loves to feel like you two are truly connected. When your bodies actually become one like this, he is just that much closer to perfect.

As stated previously, will let you sit on his lap and cockwarm him anytime you please. Vox's absolute favorite times are when he has to do work ironically. He can never stop the blissful smile he makes as he has you in his lap. Vox will gently hold you with one arm while the other tries to get work done. You always end up giggling whenever you kiss up the side of his neck or monitor and Vox lets out the most contented sighs.

Honestly, just start going to work with him, becoming his personal cocksleeve whenever he is in his monitor room. A blanket draped over the two of you to hide what's actually going on.

Since the poor guy has no choice but to sleep on his back; you can easily do the same thing for bedtime. Climb on top of him and delicately slide him inside of you. Vox will just look up at you with the most lovedrunk expression as you bend over him and nuzzle into his neck, your body draping over his, and Vox pulling you impossibly close as you both fall asleep.

Its times like this that Vox questions why anyone would even need heaven.

[kasagia]

Mastermind

Pairing: Benny Cross x fem!rich! reader Summary: Benny sees you at one of the car picnics the Vandals have invited themselves to. You catch his attention immediately. When his eyes land on you, he knows that nothing ia gonna stop him from getting you. Unfortunately, you're with some rich bastard. Luckily, Benny is a mastermind. And he won't stop untill you will be his. Taglist for Benny: @aleemendoza2425-blog My mumbling: To be honest, I don't know what it is, I just had this idea in my head and this fic took on a life of its own. Benny Cross' Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist

"Who is this girl?" Benny nods in your direction. You eye one of the more decent cars, glancing every few moments at the Vandals’ abandoned bikes a few feet away.

But your gaze isn't full of disgust or fear. No. It's pure curiosity, excitement, a yearning for the thrill of danger. And who is Benny to ignore the call of such a beautiful girl?

At first, at a very first glance, he was simply interested in you. You were beautiful, dressed in expensive clothes, out of his league, but Benny liked a challenge and the thrill of the chase.

But when he saw you save one of the Vandals' kids from being hit by a moving car and calm the kid down, entertaining him without a shadow of aversion to the bikers' kid, until he forgot about it and went back to his parents, something in Benny clicked. No one else saw it but him. But that's the moment Benny knew you were going to be his wife.

"Don't even think about it, boy. Princess of Chicago. Her father sleeps on the cash register, it's a miracle she's even here and hangs out with commoners like us." Johnny pats him on the back, laughing. But Benny's got a plan. And he'll stick to it until he gets you.

"I asked for a name." Benny replies calmly, still glaring at you even after some stupid rich spoiled kid who spat at Vandal earlier walks up to you and wraps his arm around your waist. Benny wants to rip the man's hand off of him for that desecration of you.

"Y/N Y/L/N. The apple of her father's jewelry company's eye. Future heiress to the fortune and out of your reach, boy." Benny nods at this information, still watching you.

"You know what they say... Strategy sets the scene for the tale."

He lights a cigarette and sees you pointing at a beautiful black Triumph Fury from England. Benny doesn't say it's the best choice, but he's seen worse cars. You had... quite good taste.

His blood boils when your stupid boyfriend snaps something at you, but instead of listening to his shit, you just walk away from him and leave him alone by the cars.

Benny giggled a little.

You lean against one of the trees and reach for a cigarette. Your flame in the lighter fortunately refuses to obey. Benny sees his chance.

In a few quick steps he's in front of you while you're still struggling with the lighter. You lift your head at him and Benny swears his heart stops for a moment as your eyes finally land on him.

He watches your face carefully, inhales the scent of your sweet and probably expensive perfume as he carefully raises the lighter with the flame to your lips painted with a sinful red lipstick and lights a cigarette for you without a word as you stare at him in amazement. Benny tenses his muscles just a little to look better in front of you.

"Thanks." You mumble and grab a cigarette in your hands. You lean against the tree and exhale, calming down from the nicotine smoke and not caring about his presence.

"No problem." Benny nods and leans silently against the tree next to yours.

He refrains from looking at you and instead looks at the bikes in front of you. He barely suppresses a smirk as he feels your piercing gaze on him.

"What are you?" You ask him, looking him up and down carefully.

Benny shrugs and taps his Vandal pin on his chest a few times with his index finger. You roll your eyes at him and blow smoke from your red lips, making Benny want to inhale the cloud you exhale.

He was so lost...

"What do you want?" You ask him angrily, assuming that lighting you a cigarette wasn't a selfless act. Because it wasn't. Benny had his purpose in doing it. But you didn't need to know that yet.

"Nothing." He shrugs and lets go of the cigarette, holding it between his lips as he shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans and looks at you the way you look at him.

"Then why are you standing here?"

"And why are you standing here, sweetheart?" He answers your question with one of his own. You frown, and Benny smiles softly to himself at how adorable you look all irritated and wrinkled.

"I have a boyfriend." You respond coldly. Benny, however, is not put off by this. He just throws one contemptuous glance at the loser who is your boyfriend and goes back to looking at you.

"And I have a bike." You snort at his words before you can stop yourself, and when Benny hears your soft giggle, his heart skips a beat.

A smirk tugs at his lips, adrenaline pumping through his veins from the excitement of making you laugh as he watches you intently, as if trying to memorize the exact image of you.

"Oh, I've seen." You mumble dismissively, but Benny sees your gaze fall on HIS bike.

The mere fact that you know which one belongs to Benny makes you unconsciously show him that you are at least the slightest bit interested in him. And that is exactly what Benny needs for now.

"Like it?" He asks, approaching you. He leans against the same tree as you, his bare shoulder brushing yours.

Goosebumps rise on your skin and you try to hide your reaction to his proximity by casually throwing your cigarette to the ground without looking at Benny.

"Did you steal that Harley?" Benny gives you a mischievous, mysterious smirk at your accusation.

He takes another step towards you and stops right in front of you. He's clearly invading your personal space, but he's far enough away to leave millimetres between your bodies. Your scent intoxicates him, and the heat of your body calls to Benny like a siren's song to sailors. And how much he wanted to be devoured by you...

"Who said it is an origianl one, little shrew?" You swallow and look away from him to analyse his bike again.

Benny can see the gears in your head turning, the way you squint as you try to find the difference between his bike and the original. And god, Benny is only a man, of course he took advantage of your moment of inattention and checked you out. Especially the valley between your breasts...

"Wait... you made it? On your own?" You ask impressed and he simply nods.

Unfortunately, you don't get to talk any longer. Your pathetic excuse of a boyfriend walks up to the two of you and, ignoring Benny completely, tells you that you have to go back to some stupid family dinner.

I can see in your eyes that if it were up to you, you would stay longer, but you're reluctant to leave Benny's side and follow your boyfriend.

"If you ever want a real ride, look for Benny!" He shouts after you. Out of the corner of his eye he sees you turn around but he's not looking at you anymore.

He goes to his bike and starts it with a loud roar. He adjusts the side mirror to get a good view of you and does a few of his signature stunts before he drives off.

He smiles to himself, realizing you've been watching him the whole time. The bait worked.

"Holly shit." You mumble to yourself as you stand on the side of the highway.

You sigh as you get out of your car, wondering how the hell you're supposed to get to the city now that your boyfriend's tires are flat. He's fuming, cursing at the car while you calmly smoke a cigarette sitting on the trunk of a broken-down car.

"Why aren't you doing anything?! Do something! I'm not pushing this into town. Take off that sweater and try to hitchhike." Your boyfriend yells at you angrily. You raise an eyebrow at him and continue smoking calmly, refraining from punching him in the nose. Just then you hear the loud roar of an engine.

You turn your head and see the same Vandal from the car picnic. You look at each other for a moment, intently, your boyfriend stares at you in surprise but you don't pay much attention to him anymore.

"I would use that ride now." You tell him and throw the cigarette on the road. Your boyfriend shouts something at you but you completely ignore him, staring at the Vandal in front of you.

"I thought you had a boyfriend." He says, sending you his mischievous glare. You shake your head with a small smile.

"Not anymore." You say while looking at your now ex-boyfriend.

"What the hell, Y/N?! You're really going to go with that outcast and leave me here? I'm the hottest catch in town, and you know it damn well!"

"No, no, no. I AM the hottest catch in town, honey." You correct him and grab your bag from his car. You walk over to Benny's bike and sit behind it, rolling your dress up to your thighs so as not to give anyone a show. "Have fun with your ego. God knows you two will be just fine pushing this junk through. You could always drop your pants and try to catch some desperate old lady to give you a ride. Although with your calibre it'll sooner be some guy." You wave at him as Benny gasps his bike and accelerates with a screech of tires, leaving your ex far behind.

You scream and grab the biker by his jacket, unprepared for such a fast ride. You dig your nails into his muscular torso and cling to his back, riding a bike for the first time.

Benny is in heaven. Your perfume is carried by the wind, making the ride on his bike even more enjoyable.

You press your front against his back, so he can feel every delicious curve of yours. And the way you dig your fingers into him makes his mind wander to other situations you could be doing this in. And this, surprisingly, seems much more enjoyable than riding his bike completely alone.

You rest your cheek against his back and gaze at the scenery around you. Benny is racing so fast you can barely see anything but him, your heart is beating wildly and a strange feeling of excitement inside you makes you wish he would never make it to town, but would just race you through the cornfields.

At some point, however, your ride ends. Benny parks outside the Vandals' bar and waits patiently for you to get off his bike and let him go. Although he is not at all pleased that your hands are leaving his body.

"Thanks. If not you, I would stick with that asshole." You say, and he leans against the wall of the building. He slides you one of his cigarettes, but you shake your head and take yours out of your purse. "How much do I own you?" Benny frowns at your question and stares at you as you wait for his answer, already looking for the money for him.

"I don't want your dad's money." He surprises you again. You stop all your movements and blink a few times, almost dropping the cigarette from between your lips.

"But... for gasoline..."

Benny simply shrugs as you continue to process the fact that he really doesn't want anything from you. There had to be some hidden meaning to it. There always was. Everyone wanted something from you, there was no selflessness in hanging out with you. It shouldn't be any different with this Vandal.

"My bike, my petrol."

"You drove me halfway across town and off the fucking highway. That's a lot of petrol. I insist." You say, practically shoving the money into his pocket. But Benny pulls away and grabs your wrist, before you can pay him for this little ride.

You swallow as his thumb lazily strokes your skin, bypassing the gold bracelets on your wrists to caress your skin instead of the expensive metal.

"If you care so much, you can buy me a drink, little shrew, because I won't take any money from you." Benny mumbles hoarsely and reluctantly lets go of your wrist. Before you can respond, he's already heading to the bar.

With no other option, you sigh and follow the Vandal to the bar. You try to avoid the ripped, fat men and follow Benny like a shadow, hoping that none of them will bother you.

The atmosphere of the club is thick, you can almost feel the cloud of testosterone in the air, piercing through the smell of cigarettes and strong alcohol. A real den. You've never been in a place like this. And with man like him.

"Two beers." Benny nods at the bartender. He hands you both your drinks and you quickly put your money on the table. Benny puts his arm around yours and, holding your drinks in both hands, leads you to a less crowded part of the club.

Benny's arm around yours makes you feel a little safer and more comfortable in the sea of ​​tattooed men. Some whistle at the two of you but you follow Benny's example and ignore them, trying to focus on the man who was leading you.

Benny was different from most guys you knew. Most of them couldn't change a tire on their own car, hadn't dirty their hands with hard work, and basked in their families' fortunes.

Benny was the definition of masculinity, danger, and self-sufficiency. He was something new, exciting, titillating. Every good little rich girl's wet dream. And maybe if you were younger and more naive, you would have fallen into his arms and let him destroy you completely to his own liking. But you knew all too well how guys like him behaved. And even though Benny drew you like a moth to a flame, you preferred to keep your distance from him and any trouble he could bring. Or at least you tried hard to.

"Why are you doing this?" You ask him, getting straight to the point as you sit down at the table.

"Doing what?" He asks, sipping his beer. He looks at you like you're the only interesting thing in the world. And as much as his intense gaze sends a pleasant tingle through you, you're afraid you won't be able to resist him for long.

"This. Don't look at me like this." You say, swallowing hard. Goosebumps rise on your skin as Benny pulls his chair closer to yours, leaving only a mere centimetres between you and you can smell his scent mixed with grease, cigarettes, and the wind from the fast ride.

"Like that?" He asks innocently, resting his hands on the back of the chair and flexing his muscles.

He sips his beer, wrapping his full lips around the neck of the bottle and his gaze never leaving yours for a second. You clench your thighs and shift in your chair, embarrassed by the effect he has on you.

"Benny! Will you introduce me to your company?" With a small sigh of relief, you turn to the man who interrupted you. Benny is slouched and sulking in his chair, furious at Johnny for interrupting him when everything was going his way.

"Johnny. Club leader. Y/N. My girlfriend."

"I am not your girlfriend." You snap at him, turning your angry gaze at him. And that bastard just smiles sweetly and shrugs.

"I'm sorry. My little shrew." He corrects himself with a sly smile. You narrow your eyes at him, wanting to punch him in that smug face of his, but then his Johnny starts talking to you.

You sit in the club for a moment longer and then go to their phone to call someone from your residence to come pick you up. Once you have all the details sorted out, you don't go back to the table, you just run straight for the exit.

Unfortunately for you, Benny is very attentive.

"Stop, kid." Johnny says and gently pushes Benny into a chair. "She's not the girl for you. Better let her go and forget about it. Girls like her don't fit in with people like us."

"The first time that I saw her, I knew I wanted her badly. Nobody will stop me, Johnny. Not even her. I've already made up my mind. The dominoes cascading in the line." Benny answers confidently and runs after you.

He leaves the bar and looks around. He sees you walking far down the street, turning a corner out of his field of vision. He gets on his bike and starts it faster than ever and follows in your footsteps.

He was so close to making you care even a little as much as he did, and he wasn't going to stop now that he had you practically within reach. Benny knew that if he let you go now, all his efforts would be for nothing. And he wasn't going to start from scratch with you. His engine roars furiously beneath him as he chases after you. He smiles to himself when he sees you waiting outside one of your father's stores and pulls up to you. He stops right in front of you and doesn't turn off his engine. He doesn't look at you, just ahead on the road, waiting for your next move.

Benny hopes he doesn't show how stressed he is about what you're about to do, how impatiently he waits in the cold, deafening silence.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" You ask him, shoving your hands into your pockets. Benny sees you twitch slightly out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm waiting for you to get in." He replies calmly, taking his hands off the handles of his bike to rest his elbows on his thighs. You raise an eyebrow at him, wrapping your hand around the keys you carry in your pocket. Just in case. After all, you didn’t know that guy.

"I have no intention of doing so." You talk tough. But Benny is just as stubborn, if not more so. He won't let you off the hook that easily.

"Then I'll wait until your driver comes to pick you up and then I'll follow you to your house."

"You are lying. You can't do that. That's fucking stalking. And from what I know, you already have enough problems with the police."

"So you're interested in me after all, princess?" He gives you a dirty, wolfish grin and a wink, making your heart race. You find your reaction very pathetic, but you can't control yourself at all when this ridiculously handsome Vandal is flirting with you and doing things like this. He's a little unsettling, but also very exciting. No guy has ever wanted you as much or shown as much interest in you as this one. "Test me." He challenges you and calmly pulls out a cigarette to light it. The bike beneath him continues to roar furiously as he awaits your decision.

"Why are you doing this?" You ask, narrowing your eyes at him suspiciously. “You don’t want my money, but you follow me around like a lost puppy. What’s your problem, man?”

"You." He mumbles in that sinful raspy voice of his, staring at you as if he was tearing your soul apart. You swallow, trying to avoid his intense gaze.

"And what about me?"

"I fancy you." He shrugs like it’s an obvious thing to state. You stiffen as he dismounts his bike and walks over to you. You take a few steps back, gasping as your bare back hits the brick wall behind you.

"Me?"

"Uh-huh." He purrs and leans toward you. You hold your breath in some strange form of anticipation as you stare at him and wait for his next move.

A shiver runs through you as his fingertips brush your cheek. He caresses your red-hot skin, stands close to you, inhales your scent, and acts as if he's doing nothing out of the ordinary, as if being this close is proper and normal.

"I think about you. Often. When I am on the road. And I wish that you could sit behind me and hold on to me as we both race with the wind."

It's such a trite line. The one he probably fooled a lot of girls with. But God, how can you think logically when he's standing so close to you and telling you things that every girl dreams a guy will tell her?

"You'll take me home or what?" You ask, swallowing, trying to hold on to the last bit of control you have as his hand lazily brushes your jaw, tracing a line along your neck and stopping at your shoulder.

His hand is large. Warm. Rough but comfortable. His fingers dig into you, the cool metal of his rings calming you down a little. But your heart is still beating wildly, wanting to break free and give itself to the man before you. Even though he was a huge pain in the ass.

"Get in, little shrew." He says and nods to his bike. Not trusting your legs too much, you take small steps and carefully place yourself on his bike.

You shiver when he suddenly puts his warm Vandal jacket on you. You accept the cover without looking at him and put it on yourself. You almost moan as his warmth and scent envelop you, and his large, threadbare, grease-smeared jacket suddenly becomes the only one you ever want to wear.

Benny climbs onto his bike. He starts it, the engine humming and shuddering beneath you, but Benny doesn't move yet. You frown, wondering what he's waiting for. You quickly get your cue when he reaches behind your hands and wraps them around his torso. You blush, feeling his abs much better now that he's wearing just a black T-shirt.

"Harder, princess. I'll go fast." That's the only warning you get before he starts the engine. You scream and grab him hard, practically digging your nails into him. And Benny just laughs at it. Or at least that's what you gather from the way he trembles under your hands.

Because of the speed you're going, you arrive at your gate pretty quickly. The security guards stare at you in shock, but only for a moment before they return to their professional demeanor. They let you through, and Benny parks right under the steps to your entrance. You thank God your dad is away on business and won't see you riding Vandal's bike.

You get off your bike and stand there stupidly next to Benny wondering what the hell you're going to do with him now. Will he get bored and ride off? Or will he wait outside your house? Or will he want to come inside?

"Will you ever get the fuck away from me?" You ask him angrily, not knowing what to do.

"Is this what you really want?" Benny asks calmly and lights his cigarette.

You don't answer that. Somehow this Vandal became.. close to you. You don't want him to go anywhere, to leave you alone. Somehow it was exciting to run into him from time to time. But he wanted more...

"I won't date you. My dad would kill me if he saw me with one of you. Or disinherited and thrown out of the house." You tell him right away, hoping that he'll get bored and leave you alone. Because you can't tell him to fuck off anymore. You can't seem to get it out of your throat and sound sincere.

"Then it's a good thing I don't want you to date me." You try to keep a straight face at his words. You nod and turn to go home, probably get drunk and try to forget about those damn striking blue eyes. But then Benny's scream stops you. "You will marry me, princess!"

An involuntary smile forms on your lips, and that familiar, pleasant excitement returns. He really wants to race and play this game with you. Somehow, it seems much more enjoyable than the advances of those rich assholes. This one really tried and put an effort in chasing you.

"Not even in your wildest dreams, biker-boy!" You shout over your shoulder and go to your house.

Benny stands by your door for a moment longer. He finishes his cigarette and watches the lights in your house blink. Once he figures out which window is yours, he smiles at himself and starts his engine.

The real game has begun.

"Oh my God, how romantic!" Your hairdresser squeals above you, glancing over her shoulder every now and then to watch Benny lean against his bike, smoking a cigarette, watching you through the window, waiting for you to finish your hair appointment.

"Rather frustrating." You comment without taking your eyes off your reflection in the mirror as your hairdresser does your hair.

"Honey, do you know how many women come here? And do you know how many men wait of their own free will for them to leave while we finish doing their hair? NONE. And that handsome guy on the bike... get after him before one of us grabs him in our claws."

You roll your eyes at her words and light a cigarette, trying to push down the ugly feeling of jealousy at the thought of some hag riding your Vandal's bike and hugging him from behind like you do.

Not. Fucking. Happening.

"As if I cared." You mumble and let her finish your hair.

You pay her and chat for a while at the cash register when out of the corner of your eye you notice Benny, who is still leaning on his bike and waiting outside the hair salon for you to come out, now talking to some girl.

You say goodbye to your hairdresser and leave. You walk closer to the two of them and your anger flares when you hear the other girl flirting with him.

"So... do you have a girlfriend?"

"I don't know... do I, princess?" Benny shifts his gaze from her to you and raises an eyebrow, smiling stupidly and maliciously when he sees the fury written all over your face.

Without a word, you get on his bike and wait for him to join you. Benny quickly abandons the girl he was talking to earlier and starts the engine.

You dig your fingers into him a little more painfully than usual and press your body against his. You rest your cheek against his back and give the other woman a warning look, marking your territory.

Luckily Benny doesn't see it. He drives ahead with you in the back and only then do you realize your stupidity. You let him take you wherever he wanted just because you had to point out that he was yours. He wasn't yours, but...

"Here we are." He pulls you out of your thoughts. It's only because of him that you realize he took you out of town to one of the infamous Vandal picnics.

Your dad will kill you if he finds out.

You feel a little out of place in your white mini skirt among all the bikers and their women in leatger jackets, but Benny doesn't care that you don't fit in with his company with your Chanel bag.

He takes your hand and pulls you closer to the fire. A few people whistle behind you, and you involuntarily move closer to Benny, seeking safety. Seeing this, he puts his arm around you and pulls you into his side. And you wonder why the hell you're letting him drag you like a rag doll.

Benny sits on a log and waits for you to join him. You decide to sit on his lap since you don't want to get your skirt dirty on the branch of wood.

"Don't think too much about it." You mumble at him and he just smiles evilly, feigning innocence.

"I would never dare."

You spend the evening with the bikers, listening and laughing at their stories, sitting on Benny's lap. A few of them called you Benny's girlfriend and you didn't feel like correcting them. Besides, it would be hard to explain your relationship… you don't know exactly what it is that connects you with the biker.

You think about it as you ride cuddled up to Benny on his bike again. The night air hits the two of you, and you're glad you're wearing Vandal's jacket. You sigh, thinking about how over the past few days he's changed your routine and crept into your life, like a thief taking away bits of your time until you practically spent the whole day with him. And surprisingly, it didn't bother you one bit.

It's only when you stop that you notice that Benny hasn't been driving you home. Instead, you're on the outskirts of town, near a small forest. You breathe in the fresh night air and look at the stars above you.

Benny moves on his bike so you can lean against his chest. He envelops you in the embrace of his strong, tattooed arms and rests his nose against your hair, sighing your scent. You sit there for a moment in blissful silence, listening to each other's breathing and the sounds of nature. You've never known such blissful silence as with Benny.

"You enjoyed today." He states, doesn't ask.

You know him well enough now that you know he's been watching you closely all night, and your every little reaction to his Vandal family. And he was right, you quite liked it. But spending one evening like that, and all of your potential life with Benny, is a big difference. And you don't know if you'll be able to keep up with his crazy life, since you've been accustomed since you were a child to having the best comforts and living in complete safety and control.

"I did." You reply, lazily tracing patterns with your finger on his arm. You almost giggle when you see the hairs on his arms stand up in response to your touch. "But I still won't be your girlfriend."

"And I think I've already told you that I want a wife, not a girlfriend."

"You hardly know me." You adopt a new tactic, trying at all costs to dissuade him from this idea, to prove that you do not belong together at all.

"I know enough to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. The moment I saw you, I knew I wanted you. And when I get to know you and your character, I realized that we are meant for each other."

The way he looks at you now, his closeness, the warmth, the smell of cigarette smoke and the beer he's been drinking make it hard to think straight. Especially when he's practically opening all his cards to you.

"I hardly know you." You mumble in shock, prepared for the fact that someone might actually care more about you, that someone is chasing you and not your dad's money, that someone wants you and not the privilages of your last name.

"You will have time for getting to know me, princess. Besides... I think you know about me much more than you are willing to admit to yourself."

You swallow hardly. Benny's hand plays with the button on his jacket that you're currently wearing. You sigh as his fingers dig into your hips, pulling you closer to him. His fingers travel under your shirt, and you bite your lip hard, holding back a moan as you feel his cool, long fingers on the heated skin of your stomach.

"My dad will kill you." You mumble in warning, not really paying attention to it yourself now as his roving hand gently caresses the skin of your stomach and brushes teasingly over the material of your bra.

"I'm stronger than you think, little shrew." In proof, he tightens his grip around you. You sigh slightly, biting your tongue hard to keep from moaning his name as his hand cups your clothed breast. "Nothing can stop me… unless you really don't want me." He whispers hoarsely in your ear and presses his lips to your temple.

It is both a warning and a promise. He can leave you alone, but you must reckon with the consequences. You know that a man like him leaves with the first goodbye, with the first sign that he is an undesirable element in your life. But what can you do when he pulls away from you, stops rubbing your breast teasingly, and gets off his bike, depriving you of his warmth and the strong embrace with which he protected you from the outside world? How can you reject him once again?

You have not such strength in yourself. You are already glad that you lasted that long with turning him down and didn't give in to him at the very first meeting, when he came to you and lit up your cigarette.

"I can't just marry you. It hasn't even been a month since we first met." You remind him and yourself, but you feel that along with his hot, intense gaze on you, any remnants of your common sense are melting away.

You want him. No matter who disagrees with it or how people react to it, you feel that you can no longer live without him in your life. He was everything you never had. Freedom, wildness, passion, boundless, sick love that makes you swallow you whole, and you are able to do stupid, irrational things. And you want all of it. Even if you have to sell all your nice things and walk around covered in grease and gasoline like him.

And that was a big declaration coming from a rich, spoiled daddy's little girl like you.

"Sometimes you just see and know. You can't say you don't feel it, princess. You're meant to be mine. You know it." After his words, silence falls between you. You are in a kind of staring contest, since you try to endure his deep look.

You feel that you are slowly losing control, that your life is slipping away in a completely new, unknown direction, and honestly, you do not want to turn back for a moment. But your parents raised a cautious girl.

"We are making a prenuptial agreement." Benny snorts with laughter but nods, obediently agreeing to your terms.

"I've told you before, I want you, not your money, but fine. If that makes you feel safe, fine, we will sign one." You stare at him in deafening silence, unable to believe that this was really happening, that he was really running after you just to have you, to be his. You. Not your parents' money, not the expensive things you could buy him, not the job you could offer him at your father's company. Just you. It's just you.

"You are crazy." You laugh in disbelief. His jacket wraps around you snugly, providing comfort from the cold night wind that ruffles Benny's hair, making you want to run your hand through it yourself and see if it's as soft as it looks.

"You're crazy too. You finally agree." He says with a small smile, and you blush.

You roll your eyes and shift your gaze to the forest beside us. Benny won't be having this. He steps up to you and takes your chin between two fingers, forcing you to look at him again. You swallow, your gaze travelling from his eyes to his plush lips.

"I want a ring. And fancy motorcycle's wedding. With the cans attached to your bike and everything."

"Deal." He whispers back and cups your cheek in his hand. His thumb strokes your skin, his touch searing, igniting a flame of desire so great within you that you wonder how the hell you could have lived without knowing such a feeling.

"And I want to settle down someday and have real house, family and so on."

"Okay." He mumbles and presses a kiss to your other cheek. You sigh shakily, grabbing his bike with all your might to keep from tearfully and desperately digging your fingers into Benny and pulling him closer to you. You're fucking trembling, and the guy hasn't even touched you properly.

"Seriosuly? You are going to do so and agrree just like that?"

"I told you. I want you. I will do everything to have you."

You envy the calmness in his gaze and actions as he lazily presses kisses across your face. Cheek, temple, forehead, nose, other cheek, the edge of your jaw… anywhere but your damn lips.

"You didn't even kiss me yet." You remind him angrily, and Benny can only chuckle deeply at your indignation. He tugs a strand of your hair back and takes a step towards you, standing between your spread legs as you remain on his bike.

"A mistake I intend to fix." He mumbles, and finally, after many years, centuries, enoahs, of waiting, he presses his lips to yours.

You sigh, grabbing him by his shirt and balling the material into a fist, pulling him closer to you. His lips move in such a wonderful way, caressing yours, tasting you intently as if he’s trying to memorize the shape of your mouth, every little gasp at his caresses, and everything about you.

His touch is electric. It fires up every neurone in you, turning you into a whining, needy little mess as his tongue connects with yours in a mad dance. You stop caring about anything in the world, just being as close to him as possible; that's all that matters; all that matters is Benny. You break the kiss only to have him angrily rip his shirt off of him, and you quickly silence any attempts he makes to mock you and your haste by capturing his lips in another bruising kiss as you explored his muscular torso that you've been clinged to so many times while riding his bike.

Your thinking goes out the window when all you can feel and worry about is Benny.

Benny presses you against his bike and deepens the kiss as you moan into his mouth, feeling every muscle of his against your body. He practically rips your shirt and bra off of you, leaving you in nothing but his Vandal's jacket as he trails his kisses from your jaw, neck and collarbone to your chest.

You tangled your hand in his hair, pulling him as close to you as possible, and it made Benny feel like he was in heaven. You wanted him as desperately as he wanted you, and Benny was going to give you exactly what you wanted and needed.

Benny smiles against your silky skin as he leaves his marks on you. He had managed to do exactly what he had planned. And he was extremely happy about it.

And with your soft moan and the clumsy, quick fumbling with the waistband of his pants, he only has one thought on his mind.

Checkmate. Benny couldn't lose.

And now you are only his.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

To clarify,I don't believe in porn makes you evil and I don't believe in like fantasies are evil. I'm pulling this quote off Scarleteen "“If we aren’t both careful and creative we can get stuck in fantasies that don’t mature and politicize with us."" I'm also new to being about to vote, so I'm trying to be careful about what I consume and what stereotypes media perpetuate. Like I'm not moralizing about kink or anything, and my ask was how can I get aroused with media wo my kinks or wo media

hi anon, welcome back! I'm genuinely very glad to hear some follow up.

for anybody who doesn't stay vigorously up to date with all of my anons, this ask is a continuation of this one.

so I went and checked out the Scarleteen articles you mentioned in your first message, or at least I tried to. How to Approach Sexual Fantasies and Desire on Your Own Terms is here, and while I couldn't find anything with the exact title 50 Shades of Abuse, we do have 50 Shades of BS - How to Tell the Difference Between Kink and Abuse as well as 50 Shades Crappier: On Selling Abuse for Valentine's Day, both of which cover how the 50 Shades series isn't a great model of real, responsibly-practiced BDSM.

now, here's what I didn't see in any of these articles: an assertion that anybody needs to, as you've decided to do, avoid any work that depicts anything less than perfectly healthy sexual practices.

the closest we get to that is the quote by adrienne maree brown from How to Approach Sexual Fantasies, which you mention above. now, here's the thing: first of all, I actually disagree pretty substantially with brown's assertions that one's sexual fantasies need to "politicize." I know what my politics are; the fiction that I enjoy can't change that, because I don't have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. I actually just talked about that earlier today in another ask.

(also, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but adrienne maree brown is kind of a dork who doesn't really say much of anything in Pleasure Activism that Audre Lorde didn't already say better and more succinctly, and I personally lost interest in Pleasure Activism pretty much the moment she casually dropped that she practices reiki healing because that's a pseudoscientific alternative medicine that doesn't do shit or fuck. but I digress.)

listen, I'm not trying to peer pressure or bully you into watching anything you don't want to watch. your porn consumption is up to you. but what you're doing here is absolutely moralizing, I think maybe because of an underlying assumption that media that involves sex is just, like, innately different than any other type of media, which is in itself an idea that stems from sex negativity!

I don't know, let's just try to play out a little thought exercise here. like, would you consider it reasonable if somebody told you that they've decided not to read or watch anything that depicts problematic behavior because they don't want to normalize it. like, first of all, they're never watching anything but Bluey again. except actually not even Bluey because I just remembered about Bluey in the genocide, which actually makes for a great illustration of how nonsensical and impossible it is to try to only engage with media that is 100% ideologically pure.

and again: that's fine! that's literally fine! it is 100% okay to watch or read or play things with morals that don't totally 100% align with yours. it's okay to enjoy them, even. it's a lot healthier than trying to avoid upsetting or incongruous things entirely, because that gives you the chance to actually think about it rather than trying to shut it out entirely! that article actually provides an entire list of questions you can run through with yourself to critically analyze the things you watch if you feel so inclined! that's a much better skill to practice than avoidance!

I get that when you're new to sex, as you said in the previous ask, this might seem daunting, but your brain isn't just a sponge that will uncritically soak up and adopt anything you expose it to. you very clearly have the ability to research, differentiate between fiction and real life, and form your own opinions! and it is absolutely fine if you want to just watch porn with your kinks!

like, listen, I see what the question is, and the easiest answer is just. do whatever gets you off.

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P22 | you shut up

You and Mark got off at your bus stop. Mark honestly didn't mean to but he had accidentally snooped on what you were doing on your phone and saw you tweeting agonising over being mistaken as his girlfriend. It was nobody's fault, it was just how those aunties and uncles operated, and both of you were wearing matching cardigans, but somehow he felt a little offended disheartened that you were agonising over it.

As you walked to New Axis, Mark watched as you kick off rocks with your head down, looking deep in thought.

"You know, you didn't have to give out disclaimers that we weren't dating." You spoke out suddenly, and Mark rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I wouldn't even bother giving those disclaimers if you hadn't tweeted how you were going crazy on being mistaken as my girlfriend." Mark scoffed and walked past you, even having the gall to bump your shoulder but only because he knew you wouldn't take it personally.

"HEY! I tweeted that on my private account. You—" you let out a breathless laugh, out of pure disbelief, "—just 'cause you're a good head taller than me now, Mark, it doesn't give you the right to snoop over my shoulder. Jeez, did being shorter than me back then gave you a complex or something?"

He stopped walking and whipped his head around to look at you, "We were the same height back then, you little shit."

You pulled a face and raised your arms, "Okay, Mark. If that's what you want to believe—go ahead."

He rolled his eyes again, "Oh, shut up."

"You shut up." You huffed out.

There you both walked into New Axis, and you then realised you weren't fighting before, but you were bickering. Just like the old times. Mark even referenced to a time when you both had been close before during your bickering. However, when you realised Mark wasn't ahead of you anymore, you turned your head around to see where he went.

When you finally see him, you noticed that he was frozen behind you, one hand holding his phone out, eyes wide and fixated on something that was way past you. So you followed his line and vision to see what he was looking at so intently.

You froze like he did too, when you saw it was Yuno standing near the lobby's elevator, seething at the sight of you both—you assumed he had seen Mark and you enter the lobby together. You glanced down at your cardigan and looked back at Mark, feeling the same kind of horror taking grip of your heart that also had Mark still pinned in his spot.

You were wearing matching cardigans.

Before you realised it, Yuno had already stood between you and Mark, looking back and forth between you.

"I can explain—" You uttered out, but Yuno was quick to shut you down. He snapped his head to look at you, pointing a finger at your face.

"I don't want to hear one from you, I want to hear it from him. Minhyung, are you going behind my back?"

You clamped your mouth shut, feeling an indescribable kind of sting hit your chest with the way he addressed you, but you knew this was fully him and not the stoic bullshit he's been fronting on you since he moved in. You were a little glad he's at least displaying some kind of emotion in front of you, even if it was anger out of all other emotions.

"No, Jae. We're—we're working together for the MNA Week. She's a part of the Business Fac Committee and she's my partner for the Entrepreneurship Bureau. The cardigans is purely a coincidence." Mark gulped, seeing everyone else in the lobby weirded out with the tense atmosphere.

"Doesn't change the fact you didn't tell me about this sooner." Yuno stepped closer to Mark, and the younger man nodded in admission and defeat.

"It slipped my mind, dude. Honest. When I first mentioned this bureau stuff to you, I didn't bother mentioning she had been my partner because—" Mark stammered a bit, eyes meeting yours past Yuno's shoulder for a split second before looking back at his longtime friend, "—because I never wanted to have anything to do with her after it's done. I should've told you this after I set you up to move in with her though, that's on me."

Yuno sighed and rubbed his eyes, shoulders slumping and Mark took that as a cue that he could also relax now. Yuno gripped on both of his shoulders after he stepped back a bit, not smiling, but he wasn't stoic like before so it was all good for now.

"Let's go to that bar now, dude. I feel like there's a lot we need to catch up on." Yuno cracked out a smile that was barely there as he let out a breathless laugh, finding his anger and fear from before ridiculous and unfounded.

Yuno turned Mark around so they could walk out of the lobby together while you were left standing there, still frozen, and feeling like there were two pairs of feet walking all over your heart. You had snapped out of it when your phone suddenly rang. Seeing that it was Geonwoo, you picked it up right away as you took reign of your emotions again.

"Head down to the parking lot immediately. Lim Goyoung's loansharks finally left their property, and we're relocating them straight away."

You ran to the elevator.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hey, Gowoon!" You spoke cheerfully, squatting down to his height.

"I've missed you, big sis Y/N." He spoke with a dejected voice, moving to hug you.

You accepted the embrace straight away, and quickly turned it into carrying the 6-year-old in your arms as you stood up. You watched as his mother and your older brother figures flit across the bedroom of Lim Goyoung's house, packing her valuables and essentials into two big luggages.

"I don't want to move away, big sis. I'll miss my friends." Gowoon spoke in the crook of your neck, and you could feel his tears wetting your skin.

You pulled him away so you could wipe his tears away.

"You'll make new friends at your new home, buddy. You're so handsome and nice, so I'm sure all the kids at your new home would love to befriend you." You reassured him, moving your hand to stroke his hair after you had wiped away his tears.

Once they were done with the packing, you quickly moved and got into the truck as a unit. You had already assisted Goyoung in wiping away her digital footprint and data while she was busy packing, so the loansharks couldn't track her through the internet or social media.

As you got into the truck, sitting at the back with Goyoung and her son, one pair of eyes in the alley closely focused on you—only you.

Cha Yoonsu stepped out of the shadows, cursing your name because the truck didn't have any plate number displayed. Geonwoo and Woojin weren't dumb, they'd put it back once they're sure nobody's following them before a road camera could catch them.

But Yoonsu swore he'd track you down despite this minor setback. At least he now knew you were currently residing in Seoul.

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : so basically y/n's main gig under geonwoo and woojin is to assist them helping victims of loanshark scams 😔🫶🏻 im sorry if that had been obvious before this reveal

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

• taglist • [CLOSED]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @neozon3nha @herebyaccident0 @injunnie-lemon @mystverse @dearmonamour @v-6893 @sehunniepot @bee-the-loser @nessaassen02 @luluvhs @sunghoonsgfreal @docilismo @neocrashed @soobinbunnie5 @cigarettesafterjae @dudekiss3r @kittydollzz @urlocalbeaner5 @polarisjisung @conwunder @wonupuppy @jae-n0 @413ktz @kimsaerom @meowtella @aerivrs @swanyvess @morkleesgirl @sthwaaberry @leemoonna @grassbutneo @spicyryujin @koizekomi @sunflowerhae @markeroolee

[foreverlittlesoshi]

All Of Our Foolish Notions

noah sebastian x reader

content warnings: angst and cheating

word count - 1.7k

an ~ the beginning is heavily based off my personal life and something i've gone through recently so this was my way of letting go

The world felt like it was collapsing on you. A dream couldn’t have possibly led to this. no way. You couldn’t believe it. 

Maybe it was a little strange to go through someone’s phone over a dream but you couldn’t help it. The dream was too realistic and caused you to worry for a couple days before getting the bravery to check. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise because you had certain doubts about Sam and reading the messages just confirmed them.

I miss you, Kali

I miss you too, Sam.

How could he say that to her? Why would he say that to her? He always said she treated him so badly yet he’s putting in the effort to talk to her? Anger and betrayal ran hot through your veins but you couldn’t help but look further and sadly found more. Just what you wanted to see. An intimate video that was definitely not of you two and the date/timestamp was a couple months ago and just a day before your one year anniversary.

You quietly put his phone back down, carefully not to wake him up and just stared at him. It felt like a bigger slap in the face that he was sleeping so peacefully while you felt like your heart was being ripped apart. Choking back the sobs felt like pure hell but you didn’t want him to see you like this because it’s not like he would even care.

The energy to even stand up couldn’t process in your head so you crawled back to your side of the room and grabbed your phone, quietly crawling to the bathroom and locking the door. You only knew one person who could help you out in this situation and maybe it wasn’t the best to call another man but he was your best friend.

“Hey, are you okay? it’s 1 am.” His voice was too relaxing to hear though you felt bad because he sounded groggy.

“He’s been cheating on me. with his ex of all fuckin people, Noah.” Saying it felt like a bigger punch in the gut. 

“Hold on, what?” He said more clearly and wiping the tiredness from him.

“I-I had a dream the other night, i guess my subconscious trying to tell me something so i started to overthink but i didn’t ask because i didn’t want to start an argument and tonight i finally broke. I know i shouldn’t have but i went through his phone and saw-“ a painful sob left you, “he literally filmed them having sex just a day before our one year anniversary.” 

“I’m gonna fuckin kill -“ “No, please just help me get out of here. He’s not even awake. I just want to leave.” Begging him made you feel so small but you couldn’t help it. 

“I’ll be there soon.” 

“Thank you.”

-

When Noah arrived, it made you feel a little better though it still all felt like a big blur packing your things quickly, quietly and carefully to not wake up Sam. Maybe it was the power he had over you but you felt guilty, just leaving and not even leaving a message, note or anything. Just the key to his apartment on the coffee table and walking away from someone you spent a year of your life with. 

“This is stupid to ask but are you okay?” Noah asked as you tossed your bags into his car and you couldn’t help but chuckle weakly.

“I just feel really fuckin stupid. It doesn’t help this situation but i had already caught him in two lies about her before i found this out and i just made excuses for him. I thought the last time was the final straw but clearly not. The worst part is somehow i feel like i deserve this.” You confessed and could feel the anger rise again. 

“No, you fuckin don’t. Don’t ever say some stupid shit like that again. He’s an insecure stupid little prick who doesn’t even know that he just lost the best person ever.” Maybe he let his feelings out a bit but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stand the fact that you genuinely believed you deserved to get cheated on and treated like garbage.

“Let’s just go back to yours before i go back in there and punch him.” Saying as you headed to the passenger side.

Even while having your heart broken, you let your anger get the best of you and Noah couldn’t stop his heart from beating faster. He always thought it was cute.

-

The amount of crying you did exhausted you to the point you didn’t even feel Noah carrying you to his bed and tucking you in.

“Don’t leave me.” you mumbled to him.

“Just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable first.” He tells you as he crawls into the bed, you automatically cling onto him and let out a sigh of calmness. 

“I love you so much and thank you.” He shouldn’t have taken it too seriously but he couldn’t help it. It was killing him that you were going through this pain but he didn’t want to make it worse by confessing to you and messing with your mind/feelings more. 

“If only you knew.” You swore you heard him say but decided to not say anything and just fall asleep.

-

Getting back on your feet again wasn’t the hard part of getting over your last relationship, the hard part was realizing your feelings for Noah. You didn’t want to admit it though because you don’t want to make him feel like a rebound or taking advantage of him. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if he thought about himself that way.

Drinking wasn’t the right choice but you were so overwhelmed that you didn’t know what else to do and honestly, you didn’t mean to get too drunk either. You just wanted to stop thinking about everything so you could calm down though maybe going out with the whole group wasn’t helpful. 

“Are you ever going to confess to him?” Folio’s voice broke your thought process.

You didn’t want to answer him at first, instead downing another shot of tequila. 

“I’m just scared.”

He scoffed at your response, “Of what? It’s clear that he loves you.”

Noah’s words replayed in your head from that night, “If only you knew.” and the memory made the alcohol hit ten times harder. 

“I don’t want him to think of himself as a rebound. He’s too special to me. I love him but i don’t want to hurt him.” You could tell you were slurring your words but he still acknowledged what you were trying to say.

With the alcohol hitting hard, you couldn’t even tell if Folio said anything else. All you could think about was Noah and everything you two had been through. Seeing his hardships from a young age, letting him stay with you when you two were teenagers and your family treating him like their own, going to his local shows with his old band, the fallout, seeing him mature and grow while forming bad omens, his past flings, his breakdowns, his decision to cut his hair short after so many years and seeing bad omens blow up with just pretend and all the success they received. 

It hit you hard. You were in love with him. Maybe you always had been but just refused to accept it. You were there for him through everything and he was always there for you. Why didn’t he ever confess?  was the main question in your mind.

“Where is he?” you asked Folio.

“Outside with Jolly.” Once he told you, you tried to quickly stand up but stumbled. “Let me help you out.”

Folio helped you through the crowd, guiding you out the door and the cool air sobering you up just a tiny bit. 

“NOAH!” yelling his name immediately got his attention and he rushed over. 

“Are you okay? Did some-“ “She’s fine. Just drunk.” Folio warned him and Noah sighed with relief. You tried to hug him but you just fell into his chest bursting out into a giggling fit as he held onto you so you wouldn’t bust your ass on the ground. 

“I’ll take her home and I’ll text you guys later.” He said guiding you to his car, buckling you in and making sure you’re comfortable. The ride was quiet until you finally spoke up.

“Why haven’t you confessed to me yet?” 

He felt like his heart genuinely stopped for a moment. His throat dried up, his face became red and his stomach started hurting.

“I don’t want to have this conversation when you’re drunk.” his voice was stern which caused you to whine.

“I was just-“”I will not have this conversation when you’re drunk.” To be honest, he shocked you with how stern he was again and decided to drop it until you woke up the next morning.

-

The raging hungover headache woke you up though the blinding sun wasn’t helping it and trying to remember the night hurt your head more. 

“Here.” Noah said startling you while holding some ibuprofen and a glass of water. Quickly downing both and thanking him.

“Why didn’t you ever confess to me?” You ask him finally sober. Seeing him squirm from the question surprised you. Did Folio lie to you? 

“I was just scared of you rejecting me and leaving.” he confessed avoiding your eyes.

“Noah,” your heart was feeling like it was going to explode, “It may have taken me a lot longer than you to realize my feelings but i do love you and i always have.”

“Really?” His timid voice made your heart hurt. 

“Absolutely.” you reached for his hand, it felt so clammy yet still so soft and kissed his hand softly, “I love you Noah.”

“I’ve always loved you and i always will. I love you, more than you will ever know.” He felt relief after so many years of hiding this secret from you. “Can i kiss you?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, “Of course.”

Soft lips met yours, the kiss just felt right and like it was meant to be. You couldn’t help but feel bad for not realizing your feelings sooner than later and putting him through hell. 

When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours and cupped your cheeks as he asked, “Will you finally be mine?”

“Absolutely Noah.” 

title comes from Lucky Ones by LIGHTS

[romeave]

the real reason why mcd zane sucks, from purely a writing standpoint, is that the writers really want him to be a pure evil villian. a force of evil that can not be reasoned with or stopped. absolutely nuance free and unsympathetic no matter how you slice and dice it.

which, would normally be fine, but is a weird choice for zane specifically because the writers keep naturally bringing up ways to give him depth, only to bend over backwards to shut it down once they remember zane is supposed to be cardboard flat for their kid audience to remember he's the bad guy.

and by all the time i do mean all the time. here is a list of roads blocked off by the no development tree that fell across the road:

Zane grew up isolated even by the standards of noble children, as heirs to the O'khasis throne start their training rather young, and, according to accounts about his childhood, Zane preferred to spend his free time alone as opposed to with family. At some point, his father contracted some illness that turns people into asshole tyrants, and began to groom a very impressionable Zane into a good and obedient pawn for him to control on his quest for world domination -> Zane was actually always evil from birth, which makes him immune to trauma. Garte's dickheadness actually only affected the "good" Ro'Meaves, and actually it's Zane's influence that turned Garte into a bad person. Even shit that Garte did long after Zane died are Zane's fault by proxy.

Zane's strained relationship with his brothers are also largely attributed to Zane being evil. Honestly there's a lot I could put here but the most damning one is probably the fact that Zane isn't allowed to talk about his upbringing at all after vaguely mentioning having a dead brother on the docks.

Zane's initially introduced as an ambitious young priest who came to power due to his commitment to his studies. He secretly uses taboo ancient magic that people can't exactly come across if they don't have an obsessive drive to learn about the divines beyond the church's teachings. -> Actually Zane stole everything from "real scholars" and never actually cared about his research outside of what power it could bring him. Apparently he can't even read for himself without a "real scholar" in the room.

Zane's most terrible deeds (Kiki's pendant, Alexis, Falconclaw) were committed in service of opening the Irene dimension. Its implied that some, if not all of the specific deeds needed to open the portal were decided long before Zane ever got his hands on the amulets. -> Each portal-opening crime is treated as its own separate crime, motivated purely by sadism. Falconclaw specifically is referred to as a "horrific mass slaughter Zane had a lot of fun committing", even though everyone involved just painlessly fell over dead

Zane only raises a sword to people to have actively betrayed him. Jeffory betrayed him, the Wolf Tribe was plotting to eat him the next time he showed up, and Garroth committed treason two seperate times and shoved his own sword in Zane's face before Zane tried to kill him about it -> Evidence that Zane is just a bloodthristy killer who would kill his comrades unprompted. His victims are not traitors, but martyrs to his unreasonable wrath

Zane possessed the protector's relic for a period of time. Surely he must've had some reason to hold it -> Zane was entirely undeserving of the relic. He only had it because blood relations.

Despite already having a relic, Zane wants to get Irene's relic -> Exclusively to hoard power! No personal reasons or family reasons or nerd reasons. Just an insanely dangerous and high stakes task done solely to have them all. Like its a pokemon with life steal.

Zane gets turned into a Shadow Knight. Zane used to have an absurd amount of knowledge on the Shadow Knights, lots of shadow knights hate his gay ass, becoming a Shadow Knight is usually pretty traumati--> Zane doesn't feel trauma, duh!! He's actually stronger than ever.

And I know I'm aphblr's foremost Zane dick rider but this isn't a Zane did nothing wrong post its just bad writing. Zane's actions affect so much of the plot its fucking bonkers to give him the depth of an evil sheet of printer paper. Aph's usually pretty good at fleshing out her villians I don't know why the one guy who everyone and their mother has a connection to is just a knife roomba of a man. At the bare minimum he should've been as fleshed out as his brothers because then it'd be a tragic tale about a family being torn apart by a system they benefit from instead of a karma-farming AITAH post set in medival times.

[imwetforyourmom]

FADING AS THE SONG GOES.

CW: Angst, unresolved angst?, breaking up, crying, drugs and shit, hanging around the wrong crowd, !!!!DO NOT DO DRUGS!!!! very bad drugs

SUMMARY: Of course chris noticed when you werent okay, he was your boyfriend afterall.

A/N: I have no idea how drugs work, so bear w me here

·˚ ༘

“Its okay, to not be okay, my love.”

The secret was out before it was even whispered to your own mind. It was no secret why you came home with bloodshot eyes, rasped voice, drug smelling breath, the scent too strong, even when you chewed mint gum eight times before coming home, it was still there. Everyone knew what you were doing.

You never received the adrenaline pumping through your blood from keeping such a ‘thrilling’ secret. And, as much as you told yourself, the adrenaline that was once hoped for, wasn’t why you started. It was never even a thought to begin with, that was just what you told people when they curiously asked, and not for the fake bullshit, the real reason why. But why would you tell them the truth? You didnt owe them that.

On the other hand, you owed your boyfriend the truth. You owed him the spilling of your guts, the reeling truth of why you’d begun. But, the guilt swimming down your lungs, stealing your choice of freed breathing, choking you, was why you chose not to. The silent cries, pleas and begs from the little voices inside your head did little to convince you to stop, but they didnt do nothing either. Thats why you’d shoved them into the crevices of your mind, mangled within the rest of your innocence. You knew Chris’ begging voice would do everything to tell you to stop, another reason you never told him. You didnt want to stop.

The radioactive chemicals that filled your body was too addicting to quit, the pure high you felt was strong enough to hold you in its grasp, shove you around and control you. You, too delirious with how good it felt to have the drug pumping through you, to even try and claw your way out. To even try and think about stopping, because when even the slight thought of quitting sent not shivers down your spine, but the crackling of each bone in the drugs grasp went down your spine.

Not even the warmth seeping from Chris’ body when he held you was as good as the high you experienced. Chris would never amount to the drugs, (he controls the guilt). As much as you loved the boy, you loved the intoxicating taste of drugs more. The more you came home late, the more your body ached with the need to feed it more, to give it that beautiful, delicious, ‘at peace’ moments. The more your eyes sunk in, the more your laughter escaped your body, hanging with your ‘friends’. Little did you know, you would’ve actually despised these people if you werent high off your ass everytime you hung out with them. Your little buddies were never people you’d even think about hanging out with, they’d bring that sick feeling of nausea in your stomach when sober. But you weren’t sober. The more you lost yourself, the more Chris was left sat on the bed, watching as the door shut, the peek of little light falling from his lane of vision as it closed comepletely. Why were you leaving him in the dark, there to slouch his shoulders, rest his head in his hands as his thoughts became too heavy?

Gosh, why couldn’t you just fucking stop. What was wrong with you? What was so fucking messed up in your already fucked up head that you chose drugs over your own boyfriend?

In the otherwise silent room, the brush of a foot pushed against the creaky floorboards, you didnt look up. Too ashamed to meet the eye of what you’d hoped, Chris’ hopeful gaze.

“Y/n?” Chris’ voice interrupted the sudden crowding of your own mind, the thoughts all swarming like a crowd of people at a concert, no other reason except to move.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Answer him you asshole!

Your voice tangled within the confines of your closing throat, making it harder for you to speak. Your eyes moved quickly to Chris’, despite the slow bobbing of your head falling backwards.

With a strained effort to speak, you answered. “Yes?” Your eyes looked up to meet his, the almost pitch black room normally lit up with only his pure presense, but it didnt. It only saddened the tension mingling in the air.

His face was sympathetic. Fuck. All the guilt rushed up to the surface, filling your body and taking it whole, that your eyes begged to release the guilt. It began to become harder to hold the tears back, even with only two words uttered, shoved into the atmosphere.

His adams apple bopped downwards as he swallowed, his hands coming to his lower abdomen as they connected, fidgeting nervously like a child in trouble. The eye contact he held began faltering, his lips twitching to speak.

“A- Are you okay?” His hands dropped, his chest rising with a sudden quick inhale, maybe the air was thick with confidence, for him, at least. You felt as if the air was so thick with awkward tension you couldn’t breathe.

The swarming crowds in your mind disappeared, vanishing into the dusty air of your mind. Leaving you to sit, rocking back and forth, holding your head in your hands, too occupied with thinking of a reply to his question to actually answer his question, either the truth, or a lie. He knows the truth either way, you knew that. But you didn’t feel comfortable enough to admit that you werent okay, it itched your throat with nausea.

Chris’ eyebrows creased in remorse. His lips slipping to a frown as the air around them began swishing, sloshing with each movement made. He swallowed his previous longing for an answer to everything, instead, he moved his feet, the thick air begrudgingly moving along with him as he sat down, side by side with you.

His arm slid to your shoulder, pulling you close to him as he breathed in and out, slouched and sitting there, holding you against him as he prepared himself for the conversation he was intending to have with you.

“Its okay, to not be okay, my love.” He whispered, his head staring ahead, eyes glued to the monotone green and red carpet coating the floor. His hand rubbed your arm, maybe subconciously, who knows.

“I’m your boyfriend, you dont need to keep secrets from me, you dont need to hide in fear of shame. Thats not what i’m here for.” His voice remained the same, a tired lacing, with a rasp beginning to rip the seams.

“I’m here to be by your side, hold you as mine, let your tears soak my shoulder, share laughter with you, to share arguments together, even. But I cant do that, if you choose-“ his voice faltered, a sharp inhale interrupting his trail of words, as a seemingly brace for himself. “If you choose drugs over me, my love. You need to choose me. And I know, I know its going to be hard, but I want you to want to give them up, I want you to need the freedom.”

You stayed silent, your head resting onto his shoulder, listening to his words as he spoke. If only, if only, you could seep them in. Let them change you, but the drugs felt stronger, grabbing your wrist and tugging, like a helpless child.

Your voice cracked with emotion as you began, “I can’t, Chris,” a near sob escaped your throat. “I want to, I really do, but I just— I cant.” You gave up, your voice trailing off. Your eyes closed, tears beginning to flow down your cheeks, the painful lump in your throat serving as a warning for the sobs begging to rack through your body.

He nods, closing his eyes. A small, seemingly shattered exhale leaves his lips. His hand doesnt stop its comforting and assuring rubs onto your shoulder, only now, his thumb sweeps over your skin every few seconds.

He rests his head ontop of yours. The previous awkward silence seeps to the ground through the cracks of the wood floor. Acceptance is what takes its place. Acceptance that you couldnt let go, acceptance that Chris couldnt do anything to help, unless you let go. Acceptance, that it just wasnt going to work out, no matter how desperate of a longing ache filled inside Chris’ body. It wasnt his choice.

You were just, fading as the song goes.

1,329 words

TAGS

@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @ssilentzom @b2cute @graysturns @wh0resstuff @sturn-bugz @sunsetsturniolos @strniolo @sturnssmuts @simply-a-simper @stunza @meerkatzthings @joemamaaa42069 @sturniluvr @cindylcuwho @wurlibydominicfike @watercolorskyy @aaliyahsturniolo1 @alyrasturnz @colorthecosmos444 @sturnobsessedwh0re

@lovesturni0l0s @maryx2xx @mattsmad @dollyspsychoxo @riasturns

@starsturni @britishamerican11 @mattspinkshirt

@chrissturniolosworld @ariqolyx

@mels222lunchbox

@elas3

[luvstarkeyy]

MY EXPERIENCE IN THE VOID STATE

english is not my first language so might have some grammatical errors, be nice pls

So, first of all, this happened to me about a month ago, and I wanted to share this cause it was so random to me.

I never really tried to get into the void state cause I never really understood what that was, I read some stuff before but in my mind was kinda “impossible” for me to get into that state, yknow? So I never rlly cared about that.

But one day I was going to sleep and I listened to some brown noise, cause helps me sleep better, and then I had a nightmare that I was getting followed by someone trying to kill me (?), anyway, this part doesn’t matter, but when I woke up from the nightmare I was in some kind of darkness

Like, all I could see was dark, and I couldn’t feel my body or hear anything. I was scared because of the nightmare so I screamed, but I couldn’t hear myself, was so weird that I thought I was in a sleep paralysis, but then my second thought was like: “shit, maybe I’m shifting”, and then I started to yell my s/o’s name.

Like I said, I still couldn’t hear myself or anything. It felt like I didn’t have a body, like I was just existing, pure consciousness.

But I didn’t realized that it was the void, and I was still scared about the nightmare that I had before, so I just stopped yelling my s/o’s name and tried my best to wake up on my cr asap.

After that, I talked to my friend and she said that I had gotten into the void state. Was so crazy for me cause I didn’t even had to try yknow? I think it just shows how shifting your consciousness is something so natural and you don’t even have to try to do it.

Mb if I wasn’t so scared abt the nightmare I’d have shifted, cause tho I thought in the moment that maybe I was shifting, I was scared to end up shifting into the nightmare, which made me want to wake up on my cr.

My first shift — or mini shift, whatever, — was without intention to shift too. I’ll probably post abt it later.

If you had some experience with the void state too please share in the comments:)

[zeeohoh]

OBX RAFE SMUT | MINORS DNI !

Tags : arguing, toxic!rafe, reader has female anatomy, oral, oral smut, slight fluff at the end(?).

A/N : NOT PROOF READ.

//

Rafe had been avoiding you for weeks now, his work, his dad, his friends, he has a million excuses to not see you, and you've finally had enough.

You were sat on your bed, watching Notting Hill, you had seen this movie a million times but hey, it's your favourite, you can never have enough.

It's a 21:00 on a Saturday, you were *supposed* to see Rafe, or at least, you had hoped you would, he's been blowing you off for weeks now, you guys had been going out for a few weeks but not everyone knew, and it would've been hard for anyone to believe it either because of how he treated you when you were around people you knew, it was like the better and comfortable you felt with him, the terrible he made you feel in public, in simple terms, he treated you like shit, Absolute. Pure. Shit. As if you're some fuck toy or something to help distract him and you only meant something to him when his body was on yours. You didn't entirely feel this way, he seemed to genuinely have feelings for you but his actions said otherwise, so you stopped, or you would've just been delusional. Tired of wanting him to treat you like an actual human being and tired of wrecking your brain over being torn because you felt he had feelings for you but he acted like you mean nothing, and treating you like a nobody, you grab your phone and block him, his number, his instagram, anywhere you have him on your phone, you block him, throw your phone on your pillow and continue playing the movie.

02:19 *ring* *ring*

Your eyes flutter open as you realize you fell asleep watching the movie, you're broken out of yours thoughts as you realize what woke you up in the first place, your front door bell ringing.

Who the fuck is at my door at 2 in the damn morning?

You get off your bed, quickly grab your robe and a baseball bat you kept by the shoe rack and peek through the keyhole, it was hard to make out who it was because of the rain, but you recognised the familiar silhouette of a certain Cameron. You sigh and open the door.

"What the fuck Rafe? Look at the time"

"I couldn't reach you anywhere, you wouldn't answer my calls, my texts wouldn't send, what else was I supposed to fucking do? You cut me off everywhere Y/N"

"Just..get inside, you're gonna catch a cold"

"I don't care Y/N"

You take a step aside to let him in , you barely turn around before he grabs your wrists in his hands and pins you to the wall,

"RAFE"

He's so close that you can feel him breathing on you

"Why'd you do it Y/N? Do you really want me out of your life? Is that what you want?"

"It's not like I mean shit to you anyways, Rafe"

"That's not true"

"Like fuck it is, you treat me like absolute shit, you purposely go out of your way to make me feel terrible, you want my attention but you'd rather ask for it by belittling me infront of everyone, by talking down to me or treating me like I'm just someone you use to distract yourself from whatever the fuck you need to be distracted from, sometimes the shit you say isn't even funny, it's straight up childish and immature and rude, I shouldn't even have let you in after the shit you've said and the shit you've done, I deserve better than how you treat me. "

You could barely finish your sentences without feeling the need to choke up.

"Y/N I-"

"You used to make me feel so good, so safe but now I'm scared to even talk to you because I know nothing nice is gonna come up and I'm gonna get hurt again, I know we're supposed to be just casual but I just didn't think you'll treat me like I'm a nobody to you"

Rafe's gaze softened, and his hands went from your wrists to your shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness because of the things I've said and how I've treated you, but I can't lose you, I don't want to do this without you Y/N, I can't justify why I've said what I've said, what can I do to make it up to you? I'll do anything, I never realized how much it could've affected you, I was being a dick, I'm so, so sorry"

"I know I shouldn't even be talking to you rn, John B would kill me"

Rafe took your hands in his and placed a kiss on the back of both hands. He peppered kisses all over your hands, working his way up to your wrists, your arms, your shoulders, and eventually, your neck, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear and nibbled on the sensitive skin right next to your jaw, which he knew makes you go crazy.

You shuddered under his touch and, out of habit, leaned into him, your head resting on his chest, kissing it, you turned up to look at him, your faces barely inches apart, and close the distance. You plant a kiss on his lips, it was soft, gentle, loving. His hands wander from your neck to your back, you guide his hands to your waist, he gives you a gentle nudge and following his cue, you lift yourself and he picks you up, wrapping your legs around him, his focus goes to your neck and you shudder, he takes that opportunity and slips his tongue in, his movements grow more eager as he softly grinds himself against you, grabbing everywhere you'd let him, at this point, you're both breathing each other, he's kissing you like he's gonna lose you tomorrow, like it's the last time he'll ever have you, your tongues move in a rhythm and your bodies are connected.

"Let's go inside" you say and he takes you to your room, he gently lays you down on your bed, not breaking the kiss once, not letting go of you even. once.

"May I?" He asks you as he nudges your top

You get up and help him remove the tshirt you slept in, he immediately went back to kissing your neck, your collarbone, and slowly made his way down to your chest. He took one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around, gently sucking on it, you let out a soft sigh as he bit it gently while his other hand gave attention to your other one, toying with it, kneading it then he switched to the other one, doing the same as he did for the previous one.

"Let me make you feel good ma"

He made his way further down, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses.

"Tell me if you want me to stop ,okay?"

You just hummed in agreement

"No, I want to hear you say it, tell me if I'm going too far, and I'll stop."

"I don't want you to stop"

He tugged at the waistband of your shorts, and you lifted yourself up, helping him take them off.

"Turn the lights off,Rafe, I don't want you to look at it"

"You're beautiful, every part of you Y/N" he says as he gets up and turns the lights off, finding his way back to you, he plants gentle kisses on your inner thighs, softly massaging them. He slowly made his way to your core, planting a gentle kiss over your clothed core.

You squirmed in the bed, edging your body closer to his mouth, growing more impatient by the second.

"Easy now, I'm getting there" he said as he took your underwear off, folding it up and keeping it next to your bed, he licked a long stripe eliciting a soft moan from you, he latched himself onto your clit, lightly sucking on it, focusing on how you react to it, once he's satisfied, he pushes his tongue inside you, he speeds up exponentially, he's going down on you like a man starved, like you're the last meal he'll ever have, he doesn't slow down, he doesn't stop, he barely comes up for air, he only has one thing on his mind, making you come. Your hands find their way to his hair, grabbing them and tugging at them.He violently thrusts his tongue in and out of you, practically abusing your clit while you're a moaning mess, he hooks your legs over his arms to grip you and hold you down as you squirm and push yourself onto his face, his nose is lightly bumping against your clit, your moans turn him on and he started grinding against the bed, he suddenly inserts a finger in you which make you arch your back, pumping in and out of you, hitting your g spot as his thumb makes it way to your clit and rubs circles on it, while his other hand grabs your breast and plays with it, the sudden increase in stimulation drive you closer to your edge, your eyes are shut, you can't say anything, you can't think of anything other than how good his mouth feels, how good he's making you feel, you feel the burning sensation, signalling you're not that far

"Rafe I'm gonna-"

He doesn't even let you finish that sentence before he speeds up, you didn't think it was possible for him to go faster, but he was, the room is silent except for the moaning mess he's made of you and the unholy sounds he's making as he eats you out, he can feel how close you are, he hums in satisfaction.

"It's okay, come for me" You can feel the smirk he has on his face as he says it

Right as he finishes his sentence, you came. hard, harder than you've probably ever come. You're a panting mess, he slows down his movements but he doesn't stop, helping you ride out your high, once he's sure, he gets up and grabs a towel, cleaning you up, he kisses your thighs and helps you up on the bed, and lays down next to you. He holds you close and whispers in your ear

"I'm so sorry for ever making you feel like you mean less than to me than you actually do, I won't do it again"

"It's easier said than done, Cameron, don't make me regret giving you another chance"

you turn to face him and bury your face in his chest, slowly drifting away into a peaceful sleep as he plants a kiss on your forehead and holds you close. He'll spend as long as it is needed to make up for how he treated you, taking care of you and cherishing you for as long as you'd have him.

[yallthemwitches]

Catch the Wind Ch. 16: Doing Wrong

I'm posting this ahead of AO3 because I know it will probably be controversial and I would love some feedback. Look at me gifting scandalous things for my birthday. Very NSFW.

Read the rest of the story here.

James Potter always knew when he had done something wrong. Of course, it never stopped him, but he was well acquainted with the thick rush of cold that fell over his body when he realized he had done something that would irreversibly change a certain aspect of his life. When he realized he had, in short, fucked up. 

He first felt it as a child when he decided to play with his dad’s potion ingredients, leaving the house smelling of charred hair and skin for a week. And again, when he and Sirius had followed an unsuspecting Remus one full moon night in second year just to find an adolescent werewolf who didn’t know the difference between friend and food. Most of all, he had definitely felt that way after he had hoisted Snape up by the lake in fifth year, punctuated fully by the look of hatred on Lily’s face.

This time was starting to feel like one of those times.

He trudged after Lily. Her hair swung against her exposed back as she walked and James couldn’t help but let his teenage brain take over a second to remark on how the last time he had looked at her backside, he was leaving kisses down her spine before a final languorous kiss between her legs.

She didn’t turn back to look at him, but he could tell she was tense. It was the way she held her shoulders, straight and higher than normal. He had seen it a million times, both directed at him and not, and even that felt irresistible. He felt the urge to reach for her, kiss her body until the tension shuddered away. At least under the current circumstances, he knew better than to act on impulse.

He attempted to draft some sort of apology in his head that would acquit him of the complete arsehole behavior he had displayed at the party. If he was going to be really honest with himself, and subsequently to her, he knew he couldn’t apologize because there was no part of him that regretted what he had done. He felt bad for embarrassing her, but definitely not sorry. 

Maybe if the two of them had talked about the quidditch pitch incident earlier, he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did— but that rang untrue too. He knew going in he would never be able to look at Slughorn or any of the Slytherin team again without those words flashing before his eyes, searing an unimaginable hatred that edged on murderous. Moodblood fucker, Blood Traiter. 

Now feeling a shot of pure hatred seep through his bones, he realized that they were lucky he hadn’t done anything worse than ruin the party with a few words. He had never wanted to use dark magic against someone before, not even when it had been used against him with Snape, but fuck if he did now. Perhaps there was where the true problem lay: he was never going to enter this night with any civility. 

Lily turned the corner of the dungeon corridor and made for the steps that led back up into the first floor of the castle. He figured she was leading them back to the dorms or Head’s office where she could properly scream at him for his brash behavior. For a split second, the horrible flash of losing Lily over this plagued his thoughts, that he had shown her he was capable of being the same James she hated back in fifth year. If that was true, then he would actually be sorry. 

She stopped at the foot of the steps and turned quickly to face him, her chest still as though holding her breath. Her eyes were bright and wide, and even from his distance away from her he knew he had seen that look before but for some reason was having a difficult time placing it. He wondered if he even wanted to place it. Despite it all, she looked absolutely perfect.

He opened his mouth to speak, but then abandoned the action. Even knee deep in shit, he found himself being distracted by her. The deep V in her dress let the curve of her breasts peak out and become accentuated in the firelight of the dungeon torches. Her left leg, exposed from the cut of her dress, calling for him to run his hand over it, just like he had done hours before. 

He tried to clear his head, to focus, to get in the game, to feel bad. He pushed to speak again, but she moved to talk and for once he was thankful to be silenced. 

“You are going to listen to me, because you have talked too much already tonight.” 

She was freakishly still. Her eyes bore into him and once again he struggled to place the emotion behind the gaze. His gut told him the look was similar to that day with Snape at the lake, but even that didn’t fully grasp it. There was something deeper, more primal than he was used to. Despite the growing terror filling his stomach, he knew whatever it was, it was completely unfiltered.

He wanted to close his eyes, brace for impact. He knew what was coming, like all the other times he had ever fucked up. All tragedies must end in a sacrifice, whether that was a death, loss or an act of retribution. The blade was being raised, and it was his neck waiting for the fall.

“I am going to suck you off right here, right now in this hallway until you come.”

It certainly felt like a blow to the head, positive he was suffering from a panic induced hallucination. He watched as she took another step towards him, feeling unstable. Now closer, the look in her eyes was finally taking form. There was anger, sure, but more than that there was hunger. It was the look of an animal about to kill their prey.

She continued, not giving James a moment to cut in. 

“I’m going to make you come inside my mouth and then when you have recovered, you are going to fuck me as hard as you ever have–”

Fuck fuck fuck. He definitely heard that correctly. His mind was going fuzzy and the world spun around him. She had hands on him now, pulling at the buttons of his robes,continuing to speak in a plain, composed voice, as she would talking about the weather or patrol schedules. 

“---and when you have fucked me until I don’t even know my own name or what year it is anymore, you are going to take me upstairs to your bedroom, and do it again–”

He didn’t know when his shirt had come off, but her hands were now yanking at his belt, ripping at it so hard he half wondered if she would take out a belt loop. “Holy shit, holy merlin, christ, god, whoever.”

“And before you ask, I don’t care if your stupid friends are in there. I don’t care if they stay or go or even fucking join in. You are going to take me in there and pound me into your mattress until even a silencing spell won’t stop the rest of this godforsaken castle from hearing me scream for you.”

James felt like his soul had left his body and he was now watching reality unfold completely severed from himself. He wondered if he had died, if the party had actually gone worse than he thought and killing curses had been thrown. It felt like there was no explanation, no fucking magnificent reasoning as to why Lily had now sunk to her knees in the middle of a very public, very open corridor with his pants unzipped. All it would take was one of the non-slytherin students to go back to their dorms for someone to see them—and maybe that was exactly what she wanted. The thought alone made him want to come before they even started.

“Oh fuck, Oh Evans, Oh Baby.” Lily smiled, but at the use of her surname or the use of the new pet name, he wasn’t completely sure. His eyesight was failing him, now only able to make out the red of her hair and the brilliant green of her eyes that stared up at him while she yanked his pants down further to release him out of his clothes. She curved her flat palm against the base of his cock, and he let out a strangled gasp, surging back into reality. 

“I’m going to last five seconds, Evans. Holy shit—I didn’t realize you—I thought—Oh fuck.”

His eyesight came back to him just in time to watch Lily cock an eyebrow. Her lips were pursed with amusement, face just inches away from his weeping head. 

“You thought what, baby?” She threw the pet name back at him and it made his cock twitch. “You thought my knickers haven't been completely soaked through since the night began?”

Lily took the hand that was sliding up his leg and snaked it under the slit of her dress. She pulled the fabric back so he could see the tiny strip of lace that she was using as knickers and with no preamble slipped one finger, then another between her legs. She kept her eyes locked on his face as she pulled her now drenched fingers out and raised them to her lips. 

“See?” She ran her tongue slowly over her own arousal, taking the fingers into her mouth and making a point to hollow out her cheeks as she sucked. James nearly doubled over. His cock was now leaking significantly, and he knew all it would take was a second of her mouth to make him implode. 

“Fuck, Christ fuck Evans—-let me taste.” 

“Later. You are listening to me, remember?” 

Merlin—-shit.

For a second, James considered knocking her back onto the ground and taking her right there. It wouldn’t have been his first act of disobedience that night. Lily must have seen the look in his eye because she wasted no more time torturing him, grabbing his arse with her still wet hand and pushed his cock fully into her mouth. 

The noise James made bounced off the cavernous walls of the corridor. A deep animalistic noise that felt reminiscent of his stag form. She swirled her tongue around his tip, using her hand on his bum to guide him until he grasped what exactly she wanted him to do: thrust into her mouth.

Pushing through the haze, he grasped onto her hair harder than he had ever allowed himself and with her rhythm moved his hips back and forth with the motion of her mouth sliding over him. It felt completely unlawful to feel as good as it did, like some higher being would come down from the heavens to smite him for feeling like this. She kept her eyes locked on his face, watching as his own focused on the movement of his cock entering and exiting her lips. Words spilled out of him completely of their own accord, stringing together a weak commentary of the ecstasy he was feeling inside. 

“You are so beautiful. No one has ever made me feel this way and fuck no one ever will—the amount of times I’ve imagined you on your knees like this—and it was shit in comparison to how you look now—”

Lily moaned around his cock, sending a shock through his body. She took one long lick on his tip before removing her mouth for a moment, making James groan from the loss of her warm throat. Her lips were gleaming and swollen in the firelight.

“Come for me baby. Come in my mouth and let me swallow every last drop of you. Come so loud those fucking pricks at the party can hear how good I make you feel, then you can do whatever you want to me because I’m yours.”

What the fuck was he supposed to say to that? 

She took him in totality into her mouth again and slid her tongue just under his shaft. His body was trembling, he could feel his climax fast approaching as words continued to tumble out of his mouth. Fuck, just like that, oh baby, oh Lily—-there.

“Come for me, Potter.” She didn’t even remove him from her mouth to say it. She lifted a hand to cup his balls and the world bottomed out. He tried as hard as he could to keep his eyes open, watching her eyes watch him as he let out a deep vibrating sigh that echoed through the corridor down into the dungeons. Legs giving out, he keeled over to balance himself on her. 

He spilled into her mouth and he watched as she swallowed without hesitation, using her tongue to lap around him to make sure nothing was missed. When she finally released him, a pleased smile painted on her face, he sank to his knees, taking her tongue immediately in between his teeth.

“Are you fucking joking? How am I supposed to live now, Evans? How am I supposed to do fucking anything now knowing you could be doing that to me.”

He clawed the thigh cut in her dress and she didn’t stop him. He found the sad excuse for knickers as soaked if not more than when she had tasted herself earlier and slipped two fingers into her immediately, making her melt into him. Her whole body folded into his, head finding the crook of his shoulder and biting down. 

“Ah--James.” She choked out just before he curled his fingers in the way he knew would make her gasp. “You’ve ruined me, fucking ruined me with your hand alone—-ever since this summer—-.”

He circled his thumb on her clit, making her gasp further into his collarbone. His other hand pushed into the V of her dress, pulling her breast just enough for the soft pink of her tit to escape the fabric. He suctioned himself on it, wrapping his other arm around her waist to keep her stable as he continued to pulse his fingers inside her. She was so wet, more than he thought was possible for a woman to be. It surged his ego. He did that. He did that to her. 

“James—baby, christ.” He continued his work in practiced rhythm. The sound of his hand slipping in and out of her was downright pornographic, seeming loud enough for the entire dungeon to hear. 

Lily pushed her forehead into the crux of his shoulder, alternating from biting down to babbling affirmations. 

“Please James.” She bit back down and he let out a groan.

“Yes baby, beg for me. Beg me to make you come and then I’ll do it again with my cock. I’ll do whatever you want, I’m yours.”

In response, she bucked her hips. Pushing his fingers farther into her. At this point, his hand was nearly soaked. He could feel her tightening around him now, her body aching for release. 

“Baby, I’m so close.”

Later, when thinking over that moment, he was shocked he didn’t miss it entirely. A noise, a soft thump of a shoe on stone somehow made it over the endless cries and moans Lily spilled out into his ear. James’ eyes shot up to look past her shoulder, careful to keep his pace inside her. 

At first it was hard to concentrate, but as his eyes focused, the silhouette of Snape’s body became more defined in the darkness of the corridor. He stood deadly still, hand outstretched and wand pointing directly at where James still had his own hand working Lily nearly to orgasm. 

When he would think back on it the next day, he couldn’t pinpoint why he made the decision he did. Perhaps it was because he had no idea where his wand was, presumably lost in his dress robes which had been torn aside long ago. Or, perhaps it was because, deep down, he knew that Snape wouldn’t do anything. But mostly, and worse of all, he knew it was because he wanted him to see. 

In total, it couldn’t have been more than seconds. Snape never moved, hand and wand poised but inactive. His eyes were wide, unblinking. James continued to stare over Lily’s shoulder, miraculously never faltering his tempo inside her as her hips continued to push into him. She moved faster, harder, continuing to beg him for release. 

He hated how much he loved that she was falling apart for him and Snape was witnessing it.

He ignored the feeling in his stomach that told him he was doing something wrong and continued to zero in on him, contracting his fingers inside her, knowing exactly what game he was playing at and that he was fucking good at it. 

He made sure his eyes were saying everything he couldn’t. Watch me make her come Snivellus. Watch as I do the thing you have only wanked your slimy prick off to in your dreams. Remember how she screams my name and let it haunt you for the rest of your decrepit life.

He wasn’t proud of it, but in the moment, it was the greatest revenge he could imagine. 

Lily’s hips bucked against his hand and he could feel her body start to quiver. Keeping his eyes on Snape, he turned his head slightly to brush his lips with her ear. 

“Come for me baby. Come on my hand—let me feel it. Then I’ll taste it just like you want. Come Lily, Come.”

Lily reached her arms around him, grabbing at his hair and tugging at the roots. James fought to keep his eyes locked with Snape, but saw no change of expression. Snape might as well have been petrified. 

He lightly circled his thumb on her clit then plunged his fingers into her as far as his knuckle. She fell apart. 

“Fuck. James James James—-” 

The sound of his name awakened something in Snape. His face scrunched into a look of abject horror and he recoiled backwards. A second later, he disappeared back around the corner towards the party from which he came. 

If it was wrong, then why did it feel so good. 

Lily collapsed in his arms and he allowed himself to fall back into a seat on the ground. He kissed the lingering moans that fell from her mouth and pet her hair which now shrouded her face like a halo. 

“Holy Shit.” She pulled away from him and her eyes glowed in the aftermath, lips and cheeks rosy. 

James ducked to kiss her, unable to resist before cradling her back into his chest. He knew that letting Snape see them was not going to go unpunished. At that very second, he could be rounding up some of his death eater mates to come and take the action he was unable to do alone. For a second he wondered if Lily had even noticed that they had gotten an audience, but if she did, she didn’t show it.

Instead, Lily began redoubling her efforts. He could feel her hand reaching back for his cock which had easily rebounded after coming inside her mouth. She curled around it and the world started to blink away again. It was so tempting to stay in that corridor and finish what she had originally proposed…

For once that day, he needed to make the correct choice, but he wasn’t going to like it. 

“The party is going to be done soon—” 

It wasn’t convincing. Even as he said it, Lily stroked him gently, licking at the bite marks she had left on his neck during her orgasm.

“---As much as I’d love, and I mean love, for everyone to know how well I fuck you—”

Lily snorted under her breath. “Arrogant.”

“I think I’d rather get us somewhere more comfortable where I can finally taste you properly without being interrupted–.”

Lily’s hand stalled on his cock. He could practically hear the cogs moving in her head. 

“---then after you come in my mouth, only then will I—how did you put it— pound you into my mattress–”

He could hear Lily’s breath becoming shallow again. Admittedly, he wasn’t doing much better, feeling less and less inclined to make it upstairs as he spoke. 

“---and will continue to do so until you can barely walk to classes tomorrow.`’

Consider her convinced. In all honesty, he didn’t know how they made it from the dungeons all the way back to the tower. It all seemed a big blur of running and laughing and pushing each other against walls to continue snogging before moving on. 

All of the questions of the day took a backseat to the utmost want that completely enveloped them. Even after coming once, Lily was still ravenous for him, making their trip back up to the dorms that much harder. He wondered if she had ever actually been angry at what he had said at the party, or if it had just made her completely randy. He shelved the question for another time. 

To his awe, Lily completely kept to her word about the dorms portion of the evening. Without even consulting him on how to proceed, she swung open the door of the marauders room and pulled him to her for a kiss. Peter was the only one there and almost fell off his bed at the sight of them, eyes like globes as Lily pulled James by his shirt towards his bed.  

“I have some unfinished business with your mate, Pettigrew, so I suggest you get out or close your curtains.”

Peter didn’t need to be told twice. He scurried out of the room, more like a rat than James had seen him act in human form. He knew he was going to have to answer for it later from the rest of his mates, but the thought was cut short by Lily letting her dress fall to her ankles before Peter had even gotten the door closed.

“Marry me Evans. Either marry me or kill me now.”

Lily walked slowly over to his bed, looking over her shoulder once she reached the bedpost. Her knickers didn’t cover a shred of her bum, practically useless. 

“Fuck me first.”

He couldn’t argue with that. He pushed her onto her stomach, not even caring to close the curtains around them. He trusted Peter would make sure the word was out to the rest of the lads.

“How do you want me? Whatever you want, baby, whatever.”

Rather than turning onto her back like they had become so accustomed to, she remained on all fours, looking back at him. For the first time that evening, a wave of timidness crossed her face, flushing her back and cheeks.

“---do you want to try something new?”

Fuck Fuck Fuck He steadied himself on the post of the bed. Even from the back, he could see that she was dripping from earlier. He wasted no time taking off his clothes and joining her on his knees behind her. 

“You are so beautiful, fuck it’s embarrassing what you do to me.” 

This was new territory for him. Really, all of it was if he was being honest. In the beginning of sixth year, he had dated a Ravenclaw a year older, Maelle Fraser, who had taken his virginity. She had been fun and was the kind of person any bloke would want to experience sex with for the first time, but now being with Lily, the memory of Maelle paled in comparison. Other girls he fooled around with became repetitive, mundane, as though sex was just something in his routine. With Lily, it felt like a miracle each time. He was insatiable, he wanted her all day and night in any way she would let him, much less choose how to take her. When they were together he felt in awe of her, he wanted to worship her, keep her in bed for days on end just to kiss every part of her body and then some. He loved her, and there was no amount of time or way to show that enough. 

He couldn’t imagine loving her more than right that moment, with her on her hands and knees begging for him, but he knew tomorrow there would come something else, then something else the day after that that would make him feel just the same—like his love for her was endless and ever shifting. 

He put a hand on the small of her back and pushed softly, inviting her to lower her chest to the mattress while her arse stayed up. Cheek pressed into the quilt, she looked at him, eyes blown out and mouth swollen. 

“Please,” it came out more as a whisper. The dominant, ravenous Lily that had sucked him off in the hallway earlier was floating away, and the Lily he was more accustomed to was taking over. Not submissive by any stretch, but more prone to coax and beg rather than to tear pleasure from him. 

James moved himself back a little bit, grabbing both sides of her ass in his hands and lowered himself to be eye level with her center. It wasn’t hyperbolic, she was dripping. The inside of her thighs sleek with her own arousal.

“You owe me a taste.”

He flicked out his tongue and ran it from the back of her folds to her clit, making sure to dip inside her as he passed. The moan she emitted was a revelation. A sound James knew he would spend the rest of his life chasing as often as possible. Her hands grasped the quilt for support. 

“Fuck, James—that feels incredible. Don’t stop.”

He repeated his movement, this time adding slightly more pressure and she answered again with the same moan. The new angle made it harder to reach her clit, but seemed to bring her a new sensation to the rest of her body. With every new cry, his cock ached, threatening to release before he wanted. 

“Fuck Lily, I’m sorry, I need to be inside you. I’m not gonna last long as it is.”

Lily just moaned in response. He pulled back, letting Lily readjust herself back up on hands and knees, holding herself onto the headboard. When she looked back at him in anticipation, he could see she was already close to the edge. He needed no further invitation.

Since fifth year he used to fantasize about her exactly like this: in his dorm room naked, screaming his name while he thrusted into her from behind, her body trembling for release. The thought used to make him come so fast in his hand for years—the secret solution for when he needed to make quick work of himself. 

 It turned out, the reality of it was so much better. The new angle hit a spot inside her that made her shudder almost immediately and she bowed to the feeling, pressing her forehead firmly into the headboard for stability. He was mesmerized by the new vantage point in which he disappeared inside her, the advantage of holding onto her arse and reaching around to touch her clit, feeling her shake from his weight. Still, he was torn by the desire to savor the new sensations her muscles made on his cock or to give her what she wanted: to fuck her hard and fast.

She made the decision for him. 

“Harder. Please.”

He couldn’t argue with that. He pushed deeper, feeling her body pulse around him. He sped up with force, now pushing into her with the majority of his strength. He would have worried about hurting her if she wasn’t making the most delicious sounds that had ever been put to auditory frequency. He felt his orgasm mounting with each thrust forward, feeling too much pleasure to care. 

“Baby come for me, I need you to come because I can’t hold it much longer.”

But she was already there. She gripped the headboard and threw her head back, hair falling around her shoulders, arching her whole backside. He could feel her whole body tighten around him and the sensation broke him entirely. He released into her fast and hard and she moaned at the feeling of his ejaculation, shaking slightly before collapsing fully onto the mattress. He followed suit, laying himself lightly over half of her body, and their legs curled together, sweaty and spent. 

“I love you.” He whispered it into her back, still breathless. He meant it, just like all the other times. She was everything to him at once, loving, fierce, comforting, but an incredible force all the same. 

“I’m sorry if I upset you at the party—but maybe I’m not if this was the result.” 

Lily chuckled under him. 

“I love you too. We can talk about the party later, but first I think you promised me another round.”

He couldn’t believe his luck. 

*****

Despite being the most tired he quite possibly had ever been in his life, James had to be the happiest bloke alive. His mates had never come back to the dorm that night, and they had been smart not to. James wasn’t quite the best with time, but he knew that it still had been dark when he took her again with him standing on the side of the bed, then a bit lighter when she had ambushed him out of the loo, leaving them on a heap on the ground in the middle of the room. By the time full sunlight came in through the windows, he was lazily pushing into her while spooning on their sides, sleep fighting its way into their movements. 

He almost convinced her to skive off potions for one more cheeky go about before they could finally sleep, but ever the perfect Head Girl, she yanked herself from his arms and slouched herself out the door, looking the definition of well shagged. 

“God please at the very least tell me you didn’t shag on my bed—though if you did, we might need to unpack that.”

James grumbled. He had just started to drift off to sleep, wishing he could still feel Lily’s heart beating against him when Sirius had been the first to brave his way into the dorm. 

“So I take it Pete told you.”

Sirius snorted. “More like Pete cowered in the common room like he saw a boggart. The poor bloke will probably need therapy after what you and Evans put him through. What did you even do?”

“Everything. Not enough. Never enough.”

“Aw c’mon he didn’t even see anything—.”

“ Evidently, He saw plenty.”

A moment of clarity startled him. In all their romping around, he had almost forgotten. The image of Snape with his wand poised, completely still, surged to the forefront of his mind. That icy feeling of regret started to pour its way down his veins. 

 Did she know Snape had been there? And if she didn't, how could he tell her? What does one even say in that scenario? Oh darling, by the way, while you were shagging me senseless your disgustingly bigoted ex-mate who has wanted to fuck you since he knew his prick existed watched you come—and I let him, because I wanted to shove it in his face. 

Maybe he was still the James Lily had loathed in fifth year.

“Sirius, I messed up.”

“Judging by the way Evans looked walking out of the tower this morning, I’d say you did pretty well for yourself actually.”

James felt a smile twitch on his face, conjuring up the image of Lily that morning. Fuck his thick, egotistical, teenage mind. 

He pushed on. “No mate—I, kinda—look you have to promise me you aren’t going to judge me.”

Sirius crossed his arms behind his head, looking more smug than normal. 

“Can’t wait.”

“I might have—merlin it sounds so fucked—Snape might have seen Lily and I shagging last night–-and I didn’t stop him…or I guess us—meaning the shagging.”

There was silence. 

“Lily doesn’t know— at least I don’t think—she was, er, indisposed.”

Another silence. Sirius brow furrowed. He opened his mouth and closed it multiple times before finally choosing his words. 

“What the fuck?”

Sirius was sitting up now. Eyes bright. His face jumped from twitching to laugh to a confused, twisted frown. 

“Like because you were…into it?”

A zap of disgust. 

“What? No mate, because–,” James felt his voice falter. Time to admit his ego. Time to admit the gross part of him he didn’t want even Sirius to see. “---Because I wanted him to see she was mine. It’s awful I know—”

Sirius burst out laughing. The sound made James' head hurt even more than the fatigue. 

“Wow, thank fucking merlin. And here I was feeling jealous that I wasn’t your first choice for a third in your weird kinky shit—.”

James shot up in bed, using all of his energy to glare at his mate. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you—god, no—and I thought the truth was bad.”

He expected Sirius to keep laughing, but something sobered him up quicker than was usually his habit. James eyed his mate and could see that something was worming its way inside of Sirius’ usually impenetrable amusement. 

“Prongs, joking aside, you know that he wants her right?”

No one had ever put it into words for him before. Of course James knew that Snape fancied Lily. Even if she was oblivious to it, he had caught on early enough to make it one of the sole reasons he loathed him so much. How many years had he watched Lily go to him, be closer to him than he could ever dream…and then what? Turn against her, treat her like dirt just because he wanted to feel power for once in his pathetic little life, thinking even after all that she could still love him. 

“Obviously.”

“No, I mean like I think he really wants her.”

James sat up. He couldn’t tell if Sirius was taking the piss out of him or not. If so, it was a serious allegation, even for Snape. 

“You are going to need to elaborate for me.”

Sirius sat up as well, now sitting across from James. 

“I wish I could—I promised her I wouldn’t.”

A flash of jealousy. Maybe not because Lily and Sirius had secrets between them, but because Sirius was loyal enough to her to keep them. Keep them even from him. 

“---Besides, I can’t be certain—honestly I could be just making this shit up—but that bloke is no good around her, mate. Hopefully your little ego boost will make him leave her alone, but something tells me it won’t.”

James didn’t know what to think. His fatigue was making him woozy and he wished he had never even tried to tackle the subject in such a state.Part of him wanted to shake more information out of Sirius, but he knew nothing would come of it. Mostly, he wanted Lily back in his arms, back where he knew she was safe, now worried about whatever waited for her outside his grasp. He had hurt her, she might not know it yet, but he had potentially endangered her for what he had done or not done. That was inexcusable.In the back of his mind, the twist of Snape’s face continued to stare back at him, stare back at them. He started to feel sick.

“Look mate, if you want my advice: Don’t stoop to his level. Just because Snape wants to own her, doesn’t mean you have to.”

Sirius probably didn’t mean for it to come as such a blow as it did, but it hit nonetheless. It was the blade crashing down. His own egotistical, arrogant self coming back to haunt him, haunt the halo of trust he had built around himself and Lily. The person he loved. 

The night ending in tragedy after all.

[greghatecrimes]

dies. dies again. dies a third time. hugs them to my chest like teddy bears.

[narwhalandchill]

every day i wake up have another fucking Realization about ajax and the shit he says and i just. Holds head in hands

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE SAID THIS IN 1.1 WHAT DOES HE KNOWWWW

like childe Literally said skirk never elaborated on the narwhal thing to his face At All nvm explicitly bring up its origins as a cosmos traveling entity so its like. Either he lied (which would be funny as fuck im ngl) or Literally just . got the completely coincidental urge to call out the phrase "celestial voyager" at . his elemental attack recreation of the creature that just Happens to indeed be A celestial voyager . just Somehow. like how wildly convenient of you to identify that element specifically there with 100% accuracy ajax care to fucking Elaborate on the source of that inspiration there . Thanks xx

(i want this man dead irl)

[redhotarsenic]

It’s so fucked that the main source of unease I felt building up over the past several months was me feeling pressured to perform femininity to be seen as desirable to other people. It was never ever said said out loud in that space but I could FEEL it and I never knew until it was pointed out to me.

[saltyztuna]

Summer may be ending soon but y’know what’s never ending?

That’s right!- This Maniac’s Bloodlust and Competitiveness! Yippeeeeee~~~

(Based on that one ff14 red chocobo meme..)

[databent]

why the fuck is it that some people cant seem to acknowledge that people can just... be disabled. not through any fault of their own, not because something "happened" to them, just because, you know, sometimes people have disabilities. like, come on

[motherforthefamicom]

finally got the new desk set up in my room and cleaned out my dresser nd closet (had barely touched anything in there for Literal Years cuz of how much of a mess they were). feels surreal